#sorry anon I got really rambly

[utilitycaster]

if you're up to elaborating, i would love to hear more about your complicated feelings on Taliesin's reads of this campaign, because that's something that's been itching my brain but I'd been having a hard time pinpointing why and I'm interested to hear your thoughts!

So I think it's best summarized in part as a combination of what was said in this post I just reblogged and these tags from @kerosene-in-a-blender on this post:

#yeeeaaaahhhh#ngl it seems like the characters and parts of the cast got so caught up in the potential moral dilemma of interventionist gods#that they forgot the gods of exandria aren't particularly interventionist#critical role#critical role spoilers#cr spoilers

Ashton feels like they learned something about their own arrogance and assumptions with Shardgate...and then it just vanished. And the fact that Taliesin genuinely read that as what was supposed to happen when like 3-4 authority figures, some of whom (Allura) have existed since Campaign 1 as People To Listen To had said "This is a bad idea" in plain language does give me pause because like...with all due respect, I get why Ashton would do this anyway! But come on, man, how do you hear that and not go "oh maybe it's a bad idea."

I don't want to read in too much to cooldown and 4SD either but I really do just feel that like...some of the cast, and Taliesin isn't alone in this but definitely seems to be using it the most in-game, have come under the impression that the purpose of this campaign is specifically to upend everything we knew...but that idea is just an assumption that is not supported, and as I've said repeatedly, there is no situation in which the world is not drastically changed - there's going to be either a hostile alien invasion, or a friendly alien migration, but either one will be monumental within Exandrian history, and that's not counting the establishment of the Accord/the collapse of local institutions in both the Dwendalian Empire and Bassuras/ If one cannot see any possibility for vast change within the world other than killing/driving out the gods, I don't know how to address this nicely. This is an uncreative and stupid position that I can't engage with because it's so stupid. It's like saying World War II didn't change anything in our world because at the end of it the US and USSR both still existed largely intact. So the over-focus on only one means of change in a way that feels based on an interpretation of this campaign's purpose that isn't even stated anywhere is telling and deeply frustrating.

As the second post indicates, it feels like some of the cast, Taliesin especially, got caught up in a theological argument of divine intervention that personally I had a great time debating in Hebrew school when I was 13, but is not ultimately true in Exandria (or reality, for that matter). On some level it's like maybe read some Harold Kushner and you'll calm down; it feels like you're arguing against like, some very real religious tenets (that are not exclusively Christian for once) but in a story where that's not actually a problem.

I'd throw in that Bells Hells sit in this awkward place of not being nobodies (or Nobodies) anymore but many are still acting like it and Ashton is at the forefront. Indeed, look at the name "the Nobodies." The problem is that Ashton is a Somebody now. He's not like, the ruler of a city, or an ancient dragon, or a god. But they're someone who has the personal raw power and the connections to survive an ill-considered second shard absorption. They're someone who is easily going to survive a fall out of a window, and who can't be bound into service. They are someone who has been entrusted by the world to assist in saving it, and they're too fixated on the gods not personally saving them to consider the vast potential harm to others, and I think it's not inherently out of callousness but rather that they've rather abruptly risen from "orphan criminal who expected to be dead by 30" to "guy tasked to save the world" but they have no option but to rise to the occasion, as the Raven Queen said. To change the world, he must change himself, and I feel like Taliesin, who often enjoys the idea of characters who don't change, is perhaps too wed to that concept for this particular narrative. And, for what it's worth: I've said it before that my personal preference is to keep the gods in place...but I would genuinely be MILES happier with a party that decisively had decided to kill the gods. I would not agree with their decision, but anything is better than this indecision. And since Ashton is pretty staunchly in favor of killing the gods and the rest of the party is varying degrees of strongly against (Orym, Braius), weakly against (Chetney, Fearne, Imogen, increasingly Laudna) and unsure but worried specifically about the mortal impact (Dorian) at some point it's like. Either say "I don't like this, but this is the party's plan" or leave. The decisiveness matters on an individual level too; because Bells Hells does not have good internal methods of resolving conflict for reasons stated above and below, at some point it's like. You have to give it up because no one will make you. If Ashton genuinely cannot or will not yield on this, either commit to betraying the party (totally valid, could be a great story) or have them leave; if Ashton does trust the party, have them reluctantly give in. A party-wide choice must be made and fast. The party is aimless because they are all pulling in different directions and it all cancels out, but Ashton is definitely contributing extensively to that agonizing stasis.

I suppose I should wrap up with what I've been saying a lot but should probably go on this post which is that a lot of the flaws in this campaign are not any singular person's fault. I really do feel like they began with the fact that Matt was clearly building to this specific story, and Bells Hells were not a party terribly suited to it in the first place and then were given an earlier narrative that, because it was heavily on rails to get them to the solstice setpiece, failed to give them the tools to become people who would be prepared for this endgame. I think Matt really wanted the cast to make the decisions here, and did not have a specific decision in mind, and now they're all finding that they're playing characters who can't make that decision. It's a culmination of a lot of smaller out-of-game choices that have failed to gel into a coherent whole. When I say the Raven Queen was right, and if they are not ready for this, to go home, I don't think the party should be tpk-ed or anything, but yeah, if they can't decide what to do when they are essentially tasked with killing the BBEG and diffusing the universe-shattering bomb, they should abdicate. I don't think a story in which the heroes fail is a bad one. I know Call of the Netherdeep has been a touchstone in the fandom throughout this campaign and there's one possible ending to that that's sort of unsatisfying, but the unsatisfying nature itself makes it an interesting story to me. I think this campaign ending with the party saying "we can't do this" is vanishingly unlikely, and complaints aside I think they will probably make a decision now but it all feels exceedingly doylist - Bells Hells are the characters the cast happens to be playing for this climactic final moment so I guess they will play those characters, and those characters will have to make a choice so that the final moment happens, but it doesn't feel terribly organic.

[thegreatyin]

this nemesis ambition started out a little slow but I am getting closer to finding that bastard who killed my wife, and I’ll not rest a minute now that im far closer to on his trail

sorry got in character for a second

Anyways fun ambition so far very fucked up though

congratulations on joining the murder club anon!!!! depending on who you ask the name refers to either people who have murdered or people who have witnessed murder. usually both. actually extremely often both. it's a swell time you'll feel right at home (don't mind our collective skyglass knife collection in the back)

[admiringlove]

since ur putting out sm of mischief managed i was wondering if u get burnt out??? because girl i write on this app too and oh my god???? week after week it’s more and more of amazing writing but i hope ur not tiring urself out or anything ❤️❤️

- lots of love, a concerned fan of ur work 🥹

first of all.

and second, big yes. i do. in fact i’m burnt out rn. i have the entire plot planned out in notion, and i’d written ahead till chapter three, but i’ve caught up with that now, so i’ve begun writing again :/

it’s not the writing part that bothers me. i enjoy it, even. sometimes i even lose sleep over it because i have to get it out of me. the problem isn’t the writing anymore—it’s the fact that it feels like work more than it does fun.

what also doesn’t help, is the fact that a lot of the times, i expect a lot more from the audience who reads it. i do not wish to sound entitled at all, honestly, but 15k+ every chapter is a lot of work. that too, once a week. sometimes i get delayed because i, too, am a human who’s a full time uni student in stem with two courses at the same time.

i don’t mind taking my time to write, but it’s frustrating when i’ve been getting a lot of anonymous asks demanding a new chapter instead of engaging with the actual post (i haven’t been answering them because honestly, i’m not obligated to + i will delete that shit if i see it). i’m not a machine—i’m writing this myself, and that takes time, effort, and motivation. i appreciate the few who leave comments or reblog with thoughts (seriously, you guys are the best), but it’s discouraging when the majority stays silent until they want something new. i’m not using ai to churn out content instantly, and i’m certainly not obligated to meet anyone’s schedule. writing is a process, and like anyone else, i work best with encouragement—even if it’s just a kind word on anon like i’ve received before.

tldr: i’m not ok lmao, and thank you so much dear anon for asking me that. eternally grateful for you checking up on me fr. ily <3

love, sam.

[lover-of-mine]

omggggg YES whether you look at eddie through a demi!gaze or just a queer!gaze, the difference between he and buck is sort of obvious? (to me)

it makes sense for them to say that bi!buck has been scattered throughout the show, we’ve seen and heard hints directed at/about several other male characters. so it’s logical it’s not entirely about eddie for him and therefore his bi!arc starts with someone else

eddie on the other hand hasn’t really had ‘moments’ with other male characters? a lot of his queer!spec comes from his history and the way he is with dating, but his main interactions with other male characters are the softer more domestic scenes with he and buck. 704 proved that eddie’s friendship with other men is completely different to how he is with buck. so in my head it’s logical that for him, it is about buck, and that’s where his queer!arc starts

Yeah, here's the thing, like Oliver pointed out, there are a lot of moments of Buck having flirty moments with men who are not Eddie in the show, even if it wasn't on purpose in the beginning, like, something Oliver was consciously told to portrait, Buck does have a bisexual energy to him from the get-go, and I think it is nice for him to be able to explore that outside the person we all know is the love of his life, yk? He needs to accept that he likes men before he accepts he loves Eddie. It's kinda like the way a lot of feeling realization fics from Buck's pov have Buck fine with the idea of wanting a family with Eddie but panicking when he realizes he wants to have sex with him, he needs to accept that, especially with the way he has a bad relationship with sex overall.

But, Eddie on the other hand, he doesn't have moments with men, he has moments with Buck, I think maybe if you push a little bit, you can say he was flirting with Judd in the crossover, but like, it's been Buck since the ridiculous sexual tension in the gym during under pressure. And, like, until the show tells me I'm wrong I will exist in my "Eddie is settled into his feelings because he thinks Buck can't feel the same" because you can absolutely make an argument for Eddie to be in the "it's not his fault he can't feel the same way about me" stage of falling with your "straight" best friend, I say straight because Eddie still doesn't know, I did write a whole thing on how you can recontextualize the show to make it seem like Eddie has been semi-aware of his feelings since the lawsuit, and I know they are probably not gonna go the route that he's been aware of his feelings (rip shooting as Eddie's oh moment you will always be true to me), but the groundwork for him to be like oh! about Buck at any point is there. And Eddie is a lot more aware of his own feelings than Buck, he wouldn't need someone to kiss him to have the realization, he can have the realization in a less on-the-nose moment. And the thing with the way they have been playing Eddie and his love interests, especially with the added context on Shannon we got last season, that they were friends first and all that, you can make a really strong argument for him to be demisexual and that's why he struggles with the idea of dating, that he feels like that's a performance, and why he has weird chemistry with the woman he pushed himself into dating since Shannon died, and that can absolutely push him towards Buck. Because here's the thing, with Buck dating men, and Eddie's relationship in crisis, he could very well look at Buck and be like "oh, I wasn't aware he was an option" because of the whole struggle with attraction and the way he has such a strong relationship with Buck, and maybe wonder about what it all means, and they can tumble into the realization that maybe they could be more together. That none of them has been secretly pining, but they have such a strong thing going that there's no reason for them not to go there. It could be this natural thing. And it's right there, even more with the comment of Eddie trying to understand his place in the world. Because for Eddie is not about Buck being a man, is about Buck being his best friend, and I think Eddie as a person would need to come to terms with that and he wouldn't get that hung up on the fact that Buck's a man. So Buck can absolutely be his queer awakening. But if Buck had the realization he has feelings for Eddie, he would get hung up on the fact that he is a man if he didn't explore his bisexuality before that.

I kinda think the route we are going here is Buck processing he likes man, Eddie processing he likes Buck, Buck being like "wait men are an option, Eddie is a man, I already have most of the things I'm looking for with Eddie, maybe we can go there" and then maybe some mutual pining before they do go there.

[cursedreflections]

ok .. so ...

should i make a withered rose anon blog that has severly depressing symbolism with flowers dying/withered roses that have to do with being unable to get over their past because i see a bunch of these emoji anon blogs and they look cool so i want one too

or do i just make an oc.

either way im gonn make them multifandom

do NOT choose the alex one that is for ME i will GET YOU /silly

[frownyalfred]

I read your fics and utterly drool over your writing. How did you get better at it, and do you have any advice?

Thank you anon, you're very kind! <3

Practice as much as you can. Read and write every day, if possible. Soak up content/ideas you love and practice it on your own. Too tired to write? Read some fic you enjoy.

Examine your instinctual reactions to writing. Ask yourself: what do I like about this fic? why don't I like this writing style? what is this author doing differently than me? is this something I could attempt?

Get feedback from other writers/readers. It helps if you ask them specific questions, such as "do you think there is a sense of urgency in this chapter?" or "how can I make it seem like they're both yearning when I only show one POV?" Take criticism gracefully, but also cumulatively -- are lots of people giving you the same feedback? Was this just one commenter?

Practice stream-of-consciousness writing if possible. Just sit down with an idea or challenge and let it flow. Don't overthink or double back to edit, just type. What happened? Did you like the result? Why or why not?

Remember that comparison is the theft of joy. I've said it before, but comparing your writing to others' will only make you sad or envious. Your writing style is YOURS, and that's what makes it beautiful! The only comparison you should be making is between past and present writing. And even then, you don't owe anyone improvement -- not even yourself.

[the-one-who-lambs]

Me: I don't know if my ideas are worth sharing, I'm losing engagement from my readerbase these past few months so I must be doing something wrong, I don't think I've really accomplished anything as a writer.

Some person in my AO3 comments hyped as FUCK for the Risen Lamb/Fallen God rewrite:

[dootznbootz]

Eh, have some Odyssey headcanons

This is nowhere NEAR all of them as I like "revealing" headcanons while writing. I'm also just a very "fluffy" person so heads up! :D

Mentioned it in a different post but Odysseus is very affectionate with his loved ones (overtly so. almost demanding in how he'll just kind of drape himself across you) Even as a kid he was like this. Often just hugging them and/or climbing up them to cuddle. It skyrockets with Penelope, as he was overwhelmed with emotions for her when they first met and that hasn't stopped. Lots of little kisses and nuzzles and cuddling. Almost always clinging to her in some way. He's strange about being touched with basically everyone else though. While he's still caring for his friends, you never know if he's fine with a hug or not. Often times he'll just give you a look of "Don't even think about it" mostly at poor Menelaus as I headcanon him as the most physically affectionate. Lots of slaps on the back and big hugs He's a little hot and cold like that

Adding to that, with Penelope, with said little kisses that he gives a lot of, he's fine with "losing" or "yielding" to her with everything but that. He's always trying to "have the last laugh" or you know, the last affection. He's perfectly fine admitting defeat to her with everything else but this. It's probably something he doesn't even realize that he does. He loves being doted on and pampered by her but also unconsciously thinks "you're getting smothered. As soon as you stop moving your hands through my hair. I'M gonna smother you" Get adored, Penelope. (●♡∀♡) I am living vicariously through these dummies.

Laertes always had a "green thumb" even before he left the palace to work in the fields. He always liked plants. If you know how J.R.R. Tolkein writes, basically nonstop about ferns and undergrowth and such, that's Laertes. If you go on a walk/hunt with him, he'll often just look at plants and be happy and likes to study them. He was very picky about how plants are arranged on the property. He's a bit more quiet and "gruff".

Odysseus definitely mostly takes after his mother in almost everything. Her humor and mischief, her looks, even learned to woodcarve from her. She and Penelope get along great and she's definitely the "life of the party". (it's MY headcanon and I can do what I want!!!) While Laertes loves his trees and plants, it's even better when he can share that knowledge and passion with his wife who creates something entirely new with that plant (aka wood). "That's walnut you know. Did you know it blahblahblahblah".

Ctimine actually takes a lot after Laertes but mostly in the "kind of quiet" way but she's the type to make one-liners that make everyone in the room laugh. (that she gets from her Mother. I actually want Laertes to be kind of awkward lol) It's a "she doesn't talk much but when she does. You should listen because she's fucking funny." She actually likes plants as well. (as a child she would find out what stuff tasted horrible and then dare Odysseus to eat it. And ofc he did it basically every time. "Eat a raw Olive, idiot. >:) " ) and probably was more into herbology and its uses. When Odysseus comes back, she and Laertes want to know every detail of the Lotus and the Moli Root.

Penelope has a sweet tooth! Also, I have her quite short despite being a Naiad as I have a headcanon that like a lot of fish, water nymphs grow to the size of the body of water they're in. Or in this specific case, BORN in. Penelope was born in a creek/stream🥲 Her mom dove into the nearest source of water and that was it. (kind of goes along with her duck myth) She also canonically says the most out-of-pocket shit (remember the sneeze of death???) she's a "weird girl". She has been "weird" since the beginning. Weird girls are hot as fuck, you cowards!

Penelope: One time, I fell asleep at the bottom of the river and I woke up to a catfish trying to eat my arm. Mom and I killed it and ate it afterward. Odysseus, twirling his hair and giggling: You showed that catfish who's boss. You're so hot. Please be my wife

(That's all you're getting on her. The Wife of all time will be getting her own headcanon post all to herself because she deserves it. I am doodling lil hearts around her face. *I am shot by Odysseus*)

This'll probably be my most unpopular one but yeah. Odysseus isn't the shortest of the Achaean kings. He's actually taller than average (great grandchild of Hermes genes and his mom is tall. Laertes is shorter.) and while shorter than the other kings. The title of the shortest goes to Diomedes. I love the thought of this absolute killing machine being the shortest in a "He's small? What can he do?" and then he just fucks everything and everyone up. He's a chihuahua. Small, full of rage, "loud of warcry", and always wanting to fight. >:)

That's all for now. Honestly, thank y'all so much for being so sweet. It really means so so much. I was kind of afraid I was too "fluffy and soft" to make content for the Odyssey fandom as while yes, they've all done monstrous actions and I definitely still plan to have them steal, lie, barter, fight, etc. I kept getting worried if I was just making shit too soft you know? Too fluffy. Too "romantic". I have him sneak into a garden and cut someone's flowers for his wife but would he even do that?? Is that too nice of him?

I wear my heart on my sleeve and in my writing, I'm the same way. :D Just how I am! And I'm having fun!

[appreciatingtokrev]

hey guys do y’all remrmber me ..... i am alive and doing well 👍👍

[mallowstep]

i hope you’re doing okay. 💙 it’s ok if you don’t answer this, i just wanted you to know folks are still thinking about you and wanting good things for you.

thank you babe (and thank you to everyone else who sent a message to this effect; i will answer them when i can)

i'm doing pretty well right now. i've been very busy at work, working on a top secret classified project (god only knows when you'll get more details than what i've already shared ;3), and also just. recovering from depression. there is so much of my life that even months out from the worst of it, i'm still trying to pull the pieces back together.

i have been writing a little. it's been difficult, mostly because of numerous incidents regarding writing and mental health (if you've been here for a while, you probably know about them; if you're new, the tldr is "mallowstep went off the wall for a bit and he's fine but it left him feeling bad"), and now i face down the summer which is...rough, mentally.

i don't know what normal looks like for me right now. i want to write but i don't know how it will fit into my life. i'm still making space for myself, in all the chaos and reconstruction. i know writing will be a part of normal for me. i just don't know where it fits yet.

it's been a while since i've felt like myself. the hollow feeling is abating. i am finding words to describe emotion again, that are more than just there or missing. i have been thinking about the stories i have yet to work on. what i want to tell next.

it has been an incredible two years for me. when i started this blog, i had just been broken up with by my boyfriend of three years, only a month or so after my childhood cat and dog had died one day apart. i was coping with so much impossible grief: i wrote the second chapter of i'll come back to you someday soon myself after my grandmother died, and i did not write anything after that for quite a while.

my wrists are healing. they hurt a little today and i'm not sure why, but they are healing.

i'll be going back to university as a natural resources major. i want a job that lets me protect and cultivate the forests i find so much comfort in. the complex webs of their ecosystems bring me so much delight. did you know trees talk to their daughters? did you know they care for their children? protect them?

it has been an incredible two years. i met my now-partner, learned how to actually trust people, and failed out of a year of college due to collapsing mental health. i went through approximately one million assessments to get a diagnosis and understand what was happening to me. i had a doctor tell me i was being undermedicated to an astounding degree. i had to let go of my beloved plants because i couldn't keep myself alive, much less then. i found a job i love so much i am eager to go to work every morning.

i honestly don't think i would've recognized who i am now, back when i started out here. i have become someone who trusts. who has connections with people. who does not fear so much. (i have also become someone who cries as i drive home from work sometimes. i have also become someone who needs to sit on the floor and count all the pieces of art i can see. we move in spirals, not straight lines.)

all of this is to say, i have been quiet on here for quite a while because i have been recovering from two years (a lifetime) of some truly exhausting events, as well as letting myself find things i enjoy. when i got out of high school, i loved what i was doing academically. i had very little passion. it had been bled out of me.

i am incredibly grateful to each and every one of you. your support, even in my period of dormancy, has meant so much. my relationship with writing sometimes feels like i am fighting my double, trying to balance both my need to use writing to understand myself, and my tendencies to ruin myself in the process.

i still don't have any promises to make, because i really don't know what's next for me. but i am still here, and you all still mean something to me.

with all my love, mallow

[kiisuuumii]

internal locus. purpose.

did you know that pluto just yesterday retrograded (as in, moved back) into capricorn, and that this will be the last time in our lifetimes that it will be?

i'm not well-versed in astrology, but from what i can recall, pluto is the planet of death, and rebirth. endings and new beginnings. overturning the deepest parts of us and bringing them to light. like preparing soil for a new planting season. upheaval. change. control. transformation.

the house you have capricorn in will be the area of your life where you will feel this transit the most, until it moves back into aquarius in october, i believe. for me, i have my mars in capricorn, at 27° (for the astrologers here), which sits in the fifth house, of creativity and self-expression, of all types, including love and affection.

the year pluto first moved into capricorn was back in 2008. and this pluto retrograde asks us to look back at the last sixteen years, to reflect on our respective pasts, what began and what ended, what lessons were learned. who we were and who we are.

you can imagine what lessons i'm currently having to revisit and reflect on, and on what changes have been made since i was young.

this isn't to say that i'm attributing my efforts to learn from my mistakes, and to learn to love who i am and the ways in which i express who that is, to the way a planet in the sky has moved through the past sixteen years. i crawled on my scraped and bruised and bleeding hands and knees to get here. because i didn't want to be the girl i was at twelve, or fifteen, or eighteen, or twenty-one. and i will crawl on forward just the same if i have to. because i still have so much to learn. even in all of this pain. especially in all of this pain.

i think these sudden bursts of emotion, and my subsequent rambles about my heartbreak, is me doing just that. crawling, if i have to, to the other side of all of this. because there is a life to be lived there. and there is a life to be lived in the meantime. and that life includes living, and feeling, and allowing, the pain of it all.

sometimes you need to fall apart. sometimes you need to burn. how a bone breaks and grows back stronger. how forests have to burn a little to flourish.

[cheemken]

It’s quite annoying to me how they treated Wallace in the Master’s Eight too. He is a champion, or at least champion level and is literally only used to flaunt how strong Ash is now. Most of the battle happens off screen!

Right??? Like I know a lot of peeps in this fandom just forgets that Wallace was ever a Champion and Steven will always be the default Hoenn Champion but like💀 it's stated again and again Wallace is a Champion, he's a strong trainer, even Steven in the manga thinks he couldn't live up to Wallace's legacy as Hoenn's Champion, if anything he's more deserving to be in the M8 than Alain

And god the fucking off screen battles I fucking hated how they handled Diantha's battle with Leon like the episode was just abt a kid who lost her pkmn and when Cyn and Ash got back Dia's on her last Mon like that's so shit man if they wanna make Leon strong let people see why he's strong, let people see him strategize too, let people see him struggle against another fucking Champion that got to the semi finals against him, cause honest to god the way they handled that fight looks like they gave Leon gameshark cheats💀

[pixeldotgamer]

It's been so fun to watch you and your art grow over the years!!! Been following you since early MCYT days, your art has improved so so much it's so cool

ANON!! 🥹 It's so crazy whenever the MCYT era lurkers toss me kind words cause like...at this point that's anywhere from 6 to 8 years following my work??

Thank you so much!! I've been really proud of the work I've been doing recently and this year in general has been great for me creatively. I've been moving into making bigger creative projects, actually telling stories, and it's just been so so fun!

I'm making games of course, but I've also been developing a horror podcast story which has been really gripping my headspace recently :)c

Anyway, a thank you to everyone who's hung out and enjoyed my work or supported me! Stuff is more sparse artwise since I'm working on these big projects, but I hope I make y'all proud with my work! 💪

[tariah23]

Yeah! The biggest threat to goiji is gojo himself. Not just because of his status and hang ups about being the strongest but because his powers make him so above it all he can't begin to comprehend where ijichi is coming from and he's so mean to him for it 😭😭 he starts out nicer in opposites attract because from the onset he already wants to interact and hang out with ijichi on purpose. otherwise in pretty much any other scenario he's just not considering him. It could even be backhanded if gojo extended literally any thought to him at all 😭😭😭

Exactly!!! I’ve talked sm about their whole THING for months and MONTH now with friends/ mutuals privately 😭…….. for Gojo, he’s just TOO stuck in his ways; absolutely stubborn. He’s also been sheltered to hell and has been raised to believe that he isn’t really a person ever since he was a child and so, it was probably always hard for him to actually BELIEVE that he could ever connect with anyone on a human level because he doesn’t see himself as one. He’s too far above them and feels that it’s useless to actually connect and build bridges with other people because they already don’t SEE, nor do they understand him, at least from his perspective.

It’s like he most likely unconsciously prejudges everyone around him, even his friends and students, because he’s already set himself up to never be truly part of their world on a personal level that’ll leave him vulnerable. He just exists in it and he won’t ever go any further than a silly joke, teasing them like hell to the point of bullying (Ijichi……), and hugs (because Gojo really does love to throw himself onto other people. Physical contact is fun for him and he’s already an extremely affectionate individual as is so it comes naturally for him. He also seems to do this on purpose because he’s tall as hell, annoying af, and ugly!!! He is aware of the fact that he gets on everyones nerves but when he does this, it really does show that he enjoys the company of those who he cares about even if his way of thinking might come off as backwards skkssksks.)

As for Ijichi, yeahssshs. In “Opposites Attract,” Gojo is the one who makes the first step but tbh, the story/characters themselves seem to be very much in character imo!!! I can see all of what’s happened in the story, especially between them, legit go down in canon IF JJK were a different story and that the themes revolving around Gojo’s trauma were more zeroed in on and I’m so serious.

The writer handles his feeling of loneliness and isolation so well and you can literally see how hard he tries to push back on Ijichi from getting closer to him in the story until it had gotten to a point where the both of them just became legit friends who were 100% comfortable around each other. They had built up a comfortable routine… they had their disagreements and confrontations and Gojo never apologizes for the awful things he said to Ijichi in the story but you can always tell that he’s at least sorry and that he will do better with dealing with Ijichi next time. I love seeing just how used to Gojo’s personality Ijichi becomes over the course of the story lol. That’s what close proximity and overexposure does to a mf!!! The development from Ijichi feeling awkward and uncomfortable around Gojo to Gojo swinging him around at the airport bro…… (that chapter was so fun whajajajl. Ijichi was going THROUGH it while Gojo, his new FRIEND who used to be bully his ass back in HS, was gone away on a mission and he missed him sm lol. Then I think that was the same chapter where he went out drinking with fellow auxiliary managers and how he had to defend Gojo from being badmouthed by one of them 😭… and Gojo heard about it and teased Ijichi by calling him his hero or so 😭… falling to me knees…….. )

It’s so well written and the way that the writer had dragged their relationship along for so long… It’s literally insane that they haven’t kissed or even so much as held hands yet lmfao. They’re probably still not even dating even after 100K words lmfaoooo. I’m behind on the last 5 chapters so idk if anything has happened YET but uhhh. Gojo FEELS like Gojo in the fic for sure!!! Same with Ijichi! I love how character driven the narrative has been! Gojo does have the tendency to surprise others, especially Ijichi, when he wants to. Like, he’s kind of shitty towards him and he doesn’t usually realize that he’s being dismissive and mean at all but he’s aware of the fact that Ijichi is a sensitive person who’s always nervous and wanting to do his best and please others as well and so he takes advantage of that people pleaser side of poor Ijichi lmfao.

I think the story handles their dynamic incredibly well and the progression from Ijichi being annoyed with Gojo being around to falling head over heels for him makes sm sense 😭!!! Gojo has the capacity to treat other people with respect and he’s not the monster he thinks he is. People actually DO care about him, not just because he’s strong 😭! I just love how Normal Ijichi is… and it has been brought up multiple times throughout the story as well. Of COURSE he’d feel insecure around someone like Gojo but Gojo, even in canon, doesn’t really give “shallow,” at all to me at least. He’s kind of ableist though and again, super dismissive of those who he views as weak, but it’s because of the way that he’d been raised and conditioned to view himself as a something not human. His views don’t steam from a place of malice at all. Also, because it’s his job to “protect,” the weak. That’s always been part of his whole mindset. Gojo is also a weirdo lakakakakl. Given a little time and patience, Even outside of all of the bullshit that comes with dealing with him because of his personality, I think that It’ll definitely come down to Gojo allowing himself to be vulnerable with others in order for something to shake. My guy is literally a thorny rose 😭!!! I hate him for that!!!

[colorfulstage-en]

I’d rather be haunted by Nene. Mafuyu and Toya haunt me any gacha I pull for. Pulling 100 pulls on a gacha I really want, “sorry you can’t get the banner cards but have 2 four stars of Mafuyu and Toya each though. “

Oh, I'm afraid I worded it wrong- Nene never comes home. In fact I had to spark her from the CG/O gacha. The entire 200 pulls I pulled off-banner cards.

Trust me, as happy as I was to see Kanade, Rui, and Haruka. All pretty high favorites of mine- I was pretty sad to have to spark Nene.

In fact I got curious and checked, my most four stars is KAITO.

Although to be fair, only 2 of them (Leo/Need and Kamikou Fest KAITO) were pulled off-banner. Otherwise I would say I'm haunted by Honami, as much as I love her, I pulled 3 of her cards (2 different, but I pulled her New Years card twice) during new years and no fes. I was honestly surprised to see Kanade and Haruka show up in my pulls at all considering I only had 1 4☆ of either of them before this.

Although truly I can't complain because I have a four star for every character and I am always happy to see them come home (albeit usually at the cost of not getting someone else)

[maphel-n-doodles]

i'm always telling my friends to raise their commissions by $5 or so, so when i saw the tags on ur post i was like "huh i wonder what his commission prices are" and oh man. i say this with so much gay artist affection in my heart: you could double those prices easily!!! INCLUDING bringing the percentages up from 25% to 50%!!!

i know u said u were terrified of raising the prices, and if you're anything like me (and you might not be! if so, sorry for assuming!) then it might be like, imposter syndrome type "what i make isn't worth that kinda money" or "why would anyone pay $30 for a left facing bust drawn by me? i sure wouldn't!" AND if that's the case, i do want to counterargue: YOU DID! YOU DO! YOUR ART IS WORTH THE MONEY! regardless how artists feel about their creations (and we are always are harshest critics) that is a skill you have put SO much time into developing! hours, days, YEARS of your life! not just halfassing it either, but you do studies too!!! you put EFFORT in!

i hope this ask isnt too presumptuous (sorry for being on anon but my main is super silly 😭) but. one artist to another. mwah mwah 💚i promise your art is worth the pay, i promise you not only deserve it, you've earned it (YOUR SKILLS! HONEY UR ANATOMY IS EXCELLENTTTTT! UR EXPRESSIONS TOO!) and if ur worried that people won't come, just do art that makes you happy until they do. people will come eventually and be willing to pay the prices you set! sometimes, higher prices even paradoxically encourage people bc the art seems more like...a special luxury for a patron of the arts 💅 a classy lovely special treat purchase for a customer of EXCELLENT taste.

anyway if this ask makes u uncomfortable u dont have to answer it of course! just know that im rooting for u and i think u deserve the best!!! 💚💚