#sorry anon I got really rambly

[admirableadmiranda]

Hello! I love your metas and fanfics very much!

Since you have a vast knowledge about the text, I have a question: Do you think there's a possibility that WWX knew/suspected that JC distracted the Wens for him all along?

I personally think it's a possibility bc WWX is very smart, and didn't he said something along the lines of 'how come he didn't see JC on the way back to Lotus Pier when he's the one running as fast as he can' ? Though it's also possible for WWX to think that JC went back but got careless halfway through, so he was caught and got a faster ride back. What do you think?

This concept is something I saw on a Chinese "characters watching the series" fanfic a while ago, but the more I thought about it, the more I like it bc it would be such a hard slap to JC's ego and it's very funny. Imagine for some reason JC's actions are revealed post-canon and everyone thought that WWX will feel shocked or something, but in reality WWX isn't even surprised lmao. Still, whether or not WWX knew about it won't affect his decision to transfer his core to JC anyway.

You can ignore this if you want.

Hello anon! Thank you very much for the kind compliment.

As to your question, I certainly think it’s possible that Wei Wuxian could have come to that conclusion later on; although in the moment I think he’s less focused on why Jiang Cheng left and more finding him as quickly as possible before something bad occurs.

I personally think that in the end, Wei Wuxian chose not to dwell on why Jiang Cheng left, for all he knew Jiang Cheng got ambushed by soldiers when he wasn’t looking, or saw them coming and went looking for a new place to hide before getting caught, or possibly decided to try and lure them off, or even was so caught up in his anger and grief that right after Wei Wuxian left, he got up on his own to go try and kill any Wens he could with his bare hands.

Wei Wuxian rarely tries to guess at other people’s internal lives once the moment has passed. He may offer some theories or possibilities, but he doesn’t really linger in what drove the choices. They have been made now and he has to live in the world that comes after the choices. Regardless of what Jiang Cheng’s intent was, the end result is he got captured, his core crushed and Wei Wuxian gave up his own core so that Jiang Cheng could live and cultivate again, knowing that he could survive what Jiang Cheng could not.

He may have wondered and even come to the correct conclusion, but in the end it doesn’t change the outcome, and it doesn’t really change that Jiang Cheng continues to treat him worse and worse over time. As he himself says in the book, “let the self judge right and wrong. Let gains and losses go uncommented on.” Jiang Cheng made a sacrifice for him, yes, but so did Wei Wuxian. And if their mutual responses were to never say anything, but in their actions acknowledge that these choices were made and their care for the person involved shown, then MDZS would be a much happier book.

The point of the core sacrifice on Jiang Cheng’s side isn’t really to redeem him or prove that he was the one who lost the most of the two of them, it’s just to show how dramatically he’s changed between seventeen and thirty five. Once he cared enough about Wei Wuxian to do something risky and distract the Wens so he wouldn’t be caught. The Jiang Cheng of the present day certainly wouldn’t do that, the Jiang Cheng of the past was offered that chance again when Wei Wuxian went to protect the Wen Remnants and flatly turned it down. He made a choice once that put Wei Wuxian first and refused to make it again after that. For him Wei Wuxian was not worth the possible prices of anything, but he always held that lost golden core close in his heart as a reason why Wei Wuxian should stay by his side and not inconvenience him anymore. Wei Wuxian owes him the loss of his golden core (never mind that Wei Wuxian got him a new, stronger one and Jiang Cheng knows this even before he knows it was Wei Wuxian’s core) and he won’t forget that nor accept the returning of the debt and that is the first and most fracturing death of their relationship, is the part where Jiang Cheng is returned that which he lost and more…and doesn’t let go of the initial loss and continues to hold a grudge about it.

That’s why he never says anything at the end, cause there’s no point. Wei Wuxian wouldn’t hear it as an “I loved you” and Jiang Cheng couldn’t say it to him that way any more. There is too much bad behind them, Jiang Cheng has done too many cruel things and he knows this. That’s why it’s a good ending for him that their relationship finally ends and that last little secret dies with it. All it does is necrotize a dead relationship and hurt both of them again. Whether or not Wei Wuxian could guess on Jiang Cheng’s thought process, how does that make up for everything that followed? What difference does it really make?

The problem with people wanting Wei Wuxian to know about this sacrifice is it still doesn’t change anything that came later. If Wei Wuxian knows that Jiang Cheng deliberately distracted the guards to save him, then he still would secretly give him his golden core under the illusion of a gift from an immortal, he’d still get thrown into the burial mounds and invent his Guidao, Jiang Cheng would still get bitter and angry about Wei Wuxian surpassing him in cultivation and power levels and would still refuse to help him with the Wens or stand with him in any way. The only real difference it would make is that Wei Wuxian would have more ways to be disappointed in Jiang Cheng because he has a more concrete point of Jiang Cheng actively getting worse and following in his mother’s footsteps.

If it were meant to make a difference to Jiang Cheng, then we would have seen it in story. There is a point as a teenager where he could change, he could put in the work and grow as a decent person. But he doesn’t. Instead of letting that debt go as with a new golden core, nothing more is owed, he keeps holding onto it and demanding that Wei Wuxian do more and more to pay it, a debt that Wei Wuxian has fulfilled. You can’t do that if you want people to like and trust you. You can’t exponentially increase interest on a paid debt to make up for everything that you do. You can’t ignore your half of the give and take of the world. You can’t only take and never give.

It might be pretty funny if that got revealed and Wei Wuxian’s response was to ignore it. Given the way the book ends I don’t think it would come from Jiang Cheng, but maybe if it were a jc stan who went into post canon to yell at WWX for being “so mean to his brother” and reveal that tidbit, WWX would just ignore her and move on with his life because it still doesn’t change anything else. But I do really like the way it ended where Jiang Cheng just lets it and Wei Wuxian go because he makes the second loving choice to Wei Wuxian on the page in his life and stops holding onto that which he cannot keep.

[utilitycaster]

if you're up to elaborating, i would love to hear more about your complicated feelings on Taliesin's reads of this campaign, because that's something that's been itching my brain but I'd been having a hard time pinpointing why and I'm interested to hear your thoughts!

So I think it's best summarized in part as a combination of what was said in this post I just reblogged and these tags from @kerosene-in-a-blender on this post:

#yeeeaaaahhhh#ngl it seems like the characters and parts of the cast got so caught up in the potential moral dilemma of interventionist gods#that they forgot the gods of exandria aren't particularly interventionist#critical role#critical role spoilers#cr spoilers

Ashton feels like they learned something about their own arrogance and assumptions with Shardgate...and then it just vanished. And the fact that Taliesin genuinely read that as what was supposed to happen when like 3-4 authority figures, some of whom (Allura) have existed since Campaign 1 as People To Listen To had said "This is a bad idea" in plain language does give me pause because like...with all due respect, I get why Ashton would do this anyway! But come on, man, how do you hear that and not go "oh maybe it's a bad idea."

I don't want to read in too much to cooldown and 4SD either but I really do just feel that like...some of the cast, and Taliesin isn't alone in this but definitely seems to be using it the most in-game, have come under the impression that the purpose of this campaign is specifically to upend everything we knew...but that idea is just an assumption that is not supported, and as I've said repeatedly, there is no situation in which the world is not drastically changed - there's going to be either a hostile alien invasion, or a friendly alien migration, but either one will be monumental within Exandrian history, and that's not counting the establishment of the Accord/the collapse of local institutions in both the Dwendalian Empire and Bassuras/ If one cannot see any possibility for vast change within the world other than killing/driving out the gods, I don't know how to address this nicely. This is an uncreative and stupid position that I can't engage with because it's so stupid. It's like saying World War II didn't change anything in our world because at the end of it the US and USSR both still existed largely intact. So the over-focus on only one means of change in a way that feels based on an interpretation of this campaign's purpose that isn't even stated anywhere is telling and deeply frustrating.

As the second post indicates, it feels like some of the cast, Taliesin especially, got caught up in a theological argument of divine intervention that personally I had a great time debating in Hebrew school when I was 13, but is not ultimately true in Exandria (or reality, for that matter). On some level it's like maybe read some Harold Kushner and you'll calm down; it feels like you're arguing against like, some very real religious tenets (that are not exclusively Christian for once) but in a story where that's not actually a problem.

I'd throw in that Bells Hells sit in this awkward place of not being nobodies (or Nobodies) anymore but many are still acting like it and Ashton is at the forefront. Indeed, look at the name "the Nobodies." The problem is that Ashton is a Somebody now. He's not like, the ruler of a city, or an ancient dragon, or a god. But they're someone who has the personal raw power and the connections to survive an ill-considered second shard absorption. They're someone who is easily going to survive a fall out of a window, and who can't be bound into service. They are someone who has been entrusted by the world to assist in saving it, and they're too fixated on the gods not personally saving them to consider the vast potential harm to others, and I think it's not inherently out of callousness but rather that they've rather abruptly risen from "orphan criminal who expected to be dead by 30" to "guy tasked to save the world" but they have no option but to rise to the occasion, as the Raven Queen said. To change the world, he must change himself, and I feel like Taliesin, who often enjoys the idea of characters who don't change, is perhaps too wed to that concept for this particular narrative. And, for what it's worth: I've said it before that my personal preference is to keep the gods in place...but I would genuinely be MILES happier with a party that decisively had decided to kill the gods. I would not agree with their decision, but anything is better than this indecision. And since Ashton is pretty staunchly in favor of killing the gods and the rest of the party is varying degrees of strongly against (Orym, Braius), weakly against (Chetney, Fearne, Imogen, increasingly Laudna) and unsure but worried specifically about the mortal impact (Dorian) at some point it's like. Either say "I don't like this, but this is the party's plan" or leave. The decisiveness matters on an individual level too; because Bells Hells does not have good internal methods of resolving conflict for reasons stated above and below, at some point it's like. You have to give it up because no one will make you. If Ashton genuinely cannot or will not yield on this, either commit to betraying the party (totally valid, could be a great story) or have them leave; if Ashton does trust the party, have them reluctantly give in. A party-wide choice must be made and fast. The party is aimless because they are all pulling in different directions and it all cancels out, but Ashton is definitely contributing extensively to that agonizing stasis.

I suppose I should wrap up with what I've been saying a lot but should probably go on this post which is that a lot of the flaws in this campaign are not any singular person's fault. I really do feel like they began with the fact that Matt was clearly building to this specific story, and Bells Hells were not a party terribly suited to it in the first place and then were given an earlier narrative that, because it was heavily on rails to get them to the solstice setpiece, failed to give them the tools to become people who would be prepared for this endgame. I think Matt really wanted the cast to make the decisions here, and did not have a specific decision in mind, and now they're all finding that they're playing characters who can't make that decision. It's a culmination of a lot of smaller out-of-game choices that have failed to gel into a coherent whole. When I say the Raven Queen was right, and if they are not ready for this, to go home, I don't think the party should be tpk-ed or anything, but yeah, if they can't decide what to do when they are essentially tasked with killing the BBEG and diffusing the universe-shattering bomb, they should abdicate. I don't think a story in which the heroes fail is a bad one. I know Call of the Netherdeep has been a touchstone in the fandom throughout this campaign and there's one possible ending to that that's sort of unsatisfying, but the unsatisfying nature itself makes it an interesting story to me. I think this campaign ending with the party saying "we can't do this" is vanishingly unlikely, and complaints aside I think they will probably make a decision now but it all feels exceedingly doylist - Bells Hells are the characters the cast happens to be playing for this climactic final moment so I guess they will play those characters, and those characters will have to make a choice so that the final moment happens, but it doesn't feel terribly organic.

[elitadream]

Going anon for this one because I was feeling embarrassed but I also gotta know-- How did you manage to leave the Mario fandom? You seemed really passionate about it, and your posts were some of the best I've seen and read. What made you able to stop and focus on other things? Asking because as a small writer I kinda wanna do the same but I fear losing the few followers I have, so I feel stuck.

Do you have any advice for me?

Hi. ☺️ Thanks for reaching out!

While I wouldn't say I entirely left the Mario fandom (as I still have a genuine fondness for the games and part of the lore), I did let go of it quite a bit as an artist and I appreciate that you sought my perspective on what is a rather complex and delicate issue. 🤲

Fanwork and involvement in itself can be really fun and quite harmless when done right, but there are three things that I believe should always be kept in mind when participating more actively:

1- You are not getting paid for what you do. A vast majority of creators online receive absolutely no compensation for their contribution, and those that do usually obtain it strictly through commissions. For the most part, it's hours of hard work spent creating and then sharing content for free. And while this isn't inherently problematic per say, it's important to never lose sight of what your efforts go into and in what way it benefits you (or not).

2- There are thousands upon thousands of communities out there, for nearly every subject imaginable. The one(s) you're currently focusing on may mean the world to you right now, but that could very well change tomorrow, or next year. My point being: it's nice to have a notable passion towards something, but I don't think we should let it reach a point where it takes up all the room and seeps into our every waking thought. Being open to discovering and learning about other things can be an eye-opening experience, and having different interests is very good for the mind.

3- Views and likes don't matter at the end of the day. They really, truly don't. They won't make a significant impact in your life nor bring anything substantial to the table. Essentially, it all circles back to why you're creating something and who you're making it for. Having followers can be very exciting and uplifting for sure... But it shouldn't be your sole motivation for staying in a fandom, because chances are this will make you very unhappy longterm. If you want to draw or write about something, please do it for yourself above all. It's the only lasting way you'll get a genuine sense of joy and gratification out of it, trust me.

As far as the online experience goes, I consider friends and enthusiastic exchanges about common interests to be THE ultimate purpose of any community. Not fanwork. Not the followers count. Only good vibes. And the greatest thing about this is, the close friends you make will stay with you no matter what you choose to focus on next, I can assure you that. 💫💙

[thegreatyin]

this nemesis ambition started out a little slow but I am getting closer to finding that bastard who killed my wife, and I’ll not rest a minute now that im far closer to on his trail

sorry got in character for a second

Anyways fun ambition so far very fucked up though

congratulations on joining the murder club anon!!!! depending on who you ask the name refers to either people who have murdered or people who have witnessed murder. usually both. actually extremely often both. it's a swell time you'll feel right at home (don't mind our collective skyglass knife collection in the back)

[lover-of-mine]

omggggg YES whether you look at eddie through a demi!gaze or just a queer!gaze, the difference between he and buck is sort of obvious? (to me)

it makes sense for them to say that bi!buck has been scattered throughout the show, we’ve seen and heard hints directed at/about several other male characters. so it’s logical it’s not entirely about eddie for him and therefore his bi!arc starts with someone else

eddie on the other hand hasn’t really had ‘moments’ with other male characters? a lot of his queer!spec comes from his history and the way he is with dating, but his main interactions with other male characters are the softer more domestic scenes with he and buck. 704 proved that eddie’s friendship with other men is completely different to how he is with buck. so in my head it’s logical that for him, it is about buck, and that’s where his queer!arc starts

Yeah, here's the thing, like Oliver pointed out, there are a lot of moments of Buck having flirty moments with men who are not Eddie in the show, even if it wasn't on purpose in the beginning, like, something Oliver was consciously told to portrait, Buck does have a bisexual energy to him from the get-go, and I think it is nice for him to be able to explore that outside the person we all know is the love of his life, yk? He needs to accept that he likes men before he accepts he loves Eddie. It's kinda like the way a lot of feeling realization fics from Buck's pov have Buck fine with the idea of wanting a family with Eddie but panicking when he realizes he wants to have sex with him, he needs to accept that, especially with the way he has a bad relationship with sex overall.

But, Eddie on the other hand, he doesn't have moments with men, he has moments with Buck, I think maybe if you push a little bit, you can say he was flirting with Judd in the crossover, but like, it's been Buck since the ridiculous sexual tension in the gym during under pressure. And, like, until the show tells me I'm wrong I will exist in my "Eddie is settled into his feelings because he thinks Buck can't feel the same" because you can absolutely make an argument for Eddie to be in the "it's not his fault he can't feel the same way about me" stage of falling with your "straight" best friend, I say straight because Eddie still doesn't know, I did write a whole thing on how you can recontextualize the show to make it seem like Eddie has been semi-aware of his feelings since the lawsuit, and I know they are probably not gonna go the route that he's been aware of his feelings (rip shooting as Eddie's oh moment you will always be true to me), but the groundwork for him to be like oh! about Buck at any point is there. And Eddie is a lot more aware of his own feelings than Buck, he wouldn't need someone to kiss him to have the realization, he can have the realization in a less on-the-nose moment. And the thing with the way they have been playing Eddie and his love interests, especially with the added context on Shannon we got last season, that they were friends first and all that, you can make a really strong argument for him to be demisexual and that's why he struggles with the idea of dating, that he feels like that's a performance, and why he has weird chemistry with the woman he pushed himself into dating since Shannon died, and that can absolutely push him towards Buck. Because here's the thing, with Buck dating men, and Eddie's relationship in crisis, he could very well look at Buck and be like "oh, I wasn't aware he was an option" because of the whole struggle with attraction and the way he has such a strong relationship with Buck, and maybe wonder about what it all means, and they can tumble into the realization that maybe they could be more together. That none of them has been secretly pining, but they have such a strong thing going that there's no reason for them not to go there. It could be this natural thing. And it's right there, even more with the comment of Eddie trying to understand his place in the world. Because for Eddie is not about Buck being a man, is about Buck being his best friend, and I think Eddie as a person would need to come to terms with that and he wouldn't get that hung up on the fact that Buck's a man. So Buck can absolutely be his queer awakening. But if Buck had the realization he has feelings for Eddie, he would get hung up on the fact that he is a man if he didn't explore his bisexuality before that.

I kinda think the route we are going here is Buck processing he likes man, Eddie processing he likes Buck, Buck being like "wait men are an option, Eddie is a man, I already have most of the things I'm looking for with Eddie, maybe we can go there" and then maybe some mutual pining before they do go there.

[zombie-an0n]

you're all messed up stitches and scars and rotting flesh green skin, gold badge, and a bullet in your head

TAOCCtober Day 2: Shell

[reblogs are appreciated!]

[ask-mark-stuff]

I once left 23+ asks in this box and I haven’t seen them all

Sorry kids! Me and Mark are a little busy with our lessons and activities sometimes, so we don't really get to answer everything quickly!

Yeah..we love every ask though! :}

[frownyalfred]

I read your fics and utterly drool over your writing. How did you get better at it, and do you have any advice?

Thank you anon, you're very kind! <3

Practice as much as you can. Read and write every day, if possible. Soak up content/ideas you love and practice it on your own. Too tired to write? Read some fic you enjoy.

Examine your instinctual reactions to writing. Ask yourself: what do I like about this fic? why don't I like this writing style? what is this author doing differently than me? is this something I could attempt?

Get feedback from other writers/readers. It helps if you ask them specific questions, such as "do you think there is a sense of urgency in this chapter?" or "how can I make it seem like they're both yearning when I only show one POV?" Take criticism gracefully, but also cumulatively -- are lots of people giving you the same feedback? Was this just one commenter?

Practice stream-of-consciousness writing if possible. Just sit down with an idea or challenge and let it flow. Don't overthink or double back to edit, just type. What happened? Did you like the result? Why or why not?

Remember that comparison is the theft of joy. I've said it before, but comparing your writing to others' will only make you sad or envious. Your writing style is YOURS, and that's what makes it beautiful! The only comparison you should be making is between past and present writing. And even then, you don't owe anyone improvement -- not even yourself.

[the-one-who-lambs]

Me: I don't know if my ideas are worth sharing, I'm losing engagement from my readerbase these past few months so I must be doing something wrong, I don't think I've really accomplished anything as a writer.

Some person in my AO3 comments hyped as FUCK for the Risen Lamb/Fallen God rewrite:

[kyouka-supremacy]

Funniest ask anyone has ever sent me so far. Will love to use this as a reaction picture thank you from the bottom of my heart

[dootznbootz]

Eh, have some Odyssey headcanons

This is nowhere NEAR all of them as I like "revealing" headcanons while writing. I'm also just a very "fluffy" person so heads up! :D

Mentioned it in a different post but Odysseus is very affectionate with his loved ones (overtly so. almost demanding in how he'll just kind of drape himself across you) Even as a kid he was like this. Often just hugging them and/or climbing up them to cuddle. It skyrockets with Penelope, as he was overwhelmed with emotions for her when they first met and that hasn't stopped. Lots of little kisses and nuzzles and cuddling. Almost always clinging to her in some way. He's strange about being touched with basically everyone else though. While he's still caring for his friends, you never know if he's fine with a hug or not. Often times he'll just give you a look of "Don't even think about it" mostly at poor Menelaus as I headcanon him as the most physically affectionate. Lots of slaps on the back and big hugs He's a little hot and cold like that

Adding to that, with Penelope, with said little kisses that he gives a lot of, he's fine with "losing" or "yielding" to her with everything but that. He's always trying to "have the last laugh" or you know, the last affection. He's perfectly fine admitting defeat to her with everything else but this. It's probably something he doesn't even realize that he does. He loves being doted on and pampered by her but also unconsciously thinks "you're getting smothered. As soon as you stop moving your hands through my hair. I'M gonna smother you" Get adored, Penelope. (●♡∀♡) I am living vicariously through these dummies.

Laertes always had a "green thumb" even before he left the palace to work in the fields. He always liked plants. If you know how J.R.R. Tolkein writes, basically nonstop about ferns and undergrowth and such, that's Laertes. If you go on a walk/hunt with him, he'll often just look at plants and be happy and likes to study them. He was very picky about how plants are arranged on the property. He's a bit more quiet and "gruff".

Odysseus definitely mostly takes after his mother in almost everything. Her humor and mischief, her looks, even learned to woodcarve from her. She and Penelope get along great and she's definitely the "life of the party". (it's MY headcanon and I can do what I want!!!) While Laertes loves his trees and plants, it's even better when he can share that knowledge and passion with his wife who creates something entirely new with that plant (aka wood). "That's walnut you know. Did you know it blahblahblahblah".

Ctimine actually takes a lot after Laertes but mostly in the "kind of quiet" way but she's the type to make one-liners that make everyone in the room laugh. (that she gets from her Mother. I actually want Laertes to be kind of awkward lol) It's a "she doesn't talk much but when she does. You should listen because she's fucking funny." She actually likes plants as well. (as a child she would find out what stuff tasted horrible and then dare Odysseus to eat it. And ofc he did it basically every time. "Eat a raw Olive, idiot. >:) " ) and probably was more into herbology and its uses. When Odysseus comes back, she and Laertes want to know every detail of the Lotus and the Moli Root.

Penelope has a sweet tooth! Also, I have her quite short despite being a Naiad as I have a headcanon that like a lot of fish, water nymphs grow to the size of the body of water they're in. Or in this specific case, BORN in. Penelope was born in a creek/stream🥲 Her mom dove into the nearest source of water and that was it. (kind of goes along with her duck myth) She also canonically says the most out-of-pocket shit (remember the sneeze of death???) she's a "weird girl". She has been "weird" since the beginning. Weird girls are hot as fuck, you cowards!

Penelope: One time, I fell asleep at the bottom of the river and I woke up to a catfish trying to eat my arm. Mom and I killed it and ate it afterward. Odysseus, twirling his hair and giggling: You showed that catfish who's boss. You're so hot. Please be my wife

(That's all you're getting on her. The Wife of all time will be getting her own headcanon post all to herself because she deserves it. I am doodling lil hearts around her face. *I am shot by Odysseus*)

This'll probably be my most unpopular one but yeah. Odysseus isn't the shortest of the Achaean kings. He's actually taller than average (great grandchild of Hermes genes and his mom is tall. Laertes is shorter.) and while shorter than the other kings. The title of the shortest goes to Diomedes. I love the thought of this absolute killing machine being the shortest in a "He's small? What can he do?" and then he just fucks everything and everyone up. He's a chihuahua. Small, full of rage, "loud of warcry", and always wanting to fight. >:)

That's all for now. Honestly, thank y'all so much for being so sweet. It really means so so much. I was kind of afraid I was too "fluffy and soft" to make content for the Odyssey fandom as while yes, they've all done monstrous actions and I definitely still plan to have them steal, lie, barter, fight, etc. I kept getting worried if I was just making shit too soft you know? Too fluffy. Too "romantic". I have him sneak into a garden and cut someone's flowers for his wife but would he even do that?? Is that too nice of him?

I wear my heart on my sleeve and in my writing, I'm the same way. :D Just how I am! And I'm having fun!

[todayisafridaynight]

would it be okay if u told me why u like aoki😭/gen😭😭😭😭BEEN TRYNA LIKE HIM FOR SO LONG I JUST CANTT but i love ur art so much so i still consume it otherwise lol

i liked tohru adachi in high school and tbh i think that alone is enough of an explanation for why i ended up liking aoki

[appreciatingtokrev]

hey guys do y’all remrmber me ..... i am alive and doing well 👍👍

[microwavetoaster-selfships]

hihi its me, the anon from ur other blog (yknow, the selfship questions one) and i'd like to kmow bout ur f/os,(u can gush nd stuff, idk)

and also, i'm curious as to how they look like cuz you said that theyre humanised! :>

Eeeekk!!! Screams!!! I love sharing how they look so this is...very good question for me. This is a bit of a...long list so I'm putting it under the cut, though I'm going to try and not type more than like three sentences or less for each of them so it's mostly just gonna be pictures. But I'm just showin my humanized ideas for how my primary F/Os look, but I do have humanized headcannons for...I kid you not everyone in the franchise.

!!!Not all the art here is mine!!! For the art that is not mine I will be writing their respective credentials and what social media platform it was originally posted on. I tried to stick to using my art as much as I could but I don't have a lot of digital drawings of them, nonetheless ones I'm ready to reveal to the world haha(though some I'll gladly share)

Some of them, to try and keep this to my main F/Os that I've been exploding over lately and to try and keep this from getting lengthy, I intentionally left out, ex. M.ater, L.eland, R.od, S.trip, C.hick, the- the rest of my F/O list, you get the point!😅

I also used this as an opportunity to mention what I headcannon their heights to be >:)

If anyone would like a version of just the images and without the descriptions 100% let me know, won't be a bother one bit!!!

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For L.ightning I imagine something like this:

By @/Laoian on Twitter. Except I picture him to have his hair closer to a shoulder-blade sort of length and him not quite as fit.

I'd imagine him around 5'6-5'7

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For F.ranceso(forgive me for the full-body one looking a little more messy/wonky, it's a lot older than the other one and is.. im quite nit picky about that drawing but its what I got. The other drawing is leaning towards a doodle/being really simplistic and quick) basically this:

Ignore the color picks and whatnot, that was before I was smart enough to put those on a seperate layer JDNSJSJSJS

I'd say he's like 6'ft.

I had also posted a drawing of F.rancesco quite recently as well, I just didn't put it here cause he's got his helmet on and it's a close-up shot so you can't really see how he looks too well(it's one of my proudest drawings though!)

Also, this and this

please. PLEASE I cannot stress this enough this is just. THATS HIM!!

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I'm pre-appologizing(/half joking) for not having any normal drawings of F.inn, I don't know how all my digital drawings(that are colored) of him ended up being incredibly self-indulgent, I didn't even realize I did that till now! So I'm just doing this one for now(though I recently posted the art of me and him snuggling a bit ago on my blog. I'm quite stinkin proud of that one too!! One of my proudest, i think)

F.inn :)

He's like 5'4, same height as me(Except I'm a liar and I'm really like 5'3 and a little bit).

I'm not good at drawing Grey in hair quite yet but. That. He's got salt and pepper hair(or whatverr you want to call it) except it's the Grey mixed in with. Whatever blue-ish haircolor that is that he's already got JSBDJAJDR.

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A.xlerod!!!

I actually don't have a lot of colored drawings of him, which surprised me a bit, but I do have a tonnn of doodles of him aufbsifnskffj

He has a big overcoat and stuff :) and his button up shirt thingy is supposed to have a plaid-like pattern but I have no clue how to draw plaid quite yet 😅

He's basically the same height as me though! His facial hair is just kinda whispy fuzz, if that makes any sense. Kind of like a kiwi.

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G.rem and A.cer together! Cause they're inseparable JFNDJSN

I adorrreeeEE this drawing of G.rem and A.cer, I take very much pride in this drawing I love sticking it in people's faces. G.rem on the left and A.cer on the right.

G.rem is like 5'6 and A.cer is 5'1.

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Annndd J.ackson!!

By Jeno0305 on Twitter (I don't know what the writing says in the first image. I'm assuming the drawing of the person he's with in the first image is the artists version of G.ale, his driver/hauler)

I headcannon him to be 6'ft and pale as hell cause he just sits in his room all day and plays videogames(which is also canonical)

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Anndddd that's all!! I'm trying not to hyper apologize for the length😅 when I spill the beans everything in the can comes out!! But really thank you for the ask, really was tons of fun to answer :) I appreciate it! Felt good to get to ramble and babble a bit!

If anyone somehow read through all of this then I'm sending you a life time supply of your favorite food

[mallowstep]

i hope you’re doing okay. 💙 it’s ok if you don’t answer this, i just wanted you to know folks are still thinking about you and wanting good things for you.

thank you babe (and thank you to everyone else who sent a message to this effect; i will answer them when i can)

i'm doing pretty well right now. i've been very busy at work, working on a top secret classified project (god only knows when you'll get more details than what i've already shared ;3), and also just. recovering from depression. there is so much of my life that even months out from the worst of it, i'm still trying to pull the pieces back together.

i have been writing a little. it's been difficult, mostly because of numerous incidents regarding writing and mental health (if you've been here for a while, you probably know about them; if you're new, the tldr is "mallowstep went off the wall for a bit and he's fine but it left him feeling bad"), and now i face down the summer which is...rough, mentally.

i don't know what normal looks like for me right now. i want to write but i don't know how it will fit into my life. i'm still making space for myself, in all the chaos and reconstruction. i know writing will be a part of normal for me. i just don't know where it fits yet.

it's been a while since i've felt like myself. the hollow feeling is abating. i am finding words to describe emotion again, that are more than just there or missing. i have been thinking about the stories i have yet to work on. what i want to tell next.

it has been an incredible two years for me. when i started this blog, i had just been broken up with by my boyfriend of three years, only a month or so after my childhood cat and dog had died one day apart. i was coping with so much impossible grief: i wrote the second chapter of i'll come back to you someday soon myself after my grandmother died, and i did not write anything after that for quite a while.

my wrists are healing. they hurt a little today and i'm not sure why, but they are healing.

i'll be going back to university as a natural resources major. i want a job that lets me protect and cultivate the forests i find so much comfort in. the complex webs of their ecosystems bring me so much delight. did you know trees talk to their daughters? did you know they care for their children? protect them?

it has been an incredible two years. i met my now-partner, learned how to actually trust people, and failed out of a year of college due to collapsing mental health. i went through approximately one million assessments to get a diagnosis and understand what was happening to me. i had a doctor tell me i was being undermedicated to an astounding degree. i had to let go of my beloved plants because i couldn't keep myself alive, much less then. i found a job i love so much i am eager to go to work every morning.

i honestly don't think i would've recognized who i am now, back when i started out here. i have become someone who trusts. who has connections with people. who does not fear so much. (i have also become someone who cries as i drive home from work sometimes. i have also become someone who needs to sit on the floor and count all the pieces of art i can see. we move in spirals, not straight lines.)

all of this is to say, i have been quiet on here for quite a while because i have been recovering from two years (a lifetime) of some truly exhausting events, as well as letting myself find things i enjoy. when i got out of high school, i loved what i was doing academically. i had very little passion. it had been bled out of me.

i am incredibly grateful to each and every one of you. your support, even in my period of dormancy, has meant so much. my relationship with writing sometimes feels like i am fighting my double, trying to balance both my need to use writing to understand myself, and my tendencies to ruin myself in the process.

i still don't have any promises to make, because i really don't know what's next for me. but i am still here, and you all still mean something to me.

with all my love, mallow

[kiisuuumii]

internal locus. purpose.

did you know that pluto just yesterday retrograded (as in, moved back) into capricorn, and that this will be the last time in our lifetimes that it will be?

i'm not well-versed in astrology, but from what i can recall, pluto is the planet of death, and rebirth. endings and new beginnings. overturning the deepest parts of us and bringing them to light. like preparing soil for a new planting season. upheaval. change. control. transformation.

the house you have capricorn in will be the area of your life where you will feel this transit the most, until it moves back into aquarius in october, i believe. for me, i have my mars in capricorn, at 27° (for the astrologers here), which sits in the fifth house, of creativity and self-expression, of all types, including love and affection.

the year pluto first moved into capricorn was back in 2008. and this pluto retrograde asks us to look back at the last sixteen years, to reflect on our respective pasts, what began and what ended, what lessons were learned. who we were and who we are.

you can imagine what lessons i'm currently having to revisit and reflect on, and on what changes have been made since i was young.

this isn't to say that i'm attributing my efforts to learn from my mistakes, and to learn to love who i am and the ways in which i express who that is, to the way a planet in the sky has moved through the past sixteen years. i crawled on my scraped and bruised and bleeding hands and knees to get here. because i didn't want to be the girl i was at twelve, or fifteen, or eighteen, or twenty-one. and i will crawl on forward just the same if i have to. because i still have so much to learn. even in all of this pain. especially in all of this pain.

i think these sudden bursts of emotion, and my subsequent rambles about my heartbreak, is me doing just that. crawling, if i have to, to the other side of all of this. because there is a life to be lived there. and there is a life to be lived in the meantime. and that life includes living, and feeling, and allowing, the pain of it all.

sometimes you need to fall apart. sometimes you need to burn. how a bone breaks and grows back stronger. how forests have to burn a little to flourish.