#sorry Jay fans

[rainbow-flavoured-skittles]

Hey Mom, Dead Mom

Chapter 1: I’m a bunch of broken pieces, it was you who made me whole

it is here! I know I said there would be a sneak peek but there was less editing to be done than I expected ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

the title is from the Beetlejuice musical’s song ‘Dead Mom’ because it just fits Cole so perfectly. the chapter titles are from that song as well. this one is pretty heavy, since it’s about Lilly dying and Cole being neglected. so tw for hospitals, terminal illness, child neglect, alcohol use, and major character death. this fic is not the happiest thing I’ve written. cross posted on ao3, everything is under the cut to be safe

~

Mom had been very sick lately. 

Cole looked up at his dad. “Is she gonna be okay?” He asked. Mom had just gone to the hospital again — she’d started coughing, and the ambulance had taken her when she collapsed. It was the second time this month it’d happened. 

Dad pursed his lips. “Yes, Cole,” he said. “She’ll be fine after some rest,”

“Can we see her?”

“Not right now, she’s sleeping. Maybe later,”

Cole tried not to frown. Mom had been doing that a lot lately — sleeping, going to the doctor, ending up in hospital. Both her and Dad said she was just sick, and that she’d be better soon, but it didn’t seem to be true. In fact, Cole was pretty sure she’d gotten worse. 

“Okay,” he finally responded. “I’m gonna go walk around,”

Dad nodded and went back to the newspaper.

The hospital was very cold and smelled like antiseptic. All the hallways were identical, and Cole got dizzy trying to navigate. The fluorescent lights seemed unnecessarily harsh. Cole hated everything about it. A couple people gave him strange looks as he passed by, but Cole couldn’t be bothered to care. He missed his mom. He hated this place and wanted to go home, wanted to go back to before this had happened. Before Mom had gotten sick and Dad had started being so distant.

One of the nurses stopped him when he tried to get on the lift. “Where are your parents?” She asked. 

Cole did his best to look the part of a kid who had just gotten lost, which was not wrong. “My dad’s waiting for Mom to wake up, and I’m looking for the washroom,” he said. 

The nurse gave him a pitying look. “Is your mom sick?” 

“Yes,”

“I’m very sorry about that,” she said. “But you can’t wander around on your own. I’ll help you get back to your dad,”

Cole did not respond.

“Where were you earlier?” The nurse looked at him. 

Cole shrugged. He didn’t really know where they had been waiting for Mom to wake up, just that it was on this floor. 

“Was it the waiting room?”

“Maybe,” Cole mumbled. 

The nurse sighed a little. “We’ll check there first,”

She grabbed Cole’s wrist and lead him to the waiting room, where sure enough, Cole’s dad was sitting and reading the papers. 

“He’s over there,” Cole pointed at his dad. “I can go now,”

“Alright then,” the nurse said. “Hope your mom gets better,” She patted him on the shoulder and walked off. 

Mildly annoyed that he’d been brought back to his father, Cole plopped down on the seat next to him. He swung his legs and hummed until his dad snapped and turned to him. “What is it, Cole?” He frowned.

“Will Mom be out soon?” Cole looked up at his dad. 

“No,” Dad said in a firm voice, like there was no room for argument. “The doctors will tell us when she can come home.”

“But when will that be?”

Dad sighed wearily. “I don’t know, Cole,”

Cole stared down at the floor. It was white, speckled with grey and red. Or maybe it was green. Those two colours were very similar. 

Either way, it was both easier to look at and more interesting than his dad’s frowning face. Maybe he could count the little flecks on it, though that seemed like a lot. And it wasn’t particularly fun.

Cole would ask if he could play with his dad’s phone, but Dad was in such a bad mood the that he didn’t want to try. Cole could understand why he wasn’t happy, though. He didn’t want Mom to be sick any more than Dad did.

All too soon and yet still not soon enough, they were told to leave. “I’m sorry, sir, but visiting hours are over. You’ll have to come back tomorrow,” the nurse had said as she shooed them out the door. Cole and his dad walked out and got into the car in silence. It was already dark out, and the streetlights were on. Cole counted them as they drove past — one, two, three, four…

Dad parked the car and they walked into the house. Cole didn’t dare talk, instead going upstairs to brush his teeth and go to bed. Dad probably wouldn’t have made dinner anyways. He was too busy and stressed for that. If Cole got hungry, he’d just eat some chips or something. 

Cole jumped onto the bed and turned off the lights. His yellow sunflower nightlight glowed in the corner, bathing the room in a dim light. He could hear Dad downstairs talking on the phone. It was pretty loud, but Cole closed his eyes and tried to sleep. 

~

The next morning brought rain and clouds, like even the weather was unhappy about Mom’s hospitalisation. Cole woke up well into the morning and dragged himself out of bed. He ate breakfast and went back upstairs, expecting to be alone in the house, but when he passed Dad’s office he could hear faint crying. 

Cole frowned. That was weird, there shouldn’t be anyone else in the house right now. 

Cole knocked on the door. “Dad?” He said.

The door swung open and Dad stepped out looking dishevelled and tired. He looked down at his son and sighed. “Hello, Cole,”

“What’s going on? Why are you sad?” The answer to the latter question was obvious — Moon was sick, after all, but Cole wanted to make sure. 

Dad put a hand to his forehead and gestured for Cole to come in. “Cole, son, we need to talk,”

That didn’t bode well. It was never good if an adult told you ‘we need to talk.’ It meant getting in trouble and screaming and lots of crying. “Talk about what?” Cole’s throat felt dry and scratchy. 

“Y— you know your mother is sick, right?” Dad said. 

A sense of cold dread crept up Cole’s spine. “Yeah?”

“She’s not getting better,” Dad said softly. Tears streamed down his face. “She’ll be staying at the hospital permanently now,”

Cole knew a lot of big words. ‘Permanently’ was one of them. It didn’t mean anything good in this situation. “She’s not coming home?”

Dad nodded his head grimly. “Yes, that’s right,”

“No!” Cole screamed. “Why can’t she stay?”

“She’s too sick to come back, and the hospital is able to take care of her,” Dad tried to explain, but Cole shut it out. Mom wasn’t coming home. She’d be stuck at the hospital forever. They’d never again go hiking or have picnics or read stories together, because she was sick and they couldn’t do anything about it. 

“It’s not fair,” Cole cried into his dad’s arms.

“It isn’t,” Dad hugged him tightly, but it wasn’t a happy hug. It was the kind of hug you give people when they’re sad and there’s nothing you can do.

~

Weeks passed and Mom got worse. The doctors hooked her up to a bunch of machines, ones that made beeping noises and scared Cole. She didn’t talk much, not anymore. Most of the time she just laid there and slept. Dad spent most of his time away from the house visiting Mom and crying. On the days that Cole was able to come along, he sat on the bed and read to Mom until they had to leave. She couldn’t always hear him, but on the days she was awake she’d listen to him and smile. There weren’t nearly enough of those days. 

Today was one of those days, thankfully. But it still wasn’t a good day. Cole had gotten into trouble at school — there was a bully hurting the other kids, and Cole had gotten so angry. He’d pushed the bully and they had gotten into a fight. It ended with both of them on the floor and bleeding, and the principal was yelling at them and Dad was so disappointed and now Cole was suspended for a week.

“Hi, honey,” Mom smiled. She opened her arms for a hug. 

“Mom!” Cole jumped onto the bed and hugged his mother. He wasn’t allowed to do that, but he didn’t care right now because Mom was awake and even though she was probably disappointed in him he just needed a hug. “I don’t want you to be sick anymore,”

“I know, Pumpkin,” Mom said, and how had Cole ever been embarrassed by that nickname? He’d give anything to hear Mom call him that more often now. “But we don’t always get what we want, do we?”

Mom pulled away from the hug and looked Cole in the eyes. “Your father said you got into trouble at school,”

Cole blinked back the tears from his eyes. “Yeah, but it wasn’t my fault!”

“What happened?”

“There’s this kid, and he’s always picking on the other kids, and—“

“And you got in a fight,” Mom finished for him. 

Cole didn’t make eye contact with his mom. He looked at the wall instead as he said, “I’m sorry, Mom. It won’t happen again, I promise. I’ll make you proud,”

“Oh, Cole,” Mom said, and Cole braced himself for the inevitable ‘I’m so disappointed,’ but it never came. “Don’t you see? I’m already proud of you,”

Mom took his hand. “I want you to promise me, Cole, that you will always stand up to those who are cruel and unjust. Always,” she hugged him as tightly as she could while being bed bound.

“I promise, Mom. Always,” Cole said as he hugged her back. That was a promise he intended to keep. 

~

Half a year went by before they got the news. Cole was at school when it happened — he hadn’t been able to say goodbye. Mom had flatlined. She was gone forever. Cole had known it was coming for months by then, had known their time was limited, but that didn’t stop the hurt. The funeral was in two weeks, two weeks to pull himself together and say his final goodbyes. It seemed like too short of a time.

Cole went home early, picked up by his dad. They were silent for the entire time, up until they reached home and Cole broke down. He sobbed into his dad’s arms until night fell, Dad crying along with him. They fell asleep on the couch that night.

Two weeks passed by in a blur, all the days blending together. Cole didn’t go to school for those weeks; he wouldn’t have been able to handle it. Dad let him help with some of the funeral preparations. It made Cole feel better to help, to show Mom he cared even if he hadn’t been there during her final moments. When Dad asked him what flowers they should have, he said sunflowers. Mom’s name may have been Lilly, but her favourite plant had always been sunflowers. “Because they’re all bright and cheerful, like you,” she used to say to Cole. Cole didn’t feel very cheerful these days. More miserable and depressed. 

On the day of the funeral, it was bright and sunny. Cole loathed that. How dare the weather be so happy when Mom was dead? She was the most amazing person in the realm, and now she was gone.

“— was an incredible person. She was a wife, a mother, a daughter. She touched the lives of everyone here, and it is a tragedy that she was taken so soon.” Someone was speaking up on the podium. The funeral officiant, giving a generic speech that didn’t show how caring and generous and simply wonderful Mom was.

Dad had already spoken. He’d talked about how he met Mom, how he loved her so much and missed her. There had been a few others who spoke, friends or distant relatives that Cole didn’t really know. They all offered their condolences and gave Cole hugs he didn’t want.

Dad squeezed his hand. Are you sure you don’t want to go? He seemed to be asking. Dad had asked Cole a week ago if he wanted to speak at the funeral. Cole had declined. He didn’t want to give a speech in front of people he’d never met before, and he couldn’t fit everything he wanted to say in a few minutes. Dad had seemed to understand, gave him a piece of paper and told him to write on that instead. They would leave the paper with the flowers. Cole thought it was much better than the speech. 

The officiant said it was time to say their goodbyes, but Cole didn’t hear. He just followed Dad and waited until their turn. He didn’t say anything, unlike the others who attended. Dad helped him put the flower and letter onto the casket.

 Cole watched as the line dwindled and everyone was done saying their final words. The casket was lowered into the ground. The hole was covered and then smoothed over. In less than an hour, Mom had been buried underground with all the dirt and bugs. There really was no more foolishly hoping this was a mistake. Mom was not coming back.

Cole spent the next few weeks out of school as well, staying at home in his room. Dad spent a lot of time at the gravesite and didn’t come home until night. They spent only dinners together, and those were dreary and lifeless. Mom’s death had left a gaping hole in their lives. Cole didn’t know how to fill it, as much as he wished he could. 

Jay called a few times asking if Cole needed a friend. Cole said no. Jay ended every call with a “you know where to find me if you need it.” Cole didn’t think he deserved Jay, honestly.

One evening Dad didn’t show up for dinner. He was always back by eight, always, but that day he wasn’t. Cole spent the entire night waiting and fell asleep at the table.

The next few days were exactly like that night. Dad went out before Cole was even awake and didn’t come back until after midnight. Every time he came back he was drunk and collapsed on the couch, leaving Cole to take care of himself. Cole hated that. Even during the worst parts of Mom’s illness, he hadn’t been completely alone. Now there was no one else to rely on. How was it possible that things had gotten worse?

When school started again Cole made a schedule. He’d spent almost an entire month away and needed to do a lot of catching up, so it was very tight. Wake up at six in the morning and eat breakfast. Walk to school because Dad can’t drive you anymore, and make sure to pack your own lunch. Once school is over walk back and do homework. Vacuum the house every Wednesday and do laundry twice a week. Dishes have to be done after every meal. Grocery shopping once a week on Sundays and dusting on Saturday. 

The schedule was broken one day when Dad came home early. Cole had just gotten home from school and was doing his homework when he heard the front door unlock. That was strange, he thought. Nobody was visiting today. Nobody ever visited.

“COLE!” Dad’s voice yelled, and he sounded ridiculously angry. Cole flinched and wondered if he should hide. “GET DOWN HERE NOW!”

No use hiding, then. Cole crept down the stairs and faced his dad. Dad’s face was red and blotchy, but he wasn’t swaying. That was good. He wasn’t drunk, hadn’t spent the entire night partying. 

“Do you care to explain why you haven’t been attending dance lessons?” Dad growled. 

Dance lessons? Cole hadn’t gone to those since before Mom’s death. “I didn’t realise I was supposed to,” he said. 

“You are a Brookstone. Dancing is in your blood. Why wouldn’t you have lessons?”

“I haven’t gone to them since Mom…”

Dad’s frown deepened. “You will be going to lessons from now on, five days a week.”

Cole didn’t have the energy to argue. “Okay,” he mumbled.

“Good. Have you done your homework?”

“I was doing it just now.”

“Alright, then. I have a meeting with the other Blacksmiths. You can take care of dinner?”

I’ve been taking care of everything for months! Cole wanted to scream. But he didn’t. He just nodded and stood there like the good son he was supposed to be. 

Dad nodded stiffly and went back out the door. At least he didn’t seem as angry now, though Cole would have to adjust the schedule. Maybe laundry once a week instead of twice, and vacuuming would have to be on Saturdays. He sighed and went to go find his notebook. This would be a pain to figure out.

~

School and dance lessons were hell. Cole’s classmates ignored him as always and the teachers hated him. The dance instructors were no better, yelling when he couldn’t get a move right and saying he wasn’t good enough. Dad spent slightly more time at home — Cole was pretty sure that the Royal Blacksmiths had pulled him out of the alcohol bottles. He still ignored Cole, though, and got angry when he brought home a bad grade.

“Why can’t you at least try? You used to get such good grades!” Dad had ranted one night. “You were so smart, what happened?”

Those rants always hurt so much. Cole was trying, he really was. It was just so hard when he was juggling school and dance lessons and talking care of the whole house and his grief for Mom.

Of course, the fights didn’t help either. Cole got into a lot of them nowadays, sometimes because a classmate threw the first punch or because they were being a bully. They always ended with at least one black eye and a lecture from Dad. Sometimes he got suspended, or threatened with expulsion.

Dad finally gave up on him when the school called and said he was ‘impertinent, unable to focus, and a delinquent.’ Cole didn’t know what half those words meant, but he got the basic idea: he was a problem. A mistake that needed to be corrected. A good for nothing mess of a human being. All that was confirmed when five words fell from his dad’s lips, five words that brought the little stability he had crashing down. 

“You’re going to boarding school.”

“Boarding school?” Cole repeated dully. The words didn’t make sense to him, couldn’t seem to form a proper sentence.

“Boarding school,” Dad confirmed. “Marty Oppenheimer’s School of Performing Arts, to be exact. They will help you with performing, obviously, and hopefully correct some… recent issues.”

“You want to send me to prison, basically,” Cole muttered. 

“Don’t take that tone with me, Cole. MOSPA is a wonderful opportunity. I went there, as well as your mother.”

“Is it because this school wants me gone?”

Dad tapped his cane sharply. “This was always the plan, Cole. As soon as you got to middle school we’d send you there. Things just got a little delayed.”

“What kind of prestigious school like that would take me?” Cole snarked.

“I was one of their best students,” Dad said. He got a dreamy look in his eyes. “They couldn’t say no to teaching the next generation of Brookstones, not when you could be the next big hit.”

“Do I get a choice in this?”

“No,” Dad said, and that sealed Cole’s fate. 

[ohgreat-moretapes]

Not sure if this would help you, but something that helps with my visual hallucinations is using my phone camera to check if something is real or not!

...

What does it mean when it makes them worse...?

-Tim

[lemon-t4rt]

redid my scratched work of jay wayy back from like 2023 to do her justice LMAO

old art crumbs i suppose lmao

[raebonnz]

forgor 2 post my jay doodles sry…

[poly-ninja]

my personal headcanon is that cole runs warm and jay runs cold, but both of those are like normal people levels of those temperatures and then there’s kai and zane who are freaks (affectionate). anyway they have a specific order of snuggling to prevent people from either overheating or freezing limbs off. it goes:

jay next to kai

kai next to zane

zane next to cole

kai and zane have to be touching each other to keep the room temperature at survivable levels. cole loves kai dearly but if he’s snuggled up with him all night everyone is losing the blanket bc he kicks it off. the one time jay tried to sleep in between zane and cole, even with cole’s body heat next to him, he was shivering all night. jay needs to be next to kai to keep feeling in his fingers and toes.

it took me thirty minutes to figure this out. it was a very scientific process. i had a whiteboard.

[hammerhead-jpg]

Coming out as a Will liker

[potatobugz]

ohh ohh flying buddies

[nyaskitten]

HUYG GUYS GUYAS GUSYS !!! NEW IMAGES FROM SEASON 3 ??? Im a bit concerned actually tho cus the detailing is VERY different from wildbrain ? and the nya model looks way off ? did they change animation studios or something ?????????????????????????????? god i fucking hope not maybe its test footage ??????? Very visually gorgeous tho...

[ivoreene]

late as usual, but happy 7th anniversary wha!!!!! love this series so much :]

tee hee

[sevcasejay1chicago]

We chose you- Matt, Kelly, Jay

Summary: You hear Erin Lindsey bad mouthing you in the bathroom at Molly’s. She opens up old wounds that only your boys can heal.

Warnings: cursing, mentions vomiting, diabetic

Authors note: Here it is my loves. This is a request from an anonymous friend. I hope you enjoy!

——————

Molly’s was packed. Stella was hosting her monthly karaoke night. The night was young, the drinks were cold, and the people were packed in the bar. You were sat at a back table with Jay, Will, Matt, Kelly, and Natalie. The music wasn’t the worst your group had heard, but that was the last thing on your mind. You and Will Halstead were up next. You had lost a bet to him earlier that day, so now you were stuck singing We Are Never Getting Back Together by T-Swift. Will won the bet, which got you on stage. The catch was that you got to pick the song.

When Stella loudly announced your song and called you and Will up, you practically had to be dragged away. You couldn’t believe that you had been talked into this. Hopefully the liquid courage would be enough.

About half way through the song, you realized that a very drunk Erin Lindsey with flirting with Kelly and Jay. Their attention was solely on her and, from the looks of it, they were not pushing her away. You felt anger rise in your chest, but locked eyes with Will and kept singing.

Once the song was over, you handed your mic to Will and stormed off into the bathroom. Reaching a stall, you immediately went in and sat down, grabbing toilet paper to blot the tears away in hopes of Matt not noticing that you had been crying. You figured Kelly and Jay wouldn’t notice, given that they were entertaining Erin.

Suddenly, you heard giggling as the door swung open. You huddled up with your feet above the view from under the door, hoping that nobody knew you were there.

“They could do so much better than her.” Erin slurred, giggling as Hailey Upton handed her a wet paper towel.

“Erin.” Hailey sighed, crossing her arms as she watched her drunk companion dab the paper towel on the back of her neck.

“What? She’s not as pretty as me. She has WAY more issues than me. I mean, I could hide my feelings for the most part. She’s just so whiny. I even feel bad for Matt.” Erin slurred, slapping the paper towel onto the counter and scoffing loudly. “They just pity her. Why have her when they could have me?” Erin asked as she walked out of the bathroom.

Hailey muttered something under her breath before she gave her reply, which got drown out by the music and then the door shutting behind her. You, however, were completely horrified. Deep down, you knew she was just talking shit. Right?

Pulling yourself together, you made your way back to your table and practically sat yourself in Matt’s lap as you eyed Kelly, Jay, Erin, and Hailey. You laid your head on his shoulder as you took a sip of his water.

“You okay baby?” Matt asked, lifting your hair from the back of your neck as he felt the heat coming from you.

“I don’t feel good. Can we go home?” You whispered in his ear before laying your head back onto his shoulder.

Matt rubbed your back and nodded. “Absolutely. Let me go collect the guys.” He replied, starting to stand and hand you off to Will to keep you company.

“Just leave them. Will can fill them in and Upton can bring them home.” You said, pouting at Matt. “I really don’t feel good and I wanna go home.” You whined, giving him your best puppy dog look, though you were literally getting nauseous by seeing the way Erin was all over them.

Matt eyed you and finally gave in with a nod to Will. “Alright baby. Come on. Let’s get you home.” Matt said, standing with you braced against his chest, kissing the top of your head.

After a short goodbye to the people at your table, Matt guided you through the crowded bar and out of the side door. He kept his hands on your waist and almost laughed when you breathed in a lungful of the cool night air. From there, he picked you up, bridal style, and carried you to Jay’s truck, easily depositing you into the front seat and buckling you in.

“Just tell me if you need me to pull over, ‘kay?” Matt told you, cupping your burning face in his palms.

“Kay.” You hummed closing your eyes and enjoying the coolness of his hands. You had to hold back a whine when he moved back and closed the door, missing the coolness of his hands and the comfort he brought you.

Matt drove home with your hand in his, making sure to be easy on his stops and turns. When he parked the truck, he looked over to notice that you were asleep with your head leaned against the back of the seat, your face toward him. Instead of waking you up, Matt quietly took you out of the car and carried you inside. He tried to gently undress you, but you woke with a start when the cool air hit your chest.

“Shhhh. I’m just changing your clothes baby.” Matt soothed, leaning over you to make eye contact. He could see the fear in your eyes until you recognized him. An old PD casing coming back to haunt you if Matt had to guess.

You breathed a sigh of relief and nodded, laying back again. “I’m good. I’m ‘Kay.” You slurred, still pretty drunk and very much half asleep.

Matt nodded. “Okay baby. I’m almost done and then we can go to bed.” Matt whispered, quickly changing you into one of his shirts before laying you against your pillow. “Need anything?��� Matt asked sweetly, tucking the blankets around your shoulders.

You thought back to Erin’s comment and quickly shook your head, almost regretting how much it hurt to do so. “‘M good. Go back n have fun.” You whispered, starting to turn over and go to sleep.

Matt chuckled and started taking off his clothes. “No ma’am. I’m staying here with you.” Matt said, tossing his clothes in the hamper, along with yours. “Let’s remove your makeup so that your eyes aren’t irritated in the morning.” Matt proposed, walking toward the bathroom for your makeup wipes.

You wiped silent tears from your face as the feeling of being a burden almost immediately tried to swallow you whole. You weren’t completely sure if he was doing this out of habit or obligation after hearing Erin’s comments. “You don’t have to.” You said, trying to make your voice sound strong.

Matt came back in the room, wipes in hand. “Baby.” Matt cooed, immediately coming to your side. “Shhh. It’s alright.” Matt shushed, taking you into his arms as you shook with a sob. “Baby. What’s wrong? You feel sick?” Matt asked, knowing throwing up was a major fear of yours. You did, so when you nodded, you weren’t exactly lying. “Need to go to the bathroom?” Matt asked with a hum, staying calm to hopefully promote the same feeling within you.

You shook your head. “Sleep.” You whispered, sniffing and pulling yourself together.

Matt nodded. “Okay hunny. Hang on.”

Your loving boyfriend then proceeded to wipe your face clean of makeup and tears. Holding the wipe to your nose to blow after the crying made you sniffly. Then he tucked you back into bed and kissed your forehead.

“I’ll be right back to cuddle sweetheart.” Matt promised. He was only gone for a few minutes before he returned with some water, meds for your hangover tomorrow morning, and a trash can. “Trash can will be on the nightstand if you wake up feeling sick.” Matt said, placing it on his side of the bed, which meant you would end up waking him if you got sick in the night.

Matt finally slid into bed, plugged in your phones and turned out the lights. You weren’t going to object when Matt immediately pulled you into his arms since he initiated the contact. Instead, you got comfortable and fell into a fitful sleep.

You barely stirred when Jay and Kelly stumbled in at 5 am, but you were immediately hit with the smell of alcohol when you woke a few hours later. Luckily, Matt was already up and cooking in the kitchen, so he didn’t hear when you made a mad dash for the bathroom and threw up everything you consumed the night before. Afterwards, you brushed your teeth and showered, needing to make sure that the smell of vomit didn’t linger and to calm your racing heart. You brushed again before going out to join Matt in the kitchen.

For the next several days, you dodged Kelly and Jay. Constantly making an excuse to not be in the same room as them. You even went to bed early every night and slept on Matt’s side of the bed to ensure that the other two wouldn’t touch you at night. Every time you saw the boys do something for the other or heard them talking to each other in a loving way, your heart twisted in sadness. They sound and look so happy when you aren’t bothering them. The thought made you physically sick, which led to more vomiting and skipping meals, claiming that you had a big lunch or ate a snack.

However, you failed to notice that the boys were in fact taking notice of your presence, or lack thereof. It was bothering them, but they weren’t going to push you. They knew that you had your moments when you needed to be left alone, so they did just that until they couldn’t anymore.

A week after the incident at Molly’s, the boys were setting up their Friday night date night. They figured, since you haven’t wanted to be around them, that you wouldn’t want to be around other people. They were just finishing setting up when you walked through the door. Everyone stopped and looked at you. You were frozen in place, pale as a ghost and trembling as you breathed erratically. Everyone stayed frozen for a moment until you threw your stuff on the counter and ran for the bathroom.

All three boys were hot on your heels. Matt got there first, pressing you against his side with one hand and keeping your ponytail back with the other as you bent at the waist over the toilet. You were still hyperventilating and shaking.

“Shhhhh. It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m here.” Matt shushed, lightly rubbing your right side. It seemed odd that he could feel your ribs after only a week of barely touching you.

Jay and Kelly were moving about the master bathroom, both getting things you normally liked when you were sick. Jay eventually came over with a wet wash cloth and laid it over the back of your neck while taking your temp with the forehead thermometer.

“No fever.” Jay announced, reaching up to rub your back. He startled slightly when you flinched. You have never flinched when any of the boys touched you, when your sober anyway. Jay and Matt made eye contact when it happened, but were quickly drawn back to you as you heaved loudly.

“I-hmmm. Just l-leave, Pl-hukk.” You tried to plead, being cut off by a gag.

“No way.” Kelly said, taking you by the hips. You were swaying slightly now, the hyperventilating, plus the heaving and you locking your legs was clearly causing you to lose your balance. “Kneel down baby.” Kelly coached, pushing your hips slightly down to lead you onto your knees.

“Mm-m.” You shook your head, moving closer to Matt. “G-go. Ju-out!” You tried to exclaim, but it ended in a whisper as you sagged into Matt’s arms.

“Woah!” Matt said, catching you and lowering you to the ground.

Kelly immediately took a towel down and pillowed your head with it. Jay knelt down to check your pulse as Matt helped Kelly pull you into the recovery position.

“Pulse is strong but tacky.” Jay announced, keeping a hold of your wrist.

“Y/n? Open your eyes.” Matt called, tilting your face upwards to open your airways more.

You didn’t respond. Kelly took out the blood pressure machine and handed Jay the glucose monitor. The exchange was done silently and the devices were used immediately. Jay gasped as your blood sugar came up on the small device.

“Holy shit. It’s 45!” Jay exclaimed, immediately diving for the bag and pulling out the glucagon and spraying it into your nose.

“BP is pretty high for her, which makes since with a blood sugar that low.” Kelly commented, standing to run to the kitchen and grab you some orange juice.

“Let’s take her to the living room. Can you grab the trash can just in case?” Matt asked Jay, shifting you into his arms as you began to stir. “Shhhhh. We gotcha.” Matt murmured as Jay nodded and grabbed the first aid kit and trash can, following Matt out into the living room.

Matt barely had you laid down when you woke up. Immediately, you attempted to get up, still feeling nauseous and kinda flighty. You felt like a caged animal needing to escape.

“Hey hey hey. No baby.” Matt exclaimed, pushing you back down. “You just passed out from low blood sugar. Kelly is getting you some juice I think.” Matt soothed, sitting down next to you.

“M fine.” You said, trying to push yourself up again.

“Bullshit.” Kelly said, walking into the room with Jay behind him.

“Fine my ass.” Jay muttered, ripping open one of your zofrans and giving it to you.

You took the Zofran and sipped on the orange juice that Kelly brought in. Everyone was staring at you, but you averted your gaze as you began to connect the dots on what just happened. You knew what was coming next.

“Alright. Spill. What’s been going on with you lately?” Jay asked, sitting on the coffee table and trying his best not to seem intimidating.

You shook your head. “Nothin.” You said, trying to sound normal.

“No. That’s not an answer.” Kelly said, coming to kneel next to you. “You’ve been avoiding us, mostly me and Jay, for a week now. What did we do?” Kelly asked, pleading with his eyes.

“You really wanna know??” You exclaimed, hands trembling from more than low blood sugar. “I’m just surprised you haven’t gone back to Erin. I’m sure she’s still in town.” You scoffed.

“What?” Kelly and Jay both said.

“At Molly’s, she was flirting with you and you were flirting back. Then you didn’t come home until 5 am.” You had tears streaming down your face. “Erin didn’t know I was crying in the bathroom when she told Hailey how much better she is than me and how sorry she feels for you guys for having a needy girlfriend.” You explained, hastily wiping the tears from your face.

“Baby, we-“ Jay started, but you shoved the orange juice into his hand and reached for the trash can instead.

Matt pulled your pony tail back again as Kelly reached over to steady the trash can. You were just panting heavily, but saliva was dripping into the trash can along with your tears. Luckily, the Zofran was completely dissolved under your tongue.

“Shhhhhh. Breathe baby. Slow down.” Matt soothed, rubbing your back. “Let it pass baby. Just breathe and let it pass. You’ve gotten yourself all worked up.” Matt whispered, letting you keep the trash can as long as you needed to, but hoping that this was just nausea from anxiety.

You nodded, spitting and letting Kelly take the trash can. You immediately turned into Matt and hid your face in his neck. You let yourself sob, having been pent up for too long. You missed this. You missed your boys.

“Baby. We chose you.” Jay said, placing a hand on your back. “She did try, but we chose you and Matt.”

“We would never chose her.” Kelly said, sitting down next to Matt. “We had our fun, but that was the past. You and Matt are our future.” Kelly explained, placing a hand on Matt’s thigh.

“And we love taking care of you. We love that you love us enough to trust us with anything.” Matt said, planting a kiss on the side of your head. “I knew they wouldn’t leave us because I know how much they love us. How much they love you.” Matt whispered.

Tag list:

@treehouse-mouse

@shadowmeadowsworld

@sorry-i-spaced

@zephyrmonkey

@allisonargent144

@amie134

@lane-rodgers-barnes

@pensfan5871

@dumb-fawkin-bitch

@marvel-and-chicago-fan

@daggersquadphantom

@mattangel11

@stellakiddsblog

@100yroldteenagers

@senjoritanana

[secretiveblue]

Happy together.

Tap on the image for better quality

[problematic-president]

Federalist gang!!!!!!!

[ohgreat-moretapes]

Crazy? I used to be crazy. They locked me in a room, a rubber room with rats- and rats. . . They make me crazy. . .

You sound like somebody I don't remember...

-Tim

(OOC: this is so OOC but @studentfilmyoulying and I have an inside joke headcanon that Jay has this as a vocal stim and accidentally pissed off Tim with it when they first met, so when I got this ask I IMMEDIATELY needed to draw this)

[rockhousejai]

Oh yeah that one AU

Ofc I got a remind people this is an angst AU so have this :)

[squib-2006]

So I’ve finally got some of my thoughts on the new season in order and letting my self sit on it for a while

Dragons rising season 2 spoilers!!!!!

So first off holy shit this season has managed to completely wipe out any fears I had for season two. I’m a generally anxious person and am pretty naturally pessimistic about most things and was pretty anxious about season 2 because from the stuff shown in trailers and promotional vids it looked like a “Lloyd chosen one” plot line and I have a history of hating that kinda thing because it’s been beaten to death in ninjago at this point. While a bit of that was there I found it was done quite tastefully and didn’t overwhelm everything else story wise.

I felt that the pacing of the first 6-7ish episodes was a bit all over the place. Having the training arc and the Cole-Zane plot lines happen in the same episode with the pov switching back in forth felt a little bit off to me.

Sora and arins character arcs are shaping up to be pretty good. Soras more confident in her self than season one and she’s trying to help Arin but I feel like the whole using her elemental power to help Arin will backfire into her face. Arin’s insecurity and the whole how can I be useful if I don’t have an element I fell is being handled way better than the dumb kai arc in season 11(dw I will get to that when I get to kai) and it’s about on par with the Lloyd powerless plot from hunted. I am really excited to see what they do next and if Arin will be really mad at sora or not cuz like he’s super nice and stuff and I fell like he would be sad instead of mad.

Nya didn’t really have a lot going on personally except the stuff with Jay which I’m iffy on because so much of Nyas character in older seasons revolved around Jay and I just hope they don’t go back to that and let her character breath a bit.

In the topic of Jay I really really REALLY hope he isn’t evil. That the idea because it’s really out of character and they are already pushing my buttons with the lost memory crap because that’s something that I’ve rarely seen done well at all and it makes me very nervous and I just don’t like it. I do like that Jay just seems to be a guy who hates his job tho that’s fun.

I think the writers are just having fun with Zane and I think that’s cool. I do wanna punch the administration guy who said Zane isn’t a person because he is and he’s a bean and I will not allow this nobody to slander him.

It was nice to see more of Cole this season. I swear him and geo are so cute. The hand holding and the fact that they basically adopted two kids together is amazing and I am fully on board for this ship.

The villans were really interesting. I hope they keep up the quality with them because the mystery of ras’ master and wtf happened with jordana is really exciting. Cinder was intresting and as someone who has no interest in men what so ever I am kinda baffled at why so many people want this man but hey you do you. I do wonder what happened to ash tho. The member of the forbidden five looks interesting too and part of me is hoping that the leaked “evil jay” minifig is actually this guy just powered up cuz the color palette is similar enough and I just don’t want an evil jay.

Wyldfyre is amazing her whole leg being broken then sneaking on the ship to the exasperation of kai (like he would totally have pulled something like this a few seasons ago the hypocrite <3) and the others was so good. I am curious about her talk with egalt she mentioned one of her family members getting the wasting sickness but it can’t be heat wave cuz he seems fine so maybe she had more than one dragon guardian??? I do hope that Kai’s portal abduction does affected going into part 2 and that she bonds with nya and the others over it.

Egalt and rontu were very interesting to me and I’m glad they didn’t go the route of them being the actual creators of spinjitzu and kept the lore consistent I was slightly worried about that. Hope they come back in part 2 too.

Bonzle was a big surprise for me. I likes her personality in season 1 but I didn’t expect her to be so important. She’s really sweet and the scene with wu was great too.

And finally last but definitely not least, the best character in this entire show and my favorite comfort character to beat the shit out of

KAI

IT WAS SO FREAKING GOOD. I LITERALLY HAVE NOT BEEN THIS HAPPY WITH AN EPISODE SINCE SEASON 4 EPISODE 7 THE FORGOTTEN ELEMENT (iykyk) I was literately kicking my feet like a little girl and crying and screaming my head off to the point I woke up other family members. Him unlocking the rising dragon technique by having his sister help and being in harmony with his family is so fucking sweet and I cried like a little bitch it was so good. I am also so happy that they used his old hair and didn’t just slap a smaller version of his current hair onto him (tho I kinda wish they had used the fucked up custom hair that was in the older episodes but I doubt that model is even in their hands so whatever(side side note I love the fucked up hair so much it’s so stupid I love it and will forever miss it)) him being such a dad to wyld fire was so sweet and then using the rising dragon technique after he saw his family in danger was just perfect. I do kinda wish there was more of a dramatic reaction to him getting yeeted by ras into the portal (kinda like any of the other ninja “deaths/major injuries”) but im fine with what we got. Except I kinda hate that only nya has an outward reaction in the aftermath. No lloyd reaction no Cole reaction and nothing from Zane and it makes me mad because every other time a ninja had their moment there was a whole team reaction. But I’m feeling like that’s to nitpicky and there’s still ten more episodes to fix that so fingers crossed. But kai also encouraging bonzle to close the portal even if he’s trapped inside is such a kai thing and hit me like a truck. Also him calling bonzle kid dispite her being much much older than him is funny and sweet cuz Kai’s big brother/father figure side is coming through and it’s so sweet. And the ninja never quit line is so great I was sobbing even more after that. (Tho I don’t know why he said he got it from Lloyd when it would have made more sense to have it be from master wu cuz that’s where he learned it but eh whatever).

While im really happy about kai finally getting some well deserved angst im also very anxious about it too. This could be the perfect opportunity for the writers to just conveniently forget about him for a while and idk if i could sit through that. Kai is a huge part of why I watch ninjago and he’s always been handed the shortest stick character development wise and technically he never got his own focus season either (and no i dont count the pilots because that focused mainly on all the ninja and was only two episodes, i also don’t count season four because it was more a group season, and season 11 doesn’t count because he got a half baked b plot that sucked) I’m very worried that I will loose enjoyment in the show because I dropped the show out of disappointment after season 11 because A LOT of premonitional material made it seem like a kai season and I got my hopes up and was let down so much. I’m very cautious when getting excited about things involving kai in particular because of that and I’m just hoping the writers don’t fuck it up.

Ok that’s enough negativity for once. I’m so excited for more and am foaming at the mouth for more!

[un-pearable]

happy valentines to my one true love (lego knuckles & his mech & his big rock)

“reference” aka look at him <3