#i haven’t drawn in months i’m so happy rn

[un-pearable]

happy valentines to my one true love (lego knuckles & his mech & his big rock)

“reference” aka look at him <3

[narrators-journal]

Hihi! Tatsuya x jun or Eikichi x Jun pls, w crossdressing pretty please? Thanks! And happy kinktober!

Okay, so ignore me using my art account to give myself a birthday gift, today. Just enjoy this lil attempt at some Kinktober Tatsujun! Inspired a bit by an ask I got earlier this year for them, and some art I’ve seen of these two floating around. Thank you to that asker for the inspiration, and thank you to the random artists who’ve drawn the suggestive and spicier-leaning artwork I’ve come across. Also, to the asker who wanted tatsujun smut, I hope this will either sate you, or encourage you!

Also, I will undoubtedly come back to edit this lil ditty later, but rn I’m too excited lol. If you want more, feel free to ask. This event’s open for requests until the end of the month, so you haven’t missed out or anything.

Kinktober promptlist: Here

Kinktober masterlist: Here

CW: Semi-public sex, teratophilia, a hint of breeding, and crossdressing. Also a bit of costumes as a result of the crossdressing.

“Um...J-Junbug, why are you dressed up like that…” Tatsuya Suou asked, his deep voice a low whisper directly into the smaller ravenette’s ear. The tall werewolf clearly flustered over something as simple as the thin red satin skirt of the vampire’s red riding hood costume. The material asway in the October night’s crisp air over Jun Kurosu’s thick thighs. “Because it’s Halloween, Tacchi, it’s no fun if you don’t dress up.” Was the vampire’s simple, gently pointed response, to the plainly dressed man. His needle-like fangs exposed in a coy grin as he tried not to look at his boyfriend while they strolled down the quieted down street. The many trick-or-treats having trickled off for home at this hour of the chilly October night. “Yeah, but that costume?” “Aww, what’s wrong?” Jun asked, an innocent smile tossed to the beautifully tanned brunette that trailed behind him, as if he had no clue how scandalous the thin, off-the-shoulder costume dress was. Especially for him to be in. “Does it make you jealous to know everyone can see so much of my skin?~” “No,” Was the answer, said with complete certainty, even as he continued, “I know you’d never let them touch you, but,”

Jun finally paused their walk to look at the tall man’s shameful expression until he continued, “I mean, y’know why. Right, junbug? Don’t make me say it.” Jun only able to give a coy smile before he grabbed Tatsuya’s hand to assure, “I do, honeysuckle, but don’t worry, I have just the fix for that issue.”

And, before the tall brunette could question him, Jun pulled him further down the street until he could yank him out of sight and into an alleyway that didn’t reek too badly of garbage. Once there, he let his lover go to slip a small tube of cheap lubricant from beneath the thin corset that was meant to support breasts Jun didn’t have to offer the small bottle to the werewolf. “Uh? Junbug? Are you seriously suggesting-” “Yep. Unless you want to walk alllll the way home for some privacy.” Jun pointed out, able to instantly see his lover weigh the options. His impatient lust and social anxiety at war in his warm brown eyes for a long moment. Until, finally, the allure of Jun’s skimpy Halloween costume and the lube won out.

And, once he took the small bottle, Jun set about shimmying out of the panties he’d put on to go with his costume. Much to the growled out frustration of the werewolf. “Panties?!” “Yeah, boxers offer too little support. I didn’t want my balls to slip out or something.” Jun giggled, his back to the brunette as he kicked the simple underwear aside. His cock already semi-hard, though whether that was from the risk, or the knowledge that Tatsuya was turned on by his costume, he couldn’t decide. “What’s the issue? Are girl’s underwear somehow a turn on for you? I figured you weren’t interested in anything to do with women.” He asked once he’d moved to lean against the wall. “Panties aren’t inherently female, they’re just underwear,” Tatsuya argued while he tugged his the button of his pants loose. “And even if they are. That doesn’t change the fact that...y’know...they show off an ass better than boxers do- Hey! Don’t laugh!” “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Jun cackled as the brunette glared at him, heat undoubtedly in his cheeks. “Let’s just get on with this, alright? Before someone walks by and catches us.”

With that, and a huff for good measure, Tatsuya just came over to the ravenette and flipped him over so that his back was to him and he could rest his hand on the curve of his back. “Fine, but you get to face the wall now.” He muttered, Jun’s giggle ignored as the brunette lifted up his red satin skirt and let a small stream of lubricant trickle onto one of Jun’s pale ass cheeks so that he could feel the dark-haired vampire shudder under his hand. The slow crawl of the thick liquid already enough to make the ravenette’s cock twitch against his belly.

Something that it did a second time when Tatsuya swiped his fingers over his skin to collect the lube and redirect it to prepare the ravenette’s hole and earn a small moan. Another moan earned when Tatsuya lowered his head to litter the back of the smaller vampire’s neck with gentle kisses, despite the slight quiver of lascivious excitement in the hand that rested on Jun’s back, and the eager breaths that brushed over his skin. “You don’t mind if I try to make this quick, do you?” The tall werewolf muttered against his lover’s spine, able to feel when Jun shook his head with nothing but a small, steadying breath as a response. So, with that small bit of consent, Tatsuya pushed himself into Jun until every inch was buried in him.

And, despite how often the two of them slept together, or how many times Jun helped the tall brunette with his heat, the way that Tatsuya’s girth stretched him so that no inch of him was left neglected made the vampire’s belly twist. Even before he began to thrust in earnest.

Though, when he did, the pace was quick and shallow. The man’s thick cock kept as deep as possible while he slammed into his prostate without mercy. The force of his thrusts still able to bounce and jostle Jun’s body. Which, in turn, brushed Tatsuya’s large canines across the nape of his throat for a fun dose of danger while the thin satin fabric of the scandalously short red skirt was kept captive beneath the hand that the brunette used to keep the ravenette on his feet and pressed against the brick wall. “God, if I didn’t- mm! -keep a calender, I’d ah!-assume you were in heat, honeysuckle.~” He did his best to chuckle. His breathless words interrupted with moans from the storm of desire in his chest. But, Tatsuya’s only reply in that moment was an animal-like snarl and a particularly harsh slam of his hips against his lover’s plump ass.

Not that Jun minded his silence, at all. So long as the brunette’s thick cock kept delicious contact with his prostate, the tall werewolf could go completely feral in the dark alleyway, and the vampire would let him. So long as he could continue to ride the ruthless waves of thunderous pleasure, Jun wouldn’t mind if his lover killed him in the heat of that moment.

In fact, the thought of Tatsuya’s powerful jaws locked around his throat while he continued to pound him against the wall made the costume-clad man clench down on the brunette’s girthy cock. Which, in turn, made the werewolf bare his fangs against the delicate skin of ‘little red riding hood’s’ throat as he gave a feral moan. So, for a few drunken moments, the two went back and forth like that. Moans swapped in the thick shadows of the litter-covered alleyway, the scent of sweat and lust mixed into the stubborn cloud of garbage smells. Which, was an odor that was sure to seep into the fabric of Jun’s thigh-length dress, maybe even the thin leather of the cheap corset around Jun’s waist, but the ravenette was too lost in the heated rush of friction, thrill, and love to care. Too caught up in how the tall brunette’s quick, shallow thrusts overwhelmed his senses without even a second given for Jun to feel empty.

Though, he wasn’t so lost in the cacophany of pleasurable sensations, that he couldn’t register when the tall werewolf finally found his words again. “With...with how good you feel, I might...go into rut regardless of the time.” Even if those words were little more than a feral growl puffed out against the exposed flesh of the ravenette vampire’s shoulder, and were punctuated by the plap, plap, plap of his hips against Jun’s ass, and the throb of his cock within the costumed man.

Do it. Please do. Go into rut, go insane, Tacchi. Jun thought, though the strength to vocalize the plea was ripped away in the swirling cyclone of emotions. All Jun could do was cling to the heat of Tatsuya’s body at his back, or the way the rough bricks bit into his skin. Utterly at the mercy of the needy throb of his own erection and the way his lover stretched him.

So, Jun simply melted against the wall to let Tatsuya thrust into him as he pleased. Let the clouds of euphoria build and swirl through his brain until all that he could think about was the increasingly feral drag of the werewolf’s cock against his walls and the puffs of the brunette’s warm breath against his skin. And, even those pleasures were soon swept away. Overtaken by waves of bliss that consumed him with each rapid thrust or twitch of Tatsuya’s cock.

Until, finally, the internal winds subsided, and Jun could feel the intoxicating warmth that sat heavily in his belly as well as the weight of the body that pressed into his back. “Well…” He muttered as he gulped down the alley’s nasty air, the brick wall a welcome support to help keep little red riding hood from collapse. “You need to be jealous more often, Honeysuckle.” “Wasn’t jealous…” Tatsuya responded, a barely strung together growl as he nuzzled into Jun’s neck and moved his hands from the man’s hips, to around his waist. Which, allowed the vampire to register that his lover’s wolf ears had slipped out at some point, undoubtedly with his tail too. Wonder when those manifested… “Aww, so you just like me in a dress that much?” The ravenette chuckled, only getting a weak nod in response. Unless, of course, you counted the restless flick of his ears, or final twitches of the brunette’s cock while it slowly softened inside him. “Well, if you liked it that much, maybe we should get home so I can show you the other options I had.~”

That got the brunette to lift his head enough to mumble into his bare shoulder, “You had other options?” “Oh yeah. At least four others.” Jun confirmed, a small smile on his lips as he heard the sound of Tatsuya’s tail as it wagged at his words.

[kofetalesnbpdchaos-leoreaper]

Self Taught, Time & Pace . Mental Health Too.

It has been 3 years since I finished off my freaking college Art courses…

Now I AM better at digital art albeit a dick! cuz I don’t wanna watch videos a lot to learn how to do shit properly…

I am far more capable of doing shit at a slow pace, I haven’t art’d in months, but Ballad the Sculptress for my Short Stories (Number 19), she 3rd baby who got drawn n finished. ;’) + posted haha! xD

I failed my GCSE Art, but like I just never gotten that C.

I barely made it, like scraping a Pass for my Level 3 Fine Art course…

Cuz my mental health & masking had fiiiinally broke it’s own ass out. It’s freaking bones shattered basicallys lol !

I have a huge burn out buttt… I’m so glad I am not rushing things n slowly doing art. And I went back into fucking writing too!! ^^

Again! Albeit fucking slowly doing things as well as my wild imagination won’t stfu with BRAND NEW ideas!! (>.<)

What I am saying is: fuck u ppl who think I’m doing fine or great, I am completely not oky!! I’m happy to least be alive n is driven by the desires to build up a studio like Marvel & DC with like … multiple lil children of mines cuz I get new character ideas lmao . (I haves 300+ oky? :3)

What I think is the dopest shit, is the fact that Dreamified Studio just been around since 2018. Her idea of what she is n shit like that. I have papers filled with writings. Now I hope for 2023, I get to do a lot more writing, dive into some erotic art (hehehe x3) & kick ass like a fucking boss!! 😎🤓🤧 Also use a damn cork board n coloured threads to make sense of shit becuz rn it is chaos. 💀

— Lena Eclipse Reaper; Leo Reaper.

[cookinguptales]

Love living out here in the forest, hate having to drive two hours every time I need to have blood drawn lmao.

Today we have to drive to the nearest town with a LabCorp because I need a lot of bloodwork done, which means I have to go on a long car ride without any food or electrolyte tablets (my love) in my system for about 12 hours. I have a whole host of chronic illnesses, so lbr, this is gonna fuck me up. Good chance I’ll be very iffy the next couple days. If you really need me, send me a chat or an ask so it doesn’t get lost in my notifications and I’ll get back to you when I can! I promise.

I say this because next week I am going to be even more iffy so just in case I don’t feel up to talking before then, I’m not dead! I’m just gonna be hooked up to an IV for several days lmao.

[cut for personal stuff]

I haven’t been talking about it really in-depth because frankly, I doubt people really want to hear the gory details of my personal life but like. Things have been pretty bad for the past eight months or so. Health-wise. I mean, they’re always pretty bad, but things have been... worse. I always joke about oh, I can’t see today, oh I can’t keep food down, oh my body sounds crazy today but like. Honestly speaking, it’s been really hard. My work has suffered, my writing has suffered, my mental health has suffered. The brain fog has been absolutely unreal. I can’t tell you how frustrated I’ve been with these stories in my brain that I can’t seem to draw out. I want to show you them so badly and I’m running out of time... Sigh.

I digress. I was in the process of getting signed up for ketamine treatments before the pandemic hit and I’ve finally gotten an appointment to get started next week. Again, I don’t really talk about it much in detail but like. Yeah, I’ve had MDD since I was in elementary school and there have been some very dangerous periods in my life. It’s extremely treatment resistant and if we’re being entirely honest, dark thoughts are just kind of the cosmic background radiation of my life and have been since I was too young to even understand what I was thinking about. It’s been even harder to push through lately, but ketamine has been shown to help in a lot of SSRI-resistant situations... idk. They say it should also help with the pain, but I guess we’ll see. I’ve sure heard that before.

(At least if no one else is having a good time, I’ve sure given some doctors a puzzle they enjoy...)

I’m kind of scared, honestly. It’s a daunting set of (somewhat experimental) procedures anyway, but also like... I’m scared that it won’t work and this will just be my brain forever? But I’m also scared that it will and I’m going to have to figure out how I’m going to afford this going forward. It’s not covered by my insurance. 🙃 So my brain’s kind of all over the place, but some of that is also that I’m hungry and dizzy as hell but I won’t get to eat or consume salt for another *checks watch* 4-5 hours. ;;

(Why yes, I’m sure I do sound very scattered rn. Don’t worry, I’m not the one driving. lmao)

idk, just trying to keep my head up. We have to drive all the way down to freaking San Francisco next week and I’m not looking forward to THAT drive, but I’m hoping I have the energy to do some grocery shopping down there. Again, love the forest. Hate the food selection out here in the middle of absolute nowhere. lmao

I do not know how the ketamine is going to affect me just like, frankly speaking, I usually don’t know how fucking any medication is going to affect my weird-ass body. I could be fine and happy as a clam posting about vampires next week! But I could also be out like a damn light and totally uncontactable. So heads up either way.

OH BUT SILVER LINING the doctor did say I’m allowed to take my motion sickness pills before we drive down today, and if you’ve ever been on the roads up in the far northern part of California, you will know why I about cried with relief lmao.

[nomattertheoceans]

feysand + “you know that your book is upside-down, right?”

Sooooo this has literally zero editing because I got inspired past midnight and now it's already near half past one and I just wrote for an hour instead of sleeping and I really want to publish it tonight before I sleep and wake up and think what I wrote is awful 😂 so I hope you enjoy it 😘😘😘

Also I'm sorry but I'm on mobile rn and I do t have the "under the cut" option

September

Feyre didn't really like the college library.

Well, that wasn't true. She liked her part of the library. She liked browsing through the countless books and academic papers about paintings from the sixteenth century. She loved the little booths were you could install your computer and still  have space to put down books and papers. And most of all, she loved that one booth in the far left corner, with a window with a view on the small patio in front of her.

She really liked the library, and the books, and the patio. What she didn't like was the view at the other side of the patio.

Because the library on the other side was the language section, and people there always seemed to work in group, and loudly. She couldn't even hear them, but still, it annoyed her to see them move around and laugh when she was trying to focus.

But she really liked her little booth on the far left corner, and she didn't want to give it up, so she kept working there even with the people on the other side of the patio.

October

God, that essay was going to kill her.

Sighing loudly, Feyre sat back on her chair and closed her eyes for a second. Just a second. Or maybe it had been a minute. Or more.

She didn't know how long she'd spent with her eyes closed, but when she opened them, she found a guy smirking at her from the other side of the patio.

She would have frowned, annoyed once again by what she saw there, except her brain didn't register her annoyance. Because that guy was gorgeous.

Short black hair sticking out on his head as if he'd passed his hand in it one too many times, broad shoulders and a strong built, and brown skin that contrasted with striking blue eyes. Eyes she could have lost herself in forever if she let it happen.

But he was still smirking, and it was getting on her nerves. So she crossed her arms on her chest and raised an eyebrow at him, hoping to make him look away. His smile only got bigger.

She saw him look down to grab a pen and paper, and she thought he'd moved  on from her when he looked back up and splayed the paper against his window.

You know your book is upside down, right?

She stared at the words for way too long, and finally looked down to her desk, realizing the book she'd pulled up against the window was indeed upside down. She'd been studying a detail in a painting and had needed to see it that way.

She grabbed a pen and started writing a very lengthy explanation about her thought process, but stopped herself midway. Why was she justifying herself to him? She didn't know him and didn't care what he thought about her. So she grabbed another paper and wrote quickly before putting it on the window.

I do. You know libraries are meant to study, right?

She saw him laugh, and he answered almost immediately.

It's hard to study with such a captivating view in front of me.

She stared at his answer, unable to think of what to say next. Was he talking about her? She was wearing an old grey sweatshirt and her hair was held up in a bun.  She wasn't even wearing makeup. Or maybe he was mocking her. 'Captivating' wasn't necessarily a compliment after all.

After a long minute of internal debate, she decided on ignoring him, and went back to her book. She really needed to finish that essay.

November

The stranger was back at the library most days, but he was alone. In the section where most people were working in groups. And she'd caught him throwing quick glances at her a few times, when he thought she wasn't looking. She should've been annoyed, but if she was being honest, she too found herself looking out the window more than usual when he was sitting there.

There hadn't been any more notes between them, but his comment about finding her captivating had stuck with her, and sometimes, she found herself mindlessly arranging her hair or changing her posture slightly when she knew he was over there.

Not today though.

Because today was the last day before her midterms, and she was late in her studies, and she couldn't have cared less if he was looking at her or not. She hadn't washed her hair in a week, and she was actually wearing a ridiculous onesie her roommate had gotten her as a goofy present and she had sworn never to wear outside of her bedroom.

Oh well.

She was lost in a commentary on female painters in France in 1748 when a movement across the patio caught her eyes.

Nice overalls

She rolled her eyes and grabbed something to write.

They're unicorn onesies

He laughed.

Way more sophisticated, you're right. I should've known better

She answered in under fifteen seconds.

Less than 24h before exam, no time to argue with you

And she went back to her book. 

When she looked back up a moment later, she saw that he was gone. But he'd stuck a paper on the glass. 

Good luck

December

They started talking more after that day. Well, talking was a bit of an exaggeration to describe what they were doing. Sticking papers on windows wasn't exactly what she would have called a normal conversation.

He was always the one starting it, and she felt grateful for it. Because for all that she loved writing back, she didn't think she would be able to grab the pen first.

The snow had started to fall over the weekend, and it was covering the patio between them. The night had fallen already, even though it was only 5 p.m., and the only lights were the ones from their respective sides of the library. They hadn't talked that day, he was focused on the screen of his computer, visibly absorbed in his work.

Normally, Feyre wouldn't have written anything. They didn't speak everytime, and she was okay with it. But today was special. She really wanted to talk to him today.

What are you working on?

She waited for him to see the paper for a long minute until finally he lifted his eyes to her and she saw him taking in her words.

Economy final essay due tomorrow morning. Still haven't started it

She let out a startled laugh.

Aren't you a bit late?

He smiled at her.

Not my first time winging it!

And then he wrote on a second paper, before she had time to answer.

What about you? Thought you'd already finished everything

She had. Three days earlier. And she hadn't wanted him to remember that. But of course he had, and now she had to tell him why she'd come.

Didn't feel like being alone tonight

A small frown on his forehead.

Oh?

It's my birthday today

And because he just stared at her with a small smile and a puzzled look, she took back her paper and added:

My roommate's out of town and I had nothing waiting for me at home.  Hoped you'd be here

He smiled, a genuine one this time, and she felt a feeling of joy spread through her body at the sight.

Happy birthday then

And then,

Do you want me to come over to your side?

She felt her throat tighten. It had always been a silent rule between them. They stayed on their side, they didn't meet. She didn't even know his name. And now she was conflicted, because she really really wanted him to hug her. But…

Their little conversation felt like a dream, a small bubble of calm in the constant storm that was her life. And if he came over to her side, the bubble wouldn't hold. She didn't want that. Not yet.

It's fine, thanks

January

She arrived at her booth one Thursday to find a package waiting for her, with a note pinned on it. She knew the handwriting well by now.

Sorry I came over to your side, but I found this over the holidays and thought of you.

She sat down and looked over, but he wasn't there. Was it on purpose? Maybe he didn't want to see her reaction. She gingerly grabbed the box and opened it, to find a present that made her chuckle. It was a blue sweater with a unicorn drawn at the front.

She felt heat creep up her cheeks. He'd thought of her. Outside of their conversation, he was thinking of her.

Just like she was thinking of him, almost every night. Of his gorgeous smile and the way he'd pass his hand through his hair when he tried to focus, and the fact that he loved to go to the cinema and had written her reviews about his favorite movie so long that she'd struggled to read it through the glass.

She thought of him often, and now he knew that he did too, and he'd given her this amazing thoughtful present and she couldn't even say thank you.

She toyed with the idea of going to his side and leave a word. But she wasn't ready for that. So she decided she'd wear the sweater the next time she'd see him.

February

I'd like to hear your laugh

The note came without warning, one cold winter morning of February. He'd told her about some embarrassing thing that had happened in his class that morning, and she'd laughed.  And then he'd written this, and now it had been a long minute and she still hadn't answered.

He looked back down and added something.

In my head it's the most beautiful sound I can imagine. I'd like to hear it for real

She felt herself blushing. Because she too had started to imagine his voice, like a low rumble, vibrating with intensity, but soft and warm at the same time. And she wanted to hear it.

So she gathered her things, got up, and without a look at him, walked away.

Rhysand

She'd walked away.

For months, he's been longing for the weird kind of conversation they'd established, loving the moments when they talked and cherishing every stolen glance in her direction.

That beautiful girl, with long, brown, messy hair, and a unicorn onesie. The girl with clear eyes that seemed to be blue, and freckles on her nose.

He'd loved their moments together, and he'd wanted more, but he felt that she didn't want more. For whatever reason he'd never dared to ask, she wanted to keep their relationship as it was.

But today she'd been so pretty in her red winter dress and he'd cheeks flushed by the cold, he hadn't resisted telling her how he truly felt.

And now she was gone.

He buried his head in his arms on the table, and let his mind wonder. God, he could kick himself for being so stupid and ruin everything. He'd known she was shy and yet he'd pushed and -

"I really don't know how you can work on this place, it's so noisy," a feminine voice interrupted his thought, and his head shot up. He looked to his left, and there she was, standing in front of him, her bag on her shoulder, her hair as messy as usual, a smile on her lips. Not believing his eyes, he got up, and found himself towering over her.

Her eyes were grey, not blue. And she had more freckles than he'd realized.

"I… I can't focus when there's no noise around." His voice came out a mere whisper and he mentally slapped himself. One chance to make a good first impression and he was ruining it.

But she was still smiling.

"I'm Feyre."

"Rhysand."

They both stayed silent for a moment, staring into each other's eyes as if they were seeing each other for the first time. Then Feyre talked again.

"So, Rhysand. Should we grab a coffee?"

Send me prompts!!!

[ribbithe8]

ok i’m just rambling at this point now bc i don’t want to catch up on work EVEN THOUGH I REALLY FUCKING NEED TO but ugh i know it’s only been like... what, a week? less? that i’ve gotten sucked into svt hardcore but seriously they make me so happy and i’m obsessed rn... yeah maybe it might be my routine adhd hyperfixating at it again but if i’m at the point i’m saving pictures of minghao to my phone and actually CHANGING my phone background (which hasn’t been kpop since at least 2013) that’s significant. also they have sooo many songs and so many of them are so good, and i don’t move on from music that easily/quickly as opposed to visual things. ugh i’m just like... seventeen brain worms right now. i think about minghao and i’m like sir that’s my emotional support kpop boy..... 

a couple weeks ago when christina first hit me up with the ‘so i may have gotten into seventeen’ message i was like LOL ok my biases are a tossup between joshua, jeonghan, wonwoo, and minghao and then during the in-complete concert i was like HMMM wonwoo? joshua? minghao? and still like two-three days ago when michelle added me to her svt discord server i was like uhhh am i a wonwoo or minghao stan. BUT NOW I’M LIKE.... NO QUESTION.... IT’S MINGHAO... I AM OBSESSED. i haven’t really watched enough minghao exclusive videos but i watched a bunch of junhao interactions and some of their chinese stuff and he’s like.... rather avant-garde with his approach to fashion (like a lot of his clothes i’m just like dude. why. oh my god what is with you and your glasses what the fuck are you wearing during the concert rn) and some dance/art, and really not what i go for ever (usually i immediately go for a visual or a memey member) but his resting bitch face/judgmental auntie/bitch vibe in contrast with his super cute squishy/frog grin draws me in so much LOL. like at first i saw that ‘YES! SHE IS A BITCH!’ post i reblogged last month and was like hmmmm............. reevaluating...... i see the appeal.... BUT THEN. I SAW THE WEVERSE BOYFRIEND IN BED SELFIES AND WAS LIKE................................................ SPEECHLESS.... 🚶‍♂️ WALKING AWAY....... MANY THOUGHTS...... HEAD FULL......... like “i don’t like the way these photos are making me feel, he is objectively not hot here and i’ll look incredibly straight to my friends and i will not voice my feelings lest i admit i think i have a thing for him” .... but to no avail as i so very quickly have fallen down the rabbit hole... 

also i first decided to look into svt’s chinese stuff since that doesn’t require me to be looking at the subs 100% and it helps me practice my chinese but the junhao countryside farming/cooking segment was so fun to watch he just kept climbing up i guess... he’s like a kinda judgy but loving mom and he does some silly things (tomato with a toupee...), super health-conscious, has a sharp/witty tongue, calling jun ugly in the same breath as calling him handsome, telling a fan ‘it’s because your hair’s bleached!’--oh wait i think this reminds me of kyuhyun a little actually... i guess with male idols i am drawn to the snarky kinda members. he’s also considerate though and gives thoughtful advice to people, is really serious about his goals and the kind of art he wants to create, it’s admirable... just not something i’m used to? i’m so used to liking kinda dumb or snarky male idols . err. well actually now that i think about it the last time i liked a male idol to a similar extent (past surface level, actually watching variety shows and trying to befriend other people who like them/him) was kyuhyun so i guess i don’t have much to compare to... but i do like kinda dumb male idols in general? or pretty and kinda memey BUT LIKE I SAID MINGHAO DOES NOT FALL UNDER ANY OF THOSE CATEGORIES SO THIS WAS UNPRECEDENTED. i don’t usually go for dancers!!! i almost ALWAYS go for the main vocalist no matter what, otherwise visual, and. minghao is neither. also i like guys with some meat on them/ass but hao is............... he’s......... i’ll admit he has some arm definition now like in this pic (had me going ooooooooooooooo!!!!!)

BUT EVEN COMPARED TO THE REST OF PERFORMANCE TEAM (hoshi and dino kind of have ass, so i guess that’s unfair, but jun is very lithe) HE’S... A TWIG...... and i usually strongly avoid mainland chinese members because i’m # antimainland/dalu and i usually drag my other best friend for her tendency to go for dudes who look super mainland (like you can just . see it.) despite being taiwanese and yet here i am huh 🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴 liking performance unit and china line best when it comes to groups too.. (booseoksoon is also good but not the same level of obsession of course) minghao just overturns all of my usual expectations/rules/habits...? i guess that’s another reason i’m so like... WOW..... MINGHAO BRAIN

and usually i also go for the more popular members i think...? like originally, joshua/jeonghan, and even wonwoo (i really hadn’t realized how popular he is LOL). i read an account of how he ducked when he noticed a fan was taking photos of him and the fan asked why he did that, and he said it’s because usually fans want photos of (other member) so he instinctively moved out of the way and that made me really sad... i think it was a while ago bc he’s way more confident and knows he’s well-loved now (i think). but yeah ugh now i’m like i kinda wanna... buy merch... BUT NO I WILL RESIST GIVING MY MONEY TO PLEDIS AND BIGHIT... THEY HAVE ENOUGH MONEY!! the only money i’ll hand over is for concerts :\\\ speaking of which svt is the only group i’ve seen twice now, which is significant i think. and basically within a year... i can’t wait for covid to end for MANY many reasons but also so if they do a world tour again or come to kcon, i can see them live again... they’re such, such good performers and so fun. i like them so much!!!! ahhhhhhhhh also i like that the fandom is fairly anti-bts lol just the way i like it.

ok wow this got long but this is what it’s like living with adhd i guess lmfao.... i think also discovering minghao loves frogs awakened something/flicked a light switch on in my head because i fucking lost my mind because...... YEAH IDOLS LIKE CUTE ANIMALS AND OFTEN HAVE ANIMAL MASCOTS ASSOCIATED WITH THEM BUT MINGHAO? LOVES KERMIT? KERMIT SPECIFICALLY???!! HE’S PERFORMED WEARING A KERMIT SHIRT AND HAS SO MANY DIFFERENT JANK KERMIT KEYCHAINS........ A MAN AFTER MY OWN HEART (also when he dragged the camera to make it look like he was holding our hand in in-complete...i got flustered but it was mostly like omg i can’t believe u)... twinning... i joked with christina that i might end up joining carat selfie day with my kermit just so i can twin with hao ALKJSLKJSDFKLJ i would only do it on private tho. but yeah like... oh my god....... it’s fate... destiny... plus i found it out the day i laughed at a bisexuals love frogs meme too.

LIKE THIS??? KERMIT HAS A HAT????

MY ONLY PROBLEM IS THAT LIKE... A LOT OF HIS HAIRSTYLES DON’T CLICK WITH ME OTL like baby this hair is not great on you.... i guess that shows the limits of my love lmfao bc i was like hm i would buy this image picket from weverse shop but i really don’t like his hair... doesn’t look good.. lmao. same with the in-complete mini photobook bc while i like his clothes i just am not a fan of the hair... his hair in the concert was so good and also his trademark brown/black mullet is superior (black is best tho) but it’s fine... i got into his black hair when he decided to bleach it again... also like whenever i look at most photos of him he is literally not my type at all but there’s just something about his face.. aura? that i’m drawn to like my brain is like you will like minghao you will constantly think about him in fact you are going to dream about him! when you have not dreamt about kpop idols in almost a decade! i guess also his kind of ‘dgaf’ vibe is appealing/funny too... like his antics in the haunted house stuck with me even when i wasn’t this hardcore into svt (i think i saw it after i went to the oty concert, so i knew his name finally).

OK BUT FR I’M OBSESSED WITH THESE PHOTOS... HIS HAIR WAS PARTED IN THE MIDDLE LIKE USUAL WHICH I’M NOT SUPER INTO BUT BC HE WAS DANCING HIS WISPY BANGS JUST COVERED HIS FOREHEAD AND ALSO... HIS MAKEUP......

i also know now (after tracing back my 20200121 oty livetweet thread) that i was in fact drawn to him during the concert too, since i made one tweet to comment on how “...and the8 is cute but also very hot” and the only other members i brought up besides my main biases at the time (shua and jeonghan) were dk, hoshi (bc he was being a meme/hoshi), and mingyu (unexpectedly cute/funny antics). SO LIKE. THE SIGNS WERE THERE. i do think it’s hilarious that while i’m obsessed with hao now, i wasn’t a year ago, and yet i still have this iconically terrible photo of him while jeonghan looks pretty

HE LOOKS LIKE AN ASIAN GRANDMA/HAG IN IT ALKSJKLDSJKSDSJKLJKLJKLSJKLSDLSDF. anyways looking back on everything and my last year journey with seventeen it’s funny that i just associated minghao with this ugly photo i took and then when i tried taking photos during the in-complete concert OF COURSE THE FIRST PHOTO OF HIM CAME OUT BAD (not as bad as this though lol).

also.. i failed to realize he’s 97 line with mingyu and seokmin which is another nice coincidence bc seokmin is christina’s bias rn and both of us are like mingyu is so fucking hot he’s literally the hottest member in svt..... like wow it just works out like that huh!!!

ok i need to actually get work done now but all these thoughts are like *running at 69mph at all times* while i’m thinking about other things. i like wonwoo a lot too and he’s so moe just sitting or doing his own thing quietly on the side... i have a soft spot for him but my mind is only minghao right now

also i think seungkwan might be higher up than jeonghan only for the fact he’s hilarious (not that jeonghan isn’t, but it’s surprising that fairy prince visual snarky liar/cheater jeonghan isn’t my favorite bc that ticks off everything i like) in his reactions and passion for kpop/history and so earnest/loving of his members, such a damn good singer, cute/squishy... i think he’s my fourth favorite? after joshua the (fairy boy) embarrassing weirdo LA burger king foot lettuce...

[peekychu]

hiii ray! we haven't talked in a while but i still get happy whenever i see you on my dash :D i hope you're doing well! it's pretty cool that you're more active on tumblr nowadays, i missed u :'3 if u want to use this ask as an excuse to rant about any hyperfixations or special interests that u have rn please feel free bc ive been super pumped about being neurodivergent all day and want to share that :D it's just been *thinks about my favorite characters having adhd* *thinks about my favorite ch

Warning! This got long, you DID say I could rant, but thought I’d let ya know xD

Hi Avery!!! Aw, I’m so glad my goofy posts can make ya happy, it’s nice to hear!!!

AND YEAAA relating to favorite characters is a super nice thing, I know what you mean!! ^o^ Seeing Undertale trending again recently for the anniversary made me nostalgic for all the self-indulgent headcanon art I used to draw of Alphys, haha!

I will say, it’s kind of weird because lately I haven’t had One Big All-Consuming interest like I usually did in the past (except for maybe Game Grumps and Ninja Sex Party which have still been staples for me xD), I’ve been trying to expand my horizons during quarantine and I’m starting a lot of new shows & games!!! I gotta give my partner tons of credit for introducing me to new things I never would have checked out on my own, without him I’d probably still be watching the same old Game Grumps compilations and nothing else, lol. It’s been AWESOME discovering new interests!

During lockdown I have:

- Watched all of the Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure anime and just finished part 6 of the manga! You don’t even know how hard I resisted getting into this series, but sometime around part 4 I got nearly as obsessed as bf xD Emphasis on nearly, hehe. But seriously, I love this series! I met some awesome new characters too! I really love some of the sillier characters like Narancia and Foo Fighters, but Jotaro has grown on me like a LOT!! I love this fella, especially in part 4. Joseph was the first person that made me interested in the show!

- Watched and read all of Beastars so far! Excited for season 2 to be animated! The manga is definitely all over the place, but still made for some really interesting friend discussions! 

- Started Hunter x Hunter 2011, as well as some of the 1999 episodes! It got to a SUUUPER slow point so I haven’t finished it, but people have been convincing me to stick with it for the Chimera Ant arc which is supposedly the best xD Mostly I just ADORE Gon and Killua’s dynamic, as well as their friends Kurapika and Leorio! I feel like the series is a little bit confusing and isn’t storytelling to its max potential, but I have some favorite bits for sure!

- Re-awakened a Spongebob obsession xD I got the game Battle for Bikini Bottom Rehydrated and beat it, SUCHHHH a good game!! It inspired me to watch a ton of old episodes (seasons 1-3 of course) which was very nostalgic and made me remember how genuinely hilarious of a cartoon it was.

- Played tons of Animal Crossing! I sort of burnt out on ACNH like most ppl stuck at home with a Switch, but I’m happy with my island (named Daffodil!) and the love I put into it! It served as some crucial escapism at the start of this wackiness, lol

- Beaten Mario Galaxy for the very first time!! This was a hyperfocus-y highlight for me, I beat the game in under 3 days and LOVED every second!! Mario Galaxy is such a delightful game!

- Started Majora’s Mask 3DS! My mom also got a copy so the two of us could play together! I ended up getting MUCH farther in the game than her since I’d played the first part a few times when I was younger, but I don’t know if I’ll ever beat it, haha. The 3DS remake made some changes from the original that bummed me out, so I’m taking a break until I’m inspired again :P Maybe I’ll just play through Ocarina of Time again?

- Played Fall Guys with my pals!! Honestly I’m craving this game again, maybe after typing this post I’ll play some, hehe.

- Started Pokemon Journeys (the anime) with bf!!!! I LOVE this show, I think it’s the best Pokemon anime yet! Lots of very cute Pikachu moments which is important to me, and lots of content that really takes full advantage of the Pokemon world!

- Got into Rock-Afire Explosion with bf! I feel weird talking so much about him on here since he doesn’t have a tumblr account and most likely doesn’t read these posts, but he’s been a huge part of my life :P Anyways, this guy is the Rock-Afire KING, it’s been a lot of fun listening to their (shockingly) good songs and seeing the project he’s been working on for it! I’ve grown a huge fondness for Billy Bob, he is a sweet boy with a sweet voice.

- Started Neon Genesis Evangelion! I’m actually super close to finishing this anime, it REALLY got cool and interesting! I’m glad about not being spoiled Too much despite seeing it everywhere online for most of my teenagehood, haha. One of the more serious things I’ve watched lately, but I find stories like this to be cathartic :P

- And arguably most importantly, Avatar the Last Airbender!!!!!!!!!!!! Holy MOLY! This is one of those things that ppl have been pressuring me to get into for Years, and now that I have, I wish I could go back in time and pester myself alongside my friends, haha! I binged a whole season’s worth on a sick day, I just really Really love every character, and the writing, and the worldbuildinG, it’s all fantastic and it’s all been said before xD I also caved and bought the entire collection of The Search and The Promise of the comic series!!! Just read the rest of it last night, I am in awe over how fantastic Avatar really is!! I think that alongside Jojo, Avatar has been a world that really helped me through the weirdness of these past months xD

I also have been thinking a lot about my furry characters, lol :P I’ve commissioned and drawn  so much art of my OCs, they just all make me so happy! Especially my fursona Twinkie of course, I feel so connected with this goofball cat! I want to maybe develop a comic for my characters and make a world for them, but all of my motivation is being dedicated to art classes :P

ANYWAYS!! Thanks for letting me ultra infodump, this became less of an interest-gush and more of a quarantine update xD I don’t love talking about the current situation because it’s All anyone talks about (I mean, I get why but yknow) but I’m really grateful that I found some inspiration and enjoyment in new things during my time at home!

[satonthelotuspier]

I’m a bit under the weather rn and unable to get out of bed. Using the time to do some work on the NieLan fic (8k in, getting there, ish?) between feeling sorry for myself, and I haven’t put anything out for a while. Therefore, have the SFT - Safe for Tumblr (but still a little spicy) part of the XiCheng cat ears fic that took over my brain based loosely on this post here. Full version (when I’ve finished it, it is not this day though) will go on AO3. Contains sexual language.

Jiang Cheng realised he’d fucked up when he saw the presents on the dining table.

Well, at first he didn’t, at first he ran through the list of birthdays, wedding anniversaries, friends who were expectant and so forth in his head and came up completely blank.

Then the date clicked in his brain.

February 14th.

Fuck.

He had forgotten Valentines day. And the worst thing was he knew Lan Xichen wouldn’t mind. He was too fucking laid back, too accepting of Jiang Cheng’s failings as a boyfriend, or, even worse, he had such low expectations of Jiang Cheng to begin with.

Had he heard Jiang Cheng come in?

Snowdrop hadn’t raised a fuss and run to him, so maybe they were out on a walk, or in the garden, and Jiang Cheng could sneak back out and head straight to the mall.

Even the thought of dealing with the mass of humanity out valentines shopping for their significant other’s was the lesser of evils when measured against Lan Xichen’s happiness.

He had just turned to walk back to the door and try and slip out when the excited barking and scritch of toenails on the wooden floor announced he’d been made.

Snowdrop barrelled through the house and over to Jiang Cheng to announce how pleased she was he had returned, followed by Lan Xichen who wrapped him up in a hug and placed a gentle kiss against his lips.

“Wanyin” he murmured, “Welcome back, we missed you”

“I only left yesterday morning” Jiang Cheng couldn’t help replying.

“And I missed you since yesterday morning” thank goodness Lan Xichen wasn’t sensitive about Jiang Cheng’s inability to accept tenderness without returning sarcasm.

“OK, needy much?” Jiang Cheng was answered this time with another kiss.

He was released eventually, and Snowdrop wanted another turn at his attention, which he was glad to give her, to avoid the inevitable evidence of his huge fuck up getting out.

Once Snowdrop was sated he could ignore Lan Xichen and the situation no longer; at least he had thought so but the other had retreated to the kitchen to make a request for dinner from the chef.

Honestly Jiang Cheng still wasn’t used to having staff, not that he did, they were definitely Lan Xichen’s.

Just like the majority of this house.

Jiang Cheng had eventually given in to Lan Xichen on the issue of living arrangements, the other arguing it was stupid to resent his money and for them to live below their means just for the sake of Jiang Cheng’s pride. But Jiang Cheng had forced the other to have a contract drawn up which had stipulated if, for whatever reason (i.e. Lan Xichen’s reaching his limit with Jiang Cheng) they broke up Jiang Cheng would only walk away with what he had put into the cost of their house, which was almost negligible in comparison. Lan Xichen had told him he felt uncomfortable with the stipulation but of course had had no other option but to agree, especially when Jiang Cheng told him it was the only way he’d feel any measure of comfort with the arrangement.

                                                            ***

The presents weren’t touched upon again until much later that evening. Lan Xichen had disappeared briefly with their empty wine glasses and reappeared with the two boxes in his hands.

Jiang Cheng swallowed nervously. He was about to make his grovelling apology when one of the boxes was placed on his lap.

“Happy Valentines” Lan Xichen told him and watched expectantly. Jiang Cheng opened the box to find it contained expensive spicy chocolates.

Something the Jiangs would devour but would be anathema to the Lans more ascetic palate.

Jiang Cheng forgot his guilt for a moment in his excitement.

“Oh my God, how did you find out about these? Wei Wuxian has been drooling over these for months in group chat” Jiang Cheng exclaimed; he was about to break into them when he thought better of it.

“I have my ways” was all Lan Xichen would reveal on the subject.

“I’m going to love trying them, and rubbing Wei Wuxian’s face in it. Thank you” he actually leaned over to press a kiss against Lan Xichen’s lips, and the other beamed like he’d been offered a blowjob rather than just one, freely given, kiss. Which, considering his complete and utter failure to prepare for the most romantic holiday of the year was about all he had to offer the other in return.

The thought sobered him and he was about to apologise when again Lan Xichen forestalled it by dropping the other parcel in his lap.

Lan Xichen actually looked a little giddy, and it made Jiang Cheng forget his own incompetence for the second time in virtually as many minutes; he pulled the lid off the box.

And his soul left his body.

He genuinely didn’t know where to put his eyes; he was fucking sure he’d never be able to look Lan Xichen in the face again.

As soon as he thought it his eyes snapped up, “Y-you got me cat ears? For Valentines Day? Do you want your legs breaking?”

“Don’t be silly, I got me cat ears. And you missed the cute little paw-print choker” Lan Xichen pointed helpfully into the bottom of the box. “I thought you might struggle to have a gift arranged with attending your seminar, so I took the liberty of helping out. I thought you might like to...” he gestured at Jiang Cheng.

Had his eyes bulged? He felt like his eyes bulged.

This manipulative little shit though.

“Are you insane, do you crave death?”

There was a delicate shrug, “I thought you’d look very cute, is all. I understand if you don’t want to” despite his claimed understanding, Lan Xichen managed to sound pouty; but the box was put aside and wasn’t mentioned again by him.

                                                           ***

“You’re a fucking idiot” Jiang Cheng told himself later, as he stood in front of the vanity mirror in the bathroom.

Lan Xichen had taken a call from his uncle about bank business and Jiang Cheng had used the opportunity to grab the forgotten gift box and sequester himself in the en suite.

Was he really going to allow himself to be manipulated into this?

He was sure the embarrassment would make him squirm for years to come if he did.

He looked down at the cat ear headband in his hands, then back at the mirror.

He was more than a little tempted to just throw them straight into the bin, but the soft, sulky look on Lan Xichen’s face earlier had tickled his sense of guilt. Of course the other looked gorgeous even in his petulance, and he wasn’t by nature a sullen creature, so Jiang Cheng was fully aware it was all skin deep for the purpose of manoeuvring him into giving in and wearing the cursed objects; unfortunately his body was unable to build up the immunity required to protect against Lan Xichen.

He supposed he should just be thankful there was no butt-plug tail…

He let out a long, heartfelt sigh, placed the ears to one side and reached for the choker.

                                                             ***

He supposed the sexier thing to do would have been to strip naked, or at least take his t-shirt off, but he was fucked if he was going to make it even more embarrassing for himself. Therefore he was still fully clothed in his dark jeans and white v-neck t-shirt when he heard Lan Xichen enter the bedroom.

He wavered at the bathroom door for several seconds, his face a beacon of flushed self-consciousness.

He knew if he left it any longer he’d bottle it, and it would render the most embarrassing part of actually putting the accessories on and seeing himself in the mirror, moot, so he sucked in a quick, steadying breath and walked out into the bedroom.

He definitely couldn’t meet Lan Xichen’s gaze now though.

He looked determinedly at the floor as Lan Xichen turned to him.

He heard the sucked in breath, “Wanyin” the other’s voice was delighted and he expected to be crowded by Lan Xichen; either hugged or kissed. Instead he heard the double click of a mobile taking pictures.

His temper overtook his embarrassment, his eyes flared as they rose to take in Lan Xichen holding his phone.

He leapt forward, intending to take the mobile off Lan Xichen with a snarled; “You asshole”

Lan Xichen was so much faster though, and quicker than Jiang Cheng could react he caught Jiang Cheng’s wrists and used his attacking momentum to overbalance him and send them both down to the mattress. Jiang Cheng’s wrists were pinned to the bed and the offending mobile had vanished out of sight.

“You can delete the pictures later, I promise” Lan Xichen said as he looked down into Jiang Cheng’s incensed face.

“Why not now, asshole?” he swore he wasn’t going to give the other the satisfaction of pulling on his wrists, but he couldn’t help it and he ended up trying to twist his body beneath Lan Xichen; who of course greatly enjoyed the friction.

“Because I quite like you where you are right now, A-Cheng. Such a hissing, spitting kitten” Lan Xichen mocked, keeping out of biting range, but Jiang Cheng had begun to calm down as soon as he realised Lan Xichen had enacted the whole scenario to make him forget his embarrassment.

“Such a spoiled little prince, manoeuvring to get his own way all the time” Jiang Cheng snapped up at Lan Xichen, whose eyes shone with amusement.

“Let me show you the benefit of being with a spoiled prince who always gets his own way then; if I petted you nicely, would you purr for me?”

“So fucking shameless. How thick is your face that you can spout such rubbish constantly?”

“It’s a good thing we don’t both have a thin face, A-Cheng” Lan Xichen took a chance and leaned down to nuzzle at Jiang Cheng’s jawline; when the other didn’t react negatively he followed it’s line with a trail of gentle kisses, before capturing Jiang Cheng’s mouth, his own firm and possessive.

[peantutbutter]

24, 34, 35 and 38 for the ah questions please!

24. Have you ever sent in art or anything to AHWU?

I haven’t....yet...i’m contemplating making some fahc themed candles and maybe doing a small cross stitch for them at some point but lmao school is kicking my ass rn so i haven’t had the time to do anything.

34. Opinion on Lindsay?

michael jones is ur wife single? i love her so much. she’s such a talented voice actress and she’s so funny and chill and sweet and cute and she’s got two kids!!!!! what can’t this woman do? 

35. Opinion on Matt?

i adore matt and i’m glad that everyone i follow here on tumblr agrees he needs more love. my favorite piece of fanart i’ve drawn is the one of him as the shark mage. he’s got such a nice voice (i would love to listen to him read....matt for audiobooks pls) and he works so hard trying to create fun things for the gang to do in gtav and minecraft and the dedication he puts into his work really shows! a really good guy 10/10

38. Opinion on Fiona?

and once again, i love miss fiona nova. she’s only a few months older than i am and that boggles my mind, but i’m so happy that she’s been so successful so far. her career has only just started and i can’t wait to see what she’ll do in the future! she’s so beautiful and her cosplay and instagram pics makes wlw brain go brrrrrrrrrrrrr. also so funny! it’s crazy! it’s insane! i love her!

[szopenhauer]

where were you 2 hours ago? in the local store do you kiss a lot of people? I kissed only one person in my entire life

are you wearing socks right now? ... no

have you bought any clothing items in the last week? yes

one thing you hate about yourself? my chronic illnesses mostly

what do you know about the future? we will all die, sooner or later

do you have a tan? slightly, on my arms

what day is tomorrow? Sunday 

are you dating someone? yes

why? because of many reasons

using your current first initial choose a different name for yourself. Zefiryna  or Zyta if polish what piece of furniture have you replaced the most? hmm... dunno, I’m not rich enough to replace my furniture

what do you think is the most over-rated candy ever? candies are overrated in general what is broken that you have, that you wish was fixed? my body  line from the last thing you wrote to someone? jak uważasz

Have you ever wondered what you look like when you’re sleeping? yeah ^^” Do you put your friends or family first? my parents and my S.O. Do you have bad allergies? ugh... Are your parents proud of you? there’s nothing to be proud of Would you ever be your school’s mascot who wears that costume? I could Is/was your school full of fakes? obvi What age did you start staying home alone? I’m not sure tbh but late

Would you rather see the Great Wall of China or Big Ben? Big Ben because I’d prefer to visit England and not China Ice Ice Baby or U Can’t Touch This? both XD

Can you do a handstand? used to Do you own any shirts that are yellow? several What’s a brand of shoe you like, but wouldn’t buy a pair? creepers for example Would you like to live in a cottage home? yup but I won’t

Are you comfortable with your height? wish I was a bit taller Last text received?

Are you afraid of heights? not really

Were you happy when you woke up today? I was glad I could sleep almost 10 hours Have you ever laughed so hard you cried? few times hahaha Do you curse in front of your parents? oh well ^^” Are you slowly drifting away from someone close? ... What are you listening to right now? iamamiwhoami  How is the weather right now? warm Have you ever been caught doing something you weren’t supposed to be doing? I don’t recall Do you use chapstick? ewww, gross How long do you think you will live? not much longer How’s your life going lately? no comment Have you ever had to get your blood drawn? countless times What is the most important thing to you? health that I don’t have Who was the last person you high fived? someone close to me Who hugged you last? parent Why do you feel the way you feel? where should I start... When was the last time you went shopping? this day as I already mentioned Are you liking how you look today? it’s ok Do you hate when they give a lot of tv commercials? especially when they repeat  Are you a very stressed out person? that I am 

Do you hate when people stare at you for no reason? awkward Which color is better? Red, Blue, Green, Black, or Yellow? definitely not red and blue *said a person who is wearing this today:

*I also hate pink, you will never understand me  Are you good at hiding your feelings? can be but what for Is anyone annoying you right now? not rn Did you cry today? not so far When was the last time you had a sleepover? years ago Do you like taking pictures? kinda Don’t you hate that when it’s freezing cold outside your eyes get teary? that’s awful

Have you ever trespassed? it wasn’t a big deal Do you tell your parents where you are going? basics at least Can you give a good back massage? been told 

Did you ever mix up the words “message” & “massage”? possibly Are there any other words you get mixed up? there are  Do you think women should hold open doors for men, too? why not, it’s nice to be helpful Do you raise your hand or participate in class? umm... I had my moments Would you ever spend the night in a treehouse? doubt it? What do you think of people who own wild animals? hard to tell If a book was written about your life, what would be in the summary? no idea  Are you good at explaining things, in general? I try my best to be straightforward and turn out being misunderstood If your friend had a drug-problem would you abandon them? I might, sorry Has a friendship ever ended over similar reasons? I wasn’t in a situation like this before Do you like window shopping?  fun Do you mind lending money to your friends? I’m poor What, to you, is the best part of traveling? souvenirs Do you like to try new things? very rarely Does it bother you if someone talks bad about you? gossips/lies bother me

What time of day feels the most magical to you? sunrise and evening/night? Does your head hurt right now? bardziej mi się kręci w głowie po prostu Is your hair wet right now? dry Have you ever dreamt of being a famous athlete? I had a night dream about being an athlete ore than once but I dislike sports  Do you have a rich friend that you’re jealous of? whoops you got me Are you interested in a girl who has a girlfriend? that girlfriend is me muahahaha Do most of the guys who like you annoy you? omg truth (I’m a lesbian though) but majority of society annoys me (especially men) so... What musical do you think you could play the lead in? Cats if I had talent What medical conditions do you have? what medical condition I don’t have... Do you wear leggings often? everyday Are you responsible in general? I avoid responsibilities  Would you consider yourself mature? not enough, I’m childish  Can you reach your ceiling? me?... Do you have a reading nook? I’m a librocubicularist Who is the cutest baby you know? babies ain’t cute  *weird fact - I think those with Down syndrome are prettier - is that offensive?

What makes you nauseous? I constantly feel nauseous

Someone walks into your room, what do they notice first the amount of plushies

When you have sex, do you keep your eyes closed or open when finishing I tried to keep them closed, I’m embarassed If I stepped into your shower, what is the first item I would notice who knows

How many times a day do you think you sneeze it’s not a daily thing to me Your phone rings but you don’t know the number, would you answer it if I wait for a call like from hospital etc. How many cars have you actually owned 0 Do you always take a shower after you have sex no When you wash your hair in the shower to you face the faucet or away:. face Would you let the girl pay on the first date if she really wanted to split or else I just feel ashamed Have you ever had a friend who preferred the same sex I’m that friend ha! What was the name of the last alcohol you consumed that got you trashed not applicable Do you let your girlfriend drive, or do you prefer to we don’t drive The last time you had sex was it in the morning, afternoon or night afternoon

Are you afraid of stink bugs? they’re harmless :o Do you have a printer? but we don’t use it What is the closest thing to you that’s yellow? pencil  Does anyone own any embarrassing pictures of you? I’m ugly on all photos... Do you care what others say about you? who and what? Are you into anime? blergh Name one movie that has made you cry more than once. ex. Five feet apart When is your father’s birthday? Mother’s? next year *my father is a Pisces and my mother is an Aquarius like me  no more info for ya! Are you a sarcastic person? very Do you overthink things? 24/7, every single detail, even from ages ago Are you naturally paranoid? would say so

What was the last song you listened to? Lola Marsch - Echoes

Which is more important in your life, TV or Internet? internet, I don’t watch TV and I’d even choose net over movies if I had to Do you overuse smileys? gifs :P When was the last time you ate something? an hour ago *but I fill out this survey for couple of hours  Have you seen all of the Jaws movies? I haven’t seen any of ‘em Do you know what Entomophobia is? had to google it When was the last time you played cards? (not on the computer) months ago Ever owned a pair of the original Nikes? (white, with only a single swoosh) not my type of shoes Ever worn leg warmers? yes, I still have several pairs  When was the last time you read a book over 700 pages long? never, I only written over 700 pages Have you ever had a black eye? nope, just bags under my eyes

How do you mark through your word search puzzles? I cross them with my pen Do you hate people who ask a lot of questions? I enjoy questions but... Have you ever seen a roll of bluish-green toilet paper? yep Can you name five ‘z’ words off the top of your head? besides my name? in english or polish? If a rooster laid an egg on the peak of a roof which side would it roll to? roosters don’t lay eggs

[the-wholesome-hanako-san]

I haven��t drawn in a long time, maybe because of my lack of free time or maybe because of my insecurities, maybe both... but yesterday I was very sick (not because of coronavirus haha) and it stressed me out, because I couldn’t breathe properly and I have exams soon so I wasn’t able to focus properly. So I stopped, took a deep breath and started drawing to release the stress. I just told myself I’m going to draw whatever comes up in my mind and enjoy it, so this is what I did. I didn’t draw any manga or anime or cartoon related character, just a girl with a cute face and I realized how much I missed drawing cute girls... I was a bit scare I was going to be too rusty, but I did alright. I didn’t look up any references so the anatomy is probably very wrong, but I don’t care, I enjoyed it and that’s what matters. I’ll probably work on her more later. I’m really happy rn, because my favorite kpop group #loona got their 1st win!!! And also next week my #animalcrossing switch will arrive with the game included so this month is very special for me, I’m gonna have so much fun playing my favorite game!! Anyways, I don’t think I’ll ever return to draw fanart the way I used, because it was very stressful. I’m an artist, it’s true, but it’s just a hobbie and I won’t let the internet ruin it for me anymore. Thank you to all the few people that liked my stuff and took the time to leave a nice comment, I will always have you in my heart ❤️. That’s all I wanted to say. (Even if no one really cares) #drawing #artist #anime #manga #pencil #original #girl #cherry #art #picoftheday #artistsofinstagram https://www.instagram.com/p/B9pGepHn2oT/?igshid=1tf9dpxv96rbj

[nosferatyou]

I was tagged by @lazingonsunday and @shes-outta-sight to do one of the long tag, get to know them, type of things. Which I absolutely love by the way. I don’t talk about myself much.

What was the last thing you read?

Well I was editing the latest chapter of my fic of that counts? If not some random josh one shot a couple hours ago lol.

Favorite Movie?

Man it’s ever revolving. It was Django Unchained for a long ass time, but now I think it’s Baby Driver.

Favorite Book?

Misery by Stephen King. I read it years ago and I have a lot of good memories tied to it. Me and my friend became closer through his works and this was the first one I read. It’ll stay close in my heart.

Dream Date?

It’s one I’ve been on before but just Vinyl Shopping. It’s simple and easy but music in a relationship is important to me. I gotta make sure they have good picks. But there is something so soft about it all.

Do you have a crush?

Sadly no. But I’m fully in Joshes lane rn if that means anything?

What are your hobbies?

Oof okay. I mostly draw like all hours of the day. But I very actively keep up with guitar and bass. I write as well. I make videos for my friends. I collect old and beat up vinyls. Lot of art stuff

Favorite time of day?

Night time. Like from hours 10-3. That’s my true alone time and it’s something I cherish and look forward to everyday.

If you could look like anything, what would you like to look like?

I don’t wish to change anything about my body. I think I’d be silly to. But man I wish I could actually afford clothes I’d like to wear. Real bellbottoms you know? I want that vintage shit.

Are you romantic?

In a secure relationship yes. I show too much emotion too fast in the beginning. But boy oh boy when I get romantic. I get very touchy feely. Man date ideas. Lot of carefully curated playlists.

Favorite type of weather?

That time in like August/September when I can wear jeans and maybe a light jacket. But it’s still warm, you know?

What do you like talking about?

Music. I talk about it all day long. The foundation behind it. The artist. I could discuss guitars and instruments with people all damn day. I just. I love everything about it. But also GVF is my hyperfixation rn and my friend is ready to shoot my head off if I speak another word about Jakes guitar playing.

What are your turn ons?

Ngl I’m akin to a boy with long hair. It’s my vice. I’ve only dated long haired musicians. But I just want someone who radiates some kind of light you know? I’ve seen too much darkness. I want someone genuine and real. Is it too much to ask for a positive person?

What are your turn offs?

I’ve dealt with a lot in my past. Basically anything that’s negative. Ignorance mostly. I don’t want someone who refuses to learn. It’s stupid. I just want honesty and someone with an open mind. Anything else is a no go.

If you got a tattoo what would it be and where would you get it?

Okay so. I really want tattoos. I designed something about a year ago I want really badly but it’s so expensive. Thinking rationally. Right now I’d really like some line art of bust. Idk what tho.

Do you have any pets?

3! 2 dogs, Ruby and Nellie, both too six year old mutts. Nellie is the weirdest god damn dog I’ve ever had. And ruby is basically a fox dog. And then there is Friday my cat. He can be a bitch boy but he’s a sweet boy who’s just being a cat. (I also have ten plants but most people don’t consider them pets)

Dream Job?

I’m still searching for that. Recently my heads been floating towards playing live shows as a guitar or bass player. But I’m no where near the point of even considering. I’m pretty shitty. But how Cool would it be to play that violin bow with my guitar on stage?

Dream place to live?

Not considering any potential jobs. I just want to live in a big log cabin somewhere on the outskirts of a town. Out in the wilderness and free to just live.

Dream vacation?

I’ve never been to Europe. I’d love to just road trip around in a van honestly. But before that visit my great grandfather grave in Scotland. He was a kings hand and did a lot back in the day. I’d be cool to see. But then I’d fuck around in Europe.

Do you have any piercings?

I’ve got my nose and ears pierced. I’m pretty happy with that

If you had kids what would you name them?

Man I don’t even want to think about that.

What are your best traits?

I’m a great listener. I’m extremely compassionate. Will do anything to help friends. And I feel like my music taste isn’t half bad.

Worst traits?

The compassionate thing tends to bite me in the ass. I’ve got a lot of emotions. I also have 20 things I want to do all at once all the time. I loose sleep because of it. There is more but I’d go on too long.

Worst fear?

Weirdly enough any type of natural disaster. When I was way too young I watched “The Impossible” and then shortly after learned about techtonic plates and I never forgotten about it or where they are.

What do you want to eat right now?

Brownies. And a fucking burrito.

Best vacation you’ve been on?

I went on a road trip to Chicago recently and I just makes so many good memories. I saw ninja sex party’s 10th anniversary, which was fantastic. But I got to visit a friend all weekend. But my favorite part was the ride back. The whole time we just talked but also sang to old 50s songs and just had this moment of unity. I still think about it

Favorite City?

I haven’t been to too many places yet so I’m gonna go with my hometown, Nashville. If you look past all the tourists. It’s got a very rich musical history and in certain places you just feel it. I loved living there and it made me who I was.

Favorite social media platform?

Tumblr. It’s really the only one I ever check anymore. Plus I’ve made some great friends on here.

Favorite article of clothing?

My fucking bellbottoms. I wear them whenever I can. They give me so much confidence.

Do you play any sports?

Fuck no. I have no coordination whatsoever.

Favorite meal of the day?

Lunch. You have a lot more options. Plus I just like the vibe

What are you excited for?

Starting the tenth I have a lot of good things coming my way. In that week I get to finally end this semester, the new Harry styles album releases, I get a new bass, and I get to see fucking Greta Van Fleet. None of you know how excited I am for that. Pit tickets. Jesus it’ll be good.

Not excited for?

Finals. And an um.. upcoming funeral.

When was the last time you cried?

I honestly can’t remeber and that really scares me.

Dream house?

I basically answered this earlier but gimme that big ass log cabin.

Something you hate about this world?

Don’t get my started. I hate that everyone hates themselves all the time when they have no reason to. I hate that 8 people have most of the worlds money and are doing nothing to help global warming. I hate the man that’s in power and what he’s helped cause. I hate everyone who refuses to accept literally any fact. I hate that my future is bleak because of some old ass white men.

Something you love about this world?

I love the light that radiates off of certain people. I love that our generation has hope and that some people are actually trying to make change. I love the raw creativity I see in others and I love that we are bringing back the resurgence of peace and love.

What scents do you like?

Old records and books. Its the simple pleasures.

What kind of sleeper are you?

Typically heavy but sometimes I Sleep so little it feels like I got nothing at all.

Cat or dog person?

Don’t make me pick! I grew up with both, and very partial to both.

How long would you survive in a zombie Apocolypse?

I wish I could tell you. I’d like to think I’d live awhile but I would probably be the ones who look like they have hope and then accidentally get taken out.

Are you trusting?

I used to be. I realized recently how thick my walls really are.

What fictional character do you identify with?

Sorry to be boring but nothing is coming to mind. But then again I never felt akin to anyone really?

What labels do you commonly get?

In high school I was called “the quiet one” if that tells you anything.

What song would be your life anthem?

Sunshine on my shoulders by John Denver is the only one coming to mind. I think I just want the feeling it gives me to be what I feel all the time.

What issues are you dealing with right now?

Two friends in the last month Um. Took their own lives. One being an old friend. I’ve never dealt with death. My brain doesn’t know how to handle it. I also think I might have ADD. But. That’s the tip of the iceberg rn

How can someone win you over?

Typically I’m drawn to people who are the loudest in the room. I like that their confident and can speak their minds but what wins me over about them is when they really open up. When I learn about the real then rather than the face that they put on. Most of the time it goes that way.

What’s something people don’t know about you?

I’m making a short film with some friends who go to Columbia. Should be out soonish.

I tag

@pvre-mourning @peacelovekiszka @fretavangleet @aint-no-denying @sosozoso

[beetlesacquired]

Klance Fanfic Rec List

I’ve currently got 118 Klance Ao3 links saved and I wanted to share some of my favorites so here ya go: (There’s a Shklance at the bottom btw)

He Who Fights Monsters by magisterpavis

Words: 64,888 Smut: yes Completed: yes

This is a really slow burn fic with a captivating plot and guys.  Dragons.  There’s so many dragons.  This author is also one of my favorites btw I love them.

Summary:  In a world where monstrous dragons terrorize humanity daily, the Garrison trains valiant Knights to slay the evil beasts and defend Earth. But when Knight cadet Lance Espinosa is kidnapped by a strange red dragon who kills its own kind, certain truths are revealed...and so are the true monsters.

Dirty Laundry by Anonymous

Words: 85,042 Smut: there’s a heated makeout scene or two but no actual smut Completed: yes

If you haven’t read this do you even ship Klance?  It’s the fake dating fic to top all fake dating fics.  It’s so sweet and feely you’ll cry buckets and it’s also incredibly funny.  I’ve probably read it like 5 times.  Kinda slow burn kinda not?  Internalized homophobia and homophobia from family warnings.

Summary: "Two whole months of free laundry in exchange for two weeks of being my fake boyfriend. Deal?” Keith hesitated for a moment. Was this really worth it? Hardly. Lance was an asshole, and he wasn’t sure what fake dating would entail. But, free laundry was free laundry, right? “Alright, it’s a deal.”  Or: Lance makes the mistake of telling his Mom he has a boyfriend coming home with him for Christmas. Keith makes the mistake of agreeing to be Lance's 'fake boyfriend'.

Ignorance is Bliss by YouAreInAComaWakeUp (Nikanaiko)

Words: 172,675 Smut: no Completed: yes

This is probably the number one most emotional fic I’m gonna list here.  There’s ghosts guys and that means characters I hold dear to my heart are dead so warning there.  Pretty sure I was sobbing through multiple chapters.  Real slow burn, but the build up is so worth it especially with how amazing the plot is.  I’ve got quotes from this fic hanging on my wall rn that’s how fantastic the writing is.  Suicide and internalized homophobia warnings.

Summary:As it turns out, learning that your house is haunted makes the ghosts a lot more aggressive. Who knew?  Ah, well. At least one of them is hot. And he's the less-evil one, too, so that's always a plus.

The Message by shipstiel

Words: 132,787 Smut: no Completed: yes

This is kinda a texting fic?  So lots of bants and comedy, mostly Lance cracking jokes and Keith being done with his life.  It’s a really cute fluffy thing.  Depression, car crash, nightmares, and mentions of suicide warnings

Summary: (4:07) okay, but considr this, and hear me out here (4:08) so like, a photobooth u can do with ur pets like there’ll be lil costumes that u can dress them up in, and u can do liek, period costumes and shit with them (4:09) omg, can u imagine, u and ur cat/dog, and theyre in a lil 1800s dress and one of those lace umbrella things omg so cute(4:15) Why the FUCK are you texting me at four in the morning with this— Keith is texted by accident by some idiot one day, and honestly he's not even sure why he responds. Or why he keeps responding. Yet somehow he finds himself drawn in, and okay, so maybe this fool is mildly entertaining after all. Who would've thought.

True Love or Something by DeerstalkerDeathFrisbee

Words: 188,626 Smut: no Completed: kinda??

This is more of a collection of short stories based around Keith, Lance, and the gang than an actual plot filled fic and normally I don’t like that sort of thing, but I’m in love with this because it’s so funny and cute and despite it having 37 parts and counting, it doesn’t get boring or tedious at all.  There’s a couple angsty parts especially regarding Keith’s Tragic Backstory but it’s all around just amazing.  

Summary: “So that was…” “If you say painless I’m shoving you into another snowdrift.” “Okay, that’s fair. But you got a lollipop!” “That you stole from pediatrics.” “I’m a very good date.”  Lance accidentally crashes into his new neighbor in front of their mailboxes and somehow ends the night with a very attractive (and slightly concussed) date.

Mistakes were made (Skinny band nerd takes it up the ass from the beefcake football captain) by Lynn1998

Words: 50,727 Smut: yes Completed: no Last Update: Jan 31 2017

I normally wouldn’t recommend unfinished fics, especially ones that haven’t been updated in over a year but I honestly just really like this one.  The smut is top notch and there’s plot, fluff, and angst in there as well.  I really like it. 

Summary:  Lance can't stand the captain of the football team…so why is he having sex with him?

I Swear to You by AlyxRae

Words: 123,991 Smut: no Completed: yes

Bodyguard AU!!!  Altean Prince Lance with Galra Bodyguard Keith is literally my favorite thing ever I love it.  This fic gave me whiplash with the amount of times everything went from nice and happy to death and destruction in a heart beat it’s crazy.  Least to say, lots of angst.

Summary: With the destruction of their home planet, the remaining Galra are forced to take refuge with the kind Alteans. Much darker plans begin to take shape and a young Galra solider is made the bodyguard of the Altean Prince, with orders to kill him when the time is right. However, the charming prince manages to capture the Galra's heart and ends up being captivated by the solider in return.The prince and the bodyguard are thrown into perilous adventures, all the while trying to stay together and keep each other safe.

Shadow of the Past and Ghost of the Future by wittyy_name and Zizzani

Words: 75,120 (GoF) 83,198 (SoP) Smut: no Completed: no Last Update: Feb 22 2018

These two fics are mirror fics, which is so cool.  Basically Lance gets sent one year into the future and future Lance gets sent back one year.  SoP is from Lance’s POV while he’s in the future and GoF is from Keith’s POV while future Lance is in the past with him.  I really love this fic and I’m always checking in for updates, which come in pairs (one for each fic).  It doesn’t matter which order you read them btw.

Summary: (SoP) When Lance is thrown through time, he finds himself one year in the future, in place of the Lance that should be here.He finds his team to be remarkably familiar, yet distinctly different. They have more scars, a better grip on the whole saving the universe thing, and over a year’s worth of teamwork to bind them together. But the weirdest part? Keith seems to be a lot more touchy with him. Not that he’s complaining… much.The team must try and work out how to reverse the two Lance’s places and restore them to their original timelines. But despite the fact that they’re still his friends, Lance can’t help but feel a little out of place among a team that’s been through so much with a Lance that just isn’t him. And it doesn’t help that the team is on edge around him, refusing to tell him anything for fear of influencing and changing the past. Things get even more complicated when they have to rely on the team in the past to complete the switch, leaving Lance to little more than sit, wait, and attempt to fill in his future self’s shoes. 

(GoF) When Lance is thrown through time, his future self from one year ahead is transported to the past in his place.This Lance is faster, stronger, and markedly more mature. Not only that, but he's distinctly more intuitive about his teammates and A LOT more touchy with Keith.The team must try and work out how to reverse the two Lance's places and restore them to their original timelines. Things only get more complicated when the Future Lance can't seem to remember where he was when the switch happened, and he refuses to reveal anything about his own time for fear of influencing the team's decisions.

The Hurricane In His Veins by magisterpavus

Words: 249,189 Smut: yes Completed: yes

So this is actually Shklance because I don’t have enough recs for this ship to make it it’s own post and this fic is honestly just really really good.  It’s probably my favorite out of everything here.  It’s a vampire AU and I love it so much.  The plot is incredible (the author should publish a book tbh it’s that good I’d buy it), there are some really cute moments, and it’s goddamn hilarious.  There’s the perfect combination of angst, smut, and fluff and I’ve read this about 10 times since I discovered it a couple months ago.  I suggest it even if you don’t ship Shklance tbh it’s that good.

Summary: It’s the summer after high school graduation, and Lance, Hunk, and Pidge are spending three months together in Pidge’s sleepy California hometown, Rosewood, before they all go their separate ways in life. It’s supposed to be fun and relaxing, filled with long days at the beach and even longer nights playing video games; a last hurrah with Lance’s best friends.But when one of Pidge’s ridiculous cryptid searches leads the trio to a mysterious pair of vampires in the woods and the web of magic and murder that they’re entangled in, the summer gets a lot more complicated…and more dangerous than they could’ve imagined.

Like I said, I’ve got 118 bookmarks so if you guys wanna pop into my asks or messages and see if I’ve got something specific, please do!

[dr-gloom]

Fall Apart

Ch 2

Pairing: platonic Analogical, mentions of past Prinxiety

Fandom: Thomas Sanders, Sanders Sides

Tags: Human AU, Asexual Virgil, mentions of a breakup, mentions of depression, very brief mention of self-harm

Words: 3,512

A/N: It’s based off of my personal experience with my most recent breakup. Convos are nearly word-for-word, Logan is my friend, my ex is Roman, and I’m Virgil. Please Enjoy! :) Fic is under the cut to save space on your dash. <3

Read it on AO3

fic masterlist

like what I do? buy me a coffee or GoFundMe

Virgil sat on his bed, staring at the screen of his laptop with a soft numbness that had settled in his bones hours ago when he’d first realized what happened. It was 11 PM and he’d been sitting in his room, in the dark, since he’d woken up to the messages on his computer.

It was summer break - well, as much of a break as you get between summer semester and fall semester, which was 3 weeks - and he’d barely heard from his boyfriend the past couple weeks. He knew that Roman had gone out of state to visit an old friend for a week, so he’d been expecting the week-long disappearance. What he hadn’t been expecting, what hurt, was that once Roman came home he ghosted Virgil for nearly two weeks. Virgil sent him messages occasionally, telling himself that Roman was just busy, or maybe he really hadn’t come home yet. Only small messages, like ‘hey, hope your day’s going well’ and ‘message me when you have the time. i love you’. He’d scarcely get a response, maybe a ‘sorry, been busy, school’s starting soon’ and that was fine. He understood. He could wait.

At least, that’s what he tried to tell himself. In the late hours of the night his anxiety whispered to him, telling him ‘he’s cheating on you’ ‘he doesn’t love you anymore’ ‘he never loved you’ . He’d chase these thoughts away with Disney movies (something they both loved) and the Dear Evan Hansen soundtrack blasting through his earbuds. When the rest of the house was dark and his mother asleep, the anxiety would chew at his stomach and make his head fuzzy. ‘He finally realized that you’re not worth it. That you’re never going to put out. You knew sex was important to him and you let him lie to you because you loved him too much. It’s only a matter of time before he tells you the truth.’ He’d make the voice shut up by scrolling through their messages and reading over the countless times Roman told him that he didn’t mind that Virgil was ace, that he loved him for him, not for his body, and he didn’t mind being best friends with his left hand (something Roman’s theater friends teased him with relentlessly, but it was all in good fun; they liked Virgil and were happy for Roman).  

'You’re clingy. Annoying. You try too hard. Or do you not try enough? Maybe both.’ He’d turn off the lights, close his laptop, and cry himself to sleep because they wouldn’t stop until he finally fell unconscious.

Almost two weeks of silence, and then, a message sent 4 hours before he woke up.

after all the thought. i can't string you along into my bullshit anymore. i just can't. i realized it's just always going to end up like this. and yeah it sounds shitty, and yeah this really fucking sucks. but honestly, i'd rather be the bad guy rather than constantly stringing you along and hurting you in the process. it's not fair to you, it's not fair to anyone. no matter how much i like you, it just can't be, unfortunately. and by all means hate me, vilify me, anything you want. i'm just not going to do this anymore. just no more of this. i'm not running away, far from that. i'm facing this rather than hoping that maybe something will change, anything, so that i can continue like nothing is wrong. i can't do it. you don't deserve this. i'm ending it before it gets too far and you get even more hurt than you are now. so this is it. this is the last time. i'm not doing this again. and you won't have to either.

Virgil had felt groggy when he opened the messenger app on his phone, but not even 20 words in, he was wide awake. He stared at the message for what felt like hours before frantically typing, his heart racing and one thought in his mind; ‘ no no no no no not this please anything but this’ .

What are you talking about? Are you breaking up with me because you're gonna be busy??? Cause that’s not a problem, I get that people get busy, I’m willing to wait. Whatever this is we can work through it, can’t we? You haven’t even talked with me about it.

He felt like his world was caving in. He sat up in bed and grabbed his laptop, shakily pulling it into his lap and opening it up. The first thing that he sees once his screen lights up is Roman’s message on his Facebook tab, and he immediately opens Tumblr to distract himself. He ignores the few tears that slip, and the trembling in his hands. He tries to ignore the thoughts in his head, his doubts, how his mind screams at him ‘you knew this would happen, you knew and you did nothing.’

It takes a couple hours of Tumblr and putting on Pocahontas to make him clam down, but he isn’t at peace. He’s numb. He watches three more movies, sitting with his laptop in front of him, and lets his mind wander.

The call had come out of nowhere. Virgil had been distracted on Tumblr, occasionally switching tabs to answer Roman on Facebook. It was a pretty normal chat, just talking about their day. Roman had spent all day with his theater friends at dress rehearsal and unwinding at one of their houses and Virgil had gone to his summer classes. He hated that he had to take them and waste his chance of a summer with Roman, but if he wanted to get his Associates next spring it had to be done.

Roman said something about calling, and Virgil had agreed, not really paying attention as he went back to tumblr. Then, his phone vibrated beside him and he picked it up, answering immediately when he noticed it was Roman.

“Hey.” He went back to scrolling as Roman replied. “Hey, Virge. I wanted to talk about something pretty serious.” Virgil hummed, sharing a post.

“Well, you know that you’re ace, and... I’m not.” Virgil blinked and paused. ”...Yeah?”

There was a pause, and Virgil could imagine Roman nodding to himself on the other end. “I just wanted to... Talk about boundaries.”

Virgil clicked the down arrow on his keyboard, sharing some picture drawn by an art blog he loved. “Oh. Yeah, sure.” He didn’t understand why it was an issue. They'd been dating for six months, Roman knew Virgil was sex-repulsed, knew he wasn’t going to put out or reciprocate or even want to be... touched like that. Hell, Virgil used to vent to Roman when someone would get into that debate with him, or when a guy would break up with him over it.

“I just want to make sure that I don’t... Do something wrong. So... What’s okay to do?”

Virgil sat back on his bed for a moment, chewing his lip. “Well... You know sex is out of the question...” There was a hum on Roman’s end. “And... I don’t want anyone to touch my downstairs mix-up. Just, no. I’ll never touch anyone’s... stuff either. Uh..... make-outs and cuddling are okay...”

“Okay. I just... Didn’t want us to be... y’know, and then suddenly you’re like ‘whoa, where’s that hand now?’... I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

This was kind of weird for Virgil. He’d never heard Roman so hesitant and serious. Well, he’s heard the other being serious, when it really mattered, but the way he was talking, it seemed like he was afraid to offend Virgil. “It’s fine, really. If you ever did anything I’d tell you. You know that.”

He sits up and goes back to Tumblr while Roman talks. “I guess I just ....” The rest faded out as Virgil got distracted by his laptop, not paying much attention. In the back of his mind, he felt bad. He’d never tuned out the other when they talked before; he loved hearing Roman talk. He shook his head and tried to focus on what his boyfriend was saying.

”-and I just don’t want things to get bad, or weird.” Virgil hummed and thought of what he could say. He didn’t want Roman to know he wasn’t listening... “Well... I mean, you’re seriously one of the most considerate people I know, and you know what my whole ‘deal’ is, so.. I guess I just don’t see why this is so important?” He was honestly kind of lost as to why this was a Serious Talk, capital S T, when it was old hat for them.

“I get why it’s not super important to you, ‘cause this is all old news to you, but... It’s important to me. I want to do right by you.”

The next few minutes are a blur to Virgil. He can’t remember what was said now, and he doubts he even knew what was said in the moment. He’d been such an ass, tuning out Roman like that when he was obviously stressing.

“Well... Given what we’ve talked about and everything.... I think I’m going to need time to think. I’m sorry, I’m going to have to cancel our movie date tomorrow, and I’ll be going to visit a friend out of state next week, so I can’t make that date either.” They’d had a weekly movie date since they’d gotten together, and they were rarely cancelled, since the two spent a lot of time apart, going to different colleges and all.

Virgil feels his heart sink, but he keeps his tone casual to not let Roman know. “Yeah, okay. Let me know when you’re free.” And then they hung up. Neither had said goodbye, or ‘I love you’, which they always, always did. At the time, Virgil hadn’t thought much of it.

Virgil scrolls through their Messenger chat silently, reading over the messages, trying to think of where he went wrong, what he missed. He scoffs at an unanswered message he sent a few days before their talk.

fucking-

I’m literally in tears rn because my mom yelled at me

I was trying to talk to her but she was blasting the tv 'cause apparently she’s partially deaf when she sits in front of the tv or whatever

And I asked her to turn it down so she yelled

And I’m crying like a little bitch

Roman hadn’t answered until the next day, saying sorry for missing the message and sorry that Virgil had to go through that.

It was the first panic attack he’d had alone since they’d gotten together, but it wasn’t the last.

Virgil continued scrolling up, up, up. For days all he saw was him complaining. He’d been having a really bad month, and Roman had been busy with the coming play, so they almost never saw each other in person, and Virgil’s stress was making his depression and anxiety skyrocket.

‘Stupid, you’re so stupid. All you ever do is complain. No wonder he’s gotten sick of you. You’re a fucking depressing mess.'   Virgil wipes his eyes and keeps going.

At the beginning of the month:

Virgil: Hey

Roman: yo, whats up?

Virgil: Watching Night at the Museum

Virgil: You?

Roman: on the phone with friends

Virgil: Oh should I let you do that then? No worries

Roman: ????

Roman: did you want something?

Virgil: I mean no, not really. Just wanted to chat

Virgil: But if you’re busy idm

Roman: i’ll call you up when i’m done

He never had.

Virgil felt like an idiot that night. He’d cursed at himself for bothering Roman so much, for being clingy when the other was a busy, happy, normal human being with more than three friends who liked to talk to him on a normal basis because he wasn’t fucked up like Virgil was. And yet....

And yet, that had been the first time Roman hadn’t immediately dropped what he was doing to talk to Virgil. ‘Karma’s a bitch’ he thinks as he keeps scrolling.

Virgil: I miss you too. ♥

Virgil: Definitely having movie night tomorrow

Roman: yeeeeee

Roman: honestly are you free rn?

Roman: can i just waste your time for a bit?

Roman: or nah

Roman: that's fine if nah because i'm chill

Roman: chiller than ice

Virgil: I’m free, totally

Roman: nice

He smiles slightly. Roman could be such a dork.

Virgil: I just got sad because I realized one day I’ll finish the Family Guy game

Roman: ....

Roman: i’m not judging

Roman: but honestly that’s so cute and silly

Virgil: omg

Roman: i shan’t tell a lie

Virgil: Lies.

Roman: pfffff

Roman: sure

Virgil: Mwahahaha

Roman: wow you’re in a silly mood

Roman: i love ur silly moods

Virgil: Yeah idk why honestly

Roman: lol rip

Roman: i want to experience this

Virgil: Rip

Virgil: Let’s see, what’d I do today?

Virgil: I drew a picture of an anemone

Virgil: Then I did math

Virgil: Then I got mad at shitty drivers

Virgil: Then I ate popcorn

Virgil: Then my mom got moody

Virgil: Then I ate dinner

Virgil: And a frosty

Virgil: Maybe that’s it

Roman: i blame the frosty

Virgil: lolol

Virgil: Guess what I just learned to play?

Roman: the thong song

Roman: gay bar

Virgil: lmao no

Roman: those are my only good guesses my dude

Virgil: Riptide

Roman: i was gonna guess that too but thought against it

Roman was the only person who never looked at him weird when he was actually happy. He'd been with Virgil as a friend when his depression was worse than it was now, talking him through tough nights. He was the only person who never got mad at Virgil for self-harming; Roman just told him that he was sad Virgil was hurting enough that he was doing this to himself. He'd been the first to tell Virgil that he loved all the things the other hated about himself. The first to make Virgil think maybe I'm not that fucked up after all. Virgil had finally seen himself through someone else's eyes and actually started to like himself, if only a little. Virgil wipes the tears that’d started to fall and looks at the time. It’s well past dinner, and Virgil hasn’t eaten, but he doesn’t really want to. At some point he’d noticed that Roman had come back online, but he never responded to Virgil’s messages. He feels a small flame of anger in his chest before it’s quickly doused, and his mind starts running a mile a minute.

‘He doesn’t love you, he never did. He’s so sick of you he won’t even respond. He didn’t give you a choice because he’s done with your shit, all the complaining, the depression, the anxiety attacks over nothing . You’re too clingy for him, and yet you’re too distant to be anything more than some ex-classmate he’d see in the hall. Who would want to be stuck with that the rest of their lives? Especially when he’s getting nothing out of it? Seriously, sex is such a huge basis of any romantic relationship, and you won’t even give him a handjob. You have nothing to offer him. It’s surprising he hasn’t left sooner.’

Virgil is crying openly now, breaths shuddering past his bitten lips like a breeze through an old shutter. Without thinking, he scrolls back to the most recent messages and rereads Roman’s message before writing frantically.

Is it because I’m ace? Because of that talk we had a few weeks ago? Or is it because I’m not a theater person? Or because I’m depressed? My anxiety? Was I too clingy? did I try too hard? Or not hard enough? What was it???

He hits send, but a window pops up on Facebook, telling him ‘this person isn’t available right now’. Virgil blinks as more tears fall, his chest tight. He hits send three more times, getting the same message. He’s confused; even if Roman’s offline he’s always been able to send a message. He notices his friend Logan online and opens a chat window. He’s smart, he’ll know what’s up.

Virgil: Have you ever tried to message someone on Facebook and it tells you “this person isn’t available right now”?

The reply is almost instant. Logan never leaves him hanging.

Logan: Yes. I believe it means the person has blocked you, though I cannot say with 100% certainty.

Virgil feels the world fall away, the only thing left being the bed under his legs and the laptop in front of him as he responds.

Virgil: Oh

Virgil: Okay

Logan: They could be on Do Not Disturb.

Virgil: That’s Skype, not Facebook

Logan: Then again, Facebook was once extremely “buggy”.

Logan: It would give me such notifications on my laptop, but not on mobile.

Logan: So don’t be too certain.

While Logan had been typing, Virgil had opened another tab and searched “what’s it mean when facebook tells you ‘this person isn’t available right now’?”. As expected, multiple sources state that the chat has been deleted and/or the person has blocked you. Virgil gripped his shirt with one hand, chest hurting, and went back to the Facebook tab to reply to Logan.

Logan: Who is it?

Virgil: Roman

Virgil: I guess we’re exes now?

Virgil: Though he didn’t give me a say in that

Virgil takes a deep, shaking breath.

Virgil: I just looked it up, he blocked me

Logan: ...

Logan: Wow, that was fast.

Logan: May I ask what happened?

Virgil: I have no fucking idea

Virgil: He messaged me while I was asleep

Logan: Oh. Well... I don’t know what to say.

Virgil: Hold on...

Virgil copy-pasted Roman’s last message to him into the chat with Logan and sent it. For a brief second he hoped it’d say “this person isn’t available right now” so that he’d know it was a glitch. The message sent, and Logan replied.

Logan: Oh. Shit.

Logan never swore. Ever. He was succinct, precise, only said what needed to be said in as few words as it took. He saw swear words as unnecessary. Virgil let out a choked sob before replying.

Virgil: That’s what I fucking woke up to

Logan: I am confused. Is this because you do not spend much time together?

Virgil: You know, I thought that wasn’t a problem

Virgil: The last conversation we had that was longer than a couple of minutes was about how he’s sexual and I’m not

Virgil: And he wanted to know my boundaries so he doesn’t accidentally pressure me

Virgil: So yeah

Virgil: Pretty sure it’s just another fucking person who can’t stand me being ace

A memory flashes behind his eyelids. Sitting on the opposite end of the couch from Roman, moments away from an anxiety attack because he was so nervous that this would ruin everything. His eyes shut tight, ready to be rejected, and flying open when he heard Roman’s soft laugh. Roman taking his hand and telling him, “I love you for the person you are. Not the body you’re in. So I have a libido and you don’t, it doesn’t matter. I’m perfectly fine being best friends with my left hand for the rest of my life.”  Virgil had turned red, and Roman had laughed and kissed his forehead before they turned back to watch Mulan.

Virgil: He always said he had no problem with it, that his left hand would be his best friend, and me being comfortable was more important than anything

Virgil: I guess he changed his mind

Virgil: I’m just done

Virgil: I’m sick of people thinking they can handle this and breaking my fucking heart when they realize they can’t

Virgil: I’m done with relationships

He knew this was a lot. He knew it wasn’t fair to dump this on Logan, the one person he knew who didn’t really do emotions, but he was the person who was here, and Virgil needed to get this out before he exploded. Or did something worse. The little box in the drawer of his bedside table sang to him, and he was acutely aware of where it was in proximity to his body, as if it was all that existed outside of his immediate bubble.

Logan: Wait, was this specifically about sexuality?

Logan: Sometimes people think they can handle dating asexual people, and they realize what it entails.

Logan: I'm sorry, but I have to sleep soon. I'm heading to Bakersfield tomorrow. Stay safe and don't do anything irrational please.

Logan: Text me tomorrow.

Virgil: Ok

Virgil shut his laptop, staring up at the ceiling. He felt numb. He felt like he was being washed away by the ocean, like he was drowning. He felt like he was being torn apart and burned alive and so many other things he couldn’t describe.

He grabbed the box.

‘Don’t do anything irrational’.

Loving someone as perfect as Roman was irrational.

He let out a shaky sigh as the small glass shard split his skin.

He falls apart.

[journal-kyanite]

Today, I made a to do list, but I didn’t finish the full thing. I did a nice QT, I did some Lego building and some book reading (more than the 10 pages I set for myself 🥺 so that’s good).

I did talk to Lion here and there today and ugh was it nice.

I played Elden Ring. I suck at it.

I got the sequel to Crescent City in the mail and bought some more Amazon books 😳

I may be going insane.

I didn’t do much writing. I did journal some which is nice. I did it with stickers. It looks good. I added some BTS stickers and that made me happy.

Rn I’m reading “Sorcery of Thorns” by Margaret Rogerson so I hope I finish it and I hope it’s good. So far I like it.

I hope Tuesday works out. I’m excited. And I hope that me and Lion can hang out more over the summer. I need to talk to him more in person. He’s an amazing person. 🙈🌸 I don’t even have a favorite thing about him other than I’m so glad I have him in my life and that he’s extroverted enough that he came up to me that one day. It feels like a God thing, and I knew God would put me and my person together, I hoped for it, but it wasn’t a sure thing. I wanted Ti meet my person and instantly connect. (I did with Lion but I still worry that he’s not my person. Ugh. Like. What would Lion like about me anyway? I’m not interesting. I’m not cool. I’m not intelligent. I’m lame and ugly. I suck at video games. I feel like that’d be disappointing. I have my PS now which is so freaking cool.)

I also thought that I would feel drawn to my person, like, it’s hard to explain, but I thought i would have a connection with him that was felt by both of us, and that we would just know we were each other’s person. I think that’s why I feel so comfortable with his hand on me. I like his hand on me bc it feels warm, and cozy and comforting. Just his presence is comforting but I gotta be honest, I haven’t seen him in person in two months and I could be daydreaming and thinking I have a connection when there really isn’t anything there. I need to be cautious about my interactions with him and not get obsessed. I also don’t want to be creepy and write about him specifically so much- like Jojo rn bc I really want to be friends,,,, very good friends that laugh together and hang out and can talk about anything before something more happens. The time I talked to him on the phone, he didn’t seem very interested ig.

I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t care enough to talk with me even when doing chores and things. Like, I like talking on the phone when I’m going to the store or just doing daily activities.. that sort of thing but he seemed a bit annoyed at me and in a rush, even though I felt the conversation was important to have- it was important to have to me anyway so I hoped he would honour that.

People are not store merchandise that can be bought and then if defective or unwanted is taken back. Ugh.

Further, I want to be closer to him. I love talking with him, but ig the possible “something more” can’t even happen rn bc we don’t even know where each other wants to live and what our lifestyles look like ig. There’s so much we don’t know about each other and id think that’s a good thing.

🌸xoxo🌸

kyanite

[jungblue]

OSIDJDJSIEISJS HELLI AGAIN ITS ME THE ANON YOU WANTED!!!! OMFGGGGG WHAT DID I TELL YOU????? I TOLD YOUUUUU !!!!!! THIS FIC FUCKING SCARRED ME PUNCHED ME IN THE GUT RIPPED MY HEART ATTACKED MY SOUL AND THREW ME INTO THE PACIFIC OCEAN I WAS THAT TRAUMATIZED. I was SO sad when the OC ended up alone..I was REALLY hoping she'd get back with either Jungkook or Jimin, or the least make up with Sohee but no...I....I literally have no words. I stopped reading the fic ever since it completed but

I always came back to it and left anonymous comments to the author, mentally wanting to strangle her because of her story left me really upset and I couldn’t stop thinking about it even now. But I always thanked her for writing such a realistic fic, and it’s because it’s written in that way, it makes cheating seem scarier and more destructive that it really is. It broke apart friendship, trust and everything that was binding those friends. I can’t re read the last few chaps because it was so sad

i’m going to reply to every few sections each bc if i try to do this in one go at the very end my thoughts are going to sporadic and messy lmao. but anyways… HOW COULD YOU REC ME THIS. IT LITERALLY TORE MY HEART OUT ONLY FOR THE AUTHOR TO DANCE ON IT WITH SOME METAL CLEATS. LIKE YOUR GIRL WAS HURTINGG. like you said, i’m just upset for the oc. she ended up alone and lost everything. whereas with jungkook he still gets to talk to jimin (well like he’s also stuck in a relationship he didn’t really wanna be in so he got his karma too but still) and it just feels like at the end of it she truly has nobody

And I absolutely hated how Sohee too revenge by getting pregnant. Like what????????? And I literally prayed to God that it was a lie, because she was behaving like a real pain in the ass but at the same time…I really felt how much she loved Jungkook. Her love for him was pure, even her friendship with the OC was pure, but something about Sohee’s past relationships and even how she LITERALLY was the final push to Jungkook’s and Seulgi’s relationship, rubbed me in the wrong way. I felt horrible

NO I DISLIKE SOHEE A LOT. i didn’t like her’s and jungkook’s relationship bc it was all about status to the both of them. she thought that it was alright to help jungkook cheat on seulgi just ‘bc he was hot.’ and whenever she talks about him to the oc she treats him like an airhead jock. she says she loves him so much, but i don’t get why when she thinks of him so simply. like he makes her happy and comfortable i guess, but she doesn’t actually see him. and i’m just gonna say i usually hate that type of plot point. the trapping someone in a relationship through pregnancy plot point, bc i mean it’s just psychotic and usually isn’t done well, bc the character who does it seems cartoonishly evil. but sohee actually doesn’t. she seems like she’s just a real and insecure person who was ready to settle down and marry jungkook before she found out about the cheating and that was her last effort. LIKE I STILL DISLIKE HER BUT WHATEVER

For Jimin a LOT, because he reminded me so much of Future Hearts Jimin, because he was SO selfless and he loved the OC unconditionally really. He was the perfect boyfriend, and I felt my heart sink when Jimin found out about the cheating. I just couldn’t function anymore. He didn’t deserve any of that. He was such a good person, a good brother, a good boyfriend… why is it that all the good people get hurt? ;;;;;;;;;; BUT I HAVEN’T TALKED ABOUT JUNGKOOK YET GOSH. I had opinions about him 

POOR FUCKING JIMIN!!! AND YEAH HE REMINDED ME OF FH JIMIN TOO :( honestly i had a really hard time reading the part where he was going through jungkook’s notebook of poems to the oc. like it hurt to read about him finding out and god it was just awful. he didn’t deserve that at all. he didn’t every possible thing he could to be a good boyfriend to the oc. uhggg it really did make me mildly nauseous seeing him get hurt like that

Because he was such a complicated, mysterious and broken individual. The way he derived his sense of inspiration from his past relationship with his mother hit my heart like a bulldozer. I found myself sympathizing him many times, even though he was clearly in the wrong and the lines between his needs and wants was blurred. I felt so sad for him, and yet I wanted to smack him when he was so ready to leave Sohee even when she loved him so much. But I also understood that Sohee didn’t understand J  

Jungkook the same way as the OC did. I blame Jungkook because he exposed his past and his feelings to the OC first, and he could have easily had done that in the two (?) Years that he has been with Sohee. But I still think Sohee would see him more of a hot jock, nevertheless. I felt so sad for him though, he ended up with someone he didn’t love but it was his fault at the same time. But I still found myself drawn towards him, even if his morals were a bit crooked.

jungkook’s character was so hard for me bc i hated that i liked him. like what he was doing was absolutely awful, but the way the writer wrote his character made me sympathize with him. and the way the author used this along with the build up of the oc and jungkook made me not as angry as i should’ve been when they cheated the first time. instead i thought to myself, but i like them together??? but it wasn’t me liking them together bc their partners were awful, no that’d be too goddman easy lmao, it was bc they just FIT TOGETHER. like jimin’s great and perfect, but she she fit with jungkook so well. AND I’M ANNOYED THAT I THINK THAT BC GOD WHAT DID WAS AWFUL AND I’M MAD ABOUT IT. as for sohee, i again just think that she sees him as a hot airhead jock, so that’s why jungkook didn’t tell her. but it’s like you said he could’ve, and it’s also his fault bc he was more or less with her in the first place so similar reasons of her simply being attractive. their relationship was just messy to me, not like jimin and the oc’s which i fully loved

But it didn’t happen. I legit cried the laat chapter, because I wanted her to be with someone, I didn’t care who it was. I know it’s really shallow for me to say that haha. But instead she found herself, and I was also happy with that too.. because in the end you need to forgive yourself first before you can move on with life right? Ufff I can go on and on about the characters but it’s been months since I last read and I can’t write in a scholarly, fancy and critical way that you can! Okay so

no but same :(( i just wanted her to be with someone, which yeah is probably really shallow of me, but i just read 90k of fic from her pov so how could i not sympathize with the fact that she’s completely alone. i am happy that she found herself but i’m not gonna lie and say that i’m happy that she didn’t end up with jungkook or jimin (specifically jungkook) bc i think that they could have made it work. and lol i promise i can’t write critically without inserting my emotions into this fic. i’m a mess rn lmao

Enough about the characters, now the writing!! Gosh the quality of writing was soooooooo good!! It had the right pace, it had a perfect balance between suspense drama and romance, every chapter was such a ride to read, and the compositions oh my God!! I asked the author and she said she wrote all those beautiful poems! Wow, talk about talent, huh? Her descriptions were so real I literally felt in the moment, i could literally feel the pain from the characters on to me, I could hear their heart

breaks, I could taste the tears streaming down Jungkooks face when the OC told him to leave, I could feel the tension when the OC and Sohee met at the coffee place for the last time, I felt everything crumbling down on me when Jimin fought with Jungkook when he found out..I think the best part of her writing was how she able to make everything realistic. Like cheating is a realistic thing no doubt, but there are sO many layers underneath that. People can just say “oh it’s just a breakup move on”

But NO. Cheating is more than hurtful, it’s something that can break, tear, cripple someone’s feelings and fringesofsanity was able to write that in such very realistically. Anyone who reads this story can able to relate. Fanfic writers always like to put a dramatisized spin to cheating, and it ends happily with the person forgiving the other, but not in this story. Gosh I really hope you, and none of the people on this planet experience what the 4 characters did. It’s too hurtful, too painful.

yes yes yes i completely agree! her take on cheating and how it affects the people around the act was so realistic and beautifully written. and as much as i’m bitching about the fact that the oc is alone, i appreciate that the ending feels real, bc after something so traumatic happening to the four of them, it’s just unrealistic to think that everything would be happy and perfect. BUT I CAN STILL BE SAD ABOUT IT DAMMIT :((

I’m SO happy you liked this fic. And how can anyone not? The whole idea of the story’s imperfect characters, the cheating, the consequences…but the angst was just a way too much on the heavier side for my weak heart..well cheating is pretty heavy so can’t help it. And it just goes to show how love is such a dangerous emotion indeed. The people who loved unconditionally in this story, were left truly heartbroken. All of them loved each other unconditionally, whether it be friendship wise or

Or romantically. Look at Jimin, poor poor soul. I just wanna wrap him up and hug him forever. As for JK, even though I luh him so bad and he’s my bias, I feel really conflicted about his character. But I feel bad for him too you know… Sheesh I must be filling your anon box too much. Well I could write more but I don’t want you to get bored. I’m so happy you liked this fic! Thank you for boarding the ship of pain and misery, my friend!

EVEN THOUGH IT MADE ME REALLY SAD THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR THE REC BC I HAVEN’T GOTTEN MY HEART TORN OUT LIKE THAT IN SO LONG. just oh god it’s just so painful :(((( lmao i’m so sad but i’m happy that i got to read a fic like that ;;;;;;