#sorry I'm so negative lately

[brendonloverurie]

I've felt so lonely and isolated here lately. I know it's literally all in my head, because everyone here loves me. 💅 but just because somethings all in your head doesn't mean it doesn't bother you. 💔

[joelscruff]

the amount of anxiety this site gives me lately is ridiculous

[terezicaptor]

everyone is being so pessimistic about frubbo jesus christ...

You guys are all entitled to your opinions but holy shit you are depressing the fuck out of me acting like there's zero possibility of frubbo later and acting like tubbo doesn't want fred in his life anymore

Maybe this is just me being emotional or something but... I feel like the love is worth it even if it has risks. And we all know tubbo prioritizes sunny over anything so it's not like him choosing between her and fred will ever be a thing...

The frubbo arc continuation shouldn't happen now bc it won't fix tubbos abandonment issues obviously but like... that doesn't mean it can't pick back up later

Maybe I'm reading too heavy into your words but it is not completely doomed. I feel like there were so many chances to kill fred if they wanted to ultimately end the arc...

[zhongrin]

it's hackathon week next week and there are so many things i need to do (passport renewal, accommodation stuff, dental appointments, packing for flight, chores, etc), so i apologize if i'm kind of inactive or off in this blog or discord!!

[thehollowwriter]

I still remember someone doing parent hcs and for either Floyd or Jade or both they were like "it doesn't matter whether you want a kid or not, you're having one"

And I just

No?

Is that supposed to be funny?

The tweels wouldn't do that to their partner????

Forcing your partner to have a bio child they don't want is literally rape? And if it isn't a bio kid it's abusive af

They're high schoolers that are kinda bullies that doesn't equal literal rape and abuse?

[kozidraws]

.

[wejustvibing]

they lucky bc he be making anything look good

[marazhai]

why do you dislike bg3 so much? just curious, no judgement. all i've seen for the game so far is praise, so that's why i'm asking!

Oh, I don't dislike it, but I do think it's very much overrated. The only thing that separates it from the other cRPGs is that it has full voice acting (love it!) and mo-cap (I wish all that money and resources went into writing instead) but those two qualities are not what makes a cRPG good. Not to mention, they keep changing and adding stuff here and there to cater to their loudest fans and Reddit bros. Good for them, I guess?

[blatantlyhidden]

.

[raylex]

being uncomfortable with sharing sucks sometimes ;; it makes me feel like such a douchebag. I feel like I'm gatekeeping a fictional character 😭😭😭 I don't want to come across that way augh

[nervocat]

man.

[lucyvaleheart]

.

[madeimpact]

Uh, sorry for yet another post like this, but I think I might've thought of a healthier way of going about my bad brain thoughts lately.

If we're mutuals and we aren't interacting, tell me why. Even if it's "because you haven't reached out to me, wtf." I want to make more of an effort to engage with people. But I'm also scared of being annoying, so.

[hazbinsinners]

;; hey so. heads up

some stuff just went down irl / is going to go down in a little while and i feel like absolute fucking garbage lmao i've been shaking for the past thirty minutes. i wanna write to distract myself but i'm gonna be selective about what because my writing brain can only handle certain things right now. for at least today and possibly tomorrow, please do not pester me about threads or replies. i'll get to it, i promise.

for now, like this post for angel in your inbox, or a little soft fluffy starter or something. if you're on a sideblog you can comment the blog you want in the comments. it won't be my best writing i'm really just looking for a distraction right now. replies will be somewhat sporadic.

[polkadotpatterson]

could really use. idk. some good vibes or kind words or reassurances that people care about me for more reasons than just "wrote some cool fics back in the day" bc I can't even do that anymore and right now it's kinda hard to feel like my life is going anywhere good

[nattikay]

ok so um. There’s certainly plenty to be said about Way of Water, plenty of lil comments I want to make...but before I can post about any of that (separately), I just need to ramble about Neteyam a little bit. Bear with me. ;_;  (yes, this will be spoilery)

so the idea that Neteyam was going to die had already been pretty prominent in the fandom for several months. At first it seemed to me to be based on nothing but wild speculation for potential sad plot points. But the more and more promotional material came out, the more and more plausible the theory became, much to my dismay. By the time we reached release day, I had already (if reluctantly) resigned myself to thinking that yes, it was probably going to happen. 

And sure enough, it did.

Even going in knowing full well it was extremely likely to happen, even going in having 100% accepted that it was bound to happen and fully expecting it....gosh it still hurt to watch.

I will admit, I did not cry nearly as much as I expected to during this movie. I teared up a bit multiple times, definitely felt the physical heartache plenty, but nothing spilled over. I thought this was kinda weird, given that previously I’d shed tears even over certain shots from the trailer.

When Neteyam died and I absolutely felt my heart breaking in two yet tears still didn’t fall despite the emotional pain I was absolutely in, I realized why: I was just really dehydrated ^^;

see, worried about having to use the bathroom during the long runtime, I’d been very careful to drink as little as possible throughout the day. Well....it technically worked I guess. I certainly didn’t need to go to the bathroom. but it looks like it dried up most of my tears too (maybe not a wholly bad thing given that this was in public, I suppose).

....and yet despite that, DESPITE my dehydration........that ending???? that ending?????? let’s just say I STILL managed to leave the theater with a tearstained face

“bittersweet” is certainly A Word

just

m a n 😭

and I mean. from a writing perspective, I get it. I really do. The “before your birth, after your death” etc theme ran throughout the movie. Using an unrelated character to do it wouldn’t have as strong an emotional impact as using one of the core family. I get it. As a narrative choice, it makes sense.

but from an in-universe/character-pov perspective....gosh golly that hurt. that hurrrrrrrttttt and I don’t know if I’m ok. ngl i legit feel vaguely ill ;_;

My current job is fairly mindless work, so while I’m working my brain can wander. Naturally today my mind was on the fact that I’d been seeing the movie later so of course I thought a lot about it. Like I said earlier, I was already aware of the Neteyam-dies theory (well, no longer a theory I guess) and at that point had accepted it as inevitable, if depressing. I’d been trying to come to terms with it for a while already.

Those who have followed me long enough might know that there’s another movie I like called Wolf Children. It’s a beautiful movie, honestly, one that I appreciate very much, but have only watched a small handful of times because it makes me sob every single time. It’s about a woman who meets a...well, basically a werewolf (except that the transformations are voluntary), they fall in love and have two kids, but right after the birth of the second one the father dies in an accident, leaving the normal-human mother, to raise these two wolf kids on her own. And that’s most of the movie, following the family as the kids grow up until at the end of the movie all three characters go their separate ways. The ending always felt a little bittersweet to me because, even though both children are alive and well living their own lives, the mother is alone again, with only her memories. We saw the whole childhood, that special time as a family unit, and now that period of their lives is over.

That is, essentially, what I was expecting to be done with Neteyam. Watch his whole life, from birth to, well, in his case death. We see the whole thing and then it’s over, no more future with the rest of his family. Which hurts. And yes, that’s...more or less what happened.

While the two scenarios are not perfectly comparable, mentally framing Neteyam’s (then-impending, now-confirmed) death in terms of Wolf Children did actually help me cope with the then-theory. 

I have to remind myself that even though his story is over, and that it ended tragically, that what we saw...wasn’t everything. It was snippets. We saw only very few snippets. For long stretches in between those snippets. For roughly 15 years the Sully family lived more or less in peace. Neteyam had a happy childhood. He lived all that, even though we only saw it so very briefly. I have to remind myself of this, repeatedly.

because even knowing that, watching the tragedy...it’s...it’s hard...

i just...

i just...

and then that. that ending I--

I just--

my heart is broken, it is aching, i cannot ;_;