#sorry I went on a bit of a tangent there

[mylastundeadbraincell]

You are absolutely right, and I apologise for my poor phrasing. I wrote this post in the heat of the moment and didn't expect it to blow up the way it did tbh.

The main problem does indeed stem from the higher-ups being more concerned about making big money than good games, and as a result, treating their workers like crap. They want to release new games fast (and often cheaply), and they need them to fill a certain mould (i.e. whatever appears to be popular at the time, regardless of what the studio's area of expertise is). They restrict the developers' creative freedom and don't let them make the game they want to make, and that's how we often end up with games that lack substance.

The issue I have here though (and the reason I wrote this post in the first place) has more to do with the way some of these developers spoke up on the subject, shifting the blame onto either the players or Larian themselves. They make it sound like we only care about BG3 because of its large scale. Not true. We would have been just as excited had the game been half the size Larian is promising it's going to be. Also, we aren't stupid. Of course we're not suddenly going to expect small indie teams in the double digits to produce something as big as BG3. Hell, even AAA studios don't have to replicate that sheer amount of content.

What we care about is quality, not quantity. Is the story interesting? Are the characters compelling? Is the gameplay engaging? Based on what we've seen so far, it looks like BG3 is going to check all the boxes for many people. I'm not saying that it's going to be perfect, mind you (there's no such thing as perfect), but players have good reasons to be excited about this game beyond "big game = good game", which is a perspective that has been debunked many many times over the years and is actually another problem with AAA companies that continue to churn out massive - and too often empty - open world games.

Then there's the whole "Larian just got lucky" thing, which completely ignores the fact that they worked their asses off for six or seven years on a game from an IP they nearly couldn't get their hands on (a beloved IP that comes with extremely high expectations from the player base btw); that they had to work through a global pandemic, had to shut down one of their studios due to the war in Ukraine, and suffered multiple other setbacks (I remember reading about a flood and a power outage, IIRC); that they listened to the fans' feedback to create not only a game that they (Larian) wanted to make, but a game that we (players) want to play.

So yes, maybe the conditions that led to BG3 were unique, but they shouldn't be! And that's what AAA devs should strive for! They should be asking for more freedom and better working conditions instead of pushing for a narrative where it's the players who are being ungrateful for expecting quality content from a game they paid 70 bucks for (which, where I'm from is already a week's worth of groceries, so I can't even begin to imagine what that's worth in countries that are struggling financially)!

Triple A game devs really out there showing their asses, huh?

"BaLdUr'S gAtE 3 sHoUlDn'T bE tHe StAnDaRd"

And why the hell not? Why shouldn't players expect more than half-finished, bug-filled games with tons of microtransactions? Why should they settle for playing regurgitated copies of whatever games have been popular for the past ten years when they could be playing games that the devs were actually passionate about making?

When you have access to a bigger budget and more resources than Larian did when they made BG3, what's your excuse for shipping a broken, half-assed mess of a game?

[starrynightsxo]

at this point suzanne collins should just take my money. writing the hunger games trilogy is one thing but a prequel with the main villain of the original as the main character? I was SAT. then, to rob me even more, she writes a book about the mentor of the original games who, most of us, if not all, end up feeling some sort of, if not a certain, likeness towards him which is developed in that book, of course. I'm basically throwing money at her at this point. there's so much scope here and I will be SEATED each and every time I kid you not.

so what's next? because I sure as hell am waiting for it. finnick's games? certified banger. mags' games? forecasted success. annie's games? absoloutely yes. even wiress who has more mention in sotr?? the way suzanne collins gives us a trickle of someone's games, leaving room for her to create a whole new book (or more!) if she pleases is just incredible.

take notes everyone, take notes. I know I am.

"thank you suzanne" we all say in unison 🙂‍↕️

[heartcircus]

ngl i feel like it lowkey has to be planned? like, i feel like ros doesn’t want her character to be in yellow for some reason. and a lot of stuff over the last couple of days has slowly been pushing her out — i think she might actually attempt to redo her factionless arc since it was intended to be something longer if it wasn’t for sneeg and clown being so quick and active in helping her.

her conversation with aimsey where she said she values their and bad/pangi’s ways of emotionally validating her feelings more compared to clown and sneeg’s practical problem-solving — the creation of the ball with no help from yellow, noted multiple times by other factions, except for foolish getting the froglights — the null and ros losing her memories therefore losing some sort of connection/dedication to the kingdom — her becoming even closer to pangi and aimsey and naming them the most important to her — her returning and being upset that no one cleaned up the ball and her feelings being once again validated by aimsey and pangi who reaffirm that yellow take her for granted — pili joining yellow … it all feels like it’s piling together in a very purposeful way so that ros can revisit that arc

sorry if this doesn’t make much sense. i’m trying to get into tr!ros’s head and like. wow, if i was in her position, i’d leave too. i wouldn’t mind if she did either, i think she really does need a break. but i want this to extend to everyone. she really needs to get her thoughts and feelings together and evaluate what exactly she wants or what she wants to do at the very least. and even though pangi and aimsey are her very close friends, they are definitely biased and ros is very much easily influenced so. think it’d be best if ros also took a break from them (i don’t think she will because she’s likely become codependent on them … but that’s why she needs to get away from them even more. i need her to heal so badly please…)

it probably is to some degree . unfortunately (<- believer of improv lore)

. anyways rant below ↓ ^_^

i don't think pili joining yellow was necessarily intentional for the reason that foolish is the type of person to keep his enemies close. he knows full well that pili might betray and is ready to be stabbed in the back, i don't really think it's something intended to drive ros out. i think it's just average foolish behavior.

my main issue with this arc is the fact that it is so frustrating to sit there and see her character be put through the wringer time and time again when the latest and most pressing issues currently contributing to her despair are literally some of the easiest fixes ever. ros' problems are, as you said, mostly in relation to her factionmates not being there for her. however, it has an extremely simple solution that requires little to no effort being.. you'll never guess... communication!!

which, i understand, ros has struggled with this entire time. she doesn't want to feel like a burden and ask too much of her friends when she already feels like she cannot repay them for all they've done up until this point. But, again, the solution is as clear as day and has even been suggested by people she's now come to rely on such as bad and aimsey, making it seem like she'd be more inclined to considering it.

it's not that her teammates are unwilling to help her, it's that ros does not and will not ask for Any help from anyone except bad, aimsey, and now pangi. therefore, resulting in her relying on them instead of her once closest friends because she feels she has this debt she cannot repay. yk, despite them literally telling her they are not "keeping tallies" because that's not how friendship works. her leaving the kingdom would be a result of her slowly pushing these people away and leaving them on the back burner while instead getting closer to their once enemy team that literally stalked her down for weeks.

it's also not fair to say sneeg and clown are the type to immediately problem-solve instead of listen when both of them have spent hours listening to ros and just talking with her. when clown was training to fight pili, they talked for Nine whole hours. Nine. ros told him soooo much about how she felt regarding certain people and factions and everything in between that it's a disservice to disregard all the time he spent just Listening to what she had to say. sneeg has acted similarly in the past as well, namely the day they decided to boot owen from yellow, but there have been other times in the past as well. literally the Only reason they decided to have that confrontation that day (aside from prior planning if there was any) was likely due to the fact they were A. all around at the time and B. owen was still online.

i don't care if she leaves the kingdom, at this point i'm over it, but i care about ros pushing away the people closest to her because she feels indebted to them somehow. she does not see all the little things she's done for them as "payment" or equal to their actions in terms of worth and cannot bring herself to ask more from them because of it. if she properly sat down and talked with sneeg or foolish or that other guy if he was around and truly, wholeheartedly, spoke her mind, then this muddled confusing mess that makes up her head rn would be so much clearer.

sorry i got off topic . main point here is she's digging her own grave here and making herself lay in it when she definitely doesn't have to and there is certainly an out. i'd understand and be more cooperative with her leaving due to external pressures (owen, pili, stress, wanting a break, etc.) but when its something like this it becomes soooo goddamn frustrating at times

[reachexceedinggrasp]

I have a feeling you might relate to this or you might have even related this on your blog already, but I was just thinking of that Ghoul quotation water water everywhere and not a drop to drink

I think probably my favourite, maybe ever, quiet point of characterisation in a sort of villainous or Beast love interest is his or her having a poet's soul... whether that is conscious or unconscious romantic meditation. It's like Kylo musing to Rey when he says 'You have that look in your eyes. From the forest. When you called me a monster' I love that sort of wistful observation, especially because it evokes such potent imagery ('when we fought together in the forest and then you marked yourself on my face'). Or more literally something like Ghoul citing a line of literature, even when none around except for Lucy would know what he's referencing, it's for his own arrestment and amusement, this is how he sees/interacts with the world

I guess in that way, it reveals something new about their perspective on the world, even when they're somebody seemingly cut off from it - monstrous, othered, repellent, ugly - when they're able to articulate a certain beauty which other characters may not remark upon. It's sort of covetous in that sense, but I think it also sort of helps explain what might interest them about a Beauty, after all, there's something they long for and value (spiritual, aesthetic, existential beauty).

I thought you might be able to relate 🥰

Oh, totally. And with Cooper and Ben, specifically, which is a parallel I hadn't actually noticed until you've just pointed it out, we're being shown their sensitivity as characters. Not in the sense of being considerate, but that they're aware and alert to beauty and meaning in the world despite currently occupying a narrative role which might make us think they're simply destructive or nihilistic figures. And despite the cynicism they're both ostensibly espousing.

Cooper quotes or alludes to literature practically constantly relative to how little he speaks, forever knowing people almost certainly won't understand him, and that's especially fascinating because he didn't make those kinds of references in the flashbacks. We could take this in a whole direction about how he created the Ghoul as a character to shield himself from the things he had to do to survive and is living within a meta-narrative deconstructing the reactionary anti-hero who overtook the white hat sheriff he used to play in his movies. The anti-hero he never wanted to be. He makes allusions because his life has become a story he's telling himself to stay sane. He's his own wry Dickensian narrator making asides to an imagined audience about dramatic irony and social commentary.

And an important part of his presentation to others before the war was painting himself as not sophisticated. Just a cowboy and then just a guy who plays a cowboy in the movies. He wants nothing to do with politics either in an interpersonal or broader sense, and disclaims any pretensions to being savvy despite being in a theoretically powerful position as a rich, well-connected film star. I do think he was genuinely naive, but I also think he often played dumb to avoid social conflict. He was complacent and the image he cultivated helped him remain complacent. Obviously he was very willing to be confrontational when he saw wrong or injustice right in front of him (he goes after Bud Askins directly to his face about marines getting killed by shitty equipment, he challenges Moldaver when she calls him out), but pre-bombs he mostly uses his empathic perceptiveness and charisma to keep everyone around him happy.

In the wasteland we often see him doing the opposite and deliberately riling people up in order to gather information and assess or eliminate them as threats, but he's also only gotten better at disarming people when he wants to. As a handsome charming film star he pretended not to know anything, as a scary intimidating monster he pretends he knows everything.

What I'm wondering about here is whether Cooper always had a secret nerdy side and read all the classics as a teenager or perhaps while waiting on sets when he was working as a stuntman, or whether he wanted to fit in when he started to make it in Hollywood and so tried to become cultured before realising that wasn't what anyone wanted from him. Or if he just spent 200 years alone and read anything he could find as a way to cling to his humanity. We know he was at least a bit intellectually curious before the war, because of his reading and retaining some article about studies on torture.

But YES, him quoting poetry and being so interested and insightful about Lucy, specifically is a huge part of how he's framed as a romantic figure. And he's already by far the most romantic figure in the show. If it were solely about his tragedy, you'd think they would emphasise the contrast between his pre-fallen and post-fallen state by stripping him of his heroic trappings, but they don't. He's actually more romantic post-'curse'.

It also gets me because he's an extremely smart, socially adept person who doesn't let others see him for who he really is both consciously and unconsciously on multiple levels and that layers of identity shit is my crack. He was a profoundly honest man who thought he was simple, but actually he was a glorious maze of contradiction and complexity waiting to happen who has now come into his own as a master manipulator.

[cocoabubbelle-newblog]

Random Thoughts

I keep thinking about Season 3, Episode 2: “The Stuff of Heroes” of X-Men: Evolution, where Rogue saw her face on the news and is dismayed that she “looks fat.”

And, well…

I’m not sure if the writers forgot that her overall body shape looks like this…

Or this is the particular part they are referencing that makes her “fat.”

‘She has the biggest breasts of all the girls’ is what was written, btw.

In that same episode, before she made that comment, we already see some characters searching through the Brotherhood’s things and eyeing the size Fred/The Blob’s clothing, but apparently that wasn’t enough of a joke?

Anyway, maybe they had her say that to reinforce her low self-esteem, but c’mon. I love this show, yet while the amount of times they make fat jokes is not that much, it still seems to come out of nowhere with some of them 😅

Whelp, regardless of how truly bigger she is or not than the other female characters, Scott scooping her up onto his shoulder like she weighed almost nothing is always a treat to remember and see. 🥰🥰🥰

[butter-the-spark]

Shout out to Barry the Quokka from The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog, it's technically their birthday so happy birthday to them (I don't care if they're not real I WILL be wishing them a happy birthday by posting about it online)

I do not have a better picture of them, I would have drawn them but my motivation to draw recently has been zero and I also don't know how to draw sonic characters yet😓

[mossymandibles]

What's gender affirming care like on hallowed carrion?

Good question, it can be a little wild west out there, even just with regular hospice/holistic care, depending on where you’re at and which species or community you belong to. I’d say on Mors Astra (name of the planet), sexuality and gender expression can be as eclectic and varied as most animals/humans irl….Um, I guess I’m going to info dump about my individual trans characters and their experiences as well as how some of the main species would view it over all and hope that it answers your question. I’ll also be creating other sophont species that could have different views on things so there’s that too.

Also content warning ahead for forms of transphobia and gender dysmorphia topics.

For the Myce I’d say for the most part getting something like a cosmetic change is no biggie to them, as they don’t tend to have strict guidelines for gender expression. It probably wouldn’t go as in depth as it does with mammalians, surgically and medication wise. Their nerves and vessels grow back easier and such. Even their genitalia is strictly geared towards pleasure, like a miniature sexual mycorrhizal network of nerve endings. There’s no sperm or eggs involved. Their genitals may go by human guild lines in terms of appearance, but they can get pretty wild looking. I haven’t quite thought it through entirely just yet but I guess they might have their own form of T and E, if they cosmetically wanted breasts or a more phallic attachment, etc. I feel like they’d go more along the route of genetic expression rather than hormones though. There isn’t really a huge societal rift between who expresses themselves as feminine, masculine, etc. (although there could always be some strange cults and eccentrics out there!) I’d say to them it’s more important that you look conventionally humanoid. If you’re a bloom face (like Heidi), or have a tail/ horns or look more ‘animalistic’ and ‘othered’ for that matter, you’re more likely to face some stigma in certain regions populated by Myce. This derives from early on when the Myce were first coming into being. They were called changelings, ‘faefolk’, fairies, etc, and caused a lot of widespread fear and misconceptions. They associate such terms with being considered monstrous, diseased, etc.

They don’t reproduce like mammals, as they technically aren’t mammals, so luckily for them natal affairs and giving birth aren’t tied to any specific gender and are entirely up to the individuals who want to go that route.

*takes another deep breath*

In the case of Vveashuls, I think they’re a little more ‘traditional’ so to speak. (Tbh I think I’ve ended up expressing some deep seated frustrations with what I’m surrounded by everyday in them, oops! No fault of the Vveashuls ofc.)

With Vveashuls, many pockets of them tend to put a lot of value in procreation, having several kids, being able to breastfeed them on your own, etc. One should always put the family first.

In the past, while they lived on Zenith as one species, having litters and as many healthy kits as possible meant their survival. Often times their young would be culled by the Furies in order to keep their numbers down and keep them under control. Mind, not ALL Furies kept Vveashuls in servitude, just certain rooks.

Where they’re out from under the Furies control now, they hold pride in keeping big families, staying together, the next generation raised by the previous, etc.. A lone Vveashul is seen as strange, or that something is wrong with them. In the modern day, this creates a lot of pressures.

In Jago’s case, he grew up in a town of very traditional views; the idea of a Vveashul that can get pregnant getting rid of their breasts or their ability to give birth/ taking hormones was unheard of or seen as a selfish act of self mutilation. Males transitioning to females were seen as ‘useless’ or strange pretenders. Even just starting out, his family was very small, just him and his father.

Jago didn’t even really know what felt ‘off’ about himself until he met Kraw, Titus, Mayv and her crew. Puberty only made it more painfully obvious. Once he was old enough and sure of himself (this was after he and Kraw had parted ways the first time) It was very difficult for him to get any kind of treatment for such things geared towards his kind, even in Ladder occupied cities. He had to go under the table for most of his surgeries and medications, which put him in many dangerous situations. With his primary breasts still intact, he still feels like he’s not where he wants to be. The fact that the last surgeon to remove his secondary ones left him with obvious scars is frustrating as well. The whole process had just exhausted him overall. So he focused more on work.

On top of taking hormones, he would often have to take suppressors (yeah, those.) otherwise he’d go into heat and get all swollen and sensitive (it’s also fairly normal for female Vveashuls to take suppressors lest they deal with going into heat in day to day life, which can be very inconvenient in the modern day.)

He absolutely hates how he gets without the suppressors, as it only adds to his dysmorphia.

He’d occasionally have to deal with his old work mates making fun of him about it. They referred to him as a male, sure, but he still felt like they saw him as playing pretend. They would make comments like “oohh you’re grumpy today, are you off your meds?�� Where they were mostly Myce, they didn’t deal with the average hang ups of mammalian sophonts and usually found it strange or funny.

Jago wants to be completely severed from the idea of having and mothering kids, the expectations of female Vveashuls, etc. I’d go as far as to say he’s had legitimate tokophobia his entire life. But he’s feels somewhat apprehensive of further surgeries for the time being, at least until he finds someone trustworthy and experienced. Who knows! He might find one in Marrowtide.

*deep breath*

THANKFULLY, where he lives now with Kraw and the others in Marrowtide, he’s in a MUCH more accepting/progressive environment, so I’d say that definitely helps him with the dysmorphia and anxieties of how his body looks. Despite being intimidated by Sylvaine, he gladly take his hormones and suppressors from her, where she also supplies them for Kraw in order to temporarily stave off his occasional ‘rut’ aggression (they’re almost like a birth control). Even other Vveashuls in Marrowtide wouldn’t care that Jago’s gotten surgery. Most of them probably escaped to Marrowtide in order to get away from stifling environments as well.

Disclaimer ofc: I don’t see having kids/ a big family etc as inherently stifling or negative by any means, I’m only referring to harmful beliefs and pressures that may come from growing up in a family with very controlling traditional viewpoints.

In Durja’s case, pockets of Fury cultures vary from rook to rook (‘rook’ being similar to a clan). Most are matriarchal. Durja herself was a sentry and the occasional personal concubine for the ‘Crowned Matron’ at the time (matriarchal leader of the rook). They don’t really perceive being trans, only caring that you are strong and tactical. Though, I’d say if you were looking to transition to female it would be very dangerous, as most of the females would take that as a challenge. In that same way a female transitioning to a male might be seen as weak. Within the Furies species, most of the time the females are bigger, stronger and tend to be more aggressive, even possessing pseudo-penises. They’re also polygamous.

I’d say she’s gotten most of her ideas of what she wants for herself by having watched Sylvaine in relationships for a while, thus deciding she wanted to be loved romantically in such a manner rather than the usual domineering way she had been used to. Taking in the strengths she’d see among the female Furies and she’s got her own image she’s made for how she presents herself.

She hasn’t personally dealt with any type of body dysmorphia and wasn’t interested in taking hormones from Sylvaine despite her offering, deciding she was fine with herself. (In fact, having a noticeable bulge as a female would be seen as desirable among Furies and Sylvaine definitely doesn’t complain).

Anyway, I hope that gives some insight for how it may be in some regions of Mors Astra. I think I just like to imagine animal hierarchies applied to creatures with human intelligence is all idk lol.

[mirages-and-polar-ice]

Best way to spend a cold, dark evening (or any evening really):

• your drink and snack of choice

• lofi music & favourite ambience playing through noise cancelling headphones

• wrapped up in a blanket

• reading a book on polar exploration

• screaming, crying, throwing up about cold boys

[zylphiacrowley]

I must know what changes come over X'vahl when he's hungry

I just answered that one in the literal sense here, so I can get metaphorical with it if you'd like. Let me just queue up that Florence + the Machine song real quick (lol)

So hunger as more of a metaphor, like a deep longing or desire for something.

I feel like he tries to tell himself he doesn't want for much, and maybe he doesn't, but I think deep down he has a hunger for freedom. He gets anxious when he's stuck in a single place too long, like he needs to travel, he needs to see new places and absorb more knowledge about the people there (honestly Dawntrail was always going to be exciting for him even if it really was just a big vacation arc). I think that being the Warrior of Light has become a bit of a double edged sword for him in the sense that it has allowed him to more easily and freely travel to places he never could've imagined, but at the same time, being WoL and having that that compulsion to help anyone who asks has shackled him a bit more than he'd like. He's got this fight going on internally pulling him in both directions. Curious how this will play out for him in the future. Maybe he'll break, wouldn't that be fun to watch? :)

....Aaaaaaanyway, this ask might have gotten away from me a bit. ^^'

[anonwyvern]

I wrote this as a response to @dooobs previous ask in consideration to fics. I hope you don’t mind that I went ahead and put it in its own post! The small reply box was killing my eyes, lol

When I first started writing, I was used to reading fics around 50k in general, and I had a pretty loose standard for that. But the longer I wrote and evolved the story, I quickly realized that wasn't my flavor at all. As you've noticed, my fics are pretty long and have multiple sequels. Don’t set limits! If it’s short, it’s short, and if it’s long, it’s long! Do what feels right for the plot, the setting, and the characters development. Giving yourself a lot of elbow room by not having any set restrictions makes the creative flow so much more breathable in my opinion. I used to have goals, make lists, ect., but they really just made me disappointed in my shortcomings for not meeting them and thereby stunted my creative muse. I've found a pretty solid rhythm now when it comes to where I want to end a chapter, a fic, or the entire series in general, and that just comes naturally with writing a ton!

Ah, your second question used to haunt me a lot when I was in the trenches of writing my Middle of the Crossroads series. I had so much I wanted to tell, and so many characters I wanted to have fulfilling arcs for, but I quickly got overwhelmed by it and burned out super fast. Repeatedly. I've found, in my opinion at least, that having a few solid characters to write in-depth for was much more manageable and provided way more insight to the reader since they were so heavily focused. Charon and Evelyn’s relationship is the obvious centerpiece in Testament/Revelations, and it lets me draw out their personal arcs at my own pace since I’m not rushed to develop a handful of other characters at the same time and have them ‘fight’ for the centerstage or readers attention too much. I do sprinkle in other characters here and there with very small side arcs, like James and Dogmeat, but I don’t stress over their development, as they are the development for our protagonists. If you’re worried about the general length of the fic due to all of the things you want to write, then just write it! More is always better in my opinion. Who doesn’t want to keep reading what they already like?! I sometimes tell myself I don’t want to bog down my story by throwing in random events that don’t really contribute to the main plot, but then I tell myself I’m writing this to begin with because I want to know how my characters will handle the situation, and the whole point is to have fun with it!

Having said that, I try to keep in mind where I want the story to go. I don’t do outlines anymore, it’s all completely freeform and essentially made up as I go along, but!!! I do have certain scenes that are kept in my mind that I essentially use as a marker for the direction I need to take the characters in. And then that evolves from there. It’s probably a terrible way to write, especially when you’re publishing chapter by chapter, but it works for me. lol. It doesn’t restrict my plot, though, which is the biggest piece I found helpful for me.

Worrying about what your reader thinks is the biggest creative mind killer. I used to worry everytime I posted. I’ve stopped writing entire fics in general in the past cause I thought no one would care enough for me to keep writing them and I found it pointless. But while it is very nice to have readers, it’s even better when you write something that YOU want to read! I reread my fics all the time (mostly to catch pesky editing/grammar mistakes) but I love my own works! I should! I wrote them! lol. Seriously. Once you start writing from the passion of just having the story being made, it’s an entirely different ballgame. You will write so much it’s almost a curse. I’ve written thousands of words of my characters interacting that don’t belong in any of my fics, but I just wanted to write it for myself. The readers who want to read what you’ve written will read, I promise that, lol. Even if you have just one reader, that’s one whole human being who discovered your works and thought they were special enough to take the time out of their day, sit down, and read what you’ve written. I’ve been writing fics for years, and I mainly had a solid reader or two, and it’s only after those years that I’ve actually gathered a nice little following now. But I would have never written what I have if I personally just didn’t want my character to bang a hot ghoul with a splash of trauma/angst involved. Lol.

Write what you want to read, and read what you want to write!

[candyredappledragon]

Does Furret participate in Pokémon battles or are they moral support?

both actually! furret is a support pokemon! he has a moveset to help others and- ah sorry i got a "little" into competitive but you know for fun! florian inspired me to make a team that involves with pokemon i love and build it from there. though furret prefers to be my moral support. i grab him, hug him tight and i forget about my loss.

though some of my pokemon do enjoy the quiet and relaxing life so its a win-win for us! i leave some of them with my grandparents to help them around the house or do activities. i am very grateful for them!

[dykekingofhell]

omg you're so right about the claudia thing in the RT!! like he doesn't even like it when claudia makes that comparison and it's claudia!! she's also black, she's also having to deal with lestat at the time!! her making that comment feels completely different than a 3rd party. also you're so right about the sex work, there's definetly a huge sumn of his own guilt on it, because Armand personifies the violence he enacted upon others when in NOLA he used to barely even talk to his own workers

Yeah, I definitely think his guilt about his time as a pimp is going to linger over him and Armand's future relationship, but I'm interested in how explicit that linkage will be. I don't think this is something Louis will ever actually verbalize, considering he's only ever really admitted feelings of guilt during the confessional scene, after which he continued running brothels. Even in the scene where Armand tells him about his past, and dreamstat laughs/barks, he's not even verbalizing commentary in his mind. I saw another post refer to dreamstat in this scene as "pure id", a lashing out of the subconscious that is prereasoning, and I super agree. Even though I think Louis' own past and guilt is part of that subconscious soup, I don't think he's willing to really engage with that guilt consciously. Anyways, it's going to be INTERESTING to see how all of this interacts with the new (D/s?) dynamic that's brewing (see: yes, maître). I don't think Louis is purposefully "stepping back into the role of a pimp" like a lot of posts have (loadedly) claimed, but I do think he is being manipulative. When he calls Armand Arun, it's almost as if he is asking, "how can you know you want me if you don't even know who you are?" which is simultaneously an invitation for Armand to go through that work of self-discovery and gain a new self conception not based on someone else's eyes, but also positions Louis himself as a conduit for that which is definitely playing on Armand's emotional vulnerabilities. However, when Armand replies by calling him maître? UH THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GET WEIRD (and freaky) FOR BOTH OF THEM

[squarebracketsmileyface]

Letting u know that Jobless Monday by Mitski is Jay and Alex in Sorry Its Locked to me. I’m insane about this btw. Super Normal👍

Ow. Fuck you /pos

I'm so glad you're super normal about this anon. I'm so glad you were normal enough about this to tell me about it so i can be normal about it with you.

This got so long and i kinda went on a tangent, so, thingy:

you're so right tho. you're so so so right. Jay just wants to be seen with Alex, to be with him like a normal couple, even if the only people seeing it at the two of them. Sure it'd be nice if their friends knew or whatever, but even if it was just them being couply and in love in private would be better than what they currently have (in uni).

Jay doesn't care where they go, if they're just with their friends who they know will accept them, he just doesn't want to have to pretend like he and Alex aren't into each other all the time. He wouldn't care if they went on a walk in the woods and held hands with no one there to see, as long as they got to hold hands. He doesn't just want to be Alex's fuck buddy. He wants to hold his hands. He wants to go to lunch or dinner with him. Fe wants to kiss him on the lips. He wants Alex to kiss him on the cheek or the top of the head. He just wants to be Alex's boyfriend, his partner, not some dirty, disgusting secret Alex hides from everyone out of shame.

God they're so tragic. They're fucking awful. Jay just wants Alex to stop treating him like it'd be disgusting to date him, and Alex is terrified of what could happen to them if they were out at all, even to just their friends. So much could go wrong, they live in Alabama, it's the early 2000's, so fucking much could go wrong, he's not wrong to be cautious.

But that doesn't fully explain away why he refuses to be sweet with Jay even in private.

It's not all Alex's fault though. Like, yes it mostly stems from his fear of being out as queer in any way, but like, Jay's still kinda shit about it, yknow?

I need to write about why Jay wasn't great back in uni properly at some point, but none of my thoughts are properly coherent about it yet. At least not coherent enough to write into a fic yet.

I think I want to make it so that Jay was kinda pretty manipulative, and a lot more pushy with Alex than he lets on about to Tim (or even that he realizes himself) like, you know that bit in chapter 5 of Sorry its locked? where Jay, like, tries to physically force Tim to choke him? And they have to pause and be like, what the fuck? And Tim understands why Jay did it, but he's still really hurt by it because Jesus Christ Jay.

Like, you know that bit? Well I have plans about how Jay used to do that to Alex, not a lot, but like, it happened and more than once, with Jay physically forcing Alex to do stuff. and usually it was fine, like, Jay wanted to be slapped around or have his hair pulled, so he'd move Alex's hands into position to do that. And like, usually that was fine, that was just how they kinda worked and it was fine, those were things Alex was usually happy to do. But then one time Alex was trying to have a slightly less intense scene because he was already tired that day or whatever, and then Jay put Alex's hands around his neck, and Alex was very much not okay with that, but they were in the middle of something already and Alex was in a dominant kinda mindset, so he just punished Jay mid scene for trying to control what was going on, and then they carried on and that was it, they didn't talk about it.

But then after Jay leaves Alex just breaks the fuck down over it, because he realizes just how dangerous that could have been. like, he realizes that he could have really badly hurt Jay, that he could have killed Jay if he hadn't realized where his hands were.

My plan is that this happens near the end of Jay and Alex's fwb relationship, AND that Amy somehow walks in on Alex breaking down and having a full blown panic attack over how he could have really hurt Jay. So Amy has to take care of Alex through that, and she gets him to tell her what happened, so he does and she's the one that is kinda like, "dude, that's so not okay, what the fuck? He shouldn't have done that, and you said he's done stuff like that before? That's so not okay oh my god." and she's the one that convinces Alex to stop his and Jay's fwb relationship. She's so concerned for Alex's mental health (which she should be) and a little while after he breaks his and Jay's thing off, she kinda wants to show Alex what a healthy relationship should be like, and that's how those two start dating?

Also like, when I say Alex breaks down, I really really mean it, like, that guy is hyperventilating borderline wants to kill himself because holy shit he could have killed Jay what a fucking monster he is for not realizing sooner etc. etc. etc. Like, Amy has to zip tie all the draws with knives in shut because otherwise Alex is actually going to do something impulsive and hurt himself. he is very not okay, like that thing with Jay was the final straw and with it's weight he's breaking.

Amy is to Alex what Tim is to Jay in this au. Like, she only gets one side of the story so obviously assumes that Alex is completely innocent in his and Jay's relationship, and Jay is a total monster. Which isn't true, they're both terrible to each other.

Alex needs to listen to Jay more and make it safer for Jay to talk to him about things, because if he did that Jay wouldn't feel the need to manipulate Alex to get what he wants from him. It definitely all kinda stems from Alex being super closed off emotionally to Jay, right? But just because it starts with Alex, doesn't mean that by the end Jay was kinda arguably worse than him. Y'know? Like, they make each other worse.

But like, yeah, Amy does the whole "I can save him" thing for Alex that Tim does for Jay. She thinks she can fix Alex, and at first it seems like she can, y'know, he moves schools and they live together and everything seems pretty good, Alex does get better when it comes to how he expects a partner to treat him. But in the end Amy can't fix the Operator sickness stuff (which i guess she didn't know about at first and all that but still, once that becomes obvious to her---e.g. Alex starts getting a lot more volatile even with her--- she thinks she'll be able to talk him through that as well)

[madaqueue]

hai quinn ^_^ i must rant about this since me and my friend have talked about this au since they’re writing it and I MUST rant about it (using the title reader for this since it’s easier) .. greys anatomy au w dazai + reader, dazai being derek shepherd and reader being meredith grey (we have no idea who will be addison and mark so if u have any ideas then tell hehe) ANYWAY reader as meredith and dazai as derek, basically following the greys anatomy timeline. they meet as a one night stand, reader finds out dazai is their boss later in the morning, and just following up the timeline..

oh my gosh and this au my friend was also talking about as a one for fun; college au except the bsd cast (+ reader) works at different popular fast food places or cafes maybe and like it’s practically rivalry between the places, but reader and dazai go through the slowest slow burn to ever slow burn of the slow burns 🙏 okay had to rant about these to someone else have a good day quinn :3 — 🪷

AAAAAAHHHH MY DEAR LOTUS I LOVE THESE IDEAS SO MUCH???????????!!!!???? OKAY ALSO YOU MUST FORGIVE ME ….. I HAVE NEVER SEEN GREYS :(((((( BUT !!!!!!!!! i do LOOOOVE a little medical au :3333 oooooh okay okay i DO have thoughts on the diff specialties they’d be though!!!!!!!!

to me i feel like i could see dazai as palliative care OR peds CKSKCKDKDK (like very comfortable with death, maybe even peds onc???? i think he would just get along well with dying people but also kids too idkidkidk :333)

chuuya hmmmmm ….. my initial gut reaction was cardiology for some reason like they just have a Complex about something CKDJCJDJD (sorry cards i love you i promise) but at the end of the day they are willing to sit down and do the work and save lives yknow??????

kunikida is EM i will not be taking notes at this time HAHAHAHAHAHA that man locks in during a crisis 🫡🫡🫡 OH and everyone thinks ranpo would do something like radiology where he doesn’t really have to talk to patients BUT i think i could see him as peds rads which actually involves a lot of talking to kids - i think they really like him too :333

[syntheticmask]

what exactly is synthia

Wow! An actual ask! That’s a good question. (FYI if you’re not at least aware of the major entities within the Backrooms, a lot of this won’t make sense.)

Prepare for rambling. There’s a tldr at the end if you’re too lazy to read everything. I also kinda swayed from answering “what Synthia is” to “who Synthia is.”

I’ve mentioned Synthia’s deal here and there, but I’ll briefly summarize the broad strokes for you. Synthia, by many Wanderer’s opinions, is a Partypooper. She’s a mysterious being with a frowning blue mask that likes to help others. She may have two extra sets of eyes, and appeared long after they were wiped out in the war against the Partygoers, but weirder things have happened. Biologically-wise, however, she’s not even close. A wolf in sheep’s clothing, even if the wolf is friendly.

Synthia used to be human. Through a series of unfortunate events after falling into the Backrooms, she had a Smiler’s eye implanted and Partygoer skin graphed on the right side of her face to patch it up after a serious injury. After an even worse series of events, whatever bioengineered vaccine that was keeping the transformative effects of the Partygoer flesh (and apparently the Smiler’s eye) under check started wearing off.

Mid-transformation and on the brink of insanity, a Partyhost begins to form a link with her, and lures her into its domain to try and fully convert her. Shit hits the fan- Synthia goes nuts, slaughters a group of Partygoers, and consumes the brain of the Partyhost before wandering a couple Levels in utter delirium, passing out, and waking up in a hospital as a weird humanoid Smiler/Partygoer amalgam. Fun =D. ALSO the Partyhost is apparently alive and fused with her, and it’s not happy.

The Partypooper mask happens later on, after Synthia and the Partyhost learn to understand each other and get along. She found it while exploring the ceiling tiles in the School level (the Partypooper’s main base, now grave) next to a couple hidden corpses. She examines it, but ultimately decides to leave it, as it wasn’t hers to take. Turns out, mask’s haunted. The thing’s apparently taken a liking to her, and won’t stop appearing in her path. Leave it behind? Tada! It’s in the car seat next to you! Throw it in the trash? Nah, it’s in your backpack! Toss it in a lake? On your bedroom shelf!

Synthia is not a fan, but she doesn’t wanna break it in case it curses her more than she already is. I don’t exactly know how it’s gets on her face, but I had an idea with a Bonestealer or some other entity that does something dangerous when you look at it/it look at you, and as a last-ditch effort, she put the mask on her face. Sure, it saves her ass, but now she can’t. Take it. Off… Or, well, she can’t for a while, until the mask literally becomes her face, gaining the extra eyes in the process, and covering the entrance to what is now her throat.

She decided to scrounge up some Partypooper outfits because, you know, why not? She’s stuck with the mask. Why not sell the entire roll?

She’s got some other stuff going on that I didn’t cover, but that’s the gist of it. If you read my entire ramble, congrats! If you want the summary, it’s bellow.

TLDR; Synthia was a human implanted with a Smiler’s eye and Partygoer skin, transformed into shadow monster, and then fused with a Partyhost and haunted Partypooper mask. She’s got a lot going on.

[zeroducks-2]

(Espero que se me sea entendible)

Que opinión tienes de que Eo haya dicho:

"because it's the only time you'll spend with me."

En vez de:

"because it's the only time I'll spend with you

Te entiendo sì :) Sorry my Spanish isn't good enough for a complete answer but I do understand it well enough.

So the reason why Eo says "It's the only time YOU will spend with me", and not "the only time I will spend with you", is because he does spend a lot of time with Barry even if Barry is normally not aware of it.

Eo follows him around, spies on him, literally stalks him day and night and keeps him under control, he does spend a lot of time with him. It doesn't work the other way around though! Barry doesn't know Eo is there (and even when he suspects it, they don't really interact), so he doesn't in fact spend time with Eobard in return. It's a one way thing in which Eobard watches and looks and observes but never acts, like when he came back from the however many years he was tortured in prison and started just following Barry around, watching him without ever interacting (Eo was being ridiculously shy about it, and the funny thing is that at that point, Barry would have likely been happy to see him and greeted him like an old friend).

Conversely, when Eobard is actively making his life impossible, Barry is forced to react to the things he's put through, therefore he will "spend time with him".

See, Eo has this distorted view of relationships in which spending time with a loved one means that the ONLY WAY he has to be noticed and get the other person to give him attention, is through breaking things. As a child he was ignored by his parents who locked him in a playpen and never even turned towards him, and the only way he had to get them to pay attention to him was to break expensive toys. That would get his father to finally notice his existence and beat him up, which hey, I'm sure it won't traumatize a small child at all!

If you can go past the terrible art, this is what his life has been like for a good chunk of his childhood (then his parents genetically engineered another child and forced him to be his little brother's primary caretaker, while continuing to treat him like garbage).

And sure, now Eobard isn't a child anymore, but the 25th century is a bleak place and beside for the Flash comics he found refuge and comfort in, he didn't have any other guardian figure (or any friend really) who taught him how love even looks like. So, when Barry loses his entire shit in Running Scared, absorbs the Negative Speedforce and beats the everliving hell out of him, from Eobard's perspective he's still giving him attention! It worked, he broke "enough toys" to get Barry to spend time with him! ... In the sense that he was a menace for long enough and threatened Iris enough times, and it's interesting to me how in Running Scared he is so disoriented and so overpowered that he could do 200% more damage, but truly his only goal is getting Barry to spend time with him therefore he keeps said damage to a minimum.

He could have killed Ace, but he just tossed him around a bit. He could have killed Iris, and he barely even touched a hair on her head. He brought her to the 25th century after realizing that she didn't remember barely anything about him (unacceptable! One of the most important people in his life forgot shit about him!!), but beside scaring her, the whole RS arc ends with Iris sporting not even a bruise. The entirety of Running Scared could be summarized with "local time traveler gets brought back to life by his crush, is disoriented as fuck and in his need for attention makes a mess and gets himself killed again (by his other crush)". And in my strictly personal opinion, the reason why his antics look especially childish in Running Scared also comes from the fact that he's indeed extremely disoriented, both by the whole flashpoint paradox situation (he can't forget anything while everyone else has altered memories!), and by the fact that he literally just died and came back to life. Imagine the headache.