#it turned into some backstory stuff oops

[mossymandibles]

What's gender affirming care like on hallowed carrion?

Good question, it can be a little wild west out there, even just with regular hospice/holistic care, depending on where you’re at and which species or community you belong to. I’d say on Mors Astra (name of the planet), sexuality and gender expression can be as eclectic and varied as most animals/humans irl….Um, I guess I’m going to info dump about my individual trans characters and their experiences as well as how some of the main species would view it over all and hope that it answers your question. I’ll also be creating other sophont species that could have different views on things so there’s that too.

Also content warning ahead for forms of transphobia and gender dysmorphia topics.

For the Myce I’d say for the most part getting something like a cosmetic change is no biggie to them, as they don’t tend to have strict guidelines for gender expression. It probably wouldn’t go as in depth as it does with mammalians, surgically and medication wise. Their nerves and vessels grow back easier and such. Even their genitalia is strictly geared towards pleasure, like a miniature sexual mycorrhizal network of nerve endings. There’s no sperm or eggs involved. Their genitals may go by human guild lines in terms of appearance, but they can get pretty wild looking. I haven’t quite thought it through entirely just yet but I guess they might have their own form of T and E, if they cosmetically wanted breasts or a more phallic attachment, etc. I feel like they’d go more along the route of genetic expression rather than hormones though. There isn’t really a huge societal rift between who expresses themselves as feminine, masculine, etc. (although there could always be some strange cults and eccentrics out there!) I’d say to them it’s more important that you look conventionally humanoid. If you’re a bloom face (like Heidi), or have a tail/ horns or look more ‘animalistic’ and ‘othered’ for that matter, you’re more likely to face some stigma in certain regions populated by Myce. This derives from early on when the Myce were first coming into being. They were called changelings, ‘faefolk’, fairies, etc, and caused a lot of widespread fear and misconceptions. They associate such terms with being considered monstrous, diseased, etc.

They don’t reproduce like mammals, as they technically aren’t mammals, so luckily for them natal affairs and giving birth aren’t tied to any specific gender and are entirely up to the individuals who want to go that route.

*takes another deep breath*

In the case of Vveashuls, I think they’re a little more ‘traditional’ so to speak. (Tbh I think I’ve ended up expressing some deep seated frustrations with what I’m surrounded by everyday in them, oops! No fault of the Vveashuls ofc.)

With Vveashuls, many pockets of them tend to put a lot of value in procreation, having several kids, being able to breastfeed them on your own, etc. One should always put the family first.

In the past, while they lived on Zenith as one species, having litters and as many healthy kits as possible meant their survival. Often times their young would be culled by the Furies in order to keep their numbers down and keep them under control. Mind, not ALL Furies kept Vveashuls in servitude, just certain rooks.

Where they’re out from under the Furies control now, they hold pride in keeping big families, staying together, the next generation raised by the previous, etc.. A lone Vveashul is seen as strange, or that something is wrong with them. In the modern day, this creates a lot of pressures.

In Jago’s case, he grew up in a town of very traditional views; the idea of a Vveashul that can get pregnant getting rid of their breasts or their ability to give birth/ taking hormones was unheard of or seen as a selfish act of self mutilation. Males transitioning to females were seen as ‘useless’ or strange pretenders. Even just starting out, his family was very small, just him and his father.

Jago didn’t even really know what felt ‘off’ about himself until he met Kraw, Titus, Mayv and her crew. Puberty only made it more painfully obvious. Once he was old enough and sure of himself (this was after he and Kraw had parted ways the first time) It was very difficult for him to get any kind of treatment for such things geared towards his kind, even in Ladder occupied cities. He had to go under the table for most of his surgeries and medications, which put him in many dangerous situations. With his primary breasts still intact, he still feels like he’s not where he wants to be. The fact that the last surgeon to remove his secondary ones left him with obvious scars is frustrating as well. The whole process had just exhausted him overall. So he focused more on work.

On top of taking hormones, he would often have to take suppressors (yeah, those.) otherwise he’d go into heat and get all swollen and sensitive (it’s also fairly normal for female Vveashuls to take suppressors lest they deal with going into heat in day to day life, which can be very inconvenient in the modern day.)

He absolutely hates how he gets without the suppressors, as it only adds to his dysmorphia.

He’d occasionally have to deal with his old work mates making fun of him about it. They referred to him as a male, sure, but he still felt like they saw him as playing pretend. They would make comments like “oohh you’re grumpy today, are you off your meds?” Where they were mostly Myce, they didn’t deal with the average hang ups of mammalian sophonts and usually found it strange or funny.

Jago wants to be completely severed from the idea of having and mothering kids, the expectations of female Vveashuls, etc. I’d go as far as to say he’s had legitimate tokophobia his entire life. But he’s feels somewhat apprehensive of further surgeries for the time being, at least until he finds someone trustworthy and experienced. Who knows! He might find one in Marrowtide.

*deep breath*

THANKFULLY, where he lives now with Kraw and the others in Marrowtide, he’s in a MUCH more accepting/progressive environment, so I’d say that definitely helps him with the dysmorphia and anxieties of how his body looks. Despite being intimidated by Sylvaine, he gladly take his hormones and suppressors from her, where she also supplies them for Kraw in order to temporarily stave off his occasional ‘rut’ aggression (they’re almost like a birth control). Even other Vveashuls in Marrowtide wouldn’t care that Jago’s gotten surgery. Most of them probably escaped to Marrowtide in order to get away from stifling environments as well.

Disclaimer ofc: I don’t see having kids/ a big family etc as inherently stifling or negative by any means, I’m only referring to harmful beliefs and pressures that may come from growing up in a family with very controlling traditional viewpoints.

In Durja’s case, pockets of Fury cultures vary from rook to rook (‘rook’ being similar to a clan). Most are matriarchal. Durja herself was a sentry and the occasional personal concubine for the ‘Crowned Matron’ at the time (matriarchal leader of the rook). They don’t really perceive being trans, only caring that you are strong and tactical. Though, I’d say if you were looking to transition to female it would be very dangerous, as most of the females would take that as a challenge. In that same way a female transitioning to a male might be seen as weak. Within the Furies species, most of the time the females are bigger, stronger and tend to be more aggressive, even possessing pseudo-penises. They’re also polygamous.

I’d say she’s gotten most of her ideas of what she wants for herself by having watched Sylvaine in relationships for a while, thus deciding she wanted to be loved romantically in such a manner rather than the usual domineering way she had been used to. Taking in the strengths she’d see among the female Furies and she’s got her own image she’s made for how she presents herself.

She hasn’t personally dealt with any type of body dysmorphia and wasn’t interested in taking hormones from Sylvaine despite her offering, deciding she was fine with herself. (In fact, having a noticeable bulge as a female would be seen as desirable among Furies and Sylvaine definitely doesn’t complain).

Anyway, I hope that gives some insight for how it may be in some regions of Mors Astra. I think I just like to imagine animal hierarchies applied to creatures with human intelligence is all idk lol.

[dominantslasherking]

Billy and Stu with dominant Male S/o

My Stories are meant for the much more mature audience, 18+. Backstory: You always manage to catch Billy and Stu's eyes on you, whether it be in the college classroom, or when you're purchase horror stuff, they always seem to follow you. Even in your house you still feel their gazes

The dimly lit college classroom was buzzing with chatter, but not loud enough for the professor to call on anyone. Minding your own business as you were taking notes and sketching little side characters on your notebook out of boredom. Eyes were lingering on you, It wasn't the typical glance or side glance.

The lingering eyes were strong and made you feel a cool sensation run down your spine. With a simple turn of the head, you spotted the two. Billy and Stu, how could not know them? Not only did they garner attention all over the college campus. You would always, always catch them staring, although they may be fast to react and look away.

It can't be a coincidence they just always stare at you, not to mention being in the areas you were, your favorite locations, dining areas.

But the really not-so-funny part is, every time you do end up making a friend at this college, they end up disappearing. It had gotten so bad that even your fellow students grew weary of you, believing you were the infamous 'scream' killer.

However after a night in jail and the kills were happening when you were locked up, you were cleared of suspicion but of course not from the college students.

Once the class ended. You made your way out slinging your bag over the shoulder and sighing.

Almost meticulously, with severe calculation Billy had bumped straight into you. He gave a pretty smile as Billy watched you pick up his books. "Thanks, hah," Billy said his eye gleaming with an intense undertone of desire and pure want.

"It's my fault, I should watch where I was going...lost in thought." Your husky voice mutters, stacking Billy's books neatly in your hand before returning them, noticing the subtle hand movement of Billy where his hand brushed against yours.

Turning your gaze to Billy's friend Stu. Stu was silent, his eyes roaming you. The typically loud and humorous friend was silent strange enough, he licked his lips and gave a big smile. "Wow! I love that shirt!" Billy's face fell at Stu's words, elbowing him in the stomach, not enough to cause him severe pain but make him go 'ow'

"What was that for?!" Stu muttered with a pout. "You idiot, his shirt is just plain gray! what do you mean you like it?" Billy scolded, hinting that he knew Stu was checking [Name] out, and now you probably knew that Stu was eyeballing you.

"Ohhh." Stu muttered, as they continued to whisper and bicker among themselves.

Your chuckle made them pause. "sorry, sorry, you guys are just--funny that's all." You spoke softly, you thought they were cute. Bidding them goodbye, you walk out of the classroom.

Billy stared at stu.

"Whattt? Not my fault he's so sexy!" Stu grumbled out.

<<>>><<>>><><><><><<<>>>>

Later that day. You were at the DVD shop, looking through the thriller/horror second, making sure to get your hands on some classics.

With a loud and abrupt clank, your gaze faltered on the row across from you.

"Oops, did I ruin your guy's peeping session?" Randy had asked Billy and Stu. Stu gritted his teeth, Billy gave a urked glare. But the two of them knowing, your gaze was on them resisted doing something they were dying to do. They would just have to get back at him later.

"Wow! [Name], Thriller & horror movies? Nice dude!" Stu cheered pretending as if he didn't already know that about you...

Stu had started to chitter-chatter with you, while Billy was shooing and waving Randy off. Soon after Randy complied (after rolling his eyes and snarky comments) leaving the three of you alone.

"Ehm,--Well Billy and I, we love those types of genres!" Stu happily said as Billy's attention was now drawn to you, his feverish gaze landing on your lips every time you spoke. Taking a pause you spoke, "Really? why don't you two, come over sometime, we can watch them together?" You ask, as the two slashers freeze, slowly turning to look at each other and then back at you.

"What's the matter?...you don't want to---" Before you could finish what you wanted to say, Billy cut you off. "No-! No, we would love to."

Nodding you smiled, "Sure next time in class, we should set up a time and date." After bidding farewell, and purchasing the movies you got, you left, leaving Billy and Stu to celebrate together.

<<>>><<>>><><><><><<<>>>>

Pausing the movie, you itched the back of your neck, a feeling of a sense of dread washed over you. You had it again. Like someone, was watching, analyzing, observing you.

"Fuck." a whisper, under your breath, as you got up to check your popcorn. Walking to the kitchen, you take out the bowl of popcorn, setting it down as the phone rings.

"Hello?" "What's your favorite scary movie, [Name]?"

[astracora]

Turning Point - Part 7

Characters: Poly!LADs x gn!mc

Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Angst, Loss of Arm, Lots of emotional struggle with disability.

Word Count: 5202

Written: 15th January 2025

Notes: Pre-relationship with gn!MC with all LADs, with my personal pov of the game and lil headcanons littered in. Unnamed MC, but using my personal MC's basic appearance and adjusted backstory. I take some liberties with what the game offers me. I got nothing to add here other than this one came out of me like an emotional waterfall and as an emotionally repressed person just like MC is... WOOF... Enjoy??? I think I got one more chapter for this specific thing, but I'll see when I write the last bit. (Sylus-centric to end where it started!)

Now Playing: Parachute, By Kyndal Inskeep

Masterlist AO3

<- Previous Finale ->

The first time going out with Tara, you had waited for the moment she looked at you. You waited to see something in her eyes that indicated she was disgusted, or horrified, or bothered by you. Waited for when you extended a hand, to recoil.

It is the kind of feeling that is insulting to her, because Tara has never offered you anything other than warmth and affection. She has been by your side, ever since you joined the Association. Chatting with you on breaks, checking in on you after you lost your family. Bringing you snacks, sending you texts.

So it should not have surprised you, that when you see her at the station, she sprints over, and wraps her arms around you. For a moment, you can feel her tremble, before she pulls away, your hands in hers. Feeling the warmth of Tara's skin through the prosthetic sensors. The twitching to your fingers, the hesitation, before you carefully tighten your fingers around hers.

Her hand doesn't leave yours as she tugs you this way and that, as you walk around shopping. The intention is abandoned, the hunt for gifts becomes second to letting her energy carry you.

It is not unlike the way Rafayel grabbed your hand to lead you forwards. The heat and comfort of someone's presence making the noise drop away a little. The world calm, your anxieties settle. Like you're wrapped in a blanket.

You end up with bags of things you're helping Tara carry, clothes and accessories she'd gotten excited over. Things she'd wanted your help picking out. The normalcy of it all so at odds with every part of your life. Bringing you back to days in college when you weren't chasing the sensation of being alive with blood on your fists, and bruises on your skin.

As rare as those were.

"So." Tara starts, through a mouthful of a crepe, so full of cream, she gets some on her nose. "How has it been with them?"

Your feet almost stop, thankfully her hand pulls you forwards, still tightly held in yours. It must be the tilt of your head that makes her laugh, as she rubs at her nose with her sleeve.

"Xavier said he was staying with you to help. Along with that artist you work with, your doctor, and Skye?"

You're glad Xavier knows how to lie, and that for once he didn't use it with you to keep secrets. You're not sure if you would have put money on him not dropping Sylus' name in casual conversation, simply because he was sleeping at his desk. Ignoring piles of paperwork.

"Yeah, they've been really helping." It's an understatement. They've pulled you back, and given you room to walk forwards. Steadying hands offered when you stumble, and warmth in your chest where it had chilled.

"I always thought you'd date Skye."

The statement is so startling you drop one of the bags, panicking to retrieve what has spilled over. Releasing your grip on Tara to put her stuff back.

"Oops." You can hear the music in her voice as she teases you, crouching to help, before you can stand again, bags held in your hand. She retrieves the metal one back into her own, and offers you some of the crepe.

You're sure it's sweet, but the heat of your cheeks and your embarrassment make it hard to tell what toppings she even put on it.

"Nero thinks you'll date Xavier." This time you choke, turning your face away to not spray her with cream, so she finishes off with, "and Simone is voting for Zayne. Shame we haven't met Rafayel yet, no one has his betting pool."

"You have a betting pool?" You exhale, swallowing down the coughing and rubbing at your throat with your full hand.

"Not officially." She this time wraps her arm around yours, leaning against you, and nibbling at her treat again, "We just find your friends funny."

Friends.

You look away and force one foot in front of the other, "Better not put down too much money, I don't think you'll get good returns."

"You're not interested?"

"That's- that's not what I said."

You aren't sure anyone could meet them, could know them, and not be interested.

"So you are?"

"Tara…" It comes out much the same way Zayne speaks to you, like he's exasperated and isn't sure what to do with you.

"Come on, we're friends!"

"We are."

"So talk to me."

"I've never thought about it."

"Ever?" She doesn't look like she believes you, eyes wide and shocked, like the idea of you moving through life alongside them without thinking about them like that is baffling to her.

It's not a lie… not entirely. "I've…" you sigh, looking down at the hand in yours before you're offered a bite again, as you chew, you feel the slight heat of it and the strawberry on your tongue, "I've never felt like I had time to think about it. Not in college, not now."

Always chasing some reason. Some meaning to be alive.

Some way to leave a mark that matters.

Chasing the pain in your limbs to remind you you're there, standing there.

"There's always something more important to think about, I've never had the time to sit down and think about anything like that." If you had thought about it, it was quick, and affirmation that you shouldn't. Shouldn't get attached to someone. Let them get attached to you. Waiting on that timeline that could be too short to grasp with your fingertips.

No one should have to deal with the grief of being left behind by you.

"What better time to think about it!" You're pulled to a bench, under an artificial tree covered in sparkling golden lanterns, Tara sits and then stares at you. Expectant, glittering eyes, bright smile. She catches the light and glows, and it's a reminder that she is far more an angel than you deserve to care for.

So you sit, to bask in the warmth of her, and place the bags down to free your hand, to offer her one of the bottles of ice tea you bought.

She swaps you for the crepe, but does not release your hand, like if she does you'll run away.

It's not an unfair assessment. You do feel the crawling up your back like you want to bolt. A cat wary for loud noises.

She's begun to learn your habits well. Like everyone else who has decided you are worthy of keeping around.

It is disconcerting to be seen, and known.

You think about the first time Caleb found you after you ran away from home, crawling under the husk of an old tree, to find you curled up with snacks and a threadbare blanket. Tears streaming down your eyes, not wanting to go back. You didn't want to go back to the hospital anymore.

He always found you. No matter where you ran.

You weren't sure anyone was ever going to find you again.

"Come on," She nudges you, with a pretty smile and bright eyes, "Why wouldn't you think about it?"

"Tara, I don't even know how long I have." You look away when you say it, sinking your teeth into cream, and stare down at the floor. Ignore the twitch in her hand, ignore the eyes that try to flit to yours.

Ignore the loss you'd feel if you had to let go of her hand.

She turns her gaze back to the bottle in her hand, takes a moment to twist the cap with her teeth, spitting it into one of the bags. "Neither do I." She finally says, and you look at her. The irritation must come through, because she blinks.

"It's different."

"Is it?"

The question in her gaze is earnest, and you aren't sure how to answer, it is…. Isn't it?

"You almost died. On a mission. In a building as it crashed down around you. You would have died, if hunters didn't come. If you hadn't sent me the warning." She tugs your hand so you have to hold her gaze, even if it hurts to see the tears shining there, "It wasn't your heart, it was wanderers. We almost lost you, because of an everyday job you do."

You think about the metal through your shoulder. The pain as you tried to struggle against it. Desperate to keep fighting, as the Myst swung its battleaxe down at you. As you saw moments flash before you, and the dark pulling you down into the abyss.

You think about the ticking clock you can't see for your heart.

Is it different?

"Everyday, we fight wanderers. Everyday a mission could be our last one. What better time to think, than when you're not staring down a monster?"

When you don't speak, Tara tilts her head, watches as you stare at the floor, "I'd miss you."

This time, it is a jolt, like a knife, right into your chest, looking at her as she says it.

"I'd miss you, if you disappeared, if you died. I'd miss you, every day. I'd probably have to stop myself from messaging you. Stop myself from seeking you out at work. I've already had to stop turning to your desk to speak to you, because you're not there."

A ghost, lurking in the memories of others. Isn't that what you feared to become?

"Then you-"

She shakes her head, "Do you wish you'd never know Caleb?"

"No!" It is venomous, a snap, a snake's bite. It rips out of your chest quicker than you can control, and it trembles at the edges.

You would go a million more days losing Caleb, if it meant you could have him in your life another day. That if you could repeat the last time you saw him, you would drag it out, even knowing how it ended. That you'd seek his spirit out, the one who brought you home when you curled in the rain and cried for something no one could ever give you.

You miss him everyday, but not knowing him… you don't think you'd be here. Not sat on this bench, not talking to someone who cares for you, who would miss you.

You think you would have finally given up. Broken beyond repair and drowning in the waves of feelings you couldn't grasp with your hands.

You would never have gotten a second chance, or a third, or a fourth. You would have sunk beneath and faded away.

"No. I don't."

"So why would anyone else see you differently? You're worth knowing, and loving, for as long as we get the chance to."

It is the grief of losing that accompanies the joy of loving. You think about memories spent with Gran and Caleb, of times you found value in waking up another day. That when you are stuck and struggling, you think about his hand reaching out for yours. Reminding you of what it means to live.

You think of Tara's hand, grasping at yours without end. Refusing to release you, for as long as she can. The tether and the reminder, that no matter what she will take your hand.

You think of Xavier's fingers dancing over the metal, testing the grooves and marvelling and the sensations that erupted.

You think of Rafayel's warmth in your palm, his fish darting through your fingers as you stretch and flex them.

You think of Sylus' grip grounding you, reminding you how to stand on the ground and find your feet.

You think of Zayne's ministrations, keeping your straps from digging harshly into skin, to keep you safe from the outside and the inside.

You think of Nero's notes in your bedside table. Of Simone's messages on your phone.

You think of Jenna's concern as she told you to rest, once taken as a dismissal, now repainted as concern. That the time it took did not matter to her, just that you did come back ready.

It is a mosaic or a jigsaw, littered across a messy floor. Pieces lost, and hard to find. You can clean and claw for them, but you will continue to find more. Things that were small, that kept you standing, things that seemed pointless but have buoyed you against your knowledge.

Large rocks in a river, or pebbles along the shore.

Her head rests on your shoulder, unconcerned with the metal through your clothing, even though you're sure it's not comfortable. Instead she just stays there, looking down at the hand she has joined with hers, "If they're anything like you, or me, it doesn't matter how long it is. So you should tell them."

Tell them… "I don't know what to tell them."

"Well that's easy, you're head over heels."

"Tara!"

"It's true!" "Where did you even get that from?"

She laughs, "You don't look at yourself in the mirror, everyone else sees it. The way you light up." You're not sure that's true… Xavier 'lights up', you… do you? She watches the furrow in your brow and smiles, "I suppose you wouldn't notice. You're too busy running forwards to stop and think, huh?"

"I stop." You huff, "Sometimes."

"Alright then, how do you think you feel?"

You're not sure you're ready to investigate that. To query it. The idea of looking deeper and seeing what Tara sees.

Then what?

You tell them, and watch things change?

Friends is good, friends is fine. If you don't mess it up, they won't leave you behind and keep walking. If you say something stupid, what if they leave. How would you even tell them?

"Are you happy with them?" She knows you well enough to dig deeper, with questions that pierce through the noise.

It's an easy answer to find, "Yes." There is no world where you are not happy with them. You think even if it ended in tragedy, you would seek them out, and care for them. Just like Caleb. Just like you would with those you have decided to love.

"It's not just… happiness. It's-" A sigh escapes you, the heat in your cheeks as you turn your face away so that Tara cannot study you as easily as she normally does. Seeking out changes in your expression to understand you. You're not sure how she has come to understand you so easily in a year of companionship. "It's like being whole. Pieces that come together to remind you of who you are. When they're there, I feel more like myself. I feel safe, and solid, and stable. Like the ground isn't going to drop."

It rips up your throat, the feeling of an emotion you struggle to process, the need to let it out in a sob, a feeling of worrying at the edge of the cliff. That you are staring down the drop, and you're not sure you don't want to fall.

Gentle fingers wipe at the corners of your eyes, and squeeze at your hand, and you lean into it, "It feels good. I'm scared of it feeling good."

"Hey."

"What if I lose it Tara? If I tell them and they turn away, or they leave?"

It's a home waiting to crumble into the sea, or the flames devouring the edges or the foundations. You've watched one go, can you set fire to the one you're still rebuilding?

She pulls you to her chest and strokes your cheek with her hand, releasing yours so that she can ground you in her arms. Other hand soothing circles into your back. "I can't tell you what they'll say, I wish I could, but I think you should talk to them. I may not have met your artist friend, but I know how the other's look at you. Even if you haven't opened your eyes to see it, alright?"

"It's really bad timing." You sniffle, trying not to cry harder and wet her shirt, or get snot on her.

Her laugh is soft against your cheek, "We'll always have bad timing. Can you really say if you die tomorrow, you'll be satisfied?"

You think about the hesitation to reach out and touch back, the wavering in your movements, and the need to close gaps. The feelings of lying awake next to Rafayel or Xavier on the bed, watching eyelashes flutter over cheeks. Of Sylus' fleeting touches and glances, that he never pushes like you'll run from him if he does. Of Zayne's clenched fist when he thinks you don't notice, as though he's holding himself back every moment.

You think about what you wish you could do for and with them. A home built with the people you love.

Love.

You're not sure you're ready, but you're not sure you'll ever be ready. To face the abyss and leap. Like it will catch you.

Somehow you think it will.

"Just think about it, at least a little. You deserve the chance to have a life that doesn't revolve around being a hunter."

You want to laugh but it will come out wet. Time spent not chasing a value in what you can provide, it feels a long way away with the chains around your ankle, and the beast that slumbers only to awaken in your lowest moments.

Except… when it purrs. With those who hold you and care for you.

"Thank you." You squeeze Tara's hand against your cheek, straightening a little to look at her. You see the tears glowing in her own eyes.

You wonder how many people you have hurt while you were standing looking over the cliff.

You want to make sure you never stand there again, and remember to turn around when they call for you.

"Always, remember. Always."

Always.

—----------

You think about your talk with Tara, wavering on the edge of opening your mouth, until you panic and shut down. You have been stuck inside of your own head, unsure how to start a conversation. You spent weeks debating and wondering and thinking.

In between daily progress, returning to your usual training, finally able to feel your body function the way you'd like it to.

In every empty moment, you think about them.

About the question on the tip of your tongue, that is barely even a question, 'I love you'. Unsure and wavering and scared to be voiced.

When you finish training with Sylus, you escape, lest your spout out something stupid and have to watch pity enter his eyes.

You finish runs with Zayne and avoid his checking hands when he queries if you are sick, because you cannot hold his gaze even more than normal.

You avoid sitting with Rafayel for long periods of time, because the soothe of his work makes you want to tell him things you're worried to say.

You cannot face Xavier when he joins you for a nap, because you feel your hand reaching out to touch his cheek.

It is like a dam has broken, and the feelings you have spent too long ignoring, lest you have to face them, have come to the forefront. Reminding you every moment, that you are sitting on a need and a feeling that wishes for nothing more than to be aired.

It is nothing you want to share, you think. You are happy where you are, they are here.

They won't always be here. This moment, it pulls away, and you are more capable every day. You wait for the moment that they tell you, that they will go their separate ways.

That you will stop entering the apartment to see them. That your home will become cold again, and you will have to deal with the acknowledgement that you are a coward.

It is a new type of countdown, but no more terrifying. You know it does not mean they will disappear, you will see them, you will be able to meet them… they have never disappeared on you for long.

You think you have grown far too used to their presence as a constant, that the idea of the loneliness of the cool apartment is no longer a familiar balm.

You're sure you used to be fine alone. Yet now, in this moment, you wish to never be alone again.

So as you avoid, and run from them, out of control of your own body in a way you've never been before, you move through the days.

Until you finally get approval to return to combat training.

You meet Jenna, Tara, Simone and Nero at the door of the Association.

It is worth everything, you think, that coming to the Association, seeing the four of them, feels like settling back into place. Not unlike returning to that apartment with the four people you love most around your table.

"Took you long enough." Simone laughs, wrapping her arm around your shoulder and pulling you into the building. You stumble a little, before catching yourself. The laugh that barks out is greeted by a smile from Nero and Tara. "Thought we'd all get old waiting for you to get your ass back."

"Is that anyway to treat your favourite resonator?"

"You're the only one we've got, so you'll do I suppose."

You poke her with a metal finger into the side, happy when she laughs again at you.

"I'll give you the entertainment factor though, Xavier was proper grumpy without you."

Nero nods, serious, "She's right, he kept heading to your desk to sit at, even though you weren't there."

"Like a sad little bunny!"

"You really enjoy teasing Xavier a lot, huh?"

She shrugs, "Before you came around the man didn't react to a single thing, now he's blushing, laughing, getting grumpy with kids who want to be your partner? I'm having the time of my life."

"You lot behave yourself, I'm aware you're excited, but we aren't here to chat." Jenna cuts in, extending her hand to you, her face is even, but as you shake her hand, she smiles, small and quick, "Welcome back. We'll be seeing if you can keep up with combat drills for a while, then when I believe you're ready, you'll be back on missions."

The feeling you have is probably akin to the feeling a bird has when it takes flight. It's the same feeling you had when you got accepted as a hunter. The first day you were assigned to UNICORNS. It is excitement, and fear, and thrill.

You're back where you belong, where you can do what you should be doing.

You are ready to keep moving forwards.

Simone returns to her work, but Nero and Tara assist with drills. You are handed a gun, to practice with your aim.

It is not a weapon you prefer to use, but it is a basic skill that hunters require. The more weapons in an arsenal, the better chance you have in the field.

You can't really lift your claymore easily anymore. When you try to lift it over your shoulder, it pulls and tears. You waver and you shake, and drop it back down. Irritable and frustrated.

Your sword is familiar, you have kept training with Xavier, so that it does not hinder with its movements. It is fast and easy to keep your movements with.

Your efforts with each of them has kept you from falling too far behind. Your hand has a proper grip, and you find comfort in the process.

You run through each drill Jenna hands you. When you fail, you stand back up and try again, you focus on the movement, on the action and you keep trying. You keep the rule your doctor has drilled into you. Fail five times, stop, try again later.

When you face wanderers for test, you learn you are missing your mark with the gun, unbalanced with it, but your sword strikes true. Easy to judge the weight and the feel of it in your grasp.

You pause, and you fight, and you train.

You come back day after day, you face down the hoard of emulated beasts, and you learn how to move the way you did.

You fight, and you fight.

You repeat, come home, exhausted and full of flames, and then repeat the process.

It is a day that you are heading back to complete another test that Jenna has devised, bruise on your cheek, just over a scar near your eye, that you are held back by a hand on your wrist. Rafayel with his hands behind his back, head tilted and a grin on his face, "I have a surprise, guess the hand."

Your laugh is unbidden, and for a moment you think again how beautiful he is, before you stuff it down. Reminding yourself, not to say something stupid, "Is this a trap, if I pick wrong will I be sleeping with the fishes?"

He huffs, "You're only allowed to sleep with this fishie!"

"Raffy!"

He tilts his head to the other side, he leans in closer to you, eyes sparkling, "Pick."

"Left."

"Are you sure?"

"I haven't got x-ray vision, so yeah, no more sure than I'd be of right."

He moves his hands in front of him, and on both of his palms rests a long, beautiful, black curved dagger. It is intricately carved, you turn it over to see feathers falling through snowflakes, a fish dancing on the edge of a star. Your fingers tremble as he places it in your hand, tightening along the handle.

"You needed a new signature, and you always liked mine."

It is the feeling up your throat, the need to cry, to sob. Every time they see you, you want to run and to bask. To lie against their beating hearts and beg them to never stop.

It rests in your hand, your grip tightens around it and it feels like it is part of you. Thrumming under your senses. Beating like a living heart in your hand. A vivid reminder of what you have to keep fighting for and with. "I love it." You manage, through the tight throat and the wet mess of tears as they rush from your eyes.

Fingers chase away your tears again, reminding you that it is not wrong of you to feel and to struggle, as long as you face forwards.

"Thank you Rafayel."

He shrugs, huffing but there's no venom in it, his lips quirking at the edges, "Wasn't just me, you've got to stay safe, and alive. Always come home."

Home.

As long as your heart beats, you think that he, Xavier, Zayne and Sylus are your home. The place where your pieces feel like they fit again.

You want them to know, you want to tell them that they are where you belong. You want to believe that with the dagger in your hand, you can protect it and them. A future where, even if it ends before you want, you will always cherish it.

That the grief is worth the joy, and you want to believe it is the same for them.

"I'll see you tonight."

It is a promise, and as you smile back at Rafayel, whose eyes brighten like flames in the night, leading you home. You promise yourself you'll take the step.

—-----

The dagger rests comfortably in your grip as you push. It is sharp and quick, and you dispatch the practice wanderers with the kind of violent glee you often get when you find the drive to push and flare.

When there is something to fight for on the other side. The rage that carries you past your hatred of EVER. That pulled you into Sylus' lap with the gun in hand.

That you will keep snarling if it means you will end up victorious.

It is the knowledge that you have something to protect, this world, Linkon, your friends, the people waiting for you at home.

It is the feeling of finally flying, the feeling of resonating with Caleb when you were a kid, and feeling the gravity leave, as you floated up holding his hand. As you laughed as you span. Pulling him as high as you could before the connection dimmed, or Gran caught you both.

Catharsis that reminds you that there are moments when your heart is light. Even as you cut through the arm of a knave, and kick back at a wyrm.

As you stand in the training ring, victorious and pleasantly sore. As you remember why you pushed through every night your arm didn't work as you wanted. As you struggled against the tide.

It is the acknowledgement of months of work to process and fight. It is the gleam in Jenna's eye as you achieve, and remind her why you were here in the first place.

That this is what you can do, that this is who you are. Every contest, every trial, everything. If you fail, you stand again.

"Well," Jenna starts, stepping over as the emulation stops, her hand extends again, but this time her smile is there at the start, "Let's get you back on missions."

You almost jump forwards, almost grab her hand far too tight, before Tara comes out the side, a streak of vivid energy to tackle you. Leaving Jenna's hand floating in the air, before it covers her mouth, so she can push down the laugh.

"Tara. My bruises."

"They'll heal!"

Nero and Simone watch, he offers you a nod, while Simone grins, "All those long times staring at these horrible wanderer emulations, ended up worth it huh?"

"Horrible? They're a skillful recreation of accurate wanderer behaviour! The stud-"

"I get it, I get it. They're great, super realistic." She snorts, kicking at the floor with the toe of her shoe, "They even splatter."

"An accurate recre-"

"Nero, can you go file the report with Andrew, he'll need to know."

"Yes Captain."

Before he goes he nods at you again, "Glad you're back, I have so many notes. The new Lumiere show had Arbiterwings!" You barely get chance to respond, because Jenna raises a brow and he darts off. Before she can give him an order again.

"I swear, he's been biting at the bit to tell you about his new show, we told him he could message you, but he said it wasn't the same." Simone steps over, pulling Tara off you finally.

"Hey!"

"Two minutes is too long, you're acting like they died!"

"Some of us have a lot of feelings."

"I have a lot, right now I'm hungry, we've been watching for hours."

There's another smothered laugh, as Jenna straightens out, "Alright you three, you're done for the day, go find Nero and get something to eat." She looks at you, "You can start next week, you'll keep doing drills to ensure you keep on top of your physical state, and keep up with your medical checks."

"Yes Captain." The salute is familiar, practiced, even with the cool metal against your forehead.

Whole.

And you're more than sure of the scar pulling at your lip, as your smile rises to your lips.

You will fight for the future again.

[socra-time]

Socra’s Naruto Liveblog, Ep. 121-130

Ep 121:

-I’d like to start my commentary by pointing out that the thumbnail for this episode was Akamaru peeing on Kiba’s face

-geez how far did the other twin go to wash his eyes out bc how did he not hear any of the screaming that was going on

-Kiba sitting and petting Akamaru in what could potentially be their last moments is making me sad:(

-Akamaru is so GODDAMN CUTE😭

-Kiba being raised in an all-female household of dog ladies is kind of a peak character detail. He truly is a boyfailure in a family of girlbosses

-anyways I want to know more about his mom and sister. I’m starved for cool female characters

-also how come Kiba’s sister gets to have three whole doggos

-I think it’s kinda hilarious how Choji’s backstory during his fight revealed his struggles being excluded and his history with Shikamaru and then meanwhile Kiba’s is just like “he’s just a dude who loves his dog”. I mean I gotta respect it (because I, too, am a dude who loves her dog), but it’s funny

-I want to see more of Kimimaro’s kekkei genkai. So far his fighting amounts to basically having two “swords” and being really good at melee combat but I know there’s gotta be more impressive-looking stuff in his arsenal

-oh well I got my wish to see more of Kimimaro’s powers. Bone powers are actually pretty cool (and also I could definitely see Orochimaru using them)

-oops I lowkey forgot about Shikamaru’s fight tbh

-I like that Kiba’s battle turned from “actual battle” to “get away and avoid being killed”. It’s a switchup from the other four battles and puts more of a focus on trickery and survival skills

-Tayuya and Shikamaru’s mid-battle banter is very amusing to me and idk why

Ep 122:

-I’m actually very curious to see how Shikamaru handles this battle considering that he is very much not an offensive fighter

-I like how Shikamaru thinks of his battles like shogi games

-my heart is too weak to handle seeing hurt Akamaru

-I will say that all the transitions between the different fights/scenes are kinda jarring, especially because some of the scenes are only a few seconds long

-oooh I like Tayuya’s second stage form

-oh Shikamaru CAN use shadow strangle jutsu. Idk why he hasn’t used it before tho, but maybe he hadn’t learned it yet?

-okay Shikamaru is officially a badass. I feel like that was too easy tho, so Tayuya still probably has something up her sleeve

Ep 123:

-Naruto respectfully your “spam shadow clones” strategy is really not working

-shoutout to Kiba for actually having survival skills (Naruto could never lmao)

-ohhhhh god Naruto finally coming face-to-face with Sasuke is making me anxious

-Sasuke’s deranged laughter is really stupid-sounding ngl

-also Sasuke stepping on a leaf was uh. Not subtle.

-LEE IS HERE OMG FUCK IT UP MY SON MY LEGEND MY GOAT

-I know Lee takes over but damn Naruto’s fight with Kimimaro was such a nothingburger of a fight. Like legit nothing happened

-Lee catching Kimimaro’s blade was badass as hell

-I love how Genma still has the needle in his mouth even when he’s in the fucking hospital

-oh my god I love Gai so fucking much hfhshsgshwhshdhdhwgdggw. His voice actor is also slaying as always

-I love how Tsunade and Gai keep saying “elixir” instead of “alcohol”. Censorship go brrrr

-LMFAO NOT LEE AND KIMIMARO PAUSING THE FIGHT SO LEE CAN TAKE HIS MEDICINE IM FUCKING WHEEZINGGGGG

-(also Kimimaro just going along with Lee’s request was incredible)

-oh my god drunk Lee is fucking hilarious. Also the whole “unhinged combat monster when drunk” thing is such a peak character detail

Ep 124:

-I bet Lee’s voice actor had so much fun doing the drunk Lee scenes

-oop Shikamaru is kinda losing his battle now

-damn Kiba is really just trucking along with multiple stomach stab wounds

-ohhhh my god drunk Lee just keeps getting funnier and funnier

-also the little story of Team Gai dealing with drunk Lee was great

-god Lee’s fights are just such a joy to watch. The fight choreo is always so snappy and fun

-I love Lee going on a mini tangent about underage drinking while being drunk off his ass

-also I love that when Lee sobers up and sees Kimimaro with his ribs sticking out he’s just like “wtf happened to you”

-damn why is this Kiba versus the twins fight turning into a horror movie

-Ukon just casually wearing Kiba’s jacket is kinda funny to me but is also just a dick move

-YOOOOO IT’S THE SAND HOMIES THEY LOOK SO BADASS

-it’s funny that all of the foreshadowing we got of the sand siblings coming was just Kiba occasionally smelling them

-also hell yeah Gaara got an outfit change!

Ep 125:

-I love that Gaara is just standing there with his arms crossed while Kimimaro attacks him

-it’s interesting seeing Lee and Gaara on the same side after Gaara almost ended Lee’s whole career as a ninja. And the fact that Lee doesn’t hold a grudge is crazy but also is very Lee

-I live for Temari roasting Shikamaru. Put him in his place queen

-YAY A KANKURO FIGHT! He’s definitely someone who I wanna see more of

-oh my god they are NOT holding back with Kankuro’s murder puppets. The Iron Maiden trap and the blood leaking out of it was INSANE

-also I wonder how strong the material Kankuro’s puppets are made of is. It looks like wood but clearly it’s stronger than that

-Temari is girlbossing so goddamn hard. Her just casually destroying the entire upper section of the forest was badass

-I feel like Temari turning around and grinning snarkily at Shikamaru when she says “pretty good, huh?” is the exact moment he starts catching feelings

Ep 126:

-Gaara and Lee are such a weird mix of personalities lol

-Gaara’s face is so deadpan while he blocks Kimimaro’s attacks

-I’m actually not sure how I feel about Gaara’s dub voice. Sometimes it fits and sometimes it really doesn’t

-basically the only word Naruto has spoken for the last couple scenes he’s been in is “SAAAAAASUKE”

-the abrupt cut from Naruto chasing Sasuke into the dark to Kimimaro’s backstory was really weird

-Kimimaro kinda deserved better, he really never had a chance at a normal life

-also WOW Gaara forced Kimimaro to activate his cursed mark SUPER quickly

-Gaara is kinda popping off in this episode

-this is so off-topic but seeing Kimimaro’s clan made me think about how I love when the clans in the show have certain identifying features like facial markings or styles of clothing. Ughhhhh I could talk about my headcanons about clan cultures forever

-WTF ZABUZA AND HAKU CAMEO????? Jesus that was so long ago but rest in peace guys

-I know I’ve said it a million times but I love Orochimaru’s theme so much, every time it comes in it’s epic as hell

-Orochimaru pleaseeeee stop indoctrinating every traumatized child you come across

-oh Kimimaro’s second stage form is uh. Interesting.

Ep 127:

-god Gaara is such a badass

-aw Gaara saved Lee:)

-okay Kimimaro using his spine as a weapon goes hard as fuck

-the Shukaku shield looks stupid

-KABUTO GET OFF MY SCREEN IM TRYING TO WATCH GAARA FIGHT

-Orochimaru is suuuuuch a cult leader

-I know it doesn’t mean anything but it was interesting to me that when Kimimaro fought the Sound 4, Jirobo and Kidomaru got knocked out but Tayuya and Sakon didn’t

-completely unrelated to anything but the color of Gaara’s eyes is very nice

-Jesus Christ that’s a lot of goddamn bones

-I really can’t say enough how much I hate the way Kabuto talks

-I do feel sad for Kimimaro. He’s definitely comparable to Haku, though Haku’s story resonated with me more

Ep 128:

-wow Sasuke both looks and sounds twice as edgy as he did before

-also given that I know that Sasuke doesn’t end up coming back with Naruto, it’s crazy to me how little time Team 7 was actually together. Maybe it’s because I’ve been bingeing the show but it feels like it’s hardly been any time at all

-damn Sasuke really is out here dissing the Konoha kids when several of them were fully willing to die for him

-I know Sasuke is a super traumatized kid and all but ughhhhh he’s pissing me off

-Naruto’s voice actor is doing a good job this episode, you can really feel the intensity of his emotion

-meanwhile I’m not sold on Sasuke’s voice actor’s performance here. Part of it is definitely the writing, but it’s definitely kinda cringey

-like half of this episode is flashbacks. I definitely think flashbacks are good to show during this climactic confrontation, but I feel like they needed to be better about picking and choosing which flashbacks to show and how long to show them for

-I didn’t realize before but it seems like the high-collared shirts Sasuke wears are an Uchiha thing?

-its very sad to me how different Sasuke’s personality probably would’ve been if his clan was still alive. He was so much happier and less reserved as a little kid 😭

-damn Sasuke was straight-up gonna burn Naruto alive

Ep 129:

-I usually don’t comment on the intros but I just gotta point out that Neji and Choji are the only Konoha kids missing from the intro. They really were trying to make viewers believe they were dead lol

-I still can’t get over how Sasuke got ALL of his mom’s genes and none of his dad’s

-also I still don’t like that Itachi doesn’t really sound any different in Sasuke’s flashbacks

-congratulations to Sasuke’s dad for being an extremely mediocre parent. Still better than Hinata’s dad tho.

-(belated shoutout to Choji’s dad for actually being a good father)

-oh shittttt there’s a mystery afoot! I wasn’t expecting to get some lore behind Itachi at this point but I’m very curious about whatever was going on with him and Shisui. Also for some reason I DO believe that he didn’t kill Shisui.

Ep 130:

-Naruto really needs to try to smack Sasuke with a rasengan or something

-yay more Sasuke/Itachi lore! I’m simultaneously very sad about it and very intrigued

-I also like that we’re getting a little lore about the Uchiha clan in general

-bruh why was little Sasuke trying to practice his fire style jutsu in the RAIN

-when Sasuke’s dad started walking away after Sasuke successfully did the fireball jutsu I was so ready to call him an asshole but he actually was pretty nice about it. I guess he gets to keep his title as a mediocre parent

-also Sasuke’s mom seems very nice

-okay Naruto time to go apeshit pls

[tempestmothstorm]

Ok so I mention my fantasy au for ddlc a couple times but I’ve been busy for months because of life stuff and also more brain rot for different stuff. So like. I haven’t gotten to it for months. Oops

Anyways I’ll just put the basic lore I have here because I do have a lot of ideas for this au and I am shaking the bars for my enclosure cus I really wanna talk about it

This is basically if ddlc and its concepts were put into a stereotypical rpg instead of dating sim and the club is now a cool rpg party who spend the hypothetical game encountering and bonding with each other like in the side stories. The plot would be simple and about finding the cure for a fantasy plague/curse that has been slowly ravaging the land (spooky glitch effects) only for it to slowly unravel into the wider lore and how it connects to base game ddlc

Monika is a main character and the paladin leader. Orphan from the capital turned famous knight who had become disillusioned and abandoned her high status to become a wandering mercenary to help the people in the curse. She eventually finds her own patron god, You! It’s like Oneshot where you are the narrator observing and guiding Monika, except she doesn’t actually know who you are or that she’s in a game so you have to hide it while also making sure she doesn’t repeat the sins of the past and stuff. She slowly learns to open up and trust her new companions and love her life to the fullest without worrying about perfection or success and stuff. Maybe she doesn’t need to be the legend or the perfect hero. Maybe she can just be with her new family. Maybe she could just let herself belong (the sure hope her arc lasts and isn’t ripped away by her own hands haha)(she gets better)

Sayori is the simple first best friend/second in command/heart of the group. She’s just the happy go lucky bard without that deeper tragic backstory the rest of the cast has. The daughter of a fisherman in a small starting town, Monika first encounters her after defending the town from a monster. Sayori and the town throw a celebration as thanks, letting Monika learn to loosen up and be open. On the flip side Sayori seems to have no relevant plot, only to suddenly reveal her own doubts later in the story. Having always felt useless and aimless, whether in her hometown where she had no place or job or with the party as she had no apparent use, she starts to feel insecure about her place in the group over time. There’s probably be the classic ‘heart of the group get incapacitated and everyone realizes how essential they are as the rest fall apart’ plot beat, and Sayori’s gets to learn just how important she is.

Yuri is the local smart guy wizard of the team, part of some mysterious wizards coven when the party first encounters her. Monika and Sayori are looking for info on the curse’s origins and the coven assigns Yuri to help temporarily guide them through a dungeon. On the way Yuri gets to learn what actual companionship looks like as people who are connected not only through a common goal or interest, but people who genuinely care for her. The coven didn’t really interact or care about her well being, and she was too disconnected from the outside world to learn enough about her field of study, so she decides to leave the coven to travel the world with Monika and Sayori. Over time they also learn about her backstory (because every mysterious rpg character needs a tragic backstory) about her being the daughter of a faraway kingdom’s royal family. Having been born with destructive magic powers, her family had tried everything to suppress it , without regards for their own daughter. They eventually gave up and sent her to the coven for life, basically disowning her. There could probably be a plot point where the party has to meet up with her parents for politics reasons and there could be some heavy drama where Yuri gets to admit that she’s finally found people who accept and understand who she is and how to help her. Yay

Natsuki is that one edgy rogue who starts out as an enemy to the party. Runaway turned thief turned mercenary, she’s doing whatever it takes to survive out in this world. The party finds her as part of some rival mercenary band being hired by some random kingdom they encounter. The kingdom assigns the two groups on the same mission, but Natsuki’s teammates are assholes and push all the work onto Natsuki and the main party (they’re supposed be parallel her other friends). The four of them have to work together and start out antagonistic, but they slowly realize how messed up the situation with Natsuki is and how she really deserves better (for a lot of reasons). Natsuki meanwhile is experiencing an actual feeling of belonging and concern from others and is very conflicted, so when the rival mercenary’s decide to betray the main party and take the credit, she stands up for them and fights back, officially completing the party. She eventually learns to open up and trust people for the first time ever, having a place to call home and people she can feel safe with. She’d also have a ‘confront your past’ moment where they have to travel through her hometown that she ran away from. She feels terrified having to come back and potentially face her past, but not only is the town in way better shape her father had already died years after she left. While it seems like her whole backstory is unresolved, she comes to the conclusion on her own that she doesn’t need to be stuck in the past and no amount of confronting her father would change anything. Because she’d already found a family that loves her without him, and she’s promises she won’t end up like him.

And so the classic rpg party is formed and have their work cut out for them as they attempt to find the origins of the curse and eventually stop it. But it’s slowly revealed that the curse runs deeper in the origins of their world than they’ve thought possible. They can only either succumb to the darkness or deny reality itself to survive their fate. Who knows if they could face the reality of their world and still choose to save it. This world exists to give them a better ending. With all they’ve seen, could that still be possible?

There’s other stuff like more detailed backstory since I kinda skimmed over everything, certain plot points, and overall meta lore and how it connects to base game but that’s the rundown so far

Since it’s funny and technically correct I’m gonna call this the Doki Doki Isekai au

[sketchehm]

Lowkeyyy if you wanna like post the notes you have for dark sbi + Dream no one would complain (please please pmease lmease I'm so desperate for dark sbi content that revolves around dream 🙏)

I should....clean them up cause it's the kind of ooc that's way too indulgent, BUT. I'll describe each of them and I guess you guys can choose which one you want to hear about more :0?

None of them have like au names either, they're all just called storytime pfft

Storytime 1 - Dsmp alt timeline i guess? Techno breaking Dream out of prision but ends up keeping him trapped in his artic home to help "rehabilitate" him better than Quackity ever could. Turns more discduo centric real quick but has the rest of sbi all participating in uh..."helping" Dream get better. It actually is kinda soft if you ignore all the uh. Dark behaviors attached lmao. This one I have a beginning to end and is super self indulgent heheheh

Storytime 2 - A kind of mafia au where Dream is a dragon hybrid and ends up being tortured by Quackity so badly his mental breaks and only acts like his hybrid counterpart. After being trained like an obedient animal, he's "given" to sbi and ends up trailing Tommy around because of backstory stuff. Discduo centric again with a lot more rivals involved. Has a lot of world building kinda and I actually didn't write the most notes for this one but I remember it so clearly lmao Way less dark imo actually as sbi "want" Dream to get better but they're not really trying their best :3c Is most definitely not completed as I didn't know how I wanted to progress it at a certain point

Storytime 3 - LMAO I have no notes written for this except the premise omg. But it's a more rivals centric au where they're both part of some hybrid testing ability and are eventually rescued by Phil(and others). Phil is convinced Techno is his long lost son and wants to take him in but has to reluctantly take in Dream too as Techno refuses to leave him. Leads to rest of SBI kinda gaslighting Dream to be a "better" family member and while also trying to get Techno unattached from Dream too. It's actually pretty long and has two separate arcs I wanna say, with Phil and after Phil lmao It also has like. Way more than this and involves XD and Blood God in pretty significant ways too haha Also is completed in my head but like...super loosely..

Storytime 4 - Mainly discduo centric where Dream is a trapped baby god in some facility run by XD. This one is difficult to explain and kind of nonsensical but XD wants to find out how a godlings magic can be utilized to the max and is using Techno and Wilbur(not trapped in the facility and are more like....borrowed from other gods/patrons) to see how Dream reacts to "stimuli" and relations and how that affects the magic. Wilbur..."dies" at one point and leads to Dream to fall in a kind of depression(as he eventually conditioned himself to be codependent to Wilbur and Techno oops) which XD is upset at cause it's messing up his experiment. Techno ends up bringing Tommy to replace Wilbur. It's like....really weirdly complex and hard to summarize. Doesn't have an end per say as I wanted to do like a second arc but never went further. I guess it does have a conclusion to the first arc though. It's dark in the way that Dream is unintentionally affecting them to Want to be with him and not leave him which leads the others to act irrationally about and with him as well lmao

Yea that's about it! They all seem not that bad on the surface I think! And the notes I have definitely do not have everything I had in mind but thankfully I brainrotted on these for so long they're seared into my brain lmao

[athenasdragon]

Typed out a long response to @blasphemyenjoyer's question and I also want it on my blog, this being my diary of my dragon age obsession I guess.

Largely positive about writing choices below the cut with some critical elements, largely about how the realities of the game production necessitate a lack of flow between games.

[As always, sorry for putting a somewhat critical post in main tags, I try to make sure my followers can filter stuff accurately.]

So here's the thing: a lot of the replayability enjoyment of these games [blogger's note: DA series and RPGs more widely] for me comes from crafting different story decisions to roleplay different characters. The first time playing inquisition, not knowing how the choices I was making would play out, was exciting and crazy and scary! And then the second time, I felt like the urgency was gone and I could actually explore every corner of the world, and that was kinda more fun. Going in with a character made to target a specific romance or have a backstory connection to certain elements of the game or whatever is super fun for me.

Knowing that Rook is always going to get the rug pulled out from under them by Solas and have to face the grief of Varric being dead all a long is a fun thing to play with when making different characters. And a lot of the origins specifically have different ideas about death: my warden Rook is going to have a different relationship to Varric sacrificing himself for the sake of the mission than, say, a mourn watch Rook will have with the idea of seeing and interacting with the spirit of a departed friend.

Given that they made the choice to sacrifice Varric in this game, I'm not super mad at how they did it. I enjoyed the twists and turns, the reveal even though I figured out it was coming, and the replayability of it for at least the second time is crazy. For example,

"Hey, let's not get stuck in our regrets, all right?" -sock puppet of a guy who is about to trap you in a literal prison made of regret voice

I don't necessarily think it's bad for the series as a whole to shift towards a more streamlined set of choices so they can focus on big beats and character moments like this. They've known since the development of DA2 that it's incredibly hard for them to cash in on the results of the world-altering choices you make in past games. Don't have one character be dead in 25% of saves and alive in 75% of saves, let them have their moment.

UNFORTUNATELY having bg3 come out a year before this game really kneecapped my enjoyment of it. Because that was such a good example of loving detail breathing life into every square foot in a game world, and your choices coming back to matter in a concrete way BEFORE THE END OF THE GAME

also if they wanted to kill Varric off they should have done it in DA2 or Inquisition. Sorry. Have Cassandra actually kill him during the interrogation to find Hawke and we the player not find out until we're already the figurehead of the organization in the next game. Have him sacrifice himself if Hawke gets left in the fade in Inquisition. Hell, make the inquisitor the protagonist of this game so he's sacrificing himself in front of his friend of 10 years and not his employee of 6 months. like, I think there were better ways to do this, but it's beginning to be clear that they're only ever thinking one release ahead with a huge turnover of writers in between projects.

So maybe when they wrote Inquisition they did have good ideas to follow up on who becomes divine, who rules Orlais, how they track down solas, whatever, because those were the things they were focusing on. But then 10 years go by and the writing staff largely turns over and they're focused on writing another AAA fantasy rpg that can stand alone, and trying to bow to the whims of the market in terms of what's popular (oh maybe they want online multiplayer and a move away from the hugely d&d inspired mechanics--AH FUCK OOPS THE GOTY IS WHAT) so then you lose any sense of broader arc or intention over the series as a whole.

So there I guess that's my thoughts

[newbornwhumperfly]

with a minimum of interference...

this was a very exciting project for me, so i had to make it so, so sad 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 for this @whumpmasinjuly prompt - day 28: fill a whump prompt - i chose this beautiful prompt (self-imposed sleep deprivation) by @teine-mallaichte 😍😍😍 please forgive me in advance for turning into some heartbreaking backstory material for my boy morja...💔💔💔

CW: sleep deprivation, childhood neglect, accidental parentification trauma via latchkey kid syndrome, childhood poverty, oops it's all so sad folks please proceed with emotional caution <333

title insp. by this concept art quote by jenny holzer - “when you’ve been someplace for awhile, you acquire the ability to be practically invisible. This lets you operate with a minimum of interference.”

~

Makuahine was supposed to be home already. 9 PM, maybe later. She said it would be at nine. I'm sorry, Morja, I hope to be back as soon as I can from work, okay? It is eleven, beaming in the dark of the kitchen, and Morja is still waiting. 

It isn’t bad that she isn’t here at ten. Sometimes…it takes longer, sometimes. That’s what jobs are like. Morja knows that the buses are long and that sometimes work is longer than Maku thinks because bosses say stuff that's different, all the time, and that's a job. 

He’s not stupid. He’s able to understand. He's smart and responsible and knows money has to happen.

And still, even with money and obeying and jobs and taking care of the apartment and of Lehua, his eyes are itchy and burning. 

In the small walls, the hum of wires is quieter, the lights off, the small space all shadows. There’s so little space to walk around, just seven steps to the wall, seven steps to the other wall, where he can touch the buzzing fridge, the cold tiny sink, the table squished into the corner. 

Walk to the door. 

The latch, closed. The lock, turned. The other chair pushed under the handle, jammed up tight, secure. 

Morja walks to the corner by the door and, quiet, slow, rearranges the toys again. The little squishy floor-mat of blue and yellow stars was folded small, the little plastic basket had every toy stacked up. But maybe the trucks should go on the bottom and the soft toys on top. 

Trucks. Then the beanbag toys, laid in a row, little bunny, little cat, little dog. No, f-o-x. The two squishy stars. The big plastic ball on top. Neat, nice. Maku will be happy the corner is clean! He swept the floor with his little broom and got all the dust, even the tiny gritty bits, in the can. 

Morja likes when it is clean too. 

Stand up, knees and shoulders making the crackle noise, sore neck, rubbing his eyes again and his back hurts from bending. Walk quiet, so quiet, to the bedroom to check on Lehua. She cried and cried and was mad that Morja wasn’t Maku. Needed to be carried, wailing, until his arms hurt too much to hold her, hearing thumps and yells from the wall behind the kitchen at very loud screams. 

Morja doesn’t scream. He could. He could scream if he wanted but he’s too old for screaming. 

Lehua’s face is pink and clean on her tiny pillow, because Morja played and played and read and read the little book with its cracking spine and bright pictures and by the time she fell asleep, her cheeks were scrubbed from the snot and tears by the washcloth, snuggly and soft, and Morja did a good job.

The light through the blinds makes orange stripes over the tiny body, snuffling, curled around her blanket. Morja is extra quiet when he kneels next to the mattress to touch her head. 

Not hot.

Morja blows out, soft, cause that’s good. This mattress is so soft, bigger than his, with springy bounce. He knows he’s small for his mattress but this one is just nicer, wider, more room for stretching. 

Morja pillows his cheek on the mattress, his nose just so close to Lehua’s balled-up fist, and her chest rises and falls. Sometimes Morja lays awake and watches, when he can’t fall asleep. Watches Maku breathe, the weird rasping wet noise it makes, like a gasp. Watches Lehua breathe, so small it’s sometimes hard to tell it’s happening. 

Morja doesn’t like that kind of breathing, the air that happens when you’re sick. 

The mattress is soft under his cheek. 

Not so scratchy. 

No, c’mon, get up. Keep watch. It’s not Morja sleep-time.

Morja wants to keep the lights on, because, well, he knows he has work. Brightness will help. But it’s so important not to keep the lights on too much cause of money. He chews his lip, thinking. The school has given him pages to practice his language skills, he thinks the tall pale man with a pale shirt and pale hair said. Pale sheets of paper in his hands and so, so many lines. 

Even when it’s dark and there’s a throb behind his eyes, Morja can still be helpful and finish these lines for tomorrow. If he shoves himself into the very corner of the wall, where the bad-wet-smell of the room is strongest, a strong streetlight pokes through slats of window-blinds. 

It’s orange and white and burns in a way that thumps the inside of his head. But it’s bright enough to see the paper. Black lines thump against his eyeballs, neck sore as it bends low to the paper, one fingertip tracing.

What is the right answer to a stranger asking “how are you?” 1. “I am good, thank you.” 2. “I am good, how are you?” 3. “I am good.”

The clock on the top of the stove beeps, red and gleaming through the grills. 

12.00 AM

“Ughhhhhhhhhhhh.” 

Morja huffs through his teeth and rests his head against the wall. The stink and the hum makes his head throb harder but it keeps him up. Pangs shoot through his belly and his hand, sore, thumb and finger raw and indented-red from holding his pen, rubs over his stomach. Hungry is good, it keeps him- he can stay awake if he thinks about eating and how Maku will have maybe a snack from one of the late-car-places.

Dry noodles and powder rattling in a box.

S-t-a-t-e.

Meat in strips, hard and dry and hot.

R-a-e-t-e-a.

Chocolate in shiny wrapping, crunchy nuts and sweet goo and soft fluff, that is so rare.

N-e-w A-t-h-e-n-s.

Salt and sugar and butter and stuff that isn't on the list of what's allowed that Maku takes to the store.

1:00 AM.

Swimming black letters. Orange paper. Icky smell. Head hurts.

Maybe if he closed his eyes for a second.

But what if- Morja grunts and digs his fingers into the burn, sniffing hard. What if the door’s locked and Maku can’t come in? What if Lehua rolls off the bed? What if there’s a fire? 

What if something bad happened?

It’s the ache, like being hungry but worse, that keeps Morja up, more than his head hurting or his eyes itching or his butt and his legs getting sharp prickles. The what if thudding in his small chest, keeping his heart fast and his eyes watery. The worry keeps him awake, keeps him doing a good job, the worry helps.

By the time the sky gets oranger than the streetlamps and the chain rattles in return, Morja has learned how to keep the stomachache constant. By the time it is safe to lay down, he passes the hours to school with his hands over his stomach, the sharpness in his belly, in his chest, pressing, pressing, pressing. By the time he doesn’t need it anymore, it sticks. 

By the time he turns in his papers, clean and white and perfect, Morja learns more than one lesson to be perfect at.

~

so sincerely hope you enjoy what i've done with your excellent prompt, @teine-mallaichte!!! 😭🥰💖🥺

taglist: @much-ado-about-whumping @haro-whumps @whump-tr0pes @whumpzone @i-eat-worlds

@whumpthisway @whumping-every-day @whump-me-all-night-long @liliability @stoic-whumpee

@thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @whatgoeswhumpinthenight @whumpster-draganies @scoundrelwithboba @kixngiggles

@redwingedwhump @suspicious-whumping-egg @straight-to-the-pain @wolfeyedwitch @tears-and-lilies

have a very merry @whumpmasinjuly everyone! 💖💖💖

@whumpmasinjuly-archive

[scruffyssketchbook]

hey scruffy so long ne see, so the more i think about it. the more i realize why i hated Vay so much and that because he come off as whiny instead of sympatric. he a emo Pokémon that lash at people who look at him wrong (even if some who care for him like blizz). we never see much of his sad side to see why he is doing this stuff. his ego is so bad and overdone that i felt like more annoyed than funny. and his relationship with daisy has basically no chemistry due to the fact that Vay never once said a word to her at all (which i won't mind if he didn't act so delusional about it.

sorry if i sound mean after a while talking to you, this thought came to me after a watched a show called murder drone where the mc is a emo girl robot called Uzi doorman that is kind of like Vay but had some moment where she can be relatable without her emo personality being on the way.

not saying you writing is bad and all, but i am tell you why Vay is my least favorite of the main cast and how i hope box 31 can fix the problem.

Few things!!!

1- I agree with this!!! :D I wouldn’t just call Vay emo tho, because he’s also like… really REALLY SPOILED. The other main boys enabled his bad behavior so much that he thinks everything he’s doing is RIGHT. His Ego is through the roof because he wants to desperately prove himself so much that it’s a detriment to literally everyone around him, and he’s really MEAN too, mean for no reason sometime. (Let’s remember the time Blizz asked him a question and Vay proceeded to BEAT HIM UP AND BITE PART OF HIS EAR OFF). I actually have talked about this a bit in the Discord server.

2- I recognized how we never saw Vay’s good side, and that’s why the “All in a Vay’s work” chapter was made, to show that good side a bit. SADLY IT’S A BIT TOO LATE FOR THAT THO LMAO. VAY IS KIND OF A HORRIBLE CORRUPT COP, THAT IS LITERALLY HIS CHARACTER. 😂😂😂😂

3- Daisy x Vay was never supposed to happen in ssec. Vay is a creep towards her due to being socially inept. The lack of chemistry between them is very intentional.

4- Box 31 fixes all of these problems with Vay. I mean. I guess they were not problems per se, but rather, these character flaws that made Vay extremely unlikeable. I basically just took out the variables that enabled his awful behavior but kept his base goals. I shared a bit of Vay’s new backstory and life with someone yesterday and accidentally turned them into “Vay’s #1 glazer” (self proclaimed). Oops.

5- Oh I’d def call my writing bad. Or rather, not bad, but there are fundamental problems with SSEC’s writing that I will be talking about in a video I’m making. And these problems have been a huge detriment to the story and characters at large for years imo.

Personally, I love the SSEC Criticism btw!!! I do wish I can get critique from people on what I’m writing for Box 31 before I upload it and what now, but for now I guess I gotta just keep developing it. So far, I can say that I like every single character more than their ssec counterpart (except B31 Miku. Honestly I’m very frustrated with her rn and I literally have to change the entire story I came up with regarding her cause I DON’T LIKE IT. SSEC Miku, my beloved💔💔💔. Genuinely sad I have to leave her behind for whatever Box 31 Miku is. 😡😡😡😡 I’m working on her 😭.)

[viiviidlights]

UUUUAUAUAUAUAUA I NEED TO TALK ABOUT MY OCS AND AUS MORE WHAT...

thinking and. I've got a shitload of stories and freaks that exist in my brain but. If I ever decided to post about them I'm kinda curious if there are any that. Stick out to people??? I might post this as a poll for my followers but. Well idrc... Summaries of things will be under the poll after a cut

The summaries like I promised:

1. TWSTery Dungeon: a PMD x TWST au that I've posted a little bit about on my art blog (@/heartslabyulzz) and have considered moving posts about it here. Oops all pokemon. I've got quite a lot figured out about it and I think it's generally cohesive.

2. 2wisted Wonderland: a timeskip au that takes place 5 years after Yuu is sent to twst. It operates under a few assumptions (namely, Yuna is the original Yuu sent to twst and that Yuu goes home after the first year and does not come home). It follows the adventures of Yulia Glosset, a young girl who was isekaid out of nowhere, and also a very confused Yuna and her now 5 year old younger brother, Kevin. They have their own separate plots, but also occasionally overlap when Yulia is forced to face overblots on her own campus journey. Not as fleshed out as TWSTery Dungeon, believe it or not, since I actually don't have all the characters figured out yet, BUT it's still a pretty fleshed-out au (for Yulia, at least).

3. Gaians: I've mentioned gaians before here, but they're basically my own interpretation of elemental beings. I've got a lot of really fun world building for them and would love to share about my silly creatures.... They've existed since I was in middle school (so like... At least 9 years?) so... Fun.

4. Dr:P: as it says in the poll - this is a fangan I conjured up like... Almost 7 or 8 years ago now, but I think I'd like to revisit it for funsies. Maybe talk about the characters and the story in my head (I also have a really fun side story that goes along with it that focuses on the deceased characters so... Yeah.)

5. Pokemon OCs/Au: i like giving personalities and backstories to my pokemon as though they are people. This topic is a culmination of those stories and has turned into a little world/au of it's own. Shout-out to my favorite Lopunny ever, Bun-Bun (Lorraine, in this lore), who has been through the ringer (got sent back in time and returned to see everyone around her aged a lot in that time, including her own son).

6. Demon OCs/Lore: uh... More OC stuff. I've got a whole heaven/hell thing with my OC lore. Don't think about it too hard (actually please do I've got some fun stuff in this stuff too pls ask me about Lyle and Thalia please ask me about Gabe and Ifrit please please please-)

[bigmilk-13]

No Time To Die just started playing on my Spotify and I was like

😯🤯

IMMA ADD NEW FLORIAN LAFAYETTE-MEADOWS LORE

so basically he was a CSIS agent the WHOLE time, undercover at V.I.L.E, joined by giving the harddrive filled with information about any criminals and projects the organisation has. Hecs accepted into V.I.L.E because he's a conman and trickster, so he tricked them into paying a load of money for the harddrive.

THIS WHOLE TIME HE'S UNDERCOVER, AND THE FIRST TIME HE SEES CARMEN HE HATES HER BECAUSE HE JUST KNOWS SHE'LL MESS UP HIS MISSION!

anyways, she tells him that V.I.L.E killed his father and yah-

*cue bigass mental breakdown*

He disappears, doesn't give CSIS the info from V.I.L.E because THEY NEVER TOLD HIM HE WAS GOING TO BE FAKE-WORKING FOR THE ORGANISATION THAT KILLED HIS DAD??

and Carmen's worried, the whole of Team Red is.

Julia has a whole different backstory, she's an MI6 agent working for Interpol, then ACME

but you must be thinking, "oh my god! but isn't Roundabout the head of MI6!?"

Yah, but before him is Alan Blunt, the head of MI6 in the Alex Rider book series. Then V.I.L.E does some stuff and puts Roundabout as head, after Julia is at ACME working undercover and Roundabout doesn't know about that.

Also Roundabout is her father.

Yay?

Anyways, I'm getting off track.

Jules finds him, and turns out he made his own team and all. He contacts CSIS and is told to have Team Red join his team, Team Purple, as an individual kind of team, but just so they can keep an eye on what she's doing and help her if they can.

Of course, they don't tell Florian that- so he doesn't tell Carmen and she disagrees. They get into a fight and Florian meets with CSIS again saying that she denied their request at cooperation.

CSIS told him to go undercover at V.I.L.E again, to go back and say that he was taken away and tortured (they had to get rid of one of his fingers to make it believable, which is why he has 4 fingers in his left hand) but he never gave away anything.

He goes back to V.I.L.E and well, they don't trust him.

So, they do the usual.

They brainwash him.

Oops, well he's not undercover anymore- is he.

He meets Carmen at another caper, again on different sides. She had no idea what's going on and why he's on V.I.L.E's side, but doesn't say anything. Loses the fight with him and runs away.

Carmen tells Jules, who was told everything by CSIS. She reveals that she's actually an MI6 agent and explains the whole thing to Carmen.

there's so much more but I think I'd have to write a fanfic about the Florian Lafayette-Meadows CS&AR OC au.

[imminent-danger-came]

what would your ideal lmk season five look like? specifically for mk's character arc because I love your takes on that

I've said it before I want that boy centrifuged by the narrative

I didn't get the title of "MK death spiral blog" that one time by that one guy for nothing. I am 1000% on the "MK getting centrifuged by the narrative" pain train.

Now, in all honestly my ideal lmk s5 is the one they give me. These writers are so talented and they know more about their story than I do, so whatever they got planned is going to make me lose my mind!

But, indulging myself a little bit, here's a list of some things I'd love to see in s5 (or beyond???):

Sun Wukong V MK fight. Anyone who has followed me for any amount of time probably knows this. I need a SWK and MK fallout and then I need them to build their relationship up stronger.

MK Guilt Over Azure's death. That boy felt guilty for "releasing DBK from the underworld" when it was definitely Red Son who did that. MK arguably had a huge hand in Azure's death, being the one to cause Azure to finally lose his grasp on the Jade Emperor's powers.

Samadhi Fire Part 3. Anyone who has followed me for any amount of time also probably knows this. I want MK to be in the position of Samadhi Fire Mei and Jade Emperor Azure, unable to control his own powers, and needing to be talked down by Mei or someone else. We got one half of a 3x10 parallel in 4x08, and I need more!

Mei Dragon Form. Please for the love of god I want her to turn into a dragon so bad—nonnegotiably while she's protecting the people she cares about, for the sweet 4x05 callback. In my heart of hearts, I want Mei to unlock dragon form while trying to reach MK during Samadhi Fire Part 3. If we don't get another "We will figure this out together" what's the fucking point.

MK Subodhi Training??? Or honestly, MK interacting with real Subodhi in general. Did you see his face after the world reformed in 4x14? That was not a face of confidence.

Sandy Backstory. Which partially includes Pigsy. I just want to know what his 2x08 PTSD flashbacks were all about. *pulls out conspiracy board* I want to say those flashbacks take place at the 1x09 battlefield, which has helmets that we then see in 4x01, but who knows!

Sun Wukong homeless arc. Flower Fruit Mountain was destroyed during the s4 special, and I want to see the consequences of that, especially if MK feels guilty about it! Which he probably will!

MK Spiral! This isn't as much of a prediction/want as it is just a fact. MK is going DOWN next season and I'm here with popcorn and tears. I need a FULL harbinger of chaos meltdown.

Macaque is just there, hanging out. After everything that happened last season I hope we see Macaque around a lot more, because I love him but also because I need MK to yell at him too. Also because "Whatever they're scheming we can handle it."

Yellowtusk helps Ne Zha maintain the seal. Yellowtusk had an important skill in helping Azure contain the Jade Emperor's powers—I'm wondering if he could do the same with Ne Zha's lotus seal.

MK Flashback. You know, how he got to Pigsy's, the circumstances of his birth, an explanation for what the fuck the stone monkey is/all those stone animals were, all that good stuff.

Bye Bye Bandana. If/when MK snaps and completely loses himself to whatever he is, I'd love for the headband to come off. Really cement it.

MK Relives His Nightmares Again. Oops. After going "So we never have to live our nightmares again!" in 4x12 I now need the opposite of that to happen. Sorry MK. I need his new "Better than we found it" resolve to fold like the soggy french fry it is. That ain't lasting.

Hurting The People You Care About Theme. So with "hurting the people who care about you the most" and everything being "to pain", I really want this to go a "hurting people is a part of life" route. We're already almost there with "Mistakes happen but as long as you leave the world better than you found it then it's all good." Like that's SO close. Come on s5 give it to me.

Wukong Killed Macaque Reveal. *twirls hair* This would sooooo not bode well for MK.

MK Gets Out of His "Good Guy" "Bad Guy" Way of Thinking. I think 4x11 as an episode really highlights this. MK views people as one or the other, ignoring the vast grey area that a lot of people fall in. Wukong in his past wasn't just "a bad guy", just like he isn't currently flawless or wholly "a good guy" now. He's just a guy.

I could probably go on forever, so I'll cut this off here!

[thisisnotacampaign]

Some basic backstory notes because if I try to write anything with a plot I will actually die very much to death so-

- The campaign is basically Baldur’s Gate 3 without being bg3. I don’t know enough about bg as a series to make it take place there, and I haven’t finished the game yet either, so most of the story elements are just very vague and made up.

- The gist of it is that Lyra starts as the main protagonist, a half elf warlock who has been captured and experimented on by a group of mindflayers. Lyra recalls very little of the capture and experimentation and wakes in a forest feeling incredibly weak. Over the next several days she encounters many other victims. Larkspur, a half elf bard, child of a nobleman in the royal city of Hawk’s Rest. Enoch, a tiefling warlock and scholar from the mage city of Civitae. Sparrow, a human paladin and former soldier dedicated to light and the preservation of life itself. And Wren, a drow fighter who, before this, had never left the Underdark.

- They learn of a dark sorcerer, a Lolth-sworn drow, named Cael who is rumored to be working with the mindflayers in a bid to take over the royal city and insert himself as Emperor.

- Convinced that Cael is the one behind their abductions and dark magic controlling the illithid parasites waiting in their heads, the group finds and attempts to kill him.

- Spoiler alert! Cael did originally intend for this to be the case, but apparently mindflayers don’t really take kindly to being told what to do by egotistical and narcissistic drow, so they’d taken him and stuffed his head with a parasite too.

- First, actually. He’d been the first one taken. And he’d used his magic to bind the tadpole to stop the ceremorphosis. And he’d kind of managed to do that to all the tadpoles. Oops?

- Now the mindflayers had a bunch of cursed tadpoles and they can’t resist an experiment, so… sorry everyone else, it’s eye worm time!

- Cael escapes the group. Wren is severely injured during the attack. They break off to regroup. Sparrow takes all of Cael’s journals for a bit of “light reading” and learns all this plot stuff.

- They find Cael again, this time after the drow had been captured (again) and tortured (again) and learn that if he dies then the magic binding their tadpoles will release and then they’ll all become mindflayers (oops).

- And that’s most of the plot, really. There’s probably some deus ex machina in the third act where they find a cleric or other healer that tells them they can remove the tadpole if the spell is broken so Cael has to decide to either sacrifice himself to save the other five, or just allow the spell to continue for the remainder of his natural life and damn the others into not knowing if or when they might be turned into mindflayers, and because character development he lets himself die and it’s all very sad and satisfying. (Can’t there be another way? Shhh. No. It’s about the character arc. Cael has been killing others for centuries to prolong his life, and has the chance to do something good to save the people who he himself had damned okay let me have this.)

- And that’s that. Heroes saved. Probably some mindflayers get killed. Everyone goes off and lives happily ever after (and I get to write the vignettes 🥰)

[maleficore]

Saw someone else do it and I think I've done this before too, but the list has grown since then a bit so here's my current lineup of read dead wips that I'm working on!! :D Minus the stuff that's already posted on AO3 cuz I see no point in doing a synopsis for things that have left my google drive and you can go and read ahah.

Turned out loooooong so lookie under the cut if you're interested in knowing what I'm up to.

Morston Soulmate AU (title tba, multichapter, around 20-30k when finished) - An AU where you can feel all the injuries your soulmate gets, both minor and major ones. There's no soul marks, seeing your soulmate get hurt and connecting the dots is the only way to find out. Has a lot of time skips and focuses more on feelings than events, but starts out pre-canon when John almost gets lynched and works its way towards the end of the canon story. Chapters alternate between Arthur's and John's POV. Canon compliant :)

RDR2 "Modern AU" (title tba, multichapter, long as shit) - I only call it a modern AU for the sake of simplicity... I'm not sure if it counts as one. Set in 1999 and focuses on the case of Arthur Matthews -- a 36 year old adoptive son of the infamous criminal defence lawyer Hosea Matthews, who went missing without a trace for six months and then reappeared miles from his hometown, seemingly unharmed, but also... not quite right. Delusional, confused, suffering from some sort of memory impairment. The story is about Arthur struggling to adapt to being back home in a reality that is apparently foreign to him. Outsider's/John's POV, but not really shippy. It can be read as pre-slash, though.

My Self-Indulgent Jesse/Arthur fic (another title tba lol, it's too early to tell but I'm thinking multichapter? A collection of scenes from 1878 to 1899) - This one is for me and me only, though I will eventually post it 😂 Written in second person, like a reader-insert and can be read as one if someone wants to, but I am including Jesse's backstory and feelings that are way too specific to be immersive for anyone but myself... I'm working real hard to write it in a way that portrays growing up queer in that time somewhat realistically, so it's not always pretty, but I do try to keep it not that depressing. Features: Jesse's early-life backstory, the story of the scar, his first Gay Experience, how his brothers died, the ups and downs of his relationship with Arthur, why they eventually broke up for what felt like last time, how he got arrested (altered RDO storyline bit) and how he got back up with the gang. I'm planning to do a rough rewrite/fix-it of the canon story with him in it too, but that's... an "one day" thing ajsddjfk

Morston Omegaverse (title tba, one shot, around 10-15k probably? I can't keep things short, sorry) - Young-ish and freshly presented Alpha John, "Closeted" Omega Arthur. Ngl this one is smutty as hell... but! I think my take on omegaverse is rather fun (very transgendered) and it's porn WITH not without plot so something for everyone there lol. John's POV again + lotsa feelings, misunderstandings and some angst :) Just the way I like it.

Vandermatthews Daemon AU (had a title but ao3 yeeted my draft and I forgot what it was, oops)- I say Vandermatthews, but it's more of a "curious couple, unruly son" genfic than real slashfic 😅 This is supposed to be the beginning a series of oneshots from different characters' POV. This one is maybe a 1/3 done (needs a serious rewrite tho) and written from Hosea's POV. It's about him and Dutch finding and taking in young Arthur -- a very traumatised child who has undergone intercision and therefore lost his daemon. More of a collection of vignettes from that moment to when they take in John than a real coherent fic tho. The next one is going to be John's POV coming of age thing and we'll see where my brain will go from there. I want to do a separate big ass post about this one later because I have Opinions on the gang members' daemons that I need either challenged or validated...

1907!John/Isaac fic (title tba... a two parter, one set in the epilogue and the second is a RDR1 fix-it) - NOW HEAR ME OUT!!!!!! PUT DOWN THE GODDAMN PITCHFORKS FOR A SECOND PLS This is a plot bunny that Refused To Fucking Die. Isaac is obviously an adult in this (22), they have never met before, and the story begins in the months where Abigail and Jack were gone and John worked alone on Pronghorn ranch. It's not so much a romance (despite the slash) but more two people dealing with different types of grief in Very Unhealthy ways, okay. It's supposed to be a bit iffy because of that and the... 12 years of difference between them in this universe. I'm not trying to make this shit uwu or anything. It's also a bit of a daddy issues vent piece for me and I've been working it for MONTHS because I want to write this one right. This is the the fic I redacted in my last WIP showcase, but now decided that... fuck it. Here you go.

(Doubt anyone has made it this far, but if you did ily.. please lemme know what you think? My ask box is open for questions too... I love talking about the stuff I'm working on even if it's not posted yet ❤)

[taras-toe-beans]

Hi, I'm Bec, just another bg3 player on Tumblr dot com. Made a sideblog so I don't flood my main with bg3 reblogs. I will also be posting more general dnd stuff from time to time, especially since some of my bg3 ocs are either based on characters I played in campaigns, or went from bg3 to being played in a campaign.

I do art and write some fic, but I don't share a whole lot.

Ask box is open. I'd love to answer questions about bg3, dnd in general, my ocs- pretty much anything, really.

Also sorry for the lack of durges, but I really can't think of much original stuff in terms of backstory so I've kind of left that alone

Basics about my ocs:

Izzrhys Illith'vir (my main Tav, subject of a majority of art/fic stuff, I'm playing him in a dnd campaign as well)- he/him, drow, oath of devotion paladin with 2 levels in life cleric, neutral good. Romancing Gale

Aesir Corvus (an actual dnd character I used, used them for my first tactician level bg3 campaign)- they/them, half high elf thief subclass rogue, chaotic good, romancing Wyll. They and Xarek are half-siblings.

Xarek (originally a dnd character I played in a short campaign with my in-laws, turned the Tav for my second attempt at an honor mode playthrough. He won :3)- he/him, half drow fiend patron warlock, chaotic neutral, romancing Karlach. He and Aesir are half-siblings.

Tiresias (technically my Curse of Strahd character, although I did start a bg3 playthrough with him that I'll maybe see through, especially because he feels very morally different from my other ocs.) he/him, grave domain cleric of Loviatar, lawful evil, no romance selected, if I do pick one at all. (Also, side note: I could not find anything that really fit him in cc, so this is as close as I'm getting. I have sketches that I'll post separately.)

Aratris (my first Tav, made for a multi-player campaign), they/them, half-wood elf circle of the moon druid (though they probably spend more time in owlbear form than in humanoid form lmao), true neutral. Romance undecided. Lae'zel romance bugged out in act 1, so they'll probably end up with Halsin. As of right now, it doesn't look like their campaign is ever actually getting finished sadly.

Leoryn (obligatory bard playthrough???) they/she, high elf lore college bard, neutral good, romancing Astarion

Talaak (My one and only Dark Urge who is not fleshed out very much oops)- she/her, silver dragonborn storm sorcerer, neutral evil romancing Minthara

Roszira- she/her, a strongheart halfling who I lovingly refer to as the "world's worst Tav". She's going to multiclass in everything. Yes, everything. Needless to say, she's incredibly indecisive. I made her to do one of the Steam achievements (multiclass into all classes without using withers) and I know there are a million easier ways to do it, but this has just become my fuck around and get achievements playthrough. Chaotic good. Romancing Shadowheart. Update: I got so many achievements with Roszira's save file, and after hers, I only had two left, one of which was completing honor mode. Thank you for your service, Roszira. Sorry I turned you into a squid.

[accidentally-in-fictional-love]

Sooo I finally got to read the Simon fic, and it was so good! You made me warm up to him more and understand him a little better. It was a nice way to save him too, I like that the protagonist isn't this perfect individual, they get jealous, a lil bit stalky, which quite honestly is very relatable and realistic. Couple questions:

Do you think there's a character that is beyond saving? Denham, Willy, Dave from Heavy (lol jk) Is there hope for everyone?

Do you plan on writing for characters that have died and if so, will you come up with a way to bring them back or have the story take place before the death or alternate universe?

Every time I get love for my fics with one of the lesser loved characters my heart grows three sizes and I want everyone to know this Q//w//Q This answer got long so I'm putting it behind a cut, I've never gotten to answer something like this before other than my Simon one from yesterday so this was a lot of fun to think about! 💗

Going into writing readers I honestly thought I'd just be writing me over and over, but as I do more of them I'm so glad that it's easy to fit someone different into whatever role the character needs them to be, which is so different from my usual stuff since I'm very used to fitting the plot around purely existing characters, or my own ocs, and getting to write up someone new who can mesh with these guys while also having that bit of me and what I hope are bits of the people who read them is so incredibly refreshing and a constant challenge I welcome 😊

I feel like some are beyond saving, but only because I have a horrible fear of getting attacked for wanting to find a way to save the unsaveable just because I'm into villains and think they're hot lmao

It's a challenge for sure, but I don't see myself being able to do any villain redemptions for Denham or Willy or even Realtor Dave since they're so surface level evil and love the hell outta it (even though my villain-lovin ass can probably still give them fully fledged proper backstories oop), unlike Simon or Kyle Slade or Logan Reeves, who all have short parts and did very bad things but also have peeks into how they got there, and I can always work with that.

I love doing deep dives and finding out how a character in the present got to where they are, figure out where they can go when they miss that One Event that made them a villain, and doing it with DD's roles has been so much fun since he loves playing rounded out characters and is always adding so much to them so they're not Just Evil, even if we get a few who're exactly that just for funsies hehe

This is why Gensan is such an interesting character to me despite The Big Flaw, because I see him get reduced to only that when there's a ton that made him that way. I'll never ship with him, the super rare character I don't since DD lures me in that easily, but I can't hate him either, and that's just the honest truth because he's so much more than Uh Oh Plot Twist because DD's such an amazing writer. This movie and Animals stuck with me the most after I watched them, I was just thinking about them for like a solid week afterwards, constantly turning over what I'd just seen in my mind whenever I stopped thinking of other things and putting those early pieces together so I could see why he reacted that way, or did what he did, and I'd love to try and watch it again soon and catch all the stuff I missed the first time.

And then there's Cam, who just really fuckin sucks lmao he's the absolute worst, 0 stars, kick to the balls, what an asshole 😂

As for characters who died, of course! Two of my biggest loves are Abner and Wojchek, and I'm also madly in love with Bob now as well, so they'll all have fully fledged fixits with my selfship sona Addy as I get back to all her plots, Abner first and foremost oh my god my heart I love him so much he needs to be alive and happy forever 😭

Outside of her, yes absolutely I'll find ways to save them for my readers, their canon endings will not stop me QwQ A lot of them don't deserve their ends with or without redemptions if they're a villain (looking at you Dwight you maniac I love you), and definitely not if they're good people who're just in the wrong place at the wrong time like Lonny or Lester or Coco now that I've finally watched BR2049. I'll probably mostly stick to saving them before their deaths rather than bringing them back or delving into aus (apart from the starting au of having the reader in their lives lol) since those kinda ideas can get away from me fast and start series, and I wanna save all the big series for my boys the Three River Phoenixes and all of Addy's plots~

This is where I'd love to get more requests, since I'm still mainly writing for who I love, so getting that random challenge to fix or save someone evil or who died before any real character of theirs was established would be hard but I know I'd have a lot of fun with them 😊💗