#sorry I haven't been doing these everyday like my goal

[yoursassybookwormfriend]

Nevermoor Fun Fact #13:

According to calculations, Cadence got at least 3 candidates to fail the Trials

[astonmartinii]

big reputation part two | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x fem reader

a new season dawns but that doesn't mean we don't have a map to our buried hatchets

MASTERLIST | BUY ME A KO-FI? | PART ONE

charles_leclerc

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 3,221,783 others

charles_leclerc: ferrari has been home for as long as i can remember, even before i joined the academy, the dream of driving for ferrari gave me a purpose. i am heartbroken it hasn't worked out, but formula one is, at the end of the day, a selfish sport and i have to think about my real goal here: to win a championship. ferrari has an amazing history, but that is what it is history. in the four years i have been here i haven't seen the drive and ambition to be as ruthless and as complete as they were with michael and with kimi. therefore i have to leave. it hurts me to leave the tifosi, but know you're always in my heart and i will always hold dear your support. grazie regazzi essere ferrari ❤️

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user3: i knew it was coming but HOLY FUCK CHARLIE COME HOME

user4: tifosi lecfosi YES SIR

user5: for real i'm down for him not that clown team

yourusername: i'm proud of you charlie, i knew how much this took. but you have to put yourself first at some point. i love you

charles_leclerc: i love you too. i'm sorry i can't stop crying

yourusername: no i love that you are so passionate. it's been a long season and you're finally allowed to let it all out

charles_leclerc: can we go to a rage room?

yourusername: FUCK YEA

maxverstappen1: pretty please may i join. i have a lot of rage. call it teammate bonding?

charles_leclerc: give me a tow in bahrain quali?

maxverstappen1: fine (NO ONE SCREENSHOT THIS OR HOLD ME TO IT)

yourusername: at least this one i don't mind having to third wheel us

user6: the SHADE that's mother right there

user7: trying to stay insanely normal over the fact that max, charles and y/n are besties

pierregasly: congrats calmar, HOWEVER, i though i was your favourite third wheel 🥰

yourusername: but you bring kika ??? how can you third wheel if kika is there? DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW TO COUNT?

charles_leclerc: thank you pear i love you brother

user8: i love how this is some super sentimental post and y/n is asking pierre if he can count i hope they never change

landonorris: max as fave third wheel ??? @alexalbon @georgerussll63 twitch quartet erasure

yourusername: womp womp

alexalbon: WOMP WOMP?

charles_leclerc: guys i'm sad about leaving my dream team where is the compassion?

georgerussell63: yeah boo hoo there are bigger things at play here I DID NOT SIT THROUGH YOUR TEN HOUR MELTDOWN ON AN APPROPRIATE TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY GIFT NOT TO BE TOP THIRD WHEEL

yourusername: you fools really will argue about anything huh

landonorris: this is the sanctity of our friendship on the line here

user9: the grid was really like YOU might be sad about leave ferrari but we ain't

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 1,421,455 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: holibobs with sharlie

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user10: i love as soon as the season finishes charles becomes THEE instagram boyf

user11: j.peg account? no. just taking photos of y/n? YES.

charles_leclerc: i have an eye for beauty

yourusername: heheheheheheehehehehehee

alexalbon: so he can use a camera? why does he only take 0.5s of me?

yourusername: the best angle for your big ol dome

alexalbon: EXCUSE ME ?

yourusername: yeah sorry that was a bit far

alexalbon: it's like you got off the ferrari leash and now we all have to suffer

yourusername: WELP

charles_leclerc: ma belle, the only one i'll actually listen to and put sun cream on

yourusername: yes you will because we...

charles_leclerc: put spf on everyday !!

yourusername: yes! because...

charles_leclerc: we're scared of aging?

yourusername: no?

charles_leclerc: we want to be safe 👍

maxverstappen1: you guys done with the kindergarten reading lessons?

yourusername: have you seen lobster leclerc? this kind of work needed to be done

user12: lobster leclerc? goodbye, goodbye, goodbye you were bigger than the whole sky

user13: see now i'm confused cause why are some papers saying that they're breaking up? or that charles is embarrassed by the way y/n acts?

user14: bestie we've been through this DON'T TRUST THOSE HOES - TRUST THESE HOES

liked by yourusername

user15: unless i see it from the horse's mouth I WILL NEVER BELIEVE THEY'VE BROKEN UP

redbullracing

liked by yourusername, christianhorner and 882,339 others

tagged: charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1

redbullracing: charles the qualifying king takes his first pole position for red bull in his first race and is joined by max for a front row lockout

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user18: UNWELL

user19: suck on that ferrari xoxo

user20: *rubs eyes* is that... max being happy to be challenged by a teammate ???

user21: winning three championships really takes the heat off huh

yourusername: THAT'S MY MAN YALL

charles_leclerc: love you baby

yourusername: love you too darling

maxverstappen1: love you three 🫶

yourusername: this is not the problem i thought we'd have when coming to red bull

maxverstappen1: my gf can't make most of the races so you WILL deal with me

user22: max being clingy to charles and y/n is so fucking funny to me

user23: sainz not making it out of q1? shwartzman only making it to q2 but still out qualifying carlos? charles looking sexy in blue? EVERY TONGUE THAT RISES AGAINST CHARLES LECLERC SHALL FALL

christianhorner: mega job boys, let's keep our eyes on tomorrow

maxverstappen1: tell them they have to let me come to dinner with them

christianhorner: isn't this the exact reason we rehired daniel

charles_leclerc: PLEASE MAKE DANIEL COME TO THE NEXT RACE

maxverstappen1: erm rude

charles_leclerc: i'm sorry i'm not used to a teammate that actually wants to be friends for real

yourusername: EXCEPT SEB WE LOVE SEB

yourusername: but for real max emilian i am monitoring the dutch papers... be very careful

user24: healthy teammate relationships (for now) ??? is this what heaven is like

user25: are you telling me that if max doesn't get the lead in the first lap he might actually HELP charles .... a certain spanish individual could never

charles_leclerc

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 2,778,451 others

tagged: yourusername, maxverstappen1

charles_leclerc: wow !! a 1 - 2 in our first race i couldn't be happier. this car is a dream to drive and i'm so grateful to red bull for being so welcoming. teamwork makes the dream work

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user26: tears in my eyes

user27: okay i understand both of them are like with their forever partners but lestappen is also real TWO THINGS CAN EXIST AT ONCE

yourusername: SHARLIE OMG YOU TALENTED, TALENTED KING

charles_leclerc: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

yourusername: crying sesh. sharlie's drivers room @ 8. bring your own alcohol and tissues

charles_leclerc: just to make sure everyone knows THESE ARE HAPPY TEARS

landonorris: SAP ALERT GET IT TOGETHER MAN

yourusername: i know lando no-wins ain't talking rn 🤨

charles_leclerc: you walked into that one buddy

landonorris: just because i'm friends with carlos doesn't mean you have to come after me like him ...

this comment has been deleted

yourusername: bold... real bold. you're lucky i'm doing meditation and yoga (and that i want to make a good impression on christian)

alexalbon: lando do NOT look at the text she just sent your your ego CANNOT take it

user28: no no no do spill... i need the ammo if he ever takes out my fave

user29: true i need it for the next time either of the ugly twins at ferrari open their gobs

oscarpiastri: it was brutal. they need to get y/n to host the reading challenge on drag race

yourusername: oscar knows drag race?

oscarpiastri: i might be an athlete but i'm not completely uncultured

maxverstappen1: if we're talking being cultured... GET READY FOR YOUR FIRST RED BULL PARTY

yourusername: born ready my university years singlehandedly financed your 'catering budget'

charles_leclerc: no really i think she's actually addicted to the tropical one

maxverstappen1: are you FUCKING KIDDING ME? IT WAS YOU WHO DRANK ALL OF THEM

yourusername: and what?

maxverstappen1: idk i'm still kinda scared of you

user30: the way charles deflected the questions about fred and sainz ? WE'RE FREEEEEEEEE

yourusername

liked by taylorswift, charles_leclerc and 1,311,723 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: i wanna be your end game <3

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user32: you guys better be end game or like you're paying for my therapy

user33: i respect her dedication to go to every race, make ferrari staff tremble in fear and pull LOOKS

charles_leclerc: i want to be your first string

yourusername: what if we just called taylor up?

charles_leclerc: you know here you call her i'm nervous

yourusername: @taylorswift paris night one, lover and this is me trying ft. charles on the piano?

taylorswift: sure thing

charles_leclerc: why was that so easy?

yourusername: better get practising baby

charles_leclerc: OH GOD

user34: how did we get red bull charles and a taylor collab in one year?

user35: i guess we used up charles' good luck from the last four years SORRY CHARLES

charles_leclerc: i guess you're forgiven...

maxverstappen1: so could you like tell me what you'd call me if i hypothetically fucked charles over... i'm not gonna but like i need to mentally prepare myself to hear it

yourusername: i have faith in you so i haven't thought that far ahead

maxverstappen1: can you please not be too mean i can't take it

charles_leclerc: you wanna come to therapy with me buddy?

maxverstappen1: i think i might

yourusername: when we entered the reputation era i did not think it would lead to taking max verstappen to therapy

maxverstappen1: and taylor swift?

yourusername: ... and taylor swift

user36: this is all very cute and all but can we have mean y/n back

user37: when will yall learn that reputation is a love album and y/n and charles are just loving each other freely

user38: but mean y/n did teach someone a lesson in not spreading false rumours cause them tabloids have been QUIET

f1tea

liked by user43, user44 and 7,233 others

f1tea: carlos sainz was caught liking these tweets about charles leclerc and y/n y/ln, what do you think?

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user45: put me in the ring with carlos i am being so serious

user46: okay for a while i was on the fence about y/n and how intense she was being but like seeing this shit and realising it was probably what was being said in the garage she needed to do more

user47: for real if someone said that about my boyfriend i'd be in prison

user48: so charles and y/n were under contract to not say a word out of line about ferrari or anything to do with ferrari and this guy is out here liking this

user49: call me a conspiracy theorist but this was his public account... he meant for people to find it and wants people to know this stuff

user50: this is why he DNFed in the first race KARMA

user51: maybe this is why he's always the one with relationship issues bro clearly has no loyalty

user52: charles has never said anything about him even now and y/n only said something in retaliation

user53: fuck peace and love y/n needs to give this man hell

user54: read him for filth

user55: bro needs to keep his twitter fingers to himself and focus on not being in the wall ❤️

charles_leclerc

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 2,311,885 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: this is why we can't have nice things, darling

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user56: this is the most response we'll ever get from charles i fear

user57: allow me to elaborate: this is why we can't have nice things by taylor swift is about 'forgiving' the people who wronged you but she literally says "and here's to you because forgiveness is a nice thing to do... i can't even say it with a straight face" so basically charles doesn't forgive carlos or fred. and it specifically shouts out her family and friends and lover for sticking with her which is what charles' family, friends and y/n have done

liked by charles_leclerc

user58: thank you for service

yourusername: i'm reading what they call you lately (it says you're a race winner and a title contender)

charles_leclerc: got a taste of the celebrations and can't get enough

maxverstappen1: KEEP IT PG THERE ARE CHILDREN HERE

charles_leclerc: you're older than me

yourusername: all we said were celebrations, if anything you have the dirty mind 🤨

maxverstappen1: i am usually in the room next to you, i hope this helps

charles_leclerc: our bad <3

maxverstappen1: you don't care do you?

yourusername: not really no. when we get to the same amount of wins as you maybe it'll wear off

maxverstappen1: not on my watch

user58: is this an entertaining title fight but without the bad blood?

user59: and nowhere near ferrari? bless

alexalbon: i hate that i understand all these references

yourusername: lily trained you well

lilymunhe: like a drill sergeant

yourusername: as you should

sebastianvettel: proud of you charlie, i'm glad you're not wasting your talent

charles_leclerc: i love you seb, i'm sorry it took so long

sebastianvettel: make sure you win here, we can be ferrari failures together

yourusername: *ferrari failed you

sebastianvettel: i knew there was a reason i liked you

fin.

note: SOZ. so like i am still working on requests but that radio message FUCKED ME UP. so this had to happen. glad my queen girls (max and charles) did well today, hope you enjoyed !!!

[gayuu-the-necromancer]

｡⋆｡˚🦋˚｡⋆｡

I guess, it happened 4 years ago. Before we joined the Crown.

On the night I drifted into London town, he was looking up at the moon as I was passing the bridge looking for a place to stay.

I looked at his vacant profile and thought he was going to fall straight into the river after he finished his cigarette.

So I asked...

Ellis: "Are you happy?"

Jude: "...What if I am?"

Ellis: "I will make your happiness....last forever."

Jude: "Hah? What the hell are you saying? Are you crazy?"

Jude: "..Make your happiness last forever. Yeah right----"

...........

Victor: "Working again, today? I know you said about this before, but I didn't realize you both were going to be this busy."

The Crown castle in the early morning, Victor comes to the dining room for breakfast.

The two had already finished their breakfast very early and were about to go out when they were called by Victor, who walks by them.

Ellis: "Sorry Victor. We'll be back in the evening and ask about our mission then."

Victor: "Sure sure, no problem! I'm just glad you both look healthy!"

Jude: "How annoying. You don't have to apologize all the time to this weirdo."

Victor: "Why are you so salty all the time, Jude? But then again, you're cute when you're salty too."

Jude: "Disgusting."

Ellis: "See you later."

They both left the castle, both showing different expressions.

Liam: "I'm impressed how you never get discouraged when they act like that to you everyday, Victor."

Victor: "Well, I'm the one who recruited them."

Liam: "I joined the Crown on the condition that I could keep my job but those two seem busier than me."

Liam: "Can they really make time for the Crown's missions?"

It's been a few days since Ellis and Jude joined the team and they haven't even completed their first mission.

William: "Well, it doesn't matter when you do your first mission."

Harrison: "....Hey, can we really trust them?"

William: "What do you mean?"

Harrison: " I mean he's a businessman, but I've heard some dubious rumors. I heard he's got a lot of enemies here and there."

Liam: "I heard that too. It's sometimes rumored amongst my fellow actors."

Liam: "Some aristocrat got swindled and had all his money squeezed out of him."

Harrison: "If only he was a crooked businessman, it would have been fine..."

Harrison: "If he's a spy, we can't sit idly by."

Victor: "You don't trust me too?"

Harrison: "You're a weirdo, but I know you're a good judge of character. It's just that..."

Victor: "!! William, did you see that!? Harry just complimented me!!!"

William: "Yes, I saw. But let him finish his sentence..."

Victor: "Right! Please continue!"

Harrison: "....you're a real pain in the ass."

Harrison: "I'm just saying that his background is too suspicious to warrant unquestioning confidence."

Harrison: "Wouldn't it be better not to let those two act independently too much?"

Victor: "Hmmm...well....I don't want to restrict their freedom too much."

William: "Why don't you find that yourself? See if they are trustworthy or not."

Victor: "Wow!!! ....that's a great idea!"

Liam: "Aha, looks like the start of something, right?"

Harrison: *sighs* ".....I have a bad feeling about this."

...............

Victor: "Are all my Curselings here? Okay, let's start Mission Impossible: Jude and Ellis."

Liam: "Yayyh!!" *clap clap clap*

Alphonse: "Another one of Lord Victor's bullshit project? Wow, I'm so excited."

Victor: "I want all of you to observe them and report back to me."

Victor: "The main goal for us, is to see 'are they fit to be the Crown members or not'."

Harrison: "Tch...I shouldn't have said anything. I'm busy as hell."

Elbert: ".....Are you busy?"

Alphonse: "You mean you proofreading? But if I recall correctly, there is not deadline and the first draft from the writer haven't been received yet."

Alphonse: "I don't think he said you had to wait all night to finish your work."

Liam: "Wouldn't it be nice if Harry is the leader?"

Liam: "The investigation will be done by all the members except for Harry."

Alphonse: "Sneaking missions? Sounds fun."

Elbert: "I don't mind too."

Roger: "Sounds good, right?"

Harrison: "....Hey when did that happen?"

William: "But now that we have come this far, why not?"

Harrison: ".....Okay."

Victor: "Then! The Mission Impossible: Jude and Ellis, have begun!"

[bil-daddy]

Mr bildad the shuhite, I need some advice. What do I do when that familiar overwhelming sadness washes over me? Ive been feeling horribly depressed lately, even though I have no real reason to be. I do talk to my friends abt this, but I dont want to talk abt my mental state ONLY and drive them away, so I refrain from talking abt it too much even tho it feels like it will drown me, because I am too afraid of seeming clingy.

Its been getting worse lately, and all I can do is distract myself from it. Ive been excessively sleeping just to not.. feel. I dont know what to do, nor do I know how to not feel this way

I made myself a nice breakfast, and it felt good. And then the feeling came back, like a drip drip drip from the leaking faucet of my mental health I cant control. I am scared. I am so scared

Sorry if this ask wasnt what u were expecting, or if u cant help me either, thats completely fine. I just needed to share somehow how scared I am. Of myself, what I feel I dont know

I dont know. I just dont know

Best wishes,

Anon❤️

*shows up one month late carrying six shots of espresso in a big cup to answer this ask*

It's taken me a while to respond to this because 1) I've been going through a bit of the same thing myself and 2) I haven't figured out a solution yet.

I do have some ideas, though.

You were on the right track, making yourself a nice breakfast. Little things like that make a bigger difference than you think. In fact, I think we should all try to live in the little moments as much as we can. Sometimes, when you're feeling depressed but can't point at a reason in your own life, it's because you're reacting to large scale problems that, while very real, are out of your control--and you know this, and so you feel depressed and scared because there's nothing you can do.

But there is something you can do.

Do at least one thing nice for yourself everyday as part, even if it's something really small. Especially something really small. Listen to your favourite song. Eat a piece of chocolate, just because. Play with a pet, if you have one.

And, if you're up to it, do at least one nice thing for someone else, too. Help your parents with the chores. Call a grandparent and brighten their day. Send a kind message to a friend.

Because you should keep on talking to your friends. The right friends will be honoured you've opened up to them. Listen to your friends, too. They might be going through things to, and being a comfort to them might in turn make you feel better, as well. Being part of a community, even if it's just a small group of friends--or even a group of two--can really help. Having you a sense of purpose, belonging, and importance is part of what makes people people.

Sleeping a lot isn't necessarily bad. Ive done that myself (for totally normal amounts of time, definitly not entire century or anything) Sometimes, your body and your mind just needs the rest. But if you feel like you're sleeping too much, then you probably need something exciting to be awake for.

It might be time to try out a new hobby, start a new TV show or book, take a class, or set a new goal that you can work towards a little bit every day. The mind craves new experiences and challenges. If everything's been the same for a while, depression can set in simply due to boredom.

However, there could just as easily be other causes, which are worth looking into with a therapist and a psychiatrist, if you want to try the medical route--and it is worth a try with persistent depression.

It sounds to me like you also have some anxiety about having depression, since it scares you (and rightfully so, it is scary) that you can feel it coming on and that you can't control it. For that, in addition to what I've already mentioned above, I'd suggest thinking about it differently. Instead of leaking faucet you're desperately trying to shut off, let yourself feel whatever emotions you're feeling*

(*safely and within reason--don't harm yourself or others)

Cry, scream, punch a pillow. Let it out.

Sometimes, the sadness we fear feeling ends up not being as bad as the fear of it. You might feel relieved, once you're no longer bottling everything up and sleeping/distracting yourself to avoid feeling sad. As cliche as a it is, the only way out is through.

Have an ox rib (platonic) for the journey. You can do it.

[soracities]

I need advice pls & i hope u can help me.I have important exams coming up for which I need to be working extremely hard and practice everyday,so that I able to score well in them to get into a good college but I feel frustrated and tired and then end up procastinating and using my phone and wasting sm time.Like before last week,I was doing so well and then then since last week,whenever I try to sit down and solve all these math problems basically,it feels very annoying idk if it makes sense.I mean I haven't even worked that hard or for long enough to have a burn out .I'm sorry that you have to listen to this random person on the internet rant also seeing your posts and reblogs do motivate me to read more and idk but u seem like a very intellectual person tbh.I aspire to be like u. I also want to read more and stay consistent and disciplined in doing so - being disciplined and consistent is a struggle for me TT

I think discipline and consistency is hard for anyone, especially because there's nothing easily romanticized about it--but at the end of the day, intimidating as it all feels discipline and consistency are also nothing more than a series of small, individual tasks, repeated one after the other. I think if you spend all your time looking at all the things you still need to do, all the lists you haven't checked and counting the achievements required to get there you will overwhelm yourself to the point of inaction (or procrastination). But they are all only a series of little tasks, in the end.

I don't know how much help this will be for you, but one of the best pieces of advice I ever got when I was younger was to never underestimate the impact of small term goals. It's so easy to get caught up with a mythical distant future with a daunting list of demands, but try asking yourself instead: what can I do today that will help me the most tomorrow? Not a week from now, not a year from now--tomorrow. So if, for example, you have 10 maths questions to do over the weekend, instead of worrying about the fact that you have 10 maths question looming over you over the weekend, break them down so that you are only looking at each individual task.

To do the first question for example you only have one task: Read the question. And now that I have read the question, I only have one task: write the sum down. Now that I have written the sum down, I only have one task: find the first requirement. Now that I have found the first requirement, I only have one task: work out that requirement.

And so on and so forth, for each step. And when you have finished the first question, that means you have one thing less to do for tomorrow (or even just for the next hour).

It's been a very, very long time since I had to sit down and study, especially for exams, so while I absolutely understand the pressure and sympathise with you so much, anon, I know there is a limit to how much insight I can give beyond this. All I know, all that has stayed with me, really, is the importance of allowing yourself to try as much as you can to focus on what you can do and what you have done instead of everything that you feel is still waiting for you. I don't know when your exams will be but it they are the most daunting to you right now, then break them up into their little tasks, and break those up into timelines for you to focus on--a week, two weeks etc., Sending you all my love and support and believe me, there is more than enough time for you to become the things you envision for yourself 💗

[aromanticgarbage]

If Joji decides to retire this year, do you think your obsession with him will end? Or would you still follow all his old stuff and that will keep you going?

He retired from social media already, youtube as well and he won't be coming back to any of that, let's be honest. All is left is his music, and I personally feel like he's over it. Not only the tiring/ repetitive touring, but the set path of the music industry where you don't just create stuff for fun but it's expected of you every few years> tour > rinse and repeat.

Just trying to have a convo, we like to hear your opinions :)

First of all, I don't think that he is going to retire any time soon? The man has been making music nonstop (comedic or not) since he was a preteen AND at this point in his life its his main source of income. He has talked in several interviews in 2018 and then again in 2020 about having philanthropic goals, wanting to help in the medical field and stuff but not having the funds for it yet (x). Assuming that he still has those goals and he hasnt suddenly gotten bored of music (a thing he has loved since he was a kid) i just cant see him suddenly retiring. There's a chance that maybe he wont keep up with his "new album every two years" pattern but i personally wouldn't be mad about that. I know that people love to complain about him not dropping music often enough but from my perspective, two years isn't a long time to wait for a new album. I listen to Fiona Apple too and she drops new music once every eight years. I listen to bands who broke up decades ago and bands whose main vocalists committed suicide before i was even born. Waiting doesn't mean anything to me. Also im so late to the party, i have a literal decade of his old and more recent content to get through (music, comedy, all of it).

Second of all, my obsession with him will fade away eventually either way !!! Ive been obsessed with many things (media, shows, musicals, music artists etcetera etcetera) over the years, i know how this works. Last year i was listening to the 2006 cast recording of company the musical starring Raúl Esparza everyday Non Stop. At some point i moved on to other things. Doesn't mean that i don't still smile whenever a song from this musical makes its way onto my spotify queue, or whenever a new photo of Raúl gets posted online. Unless something bad happens that sours the experience for me (most notable example: harry p*tter) i always think fondly of my past hyperfixations. Plus I genuinely love Joji's music. Im not in it just for his cute face !!! I will probably always have a soft spot for these songs even if (emphasis on if) he drops off the face of the earth and never releases anything ever again.

When it comes to his retirement from social media (permanent or temporary) all i honestly have to say about it is this: GOOD for him. Instagram is hell. Twitter is a fucking cesspool that has given me a headache every single one of the five (5) times ive dared to try and use it. If you use twitter routinely, my trust on your character automatically lessens, sorry. And since i only ever unfollow artists on insta for uploading TOO often I don't really have an issue with his inactivity. I wasn't a fan of his when he was still active on his socials, I don't have the experience necessary to miss this. I'm enjoying his old posts and that's good enough for me.

When it comes to youtube, he is definitely never going back to filthy frank that one is a fact and people who act like he would even want to are delusional. Sorry. Nonetheless, Plummcorp is a thing that has been going on for a while now, and even tho personally i haven't really gotten into it, Joji's involvement in it is undeniable. We will probably never know how involved in it he actually is and he will most definitely never show his face on that channel. Still, he is back on youtube in a way and thats also a fact. Even if he's keeping things lowkey (as is his right).

And to go back to the music !!! The tours he is probably really tired of, that one i feel like it's true. A lot of artists probably are, travelling around for months on end can't be easy. I remember Mitski being particularly open about how shitty they made her feel. There was also this old interview where he explicitly said that he is not cut out for the tour life, ("i like to sleep and i like to be alone a lot" x ). That was very early in his career (2017). And taking the fact that he had to cancel some of his shows last year for medical reasons, its important to take into account the fact that his health problems don't make any of this easier for him. I have no way of knowing what his opinion is on the music industry but hes been working on music for years now (even before he really started his solo career) and it was his literal childhood dream to work in this industry. He probably knew how it works before he got into it fulltime.

Tldr: joji can do whatever he wants forever. Im okay either way.

Anyway those have been my two cents !!! Thank you for your questions, they were very interesting.

[shadowqueen402]

A "Perfect" Ending

(This fic is based off of @kayssweetdreams's A "Perfect" Vacation fic. This is basically a Bad Ending! AU fic. But don't assume all hope is lost. Someone will make a guest appearance in the end 😉. I hope you like this!)

Prim smirked in pride and victory, watching the people living their everyday perfect lives. The city, that had once been Timeville, was now called Perfectville. And everyone was behaving…perfectly. Prim had finally gotten what she worked so hard to get.

Especially a certain man that she longed for since 1995. That man was none other than Roy Montgomery, Aria's father.

See, after Prim accomplished her goal of making everyone perfect, she had her guards imprison Esme, Aria's mother. Then, she "persuaded" Roy to be her lover while she took Aria under her wing. Otherwise, he'd never see Esme again.

Now, Prim was living her ideal perfect life; with Roy by her side and her five perfect "daughters". Aria, who had been brainwashed into being perfect, was soon labelled as "The Most Perfect Girl In All Of Perfectville" and was seen as a goddess.

As much as she wanted to gaze at her accomplishments, there was an…important matter that she wanted to discuss with Roy, her "husband".

She made her way to her office where she spotted Roy, staring out the window with a glum and tormented look on his face. He had been doing this since Prim took over Timeville. With an sickeningly sweet smile, Prim placed a hand on Roy's shoulder.

"Gah!" Roy yelped, jumping a bit.

"Oh, I'm sorry, darling. Did I scare you?" Prim let out a giggle.

"…I…I…didn't hear you come in…" Roy confessed.

"After all this time, you still can't tell when I'm standing behind you?" Prim made a fake frown of amusement. "I thought you would have been able to tell by now, darling…"

"To be fair, you do make a habit of…being unpredictable…" Roy pointed out.

"…So what were you doing in my office this time, darling?" Prim asked before her gaze landed on a pile of tapes that were scattered on the floor. Ones that she remembered fondly recording back in 1995. "Oh! Are those our old tapes? The ones we made back in the nineties?" She giggled. "Did you get a bit nolstalgic for the good old days?"

"…Well… I suppose you could say that…" Roy shrugged.

"You know, I had a nolstalgic moment today, darling." Prim's smile held some disdain into it. "I saw someone who I haven't seen in two decades! …And by that, I mean this is the first time he's seen ME in two decades."

Roy snapped his head to face Prim, his so-called "wife". A look of shock and suspicion flashed in his eyes. "Who are you talking about!?"

Prim's smile remained. "Oh my! Are you jealous, darling? Are you worried that someone improper is going to try and steal me, your perfect wife, away from you?"

"That's…actually the last thing I worry about." Roy frowned.

"Oh, darling!" Prim gushed like a lovesick schoolgirl. "That is ever so romantic! See, I knew you were perfect for me!"

"Right…" Roy averted his gaze. "So who did you see today?"

"I'll tell you all about it on the way to the airport, darling!" Prim responded with a beam.

Roy widened his eyes in shock. "Wait—airport!?"

"That's right, darling," Prim said. "Start packing your bags immediately! We're going to Japan!"

"We can't do that!" Roy protested. "What about our jobs!?"

"Don't worry, darling." Prim didn't seem bothered by Roy's reaction. "I've already called our bosses and informed them that we just needed to take a little trip. They were VERY understanding!"

"How long will we be gone for?" Roy asked.

"I'm not entirely sure, darling," Prim answered. "It will all depend on how fast I track him down…"

"What about…our daughters?" Roy mentioned. "Tomorrow is Yuri's, Dolly's, Misère's, and Kaylo's first day of school! And tomorrow is Aria's first day of college!" He still was not used to calling the first four mentioned girls "his daughters". Especially since, in reality, they weren't his. Only Aria was.

"If our daughters are anything like their perfect mother, they'll have absolutely no problems whatsoever taking care of themselves!" Prim insisted. "Oh, I hope our perfect Aria meets someone that is special, proper, and perfect! It would be so nice if she's gotten a proper boyfriend by the time we get back!"

"…I hope not…" Roy muttered truthfully, shuddering.

"What was that, darling?" Prim asked, glancing at her "husband".

"N-Nothing, sweetums…" Roy mentally cringed at the nickname he forced himself to give Prim.

"Enough dawdling, darling!" Prim waved his reply off like it was nothing. "We have to get going now! We don't want to miss our flight to Tokyo!"

"Uh, shouldn't I pick up the tapes?" Roy looked at the tapes that were still scattered on the floor. "They're scattered everywhere!"

"Don't bother, darling!" Prim was smiling like an excited person.

"What if…our daughters find them?" Roy had an uneasy look on his face.

Prim's smile widened as she pulled out two suitcases; one belonging to her and the other belonging to Roy. "You know, there's a part of me that hopes they will."

Floating outside of Prim's mansion, a humanoid being that bore a red striped jester hat scowled at the sight of Prim's and Roy's retreating forms. He recalled how confused he had gotten when he noticed that Timeville was changed into "Perfectville" and how graceful and proper everyone behaved around him upon arriving to the Waking World.

That was enough to give him a sensation that something was very, very wrong.

His theory was proven when he saw how Aria behaved. She was no longer the same person that she used to be. Rather, a shell of her former self. Her smile was eery and too nice. Instead of her usual outfit, she now wore a light blue blazer over a white shirt with a black ribbon, a light blue, mini pencil skirt, white thigh-lengthed socks, and black loafers. He wanted to talk to her and ask if she was okay. But something told him that that was out of the question.

Instead, being the clever Nightmaren he was, he hid in the shadows and kept a close eye on Prim. When he saw the platinum-blonde haired woman who proudly called Aria "her perfect daughter", he glared at her in suspicion. She obviously did something to his girl and he was going to find out. One way or another.

After some silent spying, he finally got the answers he was looking for. He now knew what Prim did to Aria and those other four girls. He now knew where Esme, Aria's true mother and Roy's true wife, was being kept. And most importantly, after eavesdropping on her conversation, he now knew where Prim was dragging Roy to.

And he was NOT happy in the slightest bit.

Messing with him was one thing, but anyone who dared messed with his Aria practically had a death wish. Rage gleamed in his icy blue eyes as he clenched his fists.

Prim was going to PAY!!

He would show her absolutely NO mercy!!!

Trying his hardest to remain calm, he turned to face a Goodle who was flying a bright green bird-like Nightmaren.

"Return back to Nightmare," He ordered the Goodle. "Tell Master Wizeman that I will return a little later. There is a…personal matter that I must take care of."

"Yes, Lord Reala," The Goodle replied, flying away to head back to the Night Dimension.

Madame Prim, Kaylo, Misère, and Dolly belong to @kayssweetdreams

Aria, Esme, and Roy belong to me.

[azrielgreen]

I'm sure you've already talked about this some. But how in the world do you manage to sit and bust out SO MUCH WRITING!?

Deciding to do the Big Bang has made me pull away from all my other WIPS so I can focus on the one for the BB and I feel like I'm struggling to keep on schedule for that one as well.

Hi, I'm sorry i haven't answered till now! I've been really dragging my feet this last month with writing so I haven't felt worthy to actually answer this question at all, but I'm back into the swing now, so!

Firstly, congrats on doing Big Bang!! That's amazing, super excited for you and everyone else!

For me, I've been able to train myself into writing large quantities per day and i started with aiming for 3k every day and working up from there. I treat my writing process with love and obsession and pure indulgence and I carve out time wherever I can for it.

Things that help, for me, are:

♥︎ Writing every day

♥︎ hyping myself beyond belief

♥︎ finding a good rhythm where I can comfortably work every day.

With previous fics, especially YD, I was writing 5-8k a day which I DO NOT advise as writing that story was a spectacular journey which I will talk more about but at times I made myself very ill pushing too hard and never allowing myself to slip on deadlines. I feel like where I am now is healthier and more forgiving but I'm equally aware that it's LESS than what I was writing for YD and that bothers me, so balance is - in my opinion- essential.

I must also say that while i am a fast writer (16k in 24 hours remains my record) I make a TON of technical mistakes so editing takes a while too, at least 6-8 hours.

If I ever have advice for people wanting to increase their output, its to start writing everyday (even if it's only small) and work towards a 2-3k daily goal. Your brain will realise you CAN and then when your passion is ignited it will WANT to.

But everyone's process is unique and valid, this is just mine.

Hope any of this helps💜💜💕

Az.

💜💜💜

[valiantwombatpanda]

Things I've recently noticed in my attempted glow up Era. List is kinda long... sorry!

1. I took a photo of my body a year ago and compared it to a photo taken yesterday.. I was 4 pounds lighter in the first picture but the muscles and how toned my stomach looks now??? Crazzyyy what a little toning can do. I look so much better.

2. I took some spicy pictures, and my arms are twigs.

3. I want to be SKINNYYY but I also want a butt. I hate hate hate exercise so I'm going to have to suck it up cuz at this point, I need muscle there since I clearly don't have the fat.

4. I cleaned out my closet for the first time since High school and I realized being 23 and living in NY, it's time to up my fashion from Baggy jeans and oversized sweaters to maybe something a bit classier. I'm going for elegant but still has fun. Being so close to my goal weight, I'm confident in shopping a size down knowing it will fit me and it's time to wear clothes flattering to my body shape.

5. Motivation and discipline are not the same thing and in my opinion, discipline is more important than Motivation. You can be motivated all you want... but do you have the discipline to achieve it?

6. Water. Water. Water!!!! Fat cells don't go away. So as an example, my starting weight was 108 and I am now 90. All the fat cells I have from being 108 are still there but "deflated." That's why it's so easy to gain weight and so hard to lose. Water weight is temporary and will go away. It's just those cells "swelling" up. One day you'll wake up 2 pounds lighter and it's because those fat cells that were replaced with water finally let it all go.

7. Nobody can tell if you've lost or gained 5 pounds.

8. I struggled with cystic acne my entire teen life and even into my early 20s. I was probably the queen of pimple creams. You want to try a new product? I've already tried it and here's my experience. I went to countless dermatologists and was even given medicated treatments and antibiotics. They made my acne WORSE. I learned, at least for me, that SIMPLE products work best. I use an organic goat milk soap bar, vitamin c moisturizer, and literally a misting of sunscreen on my face and haven't had a zit bigger than a pinprick in over a year and they've all been cycle related. Also, removing the peach fuzz from your face helps with oil and dirt

9. If you're like me and enjoy BOILING showers, please do not wash your hair or face in hot water. Washing your face should be the first and last step when showering. Allow the steam to open your pores and then switch the water to Luke warm to wash, cold to rinse... same with your hair! Cold water onllyyy and do not dry with a towel. A simple cotton shirt is so much better for it.

10. Whitening your teeth doesn't have to cost much at all. Crest 3D Whitening strips do the job very well or you can take a banana peel as it's turning from green to yellow and rub the inside of the peel on your teeth. Worked wonders for me when I couldn't afford Whitening strips.

11. 3 basics I do everyday to be put together. If someone were to knock on my door, I should feel comfortable enough in my appearance to open it. Always have your hair done in some kind of way (pony, half up, claw clipped, even a messy bun), always have on clean clothes (yes pj's are fine but remember if someone knocked, are your pj's matching? Flattering? Or do you look messy and lazy?) Always have your teeth brushed and face put together.

12. Get off your phone. Get offfff yourrrr phone!!! I see so many people in public with their heads down watching their phone, or at a table and they have their phone out, or walking with a group of friends and they all have phones. Phones can enhance an experience (a museum offering a guided tour) and that's fine! But I hate the amount of full grown adults walking down the street glued to a phone. I give teens a break, but adults?? Please step away from the glowing rectangle in your hand for an HOUR while we are at dinner. The biggest glow up is to be present. Put your phone down at the table and notice the people around you, put your phone down while walking down the street and observe the world. To me, the most attractive people I see aren't on their phones.. they are experiencing.

13. Fruits and vegetables not only look like an aesthetic on a plate, but you look like an aesthetic eating them. You get so many nutrients out of them and you get a full stomach much quicker for wayyyyy less calories. Some fruits and veggies even burn calories to digest.

14. There is nothing wrong with noticing flaws on your body and NOT embracing them. I've lived in Hawaii all my life and always wore shorts because my bikini line would break out the DAY I would shave. Well laser hair takes too long, waxing sounds AWFUL, so I got a tattoo in that area. I still get red angry bumps from time to time (olive oil, exfoliating, and a NEW Razor each time has helped) But now my tattoo takes away from those bumps and they aren't noticeable. I feel confident in bikinis because I modified the area that was bothering me.

15. Trends are great, but learn to accept that some trends just aren't meant for you. A glow up is being true to yourself and what you feel confident in. It's about knowing that the magical product that works for them may not work for you, it's knowing your body type, type of skin you have, colors that enhance or take away from you, and fashion comes and goes but style does not.

16. If you have a period, I am begging you to track your moods, your symptoms, your cycle phases. You'll not only feel so in touch with the rapid changes our bodies go through, but you'll be able to predict your body's cycle. I know for a fact next week I need to spend extra care with my skin, I'll be bloated so I should avoid foods that contribute and not worry too much about any "gain", and my hair will get greasy easily so I should switch my hair routine up a little bit. Knowing your cycle phases and the hormones that relate will do wonders in keeping your mental and physical health in check.

17. This kinda goes with 12, but be friendly. Smile at the cashier and ask them how they are, say please and thank you to everyone, hold the door open for the family of 4 with a stroller, listen to your friends and find a way to loop back to the friend whose story got unintentionally interrupted by someone else. Make the people you care about feel like they have your attention. Dont make comments to put people down (i was so bad at this. I would say, "god. She's 40 and dressing like that?" Now i catch myself and i say "i want her confidence. Look how shes rocking the zebra print boots!") don't match a rude person's energy.. all it does is fuel an already "unhealthy" situation. Take the rudeness with grace. Be present, be kind, be open and you'll attract people like a magnet.

18. Old lady perfume only smells like an old lady because you are over spraying. A dab on both wrists, a dab on the naval, a dab on the ankles and MAYBE some behind your ear. It's supposed to smell light and flowery not like you've raided your grandma's closet. Save the big all over body sprays for perfumes from bath and body works.

[zhuhongs]

what is your favorite word/phrase in chinese? im sorry if you've been asked this already

No need to apologize, I haven't been asked before, unless i missed that ask somewhere but hmmmm. I don't know. if I had to decide right now probably 開開心心地 (verb) which is like to happily do something. I say that to myself a lot nowadays bc my goal right now is to do everything in a way to move towards my own joy. Even things I don't want to do, things that are hard, I want to do them as happily as possible. Even though I know happiness is not feasible as a constant state, I want to give it myall to do what I can everyday to make myself happy.

[sinagwrites]

days of the past future

Dear future self,

How are you? If you're reading this, I hope you're still alive. I'm not okay and I haven't slept for 2 days straight. Jade's sleeping pills aren't helping me at all. I have tons of reviewers with me right now. I still don't have friends, I still have my curfew (lola's been so disappointed at me for coming home 5 minutes late from my curfew), I still have grades to maintain, and a mom to thank. Screw the traffic in Mendiola, she thinks I'm lying and cut my classes because of that 1D event that I told her about. Mom told me not to mind it over Skype, but you know her, she's disappointed too. I kind'a wish I went there instead if I knew she'd react this way. I'm barely hanging by a thread, trying my best to survive and there are days when I can't seem to compose myself.

I hope you're now waking up to the sound of the dogs barking in your vet clinic... video-calling Josh about how Manila is compared to Denmark. I hope your car enjoys the traffic of Manila knowing that lola's waiting for you at home.

I'll do my best to give that life to you, I promise. I hope you're smiling while you're reading this and telling yourself that you're finally okay. I wrote this email as a reminder that I need to strive harder so I won't fail you... so you can live.

Dear old self,

I'm sorry it took a while for me to compose the perfect words to reply. I was stuck between the lines, wondering if you would be condescending or patronizing me but I found my ink to write back.

I know you believe that it's not a good habit to look back in the past so you tried to dig for goals of where I will be in the future. I am sorry to disappoint you but things didn't go as you planned.

I haven't slept in two days because I had tons of work to do. I work 8 hours a day at home and does podcasts at night hoping I could help people like you. I know how much you loved to write and most days, if not everyday, I still do.

One direction went on hiatus a few months after you wrote that email. You cried a bucket of tears but no worries, you're okay after.

At 18, you decided to be independent and move out of the house instead of going to Europe. You didn't graduate and granny was disappointed... but no worries, you worked your way up and proved them wrong. They trust your decisions now and mom's proud of who you became.

You don't own a coffee shop... but you met a friend who brews coffee for you and she's great. Yes, you're right. You finally learned the art of making friends.

You didn't become a vet but you have dogs now. They feel so warm, love to cuddle, and the other one's turning two next month.

You didn't end up with Josh. He's still in Italy, finishing his studies with Ash, and I wanna pat you a good job for letting him go. He's happy now.

You fell in love a lot of times and got hurt, mentally, physically, emotionally but learned. You're currently dating a man filled with tattoos. I know, I know, you hate men with tattoos... but trust me, he's okay.

It all made sense to me now. I can vividly remember you writing that letter with the intention of looking back at it one day and so I can tell you that you made it... and guess what? You did. You survived... and somehow deep inside, I know that's all you ever wanted.

PS: I hope you can hug lolo before leaving the hospital for work at September 2022.

I know it may not change things, but I still hope you do.

I guess the only thing that has not changed is the fact the I still hate spoilers and I hope you don't hate me.

[deaddovedarlin]

What in your life fucked you up so bad that you had to become a pedorapist and a proshitter? You're fucked up and need God! Kill yourself for the sake of your minor boyfriend and those you abuse, you fucking pedophile!

Seriously, kys. I can't believe you's ruin gf with your disgusting fetishism! You are not traumatized by SA obvly bc you are fetishising actual survivors. You make me sick and I'm sure your mom's proud of you!

Filth. Take a rope and a blade.

This is going to be long because I have much to say

To start this off: I would typically delete this and move on with my life, but this reeks of childish-ness and a lack of clear point. Also, it gives me a reason to educate. I can't tell if you're a troll looking to illicit a reaction, if you're trying to invalidate my experiences and trauma, or you just hate me because of my shipcourse stance. Either way, you're getting a reaction. So, congrats if that was your goal!

Also, the anonymity of the anonymous feature on Tumblr is a bit misleading. Yes, you are anonymous and that hides your blog from public veiw, but due to the circumstances of having to be logged in to send an anon: you're trackable! What I'm saying is: be careful sending things like this- especially to online strangers. It doesn't bother me, but it may wound the ego of someone else that knows how to find your blog.

Now to give you your reaction!

Probably trauma. Scratch that, definitely trauma. I'm not a "pedorapist," and whatever gave the impression that I am- whether it be the proship thing or paraphile thing- is wrong. I have never heard that term either because as far as I'm aware every pedo who's had sex with a minor is a rapist, as well. There is, of course, areas in that regard that can be loop-holed. Nonetheless, I just don't hate people for having thoughts like me.

I'm fucked up because of God, more specifically the religion "Catholicism." It was Catholicism that lead to me not reporting my abuse for fear of ostracization, being labeled impure, "not forgiving those who wronged me," and not being godly like Mother Mary.

My boyfriend is not a minor and I haven't abused any animal or people? Again, not a pedophile... I'm assuming the minor part comes from his enjoyment of cutesy things.

Gravity falls (I'm assuming that means) is a massive franchise with fans of all flavours. It's not fetishism either, I have never once sexualized, irrationally been devoted to, or worshipped any GFs character. I'm a casual enjoyer of Mabill because I like to explore the dynamic and power imbalance of the relationship.

I am traumatized and I have never fetishied the survivors of SA. There has never been an instance of me thinking that survivors are sexual gratifying? ("fetishism," though, would probably right in this context because I do have an irrational devotion to it because of my trauma, but that's not aimed at other survivors)

I'm sorry I make you sick, genuinely, but there is a block feature to curate your online experiences. Also, my mother is very proud of me! She deals with my weirdness everyday and looks at my art to tell me it's very good despite the subject matter. I love her.

Not to get in detail, but I've already tried that. As my very best friend says: I've committed to the blade already.

Overall, this experience was a 5/10. Not very creative, but they did use the public info I've said about myself against me. That's bonus points.

[sadbrainday]

I'm sorry. I'm unraveling and I don't know why. We have reason to celebrate but I can manage to do is numb myself. I'm sorry that all of my worst traits are showing. All the things you dislike about me are showing. The red flags I'm waving are likely concerning. I want to tell you everything is ok. That I'll be fine tomorrow and I'll make up for everything but I can't. I don't know how tomorrow is going to go. I'm unsure how the remainder of the night is going to go. I feel like all I've done is fail you lately. You think I don't notice you walking on egg shells around me. Putting your hands up, palms forward, as if to say "it's ok" while also defending your self from an unwarranted lash out.

The most frequently asked question now a days is "are you ok". Not just from you but everyone. My programmed answer is "yeah, im good". I'm lying to you at least 3 times a day. You know something is off. We both know. But we both don't know what. I can't find the joy is making things anymore. Making stuff for our new home, our kids, myself. The motivation to start the project just isn't there. Because of it not being there I start picking myself apart. I know exactly what I need to do to achieve my goals. By not doing them, I often bad mouth myself and tare myself down before I've even started. I used to get high to make my mind shut down but it almost makes it worse now. I get so paranoid that I start to panic and over think my self and it leads to more self degradation and depression. More then starting projects, I feel so bad about you. I know im not myself and I haven't been as lovey lately. I haven't don't alot that I usually do. These last few months have torn me down and I just don't have the care to get back up. I just want to drink myself numb. So incredibly numb. If I can't think... im happy. Rather I'm content. Not thinking of my Continuous fuck ups and short comings.

I hope you still love me. I don't deserve it and if you left, I would understand. You deserve so much better. I owe you the world. It doesn't matter if you stay or go, I owe you my everything. I'm always going to love you. I don't want to always fail you. Sure I've had good intentions and good moments but I fear the bad is out weighing the good. Im worried that you are beginning to despise the man you see everyday. I fear its becoming a chore to be with me.

I dont know what to do next. I'm going to pour me a drink. I love you so much. I hope you stay... It's all that holds me together at this point.

[girirajattawar]

JUST ONCE....!

When I read this poem for the first time I was in the 8th class, aged 12 or 13 maybe....I had this poem by W.H. Davies called "Leisure" included in our English's syllabus...as a kid I simply rote learned the poem and critically appreciated it in the test and scored well....I was happy but I was just a "kid" and I didn't realise how deep this poem is. Obviously my English professor was also at fault but...no worries... i spare her...because I know the fact that since the last one hundred years the only thing that has remained unchanged is THE EDUCATION SYSTEM....just saying. 🙂 So, two years hence, when I was in the 10th year, somehow I got to read this poem again...I don't know if I was mentally more matured than what and how I was in the 8th class but this time I understood the depth...oh Maybe I wasn't more matured....I just had more vocabulary...cuz me and maturity still haven't met 😑...leave it. So, this time I understood what Mr. Davies actually wants us to grab from this poem...the actual meaning...in the 8th class, even after rote learning the poem the message didn't sink in my mind....but this time it did...this is what is the difference between understanding and blindly learning...Anyway...since then...like since the time I read this poem for the second time after 2 years, it's just been with me !

Friends....really..just have a look at it and you will understand how true it is....I remember of asking myself a question when I understood the poem...it was....Giriraj, when was your mind totally empty and relaxed the last time ? And I didn't get an answer because even if I do nothing, I keep on thinking about something...something that bothers me...till today never did I ever enjoy my own company...I always want someone to accompany me so that we keep on chatting...I never sat with a thoughtless, calm and relaxed mind beneath the sky, listening to my favorite music pieces, enjoying the beauty around me, just looking around and enjoying my own company...ah...what a feeling it is...I have never been in a state where I ain't sleeping but I am not even fully awake..believe me it's the best state a person can be in ! Completely relaxed but not sleeping...

We always think about our physical appearance..overall our body but do we ever think about our soul ? some of you surely do but most including me don't..... Sometimes we should do things according to our hearts...just tell our professional minds to shut up and let the heart speak up !

Just once...just once in my life I want to forget all my duties, all my responsibilities, all my worries...I want to forget about my goals and just relax..just once ! I just want to know that this life, once gone is gone forever !

This poem taught me that yeah...it's not possible to be totally careless everyday in this world but be like that at least once !

The last last line literally is a slap on my face...howsoever rich you are...you are a poor person if you can't give yourself a day without any worry, any responsibility and any restriction !

Indeed this poem rules my mind and everytime I am stressed or worried I read this poem and it acts as heaven !

I will soon be better at this..I promise......tell me my mistakes...I m just trying to open up and share my thoughts..if I have gone wrong somewhere or said something wrong..i am really sorry 🙏

Thank you !!

Byeeee❤

[tardis--dreams]

Oh i see it now, getting (back) into a regular exercise habit is hard

[madfantasy]

Dear blogging

I haven't for the longest time been okay I lost track tbh.. and talking was not an option in the middle of the seemless cycle of trance, despair or emptiness, but honestly, what is there to add, i tried to just draw, post and not bother anyone ...

There were glimpses of hope, lit here and there, and before one could properly prosper they fizzle, leaving only the vauge trale of their existence. Faint smell of sweet that stings..

Guardians showed promising changes, yet easily fell back to the stabbings that bleeds my sanity dry. Events edging to happen, but they seep into the forgetfulness of an average working person, and the never ending suspense for an isolated person like Mani, who have nothing better to do than agonisingly feel every second passing.

Things seemed to never matter, even the things i try to pour my heart out on, in art form. Riding the waves, simply drawing with no purpose, opposing my crave of having higher goals, to a point I didn't think I can raise myself from, as if it was too late. Nullified, everyday it's a pretend or don't leave the bed today, day. I couldn't make myself want anything

Even when I heard my guardians saying they found a buyer for our home, for the tenth time, i was not moved the first time and certainly not now. My guardian came back with an envelope of the house sale costs and the contract signed, our home literally HAS been sold, the place i thought no one will ever buy, we would never could leave, got my guardians into many spiraling holes of debts trying to renovating it and failing.

Everything happened so fast after.

We went to see the new house, the same house my guardians swooned over, that I had a dream about, a room decorated in blue, and it happened to be there, and now they rented it.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZSe3P5Tso/

And all to up to that point I was just thinking that how are we to continually pay the rent of this house. But then my guardian said to me this will be your room, and it was a room with a black wall, and not only one, but two windows.. a window. Something never before I had in life. I was all smiles when we returned. Ruined by my guardians starting a fight again and it reached a critical moment that I was actually debating the darkest things.

I wasn't too phased about the whole thing because this is the same life as ever I knew, we moved to many homes out of necessity, and only see the outside world through those journies from home to home. It's like I had a reawakening filled with weeping. Hated how I memorised every detail of the houses walls, only to forget it the second we leave to another, again to start unnaturally knowing the deeper intricacy of a building, from how long I blankly stared at..

In the middle of all that, a little voice in my head was wondering if i could buy red curtains to the windows and wake up to a warm room of heart fluttering red, now the sun can reach me. It continued, wondering if can have many red things posed against the black wall to stimulate my overwhelming desire to have everything in my life red and black. It said now I can practice talking loudly, I have more room to move, i can dance on an even floor and not have my feet soles needle pains from the uneven floor I had the displeasure of standing on, now they left us their cabinet, I can use it for my clothes like a real room, I can get a starry nightlight and decorate my room with my posters.. it's all I can think about now.. and I have already made a wishlist of furniture, idk if I can get it or will they ship them to me, but the process made me happy

I told my guardians the car drive made me feel alive, something I wouldn't disclose normally with em, surprisingly they were like, that's good when we settle we can drive around more..

I'm in the middle of packing, still. I'm super tired and yeah

I wish you all the well of this world, be safe, I'm sorry for your hurts, I'm happy for your joy, I wish I can do more, I wish I can be less than this.. please take care, love u lots