#song is I can't handle change by roar | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

syluscore · 1 year ago

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Every Version of You (4)

A reverse harem with three variants of Leon Kennedy and feminine reader.

~ Masterlist ~ Previous Part ~ Message me if you'd like to take over this story and continue it, I will not be continuing it, my apologies~

(i struggled a lot with this part and putting it off because it's filler. it's the event that needed to happen to get from point a to point b. but i've done it so now updates should come quicker!)

WORD COUNT: 2k

SONGS: I Can't Handle Change - Roar and I Bet on Losing Dogs - Mitski

CONTENT WARNINGS FOR PART FOUR: dejecting from one's self, anxiety, crying, some comfort, thoughts of giving up, arguing, let me know if there's something else that needs to be tagged

TAGLIST: @growingupnrealizing , @weneewinnie , @delulusimps , @yoonbabe-d , @missjoenowhere , @cassiecasluciluce , @greywardensaywhat , @kennedyswhore , @british-mint-bunny , @all-mights-babygirl , @weasleytwinscumslut , @pinkrose1422 , @ir3nic-sluvv , @blue4pple , @izuoyarmin , @cosmcqt

!!!!!!!!!!MINORS DNI! GHOSTKENNEDY IS STRICTLY 18+!!!!!!!!!!

PART "CHAPTER" FOUR

You stand, frozen in place, right in front of the giant tube that’s supposed to contain Leon. Every noise in the room sounds far away. You’re not even sure you’re really standing here right now with how unreal you feel. How disconnected you feel from yourself.

Numb. You feel numb.

Is any of this real? How can it be real? You know it’s stupid to question yourself like this. You always laughed off people who would ask dumb questions like, “Is this a dream?” Of course it’s not a dream! But now you’re questioning if this is a fucking dream. You don’t know, maybe you never knew.

You can tell the men are trying to talk to you, but you can’t seem to force yourself out of your own head. Can’t make yourself care enough to socialize with any of them. You wanna stay inside your mind’s fuzziness. It wraps you like a blanket and it’s the only solace you can seem to find.

You’ve been able to push your feelings down–to just push yourself through the motions, but it seems to be hitting you all at once now. And you’re not sure why, but you’re dreading facing Leon. And there’s no specific reason for your anxiety, maybe it’s just everything coming to the surface in the face of a conversation you don’t know how to have.

Maybe you’re dreading his reaction.

“Hey!” you hear someone yell to get your attention as they nudge your shoulder, which finally snaps you out of your almost hypnotic state.

Your head snaps in their direction, “Hmm? What?”

Your eyes meet older Leon’s. “Are you ready?” It’s a stupid fucking question. You and him both know it, but for some reason, you still find yourself having a hard time responding. You open your mouth several times to reply, but no sound manages to make it past your lips.

“Are you okay?” he lowers his voice to nearly a whisper.

You’re not sure why that does something to your brain–why you’re biting your lip as tears slip down your cheeks again. Why did the dam break right now? Before you can even force the tears back down, force yourself to keep it together, he’s wrapping his arms around you.

You’re limp in his grasp. Wide eyed and arms hanging at your sides. You’re stiff in his arms, unable to properly react. His chin is resting on top of your head as he presses your cheek into his chest.

You wish he’d just stop. Pull himself away from you. Read your body language and take the hint. But he doesn’t. He only clings to you tighter.

And you don’t know why, fuck, you don’t know why anything anymore, but you soften in his arms. You allow yourself to accept his embrace. And for some reason, it makes you feel somewhat calmer. As if you can finally breathe in his arms.

“It’s gonna be okay, yeah? Just breathe. You’re fine, everything is fine. I’ve got you.”

And you believe him completely. You pull your head away from his chest and look back into his eyes.

You close your eyes, taking in a deep breath, holding it, then opening your eyes as you release it.

“That’s it. Feeling better?” He tucks your hair behind your ear and you can’t speak. You force yourself to nod. Just nodding feels like it takes all of your energy.

You’re exhausted, utterly and undoubtedly exhausted. You could pass out while standing up if you allowed yourself to. But you know you can’t. You know you must swallow down all of the negative feelings because there’s much more pressing matters at hand. You are not what’s important right now.

“I’m okay,” you assure Leon softly. “Let’s do this.”

“You’re sure?” He cocks an eyebrow in obvious disbelief.

You nod your head weakly. “Like ripping a band-aid off, right?” He rubs your shoulders, but doesn’t attempt to move on. “I’m sure, Leon, please.”

He finally releases you, but not before offering up his hand. It confuses you at first, but you eventually relent and intertwine your fingers with his. You’ll take any link to ground you that you can. You’re still not fully convinced that you won’t just fade into nothingness, maybe you’d even welcome it and allow it to consume you.

It’d be so easy to let yourself go as well, but you’re not hanging on for yourself. You’re hanging on for Leon and maybe that’s enough for you. Well, it has to be enough for you, it’s all you have to cling to.

“Okay, here we go,” Luis mumbles as he pulls the lever and the blinding light is back and somehow stronger this time.

Before you can even reach up to cover your own eyes, someone else’s hand is covering them. Your free hand shoots up to cover the hand over your eyes. It’s obvious who it is, so you run your hand up his arm and cover his eyes with your hand. It’s not the most comfortable position, but you’re fucking greatful for it.

The light is gone and you both drop your hands, looking ahead as Leon’s drenched body is pulled from the liquid by Chris. Chris pulls Leon’s body down the ladder with the help of Luis and they lay him on the ground.

“Leon? Leon, can you hear me?” Chris speaks as Leon’s eyes flutter open and closed as he slowly wakes up.

Leon’s eyes finally stay open and he stares up at Chris with a blank expression on his face. He slowly blinks as confusion creeps up his face.

He suddenly sits up and pushes himself to his feet, stumbling backwards away from Chris and Luis. His wet clothes cling to his body, throwing off his balance as he braces himself against the wall.

“Leon. Calm down,” Luis tries to level with him.

He shakes his head, “Who the fuck are you?”

“Just here to help-”

“Help with what, asshole?”

Older Leon speaks up, “Well, if you’d let him explain and stop interrupting-”

“And who the fuck are you?” Leon spits out as his eyes dart to older Leon’s. He looks down at your laced fingers and then his eyes meet yours. “What’s going on?”

You pull your hand from older Leon’s and take a few steps toward Leon, “I’m not entirely sure, but everything’s okay, okay?”

“Don’t,” he puts his hand out in front of him causing you to halt your movements. “Just… stay over there.”

You feel your face fall at the tone of his voice, talking as if he’s disgusted by you. It causes you to step backwards, your back colliding with older Leon’s chest.

“It’s okay,” he quietly speaks into your ear, “He’s just confused right now.” You nod your head in response, because what else can you do?

Leon continues arguing with Chris and Luis, but you tone it out. You turn and look up at older Leon’s face. He brings his hand down to cup your cheek, rubbing his thumb gently beneath your eye. Your eyelids instinctively close in the comfort of his gesture.

“And what the fuck is going on over there?” Leon’s raised voice brings your attention back to him. “Who the fuck is that?”

Your eyes dart between the two of them, not sure if you should tell Leon the truth. Older Leon meets your gaze and nods his head once, encouraging you to speak.

You take a deep breath before speaking, “He’s you, Leon. From the future.”

The room is quiet as you and Leon stare at each other. His face is skeptical as he looks between you and the older man.

“You’re joking?” He huffs out and you shake your head at him. Another moment of silence passes. “What do you mean by that?”

“He’s here to save me, Leon.”

He scowls. “Why are you fucking with me right now? What’s wrong with you?”

Older Leon steps in front of you. “Don’t speak to her like that.”

“Fuck you dude-”

“Can you shut the fuck up?”

“I’m not taking this-”

“Shut the fuck up!” Older Leon yells and the room falls into a silence once again. It’s awkward. It’s fucking uncomfortable. You could cut the tension with a knife. Just any sort of cheesy phrase that could be used to describe this shit, insert that here.

Everything feels so unnatural. How could a conversation ever flow under these conditions? In these circumstances? How are you supposed to act, supposed to talk?

“Do you want her to die?” Older Leon gestures toward you. Leon scoffs and rolls his eyes, but doesn’t answer. “Well. Do you?”

“Obviously not.”

“She will. And there won’t be anything we can do to stop it if you don’t get it together.”

“You gonna kill her?”

“No, but-”

“But nothing! You’re talking out your ass right now. I’m not doing this shit.”

“Really?” Older Leon asks in a monotone voice that has chills running down your spine. Leon nods in response, causing older Leon to suddenly snap.

He closes the gap between the two of them, grabbing Leon by his collar and pushing him towards the giant vat of liquid again.

Chris follows after them. “Leon, what are you doing?”

“I’m going to show him.”

“We don’t even know if that’ll work.”

“Don’t care.”

“Just think for a minute.”

“No.” The men fight the entire way to the top of the vat of liquid, but older Leon manages to get the younger man up there.

“Fuck,” Luis calls out as he runs to the control panel slamming down some buttons. “Okay. Okay! Be careful Leon-” He isn’t able to finish his warning before older Leon is pulling both of the men into the liquid.

“Oh my god!” You gasp out as you watch the Leon’s floating in the water, electrical currents surrounding them, looking like they’re shooting straight into them. Older Leon grips Leon by his shoulders, both their heads falling back weightlessly as they go still in the liquid.

Water swirls all around them and you can do nothing but watch. It’s like they’re the calm in the storm, so still as a whirlpool rages on around them.

As quickly as they entered their comatose states, they’re snapping out of it. Breaking through the top of the liquid and gasping for air.

Older Leon pulls himself up on the platform first, offering Leon a hand that he ignores as he pulls himself out of the liquid as well. They sit on the platform in complete silence, both staring off into space.

A ringing cuts through the silence and Luis picks up a small phone sitting on the control panel.

“Leon,” both men's attention dart to Luis, but he gestures the phone towards the younger of the two. “It’s yours.”

Leon hurries down the ladder and grabs the phone, answering quickly. “Hello?... Now?... Can it wait?...Alright, fine… Yeah, I’ll be right there.” He hangs up the phone and turns to face you. “I have to go. Urgent request by the president.”

“Be safe?” Your voice is barely above a whisper. He nods his head, scanning the room before heading for the door.

He stops dead in his tracks when he sees Rookie, who’s been standing off to the side, staying out of the way this whole time. But he quickly shakes his head and continues, slamming the door shut behind him.

You look over at Rookie and he shrugs at you. “I didn’t think seeing me would help.”

You didn’t think of it that way. Of course Leon would instantly recognize his younger self, it’s what he used to look at in the mirror every day.

“Is he gonna be okay?” You ask no one in particular. Your eyes scan the room, waiting for someone, anyone, to answer you.

“He’ll get there,” Chris finally speaks up. “But we got work to do. We knew he’d be pulled away for that mission, so we knew he wouldn’t be around.” Chris’ hand meets your shoulder and he squeezes in an attempt to comfort you. “Get some rest. Tomorrow, we start Operation Save Your Life? Or whatever you’d like to call it.”

Chris heads out the same door Leon did and your gaze falls to the floor. You doubt you’ll be able to sleep after everything that just happened, but you’d be lying if sleep wasn’t calling out to you.

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eri-pl · 1 month ago

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"Nothing is evil in the beginning" (but it needs a better title, this line is too overused) (for @morgoth-into-the-void-week day 4)

Melkor character study. Surprisingly no TWs, despite sticking close to canon. If I even get this far in the timeline, there won't be drastic descriptions.

But we're in his head (3rd person) and watch him spiral downwards. I guess this may be unsettling. As for now I got through Ainulindale and it's pretty benign in my opinion. A lot of unheatlthy emotions though.

Why do I love writing characters who are wrong? For the irony? Maybe.

No "thee" this time, because the format is weird already. I hope it's readable enough. It is a bit experimental in form. I also hope to some day finish it all the way back to the Void.

Fic below cut.

"I can handle this."

"You can't. You would unmake yourself in an instant. You need to learn. I love you."

"I could. I know I could." He lunges into the void, seeking, yearning, burning to create. It's empty. It shouldn't be empty. He will make it full. "I can handle this."

"Come, meet your kin. Learn them, learn with them. I love you."

"I will. Later. I need to see what's there, I need to find It, I know You will let me one day, I need to. I will learn them later."

"You have to choose. I love you."

"I can do both. I can handle this."

A melody comes, and it's stranger than the Void.

He makes it even stranger, stretches it into far reaches of his thought, far into the Void, where he can make it into something that never have been. And singing it, changing it, making it kindles a light in his heart. It's almost what he had longed for. It is something where there was nothing. But then he stops singing and it fades, and what was it's not no more.

"Almost" is not enough.

He sings again, there is something in the motive, something yearning for an answer, if he could only find it.

"Come, sing with your brother, learn to harmonize with him. I love you."

"I need to understand first! I can't let anyone muddle the question before I find the answer! I can handle this, I can find it, I will not fail You."

"You will. But I love you, Melkor."

He sings louder, desperate to hear it, to grasp it. It's still not loud enough. He needs to grow. So Melkor stretches into the Void, trying to be more than he is. Melkor. That his name. It fits.

Everyone gathers and Melkor meets many of his kin for the first time. Still, his thoughts are wandering through the Void, seeking the answer. When he manages to become fully present and feels the others, the Music has already begun.

It had begun and continued, changing. Not like one motive, explored back and forth in his mind, in his singing, but... Like a line. It had more of this strange quality of passing and then being no more. It was beautiful, but boring, slow. When will we get to filling the Void?

The others sang wrong. It wasn't the song Melkor had been given, it was simpler. Less important. Melkor sang louder to lead them into a more worthy music.

They didn't want to be led and started quarreling. He added more ideas, showing them what could be, what he could make if they stopped slowing him down. If they let his questions bloom to their full glory, if they let him seek the answers undisturbed. Yes, they were trying to help, he was aware of this. But they only slowed him down. He could handle it by himself.

Some managed to help a little, though, adding to his song, and it grew even mightier. But still not mighty enough.

A new theme appeared, but it didn't help, as most of his "kin" still didn't understand anything. A few went quiet, a few more joined him, but this still wasn't enough. Why? Why would they not understand?

Melkor sang as loud as he could, turning his voice into a defeaning roar, yet still, they opposed him. Even his so-called brother. Mostly him.

How could they all be so stupid, so— there was no concept for this. How they sang was— it was like imagining a wrong solution to a problem, but without the "imagining" part. It made Melkor feel things he'd never known before, and they were not entirely unpleasant.

There was strength in this feeling. He channeled this new sensation into his song and many of the others finally shut up.

Then, before Melkor could develop his theme, another break.

He resumed his song, accompanied by some others, seeking... What was he seeking? The quiet countermelody, too slow, too chromatic and yet not tense enough, distracted him.

…He had been asking a question. It had been important. And his foolish "kin" made him lose it.

He would find it again. He was the mightiest, if he wouldn't find it, than no one would. And it was too beautiful to be lost forever. So, he had to.

But first he needed to convince the others, to make them understand that they were singing wrong. They kept stealing his chords, harmonizing them into something unbearable, something... painful. The pain was another new thing.

Another sudden break, halfway as something was beginning, something—

"Melkor, my beloved child. There cannot be a wrong music, none of you can change it against Me even if you try. And if anyone dares, they will prove a part of my plan still, and they will witness beauty beyond their furthest imagining. I love all of you."

All of them. But when it came to a reprimand, Melkor is mentioned specifically. Even thought they were the ones singing wrong.

That hurts.

A Vision appeared before them, solidifying again the order of Time, but Melkor didn't pay much attention to it. And hearing that he was but a part, but an insignificant embellishment—

Something changed.

New beings appeared, like the Ainur but yet unlike. How? How was that not impossible? So fragile, and yet they had a depth to them, and a blinding newness. Something inside them called to Melkor: an answer and a question. He needed to understand. And those creatures, those silver and gold juxtapositions, moved erratically and yet too slowly, not letting him see clearly, not letting him—

What? He started in amazement at how much those Children (was he not enough?) were given, waiting. But no gifts were offered to him, or any of the Ainur; not even to his boring, obedient brother.

Why? A tempest swirled in him, those feelings he'd put before into Music, and a piercing longing. It was as if the whole last part of the Song sounded in his heart.

Melkor pushed it back.

He could handle those feelings, nobody needed to know how lost he was. He would find himself quickly. He'd got enough reprimands already, he didn't need to make it worse by asking stupid questions. Apparently he wasn't good enough. Well, he would prove himself. He could handle this.

First, he had to make this messy place worthy of those tiny, absurd creatures endowned with such gifts. Which, of course, meant that he had to work against most of his so-called "kin", who understood nothing of it.

Why did he always have to do the hardest work?

But he was the mightiest. He could handle this.

the Vision is gone, interrupted earlier even than the Music, and there is Darkness. How can it be gone, after Melkor has put so much effort into it? It hurts, but he can't show that. He has to be mighty. To prove himself.

The Darkness seems to look at him with too many eyes, and he needs to hide his pain his secrets from it, so that it doesn't interfere with his plans. Most of the Ainur look at him with anger, and even the few who joined him shy back in fear. But Melkor needs every tool he can have, so he decides that being feared is a good thing.

"I know that you long for the world to be, that you yearn to meet and know something unlike you, and yet akin, separate and yet real. I love you all, and so—

Eä!"

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szczurkk · 2 months ago

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Yall i need help. What songs remind you of House MD ships/House MD characters? I’m making a playlist but so far i only have:

“No surprises” - Radiohead (House)

“Always forever” - Cults (House/Wilson)

“That’s where you’re wrong” - Arctic Monkeys (Wilson/Amber)

Suggestions please? Thanks in advance!

edit: Thank you everybody for the suggestions! I'd also like to add some more songs i thought of, if anybody wants to make their own song: Lover boy - A-Wall (House/Cuddy)

Careless Whisper - George Michael (House/Wilson)

Sweet Dreams TN - The Last Shadow Puppets (House about Wilson)

She's My collar - Gorrilaz, Kali Uchis (House/Cuddy)

I can't Handle Change - Roar (House)

Nasty Dog - Sir Mix-A-Lot (House about Wilson OR Cuddy)

#house md #malpractice md #hate crimes md #pls help #playlist #music reccomendations #hilson #amber volakis #gregory house #james wilson

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strniohoeee · 1 year ago

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im literally obsessed with ur writings❤️ can u do one where reader has social anxiety and matt tells her to be at somewhere for a date(a crowded place)but he forget to go and reader gets a panic attack and then they argue but the end is fluffy

Stuffy

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader 💌

Synopsis: Matt plans a date with Y/N, but he forgets a few days later. When Y/N shows up at the restaurant, and it’s packed she started to suffocate 🖤

Warnings⚠️: Talks of a panic attack, and that’s about it

Song for the imagine: I can’t handle change- Roar

I hated how anxious I was around people who I didn’t know, or how my throat felt like it was closing when the place became too crowded. I always struggled with social anxiety, but as I got older, and went out less it became even worse

Before I dated Matt, and we were all friends they would try and get me to go to a party, but I never ever went. I simply could not. But once Matt and I got closer, and we started dating he paved the way for me to feel more comfortable.

I didn’t go to every event, but I did show up at a lot more places, and many people were proud of how much I’ve accomplished. I was proud of myself too, I mean had you told me a year ago I’d be going to parties, and actually talking to people I would have laughed in your face. But this is all thanks to Matt. He never made me do anything I didn’t want to, and if I was uncomfortable he was always there for me.

Right now I was getting dressed because Matt asked me out on a date about three days ago. He was laying in my bed while we were dozing off.

“Let’s go out Friday night, like 8pm. I have a meeting with Laura, but after that meet me at Garden’s Kitchen” he said while snuggled into me

“Yeah sure I’ll meet you there” I told him, and we fell asleep

So that’s what I was currently getting dressed for, and I was about to head out, and meet him downtown. I was very anxious to travel downtown alone, but I knew the Uber would drop me off in front of the restaurant, and all I had to do was walk in , and meet with Matt.

I got to the restaurant at about 10 after 8, because of traffic, so that already made me anxious. I hopped out of the car, and walked inside…..immediately my heart sank. It was fucking PACKED

My heart started to race, and my palms got sweaty. I started to look around, and my eyes landed on a big sign that said $2 margaritas every Friday.

I was fucking mortified this place was so packed I kept getting bumped into. I shimmied my way to a corner, and pulled out my phone to text Matt

“Hey baby I’m here! It’s packed. Did you get a seat?” I texted him

“Hey babe, where are you?” He asked me

“I’m all the way at the front by the entrance” I texted back

“Wait what? No I mean like where are you?” He asked again

“Oh. I’m at Gardens Kitchen for our date, remember?” I texted back

“A date? I’m sorry baby I don’t remember” he said

My heart started racing even more, and I thought I was about to pass out

“The date you asked me on ... .3 days ago?” I texted back

“I’m really sorry, but I don’t remember” he said

I tried to text him, but my messages weren’t going through, so I tried to call him, but my calls weren’t going through as well….one of us had bad service.

“Excuse me ma’am” I heard so I looked up

“Yes?” I asked

“Are you getting a table or not? Theres people waiting on you” she said rudely

I looked behind me, and a line had formed

“Oh no I’m sorry!” I said back in shock

“So then step off the line” the guy behind me said

“Oh I’m sorry” i said back

Then all of a sudden it just got so loud, and everyone was talking to me, and looking at me, and I swore my hearing was going out

I started to have a panic attack, my vision got blurry, my chest was heavy and I felt like I was going to die. Then all of a sudden the tears started streaming down my face

I ran out of the restaurant trying to ground myself, and with shaky fingers i ordered an Uber to go to the triplets house

It was about a 30 minute drive, my texts and calls still weren’t going through to Matt. I was trying to stay calm but I was so overstimulated I really thought I was going to die

I had gotten to the triplets house, using the pin pad to let myself in. I heard them laughing in the kitchen

I stomped up the stairs

“HOW COULD YOU” I said stomping towards the kitchen

“Baby! Baby! You’re okay” Matt said running up to me

“YOU DIDNT ANSWER ME. YOU LEFT ME THERE AT A BUSY PLACE KNOWING HOW I GET. I HAD PEOPLE YELLING AT ME, AND I HAD A PANIC ATTACK” I said raising my voice

“I didn’t do it on purpose I swear, my phone had no service” he said looking into my eyes

“Matt, you asked me out three days ago…how did you forget? And then you send me to a restaurant that serves $2 margaritas on a Friday night…. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE WERE THERE” I said starting to shake feeling another panic attack beginning to start

“I KNOW, and I’m sorry okay I really didn’t remember. I would never do anything to hurt you” he said pulling me in and rubbing my back

“Matt I felt like I was going to die” I said sobbing into his chest

“Baby it’s okay! You’re here with me. You’re okay. Don’t worry I got you my love. Breathe in and out” he said to me

I was shaking and sobbing and I couldn’t catch my breath

“Can you hear me? Can you hear my voice? Breathe in and out okay here give me your hands” he grabbed my hands and put them on his face

“You can feel me, you feel my jaw, and my nose, you can feel me talking when I put your hands here” he said as he placed my hands on his chest

“Look at me okay look at me” he said, and finally I opened my eyes while I was taking deep shallow breaths

“Look at my eyes, what color are they?” He asked me

“Bl- they’re blue” I said in broken sobs

“And my hair what color is my hair” he said bringing my hands to his hair

“It’s brown” I said taking deeper breaths

“My lips, how do they feel” he said rubbing my finger on his lips

“They feel soft” I said

He placed his hand on my heart

“Breathe in….and out. I got you! You’re okay follow me” he said and started to breathe in and out

I followed his orders, and slowly my heart rate started to go down

“Okay good, very good. You’re okay y/n I’m here with you” he said still having his hand on my heart

“I’m sorry Matt” I said pulling him in for a hug

“This is not your fault. This is all my fault. I sent my baby out to a place, and I wasn’t even there, and I let her down. I let her have a panic attack” he said placing his hand on the back of my head kissing the top of my head

“No Matt you forgot. I should have reminded you” I told him pulling away

“Don’t worry about it baby , okay. This will never ever happen ever again. I will never do some stupid shit like that again” he said walking me over to the kitchen table

Nick handed me water, and Chris gave me my comfort pillow that I had for when I would have a panic attack

“Are you okay?” Nick asked looking at me

“Yes I’m okay” I said nodding my head and taking a sip of water

“I love you so much y/n, and know that I would never do anything to hurt you” he said rubbing my cheek with the back of his hand

“I know Matt. I love you too” I said weakly as I gave in to his touch

That night Matt and I stood attached at the hip, and we ate pizza and watched movies, and honestly I forgot about my panic attacks. Nick and Chris also came in for a bit making sure I was okay and giving me hugs.

I loved Matt so much.

The End

I hope you guys liked this one, and whoever requested lmk how you liked it 🖤💋

-J💅🏽

A/N: I’m 21🧎🏽‍♀️

#sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo triplets imagines #matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo fanfic

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lightyaoigami · 2 months ago

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sharing my writing playlist for my piece in @lawlightzine ∴ pre-order your copy of conviction at lawlightzine.bigcartel.com & read my preview here~

yumeji's theme ∴ shigeru umebayashi

i wanna be yours ∴ arctic monkeys ∴ i wanna be your setting lotion, hold your hair in deep devotion

wicked game ∴ chris isaak ∴ what a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you

memoria ∴ indochine ∴ je te retrouverai comme tu étais, je te retrouverai comme si rien n'avait changé

you're the one ∴ the vogues ∴ since i met you, i just can't forget you, i love you more each day

tessellate ∴ alt-j ∴ triangles are my favorite shape, three points where two lines meet

i need you ∴ steve beddall ∴ i need this fantasy, so i can recognize what's hidden from me

when i'm small ∴ phantogram ∴ bring me to the fire, throw me in the flame, so show me love

i can't handle change ∴ roar ∴ i can't help but repeat myself, i know it's not your fault, still lately i begin to shake for no reason at all

bag of bones ∴ mitski ∴ mercy on me, would you please spare me tonight? i'm tired of this searching, would you let me let go?

end of the world ∴ skeeter davis ∴ i can't understand, no i can't understand how life goes on the way it does

pink in the night ∴ mitski ∴ i know i've kissed you before but i didn't do it right, can i try again, try again, try again?

dreams tonite ∴ alvvays ∴ if i saw you on the street, would i have you in my dreams tonight?

space song ∴ beach house ∴ tender is the night for a broken heart, who will dry your eyes when it falls apart?

end of the world ∴ remy bond ∴ why am i so nostalgic for the now, if only i’m dreaming?

we'll meet again ∴ vera lynn ∴ we'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when, but i know we'll meet again some sunny day

#fic: amor fati #fic: lacuna #lawlight zine #lawlight #death note #fanmix

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thesecretsofthedivine · 1 year ago

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Zodiac Playlist 🌠

Aries

mars - sleeping at last

ride - lana del rey

bathroom - montell fish

fun - troye sivan

fireball - pitbull

stayin' alive - bee gees

god save our young blood - børns

anti-hero - taylor swift

talk that talk - rihanna

clumsy - fergie

Taurus

venus - sleeping at last

breakfast at tiffany's - henry mancini

chanel - frank ocean

kiss it off me - cigarettes after sex

snooze - SZA

want u around - omar apollo

habit - still woozy

peach - kevin abstract

nonsense - sabrina carpenter

talk - hozier

Gemini

mercury - sleeping at last

pov - ariana grande

mood ring baby - field medic

glittr - aldn

running wild - g eazy

island in the sun - weezer

japanese posters - rebounder

master of none - beach house

faerie soirée - melanie martinez

ways to go - grouplove

Cancer

moon - sleeping at last

where did the time go - lord huron

ho hey - the lumineers

my love mine all mine - mitski

idle town - conan gray

k. - cigarettes after sex

italo disco - last dinosaurs

glue song - beabadoobee

sea of love - cat power

fourth of july - sufjan stevens

Leo

sun - sleeping at last

dancing queen - abba

let me blow ya mind - eve, gwen stefani

money - cardi b

literal legend - ayesha erotica

kitty kat - megan thee stallion

carmen - lana del rey

my kind of woman - mac demarco

amber - 311

chemtrails over the country club - lana del rey

Virgo

mercury - sleeping at last

tell me something i don't know - selena gomez

the boat i row - tame impala

girl next door - copperpot

crying in the chapel - elvis presley

iwillbreatheintoyou - bones

down to earth - umi

bambi - clairo

virgo's groove - beyoncé

are you satisfied - marina

Libra

venus - sleeping at last

sweet talk - saint motel

lover - taylor swift

in my head - ariana grande

pink funeral - beach house

fashion - britney manson

normal girl - sza

sit still, look pretty - daya

comfort crowd - conan gray

we fell in love in october - girl in red

Scorpio

mars/pluto - sleeping at last

private - russ

dirty paws - of monsters and men

borderline - tame impala

dead to me - kali uchis

not dead yet - lord huron

i can't handle change - roar

animal - sir chloe

vigilante shit - taylor swift

death - melanie martinez

Sagittarius

jupiter - sleeping at last

here, there and everywhere - the beatles

canyon moon - harry styles

can't sleep - k. flay

sunset chaser - ragamuffs

only if - steve lacy

the balancer's eye - lord huron

youth - troye sivan

cherry bomb - the runaways

bloom later - jesse

Capricorn

saturn - sleeping at last

living on my own - freddie mercury

princess diana - ice spice

high stakes - bryson tiller

therefore i am - billie eilish

successful - ariana grande

i wouldn't ask you - clairo

radio - lana del rey

vienna - billy joel

mastermind - taylor swift

Aquarius

uranus/saturn - sleeping at last

you don't own me - saygrace

better friends - between friends

night fever - bee gees

mortal projections - djo

transparent soul - willow

she moves in her own way - the kooks

dare - gorillaz

hits different - taylor swift

arabella - arctic monkeys

Pisces

jupiter/neptune - sleeping at last

love my way - the psychedelic furs

technicolor beat - oh wonder

made for love - concorde

ivy - frank ocean

my song - labi siffre

ultimately - khai dreams

bella luna - babe rainbow

ride - wave to earth

fishtail - lana del rey

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saltwaterburns · 1 year ago

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as our worlds move on, in this shirt, i can be you

summary: lockwood reminisces about everything you were and everything you won't be

warnings: just sad rambles & stuff i suppose! 😁

pairing: anthony lockwood x gone!reader

a/n: Did el just?? Write angst?? While being an avid angst hater??? Could it be?? Yes. Yes it was. Whipped this baby up in half an hour while doing my bio homework. Ur welcome!!! This was written with a very specific song in mind. The reader isn't necessarily dead? Ghost touched or ghost locked, whatever your heart desires! Some of this text was taken from a tiktok caption i saw in May 😋

"My calendar's stuck on January, the month that you passed, and I haven't changed the sheets on my bed since. But it seems I still somehow find the strength to water the lilies, your lilies, because I know they were your favourite and I can't handle losing another part of you."

He stops scribbling and lets his pen drop to the table, closing his eyes from exhaustion. The hour is late, the silence around him overbearing, but his mind is amiss. His thoughts are like the wild, untameable sea, roaring out again and again and again, come back. Come back, come back, come back.

But you're not coming back. Not when he asks, not even when he asks nicely. Not when he begs, not when he cries. All he's got left of you are memories of fleeting looks, hushed giggles and gentle brushes of hands and lips against each other.

For a moment he thinks he can still smell and feel you. He thinks he can almost imagine your eyes, the mischievous sparkle in them. It's a fleeting moment if anything but it happens, his mind takes him back to when your eyes locked and that's when he realizes everything that's beautiful in the world started with you and the magic you held, the love you sprinkled like pixie dust on everyone you ever met. Then the moment passes quicker than it occurred, and he's left in a world where your touch still lingers, where your fingerprints still exist in the dust adorning his home and where the flowers beside your bed have just begun to wilt. Where the love that you carried has spread further than you could've ever imagined and made new again so many hearts you never broke.

He's left utterly alone in a world where every thing, every sensation and feeling is a constant reminder of you and who you were, who you aspired but never got to be. His mind is plagued by your essence when he wakes and it continues when he manages to somehow fall into a light sleep, his heart heavy with the knowledge that once again he shall wake with a startled gasp as the clock reaches 2 am, his hand reaching for you, only to be met with cold sheets that have long ago lost your scent and your warmth.

His gaze trails over the kitchen and falls to the umbrella holder next to the front door where your rapier, still untouched, resides. The golden hues of the kitchen light reflect back from the shiny blade, pink gemstones glimmering on the handle, and for a second he feels like as if they reflect the sparkle of his tears.

It's so you. Decorating your rapier, the one thing keeping you safe in a world filled with souls both dead and alive with cheap little gems. It's so irrevocably you that his heart leaps in his chest. This almost primal urge to tease you, ask if you want to stick some butterfly stickers onto the blade too arises in him and he gives in to it, turning to face your chair, but the words die in his throat.

He clenches his jaw, squeezing his hands into fists, letting his nails dig crescent shaped marks into his flesh. The pain sobers him up like a bucket of cold water, pushing arising tears back down his tear duct. He refuses to cry.

He refuses to cry because you aren't here to hold him, kiss away the salty tears pouring down his cheeks and muffle the sobs wrecking his body with your lips anymore. You aren't here and it finally dawns upon him. You aren't here and he's alone, just like it seems he's meant to be.

#anthony lockwood #anthony lockwood x reader #george karim #lockwood and co #lockwood and co x reader #lucy carlyle #george karim x reader #lucy carlyle x reader #light angst #or heavy angst?#death mention tw #anthony bloody lockwood #lockwood netflix #lockwood x reader #lockwood x y/n #Spotify

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