#sometimes your body knows something is deeply deeply wrong but it doesn't know how to communicate that other than

[a-spes]

Can I request a Kate Bishop fic with a fem reader where they're dating and the reader finally opened up about their mental health struggles and past attempts and shows Kate the scars that formed from self harm and they have a serious conversation and the fic is very fluffy? If this is too dark or triggering I completely understand.

Down A Dangerous Road. — One-Shot. (4,344 words).

" The woman would never judge you for the things you have done when you were at you lowest, but some had in the past, and sometimes you could still hear their voices in the back of your mind. You were a disapointment to everyone. Everyone, but Kate. The archer was able to see past the darkness that stained your heart. She saw the person behind the pain, and gave you a chance to feel love. "

| Tags & Warnings — Kate Bishop x Reader. Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Sickfic. One-shot. Comforting and Happy Ending. Crying, Depression, Healing, Mental Health Issues, Recovery, Implied Past Self-Harm, Self-Harm Ideations (No Act Is Described Or Happen), Suicidal Ideations. Please, read carefully, and take care <3

| MAIN MASTERLIST & REQUEST GUIDELINES.

You can't recognize your face.

And it doesn't matter for how long you've been starring at your reflection, because the image returned by the mirror still feels foreign.

You looked at it until the details became blurry, until it became a shapless form that blends in with the rest of the room. You looked at it until you could not tell what you were looking at anymore.

Your gaze lost in emptiness, you wonder where did your smile go. And you may have been watching yourself in the mirror for hours, but you still haven't found it.

At some point, you tried to forcefully bring the smile back on your face, forcing the edges of your lips to rise again. Yet, it looked wrong. It was ridiculous, and painfully fake.

It was the eyes.

Because they never lie, and there was no chance that Kate wouldn't see past the act you were trying to put up. The woman knows you too well to fall into your traps, and as soon as she enters the appartment you share, she will know something is wrong. Without asking any questions, without speaking, just by looking into your eyes, she will know, and that is the last thing you want.

Kate Bishop may be your girlfriend, but she also is a hero, and you know how demanding her job can be. Every day, she puts her life in danger to save thousand of strangers — Something for which you deeply admire her. The last thing you want is to add your problems to the weight she is already carrying.

After a day spent in your bed, thinking about all the things that needed to be done, blaming yourself for not being able to complete the tasks,

You wish you could give your girlfriend the comfort she deserves. Usually, by the time she is back home, you would have taken care of most of the chores.

But not today.

Today, you have been unable to achieve anything. You spent the day in your bed, and if you were unable to move, your thoughts were racing the whole time, not giving you a moment to rest — How could you, when you had so much to do?

The dirty laundry was still in the basket, despite your promise to do it. The bed was undone, exactly how she left it this morning. And there was no warm meal waiting for her on her return, you didn't even have the energy to cook yourself anything, too busy drowning in your guilt, and shame.

When you woke up this morning, you tried to ignore it.

You tried to get up, and go about your day, as if your body didn't weight ten times what it usually does, as if every breath you took wasn't stealing all your energy.

It is a feeling you knew all too well, one you thought you would never know again. That's why you had ignored the signs that appeared in the previous days, fooling yourself into thinking that everything was fine when it was not.

It is your fault, you thought.

It is your fault because you preferred to pretend that you were just tired, even though it quickly became obvious that it wasn't the cause of your torments.

Soon, the few more hours of sleep became a day spent in bed, unable to leave the comfort of your sheets. Suddenly, everything was overwhelming, even the idea of getting up, and so you just kept putting off the moment when you'll have to do it, until the day was already coming to an end — It is too late, now.

You had tried to pretend that everything was fine. You had tried to push these feelings away because you didn't want to face the truth — That you were slowly going back to the state you were in months ago, when you were at you lowest. You wanted to ignore the signs of your distress, not wanting to go back to the days when you were so hopeless, in such agony, that you've resorted to drastic measures.

It has been months — fifteen exactly, and three days — since you last did it, a bit less than a year since you last thought about doing it.

Fifteen months.

Almost a year, and a half.

It is a lot of time, and so you thought your struggles were behind you. You may never forget the things you have done, the scars on your arms being a constant reminder of where you come from, but it felt like those things happened ages ago.

How could you have imagined that, fifteen months later, you would suddenly be back where you started, feeling as distraught as the day you decided to stop? You couldn't, because you never thought that life would be cruel enough to try to tear you away from your newly acquired peace.

Now that you had tasted how sweet life could be, you didn't want to give up this privilege, knowing you wouldn't be strong enough to survive losing everything for the second time. It is a battle you barely survived the first time, one that left permanent scars on your soul and body, and you have spent years trying to rebuild yourself after that — Something you recently achieved, or so you thought.

Everything has been so perfect since you met Kate.

One day, you bumped into each other, and since, you have been unable to pull apart. Your lives became entangled, creating a mess you didn't want to get rid of.

She gave you a reason to stay. Not only for her, but for yourself. She gave you something you have been missing all your life, something you couldn't find on your own — Hope. She gifted with you the most important thing in someone's life.

At first, you were staying because you wanted to read her next messages, because you were waiting for your next encounters, eager to see her smile and hear her laugh at least one more time.

But then, you stayed because you have learned how it felt to be loved, and seen. When you were by her side, it was as if everything became clear, and the future you have long refused to imagine, thinking that you would never live to see it, suddenly became a reality. One that was filled with the best this world had to offer, things that you always thought you didn't deserve.

And so you stayed.

The path to recovery hasn't been easy, but you made it, and thought that it was eventually behind you — You wanted it to be, because you felt ready to move on.

Until today.

Today, you are standing in the bathroom, seconds away from doing something wrong — Really wrong.

Today, your hands are gripping so tightly the rim of the porcelain basin that your knuckles are turning white, because you are scared of the things you might do if you free your hands.

Today, you can't let go of these ideas that poison your mind, you can't silence those vicious voices.

Today, you went back two years, and you are powerless again as you try to fight the same demons than the ones that used to haunt you. You have tried to ignore them, but instead of making them go away, it made them stronger.

Your breath is erratic, and your chest rising quickly, as you feel the panic rising up inside you. You are doing everything you can to ignore the aching feeling in your arms, fighting against yourself to not draw more blood out of them, to not break the promise you made yourself sixteen months ago — To never do it again. Ever. To prove them that you could be stronger than they thought, that you could be a lot more than just a disappointment, a failure.

You refuse to draw new lines along the old ones.

But your determination alone was not enough to save you from this situation, and you felt like you were merely postponing the inevitable. The whole day, you have tried to ignore these thoughts, but your mind was restless, and your thhoughts always returned, invitably, those dark scenarios.

You were consumed by this sense of hopelessness. It was blinding you, preventing you from seeing anything but the worst — What was the point of trying if you were doomed to fall back every time? There is nothing more frustrating than your inability to get better despite your attempts.

You want to be fine, more than anything, because Kate deserves the best, and because now that she is by your side, you are no longer sure you want to leave this life.

But when you look at yourself in the mirror, all you see is a girl that You have dark circles so pronounced that no amount of concealer could hide them. Your eyes were puffy, and red, because you spent most of your day crying in frustration.

But even the tears hasn't been enough to ease your mind, and you eventually ran out of them before you feel any better. On the contrary, it was even worse.

You wanted to cry, to get rid of the emotions that have settled in your body, those that were too much, but you couldn't, and nothing seemed to bring you comfort.

Your favorite food tasted strange, and the characters of your comfort were only getting on your nerves. Today, everything was too much, nothing felt right, and the things that were supposed to bring you comfort, only elicit cries of frustration for you.

You have tossed in bed most of the day, unable to rest, or to do anything else. And, as the hours went by, the thoughts you first tried to ignore, became obsessive. They looped in your mind, like a music that would play a little too loud, but that you couldn't stop.

You were so deep in your thoughts that you didn't hear when the door clicked, nor the footsteps that followed. Even when the woman swore, because her keys slipped out of her hands, you didn't react. Yet, usually you would have reprimanded her, shouting from the other end of the apartment.

But not today. Today it remained silent.

Yours ears were ringing, and you couldn't quite make the difference between the noises in your surroundings, and the things that were in your head. You were enveloped in a kind of mist that blended everything.

It was only when she entered the room that you realized she was home — Already? But you had so much to do, and barely time to do anything. She could not be home already, it is impossible.

Kate has been cautious, trying to not startle you because she noticed that you seemed.. absent. But, despite the gentleness of her gesture, you jumped when her hand came to rest on your shoulder.

A gesture that was supposed to be gentle, and tender, but which simply accentuated your confusion — She couldn't be home, not yet. She couldn't see the evidences of your inability. Yet, before you get a chance to say something, to try to find an excuse, the woman spoke.

"Love, what's wrong?" she whispered, the concern evident in her voice as she talks.

She is not asking if you are okay, already knowing that you would lie, brushing away the question. You always do this, you always tell her you are fine when you are not.

In addition, it seemed like an unnecessary question to ask. Even if she wasn't your girlfriend, she could have seen it, the sorrow on your face. It was written on every feature of your face — And that made her feel terrible.

It had been a long time since she has seen you in such a state, and in the past, the woman had hope that it would be the last every time because she couldn't stand to see your suffering. In these moments, Kate wished she could take it all, and replace your pained expression by a smile. But she can't work miracles. She is not a witch, only an archer, and her weapons were of no use to her in such a situation.

There was nothing she hated more than this feeling of helplessness. She is a hero. If she can save the world, if she can fight villain, then she should be able to make your demons go away — Right? What was the point of being strong, if she wasn't strong enough to help the only person that really matters?

But your problems couldn't be solved with a fist.

It was something invisible, something more vicious. A battle against yourself, and whatever dark thoughts the voices in your head came up with this time. It was a battle she couldn't fight for you, one you had to win on your own.

But you weren't sure you are strong enough to fight it, and you would rather run away — After all, it is your specialty, isn't it? You had this bad habit of burrying all the things you didn't want to feel deep down, where they could not bother you anymore — At least, until they eventually became too much to be kept hidden.

And that's exactly what you wanted to do, when Kate asked this question — "What's wrong?" The second the question crossed her lips, you wanted to answer it with a lie — "Nothing, I am fine."

But you knew better than to lie to Kate.

The woman is not dumb enough to believe anything else than the truth. She could already read the reasons for your torments on your face, and strange attitude.

Usually, when she comes home, you wait impatiently for her return, throwing yourself into her arms as soon as she walks through the door, and never you have hidden as you did today.

You were torn between two opposite needs, and while a part of you demanded that you remain strong, another part whispered to you to accept the comfort Kate was offering. You were craving for it, wanting nothing more than to throw yourself in her arms, but for that you needed to admit your weaknesses first, to share your darkest thoughts with her despite the fear that knotted your throat.

What if she leaves? One of the little voices says.

What if she eventually realizes that she deserves better? Someone that is not a complete mess. Someone she could build a future with.

But when she saw the tears in your eyes, when saw your hesitation to accept the comfort she was trying to provide, none of these thoughts crossed her mind, not even for an instant, because Kate could never see you as weak.

On the contrary, she was amazed by your strenght, and resilence, witnessing all the battles you have fought in silence, believing it was your burden, and only yours, to carry.

That is what was worrying Kate the most, your silences. She always made sure to keep an eye on you from afar, and even when you tought she was unaware of your mal-being, she was providing small, and almost invisible, acts of reassurance, waiting for the moment you would be ready to talk about it soon.

But she might have forgotten how stubborn you are.

When she came home that day, she feared that she had given you too much space, that she waited too long. The relief she felt when she saw you were fine came with the promise that she won't allow you to hide in silence anymore.

However, it seemed that you were eventually ready to accept a bit of the comfort the woman could provide. In fact, you came to the same conclusions — You waited too long, and it almost led you to make a big mistake.

When you walked up to her, the woman immediately opened her arms to you, a silent encouragement to chase away your last hesitations.

It is when you eventually find comfort in her embrace that your last barriers collapse, and then you can't hide your tears anymore. Your face may be burried into her neck, but she knows that you are crying. The woman does not need to see your face to reach this conclusion, your body being shaken by each of your loud sobs.

For the next few dozens of minutes, your cries are the only thing that break the silence. You desperately want to explain yourself, but you can't stop the tears long enough to say a few words — What could you say, anyway? How could you admit your darkest thoughts to the person you love the most?

You can't, because the urge not to worry her is surpassing all of your fears. You are ready to fight this battle alone, and to lose it alone, if it means not dragging the archer into it.

Kate is so gentle. She always finds time for you despite her hero obligations. She shows a patience with you that no one has ever shown before. She made you feel loved, and seen, even in the toughest moments.

Sometimes, you feel like you do not deserve her sweetness, the woman having given you more than you will ever be able to give her back — She gave you hope, a reason to stay, to try again.

She cradles you, pressing soft kisses on your forehead from time to time. Kate provides reassurance, but she doesn't try once to make your tears stop, or to force the words out of your mouth.

The archer simply waits.

She waits until your tears dry on their own, until you feel ready to speak, because that is not her decision to make.

But, when you eventually felt ready to pull away, and to leave the comfort of her embrace to meet her gaze, the words didn't come, still stuck in your knotted throat. You looked at her, your eyes puffy from your intense crying, and you really wanted to say something — you had to — and yet you remained silent.

Your thoughts were a mess that you couldn't make sense of, partially because of a headache, coupled with the excessive emotions you were feeling at the moment. Everything was so overwhelming, and you knew that, the second you would try to speak, you would cry again, and that's the last thing you want.

Fortunately, Kate seemed to understand your silent pleas for help. Of the entire evening, if she hasn't broached the subject again, waiting for you to do it first, she has been keeping an eye on you at all time — The woman was scared of what you might do in her back.

It is only later in the evening, when you were both in the living room, lying on the couch, that the words suddenly came back.

Kate was sitting with her legs crossed, and you were lying down with your head resting on her thigh. One of her hands was unconsciouly stroking your hair, a gesture that was enough to take all your worries away. You were supposed to watch a movie, but you weren't able to stay focused for more than a few minutes, your thoughts being louder that the voices of your comfort characters.

"I was thinking about harming myself," you bluntly admitted, and the woman didn't reply — not yet, because she could feel that you were not done, that more words wanted to escape your lips, but they were heavy, and not easy to pronounce.

The last thing she wanted was to pressure you, fearing that it would push you further into silence. However, despite her apparent lack of reaction, you can feel that the news trouble her, her hand halting its movement for a moment before resuming.

When you spoke, you were cautious, afraid that the woman would scream, but the anger never came to replace the tenderness of her gesture, and so, despite your initial hesitation, you eventually found the courage to continue your explanations.

"Earlier, in the bathroom, that is what was wrong," you explained further, "but I didn't do it, I promise," you immediately added, feeling a sudden need to justify yourself, probably because you didn't want Kate to worry too much. "It has been months since I last did it, and I haven't even thought about doing it since. But tonight, it was.. different.. and when I saw my old scars, I- I don't know, I felt so desperate. It is as if there is no point in trying, as if I could never get better, and these scars will always be there to remind me that I am a mess," you paused for a second before sharing the last few words that were on your mind, the hardest. "Tonight, I almost gave in to those urges," you said, eventually admitting the darkest thoughts that crossed your mind earlier that day.

"Love, you are not a mess," she whispers softly, trying to not show how touched she is by your confession. Kate has seen the scars before, but she never mentioned the subject, waiting for the day you would be comfortable enough to open up on your own. "Do you know what I see in these lines?" She asked, as her hand stop stroking your hair and move towards your arm, where she traces your scars with a tenderness that no one has ever shown you before.

You shake your head — No, you don't know.

"I see all your strenght," she softly answered the question, "because you've come a long way, and you did it on your own. You never gave up, even when the world was against you," she added, and that is when your gazes eventually met.

"What if next time I can't stop myself?" You mumbled the question after a silence of several minutes. You were hesitant, and your words were carrying all your fears.

"Then I'll be here to stop you," she promised, and her hands cupped your face, preventing you from looking away as she talks. "I won't let that happen, I will catch you before you hit rock bottom, and we'll get through this together as many times as it takes, okay?" She added, but despite the confidence in her voice, the woman is worried — What if you decide to remain silent once more, and she can't see the signs of your distress before it is too late? The thought that she might loose you was consuming her from the inside.

And you believed her, and every of her words, because when you looked in her eyes, you only saw the promise of a better future — You saw hope, and determination,something you have been desperatly lacking the past few days.

"I know it is bad," you confessed, "I know that I shouldn't do that, but.. you know, sometimes, it's.. the pain, it won't go away, and these voices won't shut up..," you took a break to take a deep breath that will give you the courage to go on.

You know the woman will tell you that you do not need to explain yourself, but you still feel like you need to, as if the explanations could make the situation less embarrasing.

The woman would never judge you for the things you have done when you were at you lowest, but some had in the past, and sometimes you could still hear their voices in the back of your mind. You were a disapointment to everyone. Everyone, but Kate. The archer was able to see past the darkness that stained your heart. She saw the person behind the pain, and gave you a chance to feel love.

"I don't want to go back to it, Kate," you said, almost begging, and she could see the tears that filled your eyes, she could hear the way your voice broke on the last words despite your attempt to stay strong.

"I know, baby, and I won't let you," she promised again, "we will figure it out together, you don't have to face it alone anymore, okay? I am here for you, now," she soflty said in your ear, right before she lays a comforting kiss on your forehead.

When she thinks about the things you had to endure in silence, about the ones the battle you fought alone, her heart breaks. She can't accept that you had no one to take care of you when you were at your lowest, and she is determined to make things different this time.

If the archer had to take a step back from saving the world to save you, she would not hesitate, not even for an instant — What was the point in being a hero if she couldn't save the only person that really matter, the one she loves?

"I am proud of you, for telling me," she later whispered, when you were already in bed, entangled in each other. She was holding you firmly in her arms, as if she was scared that you would disapear if she wasn't careful enough.

Kate was aware of how difficult it was for you to accept being vulnetable to others, and the praise meant more to you than she could have imagined when she said those words.

You knew that the next weeks wouldn't be easy, because healing never is. It was a constant battle against oneself. Yet, this time, you feel ready, and sure of yourself, because Kate is by your side. She said it, she promised it, and knowing that you wouldn't have to face your demons alone made them less scary.

She is your reason.

Your reason to stay, your light, your everything.

| MAIN MASTERLIST & REQUEST GUIDELINES. | Thanks for reading! Do not hesitate to leave a comment if you appreciated the fic', and/or to reblog it to share with others. It only takes a few seconds, but it would mean a lot to me <3

[queenrinacat]

I work in emergency medicine, and I can tell you that a sense of doom is something we take extremely seriously. A sudden, overwhelming feeling of doom is a symptom of an imminent heart attack. When I worked 911 on an ambulance and a patient reported feeling like the world was about to end, or like they were going to die, even without any other symptoms? We rushed them to the hospital as fast as we possibly could.

I'm saying this from a place of genuine care: if you are seeing ghosts or shadows or having nightmares... and sageing, eggshells, Crystal's, and psychics arent cutting it..

Please.. please... check for things like gas leaks, water damage, vermin. I'm not saying your house isnt haunted, I'm just saying that carbon monoxide poisoning looks a LOT like being haunted.

[r0-boat]

how do you think the kings would react to a very afeccionate mc? like, they are just hard clingy and loves to fill them with cuddles and kisses

Whb 5 Kings react to affectionate MC

Satan

Satan is not an affectionate devil. He doesn't do the mushy, gushy kisses and cuddles. However, you are the only exception. Being in your arms just calms him down. When he is in a bad mood and about to destroy the next thing in front of him, All you have to do is wrap your arms around him and bring his head into your chest, and he will take a deep breath, taking in your calming scent before exhaling deeply. He will crave your touch even if he doesn't know how to ask. Sometime, he even snatches you up and whispers mine, growling when you try to struggle out of his grip.

He'll give you lipstick just for you to kiss him and leave your kiss marks all over him and he will parade around like the happiest man on earth.

He loves most when you run give him soft supple touches It tickles and it feels good.

Mammon

Yes. However, your affection will always lead to something more because he's confused. What do you mean cuddles do not mean sexy time??

He likes being the big spoon; you're so small against his huge body when he holds you, he grabs all of you in his hand, and you're so soft compared to him. He wants to have you always.

His favorites are when you're in his lap, when he carries you like a princess when you try to wrap your arms around him, and you just can't because he's so big compared to you. He will gladly let you sit in his lap anywhere, anytime you may sit anywhere you like as long as it's on him. Mammon can effortlessly pick you up with one hand, carrying you around like the grocery bag or a knapsack; You don't have to worry about "hurting him."He likes being your big teddy bear.

Leviathan

What is this? What are you doing?? His eyes will go wide until he has realized this is what he's needed his whole life wrapping his arms around you and holding you close. This warmth that he feels being close to you. Levi does not understand that feeling, but is not a bad feeling—quite the opposite.

How to get Levi to be soft: step one cuddle. hold him close he will melt in your arms.

And when you try to get away from him, he will slowly reach and tug on your clothing, not wanting to let you go just yet. Levi takes his cuddle time very seriously. No one shall interrupt his precious time. Levi takes his cuddle time very seriously. No one shall interrupt his precious time

Beelzebub

What do you mean cuddles don't equal sex??? Though your touchyness is nice, I can see Beel becoming really touchy as well, like he cannot be in the same room with you without touching you in some way, from the littlest things like wrapping an arm around you to needing to be the one to sit so close to you that your shoulders are touching. Please don't move away from him. He will be crushed.

Pat or scratch his head He goes crazy for those It feels so good to get a head massage It feels like his brain is melting and all he can do is lay in your lap and think about how calming your fingers running through his hair feels.

Lucifer

Not much of a cuddler, But if it makes you happy, then I guess he'll indulge. He likes when you are sitting in his lap while he's working or laying on his shoulder while he's reading. Occasionally, he will bring his hand to your head and pet you or wrap an arm around you and bring you closer. But don't expect much from Lucifer. Just being in your vicinity is enough for him. If you ever walk out a room, he will pick up his stuff and follow you.

Lucifer will let you, but don't expect him to initiate back. But don't you dare stop; he will immediately think something is wrong. Just because he doesn't initiate touching that doesn't mean he doesn't want you.

[crimsoncandy04]

wanderer but pre-remembering everything event smut.. i wanna kiss him and love him please.. maybe with slight jealousy?

Pre-Scaraification Wanderer?

So the only canon Kabukimono interaction scene we got before hoyo re-traumatized him and just TOOK him away from us forever 😻😺💜💙?

Ooh I have been WAITING for this.

(sorry I just have the biggest crush on Wanderer when he was still a sweetheart tbh. Like he was so cool and sexy as a harbinger and admirable and determined in his new healing era but his Kabu days just have a special place in my heart cause he was literally such a cutie with a heart of gold before shit hit the fan)

I'll fulfill your request with great enthusiasm fellow human.

(for plot reasons we were his secret fling before the irminsul event and now we find him again. Just BEFORE Traveler does and ruins everything of course

😔😒)

"Kuni I found you!" You call out excitedly as you rush over and instinctively wrap your arms around your lover's neck.

Except he doesn't embrace you back.

If anything he seems nervous and...shy?

"do we know each other?" A strangely pleasant voice suddenly asks you.

You look up at Kunikuzushi with a confused expression.

"what? Of course we do. What are you talking about? We see each other...all the time..." Your face falters as you finally register that something is wrong.

"Kuni? You do remember me... right?"

The man before you looked like your lover but for some reason it was as if you were staring into the eyes of someone completely different.

"I'm afraid not. Perhaps it has simply been a long while? You must excuse me, but sometimes my memory isn't the best when I'm distracted."

You felt like your heart was tearing in half.

He didn't... know who you were?

What the FUCK did he do with that stupid tree!?

You try not to sound as upset as you actually are.

"no no. Something happened. You know me very well it's just..." Struggling to hold back tears, you reach out and take his hand in yours. Silently begging for him to remember you but behind those unusually big and bright indigo irises, you saw nothing of the man you once fell in love with.

"i don't know what happened... but it appears... you no longer..."

The young man suddenly squeezed your hand tightly as the mournful and helpless expression on your face almost seemed to trigger some instinctive reaction in him to comfort you.

"Hey, don't be upset please. You seem like a really nice lady. Perhaps if you just helped me rekindle my memory a little, I could easily recall our previous interactions."

You hesitated.

How?

Every meeting between you both previously had been heated and steamy.

What would you even -?

Suddenly you got an idea.

"I know right now you don't remember me. And because of that this might seem sudden but... please excuse me!"

And with that you quickly tilt your head upwards and press your lips against his.

Archons how it was EVERYTHING you were missing.

Amnesia stricken Kunikuzushi again seemed to act on instinct.

He didn't understand why you were doing this but...it felt so...nice.

He placed a gentle hand on the small of your back and pulled you a little closer as you continued to kiss him deeply now and hold his hand.

Finally after several minutes you pull away. He stares at you with flushed cheeks and wide eyes.

"we used to...do stuff like that?" He asked in an uncharacteristically innocent way.

You nod.

"yes. And much more."

"more?" Kuni's body relaxed against yours as he considered your word. He seemed oddly confused but the hardness between his legs spoke otherwise. Still, if he couldn't remember you, maybe this was wrong? Maybe you just needed to start slowly accepting that-

"could we do that... again please?" Kuni asked suddenly. Derailing your train of thought completely.

"mm hmm" you lean into him again and this time there's a little more confidence in his touch. You both had been standing somewhere outside in the avidiya forest and as Kuni quickly figured out that he was enjoying this, he slowly leaned back against a nearby tree and pulled you against him. His hands move cautiously from your back to your ass. Squeezing your cheeks a little as he rubbed his clothed erection against your now moistened panties underneath your skirt.

You broke the kiss for a second as you just hugged him for a little bit longer. And oddly enough he's okay with this. This was unlike the Kunikuzushi you knew. This man was...softer...kinder... and oh how his gentle touch was so new to you yet so good feeling all at once.

You felt like you were more than desirable for once.

You felt like you were loved.

"how could I forget this? I jus-" you give him a playful kiss on the cheek as you slowly lean back and distract him from ruining the moment by pulling off your top. His soft indigo eyes widened as he gazed at your soft and large breasts. And yet this new curious and awe stricken expression in them, though different, was getting you just as wet as the lustful look you had grown used to in them.

"don't worry about it. I'm not sure what happened to you but...I still love you very much Kuni. So please..." You gently bring his hand to cup one of your tits. He gives it a cautious squeeze.

"let's make new memories?"

Something inside him seemed to falter as Kuni clearly lost himself in the moment and began to explore you a little more. He wraps his arms around you and knocks you both to the ground before kissing you once more whilst grabbing your thighs and spreading your legs around him. He lay on top of you then.

His soft lips trailing from your mouth to your neck. You gasp a little as you feel him pinch and tug at one of your nipples ever so delicately. Teasing you before moving further down and latching onto one of your sensitive peaks with his mouth and gently swirling his tongue, making you cry out and squirm underneath him as he continued to fondle your other breast at the same time.

"Kuni... your tongue feels so good ~ I want more please ~" your lustful tone reaches his ears yet for a split second he seems to pause.

He wondered why you kept calling him that. That wasn't his name. Well technically he didn't have one. But at some point he did... and it wasn't Kuni or whatever. Was it perhaps a special nickname you once gave him or...?

"stop calling me that please."

You feel yourself freeze a little as he tries to continue.

Does he not remember his name either?

"is that... not your name anymore?"

"I have no memory of it. just call me by my old one."

"huh?"

The young man moves further down your body. Pulling your knees apart before gently pulling aside your panties and giving your wet slit a quick teasing lick.

"Kabukimono. Just call me Kabukimono."

You let out a soft moan as you feel him suddenly pull you against his face and bury his tongue deep within your aching cunt. You squeal and cry out as he laps at your sensitive inner walls and alternates between fucking you with his tongue and teasing your clit.

Your fingers tangle themselves in his dark indigo hair, your other hand digging into the dirt underneath you both as you desperately try to anchor yourself to something.

This wasn't your Kunikuzushi.

But fuck was he almost... better?

No no. That was an awful thought.

But the name must've been on your mind still because when you feel him slide a finger into your tight pussy next and curl against your sweet spot, you accidentally mess up and say it again.

"Kuni!" You whine. You look down and see a brief look of irritation across his face. Followed by something else unrecognizable. Jealousy?

He voice vibrates against your cunt. Sending shivers down your spine.

"I told you. Call me Kabukimono."

"sorry I just forgot."

The young man who looked like Kunikuzushi suddenly got a familiar mischievous look in his eyes as he suddenly zeroed in on your dripping sex.

Yet his voice sounded teasing and playful almost.

"I'll make you remember then."

Suddenly you feel his lips seal around your clit. He sucked on the bundle of nerves HARD causing you to scream as your back arched upwards and your eyes rolled back in your head.

He continued to lick and suckle your clit even as your juices filled his mouth and you were seeing stars. Forcing your legs to stay spread as you instinctively tried to close them against the delightful onslaught of pleasure by jerking your knees apart and holding them in place. Finally in a fit of desperation and desire, you cry out.

"Kabukimono! Oh fuck! Kabukimono please I think I'm going crazy!~"

"Say it again please~"

He groaned as he continued his assault of ecstasy on your now oversensitive clitty.

"Kabuki-ah! Kabukimono! Kabukimono!"

The insides of your cunt tighten as Kabukimono hums against your sex in approval as he brings you to the edge of another intense climax that you swore left you seeing white for a second.

After that, he slowly released his hold on you and came up to kiss you again. You felt your heart swell with adoration as you tasted yourself on his lips.

Reaching out to hold him close as you slowly take deep breaths and calm yourself down as he gently plays with your hair and holds you as well.

You two stay together like this for a bit longer. You still weren't entirely sure what happened to the man you knew before but this... Kabukimono...

You loved him.

And he loved you too.

You could feel it in just how tightly he embraced you and how softly he whispered gentle words of sweetness in your ear.

Finally after several long minutes of cuddling together, Kabukimono reluctantly gets up and tells you that he has somewhere important to be.

You ask what could be so important now of all times and he simply responds by explaining to you how he is currently doing some local work for this man who helped him during a storm and that he shouldn't be late as it would be rude considering how he was working as a means of repaying him. Apparently.

You bid Kabukimono farewell as he gives you one last kiss farewell and promises to return to you tomorrow.

Little did you know

He would return as promised.

But Scaramouche would be the one returning for round two.

Or Wanderer was it?

You get the point;)

[everythingseasoning]

How the AOT men love you (SFW & slight NSFW).. PT 1

MINORS: Please DNI. Further reading means you consent to reading everything here, though it's pretty vanilla tbh.

EREN - A bit rough around the edges regarding emotional intimacy. Don't get me wrong, he definitely will straight up tell you "I love you so much, y/n," -- he's not afraid of saying what he feels. However, because he isn't as reflective and insightful and calm as Armin is (Eren's a little more simple-minded), he isn't a guy who does fluffy stuff all the time. He's more about action and adventure -- always pulling you into the next great thing.

*NEEDS* you to be safe, and happy. He will only feel satisfied if you're doing okay. Man cares about you, more than anything else.

Oh .. oh, Eren is definitely very blunt, and stubborn. He sees things in his own way, and it's hard to convince him to back down on anything he's got his mind set to. However, the flip side of this, is that he is fiercely caring, and righteous. Will protect you at all costs, even for little things: Some as*hole at the grocery store cut you off in line and you almost fell to the ground? Eren has a hand on your back and waist, steadying you, before he storms up to the man with the DARKEST look of determined hatred. This man has ZERO chill. (and we love him for it).

You are the most important thing in the world to him. He loves you so intensely and passionately that you won't have a chance to ever doubt it.

Fluff 1) You and Eren like to go on walks/runs together. Sometimes you two have races. Eren always wins (the little b*tch--) or ends up slinging you across his shoulder while running, the biggest smile on both of your faces as you two enjoy the rush of being with each other, and life. Life with Eren is just so right, exciting, and full of good times.

Fluff 2) Just how many beautiful waterfalls have you seen with Eren? You've even hiked a purple-flower covered mountain with him! And you've both tried many wild fruits, from the strange oblong shaped ones to pretty yellow star shaped ones-- Usually you were the one to notice the fruit while Eren glanced giddily all around the forest canopy and ground. It was tradition that whenever you two discovered another fruit plant/tree, Eren opens up the Wild Fruits and Plants You Can Eat book, gifted to you by Armin ("So that Eren doesn't accidentally eat something poisonous.") Sometimes Eren is not as bouncy with energy when you two explore the world, and instead he will hold your hand as you two stroll casually, cuddling up on each other's warmth.

NSFW 1) Eren isn't afraid to just.. straight up ask you.. when he wants it. He will look you up and down, eyes full of hunger. "I want you. How 'bout you?" Whewwww. 😮‍💨

LEVI - ohh boy i have so much to say about this little dude...

Would go absolutely crazy and turn into a battle demon, if he saw the love of his life in danger. ...

If Levi somehow found the right somebody, and actually spent enough time with them to be in a relationship, he would NEED his partner to be safe. He will not risk losing you-- he won't. Not after Isabel and Farlan..not again. So if you're ever in danger, you will see an overpowered beast emerge from that man's body and soul.

Levi isn't the best at emotional intimacy, is very stiff when it comes to words of affirmation. He hadn't ever really thought about love. He never even thought he'd have the option to be safe physically, let alone be safe emotionally. --But when he does meet that person, they light up his life in ways that just stun him. They feel like a summer's glow. He will look 10 years younger with you by his side, will feel unprecedented relief whenever he goes back to you. Will scare all the cadets because he will have this stupid smile on his face whenever he sees you.

--But Levi is not used to being loved deeply. He wouldn't know what to DO with your love, and he'd definitely have trouble opening up and being vulnerable. Nonetheless, I do think he'd try; he has initiative to do well to you, and to give you everything he can give to you (starts off with him being your literal guardian demon, progresses into him becoming soft to you). It'd take time and effort for him to learn how to love you properly.

Fluff 1) In the beginning stages of your relationship, Levi would enjoy cleaning with you. He would find himself giving you commands to do more chores (with him).. because he -- wants to -- be with you -- so often??? (won't ever never admit this).

NSFW 1) Levi is a v*rgin. Yes. Yes he (most likely) is. He never met the right person before you, so he never had a chance/time to indulge in s*x. The first time you and Levi have s*x, Levi will have his mouth CLAMPED shut-- trying not to make a noise, trying to control his expressions of pleasure. You'll have to teach him/encourage him to just let go lol.

NSFW 2) Levi wanted to have s*x with you for so damn long cause he's soooo attracted to you, but he will not initiate it LOLLLL. He just doesn't know HOW to ask for that. You had to feel up on him and really let him know you wanted it (breathy whispers and requests), before he FINALLY took the reigns and pinned you against the wall, kissing you hard before taking you to the bedroom~~!!

Also, he's a fast learner. (Imagine with that what you will 🥵).

Fluff 3) & After you two finish, he will clean you up immediately. But after that he won't let you go. Will hold you in a hug for an eternity. Is addicted to your warmth and the love/care you two give to each other.

ARMIN - OH MY GOD NO BECAUSE - i'm so in love with this man - oKAYYY: Armin is a very thoughtful, perceptive, and practical lover. You would feel *so safe* around him, at ease, and like you can be your full self. He's very accepting.

Armin is also going to *look out for you.* He is insanely analytically accurate. He has a clear, reassuring, and gentle energy about him. You know that with Armin, you'll be protected from any new obstacle or harm's way.

You and Armin would see the world for fun. Armin is somebody who feels fascinated with exploring the world, and with learning. He'd probably want a partner who is brave. He'd probably want somebody whose actions or way of doing life, amaze him. He would be so f*cking blushy around you, stuttering and all, whenever you smile so brightly at him -- you're like the sun to him.

Armin *would die for you.* He practically died already, for Eren & the mission. Armin wouldn't hesitate to give himself up, because that's how deep and true his love is for you. (And you genuinely get mad at him for this... but neither of you will budge-- you'd both die for each other).

Fluff 1) You and Armin like to read together :'). Armin will have red blush dusted across his cheeks, and his eyes will be shining as he talks excitedly, imagining all the things the book talks about. You adore it.

Fluff 2) You tell Armin you had a rough day, and he will set up a bath for you. While you bathe in the dark with candles, Armin will be in the kitchen with stew or soup simmering on the stove, before he quietly leaves the house: He will personally scour the bookstore in order to find a book that he thinks will make you smile-- or a book you two will both enjoy reading together/discussing together. Literally this man is like light okay. When you come out from the shower he will be there with a fresh, steaming bowl of stew and a dessert he picked up from the store. You two will eat together and then read a book, cozily cuddling on the couch.. before things get s*xy.

NSFW 1) This man is a *PLEASURER* -- Everything will be gentle, but imbued with such strong love for YOU. Will worship your body. Armin will feel like the luckiest man alive. He sees all your goodness, admires you, and is huge on praising you. Also he moans a lot, even if it's just a soft one that escapes him. Not sorry.

NSFW 2) For my switches/d0ms: You care deeply for Armin, and you also want to see his face when he's a writhing mess-- Sometimes you'll tie him up, and he will... oh he will be so helpless and flustered. You will be giving him all the sensation and he will *love it so much.*

REINER - Somebody come get yo man TT!! Reiner is a f*cking sweet, really good guy. Would protect you and your children (if you have them)-- with EVERYTHING he has -- from difficult, unfair situations (like what he was put through). But, Reiner also probably would want somebody who is strong, because strength means you can protect yourself, and change the world -- Strength is a necessary trait for survival, and he is attracted towards people who are able to stay efficient and alive.

Reiner wants a morally beautiful/morally pure hearted partner. Definitely wants a good person (I mean... Him and Historia in Season, what was is, 2? --speaks for itself). AND I MEANNN Reiner has such a soft heart-- he literally cracked psychologically because he couldn't handle the trauma of being a double agent in a cruel world-- so his pure heart seeks out another pure heart <3

Reiner would ADORE relaxation time with you! He wants the soft fluff, and the soulful moments, like laying together under the stars-- being safe, peaceful, *free.* Reiner has had the burden of war and the Armored Titan like a boulder on his shoulders for ... as long as he can remember. When you're both cozied up together, hands interlaced under the big night sky, Reiner's heart will have bursted and melted all throughout his body. He hasn't ever felt freedom before-- until you. (don't mind me f*cking sobbing right now. he deserves the world!!)

Fluff 1) You and Reiner sometimes do typical, fluffy couple stuff, like go to parks and have picnics, or going to the aquarium, or baking together. Reiner loves the domestic life with you, and you will always catch him gazing dreamily at you, as if he's not sure you're really his. Are you actually right there in front of him? How did he get this lucky? ..Man short circuits a lot around you.

Will definitely be so caught up in his smittenness for you that when you drop the bread dough on the ground and start getting upset/sad, he will just be staring at you like o// //o, not even realizing what happened.

NSFW: I honestly haven't thought about this but I will update this post when I do have some accurate guess on what Reiner in the bedroom is like-- (you can comment if you wanna be tagged for when I do finish this post/ make part two)

𐡘 \

Don't forget to leave a like, or to comment/follow if you want!! Comment to be tagged in part 2! (Jean, Eld, Marco, Bertholt, Connie, Porco, Zeke, etc etc) Feel free to comment! I'd LOVE to hear y'all's thoughts on this post <3! Hope ur all okay.

[joejhang]

nathaniel wesninski vs neil abram josten

something that fascinates me abt the aftg books is the nathaniel vs neil dichotomy. so i'm gonna analyse and dissect it like a completely normal and fine person. spoilers ahead !!! continue at ur own risk

i feel like the fandom has the wrong idea abt nathaniel and neil; they aren't foils, they're mirrors. they're a lot more similar than i think the fandom likes to acknowledge. and i actually don't think neil himself has too much of a problem with that.

allow me to elaborate. neil isn't scared of nathaniel, and nor is he very sensitive about his father. he actually references his father sometimes as a defence mechanism ("you think i'm afraid of your knife? i'm the butcher's son.") his feelings towards his father are, i'd say, deep-rooted fear and resentment. this has to extend somewhat to nathaniel, given how deeply entwined nathaniel wesninski is with both the butcher (neil's childhood abuser, the one person he truly fears) and mary hatford (also one of neil's abusers imo but their relationship is a lot more complex), both of whom neil says he doesn't want to become like. but he also says it might be inevitable that he is a little bit like them anyway (he's right).

i think this is how the fandom differentiates between nathaniel and neil; nathaniel is cold-blooded, ruthless, analytical, a criminal mastermind. nathaniel wesninski sealed the deal for his own survival with ichirou moriyama. nathaniel wesninski endured the torturous conditions in the baltimore house. nathaniel wesninski watched the butcher of baltimore brutally murder a man in front of him at ten years old in castle evermore. nathaniel wesninski followed his mother on the run for eight years, twenty-two cities, sixteen countries and a dozen fake identities. nathaniel wesninski watched as his mother left bodies and sacrifices in their wake for their own survival. nathaniel wesninski orders hits on the people who have hurt the people he loves. more than once, others in the series note that neil will always be nathaniel wesninski at heart (ichirou, jean) and neil doesn't correct them.

neil josten, on the other hand, is scrappy and messy and impulsive. neil josten has sharply honed survival instincts that he throws away at the first chance of getting to live a real life. neil josten chose to stay at palmetto state university with the full knowledge that he would get himself and many others killed. neil josten clocked r*ko's shit on live tv and at the fall banquet. neil josten trusted a five foot nothing goalkeeper with his life for a year. neil josten saw the opportunity to do what he loved, even if it would kill him, and he took it. neil josten isn't afraid to run his mouth, be it to a teammate who overstepped or a reporter broadcasting on national tv. neil josten doesn't think about the past or the future but lives in the moment, all consequences be damned. neil josten gets to know and starts to care about the foxes even though he knows he shouldn't.

in short; nathaniel wesninski is ice all the way through, unapologetically the butcher and the bird's son, and neil josten is all fire, a young man and a runaway who chose living over survival and friends (family) over safety.

that's the dichotomy, but i actually think people don't realise that they're two sides of the same coin. i don't mean like "neil is nathaniel is nathan" i mean like neil chose to be neil josten, with full knowledge and agency, but that doesn't change that he was nathaniel first. in the fandom's declawing of neil, they forget that he's still the butcher's son, and he isn't afraid to show his teeth.

"neil josten" doesn't exist on his own. he is a product of neil's time with the foxes. neil says himself, at the beginning of the series, neil josten wasn't a person, just another identity that could be discarded at the drop of a hat. it was the foxes that made "neil josten" a real person. they pulled out from that facade the parts of neil that "no disguise could change". neil's character arc from the scared nobody at the beginning of tfc to the brave and happy young man at the end of tkm wouldn't have ever happened without the foxes' influence on his life. that pivotal narration change from neil to nathaniel in tkm is in a sense, neil shielding the foxes and the person he was around them from the cruel reality of his past. the identity of "nathaniel wesninski" is real and undeniable, already bloodstained from his brutal childhood, and untouched by the foxes, and so can't really be ruined by his father's hand (sweet mourning lamb, there is nothing you can do, it has already been done). everything that happened in baltimore, from the legal name change to neil and andrew's conversation in the car ("can i really be neil again?" "i told neil to stay. leave nathaniel buried in baltimore with his father.") is more of a decision to choose a new life than it is a new identity. "can i really be neil again?" is neil asking if he's really escaped his past and he can truly stay with the foxes and be who he was around them freely. and andrew's "leave nathaniel buried in baltimore with his father" is more of an assurance to let neil's bloody past go in favour for a new and better life.

note: "let go" does not mean forget or disregard or lose. it just means to accept it but move on. this is important i promise.

after that, neil is able to continue freely in his life. wait no he's not. ichirou comes to find him. right.

the neil and ichirou conversation is one of the most interesting in the series. it says a lot more about neil's character than people seem to notice. neil actively "switches" into the persona of nathaniel wesninski specifically for that conversation. something about how every word has to be true and it has to be the biggest lie he's ever told. neil's switch to nathaniel is a little jarring and a little uncanny. the way he speaks is pure business, coldly rational and disconcertingly subservient to ichirou (disconcerting because of how adamantly neil refused to submit to r*ko and testuji and even his father's people). but it's interesting because it's still neil josten speaking. the narration doesn't change, and the way neil talks is still very much himself, just honed and polished to suit the man ichirou thinks he's speaking to. ichirou wasn't looking for neil abram josten, starting striker for the psu foxes, he was looking for nathaniel wesninski, the only son of the butcher of baltimore. neil knew this, and knew he had a part to play and he plays it so easily it actually fucking works. he isn't even afraid of ichirou. everything he says and does in that scene is careful and thought-out and logic-based, but there is no fear. all of neil's fear in the aftg series quite literally is caused by his father, and can always be traced back to him. since nathan is dead at this point, neil isn't fearful of ichirou, just cautious.

the narration change in tsc is also notable. jean thinks of neil as nathaniel wesninski until the foxes beat the ravens and r*ko dies. this is significant because the idea of "nathaniel wesninski" is also deeply entwined with the perfect court. if neil had signed with the ravens he would've been nathaniel wesninski (03) not neil josten. but once r*ko is dead and once tetsuji steps down, the perfect court no longer exists, and neither does the phantom partner jean was clinging to all these years. there is no nathaniel wesninski (03), no forever partner for jean, even though he has nathaniel's auburn hair and ice-blue eyes and cruel smile, he doesn't have the mark of the perfect court anymore and r*ko and tetsuji aren't around to reinforce that delusion so for jean, now there is only neil josten.

still, he also says later on that neil is a wesninski at heart. neil doesn't really take this personally, from what we can tell. killing a rapist isn't something particular to neil or nathaniel, he would do it whether he was neil abram josten or nathaniel wesninski. but the method, the subtlety, writing the numbers on a napkin, handing them to his mobster uncle, that is such a nathaniel-characteristic thing to do that jean comments on it. neil might have problems with wearing his father's face and his father's smile, but he never denies the truth that he is a little like his father (referencing his hot temper), and he isn't hurt or offended by jean's comment.

this post is getting way too fucking long, even for me, so i won't go into the "abram" of it all, but just know there's something to be said about that, too. i just think the fandom takes the whole "leave nathaniel buried in baltimore" thing a little too literally. nathaniel isn't gone for good, he will always be a part of neil, but neil's accepted that and moved on. he's living his best life, doing what he loves with people he loves, and even tho he does act a little bit like a wesninski at times, he's come to terms with who he is and who he chose to be: neil abram josten.

[ckret2]

Ages ago I made a post about what Ford thinks about Bill (in a billford context), and I've had an infodump on what Bill thinks about Ford floating on discord for months, and an ask finally prompted me to post it, so here ya go:

If asked why he likes Ford, Bill himself claims that Ford overthinks everything, but in such fun, interesting ways, and Bill likes the way Ford thinks about things.

But really, Bill overthinks everything too; it's just he overthinks social things. He's always calculating how to persuade, control, manipulate people. He never has a conversation that isn't a chess game, it's exhausting and he won't even admit it's exhausting. When's the last time his top priorities weren't either "how do I convince some sucker to make a portal" or "ugggh I'm so SICK of the PORTAL I'm gonna THROW A PARTY and NOT THINK AT ALL"

Whereas Ford is guy who'd hear someone say something incorrect and bluntly go "no you're wrong" and accidentally offend the hell out of them because he's SO excited to share this fantastic information they don't know. The social world DOES NOT EXIST for him until he's reminded of it.

And so he's free to turn all his brainpower instead to. Like. The environmental impact of barf fairies on fern fertilizer or whatever.

Bill knows Everything™ but he's gotten tired of doing anything with that knowledge. They're all discrete points of information to him. He doesn't have time to muse over things, he's got an inventor to manipulate at 11pm and then a party to get to at midnight. He's never once in his life thought about the impact of barf fairies on the local flora. But he does happen to know the plants in that part of the woods are more acid-resistant and wow is that why???? He's never even thought to think about that before. Thousand year mystery that Bill didn't even notice has been solved.

(On the other hand "Ford doesn't think to think about the intricacies of social interaction" is also part of what makes him so easy to manipulate, he's so much more inclined to just accept at face value a friendly offer of assistance on a big academic project. Sure Bill's helping for the sake of scientific advancement in and of itself, why wouldn't he?)

Bill wants to just, fling random facts at Ford and see if he can think up connections between them. Go nerd boy go nerd boy go

"... So there you have it Ford, that's the problem you'll have to overcome with adapting alien machinery to human fuel sources, now I wanna hear YOUR thoughts on how to overcome that problem." "Well—" talks in an uninterrupted stream that by thirty minutes in has drifted over to the history of kerosene production, which he read an interesting book about between semesters in college— "... I've gotten off topic, haven't I?" "No no, I think you're on to something. This is how brainstorming works, free association of concepts. Keep going."

Ford in the morning: "... oh no I didn't let my muse get a word in edgewise for the rest of the dream, i didn't bore him did I?" Bill: "damn, I never noticed the patent process for hurricane lamps was so contentious. There's little dramas everywhere"

When things are going well, their relationship is,

Ford: "I just wanna hear Bill teach me things about the multiverse forever."

Bill: "I just wanna hear Ford think deeply on any topic that crosses his mind forever."

Both of them when they're in peak harmony: excitedly jabbering at each other at 200 words per minute about the stupidest topic you've ever heard, but you'd need a phd in at least two fields to comprehend it

That's love!!!

Ford, having historically been socially shamed: "... am I being weird?"

Bill: "💕❤️💓yeah❣️💖❤️‍🔥"

Sometimes I think about Bill watching Ford in his sleep and being in awe at this human-shaped genius: you with your beautiful electric mind, packed into this soft flawed uneven body. one would never know it from the outside—but you're in there. This genius with a mind like a galaxy. ... and he's like, growing hair and stuff. wild.

[mustardyellowsunshine]

In today's episode of Shut Up Robin, Nobody Cares:

InuKag bickering is so good because it's deeply telling of how comfortable InuYasha and Kagome are with each other at almost every stage of their relationship.

For starters, contrary to seemingly popular belief, arguing does not inherently signal dysfunction. It can sometimes signal the opposite: it demonstrates a level of intimacy and trust in your relationship that you are able to openly disagree with your loved one. You are not afraid of conflict because you know it won't break the relationship. In my experience, at least, it's shaky relationships that avoid conflict at all costs. When there's not enough emotional security with each other to openly disagree without fear/anxiety, open conflict never happens. That's why "arguing like an old married couple" is a cliché: it's the people who've built trust and security who will bicker like that.

I mean, don't get me wrong, it doesn't feel great to be in conflict with a loved one, even in a secure relationship. But being able to navigate conflict together in a way that eventually leads toward understanding and compromise is the sign of a strong relationship. Arguing is often a step in that process.

Which is why I find InuKag arguments absolutely, lip-smackingly delicious.

When they first meet, their arguments have the distinct flavor of, "I don't like you and I don't care what you think about me." Which is an excellent vintage tbh, full-bodied flavor with refreshing tartness. 👌👌 There's something so intrinsically entertaining about watching early-series InuKag butt heads, all the while knowing they eventually get married. And because early-series InuKag doesn't especially care about the other person's opinion of them, they don't hold back: there's no politeness barrier between them, there's no equivocating or filtering. They just have at it. They're not afraid to be themselves around each other, even when they dislike each other.

Then when their friendship begins to form—stage two InuKag 😁—their bond is forged from the two-pronged fire of 1) having each other's backs in life-or-death situations, and 2) experiencing the humdrum quotidian moments that come with traveling together all day, every day for long stretches of time. I've talked about this before, but I love how they know all the dumb little things about each other that you only learn from prolonged proximity: they know the timbre of each other's snores at night; they know how long the other can go without food before hangry-ness rears its head; they know which posture signals irritation or exhaustion, which facial expression signals daydreaming contemplation or a playful mood; they know which jokes will get a laugh and which insults will get the sharpest glances; the little intimacies abound!

By the friendship stage, InuKag bickering takes on a slightly different flavor. There's still that unfiltered, no-holds-barred vibe about them (because they're so used to being blunt with each other), but it also has the tenor of easy familiarity. Friends falling into the same low stakes argument they've had a hundred times already. There's not often any real heat or tension to the bickering, it's more like rote muscle memory. And when they do have real arguments, with real tension and emotional stakes?? It's delicious precisely because there are emotional stakes now! Goodbye, "I don't care what you think about me," hello, "I care so much what you think and I hate it and you're going to hear about it." It's still arguing InuKag, but with different emotional fuel sparking the arguments. Now there's affection and trust underpinning their unfiltered way with each other. It's mmm mmm good! I can eat it up all day.

And as the series progresses, and InuKag begin to develop obvious romantic interest in each other—stage three InuKag, yes it's terminal—the flavor of the arguments gets deeper because now those emotional stakes? They're even higher. And yet despite the higher stakes and the messy complications, they're still not afraid to butt heads. They're not afraid to be blunt and hash things out. I love this example of InuYasha's hack-and-slash style of conflict resolution. If there's a wall between him and resolving the tension, he'll just punch his way through it. 😂 Another favorite of mine is this banger scene where Kagome bluntly calls InuYasha out on his jealousy.

But probably my favorite stage three InuKag fight scene is this one, from chapter 310:

(Full scene here.)

Man, it's so good! Kagome—after taking pains to save Kikyo, who then essentially taunts her for it—starts to feel angry and resentful and then wallops InuYasha with those feelings. (Before any haters pipe in: characters need to make mistakes sometimes. This is one such occasion. Let the 15-year-old girl character make a mistake ffs.) And what does InuYasha do? He sticks around so they can hash it out. The best panels in this chapter are Kagome thinking, "He probably hates me now," only for her to look up and see him right beside her. He can handle her mistakes and flaws, because he knows Kagome. They've spent 300 chapters building trust in each other, and we see the fruit of that here. InuYasha knows very well that Kagome cares for him—cares so much that she's risked her life for him many times over by now, and cares so much that she just saved her own romantic rival partly for InuYasha's sake (but largely because she's just a good person). I think that's why he handles this moment with pretty good composure. He knows Kagome doesn't actually hate him, briefly hurtful as that comment surely was. So he waits until she's processed her feelings a bit more, and they talk it out. (While we're here: I really like that he's sitting close to her but is facing away from her, like he's trying to give her the space/privacy she needs to process her feelings without actually leaving her alone... ugh I love it.)

Notice how, even in the midst of this fight, they start checking in with each other, putting the other person's interest before their own. Kagome sincerely urges InuYasha not to "hold back," the subtext of which reads to me: "Don't let my outburst tie you down, please do what you need to do." InuYasha responds in kind (his subtext reads to me: "Be honest, don't just put on a brave face for me") and also reassures Kagome's underlying anxiety. When he says, "You saved Kikyo, right? Then she'll be fine, I'm not going after her," he's speaking directly to the source of Kagome's insecurity—he's telling her in no uncertain terms that concern for Kikyo's safety was his only motive for seeking her out. Now that he knows Kikyo has been healed and isn't in imminent danger, he's not going after her. Again, he is intentionally addressing what he knows to be the source of Kagome's outburst when he says, "You healed Kikyo? Then I don't need to see her." To me, his message is pretty clear: "I wasn't looking for Kikyo for the reasons you think."

Like! Look at them! Openly and honestly communicating! Messily sharing their feelings! Resolving conflict and talking shit out! They've come so far. 🥹

These stage three InuKag fights feel different than their early-series fights, and they should! InuKag have built trust and love, but with that love comes vulnerability. It's the people we love who have the power to hurt us most. So even while InuKag have fundamental trust in each other, they're both aware that their feelings come with greater potential to hurt each other. And watching them navigate that tension and that duality together? MMM MMM GOOD.

Like truly, InuKag fights at every stage of their relationship are my favorite thing, it's all such good food.

[lady-of-endless]

Ghiaccio x reader romantic headcanons (SFW+NSFW)

Author's Note: I'm so soft after this, it's pathetic. You voted for this to get posted first so here it is. Sorry that it's all over the place but so is my heart. Hope you will enjoy it! Warning: longer than my usual posts because I love him.

Other general and random headcanons are here.

(SFW)

- He doesn't have a type, he doesn't care if you're a ray of sunshine or a badass. All he cares about is trust and if you can stick with him and his harsh exterior when everything goes wrong. However, if you are also a Passione assassin like him, things will go more smoothly than having feelings for some outside of the mafia. He already thinks that having feelings for someone is a double-edged blade because of his occupation but it would be even worse if you're not in Passione as it can endanger both of you more.

- Ghiaccio generally feels a lot. He goes through many emotions and thoughts at once, and that's why he needs to lash out so often. But when it comes to feelings about you, they're so contradicting that he can't even get rid of them by letting them out at once. For example, he rolls his eyes at your antics and then the next minute he stares at your smile like it's the cure for anything in this world. You're both the bane of his existence and his personalized paradise. Ghiaccio isn't the type to be confused about his feelings, contrary to the general belief, he knows the meaning of his feelings. However, he prefers not to think about why he wants your presence, as it might trigger something he knows exists deep inside him. A complicated feeling.

- You will have to be the first one to confess. When you do, Ghiaccio's whole body freezes (and not because of his Stand). He stares at you in disbelief and a slight hint of terror crosses his eyes. Why terror? Because he realizes that he was falling for you too for long before. He craves this kind of happiness but he is also scared of it. He lets your words sink in for a while.

"Say it again..." He demands, staring at you.

- He loves that you can stand up against him when he teases you as a form of affection he's comfortable with but he can't get rid of a constant thought from the back of his mind. The thought that one day, his words would hurt you, that one day you'll get sick of him being like that.

- Ghiaccio doesn't fall in love easily but when he reaches that point, his intensity is directed to this new feeling. Expect his love to be intense but profound and honest. He didn't get the chance to care for someone so deeply and he wants to do it right.

- If you ever get severely injured and you're recovering, no one will get him to leave your bedside. When he first finds you like that, he will shake you by the shoulders, calling out your name with palpable despair in his tone. He will stay by your side constantly, demanding more coffee from Melone and a break from any mission from Risotto, only to watch over you. It's unhealthy and he will deny everything once you get better. The thought of losing the one who accepts, understands, and loves him, makes him sick with worry.

- Typical ice meets fire trope, but not as you think. Ghiaccio is all about ice, even his name means that, sure, but he has fire inside of him that keeps him going, keeps him on the edge every time. It's a fire that matches your calmness which is grounding for him. Sometimes, the roles switch, so there will always be a contrast.

- Ghiaccio is extremely honest and it's both a blessing and a curse. Sometimes this will spark some arguments and sometimes it will fix them by being honest about his thoughts. His words are straightforward and his intentions are clear. He's not trying to be subtle and he's not trying to hide anything.

- Ghiaccio is not afraid of showing affection, he's not a coward, but he's just learning how to express it more efficiently. He's analytical and this applies to gestures of affection as well, he'll take his time to observe what you like the most and what you don't. Please be grateful for that.

- However, whatever you might like, his preferred love language is banter and physical touch, in private. He is a blunt man, but that doesn't mean he's extroverted to have words of affirmation as a love language. Don't expect compliments from him but don't be surprised when he encourages you in a way that might come off as intense.

You might be frowning in the mirror, fixing your looks, and he'll come from behind you to tell you in an annoyed tone

"You're already pretty as hell stop fussing about it for fucks sake." and then roll his eyes and give you a kiss on the forehead.

But that's it, don't expect more words from him. Ghiaccio is also touch-starved because no one dared get close enough to him to touch him affectionately so when you do, he finds himself wanting more. But he's also curious about how it feels to touch someone like that and that's how it starts. He discovers that he enjoys giving it more, the feeling, your reactions, and everything about it.

- How do others see it? Many don't see a change in his usual behavior besides the fact that he always glances over you for many reasons. Risotto is presenting a mission? Ghiaccio looks at you for a reaction. Are you fighting a target? His eyes are on you. You do your usual stuff around? He's observing you. Are you not feeling well? His eyes follow you until you two are alone and he asks what's wrong. In conclusion, he gets more thoughtful.

(NSFW)

- Ghiaccio is quick to discover that getting intimate with you clears his mind and gets him sharper. Letting out his strongest and boldest emotions with you, the one he trusts the most and loves, clears his mind. It's just an observation, he already enjoys getting physical with you too much to care for other benefits.

- He's touch-starved, so he's relatively easy to fluster and he hates that. It doesn't take a lot for you to turn him on. One day, you notice that the lenses of his glasses are a bit dirty and feel bold enough to do something about it. If you decide to just take them off without warning and wipe the lenses casually like nothing happened, he's shocked. This audacity of yours gets him bewitched. So, Ghiaccio is a simple man regarding turn-ons, just show him that you care about those little things about him and show some willingness to take risks and he's done.

- His hair is unexpectedly sensitive. Play with his curls and it will make him shiver. He'll become all yours in that moment.

- Despite what everyone thinks, he'll never accept letting his anger out on you in bed. But that doesn't mean that his mannerisms will be soft either. With Ghiaccio, is hard to predict how it will go. Most of the time it will be rough but also slow and deep.

- He's a genuine switch but leading to dom. He is fine with you taking the lead from time to time but having control over you is much more appealing. He enjoys being a brat tamer but he's also a whining brat.

- He has a ridiculously high stamina. Seriously, where does he store all this strength? He's also motivated. Seeing you frowning a bit when you move your legs the next day is stroking his ego.

- So, because Ghiaccio is intense in bed too, aftercare is a must. Aftercare consists of him putting your pieces back together by throwing a blanket over you, making you tea, and holding you to his chest as he stares at the ceiling (don't worry, it's a good sign, you blew him away). However, shortly after that, he's knocked out, getting the best sleep of his life.

- He doesn't leave marks on purpose but he just can't help it. Surprising enough, he's not as possessive as you'd expect, to leave marks to show that you're his. No. Ghiaccio just enjoys hearing your gasp coming from the bathroom as you notice the aftermath of his desire. He smirks to himself like a brat.

He might be a fan of quickies and he's also the one to come up with the idea. After the session, he goes on with whatever he had to get done like he hadn't destroyed you earlier. It's both hot and annoying.

- Vocal, of course, a lot of grunting, and growling. It goes hand in hand with his primal tendencies. You'll get used to the consensual biting, hair-pulling, pushing down. He lives for raw passion when it gets too much to handle.

- Any kinks? Temperature play is something you already expect him to enjoy. For him, it's about how ice - something that has been in his life for years since he got his Stand, meets an element of you - your warm skin. Besides your reactions, he is hypnotized by how the heat of your skin melts the ice and how dewy it looks afterward. Other than that he's not very experimental because his almost aggressive passion is enough.

- Of course, he takes off his glasses but he hates that because his point of view gets blurry, and can't enjoy your details. However, you can't be able to stop him from wearing them when you're on top. That's a sight he needs to see clearly.

[cherry-bomb-00]

The brothers react to an MC who has small spasms when they sleeps deeply

A curious fact about humans is that when we sleep deeply, we get small spasms, which is the brain sending electrical waves to keep the body alive, since we sleep so deeply the brain believes that is sign of death, that's why the waves. So it would be curious how our beloved demons react to MC when they has those little spasms while sleep together.

Big Brothers edition part 1/??

Lucifer

The first time you had those little spasms, it was in the middle of the night, while you were sleeping next to Lucy, he felt something move sporadically, in this case, it was you, the first few times, he ignored it to continue sleeping, but It was already difficult to ignore it, then he woke up and stared at you, after a few minutes, your body moves due to spasms, he became alert, is something wrong with you? you are sick? this is normal? but after a few minutes, Lucifer woke you up. -Huh? Lucy? - You said sleepily - Are you okay? You had some spasms while you were sleeping- Lucy said in a worried and serious tone.

The moment you heard that, you stayed silent for a moment and then laughed a little, to tell him that you're fine and that sometimes happens when a human falls into a deep sleep, and that it doesn't hurt if it's not frequent, after I'll explain everything. , he sighs although he still worries, sometimes it seems sweet to him that this happens, at least this way he knows that you are alive with him.

Mammon

oh…man, as soon as he felt that he twitched he became very alert, panicked, thinking that there was something wrong with you, then he didn't hesitate to wake you up a little abruptly.-Human! are you OK? Answer meeee - says a worried Mammon while shaking you, and you had to calm him down, poor boy, he looked nervous, you told him that you were fine, that it was normal when a human sleeps deeply, obviously you had to explain everything, although the explanation was a bit ..worrying for him, so you hugged him to tell him that you were fine and not to worry- at least it's okay…I don't want to lose you again- he said in a hoarse whisper while they were hugging, you sigh and snuggle, Mammon Keep it close to your chest.

You don't bother him when there are times when you have little spasms as you sleep, that reminds him that you are still with him and that you are still alive, and it is also adorable to see you sleeping so peacefully and calmly, and don't mention what happened the previous night, because if you do that, Mammon will enter his tsundere state and deny everything with a big blush and a small stutter.

Leviathan

It is easier for Levi to detect when you have small spasms while he is sleeping deeply, since you both sleep in a bathtub, you sleep on top of Levi, so when he feels that you move sporadically, he wakes up scared, just like Mammon, he also wakes up. He panics, and wakes you up immediately, he looks at you and checks if you are okay with his expression as if he were going to cry, you quickly comfort him and explain everything to him when he is calm. -ohh…that explains a lot, although it scares me a little, still, it's good to know that it's not because of me or something… because I want to feel your warmth…- Levi finishes saying with a big blush while he looks at you

After that they go back to sleep. It doesn't bother Levi but sometimes he gets scared if that happens, even so, he knows that you can't control it, although that also gives him the reminder that he is not alone and that you are with him.

[ah0minecchi]

IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?!♥︎ megumi f. x reader

Ꮺ in which meeting megumi fushiguro was a complete, but sweet, sweet chaos . . .

cw: angsty af, mentions of intimacy, use of alcohol if u squint

NOW PLAYING! 💿 cherry waves - deftones

<𝟑.𖥔 ݁ ˖

dear megumi:

sometimes i wish i could tear apart this heart of mine, that’s apparently too big for my body. i wish i could just shut down everything you were and are for me. i wish i could turn off everything you light up in me. ever since the beginning…

[ ♥︎ ]

“so you’re fushiguro… yuuji talks a lot about you.” i looked at him, finally getting to meet my best friend’s best friend… wow. “just call him megumi, y’all are basically indirect friends at this point.” yuuji laughed, which i followed, looking at the raven haired boy for his approval.

“call me what you like.” megumi responded nonchalantly.

[ ♥︎ ]

i’ve been wondering nonstop what the fuck i did wrong. did i not deserve you? wasn’t i good enough? all those times i dropped everything just to run after you, all those times i promised you the whole world… weren’t they enough? weren’t you tired? of having me chase you around all day? did it bore you? having someone care so deeply about you, but not feeling the same about them?

i don’t think you can even imagine how it feels… cause, fuck.. has anyone ever said ‘no’ to you? have you ever wanted to pursue something that doesn't want you until it suffocates?

it hurts. it really fucking hurts.

[ ♥︎ ]

“are you at the party yet?” megumi asked through his phone, reaching my ear. “yeaaahhhh, im kinda drunk to be honest hahaha… but it’s real fun in here! you should come… pleeeaaasee.” there were a few seconds of silence until megumi broke it, shoting straight to my heart in the process.

“i don’t know how the fuck i’ll get there… but i will get there.” he hung up, leaving me excitedly waiting for him as i told all of our friends he was attending.

[ ♥︎ ]

that one night you kissed me, did i mean anything to you? cause at that very moment, to me, you were the whole world. my whole world. that one night i ended up tangled in your sheets. was i just another one on the list? cause to me, it was the very first time i felt cared about. you showed me the love i never thought i’d deserve.

could i even call it love?

i think you’d just call it lust.

[ ♥︎ ]

“how is yuuji going to find out about this?” i asked megumi as i ruffled his bed hair. “i think we should just tell him… but not now.” he answered as he scanned every detail on my face.

[ ♥︎ ]

i wish i knew what you meant by that. all the while i wanted to keep you as a promise, you just wanted to keep me as a secret. i wish nothing had ever happened, not because i regret it, nor did i not love it for a moment, but because i don't want to feel like this anymore. not with you.

i tried. i tried to be your friend. leave everything behind and continue as if nothing had happened. but the mere idea of ​​thinking that I was never for you what you were for me is enough to make my heart ache.

maybe we live in a world full of superficialities, empty, where everything is momentary pleasures, satisfyingly chaotic, and pleasantly disposable. i never want to fall like this again. i don't want to dream so high again. i don't want to be so naive again.

but i can’t help it when it’s you.

[ ♥︎ ]

“i’m not ready for anything, with anyone…” he sated as tears started rolling down my face. why? why’d you give me a taste of some love you couldn’t give me? or didn’t want to give me…

[ ♥︎ ]

weeks passed, and i started to accept the fact that it was not gonna happen. i started seeing someone else.

maybe you didn’t want to have me, but you definitely didn’t want to lose me…

[ ♥︎ ]

“you coming y/n? we gonna go grab ice cream or sum.” yuuji asked turning back to look at me. i couldn’t tear my gaze away from my phone, but i didn’t fail to notice how megumi looked at me.

“uhmm actually, go ahead without me guys! i’ll hang out with yuta later…” i commented as i blushed lightly. “OOOOOO Y/N’s GOT A DATEEE” yuuji joked.

megumi didn’t say a word until i left.

[ ♥︎ ]

next day, everything changed. that kiss you stole from me… i wish i could have it back.

you told me you were ready, that you wanted this. that you wanted me.

you made fall all over again. but deeper this time. you tricked me into your game once again. i mistook your lies for a future, with sins and sweet promises.

friday. i wanted to confront you about it.

and you tore it all apart. again.

i am so fucking greedy, and i don't want to let something i love die, even though i know i will never have it.

i’d fucking love to be your friend. i’d fucking love to pretend that it doesn't burn my skin to want to hug you and not be able to do so. i’d love not to want to know everything about you.

i wish i didn’t want to be your whole world.

i don't know why you hurt this much. i barely know you, and yet, i can't imagine a life without you. i have never had the courage to face what i truly feel. cause it's too soon, cause it would only complicate everything, or just because you don't want to hear it.

but i love you, megumi.

i wish it wasn’t like that. none of this.

yours truly.

y/n

a/n: i wish i could lie to y’all and say this wasn’t based on a personal experience but haha guess what…

AND SORRY FOR THE ANGST I LITERALLY CANNOT WRITE HAPPY SHIT WTF

LIKES, COMMENTS & REBLOGS are very much appreciated ♪( ´θ｀)ノtysm for reading !! <3

[obeymematches]

very fluffy and in depth hcs of a mc that basically lives off of cuddles? if you dont wanna do all of them can you only do lucifer, mammon, beel & diavolo? its fine if you dont wanna write this request tho! <3

i just need to snuggle up with them and maybe receive a forehead kiss yknow?

(also its def not bc of their man boobs wdym..)

thank you baby for sending in this ask, writing it cleared my skin and watered my plants- 💐🌸🌻

also your taste in men is very good 💯💯💯

this just teeth rotting fluff. GN MC.

❤️Cuddling HCs❤️

Lucifer:

Cuddling can only happen at night / the evening. Even on the weekends he is too busy to be cuddling during the day.

When you get in bed next to him he usually smells like coffee & sweat ngl. At first he does try to hide it with a nice expensive perfume but it might be best to cuddle after taking a shower.

He loves it if you curl up against him, laying your head on his chest. He is surprisingly gentle with his strokes in your hair!

He prefers not to talk or just very short I love yous are accepted. This is his calming, recharging moment.

His arms are strong as he puts them behind your back, or under your head if that's what you prefer. His weakness is stroking his head between his ears and forehead.

He is very glad to kiss your forehead without you having to ask! He is actually very affectionate if he is with you, and only you! Prefers holding one of your hands the entire time.

My love... Holding you in my arms in this moment makes me feel tranquil. As if nothing could ever go wrong again... I am aware it only lasts such a short time... I'm truly sorry we can't do this more often. Can you forgive me, my dearest?

Mammon:

Here is some Mams cuddles

Beelzebub:

Cuddling Beelzebub feels like the most natural thing. You fit just right under his arms, his legs. He can go on like this for hours. Nothing else has to happen and he is the most content demon in the world.

Being so close to him makes you realize he smells like deodorant and grass.

Likes to eat as you cuddle! Always brings you your favourite snacks! He can fall asleep very quickly like this though. Please just stroke his back he is going to melt into your touch.

He is going to kiss you with his hand holding yours to the bed. He kisses you very passionately, towering over you, using his tongue as he should; gluttony gets the best of him.

Very gentle with you the entire time. Carefully moves every inch of his body not to hurt you.

If you decide to lay too far away from him he just sweeps you right where you should be; entirely next to him!

Skin on skin contact is very important for him, pls don't wear too many clothes!!

I'm stronger now, but I can grow even more if you stay by my side. I'll do everything to support you, and I hope you will continue to support me too. I love you. So very deeply. Thank you for being here with me.

Diavolo:

I just think he enjoys being the little spoon. He can be the tiniest little spoon if he wants to!!

Loves to talk. This is no time to be quiet for more than 5 minutes. Something always comes to his mind which he wants to share.

His smell from up close isn't so easy to describe; it's a lingering smell of expensive parfume but also pine tree.

Can and will cuddle you in the afternoon if he/you needs it. Tea time can buzz off this is 300% better.

Talks about how nice it was to Barbatos. Poor Barb doesn't know how to react to this information.

Ah he definitely plays with the blanket; he likes to tuck you in real well, sometimes pull it over your head and kiss you in the dark.

Tickle fights are inevitable if you cuddle for too long. (He doesn't want to let you go pee but you must. So you tickle him.)

Sometimes he can forget how heavy he is though and if he falls asleep while on top of you, you'll be sore by the time he wakes up.

Ah just imagine the pure joy in his eyes the entire time.... sigh

My darling y/n... You are my most precious treasure in the entire world. You enchant and fascinate me, and each day, you ignite me.

[harkonnen-darkness]

• 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐭(𝐞𝐫) 𝐅𝐞𝐲𝐝 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝 Part Two

Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen imagine (?)

Just something short, but it seems like you liked my first one, so here is Part Two. Also a bit dark Feyd here, I think -> blood etc.

-> Part One 🖤 >> Part Two ⬇️ >> Part Three?

Once again, Feyd loves your gentle touches. He didn't understand them at first, they almost shocked him. He'd asked you what you were doing, twitching and irritatedly avoiding your gentle fingers. It had hurt you deeply, which he had quickly realized. He also realized that he didn't want to feel these feelings. So he drew closer to you day by day and allowed your gentle touches. Not long later, he loves them and enjoys every second of it. He would never admit it, but of course you notice it. And you also love it when he lets himself fall inside you. And it doesn't necessarily have to be sexual. When your hands caress his muscles, when you speak softly and whisper beautiful words to him. Be it about himself, about the death and dying of your both enemies or anything else that would make him happy.

Togetherness with you is very important to him. And he almost doesn't care how. Be it training, simply talking (if there is enough time during the daylight), lying in bed together at night and snuggling up close to each other, even in silence. Words don't always have to be spoken. Your closeness to each other is enough to say. Feyd would never consider silence to be bad as long as you are close together.

He often takes a closer look at your body, especially in the evening / at night. Not just to see what injuries you have sustained during training. Just so he knows that you're here with him. When he had nightmares about your death or your disappearance into the pure darkness several times, he almost didn't let you out of his sight for a few days. Just to make sure that you were still with him. toxically meant *cough* He has these nightmares regularly and is sometimes better and sometimes worse at controlling himself and his actions.

As soon as he have even a shred of time, he'll look for you. He knows all the places you like to go. And if he can't find you, he'll get angry. As soon as Feyd finds you in your or his chambers in the evening, he'll ask you where you've been. On the one hand, he is afraid that you will leave him. Another fear in him is that you will be touched by another man again. There are far too many possibilities in his head of what could have happened, when he can't find you.

The Na-Baron keeps emphasizing that he forbids you to die. At first you thought it was a joke, but each time you realize that he is dead serious. "I only allow you to bleed to death from my bites. Nothing else!" You read a lot into those words. He didn't want you to die in a fight, otherwise you would probably be weak in his eyes. On the other hand, you wonder why he would inflict all that pain to you with his teeth, when they're supposed to be, even in his words, 'love bites'.

Sometimes he unsettles you so much that it drives you crazy. However, you don't show this because you know that it would only lead to problems. But he notices your behavior and asks what's wrong. And he knows 99% of the time when you're lying. But, he doesn't always know what the truth is. But he knows exactly how to relax you and your body. actually, his words THEN only stress you out more lol

He inflicts pain on you in his own way - because he can't and won't do anything else. He bites you bloody when he's in the mood for it and he often holds you so tightly in his arms that it hurts. Sometimes it feels to you as if he could break your ribs in the next few seconds. The Harkonnen is also expressing his feelings for you, because his feelings for you are hurting him. I have explained this a little here. It makes him feel weaker, and he doesn't like that.

At the same time, you strengthen his self-confidence, but also lower it, because he had always sworn that he would never feel anything like love or similar to anyone. It had always been a weakness for him. He had loved his whores, but in a completely different way to the way he adores you.

When Feyd gets the idea, he sprays his perfume on your skin. So that everyone knows you've been with him and his scent 'sticks' to you. He also likes to smell his shower gel on you. It's like another confirmation for him that you are his when you smell like him.

When he has the time and inclination, he simply sits quietly next to you or on the bed and watches you do your hair (whether long or short). He finds the jewelry in your hair fascinating and very pretty. He's rarely seen anything like it before you. And precisely because it's you, he likes to watch you do it. Even when you do your make-up, but he's not a big fan of that. Mascara and, what he likes on you, and pink blush is enough for him. In the evening, at events, he likes to see lipstick on you.

He also finds your clothes fascinating. A lot of it is unusual, eye-catching. Sometimes more, sometimes less elegant. But you know when to wear what. But he doesn't need to see you in sexy underwear. He prefers to undress you completely anyway when he wants to be intimitate with you. But your jewelry, such as necklaces, body chains and rings, can stay on your body.

He knows one, two pretty nightdresses of yours. Nevertheless, he wants to keep you naked or in your panties in bed, pressed close to him. If it's cold, one of his sweat pants on you is fine for him. But he always wants to have your upper body free.

Apart from inflicting bites and hickeys all over you, Feyd especially likes to do it on your back. The large surface is like a canvas for him, which he can decorate as he pleases. Over and over again. He knows that many of your clothes are backless and so his marks are perfectly visible to everyone. This is not the case with your breasts and between your thighs, so your body part lends itself very well to this.

Feyd doesn't really care about the size of women's breasts. The same goes for the bottom. It should match the rest of your figure, that's all he cares about. He also knows a lot about the female body in general. He's already happily interested in it, just to understand it. He also knows what happens during pregnancy (vomiting, sometimes tiredness, body changes etc.) and it doesn't bother him in the slightest. As soon as you're pregnant, he even wants you to lay down your weapons and rest at a certain point. You and his offspring are too important to him for you both to be hurt anywhere.

Since he has feelings for you, he almost doesn't care what gender his child will be. It was only because of you, that he saw that women can also be very good warriors. And he thinks that with your warrior genes, and his anyway, a female offspring can't be bad. A male heir is desired, but with time he can be more or less satisfied with the idea of fathering a female.

Nevertheless, he doesn't want to impregnate you until the Baron, his uncle, has disappeared from the scene. Because you only find out much later that it is traditional to murder the mother shortly after giving birth. A (Na-)Baroness is only useful for offspring, nothing else. With you, Feyd's opinion has changed completely. And once he's Baron, can make some new rules - that would be the first thing he'd change. He wants to have you by his side and give you power over Giedi Prime and the galaxy, not drag you behind him as a stupid slave or doll.

Feyd loves to have pure power over your body. This works best sexually. Knowing what he can make you feel, makes his ego soar to unimaginable heights. When he has control over your body, emotions, mind and soul and he very quickly figured out which strings to pull to make you feel good which sometimes almost kills you. He loves to bite your breasts, the inside of your thighs and your butt. All the parts of your body that can perfectly enclose his teeth.

When he realizes you're not feeling well, he sometimes bites you playfully. Often in the cheek, not particularly hard. Just to cheer you up somehow and hear you giggle. It's more serious for him when he bites you while you're asleep. At best in your back, where you can't run your hands over it. Not so hard that you bleed, but it's woken you up a few times. He lies, says he hasn't done anything. Or teases you and asks if you're even dreaming about him.

I have the feeling that he might find thicker thighs quite attractive. No matter whether it's feminine curves or muscles. He's got something to grab and bite! 😮‍💨

Feyd loves slow sex with you. He wants to touch you completely differently than he treated his pets before you. Ever since you became his fiancée, he won't touch them, even though they often try to persuade him. He doesn't consent.

He sometimes sees you, without ever wanting to tell you, as nightmare and sin. That he gives himself to you, has feelings for you. And will probably never really understand it. That he feels something for you that he never wanted to feel, because love has always been a weakness for him. He doesn't love like others, he loves you in his own way. Yet he knows he can't kill you, even if he sometimes wants to. He thinks that this feeling, this longing and passion for you, could then disappear - because then you would be gone. And these thoughts torment him. He finds both terrible.

Your nickname "Devil" therefore has a much deeper meaning for him than you would ever guess.

If you have seen each other very little or not at all, mostly because of his uncle, you can assume that he will spend many hours with you in a waking state as soon as this is possible again. As already mentioned, he finds it pleasant to listen to you when you have something to say. It's a wonderful pastime for him when he's done training alone or teaching-Na-Baron-things. You read a lot of books about Giedi Prime and other things, but you like much rather have Feyd explain it to you.

He also likes to take a pretty bath with you, aside from the thermals. He's not a fan of hot water, but he tries as much as he can to be close to you. He probably wouldn't admit it either, but he likes the scent of your bath salts. And he doesn't mind smelling like you sometimes.

When he has slept in your chambers and watches you sleep briefly before he leaves, he often takes something of yours with him. Jewelry works well, as he has discovered. He hides it in his sleeve or pocket, plays with it in between (throws a ring up and down, for example). He likes to have something of yours to accompany him throughout the day. If you notice that something is missing, he lies and says with a grin that you should take better care of your things. Then the stuff suddenly reappear.

He couldn't describe how much he loves it, when you lean your head against his chest. No matter whether you are standing, sitting on his lap or snuggled up close to each other. When you place little kisses on his chest muscles, he likes to kiss your skull and nuzzle your neck and hair. Until his comforting purr turns into a deep growl and you know he's in the mood for you.

* It is absolutely no problem for him to satisfy you orally during your menstruation. He did it the first time so that you would realize that he is not disgusted by you in any ways. It's also supposed to be a sign of his feelings for you. He loves to taste your blood, which is sweet to him all the time. And he doesn't care from which part of your body you're bleeding. The main thing is that he gets as much of it on his tongue as possible without having to kill you. On the other hand, he hopes it will distract you from the pain. (Again, he knows a lot about the womens body.)

* Feyd sometimes imagines what it would look like, when you would to bleed to death in his arms. The red liquid would look so beautiful on you, decorating your body like jewelry. He would smile - probably not even realizing that you are dying - your beauty dazzles him, his perception and senses. There are moments when he looks at his knives and swords and thinks about which one he could use to cut your skin and flesh. But he manages to shake the thought aside, because he knows that it would only cause you pain. And he doesn't want that. He sometimes finds release in his dreams and is happy when he wakes up to be able to hold you close to him and hear and feel your heartbeat.

✨Did I forget something? 🤔

Taglist:

[thestarfishinjootsoffice]

hi ^^!! I wanted to know if you could do hcs or something about yandere hannibal w/ a anxious chubby reader who don't eat properly mainly because of they desire to lose weight bc of beauty standards and so he kidnaps they to take care "properly" being that an excuse to hide his obsession? please <3

Ohh shit 😳🤭🤭

MY FIRST HANNIBAL FIC IN IDK HOW MANY MONTHS???? NO CLICKBAIT???!!!!!

Warnings: hannibal gaslighting/manipulating you, mention of eating disorder, he kidnaps you and stuff, he's insane and typical unhealthy yandere behavior. And him friend zoning you 😐.

Relationship: yandere, romantic

Yan! Hannibal x anxious! Chubby! Reader

Your proness to being so easily influenced by things such as beauty standards just makes him think even further that you can't survive without him. That you need him.

He's often observing you in slight pity and the absolute need to just feed you himself. More often than not he's tired of making meals with ingredients explicitly for your liking only to have you take a singular bite and take no more. In between having you praising him with sweet words he hasn't never heard before, but it's different when it comes from you. All because you're on a so called strict diet on a weight loss journey.

Hannibal isn't a man to give up something simply because he couldn't have it the first few tries.

He loves your body, curves and how they look in clothing when you wear clothing that are little tighter than what you'd usually wear. Spending sleepless nights sometimes wondering how you would feel when his hands are caressing your face, roaming around your stomach, gripped tightly on your plump thighs...

He's so well aware of how wrong these feelings are. But he couldn't control it...

He wouldn't outright exploit your insecurity since it would be a problem if you were worrying about your weight and it affected your life more than it already has. He just wants you to be dependent on him.

So the day you wake up on his bed, confused and scared. He wants you to understand in a way that you won't view him as just a sick person, and weirdly you do.

Believing that he is doing this all because he is truly concerned for your wellbeing and doesn't want you to possibly have an eating disorder. He is doing all this sincerely because he is your dear friend and he cares deeply for you.

And also because he has absolutely no problem doing what he always did with his victims for so many years to you if you didn't comply. You know how he is.

Eyes watching intensely at every detail of your being while he spoon feeds you a dish that he knows you'll like. It's healthy anyways so why would you deny it?

Always confirming you with the idea that he is doing this for your sake, nothing more. He has to properly take care you because he knows you can't by your own. Just let him do what he does, he promises you don't have to worry about anything else or the damn beauty standard.

[wannaeatramyeon]

Jake Kim x Reader: Minseon

G/N. Soft as always for Jakey.

"You're so handsome," you sigh, half appreciative and half deeply envious.

The light isn't even hitting him in a particular way. Neither is he dressed up, just hanging about the apartment in a t-shirt and sweatpants.

But. This man. Jake goddamn Kim.

You know the feeling you get when you see an adorable animal and want to aggressively pet them and smush them? That's how you feel about Jake sometimes. A lot of the time.

You would hate him if he wasn't so charismatic and genuinely nice.

"Thanks," he says, accepting the compliment graciously, giving you a small smile before resuming scrolling on his phone.

It means the most coming from you, but you're not the first person to call him handsome, and no doubt you won't be the last.

Don't get him wrong, Jake doesn't think this due to arrogance but if you've heard this most of your life then it's something you just come to accept. Not that he cares too much, looks will eventually fade. 

Besides, he knows you will still love him once the wrinkles line his face, the grey peppers his hair and he no longer has the body of a man training everyday for survival.

You peer closely at him, obscuring his line of vision. "You have your mother's eyes, you know."

That stops him in his tracks. He arches a brow at your statement. "That's not what most people say."

"I know, I know," you wave your hand dismissively, "Your eyes are shaped like your dad's but they're the same shade as your mother's,"  then voice turning bashful, "They have the same warmth as hers."

It's cheesy but true. God bless Gapyrong's strong genes and good looks, because Jake is almost a spitting image of his father, though you haven't had the opportunity to meet the late Gapryong in person.  Nevertheless, you see a lot of Minseon in Jake.

Jake finds his father when he looks in the mirror. The angle of his eyes, height of his cheekbones, slope of his nose. Most days it’s all he sees.

You find his mother in the shade of his eyes, the arch of his eyebrows, the dip of his cupid's bow.

You recognise Minseon's gentle touch in the way Jake takes care of you. In him, the strength of her character alongside Gapryong's morals.

How Jake cooks, taking a dash of salt, angling his wrist and sprinkling it in the exact same way as her after years of watching her cooking for the family.

Prefers the quiet calm of the morning, just like his mom before the buzz of the day claims her.

You tell Jake all of this. His eyes widening in pleasant surprise, face softening with adoration, the more you talk.

You think about Minseon pottering in the big house on her own and feel a pang of sadness. "We should visit your mom soon, it's been a while."

Jake hums his agreement. You're far too good to him and he doesn't know what to do with it.

He reaches out, takes your hand between his with a tender smile on his lips. You see the same crinkle of Minseon's eyes reflected at you too.

[lay-z]

tw: self-indulgent; self-shipping; insecurities; body issues; very personal

Nowadays, dating seems even more scary and terrible for everyone. Loneliness is one of the worst diseases in the modern world; a true pandemic.

As a demisexual woman with deeply rooted insecurities and trust issues on top of that, I believe Johnny and Simon would be my cure.

It'd be a grueling healing process, one I'm initially not okay with, because the devil you know is easier to trust.

I'm a siren who lures men in because I think I like the attention, even if it's wrong. It's a funny thing, in a cruel way, to have a praise kink but be unable to take a genuine compliment. Men's attention is never the kind I need, but as a young girl, I learned that you're only worth something if you're desirable, if men find you attractive.

But what if you're not conventionally attractive? Then what? Am I worth nothing?

Sometimes I meet a man, and we could probably be a good fit. We share the same interests, the same humor (important!), but then they only care about my body, about sex, and I immediately shut down.

Men find me attractive. I am attractive, I know how to get their dicks hard with my words only. I'm a writer. I know dirty talk, I say things that are deemed 'too bold'. It's funny to me to watch them squirm while I'm completely unaffected by their flirting. I'm a demisexual, if there is no emotional connection, you won't get my pussy wet. I don't care about your fit body or big dick, your sports car, or money in your bank account, but they don't understand that.

They like my big tits and curves, curves I hated growing up because back then, I was told I'm too fat. When I was young (too young), I dressed in a way that showed my cleavage to distract from the rest of my body. When I got older, I hated myself for doing these things, for trying to appeal to them. I got my heart broken the few times I tried to force a connection, I'm an enemy of unrequited love.

I can't read angsty tropes, cheating, and jealousy because they trigger me deeply. All I crave is fluff. Fluff and devotion and love. I'm a sucker for fiction where soulmates exist because it would make it so much easier. Oh God, it would make it easier.

I crave a soulmate, someone who loves me because it's fate. Perhaps that's a toxic way of thinking, but it means comfort to me. I'm too loyal for this shit, too devoted, too loving, but I hide all of that behind a façade of sarcasm, wit and indifference.

I'm the tough, nonchalant, unfeeling, and hyper-independent woman who craves a connection, but all I'm met with it shallowness. It's scary. Isn't there more than sex? I'm hyper-sexual, too. I like sex, but if a man I don't know touches me intimately, I get sick to my stomach.

And then I meet Johnny, and we get along because he's obnoxious, and we swiftly realize how many interests we share because he simply doesn't shut up. He's obviously attractive, a flirt, which makes me recoil. Makes me keep him at an arm's length because he wants sex, but I can't give him that, but I also don't want to lose him as a friend.

He brings in Simon, and Simon makes me feel safe in a strange way because he never makes a move, never crosses a line. Silence with Simon is like a healing balm to my crippled, shredded soul. The behemoth of a man is indifferent yet his rare and curious side glances are just enough to keep me interested. He makes me want to try and crack him open like a ripe coconut, even though I have no tools to do so.

So, I pull and push. Pull and push. Sending mixed signals to both of them, especially over text. Whenever I panic and feel like Johnny might move on to satiate his urges elsewhere, I send him a nude and lure him back in again, but Johnny is smart. He figures it out, figures me out after a short while.

And as traumatized as I might be, so are they, and as always, I ignore my own demons in favor of theirs. I slip into that familiar mindest of a personal therapist, make them talk to me, and offer my services as a devoted friend. I want to help, to serve. I can't bear the thought of them suffering alone. What friend am I to let them tend to their problems by themselves?

But if they offer an open ear in return, I refuse them. I'm not a burden. I've clawed myself out of depressive episodes since I was a little girl, and I'll do it all over again on my own. But I crave their help and melt internally whenever they ask me how I'm feeling twice, because my first answer is a lie, and Simon uses his stern voice on me, making me crumble under his glare, but I still don't allow myself to accept their help, their care.

We become friends first and foremost. Simon keeps Johnny on a metaphorical leash whenever he gets too flirty, too touchy, because I'm scared of intimacy, scared that's the only thing Johnny wants, and he'll leave when he gets it. Push and pull.

Simon scolds me for being a flirt, for making it my mission to make him horny, calls me out for my toxic behavior, and I tug my tail between my legs like a hurt puppy, knowing that he's right. But I'm just seeking approval, thinking this is what will keep them interested in me. Pull and push.

His rejection, albeit reasonable, stings, and I seek verbal approval from Johnny. I need to hear that he wants to fuck me, even though there's something in my heart that reminds me this isn't what I need. However, like the bold mutt he is, Johnny tells me that he wants me, but he changes the topic to something I'm passionate about, and I forget about sex and when he tells me that he has work to do, that he'll text me later (and he does), I feel sad, not relieved about getting a break from him.

It's what usually happened when men got attached to me while I tried to but ultimately couldn't feel the same. I entertained them for as long as they played along with my shenanigans while I expected them to ghost me, done with my games of pulling and pushing. I was always relieved when they left, and I could wallow in self-pity again because I'd tried, right? Tried to connect.

It doesn't take too long until I feel something happening. They keep coming back, keep asking how I'm doing, if I want to hang out. Hanging out with them scared me at first because it never meant hanging out. 'Netflix and chill' traumatized me in the past, not even in the sense that it happened to me, but the meme alone added to my thought process that men only want sex.

I'm not scared of the act itself. I love sex, I want it. I want to be nasty with my man, and I want to experience it all. It's the fact that I can't sleep with a man just like that. A one night stand or hookup sounds like a nightmare to me. I once had a friend, a potential boyfriend, who told me he must sleep with someone before he can know if the woman is a good fit for him. I still carry that statement in my heart; it's branded into my brain. Does every man think like that? It terrifies me, because I can't do that. I can't give you a sample and be told I'm not good enough.

Meanwhile, both Simon and Johnny expect me to drop them as soon as they go on a longer deployment. Their job is too much, they're away too much. I'll find someone better. However, I keep waiting, keep texting and checking in on them. Cherishing every text message they're able to send as I wait for their return. They fear I've moved on, but whenever they come back, I act like they never left. They have trouble accepting my care at first, the way I pamper and dote on them. It's all I ever wanted, someone who appreciates my love. Simon cannot wrap his head around the fact that I'd care for him like that, all while I cannot wrap my head around the fact how someone has never cared about him before. He's the most loyal man I've ever met, next to Johnny.

When I realize that I've developed feelings for them, genuine feelings, I panic. I shut down and ghost them, and I act like they never existed, but Simon shows up, grabs me by the scruff and drags me back to them, like a cavemen with his prey, and I lash out.

I poke the bears with sticks and meet their reasoning to keep around with a kind of defiance and brattiness they haven't experienced with me before. It stuns them, hurts them, makes them question their initial assessment about me, because they're both just as insecure as I am, but they reassure each other and they start their perfectly strategic hunt for me.

I become a target and they never miss.

It makes me feel terrible, how much I enjoy their effort to get through to me, but I'm simply not good for them. There's someone better out there, someone kinder, prettier.

I'm too rotten, too much of a handful, too insecure. I'm not worth their effort, and I push and push and push. No more pulling, because it's getting too real. I'm in unknown territory and I've lost my trusty compass to guide me.

I've miscalculated them, believed I had the upper hand, and I was terribly wrong from the start.

And they start pinning my arms behind my back, binding them. And then my legs, so I stop kicking. And then they duct tape my mouth to keep me from spitting venom at them. They cover my eyes, so all I can do is listen.

It's shock therapy.

They force me to listen, to let them peel away each thick layer full of doubts and insecurities, even though I thought them permanent like scarred skin tissue. Simon knows his way around scars, though, and I can learn to live with them with his help, while Johnny doesn't care for scars and imperfections, he's got too many of his own and I still love him, don't I? He will love them for me if I'm not able to do so.

Their love is raw and pure, inexperienced and perhaps somewhat possessive, but so is mine, so it works.

Simon watches patiently for his turn when Johnny takes me apart for the first time.

Friends. I don't even know what the hell this is. Don't judge. 🩷