#sometimes you look at a character. and then you become a kind of barnacle

[natjennie]

i love the fact that so many of us think the captain is autistic. idk how to say it but something about the way we all just kind of. get it. makes me so happy. when people write him in fics, not even tagged as "the captain is autistic" but the way they capture his mannerisms so perfectly and like. he is. you might not have meant to but you wrote him being autistic. and the fact that I haven't seen anyone be like "ugh no he's not he does x y and z he can't be autistic" like that's my best friend the captain and he was gay and also autistic in the 1900s and he is gay and also autistic now. and I love him.

[mephinomaly]

[TL] Humans and Fish

Tsukasa Feature Scout - Kanata Shinkai 3* "Seaside Foraging"

Translated by: @mephinomaly

Character(s): Kanata Shinkai, Souma Kanzaki, Kaoru Hakaze

“Aoumi Aquarium” does not have the facilities to “display” this child. So let’s enjoy it as yummy food…☆

Season: Summer

Kanata: Splashing~, splashing~……♪ The “sea breeze” feels nice ♪

It’s “lucky” to find good “rock pools”. When you’re here, you do not have to worry about being washed away

You can “puka puka” as much as you want with “Mr Fishy”[1]~. Puka Puka……♪

“Rock shells”, “limpets”, “toothed sea snails”.... There are also “molluscs” here

Hee-hee. It’s like I’m inside a marine life “picture book”

…………Hm? Who is “holding” my hand…?

Ah, it is “Mr Hermit Crab”. Good morning ♪ Do you want to play with me?

Let’s have a “race” with “Mr Crab”

The “goal” is that “bucket”, okay? Please both do your best. One, two, three, four……♪

“First place” goes to “Mr Hermit Crab”. “Mr Crab” also did well. Yupyup, good boy good boy

The “shellfish”, “Mr Hermit Crab”, “Mr Crab”, and “Mr Fishy” too. You all…

look so tasty~♪

Souma: (It’s almost like looking in a mirror……Hm. I think this knife has been sufficiently polished)

(Now, all I have to do is wait for the fresh ingredients to be fetched by Shinkai-dono)

(The work from the other day was successful due to Shinkai-dono’s assistance)

(In order to repay his kindness I, Kanzaki Souma, have made some fine cuisine with fresh seafood!)

(Waiting in this manner reminds me of when Shinkai-dono was a part of the “Marine Life Club”)

(Fortunately, those curious about fish have joined, so the “Marine Life Club” was able to escape being closed)

(However, it is not guaranteed that next year nor the following year people will join with similar aspirations)

(This is for the sake of the Marine Life Club’s survival. As the club president, what should I do…?)

Kanata: Souma, thank you for waiting for me~

Souma: Oh! Shinkai-dono, have you returned?

Kanata: Yes~. I have brought lots and lots of “sea creatures”

Souma: I see. This will be quite enjoyable

……Hmm? There’s more than just manila clams and crabs. There’s barnacles, hermit crabs, and limpets…

These are unusual creatures, but we can eat them if we cook them. First, let’s fry them in “butter”[2]

Kanata: How exciting. Then, I’ll watch from over here, 'kay? ♪

…Souma. You’ve become good at “cooking”, haven’t you?

Souma: It must be due to “Niki’s Kitchen”. If there is an example to follow, your skills will naturally improve

Just like my ability with the sword, I want to continue to hone my skills ♪

Kaoru: Yahoo~. I thought that butter smelled good. Is it coming from you two?

Kanata: Yup. We’re cooking “Mr Fishy”, Kaoru should eat with us too ♪

Kaoru: Oh really? What kind of fish are you...

There’s more things that aren't fish than are… Are you okay? Is this all actually okay to eat?

Kanata: Of course it is. I have said bye-bye to all the “creatures” that have “poison”

Kaoru: Phew. Maybe I’ll stay then. You rarely get the chance to try this kind of “seafood” ♪

Souma: I didn’t intend on inviting you…… But an invitation from Shinkai-dono is not a wholly innocent one

However, I do not believe we have a sufficient amount of ingredients for three servings

Kanata: Ahem. I thought this might happen, so I brought “this”~♪

Souma: Hmm. Is it a deep-sea fish?

Kanata: Sometimes Mr “Fisherman” gives me a “fishy” to display in the “aquarium”. I mixed it in amongst the other fishes

“Aoumi Aquarium” does not have the facilities to “display” this child. So let’s enjoy it as yummy food…☆

Kaoru: That’s kinda sad, but I guess it’s selfish to think that way. We should be grateful everyday for the various lives we sacrifice just so we can eat

Souma: I suppose. If you cannot return it to the bottom of the sea, eating it first will be the most compassionate thing you can do

Let’s prepare this sashimi[3] and ishiru[4]. Please bare with me for a short while

After a while

Kaoru: Woah, you’re pretty fast at cooking

Souma: Yes, now please enjoy!

Kanata: Yay. Thank you for this “sashimi”. Nomnomnom...[5]

Kaoru: Mmm, this tastes good ♪ I’m honestly surprised it does. I saw the ingredients and thought “there’s no way that’s gonna taste nice, right?”

Kanata: Hee-hee. Both “people” and “fish” do not appear good. You can only understand the “truth” when you look at what is on the inside

…Ah, that was very careless of me

Souma~. Please can you “cook” this too ♪

Kaoru: An oarfish!? Where the hell were you hiding that!?

Souma: It no longer fits in the room so it must be too big to cook…?

No, I will cook it even if it kills me[6]! Let’s put our heart and soul into this!

Kanata: But the “oarfish” is dead, it cannot kill you[7]. I am expecting big things from you, Souma

It all looks so tasty, let’s eat......☆

Kanata calls all the sea animals “-san” (e.g. “かにさん” (かに = crab)). The “san” honorific is normally formal, but in this case as he’s referring to animals it becomes something more childish

He says “ばたぁ” which just means butter, but you normally spell butter in katakana (i.e. バター). He likely does this to emphasise his traditional way of speaking

Sashimi is a Japanese dish - it’s thinly sliced raw fish or meat, and you normally have it with a dipping sauce like soy sauce

Ishiru is basically fish sauce. It’s made of salted and fermented sardines, squid, or mackerel

It says “もぐもぐ” which is onomatapeia for chewing

Souma says “毒を食らわば皿まで” lit. “if you’ve eaten poison, (eat) the plate too”. It has a general feeling of “if you’re going to do it, do it properly”/”you’ve done one bad thing, might as well do another”

In the proverb Souma said, the kanji “毒” (どく- doku) means poison. Kanata replies with “But oarfish are not どく” - he’s taken the proverb literally and thinks Souma thinks oarfish are poisonous. I tried to preserve the joke whilst also having it make sense in english

[factual-fantasy]

I got 25 asks that took me WAY too long to reply to! :}

I have two top favorite episodes, the cone snail episode and the beluga whales episode.

When it comes to my favorite part of both episodes..?

..Not happy parts...

I have absolutely no idea what you just suggested.

(Referring to this post)

Thank you! That was the intention. :} I was worried that their faces all looked weird..

You want to learn more? Man.. maybe I should post that headcannon draft..

Yeah haha, this blog has taken quite the U-turn hasn’t it? I’m just glad everyone seems okay with it so far. <:} I’m excited for season 5 also! I hope it comes out soon! :D

THANK YOU, I WILL CHERISH THIS LOVE YOU HAVE GIVEN ME FOREVER

Yes and no.

Does he think of his crew as children? Absolutely not. They are all fully grown, intelligent and capable adults, and he darn well treats them like it.

But you bet that if one of them is in danger or is frightened, he’s dropping everything he’s doing and rushing to their aid as if they’re his cub that just wondered out onto the highway.

ME TOO! I always felt like he had this fatherly vibe to him with some professionalism sprinkled on top. Like he’s always looking out for his team because he cares for them and worries about them, but its kind of disguised as him just doing his job as the Captain.

I plan to draw more Protective Barnacles because its my jam, so don’t worry! That side of you will have some more fuel soon XD. And thank you for all the compliments! :}

Daww thank you, it twaz nothin. I’m just glad that people want to see my art.

Well, taking everyone into consideration, the tallest is Captain Barnacles, and the shortest is Tomminow. (This little guy 👇)

The Vegimals aside though? Peso is the shortest. 

(And thank you! I’m glad :})

Honestly? Awful. I feel like absolute garbage, I just hope this will all finally go away soon.

Not really no, and no thanks on the cookies, I shouldn’t eat anything until I get super hungry because everything gives me stomachaches.. But a hug would sure be nice right about now.

I can give you a link to their wiki pages if that’ll help, I’m not really good with my words and you can learn everything you need to know about them there. <:}

Captain Barnacles (The polar bear guy)

Kwazii (The orange pirate cat guy)

Peso (The bby Penguin doktor)

Shellington (Tall Otter boi)

Dashi (Doge girl with skirt)

Professor Inkling (Fancy squik)

Tweak (Green bunny country gal chick)

The Vegimals (Little veggie dudes)

All the Gups (Metal fishes)

The Octopod (Momma metal squik)

Whos the youngest Octonaut? Well, if we’re not including the Vegimals, I’d say its probably Peso. And the oldest is most likely Professor Inkling.

Does anyone have claustrophobia? Yes! Captain Barnacles canonically does. He got trapped in a deep hole in some icy caves as a cub, since then he’s been afraid of tight and closed in spaces. I have extended on that fact and thought of many different scenarios relating to the aftermath of the Octonauts movie, but you know.. still not confident in all this Octonauts stuff so I haven’t posted my headcannons yet. <:/

Novelas translated into English means Soap Opera.

You think so? I feel like that’s not Kwazii’s thing, he’d probably like horror movies and action filled movies. But Peso probably would like them not gonna lie, him and Dashi would probably watch them together.

Well, in my draft post I’ve got two headcannons for her so far.

Tweak likes sleeping in the launch bay for the #1 reason that she can hear the water sloshing around in the bay. Which mimics the sound the water in the swamp used to make when she lived there with her Dad.

Tweak gets bad migraines when she’s sick, so the other Octonauts have to do a lot to accommodate her. Because the beds in the med bay aren’t that soft, she prefers to sleep in her room when she’s sick. But then the usually comforting sounds of the water in the launch bay become pain inducing. So the launch bay is emptied of all its water, the lights are shut off and, unless its an emergency, no one is allowed in the launch bay until she recovers. 

I looked it up, and its true.

KWAZII WAS A GIRL IN THE BOOKS?? THEN WHY IS HE A BOY IN THE SHOW?? WHY DID THEY CHANGE THAT?? WH??? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like this Kwazii more than I would any other version of him, but still, WHY’D THEY CHANGE THAT?? IM GLAD THEY DID BUT WHY??

Hmm.. let me think...

Captain Barnacles most likely doesn’t ever have uninterrupted free time, and even when he does, he probably still prefers to be up in HQ where anyone can find him if they need him. But lets say for the sake of it that he has some free time and he takes it. He’d probably either want to play his accordion, or want to read a book.

I feel like there’s a lot of different things Kwazii likes to do in his spare time, but goofing around in the Gup-B is probably his favorite.

Peso probably likes to do puzzles and play his xylophone.

Dashi probably reads books while listening to music. How she does both of these things at the same time I have no idea.

Tweak probably plays video games.

Professor Inkling and Shellington both probably read books in their free time.

I’m not too sure what the Vegimals would do in their free time though..

Oh yes, indeed it does. 

Before becoming the Captain of the Octonauts, Barnacles had to ask himself,  “Am I really ready to be their leader?” Can he handle managing a team of that size? Can he react to situations fast enough and make the right choices? He thought it through and believed that yes. He was ready.

But he wasn’t. He wasn't prepared for that gut wrenching anxiety when one crew member goes missing. He wasn't prepared for the crippling heat that most everywhere else has compared to his home. He wasn't prepared to become so attached to his crew that the thought of something happening to them keeps him awake for nights in a row. He wasn’t prepared for that overwhelming nausea of missing home and his sister. 

There was a lot he didn’t know. They’d all turn to him when something went wrong and ask if everything's going to be okay. He’d say “don’t worry, its all going to be okay.” but he’s just as unsure as everyone else.

Now don't get me wrong, he’s not this completely hopeless and unexperienced Captain that bit off more than he could chew, no. There’s just somethings he didn’t think about before becoming Captain of the Octonauts.

Now usually he can really keep himself composed almost always. He’s very level headed and very good at thinking his way through things, But sometimes? He just.. needs a break. He usually cant get a break because he’s the Captain and always needs to be alert, so everyone else that sees it usually tries to help.

Some crew members, like the Vegimals and Kwazii, have a habit of following the Captain around when they see that he’s tired to keep an eye on him. Others like Shellington and Dashi tend to give him space and keep things quiet for him. Some crew members, like Peso and Tweak tend to clean up around the place to take some weight off the Captains shoulders, they all help him out in some way.

Professor Inkling will sometimes find an excuse to pull him aside to have some tea with him. They’ll sit and talk for a bit but then he’s back up on his feet and back to work. This poor bear..

..hold on.. was this a drawing suggestion?

Dashi and Tweak would probably hang out in Dashi’s room and goof around. Not sure what they’d do.. maybe read, talk, play games or.. idk pillow fights? I don’t know what girls do on a girls night.

As for everyone else? I also am not sure, I don’t know what all those characters with all their clashing personalities would do on a boys night. Maybe they would all watch a movie? All attempt bake something obnoxious together? They seem like the kind of characters that would do that.

I’ve never been to a girls night or a guys night, so I don't really have much of a base to go off of.. but both groups would probably get together and do something they’d all enjoy. Guys maybe a funny movie, and the girls just talking and reading books? <:D 

For real that’d be hilarious. Imagine if their voices were deep and gruff too but they just make them sound high pitched for fun?

Dude that’d be so funny. Like Kwazii’s up to his shenanigans again blabbering on about some sea monster or what have you, and Tunip out of nowhere just goes,

“Kwazii legit stop, we all know that you’re just talking about some ordinary sea creature that pirates interpreted as a sea monster.“

The whole crew gon be like

If this game existed in their world and they all played it.....

Captain Barnacles would make it through a pacifist run and would be satisfied. He’s some kind of weirdo who doesn’t think of characters as real people and doesn’t obsess over them and cry about them. Overall he thinks the game is pretty neat, but probably not his type of game.

Kwazii would want to test his skills by attempting a genocide, but his heart of gold would get in the way and he wouldn’t be able to complete it. He’d feel terrible for killing goat mom, reset and go hard pacifist next round. Overall he thinks the game is awesome.

Peso would want to talk to every character so they’d all be included in the story. He’d go full pacifist and cry over the story and its characters. Overall 10/10 for him.

Dashi would probably cry over the game a lot and would never attempt a genocide run because the characters are now her family.

Shellington would hate the fighting parts so would delay those bits by walking around and talking to characters over and over again.

Tweak would go through a neutral run because she sometimes accidently kills weaker monsters. Overall she loves the story and its characters, 10/10 would play again.

Professor Inkling would become invested in the story I bet. Complimenting the story arcs for the characters and its creative game play. But I feel like he’d only play it once and probably wouldn’t beat it, but would have fun with it none the less.

Thank you!!!♡♡♡ Man, I never expected such a positive response to switching to Octonauts, I cant believe everyone is so excited about it! I’m so glad you like my Octonauts art, that really makes me feel better and like what I’m drawing is worth while. ɷ◡ɷ

Aww I’m glad! And oh yeah, the animals at the end were always scary. Remember the Boo the spookfish?

Boo was a cute little googly eyed fishy boi who was just so sweet and somft until the creATURE REPORT AND I-

THAT’S MY QUE TO YEET THE COMPUTER

Dawww thank you!! I tried. <:}

[wolf-zer0]

Ya want some WORLD-BUILDING????

Have some world-building!

*REMINDER* This is based on characters, not real people.  I’m not going to be writing any shipping/smut content, especially involving minors.  Please be respectful of content creators’ boundaries!

The Crystallos Empire (AKA the Antarctic Empire)

Largest the countries (takes up most of the southern half of the map) but agreed to stop expansion after a bloody battle with Valeriana 

Centered on a large snowy mountain in the middle of the tundra 

Mostly stays out of other countries’ business, but will step in as a last resort 

Has some of the most well-known citizens in the world because… they’re pure chaos 

Attack at your own peril 

Has vast deposits of ores and gemstones, and the metalwork from Crystallos (mainly weaponry, armor, and jewelry) is highly sought after 

The only known food export is potatoes.  Wonder why… 

Associated Colors: Royal blue, light blue, crimson, gold 

Aesthetic/Vibes: gothic vibes, white stone and large stain glass windows, not particularly opulent or extravagant but still impressively royal looking, think catholic cathedral but brighter and with less Jesus (can you tell I’m a recovering catholic yet?), spires shooting into the sky that’s visible even during a blizzard, cavernous halls full of sunlight and echoes, snow that can comfort and kill in equal measure

Notable Members:

Philza Minecraft:

Angel

Visible wings look like a harpy eagle

Probably the most powerful person in the world

Didn’t mean to start an empire it kinda just happened

Also didn’t mean to adopt kids but his Dadza alarm went off

Usually kind but will not hesitate to use violence when necessary

Technoblade: 

Is pig.  

With braid.  

At least 8 feet all

Extremely adept fighter, skilled in almost every form of combat.  

Not a people pig, prefers his potato farm to being a prince

Hella protective of his family but will not hesitate to bully when given the opportunity

Wilbur Soot: 

Muse who can influence people through song

Can’t totally control people (yet) but can subtly push them in a certain direction

The public face of the imperial family

Would rather insult than fight but can and will cut a bitch if he needs to

Because inspiration is fickle he’ll have some … strange episodes (see: the Sand Incident)

Tommy Innit: 

Child.  

Chaos incarnate.

Is he human?  Is he not?  No one’s sure yet.  

But he’s a gremlin and a hellion and willing to throw down at any moment.  

Has a surprisingly caring side, but no one outside his immediate circle has ever really seen it.  

The Kingdom of Valeriana (aka Dream SMP)

Oldest of the countries 

Located in the middle of a massive forest at the center of the main continent 

Home of the Fae Courts

Ruled by a single king who is chosen by a tournament held every 100 years 

Known for causing chaos in other countries, but after an Incident with Crystallos they have kept their meddling to annoyances rather than outright declarations of war 

Considered the most magical of all the countries, and traditional enchantments almost all come from Valeriana 

Associated Colors: neon green (duh), bright yellow, forest green, light brown, blood red (more saturated than Crystallos), rose gold 

Aesthetic/Vibes: spooky art nouveau (idk what else to call it), lots of plants and nature but with an edge of danger, poison gardens and carnivorous plants, hedge mazes that lead everywhere and nowhere, laughter deep in the forest, deer with eyes just a hair too human, Alice in Wonderland on steroids 

Notable Members: 

Dream: 

Current king of the Fae

As long as he’s touching the ground, he knows where everything and everyone is

Can terraform

Unlimited in the boundaries of his kingdom

Much more limited outside of his realm

No one has ever seen what he really looks like, even before he took the throne

Since people outside the kingdom don’t know who he is, he’ll wander the outside world and challenge random people to fights

Never says what happens to the losers

Only one person has ever beaten him: Technoblade

He might have a lil obsession around Techno, but it’s fine.  

A little competition is healthy.

Sapnap:  

High Lord of the Summer Court

Dream’s right hand man

Likes fire a little too much probably

George: 

Human that Dream took a liking too and yoinked from the mortal world

Dream and Sapnap made him immortal but he hasn’t realized it yet.  

Skeppy: 

Changeling who started growing diamond-like scales across his body

Is vaguely allied with Dream simply because he’s Fae, but is more loyal to BBH

Like a lot of other Fae, likes to make challenges but he makes them less deadly.  Not totally safe, just less deadly.

Badboyhalo: 

Demon who was kicked out of hell because he was too nice

Found Skeppy in the Overworld and the rest is history

Cursed by the Demon King that the moment he says a swear word, the entire world would end, but can never tell anyone that he is cursed

The Merchant’s Guild

Not quite a country, more of a international power 

Oversees the largest and most important businesses in the world 

Makes sure that no laws are broken between different countries and everyone gets a fair shake 

Has a very large reach, so some members have dabbled in espionage for various groups 

From the outside it looks like the whole thing is kept together with duct tape and hope, but its actually pretty functional

The main members are just… a lot. 

More concerned with keeping things working than influencing other nations (although there are still jokes about it) 

The most valuable thing they trade in is information

They have a lot of fingers in a lot of pots, but are trusted with their information 

Associated Colors: dark blue, teal, deep yellow, burnt orange, copper

Aesthetic/Vibes: art deco babie, angles and lines, very modern and streamlined, sleek suits instead of armor or robes, whiskey in a crystal glass, wars won by words not weapons, knowing when someone’s lying without them saying a word

Notable Members:

Schlatt: 

Ram-man with a plan

Not that bad of a dude, but is in a position where he is constantly in possession of highly sensitive information and that does things to someone’s mental state

Drinks pretty regularly but not a full blown alcoholic

Trying his best

Can be a snarky asshole sometimes

Quackity: 

Lucky duck.  literally.  

Duck man with an uncanny ability to absorb good luck from people (typically Fundy) and apply it to himself

No one knows when or why he joined the guild, but now he’s there

Pretty damn smart, but hides it behind humor

Fundy: 

FOX!  

With BEANS!

Trying his goddamn best but life (and Quackity) make it very difficult

Usually is stuck with the shit end of the stick when getting jobs/contracts/etc. 

Wilbur being his dad is an inside joke that’s gotten a life of its own.  

(No Fishfuckers Allowed!!!)

Puffy: 

Badass sheep lady who captains a ship and commands her own armada

Schlatt’s sister

Also part of Storm’s Landing’s council and acts as the main liaison between them 

Do not fuck with her she will kick your ass.

Storm’s Landing

Port city that became a country after becoming a safe-haven for seafarers

Led by a council of important people, with the head of the council known as the Admiral 

Closest ties to Crystallos and the Merchant’s guild because: 

1) Clingy supremacy!!!!

2) it’s a good idea for a guild to have good ties with a large sea power

3) all the dads for Tubbo

Associated Colors: navy blue, scarlet, white, brass 

Aesthetic/Vibes: Nautical (obviously) with heavy “Age of Exploration” vibes, barnacles crusted on treasure chests, think tall ships and pirates and shit, respecting the ocean because holy shit she’s gonna smash your boat to pieces on a whim because she can, has an edge of darkness because when you go deep enough who knows what you’ll find down there (maybe mermaids???) 

Notable Members:

CaptainSparklez: 

elected to Admiral after the previous Admiral went missing on a routine voyage 

(idk who it used to be, I just wanted to make him new at leading)

not 100% sure about the whole thing, but handling it pretty okay

still answers to “Captain” instead of “Admiral”.  

Niki:

If Storm’s Landing had a queen, would be it unquestionably

Never gets robbed even though there’s a well known “underbelly” in town

Could probably end wars with her croissants

Has a significant history of empathic abilities in her family, so she can tell how people are feeling at all times

Eret: 

Owns a magic store in town that really only shows itself to people who need it.  

Having a bad mental health day?  

He’s got a warm blanket and a cup of your favorite warm beverage waiting.  

Dysphoric?  

She’s got the perfect outfit and affirming words already prepared.  

Trying to find that specific book but can’t remember the title or plot, only vaguely know the color of the cover?  

They’ve got it.  

Ranboo:  

Not sure why he decided to move to a seaside city when he’s not chill with water, but now he’s here and he’s too anxious to leave

Known for teleporting around town randomly when nervous, and the people who find him are always willing to let a hand if he gets lost

Tubbo: 

This boi!  Has so many dads!  

Epitome of “Kindness does not equal weakness.”  

While a lot of people underestimate him, he’s not some fragile little flower

He hasn’t fully grown into his ability to speak to animals (he can only understand bees right now)

He’s just as much of a shit stirrer as Tommy.  

When they meet up, look out.  Something’s getting destroyed.

The Astral Academy

An independent university focused on advancing knowledge in the arcane arts and engineering 

Not a country, but has the political power of one due to their vast resources and building prowess 

People can’t enter unless they are invited or have been given entry as a student 

There are a bunch of potential doors scattered around the continent that could lead to the Academy, but no one is sure where the real entrance is 

Associated Colors: royal purple, lilac, sepia, sky blue, silver, bronze Aesthetic/Vibes: bright academia, massive libraries with bookshelves stuffed to bursting, workshop benches covered in scrap and prototypes, open air observatories, runes waiting to be translated, the crackling energy that comes from successful collaboration, falling down a research rabbit hole, bursting with pride after a project is a success

Notable Members: 

Sam

Purpled

Ponk

Punz

Antfrost

Jack Manifold

I don’t know much about these characters, so if you have any ideas please let me know!

Zero’s OC Land - The North Haven

Smallest and newest country 

Recently gained independence from under a cruel dictator (not schlatt lol)

Located in a pine forest at the base of a huge mountain range 

Has pretty good relations with the other countries, but outsiders don’t know much about them 

Main exports are wood carvings and leather goods 

Associated Colors: Maroon, dark brown, black, pewter 

Aesthetic/Vibes: medieval but with a modern twist, dark wood lit by a roaring fireplace, snow-covered woods without a living soul in sight, half timber houses and detailed wood carving, no outrageous ornamentation or extravagance 

Notable Members:

Tyr: 

Lord of the North Haven

trying to keep his people safe and protected

one of the few remaining Spirits (higher in power than the Fae, but lower than angels)

Spirit of Justice

lost a hand in the war for North Haven’s independence

didn’t want to become the leader but does a pretty good job at it

Adopted 5 kids and is trying his best

Bragi: 

Heir Apparent

24 year old human

can influence the world by speaking (not singing) but has to be careful about which words he uses

has a book full of phrases that have proven effects (a spellbook of sorts)

has a friendly rivalry with Wilbur

Freya: 

Spymaster

actually the oldest but abdicated because she feels she’s not the right person to lead a country

age unknown because she’s the last known [REDACTED] (it’ll be revealed, but I wanna build suspense)

has gyrfalcon wings and heightened senses

chronic insomniac

Forseti: 

Official Librarian

20 years old

hybrid with an unknown entity

has black fingers with sharp claws

always wears gloves to hide them

can create portals to places he’s been or to people he knows (the second is much riskier, but not impossible)

knowledge sponge

wants to join the Astral Academy but is too nervous to apply

Odin: 

Older Twin

The “Sensible One”

17 years old

Has an uncanny sense of direction

Can’t get lost no matter what

Can manipulate magnetic fields

Loki:

Younger Twin

The “Hot Headed One”

17 years old

can manipulate fire

idolizes his older siblings, particularly Freya

The Institute

Creeping around in the background

Up to bad things

Something’s going on in the world, but no one’s noticed yet

They will though… soon

Aesthetic/Vibes: minimalism (the worst kind of vibes imo), think laboratories or empty hospitals, harsh artificial lights and cold floors, labyrinths of monotonous hallways with no doors

[mossrotts]

So I have two tabletop characters (Sial I haven’t actually played yet but I’ve worked a lot on his backstory) that are trans men and I thought it might be kind of neat to talk about their trans experiences?

Long post under the cut, with mentions of body parts, genitals, reproductive organs, and surgery that might be uncomfortable for some folk. 

Ashdale’s pronouns are he/him. He’s a fetchling ranger from a Pathfinder campaign. He was raised by ghosts and has a ghost boyfriend and also his companion is a ghost ferret. Ashdale’s got a thing for ghosts. 

Though he experienced some dysphoria when he was younger, he really only started identifying as male as a young adult. He worked as a fur trapper in colder parts and often wore a bulky cloak that made him look like a blob of a person–that, plus his tall height and people’s preconceptions, meant that he was often referred to as ‘he’ or ‘sir’. Ashdale had a responding feeling of “Ah. That feels correct.” whenever that happened. He started purposefully presenting as male. 

Ashdale has had top surgery and is on a sort of HRT process from a different surgery. Also he gotten a lot of nicks and scars from his adventuring life. 

This is Adleweiss (she/her), an old gnoll with bad cataracts in one eye. She was once a renown surgeon–technically what we’d consider a cosmetic surgeon–but for some reason is alone in the woods. Ashdale strikes up a friendship with her and she’s who preformed Ashdale’s surgeries. 

Adleweiss uses a combination of surgery and different types of Polymorph (check that spell out here) to alter appearances or the nature of things. Polymorph generally doesn’t work the best on people–usually people are too complex for the spell to be permanent, and you have to deal with how the individual’s will power will affect the spell. But Adleweiss realized it works better on parts–on smaller portions of a complex thing, rather than the whole complex thing itself. So instead of just polymorphing Ashdale into a body more true to what he feels and having that wear off or such, she removed his breast tissue and got down into his ovaries and polymorphed them to basically start producing testosterone. 

The effects of this are very similar to someone in real life injecting testosterone–Ashdale got more body hair, deepened his voice, had his clit grow, got greasy and got acne, had muscle mass shift, etc. This is an ongoing process and in game he was just starting to hit the height of these changes.

I’m not the best with tabletop mechanics and there’s probably some loose ends with how polymorph would work in that setting–but I think it’d work, and that’s part of Ashdale’s transition.  

(And then in game Adleweiss started using her skills for some real immoral shit and Ashdale broke off their friendship but that’s another story.)

Sialodil Witherwoe’s pronouns are he or they. For this post I’m going to use mostly he/him as his preference leans just slightly more towards that, but he enjoys when they/them pop-up too. Sial is a drow warlock who was ‘gifted’ a spiky slashing gauntlet from his patron (more like ‘accidentally got’ as their relationship is like him being a barnacle on a whale that doesn’t know he exists). Sial is for a Curse of Strahd D&D campaign planned for the future and he likes putting silver flakes on his face to feel pretty. 

Sial has not medically/surgically transitioned like Ashdale, but instead uses a vest that functions similar to how one might use a binder in real life–with some differences. 

For the sake of comparison/explaining the vest, let’s first look at a Bag of Holding. (There’s also a Handy Haversack and Portable Hole, which honestly the vest is closer too, but the Bag of Holding is more iconic and easier to draw. All those items are clickable if you want to learn more about them.) The Bag of Holding’s opening is essentially a portal to a larger interior space than what just a bag would have, it can hold a ridiculous amount of items–and even living creatures for a very short period of time (no air, as I understand it). 

And this is the Vest of Holding! There are two pocket-sized openings on the inside of the vest that lead to that ‘larger than the exterior’ space. A user would slide their breasts into these pocket-openings wherein they’d be hidden from this plane (technically no longer existing on this plane) to achieve a flat-chested look.

Unlike the Bag of Holding, the Vest requires a lot less space–both for the pocket and inside the pocket, so it’s not a great place to store anything besides the intended body part. It also has a lot of benefits as opposed to regular binding! Like the fact that you can be flat-chested regardless of how large the breasts actually are, you can wear it for extended periods of time, can exercise no problem with it on, and little to no stress on the ribs without the need for actual binding/constriction. 

Though… there’s probably some cons too. If a Bag of Holding is torn or pierced it ruptures, everything in it spills out, and it becomes useless. I think that could be dangerous and the Vests are probably made with a very durable leather padding over the Pocket openings. But because of that, wearing leather that close to the body with extreme adventuring probably means there’s a greater chance of overheating and such. 

But yeah, I think they would have been invented by a trans NPC for trans folk. Sial got his hands on one and loves wearing it–sometimes with a packer too, and sometimes not. He prefers the Vest to usual binding for the sole reason of it being easier for him to wear lower cut shirts but still feel masculine. 

And that’s how a couple of my characters have some trans experiences! Lemme know what you think, and please feel free to reblog (or make a new post and @ me so I can see it!) talking about how your characters transition or pass or just relate to their transness in a tabletop world!

[shipburner]

Fallout: Atlantis

A Fallout game by somebody who has never played Fallout and is just now reading the wikis

So, I took @tyrantisterror‘s “Your Own Personal Fallout” post way, way too seriously for someone with no connection to the games.

Name and Location of The Wasteland: the Tidewater Expanse (the Chesapeake Bay plus several feet of sea level rise). Distinct from the Capital Wasteland due to the 30 miles and water barrier separating them.

Time Period: the more I try to learn about the Fallout timeline the more my head hurts

Primary Slice of Americana: Kitschy tourist traps, the way some states have urban and rural areas abutting each other so closely (the Tidewater Expanse transitions very quickly from settlement to farmland/waterways/waste), a soupcon of Moby Dick-esque whaling yarns

Central Thematic Conflict: Identity: who are you, in a world of chaos and change? What do you choose to center yourself around? Do you find solace in ideals? In aesthetics? In challenges? People have different answers to that question.

PC’s Title: The Reporter

PC’s Motive for Exploring the Wasteland: You're a newspaper with a staff of one, but by gum are you going to make your paper the best ever! You travel around the Tidewater Expanse looking for people's stories, interviewing them and possibly doing journalistically unethical things by involving yourself in their stories.

Bestiary

Recurring Creatures and Robots: ‘Cause it’s not Fallout without radroaches, Deathclaws, and ghouls

Humanoid:

Ghouls

Super Mutants: Some dipshits tried to keep FEV at the Aberdeen Proving Ground and made super mutants again, proving that we never learn from our fucking mistakes.

Synths

Mammalian:

Brahmins, which curiously have red-and-white or black-and-orange patches

Dogs

Radstags and yao guai, which likewise have the Maryland flag pattern

Reptilian:

Gulpers, which are human-sized, fast, brightly colored, and hide in the undergrowth/under logs and buildings. They're referred to as burners, since some of them can breathe fire.

Lakelurks/mirelurk kings, evolved diamondback terrapins. Referred to as landlurks, they can use tools, have language, and are treated as people in the Tidewater Expanse, often retrieving things from the drowned cities.

Pinkclaws, deathclaws whose shrimp-rich diet has made their keratinous structures bright pink. Their horns have fused into head-crests that vaguely resemble beehive hairdos. They are found exclusively as the battle mounts of the Hons.

Arthropod:

Bloatflies

Bloodbugs

Giant ants

Giant mantises

Mirelurks (referred to as baylurks), since they're canonically blue and horseshoe crabs.

Radroaches

Wanamingos, using @bogleech​'s flea-wanamingo idea.

Robots:

Eyebots

Mr. Handys/Gutsys/Nannys

Assaultrons, protectrons, sentrybots (found at the Aberdeen Proving Ground)

New Creatures and Robots:

Various kinds of giant fish (pumpkinseeds, eels, perch, killifish, and whatnot).

Bagels, shrieking flocks of seagulls which lower your Karma when you kill them as a "Rime of the Ancient Mariner" reference.

Bugbears, giant jumping spiders taken from the Bogleech Fallout bugs article, occupying the same "killer rabbit" role as wig-wigs in the Edge Chronicles.

Chessies, otter-like creatures that are actually Chesapeake Bay Retrievers mutated to live in a watery environment. They mob your boat, although sometimes it's out of affection.

Crabkens, colony organisms made of hundreds of thousands of blue crabs, which wrap tentacles made of crabs around boats and pull them to the bottom of the Bay.

Goblins, hairless raccoons that dig through ruins.

Hugbugs, giant, mutated lovebugs, the corpses of which can be made into goo bombs and the living of which will swarm you and cook you to death like Japanese honeybees.

Iron crabs, aquatic spy robots that look like crabs.

Loxo zombies, humans infected with a mutated version of Loxothylacus panopaei, with larva-bearing barnacles on their guts. Loxo zombies are obsessed with the propagation of their larvae, but often retain their original personalities.

Misties, island-dwelling wild horses with the ability to turn invisible.

Pentecost lice, a mutated version of Cymothoa exigua found in various fish and in some humans. They have human-sounding voices, and some claim they are oracular.

Snakeheads, humanoid snakehead fish who wear human masks and try, buffoonishly, to infiltrate our society.

Snallygosters, vaguely birdlike/dragonlike creatures with one eye, metal beaks, and a fringe of tentacles surrounding their beaks.

  Factions

Faction 1: The Watermen (The Well-Intentioned But Flawed One)

Leader: Captain Cate Claw, a salty-mouthed woman who runs a fishing boat and uses a mirelurk claw as a hook

Goal: To care for the Tidewater Expanse and survive off its bounty

Distinctive Visual and Behavioral Theme: The Watermen all wear stereotypical yellow hats and raincoats, often with some sea-beast trophy. While they make an effort to care for the Tidewater Expanse, there are many who backslide into overfishing.

Faction 2: The Proven (The Obviously Evil (But Partially Justified?) One)

Leader: Jack Utsumi, a severe-looking and internally tortured scientist

Goal: To utilize the technology of Edgewood (see below) to bring order to the land and possibly restore it to its former glory. Utsumi doesn't want conflict, but many of his henchpeople do.

Distinctive Visual and Behavioral Theme: The Proven are very clean-cut, and enjoy white garb and well-maintained equipment. They incorporate the Brotherhood of Steel's tech thing, but with a less shiny aesthetic than regular Fallout: their tech is black, boxy, and flat, with a somewhat ENIAC switchboard look. The Proven aren't xenophobic, but they do buy heavily into the myth of "make it on your own", ignoring that they're the ones who found all the fancy toys.

Faction 3: The Hons (The Amoral But Not Necessarily Evil One)

Leader: Attila the Hon, a powerful, motherly woman with a scarred face, stilted way of speaking, and flamboyant feathered overcoat

Goal: To make the world a safe space for arts and performance

Distinctive Visual and Behavioral Theme: Think Baltimore "Hon" culture meets old sword-and-sandal films. They employ press-on claw gauntlets, detachable beehive hairdos filled with angry bees, and floral-patterned lorica armor. As previously mentioned, they ride pinkclaws.

Faction 4: The Criers (Actually Interesting Fourth Choice)

Leader: Mr. Raven, a ghoul and former Edgar Allan Poe reenactor, who tries to use "Nevermore" at any opportunity he can get

Goal: To remember history that would otherwise be forgotten

Distinctive Visual and Behavioral Theme: The Criers dress like a mishmash of historical periods, having been cobbled together relics from historical reenactment societies. They research the history of the Tidewater Expanse, both before and after the Great War. Many of them stay permanently in character.

Companions

Male Unaffiliated Companion: Carl Cramer is the smiling-crab-logo-shirted proprietor of the Crab Mart, the convenience store in the Cape (see below). He can be convinced to come adventuring with you to give the Crab Mart a proper mail-order service. He has no fear, but also no sense of self-preservation, and his morality is heavily centered around whether or not people will be able to acquire snacks and household goods with ease and efficiency.

Female Unaffiliated Companion: Ori Paimana, a tall and friendly woman who runs the Cape Marina, and is perhaps overly eager to talk to you about spears, harpoons, and other implements of pointy death. She makes a mean clam chowder. She can be convinced to come adventuring with you to cover any perceived ineptitude with boats or fear of bay monsters.

Robot Companion: Joanna, a synth who wants to leave Kent (see below) behind and find her own way in the world.

Canine Companion: Dwayyo, a loner, a rambler, a rogue, a Captain Ahab with a twinkle in their eye and significantly better intentions than Ahab. Dwayyo is a humanoid dog-thing on the trail of Schnell Geist (see below); think the Kate Beaton "Nemesis" comics.

Third Nonhuman Companion: Dr. Dinky is a landlurk and a skilled science educator. He is also extremely small and frequently falls on his back. It is implied that he is centuries old and can remember his life before the Great War. (There is a real Dinky, a denizen of the education center at the Smithsonian Environmental Research Center in Edgewater, MD.)

Evil Companion: vehicle and weapons dealer Big Bill Hell isn't a bad person, necessarily. However, he is incredibly foul-mouthed, claims that he'll fuck the spouses of people he dislikes, and will cheat you out of every cent you've got. Has a horrifying "Challenge Pissing" attack.

Faction 1 Companion: Barnacle Billie, an ecologist working for the Watermen. She may or may not have deliberately become a loxo zombie in an ill-thought-out if effective attempt to transition.

Faction 2 Companion: Babs Eldridge, a computer programmer with the Proven. She has a mother and a sister to provide for, and wants them to be safe.

Faction 3 Companion: Sweet Sal, a beehive-sporting protectron who talks in a LARGE, HAMMY VOICE about GLORIOUS COMBAT. May harbor a crush on the Reporter.

Faction 4 Companion: Samuel Smythe, a minuteman with the Criers who fights with an oversized town crier's bell, and loves the idea of spreading news to the Tidewater Expanse.

Other NPCs:

Violetta Vaughn, one of the Criers in Naptown, who's trying to build airships to ease travel in the area.

Schnell Geist, a giant albino Snallygoster. Reputedly intelligent, Schnell Geist is the Moby Dick of the area.

Natty Boh, the flamboyant, one-eyed mayor of More, and Domino, his hulking assaultron bodyguard. Mayor Boh is head-over-heels in love with local desalination plant owner Ms. Utz, but is absolutely terrible at words, leaving Domino to play the Cyrano.

Locations:

Starting Town: the Cape (Cape Saint Claire, an Annapolis suburb). The Cape's primary conflict is a Hatfields-and-McCoys-esque conflict between two families whose initial conflict is implied to have been competing soccer moms.

Small Town 1: the Glen (Glen Burnie). Here you'll meet the Proven, accused (in one case rightly) of atrocities by some local Watermen. There's also a collection of Criers trying to focus on exploring the ruins of BWI.

Small Town 2: Kent (Kent Island). Kent is a Stepford Wives-esque community, with synths (some of whom don't know they're synths) turning out cheerful, idyllic trinkets for people using what remains of the island as a stop on the water routes.

The Big City: More (Baltimore). More is the bustling metropolis, and the trade hub and entertainment center of the Tidewater Expanse. It is the headquarters of the Hons, and where you meet Sweet Sal, as well as Big Bill Hell.

The Less Big City: Naptown (Annapolis). Naptown is abuzz with activity from the Criers, looking to recover historic items, and home to some very good crab places. You'll meet Barnacle Billie here.

The Sketchy City: Edgewood (Aberdeen Proving Ground). Edgewood is full of weapons dealers, mercenaries, and folk seeking to plunder the stores of the Aberdeen Proving Ground. You'll meet Babs Eldridge, and the rest of the Proven, here. The Proven look down upon the rabble of Edgewood.

Faction 1 Headquarters: The Academy, formerly the Naval Academy and now repurposed as the largely pacifist and scientific academy of the Watermen.

Faction 2 Headquarters: the Arsenal, a former army compound near Edgewood.

Faction 3 Headquarters: Hon Street, an enclave located within More, patrolled by pinkclaws and actually a nice, if very loud, place to live.

Faction 4 Headquarters: the Historic London Town and Gardens, remarkably well-preserved.

Scary Sidequest Dungeon: Druid Ridge. A drowned catacomb beneath the former cemetery. Something haunts it. Something powerful and monstrous. Something that you'd mistake for the statuary. Something artificial that came back to its namesake's old resting place…

Funny Sidequest Dungeon: The Maryland State House, final goal of a National Treasure-esque mission the Criers send you on. Its puzzles are … pretty dang goofy.

Tedious and Enormous Sidequest Dungeon: Crabcracker Cove. A giant mirelurk nest where you have to collect samples from every single mirelurk you kill. It takes a long-ass while to get them out.

Super Weird Sidequest Dungeon: Long Bridge. A covered bridge in the north that is far bigger, far darker, and takes far longer to cross than by rights it should. Contains the holographic ghosts and ghost people from Dead Money, way too many crying baby noises, and a Goatman.

The Obligatory Vault: Vault 18. Vault 18 was designed to protect the culinary knowledge of the world, and taught its denizens to treat recipes with ritual importance. Its denizens wear yellow metal armor and plague doctor masks filled with 18 sacred herbs and spices.

I fucking hate Old Bay seasoning.

[ramajmedia]

Big Bang Theory: The 10 Worst Things Amy Has Ever Done, Ranked

While Sheldon may have a problem with the adage, "the more the merrier", it certainly applies to The Big Bang Theory. Initially, the sitcom was about a group of nerdy guys, but when a few girls are added to the mix, it livens up the popular series even more. Among the ladies, Amy Farrah-Fowler is by far the nerdiest. She dresses like a fusty schoolmarm, writes Little House on the Prairie fan fiction, and is brand new to the whole "having friends" thing.

RELATED: Big Bang Theory: 5 Relationships Fans Were Behind (& 5 They Rejected)

While the rest of her group makes an Olympic sport out of hurling insults, Amy is a delightful person to be around. But that doesn't mean she's perfect. She's been known to make the occasional social gaffe and can sometimes be downright disrespectful. Here is Big Bang Theory: The 10 Worst Things Amy Has Ever Done, Ranked.

10 Lies to Sheldon and Penny

When the people you love are being a little too extra, sometimes you need a break. Amy and Bernadette find themselves in this position, both tired about Sheldon and Penny's respective complaining. Thus, the girls lie about their whereabouts and go for drinks alone. Finally able to unwind, Amy and Bernadette enjoy other's company...until they're caught red-handed.

This isn't exactly a friendship felony. It's barely even a misdemeanor. But even white lies can be hurtful when discovered. It would have been a kinder approach for the girls to explain to Sheldon and Penny that they're sympathetic to their problems, but need a break from hearing about them. That would be leaps and bounds better than getting caught with their metaphorical pants down.

9 Has a tantrum about Penny not wanting kids

For a self-proclaimed "bestie", Amy sure isn't supportive of Penny's decision not to have children. Women in Penny's position are constantly shamed, being perceived as "selfish". Never mind the crestfallen Leonard, according to Amy, Penny should be thinking about her. Apparently, Amy has grand plans for her kids and Penny's kids to be friends.

RELATED: Big Bang Theory: 10 Times Amy And Penny Were Friendship Goals

Historically, Amy has relished the idea of being Penny's shoulder to cry on, whether she needs one or not. Here's any instance where Penny actually does, or could at least use a sympathetic ear, and Amy flies into a tirade. Who's really the selfish one here?

8 Lets Ricky the monkey smoke in her apartment

Amy is a neurobiologist who frequently works with animals. One experiment involves exploring addiction in primates. Whether or not you find this kind of research unethical, giving a monkey a cigarette like it's a toy veers much closer into animal cruelty territory. Amy's reasoning for the cigarette is that she's already killing him as part of her research, so why not make him comfortable? Even when doing the wrong thing, Amy is still trying to be a good person, but her logic is definitely flawed.

7 Is a jerk to Wil Wheaton

It turns out that Sheldon's Youtube show, "Fun with Flags" is anything but. Go figure. Yes, it answers all the questions you didn't ask about flags, but behind the scenes, tension brews. This comes to a head when Sheldon asks former nemesis Wil Wheaton to be a guest on the show.

Many believe that Wil is the aggressor here, but it's actually Amy. She repeatedly criticizes Wil's delivery and when he mentions that he's doing this for free, Amy replies that they're still not getting their money's worth. That is a witty, but rather harsh burn. Wil tries to be patient but eventually calls Amy out as a "pain in the ass." It's hardly the most diplomatic thing to say, but Wil's kinda-sorta right. We've seen Wil be exceedingly obnoxious before and this isn't one of those times.

6 Exploits Penny's heartbreak

Leonard and Priya are one of the least shipworthy couples of the series. Characters and viewers alike loathe this pairing. But Amy was not among their number. Quite the opposite, Amy's delighted because it gave her a chance to bond with Penny in hatred toward her ex's new squeeze.

So imagine Amy's disappointment when Penny gives the relationship her blessing. This just won't do. Amy goes out of her way to state a case why Priya is better for Leonard than Penny. Ouch. But Amy has even more to gain by Penny's heartbreak—Amy wants to monitor Penny's brainwaves when she's crying for the purpose of an experiment.

5 Is a terrible date to Stuart

In many ways, Stuart is perfect for Amy. They're both well-meaning, awkward people, who treat loneliness like a second skin. Though Amy's involved with Sheldon, they aren't official. Stuart sees a golden opportunity and, with Sheldon's blessing, asks Amy out.

The date goes fantastically and Stuart can't believe his sheer luck at having scored such a "dynamite lady". But before we can officially ship Stamy, Sheldon changes his mind. He interrupts Stamy's date at the movies, asking Amy to be his girlfriend. She accepts.

Amy has a right to be with whomever she wants, but agreeing to go steady with one man while on a date with another is just cold. Stuart, bless his doormat soul, sees the rest of the date through and even walks Amy home.

4 Becomes the maid of honor from hell

Maid of honor is one of the hardest jobs there is. It requires steely selflessness to be emotional Secret Service to the bride. You need the right person.

Bernadette maybe should have thought twice about asking Amy to be her maid of honor purely out of guilt. We get that Amy has likely never been asked to be in a bridal party, but she takes things a bridge too far by declaring Howard and Bernadette's wedding as her special day. When it looked like the wedding would be called off, Amy was sadder for herself than Bernadette. But the icing on the (wedding) cake is Amy growing irate when Howard and Bernadette decide to have a quickie wedding.

RELATED: Big Bang Theory: The 10 Worst Things Bernadette Has Ever Done, Ranked

3 Guilts Penny into hanging the world's ugliest painting

We'll always cringe at Amy's "bestie" days, when she clung to Penny like a barnacle. This culminates in Amy commissioning a massive—and massively ugly—painting of her and Penny. Amy's so deluded that she doesn't even noticed Penny's pained expression in the painting. Amy presents Penny with this monstrosity of a gift...that she paid $3000 for. Penny hangs it up but takes it down at first opportunity, only for Amy to work the guilt-trip. Thus, Penny re-hangs the painting and it stays there until she moves out.

2 Belittles Howard's achievements

Compared to her boyfriend, Amy has the social grace of Emily Post. But there is an instance that finds Amy taking up one of Sheldon's more unpleasant habits—belittling Howard's achievements. She even goes so far as to refer to Howard's space travel as his "little moment in the sun." That's petty enough, but saying it to Bernadette is just plain cruel. And also a straight-up dumb idea considering what an emotional hell-demon Bernadette can be. Bernie wastes no time in getting right down in the muck with Amy, slinging low blows about Amy and Sheldon's lack of a sex life. Both women say some ugly things but Amy totally started it.

1 Stays with Sheldon way too long

It's hardly a hot take to say that Sheldon was a terrible boyfriend throughout most of his relationship with Amy. And that's not her fault. But here's the thing—Sheldon is no charlatan. He never paints himself as a certain type of suitor in order to woo Amy only to flip the script when he had her in his clutches. He makes it blatantly clear that he requires little to no intimacy in a relationship and expects to give little in return.

Initially Amy is not only onboard but presents herself the same way. But then she changes. Having more solid friendships with Penny and the gang, Amy realizes that she closed off a part of herself. That's great that she's growing, but for the longest time, Sheldon wasn't. We're happy that Shamy got their happily ever after, but in an alternate universe, Amy should have been with someone who deserved her. *Cough...Stuart*

NEXT: Big Bang Theory: The 10 Worst Things Leonard Has Ever Done, Ranked

source https://screenrant.com/big-bang-theory-worst-things-amy-ever-done-ranked/

[loose-leaf-teacanons]

Can you do also kikasa for the otp questions please?

1. Who liked the other first?

Kise. XD He’s not even surprised by it initially, because he gets temporary mini-crushes on people who impress him really easily, especially if they give him a hard time. With Kasamatsu, it’s kind of embarrassing, though – the guy is his captain, and a sour-faced hardass, and he’s not that impressive, okay, self??? Just because he ripped you a new one on your first day doesn’t mean he’s worthy of the dokis! You have standards!

He fully expects the stupid mini-crush to fade, and maybe it would, except Kasamatsu-senpai– (what the hell, self?! could you stop getting the dokis from calling somebody “senpai”? Urgh! …okay could you at least stop getting the dokis harder? /Please/?).

Well, except Kasamatsu-senpai keeps doing all those things Kise never even knew he needed (except for the whole throwing-stuff-at-his-head, though okay, if Kise is perfectly, entirely honest, sometimes he needs that, too. But don’t tell Senpai!!!), and he’s so passionate about basketball, and he works so hard, and he looks after everyone, and he’s got kind of a cute smile (one that sits a bit crooked like it’s not sure it should be staying on his face), and he’s actually pretty cool to be around, and he doesn’t talk down to Kise at all even though he’s really big on the senpai-kouhai stuff, and there’s something about his hard-won but earnest praise that makes Kise want to try ten times harder every time he’s on the receiving end of it, and how weird is that?

It doesn’t fully click for Kise until the Interhigh, where he ends up so taken care of and comforted (and he didn’t even know that was possible after failing to win, because at Teiko you just didn’t fail, period), only to then catch a glimpse of all the hurt and disappointment and frustration that Kasamatsu-senpai went off to bear alone, without letting on how he’s feeling to anyone, and that’s… yep, that’s the sound of Kise’s heart breaking.

That’s when he’s hit with something he hasn’t ever felt before, this overwhelming urge to not just bask in somebody’s company, care and attention but to give something back to them, to do even a little bit for them what they do for him.

That’s the moment it kind of starts dawning on him that this is love. He’s always thought of love as this burst-into-song thing with lots of flirting and pursuing and hearts and flowers and dates, that he never even thought it would actually be this, this “I will protect you and your happiness even if I die trying and even if you never know about it (actually it’s better if you don’t or you’d throw a basketball at me >.>) and I can’t imagine anything better than just seeing you proud and victorious and content.”

So yes, suffice it to say, he is so very, very screwed.

Kasamatsu, for his part, has Kise rather firmly in his “kouhai” drawer the entire time. Yeah, Kise’s special to him (special in the head! *eyeroll*), someone he feels responsible for and who is actually a good kid and pretty good company once you get at the passionate, hard-working, sharp personality buried under all that Teikou crap and the celebrity bullshit.

It’s not until he leaves for university that Kise even gets shuffled into the “friend” drawer (though they’ve been friends before that, obviously, it’s just Kasamatsu’s archaic and painfully earnest idea of senpai-kouhai dynamics that stops him from thinking of them as such), and sure, it’s probably a bit weird for Kise to remain so attached to him (seriously, did I clock him on the head too hard or something?), and it’s probably considerably weirder that Kasamatsu remains attached right back, but whatever, right?

And if he calls him rather more than he calls anyone else, if he schedules all his course load and homework so they get the occasional free weekend to meet up, if he shows up to watch all of Kaijou’s championship matches without fail, if he keeps sending Kise music mixes and remembering his birthday when he can’t remember anyone else’s without consulting his phone first (including his own; July… somethingsomething, right? *checks ID card*), well… anyway, that’s just how it’s always been with Kise.

(That sound you’re hearing, btw, is Moriyama and Kobori synchro-smacking their heads against the wall)

So yeah, Kise has his work cut out for him. XD

2. Where is their ‘special spot’?

Where indeed, senp– ow. Mean!

Kidding aside, I don’t think they really have one. Kise is always drawn to new places – he’s like a human Siri for trendy cafés, shops, movie theaters, music venues, etc. Kasamatsu calls it a skill that’s both amazingly useless and uselessly amazing, and Kise just sticks his tongue out because whatever, Senpai, you just admitted I’m amazing~~~! *sidesteps rib jab*

Kasamatsu himself tends to attach more significance to the events/memories than the places they happened in.

3. How do they cheer one another up?

Depends on what’s wrong, tbh. Kise is kind of a melodramatic handful to begin with, and he can bitch endlessly about small things like some kind of workplace rivalry or whatever, though in such cases he’s usually content to fling himself on the couch in an epic fit of pique and complain about it loudly and emphatically.

Kasamatsu will mostly leave him to it and go about whatever it was he was doing before Kise made his dramatic entrance, and then come back a couple of minutes later and be like, “So, you good?” (and Kise will whine for a while about how callous and disinterested Yukio-san is in his terrible plight, you go to get coffee while the light of your life is suffering from the cruelty and injustice of the wo–ow ow ow not my nooooose!!!)

But yeah, it’s easy to tell when Kise is truly upset because his entire being just dims. In those instances, Kasamatsu doesn’t say much, just holds Kise as he attempts to fold up all 189 cm of himself against Kasamatsu’s chest and maybe have a good cry. Kise will usually tell him what’s wrong after he’s all cried out, and Kasamatsu just stays and listens and tries to help him untangle whatever issue it was for as long as it takes.

Kasamatsu’s upsets are really quiet, and tense, and you can just watch the furrow in his brow deepen, and every fiber of his being tightening, and still he doesn’t say anything and keeps it to himself out of some idiotic idea that he has to be strong and work it all out himself. It’s incredibly frustrating for Kise, who knows he’s not nearly as experienced at comforting people or that good with giving advice, but that doesn’t mean he can’t try, dammit!

What usually happens is he human-barnacles himself to Kasamatsu before he can vibrate out of his skin from all the tension, puts his chin on Kasamatsu’s head and tells him to talk, Yukio-san in a tone that brooks no argument, so Kasamatsu eventually deflates and does.

4. What is their favourite movie to watch together?

They like watching action comedies and sports movies together (and man do they love to rant about how inaccurate the latter often are, seriously, that coach should be fired for such an untenable training regimen and that captain is a complete idiot).

Kise also loves cheesy romance movies and tearjerky K-dramas, though those frustrate Kasamatsu endlessly with their idiotic cliché plots and people’s inability to just fucking talk to each other, what the fuck, so he usually goes to do something else while Kise catches up with the 537th episode of Passion Island or whatever.

Though occasionally he can’t help but overhear something or other and comments on it semi-automatically from across two rooms, like telling the crying heroine to “Just dump that guy, he’s a fucker” and he’s not even doing it to be a smart-ass or anything – like for a moment he’s genuinely giving advice to this idiot character he doesn’t even care about, and Kise suddenly can’t with the cute.

5. When did they know that they are each other’s soul mate?

Oh good god, no. I mean, Kise will sometimes jokingly call them soul mates, but as romantic as that concept is in the context of a movie, he much prefers this relationship where they have to compromise and learn to fit around each other’s little quirks and smooth out each other’s edges, and sometimes they fight, too, but that’s all part of what makes working things out together so worthwhile.

Kasamatsu just doesn’t get the concept, not even in a fictional sense, and it continues to baffle him that people like Moriyama can actually go on a hunt for a “soul mate” in real life, honestly, are you an idiot??? He just finds it so unrealistic that people expect to find someone “perfect” for them, and then have a crisis at the first sign of disagreement or whine about actually having to put in an effort. Moro––hmmmfhfhgh! *snogged within an inch of his life by Kise*

6. Where do they primarily kiss one another out in public? Examples forehead, cheek, hand etc.

They usually don’t? Kasamatsu gets easily embarrassed by PDA in general, plus they’re both mindful of the fact that Kise is becoming an increasingly public figure (once his career really takes off), and one thing they can both do without is having their relationship splayed out and picked apart in stupid gossip columns or lived through vicariously by crazy fans or whatever.

That said, Kise is really good at picking moments or places where nobody’s paying attention. Kasamatsu has found himself tugged into alcoves and behind clothes racks, or pecked in the half-second before he gets out of the car, and then he has to spend fifteen minutes getting rid of his flaming face. Urgh.

7. Who goes all out for the other persons birthday?

Nah. They’re both pretty low-key with each other. It’s all small, practical gifts and cake, mostly. Sometimes they’ll organize old team get-togethers for the occasion, but yeah, it’s all pleasantly uncomplicated.

8. Whose clothes is too big for the other, but they wear them anyway?

I’ve said it before, but I will say it again: Kise is simply heart-broken that Kasamatsu refuses to wear any of his clothes, and that he himself is too big to fit any of Kasamatsu’s. Sometimes he’ll steal a sweater to drape over his shoulders and be all pouty because that’s the best he can manage.

9. Who is the one who stays up late baking brownies and dancing in their underwear wearing a baggy shirt, and who is the one who comes down to see the other being all cute?

I’m sorry, I still find the idea kinda creepy in general. XD And they? Are so not the type to do this, even if this were a thing people actually did.

10. Would they cuddle even though it is super hot outside?

Kise tries, peels away ten seconds later to complain about how it’s too hot to do this, tries again half a minute later only to establish that it’s still too hot to do this, and this’ll go on until Kasamatsu threatens to dump his ass on the floor.

[queen-mabs-revenge]

Alright, @mossandmushroom, call off the p0.rn bots! Thing the third. Just under a year old, this one – started after 5.15, as will become obvious. This still needs some (read: a fucking lot of) work, if I’m honest, but the point of this exercise is to stop sitting on things while looking up literacy rates in the early 18th century, so…

Jones Brothers backstory meta that kind of morphed into fic because that’s how I roll. As you can imagine, this is not a happy time. Mentions of minor character death, corporal punishment, and oblique references to spec (spawned by this post yep, surprise surprise @nothingimpossibleonlyimprobable is involved!) as to the reason why Killian started drinking in the first place.

It isn’t completely terrible at first.

Mama had always let them read over her shoulder at night, and it wasn’t long before she was guiding them through sounding out the words themselves – a kiss on the head for every particularly difficult one; her having to break up squabbles because Liam would snigger when Killian stumbled over a word he’d worked out years ago – first Liam, then Killian in turn. They learned quickly.

And whenever Father would return home, Liam would accompany him to the merchant’s office listening intently to the numbers being volleyed back and forth while negotiations for prices were being made. The first time he tried to barter his way out of eating sprouts because he’d calculated that he’d eaten more than enough this year already, Father almost inhaled his ale he was laughing so hard at the look of astonishment on Mama’s face.

And Captain Barrow is terrifying with his wiry white hair and deeply lined face, but he sees value where value lies, if nothing else, and another sure hand and a head for numbers is something he puts straight to good use. And if Killian peers over the edge of the desk at Liam’s graceful letters that look like Mama’s did, and runs his fingers reverently along the complicated instruments keeping the maps from snapping shut, the captain doesn’t shoo him away to help in the mess all the time.

That’s not to say it isn’t terrible at times. Food is scarce, days are long and hard, and sometimes Killian looks over the wrong person’s shoulder (he doesn’t mean to get in the way, but everything is so new) and he might get a cuff tossed his way, but the nights of inconsolable crying had ended when he realised that Father wasn’t coming to collect them at the next port, or the one after that, and any outbursts borne of general frustration or exhaustion are easily silenced with a look from Liam, or an arm around the shoulder.

But the Captain is already past his prime, and it was only a matter of time before the harsh sea air settled into his lungs. A few short years after Brennan disappears, Liam transcribes the Captain’s last will and testament and Killian hauls away buckets of bloody rags that remind him too much of half-dreamlike memories of the bare glimpses he caught of Mama’s bedroom before he was shooed away out of sight.

Captain Barrow’s death leaves too many accounts to settle, and two boys who can’t haul full weight (a boy and a young man, really – but Liam had begged…) were luxuries that could not be spared; the new captain – the old first mate who often acted annoyed, but would slip them extra bread after supper eyes them dolefully as their title is sold to balance the books.

And as the negotiations are going on, and the other ship’s quartermaster eyes Liam’s broad frame and Killian’s skinny, awkward legs, Killian realises that if this man wants Liam and not him, there’s nothing they can do to stop it. If the man doesn’t want to spend the silver, or doesn’t need a boy of letters there’s no need for him. He can’t stop this. He can’t change this. His world narrows, darkens around the edges, the haggling voices fade into the background and his breath starts coming quickly. He looks up at Liam for something, anything, but his brother is staring straight ahead silently and calmly. Killian doesn’t miss the twitch in his jaw, a silent warning, when he catches Killian’s trembling and fidgeting in the corner of his eye. And Killian doesn’t understand how he’s doing nothing, when it’s taking everything in him to not grab Liam’s hand and run like hell. How can he be so calm when this matters so much? Killian focuses his simmering anger on his brother’s every calm and measured breath as the deal is struck.

He doesn’t talk to Liam for the first few days on the new ship – he doesn’t talk to anyone, really. The new captain is a vastly different breed, and the bo’sun is a mean fucker, and Killian vents his anger on various and sundry inanimate objects around the deck while silently doing what he’s told. Which of course gets the eye from the bo’sun. Not that Killian notices in his rage; he pointedly ignores Liam’s continued attempts to calm him, and after three days of this tantrum, he gets slapped hard for yanking the net he’s meant to be untangling out of a crew member’s hands. He breaks down sobbing when Liam tends to his split and blooded cheek in the hold.

But from that point on, the anger never really goes away, because he’s twelve years old and he knows that his life is not his own. And he’s made sure to know it every time his anger spills over into defiance, which in turn gets him harsher and harsher punishments, which serve as further reminders of his powerlessness, which feeds the fire that smoulders away in his heart. And it becomes so easy to provoke him, and some opportunistic crew members find out that riling the angry slave is a terribly amusing way to pull rank. And when Liam steps in to protect him from being baited, that’s when Liam starts to get beat for insubordination as well.

And he doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know what to do because it’s his fault and he tries so hard to ignore them and let it go for Liam’s sake but he can’t bottle up his anger. He can’t stop himself.

Then there’s the time when the ship has been listing due to a windless few days and everyone’s on edge. He’s toed off balance by a hard shoulder from the bo’sun while leaning over the rail trying to scrape some particularly tenacious barnacles off the side of the ship. When he stumbles back out of harm’s way, he’s grabbed by the back of the neck and ordered to go pick the maggots out of the hard tack. He yanks himself out of the man’s grasp with a growl, and kicks out at a coil of rope while stomping away. 

And then he hears the captain call out his brother’s name. 

And suddenly his heart is in his throat and his stomach has dropped to the floor because the captain is hauling Liam to his feet and he’s confused and terrified until he hears the man snarling something about Liam not being able to teach the boy some respect after all and then the knotted end of a thick bit of rope is being dragged across Liam’s back as he bends over grasping white-knuckled at the rail. And Killian is struck dumb with horror, because it’s not like other times when Liam would stand up to someone bullying him, Liam wasn’t doing anything at all and he’s still getting flogged because of him. And he goes white as a sheet and staggers a step back as the breath leaves his lungs. A crew member can’t resist but to push his shoulder and sneer about useless mouths getting what they deserve, and Killian finds that where his fists would usually be flying in frustration, he’s too horror-struck to even register the provocation.

And later, lying in bed, Liam’s bruised and welted back to him, he can’t stop thinking about that moment. Because he didn’t fight back. He was so numbed from the scene that he couldn’t. Liam shifts a little and he can hear the tiny moan of pain that his brother tries to bite back, and as the tears leak silently from the corners of his eyes, he knows he’d do anything to feel nothing again.

[archetypal-conte-blog]

“I’ve killed you, Scout. I had to” – Atticus Finch                                          A sweet yet rather heart-wrenching nostalgia with Harper Lee’s 2nd novel ‘Go Set a Watchman’

Despite the gyrating controversies around the publication of the second novel by Harper Lee entitled ‘Go Set a Watchman’, the convulsion of joy and giddiness filled with a thousand of nostalgic butterflies is undeniable due my longing to the beloved characters; Scout, Jem , Atticus, Dr. Finch, and even old-fashioned Aunt Alexandra. This 2015 published novel had successfully brought back some precious old friends, and it was not just meeting them again that made me ecstatic but to get the glimpse of what kind of individuals have the characters become years after was the thing that made me incredibly content (read: sobbing) by the time I finished the book cover-to-cover.

           Firecracker of emotion bursting to all directions is, I think, the only perfect expression that I could say about how I actually feel when I read the novel. As I have, and I believe you all have too, the feeling of attachment with the characters after reading the first published novel To Kill a Mockingbird. We all probably are able to affiliate on certain adjectives and description if we come across anyone asking about who Scout or Atticus are. So, it is probably natural if we expect them to stay the same way for it is sometimes painful to see a small pebble of change could break the gigantic wall of perspective we already have about them. I feel practically involved with the characters to the point where I could find my heart summersaulting by any changes and conflicts among characters in the story, and yes it was among the characters hence saying that I’m heartbroken maybe an understatement. I was crushed to pieces and perished to see my castle of formed-perspective being attacked so viciously. Occasionally, I would be smiling during the reading when faced with sweet memories of their childhood, especially in the case of Jem flashbacks (darling Jem who has passed too soon for my liking) and Dr. Finch.  But, most of the time I was frowning and yelling and the other time I was simply left utterly speechless accompanied by hopeless sigh and teary eyes.

           Now, I may seem like talking riddles but if you just pay attention a bit closely, I’ve mentioned changes and conflicts. What really happened? the answer to this is probably the most relatable piece of occurrence that we all know too well sometimes we hope doesn’t happen. The answer is the unavoidable hell of growing up with billion possibilities and new experiences down the road and even endless chances of us screwing up, and, well, of course endless chances of happiness as well. Scout Finch was no longer a little girl who worried about getting pregnant because of a simple kiss nor upset about losing a tire rolling game with Jem.

The novel portrayed a more complex problems of adulthood from the eye of the strong-willed and idealistic Scout Finch. Just like each and every one of us growing up, Scout came back with a new outlook of the world formed by years of living in New York city, far from her home in Maycomb though her personality traits remained the same as she was still brave, strong-willed, outspoken, and somewhat hot-blooded like ever before. Differently, as she has developed her own perspective and identity apart from her previously formed perspective by the years of learning with and looking up to her beloved father, I think she was even more hot-blooded and pretty much seemed a bit too impulsive for her own good. This was the time I was frowning the most for I had an internal battle about this newfound emotional trait my beloved Scout had, one time I thought she was overreacting but in another, I felt that what she did was not out of character thus sensible. Each time she was confronted by opposing values, she became very defensive and by the end she exploded because of the same reason. Easily enough, that explosive of emotion scene became my favorite part of the novel because it was the moment where the plain hard truth was shoved harshly to my head, and just like what Atticus said, “I’ve killed you, Scout. I had too”, I was killed as well. Sometimes, someone ought to splash you with a bucket of cold water just to wake you up and open your eyes, indeed. It was harsh but it was necessary from time to time.

In short, my summersaulting heart and somewhat hyperbole expression of “crushed and perished” were pretty much about how I felt when this dynamite conflict between Scout and Atticus (and a bit of everyone else including Dr. Finch, Aunt Alexandra, and Henry – her lover) blew up right to my face. Thankfully, Lee made it worth it to be murdered because later I was resurrected with a freshly cut layer of new perspective and a meaningful lesson (book can do that, I know, it’s amazing). I believe, it is what Harper Lee always did best and what made me fall in love with her novels in the first place, a simple and blunt narration with an incredibly relatable life lessons.  

Now that I’ve mentioned about the conflict and the Atticus quote, I probably need to elaborate more about what was actually happening according to what I comprehend since I believe there were a lot more to it than what my silly mind can decipher. Scout found that Atticus joined the city council that tried to prevent Blacks to be granted citizenship and the right to work in a state institution and she was outraged because it was Atticus who taught her to respect people regardless their color. I was a bit upset but my high pedestal for Atticus has not been ruined yet, I believed that he has his reason. Atticus has always been a great character for he always been the wisest, the most sound-minded, the best father anyone could hope for. As the novel was always delivered by Scout’s point of view who put her father in a high and mighty pedestal parallel to God who made no mistakes, I admired Atticus and did the same thing. During the confrontation between Scout and Atticus, the truth unravels and I was completely baffled by what Atticus said about the fact that he did not want Blacks, whom he called the backwards, crowding their state institutions and given citizenship freely because they were seen incapable. Here comes the part where I was yelling and screaming and at some point left utterly speechless I need to close the book for a while to take a deep deep breath. This was also the moment where my Atticus pedestal started to crumble to the ground. The intense arguments between Scout and Atticus made me emotionally exhausted and it was when Atticus said, “I’ve killed you, Scout, I have to” and, “But, I love you” that my tears began to fall.

           At last, it was the one and only Dr. Finch who resurrect me from the dead by giving the harsh yet appeasing truth. He said, “…every man’s island, Jean Louise, every man’s watchman, is his conscience. There is no such thing as collective conscious…you are born with your own conscience and somewhere along the line fastened it like a barnacle onto your father’s. As you grew up, totally unknown to yourself, you confused your father with God. You never saw him as a man with a man’s heart, and a man’s failings…you were an emotional cripple, leaning on him, getting the answers from him, assuming that your answers would always be his answers. When you happened along and saw him doing something that seemed to you to be the very antithesis of his conscience – your conscience, you literally could not stand it. You have to kill yourself, or he had to kill you to get you functioning as a separate entity.”. Everything made sense again, everything fell into place, a new place different from before but a place nevertheless.

           I had doubt the first time I read a few pages of the novel, I thought I wouldn’t like it as much as I love the first one. That happens sometimes, especially with my knowledge of a vow made by Lee about not wanting to publish another novel. But I can’t help myself to fall head over heels again with this second novel because it has a bit of everything relatable narrated with an amazing tale telling skill. It highlights matters about family, romance, gender, and the signature race issue Lee always has. And, just like I said, to be able to meet our beloved friends again especially seeing what kind of individuals they have become made it exceptionally worth it to read.