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victoriadallonfan · 7 months

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Mistborn: Well of Ascension Review

Is It Good: Yes

Does It Have Flaws: A lot

Is It Problematic: Sometimes

Would You Reread: No

Would You Recommend: Yes

Spoilers below

I’ve listened to positive and negative reviews of this book to help formulate my thoughts

So overall, I think there’s a great book buried underneath a slog of really repetitive material.

Brandon is great at writing a mystery, but it’s hindered by the fact that we get incredibly uninteresting scenes that just have Elend, Vin, Zane doing the same song and dance over and over again.

I was 200% more invested in Sazed investigating the Hero of Ages compared to the political drama Elend and Vin dealt with. Or Vin dealing with “wanting to wear a dress” (more on that later).

I really love how Eldritch and Sinister the cosmology is, even as I knew from Stormlight Archives what it would be. It’s handled far more horrific here in a good way compared to Stormlight, which was a letdown imo, so this was enjoyable.

I also really love Sazed’s magical abilities. Allomancy is neat, but the story points out that Mistborn are just.. so powerful they make other Allomancers feel pointless, worldbuilding wise. But Sazed’s powers are more limited while also being far more interesting in applications, so I loved that we got to see that more in depth.

Most of the characters are good, and enjoyable, even Breeze.

Now for the bad.

Breeze and Allrianne relationship is just… disgusting. I really don’t understand the purpose of having a near 40 year old man having sex with a barely legal woman who just recently turned legal iirc. Why was this added as a story beat? Why are some of the characters that aren’t Vin and OreSeur not more grossed out by it?

And no, having the “she seduces me!” reveal does not help.

Secondly, none of the antagonists are good. Sure, they are hateable, but they all lack any sort of impact. Zane is the worst because he is quite possibly the most cookie-cutter CW Bad Boy stereotype in existence, monologuing like a bad anime character about how “we are different”/“why do we listen to them?”/“they just don’t understand us” ala Lysanderoth. And he dies from the worst “reveal” I’ve ever seen; it was so cool how Vin used pewter dust to blind the Inquisitors and improvised weaponry to bypass the skill gap. Here it’s just: “Lmao I just wait to attack bypass your precog, get good”, which I’m pretty sure does not track at all with what we see in the first book (or this one).

Despite Lord Ruler having little presence in the first book, he at least had PRESENCE

Finally, the way this book handles women and skaa is just so odd. It feels as if the story/characters/Brandon treat women as having a hive mind for being obsessed with fashion; in fact, it’s part of Vins struggle that she loves dresses but can’t find the “strength” to wear them. Meanwhile, no male character obsessed over fashion nearly as much, even Breeze who admits part of his design is an act for others. Likewise, there’s no woman who thinks fashion is stupid or just indifferent.

I don’t hate the idea of Vin struggling with newfound femininity vs her own biases, but it’s just so blandly set up that I can’t feel invested.

And I will lose my damned mind if I have to hear one more “you can never understand a woman”/“teenage girls aren’t rational” comment, even from other women characters!

Also, besides Tyndl and Vin, there aren’t any really any women in power nor is that explored. Even Allrianne - who is just… meh as a character over all - has no political power without her father and she’s basically a femme fatale cliche as well. None of the Skaa have female leaders, for example.

And speaking of Skaa, those poor guys. Going from brave freedom fighters and rebellions, even prior to Kelsier, to idiots who are treated as fools who need the privileged Elend and his like to guide them all to the right answer (or they become manipulated or are in fact corrupt). I don’t even hate Elend, but the way Brandon puts him in this position is just such a shame. The story doesn’t even let him explore his ingrained classism or racism/specism for the Skaa or Kandra

Like I said, there’s a great book under all this stuff. But it’s pulled down by - in my opinion - a lot of faults that verge on problematic.

Good but it could be better

#mistborn #well of ascension #Mistborn well of ascension #cosmere #brandon sanderson

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saccharinemeat · 2 years

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hi! VERY strong anti here. trying to be civil. just genuinely asking, why do you like proships. genuinely. why. what makes them so good to you? to me, they, well, make me feel nauseous and gross. sometimes even violated depending on what it is. what about these, honestly, gross ships is so good to you? what makes you think they're good? i'm not looking for an argument. just,, answers.

Alright, I'll answer in good faith here, because i really appreciate not picking a fight or an argument

First off, please, don't say , "you like proships" proship doesn't mean "problematic ships", it means "pro" (as in favor of) shipping, that is to say, it's an anti harassment stance on letting people do whatever they want, based off the old fandom saying "ship and let ship"

you dont need to like problematic ships to be proship, you just need to be against harassment of people who enjoy darker or more 'edgy' media, and that's it

As for you question in itself, it's complicated, some problematic ships i enjoy stem from my own trauma and family issues, particularly my abusive mother. Reading and making content with parental incest gives me comfort through the fact that its an inconditional , codependent love. In fiction it feels comforting, but i know reality is way different first hand.

For age gap ships, theres a whole aspect about having someone take care of you, and also again, love regardless of situation, plus there is self insertion as it makes me think of back when i was a teen and had crushes on older people. I couldn't act on them, and I knew that any adult willing to date a child is no good. But within fiction,you can write about it and it would be harmless, generally speaking

For dead dove or more problematic stuff,such as abusive relationships, theres again the desire for love no matter what, and the situations those develop in, are usually trauma bonding for the involved characters

Now, these are not the ONLY reasons i enjoy such ships. There's also the aspect that i just like some of them aesthetically, or i see their chemistry in a romantic light, Or i have a streak of sadism towards a certain character.

Another reason is the potential for interesting fan content, particularly fanfiction, wholesome ships are sweet and cute and can be hot even, but it's all very by the book. The exploration of their emotions, thoughts and actions in messed up situations is more interesting to me

For sibling incest particularly, i just feel that they're usually developed in such a way that it can easily be seen as romantic, since we spend so much time with them, and seeing them fight and bond and laugh and promise to be together, that it just clicks different

and, It's understandable that you feel nauseated and grossed out by a lot of these, in fact, there are problematic ships and tropes i hate and despise, despite the fact that i love other messed up content for example

- I hate bully/victim ships

- I hate uncle/niece ships

- I hate cheating stories

- I hate forced feminization

- I dislike enemies to lovers

- I dislike anything involving characters I consider too young

- I dislike vomit and sick fic

a lot of people love these! but i dont! some of them make my skin crawl! but i dont go and yell at them, i dont comment on their things, I just block them and move on, and focus on the stuff i DO like ,which is what i generally suggest

Fictional exploration of darker stories is okay, and generally harmless. I know the argument that it can be used to groom people, but truly, that's not the fault of the content or its creator, the blame is fully on the groomer.

Also, if we started banning or bashing things that can be used to groom others, we'd have to ban stuff like plushies, candy, adult collectionists of cartoon merch, comics, books,etc etc

ANYTHING can be used to groom a person, if there's a groomer targeting them. nothing is safe if there's an actual pro contact pedophile with the intention to groom a child. The only way to prevent these things is to be taught about them, and to learn to not take life advice from fanfiction, which should be a given.

Like seriously, think about it. let's see, a safe hobby, non fandom related....

okay, imagine theres a minor who's very interested in learning about history and historical maps of the world.

This kid joins an unsupervised group online, and talks about wanting to make friends, and does make some nice, age appropriate friends

They feel generally safe online

Then,a groomer targets them, befriends them and brings up the fact that they collect maps, and they love history just like the kid.

then moves into talking about 'old customs' and starts planting the idea that old societies were in the right about child marriage and so on, until they actually gets what they want, and commits a crime.

The groomer didn't need a fanfic to convince the kid

they just needed to manipulate the child into trusting them, using whatever the kid liked.

who do you think it's at fault here?

the kid? the history book? the group? the internet? Nope.

It's the groomer's fault for targeting the child

and it's the parent's fault for not teaching online safety to their kid.

#not cookie content #proship #shipcest #grooming mention #csa mention

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orangepanic · 4 months

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What are your thoughts on the 'problematic' ships in atla/tlok? You know, incest, big age gap, etc

I'm very firmly ship and let ship, don't like don't read. Are there things that personally squick me out? Absolutely! Are there ships that make me wonder what's wrong with someone that they could want to write that, let alone share it, or why anyone would possibly want to read it, either? Of course. Do I have blocked tags, muted authors, and stuff I deliberately exclude from searches because I hate it so much I don't even want to see it, even just to scroll past? Totally do. I'd go nuts if I didn't.

And yet - and this is the important part - all of that is about ME. I don't like it. I don't want it. I sometimes hate that someone made it. But I firmly believe that in the totality of human history very little, if anything, has come from the censorship of fiction. What is "problematic" changes over time, and is a feature of one's individual absorption of culture and moral beliefs and preferences. There was a time in history where incest was fine - look at most European royal families, or the common marriage of first cousins in the U.S. until very recently. There was a time in history where a lord raping every woman in the area on her wedding night was also fine, or when male guests coming to the house were routinely provided one of the unmarried daughters to sleep with. There was a time when women riding bicycles was considered a disease. There was a time not all that long ago when depicting a same sex relationship was illegal - see the Hays Code in film. Also, someone told me we can't like The Time Traveler's Wife - a book that was a bestseller only 20 years ago - because it's now problematic to have an older man time travel back to his younger wife. I even hear kids these days think showing your bare feet is enabling an apparently huge population of foot fetish pedophiles to get off on all the feet of children? 10,000 years of human beings wearing sandals but now we're at risk it seems. And there are people in this fandom right now who argue Irosami is disgusting age gap ship even though it was originally supposed to be canon, was fairly popular when the show came out, and Pema and Tenzin are 15 years apart (which nobody seems to mind).

I guess what I'm trying to say is, who died and made me or anyone else the moral arbiter of fiction? Because once you go down that road you have to start making decisions on what it means for something to be "problematic." How big an age gap is too big? How close a relation is too close? Can my characters wear sandals? And then you get stuff like "sibling-coded" and three-year age gaps being problematic and fandom police as you open the door to more and more restrictions on fake people in fake worlds doing fake things with each other to the point that, if you're not careful, the only thing a transformative work is allowed to do is regurgitate canon in a way that defeats the entire point of creative writing, fandom, and fanworks. Even if I don't like a specific ship or piece, I do believe society is better in aggregate for having fewer restrictions on creativity, not more.

So I choose to reject the entire principle that I have any right to consider anyone else's ship or work wrong. If I don't like it, I have the tools to curate my own experience.

#ask #long post #ship and let ship

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ladamedusoif · 1 year

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Hi! I've just read 20/20 and it's so good👓

May I just say that I admire the way you write not only in general, but also that you write Pedro characters fanfiction without massive age gap? I like those too, but god, there are tons of it and it became sooo hard to find Joel (bc 80% of age gap fics is about Joel) being happy with a woman of his age.

I happen to think more and more lately that older women seem more real, thus more interesting to read - young girls are all pretty with their sexy young bodies, etc., and the older you get, the more insecurities you have, and you believe somebody like Joel or Ben has plenty of options when in fact they probably want somebody to feel comfortable with, somebody who they can laugh with *looks at Lydia*

I guess, sometimes young reader is too perfect. How could real person like me ever compete with that? Imperfect characters are comforting and real (they suffer to make us feel better, they're our heros) and they evoke real feelings, you care about them. That's why I love to read non-age gap work when I see one.

Anyway, sorry for rambling, thank you!!🤍

*throws hearts at you and running away*

First, thank you so much for the lovely words about my writing! Here are some hearts in return: 💜💜💜

Honestly, this kind of ask means the world. I’m so grateful and so honoured.

A warning: this will be a long answer. Sorry!

I genuinely felt emotional when I read your words about my decision to write in a way that is either no/minimal age gap or where the reader’s age isn’t specified (because this is possible, and is arguably far more inclusive for reader insert). I particularly like that you’ve chosen to focus on why older OFCs/reader characters are more interesting, rather than on the extreme age gap trope.

I can’t deny that the age gap trope is the dominant one in this fandom’s fic at the moment - most obviously for Joel, but also for other characters. And I sometimes wonder if Visiting would have more notes and engagement if Lydia was a student, not Ben’s contemporary and perfect equal - intellectually, emotionally, in every way.

But as you say: Lydia has a life, has lived, and is imperfect physically and emotionally, like us all. She’s interesting for all those reasons, and more. That’s why Ben is drawn to her, and she to him. (I sometimes wonder how people would feel if the age gap trope was reversed, with a much older OFC paired with a younger P boy…)

This is also why characters like @fuckyeahdindjarin’s Cee and Sugar, in Seams and Palomino respectively, or @lunapascal’s Andie in Curls, or @julesonrecord’s Eva in Shots, or @iamskyereads Beatrice in Compulsion, or the many other no age gap/no age specified characters and reader inserts in the fanfic are so gorgeously engaging. You get it - they’re real.

They’re not all thin, pert, visions of youth as beauty and beauty as youth. Ageing is a privilege, and it hurts me, really and truly, to see the implication that only youth is attractive in so much of the fanfic in a fandom dedicated to a man who has aged so beautifully.

I know people who have been subjected to anonymous abuse over this issue, which insists they’re just angry old women because “hot celebs won’t fuck you”.

I’m passionate about this for all sorts of reasons. I am more than a little unsettled by the vision of Joel, in particular, as exclusively attracted to much, much younger girls. I sometimes feel that some of the explanations for why age gap is good or better are somewhat problematic (that’s just my opinion, before anyone yells at me, but it’s rooted in experience and the fact that I work with many college-aged people and know the consequences of the age gap fantasy when it hits reality). And there are broader implications for the message being sent to younger readers about ageing, attraction, and female sexuality, which my feminist brain is furious about.

Finally, I am struck by the fact that we often see posts about how the fic world is a broad tent, and that there’s room for everything. Yet when people ask for more fic that doesn’t repeat the age gap trope, or some of us write fics that explicitly avoid that, there’s a reaction against that.

Sigh. You see why you didn’t need to apologise for rambling, for I am a rambling Rose, and endlessly grateful for your kind words and wonderful support. Here’s to a more diverse menu of fic on the dash - the tide does seem to be turning. You may have seen the post that’s been doing the rounds where @tessa-quayle has very helpfully compiled a list of fic that doesn’t involve an age gap or DBF/daddy thing - it’s really good on the need for more diverse reading.

PS: a more general query for the dash: is this such a massive trope in other 40-something male actor fandoms??

#I’m really passionate about this topic #as you can tell #if there’s room for all kinds then there’s room for all kinds #including work that just doesn’t mention an age #or explicitly shows the OFC/reader insert as older than the 20-something norm #just struck by people going on the defensive as soon as anyone does some posts compiling no age gap/no age fic #hmmmmm #writing thoughts #support your local fanfic writer

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sapphire-weapon · 1 year

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Sorry to bring more discourse to your blog, but it's about the whole "problematic" shipling thing, because it's a part of older RE plot, that absolutely does my head in. It doesn't fucking make sense. We can talk ALL day about how Leon is canonically responsible for genocides. It's canon that these things have happened because he never has the backbone to finish the job or manage his feelings like a grown adult. It's an interesting talk, but it's NEVER (or very barely) addressed that way in the actual material. His whole "turn the other cheek, because he needs a vague romance" trope is really just one massive fucking plot hole and I don't know why people aren't completely pissed about it. His messy narrative is one of my least favourite things in the series. It almost turns me off of his games and movies entirely. I enjoyed REmake, 7 and 8 the most because at least the characters add up. Their motivations are clear. It's a fully formed story and we know who does what and why. They just haven't fucking done that with Leon. They can't decide on whether to flesh him out properly or to keep throwing him early naughts b-movie tropes that arguably, just make him less likeable (to me).

Sorry for the rant. But holy shit. Anything about his character outside of "I'm angry, let's shoot" has been fucking terrible, in my eyes. They have no idea what to do with him. His choices constantly fucking contradict themselves. He's like a nonstop, unstable "what to doooo?" asshole and I DON'T KNOW WHY ANYONE ELSE ISN'T MAD ABOUT THE CONSTANT PLOT HOLES AND SENSELESS BULLSHIT THIS CHARACTER DOES I HONESTLY DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW HE BECAME MORE POPULAR THAN CHRIS, CLAIRE, WESKER, HUNNIGAN, ETHAN AND JILL OTHER THAN "HE HAS COOL BANGS AND TELLS JOKES SOMETIMES" LIKE WHAT?

I know I'll get roasted and shredded for saying it, but jesus christ man, it's such an enormous pet peeve of mine. I just want the remakes to finish their job of understanding that Leon hasn't been written well and he's gotta be fixed. That Ashley actually has a whole load of potential and Ada has only ever been an empty, racist and sexist stereotype that can't be fixed unless they bother to actually write any sort of story for her other than "sexy Asian is mean sometimes, but her terrorism is okay because the emo boy kissed her this one time and has known her for a combined 15 hours."

Phew. I am mad. I'm sorry for exposing you to this. I've only gotten into RE like less than a year ago and the stupidity and lack of literacy and analysis in this fucking fanbase is crazy to me. If I see one more "sibling coded toxic age gap, Leon is flawless omg ashley little girl so silly" post I'm going to shave my head. Even my phone is glitching because it can't keep up with my seemingly very unpopular rager.

homie i'mma need u to fuckin breathe and understand that this is the same series where the only reason that the main villain ever had to hate the main protagonist was the fact that the main protagonist laughed at his science project -- and then that detail was retconned out of the remake, and now there's no reason for wesker to hate chris at all, actually.

this is the same series that killed off its main villain way too prematurely, realized immediately that they fucked up by doing it, and, instead of just retconning it and bringing him back, they tried to "oops! all weskers!" it, then didn't know what to do with that, then just decided to write it so that he had a son, but then nobody liked him, either, and now they're just going FUCK IT LET'S JUST REMAKE THE WHOLE THING.

this is the same series that is so unabashedly and unrepentantly racist that it sends its white american protagonist into the heart of africa, whereabouts he encounters a village with actual mud huts in it, where the townspeople are dressed in actual tribal clothing, and they chuck actual literal spears at him.

this is the same series where the creators openly admitted to not allowing their main female protagonist to visibly age because they thought it'd hurt their bottom line.

this is the same series where the objectively best title in it has a story that's so fucking bad that the dude who wrote and directed it said that he'd only support a remake of it if the remake fixed his shitty fucking story and actually told a good one.

this is the same series where rachel fucking foley exists and is meant to be taken seriously.

this is the same series where a dude fucking a spider is, questionably and arguably, canon.

leon is not remotely the worst part of resident evil's storytelling, nor is ada the most offensively racist part of it. THE ENTIRE NARRATIVE OF RESIDENT EVIL IS NONSENSE DOG GARBAGE. leon and ada are just par for the course.

if you are not a raccoon and/or opossum who enjoys gorging yourself on garbage, perhaps resident evil is not the series for you.

that's why they called it raccoon city in the first place.

because the playerbase must inevitably be filled with raccoons, because only raccoons would enjoy the sheer amount of garbage that the story throws at them.

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skloomdumpster · 1 year

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Thank you for tagging me @crazycatfaery <3 I'm sorry I took so long 😅😅

Rules: How much do these tropes affect your decision to click on a fic?

-10 -> very dissuaded

0 -> don’t care either way

10 -> very enticed

nope -> if it’s a hard no and you’d never click on a fic with that tag or or you even have the tag blocked or you’d insta click out of the fic if it wasn’t tagged.

Bonus points for explaining the rating and whether it’s conditional

Age Gap: 7/10

I love it, but I'll only read it if the Dead Dove Do Not Eat tag is there. I want to read it from an author who's aware they're writing an age gap, especially if we're talking toxic/problematic ships. If we're all in agreement in this room, then HELL YEAH.

Codependency: 100/10

Love it. I love it between love interests, I love it between family members, I love it between enemies even. Characters who only exist and see themselves as a paired up thing with another character. If I see that tag in any work the chances of me clicking on it double.

Enemies to lovers: -5/10

Eh... Sure if it's okay enemies to lovers, as in they're actual enemies and they want each other dead and then we turn it back around. Alright, sure. But honestly? 9/10 times people are writing mild-annoying acquaintance to lovers. I hate that. And even when they ARE writing real enemies to lovers, sometimes the "lovers" part doesn't live up to the "enemies" part.

Enemies With Benefits: 10/10

It's rare and I love it, but it's a tricky trope to get right. You can't remove the "enemies" aspect from it. I've seen this done right (cough - John Ross/Pamela), but I've also seen it butchered many times.

Fake Dating/Relationship: 3/10

Cute and all, but I won't click on a fic because of it.

Found Family: -1000/10

Nope. Most of the time people mean "found nuclear family" and then I'm forced to watch as these characters act completely wacky and ooc. I adore a good found family, but seeing this tagged in a work is a surefire way to have me not click it. (also let's just please stop with the weird subtrope of putting the favorite-white-guy of the group as the "tradwife/mom"??? what the FUCK is this? I've seen it in Teen Wolf, I've seen it Fate, I've seen it in Fast and Furious... just nope.)

Friends To Lovers: 100/10

Perfection. You want pining? You got a forest of pines. You want yearning? You want italicized oh moment? You want harmless jealousy? You want hilarious cutesy moments? You want deep conversations? You want confessions that fix something broken inside of you? You want a love so deep and profound that it has grown and changed and it'll change again if you won't take me as a lover because a friend is good too, is great even?? You want STAKES because I-love-you-but-I-don't-want-to-ruin-this-because-you're-the-best-thing-in-my-life??? Perfect trope. No notes.

Friends With Benefits: 10/10

The same as above + sex. Can't go wrong.

Hurt/Comfort: 100/10

Bathe my blorbo in their own blood!! Whump the shit out of them!! Put them through hell!! Make the caretaker fear for their life!! Get the begging and bargaining out and the wheezing confessions through bloody coughs. Love this.

Love Triangle: 0/10

It sure exists.

Mistaken/Hidden Identity: 0/10

I don't think I ever read this, don't think I ever will either.

Monster Fu… Relationship: 5/10

Sure, but only if it's a werewolf. Team Jacob forever.

Obsession, Possessiveness, etc: 10/10

Fuck yeah. Yes in good, deliciously toxic ships, but also YES in good, healthy ships. The golden ships, made up of two righteous characters and you wouldn't expect this and then BAM. The other day I read fic that was like "[redacted] had often fantasized about reaching in and counting the teeth in [redacted's] mouth" <- most perfect line ever written.

Opposites (like grumpy×sunshine, etc): 5/10

Eh...? It can be cute, but sometimes it feels like too much. I'm actually more of a "they're both grumpy, but not with each other" or even "they're both golden, but can be at their worse with each other".

Poly: 5/10

Sometimes it's shoehorned in and I'm like... :/ you could've written something more interesting if you allowed the conflict to exist. BUT sometimes there's genuine sexual/romantic attraction between all parts and that's when this hits. I'll read an OT3 as long as it's not "author couldn't decide and decided to go the fluffy no conflict route even though it makes no sense for the characters"

Pregnancy: 8/10

I'll read it in fics, in all sorts of manners: cute family fic, kinky breeding fic, plotty dramatic fic, etc. But I don't like it in canon, movie or book. In fic I have the ability of getting bored and clicking out and reading one of the other 200 fics where there's no pregnancy or baby. In canon that's impossible.

Second Chance: 0/10

Sure, I'll read that.

Sex To Feelings: 5/10

IDK, when are we talking feelings? Is this a scenario where they're friends/enemies to benefits and then the feelings emerge? Because then yes. Or is this just a PWP and then I get some feelings at the bottom? Because then no. Or is this a character study while they're fucking? Because then YES.

Slowburn: 10/10

It's the perfect trope but watch out. I'm a firm believer of stories needing beginning, middle, end. I've read fics that are 80 chapters long and every time the characters are about to get together/realize another curveball is thrown their way. Once or twice I'm good with, but 50 different obstacles? Fuck no, I'm clicking out.

Soulmates: -1/10

This won't make me wanna read your fic. If you mean this as a "they are soulmates so X happens" ....nope. Not my thing. If you mean this as "they're always the endgame. In every universe, in every reality, these two are IT" (cough, Skloom) then YES!!! But also don't spell it out for me. I don't need you to tell me soulmates, I can guess that.

Tagging: @infp-obsessing-over-everything , @faithfire and @daisiehoney @astrid-v

#hello i'm a highly opinionated person who can't shut up #i'm sorry this is so fucking long #astrid i think you've done this already but im not sure so forgive me

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you-remind-me-of-the-babe · 1 year

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Trope Grading Game

Thank you for the tags @aristocratic-otter and @artsyunderstudy! I really love hearing what y’all are into and why.

Rules: How much do these tropes affect your decision to click on a fic?

-10 -> very dissuaded

0 -> don’t care either way

+10 -> very enticed

nope -> if it’s a hard no and you’d never click on a fic with that tag or or you even have the tag blocked or you’d insta click out of the fic if it wasn’t tagged

Bonus points for explaining the rating and whether it’s conditional.

So the short answer is 0 for everything because I don’t read tags anymore because they never affected my choice to read a story the way a summary, snippet, rec or author gushing about their work would. But! even choosing with these methods the tropes bleed through so here are my rankings

Age gap: -1

I’m not opposed to it per se, I just don’t see the appeal. I just finished a book with side characters in a relationship with a big age gap and I tried to be open minded but it creeped me out a bit. Although I did write Baz as a 200 year old vampire so I guess there’s that! 😅

Codependency: +5

Yeah, give me two people leaning on each other. I think we suffer in silence too much. I think we need human connection. Gimme two people who aren’t afraid to ask for what they want. Yeah sure, it can be problematic but mostly I think it’s nice.

Obsession/possessiveness, jealousy: +5

I fucking love possessive Simon. Sometimes this trope isn’t done well in other stories but with Snowbaz I eat that shit up.

Opposites (grumpy/sunshine etc): +8

I looooove it. Working past your stereotypes? Becoming more open minded? Seeing someone on a deeper level? Grabby hands

Enemies to lovers, Enemies with benefits: +8

This is the majority of Snowbaz so obviously, yes. Sometimes I’m not a fan outside the fandom, but here it’s so good. And enemies with benefits??? Please. Cue me foaming at the mouth reading Restoration Ecology by @captain-aralias or it’s fabulous remix by @royalasstronaut.

Friends with benefits: +8

Yes please. As long as there’s some deep feelings involved, even if they come later, I’m there. And often with friendship you’ve got the platonic love there that sometimes builds to more so yes. More Than Friends by @fatalfangirl is an EXCELLENT example of this where they are just pining idiots from day 1 and I’m obsessed.

Sex to feelings: +10

FUCK YES. I will take it every time. I love sex, I love a good slow burn, I love sex with feelings. Make them earn it? PLEASE. Someone Wicked does this so well. @artsyunderstudy is the queen of sex with feelings.

Fake dating/relationship: +8

Yup, this is a goodie. even just fake friendship a la RWRB. Lovely. But yeah when their dating and they gotta kiss to sell it? And the other thinks they are faking but really that’s how they feel? Mmm hmm. Yummy.

Friends to lovers: +10

Y’all know this is my thing. I’ve written it several times. They love each other SO MUCH but they are too afraid to ruin their friendship so they feel they can’t make a move. The angst is right there and I love it.

Found family: +1

This can be great, but if that’s the whole premise I might pass. Fluff can be fun but if that’s all there is, I usually pass. But! If this is a theme in a longer fic with more complex plot? Then it can be really good.

Hurt/comfort: +1

Idk why but I associate this tag with shorter fics that just doesn’t actually hit that hard. Like, the hurt is little and immediately followed by the comfort. Give me the BIG angst. Hurt me good before you make it better. I looooove angst with a happy ending. So if that’s what we are doing then give it to me good.

Love triangle: -3

Meh. I always feel bad for the odd one out. I don’t like seeing the pining and angst without the pay out. And usually this is how it goes. If the third person is an asshole you just have to nudge out of the way, then maybe.

Poly, open relationship: -3

I’m actually quite curious about this and I bet it can be done right, but I usually go for a single OTP. Give me your recs though, I’d love to be convinced otherwise.

Mistaken/hidden identity: +10

Hell yes. They didn’t know it was that person all along? And they fell for them anyways? Fantastic. Even better is when they fall for the same person twice. Both hidden and not. And then! All is revealed and it’s the same person! Think love letters from a secret admirer, masquerade, etc. I mean there’s a reason network connectivity problems is the highest kudosed fic in the fandom.

Monsterfucking: +10

And bless this fandom for introducing me to it and going whole hog with our boys and their monster parts.

Pregnancy: -3

Been there, done that, don’t find it sexy. There’s some good mpreg fics in this fandom though so there are exceptions! Orange Juice by @orange-peony is a GREAT one that I really adored. This fandom just really delivers in any area.

Second chance: +9

Yes please! Unless own person is truly awful and doesn’t deserve it, but typically I love someone getting a chance to try and learn from their mistakes and try again. Don’t we all wish we could have a second chance at something?

Slow burn: +10

ITS SO SATISFYING! The payoff is so good after they’ve worked for it. My favorite.

Soulmates: +1

I love when characters can choose each other despite their destiny. I need conflict. I don’t know if I’ve read any Snowbaz ones. I think because I like them at odds and assume they won’t be. @artsyunderstudy is giving me recs to help me see the light LOL.

Who hasn’t done this? Tagging those above who haven’t done it plus a few more, if you’re up for it @whogaveyoupermission @iamamythologicalcreature @facewithoutheart @bookish-bogwitch @cutestkilla @thewholelemon @ivelovedhimthroughworse @ileadacharmedlife @raenestee @valeffelees

#trope grading game

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chrkrose · 11 months

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I hope this is ok to ask, but what do you think of Daemon and Nettles storyline? I know you ship them, but what about how Martin writes it or the story he wants to tell/thinks he's telling? I'm not really a fan, much less so because by the time I got to that chapter I was already fed up with Martin. He's pretty much using F&B to talk about his favorites characters and while if you can't play in your own sandbox then where can you play, it makes it a little difficult to take very seriously

I wouldn’t say I ship “ship” them because it’s kinda hard to ship something when you have basically just the Wikipedia summary of what their relationship looked like. I think I ship the potential of the couple to a degree lol. And because I love cliche romantic tropes.

With that said, I’ve always been very cool about my ships in the sense that I know when I’m the one reading into it more than the story is giving me anything x the story wants me to see it in a romantic light. And I think George couldn’t be more obvious about how he wanted their story to be perceived as romance.

It’s not very hard to spot when George is going to the romantic angle of something, because his couples follow similar tropes, same as how it’s easy to spot his favorite characters because they all share similar traits. Nettles and Daemon in particular play very much into those things: Nettles is the underdog, who comes from nothing and is shunned by society, only to be proven that they are actually exceptional and special (with his more developed characters, Brienne and Tyrion come to mind, although Tyrion also falls into the next category) and Daemon is the character who commits tons of atrocities but has also certain aspects of his personality that are actually good and therefore the reader has complex feelings about him (Jaime and Theon are a good example of that in the main saga).

It’s only natural that he would pair these two together, especially if he can play with ideas such as the two coming from opposite backgrounds or clashing when it comes to their beliefs or even how they defy societal expectations when it comes to those characters getting romantically entangled. He loves to add any of those tropes to his couples (Dunk & Rohanne; Duncan & Jenny; Alys & Aemond; Jaime & Brienne. The last two in particular, it’s very very clear that Daemon and Nettles are the Dance version of Jaime and Brienne, to the point that even some of Daemon & Nettles plot beats echo those of Jaime & Brienne).

I think both Nettles and Daemon had different purposes in the story, each one having a different arc with a different goal in mind, and their relationship can be read in three different perspectives: what it means to Nettles arc, what it means to Daemon’s arc and what it means to them as a couple and love story. I can go into more depth about this if you want, let me know lol.

Ultimately, like I said before, people (sometimes willingly so they can fit into their own headcanons/agendas) misinterpret their relationship because they either want to close their eyes to the reality of it (“they are father/daughter” when it’s not because the book canonically makes it impossible and cmon, never mind all the obvious romantic imagery of their scenes and goodbye) or because they want to push a problematic angle that wasn’t really George’s goal (“daemon is grooming another little girl because is he’s a pedo” cmon George has a serious problem with ages in general to begin with, to the point I’m pretty sure he never saw a child/young teen in real life. Almost all of his romantic couples have a problematic age gap, which is why I can “overlook” this when it comes to Daemon and Nettles because it’s clear it’s not important in their case. Finally, because he goes out of his way to show that even though nettles is “young”, she is “older” than the girls he used to sleep with, and that with her it is “different”. I said in another post, he never wrote their relationship as a commentary about Daemon’s pedo tendencies, but in spite of it).

I think the story he’s trying to tell, to simplify, is of two awesome characters (subjectively lol. Nettles is awesome. Daemon is up for debate) he likes quite a bit finding romance and having an impactful story because since he likes those two characters quite a bit, and he’s the one writing the story, he can give them all the cool tropes and ideas just because. Which I get. I love Brienne so she’s always the most special one and the queen of everything whenever I write a fic. I can’t say I blame him for it.

And feel free to send me asks, I love answering it!

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avidaraku · 8 months

Text

Hi!!!! ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

welcome to my pinned post I honestly still dont know what to do with my blog like ever but still :) nice stuff. This blog contains whatever the fuck I reblog, including fandom and 18+ stuff - I do not tag my porn reblogs so if you're following me for fandom things, this is an all in one blog bc i do what i want <3 you are warned! leave if you dislike my beloved freak blog

|･ω･)

just be nice and kind babygirls, that's all i ask of <3 human decency lets go!!!! (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

my ao3 account is https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daimashiko :) I like writing porn, my brain is constantly on khr mode :) I also never have any consistent name for my accounts, so thats also why my names are different. Hi to any discord friends who know me from well, discord <3 im sure u guys are familiar with my socials in this case

TAGS. ─=≡Σ((( つ＞＜)つ／(＞×＜)＼

#my art (very self explanatory I am not a creative person with names?? sorryyyyy - i also considered making my art tag into artvidaraku but like. thats too much effort jklsjgkldKJDF:SJ:JKL:JK:LDG ;;)

#khr (that is my main fandom ofc <333 - overlaps with my art but also other people's khr stuff so haha... its a mess but oh well)

#poll (i like answering them! or just reblogging polls i wanted to volunteer in but its too late </3)

#lotta tags (i tend to comment a lot in tags but these are the ones where i usually write like. a lot of commentary to the point im like ohhhh i should tag this right? curious if anyone's ever went through them but also i've never talked abt these things so. oopsssss <3 - lot of it is kinda sad / depressing but usually i am pretty reflective. kinda?)

#animals (self explanatory. i love me some fucking creatures. respect nature babygirls i adore them fellas <3)

#tumblr classic (i love getting to see the classics / things i'd personally consider a classic on my feed)

#fandom (this one's pretty commonly used! yadda yadda, talks abt fanfic and stuff / sometimes i get disappointed with fandom but that's not new lol)

#fashion (i don't use this as much as I should be?? but if you want to check out what i think is fun / a vibe <3)

#avidarecs (****i literally just made this on impulse so there's not much rn but i want to share more of my recs for things in general! fandom / songs / whatever other thing comes to mind?***// will probably be rarely used? but you never know~)

there might be more tags I haven't included but from the top of my head this is it?? Might add more, i have no clue. But anyways back to my other interests and what I'm into!

media i like: khr (its number one bc i am unable to pry reborn's hands on my stupid silly little soul so i cannot escape even if i wanted to), slay the princess + scarlet hollow (games made by the same studio. i love the art and vibes sooo much and also the fanart is sooo beautiful), Jenna Marbles (i've been obsessed w her stuff recently and I hope she's having a good time w her dogs and Julien :), kpop (honestly its only just loona bc im tired and feel old as fuck despite only being in my 20s so i am not gonna get into another thing lol), and sanrio!!! i love my melody she's a cutie patootie <3

-probably more stuff I like but this post would be a lot longer

I'm certain its obvious but I am a proshipper (also i am always in rarepair hell girl HELP. but also i will chain myself to that random mix of characters without prompting. ah....), if you don't like proshippers, leave my page and block me <3

But anyways my fav tropes (i definitely have more i just cant think of them but in general im chill with lots of stuff!)

incest (i am so fr when i say somehow i always revolve around incest ships they're just soooo good. my brain is absolutely destroyed in favor of tasty fucking food. shout out to incest shippers you guys rock luv yall :3)

age gap / size difference (these tropes are lovers and they're already fucking each other within one yard of each other. good fucking food yk?)

any toxic/problematic food (necro + lolisho rights!!!) in general. i am just. yeahhhhhhhhhhh MMMM LOAD THAT SHIT UP. i also have very little memory but still whatever

genderbend - i know it's a dwindling trope in popularity but there is nothing better than mindlessly turning a guy chara into a girl like wow..... so hot.... <3 this has also been a long time trope i've adored and i'll probably never stop using it bc its just that good for me <3 mmm. girls. cute.

monsterfucker stuff is great! (does this include animal hybrids? im going to include it with that soooo)

i think this is enough, but also before you go explore whatever maze my blog is in bc i cant be bothered enough by my blog, i will also reblog things in tandem to politics / real world things (I support Palestine <3). Am American. Am Mess. But I hope the world is kinder even just a little bit more. This world is cruel, but I hope we can continue to offer each other support and love, even when times are harrowing as always.

(っ ᵔ◡ᵔ)っ have a hug/kiss!!!! (i like gifs hehe)

#get to know me #it feels weird updating this post bc i originally made this pinned post on a whim just to tell ppl abt my ao3 lol #has a lot more details than i thought but i think this showcases my personality pretty well! probably? <3 #i do whatever the fuck on this blog. if u follow me i dont know why you're here but i appreciate u anyways

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crush3dmary · 1 year

Note

Okay I gotta ask. Tales of Symphonia for the fandom one.

(claps hands together) LET'S FUCKING GO

send me a fandom and i’ll tell you…

the first character i ever fell in love with:

Genis!! I actually fell in love with him before Zelos because when I played the first time it was with a group of friends and I played Genis so I already had a bias, lol.

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not:

Not really anyone. I don't think my character opinions have changed a whole bunch in the last 15 years, though I definitely have more of an appreciation for Colette now than I did when I was 14.

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not:

Ehh... again, not really any of them? I've been pretty firm in my otps and notps, but I used to be "meh" about c*lloyd and now I fucking despise it because of the fans, so. Lol.

my ultimate favorite character™:

Zelos Wilder (derogatory) I love to put him in Situations

prettiest character:

Pronyma. I enjoy her.

my most hated character:

Not hate by any means but I'm very meh about Kratos. I can see why people would love him but he just doesn't hit it for me.

my OTP:

Zelloyd by a long shot. 15 years going strong! Still writing em!

my NOTP:

C*LLOYD AND SH*ELOS I HATE THEM SO MUCH I could probably write an essay on how much and why I hate them but I won't I'll just make content I like instead!

favorite episode:

I'll do favourite scene here. Tower of Salvation reveal with Remiel. That part of the game just fucking hits.

saddest death:

Corrine :'((((( especially in the anime!

favorite season:

Favourite stretch of the game is dad reveal onwards. The last like 10 hours of the game are just fucking stellar.

least favorite season:

Sylvarant arc is kind of a slog to be honest. It's cool going and back and replaying and seeing all the foreshadowing but it wasn't until you start to find out about Tethe'alla and whatnot that the game really started to hook me.

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate:

Lmaoooooooo Kratos again sorry. Again, I see where the love comes from! Just not my fav.

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave:

Zelos. I can't even defend all his actions and sometimes he just straight up sucks. But the man unfortunately has owned my ass since 2008, so. There's no getting out now.

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave:

Pronyma deserved better. They could have done sooooooo much with her and they didn't. But that's okay, I can open up google docs and pretend.

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship:

Idk I don't really ship anything super problematic to be honest, unless you count zelloyd because of the (whispers) age gap... proceeds to rinse my mouth out with soap and recite prayers so Martel doesn't smite me for shipping something with two characters who look the same and have the same maturity level

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship:

Genis/Mithos. Not OTP level but I do love them. Lots of potential for angst there, and I've even written some myself.

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literaticat · 9 months

Note

Hi Jenn. If your client came to you with a manuscript you felt could be problematic (like if there was an age-gap romance or something that could be interpreted as sexist or misogynistic or something), what would you do? How would you discuss it with a client?

I can't really fathom one of my authors writing something like that into their book without realizing it, so HOPEFULLY it would be in there on purpose, and addressed in the text. Like, it's not that there can't be a book that has sexism or misogyny or racism whatever problematic thing in it -- some people are sexist and misogynistic and racist! Characters in books might be that way, too! Like, if we couldn't have a racist character in a book, we couldn't have had YELLOWFACE last year, which was terrific and quite acclaimed, despite/because of it's HORRIBLE main character! If we couldn't address sexism or misogyny in a book, half the books by women authors would blink out of existence.

Just as, in real life, "age gap romances" exist, sometimes even quite disturbing/exploitative ones, and some books are even ABOUT that -- so if that's the case, and it's addressed in the text, then I don't really see the issue.

If it did feel like something that was just problematic or off-putting without being on purpose/addressed in the text, I guess I'd just have a conversation with the author. Candidly. I don't think very many authors WANT to put their readers or potential publishers off, so if something feels gratuitously "icky" for whatever reason, I think I have a duty to warn the author that some members of the audience might really react badly to whatever-it-is, or it might cause the book to not sell at all.

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brokentoasterrr · 2 years

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ok listen this has been on my mind for DAYS now so i’m going to shout it into the void and we’ll see what happens.

i have a note on my phone that says “exclude tags ao3” where i have written down every single tag i don’t want to see when i scroll through my favorite ship tags. this means that i don’t see what i deem gross on my feed, because every time i go scrollin’ i make the choice to curate my online experience.

the ONLY time i have ever reported a work on ao3, it was because there was a fic rated teen with tags that were clearly explicit. i didn’t want to read it, i didn’t want to leave a comment on content i wasn’t going to read, so i reported it for the sole purpose of the creator getting a little nudge so they could rate it appropriately.

the amount of posts i see about content being reported because it contains a squick of someone’s is BAFFLING to me. it’s insane that people feel the need to censor content that presumably wasn’t meant for you anyway. you cannot go online expecting the world of fandom bending over backwards to make sure that you’re safe, because guess what! the internet isn’t an inherently safe space! in order for it to be a safe space, you need to curate your own online experience, and if you’re not mature enough to do that, you should not be online. if you cannot see a piece of fiction or art or video edit without feeling squicked, grossed out, angry, or even triggered, then you have to ensure that you do not see it again. not reporting content that is “problematic” or inappropriate or offensive.

and on that note, fiction is allowed to be problematic. it’s fiction. it is not real. i have read fics containing infidelity, age gaps, murder, drug abuse, what have you, and it does not reflect on me as a person, or what i do during my time offline. i have written violent, disgusting fics; fics containing drug abuse, toxic, abusive relationships, but never in my life would i want to embody or experience what i write. i don’t want to bang a married, muscular silver fox as someone who’s much younger, but reading it? why the fuck not, it’s not about me.

i absolutely do not want to read underage stuff, or incest, or mpreg. it’s stuff that i personally think is disgusting and, to some degree, problematic (incest and underage, to be precise, i find very problematic—the rest is just personal preference). in order to avoid it, i filter those tags out. what one person thinks or feels about one certain topic should not affect other people wanting to read/write it.

the lack of nuance i see in younger people when it comes to fandom and content is frankly insane. they seem to draw such a large parallel between the fictional world and the real world, to the point where they’re incapable of seeing and understanding that the two are not one and the same. you can like a character who killed a bunch of people, write fics about it and explore who they are and why they are the way they are, without agreeing with their actions, beliefs, and values. (coincidentally, the same people who despise problematic content like graphic violence or non-con, will also take the murder character and make it into an uwu smol soft boy who just suffered trauma so its ok he’s doing this loki regulus barty crouch jr need i continue but we don’t have to unpack all of that right now)

sometimes it’s fun to be a problematic little rascal and that’s okay, because the outlet isn’t real. the fic isn’t real. it doesn’t reflect on any personal feelings, desires, beliefs, etc etc etc. the art isn’t real. if it feels too real to you, then????? don’t consume it??????? you can’t watch hannibal and then write to the show producers telling them that they’re horrible people because the show about cannibalism and murder contains just that, when you could’ve just stopped watching hannibal and done something else instead.

curate your own online experience.

#fandom rant #fandom disk horse #fandom discourse #anti anti #proship #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom #anti ship #anti proship #antiship

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filliteapot · 1 year

Note

What are your thoughts about age-gap romances? I myself I am mostly okay with them (it's all about the execution and how the relationship is potrayed, what it is like etc.) and some of my favorite couples and ships have age-gap, for example Tom and Polly from Fire and Hemlock, Firuka and Hagas from Genbu Kaiden. But due to fandom spaces... I have started to feel quilty and bad for liking some age-gap couples and romances and I wonder if I should stop liking them and if I should age-up my own character from 20 to 28 since the love interest is 32-33 in a fantasy romance I am writing.

Oh my, you know , I saw your ask right after complaining to a friend about fandoms. The timing made me yell. So expect a long answer with my honest thoughts under the cut.

I may have an opinion unpopular in fandom spaces and nowadays overall, but I think that your taste in fiction doesn't necessary reflect your preferences and opinions irl. More than that, I don't think that fiction equals reality and I consider viewing reality through fandom/fiction lenses (and otherwise, evaluating fiction from the point of view of our reality, this time and age) a dangerous simplification. Fiction doesn't have to work by our reality's laws and morals. Reality is much more complicated than any fiction ever written. This is that I think.

As for stories with age gap romances - I don't see it as something necessarily problematic and accusable. I may like them, I may dislike them, or stay neutral - as you said, it depends on how it's written. But I'm gonna say smth that kinda makes me worst person for fandoms: in all honesty, shoujos about teenage girls falling for their teachers, fantasy about 20 y.o. in relationships with immortal creatures, even stories about straight out creepy relationships with age gap don't hurt me and don't make me righteously mad and screaming it gives young people the wrong idea. What doesn't, nowadays? Learning to use your brains and analyze information is still my preferable option. I also don't understand how writing about some not-safe-for-all-audiences themes equals romantization of said themes. I really don't see such stories as a problem or harmful influence, just like any other thing claimed problematic by fandoms tbh. In my experience, most of them are not even close to "excusing age gaps between young ppl and old perverts". This is something totally different.

I think you should write your story as you want, without trying to please everyone and make it safe for everyone, without a mere possibility to trigger smth unpleasant for someone - it's impossible to do that after all. If for some reason your characters must be 20 and 32 years old, so be it. In fantasy I sometimes see examples of bigger age gaps, like "twenty y.o. and a 3000 y.o. magician" which fandom sometimes condemns as problematic bc of said "age gap", and I see that this one potential 3000 y.o. magician is written like a teenage girl and doesn't feel old or not human in the slightest, and it's not about problematicness or age gap at all, even when your mage is not 3000 y.o. but 30-something. It's about your exploring yourself, people and the world through your writing. Maybe, it's about learning to love the world a bit more (true in my case, this is why i'm making my own story I guess), maybe it's about putting yourself in other person's shoes, trying to understand how someone different from you (in age, or status) feels and thinks. Maybe it's about going against fandom morals and hollow accusations you are unhappy with, some kind of protest, I don't know. It may be sublimation, a stupid wish that never came true, a way to get through some traumatic experience, a way to understand your own feelings about this subject and form your opinion, or desire to take this theme and make a good story you can enjoy, finally! None of these makes you a criminal, btw. You may even never understand why exactly you take something for your story or the purpose of writing it at all - and that's okay. You have a personal relationship with your story and not a single person has the right to interfere.

In short, I'm standing firmly on this ground: stories are not our reality, but a way to get to know it and maybe love it. Your preferences in fiction don't necessarily mean it expands to real life. Feeling something good from a story that someone says you are supposed to hate doesn't make you trash. Also, I beg you: don't use fandom categories to deal with reality and don't apply their standards and logic to your opinion about yourself. Fandoms surely make our life funnier sometimes, but they are limited spaces with their own rules and working mechanisms, and they simplify things a lot. I can understand the desire to always have the right and simple answer to everything, and a clear opinion about everything, but life has the habit of walking up to you and smashing your face into situations that can't be defined by simple notions, or even don't let you decide what to accuse and what to excuse (sometimes it's not our place to decide). I don't think you must feel guilty for liking smth in fiction. I stopped caring about it some time ago, when I got that me liking murder ballads by the Decemberists didn't make me a killer, and that I actually don't see the period novels in which women suffer as romantization of women's suffering. And I'm fine with my unpopular perception of fiction and reality.

I wish all the best on your writing.

#replies #writing #this is something i actually thought a lot these days #and yes this is my honest opinion i'm firm with

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screpa · 2 years

Text

Levi was fine

Summary: You finally told Levi and Hange of your new relationship with Bertolt. Levi knew that you were more than just a dear friend to him. But he was fine with you being with someone else. Was he?

Notes: (1) This piece was difficult for me to write (T^T) I almost cried a couple of times, as I put myself in Levi’s shoes. I’ve experienced enough heartbreak to know the pain of losing the person I love to someone else. I didn’t want to put my beloved Levi in this situation, but that’s how life is. At times, we have to let go of someone we love and wish them happiness. But, as in Levi’s case, sometimes love needs a detour before arriving to its final destination ^^ (2) Maybe listen to Michael Jackson’s ’She’s out of my life’ when reading this if you want to elevate the gut-wrenching effect. (I guess now you know how I old I am considering the song choice ha-ha-ha. I know classics, okay, I may be old but not THAT old :-D)

Tags: SFW, sad, heartbreaking, lost love, gloomy

Read it here or on AO3, up to you ^^

You don’t really know why you kept postponing to tell your best friends, Levi and Hange, about your new relationship with Bertolt.

You knew it wasn’t because they’d judge you.

You were sure that they wouldn’t see the age and rank gap between you and Bert as problematic. Age was just a number and Bertolt was already the legal age to be intimate with you. As for rank, they knew you were too kind to take advantage of other people. It’d be more likely for Bert to take advantage of your naïveté, but you knew for sure both of them would have your back in the slim chance that would happen.

But you felt they wouldn’t be ecstatic with the news anyway.

Hange may be upset with the news. Your friendship with them couldn’t be considered as purely platonic. You enjoyed hugging, cuddling and giving them light peck kisses, which were normal between close friends.

They were your source of comfort, like a warm fluffy blanket in cold autumn nights.

That slightly changed during one of your pillow talks. Both of you almost crossed the line and realized of the mutual love you had for each other. With the line uncrossed, you maintained a close friendship, although sometimes you were both bothered and gutted by the missed opportunity toward happiness together.

So, you were dispirited by the fact that you were going to break their heart.

As for Levi…

You didn’t really know why you thought he’d be upset with the news. For all you knew, you had a one-sided love toward him. He only saw you as his dear friend and a soldier under his care.

Maybe he’d be upset because he didn’t like change. Maybe he didn’t want you to divert your time for training or for helping him with paperwork to spend time with Bertolt. Or, maybe he just didn’t want to share one of the few people he trusted to someone else.

Whatever it was, you knew he’d be bitter about it.

You decided to just tell them the news quickly like taking off a bandaid. Just blurt it out then leave. Everything would be back to normal the next day. You were sure of it.

Tonight was the perfect opportunity. The three of you were hanging out at Levi’s office to discuss about Hange’s plan to capture a few titans for research. Erwin was still unmoving with the idea, so Hange was trying to get stubborn Levi on their side.

But you didn’t get to tell them because of their petty disagreements. They both had good points but they couldn’t meet in the middle. The argument was so heated that you had to be the middle woman to prevent them from saying things they’d regret later on.

After an hour of their bickering, you were too emotionally drained to say anything to them.

Noticing your dispirited body slumped on the sofa, Hange softened and decided to throw in the towel for the time being. The discussion could continue another day, they thought.

‘Hey, Y/N, tomorrow’s our day off. How about the three of us have tea and sweets together in town in the afternoon? Just to relax for a bit. How about that?’ Hange asked you cheerfully.

At the mention of tea, Levi’s ears perked up and his mood was lifted. He nodded while maintaining his signature stoic expression.

This was the chance you had been waiting for!

With true regret in your voice you told them, ‘That’d be nice, but I have a date tomorrow’.

Both of them stared at you. Levi with his unchanged stoic expression, Hange with clear surprise on their face.

After a minute of silence had passed, Hange asked you in a whisper, ‘A date? With who?’

You took a deep breath and said, ‘Bertolt. We’re together now’.

‘To– together? I thought it was just a date?’ Hange asked in disbelief. You could hear their voice starting to shake.

Tears started to fill your eyes as you realized that their heart was breaking because of you. You had to end this conversation. There was no need to drag it out, knowing that there’d only be more pain.

‘We’ve been together for a while now. So sorry that I didn’t tell both of you earlier. I wanted to, but, just, didn’t know how’.

‘So… It’s serious?’ Hange sounded so miserable.

You felt tears spilling out of your eyes.

‘Yes. I love him’.

You cried not because you felt it was wrong to love Bertolt, yet it was still painful for you to tell them the truth.

Hange looked up to the ceiling, trying to keep their tears from spilling down.

After a while, they took in a deep breath and exhaled long and slow. They turned their face to you, showing you their warm, supportive smile.

They told you cheerfully, ‘I’m happy for you and Bertolt! I genuinely wish you and him nothing but happiness. Let’s have a drink tomorrow night to celebrate, okay? I know where Mobilt kept his homemade rice wine’.

You smiled at them, grateful of their support. ‘I’d love that,’ you sincerely told them.

Then you turned your gaze to Levi. He still had the same stoic expression.

After a minute or two of him staring at you in silence, you stood up to take your leave. You accepted that he wouldn’t say anything. He wasn’t too big with congratulations, so there was no point waiting.

‘We’ll have the tea and sweets next time okay? Don’t have too much fun without me you two’. You tried to sound cheerful although you knew that you sounded so superficial.

Hange wished you good night and you quickly went out of the room.

You ran toward your dorm room.

You knew you’d spend the night crying for your two lost loves.

—

When Y/N closed the door behind her, Levi heard the sound of her running footsteps. The sound echoed in his head. Tap. Tap. Tap. There was nothing in his head other than the gradually fading sound of her footst–

SMACK!

A hard slap on the back of his head jolted him away from his melancholic thoughts.

He rubbed the back of his head and turned his face toward the perpetrator.

He was going to yell at them, but he saw Hange’s angry, tear stained face and kept his silence.

Suddenly Hange kicked the coffee table in front of them so hard that it flipped. They then stood and went toward his office table. They flung everything that was on top of the table across the room. They then let out a long angry growl.

Levi just stared, not knowing how to comfort his friend.

Hange spoke between clenched teeth without looking at him, ‘Remember this. The emptiness you're feeling right now. It was NOT acceptance. It was utter regret’.

Levi could taste the venom from the Hange’s ‘utter regret’.

With that, Hange left him.

He stood up to put the coffee table in its place. The part that Hange kicked was now dented with wood splinters covering the chipped part. He had to wipe and fix that later, he thought. Maybe sand it a bit to get all the splinters out. Wouldn’t want anyone to get an annoying splinter stuck on their clothes or, worse, on their skin.

He went to pick up all of the papers, books and pencils on the floor and placed them tidily on the table. He had to rearrange the papers, he thought. If he delayed it for tomorrow, some important papers could slip somewhere. He had to do it before bed tonight.

But first, he had to clean up the shattered ink bottle. It’d take a while to lift the stain from the floor. That one couldn’t wait. He wouldn’t want an ugly stain on the floor. Better get going to get the cleaning equipment…

It was way past midnight when his office was as neat as before Hange’s outburst. He sat on his office chair and looked out the window. He stared at the darkness outside.

Now he had to confront his thoughts and feelings, which were muted when he was busy tidying up.

Utter regret. Was that what he was feeling at the moment?

What was Y/N to him?

She was a dear friend, indeed. Ever since she gave him the portraits of Isabel and Furlan, Levi had accepted her as his friend, just as he had accepted Erwin and Hange. His friendship with the three of them were built on the solid foundation of trust and compassion.

But he noticed that there was something different, something more with Y/N, compared to his friendship with Erwin and Hange.

He was somehow drawn to her. Levi appreciated her beauty, but that wasn’t the reason he always discreetly searched for her whenever he entered a room. There were a lot of beautiful women and men in the Regiment, but none was half as charming as Y/N.

Maybe the fact that she knew how to act around him helped. She was never intimidated by him or expected him to act like other people. She let him take his own pace in the relationship while she stayed true to her kind and caring nature.

Oh, she could annoy the heck out of him with her lax attitude toward training and sloppiness during expeditions. Not to mention her vulgarity and foolishness whenever she was with Hange. She could also be rude and mocking toward him. She knew just the right ways to irk him.

But he enjoyed being annoyed at her as it meant he had her by his side.

Even during the most irritating moments, Y/N always soothed him.

He couldn’t remember when he started to place himself beside her whenever they were in the same room. It wasn’t easy since she was friendly with a lot of people in the Regiment. Sometimes he found himself sulking when she was surrounded by people. He couldn’t insert himself in between the others without accidentally touching them. Then he had to settle with gazing at her and listening to her sing-song voice from afar.

He didn’t know what she meant to him until Erwin put it to him straight and simple.

It was after a morning meeting with the Captains and Scout Leaders. Levi was watching Y/N going out of the meeting room with the others.

Erwin, who was still sitting beside him, whispered, 'Stop gazing and tell her’.

He turned to Erwin and saw that he was also looking at Y/N.

‘Tell her what?’

‘That you love her’.

Ah, that was what it was.

Love.

But he never got around to say it. He didn’t know how. The three words were always at the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t make them escape from his mouth.

So, he decided to show his love through his actions. Believing, to his undoing, that she’d feel it. He kept her close by spending as much time with her as possible. He made her think that he needed her help with paperwork when he could do them quicker himself.

He trained her hard to ensure that she could fend for herself. Even though he could feel the hate in her eyes during every training. He thought, it’d be better for her to hate him for a while rather than having her injured or, worse, killed.

He thought that their relationship was solid. In his mind, they were already a partner, set for life.

Levi buried his head in his hands. You’re such an idiot, he screamed to himself, you lost her because you could't utter those three simple words.

He heard her running footsteps again. Tap. Tap. Tap. Away, and away she went. To a place he was no longer allowed to follow…

Nothing seemed to change between them the morning after. Y/N was already at the mess hall, at her usual spot. She was talking animatedly with Hange on her side. She greeted him like she always did. Hange threw a cold stare at him then quickly changed to their normal, goofy self.

Levi took some food and sat across Y/N and Hange as he normally did. He’d eat while listening to whatever weird discussion Y/N and Hange were having. He’d winced at their vulgar comments and grunted when they asked for his opinion.

Things didn’t have to change just because she belonged to someone else, he thought.

Y/N excused herself to get to her squad.

Levi then realized something trivial, but could’ve been a clear sign if only he noticed it sooner.

Y/N always left her breakfast milk carton unopened.

If there was something she didn’t like, she’d force him to eat it. You need more nourishment, she’d tell him. But she always kept the milk.

He always gazed at her, so he knew who she gave the milk to.

He sighed, appalled by his stupidity.

Y/N was kind and caring, but even she wouldn’t go out of her way for someone like that.

Like himself, it was the little things that mattered, that separated the special person from the rest of the crowd.

He saw Y/N gave the milk to Bertolt. It was just like any other mornings. She’d cheerfully give the milk cartoon to him and the pine tree would stutter. No. He no longer stuttered. Instead, he looked at her with such tenderness. He didn’t abruptly take it from her like he usually did, but placed his hand on hers. He left his hand there, rubbing his thumb on her skin.

Levi couldn’t watch anymore. He tried to focus on his food.

He didn’t want to watch her walk away, yet he did. Y/N and Bertolt walked side by side, barely touching. But Levi could see clearly the silent intimacy between the two of them.

The following days, weeks and months, Y/N treated him the same way. She was still her kind, rude, foolish, and vulgar self with him. She still helped him with paper work and obediently followed his training. He went back to the routine of discreetly searching for her whenever he entered a room and the deftly positioned himself beside her.

But he’d avoid all of the places where he caught a glimpse of her with Bertolt.

He spent more time monitoring Eren in the abandoned fortress, just so he could be away from the headquarters more.

Yet, he couldn’t be away too long from her, so he arranged a one-on-one training with her once a week. He knew she hated it, but this was the only time he could steal her away from her lover and the others.

He knew it was cowardly of him. But knowing how happy she was with the pine tree, he just had to deny his feelings.

It was enough that she still considered him as her dear friend.

It was enough to have a couple of hours in a week with her.

It was enough to know that she was happy.

As long as she was still alive, nothing else mattered.

Or so he kept telling himself…

This story is part the "Detours to Your Heart" series, comprises of stories of YOUR friendship and slow burn romance with Levi Ackerman. You build many interesting relationships with other AOT characters, such as ambiguous friendship/ romance with Hange Zoe, a whirlwind romance with Bertolt Hoover, sibling-like relationship with Jean Kirstein, and many more!

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