#sometimes you do need to just find a banger closing line and then end it with that

[gods-favorite-autistic]

I’m really bad at transitions guys

[sparkedblaze]

My favorite 92sies things 2: Electric Boogaloo

Part 1

Same T/W: violence, cursing, etc

Sarah stop hiding behind that curtain it's see through and also ur gay

Jack fighting the socks

"I'm just not used to whether I stay or whether I go matter to nobody." He says, with an army of children marching at his heels because he wanted to start a strike

"Got no legal cause" "Legal cause!" *point*

"The a l i a s o f J a a c k K e l l l y"

Pulitzer totally not blackmailing the mayor into doing what he wants

Flapflapflapflapflap

CCKCK Hurst

Spot being a hype man for no reason

"My pAl David"

"Whatarewespostadotothabumskissem"

"They're gonna be playin' with my hands alright"

"Nobodyain'tgonlistentousunlesswemakem!"

"TELLEM JACK!"

"I say that what you say is what I say"

Blink hanging off the balcony like a heathen

"Hello newsies! What's new!" *assorted simp noises*

HIGH TIMES HARD TIMES IDK HOW PEOPLE DON'T LOVE THIS SONG IT'S A FUCKING BANGER

Every single newsie sticking their chest out when they sing 'and I stick out my chest!'

Blink and Racer dancing with Medda

Jack dancing with Medda

Snitch's continuity errors

"That's Snider, as in 'snide'? Smile sir"

*Pulls Jack in by his jacket* IT'S SNYDER

"HE'S JUST A CHILD CAN'T YOU SEE THAT RACET R A C K"

David picking up the swing and then several newsies coming up to protect him bc they think of him as a friend now

"JACK you alright?!"

ALL OF THEM PROTECTING JACK WITH EVERYTHING THEY HAVE BC THEY KNOW THAT IF HE'S ARRESTED THE STRIKE COULD VERY WELL END BC THEY AREN'T SURE PEOPLE WILL CONTINUE WITHOUT HIM

KID BLINK TACKLING A FUCKING COP

ACAB BABYYY

Davey fighting to try and help Jack

"On the grounds of Brooklyn, your Honor."

Everyone dying laughing at that

Racer's 'old man trying to read a fast food menu look'

"We ain't got five bucks We don't even got five cents"

"How bout I roll ya for it? Double or nothin'?"

Dying laughing again

"HEY COWBOY NICE SHINA" ckckckckcckl

David's look when Denton tells Jack that the papers didn't print the story

David's utter disappointment when he finds out the truth about Jack and his family

"Remember Snyder? Remember me and Teddy Roosevelt and the carriage? Remember Roosevelt and the carriage?!"

"So ordered" "NO"

"Whaddya mean it never happened you were there?!"

Denton looking crushed when David finds out he's being transferred

Les stuffing his face, not giving a single fuck about what Denton is talking about. This kid has 0 chill and I love him

David crumbling the story before Denton's even gone

Les: *sees David throw a paper on the table* Les: Perfect I needed something to wrap my mf sandwich in

No one noticing the very visible David riding on the back of the carriage

"Sometimes I read 'em"

"I tell this city how to vote" *thinks to livesies 'And guess what he got elected.'* U sure bout that buddy?

Poke Pokepokepoke

"I must have you scared pretty bad old man."

The guy who gets thrown from the carriage

The very intimate moment they have when Jack presses David against the wall

"You don't know nothin' about jail"

"Guess what I done to his sauerkraut"

Stop the World! No more papes!

That redhead who I always think of as Albert

"Hey-heyhey Race C'mere Tell me I'm just seein' things Just tell me I'm seein' things-"

Every. Single. Reaction. To. Jack. Scabbing.

Blink's anger. Mush's desperation. Race's indignation.

SPOT'S ANGER. HAVING TO LITERALLY BE PULLED AWAY BECAUSE HE PUT HIMSELF AND HIS BOYS ON THE LINE FOR HIM AND HE FUCKING SCABBED.

"YOU'RE A LIAR." and the entire following statement

David Moscow's curls He's such a cutie

"WE DON'T NEED YOU"

DAVID ALMOST GETTING VIOLENT FOR THE FIRST TIME, BUT IT'S ONLY AFTER HE LOOKS AT THE OTHERS. HE'S TRYING TO GET VIOLENT ON THEIR BEHALF. BECAUSE THEY CAN'T DO IT THEMSELVES. IT'S TERRIFYING AND I LOVE IT

"Seize the day huh Jack?!" "He's foolin' em!" the desperation in Les's voice to believe this breaks my heart every time 😭

David: *climbs through window* David: *slams it closed* David: *walks in front of open window*

YOU'RE GAY AND DRAMATIC WE GET IT DAVID

"Are you gonna be requiring anything else this evening? No? Ah... tsk tsk."

"We're gonna go fix your pal Davey Fix him so he can't walk" *Morris disappointed head shakes* "Shut up"

Les swordfighting behind Sarah without a care in the world

Les taking roughly eight years to realize what's happening with Sarah

SARAH PUNCHING MORRIS

David throwing his hat off before trying to beat up the Delanceys

Morris's dumb little laugh😭

"Remember Crutchy?" *bonk*

"I can't be somethin' I ain't" "A scab?" "No, smart"

At least he knows

"I don't write anything I don't mean."

"But our man Denton-" "But I think our man Denton. Has something more important to do. I mean, he's gonna be an ace war correspondent. Right Denton?"

THE SASS

I LOVE DAVID JACOBS

WHOEVER DECIDED TO LEAVE LES ALONE WITH THE CAMERA WITHOUT SUPERVISION

Denton teaching David how to typeset

Once and For All

The entire thing

Can anyone explain to me how the printing press works?

Mush coming to the window twice. My mans is dedicated.

"Awfully nice of Mr. Pulitzer to let us use his press"

Boots throwing the papers from the roof into a square with like four kids

THERE'S MY LIL RAT BOY AGAIN HIIIII

"Hey kid. Can you read?"

The newsies (Skittery, Pie Eater, and someone else) taking their hats off when a lady opens the door

DIS-GRACE-FUL DENTY (read: Roosevelt and Denton have absolutely.... *clears throat* and that's his nickname for him)

"C'mon Jack" "Have hope Jack"

"When the circulation bell starts ringin', will we hear it?" "Nah"

Max Casella

Pap (this time with hat)

"B R O O K L Y N"

We aynt slavs

Not-Albert standing on the statue

Jack carrying Les on his shoulders

Bumlets carrying Boots on theirs

"It's like the end of the world- OhdearIdidn'tsaythat"

"Extrey extrey Joe Read all about it"

"Whatdoesthatmakeyou?"

"The walkin mouth" David: 😒

*Jack opens windows* Pulitzer: lalalalalalalala I can't hear you

DAVID MOSCOW'S EYES

"Well, we only used the best, Joe."

"We beat 'em" "We beat 'em!!"

Gio and Skittery spit-shaking

Skittery: Hiya Weas 😜

The newsies death glaring Denton when he tries to stop them from hiding Jack

"Make friends with the rats Share whatcha got in common" ^^

WHY DOES ROOSEVELT LOOK LIKE AN ANIMATRONIC?!

Race looks like he calls Roosevelt daddy and I can't stop seeing it someone help

Everyone pretending to be okay with Jack leaving, further proving that the newsies are not okay emotionally

The Jacobs crying

Blush leaning against the streetlight together

Them using the same sound byte of the little redhead from the beginning while David is buying his papes

"Attaboy Davey"

Jack's return

"HE'S BACK!"

Jack putting his hat on Les

"How's the headline today?" "Headlines don't sell papes, newsies sell papes"

David's first spit-shake

Our little boy is all grown up

[doobnnoob-tf2]

Hello again! How distrustful or paranoid do you think Spy is as a result of his line of work?

I know a lot of people hc him to have some degree of trust issues, but they can range from simple distrust to paranoia or even ptsd - what do you think?

Thank you for the banger posts lately love some good DadSpy angst! B)

I love me some good DadSpy angst, Sunny

I think Spy has PTSD, but more from childhood rather than his job.  and he was never able to really tackle it besides being taught to be strong and not show any emotion or weakness

that being said, related to his job, he is VERY paranoid.  because he knows people like him exist in the world, and people who want to hurt him and those he loves.  he simply does not trust people, there are very few he does

he’s always hyper-aware of everything and everyone around him.  it’s not something he can turn off either.  he’s always analyzing everything going on in case there’s any subtle clue that things are about to turn real bad for him.  he’s been burned too many times by colleagues and employers alike that he developed a trust-no-one demeanor

his relationship with the team goes back and forth.  he trusts them, but he doesn’t trust them.  he’s willing to open up to them but he’s always anxious after in fear that they’ll blackmail him.  he’s better about it as time goes on, finding out that they truly have no desire to stab him in the back

there will always be things he doesn’t tell any of them about, his past being a major one.  there’s things he’ll only tell a few of them but not others, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t trust the ones he didn’t tell but rather they’re just not the people he feels need to know that information.  he keeps them at an arm’s length away, sometimes literally

they’re close enough that if he needs them, they’re there for him.  but far enough should anything happen and someone come back to tie off any loose ends with him, he doesn’t feel like he’s putting them in danger

he does genuinely care for his team, they’ve grown on him, but with that he realizes that he’s putting targets on their backs and that makes him nervous and is what drives him to constantly go back and forth.  he wants them close because they’re his friends and they make him feel safe, but he wants to shove them away because HE wants THEM safe.  and hardened mercenaries or not, it’s his paranoia that tells him something will happen to them if he doesn’t

[bdoubleowo]

Please post more about Cats,,, I need your opinions on Cats 1998

My opinions on Cats 1998 are as follows:

Banger musical. Cats 2019 fucked up everything that made it work

It's not really a story so much as a performance. If you enter Cats looking for like. the average plot beats of a musical you'll be disappointed. All the plot happens at the end. I once saw it described as like. What all the enemies in Bowsers Castle do until Mario shows up. They sing about themselves n have fun and then a protagonist appears and does their thing. I can't remember what video said it? it was probably Sideways.

The makeup is cool as hell

I hate the "cat people in the eyes" that are the logo for the musical.

It looks even worse in the beginning of the recording because they're way too close together.

Rum Tum "I'm gonna sing an entire song about how FUCKING COOL this guy is" Tugger and Mr. "I'm so cool I pretend I'm unaffected by The Hot Boy's charms but I actually react like the queens do in the background at the end of his song when the other toms seem only interested in emulating his sex appeal" Mistoffelees were one hundred percent dating.

I'm furious the version on YouTube has black bars on the bottom of the video so I can't even watch it full screen. Normally that only happens with ultrawide videos (I have an ultrawide monitor) but no this just hates me specifically. Why would you put black bars on the bottom. YouTube you can upload videos to any ratio what the hell.

If i had watched this as a child i am certain I'd be a wholeass furry.

Except this musical is. so sexual. who is showing it to children and why. there's a fucking cat orgy. Rum Tum Tugger??? what the hell.

The choreography in this movie makes me go bonkers. I was gonna go "especially this song" but then i kept thinking of more examples.

I actually avoided watching it in full for a while after getting into Cats because I knew. The Awefull Battle of the Pekes and the Pollicles had some choice lines about. Chinese people. which! yikes! It's apparently changed in more modern adaptations but. still. yikes dude.

Absolutely obsessed with Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer. The cats themselves and the song.

Absolutely hate that its entirely unclear which cats are related. Like you'd assume Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer are siblings bc they look identical but some people like to take the "Character's romantic interest is them but Girl™️" approach and assume they're dating. i guess. and there's no canon so. And some people ship Demeter and Bombalurina but others call them sisters!!!!! It's hell!!

I wanna animate this so fucking bad. so bad. Macavaty and Skimbleshanks particularly. As cats. well like maybe anthro cats sometimes but still work as Normal Cats. like you know how in mlp the horse legs do not move like normal horse legs like they can't do that. like that. but maybe with the ability to stand up straight.

Though actually. surprisingly. I'd want to use the 2019 Skimbleshanks specifically because the begining is a solo instead of a chorus. I like the idea of Munkustrap hopping around weaving between human legs all bustling about the train station talking about how they can't find Skimbleshanks.

[shoichee]

hiii tysm for keeping this fandom alive... i was wondering if i could request hugging hcs for Moriyama, Kasamatsu, and Hayakawa? like what kind of hugs do they give, when, etc.?

BANGER REQUEST THIS IS SUCH A UNIQUE ONE I LOVE THIS THANK YOU ANON.... i hope you’re still around :^) 

[Headcanons]

Moriyama Yoshitaka

this guy is literally the definition of touch-starved LOL

once he finds his special someone, they’re gonna need to prepare themselves for TONS of verbal affection… even if they don’t get his convoluted words half the time

that being said, he wouldn’t be awkward with hugs, but it’s his misinterpretations and poor executions of the hugs that make things awkward

in his MIND, he THINKS he’s being mega suave and totally seducing you with his mannerisms, and you’re just here like, “umm… you know you can just… ask for a hug if you wanted one.”

“According to my research though, it’s better to approach this more poetically in order to be seen in a more profound light with the person you like.”

“Huh? Are you actually trusting the internet more than me about what I want—”

“Sorry, sorry, here,” he would mumble in defeat and immediately bring you to nestle your head against his chest

this type of interaction would be very frequent in the early stages of your shared relationship, where Moriyama would try to salvage his poor social skills by hugging you against body, and him putting his hand to cradle your head while the other is around your waist

of course, even if you were exasperated with him, you can’t help but eventually hug him back and snuggle closer

canon: he’d have unique scents on him every once in a while, because he’s someone to use scented deodorant sprays (like citrus, in the Replace novel)

he’d actually be unintentionally charismatic with his actions? like, if he doesn’t open his mouth and wordlessly hugs you, his body just knows how to accommodate you:

sad? happy? clingy? affectionate? lazy? when he sees your current mood, he just somehow knows what type of hugs to give you…

he thinks the internet advice is working, but in reality, he’s just inherently very in-tuned with people’s emotions; for example, he’s one of the few people who can see straight through Kasamatsu and his inner struggles, and he’s always the first person to suggest roundabout ways to make him relax

so because of this, sometimes he’d make the most confusing statements and random trivias he found from his “research” just to try to look for an opportunity to sneak up and glomp on you “tactfully” (never works, and you end up sighing that *sigh* before letting yourself be open on purpose for Moriyama to sneak in with a hug)

this dude is the type of guy who’d find every opportunity to hug you in front of his teammates to subtly show off how “experienced” he was in dating LOL and then he’d probably say something like, “If you follow the signs I told you guys about, you’ll all be able to have cute dates too, you know…” all while giving that little comical pout and index finger point at them… maybe flipping his bang to the side with that finger too…

but again, he’s touch-starved, so deep inside, he really, REALLY likes hugging you and wants to touch you every moment he gets

whenever he hugs you, he’s at his most “normal,” where he drops the whole “fate, elements, advice” talk and just has normal conversations and genuine muses… although a random corny line might slip out of habit

he hugs you before school, during school, after school, but rarely during practice or games or anything like that… which is surprisingly odd

he’ll hug you in front of his teammates during school no problem, but if it’s right before a practice or a game, he usually doesn’t, mostly because he’s usually very concentrated on the upcoming challenge… and not to mention, he’s a 3rd-year, so he does want to set a good example for the underclassmen in prioritizing the team first

he has no problem scouting for your face on the stands before a game starts though, and of course, he’d pester his team about how cute you looked in the stands

once games end, if you allowed him, he’d usually jog straight to you and would try to give you a quick hug before he’d go back to his teammates to the lockers

Kasamatsu Yukio

touch-starved guy #2, but is also afraid of physical contact

not because he doesn’t like it, but the concept of someone hugging him or him hugging someone for ROMANTIC reasons is so foreign

it’s the fact that he knows he’ll get super sweaty, clammy, and stiff and he KNOWS he’d focus on everything but also on nothing, and at that point he’ll just shut down—

so touch-starved that when he gets a hug from you, he’d be hyper-fixated on EVERYTHING about you and where you’re touching, and his brain would just overload

so the result is the same old Yukio being frozen and stammery and red

in other words, YOU have to initiate the hugs

whenever you hug him, he’s gonna first flinch and then respond by stiffly holding his arms out to support your weight against his body… and then after a few seconds of contact, he would awkwardly pat his two hands on your back in this loose hug he’s doing LOL

all while being red, of course

but how much he hugs depends on how much you go up to him for hugs; as much as he grumbles and stammers and lamely complains, he’d never reject any of your hugs, even with the hesitant reciprocation

if you two are alone, he’s much quicker to hug you back… if you hug him in public or in front of his teammates, he’s more likely to be frozen stiff and slower to pat your arms in a shy hug

however, the times when Kasamatsu would be at his lowest and most emotional are when Kasamatsu initiates the hugs first, often out of nowhere with fierce, tight holds while nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck/top of your shoulder

once he reveals his most vulnerable side like this to you in hugging you, it’d be huge milestone in which he would be more inclined to initiate physical contact without being in a flustered state

all in all, give the poor captain some time… eventually when you’ll reach a certain part of your relationship (see bullet points above), he’ll be comfortable enough to hug you without being a mess

so when he finally gets to this point, he will always ask you for consent (or at least give you a heads up) before he hugs you or physically touches you with, “May I…?” or “Do you mind…?”

and most of the time, or near always, you’d reply, “Of course, Yukio.”

“Th-That’s good…”

he’s still a reserved individual with a captain’s duty to uphold, so he’s not going to be handsy on his end in front of people; he’d literally DIE of embarrassment

expect “loose” hugs from him, he’s not gonna smush your face into his chest or give those extremely tight hugs, generally speaking

so what should you expect from his hugs? assuming that you hugged him first, his hands will always pat your back or rub soothing patterns of circles and swirls, almost in an unconscious effort to try to show you that he does love these hugs from you, even if it’s hard for him to show and express that sometimes

or if he has those shy moments, he’d try to half-heartedly pry you off in a grumbling fluster, but after grasping your arms around his waist, he’d immediately give in and just rub those familiar patterns on your upper arms while trying to convince you to wait until you’re alone with him to do these things

if he senses some sketchy people nearby or if you’re in a crowd full of strangers, expect a hand around your shoulder as he ushers you slightly closer to his side with a serious glint in his eyes, analyzing your surroundings (again, this will only happen once your relationship reaches at a later stage)

it’s only when the “danger” passes by and with his hand still on you that he realizes what he did and starts getting embarrassed again

key phrase with the Kaijō captain is: “There’s a time and place for everything.”

Hayakawa Mitsuhiro

touch-starved guy #3, but he’s not afraid to pounce on you for the hugs

ever since he miraculously got into a relationship with you (according to his teammates, anyways), slapping his own cheeks to get himself in the mood for rebounding wasn’t as appealing anymore

not when he has you to hug and accidentally squeeze the life out of you

“Oh!! A(l)e you he(l)e to chee(l) me on, (y/n)-san?!”

“M-Mitsu… I can’t… breathe—”

“O-Oh! So(l)(l)y…! I [will learn] to be mo(l)e ca(l)efu(r) next time!”

“Mitsuhiro, please don’t worry about me! Go back to your teammates… they’re waiting for you. Good luck on the game, okay?”

Hayakawa treats hugging like he does with basketball, putting 100% of his effort and enthusiasm into it… and oftentimes, his hugs can be too… explosive? they can be quite abrupt and intense

his energy alone would normally scare away everyone—hell, a lot of times, his teammates can’t tolerate it… so everyone always wonders how you never seem bothered by his tendencies

but to you, his bear hugs make you feel very, very secure and loved, since he never has qualms about hugging in public because he’s always focused on you or the courts

initially though, his hugs definitely crushed your figure into smithereens, mostly because he’s never had to keep his strength in check

and he’s never had anything close to an intimate relationship, so he’d probably need a lot of time and positive encouragement/advice for him to learn how to be more delicate (or rather, tactful) when initiating hugs

he’s SO earnest that he’d totally treat your words/encouragement as a serious lesson and would try to “practice” hugging and ask:

“Is this okay, (y/n)-san?!”

if you’re not around, he’d totally hug his teammates out of nowhere and definitely receive a few punches or kicks out of retaliation

“WHAT THE HELL?”

“I am p(l)acticing [how to] hug, Kasamatsu-senpai!”

“Don’t do that! People will get the wrong idea!!”

“Why? Don’t we a(r)ways p(l)actice togethe(l) as a team, captain?!”

“That’s completely different!!”

he has no tact, so whenever he sees you, expect a fierce hug as a greeting every time… unless you tell him that you’re not a fan of the constant hugging or want to save it for private moments, he’s gonna keep doing it

just as your hugs hype him up for anything upcoming, when you hug him a certain way, they also have a calming effect on this excitable boy too

Kasamatsu literally reveres you because you’re the only one who can keep him in check

it’s when you do your calming hugs (that gentle squeeze around his torso as you slowly nuzzle against him) that his heartbeat slightly slows down and his breath exhales out steadily to let out the pent-up steam

those types of hugs from your end would allow you to see a “less-energetic” side of him, where his voice might still be loud, but at least it’s still relatively indoor voice

still, a lot of his sentences are either incomprehensible mumbles or butchered exclaims, no in-between

“Sometimes, it’s good for your body and mind to stop and relax, y’know?”

“I-Is that so…! You a(l)e very knowled[geable] about these things! I [think] that is ve(l)y coo(r)…”

“You say that, but you’re one of the best offensive rebound players in the nation. That’s so much cooler, Mitsuhiro.”

“If I was coo(r) (r)ike you say, I wonde(l) why peop(r)e (l)un away [when I try] to ta(r)k? Mo(l)iyama-senpai says [it is because] I ‘have no cha(l)m’… I must wo(l)k ha(l)der [if that is the case]!”

“Well, I think your attitude and energy can be very refreshing. Everytime I see you, I can’t help but be motivated to work hard and accomplish like you do.”

“I am ve(l)y touched, (y/n)-san…!”

all in all, he will hug you every chance he gets (except when Kasamatsu roundhouse kicks him to curb him) and accepts all hugs from you (while being red and a little shy, but still enthusiastic)

prepare your waist/torso to be constantly crushed embraced, because that’s where his arms will always be around

[babygirlizz]

izzie’s favorite movies and tv shows of 2020 (aka the worst year ever)

another year, another movie and tv show review. this year has, to put it simply, sucked. 2020 has been so terribly awful that sometimes the only light you can see are the absolute bangers of movies and tv shows that came out this year. with that being said, some of the movies and tv shows didn't come out in 2020. if the are mentioned in this post it is because they either: had a season come out this year, i found them this year, or they became popular this year.

SPOILERS: it may not come as a surprise but just in case you didn't realize, there will be many spoilers ahead, read at your own risk.

tw // death, suicide, drug use, mild adult language. if any of these things might trigger you, i strongly urge you not to read this post.

there is no specific order of these shows and movies, i'm just writing as they come to mind. if you enjoy any of these movies or tv shows, or if you have any suggestions for me, please let me know!

TV SHOWS

1) Santa Clarita Diet

Okay, so I know this show doesn't have anything to do with 2020. But, I found this show in 2020. I put it off for a while, thinking it wasn't my style of a show, but boy was I wrong. I loved this show. Sheila Hammond (Drew Barrymore) is a normal suburban wife and mom. She is a real estate agent with her husband Joel (Timothy Olyphant). She struggles with the fact that she isn't very adventurous. This all changes when she throws up an insane amount at a house showing. She then finds herself craving adventure, and craving human flesh. Yeah, she's a zombie. Not only is this show super hilarious, but it also shows the growth that they have with their characters and their family. I'm also team Abby (Liv Hewson) and Eric (Skyler Gisondo).

2) Outer Banks

So, I'm from NC. And, watching this show at first bothered me because I can very obviously tell this show isn't actually filmed in the obx, and the geography isn't exact, but once I got past that, I loved it. John B (Chase Stokes) is a teenager that lives in the poor side of the outer banks. He has a friend group called the Pogues which consists of JJ (Rudy Pankow), Pope (Jonathan Daviss), and Kie (Madison Bailey). They absolutely hate the Kooks, which are the rich kids. A while after John B's dad gets lost at sea, presumed dead, the group finds some evidence that may solve the mystery, and make them rich. In the process, John B falls in love with a Kook names Sarah (Madelyn Cline) whose father Ward (Charles Esten) may have a little more to do with the mystery than he let on. Through friendship, murder, and secrets, the gang may just figure out what happened to John B's dad.

3) Love, Victor

Alright. I loved loved loved Love, Simon. I also really loved the book "Simon vs. the Homosapien Agenda." So, when I heard about this show, I was so excited. Victor (Michael Cimino) is a teenage boy that moved to Creekwood with his family. He meets Felix (Anthony Turpel) who lives in his building. He also meets Mia (Rachel Hilson) and they begin dating. But, he also meets Benji (George Sear). While trying to get used to a new school, new friends, and a new relationship, Victor finds himself questioning his sexuality. With the help of Simon (Nick Robinson) and his friends, Victor finds it in himself to finally come out, and he admits his feelings, for Benji. This is such a good show, but I was so upset when season 1 ended on a cliff-hanger.

4) The Haunting of Bly Manor

The sequel to The Haunting of Hill House. Now listen, haunting of hill house was an absolute banger. When I saw that Bly came out I nearly died. I was so excited. But, I was alone in my apartment and also a lil bitch. So, I had to wait a week until I was home with my family to watch it. Now, I was so excited to be scared, and there were a few jump scares and ominous moments, but this season was more centered around the story line of Dani Clayton (Victoria Pedretti) and her new life in a foreign country. When seeing an ad for a live in job as an au pair. When she gets there, she meets the two young children she’ll be looking out for and the other workers of the house, including the gardener, Jamie (Amelia Eve). Throughout her stay at Bly she begins to notice weird behaviors from both children and by the end of the series she sacrifices herself for the children. Sadly, this story is being told by Jamie who Dani had fallen in love with during her stay at Bly. Now I was somewhat upset about the lack of horror, but was still very intrigued and drawn in by this series.

5) Julie and the Phantoms

Alright, at first I was not gonna watch this show. I thought it looked a little too young and childish for me, but everyone was talking about it on twitter so I had to. I. Love. This. Show. This show centers around Julie (Madison Reyes). Julie is a teenage girl who, sadly, lost her mother. The one major thing she shared with her mom, was their love for music. Since her mothers passing, she gave up music. This is until, dead musicians from the 90′s show up in her garage. Luke (Charlie Gillespie), Alex (Owen Joyner), and Reggie (Jeremy Shada) all tragically passed away in the 90′s after eating bad street hotdogs. When Julie finds their CD in her garage, she decides to play it and they come back in ghost form. But, only she can see them. With their help, she finds her confidence to play music again. Also, she has to find away for them to stay because they’re slowly disappearing. 

6) Derry Girls

Bitch. I love this show. And yeah it didn’t come out in 2020. Shut up. I found this show recently after watching the cast on the holiday special of the Great British Baking Show. I loved the actors so I had to watch the show. This show focuses on Erin (Saoirse-Monica Jackson) a 16 year old girl that lives in Derry, Northern Ireland in the 90′s. Alongside her is her cousin Orla (Louisa Harland), her two friends Clare (Nicola Coughlan) and Michelle (Jamie-Lee O’Donnell), and Michelle’s English cousin James (Dylan Llewellyn). During these years, a lot of people in Ireland struggled, especially because it was during wartime. Even thought this show isn’t focused heavily around the war, it’s amazing to see these teens live a fulfilling life while struggling with the state of their country, and the lack of money that their families have. 

7) Elite

HA. This show did have a season in 2020 so leave me alone. But bro, I love this show. At first, I didn’t watch it because I thought I could only watch the dubbed version in English, which I hate. I hate dubbed shows they look so weird. But, once I found out I could watch this show in Spanish, I fell in love. But, sadly, theres too damn much to talk about in one little post. It’s crazy. But basically it just follows the lives of teens in high school that are trying to survive. And no, not in the “I’m surviving high school,” sense. No, people be getting murdered. 

MOVIES (tbh i didn’t find a lot of movies good this year lmk which movies u liked this year and maybe i’ll like them!)

1) All the Bright Places

After the death of her sister, Violet (Elle Fanning) is devastated. She closes herself off, and has her parents get her out of doing school work that involves working with others. But, as time goes on, they realize she may need to start to move on. Violet then meets Finch (Justice Smith) who is enamored by Violet. He suggests they do a project together. While finding and visiting some of the smallest wonders of their state, they begin to fall for each other. While you are focusing on Violet and her mental health, you tend to miss some of the signs that Finch’s mental health isn’t great either, but by the time you do, it could be too late. 

2) Dangerous Lies

Hmm. This was weird for me. I had only ever seen Camila Mendes in Riverdale, and honestly, not a fan. So, Katie (Camila Mendes) and her husband Adam (Jessie T. Usher) are struggling with money. Katie decides to take a job working for an elderly man, and eventually gets her husband hired there as well. Unfortunately, he dies, but for some odd reason, leaves the house and all of his fortune, to Katie. As they get comfortable in the house, they begin to uncover some very weird and dangerous lies. 

3) The Devil All the Time

Ok. Iconic. You got so many hot men in this movie. Bill Skarsgård, Sebastian Stan, Tom Holland, Robert Pattinson. C’mon now. That’s crazy. But, this story is so long and in depth that I wouldn’t even know where to begin. This movie is a bit disturbing. It involves murder, sexual assault, killing of animals, and so much more so if that’s an issue for you please do not watch this movie. It was also quite long, but it was still good.

4) After We Collided

Okay just listen. I was that teenager. I read wattpad stories and was, embarrassingly, addicted to After. This was not a great movie per say, but it was After. This is a sequel to the movie After. This movie centers around Tessa (Josephine Langford) and her recovery after her breakup with Hardin (Hero Fiennes Tiffin). Theres sex, alcohol, bad acting. The whole nine-yards. But c’mon, they’re so cute together.

5) To All the Boys p.s. I Still Love You

Okay it was a good movie. I enjoyed it. This movie focuses on Lara Jean (Lana Condor) and her boyfriend Peter (Noah Centineo) and their relationship post the first movie. But of course relationships aren’t super steady, and John Ambrose McClaren (Jordan Fisher) shows up. Yeah, John Ambrose, from her letter. They become closer and Lara Jean has to decide who she wants to be with. Spoiler, it’s Peter. BOOOOOOO justice for John Ambrose McClaren, he deserved better. 

[bananaofswifts]

Taylor Swift appears to be waging war over the serial resale of her old master recordings on two fronts. She recently confirmed that she is already underway in the process of re-recording the six albums she made for the Big Machine label, in order to steer her fans (and sync licensing execs) toward the coming alternate versions she’ll control. But now that she’s followed the surprise release of “Folklore” with the very, very surprise release of “Evermore” less than five months later, the thought may occur: If she keeps up this pace, she may have more new albums out on the Republic label than she ever did on Big Machine in a quarter of the time. Flooding the zone to further crowd out the oldies is unlikely to be Swift’s real motivation for giving the world a full-blown “Folklore” sequel this instantaneously: As motivations for prolific activity go, relieving and sublimating quarantine pressure is probably even better than revenge. Anyway, this is not a gift horse to be looked in the mouth. “Evermore,” like its mid-pandemic predecessor, feels like something that’s been labored over — in the best possible way — for years, not something that was written and recorded beginning in August, with the bow said to be put on it only about a week ago. Albums don’t get graded on a curve for how hastily they came together, or shouldn’t be, but this one doesn’t need the handicap. It’d be a jewel even if it’d been in progress forevermore and a day.The closest analog for the relation the new album bears to its predecessor might be one that’d seem ancient to much of Swift’s audience: U2 following “Achtung Baby” with “Zooropa” while still touring behind the previous album. It’s hard to remember now that a whole year and a half separated those two related projects; In that very different era, it seemed like a ridiculously fast follow-up. But the real comparison lies in how U2, having been rewarded for making a pretty gutsy change of pace with “Achtung,” seemed to say: You’re okay with a little experimentation? Let’s see how you like it when we really boil things down to our least commercial impulses, then — while we’ve still got you in the mood.Swift isn’t going avant-garde with “Evermore.” If anything, she’s just stripping things down to even more of an acoustic core, so that the new album often sounds like the folk record that the title of the previous one promised — albeit with nearly subliminal layers of Mellotrons, flutes, French horns and cellos that are so well embedded beneath the profuse finger-picking, you probably won’t notice them till you scour the credits. But it’s taking the risk of “Folklore” one step further by not even offering such an obvious banger (irony intended) as “Cardigan.” Aaron Dessner of the National produced or co-produced about two-thirds of the last record, but he’s on 14 out of 15 tracks here (Jack Antonoff gets the remaining spot), and so the new album is even more all of a piece with his arpeggiated chamber-pop impulses, Warmth amid iciness is a recurring lyrical motif here, and kind of a musical one, too, as Swift’s still increasingly agile vocal acting breathes heat into arrangements that might otherwise seem pretty controlled. At one point Swift sings, “Hey, December, I’m feeling unmoored,” like a woman who might even know she’s going to put her album out a couple of weeks before Christmas. It’s a wintry record — suitable for double-cardigan wearing! — and if you’re among the 99% who have been feeling unmoored, too, then perhaps you are Ready For It. Swift said in announcing the album that she was moving further into fiction songwriting after finding out it was a good fit on much of “Folklore,” a probably inevitable move for someone who’s turning 31 in a few days and appears to have a fairly settled personal life. Which is not to say that there aren’t scores to settle, and a few intriguing tracks whose real-life associations will be speculated upon. But just as the “Betty”/”August” love triangle of mid-year established that modern pop’s most celebrated confessional writer can just make shit up, too, so, here, do we get the narrator of “Dorothea,” a honey in Tupelo who is telling a childhood friend who moved away and became famous that she’s always welcome back in her hometown. (Swift may be doing a bit of empathic wondering in a couple of tracks here how it feels to be at the other end of the telescope.) One time the album takes a turn away from rumination into a pure spirit of fun — while getting dark anyway — is “No Body, No Crime,” a spirited double-murder ballad that may have more than a little inspiration in “Goodbye, Earl.” Since Swift already used the Dixie Chicks for background vocals two albums ago, for this one she brings in two of the sisters from Haim, Danielle and Este, and even uses the latter’s name for one of the characters. Yes, the rock band Haim’s featured appearance is on the only really country-sounding song on the record… there’s one you didn’t see coming, in the 16 hours you had to wonder about it. Yet there are also a handful of songs that clearly represent a Swiftian state of mind. At least, it’s easy to suppose that the love songs that opens the album, “Willow,” is a cousin to the previous record’s “Invisible String” and “Peace,” even if it doesn’t offer quite as many clearly corroborating details about her current relationship as those did. On the sadder side, Swift is apparently determined to run through her entire family tree for heartrending material. On “Lover,” she sang for her stricken mother; on “Folklore,” for her grandfather in wartime. In that tradition the new album offers “Marjorie,” about the beloved grandmother she lost in 2003, when she was 13. (The lyric videos that are being offered online mostly offer static visual loops, but the one for “Marjorie” is an exception, reviving a wealth of stills and home-movie footage of Grandma, who was quite a looker in a miniskirt in her day.) Rue is not something Swift is afraid of here anymore than anywhere else, as she sings, “I should’ve asked you questions / I should’ve asked you how to be / Asked you to write it down for me / Should’ve kept every grocery store receipt / ‘Cause every scrap of you would be taken from me,” lines that will leave a dry eye only in houses that have never known death. The piece de resistance in its poignance is Swift actually resurrecting faint audio clips of Marjorie, who was an opera singer back in the day. It’s almost like ELO’s “Rockaria,” played for weeping instead of a laugh. Swift has not given up, thank God, on the medium that brought her to the dance — the breakup song — but most of them here have more to do with dimming memories and the search for forgiveness, however slowly and incompletely achieved, than feist. But doesn’t Swift know that we like her when she’s angry? She does, and so she delves deep into something like venom just once, but it’s a good one. The ire in “Closure,” a pulsating song about an unwelcome “we can still be friends, right?” letter from an ex, seems so fresh and close to the surface that it would be reasonable to speculate that it is not about a romantic relationship at all, but a professional one she has no intention of ever recalling in a sweet light. Or maybe she does harbor that a disdain for an actual former love with that machinelike a level of intensity. What “Evermore” is full of is narratives that, like the music that accompanies them, really come into focus on second or third listen, usually because of a detail or two that turns her sometimes impressionistic modes completely vivid. “Champagne Problems” is a superb example of her abilities as a storyteller who doesn’t always tell all: She’s playing the role of a woman who quickly ruins a relationship by balking at a marriage proposal the guy had assumed was an easy enough yes that he’d tipped off his nearby family. “Sometimes you just don’t know the answer ‘ Til someone’s on their knees and asks you / ‘She would’ve made such a lovely bride / What a shame she’s fucked in the head’ / They said / But you’ll find the real thing instead / She’ll patch up your tapestry that I shred.” (Swift has doubled the F-bomb quotient this time around, among other expletives, for anyone who may be wondering whether there’s rough wordplay amid Dessner’s delicacy — that would an effing yes.) “‘Tis the Damn Season,” representing a gentler expletive, gives us a character who is willing to settle, or at least share a Christmas-time bed with an ex back in the hometown, till something better comes along. The pleasures here are shared, though not many more fellow artists have broken into her quarantine bubble this time around. Besides Haim’s cameo, Marcus Mumford offers a lovely harmony vocal on “Cowboy Like Me,” which might count as the other country song on the album, and even throws in something Swift never much favored in her Nashville days, a bit of lap steel. Its tale of male and female grifters meeting and maybe — maybe — falling in love is really more determinedly Western than C&W, per se, though. The National itself, as a group, finally gets featured billing on “Coney Island,” with Matt Berninger taking a duet vocal on a track that recalls the previous album’s celebrated Bon Iver collaboration “Exile,” with ex-lovers taking quiet turns deciding who was to blame. (Swift saves the rare laugh line for herself: “We were like the mall before the internet / It was the one place to be.) Don’t worry, legions of new Bon Iver fans: Dessner has not kicked Justin Vernon out of his inner circle just to make room for Berninger. The Bon Iver frontman whose appearance on “Folklore” came as a bit of a shock to some of his fan base actually makes several appearances on this album, and the one that gets him elevated to featured status again, as a duet, the closing “Evermore,” is different from “Exile” in two key ways. Vernon gets to sing in his high register… and he gets the girl. As it turned out, the year 2020 did not involve any such waiting for Swift fans; it’s an embarrassment of stunning albums-ending-in-“ore” that she’s mined out of a locked-down muse.

[cup-ah-jho]

So I finally finished Omori!

Uh...I got thoughts. Lots of them. They’re bulleted below for your viewing pleasure and my mental checklist. Spoilers abound below the cut, so please refrain from reading if you haven’t finished the game!

Omori is a love letter to video games. From its Earthbound inspired design to its various little nods to other games whether intentional or not. (The music at the train station and the musician whose song sounds like a K. K. Slider classic [Animal Crossing], the baseball and the bat [Off], the whale level [Kingdom Hearts], and the toaster and the blender [To the Moon and Finding Paradise, as included in the game per Cr*aot*c’s request to Kan Gao unless he lied about that, too...] are some of the one’s I noticed!) It feels very similar to the RPG Maker games I grew up with like Wadanohara and The Grey Garden, so I felt at home exploring the world!

I agree with a lot of the points that uricksaladbar (a fantastic youtuber, and I highly recommend his content if you like well-edited and well-written video game essays) brought up with regards to the use of Headspace and how the events there do not progress the plot, but I think Headspace’s main function is like a daydream to distract from what lies hidden and that the time spent there isn’t supposed to advance the plot. Traumatic memories are sometime repressed to protect a person and that’s the primary function of Headspace: to keep those memories from resurfacing. It’s kind of why it starts to crack, slowly but steadily, as Sunny leaves his house. It’s also why Sunny has a fear of heights, drowning, and spiders because his memories associated with them are intertwined with his trauma. Whether aware of it or not, those phobias actively keep him from thinking about Mari. Despite the pacing issues, I had a lot of fun exploring Headspace (except for the area from the Last Resort to Humphrey. Especially Humphrey. Fuck you, Humphrey), and it’s interesting to look at its “lack of progression” as being a meaningful design choice than “padding for length.”

I really like the Faraway Town sections more, but that’s because I prefer the more natural color scheme and grounded setting. My favorite gaming series of all time is Story of Seasons, so casually taking part-time jobs and getting to know the townspeople was definitely something I enjoyed more than the RPG elements of Headspace.

Omori does a great job of showing how different people grieve, and I love how it reconciles with the fact that there is no “right way to grieve.” I remember talking with one of my old roommates about the book The Sky is Everywhere by Jandy Nelson, and she said she didn’t like it. It conveys a very unconventional method of grieving, similar to the one found in the manga Haru’s Curse/Haru no Noroi by Asuka Konishi, which can make it hard for some people to relate to. More than anything, I do genuinely believe the crux of this story is learning how to accept and overcome grief, and it’s wrapped up in a happy little tale of friendship!

I don’t have much to say on the characters (except for Basil; he’s got his own bullet point after this). They’re functional for the plot. That’s about it. But I would like an IRL Hero for myself, please.

I...don’t really like Basil all that much. And while a lot of people, my brother included, keep calling him “best boy” and “the bestest friend you could ever have,” all I saw was an insecure boy. It’s true that the trauma haunting him may have contributed to it as well, but the need to be the photographer, to take pictures, to enjoy from a distance, tells me just how desperately he needed them in his life. (Note the photo album is called Basil’s Memories and not referencing the group as whole.) Which is why his involvement in Mari’s death and the ensuing fallout, while already traumatic for anyone, probably hit him the hardest. Because he ended up alone, unable to escape the trauma, compared to the other four who found other avenues of coping besides Constant Suffering, even if some of their coping mechanisms weren’t exactly healthy.

The personification of their trauma is fantastic. Basil’s takes the form of roots that act like vines, trapping him. Sunny’s is the silhouette of Mari’s hanging body with her eye open, looking at him, haunting him like a ghost. Very symbolic!

I...uh...thought the twist was kind of...underwhelming. The game does a very good job foreshadowing Mari’s death being related to her hanging herself, which I did believe for most of my time with the game, but I was having second thoughts with what Shadow Basil, Basil, and even Aubrey was implying. Clearly Basil had something to do with Mari’s death, but my conclusion was that he killed Mari as an act of self defense to protect Sunny and Aubrey witnessed it. Like I literally thought Mari was a slimy sister that was wonderful and great to everyone but Sunny. (I’m so sorry, Mari.) This falls in line if this game were actually a psychological horror, but this game fell kind of flat in that regard. I don’t consider it as a psychological horror (more just psychological with slight horror elements), and I think coming in expecting a full blown psychological horror kind of dampened The Plot Twist for me. I was expecting to be absolutely horrified but...I just ended up feeling really bad for two kids who were so traumatized they literally Could Not Handle It.

Besides being a very good story for grief, Omori does a fantastic job in showing the affect that trauma has on people. I should also note that Sunny’s three phobias is a very typical when several traumatic instances happen in close succession. We often like to think of trauma as a result of a singular event, which it can be in cases like say a terrible car crash, but it sort of simplifies and reduces the effect of the trauma in a way. Trauma is best described, in my opinion, as an onion or a mille feuille, insert your choice of layered object here, because that singular event is composed of tiny little events or memories (perhaps broken down by senses). The game uses a simplistic way of doing it by breaking Sunny’s reaction to the drowning event into three phobias compartmentalized in Headspace, but it is something to note since most media likes to handle trauma as The Thing instead of the Amalgamation of Things that Make this Thing Traumatic.

Lastly, the soundtrack is a whole banger. Absolutely amazing.

To those who got to the end of this, thank you for reading! This isn’t necessarily a review for Omori, but it’s more so a place for me to jot down any thoughts and expand upon them. It’s been good practice for me in breaking down narratives and trying to see things from different perspectives or expanding upon why I don’t like things besides just not liking them lol.

[psqqa]

What songs are on your yunmeng bros playlist?? (If you dont mind sharing)

being given an excuse to inflict my music taste on a halfway captive audience is literally the dream, so no, anon, i absolutely do not mind.

a not insignificant portion of this playlist is just a subset of my jiang cheng playlist. and sometimes it’s a bit less a yunmeng bros playlist and a bit more of a yunmeng sibs playlist (although not as much as i would like it to be, really).

i’m just going to forestall any attempts to find any kind of structure or meaning in the order of this list by telling you there isn’t any. this is just the order they happen to currently be in. i’m struggling more than usual to whittle this into a shape i like and a significant part of that is down to the fact that there is simply nowhere one can put a 12 minute song that doesn’t stop the playlist momentum dead in its tracks (except perhaps right at the end, but No That’s Wrong Also). 

anyway, that aside, i just threw this all into spotify (minus the joanna newsom song, that is, because she continues to elect to not go there), so you can find it there if that’s your jam.

Brother Sport - Animal Collective

this is one of the songs that’s been throwing everything else off, because, unlike the rest of this sadsack list, it’s a total banger.

open up your open up your open up your throat and let time all of that time all of that time all of that time go

Futile Devices - Sufjan Stevens 

at some point, hopefully, these two bozos will realize words aren’t futile devices, and that they can use them to tell each other things, things like how important they are to each other.

and i would say i love you but saying it out loud is hard so i won’t say it at all 

Emily - Joanna Newsom

12 minutes and every single of them is crucial. This Is My Yunmeng Siblings Song. it doesn’t fit anywhere except in the vast space i need to be able to carry all my feelings about these three.

let us go though we know it’s a hopeless endeavour the ties that bind they are barbed and spined and hold us close forever

Start A War - The National

listen when it comes down to it, i’m a pretty literal-minded person.

you were always weird but i never had to hold you by the edges like i do now walk away now and you’re gonna start a war

Going Steady - Death From Above 1979

another piece of yanli in this one. just replace “mother” with “sister” (i’m so sorry your parents did that to you, yanli. you deserved better).

she’s going steady but we’re not ready oh to see her fall to see her fall to see her fall in love

Helena - My Chemical Romance

yeah i said what i fucking said. no one does raw like gerard way, and in this song it’s anger, and grief, and hurt, and self-loathing, and longing, and love, and self-destructiveness about it. i imagine it’s roughly the place jiang cheng is in the first few years after wei wuxian’s death. a jagged wound tearing itself open again and again.

burning on just like the match you strike to incinerate the lives of everyone you know

Black Gold - Foals

lyrics websites keep telling me it’s “your hollow heart” and not “you’re a hollow heart”. i don’t trust them, but i am notoriously terrible at hearing lyrics, so we’re at an impasse. anyway, i prefer my version, so i’m just going to ignore all that.

they gouged you out they dug you in they took the name right out of your mouth hollow heart you’re a hollow heart

Don’t Wanna Fight - Alabama Shakes

being at odds with the world is pretty exhausting. being at odds with your brother doubly so.

my line your line don’t cross them lines what you like what i like why can’t we both be right 

Mykonos - Fleet Foxes

idk man a lot of 2012 tumblr jams just really work for this show.

you go wherever you go today you go today 

Mine Is Yours - Cold War Kids

i think we all agree that wei wuxian could stand to be a bit less committed to this concept.

cause i don’t own the sun i don’t own the moon they only come out when they want to they don’t care whether i promised you

I Should Live In Salt - The National

Whence Comes The Playlist Title.

don’t make me read your mind you should know me better than that it takes me too much time you should know me better than that

Summer Home - Typhoon

This Is My Jiang Cheng Song (and the source of my jiang cheng playlist title). it literally never fails to fuck me up. it’s fucking me up right now just thinking about it. anyway, i hear it as “home” instead of “whole”. “whole” doesn’t necessarily take away from the line, because i think thematically it’s basically getting at the same concept, but for both personal and *motions at jiang cheng’s entire life* reasons, “home” fucks me up that much more. although really, by way of like mental furigana, it ends up being both anyway.

can we wait for the summer again can we hold out for summer again can we ever be whole again

So Here We Are - Bloc Party

speaking of the whole thematic concept of “home” fucking me up about these dudes.

i caught a glimpse but it’s been forgotten so here we are again i made a vow to carry you on home

Orange Sky - Alexi Murdoch

like i said. 2012 tumblr jams.

well i had a dream i stood beneath an orange sky with my brother and my sister standing by

Better Off Alone - Alice Deejay

okay so you know how people are like “is it even an otp if you can’t picture it as a ‘how to save a life’ fanvid?” for me it’s “is it even an otp if you can’t put alice deejay’s 1998 vocal trance masterpiece ‘better off alone’ on the playlist?” ‘otp’ is of course a misnomer. ‘interpersonal relationship of many feelings’ perhaps.

talk to me

Enchanting Ghost - Sufjan Stevens

no one does getting left behind by someone you love like ya boy suf

don’t carry on carrying efforts oh no oh oh oh somewhere there’s a room for each of us to grow and if it pleases you to leave me just go

Zephyrus - Bloc Party

okay this one is actually driving me nuts, because it’s more explicitly romantic than i would generally put on this playlist and overall i wouldn’t say it’s a great fit, but i just can’t take it off, because in the end it goes right down to root of it all and voices precisely that which jiang cheng never did:

and all you said in your quietest voice was i needed you as much as they do

[rynhaswritersblock]

masterlist 🕊

hi!! welcome to my masterlist!

i try to make all of my imagines as inclusive as possible. PLEASE let me know if i discriminate against any group in any way; this is a safe space for everyone!

fluff 🧸 | angst 🕯| steamy ⚡️| personal favorite 🦦 | from an event ✨ ↬ i write predominantly fluff!

PETER PARKER imagines - anywhere from 1k to 10k words

desperate times and desperate measures 🧸 ↬ you're an avenger on a fake date with peter to get information from a group of villains, and peter has to think quick in order not to blow your cover... wink wink

far from home (part one, part two, part three, part four, part five) 🧸🕯 ↬ you and peter sit next to each other on the plane to europe and what begins as a friendship turns into so much more

can’t help it 🧸⚡️ ↬ you and peter have been dating for a few months now, and being the kind boy he is, he always asks for a kiss when he wants one. when kissing he always lets you set the pace because he's afraid to hurt you (because of his powers), but this time, his feelings are too much…

sista-sista 🧸🕯 ↬ you (peter's sister) were recruited by nick fury multiple years ago. ever since he discovered you, he took you in and trained you to work behind the scenes at S.H.I.E.L.D., and was the one to help you recover after being kidnapped by a terrorist group and experimented on (which resulted in you getting your powers). nick convinces you to work on a mission with peter, resulting in your coming clean to him about your past and the biological relationship between the two of you

study date 🧸 ↬ you and peter have been friends for most of your life but have slightly grown apart this last year due to peter's spider-man duties. finally, the two of you get together to work on a project and things... happen?

fancy-schmancy 🧸 ↬ you and peter sneak out of a fancy charity event because adults are boring and there’s better things to do

competitive 🧸 ↬ you and peter have had an interesting relationship due to the fact that you're both competing for being number one in your class. but, over time, a small, unexpected romance grows out of the rivalry

laser tag 🧸⚡️ ↬ tony organizes a game of avengers laser tag. you and peter are on opposite sides and have made it clear to each other that you will fight to the death- whatever it takes

NINE-NINE! 🧸 ↬ you and peter spend most nights watching brooklyn nine-nine together and have found just how similar the two of you were to the show's lead couple, jake and amy

how about a kiss, saumensch? (part one, part two) 🧸🕯 ↬ when peter sees you reading the book thief and talking about it afterwards, your love for it makes him want to read it. so, he does, and he decides to follow in the steps of rudy steiner, asking for a kiss at every chance he gets

take your things and go (part one, part two) 🧸🕯 ↬ you and peter have a love-hate relationship that makes some advances when the two of you land in a close situation

holy water!  🧸⚡️ ↬ after catching you and peter getting a little heated, natasha decides to take things into her own hands... in the messiest of ways

letters 🧸 ↬  after too long a wait for you and peter to just get together, the team decides to get you together their way

curiosity killed the cat 🧸🦦 ↬ peter parker is a photographer. the boy is absolutely obsessed with taking pictures of anything that attracts him, anything that catches his eye... anything, particularly you

under the mistletoe 🧸🕯 ↬ high school holiday parties can lead to unfortunate circumstances... especially when it involves your lifelong enemy and one godforsaken garnish

spider-man chapstick 🧸 ↬ nostalgic finds at new york bodegas can lead to flirtatious and awkward encounters with the boy you call your best friend

the benefits of fake dating 🧸 ↬ although incredibly annoying, flash thompson’s arrogance was just what you and peter needed

valentine’s and pickup lines 🧸🦦 ↬  sometimes, having to do mj's job for her can work out in the best ways. especially when it's valentine's day and a certain local hero has an errand to make

midtown morning announcements 🧸🕯 ↬ as a reporter for midtown tech's daily announcements, it's easy to get carried away with ideas. especially ones involving the newest superhero from queens

brace-face 🧸🦦 ↬ in which you get braces, peter is persistent, and mr. delmar gives you free slushees

take a bullet 🧸🕯 ↬ you and peter go on your first mission without the team, flirting can be a powerful tool, and cliches like "taking a bullet" for someone don't seem so unrealistic anymore

bad date 🧸 ↬ maybe trying to get over a crush on your best friend wasn't such a good idea after all

trust issues 🧸🕯 ↬ it wasn't peter's fault that he had trust issues after his mentor's death and his most recent superhero friend's manipulation, but it also wasn't your fault that you just wanted to be his friend

locked out 🧸 ↬ y/n can't remember to grab her keys, peter misses the old days with you, and may baked extra cookies

peter! from physics! 🧸 ↬ y/n can't be controlled by wallets, peter parker gets crushes too easily, and crime in new york is abnormally low

to the man who let her go 🧸🕯 ↬ fuck brad davis. yeah

odd one out 🧸🕯 ↬ thanos' plan was to wipe out half of the universe, but what happens when the universe isn't evenly numbered?

swing and a kiss 🧸 ↬  crushes from english class and a *touch* of ptsd turn into a new form of transportation, messy rooftop shenanigans, and a lecture from one (1) tony stark

i want it, i got it 🧸 ↬ newfound confidence during karaoke night certainly can end up in peter parker making bold moves

stolen kisses 🧸 ↬ secret dating always ends in getting caught, especially by a suspicious best friend and a group of superheroes that’s been rooting for you and peter for years.

wish i were heather  🕯 ↬ a relationship that never happened and the wrong one that did.

blurbs - under 1k words

party confessions 🧸⚡️ ↬ you and peter get paired up for seven minutes in heaven

go fix my car, assbag 🧸 ↬ you catch flash bullying peter in the hallway and you decide you've had enough of his crap (haven't we all?)

over-protective peter 🧸 ↬ when flash harasses you in the hallway, peter steps in and gets maybe a bit too angry…

movies and cuddles 🧸 ↬ the avengers have a movie night and you and peter end up in a slightly embarrassing situation

let me show you 🧸 ↬ peter helps you frost a cake in the avengers' kitchen at midnight and it turns into a food fight in which your father, tony stark, catches the two of you mid-fight  

scaredy-cat 🧸 ↬ you and peter are dorm neighbors (at MIT, of course), and he helps you out of a sticky-spider-situation

condensation 🧸🦦 ↬ cute neighbors drawing on condensated windows sure have the key to your heart

may? 🧸 ↬ sometimes, peter parker is a bit too caught up in the moment to realize the words that come out of his mouth... but, all for the lolz, right?

care package 🧸🕯 ↬ life is tough, but when a boy donned in red and blue shows up to make you feel better, it isn't so bad

eau de cologne 🧸⚡️🦦 ↬ avengers galas normally annoy you, but the scent of a certain hero can most certainly distract you

massage for massage? 🕯 ↬ unrequited feelings hurt, especially when your hands are the one massaging away his pain

a drive to montauk 🧸 ↬ a peaceful roadtrip with peter

moonlight tears (part one, part two) 🕯 ↬ depression took you away from yourself, but peter didn't let it take you away from him

the penis game 🧸🦦 ↬ a group of boys at the library plays the penis game and none of them manage to get above a quiet yell, so you take matters into your own hands

peter parker for pepper spray! 🧸 ↬ y/n lost her pepper spray, old men in new york are creepy, and peter parker just walked out of delmar's with a sandwich in hand and a kind enough heart to help out an enemy

english lit meet-cute 🧸 ↬ all it takes is an awkward mishap and some confidence to finally get you and the boy you keep seeing around campus together.

overnight beach trip 🧸✨ ↬ in which you and peter take a trip to the beach for a night.

headcanons - stories in the form of chaotic bullet-points

internship 🧸 ↬ tony stark not only helped in bringing together a group of people to protect earth, but also in sparking young love

dirty talk (part one, part two) ⚡️🦦 ↬ to the public, peter parker is the epitome of innocent, but after a conversation at lunch, he is determined to prove the opposite

hallway bookworm 🧸 ↬ girls reading and crying while walking in the hallway sure do seem to have an effect on peter parker

tiktok famous (part one, part two, part three, part four) 🧸⚡️ ↬ the wonderful chaotic adventures of y/n and peter making tiktoks

midnight at delmar’s 🧸 ↬ working alone late at night can be dangerous. 'nuff said

i go hard like thanos 🧸 ↬ popping off to an absolute banger during an avengers meeting is the best way to set yourselves up for failure

quaranteens 🧸 ↬ how you and petey boi spend your quarantine <3

gross 🧸🦦 ↬ chaotic mess in which you pull a Dumb Bitch Move and write a song for peter while relying on the hope that he never sees it

new york boy 🧸 ↬ life is hard when you visit your uncle in new york and all of a sudden there's a cute boy named peter parker in your life

giant teddy bears 🧸 ↬ first dates are awkward, peter sucks at dance dance revolution, and the night ends with a giant teddy bear and something sweet

actual books!

flicks (currently on wattpad; i will not be uploading this to tumblr as of now) ↬ in which a girl named indigo and a boy named peter bond over the love of movies, the loss of parents, and the power of saving the world | bonus imagine! 

lmk if any of the links are faulty or if there are any other problems with the imagines! i have been on this site working on transferring my work for hours i have the brain of a strapless croc rn pls forgive me!

[nostalgic-pancakes]

one day (i know that you will be there)

Summary: Here, have some fluffy transbur :D

Pairings: gen everyone, with a specific focus on crimeboys

Read on AO3

Word count: 2070

Warnings: None? I guess? Tell me if there are any, but I don’t see them

Other notes: Part of @noorahqar‘s BANGER discord server Pride Event!

Please DO NOT send this to the CC’s or even imply that this exists because No, Thank you

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Sometimes, it feels like it's okay. Nothing's wrong at all and in fact, Wilbur is happy.

Other times it feels like he's stuck in his own skin, a place he can't get out of.

Wilbur doesn't really know what's going on with his gender. He's always been cis, it's all he knows we it's his comfort zone. Even while his life was being wholly upended by YouTube, and Twitch and life in general, Wilbur's gender was always a constant- the one thing he never worried about or spent too much time on. It was his gender, and it was just kind of...there.

Sometimes when gender is part of the conversation, people display confusion when Wilbur talks about his gender like something separate from him that was tied on and is just there now, like a bit of hair that can never stay in place, but isn't necessarily a bother, either. But isn't gender like that for everyone?

Well, according to the one and only Tommyinnit, no.

"Well… for me, my gender is pretty malleable. It's more of a fucking... fucking abstract concept than a feeling? I'm a little detached from mine, but not as much as that, Wilbs."

"Then what is your gender like?" Wilbur asks. It's late on a Friday night, and Wilbur had ended up visiting Tommy's flat out of mostly impulse, living just under a kilometre away from his sibling these days. They're in the living room, splayed out on the floor talking about anything and everything in the dark, too quiet to wake Tubbo and Ranboo.

Wilbur’s not agender- he has a gender that he keeps around, even if it stays reasonably sectioned away from the rest of him.

Tommy hums, an older tune that Wilbur can't place as he fiddles around with some wool scraps ("Cabbages!" Tommy insists indignantly) leftover from the cardigan they had just finished when Wilbur walked in. It's a burgundy colour that's probably going to be matched with one of Tommy's longer cream skirts to University Monday morning.

"My gender is a… a kind of vibe? I guess? To me it feels like skirts doing that cool swoosh thing in the wind around you while you walk or eating Tubbo's chicken soup and that feeling I always got after a Dream SMP stream. It's weird, but that's my gender I guess." And that is weird. It's weird as fuck, but Tommy's gender sounds really fucking cool so Wilbur tries anyways. Tries to imagine what his gender, the amorphous entity that it is, feels like to him.

It's hard, at first, but then Wilbur starts humming. He's always done better with auditory concepts than visual or tactile ones, strumming tunes together that tie in with his latest hyperfixation.

So Wilbur hums. He starts with 'White Wine in a Wetherspoons' and then 'Cause for Concern' with a little bit of 'Your new Boyfriend' thrown in for posterity as it all starts to come together. Tommy starts tapping his finger on the plywood floor, creating a small beat.

His gender feels nice, actually, and not just the neutral burden that the universe has him carry around. It begins to feel like the warmth in Wilbur's chest when someone says "Hey, don't stop. Tell me more, this is interesting" to even the most niche fixations that Wilbur has ever had, like the different types of bricks or the historical fashion one he had at the same time as Tommy and they made dozens of Pinterest boards together (1830’s hairstyles his beloved). It feels like Phil calling him 'Son' in that chamomile accent, like everything will be fine. It feels like the tipsy laughs he and Niki share when getting drunk together and it sounds like the quick, comforting 'bzzt bzzt bzzt' of Tommy's sewing machine running on the other side of the flat while Wilbur makes them breakfast because they and his flatmates are fundamentally incapable of looking after themselves.

It's really a pretty nice gender, actually. So when Wilbur closes its metaphorical pouch and clips it back onto his metaphorical backpack, he feels lighter, warmer inside than before. Is this how Tommy feels sometimes?

The tapping stops and Wilbur realises that Tommy's fallen asleep, surrounded by scraps of cabbage on a fairly cold plywood floor. This will not do. Thankfully, Wilbur has gained enough arm strength to reasonably carry the nineteen-year-old to his bedroom, carefully avoiding sewing pins that Tommy will clean up frantically in the morning. Tubbo and Ranboo are asleep as before, in the same place, huddled together on the lowest bunk covered in blankets, with just enough room for another person.

Tommy fits in perfectly, head on Ranboo's shoulder and the rest of him swathed in blankets to protect from the cold. It's started to show fairly heavily outside so going home is not possible. Therefore, Wilbur stays.

The guest room still has some of his shit from the last time he stayed over, around a week ago. Piling a thick-ish duvet on top of himself, Wilbur sleeps, more at peace than he's ever been.

-

Monday morning, Wilbur tries out pronouns. He was spending the weekend in a bit of a haze of filming and social interaction and talking to Elodie, his editor, in order to have most of this week free.

He's back at home with pronoun dressing rooms loaded on Firefox, a Geoguessur stream finished and a free day with spoons to spare. It is time.

First- she/her.

This is Wilbur, the site reads, She's 27 years old with a penchant for making songs. She also really likes hanging out with her sibling, Tommy and her best friends on the Dream SMP. She still ships DNF.

Oh. Oh wow. She/Her works pretty well actually. Wilbur likes that for herself.

Next- they/them. This is not as nice, but it's also not bad, necessarily.

Fae/Faer- this one is pleasant enough.

Everything else is okay, Wilbur supposes. She figures that just knowing that he/him isn't the only answer is good enough for herself.

The first person she tells is Tommy, on a phone call during one of his frees.

“Okay, so he, she and fae, right?” they ask, rolling the pronouns around like the colorful hard candies sold in packets of two hundred each, muttering small sentences, barely audible to the phone mic amongst the dozens of student voices around him, pitter-pattering like sleet on cars heard from a cozy living room.

“Yeah. pronouns change by the day. Please don’t interchange them.” Wilbur confirms, short and soft.

“Oh that’s really fucking cool. What are they today? Does anyone else know? Do you have names you want to be called instead?” Tommy asks, orange-sweet in his kind concern and slowed down questions as to not deflate the souffle in Wilbur’s brain.

“Uh, she/her, and no, not yet on the knowing and the name thing. I’m going to tell Phil and Niki, then Dream, probably. Wish me luck.” Wilbur answers, the ‘wish me luck’ thrown in more as a formality than anything, but she’s still nervous, thoughts spinning in popcorn-crunch circles, pop pop pop about how it could go wrong and even if Tommy and Ranboo were accepted, perhaps that courtesy won’t be extended to her. Tommy, the absolute fucking legend as always seems to have figured that much out.

“Wil. Wilbur. Wilby. Big Dubs- It’s going to be fucking fine, you’re popcorn-popping again and while that’s one of your idiosyncrasies and I fucking love those, you are also freaking the fuck out. Everything will be fine, alright?”

“Idiosyncrasies? Where did you learn that? Is ‘The Tommyinnit’ learning new big words?” Wilbur teases, to mask her affection just a little bit, even as it seeps out of her voice like honey in a sopapilla, warm and sticky and sweet.

“Don’t fucking patronize me.” Tommy retorts, instinctive as it’s been for the past few years now, no bite behind their words. “I’ve got South Asian Lit now- call us in the evening?” he asks, because Tommy, Tubbo and Ranboo are a single unit in the evening. Do not attempt separation till after midnight. Wilbur laughs, a small thing only audible to her sibling over the phone.

“Course. You can tell them yourself, if you want.”

“Okay. Now I need to walk like, three buildings or some shit, so I’m hanging the fuck up. See you later?” Tommy’s voice is softer towards the end, cotton candy and Wilbur melts, just a little bit.

“Okay, bye Tommy.”

“Bye Wil. Good luck.” Tommy hangs up a few seconds later, the last thing on the line that Wilbur can hear being Ranboo’s steadily louder voice as end catches up to Tommy, and Wilbur keeps the phone to her ear for a few seconds more, before putting it on charge and loading up Discord, to find Phil and Dream on VC 3 together, Tubbo and Purpled occupying the beloved VC 2.

Wilbur joins the call, taking in a deep breath and letting it out, and taking a sip of lukewarm tea. Earl Grey, probably taken from the tea box Phil gifted her on Christmas and prepares herself.

“Ay, H’lo, son.”

“Hey, Wilbur!” Dream’s voice, chirpy and crisp as a freshly-picked apple registers first, just before Phil’s comforting chamomile and Wilbur is at ease very quickly, because it’s Dream and Phil. It is literally impossible for things to go wrong.

“Hi! I just came on here to tell you something.” Wilbur starts. After hearing noises of agreement, like popping candy, Wilbur starts.

“Um, so on Friday, Tommy and I did some soul-searching. Well, I did most of the searching. And uh, I figured out that I’m technically genderfluid, but my gender is a series of abstracts and I use he, she and fae pronouns.” It’s quiet for a second, before Phil responds.

“Hey, that’s pogchamp, mate. What pronouns are you using right now? Are they interchangeable?” Dream makes a noise in agreement, in questioning.

“Thanks, and uh, she/her, and no. not interchangeable. I use certain pronouns until I don’t.”

“Oh, that’s cool! Should I update your pronoun role in the Discord to ‘ask for pronouns’?” Dream finally says, and in typical Dream fashion, it’s by getting straight to business. It’s ridiculously endearing, even five years on, knowing everyone’s little quirks and idiosyncrasies (thanks Tommy for reminding her that the word exists) that it’s still possible to be endeared by them, and that they’re all still endeared to her.

“Yes please, Dream. Thank you. I’ll make a small announcement on the server myself, but thanks.”

“No problem, Wilbur! We’re glad you’re happy.”

“What the green-bitch said, mate.” Phil responds, and Dream turns on his camera for that only, just to show that he isn’t actually wearing green- he’s wearing a blue T-shirt, blonde hair mussed about enough to show that he did not comb it when he woke up. His face still has some sleep leftovers, but he’s awake enough to pay attention, and he’s smiling at Wilbur, mouse clicking very fast to change her discord role, and it shows up a few seconds later with a purple dot. ‘ask for my pronouns’. Wilbur is smiling like an idiot, and she turns on her camera, Phil following suit as she starts laughing a little wetly and all of this sinks in.

Wilbur is gender-fluid. She loves herself, her family and the little pouch still strapped to her backpack. Phil is whispering things into the mic soothingly and Dream is grinning at her, and it just feels so good. The bad feeling in Wilbur’s skin just isn’t here today, and it feels like it won’t be around for a while yet.

With slightly blurry eyes trying to see through her glasses, Wilbur makes an announcement with the @everyone turned on.

Bitchbur (she/her today): @everyone I’m here to announce that I’m genderfluid! You can either ask me my pronouns or I’ll just change my nick. The name’s still Wilbur. That’s about it.

Replies start coming in, nothing but messages of support and thumbs-up emoticons, and Wilber closes her eyes, leaning back in her chair, laughing a bit more. She’s so happy that she managed to accept herself, and find acceptance in everyone else on this server. She probably won’t come out to the internet for a while, or even to some of her real-life friends but that’s okay.

She’s got everything she needs right here.

[pomegranates-and-blood]

🎵everything’s coming up ivar🎆🎇 what a morning of fortunate revelations for him! i know i must say this after like every chapter, but you have truly done such an exceptional job building up these characters and this relationship. there were so many neat little tie ins to other things i noticed in the story! and every other line, i was just struck by how well theyd come to know each other. i remember after the first time he broke a bone (and smth similar in ch36??), she thought something to the extent of “if i try to push him on this, ill just hurt him. if i don’t, then he’ll just accept this situation as immutable, so im at a loss.” but she absolutely could not miss in this chapter. after all this time together, she knew exactly what to say—and he finally felt like he could completely sincerely trust her! “Of course you wouldn’t leave, he knows you wouldn’t leave him” 😣🥺😭 he’s got a new certainty!! also cracked me up to read half the lines and think “you’re gonna give him a heart attack!!!” only to move to the ivar pov to find that he was in fact having a heart attack. i Love that for them💕 sub ivar is like inspired choice #17266 for this fic but damn!! does it go hard you do just an excellent job!

it’s been such a convincing and satisfying journey for them. theyre really doing it!! i feel like my child has learned to ride a bike. you have been cranking out bangers only since the hiatus so thank you very very much for another fantastic chapter!!!❤️(bit of a tangent but i briefly looked up some baseline historical symbolism for lavender bc i was so struck by freydis and the mint smell and i wanted to get ahead of the game and like the first meaning that comes up is silence lmao—somehow i don’t think that’s it so ill have to keep looking!)

OMFG ILY  ❤️

I’m so happy you liked the newest update! That morning was A Lot™ for Ivar lol, all positives but still, his mind tapped out halfway through Gǫfga and none of us can blame him, poor guy was a tad overwhelmed lol. And yeah, her not really knowing if she should push or not is a thing that happens a lot (that will happen a lot more in a certain AU lol) because there really is no way to navigate around that until there’s the established trust and vulnerability that they have by now.

I’m so glad the fact that he now holds on to the certainty of her promising to stay by his side was noticeable!

Omfg yeah, the inside of Ivar’s head anytime she started talking was probably just a loop of a very loud alarm going off lol

I’m so happy you like sub!Ivar, it is a blast to write him actually surrendering to his lover like that. I cannot see him any other way to be honest, especially with my priestess. She’s been thinking about making him hers for a long time: “Even after he has imprisoned you, it would be a lie if you said you didn’t wonder what it would take to have the Viking underneath you, or the different ways you could make his proud façade crumble."

Thank you so so much for your kind words, they mean so much!! I am so happy you have been liking this so far, and that you enjoyed the latest updates. Thank you so much, you wonderful person!

I answer your intrigue about Lavender under the cut by the way, if you’re interested. It is not as interesting as with Mint and Freydis I’m afraid, but if you were curious as to why Ivar lingers on it, and why specifically Lavender, under the cut is the (very rambly, but that’s expected of me by now lol) answer 😉

As for the lavender, I commend your resolve to get ahead of any plot twists, but surprisingly this isn’t one. Lavender is actually the scent she uses in her baths, and thus her skin smells slightly of lavender. In a deleted scene of one of Ivar’s PoV’s it goes into how he has started to relate this slight lavender scent with her so much that walking into their room already makes him feel like she’s there even if she isn’t; and in his newest PoV he just lingers on it because it’s just one more way she clouds his senses.

As for why lavender? Ah, that’s where my irrational need to research everything comes into play. Lavender is a flower that symbolizes Persephone first of all, and it was (according to some of the sources I handled) one of the flowers used in the temples in Ancient Greece, so for the Priestess it has a strong meaning regarding her faith (and her retracing Persephone’s myth in the Goddess’ role, but she doesn’t know that lol). Also, Lavender was fairly common, and it has a lot of medicinal uses, including relaxation and the such, but most importantly for this story, it is one of the many herbs used to heal burn wounds. Lavender was one of the flowers used on the Reader (and that once she was better she used on herself) after the Eleusis thing, and either consciously or not she uses it still, it is a source of comfort in a way.

Cause here’s a thing/headcanon of the Reader/Priestess that really means nothing but I always snuck into my work: she is a healer first and foremost (is the one thing across all AUs and all the places she has been that remains consistent, from the Roads to Greece to Kattegat and beyond, in Nostalgia, and Hope and Alatheia and all others), and her insistence on keeping plants close to her is mostly because she wants life to be around her in a land like Kattegat, yes, but it is also because she trusts/relies on the herbs and what she can do with them. Her own sword and shield, her own way of fighting, like Sieghild told her in the flashback of Ch 33.

At the beginning of her time in Kattegat, stretched to her marriage to Ivar even, she mostly just kept plants like Lavender, Poppy, Summer savory, Field scabious and the such, which are all used medicinally to treat burns and as antibiotics. She is more scarred by what the Byzantines did to her in ELeusis than she would like to admit, or that she ever would in her PoV, that’s why I like sneaking in comments by Ivar and Freydis in their PoVs about how she flinches when someone breathes too much life to a fire, or how when she feels unsafe (even when she is freezing her ass off, bc she is not used to Scandinavia’s cold) she sits far away from any fire. Keeping plants like this is her way of irrationaly wanting to keep herself safe if they ever do the same thing to her again, even if it is incredibly unlikely. Slowly, she starts to be able to let go of that, and really all that remains by now (~Ch 42) of those plants is the Lavender.

When she marries Ivar (and more importantly when she starts truly caring about him) she starts keeping plants like Comfrey, Chickweed, Buckeye, which are used for broken bones or for rheumatic/arthritic pain, or for pain general, like Willow or Elderberry. Freydis makes a point of it in “Until spring comes.”, of how she has been relentless on keeping both the common/accesible ones like Comfrey and Willow around, but has also secured plants from the East, like Ganglong (which was traditionally used for bone fractures). Again, the plants and her ability to heal is her own way of fighting, her own way of keeping the people she loves safe and protected, limited as it may be. Which, around Ch 31 she uses (in a different way) to try to keep the man she loves safe, which is by making the wreath of flowers and praying to her Gods.

And once she really starts settling into her life in Kattegat, even if she doesn’t realize it, she no longer keeps plants only for the use they may have, and brings things like that Marsh Violet (that as far as my limited reseach told me has no real medicinal uses). Her own way of making the world around her a little more hers is by putting plants around her and caring for them (she did this in the Roads a lot too), and with time the stubborn little shit accepts letting this world make her a little theirs too by caring for plants like that one.

You are on point that I use plants and symbols a lot, most of them you know about by know. Ivar/Hades and snakes, Melinöe/Freydis (especially once the revelations of Ch33-34 happen, which is when the Minthe parallel comes to an end and she embraces the role of Melinöe in the Priestess’ eyes now that the lies are discovered) and howling dogs, Hermes/Galla and hawks/falcons. I used Snowdrops a few times I think, towards the beginning, which was a little nod to Freyja’s myth and the Priestess’ threading the line of it, because I like the parallels between some of Freyja and Persephone/Hecate (which by some sources could sometimes be intertwined, or one and the same, much like Melinöe and Persephone).

Anyhow, sorry for the long-ass answer, I hope it doesn’t dissapoint. I really cannot put into words how happy it makes me that you’d care enough about this story to search the meaning of lavender, thank you so much for your support, and for the undeserved love you keep showering me and Nostalgia with! Thank you so much sweetheart!

Sending you my love!! ❤️

[saleintothe90s]

422. ”Carrie” (May 12 - May 15 1988)

I adore reading about flops. One of my favorite flops to read about is Carrie the musical. A doomed production from the start. Millions of dollars wasted. Bad costumes. Filler songs.

Similar to my Simpsons season 10 review, I wanna give something to the worst aspects of the show. With Simpsons, bad episodes were awarded Marge’s homemade Pepsi. For Carrie, I think I’m going to give the bad parts the “Vending Machine Maxi Pad” award. 

As most anybody who follows Broadway flops knows, clips from Carrie are scarce and are in poor condition on YouTube. Most of the actual clips are from when the show was in test productions in Stratford Upon Avon, but the music has been replaced with the Broadway soundboard.  So, keep that in mind. Most of the time you can’t even make out what’s going on. Here’s the closest copy of the entire show I could find on YouTube, from the Sratford Upon Avon production. 

I know people bash the musical, and sometimes it’s rightfully so, but two things are consistent: Linzi Hateley who played Carrie, and that orchestra that is on.point. Check out the overture.

(source)

The show begins with girls cheering in gym class in the beginning of an aerobics lesson?  The white gym shorts look like diapers. That’s the first of many costume mistakes. 

The song is a banger, I love Darlene Love playing the gym teacher, she’s my favorite part of the song. The only part that is cringey to me is when the girls sing “I go CrAzZyyyyy” and they get on the ground and dance like a toddler having a temper tantrum in a Toys R Us. Since the audio quality is so bad in these clips, I thought at one point the girls were singing about not being caught picking their nose, no, the lyric is:

Bought the clothes, did my nose,

Near the end of the song, the girls are on these rising rafters? It took me for-ever to realize that they were simulating a cheerleader pyramid, and that Carrie had snuck in near the end of the number to be on the bottom of the pyramid. Oh, and she causes it to fall and someone tells her to eat shit. 

“Dream On” is the song that the girls sing while in the showers. Why yes, it does look like they’re in the nude due to the poor quality of the video.  The song is ok, it gives total night driving home from the mall in the late 80s early 90s vibes.  Although one girl says the line, “Six foot three and he's in his forties!”. WHAT. 

Carrie breaks those vibes at around 3:44 by screaming that she’s bleeding. When Miss Gardener slaps Carrie, a cymbal plays. I love it.

I like to imagine that when the girls threw the tampons and pads at Carrie, some flew into the audience. 

“Carrie” is shrill at first, and then it turns into a bit of snoozefest. Linzi sings the name “Carrie” about 458 times. 

Betty Buckley who previously had played the original Grizabella in Cats. and who played the gym teacher in the original movie plays Carrie’s mom. Her song, “Open Your Heart” is pretty good. It’s a nice little break before mom goes bottoms up on Carrie for getting her period (”And Eve Was Weak” [Stratford version with Barbara Cook]):

Carrie: I was in the shower and...

Mom: You’re forbidden from showering with the other girls...

Carrie: I started to bleed!

While Carrie spends the rest of the night in a cellar, the popular girls are at the drive-in. Now, this musical cost over $7 million dollars 1, but yet this was the best set they could think of for a drive-in movie theater: 

It looks like something out of a high school play -- which I guess makes a little sense since they are high schoolers? I’m grabbing at straws here. It cost so much money to put Carrie on, what’s a few more dollars to have two real hollowed out cars on stage, one with Chris (in the red) & Billy (in black) in it, and the other with Sue (pink leggings) and Tommy (purple windbreaker)? 

“Don’t Waste the Moon” is the song sung at the drive-in, with Sue having regrets about throwing tampons at Carrie in the beginning of the song. The song is very 1980s, and it kind of doesn’t fit in the musical. Gene Anthony Ray’s (Billy) talent is wasted here. 

It’s time for some “Evening Prayers” for Carrie where she discusses with God her new telekinesis powers. Meanwhile Carrie’s mom is being a worrywort. During the Stratford production, Carrie’s mom is in a rocking chair over there looking like Whistler’s Mother. 

“You’re going to tell Carrie that you’re sorry!” belts out Miss Gardner. In the musical, Chris seems more obsessed with torturing Carrie than in the movie or book if that’s even possible. Sue is like, “What did she even do to you?”. Even Billy asked earlier, “Who the hell is Carrie White?”. 

Oooof. Seeing the gym teacher try to cheer Carrie up by singing a song about the prom (”Unsuspecting Hearts”) and how she could go too is patronizing. Even if its sung by Darlene Love. 

“Do Me a Favor” might be the most infamous song from the musical. It’s the song I see referred to the most when I read bad reviews. For some reason Chris is wearing a metallic red bodysuit and Sue is wearing a light pink bodysuit. Are they supposed to be that cliche devil and the angel on the shoulder thing? 

Chris looks like Evil Homer! 

I’m going be the unpopular opinion here and say that I love the song! The erratic dancing also fits with the song. 

Carrie tells her mom before “I Remember How Those Boys Would Dance” that Tommy is sweet and polite, but the audience doesn’t know that. Tommy is barely a character in this production. In the end, Carrie uses her powers to shut her mama up.

From what I gather in “Out for Blood” (audio) where Chris and Billy go looking for a pig to kill, the chorus dancers are the pigs? The video quality is so poor. Chris had another crazy ass red outfit on, some sort of shiny red skirt and a crop top. The costumes in this are just horrible. It was like the wardrobe budget was $50. 

This song is so.so.bad. It reminds me of whenever Rocko from Rocko’s Modern Life would see a movie trailer or a parody of something on TV for some reason?! Or the “gotta get that Reptar song” from Rugrats when the kids saw Reptar on ice. Especially when the chorus tells Billy to kill the pig: 

CHORUS Cha! Kill the pig, pig, pig! CHRIS Go! CHORUS Kill 'im, kill 'im, kill, kill! We'll make him bleed! CHRIS Go! CHORUS Get the blood, blood, blood Oooh, blood! CHRIS Oh, baby show... CHORUS Kill the pig, make 'im bleed Let's get the blood, that's all we need!

Sue’s song “It Hurts to be Strong” is a bit of a throw-away. It gets a vending machine maxi pad award. Moving on. It’s filler  

In “I’m Not Alone”, Carrie sings while using her powers to move things around in her room. What things? I don’t know the video quality was so bad. That’s another thing! The sets are nonexistent! I wouldn’t know we were in Carrie’s room unless the Playbill told me. It’s another forgettable song. Three in a row!

Betty Buckley saves the day in, “When There’s No One”, a sad song about facing life without Carrie being her subordinate. 

I don’t understand the prom dresses in “Wotta Night”, they’re all garish giant white numbers that make the actresses look about 20 pounds heaver.  The guys look like that Rio doll from Jem. The costume designer couldn’t just go to Alexanders or A&S and buy prom dresses? You know, why am I even asking at this point. We all saw what Chris has been wearing this whole time. There is a disco ball thrown aside in the corner instead of hanging up. More on that later.

The song sounds way too much like that song “Rock on” by David Essex.  Automatic Vending Machine Maxi Pad. 

Here’s a cute rehearsal clip I found of “Heaven”, the song sung while the Prom Queen and King ballots are being counted. Unfortunately, the audio is bad. Chris is there to remind us that she’s still out for blood.

Finally, finally it’s time for Carrie the prom queen to get drenched with blood -- but the thing is, due to microphone technology back then, Carrie really couldn’t have blood dumped on her. Chris and Billy just run up to her and half ass pour the bucket at her. Could the set designer not suspend the bucket from above the stage? Is that also why the disco ball is thrown in the corner? I don’t even think she has stage blood on her during “The Destruction”, (which is the best song from the musical).  I think a red spotlight over Carrie signifies the blood.

I think Linzi is really only truly covered in blood for press shots. 

Anyway, the Destruction, I love it when she screeches “DOESN’T ANYBODY EVER GET IT RIGHT??! DOESN’T ANYBODY THINK THAT I HEAR?!” It’s the best. I could listen to it all day and I almost did the other day. 

Due the poor video quality, I can’t really tell how the prom-goers are dying. They’re kinda just twitching there in the laser light or slamming themselves against the clear barrier that descended from the stage to signify Carrie closing the doors to the gym. 

After Carie kills everybody, this giant white staircase descends and covers up the gym. I read somewhere, I forgot where, that its supposed to be the school stairs? We’re led to believe that Carrie’s crazy mom ran to the school. The first time I saw it, I thought that it was Carrie and her mom getting ready to go to heaven. I thought maybe someone over at the set department took the classic song too literally. 

It appears that while the stairs are descending, Carrie smears stage blood on her. 

The reprise of “Carrie’ is so much better than the original. Carrie stops her mom’s heart cold mid song. Then she slins down the stairs and Sue catches her. In an interview on playbill.com, Betty Buckley says that on opening night (I don’t know if she meant the first preview, or the official opening night), there were boos from the audience at the end, but cheers for Linzi and herself. I believe it. Betty and Linzi were amazing. Darlene Love was amazing. The rough scenes are the scenes with the school kids. They’re awful, in the words of my boy Jay Sherman, “they’re awful I tell you. aw.ful.” 

(relevant prom .gif) 

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1. Rothstein, Mervyn. “After Seven Years And $7 Million, ‘Carrie’ Is a Kinetic Memory (Published 1988).” The New York Times, May 17, 1988, sec. Theater. https://www.nytimes.com/1988/05/17/theater/after-seven-years-and-7-million-carrie-is-a-kinetic-memory.html.

New York City Broadway reviews on the news in NYC for Carrie.  That first reviewer, Stuart Klein, I love him. I’ve watched several of his reviews on flops on YouTube. Joel Sigel who was the Good Morning America film reviewer is here too. 

Archive of Betty Buckley interview. 

[thehighestmountains]

evermore review and ranking:

overall, i found this album to have more skippable songs than folklore and the middle of my ranking definitely feels like the middle whereas in my folklore ranking, #14 was still a fav. folklore was a true anomaly where i was just adding the whole album to my playlist. evermore really feels like folklore’s little sister getting the hand-me-downs, who just doesnt know who she is or what shes doing with her life, what is the theme exactly. 

tis the damn season. i fell in love in the first five seconds. i love the moody mature guitar strums and drum beats amping up the entire song. the story of coming back to an old love in your hometown reminds me of the show ‘the normal people’. im a real sucker for sagas, timeless loves that pull you in time and time again, familiar feelings that just feel right because you experienced them at such a young age.  this song gets me.

There's an ache in you, put there by the ache in me But if it's all the same to you It's the same to me

So we could call it even You could call me "babe" for the weekend ​'Tis the damn season, write this down

Sleep in half the day just for old times' sake I won't ask you to wait if you don't ask me to stay So I'll go back to L.A. and the so-called friends

long story short. this is such a banger r u joking. i feel every single one of my blood cells pumping as soon as this song starts. i even love the post-chorus, a great break from the chorus and the verses. i could post the whole song as my favorite lines.

And you passed right by I was in the alley, surrounded on all sides The knife cuts both ways If the shoe fits, walk in it 'til your high heels breakAnd I fell from the pedestal Right down the rabbit hole Long story short, it was a bad time When I dropped my sword I threw it in the bushes and knocked on your door And we live in peace But if someone comes at us, this time, I'm ready

ivy. hard not to compare this to illicit affairs, but this is like an upbeat version. if i didnt even pay attention to the lyrics, i would think this is so fun and catchy, it sounds good. there is no anger, there is a joy. and i just like it.

Oh, goddamn My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand Taking mine, but it's been promised to another Oh, I can't Stop you putting roots in my dreamland My house of stone, your ivy grows And now I'm covered in you So yeah, it's a fire It's a goddamn blaze in the dark And you started it

willow. im really glad this was the leading single because this is a beautiful stringy piece with a great melody. when i was reading the lyrics before listening to the song, it sounded extremely cheesy with “thats my man”, “i come back stronger than a 90s trend”, but in the song, i love it. theres a lot of heart and oompf to this.

And if it was an open-shut case I never would've known from that look on your face Lost in your current like a priceless wine

The more that you say, the less I know Wherever you stray, I follow

coney island. i wonder why she picked coney island, a very summery location with the bright lines and merry go, when the whole album is supposed to be a winterscape. i barely understand what this song is about but i enjoy the sounds.

Did I close my fist around something delicate? Did I shatter you?

evermore. i love when justin vernon starts singing with that beautiful falsetto “cant not think of all the cost and the things that will be lost”.

Or the violence of the dog days I'm on waves, out being tossed

champagne problems. before i get into this, i like this song, im impressed with the bridge and the chorus, i enjoy the story. just a small thing: title phrase. i just dont vibe with it, the rest of the lyrics couldve been more connected with champagne, i dont believe champagne to be any alcoholic’s choice of drink. and one more nitpick, who likes that random piano mash at the end, anyone?

Your mom's ring in your pocket My picture in your wallet Your heart was glass, I dropped it

One for the money, two for the show I never was ready so I watch you go Sometimes you just don't know the answer 'Til someone's on their knees and asks you

tolerate it - this is a good mellow song, i can relate to the deep sadness of feeling ignored, every thing you do is just dropped. i feel this could grow on me, especially because at the end we really get that jolt of energy, i can leave, i can do it.

I wait by the door like I'm just a kid Use my best colors for your portrait

gold rush. this song is a little too sweet for me, specifically “i dont need a gold rush gold rush”. its just an upbeat and repetitive pop song. i also find this specific high school energy of really wanting someone but also despising their appeal to just not relate to the headspace im currently in.

no body no crime. whoooa that blast of country. it kind of feels weird in this album. i think the chorus is incredibly boring, “i think he did it but i just cant prove it” over and over.

No, no body, no crime But I ain't lettin' up until the day I die

closure. i cant get over the constant banging of industrial pots and pans throughout this whole song lol. i really went back and forth between do i like this, no i hate it, ok i could get used to it, no no it doesnt fit with the lyrics and how shes singing. i also dont care for “yes i got your letter, yes im doing better”.

we have a large pile of songs at the bottom, they all mush together in a sad corner. these could maybe grow on me but i also would be fine never listening to them again. with folklore’s sad songs, like epiphany or my tears ricochet, there was still something that appealed to me. most of these, there just isnt anything.

happiness - similar to tolerate it, i think the lyrics carry and convey a specific feeling very well, i have definitely felt this way, but i dont feel like the instrumentals match her emotional singing. i think she really carries this song and the instruments just let me down.

No one teaches you what to do  When a good man hurts you And you know you hurt him too

marjorie - i feel like a song about her grandmother could have been so great instead we get “what died didnt stay dead” over and over and a bridge that is mostly about herself. “shouldve kept every grocery store receipt cause every scrap of you would be taken from me” is the worst of the lines, thats what you want to keep? grocery receipts? the song should be about her grandmother leaving all her “backlogged dreams” to her, and im not getting much of that.

cowboy like me - takes one... to... know... one...... this song does not embody  the type of cowboy shes talking about, perhaps a 80 year old woman singing about her tendencies to run away. im not convinced taylor is singing from a place she understands enough about. my least favorite line in the album goes to “the tennis court was covered up with some tent-like thing”. tent like thing? lol ok. although i will say one of my favorite lines is “forever is the sweetest con”, but that gem cannot save this song.

dorothea - this is the worst version of seven from folklore. its about ten times less interesting, very bare bones, hardly any story or background information. i dont particularly like the name dorothea. giving me major grandma vibes, these last three songs are major grandma vibes. 

[thesportssoundoff]

Lists ‘N Stuff: 00s Heavyweights

Lists ‘N Stuff: 00s Heavyweights

I’ve been watching a lot of boxing. A lot. Too much even. Originally it started out of my desire to catch up on fights I had missed after I dipped out on boxing in the late 90s before getting back into the sport around 2007 or so. It eventually delved into a deep dive on what basically amounts to the last 20-30 years in combat sports. Given my love of things like lists, I figured I’d do one. Doing a list for the HWs in the 90s was genuinely a lot of fun because it meant re-watching a bevy of classic fights with classic characters. Doing one for 2000 to 2009? Well....Well ya know. Inarguably  the worst division in all of boxing for its entire run of the 2000s, this was not easy BUT by the grace of God and plenty of rumchata, I survived. Here we go! 

Honorable Mention:

John Ruiz- I was not going to put John Ruiz on this list. Even as a Puerto Rican, I couldn't go that far. Ruiz's trilogy with Evander Holyfield are among some of the worst fights ever and he was styled on by natural light heavyweight Roy Jones Jr where the only competitive fight that night was Norman Stone fighting with whoever was refereeing. He did beat Andrew Golota (and I think that was a fair call), he lost to James Toney, lost to Ruslan Chagaev and honestly probably got jobbed vs Nikolai Valuev. Ruiz deserves a lot of credit for doing the best with what he had but consider that he fought in TEN straight title fights by the big four and only finished one of them and went 5-4-1 with a ton of split decisions in there and tell me he deserves a spot on this list.

Evander Holyfield- The 2000s were arguably most sad in the HW division because Evander Holyfield was still fighting for titles well into his 40s. Holyfield went 6-6-1 in the 2000s with a trilogy with John Ruiz, wins over dudes like Fres Oquendo and Vinny Madalone and losses to James Toney, Nikolai Valuev (in a fight I thought he won), Larry Donald, Chris Byrd and Sultan Ibragimov. Holyfield was just sort of there in the 2000s with nobody ever really letting him go away because he was one of the divisions few remaining stars. It's not pretty.  

Jameel McCline- It kind of gets lost because of how bleh he was but McCline was a pretty solid HW during the 2000s. He was pretty much the epitome of a big dude journeyman tough guy spoiler. He gave tough guys to Sam Peter, Chris Byrd, Calvin Brock and John Ruiz when he was a bit more focused of a fighter plus has wins over Shannon Briggs and Michael Grant. If two fights had gone his way (the Peter fight could've been stopped on Earth 2 and I thought he beat Byrd) then maybe McCline sneaks on this list.

Nikolai Valuev- Some guys are too big to fail but Nikolai Valuev was too big to succeed.  His natural size limited how good he could be and unfortunately for Valuev, he was a boxing gimmick from start to finish. Valuev struggled endlessly whenever he got a step up in competition and seemed to always wind up on the right end of a close decision. Boxing's funny like that. The Valuev end came against Ruslan Chagaev but he managed to win another title and eventually fight David Haye in the crowning ceremony of the Hayemaker as a HW.

Oleg Maskaev- Fullest credit to Maskaev who started out the 2000s with a 2-3 record and went on a killer run to eventually find himself set up with a fight vs Hasim Rahman. Losing throughout the entire fight, Maskaev ralled in the 12th round and stopped Rahman to become a champ 10 years after the start of his career.

1- Wladimir Klitschko Record in the 00s (Jan 1st 2000 to December 31st 2009)- 22-2 Record in title fights- 17-2 Record against other fighters on the list- 6-1

"Wladimir Klitschko looks so good, you wonder what's wrong with him." That's the line Larry Merchant uttered prior to Klitschko's fight vs Corrie Sanders. It was the same fight where Merchant pretty much washed his hands of Klitschko after Corrie Sanders wiped the floor with him and exposed Wlad's questionable chin and recovery chops. Turned out all Wlad needed was Emmanuel Steward to basically rebuild him from the ground up, focus on protecting his chin and using one of the HW division's best jabs ever to keep scared opponents at bay and set up a perfect right hand. Wladimir Klitschko is unfortunately a victim of the times and of a style that led to a lot of stinky fights with barely satisfying conclusions. It's unfortunate because I truly believe regardless of era, Wladimir Klitschko has the skills to be top 10 quality in any time period. The Steward led Klitschko was just a perfect boxing machine and very few guys had the chops to sort of get through that. In the 2000s, Wlad beat and fought everyone and the only guy on this list to beat him was Brewster in a fight where Lamon just basically refused to go away. Wladimir has over Ibragimov, Chagaev, Peter, Byrd twice and Brewster in a rematch. I don't think he would've beaten Lennox Lewis but he would've probably wiped the floor with anybody else on this list and that includes Vitali if only because Vitali was in various stages of broken for most of the early 2000s and once they reached the end of the decade, Wlad's athleticism was so much far beyond anybody else in this division. You don't have to like it (and I don't blame you if ya don't!) but Wlad's one of the greatest HWs ever and the best of the 2000s.

2- Vitali Klitschko Record in the 00s (Jan 1st 2000 to December 31st 2009)- 12-2 Record in title fights- 6-2 Record against other fighters on the list- 1-2

I'm totally fine if you have Lennox Lewis OVER Vitali Klitschko in your top 10 rankings. It's a justifiable and fair enough argument to be clear. I'm putting Vitali over Lennox because even with a little under four year long break, Vitali fought more and in a way Vitali fought the best of both worlds. He fought the dying days of the late 90s HW explosion and then came back and fought at the end of the Klitschko legacy era. Vitali's wins are actually not that impressive in theory as Sam Peter is not as highly regarded as I would have him and his second best win after that is either crude South African banger Corrie Sanders or then undefeated HW Chris Arreola. Guys like Danny Williams, Vaughan Bean, Ross Purrity, Orlin Norris and Larry Donald are good wins to have but any credible top 10 HW for his era should handle those guys well. Vitali Klitschko's resume might've looked even better had he stuck around for those three years and either gotten his Lewis rematch (which I truly believe he would've lost) or just beaten up on the John Ruiz, James Toney, Hasim Rahman and Andrew Golota's of the world. He's my #2 HW of the 00s.

3- Lennox Lewis Record in the 00s (Jan 1st 2000 to December 31st 2009)- 6-1 Record in title fights- 6-1 Record against other fighters on the list- 2-1

The ONLY reason Lennox Lewis is SO low on this list is because he wasn't around for much of it. Lewis retired in 2003 after a controversial fight against Vitali Klitschko and....I honestly think the Klitschko fight is really overblown to the legacy of Lennox Lewis. It's often hyped up as Lewis retiring after a really tough fight because he knew he couldn't beat Vitali or what have you but in truth, Lewis was well on his way to stopping Vitali anyways before the cuts. Furthermore Lewis was fat and happy and had pretty much retired before the fight even began anyways. The only thing that stopped Lennox from pretty much wiping out the rest of the HW division for much of the 2000s was that Lewis made his money and didn't want to have some B-Hop esque run where he beat up on limited competition well into his 40s. Lewis' 2000s run features Frans Botha, the corpse of Mike Tyson, Vitali and David Tua. An argument can be made that if Lewis doesn't get smelted by Rahman (a win he'd eventually get back), he could be arguably one of the top 3 heavyweights ever.

4- Chris Byrd Record in the 00s (Jan 1st 2000 to December 31st 2009)- 11-4-1 Record in title fights- 5-2-1 Record against other fighters on the list- 1-2

The general argument I have (or feel I have) is that once you get outside the top 3 HWs, you're sort of open to interpret the top of the HW division however you so wish. Chris Byrd is my #4 HW if only because of his ability to stick around as a slickster boxer who managed to win fights at HW despite having absolutely zero pop in his hands. Hell if anything Bird should be this high just because of how lucky he was (theoretically) throughout his career. He survived close calls against Andrew Golota and Jameel McCline, he managed to not suffer a knockdown at any point in a 12 round fight against eternally hard puncher David Tua, he was getting wiped out on the cards vs Vitali Klitschko and then won the belt because Vitali tore his shoulder. Sometimes it's better to be lucky than good although Chris Byrd was arguably both of those at the same time. Chris Byrd ended the 90s getting smelted by Ike Ibeabuchi and then once the decade turns to the double zeros, Byrd went 8-1-1 with wins over Vitali Klitschko, Evander Holyfield, Jameel McCline, Fres Oquendo and DaVaryll Williamson. His losses in the 2000s were to Wladimir Klitschko twice, Alexander Povetkin and Shaun George at the very end of Byrd's run. He's my #4 HW.

5- Sam Peter Record in the 00s (Jan 1st 2000 to December 31st 2009)- 33-3 Record in title fights- 5-2 Record against other fighters on the list- 2-2

Sam Peter is actually a pretty damn cool success story. While he became a meme on boxing sites, Peter went from being a poor kid growing up in Nigeria to a HW champ of the world despite his many limitations. Maybe Peter was just a beneficiary of a vacantly empty heavyweight division but that's also unfair to him given the work he put in to even get to that point. Peter fought both Klitschko brothers, James Toney twice, the underrated Jameel McCline and veteran HW Oleg Maskaev and racked up a 4-2 record throughout that time. Peter wasn't the most talented dude but he was tough, gritty and hit really damn hard.  Two of his losses during this era were to the Klitschkos so that accounts for something. WHONEX indeed.

6- Lamon Brewster Record in the 00s (Jan 1st 2000 to December 31st 2009)- 13-4 Record in title fights- 4-2 Record against other fighters on the list- 1-1

Maybe it's not a great sign for the HW division that Lamon Brewster is up this high. Actually I think it's fair to wonder how good Lamon Brewster could've been had he not suffered a torn retinae against Sergei Liakhovich in one of his last real "big" fights. Brewster wasn't the most naturally gifted boxer but he hit really hard, had enough cardio to go hard in fights and was the sort of dude who could get anybody out early. Until Tyson Fury's masterclass, the last guy to beat Wladimir Klitschko was Lamon Brewster in a rock 'em sock 'em sort of fight where he was getting beat up early and then rallied to drop Wladimir en route to a stoppage victory. Brewster hurt his eye really badly against Sergei Liakhovich and was never the same afterwards, basically ending his relevancy before he had even hit his mid 30s. The Liakhovich fight by the way is one of the gnarlier HW fights you'll see and sort of gets lost in the shuffle given how dismal the division was during this time period.

7- James Toney Record in the 00s (Jan 1st 2000 to December 31st 2009)- 13-2-1 Record in title fights- 1-0-1 (1) Record against other fighters on the list- 0-2-1 (1)

Let's be fair now. James Toney doesn't belong on this list because he probably should've never been a heavyweight. It's never a good sign when Jim Lampley refers to you as a "Fat tub of goo" before your first title fight in the weight class but alas. Toney started the 2000s off beating Visiliy Jirov in one of the greatest fights ever and then jumped all the way up to HW to face Don King's batch of merry men at the top. As such Toney fought Holyfield (and beat him decisively), Rahman twice (and I thought he lost one and would've won the other if not for a headbutt) and John Ruiz in a fight he won decisively but popped for steroids of all things. Toney's resume has a lot of fluff in it at heavyweight (HAR HAR) but the fact he was still able to be competitive despite probably being at most a cruiserweight is pretty awesome. Toney vs Sam Peter I is also one of the best fights of the 2000s if you want to see an underrated HW banger.

8- Ruslan Chagaev Record in the 00s (Jan 1st 2000 to December 31st 2009)- 23-1-1 Record in title fights- 3-1 Record against other fighters on the list- 0-1

So funny story but Ruslan Chagaev was a big reason why I got back into the HW division. Watching him mid afternoon on Fox Sports upset generally bad Nikolai Valuev made me want to watch the heavyweights again, primarily because it meant in theory that I didn't have to read about how Valuev had stolen yet another fight in Germany. Chagaev's career is pretty much married with injuries and stop starts as torn ACLs, hepatitis (!) and other medical ailments led to him fighting on again off again later into the 2000s. Chagaev wasn't the most skilled HW out there but it's fair to wonder how much better (or worse) his resume would've been had he stayed healthy enough to fight guys like Lamon Brewster, Sultan Ibrabimov and Wladimir Klitschko far earlier in his run. I thought he cleanly beat guys like Valuev and Vladimir Virchys but I also thought Chagaev lost to John Ruiz for whatever it's worth.

9- Hasim Rahman Record in the 00s (Jan 1st 2000 to December 31st 2009)- 13-5-2 Record in title fights- 2-4-1 Record against other fighters on the list- 1-3

I don't have a great way to say this but basically it was never a good thing in the 2000s when you the likes of Hasim Rahman, John Ruiz, James Toney and Andrew Golota in a title fight. It usually meant you were about to be robbed of your time or your money with either a shitty fight or a quick stoppage. Hasim Rahman dominated the early 2000s in terms of title fights and title opportunities and our reward for that was a lot of weird bad fights and "What the fuck?" isms. So how did Rahman make the list? Partially because "The Rock" fought everybody and anybody and did well enough in almost all of those fights. To his credit, Rahman's record also has some victimhood in it. I thought he beat David Tua (and was robbed of a knockdown) when the judges gave him a draw and I thought likewise against James Toney (I had it 7-5 Rahman) but he once again got a draw. Who knows if he would've beaten Evander Holyfield if Holyfield didn't basically headbutt him to death in their fight. He beat respected dudes like Kali Meehan, Corrie Sanders and Monte Barrett during this time period. The biggest reason he's on this list? The KO win over Lennox Lewis. Even if Lewis eventually rectified that, it happened and Rahman's one of two guys to finish Lennox Lewis. That helps push him up on the top 10 list.

10- Sultan Ibragimov Record in the 00s (Jan 1st 2000 to December 31st 2009)- 22-1-1 Record in title fights- 2-1 Record against other fighters on the list- 0-1

If this was strictly about skills, Sultan Ibragimov would be ranked so much higher. Ibragimov was genuinely great and adapted his style from a stay busy all activity fighter to a more defensive oriented counter striker with quick hands. He, like most heavyweights of this era, just lacked the power to put folks away and lacked any semblance of urgency. Ibragimov rose up the ranks quickly and wins over 90s names like Shannon Briggs and Evander Holyfield put him on this list. The reason Ibragimov isn't ranked higher? That god damn Klitschko fight. Arguably the worst heavyweight fight ever, Ibragimov basically threw jabs for the first six rounds and then nothing beyond that. It pretty much killed Wlad as an attraction in the United States and dude didn't return to the Garden for seven years.

[bekahdoesnerdshit]

Playlist: Charlotte Olivia Grace

Alternate Title: Dealing with Religious Trauma But Like in a Cute, Fun Way

Featuring: A director’s cut style breakdown of each song choice, and a bonus Campaign Song not found on the original playlist!

Not Gonna Take Me by BAILEN

You took my mother You took my father Oh, but you're not gonna take me!

This is SUCH a fun song and I feel like it sets the tone for the playlist so well! And, truth be told, it was the first song that I knew was going to make the final cut. The energy of the song is so lively and fun, and the chorus -especially the bit I quoted above!- is really just a Cog slam dunk. The toxic, insular culture that her parents had gotten wrapped up in is not going to take her too, and Cog is going to run as far and as fast as she can to make sure it never catches up with her. 

Only the Good Die Young by Billy Joel

Well your mother told you all that I could give you was a reputation Aw she never cared for me But did she ever say a prayer for me?

HEY this is the Ace and Cog song. Thanks for the banger, Billy Joel. Like bro the whole song is about this guy rolling up and talking about whisking this girl who’s grown up wrapped up in religion away from it to a life that -not to brag- kicks serious ass. There’s more for you out in the world! It’s not a scary place, it’s exciting and full of life and people who are going to love you! Come on! Every time I listen to this song on Cog’s playlist, I picture Ace singing and doing a dumb little dance and voices along with it just to make Cog laugh because they’re SO cute. Also, coincidentally, Cog’s mom fucking Hated Ace. Presumably because he “stole and defiled” (her words!) her daughter. You hate to see it 😔 Also, every time I hear the line “I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints” I picture Cog sitting around a fire with Ace and her party members absolutely breathless from laughing which is an incredibly healing mental image that I highly recommend. 

Haven by We Banjo 3

Let me be your haven Let me be your light Sail with me across the ocean deep And find a place for love and joy

One of my dnd characters? Wanting to be a source of light and peace for the people around them, wanting to come up alongside them and bear their burdens with them? It’s SO likely, and it’s true. I think in my head this was originally another Cog and Ace song, where she wanted to repay all the ways he’d helped her by reaching out and trying to offer him a sense of peace in the midsts of everything he has to deal with, but the longer she’s spent with her party the more I think it’s come to apply to them as well. Yes, sometimes you have to fight. Sometimes, you have to make hard, painful decisions. But there’s light and love and joy to be found in the world! And if you can’t find them, it’s worth it to be the source of those things for the people around you! I think Cog would love nothing more than to take all of her friends troubles away from them to just give them a chance to breathe, and this song speaks to that so genuinely.

Hover by Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

The roof peels away And she's left uncovered Then feet leave the ground And she hovers, she hovers, hovers, hovers...

A song about discovering our self-worth, perhaps? About realizing you’re more powerful than the people around you want you to think you are, and then taking a deep breath and deciding to use that power for yourself? That’s self care, baby! This is very much the “I’m looking around, I’m realizing Home isn’t home for me anymore because it isn’t safe, and I’m starting to think that maybe it’s time for me to go” song. You know, that hyper-specific song that every playlist has. Also, it’s just such a pretty song! And right in my range, which doesn’t hurt its odds of making it onto a playlist. 

Cloud’s Song by Brent Walsh

Hey, God, are You listening? Sometimes it feels like I'm not hearing anything back Why does that scare me so much? Hey, God, are You listening?

Y’all ever uh. Y’all ever grow up deeply rooted in your family’s church of choice, only to have a crisis of faith later in life when you’re old enough to think for yourself because you don’t feel the connection to your god that everyone is telling you that you should? No? Just me and Cog? Okay! Cog doesn’t believe in the Old Gods. Mystra is dead, same as all the other gods, killed by whatever force caused the apocalypse and turned the Wasteland into what it is today. Anyone who says otherwise is looking for a way to manipulate people. ...but it’s one thing to say that and convince yourself that it’s true, and another entirely to unravel 18+ years of being told otherwise and come to terms with what a world truly without gods means for you and the people around you. And what if the gods are real, what if Mystra is alive, and she just didn’t care for Cog? If Cog is just fine not hearing from her either way, what should it matter if she’s real or not? Except it does matter, somehow, and Cog doesn’t know what to do with that. Oof.

The Gardener by Sarah Sparks

God the gardener when the autumn comes I will not seasons fear With the pruning a branch is stronger, I will learn to love the shears

This song is about coming out on the far side of a situation she never should have had to be in, but realizing that she’s stronger because of it. Is it still unfair that she had to grow up in such an unhealthy environment, burdened by expectations she was never going to be able to live up to? No, of course not. There’s no outcome that makes it worth it for her to have suffered through that. But because she survived it, she is infinitely more compassionate, more patient, and more intentional than she likely would have been otherwise. It’s not easy to come to terms with trauma like that, and I definitely don’t think Cog is as close to finding closure as she would like people to think she is. But she’s getting there, and I think this sort of perspective has done a lot to help her on that path.

Shake it Out by Doll Skin

'Cause I am done with my graceless heart So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart 'Cause I like to keep my issues strong It's always darkest before the dawn

So technically this is a cover, but honestly I love the energy on it so much more than the original. It’s about moving on from a past that’s clinging onto you and weighing you down by shaking off that guilt and turning to face a new day. Also, it’s just a fucking banger. It’s unapologetic about shrugging off weight you’re not obligated to carry, and while I don’t think Cog is quite to that point in her journey yet, I hope that by the end of the campaign she will be. Right now she still has a lot of guilt for the way she left her home, even though she knew she needed to go for her own good, but this song is for a Cog who -a few years down the line- has made peace with her decisions and understands that she deserves the same kindness from herself that she gives to everyone else.

Echo by Talisk

This song is an instrumental, but it goes So hard and is so representative of the arc I see for Cog in this game that it honestly makes me emotional every time I hear it. The beginning is quiet and a little slower, then about 30 seconds in the violin comes in and starts ramping things up as Cog begins to look around and realize the life she has been living isn’t the one she wants to continue. At around 1:30 the melody gets more complex and other instruments layer in as she sets out into the world and starts meeting the people she now considers her closest friends, and it continues to build and build and build with this anxious but excited energy of fingers flying across strings, barely keeping up with themselves with how eager they are to get the music to the world. The final variation on the melody from about 4:19 to the end of the song makes me picture Cog just spinning, arms wide, eyes closed with the sun on her face and the world’s biggest smile, and it just fills my heart with so much joy! 

Gold by Rabbit Wilde

All my friends are calling me Wild, like the wind I'm drifting from all I've known And packing up and trying all my best At staying gold

This song is so cute and fun, and high energy in the Exact way I was looking to cultivate for this playlist. This song is about the way Cog has grown and become more self-assured since leaving home and joining her party! Going from being tired and silenced, to having a fire burning from within her! She’s making new friends, she’s wandering and exploring the world, and she’s taking control of her life in a way that’s left her overall a happier and healthier person. And again, at risk of sounding repetitive, it’s just a bop. And bops always make it onto this playlist! 

Hieroglyphics by The Oh Hellos

'Cause you've been too busy thinking ahead Of where we're all going after we're dead To maybe consider our bodies are worth More than the dust that we can return

I am literally Obsessed with this song as a Cog song (and also, as a result of my playlist building, with The Oh Hellos in general). The whole energy of the song is looking at people who view religion as this old, tradition heavy thing its followers are obligated to bear forward and just asking... why? The lyrics I highlighted above are the ones that really sold this song as a Cog song for me, but there’s another line in the second verse with absolutely beautiful imagery about nebulas being beautiful, sacred bodies of dust that goes on to pose the questions; why can’t the same be said for humanity? Is being human completely divorced from being divine? Is there not inherent divinity in being a living, breathing creature with independent thought? For Cog, this is what faith should be. It should be about reveling in being alive and in the beauty of the world you get to live in. If there are gods, she can’t imagine them wanting anything different for the beings they created.

Bonus Track!  Tough Kids by Coyote Kid

I don't trust anyone more than I trust me and mine It's a dog eat dog world, but this pack runs till the end of the line

Campaign Song! Party song!! It’s just a banger!! If this campaign had a theme song, this would be it! I can fully picture the animated opening that would play before the start of the game, and it SLAPS. The first thirty seconds is this western style instrumental with the camera racing across the barren wasteland, with the first swell of the trumpet triggering the camera to pan up toward the sun setting on the horizon as the title card fades in. From there the camera takes off again and loops to each party member spread out across the Wasteland before they’re brought together. It swoops over the caravan Sunny and Wol are escorting, and they shield their eyes against the sun to look up at it as it passes. We see Nilos silhouetted against the outline of Scorch, steeling himself to enter the Bandit town with little more than the ratty suit on his back and the gun hefted over his shoulder. We see Maelo wandering out of his ramshackle house with his pack full and on his back, sparing one sad look at a swath of hazy green trees in the distance behind him before putting his back to it and setting out for the Crossroads. We see Cog! Bored to tears in a New Alexandrian classroom until she catches a glimpse of Ace beckoning to her from the doorway, and she grins and waits until her professor’s back is turned before grabbing her books and darting out of the room. We see Adiane in a dark alley somewhere, minding her business until she hears something that piques her interest! She looks up, rolls her shoulders, and we catch the flash of a dagger in one hand before she disappears into the night. And finally we see Clay, sitting against the back wall of what’s clearly a prison cell with his head resting on his knees, and we hear the rattle of a metal door being opened and Clay looks up as light from outside his cell falls on his face for the first time in god knows how long.  And then the chorus! We cut between various notable fights the party has been in to showcase their thematic skills! Sunny gives a mocking salute before hauling back to punch some bad guy in the face! Wol ducks an attack completely accidentally as he flips frantically through an enormous book, and when he looks up to cast his spell his eyes are a void dotted with silver stars. Nilos blasts some poor bastard point blank with a shotgun shot, then whirls around to slam the butt of the gun against someone else’s head! Cog’s casting gloves glow white hot as she flings a hand toward the sky to call for aid, and her robes whip around her as she sends a shockwave of magic out with herself at the epicenter! Maelo looks up, pulls a very obvious ‘oh shit!’ face, then taps the end of his staff against the ground and causes impossibly dense vegetation to grow instantaneously and send the people charging toward him toppling to the ground. Adiane whirls out from behind him as he finishes casting, tucks and rolls into a crouched shooting stance, then fires off three precise shots that drop three different targets. And Clay catches an attack on his shield, laughs and shouts something we can’t hear over the swell of the music, then summons his pact weapon mid-swing to catch his attacker unawares and send them toppling to the ground. And the second verse? OH boy. The cadence of the line “it’s a dog eat dog world” lends itself so naturally to having the antagonist of each arc surge up onto the screen one after the other, with a grinning Valentine bringing up the rear with his arms spread wide. And then! The bridge? We cut between the party’s npc friends living their lives and kicking ass. Ace and Sunny’s dads! Nathan and Sierra! King Alistair! Wol’s family! Penny and I’den! Also!! Not only can you physically not lose your shit listening to the repeated “we’re gonna make it or die trying” it’s also PRIME real estate for a flash montage of important moments of the campaign. Bombing the first bunker with a Meteor Storm scroll! Sunny putting her fist through the shadow demon in Lafaroh! Cog tackling Nilos to Dimension Door them into open air eight hundred feet off the ground! Watching the Bandits shoot down the Emperion airship over the Crossroads! Staring down the elf queen in her own courtroom and telling her she’s wrong! Finding the Godkiller! Sauntering into Scorch to clean up in the Murderbowl! God we do so much cool shit in this game!!  The final rendition of the chorus just shows the party working together as a team, having each other’s backs and covering weak spots without a second thought because they know how to work well together. The song fades out on an overhead shot of the party sprawled out around their campsite at the end of a long, exhausting day, eating and talking and laughing and just generally, blatantly, comfortable with one another. The camera swings up one final time to show the beautiful night sky overhead, with swaths of stars that wink out slowly one by one as the song comes to an end.