#sometimes used as an excuse for evil

[convoloutedinjoke]

"is ADHD real or have we made another category to encompass freaks and sick people who don't fit neatly into any personality disorder diagnoses and make too much eye contact for autism?" longest thread on the DSM fandom boards, closed down after 1817168179 comments when one user got doxxed for calling another the r word. (answers yes btw)

[quiet-admirer]

...

[reminiscentrainclouds]

You guys ever feel trapped? Yea I'm well-acquainted with the feeling of being trapped.

[evilmagician430]

(open image and zoom in to view better)

top ten DIABOLICAL women of science and medicine. number 1: the mad(die) scientist A.K.A. ""Dr. Friend""*

*she isnt a real doctor, not yet atleast

maddiefriend will become real in 5 seconds

[leebrontide]

Every single time I see a take that amounts to "if you write about X happening, or like fiction where X happens, you like X" I'm reminded of this one time I was at a casual friends house as a young kid. We were in her room, pretending to "be orphans" escaping from an evil orphanage and having to take care of each other and fend for ourselves. It was all very Little Orphan Annie/All Dogs Go to Heaven and based on the 80s pop media.

And this girl's mom comes in, hears what we're playing and gets all MAD and UPSET. She says that if we play act something, it's because we want it to happen. So her daughter must WANT HER TO DIE.

First off lady, we were 6 year year olds, so take it down several notches. We barely had a concept of mortality for fucks sake. She made us feel so guilty and ashamed, because she was taking our game personally.

Now I have a 5 year old. And sometimes she looks at me and says "pretend you're dead, and I have to -" Whatever it is. Some adult task she's assigned herself.

And it's just so transparently obvious that she's practicing the idea of having to do things on her own. Which is exactly what 5 year olds are supposed to do. I actually find it very flattering that the only way she can envision me not being available to help her is to be literally deceased. Otherwise, obviously, she wouldn't have to do scary hard things alone.

It's a natural coping mechanism. She's self-soothing about what would happen if I wasn't there by play-acting independence in a perfectly safe environment. She's also practicing skills she needs, and making up excuses for practicing them on her own, without taking on the responsibility of being able to do them by herself all the time yet.

Humans mentally rehearse bad this in their brains all the time. We can do that by ruminating- going over worries over and over again, which tends to lead to anxiety and helplessness and depression. Or we can do it with a sense of play- by recognizing that the fiction is fiction and we can dip our toe into these experiences and expose ourselves to bad things without actually being injured.

My daughter does not want me dead. And I don't want bad things to happen in real life. But fiction and pretend help me face the horrors of the world and think about them without collapsing or messing myself up mentally.

[max1461]

A moral lesson I wish literally everybody would learn is this: the very same actions that keep you safe when you are powerless can be abusive when you hold power over someone. The difference between resisting subjugation and subjugating others is often more a matter of context than anything else. And when context changes, it can be hard to relearn one's behavior—it requires an active effort. Probably all of us have hurt others needlessly, in some way or another, by doing things out of a reactive instinct for self-preservation. Probably all of us have been hurt by others, sometimes very deeply, when they were acting out of the same instinct.

I don't like speaking about ethics in the language of blame, but insofar as blame is a coherent notion to begin with, I'll say this: neither is anyone evil for the failure to fully rework themselves and free themselves of bad habit after struggle, nor does the difficulty of reworking oneself excuse the abuse of others. Nor, though we may wish otherwise, is it always epistemically possible to our own actions with confidence in one camp or the other. We can only do our best to treat others well and at the same time ourselves, though it is often not clear how.

[suiana]

girl. imagine yandere! otome isekai reverse harem and isekai'd reader. except isekai'd reader is chronically online and has no sense of shame.

basically reader isekai'd into the evil villain/villainess's body and was in the middle of getting shit talked by some nobles for something the og villain/villainess did in the novel.

"they're such scum... why are they even-"

"erm, what the sigma? I'll have you know I'm super awesome sauce and can rizz up livvy dunne."

the people are all flabbergasted. what were you talking about? did you finally go mad as well?

"p-pardon?"

"stupid locals. none of you get me like freakbob does."

"???"

and obviously, like every other otome isekai, your new behavior gets the attention of the male leads. they've caught wind that you've changed and they had to see it for themselves. what?? the crazy villain/villainess is no longer plotting?!

...

wrong, you're still plotting. just not plotting evil acts for their attention anymore.

"i wonder if i learn how to control the pigeons could i make them shit on people's heads?"

"excuse me?"

but of course they're enchanted by your... eccentric behavior. so what? they're literally the stereotypical male leads. the cold duke of the north with black hair and red eyes, the powerful mage of the high tower, the crazy mad dog crown prince, and the knight no one really cares for.

you know what actually would be crazy though? if they didn't act like the stereotypical male leads. yeah, that's right. the cold duke isn't actually cold and is a huge puppydog. the powerful mage isn't all knowledgeable and only knows how to use one spell that's super overpowered. the knight is loved by everyone. the crown prince is still crazy though.

anyway not important. you go through the same events as the og villain/villainess with them but because you're acting so different. they develop vastly different opinions of you. oh. maybe you're just a silly guy and not the crazy villain/villainess they thought you were. cool.

however one thing they have in common is the fact that they are all madly in love with you. yeah. that's right. they all fell for you. sure, you say weird things sometimes and clearly don't care about the plot but-

"my dear, shall we visit the garden? it will be a change of scenery from the library-"

"what? are you saying I'm not smart enough? I'll have you know that i graduated top of my class of mogger academy in ohio and became the top sigma wolf."

"i-"

"you're giving such beta energy right now😒"

yeah, they can't understand you. at all. but that's okay! you're still so cute and they just absolutely love you! ever since you stopped being the weird evil villain/villainess you actually became likeable! wow! maybe the genre of this novel will shift to a cheesy romance novel?

there's only one problem!

you don't really love them back!

"darling do you want to marry me?"

"you ask me that one more time and I'm cutting your dick off."

ugh... this is so hard...

oh! maybe they'll band together to keep you with them! it's 4 people against one. how will you ever win? they'll definitely get you this time and you won't be able to escape. and they'll finally get the love that they so desperately crave from you.

[gaywineauntsstuff]

I love the idea of Dick being all the Batkid's favourite sibling but in violently different fonts.

Jason: Dick and Jay canonically have a pretty solid relationship but i'm partial to the Jason was around for Dick's rebellion stage and so Dick doesn't think he has to worry about the pedestal thing bc Jason has absolutely seen him violently hungover before he was legally allowed to drink font of this

So by the time Jason comes back and is no longer trying to murder Tim (except psychologically) Dick decides... Well he's evil sometimes but also I can finally tell someone all the Titans drama. So him and Jason meet up like once month if they're in the same city and get progressively drunker while shit talking their teams and Bruce.

Also I hate the Dick and Robin!Jason didn't get along. They absolutely did, Dick was like 0.5 seconds away from taking Jason to live with the titans permanently.

Tim: 'Oh Jason is Tims Robin, Oh Dick betrayed Tims trust.' in the name of the orange dude y'all elected twice W R O N G. Tim Drake used to watch VHS tapes of the flying Graysons routine. He wasn't even a batman Stan first. That came after he saw Robin do a quadruple summersault. Tim is a Dick Grayson fanboy first Person second. Like Tim canonically saw Jason die and went lmao skill issue, imagine not being like Dick Grayson i'm better. When Dick first started training him, he'd consistently excuse himself go to the other room, hyperventilate over Dick Grayson teaching him how to train surf. Dick is not just his idol he's also a pretty substantial part of Tim's support system. He calls Dick when he's going through something or is stuck on a case. And he knows that Dick will always have his back. They have like the unrealistic adorable sibling relationships from Tv that don't exist irl. Tim also does that awkward shuffle thing after fights bc they're still siblings and Dick just pretends the fight didn't happen until Tims calm again

Damian: You have to understand Damian thought he'd have to basically do the league all over again. He lands with Bruce and those ideas are soundly rejected and he now has no trust or respect and he has to adjust. And Bruce is doing his holier than thou, you should know better 10yro who literally was brainwashed as a child act, like Tim didn't have to pull him away from straight up becoming a villain and Dick didn't have to put him in his place with his fists a couple times a year (we love Bruce really). Then Bruce gets Time-streamed, Tim runs away and now the circus freak is BATMAN. Except the circus freak is also a sadistic bastard to criminals, despite being made out of marshmallows to you. Dick hangs people upside down off high buildings for information and cackles as Nightwing. He also listens to Damians worries and helps him deconstruct his bias view of the world. Dick canonically set the standard for child heroes and is among one of the most beloved and trusted heroes despite being marshmallowy and refusing to murder people. Dick is kinda like Damians stand in non pretentious moral compass until he learns his own one later on. Hence why Damian adores Dick Grayson more than anyone really.

in summary support my agenda that Dick and Jason are gossipy drinking buddies, Tim absolutely had a Dick Grayson Shrine as a child and Damian calls Dick to double check that he still cannot kill Timothy (its now entirely a joke.... mostly)

[shentheauthor]

Sometimes growing up is realizing

1. Oh 12yo me did NOT understand that billdip was weird and bad, oh dear

2. I was too in denial about my queerness to appreciate old man yaoi

3. Billford is peak actually

4. Billford was abusive as fuck, but it’s so well written and it’s so interesting to look at their interactions through that lens. Seeing Ford break out of that hold is genuinely fantastic, and it’s such good writing. The writing of Bill’s abuse is so realistic, and not once does the narrative attempt to excuse it. He is an unreliable narrator in the truest sense of the word. He lies to himself AND us, sometimes without realizing it because his view of reality is so warped.

5. Bill’s behavior is explained by his past, but not excused by it. It’s so easy to feel empathy for him while condemning his actions. Alex hirsch has made such a genuinely good sympathetic villain without taking away the evil parts of him.

6. Lmao divorce

[brawltogethernow]

is it okay if i ask what the issue with ring doorbell cameras are? i was under the impression that they were helpful for stuff like potential crimes/lawsuits, safety from police misconduct, and protection from people who are there to harass/cause harm to a home owner. what downsides could they have that outweighs the potential good they can do?

(x) Sometimes the people with the cameras...are the ones harassing people. They're a tool: They don't have a moral alignment. I'm sure people with good reasons to surveil their neighborhoods exist, but I have only personally encountered people who really really want an excuse to call the cops on one of their neighbors.

That said, I didn't say it was amoral to have a ring camera. I said it was creep behavior. It's creepy. I just dislike it. I don't like that if I take my coffee out on the front stoop without a bra on at six a.m. three different wealthy older couples I have literally never spoken to are recording it. I don't like that an increasing number of people consider it acceptable behavior to introduce themselves by saying they've noticed while reviewing their RING CAMERA(tm) that you walk your dog every morning at 10:45 but stopped recently. I don't like being flagged down by strangers who are like, "Yesterday someone stole the change out of my car cupholders, and I notice you walked past my driveway yesterday evening.... Why is that?" and having to laugh charmingly and explain my schedule to them because if I don't they're going to try to send police to my house. I did not enjoy humoring the across the street neighbor as she scrubbed through one of her multiple exterior camera feeds on her phone trying to find the culprit who moved her doormat and discovering that it captured my ENTIRE deck until she landed on a frame that finally had some suspicious figures in it and started to get excited until I pointed out that they were us at the beginning of the conversation we were still having.

It just makes me uncomfortable. I have no obligation to think kindly about people who haven't been personally been weird at me yet who ~may or may not~ be deleting most of their surveillance footage without watching it. It's my opinion that recording everybody who walks down your street is a dick move; it's not neutral behavior to degrade people's privacy in shared spaces, and the cons of doing this don't go away if the pros outweigh them.

It's like watching loud videos on your phone on the bus--you don't have to be doing something evil to make some of the people around you passionately hate your guts. If I made anybody feel uncomfortable about having a ring camera that was on purpose. Really just not a fun luxury item people get their grandparents for Christmas I'm a fan of.

[innerfare]

Going Down On You - Part 3 

Summary: how they go down on you

Characters: Robin, Nami, Koala, Reiju, Ichiji, X. Drake

Genre: pure smut

CW: NSFW // oral sex, shameless dirty talk, Robin devil fruit shenanigans, toxic Ichiji

——— 

Robin: 

Spawns hands to hold you down while she has her way with you, mercilessly tonguing your cunt until you’re begging her to stop because you’re overstimulated. She’s much more into overstimulation than she is into teasing, and will often use a vibrator on you after making you cum on her tongue because she wants to drag your pleasure out as long as possible, obsessed with the little sounds you make when you can’t even form words. 

She also uses her devil fruit ability on you, has most definitely spawned a tongue while you were all alone in a room, directly into your panties. Once did it while you were not alone, the entire crew together and laughing over nonsense at dinner, something warm and wet suddenly poking into your clit and massaging your most sensitive spot. It quickly got to the point you had to excuse yourself to the bathroom because you couldn’t contain your moans any longer. 

“You looked to be having quite the difficult time at dinner,” she giggles when the two of you are alone later that night. “I think Nami was suspicious.” 

Another time, you were alone in the bathroom when a pair of hands wrapped around your ankles. You tripped and fell into a cloud of hands, which proceeded to twist you into a pretzel as several tongues appeared, two licking at your nipples while two more battled for your cunt, one eventually slipping down to your ass. Many of your most powerful orgasms have been the result of Robin using her devil fruit power for evil rather than good. 

Nami: 

Her absolute favorite is to 69, and she’s the top- always. She loves it because she can hold your legs apart, your body trapped between hers and the mattress, and wiggle her hips in front of your face to tease you, lifting her hips just as you try to push your tongue between her folds, telling you, “come on, you can do it,” when your tongue doesn’t reach. She does other things to tease you, too, such as biting your inner thighs and spitting on your cunt only to do nothing with it, laughing when you complain. 

“You’re being ridiculous,” she’ll scold you with a laugh. “This is why I don’t let you on top. You clearly can’t handle it.” 

While you moan into her pussy, she’s usually attacking your clit, only to bite your thighs again when you say you’re about to cum. She doesn’t tease you too much, but she always does it just a little, going on a bit of a power trip but never abusing her position too much (unless you ask; she’d definitely make you regret it if you did). 

Sometimes, after she uses a vibrator on you, she’ll go down on you just to clean up the mess you made. She gets a little too into the taste of you, though, and usually ends up working you up to another orgasm. Side note: she has most definitely pushed her tits between your legs before, or else had you grind on them before riding her face; she’s come up with all sorts of ways to use them to gets you off and has even held a vibrator to her chest and made you ride it. 

Koala: 

When you’re using toys on her, she’s very much a bottom, and even when she’s using toys on you, she acquiesces to your demands, doing whatever you say and melting especially fast when the two of you share a vibrator instead of you just using it on her. But when she’s going down on you, it’s another story. She’s a little bit obsessed with the sense of control it gives her, as well as the fact that you just can’t seem to keep your legs from shaking when she shoves her tongue in your hole.

The first orgasm she squeezes out of you is usually just with her tongue, sometimes with her fingers, too. Then, she likes to either scissor you or pull out some toys, but it’s different from when you start with toys. When she pulls them out in the middle, it’s usually because she wants to fuck you with a dildo while tonguing your clit. But other times, she really loves grinding her cunt into yours and then tasting the result. Regardless of how you end up, if you start the night with Koala’s face between your legs, you know you’re in for it. 

She also has a habit of kneeling between your legs and pushing her head between your skirt when the two of you are in public. She’ll pull you into store rooms or take advantage of empty RA classrooms, pushing you up against shelves or bending you over a desk. It’s a little habit she picked up from Sabo, wicked devil that he is, and she can’t stop chasing the thrill of someone walking in and seeing the way your bottom lip quivers when she tongue fucks you. 

Reiju: 

Reiju is so mean. Up until she got her face between your legs, you thought she was pretty sweet. Sure, you’ve heard stories of Germa 66, but she seems so much nicer than her brothers. Plus, she has butterfly wings, and how mean can a girl with butterfly wings truly be? You quickly discover the answer to that one night when her brothers are out and the two of you are alone in a sitting room in Germa’s castle. 

It all happens so fast. One minute, you’re both drinking some wine, and the next, she’s bending you over the coffee table and attacking your cunt from behind, smacking your ass and disparaging you for thinking she was so nice, pulling her tongue off your clit when your legs start to shake and you say you’re about to cum, tonguing your ass while you back down from the edge of your orgasm. 

“Did you really think I would make it that easy for you? If you want to cum, you’re going to have to work for it.” 

You don’t know how long she teases you before letting you cum on her tongue, but as you soon learn, it’s not unusual. Reiju is always mean when she gets your panties off and bends you over something, the sight of your poor, leaking hole turning her into a pink-haired demon. She often threatens you when she’s between your legs, too, telling you she’ll turn you over to one of her brothers if you’re not a very good girl for her. And given the wicked gleam in her eye, you believe her. 

Ichiji: 

He’s actually angry about it. He’s the eldest prince of Germa, an invincible fighter and so infamous he’s a literal comic book character. And you’re supposed to be beneath him, but he just can’t get the thought of your creamy pussy out of his head. It was Niji who said it first: “I bet she tastes amazing.” His brother was near-blackout drunk and probably didn’t even remember saying it, but Ichiji remembered, the thought tormenting him until he finally snaps and throws you down on one of the castle sofas, the servants exchanging mortified looks before scurrying off. 

“Niji was right,” he mutters against your cunt, ignoring you when you ask him what he said. And Niji was right. You taste to fucking good. 

He laps at your folds with the flat of his tongue, never one to worry about wasting things yet determined not to let a single drop of your sweet, creamy juices miss his tongue. He may not be above wasting things, but he most certainly is not about greed, and you trigger greed in him the likes of which he’s never before known. 

“You’re mine, now. All fucking mine. If you even think about letting another man do this to you, I’ll fucking kill him.” You’re certain he would follow through on his threat, but you just can’t seem to pull away, not when his horrible words make your pussy throb so painfully. You’ve never had a man between your legs like this, never thought a prince could be rendered insatiable by the taste of you. 

He gets competitive about it from then on, the knowledge that the thought has at least crossed his brother’s mind while inebriated making him smirk as he removes your panties for the thousandth time, pushing your face into the pillows and pulling your ass into the air to admire what he knows others have only been able to imagine. He often ends up pulling you into the air, holding you in his arms while he drags his tongue through your cunt, you struggling to hold on to the sheets as he licks you from behind. 

X Drake: 

This man is so stern, so serious. In public, he projects strength and rigidity, and he has an almost harshness about him that he carefully maintains in order to protect both himself and the people around him, including you, his beloved. But behind closed doors, the facade falls away, and you find yourself in close quarters with a man who might just die if he can’t bury his face in your wet pussy. 

“This is all I’ve been able to think about today. If only they knew.” 

The plumed hat and domino mask both come off, as do most of his clothes, and he kneels between your legs with the intention of placing sweet kisses to your clit, only to dive in when he catches your scent. Try as he might, he just can’t help himself. And when you wrap your legs around his head, he absolutely loses it, reaching up to twist your nipples while you tangle your fingers in his coppery hair. 

He says things against your cunt, but the words are muffled between your thighs. He’s constantly going from your hole to your clit, hardly able to stick with just one thing because he wants it all, and he wants it all now. After your first or second orgasm, he’ll pick you up and drop you on the bed, taking advantage of your shaking legs to fold you up, giving himself better access to you creamy cunt.

———

Hope you enjoyed it! If you want more, you can check out my masterlist here!

[loveneversleepss]

TROPE SERIES: Lee know

Brothers best friend

requested by @aakamiLee on wattpad

Pairing: enemy!Lee know x female reader

Trope: enemies to lovers, fake dating

Warnings: cursing, bickering, mean and nice nicknames, time jumps (bc im lazy), smut, protected sex (we're responsible for once), unprotected sex (Oopsie), oral sex, betrayal, yelling?

w.c: 10 k

~

There's a big difference between love and hate. Who you love and care for are forever in your heart, you'll follow them to the end of the earth. But hatred, it's made out of pure evil. It sinks into you until you can't push it out anymore. You deal with it in ways that aren't right. Until, you accept it. Make peace with it. Then that's when it goes away.

I guess that's why villains or enemies are seen as more powerful and better. Attractive sometimes too. Because they've made peace of their hate. They're gonna use it to fire themselves into getting what they want. Because they're not afraid. They'd let the world burn for what they love. Meanwhile hero will sacrifice what they love to save the world. And you'd choose the villain every time.

If there's anyone you have a strong hatred for, it's Lee know. Ever since you were a child, he had it out for you to embarrass you and tease you at any moment he could. On the way you'd dress, the way you talked, or the way you walked. He would say something about it. You didn't know what or why he always would make fun of you. What could possibly possess him to do that?

"Wow, y/n. Could you get anymore dorkier? Look at what you're wearing," he'd snicker.

There was never a moment he would spare you, or do anything to prove he was good. He was a bully, an enemy and you would never side with him. You promised that to yourself. But you'd hate to admit, he's gorgeous. Breath taking.

But there was one person who was disgusted by him and hated him even more than you did. Hyunjin. Your knight in shining armor. He was even more beautiful than Lee know.

"I know you're not talking with those tight jeans, Lee know." He came by your side and defended you. Lee know looked embarrassed on the spot.

You were thankful for him. You survived Lee knows bullying tactics thanks to him. He was your best friend all your childhood years. But he had to leave. You knew it wouldn't last. But you had hoped it would. The last day of elementary school, you dreaded it and wished it didn't come. But it did, and he moved away after that day.

"Don't worry, y/n. I'll come back for you, I will never forget my best friend." He hugged you tight and he whispered sweetly to you, "promise me you'll wait? Promise that you'll never have another boy at your side, I'm the only one for you." And you intended to keep that promise.

How the years fly by. Senior year. Graduation. This is the final year. The final time to experience everything you possibly can. And you will.

"Y/n!" You heard your name being called by your brother, Chan. He's practically legend at your school. He graduated a year ago. At your school, you have a record of seniors who experienced things no one else has before. He accomplished to host all senior parties. How does one even manage that?

You made your way down the stairs in your pajamas. "What?" You yelled back and made your way to the kitchen. "We're going out, don't burn down the house, and don't go anywhere." He said in a busy tone as he texted in his phone. You saw Leeknow standing next to Chan and you glanced at him confused. "Since when were you two friends? You don't even go to our school anymore, Chan." Chan made eye contact with Lee know and back to you. "Because I'm actually cool, unlike you, lil sis. I have friends and you so desperately need to get out more." He slipped away before you could answer and you glared in his direction.

You turned your focus back on Lee know as stared at you with a smirk. "Cute pjs," he joked and you rolled your eyes. "Well excuse me that I don't look like a supermodel in the morning." He seemed amused and leaned over the table, "it's noon and Saturday. Why don't you go out with us, huh? Get put of your comfort zone, gain a social life or something." You scoffed and took a couple steps closer, "I have a life and friends. I don't need to be drinking and partying all the time." He straightened his body up and crossed his arms, "name one friend you have." He was skeptical of you, you have to admit. Making friends is not an easy task for you.

"Hyunjin," you said confidently. He laughed practically in your face. "That loser? He moved away a long time ago, it's time you move on sweetheart." You were done with the conversation and flipped him off as you walked away. He rushed to stop you, leaning against the wall before the stairs. "Come on, get ready. It'll be fun." That's all you need. To attend a party with your mortal enemy.

"No thanks." You shinned a fake smile at him and you walked up the stairs. "Jeez what a loner," he mumbled and you looked down at your pajamas. Suddenly feeling self conscious. Maybe you should start going out more. You stopped mid way on the stairs and he had begun to walk away. "Do you really think it would be fun?" He turned back around and rose an eyebrow mischievously. "Yes, it would." He crossed his arms, you immediately noticed his veins and the tone of his muscles appearing. You have to admit, if he wasn't your mortal enemy, you would find him attractive.

He followed your eye path to his arms and cleared his throat. "Just go get ready loser." You frowned and continued going up the stairs and got ready.

You peaked around the corner and saw him leaning against the wall in the kitchen, waiting for you. "Yeah, Chan. It's fine I can take her. I'll be there soon." He hung up and you cleared your throat. He turned his attention up to you and smiled slightly, you began to walk down the steps with a slight shyness. He slowly made his way towards you and... He wolf whistles at you.

"Okay, ew." You rose your hand and made a face of disgust. He smiled. "It's just nice to see you actually try to fit in for once." The backhanded compliment hit you in the face like a truck. You huffed and crossed your arms, "why can't you just say I look pretty? You don't have to insult me." His expression dropped and his eyes softened, "okay I'm sorry. You look pretty." The Lee know apologizing for once in his life? You're shocked and frankly, scared. He must want something. "Okay now you're being strangely nice, what is it that you want? Girls? Money?"

He smirked as he looked down at your hands. "Did I maybe convince you to go out with me out of jealousy that I would get with a girl?" He slowly moved to the first step as you walked down to him. How the hell did he come to that conclusion? Delusional. "Are you jealous, little y/n?" He leaned against the wall. You laughed in disbelief and crossed your arms. "Of course not, no, I'm not jealous." He smirked and licked his lips, "Uh huh." He sighed heavily, "Just admit it, you're in love with me." You mock a laugh at him, "Um, no."

He raises an eyebrow at you, "Is that so?" He steps closer to you, almost toppling over you, "even when I do this?" He places a lock of your hair behind your ear and stares into your eyes, you try to ignore the heart beating fast in your chest. "Just leave me alone, jerk!" He laughs softly to himself as you push him away. "You're hot when you're mad." You narrow your eyes at him with annoyance as you walk away. He always does things like that just to get you flustered, you should be able to say you're used to it but you're not. He makes you nervous and barely able to stand when he touches you. You don't know why he has that effect on you but he does. And you hate yourself for it.

~~~

You'd never would've imagined in a hundred years that you would be in a car with Lee Know right now. It's frightening really. "So, what is all good about that Hyunjin guy? You seem to be in love with him or something." You rolled your eyes and continued looking out the window, "i'm not in love with him, he was just really nice to me." He scoffed and sat up straighter in his seat, "you're obsessed with him because he was nice to you? God, y/n, you really need to go to this party." You huffed and sat more back in the seat. You eventually arrived and heard the music booming in the distance, he parked neatly. But he hasn't motioned to leaving yet, awaiting your move. You always pondered a question and never had the guts to say it before to him, but you're feeling pretty bold right now.

"Why do you hate me?" You looked over your shoulder at him, he was clenching his jaw hard. "Who said I do?" He turned to look at you two, since when has he had that sparkle in his eyes? It's mesmerizing. He looked down to his water bottle in the cup holder and decided to take a sip. "Are you fucking with me?" He practically choked at your bluntness and hit his chest a couple times. "I mean you have made every single thing I've ever done incredibly hard and made fun of me every chance you could." He set down the water bottle and looked into your eyes once again, "it was the only way I could get your attention." You shook your head at him. "There are other ways of getting my attention, being mean is not one of them." You opened the door and slammed it shut in annoyance, he followed closely behind which annoyed you even more.

You walked into the party and realized, this is definitely not your element. "Scared, little one?" Lee know whispered into your ear. "Just not my element, can you get me something to drink?" He looked guilty all of a sudden and licked his smooth lips, "so uh. About what I said about you basically getting out of your comfort zone. Maybe drinking should not be one of them." You wanted so badly to beat him up. Rip him apart to shreds. "What? Come on, I need to unwind." You faced him now and shot puppy dog eyes at him, "pretty please?" He stayed silent for a while, just looking down at you. "Okay, I'll be back. Stay put."

Yeah, no way you're staying put. You took the opportunity when he left to explore around, leading into a den in the house. You became face to face with a man with long black hair, kissing a woman on the couch. You instantly recognized him, Hyunjin. He broke away from the kiss with an amused smile and the girl noticed you and stared with a judging look, he followed her gaze and laid eyes on you.

What. The. Fuck. "Y/n?" You turned away quickly and bumped into Lee knows silhouette, knocking your drink all over himself. "Ugh, dammit y/n." He noticed your face and immediately searched around for the cause. Lee Know's gaze locked from him to you and then back to him. His jaw tensed as he stared at them both and it clicked, that's also his ex girlfriend. Tears began to fill in your eyes, and he pulled you close. He led you to a bathroom far away from them. Tears fell down your cheeks, pooling your mind.

"Listen to me, y/n. Fuck them. He didn't deserve you anyways." You leaned against the sink as he desperately tried to wipe away your tears. You shook your head while sobbing, "I can't believe it, I was an idiot to love him. I wasted all this time waiting for him." Now he was shaking his head, "no, y/n. Don't think like that. He's the idiot and you should beat his ass for doing that to you." You sighed heavily and pushed him away by his stomach, wiping your own tears. "God, I wish you wouldn't see me like this. Please don't make fun of me for this."

He stayed silent. "God, you reek." You sat down on the closed toilet lid. He looked down to his shirt, "oh right. I forgot." He took of his jacket, wrapping it around your shoulders, and off his shirt went. Pulling it off his shoulders, and wetting it in the sink. You couldn't help staring at his sculpted physique, he was ripped. And there was one thing that stood out to you, a small scar located a little above his waist. It was so unique and beautiful, you wanted to trace along it. He noticed your staring, "what?"

You stood up and walked over to him, he froze as you stared down at his scar. He backed against the sink. You slowly raised your hand and touched his stomach, "it's pretty." You traced along it, his chest rising up and down as you slowly caressed it. "Y/n," he whispered softly and you looked up at him. His cheeks were slightly red and you instantly knew he felt embarrased. You yanked your hand away, "sorry." He shook his hand and mumbled a, "its fine."

He continued to try to wash away the alcohol from his shirt as you watched. "I'll wash this later." He drained it and you gave him his sweater back to cover him up. He paused before reaching for the door, he looked back at you, "do you wanna go home?" You nodded your head, "yeah. I wanna go home." He put his arm around you and led you outside, not once letting you astray from his grip. You hadn't noticed before, but people were staring at you, you heard faint whispers. "Who's that girl with Lee Know?" "She's pretty." "Wait I think that's Chan's little sister." You shook off their conversations, of course they were talking about you, you were with Mr. King of the parties. He opened the door for you and you were about to enter when you heard your name being called. You took a deep breath and turned to the culprit. "What do you want Hyunjin?"

"Just let me explain." You glanced at Lee Know and he nodded his head for you to put Hyunjin's ass on blast. "Explain what exactly. That you didn't have your tongue down her throat, while you told me to wait for you all these years and forbade me to have a boyfriend? Please, how much of a fucking loser are you to get someone's sloppy seconds?" Lee Know held in his laughter as he brought a fist to his mouth. He looked visibly proud of you. "Yeah, we're done here. Let's go."

You held the door to enter when he yelled out, "you think you're so fucking high and mighty don't you. You wanna pick out my relationship but not the one right here," he motioned at the two of you, "I mean come on y/n. He fucking made your life a living hell, don't you remember the times you cried in my arms about him, wishing that he would die?" You suddenly felt small, he exposed you bare and you couldn't deny it. Suddenly, there was a crowd watching from afar that you hadn't noticed from afar.

Lee Know stepped in, "get over it. She doesn't want your fucking ass and is perfectly happy without you. Whatever she said in the past is definitely not how she feels anymore, now she loathes your ass. So, tell me this.." He stepped closer to him and you suddenly realized why everyone fears him too, he's not afraid to point out the obvious and speak up, he whsipered something inaudible to him. Hyunjin clenched his jaw and had a face of anger. He walked away defeated and Lee Know laughed as he did. You looked at Lee Know differently now, he stuck up for you when no one else did.

Maybe in another universe, you two could've been friends. Maybe he's not so bad afterall. Then you realized how rude you were to Hyunjin.

"My god, I'm turning into you!" He chuckled as your hands covered your face. "Is that so bad?" You nodded your head yes aggressively and he rolled his eyes. "Lino~~~" Oh God, as drunk as ever your brother came over to you two. "Chan, why did you drink so much?" He collapsed on the car and burped loudly, classy. "Okay, let's get you two home."

~~~

"Does he always get this drunk?" You asked Lee know and he shrugged his shoulders. "Sometimes, only when he's stressed I guess." You plopped down on the couch and he collapsed next to you. You both sighed heavily and tried to relax. Although it didn't last long, "how are you feeling about tonight?" You shook your head, "let's not talk about it..." He cares, he cares about what you're feeling. "It's weird, isn't it?" He furrows his face in confusion, "what is?" You smiled slightly as you looked at him, "those moments where we don't hate each other." He sighed once again, "like I said. I don't hate you."

"I know." You do know that, but in your heart, you can't shake off the past. "But I know you hate me, and that's okay. I'll make you like me someday." You laughed softly, you're already starting to. You start to think about the party again and a light appears in your head. "What if we strike a deal with each other?" He raised an eyebrow, obviously interested. "What if we pretended to date?" He dropped his head back and sighed, "what do I get out of this?" You scooted closer to him, "well it'll make your ex jealous, plus it would also make Hyunjin jealous too... and maybe he will regret not being with me. Also increase my popularity." He sucked on his teeth, "seems this only benefits you, I couldn't care less about my ex."

You pondered and searched your mind for a benefit for him, "fine then, you get me." His eyes widened and he brought his head back down to normal level, "excuse me?" You leaned onto the couch on one arm, holding your head, "you heard me. I'll let you hit it whenever you want." He scoffed, "I'm offended that you think I don't have access to that already." You bit your bottom lip, "but it's not me. It's different, I'm your enemy." He squinted his eyes and blinked about a thousand times, like to actually think about it. "So, you're saying you want to have hate sex?" You almost giggled and shrug your shoulders.

"I knew you were in love with me." You smiled and shook your head, "like I said, no." He mimicked your position and got closer, "so if I told you I wanted you right now, spread out and making you cry for it. You would do it?" You made a face of disgust, "okay don't make it weird. But essentially.. sure. After all if imma lose my virginity to someone, might as well be you." He retracted his face is shock, "wait you're a virgin? God, you were really waiting for him, huh?" Unfortunately yes, you were.

He licked his lips and nodded, "okay fine. I'll be your fake boyfriend. But that means that you can't fight me on couple duties and don't tell Chan." What have you gotten yourself into?

He seemed to keep up his end of the deal, to not be able to get away from him, even at school. Your phone began to ring and you reached into your book bag, more of a tote bag and answered it. "Hello?" His voice was excited and jumpy, "hi y/n.~" You nearly hung up the phone as soon as he spoke. "Lee know?? How did you even get my number?" You audibly groaned his name. "Your brother~" he cooed. "Remind me to murder him later.." He laughed softly and you felt butterflies appear in your tummy, you clenched your stomach and nearly punched yourself to make it go away.

"Why are you calling me?" You cross one of your arms across your chest and the other holding up your phone. "That's how you talk to your savior? Your brother told me to take you home." You groan aloud and begin to walk down the path to the front. "Why didn't he come for me?" There's a loud beep of a horn and you stop into your tracks. "Sorry, apparently that car didn't see me.. maybe he wanted us to spend alone time together." You roll your eyes. "I highly doubt that." He clicks his tongue, "so where are you?" You continue your walking again but go even slower. "I'm hiding, or maybe im at home or maybe im in Hyunjin's car. Could be anywhere really as long as I am away from you." This feeling makes you feel upbeat, you like teasing him.

"Tell me where you are right now you brat," he speaks quickly in a rude tone. "Okay, first of all, rude." He sighs heavily and then chuckles softly to himself, "nice dress, Princess. Can I take it off?" Your phone slightly drops down when you search your surroundings for him. You furrow your brows when you don't find him. "How'd you know I-" You scream as your feet are lifted off the floor, being carried from behind by your waist. "Found you," he whispers and attacks your neck, biting it playfully and pretending to eat it while making gurgling noises. "Okay, okay, enough! Put me down!" People were staring.

He sets you down gently and you toss your phone back into your bag. "Here, let me get that for you." He deattaches your book bag off your shoulder and onto his. "Thanks," you mumble softly. His arm cheekily raises over your head to your shoulder, "So, what are we doing today huh? Going to dinner? Or a fair? Maybe even the movies?" You stopped walking, pushing his arm off and your mouth was slightly agape as he looked at you curiously, "what are you talking about? We're going straight home." He pouted his bottom lip, as you noticed his car. Without waiting, you marched straight to it and to the passenger's side door, about to open it until he slammed it shut.

He leans in close, keeping a firm grip on the door. "We have to go out," he said softly, you shook your head no as you kept trying to open the door. "Come onnn, let's go on a date. You were the one who said you wanted to do this fake dating thingy." He whined pathetically and you knew he was just messing with you. So obviously you had no intentions or interest in saying yes. But you did anyway, just to mess with him. "Hmm, why not?" He perked up immediately and stepped closer to you. "Really?" "No," you said almost immediately and he frowned. "Well too bad because we're going anyway." He finally let go of the door and opened it. You glared at him as you went in and he softly smiled.

~~

He took you out for ice cream. It was nice. He was nice and complimented your dress. He took you home afterward, and surprise surprise. No Chan. "Great, I don't wanna be alone... Come inside?" He looked at your front door and then you. "Can I cash in?" Already? You weren't prepared yet. And weren't exactly ready to give it up yet. "Oh, I haven't prepped or anything." He stepped closer to you, merely inches away. "I don't need all that, just you." But why the hell not? The sooner the better.

You led him inside and up into your room, making sure to lock the door. He wandered about as you quickly went into the restroom to touch up, the door was open to keep an eye on him. You walked in after a couple minutes and he was sitting on the bed, looking at picture. One of you in elementary, playing in the grass alongside Hyunjin. "I always thought you were so pretty when you played in the grass, I never got the chance to go with you. Your protector prohibited it." You approached him slowly and sat on the bed. You pulled the picture out of his hand, "forget him. I'm here now."

His eyes scanned your face as you tossed the photo aside. You prepared yourself, first kiss, first everything would be with him. He leaned in slightly. "What if my brother finds out?" His hand slips behind your ear, tucking softly at your hair strands. "He won't," he whispers against your lips. He stares into your eyes, flickering down often back down to your lips. "God, you're so damn beautiful." He pressed his soft lips into yours, taking you whole. You sighed in relief, it's as magical as you thought it would be. Moist and soft as pillows. Connecting two bodies into one.

"Don't stop," you mumbled against his lips. And he didn't. He entered his tongue softly into your mouth, entangling his with yours. You moaned at the feeling, the pleasure intensifying and all your doubts fade away. He reaches at the bottom of your dress, pulling it up above your waist. Revealing your underwear and tugging at it. He strokes at your concealed clit, he smiles. "You're wet for me, baby?" You almost moaned at the nickname. You felt shy now that he pointed it out. "You're sure you want to go through with this? I can stop."

You don't want him to stop. "Don't you dare stop." You pulled him back into your lips. You felt him smile against your lips. He pulled your dress over your head and laid it onto the floor. You reached for his belt. He stopped you as he took it off himself. You crawled back higher in the bed for room. He undressed himself until he was in his underwear too, the beautiful scar appearing once again. You couldn't help but stare, he is beautiful you have to admit. You reached for his pants and pulled out an aluminum wrapper. Holding it in his mouth and crawled toward you seductively. You giggled as he appeared on top of you and you took the wrapper out of his mouth.

He kissed your neck which made you melt in his touch. It felt like heaven and sent tingles down your body. Intensifying the building pleasure. He reached around your back and unclipped your bra. You weren't expecting it and gasped, so easily slipping it off. He attached his lips to your breast immediately, making your back arch as he sucked on it softly. His fingers teased at your entrance, playing with your panties and slapping it against your sensitive skin. "Don't tease me," you whimpered and his eyes turned dark with lust. He grabbed the wrapper from you and slipped down his underwear. Your mouth dropped, you weren't expecting it so suddenly.

You felt compelled to look at it and dragged down your panties. He groaned as he made eye contact with your pussy. He opened the wrapper and slipped it on neatly and swift. Getting ready and you prepared as he positioned himself. He entered smoothly and you moaned aloud, you covered your mouth but he pulled it away quickly. He kept your hands above your head at your wrists and the other positioning himself into you. You felt so full. "Fuck, fuck. It feels so good." You whined out as he continued to bottom out into you. He finally stopped pushing until you. The pain and pleasure mixing.

You moaned happily and tried to break free of his hold. "God, you're fucking perfect," he whispered. The praise got you going even more. He pulled out to the tip and pushed back in. You moaned heavily again as he began to set a rhythm. "Fuck, you're gonna make me come if you keep clenching like that." You wrapped your legs around his waist to encourage him. "Cum if you want to, just keep going." You've never talked like this to anyone. He let go of his grip around your wrists and readjusted your legs. Laying your ankles onto his shoulders and holding your legs close.

He pushed back into you and you practically crumbled in his hands. The pleasure was intensified, heightened. You cried out as he mercilessly pounded into you. "Please, please" you begged although you didn't know what. His thumb rubbed against your sensitive bud and you pushed away with your hips. You whimpered out as he kept abusing your body. "What's wrong, can't take it?" He teased you which made you angry, you hate being teased especially by him. It's his favorite thing to do.

"I hate you. I hate you. I hate you." You chanted against his rhythm. "I hate you so much," you mumbled to yourself. He smirked, "keep talking and watch what's gonna happen." A challenge, you know you can't resist. "I hate that I love this so much," you laughed breathlessly, "I hate that I love you fucking me." You squealed as he turned you over onto your stomach. He pushed your neck into the sheets and arched your back, a sting on your butt appeared. You whimpered at the pain, he slid on once again and you screamed into the pillow. "Keep going," he whispered into your ear. And so you did, confessing all what you were thinking.

"I hate that you're so attractive." He pulled your hair into a bundle and moaned softly. Butterflies appeared in your stomach, he was enjoying this, enjoying you. "I hate that you know exactly how to make me crumble in your hands." Tug. "I hate that I crave you at times I shouldn't." He begins to pound up into you fast and harsh, making you a moaning mess. "I hate that I've wanted you all these years!" You want it, want it so bad. You need a release. "That's all I wanted to hear," he whispered sweetly into your ear and pulled your face to kiss him. You cried out into his mouth as he mercilessly grinded into you. He moaned loudly, his hands bracing onto your hips as his pace slowed. But he kept going, for you.

He snapped his hips into you once, twice, and you collapsed. Like a thread being cut. A knot being undone. A firework finally exploding. Release, sweet beautiful release. He talked you through it, "that's it. Just let it go, princess. You're doing so good." You relaxed in his arms, feeling him slip out of you slowly. You suddenly felt empty now, without the comfort of him. He laid you down softly onto your back. "You okay?" He cooed at you as he brushed the hair out of your perfectly happy face. You nodded your head, "what are you smiling about, hm?"

"I'm just happy." You were. He gave you an experience that you'd dream of. He pulled back to yank off the rubber, and threw it away into your bathroom trash. You got up reluctantly to pull your underwear back on. But once you felt your feet hit the ground, a sharp sensation drew up your back and you stumbled onto your knees. He came running to your laid as you laid helplessly, "ow."

~~~

You two had a conversation after, establishing some boundaries. "Okay so first off," you underlined the top of the page titled, agreement. "We are not allowed to fall for each other, no romantic feelings whatsoever." He nodded in agreement as you scribbled it along the page. "Have to show some sort of affection in public for fake dating purposes... and make a public appearance at a party or something." He sighed heavily and rolled his eyes. "It's not that hard okay? It can be a simple gesture like a kiss on the cheek or a hug." You wrote it down.

"And I get to have my benefit whenever I want." He mentioned as he snatched the paper away from you and wrote it down. "As long as it's not in front of other people, I'd rather not flash my pussy to a stranger." He chuckled at your bluntness. "Oh right one more thing," you took the paper back. "Agreement will be void once goal is made aka I get my crush or broken." He stared hard at you, confusion in his sparky eyes. "You still want that guy? After all he did?"

You shrug your shoulders, "I mean I get it. You get lonely without someone to love. And plus, now I know the benefits of having someone." You cheekily rose your eyebrows at him in a playful way. He sighed and looked away. "I don't understand why you don't want your ex back. Didn't you two love each other?" He shook his head and you laid the paper onto the table in front of you two. "Why?" He sighs, "because she isn't you." You look at him confused, scared. "She isn't you... as friends, we have a connection, we light up around each other. I don't have that connection with her. I crave a connection if I want a relationship."

You understood what he meant. You do. You two seem to always encourage each other and be confident. You're not afraid of telling him anything. He changed the subject. "So, what did you mean that you've wanted me all these years?" Oh shit. You'd forgotten about that, your ears begun to stung. Might as well come out with the truth. "Well, I've always found you attractive. I just didn't wanna admit it."

"Yeah, I kinda have that effect on people." He flicked his imaginary long hair. You cackled out at his demeanor. "So that basically means you fantasize about me, huh?" You scoffed jokingly, "okay enough Mr. Cocky," you threw a pillow at him and he laid in defeat.

You had to begun to hang out at school with each other more. His friends had grown accustomed to you now. It was working, everyone believed you two were together. But thank god it was Friday, you hate school. You were sitting at the table where his friends were, waiting for him to arrive when you noticed his ex. Glaring at you with such fire in her eyes. "Hey," Lee Know said and you jumped once you felt his hand on your back. "Hi," he pecked you on the cheek. "You okay?" You nodded, while still looking in her direction, he noticed and followed your gaze. His eyes darkened as he noticed that she was whispering to her friends while looking at you. You felt suddenly conscious of yourself.

"Imma go okay?" You said softly to him but he grabbed your wrist to stop you. "Don't go, I'll handle it." You shook your head, "it's fine. Don't ruin anything between you two because of me." His eyes screamed at you to stay but you couldn't. You couldn't stand sitting there while she talked about you. So you walked away, feeling an ache in your stomach. You went to a nearby bathroom and washed your face. You stayed in there, looking at the mirror at your clothes. 'It could be better,' you thought. Maybe you'll go shopping.

You walked out upset and bumped into a tall boy. "Sorry," you said as you pulled away. "Y/n?" You stared up at him, that familiar face. "Hey Hyunjin." You stood silent, awaiting what he would say, it seems like he's got a lot on his mind. "Look I just wanted to say about how sorry I am for the other night. It was stupid and I don't even like the girl, I swear. I cut ties with her." You sighed heavily and put your hands in your sweaters pockets. "Let's just forget about that okay?" He nodded his head and you turned to leave.

"Wait," you stopped and looked up at him once more. "How about we go out tomorrow? So I can really make it up to you. Meet me at our spot at 3?" Your spot, you haven't been there in a long time. It's a big playground, you two would always meet up there in the past and just talk. "Sure, I'll be there." You walked away and find a stray Lee know again.

"Where'd you go?" You smacked your lips, "I have news!" His eyes creased and a small smile emerged. "Hyunjin asked me to go out tomorrow, as an apology." His smile quickly faded, and his eyes dropped down to his feet. "Isn't that good? I have to go shopping after school though, for some clothes." He nodded his head quick and reached into his back pocket, pulling out his wallet. "Get something nice for yourself okay?" He hands you a couple of big bills. "No, no. I don't wanna use your money." You try to hand him it back but he pulls away. You sigh reluctantly and put the money into your pocket.

He leans forward into your ear, "maybe you can buy something nice for the two of us, hm?" You instantly knew what he meant, lingerie, and your face reddened at the thought of it. "Don't be naughty."

It was the next morning, and Lee know had shown up to question you about Hyunjin. He sat next to your floor mirror on a seat cushion. "And you'll be alone?" You rolled your eyes as you grabbed your shopping bag, pulling out the new dress you bought. It's a navy blue and tight fitted, you're planning on wearing some stockings with it so you won't be completely exposed. "You're stressing too much about this." You said while walking over to your bathroom to change, bringing the bag with you. "Yeah, because I care about you."

You began to dress behind the door as you listened. "I just don't want him to try anything funny." You walked out, over to the mirror, in front of him, "It'll be fine, it's in public." He stared at you, scanning up and down and you smiled happily at the result. "So.. do you like it?" You turned to him and did a twirl. "Love, I'm not even looking at the dress." You sucked in a breath and smiled, you lifted your hair and tried to assess if it looked good. "Hmm, hair down. Only I get to see you with your hair pulled back." You knew what he meant to that too.

Which reminded you of the surprise you had for him. You had noticed a lingerie store next to the dress store. And you gave in, picking out a white set. After all it is his money, he'll enjoy it. "Hold on, I have a surprise for you." You skipped over to the bathroom and changed into it. It hugged you beautifully, a blinged out corset top with see through panties, attached was some laced stockings. It came with a light cover dress, it was flowy and very pretty. You bit your bottom lip as you gazed at yourself. Definitely out of your comfort zone, but so is everything.

"What's taking so long-" He pushed open the door and his face practically dropped. His eyes didn't know where to land. You shifted on your heels, "do you like it?" He said no words. He lifted you up from your legs and hung you over his shoulder. "Hey, what are you doing!" You screamed out and kicked your legs, it was useless. He dropped you onto your bed and quickly ran to your room door, locking it. You didn't know what he was doing, you only assumed. He wants to fuck you again.

"Get on your knees," he ordered you without hesitation. You've never seen him like this, so dominant. You slowly dragged yourself onto the floor. Gradually getting onto your knees, you looked up at him through your lashes. He slowly unzipped his pants and you gulped. You know what he wants. He pushed down his pants to his ankles along with his boxers. You stared at his length, rock hard. "You have no idea what you do to me," he said as he stroked your cheek. It felt so innocent in this setting, it soothed you. He wrapped his hand around himself and pressed it to your lips. "You know what to do."

You parted your lips slightly and pressed a soft kiss onto him. You moved his hand out of your way, replacing it with yours. And slowly, seductively, teasingly, you kitty licked at his tip. He hissed as he watched you. He grabbed your hair into a ball, holding it out of the way to enjoy the show. Finally, you pushed him into your mouth, you held down your tongue and tried your best not to gag. It was impossible and caused your eyes to fill with tears. "Fuck," he muttered under his breath, and he tugged on your hair aggressively, pushing your head. You didn't care, he can use you all he likes.

"Fuck, I need you right now." You hummed against him and he moaned out loud. You were beginning to feel a glow in between your legs. He pushed your mouth off of him and you got onto the bed. He threw his shirt off and you could cum at the sight, he's so breathtaking. He ripped your sheer dress off you, "hey don't ruin it!" He growled, "my money, my girl, I can do what the hell I want." You're not his girl, you were about to correct him when he pushed aside your panties. One of his fingers entering inside of you and you moaned. Prepping you for him.

He took out a condom and once again slipped one on with one hand, what an expert. He planted his hand next to your head and kissed you softly, his kisses were always so gentle. He slipped into you, beginning a rhythm and you moaned loudly into his mouth. He pulled away, "I feel that good?" You nodded your head quick and did not even try to be quiet. Your arms slipped around his neck and you closed your eyes in pure bliss. He was grunting hard, like he was gonna finish soon. But you knew he would keep going even if he did. He started to go faster while his moans were getting louder. You felt a slight shoot get blocked off and the condom fill up.

You felt a rush of pleasure come over you, you felt your high coming in close. You started to whimper out and clawed out his back. He then began to trickle kisses down your neck but you felt a slight sucking sensation. "Don't," you said breathlessly, "I'm still going out after this." He stopped and you saw how angry his expression was. His rhythm slowed down unexpectedly and you made eye contact with him. "Keep going. I'm so close," you begged him. "Uh, uh. You want to go out still? You don't get to finish." And he denied you of finishing. He pulled out of you.

You groaned, annoyed. "Why are you so mean?" You whined as he moved away from you. He smiles, "because," and kisses your cheek. You frown. He took off his condom and threw it in the bin next to your bed, you had planned ahead by putting one there. But you had your own ideas. As he laid beside you and stared at the ceiling, your hand slipped off your panties. Your hand slipped down between your folds, and circled your clit. You moaned out as you stared at Lee know, making eye contact. He shook his head disapprovingly. You were only to this to make him realize he made a mistake.

"Mm, Lee know," his name slipped out of your lips so easily. You made sure to sound as breathless as possible. It was working as you saw he was getting hard again. "I won't engage," he told you but you knew he was lying. "Fine," you stopped and got on top of him. "You won't play with me?" You grabbed his now hard length and held it lined up to your entrance. "Y/n, don't. I'm not wearing-" You ignored him as you slid down slowly. You braced yourself onto his stomach and moaned out pathetically, why did he never let you experience it raw before? It's addictive.

He feels crazy good. You can feel every ridge and curve. Everything hits the right spot. "Oh my god," you gripped onto his chest. "Oh my god," you screamed out in glee. The build up is threatening to snap, and you love how it's feels right before it does. "Thats it, my love. Let it out," he whispered sweetly to you. Snap. And you go falling down onto him.

~~~

He begged you not to go, but you weren't going to stand up Hyunjin. You couldn't... At least not without an explanation. You walked over to the park, he was no where to be found. Your phone began to ring, unknown caller. You answered it, "hello?" There was a sudden burst of laughter, a girl. "Oh y/n. Did you really think he was gonna go? You're quite stupid to think that." You recognized the voice, Lee knows ex. "He ditched me?" There was a noise of scramble on the other side. "Hello y/n." Hyunjin. You gritted your teeth. "I like your dress, very revealing. Did you go shopping for me?" You looked around and saw no one, suddenly you felt cold and began to walk out of the park.

"Why are you doing this?" He laughed softly to himself. "It's payback, you betrayed me by getting with Lee know." Anger began to pelt up inside you, "I never betrayed you. You betrayed me." He laughed once again. "But something smells fishy doesn't it? I think it's you." Just then you turned when a loud car pasted by, the window was down. Splash. You were hit with a bucketload of water. You gasped as you fell to the ground from the weight. You screamed when you saw a fish had been through with it. You didn't know what to do, you ran.

Home. You don't know where that is. All you knew was him. You needed him. His comfort. His words. You needed to go to him.

~~~

You knocked on his door repeatedly and rang the doorbell. Clutching your soaked body and sobbing out. The door swung open fast, when his eyes landed on you. He had a look who could kill. "Who did this to you?" You didn't want to answer. You knew he would go after him and that's the last thing you wanted. "It's none of your business." You said calmly. "You're my fucking business. What happened?" He spit out his words and tears flowed down your cheeks once again. "I'm gonna kill him." He stormed past you but you clutched onto his arm. "Please don't leave me. I need you here."

His gaze softened and immediately took you into his arms. "I'm not gonna leave you, I swear." You smelled, really bad. But he didn't care. He held you for so long. You wish he would never let go. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up." He led you inside and into his bathroom. He lives alone. You remember that, no siblings, parents gone. It must be awfully lonely. He sat you down on the toilet lid while he turned on the water for a bath. Putting bubbles in it. You laughed amused to yourself, he has bubbles for himself?

He looked confused at you, "feeling better?" Your face fell sullen again. "Get undressed," he said and pulled you off the seat. You pulled the dress off and the stockings. He picked them up and waited for you to take off the rest. You turned away from him and took off your underwear. You got into the water and sat down. He left with your clothes and came back with his own, a hoodie and some shorts. Sigh, no underwear. He was respectful when he came over to you, only looked at your face. Nothing else. He scrubbed you clean and gently rubbed shampoo into your hair.

You could've done it yourself but he insisted. He said he felt bad for letting you go. For letting them get to you. "I'm sorry this happened y/n." At least one person actually cares for you. He left so you can dry yourself and get dressed. After you did, you walked into his living room. Wandering around his place and found him in the kitchen. He had a pan of butter grilling, while he was cutting some freshly washed asparagus. "Hey, hope you like steak,' he said as you walked to his side. There was a plate of seasoned meat sitting next to the cutting board. "You're the whole package, huh. Everything a girl would hope for." He laughed softly, "hope she comes soon."

~~~

You had slept at his place that night, after having a full tummy and a movie night on his couch. You got to talking. "Tell me a lie that you've told yourself all your life." He asked while putting an arm on the couch behind your back. You smile softly, "that we can't be friends. I should've given you a chance a long time ago." You laid your head against his arm, your body still facing him. "So you don't hate me anymore?" You didn't want to admit it so you just smiled and looked down.

"Say you hate me, y/n." You glared at him, challenge in your eyes. "Say it," he curved his head and gave you a stern look. You tried to lose your smile but laughed when you said, "I hate you." His tone was playful. "Say it like you mean it." A smile crept up on your lips, "I can't."

You two were silent now. "I don't hate you Lee know. I guess your charm has finally won me over." He pulled your body close to his, "good. We can finally be friends now, best friends." Your eyes began to drop, heavy with sleep, "Yeah, I would like that." You fell asleep. And woke up in his bed.

"Good morning sleepy head," he said sitting up. You stretched out, looking down at his hoodie. Forgetting that you had it. "What time is it?" You mumbled and rubbed your eyes. "Time to wake up," he said while grabbing his phone. "Look at this," he flashed a photo up at you, a picture of you lying on his chest. "Delete it," he shook his head. "It's my new wallpaper." You tackled him, attempting to snatch the phone out of his hand. You huffed once he shoved it into his bedside drawer. "Come here," he whispered and motioned to his lap. He pulled you over, and you laid onto him, straddling on him.

You set your head between the cradle of his neck and shoulder. Your arms resting around his neck. This feels nice. Comforting. "Thank you," you grazed your fingertips against his arms. His arms wrapped around your waist. "For what?" His chest flowed up and down, "for being here, with me." He hummed and traced his hand up your spine. "You're being so sweet all of a sudden." Your head slowly raised and your thumb lined his lips, "I'm just happy I have you." He looked at you suspiciously, "you want something don't you?"

Your eyes snapped up at him and he tilted his head in confusion. You smiled, he caught you, "feel like exploring?" He sighed and tried to look annoyed. He looked up at you with a soft look and stroked your cheek, "I didn't think you would want to do anything.. Aren't you tired?" You shook your head, you leaned forward to his neck. Removed his hands from your cheek and sprinkled kisses. He pulled back and you frowned, "I want you to do what I did for you the other day.. the stuff with my mouth?" His tongue rolled inside, along his cheek. He cheekily smiled, "You want me to do that to you?" You nodded your head and pouted.

"Aww, anything for you," he rolled you over onto your back. He pressed his lips against yours softly, igniting you. You pulled him to stay, gripping his sleeves. You moaned against his lips once you felt his hand pulling at your shorts. "I like seeing you in my clothes," he whispered against your lips. "I like being in them," you teased him back, "but I'd rather not have any on with you." He tilted his head once again in surprise. You took the opportunity to scatter your mouth against his neck. This time he cooperated. "You're becoming more and more like me."

You smiled against his neck and began to suck against the sensitive skin. He pulled away after a few seconds, he looked down at you, "oh so when you do it, it's okay?" You shrugged your shoulders, "you can do it to me if you want." He immediately got to action. He pressed his lips to your neck, you felt yourself flush. He sucking harshly and you winced softly, he kissed down your collarbones and lifted your shirt. Sucking on your breasts, it seemed it was letters of some sort.

He finally stopped after a while, he kissed your lips. "Ready?" You smiled and he crawled down your body. Your hands laid on your chest comfortably. Once his wet lips pressed against your inner thigh, you gasped. You almost closed your thighs in surprise. "Just relax for me, baby." You did and released the tension. He softly laid your legs onto his back. You could feel his hot breath on your core and it was driving you crazy. Finally, he set his lips onto you. Your hands crashed into his hair.

He kissed your clit softly causing your body to jolt. His eyes looked up at you, dark and sparkling. He looks perfect like this. You grab your phone from the bedside table, he put it there to you. A capture an array of pictures of him, "do I look pretty?" He asks and you nod your head. His tongue makes its way and pushes into you. The pressure building in your stomach. You set the phone down beside you. He attacked your clit again, sucking and kissing while his fingers entered inside you. It was too much, your body enjoyed it too much. You let go. Cracked.

You felt light headed, minutes, hours seemed to pass by in a second. "Holy shit, are you okay?" You nodded your head and a warm presence kissed your cheek. You cooled down and hugged his body close to yours. "Feel like going out tonight?" He asked softly, looking into your eyes lovingly. "Yeah, but I want more." You said as you pulled the covers over you two.

~

"I have nothing to wear!" You cried out in your closet. "You have plenty of clothes, you just went shopping." You searched in the pile of clothes on your floor, "I don't know if I want to wear a skirt or a dress or pants." He sighed heavily, "it's gonna rain tonight." You frowned and picked up a pair of pants, better to be comfy than cold. "I'll would wear a revealing top to better the outfit. But someone decided to leave hickeys that say MINE on me." You pulled out a shirt and showed him it. He crossed his arms, "wear what you want. I can fight."

You hit him with the shirt, "there will be no fighting tonight. I want just want to chill and enjoy a beer." You pull the clothes on quickly and turn to him, shooting him a look that says 'how do I took?' "You look beautiful," he cringes immediately after the compliment leaves his lips and you giggle to yourself. "Wow, can't say anything nice without cringing."

~

The party was pretty boring. No fights. No arguments. Just what you wanted. Just a night to chill with some friends and your brother. Chan questioned you about where you were, "you were gone the whole night." You pushed him away, "like you're not gone for days at a time. I had a rough night and crashed at a friend's." He seemed to believe you and moved on. It was technically true. Lee know is your friend.. friend with benefits? Fuck buddy? Best friend? One of those.

You walked over to a group where Lee know was chatting with his buddies. They tried to tease him by lifting up his shirt but he quickly dodged their attempts. "Come on guys. You know he doesn't like anyone touching or seeing his scar," Chan scolded. Your eyes darted to Lee know. He doesn't? But he let you, he didn't care when you saw him, saw his scar. When you traced your fingers along it. "Whatever, I need a drink." He walked away from the group and he grazed along your arm for you to follow. You did, and immediately questioned him, "I didn't know you didn't like when people touch you there." He didn't answer for a while. "I don't." You whispered softly to him as he grabbed a cup. "But you let me."

"Isn't it obvious y/n?" He took a big gulp out of his cup, chugging it down. "What is?" He looked into your eyes, searching for something, something that you should already know the answer to. "Never mind," he shook his head off and began pouring himself another drink. "No, what? Tell me." You snatched the cup out of his hands and he almost pouted. He leaned against the table, "I'd only let you because... I have a soft spot for you, I think you know the reason why." You blinked heavily, "but I want you to tell me, not for me to just guess." You looked down at the beer in your hands and took a small sip, it's bitter.

"I'll tell you later," he grabbed the cup back from you and took a sip. "You either tell me now or never." You walked away from him, he followed behind and you went outside. To have an actual private conversation. Its raining. You stopped at the end of the driveway, next to your brother's car, and awaited his answer. His hands were in his pockets and he stared at the ground. Water dripping down his hair and body naughtily. "So?" He looked up and shook his head, you sighed heavily. "God, you're such a coward." He furrows his brows, "excuse me?"

"You're a fucking coward. You talk all this nonsense saying you're sure about yourself and you're really not. You're pathetic." He raised his tone, "fine you really want to know?" You stood, wet, the question was seeping into your skin.

"I love you y/n."

You blinked a thousand times again. You stepped back and shook your head in disbelief. Disappointment. You both agreed that your relationship wouldn't go past any feelings. "Is that so hard to believe?" He said since you weren't saying anything. "I thought we agreed no strings attached, that this would never turn into something." He groaned and his hands flew up into his face, rubbing against it crazily. "How could you have not known, y/n? All these years I've waited for you, tried to get your attention just so you would look at me, like me!" You swallowed down a build up in your throat, feeling a heavy feeling. "It's you, y/n. It's always been you. Why can't you see it?"

"I don't chase girls, I never have. I never wanted to. But I'm chasing you." You fist your hands into a ball. He tries to approach you but you push him away. "Don't push me away," he pleads. "I'd like to go home now." You said bluntly. His eyes saddened, glassy with tears. You walked to his car, the rain was pouring down even harder. You turned angrily at him. "Why? Why now? Why did you never tell me this!" He shakes his head, "I didn't know how to say it." He paused. "But it's true, I love you y/n. And I never want to stop saying it." Tears begin to mix with the rain pouring down your cheeks. "I have loved you ever since I have known you."

"You're fucked up, you're fucking everything up!" He nodded his head and walked in a different direction, past you. You chased after him. "Don't walk away when I'm talking to you." He stopped next to his car, "what is there to talk about? I know you don't like me." The feeling in your chest was heavy, you know what you have to do. What to say. You find the words in your heart, you know what you feel for him. "I love you." He stops. "You're actually stupid if you don't realize how much I love you," you add and smile.

You look into his eyes, his mesmerizing eyes. "But I have to make sure, that you really do love me-" "yes." He cuts you off so sure of himself, like it's as easy as breathing. "Yes, I love you y/n," he runs up to you and involves you into a kiss. It's sweet and soft, butter against your lips. "There's never gonna be anyone but you." You smile, a smile so big and genuine, you feel as if you're floating. It dawns on you, "my brother is going to kill me when he finds out." He laughs against your lips, "don't worry about that."

~~~~~~~~

[unlimitedbutchworks]

sometimes i get so frustrated about how many transmisogynistic users get reblogged despite their reliable-to-the-point-of-predictability episodes of vitriolic hostility against transfems or absolute lack of care in spreading hearsay about us that i think of making a big blocklist or callout, but its a foolish idea because callouts are only for making a spectacle and Other of someone in order to reinforce norms in the in group. transmisogyny callouts never spread to a large audience for this reason; as a rhetorical tool, they are not for enacting justice.

and even if they could, i stop myself, because they're a stupid way of trying to stop bigotry in the first place. we should be striving to be able to recognize bigoted rhetoric and challenge it ourselves, to stand with the marginalized in our communities, rather than making the victims have to point out The Bad Ones over and over since you can't see. and clearly, you can't see! because i cant hardly scroll this website and see an acquaintance reblog a post without recognizing op as either an open transmisogynistic themself, or a useful idiot for transmisogynists and spreading their callouts. (many of which included private pictures and nudes for "evidence" towards their evil kinks; to make this clear, revenge porn with a coat of progressive paint.)

but time and time again, nobody sees the problem when it happens to trans women. its all a pretense to voice preconceptions of disgust to trans women. they dont really believe that making shitty posts is equivalent to actual sexual abuse, just like they dont actually believe that wearing thigh highs is pedophile-coded, its all just excuses to hate trans women like they want to. for them, its just finding excuses to put in the keywords that turn peoples brains off and play into their bias. oh, sure, i cyberstalked literal years into her private nsfw blog to dig up that nude and match it with a selfie from her main and i put both in the callout im spreading around, but why would that be bad? dont you know she calls her girlfriend mommy in private sometimes? look, i did mental gymnastics to equate this consensual roleplay to real world harm, its totally pedo-incest coded! look, i said shes into raceplay apropos of nothing just to get people pissed at her, but you're not gonna check, right? why would spreading that and her nudes- sorry i mean evidence of her crimes to more strangers and exposing her to transphobes be bad? how can it be sexual harassment when the woman person really really deserves it i promise?

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

yooooo!!! you’re my favorite ethan winters artist i just wanna say that first and foremost, thank you for the wholesome content of my comfort character and father figure 🥹🫶

i’m really curious bc i feel like i see a lot of people against mithan (not me personally, i’m p neutral on them!) but i’m curious to know all your thoughts on them! thoughts on their canon relationship, their fanon portrayal, the backlash against them/mia accusations, and your headcanons? i’m just really interested!!! hopefully that’s not weird :”)

have a good day!! sparkle on!!! ✨💖

i heart mithan... i think that they can be so cute...

i personally hc them t4t and i like to think that the dated in highschool before they both had fully transitioned

mia likes to bake and ethan likes to scrap book and he always likes to take pictures of mias cakes/ baked goods and has a album for them 😭

i am a multishipper so i draw a lot of ethan ships so my girl is left out sometimes and im sorry mia 😔

i actually really like their relationship, its a really complex dynamic that i like to talk about with my friends

i think the issue is that when talking about mithan or mia in general, theres just SO MUCH misinformation that its honestly a pain the butt to talk about

people still think that she was responsible for the creation of eveline, people still think that she experimented on eveline, people still use examples of her attacking ethan as if she did it on her own will instead of being mind controlled

in reality she was just someone who oversaw the transportation of evie. im not excusing her or anything because obviously she knew what she was doing, but people really try to accuse her of doing something she didnt and it bothers me alot lol

the problem with the fandom is that people either try to water her down to girlboss who did nothing wrong and fail to acknowledge the complexity/ moral grayness of her character and the other side is misogynists 😭😭😭😭

its hard to talk about her without people either going "stop trying to villainize her and make her look bad!" or people ACTUALLY villainizing her and acting like heisenberg would have treated him better 😭😭

mithan is such a sad relationship because they loved each other so much and that ended up being the reason their relationship fell apart (sort of... its not like the broke up... ethan kinda just straight up died)

i get a lot a trouble for saying this, but mia is a selfish person.

its not a bad thing! well i mean it is but it doesnt make her some evil witch who is somehow worse than the guy how made a werewolf american ninja warrior. its just a major character flaw she has! which is good! mia being a flawed person who makes mistakes and morally gray decisions make her a more interesting person!

she is selfish in the way that she wants to keep her family with her no matter the cost. even if it means lying to ethan about her job so that he wont think different of her. here is a interrogation from the re7 DLC, which is easy to miss!

she isnt necessarily trying to apologize for the things she has done, she is more of a, "u wont need to forgive me in the first place if we just forget it all and move on"

she doesn't try to redeem herself for what she has done, she tries to move on and return to the normal life that she wants so bad. which is fine! everyone copes a different way and she has to right to move on from her trauma. the problem that lies in this is that she has a shared trauma with ethan who still has no idea what went on in dulvey and still effects him till the present (he is mold! this is a important thing to know! most people would want to know if they were a walking corpse)

she played a direct part in what happened in dulvey, and im not referring to the email, she did not send that. she never wanted ethan to come in the first place. she tried her best to send a video to him, begging him to forget about her because she wanted to protect him, BUT it didnt send.

he got involved because she was involved. its honestly a series of really really unfortunate events.

THOUGH! she did know what she was getting into. im tired of seeing the narrative that mia was innocent and didnt know what was going on or was simply a bystander. she knew what she was doing, she knew eveline was a bioweapon, she knew eveline was a child. she used a MACHINE GUN! she knows how to use weapons and was obviously trained for it.

she tried her best to keep everybody out of the mess, ex: warning the bakers not to take them in, warning ethan not to find her, sacrificing herself for ethan in the later half of re7

but again, those are the consequences of HER actions

her consequences just happen to get really big and end up hitting ethan on the head like a metal sheet 😭

their relationship is really so interesting, it makes me really sad to think about sometimes 😭they both went through something that nobody else would ever understand, in the end they really only have each other. they get moved to an entire different country and the dulvey incident gets covered up with a "gas leak"

its really tragic because their marriage definitely had some flaws and bumps. and i know im repeating myself but its because people always take this in the worst way possible but just because i say their relationship was rocky doesnt mean im saying they dont love each other!!! thats the entire basis of mias character!! saying she doesnt love ethan would destroy her entire character!

you can see in the re8 DLC how fondly ethan talks about mia! he loves her so much, though im not sure if his comments in the DLC are him narrating current (post re8) or his thoughts before everything went down and he died (pre re8)

everything mia did was because she LOVED ethan. she would never do anything to intentionally hurt him, she is not a cruel person. she hides the truth of her job from ethan pre re7 because she loves him and doesnt want her job to drive them apart. she CONTINUES to refuse to tell ethan the truth post re7 because she wants to move on a live a happy normal life with him and knows something like her being directly associated with the connections would probably cause (more) problems. she refuses to tell ethan that he is mold because again, hard to live a happy marriage with your husband after you tell him hes a bioweapon.

obviously i dont think it was right that she did this, thats what makes her selfish! she did it for herself! she did it for her family! she thought it would work out, she thought that they could move on and be happy together.

the issue is that ethan didnt want to forget. he wanted to know what happened, he wanted to know the part mia played, he wanted answers! which is reasonable! he knows to some extent that mia was partially responsible for his involvement and he was always suspcious that mia was lying to him about her job which is implied when mia says "you were right, i did lie to you"

she doesnt learn, she doesnt stop lying, her lies get bigger and worse and it sucks yeah but it makes her so interesting!!! she keeps doing stupid things under the idea that this is whats best for her and her family, that if she hides this everything will work out and it will be for the better but its not!

just because telling your husband hes dead and a bioweapon is a hard subject to bring up doesnt mean you DONT bring it up. people shouldnt use that as a reason to excuse mia 😭, its a very bad excuse and honestly highlights how horrible their communication skills were. you cant just not tell your husband that he is actually infected with the mold and not tell him for the tree years between post re7 and pre re8.

im not saying these things to put mia down, or try and villanize her. these are all just actual things her character does! she isnt evil, but she isnt a knight in shining armor either. we need to be able to have talks about complex characters without crying everytime someone points out a flaw. characters have flaws! and mia just happens to have a lot of them!

im not mad at her, i dont dislike her because i think this way of her. shes a fictional character! you can like characters that are morally gray, or villains that drink blood and make corpse soldiers. they are fictional! pointing out the flaws of a character does not mean i dont like them.

i wouldnt call her "the real villain of re8" but i wouldnt treat her like a damsel in distress either. she is a competent person, she knows what shes doing, she has her reasons for doing them. she made bad descions with good intentions behind them! they can coexist and we should let them!

i like mithan! its a complex relationship because they both love each other so much but hurt each other in the process

talking about them is just a pain in the butt because talking about mia is a pain in the butt lol

i really hate how she keeps getting sidelined, its super frustrating to see mia get put in a cage in every game 😭

its even more frustrating that mia straight up just disappears???? in the shadows of rose DLC... like she just stops taking care of rose and theres nothing said about it. no reason or explanation. i dont think mia would ever ditch rosemary because she didnt care about her, but we probably will never know because capcom sucks at writing and they probably forgot the mia ever even existed.

all in all, i think the fandom is really just full of misinformation which make people either think mia is some horrible evil person, or its full of people who think that saying mia messed up is the equivalent of comparing her to wesker lol.

i really love mia, shes a incredibly fun and complex character, its just hard to enjoy her sometimes with the people in the fandom haha.

also ive got no idea what u meant by "the backlash against them/mia accusations" so sorry if i didnt answer that!

thank u for the ask! sorry for the long response!

[hereforthehitsbaby]

Peeper | Cooper Adams/Abbott x F!Reader

Synopsis: Getting the Halloween season started early with back to back parties was enough to drain you – tucker you out in a heartbeat. But Cooper used it as an excuse to see you, really see you.

Warnings: Dark!Cooper, Mentions of Stalking, Perv!Cooper, Cooper Being a Peeping Tom, Male Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Mentions of Childhood Abuse, Mentions of Fire, Mentions of a Hostage Situation, Mentions of Being Held Hostage, Choking

Rating: M

Word Count: 5.5k

Author’s Note: The SWAT outfit brought this on. You’re welcome in advance. This is second person POV from Cooper’s perspective; I wanted to try something a bit different so I hope you enjoy!  

If you would like to be tagged for my fics, please fill this out

The darkness of night is the perfect way to hatch plans, the perfect way of preying on those who you find interest in. Never does it have to be in a malicious way. No, never does it have to be evil. It can be kind and clean, courteous and courageous, just depending on the context of the situation. Sometimes the darkness can hide a lot of bad things, shroud them in a cloud of abandon so evil can take over. They can run around on short legs, running here and there are supersonic speeds – to which no one can detect a thing. It’s brilliant in a way how evil can push itself through anyone – or anyone for that matter. How it can turn someone so delicate and perfect, into a monster overnight. But not for him, no, the evil didn’t burn itself into him from birth. He was a product of evil, a product of malice, a product of hate. He is the prodigal son of evil, he’s its perfect child.

To hide that part of himself away everyday ate at him, gnawing on his bones and flesh like a disease. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for him to lash out – surely anyone would from stressful work conditions to life not going the way it was planned out to be. Yet no one can justify it, no one can see that part of him, the truest part of his darkened soul. It’s a mystery, a character for that matter. Though he doesn’t see it that way. He sees it as an extension of his rage, his tumultuous upbringing and constant bullying – it is a part of his personality he can switch off with just the right coaxing. Like any type of characteristic, it isn’t long before others start to notice. Not in the way that you expect, but in a duller manner. Here and there things; His cleanliness, how he doesn’t like to leave his fingerprints anywhere, the order he needs things arranged or how he copes with uncertainty. They never raised red flags – but keen eyes took notice of his particular nature. If only they knew beneath the surface, a killer was in their midst.

Cooper Adams loves to save lives, that is a given. Fire chief for the Philadelphia Fire Department for ten years, in the business for a total of seventeen. This is what he was meant to do, what he was meant to be at the end of the day. He is the solace for those who are suffering, he is the salvation to those who are stuck. He can play God and be rewarded for it – how sweet is that? But to Cooper it isn’t about playing God or being the one who is in control, it’s more than that. It’s being who everyone relies on for stressful situations, the one who knows their way out of any type of deal. It’s prevalent in his eyes when he speaks, the passion he has for his job, his family – everything in his life really. A wholesome, well-rounded American individual; He is the picture-perfect example of masculinity. He’s the picture-perfect example of a psychopath.

Too much anger and rage was directed towards him as a child, and it was not beneficial for a growing brain. Rejection at a young age can cause fear; Fear of intimacy, fear of expression, always needing to people please to get someone to like you. Cooper went through that, way too much to admit. Always fighting to have his mother’s love, which he learned too early that would always come in the form of a hand across his face. His tears were tears of love, according to his mother. Every hit that was administered by her own hands, showed just how much she loved her son. Cooper couldn’t tell the difference until he got older – until she passed away. Alas, he felt free to be himself, instead of being her disappointment.

He never wanted to get into this line of work, other work per say. Like all others, the opportunity presented itself like any other day. A fresh-faced twenty-five-year-old who wanted to make a difference in the world after the tragedies the world faced. He wanted to be a household name, one where anyone in town could say and smiles would erupt. He would always be their hero, their martyr when the flames would not extinguish. If it meant saving everyone, he was always the first on the line. That was until his first ever fire, when he realized the world no longer had a need for his kindness – but his brutality. A seven-alarm fire at Aramark Tower in Center City was supposed to change his life forever, in which it did but not for the right reason. Cooper would’ve never described himself as a violent person, but this day changed everything.

On the twelfth floor sat the culprit for the fire, a worker who was holding a whole room hostage. Some of his very own firefighters were under this man’s unsteady hand. The gun was shaking uncontrollably in the man’s hand as he pointed it towards Cooper’s chest – the smoke slowly growing thicker from the floors above. The haze was starting to set in, and the man couldn’t stop coughing. At the moment he turned Cooper pressed the man’s front against the adjacent wall – letting all of the hostages out, the workers fleeing as the next group of firefighters came up. His own department, his flesh and blood. He was grateful they were there. But not from his firehouse, those ones fled with the chaos. Instead the firefighters from across down stared at him with amused looks, surely enough impressed that a young man like Cooper was holding his own against some sociopath. Cooper was wrong though, that is when he started to notice the evil within. Its bloodied fingers sinking into his flesh like razor wire, slicing and dicing his insides with every scale it climbed. He could feel it climbing up the column of his spine, sinking its meaty fingers through his spinal discs. “Good luck finding your way out, rookie.” Someone yelled at him as they slammed the door shut, barricading him in the inside.

All hell broke loose in that moment, that gnawing sensation he had when he was a child coming back into his adulthood – expect he couldn’t push it down anymore. Clawing at his own throat, he released a guttural scream of agony as the smoke filled the room – dropping to his hands and knees with animalistic movements. “We’re just kidding, bud. Welcome to the-“ Cooper didn’t recognize the voices, he didn’t understand who it was. The man he once held against the wall was cowering in the corner, rocking back and forth with the gun pressed into his palm. He stared at Cooper like he wasn’t human, but a creature. All Cooper could see was red, filling his vision, covering his mask to the point where he could not see. He could feel it though, his body moving languidly like he was swimming – graceful, intricate, serene. He was swimming out in Myrtle Beach like when he was a kid, feeling the crisp summer sun scorch him. But boy was it worth it, it felt safe again – knowing nothing could hurt him.

As if to wipe the sunscreen off of his forehead, Cooper brought his hand around his mask to clear off the water from it. Though it wasn’t water, and he was not swimming in the ocean. Instead in front of Cooper laid six bodies, cut into pieces. Blood coated his mask, his gear, his soul. Everything was red; The white walls coated in heroic blood of those firefighters. The man who held everyone hostage, a gunshot wound to the temple. Cooper’s eyes flared at the sight, chest heaving as the axe shook within his hand. The monster he always suppressed, let feed on his trauma and rejection as a child, finally found its place within his world – within his life. It was clear the fire was starting to burn closer to his floor when the sprinkles went off, a showering of clear and red flowing down the walls. The dark carpet soaked with the blood of the victims, and the chaos of his dissociation.

Cooper walked neatly over to the deceased man and laid the axe next to him, letting the sprinkles above soak his gear until no red stood. No one saw him go up to this floor, he never commed in like he was supposed to. No one would know it was him; The cameras are long gone. “Always the monster, Cooper. You will never outrun your evil, son.” His mom’s tender voice swept into his brain, causing him to tear up – for the amount he loathed that woman, he still missed her voice. Oxygen was starting to run low in his tank, but he knew he needed to get out. Instead of staying on the twelfth floor, Cooper managed to make his way down to the sixth, panting, out of breath, and soaked. “Adams! Where the fuck were you!?” His fire chief at the time yelled, dragging Cooper out of the doorway and into the conference room for a moment. “S-Sixteenth fl-floor. P-people s-screaming, d-d-dead.” Cooper managed to let out before he collapsed, the hard linoleum whacking against his head. Everything went dark so quick, but for the first time in his life – he felt justified.

Cooper gasps as he hears your voice coming from outside of his car, his hands shaking at the recounting of his trauma. Cooper hated waiting around, letting his mind wander, because every time it always brought him back to his first kills. The first ever lives he took, before The Butcher was his name. In a way he felt for those firefighters, knowing how the aftermath made him look to be an almost casualty of The Ripper. The narrative he chose for the last seventeen years has worked in his favor, and he would keep it that way. But alas, it eats at him just like that little demon did. But you, you were what he needed – you were his solace. You kept him sane and didn’t even know who he was. It was perfect. All Cooper could do now was slowly break you, and you’d never even know.

As you walked past Cooper’s black suburban, you pulled the nurse’s cap off of your head – thinking it appropriate to be a nurse for your first of many Halloween parties. The outfit complimented your body so well; Cooper loved watching how it hugged you in all the right places, showing off his favorite parts of you. He has seen you look at him so many times, like you fully saw him rather than it being through him. You made him feel alive, feel sane in such a cruel world. How could he ever thank you for that? Bringing himself back to reality as you walked to your front door, Cooper swallowed down the panic ready to break free from his throat, closing his eyes to ground himself. All this waiting, contemplation, it was all for you. All these months, silently pining over you, he knew his time would come soon. Your time will come soon. He wasn’t going to let this will they won’t they play out anymore. This wasn’t going to be like one of the books you liked to read – it was going to be better.

Thankfully with everyone in their Halloween costumes making their way back home, Cooper could easily blend in with the rest of the crowd. His costume was unconventional – but accurate, and cool. He managed to nab one of the Philadelphia SWAT tactical gear a while ago. Never did he think it would be of use, but here he is. It left him looking inconspicuous, blending in with all of his surroundings. When the streetlights would shut off at midnight, he didn’t need to worry about getting caught or even being seen. He could go full incognito and not have to worry – because at the end of the day no one in the neighborhood watched. They never looked out for each other or mentioned when things felt off. They were complacent in their day to day, keeping their lives separate from everyone else. That’s what Cooper loved the most about your neighborhood – no one would be suspicious of him, or know he was there. Seven-foot-tall fencing covered your property; Around the sides and back into the woods. It was private, spacious, and perfect for you. He was happy you took his advice and haggled the price. Though it was only left as a sticky note on your work desk – he convinced you that you wrote it. Cooper hated gaslighting you but, it was the only way for you to get that home. He always felt guilty but, it worked out the way it needed to.

The kitchen light came on in the front of your house, your nurse costume slowly being shed away from the uncomfortable feeling of it. Cooper felt his knuckles tighten around the steering wheel as he watched you, finding his perfect moment to slip out. Your back was pressed against the kitchen counter, looking out into the interior of your home versus outside. A gaggle of college girls dressed as nuns wandered by, causing Cooper to see his opening. Slipping out of his suburban, he put on the SWAT helmet, buckling it right under his chin as he kept his eyes forward, humming to himself to keep him sane. A small smile was present on his lips as the girls stopped for a moment, checking their map location to see if the party was the right way. None of them even acknowledged him as he walked past, keeping his eyes set on your home instead. Coming from the opposite way was a few frat guys dressed as priests, causing Cooper to roll his eyes at the on-the-nose couple outfits. The squeals the girls let out at the guys made his hair stand on end, reminding him too much of the Lady Raven concert last October. The last time he saw Riley, Logan…the last time he could be a dad.

Thinking about his kids made him grow tense, worried – it sucked being away from them, but this was for the best, for now. It wasn’t like he didn’t know how they were doing in school, he kept tabs from miles away. Cooper never wanted to stop being a dad, and he wasn’t going to start that anytime soon. Bringing his phone out of his vest pocket, he brought it up to his ear, mimicking a phone call as he rounded the fence you had up, standing on the left-hand side as he walked into your yard. Silently he thanked you for never replacing your camera out back, or the motion lights for that matter. Having it be this easy for him was a dream come true, plus with your neighbors away – others unable to see him creeping around back, there was no way he wasn’t going to see you now. He tucked his phone away into his pocket once more as your back porch came into view, the stairs on the left side flush to the door. That is when Cooper smirked to himself, chuckling low into the night – seeing the one thing you forgot to do, lock the back door.

In fact, it wasn’t even closed but cracked open the tiniest amount. As a former fire chief, he needed to know these things; If a seal was loose or not flush enough against the grain, it could invite oxygen in, make the fire rage on harder if the door were to be kicked in. Thankfully no fires would be breaking out at your place, not when he made sure they wouldn’t. That itch inside of him was starting to blister, his pupils dilating with the thought of creeping through your home. Cooper was so dead set on watching you tonight through your windows, that he didn’t even consider the option of going inside. With all the clunky gear on though – he was hesitant. He didn’t let that stop him from what he really wanted; You. As his back was crouched under your living room window, he used the edge of the flashlight on his belt to push your door open, the instant smell of nutmeg and cinnamon flooding his senses.

With every inch the door started to open, he grew cautious, knowing at any point he could push it open completely and be met with you. He didn’t think you’d run and tell anyone, that was a fact he was certain of. But he didn’t necessarily know if you’d fight back. A feisty little thing like you wouldn’t surprise him, everyone has their own demons they deal with. To Cooper, more or less he didn’t want to ruin the clean research he has done on you over the last year. When he saw you after escaping police custody that night, he knew you’d turn everything around for him. A giver, a lover, an angel on this Earth – you brought joy wherever you walked, and didn’t tell a soul about your own struggles. He wanted to take that away from you, claim your suffering so you could be happy. He would take everything away from you if it meant you would be happy, safe, and serene in your own life. He didn’t want you to know pain – only joy.

As the back door swung open enough to slide his body through, Cooper stood fully erect. The SWAT gear was a bit much trying to push through the gap, causing a creak to sound. Standing still half in and half out, Cooper pushed through the last bit with a grimace, hoping you didn’t dare to come around that corner. With the layout of your home, as soon as he entered through the back door, he was met with the foyer; Winter boots, coats, and scarves hung from the hook on the wall – the warm light flooding through his body. It caused him to feel nostalgic, those times in the late 80’s to early 90’s growing up; Halloween was such a magical time, full of bright colors and warm flavors, things were good – he could be a good boy if it meant the beatings would stop. “Fuck,” a low whimper came from the opposite side of the wall, causing Cooper to stop in his tracks. He was ever-so-slowly closing the back door, making sure no creaks or groans happened as it was shut, clicking over the lever lock, as well as the two deadbolts. The curtain pulled flush to the glass; No one would see a thing.

Another whimper flowed effortlessly through the air, circling around Cooper in whisps of gold and auburn. He felt his cheeks heating at the anticipation, his toes tingling with excitement. Placing a booted foot across the fresh carpet leading to the living room, Cooper let his head peak out from where he was standing, extending out the smallest of bits to catch a glimpse of you. What he had failed to realize was the position of the living room to the foyer; You could not see him from your position but, he could see you. The couch was pushed under the bay window in the living room, a plethora of plants sat in the sills spot. The arm of the couch was a few inches away from the wall to which he was creeping around, giving him the most beautiful picture he has ever seen. It crossed his mind for a brief moment to take a photo of you like this, but he did not want to break the image set forth. He was enraptured by you, a beautiful creature in a dull world.

On the couch you laid flat, one leg tossed up around the back of the couch whilst the other fell open against the coffee table. Your platform heels were still on your feet; The clean plastic leather heavy contrast with the red bottoms. The nurse’s dress you had on earlier for a costume was pulled up and pushed down around your midsection, baring your breasts for all to see. All the while your left-hand was delicately placed between your thighs, running up and down your slit with a squelch. Your right hand was cupping your breast, toying with your nipple, your entire body shivering from the feeling. “Yes,” breathlessly you moan into the open air, grinding your hips against your hand. The second the pads of your fingers make contact with your clit, you knew you were a goner. The softness of your fingers contrasting with the warmth of your cunt caused you to slip into your own mind, not aware at all of your surroundings; You liked it that way.

Cooper on the other hand couldn’t get enough of you, trying so hard to suppress a moan he threatened to let out. His cock jolted at the moans you were letting out, throbbing harshly behind his black jeans. All it would take is undoing his belt buckle the slightest of bits to relieve some of the pressure, and he couldn’t handle it anymore. Cooper’s eyes never left your face as he peered down at you, his tall stature making everything you were doing abundantly clear. Sneaking around the corner enough to hide his body from you, Cooper undid his belt as quietly as he could, tucking the buckle into his pocket to get it out of the way. A quick flick of his thumb caused his jeans to unbutton, and the zipper to fall down easily. A wave of cold sweats broke out around his body as his skin was to the open air, the breeze cutting through his black briefs.

His gloved hand slid down the front of his briefs, running the padded side down his erect cock. The friction was a delicious burn at first, but it was not going to hold him over. Snaking his fingers between his teeth, Cooper ripped the glove off as fast as he could, shoving his hand back into his underwear and releasing himself. When the heated, erect flesh of his cock met the cool air of your home, he whimpered. Not something he would ever consider himself to do but, you made him weak in the best way possible. His bare thumb pressed against the base of his cock, trying to steady himself. A small bead of cum was pooled at the head, glistening against the firelight. Hearing your scandalizing moans set Cooper on edge, causing him to twitch due to your sweet mewls. He knew he wasn’t going to last very long, a year without any type of contact with another person would do that. Cooper wrapped his thick fingers around the underside of his cock, squeezing in slow increments to get used to the feel again.

He was burning from the inside out, his body up in flames as he watched you – while touching himself. Slowly he slid his meaty hand up the full length of his shaft, pulsating his hand in short doses; He could feel his eyes rolling back at the relief. He never found pleasure in pleasuring himself – it felt like too much work when he could make someone else feel good with him. As his eyes laid upon you sprawled out, pleasuring yourself for anyone to see, he could understand why the self-indulgence of masturbating was intoxicating, why many loved it. For him he felt the tension of the last year start to flow away; Each stroke of his strong hand sent a cascade of pleasure down his spine. He could find himself drowning in it all if he wasn’t careful, but the recklessness in him wanted to paint your face.

Peering down at your half naked form, Cooper gained a steady pace on his cock, finding the right rhythm that worked for him. In tandem with the tight circles of your fingers, he found it erotic that the same ministrations were giving him pleasure as they were you. It felt like you two were connected, not physically but on another level. He could feel his cock stiffening at the thought, his tip a violent shade of purple from all the arousal. He needed to be closer to you, this distance was eating him alive. Cooper was never this careless, he never would’ve made himself known in a situation like this. The smell of your arousal and the thin sheen of sweat on your forehead caused the animal inside of him to peer out, the one that released from him seventeen years ago, the one that put him on the map as a brutal killer. It seemed to have climbed his ribcage, puncturing his lungs, spleen, kidneys as it rose. The feral monster within him gnawing at bone, sawing through muscle and tissue in order to rise higher. Primal grunts and groans were releasing out of Cooper at an alarming rate – he couldn’t hold back much longer. For his legs took him not where he wanted to be, but where he desperately needed. Directly. Over. You.

“C-Cooper!” You moaned out sweetly, bring him back into reality. Cooper’s eyes flared out of their momentary hypnosis to see what he was being met with. Instead of hiding behind the wall of your foyer, watching you touch yourself from afar – Cooper was hovering over your head by the arm of the couch. His glistening cock mere inches away from your face, his eyes as dark as the night. He was fucked out of his mind and you were loving every moment of it. The sight of him so feral, so taken with the sight of your arousal, it was enough to cause your climax to speed up. “Touch me,” you whimpered softly, bringing the hand that was on your breast up to swipe over the wet head of his cock. The cum spattered on your thumb with a simple flick, you did not hesitate to rub it against your bottom lip. Cooper wasn’t even phased that you knew his name, someone who you have never had any contact with, or knew of what he had done – he presumed. But that was just it – it was your job to know everyone in town. To know who your next victim could be.

Cooper’s gloved left-hand didn’t hesitate to grasp at your throat from behind, restricting the blood flow to your brain. The euphoric sensation of pressure building in your head caused your orgasm to crest – a bright burning life of warmth behind your eyes as your fingers worked double time. Your body shivered with each stroke; Long, languid moans seeping out like a broken waterpipe – the flood kept coming and you didn’t want it to end. Watching you get off on your own hand caused Cooper’s climax to ignite. With a few rough thrusts into his hand, Cooper felt his balls pull up into himself – ready to burst at the seams. The animalistic scream he managed to get out was strangled as he gripped at your throat harder, his cock pressed against your forehead. Simply looking up at him was enough to make him cum. You felt like he was mere moments away from ending you where you laid, but you knew he wouldn’t – couldn’t for that matter.

Your name left his lips in a mewl of passion as his cock met its end. A clean shot of his seed cascading down your chin, your breast, and to your clothed stomach. Every bit of cum he was letting out was enough to make you wet again; A man without the touch of a woman, or himself for that matter. Each thrust of himself into his own hand caused thicker shots to flow over your body – you weren’t going to stop him. Instead, you held out your tongue as he kept going, catching some of his salty seed in your mouth. With Cooper’s eyes screwed tightly shut, you brought your wet fingers up to his naked hand, running it along the protruding veins on the back of his hand. That was enough to wake him from his quiet slumber above you, feeling the pressure building harder within your head. As the last of his cum shot out across your tongue, Cooper let his hand around your neck relax, his eyes falling open. The sight below him was a masterpiece, one he wishes he could make last forever. His essence covering your body – a fucked out look on your face. This was his own personal heaven, and he never wanted to come down from it. Your gentle gaze met his blissful one, and he felt his heart stammer. Nothing in this world could compare to your beauty; Distance did not due you justice. As he stands above you, he got to see the real you – he couldn’t get over how gorgeous you truly are.

“Lovely to finally meet you, Mr. Adams,” you huffed with a laugh after swallowing his load, biting your lip as you slowly sat up. It broke Cooper out of his daydream, his cock soft against the waistband of his briefs – still a mouthful even when not erect. Standing at full attention, you glanced down at your body to see the aftermath – feeling a flush growing over your skin at the sight of being covered in him. You could tell it was affecting Cooper as he put his cock back into his briefs, the crotch on his jeans stiffening slightly. “You as well, Miss.” He managed to let out, chuckling as his eyes cascaded down your body. There was something dark within him that he was trying to push down; You didn’t like that. It’s what drew you to him those months ago, made you want to move to this town, to be close to him. You knew who Cooper Adams is, how he was stalking you. You played into every hand of his, wanting him to know you were the good in his world. You two could rule together, be the parents of evil – to let it out instead of holding it in. He is The Butcher, and you are The Baker.

“You’re so beautiful,” Cooper murmured, not wanting to seem out of the ordinary but he needed you to know. Your eyes glanced up over him in his SWAT outfit, feeling the slick between your legs growing once more. His broad shoulders looked so form fitted in the tactical vest. His thick thighs were highlighted by the rugged denim of his jeans. His large feet covered in beat up leather boots – he is the walking embodiment of sex, and you wanted to climb him. Feeling flattered at his words, you started to make your way over to him, watching how the black of his pupils cancelled out the auburn of his irises – showing that Cooper wasn’t fully in control, but the demon inside him was. A lump formed at the back of his throat as the post nut clarity set in, trying to find his words without making a mistake. “I thought you’d be afraid of me, if you knew who I was.” Cooper mumbled, keeping his eyes trained on your carpeted floor, feeling a flush rise upon his cheeks. You felt your lips pull up into a soft smile, showcasing your loving nature. Bringing a hand up to Cooper’s cheek, you gently caressed at the small stubble growing on his chin, his disheveled brown hair in his eyes. Your right hand came up to push the hair out of his face, giving you a good grasp on his locks as you raked your fingers through. Sliding down the back of his head, at the base of his neck you wrapped his hairs around your fingers, tugging at the root with precision. Looking up into his eyes, you let a sinister smirk fall to your lips, your lips a mere few centimeters off of his; “I fear no man.”

If Cooper was right about anything in this world, it was that you were his match. The Butcher and The Baker, wreaking havoc across Philadelphia.

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General Taglist: @rubyfruitjungle @cherryinterlude @lilly3434 @amethystblackkchaos @rosaleelovesdilfs @babygorewhore @dirtylittlefairytales @redpillbluepill @strangererotica @minedofmoria

Cooper Adams Smut: @exhoism

[ace-and-the-rpg-horrors]

i feel like some of the fandom is a bit harsh on Monty... like, trauma is definitely not an excuse, but it does give pretty much all of his actions an understandable explanation?

like... Monty was actively being abused by Esther in practically any scene they were together. he said something she didn't like, and she yelled and grabbed him threateningly. both of the times she transformed him, from crow to human and then back again, she literally stabbed and ripped him up in a really gory way.

i sure wonder why an evil witch's familiar who's constantly treated like that would follow her orders even if he disagreed with them!!

and considering that Esther is potentially one of the only humans Monty came into contact with before meeting the others, and she's like that - he turned out alright, didn't he? he's petty, a bit rude sometimes, and takes things personally, but generally, he's a shockingly decent person.

yes, he didn't take it well when Edwin rejected him. but, as others have pointed out - how was Monty genuinely meant to know any better? he had lived his whole life as a crow in a cage too small for him, where the only person he knew was his extremely nasty and cruel owner. and then, all of a sudden, he's forced into a new body and has humanity thrust upon him against his will. he explicitly expressed this discomfort himself when Esther degraded him for getting "too emotional" for her liking.

"i never asked to be human. with all these... feelings."

even after the bitterness of the rejection, Monty never actually wanted to hurt the Dead Boy Detectives. turns out, he didn't even know that Esther's plan intended to end them completely, and was so horrified upon finding out that he made an attempt to lead them to safety, which was, by the way, putting himself at massive risk. Esther already punished him likely under the assumption that he just didn't put enough effort into manipulating them - can you imagine what she'd have done to him if she knew about his last-minute attempt to actually save them?

of course, i don't think Edwin was wrong for not forgiving Monty. he deserved that. Monty still helped in the scheme that aimed to destroy him. he also fully deserved to reject Monty if he wanted to (conversely, i do also see people say that Edwin "could have handled it better," but honestly, i don't know if it's just me not being neurotypical or something, but i genuinely do not see how Edwin could have been nicer about it? he was straightforward and polite, then afterwards, still tried to be Monty's friend until the betrayal.)

however, Monty was still very much a victim himself, and any harm he did was not from his own will, instead motivated by fear of the terrifying witch who had him fully reliant upon her, often through both verbal and physical force. Esther never hesitated to hurt him. he was painfully aware of that. she didn't care about him beyond how useful he could be. and when he failed at that, her reaction was violent.

but he didn't have anyone else.