#sometimes she falls short since she’s only around 7 years older than him
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purelywretched · 4 months ago
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A Little "What if" illustration for the oc x character fic. Like what if Belos wasn't an awful human being?? Look what you could've had dude!!
(They're watching tinkerbell on her iphone 7)
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amunyan · 1 year ago
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I can't believe I've got this far into the story. 🫣🤯But now we are nearing the end. This is already the penultimate chapter... Even though there is still a part of chapter 6 and the final chapter in the works. But I am happy that there are at least some people out there who read my stuff. 😅☺️
Wordcount; is somewhere around 3,240 (if anyone cares... )
Love me, not him (6/7)
6C
It was a rough start to the day for you. Not sleeping at all or crying your eyes out over your betrayal.... Neither of these did much to improve your mood.
You were accordingly tired and exhausted when you slurped your way into the common room in the early afternoon. Your vision was still blurred from all the tears and the short night. You also had a sinking feeling in your stomach. It could have been hunger or fear of Mereoleona; you skipped the morning training. But a voice in your head told you that it was all right if no one was looking for you. And because of the time of day, there were only a few other comrades at the tables, but they didn't pay any attention to you.
You were looking around for something to eat when you overheard a rumour that piqued your interest; the Royal Knights had been formed and the mission might start as early as tomorrow morning - much sooner than expected.
The rumour came from Leo, who was disappointed that he had not passed the entrance exam. He sat near the edge of a table and some other comrades tried to cheer him up.
Since you couldn't get any food and Leo looked sad too, you sat down opposite him. The two of you sat there, looking at each other with a deep gaze at the same time, looking down in defeat. He let out a deep sight and started, without words of greeting, to complain about the Entrance exam. „Damn it... I've trained so much, but I'm still weaker than everyone else. Asta made it. So did Yuno and Noelle. This is unfair. I can't believe I'm falling behind them.” He was clearly disappointed. The others had left the table as soon as he started talking. Perhaps he had told everyone this story over and over again, and now you were his next victim. „ And my sister gave me a hard time at training this morning. .... Even though she's supposed to be leading this new unit, she didn't notice how I was improving and that I should be there. She gave me the cold shoulder. Damn it. This is so unfair. I have to get stronger...“
Even though you weren't present at the exam and couldn't say much about the results, you could understand him. Too well...
„Yes,“ you nodded as your thoughts drifted to his sister. „ And I gave her another reason to be mad...“
Leo looked at you with a raised eyebrow. Not sure what to expect next. At the sight of his face, you felt a pang of guilt and quickly waved it away. „I'm sorry, Leo. That was tactless. You complained to me about your misery and I made it about me.“
„No worries,“ he replied nonchalantly, his head shaking as his eyes filled with sympathy. He pressed his lips together and his expression softened even more, as did his voice. „You look terrible too. Looks like my big sister is taking quite a toll on you?“
You flinched for a moment. You felt caught. „If only he knew how true that is,“ you thought to yourself.
„Do you wanna talk about it? You know her. Sometimes she can be very...“ he paused for a moment, seemingly searching for words that would aptly describe his sister but wouldn't be too rude, „...brutal and scary?“ It sounded more like a question, which he was fully aware of, trapped by his embarrassed grin. But you nodded in agreement.
„But she likes you, (Y/N). So does my brother. It must be hard for you too, not knowing if he's going to wake up or not...“
„You must be talking. He's just a good friend of mine,“ you said, blushing. You knew that was far from the truth. But you pulled yourself together and looked at Leo seriously. „He's your older brother. Your mentor. You idolise him more than anyone else and have been emulating him for years. It must be much harder for you, Leo.”
„Somehow; yes. But I know how strong Fuegoleon is. He'll wake up again.“ His voice was firm. He was convinced of it. He has a deep trust in his brother. Like a strong bond that cannot be broken.
„Yeah, I hope so too,“ you whispered, looking out the large window. You weren't as convinced as Leo. Even if you wanted to be.
Leo, however, was still staring at you. You could clearly feel his penetrating gaze. Maybe he really expected you to talk to him about your problems. But no matter how sweet Leo was, you resisted and ruffled his red fuzzy hair as you stood up.
„Thanks for the little chat, Leo“ you said to him before you left.
You know what to do now. You need time to think it all through. So you took the time and the nice weather this afternoon and left headquarters for your favorite secret place by the small river.
*******************************
To which result do you came?
A) „I'm glad Mereoleona leaves me alone for now....“
-> Part 6E, if you left her in the morning
Else; ->Chapter 7
B) „Maybe I should talk to her again?“
-> Part 6D
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6D
You thought you would find Mereoleona in the office at this time of the day; so you went there in the early evening. You stood a little nervously in front of the door, rubbing your hands together until you felt brave enough for a moment to knock on the wooden door. Mereoleona’s slightly aggressive, gruff voice sounded to invite you in. Shyly you opened the door and pushed your way in.
„Captain Mereoleona? Do you have time for me?“
„Oh, you are?“ She looked up from her desk, cluttered with papers, and asked you the reason for your visit.
*********************
6D-1 ; When you didn’t fight the night before
6D-2 After rejecting the kiss/ Sex
*********************
6D-1
„I don't have much time for someone as weak as you.“ Her voice was harsh and made you look away, guilty and visibly affected. You let out a deep sigh and looked around nervously. Unable to form words or even concentrate on her. Nervousness crept into your chest and constricted your lungs. It grew bigger and stronger when you noticed Mereoleona hammering her fingers restlessly on the tabletop.
„Nothing?“ She asked with raised eyebrows. „Then get lost! I have to do this stupid paperwork for the Royal Knights. This crap here should have been done by now. I still don't know why they need so many forms for a simple mission like that. Or why Nozzle doesn't care. We could just run off and kill the guys from the Midnight Sun. We don’t need those shitty papers.“ She gave an annoyed groan. „I know exactly why I hate this job here.“ She grumbled quietly to herself as a stack of papers felt to the floor at the same moment.
Almost automatically, you bent down to gather the papers.
„Mereoleona seems really stressed out by all the paperwork. „This work is definitely not suitable for her...“ Though you thought of offering her your help, you were still unable to speak normally. You could only stammer a few sounds as you sat down on the floor for the rest of the papers, „Um... it's so..... I...“
A stern look, as if Mereoleona would climb over the desk at any moment to come to you, settled on you. As if you were annoying her even more than the mess of papers. You startled for a moment and you almost crumpled the papers. The sight of Mereoleona, who was now standing up and towering over you, was more than frightening and you pumped your bum. But it helped you to loosen your tongue again.
„About the fight yesterday...“ now you could speak, you felt the urge to tell her the reason for your visit that she had asked about earlier. „I'm... I'm sorry. I wanted to talk to you again. And-”
Mereoleona cut you off in the middle of your sentence: „You don't need to apologize to me. Only to you...“
„S-sure... that's right,“ you whispered understandingly and looked away again. For a few moments there was silence in the room. Only to be broken by Mereoleona, who pushed back her chair and knelt on the floor to pick up the rest of the papers. You looked at her in disbelief, but she didn't seem to mind your gaze. „I can understand that you don’t like fighting this much, (Y/N). Your magic isn't made for combat. But you are a magic knight after all. So…” With a haunting look in her eyes, quite different from her soft voice, she approached you. You couldn't help but crawling back, but the desk got in your way. „Hey... don't gimme that look. Am I so scary to you?“
You bit your lower lip and were about to reply when Mereo let out a deep sigh and stood up again. „You know, everyone has weaknesses,“ she said, looking at the choatic desk. „Everyone just thinks you have to overcome them. But that's impossible. You have to know your strengths to find a way around your weaknesses. To compensate for them. Understand?“
„Yes, ma’am,“ you answer immediately and also get up to hand the papers to Mereoleona. With a soft smile on her face, she took them and put them on the desk. „I want you to be strong enough to fight for yourself. So I don't have to worry about you.“
„Huh?“
„You don't see it, do you?“ As her gaze meets yours, a cold shiver runs down your spine. You never thought Mereoleona could look this sad. „Well, who's surprised? You still see me as a scary person - like everyone else here. But I ...“
She came closer to you, almost pressurized you again like the day before. So close you could feel her warm breath on your skin. Her fiery scent in your nostrils. Your heart began to beat faster, not knowing what would come next.
„Don't worry, (Y/N). I've learned my lesson,“ Mereoleona said in a calm voice, waving her hand through your hair. „ I still like you. More than you can imagine. I've known you for years. I know how your magic works. As I told you, it is good for defence, and with your stamina you could build a great strategy around your strengths. Take this as a hint; after all, it is your job to become stronger and to recognise your strengths. Above all, be proud of them. Find your own way to fight!“ She ordered you and gave you a challenging look.
You just stood there with your mouth open, not knowing what to say as relief overcame you. A smile flitted across your lips and your mouth formed a strong, piercing „Yes, Mereoleona!”
+5 by Mereoleona (you became neutral again...)
-> next chapter
6D-2
(Bonus Dialog if you left in the morning): „I really missed you this morning...“ she adds and you can clearly hear the reproachful undertone in her voice.
„Yeah... I’m sorry I left without a word today and sent you into the unknown...“
You were still rubbing the palms of your hands together, restless. Somehow nervous. Like your gaze. You couldn't concentrate on Mereoleona and your eyes wandered twitchily around the room. A feeling of insecurity crept up inside you. You didn't know how she would react when you told her the reason for your visit.
„I am sure she is not the type of person who likes people who change their minds the way others change their underwear... But I have to tell her how I feel. And it's not like I'm being erratic or worse...“ You told yourself it was all right and took a deep breath.
But as much as you wanted to talk to Mereoleona, to talk about your feelings, you kept quiet. Nervousness crept into your chest and constricted your lungs. It grew bigger and stronger when you noticed Mereoleona hammering her fingers restlessly on the tabletop.
„So, what is it? Split it out? Or do you have nothing more to say to me?” She paused for a moment to gave you a stern look. But since you were not only frightened by her look, but could also imagine her becoming even angrier after you had told her the reason for your visit, you remained calm.
„Then get lost! I have to do this stupid paperwork for the Royal Knights. This crap here should have been done by now. I still don't know why they need so many forms for a simple mission like that. Or why Nozzle doesn't care. We could just run off and kill the guys from the Midnight Sun. We don’t need those shitty papers.“ She gave an annoyed groan. „I know exactly why I hate this job here.“ She grumbled quietly to herself as a stack of papers felt to the floor at the same moment.
Almost automatically, you bent down to gather the papers.
„Mereoleona seems really stressed out by all the paperwork. „This work is definitely not suitable for her...“ Though you thought of offering her your help, you were still unable to speak normally. You could only stammer a few sounds as you sat down on the floor for the rest of the papers, „Um... it's so..... I...“
Again; a stern look, as if Mereoleona would climb over the desk at any moment to come to you, settled on you. As if you were annoying her even more than the mess of papers. You startled for a moment and you almost crumpled the papers. The sight of Mereoleona, who was now standing up and towering over you, was more than frightening and you pumped your bum.
For a few moments there was silence in the room. Only to be broken by Mereoleona, who pushed back her chair with a loud slurping sound to also knelt down on the floor to pick up the rest of the papers. With a little disbelieve you looked at her, but she didn’t mind your gaze
„Will you finally tell me why you are here, (Y/N)? To annoy me? To play my secretary? Come on, if you don't like me and think yesterday was a mistake, you can tell me. I'm not as stupid as you think. I can tell not only tell from your mana how nervous you are. You look and act like a big mess. And there is only one reason I can think of..."
„Huh? Oh. No...“ you shook your head slowly. „ It's not about that. Not really. You surprised me yesterday and I couldn't find any other answer than to run away. I never thought of you that way. I never thought you'd be so open with me about your feelings. I didn't feel ready... As if... No one would believe we were really together...“
„Do you really think that's strange? I mean... We've been friends for years now. We always train together. We even bathe together.“ The two of you exchanged intense looks as Mereoleona approached you. You couldn't help but crawl back, but the desk was in your way. Not only. She had put her hand against the table, making escape impossible. Shyly, you held the papers you had just picked up from the floor in front of your face. Blushing, you looked away as you continued: „We are two girls, two women... This is somehow normal for us... But... Friends don't do things like that... Like kissing...“
After these words, there was a leaden silence in the room for a few moments.
„Mereo...“, you whispered. Still with the papers in front of your face, mostly covering your mouth. But Mereoleona was getting more and more annoyed. With a quick flick of her wrist, she snatches the papers from your hand, only to stand up in the same motion and toss the papers carelessly in her anger onto the desk. You jumped and huddled even closer to the desk as Mereoleona’s gaze lingered on you. Her arms were crossed over her chest, her eyebrows pulled together. But she didn't say anything. She just stared at you.
You swallowed, and it was no surprise that your voice was shaking when you begun to speak again: „I'm not here to tell you that I hate you. If that were the case, I would have already left the order.“ You paused and looked up at Mereo. She was still staring at you. You could feel the tension in the air. Her whole body was tense and she was literally holding her breath.
„No... I wanted to talk to you again. About us...“ Again; there was time for reflection on your words. „But I need time. As I told you; I never thought of us that way. You knew about my feelings for Fuegoleon. I still like him. I like you both. You are both so important to me. It's not just you. Your brother also has been by my side for so long. You have both always cheered me on and encouraged me. I cannot do that now. I cannot choose you over him, without talking to him first. Furthermore...“ You took a deep breath before looking into her blue eyes. She was still standing over you, staring at you in silence.
„I want to be able to return your feelings with all my heart and sincerity. You deserve it, Mereo...“
For a moment, you could have sworn Mereoleona had a blush on her face before she reached out her hand and pulled you up. Strongly enough to pull you into an embrace. „You really are a sweetheart,“ she whispered, her breath close to your skin and ear. „You know... all these years I have been looking forward to seeing you again when I go home for a few weeks. Even if it meant supporting you in your interest in my brother. But as the years went by and I saw no progress, only you getting sadder and sadder, I changed my mind. I wanted to be there for you. To cheer you on. To show you what a great person you are. But maybe I went too far without realising it. Like... I only realised I had gone too far yesterday when you ran away in tears. And I didn't stop. I dragged you into something you weren't quite sure about. I even gave you alcohol. That was probably rash, if not unfair.
„Don't worry. It was my fault too,“ you said in a soft voice, putting your arms around her. „I don't want to lose either of you. You have both given me the strength I have always needed. You both believe in me no matter what. I don't want to put one over the other without talking to both of you. But most of all... I don't want to disappoint either of you. I want to become what you both already know me to be and learn to love it! .... As you both have always done...“
-5 by Mereoleona (you became neutral again...)
-> next chapter
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giddlygoat · 2 years ago
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hiiii i was talking ab illumination not appreciating the onceler. basically i didn't like how much potential he had but wasn't fleshed out properly so i started making shit up. it's quite elaborate!!
his childhood:
he was born on april 22nd 1992 in some small town in georgia
his parents got married young but got divorced when he was 7, mom won the custody in court and he never saw his dad since
his mother wasn't very good at being a mother because she would neglect her children (yay /s)
he learned how to play the guitar all by himself when he was 12
he was really into fall out boy as a teen
pre thneed inc. days:
he left home around february 2012
he came to greenville on march 2nd 2012
after he promised the lorax he won't cut trees anymore, he really started liking him because he reminded him of his dad (emo alert)
he had an intense, short-lived (this will be a recurring motive) relationship with norma because imo he deserves to have interpersonal relationships with people who aren't the lorax
thneed inc. days:
after he successfully sold his 1st thneed, his company was crowd-funded and started fully operating immediately
after he proved to be successful, he made friends with some rich businessmen who were all like twice his age
again, said friendships were short-lived and intense
his business was really unethical. the workers were badly paid, he polluted the forest really bad and he was actively getting sued. he'd only win the cases because he'd bribe the judge (again, illegal). he broke osha regulations on a daily basis! quirky!
while all of this was going on, he was so sure that he was doing a selfless act, by destroying the forest for his family
in reality, him destroying the forest was an incredibly selfish act, because a group of people that don't care about him mattered more to him than the well-being of the animals and the citizens of greenville who lived right next to the forest.
near the end of his business, december 2012 - january 2013, the workers of thneed inc. unionized. the onceler fired each and every one of them
norma breaks up with the onceler shortly after. good for her!
for context, onceler really (like really really, it wasn't healthy) liked norma for like 3 months and the he grew bored of her and only kept her around because he was lonely
the forest is destroyed around march 2013, and the company shuts down
post thneed inc. days:
march 2013, the onceler shuts himself away from the world and only leaves his mansion once, on april 22nd 2013, his 21st birthday, so he could buy himself loads of alcohol and get wasted
norma forgives him and stays friends with him, that's why she trusts him to talk to ted (a girl's gotta be stupid sometimes) (and no idk who mrs wiggins' father is i never thought of that)
ted wiggins meets the onceler on march 2063, 50 years after his business shut down
additional info:
the onceler's mom was born on june 23rd 1971, when the book came out
the onceler's parents' marriage was a marriage out of convenience, his mother decided to marry his father, his uncle's younger brother, because he had more money and she was hoping she wouldn't be poor anymore, and he wanted to marry her because he wanted to leave his parents' home because he didn't really like them
his parents didn't really like eachother and they were hoping that having children would save their marriage. it didn't.
his brothers are a year older than him
TLDR: the onceler was really selfish and everything he ever did was short-lived and intense. he was really insane too, but that is understandable because 20-year-olds are like that.
anon i am SO sorry this took 60000 years to respond to. i was trying to think of something good to add but my brain has been fried for a while and it’s difficult for me to formulate any substantial headcanons rn. however, these are really interesting and i like your take a lot. i think he definitely had a thing with norma and i love to see ppl with that headcanon. i wish i had more to add to make the wait worth it, sorry.
once again, i would absolutely love to talk about this more! i actually have a discord server for fans of the lorax now so if you’d like to join that, please feel free to, it’s linked in my pinned post. i hope you have a great day/night despite my incredible lateness and boring response sjdndkndn
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starshapedkookie · 4 years ago
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Falling
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↳soulmate (noun): a person who is bound to another through the strongest  level of emotional and physical connection. one is given a name on the body upon 18 years of age and any transgressions against the laws of soul-bonding will not occur without harm. 
REPOSTED/REWRITTEN FROM OLD BLOG
pairing: jungkook x female reader 
word count: 31.4k (sorry guys, another monster lol)
genre: soulmate/destiny au, college au, photographer jungkook, angst, fluff, smut
warnings: smut (protected sex, vanilla, light choking), swearing, angst!!!, fluff (jungkook is head over heels), drinking, mentions of anti-depressants and therapy
recommended songs: falling by harry styles, love again by dua lipa, hold on by chord overstreet, dusk till dawn by zayn & sia, when we were young by lost kings
FALL
The last thing you needed this morning was for your coffee to get knocked out of your hand and crash onto the pavement—but of course, that is exactly what happened.
“Ugh,” you groan loudly, bending down to pick up the plastic cup. You did not have time for this. It wasn’t even your first day of classes yet here you were, making a fool of yourself in front of everyone. You quickly dispose of the plastic in a recyclable can before hurrying off to find your class. You were already going to be late—but you knew you didn’t want to be that kid on the first day coming in hungover and 20 minutes late. So far though, that was going to be exactly you.
You rush into the building of your class before rushing up the stairs to the main auditorium. You glance down at your watch and you roll eyes. 7 minutes late—that’s doable right? You enter the large room and you curse to yourself when it’s quiet and the only words are coming from your professors mouth.
“Class I believe we’ve found our first day straggler,” the professor’s voice erupts in the room through his microphone and you freeze in your spot. Everyone’s eyes are on you and you actually want to crawl into a hole and bury yourself alive. Laughter fills the room and the professor goes back to the syllabus as you find a seat towards the back of the classroom. You sit down by yourself and lean back in the seat. Not only was your head absolutely busting from last night, you also had never felt more embarrassment in your entire life. You pull out your laptop and pull up the uploaded syllabus and try to hide yourself within your t-shirt.
“As humans, we think attraction is spontaneous and comes from here,” your professor pauses and points to his chest where his heart would be, “When in fact, that’s not true. Our brains run complex calculations that decide whom we think is attractive. This is what this course is about. The psychology behind gender, sex, and even the ideals of soulmates are all very much correlated in this course,” your ears drown out his talking once the ’S’ word is mentioned—no, not sex, but soulmate.
Soulmates—self explanatory but usually not discussed out in the open like this. Some people believed in them, others didn’t. Growing up, you had always heard about soulmates and their stories—your parents managing to bring it up at least once a week. It’s said that one will receive a name by 18. At 13, you and your older sister decided that it was all bogus as you had many crushes on boys growing up. You could like someone but that didn’t mean you were soulmates though. Your sister quickly flipped her stance about soulmates when she was 17, you 15, and suddenly a mark showed up on the inside of her finger. Not just any mark—but a name. With the name engraved in her skin like a tattoo and only a few months after that, she had met her match.
You on the other hand remained nameless for the rest of high school. You waited and waited for a name to show up by the age of 18—but it never did. You felt alone and like a glitch. At 19, you decided you weren’t going to sit around and wait for a soulmate. Besides, you were young—since when did you have to find your life partner so soon?
Now at 21, nearing 22, you were still nameless. Did it bother you? You were indifferent. You felt lucky to be able to experience college without being tied down to something serious but now as graduation was coming faster than ever and it seemed like everyone around you was finding their other half—worry did sink into your skin sometimes.
“You,” someone snaps you from your reverie and you think the professor has called you again until you see a two guys sitting two rows back from you, one of them pointing at you.
You point at yourself wondering if he’s got the right girl. As you look around the class, everyone is shuffling around to what seems to be small groups. Had you zoned out that bad? You look back at the two guys and gather your belongings before heading their way.
“Uh, hi?” You say awkwardly as you shuffle towards them.
“Told you she’d come,” one guys nudges the other one with a smirk, “Wanna be in our group?”
“Group?” You look back to the front of the classroom and see a slide displayed “FINAL PROJECT” shining bright. “Yeah, sure whatever,” you sit down beside of the chatty male before he finally introduces himself.
“I’m Namjoon,” he smiles.
“Y/N,” you reply looking at the other guy who has stayed silent this whole interaction.
“This is Jungkook,” Namjoon says and Jungkook looks at you offering a weak smile.
“Hey,” he says simply. Jungkook has pretty eyes, round and doe-like, innocent yet inviting. You catch yourself noticing the ink lining his forearms and knuckles.
You take a seat beside of Namjoon and focus your attention back to the board. Your professor explains each group has a variety of topics to choose from and present to him later at the end of the semester. As much as you weren’t in the mood for much talking, you were thankful this Namjoon and Jungkook guy asked you to be in their group because you’re not sure you would have had the courage to ask anyone else.
Lecture ends with an online syllabus quiz due at the end of the week and you quickly gather your things to leave.
“Um,” you start before you get ready to leave, “here's my number. Just text whenever you want to get started,” you slip the piece of paper to Namjoon. Your eyes meet Jungkook’s again and something stirs deep within your stomach. Namjoon’s voice breaks your gaze.
“Alright, sounds good. Nice to me you.”
“You guys too.” And then you’re off to your next class, hoping you won’t cause as much attention in that one.
.
“Jesus Christ,” you exhale deeply, lying down on Taehyung’s bed. He eyes you from his desk.
“Rough first day?” He inquires, swirling back and forth in his chair.
“You have no idea Tae,” you groan rolling over to look at him. “I should have known this day would be shit the second I slept through my alarm.”
He gives you a small smile, “At least it’s over now. You got much homework?”
You shake your head, “No thank god.”
“Do you want to grab dinner with Jimin and I then?”
Your stomach growls loudly at the idea of food. You don’t even say anything and you don’t need to. Taehyung gives you a laugh before slipping on his ridiculously ugly fur-lined Gucci mules. You stand up from his bed, straightening out your giant t-shirt and running shorts. Yours and Taehyung’s fashion clashed tremendously, but that’s what made you guys—well you.
You and Taehyung meet Jimin at a Thai place downtown. It’s cheap and delicious and a bowl of pad-thai to sooth your brain after today sounded heavenly. Jimin is standing outside, wearing a put together yet sporty outfit. He smiles when he sees the two of you approaching.
“Hey guys!” Jimin smiles widely, leaning over to give you a tight squeeze. He pulls away and gives Taehyung an even bigger hug, the two of them pecking each other on the lips quickly. You watch the two soulmates in awe. As much as you wanted to believe the soulmate thing was bullshit—these two were living proof that it works. And deep down, it hurts.
The three of you order your food and lean back into your chair across from the two lovers as they converse about their day.
“What about you Y/N? Did you have a good first day?” Jimin asks. He’s got to the be the most considerate person you’ve ever met.
“Are you sure you want to hear her spiel?” Taehyung mutters sarcastically and you poke your tongue out at him.
“It was horrible Jimin,” you pout, “First, I slept through my alarm which I never do, was hungover as sit so I needed some coffee and then I got my iced coffee that was five dollars and then dropped it everywhere—“
“Wait, you were running late and still got coffee?” Jimin raises an eyebrow.
“Yeah?” You say in a duh-like tone. Jimin and Taehyung laugh at your before you continue.
“Then I walked into my first class and the fucking professor had the audacity to call me the first day straggler! How awful is that?!”
“I mean it’s true,” Taehyung grins and you flip him off.
“Not. The. Point,” you offer dramatically, “And then all of a sudden these two guys are calling me over to be in their group for a project and they’re both extremely cute although one talked way too much and one didn’t talk at all—“ “Which one was cuter?” Jimin asks curiously. Taehyung swats at his arm.
“The quiet one,” you admit, “At least to me. And then after that, I went to my last class and that went smoothly. However it started going downhill again when I went and grabbed lunch and I got a salad from East—“ “Oh no,” Jimin groans, “East dining hall? Y/N you know that place is whack.”
“I know that but I was hungry! And then I ate my salad and then while I was driving back to my apartment I literally almost shit myself.”
The three of you begin to laugh at how ridiculous your day actually was.
“I mean what kind of fucking luck is that?!”
“You’ve definitely had better days for sure…” Taehyung says eying you from across the table, “I mean look at that outfit and hair,” he tsks.
“Hey! Fuck you,” you pick up your straw wrapper and throw it at him across from you. He’s laughing just as your food arrives. It looks and even smells better, the three of you immediately digging in.
The three of you continue small chatter amongst yourselves, Jimin and Taehyunf being too cute and in love for their own good. You are in the middle of slurping your noodles when your nearly choke on your food when a new, but familiar face walks into the restaurant. The Jungkook guy from your class. And he’s not alone as a girl who is extremely pretty trails in behind of him.
“What are you looking at?” Taehyung asks and he turns over his shoulder to follow your line of sight. “Who is that cutie?” He then says. Jimin agrees.
“It’s the guy from my class,” you whisper, hoping he doesn’t spot you. “The quiet one,” you specify. Jimin smirks before nudging Taehyung.
“You’re right,” Taehyung says looking back at you. For some reason, despite not knowing anything about Jungkook but his name, you dislike the way the random girl is looking at him. It doesn’t settle well in your stomach.
“Guess he has a soulmate,” you say slightly disappointed staring into your food.
Jimin speaks up, “No he doesn’t.”
You and Taehyung furrow your eyebrows at him.
“Are you guys forgetting soulmates is literally what I’m doing my thesis on? I can spot them when I see them,” he says keeping his voice low, “That’s not his soulmate, trust me.”
“…Right,” you hesitate. You glance back towards Jungkook and his date to find that they have been seated elsewhere in the restaurant. You bite your lip, stirring your noodles around, the weird feeling you felt when you first spotted Jungkook still deep rooted in your stomach. You don’t mention Jungkook again the entire night, only sparing glances around the restaurant to get another look at him. You come up short.
.
Your first week back at school is nearly over as Friday approaches faster than ever. Thankfully, unlike your first day shambles, the rest of your week went fairly smooth. You’ve managed to get ahead in most of your classes already and you can’t wait for the afternoon nap you’re gifting yourself later today.
Ever since Monday, you have decided to sit beside Namjoon and Jungkook in your psychology lecture now. They were easy to talk to, albeit Jungkook still quite shy, but being with your final project group was convenient. Speaking of Jungkook—he was no where to be seen today.
“Where’s your friend?” You inquire as you sit beside Namjoon. Normally Jungkook is right beside of him as the two of them always get to class earlier than you.
Namjoon shrugs, “I don’t know, he didn’t answer any of my texts this morning.”
You brush it off as your jackass of a professor begins his lecture. Your first official lecture of the semester is on the basis of the human brain and it’s connection to relationships. You nearly roll your eyes out of your head, how fun. Ten or so minutes go back of you typing up notes trying to keep up with him until rummaging disrupts your thoughts.
You glance to your left and spot Jungkook coming in late, his hair underneath a baseball cap, keeping his eyes down as he makes his way over to you and Namjoon. You inwardly wish the professor would call him out on his tardiness but of course, that doesn’t happen. Maybe your professor is a jackass and a sexist?
“Look who is late today,” You whisper as he sits down beside you. His brown eyes give you a glance before nodding to Namjoon.
“Sorry,” he gives you a soft smile, “Today has not been my day,” he briefly explains.
You raise your eyebrows as him, but decide against questioning him.
“I get it,” you respond.
“Hey! You in back,” your professor is suddenly stopping his lecture and pointing his finger towards you. Oh for fucks sake. “If you’re going to talk in my class, don’t bothering coming as I post the lecture slides online afterwards.”
You feel embarrassment taking over your body as Namjoon to your right is snickering at you and Jungkook on your left is sending you an apologetic stare.
Definitely sexist.
.
The next couple weeks of classes went by in a flash. So far, they were all going well and you liked all your professors—minus Mr. Sexist Jackass for psychology—but other than that, you were having no trouble. You had been able to meet other people and get into study group chats which you knew would help in the next few weeks as your first midterm was quickly approaching.
If there was one thing you were slacking on though, it was your group project for said psychology class. Which is why you texted Namjoon and Jungkook to meet at a coffee place on campus to discuss getting started and what roles you all would take.
“Hey,” Jungkook is the first to arrive and you give him a sweet smile. Within the past two weeks, he had become more open to talking to you and you sensed a blossoming friendship between you and him.
“Hi, how are you?” You ask him as you move your stuff out of the way so he could sit down. He sits across from you, his eyes meeting yours.
“I’m alright,” he says with not much energy taking a gulp from whatever drink he was sipping on. It looked to be an iced americano. “You?”
“Pretty good, although I’m already stressed about exams coming up,” you let your worries slip from you.
Jungkook shakes his head, “I haven’t thought about exams yet,” he says honestly.
You give him a hard stare before saying, “What even is your major? I know Namjoon is pre-med but I don’t think you’ve told me.”
He swallows the rest of his drink, “Sports medicine,” he responds with a straight smile.
“Hm,” you say, “So do you dress up as Sporty Spice for Halloween then?”
He lets out a laugh before nodding, “Yeah, every year.”
You laugh with him and you can’t help but notice how great his smile is. He really is attractive, you can’t deny that.
“Where the fuck is Namjoon?” You groan after your laughter dies out, looking down at your watch.
“Here!” You jump in your seat as Namjoon comes up behind you and you nearly fall out of your seat. Namjoon apologizes quickly about being late before scooting to sit beside you.
“Don’t worry about it,” you shake your head, “So, when do you guys want to start working on our project? I would hate for us to procrastinate and have to cram at the end of the semester.”
Namjoon nods, “I was thinking the same. We need to choose a topic first though… got any ideas?” He takes out a pen and notepad to scribble stuff down. You could tell Namjoon was just as studious as you were… Jungkook on the other hand was definitely more of a “go with the flow” type of student—not necessarily a bad thing though.
“Kook, any ideas?” Namjoon asks and Jungkook shrugs before throwing out there—
“Sex,” He says and you snicker at his suggestion. “What? That’s all the professor talks about, might as well give him something he’s interested in…” Jungkook retaliates.
You glance at Namjoon and he rolls his eyes.
“I get what you’re saying Kook but I think we should be more specific than that,” Namjoon deadpans and you nod agreeing with him. “Y/N?”
“Mmmm,” you hum, “Maybe we could do research on how sex differs between different people?”
Namjoon nods slowly, looking over at Jungkook quickly, “What if looked at how sex affects the body when it comes to soulmates?”
You throat goes dry at Namjoon’s suggestion and you have to compose yourself so you won’t give yourself away. You look over at Jungkook who looks just as uncomfortable as you do and it makes you furrow your eyebrows. Maybe Jimin’s sixth sense was right?
“I mean is there even research for that?” You look at him, your question somewhat patronizing.
“Oh yeah,” he says matter-of-factly, “There’s lots of research on how the body responds when people are intimate with people that aren’t their soulmates.”
You glance at Jungkook again whose eyes are dancing around the room and you’re not even sure he’s tuned into the conversation anymore.
“What do you think Jungkook?” You ask him.
“Sure,” he says, “Whatever will get us the grade.”
“Alright then, let’s meet up again next week after we each do some research,” Namjoon smiles before gathering his things up, “I hate to bounce like this but my tutoring shift starts in ten minutes and those freshman are so gullible I can make twice as much money off of them,” he says before waving you two off, leaving you and Jungkook alone.
“Does he really scam freshman?” You ask, somewhat horrified at his statement. Jungkook lets out a laugh, visibly a lot more comfortable now that the previous conversation has passed.
“Only when then they’re dumb enough,” he responds before he begins to gather his things too, “See in you class?”
You nod once, noticing what seems to be a silver Rolex covering his left wrist. Who the hell has a Rolex in college?
“See you in class.”
. “Well, well look who the cat dragged in?” Jimin smiles at you from behind the bar. Yeah—not only was Jimin currently getting his master’s in psychology, he also bartended on the weekends at one of your local bars.
You give him a smile as Taehyung isn’t far behind you, putting his head on your shoulder to look up at the menu.
“Hi babe,” Jimin smiles and Taehyung returns one, wrapping his arms around your front.
“Hi,” he smiles, visibly much more drunk than you were. “I’m pretending she’s you so don’t get jealous okay?” He slurs.
“Hey!” You fight back looking at Taehyung, “Crazy how people change after you ‘fall in love’,” you air quote yourself with sarcasm.
Taehyung laughs in your ear, “You should try it sometime babe,” under normal circumstances, you would have felt very offended at his remark because he knows your situation but with alcohol running through your veins—you let it slide.
“Can I have two green tea shots?” You ask Jimin and he nods quickly.
“Make it four,” Taehyung orders and Jimin laughs before nodding, heading off to make your shots.
Taehyung finally lets go of your middle and you both settle to lean on the bar whilst your drinks are being made.
“How was your week babe?” Taehyung asks, “Better I presume? You look hot so I’m assuming all is well?” He raises an eyebrow at you.
You gives him a smile, glancing down at your outfit. Your mini-wrap skirt and skin tight tank top was as basic as it could get, but it made you look and feel good about yourself.
“Good as it gets Tae,” you say flinging your hair behind your shoulder. On a scale 1 to 10 of drunkeness, you were probably a good 5 but you knew once Jimin was finished with your shots, you would be closer to a 7 or 8.
“I know I’m going to sound fucking crazy right now but it’s kind of just registering what I said to you about falling in love and I did not mean it like that—“ “Taehyung it’s fine,” you shake your head, placing a hand on his shoulder.
“No,” he shakes his head, “It’s not… I’m sorry I’m just really drunk right now,” he groans almost painfully.
“I know,” you smile at him before noticing Jimin has come back with your shots. “And you’re about to be even more drunk so whatever you say, apologize for it now.”
He looks up at the ceiling closing his eyes, “I’m sorry to whoever for the dumb shit I will say the rest of the evening, amen.”
“He’s religious now?” Jimin asks scooting the glasses over to you two.
“Apparently,” you eye him before taking a glass for you and handing one to Taehyung.
“To… senior year!” Taehyung says loudly over the music and you nod, clinking your glasses together.
“To senior year!” You say before downing the shot in its entirety. “Oh my god Jimin,” you groan, “I will never forgive you for getting me on these.”
“What can I say? If you’re gonna drink might as well enjoy it,” is the last thing he says before checking on another customer beside you and Taehyung.
“Oh god,” Taehyung says after downing his shot, looking over your shoulder.
“What?” You ask him, getting ready to down your second one.
“It’s the quiet one, the cute one,” Taehyung’s words confuse you until you begin to piece them together. Quiet… cute… Jungkook.
You take a glance over your shoulder and you nearly jump out of your skin when you see Jungkook looking right back at you. He gives you a small wave and smile and you do the same. He looks really good—blue jeans a t-shirt with his lovely ink being show. What intrigues you the most though is a 35mm camera hanging around his neck. You don’t recognize any of the people he is with before you turn back around, feeling your cheeks heat up even though no one could see it.
“Jungkook,” you say to Taehyung, “That’s his name.”
As much as you wished Taehyung would stop staring in his direction, you knew he was drunk and fighting him on it wouldn’t get you anywhere.
“Well, I think Jungkook,” Taehyung grabs his second shot, “Is hot as fuck and you should totally make a move,” Taehyung finally looks back at you and downs his liquor without waiting on you. You follow suit, the shot slivering down your throat.
“No,” you shake your head, “I don’t think he’s into me, plus I don’t even know if he has a partner or not.”
“You heard what Jimin said a couple weeks ago,” he retorts.
“How does Jimin know he’s right? I mean it’s not like we as humans have a fucking ‘yeah I have a soulmate’ scent to us like were goddamn dogs or something. I mean as much as I would totally make a move on him, I just don’t think I can do—“
“Uh, Y/N,” Taehyung nudges you from your rant.
“What?” You return harshly. A small smirk rises on his face before he points beside of you. You look to your left and your eyes widen when you see Jungkook coming up behind of you.
“J-Jungkook,” you manage to get out, “Hi.”
He approaches you and Taehyung with a warm smile, “Hey Y/N.” His eyes move to Taehyung and you clear your throat to introduce them.
“Jungkook this is Taehyung, Taehyung… Jungkook,” you smile between the two handsome men.
“Nice you to meet you,” Taehyung smiles widely and Jungkook nods.
“What are you doing out tonight?” You ask Jungkook and he steps closer to you as someone pushes past him.
“Trying to relieve some stress,” he answers with a laugh, “Can I get you a drink?” He scratches the back of his head, glancing over at Taehyung again.
“Oh, are you sure?” You ask him before he nods again. You give him a smile, “Alright, whatever you’re having I’ll have.”
“Jimin!” You yell over the music to get his attention. He stops drying a glass and immediately comes to you, his eyes falling on the companion behind of you.
“Can I get two Michelob's?” Jungkook says and you can feel his chest pressing into your back as the overwhelming amount of people pushing and pulling in the bar.
Jimin nods before quickly going into the cooler, popping the tops from the bottle and sliding them over to you.
“Thanks,” you both say grabbing them.
“Thank you,” you turn around to Jungkook and in this position, you underestimated how close you actually are to him. Chest to chest and his head towers over as he looks down at you with a smile.
“No problem,” he says, “Do you wanna go outside? Get some air and more space?”
It’s like he read your mind. “Yeah, sure.”
You tap Taehyung on the shoulder to get his attention from Jimin.
“I’m going outside, I’ll text you if I can’t find you again.”
He nods slowly, “I’ll be right here babe,” he sends you a wink before turning back around.
Jungkook’s eyes lay on Taehyung’s back a little longer than you would like. What’s he thinking right now? Without any warning, Jungkook grabs your hand gently and starts pulling you away from the crowded bar. You aren’t exactly sober right now and you can only hope that your hand isn’t sweating as much as you think it is. Jungkook leads you out to the deck that’s also crowded and loud, but leaves a lot more room to breathe.
You lean against the railing and Jungkook does the same across from you, just mere inches separating the two of you.
“Are you here with just Taehyung?” He asks you taking a sip of his beer. You follow suit. Thank god he ordered Michelob—a man with taste.
You nod, “Yeah… he wanted to go out more than I did but, here we are,” you try to make a joke at your drunkeness but fail miserably. Jungkook gives you a short lived smile.
“So… are you two like, together?” Jungkook says his words slowly, not wanting to say or imply the wrong thing. Your eyes nearly pop out of your head after he asks his question.
You start to laugh, having to cover your mouth so you don’t cackle loud enough to draw attention. Jungkook looks confused before you say—
“Taehyung’s gay,” you explain after your laughter dies down, “His partner is the bartender Jimin.”
Jungkook’s face falls and his doe eyes bulge out of his head. “Holy shit I didn’t know, I didn’t mean—“
“Jungkook it’s fine,” you wave him off, “You’re not the first person to ever ask if Tae and I are a thing. As much as I wish the universe was that nice to me to give me a man like Taehyung but no,” you smile although deep down it does hurt. You grew up with Taehyung hoping he would be your soulmate and when Jimin’s name appeared on the inside of his pinky, that dream bursted real fast.
“What about you?” You ask him. Now’s your chance. It’s got to be the alcohol that’s making this conversation easy as cake because normally, talk of this nature would not be spoken in public with this many people around.
Jungkook rolls his tongue in his cheek and you swear your heart skips a beat. He starts to shake his head, “No I just got out of a relationship.”
“Oh,” your face falls. So was he with a girlfriend at dinner a few weeks back?
“Yeah I guess the universe hates me too,” he says nonchalantly and the air suddenly feels thick with tension. So he didn’t have a soulmate? Nor did you? What were the odds?
“I hate to sound weird or creepy but,” you pause, unsure if you wanted to ask but internally you say fuck it. “I saw you a few weeks ago at the Thai place downtown with a girl, so that’s why I asked.”
Jungkook’s eyes are hard to read as he gulps his beer. You’re not sure he’s that drunk but if he is, he’s great at hiding it.
“Yeah… that was her,” he nods, “But like I said the universe is cruel and decide to give her a name after a couple months of dating,” he scoffs and almost seems angry—which I guess he has a right to be.
“Oh shit,” you mumble, “I’m sorry,” you offer.
He shakes his head, “It’s fine, what can I do about it now you know?”
You nod slowly, “Look forward to the future? Who knows what might happen.”
“You’re right,” he smiles tenderly, “To the future?” He raises his bottle.
“To the future,” you smile clinking the glass together.
“So who are you here with?” You ask him.
“Just my roommates, Yugyeom and Mingyu,” he explains while licking his lips and your heart skips a beat again.
“You don’t strike me as the type that gets out much you know,” you push a finger into his chest, narrowing your eyesight. 1 to 10 on the drunk scale? An 8 or 9 at the moment.
“Why’s that?” He amuses.
“Jeon, you barely spoke to me the first two weeks of class. I thought you were fucking mute.”
He suddenly steps closer to you and it forces you to drop your finger.
“I’m shy okay?” He says with a pout. “I’m good now though? Right?” You swear his eyes are like a damn puppy dog looking at you like that. Your throat goes dry before you nod.
“For the most part I guess,” you offer weakly batting your eyelashes at him. You glance down his body quickly and notice the way his light blue jeans hug his tiny waist and thick thighs deliciously. Jesus fucking Christ.
“What this all about?” you point to his camera that’s dangling between his pecs. You needed to get your mind back to PG and fast.
He smiles lightly, “My hobby,” he says simply, “I like to take pictures for memories sake.”
“Memories sake,” you repeat, “So do you take it with you everywhere then?”
“Only if I think something interesting might happen that needs to be captured,” he shrugs. God he was so attractive and the longer you stared at him, the faster you were falling down a hole.
“What have you captured tonight then?”
“Nothing much really,” he glances down your front quickly and he thinks you don’t notice until you smirk at him.
“Take a picture of me,” you tilt your head with a smile, “I’m a treasure that should be captured, don’t ya think?” the alcohol was getting to you bad. When Jungkook laughs at you, you swear you saw two faces and you knew you needed to sober the fuck up.
“Alright, fine,” he says, stepping away from you to adjust his lens for the lighting. You lean onto the railing with you elbow, giving him a smile when you look towards his camera. He snaps the picture twice and the flash momentarily blinds you. He looks back at his view finder and you step to him to see it.
“See, a treasure,” you say.
He nods slowly before looking down at you, “Definitely.”
You feel yourself stepping closer to him, leaning up to get a full view of his face. You bite your lip as he leans down, your noses brushing together before you step back.
“Wait… so you don’t have a soulmate?” You keep your voice low and hesitant.
He shakes his head, “No,” he says, “See.” He shows his wrists and in between his fingers and nothing. You do the same for him, moving your bracelets and watch back. He gives you a small smirk before leaning down to close the gap between the two of you. You inhale his clean scent as you push up on your toes to deepen the kiss. With your hand that isn’t occupied you bring it to the side of his face to caress his skin. His lips are so fucking soft and you whine as he pulls away.
“I would ask you to go home with me but I think you’re too drunk,” he says honestly and you furrow your eyebrows at him with a sad pout.
“Hey I’m fine,” you defend yourself.
“I just don’t want you to think I’m that type of guy,” he says, “I’m pretty far from that.”
His words are sweet and considerate and you’re not sure any guy you have met that would be in this position to not jump straight into your pants. As much as you wouldn’t mind Jungkook to do that—you could see where he was coming from. Besides, you were really drunk and really tired so you probably wouldn’t even get off which would defeat the purpose of getting laid.
“Jungkook I know, I can see that,” you tell him before you bite your lip again, “But I am a great cuddlier if that has any weight?”
A large smile falls on his lips and his nose scrunches up from giggling. “Alright, you’re the big spoon though,” he deadpans.
You roll your eyes, “We’ll see about that.” Jungkook smirks before grabbing your hand for both of you to close out your tabs and head to his place.
.
You wake up the next morning in an unfamiliar, but quite comfortable bed. You blink your eyes slowly to let light in and you stretch your feet our from your fetal position. Once your vision focuses you see that you’re alone underneath a grey duvet and you nearly freak out until you quickly remember your previous evening.
You had got to Jungkook’s place around 12:30 AM and aside from light making out, nothing extreme happened between you two as Jungkook insisted on being sober before going there. He obviously lost the argument about who was going to be the big and little spoon as you both fell asleep comfortably with his arms around your front. Speaking of—where was he?
You push the covers from your body and see you’re dressed in an oversized t-shirt, your clothes neatly folded on his dresser. You memory is slightly fuzzy, unsure if you changed your clothes yourself or if Jungkook dressed you. Heat rushes to you face at the thought. Damn, you hoped you hadn’t seemed desperate but when you were drunk—that tended to happen. Although not as much anymore as random hookups slowed down the older you got as most people were linking up with their destined lovers.
Fuck—you think, you had nearly forgotten perhaps the biggest detail of last night. Jungkook didn’t have a soulmate. The thought made you giddy on the inside. Maybe he was just as fucked up as you were.
You’re about to leave Jungkook’s room until he suddenly appears in the doorway.
“Oh, hey I was just coming to see if you were up,” he gives you a soft smile and you have to scramble your eyes away from his heavily built chest and torso. You find that he has tattoos all the way up his knuckles to his shoulder. Fuck.
“I just woke up,” you mumble stepping towards the door.
“I made some breakfast,” he says reaching towards your hand gently, “I have some medicine too if you’re hungover.”
You smile at him as he pulls you to him to walk you down the short hallway to his kitchen. It smelt of bacon, eggs, and toast—just what you needed.
“Thanks,” you say gratefully as you take a seat on one of his barstools. He slides a plate over to you as well as a bottle of Advil. “You already ate?” You ask him as you begin to dive into the food that will surely settle your rumbling stomach.
“Sorry,” he laughs, “I woke up awhile ago and went for a run so I had to eat.”
You swat your hand not caring, “It’s fine—wait, what time is it?” Your eyes bulge.
He looks at his silver watch, “Almost noon,” he says, his eyes not looking at tired as he probably is.
“Noon?!” You say with a mouthful of bread, “What the hell I never this sleep this late…” you say after swallowing.
“You drank a lot last night Y/N,” he laughs at you and you give him your middle finger. He rests on his hands across from you in the kitchen and you can’t help but notice the veins in his arms. Was the universe really being this good to you? After all this time, giving you access to someone who is this fine and who doesn’t have a partner? You almost couldn’t believe it.
“Sorry if I was annoying, or needy, or anything like that,” you say somewhat embarrassed that Jungkook had to deal with you even though neither of you know each other that well.
His eyes soften, “It’s fine. You were funny.”  
You’ve devoured your plate of food and you hop down from the barstool to clean your plate. Since he cooked, the least you could was put away your mess.
“Oh I’m hilarious,” you give him a snide look before you bump him with your hip to scoot him over so you can wash your plate. He obliges whilst watching your every move. Jungkook seeing you in one of his favorite t-shirts is driving him delirious.
“But seriously though,” your voice cuts his inappropriate train of thought, “If I said anything incriminating, don’t tell anyone,” you give him a side look as you dry your plate. Jungkook laughs before a smirk appears on his face.
“I quite enjoyed your rambling,” he steps closer to you as you turn to look up at him. “It was very… what’s the word… suggestive,” he looks off as if he’s running deep thoughts.
You roll your eyes—yup, definitely horny and needy words were said. Feeling somewhat brave—maybe it was because you weren’t really hungover and the fact that Jungkook is standing there like that in front of you—you step towards him so your chests are touching.
“Maybe you should remind me what I said one day then?” You whisper only so he can hear. He chuckles through his nose before placing one of his hands on your back to pull you flush against him.
“Why not right now?” He says, his nose dipping to touch yours. His eyes are soft but carry a darkness to them you can’t quite read. You give him a small nod before you move your head to place your lips on his. Your mouths mold together like putty slowly before he slips his tongue into your mouth to tease you.  
You pull away quickly, “Wait, don’t you have roommates?” You whisper again looking around the quiet apartment. You noticed how clean it was to be housed by 3 men in their early twenties.
“They’re asleep,” he says, caressing your lower back, his hand begging to go to your ass but he restrains himself. “So you’ll have to be quiet, unlike last night,” he raises an eyebrow at you.
“Challenge accepted,” you grab his face to pull him back down to you to connect your lips once more.
His hands grapple your waist desperately to pull you flush against him. He smells like laundry and cotton, the scent driving you mad. As Jungkook realizes that the two of you are still in his kitchen and Yugyeom or Mingyu could easily come out of their rooms any moment, he pulls away from you and you follow him back into his room. He wastes no time shutting his door and pushing you against it.
You felt yourself growing dizzier by the second as he continued to kiss you with a gentle force that you’ve never experienced before. He was probably the best kisser you’ve ever kissed.  You could tell he wanted to touch you and you wanted him to touch you so you began to trace your hands up his sculpted back and pushing your hips out towards him.
Jungkook now having your permission, one of his hands trail up your thigh to push his t-shirt away from your backside, his large hand massaging the skin carefully and calculated. Suddenly you found his lips on your neck as he pushes your body further into his door.
“Jungkook,” you groaned quietly as he nipped at the sensitive skin. He pulls your thigh up against his leg and you nearly let out a moan when you feel his hardening cock press into your center.
“Fuck,” you breathe out as you let out an experimental roll of your hips against his. Jungkook pulls back with a short chuckle before kissing your lips gently again.
“Quiet,” he laughs again and you push his chest away from yours to get him to sit on the edge of his bed. You crawl onto his lap, straddling his tiny waist and thick thighs. You continued to kiss like no tomorrow before you placed your palm over his center.
“Shit,” he groans into your mouth as you palm him slowly and torturously. “Y/N, wait, are you sure?”  
You pull your hand back and stare down at him with hazy eyes. You nod frantically, “Yes, are you?”
“God yes,” he breathes out and in one smooth motion, he flips you two over with him standing in between your legs. He begins to take his shirt from your body and you happily help him and his eyes immediately go to your breasts, your nipples taut for him.
He kisses you again before kissing down your neck and then down over your boobs, his tongue swirling and his teeth nipping at all the right places. Jungkook finds himself on his knees, right in front of where you need each other most. He spreads your legs a little more before he goes right in to kiss your center over your underwear. Your head falls back as you rest on your hands watching him bite his lip in excitement. You’d never had a guy go down on your the first hookup—you thought you could be in love right now.
His brown eyes glance at you briefly before you nod for him to make sure what he was going was okay. He fingers pull at your underwear and you lift your hips to help him drag the material down your legs. He grabs your hips and pulls your towards him, his mouth going straight to work on you.
You shut your eyes at the feeling unable to keep them open as he laps up and down your slit. He kisses you with hunger and when he finds your clit, the moan that escapes your mouth is loud and embarrassing.
“Oh god, Jungkook,” he smirks against your pussy before continuing to lap at your sensitive bud, his fingers now teasing your entrance.
He slips in one finger, pumping it slowly before entering a second—stretching you just how you need. You fall back on your elbows and your toes curl when you feel an orgasm close approaching.
“Fuck, fuck,” your hips raise as he focuses on your clit, his eyes never leaving your face. He can tell you’re about to come and he’d be damned if he didn’t bring you there. Two more kitten licks send you over the edge and you climax hard having to bite your lip so you don’t make much noise.
Jungkook licks his lips as he comes back to you to kiss you. You welcome him with open arms and you pull him on top of you. You needed him now and the issue in his pants showed he wanted you just as much. You help him push down his sweats and boxers and when you first get sight of his dick, your mouth nearly drops. Okay—the universe was definitely helping you out right now.
You reach down between you, wrapping your hands around his girth to fully harden him. He sucks in a deep breath when you pull and tug at his sensitive skin. You take his pre cum on your thumb and rub it around to make the slip easier. His forehead falls against your shoulder as you continue to jerk him off. His breathing increases as each pull comes from your hand and he’ quickly pushing your hand away.
“I wanna be inside you baby,” he says and it sends a shockwave through your core.
Jungkook finds a condom from his side table and rolls it on quickly. He positions himself between you, his nose brushing against yours as he pecks your lips.
“Ready?” He asks you as he guides his tip into you. Both of your mouths fall agape, a small whine coming from Jungkook’s throat as he pushes deeper into you. “Fuck—Y/N, you’re so tight.”
You lift your hips to help him get as deep as possible and when he bottoms out, you’re unsure if you’ve ever felt this full your entire life. His forehead falls against your shoulder once more and he kisses your exposed skin gently as he starts to slowly thrust in and out of you.
He feels more than amazing and your whole body feels on fire.
“Jungkook,” you breathe out as you wrap your legs around his back, “Faster, please.” You don’t care about sounding desperate.
He sits up on his elbows and obeys, snapping his hips against you harder and quicker. You hold onto his cheeks, your fingertips pulling at his hair and neither of you can be quiet now.
“Shit,” he marvels at the way he disappears inside of you, your cunt squeezing around him so he won’t leave.
“Jungkook—ah,” he hits your deepest spot in you and he sticks his thumb in your mouth to bite down on to shut you up. His other fingers grip the side of your neck and you feel like you could pass out from his ministrations.
“I’m not gonna last much longer,” he whispers in your ear and you nod pulling his face down to you, snapping your hips to meet up with his. You found yourself clenching around his cock as Jungkook’s breaths get shakier and shakier. “Fuck Y/N.”
“Don’t stop,” you managed to get out as he hammered you into his mattress, hitting your g-spot perfectly—another orgasm quickly coming into your system. Jungkook’s face was contorted and tortured as he chased his high deep inside of you. “Come on Jungkook,” you whisper beside his ear and he lifts his head up, crashing his lips onto yours.
Between your desperate attempts to be quiet and Jungkook’s relentless pace, you come again around his cock fast and hard, pulsating around him in spurts.
“Ah—fuck,” Jungkook’s hips ram into yours deeply as he finally finds his release. He collapses on top of your frame, his elbows the only thing holding him up. He pulls himself out of you a moment later, but he doesn’t move his body from above you.
Both of you are breathing heavy, it being the only sound radiating in the room. You caress  the right side of his face, pushing his bangs away from his forehead. He leans into your touch with a small smile before kissing your wrist gently. He then rolls his body from yours, discarding of his condom quickly.
You both turn to each other as Jungkook throws an arm lazily around your waist.
“Are you even real?” His deep voice suddenly says with his eyes closed. You give him a sheepish smile as he opens his eyes.
“The universe is fucking funny huh?” You say and Jungkook laughs deep within his chest.
“Very funny,” he mumbles before watching your face intently.
“Now what?” You ask obliviously. Sure, you had your hookups on and off before but with Jungkook—something felt different—in a good way. Like he wasn’t supposed to be a hookup—but something more.
He shrugs, “Whatever you wanna be.”
You bite your lip hesitating before saying, “I know you just got out of a relationship so I don’t want you to feel rushed or anything.”
“It’s fine Y/N,” he gives you a small smile, “I’m fine with whatever you’re fine with. As long as you don’t break my heart.”
You laugh, swatting at his chest playfully, “You mean as long as you don’t break my heart.”
He smirks, “Deal.”
.
You meet with Namjoon and Jungkook the following week to begin working on your project. You three decided on meeting in the library after all of your classes were over for the day to keep it convenient. You and Jungkook finished around the same time and ended up grabbing some food before heading out to the library. It had not been that long since you and Jungkook hooked up and you two began to text and Snapchat each other everyday. Your friendship with Jungkook hadn’t changed in any way as you two didn’t officially have a label yet, but now one look at him sent you weak to the knees.  
“You guys seriously couldn’t wait for me to get food?!” Namjoon shows up on the second floor of the library around 6:25 PM. You and Jungkook laugh at him as he sits down. He looks exhausted.
“Rough day?” You ask him as he sits down from across from you and Jungkook.
He lets out a deep sigh, “Have you ever amputated a finger before?”
You and Jungkook give each other an odd glance before scrunching your nose, “No, what the fuck?” Jungkook mutters.
Namjoon gives you a straight smile, “Well how about 4 fingers? That was my day summed up and I still think I’m queasy,” he shakes his head slowly.
You furrow your eyebrows at him, “Joon, don’t you wanna be a doctor?”
“Family medicine, not surgery or anything gross like that,” he explains and that makes much more sense—though I’m sure Namjoon knows medical school has a lot more than family medicine waiting for him.
“Gotcha,” you pull up the documents you have saved for your research on your computer. Under the table, Jungkook nudges your knee with his and you have to fight the urge to smile.
Namjoon watches, the two of you oblivious.
“You look happy,” he says. Jungkook looks up from his phone and you from your screen.
“Who?” You and Jungkook same at the same time.
Namjoon narrows his eyes, “Both of you… strange,” he licks his lips pondering on his words.
You glance at Jungkook before turning back to your screen, not wanting to be caught in his stare.
“Am I not allowed to be in a good mood?” Jungkook laughs sarcastically.
You bite your lip trying to suppress your smile. Sure, you and Jungkook had hooked up once or twice now and you two were slowly getting to know each other more everyday—but you swore the butterflies in your stomach told you something was special about him.
“I mean, you’re just always so quiet… and—hey why are you laughing?” Namjoon looks at you with a serious expression.
“I’m not laughing,” you say, biting the inside of your cheek.
“Yeah Y/N, quit laughing,” Jungkook says, nudging your leg under the table again.
“God I’m gonna get queasy again,” Namjoon’s face contorts, his eyes darting between the two of you, “Since when do you two flirt with each other? In front of me?”
Once again, you keep your eyes away from Jungkook, “We’re not flirting,” you say monotonously.
Namjoon looks at Jungkook since you refuse to meet anyone’s gaze. Namjoon raises his  eyebrows at his friend curiously, an unspoken language going between them. Jungkook smirks before giving you one last glance before he says—
“Y/N and I hooked up.”
Your eyes widen instantly at Jungkook’s words and you whip your head to turn towards him.
“Jungkook what the fuck! I thought we weren’t gonna tell anyone!” Your words give away to Namjoon that Jungkook wasn’t bluffing.
Jungkook’s eyes soften looking at you, “Come on, his crazy ass was onto us anyways,” he motions towards Namjoon.
“Yeah, uh huh. I knew something was off when Jungkook’s ears kept going red every time he looked at you,” Namjoon slowly starts to smile, “How disgusting is that.”
You flip him off, “Well, don’t tell anyone.”  
“So,” Namjoon pauses, “You guys aren’t…?” He trails his question off and both of you know what he wants to say. Soulmates.
Slowly, you both shake your head. Namjoon is slightly confused himself. Normally by 18 years old people have their other half assigned to them—him included. His partner’s name appeared on the inside of his palm when he was 15. But you and Jungkook were almost 22?
“Do you guys have one? That you just haven’t met yet?” Namjoon keeps his question low.
Again, you both shake your heads. Wow, Namjoon thinks. An idea suddenly pops into his head.
“Wait so—I have an idea,” Namjoon’s eyes light up.
“Oh god,” Jungkook mumbles.
“So if you guys don’t have partners and you two keep… doing it,” he pauses with a laugh, “Couldn’t we use your experience in our project?”
It takes a few moments for Namjoon’s words to register as your mouth falls agape. Jungkook pinches the bridge of his nose, unsure if he heard Namjoon correctly.
“Hyung, didn’t you just hear her say not to tell anyone?” Jungkook deadpans.
“I mean we don’t have to specify names,” Namjoon quickly elaborates, “I mean you guys did some research right? You’ve read all the horrible stuff that happens to people who go against nature.”
Yeah, you did read about that stuff and it absolutely terrified you. But even after hooking up with Jungkook and other suitors in your life—nothing bad had happened to you, so if anything, this research exists to only frighten people.
“Namjoon, I get what you’re saying but—I don’t know, we might not even hook up again,” you laugh waving your hand off.
“Wait, why not?” Jungkook’s voice suddenly goes to a higher pitch, his eyes looking at you quickly. Namjoon chuckles at the exchange. Namjoon had known Jungkook a long time and he’s never seen him want this much validation from a female—ever.
“I mean,” you pause looking at the dark haired boy beside you, “I didn’t know if—“
“Yeah yeah, work out this shit later,” Namjoon interrupts, “But I don’t know, just something to keep in mind over the rest of the semester.”
With that, the conversation ended and the three of you managed to begin typing up your report. Occasionally, you would bump Jungkook’s knee here and there just to see his reaction. He would smile although not sparing a glance at you. By the end of your study session, all three of you got a good start on the project and Jungkook’s hand rested on your thigh the whole night and you knew it didn’t belong anywhere else.
.
Weeks later, yours and Jungkook’s relationship became slightly more complicated. While you two managed to stay cordial in class and hide whatever the hell was going on between you two—once you two were alone, all bets were fucking off. Jungkook would come to your place or you would go to his when his roommates were out and he would fuck you into the mattress until you were nearly screaming. It was good—he was good—and quickly you felt yourself starting to catch feelings for him. You knew that was dangerous territory considering a name might pop up on your body any day, so as hard as it was, you repressed your feelings for him. You were unsure of how Jungkook felt. As better as he was at talking now and he did trust you, he wasn’t one for deep talk unless he had a few glasses of wine in his system. You were fine with that though, knowing it was probably for the better.
You had thought everything was going good—Jungkook, classes, exams, your project, keeping up with Taehyung and Jimin—until it all came crashing down one afternoon at your apartment.
It was a Friday afternoon and you had invited Jungkook over to… well… get your brains fucked out. You like to think you are a smart girl but today, you were being a grade ass dumbass because you had completely forgotten about your lunch date with Taehyung and Jimin.
Normally, Taehyung wouldn’t have cared if you had missed one day with him but as your best friend of years and years—he noticed something had been off with you lately. Slightly more… flakey than normal. Jimin noticed it too. So when Taehyung found himself outside of your apartment that Friday afternoon, what he saw—shook him to his core.
You and Jungkook had just gotten out of the shower after going at it like bunnies for a good hour. He couldn’t keep his hands off of you, placing his lips around yours and down your neck, leaving barely there marks behind of your ears.
“Jungkook—stop,” you push his bare chest away as you heard someone knocking on your door. He gives you a shit-eating grin, staying back in the hallway as you go to the door, holding the towel up around your body tight.
You open the door and your face fell instantly. Fuck.
“Taehyung? Jimin?” Your voice shakes, “W-what are you doing here?”
Without any warning Taehyung and Jimin step into your apartment and you begin to panic.
“What the hell Y/N, you’ve bailed on us without explanation three times now!” Taehyung says dramatically, “I mean damn I know Jimin and I are disgusting sometimes but the least you can do is give a heads—what’s that?” Taehyung’s eyes land on your neck and you step away from him, holding your towel closer to you.
“N-nothing,” you stutter. “I’m s-sorry I forgot about lunch, I’ve been really busy lately,” your excuse is lame, but you have nothing else.
“Busy?” Taehyung says eyeing you up and down, “I can see that.”
“Y/N hey where is—“ your eyes roll into the back of your head as Jungkook enters your living room at just the wrong time. No, he didn’t know it was Taehyung and Jimin, but it still doesn’t make you happy. Especially since he’s just wearing sweatpants, his hair wet like yours, compromising your secret.
“Whoa,” Jimin suddenly laughs looking at the scene. “This the quiet one?” He points over at Jungkook. Jungkook pouts—what are they talking about?—he thinks to himself.
“Holy shit Y/N what are you doing?” Taehyung doesn’t seem as enthusiastic. He looks over at Jungkook and you swear you see Taehyung salivate inside his mouth, “I mean I get why you’re doing it but, c’mon isn’t this risky?”
“I know you’re probably confused,” you bite your lip nervously. “I shouldn’t have kept this from you.”
“Yeah no shit,” he genuinely seems angry, an emotion not common to him. “We’re best friends Y/N.”
“Tae, c’mon it’s really none of our business,” Jimin steps in trying to help you out.
“It is too my business when he could potentially hurt her,” Taehyung crosses his arms. Jungkook seems taken aback by his comment and he steps towards you from behind.
“I mean I like her,” Jungkook’s voice quickly speaks up, startling you from behind. You turn your body to look at him, his eyes meeting yours.
“You do?” Your voice comes out in a squeak, a smile spreading on your face like a wildfire.
“You do?” Taehyung asks this time, looking between you two. He looks at his partner Jimin who specializes in this stuff. Jimin nods at Taehyung for reassurance.
“Yeah, a lot actually,” Jungkook steps closer to you, throwing an arm around your shoulder to pull you close to his chest. You try to hide your embarrassingly huge smile.
Taehyung’s body visibly falters, his eyes going back to his usual soft gaze. Taehyung knew you deserved happiness and if Jungkook made you happy—who was he to stop that?
“I’m sorry again for keeping this from you, it’s just we didn’t want…”
“No I get it,” he nods, “But don’t do that shit again,” he gives you a smile. As warm as Jungkook’s embrace is, you step away and give yourself to Taehyung’s arms.
“You’re the best,” you mumble into his chest.
“Bitch, I know,” his chest rumbles against yours. Jungkook watches you and Taehyung embrace, his heart swelling. Goddamn—maybe he is in a little too deep. At this point, he doesn’t care though. If anything, he wants to make you happy and he’d be damned to let the universe stop that.
.
It was officially Halloween. Nearly three months after you and Jungkook first crossed paths and met, the two of you were also “official”. Neither of you can recall the exact date it happened, but it was not long after Taehyung and Jimin busted you two. You and Jungkook had decided to not tell that many people outside of your inner circle—neither of you wanting to deal with the glares and questions. You didn’t have a name attached on your body and he didn’t either, so what were you guys doing wrong? Nothing. He was yours and you were his and you haven’t been this happy in a long time.
Jungkook, though his Virgo nature being quite selfish sometimes, was always sweet, caring, checking in on you, surprising you with flowers, genuine, and opened up some of his deepest fears to you. You had been on cloud nine for months all because of him. You had probably thanked Namjoon at least six different occasions for dragging you over to meet them way back when. Namjoon was happy for you two—though being as quizzical as he was—he had his concerns, though he never outright voiced them.
Jimin being how he was, had his concerns too. Everyone around you and Jungkook saw how you two were infatuated around each other. Jimin had never seen two people who weren’t soulmates have the connection you two had. It worried him for many reasons, which is why he’s voicing them to Taehyung right now.
“Babe, I don’t know,” Jimin says as him and Taehyung somehow got on the topic of you and Jungkook. “Don’t you think they’re moving really fast?” He questions.
Taehyung looks at his partner, a confused expression crossing his features, “Why do you say that? As long as Y/N is happy, I don’t really care who dicks her down at night, soulmate or not.”
Jimin lets out a laugh before shaking his head, “I mean, in all my case studies I’ve never seen two people like that.”
Taehyung deadpans his boyfriend, “Jimin, you of all people should know that’s not true.”
Jimin nods, immediately understanding where he is coming from. “I know. I’m just worried one of them will get hurt. A name is destined to show up on them eventually.”
Taehyung grinds his teeth, “Y/N has never been one to feed into that stuff so I’m not sure she would care anyways.”
“But she should Tae,” Jimin says, “Jungkook too. I mean there’s serious repercussions to messing with nature.”
“Well they’re fine now, aren’t they?” by Taehyung’s response—Jimin isn’t even sure if he full listening to him. Taehyung being good with numbers and business, he doesn’t fully grasp the concepts of soulmates like Jimin does. For Jimin—it’s his studies, his passion, his life.
“Yeah but—“ Jimin gets cut off by a harsh knock on his apartment door.
“They’re here,” Taehyung smiles walking over to get the door, “Don’t say anything sketch okay?” he warns Jimin as he opens the door.
You nearly fall on your ass as Taehyung opens the door. Jungkook pulls you back with a laugh as you walk into Jimin’s apartment.
“Tae! Chim!” You smile widely, throwing your arms around Taehyung’s neck tightly. You stumble in your heels and Taehyung’s hands steady you, a rumble in his chest.
“Jesus Y/N. How much have you drank already?” He exasperates, glancing over at Jungkook.
“I told her to slow down,” Jungkook puts his hands up in defense. You giggle letting go of your friend to quickly hug Jimin too. “She doesn’t listen to me,” he adds with a laugh.
“I’m fine guys,” you say glancing at Taehyung’s and Jimin’s costumes.”Really? Pirates?”  
“Hey!” Taehyung defends, “How much more cliché could you two get? A doctor and a nurse?!”
You glance over at Jungkook in his scrubs and white coat and down your body. A slutty red and white nurse’s uniform complete with thigh highs hug your figure and you quite liked it, mainly because watching Jungkook shift uncomfortably every time he glanced at you made you feel accomplished.
“Hey, we look hot,” you point at Taehyung’s chest, stumbling backwards again. Jungkook decides to pull you to his side, not wanting you to fall on your ass for real this time.
“Come on babe, slow down,” Jungkook mumbles as he wraps his arms around your front, glancing down your cleavage from behind. You nudge his stomach with your elbow.
“I’m a big girl,” you pout, “So are we going or what?”
“Yeah, just waiting on the address,” Jimin smiles waving his phone in the air.
A few moments pass, chatter between the four of you ensues. You loved your little group. Taehyung and Jimin welcomed Jungkook with open arms, the four of you going out on double dates, grabbing coffee, watching movies, and studying all became weekly occurrences. You were always so scared to dive into another relationship given your age and circumstance, but you swore that someway and somehow—you and Jungkook were meant to be together.
Twenty minutes later, the four of you step out of your Uber and make your way towards the new bar that opened near your campus. It was opening weekend and a Halloween party was obviously necessary. You held onto Jungkook’s hand tightly as you made your way inside the crowded area. You immediately aimed your way to the bar, ordering a vodka-soda, Jungkook ordering some soju.
“Don’t blackout on me now,” Jungkook raises an eyebrow at you, watching the way you take a huge sip of your drink.
“I said I’m a big girl,” you stand your ground, “I bet I can put away twice as many drinks as you.”
“Don’t listen to her Jungkook,” Taehyung says grabbing his own mixed drink, “She likes to spit nonsense when she’s drunk.”
“Oh trust me, I know,” he smirks at you and roll your eyes at him. Jungkook leans down and you peck his lips lightly—the same butterflies swirling in your stomach all these months later. Jimin watches the interaction closely. He knows exactly how you and Jungkook feels, but he still can’t shake the uneasiness deep in his gut.
“Come on, let’s dance,” you smile up at your boyfriend tugging on his arm. The music was loud and good, you were not just going to stand around. Jungkook nods quickly as you finish your drink, leaving Taehyung and Jimin behind at the bar.
Your heels made you more even with Jungkook’s height tonight as you threw your arms around his shoulders to pull him closer to you. His hands grip you waist tightly, wanting every guy here to know that you were his. For some reason, for whatever fucking reason—Jungkook felt inclined to protect you. As you sing whatever song was playing loudly, Jungkook found himself smiling and laughing at you. His chest twisted and his heart thumped. He still pinched himself when he woke up in the mornings. How did he get so lucky in this fucked world of destiny? If you weren’t meant for him, then who was?
You turn around pushing your back to his front. He holds you close as you both sway to the music as if it’s only you and him against the world. He smiles into your neck, kissing your delicate skin once in awhile. He spins you out from him and spins you back in quickly, your mind going dizzy.
“Hey careful,” you whine as you turn to him once again, “I’m drunk you know.”
“I thought you were a big girl,” he teases you and you narrow your eyes at him.
“Maybe not when I’m drunk,” you yell-whisper into his ear. He laughs, pulling you into a kiss. To any wondering eye, it would look as if you two were soulmates among other destined couples. Maybe that was the point? To fake it and then it becomes real?
Your heart swells at the thought. Jungkook studies your face intently, knowing that uttering his next words could be real dangerous but when you flash your gorgeous smile at him—he knows he has to say it.
“Wanna know a secret?” He asks.
“Sure.”
“I love you,” the words spill from his mouth. Your movements stop and you swear your drunkeness subsides momentarily.
“W-what?” You stutter. Did you hear him correctly?
“I know we’re drunk and this isn’t the best time but yeah,” he nods, “I love you Y/N.”
You head spins and you heart drops into your stomach. A smile creeps up onto your face.
“Really?” you ask, your eyes similar to those of a puppy. Jungkook nods, biting his lip. Will you say it back? “Thank fucking god, I thought I was the only one,” you say dramatically.
He furrows his eyebrows, chuckling, “Really?”
“Jeon Jungkook I fucking love you too,” you say, “I was waiting on you to say it.”
Once again he laughs, “Babe you can’t wait on stuff, you gotta go after what you want.”
“Well I already have you, don’t I?” You point out, “Come on, let’s go home.”
“Why? We’ve have one drink babe,” he says as you’re tugging on his hand.
“I know,” you look at him with a devilish smirk, “But I wanna fuck you and I’m not doing that in this bar.”
Jungkook’s face falls, blood rushing to his cock. “Fair enough.”
.
November is cold, which means December is going to be even colder. The days get shorter and your nights get longer as you try to prepare for finals in the next few weeks. Currently you’re bundled in two layers of clothing in the back of the library with Namjoon, adding the finishing touches on your final project that’s also due soon. Jungkook had to attend a seminar for one of his classes this evening which is why he’s MIA.
“Lucky shit,” Namjoon remarks when you explain your boyfriend’s absence. It was still strange to refer to him as your boyfriend.
“Would you honestly want to be lectured about how building muscles in the key to life right now?” You raise an eyebrow at him pointedly. Jungkook could even admit as a sports medicine major some of the people and things he learns about is absolute horseshit.
Namjoon laughs, “Touche.”
You’re working on the presentation aspect of you project while Namjoon is typing away at the research paper. As much as you despised the soulmate hoopla, reading about this stuff was very interesting. You had read how soulmates are apparently linked and of course, there is truly only one person meant for you. You rolled your eyes at these statements. If that was true, then why have you still not been given a name? There were so many questions that were just unanswerable that you couldn’t get over. Sure, the soulmate thing worked for some you couldn’t lie about that. At the end of the day though, perhaps you were one of the lucky ones—not bound by a name and given free reign over who is in the same spot as you.
“How’s everything going with you two by the way?” Namjoon asks curiously. His eyes haven’t left his computer screen so you oppose looking back at him when you answer.
“Good,” you smile slightly, “It’s still weird to think that we’re together,” you laugh at your statement.
He smiles to himself, “Weird for you? How about weird for me? I introduced the two of you being Jungkook is shy twat.”
“I know, I know,” you reach across the table and squeeze Namjoon’s hand playfully, “Which is why I’ve thanked you how many times now?”
“Yeah yeah, you only. Jungkook hasn’t given me his thanks yet.”
“I wouldn’t expect him too.”
“Trust me, I’m not,” he smiles with another stifled laugh as you two try to keep quiet. “So nothing’s really happened between you two?”
He’s referring to your project which you hastily agreed on letting yours and Jungkook’s “experience” to be first hand research.
You shake your head, “No. By the fifth time we had sex I was expecting to “feel excruciating pain deep within my chest as the universe tries to pull me away” him,” you quote one of the claims made by a well-known and well respected researcher. It was almost comical—how could anyone believe this stuff?
“Okay, TMI,” he puts his hands up.
“Hey this was your idea,” you remind him.
“It’s just wild to me,” he says, “I mean we grow up thinking there’s someone out there only meant for us and you and Jungkook… just don’t have one?” He looks off in the distance and you’re not sure if you should be offended by his statement—though Namjoon is a realist and he’s very logical so everything he’s saying is true.
“We have each other,” you shrug, “That’s good enough for me. I love him for who he is,” you almost feel heat coming to your face but you push it down.
“That’s how I feel about Kaya,” he almost smiles.
You look at him curiously—Namjoon hardly ever speaks of his soulmate. They’ve been together for a long time but she goes to university a couple hours from here so they don’t get to see each other as often as they would like.
“Can I see?” You whisper. He furrows his eyebrows, confused. “Your mark, I mean.”
Namjoon looks down at his left hand before nodding, opening his palm for you. In faint white writing, almost skin color—is the name Kaya in beautiful cursive. It makes your heart strings feel heavy for a moment. You knew you didn’t need a name to find love but you had always been curious about what it would be like to dawn one.
“Did it hurt? When it showed up?”
He shakes his head, “Not really, just kind like a little sting.”
“Why do you think I don’t have one? And Jungkook too?”
Your question catches him off guard. Honestly if anyone could answer this question, it was Park Jimin but he obviously wasn’t here. Namjoon was smart though—maybe he had good theories.
“I honestly don’t know,” he says softly, “I feel all the research of this stuff only applies for people who have one.”
You snort, “Right.”
“I mean you can never say never though,” he shakes his head, “Just because society has said before eighteen, that could be bullshit for all we know. You saw how in some of these articles, some names showed up in people’s early and mid-twenties too.”
“Yeah… and then what?”
“What do you mean?” He asks.
“It’s just seems so unfair that I can see Jungkook in my life after college and that could be taken away so easily. Or I could be taken away from him… it’s just so fucked don’t you think?” You don’t even realize how shaky your tone is, but Namjoon picks it up.
“Are you worried about that?”
Your mouth goes dry, “I like to think he’s the one for me,” you say after a few seconds of silence.
He bites his lip, unsure of what to say next, “Well maybe he is,” he offers trying to lighten your mood.
You look down at your hands, inspecting your wrist and fingers carefully. Your stomach churns at your next thought.
“And what if he isn’t?” You glance back to find his eyes staring holes into you.
“Then it wasn’t meant to be. I’d like to think the universe isn’t wrong.”
You nod slowly taking in his words. Sure you and Jungkook had been official for awhile now and you hoped that this feeling with him would never end. You liked to think the universe isn’t wrong either and maybe that’s why you and Jungkook found each other—cause it was meant to be.
Yours and Namjoon’s conversation stuck with you the rest of the evening. Jungkook had picked you up from the library in his black Mercedes around 8 PM. Even though it was a Wednesday, you and Jungkook had been staying at each other’s places more often than not. With your only roommate being away in Europe for study abroad, it was nice having him stay with you.
Jungkook noticed something was bothering you as he drove back to your place as you didn’t say much to him. You gripped his hand tightly in yours but the way your eyes didn’t meet his— it worried him. He became even more worried when you didn’t want to eat dinner after he had picked up your favorite takeout. It was his treat to you since he was unable to come to the library tonight.
“I’m just not that hungry,” you said pushing around the Chinese food with your chopsticks. You were both sat on your couch, your feet up in his lap watching some romantic-comedy TV show—Jungkook’s choosing—not yours.
“You’re always hungry,” he says poking at your leg to try to get a smile from you. Nothing. He furrows his eyebrows at you though you don’t even notice it as you’re looking away from him.
“What’s up babe?” Jungkook’s question takes you out of your thoughts. Were you that obvious?
“Hm?” You glance at him, trying to play your emotions off.
“You’re just being so… quiet?” He says softly, setting down his plate on the coffee table. He shifts his body to your frame, a hand holding up his head on the back of the couch.
“I don’t know,” you mumble, “Just have a lot on my mind.”
“Y/N you can tell me anything you know,” he rubs the back of your calves. The motion alone relaxes you significantly and you still don’t know how someone has this affect over you.
You pause, unsure if you should voice your worries to him. Would they cause problems between you two if you said what you were actually thinking? Was Namjoon right? “It’s just Namjoon and I were talking tonight and—“
“What did he say to you?” Jungkook quickly interrupts with a harsh tone. As much as Jungkook loved Namjoon like a brother—he was too brash and sometimes that lead to hurt feelings.
“It’s nothing he said it just got me thinking,” you shake your head aimlessly, looking behind Jungkook’s head at the wall.  He doesn’t say anything wanting you to continue. “Don’t you worry about the future?”
Jungkook purses his lips, thinking deeply about your question before answering honestly.
“Everyday,” he says, “But I like to live for now, in the present… why are you asking?”
“What are we supposed to do if we’re separated, huh?” The words tumble from your mouth, your tone not the sweetest. You tense up in Jungkook’s hands and he notices your demeanor quickly changing.
“Why are you saying that Y/N?” His voice is confused and heavy.
“Because I fucking love you Jungkook and I don’t want you taken away from me, that’s why,” you let out a deep breath, pushing yourself up and off the couch. Jungkook watches you as you stand up and walk towards the kitchen. You’re clearly distressed about something. Slowly, he rises to his feet sauntering over to your frame that’s staring down at the sink.
“Y/N,” his voice is low behind you. Your knuckles are nearly white from gripping the side of the counter so hard. You felt tears pricking in your eyes that you had to force away. Jungkook wraps his arms around your front and you lean back into his frame.
He rests his head on your shoulder, “Baby I get it, okay? I know it’s scary not knowing what the hell is wrong with people like us—“
“That’s the problem Jungkook,” you say, “There’s something wrong with us and it’s fucked up. How do we know that this, us, is okay?”
“Listen I know you don’t believe in destiny and all that stuff but,” he pauses nuzzling into your neck, “But I do and I feel like if this, us—isn’t meant to be, then what is?”
You lean your head on his before you reluctantly turn your body around, your hands sliding behind his torso.
“How are you so sure?” You mutter meeting his gaze. His eyes are worried for you but still deep down, they have a light and wonder you’ve never fully understood.
He gives you a tiny smile, brushing his nose against yours, “Because I love you, okay? Like I’ve never loved anyone more before, I promise you, we’ll be fine. You will be fine.”
The weight from your shoulders is lifted as Jungkook’s words reassure you. He had such a hopeless romantic complex about him, you were sure he knew everything right to say to make you feel better. He was right—the odds of you two being this late in the game and meeting can’t be coincidental. He was yours and you were his—that’s all that mattered.
“Are you good now?” He raises his eyebrows at you and you nod against his forehead, leaning forward to peck his lips.
“Much better,” you then say. Jungkook chases his mouth with yours again before pulling away after a brief kiss.
“Good because I had something important to ask you anyways,” he says giving you some space.
Your eyes bulge, a worried look instantly spreading on your features, “You’re not asking me to marry you, are you? After what we just—“
He shakes his head with a laugh, “No, not right now at least,” he continues to laugh and your heart lurches at the thought. “But I was gonna ask if you wanted to come to Busan with me, for Christmas?”
You are taken aback by his question, your mouth parting unsure of what to say.
“Like go home with you?” He nods at your question, “And meet your family?” He nods again.
“I know we haven’t been together that long but I’d figure I would offer,” he shrugs.
“Do your parents know about us?”
“I mentioned someone to them on the phone the other day.”
“Do they know the full situation?” you ponder. You two weren’t soulmates and meeting parents was a huge step.
“No,” he says, “But that doesn’t mean we can’t fake it,” a smirk spreads on his lips.
“Jungkook, I don’t know if that’s the best idea.”
“None of my ideas are the best ideas let’s be real,” he chuckles, “And I’m not saying you have to go, but if you want to the offer is there.”
You bite your lip as your eyes meet. The stove light was shining on his face so his small scar was prominent. It would be nice you suppose, meeting his brother who gave him that scar and his parents too. You had never met any of your significant other’s parents—Jungkook really must believe in you two then.
“I’ll think about it,” you smile up at him, squeezing your arms tightly around his frame. He nods before leaning down, kissing you once again gently. Your night ends with you finally eating your food and Jungkook in your bed making you feel better than anyone ever has. It was perfect.
WINTER
“And how, may I ask,” your professor’s voice is the first to ask a question when you are done speaking, “Did the three of you manage to maintain data regarding the intimacy of two people whose souls are not bound yet?”
Your eyes flicker over to Namjoon and Jungkook. You’re about to respond but Namjoon beats you to it.
“Professor Jung, we know it can seem like we made up part of our research but,” he pauses, “But we trust the individuals who relayed us this information in the past three months and out of respect for them… we ask for you not to probe too much.”
Your professor’s eyebrows raise at Namjoon’s comment. His eyes flicker between the three of you, unable to decipher Namjoon’s passive aggressiveness. You were thankful he decided to answer the question, because you’re sure that you would have been too nice about it. Why can’t this jackass just take the information you are presenting and shove it up his ass?  
“I see,” he breathes in deeply, “It just seems very hard for me to wrap my head around the argument that you’ve presented, when there’s so much research saying the opposite. The effects of intimacy is sacred for soul bonded people. Horrible illnesses and other things can happen to these people that go against nature.”
“It does seem that way professor,” you chime in, “But perhaps it’s time for new, more in-depth research to be done on this subject. These independent relationships may not work for everyone but in this case—it has.”
He chews on the end of his pen, “I agree wholeheartedly and though I still have my doubts about your research, I cannot deny the three of you have presented me with a topic that no one ever has before. The psychology behind soul-binding, sex, and relationships is amazing and endless… and isn’t the point of life to ask questions?” He seems to have lost somewhat focus on the three of you. What an idiot.  
“Exactly,” Jungkook nods sending you a quick wink. You chew on your bottom lip to avoid from grinning. “As they say, we learn something new everyday.”
“That you are correct Mr. Jeon,” he say points to your boyfriend. “Well, I think you three have presented a wonderful project and I look forward to reading your research paper for further depth. Expect a grade by the end of the week. Thank you, it was… mostly a pleasure having you in my class,” his eyes glance at you briefly and it takes all of you not to launch at him over his stupidly expensive desk.
“Thank you professor. Have a good winter break,” Namjoon smiles. The three of you leave the small conference room attached to his office. Thankfully, you did not have to present your project in front of the entire class.
You let out a groan of relief when the cold winter air welcomes you outside. “Thank god that’s over!” You smile up at the sky.
Jungkook throws an arm around your shoulder to pull you in close, “What grade do you think we’ll get hyung?” He smiles at Namjoon who is digging around for his phone.
“Hopefully an A. With the bullshit you were feeding him? I think he loved it, he was just being a hardass because of Y/N,” he motions to you.
You’re mouth falls open, “Hey! It’s not my fault he doesn’t like me! He’s a raging psychotic sexist,” you huff crossing your arms over you.
“Uh huh,” Namjoon hums, “First day straggler.”
You narrow your eyes at him before Jungkook nudges you, “C’mon I’m freezing, let’s go home,” he whines and you give him a small nod.  
“I’ll see you after break?” You ask the dimpled man in front of you.
He smiles, “Yeah for sure. But I gotta go—I have a plane to catch later tonight.”
“Where are you going?” This is even news to Jungkook.
“Oh, Kaya and I are going to Europe for two weeks, should be fun,” he looks down at his phone, “Oh shit, yeah I gotta go, Merry Christmas!” He waves at you two before running off in the opposite direction to the bus stop.
“Europe? I wanna go to Europe,��� you pout looking up at Jungkook. He gives you a peck on the lips, your pout irrespective.
“We’ll go one day. It’s fun,” he says as you two begin to walk towards the student parking lot.
“You’ve been?”
“A few countries there, yeah,” he nods intertwining your fingers. Jeez, the amount of things and places Jungkook has been in his 22 years made your life look boring as hell. “Like I said, we’ll go—I promise,” is the last thing he says before you two get into his car.
The car ride is mostly a comfortable silence on the way to your place. His hand rests on your thigh, holding you tighter whenever he takes a turn.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come with me?” Jungkook asks suddenly getting your attention.
“It’s not that I don’t want to Jungkook,” you say, “It’s just Taehyung said he was going to be here by himself all break and when he asked, I felt bad.”
He pouts giving you a glance, “I know but I’ll be lonelyyy,” he drags out.
“You have your whole family babe,” you laugh at his childish demeanor.
“Yeah but I’m not exactly into cuddling my brother when I go to sleep,” he mutters and you swat his arm. “And you’re telling me I have to go two weeks without having sex?!”
“Jungkook,” you roll your eyes with a laugh, “You’re starting to sound like Professor Jung with your concerns about sex.”
“Duh,” he says, “Why do you think I liked him so much?”
“I hate you,” you deadpan and you gives you a shit-eating grin.
“I love you too.”
.
The next couple days Jungkook stays at your place completely, not wanting to leave your side before he has to go to Busan for two weeks. He was very disappointed that you didn’t want to go to Busan with him, but he knew Taehyung was your best friend and you were bound to do anything for him.
“I can’t believe you’re trusting me with your car,” you say pulling into the train station parking garage. His Mercedes was a low-ground sports car, complete with a V8 engine and custom leather seats. You were still blown away that Jungkook had this car in college. You assumed that his parents must have money because you didn’t know how else to explain it.
Jungkook was nervous watching you drive his baby. When you would press on the gas or the breaks a little too hard he could felt his heart stop for a second.
“Yeah just please be careful,” he pleads as you park perfectly. You put his car in park and turn to him.
“Don’t you trust me?” You blink your lashes at him. He smirks adjusting the beanie on his head.
“I do,” he says, “Mostly.”
“Let’s make a deal Jeon,” you suggest as you help him unload his bags from the trunk. Jungkook was like a woman bringing two full suitcases and a duffle bag with him for a two week trip.
“Shoot babe,” he says.
“If nothing happens to your car in these two weeks—which it won’t—you can treat me for being a good girl,” you smirk up at him and he visibly gulps, rolling his tongue in his cheek. He thought your morning sex would have been enough but he wonder’s if he should take you into a bathroom at the train station and fuck your brains out again before he leaves.
“Deal,” he manages to choke out, going against his previous thought. Goddamn he was so in love with you he wasn’t sure he could make it without you for two weeks. In the five months you have known each other this was going to be longest time spent apart.
As you approach the ticket counter for Jungkook to check in, you start to feel a sadness settling in your heart and stomach. You felt like you were being dramatic about not seeing Jungkook for two weeks but he had become such an important role in your happiness—it was going to be weird not seeing him everyday. He truly was your other half.
“Alright I gotta head to my platform,” Jungkook says giving you a weak smile. “Thanks for driving me here.”
You try your best to muster up a smile, “No problem.”
He quickly pulls you in for a hug, encasing your frame around his tightly. You inhale his scent deeply so you won’t forget it in the next couple weeks.
“Don’t miss me too much,” he mumbles into your ear.
You pull your head out of his chest, “As long as you don’t miss me too much.”
God you two were disgusting.
He smiles leaning down a for kiss, you close the gap between you two. You only kiss for a moment not wanting to catch any unwanted attention.
“I love you,” you smile at him.
“I love you too,” he says, suddenly reaching into the deep pocket of his large sweatshirt. “Here,” he hands over a tiny box wrapped in Christmas paper and an envelope taped to the bottom of it.
“Jungkook,” you look at him and then the present, “We said we weren’t going to give each other presents.”
“I know but I couldn’t resist. I just thought of you when I saw it.”
“Thank you,” your heart flutters and you give him one last peck before he has to leave.  
“Merry Christmas,” he says, “I’ll let you know when I arrive.”
“Merry Christmas Jungkook.”
A brief walk back to Jungkook’s car has your heart in shambles. As you watched him leave for his platform, you couldn’t help but think you should have went with him. Taehyung would have understood—but that also meant meeting his parents and you weren’t sure that was a good idea just yet.
You settled into the driver seat of his car, carefully tearing the wrapping from the small box. Your eyes widen when you open it, a baby teal box revealing a beautiful ring on the inside. A gold band shines in the light, a small circular diamond in the middle shines even brighter.
“Holy shit,” you breathe out, quickly ripping open the envelope that he also gave you. It contained a cheesy Christmas card, his handwriting scribbling—
Merry Christmas Y/N. You’ve changed my life in more ways than one. I’m just one call away and I’ll always be here for you.
Cheesy I know—but you know cheesy is my middle name.
I love you.
Jungkook
.
“Jesus Christ Y/N!” Taehyung exclaims when you show him your new accessory on your hand. “This must have been thousands of dollars,” he grabs your hand to inspect the jewelry. “Tiffany too? What kind of money is Jungkook’s parent’s shitting out for him to give you this?”
“Hey now, he does well with his photography,” you pinch in, noting that he began selling pieces after much consideration.
“I know I know but damn,” he moves your hand around to see the light catching in the diamond. “When did he give you this?”
“The other day when I dropped him off at the train station.”
“Wow… I think you’ve won in the boyfriend category Y/N,” his eyes still haven’t left your finger and you know it’s the alcohol in his system that is keeping him mesmerized.
“It’s not a competition dumbass,” you spew at him.
“What did you get him? An amazing blowjob topped with a new lens for his cameras?”
You laugh at Taehyung’s words, “I’m more mad at the fact the he even bought it, we said we weren’t going to give each other gifts.”
“Well shit Y/N he basically proposed to you—that’s not a gift, is it?” His glassy, wine drunk eyes look at you curiously.
You pull your hand away from him, laying back down against your couch.
“Tae,” you mutter, feeling slightly tipsy yourself, “Do you think Jungkook and I will last?”
Taehyung leans back beside you, exhaling a deep breathe heavily. He doesn’t say anything for a few moments. The silence isn’t uncomfortable but it makes you nervous.
“Yeah,” he says, his eyes looking straight ahead, his tone real and understanding. Taehyung couldn’t voice it—no matter how much he wanted to over the months of you relationship with Jungkook—but he knew what you were going through in more ways than one.
“Really?” You look at him, nuzzling your head into his outstretched arm. He looks down at you before nodding.
“If you two want it to work… it will,” his voice deep and serious.
“How do you know that though?” You mutter, your tone down and pessimistic.
He breathes in deeply, “I just do… I know you two love each other. Anyone can see it Y/N. Don’t doubt anything unless you’ve been given a reason to doubt.”
Taehyung was always more philosophical when he was drinking and this proves that even more.
“Trust me,” his deep voice adds when you don’t say anything immediately .
“What would I do without you?” You finally muster looking up at him.
He smirks, “Lose your mind, that’s what.”
“Give me more credit than that asshole,” you push against his torso.
He laughs before responds with, “Hell no.”
“Well, should we open up our presents?” You give him a small smile glancing at the gifts that were lazily strewn on the floor. Your miniature Christmas tree was slightly pathetic—but it was better than nothing you suppose.
“Sure, but don’t expect another item from Tiffany alright?” He muses as he stands up to grab his gifts for you.
“Fuck off,” you laugh reaching your hands out as he places a bag and a box wrapped in front of you. You were sure Jimin wrapped these given how perfect they were.
“You first,” he gives you a warm smile. You dig into the bag first as it is less to unwrap. Your mouth drops open when you pull out a box of condoms, Taehyung stifling a laugh behind his smile.
“Taehyung are you kidding me?” You’re trying hard not to laugh either. He fucking would.
“Ultra thin… thought they would come in handy since, you know, you two fuck like bunnies,” he sends over a wink and you’re quick to flip him off. You open his next present which happens to be a coat you’ve been eyeing for the past few weeks, but hesitant to buy due to the $300 price tag.
“Tae, you didn’t have to get me this,” you marvel at the thick material, the baby blue color just the one you wanted. “This is too expensive—“
“Babe it’s fine,” he shakes his head, “I know you need some help with our wardrobe so I’m only offering my services,” he says matter of factly.
You move the box away from you and throw your arms around his neck. He hugs you tightly and in this moment you realize how happy your are. You perhaps have the best boyfriend and best friend of anyone you know. You didn’t think anything would change that.
“Here,” you pass Taehyung over your present and he quickly rips the paper off. He looks like a little kid on Christmas morning and you decide to pour more wine as he fidgets with the box.
“Shit Y/N!” He smiles widely, “Holy shit you didn’t have to get me this,” he takes his gift out of the box. He smiles widely at the leather bag you got him. Not a cheap price tag either—but it was Taehyung’s favorite bag and his old one was not cutting it anymore.
“It’s fine,” you shake your head, gulping down your white wine quickly. You two were quite drunk at this point.
“Jeez,” he shakes his head pulling you into another bone crushing hug, “Fuck Jimin and Jungkook. Let’s just get married, you and me kid.”
You laugh at his words, “Trust me, if you were straight I would take you up on that.”
The rest of your evening is spent with watching “How the Grinch Stole Christmas,” more wine, and endless laughter with your best friend.
.
It’s about 5 AM when you wake up in your bed with a busting headache and a stomach ache that has you doubled over on your toilet. Fuck, did you really drink that much? Your question is answered when everything in your stomach is coming up through your esophagus. You don’t know how long you sit on your knees, hands on the toilet throwing up your guts.
“Y/N?” Taehyung appears at your bathroom door rubbing his eyes, “Whoa, are you okay?” He quickly comes down behind you, holding your hair back and away from your face.
Finally after what seems like forever, you stop throwing up, resting your head on the porcelain.
“Yeah,” you groan, your throat raw and sore, “I guess I just drank too much.”
“Shit, do you need anything?” He asks, voice laced with concern.
“Just some water please,” you tell him and he leaves to quickly get you a glass. “Fuck,” you mutter to yourself. You’re not sure the last time you were this hungover was. You knew you needed water and sleep—maybe that would alleviate the pain in your head and stomach.
You get back into bed a few moments later with Taehyung laying down beside you. He gives you your space and before you know it, both of you fall back to sleep.
You wake up again around 10 AM, your headache still busting but your stomach more settled now. You’re sipping tea watching another Christmas movie with Taehyung when your phone rings. A smile stretches on your face when you see Jungkook’s name pop up.
“Hey,” you answer the phone, sitting up from your position on the couch.
“Hey babe,” his voice brings comfort to your ears, “Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas,” you say, “Did you have a good morning?”
Jungkook hesitates over the line before speaks again, “Uh, yeah… what about you?”
You furrow your eyebrows at his tone. He sounds… distant and unconfident with his words.
“I mean I’ve been better,” you laugh, watching Taehyung glance at you quickly.
“What’s wrong?” He asks.
“Well I’m just really hungover, Taehyung really did a number on me with the wine last night,” you laugh again trying to ease whatever tension Jungkook is holding through the phone.
He chuckles nervously for a moment over the phone, “Well drink some water and rest okay?”
“I know, I’m gonna take it easy for the rest of the day,” you look at your nails that desperately need to be manicured.
“Yeah good,” is all he says and you purse your lips. Normally Jungkook is so talkative over the phone—what’s up with him?
“Babe are you okay?” You ask him with genuine concern. You would hate for him to be going through something and him not tell you. Taehyung gives you a weird look and you shrug your shoulders.
“Yeah,” he clears his throat, “I’m just tired from all the Christmas hoopla I’ve had to do the past few days,” he says seeming to explain his demeanor, “But I’m gonna call you later okay? I’ve got a Christmas brunch to get ready for but I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas.”
You smile at his words, “Alright, have fun. I’ll talk to you later. Hurry home. I love you.”
“I’ll try I promise,” you can sense a small smile in his voice, “I love you too.” So much.
You stay sick for the next three days. Your body aches, your head hurts, and you’re still throwing up occasionally therefore you’ve barely had anything to eat the past three days. You and Taehyung are afraid you’ve picked up a small flu from someone. Despite this, Taehyung stays with you, not wanting to leave you alone sick like this.
Jimin gets back from home a couple days after you’ve fallen ill. Jimin being a medical guy himself, is unsure of what or who could have gotten you sick.
“As long as you don’t get and maintain a fever, I think you should be fine,” he says watching your frame on your couch. You had not felt this sick in so long and of course it had to be right before Jungkook got back home too.
“Should Jungkook come around her? He gets back when, tomorrow?” Taehyung asks you.
You nod, “Yeah, tomorrow evening,” you manage to say through your sore throat that feels like it’s actually on fire.
“I don’t think you’re contagious otherwise he would be sick too,” he motions to Taehyung, “He should be fine,” his voice is low and steady. His eyes don’t leave your frame though you’re too tired to notice Jimin’s intense stare.
You push yourself off of the couch, wanting to get some sleep in your bed. “I’m gonna take a nap, you guys don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to.”
Taehyung and Jimin exchange a glance before nodding, “We can get some food and bring some back for you later?”
“That would be great Tae,” you smile at him, “Thanks guys.”
Jimin and Taehyung leave your apartment, locking the door behind them with Taehyung’s spare key.
“Do you think she’s really okay? I’ve never seen her like this,” Taehyung mumbles to Jimin as he pulls up directions to the nearest ramen restaurant near them.
Jimin’s throat goes dry and he hesitates, biting his lip, “Honestly, I think we’ll just have to see.”
Jimin’s words are uneasy in Taehyung’s mind—both of them equally worried for you.
. You are jumping out of the shower when you get a text from Jungkook.
[Jungkook ♥ 6:58 PM] I’m about an hour away. Can’t wait to see you.
You smile at his text, heart fluttering at the thought of seeing him again. Today you woke up feeling a lot better—still not 100%—but you could actually stomach food today. Despite your illness, you didn’t really care at this point. You could wait to see Jungkook—you missed him so much more than you thought you would have.
[You 7:00 PM] Perfect. I’ll see you soon ♥
[Jungkook ♥ 7:02 PM] ♥
The train station is more crowded than it was went you sent Jungkook off. The masses of being returning from their holiday was immense and you were afriad you weren’t going to be able to find Jungkook through the masses.
Little to your knowledge, Jungkook had spotted you after he exited his platform—a beautiful baby blue coat hanging off of your frame—signaling where you stood. After not seeing your face for two weeks, he smiled to himself. You were so fucking beautiful to him and he loved you so much—it only made his heart hurt even more.
He hesitates walking towards your back that’s facing him. He takes in a deep breath before he wraps his arms around your front. You jump in his arms and turn around with the smile that makes his day. Today—it only breaks him even further.
“Jungkook,” you turn around and hug him tightly. Finally—he was home. He doesn’t say anything as he returns your hug, kissing you on the top of the head. He glances down at his arms, pulling his jacket sleeve down, making sure his watch wasn’t going anywhere.
After all, he was desperate to hide the name that was inked on his wrist that wasn’t yours.
.
JUNGKOOK
Christmas Eve—Busan
Jungkook’s tie is too tight around his neck. He swore to his mother that it was fine but her being as stubborn as she was, made sure to secure it so that not even she could move it. He pulls at his collar and his older brother, Junghyun laughs at him.
“You look like a little kid, pulling and tugging at that you know,” Junghyun eyes Jungkook and he rolls his eyes.
“It’s suffocating hyung—I’m not drunk enough for this bullshit,” Jungkook responds with a laugh.
It was their annual Christmas Eve party held by their father’s company and it was just as stuffy and rich as Jungkook remembers. Jungkook and his brother didn’t speak much about their wealth. They had both grown up with more money, toys, clothes, shoes, and vacations that they ever needed. They never once complained as they both know how incredibly lucky they were to have already lived 5 lives before turning 30. They did however, understand how tiring this lifestyle was.
Perhaps it is why neither Jungkook or Junghyun pursued business as a major—neither one wanted to have this much to handle on their plate. Thankfully, despite most of the people that associated with the Jeon family—their mother and father were humble and respected their sons’ decisions to make their own path. If it were up to their mother though, should would have her sons closer to Busan than so far away.
“Well, the night is still young,” his brother speaks again, handing Jungkook a glass of champagne.
“There you two are,” Yeri—Junghyun’s soulmate and partner appears from what seems to be out of thin air. “Hi my love,” she smiles up at Junghyun as he pulls her closer to his hip. “Jungkook, how are you?”  
“Pretty good, my tie is too tight,” he pouts.  
Yeri observes Jungkook, “I think it looks good?” She looks back up at his brother and he nods in agreement.
“I know, he’s just a baby,”  he remarks and Jungkook rolls his eyes.  
“Anyways, your mother is looking for you two—we’re about to eat dinner,” she informs and both of the brother’s nod.  
Jungkook follows closely behind them, weaving in and out of people to get to their designated table. Jungkook only recognizes a handful of people he passes even though they know exactly who he is. They find their table, their parents already seated and ready for dinner.
Jungkook smiles when he sees his mother, bending down to hug her.
“Hello Jungkook, Junghyun,” she greets her sons, “Yeri, please sit!”
He takes a seat right of his mom, Junghyun and Yeri to his left. His father is busy speaking with a business partner at the table to pay much attention to them. Jungkook grew up used to that though—his father always overworking himself, barely getting home before they had to go to bed. Despite this, he was still a great father in Jungkook’s eyes, providing and making them laugh every chance he got.
“What’s for dinner, Mrs. Jeon?” Yeri asks. Jungkook’s mother loved Yeri the moment she set her eyes on her all those years ago and nothing has changed.
“Oh, we’re having a little bit of everything—bulgogi, samgyeopsal, jajangmyeon, kimchi. I hope it’s good, we had to get a new caterer this year,” a sudden worry falls over he face but she quickly brushes it away.
“Perfect, I’m starved,” Jungkook mumbles, once again, mindlessly tugging at his collar. Jungkook’s mom swats his hand away.
“Quit it, you’re fine,” she scolds him and he settles in his seat, picking up his newly poured glass of red wine. It was true—he was starved and if he didn’t get food in his system quickly, he would probably become tipsy from a singular glass of champagne and wine.
The food arrives at each table in an orderly fashion as everyone finally takes their seats. A few words of thanks are spoken before everyone digs in, placing various meats on the grills in front of them. Commotion and chatter quickly fill the large hall. Jungkook is busy stuffing his mouth with noodles when suddenly his name is spoken across the table.
“Jungkook,” his father addresses him. He swallows his food quickly before raising an eyebrow in response. “You remember Mr. Kim, Seokjin’s father?”
The mention of Seokjin brings a wash of memories over Jungkook’s brain. He was an older kid that him and Junghyun used to play around with growing up.
“Yes, of course,” Jungkook slightly smiles to the elder.
“I can’t believe you’re almost done with university,” Mr. Kim compliments Jungkook, “What are you majoring in again?”
“Sports medicine,” Jungkook says feeling slightly intimidated by his stare. Suddenly Mr. Kim’s eyes glance down to Jungkook’s hand and he suddenly feels self conscious about his the ink colored on his fingers. He quickly retracts his hand under the table before he speaks again.
“Well that’s really good to hear,” he smiles warmly again, “Are you planning on furthering your education past undergrad?”
“Yes sir,” he nods, “I plan to pursue a sports physician or therapist within the next few years.”
He looks over at Jungkook’s father, “I don’t think your sons could be any more opposite than you and I,” he laughs and Jungkook’s father nods with a small smile.
“As long as they’re happy, that’s all that matters,” his father says. Jungkook glances at Junghyun, hoping he was paying some attention to the conversation so Jungkook could continue eating. He wasn’t.
“Yes I see,” Mr. Kim nods, “They will do good for themselves and their partners, I’m sure of it.”
The mention of the word partner gets Jungkook’s mother’s attention.
“Oh yes, Junghyun and Yeri have recently leased a house in Seoul,” she smiles proudly at her eldest. It was true—Junghyun was a practicing lawyer and Yeri was a court reporter so they were doing pretty well off even though they haven’t reached 30 yet.
“If only they could hurry up and get married,” she then adds with a laugh. Junghyun looks over and he grimaces, though no ill intent by the stare.
“Mom, we’ve told you. We’re settling our house and finances for another year or so, then we are,” he responds swiftly.
“Well, then it seems like Jungkook is due next,” Mr. Kim adds into the mix. Suddenly, Jungkook tenses up and his face falls. Oh how he wish you were here right now so he wasn’t alone in this.
“Well Jungkook does have a partner, right?” His mom looks over at him. Jungkook had mentioned you to his mom and dad but that was it—so this is news for Junghyun and Yeri who were carefully listening to his words. Jungkook was 22 after all—the clock was ticking.
“Yes mom,” he nods, “I invited her to Busan with me for the holidays but she decided to stay back home,” he explains.
“Ah, that’s too bad, we would have loved to meet her,” Mr. Kim says, “Next time though?’
Jungkook nods, a small smile present, “Next time.”
The conversation thankfully dies after that. As much as Jungkook wanted to talk about you—he was so hesitant for well, obvious reasons. His mom had the most questions about you and he answered all of them to her liking. She seemed to think their souls were bonded and wasn’t that the point he was trying to make? He wanted his mom to love you like he did and he was confident she would by the way her eyes lit up when he spoke about you.
“She seems lovely Jungkook,” she says, “And you just met her this year? After all this time?”
After all this time—yeah right. “Yeah, we had a class together.”
“Well I for one cannot wait to meet her,” she smiles taking a sip of her wine, “You should invite her again when you two graduate, you know we have to have a party to celebrate.”
Jungkook’s mouth goes dry but he nods quickly, just wanting to focus on the dessert that was being place in front of him.
“She would love that,” is all he says before he digs into his cheesecake. After a few glasses of wine, Jungkook had felt himself become a little tipsy and he knew he needed to slow down if he wanted to enjoy Christmas morning.
After he finishes his sweet treat, he excuses himself to get some water. As much as he hates these kinds of things, he wishes he had his camera to capture some memories—even though it was his first Christmas with you despite being separated by hundreds of kilometers.
He reaches the beverage table, quickly asking for a glass of water when suddenly he feels a tap on his shoulder.
“Excuse me?” A girls voice asks, “Would you mind getting me a glass of Chardonnay?”
He glances at the girl before nodding, asking for a glass to hand to her. The server hands Jungkook a wine glass and he turns around to see the girl for the first time. He’s slightly taken aback from her beauty. She’s got warm brown hair that flows down her chest, welcoming eyes, and a smile that he swears sparkled in the light.
“Thank you,” her eyes met his and he feels his chest tightening the longer he looks at her. As much as he wants to look away—he physically is unable. She seems to feel the same because he doesn’t know how much time has passed of them staring at each other before someone calls out to her.
She glances to her right, raising her glass as another thanks before walking away from Jungkook. His eyes follow her as her back turns to him. She’s wearing a simple purple dress with sleeves and heels that make her legs look long and lean.
He shakes his head out of his trance-like state, what the fuck? He takes another gulp of his water—it has to be alcohol getting to him. He’s about to head back to his parent’s table when he suddenly feels an itching on the inside of his left wrist. He scratches his skin harshly and he winces when it’s more painful than a normal scratch.
He glances down at his sleeve, pulling the material back to see what was so painful. He does a double take when he moves his watch, noticing harsh red lines forming on skin. The fuck, he thinks to himself. Jungkook makes the decision to excuse himself to the men’s room to cool the burning off with some water.
Thankfully he’s the only person occupying the room and he quickly turns on the water, running his skin underneath it. The burning subsides after a few moments and as he’s reaching for a towel to dry himself, he drops it to the floor before he can even use it.
While the red marks have gone away, a thin black line has replaced them.
Rose.
He blinks heavily, shaking his head. Is he really that drunk? He takes his nail to scratch at the black and when it doesn’t move, his mouth parts and the tie around his neck feels even more constricting.
“No,” he whispers to himself.
Rose.
It’s still there.
“No, no, no,” he mumbles, “Fuck,” his breathing picks up heavily and he looks at himself in the mirror. His face is pale and his eyes are blown out. Fuck.
Rose.
He moves his watch back over the marking and runs a hand through his hair, pulling on the ends harder than he should. He almost feels tears threatening to fall when he realizes what’s happening. This has to be a sick joke? The universe cannot be doing this—not right now—not after all this fucking time?
As much as his mind is racing, drunk and confusion do not make a good combination, he sees one thing for sure in the back of his brain. You. As this thought, his stomach churns deeply and before he realizes it—he’s spitting up some of his food and alcohol into the toilet.
“Fuck,” he says again wiping the perspiration away from his clammy hands onto his pants. He takes in a deep breath, freshening himself up before he leaves the bathroom with the mission to find one person and one person only.
Once he comes back into the main room, his eyes glance around quickly for a head of silky brown hair and a purple dress. His head looks around rapidly and anyone who saw him probably thought that he looked crazy. He spots Junghyun and Yeri getting another drink at the bar and he swiftly walks over towards them.
“Hyung,” Jungkook speaks quickly, shaking his brother’s shoulder.
“Huh? Jungkook, you okay?” His brother notices how ill Jungkook looks. Face pale, hair messily pushed around, uneasiness in his large eyes.
“Have you seen a girl,” he pauses trying to slow down, “Purple dress, kind of ashy brown hair to here,” he demonstrates the length with his hands. Junghyun looks at Jungkook like he’s crazy. Hell, maybe Jungkook is going crazy.
Junghyun shakes his head, “No I haven’t. What’s up?”
“I may have seen a purple dress going that way,” Yeri points her finger towards the other side of the large room. “Jungkook are you sure you’re okay?”
He doesn’t even give them one more glance before he thanks Yeri quickly, turning on his heels to head that direction. He nearly trips on his feet trying to get across the masses of people congregating. The ballroom has a couple hallways that lead off into other rooms and he decides his luck, checking in and out of the rooms. He’s coming up empty until he stops dead in his tracks, a back clad in purple facing him, talking to another man with blonde hair.
Suddenly, the blonde looks at Jungkook from over her shoulder and she follows. Her eyes meet Jungkook’s and he fills his breath hitching, his stomaching rolling once again.
“Hello?” The blonde asks curiously.
“Hi,” Jungkook steps forward. His hands are buried deep in his dress pants so they can’t see the way they shake with every breath.
“Yoongi, will you get me another drink please?” The girl speaks looking back at the man. He nods, settling not to say anything else as he brushes past Jungkook.
The girl stands awkwardly, her finger rimming an empty wine glass slowly. Jungkook can barely look at her but something is compelling him to. He can’t take his eyes off of her—she’s beautiful. He slowly walks towards her with some hesitation. She finally meets his eyes again and she visibly breathes in deep through her nose, her chest rising.
“Hi,” Jungkook says again.
“Hi,” she says with a low tone. She bites her lip nervously and she suddenly looks around the room—anywhere but him. “This place is really beautiful isn’t it?”
Jungkook follows her lead, eyes glancing around the room too, “Yeah, it is.”
“Your parents know how to put on a party,” she muses with a small laugh. Goddamn, he thinks, she is so beautiful. So, she knows exactly who he is.
“This is nothing compared to some other years,” he gently smiles when her lips turn up, her cheeks getting bigger with her own smile.
A silence falls between the two of them. She sways in her heels trying to relieve the pain in the balls of her feet.
“It’s you isn’t it,” Jungkook speaks first. She looks up at him, still saying silent. “You’re Rose?”
She dips her head, some of her hair falling in her face. She nods slowly, “I can’t believe you’re here,” she whispers and she almost sounds sad, perhaps broken? “After all this time,” she adds.
She looks at Jungkook like he’s her whole universe. Oh how he wishes he could say the same thing about her—it’s what this beautiful girl deserves. She deserves someone whose heart beats for them and them only. That wasn’t Jungkook—he had you and god how much he wanted to spend his life with you only.
“When did you find out?” He asks keeping his voice low and steady so his nervousness won’t show through.
“When I was fourteen,” she says. His heart sinks even further for this girl. His name had been engraved upon her skin for 8 years.
He doesn’t say anything else, opting to look down at his feet. The tension is there—the tension the universe gives soul bonded people. He feels his tie suffocating him again and he reaches up to loosen it again, to no relief though.
Suddenly, Rose steps forward, grabbing Jungkook’s hand to move it away from his collar.
“Let me help,” she says and he swears his heart stops beating when her delicate fingers touch his. Rose manages to undo his impossibly tight neck tie from his mother, retying it just as fast, but a lot more comfortable for him and his neck. Suddenly, Jungkook is glad you were unable to come to Busan with him.
“Thanks,” he laughs, “It’s been suffocating me all night.”
“I could tell,” she returns a chuckle, her palms resting on his chest. She’s just as nervous as he is—he can see the way she breathes unevenly being this close to her.
“I’m Jungkook,” he says.
“Rose.”  
.
“Did you have a good Christmas?” You ask Jungkook as you step into his apartment. If possible, Jungkook came back with thrice as much stuff as he left with and you wanted to help him unpack.  
“Pretty good,” he says simply, “I think my parents were disappointed you weren’t there,” he chuckles lightly. Jungkook’s roommates were still back home, not coming back until the new year, so you were going to stay with him to keep him company.
“Well, one day I’ll meet them,” your eyes search for his and he seems somewhat off. He hasn’t said much since you’ve picked him up from the train station. His eyes have looked a little lost, unsure of where to look.
“Yeah,” he shrugs off his coat and begins to unzip one of his 3 suitcases. You unzip a second, noticing how different his clothes smell.
“I see your mom did your laundry?” You quirk an eyebrow at him. He glances at you briefly, a small smile playing on his lips.
“Of course, what kind of son would I be if I didn’t bring all my laundry for my mom to do?”
Small conversation is said between the two of you as you unpack, fold, and hang up his clothes. You can’t help but notice the luxury men’s wear tags in the pants and shirts you hang up.
“What do your parents do Jungkook?” Your thumb brushes over the thick material of a new coat he received as a gift.
He’s hesitant to speak but he decides to tell you anyways, “My dad is president of a large company back in Busan. You know my mom is an artist,” he says and you recall the days he’s spoke highly of his creative mother.
Ah, you think, now you understand where the wealth comes from.
“I don’t like telling people because I don’t want people to think I’m some spoiled snob,” he laughs at the thought.
“Babe, you’re the farthest thing from that. You know work hard for things you want, what does it matter what anyone else thinks,” you hang the last piece of clothing from his suitcase up and he watches you intently.
He leans against his desk, arms crossed as he watches you carefully.
“Wanna see something I got,” he says clearing his throat as you look him in the eyes. His eyes quickly look away from yours, unable to face you fully just yet. You nod when you notice his eyes light up as he rummages through his duffle bag to pull out a new camera.
“Holy shit,” you admire the piece of technology as he holds it carefully in his hands. “Who got you this?”
“My brother if you could believe it,” he sounds like he doesn’t even believe his brother was capable of gifting him such a nice present.
“Damn,” you mutter, “Have you used it yet?”
He nods, “I played around with it at the beach before I left,” he says looking at your subtle smile. “Here, lemme take a picture of you,” he smiles a little wider.
“What? Jungkook I look disgusting,” you step away from him. Your hair is thrown up on your head, no makeup, and an oversized ratted turtleneck covers your frame.
“Baby come on you’re beautiful,” he pouts while adjusting the lens and other settings. “Please I wanna remember this.”
You furrow your eyebrows at him, “Remember what? The remnants of my illness that’s made me look crusty for days now?”
He laughs at you, “Sure, whatever you wanna call it,” he holds up his camera to see the lighting on you. “Sit down and scoot back,” he commands to you. You do as he says, sitting on his bed and scooting so your back is hilt against the wall.
“Here?”
He nods, “Mhm,” he focuses on adjusting the last of what he needs to before he says, “Smile babe, you’re on camera.”
You give him a glare before your features soften, giving him a small smile as you look directly into the lens. Your eyes meet Jungkook’s through the lens and he feels his chest tighten. He hated this—he was so in love with you he couldn’t stand the thought of losing you. You were his present and future—he didn’t want anyone else. How could the universe break him like this?
He snaps a couple photos before looking at them in the small frame. A small smile lets loose on his lips as his heart palpitates for you. He feels your eyes watching him closely and you’re unsure why—despite his smile—he seems so sad and so unsure.
Whatever is bothering him, you could only hope that he would open up to you soon and not suppress his feelings.
Jungkook’s only hope right now is cherishing these moments with you because as he has come to learn in the past few days—nothing good ever lasts.
.
Your phone was buzzing and buzzing annoying you to your core as you tried your best to shove your dangly earrings in your ears. You look down at the caller ID and you roll your eyes with a groan.
“Fuck Taehyung we’re coming!” You half yell at your phone that was still buzzing on your desk. Hearing ruckus in your room, Jungkook peeps in.
“You good babe?” He asks taking notice of how your room is practically flipped upside down. Clothes and jewelry are sprung around and the dress you have decided to wear isn’t even zipped yet, your lower back fully exposed to him.
“Yes,” you say finally slipping the plastic backs on your earrings. You look over your shoulder at Jungkook, heat rushing to your face when you realize how good he looks tonight. “Will you zip me up?”
He nods taking a step towards you, his fingertips cold against your skin. He slowly zips the beaded material up your back slowly not wanting to catch any strings. When he’s done, he wraps his arms around your front pulling you close to him.
“You look beautiful,” he smiles into your neck and you keen into his arms, your feet already blistering in your heels.
“You look sexy,” you muse with a giggle. He turns your body around to flush against his front and he quickly leans down to capture your lips. He’s slow and gentle, wanting you to know how much he cherishes you. He’s careful not to put a hand in your hair knowing how frustrated you were trying to fix it right, so he cradles your neck in one of his hands as you lean into him deeper.
You jump slightly in his arms when your phone starts buzzing again. Jungkook steps away from you and you groan loudly again.
“Remind me to kill him when we get in the car,” you punctuate as you grab your bag and the baby blue coat Taehyung gave you.
“Will do,” Jungkook gives you a wink before grasping your hand into his tightly.
New Years Eve was always a fun time in your friend group, especially at your age. Ever since you started university, you and Taehyung had made it tradition to go to one of the fancier bars in your area for the special occasion. Only having to pay an upfront free—it meant an open bar, free music, and a damn good time.
“Goddamn Y/N,” Taehyung says as you’re waiting in line to get in the bar.
“What? Is there something on my face? My teeth?” You panic looking at your best friend.
“No,” he pauses looking at your date up and down, “You really lucked out didn’t you.”
Jungkook suddenly laughs as his comment and you swat Taehyung’s head.
“Hey back off buddy,” you say wrapping your arms around Jungkook’s torso, “He’s mine asshole.”
“And you’re mine,” Jimin eyes Taehyung playfully. Taehyung had already drank half a bottle of champagne in the car ride from your apartment so he was definitely feeling frisky. It was absolutely freezing outside tonight and Jungkook made sure to keep his arms around you as you waited and waited outside.
“What’s going to be your drink of choice tonight Kook?” You look up at your boyfriend who looks so unbelievable handsome you could cry.
“Hmm, I’m thinking whatever will get me very drunk. Perhaps whiskey?”
Your face contorts at the mention of the dark liquor. Too many bad memories with that one.
“Lemme guess,” Jimin says, “You’re going to down about five green tea shots and then switch over to vodka soda with a splash of cranberry juice.”
Your eyes widen, slightly perturbed, “Am I that basic of a bitch?”
Jimin nods once, “Babe I’m a bartender, we can see girls like you coming from a mile away.”
“Ugh, fine you got me. But maybe instead of vodka soda I’ll just do a flat.” Truth is, you hadn’t drank since your sick spell over Christmas and you were more than ready to get drunk.
A few more minutes and you’re in the crowded bar. You stay close to Jungkook, his hand secured around yours as you make your way to the bar. As expected, you order green tea shots and Jungkook lives up to his previous statement—ordering a whiskey sour to start his night.
You’ve never seen this many people here before. It’s loud, hot, and crowded but it’s everything you could want for New Years Eve. Besides, what’s the fun in going out if it’s not going to be a little chaotic?
After a few drinks, Jungkook finds himself relaxing as he dances close to you. He’s happy right here and right now, but he can’t fully let go—his mind occupied of another woman. He hates himself for doing this, but what is he supposed to do? He’s careful around his arms, making sure his watch stays put and he sleeve doesn’t venture too far up just in case.
Your smile is wide and you feel like you’re on cloud nine. Sure, it was scary now that you were starting your last semester of college in a week but since you had Jungkook—you felt more secure in whatever life decides to throw at you than ever.
“I love you,” you say to Jungkook. It’s simple but you could tell him every minute of everyday and not get tired of it.  
“I love you more,” he says. He’s honest and he only hopes you can’t see the deep sadness in his eyes. He kisses the tip of your nose and you scrunch it up at the feeling. “Do you want another drink?” He asks.
You nod, “Yes please.”
“Vodka cran?”  
You nod once again, “I’ll be with Taehyung over there.”
Jungkook leaves you behind, walking back towards the bar. If he really was going to try to forget his worries—he was going to need something stronger.
“Two shots of whiskey please,” he says. He’ll get your drink when he’s finished so the ice won’t water it down.
“I didn’t take you for a whiskey guy,” a voice comes from his left and when he looks, he feels his whole world stopping.
“R-Rose?” He blinks, making sure he’s seeing correctly.
“I thought it was you over here,” she smiles asking the bartender for a shot of tequila. “How are you?”
He’s speechless. How? Right now?
“Doing well, how are you?” He asks trying to seem sly. God he could only hope that no one he knew, especially you, saw him right now.
“Same, I’m mentally preparing for my hangover tomorrow,” she laughs before downing her shot quickly.
He smiles, “I feel that,” he downs his first shot. It’s hot and it’s burning his throat. “Listen I’ve been meaning to text you but—“
“Don’t worry about it,” she waves her hand, “I mean what are the odds of us being here together? That’s worth more than a text right?”
He swallows, “Y-you’re right. I didn’t know you lived here.”
She nods, her gaze heavy and somewhat obscene, “I go to the all girls university in the area.”
“Ah, I see,” Jungkook says glancing around. Thankfully the copious amount of people have shielded him from anyone’s view.
“Are you here anyone tonight?” Fuck.
“Just some friends,” he says smoothly. “You?”
“Same. My roommates made me come, but now I’m glad I did,” she smiles brightly and Jungkook can himself falling deep into the hole again. Fuck the fucking universe.
“Me too,” he says before he can catch himself. Her eyes glance down to his lips before she looks back up at him.
“Well, I need to get back to my friends before we get fully separated,” she smiles again, “Come say hi if you see me again,” she winks.
He nods, his eyes wide and mouth dry. “Will do.”
He downs the second shot as she walks away, his eyes unable to rip from her frame. Jungkook was in deep shit—no doubting that. There was only so much longer he could keep up this facade. He was heartbroken to the core and as much as he wanted to be selfish and forget about the name attached to his wrist—that wasn’t plausible. It was a reality he had to face sooner or later.
“Fuck,” he says, ordering your drink before he forgets and another shot of whiskey for the hell of it. There was no getting Rose off his mind now but he could at least try. He knew one thing though—once the clock struck midnight, he was ripping you out of this bar faster than a racehorse.
“Oh my god thank you,” you drunkenly smile up at Jungkook when he comes back with your drink. In your intoxicated state, you don’t notice Jungkook’s demeanor change as much as other people do. Specifically Jimin, who is standing off from your side, eyeing Jungkook up and down. Jungkook looks nervous, tense, and unsure about his surroundings. Jimin was curious about what happened to him in the last five minutes of him being gone.
“Oh shit you guys, it’s almost midnight!” Taehyung yells throwing an arm around Jimin’s shoulder.
“What are you gonna wish for?” You gaze up at Jungkook as he throws an arm around your frame protectively.
“Is that a thing babe?” He questions, a small smile playing on his lips.
“Of course it is!” You say, your expression wide and full of disbelief. “I mean I always do it.”
Jungkook leans down and pecks your forehead, his vision fuzzier now that the 3 shots of whiskey have been through his system, “Well I’ll make a wish then, just for you.”
“You better,” you wiggle your eyebrows at him. The clock hits 11:59 PM and the countdown to the new year begins.
Jungkook’s grip tightens around you, afraid that if he lets go you’ll find out his deepest secret and run away from him forever. You lean your head on his chest, unknowing of anything that’s bothering him deep down. You inhale his scent, his laundry and cologne intoxicating you even further.
Ten… nine… eight… seven… six… five… four… three… two… one!
You look up at Jungkook with another beautiful smile and he leans down to close the short gap between you two. The cheers around you drown out as you focus on each other. One of your hands pulls him down from the back of his hair closer to you, smiling into the kiss.
You wish for nothing to change—you were happy and had your partner—that’s all you could ever wish for.
Jungkook wishes for things to change—to go back to normal—but he was afriad that there wasn’t going to be a normal for you two ever again.
Jungkook makes love to you that night like you have never experienced. Every kiss, every touch, every breath is so slow and calculated. He thrusts deep and hard into you, hitting your cervix with each snap of his hips. You both are drunk but if anything that makes it all the better. You two are fully relaxed in each other’s arms and it was just you and him in that moment. He makes you come two, three, and by the fourth time you can’t breathe. His hands grip your waist and under your ass pushing himself possibly deeper into you.
You hold his face close to yours as he drowns out your half screams and moans with his lips. When he finally comes after holding back to relish each second of his cock being inside of you, it’s the most glorious orgasm he’s ever had.
“Fuck—“ you cut him off with your lips as he stills inside of you. “I love you,” he breathes out heavily, collapsing on his elbows.
“I love you,” you whisper back.
He kisses your collarbone and around your neck, trying to hold back his tears threatening to fall.
“I love you more,” is the last thing he says that night before you two drift off into sleep. He means every word.
.
University starts back up a couple weeks after New Years. Your final round of classes were starting off great—most of them being bullshit electives. You were going to enjoy your last semester here and you refused to waste yourself away in school work before hitting the “real world.” You didn’t have any classes with Jungkook or Namjoon this semester which was somewhat of a bummer but you would survive.
Jungkook wasn’t doing good to say the least. He was stressed more and more each day. He barely had a good nights sleep in weeks—waking up every few hours thinking about two very different girls in his life. He had begun to converse with Rose over text message so he didn’t seem like a grade-A asshole. Every time he sent or received a text back, his stomach churned and his heart yearned. He couldn’t help himself—this is how the universe works. It was the hardest thing for him to keep a secret like this from you. He hated lying to you and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could do it.
He turned to his photography more than ever in the past few weeks. His hobby slowly becoming his life to distract him from his actual problems. It’s how he found himself early out in the morning, before 7 AM to be exact, shooting the sunrise from a river about ten minutes from his apartment. He was playing with his new toy and lenses that Junghyun had gifted him, loving the camera the more shots he snapped. He didn’t have class until noon and he couldn’t sleep and he couldn’t think of a better way to pass the time.
It was quiet and peaceful. He loved the countryside and this spot reminded him of back home. It was freezing to say the least and he quickly threw on his gloves before he went through his recent captures.
“Jungkook?” His name leaves a female and his chest twists—recognizing who it is immediately. He looks away from his camera, Rose approaching him from his right. She’s wearing leggings and a thick jacket with running shoes.
“H-hey,” he drops his camera some, “What are you doing up this early?” He asks as she stops in front of him.
“I could ask the same to you,” she smiles breathing heavily. She looks down at his camera before looking back up at his face, “I couldn’t sleep so I decided to go on a run to clear my head.”
He nods slowly, “The best way to clear your head indeed,” he muses. “Same though, to answer your question. Couldn’t sleep and I figured I would come takes some pictures.”
She hesitates before asking her next question, “Can I see?”
Jungkook doesn’t answer immediately, looking down at his camera nervously.
“O-only if you want to though,” she adds picking up on his secluded frame.
His eyes soften and his shoulders drop, “No, it’s fine, here.” He clicks around the buttons to bring up the most recent pictures of the sunrise, the river, and it’s reflection.
“Wow,” Rose whispers, smoke following her words as they hit the cold air as he clicks through each one, “These are great Jungkook.”
He smiles shyly, glancing down her frame, “Thanks.” She’s shorter than you are, her head barely hitting his shoulder.
“Have you been taking pictures for long?” She looks up at him when he’s done showing the pictures.
“A few years now,” he says, “It’s my favorite thing to do with my free time.”
“Well from what I can see you’re really talented,” she smiles, “You should do it professionally.”
He blushes, “A man can only wish,” he laughs, fog coming from his lips too.
A silence falls between the two of them. Jungkook isn’t sure what to do and Rose looks around the area, only a handful of people in the surrounding vicinity.
“Hey I was about to go to this café down the street, wanna come with?” She asks. Jungkook is taken aback by her offer. He notices a sadness behind her eyes and he bites the inside of his cheek before nodding slowly.
“Yeah, that’d be nice.”
The café is small and quiet. It smells of espresso and pastries. Jungkook orders himself a coffee with cream and sugar while Rose decides to get some type of iced drink.
“It’s below freezing and you’re drinking iced coffee?” He quirks a brow at her as they sit down beside the main window.
She shrugs, “I love iced coffee more than I love myself.”
He smiles, sipping on his hot coffee slowly not wanting to burn his tongue. Another silence falls between them and Jungkook takes this time to study her more. She’s petite and gorgeous. She’s the type of girl he grew up crushing over. In the few conversations they’ve had,  he knows they are very much alike. Each day talking to her and seeing her pop up in random places in his life proved to him this wasn’t a fluke. Rose was his soulmate and Jungkook was hers. That’s the fucking reality and it fucking sucks for him. He could see himself falling for Rose quicker than anyone else before—that’s what is supposed to happen anyways. But he had you—he didn’t want anyone else. You were his end all be all, not Rose.
“Jungkook,” she speaks lowly, “Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah, of course.”
“Are you seeing someone right now?”
Her question makes his heart rate speed up.
“W-what?” His mouth is dry despite the coffee, “H-how—?”
“One of my friends on New Years saw you leave with a girl,” her voice breaks off. Shit.
“I,” he pauses, unsure of what to say, “It’s complicated.”
Complicated?! He was in a committed relationship that was approaching 6 months!
“I’d rather you tell me the truth than lie Jungkook,” she says. “We’re soulmates, we’re supposed to open up to each other.”
He furrows his eyebrows deeply, “It’s not that easy Rose. I just met you almost month ago.”
His words cut her deep but she stands her ground.
“I get that but,” she pauses, “I just don’t want you and whoever you’re seeing to be hurt. I’m sure you knows what happens when—“
“Yes. I know,” he says. He’s already seen it—you’ve already experienced it. The constant up and down sickness from you was just one side effect of a bonded soul that stays with one who isn’t bonded to them.
“Do you love her?” She asks.
“With everything in me,” he answers honestly. She looks away from her soulmate, unsure of how to feel. She had been waiting for him for 8 years. She was expecting her happy ever after. The last thing she thought would happen is that her soulmate would be in love with someone else. Processing this information was going to difficult for her and she couldn’t begin to imagine what Jungkook was going through right now.
“Have you told her?”
He shakes his head slowly, “No.”
She purses her lips, squeezing her cup a little too hard, “I’m not telling you how to go about this Jungkook, but if you really loved her, why are you continuing to hurt her?”  
.
“Taehyung we have to talk right now,” Jimin says into his phone.
“Baby it’s not even 8 AM,” Taehyung’s morning voice is deeper than his actual voice.
“No—like Taehyung it’s urgent.”
Taehyung is beginning to worry what could possibly be going on.
“Is everything okay?” He asks sitting up in his bed, pushing the hair from his face.
“No,” he says, “Not at all.”
Jimin hangs up the phone and makes his way to Taehyung’s apartment. He half jogs, unable to keep up with his feet. Jimin’s mind is racing as he begins to piece his suspicions together.
“Good morning,” Jimin enters the apartment, a shiver going down his back as he steps into the significantly warmer apartment. Jimin glances around the apartment, his eyes frantic. “Y/N isn’t here, is she?”
Taehyung watches his boyfriend with tired eyes like a hawk. “No, why would she be here?”
Jimin nods quickly, “When did she first get sick?”
“Whoa, Jimin what’s going on?” Taehyung holds his hands up, his brain still not fully functioning.
“Just answer the damn question.”
“Uh, Christmas morning, early in the morning.”
“And has she been sick since then?”
Taehyung furrows his eyebrows, “Um, she mentioned being sick the day after New Years. Jimin this is stupid, she was hungover both days—“
“Do you know who this girl is?” Jimin pulls out his phone, pulling up a picture of Jungkook and a girl neither of them knew sitting at a small cafe across from each other.
“Where did you get this?” Taehyung asks taking his phone to zoom in on the pic.
“This morning,” he says, “I went to the gym and saw those two together.”
“What does this mean? Is Jungkook cheating on Y/N?!” Taehyung feels himself begin to get angry, handing the phone back to Jimin.
“Well according to Hoseok, the bartender from New Years I sometimes see around asked who the girl Jungkook was cuddled up to at the bar on New Years… and it wasn’t Y/N.”
Taehyung’s face clenches, “W-what? I don’t understand what you’re getting at Jimin. Is Jungkook cheating on Y/N?” He asks again.
“Taehyung, don’t you get it?” Jimin asks running a hand through his hair, “I study this stuff for fucksakes! This,” he holds up his phone of the picture again, “She’s Jungkook’s soulmate, Tae.”
His mouth parts open, “H-how are you so sure?”
“I don’t know the full story but I’m guessing a name came up on Jungkook over Christmas and destiny brought them together after being apart for so long…”
“A name? Jimin, Jungkook is 22 like Y/N… they don’t—“
“Late bloomers—it’s rare, but it happens Taehyung.”
“Fuck,” Taehyung breathes out, fully awake now, “So Jungkook has a soulmate and hasn’t told Y/N I’m assuming.”
Jimin nods, “I’m sure of it. She needs to know Taehyung—it’ll only get worse for her the longer Jungkook stays with her,” his voice trails off. Jimin cared for you as much as anyone close to you and he knew the consequences of tangoing with someone else who was soul bonded.
“I’m gonna kill Jungkook,” Taehyung grips his hair harshly, “When should we tell her?”
Jimin hesitates but speaking after thinking about what could happen to you the more Jungkook hides his secret, “The sooner the better.”
.
“Babe I don’t know how to do this,” you whine as you stares at a knife and a half open salmon. Jungkook laughs at your attempt to filet the fish for your dinner together.
“It’s not that hard Y/N,” he says pointedly, coming to aid your aid. In one motion, Jungkook manages to remove the skin from the fish.
You roll your eyes at him, “Why are you so fucking good at everything?”
“I’m just that talented,” he gives you a side eye before throwing the fish into the marinade. “Are you sure you want to salmon by the way? I know you’re still not feeling the best.”
“Jungkook it’s fine—I’m not going to get sick from this,” you hoped at least, “Plus you love it and I wanted to do something special for our anniversary.”
It was true—today marked your sixth months with Jungkook. January was brutally cold and quickly passed. Now the beginning of February wasn’t any warmer, but it did mark that spring was coming soon.
You couldn’t believe you had been with Jungkook for sixth months. Six months had come and gone like that. It was odd being in a committed relationship for this long when two people weren’t soulmates—but frankly, you were sure Jungkook was your soulmate so it didn’t really matter anyways.
As Jungkook watched you whip up some rice and veggies to go on the side, he couldn’t help but feel guilty. Guiltier than fuck. It had just been over a month since he meet Rose and to put it shortly—the universe was fucking trying it. No matter where he went, she always seemed to be there. They texted at least a few times everyday, obviously keeping it to himself. Rose was being patient, as she was trying her best to understand Jungkook’s situation, though he had a gut feeling she didn’t want to wait around much longer for him. Time was running out for Jungkook and it was running out faster than he ever wished it do be.  
You and Jungkook finish and eat dinner together on the couch. Sure he had a small dining room table but it was tradition for the two of you to cuddle up on the couch together for your meals. Plus, his roommates weren’t home so you may as well make yourself comfy.
“What are you thinking about?” you ask Jungkook when he goes silent for a few moments. As much as you loved Jungkook, you knew something had been bothering him for weeks that he hadn’t opened up to you about. If it was something he really wanted to open up with you about, he would have already and you felt it wasn’t your place to prod. When he was ready, he would be ready you suppose.
“Hm?” his doe eyes look into yours before glancing away, “Nothing much… I just can’t believe we’re graduating in three months,” he laughs shaking his head in disbelief.
You agreed with him, “Crazy right… are you scared?”
He looks down at your legs that are draped across his, “Yeah, I am.”
A look falls on his face that you can’t read. He’s blank on the outside but you’re sure deep down whatever he’s thinking about is torturing him.
“Jungkook,” you nudge him, “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” he asks with a grimace.
“I don’t know,” you shrug, “I just feel like something has been bothering you.”
He bows his head and you’re sure he’s about to be fully honest with you until he says, “I’m just stressed babe.”
You narrow your eyes at him. Stressed you can believe—but what? School? Family? Us?
“If you don’t tell me what’s wrong I can’t help you Jungkook,” you say. You can visibly see his jaw clenching as he grinds his teeth.
“If I wanted you to know don’t you think I would fucking tell you Y/N?” he snaps and it makes you jump in your position, “Don’t be so goddamn nosy if it’s none of your business.”
Jungkook stands up from the couch and your mouth parts at his words. Not only are you taken aback, but you can’t believe Jungkook actually spoke to you like that.
“Don’t fucking talk to me like that,” you stand up and make your way towards him. He’s lean against the counter, his head down. “Jungkook, hey, what the fuck?” you ask him, beginning to get more and more frustrated as each second passes.
He lifts his head to look at you, a pained expression on his features, “Look I’m sorry—“
He’s cut off by heavy knocks on your door. Neither of were expecting anyone and if it was his roommates, they would have just used their keys. Your eyes follow Jungkook when he goes and opens the door. What happens next goes by so fast you weren’t even sure it happened until Jungkook is stumbling backwards, a groan emitting from his lips.
“Taehyung?!” you nearly scream rushing over to Jungkook, “What the fuck?! What are you doing?!” Taehyung walks into the apartment with Jimin close behind him.
“Ow, fuck man,” Jungkook holds his cheek in pain. Taehyung didn’t look like he had much power but he just proved himself wrong.
“Have you told her yet,” Taehyung speaks, looking straight at Jungkook, “Or are you still lying to her?”
You look between the two of them, your mind racing and confused.
“Told me what? Taehyung what the fuck are you doing, are you crazy?!” you yell at him again.
Jungkook and Taehyung continue to glare at each other. Jungkook notices Jimin staring too and he knows—it’s over.
“Not right now Taehyung,” Jungkook says angrily. You whip your head over Jungkook again. What’s going on?!
“Told me what?” you ask looking back over at Taehyung and then Jungkook again, “Told me what Jungkook?!” you raise your voice at him.
“Y/N,” Jungkook says, his eyes full of a wave of sadness. Your heart begins to race, your hands clammy and you feel like you might get sick again.
“What’s going on Jungkook?” you feel tears begin to well in your eyes. You know something isn’t right, otherwise this would not be happening right now.
“I was gonna tell you,” Jungkook’s voice breaks off as he comes closer to you, taking your hands in his, “I just didn’t know how.”
You feel a tear come down your face, “Baby what’s happening?”
“Hurry the fuck up,” Taehyung spits, “We don’t have all night.”
“Taehyung,” Jimin scolds him from behind.
Jungkook doesn’t break his gaze with you as he lets go of your hands. He pulls the sleeve of his left sweatshirt, moving his silver watch back in the process. When your eyes fall onto it—the name—it feels like you’ve been shot in the chest. Your breathing picks up and you look back into Jungkook’s eyes.
You shake your head, “No, no, no,” you mumble, “This is a joke right? This has to be a fucking joke,” the tears are now falling in rhythmic streams down your face.
“I’m so sorry,” Jungkook says, tears now welling his eyes eyes, “Y/N I love you so much—“
“How long have you known?” you step away from him, feeling light headed and queazy. He doesn’t answer until you press again. “How long have you fucking known Jungkook?!”
“Over a month,” his voice drops and you don’t ever think you’ve felt the sharp pains shooting in your chest until now.
“Y/N,” Jimin speaks this time, “I think you should come with us.”
“You’ve been lying to me all this time?” you ignore Jimin, your voice cracking on the edges.
“Y/N, no baby please,” he steps towards you, his hands finding your face, “I-I didn’t know what to d-do. I l-love you and you only you, nothing will ever change that,” Jungkook pleads. You shake your head, pushing him away from you.
“It changes everything Jungkook!” you yell at him, furiously wiping the tears from your face, “You’ve known about your soulmate for a goddamn month and you thought you could hide that from me?! Are you kidding me Jungkook?!”
Jungkook pulls at the roots of his hair, glancing over to Taehyung and Jimin, “I’m sorry Y/N,” he repeats, “W-we can do something about this, there has to be—“
“No,” you spit, “No, it doesn’t fucking matter anymore Jungkook,” you pause, glancing down at your hands, “There’s no way around this and you lied to me.”
“Y/N, please,” Jungkook’s heart breaks all over again as he watches you gather your things, shoving your feet into your shoes.
“Take this,” you rip the ring that suddenly didn’t mean anything to you anymore off your finger, shoving it into Jungkook’s palm. He stares at the jewelry, his eyes watery and blurry.
“Come on,” Taehyung says holding out his arm for you. With one last glance at Jungkook, you turn on your feet and walk out of his apartment. Jimin shuts the door behind of you two and you don’t even make it to their car when you break down into a full sob, Taehyung wrapping his arms around you protectively. You didn’t just walk out of Jungkook’s apartment—you’ve walked out of his life too.
SPRING
Spring was always your favorite season. The blossoming of trees and flowers always seemed to cheer up your mood. More sunlight meant more happiness and less seasonal depression. The warming weather was always a nice touch after cruel and harsh winters. This year though, you thought no one could hate Spring as much as you did.
Everyday was new challenge for you. When you and Jungkook first broke up—your feelings were indescribable. The mental and physical chest pains you experienced from your heartbreak were sure the worst you could ever have. You were a broken soul—a soul not meant for someone who you loved more than life itself sometimes.  
It was hard doing simple things—getting out of bed, doing your laundry, going to class, eating meals—it was all such a burden to you. You cried and cried and cried until you had no more tears left. Sleep was even worse as it meant your unconscious state always drifted into thoughts of Jungkook. There was the time frame where Jungkook called you, left messages and voicemails, tried to contact you through Taehyung and others—but it was all the more painful. However, you couldn’t bring yourself to rid any trace of him from your phone, afraid that you might forget what he looked or sounded like.
No one had ever seen you in such a broken state. You thought you’re mind couldn’t drift into worse territory until one night, you thought about Jungkook and his soulmate—whoever she was. You thought about him loving her, making love to her, taking pictures of her, marrying her, having kids with her, looking at her the way he looked at you—it completely shattered you even more. You don’t remember how much you drank that night. One shot of vodka? Two? Seven? Glasses of wine? It didn’t matter you just needed to forget.
It was when Taehyung found you that night passed out over your toilet, is when he recommended seeing someone. At first, your idea of going to a therapist over a failed relationship seemed silly. But Taehyung made sure that you and Jungkook were more than a college fling—it was real and it was going to take a lot of time to get over.
Your therapist was a nice woman, upper forties maybe, slim face and blonde hair. Your first couple sessions with her didn’t go as smooth as you wished for. She asked you hard questions that you weren’t willing to answer. The third session you went to, you broke down in front of a stranger becoming the most vulnerable you’d ever been.
She knew you loved Jungkook and he loved you just as deeply too. She explained soul-bonding more in depth to you that day. The universe has a reason why it pairs two souls together and why some people are left bare. It’s a phenomenon that’s barely studied but she suspects it’s more common than people want to believe. There’s also a process called soul-breaking, that is rare too but the consequences can bare far greater risks so majority of the people stay away from it.
Overall, you grew up your whole life thinking something was wrong with you. You thought you were a glitch because you didn’t receive a name on your body at 18. But if anything, meeting with your therapist made you realize that nothing was wrong with you. You live a healthy life, have a family, have friends, and you fell in love with someone—and all that is okay.
“I do believe if two people are meant to be together, they will be, someway or somehow,” she said to you one day.
Nearly two months after your break up and one month left until graduation—it was still hard. You had been prescribed antidepressants for a few weeks now and while it did numb your pain for the most part, there were times when thinking about Jungkook just made you want to curl into a ball and forget about your tasks for that day. You told yourself you needed to stop doing that though—you had to be strong otherwise you couldn’t move forward.
“Here you go,” Taehyung plops down a cup of steaming coffee and a bagel in front of you. Your stomach growls at the site.
“Thank you,” you give him a smile, “I’m starved.”
“I bet, you’ve been writing that paper for fucking hours,” he says digging into his own bagel with salmon and cream cheese. You should mention you hated salmon too now.
Taehyung was the greatest friend anyone could have, that you were sure of. Everyday, he called or texted to check in on you. He brought you food to make sure you were eating. Him and Jimin would invite you to the movies or restaurants with them. You refrained from going out to bars with them, too afraid you might run into the wrong people. Nonetheless, without Taehyung by your side, you were sure these past two months would have been much more difficult.
“I got my cap and gown in the mail,” he sings songs scrolling through his phone.
“Jesus Christ Tae, can you believe we’re graduating college?”
He laughs, “I said the same thing when we graduated high school,” he glances at you, “Look at us now bitches!” he holds his arms out dramatically.
You laugh at him, chewing on your food slowly. If there was one positive about being alone the past two months, it meant your illness had gone away completely. Your therapist explained how illnesses of different forms can plague people who play a role in betraying a soul-bonded person. Though you already knew that from your project last semester.
“Did you ever hear back from that company?” Taehyung asks you as you mule over in small conversation.
“Uh yeah,” you smile shyly, playing with the ends of your hair.
“Welllll?”
“I got an offer, if I want it,” your smile widens even more. Taehyung’s mouth drops open before it melts into his signature boxy smile.
“Wait, really? Holy shit, Y/N that’s amazing!”
“Thanks,” you look away from him, heating rushing to your cheeks. It was an exciting opportunity and you felt this was the path for you.
“But wait hold on,” he pauses, “Does this mean… you’re moving? To New York City?”
There’s the bombshell you haven’t dropped on many people yet. New York City. It was always a dream of yours to possibly live there one day. And now with nothing holding you back here, when you applied for the company and they asked a preferred location—you said fuck it.
“Yeah, later in the summer,” your voice is low. Taehyung’s shoulders drop, his happy mood diminishing ever so slightly.
“New York…” he ticks, “Well I’ve always wanted to go there so I’ll have to visit once or five times a year.”
You nod giving him a short wink, focusing on the rest of you coffee and food. Slowly but surely, you were getting better. You knew that your future days would be filled with five steps forward, two steps back but it was the natural process. Once you graduated and moved onto to bigger and better things—you’ll understand that this chapter, while thick and important, was only just a chapter. You have another one already waiting at the starting line to begin.
.
Jungkook was numb—literally numb as a needle digs in and out of skin, inking a flower onto his forearm. He had this one for awhile, but it still needed the little details to perfect the tattoo to his liking. His first tattoos, the scattered pieces on his hands were the most painful. However, now as he has a good amount of ink on his arm all the way to his shoulder, the pain isn’t there that much. He almost likes the stinging sensation as it gives him something to focus on rather than his intrusive thoughts.
The past few months haven’t been easy on him. Watching you walk away from him hit him harder than when Rose’s name showed up on his skin. And he just let you. Sure, he called and texted and persisted as much as he could but he knew he should have done more. He should have explained in more depth why he did what he did. Yes, it was because he loved you with every fiber of his being, but he genuinely didn’t care if he was meant for someone else. He wanted to be with you despite the situation present. There was surely something he could do to make it right but you were long gone from his life. He was stuck in a hole and he didn’t know how to get out.
Jungkook and Rose saw each other more frequently after his break up. She was so kind and so patient with him, he knew she deserved so much more. She never rushed anything with him, always waiting for his moves. The first time he kissed her, there was tingling deep in his chest. As great as kissing Rose was, she could never compare to you. It was hard and confusing for him to understand. He’s heard all his life—when soulmates cross paths and become intimate with each other, their whole world begins to revolve around them. That wasn’t the case though. As much as he was being pulled in by Rose, he was being pulled into a completely different direction. That wasn’t how bonded souls worked, he knew that much.
“You’re not very talkative today,” his tattooist comments as she wipes away the leftover ink on his arms. Jungkook always preferred a female to do his tattoos as they seem to have more control and a gentler grip.
“Just a lot on my mind,” he shrugs turning his head towards the tattoo needle.
“Women issues?” she raises an eyebrow at him.
“Is it that obvious?” he half laughs.
“My job requires a lot of listening and giving advice,” she says, “I know a damsel in distress when I see one.”
He doesn’t say anything as he watches the way she furrows her eyebrows, getting closer to his skin to add the finishing touches.
“Are you still with, Y/N? Was it?” she then asks. The mention of your name sends his face pale. How many months had it been since he last saw you or mentioned you? One, two, three? All of his days blended together so he’s lost track of time.
He shakes his head slowly, “No.”
She looks at him from the corner of her eyes, “Really? I thought you were gonna marry her?”
He bites down on his bottom lip to hold down his emotions before saying, “That was the plan until the universe decided to throw me bullshit.”
She’s never heard Jungkook sound angry. He’s always been very polite and an overall happy person. Jungkook felt he had a right to be angry and resentful. Unfortunately, that anger and resentment was sometimes projected onto those people around him. His roommates had to walk on eggshells around him now, afraid he might fully break if they said one wrong thing to him.
“When did this happen?” she knows exactly what he’s referring to.
“A few months back, around Christmas.”
“Have you met them yet? Your partner?” she pauses when she notices Jungkook’s jaw clenching as he’s staring at the ceiling now, “You don’t have to say anything if you’re uncomfortable. I just like to think I’m good at giving advice, is all.”
“Yeah, we’ve met,” he contemplates elaborating but does so anyways, “But it’s not this big grand affair that I was told about my whole life. She’s amazing and just my type, but… she’s not her. I like her a lot, but I don’t get the same fiery feeling I had with Y/N.”
“Hm,” she muses, putting down the tattoo gun, “You’re done,” she gives a small smile at him. He holds up his arm to inspect the new ink.
“Thanks, it looks great,” he gives her a small smile as she begins the aftercare process of petroleum jelly and a bandage.
“Can I see your mark?” she asks. He nods before shimmying his watch down his arm, revealing Rose’s name in thin cursive. The mark itself is still very much there, but recently it’s begun to fade and he wasn’t sure why.
“Sorry if I’m giving you too much information,” he laughs feeling slightly awkward as she inspects the name.
“It’s fine, I’m the one that asked,” she chuckles again before she sits back in her chair and begins to lift her own sleeve up. He’s confused as to what’s she doing but when she lays out her hand, he sees it. “This showed up when I was nineteen,” he reads the name that’s barely visible anymore—almost looking like a scar.
“Why’s it not dark anymore?” he asks.
“The same reason yours is fading too,” she looks back at his wrist.
“What do you mean fading?” so he wasn’t crazy—it was actually fading.
“It’s what happens when someone’s heart belongs to someone else,” she says, “I don’t know how to explain it but it occurs more than you think.”
She wraps up Jungkook’s forearm and he’s more confused than ever.
“The world is so fucked up,” he comments closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Heard that,” she nods in agreement, “Come on, I’ll ring you up.”
That day into the tattoo shop was a good day for him. It felt nice to open up about his situation to someone who seemingly understood what he was going through. Yes, the world was fucked up but so was everyone living in it. He didn’t understand the full meaning of his mark fading but he knew in the long run, he would deal with whatever was thrown at him. He had to otherwise he was going to live a long, miserable life. Besides, he knows that you would want him to be happy even though you probably hated him for what he did. He wants the same for you because at the end of the day, if he knew you were happy—he would be too.
. The smile on your face as you threw your cap into the air was probably the biggest and most genuine smile you’ve put on for months. The cheers and clapping from everyone in the room drowned out any tears that formed in your eyes. Of course you were happy to be done with university, but it was very bittersweet. The last four years of your life have been the best and worst possible. Everything you’ve learned here, you were sure would live with you for the rest of your life.
You find your parents and younger sister after the ceremony. The hug with your dad is the best you’ve had in a long time. He squeezes you tight, picking you up slightly.
“Gah, we’re so proud of you Y/N,” your mom dabs the inner corners of her eyes as she watches the seen unfold.
“I can’t believe my baby is graduated,” your dad pulls away, ruffling your hair a bit.
“Hey! Stop I spent time on this,” you step away from him, smoothing down your roots.
“Does this mean we get to go to New York now?” your big sister, Mia asks your parents. She’s pulls you into a hug which you exhale deeply in return. You didn’t get to see your sister as much as you wished, but growing up she was your rock. She was the best role model you could have asked for.
“Of course,” you say, “Only if you bring me bags and bags of those honey butter chips.”
“Anything you want we can bring it, or ship it!” your mom nods enthusiastically.
“What about me?” you turn around at the voice of Taehyung, throwing your arms around him.
“Holy shit Taehyung we’ve done it!” you exclaim. Your parents give you a slide on your language in front of them, understanding the circumstance.
“Mia! What’s up!?,” Taehyung pokes your sister on the shoulder before giving her a quick hug. He holds up his diploma and smiles, “Four years and thousands upon thousands of dollars later, we’ve made it.”
“Do you still wanna go downtown? Grab some dinner?” you ask your parents and they nod excitedly.
“Definitely—you choose wherever,” your father smiles. “Taehyung, you and Jimin are welcome to come if you don’t have any plans.”
“Oh we will definitely be there,” he smiles, “Just text me where you guys are going. I gotta go find the devil and my parents through all this mess. See you later!”
Later ended up being at a nicer restaurant downtown that you had never been to—too broke as a college student to ever think about coming here for dinner. You mulled over conversation with glasses of wine and good food, Taehyung being the star of the dinner table. Jimin smiled lovingly at his partner, slightly jealous that you and Taehyung were now finished with school. He’s got another year left in his master’s program so he’ll be graduated this time next year.
When you’re finally done with dinner, you part with your parents and sister for the evening outside the restaurant when you run into an all familiar face.
“Y/N?”
You turn to the source, “Namjoon?” a smile spreads over your face and you quickly make your way to him and give him a squeeze.
“Congrats!” he smiles when you pull away, looking back over your shoulder.
“You too, I can’t believe we’re done,” you laugh taking in his attire. He’s dressed in a nice button down and dress pants, glasses resting on his face looking dapper as ever. “Oh this is my family,” you introduce the them.
“Nice to meet you,” he smiles, “This is Kaya,” he smiles and you didn’t even realize he had company with him. You introduce yourselves to each other and she’s got to be one of the most beautiful girls you’ve met. They look damn good together.
“Nice to meet you,” you return your own smile.
“Is dinner here good?” he asks all of you. Everyone agrees in response and he looks over to Kaya, “Well, it was good to meet you all. Let’s catch up one day? You’re gonna be around in the city right?”
“A city yes,” Mia interjects crossing her arms, slightly envious of you, “Not this one, but New York City.”
Namjoon raises his eyebrows at you, “Wow, big girl things huh?”
You laugh repeating his words, “Big girl things.”
Namjoon and Kaya leave into the bustling restaurant after some finals words and you’re finally parting ways with your family. You mom and dad give you another bone crushing hug before they have to go back home. Mia looks at you with a sadness in her eyes and you furrow your eyebrows at her.
“What’s wrong?” you ask her as she hides herself in her shell.
“I don’t want you to leave,” she pouts, slumping her shoulders.
“I still have a few more months home,” you give her a smile, “And I promise you can visit me and I’ll come back as much as I can.”
“Promise?” she holds up her pinky. You link your pinkies together before nodding your head.
You bid your farewell’s to your family one last time before you’re left alone with Jimin and Taehyung.
“Your sister is funny,” Jimin comments as you begin to walk in the opposite direction of them. Your heels were absolutely killing your feet and you were tempted to take them off but thinking about the dirt and grim on the street made you think otherwise.
“She’s sweet on the outside but damn she can be a handful,” you laugh.
“She’s almost twenty five babe, about to hit her first mid-life crisis what do you expect?” Taehyung says.
Minuscule conversation occurs between the three of you before they have to part ways too. Taehyung and Jimin were meeting up with Taehyung’s parents at a bar just outside the city to celebrate. The sun was now setting, the air warm and sticky as you hugged them off. You were walking back to the parking garage that you had your car when something catches your eye on the way. Downtown was filled with bars, restaurants, boutiques and what nots, but you’ve never seen this before. It was an art studio of sorts, pictures—digital and art canvases—hanging from the windows.
You stared at the plexiglass, a sense of familiarity crossing your mind the longer you stared at the blown up photographs. You take a peak at the hours listed on the door and see that they don’t close for another twenty minutes or so. Curiosity getting the best of you, you swing open the door, silence engulfing you as you step in.
Your heels clink against the hardwood, glancing around the space. It’s quite spacious, pictures lining the walls up and down all the way to the back. A few art pieces are strayed in the middle of the floor. You walk slowly around the gallery, admiring the painted canvases and shots of various things. You pick up there’s different artists and photographs displaying their works and when you get towards the back left corner of the place, you stop in your tracks.
A gallery of scenic pictures ranging from clouds, to the sea, to the cityscapes, and more hang beautifully in thin frames. Something twists inside you as you feel deep down that you’ve seen some of these before you just cannot put your finger on it. It’s when you see a picture to the farthest right when you feel yourself skipping a breath. Your mouth parts when you realize what it it—or who it is. It’s you. It’s black and white film developed, the side of your face looking off into the distance with trees behind you. Your mind flashes back to that day in the park—with Jungkook—a small picnic he set up when you first got together.
“Y/N?” you whip around at the sound of your name.
“J-Jungkook?” his name leaves your lips instantly. He’s emerged from a back room stopping dead in his tracks. You’re speechless. He looks so good—better than you remember. His hair a little longer with blonde tips, a white button up, sleeves rolled up with black slacks that he fills out perfectly.
“H-hey,” he speaks first. His eyes trailing up and down your body quickly. You subconsciously glance down at your frame, the white dress and heels you’re wearing hoping to match how he good looks. “What are you doing here?”
“I—“ you pause looking back at the pictures, “I was just passing by and was curious, I didn’t know this place existed.”
Slowly, he steps closer to you shoving his hands in his pockets. His ears are red and he can’t believe that you’re here, looking at his favorite picture he ever took of you.
“It just opened up recently,” he says getting closer to you, though leaving a considerable amount of space between you two. “I started selling some of my pieces through here,” he explains.
“That’s great Jungkook,” you give him a small smile to hide the hurt you’re actually feeling. It’s been months and suddenly all of your progress seems to have backtracked. He was so beautiful—the most perfect man you have ever met—and he’s standing here before you again. Jungkook can’t believe his eyes either—you’re here, feet away from him, something he thought he’d never see anymore.
“How are you doing?” he asks, unable to take his off you. You can feel him staring holes into you and you can’t bring yourself to look at him just yet.
“I’m good, you?” you continuously stare at his photos, feeling self conscious the more you stand in his presence.
“I’m okay,” better now that you’re here, is what he wants to say, but he refrains. “You look good,” he says and you look over and up at him, meeting his eye contact.
“You too,” you nod, your eyes trailing down to his wrist, not even realizing what you’re doing. His watch still there, hasn’t moved since the last time you saw him. You feel a tingle in your fingertips and chest, unable to hide your awkwardness.
“Y/N,” he stops himself so you’ll look at him again. Fuck, he loves it when you look at him like that. “Would you want to get some coffee one day? Or something like that?” his words are brave and you can’t believe he said them.
As much as you know you shouldn’t—that you might be setting yourself up for further hurt—something between the two makes you say otherwise. Besides, you’ve been hurt enough, what’s a little more going to do?
You slowly with a small smile, “What about right now? A-are you free?”
He glances at his photos with a small smile in return before glancing back to you, his shoulders slumping as if a weight has been lifted from his shoulders.
“Yeah… yeah I’m free.”
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airashisakura · 3 years ago
Text
My first entry for @ssskmonth | Prompts used Glances and Years Past
Evolution
Summary: In the journey of life, they lost and found something along the path.
_
Fixing her red ribbon, Sakura glances at the dark-haired boy. Sakura looks around before looking at him again. The classroom is lively as ever — Naruto and Kiba are fighting, Ino is bickering with Choji while Shikamaru yawns and mutters something, Hinata fidgets uncomfortably in her seat while Shino observes everyone. Sasuke’s elbows are resting on the desk, his chin supported by his interlaced fingers. Sakura’s green eyes wander on his face, and a shade of red stains her cheeks. Lucky for her, his eyes are closed. She wonders what he’s thinking.
The classroom is too noisy for his liking. Sasuke wants for Iruka-sensei to start class as soon as possible, because his 5 year old brain thinks the sooner the class starts, the sooner it will end. Today, he wants time to fly fast because his nii-san has promised to pick him up after school.
_
Everytime Sakura glances towards Sasuke while Iruka-sensei lectures about five basic nature of chakra, she finds him gazing out of the window. Strange, she thinks, because Sasuke-kun is always attentive to lessons. She hears Naruto get scolded for not paying attention, and he grumbles that he doesn’t understand a single word. However, this is not the case with Sasuke. She is confident of that. She nods and tells herself Sasuke-kun is a genius. He already knows what sensei is teaching.
Sasuke doesn’t want the class to end today, because he has been tired of being greeted by an empty house and crying himself to sleep. It’s only been a week, and he misses his mother's lap, his father’s voice, and his older brother’s presence. But he shouldn’t miss his older brother, should he? It’s too hard of a question for an 8 year old to figure that out. He bites hard on his lower lip; he doesn't want to cry in front of his classmates.
_
Sakura glances lazily at the campfire in front of her. Still in slumber, she hears Kakashi-sensei waking Sasuke-kun up for the watch. She recalls they were returning from an escort mission, and they were all tired, especially Naruto, to return back to the village immediately. So they settled to sleep under the open sky accompanied by a summer breeze. Sakura smiles in her sleep, thanking her sensei and teammate for giving her some more time to spend with Sasuke-kun.
Sasuke looks toward the sky. The darkness of the night is fading slowly, and in the distance, he could hear the birds chirping, ready to start their day. Kakashi said he needed an hour of rest before they start again for the village. Sasuke doesn't like that. He frowns, mulling over the fact that he isn't making any progress in his plan of revenge with a lazy sensei and two unskilled teammates. However, the 12 year old genin hums in gratitude because these people protect him from lonely nights.
_
It's been a year since Tsunade-sama took Sakura under her tutelage. Sakura tries to slip into a dream where Sasuke hasn't left the village and Team 7 isn't disbanded. But the pain that washes over her body doesn't let her. Grunting, Sakura glances over the picture of Team 7 kept on her bedside table before she shuts her eyelids again. Her 14 year self doesn't know which was more painful — broken bones or a bruised heart.
_
Sakura glances at her reflection before she punches the mirror. Her knuckles bleed, but her punching doesn't stop. Her short breaths change into sobs while her body shakes violently. While tears overflow from her green eyes, she thinks it's better now because broken shreds can't reflect the dark marks of Sasuke's fingers on her pale neck. She cries harder, realizing that the mark would disappear after some days, but the pain that her love for Sasuke brings won't. Her 16 year self was now wise enough to know that bruised hearts hurt more than broken bones.
_
Sakura wonders whether the examination rooms of the hospital are too small? She presses her fingers gently on Sasuke's left stump, examining it. She applies more pressure and glances at Sasuke's face to determine whether his arm still hurts. Sasuke doesn't flinch, though his expressions are unreadable as ever. The 17 year old Sakura isn't naive to deduce a silly conclusion. Although she can't read his thoughts, she feels a pain stirring behind his mismatched orbs.
Sasuke suppresses a gasp when Sakura touches his arm. It hurts a little when she prods him with her fingers, but he doesn't complain. However, it hurts more to accept that Sakura has forgiven him. He wants to jerk away from her touch and tell her not to treat him so gently. He doesn't do that and diverts his mind to search for answers that trouble him — the definition of home, his loyalty to Konoha, and his bonds with Team 7. His wandering mind is dragged to the present moment when Sakura applies more pressure. It hurts more than before, but he doesn't flinch. Instead, he notes that he should thank Sakura before he leaves for his redemption journey tomorrow.
_
After taking a shower, Sakura settles with a cup of tea beside the window. She sips the jasmine tea and hears the sound of falling rain along with metallic sound coming from the room. Sasuke, on the other side of the room, is busy taking care of his chokuto. It has been months they've been married, but Sakura still blushes on the thought that they share a room together. Perhaps she won't ever stop feeling giddy around him, but the 19 years old Sakura knows Sasuke better than before. She knows some of his past, can tell when he is bothered although she doesn't always know the reason, and has seen the little upward tilt of his lips when he is happy. She steals a glance at Sasuke before closing her eyes, and a satisfied smile creeps on her face.
The summer rain had drenched them badly, and out of habit Sasuke settled on the floor after a shower to wipe off the water from his and Sakura's weapons. He almost smiles when Sakura fumbles with the tea pot and watches her as she settles beside the window. He sighs and wipes his chokuto. He is still amazed by how comfortable he is around Sakura. It's the same feeling he had when he was around oka-san, otou-san, and Itachi; he realizes. His fingers abruptly stop on the blade when he remembers something oka-san had said years before. He looks towards Sakura — eyes closed, smiling — and realizes a rented room to take shelter from rain can turn into home because Sakura is there with him.
_
Sakura is tired. The exhaustion from the hours of labor has seeped deep in her bones. She glances at the dark ceiling of the hideout and clutches the sheet closer to her body. She cranes her neck to see the little human she had given birth to, and she smiles softly. Sasuke is curled on the other side of bed, watching their newborn daughter with awe. She catches something in his eyes that she has never seen before, and she feels tears pooling in her eyes. Sakura has once accepted that she couldn’t give Sasuke what he had once lost, but little Sarada has proved her wrong.
Sasuke watches as Sarada scrunches her eyes and wiggles. Sasuke places his index finger on her little palm and starts counting her fingers. Although he stops when she hears Sakura giggling softly. “She is so small,” he tells her, and Sakura says, “She is only a day old.” He hums and though he doesn’t say it out loud, he thanks her as he stares into her green eyes. Sarada’s little adorable fingers wrap around his index finger, and he realizes that at 20 he has found what he lost at a tender age of 8.
_
Sasuke glances at the clock before he slips under the sheet beside Sakura. It's late, and he almost groans on the thought that he has to leave early in the morning for a mission without seeing his daughter. At the age of 33, he wonders sometimes if he has taken the right decision to spend his life out of the village, working from the shadows, protecting the village. He turns around to face Sakura's back and snuggle closer to her body. Sakura stirs in her sleep and sleepily murmurs, “Okaeri.”
“Aah, Tadaima.” He realizes this way he can always come back to Sakura — and come back to his home.
_
FFN | AO3
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fanmoose12 · 3 years ago
Text
catch me if you can
Сharacters: Hange Zoe, Levi, Erwin Smith, Kenny Ackerman
Genres: Mystery / Romance
Summary: The Ackerman duo. Just the mention of this name filled Hange with so many feelings. Mostly, when she reread the files of their cases over and over, until her eyes watered, she felt pricking annoyance. Sometimes, when she stared at the dead bodies of those scarce unfortunates who stumbled upon their crimes, she was filled with hatred and a pushing need for revenge. Hange couldn’t deny, however, there were times when she marveled at the impudence of their crimes. And, when she was investigating the Ackerman’s cases and saw just how meticulously planned they all were, she couldn’t help but feel something close to fascination.No one knew who they were. No one had seen their faces, no one knew their true names. Almost everyone knew of their crimes.Hange was determined to unravel every last one of their secrets. She will put an end to their crimes and then she will get the elusive Ackermans behind bars.
Chapter 7/?
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
The city he had chosen to stay in was terrible.
It was noisy, it was crowdy, and the constant heat was making Levi go insane.
And while the city’s loudness and the amount of people in it made it easier for him to blend in, get lost in plain sight and all that bullshit, the heat— the fucking heat, gods, it was killing him.
Levi didn’t like cold weather, despised all the layer of clothes he had to put on just to get to the nearest supermarket and buy instant noodles, he hated the snow with passion he carried since his childhood, he thought that winter was the worst season of them all.
Oh, how wrong he was.
The heat was making his skin crawl. Even in just tank top and shorts, he felt too hot. Drinking cold water, taking cold showers, none of it helped. Levi turned the air conditioning in his room on maximum, but the motel he was staying at was shitty, his room was shitty, and, as a result, the air conditioning was shitty too.
Levi was sick of it. His skin was constantly clammy and sticky, he couldn’t sleep at night, there was never enough air around him, and walking around the city during the daytime made him seriously consider whether he was actually a vampire.
The sun… could it really burn so much? It didn’t used to be so unbearable before.
But apart from that… Levi was starting to accommodate to his new life.
Leaving his hometown behind, he decided to let go of his previous habits too. He got himself a job - not a respectable, but at least an honest one.
Being a janitor in a shitty bar after spending most of his life as a thief was almost… therapeutic.
The vomit on the walls and piss on the floors were enraging him to the point of seeing red and sometimes he wanted to break a leg of every asshole who didn’t know when they had enough and went to make a mess in the toilet, but… working there was therapeutic nevertheless. And a definite improvement too.
At least, his life wasn’t in danger anymore and he didn’t have to run away from police.
Although, he wouldn’t mind running away from a certain police officer. Perhaps, this time he would let her catch him. Perhaps, then his heart would stop clenching in pain every time he thought about Hange.
Perhaps, then he’d be able to let go.
He tried letting go, forgetting about Hange, just as he tried to put behind his life of crime. Unfortunately, putting Hange behind proved to be that much harder.
Some nights, when the heat was especially bad, he felt especially lonely and the shitty whiskey at the shitty bar he was working at didn’t do the trick, he’d snuck a look at how Hange was doing. He’d open his phone, scroll through a news feed. If he’d get lucky, there would a recording of some press conference with Hange at the center of it all.
Apparently, she was doing well. Her shoulder was almost healed, although sometimes she still winced, when gesticulating too frantically. But the paleness in her face that was present when he had visited her at the hospital was long gone, and at the few press conferences that allowed Levi to catch a glimpse of her, Hange’s cheeks were adorned by healthy, rosy blush. Her hair was just as wild, just as messy, and her voice carried the same inspiring conviction.
Whether Hange found out the truth about him or not, he didn’t know, but she had moved past Ackermans’ case and during the time Levi was getting used to his new life she alredy solved two robberies.
She was working on a new case now, something about a young girl who had mysteriously vanished. Levi didn’t bother to find out the details, the name Krista Lenz meant nothing to him, but nevertheless, he wished that Hange would succeed. She deserved that, her quick wit and determination were meant to be recognized and celebrated.
That bright, happy smile on her face, the one she was sporting during the conference that discussed one of the solved robberies, it suited Hange so much. Levi wished she’d wear it more often.
He wished he’d see it more often, but well… some things just weren’t meant to be.
Strangely so, Kenny didn’t contact him even once. No obnoxious phone call, no mysterious messages or weird gifts. There was no sign of him for almost two months, and Levi would have started worrying, would have tried to contact the man himself, if… if Kenny wasn’t Kenny.
His uncle was like a cockroach, Levi was one hundred percent sure that nothing and no one could cause him any harm. And if there was someone who actually could do this, Kenny would have harmed them back, ten times worse.
Still, the thoughts about Kenny lingered at the back of his mind, and memories about Hange did the same irritating thing. It made Levi feel awfully nostalgic sometimes, borderline melancholic. And fairly quickly he found out there was nothing he could do about it. No amount of whiskey or dirty toilets could chase that sadness away. That sadness was a new part of his new life.
Maybe, it was better than always living on the edge.
Luckily, he didn’t feel so lonely all the time, his colleagues at the bar made sure of that.
And while his boss, a bald, gross man called Shadis definitely wasn’t a joy to have around, two others – a barmaid named Sasha and waiter Connie were so much better.
They were annoying in their own right, of course. Sasha had a weird obsession with food, Connie’s sense of humor left much to be desired, and together both of them were so damn loud, but for brats who barely stepped into adulthood, they provided a fairly enjoyable company.
They let Levi take his mind off certain things, and they kept him from falling into the abyss of loneliness and depression.
They also opened up the side of him that Levi wasn’t even aware of.
Connie had once mentioned in a passing that his mother had died years ago, and whatever happened to Sasha’s family, she wasn’t living with them anymore, sharing a small flat with Connie and another guy, Jean.
In Levi’s humble, unbiased opinion, Jean was a self-centered, pompous jerk. He wasn’t working in the bar with his two friends, and instead had involved himself in some shady shit with a local gang, which apparently terrified the whole neighborhood. Levi wanted to tell the boy that he was a fucking idiot, if he thought that messing with criminals was a good idea, but he doubted that Jean would listen. Luckily, Jean wasn’t around too often and visited the bar only, when he was miserable about some girl he had a crush on, or whenever he wished to get drunk for free.
It was a good thing that Levi barely interacted with Jean. The boy was so annoying. And also – too damn tall.
He didn’t hear about any other friends of theirs, and as far as Levi was aware, there was no actual adult watching over Sasha and Connie, so… he kinda, unwillingly, of course, took that task upon himself.
Obviously, he made sure to remain discreet. He didn’t want the brats to know that he cared, because he didn’t, naturally.
He claimed that he simply cooked too much food and the leftovers would go to waste, if he didn’t give them away, when he brought them pasta or soup. He mentioned his insomnia and pretended that long walks helped him sleep better, when Sasha and Connie went home after midnight. He lied about having experience in bartending when Sasha got stomach flu. He said that he was just accidentally passing by their apartment, when later that day he visited to check on her.
The brats were too dense to notice his subtle attempts anyway, or so Levi hoped. They had never brought it up, and that had to mean something, right?
And that time when Connie tried to fix Levi’s air conditioning, or when Sasha brought a whole jar of his favorite tea, or all those evenings when he felt blue and homesick and they helped him clean the bar and took him out to dinner, surely it was nothing more than a coincidence.
The brats had their moments, Levi had to admit, and sometimes their presence was almost pleasant.
But sometimes they made him wish they shut their mouths and never opened them again.
Right now, that desire was more prevalent than ever.
“Say, Mister Levi,” Levi hated when they called him that, it made him sound even older than he actually was. He told them to stop it, many times. But the brats didn’t care. He slowly raised his eyes to show that he was listening. As soon as he did, Sasha put a fist underneath her chin, forgetting about the important task of cleaning the glasses to stare at him curiously. “Do you have someone?”
“Someone?” he had an inkling of what Sasha was asking him about, but he didn’t wish to discuss that with the damned brats. He didn’t wish to discuss that topic with no one, ever. Because… there was nothing to discuss.
“Yep, someone!” Connie chimed in. “Like, hm, a significant other?”
“A beloved!” Sasha agreed, nodding enthusiastically.
Levi felt the migraine coming. “I don’t have any kind of someone,” he gritted. “And I never did.”
“Really?” Sasha tilted her head to the side, looking so skeptical that Levi was ready to get offended. Was he not convincing enough? “I thought you do. It’s just that sometimes—”
“When you think no one is looking!” Connie swiftly added.
“Your face seems so much softer, and your scowl almost disappears, and you look—”
“Just like Jean when he thinks about Mikasa.”
Who the fuck was Mikasa? And what face was Jean making? Levi couldn’t be making the same one, could he?
“But if you say there is no one,” Sasha sighed, returning to her task of cleaning glasses. Wearing the same sad face as she did, Connie went back to gathering dishes from the tables. “Then I guess we’re wrong.”
Damn right, they were. There was no one, and whatever face they thought he was making, it couldn’t possibly be related to a certain police officer from the other side of the world.
“And if there is no one you have to think about,” Sasha winked, like she was seeing right through him. “Then let me make you a drink. It’s a new recipe I found, it involves tequila, vodka and—”
Levi raised a hand to cut her off. “Just surprise me.”
Sasha nodded and went to work. She frequently let Levi taste her new cocktails. He was the perfect man for it – he didn’t get drunk too fast, and he was the only Sasha’s friend who tasted something better than cheap whiskey or a beer from a local supermarket. He also never shied away from telling her when the drink was fucking awful.
Sasha hummed as she mixed the drink, some song Levi vaguely recognized from the radio. She was smiling too, she did that frequently, and something about her, be it the ponytail that jumped up and down when she was excited, or her easy-going, cheerful personality reminded him of Hange.
These days, lots of things reminded him about Hange. There were days when almost everything reminded him of Hange. It seemed like today was exactly a day like that.
“You’re making that same face again,” Sasha whispered, as she handed him the drink.
Levi scowled, glaring at the girl, as he put the glass up to his lips. He finished it in one go. “It tastes like shit,” he told her. “Put it on the menu.”
Sasha beamed, refilling his glass. “Knew you’d like it.”
“By the way, boss,” Levi wasn’t their boss, as far as he was aware, their actual boss was getting drunk in his office, all the while mumbling incomprehensible gibberish about some Carla. But Levi had to admit, being called boss was so much better than the godforsaken mister Levi. "Are you free tonight?"
Levi was free every day and every night, when he wasn’t working in the bar with Connie and Sasha. It wasn’t like he had any friends or even acquaintances beside two brats. However, saying it out loud would make him look even more pathetic that he actually was. So Levi shrugged, and said, as nonchalantly as possible, “Depends.”
“Would you like to come over for dinner?” Connie asked, looking at him with a smile so hopeful that Levi was ready to say yes right that instant. God, they already had him wrapped around their fingers. How embarrassing. At least, Kenny wasn’t here to witness it. He’d have a laugh of his life, if he found that Levi was adopted by two teenagers. “Jean is away on a trip, so we’d be glad to have some company.”
“He went to see his family?”
From the way Sasha bit her lip and Connie refused to meet his eye, Levi knew – their friend didn’t go on a simple trip. He sighed, taking a sip from his glass and letting the bitter liquid burn his throat. Admittedly, it was none of his business. He shouldn’t care about it, he wasn’t their father, for god’s sake. But… a friendly piece of advice wouldn’t hurt, right?
“Your friend plays with fire. And if he continues doing so—”
“Jean knows what he is doing,” Connie crossed hands on his chest defensively. “He is smart.”
Levi couldn’t help but scoff. “Just being smart is not enough. There will always be someone smarter.”
“Jean knows what he is doing,” Connie repeated stubbornly. “He’ll be fine.”
Maybe, he will, maybe, he won’t. At the end of the day, Levi had no say about it. He might call them brats, but they were already adults. They were allowed to do as they wished. They were bound to make some mistakes.
“Tell him to be more careful. Otherwise, you’ll suffer too.”
Levi left it at that, not wanting to antagonize Sasha and Connie any further. Besides, it was time to open the bar, or the drunkards all across the block would start banging on their doors. Worse than that, Shadis might come out of his office too. His sour face was the last thing Levi wished to see.
“Let’s get to work,” he nodded to the kids, and took his drink to the dark corner of the room, where he usually spend his shifts, waiting until the patrons start making a mess he’d have to clean.
Surprisingly, the evening came and went, but there was no mess for him to deal with. No one vomited, no one shitted all over the toilets. No one spilled their beer on the floor, or even a table. Were their patrons starting to learn how act like people, and not pigs? Or were they so well-behaved because it was just the beginning of a week? Or did the heat finally get to them and turn them just as slow and tired as Levi himself felt?
However, the weather was more merciful that day. The temperature was still high, too high for Levi’s taste, but just after the sunset the wind was starting to pick up, the storm slowly brewing. During the smoke break outside the bar, Levi could see the lightening, illuminating the far edge of the sky. The rain was in the air, and he allowed his lips to curl up in a pleased smile. Perhaps, he’d finally be able to sleep through the whole night and not toss and turn, feeling like the bed turned into a scorching pan.
When he went back inside, the bar was almost empty, just a few regulars left, nursing their half-finished drinks.
“Do you want to have pizza or sushi?” Sasha asked, as he started sweeping the floor. “We can order both if you wish.”
Levi rolled his eyes with a disgusted tsk. “Eating so much takeout is unhealthy. Let’s finish here and go to supermarket. I’ll cook you something decent.”
Connie yelled a loud yahoo, while Sasha squeezed him in a suffocating hug. The heartwarming moment was cut short, when the door to the bar was thrown open with a loud bang.
It let inside the gush of wind and drops of freezing rain. With a broom still in his hands, Levi turned sharply to the door, ready to rip the unlucky drunkard a new one, the bar had closed almost an hour ago, the sign was right there for everyone to see.
All harsh words died on the way between his throat and his tongue. Levi froze on the spot, and in the silence that followed the lightning strike was as sudden as a gunshot.
Sasha’s distressed cry and Connie’s shocked sob put him out of the stupor.
Throwing the broom away, Levi moved, catching the falling, bloodied boy into his arms.
“Jean!” Sasha was the first one of the two to snap out of it. She ran to Levi, with trembling hands lifting up her friend’s face.
“What the fuck had happened?” Connie kneeled next to them, his eyes wide and scared as he stared at Jean.
Jean looked awful, there was no way around it. His cheeks and jaw were bruised, his right eye was already swollen, and his light brown hair had too much red in it.
“I’m sorry,” he croaked out, too weak and injured to offer something more than a shaking whisper. “I’m sorry, I’ve fucked up, I didn’t know where to run and now they’re coming here, I didn’t mean to do this, I didn’t think, I—”
He could continue that nonessential ramble for the rest of the night. But if they, whoever those they were, were truly coming, Jean and his friends didn’t have that much time. Carefully, Levi lifted Jean’s arm, wincing when he saw that the boy’s shirt was bloodied too, and threw it over Connie’s shoulder. Then he took the key from the back pocket of his shorts and thrusted it into Sasha’s palm.
“Take him to my room in the motel.”
“And you?”
Levi pushed the hair away from his face, already hating himself for his next words. Kenny was right, he cared too much, and it was his biggest weakness, one that would probably get him killed one day. Perhaps, that day had already arrived.
“I’ll stay here and buy you some time.”
“No!” Jean protested, frantically grabbing Levi by the elbow. “It’s my fuck up, you shouldn’t get involved, you don’t know—”
“I do know. And unlike you, I can actually take care of myself.”
Perhaps, he was too harsh, but it was necessary. Jean had fucked up, and whatever he had done, he had to own that mistake and learn from it. That was the only way he would survive through another one of his mistakes.
“Hurry up,” he told Sasha and Connie. “I’ll meet you as soon as I’m finished.”
Thankfully, they didn’t try to argue. Connie wished him luck and Sasha made him promise to come back, and that was it.
As soon as they had left, Levi hopped behind the bar counter to pour himself a shot of whiskey. He lighted up a cigarette, waiting for the front door to swing open and Jean’s persecutors to arrive. Hopefully, they’d do it without guns blazing.
He was just finishing the first glass and was thinking of getting himself a second one, when the mighty kick almost as loud as the thunder outside pushed the door open. Three men tumbled inside a second later, their faces transformed by fury into caricature masks.
“Where is that son of a bitch?” roared one in the middle, their leader, Levi assumed.
Levi was in no hurry to answer. He took the last drag of the cigarette, meticulously put it down against the surface of an ashtray. Then looked at the men in front of him. “The bar is closed. There is no one here but me.”
“Stop fucking with us!” the asshole on the left shouted. “We saw him run inside!”
“If that fucker isn’t here, perhaps we should look around for his friends,” the third man offered. “I know they’re working here.”
So there was no way around it? Levi sighed, walking from beyond the counter. “Just so you know,” approaching the men, he cracked his knuckles. “I don’t condone violence.”
One of the thugs started laughing, the other two immediately followed. Levi didn’t expect any other reaction. The men were burly, large, they definitely weren’t smart.
“What are you going to do to us, midget? Do you seriously think you can beat us up?”
The insult was followed by a punch, a careless, blundering one. Levi effortlessly dodged it, delivering a vicious kick to the stomach of his attacker. The man - who upon the close inspection had yellow teeth and reeked of cheap alcohol – staggered. He caught himself at the last second, holding onto nearest table with white-knuckled desperation. Levi hit again, this time with his knee. With a gasp that turned into a groan, the man fell onto the ground.
Luckily, he stayed there, and Levi turned his attention to the other two.
The one who stood at the left attacked instantly, aiming his enormous fist at Levi’s jaw. There was an unfinished bottle of whiskey on the counter right behind him, and Levi grabbed it, smashing it against the man’s head. The resulting sound was loud, almost deafening. Levi tried to forget about the mess of spilled whiskey on the floor and let himself enjoy that pleasant sound for another moment.
That was a slight miscalculation on his part, because the last man apparently was armed with knife, and he swung it without hesitation. Levi jumped to the side, but wasn’t quick enough. The knife’s edge kissed his cheek, leaving a smear of blood behind it. A mere second later, the knife was in the air once again. Levi was ready for it this time, but as he prepared to take a swift step back, his ankle refused to budge. He looked down to see that one of the defeated men was back in the game, still laying on a floor, but holding Levi in one place. Levi quickly dealt with him, using another leg to kick the man’s head. It took him no more than a moment, but it was enough for him to lose sight of his last attacker. Whatever plan of retaliation Levi had, he lost it, when the knife embedded in his forearm, making him hiss and cuss. Irritated, he roughly grabbed the hand that held the knife, twisting the arm at the wrist.
There was a loud crack, then the even louder scream.
Not too elegant, but, at least, it did the job.
Yanking the knife out of his arm, Levi threw it away, allowing it to clutter on the ground.
“Get the fuck out of here!” he snarled at the men, who weren’t laughing anymore. On the contrary, their faces were panicked, frightened. They pathetically scrambled to their feet, pushing each other to get outside as fast as possible. “And don’t come back!” Levi shouted to their backs.
When the door fell closed, Levi slumped back against the counter. The spot on his cheek was tingling unpleasantly, his arm was hurting like a bitch, and the whole bar had turned into a mess – the shards of glass and spilled whiskey were all over the floor. The blood from his arm was creating a small puddle too.
Levi viciously cursed and grabbed a towel, making a make-shift bandage. It had to do for the time being.
One mess was dealt with, and now another was awaiting him. He’d be lucky if the dirty floor would be the biggest of his troubles tonight.
But somehow, Levi knew that it was just the beginning.
***
Levi never considered himself to be a philosophic kind of person, he never pondered on the meaning of things, never felt the desire to look at the problem at hand from all possible angles, never reflected on his feelings and emotions.
He did however notice that the small room he had rented in a shitty motel at the edge of the city never felt to him like home. It was a place to live, it had a bed to sleep, it held some of his belongings, but it wasn’t a home, it didn’t provoke in him the feeling of belonging that he found inside the walls of his and Kenny’s old apartment.
He spent a little more than two months, living in that shithole, and never once he thought – I’m home, never once he felt – I belong right here.
But something very similar was blooming in his chest, when he passed the threshold of his shitty motel room and fell right into the arms of Connie and Sasha.
Sasha started cleaning his wounds right away, while Connie rushed to get the new bandages for his bloodied arm.
“You should have been more careful,” Sasha chided, and, fuck, he really got adopted by a couple of kids just like that.
“We could have dealt with this ourselves,” Connie said, and then, after a little pause, added, “Probably.”
Levi hummed and resisted the urge to ruffle the hair on their heads. He didn’t have that much affection for the little shits. Probably.
Just as they finished, Jean appeared, unsteadily walking out of the bathroom. He stopped not long after, leaning against the doorframe. Patched up and cleaned, he still didn’t look like his usual, confident and complacent self. Now he reminded Levi of a puppy who was thoroughly and viciously kicked. His hair was now clean of blood, but the shirt was still covered in red patches. Levi would have offered him one of his own t-shirts, but… on Jean’s lanky body it’d look more like a crop top. Or a child’s shirt.
“I’m sorry,” Jean murmured, not meeting Levi’s eyes. “I didn’t know it’d lead to this.”
Yeah, they almost never know. Levi sighed, there was no point in scolding boy any further. He had realized his fuck up already, his buddies from the gang made sure of that.
“What the hell happened?” Levi asked, his back turned to Jean, as he went to prepare the tea for all of them. It would help to soothe some of Jean’s injuries, and it would also help to relieve Levi of the building tension in his shoulders.
“I… wasn’t quite ready for this life, I guess,” Jean sat down on a bed, covering his face with hands. “There is a guy I’ve been working with, he stole some drugs he was supposed to sell, and other gang members found out and decided to punish him, make an example out of him, but that guy… he was my friend, sort of? We hanged out a lot, and I just couldn’t see him get hurt like that…”
“Oh my god!” Sasha’s hands flew to her face and her mouth opened wide. “Did you get beat up because you tried to protect Marco?”
Connie snorted. “I see you’re getting over Mikasa pretty quickly.”
Behind his hands, Jean’s face started to gain color. “I just helped a guy out.”
“And didn’t even ask for a kiss after the heroic rescue?” Sasha teased.
“There wasn’t much time for kisses after the whole gang started running after us.”
“You poor thing,” Connie patted Jean’s head, sharing a mischievous look with Sasha. “Didn’t even get a kiss for all the trouble.”
The two boys started to bicker, and Levi watched the scene, feeling the pounding inside his head increase. It’d be a long, long night. The one he’d have to spend sleeping on a floor, because there were three brats in his room and only one queen-sized bed.
He raised a hand, putting a stop to the argument that was starting to raise in volume.
“Is the other guy alright?” he asked Jean, as he handed him a cup, filled with steaming tea.
Jean accepted the drink with a grateful nod, but didn’t answer the question right away, staring inside the cup thoughtfully. “He managed to get out of the city. The assholes that beat me up caught me just after he got on a bus.”
Well, that was certainly good news. The only one they received since the beginning of this evening.
“You have to run away too, preferably for quite some time. Those guys won’t forget about you so easily. Do you have a place where you can hide?”
“Well…” frowning, Jean rubbed his neck, “My parents have a summer house…”
“Excellent, does anyone know about it?”
“No, not even these idiots,” Jean answered, pointing at Sasha and Connie.
“Then take these idiots, because your gangster pals know, where all of you live and work,” Levi grumbled. “And get out of here first thing in the morning. Spend a few months in the countryside, wait until this shitty storm is over.”
“And what about you? Now they know about you too.”
What about him… good question. And a very easy one to answer. He’d have to change cities again, luckily, he already had some experience with that. Sure, it was an inconvenience, but… better than live his life and have to constantly look over his shoulder, or die in some dirty alleyway. Perhaps, he’d be able to return some day, when the tensions were long over.
“I’ll leave the city,” he told them. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”
“You had to run away before?” Connie asked, awe written all over his face. “So cool!”
“And you beat up all these guys for us!” Sasha agreed, adoration shining in her gaze.
“You aren’t just a janitor, eh?” Jean stared at him with narrowed eyes.
Levi saved from answering by a loud shrill of the phone.
Everyone in the room tensed, Levi felt his heart pounding inside his chest, a relentless boom, boom, boom. He wet his lips, his throat suddenly too dry, and stood up.
“No!” Jean grabbed his arm, stopping Levi from picking up the phone. Levi understood his panic, it was the middle of the night, who in their right mind would call him at this time? Who would call him period, all the people Levi knew in this city were sitting next to him. Unless, it was Shadis who got out of his drunken stupor and decided to have a friendly chat with a janitor from his bar?
And if it wasn’t Shadis, then…
Acutely feeling his every heartbeat, Levi pulled his arm out of Jean’s grasp. Swallowing that persisting lump inside his throat down, he put his hand on a phone handle. Slowly, holding in his breath, he lifted the phone and put it to his ear.
“Is your name even Levi? Or was that another lie, you asshole?”
That voice. Her voice. Levi helplessly fell back in the armchair behind him.
“H-hange?” the crack in his voice was heard and analyzed by a bunch of kids, who now all stood beside him. Levi waved them away, drowning out the intrigued murmuring, and focused on a person on the other side of the line.
“You still remember my name, I’m flattered, Ackerman,” ah, so she found out. Not surprising in the slightest, but disappointing nevertheless. But how did she find out? And when? And why she was calling now? And how she managed to obtain the number of a motel he was staying at? So many questions, Levi wanted to ask them all at once. He didn’t even know where to start. “And just a piece of friendly advice, next time you go into hiding, don’t go around asking police officers on a date.”
Well, that was one question answered. Only one hundred remained.
“Are you going to arrest me now?”
“No, unfortunately,” Hange bitterly replied. “I need you, Ackerman. For work,” she added, before Levi could get any ideas and just before his heart started racing like crazy. “Take the first flight back to city, if you don’t want me to drag you out of there by force. I’ll be waiting for you in the airport.”
Hange was going to end the call, Levi could practically see her finger hover over the button. Before she did, he cried out, “Wait!” and then, much more calmly he added, “What do you need me for?”
“Your uncle went missing. I need you to help me find him.”
The line went dead immediately after that. It took Levi another moment to pull himself together.
Kenny was… missing? Kenny, his ruthless, unstoppable uncle? And Hange was looking for him? Too much was unknown, too much was unclear, too much was yet to be explained.
One thing for sure, he wouldn’t find the answers here. Well, one problem was solved then, he didn’t have to change cities anymore. He’d just have to return home.
“So.”
Just a short word, but so much meaning was put in it. With a feeling of dread, Levi turned to face Sasha. He shuddered at the sight of her wide, shit-eating smile.
“Hange, hm?” she asked, twirling a lock of hair.
“Hange is your someone, right?” Connie excitedly exclaimed. “Your Mikasa?”
“Hange is his Marco,” Sasha corrected, earning a vicious curse and a middle finger from Jean. “I guess it’s all over with Mikasa.”
It was all over with Hange too. There was nothing with Hange to begin with. And there would be nothing, because apparently she hated him now. For a good reason too.
Fuck. Kenny, Hange, the brats, they all caused Levi a massive headache. And there was no running away from it, they’d find him whenever he ran.
Perhaps, it meant that he had to stop running. And come back home.
“Let’s go to sleep,” he told the kids. “A long journey is ahead of you. And ahead of me too.”
“You’re leaving? To your Hange?”
“Hange is not my someone, I’m just leaving,” Levi grunted, turning off the light. “Go to sleep before I knock you all out.”
Thankfully, they listened and got on a bed without a word of complain.
“It’s good that your Hange found you,” Sasha mumbled, already sleepy. “Maybe, now you won’t be so sad anymore.”
Sasha seemed to fall asleep immediately after, not waiting for Levi’s answer. Or, perhaps, she wasn’t interested in it.
Soon Connie was out as well, and even Jean, after a few of tosses, turns and more than a dozen pained groans managed to settle in comfortably and fall into deep slumber.
Levi didn’t get so lucky, the thoughts about what tomorrow would bring swirling in his mind and keeping him awake.
But, well… at least his melancholy and homesickness wouldn’t be a problem anymore. After two months of being away, he was going home at last.
Strangely, the prospect didn’t seem that thrilling.
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arctickat2400 · 3 years ago
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Love Reunited <> Sebastian Stan
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Y/N walked through Central Park, taking in her new surroundings. She just moved to New York, or back to New York. She smiled at the fresh air, the cool November breeze blowing through her hair. Katie walked onto the sidewalk and strolled by the shops and restaurants lining the streets.
Just then, Y/N came across a quaint, 3-story bookstore cafe. She’s never noticed it before, or maybe she just doesn’t remember it. She wandered inside, the little bell on the door jingling, announcing her arrival. She glanced around as the warmth surrounded her. It wasn’t busy. Only one or two other people occupied the place. An older couple sat together, deep in conversation with coffee mugs and a shared piece of pastry in the middle of the small table.
Looking up, there was a balcony on the second floor with the bookstore. There was a set of spiral stairs leading downstairs where, further inside, Y/N spotted the cafe counter and a display case filled with what looked like fresh, delicious cakes and pastries.
She walked in, overlooking the menu and then the display. Just then, as Y/N figured out what she wanted, her eyes darted towards the spiral staircase as footsteps skipped down to the cafe.
“Sorry to keep you waiting. Don’t worry, I heard you come in,” Y/N heard a familiar chuckle and voice but thought nothing of it. “What can I…” the voice was cut off as Y/N met the eyes that belonged to the voice.
“Sebastian?” Y/N was completely shocked, her long-time best friend from years ago stood just a few feet away from her. She never thought she’d see him again.
“Y/N? Is that really you?” That smile you could never forget crept onto his face. She started for him.
“Oh my god, it’s so great to see you!” Sebastian exclaimed, meeting her halfway and embracing her in his arms. Y/N never thought she’d feel the homely warmth she only ever experienced with him.
“It’s been too long, Seba,” Y/N never failed to make him blush with that nickname. He smiled as he held her close, missing the love that filled his arms.
“How are you?” She asked as he stood in front of her, shoving his hands in his pockets.
“Great, actually. Been keeping busy with this place. Started it up a few years after…” Sebastian stopped short, and Y/N knew what he was gonna say. “After you left.” He finished, Y/N’s face falling at the thought of how they left off. “But, it’s been going well.” A silence fell between the two friends.
“Well, how have you been? Can I get you anything?” Y/N let out a slight giggle at his questions as he made his way around the counter.
“Um… can I actually get a black tea and a brownie?” Y/N asked as he replied, “Of course. Brownies are still your favorite snack, I see.” Y/N blushed. “They look so good. Kinda like the ones you used to make back in the day.” Y/N added with a smile, reminiscing on the memories.
“Well, I actually made everything here,” he gestured towards the display. “Well, me and my co-worker.” He smiles as he hands Katie one of the brownies and begins on the black tea.
“So, how are you? Never thought I’d see you back in New York, not for a while at least.” Sebastian gave her a sweet, sincere smile.
“I’m alright. Not my usual self. Haven’t been for a while, really. I actually just moved back,” She paused, and she knew that look on his face. Confused, concerned, in need to know more. “It’s a long story.” She chuckled, her gaze shifting towards the floor.
“Well, I’d love to catch up. Maybe I could take you out sometime. I close around 7. I could pick you up around 7:30, take you to your favorite restaurant I know you’ve been missing.” Y/N couldn’t help but blush at how well he still knew her. Ever since they met, he always knew her better than she knew herself.
“I’d really like that.” Y/N smiled as Sebastian did so, finishing up her tea.
Y/N stood there, lost in thought at what she and Sebastian used to have before things got all screwed up, before she moved away. She didn’t even realize she was staring at him when he called her name.
Coming back to the present, “Oh, sorry,” she paused, seeing the tea on the counter in front of her. She always became a bit flustered when it came to Sebastian. “Um… what do I owe you?” Y/N questioned, digging in her mini backpack for her wallet.
“No charge. The least I could do for my best friend.” Sebastian replied. “Come, have a seat.” He took her tea and led her to one of the tables in the cafe.
Sebastian excused himself for a moment to check on the couple to see if they needed anything. As he made his way back to Y/N, she was taking off her jacket that hid one of her secrets. It was barely noticeable at first, but Sebastian noticed quickly. He noticed everything about her, even the things no one else did. He didn’t say anything though. She was, what looked like, 3 months pregnant, and he was even more eager for tonight to come. He knew Y/N has been through a lot since they last saw each other.
“So, what’s new besides the cafe? Anyone new in your life?” Y/N offered her famous smirk that Sebastian missed almost more than anything else.
“Well…” Sebastian was about to answer before a child’s voice filled your ears.
“Daddy! Daddy!” Y/N’s eyes widened in surprise as a little girl, about 5 years old, came running down the stairs towards Sebastian. He opened his arms as she rushed straight into his embrace. He picked her up and perched her on his lap.
“Hey, baby girl.” Sebastian, then, met your gaze and let out a small chuckle. “Y/N, I’d like you to meet my co-worker, more commonly known as my daughter, Grace.” The little girl giggled as she wrapped her arms around his neck, laying her head on his chest. He pressed a kiss to her forehead.
Y/N was speechless. So, this was the co-worker that he was talking about before.
“Daddy, who's that?” Grace asked, glancing towards Y/N.
“This, my love, is Y/N. My very good friend from years ago.” The statement brought a smile to both Sebastian and Y/N’s faces. Grace perked up, leaning forward against the table as Sebastian held her at the waist to keep her secure on his lap.
“You’re Y/N? The one daddy’s always talking about? The girl that stole his heart?” There was a bright sparkle in the little girl's eyes, a look of complete and utter astonishment. Her lips lifted into an adorably beautiful smile.
Y/N could feel the tears building up in her throat at Grace’s words. The thought that Sebastian actually talked about her, thought about her the way he did. She looked up at him with a look of amazement, shock, an emotion unknown in her eyes. Sebastian let out a laugh that Y/N knew was only created from embarrassment. It was cute. She composed herself.
“Well, I don’t know about the last part, but yes, I am Y/N. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Grace.” Y/N smiled brightly at the girl. Grace held out her hand, and, shaking her hand, Y/N was amazed at the girl's manners. She must’ve gotten them from her daddy.
A minute later, “Daddy, I’m tired.” Grace admitted, leaning back against Sebastian as he wrapped his arms around her.
“Okay, sweetheart. How about you go upstairs and take a nap? I’ll take you to grandma’s later. I have plans with the pretty lady over here.” Sebastian met Y/N’s gaze, sharing a breathtaking smile, winking at her. Y/N couldn’t help but blush. Grace nodded.
“Nice to finally meet you, Miss Y/N.” Grace squeaked.
“You as well.” Y/N smiled, waving to her as she made her way upstairs. There must’ve been an apartment on the third floor.
Y/N looked back at Sebastian and he had a guilty smile on his face.
“Well, she has some fantastic manners.” Y/N smiled with a bit of a chuckle mixed in.
“Yeah, we have a lot to talk about.” Sebastian let out a small laugh, making Y/N smile more. His laugh was always contagious.
“Well, I hate to take you away from your work, but it doesn’t seem like you’re too busy,” Y/N mentioned, gazing around the vacant cafe before meeting his eyes again.
“You never fail to say what’s on your mind, Y/N,” Sebastian commented, leaning forward on the table, leaning his head in his hand as he offered a sweet smile.
“Some things never change.” Y/N smiles back.
“Well, where to start…” He begins, leaning back in his chair. “I guess, when you left, when I heard you’d moved to L.A. with your boyfriend I never knew about,” the mention of Y/N’s ex made her wince. Sebastian noticed that, too, and knew something must have happened. But, he was going to wait for Y/N to bring it up herself. “I had kinda shut down. I continued with a movie I was working on, and I formed a relationship with one of my co-stars. We had a thing going on for a month or so. One thing led to another and 9 months later, Grace was born.” Sebastian paused as you leaned forward, listening intently on his story.
“It wasn’t a very stable relationship to begin with. Once she had Grace, it had only been a few weeks later that she left. I came home to a note on the table saying that she couldn’t handle whatever was going on at the time. She couldn’t handle a baby. I didn’t think I could either. I had gone into Grace’s room to find her asleep in her crib. I don’t know how long she’d been alone for. She was fine, though, so I guess that’s what matters.” Y/N could see the tears building up, his voice wavering at the memories. He rubbed his eyes, followed by a rough sniffle.
“So, from then on, it was just me and Grace. I knew I couldn’t work on any more movies or accept any more jobs for a while. But, I needed money. So, I bought this building, thinking it would be perfect. A steady business connected to an apartment that easily became home for the two of us. It was hard at first, getting used to living alone with a baby and starting a business. It got easier over time. And since then, there’s never been anyone besides Grace. I’ve never wanted anyone else. She’s all I needed. I’ve had my mom watch over her when I needed help. As she got older, I was able to keep her around here while I worked. She would visit with the customers. They love her.” He chuckled and Y/N smiled at the sweet relationship between the father and daughter.
“Now, she’ll help upstairs in the bookstore if anyone needs help. She’ll help me in the kitchen. Taught her everything we know. She’ll bring orders to customers. She’s just everything I never knew I needed.” Y/N rarely saw this side of Sebastian. There was never a reason to see him this way. He was staring off into space, and you could tell his mind was in a million different places.
“She seems like a great little girl, Seba. I’m glad you’ve had her all this time.” Y/N comforted him. They sat in comfortable silence for a minute or two, staring into each other’s eyes. Y/N never knew she could miss anything or anyone as much as she missed Sebastian. And for him, as he memorized Y/N’s eyes after all those years, he finally reunited with the love he’s always felt for this girl. He just hoped he’d never have to part with it again, never have to part from her again.
“Well, I should probably get back to work. Almost closing time.” Sebastian commented, breaking the silence, and Katie nodded in agreement. “Can I get you anything else? Maybe grab you something to go? Not that I’m rushing you out or anything. Stay as long as you’d like.” He offered, standing up. Y/N giggled as he stumbled over his words, and he just chuckled at himself once he noticed her comforting smile. Y/N stood up as well, though with a little bit of a struggle that he could tell. He took her hand, setting his other on the small of her back, helping her up.
She gave him a weak smile. “Thank you. I’ve been in a bit of pain lately.” She explained, but she didn’t need to.
“No worries. I completely understand.” Sebastian gave her a concerned, but sincere smile.
Y/N locked eyes with him, and she couldn’t help but share the smile.
“It was really nice to see you again, Seba. I missed you.” Y/N confessed as she went in for a hug. Sebastian didn’t hesitate to welcome her into his arms.
“I missed you, too, Y/N. I hope your transition back home won’t be too hard. And don’t be afraid to ask us for anything. We’re happy to help.” Sebastian said with that sweet, loving smile.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Y/N replied, shrugging on her jacket. “Thank you for the tea and the brownie. Just as good as I remember them.” Y/N smiled, making Sebastian blush lightly.
“Of course. Anything for you, Y/N. I’ll see you tonight, 7:30.” He reminded her in a quiet tone.
“See you then, Seba. Tell Grace I said goodbye.” Y/N responded and he nodded. She blushed as Sebastian leaned down to press a kiss on her cheek. Y/N, then, walked out of the cafe that she predicted she’d be spending a lot of time at in the near future.
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ktheist · 5 years ago
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nice guys finish last | m
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synopsis. you thought you were over yoongi’s dick move of ending your engagement through his parents - not even a text when he disappeared out of your life. that’s why you agreed to the newly arranged marriage with his brother, namjoon, but on the brink of your wedding day, it becomes apparent that you haven’t really let go of the past as you tear up in front of your soon-to-be husband at the back room of the church.
◟alternatively, “we entered into this marriage for a mutual reason. not dreading to come home is more than i can ask for. so it’s okay if you want to see yoongi just... keep out of the spotlight like many in our shoes who found love outside of it have.”
pairings. husband!ceo!namjoon x doctor!reader x ex-fiance!producer!yoongi
genre. arraged marriage au. angst. fluff. smut.
word. 16.2k
content: age gap factor (namjoon is 5 years older than oc and yoongi is 7 years older than oc). pining. teasing. hoseok cockblocking.
warning(s): heavy adult content. mentions of cheating. hospital scenes.
verse. knj. ksj. myg. kth. pjm. jjk. jhs. story time.
x
“i don’t want to marry you at all. the person i love is someone else.” there are tears brimming in your eyes but if there’s anything the years of etiquette class namjoon’s parents forced on him taught him - he’d say he turned out okay - it’s to not mention to the crying lady that she’s crying. but he can’t help stare a little longer. admire a little too much.
the rays flooding through the window paired with the prettiest ivory dress he’s seen you in gives you an iridescent halo. you look like an angel descended from the top most heavens.
but not for him.
“i know,” he lets out a drawn out sigh, hand on his neck. he’s always been the awkward one between the two. if it was him - if it was his brother, he would say it without any ounce of self-reproach. but then again what does namjoon have to be sorry for? for being born? for being the second choice son to step into his brother’s shoes when the aforementioned man threatened to disown the family name if their parents refused to let him marry a girl of his choice who, according to the workers’ gossip, ‘he suddenly woke up one day and decided he was in love with’? 
“it’s yoongi, isn’t it? you love yoongi.”
your eyes are prettier when you’re looking directly at him. the tears give them a kind of glow that makes him want to gather you into his arms and keep you there. the flushed cheeks affirms - despite saying it with full confidence, it was just - his hunch.
oh.
the ceremony proceeds rather smoothly. you’re still sniffling when your father passes your hand to him at the end of the aisle. the older man himself looks distraught. either he knows you’re against this marriage and hates himself for failing to put his daughter’s happiness before the guaranteed wealth that comes from marrying you off to the kim family or you’d gotten into a fight with him in a last ditch attempt to convince him to call off the marriage.
either way, you’re here now. the pastor’s words are muddled in your ears but it’s enough to take note of the end tone and the steely silence that ensues which could only mean it’s your turn to say those words.
“i do.” they’re the easiest to get over with.
after endless fights with your parents, going on two hunger strikes and running away to paris for a year - you know you’re in the endgame. and you’ve painstakingly and sorely lost.
he lifts the veil off your face, taking his time with setting it over your head. it’s no secret that kim namjoon is handsome. the kind of thick, textured-fabric-suit-wearing and sleek-back hair kind of handsome. yoongi was more of the hoodie-and-jeans and messy-in-need-of-a-trim hair kind of handsome. but he isn’t yoongi.
you screw your eyes shut, refusing to let the memories of your own wedding vows embed in your head. those beautiful pink full lips are as soft as they look. but they’re not kissing you on your pressed-into-a-straight-line lips. betrayed by your curiosity, your eyes flutter open only to gaze upon the smooth cream skin that wraps around his neck and just the gentle protrusion of his adam’s apple as he pulls way.
your newly-wed husband has just kissed you on the forehead.
x
adjusting to married life is as easy as slipping on your favorite shoes. it’s perfect. almost unsettling even. the beach house off the coast of the private island namjoon’s family owns is breathtaking. the sound of waves crashing against the shores is your constant companion as you work on your research. it’s a project you had to put aside when you graduated. the first year at the hospital is the busiest, or so your senior colleagues say. 
namjoon strides into the kitchen sometime past noon, all fresh and showered with a fitting long sleeved shirt and trousers. it’s the most dressed down you’ve ever seen and yet for some people you know, it’s the fanciest they can get. sometimes you wonder if the standards have hit the ground or if namjoon’s so well-adapted into the routine of dressing up presentable enough to go to his office on an off day in case something calls for it.
“good morning.” you greet first, traces of the embarrassing tear-jerking wedding ceremony still lingers in the back of your mind - you’d tried to explain yourself on the way here in the boat but namjoon had easily blew your worries away with a light chuckle and a “i’d do the same too if i loved someone and had to marry another person.”
it’s not unusual for you to already be perched on the elegant gold sofa adjacent to the sliding doors that has the best view of the sea. the master bedroom is the other part of the beach house with spectacular view - you’d been entranced when you stepped into the room on your first day. but namjoon suggested you stay in the guest room, knowing there’s no way you would share a bed with him -
“or you can take this room and i take the guest room,” he added a moment later, probably because he saw you staring out the balcony, bewitched by the sea. that had broke you from your trance and you’d shook your head so much in protest, you were surprised it didn’t fall right off your neck. “n-no! i mean - i’ll take the guestroom.”
his parents had been nice enough to lend their private beach house for you honeymoon. you weren’t going to step over their son and conquer the master bedroom - even if technically, you’re now part of the family.
“morning.” he fixes you with that half-smile. the kind of smile you give to someone you’re in an complacent relationship with but nothing more.
at least you’ve got that going for you. and that’s a rarity coming from the gossips you’ve heard here and there about marriages found on the ground of convenience.
his eyes swipe over the ipad in your shorts-donned lap from his spot, leaned against the counter in the kitchen, pitch black mug of coffee with wafts of smoke coming out of it, “how’s your research going?”
“well,” you set the ipad down on the glass surface of the coffee table, it’s bare of anything besides your phone that’s been lighting up from the notifications. one from your mother, another from the group of friends you found in college, and the rest is from your strictly-women group from the hospital, “the world wide web is resourceful and all but it can’t beat the information in actual books - papers, you know?”
“ah, the traditional way of researching.” he chuckles, dimples digging into his cheek, enhancing his handsome features. you never knew he had dimples. not that you knew much about him - you’d only properly talked on the day of your wedding, in the back room and the first thing you said was -
you suppress the memories further down your thoughts. it works for the most part, but you can’t help the flush that spreads across your face. so the laugh you let out is a little strained and if he notices, he doesn’t show - like he pretends not to notice a plenty many things.
but alas, he knew your secret crush - was it still just a crush you had for yoongi? you’re not sure.
“what can i say? i’m raised traditional.”
x
that was two weeks ago. now, you’re back to working your ass off at the hospital, being grilled to the bones by your supervisor, getting reprimanded over being one minute late and then being told to run to the cafe five minutes from the hospital to buy your supervisors their favorite strawberry smoothie topped with sprinkles.
“kim seokjin, that dickwad.” jennie huffs, her cat-like eyes making it appear as though she’s plotting the man’s death. “he’s working you to the bones as soon as you get back.”
“he probably thinks i’m not that serious about my residency since my family has enough fortune to sustain me for my whole lifetime,” you can only laugh at that, her anger has sucked all the tiredness and annoyance you have for your supervisor right out of you. it feels refreshing, “all the more reason to prove him wrong.”
“enough about that asshole,” jisoo waves a dismissive hand off and you know what’s coming is far more terrifying: she blinks, eyes filled with stars and cherry red lips curling into the kind of smile that can only mean one thing, “how was it? the second son of kimcorp. were there rose petals on bed? candles lit around the house? a romantic, sizzling-”
“sorry, jisoo, i gotta go get ready for the dinner. i’ll buy you lunch tomorrow, okay?” you clasp your hands together apologetically when your phone buzzes with the reminder you set a week prior: 8am annual kimcorp dinner.
you breathe a sigh of relief as you shake off your white coat, draping it over your recliner before escaping to the washroom with a bag of makeup and the dust-proof cover bag of the outfit you’re wearing for tonight. by the time you’re touching up on your nude lipstick, your phone buzzes again but this time, the screen lights up with namjoon’s name on it.
“hey,” his voice is deeper through the phone - it’s the first time he calls you. there was never any reason for you to call each other but you suppose, he’s calling to make sure you’re not forgetting the dinner -
“i’m in front of the hospital.”
or maybe not.
“wh-what do you mean?” your cheeks heat up from the thought of namjoon waiting for you in his audi. the image, too domestic for your liking.
“well, you can’t drive so i thought i’d pick you up.” he says it like its the simplest equation to understand.
“namjoon,” the name feels foreign on your tongue regardless of how many times you taste it when you need to tell him something - to set the line straight, “i didn’t know you were gonna pick me up so i already told kyungsoo to pick me up. he’s probably already here. sorry i didn’t tell you sooner.”
“i know,” he says simply.
“e-excuse me?” while you’re beyond confused.
“i told your parents i’d pick you up so kyungsoo’s driving them to the dinner.”
“oh.”
wait. what?! 
x
namjoon is confident in his driving skills - as he is with everything he does. he’s almost perfect. the line of his shoulders seem at ease as he stirs the wheel with one hand and the other rests on the gear, inches away from your scarlet clad thighs.
“why isn’t hoseok driving you?” the aforementioned man sticks to him like glue. everywhere namjoon goes, he goes. it’s a given since he’s the head secretary but anyone who’s seen them interact could tell there’s more than boss-employee relationship between them. they seem like close friends which is unlikely be given namjoon’s too-serious nature and hoseok’s joke-cracking every five minutes - but not impossible.
his face remains the same as he keeps his eyes on the road, humming briefly, “he had a thing.”
“can secretaries have a thing and leave their boss to drive for himself like that?” that doesn’t sound right. you may not be actively involved in fecam industries’ affairs but mr. jung, your dad’s secretary, spends more time with your dad than the two men do with their wives - that’s how demanding the business world is. but could hoseok get a free pass because of his and namjoon’s friendship?
namjoon chuckles, dimples and all and you can’t help but blush at the side profile. if anything, he has a sharp jawline and beautiful neck-
you push the thought as soon as it comes. neck? who finds necks beautiful?
“he had a date but it’s not until a couple hours,” the tone he uses is light and playful but underlined with a sort of bashfulness that you don’t know kim namjoon was capable of, “i told him to go home because i wanted to pick you up myself.”
your cheeks heat up all over again as you stare at him a little too long. so much so, the hand that’s been comfortably perched on the gear goes to the back of his neck in an unsure manner.
“i just needed to talk to you about something.” he explains, just as awkward as he was in the back room at the church.
“okay.” eyes turned to the road too, you can see namjoon breathing a sigh of relief from your periphery. that couldn’t have been because of you could it? was he nervous because you were watching him? “what did you want to talk about?”
he clears his throat, that natural ease in his tone returning, “if it gets uncomfortable - if anyone asks, we met because you were yoongi’s fiancee and we couldn’t help but fall in love. but you wanted to intern at a hospital in paris so that’s why we’ve only gotten married now.”
you take awhile to digest the information until something in your stomach doesn’t sit right with you, “you want me to... lie?”
his bottom lip gets trapped between his teeth just for the briefest moment as he thinks about it. he probably didn’t expect you to disagree but he admits his mistake faster than half the people you know your whole life would, “i’m sorry, i didn’t think it would weight on your conscience. i was thought it’d be hard on you if some ass- someone’s going to start a rumor about you but i didn’t ask how you’d feel about it.”
“i see.” you simply nod. it’s true that you’re the pass-up fiancee who got between two people who fell in love in college but the other is the son of a renown family and engaged while the other is an arts major from a normal working family. unable to let bygones be bygones, you decide to marry the younger brother to your fiance - or so the story goes. “but they already know i was yoongi’s fiancee and i ended up marrying you. i don’t need - no, i don’t want to explain myself to anyone.”
despite that big talk, your can feel the prickle of tears in your eyes. namjoon steals a glance at you and he never mentions the glassiness of your gaze - if anything, he smiles. it’s different than the usual smiles. this one, though wordless, says he’s following your flow. do what you like and if and when things get though, you can count on me.
x
dinner has yet started when you arrived. guests are still arriving and waiters and waitresses are carrying trays of champagne glasses around. in a distance, your friends wave at you to come over. you smile, hand falling away from namjoon’s since you needed to at least do that in front of the paparazzo that were waiting outside. eager, hungry for gossip about the wedding that shook south korea’s business world.
“girl, you are glowing.”  yerin literally screams. it’s a secret to no one that she’s hinting on your recent marriage and private island getaway. but nothing happened.
“how are you girls? it’s been so long.” you side hug eunha, letting her arms wrap around your waist as you stand huddled together.
you haven’t seen them since you got back from paris. the wedding was attended by thousands of people - all of whom, your and namjoon’s family’s associates. but you had your hands full shaking hands and smiling next to your husband because these people matter to namjoon. or at least he has an interest over them. business deals. merges. trades. kimcorps carries out every kinds of business they can get their hands on. namjoon passingly mentioned about the work-in-progress for a private hospital.
you dread the likelihood of having to leave the hospital you’re working in right now for family-run one but you know it’s quite impossible to not get involved when you, yourself is a doctor.
“we weren’t the ones who went under the radar and came back and got married to the second son of kimcorp.” yuju huffs sulkily, cheeks pinked from the champagne she’s had but she isn’t that far gone when she clamps her mouth shut a second later, eyebrows furrowing in guilt.
sowon nudges her side anyway, mouthing her something as your gaze falls on the light caught in your black gucci heels.
“i-i’m sorry, ___ that didn’t come out right.” comes a heartbeat later, she sounds just as sorry as her words as you offer her a small smile. 
“it’s okay, it’s the truth anyway.”
“stop that,” eunha suddenly gripes, her gaze boring into you and rips apart the barrier you’ve tried so hard to maintain, “we’ve been friends since elementary school, we know how whipped you are for that asshole so-” she sniffles while you’re left wondering if it’s her who had an ex-fiance break if off and had his parents relay the news on a bi-weekly dinner. 
“she’s trying to say you can cry or get mad or curse that dipshit around us. don’t hold back.” sowon finishes, lips twitching as she enjoys watching the vulnerable state of the otherwise fiercest one among you.
something in your chest feels light. like a weight being lifted off your shoulders as you study the girl’s face one by one. sowon’s and yerin’s smirk, yuju’s nodding and eunha’s teary eyes. 
“yoongi, he’s-” you take a deep breath and it feels almost dramatic as the second stretches on while you build up the hurt, the anxiousness, the disbelief that the man put you through, “-a fucking idiot.”
“you bet he is,” yerin’s basically screams, swiping a glass for you and holding hers up, “that fucking idiot.”
you tighten your side hug on eunha in an ‘i’m okay’ gesture as you clink your glasses together.
it’s a few moments later that murmurs start to spread around. the tension that comes with the latest arrived guest thick enough to command every attention in the room.
“she’s ballsy. coming here.” sowon offhandedly comments, eyes trained on the girl who has her hand on yoongi’s arm like an iron clamp. “right into the lion’s den.”
she may not have her parents’ money to groom her into the women you and the girls are. but maybe that’s why she has her own air. her poised steps, coupled with a cocktail creme laced dress and relaxed smile easily gives her an innocent cloak. someone friendly and good-tempered and can adjust well to her suddenly-plunged-into-money circumstance when she married yoongi. that must have been why you never heard any bad rumors about her even though there’s almost always at least one gossip enthusiast in these socials.
“ugh, i hate her!” yuju hisses, eyes more focused as she places her glass onto one of the waiter’s trays.
“i-i think i’m going to get myself some snacks.” with that, you slip past the guests until you’re at the end of the room, standing in front of the everything-you-can-eat table lined up with pastries only from the best bakes.
that moment, when you looked from her to yoongi, your eyes met. his hair is a little longer than you remember it, flowing in light blue tresses until just a few centimeters above his eyebrows. the first two buttons of his shirt is undone. her doesn’t wear a necktie - he despises how suffocating they feel. but he’s managed to keep on his blazer - he used to say they were hot and took them off and left them in the back seat of the car when you arrived at an event. he used to attend these events with you. just the two of you. for four years. you thought you’d keep doing so for longer after you got married.
“you know, they’re not plastic and made for display.” a voice breaks you from your train of thoughts.
“p-pardon?” you blink once. confused.
“the pastries,” namjoon lulls his head to the side where towers of tarts, macaroons, pavlova and sliced cakes stand tall and proud, “they’re edible.”
it takes a moment for you to register that he was joking - kim namjoon? cracking jokes?
his smile tilts higher when you chuckle. it’s brief but the look of relief oh his face lingers. he must have seen you escape from your group of friends. and this is his own way of checking up on you.
“thank you, namjoon.” you murmur low enough for only you and him to hear, lips tugging in the corners. “but i’m fine - i just - seeing him for the first time like this - it’s just unexpected. even though this is an annual dinner held by his family and he has every right to be here.”
“that’s her? the ex-fiancee?” a guest asks in a hushed tone somewhere a few feet away. but she’s not very discreet as she thinks she is.
“yeah, she couldn’t get the older brother so she went for the younger one.”
apparently, her company needs to attend classes on how-to-whisper-101 too.
“how mortifying. and the brother just goes with it?”
“he must have felt compelled to save her face. you know how nice and well-mannered he is-”
the low noise namjoon makes under his breath catches your attention. the muscles on his face is strained and twisted. it barely shows. just a crease between his eyebrows and the lack of smile. he hardly ever smiles from the tabloids and interviews you’ve seen of him so people might not notice the displeasure. but after a whole month of knowing namjoon, if there’s anything you can say for certain about the man, it’s the stockpile of smiles he has to offer.
“namjoon, it’s okay. i don’t care.” you smile, it’s forced and you know he notices it right off the bat but sighs anyway, shoulder line falling just slightly as he runs a hand over his sleek styled hair.
his lips move and you hear the words he uttered but somehow your mind couldn’t comprehend the information without going blank. “s-sorry?”
“it agitates me that they’re freely spewing bullshit like this,” he huffs, cheeks tinted pink at having to repeat his words. “it’s taking everything in me not to go over there and tell them their husbands have at least one business deal with kimcorp. and i can end it and it’d plunge their family into bankruptcy.”
“wh-why would you do such a thing?” the question comes out almost dumbly but if it did, he doesn’t say. he just... keeps looking at you.
you’re barely able hold yourself from squirming under his scrutiny, the smile now awkward in all places.
“if you don’t mind, can i kiss you?” his eyes widen just the slightest bit as he corrects himself, “on the forehead i mean.”
he clears his throat, eyes straying away from you as if he couldn’t bear to look at your face after that mistake. “just so i can prove to them i wasn’t forced to marry you.”
the light pinkish blush spreads to the tip of his ears and neck as he shifts his weight from one foot to another. you’re not sure why, but the sight in front of you is endearing and you find yourself saying-
“okay, kiss me.”
you didn’t specify where. and maybe, as the heat flares across your own cheeks when his arm band around your waist and a warm hand presses up against you cheekbone - maybe you want him to kiss you somewhere else.
the chatter stops and so does time. but it’s only for as long as namjoon’s full lips are on your forehead, kissing you for the second time. then, time resumes and murmurs begin to spread louder than when yoongi made his arrival. when the gravelly voice speaks from somewhere behind namjoon, you know why.
“get a room, will you?” yoongi’s tone is light - you’d taken a whole year getting used to it to know he’s being playful and not condescending.
“yoongi.” namjoon greets, unlike the elder man, his sounds better natured but there’s a sort of underlying detachment. his arm is still on your lower back almost as if he needs to feel that you’re here or he’d be completely detached. “i didn’t think you’d show up. you hate these events.”
the aforementioned man draws out a long sigh as though he’s been found out over a poorly told lie. “i don’t but naeun wanted to go - you know how things are with mom and dad. she thinks it’s gonna make them open up.”
it’s no secret your father and mother-in-law doesn’t talk about yoongi’s marriage - they never do around you but you thought they were being considerate. but what yoongi’s saying right now could mean his relationship with his parents are far more strained than you thought it’d be. especially since they had let him marry the girl of his dreams who’s clearly below their standards.
she - naeun - is standing somewhere near the exit, conversing with the notorious older generation that yerin duped ‘the wickeds’. for their ways of gaining wealth, for their poor treatment towards their employees, for socially shunning a young man - new money, for addressing one of them casually. she is ballsy.
“it’s been awhile,” yoongi’s directly addressing you now. the tug on his lips as playful as an old friend’s greeting. you don’t know how he can look at you like nothing happened. “you’re finally a resident now, huh?”
“yeah, finally.” you smile, the kind of smile that celebrates her triumph. the celebration part is true but the smile is every bit unnatural. but it seems to fool yoongi as he nods, proud.
somewhere in your chest, the strings on your heart clenches at the unchanging personality of this man. no wonder you like him.
before the conversation can tread further down memory lane, there’s an announcement to have the guests move to another room where dinner is being served.
“we’ll get going first then.” namjoon announces, guiding you by the waist as yoongi nods, waiting for naeun to come to his side before going in himself.
x
 dinner went smoother than expected. yoongi and naeun showed up uninvited and were placed in the back seats where the people socially displaced guests are. you felt bad when you saw naeun’s distorted expression as waiters bring in chairs to the table for the both of them. but there’s nothing you could have done.
“you have an 8am shift tomorrow, right?” namjoon asks as you slip your heels off, wincing at when one of them brushes against the blisters. they’re gonna be a bitch to deal with tomorrow.
stretching your arms out as you walk up the stairs, you hum in confirmation. “mhm, and you have dinner with ms. yoo, right?”
it’s ironic how you know each other’s schedule despite not being anything more than two people sharing one house and happens to be married. guess you’ll chalk it up with the fact that you both respect each other enough to be aware of each other’s whereabouts - not the creepy kind of way but the share-me-your-live-location-so-i-know-you’re-safe kind of way.
namjoon was quiet until you take a left to where the guest bedroom-turned-permanent-bedroom is, “it got rescheduled.”
your hand hovers over the door handle as you crane your neck to look at the man on the top of the stairs. his bow tie is loosened, the button to his color undone and his blazer is draped over one arm - a telltale sign of a final end to the night. “i was hoping we could have dinner to together. after work.”
yes but you don’t usually go straight home after work. you usually spend time at the library either at your previous college or at the hospital. you’ve decided to continue your research no matter how taxing it may be since you came back from the honeymoon. namjoon knows and the fact he asks you to dinner anyway - it’s unlike him.
he’s the kind of person that would ask if you had free time and match his schedule to yours. not ask for your time.
“yeah, sure.” you say and you think you see his shoulder line sagging as if he’s just let out a long-held breath, “pick me up at 8?”
“yeah.” he nods, dimples showing as his lips curl at your answer, “at 8.”
only when the door closes behind you, do you let yourself slide down to the ground. heels lying next to your thighs and dress in need of being sent for washing. your cheeks are and neck and ears are hot. dinner? just you and namjoon? like... a date?
x
jisoo isn’t around when lunch rolls by.
“a patient got rolled into er this morning - couldn’t contact any of his family members. suho decided to go ahead with surgery but he reacted badly to the anesthesia so she had to make up for her suho’s mistake and monitor his patient.” jennie’s face scrunches at the other woman’s supervisor pushing the task on her. shoving a forkful of the cheese cake, she sighs as the medical professional side take over, “thank god the surgery went smoothly though despite all that.”
you hum in contemplation, comparing the well-established crazy bitch seokjin who pushes those under his supervision to their limits and suho’s less-than-extreme approach. you used to envy jisoo and jennie for getting suho as their supervisor but at the end of the day, with every push from seokjin, you get out of it stronger and wiser. “i hope she doesn’t forget to have her meals.”
the day ends faster than usual. of course with rounds and surgeries you have to assist with, you’ve always find yourself barely realizing the setting sun - the sign of that your shift has ended.
but you could have sworn it was 5pm when you last checked the time. an car crash patient had arrived at the er and you forgot you’d left your phone on your desk, running out to assist the critical patient. it’s only when you’ve plopped into your recliner, head thrown back in fatigue, do you notice the vibration of your phone.
namjoon’s name flashes across your screen. your eyes almost bulges out of their sockets as you swipe to the right.
the deep voice from the other end is as calm as ever, “hey, ___-”
“namjoon!” you almost scream with guilt, phone pressed between your cheek and your shoulder as you shrug the coat off one shoulder before using the free now free hand to hold the phone and shrug off the other shoulder, “where are you?”
“i’m at the parking lot. i couldn’t wait at the lobby because i was obstructing the other cars - i called you a few times.” he sounds almost concerned and your heart clenches tightly in you chest at the thought of him waiting for you for over an hour.
you burst onto the parking lot - searching for the sleek black audi until a red bugatti rolls over. you’re about to take a step back seeing as you’re almost standing in the middle of the road - when the driver on the other side of the car steps out. his usually gelled hair is mussed from the amount of times he ran his hand over it, cuffs rolled to just below his elbow, revealing the dark veins that run just below the skin on his arm. 
namjoon fixes you with that eased smile, going around the gently purring vehicle and opening the door to the passenger seat for you. the arm which hand he uses to hold the door open pulls on the thin fabric of his button down in all the right places. so this is a the normal end-of-the-day look.
you always get back a bit later than him and by the time he looks up from his work that’s laid out over the coffee table, he would usually already have bathed and changed into one of those long-sleeved shirts.
x
the restaurant he initially booked for dinner had cancelled. naturally. so you end up in a barbecue place five minutes away from the hospital. this is where you and your colleagues go when to celebrate a birthday, promotion or finally-having-a-boyfriend/girlfriend.
the slices of meat sizzles on the grill, its marinated aroma wafting in the air. but your stomach churns with a different kind of sensation - guilt. “i-i’m sorry. because of me you had to wait an hour and got cancelled by the restaurant.”
then, he chuckles. it’s the same kind of good natured chuckle that reverberates every time you say something amusing - but you can’t see how any of this is.
his says your name. the syllabus rolls out of his tongue in waves but you chalk up the blush spreading on your face with the heat of the grill so close to you. he leans back against the backrest, sleeves filled out to the brim as he crosses his arms over his chest. “you were the one saving a life. all i did was wait.”
“y-yeah but still.” no emergency is foreseeable, otherwise you could have saved more lives than you do now. and it’s still not enough. “i forgot about you.”
namjoon nods, taking your words into consideration - as if he never thought about it that way. as if he truly doesn’t mind wasting his time over some woman he has to tolerate because he’s married to her. “cook me dinner then.”
“wh-what?”
“i don’t want you to beat yourself up and i know whatever i say is going to come off as me being nice.” the corners in his lips tugs upwards, “so make it to me by cooking dinner.”
once your brain is done registering what he said, you clutch your hands in your lap as though you’re clinging onto this one time chance to make up for your fault, “yes! i-i mean yeah, sounds fair.”
the smooth sound of his chuckle isn’t lost to the sizzle of the meat. to him, it must be a small matter but to you, it’s a matter of pride.
“this saturday then?” you offer, a bit too eager.
almost as if remembering something, he releases a long drawn out sigh, “business trip to tokyo.”
“next weekend?”
“mom’s home sweeter home fundraiser for the orphans on saturday. sunday?”
“night shift. how bout breakfast?”
“golf with seollyu’s director.”
a heavy pause lapses in the room. after a moment, namjoon reaches for the chopsticks, flipping the slices of meat over.
your shoulders sag, lips pursed in a pout. this isn’t an unusual occurrence in your years of being the daughter of your family. your father is devoutly involved in the family business and your mother is busy with her charity work. you’ve celebrated birthdays with the staff more than you do with them.
the glint of the chopstick that’s placing a piece of meat on your plate catches your eyes. you study the long nimble fingers to the vein that runs from the back of its hand and disappear somewhere below his arm before you gulp, meeting his eyes - did he notice you checking out his arm?
“we’ll figure something out.” if he did, he doesn’t say as he fixes you with an assuring smile, “but right now you need to get some food in you. eat up dr. ___. you did great today at work.”
this time, you really can’t blame the grill for the blush.
x
“you could’ve told mom you couldn’t do brunch.” namjoon tells you in the elevator to the 15th floor of your in-laws’ house. it’s been three days since that night. he’s left for work but prior to this morning, he’d already made it clear that it was no problem at all picking you up from home.
he’s probably saying this because of the lack of makeup you’d put on. some pats of compact powder and bright red lipstick can’t hide the bags underneath those tired eyes. you’d spend extra hours reading about the defective genes and the fix to remodel them so every child born from parents from a history of relatives with inheritable diseases could live a life without the risk of said disease.
“i’m fine.” you wave a dismissive hand before stretching in the compact space in a last ditch attempt to wake yourself up and hopefully look fresher by the time you reach the floor. “’sides, i’ve been so focused on work, it’s nice to see mom and dad every once in awhile.”
you’ve gotten used to referring to mr. and mrs. kim as if they’re your own parents - in a way, they are. you’ve known them for as long as you can remember.
“you have to be at the hospital by noon, right?”
you hum in confirmation. though you insisted on grabbing a cab to the hospital since it’s on the opposite side of the office, namjoon had insisted better. “mhm, oh we’re here.”
a ding! echoes throughout the elevator when it stops, doors opening to a hallway with black and yellow walls and ceiling, paired with honey marble flooring. it takes a few seconds before the black door at the end of the hallway to swing open but instead of the warm smile of the elderly lady, a bring and vibrant naeun beams at the both of you.
“you’re here. come in.” she steps aside, the hem of her sundress fluttering as she moves.
your body tenses at the proximity of the woman who you thought you could avoid until a much later time. and from the barely noticeable lifted brows that namjoon does, you know he wasn’t expecting his sister-in-law too. if she’s here, so is yoongi.
“we picked these up on the way.” you hand her the paris baguette paper bag. you’d ordered a mix of fruit tarts, cinnamon rolls and macaroon. all of which you remember mrs. kim mentioning to be her favorites. 
“oh! you shouldn’t have but thank you.” up close, naeun is much more prettier with a natural pinkish tint across her cheeks that makes her seem dreamy and glossed cheery lips that complements the gentle air she carries around. she passes the bag to one of the staff that’ll probably unbox them and plate them.
you offer her a smile - though a bit strained. and she must have noticed when she sighs softly, eyes darting to her fuchsia flats before looking back up at you with a furrowed brows. but even when she’s frowning, she’s pretty.
“i’ve been wanting to meet you and properly apologize for not being able to attend the wedding - i had an exhibition that day in prague and yoongi wouldn’t let me go by myself even though i thought at least one of us should go to his brother’s wedding.” she chuckles at the last part as if replaying the heartwarming scene of her protective husband choosing his wife over his family. you can feel every fiber of your body coiling and writhing - it takes everything for you not to leave through the door. would yoongi have done the same for you?
“this must be awkward for you, isn’t it?” her lips tug into a half-smile - a telltale that she’s equally uncomfortable to talk about this topic. “with you and yoongi being engaged before but now i’m the one married to him. but i hope we can put everything past us and be a family.”
but something in the way she talks - it’s as if she sympathizes. as if she’s saying it’s okay, you shouldn’t feel ashamed. but what are you supposed to be shameful of? of being engaged to yoongi before? of marrying his brother when said engagement fell through? perhaps you should have gave mrs. kim a hard ‘no’ when she pleaded with teary eyes for you and your parents’ forgiveness when she and mr. kim had to break the news over dinner two years ago. so you wouldn’t have to develop a hard skin and pretend you didn’t care about the ruthless rumors that have spread far and wide after your marriage to namjoon. 
“oh? yeah, it was a long time ago.” you offhandedly say - it’s that moment, when her eyes twitches just the slightest bit that you realize it wasn’t all just in your head. she did mean to make you feel embarrassed when she started mentioning the engagement.
you join namjoon and mrs. kim at the garden while naeun follows suit a second later, taking the middle among the three seats. the elder woman’s eyes light up at the sight of you, her heels clacking against the wooden flooring as she crosses the distance and engulfs you in a hug. you hug back, smiling at the woman’s motherly warmth.
“___, my favorite daughter, what happened to you?” she cups your cheeks, brows furrowing as she seem to examine your complexion.
you should’ve used concealer. 
“the hospital is working you to the bone isn’t it? why, it’s been awhile since i had lunch with chairman lee, maybe i should give his wife a call.”
that’s how it works when you have connections. if someone’s daughter or son fails to get into college or a job through regular exams or interviews, a dinner or lunch with the director of the institution will get the child admitted overnight. that’s probably why seokjin was harder on you than usual when you got back from your honeymoon - he must think you’re not serious about being a doctor. it’s not a secret he came from old money but he’d cut off all ties with his family when he started working. he has more ethics than half of the people you know.
“___ doesn’t like it when you do these things, mom.” yoongi grumbles - always the painfully honest one. the chair screeches as he pulls it and plops between naeun and namjoon while their father occupies the seat next to mrs. kim. it looks like they just came from mr. kim’s home office. and judging from the stiffness of their posture, the talk must have been a serious one.
namjoon’s shoulder line tightens just the slightest bit - you almost thought it was just a figment of your imagination but when you steal a glance at his face, you know he’s not too keen in having yoongi sit next to him. so you weren’t imagining it when he seemed like he was escaping yoongi by not waiting for naeun to come and walk with you to into the dining hall.
you’re not lost to yoongi’s familiar tone when he spoke on your behalf. but you’re not happy either. forcing a laugh, you push a strand to the back of your ear for the sake of doing something, “i-it’s not the hospital. i’ve been staying up late to work a bit on my research.”
a worker comes with the baked goods you brought. they’re plated on perfectly polished ceramic - you can easily see your forced smile in its reflection when the woman sets them down the table in front of you. 
“research?” yoongi lifts one eyebrow at you. too casually. and it takes you back to those times when you used to visit him at his college’s library and you’d bring your homework with you whilst you slip in a few ‘what i did’s as he typed away on his mac but still managed to keep up with you and asked questions here and there. a sign that he’d been present and listening.
“___’s been working on researching how segregate defective genes during the fetal stage so the fetus won’t take on their parents’ inherent diseases when they’re born.” namjoon explains the simplified version almost as though it’s part of his day-to-day line of work. he grins at you, the corners of his lips tugging with pride - a gratification of being able to show you off.
“that’s good. you’re making a difference in this world.” mr. kim is the first to break the silence. and in the years you’ve known him, it means the highest level of flattery you’ll ever get from the man.
your cheeks are flushed red and you know well enough it’s not because of mr. kim’s compliment than it is his son’s. “it’s still just a research draft but th-thank you. mister-” the elder man raises his brow and you quickly correct yourself, “i mean, dad.” 
he nods at the word, the slightest hint of smile disappearing under the cup of tea he brings to his mouth.
“but still, don’t push yourself too hard. working as a doctor takes up a lot of time already.” naeun fixes you with a worried gaze but something about her tone makes your stomach churn - it’s as if she’s playing down the time and effort you’d invested in your research and reminding you to focus on your paying job. even if you did downplay yourself when you were responding to mr. kim. before you can sort out the wave of emotions clashing inside you, namjoon seems to beat you to it.
“not everyone can do what ___’s doing. it’s okay if she wants to do more,” a hand slips under yours in your lap, reverting your gaze from the beautiful woman to the apparent difference in the size of yours and namjoon before you turn your cheek to him. it was a mistake because now you’re holding your breath as you come face to face. his body is leaned into you as he speaks, “i’ll just take care of ___ better.”
he turns to naeun, lips twitching upwards in a brief smile as if to enforce it more and putting a finality to the topic. but you’re left staring at namjoon’s sharp jawline until mrs. kim makes a squealing sound as she clamps her mouth shut in an attempt to tease you.
“gosh, is my baby all grown up now? he’s saying he’ll take care of his wife!”
the chuckle you let out is nowhere near natural or entertained. not when your insides are burning and you think your heart is going into overdrive from how fast it’s beating. and it doesn’t help that namjoon’s too casually playing along “of course, i only have one wife.”
x
“namjoon,” you take a second to gather yourself, hands fiddling in your lap as the car rolls to a stop in front of the lobby. the man fixes you with an inquisitive gaze. of course, who wouldn’t be wondering what’s up if their name was spoken with so much weight in them like you did with namjoon’s? “what was that? the wife thing?”
he stares into the street as he sifts through his memory before he fixes you with a gaze clouded with guilt, “i’m sorry. i got carried away - it won’t happen again.”
and that’s the thing. namjoon is too fast in admitting his fault. but you didn’t bring it up because you wanted an apology-
“no, i don’t mind.” you shake your head almost too eagerly before back tracking and clearing your throat, “i mean, it’s true. we’re married - i am your wife.”
the corners of his lips upturns at your last words and he doesn’t bother to hide it as he waits for you to finish - but how can you when he’s looking at you so tenderly like that?
“it’s just - too soon?” you curse yourself for sounding so meek but any louder, your heart might just jump out of your throat.
namjoon nods, that contemplative look settling on his face and takes away that smile only to return it with a dimpled grin. one hand slides in between yours and guiding the back of your hand to his lips.
“we’ll take it slow then.”
you can only nod, afraid that if you tried to speak, you would forget how to. the light rap on your side of the window catches both your attention. it’s the parking management. stealing a glance at the cars that are beginning to queue up behind you, you hurriedly gather your bag and hop out of the car.
cheeks flushed, you barely register waving back at namjoon when he leans over the passenger seat just to shoot you that dimpled smile and a ‘see you at home’.
you turn on your heels. the sharp click bounces against the white walls. a small smile spreads across your lips as you think about namjoon’s words.
yeah, the penthouse does feel like home.
x
this isn’t slow at all. you’re barely progressing.
it feels like everyday is passing by too fast what with the abundance of functions you’ve told namjoon you wanted to go with when you’re not working, to cramming some time for research and trying to find the time to at least make breakfast when you’re not on morning shift. though on some mornings, he’d beat you to breakfast and you’d wake up to the delectable smell of omelette or bacon.
“you must be thrilled about the new hospital, mrs. kim,” mrs. hwan is generally an agreeable woman along with her husband, the president of a small startup firm. they’re the first couple to approach you and namjoon since you arrived at the party. but that’s just it - the smiling, the talking, the eagerness doesn’t show in their eyes. it’s all about building connections while maintaining a good enough acquaintanceship. “are you going to be managing it directly since you’re a doctor yourself?”
“naturally,” the tug on your lips and the smoothness of your response is almost effortless. you’re no stranger to this scene - except back then, you would be standing next to yoongi. though your hand wouldn’t be tucked in his arm like yours is with namjoon. “though i still have a lot to learn, i hope the next two years will help me prepare to for eden.”
two years is the estimated time that eden hospital will be able to run. you’d finish your residency by then. all that’s left is to take the next step. just like your parents had planned for you as they’d planned many things. you never had the power to object.
mrs. hwan goes on to sprinkling empty praises while her husband laughs in deflated humor. they say the way to a successful business deal is through the wife.
once namjoon gets swamped by more people, you gently pull your hand away from his arm. you don’t miss the pleading look he fixes you when he notices your intention but you can only return a ‘you can do it!’ smile and slip away from the limelight.
the balcony area is dark, illuminated only by the fading light the pours over the floor past the door frame. you don’t expect the air to be this chilly at the beginning of summer but then again, namjoon did suggest bringing a coat - you were just too stubborn to because it would ruin the off shoulder look of your dress.
a sneeze escapes you a moment later as you hug yourself in an attempt to retain your body heat. but the warmth that engulfs you seems impossible to have come from just your puny palms - heck, your fingers were starting to feel prickly cold. there’s a sort of weight on your shoulders that wasn’t there before-
“idiot, you’re gonna catch a cold.” yoongi tuts from next to you - he has his hands in his pockets, all donned in crisp white shirt and checkered grey trousers and vest. all that’s missing is a matching blazer - the one that he placed around you just now.
somewhere in the recesses of your memories, you remember him taking off the muffler he had on and wrapping it around your neck when you showed up for your ‘christmas date’ with a pink nose and pinker ears - you could barely feel them. yoongi was that kind of person - the kind that acted like everything is a whole load of inconvenience and yet went to greater length to inconvenient himself for you.
“thanks. i thought i was going to freeze to death if i have to hide out here for another hour.” you tug the thick material of the blazer closer - the warmth of his heat feels just right.
“then you shouldn’t have come in the first place.” he must have noticed the higher-than-an-octave tone he uses before ruffling his hair - it’s the first you’ve ever seen him so unsure. is it really because of you?
“it’s fine. besides, what kind of wife would i be if i let namjoon get eaten by the pack of wolves by himself?” you chuckle at the fact that you’d done just that when you escaped the growing crowd of businessmen.
but when you notice the lack of humor on yoongi’s face, your own dies down. he’s staring at you with an indecipherable look. it’s not the bored expression he usually sports - not also the anger from the outburst just now. before you can say anything, namjoon’s lean silhouette appears in the doorway. you can’t see his face but his tone is strained. “we’re leaving, if you’re both done catching up.”
“so soon?” you know for a fact it probably hasn’t even been fifteen minutes - and you’re supposed to linger for at least two hours before leaving. that’d be enough time for namjoon to scout any potential business associate - the worthy ones at least.
“hey little bro.” yoongi waves, the disinterested look now returning but the way he phrases his next words oozes with revulsion. it’s no surprise. while yoongi hates these events - he’s probably here because of naeun, you heard the director of seoul’s annual art exhibition is here - namjoon strives off it. garnering attention and making the best of it by bringing in stockholders. “had enough of ass licking?”
you never understand the tangibility of the tension that feels the air when these two brothers are in the same room together - they’re barely able to remain civil in the presence of mr. and mrs. kim. anywhere without their parents’ watchful eyes, a fight would always be at risk of breaking out. whenever you were around, you’d be the one to interfere, whether it’s to tug on yoongi’s sleeve and tell him you’re hungry, or step in front of him just so he’d remember you’re here or right now-
“thank you, yoongi.” folding the blazer in half, you hand it back to the man - only that he’s not taking it back. momentarily, you wonder if you’d stained it with your lipstick or foundation but the lapels never touched anywhere above your neck. but deep in the crook of your conscience, you know it’s when his mind retracts back to you, to the present.
the sigh that escapes yoongi is a telltale of fatigue - you wonder if this is the first time of the day he came out of his studio. taking the blazer from your outstretched hand, he slings it over his shoulder, “don’t get too caught up with these functions. focus on your goal.”
your goal meaning what comes next in your career: the fellowship. you thought that information was lost on him, buried among the many things you told him just because you were comfortable telling him everything. 
and as you watch him walk back into the lion’s den, you wonder, how didn’t you realize he was in love with someone else during the visits you paid while he was doing his masters and phd?
x
namjoon doesn’t say anything about yoongi in the car. but both his hands are on the wheel. knuckles a little paler from holding onto the wheel.
“you don’t have to be part of eden’s board of directors.” he huffs, as though annoyed but from the way he continues, you know he’s not annoyed at you. he’s annoyed at himself. “you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to - i don’t want to force anything on you.”
and you know - you know more than anyone how conscious namjoon is of things. from the change in your mood to the people that tries to get close to him because of his status - that’s also why he didn’t kiss you on your lips that day. but a kiss was the prerequisite of a vow so he kissed you on the forehead. the area where his lips landed burns your skin as your cheeks flush from the memory.
“i know.” you hesitate for a heartbeat but reach out to cover one of his hands on the wheel still. to let him know that you’re not just saying that to ease the guilt.
when you pull away from the thought of how risky and distracting what you did was, the hand that you were lightly caressing pulls at yours, intertwining your fingers as he keeps them on his thigh. your entire body burns from the contact yet you’re sitting frozen in your spot. it’s the gentle squeeze on your hand that brings you out of your shell-shock state. a smile tugs on your lips subconsciously as you squeeze back.
x
the following week, you almost got into a fight with namjoon when he caught you dressing up prettily. he told you it was okay not to attend these functions anymore - the ones your tight schedule barely allow you to. fight was an overstatement. your feelings were hurt when he’d kissed your temple and said, “it’s okay, you don’t have to push yourself.”
well, you were but he wasn’t seeing the bigger picture. “can’t you see? i wanna spend more time with you and the only way i can is if we attend these functions together.”
in hindsight, you probably shouldn’t have thrown your strapless black diamond purse at him out of frustration.
but the following functions, you did spend more time together. he’d declined the usual advancement of business people the way only kim namjoon could pull off - with a dimpled smile and a hand around your waist as if to indicate that they were interrupting - and they were. they’d come up to the both of you while you were telling namjoon about a new skillet spaghetti recipe you’d wanted to try making for the long overdue dinner you owe him. and you’d expected someone to approach namjoon and take his attention away but you didn’t think he’d decline them.
“hm? i don’t think we have tomatoes or beef. should we go grocery shopping?” he suggests calmly as though he didn’t just turn down the chairman of tvn broadcast. the man had to do a double take in case he had mistaken namjoon’s smooth rejection.
you place a hand on his chest, restraining the urge to pull your hand away as if you’ve touched fire. you knew he goes to the gym for an hour after work and his shirts always seem a size too small around his arms but you didn’t expect anything beyond that underneath that shirt of his. you clear your throat when you realize his neck is craned so he could look at you - give you all the attention in the world, “you know, we can discuss dinner some other time - when you’re free.”
but neither of you are free. you barely see each other at home because of your unpredictable schedule and his that’s set in stone.
“then what would you rather us talk about right now?” a corner of his lips tugs upwards. if you first met him, you wouldn’t easily dismiss the smile as nothing more than because of his amiable nature. but you’ve been married for almost five months now and you clearly pick up on the playfulness that lights up his eyes.
“the desserts.” you announce too quickly in an attempt to avert his attention from what he’s thinking - one thing you’ve realized is that namjoon is painfully aware of your blushing fits and your avoidance to look him in the eyes. “they’re nice, aren’t they?”
all of a sudden, he’s scooping a forkful of the chocolate souffle he’d picked up from the desserts section while you’d opted for the luscious almond torte. a small smirk tugs on his lips as he holds the fork to your mouth the way he does during breakfast. he knows you have no objections of being fed like a child but he also knows where you stand with public display of affection.
“say ‘aaaaa’ and i’ll give you a treat, doctor ___.” and he loves to tease you. he’s taken to calling you that because of that one incident where he’d seen you discuss about a patient with one of the nurses while you were on your way to meet him. in his own words, he’d ‘never seen you this scary before.’
in your defense, it was five minutes till lunch break so it was still working hours and you were acting the way you usually did at work - but you’d understand. the person you are with friends and the person you are at work are two separate entities. suppose you’ve mastered separating personal business and work. namjoon seems to take pleasure in making that steadfast side of you squirm and blush like a tomato.
your fingerpads gently grazes the back of his hand as you hold the fork in place before taking it in your mouth. your eyes flit over namjoon’s for the briefest moment before taking a step back, licking the residue of souffle off your lips.
“they really are nice.” you murmur as you throw your gaze at the stage where a man sits at the piano before flickering back to namjoon.
you wonder why he’s so quiet all of a sudden -
the man in question still has the empty fork in the air, eyes wide and staring at you, you would’ve thought he’d seen a ghost. until you notice the dust of pink across his cheek and spread to the tip of his ears.
oh?
x
mrs. kim’s fundraiser is held at the school where the children attended. about four canopies were set up on the field. one for the children’s activities - you remember reading something about coloring, origami-making and storybook reading.  the volunteers - possibly college students hoping to earn the graces of kimcorp’s president’s wife for an internship - already have the children huddled up in groups of three or four.
one canopy is specifically set up for a table of wide range of food - if there’s anything you like about these functions, it’s the abundance of food they never fail to prepare. as if spending a lot of money on a fundraising event is something to flex about.
the other two canopies are for the people of interest - acquaintances of mrs. kim and those who come with an ulterior motive be it to get sponsors for their own project, a business deal or simply to regain a higher social hierarchy by falling into your mother-in-law’s graces.
you press a light kiss on namjoon’s cheek before he’s whisked away by the second category. business men who jump at the sight of your ceo husband who got a fair warning from mrs. kim to “play nice. what’s gotten into you all of a sudden? these days i keep hearing things about you turning chairmen down! your father didn’t work this hard just to raise a stuck up son that could ruin his business in a matter of days.”
once you’ve had a slice of red velvet and tiny macaroons, you decide to hide yourself from the few people who try to do the same to you when namjoon is too preoccupied by the ones who claimed his attention first. just like preys on the top of the pyramid sinking its claws, the lower level preys couldn’t come close.
but one manages to follow you into one of the classrooms.
“nothing’s changed has it?’ yoongi stands in the doorway, tuxedo and brown loafers and all. hands tucked into both his pockets, he strides across the room and stops in front of the window that overlooks the light pink canopies and the people underneath them. “same old assholes using a charitable cause to proliferate their influence.”
the muscles on your face pulls your lips into a disapproving frown, “that’s how our parents manage to give us an education. a good life.” you don’t agree to the way they go about it but you give credit where it’s due.
yoongi scoffs, his shoulders jolting slightly. you can’t see his face as he stands with his back on you but you know he’s smirking that condescending smirk. the first time you saw it was when you were in your senior year of high school and yoongi was doing his masters in business and accounting. he’d looked down on the man who approached the two of you like he was scum just because everyone knew his company was wallowing in debt and he’s desperate enough to ask the lion who hates the jungle for help.
“always finding a middle ground. if you like what they do so much, why did you become a doctor? why didn’t you follow their footsteps, huh?”
you can’t help but let out a tired sigh. you’ve been here before. you’ve seen this. yoongi hates the world he’s born in and you understand why but you can never feel what he feels. “why are you here, yoongi? shouldn’t you be with naeun?” there’s a pause. a heartbeat before you decide to let yourself free. say what you want to say. “before the wolves get to her.”
“she’s fine.” it's almost offensive how haughty he sounds. he must either be aware of nauen’s innocence that makes the wolves eliminate the possibility of her being a threat or he just doesn’t care. the latter presumption makes your stomach churn.
did he also not care about you when you were together? when you went to these events as a couple?
“we should head back. it would be bad if anyone saw us alone like this even though we’re just talking.” and that’s that. you turn on your heels, making way to the door but before you can even take another step forward, lithe fingers wrap around your wrist.
“what?” it comes out harsher than you intend it. funny how you put on a face of a woman made out of steel when your knees can barely hold your weight the moment you feel his warm hand on your skin.
“i knew - i knew but i didn’t want to tie you down.” with his head lowered and his long hair, you can’t see his eyes for an idea of what he’s saying. 
“yoongi, what-”
“i knew how you felt.” at that moment, his grip on you loosens. it’s almost as though it’s an overdue confession and the weight on his shoulders has finally lifted, “you only knew me - you turned down every boy that tried to ask you out in high school and college. you -you were only looking at me and i didn’t want that on my shoulders - i didn’t want you to turn down every opportunity to life - to dating, to heart break to - to sex with someone - several someone’s just because we were engaged.”
his fingers traces down your index finger before falling away. but you won’t tell him - you can never do it to namjoon - that it took all of you not to twine your fingers with his just because it felt like he was letting go.
your breath hitches in your throat when you turn your cheek towards him. the sight before you is something you’d never thought you’d see in your entire life. yoongi’s pink dusts his otherwise snowflake skin. the bored expression he usually wears is gone - almost as if he’s never worn it his entire life as something akin to desperation pools in those dark eyes. his soft pink lips are agape as though he wants to say something. and you wait, wait, wait but he never does.
so you turn your back on him, heels clicking against the ground as you slip past the door without a word. only when you’re at the end of the hallway, do you turn the corner, back pressed against the wall because your buckling legs might not be able to handle your weight.
those unsaid words - you can hear them clearly: i fucking regret letting you go.
x
the following week, you spend by drowning yourself in work and later working on your research until the library closes. by the time you’re pressing the 20th floor to the penthouse you both shared, you know for certain namjoon’s gone to bed. he values his sleep time. says it’s essential to keep himself in a good mood so others who work with him would be at ease. sometimes you want to tell him it’s okay not to think about others for once but the words lay buried the depth of your heart because you’re exactly like him. suppressing your feelings, smiling and saying you’re okay even though you’re not. the only difference is there’s a side of you that wants to lash out, do something worse to those who hurt you while namjoon does it from the good of his heart.
“it’s hard, being nice.” he says in between the clink of the stirring of the spoon in his coffee mug.
you look up from the peanut butter you’re spreading over your toast. “hm?”
he shakes his head, as if to say it’s nothing, i’m just thinking out loud. but the words he says next is enough to make your heart drop right to the ground. “yoongi told me.”
“wh-what?” it’s denial in your tone - the combination of those three words are simple enough to take you back to the school nine days ago. in side that little classroom.
“yesterday. he came over to the office.” he shrugs as if it’s no big deal but the tensed line of his shoulders is apparent no matter how casually he brings the mug to his smiling lips - that too. his lips are smiling but his eyes are not.
you don’t know when or how you started noticing the little things. sensing namjoon’s moods - his reactions and his retractions. you never realized you were so in tune with the things he does. all you realize is you’re already able to read him like a book - thick, best-leather book that was safeguarded by a lock.
“namjoon,” the clink of the butter knife being set on your plate resonates like a pin drop in a vacuum room, “nothing happened. i promise.”
“i know - i know you’d never do anything like that so that’s why i’m telling you it’s okay.” something in the way he looks at you make you bite your tongue - as if he’s asking you to listen even though you’re bursting at the seams. you’d do anything to prove that nothing happened even though you knew he knew. “we entered into this marriage for a mutual reason. not dreading to come home is more than i can ask for. so it’s okay if you want to see yoongi just... keep out of the spotlight like many in our shoes who found love outside of it have.”
he chuckles but it’s strained and tense, dumping the coffee into the sink because he couldn’t bear to stay in the kitchen any longer. you slip out of the high stool, feet padding around the counter and before you know it, your arms around his body. you feel him freeze under your touch and this is wrong - wrong on so many levels because he would have asked if he could touch you and you’re not reflecting the same amount of respect he had for you.
but for some reason, you can’t let go - you’re afraid if you let him walk out of the door, you’d never be able to grasp even a shadow of his existence.
“i don’t want to.” the words are muffled from your cheek pressing against his back.
a pause lapses between you when you don’t say anything else. no explanation. no reason. because you don’t know it yourself. you don’t know why your heart clenches in your chest at the sight of namjoon’s dismal smile. you don’t know why you acted on your instincts and hugged the man.
you don’t know.
“okay.” he sighs softly as a warm palm rests above your fisted hand. you wish you can see him - wish you can see what kind of expression he’s making because it’s killing you to not know what he’s thinking. “you don’t have to, if you don’t want to.”
that’s when the sniffle escapes you. internally, you curse yourself for being so emotion-driven. it’s not a good trait for a doctor to have.
namjoon calls your name. the syllabus rolling off his tongue makes your stomach churn with butterflies. “are you crying?”
you don’t expect him to say that. don’t expect the teasing undertone either. naturally, your respond comes a heartbeat later, “n-no.”
the body under your touch shifts. all of a sudden, you’re eye-to-eye with him. there’s a sparkle in them that almost makes you forget how to breathe. his dimples dig into his cheek as his lips curl into a smile whilst his large hands frames you face.
“wh-what?” you feel your brows furrowing, lips pursed.
“you’re too cute.” his thumb grazes your burning cheekbone feather light, “i want to kiss you.”
“then do it.” you don’t know the reason behind that angry, pressed tone but namjoon doesn’t seem to mind - or he knows something you don’t.
you don’t have the time to ponder on that when a pair of lush lips meshes with yours. the scent of the coffee he had engulfs your senses as one hand finds its way to the back of his neck and the other rests on his accelerating heartbeat. time seems to stop when namjoon’s kissing you. somewhere in the back of your mind, you distinctly remember something perpetually important but you couldn’t be bothered as his hands fall away from your face and finds the dip of your lower back and pull you closer until your bodies are pressed together.
somewhere in a distant, you hear the beep of the front door. hoseok’s voice booming across the hallway that leads to the living room and the kitchen where you’re at now.
“namjoon? you here? did you oversleep? man, i never thought i’d see the day our ceo is late to work.” hoseok’s footsteps stops at the end of the hallway, “oh great, you’re all dressed.”
he blinks, surprised at the sight of his boss who’s leaning against the edge of the sink - hands pressed on either side of the edge, doing absolutely nothing while you dip a butter knife into a jar of peanut butter and jelly but equally as out-of-it as his boss appear to be.
“y-yeah, let me grab my blazer.” namjoon pushes himself off, going around the counter and heading towards the stairs where his bedroom is until -
“it’s here.” hoseok points out.
“what?”
“your blazer. it’s this one, right?” the secretary loyally scoops up the thick maroon blazer off the couch and hands it to his boss who’s just barely recovered from what seems to be a trance. 
he’d went down and tossed the blazer on the couch before making his coffee - before the kiss.
namjoon clears his throat, refusing to look at the man’s scrutinizing eyes as he thanks him and slips the blazer on. but he loses those eyes when he peeks over the man’s shoulder, mini-waving at you, “hey, morning, doc.”
you return the greeting, refraining a blush as you feel the ghost of namjoon’s lips when you fix his secretary a smile, “hey, hoseok. care to join us for breakfast?”
the man shrugs, eyes flitting over his boss who now seems ready to go, “thanks doc but i had some cereal and cold milk.”
he bids his farewell and escapes out of where he came from, letting the two of do what newly weds do before the other goes to work. it’s in that moment that he realizes with a chill running down his spine as he sat in the driver seat - that namjoon isn’t a bachelor anymore and he couldn’t come and go as he pleases and that he might have interrupted something. come to think of it, both you and namjoon’s cheeks were flushed...
“h-hey boss,” hoseok steals a glance of the man at the backseat through the rear view mirror. he almost chokes on his next words when the man’s eyes meet him but he persists like a man on a mission to not get fired , “y-you know, i’ve been with kimcorp. f-for a long time. i-it’s like my family a-and i’ll work harder from now on.”
confusion flashes across namjoon’s features for the briefest moment. he doesn’t know what makes hoseok say something so out of his character and shakily at that but it’s not the first time that his employee’s said something like this to him - of course, minus the stutter and all.
“that’s good to know, hoseok.” he says simply.
x
it’s been a week since you told namjoon you didn’t - wouldn’t see anyone. yoongi or not. when you told him you were going to meet yoongi at a cafe near his studio to give the man an answer - a hard no, there’s still some needling doubt in namjoon’s gaze as he reverts his eyes away from you. as though he was afraid that the illusion would fade away and he’d end up catching the smolder of passion he’d always seen you look at the man with.
he’s not lost to your feelings - in hindsight, it was pathetically obvious how smitten you were for the elder man. even your and his parents could see. and they’d foreseen many things but not having to plead and then beg and then finally, force you into a marriage you didn’t want with the brother of the man you loved.
your only regret was leaving without kissing namjoon goodbye - but it also felt like anything you said, any sort of assurance you offered would just be an act. until you tell his brother to stop.
“come to think of it,” you set the warm cup of latte down. it would have tasted better if the circumstances were different, “we never properly ended things. the only way i knew the engagement was over was through mom and dad.” his parents you meant.
he tilts his head to the side as a response - an indication that he’s listening. he’s dressed in plain white shirt and the darkest jeans. the bags under his eyes is an indication that he hasn’t slept in days - either it’s because of working late nights trying to make music or because of what he’d said to you.
you know he’d do this - detach himself from reality when things gets tough or when he’s stuck in a situation he doesn’t have control over. but you still had hope. still held onto the past seven years you’d spent together for him to regard you with enough respect to offer closure.
“do you love naeun that much?” and yet you still ask.
you meet his hollow gaze, not knowing the intensity yours hold until your fingerpads wrapped around aches and he lets out a heavy breath.
“she was different.” he says simply - almost tiredly, “she caught my eyes. we started talking and we found out we had some things in common. i thought she’s what i needed to get over you.”
“don’t.” the churning starts from your stomach and spreads across your body like a poisonous fog. “don’t use me as an excuse for leaving. you loved me as much as i loved you and you got scared.”
a lump forms in your throat as the memories, the inside jokes that built up over time, the comfortable silents spent - everything comes crashing in like tidal wave. you knew he loved you deep down. that was why the news of him getting married took a toll on you - so much so, you decided to leave everything behind and fly to paris.
“you could’ve pushed me away if you truly had no feelings for me but you kept me around and let me think we were going to have a happy future together.” his image is distorted from the prickles of tears in your eyes but you blink them away, “but you didn’t really know you were in love with me back then, huh? that’s why you got scared shitless and decided to leave.” you’re not sure if you’re choking on your words or if you’re actually scoffing. maybe both.
in that moment, you watch as yoongi’s expression switches from that signature boredom to realization and finally unbridled sorrow. he must feel suffocated - like he’s drowning in emotions the way you did in that suite you spent for two weeks in paris before you decided to buy an apartment and stay for good. and you would have if your parents didn’t call you back - recounted all their sacrifices for you to make you guilty enough to agree to the marriage with his younger brother. he’ll spend the same amount of time sleeping and waking up in his room and realizing he can’t turn back time.
“i fucked up big time, didn’t i?” he laughs dryly as he presses his palm to his face, hunched over the minute round table.
the latte is still half-full when you swipe your phone off the table and stand up. he doesn’t spare you a glance - he probably couldn’t bring himself to face you now.
‘you’re a fucking coward min yoongi.’ is what you want to say but for some reason, you leave the words to die on the tip of your tongue. you won’t - can’t wish him a happy life and propose to put everything past you. it’s not that simple and you’re not that forgiving. but namjoon’s easy smile flashes at the back of your head at this moment of all time and makes your heart clench painfully in your chest. their relationship is already strained and if you insist on prolonging this, it’s only going to end up hurting namjoon one way or another and the cycle will just keep going on with naeun getting hurt if she found out.
“you did.” your hand is trembling around the strap of your bag, “but it’s all in the past and i don’t blame you. things wouldn’t turn out the way they do otherwise. so just... live for the present, yoongi.”
his shoulders rise and fall a little faster than normal but there’s nothing you can do - and it’s better if you leave him to collect his thoughts. the censor at the door beeps as you pass through. it takes a moment for you to feel the morning air brush your cheeks and sunlight to seep into you. your chest still feels tight but in due time, you know it’ll lighten.
x
“hey, boss. you have a special guest.” hoseok peeks into namjoon’s office like the slyboots he is. the wiggle of the man’s brows before he disappears gives namjoon all the more reason to prepare for the worse.
“send them in.” he sighs, not bothering to hide his feelings in front of hoseok. they’ve been working side by side for a long time and friends for longer he knows his friend is aware of the contrasting definition of ‘special’ but this once, as he sees you walk through the door - he admits that him and hoseok may finally be of the same mind.
namjoon shoots up from his seat, clearing his throat and buttoning his blazer together the way he’s so used to doing it when he receives an unannounced visit from his father. “what brings you here?”
instead of shooting him one of your brilliant smiles, you drop your bag on the crisp white leather couch and run right into him. arms wrapped around his torso, he can smell your favorite floral shampoo from your hair but he can’t bring himself to hug you back. his heart is palpitating inside his chest and he can only pray for some miracle that you can’t hear it. which is most unlikely what with your head coming up just a few centimeters above his shoulder line and your ears being the same height as the beating organ in his chest.
if you notice, you're not saying anything about it.
“i met yoongi just now.”
namjoon doesn’t say a word for the longest time - it’s so namjoon of him not to. but it’s also not where you stand now. that day, when you partially admitted to liking namjoon and you’re pretty sure he felt the same - you’d seen a side of namjoon you never thought you’d saw. vulnerable. fearful. all because he thought he was going to lose you - and it felt like he’s always been prepared for it. it was just a matter of time.
the muscles in your arms contracts at the thought of namjoon being so ready to let you go - is it like that too, right now? is he expecting you to go back on your words and tell him you’re going to have an affair with his brother? you don’t know and that’s driving you insane. 
and just when the muscles in your arm contract, just when you’re about to pull away, namjoon’s arms band around your body and a kiss lands on top of your head.
“did you tell him what you wanted to tell him all this time?” his voice is velvet and smooth and you can hear that easy smile as he speaks.
you nod against his chest. “it’s over. i told him to get lost.”
the chest vibrates against your cheek as rings of chuckles tumble out of namjoon’s mouth. it makes your body light up with a sort of fire. and for once, you welcome the heat spreading across your cheeks like an old friend.
he knows the last part is a bluff - it’s comforting that he knows without having you say it.
does he also know...
“after that i came here because i wanted to see you.” you crane your neck to look up at him.
true enough there’s that smile and gets wider when he meets your gaze. a hand comes to rest on your neck while his thumb grazes your chin as he presses his lips to yours. you think your heart might explode at any moment now as you kiss him back, your hand snaking to his shoulder but he stops your right hand, holding it on his chest. his heart beats the same rhythm as yours. his shoulder line heaving the same way yours do when the back of your thighs hit the couch and you finally break apart. but before you have the chance to gather your thoughts, his lips are on you again. the hand on your lower back pulling you closer until your thighs press on either side of his legs.
“let’s go home now.” he murmurs between breaths, “i might really go crazy if i touch another part of your body that’s covered in clothing.”
it’s in that moment that the door swings open.
x
hoseok bursts through the door with the photostatted files in his hand. there’s a skip in his step.
“hey boss! here’s the files you asked for.”
he looks between you - well your back - and namjoon. the ceo is fixing his tie with a hard expression while you’re standing facing the ceiling-to-floor window that overlooks the streets and several stores in the area.
d-did he just walk into you two fighting?
“thanks, hoseok.” namjoon swipes the files from his hand, walking back to his seat around the desk and dropping the files with a sharp pap!
“n-no problem boss.” he takes one frightened step backwards before turning around but before he manages to escape the lion’s den, you stop him.
“hoseok wait.” it comes out a bit rushed. granted, you’re not in any position to waste time. you dropped by even though you know you can’t afford being late to work but somehow you ended up at namjoon’s office anyway. the secretary seems to physically turn into a rock before shakily turn his cheek to you with a smile.
“uh, yeah doc?”
“namjoon, do you mind me borrowing hoseok for a bit?” the heat comes on full force as you turn to namjoon. he’s burning a hole through the files he’s flipping through but you don’t miss the pinked tips of his ears and the way his adam’s apple bobs at the sound of his name on your tongue, “my shift is starting at noon so i need to be there by,” you check the watch on your wrist, “now.”
the way namjoon doesn’t even look up from flipping the papers is how hoseok know for sure you’re fighting. “sure thing. oh and hoseok, no detours. come straight back once you drop ___ off.”
but to you, it’s because he’s flustered beyond imagination - you know, like you know how he’ll condemn himself for not being able to control himself like that. your whole body heats up as you slip into the back seat when the image of namjoon’s hooded eyes, reddened cheeks and half agape lips flash at the back of his mind. a part of you - the reasonable one - chides yourself for even thinking about ditching work and actually going home with him but another part wishes to indulge in the endless possibilities of what will happen if you did.
x
“____,” your name tumbles out of namjoon’s mouth in a breathy huff. naturally so. he hasn’t even caught his breath from when he finds you crawling over him like a woman in on a mission. now, the same exact woman his cuffing his wrists and holding them over his head with one hand while the other is undoing the buttons of his shirt while she kisses him in all the right places.
“wh-where did you even get cuffs?” his headboard is one of those pristine white cushioned ones meaning there isn’t any rails for you to hook him on and keep him in place. but you don’t need that because namjoon can barely move - all that time he spends at the gym has gone down the drain as invisible threads tie him down.
“oh these?” you let one corner of your lips tug deviously. it’s been six months since you got married and you and namjoon has never gone past the occasional cuddles and light kisses. the morning after that day when you dropped by his office after meeting yoongi, namjoon had declared his intentions to ‘do it right’ - like dates and getting to know each other better before anything else. 
it was sweet of him. until you realized you barely had time for dates - only late night conversations that ended up with you on top of him but before things could progress, he’d do everything he could to avoid bedroom affairs. but over time, it gets a bit discouraging. so this is the last straw - there’s no wine or champagne for him to use as an excuse to carry you to your room. you’re both sober, and if he doesn’t want you -
“never mind where i got these.” the low sound emitting from his throat makes your heart skip a beat as your lips brush against the shell of his ear, “don’t you want me, namjoon?”
trailing hisses down his smooth jawline, you let your lips hover over his - it only lasts for a heartbeat before he closes the distance and starts kisses you like a famine beast.
“i want you,” he confesses when you pull away just to reinforce your control. he may be the one lying down with his hands bound but it almost felt like you’re the hopeless one here - almost. the  a feral glint in his eyes sends hot waves down your core - you have to tell yourself to breathe. “of course i fucking want you ___.”
you hum in contemplation - taking just enough time to sit straighter and let your fingers undo the rest of the buttons and stopping just above his belt. the few times you laid together and he lets you lie on top of him - you knew he was brains and brawn. but you didn’t expect a perfectly sculpted body of adonis himself to be lying beneath you. the ridges of his abs heaves helplessly as he drawn in deep breaths. 
somewhere on the edge of the bed where you’d tossed it, your phone vibrates - someone’s calling but that can wait.
you lean down, soft tresses brushing his skin as you kiss that spot that illicit a delicious sound from him the first time you discovered it. somewhere in the junction between his shoulder and neck.
“fuck.” his voice is raw and desperate and carnal as his body yearns for you. his legs bent at the knees, feet ground into the bed as he grinds his hip into you - the signs of his arousal painfully obvious.
you can’t help but giggle at the way he so vehemently yearn for you. somewhere on the bed, your phone starts vibrating again.
“y-your phone.” he manages to stammer out. it’s the third time it’s vibrating.
“don’t worry about it. the only people who would call me at this time is jisoo’s drunken butt dial or the hospital-” you sit back up, heat still pooling in your stomach when your hips grind against namjoon’s arousal in the process but the urgency in the way you swipe your phone off the sheets has stolen your attention.
clear as day, it is one of the two possibilities you’ve mentioned and it isn’t your quirky colleague.
x
when you first started working, you were of the ripe age and eager to help those in need. you loved your job despite the long arduous hours, missed meals and ungodly hour roll calls because at the end of the day, it was what you wanted to do - it was the one thing you wouldn’t let your parents take away from you. you fought blood sweat and tears to get where you are now.
and doctors don’t usually start a family until they’ve at least finished their residency - but you had to get married early to keep your end of the bargain. of course, you didn’t expect to commit to said marriage. you didn’t also expect to fall for namjoon either. and you certainly didn’t expect for him to still be here in the waiting area when you walked out of the emergency operating room, head lulling to the side as sleep begins to take him, arms crossed over his chest. he didn’t even get the chance to change when you hurriedly uncoffed him, informing him about an emergency at the er. he’d offered to drive you since you couldn’t drive and waiting for an uber driver to accept your request this late at night would take more time. you’d rushed out of the car with a ‘thanks, namjoon. i owe you one!’ thinking he’d go home and get some rest - there’s no telling how long these surgeries take after all.
when he leans too far to the side, his eyes flutter open softly before noticing the turquoise-clad body in his periphery.
“___, you’re done? did the surgery go alright?” he’s always had a way of saying your name. it makes your heart warm and your chest full as he stands up to close the distance between you - to cup one side of your cheek with his hand. though your delayed response may have been the reason for that.
“the surgery was a success.” you finally say, your smaller hand covering his, lips curving softly. guilt creeps up the creeks of your chest but gratitude washes it away. it wouldn’t have been very namjoon of him if he didn’t consider everything: how you’d go home once you’re done. if there’s even any uber working this late of an hour. your heart is swelling - you don’t think you can ever love him more than you do now but namjoon being namjoon, he’ll make you fall in love with him more and more until your heart is filled to the brim, “thank you, namjoon.”
and he gets it. just like that. the words that you’re saying without putting them into words because there are many ways to say it and a plethora of intrepreting it but namjoon gets it because his heart beats the same rhythm as you: i love you.
a dimpled smile curls over his lips as he places a kiss over your forehead, “should we go home?” he leans down to whisper into your ears, his tone changing dangerously, “and pick up where we left off, yeah doc?”
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official-weasley · 3 years ago
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The Extraordinary Dragon (Part 1/6)
After about a century of me being gone and not writing a new story, I am back with a mini-series! 💙
I didn't have a good idea for a new OC so I decided to write a cute and fluffy story about Charlie training a dragon with a sad and mysterious past.
I would like to thank @am-i-space @madelineorionswan & @the-al-chemist for giving me ideas for the names of the dragons mentioned in the story. You are the best 💙 Since some of the dragons are mentioned in the later chapters I will make sure to include which dragons you named in the Masterlist for the story 💙
If you'd like to be tagged in every part the dragon with your name is mentioned please tell me and I will gladly do so 🤗
Warnings: Charlie being excited and obsessed with dragons.
Word count: 2,869
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A dragon's roar awakened me. It might sound terrifying to some, but it is a pure melody for my ears. I have been working in the Romanian Dragon Sanctuary for almost 10 years now. Come to think of it tomorrow's the anniversary.
My co-workers constantly tease me, telling me that I'm a workaholic. I always disagree with them. I just love dragons and working with them. Am I a bit obsessed with the creatures? Maybe. But who wouldn't be so excited about having their dream job?
There is something so soothing working with a beast that can swallow you whole, yet if you have the right energy and you treat them right they can be more obedient than a Crup.
When I first got the job I worked with a team of researchers. Since I have never seen a dragon in real life before starting working, my boss Matthew wanted me to learn about their behavior and study them to be better prepared to do other things.
They all thought I will be bored out of my mind – because I applied for the care of dragons position and not researching – but I loved every second of it. All I had to do was wake up every morning and go to the assigned habitat and observe the dragon there and take notes. It's like reading a book about the creatures – something I did almost every day of my 7 years at Hogwarts – but you get to be around them every single day.
My mother thinks I am insane for wanting to be around such dangerous creatures and I had to promise her before I left for Romania that I will write home every day otherwise she is coming to get me at once. I guess she needs to know daily that I wasn't eaten by a dragon. The thing is that being hurt by a dragon is less likely than falling off a broom, so I don't know what she is so worried about.
The only one of my family members that knows about all my injuries and all my scars is my big brother Bill. He understands that I don't mind getting hurt and he doesn't get a heart attack every time I end up in the infirmary. It's nice to talk to someone about these things outside my workspace. Even though being a Curse Breaker isn't the safest job in the world, Bill's number of scars can't even compare to mine.
We do have protective gear and gloves but sometimes the dragon's fire and teeth are just too strong. We are lucky that we have wonderful healers that take care of us and we have remedies that heal burns within minutes so it's mostly just an annoyance.
The year after my training I worked only with Common Welsh Greens. The year after that I tamed two Antipodean Opaleyes and it was the best feeling to see them get excited and welcome me with a friendly roar every morning. Even though they were both adults it felt like dealing with two kids and it was so much fun. The latter are such sweethearts and I even taught one how to roll over. They are like dogs but bigger, way bigger.
After that, I tried to convince my boss to let me work with a more dangerous breed. It's not that I didn't like what I did but I like a challenge. I needed 2 months to convince him to let me work with 2 Chinese Fireballs and by the smirk on his face I knew I was in for a treat. They were brought to our reserve so they could breed but no matter how much others tried nobody succeeded at mating them.
When Matthew finally gave in – not seeing any harm in letting me try before they send them back – I remember I danced around my hut for a solid half an hour being so excited to work with them the next day.
I was surprised that nobody thought of the strategy I choose. It was true that they brought the dragons to us together but they didn't know each other and since nobody thought of trying to acquaint them first, I gave it a go.
After 3 days they were best mates and I gave them 4 more days to fully feel comfortable with each other before taking them to the mating habitat. I am more than proud to say that since then they have been parents 2 times. I did some great things since I started working in the Sanctuary but you never forget your first big achievement.
Due to Matthew being absolutely in awe of me succeeding after a week he allowed me to work with a bunch of Swedish Short-Snouts even though usually only a dragonologist with 5+ years of experience can work with them alone.
I was amused when I saw the faces of some of my older co-workers when they found out – thinking they were going to get the job. I love working with them even though they are the ones responsible for most of my scars. Just after the first day, one burned my entire forearm and everyone thought I was going to back off because of it but it only made me want to work with them more.
Now, after almost 10 years I have worked with every single breed of dragon except my favorite – the Hebridean Black. They are one of the most dangerous and stubborn kind and only a dragonologist with a lot of experience gets to work with them.
I got the glimpse of one when I was working with the research team but no matter how sneaky I tried to be, Matthew wouldn't let me get anywhere close to them. I even got a chance to work with a team that took care of a sick Norwegian Ridgeback even though they are considered to be the most dangerous.
A year ago I got a chance to be part of an exchange program at the Swedish Dragon Reserve and I worked with a Peruvian Vipertooth and a Ukrainian Ironbelly. My boss wasn't happy about the latter one as he reckoned I was too inexperienced to be around and try to tame the largest breed of dragons but as you can probably tell from what I told you so far, I was over the roof about it!
The Ironbelly might be the largest but they are among the least vicious ones – none of my co-workers would agree with me as most of them are terrified of them but I think they are adorable thinking since they are the biggest they are also the scariest. It's the same as with dogs – sometimes the smaller ones are more dangerous.
I got out of bed with a grin on my face. Even though I don't like to admit it I like reminiscing on my biggest achievements.
I made myself some breakfast – eggs and bacon as usual – while blasting music on my wireless. Nothing like singing while cooking and reading the letters my family sent me.
Mum and dad were going to visit George and Ron for the weekend. Bill and Fleur decided to repaint their living room. Ginny invited me to one of her games next week and Percy got another promotion.
I walked to the wall where I had a calendar hanging to mark the date of Ginny's game. It was the perfect event to meet with most of my family members and I love supporting her. I am proud of all my siblings' achievements but Ginny being the only girl among 6 boys made us all have a soft spot for her - even Percy, even though he would probably deny it if someone asked him about it.
Since I was working with three different dragons at the moment – Peruvian Vipertooth named Hel and two Romanian Longhorns Lasair and Rocker – I double-checked my schedule to see which one I am supposed to visit today. As I thought, it was Lasair. I know my schedule by heart but always check it twice– I don't want any dragon to be jealous thinking one is getting more attention from me.
My routine with the dragons was simple. First, they get their breakfast which is usually a piece of their favorite meat, except if it's our Common Welsh Green Crystal – she is the only dragon I have ever met that is a vegetarian and she mostly doesn't want to eat anything else than apples. It took us the longest time to figure out why she doesn't want to eat – vomiting out all the meat we gave her – until we moved her to an habitant with a pumpkin patch and them mysteriously disappearing overnight.
After the feeding, I like to play with them. That usually includes large balls or levitating rocks after which they can jump and run. Then it's my favorite part of the day – the flying lessons. We transport them to the part of the reserve that is built like a large stadium in the middle of the forest surrounded by mountains and it has 10 obstacles that the dragons have to learn to overcome so they are cleared for free-flying sessions.
After flying it's time for a brief pause to get the dragon back to its habitat and calm it down before giving it dinner and tucking it in.
Flying is the most fun thing we can do at our job. When Matthew told me that I am finally allowed to fly with them, I had to excuse myself and go to the bathroom because I felt like crying my eyes out. I wanted to fly on a dragon ever since I was a kid and even though I heard rumors about training them in that way, I always thought it was too good to be true.
The first time I flew on a dragon was with a dragonologist named Jim. He showed me how to properly prepare the dragon to be in the mood to have a person on its back and how to lift off and then safely land. Vulcan the Opaleye was just the loveliest when I trained with him to trust me to the point that he would allow me to fly. Even though my dream is to one day fly on a Hebridean Black, I wouldn't change my first flight for anything in the world.
Vulcan was more than obedient and so careful to make me feel comfortable and constantly made sure I was still on his back. He flew in a straight line and at an even pace making me feel so safe that I let go of his shiny scales and lifted my hands in the air. I wanted to shout from all the adrenaline and excitement that ran through me but I didn't want to startle the dragon.
It's safe to say that I didn't sleep at all that night. The second I laid in my bed I felt as if I was still in the air with Vulcan and I couldn't help but wish to do that every day.
"Good morning, Lasair. What do you want to eat this morning? Boar, deer, moose perhaps?"Lasair lifted her head sleepily at me. I teased her with the options, knowing full well that moose was her favorite. If she could speak she would ask me if I can't remember her favorite meal.
"Don't worry, you'll get what you want." I winked at her and put on my gloves before taking out my wand and levitating the big chunk of meat to her.
Lasair was one of the rare dragons that ate her food slowly, so I loved to sit down next to her and watched her chew. If Matthew saw me, he would probably murder me for sitting so close to a dragon but he doesn't know that Lasair and I have an agreement of her keeping me alive and I give her some extra meat for dinner in return.
"So, Lassy, I have some bad news." I cleared my throat as the dragon stopped chewing and tilted her head toward me. "We have to sharpen your claws today."
Lasair groaned and went back to her breakfast.
"I know, I know. Not your favorite thing to do. Trust me if it was up to me, we would rather do something more fun like play with your favorite tire or play fetch with your ball. But the boss said it was time."
Lasair didn't react to my words but laid on the ground once she finished her meal and wrapped her tail around me.
"You know that cuddling and being cute won't work on me." I chuckled. "Not this time, at least."
The dragon's nostrils started to smoke and I knew she was trying to negotiate.
"Between you and me," I whispered, "I'll throw in another piece of meat if you'll be a good girl like last time. How about some boar for dessert, huh?"
Lasair let out a gentle roar, giving me a sign that she agrees with my terms.
"That's my girl. I knew we'll find a common ground." I grinned at her and got up so we could start our day.
"Okay, Lassy. I will need you to step on this mat and do the burying motion. As if you were burying the bones of a deer." I explained when Lasair looked at the mat in confusion.
I mimicked the gesture and she copied it and walked to the mat with grace as if she was a princess.
"There you go! I am so proud of you, Lasair. You really want that extra piece of meat, huh?" I laughed to myself.
"So that is how you get all dragons to behave as if they're Crups?" I turned toward the voice and saw Matthew's amused face, observing my work with the Romanian Longhorn.
"You were never meant to find out," I said in a dramatic voice.
"Oh, it's fine." Matthew swung his hand. "You'll need all the skills."
"What do you mean?" I furrowed my brows at him as I stepped to Lasair to show her to step a bit forward so she could sharpen the claws on her back paws as well.
"Do you know what tomorrow is?" Matthew asked, observing my every move.
"No." I lied. I knew that tomorrow will be 10 years since I work in the reserve but I didn't want to boast about it.
"Come on, Charles. I know that you out of everyone here you’re the one who counts how long you are working here for." He smirked at me.
I couldn't believe it. He remembered that it's my 10th anniversary? I couldn't help but grin.
"What about it?" I tried acting casually.
"Well, the team was thinking about what to get you as a present..."
"Matt, you don't have to get me anything. You know I am just happy being surrounded by dragons." I smiled appreciatively.
"Well, how about you get surrounded by a new dragon?" He winked at me.
"What are you on about?" I narrowed my eyes at him. I was getting impatient, the excitement in me growing.
"We are getting a one-year-old Hebridean Black in a week from the MacFusty’s." Matthew started to explain. "And since you are so good at taming and being best mates with the three you’re taming now, I was thinking of assigning it to you."
"Did...did you just say a Hebridean Black?" I said in a voice that was barely a whisper. I couldn't believe what just came out of his mouth. He was going to let me work with my favorite breed?
"You heard correctly, Charles." Matthew's smirk was growing larger.
"But...but I don't have enough experience, you said so yourself. You...you should give the job to someone worthy, to someone who will know how to handle the breed." I knew that I should've just shut up and thank him for the opportunity. Working with a Hebridean Black has been my goal ever since I can remember, but I have to keep my head clear and think of what's best for the dragon.
"Thinking like this is exactly why I am giving the job to you even though I told you the last time you begged me that you need at least 7 more years before you can work with them." Something in his eyes shifted. He had the exact expression on his face as he did when he assigned me to breed those two Fireballs.
"You are up to something. What's wrong with the dragon?" I pursed my lips at him.
"Oh, the dragon is just fine. Lovely, actually. I bet you two will have a lot of fun." The sarcastic tone in his voice told me that he was hiding something from me but I didn't dare to ask him about it.
He deemed me ready to work with a Hebridean Black. To work with my favorite breed. I am not about to jeopardize that if he thinks I am the one for the job. In a week my biggest dream will come true and there was nothing in the world that could ruin that.
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free-pancakes · 3 years ago
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Dreams and Nightmares
Summary: LeviHan Canon-Divergence fic Hange barely survives the final fight against Eren, and is saved by inheriting the Beast Titan from Zeke Yeager in the end. However, the Scouts soon find that this would come with a heavy price–particularly at Levi’s expense. Chapter 9/? Chapter 8 Chapter 7 Chapter 6 Chapter 5 Chapter 4 Chapter 3 Chapter 2 Chapter 1
crossposted to ao3 here: link
notes: ahhh this one's long, I got carried away. but! hope you all like it! thanks for reading everyone, i think i'll be wrapping up this story in one more chapter after this!
CHAPTER 9
“Happy birthday, Levi!”
Kuchel gently shook the child awake, his big grey eyes blinking sleepily until he realized what day it was. He sat up quickly, a tiny smile on his face as Kuchel squeezed him tightly in a warm embrace.
“How old are you again, sweetie? I seemed to have lost count!”
Levi jumped up on his bed, fists pumped up in the air in triumph— “Mama, I’m 5 years old today!”
“Oh that’s right!” She said with a bright, yet tired grin. Stepping out into the kitchen, she had a small breakfast prepared for him, and reached to the countertop for a surprise. Levi burst out of their shared bedroom and sat at the table, waiting for his mother to sit with him. Next to him she placed down her cup of coffee.
Mouth full, Levi asks, “Aren’t you gonna eat with me, Mama?” Before he could try to give her half of what was on his plate, she whipped out a small cinnamon bun for him from behind her back.
His eyes sparkled as he saw the small pastry, something he had always dreamed of eating—one of the fancy-looking ones from the bakery window he would see on the other side of the underground.
“Once you finish all of your breakfast, you can have this, okay Levi?” He nodded earnestly, gobbling up the rest of his food before reaching for the bun. He tried to give her half, but she settled for a little bite, convinced by Levi’s little glare when she said she wouldn’t try any. Kuchel’s nearly empty stomach rumbled in hunger, but her heart was completely full as she watched her son eat a proper meal for once.
Luckily, she had the whole day free for him without having to leave him early for work. So, she took Levi for a walk to one place she had always wanted to take him—he was just old enough that he’d be able to keep this memory as he grew older, and she wanted him to remember and hold on to it for years to come.
They walked hand in hand until they reached a part of the underground that was very unfamiliar to Levi. Kuchel bent down to his height, and put her index finger up to her her lips, signaling him to keep quiet. Levi nodded, and followed her as she led him to a small ladder hidden amongst some abandoned buildings. When she reached the top, she reached down to hoist Levi up with her—and Levi covered his mouth to stifle a gasp. A tiny secluded area where some light from above ground escaped to shine on that very spot, there a bright patch of green grass with something quite beautiful in the middle...
Kuchel whispered as they crawled up to it together: “These are African violets, Levi,” she said with a smile as Levi’s eyes grew wide as he stared in awe. He had never seen real plants before, only in some of the few books he’s seen in his short 5 years of life. “They grow well in low light, like this spot right here!” She pointed to the grass and dirt underneath it— “Plants grow roots, which keep them grounded and so they can soak up water and nutrients to stay alive!”
“Wow,” Levi whispered as he looked, trying to imagine what the roots looked like below. “Mama, what happens if some of the roots ever get hurt?”
Kuchel tilted her head to the side, pleasantly surprised at her son’s curiosity. She chuckled, “Don’t worry Levi, even if some of the roots were to get severed or damaged, it’ll still continue living, and hopefully one day grow brand new roots in it’s place!”
Levi put one hand up to his forehead, and breathed a sigh of relief. “Okay, thanks Mama, that’s good to know!” Kuchel smiled and ruffled his hair, and they both sat to stare at the violets together for a little while longer.
——
“Is the Captain finally asleep?”
“Yeah, I think so, Jean,” Armin answered. The two stood just outside the open door to the infirmary room Hange laid in, and saw Levi had fallen asleep sitting up in the chair they had placed in the room for him.
It had been an entire week since Hange was in this state, and it had felt like an eternity to all of them. But as much as it was bringing all of them down, they knew it was affecting Levi the most.
“I don’t think Captain Levi has slept all week… the bags under his eyes seemed a lot darker and more menacing than the usual.” “Connie, now’s not the time to joke around about this,” Jean retorted.
“I’m not joking! It’s the truth and you know it!”
Armin jumped in to separate the two. “Guys, calm down, you might wake him up—“
Out of nowhere, a sweet aroma lingered in the air, causing all three of them to stop, looking around for the source. Their eyes all fell upon Mikasa, holding a small paper box.
“I… got this from Niccolo’s bakery. I remember Hange mentioning to me once that he liked—“
“Oi, is that a cinnamon bun?”
All four of them jumped, startled from Levi suddenly joining them.
“Captain, I think maybe you should go back to sleep—“ Levi squeezed Mikasa’s shoulder and gently took the box from her hands.
“All rested. Connie, it’s your turn to watch over Hange,” Levi said as he walked away.
Once he disappeared around the corner, Connie, Armin, and Jean frowned at Mikasa.
“You knew this the whole time and didn’t tell us?? All we needed was a stupid cinnamon bun to get him off our tails all these years??”
“Ow!”
Mikasa smacked Connie upside the head, and she swiftly followed after Levi, leaving the three in her dust. They grumbled and shrugged it off, and Connie went in to look after Hange.
Levi sat outside looking out at the ocean water as the sun began to set, an empty box filled with crumbs in his lap. It had been a long time since he thought about his mother, the violets. He thought about how much she probably sacrificed just to get him that cinnamon bun for his birthday.
The memories gave him some relief for once—he was absolutely exhausted, a week without any sleep weighing down on his eyelids as he stood guard over Hange. For once, they had a win—they made it out alive. But now, he wasn’t so sure they really won, and his hopes were beginning to unravel.
He closed his eyes. “Just for a moment,” he thought. But before he knew it, he woke to the cover of night, and Mikasa sitting next to him.
They sat in silence for a few moments before Mikasa decided to break it. “Can I ask why this is your favorite?” She said as she pointed to the empty box in his hands. Before he would answer Mikasa, Levi looked up at the sky, staring at the stars shining above him.
——
Hange stared at the stars above her, wondering if the ones here in paths were the same ones Levi would be able to look up at right now.
“Come on, Zeke, there has to be another way!”
Zeke yelled back. “Hange, we’ve tried everything! We’ve been at this for who knows how long! It’s not like we could keep track of time here, for all we know, it’s been weeks!’
Hange felt anger surge within her heart.
“And what, so we stop trying??” She kicked, sending showers of sand flying towards Zeke. Thunder cracked and lightning flashed, drizzles of rain beginning to fall.
Hange held up her hand to catch raindrops. “See, we learned that this realm is clearly susceptible to emotions!” She spun a knife from her pocket, and slashed at the palm she held up. “And we cant turn into titans here, but we are still able to regenerate here…”
Steam arose from her wound, the skin of her palm gradually mending back together. Then she picked up a leaf, and as she rubbed it, it morphed into a baseball—“And that objects we find here can sometimes turn into something we most desire…”
She threw the ball at Zeke, who caught it carefully. As he looked down at it, it suddenly morphed into a baseball bat, smacking him right in the face.
Hange threw her head back and laughed, “…and we know that it doesn’t always do morph reliably!”
Zeke grumbled, rubbing his forehead right where the bat hit him. He couldn’t believe Hange still had this much energy. He was right at his limit of patience for all of this. In his opinion, it was all moot—they had tried so many different things, and the turnout was looking quite bleak.
“Hange, have you—“
“…And we found out that…”
“Hange.”
“AND we know that—“
Zeke stood up and grabbed her hand, forcing her to look at him.
“Hange, listen. Have you ever thought… that maybe… maybe you should just let this all, go?”
Hange’s bright expression slowly faded, a confused frown now left on her face.
“W-what?”
“I’m just saying, we’ve racked our brains for maybe a week. And maybe we should just focus on getting you back home and out of paths. We’re not even sure if we could do that, right?”
Hange turned away from Zeke, and remained silent.
Zeke spoke— “Just… maybe you should just let Levi go, Hange. He’s alive right, isn’t that all that should matter to you?”
Hange looked up towards the giant, glowing tree standing in the center of paths.
“Do you really think the tree doesn’t hold anything promising? I know you tried before I landed here, but…”
“Hange are you even listening to me??”
Zeke watched Hange’s back, her frame beginning to tremble. Of all the losses, the countless losses Levi and she had endured up until now—they deserved a win. And she wouldn’t give up on it. Ever. She balled both hands into fists, and stopped shaking, now still and firm in her decision.
“Zeke, defeat is all the Survey Corps has ever known.” She took a deep breath. “…But this time, I’m bringing us a win, whether you’re gonna help me or not.” She then made the trek towards the tree.
Zeke sat in the sand, dumbfounded. Hange was intriguing to him—he wondered how different things would have been if she ended up being a Marleyan Eldian instead one within the walls. Someone sharp like himself but… a lot more optimistic. That’s right. Might have done them all really well and maybe things would have turned out better for him and his comrades—none of them knew what they were missing here. He brushed both these pointless thoughts and the sand off himself, standing up to follow after her.
——
Mikasa spoke— “Just… maybe you should just let Hange go, Captain Levi. She’s alive right, isn’t that all that should matter to you?”
Levi kept walking as Mikasa followed behind him.
“Connie you can go, I’ll be here.” He saluted and hurried out as he saw Mikasa darting her eyes at Levi.
“Captain.” Levi didn’t answer and resumed his post next to Hange.
“Captain Levi, did… did you hear me?”
Levi remained seated, and did not look up towards Mikasa as he spoke: “You remember what Hange said, that day? In Shiganshina?” He took a quick pause. “…That ever since we joined the Survey Corps, every day has brought a new farewell?”
Mikasa’s heart dropped heavily at the memory, but she nodded.
“Well, I’m not ready to say farewell just yet.” Levi said with confidence. He had been thinking all this time that he’d pay the price of Hange being afraid of him, that he’d be happy if she was simply alive. Well, he knew in his heart that Hange wouldn’t be happy this way.
And he wouldn’t either.
So, he was putting his trust in her. If anyone could figure it out, it’d be Hange—and they deserved a win.
Levi took Hange’s hand in his, and brought it near his lips.
“I told Mikasa today about my 5th birthday. My mother, the violets… you remember right?”
He kissed her hand. He remembered when Hange asked him to take her the minute she told her—they spent the whole day looking for it, and luckily, they did find it. And they were still growing there after all this time.
“They grow well in low light…”
He laid his head on the bed next to her, yawning.
“…And even if a small section of roots get damaged, the flowers will still grow happily. And maybe someday, brand new roots can grow back in its place…”
Stealing a glance upwards towards Hange’s face, he swore he saw her smile before he drifted off to sleep.
——
Zeke stood in front of the giant tree with Hange. Her brows were furrowed, deep in thought.
“Hange, what’re you thinking?”
She swung her head back at Zeke, suddenly speaking a mile a minute. “Have you thought about how almost every curious thing in this realm has been activated by some kind of strong emotion? Feeling? Attachment??” She lowered her head, her fingers rubbing her chin, her eyes looking up in thought. “Well, not sure if exactly this, but you know I guess attachment applies to simply having strong feelings and—“
“Hange, Hange, slow down. What exactly are you implying?”
Hange was no longer talking, and now walking up to the tree.
“Strong feelings… a memory maybe…”
She felt drawn to it, and began reaching her hand up to the tree trunk, focusing on one of the happiest memories she had stored in her beautiful mind.
“Hange be careful! None of us has ever touched—“
Hange closed her eyes, focusing on the memory with a smile on her face, and gently placed her fingers over the bark burning a bright white light. Suddenly, yellow light began traveling between the bark’s crevices and nooks, slowly traveling to light up a whole section of the tree. A warm yellow glow covering only one section of branches to the top and going back down to where the visible portions of the tree ended in the sand.
The two looked in awe—it was breathtakingly beautiful.
“Why do you think—“ Zeke started, but simply couldn’t even finish his sentence in his shock.
Hange’s mind began racing, hypothesizing everything she could about what this might have meant, but out of nowhere, she felt like her heart stopped for a second, and it was as though she could hear Levi’s voice.
And her mind quieted, one particular memory coming to mind. She smiled and closed her eyes.
“Aw Levi…” she breathed out. “Thanks for reminding me of that memory…”
“Did you say something?” Zeke asked, only to find Hange shoot her head up, her eyes wild.
“Wait!” Hange yelled.
Was this the answer?
“The roots! Zeke!”
With a whooshing noise, the baseball bat from earlier suddenly morphed into a shovel. Hange began digging impatiently with her hands, pushing sand away to follow the portion of the tree lit with a yellow glow, following it down deep to reveal its roots.
Zeke was confused, but didn’t question her determination. He ran to grab the shovel and began to dig alongside her.
They dug for what felt like hours, and finally collapsed breathing heavily, arms aching, sweat dripping from their foreheads. Most of the root formation had been uncovered, still continuing to give off an inviting, warm, yellow glow.
They looked at the extensive network beneath them. Now curious, Zeke decided to reach out and touch a portion of the roots. When his fingers made contact, before his eyes flashed a memory.
He gasped and fell backwards.
“What! What’s wrong??” Hange rushed to Zeke’s side.
“It’s… Mr. Ksaver.”
Hange tilted her head to the side. “Mr. who?”
“I—“
Zeke paused, thinking. It was Mr. Ksaver’s memory of them playing catch, not his own. It wasn’t from his viewpoint so…
He followed the network and then touched a place a bit further down. He watched a memory, and did the same, touching yet another part farther down the line.
“Hange…”
She looked at him earnestly.
“I think… these are beast titan memories right here. I think, they may be lifetime memories of shifters….”
Hange’s jaw dropped. Zeke paused—one more to confirm his suspicions.
He reached, but stopped. He decided to take Hange’s hand.
“Let’s look together, okay?”
Both of them reached their hands towards the farthest end of the root network. “This would theoretically be your body’s most recent memory,” Zeke announced, raising an eyebrow at Hange.
Hange nodded back at him, ready to see.
Together, they touched the root end—they saw Hange’s body laying completely still and unconscious on an infirmary bed. Levi was there, asleep while holding her hand with his head lying on the bed next to her, an empty pastry box sitting on the table next to him, Mikasa sitting nearby, finishing paperwork in the dim lamp light.
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beliefscontagious · 4 years ago
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Water Ghoul Identification Guide
i get more into detail as we get further down the line of the seven water ghouls we’ve had so far since there isn’t much info on the older ones. putting this under a cut bc it’s gonna be pretty long
Water #1:
era 1, 2010-2011
he wears a chain as a belt bc he’s an edge lord and we love him for that <3
just a dude, nothing much to say. there aren’t many photos of him unfortunately
in the server i’m in where we love and appreciate water ghouls, we let him keep the original name water
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Water #2:
era 1 and 2, 2011-2013
he’s a little harder to tell apart from water #3. if his eyes are completely black and/or if he’s wearing a huge ring on his pinky, it’s this guy
but he isn’t always wearing the blackout lenses or ring so checking the date the picture was taken helps
moony ( @melioraz​ ) named him lake!
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Water #3
era 2, 2013-2014
he used to be called old water, he’s the one that uh. does that thing. with his bass. you know
moony named him river!
(i’d say i hope the gif works but do i really?)
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Water #4
era 3, 2015-16
he’s the new water ghoul to river’s old water ghoul
very sweet ghoul
shorter than everyone but small earth, he’s around 5′5. he’s a very sweet ghoul, doesn’t like crowdsurfers, doesn’t look like he’s paying attention sometimes but it’s okay
i named him delta bc delta is the fourth letter in the greek alphabet and he’s the fourth water ghoul, it matches alpha and omega’s names, plus a delta is a water structure so it’s just a good name all around
he played bass from 2015 to summer 2016, covered for alpha in fall 2015 and for omega in early 2016, then he became rhythm guitarist in fall 2016 after omega left (he’s very skilled)
he was also called aether in fall 2016, before we even met era 3/4 aether
since he was officially the bassist and rhythm guitarist, i headcanon that he’s a water/quintessence ghoul
he and alpha first started that headbutting/ending with a kiss thing during the solo in year zero
he’s my favorite ngl, i could go on about him forever!
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Water #5
era 3, 2016
everyone knows her, she performed in fall 2016 with air, small earth, alpha, and delta
i think this is when people actually started naming the water ghouls, her name is mist
a lot of people confuse her with dewdrop but she’s smaller (5′1-5′2 vs 5′8), doesn’t stomp, her nails are usually painted, she has a tattoo on one finger and a ring on the other, her bass looks huge on her, and also she has boobs
you can also check the date the photo or video was taken, she was only around for 2016, dewdrop first showed up in 2017
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Water #6
era 3, 2017
everyone also knows him, he stomps, he headbangs, but he’s also very sweet to the other ghouls and likes to cuddle up against them on stage
he’s not as short as everyone acts like he is, he’s around 5′8, or about as tall as papa is (meaning he’s taller than both mist and delta!)
first named dewdrop when he arrived in 2017, he went on to become lead guitarist in era 4. a good amount of people (including me) headcanon him as being a water/fire ghoul. i use ember as a second name to refer to him in era 4
most of the era 3 ghouls wear long sleeves under their cassocks, but dewdrop does so in both era 3 and 4
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Water #7
era 4, 2018-2020 (as of 2020)
he fell on stage a few times so he was named rain pretty early on
it’s not hard to differentiate him from other water ghouls bc of his costume and mask
some people think he’s short for some reason? he’s around 6 feet tall, possibly a little taller than aether
when he isn’t holding his bass, i pick him out from other era 4 ghouls by his mannerisms. he holds his hands in front of himself and tends to stay off to the side. he didn’t start taking off his jacket on stage until about 2019, he has a tattoo on his wrist, and he later starts wearing two rings on his right hand
he lifts one leg like a flamingo sometimes, it’s really cute
he used to be shy but he’s much more confident on stage now, i’m very happy for him!
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to conclude, my emotions towards all of the water ghouls is: i care they :’^) i really do, and i wish more people did too! they’re all so fun and good in their own ways but delta will always be my favorite
that’s it, if y’all have any questions my ask box is open! also i draw, my tag is #my art, it’s been a lot of delta lately
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prettywordsyouleft · 4 years ago
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The Cowboy - Part 9
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Summary: Leaving the city for a rural area called Blayne seemed simple enough. Your task was to convince the people to agree with selling their land for a resort redevelopment. But once there, you soon realise that your city ways are entirely different to theirs. Winning their trust was going to take some effort, and when you start to fall for a local cowboy, you wonder if you really needed Blayne more than the city life after all.
Pairing: Jung Jaehyun x female reader
Genre: cowboy au / drama / romance / if you squint there’s some enemies to lovers up in here.
Warnings: Jung Jaehyun is a cowboy, need I say more? (a bit of angst and drama, and it sometimes might feel like you’re reading a Nicolas Sparks book, so I’m told lol)
Word count: 2332
This series will be updated every Thursday and Friday.
Preview | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10
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“Just one more,” you murmured, pressing your lips into Jaehyun’s before he could object.
He didn’t hesitate to kiss you back, chuckling softly when he separated. “You’ll have me late if you keep this up.”
“It’s not even light out yet,” you complained groggily, your hands blindly searching for a place to anchor onto.
“That’s the point. I need to get home, so I’m back in time to start the day when dawn arrives,” he reminded, reaching for those travelling hands and taking hold of them.
Your eyes had since adjusted to the dim lighting in the bedroom, and you noticed the embers from last night hadn’t yet been put out within Jaehyun’s gaze. You stoked the fire a little more, shifting your leg to nudge his.
Jaehyun groaned. “You’re tempting fate, Y/N.”
“I’m attempting something,” you mentioned demurely and shook your hands that Jaehyun still held.
“Not even my Mum has made me turn up on that yard late, I’ll have you know. I can’t be having you ruin my good reputation.”
You pouted, but nodded the further your slumber rolled away and your mind became alert. Unhooking your leg from his, you sighed. “Your career is important. Go be the best cowboy you can be.”
“You’re so cute, you know that?” he breathed, grinning from your supportive statement.
“I aim to be everything you need,” you announced and Jaehyun, who had pulled himself to the side of the bed and reached for his jeans, halted his movement, glancing over his shoulder in thought at you. You reached for your hair, assuming he was taking in your abominable morning state. “What? Do I look ugly?”
“No. You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever laid my eyes upon.”
“You better go before my heart starts ruling over this head of mine and I take back about being supportive of your needs and aim to satisfy mine,” you confessed, and Jaehyun shook his head, discarding his attempt to leave and kicked his pants off.
Crawling back to you, he gathered you up in his arms, a giggle leaving you when his hands brushed along your sensitive sides. Once fully captured within his arms, he kissed you passionately.
“Even if I’m late, you’re well worth putting in the extra effort this morning with.”
After Jaehyun had gone, with a final kiss exchanged at your front door and a warning about not answering the door looking like that to anyone but him, you headed back to your bed, nestling in under the warm covers in just one of Jaehyun’s t-shirts.
You were extremely happy right now.
And had been for the past month too. Everything was working well. You woke up most mornings feeling warm and appreciated, kissing Jaehyun off to work before eventually getting up and starting your own. You so far had acquired two signatures of landowners in Blayne over your proposal for redevelopment and was certain you’d have three more by mid next week.
You had chosen to go this path first before confronting Mr Jung with your proposition. Word travelled all too easily in these parts for you to rely on what was spoken was kept confidential. Part of you hoped for this to happen. If you got enough people talking about the redevelopment positively, you believed that would shape the head of the town’s opinion too.
It was a gamble, though, and the longer you spent racking up other names and parts of the land as opposed to the one Pierce instructed you to get meant you would be running out of time to convince Jaehyun’s father if he initially rejected your proposal.
You had confidence in your decision.
And that confidence clearly shone in other ways now too. “You know, I haven’t seen you this dressed down since you came to Blayne, Y/N.”
Glancing up at May as you stopped in for lunch with Reg, one of the landowners you were meeting with, you laughed lightly. “I’ll take it as a compliment.”
“You finally look like one of us, is what she means,” Dorothy, from the table over, chimed and you grinned at her.
“Do I? I wonder how I managed that, being a city-slicker and all.”
“I don’t think it’s about how, but rather whom,” May concluded, and you bit your bottom lip, trying not to smile with the image of Jaehyun surfacing in your mind.
“We had it pegged that it’d be Avery,” Reg chortled, and you spluttered on the water you had taken in, looking up and apologising profusely. The older man held out his hand to May. “Well, it’s not him. Pay up.”
“Not my boy? Surely it’s him that has you enjoying Blayne. Out of us all, he’s the most understanding to newcomers.”
“Are you making bets on my relationship status?” you asked, and the patrons of the diner all chuckled in one way or another. “Well, I’m sorry May, but I’m not dating Avery.”
“You didn’t deny dating someone else,” Josie, the only waitress, piped up and there was immediate silence as everyone stared at you.
“I’m dating Blayne,” you answered cheekily, and they all groaned with protest. “What? Call me a sucker for what I’m trying to do out here, but this place has changed me.”
You left out the part about a certain cowboy that had as well.
Word travelled too fast around this place.
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“Avery is disappointed, you know,” Jaehyun mentioned when he stepped through the front door of your home later that evening. You glanced up at his arrival, dropping your laptop onto the couch and moved into Jaehyun’s waiting embrace.
After kissing Jaehyun in greeting, you smirked. “Word sure doesn’t struggle to get around here yet mobile data does.”
“You completely ruled my cousin off your it-list. The elders are scrambling about trying to figure who’s left to catch your fancy.”
“Have they suggested you at all?”
Jaehyun grinned and shook his head. “Not Jung’s boy.”
“Because you’re so exclusive.”
“I’m destined to marry a Blayne Belle, apparently.”
“So you’re either going to wait another six years until Melody is legal or pick up Josie? I mean, she looks great for forty.”
“Don’t!” Jaehyun exclaimed, encircling your waist with his palms. They felt hot against your barely covered skin. “Where are your clothes by the way?”
“I’m used to the summer weather being removed by air conditioning in my apartment,” you admitted, gesturing to your singlet and shorts with a sly smile. “And this is more than what I had on when you last saw me.”
“Wicked woman,” he stated and went over to a panel on the wall.
You followed Jaehyun and pointed at it. “I tried to turn it on, but it’s ancient and doesn’t have any instructions.”
“You’d be lost without your damn instructions, wouldn’t you?” he teased, and you rolled your eyes, peering around him to inspect his efforts.
“Do you know where the toolbox is in the truck?” he soon asked, and you nodded. “Can you get it for me?”
“Why, are you going to be Mr Handyman instead of Mr Cowboy to me now? Perhaps Avery might be a better option after all.”
“Har-har. If you want to learn how hellish this summer is going to get in the countryside when the heatwave hits next week then-”
“Toolbox. Onto it!” you cried, dashing outside into the humid evening and over to Jaehyun’s truck. After spotting it nestled just behind the passenger seat, you went to reach for it but stopped, your eyes travelling to the papers sitting on the chair you had just leaned over.
Picking them up, you read the contents and returned inside with the toolbox in a daze. “Thanks, Miss City. I’ll have you feeling cool in no time.”
“Were you going to tell me about the rodeo tour?” you queried in a small voice a moment later, and Jaehyun stopped looking through the box for what he needed and up at you.
He shot you one of his lopsided smiles, though his eyes were hesitant. “You’re concerned already? The rodeo season is basically over for this year, don’t worry.”
“I know. This is for next season, but the qualifiers are tomorrow.”
“I was planning on telling you tonight.” Standing back up and wiping his hands on his jeans, Jaehyun gauged your expression. “You know I do them from time to time. Old Joey from the county over popped by and offered me a horse to ride. It’s a real nice horse, gave him a test-”
“What about Blaze? What will he think?” you cut in and Jaehyun frowned. “He’s your riding horse.”
“He’s a work horse. And horses don’t really get offended if you ride another. You’re being weird about this.”
“I’m just confused. This morning I woke up thinking this weekend we’ll be going to the farmer’s market and maybe ride over to the lake and take a swim or something. Now I’m going to be on the sidelines of some rodeo? What do they call them? Rodeo Bunnies? Don’t expect me to become one.”
Jaehyun laughed heartily, scooping you up into his arms in a warm embrace. “You’re coming?”
“Of course. I have to.”
“Why?”
“Why are you asking why? I’m supportive of your endeavours,” you answered, puzzled by the smile spreading Jaehyun’s lips out further. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Like a girlfriend would support me?”
“Girlfriend?” you echoed and let out an awkward laugh.
“Is it more for you now, Miss City? A whole month of you and me having this secret rendezvous and you might be feeling something deeper than my skin for me, huh?”
“Do-don’t you have to fix the air-con? It’s hot in here.”
“Stifling.”
“And if you’re going to some rodeo thing, don’t we need to sleep early or something?”
“Are you flustered, Y/N? You’re awfully good at not answering my question.”
“What question was that now?” you diverted, slipping out from under his strong arms and over to the toolbox. “Which one do you need?”
“All of you. That’s all I need,” Jaehyun confirmed, coming back to your side, kissing the top of your head before taking the tool you held in your left hand and got to work.
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You arrived on the Jung’s property around six the following morning, travelling in your car separately. Whilst June was aware of your ruse, and no doubt Avery had strong suspicions, Jaehyun had asked to keep your relationship on the low for now. At first, you had agreed. You had a job to complete and complicating that with personal affections could ruin your credibility.
Still, it was hard to keep your hands off of Jaehyun when he came out from his room above the stables. “Wow, you know I’ve been calling you a cowboy from day one because of the hat and boots but I didn’t realise just how much this shirt was missing from the picture until now.”
Jaehyun glanced at his rodeo shirt, tassels and all, before shooting you an embarrassed smile. “Get a real good look at it today, Miss City. I don’t dress up like this often.”
“Another reason why he’s single, I’m sure,” his father gruffly mentioned, patting his son on the shoulder. You realised the older man was proud for some reason. All this time, you assumed he only cared for Jaehyun by the level of work he did around the farm.
Perhaps that was because Jaehyun was adamant that was all he cared about. However, as you watched the interaction fondly, you realised the man had a lot of love for his son. Jaehyun mentioned he had been on the sure-fire track to going pro as a teen on the rodeo circuit last night. You wondered if Mr Jung wanted that for him and felt guilty for needing him to help on the farm.
Either way, it warmed your heart to see a nervous Jaehyun, and his father equally acting out of character for once.
“Don’t you go worrying about marriage for our son today,” June fussed, straightening out Jaehyun’s collar as you had been itching to do. She smiled up at him. “Come home in one piece.”
“Of course, he will. We can’t be having Y/N’s first rodeo dashed with any hospital visits,” Avery commented, arriving at your side and slinging an arm over your shoulder. “You and I need to do some talking about the earful I got from my mother last night.”
You giggled awkwardly. “I’m sorry about that.”
“You’ll be sorry when they start trying to hook you up with all the eligible men in Blayne. Dorothy is convinced you’d suit her boy, Jacob.”
Jaehyun snorted. “Y/N’s a little too high maintenance for Jacob.”
“Am I now?” you retorted, waving off Jaehyun’s parents who were staying behind to look after the farm. Hopping into the cab of Jaehyun’s truck and looking at Avery who got in after you, you scoffed loudly. “If I was too much high maintenance, I’d recommend we take my vehicle over this one. At least, I’d be convinced we’d get there on time, for one.”
Jaehyun glared at Avery’s somewhat stifled snort before patting the steering wheel of the truck. “Don’t you worry. This old beauty of mine will get us there with ease. It’s you we have to concern ourselves over.”
“Me?” you wondered, and Avery nodded. “Why me?”
“Rodeos are a whole other world, Y/N. I bet you won’t be ready for what’s about to happen.”
“It’s people riding horses and taking on cows or something with ropes. I’ve seen it on TV,” you assured the cousins, who looked at one another with loose grins forming.
“She’s not ready for this.”
“Nope. Not a chance.”
“Would you two just shut up, and Jaehyun, start driving. Watch me prove how-”
“Adaptable you are,” both boys chimed, and you rolled your eyes, trying not to smile as Jaehyun finally threw the truck into reverse and headed down the driveway towards your first rodeo.
_________________
Part 10
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fiveisnumber1 · 4 years ago
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Timeless - Five Hargreeves x Reader Side Story
I’m in the process of working on the next part of the main story of Timeless but I decided to write this short little side story so I hope y’all enjoy!
Main story parts:
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28
_________________________
The Tattoo - “A Family Reunion” Side Story
January 17th, 2014:
After a long day at school, Diego had come to pick you up. Holding the straps of your backpack you walked towards his car. Although the Umbrella Academy had pretty much faded out of the collective thoughts of the public, Diego still tried to keep a low profile for you. You never knew if there were any die-hard fans around so it was better to be safe than sorry. Getting into the passenger seat Diego happily ruffles your hair saying,
“Hey kiddo, you made it to Friday. Congrats on finishing your second school week.”
“Thanks.” You replied softly
It had been hard starting school again. You had been there for only ten days in total and it was completely different from what you knew. Public school was nothing like the private school your parents used to send you to. It was loud and rambunctious and there was never a quiet moment. It was good because you were never alone with your thoughts but the semi-structured environment wasn’t something you were equipped for. And on top of it, you were surrounded by kids your age but they weren’t your friends. You didn’t have friends anymore. As Diego drove away from the school you looked out the window watching the other kids pass by as they got on busses or into their family’s cars. Turning back to sit straight Diego asks,
“Anything interesting happen today?” 
“I pulled a knife on a kid at lunch.” You reply nonchalantly
“I’m not saying you were wrong. But why?” Diego asks
“He had a bow and arrow on him and startled me.” you responded
You hadn’t expected anyone to come up to you during lunch. You typically minded your own business and sat alone. Well, not completely alone. You sat at the same table as a girl from your music class. You knew she played the viola but other than that was quiet and reserved. You two never really talked but every once in a while you’d glance at each other. The kid that approached you though was more outgoing and made his presence known. He was in your gym class and always seen with a taller blond boy. You didn’t know why he had decided to come over to you but nevertheless, he did and even after you had pulled a knife on him he decided to sit down across from you and start talking. You didn’t really respond but you did listen to him. He kind of reminded you of Diego but maybe this would be just a one-off experience. 
Diego had thought about your response for just a quick second before responding,
“That’s reasonable. I’m proud of you for protecting yourself.”
“He didn’t seem like too much of a threat but okay.” you stated
Diego let out a small laugh. Of course, you wouldn’t see some 13-year old with a bow as a threat. Diego continued to drive as you told him about your classes and what you were studying. He listened happily as you discussed the experiments you were doing in Science class and how you were writing poetry in English. The two of you soon came to a stop as you arrived at the boxing club you were both a part of. On Friday’s you would come along with him before going back to the academy the next day. Entering the building you sat down on a nearby chair and started working on your homework as Diego trained with another member. Typically, he would work with you but because he had a match coming up soon he needed to focus on himself. 
Every once in a while though you would go up to the side of the ring and ask for help with a part of your homework. Sometimes you actually needed help but other times you just enjoyed the way your brother’s eyes lit up when you told him you needed him and the proud look on his face when you finally solved the problem. When you had finished your homework you would drag the chair to the side of the ring to watch your brother spar. Swinging your feet back and forth as you sat on the chair you tried to study the practice fight so you could improve your own fighting skills. During the fight though you would catch quick glimpses of Diego’s wrist and the Umbrella Academy tattoo that resided on it. You hated the sight. It was as if Reginald permanently branded him, connecting him to something he never decided to be a part of in the first place. It was a marking that would never go away just like the childhood he was robbed of as part of the Umbrella Academy.
The hours passed and soon it was time to close the club down for the day. Most other club members left and Diego grabbed the mop and bucket from the corner to start cleaning. Cleaning up the club was his livelihood. Al, the owner, was kind enough to let him turn the boiler room into a bedroom and give him a decent wage in exchange for training people during the day and cleaning up at night. You were always so proud of him. Your brother worked hard, harder than anyone else you knew. Even during his time in the Umbrella Academy he always pushed himself to do his best and then some. You admired it and wanted to work just as hard as he did. 
As he cleaned, you tried to help him though. Using your powers you did your best to liquefy the dried sweat and blood so it would be easier to clean. By the time he had finished, it was late and you had grown tired. Diego puts the mop and bucket away before coming over to you and saying,
“I think it’s time you get to sleep.” 
You nodded your head and let out a yawn standing up so you could head to the boiler room that Diego called home. Placing a hand on your back Diego guided you there. You rubbed your eyes before climbing into the bed. Diego tucked you in nicely before sitting on the edge of the bed and stroking your hair until you fell asleep. Once he knew you were completely asleep he carefully got up and went over to a chair across the room. He sat and watched you for a while to make sure you were okay but soon enough he drifted off too.
You started to toss and turn in your sleep. A chill creeping into your bones as images of snow rushed into your mind. The voices of your parents and friends surrounding you. Frantically you look around for them and see silhouettes. Familiar figures extending their hands as they call our your name, beckoning you to them. You rush towards the figures but the snow starts to pick up. The figures become obscured. You run around calling out their names but no one responds. From behind you, you hear the sound of snow crunching as if someone was running away. You turn around from the direction your family and friends were and follow the footsteps in the snow. Up ahead you see a figure that grows clearer the closer you get. 
“Five.”
You pushed yourself to run harder. To try and catch him. When you feel you’re close enough you extend your hand to grab his jacket but just as you do he vanishes. You trip and fall to the ground.
“No!” You called out as you sat up straight in bed.
Your body shook as tears started to prick your eyes. You looked around only to see the boiler room and Diego sitting on his chair off to the side. No snow, no figures, no Five. You took a few breaths before quietly getting up from the bed and heading over towards Diego. Carefully, you shake his arm quietly calling,
“Eggo. Eggoooo.”
Diego wakes up startled but soon calms down when he sees you there. He can see the tears building up in your eyes glisten from the light of the lamp. He always left the lamp on because he thought it would ease the nightmares but they still seemed to happen.
“Bad dream?” He questioned softly
You nodded your head in response. Diego opened his arms allowing you to sit in his lap before he held you close. You were so small and you didn’t deserve all this pain you were going through. He knew from his own experience of how difficult it was to be young and struggling with the pain of traumatic events. Tears slipped from your eyes as you dealt with the fallout of another nightmare. Diego slowly rocked you as he held you, the same way mom did for him when he was still small. When your vision cleared slightly you could see the image of the tattoo on Diego’s wrist. You reached out and using your pointer finger you began to trace the image over and over. Diego noticed what you were doing and questioned,
“Princess, why do you keep tracing that?”
You looked away from the tattoo and up at your older brother.
“If I trace it enough times maybe I can erase it away.” you explain quietly
“Unfortunately, that’s not how it works.” Diego responds
“But heat breaks down ink, if I can just vibrate the molecules enough I can make it go away. I know I can.” You elaborate 
“I’ve come to terms with it you don’t need to make it go away.” Diego softly replies
He hadn’t come to terms with it though. It was an awful reminder of the despicable man who he called his father. The same one whose roof you were now living under. Diego wished that he made more money, that he had a place where he could keep you safe from that man, but he didn’t. He knew you were fiercely independent and smart, but so was Five and their dad still did enough damage to make him run away through time. Five was the whole reason you were even in this mess. Diego wanted to seem strong for you though so he kept his feelings to himself on the matter. He might not have come to terms with it but you were the focus now, his focus, and his residual problems matter much less than making sure you would be okay.
“The one day I wasn’t able to be there...I went with my dad to bring your child to work day and yours did this.” You stated as you continued to look at the marking
It’s true. He did pick the one day where you were busy. You had talked all the week before about bring your child to work day and how it worked. You had gone every year with him since you were 3. He and his siblings were all excited to hear what it was like when you visited the next day but that excitement was ruined by the permanent scar they all received. 
Diego remembered that day in vivid detail. They were all summoned to the parlor and before they knew it the carnage began. Klaus got his tattoo first as punishment for being intoxicated. It was a vicious punishment for such a minor action. Allison went next and cried the whole time. When she finished Klaus held her as she continued to spill tears. Then it was his turn. The needle scared him but he put on a tough face to show that he had the mental fortitude to be a leader. He didn’t even accept comfort from his own mother. Luther and Ben went next and then Five was last. Five had looked at the front door the whole time, probably hoping you would show up unannounced and stop it before he was marked. It didn’t happen. All of them knew that their father chose this day on purpose. It was cruel. Diego looked off in the distance as the memories replayed in his head. He still tried to cheer up the conversation though by lightly joking,
“If he did it on a day you were around you would’ve burned the house down.” 
His joking didn’t work though as you sadly followed up,
“All of you hid it from me. Why?”
“We all knew you’d feel exactly like this, like it was your fault. We made a pact not to say anything because it would hurt your feelings and I’m sure you could guess who led the efforts on that idea.” Diego responded honestly
You nodded your head. Of course, he didn’t want to hurt your feelings.
“I always felt like you knew, but you never said anything so I wasn’t sure. How did you find out?” Diego added
“Vanya.” You respond with a yawn
“Of course it was Vanya.” Diego mumbles
You could feel yourself growing tired again. Your eyelids started to droop as you explained,
“She had drawn the image in black marker on her wrist and when I asked why she told me. He didn’t say anything until I brought it up.”
You didn’t like referring to Five by his name. You barely mentioned him because the wound of his loss was still too much. Diego didn’t understand how someone who cared for you so much could cut you so deeply. It didn’t make sense, but he couldn’t change the past.
“I could’ve protected you all...” You mumbled before falling back asleep
“It wasn’t your job to protect us.” Diego quietly replied
He held your small sleeping figure closer to him and rocked you once more.
“But it’s my job to protect you.”
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johnkrrasinski · 4 years ago
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So It Goes... 
full masterlist
Pairings: Rock star/Bassist!Bucky Barnes x female!reader (AU)
Word count: 7,149 
Warning: fluff, SMUT! but mostly just me falling in love with bucky, really.
Summary: natasha romanoff aka your annoying roommate coerced you into the howling commando’s live performance at a divebar near your dorm. little did you know, it was going to lead you to the man of your dreams aka the charming rock star boy/bassist, james buchanan barnes.
a/n: this one’s written for @sourpatchkidsandacokecan​‘s “Little Darlin’s Mysteru AU” challenge. i chose band/rockstar au. here’s another love letter to bucky barnes because i love that man with my entire heart and every fic that i write about him is basically just me expressing my deep affection for this man. hope you guys enjoy this one cause i certainly do! also, rock star/boy band bucky is such a concept omg i’m in love
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You laid in your twin-sized bed as you heard the chirping sounds of the birds outside of your window. They were singing cheerily as if they knew what you were feeling and they were celebrating with you. It felt like you were in a Disney movie that you used to obsess over as a kid, where you are the lovestruck princess because you just met a handsome prince who swept you off your feet at first sight.
The birds outside of your window are your animal pals who swoon over you swooning and they spontaneously harmonize and dance to this newfound joy. You couldn’t resist the smile taking over your face. It was too early for you to be awake on a Saturday morning. You were always up by 10 AM. No more, no less. But it was currently 8.45 AM and you still had at least one more hour to get up and be productive.
But not today. Today, you were going to welcome this exhilarating sensation in your bones, and you were going to savour every second of it. Because you couldn’t shake away those baby blue eyes and that suave, boyish charm. The way, they electrified you by first glance and made you tremble when those pupils dilated. You could still feel the way his soft, plump lips hypnotized you last night. And the raunchy way he held you at the bar.
Even when all was said and done, he found a way to haunt you in your dreams.
And you didn’t mind one bit.
-
You were currently in the middle of a crisis due to your upcoming final week. If there’s any word to describe you as a college student, it would be ambitious. The idea of failing or getting less than B+ makes you go ballistic. You were an active student. You joined multiple organizations that expanded your social life. You got along with mostly everyone in your classes and you had your professors’ respect too for your excellent grades and polite manners.
But your lack of dating life irked no one else more than your roommate, Natasha. You loved Natasha with your entire heart, really. She was like a sister to you. You were an only child so you cherished her older sister role in your life. She was, in fact, several months older than you and she always protected you like her own. Starting from the asshole that broke your heart in high school, despite only knowing him through your story, to incessantly pushing you to stop being such a nerd and have more fun.
Natasha was the kind of woman you don’t wanna mess with. She was loyal, brave and quick-witted. She knows how to keep her GPA high, whilst also maintaining a fun social life. She managed to do it all so effortlessly. 
“C’mon, y/n! Just one night! You need to let loose and release all tension on your shoulders, baby. It’s good for your brain before finals start!”
“Noooo, Nat. Rock bands are not my thing and I’d have a higher chance of acing the tests if I study now, okay? Just go. Have fun without me and tell me how it goes.”
“But my boyfriend’s performing, y/n. And I want you to meet him! I promise they are really good. Even if you're not into the music, you can still go for the drinks, right? Also, they’ve got other cute members available so, you might find your own rock band boyfriend too if you go.” She winked. Her smirk was menacing.
“Ugh, I’m not interested in finding a boyfriend, Nat.”
“I know, but wouldn’t hurt if you do, right? Then we can go on double dates and have them write songs about us. Oh God, it’s going to be awesome.”
“Whoa, slow down. I haven’t even learned their names, yet and we are already discussing double dates?”
“Alright, let’s just start with putting on your sexy clothes and meet them yourself. Then we can move onto picking one gorgeous beast for you.”
“What makes you even think that they’d be interested in me?”
“Don’t be ridiculous, y/n. Have you never owned a mirror? You are a total babe. You just need to get yourself more action.”
“Ugh, I don’t know, Nat…”
“You are going. And I’m not leaving until you get up and put on something cool. I have patience, baby and I’m going to annoy you all night if you stay. What do you prefer? Going out and have fun and meet some cute boys or me annoying you all night so you can’t study productively.” She glared at you. Her tone indicated that there was no compromise.
“Alright, I’m going. But that’s only because I wanna meet your boyfriend, alright? Not because I wanna find a boyfriend or whatever stupid shit you’re thinking.”
“Yay!” She jumped in excitement. Her face was content with joy and satisfaction from succeeding in persuading you. “Alright, let’s dig through your clothes.” She started rummaging your shared closet and observed meticulously each one of your outfits. “Hmm… Let’s try this one!” She picked up a strapless black sequin dress that you hadn’t worn in forever. You didn’t even remember packing it up in your baggage and brought it with you to your dorm.
You began stripping yourself out of your oversized hoodie and high-waisted shorts. You didn’t feel embarrassed changing in front of Natasha, you had seen each other naked many times. You were roommates after all and sometimes, you just had to be comfortable with the fact that you had private body parts underneath and within the course of four years, eventually, you had to get used to flashing one another at some point.  
You put it on as you started to feel a little uncomfortable. You weren’t used to wearing skimpy dresses. Already wearing it for less than three minutes, you were constantly lifting the hem of the dress to prevent it from exposing your boobs and revealing your inner thighs. And the material felt itchy on your skin too. “Nat, I’m not sure about this. Let’s just wear a leather jacket and jeans.”
“Nonsense! You look bomb! Give your leather jacket and jeans a break, alright? Okay, turn around so I can see your behind.”
You twirled as she said, restlessly.
Tonight was going to be a longspun night…
-  
The air felt crisp against your skin, as the breeze swept through your freshly curled hair, causing a few strands shading your sight. You struggled to walk steadily in your 7-inch heels that belonged to Natasha because you didn’t have a pair of your own. You were cool with wearing ankle boots pairing them with a sparkly dress. But Natasha didn’t think it was a cute look.
“What? Boots and dresses don’t go along, honey. Oh my, you need a serious makeover!” She was derailed.
You eventually settled with a silk red dress with a seductively low cleavage on the front, exposing the globes of your breasts. You were already as uncomfortable as it is, this dress didn’t make it any easier to act normal.
So you had to endure walking in these deadly shoes of torture, whilst clad in nothing but a scanty material with makeup painting your entire face. Great. What had you gotten yourself into? Damn you, Natasha.
You and Nat were walking arm in arm to the bar where “The Howling Commandos” were performing. That’s the name of the band that Natasha’s boyfriend was in. They have been a group for 5 years now, they had been doing this since they were in high school. Clint and the rest of the members were several years older than you and Nat. As soon as they graduated, they decided that they wanted to keep making music rather than working mundane, dead-end jobs.
Yep, Natasha told you that much.
Clint and Nat had been dating for two years now. They rarely saw each other due to the band’s packed schedule. Although, they would FaceTime each other every night, talking about each other’s days. You heard it all, from their most disgustingly adorable flirtations, to the most inappropriate, not so PG-13 confession.
They would literally pretend to smooch one another through the screen when you were doing your homework or when you had your nose deep in a book. You’d try to cover your ears by putting on your earbuds and turning up the volume so you could give them privacy but also, you didn’t wanna hear them talking about what they wanted to do to each other if both of them were here.
You knew Clint well enough to not feel like you were meeting a complete stranger. Natasha would often tell you to say hi to him and she had told you a lot of wonderful things to Clint. Clint would often talk about the band too on the phone, how someone called “Bucky” would piss him off by stealing his leftover sandwich. Or someone called “Sam” would often interrupt their chat by reminding him that it was soundcheck time.  
“I gotta go, babe. Sammy’s not gonna stop yelling.”
“Aw, okay, tell the boys I say hi! Love you.”
“Love you too, baby.”
It’s like a daily podcast for you every night.
The dive bar where The Howling Commandos were performing thankfully wasn’t that far from your dorm. Natasha was super thrilled when Clint told them that they were going to perform here. They were finally able to see each other after a while, and because this was going to be their last gig until they come back with a new album, he said he was going to stay and spend some time with Nat.
You were happy for both of them. You’d never say it out loud but, a part of you was secretly jealous of their love. They managed to maintain such a fun, loving, and healthy relationship despite the distance and differences. Natasha once told you that she was never one to settle with a man for too long but, Clint changed the game for her. You smiled at the thought. They were genuinely in love. If you were to find yourself a boyfriend, you wanted the type of love that they had.
But not tonight. You were okay with being single. Just because a part of you wanted what Clint & Nat had, doesn’t mean that you actually need it or you’d die. You were too much of a goal-oriented person to be chasing over something that should come naturally. You had grown so comfortable in being alone, that you stopped desiring love so much. It wasn’t getting you anywhere. So you lived your life, being grateful for your friends and family. You invested your time in your education and passion. You were content.
When you arrived at the bar, the room was full with a crowd. You walked in with Natasha trying to make a space for yourself so you could walk through them. You could barely anything else due to the number of bodies blocking your view. Natasha held your hand as she took the lead and fought through the crowd to get to the front, where she could get the best view.
There was a blonde-haired woman standing on the front, so close to where the band were going to play. When Natasha slightly grazed her whilst trying to stand next to her, she didn’t look the slightest bit happy. She glared at Natasha as Natasha noticed. She glared back at her.
“Excuse me, there’s more space in the back, maybe you can stand there instead of cutting through the line.”
“Excuse you, miss. I’m dating the band’s drummer, so I can stand wherever I want, thank you very much. If you don’t like that, then the exit is right there.” She pointed to the door of where we walked in from.
The blonde woman rolled her eyes as she folded her arms against her chest. After you stared at her reaction, you realized that you actually know her. She was in the same social science class with you. You had never really talked to her because she often sat in the back and immediately left after the class was done, but you remembered her name. Her name was Dottie Underwood. Your classmates called her Dot. The ones that she liked anyway.
You decided to stay quiet and let it pass. It’s not like she even recognized you even if you start a chat with her. You don’t think it was a good idea either since she and Nat literally just snarked at each other. You directed your sight to the stage and waited for the famous Howling Commandos to appear.
One of the spotlights turned and highlighted a man walking on stage before he talked into the microphone at the centre. “And now, ladies and gentlemen, a group of brilliant lads, that make all the ladies go feral wherever they go, and their showstopping music are going to make us sing and jump tonight. Please welcome, The Howling Commandos!”
The crowd roared with cheers, the sounds of their enthusiasm filled the atmosphere. Their claps were jovially in sync as four, drop-dead gorgeous young men stepped into the stage as their presence shifted the energy in the room.
The first one was a blonde-haired with breathtaking bone structure, forming a ridiculously handsome face. His hair shone under the spotlight like the sun amidst the clear sky. He had an amiable demeanour about him. His smile was gentle and welcoming. He waved to the crowd and stood directly behind the microphone.
The second one to walk in was a dark-skinned man with an undeniable charisma oozing out of him. He had a neatly trimmed beard that only added to his spicy appeal. His smile was radiant as he also waved the crowd. He stood on the left side of the stage, a couple of steps behind Steve who was apparently the lead singer.
The third one to walk in was Clint. He was everything Nat described him to be. Placid and nonchalant. His smile was amenable as he greeted the crowd. He walked directly to the background, where the drumset was placed. He sat down on the drummer’s chair as he picked up the sticks he was going to play with.
The last one to enter was a literal Disney prince coming to life. His prominent boyish charm completely bedazzled you. His blue eyes gleamed under the spotlight as they lingered on you for a second. He immediately shifted his gaze as he kept walking towards the right side of the stage, but you swore that when he caught you staring dumbfoundedly at him, you could see the flash of a quick smirk on his face.
He only nodded to the crowd as he confidently picked up the bass guitar that was previously placed on the floor and put on the leather straps around his neck. His eyes turned back to you as you found yourself still bluntly staring at him. Something about him just enchanted you. He had that boy-next-door charm about him but also, a bad boy persona that was irresistibly enticing.    
That flash of smirk that you saw earlier resurfaced and it was getting harder for you to pay attention to anyone or anything else in the room other than him. His gaze grew more intense as the noises of the crowd faded into the background. You were lost in this lethal game of eye contact until Natasha accidentally elbowed you by screaming her lungs out to respond to the lead singer’s introduction.
“Good evening, SHIELD’s Nest! How are we feeling tonight?” The lead singer vivified the crowd. They responded with a reassuring reaction. “I’m Steve Rogers and these are my buddies,” he turned his head to the left, as he started introducing the other band members.  “The handsome guy right there is Sam, and in the back, there’s Clint, our brilliant drummer boy and this ladies’ charmer right here is Bucky.” As he pointed to the magnetic man who had held your attention hostage since he first walked in.
“And we are The Howling Commandos.” He paused for a second before carrying on with his prelude. “Alright, so the first song that we’re going to play tonight is called ‘Rusted Love’. Enjoy.” Steve removed his mouth from behind the microphone and started cueing the band to play. “1,2…”
Sam and Bucky started strumming the first few notes as a few people cheered. Then Clint jumped in, flaunting his talent in mastering the drum with his sticks. The energy in the room felt more energized as people started moving a part of their bodies. Then Steve amazed the room with his sultry voice, singing the words that echoed through the Sound system of the bar.
“I’m a flying kite in a hurricane, you paralyzed me with your touch and your lips got me addicted…” Steve shut his eyes, relishing the rune. You had a feeling that those lyrics wouldn’t just stay lyrics tonight…
-
They played another four songs that night. The crowd danced, jumped and screamed the words to their song passionately. You, on the other hand, was probably the most tranquil person in the crowd. You didn’t really know much about the band, let alone their music. So when everyone was constantly pushing you because they were too lost in the moment, you eventually tried to get out of the crowd and sat on the bar instead. Natasha was also too lost in supporting her boyfriend, that she almost didn’t notice you leaving.
Through the vibration of the crowd and the music, you had to really lean in to get Natasha’s attention and to get her to hear you. “Nat! I’m gonna sit in the back and wait there. I’m a little thirsty.” She had a giant smile on her face due to the zest the band inflicted. “Okay!” She yelled back, then carried on with her foxy moves.
You struggled to walk through the crowd, trying to not step on anyone’s feet as you made your way to the barstool. What you didn’t notice was, Bucky’s disappointed on his face when he saw you walking out on him. He noticed that you weren’t exactly as thrilled as anyone else. Although, he noticed your stolen glances as you shied away from him when he stared back. He even tried to wink at you once but you immediately looked to the floor, hiding away your blush. He swore he saw the way your cheeks reddened. Not that he wasn’t used to getting that reaction anyway…
You exhaled a breath of relief as you finally broke out of the congested mass of people. You sat on the barstool as you ordered a glass of rum and you waited as the music still reverberated robustly in your ears. You sat there as you started looking through your Instagram. Nat’s icon was the first one to appear in the row and you clicked it to see what you were expecting. She recorded a video of the band, then zoomed in to Clint, as he was ardently drumming the beat.
She put on a heart eyes and fire emoji with the text; “that’s my man!”. The next one was her and you singing along to the second song they played that night. You were able to actually mouth the words after they played the last chorus and you were a quick learner, so you memorized the repeated words easily after the third time. You scrolled through your feed a few more minutes until your order finally arrived.
“Enjoy, miss.” The waiter winked at you. He was probably in his mid-20s, he had warm brown eyes and a sweet smile. His dark hair was slicked back as you stared a little longer than you should. He was obviously attractive, but, you didn’t say anything back to him. You just smiled back in a friendly manner and uttered silenced thanks.
After sitting by yourself for about a half and an hour, like all good things, the show must come to an end. Steve Rogers concluded the show with a final thank you and goodnight as the spotlight shut down, like the drapes closing over a theatrical show. The crowd clapped and some of them started leaving, while others immediately went to the bar to quench the thirst from screaming along to volatile rock music and jumping up and down, getting lost in the tune.
Natasha patted your back as she jumped on the empty chair next to you. Thank God, she was quick on her feet, otherwise, she wouldn’t have been able to get a seat. “Hey! God, I need a full shot of whiskey right now.”
“Yeah, go crazy.”
She scoffed. “Huh. As if that wasn’t crazy enough, back there.” She signalled the bartender to make an order. “So, what do you think? That was fun, right?” The cute bartender from earlier walked to her as he asked her what would she like to drink and she quickly replied.
“Yeah, they’re pretty good.”
“Pretty good? They’re damn talented. Especially the drummer back there. He totally killed it.”
“Yeah, okay, they are amazing. But you know their music isn’t my kind of music, so can’t say  I really enjoyed it that much.”
“Okay, but you must’ve at least enjoyed the view, right? Don’t think I didn’t catch you and bass boy making several eye contacts back there.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You took another sip of your glass to cover your embarrassment.
“Oh my God, you totally do! Look at you blushing!”
“I’m not!”
“Yes, you are! Admit it! You like Bucky, don’t you?” She playfully pushed you to tease you.
“Oh my God, shut up Nat! You’re causing a scene!” You tried to lower yourself, now that you’re able to speak in a normal volume.
“Nope, I won’t stop until you admit it. Don’t worry, y/n, Bucky’s always been a charmer, so I totally get your attraction.”
That caused a peculiar sickness in your chest. It’s not like you were falling in love with Bucky, no. You didn’t even know him enough to like him. He may be an eye-candy but if he’s really as “charming” as everyone is saying, then that means, he’s one of those dangerous fuckboys that you should avoid at all cost. Because that means, he’s probably only going to manipulate you into thinking that he really cares for you, when in reality, he only wanted to get in your pants. Nope, not gonna happen to you. You weren’t going to be a new notch in his belt.
“Well, then that means he is bad news and that gives me even more reason to feel anything but attraction toward him.”
“Oh, no, y/n, I don’t mean it like that. He’s really sweet, and he’s always been the most chill one in the group. Trust me, you’re gonna love him. Just, give him a chance first, alright? I’ve known him long enough to know that he’s into you.”
“Into me? Nat, he doesn’t even know my name.”
“He will.” She winked again, as she took a sip of her whiskey.
Not long after that, Clint appeared from behind, without Nat realizing. He surprised her by wrapping her waist from behind as he whispered into her ears; “how’s my best girl?” Nat was slightly stunned but as soon as she realized it was her boyfriend, her expression instantly turned into a joyful one. “Hi, baby!” They immediately smooched as she wrapped her arms around his neck while standing face to face now.
“Did you like the show?”
“I loved the show, you guys killed it as always. Oh, and by the way, this is y/n, my number one bestie and the best roommate anyone could ever ask for. Now you finally meet her in person!” Her excitement was genuine.
“Hi, y/n! Heard so many great things about you, but you probably can’t say the same, huh?”
“No, actually I can. Nat wouldn’t stop talking about you every night even when I’m blatantly ignoring her.” You joked.
“Well, is that right?” He looked at Nat to assess the truth on her face.
“Yep,” you carried on. “She would say you’re hot, funny and kind, and all these wonderful things. Including the ones that I’m not supposed to hear.”
They laughed. They kissed once more, as Clint stood next to her seat, ordering a drink for himself. Next to you, you could hear Nat saying, “oh, where are the boys? Are they not thirsty?”
“They’re just packing up, babe, they’re gonna join us in a few.”
“Good, ‘cause I think there’s someone y/n would like to meet.” She teasingly wiggled her eyebrows at you, as you sent her a murderous glare. Your lips silently mouthed, “what the fuck?” but Clint picked up her tone and he quickly got the message.
“Oooh, who is it? Is it Steve, Bucky, Sam? Just let me know which one you like and I’ll deliver them at your door tonight, y/n. They’re all single and ready to mingle anytime now.”
You laughed nervously. “No, no, no, no. Nat’s just saying shit.”
She turned her head to her boyfriend and shook it.  “No, I’m not. She and Bucky practically eye fucked on stage.”
You instantly slapped her arm, staring deadly into her eyes. “Ouch!” She put her hand on the spot that you struck, even though it wasn’t even that hard. Classic Nat. Dramatic as always.  “Nat, you can’t just–”
Before you even managed to finish your sentence, she darted her eyes to somewhere behind you as she pointed at whatever got her distracted. “Oh, here they are!” She smirked. She raised her eyebrows at you before she stood on her feet and hugged the anticipated men.
“Hey, guys! Killer show back there!” Nat started hugging Sam and he kissed her cheek, and then she moved onto Steve and the last one to join was Bucky. You muttered ‘shit’ to yourself as you pondered on how you should act. Should you act like nothing ever happened during the show between you two? Or were you going to address the elephant in the room, and just straight up flirt with him, now that he wasn’t being so closely watched anymore?
You didn’t know which would be the best option so you just took a big gulp and drank down the entire glass of Rum you had left. Maybe if you were less sober, you wouldn't excessively overthink. You weren’t even sure whether he was really staring at you or not. For all you knew, he could be staring at another beautiful girl in the crowd that was standing beside or behind you. And if you act impulsively now, this would be like that cheesy moment on Rom-Coms, where a girl waved back to the guy who she thought was waving at her but it turns out, he was actually waving at another girl who was coming from the same direction as her.
Nope, you weren’t going to be that girl.
So you just smiled and nodded along as Natasha introduced you to the rest of the boys. You didn’t want to be rude so you sat on your chair, facing them with an interested look, even though all you wanted to do was just shrink and leave this goddamn place.
“Hey guys, here’s my bomb-ass bestie slash roomie. Her name’s y/n! Isn’t she stunning?”
When Steve was about to offer his hand to you, Sam immediately inserted himself in front of you and Steve. “Well, hello, good-lookin’. Can I buy you a drink?” Sam, being the cool dude he was, he leaned back against the bar counter on his elbows as he shamelessly flirted with you.
“Nope, thank you. I just had one.”
“Oh, you look like you could use another one. Here, let me get that for you.” He cued the bartender to make an order and you instantly tried to stop him, telling him that it wasn't necessary, but it looks like the bartender was already taking his order for you.
And then, out of nowhere, Bucky suddenly stooped in like a hero. “Hey, Sam, why don’t you back off? This one’s mine, alright?” That elicited a questioning look out of you. “Mine?” He didn’t even know you.
“Oh wait, so this is the one you told us about in the dressing room?” What the hell? You thought. They were talking about you as if you weren’t there at all.
“Yep, so why don’t you fuck off and get out of here before I get myself drunk enough to shit on your bed?” His tone was menacing but you could tell that this was a normal, daily conversation between the two.
“Jeez, alright. I’mma leave. You don’t need to wave your dick all over my face.” Before Sam moved to another spot, he patted you on the back and said, “good luck.”
What? What the hell was that for? The bartender came in with your order and served another glass of Rum right in front of you.
“You don’t need to drink that if you don’t want to.” He carefully spoke to you, as if he was trying to not scare you away.
“No, I think I need to. Tonight’s been a pretty crazy night.” You took a sip, the cold drink felt nice on your tongue.
He chuckled. “Yeah, tell me about it.”
“Oh, how crazy can it be for you? Isn’t this like, what you do, every night?”
“Yeah, but, you never really get used to it, you know? Sometimes you just wanna sit in the bar and have a nice talk with a pretty gal and hide in the booth or something.”
That… Warmed up your heart. Damn, if this is his way of flirting, it was truly working. You could see now why everyone was calling him ‘a charmer.’ He really had a way with words. And stares. His baby blues really know how to captivate you and froze you on spot.
“I’m Bucky, by the way.” He offered his hand to shake yours.
“I’m y/n.” You shook it with a smile.
“Did you like the show?” He asked.
“Gotta be honest with you, buddy, your music isn’t exactly my kind of music. But you guys were awesome.”
He paused for a moment as if he was contemplating what he was going to say next. “Think I got a little distracted up there.”
“Oh yeah? Why is that?”
“Cause there was this pretty lady in a red dress that I couldn’t take my eyes off of.” His gaze even grew more intense now. He was looking at you like you were the only thing in the room. Then his eyes darted to your lips, as he licked his. And before you knew it, he started inching his face closer to yours as he held his gaze on your plump, painted lips, while you could feel his breath more and more as the seconds went by.
And then… His lips were on yours. It’s like the clock just stopped ticking and every noise faded into the background and you were the only two people in the room. His lips felt soft against yours, and the way he licked your bottom lip made your head spin. You ajarred your mouth to let his tongue enter as it got tangled with yours.
You were aware that Nat, Clint and Steve who were having a conversation are now watching you like hawks, but you couldn’t care less. Not when Bucky’s hands grabbed your face, so he could have more control over your mouth. You were practically out of breath by the time he looked into your eyes, that are now slightly darker than a few seconds ago. He loved the sight of you, with your lips slightly swollen.
“Let’s go somewhere more secluded.” You could only nod and then took his hand after he offered you his as you got off the stool. He led the way and you couldn’t help but notice the glances that were thrown by several women along the way. They were staring at him with incontrovertible full of hunger eyes, one even shamelessly put her hand on his shoulder, as she coquettishly smiled at him. Bucky only smiled back and nodded at her but he kept walking with you in his hand.
Even if you were practically a pair, you felt invisible. Everyone’s eyes were on you, but not precisely on you. This must’ve been something normal to him, you thought. You weren’t used to big crowds and inundated with attention, and you weren’t used with unquestionably holding a stranger’s hand and letting him take you wherever he had in mind. But you did anyway, and you weren’t having second thoughts.
Bucky led you to the cramped lavatory and locked the door. The lack of space made it even harder for you to breathe when Bucky was this close to you. He pressed his body to yours, as he kissed you once more. Slowly, but you felt the spell in your bones. “All I could think about on stage was tasting those luscious lips.”
You were spellbound by his magic. You could barely speak another word when his baby blue eyes were looking at you so intensely like that. But you gathered every cell in your body to utter the words anyway, “do it again, then.” You boldly challenged him.
He grinned a Cheshire cat smile. He grabbed your face again and eagerly consume you with his mouth. He then moved his hands to the back of your thighs to elevate you onto the sink. He put his hand on your thigh and the other hand went to the back of your head as he grabbed a fistful of your hair, while still kissing you even deeper.
He pulled away to stare at your distraught state and asked the question, “can I touch you?”
You licked your lips, as you nodded. “Please.” His mouth was on yours again, as the hand that was on your thigh moved to the bottom your dress, delicately inserted his fingers to feel you against your red lace panties. You could feel yourself growing wetter and wetter as he motions his fingers in circle harder.
Your breath quickened. Your mind was getting hazy as the second passes by. The right strep of your dress had fallen off of your shoulder, and Bucky utilized that opportunity to pull down the other strap and he began groping your breast, tenderly pinching your nipple. That elicited a petite yelp out of you. He groped your breast once more as he was still toying with your nipple.
He began kissing your neck, shortly finding your sensitive spot as you threw your head back. You shuddered. Your hands grabbed his hair, wanting to feel him closer. “Bu- Bucky… Please. I need to feel you.”
You didn’t wait for his response and immediately lifted up his shirt. You were stunned by the sight under the dimmed light of the bathroom. Clothes really didn’t do this man any justice. He should never be allowed to wear any coverups, ever again now that you had seen him. He was sculpted by the Gods themselves. His biceps felt robust in your dainty hands and the V-shaped line on his hips led to somewhere you really wanted to wrap your lips around.
Your hands quickly zipped down his jeans and his boxer along with it, and you didn’t hesitate in feeling his throbbing member right there, right then. It felt tremendous in your trembling hands, and you felt it getting harder with every stoke of your palm.
“Oh, fuck, doll, don’t stop.” His voice was raspy in your ears. It was the sexiest goddamn sound you had ever heard.
“Yeah, just like that. Go faster, doll.” He sucked your earlobe and his hand fisted your hair, making a mess out of it. You didn’t mind one bit. You wanted to be a mess for him and only for him. You somehow still managed to pamper him with all the senses you had left, even if your mind was clouded with every part of him.
“Bucky, put it in me. Please.” You begged with a quavering voice.
“Your wish is my command, doll.” In a second, he pushed into you and it sent an electrifying jolt all over your nerves. You threw your head back in mingled pain and pleasure. He felt even more full now that he was fully seated inside you. He lifted you from the sink and pushed you to the wall on the opposite.
You circled your arms around his neck as your back was slammed against the concrete. Then Bucky began thrusting vigorously. You shut your eyes and moaned his name. Bucky, on the other hand, didn’t. He kept his eyes wide open to watch you with full attention. He loved seeing the way you were drunk in him. The way you forgot your name more and more every time he slammed back into you.
He loved the squelching noises ringing in his ears, better than the melody he was used to creating in the studio. The sound of your heartbeat was far more gratifying than the way Clint played his drum. Oh, how he could write an entire album solely about you in this state alone.
“You feel so good around me, doll. So. Fucking. Tight.” Your moans became louder with his filthy words in your ears.
“I’m gonna make you mine.” This time, his voice was sultry. It was rather beguiling than mortifying.
His hips kept moving and out of you with a vehement tempo, and then just like that, you crumbled. You screamed your pleasure, not caring if anyone could hear you. Bucky was still moving, trying to reach his own climax. Shortly, he was with you. He unleashed his cum deep inside you, adding the mess that was dripping all over your thighs.
You were a beautiful mess. And Bucky loved it.
After a few minutes, coming down from your high, you breathed into Bucky’s neck, not wanting for it to be over yet. You were a little scared that Bucky was going to walk out and pretend nothing ever happened between you. You didn’t know how many bathroom stalls Bucky had brought different women to and fucked them silly right there. You had a lot do unravel about him, yet, you weren’t certain whether he wanted to let you in or not.
“You okay?” Bucky whispered into your ear. You only nodded, still a little hazy from ecstasy.
“I’m gonna put you down now, yeah?”
“Okay.” He slowly set you on your feet, as he was still staring at your face. You leaned against the wall, trying not to collapse. Bucky picked up his shirt and put it back on along with his jeans and boxer.
“Let’s get out of here.” Bucky offered you his hand, like the gentleman that he was as if he hadn't just fucked you into oblivion in a public restroom.
You took his hand with a smile. You didn’t know what was going to happen after you walk out of the door, but you were going to savour every second of being in his arm if this was going to be last time you’ll ever see him.
-
You went home with a contented smile on your face. You were like a teenage girl who had just been asked to prom by her crush. How could you not, when Bucky offered to walk you home and left a kiss on your cheek before he called it a night?
Natasha was going to stay at Clint’s hotel, so you were supposed to walk home alone. You knew eventually this was going to happen but Natasha and Clint used it as a reason so Bucky and you would spend the night together too. You didn’t mind one bit, though. You wanted to elongate your time with Bucky and your wish was granted.
You offered him to come inside and stay for a little while, you were secretly hoping that you could go for the second round, but Bucky only chuckled and shook his head.
“Not tonight, doll. I ain’t that kinda man. And you need rest. But I’ll call you tomorrow, yeah?” Then you and Bucky exchanged your numbers and he waited until you were really gone from his sight.
You walked up to your dorm with butterflies in your stomach and sparks fly all trailing over your footsteps. Thank God, Natasha wasn’t here. If she were, she would’ve relentlessly teased you all night and made you admit that she was right to coerce you to come.
And you would’ve had to admit that she was right. And you didn’t like admitting that you were wrong.
But tonight, you were going to admit it to yourself though. Sometimes, doing something that frightens you the most would endue you in ways you couldn’t possibly imagine.
And you were going to thank your lucky stars tonight for embedding Natasha Romanoff in your life because, without her, you would’ve stayed in your shell and Bucky could’ve fucked someone else in that restroom instead of you.
That might’ve happened in another universe, but not tonight. Tonight it was you and you were really hoping that you were going to see him again in your dreams tonight. You had one taste of him and it wasn’t enough.
Bucky texted you not long after you took a shower.
“Dreaming of me, yet?” Wink emoji.
“Well, if I were, I wouldn’t be texting you right now, would I?”
“That’s true, but at least you’d be drenching your sheets because of me and I don’t think I have a problem with that.”
“I don’t need you to do that, maybe I can use some toys in my drawers tonight. They seem pretty bored.” Thinking emoji.
“Oh, doll, you are killing me here…” Drool emoji.
“You like it.”
“I do.”
“Goodnight, Bucky.”
“Goodnight, doll. Thinking of you here.”
You turned off your phone and the screen went black. You changed into your pyjamas and washed off the remnants of your makeup and let the slumber take over you.
Bucky’s face loomed over you, somewhere in a fancy balcony, the view of the city stretching over, added to the beauty of the scenery. He was wearing a navy blue suit with a white dress shirt and no tie. The first couple of buttons were unbuttoned, giving you a majestic picture that he was. His hands that were in his pockets, took yours as you exerted yours to him.
He leaned in with a bright smile under his stubbly face, his blue eyes sparkled like Sirius star.
“Fly with me, doll.”
“What if I fall?”
“Then I’ll catch you.”
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since0202 · 4 years ago
Text
Chapter 24: Break
Warning: Uuuuh, sad. 
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It all happened so fast. 
Rachel Black, Jake’s older sister, had laughed as Grace had launched her body full force into hers. The two tumbled to the beach in a heap as the pack and their partners made their way over to them. 
“Gracie!” Rachel giggled hugging her back just as tightly, “Oh it feels like home seeing you.” She said. 
Grace had helped her up to get a good look at her. Rachel was a little taller than Grace but had the same beautiful angled face as Jacob. Except where his hard edges protruded, hers softened. She had chopped her black hair into a short bob just above her shoulders but her cheeks were just as pink and pronounced as ever. Her amber brown eyes sparkled in the sea light. 
“It’s so good to see you,” Grace said breathless. “What are you doing here?” 
“I’m back home from college, just for the summer before I start my thesis this fall. Biodynamic Farming in Indigenous Communities. So I guess you could say i’m here for research?” 
“That’s great! Wow!” 
“Hey!” Rachel called over her shoulder as the others moved toward them. They all were suddenly crowded around them. Rachel was always a calming presence for Grace. All through her childhood, she was there in her memories. She was the thread that tied her, Jake, and Grace together. And now she was here, same bubbly beautiful Rachel. 
Everything suddenly started to move in slow motion. Rachel still had her arm wrapped around Grace’s shoulder, refusing to let her go just yet as she pulled Quil into a one arm hug, and then Embry. 
And then. 
Paul. Her Paul. 
Rachel and Paul took one look at each other and the world shifted violently under Grace’s feet. 
“Paul Lahote, right?” Rachel had said, some coloring of recognition moving across her face. She had to have felt it. How could she not have? The feeling was palpable between them. The air electrified at this emergent shift in destiny.
Paul didn’t move, his eyes darting from Grace to Rachel quickly. He was tethered. Rachel let go of Grace and stepped toward him, magnetized almost. The rest of the pack looked around at each other, uncomfortable and waves started to echo and crash in Grace’s head like someone turned up the volume too loud.
Leah was next to Grace in an instant. She threaded her fingers into hers and leaned in close to Grace’s ear. 
“Time to go.” She whispered. It wasn’t an ask, but it was urgent, begging almost. At least Grace couldn’t remember if she had asked or not.
But either way, in the next second, Grace was gone. 
Grace looped an arm around her midsection and sank to the bottom of the shower letting the hot water move over her back. The scene wouldn’t stop replaying in her head. Like a broken record for the past five days between being awake or asleep, the scene replayed in her head. She had to hold herself together now to get through the pain of that moment. Again and again it screamed through her brain. 
Paul Lahote, right?
Grace gripped the side of the tub as she felt herself breaking apart again. Steam choking the air around her. She tried her best to stay whole and to stay here. In the past few days, Grace had been having trouble controlling her recasting. Bella thought it must be a side effect of her emotions pushing and pulling her around. 
Sometimes, Grace would wake up in the middle of the night, shaken from a nightmare and find herself somewhere in the forest. Groggily, she’d stand and look around her before recasting home. She never tried to figure out where she was, but she got the feeling that she was going to the same place every time. 
Now, in the heat of the bathroom, the water leaving red welts on her skin, she held on tight trying to keep herself in place. She didn’t know how long she was there for, but she heard the door creak open and a voice call out to her. Everything stayed blurry for awhile. The water was suddenly off and Grace instantly felt cold. 
A towel was placed around her shoulders and suddenly Bella’s face came into view. 
“Hey, come on. Let’s get you to bed.” Bella had seen this look before on her own face and knew that Grace had done the same for her. She gently pulled Grace to her feet and steered her toward the bedroom, tightening the towel around her. Grace sat on the edge of her bed as Bella rummaged through her drawers and pulled out some sweats, socks and an old band t-shirt. She dressed the catatonic Grace carefully and gently combed her hair, threading it into a loose french braid down her back. 
“Come on,” she said as she pulled her back on the bed with her and threw the covers over both of them. 
“Where’s Edward?” Grace asked barely above a whisper as Bella wrapped her pale arms around her. 
“Hunting. They’re prepping for the fight.” Bella said non-descriptively. Bella didn’t need to ask what had happened that day. 
The day after Grace had come home from the beach and gone straight to bed and laid there for over 20 hours, was the first time Paul had shown up. His eyes were hard but pleading when Bella answered the door. 
“Is she here?” He said, a rasp to his voice as if he had been yelling. 
“Now’s not a good time, Paul.” Bella said, crossing her arms. “She won’t speak. So since you’re here, why don’t you tell me what happened.” 
Paul looked down at the ground and shook his head. 
“Please. I just need to see her,” he had pleaded. When he looked back up at Bella, she saw intense pain in his eyes. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. I just-” 
“What happened?!” Bella pushed. 
“I….I imprinted. On Rachel Black….at the beach,” Paul said the words like he had said them a million times. 
“What…” Bella knew what it meant to imprint. Jake had told her what it meant and she had hesitated to ask him if he had imprinted on anyone considering the intensity of their relationship. But he had given her a confusing answer and brushed it off. 
“I didn’t mean for this to happen, Bella. Please. Just...if I could just see her,” Paul stammered, his body trembling. 
Charlie was behind Bella now in the doorway. 
“Paul.” 
“Chief Swan.” He replied trying to regain some composure. 
“Grace isn’t feeling too hot right now and isn’t allowed guests. She’ll call you when she’s ready.” Charlie nodded. “I suggest you head home.” 
“Thanks dad,” Bella muttered as Charlie retreated back into the house. Paul stood there, limp. 
“Just...tell her I stopped by.” Paul said, taking a step back down the stairs. Bella just nodded and shut the door. 
And again today. As Bella hopped down from the truck and pulled her hood up against the rain, she glanced down at her phone to see if Jake had texted her back. Her last text message was sent the day before as her worry for Grace grew: 
SMS Text—7:47 p.m.: Bella 
Please call me, Jake. 
Please. 
She hadn’t gone into details about Grace, but she knew that Jake should be here. Grace was having nightmares, much like the ones Bella used to have when Edward was gone last year. She was woken up on more than one night this week to cries of pain. But each time she jumped across her bed to get to Grace, she was gone. On one night, she even called out for Jake. 
When she closed her phone and looked up, Paul was there again. Bella shoved her hands in her pocket and walked around the truck making her way toward the house. 
“No, Paul.” Bella said, much less sympathy now. 
“I just want to talk to her.” Paul said. He seemed less beat up today than he had on the first time he’d known up. Bella had raised an eyebrow at him, skeptical. 
“Absolutely not. You broke her fucking heart,” Bella said, surprised at her own anger. Paul tensed at this. 
“I know. I just need to see her.” 
“No, not today.” Bella said, swerving around him to get into the house. 
“Before the fight then,” Paul bargained. 
“No. When she’s ready, not when it’s convenient for you,” Bella said, not bothering to turn around. She slammed the door behind her before hearing an explosion and tearing out on the front lawn that could only mean one thing. 
Now, as Bella listened to Grace’s rhythmic breathing as the light faded away outside, she worried about what happened next. If Grace tried to join the fight like this, she worried she’d get hurt. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone again. 
Still nothing. Desperate times call for desperate measures. 
SMS Text—8:32 p.m.: Bella
Jake, you need to come home now. 
It’s Grace. She’s in pretty rough shape. 
Bella clipped her phone shut and wrapped her arms around Grace who had fallen asleep on her shoulder. She sighed and closed her eyes, willing sleep. 
When she woke up the next morning, the space where Grace had been sleeping was empty. 
Grace had been walking and walking since before dawn. Making her way to the reservation. Her body felt weak despite all of the sleep, but she held new resolve. She couldn’t sit in this pain anymore and just let it be hers. 
She was going to confront Paul. Instead of recasting to the rez, she took the time to walk through the forest. She made her way easily in the dark, not needing to see to know where she was going. When she finally reached his door some of her resolve started to crumble. 
What if Rachel was in there? What if she saw something she didn’t want to see? He wouldn’t have moved on so quickly would he? But she knew imprinting worked different. She took a step back and then felt the pain crash around her again. She would not be alone in this. 
Quickly she stepped forward and rapped on the door, nearly banging on it. It only took a couple of seconds for Paul to reach the door and yank it open. His face was full of annoyance that subsided to shock that melted into desperation. 
“Grace,” he choked out. Grace kept her hands at her side, eyes rimmed red and hands clenched into fists. 
“Can I come in?” her voice shook more than she wanted it to. 
“Yeah, yeah,” he stepped back so she could come in. She moved past him doing her best not to let any part of her touch him. The minute she got inside, her eyes automatically lingered down the hallway to the cracked bedroom door. She swallowed hard and turned to face him. Maybe this was a bad idea after all. 
“Grace, I’ve wanted to talk to you for a week.” Paul said keeping his distance more for Grace’s sake than his. “I’ve stopped by. Did Bella tell you?” 
Grace nodded her head. She suddenly felt like a caged animal. What about this was supposed to make her feel better again? She couldn’t even look at him for too long or she’d feel her stomach turn. 
“Grace I’m so-”
“Don’t say you’re sorry,” Grace said, her eyes hard now. “Don’t.” 
“Okay,” he watched her carefully. She felt frantic, uneasy, where this place was once going to be her home she now felt like an unwanted guest. She kept checking over her shoulder, waiting for someone to stumble out of the bedroom. A room that Paul had filled with light for her. And now, she’d never see it again. She wanted to walk the short steps to it and push open the door to mourn her loss in peace. But she was too afraid about who was behind the door. 
“Is she here?” Grace said suddenly. 
“What?” Paul said confused for a second, and then realization dawned on him, “No, Grace of course not, no.” He almost looked offended.
Grace looked at the floor embarrassed now. Paul took two steps toward her and she stumbled back. 
“No.” she said, tears coming immediately. “Please...don’t. It’s too much.” Paul crumbled now. She’d never seen him cry, but something in him broke in this moment. 
“Grace. Please, let me explain,” he said. Grace dug her fingernails into her palms and nodded. 
“Okay. Explain.” She could take it. She could do this. 
“I didn’t mean for this to happen, you have to know that. When Rachel showed up, I was just as panicked as you. I’ve barely talked to her since. I just needed to figure this out and I couldn’t….I didn’t want to let you go,” he shuddered, as tears glistened and fell from his eyes. Grace nodded to have him keep going. “I couldn’t eat or sleep. I had to see you and Bella wouldn’t let me see you. I felt so...lost without you Grace.” 
Grace was shaking now, trying to keep herself in place. Not now, not yet. She had to hear it. 
“I went to see Ti’Hal. I couldn’t take the pain...the weight of this. She said imprinting wasn’t a choice but that I still had one. I could still choose you.” Grace let a whimper escape and shut her eyes tight for a minute before opening them to look at Paul. “But….but she said that even if I chose you, Grace, you would never be as happy with me as we were before. And I wouldn’t expect you to be because I’d always be looking after Rachel. It would eventually destroy us.” 
Grace held herself in place even though she felt it starting. 
 “Ti’Hal said it would be better if I-,” he choked, burying his face in his hands and letting out muffled sobs. Grace was shaking so hard she wondered if he could hear her teeth chatter. “She said, I should….” he stopped and stuttered again trying to look at her. 
“She told you to let me go,” Grace said, her voice warbling and her knees shaking. Paul looked at her sucking in a deep breath and wiping at his face. He nodded. 
“Yes.” Was all he could manage as he looked at her. She wasn’t sure why but something in her accepted this even though her heart was fighting like hell against it. She strode over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face in his shoulder. He immediately grabbed her and held her to him tightly. 
She let her body collapse onto him. She tried to let her pain go but instead it swelled up inside her as she held tight to him. The pain crescendoed and she pulled back cupping his face in her hands. Paul was breathing heavy trying to bring himself under control. His eyes searched hers, hoping for her to say anything that might allow him to move forward, pretend like nothing happened, and carry her back to the bedroom like they had done last week. 
“Let me go.” she whispered painfully. He squeezed her sides and looked down then quickly back up at her face. She planted one more soft kiss on his lips that he desperately tried to deepen, but she was gone in a flicker. 
She recast on the edge of the forest and trudged the short way up the familiar hill to the cliff’s edge. The day around her was shaping up to be beautiful, the last solid day of sun they’d have for awhile. Grace stood on the edge of the cliff, the pain swirling up in her and tearing its way out of her throat. She let out a guttural, primal, painful scream that shook her whole body and got carried away by the wind and then fell to her knees in heaving sobs. 
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cherriesink · 3 years ago
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Kurusu Shuutarou - Murmurs
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Murmurs are snippets of character reflection earned by increasing Explore Points during Exploration. They usually include 6-7 monologues about other characters and 3-4 monologues about things important to the specific character. 
These lines are taken straight from the English translation of the game, so fair warning of bad grammar.
About Yatsufusa “Yatsufusa is like a younger brother to me so I’m always curious with him. I was just like him when I became a vampire myself.
Maeda, Yamagami, Suwa, and Takeuchi... I finally got used to my new body with their support. I was caught up with negative thoughts about our eternal life. But now, I just look what’s ahead of me and move onward. If that gives me another 100 years to live, so be it- That’s how my mind has shifted. 
...Honestly, there is not a single good thing about being a vampire. But I started seeing things positively after finding out that even I could be useful. Yatsufusa hasn’t realized that just yet. I can tell from his eyes.
But nothing will change even if I try to convince him. In the end, he has to accept it himself. Of the abursdity of becoming a vampire and this entire world... 
After all, none of us know the correct way to live as a vampire.”
About Maeda “Colonel Maeda is my boss... who leads Code Zero and is VERY intimidating... I’m stronger than him for sure, but I always shrink away from him when seeing his toughness. 
I know he’s from Saga- and the master of Taisha, but Yamagami told me that it’s his original since he made “improvements” with his own techniques. Besides, he’s a monster since he can slash in the speed of light when his left arm is a prosthetic. He can defeat an unranked vampire, so it’s as if he’s a vampire himself. A vampire that doesn’t need to drink blood...
There’s Suwa, Takeuchi, and Yamagami...
After all, Colonel Maeda is the only person who can lead such a unit filled with vampires that are quite the character. 
But I wish he can do something about bickering with Yamagami every single time. It stops our strategy meetings creating this awkward atmosphere... not to mention, it’s simply horrifying.”
About Yamagami “Yamagami is always agitated but he’s a nice person. He told me that he fell in love with his wife and got married. AND Yamagami was the one head over heels in love with her. In the end, he finally got her to date him after countless turndowns. That’s why he’s a devoted husband while being a vampire.
I know that he goes around to his wife’s house in the spare time of being on patrol. I’m sure it’s his routine until she passes away... Even if he can’t see her in person since she thinks he died with honor in service to the country...
We don’t get old. That’s why we cannot live in the same timeline as ordinary people. They are apart and we’ll never be able to see each other again, but Yamagami will continue to protect his wife. They live in a different timeline, but their bond as husband and wife will not change. That’s what I believe.”
About Takeuchi “When I first met Takeuchi, I thought he was the kindest person. He speaks politely too. Only... the things he talks about is way too terrifying! He makes tools and weapons that helps our weaknesses as a vampire. So it really helps and we appreciate him. 
...But his eyes look scary. The way his mind works is scary, and what he says is scary. He always wants to test his new invention on Yamagami too...
He told me that the fund provided by the military is hardly anything at all, so he sells his his inventions at department stores. He said the sunscreen that protects us vampires from the sunlight is the most popular item. Apparently, it also brightens up the human skin and is making him a fortune. It’s amazing that he has the talent for making money too...
The only thing is, is that he’ll ask you to assist his experiment the moment you show any kind of interest...” 
About Suwa “Apparently, Suwa joined Code Zero so he can kill vampires. A vampire that despises vampires... He said he was attacked by vampires that came along with the missionary during the Azuchi-Momoyama period...
His body contains a high concentration of vampire poison from numerous vampires. Takeuchi believes that his hair probably turned white because of the side effect. I guess that’s where his grudge towards vampires comes from...
I wonder how he managed to survive on his own for hundreads of years? Is he with us because he wants to kill vampires and that’s all...?
I hope he’s able to find peace even for a little bit by spending time with us since he’s lived in solitude for a very long time.”
About Defrott “Just like they say “Let sleeping dogs lie,” Defrott is harmless as long as you do not violate his territory. It seems he’s not interested in conflict between vampires. He’s like a little boy who’s a bystander of a play, waiting for the ending to come. Although... he is a few hundred years older than me, so he isn’t really a “boy.”
...But when he pretends to be one, I almost forget he is the strongest and most dangerous vampire in the world. I sometimes wonder if I can protect Code Zero- if Defrott challenges us to a serious battle. I doubt that I can... because I can tell Defrott has powers that even Takeuchi’s inventions and Colonel Maeda’s brain cannot withstand.
But i think a part of him is still human deep inside... He is a very interesting man.”
About Shinnosuke “I’m worried how lonely Shinnosuke looks sometimes. Boys his age probably go out with their friends but... I guess it’s hard for him since he’s busy working. Didn’t he say he was raised by vampires...? 
I don’t have much to if he’s living a happy life... but I think it’s important to have a human friend around the same age as him. Because he’ll grow older than Ishikawa at this rate. 
But he probably knows that- Vampires and humans can only spend a short amount of time together... more than me, a newbie vampire... I guess there isn’t anything I can say.
A human that despises his own kind and adores vampires instead- I hope he will learn to love humans one day. Although, who am I to say when I’m neither?”
About Family “I wonder how my friends and family are doing... They think I died in honor like Yamagami. I actually have my own grave and mortuary tablet too...
I want to come out and tell them that I’m fine whenever I see my childhood friend praying for me in front of my grave... But how can I come out to them that I’ve turned into a vampire? Besides, I’ll be breaking the rules of Code Zero.
I feel bad for making many people sad... How ironic- everyone thinks I’m dead but here I am with a never-ending life... 
But I can’t be near them. I’ll watch over them just like how Yamagami is watching over his wife. I’ll watch over my friends and family... walking under the bright sun. Till the day comes they are filled with joy and happiness.”
About Drinking Blood “Yamagami and the others all tell me that I have to drink blood. But... I can’t.
They say that other animals’ blood- like mice will also do but tastes bad. That human blood tastes the best. But... I just don’t like the idea of drinking blood because I don’t think I can stay human once I do.
I know that I can’t keep this up forever. I know that... but it’s blood we’re talking about. I just can’t drink it no matter how much I’m told that it’s good... I mean, how can people bite into other people’s necks just like that just because they were told “You’re a vampire starting from today”!? I simply don’t get it.
I tried getting my nutrients through other things but Blood Candies have a weird smell... It would be a lie to say that I don’t have any thirst for blood. However, my desire for staying human is much stronger... 
There are people who don’t like to eat meat. So why can’t there be a vampire that doesn’t like to drink blood...?”
About Vampires “I’ve met many vampires ever since I’ve joined Code Zero. Vampires that indiscriminately attack people like monsters. Vampires that find pleasure in killing people like psycho killers. Vampires that fall into despair and self-destruct...
But there are ones that can live with no problem just like Defrott. Some vampires work hard like a decent person and pay for blood. And then there’s us... those employed by the government hunting down our own kind.
There is no right answer to being a vampire, just like how there’s no right answer to being a human. There is no right or wrong. Still, we fear death while we live our never-ending lives...
This may last forever. Who knows what awaits in the future. I don’t even know how long I can keep up my human spirit... Perhaps it’s the end of me when one day I lose my humanness.”
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