#sometimes murder is not sex

[haleskaja]

There is a hell, believe me, you’ll see it

[theside-b]

Despite his personality, chef Oab is really popular.

THIS LOVE DOESN'T HAVE LONG BEANS (2024)

[fappellmoan]

so i just wanna say i think i fumbled with a bad bitch a little bit the other night but not just in a shy loser wuhluhwuh way i just have so many other problems. but going forward i am going to be brave 🙏

[just-sp-in-inginthevoid]

Imagine reading a new manga and joking about it being homoerotic and then it gets explicitly stated that one of the protags is gay

If I don't see any weird romance blossom between those two istg-

[mars-ipan]

i do miss being a little kid and creating the most vividly fucked up stories with my toys that i could

[ravensroleplays]

Okay, you know what? Gonna share the AU idea I've been toying around with for a while, because why not?

Also, I'm just going to state upfront that I haven't figured out all the details just yet--this is very much a work in progress at this point. I just kind of want to share what I have right now.

I'm also going to admit that this idea was based in part off the family from the Fox cartoon Krapopolis X'D Haven't watched the show myself (and I have no plans of doing so, for several reasons), but after seeing the promo on my aunt's TV last year, I actually got curious enough to look up the show's Wikipedia page, and I can appreciate the blended family dynamic of the main characters. Also, I stated some time back that I do actually like the idea of Hat Kid and Mustache Girl being sisters, whether it's through adoption or they're biological sisters--and I just couldn't leave Bow Kid out of it, because she's babey :3

Now then, all that out of the way, here's what I've been thinking (and yeah, I'm going to put all of this under a cut, bc it's LONG):

First big difference: Charles (the name of the Prince in my AU(s), for those who didn't know that) and Vanessa did actually get married in this one, rather than just being engaged, like in my main AU, Specters and Space Aliens, and Hat Kid is their biological daughter.

However, Vanessa being Vanessa, she of course got jealous of her own daughter taking attention away from her husband, and Charles, fearing that Vanessa might hurt their daughter, arranged with Tim, the CEO of Time and Space, to take little Hatty with him to the Timekeeper's planet, at least until some time had passed, and he was able to cool Vanessa's temper. Alas, that wouldn't come to pass, as afterwards, Charles got the idea to buy his wife some flowers and...well, you know the rest.

However, unknown to Charles, it wasn't the first time one of them had done something like this...a couple of years before, Vanessa secretly had a one night stand with a man from what was then Mustache Town. After discovering she was going to have a baby, Vanessa used magic to hide her pregnancy until the time came, and gave birth to the child who would come to be known as Mustache Girl in secret, and arranged to have her sent to Mustache Town in order to be raised by her father.

So now you have a Hat Kid who actually did grow up on the Timekeeper's planet, being raised by Tim as a sort of granddaughter to him. At some point, Bow Kid (who no, isn't Moonjumper's creation/daughter here, though I'll get to old MJ in a bit), an orphaned Timekeeper child, ends up meeting Hatty, and Hatty asks Tim if Bow can live with them, with the two girls adopting each other as sisters.

From there on, the events of the main game play out like in canon, albeit with Bow tagging along with Hatty through Mafia Town, Dead Bird Studios...and eventually Subcon Forest. Like in the SaSA! AU, MJ corrupted Charles into Snatcher...however, since here it's only been about six years as opposed to hundreds, if not thousands, he's not quite gone yet. So not only does Snatcher NOT take the girls' souls, but he recognizes his daughter's soul and HOLY COW HIS DAUGHTER IS BACK.

So to make a long story short, after the events of the game, and after struggling with his own doubts and giving up taking souls and murdering people (though he DOES have a MUCH easier time of it here than in my main AU), Snatcher decides he wants to try and be a father again and, after Tim reveals the truth of Hatty's parentage to her, he allows her to return to Subcon Forest to be with her dad, albeit under the condition that he be allowed to stop by now and then to make sure things are going well. So Hatty goes to live in Subcon, bringing Bow with her, since she's grown attached to her adopted sister, and Snatcher not only has his old daughter back, but he also has a new daughter as well.

But it isn't ALL Roman candles--sometime after her defeat, Mustache Girl ended up going into self-imposed exile from the former Mafia Town, and, after doing some research, learned that she, like Hatty, was actually royalty--the elder daughter of Queen Vanessa. So she also treks into Subcon to meet up with mommy dearest...suffice it to say, it doesn't go quite as warmly as Hatty and Snatcher's reunion, but at some point she puts it out that she is, in fact, Vanessa's daughter and, though it takes some doing, Van's eventually like 'Oh HECK, this is the kid I gave up.'

So yeah, the AU is basically Hatty being caught in the middle as her former soul-stealer dad tries to be a better person and a good dad to her and her adopted sister, while her crazy ice witch mom and half-sister who once tried to kill her scheme to try and get back the prince and kingdom, respectively XD

I call it: 'Dysfunctional Blended Family AU'

Thoughts?

[andrewknightley]

the problem is that i loooooveeee buddy cops movie dinamics but i am tired of cops (except of course hot fuzz) but where do i get this kind of buddy duo dinamic guys where. i accept recommendations

[fingertipsmp3]

Ughhhhhhh I hate writing and I hate not writing and I hate myself

[marypsue]

(For the record, while we're on the subject of meta-slasher-influenced story ideas, the 'what if Jade Daniels and the ghost of Eddie Munson were best friends and travelled the country fighting horror movie slashers together, and also the narrative was alive and trying to eat them' story idea turned out to have legs, and it's fucking running. I am just trying to keep up.)

[victo1re-arc]

pre-tadpole victoria with every SINGLE feat dumped into cha/wis score increases using her powers for (sexy) evil. victoria analysing every little tell and knowing exactly what turns people on, sometimes before they do. victoria, a surprisingly giving lover, an at-times gentle domme. trust her; love her; need her. prime yourself to do it with a smile when she tells you to take her knife and run it through your own chest.

[lilypads17]

listen the truth of light yagami is he talks a lot of smack and The Light Yagami Show is all about appearing as socially acceptable as possible. he is in fact. not that. and there's Something about L being the only one to peel apart the grand performance to see behind the curtains

[winepresswrath]

drusilla's canon grandma kink is a thing that can be so charming & unhinged.

[deadrlngers]

everyone in the party wondering 'what's inside the black velvet pouch violante so jealousy hides but still has around all the time in the camp?' and violante, in a strange burst of humour she doesn't usually have, jokes around by saying it's smth different every single time someone asks so it became a running joke and everyone just assumes she hides some kind of expensive gemstone or whatever but instead she's hiding the stolen skull of her dead best friend she killed and that she can speaks to sometimes and can hear it speak back at her. insane women and their trinkets u know <3

[travellingwiththedead]

Why are there people who look at a story about characters who explicitly say "i don't want sex" and decide that some other pleasure the character enjoys is clearly "like sex" for them? Why must there be anything that's "like sex"? People can have pleasures that are not sexual in nature and still not want sex. Sex is not a universal constant or an absolute necessity. You don't need to have sex or something you can equal to sex in every story. And let's not even start on the whole "they clearly must be having sex even if they say they don't because who wouldn't want to have sex?" comments... Just something for you allos to think about.

[johndonneswife]

woman next to me on the plane just now talked to me about God and Jesus and the Power of Prayer for a full hour and the infant across from us screamed at the top of their lungs the entire flight so i’m dying btw if you even care

[just-bible-musings]

As a Christian, I don't believe in abortion. BUT. I can actually understand it from a certain pov.

I would argue that the obvious solution is to go back to teaching abstinence before marriage (along with a lot of other unpopular topics). But not only is that extremely unlikely to happen anytime soon (which makes me sad), that won't help the women of the current age who WEREN'T taught that and don't see why they shouldn't be allowed to have sex whenever or with whoever they want.

So... the BEST option right now is that the church NEEDS TO DO IT'S FRIKKIN' JOB! Sheltering these women and supporting them and their children. And that includes getting them AWAY from their wifebeating husbands and bf's (and their parents too in many cases!).

The whole Christian church takes an attitude of "you made your bed now lie in it." Jesus NEVER said that.

To the woman taken in adultery (John 8:1-11), Jesus said only "go and sin no more"- AFTER telling off every single one of the Pharisees arguing to stone her. And Jesus only brought up the woman at the well's past (John 4) because He could see that it was plaguing her and He wanted to heal her from it. The end of the conversation went something like this (I'm paraphrasing):

"Bring your husband here and we'll talk more." "Yeah, um, I don't have a husband." "I know. You've had 5 husbands before and now you're living with a guy that you're not married to." "Huh? How did you know-? Whatever... the Messiah is coming someday, maybe He can explain a few things." "Ma'am, you're talking to Him."

The woman's response was to run back to town and tell people, "I found the Messiah! He told me everything I ever did, He HAS to be the Christ!" (Again, paraphrasing, not quoting.) Leading me to conclude that Jesus only mentioned the woman's past because it was how He intended to lead her to faith in Him.

This is how we're supposed to treat people. We're supposed to LOVE them and TAKE THEM IN, not leave them somewhere to die. Educating them on how to conduct their lives better can come AFTER we've made sure they freaking SURVIVE!!!

I have to wonder if maybe a lot more women would be less likely to get an abortion if they thought they had any other option.

The number one cause of death in pregnant women is murder. Think About That.