#sometimes i wish id have left so i could take her with me

[moss-sprouted]

that tiktok trend i keep seeing set to the song that goes "we'll leave this fucked up place behind, but ill know ill know ill know" etc thats about the guilt older siblings feel from leaving younger siblings behind in toxic/abusive households is SO hard and weird for me being the older sibling thats been unable to really be a proper adult or leave because of a combination of anxiety/trauma/autism but my younger sister Did leave and it just, makes me sad everytime

[bitchapalooza]

I'm sorry for my posts today, I guess the stress from the entirety of September was piled too high and is collapsing onto my head. I'm just so tired y'all....

[petew21-blog]

The NEW McDreamy

Derek spent most of his days roaming the Seattle, observing the lives of his children, sometimes making it all the way to his sisters to see how they're doing. But most of the time he was in hospital. Wishing to be back in the OR, to be THE McDreamy everyone respected. The neurosurgeon. One of the best in the whole world.

His death was a tragic accident. His wife, Meredith decided to unplug him to not prolong his suffering. But he still had unfinished business on Earth, so he stayed as a ghost.

He traced Meredith’s steps, sometimes eaves dropped on his ex-colleagues conversations, but the most interesting thing that caught his attention recently was Meredith dating again. He was in the corner of her bedroom, jealous of the young doctor having a passionate sex with her.

He used to have that to. A hot body, hot steamy sex with his wife. Now a strange man, that slightly resembled Derek, was having sex with her in the bed that he used to.

Meredith spoke up to the guy:”You need to go, my children can’t see you.”

The guy:”I don’t really want to leave yet.” Meredith:”Seriously. You have to leave.”

The guy:”Could I at least take a shower before I leave? I don’t want to go to the hospital all sweaty again.”

Meredith:”Fine, but hurry.” The guy:”You’re more then welcome to join me.”

Meredith:”Go!”

The guy left to the bathroom in his briefs, while Derek followed him.

Derek:”What’s so great about you, huh? I was hotter then you. She just has sex with you because I’m not in the picture.”

The guy didn’t hear a thing and just proceeded to take his shower.

Derek’s jealousy grew. He got close, TOO close. Closer than he ever tried before. A force pulled him inside of the guy.

Derek:”No…” he couldn’t even finish his screaming as his soul was dragged into the body

Derek opened his eyes. Wait. Derek could open his eyes again. He felt the warm water falling on his body. Derek stretched his hands over to the head of the shower. It was real. His hands could feel the temperature again. He looked down.

Derek:”No way. I’m you.” He explored his new body. Still being more proud of his previous one, but not dening, that this body was attractive as well.

He got out of the shower and looked into the mirror. He kind of could see himself in this guy’s eyes. He inspected his new face.

Derek:”I don’t even know your name. How am I supposed to do this?”

He exited the bathroom and entered the bedroom again. Meredith was asleep. This gave him a chance to find out a bit more about himself. He took the guy’s jeans to his hands and found a wallet. Inside of it was his ID card and other documents. “Andrew, Deluca. Exotic.” He said to himself out loud which woke up Meredith.

Meredith:”What are you still doing here?”

Derek:”I was wondering if you were interested in second round?”

Meredith:”You’re bad influence, you know that?”

Derek:”What can I say.”

He jumped on the bed to get closer to Meredith. They started making out.

Derek made his way with his fingers to fondle her breasts.

Meredith:”Andrew. We have a lot of appointments for today. We shouldn’t be late.”

Derek:”We won’t. And besides. I kind of thought about switching to neuro anyway.”

Meredith looked at him suspiciously, but Derek didn’t give her enough time to think it through and used his finger to explore his way down.

Meredith was falling in love with Andrew more and more every day. He treated her kids as if they were his own, he exceeded in work and even after switching to neuro, he made unbelievable progress. And the sex. God the sex was amazing. It made her remember how Derek and her used to have sex all the time before the kids.

One day, she went to observe on one of Andrew’s first solo neuro surgeries.

He looked up at her, happy to see her in the audience, winking at her. She never saw him this happy before. He looked at everyone else. “All right everybody, it’s a beautiful day to save lives. Let’s have some fun.”

Meredith eyes widened. The catchphrase. His catchphrase. Deluca wasn’t there when Derek used to say that. Unless someone told him. But then Meredith recalled all the moments from the past weeks. How he treated the kids. His change of clothes style. The different sex moves. “Wait… Derek?”

Another anonymous request from Inbox

Could you do a story where Derek Shepherds ghost possesses Andrew Deluca after finding out he has started dating Meredith?

[cherriegyuu]

Midnight | ljh

pairing: jihoon x f!reader genre: angst word count: 2.1k summary: a sudden text leads you to the place you wished you never left warnings: death is a main plot point a/n: i've been m.i.a for a while now but i'm slowly getting back on track ~ really slowly ~ managed to write this last night so i hope you like it. thank you to @ressonancee for reading it for me💓

It’s a weird thought, dying. It was the kind of thought that often crossed your mind. What it would be like to die. Was it like flushing something down the toilet or turning off a lamp? One second and it was done, forgotten. Or was there something else so it was just a second of darkness before you were led to something else so incredible that it was hard even to imagine it? 

Maybe it was just a thought that never managed to leave your mind or perhaps it was because death seemed to be the central point of your life. Not only your life but everyone else’s lives. It was hard not to think about death when you may wake up one day and have it be your last day. It's hard not to feel scared to pick up the phone and see the text there, announcing one’s imminent death. 

Some days it was easy to forget about it all together. Days when life just hit the perfect amount of good, when it was just good enough that it could be overlooked, but not good enough so one could feel the storm down the line. It had been a long time since you had one of those. 

A good day.

You used to have plenty of them. Most of them were overlooked. You spent so much time just worrying about the smallest things, every little dust that seemed to be out of place, that you failed to see the good. You had taken it all for granted until it wasn’t yours anymore. 

Unlike most nights, when you’d wait until midnight to make sure you didn’t get the text, just to make sure that you had another day to live, you fell asleep. This weird state of numbness in which sleep was the only possible course of action. Dreamless and sound sleep, a good one. 

Yet, when you finally woke up to a text on your phone, it wasn’t scary. You had always expected that getting it would feel like doomsday had finally come, at least to you. But somehow, it was just a day. The sun shone brightly outside your window, the birds were chirping, and the kids laughed on the playground. 

To you, it was your final day. To everyone else, it was just a day. A normal, bright, sunny July day like any other. 

You didn’t make phone calls or somehow announce your death to everyone you knew, though that was probably the most responsible and respectful thing you could have done. Somehow, you didn’t want anyone to know. You want to go like you had come into this world, silently. Your mother used to say that you only cried after the doctor hit you a couple of times until you finally made a sound. You were a quiet child, she said, sometimes I’d just watch you play by yourself for hours, just to make sure that you were really there. 

All you did was put on your sunny dress, the light pink one that hit just above your knees, take your ID - which you were likely to need - and leave your apartment. You took one last look around, at the green couch you had chosen despite the protests of everyone around you, at the bookshelf filled with books that you had yet to read, the little decorations you had bought over the years that were a nightmare to clean but oh so pretty to look at.

“It was a good run, thank you”

Although dying was a constant thought, what you’d do when you found out about your death wasn’t. What you would do in those last 24 hours, where would you go, who would you see? 

Your mother was a clear and obvious no. Even if you went just for a visit, she’d know. You had never been able to lie to her. A programmed text was all that you’d allow yourself to give her and your friends. It was selfish, you knew that. You should give them time to say goodbye, they were the ones who would suffer, and they would be the ones left behind. 

You knew all of that, but couldn’t bring yourself to do anything about it.

You didn’t have a clear place to go in mind, you just wanted to walk. At first, you thought that it was aimlessly. And it was until it wasn’t. Until you reached the building you were all too familiar with, one where you had spent years of your life coming to, like it was your second home, until you didn’t. 

Taking a deep breath you pushed the door open. You weren't too sure of what you expected to find, but Jihoon right in front of you wasn’t one of them. It was too early for him to be there. His days usually started after noon, and that was still early, barely ten in the morning. So why was he there? 

“Hey,” he said. 

You wanted to urge him to keep talking. Anything at all was fine. His grocery list, all the planets in the solar system, counting from 0 to a million, a scary book. Anything. You just wanted to keep hearing his voice. You missed it. Six months without it, without him. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, eyes scanning your face, your teary eyes. 

When did the lump in your throat happen?  Why were you on the verge of tears? 

For five years of your life, Jihoon was a constant. You used to float around him, adapting to him, clinging to him, loving him. Until he wasn’t. Until there was nothing left of him in your life but the memories you had made together. 

“I know… I know that I shouldn’t be here, that we agreed that we’d never seek each other out again” you pulled as much air into your lungs as you possibly could “But just for today, can you please let me stay?”

For the first time in your life, you didn’t mind how vulnerable you sounded. For once you didn’t mind using your pain to get what you wanted and needed. And you needed Jihoon like you needed him every day.

“What’s going on?”

Jihoon took a step towards you, hand raised on the same level as your face as if he would reach for you at any second. Would it be wrong to silently pray that he would? Would it be possible to wish for something so fervently? 

“Please, Jihoon, please. I need this just today. I promise I’ll never come to you again” you begged him, eyes closed when he never touched you. 

“I… yeah, okay. Just don’t…” he seemed distressed, but agreed either way. 

“Interrupt,” you said completing his sentence “I know”

Jihoon was never a bad boyfriend and you like to think that you weren’t a bad girlfriend either. People don’t stay five years together if they hate each other, or at least you thought so. You know you wouldn’t. And Jihoon wasn’t someone one could hate. He was serious and quiet, yes, of course, but he was also kind and warmhearted. He would quietly do things while thinking of you like leaving an extra hoodie in his studio in case you got cold, always having a hair elastic around his wrist because you always seemed to forget yours somewhere, like writing the words he found it difficult to say in a song and send it to you in the middle of the day – something that made you cry in your office desk. 

Like death, it was difficult to pinpoint when your relationship had ended. You were able to talk about issues, and then talking became screaming. Love songs, written most beautifully, became filled with resentment and anger. You were together and then you weren’t. 

He was yours and then he wasn’t. 

You watched the back of his head while he worked, listening to his fingers quickly tapping on the keyboard, sitting in the very same spot you used to. The extra hoodie was still neatly folded in the corner, the little box that used to be filled with your hair ties was still next to the coffee mug. When he reached for it you noticed that the back elastic was still around his wrist. 

The smoke of jealousy burned your throat, rising from the twisting pit of flames that your stomach had become. 

You shouldn’t feel bitter over it, had no right to be angry at him for moving on. Still, you allowed the feeling to sip into you, allowing the flames and smoke to take over your veins. It was your last day on earth, breathing, you should be allowed to hate the man you loved, even if it was just for a second. 

“Hey, you wake up”

You came to your senses with a gasp, eyes wide, gripping the hand on your shoulder for dear life. You wished for it to save you, to just pull you back. 

Jihoon’s eyes looked back at yours, filled with worry. His eyes too, were wide, mouth open in surprise. You relaxed your body against the couch again and took a couple of seconds to just look at him, to memorize him. 

If there was a place after this life, if there wasn’t just nothing after it, he was someone you’d want to remember. Your mother believed that the people in our lives are souls we choose to meet during the course of human life. If that was true, if you had a choice, you hoped to meet Jihoon again. 

“Sorry, I fell asleep” 

You cleared your throat, forcing your body to sit up and in the process pushing Jihoon away from you. The spot he had touched in your shoulder felt oddly warm, compared to the rest of your body. You wanted to ask him to touch you again, hold you again.

“It’s fine, you were probably tired”

Jihoon held back the desire to ask questions, to demand answers. He knew when you parted ways that he would never see you again, that if he did it would be by chance and there was no chance of you talking to him again. 

He had never seen you like that, eyes lost, sounding desperate. He didn’t have it in him to tell you to leave, he didn’t want to either. If a small moment with you, in silence, was all he had then he was more than happy to accept it.  

“Thank you for today. And, as I said, this won’t happen again”

You got up, running your hands over your dress, helplessly trying to smooth the wrinkles in your dress. He wanted to ask you to stay, invite you to dinner, ask if you were doing fine — although, if your restless sleep was a sign of anything, fine wasn’t one of them. 

“Okay” was all he managed to say before you almost fled his studio. 

Your steps were quick and you opted for the stairs instead of the elevator. It was only the second floor, you could go down a few flights of stairs.

It was already dark out when you pushed open the door, there were only a few cars in the street and only a couple of people rushing somewhere. A little bell inside your mind went off, like an alarm, like it said that you only had an hour left. 

“Wait!”

Jihoon rushed out of the building, turning his head side to side, trying to find you again. You simply stood there awkwardly, hand to sides of your body. 

“I… you… did you get the text?” 

A part of your brain told you to tell him the truth, to just cry and grieve the loss of your own life in front of him, let him hug you like you knew he would. But the other part, the one that was ego-driven, didn’t want the last image of you Jihoon ever saw to be a broken one. 

“No, no” you waved your hands in front of yourself, doing your best to smile reassuringly at him “I just had the worst night of my life and you were the only person I could think of”

“Oh” he furrowed his eyebrows at you, head slightly tilted to the side

“Sorry for just showing up, I know how much you hate that”

You smiled again, this time more naturally, a calmness settling into you. 

“You’re okay though, right?” his eyes were focused on your shaking hands when he took a step forward, and at the same time you took one back “Do you need anything? I can take you home if you want”

“No, it’s fine. I’m fine” you were quick to add

“I’ll see you around then, I guess”

Please, god, you prayed silently, let me meet Jihoon again in my next life. 

“Bye, Jihoon”

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[invisiblerambler]

GO AHEAD AND CRUCIFY ME IN THE SQUARE

I think this season might be my favorite. Or favorite is the wrong word, it lives most closely to my heart. Before last week I would have said that about S2 and I LOVE season 2 it feels like a warm hug to me and I can rewatch almost any episodes any day of the week and it feels like a comfort.

Especially the back half of the season. The conversation Syd has with her dad about this being the thing and the conversation with Carmy under the table. Those represent a better part of my nature when I'm mostly concerned about the state of my career and what I hope to accomplish.

Season 3 though, and I acknowledge it could be biased towards where I am in my life right now, but season three hit me between the eyes. It's forced me to confront things frankly I didn't want to, but I think that's it's success.

The honesty with which it portrays someone so deep in grief and trauma and the ambition that intersects both of those things.

I cannot begrudge anyone who finds it tedious, but unfortunately healing from trauma is tedious and boring and just as awful as it looks from the outside sometimes.

Living through a period of time where the thoughts in your head are consuming and distorting reality to the point they are with Carmy this season, I have never had words to describe that experience.

That is a gift this show has given me, a way to communicate things that I always felt my words fell short of reaching.

I wouldn't wish the level of trauma Carmy has experienced on anyone, but I wish this season garnered more empathy and less contempt.

I have frequently been described as high-functioning, resilient, and well-adjusted, but like all three of these seasons of The Bear have portrayed in stark relief, no amount of achievement can undo what you do not want to confront.

It's a cliche possibly, but the ways in which Carmy is portrayed as having it all together while not at all... A fine dining restaurant is the perfect place to not have shit together while outwardly pretending.

The messiness and utter raw emotion of it was painfully endearing. I didn't watch this season and see a monster, I saw someone desperately trying to figure out how he can feel better, and everyone around him failing to realize the depth of his suffering.

This season is so human. I saw someone say that this was a cooking show about grief and now it's a grief show about cooking, and a part of me wants to yell THE COOKING WAS A TRICK SUCKERS. IT WAS ABOUT GRIEF THE WHOLE TIME which feels painfully obvious, but based on the reactions, I think a lot of people were not expecting such a grief forward season.

I understand this show was a big swing and was not giving you almost any of what most people wanted or expected, but for me my favorite art is when I get the thing I least expected. And that was painfully true of this season. I didn't want one of my favorite and most painfully tender shows to present me with a season that laid bare a lot of things I had intended to hide away from, but I am better for it.

Even if you didn't like the season, I hope you came away with a sense of empathy for those who have experienced trauma as layered and ongoing as Carmy.

I have for a long time struggled with the idea that I was a perfect victim. I outwardly made the correct choices, and mostly acted in ways that turned my suffering inwards not outwards. I did not feel afforded the luxury in life of taking it out on other people.

Watching this season felt like a window into my id. The version of me that maintained a high level of function, but indulged in many of my worst impulses, not turning them inward and burying them down. The contrast of the way Syd reacts to the trauma of being left alone on friends and family and throughout the renovation vs Carmy feels like a near perfect study in the contrast of expectations for male and female trauma victims.

Syd keeps it all inside and punishes only herself, because to do anything else would sabotage the career she has worked so hard to build. It feels like an obvious statement to make, but feels so much less obvious when the only place it feels like the pain can go is inward.

The panic attack at the end of the season is the physical manifestation of her body no longer being able to contain all the pain she's turned inward. It has to go somewhere and there's no control over when that happens.

I'm not sure if I am simply drawing obvious conclusions everyone else has already come to, but I wanted to reflect on how human this show really is. It is beautiful and artistic and a work of art but it is also messy and human and realistic in ways that set my teeth on edge.

I understand if season 3 wasn't the full course meal you were expecting, but I hope you'll find compassion and empathy for those who felt it to be a slightly abrasive but ultimately satisfying Tuesday surprise.

[shotmrmiller]

Hello, is this the place anons come to vent about their life? No? Well, here's my current situation. A guy I really liked made me have a situationship with him and I didn't even know, we had been going around with him inviting me over to his house to watch movies or play video games etc. It would always end in sex, even when I was actually looking forward to the movie or video game. As soon as he came, he would go, "Oh God, look at the time! You should go home!" "Well that was great. See ya next time!" I never! In the two years this went on came not even ones!! Sometimes we didn't even had penetration! I just gave him half a blowjob and he would cum. It always made me feel really bad he would always "make it up to me" with taking me out to eat. But either way, it always ended in sex. Fast forward a few days ago he texted me saying he actually wanted to build a friendship with me and get to actually know each other. And that he was very sorry about everything and he wanted to keep talking with me. I said yeah it was fine,but he did actually make me feel like shit. We talked things through, and he agreed to take me out to eat the next day at around 8. He didn't. Didn't answer my calls or texts for the next three days. In fact, he deleted me out of every single social media he had added me in. A couple of days later (this past Thursday), I go to the wedding of a mutual friend we have, and guess what. He has a girlfriend which he already has like 9 months of dating! He had the balls to go the table I was sitting with a couple of mutual friends and introduce her to us! And she's so freaking pretty I feel so horrible. I want to strangle him so bad it's not even a joke anymore i feel like a fool and a complete idiot :'(

and you're not telling her??? that he was cheating??? ohhhh i'd be giving graphic detail of what that pathetic gummy worm looks like just in case she wanna side with that waste of oxygen. i'm saddened for you that it went on for this long. terrible sex, no orgasms and HEAD??? i wouldn't be giving head without reciprocity to NO ONE!! but then again i went through this exact heartbreak back when i was 15 so i saw the light a lot sooner i reckon. (don't) fuck him, fuck the girl he with and focus on ya self. he sounds the type to send you a 2 am wyd text in the middle of the week id block and move on. anytime he wanna slink back like the worm he is you can pretend you don't know the bloke. new phone who dis.

seriously though i'm sorry :( forget what she does or does not look like none of that matters. worthless boys like him will treat you like garbage even if you're beyoncé herself. you nor your looks were the problem here, he was.

wash your hands clean of that filth. good fucking riddance. your broken heart will mend with time but he'll remain someone even his mama grimaces while thinking about. i wish i could give you hugs 🫂 and if i was near you i'd drive around his house with the lights off cuz now it's on sight. hope he ages like milk left out in the sun, that stupid ogre.

much, much love. drink your water, take your meds if you have any and eat well 💗 this too shall pass.

[fcknstar]

Hey, how are you?

I would like to make a wish for number 3

Of the character Marcus Lopez

(If possible, could the jealousy be on the part of the reader?)

,, building blocks "

pairings : marcuslopez x fem!reader ( lara )

summary : sometimes you cant force yourself to do things you dont want, maybe this time you can.

content warnings : jealousy, (possible) unrequited love.

** lowercase intended **

it was normal for people to make friends..right? new student, getting to know one another from their own category. what more can one ask for? 

it was rare to see students from different ranks mix, too rare. but here you are, watching saya wrap her hands around marcus. a sickening sight for you. you and saya relatively knew marcus at the same time, hers more intimate. you cant help but sigh at the thought that marcus might not even consider you as a friend. he should be lucky you were there to stop chiko from slicing his throat the first time he met him. 

" pretty rancid, mate? tough love, tough love. " lex appeared next to you, smoking a blunt. 

" im not in love with marcus. "

" who said anything about him? " 

" fuck you. " lex sighed. he knew you for long enough to read you like a book. it was like reading in another language, you just got to guess and hope for the best. lex was always lucky. 

" c'mon, lara. him? you could do so much better. " willie stood next to you. 

" willie, dont be a dick. " lex sighed. 

" well, its in his name. cant blame him. " you earned a nudge from willie, who glared at you. lex on the other hand, cheered you on. 

" atta girl! "

" atta girl. " willie mocked, " shes not your girl. "

" well, she can be. " lex winked at you. 

you can't help but think whether you just were jealous because you cared about him, or that you cared about him too much that you heart beats faster, threatening you. 

laughing at the possibility of you liking marcus, you invited lex and willie to grab a drink, trying to drown the thoughts of what saya and marcus may be doing. 

★

" hey lara! " marcus happily planted himself by your side the next morning. 

" morning. " you bluntly reply, the said thoughts also planting itself in your mind almost immediately. 

" i didnt see you at the party last night, where were you? "

" i- " you were rudely interrupted by lex. 

" well mate, she was there. you were just too busy with saya to even notice. " lex often had no filter. 

" lex- " you were then rudely interrupted by marcus. 

" you were? shit, im sorry- "

" its whatever. " shit. that was the wrong response. it made you sound like you were hurt, and you often put a tough facade. its fine was always your go to answer, but what happened just now just slipped, like how your heart started to slip through its designated holder, right into marcus hands. 

you continued to walk as if everything was alright, lex pursing his lips with marcus struggling to get a word out. he had felt guilty for not seeing you when he begged you to come to the party with him and the rest, quoting that you can protect them. but that feeling fell when he saw saya. 

" hey saya! "  he greeted with much more enthusiasm than how he greeted you. its not like you payed attention. but there he is, following says like a lost puppy. 

" fucking hell, love. think you might wanna cut ties with him. " 

" dont you think that's a bit far fetch? " i stopped walking, turning to him. 

" well no? with the way he just left us, i mean you for her? woah. id be lucky to even have you breathing the same air as me. " 

" its fine lex.. "

" its most definitely is not. i can see that you like him, or i think you do. and hes not worth the time. your time! " 

" and i should be taking advice from a guy who sniffs the live out of glue? " you chuckle. it was fun having lex around, he knew how to stand his own ground and knew how to influence others to do the same. 

★ 

you thought about what lex said. you didnt want to just break off a friendship just because your heart ached whenever he was with someone and not you. maybe you should have just cut off your feelings because marcus eventually caught on to the sudden changes in your behavior. 

" hey lara. " he greeted. 

you just hummed. just like clockwork, you would just hum. not even share a word with him. not even a glance. the star he once saw in your eye whenever he was around just vanished. he noticed how you hung out with your own league more, besides lex and petra. 

" look saya, i really need to go now. " he winced before running off. him and saya was just having their own time chatting and drinking when he noticed the time. 8.15pm. he was late, 15 minutes late. it was the time whenever you had to spare. he knew, because you would often spend that time with him even if it was your only time to breathe. but you chose it to be with him. 

marcus ran to your dorm, praying you were still in there. 

" lara! " he saw you turn in confusion, after shutting your dorm room door. 

" hey. " he greeted, properly. 

" hi. " you never say hi. unless you want nothing with the said person. 

" you free? or… " he glanced at your outfit which looked like you were dressing up for a date. that made him furrow his eye brows, heart sinking lower into the depths. 

" no. why? " you dryly replied. 

" well, you wanna go out? spend some time together like we used to? " he offered. 

you had worked so hard rebuilding your guard that he easily broke down like building blocks. and now it was shaking. 

[moonchildstyles]

announcement and sneak peak!!

:)))))) hi guys!!!!

I know ive been taking a writing break for quite a while for while and have gotten a few questions asking when id be back and I finally have an answer!!!

starting on Friday, May 5th, ill be back to posting on patreon with an exclusive fic! I will be posting the first part on Tumblr on Friday, the 19th! It's an au where Harry is a guardian angel who's taking care of y/n and ends up falling in love of course:)))))

It's 6 parts long and I'm so excited to be back with new writing! I also have a Pinterest board up so you can get a good idea of the vibe!

If you feel so inclined to sign up to read this new piece, please wait until May 1st! If you sign up anytime before then, it'll charge you again on the 1st anyway, and I don't want that to happen!! Under the cut I'll leave a sneak peek of the fic, but if anyone has any questions you can def send me a message whenever!!

thank you all so much for being so patient with me and taking the time to read my stuff! A new Tumblr fic will be coming this summer :)

—————

Nonetheless, Harry could still feel his heart breaking as he gazed over her. 

To anyone else, she may have looked like a girl resting after a long day, but Harry knew better. He saw all the signs. He'd seen the pile of dishes in her sink, her hair was thrown on the top of her head instead of her usual braid back, and her book of choice for the evening was a comfort novel she turned to when she was in need of lighter thoughts. Her heart had been broken today. Most likely by her own hand. 

That was the hardest part, Harry thought as he swept across her floor with silent steps. Knowing that she didn't have to go through this if she was just a little kinder to herself. 

Her strawberry shaped diffuser dispersed her favorite blend of lavender essential oil and vanilla fragrance through her room, the scent wafting around him with the help of the span of his wings. Another comfort, he knew; something to soothe the cracks in her heart she was able to ignore for majority of her day until she was left alone with the stars. It was harder for her when the sun went down. 

With her wish echoing in his head, Harry took careful steps towards her bed. The melancholy in her house lingered with every step, his gaze stuck to her face to ensure she wasn't spiralling into any bad dreams. All he wanted was to comfort her. 

That was the thought he had in his head when he sat down on the edge her bed, her legs just behind him, as he tucked his wings close to his shoulder blades. Ensuring he didn't jostle her as he settled on the mattress, he felt his breath seize when he saw the details of her face under the pale starlight. He'd been close to her before, but this was different. 

Her tear tracks sparkled like the stars that lined his home in the clouds, casting pastel shadows over her face with cool blues and purples. The shape of her lips was even more pronounced given the length of her crying; though he didn't care for the cause, the effect was his favorite. Her skin shone like silk; delicate like the lashes lining her eyes, tiny creases and lines that showed that there still were days that made her smile. Despite the fact he was the one with wings pinned to his back, he swore she was the angelic one of the two. 

Breathtaking; that was all that was running through his mind. She was too pretty when she cried, it wasn't fair. 

His hands fisted in his lap as he wondered what it would feel like to cradle her cheek in his palm. Would she be as warm as he dared to allow himself to imagine, or would she be cool and dewy like the clouds above? Would it be such a bad thing to reach out and test his theories? Besides, he knew from the other guardians that sometimes the touch from an angel can help heal the ailments of their charges. While he doubted he could fix everything that was hurting her tonight, maybe he could soften the sharp edges of her broken heart. 

Uncurling his fingers from the fist he had made in his lap, Harry reached out with a tentative hand. 

Harry's fingertips touched her skin first, the warmth of her skin rivalling the sun at that slight brush alone. The pads of his lean fingers mapped the round of her cheek as he skimmed over her skin, his palm coming to cup around her face. She was soft like clouds and smooth like silk, a creamy warmth bleeding into his skin that Harry didn't think could come from anyone but this woman. His fingers breached her hairline, soft baby hairs curling around his digits while the curve of her cheek molded into the ridges and lines of his palm. 

A platinum warmth was felt bubbling under his skin. That had to be what his friends had talked about—the healing touch of a guardian. It may not be a physical pain he wanted to save her from, but he hoped this touch might be able to soothe her some, even in her sleep. 

Looking at her now, under the guise of pale moonlight with his palm holding her carefully, he wanted nothing more than for her to be able to feel the affection he felt for her. She had no idea how cared for and loved she was—even by people she didn't see all that often now that she had moved on her own. She had no idea how much he cared for her. 

What a special girl she was, he thought as he tentatively ran the pad of his thumb over the height of her cheekbone. Half of her wish was about how much she wanted to give love to others, wishing that privilege upon someone else who he would bet would never really deserve someone quiet as divine as her; selfishness didn't even come to her when she was alone. 

His wish was a hope that there was someone out there that could show her how much she was loved. Someone like him, even though he didn't dare linger on that thought for too long. 

He would find a way to make her wishes come true. He knew he would, that much he'd promise even if he couldn't tell her. 

A tiny smile crossed her features as (Y/N) pressed her cheek into Harry's hand. Pride puffed at his chest, his wings spanning behind him as if he could create a shield around their moment. Even if she wasn't aware, at least she could feel the way he cared for her. 

—————

ahhhh thank you sooooo much for reading I really hope you guys are as excited as I am!

[kayakoto-enterprises]

Why do you look at me like that?

Total disappearance from this world. Another minific.

Despite having so much of everything, Julianne consistently wears one peculiar accessory. On her chest is a heart shaped shell. It opens to reveal the bear's blurred reflection, framed by a heart ouline one is supposed to slip a photo into. Sam carefully clicks the locket close and lets it slip off her hand to not wake the sleeping feline.

Should she be mad that she wasn't in it? Was Julianne going to put a photo of someone, something else? Well of course Julianne is still going to find a way to put her likeliness in it. But of course you just had to outright reject the offer to be immortalized in a meaningful way.

When Samantha dies, so will her family and their legacy. The grip of fear the Strong family held ob the town slowly thawed out in each passing generation. People began to forget what it was they did or if they could ever be trusted. Some people held on to their prejudices and for this reason, a muzzle was put on every family member to contain them- behave them to prevent any more scrutiny. But it wasn't just muzzles. There were whips. Chains. Collars. Cages. That obsession to transition into prey held power in her already lost mind. She broke the unspoken pact of being good and now that she did: there was no other option left than to die herself. To avoid getting caught or remembered, she employed a no photos rule. Minimal photographs. No press images. Not even more than the necessary IDs. One day these will crinkle and degrade and her existence might just be a footnote in the town's expansive history.

Other than that, the thought of being looked at sickened her. Number two reason for having a no photos rule? Nigel fucking Albright. He had everything. Every moment she had alone. Every sight of skin and fur, every moment of peace all in the palm of his hand. She imagines what he might have done looking at them then wishes she could shoot him in the face again. Again abd again.

No one should be able to look at her that way. With adoration and obsession.

Though it'd be unfair to call what Julianne has in her heart obsession. Julianne barely makes eye contact. She has difficulty looking at people in the eyes. She wanders and only focuses on a person when they aren't looking her way. Sam had caught her staring at her longingly before and after they had gotten together. At first she swore she was going to firmly tell her to not do that. But she forgets the first few times, and then she just accepts it. It was a different flavor of staring, perhaps. It was laced with adoration and longing.

What could you be longing for?

Her head is tilted when she stares. Sometimes she slowly blinks and looks away momentarily. Suddenly it feels as if it were fine if someone was to look at her that way. Closing your eyes to forget for a second her existence, closing her eyes to forget what she looked like only to open and remember.

Whatever it was, Julianne looked at her and asked if she could have a small photo of her. An ID photo, maybe.

"No. I don't really feel comfortable having my photos taken. I don't want anything about me circulated around."

Julianne frowned.

The next day, Julianne wore a silver heart locket reminiscent of the one from Annie. There was nothing inside it. Sam figured that she might ask again for a photo but this time, she just said she'll be looking for photos of Roy G. Biv the magician to go along with it.

Something about that made her weirdly jealous.

Thinking of how the photo would lay in Julianne's hands, it's a lot more sincere...the photo is kept in a locket. It is closed for majority of the time its worn. But secretly when no one is looking, she'll open the locket and stare. Stare with the same adoration and longing.

Pure. It sounded so pure. Maybe she was mythifying her, but Julianne had proven to just be so..careful. She wouldn't do the same sins, right?

But it's too late to take back the offer.

[slipping-through-my-fingertips]

Mechanical Bulls and Prom Dates

AO3

Summary:

While the boys in their friend group debate who could last the longer on a mechanical bull, Annabeth and Piper make a bet of their own about getting each other a date to the prom.

There are days where Annabeth wishes she knew Percy Jackson sooner. They had met in the fifth grade when Annabeth transferred schools. Which means she remembers the three years he had braces and constantly got gum stuck in the wires and he knew her before she learned to tame her blonde curls and mostly hid her hair inside beanies.

She spent so much of her middle school years at Percy’s apartment, watching cookies bake and doing homework at the kitchen table. Sally sometimes braided Annabeth’s hair in the summer before they went to the community pool. They were as close as two people could be.

But on days like today, Annabeth half-wishes she never knew him at all.

She catches him hunching over her favorite table in their high school library. It’s situated in the corner by the only working window which lets in a wonderful breeze on spring days like today. Percy’s sitting with some of their other friends: Jason, Leo, and Grover.

One might think the four boys are in deep discussion about something important—like the science fair project Annabeth is planning on working on during her free period—but no, Annabeth knows better.

“Listen, I could easily last 30 seconds,” Leo is saying, always the one to go for the long shot.

Despite their antics, Annabeth is actually glad to know them. Not that she’s ever admitted it to their faces. At the very least, they keep her life interesting.

Annabeth leans over Grover’s shoulder and sees a crude drawing of what she assumes is a mechanical bull. Grover has the heart of an artist but not the skill.

“Don’t tell me this is your idea of a science fair project?” She asks.

The boys all jump except her best friend; Percy is grinning at her. That troublemaker smirk that makes her want to hit him before he even replies with a smartass remark.

“If you must know,” Leo tells her, “we’re taking bets.”

Without thinking, she asks, “On what?”

“How long we could each last on a mechanical bull ride,” Jason says.

“Except there’s no winning because we’ll never be able to ride one,” Grover adds, though he doesn’t sound saddened by this fact.

Annabeth is calmly laying out her notebook and colored pencils to begin her own sketch for her science fair project as the boys continue arguing over who’d last longer and how they could test their theories with a mechanical bull.

Leo is in the middle of regaling about how he could build one when Annabeth decides to interject. Never one to hold back on shock value, Annabeth simply says, “there’s a bar on Clover Street that has one,” which causes Jason and Leo to whip their heads over to her.

She ignores them. Mostly because she doesn’t want to divulge her favorite spot in town—a combination book store and bar. It just happens to be within walking distance of said bar with the bull. Aptly named Mino-bar, a play on words of minotaur.

Annabeth has walked past it many times on her way to Boozy Books. She could fully escape there if she needed to as it was the only place in town where no one knew where to find her, except Thalia.

“So we settle up our bets and wait til we turn 21,” Jason says.

“Thalia can get you fakes,” Annabeth comments without looking up from her notebook.

Once again shocking the boys.

“I don’t know why you’re all so surprised, especially you Jason, didn’t Thalia offer to get you fake ids?”

“Um no!” Grover exclaims, “but she clearly got you one.”

Annabeth shrugs. Unwilling to admit to her trips to Boozy Books. It isn’t like she really used the fake id to get alcohol that much.

The volume of their arguing was getting louder.

“Alright losers, you need to quiet down before we all get kicked out of here,” Annabeth says, “I have a half hour left to get started on this project and I intend to do just that.”

To their credit, the boys do settle down. Grover even joins Annabeth and pulls out some homework to complete.

By lunch the following day, Annabeth is hopeful that the mechanical bull bets have been forgotten but as she approaches their normal table Jason and Leo are deep in conversation about it.

“Thalia said she’d get us fakes but it’ll take some time,” Jason is telling him.

Annabeth rolls her eyes.

Finally, Piper sits down across from Annabeth.

“Did you get number 24 on the calc homework?” She asks, immediately digging through her back bag for the worksheet.

With Piper there, she is able to tune out the boys until of course the calc homework is put away, their lunches are just empty wrappers, and Piper finally engages the rest of their table in conversation by asking what on earth they spent the last twenty minutes arguing about.

“Mechanical bulls!” Leo and Percy exclaim.

Why, oh, why did Annabeth continue to put up with this?

“Right.” Piper raises her eyebrows at Annabeth, who sighs in response.

Jason goes onto explain the betting and fake id issue.

“Why didn’t you just ask your sister?” Piper says, “she got Annabeth and I fakes forever ago.”

By forever ago, Piper meant Freshman year. Though, Annabeth hasn’t really used it until this past summer. Unless the three girls are trying to sneak in to see a band.

“Et tu Brute!” Grover yells, “everyone but us got fakes.”

“What would you even use a fake for?” Percy asks him.

Grover mumbles, “I don’t know but it might come in handy.”

Annabeth tries to cover her laughter with a cough but once Piper snorts, she couldn’t help but join her friends. They sober up when the bell rings.

“C’mon Chase,” Piper says, lopping their arms together, “onto calculus we go.”

“How goes the plan to ask Jason to senior prom?” Annabeth asks.

Her face reddens.

“Shove it.”

Annabeth smirks as they walk into the classroom. Only after Piper has gotten her textbook, calculator, and notebook out, does she look at Annabeth sitting at the desk next to her.

“I want him to ask me,” she admits, not for the first time, “but I know he won’t. He’s too unsure of himself even when I’ve been pretty obvious with my feelings.”

To be fair to Piper, she has made it obvious. She flirts openly with Jason, she has gotten more physically affectionate with him—hugging him at any opportunity, and offered to partner up with him for this history presentation.

“What about you? Anyone in particular you want to take to prom?” Piper bats her eyelashes because she knows exactly who Annabeth wanted to go with.

Annabeth has spent the last 5 years crushing on her best friend. The last year of that she came to realize it was definitely more than a simple crush. She is half in love with him.

How could she not be?

Percy was so sweet and had always been there for her. They had sleepovers, spent weekends together, and tried their best to match their class schedules. He invited her to swim meets and came to all her debates. She loved his parents and little sister like they were her family. Percy bonded with her brothers and made polite conversations with her dad and stepmom. Their lives were so intertwined and had been since they met.

He made her so happy sometimes, Annabeth felt like she would burst.

“Now you can shove it,” Annabeth says.

Piper was going to continue her teasing but their teacher started talking, saving Annabeth for the time being.

Normally, Percy drives her home after school but he has extra swim practice this week because of some big tournament coming up, which meant Piper and Annabeth carpooled.

“Wanna come over?” She asks, pulling out of the parking lot.

“Only if we can get coffee first.”

“Read my mind, Chase, read my mind.”

Their favorite coffee shop is pretty quiet today so the two girls just decided to sit and do their homework there. About an hour into it, Piper abruptly closes her calc textbook and stares at her friend until Annabeth takes out her headphones, “what?”

“Percy Jackson,” Piper says, “just ask him to prom.”

“Jason Grace,” Annabeth counters, “just ask him to prom.”

“Nice try, don’t flip the script on me. You’ve been crushing hard lately.”

“Oh and you haven’t?”

“I’m trying to get him to ask me, you my friend aren’t even trying.”

Annabeth sighs, “Percy is my best friend.”

“And he’s also in love with you but whatever,” Piper says, quietly, “you just don’t see the way he looks at you.”

She had heard this before from Piper. But if that were true why hadn’t Percy made a move to ask her out? Nothing about their relationship had changed.

“I’ve been noticing since we were freshman,” Piper continues, “I swear you’re just blind to it because you’ve known him so long. He’s probably been looking at you like this for years and you just needed me to point it out.”

“Fine,” Annabeth replies, “let’s make a bet.”

“Oh? What kind of bet?”

“Let’s see which one of us can get a prom date for the other first. I’ll handle Jason, you handle Percy.”

Since Piper is so confident that Percy returns Annabeth’s feelings, it should be easy for her. Annabeth considers herself to be pretty persuasive and knows Jason just needed a nudge in the right direction to finally ask Piper.

“And the winner gets?” Piper inquires.

“Bragging rights for one, a date to prom, and…”

“And the loser has to ride the mechanical bull when the boys go.”

Annabeth sticks her hand out across the table for Piper to shake.

“You’re on, McLean.”

Annabeth spends the next two days plotting. It has been a while since Piper and her had this intense of a bet going and frankly Annabeth wants to win.

After all, she had won the last two times. Typically their bets were about the love lives of other people.

The first being how long it would take their mutual friends Frank and Hazel to start dating. Piper had insisted on 3 months, but Annabeth knew how shy the two underclassmen were and said 6. The second, about an impending breakup between Drew and some college guy she’d been seeing.

This time is different. By the end of it, hopefully one of them would have a boyfriend and hopefully it would be Piper.

She knows exactly where to find Jason during their shared free period: in the gym shooting baskets. There are some other students hanging out in the gym. A group of girls playing volleyball.

“Hey, Jase!” Annabeth calls out.

Jason dribbles his basketball and walks over to her.

“Shouldn’t you be studying in the library?”

“Haha, I don’t spend every second studying, Jason.”

Though she had been in the library doing some homework.

He sits down on the bleachers. “So, what’s up?”

“Well, prom is coming up…”

“Let me stop you right there, I’m honored and all but I know someone else who would much rather take you.”

“Look Jason, that’s not what this is,” Annabeth tells him, now curious as to who wanted to ask her to prom, “I wanted to know if there was anyone you were thinking of asking?”

She swears Jason is blushing but maybe he’s just warm from basketball.

“And if I did?”

“Let’s just say I have a vested interest in who you take.”

Jason nods but didn’t say anything more.

Annabeth wants to pull the information from him but the bell rings signaling the end of her free period.

Maybe this isn’t going to be as easy as she first thought. Hopefully, Piper is having similar difficulties.

During lunch, Annabeth hopes to steal a moment with Jason again to ask him but she also doesn’t want to alert Percy. Thankfully, Hazel does most of the work for her. She appears at the table, her lunch tray in one hand and Frank holding the other.

“So…let’s talk prom! I want to know everything since Frank and I won’t be there.”

The juniors had already had their prom just a week ago. Hazel had worn a gorgeous turquoise gown.

“Can I please go dress shopping with you?” She asks.

“Of course,” Piper says, “you’re always invited along. Not sure when we’ll be going yet.”

“It’s still 3 weeks away,” Annabeth adds.

Hazel nods. “Are you planning on asking anyone?” She directs this query at the boys since she already knew who Annabeth and Piper wanted to go with.

“I asked Juniper forever ago,” Grover says, “she’s wearing this lacy green dress.”

“Ooo do you have pics?” Hazel asks.

Grover, of course, does. It’s a beautiful dress, Annabeth has to admit. Juniper is stunning in just jeans, she was going to blow them all away at prom.

“Leo? Jason? Percy? Any plans for prom dates?”

Leo shrugs, “you know me, fighting off the advances.”

Hazel rolls her eyes. “Waiting for the right girl?”

Leo winks. “You know it.”

The right girl happens to be the head cheerleader who never spared Leo a second glance. Annabeth isn’t sure why he’s still vying for her attention.

“I’ve got the right girl, just waiting for the right time,” Jason says.

He’s blushing a little and wouldn’t meet Annabeth’s gaze. She takes that as a good sign. Clearly he does intend to ask Piper. Now all Annabeth has to do was create the right moment.

In the midst of planning Piper’s perfect prom-posal, Annabeth misses part of Percy’s answer.

“…I just don’t know if she’s interested in me.”

Grover pats his shoulder and lovingly says, “you’re an idiot.”

Which causes Leo to burst into laughter to the point of crying, “Grover and I don’t agree often dude so you know we’re right.”

Clearly, Percy has someone he wants to ask too. With the way Piper is beaming at Annabeth, her friend obviously thought the girl was Annabeth.

Of course, it’s then the lunch bell rings. Annabeth finds herself walking to class with Piper at her side still wondering what kind of girl wouldn’t be interested in Percy.

He’s kind beyond belief. He’s extremely loyal, defending his best friends to the death. He’s smart—more street than book sometimes.

“Annabeth,” Piper says, obviously not for the first time. “I asked what you’re thinking about over there.”

“Huh?”

Piper widens her eyes and does a dramatic eye roll with a knowing smirk on her face. She then leans in and whispers, “I’m going to win.”

Friday is Percy’s big swim meet. Their friend group shows up in all shades of blue to support him. They don’t care if it isn’t school colors, Percy knows the blue is just for him. Thalia, of course, shows up in the darkest shade possible. She’s hardly ever seen in bright colors.

Having graduated 2 years ago, seeing Thalia walk these halls is a little weird. Realistically, it wasn’t that long ago that Thalia sat with them at lunch or passed Annabeth in the hallway between fifth and sixth period. But somehow so much has changed.

“Is it me or did the school get smaller?” Thalia says, leading against the wall by the boy’s locker room.

“It’s you,” Leo says.

She glares at him, “it was rhetorical, dummy.”

“Cmon, let’s go in, Jason saved us seats,” Annabeth tells them.

Jason is spread out in the third row of bleachers. Annabeth sits closest to him, Thalia files in next, then Piper, and finally Leo. Grover was supposed to meet them here too but Annabeth can’t spot him. She vaguely remembers during lunch Grover mentioning something about seeing Juniper so maybe he’s inviting her to join them.

“Before I forget,” Thalia says, “here.”

She passes Jason an ID.

“Oh wow, thanks.”

“In public really?” Annabeth chides.

“What? At least it’s not drugs,” Piper teases.

“And mine?” Leo asks.

Thalia stares at him, pointedly. “I feel like you have to earn it.”

“There’s money at stake here, how come I have to earn it?”

“Money?” Thalia questions, “I need to be filled in. A girl misses one weekend hangout and suddenly no one tells her anything.”

“To be fair, they only came up with this on Monday,” Piper says.

“Picture this,” Leo says, “All 7 of us sitting around a bar, sipping beer…”

“I’m not having a beer,” Annabeth cuts in.

“Okay, us boys drinking beer…”

“I don’t want beer either,” Jason says.

“Does one of you want to take over this story?”

Jason and Annabeth share a look.

“We’re betting on who can last the longest on a mechanical bull,” Jason tells his sister.

“Tell you what, I want in on this bet,” Thalia replies, “and I’ll give you this,” she dangles the fake ID in front of Leo’s face, “if our boy Percy places top 3 today.”

Leo looks a little worried but Annabeth doesn’t know why because Percy is definitely going to place top 3.

“Hey everyone!”

“Nothing like being here at the last minute,” Jason says.

Grover shrugs. He’s holding hands with Juniper, which Thalia isn’t about to let slide without commentary.

“Who’s the girl?” She whispers to Annabeth.

“His girlfriend.”

“Thalia!” Grover says, “I didn’t see you there.”

They awkwardly hug in the bleachers.

“This is Juniper,” he introduces, “Juniper, this is Thalia.”

“Hi,” Juniper says, “it’s nice to finally meet you. Grover talks about you a lot.”

“Aw, that’s cute Grover.” Thalia puts a hand over her heart. “I am pretty great so that makes sense.”

Annabeth has no idea if anything more is said because Percy and his team are walking out towards the pool.

He’s in his usual swim uniform in their school colors but Annabeth’s transfixed. He’s always looked good in green. Even if the uniforms did no one any favors, Percy still managed to draw eyes. Annabeth knew there were other girls who came just to watch him swim.

She dreaded the day he turned around to the bleachers and smiled up at one of them instead of her.

Percy’s little fan club consisted of a few sophomore girls. She didn’t know their names but they were quite obviously fawning over Annabeth’s best friend.

But Percy pays them no mind. Instead, he finds his friends in the crowd. Percy lights up when he spots them and waves aggressively at them.

“What a dork,” Thalia whispers but she’s waving back like the rest of them.

The match is long.

“Mommm, are we there yet?” Leo asks, in a high pitched voice.

“How much longer?” Jason adds.

Annabeth checks her phone. “Maybe a half hour?” She says.

Percy is currently warming the bench. He finished his individuals and now was waiting for his relay.

He’s fiddling with his phone, which Annabeth knows he’s not supposed to do. But meets are long and their coach knows it. He’s usually a little more understanding especially if it’s just sending a quick text like Percy is doing.

Percy: bored yet?

Annabeth: the boys are Annabeth: well Jason is fine, Leo and Grover are tired lol

Percy: no surprise there

A whistle blows and Percy tucks his phone away again. In no time, he’s back in the pool.

If he wins this race he’ll place second. At least, Annabeth thinks he will. Scoring for swimming is still a bit confusing. Mostly because she’s not focusing in on the coaches and every time she thinks to ask Percy, he distracts her with some silly antidote.

When the last whistle blows, the teams are toweled and waiting for results. It doesn’t take long, thankfully, to get scores.

Annabeth can’t keep the cheers in when they declare Percy as second. In fact, their whole group jumps up and starts chanting his name.

They celebrate with milkshakes at their favorite ice cream shop. There they make plans to go ride the mechanical bull at Mino-Bar the following weekend.

“I believe I owe you this,” Thalia says, sliding her hand across the table to Leo, “Percy pulled through.”

“Percy did what?” Percy asks.

“Placed top 3,” Jason fills him in.

“Unsurprisingly,” Piper adds.

Thalia picks up her hand revealing Leo’s fake ID underneath, “and I believe I said I want in on this bet.”

Leo pulls out his phone where he’s been keeping a list.

“Place your bet, mamacita.”

She plucks Leo’s phone straight from his hands and types in her guess. Thalia hands it back and grips his wrist, “call me that again and I’ll kill you.”

“She won’t,” Annabeth says, noticing their waitress has returned with their check. “She’s kidding.”

Jason is the last one easing out of their booth so Annabeth waits for him. Plus, she knows their group is going to the small lobby to huddle around the singular claw machine they still have. Percy’s on this mission to win a stuffed animal from it; he’s been attempting each time they come to no avail.

She’s not even sure why he wants one so bad. Maybe it’s just the success of winning he’s after. Percy’s always been pretty competitive. Even if the game is against a literal machine.

“Alright Jason, when are you asking Piper to prom?”

It’s time for a direct approach.

He freezes for a moment.

“I don’t know how,” he admits, “I think it needs to be special because…well…”

“It’s not just prom you’re after, you want to ask her out. I know.”

The two of them had only been flirting for the last year. It’ll be a relief to all of them when Jason and Piper finally get together. Though, their PDA might quickly become worse than the yearning.

Jason widens his eyes but out of all their friends Annabeth is the most likely to have clocked his feelings for Piper. It really shouldn’t have been that surprising.

“When did you figure it out?” he asks.

“Don’t worry, you’re only being obvious to me.”

He seems relieved. Annabeth gains nothing from letting him know Piper feels the same way. At this moment, it’s irrelevant for Jason to know of Piper’s feelings nor does she want to betray her friend's trust.

“Well, I’ve got stuff riding on this so we need a plan.”

So, they make plans to hangout.

As predicted the rest of the group is intently watching as Percy battles with the claw machine. Today’s prize he’s after seems to be a little gray owl stuffed animal. He loses.

“Out of quarters ‘’til next time,” he declares.

“Leo, I assume you want a ride home?” Piper asks.

“Yes ma’am.”

“Annabeth, you with me?” Percy questions, already dangling his keys.

They live close enough that he’s usually her ride.

“Not today, Jackson. I got plans with Jason.”

Percy’s smile drops. “Since when?”

“Don’t fret, I’ll still come over for dinner as promised. Tell Sally not to worry.”

It’s tradition after his swim meets to have dinner together. Annabeth loves his family. And Sally’s cooking.

“Okay.”

Thalia gives them a weird once over but says nothing. Thankfully, Grover breaks the tension that suddenly bubbles up by calling out after him, “wait up, Perc!” And ends up in the passenger seat.

“I’ll see you all Monday,” Piper says before getting into her car.

Jason, Annabeth, and Thalia all cross the lot and piled into Jason’s car.

On Monday, their plan is set into action.

It’s simple. Go up to her at her locker at the end of the day and ask. Straightforward, to the point.

An unmistakable ask to the prom. Thus creating a winner for their bet. No room for argument, which is good because Piper is a brilliant debater.

Of course, when the time comes with Annabeth watching from a safe distance, Jason never shows.

She’s texting him, trying to decide if she could stall Piper.

Jason picked up after the third ring.

“I can’t do it,” he tells her, “I need a new plan.”

Annabeth sighs.

“Okay, meet me at the courts, we'll regroup.”

Jason agrees. As Annabeth turns away from Piper’s locker she bumps directly into Percy.

“Hey!”

“Oh hi, Percy.”

“Where are you off too? I was going to ask if you had time to help me with my geometry?”

She checks the time. “I can meet you at the cafe in an hour?”

Annabeth is too busy staring at Jason’s text that he’s waiting for her in the gym that she doesn’t notice Percy’s weird gaze. “Um okay. See you in an hour.”

Their next plan requires little to no talking since that seemed to be Jason’s issue today.

And everything goes wrong, again. Jason’s handmade poster—a teenage movie cliche but something Annabeth knew Piper would find charming coming from Jason—is soaked by rain. As is Jason.

There hadn’t been rain in the forecast but the skies had opened up unexpectedly as soon as they got to school that morning.

They go even simpler on Wednesday. A cup of coffee with the word “prom?” written on it.

“You brought me coffee?” Piper questions when Jason tries to hand it over. “That’s sweet but I really prefer iced.”

She shakes her iced coffee that she must’ve gotten herself this morning.

Piper is rifling through her locket when she asks, “Annabeth do you want it?”

Annabeth shares a look of disappointment with Jason, who shrugs as if to say “oh well.”

She takes the coffee from him. They walk to homeroom together.

“It’s 3 strikes and you’re out right?” Jason says, “guess I’m out.”

“No way, we will figure this out. It’s just a little string of bad luck. Piper wants to go to prom with you. Of this I’m sure.”

Jason gives her a half smile, “you never give up.”

“And I’m not letting you give up either.”

Wednesday during lunch, Annabeth, Hazel, and Piper make plans to go dress shopping after school.

Piper drives them to the mall. They start with food before going in and out of every single store with any semblance of fancy attire. Piper and Annabeth go into dressing rooms with their arms full of dresses in various sizes and colors and lengths but walk out of the stores with nothing to show for it.

In their seventh store of the afternoon, Annabeth is trying on a seafoam green dress. It’s the exact shade of Percy’s eyes, she thinks, smoothing out the gown.

“How are we doing ladies?” Hazel asks from just outside the dressing room doors.

Annabeth steps out to show off her dress at the same time Piper’s door opens. Piper is in red. It’s beautiful against her skin tone.

“This does nothing for my boobs,” she sighs.

The dress does have a weird top.

“Oh Annabeth, you look amazing,” Piper says.

“You don’t think it washes me out?”

“Not at all,” Hazel replies.

Neither girl ends up leaving the mall with their dream prom dress. They’re upset by having little prospects but it also gives them the excuse to plan another girls’ day shopping.

As much as Annabeth loves planning, she’s feeling pretty hopeless by Friday. A whole week of prom plans gone awry. Annabeth’s not sure how many more cute ways to ask someone to prom she can think of.

She doesn’t see any of her friends in the hallway on the way to her locker. Not even Jason, which is odd since he’s normally standing at his own locker. Maybe he came up with his own plan to ask Piper to prom; Piper’s locker is on the other side of the building. Annabeth can only hope that’s where he is. She still really wants to win this bet.

Plus, she doesn’t think Piper’s made much progress on the Percy front. In fact, Percy hadn’t made any attempt to ask Annabeth to prom. Though she hadn’t seen much of him this week either. Beyond a little homework help, lunch, and their shared classes.

This weekend, she vows she’ll make time for her best friend. Prom schemes have taken up too much of her time. Sure, she wants to stick it to Piper but she also doesn’t want to neglect Percy.

Annabeth opens her locker and her heartbeat skips. Sitting on top of her calculus textbook is a small stuffed animal gray owl. In its lap, a tiny little sign asking: prom?

“I figured if I was going to ask my best friend out, it had better be extra cheesy.”

She moves her locker door and finds Percy smiling at her sheepishly.

“It’s pretty cheesy, so I’d call it a success.”

“It’s only a success if you say yes.”

“Why don’t you ask me then?”

Percy gives her a look like she can’t believe she’s making him do this.

“Annabeth Chase, will you go to prom with me?”

Forgetting all about how competitive she is and how badly she wants to win her bet with Piper, Annabeth says yes.

And the way Percy hugs her makes it totally worth it.

All she can think about is going to prom with Percy. Slow dancing at prom with Percy. Drinking spiked punch at prom with Percy. She thinks about how well worth it will all be once they’re at prom together.

Percy waves at her from just outside the fenced in area around the mechanical bull. Standing next to him is Piper smirking, clearly very pleased with herself.

Their whole group of friends is here tonight at Mino-Bar. Leo and Jason had already taken their turns on the bull and been thrown off within the first few seconds. All Annabeth had to do was get on it.

No one had placed bets on her. Well, Piper had but that was about prom dates not how long she’d last on the mechanical bull.

Annabeth is competitive but she’s not a sore loser even when she has every right to be. In this case, Annabeth has every right to be.

Piper and Jason had conspired against her. All those failed attempts at asking Piper to prom were false flags. Jason had actually been nervous to ask her…months ago…before they had apparently kissed at a party.

They both claimed to not be secretly dating. In fact, they had avoided talking about it for so long because they each assumed their feelings weren’t returned. Then, Piper had overheard Jason talking about kissing her and the rest is history.

“We’ve only been talking the last week or so,” Piper told her.

“So you cheated.”

“No, it had nothing to do with Jason and me.”

“Didn’t it? That was half of the bet, Pipes.”

“Okay fine, it did but it was about prom and Percy asked you first, you knew we were going to influence each boy into asking and you never said I couldn’t influence both of them.”

“You were deliberately stopping Jason from asking you!” She exclaimed, “that’s cheating.”

“Is it?” Piper asked, innocently.

Annabeth had been frustrated with her friend but at the end of the day, she couldn’t really argue. Piper was right. It hadn’t been against the rules to deter Jason from asking Piper to prom nor had it been to deter Percy. Annabeth had just been convinced Percy wouldn’t ask…she…her pride was responsible for her current situation.

And to reclaim that hurt pride, Annabeth had one mission: stay in the bull longer than any of the boys. Then the only thing anyone will be talking about is how Annabeth somehow outwitted and outlasted them all.

She grips the handles and braces herself. Just a few seconds. Annabeth counts them in her head drowning out the shouting and the music.

One. Two. Three.

She breathes and spins and is being tossed around.

Four. Five. Six.

She’s already done it. She’s outlasted Leo and Jason. Maybe just one more…

Seven.

And all she remembers is landing on the mat. The bull must stop moving but all Annabeth sees is green. Percy’s green eyes staring down at her with a wide grin.

His eyes are still worried but he’s clearly trying to mask it.

“Did you hit your head?” He asks, attempting to help her sit up.

She doesn’t remember answering. All Annabeth can think about is kissing him. So she does. She pulls Percy on top of her, he stumbles and bumps her nose. Annabeth holds his face and presses their lips together.

[hswriting]

The Moment I Knew - Part 2

[Image Alt ID: a four picture collage with a light brown background. The top left picture is a cup of coffee and a muffin in a brown takeout box. The top right picture is a couch with blankets on it in front of a fireplace. Around the fireplace is decorated with candles and a lamp. The bottom left picture is of Harry Styles in a headband with a green microphone. This picture shows his arm tattoos. The bottom right picture is of a leather bound notebook with a brown ribbon. On the cover of the book is a butterfly. End Alt ID]

- - -

Masterlist Series Part 1 Part 3

- - -

3.4k words

- - -

Millie is going over to Harry’s house to burn her ex’s stuff he left behind.

I went to bed feeling drained last night, and while I’m still upset, I feel a bit better knowing I have Harry in my corner.

We never talked much before but we aren’t strangers. I would stay at Kellen’s a lot before, but it had since fizzled down to only once a week or so. When Kellen would have friends over at his place, Harry was always one of the first ones to arrive. He always brought food or a gift. He isn’t one of the loud, rambunctious ones of the group. He would sometimes even come to hang out with Kellen alone, but wasn’t feeling up to games or anything too high energy. I remember him being upset one time and Kellen was comforting him. Harry said he didn’t want to be alone, but he didn’t feel like doing anything. So he came over to hang out and write in his leather bound journal while Kellen and him talked. I didn’t listen in after that. I figured it was private. I went to his bedroom and played on his computer.

He definitely isn’t a stranger but I wish I knew more about him since he wants to help me through this. He said he’s been through this hurt before. Someone has taken his heart and shattered it like glass. Someone has betrayed him in the worst way. If he felt anything like I do, he has felt worthless and defeated. Not ever knowing how he will recover from it. Hopeless. And for that I am so sorry.

This is the worst kind of hurt.

I pull into the driveway of the address Harry sent me and the house is huge. It’s a beautiful two story, white brick house.

I grab the gift bag I brought him, as well as the duffle of Kellen’s stuff and the bag of snacks.

I ring the doorbell and hear footsteps. The door unlocks and opens to see Harry in some black sweat pants and a football T-shirt. His hair is not neatly done like normal, but is instead a mess of curls lying on his head.

“Millie, come in, it’s freezing out there.” He said stepping aside. I walk in and take off my heavy coat to reveal my comfort clothes. I didn’t have the energy to actually get dressed today. Just grey leggings and a plain black crop top.

“I’m sorry I look like a bum. I wasn’t really feeling it today.”

“You don’t look like a bum. You look good Millie.” He says, looking at my clothes. I remove my boots and set everything down in the living room where he has a movie on the tv and a small gift on the table.

“I brought you something too.” I tell him and hand him the bag. We unpack everything before we unwrap our small housewarming gifts. He pours out the wine I brought as I unwrap the small box on the table. It’s a small bottle of pink perfume. I spritz it and it smells wonderful. “Thank you Harry. You didn’t have to get me anything.”

“I like getting my friends gifts. And besides, you brought me one too.”

“It’s nothing. You’re helping through a really hard time. You deserve it.” I say as he unwraps his. He pulls out a new leather journal with a small H stamped on it, and a package of nice ink pens.

“I love this Millie. You have no idea.”

“I remember you used to come over and journal and write while talking to Kellen. I figured you could use a new one, if the other one is getting full. I wasn’t sure.”

“It’s wonderful Millie. I really appreciate it.” He says with a smile painted across his face. He can’t stop running his hands over the cover. He eventually does put it down to take a sip of the wine. He sits down and looks at the pile of pictures and clothes by the fireplace. I take a long sip of wine. “Are you sure you want to do this?” He asks. I nod.

“He betrayed me in the worst way. I hate him for it. Let it burn.” I say, raising my glass.

“Let it burn.” He says. I slowly pad over and pick up our first picture together. With a single tear running down my face, I toss it in the flames. It crackles and pops before dissolving to ash.

“Do you want to do one?” I ask him. He shakes his head.

“This is for you.” He says. I finish off my glass of wine and throw another picture in. Another tear rolls.

Over the next few minutes, the pictures are burned. Harry does help me cut up the clothes so they burn easier. I cry a lot, but Harry doesn’t mention it. I sit in front of the fire and watch it burn.

“What about that?” Harry says pointing. I look down at my locket and place my hand around it. “Did you want to keep it?” I open it in my hand and see our pictures. “You don’t have to throw it in if you don’t want to. I just remember the night before he gave it to you. I remember how much he said you would like it.”

“It is my favorite thing. Well, was.” I say. “But he was too. So fuck him.” I say snapping the chain off. I threw it in the fire with my eyes closed. I sit there hugging my knees. I don’t know how long I’m there but I hear Harry sit down beside me. He doesn’t touch me. He doesn’t speak for a minute, but it’s nice to know he’s there.

“I had to burn my favorite journal. My ex, she hated that I had a journal that I didn’t want anyone to read. Not even her. She made me either read it or stick it in the fire. But it was so deeply personal. It had a lot of stuff in there. That’s my therapy. But I burned it. Not because it was even about her, but because I was going to share those things when I was ready. I wasn’t going to be forced. Turns out she was paranoid that I was writing about her cheating. She thought that’s what it was. Some sort of evidence collection.” He said sorrowfully.

“I’m really sorry. That’s so awful and mean. I couldn’t imagine.” I tell him.

“It’s okay. I know what was in there. I’m working on writing it out again, while still journaling about other things.”

“That doesn’t make it right.”

“I know. I’m not making excuses for her. But I really appreciate the journal you got me. It’s really good quality and has lots of pages. It was such an amazing and thoughtful gift. I didn’t even know you remembered me coming over.”

“I don’t know what you guys talked about. I tried to give you privacy by playing games in another room.” I tell him and he gives me a small smile.

“It was a really hard time of my life, and I’m glad I had Kellen to lean on. It sucks losing your best friend, but I’ll be okay. It’s not worth being friends with someone who thinks that’s okay.”

“You really didn’t have to do that for me Harry.”

“I know, but it was such a shitty thing to do. Having been in your position before I knew you probably needed someone after what feels like your whole world falling apart. I know you have Jason’s girlfriend Rachel, but we both know how she is. No offense.”

“None taken. She is great. She can be hard to talk to about stuff like this though. You should have seen us at prom. My girlfriend dumped me the night before and I was such a mess. Rachel was worried about how I was making her look instead of my feelings. She only cares at some surface level. Never deeply.”

“I didn’t know you had a girlfriend. Didn’t we go to the same school?”

“She wasn’t out yet, and I was only out as bi to Rachel. We were going to come out by dancing together at prom. But she called me the night before and said she had to break it off with me. Her parents found out. She had to take care of that, and I understand. She had a shitty home life. It is what it is. 18 seems so distant to me now.”

“That sucks. I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“It’s okay. She’s happy now. We ran into each other at the store the other day. She’s married to a really wonderful woman. Her parents finally came around.”

“Well, that’s good. Not everyone has that kind of luck.” He says. He takes a look at his watch. I see it’s close to 9.

“I’m sorry if I’ve stayed over too long. It’s just nice to have a friend.”

“Don’t worry about it. I don’t have to work until late tomorrow.”

“Are you sure?” I ask. He nods.

“It’s no problem. But you have had a couple of glasses of wine. I know you’re not drunk, but I don’t know how safe you feel to drive.”

“It’s probably best that I don’t. I can walk back. I don’t live super far.

“Millie you’ll freeze to death out there. Let me take you. I’ve only had one glass. I can pick you up tomorrow to come and get your car before I go to work.” He says and I take a minute to think. I nod my head. I put my things in my purse and tell Harry he can keep the wine. I have more at home. I put my coat and boots back on. He walks me to the car and opens my door for me. “Do you have anything specific you want to listen to?”

“Whatever you want to listen to is okay with me.” I say and he types something in his phone.

“This band is my favorite of all time.”

“Good to know.” I tell him with a small smile and he gives me a chuckle in return. It’s a short ride, but he opens my door for me again and helps me to the door. “I really appreciate what you’ve done for me Harry. You’re a good friend. I hope we can hang out again.”

“Me too. Thank you again for the journal Millie.”

“It’s no problem. Text me when you make it back home?”

“Of course. Have a good night.” He says. He waits for me to get inside and shut the door and then gets back in his car. He drives away. I take off my coat and boots and climb straight into bed. I put on a movie and get comfortable. I see Harry text me while choosing a movie that he made it home. And with that, I fall asleep.

- - -

I wake up to a knock on my door. I get up out of bed and quickly try to make my hair look decent. I’m still in the same clothes as yesterday. I run to the door and open it to see Harry in a big, black, winter coat. He is holding two coffees in his hand. I invite him in.

“I didn’t know how you took your coffee, so I guessed on the sugar and cream. You’ll have to let me know how I did.” He said. “Also, good morning.”

“Good morning.” I say, still rubbing sleep from my eyes.

“How are you feeling?” He asks.

“So tired.” I tell him before I take a sip of the coffee. “Also, this is perfect.” I compliment.

“Good. I didn’t know if you were awake yet so I can come back if you want to get your car after you eat or what you want to do.”

“Have you eaten? I don’t really feel like cooking but we could go somewhere if you want?” I suggest.

“Sounds good to me.” He says. I go back to my room to get dressed, taking the precious coffee with me.

When I come out in just some jeans and a sweater I see Harry look me up and down.

“Doesn’t look okay? I just threw it together.”

“You look good Millie.” He says.

“Are you sure? This is an old sweater.”

“I’m sure.” He says with a smile. I tie my hair up with a scrunchie and put on my ear muffs and coat. Harry opens the door and helps me outside. He makes sure I don’t slip on the ice as we make our way to his car. He opens the door again for me. He climbs in and we are off.

“What time do you have to be at work?” I ask him.

“Noon.”

“Where do you work again?”

“I work for the animal shelter in town, but on weekends when I’m off work I’m do shows at some of the local bars and stuff.”

“Shows?”

“I write music.” He says.

“That’s so cool! I didn’t know you did that.”

“I wish I could do that full time but the money isn’t there.”

“Maybe one day it will be though.” I tell him.

“Yeah. I hope. I love writing music and getting to perform. I have a YouTube channel too. Just trying to get myself out there.”

“You got plans to travel around the world one day with your music?”

“That would be the dream.” He says as we pull into the breakfast place he chose. I beat him to opening my door and we laugh. He grabs our table for us and the waitress brings some menus. He orders some banana pancakes and I get strawberry cream filled crepes.

“Got a bit of a sweet tooth?” He asks with a smile.

“Maybe.” I joke with him.

“Now that you’re more awake, how are you?”

“I’m doing okay. I still am hurting about it, but I’m okay considering.”

“Has he tried to message you at all?”

“I blocked him that night. So I wouldn’t know.”

“Oh. Good. Probably for the best.”

“Has he been bothering you and the rest of the group?” I ask and he hesitates. “What?”

“He called me after I got home from dropping you off last night.” He finally says.

“What did he want?”

“He wanted me to get ahold of you. He wants to talk to you. Apologize. Try and fix things. He said he wasn’t the nicest person on the phone with you.” He told me and the ache in my chest that has shrunk a bit has grown back and is even bigger now.

“Yeah. He called me crazy. He blamed me for everything. I’m sorry he called you.”

“I’m sorry he said those things to you. I told him that if you wanted to speak to him to hear him out, you would, but it isn’t my job to force you to talk to him.”

“I don’t want him to apologize because even if he does, there is no fixing what he’s done. He made me feel horrible. I still feel horrible in that way. Like I wasn’t good enough for him, so I’m probably not good enough for anyone. I did my best and it wasn’t enough. I wasn’t enough.” I told Harry and he looked sad. “I’m sorry if I’m ruining your morning.”

“You could never ruin my morning. And he’s a dick for making you feel that way.” He says as he rests his hand on my hand in the table. “You are enough. You are good enough. What happened wasn’t your fault.”

“Thanks Harry.” I tell him. I glance over to our hands touching in the table. He takes it away when he notices me looking.

“I’m sorry if that was weird. I didn’t mean it to come off like that. I’m not that kind of person who-“

“It’s okay. I didn’t think it was weird. You’re just being supportive.” I tell him. It was a surprise, but it wasn’t weird. It’s was actually kind of nice. After feeling like crap the past few days any kind of touch is nice. A hug would be even better. A hug so tight that it would push the broken pieces of me back into place.

“Still, I don’t want you to think I’m trying to take advantage of your situation.”

“I didn’t think that. It was actually really nice.” I tell him and he doesn’t say anything in return. He just looks at me. He reaches down into his bag and pulls out another gift. “Harry.”

“I’m not trying to spoil you.” He says. “I like to give gifts. But I know it can make some people uncomfortable. If it does please tell me, but I thought you could use one of these too.” He says. He passes me a box. I open it to find a journal with my name printed on the front. I open it up and see a note inside.

Millie,

I hope you are able to confide in this book the deepest parts of yourself that you can’t tell anyone else. Everyone deserves that outlet. But most of all I hope that when you spill those deepest parts of yourself, you have someone, someday that you can trust enough to tell, and they love you anyways.

From H.

I feel myself tear up at the sweet words on the page. It reminds me that this hurt is temporary. I will be loved again. I will love again. This one little note helps the ache that I’ve carried for days lighten so much, that’s it’s hardly even noticeable in this moment.

“Is this okay?”

“Yes. Thank you Harry. But we are gonna have to slow down on the gifts. My wallet can’t keep up.”

“I don’t expect anything in return.”

“That’s not fair.”

“Okay. I’ll slow down, but do you like the journal?”

“I love it.” I tell him.

“Do you want to stay here and write? Or are you ready to go get your car and go home?”

“I think I’ll get my car. I really do appreciate this Harry.”

“It’s no problem.” He says. He pays the bill and I tell him that wasn’t necessary. He says it’s fine and walks me back to the car. He makes sure to beat me to my door so he can open it.

We take our time to get back to his house, just listening to music on the way there and talking about little things. Little details that help us know each other better. He doesn’t like mustard or skateboarding. He wants to get more tattoos. Music is his whole life.

I feel a bit sad when we do arrive at my car and I have to go, but he says we can hangout whenever, just to text and see when he’s free. I climb in my car and drive away, looking for music to play.

I find his YouTube channel and start listening to his songs. So deeply personal and so heartfelt. I can tell he puts his soul into his music. I find myself sitting in my car even when I’ve arrived back home. I do eventually have to get out because it’s freezing outside. But he has such a beautiful voice. He sounds like a professional. I can’t seem to turn his music off.

When I get settled inside, music still playing, I sit down at my dining room table and open the journal. I find a pen and go to the second page.

I’ve never been one to write. But Harry is right. There are some things so deep and personal that you can’t tell anyone else. Not until you know it’s safe. Harry has been in my life a little over a year now, but we haven’t really talked until this week. Not only is he the only person I really can talk to, he is the safest person I’ve ever met. I don’t have to fake anything. He is so honest. And his music speaks to my heart in a language I’ve never heard before but I understand. And it’s heartbreak. I’ve been hurt before, but not in the way Kellen has hurt me. Bur thought it all, I know I’ll be okay.

I continue to write when I get a notification on my phone.

New music from Harry Styles: Always Been You Somehow

I click on it and a video starts to play. It must have been recorded a few days ago, because his outfit is different.

- - -

Masterlist Series Part 1 Part 3

[eco-lite]

Time to share both sillies and beautiful words from @dianeduane 's The Wounded Sky!

[Text ID: “’And greetings to you also, Mr. Sc’tt; well met indeed! A long time now I’ve wanted to meet the man who has so many times has pulled the estimable Captain’s nuts out of the fire.’ Jim put up an eyebrow. Scotty reddened, and held his grin back from becoming a laugh. ‘I thank ye, lady,’ he said, ‘though it’s not often been so dramatic.’ ‘The idiom, though, would be “chestnuts,”’ Spock said, utterly deadpan. ‘Oh? Thank you.’” End ID]

Okay, starting out absolutely bonkers, got it. For real, I wish ST media played more with language mistranslations/misunderstandings.

[Text ID: “For once Jim had no eyes for the window in the officer’s lounge, despite the radiant view outside. He managed to get a good part of his steak down before the ship’s computer spoke softly to him, telling him that Spock has logged off the Bridge and had instructed the lift to drop him at deck six. Jim bolted the rest of the steak, had the table dispose of it, and was working on a salad when Spock came quietly in. ‘May I join you, sir?’ Jim waved a forkful of greenery in invitation.” End ID]

This is so freaking funny. This could either be taken as Jim not wanting to offend the vegetarian Spock by eating meat in his presence, or that Jim knows he's supposed to be on a diet and doesn't want Spock to see him cheating. And the way he's instantly acting casual with his salad as Spock walks in. Perfection.

[Text ID: “’This would normally be morning for me. Bit I wanted to be here at “night.” So do a lot of my people, evidently…’ Jim nodded, smiling slightly; the computer, somewhat bemused, had told him that such shift-trading and shuffling was going on all over the ship. ‘Some “dawn” for you,’ he said. ‘Well…it is. It is.’ Uhura didn’t take her eyes away from the great silent pool of light. ‘First time any of us have seen this light after all…’ ‘I would hardly say that, Lieutenant,’ said the quiet voice on Jim’s left hand. Jim didn’t even have to move; he just let out a small breath of amusement and gazed out into the dark, listening to the old familiar game among his officers begin. ‘This light has rarely left Enterprise’s hull since her keel was flown. For an expert in communications, you exhibit a shocking imprecision of expression. Were you instead to say that you have never seen the Galaxy in this particular fashion—’ ‘Mr. Spock,’ Uhura said with great affection, ‘you are incorrigible.’ ‘Only impermeable, Lieutenant,’ Spock said. His voice was calm as usual, and revealed nothing; but Jim stole a sideways glance and saw that shadow of a smile that Spock occasionally wore. The Vulcan did not lean on the railing. He stood straight, but his stance had comfort about it, and his eyes were lifted up to the great darkness as if inviting it to appreciate his humor—though not to do anything so gauche as laugh out loud. It cooperated.” End ID]

I love banter.

[Text ID: “Jim bent his head a bit, speaking only for Spock to hear. ‘I was going to congratulate you on your timing, by the way.’ ‘Sir?’ ‘Getting us out of there. –We were there?’ ‘Surely I was. And I perceived you to be.’ ‘Mindlink?’ ‘Again, I think not, sir. Though stress on either member of a …team… that has mindmelded in the past, will sometimes reactivate the linkage, this experience did not have the same “flavor.” Also, I was unable to break it, as I would have been able to do were it a true link—so I must decline the congratulations with regrets. We must look for another solution—and, I suspect, a more complex one.’” End ID]

...team... .........TEAM........

[Text ID: “’This the popular name, “creative physics.”’ There was an amiable snort from a ways down the railing, to Spock’s left. Jim glanced in that direction and noticed that McCoy had joined them, and Harb Tanzer was leaning on the railing on Bone’s far side. ‘How do you “discover” a statue you have yet to sculpt?’ McCoy said in good-natured derision. ‘Because you have sculpted it, even before you pick up your first chisel. This time scheme discards both succession—“cause and effect”—and simultaneity, as fragmented and incomplete glimpses of the larger continuum in which both coexist. In such a scheme, the rude comment you make in a moment has existed complete since the beginning of time—it “was, and is, and shall be,” to borrow a phrase, “forever and ever.”’ McCoy glared at him and said nothing. Harb laughed. ‘But Mr. Spock, he didn’t say it!’ ‘That is entirely like the Doctor,’ Spock said with an expression of mild annoyance. ‘He cheerfully flouts that natural course of a whole Universe to prove me wrong.’” End ID]

Bones is so belligerent. I love him.

[Text ID: “Deliberately, then, as if turning away from even her slight safety, Jim brought himself about to look at what cast the starlight on her hull. And the view was very different from the vista available on the observation deck, where one was snug inside a ship. There it hung above him. A galaxy, the Galaxy, not shut safely outside a clearsteel window, not even nearby any longer, but more distant than the Magellanic; a bright-shored island hanging grand and silent in the airless wastes displaying all of its starry majesty at once. Jim just drifted there, letting himself see. Sol was lost in the sweep of stars in the leftward arm, an utterly insignificant 24th-magnitude spark that not even the great ten-meter Artemis/Luna reflector could have made out at this range. The whole Federation, from the Orionis worlds to the Vela Congeries, was a patch of sparkle that an upraised finger could cover The Klingon and Romulan empires were almost entirely— Awe grew in him again, and a muted joy; but also an increasingly powerful disquiet, so strong that inside the suit Jim simply shook for a moment. The world that all his life had been around him, was suddenly outside him—and he was outside it, way out in the coldest deeps where no star shone. Jim gazed in uneasy wonder at the little spiral-shaped home of life, with all its lights left burning in the dark. It finally sank in, as it hadn’t even after the first jump, what he’d done to himself and the people he commanded. He’d gone too far, this time. He and four hundred thirty-eight souls were truly where no man had gone before, alone as no one in history had ever been. It delighted him. It terrified him. His voice sounded loud in the helm as, meaning it, he whispered that old phrase he’d read first in Anglish: ‘O Lord, Thy sea is so great, and my vessel so small…’” End ID]

And now we get to the beautiful language parts. For context, the Enterprise has transported outside the Milkyway galaxy in a very dangerous way, and Jim is taking in the vast beauty of his home from this far vantage point. But it's also finally sinking in how deeply in trouble they are.

[Text ID: “The doctor saw Jim’s stunned look, spoke a word or two to a couple of the people who were keeping him company, and left them behind to see to Kirk. Kim literally had to squeeze his eyes shut as Bones approached. McCoy blazed, not with light, but with an intense compassion that could be felt on the skin, even from a distance, like the sun in a desert. Jim had always known Bones cared deeply about people, but he was unprepared for the full truth of the matter—” End ID]

Bones literally glows with compassion in this strange liminal space realm. Yeah, that makes sense. I love how Diane writes Bones' character. I feel like she really understands him.

[Text ID: Two pages. The first page says: “’Captain,’ the other familiar voice said on his other side, ‘are you well?’ And Jim turned to look at Spock, and was dazzled again, but this time he couldn’t look away. Spock hadn’t changed; but here his spirit showed as it never had before, even in the harrowing intimacy of mindmeld. From the meld, Jim was already familiar with the incessant activity of that cool, curious mind as it tirelessly hunted answers. But now he saw where the activity came from—Spock’s utter certainty that there was no higher purpose for his life than to burn it away in search of the truth, and to give that truth away when he found it. More, Jim saw what fueled and underlay the certainty: a profound vulnerability paired  with a great, unreasonable joy—the deepest-hidden parts of Spock’s Earth-human heritage, both of them sheer terror to a Vulcan mind. Even when Spock had been trying to suppress or deny those hidden legacies, they had managed again and again to escape and express themselves as valor, and wry humor, and the endless good-natured fencing with McCoy. But Spock wasn’t denying the inheritance so vehemently any more, and the power of the older, wiser man was a joy to behold, and a terror. This great mind has been standing behind me and quietly obeying my orders for all these years? Why?? He could be so much more—But in this place, the answer was plain to read. Loyalty was frequently unreasonable and illogical—and Spock had long since decided that this one aspect of his life could do without logic. ‘Spock,’ Jim said—and ran out of words. He was deeply moved, and didn’t know how to adequately express it—until he abruptly felt Spock feeling the emotion with him, and knew there was nothing more that needed saying on the subject. ‘I’m fine, Spock,’ he said then, and glanced over at McCoy. Bones was gazing at Spock in a curious, almost grudging calm.” The second page says: ‘Leonard,’ Spock said, ‘you are not seeing anything now that you have not long suspected was already there. Nor am I.’ The shadow-smile, the flash of humor, pierced Spock’s outer and inner sobrieties once more. ‘And you need not be concerned about your “dark” placed revolting me. I have seen them before, in meld, and may yet see them there again. More apparent here is that neither of us is quite the hopeless case the other has sometimes considered him to be.’” End ID]

This is so powerful--this understanding of each other they've all come to. Being able to see each other fully, and not shy away. This is the emotional connection stuff that should be explored more in sci-fi. The genre is a perfect medium for it.

[Text ID: “Moved far past words, Jim gave his gift, the thing sweetest to him. To sit at the heart of four hundred thirty-eight souls, and be truly their heart, and their head; the one they gave their power to—not unquestioningly either, but after consideration, by choice, and sometimes )though he would never understand it when it happened) by love. To command them, to be (by that command) in service to them. To suffer their pains and joys as they did his. To be companion to them, to delight in what the all did together—explore, dare, adventure, work, play. In all the Universe he could think of nothing better to give, nothing more worth being remembered when he and all the humanities and the Galaxy itself were merely old stories. He gave the memory, the feeling of what he loved, to the Others; and tears fell again as he realized who he was, and how lucky he was to be him.” End ID]

It's complicated, but essentially the Enterprise crew has awakened this entity with their zero-space jumping, and now the entity doesn't want to give up their sentience. The solution was to erase the memory of their encounter with the Enterprise crew, but let them keep their sentience and create a whole new universe in this other dimension they live in; one made up of all the qualities the Enterprise crew wants to share. This is what Jim shared. I love seeing this side of him. As always, Diane is a legend at believably expanding upon the TOS characters, and further exploring their emotions and relationships. It's really beautiful to see.

[edvinception]

I'm looking forward to hear what you have to say about apoy. Have a Nice weekend 💜

Thank you!

Watched it this afternoon and I think the 3/5 reviews make a lot of sense.

Here are my own thoughts in numbers

Acting: 5/5

Story: 2/5

Directing: 3/5

Script: 2/5

Characters: 2/5

The acting is what carried this movie. I like some of the themes, the core theme of grief is nice but I sometimes felt like it could have digges deeper and darker. While I understand grief is not linear ans bottomless darkness I feel like the movie could have benefitted from having a bit more of those soul crushing moments.

I feel like Agnes was a good character. I liked the overall story of her being in denial and pushing away her grief until it wasn't possible. The story is very much her story but sadly the other characters suffered from it and my extension the whole story. Her idgf attitude was annoying but you always had a feeling it was an act, a coping mechanism and I think it worked. It wasn't I'm gonna be my dead sister now and take her boyfriend, at least not in my opinion. It just felt like she was struggling with her grief, she had no support. Her mother left, her sister's boyfriend shows up looking for closure and support. Of course she's gonna repress her feelings to cope and not go under. It was sad to see.

If the other characters had been a bit more developed I think I would have felt more moved my the story as a whole.

The mom ditched his child to go to her own mother, yikes. But then she was a nice loving mother five min later. I wish there would be more focus on that. Good acting from Ida.

Noel also felt bland. Not Edvin's fault. He did his best and it as great. Unfortunately the character felt flat. There could have been more to explore there. He and Julia had issues and you got a sense he was afraid for her and had to be her chaperone. There was hints at darkness but I wish it would have been explored after the big fight. I missed a conclusion. Imagine a short scene at the cemetery? I'm glad there was never a full on romance though. It just felt like there was something missing like a scene where they acknowledged the fight and talked about Julia, leaving it at a light note between them. Felicia and Edvin definitely had chemistry though in their scenes.

I feel like Julia could have lasted a little longer. Giving her 15 min more wouldn't hurt. It would build up her death more. I don't mind that we got little clues here and there. I think Agnes had a very glorified view of Julia and she had been kept out of alot of things. She looked up to Julia who was struggling alot and had alot of darkness in her which their mom and Noel saw more first hand. Probably because Julia protected Agnes from that. I just wish we could have seen a little more of that.

Julia's friends felt weird. Alva's character felt the most realistic but the others were like okat she's dead but there's a party next week, let's go. And why was Agnes suddenly a part of their gang?

I liked the bathroom scene. So good and sad. Also Alvas character accusing Agnes of not visting Julia but not being able to herself felt realistic. Though she had every right to be mad at Agnes using the ID.

The theatre scenes felt done and unnecessary. I don't like them in almost any movie. There always a character breaking down during a monologue and I don't think it's a very fun trope. I understand their purpose but surely you can tell the same story a little less obviously and on the nose?

I can appreciate that there was light in the movie and not just darkness but for me it made me less excited because I love the angst.

Favourite scenes

The scene in the stairs when she repeatedly says "Mamma" was so sad. And then the phone scene and the following scene with the tub. I think they were my favourites along with the one with Alvas character in the bathroom.

I liked the tunnel scene but it wasn't my favourite. It was the only scene where Edvin got to really act though so it was nice. They had great non romantic chemistry in that and were both great. Sadly their arc ended there and i wish we had more as I've already said.

Overall an okay movie. Not my favourite not the worst I've watched.

[sweet-thangman]

hey pretty boy too proud to say hi now that you’re whoring around with the prince?

you never respond to my hi’s. not politely at least…

doesn’t mean i don’t enjoy ignoring them. 

oh my apologies then… good evening jason…

…

as expected. goodnight, my good knight…

okay, okay, hello? shouldn’t you be helping clean up the ball?

shouldn’t YOU be helping clean up the ball? it’s YOUR engagement.

i’m on watch here? every night?

you know… your view of the hallway is completely obstructed by that column.

the only thing i’d have to miss behind that would have to be even smaller than you. 

i’m not THAT small. 

oh yeah? come get it…

HEY GIVE THAT BACK!!!  I DONT HAVE TIME FOR… DEMEANING CHILDISH GAMES! 

i suppose where you’re standing is… acceptable… i just was trying to be helpful.

hmph. word at the ball was that you left to chase the prince… i didn’t think he was your type. 

he’s actually an ex-ex prince…

wish he was the ex-ex-ex prince.

THAT’S TREASONNNN!

like the king hasn’t had the exact same thought… what’re you doing around his harem? i thought you at least cared about doing your job in addition to everyone else’s. 

people can have a sense of duty without sacrificing ALL semblance of fun. 

drinking until you pass out and sleeping in a strangers bed doesn’t seem like fun to me. 

and what would you consider fun? having the same dreary job for 8 years in a row?

9 years actually.

9 years. positively thrilling if you ask me… y’know, if you wanted to join, you could just ask.

i have a fiancée!— also, i don’t want to!!

mhm.

Good day sir here are the knights letters what do i look like an errand boy deliver them yourself fine just thought youd want to deliver them to your friends guess ill just have to go over there and tell them what a wonderful friend you are to me fine give em here oh my engagement present how is it oh um its really good actually thank you the guy who writes them is great at what he does i already have birds of the southern isles and finches around the world but i've never had an illustrated one before though mustve cost a fortune oh it was nothing im so happy youre enjoying it might be the best engagement present ive gotten the king got me a sword with his coat of arms on the pommel which is nice but its also what he got me for my graduation and im not really sure what to do with two swords wow im honored if we ever visit the provinces i can show you all the birds in real life im never gonna visit the northern provinces im needed here well i grew up in the north as a kid my memories not the sharpesg in the world but i could try and describe what they were like youre from the north i never wouldve guessed you seem like you sprang right into being a fully formed courtier well thank you i moved here when i was 7 so i had time to learn the ropes and lose my accent how about you oh uh well i was born in a nearby town i think or the king thinks im an orphan but ite completely fine i have a better life here than i could ever dream of with the king taking care of me and a job i love a job im good at so not as interesting as you thats way more interesting im glad you found a home here yeah are you in love with maya did she put you up to this she said we'd talk about this later no i swear im sorry if its a touchy subject no its fine i of course im in love with maya we're engaged id be the biggest fool in the world if i wasnt in love with her right i wouldnt know dont you fool around with a lot of guys i thought youd have figured out love by now thats nowher enear love sometimes if i want something from someone and they want a little intimacy in return well why would i turn thay down you shouldnt i mean you cant its not a currency you can exchange why not im cute even worse you have to use it responsibilty how do you know they dont think its love i dont wanna contaminate your big knightly brain

Sorry i did that all from memory i think a lot of that is wrong anyways JASONLOUIS IM CRYING GG O,,,,,...MMLL

[a-lonely-dunedain]

if you want an additional Situation, id be curious about ethedis with #2 :D

ok well. idk why my brain decided these go together but it turned out Very Mean oops. sorry it took so long my brain just, was Not letting me write descriptions. or dialogue. also idk why this is in 2nd person but that's just what it started as and I guess we're committed now *shrug*

#2: time loop (creative liberties taken) #6: reverse amnesia (no one can remember the character)

“Sorry, Corunir, was it? I think I’m a little lost-” Ethedis sets down her cup on the coffee table between the two of you, looking at you intently. There is the sound of rain pattering outside. You search her eyes for the faintest hint of recognition -futile, you know- but still she looks at you like a total stranger. Courteous, curious, but distant. “Can you explain it one more time?” You know it won’t do any good, but you start anyway.

“I’m afflicted by a curse. You’re not going to remember this conversation, you will not remember my face, my voice, or anything I’ve ever done. Sometime between now and dawn, you and everyone else I’ve met today will forget. And the same thing will happen tomorrow.” You managed to keep your voice level explaining it this time. You’ve had practice now. 

“I was a part of Golodir's Company, then the Grey Company, and then the Conquest of Gorgoroth. I became like this after retrieving some kind of cursed artifact from Mordor. I did not realize how dangerous it was at the time. Evidently the curse had a delayed reaction, as it only took effect after I had turned it over to the Houses of Lore for study and safekeeping.”

“I see…” You remain silent and let her process your admittedly hard to believe story. She always takes it better than most you encounter, no accusations of madness or ill intent at least. 

When your brothers see someone they don’t recognize wearing one of their stars, they tend to assume the worst, that it was stolen by an imposter trying to infiltrate their ranks or something of that nature. You of course don’t blame them for it, it’s an understandable reaction. There are so few of you left now, of course a stranger in one of their uniforms would be cause for alarm, but you cannot deny how much it hurts.

So you keep your star hidden when you speak to those of them still in the city. Sometimes you still try to explain your plight, sometimes they actually believe you, but always they forget by the next dawn. 

You find it hurts less to keep your distance from them. The mistrustful look in their eyes typically reserved for strangers is almost too much to bear. 

But Ethedis has always been a little more trusting. Ok a lot more trusting, to an almost worrying degree, but at least it means you have someone to talk to. Coming here to see her has probably been the only thing keeping you sane these last few weeks, she’s one of the few people you find easy to talk to in your current predicament.

The second time you came to her, you just broke. Realizing she truly remembered nothing about you, and the hopelessness of your situation truly starting to set in, is a pain you almost wished you could forget. 

But instead of doing the reasonable thing and demanding that the sobbing madman leave her room at once, she actually attempted to comfort you. A little clumsily perhaps, but the fact that she tried at all was enough to hold you together.

Maybe some part of her could see you were telling the truth, despite how strange it was. Some elves have the power to see into people’s hearts, and though Ethedis never believed she possessed such an ability, you have your own suspicions. She’s always finding new ways to surprise you.

She rummages around her belongings for a sheet of paper and something to write with. You don’t bother telling her it’s pointless. Come morning those papers she’s hastily scribbling down your story on will be blank once again, but you don’t stop her, there’s no reason to keep her from trying.

“So, this relic then,” she says without looking up from the paper “I assume you’ve already tried simply breaking it, and that clearly didn’t work.”

“Yes, the enchantment upon it protected it from any harm I was capable of.”

“I wonder if there’s something I could do to it… maybe tomorrow, after I’ve read over these notes, I could try-”

“I do not mean to sound rude in saying this, but I know that will not work.” You say gently, “You have tried that before, and many other things.” 

She’s attempted to unravel the enchantment a few times now, but truthfully you don’t want her anywhere near it. Not until you’ve exhausted all other options. The risk of her becoming cursed herself may be small, but it is far too great for you to bear. 

You think it might have been your proximity to the relic over such a long period of time that caused you to become like this, as it was on your person all the way from Mordor to Minas Tirith. But you still think it’s too risky for anyone to get near it, even for a short amount of time. Especially Ethedis. You cannot let her fall to this fate. You cannot let her be forgotten.

The scholars in the Houses of Lore at least seem to understand that whatever enchantment is on the relic is dangerous, so it is locked away far from anyone. Ethedis had to pull a great many strings for you to be allowed near it, until you learned who you needed to talk to and exactly what to say to be let in by yourself. 

“And, besides that, I guess I should tell you those notes will not be there for you to read tomorrow.”

“Ah.” her pencil stops “I take it the words will vanish as well as my memories?” 

you nod solemnly. “Anything written by or about me, I’m afraid. Truthfully, I did not come here to try to work out a solution. Not tonight.”

“Don’t tell me you're giving up, are you?” She asks sharply. Ah, there’s that stubborn hope you remember.

“No, not yet.” you sigh “But I am tired. Tired of all the dead ends. Right now, I just wanted to talk to you, hear your voice.”

“I suppose it would get rather lonely.”

You nod sadly. ‘Lonely’ seems a bit of a tame way to describe what you became after losing all your friends overnight, but it gets the point across.

“So, how did I know you?”

“In Angmar. You were there at my lowest point, when my spirit was broken by the Watchers, you gave me hope and light I thought were long beyond my reach. I have tried to be the same for you, in our battles with the Iron Crown, through the journey south, but… it seems I have once again fallen into my original role.”

She gives a thoughtful hum and glances out the window, between the storm and the darkness of night it is pitch black out there, but Ethedis still seems to be looking at something. “...Now that you mention it, it seems a bit unbelievable that I could have done all those things alone. I had not thought much about it, but it makes much more sense if I had a strong Ranger like you there with me.”

Your face gets a little flush “I think you give me a little too much credit, it was still mostly you-”

“Nonsense! I mean, Barad Gularan? Bogbereth? All those fights with Mordirith? They hardly seem like tasks for a lone elf, I must have had someone with me, and that must have been you.”

She looks back to you, her bright demeanor dimmed ever so slightly “I wish I remembered… You and I must have been close.”

“We were. Something other than friends, we loved each other, but we were not lovers, at least, not in the traditional sense. We didn’t really care what we called it, we were just… very important to each other.” It doesn’t feel right to refer to your relationship in the past-tense, you don’t want to think of it as being ‘over’, you still love her. But, you are a stranger to her now, present-tense would be inappropriate.

She looks at you piercingly, her bright green eyes seeming to search for something in you. Then her expression softens, something like pity almost.

“...do you need a hug?” 

You’re a little taken aback, she hasn’t asked that before. “I… wasn’t going to ask… I am a stranger to you after all, but if you’re offering-” you try to swallow a lump in your throat, and you cannot look her in the eyes “Yes. I need one.”

She walks over and sits next to you, then pulls you close. Tighter than you had expected, not how you think she would embrace a total stranger such as yourself.

You hadn’t noticed how cold you were until you felt the warmth of her arms. Ice has seeped into your very bones, and you do not want to let her go. It feels like it’s been years since you felt her embrace. The loneliness and the fear and the hopelessness all claw their way to the surface of your heart, desperate to be laid bare before her. You fight with everything you have not to sob into her shoulder.

You don’t want to let go, but you know you must. Your time here runs short.

As you pull away you hastily wipe away some stray tears that had fallen unbidden from your eyes.

“You will find some way to break this curse.” she states, her eyes not filled with hope, but with certainly. 

“If anyone else had said that I would think they were lying to be kind. Not you, though. I believe you.” She always has plenty of certainty to spare when you find yourself without any. There was a time when you might have thought it was mere naivety, but you know better now.

But you’ve been here too long now. It’s late, she might forget about you at any moment.

“I should be going now.” you say reluctantly “The curse will take effect soon I think, and I doubt you will be happy to find me in your room when that happens.”

As you walk through the door, a chill suddenly runs all the way through you, your blood turns to ice and your breath freezes in your lungs, now a puff of visible vapor before you. 

It’s happening again. You mistimed this visit, you had hoped to leave before this. You don’t want to turn around, you hate watching people forget, but you turn anyway.

Ethedis sits with the blank papers in front of her, seeming a little confused. She shakes her head as if to dispel some fog in her mind.

“...What on earth was I-” She looks up at you, the stranger in her doorway, and jumps to her feet in alarm.

“Um, hello? What are- what you are doing here?”

“Oh, sorry to disturb you, I just got a little lost.” You can’t hide the sadness in your gaze, and that probably only confuses her more.

“Wait, you…” she looks you up and down, then tilts her head “You look like a Ranger, but I have not seen you before… Who are you?”

You shrug “I should be going now.” and quickly make your exit.

She probably thinks she’s seen a ghost. You guess that isn’t too far off from the truth.

—

Eventually morning comes again. You walk through the streets of the lower circles, blending into the crowds like a ghost. 

You’re not really sure what you’re doing down here, but you find it’s easier to think when you’re walking, so here you are. 

You’ve been going around in circles in your head, no closer to any possible solution. Gandalf might have the power to undo this curse, but he is far away aiding the Conquest. You doubt he would be able to fix this without the relic on hand, and removing it from the Houses of Lore only risks exposing more people to the curse, so you wouldn’t dare try stealing it unless you had no other choice. If only you could send a message to him, but nothing you try to write ever leaves a trace. You could get Ethedis to write something to him again, but you’re starting to think anything written in your presence is doomed to vanish, as the last letter she wrote mentioned nothing about you or the curse, but it was still blank the next day. 

But something more alarming has come to your attention, too. It’s hard to gauge, but you think people are starting to forget about you faster than before. You feel chilled at odd hours of the day, and sometimes people cannot seem to look directly at you or hear your voice, almost as if you aren’t wholly there to them. You might not have time to wait for Gandalf. Could this curse even have the power to fully erase someone? You hope not, you hope you’re just imagining it, and you pray you never have to find out.

You wish you had never retrieved the damn thing. You don’t know what could have possibly possessed you to go to Mordor alone, not while Ethedis had not fully recovered from her injuries. You would have hated to leave her like that. You recall it made perfect sense at the time, it seemed important.

Another new worry has been clawing in the back of your mind. Perhaps you didn’t go to Mordor alone, and perhaps you were not the only one forgotten. Your actions do not make much sense otherwise-

In your distraction, you plowed headfirst into someone on the street. A young man with a distinctive red scarf and fiery hair to match. You do not know him. 

He looks like he hasn’t slept in a week. You try to ask if he’s alright, but before you can say anything he quickly mutters an apology and slips out of sight into a nearby alleyway.

You think you should ignore him and focus on the task at hand, but, there was something else… 

When you touched him, you felt that same chill as before, when the curse takes effect every night. Smaller perhaps, but unmistakable. You still feel cold, you can see your breath.

The man with the scarf has some connection to it, and you need to get to the bottom of it.

—

(surprise! I found a way to be mean to Tossdir in this too! I am only a little sorry >:) you thought I just forgot to mention him earlier? nooo, but everyone else did! I have some vague ideas for where to go with this one actually. maybe I'll do a continuation if people are interested idk. this doesn't feel like my finest work but hey practice is practice and I think the concept is neat)

[bolton-buried]

I still kinda wish we had something different to do episode three on than, well. You know. Not least of all because someone else had to take the footage.

But here it is.

[[Video ID:

Harold stands in front of the camera. His black coat drips water like someone has just dumped a bucket of water on him, and his bangs completely cover his eyes, only allowing the camera to see the bottom half of his dark features.

“This is not my side of the camera, but I was asked to open today’s video, due to my personal connection to the subject matter. When I was 11, my father developed a Hyde-esque alter ego, which drove him into a murderous fury whenever he encountered something paranormal. I was one of those things. Enough said.”

Cut to black. White text reads “Footage of this portion is unavailable, due to Charlotte’s failure to remove the camera lens cover.”

Charlotte’s voice can be heard.

“Mr. Bolton, can you please, in your own words, tell us about when this began?”

A gruff, masculine voice responds.

“A dozen years ago. I was hunting with an old pal of mine. Sorry, you said Harold is here? He can’t come in—he knows what I’ll—”

“Yes, we’re quite aware of that. Now please, your story?”

“Errr, yes, right. This force—I couldn’t see it—knocked me over. For a moment I imagined it was a wolf, which clawed at my chest, but my chest was fine afterwards, so that was just my imagination.”

“And after that?”

“That’s when I realized that my hunting friend was made of cockroaches.”

Cut to:

Talking head of Angie, a woman with blonde curls under a bandanna, dressed like a psychic medium. She is holding a piece of paper.

“According to news reports of the time, Nicholas Bolton went on to kill two people: his hunting companion, and a steward on the train he took back. Both bodies were found to be highly abnormal in autopsies. Though we were unable to access the autopsies ourselves, various sources reference the companion’s skin being found hollowed with a few insects nearby, and the steward’s was found to be just skin, all the way down.

“After reaching his home village north of Newcastle, Bolton went on to attempt to shoot his own son, chasing him with a rifle until the child fell in a river.”

Angie looks up, and her expression becomes agitated.

“Stop making that face—I’m reading the script, you don’t have to look all—”

Cut to black.

Back in the prison, but we actually have footage this time. The man on the other side of the glass is pale, but his hair is the same shade as Harold’s—and greasy enough to match the color of Harold’s hair being wet.

“I don’t know what to tell you. Just sometimes, when I meet someone, they have a smell about them, and then I start to see red, and then the next thing I know I’m standing over a corpse.”

“Interesting, so would you say you—”

Charlotte is cut off by a slight commotion, through which Desmond can be heard apologizing. The camera turns to show that he has tripped slightly on entering, and is regaining his balance.

“Dez! You’re not supposed to come in, with your—”

“I know, I know.” Dez waves her concern off. “I still wanted to meet my future in-law. Is that such a crime? Plus, he doesn’t seem to be reacting.”

The camera pans back to Mr. Bolton. He is still seated, calmly as before.

“In-law? You mean…”

Cut to black. White text reads “Irrelevant footage removed.”

Footage resumes with a talking head of Charlotte.

“We were unable to get much information from Mr. Bolton that isn’t already public knowledge. I wish I could share a closing word to recommend you all a way to avoid similar instances, but I don’t have any.”

The video seems to be ending somewhat abruptly, but then it cuts into a familiar, LED-lit room, with Dez front and center.

“Okay, so, nothing on the stalker front. I think it left when I went to speak with Nic—meaning it’s not mindless. Makes my life harder.

“I’ve been turning the angel over in my head. I mentioned the letters to Nic, and they were his originally. I don’t think he’s the angel—he’s too much a hunter.

“The angel is an avatar of the web. Hence the manipulation, and the spiders that seem to end up all over certain areas. That rules out Nic, Angie, and Charlotte, at least. I believe they did know Harry in-person at one point, which gives me three primary suspect groups.

“Institute employees, villagers up north, and people who attended Uni with Harold.

“I’m onto you, itsy-bitsy. Watch your back. Or did you forget what happens to you when it rains?”