#sometimes i think about this song existing

[marithlizard]

That's the problem though, isn't it? Most activists and protesters _don't_ want to commit crime, they want to call attention to injustice and work to get it fixed. Undercover agents like this are given the job of turning peaceful people into "criminals" so that they can be arrested. And while I'm sure "hur hur, let's actually go blow things up and loot shops" works sometimes, it's not going to convince you or most other people to turn to the dark side. The reason for the song is to remind you that it's usually _not_ so obvious. Maybe you get into the fed's car because he's always volunteered to drive for the last six months and you assume you're going to stop by a place he knows to get donuts. Maybe you've been having conversations in that car for six months and a lot of them have been about whether vigilantism can be ethical. Today the car pulls into a gun shop instead of a donut shop, and now you're under arrest and they have a recording snippet of you saying "look, I understand the desire to do violence against bad people BUT". They don't play the "but" part when they take you to court. How do you protect against that? You have a silly little mnemonic song to remind you that the guy who always brings up the _idea_ of criming, and who always volunteers to drive, is suspicious. The other big problem is that even the most peaceful activities - even your very existence - can be defined as a crime. Giving water to a dehydrated person can be a crime. Saying "trans rights are human rights" or "genocide is bad" can be a crime. If the Black Panthers, who by all accounts were intelligent and well-organized and focused on obviously good things like giving free lunch to schoolchildren, could be redefined in the public eye as dangerous violent criminals who it was okay to shoot in their sleep, I think it's safe to say neither you nor I can be confident in our ability to "just not commit crimes".

Reading rahaeli's bsky feed is an education in itself. I did not realize it was so common for undercover agents to join even harmless social activism groups and try to encourage people to do things they could be arrested for. The song has about a dozen verses, all of them based on incidents that resulted in felony charges o.O

The whole thread is very worth reading, especially since the incoming administration has been been very clear that they want to criminalize being trans or supporting trans rights. (Among other things.)

[unsolicited-opinions]

On recent far-left attacks on the Anti-Defamation League

Before we start:

- I think the ADL is wrong about Musk's salutes.

- I think the ADL's Israel advocacy sometimes comes into conflict with their mission in the diaspora. I think their methodologies for data collection and reporting need improvement.

- I think that the ADL is flawed, imperfect and does much more good than harm.

---

Christopher Hitchens put into words what academics used to live by:

"What can be asserted without evidence can also be dismissed without evidence".

The burden of proof is on those making the claim, and the claims of droptheadl.org aren't supported with primary sources or evidence.

For example:

To support its claims about the ADL and SNCC, droptheadl.org offers a link, presenting it as a citation.

This is a link to a Google Books entry. There's no actual text, no citation, no chapter, no page, just the claim that somewhere in this 300-page book exists proof of the ADL denouncing SNCC as racist.

However, that's not in the book. Chapter two talks about this incident in detail, so I read it.

In reaponse to a SNCC newsletter (this is what a primary source looks like!) containing many factual errors about Israel,

...Morris Abram, president of the American Jewish Committee (AJC), summed up their outrage: “Anti-Semitism is anti-Semitism whether it comes from the Ku Klux Klan or from extremist Negro groups

[For those who haven't studied the era: at this point, "Negro" was still the word which the black community preferred. The transition to widespread identification as 'black' got going in the 60s and finished in the 70s. The use of the word 'Negro' here is not a slur. I state this in advance because I know how the illiberal left weilds its willful ignorance]

...

Abram was also careful to echo what the ADL had said: that SNCC’s article put it in the same anti-Israeli trench as the Arab world and the Soviet Union.

That's verifiably, unquestionably true. That's the position SNCC took, because that's where they got their information.

Droptheadl.org lied. This book doesn't say what they claim it says, which is why they didn't quote it or offer a specific citation. Why let facts get in the way of the narrative which makes them feel good about themselves?

The book, which I recommend reading, isn't about the ADL. It's a scholarly examination of the relationships between the wars the Arab world launched on Israel and the US Civil Rights Movement. This requires much discussion of the impact on the complex relationships between black communities and Jewish communities in the US in the context of their views on Israel and Palestine.

It's fascinating. Here's another excerpt illustrating why many Jews saw SNCC as taking an antisemitic turn:

One day in May of 1967, [Stokely] Carmichael and [H. Rap] Brown were in Alabama chatting with Donald Jelinek, a lawyer who worked with SNCC.

Jelinek, who was Jewish, expressed his positive feelings about Israel and his concerns about the Jewish state’s situation in that tension-filled month as war clouds were on the horizon in the Middle East.

“So it was a shock to me,” Jelinek later recounted, “when my SNCC friends mildly indicated support for the Arabs.” Mildly stated or not, their sentiments prompted Jelinek to reply, “But they may wipe out and destroy Israel.”

Carmichael adroitly changed the subject with some humor, and the men began laughing.

Jelinek thereafter overheard Brown quietly singing to himself, “arms for the Arabs, sneakers for the Jews.” When Jelinek asked him what that song meant, an embarrassed Brown explained that he had learned the song as a student in Louisiana. It implied that the Israelis would need sneakers (tennis shoes) to run from the Arabs, who were armed with weapons from abroad.

My qualms with this, my disappointment in and disagreement with both Carmichael and Brown doesn't make me a racist. It doesn't make the AJC or the ADL racist and it doesn't make Jelinek, the Jewish lawyer working with SNCC, a racist or a poor ally.

Zionism is the belief that Jews should have self-determination in their homeland.

Nazism was the belief that racially superior Aryans own the world, should be organized through fascist methods, and that the genocide of the Jewish people was explicitly required because they were the source of all evil and the obstacle to progress.

These are not the same. Suggesting they are the same, as Carmichael did, is morally and intellectually bankrupt. Pointing this out doesn't make me a racist. It makes me literate.

I still own a copy of Carmichael's book, Black Power. Carmichael (who later changed his name to Kwame Ture) was a complex person. Like every other historical figure, he was neither a saint nor a demon.

I can admire a lot about the Black Panthers without falsely claiming that nothing they ever did or said was troubling, poorly reasoned, or bigoted. The world is more complex than that.

There are no saints. Learn this important truth and use it to guide your understanding of the world around you. There are no saints.

Gandhi, for instance, was a great leader for Indian self-rule and a visionary of nonviolent protest. He was also a racist as a young man who said black people "...are troublesome, very dirty and live like animals." Read about his work in South Africa. He was also really weird about sex and slept naked with his grand niece, which we rightly recognize today as sexual abuse. He wasn't a saint or a demon, he was a person.

People are complex and flawed. If you want to understand people, history, and movements, wrap your head around this as keep it with you: People and their movements are complex and flawed.

But the depth of reasoning I see from the illiberal left is "ADL criticized SNCC, so they're Nazis."

No, child. The world is much, much more complex than that. Why did you go to college if you weren't going to learn anything there?

My 14yo is right. US leftists (not liberals, leftists) are allergic to nuance and discard the facts contradicting any narrative which makes them feel good about themselves.

Selah

Deep breath in, slow breath out.

The book is really delves into some of the factors contributing to the deteriorating relationship at the time between Jewish Americans and Black Americans. It points to this essay by James Baldwin, titled "Negroes Are Anti-Semitic Because They're Anti-White." I urge you to read it, it is a fascinating artifact of its time and place.

And this:

Jews had long advocated for black liberation by, for example, playing a role in the foundation of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) in 1909. Jewish support for blacks was well known; as early as February of 1942, the American Jewish Committee published a study titled “Jewish Contribution to Negro Welfare.” Having experienced the sting of anti-Semitism, many Jews believed they were fighting in the same trench against discrimination alongside African Americans. When the civil rights struggle grew to become a mass movement in the 1950s and early 1960s, Jewish moral and financial support was crucial, and Jews were disproportionately well-represented among those whites who lent their support to the cause. Jewish financial contributions to civil rights groups were also significant. Jews even were the subject of criticism from some southern whites for the high-profile role they played in helping blacks win their freedom. All this compounded a sense of betrayal by SNCC that was felt by many Jewish Americans.

It should not be surprising or taken as racist that Jews objected to SNCC's advocacy against Israel's existence and I maintain that any call for Israel to be destroyed is innately, inarguably antisemitic. No other nation endures calls for its destruction. Just the Jewish one.

There was unquestionably tension between SNCC and the entire spectrum of non-black Americans who supported SNCC when SNCC ejected non-black members. From our perspective, decades removed, I can understand both why SNCC members narrowly voted for this AND why non-black members of SNCC were hurt and disillusioned. All of those perspectives were (and are) valid.

When I was an undergrad studying African American Political Thought, we discussed these tensions head-on, using primary sources, and evaluated them dispassionately.

We concluded that there are no villains in this story. SNCC got a bunch of facts wrong about Israel, their staunch Jewish allies were profoundly disappointed, saw hypocrisy in SNCC's position, and said so.

I think that far left Americans overlaid their feelings about a domestic struggle on a foreign one where they don't fit...and then discarded the facts and the complexity which got in the way of a satisfying narrative which made them feel like the good guys instead of forcing them to grapple with an uncomfortably complex reality.

I think that's what the illiberal left still does. It doesn't like complexity, it doesn't like academic rigor, it likes stories it can tell itself about its moral purity and discards facts, complexity, or rigor which threaten their view of themselves as saviors.

The world is complex. People are complex. Movements are complex. Organizations are complex. History is complex. Justice is complex.

The ADL isn't perfect, its leaders haven't been and are not saints or tzadikim, but the good they do for all Americans radically outweighs their failings and I'm going to keep supporting them while yelling at them to do better.

If you're an ADL hater and have any actual evidence and primary sources on racism from the ADL, I really want to see it, because this weak sauce from droptheadl.org doesn't make the case the illiberal left thinks it makes. And they'd know that if they had learned anything in college about how scholarship works and how arguments are constructed.

The illiberal left perhaps forgets how the ADL responded when Trump called for requiring American Muslims to register.

“If one day Muslim Americans will be forced to register their identities, then that is the day that this proud Jew will register as a Muslim. ”

- ADL chief executive Jonathan Greenblatt

[five-milfs-and-a-twink]

Hey-

So I know I don't talk about politics too much here but this has been on my mind all day and I want to share my thoughts with an audience that I know is at least listening a little. Sometimes talking about this just feels like screaming into the void but here we go.

For those of you who don't know, I'm an American. We just elected the worst possible man to be our president. As younger, queer, biracial woman, I'm scared. Not only for myself but for my trans friends and anyone with family or friends that are immigrants.

Censorship is likely to run rampant bc wtf happened with the tiktok ban? He's best buddies with billionaires and does not give a fuck about the American people. His priority right now is renaming the Gulf of Mexico and trying to ban the existence of trans people, but people are still struggling to get by, which will only get worse with his tax cuts. The tax cuts that will only help the rich gain more wealth while everyone else continues to struggle.

Not to mention that the millions of immigrants he wants to deport are the backbone of the American labor force. It's exploitation for sure, but we're gonna feel the effects when he kicks them out.

The separation of church and state has gone out the fucking window.

I don't know how we got to this point. If you're scared like me, then know you're not alone. But we have to keep fighting. We can make these next four years hell for him if we play our cards right. Keep using your voice, because this does not get to end today.

I want to pursue a career in the government/law eventually, not because I think I can fix everything, but because I want to do something.

Also pretty cool thing is I don't think he really has control over tumblr. He's got Meta, X, tiktok... but we're safe here for now.

To end on a lighter note, here's a song Patti LuPone was involved in that just bashes Trump from 2020.

I know this was just word vomit, but I hope it resonated with some of you. Please feel free to reach out for support.

Stay safe, and don't give up <3

[babybluelove2]

l-l-lets do drugs make love with our teachers come on little townie let his tattooed ass beat cha im a fa-an of the pro ana nation i do them drugs to stop them f-food cravings if you wanna get high with me im in the back doing crack drinking p-p-pepsi

[obscureother]

i rolled the f/o wheel so we're doing inkubus next. -v-

old man slasher demon for those who need the warning. his name is literally "Inkubus," for further note on him. .

What do your f/o's hugs feel like? very tight and protective. . he wont let anyone else keep me from him 👉🏻 👈🏻 but he can be gentle, holds with one arm under his coat sometimes or both arms keep me close to him. .

What are your favorite dates to have with them? i like when he shows me secrets in the dark spooky places :0 he can be very fancy and cool sometimes with money he poofs into existence with his demon magic (cos man does not have a job. his existence IS his job.) but i mostly just like going through the darkness with him. .

What are their favorite dates to have with you? i think he also likes those very one on one, private wander-through-the-dark nights. . there's nothing else to keep our attention off each other like dinner or some event (although he doesnt mind going to those either), so he gets to absorb all the attention he gets basked in lol. it is also very intimate, in a way, that isnt something he is used to doing with others.

Do you have any songs that remind you of them? Do they have any songs that make them think of you? i have a couple of them, but one that is more of a comfort song between us is Mr. Kitty "After Dark." I think it is mostly the noise of the song, but the lyrics some too. i forgot to do it on the last one, but i dont really know if i could guess songs they have for me. . i dont normally think of the reverse of these types of questions cos idk how f/o always perceives me lol. he does tease sometimes about how i pout referencing Jazmin Bean "Puppy Pound" because he's heard me listen to it, although he doesnt treat me like the supposed person being "sung to" in that song (he has a superiority complex but he doesnt treat me like nothing lol)

What's the height difference between you and your f/o? he is tall 😳 he's 6'0. Going from the middle height between me and s/i 1 who are only a couple inches apart, he is roughly. . 8 inches taller, i think. . not including horns in his demon form.

On a 1-10 scale, with 1 being the least and 10 being the most, how much do they like PDA with you? it is hard to say. . he does not normally do things in public deliberately (not that he's against it, he just. . doesnt really do that more or less commonly.) unless he feels the need to like someone is trying to get s/i 1's attention that he does not like for them to have, to which he will 100% 10/10 do something about it even if it is only some kind of semi-slow kiss before muttering something like "we need to keep going, my dear. tell the man goodbye. :)" ya he's a jealous f/o. . dont mind him. jshflks-

What's your favorite feature about your f/o? mmmmbbb demon form :)) i like his horns. GOAT MAN, GOAT MAN- i do like his goat lap :0 and his lil goatee. .

What do you think they smell like? he gets the colognes he knows are sort of. . night time, "come close to me," warm or vintage smells. . theyre probably fancy old ones. .

What is your f/os biggest love languages? They don't have to be one of the "five", it can be anything specific they use to show you love. if he is tender in. . any way. that is love from him. he is not known for being gentle or caring. one would even say it is the polar opposite of what he is normally. but when he silently helps take care of you or something for you, that is him not wanting to admit that he does care and consider your comfort or needs or convenience but he does things for you anyway. fixing your shirt, helping you get out of bed, making sure youre fed or that youre not hurt somehow. . he does not ask people those things or do them for just everybody. you must remember that he is normally a terrible demon who manipulates people for nothing but his own amusement or use. he does not normally say "i love you," sometimes it is even hard for him to return it with "i love you too" instead of going "yes, i know you love me :))" but when he does, you can get him to say "i love you/i love you too" if you simply wonder of him of how he feels. if you are seen as "not inferior to him," basically, that is also him liking you (assuming its not a rivalry sense for other demons). if he is hanging out with you and not somehow exploiting you for lust energy or blood or horrible manipulation, that is also him caring about you or your company. He could be doing anything right now, things that would feed him or help him towards becoming the most apex demon of all time. . but he is here with you instead. he's a very selfish man, but if he likes you. . he becomes slightly less selfish on rare occasion. until he loves you. then youre not getting rid of him. you get to listen to his superiority complex all the time in your ear. :))

Do you guys sleep in the same bed? If so, what's it like sleeping with them? sometimes he does sleep with me, yes. . he doesnt always actually sleep, but he will lay there like a haunting guard. other times he stays in the room, he may have things to do during the night (he's a very particular demon if you did not already figure that out.) but he normally does like to lay with me or s/i 1. he doesnt have his own place normally besides returning to hell on occasion for things he needs, so he usually stays with the person he's attached to sometimes if he has nothing to do other than to keep them safe or from missing him for too long.

What's your favorite headcanon about your f/o? most headcanons i have are ones ive made cos half of his lore is MINE. *chomp.* but i do like the ones about how his demon forms are or work. like the only reason he turns into his little black goat form (its not little actually, he's like. . a mountain goat size or so i would think.) is because s/i 1 loves him as a goat :D he is cute and fluffy and silly and he makes funny noises and he is less than impressed with goats as but mere insignificant creatures but he supposes he can use it for incognito sometimes. . and for s /i 1 to hold him on her lap. . on rare occasion. blood moon rare occasion.

What is the dynamic that you and your f/o have? [ ʀ ᴇ ᴅ ᴀ ᴄ ᴛ ᴇ ᴅ . ] sorry wow what a funny glitch, uhmbb,, anyway-

What does your f/o do for you when you're having a rough day? he holds me and plays with my hair. . he mutters to me things to make me feel better, or keeps me to him in his coat in his wings. he protects me from other things bothering me. on a more specific note, he does help a lot with things in the dark. he goes to stand by the door to keep the monsters away. he looks to me to tell me that the shadow im seeing is just him, or if the shadow is scary, he turns to the shadow to get it to go away. he big scary demon. . he doesnt let them come into my room. .

Do you like to hold hands? If so, what's that like? he doesnt much do it himself other than to keep me or s/i 1 from running off cos we get distracted from things :0 but he does let me hold his hand if i want to tho uvu sometimes s/i 1 will get to hold his tail, but only if he says so. . his hand usually holds firm. not hard exactly, but tight to keep grasp of me or s/i 1 to keep us close to himb, but he can be very gentle and careful of us when he is talking to us or holding us on his lap.

Do they like to give you little kisses? If so, where is their favorite place to kiss? (Face, hands, etc) he does give kisses sometimes. . mostly they are private ones, but he does very sensual things. . he likes to give neck kisses, back kisses, or wrist kisses i think, but sometimes when he is being tender he will give temple or forehead kisses. . dont tell him i told you these things btw lol. he gets mad at me when i reveal his secrets -v-

Vice versa, do YOU like to give them little kisses? If so, where is YOUR favorite place to give them? i love to give him kisses :D i give him kisses on his horns and forehead and cheekies uvu sometimes i kiss his chest and arms fbgkhdf <33

What's your favorite silly leisure activity to do with your f/o? i play with his tail like a cat toy. technically im not supposed to touch his tail or horns without his permission, but sometimes he lets me almost play with it 👀 where i can "try" to catch it, but not really, i just get really close. . but if i accidentally bump it for those things, he wont get mad at me for them. he just looks at me funny like he's suspicious of me but not really hbfsj <33

What is your favorite compliment that your f/o gives you? What is your favorite nickname that they for you, if they have one? idk how much depth i can really go into because it can sometimes tend towards a more spicy sense, but know it is not always in a spicy sense. most of the time its not. but he calls me "pet". . but i just mostly like to be called "his," i like when he goes "mine". . 👉🏻 👈🏻

What's your favorite compliment to give THEM? What is your favorite nickname to call them? there's not good words to describe him to me. . he is just the prettiest demon to me. . i call him lots of things, but generally it is just things like calling him pretty goat man or that he is the handsomest demon. . as for nicknames:

ink inku inkioli inkybus bus-bus inku binku inky binky inky bonky onky bonky inkibink onkibonk binky boo inky doo inkus binkus inkers binkers inker bink-bus dinkus beepus binkees inky-bees inkybebop ink-bonk inkububs binky winky binky dink inky wink binku bee boo binkuboo binky bonk binkerbus binkubees beepus dinkubus beep-bus beepers jeepers where'd you get them binkers-

he loves those, i swear :)) (he doesnt, he's less than enthused, but he takes them anyway only from the one person he lets get away with most things. .)

I want everyone to have the chance to ramble about their romantic f/os, so I'm gonna make a reblog game where yall can answer the plethora of questions I'm gonna toss down. Any of the questions you want to answer, as little or as much as you'd like!! I'll read them all. PR.O.SHIP DNI!!! AT ALL! GET OUT-

SO!! SELFSHIPPERS! RIDDLE ME THIS:

What do your f/o's hugs feel like?

What are your favorite dates to have with them?

What are their favorite dates to have with you?

Do you have any songs that remind you of them? Do they have any songs that make them think of you?

What's the height difference between you and your f/o?

On a 1-10 scale, with 1 being the least and 10 being the most, how much do they like PDA with you?

What's your favorite feature about your f/o?

What do you think they smell like?

What is your f/os biggest love languages? They don't have to be one of the "five", it can be anything specific they use to show you love.

Do you guys sleep in the same bed? If so, what's it like sleeping with them?

What's your favorite headcanon about your f/o?

What is the dynamic that you and your f/o have?

What does your f/o do for you when you're having a rough day?

Do you like to hold hands? If so, what's that like?

Do they like to give you little kisses? If so, where is their favorite place to kiss? (Face, hands, etc)

Vice versa, do YOU like to give them little kisses? If so, where is YOUR favorite place to give them?

What's your favorite silly leisure activity to do with your f/o?

What is your favorite compliment that your f/o gives you? What is your favorite nickname that they for you, if they have one?

What's your favorite compliment to give THEM? What is your favorite nickname to call them?

Okay I can't wait to see some answers!! Feel free to reblog as many times with as many f/os as you want. ANYONE CAN PARTICIPATE! SEEING THIS POST IS AN INVITATION FOR YOU!!

People I'd like to see answer this off the top of my head (but don't have to!!): @moxanji-real @one-winged-dreams @lovesickvalentines @graveluvr @clawingatmy-enclosure @starshakez @jpeg-indulgence @everynya @tropgothships @selfshipping-tboy @amelielovesamaris @pixel-comfort @fl0ralsxgar

[uncanny-tranny]

Don't talk to me; I'm still recovering from the fact that the first computer-synthesized voice to sing in 1961 - the IBM 704 - sang Daisy Bell, a love song.

[dailykugisaki]

Day 223 | id in alt

Maki thinking some very unsorcererly things over a piece of damn cheesecake.

(Read from right to left💥)

[heynhay]

As a fellow top 0.1% mitski listener I want to say thank you for existing

asks that initially gave me a level 10 heart attack

[articskele]

LEMME TELL YOU ABOUT THE SEER >:D

Ok so in Warhammer 40k: Darktide there are four classes, one of which being the Psyker!

Psykers (at least in this case) are humans with psychic abilities, ranging from mind reading to ye olde fireball spell to making someone's head implode! Sometimes they're born with it, and sometimes it develops later on!

But all of this power is drawn from the Warp, aka Space Hell, so psykers are often feared and ostracized not only for their powers, but because there's a very real chance they'll just go haywire or get possessed by a demon.

Each class in the game has multiple options for their voice and personality, and one of them is Psyker Male B! Aka the Seer!

No canon appearance, no lore, I haven't even played the game, just sheer force of voice acting! >:D

---

He's got that scraggly charm about him! Cheery and sincere with a touch of theatrics, but he never got socialized as a puppy and has the power to snap someone out of existence without even realizing it-

Seer's convinced that the events of the game aren't really real, that he's just dreaming it all up.

Several voicelines mention a “My Beloved” who talks in his head, and is heavily implied to be A SHARD OF THE EMPEROR OF MANKIND HIMSELF. JUST HANGING OUT WITH THIS RANDOM GUY

---

I don't have much lore for him, I just like the idea that he got reverse-isekai'd (likely via warp shenaniganry) and hangs out with Artic!

Even something as small as listening to him talk on and on while she does the dishes really lightens her mood. He's just fun to be around!

That voiceline where he says "I like that we're friends!" sums them up just great :D

She makes him feel welcomed and listened to and understood for once! And his seemingly endless enthusiasm helps her muster the strength to keep going! I like to think he calls her "my sweet" ouo

Since he can read minds, sometimes they have conversations where Seer talks out loud but Artic responds in her thoughts. Speaking in emotions when her head gets fuzzy and can't form words.

Yknow when you have headphones on, but you're thinking of a song instead of actually playing it? He can hear that, so both of them are just sitting nodding their heads to the beat in silence gkjsdf

I keep imagining Seer throwing his arms around her and hugging her from behind ouo

I like to think his favorite animal is ducks! One of his voicelines mentions a Sprinx Mallard (presumably a fictional species), and Artic definitely gets him a duck plushie at some point!

I think he'd also really like colorful plastic easter eggs, this sparrow figure, multiplayer Buckshot Roulette, and Psyduck!

reblog and show me your selfship?:3 I wanna see em all! go crazy! tell me everything about them!

[itspileofgoodthings]

tags continued from prev post.

[butchnavi]

middle/high school me didn't form parasocial relationships with celebrities they formed serial parasocial relationships with random lesbian 20-something bloggers with a penchant for being 24/7 haters on increasingly obscure platforms (often that they had abandoned years ago) and would stay up till like 4am every night reading their posts from like five years back and collecting the Lore

[crabs-nonsense]

Having a brain no focus disorder like no stop clawing at the walls

And no I don't mean like adhd,,, I've been autistic my whole life. I mean getting POTS gave me brain fog that sometimes comes for me so hard. I can not focus. I can not concentrate. I can not use my brain. Pls I just want to be able to THINK for five minutes without losing it all.

[efa-solheim]

Efa leaned in as well, keeping her voice to low tones between the two of them, though it wasn’t necessary in a near-vacant setting. “No one has to know,” she uttered to him. “And we can do whatever we like: listening or playing. We could have a pretty good time blasting our favorite songs in some huge room, we’ll play it by ear. No pun intended,” she said, a smile immediately breaking out. “Everything is better at nighttime—I do almost everything at night. I like being awake when everyone’s asleep. It’s like time stops existing until the sun comes back up. Not to suggest an all-nighter, I’m sure you do lots of those on your own.”

She stayed put in front of him, letting him hold onto her hand like an anchor. Even if she didn’t explicitly say it in the moment, she had made a promise both to herself and to him that she wouldn’t go anywhere. It pained her beyond explanation how disappointing and unfair it was, the treatment he had received in the past, and even recently. To sit here and witness this young man nearly break down in front of her just about brought her to a point of anger, justice if anything. To know no one has ever given him a chance, not enough to make an impact. Her silent promise to stick unfailingly by his side only carved deeper within her, and she grasped his hand still.

“I’m more than glad you feel safe enough to cry in front of me, and even more glad that you feel a little better,” she consoled. “I’m so sorry this is something you carry. I promise it will get easier over time to feel things as they are. It’s scary sometimes.”

“I would… appreciate an anchor. I don’t think I really have one in a person, outside of my mom, but she’s been really busy lately. I try not to burden her too much.” Briefly her eyes lowered, and her expression dropped a little. “You’d be my first friend in a while.”

when Efa agreed to go to dinner, viktor felt even more excited than he had before. ever since he was little, he’d dreaded endings, afraid they meant he’d never see the people he said goodbye to again. to know she still wanted to spend time with him made him thrilled.

grabbing his coat from the rack near the door, he led her out of the lab, locking it behind him before they made their way outside. it was cold, and when he noticed she had no scarf, he offered his own, unwilling to let a friend go cold.

“here we are,” he declared when they reached the diner, the bell jingling when they stepped inside. “it’s never too busy here, which i like. order whatever. i’ll pay.”

( @efa-solheim )

[curiousserpent]

i want to write an essay on how all songs by luna luna are about fleetingness and death and making the best of the now and going on despite everything and the value of things/relationships that dont last and the non-existence of forever and how that is okay it's even good and---

[sysig]

Just thinking about @10yrsy’s Things, y’know, casually (Patreon)

[incendiorum]

I wish I could put you all in my head for like 5 minutes so you can absorb all of my thoughts and feelings on iovita's gender and then I could pull you back out and we could both nod and shake hands