#sometimes boomer jokes are funny

[beardedmrbean]

[gwyoi]

I kind of hate SpongeBob purists who think seasons 1 - 3 are the end all be all . I obviously don’t like current SpongeBob it’s too slapstick-y for me now but there’s so many episodes from seasons 4 - 6 that I love a lot . the freaking hinga dinga durgon was season 6 . the one where Gary ran away was season 4 I think (and it was so cute and sweet…. how could anyone hate it…)

[theromanticrationalist]

Raj: “Fine, if you want something to do, there’s about six months of data on this hard drive. Why don’t you go through it and see if you can spot any patterns or anomalies?” Sheldon: “Yep! I’m on it!” Raj: “Yeah, whatever it takes to keep you busy for a few hours.” Sheldon: “Found one!” Raj: “No you didn’t. There are millions of data points there!” Sheldon: “But, look, an optical transient.” Raj: “Yeah, maybe that is something. How did you do that?” Sheldon: “It wasn’t difficult. You know how when you see prime numbers, they appear red, but when they’re twin primes, they’re pink and smell like gasoline?” Raj: “No.” Sheldon: “Huh! I guess I’m a special boy! You know, sometimes when a boy is special, he gets a Fudgsicle. Which, by the way, tastes like the speed of light.” The Big Bang Theory Season 9x12 The Sales Call Sublimination

[15ktherapy]

“I tHInK wE ALl diEd aT tHe sAMe tIMe” GUMI WON GET OFF HER DICK!!!!

[batri-jopa]

Stealing the tags from @chrisoels

still fucks me up how there's people who think ''oh you play video games for 3 hours a day that's sooooo much 😱'' like. What.

[pawberri]

I've had some interesting experiences trying to explain to people that stuff like cartoon episodes where people go inside another person's body, or gags where characters get inflated til they pop, are not fetishes hidden in plain sight but are the SOURCE MATERIAL for the fetish content. My generation grew up with a lot of actual (ie Dan Schneider shows) or at least very suspect (ie Totally Spies) fetish bait stuff in media, so now there's a common paranoia around everything strange in children's media. There was even this brief scare online that all poop and butt jokes in children's cartoons and toys were fetish bait, rather than just pandering to what children find funny. (Sometimes this pandering does result in insane products like Poopy Slime Surprise Unicorns.) There's a more reactionary, inflammatory, pizzagate-y side to this mindset and then the casually misinformed version, but being inside kink communities you really see that most of the time it goes like this:

Boomer: I loved the iconic film Fantastic Voyage as a kid. Lemme put it in my cartoon as a funny nostalgic reference

Gen Xer: heheh... that's kinda.... I'm gonna draw someting crazee...

Millenial: I love the genre of fetish content known as Shrunken Guy In Body

Gen Z: How did they let them put Shruken Guy In Body in so many cartoons in the 90s

[idontknowreallyidontcare]

You and Husband!König sleep in a bed that would be able to welcome at least another 2 people. Truth is Colonel wants to be comfortable, he’s not risking his life on the field, sleeping in beds and places too small for him, just to come home to another small bed. He also moves a lot, he is funny, you always make a fool out of him because yea, he does sleep naked most of the time, but he has some kind of loose briefs he sometimes puts on, that have holes too large, letting his dick slip out easily. Finding him in the mornings with a ball hanging out on his thigh is something pretty normal for you, you tease him for it, but things don’t always go smoothly. Unfortunately for you König moves a lot during nighttime, and by a lot I mean A LOT, you can find him sleeping in weird positions and it would be normal. One particular morning, you’re trying to find his face, to caress him and hear his soft hums as he wakes up from your touch… well, what you have exchanged for a brief moment as his cheek, feels a bit too wrinkled. You go pale and your eyes open wide at the speed of the light. Yes, you just grabbed one of your husband’s balls, you scream and he wakes up. You really do hate those silly boxers. And hate how in a big bed like this one, he still manages to sleep close to you, waking you up with his dick almost onto your face a good amount of times! STOP!!!

Now he had a slip at the KorTac gym too, rookies would look at him like he’s some kind of monster but in a positive way, he does have some big balls, matching his stance, and his big cock.

Also in the showers everyone is kinda intimidated to wash next to him, because yeah, again, he’s just that big in there, and he has piercings, remember!?? People would steal glances, gulping at the sight of his cock and heavy balls just… hanging in there ig???

I hc him as being close not only to Horangi, but also with Nikto, so they would tease him a lot, making jokes about “do it clap when u fuck?” And he’ll be looking at them like 🤨 “fym? My balls? Or my cheeks?” lmaoooo he is a boomer but he has access to internet, he’s aware of ongoing memes and all that ‘young people crap going around”.

[hantenguclonesimp-minuszoha]

Sometimes I forget that the Hantengus are mentally 87 year old and I just can't stop thinking about the fact that all of them will at one point act so fucking boomer you'll genuinely wonder how he bags a bitch.

"What are these youngins saying with their mewing?"

"What's a meme and why do people think it's funny?"

"What the hell does that say? *old man squint*"

"Who is this Joe and why is everyone asking if they know him?"

"What's updog?"

I would lose my mind if one of them (ESPECIALLY KARAKU AND UROGI) fell for a ligma joke. Like, just imagine them seeing a phone for the first time.

"What is this object that's emanating light from it—why is it making that noise?"

[dairy-farmer]

Ok so obviously we all love when lots of people love Tim, especially when it's a rivalry thing where they keep trying to steal Timmy for themselves. But! This is almost always between the Bats: Bruce vs Dick vs Jason vs Damian. But have we considered... Damian vs Ra's?

Damian may have started out not liking Tim much, almost exclusively because of the whole 'favored heir/protege/general succession crisis' thing and Damian's jealousy. But Tim is just such a magnetic person, drawing people to him easily (Damian remembers a rather funny incident where Tim laid into a villain about how their stupid plan hinged on Tim trying to solve everything by himself, and how Tim isn't Batman - he actually has friends! And isn't afraid to ask for help!) that Damian can't help but start to genuinely like him.

And then one day Damian either notices the little gifts and trinkets that seem to appear addressed to Tim from Ra's, or one of his old friends/acquaintances/spies in the league mentions how obsessed Ra's is with Tim (even joking about how it's unclear whether Ra's wants Tim to be his heir or birth his heirs.) and Damian is like 'Wait, that was an option?!?' mixed with a good dose of 'How dare Grandfather try to steal Timothy away from us!'.

So now Tim is being hunted courted targeted by two Al Ghuls. Suddenly, Ra's 'thoughtful' gifts of lingerie and only slightly poisoned/drugged chocolates are being intercepted, and his dear grandson had started making romantic overtures towards his Detective. And poor Tim is caught in the middle (although Damian throwing his hat into the ring isn't that bad; at least he isn't trying to drug him or excessively sexualizing/objectifying him 😑).

Ra's shows up in Gotham for a 'friendly' chat with Damian, and the whole thing is very uncomfortable and vaguely terrifying for everyone watching: just ice cold smiles, an incredibly charged staring contest, and pointed comments, very thinly veiled threats, and double and triple entendres aimed at Tim.

Ra's :"I am the leader of the most powerful assassins in the world, with incredible wealth and power!"

Damian : "As a Drake-Wayne, Timothy will be one of the most powerful people in the Americas, let alone the world, and without having to be connected with killers - people that anyone who truly cares about and values Timothy knows he does not wish to be associated with."

Ra's : "I doubt our dear Detective had much interest in an untested child."

Damian : "And you think he'd prefer an ancient relic such as yourself?"

Ra's : "... Listen here you little -!"

Damian : "Careful of your blood pressure... Boomer."

Tim: "Do I get a say in this or...?"

Dick makes a joke about Damian 'licking Tim to claim him as his own, like Tim's a doughnut or something' and Jason goes straight for the 'at least neither of them has pissed on you yet to mark their territory'.

This goes on for a couple years, with Damian and Ra's constantly trying to one up each other. Damian will get Tim tickets to a concert he's been dying to see as well as offering to cover his patrol routes so he doesn't need to feel guilty about going, and Ra's will retaliate by delivering some evidence that Tim needs to break up two international trafficking rings. Ra's will send Tim proof that Captain Boomerang had been... dealt with, and Damian will orchestra the very public humiliation of Lex Luthor (Tim had recently complained that Lex had upset his best friend Kon, so he was ecstatic. [The only reason Damian isn't suspicious of Kon and Tim's relationship is that he is aware that Kon is 'terminally straight' and the one time someone suggested they were together they both pretended to throw up.]). And on and on.

One day, sometime in the future, Ra's gets a text with a picture and short messages. The image is a tasteful selfie showing Damian -shirtless and a bit sweaty- propped up in bed with a sleeping Tim laying on his chest -hair mussed and with some very obvious hickies. The message simply says "I win".

~🦇❤️

😭😭😭😭 damian being petty enough to send a selfie after he fucked tim

it has so much palable energy and im able to picture it so clearly because it reminds me so much of this !!!!

😭😭😭

[mage-propaganda]

So many people miss the point of my original post and I’m tired of it so come clarification:

Yes, some guys suck. Some guys are really horrible people, who do horrible things. This isn’t news to anyone! Though it might be surprising for some to learn that there are women out there who suck, are terrible people, and do terrible things too. Neither of these things are the point!

If you’re dating a man, maybe don’t constantly shit on him for a funny little thing like ~gender~ which he can’t really control. A lot of people will make fun of and hate the old boomer mindset of “I hate my wife” jokes and then will turn around and do the exact same fucking thing to their boyfriends. It’s stupid! It’s annoying! And it’s extremely prevalent in the queer, more specifically bisexual, community (aimed at both bi men and women) to the point it can just be straight up Homophobic at times (why tf you shaming a bi man for having boyfriend instead of a wife??).

“Oh but Bees, I have trauma! I can’t help hating men and looking at the person I want as my boyfriend in utter disgust” then don’t date! Go to therapy, work on yourself! Don’t subject some poor dude to constant vitriol because you refuse to work yourself! I swear to everything good people on this app, and others, will shit on disabled people, and neurodivergent people, for being disabled and needing some extra assistance from their partners sometimes (something they often CANT help)… and then turn around and be like “but actually…my trauma means I can verbally abuse my boyfriend for being a man :/// thanks :///“.

There, now all the sorry-ass-joy-sucking motherfuckers can shut the fuck up!! Here’s clarification!! If you see happy gay couples, or a confident trans man in a healthy relationship, or something and feel the need to add a rant about your failed relationship with a dude (so they can’t be happy either) maybe pick up journaling or something! Get hobbies! Enjoy life! And maybe stop with all your bad takes!!

[beardedmrbean]

[animentality]

Thoughts on this post?:

https://www.tumblr.com/animentality/64152073250/abc-newsman-proves-danger-of-allowing-transgender?source=share

thanks for reminding me to delete that post I made in literally 2013 when I was 15 because it doesn't reflect who I am as a person anymore.

is this supposed to be a gotcha?

are people supposed to be born woke?

I am amazed you managed to even find this post with like 6 notes, where I legitimately asked people for their opinion on the subject because I was unsure about it and I had certain taught biases that I hadn't learned to abandon yet.

it might amaze you to know that I once told a guy he'd make a great wife when he mentioned he liked cooking.

this was in 2012.

how cisheteronormative of me, right?

but you were all so woke in 2012, weren't you?

you never said anything that was not PC as a teenager.

you never told edgy jokes or said stupid offensive things.

you were born perfect, I'm sure.

it's not like I'm proud of the dumb stuff I said.

but I didn't start identifying as nonbinary until I was 18, and I didn't start identifying as trans until I was 21.

I was raised by an older mother, not a gen x er or a millennial, but a baby boomer, whose inherent biases still sometimes surface in me when I least expect it.

I was raised Catholic.

I had JUST STARTED PUBLIC SCHOOL, after spending literally 6 years in a fucking Catholic school.

I DIDNT UNDERSTAND transgender issues, nor did most people in 20 fucking 13.

how the fuck could I

my mom to this day doesn't know what the fuck nonbinary or trans are, and I identify as both.

how was I supposed to know?

I'd never even met anyone in the LGBT community at that point, nor had I realized I belonged there either.

I literally didn't even know I was pan at that point, or that I was nb/trans myself, or how I felt about most political topics.

that's why I ASKED.

and I said the wrong things. yeah, I did.

but no one had taught me the right words.

and in that post, no one bothered to explain it to me either.

I had to learn that over time.

and guess what?

I'm still not perfect now. I'm still going to make mistakes because times change, as they always do.

and all we can do is try and forgive people who are trying and doing their best, and remaining open minded to things they don't understand right from fucking birth.

but by all means, do search my history to your hearts content.

honestly, I kinda wanna see what dirt you find because this was an interesting look at the kinds of things I thought in 2013.

I can look back at myself and see how far I've come.

this post was interesting to read for me because it was wildly off mark, it misgendered trans women, and it lacked political, historical, and social understanding...

and so?

yeah?

it's offensive. it's bad.

and I didn't know any better.

but lol.

people learn things. people change their opinions.

if you people spend all your time digging up dirt and trying to cancel people for who they were, rather than who they are, or who they're trying to be... I have news for you.

your existence is pointless and your efforts are meaningless.

but I am flattered you did such a deep dive, anon.

please do find more and send them to me.

I'd like to know what other gotchas you can yank out of my ass.

I used to be on Facebook in 2011 before I deleted it in like 2013.

see if you can find anything there.

I used to write cringy poetry. it might be funny to read now.

[the0maski]

Only because of this panel:

Warriors: That’s the prettiest little shackle I’ve ever seen!

Time: shackle? haha

I strongly believe that Time doesn’t get those "Boomer" jokes. Yes, he is the old man of the chain, but he is acutely 30-35 years old which is still young (trauma aged him like milk mentally). Yet he would absolutely not understand even one of those hate-my-wife and marriage-bad jokes.

He is so in love that, he will do the math on those takes. In his head he is just trying to understand why that is funny. He would feel bad for the wives, but they would also tell similar things that are equally as bad.

His thoughts are just: Why does everyone see marriage as the end of life? Why are they cut from freedom? He comes to this bar every night, so where…? I never knew that happiness exists in such a way without her! I would give everything to spend more time with Malon!

He would not get along with these people, but he sometimes needs to talk to them.

Warriors is another story. If both talked about it, I’m sure Time would understand where the other is coming from. After being harassed and objectified from someone that claimed to "love" you, it’s obvious Warriors would see marriage and or, even getting into a relationship as the end of his world and freedom. They are both adults and can come to a compromise.

(I think that Jojo also mentioned that Warriors and his Zelda relationship was or is complicated because of all that happened to him)

[papirouge]

What the fuck does Romanian police arresting a sex trafficker have anything to do with American bullshit? Why does the swedish teen climate change activist that laughed at him on twitter trigger them so much lmao

IKR? They are straight up asking for Biden to pardon him, like......THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS. AND YOU CAN'T PARDON SOMEONE WHO HAS YET TO GET A SENTENCE!!! If they had a brain, they'd rather talk about extradition, but these idiots think Romania is the 51st state of the USA somehow... Honestly USAmericans deserve their reputation of being absolute idiots.

And yes, Greta got them real shook. Watching them navigate through the 7 stages of grief to cope with that trainwreck was hilarious.

First they spread straight up misinformation saying Tate got released....by posting months old videos of him partying. Bold of them to pretend to escape from "the matrix" when they are so kin to drown themselves in their own delusion by crafting a whole another reality to fit their own bias....like b, shut up about the "eScApInG fRoM tHe mAtRiX" YOU ARE THE MATRIX!!

Then they said Greta should be ashamed of making fun of the size of his peepee (funny, bc this whole anti bodyshaming thing came from the "woke mob" that Conservatives usually looove clowning for resorting to emotionalism...🤔)

And now they're seething saying that the Greta joke wasn't funny and that the narrative of him being doxxed by his own pizza was fake.....when those are actually just details in this whole fiasco, and tbh people being nitpicky about this just proves even further how they are too embarrassed to handle the bigger picture so they try to deflect onto small details. Whether Tate doxxed himself or not doesn't retrieve anything to the pathetic irony of him being arrested moments after making a lame 2 minutes video comeback bc he got his fee fees hurt by a one liner comeback on Twitter. What truly made people lose their mind was 1)that (low blow) clapback was out of character for Greta. She usually barely engages with anyone on her twitter account, so the fact she chose violence like that is unprecedented 2)the timing of him getting in a stupid twitter beef flexing about his wealth & lifestyle just before getting arrested was just perfect 3)the irony of him being dragged by an autistic girl half his age when his whole brand his the strong unbothered Alpha male is peak poetic cinema. Only stupid moids think they are doing something being like "sO yOu Admit yOu Have a sMalL peNis GrEtA?? tHat'S yOur oWn AdDreSS aMiRitE???🤪" ....like, that's such a typical boomer-tier brand of 1st degree level reading comprehension..... By making a stupider comeback to an already stupid post Greta took the piss out of Tate and there are no configuration in which he could possibly make a compelling come back. Brillant. Sometimes, you have to lay as low as your enemy, and considering the unpredicted consequences of this stunt, that's what made her move retrospectively outstandingly funny. Moids, scrotes and Tate-sexuals can seethe, Greta won💚

[stonesylove]

A night out in Berlin pt.4

"Babe"

Chapter 3 - Chapter 5

Alessandra was glad she got her alarm on when she woke up because she could never wake up on her own especially after a night out and even more when she had sex the night before, she looked over to the other side of the bed and he was there looking so hot even when he was asleep, Alessandra couldn’t believe what happened the night before but she didn’t have enough time to just sit down and daydream about the man sleeping next to her, so she got up put on her clothes getting mentally ready for the walk of shame to her home, it was truly a bad idea wearing a short shear dress in fall but as her best friend likes to say “A bitch never gets cold”. Alessandra took a cab and quickly texted him so Tom wouldn’t think that he was just a night stand or maybe she was the night stand but still it was worth taking the shot and inviting him for lunch, the Italian girl got to her flat around 8 am knowing she had to be at the studio at 8:30, at least it was close to her building.

The class went by as planned but Alessandra was completely sore from the night before, Tom was a big guy but she didn’t know a British man could do all those things, she thought that he was gonna be a fun vanilla man but she was so wrong, she knew she wouldn’t be giving her all and Giuliana was giving her funny looks through the mirror which made the situation more unserious, when the class ended Alessandra reached out for her phone in her bag to see a text from the British boy, and he was talking about his eyes but that message didn’t make sense to her until she realized she had posted a pic of her outfit and a little secret message for him, she loved that he take everything so lightheaded and didn’t make it serious.

Alessandra Di Maggio

well Tommy I know a couple blue eyed boys, so I had to shoot my shot and wait for someone to fall

My British boy (Tom)

Hmm I remember a short Italian girl kissing me outside of the club telling me that her favorite color was the color of my eyes 🤔

Alessandra Di Maggio

Such a hot girl move from that Italian girl

My British boy (Tom)

Yeah, she’s taking me out for lunch today

I need to talk about her riding techniques, I was impressed 

Alessandra Di Maggio

Hold your horses cowboy and reverse cowboy

My British boy (Tom)

That doesn’t make sense but I’ll give it to you😂😂😂

Alessandra Di Maggio

You just ruined the moment with that emoji grandpa

But I’m down if you wanna teach me some new stuff

My British boy (Tom)

You can’t call me grandpa and then ask me to fuck you in new ways

I guess that’s how ipad kids flirt

Alessandra Di Maggio

I can’t please you, you don’t like my cowboy jokes and you don’t like the grandpa jokes

My British boy (Tom)

Baby you please me in every way possible but you’re way too funny sometimes

But that’s okay, we can search for your funny bone tonight 

Alessandra Di Maggio

Maybe we can also search for your hair bald guy

My British boy (Tom)

I know the buzzcut turns you on funny girl

But I rather see you looking out for your clothes tomorrow morning

Alessandra Di Maggio

We will see, don’t be so desperate let me rest 

See you at 2 o’clock outside of your hotel British boy

Alessandra didn’t know how to feel about Tom yet, of course he really knew how to make her scream and she loved that but she didn’t want to get too caught up with him. Time passed by pretty fast to her liking and when she was brought back to reality she was waiting for the tall man outside of his hotel; she saw his figure walking out of the lobby and fuck he knew how to look like the hottest man alive. “Hi funny girl” Tom said hugging the short girl, “Hi daddy” Alessandra said making him laugh so loud.

“I like experimenting but I don’t think the “daddy thing” is something I like” Tom said catching his breathe, “You don’t like any of the nick names I gave you, literally such a boomer” she said trying to sound hurt but she loved to poke fun at him “Would you prefer if I call you tom nice balls?” She tried to be as serious as she could while saying that, to what Tom shrug his shoulders and said “okay nice tits”; the stupid conversation continued until they arrived to the café.

“So Tommy nice balls what’s your movie about” Alessandra said after ordering, “It’s the hunger games prequel” Tom said without wanting to give much detail because he knew he couldn’t so he tried to guide the conversation somewhere else; they talked about Alessandra’s work in the ballet company, she told Tom about the fall-winter schedule and maybe if he was in town he could go and see one show even tough she felt immediate regret because of Tom’s reaction talking about how he didn’t know what his schedule would be and that maybe he wouldn’t make it so he won’t make any promises, the Italian girl knew she wasn’t that important to him but she wanted to at least show him what she did for living. The lunch “date” was everything she could’ve wish for, they ate this croissant sandwich that he had to take some pictures of, they talked so much about life, what their dreams were, Alessandra told him about her plan of applying for the royal ballet in London or the American ballet theater in New York but she still had to finish the current season, at the end of the lunch, while Tom was being over dramatic about something that happened on set she saw how he phone screen lighted up and a text from someone saved as 

“Babe” appeared on the screen.

For the first time in a while Alessandra didn’t know to feel, of course they weren’t something serious not even a situationship but still she felt like a knot was forming in her stomach, saying something wasn’t an option she didn’t had any right to ask him about it so Alessandra decided to act like she didn’t see that and everything was perfect; after paying and walking out of the small café Tom tried to grab her hand but she made the excuse that it was freezing so putting her hands in her pockets were the only option, “so what do you want to do know” Tom said with a face she couldn’t describe, maybe he noticed something was off with her but she didn’t wanted to give it away, “To be honest I’m a little bit tired so if you want we can go back to my place and watch a movie or something, I know I’ll be home alone for the rest of the day” she said in a stupid impulse, he enjoyed his company and at the end she wanted to at least be friendly until she knew more about “Babe”. They walked to her place joking and talking, it felt like they’ve known each other for all their lives and she loved that both had a similar sense of humor, as they enter the small apartment Alessandra hanged her coat and asked tom for his, “Do you wanna watch the hunger games or billy the kid” she said making fun of him “I love that scene in billy the kid were everyone can see your ass” Tom was shocked but wouldn’t back down either “I’m really proud of my ass, I think the light reflected so beautiful on it” he said making the Italian girl laugh so hard she could felt how she was losing her breathe, they ended up watching this cute romcom she was obsessed with call “love,Rosie”, Tom had a lot of opinions bout how the main character was an asshole and they just needed to ask the other about how they felt ever and that made Alessandra think how his exact words were the same situation they were living.”Well I better get going tomorrow is going to be a long day in set” tom said to then kiss the short girl, took his stuff and got out the apartment. 

When Tom was gone Alessandra looked him up on instagram checking his comment section to see if she could found any comment that would lead her to “babe”, she knew that all she was doing was crazy but the curiosity was eating her alive but this was something she needed to do; Alessandra read all the comments on all his post but every women that commented was either a fan or a friend so she started to think that maybe she had read that wrong and maybe it didn’t said babe but she was sure of what she saw.

Tom Blyth posted a story 

Alessandra Di maggio answered the story 

Oooh you went out with someone to eat croissants 

Tom Blyth 

Yes yes with a cute Italian girl but almost had to grab a high chair for her.

Alessandra Di maggio

You are such a funny guy 🙄

Alessandra decided to post some fun pic of her last couple of weeks also a great bikini pic that went with the aesthetic, specially a pic she took of Tom massaging her feet the night they watched films in her apartment and fuck his hands were HOT, also a pic she took in their night out of him dancing on a table.

Liked by tomblyth, giuli_123 and 1,992 others

Alessssa REd BabE or something like that

Tomblyth great masseur you got there

   alessssa might book another session for this week

giuli_123 coke add?

  alessssa yes, and?

Username1 hottest girl alive

Username2 live your best life girl

Liked by alessa, rachelzegler and 106,823 others

Tomblyth Dumb blonde out and about 

Username1 from who are those hands hun????

  Usename2 must be Rachel

     Username3 she doesn’t have long hair rn

Hunterschafer your almost a Berlin boy now

 (Tom liked the comment)

Username4 RUE WHEN WAS THIS????

alessssa fav natural blonde

   Tomblyth 100% natural, grow by me

     Username5 babe who’s this

       Username6 private profile??

         Username7 grow up, men can have friends

Joshandrerivera living your best life Tommy boy

    (Tom liked the comment)

Rachezegler that’s some nice red polish

    Username8 right?????

      Username9 those are your hands???

        Username10 MOTHER

After the date they had or well she didn’t know what to called what was that but she had an amazing time with Tom but she couldn’t get out of her head the thought of him having someone else in the States, she knew this wasn’t something serious but she didn’t want to be the other woman, that’s why she decided to text him get the conversation started and ask him about that.

Alessandra Di Maggio

So do you have a girl in every country you work in?

My British Boy (Tom)

That’s not funny Alessandra 🙄

Do you think I’m a fuck boy?

Alessandra Di Maggio 

Don’t call me Alessandra🙄🙄

I’m not judging

My british Boy (Tom)

That’s your name pretty girl

I won’t call you a Alessandra if you won’t call me fuck boy

Alessandra Di Maggio

I promise you I won’t call you a fuck boy

But being serious you don’t have a girl back home?

 (Delivered 2:22 am)

[lu-lus-dicks]

Hi, here's about me and some questions you might have!

Updated: april 26th 2024

MINORS DNI please

Important!! Please don't use real money to do things for me in any capacity. It makes me uneasy, uncomfortable and puts a lot of pressure on me. Thank you for your understanding <3 also Important: I can not and will not take anything seriously, if you want to say something serious to me, send me a DM, I'm more likely to respond seriously there

Who are you?

@ nunalastor's emotional support white boy™

People just call me lulu on here. I'm 20 and go by any pronouns. AFAB (and cis). my gender is whatever makes you gay. somewhere on the ace spectrum.

Also CEO of forcing people to get some fucking sleep!

important note: I respond in the horniest ways to @ nunalastorscursedkitten, but they have explicitly stated they don't want sexual stuff directed towards them without their consent. I have confirmed that they are okay with me responding in a horny way and you should make sure before doing it too

tags (will not sort these out at all):

who is safe here?

lulu is delulu - my posts

babygirl anon fest - asks specifically from babygirl

revoke lulu's art license - my art stuff

nunwhiskers - the ship of nunalastor x huskers-bar

lulu is feral - reblogs where I am feral

lulus nun reblogs - I just tend to reblog everything of nunalastors so it's a tag now

lulu reblogs - art/theories/incorrect quotes ect

lulu convos - me interracting with peeps here

lulu crooks - going into detail about things i shouldn't be going into detail of. (maybe infodumping)

cursed polycule - me and the 100+ husbands/wives interracting (xxx-angie list in their pinned)

lulu asks - me answering asks

this is a nunalastor simp blog - anytime I openly bark for nunalastor

lulu lore - me accidentally dropping irl lulu lore

lulu fun facts - exactly what it says

lulu polls - polls

lulu is a boomer - me not knowing basic pop culture things cuz I live under a rock

lulu loves nunalastorscursedkitten / and paincaat too / lulu loves paincaat / and nunalastorscursedkitten too - my interractions with @ paincaat / @ nunalastorscursedkitten

lulu loves getting called slurs - me getting called the f-word

lulu infodumps - infodumps about stuff that might not always be hazbin hotel

fools being sexy - @ the-aprilfools-bitch tag

everyone except minors. I don't judge. This is a safe space regardless of race, gender, sexuality or anything else. Be as cringe/not cringe as you want

What is this blog?

Used to be a hazbin blog, now turned to me simping for daddy nunalastor and interracting with the cursed polycule

What can I ask or share with you?

Literally anything you want to share, no limits. I respond to everything, even hate so if I haven't responded I'm either asleep or the message didn't appear in my inbox.

One thing I don't respond to is chain sends cuz I can't be bothered with that shit. Anything else is a yes

What's with the bad English?

English is my second language. I pride myself on being able to read it fluently, but I might have problems with talking in a way that flows naturally to native speakers. So sorry bout that

What time are you active?

Honestly, all over the place. Don't look too much into it, but I'm from the country of Georgia if that helps

Can I use your ideas?

Absolutely! You don't even need to ask. I won't say this is a necessity, but If you decide to use them, I'd love it if you'd tag me. I love seeing all kinds of things people make and I'd love to see yours too!

Why are you so unhinged and sexual? Aren't you ace?

Asexuals aren't all sex-repulssed and can enjoy it too. I am uncomfy with the act of sex but I love joking and shitting about it. Me saying something is hot/sexy/makes my dick hard is just me saying "I love this and i think it's cool" when that isn't enough to express my love. (I think I'm being funny)

Is the art on nunalastor's blog you sometimes repost yours?

Yes, the art posted on their asks by mylz-flick is by me. It's my primary blog and i don't use it for anything so all my asks are submitted through there

Why don't you post as often anymore?

Because all my posts go straight to nunalastor's blog. Go check them out, it's great

By nunalastor s request:

Who hurt you?

Nunalastor did when they rizzed up my mom

What's with the worms? That's disgusting

Well, nunalastor made this post and it turned me on a little ngl

What is the cursed polycule?

Well, I spontaneously decided that my go to funny (not funny) joke would be to start asking everyone who agreed with me or had similar tastes to kiss me. Long story short, now I'm a whore™ with 100+ husbands that I can't keep track of and that's the cursed polycule

Why do you keep calling nunalastor daddy?

Many reasons. First, Nunalastor saying they would fuck my mom in the DMs when I told them about her. So naturally, if my mom and nunalastor got married they would be the dad hence, daddy. Also, nunalastor is unapologetically my favourite blog on here and the title "daddy" is reserved for them. Also their word is law to me and they deserve the respectful title

The way you interract with minors is disgusting

I have minors please don't interract in my bio for a reason. I expect a decent human being to see that and kindly leave my blog. I don't check who I'm responding to most of the time so I probably didn't even notice it was a minor. I'm just trying to be fun.

If you are a minor and I responded/reblogged your art or post with some batshit crazy shenanigans like I do with everyone, send me a DM and I'll delete it. I'd rather it be in the DMs instead of out in public because out here I have people acting like they hate me and I don't want to accidentally take something that's meant to be a serious request to stop like a joke.

What's with that one pregnant anon stuff at nunalastors blog?

Listen, I don't care what shit people send me, but if you even dare harm, harass or just in general be an asshole to the ones I consider nice people, I will not take that lightly.

To everyone: if you get haters, tag me so I can draw them pregnant.

Is the cursed polycule an actual relationship or just a joke?

It's just a joke between us.

Can I join the polycule?

Daddy has revoked my marriage license so you'll have to consult with the other members. I take what daddy demands very seriously

You can however, talk to the other members of the polycule and join. We could also have a platonic relationship going on in the polycule if you want

What is up with you and pronouns?

Sorry, in my native language there are no gendered pronouns. We just have a singular he/she/they for everyone. I use he/him for me (despite being a woman) because it's what rolls off the tongue easier for me. For everyone else I use they/them because you can never go wrong with neutral.

Are you actually attracted to nunalastor?

Why do you keep mentioning nunalastor calling you the f-word?

No. It's me and paincaat my beloved. They say gay shit to me and I find that hot

Because I genuinely /gen /srs loved it. This isn't a joke. It made me overstimmed and honestly was a little overwhelmed with giddiness. keep in mind though, that while I enjoy getting called the slur, I will not be calling anyone that because that makes me uncomfy.

why haven't you responded to my reblog/comment/ask?

I generally respond to everyone I can. but either it was

lost in my notifs

was posted by a minor and I don't want to attract minors here

If it was on a reblog of something, I assumed it was meant for op

I just couldn't think of anything to respond with (which is rare)

feel free to let me know if it was either 1 or 3 but I won't respond to minors