#something stable with him independent from his family

[malaierba]

I can't hold myself back I need to be extra about Karabita

Okay first of all some regrets about writing that post in the tags 💀 didn't think I'd want to add to it

Anyways something something I'm thinking about "stop writing domestic Karabitas they couldn't be less domesticated" and, LMAO always, but also.... when you REALLY think about it, it's so real???

Things that happened in Karabita's canon TL on S1

Chibita kidnapped Karamatsu, promptly realised that his brothers weren't going to save him, felt so bad for him that he switches end goal

Except that in true madness aesthetic, he does the exact same thing but worse. Didn't even clue in Karamatsu on his plan

This ofc resulted in Karamatsu getting his ass burnes and beat. Chibita ditches him, too embarrassed by his failure

Pretty sure that's after this that we get the bald!Karamatsu episode. In true Karamatsu fashion, he seems to forgive Chibita and gets close to him.

Upon hearing that Karamatsu has ✨ NO PLANS✨ he basically forces him to become his oden cook understudy. Karamatsu's pushover tendencies landing him in hell once again BUT ALSO proof that Chibita is... yknow, like, really passionate??? unrestrained sometimes???

Then there's the flower fairy thing. Karamatau notices that something's wrong with Chibita, so he follows him and witnesses the birth of the flower fairy. Implied that he once again forgave Chibita.

He ofc gets sidetracked, tries to get his own flower fairy too, ends up in an abusive relationship that possibly ended in marriage.

Again, we see someone taking advantage of him being too timid to set a (1) boundary. But also, so much denial? The man was fully in delulu land, arguing with his brothers about there being ✨ NO PROBLEMS✨

I think a lot about the fact that, to my memory, we didn't see any of the Matsuno's in the marriage 🫤 Maybe the flower fairy knew that even the sextuplets would try to oppose the union? Definitely feels like Karamatsu was dragged into it with little to say in the matter

Then THE karabita moment of S1, Karamatsu asking Chibita to let him live with him while he gets his life in order (this was never going to happen (who said that))

All of that to say two things

S1 Karamatsu shows a worrisome pattern when it comes to relationships, both platonic and romantic (and platonic-to-romantic!? Karabita Nation: Rise)

While I'm sad that we get less interactions between those two in later seasons*, it's at least a good thing that we see Karamatsu start to develop a backbone. Thank you Choromatsu and Osomatsu for your service 🫡

* I can mainly think of Chibita's maid café skit (where once again we saw Karamatsu flabbergasted at Chibita jsjdjdj) and when Chibita solo'd the sextuplets, where Karamatsu was the first to notice that they had crossed a line by leaving Chibita fully bald + reached out to him + was also the first to realise that Chibita had infiltrated their home and was gonna hunt them down one by one

Okay time to fully put on the shipping Googles fr 🧐

I know some people were of the opinion that karabita low-key became an impossibility after Karamatsu flaking on his intention to become independent post S1, particularly because S2 implied with the very rude episode that threw shade at the Ososan fangirls, that he basically ghosted Chibita for months??? And then there's the Hatabou/Chibita fucking under the influence of a love drug thing, which is... certainly a thing that happened.

I'm of a more optimistic, and perhaps sympathetic opinion. I think that S1!Karamatsu was NOT mature enough to enter a relationship, let alone one with Chibita, who is well-meaning and loudly cares about him, but can also be... let's say 'overwhelming'. And a bit forceful. Karamatsu brings enthusiasm and devotion to his relationships, and he can be serious for periods of time, but he was better at standing up for others rather than himself.

There's also so much... trauma between those two. Chibita's flower fairy taught him to love more than oden, which in a way taught him emotional vulnerability. As someone more insightful than me said in a meta post, loving oden is safe, it can't betray you or let you down, but it can't fulfill the role of actually connecting with people. After the flower fairy dies (SHE DIES), Chibita says that oden tastes more salty. His worldview expanded, which gave it the potential to be more fulfilling but also made it more vulnerable, more complicated.

Then on Karamatsu's side, well, abusive marriage. I think that in S1 he would've still been a bit in denial about the true nature of his relationship... dumbass is definitely the type to romanticise things to cope. Low-key I think his shades must be rose tinted what with the way he misses all red flags.

But by S2 and especially S3, we see that a lot of these, er, reconstructions of reality that he willfully believes are kind of falling apart. He's TIRED of being taken advantage, he's seen acknowledging that he has regrets, that being a NEET is starting to feel like a waste of time, but we also see him more hesitant about taking a future path. Unlike in S1, where he was desperate enough to take whatever came his way (even if it would've made him deeply unhappy, seriously why was he looking for office jobs???), we see him thinking about it seriously.

That might not be entirely positive, as I think he may be prone to paralysis by indecision, but the intention of going things with purpose and conviction is there.

What IS positive is Choromatsu encouraging him to say no, Osomatsu reminding him to just speak up when there's something bothering him, and the amazing pizza skit where he finally speaks out his honest mind even if it ruins the vibe.

So I'm thinking thinking thinking. And I think that it would be interesting to read, or try to write in my case, about a Karabita story that's set post S3. Where Chibita has seen Karamatsu's flaky side, but could also eventually see him being more reflective, more honest with himself about his shortcomings and regrets and hopes for the future, a Karaboy that's a little bit more outspoken.

A Karamatsu that perhaps felt something for Chibita but was a bit scared of his passion, that perhaps pulled away out of a fear he couldn't quite put into words, but who down the line realised that someone whose life boils down to passing time might not be a fair match to a self-made man. And maybe he's not in the place to actually do something about it, but he can at least admit it to himself, and may eventually admit it to someone else.

A Karamatsu and a Chibita that reconnect around the safe dynamic of chatting around oden and daily stupid topics, but that are worn down by it little by little, because by now Karamatasu has seen Chibita kind of change post flower fairy, but not really, still clinging to oden as a safety blanket, and Chibita has seen Karamatsu's determination from S1 fizzle out, but may also have gotten glimpses of him having an actual spine.

A story where their concern for each other remains constant, because they care, THEY CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER, and they keep mending their bond despite all the cartoonist shenanigans that happen — But where simply caring is not enough. Where the love is powerful, but is not omnipotent. Where Chibita can actually voice the fears he'd have about dating someone like Karamatsu, and where Karamatsu can be grounded enough to acknowledge that they're valid, because he has the same doubts about himself, and where he's also honouring his boundaries enough to talk about his past relationship trauma and the dynamics he'd like to avoid, because he has a history of falling into them.

Anyways thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

.

[running-with-kn1ves]

Satin Pillows To Cry On

CW: coercion with money, age gap(7 yrs), transactional marriage, obsessive/yandere behavior

gn! reader

﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀

You’ve got nothing else, no one else to rely on. 

‘You’re something he bought to keep from growing old.” 

Your clothes are worth small countries. Your cars stacked in 3-level garages. Diamonds, emeralds, pearls hanging from your wrists and ears, satchels made of endangered animal skins, different shoes for each day of the year. 

Your boyfriend of three years spat at your feet when you told him what you were doing. 

“His money can’t love you, not like I can.”

The wedding was only two months away when you broke up with him, told him you couldn’t live in his broke-down apartment anymore, that you couldn’t live with debt trailing wherever you went. You went so far as to make him hate you, to tell him that you never wanted to see him again, that you never loved him, that he better not bother showing up to the wedding. You didn’t want him there, you never wanted to see him again. 

“You’re lying to me; he’s making you say these things, he’s using you against me! You’ve known him what-- two seconds, and you’re going to marry this man?! He’s nearly a decade older than you!” 

Seven years of an age gap or not, he was still a thousand times more independent, wealthy, and a safer choice than your boyfriend. You weren’t some fresh college student new to the world, you had graduated over two years ago, still finding no luck in getting a stable income-- forget about whether or not it was in the field of your degree. 

You left in a single day, fitting all of your scavanged belongings into one of your fiance’s awaiting cars. You left anything worth of value with your ex-boyfriend, knowing he’d find more use out of it than you would. You would even leave the rest of your things there if he could find use for them, but you knew they’d just be one more painful reminder of your betrayal. 

He did as you said, not showing up to your wedding, staying clear, never appearing in your line of sight since the day you left. It made it easier…. For both of you that way. 

And now you were happy-- well, maybe not happy, maybe not even content, but you were… safe. You had everything you needed: a working car, a stable job that you felt productive in, a clean and comforting house to come home to, a spouse. Sure, maybe you didn’t get your new job yourself, or your house or your car-- but did that really matter, in this economy? Who wouldn’t trade their life and their independence for this kind of wealth?

And your husband… he wasn’t all bad. He might have only wanted you for the sake of having you at first, like a new jewel or the latest technological invention. But he was doting and caring in his own way. Maybe just a tiny bit too invested in you, in your schedule and who you talked to. A little too hateful towards your ex-boyfriend, the one who had you before he could. But everyone had character flaws, and on good days you could distract him from his grumpy mood and stress and obsessive behaviors by being the loving and oh so perfect spouse you had trained yourself to be ever since he asked to marry you. 

“Colder than all that gold…” You repeated in your mind, the words your family whispered to each other at your wedding reception only a few feet away from you. 

That was over six months now, though… the honeymoon phase never existed, you rarely saw your husband except for his midnight appearances back from the office, and whenever he would whisk you away for a weekend vacation to savor the time he had with you. For someone more sophisticated, much wealthier, and dare you say handsomer than the average man-- you were surprised to find he didn’t have a line of divorces behind him. 

No; he said, he had been “waiting for you.” whether  you or he knew it, he understood right from the moment of meeting you that you were the one he’d have for the rest of his life, even if it killed him. That severity… scared you. But in a sick sense, it made you feel relieved. Forever? This could be yours, forever? Your family would never have to struggle again, you would never have to worry where your next meal came from?

“I cleared your schedule until tuesday; we’re going to the isles. A mini vacation, you might call it. Get your things.”

He was cold, that was for sure. But, was he any worse than your ex-boyfriend, especially when he was offering you an expensive experience on top of that?

“All right..” You acquiesced. 

And now, you lied sunken into the bed feeling his loving, hot breath on your navel. Going so sweetly slow, so oddly and uncharacteristingly lingering with his touches as he gazes into your eyes. You didn’t like this; didn’t like that when he was cherishing you, making love to you, holding you so intimately, he was appearing… like a husband should. Where did he get the nerve to ignore you everyday, to have hardly any time for you, only to come back and beg for your love when it was convenient for him? 

But you keep your mouth shut, like you should, if you want to keep eating breakfast in bed, keep wearing silk robes while watching the view of the ocean outside your window.

“So beautiful…you’re like a work of art, the kind no amount of money can buy.” 

That was funny, hilarious even. Enough so to make you cry. 

A familiar face passes by the slightly ajar door to distract you, likely one of the housekeepers leaving for the night. But you swear the man’s figure reminds you of someone from your past, someone you loved and left for good. 

Your husband brings back your attention by placing a gentle kiss to your temple, blindly undoing the clasp of the necklace he bought you.

“I’m so lucky… so lucky to have been the one to catch you, forever. No one could’ve done it, not without what I have.”

He wanted you to kiss and caress back, but sometimes lying still was just enough. It was enough for him to witness you, basking in the glow of everything you wore from him, lying in the Egyptian cotton sheets he paid extra for, your body molded to the diet his personal chefs cooked. 

Even as he pushed a knee between your legs, traveling from your navel to your stomach with open-mouthed sucks and kisses in the rawest form of affection, you couldn’t help but turn your face deep into the pillow. So soft, the soft purple shielding your eyes from his tender gaze.

You might’ve given up love, given up everything familiar and those who you’ve cared for-- but at least you had satin pillows to cry on, and the finest jewelry to wipe your tears with. 

[thedivinetarot]

Light of my life, fire of my loins, my sin, my soul

Who is your future spouse?

☆How to chose the perfect pile?

1) Clear your mind.

2) Take a deep breathe.

3) Ask the question in your head.

4) Open your eyes and the picture that you are drawn to the most is your pile.

☆ Before you get into the reading you have to know the following:

- Please, please and I will say it again please do not think of anyone while you are choosing. Not your Ex or current boyfriend or even your crush. And I will say it again DO NOT THINK of any man as your future spouse if you want to have an accurate reading.

- This is a general reading so take what resonates and leave the rest. The future is not set in stone and the energy can change. This reading does not substitute any medical or professional help.

- I might do part 2 for this reading.

Stay safe ❤

Arya

Pile 1 - Bram stoker's Dracula

☆Where are you coming from? Your current love life:

I see that this pile have been lonely for quite some time and they are wondering if they will truly find someone. I see that you guys are overthinking everything about your love life and you are leaving no space for divine intervention. This pile’s energy is quite sad and tormented? You perhaps tell yourself that you don't need anyone but you truly want to build something stable and long lasting. I see that you feel stuck on I'm independent I don't need anyone mindset. Not because you really like being independent but because you are afraid of getting disappointed. The problem with this pile is the fear is literally paralyzing you and sabotaging any potential connection that can fit into your life. I'm also seeing that you might be someone who have been rejected and the pain of rejection is still vivid in your core memory. I see that you truly want love and to be loved! You might have a crush on someone with virgo or taurus placements. Or you might feel drawn to those type of men who embodies this archetype. I feel like you are kind of traditional towards dating. You might have had strict family or you really have a strong opinion regarding dating or hookup culture. This is your pile if you have strong virgo placements, water placements or the description fit you perfectly.

Who is your future spouse?

Pile one you might be manifesting your twin flame to be in a marriage with them? This person might enter your life so soon and above all you might get to know him online? I see that he might like your photos if you post yourself or he might just DM you through social media? This person is so grounded and stubborn. He is so earthy and stable in a generous way. He is the perfect mix between fire and earth. He is so childish or he aim to see infinite possibilities. I see that he is doing shadow work or he has been to therapy before. I see that this person is either a heartbreaker or been heartbroken many times. He is so naive or he seems naive? He might prefer texting over phone or video calls. There's an emphasis on his hair. He have curly and dark hair. His eyes are sleepy or he have sleepy eyes. There's something about his face, you see those people who have sleepy faces? Like they just woke up? I guess he might have that. He might look innocent and angelic. Like his aura is so comforting and serene. I also see that this person look younger than his age with hazel eyes. His style looks chill, like you see those guys who wear comfy hoodies? He might be one of them. I asked when will you meet him and the cards told me that you may meet him 6 months from now. You might be on a journey of self discovery when he enters your life. You might be losing weight and if you are not trying to lose weight; you might be trying to get in shape. I see that you are going to meet him after doing a lot of shadow work and inner reflection.

Pile 2 - The Addams couple

☆ Where are you coming from? Your current love life:

This pile is my daring and flirty pile. You might like your solitude but you flirt for fun. I see that most interactions that happen between you and the opposite sex are online. You might like to post spicy photos of yourself. Or send nudes to total strangers in public. You might like to take initiative in relationships. Even if you are a woman/female; you simply don't care about the traditional roles. Especially on who get to initiate to whom. If you like someone you are going to get them, I see that this is your moto. Also this might be your pile if you are stuck on a decision regarding travel. You might want to travel but you are juggling too many responsibilities and this is holding you back from actually pursuing that goal. If you are a man (since the dominant energy on this pile are men or masculines) you might be posting photos or nudes of yourself online. I see many risky photos and poses and if you are not a man or masculine then you might be doing the same action. You really value your own space; I see that you are protecting your peace at all costs. I mean yes you might like to flirt for fun with others but nothing really is serious and you are not looking for something serious either. This is your pile if you have significant leo or Aries placements.

Who is your future spouse?

Your future spouse is someone that you are going to meet through group project. At first as I said about your current energy, you are not looking for something serious so when you meet that person you'll find it kind of confusing. I see that you might be blinded at first. Like you might not notice them and if you are working with them you might not be attracted to them. They are not your usual type, they might be smart and quick thinker. This person knows how to take care of themselves. He might also know how to take care of women in general. Men might call him simp but he is no simp he is just so kind and empathetic towards women's needs. He is so determined, I see that once he put his mind on a goal he doesn't stop when he is tired, He only stop when he finish. I see that he LOVES to conquer a good challenge. He likes to to be assertive and he is looking for someone assertive too. He want his equal, his queen. He might look like he suit you? Wait let me rephrase it. You see that two people who are not dating but everyone in workplace ship them? You two might have intense chemistry. This person look like a heartbreaker. Eye color range from brown to gray or just those two colors. His hair is so silky or wavy. He have this confused look when he talk to you? He might even drag his feet while he walk, or he might look tired when he walk.

Pile 3 - Nosferatu

Where are you coming from? Your current love life.

Well, looking at the cards this pile is in their sweet feminine energy who wants princess treatment and to be spoiled. If this is not the case then this piles are for mothers or you are a mother or pregnant. If you are not pregnant and you are the girl who is in her feminine energy then I see that there's someone who wants to pursue you and he is so damn confident about it. I see that you guys are so confident in yourselves. Perhaps, you are someone who is working on their self esteem and self worth. I see that whatever the case you are in. It is going to pay off. For my girlies who are being pursued by someone I see that this person is very serious about you. He want to marry you quiet literally. This person sees you as his wife or future wife. I also see that this connection is meant to be and is distant to happen even if you are not aware of it. This person is quite civilized and diplomatic. He want to make you happy and cherish you, but if you don't want him it is your choice at the end of the day. I see a lot of happiness in this pile. Guys happiness is your middle name, since the energy or the cards I'm pulling are all yellow and yellow means happiness in tarot. Another energy I'm picking up on is that this pile doesn't really want to be strong and independent. Unlike pile one who is pushing themselves to be that way, this pile is accepting the fact that you want to be a stay at home mother or a rich wife of a rich dude. Most people in this pile are Venus dominant, have taurus or libra placement or have venusian energy in general. You guys might be the pretty girl in your friend group and everyone enjoys looking at you.

Who is your future spouse?

So right off the bat what I'm seeing is someone who have a lot of options. You know that one man who is wanted by every woman because of how friendly and charismatic he is? This man has this energy. It looks like this person is someone who has been heartbroken before and now he keeps his options open by befriending many girls and keeping his options open. He have the cup of love and he is so eager to give it to someone, I'm also picking up on someone passionate and eager to explore life. This person is sooo romantic in a cheesy way. I see that many times he attempted to get in a relationship but got afraid and back off from pursuing something serious. This person believes in manifestations or he tried manifesting an SO or future wife or this person really believes that he can create the reality he wants. This person gives off the vibe of a knight in a shining armor or a Disney prince tbh. This person look like a literal baby or he have baby features. He might have round or oval face. This man can be a little overweight or fat with blonde hair and blue eyes. He is so cute I'm seeing a picture of someone who look adorable and sweet. This person gives off the vibe of "I look good as a husband". But in general this person look so childish and baby like. Could look younger than his actual age? Or this person might be younger than you, but not so much like a couple months younger. He is so friendly or he have a lot of female friendships. This man gives off the ENFJ vibes Idk if you know mbti but you can Google it if you want to. He is so emotionally mature and caring. His energy is so nurturing. I asked the cards about when will you are going to meet him and they said he will enter soon into your life and one of the signs is a female around you is going to give birth or you are going to meet a pregnant woman or one of your relatives/friends will get pregnant. There's a NOTE for this pile specifically; if you are being pursued by someone this person is your future spouse. And if you are not being pursued by anyone then you might know who your future spouse is. And if you don't have anyone then take the reading with a grain of salt but you can enjoy it anyways.

Pile 4 - Hollywood couple

Where are you coming from? Your current love life:

This pile is truly stuck. I feel like I'm bored and desperate I want to cry. Like guys what is the matter? There's both boredom and stagnation. You might be someone who is really bored with how things are in your love life. I'm picturing a girl about 16 to 18 years old who want to be open to love but there's a man in her life (could be a male caregiver) who is very strict and structured. This man literally destroyed your well to date anyone. I feel like you are discouraged by the idea of love and I feel that you are unbalanced in a way? Like you are trying to protect yourself from getting hurt but at the same time you want love so freaking bad. I'm clinching my jaw and I feel like I want to scream and yell and kick things around me. Pile four why are you so angry? Please calm down! There's nothing in this life that deserve all this anger. Please take a break and go balance yourself and life. You are still young and have no experience and life is still long in front of you. I see that you might be waiting for something to happen; for someone to come in and rescue you from your life but nothing really happens so you pour all of your anger and resentment on yourself. Please stop hurting yourself and go find a hobby or something that can help you channel this anger and resentment. I'm picking up on someone who is bottling up their feelings and not really trying to express them. I also feel headache, do you have headache pile four? Are you bloated too? You might have significant leo and Aries placements. A little Taurus placements and sun, mars and sagittarius dominate. I feel like you are waiting and waiting but the waiting itself got bored of you lol. And you end up feeling devastated and angry. This pile’s energy is so rageful, please do some meditation or workout to get rid of that anger. You might also be scared of change? And overwhelmed by the idea of change? You might be someone who doesn't really like things to change and stick to a specific routine. Anyways let's get into the reading.

Who is your future spouse?

This person is very hardworking and workaholic. I see that the main focus in his life is his career, money and stability. This man is a little bit selfish, and he became like that because of how much he suffered. This person suffered from poverty, or he was very poor. He might even get kicked out of his family house so he can work and get them money. This person got bullied a lot by his peers and saw a lot of cruelty in his life, I feel so sorry for him. This person might be closed off emotionally, it is like he is trying to shelter himself from any possible heartache because of what happened in his childhood. I also see that when you meet him he might not be ready for anything serious or he might not really have healed fully from what has happened to him. There's an age gap here, he might he older than you or more mature. Like 4 years older. He might also be a co-worker of you? Or acquaintance If it is not then he might work with you in your field. The main challenge he is facing is stability, he want stability to be able to marry you. My advice for this pile is don't try to force things out if this person is not ready for commitment. He hasn't healed yet and his main focus is on the material. He might even use you if you attempted to help him financially so please don't. What really amazed me in this pile that this man is so materialistic, his love language can be gift giving. Now his appearance; this person look so cocky and confident. He have hazel eye color and sharp features. This person's back look hot or beautiful. He is not that tall, he is medium height. His hair is dirty blonde or chestnut brown. A foreigner? He might not be from your country. This man is possessive to be honest. If you met him after he get his ish together he will spoil you rotten but if not then don't try to help and heal him. You might meet him at the end of November to the most of December.

Post date: 25th/Aug/2024 - Sun

*Feedback is appreciated

[pascaloverx]

DANDELIONS

Summary: You are the new guest of the Bridgertons. Your mother, an old friend of Lady Violet Bridgerton, has requested that you spend a season at the Bridgerton house in hopes that you will change your perspective on true love and marriage. You are convinced that love is a fictional construct and that a marriage without love will be your downfall; but some time with the Bridgerton siblings might change your mind.

Author's Note: The characters belong to the Bridgerton universe and Julia Quinn. However, the story will have some changes from what happens in the Bridgerton series (2020-). Dear readers, this story may contain strong language and steamy romance scenes. It may even feature a love triangle. Be warned and enjoy the reading.

AO3 LINK TWO

ONE

"A great idea," you grumbled the entire way from your house to the Bridgerton house. Your mother had told you it would be an excellent idea for you to venture into society. "An independent mission," she said. Your father is so ill and trapped in his own world that he didn't mind letting his only daughter go to a stranger's house. Your mother has given up on arranging a conventional marriage for you. She doesn't respect the fact that you don't want a marriage like hers. You wonder if it's so wrong to want a marriage filled with tenderness, passion, love, or any feeling other than indifference. You basically grew up knowing you were the product of an obligation. The only child your parents managed to conceive before your father became too ill to have more children. Or rather, before your mother gave up trying to love him. When you were born, at least she had shed the moral burden of having to provide your father with an heir. Obviously, both she and he had hoped you would be a boy. But you think that over the years they have grown accustomed to you. This year, for some reason, your mother wants you to get married. Perhaps it's because your father is on the brink of death. If you find a husband who can manage your father's properties and investments, maybe you will become something useful to your family. Your father only mutters about wanting a male grandchild to carry on his legacy, and your mother wants you married. After Lady Violet Bridgerton successfully married off her daughter Daphne, your mother began to think that perhaps she could help you. So, after exchanging a few letters, you are now on your way to the Bridgerton house to be introduced to society's marriage system.

"I need to step out of this carriage for a moment," you say as you stop murmuring your mother's words. Your companion gives you a look that says, "She's lost her mind," but you know she will eventually let you get out of the carriage.

"Actually, we are already in front of the Bridgerton house entrance. I must remind you that your mother recommended I stay by your side most of the time," Mrs. Lydia says, as if you didn't know that, as your companion, she is supposed to always be nearby.

"I know your job is to protect my honor, but believe me, if I enter the Bridgerton house in my current mood, they will expel me before midnight. I need a moment to think," you say, nervously adjusting the hem of your dress. Your companion gently nods as if she understands. Lydia is the closest thing to true family that you have. So it's no surprise that she understands you.

"Enter the house for a moment and be polite. There's a stable on the Bridgerton property; I'll see what I can do. Ask Lady Bridgerton or the Viscount Bridgerton if you can go for a ride. And try not to get into trouble. I'll pretend to accompany you but give you some time alone," Lydia says, and you hug her tightly. A good horse ride after meeting the Bridgertons is just what you need. Not that you know much about them. You can only imagine. They are several siblings, and you are an only child. It's not hard to imagine there will be some incompatibilities. Minutes later, you step out of the carriage with Lydia, observing several people standing around you two.

"Dear Miss Y/L/N, it's a pleasure to welcome you here. I must confess that when your mother informed me of your arrival, we all looked forward to it," Lady Violet Bridgerton says as she approaches you. She seems so friendly that you feel inclined to hug her.

"I would like to thank you, Lady Bridgerton, and your lovely family for your hospitality. Unfortunately, my mother couldn't come with me, but my companion Lydia is here," you say awkwardly. The truth is, you're feeling that this season at Aubrey Hall with all the Bridgertons might be more challenging than you imagine.

"Let's not waste time exchanging pleasantries and let's go inside so you can see your quarters. I believe it will be the perfect time for you to get to know my children better," she says as she guides you into the house. The place is spectacular. As soon as you enter, you see some people approaching.

"Miss Y/L/N, I must warn you that this family can be a bit lively, but we will try our best to welcome you with courtesy," says a girl who must be a little younger than you. She has a book in her hands and is the first to approach you as you enter.

"Eloise, don't scare off our guest. Welcome to our abode, Miss Y/L/N. My name is Colin Bridgerton, and if you need someone to talk to, I'll be available. But I know that after a journey, the best thing is a good night's rest," Colin says to you, who smiles, finding it amusing how many Bridgertons are showing up.

"I believe I should thank Miss Eloise for the warning and Mr. Bridgerton for his kindness. Although I believe I still have a long way to go until my restful moment," you say, looking at the two who seem pleased with your gratitude.

"Your dress is beautiful, Miss Y/L/N. By the way, unlike my older brothers, I know how to introduce myself. My name is Hyacinth Bridgerton." A girl who seemed not to be at the entrance of the house just moments ago suddenly appears, saying this as she walks quickly toward you.

"You're mistaking knowing how to introduce yourself with flattery, Hyacinth. I'm Gregory Bridgerton, but you can call me Gregory," says a young boy who appears to be almost the same age as Hyacinth, while the girl taps him on the shoulder. You find it cute and funny how they behave. Having siblings seems to be at least entertaining.

"The younger ones are so noisy. I wish you a pleasant stay with us, Miss Y/L/N. You'll need it. If you need some peace, just look for me. My name is Francesca," a young woman says kindly as she moves away from the confusion that this introduction session is becoming.

"Now that Miss Y/L/N has met most of the Bridgertons who reside in this house, how about having some tea in the garden of the property?" Lady Violet speaks gently, touching your arm. You nod in agreement.

"I would just like to go to the quarters where I will be staying for a change of clothing. I hope you understand, Lady Violet." You were already starting to feel pain in your back from the corset that was too tight on you.

"My dear, you can call me Violet, and you may go. I'll ask them to take you to the room where you'll be staying, and your companion will join you shortly to assist. Once you're done, I'll be in the garden waiting for you." Lady Bridgerton speaks, and you follow the servant she assigns to show you where you'll be staying. Knowing that Lydia will be with you shortly, as soon as you enter the room, you lock the door.

"What are you doing here, Miss?" A male voice speaks as soon as you lock the door, and you startle as you turn around to find a man, his shirt slightly unbuttoned, staring at you.

"I'm almost certain that I should be the one saying that, sir. I must warn you that if I were to scream, you'd be in trouble," you say, composing yourself as you observe the man looking at you curiously. Perhaps he knows that you wouldn't scream because it would ruin your reputation, or maybe he is part of the Bridgerton family, considering your mother warned you that there were three older adult brothers.

"Do you really want my family to know that I'm inappropriately dressed near you? Let me guess, you're desperate for a marriage and want to make your life easier by tying me to you?" The man speaks as he straightens up, buttoning the rest of his shirt.

"How dare you accuse me of such a strategy, considering that it is you who is in the quarters assigned to me, improperly dressed, and with an attitude worthy of pity. Honestly, my last thought at the moment would be to force a scandal so that you would have to become my husband," you reply, holding yourself near the door, keeping yourself away from whoever this Mr. Bridgerton is in front of you.

"Forgive me, Miss, but I don't trust a word coming out of your mouth at the moment. However, I assure you that this type of situation is not customary. I was trying to enter through the window of my room or one of my brothers' rooms, but I ended up in here. I had no idea that you would be arriving today. In fact, I'm being rude at this moment. I am Viscount Anthony Bridgerton," he says, approaching you cautiously as if analyzing you. Perhaps he is trying to figure out if you are an opportunist or not.

"Without intending to be rude, but already being so, whether you are a Viscount, Prince, or Duke, I don't care. What matters now is that no one finds out that we are alone here," you say, looking him squarely in the eyes, as if to firmly convey that you absolutely do not want them to be discovered.

"If you can draw the attention of the people in the house to yourself for a couple of minutes, I can leave the way I came in. Do you think that would be possible?" Anthony says with a certain petulance. However, a bold idea occurs to you. You give him a determined look and then step closer to him, bringing you both very near to each other.

"I'll simulate a small fall down the stairs. You'll have the time it takes for me to miraculously recover. Be efficient, Viscount Bridgerton," you say briefly and storm out of the room, aware that spending more time in the Viscount's presence would be a real test of your self-control. The room was starting to feel quite warm.

You descend the stairs, doing your best to appear slightly unsteady. You kick the last step with all your strength before reaching the bottom of the stairs and let out a loud groan of pain, loud enough to be heard from afar. You even manage to tear up a bit, waiting for everyone to come and check on you. Just as you are lightly sprawled on the floor, a man walks through the door. You don't remember being introduced to him before, but he is certainly a Bridgerton. He sees you and immediately rushes towards you.

"Miss, are you alright? Can I help you up?" The man asks with a concerned and caring expression. Knowing that Anthony needs more time, you let out a cry of complaint as if in fake pain when the Bridgerton in front of you tries to help you up. At that moment, you start to be surrounded by several people.

"Oh, I think I twisted my ankle, but there's no need to worry. I just need a moment," you say, uncertain if you can keep up the pretense much longer.

"My dear, don't strain yourself. Benedict will help you to a room where we can call for Dr. Lewis to examine you," Lady Violet Bridgerton says as she lightly touches the arm of who you presume to be Benedict.

"May I?" Benedict asks seconds before you nod your head in agreement. But to be honest, you're not even sure what you're agreeing to. Until Benedict lifts you, asking you to put your arms around his neck. You hold on tight to him, somewhat afraid he might drop you.

"Mr. Bridgerton, you are very kind. I believe you didn't need to lift me. But I am grateful for your help," you say as you are leaned close to Benedict's chest, which you now notice is slightly exposed. What's with the Bridgertons today that everyone is showing more than they should?

"I must admit, before my family enters here, that it was amusing to take part in your charade. It was quite artistic of you. I hope you'll call on me if you want to star in another theatrical piece to get my brother out of trouble. Have a good afternoon, Miss Y/L/N," he says all this as he gently releases you onto a sofa. He doesn't seem angry or anything like that; genuinely, he seems to be enjoying himself. As soon as he leaves the room where he left you, the rest of the Bridgerton family and some servants surround you. Now you'll have to pretend to be in pain for a little while longer while you're intrigued not only by one but by two Bridgerton brothers.

[sh0tanzz]

I remember reading an astrology obsv about seunghan which said he might not be the best partner long term since he loves adventure. That makes me think, which members are most to least suitable for being husbands, based on astrology? Love your reading so much <3

RIIZE HUSBAND MATERIAL ~ based on astrology

reminder this is based off of MY opinions of their birth chart placements + aspects and is not exact fact unless I knew them myself and in no way am I saying members ranked lower cant/never will be married !!!

Shotaro

Capricorn Venus…that’s it. KIDDING but he aims more so for long term relationships and stable commitments in the traditional sense so getting married or at least having a long time partner is probably something he desires at some point. His scorpio placements are possessive and bent on loyalty so if he’s with the right person they’d get locked in imo, he'd be the breadwinner and like a traditional family dynamic when married.

Sungchan

He’s a leo venus with a cap mars so I think he’d want to get married and have kids since Leo and Cap are both synonymous with “maintaining your legacy and family name” I put him second because he’d want his choice of marriage partner to make him feel validated and approval especially by his family ESPECIALLY by his mother. Let’s say he was thinking of making someone his fiancée but his family/friends lowkey side eyed his choice..he mighttt change his mind about it. Like Shotaro he'd be a proper provider and might be into the "nuclear family" trope.

Anton

He's mainly husband material because he can take care of himself and wouldn't necessarily rely on his wife for much of everything, he's a taurus venus so he likely would be pretty traditional on a basic sense like paying for things and being committed however I don't think he'd settle down until after living a full portion of his life being independent and only having to worry about himself before adding someone into his life for the long term.. 

Eunseok

Husband material without wanting to be the husband IJBOLL. See when I analyze Eunseok with diff mediums (typology/astrology/etc etc) I can see him 100% being someone's long term partner BUT the label of marriage might be something he doesn't care for. He doesn't like feeling constrained or pressure so being with someone forever SURE ofc ! he secretly wants that ! but. being labeled and having legal documents attached...um. If it was normal in SK culture to not get married to your long term spouse I think he'd take that route. 

Wonbin

Honestly I really wasn't going to put Wonbin this high until I did some brainstorming. His pisces venus and taurus mars makes me feel like he lowkey has this "dream life" or "fantasy" where at a point in his life where he'll find 'the one' and have a comfortable life of being a husband (maybe or at least having a long time partner). Also in multiple readings he wants to be the masc counterpart with his partners and do what a boyfriend is "supposed to do" However he might take a very long time for him to find "the one" or commit to the right person commitment is extremely hard for him especially since his idealized idea of a person can break so easily .

Sohee

Sohee is a Sag Venus, they can be very very hard to pin down and they’re super picky about who they stay with due to the fact that Sag venus wants an equal that is on the same level as them, not someone that makes them feel “owned” and not someone giving him the responsibility to “own” them. But he's a pretty fair partner that can take his own responsibilities and an easygoing lover however he cares about his livelihood and freedom a lot plus he might think with his lusts/desires (venus/mars square) rather than viewing dating and marriage from a more serious pov

Seunghan

Loves the idea of marriage, isn't fond of the act itself. Similar to Eunseok I think he'd rather have a long time partner without the extra of marital duties attached. He's a very romantic sweet guy swear he is but he has a hard time expressing more deeper/complex feelings and is pretty avoidant in times of disputes and as we know marriage it has it's hardships and I think said hardships would turn him off. Also…venus square saturn..like…naur. He’ll fear missing out with other possible romantic opportunities

[art-story-by-deroko]

"Awoken memories"

-If you have a problem with me...

...then spit it out, man.

It relates to this post. My “Afterthoughts” AU has two endings. This is from the “bad one”.

Since Bon is Buddhist monk he probably believes in reincarnation.

Imagine if maybe... A century after he passed away Rin meets a young exwire one day who looks, acts and sounds like his Bon.

I tried to show something like rebranded True Cross Academy uniform. The arrows on "reincarnated Ryuji's" shoulder is a special version for "exorcist cadets". The blue arrow represents that, the orange represents main Aria course and his class. In this timeline exorcist are wildly known and even considered a prestige position in life. Even after a couple centuries demons are rampant and fighting for Assiah freedom is a nonstop job. At this point Rin is the Paladin of True Cross Order for at least the last 60 years. They even gave him even more special title:

"Echo"

Rin also leads Myodha's sect since the day of Ryuji's passing.

It's not like he is responsible for everything there but the sect is under his explicit protection as a part of his family. Because they are. He is a highest Elder amongst their people. He is responsible for big decisions and changes in organisation. Also the sect grown big enough to be considered a daughter branch of True Cross Order. Pretty much even gaining autonomy and independence while being Order's Allies.

So Ryuji's reincarnation is actually from that branch since it's a large Buddhist organisation with connections amongst families.

Rin doesn't know them all personally sometimes so he was not aware of his existence.

Some cadets are invited to True Cross Academy from that branch too. His name is Ryugo (龍吾: dragon; me, I. As if screaming about his past life). And he is from a distant village down south of Japan.

Also Rin was not aware of Ryugo's existence but the young man actually was. Rin is his hero and he admires their "Highest Elder" to the moon and back for everything he has done for the sect and the world. He also wants to be his apprentice. And he WILL succeed in his pursuit. But Rin will accept him on his secon year after many attempts to keep distance from someone who was his Ryuji but not him at the same time. Exorcist training is now 3 year course as any other faculties.

Also, Ryugo did fall for Rin the first day he arrived at Academy.

Mephisto lost a lot of his powers during war. So every 10 years Rin would perform a flashy ritual on the first day before the sudents to renew a powerful barrier around True Cross town. (Many exorcists wannabes enroll in Academy a couple weeks earlier to train and preform in that “show” and help to solidify a stable barrier. Ryugo was one of these wannabes)

He fell hard. It was a mix of his admiration and unexplainable feelings he held since the day he saw him in person. (Perhaps these are remains of Ryuji's will and a wish to find Rin in his next life to be with him again. Too bad he didn't have time to say it out loud on his deathbed while he looked in Rin's teary eyes with his last breath)

[homunculus-argument]

I'm pretty sure I've made a post about this exact specific thing before, but I'm going to type this out anyway, because I can't get over how Tove Jansson's work depicts masculinity, and the idea of gender in general.

While she was - and still 100% is - absolutely a wlw icon (being the first woman to bring a same-sex date to Finland's annual independence day ball in the Presidental Palace), and her work doesn't focus on men or masculinity, she had no resentment towards the male sex as a whole. In her works, the male characters are mainly amusing creatures, up to their silly masculine antics that men are bound to do just the same as squirrels are bound to build their certain type of nests and migratory birds are bound to fly to the south for winter.

There are characters - whole species, in fact - that more or less represent people trying to perform their respective gender roles, like the Fillyjonk who manages to be a strictly normative Housewife without any mention of her having a husband, and the masculine counterpart of generally male hemulens. While there are both fillyjonks and hemulens that are happy being Traditionally Feminine and Traditionally Masculine, there's one short story of a fillyjonk who doesn't enjoy micro-managing an immaculate household, and another one of a hemulen who doesn't enjoy any traditionally masculine hobbies but tries to arbitrarily pick one anyway, because of societal expectations to have one.

But the thing is, the characters who don't fit into standard strict gender presentations are perfectly comfortable with themselves and neither they nor anyone else really gives a shit. Jansson was born in 1914, and it's remarkable how neutral the characters' depictions are to a modern eye. Being personally finnish and introduced to her works in a language that doesn't have gendered pronouns, I literally did not know what gender a few of the characters were before encountering their english or swedish descriptions with pronouns. And I never wondered whether they're supposed to be male or female. Hell, even the character representing the love of her life is depicted like this, and it never crossed my mind to wonder whether Too-Ticky is male or female. She's just Too-Ticky, who dispels wisdom.

But coming back to masculinity, the way Jansson depicts male characters and The Masculine Urge To Do Shit isn't depicted as either superior nor inferior to her female characters' ways of doing their own thing. Sure, men cause problems on purpose from time to time, but the narrative doesn't depict this as inherently bad any more than it is inherently good. The protagonist Moomintroll is a boy and does his best to perform some ideal of being manly, but it's depicted as a part of him trying to grow up. His father's misadventures in trying to be either a wildhearted Manly Adventurer or a Stable Provider For His Family - and the conflict between these two ideals - aren't depicted as bad things to want, or something he shouldn't want, but just an inherent part of being a man.

The protagonist's girlfriend Snorkmaiden is depicted as vain and frivolous as much as she is kind and loving, but her girlish silliness and genuinely kind heart aren't depicted as being contradictory to each other, it's just who she is as a person. The protagonist's mother, Moominmamma, is the platonic ideal of a loving and patient mother and wife, and The moomins' TvTropes page actually goes as far as describing her as fitting the definition of the platonic ideal of the perfect traditional japanese woman, being gentle, loving and hospitable, but strong and unhesitant to protect her family. She doesn't humour her husband's whims out of some schooled and practiced dedication to the role of feminine submissiveness, she puts up with his stupid shit because she loves him.

Tove Jansson was a splendid woman and her work and art are rightfully one of Finland's proudest gifts to the world, and whether she was gay or bisexual, it clearly shines through her work how as much as she loved women, she didn't dislike men. The Masculine Urge To Do Shit is aknowledged with a jovial shrug: "Yeah, they do that sometimes."

[milliesfishes]

millie i’m gonna need you to write something about the vasectomy i beg

⋆౨ৎSweet Nothings⋆౨ৎ

[fem reader] contains: pregnancy scare, sexual references pairing: alex nilsen x fem reader summary: you and alex have a scare that causes a big decision author’s note: first alex fic rahhhh! this is based on something that happened in the book but it's millie's version :) Pinterest Board Spotify Playlist

You were late.

Not late in a fun way, like at parties or the last hours of the night. The thing that was late was a certain womanly bleeding between your legs, one you dreaded but needed at the same time. It was a smoke signal, a universal thumbs up that you wouldn't have to worry about a life changing thing for the next thirty days.

Fish curled around your legs as you stared at your calendar, pen shaking above the day marked in black with a single sad face, the day that passed over a week ago. It seemed to taunt you, and you longed for the innocence you'd had when you drew it. Alex used a physical calendar because he claimed he could remember things written there better than on his phone, and you'd adopted the habit as well when it was proven correct.

Your pen clattered to the tabletop as your hand flew to cover your mouth, the realization really hitting you then like a freight train. Your monthly was famously on time, and you always said that it was the only part of you that was. In the past year you'd adopted the habit of going to sleep with a pad in the night before it was set to come, to save several pairs of pajama bottoms.

This week, however, had been a blizzard of work, and there had been a small family crisis that hadn't warranted your flight home, but had kept you on the phone quite a bit, hanging onto text updates. You hadn't even thought about your period since the last one ended.

But now its absence was glaring at you, pointing a finger with a single dreadful word you didn't even dare think yet.

A shaky breath escaped you, and you buried your face in your hands, tears bubbling up and spilling from your eyes. This was all wrong, all so, so wrong. You and Alex had always been careful, or you thought you'd been. One thing you were in agreement on was that you didn't want kids. At least not right now.

It wasn't a money issue. Well, it wasn't not a money issue, but it was more that you wanted to be steady. Your jobs were both secure, lives locked down, love for each other confirmed, but you wanted to enjoy it all. To be young and in love and as stable as the two of you were was a rare thing. Alex had bought a house for goodness' sakes, his grandmother's, but an independent living space nonetheless.

Besides, you loved your life as it was now. To work at a job you enjoyed that made a more than decent living and come home every night to your cat and the love of your life all handsome and happy was everything you'd dreamt of.

And it was all about to be upset if your fears were proven correct. All because of a stupid, undetectable mistake you weren't even aware you were making.

The keys clinked against the doorknob, a telltale sign, and you stood abruptly, staring at the door as it swung open. Alex appeared in its line, the sun lighting his silhouette like a halo. He looked tired, but a smile appeared the second he saw you standing there. With one hand, he firmly shut the door, slipping his shoes off and starting to remove his jacket. Fish padded over to greet him, his black tail bent at the tip. Alex gave him a series of gentle pets before looking up at you with a boyish grin. "Hi baby."

You were frozen in place, new worries overtaking you. How would he react to this? Alex set his bag down and made his way over to you, sliding his arms around your waist and burying his nose in your hair. "How are you?"

"Fine." Your voice nearly broke, but you kept it together, hiding your face in his chest. He always smelled clean and fresh, like laundry, even after a long day dealing with hormonal teenagers. "How was your day?"

"Long." He kissed the top of your head. "Glad it's the weekend. Glad to be back here with you." Alex pulled back, but his smile dropped when he saw your face. Apparently it had fallen back into revealing the nature of your thoughts during its time in his chest. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing!" You forced your mouth to turn back up, but the way he was looking at you caused it to plummet right back to the depths. The tears you'd thought you swallowed stung your eyes again, and a pathetic little noise worked its way out of your mouth.

"Oh, baby-" Alex pulled you back in, and you began to sniffle, a little sob shaking your shoulders. He managed to lead you back over to your chair, where he sat and pulled you across his thighs. You hid your face in his chest still, humiliated by the fact that you hadn't been able to hide it for more than a few minutes after seeing him.

He rubbed your back, letting his lips fall to your forehead. There was a calm front that you knew would be disrupted the second you told him. Alex was steady and unmoving with your troubles, but this was different. "Did something happen?"

You sniffed, nodding and pulling back to look up at him, searching his eyes. "I...I..."

"Slow down, shh." Alex smoothed your hair behind your back. "Deep breaths, sweetheart. Don't work yourself up." His thumb found your cheek, stroking back and forth, effectively soothing you. "Whatever it is we can figure it out."

Taking a deep, unsteady breath, you searched his eyes, voice breaking every other word. "I'm...I'm...late."

"Late?" Alex frowned, confused, but then he noticed your calendar. The black sad face looming like a homing beacon. You swore he went pale. "Oh."

Squeezing your eyes shut, you bowed your head. "I'm so scared-"

Alex pulled you back in, cradling your head to his shoulder. He must have been hiding his own shock, as was his way. That was how he always was- comforting you first, composing himself.

When he pulled back, he was all soft words and gentle touches, tucking your hair behind your ears and drying every tear that dripped from your eyes. "Okay. Okay, here's what we're going to do." He was shockingly calm, ever your rock in the storm. "I'm gonna go to the drugstore and get a few tests. You're going to stay here-" Alex shifted you off his lap and stood, opening the fridge and pulling out a can of lime-flavored sparkling water, one of your favorites. "-and drink this. Okay?"

You nodded, taking the can from him after he popped it open. "Okay." The voice that passed your lips hardly sounded like your own, it was so tiny.

He kissed your forehead, holding his hand to your cheek for a second longer than maybe he usually would have. "I'll be back soon, alright? It's gonna be okay."

After he left, your mind was blank except for those four words.

It's gonna be okay.

Negative.

Every test you'd taken came back with one line. Alex had waited dutifully outside the bathroom while you relieved yourself on each stick, leaving them on a towel on the counter. He set the timer on his phone, and then the waiting game had been afoot.

He held you through it, rubbing your back and taking deep breaths that encouraged your own. All you could think to do was cling to him and pray.

When the timer had chimed, you felt like you were walking to your doom. Alex stood behind you, and you could feel him holding his breath.

The first thing you did when you saw the matching results on each test was turn around and cry into his chest. His hold on you was tight, and you felt every anxiety from before fly from your shoulders. It was okay. It was all okay.

No words passed between the two of you. Not about what had happened. Alex swept the tests into the trash can, tossing the towel into the laundry basket and asking if you'd be okay for a few more minutes while he went to get dinner. Everything was a haze as you nodded, and he left you bundled in a fluffy blanket on the couch, double-checking that you were okay before he left again.

You passed out, exhausted from the emotions that had been running rampant in your mind for the past little bit. It was an enormous jump from fear to relief, and your body was limply feeling the effects.

It hardly felt like five minutes had passed before you awoke to his fingers in your hair, gently stroking. You leaned into his touch, shifting your feet and feeling something warm and furry beside them. Fish.

Opening your eyes, you blinked sleepily at him, and he gave you a tired half smile. "Hey. You hungry?"

Sitting up, you yawned lightly, nodding as a response. Alex's hand found yours, twining your fingers together. "I got you a salad from that place you like. And a smoothie."

"Thank you." You leaned forward, pecking him on the lips. "That sounds wonderful."

"I'll bring it to you." He was standing up before you could protest, and then Fish crawled half onto your lap, rendering you immobile.

Once Alex returned, he let you settle into his side while you ate, balancing your salad on one thigh and his on the other. It was quiet, but you didn't mind at all, taking the time to reign in your thoughts.

Setting his and your empty bowls on the coffee table, Alex lifted both his feet onto the couch, parting his legs and reaching for you, as if he was reading your mind. You crawled into him, head against his chest, and he tugged the blanket over the two of you. Fish walked over your back, laying slouched between your side and the couch back, right on Alex's arm. He grunted, shifting so he could still hold you but accommodate the cat.

You rested your ear over his heart, the steadiness of its beat soothing your unsteadiness. Alex always managed to still whatever typhoons were raging within you.

He thumbed your hairline, and Fish started purring, vibrating against both of you. When he spoke, it was in a whisper. "Can we talk about it?"

Nodding, you lifted your head, disarmed by his expression like always. He was serious yet tender, unyielding but gentle. You whispered, "That was really scary."

"It was." Alex's hand on your lower back was drawing soft circles through the blanket. "You were so brave."

You shook your head. "No. You were strong and I was a mess. I..." you trailed off for a moment, the words fleeing your mouth before you could regulate them. "Taking the tests...it really made me realize that I'm not ready for that. I...it was terrifying."

"Yeah," he murmured, hand tracing parallel lines up your spine now. You could practically hear him thinking but couldn't deign to guess what he was about to say. Alex inhaled once through his nose. "What would you think if...if I got a vasectomy?"

Eyebrows shooting up, your eyes went as round as saucers. Fish's purring halted for a minute before starting up again. You shifted on his chest to look at him better. "A vasectomy?"

"I was thinking about it for the entirety of both car rides," he explained, petting your hair now. "To the drugstore and to get food. It's something I've considered before but I never really thought about it seriously until now."

You were still searching his eyes, perplexed as to why he'd jumped there of all places. Maybe later you would have suggested better protection, but never would you have asked this of him. It wouldn't even be something you'd have thought of on your own.

Alex cupped your cheek in his hand, and you leaned into it. His eyes didn't leave yours, making sure you were looking at him too. "Seeing you so worried...I never want you to feel that way again. And the procedure's reversable. We can do other things beforehand just in case it doesn't turn out to be. But..." he pursed his lips for a millisecond, letting out a breath. "If you ever take a pregnancy test again, I want you to be excited. Not scared."

Now your eyes were welling up again for an entirely different reason than earlier. You nodded, hand finding his on your face and squeezing. "Okay."

"Yeah?" Alex turned his hand around and brought yours to his lips. "You'll let me do this for you?"

"Yeah," you whispered, and he smiled, kissing your forehead and adjusting the blanket. Fish purred contently, rolling over onto his back, paws stretched out like he was reaching for the moon.

You kept your eyes open, content as could be. Alex lazily trailed his hand up and down your spine, and after a moment, he murmured, "We're going to save a fortune on condoms, baby."

A laugh passed your lips, and you hid your face in his chest, pressing your lips to his heart.

"I guess we will."

[bookishjules]

things about rebecca lewis i myself choose to believe:

she went to new jersey for college because she wanted to be away from home but not so far that she couldn't hop a train and check in on her mom and brother

yes, that means when she came home to "do laundry" it was never because she had dirty clothes. new jersey is far enough from brooklyn that such a trip for laundry does not make sense in measure of time or money.

she studied art history in college because it was more financially reliable than going for art or fashion design

she knew simon wanted to study music, and she wasn't going to risk their mom not having something to fall back, given her propensity for not being able to handle difficult situations in a stable manner

after college, she moved back to brooklyn less because she wanted to and more because of the reasons she only went as far as nj for college, despite jobs at art galleries and museums being harder to get in nyc than they are elsewhere.. which is how she ends up working at the restaurant that caters simon's engagement party

as for her own romantic endeavors.. i don't believe she gets married until her early 30s. unlike shadowhunters, she has no reason to marry or have kids earlier, and with her touch of hyper-independance and the lag in her career, it takes a bit longer for her to settle down

as for who she settles down with.. it really could be anyone. i just know she'll make an incredible partner to whoever she ends up with

she is also, for that matter, an incredible aunt to simon and isabelle's kiddos

as a kid herself, she didn't have a clary, whose family she could escape to. she had friends, but no one close enough to find a real father figure in any of theirs after her own had passed. not that she'd really wanted a replacement. but i think simon gained a lot from having luke to lean on in his teenage years, and becky never had that opportunity

nor, for that matter, did she have someone to be a mother figure when her own mother wasn't doing the best job. simon had rebecca, but rebecca only had herself.

none of this felt like a burden to rebecca at the time ofc. she likes helping people. she likes being there for her brother, likes having him rely on her. but the result of it all tugs at her well into adulthood

finally and least relevantly: her favorite taylor swift album is red.

[sanctus-ingenium]

How old are the novices when they start working on the mezian beasts as smith/knight apprentices?

i broke out the ol powerpoint just for you (zoom in to read)

initiates come from many sources both within and outside the church - from babies randomly dumped on the doorstep of a cathedral to willing donations from the laity. It is a tradition that the first non-inheriting child in a family will be given to the church, it's a huge honour for the parents. but in circumstances where the children are taken without the parents' consent (this happens quite often), the kids are transported to different cities or cathedrals without the parents' knowledge.

all initiates are given new names by the church (forenames in alphabetical order paired with a surname indicating where they first trained) and all efforts are made to eliminate any lingering familial bonds. the mandatory masking helps with this.

i wrote way more than i intended because it was something i needed to write up anyway for my own reference and to refresh my knowledge lol enjoy.

The initiates are given a normal religious education and then when they are considered old enough to do simple supervised work (around 8) their capabilities are tested to determine their life path. Here i have only illustrated two paths - smith and knight - but they can also become scribes, priests, cleaners, cooks, whatever the church may need. needless to say, the knight's path is the most selective, as ultimately there is only one knight at a time, and most of the knight novices will fail to progress.

smith acolytes aren't assigned to any one beast or master, and do basic grunt work - a lot of scrubbing armour and cleaning mechanisms - until they become junior novices at age 12, where they start to be trained to handle more responsibilities. Junior novices are assigned to holy beasts based on need (the beast's master smiths will let the church know when they need extra hands on deck). There's no real age limit to this - a novice is a novice until they become a journeyman, but at a certain stage a junior novice is expected to formally ask a master or journeyman to train them one on one (aka to become an novice apprentice). Whether or not the senior smith accepts is entirely up to them and often depends on their own workload, if they can take on an additional apprentices, etc. They often play favourites and if a novice shows a lot of talent, there could even be competition to see who claims him first as an apprentice.

Once you become an apprentice you get an intensive high quality training that lasts a couple of years until you can be considered a journeyman, someone who can be trusted to independently conduct all tasks required of his profession to a high level of skill. on this chart i only have the primary and secondary route mapped out for mercury smiths but it's the same for all smith disciplines - primary smiths are more prestigious as they work directly on holy beasts, but in truth secondary smiths, who work on commercial engines and designs, are the real moneymakers in the church.

a master is considered a master when they produce a new, innovative design which showcases their mastery of their art. a new efficient engine, a piece of elaborate metalwork, or a new application of dragonsblood - it has to impress a board of established masters enough that the smith is awarded the master rank. masters need to show proof of new innovations on a regular basis and are expected to have at least one apprentice at a time. Mercury Luca, who is in his 30s at the start of the story (after the prologue), earned his master title by designing Leun's current heart block (replacing the original heart design, which was a copy of Pantera's heart built by the late Mercury Rodrigo, Leun's original enginesmith. the heart killed him).

Each holy beast has a master mars and mercury smith permanently assigned to him, and in stables where multiple beasts are maintained, seniority will go to the master smiths of the highest ranked holy beasts (therefore, Mercury Luca, Leun's master enginesmith, is the highest ranked in the stables despite being younger and technically less experienced than the other masters). Saturn alchemists primarily deal with the matters of dragonsblood fuel and dialogue tattoos so have slightly different rankings - First Master Saturn alchemists work on holy beast fuel management, while Second Master Saturn alchemists work apart from the beasts by providing dialogue tattoos to smiths.

Ultimately, all smith apprentices will end up working at their field even if they are eternal novices who never earn enough goodwill to get apprenticed. It's not the same for knights. There can be only one at a time and a knight has no set expiration date - they might die in battle tomorrow, they might serve for thirty years straight. An apprentice knight is expected to be able to replace their master at a moment's notice, mid-battle if they have to, so are always on standby.

The novices selected from the initiates work alongside smith novices and believe that they are no different - i.e, although they have passed the requisite tests to become knights, they are not informed of this. The knight path is highly secretive and until the point of no return, when they are selected for apprenticeship, novices are kept in the dark about their potential futures.

The knight is the only one who gets to select apprentices and is often incredibly choosy. The novices are taken to be interviewed by the knight. If the knight rejects every novice during that recruitment cycle, the rejected novices can join another apprentice route, provided they passed the initial prerequisites at initiate stage. If not, they might be turfed off to go be cleaners or scribes or whatever. On becoming apprentices, the novices get their dialogue tattoos, and from then on are expected to live apart from the rest of the apprentices, in the knights' quarters. The secrets of their tattoos are heavily guarded and from this moment on, any dishonourable dropouts have to be executed to protect knight secrets from spreading even to other members of the church. Apprentices learn on the job, and as they grow older there's a hierarchy among them where the eldest is next in line to replace the knight, and so on. They typically ride in the throne room with the knight, depending on space available. most knights have about six apprentices. Because of this setup, someone as young as 12 might suddenly find themselves a knight in charge of a holy beast.

The requirements for knights are quite stringent. At the start of the story there is a recruitment crisis brewing where Leun is concerned, as Sir Heaven rejects every single novice presented to him and has no apprentices whatsoever, operating the throne room alone aside from a visual interpreter. Although Sir Heaven is visually impaired, that is not actually considered a disqualifier because knights fight blind anyway. injuries to the limbs that leave them permanently affected are disqualifying. Because any apprentice at this stage is considered to be chosen by god, they are given a merciful death. You need two working arms to operate a holy beast.

[ktyekmrf30]

You know the first thing that was on my mind when episode 10 ended. What really sells me on this story is that I see their future more clearly than my own lol.

Mhen and Min stay at parents' house in Chonburi. Min finds a stable job and settles down. Q moves in with Min, finds a small music studio to rent, occasionally goes to Bangkok for business and to visit his father. P'Suea regularly goes to Chonburi to check on Q and report to his father. Mhen and Khanomjeen study at the same uni and Mhen moves out of their house to a dorm to finally try to live an independent life and, although Min is incredibly worried and does not agree with that, Q and Mhen team up to persuade him. MinQ go on dates, have family picnics for three of them on weekends and be disgustingly in love. Q creates a project and Min renovates their house. Mhen helps Min propose to Q and helps Q proposes to Min and it's his little conspiracy to watch his brother and future brother-in-law propose to each other in the most sappiest and romantic way and cry in each other's arms from love. And of course he updates P'James about it in their group chat. MinQ have a small wedding where Q's father, Mhen and the two of them coexist with an awkward but happy family dynamic. Maybe they get a dog. Or two. They grow old together, not changing at all and still being in love after all years. And I see their happily ever after life in the way the characters act now and I have no doubt that it will be something like this. They have completely convinced me of their disgustingly sweet love, loyalty and devotion. And that's horrible because now I want what they have.

[chenouttachen]

i'm ending my episode 3 rewatch with some alanjeff feels (who's surprised). alan and jeff are set up as soulmates from the very beginning and this episode is such a perfect example of why they work.

there aren't any romantic feelings yet, not really. alan is perplexed and intrigued by jeff, and jeff has definitely seen some life changing visions, but romance hasn't entered the picture. it's here though that they begin to see each other as equals.

not once but twice in this episode alan is able to have open, honest conversations with jeff that he seems reluctant to have with anyone else. and this is, in part, due to jeff's work ethic and presence.

the first conversation takes place long after the garage is closed for the day - alan is working late because he's stressed about money and jeff is working late because he's, well, jeff. but jeff is able to tell immediately that alan is frazzled. having thought he's alone in the garage, alan has let his guard down, his emotions showing plain on his face and jeff is quick to pick up on this.

at first alan is embarrassed to be called out. he works very hard to present a calm and competent front to the rest of x-hunter and takes his role as leader very seriously. he's honest with his team, lets them know there's some trouble with red racing and sponsorships but he never lets them see how much it's truly weighing on him. and here's this kid who's been working at the garage for a week and can see right through him. it would be so easy for him to laugh it off or walk away, but he doesn't. and jeff, for his part, does shovel noodles into his mouth as if doing that can take the words back. he too could leave at any moment, but he stays.

instead, jeff chooses to speak to alan as an adult. in his short time at x-hunter he's already read the older man enough to know that he values his team's independence and freedom in the industry. alan is surprised by jeff's knowledge of sponsorship deals but doesn't shut him down or say he's got it covered. he listens to what jeff has to say and finds himself in agreement, affirming that jeff has read him correctly.

and then alan continues to let himself be vulnerable. he voices his anxiety that he isn't enough, that he alone can't keep x-hunter afloat. he wonders whether sending babe back to tony is the right thing to do, not because he thinks it would make them happy, but because it might ensure that babe has a stable family. and jeff takes a moment here. he could choose to agree and walk away, but instead he too lets himself be vulnerable, just for a moment. as an audience, we don't know what jeff has faced, but we (and alan) do know what babe has been through, and we know it's a terrible idea to send him back. when jeff tells alan that family isn't always the safest place to be, we sympathise with babe and his story, but jeff's words are heavy. his expression is carefully controlled but there's enough weight to his words that alan picks up on it. he wonders how this boy knows this, why he speaks from experience, how someone so young could speak with so much authority. but he doesn't question jeff, doesn't push. and jeff rewards him with clumsy but genuine comfort. he reasures alan that x-hunter are with him because they want to be, because they trust in alan and his care for them. as an outsider, jeff senses the warmth and connection of this team, this family, and although he doesn't yet see a place for himself there, he too trusts in alan. and alan is warmed by this, settled. there's something about jeff that makes him feel safe and seen.

and jeff continues to see alan at his most vulnerable. the next moment is after his conversation with dean, when guilt and regret are eating him up after shutting down the young racer.

once again, jeff cares. he senses the emotion rolling off of alan and checks to make sure he's... okay? but jeff has caught him in one of his less than stellar moments but alan is not initially prepared to be seen. he snaps at first, a defense mechanism and jeff is quick to look away. but he isn't scared of alan, and he doesn't leave. he just looks back at his work and lets alan come to him.

when alan does return to his side, no longer irate, but lost in thought, jeff continues their previous conversations about money. he doesn't question him about dean, doesn't focus on what's obviously a sore spot; he makes sure to centre on something with a clear solution. jeff doesn't beat around the bush. he's blunt and to the point, telling alan that he needs to use his brain and get his shit together. and once again, alan rolls with this. he's invested in the conversation, doesn't treat jeff like a child, and listens intently. he even lets himself get a little sulky, lets jeff see another side to him. when jeff offers him a plausible solution, a way forward, he does so by guiding alan gently. he doesn't tell him outright what to do, doesn't force alan into anything. but jeff knows how much alan cares about his team, about how much he wants to be the one to save them, and he lets alan reach the final conclusion himself. and when he does, alan is ecstatic, responding with physical affection that he cannot contain. we don't know what jeff sees when alan kisses his head, but by the way he leaves swiftly, it's safe to assume his vision hinted at their future relationship.

there's an inherent power imbalance built into their relationship: alan is far older than jeff and his boss, but both of these conversations set them up to be equals. jeff never treats alan as his boss; he's blunt with him, isn't afraid to tell him when he's wrong, and navigates the work space as he wants to. and, for the most part, alan doesn't treat jeff like a child. aside from the nicknames, alan speaks to him as he would anyone else. yes, alan is a natural caregiver and his instincts tell him to take care of jeff, but he never pushes that on him. even before their romance blossoms, alan finds that he can let himself be vulnerable with jeff and be comforted without feeling guilty. and, for the first time since charlie, jeff has someone that he can (slowly) be himself with.

they have a long way to go, but alan and jeff are building the foundations of their relationship with tentative but sturdy bricks.

[acethetically-bway]

i think we need to spend a minute, or several, talking about the al-anon questionnaire that fiona canonically got a “perfect score” on (TWs for alcoholism/self harm):

imagine little fiona realizing frank loves alcohol more than her and her siblings for the first time and carrying that with her all the way until season 9 when she takes this test 😭 also makes me think of her giving him the ultimatum as his liver is failing and realizing that if he is gonna stop (which he’s not, but regardless), he’s not gonna do it for her. it honestly hurts more to think of the fact that she took this test years AFTER giving him that ultimatum and making that realization, meaning that she *still* deep down, at almost 30 years old, thinks he’d stop if he really loved her.

i can also just picture her heart sinking when she sticks her little kid nose just a bit too close to frank and the strong smell of booze just radiates off of him and makes her nostrils burn. also holy shit #9 (and others on this list too tbh) has me thinking about the wifeification of fiona and how she has to be the one to placate frank and walk around eggshells with him, otherwise he’ll go off the rails and hurt her (or worse, her siblings). because they’re just kids and they’ll say shit without knowing any better, and by that point it’s too late. imagine fiona coaching the others on how to act when frank’s around, telling them exactly what to avoid saying so they don’t set him off and incur his drunken wrath. her letting frank steal their money because it’s better to just give him what he wants and get him out of their hair than to challenge him (until she and her brothers are physically strong enough to fight back.)

PLEASE AGH IF FRANK WASNT AN ALCOHOLIC FIONA WOULD’VE HAD A NORMAL CHILDHOOD WITH A PRESENT AND LOVING FATHER!! she wouldn’t have had to be a mom to her siblings, she wouldn’t have to worry about money constantly bc frank would be there to hold down a stable 9-5 job, she wouldn’t have such a fucked up view of love/men in general (“i can handle men trying to fuck me, i’ve been doing it since i was nine”), and she might not have gone to jail or become an alcoholic herself. she could’ve gone off to college on a track scholarship and made something of herself. and if she had just been better at controlling frank and been good enough for him to love and stay sober for at the age of NINE then none of this bullshit would’ve happened. oh this is my final straw istg.

there’s a story behind #18 i can FEEL IT oh god it makes me wonder if she ever actually made those types of threats *to* frank or if she just kinda intrusively fantasized about it. like “if he saw me bleeding out or sick or on the brink of death, would he still choose drinking over me?” and #19 genuinely i wanna know the details, like she obviously has anger issues but confused and depressed?? perhaps a shift from one to the other over time, like as a kid her predominant state was one of confusion and then as a teenager it turned to depression and it’s now just festering as this lingering resentment and bitterness because of the walls she’s built up and how she’s so stuck in her current life. she’s so independent but also so dependent on her siblings for a purpose and even on frank, because the course of her day/week/life depends on his behaviors (if he needs their money, if he’s exploiting the younger kids, if his actions/crimes put her or her family in danger).

[tumblingxelian]

I was reading a post by @casscainmainly earlier & my brain went on a tangent regarding the "who is Bruce's favorite" thing. & no this is not gonna be a wholesome "Bat-dad doesn't have favorites" post, this is a "Bruce is too messed up to have the kind of coherent beliefs, feelings and focus for that kind of behavior.

This is not a man with a stable & consistent mood, this is a man who argues with his cowl in the basement while he has company over.

Anyway, I will address this in order of appearances so:

Dick is the "Favorite" in the sense he is in Bruce's eyes a Bruce who managed to cope healthily with his trauma, grow up, move on and be happy as well as a hero.

On some days, this inspires Bruce, and is what makes him feel Dick is better than he could ever be. On other days, this is why Dick could never measure up to him, why he lacks the iron will, the drive, the focus, to be the best he could be.

Jason is or was the "Favorite" in the sense that he was the one Bruce went in on eyes wide open, that's his son, no complexity or ambiguity about it like with Dick or Alfred, they are family.

How well he did is up in the air, but he was trying, which is why Jason dying was basically his parents all over again but now its a parent losing a child not child losing parents. He can't handle it so he consigns Jason to a pre-made tragedy rooted in criminality.

Tim is the "Favorite" in the sense he is the one Bruce sees the most of Bruce in, IE, dark haired, blue eyed, rich boy of Gotham. He is Bruce without the tragedy, & someone Bruce has less preconceptions about.

This is also why Bruce started up mind games and trying to make Tim eventually be Batman but also at other points clearly didn't see Tim as suitable or fitting as well, again, moods.

Stephanie, she is not his kid and was never at risk of being the "Favorite" but she was taught by him. As usual, he projects, he projects Jason, her father, her background & class, her existence as a girl, IE, damsel, in his mind (Writers outfight confirmed this).

He's never once seen her, but there were a few moments that showed they could have had something cool, but it was not to be.

Cassandra is the "Favorite" in the sense that she is what Batman wishes he had. All the skills and training in the world to a superhuman degree, no civilian life, an 'innate' grasp of the morality he grapples with, and the same obsessive drive.

Note, I didn't say Bruce, I said Batman and also that projecting what you want on a person isn't the same as favoritism, nor is it healthy, nor is it even consistent.

Cos Bruce also hates sides of Cass that remind him of himself, IE, he willingness to do what she thinks is right over obediently listen, her self sacrificial tendencies. & he resents sides that aren't like him, the more reckless, less coldly detached parts of her, or her stepping away from his ideal path. In many ways he's jealous.

Damian is not the "Favorite", but he is symbolic of one of Bruce's longest lasting and most passionate love affairs. He is also, like Jason a symbolic representative of family, of what he could have but for the mission.

Damian is also his circumstances, his history, his bloodline, his grandfather, and no matter what he does, he can't escape these things in Bruce's eyes, we are all defined by our families he thinks.

Duke is not the "Favorite", though he does have the least complicated relationship with him due to the era of his arrival and his time becoming a vigilante before they even engaged much.

What's more, Duke was a independent vigilante before he was Bruce's student and well practiced in establishing his own boundaries & definitely has some of that "he matched my freak" energy.

IE, Bruce deciding to become a vigilante at all, Duke holding him before a train to spark his memory, they have zero chill.

So while there'd definitely some projection given his parents, and jealousy/paranoia/admiration with his natural talent and powers. Its a more overtly mentor-like relationship which lessens some of the baggage.

Emphasis on the word, some and no this doesn't make Duke the "Favorite", because if Bruce can't major project, pedestal or pre-judge someone he can't 'bond' with them to the same extent.

Note:

Again, its harder with Bruce, cos its comparing where he was and what he became over a mostly linear period and then reboots happened, amnesia happened, Bruce's persona got shifted, this makes things complicated dammit >< But I hope this was interesting!

[space-blue]

I'm so glad there are people discussing the politics of Arcane! It's something that bothered me too while watching. One thing I wish they had portrayed more fairly was Silco's time in power. I mean, we only get one montage of the more advanced industrialized Zaun with clean air stations, and only one mention of "Silco the Industrialist." Meanwhile his Shimmer business got episode upon episode of "look at how evil this is".

It even seems to be common for watchers to think he was ONLY doing Shimmer. So many people didn't pick up on the industrialization of Zaun, the cars and new machinery, nor the clean air stations. To the point that it's common to say he only destroyed Zaun and did nothing to improve it. I'm just like.... why did the show not put in more effort to portray both sides of the coin of Silco's operations, especially when his faction is the ONLY one specifically fighting for independence from their oppressors. Just seems like an odd choice.

I feel like Silco has more implied time in the way he talks to the chembarons. He makes it quite clear that HE brought them up here, and they're now corrupted by their time in the sun. And it's set in a gorgeous cultivair... So I think Silco making the Lanes wealthy is really undeniable. It's just that making crimelords wealthy is dodgy in itself, even if we assume that everyone got richer and better.

But honestly I want to say... People have a tendency of forgetting that Silco is a private individual. It's not his job to make people richer or to modernise the Undercity. It's not his responsibility to keep the streets clean or control crime.

That's the Council's.

The scene where Jayce looks in wonder/disgust at all the children in the shimmer factory always strikes me as a great moment for him. I've seen a lot of bad takes on it, making Silco EVIL for having kids working there and Jayce GOOD for feeling bad. Like, flashnews, Silco is providing them with stable income! Kids in his factories don't need to steal or prostitute themselves.

Wouldn't it be great though if they didn't have to work at all? No shit. Shall we ask the Council why there is ZERO social wellfare programs for such poor kids in Zaun?

Well, probably because when they don't work at Silco's, they work at Piltovan factories and mines for scraps. Because Piltovans don't have a normal relationship with Zaunites.

Silco is basically the head of a mafia, and he operates in a power vacuum left by Piltover. If the council took an active interest in the well being of Zaunites, if they weren't starved and beaten and killed point blank for wanting rights, there would be no need for Silco's dream, and no show.

I think even if the show made a greater effort to portray both sides, people would still vilify Silco, because "drugs" have such a demonic reputation. What bums me out more is that they made no effort to make separate chemicals, and ended up making shimmer into the philosopher's stone. WHY wouldn't you make shimmer??? It powers crazy cool engines, saves people from imminent death with no visible bad side effects, gives people a strength boost, and is a cool party drug?

Those are all things we're shown as well. It's so weird.

It really bums me out how Ekko talks about the horrors of shimmer, what it did to Zaun as it flooded the streets, and yet what we're shown is a camp of a dozen people, and a couple homeless people begging in the street when Heimer visits. As well as a violent fight.

Like... Yes? Zaun apparently has been the pits for generations. Is that truly the worst you have? A few addicts and 1 homeless beggar? As well as being "told" it affected families?

I totally get this is horrible, but we are shown a lot more screen time of shimmer being super OP when well used, and used for years without bad effects at that, via Sevika. It makes the criticism sort of moot, especially after one drop of shimmer saves Vi from a horrendous gut wound.

I highly doubt Silco invented poverty or addiction. The show makes it seem like those are his responsibility in equal measure because he commercializes shimmer (which is true) and because they need him as a villain. If shimmer is too good, then he'll become a straight up hero, instead of an anti-hero in villain clothing.

The show just wouldn't commit to have the third act fully go with 'the council are the villains, Silco is in the right', and I genuinely think it's because Riot is an American Company owned by a Chinese one, and that nobody up the foodchain really wants a story in which an underdog character is morally justified in exacting violence on the powerful.

It's my tinfoil hat theory. The hopeful tinfoil says that the writers did their best to give us that story but couldn't realise it fully. The dark tinfoil says that everyone involved is too far deep the neoliberal hellhole to escape centrist narratives (in which Ekko and his useless, powerless artsy rebels are the true heroes).

I'm happy to take the show as it is though, and fill in the blanks my way. I don't have to bend the canon's arm too much to tell a politically charged story that fits my desires!

[satoru-is-the-way]

Din Djarin x Reader

My Fandom Master List for Din Stories and more!

 A/N: SPOILERS FOR MANDALORIAN SEASON 3! I loved the first episodes so decided to make a little fanfic over Episode One!

Warnings: IMPLIED SMUT, MENTIONS OF SMUT, and angst

Summary: On Nevarro Greef Karga offers (Y/n) and Din a working position and a nice home to become a 'family'. However they both want different things.

"A Home"

Don't you know I'm no good for you?

I've learned to lose you, can't afford to

Tore my shirt to stop you bleedin'

But nothin' ever stops you leavin'

Quiet when I'm comin' home and I'm on my own

I could lie, say I like it like that..

"His name is Grogu." (Y/n) (L/n) and Din Djarin replied in sync.

"If you say so. Now come I want to show you something." High Magistrate Greef Karga waved their corrections and ventured back into his office. He walled around his desk and with one quick hand motion a hologram appears depicting a map of his town.

"There is a beautiful parcel right here down by the flats." Greef points to the sector which lights up correspondingly. (Y/n) eyes carefully evaluated the sector. A perfect home they could make. Nevarro's economy is accelerating beyond what (Y/n) would have imagined. Not only this but they are independent of the New Republic. This area would be for raising their child. It was obviously to Greef that (Y/n) liked the appeal of settling down. However before she could answer Din voiced his wants, as always.

"I appreciate the offer," Din shook his head ," But We have some matters to look after." At this Greef's eyebrows knit.

"I am confused...I thought you both completed your mission but here you are running around with the same little critter." He glanced towards Grogu. The child meanwhile enjoyed his new discovery, the office chair, using his force abilities to spin himself.

"It's more complicated. We completed our quest but a year later Grogu returned to us." Din sighed stopping the chair. Grogu made a noise of protest, "I removed my helmet and now I'm an apostate." He finished. (Y/n) glanced down at the map once more.

Their relationship had been complicated. She had accompanied Din and Grogu since day one. It had been the two, a clan of three, traveling the galaxy in search of a Jedi master. Over this period feelings are bound to form. Many assumed they were a couple and Grogu is their adopted son. That is not far from the truth. While both are quite aware of their feelings neither has yet made a move to become 'official' She remembered vividly the day he removed his helmet, the day they lost Grogu, and they day he finally took her in the bed. To feel him move inside of her. Their lips hunger, deprived and starved. That had been their first and only time in sexual intercourse. After that, it was simple hand-holding, cuddling, and he did not remove his helmet since. But they talked about a future, a family, so when Grogu returned on Tatooine (Y/n) figured this was the galaxy's way of telling her the time is now. Plus Greef is handing them an elegant home for free?!

"Which is all the more reason for you both to stay here. Where you are from, Din, you are an apostate. But here you would be landed gentry." Greef argued. "You two could be stable and this little guy can grow up here. Go to school and be a normal kid."

"It's worth a look." (Y/n) adds Din tilted his head in her direction. "We should go check out the place." If She could see Din's face he would look at (Y/n) in disbelief. How could she be saying this?! Out of all people, (Y/n) would be the only one to understand him. Din is extremely vocal about his want to atone for the crime of removing his helmet.

"No," Din replied voice low and unwavering. The bounty hunters both started at each other in silence unwilling to break. That is one thing Greef knew about them both, too damn stubborn. It felt like hours had passed since Din spoke.

"I-I didn't mean to cause a couples fight." He stutters out.

"We aren't a couple!" (Y/n) and Din both quickly answered. Grogu looked up from his chair with a hand full of red candies.

"I am going with Grogu to look at the parcel. Your beskar ass is more than happy to stay here." (Y/n) replies and shoulder checks Din before picking Grogu up. She turned to Greef who instantly gave her the directions mainly out of fear.

"I said no." Din orders quickly following her out.

"You don't own me!" She yelled on the verge of crying.

"I don't care!" He grabbed her arm pulling her back into his chest. "I want you to marry me. Belong to me and only me!" Din said into her ear. (Y/n) shivers at the idea of being married to Din, being (Y/n) Djarin, raising Grogu, and having his children.

"Then I want this! I need a home. I want a family. I need stability, Din!" She yelled.

"I will give you that but my creed matters!"

"Matters more than me?! More than Grogu?!" (Y/n) growled causing the child to whimper

"Don't bring him into this." Din warned her.

"Why not? You removed your helmet for him. As a sign of your love. Then you know what we did after." (Y/n) suggested in a way Grogu wouldn't know. "But after that nothing. I waited far too long for you finally to admit you want to be with me. I won't marry you. Din, I understand that you feel you have to do this because they took you in and saved you. Made you a Mandalorian. But I figured being with me, with Grogu, and starting a family would mean more. But I guess I was wrong." Din kept silent and slowly let's his grip go.

"I love you. Please don't do this." He begged.

"Do what?! As for a life? For a family! I want this for us Din! I love the Galaxy and traveling but I need a home."

"You and Grogu are my home." Din cups her cheek but (Y/n) pulls away.

"This , us, whatever this is. I'm done." She turned away letting the tears fall leaving him standing there defeated.

Don't you know too much already?

I'll only hurt you if you let me

Call me friend but keep me closer (call me back)

And I'll call you when *my missions* over

It has been a week since they argued. She did not see a trace of Din. Greef on the hand talked about how Din is a complete mess. The man has not left Nevarro's local pub until they kicked him out at the end of the night. (Y/n) tried to be happy living here but without Din to hold her at night...she could not sleep. How selfish was she!? Din loved her and wanted to get married...But their stubbornness got the better of them.

"He needs you." Greef sat down in the dining room chair. Currently, Grogu sat in the highchair as you feed him. "I never would have mentioned it...If I knew it would cause problems."

"No, you did nothing wrong. I felt this way...After Grogu left. Din and I want the same thing but in different ways." Grogu whimpers at his dad's name. "We traveled with Grogu all that time. It wasn't until we left that he finally admitted how he felt. Din removed his helmet and...he was an apostate. They took him in after losing his home. Din almost died but these Mandalorians saved him. He feels dedicated to them but I...I need stability now." (Y/n) frowns.

"I offered him a nice hotel. Din refused. He is located here." Greef gave her an address. "Din is in a cheap motel. Let me have the baby. He needs time with Uncle Greef." The man beems and Grogu squeals knowing he could get away with anything being with Greef.

"Fine. Mind your manners Grogu or else you will be in trouble." (Y/n) tone is motherly she crossed her arms giving the baby a look.

But nothin' is better sometimes

Once we've both said our goodbyes

Let's just let it go

Let me let you go

A knock came on the door and Din quickly opened the door. (Y/n) is caught off guard being met with a pair of soft brown eyes. "Please don't leave me." Din's unfiltered voice almost cause her to fall to her knees and beg his forgiveness. "Please I love you too much." He whispered pulling (Y/n) into a passion-filled kiss. The female melts and becomes putty in his strong arms. She pushed him back and quickly shuts the door. Din groaned feeling her body pressed against his.

"I won't leave you, Din." She responds.

"Let me...try and atone. If I can't then I'll come back here with you and Grogu. We will make a life." He whispered and (Y/n).

"Take me..." She begged. That is all Din needed to hear before making love to her all day long.