#something something. i dont know what im trying to say

[ghosty-clay]

That's not completely true? I mean, i get your points, but for a lot of autistic people it isn't like that.

I don't purposefully ignore 'bad rules', social hierarchy or authority, i just genuinely don't understand how to be respectful and how to adhere to it, no matter how much i want or try to.

I don't just decide not to politely laugh, I'm genuinely horrible at understanding jokes (especially if it's a sarcastic remark) and won't know when its appropriate to laugh and when it isn't.

I'm not just blunt because i don't wanna lie to you, i just genuinely often don't know what to say, or don't realize something would be considered rude in a situation. I try to say what people want me to, i really do, but no matter how much i try, i never really seem to be able to figure out WHAT they want.

I dont have meltdowns because you suck as a person, i have meltdowns because the lights are to bright, my clothes are uncomfortable, i can hear the fucking lights and the freezer and my own emotions are so overwhelming i cant handle them sometimes.

I don't mean this as hate or sth, and im not trying to start an argument, but i do think it's important to acknowledge that not everyone's symptoms are the same. Just because you are able to do certain things and choose not to, does not mean that's the case for every autistic person. Many people don't have that choice.

I do agree with the.. Main point ur trying to make ig? Because yeah, some people are fucking assholes and are not aware of it lmfao. Have a nice day :D

One of my favourite parts about autistic people is how you can use other peoples' reflections of them like an echolocation bullshit detector. Like they personally do not need to do shit for this to work, they just passively emit their own autistic vibe that bounces off every surface around them, and you can assess another person's level of self-awareness by how they reflect it back.

"Autistic people do not understand social hierarchy" nope, they understand you're supposed to be an authority here, but they won't politely pretend to respect you if they think you're incompetent.

"Autistic people do not understand humour" nope, they just don't politely pretend to laugh to humour you, and you are simply not funny.

"Autistic people are rude" nope, they just don't think it's polite to lie to you, and don't care about trying to tell you what they think you want to hear instead of telling you what they think.

"Autistic people sometimes have emotional meltdowns for absolutely no reason" nope, you're just insufferable to be around and the person with the lowest tolerance of your shit is simply the canary in the coal mine who breaks first.

[astronnova]

trying to figure out how i would wanna draw both of them inbtwn working on shtuff

ramblings under the cut

ok *cracks knuckles* excuse my design ramblings

vlad & danny are such interesting parallels to me esp if u wanna play more into the horror aspect of the show. vlad to me is the kind of horror vampires bring, they're attractive and alluring with large spiked gothic mansions as they suck you dry before you even register what happened.

danny is more like... small town radioactive horror? to me? does that make sense??? the horror of feeling, of knowing something is wrong with one of your classmates in your small, middle of bumfuck nowhere town. you know something is up, but he's still here walking around like always.

unfortunately my style is basically rip off anime LMFAO and i've never been good at communicating horror (falls to my knees and cries) but phantom could be so creepy and eerie. a seemingly teen boy in a hazmat suit, with a gas mask and/or goggles, wandering the streets at night, floating over streetlamps and making them and traffic lights buzz on and off. also electric core danny. he died to electrocution his ass is electric i do not Care what the show says, frost core danny can eat my ass🖕 (sorry to the frost danny likers. i do have an idea for the frost core thou)

my friend gave me the idea of making vlad snake-like too to match danny as a badger, snakes and badgers are natural enemies and all that. plus i didnt realize until after i drew it but vlad's hair and cape give him the silhouette around the head of a cobra! so i gave vlad cobra stripes on his ghost tail

i really like the idea of vlad kind of representing what danny could be. he represents the allure of power and letting go of your humanity i guess. he's petty, selfish, and has definitely murdered a couple people just because he felt like it. i know there are bones in the walls of his manor i just Know it. which i feel could be a fun way to rethink danny's first interaction with plasmius proper, maybe danny figures out who some wisconsin serial killer is with the added bonus of finding bones and rotting clothes in the walls of the basement because. ghost powers. and only another ghost could hide a body that way. ya feel me? its cool. kinda just rambling atp

i played around with giving danny a full face gas mask but i didnt like them too much. the goggles im on the fence about, i wanted them to be the same round goofy goggles maddie and jack wear but it takes away from the potential creep factor i feel... or maybe i just dont know how to draw it creepy (yet). he doesn't need the gas mask as a ghost but it would help hide his face i think. thats one thing, im watching eps with some friends who arent really into the show like i am and they keep asking how tf does no one know its danny and i just have to gently put my hand on their shoulder and tell them its cartoon logic. but for this! i feel like danny's face would be harder to see, like he's usually engaged in combat and when he's not he still has that gas mask and goggles combo, and its not like his hair looks the same like it does in canon.

ok crazy people ramblings OVER

[sheyfu]

pairing: itoshi sae x gn!reader

synopsis: sae turns into a child boohoo (ik impossible but why not idk)

cw: none except my dookie writing skills HAHAHAHHAA IM RUSTY AND IM JS MUCH BETTER W WRITING CHAT AUS’!/&;@/& tbh it kinda lost its plot in the middle but wtv; not proofread HAHAHAAH; swearing

notes: this thought occurred in the midst of me fighting against nature and its worst call (TMI IM SO SORRY); will fix format later cuh i did this on my phone HAHAHAHA; ITS FLUFFY I PROMISE

wc: 781 (LONGER THAN EXPECTED WHAT)

you love itoshi sae. you really really do.

you love him to the point where youre willing to fight anyone and anything just for him even, if it would cost you something.

you wonder how youve come to love him; was it because of his “nonchalant demeanor” that had ticked every time bomb you had in you, or was it his athleticism—yes, i know, boring—that quite literally fixed you in more ways than one? orrr was it actually his cleanliness and (n)-step skin-care routine that would probably do the opposite of what it actually does with how uncooperative your skin is?

youre actually not sure.

but what youre sure about right now, at this time and day, the itoshi sae you fell in love with was definitely not present.

“saeeee” you call out to your husband from the kitchen.

silence.

“saeeeee” calling out much louder, youre met with even more silence that quote on quote, ticked every time bomb you had in you.

weird.

“underlashes?” entering the dining room with your already-running-thin-patience, youre met with a sight to definitely behold.

��what do you want?” your husband—question mark x2–now reduced to a child perfectly mirroring his own features grumbles out from his seat at the table—a half-eaten slice of blueberry cheesecake slathered all over his mouth and some even getting onto his shirt.

what the fuck actually???

“ummmm” you question aloud as confusion paints itself on your face—your eyebrows visibly furrowing as you try to process what’s currently going on.

“you—“

“dont say anything. i dont wanna hear anything.” another grumble—albeit high pitched—comes from the seated man (the boy? child? manchild?) with his signature scowl planted on his face.

you watch with curious eyes as the manchild (youll call him that for now) reaches up for the fork on the “high-ass table counter thingy” (his words, not yours) attempting to feed himself.

heading off to the kitchen to grab your phone (for blackmail), you hear a sudden clank and a scoff from mr. manchild.

turning your head once more to face him, youre once again met with a sight youd definitely want to keep in your book of memories forever.

there, right in front of you, was the itoshi sae, mr. idgafer, the prodigal son™, the man of many names, and the love you call your life, staring down at the fork with the meanest mog and scowliest (is that even a word) face the world has ever seen.

thats right. the itoshi sae that was present right now, at this time and day, was not only the itoshi sae you fell in love with, but also the itoshi sae youd want to spoil, protect, and care for with your whole life.

“sae…” you try to stop yourself from laughing. you really do.

but in that moment, all hell seems to break lose, and that hell was your own laughing hell.

“pfft— hahahaha!” as you laugh your ass off, you miss the subtle shift in the red head’s expression.

your itoshi sae may not have been currently present, but you definitely there; the person he fell madly and deeply in love with. you and your bright smile that could light up all the emo shit inside him, your laughs that seemed to make everything much better, and your—

oh right. his blueberry cake.

ignoring your laughs, the little boy proceeds to hop off the high chair to retrieve the fallen fork.

hes almost tempted to leave you to your laughing trip, but hes too tired to clean up himself. so he does what every child would do; call a trusted adult.

and that trusted adult nearest to him was you, who so happened to be his spouse.

shaking his head, underlashes jr. starts telling you off and bossing you around like the chill guy he is.

“oi stop laughing and help me with this mess.” he slurs out, unable to resist the grin on his face.

“bu- but.. its your- your mess!” taking a deep breath, you wipe away the tears that had appeared on your eyes. “that was a nice laugh! right, underlashes jr?” grinning from ear to ear, you ruffle his hair, receiving multiple complaints and “punches” to your arms.

“yeah yeah whatever. now get off me and help me!” the mini guy successfully swats your hands off his hair, a faint blush blooming on the apples of his cheeks.

“alright, alright! right away, mister mini!” letting out a couple chuckles, you drag the little guy with you to the site of the (his) mess. “im not letting you off the hook though, little guy. you have to clean with me. ‘kay?”

“tch. whatever.”

he wouldnt have it any way though.

[strngegirl]

hii i really loved ur gojo: overtime drabble, can i req something similar with gojo but instead of us giving him a handjob he gives us one😞😞 idk if u write for male readers but if you do please do so!!

hellooo!! im happy you liked that post :DD nd i dont usually write for male readers but i would! so here it isss (⁠ ⁠≧⁠Д⁠≦⁠) i hope it's satisfying enough </3 this is kinda rushed ,,,

cw: gojo x very tired m!reader, very aggressive handjob (reader receiving), cum eating (gojo), both are ordinary office workers, unestablished relationship, reader kinda hates gojo, not proofread

It's currently 9 PM and you still haven't gone home yet. You would if you could, but that's the thing; you couldn't.

Your boss dumped a whole stack of work onto your desk last minute, said something about having no one else to do this for, then proceeded to leave without sparing you a second glance. The cruelty of this goddamn country and its corporate workplace rules has you daydreaming about blowing the whole place up. Alas, you couldn't. There'd be more consequences doing that, so you decided to simply do your job like a good, loyal mutt. If you even want to call yourself that.

What's even worse is that, you're alone within the same vicinity as Gojo Satoru.

It's not like he's the boss that dumped all his work onto you, he's just another worker in this god forsaken office whom the boss hates—but you hate him even more. Born rich and yet he chose to work here, everyone likes his magnetic personality, he always wears designer, and he's fucking hot. It's infuriating how he has it all and yet he's here in the marketing department of a shitty company that's teetering on the edge of bankruptcy. What does he even gain from this? "Experienced being a peasant" on his resume?

He's currently in the cubicle right across from you, and you're not even sure why he's here. He's been humming trending songs that kept playing in stores for the past few hours and giggling at something you don't really wanna know. Can't he see you're literally suffering working overtime?!

You narrow your eyes at the scintillating screen, the only source of light in the dark office alongside the table lamp you turned on three hours ago. Gojo laughs at something and you clench your teeth, trying to will yourself to not react to his disruptions because you just want to get these over with and go straight home and sleep. It was going so well until he started to talk to himself, then the already thinning string of restraint snapped.

"That happened? No way. Crazy-"

"Can you shut the fuck up?" You growl, a hand running down your face as the other grip your mouse so hard your knuckles are whitening.

There was a moment of silence where both of you say nothing, and honestly you're starting to relax a little at the upcoming tranquility that you thought would arrive, but as quickly as it had came, it went.

You see Gojo's white hair slowly appearing at the top of your vision, and you lift your head to look at him. He's currently looking over your cubicle with an impassive expression, those azure eyes staring right down at you beneath his shades like he's judging you for something you didn't do.

"You talking to me?" He asks.

"Is there anybody else in here that's been yapping all fucking night?" You deadpan. Something about what you've said must've been funny, because he starts smiling. God, that's straight up aggravating.

He lifts his arms up to support himself as he leans onto the partition, making it creak under the weight of his pressure. The old thing's gonna break. You hope it doesn't. If he crashes down and crushes your computer, you swear you're losing it.

"You're so mean tonight, man. Can't you go back to throwing me nasty glares instead? I like those better." He pouts mockingly at you, which grates on your nerves even further. Your work is forgotten as you currently just want to snap at him.

"Why are you even here? Seriously. You don't even need to work overtime, no one is forcing you to do their work you can just go back to your fucking penthouse and sleep like I've been wanting to for the last few hours. I'm tired, hungry and I seriously can't stand wearing this goddamn suit for another minute. All I want is some peace and quiet and yet, you're there, doing god knows what and breaking the only good thing I have right now." Your voice rises at every syllable that leaves your lips, and once you finish you take a deep inhale, feeling your body heat up from unleashing your frustration. You look back up at him and all you see is a raise of an eyebrow.

Gojo brushes a strand of hair away from his eyes then slowly starts to bob his head, unfolding his arms and clapping them onto your partition.

"Ooookay. Well, I'm here for you, actually." It's your turn to raise an eyebrow at that. "Don't. Not yet. Let me explain."

He disappears back into his own cubicle for a second, before you hear the pitter-patter of his footsteps approaching your cubicle. He stops at the entrance and leans against it, both hands simultaneously tucked into his pockets.

"I wanted to talk to you."

You blink.

"And we couldn't have talked in the morning or afternoon?"

He smiles a little. "Mmh, no. It's... Personal, and I'd rather we don't have any interruptions."

Now you're kinda curious. Pushing your one-sided hatred for him aside, you turn your chair to fully face him as you inquire him with a questioning stare.

"Anyways," he pulls his hands out and clasps them with a clap. "I know you hate me. And it's probably because of my dazzling appearance and charming antics that have half the office swooning over me"—you roll your eyes at that—"but! I don't want you to hate me."

You scoff at that. Does he just want everyone to love him? Is that it? So there'd be more people at his beck and call?

"I don't want to turn into one of your fans, Gojo." You rub your eyes.

"That's not my goal! Swear." Suddenly, he walks over and places both hands onto the handles of your chair and effectively caging you in, the abrupt proximity prompting you to lean back so fast your head spins for a second. His face is mere inches away from yours, as if silently threatening to kiss you.

The intimate way he's looking at you right now is making you feel a cacophony of things you're not sure what to name. You're sure annoyance is in there somewhere, but also mixed with other things you seriously don't want to acknowledge. No, it's mostly surprise.

"What the fuck are you-"

"I like you more than I should, you know." He murmurs, brushing the tip of his nose against yours. "No one else in the office looks at me the way you do. It's fascinating."

Surprise washes over you when he gets closer, the warmth of his breath fanning over your lips. It has to be the lethargy you're feeling right now, because why does kissing him seem so tempting?

Your lips suddenly feel dry, and the moment you dart your tongue out to wet it, you inadvertently lick his lips. He took that as a sign to crash his lips into yours. It was all bumping teeth, tongue biting and sloppy kisses, one that overwhelms your clouded mind. He puts more of his weight on you, causing the chair you're sitting on to roll back before it inevitably bumps into the partition, causing it to tremble slightly. That doesn't deter him from continuing to ravish your mouth.

You don't understand why you're not stopping him. In reality, you should be hating this. Hating him. But somehow, you're actually liking it. The realization sends shivers down your spine.

You hardly register what's happening, and next thing you know, you feel a sudden breeze brush past your tip. You yelp in surprise as your lips break off of his, causing him to promptly stop as well. Your eyes dart down to find he's already pulled your half-erect cock out of your pants, his hand wrapping a fist around your base. You snap your gaze back to his flushed face, a hint of eagerness in those eyes you used to despise but now desire to drink you in.

"Don't wanna?" He breathes, already loosening his grip on your cock. You instantly reach down to keep his grip there, manually making him re-tighten his grip. There's a newfound spark in his eyes, and the speed in which he suddenly starts stroking your cock gives you an immediate whiplash.

His lips meet yours again, the same hunger and fervor mixed with a heightened passion combined with the unrelenting pace in which he jerks you off, you swear your head is about to burst. The chair underneath you creaks so loudly you think it's about to crumble, but you hardly care when he's pleasuring you so fucking well.

Breathy moans escape from your mouth as Gojo drinks it all up, capturing them into his own mouth as he whimpers himself. He's fisting your cock like he wants to tear it off and you feel like it really is gonna fall off if you're not careful enough.

The air in the otherwise empty office has become heated, the serenity broken by both of your moans and the aggressive creak of your chair. You feel your cock twitch at the impending orgasm, and he definitely feels it as well because he starts chuckling into your heated make out session.

"Feels soooooo good, doesn't it?" He purrs, almost teasingly but there's no denying the underlying desire in his tone. You nod fervently as you start to thrash in your chair, and Gojo brings his other hand up to pin you down by the shoulder to ensure you can't get anywhere.

With a sudden cry, you jerk up repeatedly into his fist as hot cum spurt out of your tip, getting everywhere on his suit and hand. He doesn't really care though, because this might be the hottest thing he's seen all week. Gojo slows down his stroking before eventually stopping, just holding it firmly before his thumb moves to gently rub your sensitive head, smearing the cum over it. That action overstimulates you and you start whimpering, eyes rolling back at the slight pain it brings you.

"Such a mess." He murmurs, gazing almost lovingly at you. Slowly, he releases your cock as you let out a gasp, acting like you just ran a whole marathon. He brings the very same hand up to his lips as he starts to lick it clean, his tongue caressing through every crevice, trying to make sure he tastes every single last drop. You watch in a daze, watching the man you were despising toward not even three hours ago now licking your sperm off of his hand. He's the reason you even came.

God.

Gojo sucked on his index finger, making direct eye contact with you. He then releases it with a salacious 'pop!', bringing his head down again and kisses you. You taste the slight tang of your own release on his tongue and fuck, you think your dick is rising again.

"Do you still hate me?" He breathes into your mouth. You'd glare if you can, but you seriously can't bring yourself to. Your body is spent as hell.

Reluctantly, you shake your head and he smiles widely. Gojo Satoru got what he wanted, once again.

"Finally." He kisses you again. "Come home with me. Fuck your work, I'll talk to the boss for you tomorrow. I wanna fuck you."

You shouldn't. Damn, this goes against everything you believe in.

"I have a memory foam mattress. Silky blankets. And also really, really soft pillows."

...he sure knows how to tempt you. Fucking Gojo.

With a defeated sigh, you gently rub your cheek, hoping the red would go away.

"Okay."

[urstruly-ghst]

pika pika? in this franchise? - idia shroud

in which idia tests out a new game, but once you crash into his dorm, he's playing a game from your world?

authors note: requests are still closed, but this anon requested something that made me think i can try to do smau! also i mostly know pokemon emerald,,, so we're going w this route.

(ignore my emojis, i am using my laptop to make them fake texts </3)

cw: swearing, might be ooc (im still trying to get used to idia!), established relationship)

idia shroud

once you arrived at his room, you were humming and giving idia a quick hug and kiss, a tradition you both developed over the course of being a couple.

however, when idia booted up the game, he excitedly chattered about the game's premise. at first when he described it sounded familiar. you grabbed some chips from his stash, as he puts it, and sat back down only to nearly do a flip.

"POKEMON?" you yell in surprise and joy seeing the nostalgic game, seems like he got the emerald version too. idia looked surprised and handed you the controls.

"bruhh. oookayyy so now you know this? not much of a normie now" idia giggled while showing off his sharp teeth. you kiss him again and told him one important fact: this was a game in your world.

the gaming session was in, since pokemon was something you had played on your little gameboy back then, you breezed past the tutorials and stats. however, since idia didn't need to teach you, he was pouty. he wanted to play and be the cool boyfriend, teaching you the games and seeing you fail for the first few times.

"how about, speedrun?" you suggest laughing as you got to your first gym. idia sparked up at the idea. oh hell yeah. he is going to beat you at your own game.

"you're on, normie" idia said deviously as he boots up his own system and restarting his progress to match your game.

he won. by a second. your time was 2hrs and 30, his was 2hrs and 29. your eyes strain and you groan at the fact you both finished what's supposed to be a relaxing game. what drained you the most were the gyms and cave, not to mention, idia decided he wanted to catch at least 2 legendaries. you glared at him as you noticed he was catching rayquaza with ease, when you were struggling to find kyogre.

idia laughed, flexing and showing off his signature grin, he flaunted and shrugged at his abilities. he sighed and shakes his head while raising both his arms to shrug. "what can i say? noobs dont stand a chance," you pout because not only you lost, but you couldn't even catch a legendary in time.

but amidst your pouty demeanor and strained eyes, idia's gloating just made you feel happy. because, even if he gloats and even downright drags your gaming skills. he's doing his best to comfort your loss. he's turning off the harsh lights, minimizing the sound of his machines, wrapping his blanket on you.

"geez. we've only been playing for 2 hours and you're acting as if you gamed for a week. pssh noob and weak? keep up." he says that while tucking you in and grabbing some water. you smile and kiss his fingers, as a sign of appreciation

"you're the best, idia." and idia softened up as he sat next to you holding your hand.

"nah, if anything, you are. thanks... normie, or should i say, my dear." he cringed at his attempt to be smooth, but he flashed a sincere smile before leaning to just kiss you.

[civetside]

hiiii i have a question for people who like web comics, WHERE do you go to read web comics generally? like i know there's like webtoon or whatever and of course i plan on making mine a lil tumblr blog but other then those im out of the loop and idk if there's any platform that would be better then those or anythin, i would appreciate y'alls thoughts

[transmasculinizing]

it frustrates me how some of the most iconic versions of batman are still by people who dont really care about the character and just like his aesthetic. snyder and nolan wanna empathize how cool and badass he is and thats fine but they try to make their movies way deeper than such surface level portrayals of batman should be. they like that hes dark and brooding but they dont go in depth on why hes like that. or they try to and fail. its not just about his parents dying its that he never healed from it. he didnt have the support system he needed to process his grief in a healthy way and was raised by an emotionally repressed ex military man who wouldnt let himself cross the line of employee and family. he learned not to show emotion outside anger. batmans stoicism isnt because hes badass, its a trauma response. the nolan movies treat batman not killing like its a moral superiority thing when thats not it at all. its what batman might occasionally tell himself it is but in reality its because if he starts he knows he wont be able to stop. he also has flaw of believing its like that for everyone but thats a whole other discussion. anyways not killing is in fact a mental block and its emotional because hes mentally ill. oh but we couldnt explore that because that would imply the guy were using for our toxic masculinity power fantasy is weak because he cant mentally handle something. its like.we want to hurt batman but we dont want him to feel anything about it other than maybe anger to show how tough and hypermasculine he is. this also correlates in why the live action batman movies dont want robin. they dont want batman to be a dad because thats not cool i guess. if you cant think of your batman comforting a crying child you didnt write batman though. i swear this obsession with not acknowledging that just because batman is bad at showing his emotions besides anger doesnt mean he doesnt have them has bled into the comics to. batman was literally a good dad to jason pre crisis but can you imagine nolans batman being a good dad? i cant personally. hes a man child. so now comics batman was shitty to jason when he was robin in order for batman to feel despair he needs to first feel love. his parents werent the only thing he loved. he loves his city, his friends, justice and doing whats right, his 2 major love interest and he absolutely loves his family im not saying all batman media needs to be a deep deconstruction of his psyche but if youre gonna focus on batman being 2 kool for emotions being badass rather than a result of his trauma dont pretend your movie is deeper than it actaually is

[sucodelaranja86]

Wait whoops I js reread the rules n it said no gender specific IM SORRY LMAO😭

I dooo have another request for u tho since u said u wanna write!!

Could we get a Cho Hyun-Ju (yes another cuz I love her) x reader where we realize we have feelings for her n rant to it about to one of the players (maybe the old lady who gives us advice n teases) n dont notice that shes nearby, basically hearing everything we say until we notice n freeze up n then move away in embarassment which leads to us avoiding her cuz were nervous n dont wanna be seen vulnerable?

- gotcha!! : ★

featuring: hyun-ju cho x reader.

summary: you have a massive crush on your friend and don't know what to do, so you seek help. And who is a better help at giving advice than the elders? However, a certain someone also heard your little talk.

warnings: none.

genre: fluff.

A/N: YOUNG-MI LIVES YAAAY

★ . ★ . ★ . ★

➤ "Please, you guys need to help me!"

Jang could only watch your absolutely flustered face while Young-mi cutely laughed by her side. Your request was unusual, and she was sure that if she somehow was starting to understand the youngsters, all of that effort was going through the drain right now.

"Di-did she say something a-about me?"

Young-mi only busted out laughing once more as Yonsik held his own. Jang could only hold an annoyed expression, while the other two were clearly having the time of their lives.

"How are we supposed to know, you buffoon! She is your close friend, not ours!" Jang said, her patience running thin.

"Don't be so mean!!" you protested with a huge pout on your deep red face.

After a good pause for them to laugh at your attempts of asking them about Hyun-ju, Young-mi finally managed to catch her breath. You have never seen the small girl laugh so much in her entire life (not that you knew her for a long period of time anyways).

"Maybe you should try talking to her personally, Unnie." she adviced you. Even if she still found the newfound situation incredibly funny, she still hoped the best for you and Hyun-ju. Both of you were good people who helped her when she needed the most, and she couldn't be more grateful. She really looked up to you two, and sometimes you felt like you couldn't disappoint her.

"Well, maybe i could give it a try. I wouldn't want to risk the friendship we already have. But, by the way, where is she?" you asked, confused on why she still wasn't by their usual spot already.

"She said she was going to the bathroom, maybe you should go after her! Ha!" Yonsik said in a teasing manner, but the idea didn't seem so bad to you. You hesitantly get up, ignoring Yonsik's teasing and giving Young-mi a slight pet, and only after heading to the bathroom.

However, as you crossed a certain turn in the mess of beds, you stumbled across no one other than Hyun-ju herself.

"Hyun-ju...?"

She was beaming red. Her usual composed manner fading slightly when she saw you. You could quickly tell she had heard every word that came out of your mouth.

" -i need to go."

"No, please, stay."

Both of you were trembling. In her case, it was anxiety. But in yours, you have never felt so embarrassed in your entire life.

Was she about to reject you? To end your friendship? To say that you were gross to even think about her in such ways, and-

"Can we talk?" she asked after recomposing herself, albeit not completely.

"We don't need to. I understand and accept it. I'm so sorry for even thinking about our friendship in that way, i..." for a long moment, you were at a loss for words. What were you thinking for even-

"I feel the same way. I have felt, for a long while."

. . .

Now that's what you weren't expecting.

"Could you- Hyun-ju, could you please repeat what you just said? I don't think I've heard you well."

"I love you."

-

"These 2 are taking too long in the bathroom! Do you think they-" he was quickly smacked by his mother before he could even begin to mutter another word.

"Let then be."

★ . ★ . ★ . ★

[siwolism]

hey real quick since we wanna pull the "if you dont know about it shut the fuck up" card but also take potshots at native americans "planting bombs," I have a few questions for you. No google!

How many treaties has the US made with indigenous nations? How many of those treaties are unbroken?

What % of native americans live in poverty? How does this compare to the white average? How about other US minorities?

How many indigenous american soldiers served in the korean war?

How many federally recognized indigenous tribes are there in the USA?

When were indigenous americans allowed to leave the reservation without petitioning the US government for permission?

What is NAGPRA? Why does it exist?

How many native american children died thanks to the residential school system?

How many indigenous languages are currently spoken in the USA? Now how about including the dead ones? Can you name 5?

How many bison lived in the USA prior to westward expansion? How many are left now?

What was the population of indigenous americans in the current US prior to european contact? What is it now?

Since I sincerely doubt you can answer any of these, let alone all of them, pick three or four and make your best guesses.

off the top of my head. also like less then 35% of koreans use google lol. not really a big thing here

3. 10,000. don’t know why you included this obviously i know the stats on the korean war. there were 42,000 in the viet war lol

1. i know it’s somewhere in the ballpark of 350-380, but i can’t remember the exact number. i thinkkkk the wikipedia page says 500 (600?) but im not sure how trust worthy wikipedia is compared to other sources in this case. if i ever came across a conclusive answer to how many treaties broken i don’t remember it, but i usually just assume most if not all.

2. ive seen differing numbers between native americans in general and those who live on reservations and i might get this mixed up but im pretty sure it’s 30% poverty rait for those living on reservations and 24% for native usamericans in general. i don’t know the white average but the national average is 15%

4. 578 i think?

5. if there is an exact date id love to know. from my own education i thought it was both a state and federal thing and i assumed the dates in which restrictions were lifted depended on different states. but actually even as i’m writing that out that sounds wrong lol. i do know that by 1956 there was the indian relocation act so it had to have been before then

6. its an acronym. federal act, something to do with graves i remember seeing people talking about it a while ago. i think it has something to do with museums who had stolen native american bones and other cultural objects being given money by the government if they returned them.

7. okay so ive seen a lot of people say a thousand (in the us) and im pretty sure that’s the number that came out of an offical report but i really don’t think that’s correct because the number of native american children killed in canadian residential schools is upward of 4,000 and some researches say it could be as many as 30,000 so i think that 1k number has to be bullshit.

8. it’s around 180 today, i think it was 300 originally. ill try my best but like lowkey i probably couldn’t tell you 10 languages in china if you gave me 10 hours i suffer from an extreme inability to remember small details like names and dates. but i will try: yupik, haida, cherokee (<- the one with the cool script), dakota and lakota

9. sorry i don’t know numbers but im pretty sure the stats are like. over 95%, ive seen some places say 98% it’s fucking horrific

10. i don’t think anyone knows the number. no one was taking census, ive seen people say 10 million ive seen people say 114 million but im pretty sure that’s talking about the entire continents of the americas not just who lived in current day usa. the modern day population is between 3-9 million depending on how you define a native usamerican.

i think you guys underestimate just how much knowledge about usamerica us non usamericans just absorb via being on majority usamerican websites. and when i was younger trying to learn more about indigenous struggles around the world i spent a lot of time on indigenous discord servers which were all a fucking hellhole (shout out to all survivors of the freely indigenous server i think we all deserve finical compensation) but i still had to educate myself on native american topics in the us and canada because the majority of the time that’s what was under discussion and i didn’t want to come off as ignorant. also the person im dating is originally from canada and has family in usamerica, she’s a communist and ive learnt a lot about, especially canadian, indigenous history from her. but even without those last two things just being on any side of vaguely leftist tumblr or tiktok you encounter a lot of discussion around native american issues. id say most non usamerican communists on here have done some level of research on indigenous history and current day reality in the americas and even if they hadn’t it’s pretty easy to absorb the basics via osmosis.

[ender-cloud]

NEW UPDATE!!! God I love Lanyon so much im so hyped to dive into this

Tgs spoilers under cut

Something ive noticed with many characters in TGS is their persistence to keep everyone to have this view of them. Jekyll, of course, wants to be seen as the perfect, put together, leader of the society, while Hyde wants to be seen as someone who doesn’t really care about stuff, someone who’s tough and carefree.

In this case Lanyon seems to be closer to Hyde than Jekyll on this front. He wants to keep his “i dont care about anything” appearance, it shows how he presents himself in studies as well as playing the guys in his university. Even now Lanyon sometimes acts as if he doesn’t care about Jekyll or his issues but in reality, Lanyon cares a lot for very certain things.

By trying to act as though he doesn’t care makes it so he cares more, and Jekyll is reasonably confused by this.

I like how Jekyll more approaches Lanyon being confused and just wanting to understand why than a more judgmental approach. Jekyll just doesn’t understand, I dont think he’s Judging Lanyon as much as he just wants to know why.

He has a different goal to prove himself to people so he wants to know why Lanyon can prove himself but chooses not to.

To bring back what i said last week; Lanyon is smart, he knows things, but he acts like he doesn’t as a way of defying his father. But now that im looking at it, it’s s once again an example of reputation and how trying to keep it up can hold you back on many fronts.

Lanyon was quick to change the subject, he doesn’t want Jekyll, or anyone around them, to figure out the truth but the seeds had already been planted in Jekylls mind and now he’s connecting some dots he hasn’t thought of before.

“The second you put your mind to anything, you take to it like a duck in water” Lanyon puts his mind to a lot of things but I think he truly only gets into them if he actually wants to.

For example; when he was trying to not Care about jekyll during the society fair thing (i need to reread so bad I just dont have the time) he wasnt able to, it was like he was trying to force himself not to care like his university days but whenever he saw Jekyll he had to remind himself over and over again to push that care down.

Lanyon might’ve not needed to force himself to care as much during university but it might’ve taken a bit to get to this point of being able to do it easily. But if its something he truly cares about he has a hard time pretending that he doesn’t or is very determined to keep it like his reputation.

Ngl, if I was Lanyon and someone looked at me like that I would break in a second.

Lanyon can tell that Jekyll is close to figuring him out and its both scary in this moment aswell as surprised. No one has been able to put this together, no one else has seemed to care this much before or has gotten so close to him to see multiple signs

Lanyon is stronger than me and did not break but I would’ve been in shambles.

Lanyon Always says that he doesn’t care when Jekyll catches him? I think that shows how much he does care if he has to constantly remind that he doesn’t means that he must show that he does at some points, and it also indicates that Jekyll asked more in the future, just because of Lanyon saying he said it whenever he was caught of guard.

I genuinely love Lanyon so much, there’s so much to his character and its so interesting to me, he definitely is up as one of my favorite characters of all time. He just as so much depth to him, how much he doesn’t care yet does care, I like characters with a lot of depth more than just what you can see on the surface.

Whenever we get to see his thoughts it can give us more explanation and more of an understanding than what Jekyll had seen.

I want to know why Lanyon brought this up, the only thing I can think of is trying to lure Jekyll out but it’s still interesting,

[truthinquotations]

While i absolutely love malevolent and everything about it from its insane concept to the fact that everything is done by one fucking guy i cant help but laugh at the fact that theres no difference between supernatural and malevolent in terms of queerbating 😭😭 i think I’m cursed to like homoerotic media made by straight men who wont ever commit to the bit they created

I’m not saying that i want them to be together like explicitly or whatever its just that i know that theres no reason to add certain things in the plot other than to create this kind of ambiguous state. And i know its not just me cos my bestie who got me into malevolent and recently watched all supernatural says the same thing😭😭 So now we’re just making jokes about how stereotypically “bury ur gays” or “make them go their separate ways” the ending will be lmao in true fashion of the best queerbait media

Top 3 are: 1) they get separated and go their separate ways cos John wants to “find himself” 2) they get separated and john goes to find lily (and don’t get me started on lily that whole thing is fucking HILARIOUS to me) 3) one of them dies and the other is forever in mourning

Again i love malevolent but the last seasons really r trying it in this department 😭😭😭

Edit. Lmao i know its a controversial take so not surprised at the comments. First of all i cant be “wrong” about a feeling I have its just how i FEEL about the show in the later seasons. You can say you disagree but to say that im wrong about my feelings just doesnt work lol im not here to defend a thesis. Secondly i know for a fact it’s not just me and my bestie feeling this way since yk this post also has ppl who agree with me🤷. If you get what I’m talking about you immediately understood my point, if you don’t, u don’t, its ok, I’m not advocating to change the podcast lmao

Pls stop with the whole “a lot of people see it as a aromantic relationship they dont have to be a couple friends tell ily to each other often” respectfully IN MY OPINION they have passed that line of friendship a long time ago. You can interpret it however you want same as I can interpret it however I want. But as a person who has a couple fandoms where i love the friendships and platonic relationships of characters i have never genuinely paid attention to to the amount of ily characters say bcos yk it would be a regular amount😭😭 Same as it never struck me weird if some characters been jealous in a friendship bcos it was clear that it was a friendship pure and simple. Which js why iI dont feel like jarthur is written as friends even if they never get together (which i dont even want lol i dont see how it would fit into plot atp). Honestly just how many times yall tell your friends that you love them or be ready to kill their other friends 💀💀

Some moments in malevolent feels eerily similar to supernatural and tw and if you get it you get. Two that come to mind is how in spn they had dean have sex with a female angel when everyone obvs been shipping him with cas. And how teen wolf brought dereks little sister that was practically his copy in every way on screen and alluded to stiles having a crush on her 😭. I get similar vibes when john brings lily out of fucking nowhere as his “light” (Or purpose or tether to humanity smth like that i forget the exact wording). I died laughing when hearing that like im sorry i get what he’s saying you don’t have to explain it to me but he brings her up so abruptly and i was just sitting there mentally asking myself “what do you know about her??? Who IS lily???” Like we’re suddenly meant to think lily is a bigger influence during those 2 months on johns humanity then arthur is😭😭 i mean come on even arthur was like ???

i wouldn’t be as surprised if they showed us some interaction like lily reading to arthur or smth like us hearing her voice or idk her last fucking name at least😭😭 something that would make it clear why he’s bringing up that character from fuck knows when other then its the only female character that can be considerably linked to john as his “light” in this scenario.

You can view their relationship however you want if you dont see it perfect then its not meant for you. I however genuinely cant view this as just friendship, the whole being jealous to the point of wanting to kill someone who seems as devoted to your partner as you are, refusing to be parted even when opportunity WAS presented and so on. If you can thats great, media is not meant to be interpreted in one way I can say its not friendly and you can say its your fav aromantic duo 🤷

I dont even think Harlan is doing it on purpose we just have very different definitions of what platonic means lmao. However the increase of these moments in the last seasons felt kind of purposeful to me lol which was what brought this on. And pls dont tell me its cos they got closer in the latter seasons arthur killed himself in s1 they’ve been close😭😭😭

I just don’t think that a person who hasn’t heard that harlan wont make them a couple, hasn’t heard a bit of discourse, listened to the podcast and certain moments of “ily” or their separation anxiety yada yada yada and would never think they have romantic feelings for each other or that its not where its headed.

Also if I feel like i experienced this exact same thing with media before and it was called queerbait and universally acknowledged as such I’m not gonna reinvent in my head definition of friendship and platonic love to fit what was previously labelled as queerbait there, Im gonna call it queerbait. Especially since it feels like every other media that was labelled as such before. Im not advocating to change the podcast or cancel it or whatever im expressing an opinion i have on my blog that i know other ppl even if not a lot agree with.

I stand with my cancelled take 💀💀💀

[wassupmygays]

im always thinking about sodapop "he feels everything so much" curtis

listening to jason schmidt talk about how soda feels is just. so perfect to me.

"i used to tell ponyboy about sandy in la jolla, but the lines got cut on broadway and i think that makes so much sense, because i dont think he *knows* how to talk about it. if he tries to talk about, he just loses it, so he has to try and deflect and move on to something else to talk about"

thats a bit paraphrased from this interview and i just think about it all the time. and you can see that character work on jason's face in that scene. when pony asks about sandy, you see soda's face drop. and you see him process and think about what hes gonna say next. you see him decide that its not worth it to try and talk about right now, its not worth it to start crying over something thats already done and gone. its not worth it to start bawling in front of his brother that he needs to stay strong for. so, he just tells ponyboy that he's tired, because he is, and he tries to go to bed so he doesnt have to think about it anymore.

and then the same thing happens when they talk about their parents. the train whistle sounds and each brother reacts to it like it sends ice through their bodies. soda tucks his head into his pillow, like hes trying to hide away. he listens to pony talk about his dream, he listens to pony try and process his own emotions about this. part of me wonders if soda wishes he could talk about it like pony does. he watches him sooo sadly. and then when pony asks about his own dreams, soda opts to make a little joke, to lighten the mood. to divert the atmosphere away from all the despair they've been feeling. because, again, if he really truly talked about any dreams of his parents he might have? he'd cry for days. the emotions would come out of him like a wave he couldnt ever stop

and (in the boot's ive seen) jason plays this so well. its such subtle character work but it adds so much to everything he does as soda.

[izurelia]

MIDNIGHT RAIN

p a r t 1

wc: 937

warnings: fluff, a little bit of angst

•••

it was the first day of summer, school had ended about three hours ago, and all you had done was sit on the doc in your backyard. as you let the wind blow through your long blonde hair, you took in the true beauty of the outerbanks. but your thoughts were interrupted by a call.

you picked up your phone and read the caller id: rafe 🤍. you quickly clicked the green button on your phone.

"hey, what's up?"

"are you coming with us?"

"coming where, exactly?" you laughed as you swayed your feet on the edge of the doc.

"to the boneyard, obviously. dont tell me you forgot, we've been talking about this all day!" there's a faint hum in the back ground of music and a running car.

"also me and kelce are already here, we're gonna pick top up on the way back."

"seriously rafe! i'm not ready im on the doc right now." you say as you quickly stand up, walking back to your house.

"well hurry up princess, we don't have all night." and with that he hung up, causing you to let out a groan as you walked back to your house.

•••

after about 15 minutes you were dressed and ready, wearing a short jean skirt and a red lacey tube top paired with birkenstocks. you quickly made your way over to the car and opened the passenger door, throwing your purse onto the car floor.

"the fuck are you wearing?" rafe turns to you, giving you a disgusted look.

"whats wrong with it? it's cute." you say, furrowing your eyebrows. rafe's mouth slightly drops, looking at you as if you were the most stupid person on earth.

"whats wrong with it? it looks like your wearing a fucken' napkin!" he slightly yells. "you're not goin' out like that." he turns the car off, waiting for you to get out and change.

you scoff and stare at him in disbelief. "i'm not changing rafe, it's already seven! can we please just go!"

"y'know what- fine. but your wearin' this." he takes his jacket from the backseat and shoves it into your chest. you reluctantly take the jacket, rolling your eyes at him and turn to face out the window.

rafe sighs, feeling sorry for yelling. "i'm sorry. i didn't mean to yell, okay? you want aux?" he holds the cord up for you even though you weren't facing him.

"no."

he furrows his eyebrows, confused. "come on, baby. you always want aux." he places his hand on your bare thigh. you turn to face him, seeing the sorry look on his face and giving in. 

you try to compress the smile creeping through your lips, but it's almost impossible. "fine." you give in, reaching for the cord and plugging it into your phone.

"knew you couldn't stay mad at me for too long." he smirks, kissing your cheek as you choose a song.

•••

during the party you distanced yourself from rafe, mostly hanging out with sarah and some of your shared friends.

the group of girls talking about boyfriends, crushes, ect. you mostly stayed quiet though. you had never had a boyfriend. yes, you had kissed people and you weren't a virgin. but the boys never stayed around long enough. you didn't know why. you always thought it was something you did.

"so scarlett, you and rafe together?" your friend lucy asked with a smirk on her face as she raised her eyebrows up and down, eliciting a few laughs from the group. "no, no. we're just friends." you smiled sweetly at her, though she didn't seem to believe you.

"you sure? cause the way he looks at you... god i would die for a man to look at me that way." she sighs turning to look at rafe who was engaged in a conversation with topper and kelce.

"yeah, im sure."

•••

after a few more hours the party started to die down, you met with rafe so that he could drive you home. "hey." he greeted you, wrapping and arm around your shoulder. you smiled up at him, relaxing under his touch.

"why don't you spend the night at mine? it pretty late and i don't want to wake up your mom." he suggested, already knowing what your answer was.

"yeah, i'm fine with that." it was normal for you to spend the night at tanney hill, whether you were with sarah or rafe, you were constantly there.

when you arrived at the house you made your way up to rafe's room, throwing yourself onto his king size bed. you immediately melted into his navy sheets, his cologne embracing you. he threw an old t-shirt at you, telling you to get changed.

you made your way into his bathroom, changing then taking off your mascara. you went back into his room and climbed into bed next to him, snuggling into his embrace.

your head rested on his soft-but-hard chest and your legs became tangled with his. he loved this. these moments where it was just you and him. he may not be able to have you as his girlfriend, but he got to have you as his bestfriend. and he dreamed of the day you gave in, letting him have you as truly his.

you quickly drifted into sleep as rafe placed a kiss on the top of your head and snapped a quick photo, one that he'll probably post later. mostly to remind all the boys on the island who you really belonged to.

~

a/n: i did not proof read one bit!! next chapter coming soon...!

[stilljuststardust]

hii i would need some advice.

after finding out about manifesting it became tricky for me to care about the 3D, not only in the good way but also the bad. like - I dont do stuff because i tell myself that I have it anyways you know. im still taking the Basic care of myself but i stopped studying and doing anything, I kinda just bedrot because "i already have it all" why would i do anything. I dont know how to battle that and logically tell myself to do something.

thank you

Why manifestation doesn't mean nothing matters:

I went through the same thing and the truth was that I cared very much about the 3D I just was depressed and deeply nihilistic.

I want to address the beliefs you've stated about manifestation but I think you should focus on the underlying mental health issue. This has all the traits of a depressive episode and should be treated as such. I am addressing the manifestation aspect because clearly it has been fueling your episode and I hope that this will help change your perspective even a little.

"the 3D doesn't matter" is a really common phrase. When I first heard it I wasn't familiar with loa and it was instead something a friend kept repeating. It scared the shit out of me.

The phrase is meant to convey that circumstances zre never able to prevent your manifestation and that you get to determine what you want in your reality regardless of whether or not it has physically manifested yet.

What it accidentally ended up becoming was "nothing is real nothing matters" which if you have any kind of mental health issue is a deeply triggering phrase.

The 3D isn't worthless it just isn't a factor in whether or not you can manifest something. The 3D is real. The 3D is something that matters because it matters to you.

The 4D isn't some mystical far off land, it's literally just your thoughts, visualizations, and internal experiences, and I doubt that those are all in alignment with your goals right now. When I was depressed my inner monologue was less "my life is so great" and more "why aren't I doing more" so that feeling piled up on itself and bled into my 3D until I wasn't doing anything.

The 3D is malleable and you can manifest anything within it yes but why should that mean you can't care about it? If you're manifesting it's probably because you care about your life and want it to improve.

To be clear I don't believe that nothing matters but even if it didn't why should that mean we give up on the things that make us happy? Nothing matters so do whatever the fuck you want. This doesn't make you happy so why should you do it if suffering is also meaningless?

The underlying mental health issue:

Disclaimer: I'm not a professional anything I say about depression is from personal experience. Please seek professional guidance.

This has all of the common signs of a depressive episode. It seems to me that you have a serious underlying mental health struggle and you've been using "nothing matters" as a way to justify staying in it.

I would like to start with: there is nothing wrong with you and this is not your fault.

There definitely was a time I thought the same way because I was scared to try to get better. Starting recovery can be scary because often there is a backwards comfort in leaning into it because you're no longer putting pressure on yourself to "do better".

"Nothing matters so why should I try" isn't loa, it's nihilism, and a very common mantra for those suffering with depression. You're not alone in thinking it.

If you want my advice as someone who's been there:

Obviously no advice I give you is going to cure you but I can give you tools that helped me.

Meet yourself where you're at. Don't try to go from bed rotting today to climbing a mountain tomorrow. It's like how you can't jump from the first level to the boss fight of the video game. You don't need to have all of it under control your goal should start one step above where you're at. So instead of a whole list of things you need to catch up with just start with showering or your hygiene. Keep that as your only goal until it's become a normal part of your life again and implement new goals in a similar way.

Every video I ever watched on self improvement overwhelmed me with everything I wasn't doing. The weight of my expectations for myself was the heaviest part of my episodes. Eventually I committed to the idea that I had only one responsibility and it was showering, anything else is just a bonus. Be kind to yourself. If all you change is the way you talk to yourself about it you will feel better. It's easy to fall into cycles of beating yourself up for everything you wish you were doing but that isn't benefitting you in any way. Give yourself some compassion.

Links

Against nihilism - john green

How to handle the 3D when manifesting

Mental health subliminal

[calxvace]

Holidays with venti

You'd expect venti to want a big celebration for the holiday season. As the life of the party, venti could be seen in every corner of the event entertaining familiar friends and even guests from afar.

"windblume...?"

Venti's subtle shake on your shoulder caught yout attention, snapping you out of it.

"did i miss the right timing? ha.. ha.."

He could be seen embarassingly scratching his neck,

"no, of course not... I was just taken aback you know you're-"

cutting you off he sat beside you leaning his head to your shoulders,

"yeah, yeah, life of the party, star of the night, blah, blah. Although I could just decorate the house full of mistletoes, we'd eventually end up-"

"Gosh archons! are you in heat? you fox!"

playfully throwing a pillow towards his face, "Aw! w-windblume wait! aha.. hahaha! not there im sensitive!"

playful fights like this always turns into tickle fights with the both of you collapsed and out of breath, but-

"get ready for the worst tickle monster you will encounter! I know your weakness!"

Getting a warning like that, although playful, hightens your caution, ready to evade any possible attacks, you stare intently trying to figure out where he'll first poke,

"here...? maybe herrree? no, here? gotcha! no escaping my dear captive"

with enticing eyes, he dips down to give you a gentle kiss,

"Ven-"

"shhh, no one's around, can I?"

who could resist this? you can see him wanting more, lips quivering, breath noticingly shaking, this man is starved. You admit you have been neglecting him these past few days, who's not busy on holidays? Though you were together, affection is often put aside.

"I almost forgot how honey could not even compare on how sweet your lips taste my love"

going in for more, venti took his time and savored all your sweetness. With his lips busy dancing with yours in cloud nine, his hands swayed with the rhythm caressing the spots only he knows how to stimulate. As intricate as his literatures, he carefully conduct steps and pressure which now almost becoming a paradigm.

a paradigm of which made you yearn for him stronger.

As his shower of love comes to an end, you were reminded of how the things have ended out like this

"Ven, were you serious with what you said?"

"Windblume, you know me. I dont spew nonsense"

"really... i wonder what our friends will say if they find out we're not hosting the celebrations..."

facing towards you, he genuinely asks as he gently caress your cheek,

"I want to know what you were going to say, the only important remark is from you, so what do you think?"

pausing for a moment, you nod and said yes,

"Its settled then, baby number 1 here we come!"

____

now that you two are going bare, he's been training for something rich & creamy 👀 stamina yeah stamina

[drdemonprince]

ok so i can send you the fanfic story if u want but now it feels like everyone is making fun of me and im getting called parasocial and ur saying stuff i dont understand i was just trying to have some fun

and yes I have a crush on u and lots of us do but this feels sad now like it’s started something else that I didn’t even want to start or to be out there. indont understand the oppression and objectification and stuff if i did that then im sorry. i feel bad but also can send you the story i wrote if u dont make fun of me.

im sorry if i made you feel gross. sucks being a gay autistic boy in this city sometimes.

Oh honey, this whole dustup is ultimately not at all about you. I don't know you and I haven't read the fic, and neither has almost anyone else contributing to this conversation. We're talking about parasociality, hero worship, objectification of "famous" people, real person fic, and a number of other issues largely in the abstract, and from our own highly emotionally charged positions on the matter. None of this is about you, how could it be, until getting this message none of us were even sure that the rumored fic was real or not.

It's hard being an Autistic man whom so many people have so many feelings about. That's all I'm fucking saying. If hearing a few people speculating about you (all while knowing nothing about you) feels this frustrating you can imagine how it might feel at an even larger scale.

I don't have any problem with you writing the fic or sharing the fic wherever you personally want to. As one creative to another, I know that following your artistic calling is a messy passionate business. I've written Grimes fanfic for fuck's sake. I get how it goes. Not appreciating people's reactions to the work is definitely a part of the artist's burden that is most difficult to navigate in this day and age, but it's not a reason to stop creating or a sign that making what you want to make is wrong. I'm mad at the broader cultural phenomenon of pedastalizing even remotely notable people not the act of making weird art, I do that too.