#something something dysphoria
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Me: man i need to catch up on my crossposting to other sites, let's post my pmd h/p pairs in order
Me immediately: .... i gotta rewrite nuri's deal
#its not vibing with me as much now sorry.i love her not being a great person and being partly responsible for the meteor in the first place#and having to become a better person like gengar had to. but i also wanna tone it down#i was talking abt this with eve but its mostly bc i feel like too many of my heroes don't cope with being a pokemon well#rin is the only one who feels euphoric at the transformation#everyone else is afraid or insecure. and thats mostly bc i love playing with body horror and getting a new body without consent#something something dysphoria#but i dont want that to be the case for most of my heroes. and i feel like the one story i should look into changing is nuri's#because like pmd1 hero canonically loves their pokemon body judging by that one scene near the beginning#but as of rn the ones who love it are just rin and skylar. and kinda kit but its a different case really bc its a reincarnation#i think kit feels some dissonance between their human instincts and pokemon body but ultimately prefers being a pokemon though#they just feel guilty or out of place. the weirdness of the situation is more of the issue for them#also tbh i think nuri's a little toooo much of an asshole in her story. like i still want her to have a redemption of sorts#but i might move most of her traits towards finn in starfall and give her a new thing#i just dunno what for now....#echoed voice
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there is a person standing 73 yards some distance away, watching you. they look like they’re trying to tell you something. you can’t get away from them, nor can you get close to them. they’re just...standing there.
so your friends and loved ones try to help you by talking to them, and the person must be saying something to them, because they look at you differently now. but you have no idea what it was, all you hear is static.
you try to tell them not to listen to the person, but no matter what you do, no matter how much you plead with them, they look up at you with suspicion-hatred-fear and just run. they don’t care where they’re going, just that you’re not there. and you can’t do anything to stop it.
the more that the people in your life care about you, the worse it is, because anyone who tries to help is turned against you. so you are just gradually shut out of your own life by the people you love the most, until eventually you no longer recognize your surroundings.
there is a person standing 73 yards some distance away, watching you.
#doctor who#doctor who spoilers#ruby sunday#carla sunday#73 yards#idk what this is#I just had to get something out when I saw the part with ruby’s mother running away from her with that cold look in her eyes#and that fucking phone call godddd#me: “hm I wonder why this episode about people turning against you and running away for an unknown reason is hitting me so hard”#like oh yeah it’s the rejection sensitive dysphoria. this is literally my worst fear#anyway BACK TO THE EPISODE#my writing#?? I guess#mine#my art#100#500#1000
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Hey uh. Am I misinterpreting something or have you been implying that the entire changeling situation sucks for more reasons than “bad things happen if the changeling gets caught”. Like am I misinterpreting something or are you saying it’s directly terrible, at least the process, for the godkid???
Fifth Consequence of becoming a Fairy: Alterations of the Soul.
The child's body undergoes Physical Changes to become a fairy, but they also undergo a metaphysical change as well. The soul must be adjusted, shaped, broken and remade. These changes allows the child to accept magic into their body, and handle any disruptions in time or perception.
Their soul is transformed into their proper Fairy's Crown, and the child would have officially become a True Pixie! Yippiiiie!!
Thankfully, this part of the process is painless! Or, well, more like Timmy fell unconscious during it. Though Timmy says he sometimes feels strange moments of loss. Like an essential part of himself has been ripped away from where it should be.
Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]
#fairly oddparents#fop#fop a new wish#fop timmy turner#fop timmy#timmy turner#<- ask to tag#asks#itty bitties fop au#haha timmy feels soul dysphoria#hes never felt uncomfortable being in a fairy's body. but his soul??#oughhh. its difffferent. its weiiird. thats now how it should feel like. it should be in his chest or something. not detached from him!#having it as a hat sorta makes it better. at least he can feel it on his head and not just. floating around above him.#if you guys have watched madoka magica this is a bit like that.#haha#fun fact my name is pronounced 2 different ways#its either pronounced exactly like kyubey or as cubby#as in like. “cube-bay” or “cub-bee”#i love shooting characters with da Trans Experience Beam
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been closeted in my new job and i am discovering very violently how different being a gnc woman is to being transgender, mentally
#transgender#my art#like... being pushed back into 'shes gnc because she cant/doesnt prioritize being feminine' instead of 'they're gnc bc they want to be'#its this weird. stripping of intention#where my appearance is#a side effect? something that just happened to me? instead of something i'm allowed to feel pride in?#HAPPY PRIDE MONTH! IM BUSY REDISCOVERING DYSPHORIA
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The Killer species dysphoria is making me think a lot about the "your soul is becoming more like mine" line
Yeah! Gets even more interesting if you go with the idea how some characters in Undertale eventually start not seeing Frisk as human.
Saying things along the lines of, “Hahaha... you're not really human, are you? No... you're empty inside, just like me. In fact, you're Chara, right?”
“My brother would really like to see a human. So it would really help me out... if you kept pretending to be one.”
“The way you shamble about from place to place...”
“Human... no, WHATEVER you are. For the sake of everyone's hopes and dreams... I, UNDYNE, will STRIKE YOU DOWN!”
“What kind of monster are you? Sorry, I cannot tell.”
I’d imagine Killer heard many things similar to these things during his and Chara’s Genocides, although more along the lines of no longer being a monster and not being Sans. And perhaps this is something Chara reinforced.
And considering how Stage 2 was said to exist in the state that it does precisely because Sans is fighting back against Determination, that makes it neither human nor monster. Stage 4 was described as “Chara wins, feels nothing.”
And during the Stage 4 comic, the Chara in Killer’s head commented that Stage 4 was “getting worse.”
Perhaps Stage 4 is exactly what Chara meant when they said Sans’ soul was becoming like theirs—something not monster anymore, not human either, the way they are no longer human.
The way they’re apparently the demon that comes when you call its name. However, Sans’ soul was fighting back—creating Stage 2; who certainly is like Something New Chara in terms of mindset, behavior, and a bit of personality (also said to be similar to Flowey as well.) Rahafwabas did describe Killer’s soul as a war between two souls— a monster soul, and a Determination soul.
I’d imagine this really does fuck with Killer a lot; especially when his body doesn’t match up with his identity, and his self perception. Could very easily lead to a lot of species dysphoria. A lot of, “What am I?”
{ @justanidiotartist }
#howlsasks#justanidiotartist#cw species dysphoria#species dysphoria#utmv#sans au#sans aus#killer sans#killer!sans#killertale#undertale au#utmv headcanons#utmv hc#killertale sans#undertale something new#undertalesomethingnew#something new sans#something new au#bad sanses#bad sans gang#nightmares gang#nightmare’s gang#killer and chara#chara dreemurr#something new chara#killertale chara#killer chara#killer!chara#something new!chara#chara au
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The absolute biggest thing I've learned as a trans guy: there is nothing more masculine and manly than not caring about looking or acting masculine or manly. Growing your masculinity or manhood takes time and care - you have no obligation to let the world water your garden when you can do that just fine (and you can, even if it doesn't feel like you can!)
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#nonbinary#trans advice#got a stereotypically 'feminine/woman' piercing and. i feel like a man *inverted shania twain riff from man! i feel like a woman*#nothing affirms my manhood more than not caring about the genuinely toxic imaginings that the world has about manhood and men like me 👍#yes it can be a struggle ESPECIALLY if you're somebody who actively has to defend your masculinity/manhood...#...it's hard for me too sometimes. i had to not only build my manhood but jealously defend it from the 'phobes...#...but i am all the better for it because this is MINE. i have never truly owned something in this way...#...i don't own other people nor my cats nor even my material possessions - not in the way i own my manhood...#...i own it like a tiger owns his territory and i defend it similarly...#...i do not WANT to own my loved ones or possessions the same as i own my manhood and masculinity. this is special to me#my manhood was *made* for me to be owned anyway. i feel that applies to every trans person who hasn't felt able to own themselves#this is in the same vein as learning to cast aside the cissexist views of bodies&experiences that can make dysphoria worae
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Percy being clueless about the quest vs percy immediately clocking Annabeth's weird behavior is so so adhd of him like that rejection sensitivity is setting alarms off in your head huh. Same.
#That rsd hits you like a bullet to the head lmao#He's like HEY SOMETHINGS OFF WITH YOU#percy jackson#percy jackson and the olympians#percy jackon and the olympians#annabeth chase#leah sava jeffries#walker scobell#Adhd#neurodiversity#neurodivergent#rejection sensitive dysphoria#rejection sensitivity#pjo series#pjo tv show#pjo disney+
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i like to think goth is a gender in of itself
#goth#gothgoth#gothic#gender#gothgender#i usually just go by nonbinary but gothgender resonates quite a bit tbh#and there is something to be said about the overlap between the trans community and the goth community#and especially with how goth often rejects typical gender norms#idk there's definitely an essay to be written here but im not good at articulating my thoughts#but i dont really get dysphoria from looking more feminine or masculine the way i do if i feel like i look too preppy#and being able to be goth feels like its improved my mental health#idk tho im just someone on the internet throwing words at a wall
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everlasting trio redesign
check out my commissions
#danny phantom#everlasting trio#danny fenton#sam manson#tucker foley#hi im tired af but i made myself draw SOMETHING#particularly bc i've been wanting to draw this for about a month???#i had a much easier time doing this with the three of them at the same time than doing it one by one#might do more later but dont hold me up to that im busy af lmao#anyway im proud of these#sam with her space buns and rose design on the shirt#danny with the space themed embroidery done by sam on his dysphoria hoodie#and i had to do research on how to do tucker's hair but i like what's supposed to be under the beanie but also the ankh necklace#also i decided the only reason tucker's beanie is red is as a reference to danny#so are sam's space buns#and the colors on danny's embroidery are references to sam (purple moon) and tucker (stars) and phantom (planet)#i was also thinking the guys are also wearing piercings by sam's influence#and i was originally going to give sam a different more distressed skirt but i also wanted her and tucker to have matching patterns
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It’s been said I know but sometimes I get so angry that so much is socially tied to gender like why does it matter what someone’s gender is why do you change all your assumptions about someone based on their gender why do things have to be masculine coded or feminine coded why can’t we all just live
#maybe it’s just the agender in me but I fantasise about a world we’re someone’s gender is as noteworthy as their shoe size#and not something that lays a (often unconscious) framework for how you think of and interact with people#agender#transgender#this is NOT saying that trans gender dysphoria and euphoria isn’t valid btw#begging that there are no poor faith interpretations
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i misplaced my dick :(
#girl where are you#(my packer)#i hate when i do that bc i worry either it is a) out somewhere embarassing where ppl can see it or b) its gonna accidently go through the#wash or c) its on the floor under something which means it is so dusty. ew#ive been packing a lot less lately bc my bottom#dysphoria has. lifted a bit lately but i still like to have it available in case im struggling one day
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I just realised I completely forgot to show my finished Arthur cosplay so here!!
You can find the process of me making the hat here! Everything including the hat and the materials was purchased second hand and using things I already had (the rope, jeans, journal, neckerchief, etc) so it's a very budget cosplay but I think it turned out well! The total came to about £45, there's receipts here if you're interested <3
#I did the drawings in the journal throughout the day at comic con and it was really fun!!#don't mind mr barrowman being in there I went to meet him too he was very lovely#the total for everything would be less if it wasn't for shipping costs <\3#but I fucking love that the riding boots have horseshoes at the bottom!!#the spurs make such a satisfying sound when I walk with them on#*insert that one post about spurs helping cowboy dysphoria here*#and yes that is a banana in my gun holster#the venue had a no imitation gun policy so I improvised#it was really funny#but yeah I had lots of compliments!!!#so I did something right!#mick squeaks#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#arthur morgan#red dead redemption community#arthur morgan cosplay#cosplay#<3#sometimes I feel like a crazy person when I recommend people buying second hand stuff#but I really do recommended it!!#it saves money and helps people in the long run#vinted and ebay and thrift shops are a lifesaver#love you all <3
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Calling my dead name my "stage name", because even though I've retired from that role, I still occasionally have to use it and put on an Oscar-worthy performance.
#the audience is asking questions#my agent has suggested i tell them to shove it#dysphoria#i hear it these days and it doesn't even register as my name#i have to consciously listen out for it around the three people that use it#they know something is going on
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The start of the Loop segment of the Siffrin & friends twitter QNA, and the message that flipped Loop's answers from silly to dodgy and blatantly upset.
Loopchat from speaking to Loop 20+ times.
Certified Loop dysphoria post
#isat loop#isat spoilers#i was gonna make a whole semisilly post abt how i think the public perception of loop as 'cunty' is kind of funny#(has bought into it before)#but to be honest it just made me start thinking more abt how loop perceives themself.#loop telling siffrin not to die too early so they have more time to go :( at siffrin's drawing. or well i guess it'd be :#man.#it does....interest me#siffrin seems to not be particularly dysphoric in like a gender sense. expresses interest in body craft but thinks#(You dont mind inhabiting this meat prison for the time being.) as well so#but by becoming a star loop kind of. simultaneously loses the freedom to Change the way they want to. no guarantee bodycraft works on stars#and loses the comfort of inhabiting their own body#congrats on the new body loop! sorry about the dysphoria#for as much as it's fun to poke at loop for being very obvious once you Know#it does. resonate something with me i guess that of all things this is one of the few things that loop isn't very good at deflecting about.#(in the sense of cutting the conversation short before it becomes capital o Obvious they are upset anyways)#i'm aware they were already transgender before becoming a star. but very transgender of you loop#oh! i guess i can say on the topic of cunty loop#it's kind of funny. like im not immune to drawing Cute Loops or making them silly and dramatic and flirty#and i think the thread of Drama they show on top of their not-typically-masculine (ig???) demeanor and flirting with siffrin#makes the perception of them as like. there has to be a better word than cunty but. cunty. somewhat understandable#once more the loop has deceived you. i mean i do think the drama is a little bit real they are a hashtag theater kid#but they have deceived you. you have fallen into their spiderweb of believing they are anything other than the world's most miserable beast#with your help we can crowdfund enough silver coins to buy loop a dysphoria hoodie. if we hit our stretch goal it can have a print on it
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'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.
I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.
About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'
-Casey Plett, Consciousness
#this quote always moves me almost to tears when i remember it#i'm not a trans woman and i don't share the author's specific experiences with transition#but it really moves me that she frame transition as joyfully giving yourself permission to approach your body#not as something that has to be disciplined and deprived and made small in all these various ways#but as a means for experiencing pleasure and joy and delight and for insisting that our feelings and desires are worth#valuing and exploring and treasuring#i always used to think of prioritizing those things for myself as selfish and irresponsible#but who does it harm to want to experience pleasure in your own body?#it's such a beautifully simple and powerful switch to have flip in your head#and equally why are we forced to deny our own pleasure in transition and anything else related to our bodies in the name of moral rectitude#this is why i get so confused and pissed off when other trans people are fatphobic for example#like why are you so invested in politics of shame and disgust that never had any purpose other than#violently disciplining people as if they've violated moral codes by existing in a body#to say nothing of white people being racist in gay and trans communities#like again this system of violence is foundational to homophobia and transphobia#so why are you acting like it has nothing to do with you#even if you are unmoved by the urgency of other people's suffering which btw you should be moved by#what do you hope to gain by acting a collaborator and handmaiden to those systems#Casey Plett#she really is one of my favorite authors i wish more non-canadians read her#this quote is from a series of columns she did ont transition and every single one is a banger#i love when she talks about the people-pleasing elements of dysphoria and transition denial#she's so sharp about noting how many of us deny our own dysphoria on the grounds that others like and validate our bodies#that's how i always felt during my cis conventionally feminine era#it pleased other people so much and also that reception felt so hollow and joyless to me because i hated it#i get less of that positive feedback but that feels so unimportant next to the joy and pleasure i get to experience#said with the understanding that i'm very privileged in being able to prioritize those things without fear. but it was a switch flip#personal nonsense
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as someone whose never seen Cats live I feel like I totally miss out on the experience of macavity (& the macavity doubles) appearing in the audience-- I always forget that's a thing that happens bc 98 is Bad at establishing where newly introduced figures are standing & most boots dont show whats going on in the audience, you just hear macavity laughing during the scares. But I feel like there's really Something to looking to the side while watching the kitty cat musical and finding a 6 ft+ grown ass man dressed up like a cat just chilling in the aisle like 4 seats away from you
#something about the costumes gives me such like. idk size dysphoria about the actors.#thats a kitty person. what do you mean thats an extremely ripped six foot tall grown ass man#cats fan on main
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