#something something different aspects of this relationship terrifies them both

[tommykinard]

#terrified boyfriends

[lisa-cuddys]

"Wild Blue Yonder" is such a phenomenal episode and it instantly became one of the best DW episodes for a simple reason that it combines all the best aspects of Doctor Who AND it is a combination of genres AND it is entirely character driven and atmospheric.

This episode is everything - comedy, drama, horror, mystery, psychological thriller and sci-fi adventure.

It relies entirely on atmospherics and character dynamic.

They really put two brilliant actors and let them shine and give everything they got in so many different genres.

There were silly comedic moments

Heart-wrenching dramatic moments

Terrifying and bone-chilling moments

But the true testament to the acting talent of David Tennant and Catherine Tate was that the episode had only 2 actors in it and 4 characters. But it truly felt like there were 4 different people in the episode. And the task was not easy. These were Doctor and Donna but not quite Doctor and Donna. Like Donna said "The Devil's in the details". It was all in the voice, the stare, the posture, the mannerisms that made these creatures of nightmares so terrifying, because they had the essence of the Doctor and Donna but had it so horribly distorted and twisted and not right at the same time!

And the fact that David and Catherine delivered such a nuanced performance that captured these details so flawlessly deserves all the awards!

The episode is driven by themes and motifs - fear of being known, fear of the unknown and unexplained, fear of being misunderstood, abandoned, not good enough, fear of someone you love not understanding or truly knowing you. The plot also provides individual character development and exploration of relationship between the Doctor and Donna who have not seen each other in years, who are so close and yet were separated by time and space for ages and have changed so much during that time, that neither of them is the same but desperately want to be seen the same way as they used to be by each other. It is also nostalgia and desire for things to be exactly like they used to be.

What can be scarier than monsters who have no physical form or visual manifestation, who steal your personality and bear your face but distort them in the most horrific ways both literally and figuratively? What is scarier than something that has a conscience but can not be seen or touched or categorized? What is scarier than something that can exploit your fears and insecurities and turn them against you?

"Wild Blue Yonder" creates an atmosphere that immerses you in that world which is both a confined space but also the endless dark nothingness, makes you scared, sad, makes you laugh, makes you cry, makes you think how the fictitious horrors of this episode are driven almost entirely by the very human fears of the unknown and being known at the same time. "Wild Blue Yonder" is a masterpiece of acting and storytelling and that's what makes this episode stand out as such a brilliant story! Doctor Who can be silly AND deep at the same time, and when it happens, it is absolutely fantastic!

[ja3yun]

The Sun That Always Burns | S.JY Finale

sim jaeyun x afab!reader

warnings: smut (mdni), oral (f rec.), pussy slapping, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, pet names, dirty talk, i think thats the main stuff, ynjake are so fucking cute so, fluff, reconnection.

wc: 8.7k

synopsis: you and jake's high school relationship blossomed into a romance filled with hope and promise. However, as time went on, jake's long-term expectations began to weigh heavily on you, who struggled to meet them. your paths eventually lead you in separate directions, each experiencing different aspects of life and ultimately moving on from your past love. unexpectedly, fate intervened and you both reunite after years apart. the reunion allows you to rediscover your feelings for each other but also forces you to navigate the complexities of your past and present.

a/n: it's officially over :( i just want to say thank you to everyone who read the series, left comments, and likes! i hope the ending was what you wanted it to be. see you for the sunghoon series!

masterlist

Irony is a funny thing. So is deja vu. As you sit on a train heading home you can’t help but take in your surroundings and laugh at how you have found yourself running away from Jaeyun once again. You find it harder to convince yourself this is the right choice this time, nonetheless. Eunseo is right, you can’t take Jaeyun from Yeoreum. It’s selfish for you to walk in, raise hell, and get your happily ever after, leaving a trail of destruction behind you. You have already caused so much pain and confusion. 

Parts of you know it isn’t your fault, you didn’t know he was going to be there getting married. You did, however, have the opportunity to come clean, to disappear into the wind once again and let them live their happy life, yet you didn’t. Why? 

Selfishness? Ignorance? Love.

It was all for love. You and Jaeyun’s souls are bound by a connection greater than anyone can fathom and as soon as they found their way back to one another you couldn’t stop them from stitching back together, from loving each other. That’s why it feels like dying as you let him go. Just like the first time.

Looking out the train window you see the outskirts of the city you once lived in. It had been a long time since you stepped foot back home and to say you were nervous would be a massive understatement. Pieces of you are scattered around the city, memories of you from a lifetime before. Recollections of your past started to fade the more you were in Pyeongchang, largely due to the fact that you didn’t speak a word of your past to anyone for 4 years. 

Your mind drifts to your mum and dad. Mr. Sim said they had a hard time and that upsets you. In a way, you wish you could go back in time and just tell them not to tell Jaeyun where you were so you could keep your relationship with your parents alight. You have a lot of regrets about that day. 

Stepping off the train you smell the same caramelised nuts from when you were a teenager.

__

When you walked up to the Son family house, it was big, like a mansion. Nothing like your childhood home you were briskly walking up to right now. Carting your bag up the driveway your mouth goes moist, like you’re going to vomit any minute. If you were being honest with yourself you would admit that the anxiety you’re feeling seeing your parents again was overwhelming. If you didn’t know your body you would genuinely believe you might die. 

Tentatively, you raise your hand to the bell, waiting to muster up the courage to press the button. “It’s just your parents, they won’t hate you.” Your voice is barely above a whisper as you convince yourself to push the button.

The ding-dong from the doorbell shoots fear straight through your chest. What if they slam the door in your face? What if they shout and scream at you? You feel like a kid again who is terrified of their parents scolding them for doing something naughty. Guess it doesn’t matter what age you are, 13 or 23, you’ll always be scared of your mum and dad.

A gust of wind hits your face as the door swings open. Your mum. Your beautiful mum. She was right in front of you and suddenly your throat closed and your tear ducts filled.

“Y-Y/N? Sweetheart?” Her mouth hangs open as she whispers out your name, scared that if she says it too loud you’ll vanish from her. You don’t move and neither does she. 

During this time you look at how she’s aged so gracefully, crow's feet that were slight are now deeper, her forehead is adorned with new wrinkles, and her laugh lines are starting to appear. Your mum didn’t just miss you growing up, you missed her growing up too.

The wind blows around you and it pulls you both out of your trance.

“Hi, mum.” You wave nervously, your voice cracking, “How ha-”

Pulling you into her she hugs you tight, her arms squeezing around your neck as she takes in your scent. She can’t believe her baby is right in front of her. There is an astronomical amount of comfort in her hug, but she might squeeze you to death if she grips on any longer. “Mum…too tight.” Laughing slightly as you shed a tear.

“Sorry, sorry, I just can’t,” Her eyes drag over you and suddenly that sweet and soft look turns harsh and you know exactly what is coming, “Where have you been, young lady? Do you know how many times I called the police to look for you? How much time I spent worrying? My hair has turned grey because of you!” 

You laugh and hug her again, “I missed you too, mum.” Her tense body from the scolding she gave you flutters away, this hug holding every apology and forgiveness in it.

Your dad walks up to the door and he sighs relief. He never did have much to say but as he hugs both his daughter and wife, he says enough. 

“Welcome home, honey.”

___

After what felt like hours of explaining everything to your mum and dad, you finally felt the exhaustion hit you. It was hard to blabber out everything that had happened in the past week never mind the past 4 years. When you spoke about Jaeyun they also told you about how it affected him. 

He was a mess according to them. Jaeyun was never home, looking around every motel, all your friends' houses, and hospitals, he even went to every train station with your picture begging people to tell him if they had seen you. It shattered your heart to know that you did that to him. He said he went searching but somehow hearing it in detail from your parents made it worse, like you were there living it with him. 

Yet, here you are, doing it again to him. You can’t even find peace in the fact that at least he has a life to continue with because deep routed within you, you selfishly need it to be you that he’s with. 

As you drag yourself up to your childhood bedroom you feel the depression you felt that clouded you 4 years ago. It’s heavy and you can’t even be bothered to lift your feet to the next step. Talking about it all just puts everything into a clear and concise perspective.

You can’t have him. 

Opening the door you are hit with a massive wave of nostalgia. Everything was exactly in the same place; your plushies, the clothes you threw out of your wardrobe as you packed, and the posters of Monsta X and Seventeen are plastered along the walls. Suddenly you’re 19 again.

You place your bag down on your desk chair and sigh, beginning to tidy up your surroundings. Now you’re older you understand why your mum was always infuriated with the mess of your room and how she cleaned it for you. You’ll thank her properly for all those times tomorrow.

Walking to the pile of clothes you had on the floor you trifle through them and laugh, your fashion sure hasn’t changed. You haven’t really changed all that much if you think about it. One piece of clothing in your peripheral vision catches your eye. A simple black stretch t-shirt with a Lacoste logo embroidered on the right side. It was his t-shirt. 

Your fingers instinctively reach for it, picking it up gently and bringing it to your nose. Somehow it still smells like him, like the him you had the pleasure of calling yours. Gripping it tight you bury your face into it, soaking his essence up. A memory of the last time you remember him wearing it projects in your head. 

He was coming back from football practice and stopped at your house to see you. You think about how pretty he looked that day with his baseball cap put on backward, a silver chain peeking from under this very t-shirt you’re holding. How could someone be so effortlessly beautiful? 

“Baby?” He said waltzing into your room, still high from a successful practice. You were lying on top of your bed with earphones in.

“Jaeyun!” You beamed and sat up a little as you took an earphone out, “thought you were going to Heeseung’s after practice?” 

“Nah, wasn’t feeling it. I’ve used up my social battery for today I think.” He takes the earphone from you and places it in his ear. 

Like muscle memory, you opened your legs and he lay between them, his head placed on your tummy, arms hugging around you so his palms are placed against your back. 

“Jaeyun, if your social battery is drained, why are you here?” You look down and remove his cap, raking your hand through his hair. His puppy eyes meet yours as he looks up, his chin poking your stomach.

“Babe you know you don’t count,” he plants a kiss on your stomach, “I can never get tired of you.”

Heartache is the only feeling you have right now. Everything was so simple back then and you had to ruin it. How many chances did you miss to lay with him like that because you were stupid enough to leave him? 

All the conversations from the last few days swirl in your mind.

‘I would have made long distance work.’ 

‘Baby, I love you’

‘They don’t want him to marry her.’

‘You’ll make the right choice’

’If those reasons don’t matter anymore, you should do what you think is best.’

‘He would leave my sister for you’

It was all too much and you only had yourself to blame. You can’t shake this heaviness in your chest, the only peace you’re finding is in the comfort of his old t-shirt. 

Slipping out of your clothes you forget about cleaning your room, too sad to focus. If you can’t even clear up your thoughts what chance do you have cleaning this mess up? You strip down to your panties before putting on his t-shirt. It fits the way it used to, it’s slightly baggy and ends just on the very top of your thighs. Something about your body being engulfed in something that’s his makes you tranquil. 

You pull your covers back and slink into bed, the sensation strangely foreign despite the years you slept here. As you get comfortable, Jaeyun’s t-shirt wafts, and it’s like he’s in bed with you.

You cry yourself to sleep and dream of a better reality. One with you in his arms. One where you are his.

___

A loud thump at the door jolts you from your slumber. Someone is pounding at the front door and the sudden rude wake-up makes your heart match the rapid bangs. 

Creeping downstairs to not make a sound, your eyes are scanning the lower ground floor for any sign of your parents, fuck, any sign of life at this point. Your dad always said not to answer the door if they ‘chap it like a copper’ so you’re very apprehensive. 

“Dad?” You whisper shout and another couple of hard knocks scare you again. This is it. You’re going to die. It’s karma for all your mistakes. 

It seems you’re the only one home and you stomp your feet like a bratty child trying to build the courage to open the door. “If I die tell Jooheon I loved him.” You say to no one in particular, just anyone that will head your plea.

Unlocking the door you slowly open it and have your eyes tight shut, ready for the worst. 

“Y/N…” 

That voice. His voice. 

You pry one of your eyes open to see if your ears are deceiving you. They aren’t.

“Jaeyun? W-what are you doing here?” You look around behind him in bewilderment and then back into your house searching for the time. “You’re getting married in like-” Whipping your head around you don’t get to finish your sentence.

“I’m not marrying her.”

Shock pulses through your veins. Guilt pours into your heart. This is your fault. 

Your water line was filling with tears at the thought of you ruining his new relationship, ruining his new life all because you were an idiot. You stayed too long, let yourselves get attached again. 

A scoff of disbelief leaves your mouth and you shake your head. “You can’t be serious?”

Looking into his eyes was the worst thing you could have done. He’s tired and drained, he’s looking at you like you hold the universe. Waves of all emotions crash onto you at once and you try to fight back the tears. 

“I’m so serious, baby.” He steps forward and you step back, “No, no, no, Y/N, don’t run from this. Did you think I wouldn’t come chasing after you this time? I love you, Y/N. I can’t live without you, not again.” 

Jaeyun spent the whole night driving, his first stop was at your flat in Pyeongchang. He begged Eunseo for the address and after a hard slap to his face, she gave him it. Jaeyun asked as a shot in the dark, expecting no result, but Eunseo saw the way he was frantically running around the house looking for you. She couldn’t see three broken hearts from this situation. When you weren’t at your flat there was only one place you would be. Here.

You shake your head full-on crying now and trying to get away from him but he yanks you back until your chest is pressed against his. His lips are dangerously close to your chapped ones. Sucking in your bottom lip you sob and look down, “Tell me you want us. Tell me you felt everything I felt this week.”

His words aren’t registering in your head. All you are thinking about is how this is exactly the situation you wanted to avoid back those years ago, Jaeyun giving up everything he has worked hard for, just for you. “You can’t do that. You can’t leave her.”

“If it meant I would have you back I would do anything. I’d break anyone’s heart to be able to hold yours again.” Jaeyun’s eyes are holding tears as his heart beats loudly in his chest and you feel it softly. Only soulmates can notice minute things like that. His words echo in your head and you sob loudly, covering your mouth. “I’ll ask you again, tell me you want this, us.” He’s begging for permission to love you again, to just be yours again.

Jaeyun’s feelings for you never left. When he went to Busan and attended Apollo College he was a shell of a person with only two emotions inside him longing and love, both just for you. 

“You started your new life for a reason, you gotta live it.” Despite your words trying to separate you both you find yourself practically melting into him, becoming one again. 

“Baby, please,” He kisses your forehead and feels you exhale in contentment at his lips laid upon you once again, “I might be living this life but if I don’t have you I’ll spend all of it failing to get over you, just like I have been.” Lips graze from your temple to your cheek, etching their way to your lips, brushing ever so slightly. “What you asked that night at the club, you meant it.”

Confusion sparks on your face, “huh?”

“When you asked me not to marry Yeoreum.”

Shock. 

You’re in complete shock. You didn’t say that, did you? There is no way did. Jaeyun sees the confusion written across your face. You really don’t remember. 

“I saw it in your eyes, in the way you kissed me, touched me. Y/N, it’s fate that you turned up.” Jaeyun’s lips are touching yours as he speaks, patiently waiting for you to give him the green light to devour you in a kiss. But you don’t.

There is so much to lose. Friendships, families, opportunities. Eunseo meant so much to you, if you take Jaeyun away from her sister you’ll lose her. But you’ll lose Jaeyun if you don’t take this chance. You’d be so selfish to say yes to him, to break Eunseo’s heart. To break Yeoreum’s heart. “What about Yeoreum? What about her?”

“I told her everything,” His big hand is holding the right side of your face now, “about us, about how I felt, that I think deep down we both knew we didn’t want this wedding. I wasn’t over you and Yeoreum wasn’t able to live with a husband that couldn’t be 100% hers. And she shouldn’t have to.”

“But you love her.” That’s what you had always thought.

“I loved that she was a distraction from you. When she and I met I was just hooking up with her,” There is pain on your face as he says those words and he rubs the apple of your cheek, “I know, I’m sorry baby, but you gotta hear me out.” He continues, “It was casual, she was good to me, patient. But no one was ever going to shine a light compared to you. One day she was just…my girlfriend.”

You shut your eyes. Honestly, you didn’t want to hear any of this. Of course, you knew she got to have him and touch him the way you used to, but when someone says it so brashly it makes your skin crawl. Especially when it was coming from his lips.

“I told her I wasn’t over you but she said she could help. After that…” Jaeyun continues to thumb your cheek, hoping it provides some comfort and reassurance. “I thought I fell in love with her. Really I did. I even asked her to marry me but I was just in love with the fact that she made me forget you, even for like a millisecond.” He rubs his nose with yours, sighing and closing his eyes, “Believe me, Princess, when I tell you I thought about you every single fucking minute of the day.” 

You did believe him because you did the exact same thing. Even in your dreams, he was always there. 

“Then when I turned around and saw you at the party on Tuesday,” He bites his lip and opens his eyes, almost rolling them at the thought of you in that dress, “Nothing was distracting me. I kissed her and suddenly all I could think of was you again. Your lips, how you made me feel. Fuck, Y/N, you’re the only one that ever let me just be me. How could I truly love someone that I can’t even be myself around.” 

The sobs in your chest rumble as you hold them in but it’s getting hard to breathe. “Shh, baby, relax.” He can feel you struggle for air and he wraps you tight in a hug, “Princess, I love you.”

As he feels your arms wrap around him and hears you crying, he guides you into the house and kicks the door shut to give you some privacy.

Crying hard into his chest he simply soothes you, gently caressing your back and kissing your hair. It’s all too much for you to process. 

One side of you feels guilty, he was happy with Yeoreum before you showed up. The wedding that was meant to take place today is canceled because of you.

The other side of you feels like it’s floating, finally free of a burden. You can love Jaeyun with all your heart because you have the opportunity to be his.

“Princess, look at me.” Jaeyun’s pointer finger lifts your chin, both your eyes meeting, glazed in water. “I’ve already called off the wedding, baby. Either you have me or you don’t. The decision is yours and I’ll respect it.” He smiles sadly, “but if you say no then I’m single and honestly I can’t bear to download a dating app. I refuse.” Jaeyun jokes to lighten the mood and you laugh loudly, masked in a sob. 

He’s right, there’s nothing really stopping you from being together now. You’re basically graduated, and so is he. He has a job in Busan which is like media hub central so you could easily find work. There is no reason to torture your souls anymore.

“Okay.”

“Huh?” Jaeyun’s eyes widen and dart over every detail on your face, waiting to hear what he wants to.

“I love you so much, Jaeyun.” It’s your turn to reach your hand to his cheek, your palm only covering a fraction of what he covers on yours. “I want to be yours. Forever.”

A second. It took one whole second before Jaeyun’s lips were devouring yours, those beautiful full pink lips pressed hard against your own. Not one thought left in any of your heads other than each other. 

You’re both desperate, clashing with one another. Jaeyun dips down and his hands slide down your ass to your thighs, picking you up so you are sitting on his hands, legs enfold around his waist. Not once did you stop kissing him. 

He carries you up the stairs, his feet moving instinctively and quickly to your bedroom like it was just yesterday. Jaeyun knew the scope of your house in every light and darkness with how many times he snuck in to fuck you late at night or had dinner with your family.

When he reaches the top step he bounces you up so you’re more secure on his waist but as your core presses down on his hardening cock he groans. He missed the way you felt and even this teaser was almost sending him over the edge, tempting him to just take you in the hallway.

Kissing Jaeyun felt like sunflowers blossoming in your stomach and out of your mouth, pouring sweetness and love into every smooch, every tongue flick. He rushes into your bedroom and almost falls over the mess. Fuck, you really should have cleaned your room.

Jaeyun’s hands grip you tighter to stop you from falling, “Sorry, Princess.” He places you down gently and goes right back to kissing you, his hands roaming the soft skin under your t-shirt. 

That’s when he notices what you’re wearing. His t-shirt. One he thought he lost when packing to leave for Busnan, but it was with you. Just like his heart. “I thought I lost this.” There’s a double connotation to his words. Yes, it was about the t-shirt, but it was also about you and your love. You look down and sheepishly grin.

“I found it when I came back here.” You say while his hands take the bottom of the t-shirt and rub it.

A smirk plastered on his face, “Damn,” he tuts, “Here I was having thoughts about you touching yourself wearing it while we weren’t together.” 

Oh, Jaeyun hasn’t changed one bit. Still horny, still obsessed with you. Playfully you roll your eyes. “Bold of you to assume I didn’t have another t-shirt of yours.” 

If a grown man could purr, he would have. Closing his eyes, he had to compose himself for a moment before he busted a nut right there and then. You use the moment to massage your hands up his torso and on his chest, rubbing your thumbs over his nipples. The purr turns into a whine as he grabs you tightly on your waist. “Fucking love you so much, Y/N.”

Jaeyun’s lips are back on yours with force as he pushes you onto the bed, his weight hovering over you. The heat emanating from both your bodies feels like the sun has been turned up by 100, his touches light up your skin, and his lips leave sunburnt kisses all over your neck. The way he’s desperately clutching your skin proves to you how much he missed you.

“I wanna fuck you in this t-shirt but shit, I gotta see all of you, baby.” Jaeyun pants in your ear. He’s like a dog on heat, just aching to have you, to consume every inch of you. His tongue runs down your neck until he reaches your collarbone but you need more than this.

While he’s kissing and biting the base of your neck he’s gripping at the t-shirt that’s covering his second favourite part of you and lifting it to uncover your tits. Jaeyun peels himself away from you for a second to admire your figure. God how he has missed your body - the softness of your skin, the way each of your boobs fall slightly to the side when you’re on your back like this, and how your nipples stand proudly. It’s mouth-watering.

“Sit up a bit for me, Princess,” Jaeyun says as he takes off your t-shirt and that’s when he sees the necklace again. He noticed you wearing it the whole week and it made him feel proud, like part of you always belonged to him. His pointer finger holds the chain away from your neck and his smile is beaming. “You never took it off? Like ever?”

“No. I couldn’t” You confess, looking down at it, the sun symbol shining as brightly as the first night he gave it to you. Jaeyun’s smile widened further if that was even possible. Something about you always being branded by him made him feel feral. You were always his and it made him feel guilty because literally yesterday he was getting prepared for his wedding to someone who wasn’t you.

You see his face change to a look you’ve not seen before, “Hey,” Your hand reaches for his face, “What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry. For ever being with someone else.” Your heart shatters. It’s not his fault, none of it is.

“Jaeyun you never have to apologise for trying to move on. I left you without a word, it’s only natural you would move on.”

“But I didn’t. I couldn’t move on.” His hands are massaging your tits as he speaks and it’s sending your brain into a frenzy. It’s been so long since he touched you so intimately yet so commonly. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to put into words the love I have for you.”

As his hands knead your breasts he feels your heart skip and it entices him to lean down and kiss you softly. The act between the two of you right now is so pure and raw. It’s meant to be. 

You kiss him back gently, your tongue slipping into his mouth. The taste of him is so delicious you can’t help but moan and your hands rake through his thick hair. Instinctively, your back arches and pushes into him, the motion causing your tits to mold further into his hands, and the flesh spills between his fingers. 

Jaeyun keeps one hand on your left tit while the other slips down past your waist, the pads of his fingers etching hearts into your skin just like that day in the car. The feeling of his gentle touch is making your stomach do cartwheels and your core aching to be touched. You rub your thighs together to create some friction that will help ease the neediness. He notices you wriggling and he knows exactly what you’re doing.

“Am I not going fast enough for you, Princess?” He smirks, his middle finger dips into your pants just enough to sit in the waistband. You’re throwing your head back, preparing yourself for him to touch you where you need him but instead all his motions stop, causing you to open your eyes and go back to looking at him.

“What are you doing?” You ask.

“You seem to be pleasing yourself all on your own, baby,” Jaeyun’s eyes fall down to look at your legs rubbing together like they’re two sticks and you’re in the woods trying to start a fire, “Don’t want to interrupt you.” 

Oh, he is evil. It’s been 4 years since his hands have been on you and he still has the reserve within him to tease you. 

Jaeyun sits back and grabs your hand, placing it on his wrist. “Use it.”

“Use what?” You’re genuinely confused.

“My hand. Use it how you want. Tell me what you want since you seem to be so desperate and clearly I’m not doing it right.” His tone is unbothered but mocking. There’s a glint in his eye that’s almost challenging you. He’s so fucking hot.

Taking a harsher grip on his wrist, you open your legs and push his hand to cup your heat. He never let you take charge before so you’re apprehensive but you need to take your pennies before they disappear. 

His hand stays there doing nothing and you look at him expectantly. Why isn’t he doing anything? 

Putting your hand to ghost over his you push it down, his palm now pressed hard against your vagina yet he still doesn’t move. His head shakes as he pouts, “That all you want? Come on baby, I thought you were desperate. Hmm?” Somehow his voice is an octave lower and it elicits your pussy to drip through your pants and onto his palm. When Jaeyun feels it he smirks, licking his bottom lip. “Your bodies telling me everything, but you gotta use your words, Princess.” 

You’re feeling a little defiant, he’s too cocky in this situation and you want to take him down a peg or two. So you press the bottom of his palm to your clit and start to grind on it.

When Jaeyun carried you up the stairs not even 30 minutes ago you thought the sex would be sweet, full of confessions and whispered promises to never leave each other again considering the emotional rollercoaster you both went on this week. But you should have known better, that was never his style. 

The sensation of his rigid palm against your nub was sensational and you were gasping when it rubbed you a certain way. You could get off just by doing this but you needed more. More of him.

Jaeyun can see your internal conflict of whether or not to tell him what you want. He leans down, his breath tickling your ear as he speaks, “Princess,” he nips at your lobe, “give in?”

“N-no.” You’re trying to focus on the pleasure you’re feeling but your entrance is clenching around nothing like it’s talking to you and telling you it needs to be filled by something. Anything at all. Jaeyun. 

He tuts and sighs heavily, pulling back and watching you grind on his hand. “Since when didn’t you listen to me?” His middle finger suddenly rubs in between your folds, ghosting over your hole and you could cry with happiness but he stops as soon as he starts, “Want more of that?”

Nodding quickly you stare at him desperately, your hips never stopping the action that’s giving you satisfaction. “Tell me.” 

It was almost like he was asking you to beg him. 

And that is exactly what you do.

“Fuck, please Jaeyun, I need your fingers inside me.”

“There’s my good girl.” He kisses your temple and his once limp hand now gains its strength as it takes over. Finally.

Jaeyun doesn’t know how he’s restrained himself this long. If he wasn’t so in love with the way you act when he teases you he probably would have fucked you and made you cum 3 times already. But it’s the first time in so long since he’s had you like this, he was going to make sure he gave you everything he had. Showed you just how much he missed you.

After pulling your underwear down, two fingers breach your entrance and you throw yourself back onto the bed, gasping as you finally feel some sort of release. He thrusts them in slowly, gliding them in and out as he stretches you out in a way only he knows how. 

Right now Jaeyun didn’t want to think about how you’ve probably been touched by someone else but god does he love to have his ego boosted, so he asks the question, “You’re so tight, baby. All those other guys not fuck you right?”

You can’t believe he’s bringing this up right now. Of course he would surmise that you probably had sex. It has been 4 years and you weren’t going to go celibate your whole life. But to ask it while his fingers are fucking you open, curling into you like he was gesturing for your orgasm to come closer? He sure did pick his times. You know what he’s looking for, what he is looking the hear.

“No,” your voice was quiet, almost lost amongst the wet noises your pussy was making as Jaeyun picks up the pace, “No one fucked me like you do.”

“Because I’m the only one that can fuck you good. Isn’t that right?” His fingers start to scissor you open further causing you to lift your hips and bury the back of your head into the mattress. Jaeyun’s free hand lays flat across your lower abdomen and pushes your hips back down, the pressure only adding to your gratification. 

He was right though, not one other person ever fucked you as good as him. The way he would listen to your body was otherworldly, always giving you exactly what you craved. All those boys from college just looking for a quick fuck didn’t care about you or if you came. Not like Jaeyun who thought if he made you cum only twice it was a weak night.

“I only want you.” You confess his heart could flutter straight from his chest. Jaeyun had missed the way you would just casually say the prettiest things, especially when you were so fucked out like this. He smiles widely and kisses your tummy.

“And I only need you,” he replies, his lips still lingering under your navel. 

His thumb rubs your clit and you’re seeing stars, a coil erupting in your stomach. Jaeyun feels you cumming and goes harder with his fingers, thrusting them up at a rapid pace just the way you liked and putting pressure on your sensitive bud. “That’s it, Princess.” He talks you through it but you’re too far gone to hear a word he says, “So fucking beautiful cumming on my fingers like this. Such a good girl for me. I love you so much.” He says these cute but filthy words in between kisses he’s planting on your forehead. 

As you come down from your high you don’t get a chance to breathe as you feel your legs being pinned open and Jaeyun’s tongue is lapping up your cum. “J-Jaeyun give me a…give me a minute.” But he doesn’t let up, lost in your essence, drinking your cum like it’s the sweetest thing since honey. 

Your taste has been missed. Jaeyun almost forgot how addicting your pussy is. Messily he starts to lick and suck at your overstimulated nub, he’s eating you like a man starved and you can’t help but be brought close to release once again. 

His tongue dips into you, curling as he slurps up every trace of your last orgasm. Your fingers find his hair to grip on while you moan profanities into the warm air.

“Tug on it, Princess,” Jaeyun instructed and you did just that. Yanking his hair emanated a low groan from the boy between your legs, his hips humping the mattress to try and relieve the pressure in his trousers. If he didn’t make you cum again soon he would spill right into his boxers. That situation only happened once when it was his birthday and you wore those cute frilly pants that he loved. You let him eat you out with them still on, the fabric rubbing against his nose, and when you came all over his face he came in his boxers. 

Jaeyun’s eyes roll to the back of his head at the memory, only spurring him on to devour you even more in this moment. He feels your walls contracting around his tongue so he pulls out and puts his mouth to work back on your clit.

“S-shit, Jaeyun,” The grip you have on his hair tightens, “I’m gonna cum again.”

The smirk on his face didn’t match the butterflies in his chest. His cocky exterior was a mask for how much he was anticipating your release on his face, how he was so giddy with excitement that he got to soak you up, something he thought would never happen again.

“Let go, love. Give it to me.” He wanted to sound confident but he practically whined it, begging for your nectar. He was hungry for it, for you.

His words have you cumming again and the sound that erupts from your mouth has Jaeyun growling into your pussy. He was the one making you cry out in pleasure like that and he was confident no one else ever had. 

Your chest is heaving, pants echo in the room but Jaeyun is still between your legs, cleaning every last drop from you. 

“Jaeyun, please…” You go to shut your thighs but you can’t, his hands forcing them to stay open. He wasn’t done with you but you don’t know how much more you can take. “Baby, I’ve only got one more in me, max.” It’s embarrassing to admit it but you haven’t cum like this in so long, and you wanted to cum on his dick at least once today. 

His big eyes twinkle as he peaks his head up. “What?” He looked so cute you contemplate if you could really cum 2 more times.

Playing with his luscious now slightly damp hair you smile at him, “I can push for one more but I want it to be on your cock.” Almost like your words pulled him out of his trance he smiled, placing one last kiss on your clit before sitting up. 

“Remember you used to be able to cum like 6 times in one night?”

“Yes,” You roll your eyes and smile, “but that was when you had me trained. I’ve not cum more than once in, oh I don’t know, 4 years.” 

The arrogance radiating off him was so sexy. Jaeyun’s ego was the size of a hot air balloon as you disclose the information that he is in fact the only man who can make you feel good like this. 

His hand pets your pussy as he leans down again, “Don’t worry, I’ll train you back up in no time.” 

“Um, Jaeyun?” 

“Yeah?” His eyes meet yours waiting for you to continue.

“Did you just speak to my vagina?” 

There’s a silence and then laughter from both of you. Now that Jaeyun hears you acknowledge his actions out loud he realises how strange it must have looked. He brings his hand to scratch the back of his neck as his laugh gets louder.

“Yes?” He chuckles and places his hands on his hips in embarrassment, “Sorry.”

“Is that a new thing you picked up? Talking to genitals?” You shuffle up so you’re sitting straight, legs spread as wide as the smile on your face.

Jaeyun shrugs, “Sometimes it’s a very stimulating conversation.”

Your eyebrows raise, “Oh really? And what is my pussy saying to you now?”

Crawling towards you he smirks and his puppy-like eyes are blown out with love and lust, “It’s telling me that it needs to be fucked so good it’ll start barking.” You laugh again. He’s so silly and stupid. He’s your Jaeyun.

Once you both stop laughing you place your hand on his face, stroking your thumb on the squishy part of his cheeks. You both look at each other and instantly understand one another. The apologies, the pining, the need, the love. You could almost cry right there and then as his eyes whisper a soulful ‘I love you’, you can’t ever imagine living without him again.

“I love you so much, you know that right? You know I never stopped?” The hand that was on his face now wipes his mouth clean of your cum. Jaeyun wouldn’t have cared if your juices stayed there forever, at least he could taste you all the time.

“I know, Princess. I love you more than the moon and the stars.” Jaeyun’s bottom lip juts out and you take the opportunity to kiss it, sucking it a little and tasting yourself on him. 

Sitting on his knees he deepens the kiss, leaving you breathless. Your hands unbutton his trousers clumsily and he smiles into the kiss. “Want a hand?”

“Shut the fuck up,” You laugh, “I’m distracted.” Jaeyun beams and nuzzles your nose.

Standing up, Jaeyun pulls down his trousers and goes to follow it with his boxers but he swiftly turns around and heads for your drawer, looking to locate a condom. He pulls out the shiny blue packet and examines it, “Baby?” He twirls to you, the packet in between his middle and pointer finger, “You think these have an expiration date?” 

You watch him look thoroughly at the packet. If he didn’t look so cute right now you would be wondering how he can be so bright but so dumb at the same time. “Jaeyun, baby, did you not take sex ed?”

“Huh?” He’s puzzled.

“They lose effect over time? 3-5 years max? Ring any bells?” You’re trying to hold in a laugh as his eyebrows furrow together.

“When did we learn that?” He’s racking his brain for any recollection of the class, then i clicks his fingers and point to you, “Ah, Mrs. Lee. That was the class I made those little boat hats in.”

He was so proud of himself, every time he had the class he timed how many he could make within the hour.

“I think I still have the pink one you made me in here somewhere,” You scour the room to see if it was easily available. “Anyway, you don’t need it.”

“The boat hat?”

“No-” Oh my days he is unbelievable you think to yourself “No the condom you idiot!” You’re shaking your head in disbelief. He is truly so stupid. “You don’t have to use one, unless you want to, of course.” You let him decide what to do. However, you’re patience is wearing thin and you’re getting chilly due to you sitting on the bed naked.  

“Seriously?” Jaeyun never thought he would get to feel your raw pussy ever again. That one time you let him fuck you without a condom was the best thing he ever experienced. With Yeoreum he always wore a condom despite her protests most times. He just couldn’t risk it, being a dad so soon wasn’t worth it regardless of how good it would feel. That and he only wanted to have sex raw with you, no one else. “Are you on the pill?”

“I got a coil put in last year.” You shudder at the memory and pain. It was easily in the top 5 most uncomfortable moments you went through, but right now you’re glad you got it.

“Did you fuck guys without a condom?” His voice is hurt and his arms drop to his side, face frowning. Jaeyun didn’t want anyone else’s cock feeling your walls the way he did. It was his pleasure to have, not anyone else

You quickly shake your head sit up more alert than before, hands flying to your chest as if to swear on your heart. “Oh god no, baby. My periods got like, really really bad. I got the IUD because they said it would help.” How could he think that? You couldn’t do that to him.

Seeing him physically relax eases your own mind. “Okay, good. I was worried there for a second.”

“You never fucked Yeoreum without one?” Her name leaving your lips leaves a bitter feeling in your mouth and his ears. He mumbles a ‘no of course not' and throws the probably expired condom back into the drawer. 

Jaeyun walks towards you with a small smile on his face, relief evident. Now he can make love to you with full confidence that he is, and will be, the only man to ever truly feel you. He steps out of his boxers and you’re almost salivating at the sight, drool threatening to drip down your chin. You’ve missed it so much.

You reach your hand out but he slaps it away lightly. Protesting with a soft ‘hey’ you go to touch him again but it’s the same result.

“Princess, I love that you wanna gag around my cock but I need to be inside you, like, right now.” Your walls throb at his words. His effect on you and your body needs to be studied one of these days.

Before you know it, he’s pushing you to lay on your back, kissing all over your face and neck, each kiss meaning more than the last.

“You’re hearts beating,” You say quietly as he sucks on the sweet spot just under your ear.

“Yeah baby, kinda how I stay alive,” Feeling his smile on your neck as his tongue licks you gets you even wetter than before, if that was possible, “I didn’t miraculously turn into Edward Cullen.” 

“A girl can dream,” You joke. A slap across your pussy makes you yelp and open your eyes wide. “What was that for?”

Shrugging, Jaeyun smirks, “For thinking about another guy.”

“You brought him u-”

Slap.

The stinging on your pussy brings you to a halt. “Stop that!” 

Slap

You can’t deny how much it’s turning you on, the groan that slips from your lips plasters a smirk on Jaeyun’s face. “Be a good girl, yeah?” His hand goes back to your pussy to soothe the nipping.

Having sex like this again was invigorating for him, he missed this so much. He missed you. 

Replacing his hand with his dick he starts to collect your wettness on the tip of his cock. He looks into your eyes for permission to go and as soon as you nod he slips the head of his cock in. “Fuck.” 

The pace is slow as he takes in the feeling of your cunt hugging him so tight, fitting him like a glove. When he pulls back, the tip snags on your hole and he repeats this until your begging him for more. “Babe please, faster.” 

He speeds up, his hips driving into you as he bottoms out each time he lunges forward, his head pecking kisses to your cervix. He’s so deep in you, that the unfamiliar familiar feeling begins to overwhelm you. Jaeyun’s pubic bone is lightly hitting your overstimulated clit and it’s making you thrash under him. “Jae-Jaeyun please,” 

“What is it, baby?” The soft-spoken tone of his words is a juxtaposition to his relentless thrusts that are battering your cunt. 

“Close.” If it was any other time, you would be embarrassed at how fast you’re cumming again, but Jaeyun would understand. He does. 

Jaeyun spits on your folds and rubs it in, focusing on your clit to bring you over the edge. The sensations are too overwhelming, between his fingers roughly rubbing your bud and his cock bruising your walls, it’s all too much and you’re cumming for the third time that day. 

The squeeze of your walls nearly has Jaeyun spilling into you but he wants this to last a little longer. “That’s it, Princess. Cumming over my cock so well,” He kisses your forehead, “Such a perfectly good girl for me.” 

Jaeyun’s lips trail down your face to your neck to your tits, his mouth taking in your right nipple. “Fucking hell, Jaeyun.” He can’t hear you because he’s too busy sucking your tit and losing himself in consuming you. 

His hips are jackhammering into you and you can’t think straight, your mind is foggy, mouth wide open, eyes have rolled back, and hands aimlessly gripping at his back and arms. You haven’t been fucked like this in years, hell, you don’t think you and Jaeyun have ever had sex as good as this. 

Jaeyun mentally agrees with you as he starts to lose his rhythm but still gives you his all. His mouth leaves your nipple as he buries his head in the crook of your neck, “Fuck, Y/N, can’t hold back anymore.”

Despite his energy depleting, his thrusts are still sharp and his hands are holding you down by your hips, leaving you no option but to just lay there and take his powerful hits. Not that you minded, this is exactly how you like it.

You don’t truly believe it but you think you might cum again. To make sure you get there in time with him you reach down and rub yourself, mewling loudly in his ear at the feeling. 

Jaeyun’s head peaks up to look at you, “You gonna cum with me, Sweetheart?” The nickname isn’t used often but when he does whisper it, it’s your favourite one.

“Y-yes oh god yes.” 

Jaeyun kisses you hungrily as your words help him spill his seed into you, the white strings shooting straight into you and it mixes with your own release. You both chant each other's names along with some expletives, Jaeyun dropping in 2 ‘I love you’s’ just for added measure.

A few minutes later once you both had time to compose yourselves, Jaeyun falls to the side of you and stares at the ceiling. He was so content with everything in this moment. You are back in his arms, he’s just had the best sex of his life, and his heart finally feels like it’s beating with a purpose other than just living. It’s beating for you and that is the best feeling in the world.

“I love you, Jaeyun.” You turn your face to the side to look at him, eyes smiling softly. 

He takes your hand and lays a kiss on top of it. “I love you too, Y/N.” 

None of you have to say any more than that right now. It’s enough.

He sits up and inspects your body, some bruises were his fingers dug in too deep forming and he frowns. He didn’t mean to go so hard but quite frankly he wouldn’t take it back.

“I’ll be back in a minute.” Planting a kiss on your head he makes a b-line for downstairs, grabbing a glass of water and some paracetamol for you. 

When he comes back, you’re sitting up, leaning against the headboard with your eyes shut. You’re the perfect view. 

“Here, baby.” After handing you the water and pills he puts his boxers back on and gives you the black t-shirt from earlier. “Almost forgot we’re literally still at your parent's house.” His neck turns red.

“I don’t even know where they are?” You place the water on the windowsill next to your bed and pull the top over your head. Jaeyun hums and stays sitting at the edge of the bed with his head down. Gently your hand makes contact with his shoulder, “Babe? You okay?”

“You’re mine again, right?” He side eyes you because he’s too nervous to look directly at you, “Like, you’ll come to Busan with me and be my girl again?”

Your heart summersaults and you smile reassuringly. You couldn’t imagine ever being away from him again. You made that mistake the first time but never again, “I will. I’ll need to finish up Uni but that���s only a few months.” Grabbing his chin you turn him to you, “Then I’ll be home with you.”

Home. Your home.

“Marry me.” 

“What? Haven’t you had enough wedding drama for a while?”

“I’m serious!” He laughs and looks at the ceiling, thinking deeply, “Not right now, but when we’re settled. Be my wife?”

The only thing you can do is kiss him as confirmation, too overwhelmed by pure emotions to give him a verbal answer. This is truly all you’ve ever wanted.

He pulls back and smiles widely. “Wait here!” In the next few seconds, Jaeyun shoved his t-shirt on and pranced downstairs and out the front door. What is he doing? 

Hearing his car door open and shut you impatiently wait for him to come back. It doesn’t take long but why is it when you want them to hurry up time suddenly slows down. With his hands behind his back, he enters your bedroom once again. 

“Y/N L/N,” He coughs before he starts again, “I love you more than anything else in the whole world. You’re so stupid and annoying, and honestly, you’re mean.” 

Wow, you think, he’s such a charmer. 

“But you’re mine. My everything to be quite honest. I could have everything in the world and if you’re not by my side there really is no point in any of it.” He sits down beside you on the bed, hands still clasped behind him, “So, would you do me the great honour of marrying me in the distant, but please make it near, future?”

He moves his hands to the front of him and you tear up. Is it what you think it is?

Trembling, your hands take the white box and stare at it. It takes you a moment to gather up the courage to open it but when you do it’s like it opens a floodgate of tears as they ricochet down your cheeks.

The pinky ring he gave you the night before you left shines in front of you. He kept it all these years later. Jaeyun didn’t know why quite honestly because it only served as a hurtful memory. But as he sees you ogle at it, he realises it was exactly for this moment.

“My speech the first time was better I think.” Jaeyun jokes and you choke out a little sob. Taking the ring from the box he slips it onto your left pinky. It still fits perfectly. Just like you and Jaeyun. “So? Will you?”

“Yes.” Nodding your head and wiping your tears with your free hand you give him the answer he’s been waiting to hear his whole life, “I’ll marry you. Eventually.”

His forehead rests against yours. “I’m gonna love you forever.”

“Until the sun stops burning?”

“Until the sun stops burning."

[tossawary]

I'm back to frequently thinking about a Transformers AU for SVSSS, because I love trying to fuse the worldbuilding (working across several different continuities of TF, admittedly) into something recognizable to both worlds that's also new. I also love pulling on the elements these worlds have in common: immortal beings, endless conflicts, switching bodies, cores of power, building yourself up to become a higher being, oppressive systems controlling entire worlds, people (characters) who were constructed and are discarded for specific purposes (profit and sometimes just entertainment) and are not always viewed as real people, the creator god might be just some guy over there, and so on.

For this AU, my story outline currently sticks to Cybertron and its surrounding space. I don't have any characters whom I want to make human, I have very specific backgrounds in mind for everyone already, and I have a plotline that doesn't require Earth or humans in any way. Though, for fun, I was absentmindedly fiddling with the idea of taking the characters of a different MXTX story (MDZS or TGCF) and making them into the humans of this AU.

I feel like Wei Wuxian would be one of those human characters who is basically already climbing into the seat before a transformer can finish introducing themselves as a giant space robot; oh, he is DOWN for whatever the fuck this is. However, if I was writing Wei Wuxian as a human in a TF AU, I don't know which SVSSS character I would pair him with as his "partner", as I personally would be far more interested in writing a story in which Lan Wangji and/or Wen Ning (both?) are Cybertronians. (Yes, obviously, Wei Wuxian would be a robotfucker for LWJ.) I'm leaning more towards Wen Ning, because there's the "I rebuilt this guy and turned him into an abomination who acts kind of in service to me" aspect, and also it's funny to imagine human Lan Wangji having to put up with his boyfriend's alien car being a part of the relationship.

With TGCF, making the characters into the humans of a TF AU for SVSSS feels like a reversal. Xie Lian's narrative everything arguably makes him an even better Cybertronian than any other MXTX character. The fall from being, say, a Prime and the Bearer of the Matrix to apparently being some poorly-maintained bot that spends its time picking up trash on Earth in the aftermath of some Cybertronian war? Delicious. Hua Cheng was some half-broken, half-starving, outlier freak, MTO discard saved by the new Prime EIGHT MILLION YEARS AND SEVERAL WARS AGO, and has never gotten over it and never will. And a lot of the other TGCF characters also match very nicely to TF worldbuilding: mmm, my brain likes chewing on the image of beautiful and terrifying, near-immortal robots falling from the "heavens". It's even easy to source internal TGCF characters as the humans if you need human characters, so there's no real need to make it into a crossover with MDZS or SVSSS.

So, ultimately, this TF AU for SVSSS is not going to be a crossover. I don't want it to be. But I did enjoy thinking about TF AUs for MDZS and TGCF as well, where the worldbuilding or character arcs fit nicely together, so I wanted to share that here.

[she-who-seek-happiness]

For those who have ADHD and/or autism.

I wanna to do a test to see if I'm autistic, have ADHD, both or neither. For some reason I'm terrified of knowing the truth. Sorry if I sound offensive at some point, I'm just writing about myself and don't mean to be mean at any point.

ADHD, the name changed right? Gonna use this one because I'm writing this quickly. If I have ok, that'd explain why I'm so forgetful and nothing catches my attention unless I'm interested in the topic. And why is so hard to focus. And why I never finish my projects. But I'm not hyper active. I'm a pretty calm person, I can't reall5sit and focus for too long, but give me a hair elastic thing and I'll play with it for hours while listening to you. And I'll be able to actually listen.

Don't ask me to look in your eyes tho, I will. But only for 5 minutes if you are lucky.

My mom a lot for times aska me for things and I completely forget about them, things that are important and I feel bad for forgetting.

But all of this could simply be me and no ADHD. I don't know.

Autism

Frankly I don't think I have autism. But the reports are just so relatable it scares me a bit. I was bullied a lot during my childhood. I remember in the first grade, I tried hard to make friends but I never was able to. To this day I don't know why. Why people didn't like me? I have a timeline of events in my head of my entire life, things that happened when I was 2 y.o. but I don't have details. I don't remember if i did something or not to be not liked. The first school that my parents put me in I was there for a year. In this whole year I didn't make a single friend. I remember I asked my parents for help to do a lost of people who were and weren't my friends simply to try to uncover the reason for that. Is this a sign of autism? Idk. Maybe I'm just out of the norm, but not autistic. Doesn't seem like autism. Autism is something that affects your day to day, every day life. I'm not sure if I have signs everyday.

I have trouble socializing. I have trouble making friends. I have trouble maintaining friendship. But I can understand sarcasm, jokes and I'm able to tell when people are sad or uncomfortable. so there's goes signs that the internet sites gave me. Sometimes I do have troubles talking and truly understanding what my parents say. Not because they are complex, but because I don't get it. There are easier ways to do things and they won't for some alien reason.

I have trouble understanding relationships, in the sense what it means to be in, part of or the different aspects of relationship. People expect things. Sometimes it feels like mathematical equations on which I have to be constant aware of. I gave to do this to get to that. A lot of times I feel like I'm manipulating the few relationships that I have big I can't see another way.

Don't you dare change my routine. I'll be messed up and although not cry, I'll be very close to. Unless the change is "we are not going outside of the house anymore", sudden things messes my little planned time. At the same time I can't really organize myself very well.

I do have some subjects on which I'm very passionate about. But I'm no genius on them and although I'd love to, I can't keep going on them for hours and hours because, as said before I can't communicate very well. My social skills are terrible, I don't know what to say most of the time but I feel like I should.

I don't think I have autism. I don't think I have ADHD. I think I'm only different from other people but can't put my finger exactly on what exactly. I don't feel like I really fall into the spectrum because I lack the usual signs. But I don't know how much of this is stereotyping both those conditions.

[gplovestwdg]

hiii! loving your modern au!! do you have more info about brody <3, marlon and like the rest of the ericson kidss?

Thank you for your interest and sorry it took so long for me to respond to this ask! ^^

The main Ericson's group from season 4 is split across high schoolers and young kids in my au and they live in separate areas of the school. Characters that go to the Ericson's high school are exactly the same age and in the same grade even if they're a bit younger/older in canon while characters that are younger than high school age are their canon ages.

Everyone is mostly the same though, like I've mentioned before, their roles within this au are slightly different. Marlon and Brody are the President and Vice-President of their grade respectively and as juniors (yes they're in 11th grade) they're given a lot of responsibility considering they'll be graduating next year. Also they're in a not so healthy relationship...

They share most of their classes, and Marlon definitely has anger issues that are exasperated by Brody's anxiety troubles. Here's the two of them with some unnamed students during the gym class they share ^^

It's difficult to divulge all the information regarding every character without turning this into an incomprehensible block of text so I'll be brief with other characters:

Louis and Violet are mostly the same, Louis is Marlon's childhood friend and Violet is pretty closed off and in an also not so healthy relationship with Minnie.

Minnie and Sophie are both on the school's baseball team, Minnie is similar to herself in game personality wise. She can be pretty rude and is very prone to siding with authority figures (teachers in this case) compared to those close to her. Sophie is much brighter and values the independence of students over the authority of teachers. Also Sophie and Mitch have something going on (fueled by my silly crackship in middle school haha.)

Mitch is literally the exact same lol. So are Aasim and Ruby, Aasim is the same as he is in game but he puts up a front around teachers as he's grown attached to his fellow students and doesn't particularly want to go home, since in game he's canonically basically been rehabilitated by the time of the apocalypses start. And yes, he's still pining after Ruby in my au. Omar is also virtually the same as well, he volunteers a lot to help the cafeteria ladies and gentlemen with lunch and dinner.

Tenn and Willy live in a separate section of the school for middle/elementary school aged kids and have their own teenager that they get to see once a week(Minnie/Sophie and Mitch respectively), kinda like the big brother program if you've heard of it. Though Sophie and Mitch specifically are very adept at sneaking around and seeing them near daily.

Here's a little relationship chart with all the kids ^^ Some relationships are a bit one-sided and some are multifaceted as well! For example most of the friends/hate arrows are meant to show annoyance/resentment in the friendship.

Also AJ lives in this section of the school, unbeknownst to Clem for now. It doubles as a living space/common education for kids taken by CPS.

Finally all the teenagers mentioned are in a big friend group and since they're friends with their grades president and vice-president they're able to take advantage of certain aspects of the school like sneaking out late at night without much punishment. They like to hang out around the river near the fishing cabin and in the forest, but Marlon doesn't let them go outside his arbitrary safe zone cause he can't really make up an excuse for them to be out past there and the thought of getting into trouble with the adults terrifies him. Though they do take the train into the closest town and hangout on weekends!

Ahh movie night :')

[ottosbigtop]

if you have any crumbs to share... about aac raz/lili/bobby dynamic pleeeez ramble to me i want info i'm so into this concept T_T

oh my guy I have so many crumbs for you. These guys have resided in the back of my brain forever but I was usually too embarrassed to say anything about it outside of a couple joke posts. But this is my house so I’m choosing to thrive and frolic.

Also a doodle of the aforementioned three before I enter my tangent :) rambling under the cut

the initial dynamic of these three goes something like

-Lili & Bobby - can’t stand his fake ass. She remembers having to deal with him at whispering rock and clearly is not very good at letting go of grudges from when she was ten. This is, in fact, Bobby’s worst nightmare. He was terrified of working for the psychonauts partially because he didn’t want to run into people he used to know. Surprise! They don’t like each other.

-Raz & Bobby. Raz has the complete opposite problem he literally barely remembers this guy. They interacted for maybe a collective hour one day when he was 10 years old, he only recalls him because Lili clocks him and reminds Raz. Bobby mostly hadn’t thought about him since camp, but did build a little (lot) bit of a resentment after seeing that weird little freak from camp pop up on different True Psychic Tales covers. That on top of Bobby now having to intern under this guy makes their relationship kind of spotty to start, for sure.

-Raz & Lili. Theyre having fun :) After having fun “dating” as real young kids they fall out of touch during their teen years when Raz goes to travel with then circus again to try and reconnect with his family (whole other can of worms for him.) They meet back up during the late teen years and sort of pick up right where they left off, dating off and on for a bit and “officially” dating long term for a little over a year now.

Both their relationships with Bobby evolve over time, naturally. Bobby and Raz have a whooole fucking thing that isn’t fully conceptualized and Is way too long a concept for me to share but their intern/mentor relationship does help them learn to get along with each other. And of course them getting along means Lili having to deal with being around Bobby more often and so it begins.

The whole ~ feelings ~ aspect mostly starts with her and Bobby I think, funnily enough. They hate each other, they want each other dead so bad, but eventually they have to learn to get along for Raz’s sake if nothing else. So they learn! Try to, at least. They’re both really bad at it.

but the “i hate you i want you dead” manages to evolve into that more friendly insulting banter some people have. “I hate you i want you dead” (complimentary.) It gives Raz a headache because it takes him a while to process that they’re usually joking when they’re arguing with each other now.

Lili doesn’t like when she starts to have Feelings about that shitty little freak (tm.) I think she’s somewhere on the Aro spectrum and when Raz wasn’t around she really never. Felt any sort of desire for romance with anyone else. Girl just kind of forgot about it for a bit until he showed up again. Which caused a lot of emotions. And then got used to that until Bobby is introduced into the equation and slowly she starts to feel things toward him that aren’t Rage and Disgust. Which causes a lot of emotions.

Raz I think is entirely oblivious of having any feelings toward him for the longest time. While Lili is a slow “oh god oh fuck” buildup, he’s just really happy he and Bobby are getting along at all that any sort of progress in affection toward him just feels like another big win for friendship. I think it hits him all at once late at night on a random Tuesday and he just sits up in bed and stares at a wall about it.

The whole Raz and Lili communicating abt the concept of polyamory would make this insane post already twice as long and it’s not a part of it all I’ve thought about anyways so we’re going to shelve it for now. But once they do reach the conclusion that they saw this guy from across the bar and they liked his vibe, they both proceed to trip over their own feet for the next however many weeks.

You see, “woman who does not process her emotions” and “guy who needs a twelve step plan for everything” is a prime combination for two people who are pulling some mad scientist shit to try and talk to this guy rather than just inviting him out to eat sometimes. And Bobby is convinced for a little bit that they’re planning to dissect his brain or something because they keep doing that ^

On Bobby’s side of this whole equation the evolution is just his own little torment nexus for a few months.

he initially discovers he’s got a thing for Lili after they start getting along more and it sucks for him. He enjoys their flirty little threats of violence but he’s also close with Raz at this point so I think it just kind of makes him feel . Gross . Like man am I flirting with my friend’s girlfriend I think I am. Oh he’s probably going to hate me. Help.

and that concern for Raz is also a guy in the back of his brain knocking on a door very loudly trying to tell him he’s bisexual but he’s not quite arrived at that conclusion. Give him a few more missions where Raz grabs him while he’s falling to his death and he’ll get there probably.

there’s so many words. These are so many words. I’ll be honest the wacky schenanigans of the “before relationship” era are so funny to me that I’ve not really had any conceptual ideas for them getting into + Being In a Relationship yet. But I hope that you like this at least! This insanely long ass post goes out to you and the one other guy who’s a fan of these three (hi)

[acediaedeus]

this does contain them sweet

SPOILERS

what I find really upsetting about Ichigo’s dynamic with his friends/family/mentors is how they treat the fact that he’s part-Hollow. especially when it comes to the Visored and Orihime.

bc yeah, the Visored did struggle with their Hollows, bc they already lived hundreds of years without that aspect. they were comfortable with their shinigami existence, but then this hollowfication bullshit drops on their heads and suddenly they’re not only barely in control of themselves, constantly in a fight with an inner “demon”, but also there’s no one to support them AND they’re getting fucking exiled and then they exist as this tightly knit community of eight for a fucking century with no one to understand them but each other. I’d hate the Hollow in me too, probably.

BUT, then there’s this fresh guy, that hasn’t accepted the fact that he’s now an amalgamation of a million different things, including something that he has been told he has to fight and exterminate, that they have to teach to manage the hollowfication bullshit™️ so what do we do? correct, scare the shit out of him and present existing with a Hollow as amensalism (one is harmed, one is unaffected) or parasitism (one benefits, one is harmed) when it’s more like commensalism (one benefits, one is unaffected), in which the shinigami is clearly the one who’s benefiting from this.

(although we could argue that for the Visored this is a symbiotic relationship in which both are getting harmed, but even then the shinigami still gains benefit and the Hollow gets nothing but hatred, so like, fuck them, lol (I’m advocating for inner-Hollow rights 💀🙏🏻)).

biology lesson out of the way, they essentially do not teach Ichigo anything that would bring long-term benefits (we see this when Ichigo is unable to complete his training with Squad 0, bc he has no fucking idea who Zangetsu (or he himself) actually is (this is, of course, in part his quincy power’s doing, but I wouldn’t say his supposed “mentors” helped much).

in conclusion what does Ichigo get out of this? self-hatred and the habit to suppress what is, whichever way you look at it, a big part of his being, thus blocking himself and Zangetsu from reaching their full potential.

but I guess you can’t teach lessons you haven’t learnt yourself, so there is that with the Visored.

now onto my dear Orihime, who I love dearly (this is a disclaimer). for someone who, supposedly, loves Ichigo more than anything and who we have to take seriously as not only just a potential love-interest, but the actual, one-and-only lover, she is a little bit too scared of Ichigo.

this, of course, for me, begs the question of how am I supposed to accept a love-interest who is consistently terrified of the mc? not a single battle with Orihime present (and Ichigo using the mask) without her shaking in fear and having to be reminded by others (who have known him for much less time than she has), that not only is it still Ichigo in front of her, but he’s also fighting and pulling out the mask he himself doesn’t like much, in order to protect her.

it’s plain and simple upsetting how there’s absolutely no one to accept and embrace the essence of Kurosaki Ichigo. everyone around him wants the shinigami and human in him, no one is interested in the Hollow (except for *ahem* Grimmjow *ahem*), all they do is reject and cower and isn’t that fucking hypocritical after hiding behind his back and begging him to save them?

everyone around Ichigo just really pisses me off with their constant whining. I feel like the only ones who love and cherish Ichigo for the absolute gem of a person he is are Chad and the fucking Arrancars 💀🙏🏻

as I mentioned in the ALT to the last photo in this parade of idiocy: trying to separate and think of Hollow Ichigo and Ichigo as two different entities is crazy and delusional behaviour, bc we have been told countless times, that a person’s inner Hollow is a manifestation of all repressed emotions and traits that they view as unsavoury. which for Ichigo happened to be aggression, cruelty, being merciless and thirst for bloody battles.

let me remind everyone that you cannot truly love a person w/o accepting and acknowledging all their flaws (including yourself).

this is not me trying to say Orihime doesn’t love Ichigo, it’s not really about the characters, more so the writing. I am actively trying to square up with Tite Kubo. for many reasons, but this is one of the ones I pay most attention to.

Ichigo is someone who is in perfect control of himself, who protects no matter what, bc even when he turned into the vasto lorde (after getting his heart ripped out of his chest) it was all his Hollow, yet it still carried out the mission of protection seamlessly, that’s how strong his will is. Kurosaki Ichigo deserves ppl who actually love him around, thank you.

thanks for coming to this ted talk, love y’all!

[drawinglin]

Hello. Regarding Hellraiser III, I seem to recall you making a comment about how you believed Elliott and Unbound!Pinhead to be physical manifestations of Freud's model of the psyche - super-ego and id respectively. I am in total agreement with you there, and I have believed this same thing for a long time now. This would also make normal 'Bound' Pinhead that we meet in the first two films, and the films following Bloodline, to be the actual Ego itself. I think this makes the third film, and the characterisations so much more interesting, rather than doing what the early 90s HR comics did, which was to have Pinhead be an Aztec 'demon' who possesses Elliott, making them separate people altogether. That's boring and predictable, and just goes against everything that the movies established in the earlier films for Pinhead. By having Unbound and Elliott be one and the same, just different aspects of the same man, which is basically what HR is about - our deepest, darkest desires explored and enhanced, it builds on the HR mythology. This is why I've always loved HR3, and why I don't think it's a bad film, and why I just adore Unbound as a character. This is Pinhead off the leash. I still believe that Unbound would still be very fond of Kirsty, and still would be driven to protect her in some way. Even without his human side. But for the most part, he would be super eager to have her join him. Though he'd treat her much differently than he did the club patrons. I don't think the love/lust for Kirsty comes from just his human side. It comes from all of him.

Anyway, I thought I'd share my thoughts on the matter with you. I found this online regarding id, ego, super-ego, and it reminded me of the boys even more so. Maybe you could draw something out of this? It's an idea. I love your art. Keep up the good work! :)

Your analysis of Unbound and Elliot is exactly what I was thinking. It almost makes me cry. I’ve always found it hard to dislike HR3 for this reason. After watching the HR1 and HR2, I felt that human desires and darkness are what truly terrify us. So when I discovered that HR3 split the Hell Priest into two characters, I was super excited.

The human version of Elliot is relatively mature; after all, he carries the memories and burdens from his time as a human, as well as the PTSD of being a survivor of World War I. He is also someone who adheres strictly to rules. I guess this leadership quality and personality is what attracted Leviathan to him, eventually leading him to become the priest managing hell. In the moment of their separation, the repressed desires, dark sides, and nature of the human were individually extracted, like a newly born child without constraints. They both possess things that the other lacks. I’m really looking forward to their journey of hatred and self-destruction gradually turning into understanding, culminating in a new interpretation of a single person. It’s amazing! But unfortunately, HR3 didn’t delve into their complex psychological relationship in detail. This regret has made me want to doodle their story.

I was shocked to learn that the comic had mentioned the demon's setting before; I had no idea about that. Thank you for sharing! Like you, I’m more inclined towards the idea of the id and superego!

I agree that Elliot and Unbound have an obsession with Kirsty and surely hope that she would join their ranks as a Cenobite.

But to me,I tend to see their relationship as a complex ambiguity; I imagine it as a sense of distance rather than a romantic interaction. Their conflicts would actually bring them closer together.

For Kirsty, the Hell Priest undoubtedly intervened in her life and indirectly destroyed her family. Even if it started because of someone else’s involvement, he still cast a huge shadow over Kirsty. In their contract relationship, the Hell Priest has let her go multiple times, and Elliot himself has said that Kirsty is his friend. Therefore, I believe they share a relationship that is both contradictory and beautiful!

The existence of their relationship is so enchanting, which is probably why so many people like it!

And thank you for the pictures you provided. I love your thoughts every time you share them; they truly inspire me!🥰❤️ ❤️

[chaifootsteps]

Stolas Project/Stolas rewrite anon again! Thank you so much - yes, I'll absolutely share my rewrite idea with you! Here it is:

Firstly, I think everything but the sexual abuse and childhood friends can be salvaged - the grimoire, Stella, Via, etc. A rewrite where Stolas TRULY did nothing wrong is just bland, after all. Especially as by 'tragic operatic figure', I mean characters such as the Phantom of the Opera, or Mr. Darcy. Those are men who are CERTAINLY not without fault.

In my mind, the best version of Stolas is an old man - an aloof, intimidating noble known for his personal army and his scientific brilliance. He's a bit mysterious; preferring to keep to himself and his studies. Gossip calls him 'the Hermit', 'the Astronomer', or 'the Scientist'. He loves to insert himself into mortal scientific debate, often being a 'spark of brilliance' in fellow eccentrics, or, more commonly, talent-less hacks that will only serve to spread misinformation and discourse. He's been playing the climate change game for years. NFTs were a joke made while drunk off his arse.

This would be how he's introduced - the frightening, eccentric general who keeps to himself and who rewrites the Truth based on his own hypothesis.

His isolation runs deeper than disinterest or scientific pursuit, though. Stolas is, in truth, a bleeding heart. Obviously, bleeding heart means something different for demons - he's still sadistic and likes sowing intellectual discourse, but there's a dignity to that in his eyes. The no-holds-barred, knives-out culture of his fellow nobles makes him deeply uncomfortable. Whilst he's prejudiced, the outright hostility towards imps makes his stomach churn. Science is easy because facts don't have feelings, but social gatherings do. Humans can't defame him in a way that matters.

Stolas has a reputation he's expected to uphold, and he feels as if playing socialite game or even appearing to the public at all will spell his doom. He just isn't confident in swaying the public as he is studying black holes or teaching Via how to command her father's army. He adores her, and he's terrified of what he may put her through if he makes a mistake.

This can partly be that, perhaps, Paimon is still Stolas's father and still far meaner than Stolas could ever hope to be. All the expectations of hell royalty - the cruelty, the meddling, the pleasure - all planted by his father. The rest of hell is presented as a frightening enemy, which encourages Stolas to sequester away. His army was passed down from his father, and he rarely uses it. This relationship could create a theme in children feeling unloved by their parents in Stolas that I'll elaborate on later with Via.

Combine all these aspects together, Stolas feels trapped. Trapped in his research, trapped in the bodies of tech bros and tiktok witches he peers through, trapped in his marriage, trapped by his father, trapped in his status. The shy rich scientist grows dissatisfied with expectations and with comfort. He craves freedom.

Stella isn't just an evil woman who exists to torment Stolas anymore. Their marriage IS arranged, and loveless. However I think they have a sort of Fredrick the Great and Catherine the Great dynamic - they don't have any love for eachother, but they don't want to make eachother miserable. Stella is sympathetic to his plight - she too is stern and aloof, but because she feels forced to to protect herself. She's the face of the family, and is used to playing defense. Being a woman in hell, more eyes are on her by default. Her life has been decided for her, and she has a role to play. For the sake of herself, for the sake of him, and for the sake of their daughter.

They would both do anything for Via. Via doesn't make them love eachother, but she makes them stay together to raise her. Via is aware of this, deep down, regardless of whether she catches her parents admitting it or not. Their lack of love, but persistent solidarity makes that palpable. Via grows up with the burden that stability rests on her, that love does not exist without her.

So Stolas and Stella agree - they don't have to like each-other, but they need to trust each-other for Via's sake. So long as they can be loyal, at least, they can go on and spend their lives doing their own thing. They won't interfere with eachother, won't demand anything of each other. They just need to be loyal to eachother. Stella never strays.

At first, neither does Stolas.

Blitzo trying to stealth into the party is their first meeting. Instead of taking him to his chambers to ""ravish"" him, Stolas is genuinely just looking to interrogate this most fascinating and audacious imp. Blitzo tries to seduce him, and Stolas actually rebukes the attempts. By the devil's footprints, he's a married man! What's wrong with this mongrel? The audacity! He smooths out his feathers, which have definitely only fluffed due to rage. On top of that, he catches on that Blitzo is trying to steal one of his tomes. This leads to a boiling point, and...

...The grimoire.

Rather than a plot device, the grimoire can be more symbolic to the give-and-take; the relative freedom they both feel in their relationship. I think there is real potential for exploring a forbidden gay yearning romance with real power imbalance at play, just without the rape shit. The grimoire could be a good representation of that, and its symbology relevant to their relationship can be based on how it's shared between them. I can see its relevance be handled several ways: a) A pact. Most like canon as far as I know. HOWEVER, there is no sexual favor coercion bullshit. it's strictly a business deal/typical devil pact. Blitzo's desperation and hubris have bungled his introduction to Stolas so badly that he's drawn the Hermit's attention. He can have his grimoire, but he must bring it back to Stolas and must consider himself as one of Stolas's legionnaires. While Blitzo can't really say no, having pissed off a demonic prince, it isn't for sexual coercion and neither consider themselves to have legitimate romantic or sexual feelings for eachother. That's a slowburn, stemming from Stolas's fascination for Blitzo's free spirit and Blitzo discovering Stolas's gentle, socially awkward science nerd side. Also creates a jumping board for episodes where IMP runs tasks for Stolas and it's more like watching a Batman episode from the perspective of Joker's goons.

b) A gift with strings attached. Instead of getting angry, Stolas becomes pitying of Blitzo. He offers the grimoire as a "kindness" (though with an air of condescension against imps that makes Blitzo uneasy) instead of a punishing pact, but still has Blitzo agree to bring the book back to him and to be willing to act as Stolas's dagger in the shadows should he demand it.

From there, their relationship becomes defined as an uneasy business truce. In my mind, Stolitz would work best as two people trying to seek freedom, potentially finding it in eachother, but their relationship is affected by the same metaphorical shackles they're trying to escape from - for Blitzo far more than Stolas. Even without any of the SA bullshit, Stolas still has a lot of power in this dynamic, even if he's well-meaning. But Stolas is a deeply repressed man, and Blitzo represents that running away, that freedom he's been looking for. But he's also a reminder of what he has to lose, should he give into temptation.

Stolas's kidnapping can be a turning point (instead of kidnapped by his wife and Striker, a character whose service to Stella butchers that character in his own right, perhaps he's kidnapped by a rival noble or by that weird mafia I know jackshit about), and in their business dealings they have lots of little moments of vulnerability that pile up. Stolas shows Blitzo his research as Blitzo is turning in a hit, Stolas starts helping Blitzo's business stay afloat in ways WITH no strings attached, etc. Look My Way happens during Stolas's moment of realization that he does have feelings for Blitzo, the audacious, free-spirited little imp that dared to steal from the Hermit.

I think we can keep his gag of terrifying, lust-filled speeches too - just have them be during moments of consent instead of unprompted sexual harassment. Stolas finally crumbles and begins admitting what he wants to do with Blitzo, and it snowballs into a rabid tirade that marks Blitzo down as scared and horny. It makes their confession and move into something like lovers exciting, intense, and silly, and it devolves into a night of passion. For a moment, they're both free.

But he experiences REAL consequences for his infidelity, with no 'oh poor baby Stolas' rigamarole. Stella is rightfully furious at him. The ONE thing they agreed to, and he couldn't even uphold that. She is devastated, and for once in her life is sided with. I don't think anyone besides her cares about the morality of cheating all that much, it's more-so about the tarnished status and the fact he couldn't even get away with it. Still, the family name is ruined and he loses MANY comforts in the divorce, including his daughter.

But more than that, his relationship with Via will never be the same. You can still have episodes where Via tries to bond with him, but Stolas committed (and by virtue of being with Blitzo, continues to commit) the sort of betrayal that never really gets healed by time. In her eyes, her father finally got sick of playing house and abandoned her for a new family that she never even met. She feels failed and replaced.

From there, you can have an arc of Stolas trying to adjust after the fallout of his infidelity, and can have Blitzo closing himself off from their messy intimacy (rather than trying to escape a sexually abusive relationship). Stuff like that.

That's my take on a better Stolas. Hope you enjoyed reading!

Holy hell, I was on the edge of my seat all throughout this! This was sublime.

Thank you for that five minute vacation to a better word.

[pastanest]

if you’re wondering why I’m having to repost this, or why you were perhaps previously following me but no longer are, please refer to this post. I was able to retrieve this thanks to the very lovely friends who have relentlessly sifted through tumblr archives to recover them, thank you all so much!! ♡

Draco x non-Slytherin she/her!reader

Respect Her, Or Get Hexed

Entering the great hall with the silver trio was something that, at first, caused every person in the room to fall into a shocked silence. The nervousness you felt then, the discomfort brought on by everyone looking at you, those are feelings you remember well. What you remember most, though, is the immediate relief you felt when Draco took ahold of your shaking hand, and looked down at you with a supportive smile. The memories of the past five months reflected in his eyes, how difficult it had been to keep your relationship a secret from everyone, even yours and Draco's closest friends. The Slytherin Prince, in a relationship with a girl from a different house? It was unheard of, and for that reason, the two of you wanted to be certain that whatever it was you had, was worth it. As a result, you tested your relationship, and kept it a secret for five months.

The stolen smiles you shared when in the same classes, secret arrangements to meet in secluded parts of the castle at certain times, the way your eyes would yearn for each other when you saw the other enter the great hall, that was what got you through those five months. The moments you had were fleeting, few and far between, until you could no longer take it, and you both decided that you were ready, you were strong enough to let the rest of Hogwarts see your biggest secret.

The first few times you entered the great hall together, it was absolutely terrifying, for both of you, though Draco would never admit that to anyone else. You started entering just the two of you, your hand clutching his as you avoided everyone's gazes and approached the Slytherin table, before nervously taking your seat beside Draco. Of course, you couldnt sit with Draco everyday, and you didnt, because you had friends in your own house who you also wanted to sit with, and you would never abandon them. Draco had to compromise as much as you did, and try his best to befriend your friends, the same way you did with his. Pansy was, as expected, the most difficult to befriend. Despite what you'd heard and seen of Blaise, Crabbe, and Goyle, you were surprised at how quickly they accepted you. Though, you have no doubt that Draco had 'persuaded' them somehow. Pansy, on the other hand, despised you at first, because of her (beyond obvious) crush on your boyfriend. It took time, but eventually, she came around, and, just as Draco predicted, his friends grew to love you, but nowhere as much as he did, he was always determined to clarify.

"Oh, look! It's the silver trio, and (Y/N)!" Crabbe pointed at the four of you as you casually strolled into the great hall, and over to the Slytherin table.

Goyle then preceded to laugh at the same joke Crabbe just told, which he would make every time you sat with them. For some reason, Crabbe and Goyle found it absolutely hilarious to address you as though you were the trio's plus one, and the extent of their hilarity always made you chuckle. It was true, though, in a sense, you were the trio's plus one, and you didnt mind them pointing that out. It's all in good fun, and you're not easily offended, after all.

Draco shot them the same glare he always did when they made an effort to jokingly exclude you from their Slytherin squad, while you just chuckled and sat down beside him, Blaise and Pansy following suit.

Blaise laughed and shook his head. "Crabbe, please, (Y/N) could beat both you AND Goyle in intelligence, courage, friendliness, and every aspect of Slytherin!"

Pansy snorted. “It's hardly a contest to beat Crabbe and Goyle in any area of life."

You couldnt help but laugh along with them. "Yeah, no offence guys, but at least give me a challenge!"

This seemed to amuse Crabbe and Goyle, and pretty soon, the whole group was laughing at your usual playful banter, everyone except Draco, who was sitting in silence, staring at the table with a blank expression. When you squeezed his hand under the table, he shook his head, as though he'd been deep in thought and you'd pulled him out of it, before he gave you a kind, and reassuring smile. Still, you were unconvinced, and continued to worry about how distant he had seemed from the group. Draco wasnt one to frequently lose himself to his thoughts or daydreams, unless he was looking at you in class, or if something was wrong with him, and considering he wasnt looking at you then, the only option was the latter.

For the rest of the day, you didnt see Draco at all, he seemed to have disappeared, along with Crabbe and Goyle, which was even weirder. It wasnt out of the ordinary for Draco to seek solitude for a little while, but he'd usually tell you before he planned to go off alone somewhere, and he hadnt disappeared with Crabbe and Goyle since second year. You searched the castle for hours, even staying up past curfew and bumping into Snape, who was going to give you a detention, until you explained why you were out of bed.

"Sir, I promise you, I wouldnt be out of bed without good reason. Have you seen Draco? I've been looking for him since dinner, I cant find him anywhere!" The urgency in your tone seemed to soften Snape ever so slightly, because he could hear the desperation in your voice, and he knew how deeply you cared for Draco.

Snape, like most teachers at Hogwarts, had recognised that you were one of the only people to genuinely care for Draco and his wellbeing. You didnt fear him, you never did, which was something that Snape picked up on in your first class with him, when he paired you up with Draco and everyone else released a sigh of relief at not being selected to work with Draco, while you smiled kindly at the platinum haired boy. Your persistence with Draco was something that even Snape admired, you'd laugh at Draco's attempts to make fun of you for whatever reasons he could think of, and continued to be kind and helpful to him in any and every way that you could. For you, it was second nature, and you have never understood why other people didnt treat Draco the same way, because soon enough, you wore Draco down. His attempts to push you away halted very suddenly, and instead, he began being kind to you, too. It seemed that your attitude towards him had caused him to develop a soft spot for you and you alone.

"Miss (Y/L/N), I am sure that Draco is perfectly fine, he was most likely caught up in something and you simply missed him when he was wandering the halls. However, I will be sure to check the Slytherin quarters to ease your nerves, so please, get some sleep." Snape reassured you, his voice unusually gentle, at least in regards to Snape.

You sighed with relief. "Thank you, Sir, I really appreciate it."

And with that, you walked yourself back to your house quarters, and went to bed. Even with Snape's reassurance, you found yourself tossing and turning in bed, unable to sleep. What had happened to Draco?

Your eyes flutter open, and you're immediately hit with a throbbing headache after barely sleeping last night. Sighing, you pull yourself out of bed, and begin getting ready for the day. You practically stumble into the great hall, your tiredness getting the better of you, and when you arent looking where you're going, you start to trip over your own feet. Bracing for impact, your eyes close, and you place your hands out in front of you, waiting for your body to make harsh contact with the floor. However, when you fall into a pair of arms that you immediately recognise, your breath catches in your throat. Staring up at him with wide eyes as he helps you back to your feet, you struggle to find the words to speak, and he beats you to it.

"Oh my Merlin (Y/N), you look exhausted! Were you reading until the early hours of the morning again?" Draco teases playfully, his concern over your tiredness still evident in his expression.

You shake your head in disbelief. "Where did you go after dinner yesterday? I was looking all over for you!"

Before Draco can answer, Snape saunters past the two of you, and stops dead in his tracks a few paces away from you, before turning on his heel and gliding back over to you.

"Mister Malfoy, please make an effort to inform your girlfriend the next time you choose to disappear, I dont want to find her searching the halls after curfew for the second time." Snape hisses, his voice low, and then he continues walking to the teacher's table.

Draco's eyes widen in alarm as his gaze shifts back to you. "You're exhausted because you were trying to find me?"

You nod at him. “In the six months we've been together, every time you've disappeared, you've told me beforehand, you havent gone with Crabbe and Goyle in years, and we've never missed saying goodnight to each other. I didnt know what was going on, I didnt know what else to do."

Draco quickly pulls you into his warm embrace. "I am so sorry, my darling. There was something I had to do, and I was so fixated on it that everything else slipped my mind, I didnt think for a second that you'd worry yourself to such an extent."

You sigh and nod into his chest. "I understand. What were you up to?"

Draco's answer is short, and completely unsurprising. "Threatening to hex Crabbe and Goyle."

You dont even try holding back the laughter rising in your throat. “What for this time?"

He pulls away from you slightly to read your face, and upon seeing your smile, he grins back at you and places a gentle kiss on your forehead. "I'll tell you later. For now, we need to focus on breakfast, because Im not having you collapse in class from exhaustion and lack of food."

You roll your eyes playfully as Draco takes ahold of your hand and leads you over to the Slytherin table. Once you sit down, Goyle nudges Crabbe, who looks up at the row of Pansy, Blaise, Draco, and you, who are all sitting opposite him. Crabbe clears his throat and laughs nervously.

"The silver trio!" He announces, and Goyle stays quiet.

You raise an eyebrow at their unusual behaviour, while Pansy and Blaise both roll their eyes, and Draco just smiles. What the hell was that about?

"Psst! Hey, (Y/N)!" Draco whispers from his desk, immediately forcing your attention away from the book that you, and the rest of your Defence Against The Dark Arts class, are supposed to be reading.

This is the only class you have with Draco today, so him urgently trying to grab your attention is nothing outside of what you expected. He'll take the most out of the little he can get, especially when it comes to moments with you.

Raising an eyebrow, you look over your shoulder at your boyfriend, and he smiles at you as he blows an animated origami bird in your direction.

A bright smile is accompanied by a delicate blush painting your cheeks, as the paper bird lands on your desk. Unravelling it, you find a note.

Care to accompany me to the astronomy tower at 9pm? It appears I have some explaining to do, and I'll use any excuse to spend more time with you. What do you say, princess?

Love,

Yours truly, the Slytherin Prince, the man, the myth, the legend - your boyfriend

You have to use your hand to cover your mouth and suppress a giggle from escaping as you read the way Draco ended his message to you. Glancing over your shoulder at him again, you nod, and he gives you a cheeky grin, followed by a flirtatious wink, before the two of you try to get your focus back on the books you’re reading.

Throwing your bed covers over the pillow you’ve placed on the centre of your mattress, you check the time. 8:58pm, perfect timing! Your usual trick of creating a fake “body” lying under your bed covers, to convince anyone who checks your room that you are in fact asleep in bed, is complete, and you are ready to go. Lifting your wand above your head, you close your eyes and focus hard, then flick your wand, and when you open your eyes again, you’re standing at the top of the stairs that lead to the Astronomy Tower. You smile to yourself, but your smile is quickly disturbed by the sound of Draco’s laughter behind you, which causes your entire body to jolt in surprise.

“Do you have any idea what a blow to my confidence it is that you can apparate flawlessly, before I’ve even begun to learn how to do the same?” Draco jokes playfully as he jogs up the stairs to meet you, and pull you into his arms.

You cant help but chuckle. “It was the first form of magic that I had a passion for learning, and it came in handy in regards to us sneaking about with our secret relationship, so I think you should be grateful!”

Draco smiles down at you, his arms wrapping around your waist. “I should be grateful that my girlfriend is the most amazing witch of our generation?”

You cover your face shyly. “I definitely wouldnt go as far as to say that!”

Draco chuckles and wraps his hands around your own, gently pulling them away from your face and holding them in his.

“I would certainly go as far as to say that, you’re incredible, (Y/N).” Draco coos as he leads you further into the Astronomy Tower, and over to the railing, the two of you staring out at the world, with his arms around your waist from behind.

“So, how long are you going to make me wait before you explain what’s going on?” You ask, trying to hide how desperately you want to know what happened last night.

Draco sighs. “I was hoping I could distract you from that, but I suppose I’ll have to admit the, partially embarrassing, truth.”

You raise an eyebrow and turn around in his arms. “What do you mean ‘partially embarrassing’?”

Draco shakes his head, an amused smile on his face. “The reason I threatened to hex Crabbe and Goyle last night, it’s rather embarrassing, because my affections for you were made blindingly obvious to them.”

You frown in confusion. “What?”

Draco sighs, staring down at the non-existent gap between your bodies. “It has always irked me that Crabbe makes the same stupid joke every morning, that him and Goyle find it so bloody funny to exclude you, and treat you like nothing more than my plus one at some sort of exclusive Slytherin arrangement. You are far from that, and so much more than that, especially to me. Although the name itself is a silly thing to begin with, you are as much of a part of the silver trio as the rest of us, and it bothers me to no end that Crabbe and Goyle couldnt get that through their thick skulls. You are the most important person in my life, and I will not stand for you to be addressed as any lesser than myself or my friends, when you are in fact better than all of us combined.”

Your cheeks flush pink as your heart beats faster inside your chest. “What did you do, Draco?”

Still avoiding your eyes, he glances to the side. “Yesterday, at dinner, when Blaise and Pansy stood up for you, that was the final straw for me. Not only should Crabbe and Goyle never exclude you, but I should be the one to defend you, and the fact that I was too busy being angry at them inside my own head to actually say something to stand up for you, affected me massively. The reason you couldnt find me after dinner is because I went searching for Crabbe and Goyle, before pulling them both into a room and threatening to hex them if they didnt start treating you with the upmost respect. I dont care whether it appears as nothing more than a joke to you, Pansy, and Blaise - I wont allow anyone to belittle you, and my friends are no exception to that.”

Tears prick your eyes. “Draco...you really didnt have to do that, it doesnt bother me at all.”

Draco shakes his head. “I know, it bothers me, and that’s why this is so embarrassing for me to admit. This was something that does not affect you in the slightest, something that you can laugh at because you see the humour in it, and if such a thing were aimed at anyone else, I could do the same, but because it’s you, Im incapable of doing that.” He takes a deep breath. “Im sorry for abandoning you last night, and for giving my pathetic excuse as to why I did that.”

Without thinking, you take Draco’s face in your hands and gently turn his head so that he’s looking at you.

“You, are utterly and absolutely the sweetest, most caring, most wonderful, most handsome, and most impossible person in existence, Draco Malfoy.” You tell him in a soft voice, before leaning up and capturing his lips with yours.

Draco falls into the kiss, his arms tightening around your waist, while you run your fingers through his platinum blonde hair.

He pulls away first, resting his forehead against yours as he catches his breath. “Does that mean that you arent angry at me for threatening to hex other students for disrespecting you?”

You laugh and shake your head at him. “What you did was absolutely ridiculous, and quite possibly the cutest thing you’ve ever done for me. There’s no way I could ever be mad at you, Draco.”

He beams down at you. “Does that mean that I can threaten to hex other people who disrespect you, without fear of you disowning me for it?”

You decide to play a little trick on Draco. “Well, actually, now you mention it, there is someone that comes to mind when you mention people who disrespect me...”

Instantly, Draco’s expression hardens, his eyes searching yours. “Give me a name and they’ll never look at you again.”

You bite the inside of your cheek, pretending to be nervous. “For the past few days, I’ve caught someone looking up my skirt whenever I’ve bent over...” You pause for dramatic affect “It was Potter.”

Draco’s whole demeanour transforms like the flick of a switch, his arms leave your waist and he storms over to the stairs, clutching his wand in his hand.

“He wont even get the chance to repent after a threat. By the time Im finished with him, he’ll wish the Dark Lord HAD killed him! No curse is forbidden when that twat comes into it.” Draco seethes as he reaches the top of the stairs.

You run over to him, laughing so hard there are tears rolling down your cheeks. “I was joking Draco, oh my Merlin! You should have seen the look on your face! Potter has never even glanced in my direction, and he may be an irritable prick, but he’s no creep. Draco, babe, you need to chill.”

Draco closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths. “Why would you tell me something like that, only for it to be untrue?”

Instead of replying or explaining yourself, you just giggle mischievously and start backing away from him.

Draco’s eyes very slowly open, and he smirks at you. “Oh, you are SO in for it!”

And with that, he starts chasing you around the Astronomy Tower, you squealing as he gets closer to you, before he wraps his arms around you and pulls you into him, tickling your sides and peppering your face in kisses.

“That may have been a cruel joke, but if I catch Potter so much as looking in your general direction, I will kill him.” Draco warns as he halts his tickling attack.

“Looks like I just outmatched the Slytherin Prince with my mischief!” You tease playfully, causing Draco to laugh.

“I think Im going to have to have words with the sorting hat, because after that, Im certain you’re a Slytherin. The Slytherin Princess, even! Actually, no, never mind.” Draco shakes his head dismissively.

You raise an eyebrow, pouting like a sulking child. “Why not?”

And in response, Draco just flashes that cheeky grin of his.

“I dont want a house to claim my princess as their own.”

[awakentheeldritchabomination]

First Random Writing Dump

CW: mentions of self harm and emotional abuse

As decreed by the poll, most of ya’ll seem fine with a little bit of word vomit, and since I have some time, I’m just gonna spew a bit of my thoughts on my version of Charlie so far. It won’t be much, just a jumbled list of rough ideas. I don’t know how set I am with these, but here goes:

- They may or may not be renamed

- They use they/them pronouns but don’t correct people who misgender them; they find gender to be an odd concept, and they can’t quite grasp why people care so much about it

- They know a lot about human history but have not personally interacted with many people beyond what is necessary (until later)

- Their capacity to empathize with the plight of humans comes from guilt, their mother, who is still going to be Lilith… maybe…., a horrific chance encounter, and their relationship with V (gotta pick a name for her lol)

- Still, growing up in a privileged position largely removed from the sinners’ reality while being surrounded by reminders that these people invited suffering through their own wickedness has given them this sense of innate superiority; they are semi-aware of the fact that their elitist mindset exists and is not…great…but they prefer to bury it under toxic positivity and pretend it’s not an issue

- They have been trained to fight (heaven and hell are still basically at war, after all), but they’ve never had a real battle, and they’ve certainly never killed anyone before; the weight of dealing death terrifies and paralyzes them

- They are aware of what they are, and they deeply fear what they are capable of

- They are not very well acquainted with their demonic form, and they’d rather not be; it’s often triggered by ugly feelings they don’t want to confront

- Yeah, they’ve got some things going on deep down. Beneath the sunshine and rainbows and genuinely good intentions, there’s this raw, wriggling darkness, gnawing on their insides like maggots; they don’t know why

- Spoilers: it’s the manipulation and emotional abuse Lucifer subjected them to as well as the resentment harbored against both parents for deciding to bring a child into a realm meant as an eternal torture chamber for evil people; they don’t consciously recognize the abuse they experienced because of strategic subtly, gaslighting, and isolation from other experiences. Both they and Lilith know something about Lucifer is off, and it creates this eerie, underlying fear that permeates every interaction, yet neither of them know how bad it actually is; Also Lilith likes to make excuses just like: “Oh, don’t be like that. He’s just doing whatever coz he loves you :)”

- Their warring sides will come to a head; the anger inside them will boil over, and they will be a terror

- Lucifer cuts them off after a falling out that occurs because of the hotel proposal; they will only be accepted back once they’ve “come to their senses”

- Charlie and Alastor have a weird relationship; they’ve got this yin-yang, mirrored image thing going on; they:

1. Are both biracial and are torn between different worlds

2. Have distanced themselves from one (their blackness. Yeah, Charlie is technically half black. But it’s a little more about their relation to the whole of humanity for them), but while one is actively trying to seek it out, the other has been conditioned to avoid it

3. Are performers (which will play a role in discussions of identity, y’know, what it means to perform an aspect of identity; what is whiteness vs blackness; queerness vs heteronormative ideals; how we generally define them and individually express them. But it’s also just “hey, we both like doing a thing. Oh, wow. Neat.”)

4. Have a volatile amount of anger that makes them violently lash out

5. Have strictly opposing yet similarly extreme moral principles

this will also be present in their designs (they have opposing coloration: blue vs red, white on black vs black on white, etc.); then there’s the wolf vs deer thing… I feel like I’d need a separate post to go through all that. I feel like this is already a lot lol

- They kinda feel conflicted about being friends with Al because he allows them to cut loose a bit and have fun, and they weirdly enough have a bit in common….but like…. dude ate people…..uhhhhhhh (does that make them a bad person if they like a literal murderer?), but then they think “I’m not supposed to judge. I’m supposed to help (and I’m totally fine….right….?). Meanwhile, V’s just like, “No, babe, please judge”

- They don’t like absolute silence, and they don’t like being alone; it allows their mind to wander into dangerous places; since Alastor is a literal radio that spits out music and static constantly, they sometimes just seek him out when their thoughts are too loud. Like, he just becomes a sentient noise machine for them basically

- Charlie’s got a habit of chewing on things when they’re nervous—pens, the inside of their cheek, their nails—coz dog (or….wolf….dragon….thingy); it’s usually harmless, but when they feel especially bad, they bite themselves (sometimes they bite the stuffing out of pillows as a substitute); when they start to more aggressively gnaw on their nails, V usually tries to guide their hand away

- They hide under the bed when they are feeling particularly miserable and anxious

There’s a lot more crap brewing, and I didn’t go into as much detail as I could have…. But I think that’s enough for maybe the week idk. If anyone’s at all curious, I might make another post about V or something.

Leave thoughts in the notes if you wanna!

[starsopinions]

Damsel is surprisingly good!

I am going to be honest with you, going into this film I was fully expecting a classic Netflix tween empowering movie. Let's just say I was pleasantly surprised!

SPOILERS AHEAD

Starting with the good! Firstly, I really enjoyed the femininity and girlhood aspect. This theme is woven through a lot of aspects of the film and it makes it feel well-rounded and shows multiple different examples of woman- and motherhood. It was shown through Elodie's birth mom dying, her relationship with her step-mom and obviously Elodie's connection to the previous victims. I really enjoyed how all the women/offers/victims helped each other indirectly. Victoria's messages helped Elodie get out alive even though she couldn't herself. (Victoria is the definition of a girls girl). Think about Elodie’s relationship with her sister Floria, marriage, The dragon's children being murdered and the dragon's reaction to that, Lady Bayford's relationship with Elodie and Floria and Elodie being sacrificed by her father.

Another thing I liked was Elodie’s dress. It obviously restricts movement and is a symbol of Elodie’s freedom and control, or lack thereof. That, however, isn’t the only thing it is used for. Throughout the movie, Elodie repeatedly uses her dress to survive. For example, She is saved by it when she jumps over the ravine and she uses the sleeve as a bag for the light worms. This shows that Elodie is being resourceful and smart by using all the available material. Besides that, it also shows that she isn’t giving up like she is expected to which is nice to see. It would have been so easy for her to conveniently find a bag in a cave somewhere and use that, or for her to simply be able to jump that far. Instead, the movie is clever and makes Elodie innovative which makes her more likeable and more deserving of survival. Additionally, it is also really cool to see all the different iterations of the dress as time goes on and it makes for an epic transformation.

And now, a speed round of parts I enjoyed: Prince Henry not having a redemption arc (he threw her in that cave without a second thought). The CGI looked amazing and the dragon was honestly terrifying. The costume- and set design both did an amazing job. Floria was adorable.

There are a few things that I would have done differently. Starting at the beginning, it feels a bit rushed. I would have liked to see Elodie’s people actually struggle, there was a lot of telling that they were poor but Elodie is married off before we actually get a chance to see it for ourselves. And while we're at it, although I liked the bond and dynamics between Elodie/Floria, Elodie/Lady Bayford (her stepmother) and Elodie/Lord Bayford (her father) they should have spent more time exploring their relationships. Especially Elodie and her father's bond should have been stronger, right now we only get a few scenes of them together, so imagine how much harder his betrayal would have hit if we were shown how close they really were. That is not to say that it is bad right now, but it is definitely something that could be improved upon.

Another aspect I would have liked to see more of is the colonizer plot which is implied but not developed further. It is mentioned briefly that the people of the kingdom Aurea invaded the land and tried to slay the dragon and her children. It could have been delved into more by showing another flashback, for example. It also would have been cool if that was also one of the reasons the dragon was upset. For me, the dragon's redemption arc isn’t really a redemption at all but more of a 180°. I think the dragon getting tricked is a good plot point but the dragon was EVIL before (taunting and playing with her victims) and it could have been dragged out a bit more in my opinion. It is also quite weird to me that the dragon goes with Elodie at the end. You would think that the dragon wants her land back and with the kingdom gone, she can have it back. It is also weird to me that Elodie would want the dragon to go with her because although it is obvious that the dragon isn’t the actual evil in this scenario. She still tried to kill you, your sister and she actually did kill your father. So overall it would make more sense to me if the dragon stayed behind to claim her own land back or they should have more scenes where the dragon comes around and isn't evil anymore.

The last thing I want to complain about is the set-up for Elodie being sacrificed. There were some great starts on that. Queen Isabella getting Elodie’s name wrong, The girl on the balcony, the creepy masks. Those are all great beginnings but I want it to be WAY more suspicious and weird. I liked how Lady Bayford stormed in and tried to stop Elodie from marrying Prince Henry but I wish it came from a more creepy place, right now she just thinks he isn't right for her. Maybe she heard people on the market talk about a ritual, or maybe she talked with the family of the other girl who was sacrificed, that kind of thing would be an amazing set-up. I don’t think it was bad how it was but it just could have been better.

Overall, I feel like I have been very negative in this review but that is not my intention at all. I actually really enjoyed the movie. It obviously isn’t a cinematic masterpiece but I don’t think they intended it to be. It had potential to be even better but I honestly think they did a fantastic job.

This is my first time writing a review without watching or reading anybody else’s opinions, so I am completely in the dark about what the general opinion is. My prediction is that it is written off as a classic tween movie just because it has a “girl boss” female lead when in reality it is so much more than that and I had such a good time watching! Would 100% recommend!!

Obviously, these are my opinions! If you feel differently, then that is 100% okay and you are always free to share your thoughts!

Thank you for reading all the way to the end (I would be eternally grateful if you liked/reblogged) <3

Until next time,

Star ☆

[calipsan]

Okay Essay Coming:

I think one of the most central theses of Vampire Chronicles is that people (or vampires) destroy what the want in the (often selfish) pursuit of that desire. In IWTV, Lestat makes Louis because he wants companionship. Louis tells us that it’s because of his house and money, BUT from later context it’s clear that Lestat falls in love with Louis. Mortal Louis also falls in love with the IDEA of Lestat, and says that meeting him was the most significant moment of his mortal life. However, that infatuation pales in comparison to the world that is opened to him when he becomes a vampire. So, in turning Louis, Lestat destroys the love and fascination Louis had for Lestat in the first place.

Then we have Claudia who Lestat makes to keep Louis with him, to make them a family, and honestly this works out pretty well, but eventually Claudia’s hatred for Lestat leads to the family being destroyed. Again, what Lestat sought (family and companionship) was destroyed by the very person he made to accomplish that. 

Then we have Armand first persuading Louis with the mind gift to turn Madeleine and then killing Claudia in order to bring Louis to him because he loves him. Those acts push Louis further from him and destroy the passion Louis had. Armand loves the mortal aspect of Louis; Louis claims that dies when he makes Madeleine, and then Armand is unable to reawaken Louis’ passion and love even after they’re together for many, many years becauase he states that died with Claudia.

Finally at the end of the story, Louis hopes to have convinced Daniel about the evil nature of vampires but instead all he has done is make Daniel want to be a vampire. Daniel believes that if he were to become a vampire he could make it all work out. We’re led to believe, and indeed, it comes true, that Daniel would not be able to be happy as a vampire just as Louis isn’t happy. 

In TotBT, Lestat loves David, wants to make him a vampire, but David denies him. When Lestat becomes a mortal man, he wants to have sex with David, but David still denies him, saying that going to bed with Lestat mortal body would bring back too many painful memories of his own youth. Once Lestat turns David into a vampire, once he finally gets his wish, he finds that David is no longer the man he loved. The very act of turning him into a vampire makes him different. And though David says that he did in fact want Lestat to turn him and was glad that Lestat forced him so that the decision was taken out of his hands, Lestat still does not seem happy with David. He doesn’t like the fact that David is powerful and would challenge his authority in Rue Royale.

We have Gretchen who loves Lestat in part because of his unusual demeanor. He tells her all about himself and she seems to believe him and accept him. Then when he returns to her in his true vampire shape, she is terrified and pushes him away. 

This theme also comes up in Blood and Gold. In pursuing Pandora, Marius pushes away Bianca, the person with whom he’d had an admittedly happier relationship. Then, because of his grief over her leaving, he misses the letter that Pandora left for him which could have brought them back together for good. 

I haven’t reread the rest of the books so I can’t think of all the details of them, but of course we have Gabrielle and Claudia, both made by Lestat because he loves them, and he loses them both. We have Armand turning Daniel and that changing their relationship.

This message, I think, is that when we seek something blindly, we will often destroy our chance of ever reaching it, and when we are looking in on a life we think we want, once we have that life it will never be what we expected.

[yanderes-galore]

ok, i gotta say, i LOVE your writing! especially your FNAF Fluffy AU! understandable if you don't want to do this request (writing is hard, i've been there before) so i hope you don't mind, can you do a romantical prompt that of yandere Fluffy!Funtime Freddy x Fluffy!bear darling? you can either make it long or short, doesn't matter. whatever suits you man :3

(Fluffy!bear darling, if you didn't understand it, it's if Darling was also an experiment that actually succeeded while Funtime Freddy is somewhat a success. still new to your blog)

He's feeling romantical....

Yes! Gorey Fluffy AU time! I'd love to do this! I had to make a time line for when the experiments were created to help me with this so this is what I came up with;

Goldens (Rot to become Golden Freddy and Springtrap) -> Originals (Rot to become Withereds) -> Toys -> Funtimes -> Rockstars -> Glamrocks

Darling was most likely made sometime between Funtimes and Rockstars, maybe? Up to you!

Here's Fluffy AU! Funtime Freddy's Origin Fic (Gore warning)

Description of Fluffy AU! Funtime Freddy (Gore warning)

Yandere! Fluffy AU! Funtime Freddy with Bear! Darling

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, GORE WARNING, Obsession, Manipulation, Biting, Violence, Blood, Forced relationship, Scenting, Possessive behavior, Sadism, Blood drinking, Grotesque descriptions, He kinda wants to eat you.

Funtime Freddy's creation was an attempt to make a new variation of experiments.

There were only two Funtime variants and they both didn't come out quite right.

Freddy was by far the worst of the two, the other being Foxy.

They were copies of previous Freddy and Foxy designs but mutated on purpose, Afton probably got some sort of twisted inspiration by the rotted forms of the previous experiments and mutated them on purpose.

As a result he got a sadistic bear and narcissistic fox, both white and pink.

The most interesting characteristic was the stitched together aspect of their flesh.

In various places on both animatronics it looked like the flesh opened up.

Freddy was even given the ability to open the stomach "flap"... which made his organs visible and seemed to serve as a storage method based on his behavior.

The issue was Freddy was violent, often taking sadistic pleasure in harming employees and seeing hallucinations.

As a result he was given a Bonnie plush named Bon Bon, which pacified the large beast.

You were an experiment that came after.

A successful one who managed not to rot!

You were made to be another bear, your design remaining rather basic.

Your build was similar to the original Freddy, regardless of your gender.

You have your own traits, of course.

Your color is different, your outfit is different, Freddy was simply used as a base.

You were one of the best experiments created, capable of speech and learning like that of a human.

Your fur was incredibly fluffy and you were given near free reign of your surroundings.

Disaster only strikes when you meet the problematic Funtime.

Freddy was surprised when he saw you.

The large bear was not aware they were already prototyping new experiments.

You were such an attractive one....

As the experiments have animal-like characteristics, Freddy probably sees you something akin to a mate?

He loves your scent... it's so sweet!

You smell just like a cupcake...!

This is why Freddy calls you "Cupcake" when he sees you.

Another nickname is "Teddy Bear" based on the fluffiness of your fur.

Let's be honest... Freddy is terrifying to you.

He's a freak of nature, a bloody mistake that should've been culled.

The scientists who made you tell you not to look at him in his "enclosure".

The grotesque bear calls out to you despite you ignoring him, unfortunately.

He may not know your name but he prefers to call you by your nicknames anyways.

It's hard to tell if Freddy was a success or a failure.

He's somewhat in-between.

Freddy stares at you whenever you get closed to his holding area.

He can't get close to you no matter how much he claws at the walls.

Freddy wants to be closer to you...

He wants to touch your fur, to smell your scent...

He wants to taste your blood... and bite your flesh....

The scientists try to make sure you never meet him face to face.

They fear for your safety...

Nothing good can happen if he keeps looking at you with bloody drool dripping down his face.

Freddy often talks to Bon Bon, whom he believes is alive.

It's learned from this that Freddy has unsafe intentions with you.

Which is why they keep you two apart, preferring to keep you with the successful experiments... not the failures.

Your life is pretty good, you like your caretakers.

Then life all goes to hell once Golden Freddy awakens.

When the facility reaches its downfall, the rot spreads.

Failed experiments mingle with successful ones and you try your best to part from it all.

This facility used to be home... now it's chaos.

You fear the idea of leaving it but you can't stay here.

So thoughts of escape course through your mind.

For the most part you can survive well, until you meet Freddy again....

The beast is out of his cage... and ready to play.

The moment he catches the chase is on.

Freddy's excited!

Finally! He's been looking for his Cupcake!

He just wants to squeeze you like a big teddy bear!

Freddy is a large bear.

He's stronger and a bit taller.

Being chased by him is terrifying.

When he catches up he slams his body into you, pushing and pinning you to the ground.

Looking into his eyes makes your stomach fill with dread.

They're bloodshot, deranged.

His claws dig into your skin, blood dripping down your fur.

"There's my Cupcake!" His voice is grating on the ears. "You've been ignoring me! How rude! Can't you see we're meant to be?"

His nose flares at the scent of your blood, quickly making him duck down to lap at the blood.

He's right... it is sweet.

Which would explain why he decides to take a large bite of your flesh, teeth digging into you and eliciting a pained roar from you.

Freddy likes your taste, your smell, your warmth....

He wishes he could just crawl inside and stay there.

There's no use in prying him off, his strength holds you down even when you kick and bite.

In fact, he encourages you to hurt him!

The more blood the better!

Freddy does a weird combination of affection and violence.

He bites and licks your wounds.

He nuzzles into your fur but claws your skin....

It's like his way of claiming you as his own.

He licks your nose playfully, all while nipping at you.

His maw is covered in your blood and your covered in his due to your fighting.

He takes pleasure in this... you fear this.

Once Freddy has you he doesn't plan on letting you go.

Clearly you were meant for him!

You wee made for him.

You're both bears... and he claims you as his.

Your thoughts of escape quickly dwindle...

The smell of blood is overwhelming to you.

The longer he keeps you under him, struggling and bleeding...

The more you realize you may die here... or worse.

[theflyindutchwoman]

Given recent discussions in the fandom and because I’m curious to hear others’ opinion… would you want to see a Chenford breakup next season?

All right, let me start with my usual disclaimer : this is only my opinion and it has no more (or less) value than anyone else's. And this isn't meant as a personal attack either, regardless of which side of the equation you're in. I actually enjoyed reading other people's takes on this, particularly the ones who want a breakup, to see their perspective on the subject. It was truly interesting (no sarcasm).

To answer your question, dear Anon, no, I don't want a breakup. Mainly because I feel that so many shows go there, so I'm more interested in seeing Tim and Lucy navigate the ups and downs together.

One thing that attracted me to their relationship was their ability to talk to each other about everything and anything. How, despite their differences and their rocky start, they could always confide in each other… Be extremely vulnerable. And that is what I would love to see going forward. How this shorthand they've developed by working together can translate into their personal relationship. Don't get me wrong, just because they are usually good at communicating doesn't mean that it is perfect. It's not. Even before they became a couple. There are some cracks that became more and more visible as the season progressed. The theme of 'honesty' was their main thread in 5b. The storylines involving Sava & Jake or Isabel served to highlight that aspect. To emphasise how lies, deceit and miscommunication can destroy a relationship. Now it could be used as a foreshadowing… Or it could be used as a warning. Tim and Lucy already have a much stronger relationship, so I choose to believe that this could be a learning experience for them. Learn from other people's mistakes, learn from your past (in Tim's case).

Right now, those moments of dishonesty revolves around one common theme : work. Tim taking a desk job without consulting Lucy first… Lucy doing the five-player trade behind his back… Him trying to lie at first that he wasn't bored out of his mind… Her not saying anything about Primm (as far as we know)… Him not wanting to open up about his fears regarding undercover…  Those are starting to pile up and they're going to need to address it. The sooner, the better. Particularly the undercover talk. This has been a long time coming. It's clear that Tim is terrified but doesn't want to burden Lucy with this. And she can sense it. That last scene in 5.21 was (for me) a step in the right direction where they started voicing their concerns. It's nowhere near sufficient. But they stopped avoiding that topic altogether. Like I said, they can be great at communicating… But they can also be their own worst enemies. They're both selfless when it comes to the other… they're both used to do things a certain way. And now, they need to learn how to do these things together. To talk about these moments that may seem insignificant to them but isn't to the other. To stop making decisions for the other. This is quite new to them : as we've seen in the past, they didn't truly open up to their boyfriends/girlfriends. That's something they are going to have to learn together. And that's okay : this is part of the journey of being in a relationship.

Another reason why I don't want to see that is related to the characters' growth. The thing is, I actually could picture Tim breaking up with Lucy because there is a pattern here. If he got it into his head that he is holding Lucy back, an idea already planted by Noah in 5.16, then yes, it wouldn't be out of character for him to break up, thinking it's the right thing to do for Lucy. Which is not that dissimilar to what he did in 5.02 : sure, they weren't together, but it still felt like a separation. Especially since the end of that scene mirrored so well another one from 1.12… when he decided to divorce Isabel. And if you remember, that was pretty much for that very same reason : he was afraid that being with him would only remind her of her time as an addict and bring her down. So he did what he thought would help her the most and decided to divorce her. So breaking that pattern would be a tremendous character development for Tim (in my opinion). Then, there's the fact that this is something they knew would be coming up at some point. This isn't a new obstacle. The episode before they got together had Lucy go undercover. And Tim, even more so than her, knew what he was getting into when he told her that it was worth the risk. He may not have explicitly said it but the implication that she was worth fighting for was right there. So breaking up for something that they could foresee kind of negates those words. And it would play right into Lucy's insecurities. She was so hesitant because she didn't want to lose what they have. She is finally letting go of the fears that prevented her before from fully committing to a relationship… Her certainty in them is absolutely amazing. So breaking up now would hurt her so much. (I focused mostly on Tim here because I struggle to see a reason for Lucy to break up. At least, not if this is related to her career, be it undercover work or her promotion).

Now, that's not to say that it can't be executed in a beautiful way. Sometimes breaking up can help strengthen a relationship, as odd as it might seem. Sometimes it gets too much and taking a step back can offer a new perspective and a fresh start on healthier grounds. Just like sticking in a relationship at all costs can be very damaging and toxic. I mean, take a look at Lucy and Tim in their last respective relationships… They stayed well past the expiration date. But I, personally, would rather see them work this out together. See them 'fight' and argue, like they've done in the past… that very same thing they didn't do with Ashley and Chris. See them all vulnerable with each other, like they've also done in the past. I honestly think the writers could pull off the angst and drama with this storyline, without having to resort to a breakup. But again, that's only my preference :)