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bogosbintedthealien · 2 years ago

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Why Did I Have To Reincarnate As The Yandere Capture Target!?

Okay, I have this story made up 2 years ago and it never really went anywhere. I guess I’ve been having a bit of a crisis when it comes to creativity for the last 2 years.

Anyway I kept going back and forth so fucking much on this wip if I was gonna scarp it or not. I don't like the gen story idea anymore but I REALLY love how I outlined the childhood arc so I though I might as well dump that shit here and be done w/ this damn thing. Not gonna bother saving the basic outline plot or save the first two chapters that were actually posted nor the wip of ch3 & 4.

:CHARACTER INFO:

He’s the ‘yandere’ one. Anyway MC is the typical ‘normal guy’, college age maybe. Has a younger sister in HS. They’re both otakus or something. She got him into otome games. (He was already into romance novels so it was easy for him to get into them.) Develops malusdomesticaphobia after death. Forever internally screaming. Unsure how to act most of the time so he just stands behind powerful/influential ppl.

OG yandere was abused or had bad stuff happen to him. Gave him a twisted view of things. Outwardly appears very docile and soft but when the Protag shows him kindness and blah blah he quickly becomes obsessed bc it’s been a long time since someone has/no one really treats him like that/like they’re equals. Uses his rep as a wall flower weakling to get his way and take out ppl (like will pit capture targets against each other so he can have Protag all to himself.)

There is a prince character. He’s the 2nd prince. I like the idea of him being the younger one or the less important one. Maybe that can even cause more plot. Yes MC has the favor of the prince, but this is the 2nd prince and is not favored by his father, the king.

The protag girl who’s just a little doll. A bby who needs to be protected. A smile worth fighting for. For wars to break out and ppl to—you get the point. Stereotypical yes, but you need to keep in mind she’s a blank slate, so this is what it defaults on based off of marketing. Daughter of a Baron. Looks plain but still very cute w/ doe eyes.

The villainess is the second child to a powerful noble family (Marquess) and younger sister to one of the possible capture targets. Family sees her as a tool, not a person outside of the brother. Puts on a strong front that can only be seen through by the brother.

The villainess’s older brother is the only person in her family who treats them with genuine affection as they are a siscon. The older brother type character. Charismatic but laid back.

Plot twist due to MC’s meddling: was not aware of the abuse sister suffered due to being away at academy with the crown prince, simply thought it was tough love.

A cute short boy character. Probably has the plot twist of being a little shit. Like, maybe he hates women but pretends to be a ladies man. Or he has a group of boys following him that do his bidding and he bullies ppl w/ them. MC meets him early on and leaves a powerful impression on him. So later in the timeskip this character is still the same, more or less; but has that added layer of following the MC around to try and get his attention. Not really a crush, but that weird anime admiration thing.

Smart nerd character. He can be the commoner who gets into the school via smarts and/or powerful magic ability. He’s the one standoffish character who stays quiet. Turns out he harbors a haten of aristocats and is planning to summon some sealed monster under the school or the city near the school. He has the surprising routes where he kinda corners the Protag to help with this stuff. This is the MC's biggest concern bc he knows this guy is planning to harm a lot of people and doesn’t really know how to find him ‘cuz he’s a commoner from a big city.

:OUTLINE:

Bio dad and uncle are twins. Dad is the younger twin. Is kidnapped when 4-5 and kidnappers demand ransom. During that time commoners mob the place and kill everyone. (Turns out some of the butlers and/or maids are apart of the slave trade and the ppl assumed everyone in the house was associated with it as well.) Uncle rescues him and adopts him but doesn’t tell his wife or anyone that this is his nephew, not his bastard son. Claims he is that bc during the period between his brother’s easter being ransacked to finding him. It’s revealed a chef of his brother’s house escaped but was later found and lynched by the ppl.

The wife is angered by the child and completely ignores him and in turn so does her servants (which are half of the workers) The staff loyal to the Uncle just do the bare minimum for him. This is about a 5-6 month period. He is barely taken care of unless his uncle was around (Uncle’s servants and very fond of their master so they’re so shocked by this ‘bastard child’ that appeared out of nowhere, they think his mother must’ve been a provocative whore or smth bc the Uncle is so nice and caring about his family.)

This is where he learns how to appeal and get sympathy from staff/commoners. Bc he can’t take it anymore after a few months and starts begging for things or to be taken care of. A few of the Aunt’s staff pity him a little and throw him a bone while looking the other way, while the Uncle’s staff will act a little nicer and give him some extra stuff. (During this time he doesn’t really interact with his cousins [two boys, one girl] bc the staff aways rush them away from him since the mother forbids him from interacting with her kids.)

Around this time the Aunt blows up on the Uncle about this and the Uncle breaks under pressure and tells her the truth. She had mixed feelings about this. After this she starts acknowledging him but only takes care of him on the sake of her duty.

She ‘warms’ up to him when she overhears him having an intelligent conversation with the staff or they talk about a concept too advanced for his age. OR he reads some complex book she or her husband left out.

She’s shocked bc she just assumed him to be a country bumpkin, but realizes he knows how to read and write and is a genius for his age. So she takes advantage of this. Bc of the fact word gets out her husband cheated on her and has taken in his bastard child, her reputation has taken a hit in the social circles and there has been some nasty gossip about her being spread as a result. So she has lost face bc of him and takes her anger out on him by ignoring him and treating him coldly. So she turns this around by giving him a chance. Dumps a bunch of classes on him and gives him high expectations to live up to.

And for the most part he does, and he gets treated nicer as a result. She gets impressed, but he still walks on eggshells bc he’ll get punished for things his cousins won’t. And in general held to a higher standard.

She takes advantage of this by treating him like a son when out in public and receiving all these compliments about how well mannered and obedient he is, how smart, blah blah. So ppl are like, oh she must be a good teacher, he’s so well taught. And ppl say things like how generous and nice she is to take in her husband's bastard son of unknown origins like he was her own and blah blah. Which makes up for the lost rep she got before when he initially came to the house. This turns into a thing of her flaunting him and he’s just a prop for her. He realizes this but doesn’t do anything about it bc this is a good exchange for him. She gets to use him to boost her image and raise her rep in social circles and he gets a better disposition in the house and gets treated much better. He’s allowed to interact with his cousins now.

Eventually she gets invited by a lady who lives in the royal castle/is allowed access there who’s a very high ranking lady who she’s friends with. She’s like ‘hey, come to the castle, bring ALL of your children, even that one.’ For like playdates with her kids (also wants to see her friend’s kids). So Aunt brings all of them there and this is how the MC meets the 2nd prince.

The 2nd prince gets along well with his older brother, but when he hits 15, he gets sent away for more proper education since he’s the heir to the throne. So he’s sad his brother isn’t around anymore and that they’re no one to play with him. His sister’s an infant so the staff are like ‘prince plz, you can’t play w her she’s too little’. He wants to play like swords or chess but a baby can’t do that. He moops around in the castle and meets the MC.

Now the MC isn’t playing with the other children bc when his cousins tried to have him included in games with the other kids in the castle, those kids didn’t want to play with him bc of what their parents told them. (after a couple of times) This keeps happening that his cousins hesitate to add him in and eventually just tell him they can’t bc the kids of higher families didn’t want him there and even at this age they know they can’t do anything about that. (His cousins get along with him at this point and like but and are sad they can’t include him but the situation calls for it and they can’t do anything about it.) So he’s just moping and talking to some of the staff and bonding with them.

The prince isn’t playing with the other kids bc even as a kid he can tell most noble children are being fake nice to him and are just wanting to shake hands. He doesn’t know why they’re doing this, but he can’t tell they are trying real hard to be chummy with him and it’s forced. (you know, how like little kids can even tell when an adult is being fake nice?)

When he meets the MC, the MC doesn’t know that this is the prince bc so many noble children have blond hair. (It’s common in this place, for nobles at least.) So to him, he’s just another blond, lilac eyed boy. The princes ends up liking him bc he’s A-quiet and reserved B-smart and likes playing chess or smth C-doesn't have that fake nicety that the other children give off & isn’t super eager to please him. So he’s like ‘oh, you’re like a normal person, let's play.’ That how they initially become friends and bond and like on his 6th visit with the prince, he either A-has a patch over his check and when MC asks about it the prince tells him what happened and it makes the way the in-game prince got his cheek scar and it hits the MC then who he’s talking too. (It was never said in the game how old he got the scar, only how.)

OR B-MC is called into a waiting room by some workers and leads him into a room with guards on standby. He’s wondering just who the heck his buddy is the kid of to get this treatment. As he sits across from him he realizes the prince has a bandage over his ear. When he asks what happened, the prince whines about almost being assassinated and the tip of his ears was cut off in the struggle. It’s then the MC realizes this is the prince bc he has the tip of his left/right ear cut off and hides his ears with his hair bc of it. The guards in and out of the room is bc his parents are on high alarm rn and they have to play in a closed room. It’s only him and MC bc the prince whined and wanted his ‘rabbit friend’ to play with. (MC is like, ‘oh lucky me, I managed to befriend the prince w/o knowing/trying’.)

Anyway, around this point the Aunt just straight up says, ‘I do not love you, but I do respect you.’ And the MC just comes to terms with this bc he just realizes that she’s just never going to be that person for him. And he’s like ‘That’s okay.’ He gets along very well w/ his Uncle and cousins and it feels like a family again to him. He just has a ‘you scratch my back, I scratch yours’ relationship. He doesn’t love her, but understands her. (He is surprised when he gets older like, he knows before his 11 birthday, he’s supposed to be nearly killed by something his Aunt pulled, it’s revealed she did it and was taken away, putting the Yandere strains on the rest of the manor. Alas that never comes to pass and this happens instead, surprising him. Making him realize she’s being very honest, and in her own way, this is the kindest she’ll ever be to him.)

As for the cousins, they’re just innocent little kids, they just think he’s their half brother and accept him. The girl is the youngest, she’s the spoiled little princess bc she’s the only girl and the youngest so she’s mommy’s favorite. The middle child is a boy and the closest to the MC. He’s the quieter, shyer one who's nerdier. Him and the MC are gonna have the same book series as their fav, some type of mystery novels for kids. They eagerly await every release and bond over that. The oldest is going to be the more playful, energetic, and wants to fight sword type of boy. They all like MC and he loves them like cousins and thinks of them as such.

His Uncle is a sweet family man or at the very least loves his family. He really loved his brother and when he inherited the title, he made sure to pull strings to get his younger brother a title and some land. The Father got the title of baron bc of him. Instead of becoming a knight or butler to another noble house. He’s crestfallen when his brother and sister-in-law dies so when he finds out his nephew is still alive, he’s overjoyed and loves him. (As a strange way of grieving.)

Around 12-13ish his Uncle and Aunt are like ‘hey we got new information about your real parents. We’re trying to keep this under wraps but, there are a trusted few who know the truth as well.’ The MC already knows what they mean bc of the game. So before they tell him it or the whole truth, smth happens and his new family dies.

At this point, he’s already good friends with the prince. Their relationship is him being a spineless pale and the prince treating him like a bunny. Like, not really acknowledging his agency. Kinda brushing him aside like a pet and dragging him to things w/o considering his feelings a lot. As far as the prince is concerned, they're close. The MC is just there bc being friends with the prince gives him a shield and ways to get more connections. So he can’t really do anything about this sort of treatment he gets. The prince isn’t being malicious just that he’s been given everything he wants so he doesn’t stop to think about the other party.

So when MC’s 3rd family is wiped out, the prince goes up to his parents and is like, ‘hey can you do smth about my friend? He’s an orphan again, I don’t want him to get sent to the Church, I’ll never see him again!’ The king and queen are like ‘ok’ and that’s how the MC gets into the house of the Villainess and Siscon capture target. Their parents are like MC’s Aunt but way worse. So in the OG game they got their daughter engaged to the 2nd prince by orchestrating an accident to happen while she was somewhere with the prince. She ends up w/ a few inch long cut on her forearm, the family uses that as leverage for them to get engaged since their daughter is ‘unmarriageable’ now. So they see him as an opportunity to get more favors from the crown. Not only are they initially reimbursed for taking him in but… So, basically they bring him to a business party, and him not knowing who these ppl are talk to some ppl are when it is revealed that he’s who he is, the couple are repulsed by the family sponsoring a bastard of unknown origins. So they cut off business ties with them. They use this as a way to complain to the crown that taking him in causes them to lose on a partnership that went back generations. (This business partner is in on this bc they get like, idk exclusive rights to some mines for whatever. But they still do business through a shell company.) And that's how they worm their way in to wed off their daughter. MC is completely caught off guard with this when he thought he was already on guard. This just further convinces him not to try and make connections here. Being outside is his solace.

The last thing to note is that the prince only starts respecting him and treating the MC more like a proper friend when they're a little older (like, about to go into the academy age). The MC sticks up for himself and grows a spine which surprised the prince bc up until this point he had always been obedient, timid, and mild. The pushback he gets from it kinda bitchslaps him in the face and he is like ‘Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t- I apologize for that. Blah blah blah.’ He doesn’t do a complete 180* right then and there. But it kinda wakes him up a little bit. Like ‘Oh, I’ve been treating you like you’re my dog and you’re not. You’re more important to me than that. I don’t want to lose you. I’m sorry about that, I’ll change my behavior towards you.’ This is when their friendship turns into a bromance. He treats the MC more like an equal, with respect.

The main reason why I stopped myself from scaping this many times before is bc I really ended up liking how I characterized the aunt.

Anyway, a few details I though I should throw in here. I had planned for the ppl crushing on MC as the heroine, villainess, commoner guy, and npc/mob #1 (male) & 2 (female).

The npc/mob friends where gonna be his respite from the colorful cast of main characters. I would've written it where you couldn't tell who end game was for awhile bc he had soft moments w/ all of them.

Expect villainess who he see as a sister even tho she don't. Her and Heroine would later lost interest in MC and kiss each other instead. (fluffy sapphics!!!).

He'd get commoner guy to back down eventually or whatever and it was a really question of which mob friend he'd end up w/. Male friend was the answer!

#textpost #text post #otome isekai #my writing #writing #scrapped #original story

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sonia-kate · 2 years ago

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Me, throwing out all the theories about "Racules' real deal" I had as for now, because after latest episode everything changed and a new theory emerged

So just like every week

Shogods, I love this show and especially I love Racules

This time, we had more Hastie brothers as kids. We learned that Gira's idea about what a king should be, that he expressed from the very first episode, was what his older brother told him back in the day. That's so adorable, yet Racules called it just a child's fantasy, with his voice breaking

It feels to me, like Racules used to believe all that but a "crash with the reality" happened that made him the way he is now. Something that disencouraged him from chasing that dream, that made him bitter and ruthless. That "world is cruel so I too must be cruel to face it"? Or "people use each other so I should use them before they use me"?

Could it all lead back to Wrath of God? Or maybe Racules used to be a benevolent ruler until something happened at the end of his spin-off? Although, his deal with Kaguragi was made 15 years ago so I guess it would be the former but the spin-off will either drag it to the surface for the audience to see or just add another layer to it

There us also yet another part worth to mention. It's how after Gira gave his typical Evil King speech, Racules called him a monster. What's worth to note, that at the end of their duel, back in episode 8, when Gira was hugging now detransformed Gerojim, Racules said that he knew that Gira was the enemy of the people and was working with Bugnarok. Now, both of those were caught on camera so there's no telling how genuine those statements are or whether they're just PR. But if Racules was genuinely convinced that Gira's very being is a threat to the world, that would explain why he was so determinated to have him killed during early episodes

Of course, we need to acknowledge that Kaguragi, with his sister's help, slayed in this episode. Ironic, Racules kept Suzume to have a leverage on Kaguragi, but in the end it was what allowed Kaguragi to strip him of his power insert Palpatine saying "Ironic" gif

That being said, yet another ship for Racules goes down. First Kaguragi and Racules don't scheme together because "they are like that" but because Suzume is involved. Then, it's revealed that Racules never felt bad about killing Vedalia and turned himself to set a trap for Bugnarok. Now, Suzume's feeling were indeed just an act and she stabbed him right in the back

Of course, all of those made for cool plot points, I guess the story they set in motion was much better than any ship could be, but it's still quite sad (Hopefully Gira will regain enough memories to rekindle an ounce of brotherly love, I just want for someone to care for him, come on)

That being said, Racules' relationship with Suzume is still quite a mystery. They've been locked up together in that castle for 15 years, being each other's only mutuals available. Even if they have no romantic feeling towards each other, Racules still let her go all over him back in episode 15. Boshimar didn't seem to be bothered at all that Suzume walks freely around the castle and his only complaint was her sitting on the throne, and she still silenced him soon enough. Sure, it could have been a coincidence, and Suzume could have been only trying to save her brother from being arrested, but her directly sitting on the throne, having Kaguragi impersonate a beetle that took his line of sight to the necessary level and her waving her feet, bringing attention to the space right next to the secret button. All of it suggests that she knew that it was there. And now, could it be that she was sneaking around the castle in the stealth mode like Kaguragi and kurokos were and she found it, or maybe she managed to get it out of Racules himself? I guess we'll have to wait and see

That being said, the ending of the episode implies that the theories that the Bugnarok have infiltrated Shugoddom have been correct and now, using the fact that Racules has just been beaten and lost the crown, they decided to unleash what they've been planning and swiftly take over Shogoddom. Whether Racules was aware of the whoke deal or not remains a mystery for now, but I guess it's clear that the Bugnarok didn't reveal their presence to him before and even if he knew, they didn't know that he did

Preview for the next episode, suggests that episode 20 will be the end of another arc, that all kingdoms will unite, that the movie's coronation will be indeed a real thing and that the first 20 episodes of the show are basically a pilot supposed to explain how the status quo has been reached and how our team has been formed. If my speculations from before will turn out to be correct, this will start the middle arc of the season with more chill atmosphere, with Gira being a king of Shugoddom and having a peace among the nations (human ones, at least)

This won't last long, of course, because then The Real Threat will be revealed, with whoever was behing Wrath of God coming back (my money is still on Corsus Hastie, possibly in cahoots with Kamejim. If Racules found out about his father's being responsible for this, could this be the "clash with reality" that changed him? Also, the trip to the Underworld that every Shugoddom ruler has to go through, as the movie states?), and us entering the final arc, with, hopefully, Racules re-entering the game to stir the plot

Speaking of Racules, the lack of him in the preview has me both worried and intrigued. I wonder what happened to him after Kamejim's "warm welcome" and what will be of him once Shugoddom is taked back by the team

EDIT: there he is! 😍

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hyacinthsdiamonds · 3 years ago

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Reasons I hated the ending;

Inconsistent ooc writing. I don't know who the f was on my screen but that wasn't the Sam or Dean we've grown with for fifteen years.

Plot holes; the vampire mimes??? Where did they come from?? Because John thought Vampires were extinct until Dead Man's Blood and then he's you know dead so when did he have this supposed hunt with these pathetic excuses for a typical monster of the week villain let alone the last ever one?

Jenny. She wasn't even named in her first episode. Not once in fifteen years did one viewer go "I wonder what happened to her". Nostalgia? Most people didn't recognize her. She's only notable for being part of the first wlw and same-sex kiss on the show which was nonconsensual because the other girl forced herself on Jenny and only did it for the amusement of the men watching. There's also interesting points regarding to the show's vilification of queer people in the early seasons as majority of the first queer characters were what the show deemed monsters and were portrayed as predatory or destructive (they literally had Lily accidentally kill her girlfriend by touching her) and if they were "human" they were used as the punchline until Charlie when we actually got good rep and she was eventually butchered. Most queer characters ended up dead, or at least dead from some time. Only four queer characters are even hinted to be alive at the end (we don't know nothing about Charlie 2.0's fate), Kaia and Claire who's reunion and overall ending is left open to interpretation (hinted they're alive as Donna texted Sam which hints the wayward sisters are ok), Max who as far as we are aware is still condemned to go to Hell when he dies and Chuck one of if not the only canon bisexual males in the show was vilified to such a significant degree it doesn't matter that he's still alive. To have Jenny be the character they bring back while ignoring the show's integral queer characters like Charlie or Crowley or Claire or Cas etc is something else when the nonconsensual kiss was what turned her into a vampire.

Of the three female characters we see in the finale none have any connections to the viewers. Jenny the only character we've seen before is killed immediately. Blurry wife literally only exists to provide the womb for Sam to have a son to name after Dean so it doesn't look like he kidnapped a random kid, she's not deemed important enough to be even seen properly. "Sam could've ended up with anymore it's open to interpretation" bullshit because that's clearly a white woman which erases so many interpretations and it is so clearly a cop out. The third is a woman who literally gets silenced at the start of the episode, she gets her tongue cut out. The most we get is a text from Donna and a line about Mary.

Cas' ending. You pulled Chekhov's gun out. The gun had to go off but instead of acknowledging his confession, they refused to allow Dean to voice his feelings, refused to even give Cas a concrete ending. We don't know for an absolute fact if he's in heaven, all we're told is Cas helped. His death is literally bury your gays, an example of out of the closet and into the fire. He deserved better as a main character of twelve years.

Dean's death is problematic as fuck. His death is implied to be a suicide. It's said to be a good thing, him dying, him dying that way. This still fucks me up. He deserved to live. He deserved so much, I see him having some sort of roadhouse like Ellen taking care of wayward children and hunters alike, and having some sort of auto shop like Bobby did. I see him aged and happy. I see Cas beside him as he should be.

Sam's ending is bullshit. It erases fifteen years of character development, of relationships and it makes it all pointless. Sam is forced to lead the life he would've lived had Dean not showed up at his dorm in the pilot. What was the point of any of it? Was Dean just a fifteen year interruption of his brother's real life? His character arc was leading towards a completely different route and they did a full 180 and regressed his character so much. Sam should've become the next Bobby, teaching and helping a new generation of hunters and he should've gotten to keep/use his powers. He should've gotten to pass on Rowena's knowledge to a new generation of witches too and I'll die on both those hills.

EILEEN LEAHY DESERVED FUCKING BETTER. First you kill her by hellhounds. You kill a deaf woman with something she needs to be able to hear in order to have a chance at surviving. Second you bring her back, develop her and Sam's relationship and then you kill her again, don't give Sam a chance to even react to it and then leave her fate unknown and then throw in blurry wife to add insult to injury.

The pacing was so off. Like carry on wayward son plays back to back twice in a weird montage??

The party city wig. It's genuinely laughable. Like that's what the cw went broke over lmfao.

It's hilariously bad for your average monster of the week episode. As a final ever episode, it's like spitting and peeing into the fans drink and forcing them to drink it.

It wasn't for the fans. I know some fans liked it, I disagree with their opinions but respect them BUT it's clear that the episode was the way it was for people who ditched the show earlier on in it's run could tune in and not feel like they missed anything, which for a show with 15 seasons should never have been the case. It was a kick in the face for those who stuck it out from beginning to end

Amara's ending doesn't sit right with me. Like she's just absorbed into Jack? Jack at three is God? Amara should've been God and Jack should've gotten to be a kid on Earth.

Rusty. Nail. Andrew Dabb why did you hate Dean Winchester and Jensen Ackles?

What about Cas' deal with Ruby? What about Rowena and the demons in Hell? What happened to Adam? Everyone Chuck snapped allegedly got brought back (no confirmation on Eileen, Charlie 2.0 or Stevie) but Michael got vaporized in Adam's body so what happened to Adam next? Forgotten again ffs. The vamp mimes are their own plot hole but how did they and Jenny team up? Like what connection did they even have? I could go on forever on forgotten plotlines and blatant plot holes.

John Winchester being in heaven.

Ruining carry on my wayward son. It's literally a jump scare at this point for me

Things I liked about the finale;

The dog

The party city wig for the memes only

#supernatural #spn #destiel #I'm sorry to my mutuals i lied about stopping myself ranting #i promise this is it and I'll return to f1 now

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bitimdrake · 3 years ago

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(re: your tags here)

do you know if any character has ever experienced "pit madness" in canon, or if it was completely fabricated by canon? (i know it's a thing on the cw shows, but i'm pretty sure the jason headcanons came before that)

OKAY it's been twelve years since you sent this, but I'm back to dc brain so let's go.

So if the question you're asking is if a character has ever experienced something that fits the common fanon applied to Jason--an effect referred to as "pit madness" that lasts for years after being dunked in a Lazarus Pit, causes sudden bouts of dissociative rage, and may or may not make eyes glow--the answer is a flat no.

But if the question is if characters have experienced any negative aftereffects of the pit, the answer is yes definitely!! If your story has something that can bring back the dead, it's gotta have drawbacks. (Though on occasion a character will avoid all drawbacks entirely.)

The Lazarus Pit is a magical plot device, so it has a range of effects depending on the story. But they can be divided into three categories, which map to three distinct narrative purposes:

Uncontrollable violence and anger right after being dunked, BUT!!! for minutes at most. A Lazarused not-Bruce gets dunked and then flies back to Gotham in Batman & Robin, and Damian explicitly says that he can't possibly still be under the effects of the pit because it would have long-since faded after an international flight. Cass goes through it in Batgirl, and is snapped out of it in like one minute. Dinah starts canary-crying her head off and nearly killing her friends in Birds of Prey, but she gets knocked out and is totally fine once she wakes up. (narrative usage: for heroes who will soon return to their status quo)

A long-term shift in personality towards, vaguely speaking, something more evil--but specifically after repeated exposure. Ra's's continual usage of the pit is on-and-off theorized as part of the reason he is the way he is. This effect might be referred to as madness by some characters, but, you know, not the angry type of "mad". (narrative usage: for villains)

Extreme awful fringe-effects, typically on bodies that were way too far gone for the pit to be a reliable method of resurrection. It's why Bruce was (at least?) once extremely against his parents being dropped in, because who knows what might have come out. Mr. Freeze used the pit for his wife in Batgirl and she came out a firey rage monster reanimating zombies. Sometimes bad shit happens. (narrative usage: for minor characters who will be quickly dispatched)

The overall outcome is that (a) characters are very nervous about using the pit, because there's a chance it might just turn its victim into a horrible twisted evil version of themself forever, and (b) when that doesn't happen, the victim is pretty much fine after a few minutes.

Just maybe don't make a habit of it.

Jason Todd Addendum: Contrary to popular fanon, Jason never even went through the first option! (Nor, obviously, the third.) He was one of the lucky ones to come out of the pit seemingly normal. The pit never gave him any anger! at all! ever! His anger is 100% homemade!

However, Talia in Lost Days notes he's disconcertingly cold and uncaring, which could be an indication he's experiencing option two despite only going in once--but that could just easily be explained by trauma. We'll never know for sure.

#*#ask #anon #*dc #dc #dc comics #dc meta #keeping this post to just general information #but since i get to go on tangents in the tags...#just wanna mention that my hatred of the fanon 'pit madness' is not because the concept of the pit causing rage is bad #i DO think there should be a significant drawback here #honestly the fact that 1 is so mild kinda fucks with the narrative and makes you wonder why people don't use the pit more #which is only somewhat balances by the risk of 3 #BUT NO the reason that i fucking hate the fanon #is because it is 100% used to exonerate jason of actions that in canon he took WILLINGLY and OF HIS OWN VOLITION #he was not forced into any of it (by magically pit means nor by human manipulation)#he decided to do that stuff because it's what he wanted to do #and ignoring that is imo sooooo much less interesting for the character and story #like idc him suddenly snapping out of it and having perfect morals is boring. force him to actually change his mind and grapple with it #(not to mention that this made up 'oh but he wasn't in control' shit is often used to unfairly throw others under the bus #when their actions DO make sense in the context of canon jason doing bad shit intentionally)#oh fuck this tag ramble was long oops #...fine #jason todd

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metalandmagi · 4 years ago

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Winter 2021 Anime Worth Watching!

Since 2020 basically sacrificed itself to give us the most stacked anime season of all time, I’m currently buried under the weight of almost 20 shows airing per week. So for anyone who’s looking for some anime to watch this winter, here’s some first impressions! I’m speed running my list this time by only talking about the new shows...because otherwise this would be my great American novel.

If anyone’s interested, I have master lists for both 2020 anime and 2019 anime, because there’s no shortage of fun things to find.

New Shows!

And before anyone asks, So I’m A Spider, So What? isn’t on here, because CG spiders freak me out.

Cells At Work Code Black: This...less comedic spin off of Cells At Work (made by a different studio) takes the wholesome concept of Osmosis Jones meets cute anime girls and turns it on its head. In this much more depressing version, we follow a rookie red blood cell who works in the body of an overly stressed, alcoholic smoker who puts every strain on the body imaginable. I love Red Blood Cell AA2153 and his co-workers, but man am I glad we get the regular Cells At Work airing this season too, because I need something fun and uplifting after seeing my sweet son go through hell every episode.

*Heaven’s Design Team: Have you ever wondered how God came up with some of the weird ass animals that live on this planet? Like, what’s the deal with giraffes? And why can’t we have dragons and flying horses? Well this is a comedy about the engineers and designers in heaven creating the new animals that are going to inhabit the Earth. That’s it, that’s the show. It’s kind of in the same vein as Cells At Work, having comedy blend with a surprising amount of educational information. If you want something light and funny, this is the show for you (though I don’t think it needs to have full length episodes). I’m just hoping there’s an episode about how the hell the platypus was created. Also it’s the only new one available on Crunchyroll.

Horimiya: A romantic comedy about a girl named Hori who fits the image of a perfect queen bee and a quiet bespectacled boy named Miyamura who never makes an impression at school. When the two meet by chance outside of the classroom, we see that Hori is practically raising a younger brother by herself, and Miyamura is actually a sweet guy who happens to be covered in tattoos and piercings. This show is an exercise in breaking down the images people have of others in their minds, and it’s a concept that really hits home in a fun and meaningful way. Honestly, this has become one of my immediate favorites. The characters have great chemistry, and I can’t wait to see more of them!

Monster Incidents (Kemono Jihen): When big shot Tokyo detective Inugami is called to a rural town to investigate a series of strange animal deaths, he finds a mysterious boy with the nickname Dorotabo who has been shunned by the other children in town. As the detective gets closer to Dorotabo, he discovers that there may be more...inhuman secrets to the boy than he realizes...and Dorotabo discovers that Inugami has some secrets of his own. This is a hard show to sell without spoiling the first episode, but it had twists and turns that kept me engaged from start to finish. I’m really interested to see where the plot goes, because I thought this was going to be something totally different just from the PV and series summary. If it plays its cards right, this could be a great paranormal detective show!

Wonder Egg Priority: A psychological drama about a girl named Ai who starts having dreams about a mysterious egg that promises to give her what she wants most in the world...a true friend. Before long, she begins to see how the dream world and reality are tied together, and trippy antics ensue. It’s hard to say more without spoiling anything, but I had to go back and add this one in because I made the mistake of thinking it was an OVA when it’s actually a full series. And what a series it’s starting out to be. This anime has all the psychological discomfort of a Satoshi Kon product with the beauty and style of something from Kyoani (even though it’s made by Clover Works). It’s really one of those anime you just have to see to understand.

Sk8-∞ (Skate the infinity): An original skateboarding anime from Bones, featuring a typical sports anime protagonist who takes a new transfer student who has never skateboarded in his life under his wing. Together they compete in dangerous races and take the skating community by storm. The character designs rival Appare Ranman’s in outlandish creativity, and I can smell the main characters’ ship dynamic a mile away (considering they’re exactly the same as the protagonists from Robihachi). If you’re looking for some wild and crazy fun with top notch skateboarding animation, don’t skip this!

2.43: Seiin Koukou Danshi Volley-bu (Seiin High School Boys Volleyball Club): Yes, it’s another volleyball anime. And no, it’s not just a clone of Haikyu. This story follows Yuni Kuroba, a physically built but emotionally weak teenager who finds out his childhood friend Hajime is moving back to their hometown for high school. Yuni discovers Hajime has become an exceptional volleyball player and they join their school’s volleyball club hoping to turn the unknown team into a rising star. If anything, this anime is much more like Stars Align or Free, where the sport is a backdrop for letting the characters explore their personal problems. Or at least it seems that way after the first episode. I went into this show ready to throw it in the trash because how could anything compete against my beloved Haikyu, but I found myself really enjoying the dynamics of the main duo and I’m curious to see what the rest of the team is like.

And speaking of sports anime rip-offs…..I can’t believe I’m including this but…

Skate Leading Stars: The show where the animators clearly wanted to design another throw away idol anime but saw how popular Yuri On Ice was so they decided to make whatever the hell this show is instead. It revolves around a fictional team sport called skate leading, and we follow the world’s most insufferable main character, a former figure skater named Kensei who wants to return to the ice and join his school’s skate leading team after he finds out his childhood rival is going to compete in the sport. Look, this show is just trashy enough to get a certain type of audience hooked, and it mainly has to do with the best boy of the winter season, Hayato Sasugai, the aspiring team “coach” who pulled most of us into watching this show with his punk appearance, snide comments and smug personality. He’s basically the lovechild of Izaya Orihara and Shizuo Heiwajima in a high school sports anime setting. The show treats itself with the perfect amount of sincerity to get away with being absolutely ridiculous most of the time without making you feel like you’re watching it from a dumpster...like Try Knights. You will know after one episode whether this show is for you. All I can say is, Hayato is worth the watch, and I haven’t seen any 3D animation used for the skating scenes (yet) so that’s a win for me.

Honorable mention:

Jobless Reincarnation ( Mushoku Tensei): Yet another isekai where the main character is hit by a car (big surprise) and gets reincarnated into a fantasy world...but he happens to remember his previous life and narrates himself growing up as a jaded adult. I’m only including this because it looked amazing animation wise, and I love the opening where getting hit by a car and dying is actually traumatic. And I love the protagonist’s parents (who are retired adventurers who just want to bang all the time). But honestly...the main character is the fucking worst, and I don’t know if I want to keep watching it because of how creepy and weird he is. Like...he’s the hit on your fantasy mom as a baby kind of creepy and weird. But for anyone who wants a cool looking isekai that had an amazing PV, it’s worth checking out.

Continuing Series!

Because the real gold of the season is in all the established anime getting their next seasons, I’m just going to list some of the things that are also amazing and definitely worth checking out if you haven’t already (because I’ve already talked about most of them at some point and don’t know what else to say).

Attack On Titan season 4

The Promised Neverland season 2

Beastars season 2

Log Horizon season 3

That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime season 2

Re: Zero season 2 (second cour)

Dr. Stone season 2

Cells at Work season 2

Osomatsu-san season 3 (second cour)

Higurashi New (second cour)

Jujutsu Kaisen (second cour)

Not to mention all the shows I don’t watch that everyone else loves...like World Trigger (which I have seen quite a bit of, but long shounen shows are too much for me now) Quintessential Quintuplets, and Non Non Biyori.

So there’s just some of all the anime airing this season. Hopefully, someone can find something they like. Here’s to a great year...well, of anime at least...

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uweiy · 4 years ago

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I'm intrigued by Love is Science? but know nothing about it. Can you give me a run down on what kind of thing to expect and who it might appeal to? Thank you!! 😁

Ooooo boi *gremlin smile* I'm glad you asked. You've entered the dragon's den, broken the dam and thus this post turned out to be a monster so I'm gonna link here another post from @accidentallyadramablog which imo gives a nice (and short) overview.

That said let's get into

Love is Science?

Summary :

Yan Fei is a the CEO of the Love is Science marriage agency, that matches people based on scientific data. Hsuan Yu, 8 years younger than her, is a promising young hairstylist who has been in love with her thoughout their entire childhood when she has only ever seen him like a little brother.

Unexpectedly they meet again. Between the way they've each built their lives and how Yong Yan Fei's ex husband still looms over Yan Fei's life, how will their relationship develop this time around ?

Now,

just reading that summary I know what you're thinking.

Indeed, if you have some experience with dramas, you might recognize some TYPICAL TYPICAL tropes – let's get them out of the way :

love triangle (though we all know who she is going to end up with don't we)

childhood friends

'noona romance'

And they are every bit as present and as trope-ey as you would expect.

However, as they say, the devil is in the details.

And particularly, in the side characters. Let me give you a quick rundown of the lot of them :

As such, we follow the stories of multiple relationships that develop parallel to one another.

The relationships

• Yan Fei/ Hsuan Yu : Not much needs to be added I think. Their storyline might be the most predictable but they are pretty sweet and heartwarming. pining for like 12 years though poor Hsuan Yu. Anyway you can enjoy it or find it boring or but you can't hate it.

• Mark/Ouwen : Noooow we're getting to it. Their dynamic is so... Refreshing and unique. Confident gay with a soft heart and dumb disaster bisexual I mean *chef kiss*👌delicious

After the disasters of their first meetings, it's a cat and dog relationship where Ouwen is the hsssssss don't touch me– cat and Mark is the golden retriever trailing after him not really realizing the rampage he's creating in Ouwen's heart. while Ouwen is like "Remind me why the FUCK I caught feelings again ?".

IDK it just has everything 'Enemies' to friends to lovers, (not actually) unrequited love, pining, sweet moments, jealousy, feelings realization, snarky banter... What more could one want.

• Cho Nai Hui / You Fu : they are. So. So sweet. Both are older and have experience, and as such they are not so naive or stupid as the youngsters. Them sharing their life experiences and going on dates like typically teenagers (in movies or TV shows anyway) would is refreshing to see and really really heartwarming.

• Liu Sheng Ying/ ??? Her ex ? : The show hinted at a wlw storyline and this arc seems to have JUST begun. Basically Sheng Ying's ex comes to Love is Science as a client and requests Sheng Ying as an advisor, while Sheng Ying still seems heartbroken over her. I can't WAIT to see how it develops.

The friendships :

Something I greatly appreciate is that both the romantic relationships AND the friendships have a great importance in the drama.

• Joanna and Yan Fei : Jo, queen Jo 👑. She's just here to gossip, get all the gossip and be the voice of reason and we love her for it. You can see how comfortable they are around each other and how they were there for each other during tough times and still are. Kudos to the actresses because I believed the characters were besties in a heartbeat.

• Hsuan Yu and Mark : they are honestly... Such polar opposites you kinda wonder how they became friends but they are and it works perfectly.

Hsuan Yu still hasn't gotten he maybe shouldn't take Mark's advice, and Mark still hasn't gotten that he, definitely should take Hsuan Yu's. It also enables to develop a more playful and mischievous side to Hsuan Yu, giving him more depth?

• Ouwen and Sheng Ying: rivalry to reluctant solidarity to friends-but-i-will-deny-it-if-asked to just friends. IT'S GREAT

I also ejoy the fact that these multiple storylines are allowed to coexist. The romantic ones, the friendships, older, younger, m/f m/m and f/f like take your pick !! And tbh a WLW storyline ?????? These are so scarce I will take anything.

The recurring themes :

The show more or less subtly touches on some topics/issues, to which the dating aspect contributes to.

A non exhaustive list would be

Divorce, and how divorced women can be viewed as failures for some reason

How successful men over 30 are sought after but successful women after 30 are somehow deemed undatable

Preconceived notions and homophobia

And beyond the topics, there's just things like... Joanna not being interested in long term relationships nor wanting to get married, reporting sexual harassment, older people going on dates.... I'm not saying it's a groundbreaking activist drama –which is not really what I was looking for– I just appreciate the fact that it is a pretty mainstream drama and that these things are there.

Mad respect if you've made it up to here ! but we're not quite done yet.

The cast and crew :

The other element that made this drama stand out for me besides the side characters is the cast.

It might be weird that such a meta thing impacts the appreciation of the show but it did, for me at least.

📣📣TMI WARNING 📣📣

For me what happened is I stumbled onto Mark and Ouwen cuts on YouTube, then somehow onto the behind the scenes. They weren't subbed at the time so I could barely understand a word of what they were saying, thus I'm not sure what but something about how the rest of the actors, the director and the crew were interacting just told me it was a show worth watching or at least checking out.

📣📣END OF TMI📣📣

The cast honestly seems to have a blast and to have, how to say it, come together really well. It seems like most of them have become genuinely friends, or despite differences in personality have truly enjoyed working with one another and with the rest of the crew, and it shows.

Where it's lacking

In my opinion the show does have some aspects where it underperforms.

As previously mentioned, the main plot is kinda tropey, furthermore, in a drama typical fashion when something is about to get resolved, immediately something else happens. Nothing unexpected from a drama though.

The pacing : Some moments of the main plot especially dragged on, so I admit I skipped through some parts.

Because I feel so strongly about all the characters though, I don't really mind the previously mentioned points. I just think it's a shame because I feel like if it had been crafted a little bit better it could have made the show go from an 8/10 good drama to an 11/10 friggin amazing drama easy.

Lastly, there is a pretty unequal time distribution so Yan Fei and Hsuan Yu do tend to occupy the most part of an episode. However some episodes are more centered on some pairings (like ep 11 that will probably have an important Mark/Ouwen part).

Overall

it's a drama that warms my heart, as simple as that. It's not that deep, it's pretty funny, the acting ranges from good to excellent and I have taken a liking to a lot of the characters, which is what I think fuels my interest for the drama.

And I feel like it managed to attract a wide range of audiences because the romances and relationships are so diverse. Whether you watch the show for its entirety or for one aspect/storyline/character is entirely up to you and I feel like the creators of the drama are aware of it as well : and you can easily find subbed compilations about each specific pairing on Settv's official YouTube channel.

Take that aspect that you like–if you find one of course–and enjoy it, that is all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

What's left to say besides.... 🎉🎊 Congratulations for making it to the end of this lengthy post !

#I add a tmi warning in the middle as if this entire post wasn't one lengthy tmi lol #long post #love is science?#��愛是科學 #lian ai shi ke xue #tw drama #taiwan drama #taiwanese drama #honestly thank you for this opportunity to talk about it #it made me happy heh heh heh #oh and if anyone else of the 15 people who like the show want to add stuff share your thoughts or highjack this post go ahead #lis?

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undyingsunshine · 3 years ago

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Li Cu WIP

Decided to finally get smth for Li Cu out since it's been a while! This has pretty much no direction and is mostly rambling but hee hoo! Not sure if/when I'll finish this and/or release it, so have this for the time being.

[SPOILERS For Sand Sea/Tomb of The Sea/Sha Hai and mentions of abuse]

Li Cu often ponders monsters.

Most kids are terrified of them - crying, mortified, over the thing that lurks in the darkness of their closet, or the basement or any dark enough room at any time of the night. Too young to truly grasp the consequence of being caught in the grasps of whatever nightmare they conjured up, but just cognitive enough to know that it's something to fear, something to avoid at all costs.

Unlike most parents, Li Cu's didn't stand between him and the non-existent threat. No. His father made sure he got plenty of time to be up close and personal with the darkened realms of their cupboard, turning a blind eye as frightful figments of imagination turned all too real, shutting off any and all acknowledgements as shadowy, crooked hands snaked around LI Cu's throat and choked him in twisted collaboration with his tears; all instances of these occurrances finding their origin rooted in consequence.

Consequence was all Li Cu knew.

After all, he forever suffered the consequence of his mother's absence. The consequence of Wu Xie being unable to stop the Wang family earlier. The consequence of his own necessary cruel deciet to Shen Qiong.

It's not his fault. But it is. But it isn't. But it is.

Monsters, Li Cu has come to find, come in a multitude of forms. While it's typical to grow out of the belief of shadowed beasts that stalk the dark corners of a room, many children grow up to realise that actual monsters hide among the light and the living. Li Cu in particular learned very quickly that they even live freely inside the comforts of your own home. He was very quick to learn that not only was he to fear the dark, he was to fear the man he was already a shadow to.

In that vein, perhaps, he, himself was a monster as well. A shambling ghoul roaming the apartment, reminding his father of everything he lost - a symbol of his failures and mistakes. It would make sense. Why else would his mother leave him like this? In the custody of a man that held no hesitance to abuse his own son. And maybe it, too, would explain further why Wu Xie chose him, of all people.

Wu Xie is a monster. There's no doubting that. A monster that can bleed and love and regret, but a monster nontheless. If not for the entire Wang Compound, Wu Xie would've been the cruelest monster that Li Cu had ever faced. Because unlike the sprawling roots off the Snake Cypress, or the erratic, impulsive anger of his father; Wu Xie was entirely aware of what he was doing. Not just to Li Cu, but to everyone he encountered. Whatever Wu Xie did, it was not done without reason or cause - all actions perfectly orchestrated and plotted, little regards spared to the idea of mercy.

A strong suit in the tomb raiding industry, he would suppose, but Li Cu had never even brushed by it. A boy, a teenager, was no exception to his ruthlessness. And Li Cu feels like he should be allowed to condemn that - to be bitter, angry, confused as to what he did to deserve the fates dealt out to him by strangers he never even knew existed. He hated it. The stifling feeling of being trapped in a situation you never put yourself in, the lack of control over anything that happened.

He hated it even more that, regardless of all this, he still fucking cared about this monster. He still wanted the monster to care about him. That's all he's ever wanted out of anyone, actually - and yet the one time someone did, she ended up dead because of him.

Perhaps this is his punishment. A way to show him that this is all he deserves: to yearn for acceptance that he will never deserve.

#li cu #wip #undying prattle #abuse mention #my wips #dmbj #sand sea #sha hai #tomb of the sea

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thedeviljudges · 4 years ago

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For today’s ‘i really, really love kang yohan’ post, we’re gonna be develing into a little bit of emotional intelligence and the fact that Yohan both possesses it while simultaneously doesn’t, lmao.

Yohan is portrayed as a hunter and a shark. He’s said this himself in his own words. He’s read up on dynamics of humans and instincts and basis himself off of a monster for a couple of different reasons, but the main one being the fact that people believed him to be as such instead of coming down to his level as a child to understand him.

This by far, means Yohan was emotionally neglected (physically too, but that’s, in some ways, addressed in my other meta post) by parental figures in his life except for the nanny, possibly, on occasion, and isaac - but even then, we know it must’ve only been to a certain extent. On top of that, yohan’s only true witness to emotions is through those people in the house, and needless to say, one of them was off the walls abusive.

It’s why we get scenes like the choking one because when Yohan is angry, guess how he’s learned to express that? It’s physical, but it ties in emotionally. Yohan lashes out the only way he knows how, but this is also an indicator that he’s lied about being a monster. Why? Because people with extreme reactions to emotionally charged questions (like your associate judge accusing you of killing your brother, for example) can often mean that it’s more than just a sensitive topic; it actually matters to that person. At this point, gaon does not know isaac’s story, but we later learn yohan’s version of the fire, and it’s slowly revealed through Elijah, specifically, just how much family is a tough topic for Yohan.

And fortunately, gaon sees right through yohan’s bullshit when he calls him out about how he should be a victim, not a monster. Which opens up the door to us understanding why Yohan does what he does and says what he says even more because it’s revealed through that conversation that these are specific words Yohan has heard before. So not only has he been emotionally stunted as a child by way of abuse, he’s had so many people in his life look at him as a callous monster. And when that happens, don’t you start to believe it? Don’t you lose a little bit of your humanity and become the very thing people say you are?

However, this is also yohan’s strength in the world he lives in, especially with the intent to seek revenge for Isaac. He can put his emotions aside and think clearly, even in situations that should rile him up. You can actually see him get… amused when someone tries to put him in a corner. Yohan doesn’t rely on emotions because it’s logic, rational and strategy that gets him every single checkmate. It’s what’s got him to the point he’s at now. It’s how he’s able to push gaon into seeing reason because if you look at things from the perspective of philosophy and science (by way of human nature), it becomes easier to see a path and a plan so very clearly to whatever outcome you’re wanting.

The issue that comes into play circles back around with family. Because Yohan did not grow up in a healthy environment, he doesn’t know what family actually means and what dynamic it should look like. The past several years he’s spent with Elijah, he’s lived it logically because it means keeping her safe without taking into consideration the fact that Elijah is not like himself and did not grow up in the same environment he did. Only, Yohan also has a habit of not telling anyone his plans, and that’s where the miscommunication starts. How is Elijah to know why Yohan keeps her away from the world? It’s revealed she’s been kidnapped twice, but does Elijah truly understand yohan’s perspective? No, she’s a teenager, and gaon was right about it not being fair to keep her locked away.

But I digress. Here you have a man with a plan with repressed emotions and then enter one kim gaon, and he’s asked for trouble. One of the reasons Yohan, I believe, has kept gaon around is because he defies the typical. He challenges Yohan, not in an act of dominance, but out of another way of thinking, and that’s a big difference. Things might go over gaon’s head, and he’s not always right, but he’s looking at all perspectives, even if they’re wrong. Multiple times Yohan has been surprised by gaon’s way of thinking. That’s intriguing and it’s different.

Which lead to situations where gaon’s confronting Yohan about himself, holding up a mirror and asking him if that’s truly who he is or if it’s someone he’s trying to be, if he’s listening to what other people have told him or if he’s actually listening to himself. Which is kind of ironic with Yohan only being able to trust himself, but he can’t even do that, can he? He lies to himself in order not to face what he truly feels. And that’s because it’s filled with pain, and Yohan doesn’t have time for that.

But there is also a reason why a lot of his progress takes place in his house and away from the world because a home is meant for vulnerability and while Yohan and Elijah haven’t had that in a while, Yohan didn’t take into account gaon’s ability to see things differently. Yohan saw gaon’s mind for his plan and for the overarching plot to oust the rich, but what he did not consider is how that would translate into his personal life. Which is hilarious because Yohan is the one that brought gaon into his home in the first place and ultimately ended up with a surprise of a man who’s clearly moved in because Yohan never tells him he has to leave.

So, that’s where things begin to unravel. Gaon tests Yohan’s patience and emotions in ways he hasn’t been tested. Again, gaon’s held up the mirror and asked him to consider looking deeper for the actual truth instead of the façade Yohan lets himself believe is real. Gaon is also one of the only other people in yohan’s life that has actually considered yohan’s feelings and, in turn, elijah’s. gaon is also a man of righteousness and it makes sense that he’s not afraid to share parts of himself if it means it’s doing something good.

We see this particularly with Elijah, telling her about his parents, not reprimanding her over her murder plot, lmao. gaon grew up in an emotionally healthy, and most likely, happy household where he could express himself without feeling like a burden. He has patience and kindness imbedded into his being.

So with that dynamic of being in a home where people are not on display in front of the world, with gaon’s ability to emotionally connect with people, and finding out the looming secrets of the kang household, it becomes rife with opportunity to peel back those layers and expose them for what they are and talk about it and instead of hiding it away in the shadows. Gaon gives them all space to have those emotions, and while he prods and he asks questions, it’s generally in the form of a gentle reminder that other perspectives exists than the ones that are within those four walls. Gaon doesn’t get angry necessarily, and he apologizes when he’s wrong. His straightforwardness and heart-on-his-sleeve demeanor actually works in his favor, albeit a bit misguided at times.

And with all of this, it’s how Yohan slowly begins to open up. Gaon might be accusatory from his distrust of Yohan, but it’s from a place of curiosity and determination to understand, ultimately, rather than a motive of punishment. I think gaon connecting with Elijah is also the icing on the cake and driving motivator that yohan made a good choice in keeping gaon around because Yohan notices the change in his niece and how much happier she is. Gaon’s directly pointed fingers at Yohan and he’s spied on him, but he’s also confronted Yohan about what he’s done head on without taking justice into his own hands. So with those two things combined (helping elijah and wanting understanding), and even yohan’s determination to get gaon on his side, means that level of trust has slowly, but surely, grown into something much more than Yohan ever thought it could be.

Because again, Yohan did not think about the intricacies of living with other people at home and how well you get to know them by merely existing under the same roof. Gaon learns little things about Yohan and doesn’t use them to his advantage or as a slight – maybe in the beginning with the spying, if we want to give him any credit at all for that. Gaon sees a problem and tries to fix it – just like he sees a problem with the world and with corruption and uses the justice system to fix it.

With all of that understanding and poking and prodding, gaon learns how much Yohan cares for Isaac and for Elijah and validates those emotions while still giving Yohan a slap on the wrist for how he’s expressed that care. He learns of yohan’s abuse and confirmed and supported the idea of being a victim and how that’s okay, that Yohan needs to learn to accept it for himself in order to truly heal. He’s berated Yohan for not showing more kindness to Elijah, the only family he has left and just how important that bond is, after discovering what Elijah means to Yohan.

And that’s given Yohan agency with his own emotions. He’s cried over the memory of his father abusing him and wishing he could’ve stopped it. He’s admitted that he hates when gaon looks at him like he’s a monster, and he definitely hates it when gaon makes assumptions and dives in head first without actually thinking things through. But that is also an advantage of Yohan: understanding someone emotionally because it means that Yohan has learned so much about gaon and the way he thinks that when in episode 9 he tells gaon about how he reminds him of Isaac with his assumptions, it comes from a place of discussion rather than anger. He’s realized the way to get through to gaon is through talking and physically showing gaon how he thinks (the prison reveal). Granted, he’s been doing this with gaon since the beginning, but it’s become even more pertinent now.

The thing is, Yohan has recognized gaon’s kindness at this point. He’s witnessed it in his misguided understanding of the justice system. But what’s truly interesting is that Yohan understands gaon’s kindness, but he still doesn’t understand the world’s. Yohan has a very different perspective of what kindness looks like because it’s not actual kindness but motivation and ulterior motives. Kindness to Yohan is power play – it’s people using others by any means necessary to get a leg up. It’s self-serving for their own benefit and not for others.

Which is also how that first seed of trust is planted with gaon – when he saved the little girl and the bus driver. And how more seeds are trusted by way of gaon doing what gaon does best – provoking Yohan with different thoughts, especially when it comes to family.

But this also applies to yohan’s understanding and hypocrisy when it comes to Elijah and kindness. At this point and by episode 9, Yohan has accepted gaon’s kindness. He’s let it in, lets Elijah indulge in it because he’s noticed that their home is happier – by way of making gaon come back because Elijah missed him. Yohan believes Elijah naïve for trusting others who show her any ounce of kindness, but the thing is, Yohan has come to trust gaon. He’s witnessed the kindness and the understanding, and yet it’s much easier to continue believing that it’s actually a cruel and ugly thing, especially in the wake of Elijah getting hurt, and that’s his default method of coping. Kindness got Elijah hurt and in trouble. It’s what makes you weak.

And if there is one thing we know about Yohan is that he’s anything but weak, but it’s another lie. Kindness did not get Yohan anywhere in life. Kindness got his brother murdered and his family taken away from him.

But the saving grace from that way of thinking? Gaon, yet again, telling Yohan why he’s wrong. Gaon tells Yohan every human needs someone to rely on as long as they’re human, and I think that was certainly a pain point of remembrance in how Yohan had no one but Isaac and then no one after. only this time, a point is made by way of Elijah because she only has Yohan now and she, unlike what Yohan convinces himself he doesn’t need, actually wants to experience human nature – that innate thing kang Yohan has so desperately read about and studied without taking into consideration that the carnal desires of humanity don’t always outweigh the good found within.

And isn’t that just a little bit ironic how someone so capable of understanding the human psyche cannot simply recognize kindness when it’s so freely given? If he weren’t the skeptic and the hypocrite, maybe he’d see what’s right before his eyes, and maybe he’d see just how far he’s come in allowing someone to see parts of himself he’d always been led to believe didn’t matter.

Kang Yohan is a complex character, but he has so much room for growth, and it’s exciting witnessing that in baby steps – and that’s all because he couldn’t tell his doe-eyed associate judge no. sucks for Yohan, I guess; getting himself into a mess he cannot get himself out of, an issue of his own doing and one we very clearly have seen he doesn’t want to rectify, lmao.

also one more thing..... that dinner scene in ep 9 is also a true testament of what can be done with just a little provocation because there you have yohan realizeing what a happy home can look like if he just tries to be more vulnerable and that it actually, in fact, does matter.

#x #*#kang yohan #the devil judge #look who write 2.3k about yohan bc im a dumbass and just spit out thoughts #this is not in order at all this is me rambling like the dumb b that i am #god i love yohan so much wow i hope this makes sense bc yikes #this is what happens when u have a lot of thoughts and there's so many components s #even after all this i know ive missed some but lmaooo here is this #does any of this make sense i hope it makes sense bc i dont feel like it's fleshed out how i wanted it #nor is it in order but uh yeah food for thought yall!!!!!!!!

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etheriadearie · 5 years ago

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Shadow Weaver’s Death, Her True Abusiveness, And Her Final, Beautiful, Gift To Catra

::The resistance fighters stand in the failsafe chamber. Catra has just called Shadow Weaver out on her manipulation. Shadow Weaver reluctantly explains the danger of the failsafe, and then implores Adora to take it: even if she fails, Shadow Weaver says, she will save her friends, and the universe. As literally every other person in that room cries out against Adora taking the risk, Adora turns and says she will do it. Catra, dismayed, runs to her telling her that Shadow Weaver is sacrificing her, and demands to know why she's letting her do that. Adora tells Catra "Because even if she is, it's better than Prime getting the Heart and destroying the universe." Catra trembles in deathly fear, her face consumed in terrible realization: if Adora does as SW wishes, she will die. Shadow Weaver is trying to kill Adora. She knows this to her very soul, because... she is Shadow Weaver... And Adora is letting it happen…

Hi there, my name is Joel, and in this segment I'll be looking at Shadow Weaver's death, her being a child abuser, her terrible manipulations of Catra and Adora and the monstrous pains the two girls have to conquer to save themselves from her.

The main premise I'll be trying to explain here is that, like Horde Prime, Shadow Weaver is a villain of utmost seriousness. And, like Horde Prime, the girls will treat her as one, surpassing and defeating her once and for all. But it won't be with violence, but instead with love, creating a beautiful story of two people transcending their trauma and hurt through coming together over their love for one another.

I feel obliged to warn readers: this post will cover child abuse, even predatation (*not sexual, ie). It may be hard to read. Also warning: tl;dr, please consider at least sitting down to read this!

Finally, I know there are Shadow Weaver fans out there; that's good. Shadow Weaver is, at times, cool af. But, definitively a terrible person within the plot of the show.

So, even if you're a fan of Shadow Weaver, I still encourage you to read along because as we reveal her truth and the damage she deals to Catra and Adora, it makes her final moment so, so much more beautiful… and it gives entirely new meaning to her final... two… words….

Disclaimer time: Taking on Shadow Weavers death is ambitious for a first post, I know. But understanding her is crucial to understanding most of the major moments in this show. Still, I should say here that while this may seem a bit ‘head’ canon-y, I assure you my conclusions come from watching the show carefully and referencing the entirety of the rest of the show back to this one moment. I'm instead positing these as theories, and let's just say I feel I have the data, and Data Never Lies! Please *do* ask questions or seek calcifications in the comments or Ask me anything (I'm new to Tumblr).

----Part 1: Catra, Micah, and the Truth----

To start this journey we will travel backwards in the series to investigate the what and why of the terrible child abuse Catra suffered growing up under Shadow Weaver's care. We will be looking chiefly at the Light Spinner episode in the 2nd season. We will cover Catra's confrontation and SW's -supposed- explanation for her abuse, then the tale of Micah and Shadow Weaver's manipulation of him, and then the terrible truth of why Catra -really- was abused.

>A terribly alone Catra asks her abusive mother why she did it. Why did she treat her so badly ?

Shadow Weaver answers: "Because you remind me of myself. You always have. Nothing was ever easy for me either. I wasn't born to power like Adora and... others. I had to earn my power, fight for it. Why should it be any different for you?"

This is a very typical reason for an abuser to feel they are acting out their abuse on others: no one in this world understands my pain, so therefore I will inflict my pain upon a child so that they will know my pain as well. For many people this is essentially the truth of their abusers. I can't see any other reason for MY abusers to do what they did, other than this. It is, however, not the truth about Catra. We will discuss this in detail later.

We then watch as Catra does a very strong and eloquent job of rejecting and condemning it. She shows great emotional pain as she does so, and we know that her trauma is severe from watching her. Catra exclaims, her face full of emotional hurt and pain at Shadow Weaver's betrayal: "I was a child when you took me in. What could I have possibly done to deserve the way you treated me? I am nothing like you. You are old, and bitter, and weak."

Everything she says is perfectly true. As a child, there is no way she could have deserved the abuse Shadow Weaver inflicted on her. There never is. And she's also right when she says she's not anything like Shadow Weaver. Where Shadow Weaver is an unfeeling monster (as we will see), Catra feels deeply. Catra is inherently good, and while she will make terrible mistakes to come, she feels intense remorse. Shadow Weaver simply does not.

So, Shadow Weaver gives Catra a believable reason for the abuse, which, again, is a lie. But... there is meaning which we need to take from her choice of words: Shadow Weaver feels others, like Adora and Micah, are given an unfair advantage over people like herself. We will come back to this important insight soon...

Before we get to the real, harsh truth of why Catra was abused, we need to understand the tale of Micah and ‘Light Spinner’-‘s manipulation of him to get power.

>The story of Micah seems to be full of whimsy and childlike innocence. A young boy is talented beyond his years, a true prodigy. SW trains him, giving him access to teachings beyond what a sorcerer of his age should have. She tells him he's special, a true talent, like her. When she tells him "the guild needs talents like OURS more than ever before" she manipulates him, making him feel apart, better than all the other students and teachers, and that only SW can understand. It's SW's greatest talent: dividing people against each other, and this is part of her lifelong manipulation of Catra and Adora. Note: Castaspella accuses SW of mind controlling Micah (s5e8) to which SW responds "My gifts were always far subtler than that” - SW controls young Micah through mind games.

>SW hints of something of great importance, but then says "you're not ready". Micah demands to know, he's a special boy after all, right? He's so incredibly naive and innocent, doing things like chewing on magic crystals and acting out in class. He is, in fact, exactly the kind of privileged child who SW so greatly hates. This is where we get real meaning out of SW's supposed explanation for abusing Catra: Micah has inborn power that SW feels he is unworthy of possessing...

She preys upon his naiveness, showing him the Horde army. He, of course, demands they be stopped, and he's playing right into her hands. When she tells him the plan and of the upcoming meeting she tells him "I only hope that Norwyn and his followers can see the threat as clearly as YOU do." Again, she is making him feel apart, as though he's better than others. After all, he's a special little prodigy, right ?

SW gives her presentation at the council, trying to prey upon their fear by saying that the Horde have a rune stone. As she speaks of the spell of obtainment, her eyes are full of lust at the idea of so much power. But it is forbidden, and for good reason. As she looks over her shoulder at Norwyn her look is severe, accusing. She has no respect for him. And he's right to say that the problem will be handled: the war, in fact, does become a stalemate and stays that way all the way up until we are first introduced to Catra and Adora. Angrily, greedily, she demands they get power so they can 'have a planet to protect'.

She fails to convince them, but of course Micah sees her leaving the meeting, angry and frustrated, so he comes to her aide. "They never listen to me. After all I've done I still haven't earned their trust". Again, SW is set apart from them. When she says "they just want to hold the rest of us back" she's including Micah, making him feel separate, better, like her. She's indoctrinating him in her plan.

>We get a scene between Catra and SW here, where Catra tries to get SW to give her a reason to save her. All SW wants to know is when she's being sent to Beast Island: she realizes she has to escape that night. She sets out to manipulate Catra into giving her the reagent she needs to escape. SW talks up how weak and powerless she is, preying on Catra's lingering pity, desire for connection. A emotionally desperate Catra unfortunately gives it to her. Catra tells her "you don't get to ask things of me anymore" but she's desperate and depressed, feeling totally alone after so recently seeing Adora and consequently nearly dying the episode before, only to be saved by Scorpia's caring about her.

>And apprehensive Micah asks SW if she's sure this is a good idea. She tells him "WE need this power, it's the only way to protect our people". It's a lie, but Micah thinks he's special because he's SW's apprentice, and so he agrees to do it.

As the spell begins to work, we see a terrifying eldritch horror type of creature summoned. It soon breaks free even as Micah helps SW try to contain it. SW acts surprised to see it, but she always knew this spell. Micah runs, and SW stays, yelling angrily at Micah for leaving. She experiences fear as it consumes her, but she knows it's part of getting her power. This is the price she pays to become powerful. She tells Micah he betrayed her by abandoning her and yet, what other possible outcome was there but for them BOTH to be destroyed or corrupted? Norwyn tries to stand up to her, telling her "bringing you into our ranks was a grave mistake". She counters calling him a fool. "You're all weak. None of you deserve my help".

I often see people say this show doesn't show death, but what happens next is undeniably so: it is murder. She annihilates two sorcerer's in one hit, consumes the head sorcerer to give her more magical power. It is pure evil. As she realizes her new power she exclaims "The spell worked. I am stronger than ALL of you." She menaces Micah.

This. Was. Always. The. Plan. The spell worked, she says so herself. Micah tries to defend himself weakly against her, he's entirely at her mercy. He expects death, but instead she caresses his cheek, touches his ear. Then she gives him a look of disdain. It's no mistake she covers half her face even at this point in her history, so we can't know her full emotions. But it's clear, she condescends to him: he was a naive little pawn, not meant to survive, or at minimum, he was supposed to become corrupted like her. But it doesn't matter. She got what she wanted. So she leaves him to live knowing what he's done. The tale of ‘Light Spinner’ has ended: her better persona was just an illusion, useful in her goal of obtaining more power. An empowered Shadow Weaver then shows up at the Fright Zone, killing the guard as a demonstration of power. She declares herself for Hordak, and at least a partial truth is apparent: she wanted the vampiric power so she could channel the Black Garnet. Changing sides bothers SW not at all.

I point out SW’s violence because it is the only time they show any graphic death in this show, and it's therefore meant to show that SW is different, and dangerous. There really was no ‘Light Spinner’, as at multiple moments during her time at Mystacor her true emotions show through (such as pic1, top) and they are both vile and malicious, to put it lightly. Furthermore, note that SW going to the Horde doesn't end up ensuring their victory over the princesses, so yes, in fact, SW was lying to Micah all along. Last, keep in mind Micah’s opinion of her later on: SW is never to be trusted.

Now it's time to get back to the real reason Catra was abused and it's important implications for Adora's abuse as well.

>The scene following Catra's confrontation with SW, we see baby Adora having just arrived in the Fright Zone. SW walks past her, not particularly interested... and yet she sees something in her. And so she takes interest. She knows, in some way, that Adora will wield powerful magic, and since it also becomes clear to us that SW knows all about the past history of She-ra and the Heart of Etheria, it's a logical jump to say she probably thinks Adora is She-ra. Either way, Adora is a powerful orphan child with inborn talent beyond any normal expectation.

Sound familiar? The tale of Micah is there to inform this moment: SW meeting baby Adora. She is in a position to wield ultimate control over a magically privileged child. And the implications are not good...

Apologies to readers here, this next part is intense. Just a quick warning. The total implication of this is that SW never loved Adora, just like she didn't care about Micah. It is all manipulation, and it should be noted that at this point SW has switched to a full mask, conveniently hiding all emotion except a sliver of her eyes (as well as hiding her corrupted features). It's now almost entirely impossible to accurately read her emotions. I don't think she wants you to, as she really has no feelings of actual compassion. She only sees Adora as a privileged child she will use and then discard for her own power.

This means she is, in fact, a child predator. In this case, she's a predator of children of privilege, but the effect is the same: she sees such children as easy targets for her to manipulate for her own gain. Worse, the strong emotional feelings which Adora naturally feels towards those around her makes her easier to control, and SW manipulates this vulnerability against her, as a child and then again as they are headed for the failsafe.

So, returning to the real truth of why SW abused Catra. Let's take a look back at Catra’s condemnation of SW's explanation for her abuse, and it's just one line we need to understand: "I was a child, what could I have possibly done to deserve the way you treated me?" As it turns out, Catra -did- do something, and you have to adore and appreciate this show because we don't get this answer until the very end. Before season 5 was available, it would simply be impossible to understand Catra's story fully. The creators want you to come full circle of so many understandings, the story is that deep.

It's that one, beautiful, follow on line when Catra confesses her love to Adora- She says "I always have"...

Adora was Shadow Weaver's tool, her next prey. So, along comes Catra, who experiences romantic love for Adora right from the start. Beautiful, total love and devotion. SW sees this, and she decides that she can't let Catra be a hindrance to her plans. And yet she knows she can't kill Catra outright or risk losing Adora's affection. So she hurts Catra, tries to make her weak, to diminish her. She is trying to crush Catra's spirit, her will to live, all while making sure to instill a sense of duty and ambition in Adora which makes her less available to Catra. The abuse works, but not on Catra. Catra stays loyal to Adora, and is so secretly strong within herself in such a way that SW fails to destroy her spirit, although Catra has such incredible trauma from it that we see her struggle with it throughout the rest of the series.

But the abuse does work on Adora and so she grows apart from Catra in such a way that Catra eventually comes to feel Adora doesn't love her. And when Adora so clearly breaks the final half of the promise she made to Catra, Catra too, grows apart from Adora.

Catra therefore represents a person in this story who would have been so entirely below SW's notice that had she not loved Adora the way she did, SW would never have taken the time to hurt her. It wouldn't have been worth her time, and Catra would have had a happy(ish) childhood if not for loving Adora. By the way, this truth of SW's abuse of Catra is indeed confirmed in the show, but we don't have time to cover it here and it deserves its own theory post, anyways.

Before we get back to s5 let's take a brief moment to address SW's abuse of Adora: Adora is the kind of person who can't help but empathetically feel the pain of others when they feel it, and it's what makes her to be so unable to balance her own needs against those of others who are hurting. And so SW making Adora have ambition, to want to win at the expense of others, is actually a frightening manipulation. SW teaches Adora to believe she has to do this in order to be the leader, and then as the leader she must protect everyone else from harm. Adora goes on to show great emotional confusion over this, as she doesn't really feel she’s qualified to be that leader. It makes her feel alone from everyone else, and makes Adora worry about every decision she makes. SW essentially saddles Adora with a lonely burden of leadership, one which she's not well suited for. Adora has a very ADHDish (I’m no expert on ADHD) response to this where she bounces around trying to satisfy everyone else’s feelings, such as within their unit, and so her relationship with Catra suffered because of this.

To sum up, the abuses SW inflicts on the two of them results in their division from each other, and it's a division which tries to tear down both girls spiritually throughout this series. They each have specific traumas relating to Shadow Weaver's abuse of them. These are different, damaging fears SW instilled in each of them to make them easier to control. Because of this, both girls contribute to their separation to the two different sides of the war, and it's only through the great emotional learning of each of them that they are able to start putting it back again in season 5. And so, we will see that when SW returns in season 5, she immediately tries to pick up where she left off… to drive them apart from each other and manipulate them, once again, for her own gain.

Side note #2 before we get back to season 5: SW has a complete and total lack of love for Catra as well. Her callous manipulation of Catra, followed by leaving the fright zone like she did, was a spiritual blow and then a death sentence for Catra. SW would know this and yet she simply did not care. Furthermore, when they meet in Moment of Truth (s3ep4), SW again tries to kill Catra, only stopping short because Glimmer can't withstand the magical drain SW is taking from her. She's just not good people... And if she has such a total lack of love or compassion for Catra, it's a logical jump that she has just as little love and feeling for Adora.

Anyways... let's work on that season 5, phew, I know this is long. We're not done yet, though...

----Part 2: The present up till SW’s Death----

Alright, so returning back to season 5 where we began...

Catra is certain that SW is killing Adora. And the reason Catra is so certain of this is because she understands this fundamental truth behind the childhood abuse of of her and Adora. She knows that SW intended to use Adora, and was grooming her in order to use her to gain more power. And, she knows the true nature of SW’s abuse of Catra herself, that it was meant to destroy her so she wouldn't get in the way of SW using Adora.

How exactly Catra knows this I won't cover here, it would take too long and it deserves its own theory post. But, it is pretty well confirmed in the show as well. No distractions! Moving on...

So… when Adora tells Catra she will take the failsafe even though SW is killing her, it's Catra’s knowledge that SW is for certain doing this to Adora which leads Catra to shake in fear, and then refuse Adora once she returns with the failsafe. This moment goes much deeper than just Catra knowing she can't live without Adora, although that is also true.

Ok so here it is, the big theme we will now delve into, that explains so much:

The all important, crucial thing that Catra isn't seeing is that in order for SW to sacrifice Adora, it is entirely dependent on abusive manipulations is SW doing to both of them, starting from the moment they first see SW in season 5, which are intended to make sure Adora doesn't survive deploying the failsafe.

I know it's a tough implication to accept, but I promise to explain. So why? Why would SW not want Adora to survive? This, atleast, should be obvious: She-ra could stop SW once she has the power, so She-ra is an enemy that SW needs to eliminate to achieve ultimate power. So, SW's goal is to get Adora to bring the failsafe to the heart, but then be too weak to survive the process... leaving SW the uncontested champion by her magical vampiric powers. And so... SW manipulates the two girls, doing her most familiar trick: driving them apart, making them feel isolated from each other.

Her manipulations begin from the very moment Catra and Adora see her in season 5, and they continue up until Adora accepts the failsafe and a bit beyond.

So let's lay this out from the beginning, shall we? Episode 10: When SW walks into the room, saying she knows where the failsafe is, Catra is at first surprised at her appearance, she's thrown off guard. Catra very much wanted to stop SW once and for all, but never got the chance. And now, the new, more feeling Catra is faced with her oldest enemy: she can't hide her hatred and anger at her. It pretty much takes everything she's got not to violently attack her right there and then. But this new Catra isn't going to sink to that low. And yet... SW will intentionally aggravate and attack Catra to reactivate her trauma.

What I find very interesting about that scene, though, is that both Glimmer and Adora immediately look to Catra, knowing she will be upset, both trying to help her. And yet, it's Glimmer who looks first.

Even though Glimmer never says it out loud, Glimmer knows SW played and manipulated Glimmer herself, and that her manipulations were ultimately the reason that Glimmer made the mistake of activating the Heart, which brought Horde Prime's fleet down upon Etheria. Glimmer also watched SW torture and almost kill Catra in s3ep4, so I think Glimmer knows very well how dangerous SW is and how badly she's hurt Catra in the past. Instead, we can take the story of Glimmer and SW as another stand out example of how, once again, we saw SW manipulate someone, Glimmer in this case, with no concern for her well being.

>Adora is also thrown off by SW's reappearance, she doesn't enjoy seeing her either. But then, she also sympathetically looks to Catra, knowing this is a hurtful moment for her. All of this is to say that Catra actually has strong allies against SW, unlike in the past. And it's very important that Adora is such a staunch ally to Catra against SW, in fact it's everything. But, Adora doesn't quite do a good enough job in showing Catra how strongly aligned she, too, is against SW. Unintentional though it may be, as we will see.

>Episode 11: Continuing on, Glimmer immediately opposes SW's desire to use the heart's power. Castaspella tries to say SW is the lesser of evils, but of course, Castaspella is just a pawn. Catra jumps on Casta's words, calling SW evil... SW taunts her back mockingly and we see Catra's anger start to get out of control. But, Adora knows, one way or another, that SW is the root of all of Catra's pain, and so she comforts her, showing her that she sees her pain, and that she's got her back.

Again, it's very important that Adora is Catra's greatest ally against SW, as she has learned to treat SW as a de facto enemy because she has seen the pain and torment Catra experienced because of SW’s abuse; in addition to her own knowledge of how SW manipulated herself as a child.

>Adora confronts SW, asking why she even needs their help getting the failsafe. SW answer is a lie, but plays to her manipulation of Casta, who she needs: she says she can't get past Micah. (Note: who she actually needs is Adora.) As SW tells her plan she leans into Adora's emotional fears of letting others get hurt and reminds Adora she has to be the hero, SW even touches Adora, which we see Catra react angrily to. But, SW successfully manipulates Adora into accepting her plan, and Catra can't stand to watch it as she knows it must somehow be a dangerous manipulation. Catra quietly leaves to try to process her anger. We then see Adora slap SW's hand away, showing defiance, but as Catra has left, she probably doesn't see that. Adora looks around and sees that Catra is gone, which SW responds to by trying to manipulate her into leaving Catra behind, as she knows Adora is more vulnerable without Catra around. But Adora is wary of SW's manipulations, and goes after Catra. SW is aggravated by this.

>The two girls have a very good, emotional talk about SW. Catra is dismayed, but Adora is always brave for others, so she tells her she's got to try. Adora acknowledges Catra's pain, their pain, from SW's abuse. Ultimately Adora convinces Catra to come. Together, Adora says SW can't hurt them anymore. Catra reminds Adora how dangerous SW is, but the girls have reaffirmed their bond, their promises to each other. Which is important later, as this will come up again.

>As they infiltrate Mystacore, Catra is apprehensive and stays at the back. But as the mission progresses she drifts towards the front, trying to be the lookout so she can protect Adora. This, unfortunately, puts her in physical proximity to SW when they check the ritual chamber. Catra checks the chamber, but then a sorcerer appears out of nowhere (literally, how??) and SW grabs her in a way that's very reminiscent of s1ep2, traumatizing her.

I can't help but conclude SW is being intentionally hurtful in order to unnerve Catra. She could have just pointed, or put her hand to Catra's mouth, after all. Catra throws herself away from SW, demanding she not touch her, and makes the mistake of dropping the spell and revealing their presence. Look closely at this scene and you see Adora actually shows great anger, even violent intent towards SW for doing this to Catra, but it's so quick Catra probably doesn't see it, as she's staring down SW instead.

Under a track, Adora tries to become She-ra, but she's too emotionally conflicted since the episode before when they returned to the Fright Zone and Adora started to realize she's been letting Catra down, leaving her hanging. And SW's hurting of Catra also blocks Adora, she's trying to help Catra and yet she's accepting SW's guidance again, which she knows Catra hates and doesn't trust.

>As they pass through the door and continue down a corridor, Adora sees Catra is in emotional pain and holding herself, so she lends her emotional support. She knows SW touching her was incredibly abusive. She tells Catra that it'll be ok, and to trust her, hitting her with her dearest look of love and care for her. She knows SW is Catra's enemy, and she's got her back. Catra looks back, trying to trust her, to put her fear aside. But the moment is cut short when SW interrupts them, guilting Catra for revealing their presence. Adora walks on, saying they have to keep moving, and her face says she's doing it to stop SW from talking to Catra, but again, Catra doesn't see Adora's face. Catra feels left behind, that the moment was cut short. It's by the barest off margins Catra is missing how strongly Adora is coming down against SW for her sake.

> We get more information about SW's corruption next, that it's a way to bypass the crystal of Arxia and get at Heart of Etheria's energy, and we know this because it's discussed immediately after Castaspella tells them about the crystal of Arxia. So, if the magic is released, SW will have practically unlimited power. SW just mocks Casta when she tries to guilt SW over using the spell, she gives no apology. We see both Catra and Glimmer seemingly have a deeper realization about SW and her powers and that both of them look disturbed by it.

>Continuing on, we get the scene where Catra saves Adora from fire, which is so cute but I'll skip the romantic implications: as Catra walks through the fire, Adora stops and frets over not knowing what to do about Catra, how to give her what she wants. Adora is worried she's going to fail, that she could die. It's Adora's biggest, lifelong fear as the bearer of She-ra, and she struggles with it continuously throughout the series. To her, it therefore doesn't make sense to her to get Catra's hopes up too soon.

>Adora's thoughts naturally turn to her inability to transform... and SW pounces on the opportunity in order to exploit it.

Consider now, if Adora's problem is becoming She-ra, why does SW immediately give her a hard time about Catra, instead? Adora rejects SW's criticism, but SW flips the conversation telling Adora she can't be a weak She-ra and seemingly blaming it all on Catra. She tells Adora that her weakness means she's letting everyone else down. SW tells her she has to focus, and Catra makes her weak. This is terribly the opposite of the truth and SW knows this. What she’s really doing is a deep manipulation of Adora that leans on her early abuse of her: Adora has to be perfect for everyone else, and as she's the only one who can do it, she's totally alone in this burden. The truth is that Adora has always needed other people, that's where she draws strength from. Catra loves Adora simply for who she is: she represents the strongest, smartest and most dedicated person, ie, she's the most powerful person to help Adora with her emotional need for support.

Which SW knows, so she does her best to try to separate them, to make Adora think she's alone. SW does this by grouping Catra with everyone else: save everyone, or no one. Then she delivers a direct assault of Adora spiritually by saying "the world needs She-ra right now, not Adora". She's telling Adora that she doesn't matter, only She-ra matters, and she needs to be willing to give it all up to be that hero. We see Adora search SW's face, she's not satisfied and then she does her best to reject her, pulling her hand away in anger while saying she will stop Prime “no matter what.” Catra is eavesdropping on this, but can't see that Adora stands up to SW so strongly... as usual. Catra knows SW is up to no good with it, though. Doubt takes root in Adora, and it aggravates her fears that she's not good enough to be She-ra.

>Arriving at the failsafe chamber, SW gives away just how much she already knows about the Heart. SW explains the failsafe, and so we know she always planned on getting Adora to accept the failsafe, risking it all. Adora approaches, trying to be brave for everyone else.

One of Catra's most important moments follows: she stops Adora from accepting the failsafe, and calls SW out for her bullshit. She's not going to let Adora walk into a trap when she knows better. Catra flips it on SW, telling her to take the failsafe, making SW tell them why it's dangerous, why SW won't do it herself. She points out how SW knows too much, yet didn't pursue the power of the failsafe. Catra is totally certain that SW wants to hurt Adora, and so she's calling her out to get SW to reveal her manipulation of Adora.

SW instead tries to guilt Adora, saying she alone understands that this is the only way to stop Prime. But Catra stands firm, she protects Adora from SW's manipulation as best she can.

Confronted and trapped by Catra's having seen through her plan, we see literally every person in the room ally themselves against SW. SW is forced to admit the truth: using the failsafe will mean death even for She-ra, if she isn't strong enough.

And so Adora realizes what's coming, that She-ra is the only one who can do it. She's terrified and sad at the thought that this could, will, be her end; that she really will have to give it all up for everyone else. She's always thought she'd have to. It's a deep held belief that she's alone in her burden as She-ra.

Adora asks the obvious question: What happens if I die? SW's next words prey upon Adora's every weakness, her lack of belief in her self worth, and innate need to protect others: "Then the magic will be restored to Etheria, through your sacrifice. You will give us the power to bring us to victory. Prime will be defeated. Your friends will be free." SW is listing out every last thing that will happen if Adora doesn't do it, and each is a part of her greatest fears. Adora is unable to resolve between her distrust of SW and need to protect and be brave for everyone else's sake. SW has her trapped by her own emotions.

Catra looks on, watching the manipulation, seeing the consequences of Adora attempting this. Everything about this moment speaks to manipulations SW has used on Adora before: she preys on emotional need and weakness, she isolates Adora in her burden, she even does the dreaded ear touch. If Adora does what SW says, Catra knows it'll be the death of her.

As SW completes her manipulation, everyone in the room cries out against the unfair decision Adora must make. And yet, Adora doesn't see a choice. Catra puts it best, saying: "you don't care about Adora, Adora can't even care about herself!"

But Bow's words also have meaning: "Theres no way we're risking Adora like that." For all that Bow and Glimmer have done for Adora, she's still supposed to be the champion that's going to save them. They need things from her, not simply Adora as herself. All in all, Bow and Glimmer did their absolute and kindest best to help Adora, often emotionally supporting her through her depressions and fears of not being a good She-ra. But in the end, they still needed her to be She-ra.

But Catra is different, all she wants is Adora, and for her to be safe and loved, and ideally, to be with her. Catra's opinion in this moment is the true one, the most honest. But Adora can't overcome the thought of failing everyone, and so she pushes forward, saying she will take the failsafe.

Adora is feeling alone, trapped by fate. Catra runs to her, literally shaking her in order to try to convey how sure she is that Adora is going to die if she does this. But Adora can't let the universe die, and she's She-ra. She (Adora) doesn't matter. It's only what she can do to try to fix things for others that matters, her hero's burden. Adora pushes Catra's hands off her, in a lifetime of pain and sorrow Catra has never looked so sad. Adora really is pushing her away, not seeing how seriously Catra feels, how badly she needs Adora to understand her in this moment. A dissociated Adora looks internally, accepting her fate, alone again, isolated.

Maybe Catra could have found a way to get through to Adora, but they run out of time. A chipped Micah shows up and begins to systematically defeat them, and Adora has no more time to choose. SW is easily taken down by Micah, it shows his anger at her. He taunts her, she's got nowhere to hide. This is interesting, but not our focus..

Adora again tries to summon She-ra and fails. She simply can't resolve between her sense of failure to Catra and her need to be brave for everyone else. She looks to Catra, decides to do the brave thing as herself, not as She-ra, even if it means she will fail, and hurt Catra. After all, since she’s She-ra, she has to try, right? This is her burden.

As SW turns to Adora and says "the failsafe... we... we can't" Adora is pressed by urgency, doing what she can. Catra tries one last desperate plea: "Please. It doesn't always have to be you!" Adora can't accept this, internally she is certain she has to save everyone. Even if this includes SW herself, and so when Catra later says Adora chose SW, not her in this moment, Catra is right, except that Adora believed she had no choice. Adora is also the only one in this moment who can reach the failsafe, and so it seems like fate is against her. Adora knows she's probably choosing to die, and if she does, she knows Catra will probably die of a broken heart as well. She really does choose SW over Catra, in a way. It's a tough moment, but taking the failsafe is the right thing to do, given the circumstances.

Receiving the failsafe is intense, and as Adora tries to withstand it, Micah binds the entire party with dark magic. Interestingly, this means SW indoctrinated Micah more than we're shown, and now that he's chipped, he is uninhibited.

Adora sees everyone is in danger, if she doesn't come through now it's all over. It gives her that singular focus she needs, summoning She-ra is easy because if she doesn't, Catra, all of them, are about to die.

Failsafe achieved, Micah vanquished, Adora offers Catra her hand, she's trying to show Catra she's there for her, they are together. But Catra rejects her, she's too sure that SW has won, that Adora will die. In this moment all the old trauma Catra carries is too strong, and SW has unnerved her too greatly. As Catra runs from her, Adora realizes that Catra was trying to tell her something deeper, but somehow she's missed it.

>Catra watches Adora sleep, she's emotionally distraught at the thought of her dying. So, she tries to sneak away. Adora finds out, and manages to confront Catra before she can leave. This is one of the most heartbreakingly beautiful scenes about love in this show, but I'll just cover how SW's manipulations come into play...

>Adora tackles Catra, and demands she explain why she’s leaving. Catra throws SW's words back at Adora, that she's a distraction, that she makes Adora too weak to be She-ra. Catra knows this was a unfair manipulation by Shadow Weaver, but she couldn't see, only hear, what happened between Shadow Weaver and Adora. She doesn't know that Adora rejected Shadow Weaver so strongly, both spiritually and by violently pulling away from her. Adora tries her best to get Catra to see that she's not doing this because of Shadow Weaver's manipulation, that she's trying to rise above SW's control of her. But Catra pushes her away, instead trying to speak to a more central truth: Adora's need to serve everyone else's needs, her inability to regulate her desire to make things better for others who are hurting or will get hurt, and balance that against her own needs and safety. She's speaking to the part of Adora which Shadow Weaver is exploiting to get what she wants from her, to control her. It doesn't really matter in this moment to Catra whether Adora is doing it for Shadow Weaver or not, because either way Adora is allowing Shadow Weaver to win. Catra wants Adora to be better than a slave to her emotional need to help others no matter the cost or danger. She's asking Adora to be strong in herself in a way Adora has never been able to be. She challenges her, asking "What do you want, Adora?" The obvious answer, Catra believes, is her. But Adora is too worried she will die and let Catra down to let her romantic feelings about Catra manifest and make it real between them, and taking the failsafe has made Adora all the more doubtful of her own survival. Adora counters "I have to do this Catra, I'm the only one who can." It's all to say that Adora is alone in her burden, and she accepts it and its consequences because she's She-ra. Adora doesn't believe she has value, or deserves happiness unless she can save everyone, including Catra.

Adora believes as She-ra, she is totally alone in her burden. This is wrong of course, Catra does see her and understands her burden, and is the one person in the world who wishes to share that load with her, unlike the other princesses who need Adora to be a hero and save them. But both girls are weak from their deep traumas which Shadow Weaver has reaggravated, and they can't overcome them. Catra resigns herself to the belief that Adora is unable to rise above her most basic emotional need to serve others, telling her "Then do it. That's what you want, that's what you'll always choose." She can't stand to watch Adora kill herself so willingly to serve everyone else, all while letting SW win. She rejects Adora, and turns to leave. Adora desperately begs Catra to stay, wanting her to uphold their promise and telling her she needs her, but is unable to vocalize her desire to be with Catra romantically. Meanwhile, in Catra's mind, Adora is just going to let herself die, and if she does, then Adora never really needed her after all... all Adora cares about is being She-ra. It's harsh, but true... even if what she's doing about it is so wrong.

It's a painful moment for both of them, and it's horrible because Catra is so clearly breaking their promise, the one that Adora restored to Catra she came to rescue her from Horde Prime. And yet, her leaving will work in the end. Catra gets Adora to see how crucial it is that she not let Shadow Weaver win, to let Shadow Weaver get whatever she wants by taking that cost from Adora's own life. And it's how Adora finally becomes too strong for Shadow Weaver to ever manipulate again.

>As Adora returns to camp, still crying from Catra's abandonment, Shadow Weaver tries to swoop in and make her manipulations of Adora take their final hold. She tells Adora she "made the right choice, don't let Catra convince you otherwise, she's never understood." Dreaded ear touch and all. By saying Catra can't understand, Shadow Weaver tries to make Adora feel alone in her burden as She-ra, seeking to weaken her spirit. But we see a total shift in Adora's attitude as she rejects SW’s cruelty and manipulations entirely. Her words carry incredible weight and speak to how she's so clearly seen through SW's malicious manipulations of the two of them. "Stop. I will never forgive you. You ruin people. You ruin any chance they could ever be happy." Adora just watched Catra reject her and abandon her because she couldn't stand to lose Adora again over SW's manipulations. It's by knowing Catra's pain that Adora is able to finally deny Shadow Weaver any sliver of control over her. As always, Adora couldn't do it for herself, she couldn't resolve between her deeper need to save everyone and SW's plans to use her for her own gain. But Adora is strong for others, and so she's strong for Catra. By leaving, Catra has given Adora the ability to rise above any manipulation Shadow Weaver can do to her.

Adora stands up to Shadow Weaver once and for all in her next words: "I'm going to take the failsafe to the heart, and I'm going to save Etheria. But I am not doing it for you. I'll do everything I can to make sure you never get your hands on the magic." (pic1, fyi) Note the exact words Adora speaks here as we will return to them later, they are important. While Adora has seen past SW’s manipulations, and seen that Shadow Weaver only ever desired power, she doesn't realize how SW's childhood abuse of her and attempts to manipulate her in the present are making her too weak to survive deploying the failsafe. To get past that, Catra must help Adora.

EPISODE 12: We watch as Adora struggles to become She-ra, but eventually manages it. She's seen through SW's plan after all, and so she does her best to believe she is strong enough to win on her own, to survive the heart. But she misses Catra desperately. She rallies her people, and ends her speech by saying resolutely that she will take the failsafe to the Heart and destroy it. It's an incredible speech, Adora has become a wonderful leader, but then she looks up and sees Shadow Weaver hiding in the back. As SW meets her gaze, She-ra's form falters and we see Adora's face for a split second. She's furious at her, that she hurt Catra so badly that she ran away.

Adora moves away from the group so they don't see her lose her She-ra form because of the turmoil she feels over Shadow Weaver and losing Catra. Bow and Glimmer check on Adora, knowing she has a tendency to try to sneak away so people won't see her risk her life. Glimmer is perceptive and asks about Catra, she knows it's Catra that Adora needs, that her being gone is tearing Adora up inside. Glimmer is a great friend to the both of them. Adora voices concern for their safety if they come with her, but Bow and Glimmer know Adora needs support. And so they will try their best, even though they know Adora is heartbroken from Catra leaving her.

>Buoyed by their support, Adora goes to the ruins to try to face her final task, to overcome it through her own strength alone. Bow and Glimmer take her hands, we see Adora does her best to set her fear aside. And yet, as they enter she wonders where Catra is, whether she will come back to honor their promise.

>Catra looks back, also experiencing pain over their separation. She has not been able to overcome her trauma, and manage her feelings. Well isn't it just nice to have a telepathic therapy pet! Melog stops, and forces her to actualize her feelings and process them. At first Catra tries to deny them, saying she won't go back, but Melog sits on her. She cries, saying out loud her deepest feelings. Let's take this one in steps. "You saw what happened, A-Adora chose Shadow Weaver, not me". In a very real sense Adora did do this, she pushed Catra away in the failsafe chamber. She ignored Catra's warnings and, in Catra's mind, committed herself to death at the hands of SW's manipulation. The next line is one of the most important in the series, but we will only cover it briefly as it's romantic implications are best discussed elsewhere: "Adora doesn't want me, not like I want her." We get to see one of the most honest truths about Catra: she is an intensely romantic person, and has always had the most incredible dreams of them being together. But a lifetime of pain has told Catra that it can't be real, or atleast, not for her. It is deep seated trauma that blocks her, trauma Shadow Weaver started and then aggravated against her, making her leave Adora just moments before. Catra is, in a word, furious that she's come this far, having dared to dream once again that the two of them could be together and in love, only to have SW come in and take that from her once again.

Let's take a moment to consider how Catra is doing as she adapts to her new emotional way of dealing with the world, as she has shifted her perspective since rejoining Adora: The old Catra might have simply struck SW down, maybe even killed her to remove the threat. But now, Catra doesn't want to do that but is expected to trust in Adora’s ability to overcome the threat through her inner strength, and the through the strength of her community. But, as far as Catra could see, Adora just accepted her death as necessary rather than fighting SW’s manipulations. And this worries her, and it's why it's so important to Catra that she not let Shadow Weaver win, so Catra leaves to make sure Adora gets the message. She's wrong to do this, and she realizes this after opening up to Melog. Adora needs Catra to have faith in her, because without her support, there's no chance Adora overcomes what Shadow Weaver is trying to do to her.

>Glimmer watches the doubt play across Adora's face. She doesn't know how to make it better, since Catra isn't with them. She asks her if she's scared, and Adora answers back as truthfully as she can: "No, I just really hope this works." She's putting on a good face while trying to believe there's a chance, but when Bow tells her it's going to be a whole new world when she's done, Adora doubts. Can she even survive? Will Catra be gone forever? The next scene is, of course, very romantic. We see that Adora has always loved Catra, just like Catra loves Adora. The magic is trying to remind Adora of her own desires, her wants. Let's not get too distracted though: as Adora moves on, vowing to not let the magic distract her, we see her She-ra form falter, she's still fighting despair and loneliness. Bow and Glimmer don't know what to do...

>Catra sees Horde Prime begin hacking the planet and knows Adora is in grave danger of not succeeding in her last, unselfish mission before Prime stops her. Catra can't let this happen, also, since Melog has helped her process her emotional pain, she's ready to support Adora in any way she can, even if it means her hopes and dreams of them being together will be unfulfilled. She tries to rush to her side.

>Adora is panicking and unable to resolve her feelings of failure to Catra, She-ra is in danger of fading again. She sees the sword as she saw it back when she first left Catra, her hand goes to the failsafe on her chest, the thing that made Catra reject her after she accepted it. She tells Bow and Glimmer she can't escape her destiny. The words "I'm losing her" speak to a deep held belief by Adora that she's not worthy of survival because she feels that she has never been able to help the one person she truly loves, making her no hero. All of the manipulations of Shadow Weaver, Horde Prime, even Light Hope are crushing down on her. She believes she has to accept her fate, to die to fulfill her duty as She-ra. It's the price she has to pay for not being good enough, for hurting Catra when she left her to become She-ra. She thanks Bow and Glimmer for their love and support. "I never could have done any of this without you." Bow and Glimmer did everything they could to prop Adora up, get her out of her depressions when she felt she wasn't good enough to be She-ra. But they still needed her to be She-ra, and therefore they can't help her get past her deepest insecurities. To do that, she needs someone who has unconditional love for her. She needs Catra. Adora leaves Bow and Glimmer behind, trying to protect them, so that only she will have to die.

>Catra finds Shadow Weaver patiently waiting to receive her power, to be able to achieve dominion over everyone else. SW tells Catra "She's gone to the heart of Etheria to free the magic and become the hero she was born to be." The dead hero, that is. As SW tries to guilt Catra, calling her selfish, she glares back. She stands up to SW, rejecting the manipulation: "Enough! This isn't about you and your messed up power trip anymore!”

In this moment, Catra shows us how clearly she understands SW's goal. She calls her out perfectly. She tells SW that Prime is infecting the planet to take the heart, which changes everything, including for SW.

>As Catra leads SW, having forced her to cooperate, they see Prime's broadcast and Catra knows they have to act. She demands SW take them to Adora, and doesn't accept her lies. She knows SW can do it with magic, and demands she comply. Her words hit home "So do something good with it for once and help me save Adora before it's too late." Notice the similarity to when Glimmer asks Catra to be better on Horde Prime’s ship. SW is trapped, she has to comply. If Adora doesn't reach the heart, no magic for SW, universe ends. Catra accepts SW's hand, though it hurts her to do so.

>Catra and SW arrive in the corridor. As Catra gets the truth from Glimmer, she's dismayed. "Of course she's gone, that's what she does, isn't it?" She knows in this moment that Adora is consumed by fear, her inadequacies. As she finishes briefing Bow and Gimmer on the situation, she tells them she will stay to help Adora, and she invokes their promises to each other. It's an important moment, as it is the two of them together, their promises to each other, that gives them the strength to surpass SW's manipulations of them. Glimmer knows Catra is in love with Adora, so she leaves Adora in Catra's care. Bow’s words are important as well, speaking to the power of the Best Friend Squad. It gives Catra a boost to her morale, a belief that maybe there's a chance she and Adora can overcome the odds they face.

>Adora looks out over Etheria, seeing its beauty. Mara joins her. Adora tries to promise Mara that she will save the world, everyone, at any cost. Mara flat out rejects this as wrong, she doesn't let Adora promise. Mara confronts Adora on her decision to die for everyone else. When Mara asks her what she wants, Adora says it doesn't matter, that she's She-ra. Again, an isolationist view, a lonely burden, just like SW wants her to believe. Mara tells Adora that she, Adora, has value as a person, not only as a hero, and that she deserves love, too. As Mara tells to not lose hope, Adora is emotionally moved but you can tell she's still struggling to accept Mara’s words because of her feelings of inadequacy and loneliness. Mara manages to pass some courage to her, but then Horde Prime cuts them short.

Prime leans into Adora’s fears, threateningly. Like SW, he knows how to exploit her. He was in Catra's head and so he knows what Catra knows. He tells her that her failure is imminent, that she is already defeated, like the other She-ra's. The guardian monster then strikes and infects Adora, and she finally loses her grip on her She-ra form. He tells her even her own people didn't want her to make it to the heart, telling her the whole world is against her, and that she's totally alone. She tries to counter this with defiance, but the virus has her. She knows she's in trouble.

----Part 3: Final Moments, and Death, of SW----

>Episode 13. Adora is in pain, trying to understand the nature of the infection. The monster towers over her, it has only to reach out to deal the killing blow, she's defenseless. Suddenly Catra shows up, engaging the monster. Adora's only concern is for Catra's safety, telling her to leave her because it's too dangerous. But Catra has decided: she will do whatever it takes to give Adora her chance to save the universe, if that's what she wants. Even if it means Adora has to die. She tells SW to get Adora to the heart, which Adora objects to. SW is looking closely at Adora and seeing her illness, evaluating. As Adora begs for Catra to not leave her, Catra tells Adora she'll catch up. After all, they are the best friend squad. Bow's words have given Catra a small amount of hope that maybe it'll be ok. Adora, now that Catra has finally shown up, is desperate to not lose her again, and knows fighting this monster is too dangerous for her alone. But she's sick, and unable to help her. SW takes Adora unwillingly towards the heart.

>Catra is doing her best, but the monster is too much, even for her. She tries to slip away, seeing the virus continuing to spread. She's trying to get to Adora, who’s alone with SW. Horde Prime stops her (no keep running!!) and she gets caught. He mocks her, telling her he expected better. But Catra has already surpassed his greatest expectations, and she'll stop him yet... as the monster catches her, she cries out in anguish. It seems the cruelty of the universe has caught up to her again, after all...

>As SW tries to bring Adora to the heart, Adora's sickness is rapidly advancing. She demands SW wait, but she's too weak to resist. The thought of losing Catra again is weakening her spirit and allowing the virus to take over. SW tells her not to lose her focus, she's still hoping Adora will deploy the failsafe before dying. But then the virus seemingly attacks Adora's heart and SW watches the failsafe nearly fade out. SW looks up, she's close enough to already siphon power from the heart. Her lust for power is apparent.

As Adora hears Catra’s scream, she forcefully pushes herself from SW, and starts to go back for Catra. SW calls for her to wait, but Adora leaves her behind.

This is it, the turning point. The great moment of truth: SW now realizes, in utter totality, that she's never going to get to have the power. It's one of the most important moments in the series, and what happens next is the culmination of all of the hard emotional growth the two girls have been doing.

>>Quick interjection: we’re about to get emotional here... (well, I do). Just a light suggestion to check your surroundings. <<

Shadow Weaver now realizes that, even if she were to drag Adora to the heart, she would be too sick and heartbroken to deploy it. It's over for SW, either she dies now, with everyone else in the end of the universe, or she dies giving everyone else, including the girls, a future.

Remember as well, Adora has told SW that she would do everything she can to make sure she never gets the power. Adora is too strong against SW's manipulations, something Adora learned from seeing the pain Shadow Weaver caused Catra through her abuse. I mentioned that the exact words Adora used when she rejected SW the night before were important, so let's return to them: Adora told SW she would deploy the failsafe, and also that she will block SW from getting the power for herself. But as she said all of this, about saving the world, the universe, she doesn't say one, very important, word.

Promise.

Adora may have dedicated herself to being She-ra, but somehow in that moment she knew not to promise to SW that she would deploy the failsafe to save the universe, instead only saying that she was going to find a way, while making sure SW doesn't get the power. We saw that Adora later tried to make this particular promise to Mara, but Mara threw that out, telling Adora to be better, to rise above her lack of self belief.

A promise was made, though. She promised Catra. Their beautiful, childhood promise, the one she so casually broke way back when, her greatest mistake. And so Adora goes back for Catra, to be there for her, to try to help. If this Catra's end, she will be there for her... even if the cost is this high. She can't just let her die alone. She is honoring their promise...

And so… Adora finally… after all this time, puts Catra above her duty as She-ra. Her love for Catra is more important than fulfilling her heroic duty, and so SW can no longer manipulate her into giving up her life so SW can get the power. The girls have, in fact, transcended her manipulations, and as Adora leaves SW standing by the heart, SW is totally alone and without anything, anyone, left. She is, in fact, defeated by the girl’s love for each other... and so as SW looks towards the heart, she finally... makes... the right... choice. She gathers enough power from the heart to fight the monster...

>Horde Prime mocks Carta as she tries in vain to resist being pulled towards her death. When he invokes Adora's name, saying she will die, Catra shows her sadness, disappointment, at having come so close to being with her. He mocks her again, asking her if it was worth it. Catra shows defiance, then sorrow. The answer is yes, of course. Catra was willing to lay it all down to give Adora her shot at saving the universe, she's honoring their promise as best she can even if this is Adora's final act before her, and their, deaths. Catra has total belief that in this moment, that she needed to sacrifice herself for Adora. It seems like the natural outcome of fate, of the cruelty that is SW's and the universe's betrayals of the two of them their entire lives...

Heroic. Fucking. Music. SW shows up, charged from the Heart to take Catra's place. She's going to do one heroic and worthy thing of remembrance before she goes, since she is defeated and knows she won't get to have the heart's power.

Carta's disbelief is total, she can't understand how SW would ever do this for her. Her manipulation of them their whole lives was so total, so unfeeling. And yet, here she is. SW tells Carta to get to Adora and run. She forces Catra back and blocks the door. Catra still can't understand... and we finally... see Shadow Weaver show some actual real remorse for how empty her life is. She begs Catra to take Adora to the heart, to set the magic free. The one thing SW is dedicated to is magic, and she knows releasing the magic will restore the planet. Catra points out the obvious, that SW will die. Part of the reason Catra is so broken up by SW doing this is because Catra had just accepted her fate of dying in order to give Adora her chance to save everyone: Catra was willing to die for Adora even if Adora never found the courage to want Catra the way Catra wants her. And now SW takes her place? It doesn't make sense to her, as SW is a greedy person.

Shadow Weaver’s next series words are some of the most important in the entire series. And this is also the one redeeming quality she has... that she is a teacher. And she’s about to tell Catra something very, very... important.

She says: "It's too late for me." All her manipulations towards getting the power at the cost of the girls lives have been torn down, they've completely moved past her, she has no place in their lives anymore. The girls have learned to love each other so loyally that SW is done, finished.

"But you... this is only the beginning for you." Catra listens to this, searching for the deeper meaning... "I'm so proud of you, Catra." I think we all agree SW being 'proud' of Catra is a devastating line, Catra doesn't need or probably even want her abusers approval. I also think it is a lie, everything about SW says she's unable to feel actual compassion. But SW is a mastermind, and I think she's telling Catra she has respect for her. Catra ended up being the greatest enemy SW ever faced, she was so smart that she saw right through every manipulation SW made, and in the end, SW couldn't touch her. But theorizing aside, we see Catra cry... somehow, someway, SW finally seems to be showing Catra some amount of good in her, and so she cries, wondering where it comes from…

As Catra brings her hand back to uselessly flail at the barrier, Adora catches it. Catra looks back at Adora, surprised at her reappearance...

… right then we see Catra suddenly look away from Adora. It's quick, but we're seeing a dissociative moment: this is Catra realizing something very deep, and very meaningful...

Catra realizes, that in this moment, SW has chosen to do something that is much more than just dying in Catra's place.

She has given Adora to her.

All of Catra's life, Shadow Weaver has stood between her and Adora, love was a thing Catra was not allowed to have. But the girls, together, have transcended all of her abuse and manipulation. They have seen through her plan and risen above every cruelty, and have blocked SW's manipulations to use them for her own gain. And so, a defeated SW chooses now, to give Catra the most beautiful of gifts...

Catra puts it all together, filled with clarity: SW is telling her that Adora doesn't have to die, she can survive this. That they can survive the Heart!!! And Catra is the key, as SW has told her: "This is only the beginning, for you."

Catra is now given this knowledge freely by SW, and thus given hope. SW stands before them, totally defeated, in awe of Catra's incredible growth and cunning and that she was able to see through her plan, and how strongly the two girls have come to love each other. So, SW is giving Catra her fullest respect, and as a last act before her death she is passing Catra newfound hope that the two of them can overcome this, that they can survive...

Shadow Weaver removes her mask, showing Catra her face. It's not a face of manipulation, as we expect, no, there's respect, even, dare I say, gratitude. SW didn't have to do this, Catra knows that. And yet, Catra managed to show SW something she never expected to see. And so, by outthinking and so totally defeating her, by making SW see that all her manipulations were discovered and therefore wouldn't work no matter which way she turned, and by getting Adora understand the urgency of not letting SW win, Catra has won this final, beautiful gift…

“You're welcome…”

As Catra watches SW make her final sacrifice... her one good deed... she looks on, stunned. Life is never quite so simple as you think it is, and since returning to Adora, Catra has seen so many acts of generosity she didn't really believe were possible... and now... this...

Catra lets Adora cry for a moment, then tells her they have to go. Catra is filled with new urgency... they will face this final challenge together. As she resolutely carries Adora towards the heart, she knows she's now in charge of their fate... and as they face this final task, Catra is searching for a way to save Adora, and to save their love once and for all...

All of this has huge implications for what then happens with the girls when they reach the heart chamber, but that's a topic better discussed another time…

Some final notes here. It's my belief that Shadow Weaver is the overarching villain of the story, who spans all seasons of She-ra, and is far more important to the plot than Horde Prime is. Furthermore, understanding Shadow Weaver as this kind of villain is a stepping stone to explaining many other important plot points in the series, and we can build on it to understand a lot of the most important moments in the show.

My personal belief about this story is that the writers had such a diverse room of people of LGBTQIA+ and other backgrounds, each with their own trials and pains they had to overcome, that as a team, their goal was to bring to light as many of these struggles that they could. But as for this most central story, my guess is they wanted to tell us a story about overcoming real darkness that exists in our world, as well as Etheria, because sometimes that's how it is. And so the right thing, the only thing to do is to overcome and move past such people, to not let them control your life.

All this is to say that I think the moral of Shadow Weaver in the story isn't about finding the good in her, but about rising above her and the fundamental darknesses that we all sometimes face. And our girls do this through love, at no point do they use violence. And that makes this story very, very... special.

Thanks for reading. Until next time…

~EtheriaDearie

P.S. :: as I am new to tumblr, if you enjoyed reading this, please consider giving me a reblogg! Thanks!! 🙇💛

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steve0discusses · 4 years ago

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Yugioh S5 Ep 20: Pharaoh’s Cool New Trick

Digging my way through quite a pile of commission work (funny how these things only come all at once or not at all), nearing the light at the end of the tunnel, was looking forward to some free time to catch up on my many little side projects when I was asked to take off for a weekend to do some cat-sitting to which I would NEVER say no to a cat, so like...Rip this blog I guess, we only update like once a week nowadays, but what do you do?

That’s right, play Puzzles and Dragons! The only phone game worth paying any attention to! Where they just released Pegasus on their Yugioh Collab and he looks pretty great!

So I’m just gonna take a second for some art appreciation, because the Puzzles and Dragons art team is just A++++ honestly, and yes, I did pull 13 times to get a Pegasus in my monster box, and yes, he is a completely insane team leader that is absolutely broken when paired with Yugi (the numbers are so satisfying) but...look at him. He looks so good!

(also I finally got Joey Wheeler, and so now my gatcha cravings are settled. And, don’t worry, I play this game so much that I was there during Christmas when they offered like a bajillion stones for free so I didn’t actually use real money on this.)

Now PAD also released a Weevil and Rex, and I don’t know why, and neither does the art team because they still look pretty good but in comparison to all the mains, they sure do looks like just some shorty guys in some casuals.

though I gotta admit, I want to learn how the hell this art team does swooshy effects, because man, that would make my art so much better to just have flames violently exploding out of all my art. Why am I not doing that more often? I have the technology.

anyway, I didn’t bother trying to pull them. Maybe I’ll accidentally pull them when they eventually release a Duke Devlin. (also, RIP to the fact that Roland will probably never be in Puzzles and Dragons but like...I can only send them so many polite letters covered in stickers pretending I’m some 10 year old child and writing in my broken Hiragana “Roland in PAD?”. Thems the breaks. (They also might not remember who Roland is.))

Shoutouts to the card that Weevil is holding that is censoring this nipple on the booby spider, PS.

So because this is not actually a Puzzles and Dragons blog, and it’s been ten eons since I regularly updated so I could remember episode to episode...where the hell were we?

That’s right, we’re on an island now. This show’s wonderful obsession with evil islands (and spoiler, this is one of the few Yugioh Islands that doesn’t explode at the end. Mostly because Kaiba isn’t here to do it or this place would be cinder)

(read more island stuff under the cut)

Anyway, after announcing “hey guys! Screw islands!” Yugi immediately collapses and without any warning.

Apparently the armor is a big ol parasite, which is something that Yugi is so used to at this point that he refuses to admit that this is a problem. Just normal Muto stuff, refusing to tell anyone that he has a serious illness going on underneath that giant mass of hair.

(the sailor moon vibes coming off this weird orb energy)

Sort of feels like a call back to S1 when Yugi was clearly possessed and everyone else was like “He acting weird to you?” except it’s S5 and everyone has learned to never trust Yugi when he says he’s fine and they are responding like he is about to die. Which is correct.

Outside of the cave falls this scroll that is...glowing, I guess. So they open it up and get a bunch of hieroglyphs that give them the “riddle of light” and like youknow...it’s riddle stuff.

They’re doing this riddle for “wings.” And it’s like...everyone’s monster here has a set of wings or an ability to fly. Every single monster except for I dunno, flaming swordsman? Hell, Yugi himself had two sets of wings when he fused with Dark Magician (which was weird, and I still don’t like to think about what technically was going on there.) But we have to go and get ourselves even more wings.

Weirdly, Joey turns to Tea and does something that in any other show would be completely normal. He was like “you want to stay here with Yugi, don’t you?” and it was the first time Joey has ever actually addressed the fact that Tea and Yugi are close. Uncharted territory. I was amazed at the amount of casual shipping that is happening here. It’s almost like a normal ass relationship.

So the boys decide to go off, and be boys and tackle this themselves. And they shouldn’t have, because Tea is smart for this group, and also has the only healing spell.

Like if you’re playing D+D you wouldn’t typically leave your only healer behind. Just saying.

Also like...Grandpa Muto went with them? I guess he’d have to since he’s the translator but also...kind of weird to leave your grandson dying in a cave, but maybe that’s just the Muto lifestyle.

Do not be fooled by my caps, no one has addressed the Bakura in the puzzle for 3 seasons. I’m starting to think this show will never address the Bakura in the puzzle. Which honestly, that would be hilarious if they made a big deal out of that plot point and then couldn’t use it in the end.

And speaking of plot points that kind of come out of nowhere and don’t make full sense with the continuity of the show--Joey has regressed back to the 4th grade.

Hey show? What?

So like if you love Joey, this is not the arc for you, because this arc he is reduced to a Himbo and nothing else. Straight up didn’t know what an echo is, but is very strong and pretty, I guess.

This inevitably happens with any TV show becuase different people make different parts, and I’ve brought up before that sometimes it feels like some teams only have loose post-it notes of what any character should be like at any given point (ESPECIALLY with Seto Kaiba’s timeline) but like...

...Personally I’m mot so fond of this interpretation of Joey, kind of ignores Joey’s best traits, and makes Tristan look way too smart in comparison (and like I always pinned Tristan to be the Himbo of the group, but maybe it’s because they give Tristan so little else to do?)

And like don’t get me wrong, Joey’s a dumbass a lot of the time and needs to get corrected by his pals...but...to the point he doesn’t know what an echo is? He’s a dumbass in a High School student sort of way, youknow?

Anyway, they get down to this big ravine, and they have to destroy this stone while the light passes over it. Kind of feels like a Breath of the Wild shrine quest, actually. In fact, I think Breath of the Wild recycled the shadow/sunlight pathing quest like 4 or 5 times. (I love Breath of the Wild to death but boy did they run out of ideas at the end there.)

They have to fight a glass monster and it’s kind of like...do you know the game Balls 3D? probably not, but it looked like a bunch of random shapes stuck together like a 90′s animation. They basically went to war with shapes.

Pure Himbo energy, has several pokemon, but punches for his pokemon instead of using them. A power move if I ever saw one.

Youknow that would make pokemon a lot more interesting if you could like throw out your pikachu, and then choose to just physically run up to your opponents Eevee and sock it in the jaw. Raise of hands--I know you all would love a version of pokemon like that. Let Ash Ketchum punch a Ratata.

Bro has informed me that Ash does do something like this in the anime. But I’m not talking about the anime, I’m talking about the video game. Give me the option to physically combat my rival. This is what I want, Pokemon.

They discover a way to break the monolith, and the show thinks we’re like actually 7 years old (because the show is Y7, although I forget because it deals with so many dark themes) so the show is going to hold on to this puzzle for a while...just to fill time. And it’s fine because we gotta switch over to Pharaoh anyway.

Yami has this dream again. He attempts to fuse with Dark magician to overcome the dream, but alas, he is still not strong enough.

Yugi wakes up in this murky cave while Tea is out washing out like...some rag? (he’s also still got a rag, so I guess multiple rags were required for how sweaty Yugi is.)

Yugi says “I feel like I’m a new man!” a lot in this episode, and every time he calls himself a man like he’s some sort of adult it’s very funny to me.

And then this plot lore dropped.

I mean I guess inevitably it had to happen...

But man, end of an era. It was freakin hilarious while it lasted: that Pharaoh refused to read ancient Egyptian because it’s like 2002 and he is a High Schooler living in Japan and he actually doesn’t WANT to resolve the mystery of the puzzle. Maybe the people who made this arc don’t know about how in S2 and S3, the fact Pharaoh couldn’t read Marik’s back tatt was like...a really big issue. He couldn’t read the God card, he couldn’t even read that massive tablet that read “HEY PHARAOH THIS IS LITERALLY YOU”. KAIBA had to tell him how to read the God card for him. Freakin Seto “Magic is a lie” Kaiba had to tell him how to use the God Card because Pharaoh couldn’t read it.

But like...Pharaoh finally gave in at some point after the world was devoured by the Leviathan, and before Kaiba finished building Kaibaland (which was already built in S1 but wtv)

The timelines on this show have always been a mishmash...but this one is just like...

...show are you trying to convince me that at any point in this show after season Zero, Pharaoh had any idea what he was doing? Did he sap that brain energy straight out of Joey Wheeler so he could do this?

Wow.

(secretly hoping he forgets how to read Egyptian after this arc is over and the show goes back to the other development team)

Pharaohs reasoning is that, if this is the riddle of the light.....

....then where is the riddle of darkness????????????

and when Tea was like “Pharaoh that is not even remotely logic. Omg it’s so bright outside, lets go back to gross cave.” and Pharaoh was like “Tea! You got it!” and she was like “What the hell are you talking about?”

Not gonna lie, I saw the Orichalcos green, and I got concerned.

Anyway, Yugi gets very frustrated and was like “ugh, lets go save em. They’re gonna die (again.)” and marches down there as if he didn’t pass out an hour ago.

And he fuses with Dark Magician again while everyone else (including his grandpa) was like “Yugi are you freakin kidding me? The suit freakin kills you omg! Tea you had one freakin job!”

And then we get the plot twist that...I mean it makes sense but it was choreographed in a confusing way.

And out of no where this guy shows up again:

So this mysterious man shows up and says “If you don’t succeed you have to live here forever” which...nice...that would probably save the world a lot of problems if Yami got locked away and took his OP puzzle with him. And then this man also says “if you do succeed you become VERY POWERFUL” and Yami was like. “...”

This whole episode had a theme to it, where Tristan and Joey were trying to prove that they could do things on their own and without Yugi’s help. And honestly...felt a little bit misplaced. Yami’s the same guy who murdered Yugi last season with the Orichalcos so like...

...I mean he is probably more reliable than Tristan who once died and turned into a robot monkey for 10ish episodes.

and then they flew into a glowing door.

Folks, this was wild to look at.

This is wild.

And at this point I closed Photoshop and thought I was done. But then I looked at my timeline on the video and was like...wait...there’s more?

and I’m really glad I kept watching because it went back to Alex, who...is apparently just still at those steps in this haunted ass Pyramid.

Now we’re watching Yugioh.

I forgot for a second when they turned Joey into a Himbo and made Pharaoh literate, but we’re back. I mean...

...look at the liner art on this adult man.

So...I posit the question...has Alex spent the last 2-3 episodes doing nothing but applying eyeliner to his face in the dark? Because he absolutely has. And honestly, the vibe of being in a spooky haunted pyramid with barely any light, just applying eyeliner down the edge of your face...that’s a Yugioh vibe, if I ever saw one.

This arc is wild. Anyway, next episode we do even more fetch quests and riddles? Just going to guess now that we probably will.

(and for those new here, this is a link so you can read them from the top. Which, since we’re in S5, means you got like...hours of Yugioh content to read through. Enjoy the rewards of my weird hobby.)

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

#Yugioh #Yu-Gi-Oh #yami yugi #S5 #Ep20 #It's actually Ep 20 now I was wrong last time #Yugi muto #Grandpa Muto #Alexander the Great #Joey Wheeler #Tristan Taylor #Tea Gardner #TeaxYugi #never thought I would ever use that tag #in this show where they are canonically dating but sometimes it happens #Puzzles and Dragons #Because yes I had to talk about it. This collab is great

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brimstvnehqs · 3 years ago

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So after a long hiatus away from writing I’ve decided to come back and I’m looking for some more rp partners for discord! You can find my rules HERE and my WID page HERE. Or if you’re mobile then they are both on the pinned post on my blog.

Right now I am looking for some OC ships and below I have posted some plots that I would like to do. However I am not limited to these and I’m happy to discuss other plots if you have something you want to do, or if these plots just don’t do it for you but you still think we’re a good match! Please note that genders in these plots aren’t set in stone and can be switched up as either mxf or fxf!

If you’re interested in please do either IM me or simply like this post and I’ll come to you!

BURLESQUE: Kinda based on the movie. So either good girl moves to new city and gets a job in a burlesque club, where the bad boy already works as a waiter. He helps her to fit in and the rest is history. Or good guy moves to new city and gets a job as a waiter in a burlesque club where a femme fatale works as a dancer.

OPPOSITES ATTRACT: Muse a is a rich, successful person who lives in a mansion in a gated community and seems to have it all with their child. Muse b is living pay check to pay check in a one bedroom apartment downtown, who has given up hope on furthering their career. Muse b takes a job in Muse a’s home and they hit it off but not without obstacles on the way. Muse a gives Muse b the motivation to work on their career and Muse b shows Muse a there’s more to life then work.

PARTNERS IN CRIME: Both are monster/demon hunters, forced to work together and neither are happy about it. They constantly bicker and blame each other for everything, until maybe day it causes them to mess up and one gets seriously hurt (maybe even turned into a vampire or werewolf.) After that things change and they slowly the hate turns into love.

BAD HABITS: Very vague plot but just give me two people who are friends with benefits and even though they keep saying that’s the last time, they still go back to one another. They made a deal that feelings wouldn’t get in the way, until one becomes involved with someone else.

INTO YOU: Based on Ariana Grande’s Into You music video, Muse a’s a superstar, her life isn’t her own and she’s plunged into the limelight. She’s in a PR relationship with a jerk who’s only using her for his own clout but her manager won’t let her leave. Muse b’s her bodyguard and one of the only people who treats her like a normal person. They start up a secret relationship, always sneaking off together and falling madly in love with each other. They want to go public, but he knows he would lose his job and the scandal could really effect her career.

DIFFERENT WORLDS: The typical one’s a vampire and one’s a werewolf, think Underworld: Rise of the Lycans. She’s the vampire princess, living the easy life in the darkness. He’s a werewolf solider, created and trained to kill every last vampire since the war started thousands of years ago. His next target? The vampire princess. But what happens when he comes face to face with her and imprints on her? We could even do this but gender swap. Also bonus points if they’re based on more traditional style vampires and werewolves, maybe like Underworld.

MR AND MRS SMITH: I want to do a plot after the movie, maybe they’re on the run and just trying to survive together. We can just create our own OCs if preferred but still keep the plot of the movie.

PART OF YOUR WORLD: Another brief one, but I would love to do a plot with a mermaid fascinated with the human world and befriends a human who at first doesn’t know who they really are. Give me cute moments of the mermaid learning human things and the angst of knowing they can’t be together but trying to find a way. Basically the Little Mermaid but our own modern day version.

ONCE UPON A DECEMBER: Heavily inspired by Anastasia, it can be set in modern day or in the past. One helping the other to try and remember who they are, but we can decide if they’re royalty or not.

FAME: Muse a is a famous star, used to living in the limelight and dealing with the media, fans and everyone knowing their business. Muse b is just an ordinary person, who just so happens to be dating Muse a. Just a cute but angsty plot of Muse b trying to come to terms with now having their life plastered over the internet and everyone having an opinion on them.

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE: tw: crime, prison, drugs, alcohol. Muse a has had a bad life, getting into the wrong crowd at a young age and turning to drugs and alcohol. At 18 they are arrested and put in prison for armed robbery. Muse b is a do gooder, glass is half full and can never do no wrong kind of person, who volunteers at the local prison to talk to the inmates and to listen when needed. This is where muse a and muse b meet. Muse b helps muse a find the motivation to change their life once they get out. Now that muse a is out of prison they go to find muse b to carry on the friendship and for help as they try to get settled in a normal life away from crime. The friendship quickly turns into romance but what happens when muse a’s past comes to haunt them and old friends try to get them back into a life of crime?

#discord 1x1 #discord rp #oc rp #1x1 rp #1x1 roleplay #plot bunnies #1x1 rper #discord roleplay

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dean-winchesters-gardian-angel · 4 years ago

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The Same Bed - Chapter 1

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Summary: Friends are there to help each other out, but can they help falling for each other when all the long days they spend together turn into late nights. Can they help it dispite their reliance on each other.

Word count: 2845

Warnings: Fluff, angst, nightmares, slow burn.

A/N: Here you go peeps! Chapter one has arrived and is ready to be consumed. Read it, enjoy it and I’ll see you on the other side. There is also a tag list, so be sure to tell me if you want in, as well as a masterlist so be sure to check it out. Unbeta’d all mistakes are mine.

Series masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She and Dean would always watch a movie together before they would go to bed. It was something of a tradition they had. After a case, they would pick a movie and watch it in Dean's room seeing as he had the bigger T.V. More often than not Dean would fall asleep before the end of the show leaving Y/N to turn it off before heading to her own room. Given the hard work he put into hunts and the fact that he’d usually be the one to drive them all home afterward, it’s not like he hadn’t earned it. Y/N would rarely wait till the end of the show once she realized Dean had fallen asleep. She would silently turn off the T.V. and retreat to her room, but tonight was different.

She had dozed off slightly, still chiming in at the louder moments of the show or when Dean would laugh. After a while, she could hear the credits roll as Dean lifted a blanket over her shoulders. Y/N was in the state where she was aware of her surroundings but couldn’t bring herself to move or make any noise so there was no point in trying to get up. She felt Dean slide down I put his head to his pillow, the blankets rustled slowly as Dean made an effort to stay quiet as not to wake her. The movie had fished, and the lights had been turned off and now, as she trailed off once again soothed by Deans breathing, he followed closely behind her, the both of them drifting off in tandem.

The dream, or more so dreams she had, were ones she had been familiarized with. Hunter dreams, one could call them. Images of monsters and ghosts, angels and demons, blood, death, and deals. But she had a favourite. It was always the last she would have before waking up, which was fitting considering how many times he’d saved her in real life.

Dean.

Y/Ns last and favourite dream was of Dean. The dream's plot was typically different front the last, but he was consistent in his appearance. Dean was always there. Y/N hadn’t gotten that far in her dream cycle though. Not tonight.

She was awakened suddenly by a cry coming from behind her. The frightened girl spun over in her spot distinguishing Dean as he gripped the pillow, he was sleeping on in the darkness that surrounded them. It had taken her a moment to realize she had stayed in Dean's bed. He had been whimpering for minutes as she tried to shake him out of his nightmare.

“Dean — Dean! Please wake up Dean. It’s just a dream come on wake up, please Dean, please.” He finally woke, startlingly quick and flipped her over and pinning down her wrist. Growling, his face inches from her, anger in his eyes, his grip tight on her arms. She was terrified. Looking up at one of the only people she trusts, she spoke cautiously as not to startle him further, apprehensive of the situation she was in.

“Dean? It’s me...it’s Y/N” his eyes began to soften, aa his grip loosened, “It was just a bad dream Dean, you’re okay, you’re safe.” Her voice was barely over a whisper. Dean moved his hands from her wrists, that had been left red from the tight grip he had them in, too alongside her, lowering his head to her shoulder as he brought himself closer to her body. He slowly rested himself on Y/Ns body hugging her desperately. She reciprocated the embrace reaching up around to him to hug him back slowly and hesitantly. She felt him shutter. It shattered her heart into a million pieces knowing that Dean was so broken, seeing only now how well he had covered it up around everyone else.

“Shit! — I’m sorry” he sobbed still resting his head on her shoulder.

“Dean, it’s okay, hey, don’t worry about it, okay?” he nuzzled closer to her pulling her in tight. All she could do was close her eyes and hug him back, gripping tightly to his shirt. The two of them stayed there for a very long time. So long, in fact, that Y/N had pondered the possibility that he had maybe fallen back to sleep though she knew he hadn’t, she could still feel the rigidity in his body. At once, Dean lifted his head and body off of her, turning away from her instantly.

“I’m sorry — this was — I- I really shouldn’t have put that on you. I’m sorry I kept you here, you probably want to go to your own room and sleep. And I’m sorry for scaring you, really I didn’t mean to hurt you it was— I’m sorry.” He had sat up against the headboard avoiding eye contact, staring blankly at the sheets on his lap. Y/N sat up turning to face him, her shoulders leaning against the headboard. He looked exhausted.

“How long have you been having nightmares?” He didn’t say anything. “Dean?” She whispered sliding her hand over his in an instinctive gesture of reassurance. He looked up at her when she did so, making her pull away quickly in realization.

“Sorry.” He turned away again touching his own hand now where hers was just seconds ago. “I’ve always had nightmares. Ever since I was a kid.” he looked like he was holding back tears, though she didn’t mention it. Dean was the ‘Tough Guy’ who would never shed a tear, which to Y/N made her even more worried about him at that moment, though he had just cried on her shoulder an instant ago.

“Every night?” She questions. he shrugged as he reached up to drag his hand down over his face, bringing the potential tears with it.

“Most nights. That is when I manage to fall asleep.”

Y/N looked at him and all she wanted to do was hug him again, tighter, never letting go.

“I always left before they would come, wouldn’t I?” He smirked sadly and nodded still looking down. “Can I be honest with you Y/N?” He had straightened out but still hadn’t look her in the eyes.

“Always, Dean that’s what I’m here for.” He paused for a second figuring out how to piece together his thought to make a comprehendible statement.

“I pretend.” She didn’t understand what he was getting at and so she didn’t answer hoping he would elaborate. He did so, after glancing at her briefly, almost as though he was looking for someone he knew was already there, he just had to make sure.

“On our movie nights... I pretend to fall asleep. I pretend so that you would leave. That way you don’t have to witness what you did tonight. I’m sorry. And then tonight… I didn’t want to wake you. I figured maybe I’d be okay tonight. Guess I was wrong.” He was looking down at his covers again.

“Dean, that doesn’t even make sense. Why would you pretend if I’d have left after the movie anyway?” He made a ‘good point’ frown and nodded his head.

“I just- I didn’t want to accidentally fall asleep before you and have this whole situation happen. I was trying to avoid this, and it worked.” He looked disappointed but Y/N could tell it was with himself.

“Dean why wouldn’t you have just said you’re too tired for our movie nights. It’s not like I would have blamed you I mean you deserve a little rest.” He looked up to her quickly with a desperate expression on his face.

“No! I don’t — I love our movie nights Y/N, they’re great I don’t wanna stop having them and —“ he sighed his look saddening again as she turned away from her. “Maybe you’re right. I shouldn’t put you in that kind of situation, I’m sorry.”

“Hey! Don’t make this about me, if you like our movie night then we’ll keep ‘em going. They’re sorta the highlight of my day anyway. I don’t care that you have issues, Winchester. I can deal with that but don’t shut me out because you’re scared of what’s behind the door. We can open it together; I’m not ditching you because you have nightmares.” Y/Ns confession had done a great deal to lighten the mood. He was looking at her now and not just quick glances, he was holding eye contact. “Why don’t you go back to sleep Dean, try to get some rest, I’ll stay here, watch over you.” She shrugged rubbing Dean's shoulder in hopes of calming him and easing him into saying ‘yes’.

“No!” It didn’t work. “It’ll just happen again either you leave or I’m not going to sleep.” He looked exhausted, pleading for her not to insist or her proposition any further.

“You can’t be sure it’ll happen again Dean, who knows maybe your subconscious will be put at ease with knowing someone's there for you.” She was making a good case though he wasn’t convinced.

“Don’t you think that would have worked earlier?” Indeed, he had a point, but Y/N seemed to think otherwise.

“No, because earlier you went to sleep thinking you had to protect me, now you can go to sleep while I protect you.” Dean looked more and more convinced with every word she said but never entirely persuaded. “Dean you’re drained, you need to sleep, okay. If anything happens then I promise, I promise, I won’t push you any further. But you don’t know until you try.”

After a pause and without a word Dean lay down pulling the covers up his chest, arms resting over himself, stiff as a board. He was too caught up with scenarios running through his head to notice Y/N's triumphant smile. She didn’t move from her spot, leaning against the headboard watching Dean. His eyes had yet to close for more than the split second it took to blink, and Y/N couldn’t help but find his stubbornness endearing as annoying as it might have been.

“Sleep Dean, you’re safe, I’m here.”

“That's what I’m worried about.” He side-eyed her or more so looked up to her without moving a singled tensed muscle. Y/N, without a word, took hold of his hand interlacing his fingers with her own and leaving it in his chest.

“Sleep Dean.” Little did she know how much her hand in his relaxed him. Not that Dean had seen it coming but it was a reassuring gesture that took his mind off the occupying thoughts. Slowly but surely the burdened man that lay next to her fell into a restful sleep, Y/N not far behind. Her eyes drifted closed steadily as she lay on her side watching Dean's chest rise and fall, their fingers still interlocked.

Dean was skeptical of the idea, to begin with, but was in utter shock when he woke to Y/Ns alarm going off on her phone. To be fair, Y/N wasn’t entirely convinced of the plan either but acted as those she believed to keep Dean from reacting poorly to her staying. Dean hastily turned off the blaring noise that persisted next to his ear before turning to face Y/N, who’s hand was still lazily holding his. Dean couldn’t help but smile, admittedly well-rested or at least more so than he would have been, had she listened to him and left. She was moving around trying to conjure the will to open her eyes, which eventually she did, immediately gazing into Deans. She could identify a mild smile as they lay facing each other.

“Thank you.” He squeezed her hand which she was only now realizing was still being held. “For staying…For being here for me, protecting me.”

“That’s what I’m here for…Was that my alarm?” He nodded at her still smiling. “We should get up. I want pizza.” He chuckled at her sudden desire for Italian food.

“It’s 9 am and you want pizza?”

“It was in my dream, we were eating pizza only it was really, really big and we couldn’t finish it so we gave it to Sam who was actually a dog. It was weird, but now I want pizza.” He watched her get up and pick up her belongings as she explained.

“That sounds like an awesome dream.”

“How about you? More nightmares?”

“Actually, no. For the first time in God knows how long; no nightmares. I didn’t dream of anything as a matter of fact, which I’m considering a huge win. Y/N, really, thank you.”

“No need to thank me, Dean, it’s the least I could do. I’m just glad it worked, and you managed to get a little shut-eye.”

“Shut-eye! Are you kidding me I feel like I slept a full 8 hours!”

“That's ‘cause you did. We got home around 7, ate dinner, the movie started at around 9 ish, you had your nightmare at around midnight, and it didn’t take you very long to fall back asleep once you allowed yourself to relax Dean. You were passed out by 1 at the latest and woke up to the alarm 8 hours later.”

Dean looked astonished and overjoyed that he had managed to stay asleep for 8 hours.

“That’s — wow! I slept!” Y/N couldn’t help but laugh at Dean's good mood and the childish grin on his face. “What do say I get you that pizza, huh? As a way of thanking you.”

“Dean I already told — no you know what, yeah I want pizza, let’s go.” She said as she marched out of his room set on heading to her own and changing out of her PJs.

“Okay, but we’re sharing! Y/N?” He yelled out after her, smiling to himself at the magic she pulled. Dean followed Y/Ns lead in getting changed and ready for the day.

They spent the day looking for cases and, with no luck, turned to the television to spare them of their boredom. Y/N and the brothers eventually called it a day after finishing the third or was it the fourth movie together. Y/N made her way to her room, as did the boys, to put on PJs after showering. She made her way back to the bathroom to brush her teeth and waved Sam goodnight as he slid into his room. There was a knock on the door and Y/N opened it, halfway through brushing her pearly whites, revealing a shy looking Dean.

“Cah I hell ou?” Dean's expression went from shy to confused in just under a second.

“What?” Y/N took the toothbrush out of her mouth and spit out the rest.

“I said can I help you.”

“No, you didn’t you said kahlalala ooo”

“Shut up, what do you want?” They laughed in unison before Dean settled down resorting back to the shy demeanour he initially had.

“I — Well I was sorta hoping that maybe, you know if you’re cool with it, that maybe you could come to my room and possibly stay there with me again tonight — I mean —“

“Are you asking me to sleep with you?” She found her joke funny enough, unfortunately, Dean was too worried about asking her in the first place that he panicked.

“No! Well, yes, technically but that not what I meant! I was just—“

“Dean, oh my god, relax, I was just teasing. Of course, I will, in fact, I was about to head over to your room once I finished in here to see if you wanted company again tonight.”

“You were?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Right, yeah, okay.”

“Are we good?’

“Yeah, yeah, super good.”

“Okey dokey then Dean-o, let’s go”

Dean made a face to express his disapproval at the nickname she had appropriated for him as they made their way to his bedroom and successively got into bed. Once under the covers, Dean spoke, voicing his natural uncertainties.

“Are you sure about this?”

“As long as you wear a condom.” Dean turned his head to face her, unamused by her joke, a frown on his face. She looked to him while doing her best to hide the smirk on her face though falling miserably.

“Hey, you asked me here Dean.”

“Y/N — what if I lose it tonight what I was just lucky last night.” “Do you want to hold my hand?” Dean paused before answering. “Would that be okay?” Without answering Y/N lifted her hand for Dean to take and he did.

“Sleep, Dean. You’ll be fine.”

She was right once again. Dean awoke around four in the morning still holding Y/Ns hand, his body and in turn, face mere inches from hers. He hasn’t managed to sleep in due to the 8 hours the night before and the uneventful day. He watched as she slept soundly. An hour passed before Dean decides to move, kissing her forehead after whispering a ’Thank you, sweetheart.’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 2

Tag List: @just-someone-difficult @mila-dans @akshi8278

Series Tags: @wellfuckmyexistence

#fanfic #spn #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #Dean x Reader #Dean x you #Dean Winchester x Reader #Dean Winchester x you #Dean #Dean Winchester #spnfamily #spfanfic #Dean fluff #fluff #the same bed series #spnfanficpond #Dean Winchester x female reader #spn fanfic series

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sirenprincess15 · 4 years ago

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Please Don't Leave Me Chapter 11

Title: Please Don’t Leave Me

Author: SirenPrincess

Description: What if Aleksander hadn’t answered the door when Ivan interrupted the war room kissing? What if Aleksander and Alina had a bit more time to get to know each other before Baghra told her his true identity? Alina is the only one who can comfort Aleksander through his nightmares. Will she leave once she knows who he is?

This story is based on the show version and features a soft on the inside, hard on the outside Aleksander with an emphasis on emotional hurt/comfort and angst. If you are looking for lots of hurt!Aleksander thoughts, then this story is for you. Mal exists but pretty much solely to cause Aleksander some angst. Don’t worry. It will be a Darklina ending.

Chapter 1 is a missing scene at the end of Ep 4, and Chapter 2 takes place alongside Ep 5 and then diverges from canon there.

Pairings: Aleksander Morozova/Alina Starkov, bits of Ivan/Fedyor

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Grisha are oppressed in this universe, and I don’t shy away from showing the horrors of that. There may eventually be mentions of canon-typical torture (Fjerdan pyres), death of family members, and cruelty to Grisha children. It’s not the focus, but that backdrop is definitely there and comes up as characters discuss their past.

In this chapter: Alina learns the truth about Aleksander's identity and confronts him. Can their relationship survive?

Recommended music: P!nk Please Don't Leave Me

Chapter 11

The creak of the door opening pulled Aleksander’s attention from the maps in front of him. His men were following the Stag where the tracker had spotted it, in Fjerda, and there was no way there that wouldn’t endanger them. He trusted his power to protect them when he joined them, but they needed a sure plan to minimize any risk of running into the Fjerdans. The situation was stressful enough without worrying if Alina would cooperate willingly. He refused to let his mind go over the possibilities if she wouldn’t. He had to remain focused on the priority, which was assuring her safety. He had learned that lesson well. Amplifier first, details later. He was so distracted that he didn’t really look at who was at the door until they entered. He had expected Ivan with an update, but to his surprise, it was Alina. Perhaps she had come to her senses and had come to apologize.

“Were you ever going to tell me?” she snarled.

For a moment, he thought she meant about destroying the Fold, but something had dramatically changed in her from even earlier. The hatred in her eyes left no question as to what she meant. He stared in disbelief a moment, but he was sure. She knew his true identity. He wondered how she had found out, but it was a fleeting thought. To see her give him that look he’d seen so many times before, disgust mixed with hatred and fear … it stopped his heart. The entire world seemed to shatter around him as he realized all he was losing in that instant--Alina, not just her powers, no he would find a way to control those, but her partnership. The girl who always managed to surprise him and make him smile, she was gone, as was the girl who had dared to ever try to comfort him. Instead, she was replaced with someone possessed by the disgust and fear of so many who had come before her.

“So you could look at me like that?” he asked. “No.”

“Black Heretic! What? You said I could say it!”

What did she want him to say? Perhaps she was just so full of anger that she couldn’t resist screaming at him until she could not speak anymore. He shrugged. He did not feel like having this fight. He just wanted to close his eyes and realize that this was another nightmare.

“Was it all a lie then? An act for me? To manipulate me? The scared little boy who was overwhelmed with the ancestral guilt and shame of a mistake that happened hundreds of years before? You created the Fold. You isolated and nearly destroyed Ravka. You didn’t care about the people in the way you hurt because you wanted power. You’ve killed thousands with the Fold. You killed my parents!”

He wanted to scream back at her, to remind her who she was talking to. He never let anyone speak to him without reverence, but she had always been different. He couldn’t stand to let her think that. “It wasn’t all a lie. It was … as close to the truth as I could explain. If I had told you, would you have trusted me to protect you? To get you help with your power? To work together? I never meant … I didn’t want people like your parents to get hurt …”

“More lies! You wanted to make the Fold! You wanted to show how very powerful you are. You only cared about proving how strong you were, how much better than everyone else you were. Tell me, did you enjoy making people so scared? Did you cheer when you turned men into Volcra?”

“Who have you been talking to?” he hissed through gritted teeth.

“Baghra. You know, your mother. Left that bit out too, didn’t you?”

So that is what his own mother thought of him, that he’d plotted the whole thing and enjoyed the pain he caused. That rejection stung like a hornet, but he’d accepted his mother’s disapproval some time ago. It was the hatred in Alina’s eyes that tore him to the core.

“So you talked to Baghra and you know everything now, is that it?” he raged. “You know everything about that day? How it all happened? You’ve got it all figured out, have you? You. Know. Nothing!”

“Then tell me!” she screamed back, not backing down at his anger. She had never been intimidated by his authority. “If you wanted me to know your side then why didn’t you ever tell me?! We have been sleeping together for months, Aleksander. You had every opportunity to tell me! So let’s hear it. Tell me what it is you’d have me know!”

He raised his hands to cast darkness around her face. A small shot in her direction would be enough to temporarily deprive her of oxygen and knock her out. Ivan could resuscitate her. They’d keep her captive until they had the Stag, and then they’d use the amplifier to control her power. It would be simple, really. He didn’t need to have this conversation, but when he tried to pull his power to send her direction, he just couldn’t rid himself of the image of her comforting him through his nightmares. She was always so gentle with him. She never mentioned it again when he was out of one of his spells. She never looked at him with anything but love. Until now. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing all of that forever. But what choice did he have? What path didn’t lead to more pain? She would never forgive him. The hate and disgust would never leave her. His head couldn’t shake those brief moments of heaven she’d given him in her arms. He couldn’t harm her, not even if he wanted to. There were no words to make her understand, and yet, somehow, he had to try. Slowly, he lowered his hands. Now they seemed more like they were begging her to stop her verbal attack than they were yielding what had almost been his physical one.

She seemed to realize what had almost happened, what he had stopped himself from doing for her, because she seemed softer now. “Just tell me?” she begged.

“Alina, have you never made a mistake? Thought you were doing the right thing to protect people, and then suddenly, everything was all wrong? You said you feared you would be the new heretic if you messed up. Well what do you think happened to me?! You listened to the accusations of an angry old woman who has always wanted me to be alone. Don’t believe her.”

“So tell me. If it was a mistake, then tell me. What happened?”

He swallowed. He’d never tried to talk to anyone about that day. How did he even start? “I didn’t create the Fold on purpose. To understand what happened, you have to understand what led to it. I was in so much pain …” No, he realized. He couldn’t just start with the mistake and say he had been hurting when he had a lapse in judgement. No, he had to go back, so she could truly understand, but that meant going back to Luda. “They …” The word ‘killed’ wouldn’t cross his lips. He couldn’t get the image of Luda, helpless, her arms tied behind her back, begging him for help as they … “She …” he tried again, but no more words would come. He saw them stab the sword through her heart. He yanked to free his wrists of the bar that rendered him helpless to use his power to save her. Oh how he had loved her. He’d tried to protect himself because she was bound to die sometime, but he hadn’t been successful. There was nothing he could do to save her. As many times as he saw this nightmare over and over again, nothing in it ever changed. He was helpless. And she died. Because of him.

A single tear slipped down his cheek. He tried to blink back the rest. He couldn’t let Alina see him like this, not now, not while she hated him. He had to pull himself back together, but he found that without the anger, he was left with only pain that he could not control. Without the monster he unleashed to send darkness to protect him, he was vulnerable and hurt … and he couldn’t let her see …

More tears were falling. He could not erase the image of Luda’s anguished face … until it became Alina’s that they were about to murder in his nightmare.

Alina reached out and caught his arm. It was only in that moment that he realized that he was hyperventilating the way he did when he awoke from his nightmares. He couldn’t catch his breath. His throat was swelling shut. He would lose control of the shadows next if he didn’t get himself under control.

“Aleksander?” Her voice was suddenly full of concern.

She’d used his real name. Not the Black Heretic, not you, not even Kirigan. Aleksander. He dared glance up and saw her eyes had changed. She was worried. About him.

He opened his mouth to speak, but he found himself frozen staring into her eyes. What could he possibly say to stop the hatred from coming back? He wanted to stay just trapped in this moment where her eyes actually cared again. But how? He was so petrified at the idea of losing … her … in any sense he was facing losing her, and he could not survive it.

“You’re trembling,” she whispered. She fully wrapped her arms around him. “Let’s just go sit down on the chaise. Okay?”

He was confused why she would show him kindness now, but as he couldn’t manage to get his emotions under control, at least not without unleashing darkness so strong it might kill half the creatures in the woods, he found he could do little more than nod. He would have done anything she asked in that moment, to keep her gentle touch on him. She led him through the war room to his bedchamber. Sitting on the chaise, he simply stared into her eyes. He wanted to memorize every detail of this look, so he could hold onto it forever after she hated him again. He found himself matching his breathing to hers as she often had him do after a nightmare. And then she released her light, her warmth to envelop them. After some time, seconds, minutes, an hour, he wasn’t sure, he found he could swallow again. “Thank you,” he finally managed to whisper while hopelessly praying that wouldn’t mean the moment was over.

“Let’s try again,” she commanded. “To be clear, I’m still really pissed at you, but I do want to hear what you have to say. Perhaps with a bit of the truth this time?”

He nodded, but he wasn’t sure he was any more able to fulfil her request than he had been before. “I’ve never talked about it with anyone,” he confided. “It’s never not been with me, every waking nightmare, but I’ve never tried to put it into words. Without the monster that growls at anyone who gets close and uses the dark to protect himself … I’m not sure the man who is left can talk about it.” He wasn’t making much sense, he realized, but he hoped she understood.

“Let’s try,” she insisted. “Aleksander, you’ve lied to me about who you are from the beginning. How can you expect me not to believe Baghra’s version if you won’t tell me yours? I want to know if you’ve just been manipulating me this whole time or if … if …”

“No!” he gasped. How could she think that? “What I felt for you was always real!”

“I cannot truthfully return it if you are hiding who you are from me. So tell me. What drove you to create the Fold? If it wasn’t for power and control, then … what?”

He took a deep, shaky breath as he tried to think of where to begin to help her truly understand. “They were hunting Grisha, burning us on the pyres. Nowhere was safe. Ravka, Fjerda, Shu Han, they were all the same. Grisha were tortured and killed everywhere. We fled from one location to the next. My entire childhood. Once, they burnt … he was … I thought we could be friends if we stayed--he was just a child like me … right in front of me. I can still hear his screams. And the cheers of the otkazat'sya as he burned. Baghra said we couldn’t flee until it was over or they would suspect us. And then when it was clear, we would move on. But the king … when he discovered my powers, he thought I could have a use. Win his war. And I thought … I thought if I could show him that Grisha could be useful, could be allies, then he would stop the killing of Grisha. That I could help keep Grisha safe.”

“But that didn’t happen.”

“I won his war, but then they came for us to kill all known Grisha. All, Alina. They wiped out entire villages. Women. Children. It was my fault. I know now. All of their deaths are on me. I brought more attention on us. I should have known the king would never trust Grisha even though I was loyal to him. Luda … she was … my … lover? That word doesn’t seem to cover it. I loved her. I tried not to, but I did. They came for us. Shot me full of arrows over and over again. And then again. They think that Grisha cannot feel pain, but mortal wounds still hurt the same even if they do not kill you. Those scars, I still feel them. She … she … she …” He took a breath and focused on Alina. He had to stay focused on the now and not get lost in the nightmare again. She grew the warmth of her power to calm him so he could continue. Her sun could always soothe his darkness. “They killed her right in front of me. To punish me for being what I am. Hands bound behind my back, I was powerless to protect her. She was a healer. She was good and caring. She never harmed anyone. And they slaughtered her. Because of my stupid mistake of believing that people might accept us if we helped them. Because of me. Her death is on me.”

“And that’s the nightmares?”

He nodded his confirmation. “Sometimes the nightmares are of her death. It’s worse when they are of yours. I created the Fold because of the pain I was in for what they did to her. They would have kept coming until we were all dead. It was going to be genocide of our entire people. I needed something to defend us. I had never imagined the Fold. It wasn’t what I wanted, not what I was trying to make. I wanted an army to defend us, to protect Grisha so no one else would have to feel what I felt! What Luda felt when they ran a sword through her just for being Grisha. But the Fold came out. It was a mistake. Baghra warned me that Merzost is unpredictable, but I had no other choice! I couldn’t stand by and watch all Grisha die as she wanted me to. I didn’t know … I didn’t know any of it. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t still use it to protect us! It has protected us. How do you think I gained control of the Little Palace? We have a sanctuary for all Grisha! A terrible thing can still be used for our benefit.”

“Kirigan,” she said firmly. “We are destroying the Fold. That is my goal. A united Ravka. No more suffering.”

“Don’t you see, Alina? Don’t you get it yet? I created the Fold when they destroyed Luda. What will I do when they kill you? Because they already are trying. They attacked … Marie …” He still couldn’t bring himself to tell her the truth about Marie’s death. Surely just the attempt alone would help her understand. “Your power is more than anything they have ever seen. They won’t let you simply be with that power! Without the Fold to protect us, what will stop them? Zlatan will not stop until he has your power or you are dead. If I kill him, then the Fjerdans will come for your power and kill you. And then what monstrous thing will I do? Will anyone survive my reaction to that pain? Because I love you a hell of a lot more than I ever loved her, and …”

And there it was. Out in the open. Of course, she knew he loved her. He delighted in making her feel loved and special after so many years alone. Still, he hadn’t meant for her to know how very deeply she owned his heart. There was no taking back the words now. “I’m scared of what I will do if I lose you,” he admitted. In any form, her death or her abandoning him. He’d grown too close, let his heart get too attached. He knew better! Love only ever resulted in pain. “It could be the end of Ravka.”

She stared at him a long while, not responding, simply … scrutinizing him. He held his breath, hoping he hadn’t frightened her with his revelation. It hung heavily in the air as he waited for her reaction. “I just don’t know how I can trust you. Are you manipulating me just now? It seems real, but … after talking to Baghra …”

He grabbed her hand and pressed it to his chest so she could truly feel him. He called to her power, but she tried to stop her power from responding to him. “I love you! You can feel that, Alina.”

“I don’t trust myself to be able to tell with you anymore.”

“You’re angry that I lied,” he whispered. He understood that. “So punish me, Alina. Punish me however you deem fit, but don’t leave me for being afraid you’d run from the truth. Please. Please don’t leave me.”

“Baghra told me to, you know. To run, to never look back. She had a way out for me.”

“But you didn’t,” he whispered, realizing she had chosen to come back to him. Ivan hadn’t hauled her in for running. She hadn’t even tried. “Why?”

She was quiet for a long moment. “I am Grisha. You’ve taught me that I can’t hide who I am. If I ran, went into hiding, concealed my power … no, I couldn’t go back to that, to not sleeping, not eating, not being myself.”

“I see.” He chastised himself for hoping he might have been a part of that reason. “And us?”

She opened her mouth to speak several times before she finally sighed in frustration. “I’m sorry. I’m just really struggling to deal with knowing that the man I fell in love with isn’t even real. The love for that man is still there, but he doesn’t exist.”

“Is who I am so vile that you can no longer see the man you love now that he has a name? A past?” His face contorted in anguish at her rejection. His eyes filled with tears again; his muscles quivered with the effort of trying to blink them back.

“I just don’t know what, if any of that, is real!”

“I’m real. We are real. I never faked any emotion with you. I just … if I tried to tell you a story about my past, I had to alter it so it would make sense with what you knew, but … I wasn’t manipulating you, Alina. I … this, us, happened so much faster than I expected. I was enjoying letting you in.” It had been stupid, but he had let it happen.

She shook her head. “I don’t want to hurt you, Aleksander. I want to trust you. Trust must be earned, especially after all you have hid from me.”

“We have eternity for me to earn it back,” he whispered. “If you will give me the chance. I will try, every day, forever, to show you that I am worthy of your trust if you will just give me that day with you.”

“Eternity?” she gasped, shaking her head. “You, but me?”

He tilted his head and looked at her with curiosity. “Had you not realized? Power is what determines a Grisha’s lifespan. I told you that. Your power rivals mine.” And the amplifier would get her there.

She shook her head. “I don’t … I’m not …”

He squeezed her hand. “You are so much more than you realize you are.”

She looked into his eyes and stared there a long time. She seemed almost lost in the blackness there, but finally she nodded. “I will give you the chance to prove to me that I can trust you. I do understand why you wouldn’t introduce yourself to me as the Black Heretic from moment one. You’re hurt, and ashamed, and broken, even all these years later. Don’t try to deny that,” she quickly stopped him from speaking. “I’ve seen the real you, Aleksander. But that’s just it. If we continue this relationship, it’s with Aleksander. No more lies. No more manipulations. You let me see the real you. I get to know you again, the real you. And, together, we decide on the best course of action. Together we fight the darkness that I can feel tries to overwhelm you. Together we fight to protect Grisha and Ravka. But as partners. I will not be your pawn.”

He nodded. What choice did he have? It was terrifying to let her in like this, but she had seen glimpses of who he was inside, when he let his guard down. If he refused, he would lose her for certain, and that was the most terrifying option of all.

“We’re agreed then? No more secrets? No more manipulation? Because if I catch you trying to manipulate me again, we are done.”

“I’m not very good at that, Alina,” he admitted. “I’ve never … there’s never been anyone I could be fully honest with. Not ever. I’ve been taught to lie since the moment I could talk.”

“You’ll try,” she said firmly.

“I’ll try,” he agreed, “for you.” He would do anything for her. “Please be patient with me, Alina. Hundreds of years, I’ve always lied to everyone.”

He began to think through what it might be like to share everything with her. It would be nice to be able to tell her the truth about his past, in his stories, to better explain his emotions, but he would struggle to not keep things from her, particularly when she wouldn’t like the truth. How many truths had he kept from her to protect her? Where should he even try to start to fill her in on the truth? Then he remembered what would probably irritate her worst of all. He closed his eyes and cringed. No, there was no way she could ever forgive him, so he couldn’t possibly tell her the truth about … But if she was giving him a chance to prove his trustworthiness and he continued to hide this ...

“Oh, I think you’d better tell me what that’s all about.”

“Alina …”

“Right now,” she insisted.

He moved his hand to his head and massaged his temple. Trying to figure out how to stay on her good side was going to be the end of him. And yet, he could not bear the alternative. No matter how he tried to manipulate things, if she could read his emotions so easily, she would eventually find out the truth. She was directly telling him she would not forgive further deceit. He had to tell her. “Very well,” he finally agreed. “As long as you are forgiving mistakes of the past.”

He strode to his desk, opened a lower drawer, and pulled out a large black box. He carried it back to the chaise in his bedchamber and sat it in front of her before opening the lid to reveal the letters from the tracker and her letters to him. They were rumpled from being read many times; the ink bled in a few places.

Alina gasped when she saw the handwriting, but then the anger clouded her eyes as she saw how many of them there were.

“How could you?!” she yelled.

“Alina …”

“You knew how much he meant to me! How it hurt me that he wouldn’t write back! I poured my heart out .... You let me think that he had abandoned me … so that I’d have no one to turn to but you,” she realized, her eyes turning on him with accusation.

“So that you would have nowhere to go but forward,” he clarified.

The sting of her hand slapping his face for the second time that day was enough to make him wince. “Alina, I really do not like being hit.” It made him feel like a child. He wouldn’t stop her, though. He knew he deserved much worse.

“How could you? How could you? You knew what that did to me. Didn’t you care about me at all? About my feelings?”

“I didn’t kill him out of respect for you,” he said coldly. “It would have been simple. Army accident, my army. But I couldn’t do that to you.”

“Am I supposed to thank you for that?” The anger was fully back, as he expected. But any forgiveness until he admitted this would have been false. He was stupid enough to want her to actually fully accept him, even when he knew that couldn’t be.

“You could thank me or you could just read your letters, Alina. Be glad I decided to give them to you. From the first one that I read it was obvious to me that he was holding you back. You would never let yourself move on as Grisha with him. I did what you needed.”

“You don’t get to decide that!” She shook her head with anger and opened her mouth to retaliate, but then instead started scanning the first letter.

“Keep them,” he whispered. “I’ll give you some space to read them if you wish.”

Her eyes met his. “You will fetch him for me at once.”

Of all her reactions, he had not expected that one. He stared at her dumbfounded.

“Mal,” she clarified. “Don’t tell me you don’t know where he is. I know better now. You will fetch him at once.”

“And you think that’s a good idea? Putting me, you know what I’m capable of, in the same place as your, what? You think that’s going to go well?”

“Aleksander, if you want a relationship, it must be a partnership. I am allowed to have friends. I won’t be involved with you trying to seclude me anymore. You feel very alone, but that does not give you the right to make me feel alone.”

“I let you have friends,” he stubbornly insisted. “Friends who lift you up--Nadia, Marie, Genya.” Okay, one of them was dead and one was his spy. It seemed an inappropriate moment to bring that up, and she was continuing her tirade anyway.

“If we are going to make this work, then you will find a way to control your anger and those impulses to manipulate. You will let me talk to Mal, uninterrupted. And if you don’t agree with that, then let’s see how your shadow magic matches against my sun as I try to leave!”

She was calling his bluff. He couldn’t do that to her and she knew it. “And what happens when he makes you realize you truly have been sleeping with a monster?”

“Then I tell him to shut up because he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. You have to trust me enough to handle that.”

He stared into her eyes and wondered if this would be the last time she’d talk to him civilly. Mal would tell her that he’d tried to get to her, and he’d stopped him. Mal would make her fear his dark “shadow magic.” Mal would tell her to get away from him, but she had already directly told him that if he opposed this, he would lose her. Oh, he would win the power test. Her natural talent was strong but he had the experience. Having control of her power would not change her heart. Ever. If he let her have as she requested, was it possible it wouldn’t go the way he imagined? It was worth the risk. “As you wish, but remember who you are. You are Grisha, and he is nothing.”

=======

Author Notes: I do hope you enjoyed this chapter. This is actually the very first chapter of the entire story that I wrote many months ago and that inspired the whole thing. What if Alina had bonded enough to Aleksander that she confronted him when she learned the truth? What if Aleksander had bonded enough to Alina that he actually let her behind his walls and was willing to open up to her with the truth? How would they get there? Where would they go from there? It's my favorite scene, and I hope you enjoyed it too.

I'm sure people will ask if she's actually going to meet with Mal. The answer is yes, but don't worry. There will be no lusting after Mal here. It's Aleksander's POV. Mal isn't even on screen. Aleksander has no desire to see that crap, I don't want to write it, and you (probably) don't want to read it. It seemed important for me to let Alina realize for herself that Mal is bad for her (and she will). This Alina has had a bit more time to develop her self-esteem and she doesn't feel as tricked by Aleksander and shamed by Baghra's words. She's seen enough to realize there's more to the story. The next chapter is sad-puppy-eyed Aleksander angsting over Alina. You will definitely want to cuddle him.

#aleksander x alina #alina x aleksander #aleksander morovoza #kirigan x alina #alina x kirigan #general kirigan #the darkling #darklina #alina x darkling

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theparanormalperiodical · 4 years ago

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The REAL Story Behind The Crooked Man And The 7 Other Fairy Tales & Nursery Rhymes With *Even More* Disturbing Backstories

It was 4 years ago that we first met the Crooked Man.

With a *sickening* reveal via rottweiler fit for the latest season of Rupaul’s Drag Race, the suited gentleman staggered his way from The Conjuring 2 (2016) into our nightmares.

But his ashy undertones, gnashing teeth, and general aura of “I’m a demon, or something, which means I have no real motive apart from wanting to kill you” isn’t the only thing that fits the film far too well.

The Conjuring universe is the definition of ‘based on a true story’. And the Crooked Man fits the brief.

In the opening scenes of the film we see lovable and bulliable Billy stutter through a nursery rhyme:

There was a crooked man, and he went a crooked mile, He found a crooked sixpence against a crooked stile; He bought a crooked cat, which caught a crooked mouse, And they all liv'd together in a little crooked house.

Accompanied by a totally-cursed-i-mean-just-look-at-it zoetrope (it’s a bit like a mini projector that shows you a moving cartoon), Billy introduces us to one of the handful of extra entities terrorising London’s most haunted house. You can discover more about the true story of 284 Green Street which inspired The Conjuring 2 here.

But Billy also introduces us to a real nursery rhyme inherent in British culture - and British history.

Yes, the nursery rhyme, like many, is based on dark and twisted reality softened for a bedtime story. And amongst this history was a real person. Unfortunately, the Crooked Man is not the only fairy tale monster or nursery rhyme entity that will be haunting your dreams.

Are y’all tucked in?

The Crooked Man

The nursery rhyme was first told sometime in the 17th century during the reign of King Charles I. But the Crooked Man was not the Stuart King - it was allegedly inspired by Scottish general Sir Alexander Leslie and the covenant he signed.

The covenant secured religious and political freedom for Scotland despite prevailing animosity between the English and the Scottish.

The crooked stile is the awkward alliance between the two parliaments and the crooked house refers to the collective union the Scottish and English lived together in. But the ‘crooked’ part works on another level, too.

The great recoinage of late 17th century meant sixpences - which feature in the rhyme - were made of very thin silver and thus easy to bend.

An alternative origins story links it back to Lavenham, a village in Suffolk (England). The half-timbered houses leaned at off angles as if supporting each other, creating a crooked aesthetic that matches the nursery rhyme.

The Pied Piper Of Hamelin

I distinctly remember hearing the story of the Pied Piper when I was about 7 years old. I was there, sat crossed-legged on the wooden floor in assembly and listening to the headteacher tell us the tale of the musical maverick with an overhead projector.

I remember it being far more nostalgic and not so traumatising.

The story goes that sometime in the 13th century a peculiar man dressed in brightly-coloured clothes (pied clothing) was hired by the town to rid them of the rats with his pipe-playing abilities. Hamelin had been suffering from an infestation that would threaten the locals with the plague. The piper was to play his pipe, entice the rats with his magical music, and lead them to a river where they would promptly drown.

He was hired and he did the job - but they didn’t pay up.

The piper couldn’t exactly refund his services. Instead, he sought vengeance, luring away the children of the town with his magical pipe. He waited until Saint John and Paul’s day where the adults would be in the church, dressed in green like a hunter, and played his pipe. The children of the village swarmed to him, all 130 of them, following him out of the town and into a cave. Three were unable to follow due to being blind and deaf and thus told the villagers what had happened.

The real story:

Some versions of the story claimed he made them walk into a river, others claim he returned them after payment. But what we do know for sure is that there is a street in Hamelin called Bungelosenstrasse. On this street - ‘the street without drums’ according to translation - the children were seen last. No music and no dancing is allowed on this road.

Bluebeard

We open on a typical Medieval scene: a powerful and wealthy man is looking for a young wife to replace the last one who mysteriously went missing. Bluebeard’s been through quite a few women, actually, but it’s his latest bae that stars in this story. Bluebeard marries his neighbour’s daughter and goes on a business trip.

He tells her he can stay alone in their house but she cannot open a certain door.

Of course, she opens the door and finds the corpses of his ex-wives. Her and her sisters band together to kill Bluebeard, showering themselves with a wealthy inheritance.

The real story:

This tragic tale of murder and mystery is unfortunately all too true.

There are many alleged origins of the folktale. Let’s start with the Medieval ruler of Brittany, Conomor the Cursed: his new wife agreed to marry him to prevent him from invading her father’s lands but accidentally walked in on a room full of his dead, old wives. She was visited by their ghosts who warn him if she falls pregnant, he will kill her, preventing a prophecy that claims he will be killed by his own son.

She gets knocked up, gives birth, and then she gets her block knocked off.

An alternative inspiration could be a similarly brutal figure: Gilles de Rais (15th century). He was accused of murdering approximately 140 children who suddenly went missing in the Nantes countryside. He was condemned to death and executed in 1440.

Snow White

It’s one of the most popular fairytales of all time.

The story goes that a queen gives birth to a baby girl but dies in childbirth. The king’s new wife is wicked and vain, asking her magic mirror ‘who is the fairest one of all?’ on a daily basis. When the child turns seven, the mirror changes its answer from the queen to the child, Snow White (yeah, that’s weird). The queen hires a huntsman to kill Snow White, but she begs for mercy and says she will live in the woods and he can pretend he killed her.

She finds shelter in a cottage belonging to seven dwarfs who agree to let her stay as a maid until the evil queen asks the mirror her favourite question. It claims Snow White is still alive and the fairest of them all. She goes through several methods of attempting to kill Snow until she falls into a deep coma. The dwarfs host a funeral, a prince comes along, and he, uhhh, kisses what he assumed to be a corpse and she is awakened.

They then get hitched but don’t invite the queen to the wedding. The queen asks the mirror yet again the identity of the fairest, assuming Snow is well and truly deceased but the mirror breaks the bad news to her again. The queen tries to kill her once more but Snow’s hubby forces her to wear red-hot iron slippers and dance in them until she dies.

There’s a lot going on here.

But rather than unpacking everything that's wrong with all of this *gestures to everything*, let’s just get to the dark reality beneath it all.

The real story:

The inspiration is generally deemed to be Margaretha von Walbeck, a young woman who had a terrible relationship with her stepmother. She was forced to move to Brussels and fell in love with Phillip II of Spain, a romance not popular with her parents.

Suddenly, however, Margaretha died. Rumour has it she was poisoned.

Another detail of her life also links her to Snow White: her father’s copper mines were often filled with child labourers whose growth was stunted by working in them, mirroring the ‘dwarves’ in the story.

But Margaretha is not the only contender: Maria Sophia Margaretha Catharina Freifräulein von Erthal *inhale* also hated her stepmother. This - and the fact that her stepmother was given a mirror as a gift by her husband - also ties her to Snow White.

Hansel And Gretel

It’s possibly the most simple fairy tale up for discussion: a brother and sister are sent out to the woods by their father. The mother asked for him to send them away so they can survive a famine. But Hansel uses stones to trace their steps back home. One day, however, he uses crumbs. They get eaten by the local wildlife, so the kids get lost.

They then discover a witch's house, a gingerbread cottage. She lures ‘em in, fattens up Hansel, and prepares to feast on his flesh. The kids plot against her, throw her in the oven, and steal her stuff before heading back to live with their father.

Okay, so maybe this one isn’t based on a true story. It’s based on true stories. Yep - plural.

The real story:

Child abandonment and infanticide was pretty common during plagues, famines, and all other circumstances of poverty. In fact, this particular tale is believed to come from the Great Famine which stretched across Europe from 1315 to 1317. Child abandonment surged during this time.

Rapunzel

Turns out Disney lopped off a lot of Rapunzel’s real story to make it a family friendly movie. Yep, this is a weird one.

A pregnant woman begins to crave a kind of salad leaf (Campanula rapunculus, also called rapunzel) in the garden of the house next door. He goes out to nick it but is caught by the homeowner - a witch. She says he can take the rapunzel, but in return he must give her the child once it is born.

The witch raises Rapunzel as her own but locks her away in a tower when she is 12 to protect her from the outside world.

A prince eventually rocks up and decides to climb her immensely long hair. Unknown, probably PG-13 and probably not consensual acts happen. Still, given it's the medieval era they agree to get hitched after escaping.

The witch discovers her plan, cuts off her hair, exiles Rapunzel, and uses the locks as bait for the prince before throwing him to the briar roses below where he is promptly blinded. Rapunzel gives birth to twins and the prince finds her, identifying her only by her voice. Her tears restore his voice.

The real story:

Being kidnapped or being kept hidden away from the rest of the world is pretty common, well, all of the time. But Saint Barabara, a Greek saint, was the main inspiration for the tale.

She was locked away in a tower in Turkey in the third century by her father in an attempt to protect her Christianity. But her Pagan father’s efforts did not succeed and she discovered the ways of Jesus. She escaped but she was eventually caught by her father who then tortured and beheaded her.

Religious intolerance, y’all.

Beauty And The Beast

Time for another Disney classic with a heavily edited plotline.

The father of a family seeks shelter in a grand palace during a storm. In the morning before he leaves he takes a rose from the garden but is caught by a beast who threatens to kill him for nicking a flower. But the beast agrees not to kill him if his daughter takes his place instead.

The daughter moves to the palace but asks to go see her family for a week. She is then convinced by her sisters to stay at home. A magic mirror then reveals the beast is dying because she isn’t with him. She returns to him and her love breaks the curse that makes him appear so monstrous.

The real story:

Petrus Gonsalvus (1637-1618) was born with hypertrichosis. This meant he had a thick layer of hair all over his body - his physical difference didn’t go down very well. He was kept as a ‘wild man’ in a cage and fed raw meat.

When he was 10 years old he was gifted to the king of france. But he wasn’t kept as a ‘beast’. He was educated like a nobleman and was taught to read, write, and speak three different languages. He was then married off to the daughter of a court servant.

He was married to her for over 40 years and they had seven children together.

(Aww.)

Three Blind Mice

Three blind mice, three blind mice, See how they run, see how they run, They all ran after the farmer’s wife, Who cut off their tails with a carving knife, Did you ever see such a thing in your life, As three blind mice?

The real story:

It's one of those nursery rhymes you grow up with - and 17 years later you realise how traumatic it actually is.

This nursery rhyme can be traced back to the reign of Bloody Mary (16th century) who had a tricky relationship with Protestants. And by that I mean she burnt them alive, hence the nickname.

The three blind mice represented three Protestant bishops who may have been blinded before their execution or spiritually blind for following Catholicism. Another reference to Queen Mary was her as a farmer’s wife.

Her husband, Philip of Spain, owned several estates and thus was technically a farmer.

Welp, there goes your childhood.

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See you next week, kiddos. Sleep tight.

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