#someone i love dearly made these for me

[gothluke]

luke as barbie 2023

[possamble]

What are your headcanons about Marcille's mom if you have any? It's interesting that what drew Donato to her was cause she lived the history he studied, or that was said somewhere at least. She must've had an interesting life.

so this was going to be just a normal answer but then I realized I have a Lot of Things To Say. so here goes, a compilation of what we know for a fact from the canon, what I've extrapolated from the visual cues and details, and my theories based on all of that.

Things we know for a fact about Marcille's mother because they were explicitly stated in the manga and supplemental materials:

She was a court mage for a Tall-man kingdom at the southern part of the Northern Continent

Donato, a court historian, fell in love with her because she had lived through the history he was studying, and he courted her for 17 years (age 15 to 32) before getting married

She was a cheerful person who rarely showed extreme emotion and took things as they came

She always cooked a huge meal for Marcille on her birthdays

She remarried a gnome after Donato's death and a short distance away from Marcille's childhood home

Pipi, Marcille's pet bird, was actually older than Marcille and originally belonged to her mother (bird died at 62)

She was extremely heartbroken when Donato died and ultimately ended up instilling a deep fear of mortality in Marcille with her words

the only time she showed extreme emotion in front of her family was when Donato could no longer eat his favourite dish near the end of his life.

She scolded Marcille for being cruel to ants (implying she can have a stern side when needed)

Things that are explicitly shown but mostly through visual cues

She has a very distinctive style of dress always involving a ribbon choker (mirroring Marcille's habit of always wearing a matching choker with any of her outfits that don't cover her neck)

She was almost stereotypically good at housekeeping and traditionally "wifely" things (very frequently depicted wearing an apron or doing some domestic chore when not at work, seems to have been an avid cook).

She knits? (also, note the affectionate smile as she's looking at Donato and Marcille reading a book together in the full panel)

She was as excited for Marcille's milestones as Donato was.

She didn't tell Marcille much about elven food

(there are a couple things that this panel in particular implies:

She lived a good deal of her life (if not being born and raised) in a mainly elven country in the West, implied by her knowing enough of an elven region's cuisine to prefer Tall-man food over it

seems to have a pretty carefree and casual demeanour overall, if this is how she replied to Marcille asking her about it (sounds like she never gave her culinary preferences that much thought to begin with)

slightly related to number 2, it seems like she and Marcille had a fairly casual parent-child dynamic (especially in comparison to the Toudens' memory of their father)

(local elf tastes Italian food once and never goes back))

However, she seems a lot more... serious in most of the other times we see her? Almost like the very stereotypical archetype of a graceful elf.

Subsequent conclusions about her personality:

Usually pretty carefree and cheerful at home, has been a loving and attentive parent throughout Marcille's childhood (while not being so doting that she didn't discipline Marcille).

Slightly more conjectural theories on her personality:

Had a much more graceful and professional personality at work, which would explain the more serious portraits we see of her.

Given that both she and Donato had positions at the royal court, it seems a little odd that she'd go out of her way to do all the housework herself, so maybe she just enjoyed doing it?

Now taping all the evidence together and toeing the line between analysis and fanfiction:

It's clear that she loved Donato very much and was utterly devastated by losing him. But there's one thing that really stuck out to me in what little we see of her:

Doesn't she seem... angry? The way she's gritting her teeth, clutching the tablecloth, and how this is the first and only time we see her eyes opened that wide. In the following panel, you see her being quiet and dejected after her initial outburst. She's still crying very intensely, but her brows are furrowed, and she's not really responding to Donato's affection in her body language.

We're not told the details of how she felt about losing Donato other than that it upset her. But this, to me, implies that she was angry and resented that he was aging, that the end of his life was approaching. An "it's not fair" type of preemptive grief. And if this was the first and last time she cried like this in front of her family, she was either very good at coping in private... or very bad at letting herself feel unpleasant emotions until they become unavoidable and end up overwhelming her.

It's not too remarkable a detail on the surface. It's even reminiscent of what the audience has seen of Marcille. But... when it comes to the big picture, you'd think an elf who voluntarily chose to marry a tall-man and have a half-elf child would have been better prepared for this.

It kind of recontextualizes her cheerfulness to me.

"I'm sure everything's gonna be okay!" (or some variation thereof, depending on what translation you have).

And this is stated to contrast her extreme grief when finally confronting Donato's failing body and eventual death. But I'm wondering if... maybe this optimism was why she was so upset. What if she went into all of it thinking "everything's gonna be okay"? What if she was a little young by elven standards, and just followed her heart thinking that her own resilience would get her through anything?

Of course, only to get completely overwhelmed when she actually loses Donato. She turns into a completely different person. And that's heartbreaking on its own-- but what the audience sees is the effect it had on Marcille. Can you imagine being her, watching your invincible and upbeat mother suddenly lose all the light in her eyes in one go?

I've already made a huge post about how I think Marcille models her "work persona" off her mother, but another thing that stuck with me as I was looking for more details in the manga was this:

copy pasting from the other post i made about it lmao it's like... the second she resigns herself to lifelong pain and terror, there's another portrait of her mother facing her like this. with their heads bowed, in mirrored body language of resignation and despair and sorrow. Except it's posed like Marcille is still looking at her mother but her mother is looking away.

It took me a second to realize, but I think that it's a visual metaphor for the fact that Marcille's mother was the only long-lived role model she had-- and she failed to model healthy grief for her daughter. I don't say this as an accusation or to disparage her as a character, but just as a matter of fact. In her, Marcille was seeing herself older and losing a short-lived spouse or loved one of her own, and all she saw was hopelessness.

But her mother didn't mean to instill hopelessness and terror in her. She wasn't really thinking of how it would truly affect Marcille at all (at least, that's how I'm interpreting her looking down and away from Marcille in the metaphor), she was just sad. And she, in her own way, was trying to protect her daughter and help her prepare for future losses.

What she meant was "loss is inevitable, and you have to learn how to be in pain but live on anyway." What Marcille heard was "loss is inevitable, and you will be scared and hurt for the rest of your life."

Again. Marcille's mother doesn't feature explicitly in the story the way her father does -- but in so many ways, her shadow, her silhouette, her reflection is always hanging over Marcille.

All that to say... headcanon-wise (everything from here on is 100% without evidence lmao), I'd like to think that she matured and realized that she failed Marcille. I imagine her being regretful about it, wanting a chance to fix it but never finding a way to insert herself back into Marcille's life when Marcille is so so so busy becoming the most accomplished mage possible. I imagine her being herself again, now, so many years after her loss and after remarrying -- but with her cheerfulness tempered with a lot more wisdom and the pain of having gone through loss like that. I think the second Marcille actually tells her what happened in the dungeon, she'd want to go running to her daughter again -- if Marcille tells her the full truth instead of just being embarrassed she let things get that far. (oh, the tragedy of her wanting to be more like her mother and an accomplished adult who doesn't need to be babied... being embarrassed to actually tell her mother how much she fucked up...)

There's also the tension of her having remarried -- I know that there's at least a little bit of resentment that Marcille harbours about that, because she's childish like that at heart even if she makes an effort not to externalize it. I think that her mother would be aware of that, potentially adding to her sense of guilt and apprehension at trying to reappear/intrude on Marcille's life. I honestly don't think Marcille has met her stepfather -- or even considers him a stepfather rather than "mama's new husband" and kind of a total stranger. I think she and her mother actively don't talk about it in their correspondence, like an elephant in the room.

but, ultimately, I think her mother is on her side no matter what. Ancient magic? Dark necromancy? Sure, she'll feel guilty and like she was partially responsible for setting Marcille down such a painful path, but she wouldn't care. that's her daughter!! she would've moved back west and been petitioning for her at the court, buying a house right next to the Canaries barracks and visiting her every day that she wasn't on a mission. And if her husband had opinions on Marcille becoming a "dark arts user," he either gets over it or it's divorce with him. Yes, she might have had her optimism completely humbled by losing Donato like that -- but she's still headstrong and self-assured and she doesn't care what people think of her. It's her way or the highway and she's always going to be in Marcille's corner.

(She also needs a name lol. I went with Juno, just to be cute about "Marcille"s closest real life equivalent being Marcella, which is the female version of Marcellus, which in turn is a diminutive of Marcus, which was derived from Mars. Absolutely in love with Marcille potentially being named after Ares/Mars the fucking god of war btw)

[snobgoblin]

thinking about the ring thing and the hat thing and the grief and the things people we love leave behind as reminders of the absence of their presence etc etc. sigh

[akkivee]

it’s hayama-san’s bday today 🥺🥺🥺 here’s a few of his moments that live rent free in my head lmao

his debut role was in the boueibu franchise and they did livestreams for each episode or something those details are foggy lol, but he wound up getting tickled against his will on stream one time and the way he cursed out his costar LOL anyway this is him making sure he’s getting his revenge

he’s rolled back on it a bit but he was a bl ambassador at one point and lmao his web show that used to be a bl recs talk got nominated for a streaming/radio award under the 🔞 category. he was honoured ofc LOL

speaking of that show, on a collab episode with takeuchi-san’s, i will neither forget nor forgive them for role playing #daddykink #firsttime #agegap #begentleshochan as they played with some play dough my face was on fire from embarrassment and from laughing LMAO

the bat seiyuu are as much family as their characters 😌😌😌 throwback to that time all three were part of this acting gig and in order to be together forever, he and sakakihara-san killed takeuchi-san and then killed each other 🥺🥺🥺 this was preceded by the three of them watching a movie together btw and revealing that the hayama-san and sakakihara-san were actually aliens LOL

kamio-san is a part of said acting gig and kinda rules the show so hayama-san, who is more like kuukou than he realises lol, has vowed to be his challenger and got his win by making kamio-san cry actual tears during their master and dog skit where hayama-san, the dog, said he would like to sniff kamio-san’s ass LMAO

i like the way he says bad ass temple sometimes lol

[pickled-flowers]

Every time I go to a party I'm reminded that it's not that I can't interact with people, it's just not a desire I have :(

[gncrezan]

okay deliriously mad about this specific bit in an f/oa review. YOU HAVE JUST PLAYED. A GAME. ABOUT FOUND FAMILY. where hermes in multiple instances expresses the fact he feels more at home in the underworld, doesn't have a good relationship with his father anymore and feels as though he is always playing a role on olympus. if you fucking choose to stay on olympus despite building a relationship with the wider cast and hermes, OF COURSE he is going to reject any advances and break off a budding relationship. BECAUSE THE PC HAS JUST PROVED TO HIM THAT THEY HAVE NOT LISTENED OR TAKEN TO HEART ANY OF THE THINGS HE'S BEEN WORRIED ABOUT. the pc chooses to rejoin a community that ostracizes the people he cares most about and essentially does what hera does, use the underworld as a getaway from olympus when it suits them, without caring deeply about the underworld itself. like cmon. some criticism i can get but this one.. KEEP MY WIFE'S NAME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!

[the-mighty-nappa]

The end of the best TTRPG campaign i've been a part of is coming up in the next few weeks and because of events my character is not going to survive the final fight so they're taking their final week of downtime to bond more with the entire party and write letters addressed to each of them for afterwards. I am fucking FAILIONG at holding back my tears for the first time in regards to a campaign story and the actions of my character and it's fucking killing me. I could not be happier to have been a part of my friends schizophrenic nightmare that he's been running stuff for on and off for the past decade and I can not wait to see the next arc for Kalter.

[cashweasel]

They make running away from the paparazzi look so sexy 🥴

( @sysba 🥰)

[yaburnaee]

nesta's still gonna be mean to you even when she likes you. the difference is that she's the only one allowed to be mean to you and she will start a physical altercation if someone dares to open their mouth to say some shit against you.

[crush3dmary]

Expect some symphonia fics in the days to come. The hyperfix is swinging back around.

[obessivedork]

The more I think about it the more annoyed I am by the amount of Deadwoman Sadmen in Fallout 4. Like @the head writer WHO THE FUCK HURT YOU???? @Todd Howard WHY did you approve SO many of the EXACT SAME character backstory for MULTIPLE characters in ONE GAME??

You know what? I WOULD rather a bitter divorced MacCready who nontheless is looking for a cure for his son because that's still his kid! I'd rather Kellog's wife?/gf? LEFT him because he was a piece of shit merc! Must it have been a wife dying for Deacon to feel bad and change his ways? why not some random community member or or a friend something? Time and time again this series uses women as plot devices rather than as characters and fallout 4 is the worst offender. Not only is it misogyny and showing a severe lack of anyone but the most generic cis white men they could pull off the street to sit in the writer's room but it's So. Lazy. Every. Time!!!!

Sexism aside are they not embarassed with their lack of imagination and hack storytelling?

[bucklavaa]

<3

[neiptune]

I was exploring one of those platforms where people sell second hand vintage toys & dolls, I found a few ones I used to own and man did I tear up

[volfoss]

genuinely so sad that we dont get louis back until blood canticle... like ofc b&g is the marius show and that sucks so so so immensely bc i would like maybe one likeable character per book (i mean... daniel is there but still). but blackwood farm is going to be hell in such new and exciting ways and i dont even get to get a single fucking follow up after how merrick ended for louis??

[ronkeyroo]

I know it can be hard to see ourselves and our work through the eyes of another, but if you could, you would be able to see how much we cherish your presence and everything you do. Your value goes of course beyond just what work you put out in the world, but who you are and the energy you share with us. I wish you could see yourself the way we see you. You breath so much life into the work you create and it makes me so happy to see when you're thriving and my heart goes out to see when you struggle. Please always follow your passions and do what makes you the happiest, that will be gift enough for rest of us <3

P.S sending 1000 "<3"s for our favourite wolfy bois, you make me fall in love with them all over again everything your art pops up on my dash ^.^

[definitelynotshouting]

heya i just wanted to tell you how genuinely important your arospec scarian thing is to me

the line "He's not sure what he wants, what's expected of him here" has just helped me solve a tiny crisis i've been having for the past month+ and on one hand i can't believe a fic about blockmen kissing is helping me figure this out but on the other hand im thinking of course it was your writing that helped me realize what is happening in my little feelings hole

anyway, just wanted to say thank you for how real and beautiful your writing is

sincerely, an aro/ace person who's feeling a little more okay about their crisis because you're an awesome human

HEY ANON,,,,, THIS IS SO SWEET WTF..... holy shit im literally speechless. I dont even remotely know what to say to such a genuine and heartfelt message, except that i am so, so happy ive managed to help you like this with my writing

Writing the arospec stuff was really interesting for me, personally, because thats an aspect of myself ive never really... set out much space to think about??? Ive known for a while that im probably demiromantic, considering how close i have to be with people before i can even begin to catch feelings, but ive never truly and consciously explored that within my writing before until now. And the fact that finally doing so has helped someone with a personal crisis really makes me so teary-eyed like hello...... oh my gods.

Thank you for taking the time to tell me this, and im so glad ive managed to help out despite being a virtual stranger. That novelty is never gonna wear off for me. I hope you're having a good day, anon❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ take care of yourself!! :]