#someone help I love them

[cinnamontoastcrunch-15]

The Grand Proposal - Part 2

Part 1 here!

Masterpost here :)

My favourite hippie and scientist are FINALLY getting engaged!!

I know it’s been a long time coming but I deleted and restarted it 6 times because it wasn’t coming along the way I wanted it to

HOWEVER writing this version had me kicking my feet and giggling like a child so I hope you like it!!

Saturday

"Sirius, lovely! Hi!" Hope Lupin's familiar, enthusiastic voice sounded the moment her door swung open, Sirius almost immediately being pulled into a hug. He smiled to himself, wrapping his arms around the short woman. "I was just cleansing the house! Want to help?" She asked quickly, pulling away to give him an excited grin.

"Of course, sounds like fun," he answered, following her inside.

As Hope lit her incense burners, Sirius grabbed a bundle of crystals and set to work placing them at different points in the room.

"I remember the first time I asked you to do this," she hummed camly, and Sirius snorted.

"God, don't remind me. Remus still makes fun of me for asking where the cleaning products were." Hope laughed lightly, sending a spike of warmth through Sirius. "So, uh… there was a reason I came here, actually…" Sirius started, and he could feel the nerves start to wash over him.

"You want to propose?" She supplied. Sirius stopped in his tracks, head whipping around to face her.

"Sorry? How did you-?"

"I've had a feeling for a while now. Thought today might be the day."

"Christ, you're like magic, or something," he said to himself, stunned, and Hope just laughed.

"Tune in to your intuition, lovely, you'd be surprised."

"I- yeah. Anyway, you mean the world to Remus, and I know we're not exactly a… well, a normal couple."

"Normal is boring," she added, tranquil, and Sirius couldn't help but breathe a light laugh.

"Yeah, it is. Still, I wanted to ask for your- your blessing, I guess." He had stopped laying down crystals, taking to watching her anxiously. She turned around, incense in hand.

"You love Remus," she stated. Sirius nodded, despite being pretty sure that it wasn't a question. "Since he first brought you to meet me, I knew you were sticking around. The way they talk about you, look at you, everything. You were part of our family from the moment you two first met. If the proposal is something you want to do, I'm more than happy for you to do it." Sirius felt himself tearing up a little at that, quickly swallowing it down.

Hope Lupin was the fucking best.

"I'm meeting James to go and pick up the ring soon, actually," Sirius said quickly, and Hope smiled.

"You'd best be heading out, then. Take the green jade with you, it's for luck." Sirius glanced inside the bag he was holding, pulling out the small, tumbled crystal and setting the rest of them on the windowsill.

"Thank you, Hope."

"Anytime, Sirius. Truly."

-

Remus pulled his purple silk cardigan on, glancing at it in the mirror before promptly pulling it off again. He wasn't usually one to panic about what he was wearing, but they couldn't help it. Proposing turned out to be bloody stressful.

"You almost ready, darling?" Sirius' voice called from the kitchen, and Remus groaned inwardly, picking the cardigan back up. It would have to do.

Quickly, they went over the plan in their head.

Sirius was taking him to dinner, giving him ample time to mentally prepare himself for what he was going to do. Or to panic and watch the time crawl past, but still. Time. Remus was driving, so as they left, Lily and Mary should have set everything up, and then he could just… divert their route a little, get Sirius inside, and do it. Propose.

How hard could it be?

The moment they got into the kitchen, he felt their breath catch in his throat.

Sirius was fucking gorgeous.

He accidentally gave Sirius a very obvious once-over, taking in his red dress trousers, black shirt with just a few buttons undone, the amethyst necklace Remus had gifted him hanging visible in the space and a red jacket hanging from his arm. His black hair tumbled past his shoulders elegantly, and as Remus dragged their eyes back to Sirius' he realised that Sirius was smiling, amused.

"You're so beautiful, my gods," Remus murmured, kissing Sirius quickly.

"Please, you're fucking ethereal." A laugh was drawn out of Remus, then. Trust the scientist to pull out the strangest compliments, and draw all of the heat straight to Remus' face. "So, I thought we could go to Giovannis? I've booked the same table, and I've called in advance to make them prepare some sort of vegan selection." Remus surveyed him carefully for a moment, quiet nervousness and a small amount of confidence hidden in the few tells Sirius could never quite quash, not when it came to Remus. Everything connected in their brain, his heart stopping for half a second.

Shit.

That was where Sirius took them for their first date. Their absolutely disastrous first date that ended with them sitting on the pavement outside a food truck, Remus doing his best not to laugh while Sirius apologised and apologised, every inch of that stone cold, frustrated scientist gone. It was the day Remus realised that Sirius Black wasn't going to be some casual, fun fling. He was someone who either stuck around or broke Remus' heart.

He was so fucking glad it was the first one.

Well, up until that moment.

Sirius was going to fucking propose, wasn't he?

Same table, an actual vegan selection, the fact that he was wearing red? God, he was going to beat Remus to it!

Remus wasn't about to let that happen.

Sorry Lily, sorry Mary, Remus had to do something.

"Yeah, that sounds nice. I'll be right back, then we can leave." He turned and walked straight into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door as calmly as he could manage before pulling their phone straight out of their pocket.

He tapped the very inconspicously named 'L and M' groupchat, pressing 'call' and holding it to their ear.

"Pick up, pick up, pick up," Remus muttered under his breath, finally hearing Lily and Mary's voices through the phone.

"Remus?" Lily said, confusion laced thick through her voice.

"Hey, everything alright?" Mary asked.

"Hey, there's been a slight change of plans. How quickly can you get everything set up? Benchmark."

"Uh… if I pick Mary up, we could be there in ten minutes, so maybe… twenty five?" Lily concluded, and Remus nodded to himself.

"Twenty if everything goes smoothly," Mary piped up.

"Okay, right. Once you've finished setting everything up, don't leave. Just… hide somewhere, make sure Sirius doesn't see you leave."

"Sounds good, I'm leaving now," Lily said, the rustling of her keys sounding. "See you in a second, Mary. Good luck Remus!" With that, she hung up, Remus doing the same.

Twenty minutes. He could do that.

They pulled the lock free, opening the door and stepping out, phone sliding straight back into his pocket. He shot Sirius a smile.

"Right, should we head out?" They asked, Sirius nodding. "Let me just grab my keys." He walked over to the small key cabinet Sirius had made, pulling it open and frowning as he stared right at his small black car key, his astrology keyring attached to it. "Hm… have you seen my keys, love?" As he rustled through the rest of the keys, 'looking' for his, they pulled them off the hook along with Sirius' motorbike key.

There, no other options.

Sirius walked over, confused.

"They're not there?"

They spent ten minutes trying to 'find' Remus' keys.

Once his phone buzzed, a quick 'we've arrived, setting up now xx' coming from Mary, he 'found' the keys under the sofa. Fucking perfect. At least their new plan was actually falling into place.

He took his careful detour with a calm, unassuming look, Sirius not even batting an eye. Not until Remus got close to the Observatory and forced the car to stall. Sirius turned to Remus, concerned.

"Is everything alright?"

"I'm not sure, uh… hold on." He glanced around their surroundings, pretending to notice the Observatory for the first time. "Hey, I'm pretty sure Mary's working today. They can help." They pulled the car door open, stepping out and watching as Sirius did the same. He didn't even have to ask and Sirius followed.

Remus thanked everything in that moment that Sirius was into motorbikes instead of cars.

They walked into the Observatory hand in hand, the lights dimmed slightly. Remus smiled to himself as he surveyed the decorating job. It was fucking impressive, how quickly Lily and Mary had pulled everything together. There were fairy lights strung across every rail, with rose quartz, moonstone and aventurine crystals tumbled and carved into hearts and hanging off different surfaces. Remus owed them more than one night out.

Their eyes went to Sirius, watching as his eyes widened.

"Are those-? Those are love crystals," Sirius said carefully.

"Hm. Maybe there's an event," Remus observed calmly. "Come on, I think they work up here." They walked up the stairs together, Sirius watching everything in slight awe. He quite clearly hadn't bought Remus' event excuse, but Remus wasn't bothered in the slightest. He was still walking, still going.

As they reached the top of the stairs, Remus gently pushed a door open, listening to Sirius gasp.

The room was absolutely beautiful.

Darkened, soft carpeted flooring, and the ceiling was adorned in constellations. Thank fuck Mary worked there, they had only gone and brightened the Canis Major light. It dazzled, standing out so perfectly, so unbelievably Sirius-like, that Remus could almost feel his own breath catch in their throat.

"It's…" Sirius trailed off, stunned. He turned to Remus. "Is this…?"

"For you?" They finished for him, nodding. "Surprise, love." With that, he reached into his pocket, taking a deep breath and willing himself to stay in one piece until he had actually asked him. "Since the-"

"Hold on." Sirius seemed to snap out of his own shock, blinking harshly. "Wait. No, no, what are you doing?"

Remus frowned, confused. Their heart sped slightly. Was Sirius about to say no? Before he had even asked?

"Uh… well, I had a bit of a speech prepared before I actually asked you, love."

"You- Moony! I- Giovannis, I had a whole plan! I was going to-"

"I had a feeling." Remus interrupted smoothly, a small smile appearing on his face.

"You…" Sirius searched his face for a moment, before dropping his head into his hands. "God, of course you did. You're bloody psychic." Remus just shrugged, warmth spreading comfortably through his chest.

"So, what now?" He asked. They weren't exactly expecting Sirius to interrupt their proposal.

"I- I don't know,” Sirius said honestly, and Remus wanted to… well, laugh and cry. Everything was falling apart and falling together in a way that was so perfect.

"Well… since the night we first met, I knew you were going to stay on my mind," Remus started softly, watching as Sirius smiled at him. "You and that stubborn phone call, anyway." A laugh escaped both of them, then.

"I didn't think I could ever feel the way I do about you. Never," Sirius said gently.

"Being able to share my life and every aspect of myself with you has been the biggest honour I've had. I feel so fucking lucky that you've let me in, Padfoot." Remus' felt their face warm, a few tears starting to form.

"If- if you had told me ten years ago that you were going to swoop in, in that calm way of yours, and balance out everything that made me feel off kilter, I wouldn't have believed you, but… you do, Moony. You quieten the noise, stop the world from spinning off its axis," Sirius murmured, the hands that were still clasped tightening slightly.

"God, Sirius, if first loves are the strongest, then I must not have loved anyone before you. I love you so much it hurts."

"I- you complete some part of me that I had no clue wasn't complete. Like I had been walking around with half of a heart and didn't know it, until I met you."

"Padfoot…"

"Moony…"

Christ, it was actually happening, wasn't it?

Remus nodded, trying to string together the final few words.

"Will you marry me?"

"I- yes. Fuck, of course," Sirius said, voice practically a whisper as he threw his arms around Remus. Remus dropped his head against Sirius' shoulder, still slightly thrown at the way everything had turned out. "What about… you? Will you… marry me?" A loud laugh from Remus had them pulling away and kissing Sirius.

"Yeah," He said breathlessly, barely pulling away. "Think I might do, actually." As they felt Sirius smile against his lips, he realised just how perfectly everything had worked out.

Yeah, his proposal went a little… awry, but it was better that way.

It was their proposal, exactly how it should have gone.

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[jenanigans1207]

What I wanted so badly was for Mary to learn about her boys from Cas. Like that night where Cas finds her when she can’t sleep and she expresses that she just doesn’t know anything about her sons since she missed so much?? All I wanted was for Cas to sit down with her at the table and just start telling her about them. Basic stuff at first: their favorite foods, their sleeping habits, the stuff he’s just observed by being their passenger for years.

And then I want him to say something totally Cas, like “Dean always wears more layers but that’s because his body naturally runs two degrees colder than Sam’s. But that’s normal for him and not indicative of any illness, so it’s nothing to worry about.”

And as they talk, it starts to get a little deeper, and Cas tells her more. He tells her about what she missed, about all the horrible things that happened to her sons and how they coped; how it changed them. And he tells her about Sam, he does, but really it ends up being all about Dean.

He’ll tell her about how Dean clenches his fists when he’s upset, even as he tries to keep his face impassive. About how Dean drums his fingers on the steering wheel when he’s anxious. He’ll tell her about Dean’s nightmares, about the ways he’s chosen to cope. He’ll tell her how to know when to approach Dean and when to give him space, how to gently acknowledge what he’s feeling without pushing him too far.

And with every word he says, Mary’s curious head tilt from when she’d seen them hug in reunion turns into a bone deep type of certainty. Because Cas is telling her things that only someone who paid special attention would notice. He’s telling her things that only someone very, very close to her son’s heart would know.

Cas will tell her the cliff notes of what they’ve been through; will tell her how the whole world looked to Dean and he rose to the occasion over and over again. He’ll tell her about Dean’s doubts in himself and then vehemently declare them as wrong and explain, at length, why. He will tell her about the people Dean has loved— the people who loved him like he was their own— and lost. He will tell her about Bobby, Ellen, Jody, Donna, and Charlie. He’ll tell her about Claire, too, and how Dean stepped up.

And the whole time, Mary will have this realization that oh, she may not have been around to guide and protect her sons, but there was always someone there to care for them and support them when they needed it. She will realize that she and John may have left them, but they were never alone.

But more than that, there was someone there for Dean. Someone picking Dean over and over again while Dean picked Sam, or the world, over himself. There was someone fighting for Dean when he wasn’t fighting for himself. There was someone who saw Dean, and loved him unconditionally.

Sitting across from her, at the asscrack of dawn, filling her in on all the things she missed was every mother’s dream: someone who loved her child with the kind of devotion that would break the world. And from the sounds of the stories she was being told, it did break the world. Someone whose love is entirely untainted and comes without any strings attached.

It’s so clear to her as she listens to Cas talk that Cas loves Dean with no expectations. That loving Dean is something he just does, like he doesn’t know how not to love Dean, like the possibility of not loving him never occurred to Cas. He loves Dean in a way that Mary knows can and will soothe Dean’s sharp edges and battered heart. He loves Dean in the kind of pure way that tells Mary that it will continue to endure and overcome everything without ever diminishing, even the littlest amount.

Mary, through tears, will tell Cas how she always told Dean that there were angels watching over him. And before Cas can make some comment about Dean being the Righteous Man and the interest of most of Heaven, she will place a hand over his and give him a motherly look that will convey all the things she’s not sure how to say— and the things she’s not sure Cas is ready to hear yet. And Cas will flush and look away, mumbling about how her son is very special to him.

And when she pulls him into a hug and murmurs thank yous into his shoulder, she will be comforted in the knowledge that her sons turned out to be wonderful men, and that they managed to stay together through everything. She will be comforted to know that no matter what happens, no matter her shortcomings as she tries to fill a role she never meant to leave, Sam will have Dean and Dean will have Cas.

And this time, when Cas tells her that she belongs here, she will believe him. And she will tell him that he belongs here, too.

And when Dean wakes up a few hours later and wanders in to find Mary and Cas still chatting over the table, he’ll be surprised— but pleased— to find Mary looking more at ease. He’ll be pleased when she gives him a warm hug and pats him on the cheek and tell him with all the sincerity that only a mother can muster that she’s glad that he met Castiel. And when Dean agrees, a little confused, Mary will just smile at him.

“I always said I’d like a third son.” She says, “so give him a reason to take our last name, won’t you?”

And Dean will splutter and turn fifteen shades of red as he steadfastly doesn’t look at Cas but mumbles something that suggests he’s not against the idea at all.

And Mary will laugh again and wink at an equally red Cas before heading towards the kitchen like “Cas said waffles are your favorite, so I hope you’re hungry!”

[lonesomenecromancer]

more isat drawings yay

[steveyockey]

the thing about some of these emerging problems with like, students using chatgpt to get “facts” that turn out to be completely made up on the spot is that it’s a problem solved as simply as DON’T FUCKING USE CHATGPT. there’s a repeated attitude like we don’t have the CHOICE to disengage from ai, the gig economy, amazon, etc and while that may be true on a certain level, the notion that these things have inextricably wound themselves into our lives to the degree that willingly engaging *directly* with them is impossible to resist is flat out bizarre to anyone who uses them the absolute minimum amount possible. we are not ALL shopping at shein monthly or doordashing a single iced latte every morning! you can and should understand that your actions are your own damn problem!

[beaulesbian]

"The world should have protected you, but you have been asked to protect it. What an honor. What an injustice." - NADDPOD, Bahumia campaign ep. 97 (x)

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

He is at his limit.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[buckyscap]

this part always gets me giggling kicking my feet twirling my hair. when wade kept asking about logan's suit saying he just wanted to bond, logan said "well then talk about something else"

he's practically showing us he's not against talking to wade at all, unlike how he wants us to believe by being so grumpy and telling him to stfu all the time.... that scene really got me going "aw he wants to bond? 🥺" in the theatre

[tiredsmashbros]

im cooking ya'll i'm cooking oh my god my back hurts UIHJOK

fanart of @maxxii11's ADORABLE ASS SMG34 PIECE BC OH MY GOD I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO STOP THINKING ABOUT IT /SRS.

anywho i hope u enjoy this max just as much as i do xD 💛

[certaintylikelightning]

thinking about riz and how his mom and his weird romance partner both think the bad kids are bad friends to him… thinking about how riz took on every single stress token for his friends… thinking about how riz always puts his everything into helping his friends and being there for them. and the bad kids aren’t Bad Friends but sometimes they take/need a lot, and they’d be fine if he pushed back, but he never pushes back? thinking about fig’s one nice note made riz break down and send gorgug WALLS of text about how much it meant to him

[okartichoke]

ace avian. that’s what we’re calling this 🗣️🗣️🗣️

please let me know if you have any thoughts or suggestions or input or anything! i’m happy to bounce ideas around (i'll post DL-6 someday soon i swear)

link to masterpost || explations below cut

shoutout to the anon who sent in that ask bc i seriously fell in love with blue jay phoenix. SHOUTOUT TO TAKAHE PHOENIX TOO THO takahe phoenix, you will forever be in my heart and im glad you existed <3333,, (maybe in this au he’s got some loving adoptive takahe parents :3) (YKNOW WHAT YEAH that’s canon now)

but yeah, flight-avoidant jay phoenix still lends itself well to the common-man hardworking underdog vibe i want from him. speaking of flight-avoidant...

Phoenix's relationship with flying:

It's a bit complicated. Basically, Phoenix can fly, but he historically chooses not to. From the lack of any practice, he's an INCREDIBLY weak flier. (That hovering is really all he can manage)

For one, he's still afraid of heights. Can't help that. This fear means he was less inclined to practice flying, which made him a weaker flier. And being a weaker flier, in turn, made his fear of heights worse. And so on, in a loop. With flightless parents too (it's canon now it's canon), there's even less of a reason to learn to fly. At some point, not flying might've even become something he stuck with out of stubbornness lol, knowing Phoenix.

(I will soon be making a couple small world building posts, but) flying isn't necessary to get around in their society. Convenient, sure, but Phoenix realized he could make do without, and so he did. Phoenix, you icon. Slay. 💅💅

i know this probably isn't the popular take with wing AUs??, but Phoenix being flightless (or at least semi-flightless) sounded like a really fun take on the idea to me. His name is irony at its peak. I also look forward to exploring how other characters react to him not flying. The prosecutors are going to have so many cheap insult opportunities.

As I mentioned though, he still uses his wings a LOT, though. He's much more emotive with them than most people. His sarcastic inner-dialogue remarks are also betrayed by his wings lmao

I also imagine bird-folk never really invented bikes (riding would just be annoying with their wings, plus bikes aren't fast/efficient enough to outweigh just flying), so instead, Phoenix gets around on a little wing-powered scooter device (like scootaloo lol) (they're usually made for children who can't fly yet, but Phoenix still uses one)

finally, wow, stellar jay’s are quite literally just phoenix wright as a bird lmao? color scheme, hair, it’s uncanny. give it a pink tie and it just is Phoenix Wright, i used a blue jay since they’ve got a bit more striking wings but wow.

(ty again for the support and for reading my essay ! :3)

one more thing, but @kora-kat YES YES YES this. ^^^^ omg THIS. this is still true even though he's a jay now.

[cinnamontoastcrunch-15]

Nothing You Could Do

Sirius isn't one to sneak out of the house, he isn't. Remus' letter was just so concerning, he didn't have a choice. Besides, it's not like he's going to get caught...

“Just fuck off!” Remus slams the door shut on his father, pressing his back against it and trying to slow his heart a little. He does his best to block out the sound of Lyall shouting about him being disrespectful, or something, and drops onto his bed. “Christ.” Sighing, he presses his hands against his face. 

He’s not exactly having the best day. 

For most of the summer, Remus has managed to avoid any major incidents with his dad. Anything too big stresses out Hope, and he really hates stressing out Hope. Still, it’s about time, and Remus had felt it coming before today. He’d said exactly that to Sirius, in his last letter. It doesn’t mean he’s thrilled about getting screamed at for no reason after spending weeks walking on eggshells, though. The moon being close isn’t exactly helping, either. His head aches, his skin’s crawling and his hip’s bothering him again. 

It isn’t often that Remus wants to live in London, but times like this? Yeah, he’d rather be close to Sirius. 

It’s been three bloody weeks. They’ve been sending letters back and forth, and it’s been fine, but he’s not going to hear from him for at least another few hours, and that’s only if Sirius writes back straight away. Remus’ least favourite part of the holidays is that, really. He can put up with his dad, it’s not that bad, but he and Sirius have just figured everything out. Maybe it’s a little dramatic of him, but he misses him. A lot. 

A panic attack snaps him out of his self pity, distracting him by stealing his breath, shoulders tensing and hands shaking as his anxiety sends him pacing around the room. Great. Just fucking great. 

Okay, relax. 

Just relax. 

Fucking relax! 

Why should his dad’s opinion matter, anyway? It’s not like- 

A thud outside his window. 

Remus jumps a mile, heart pounding. The bits and pieces from the night he was bitten come screaming back to him at the sound. Another thud distorts to a scrape, a gust of wind becomes a low, menacing laugh, and Remus feels like he’s five again, begging his dad to check the wardrobe for monsters, insisting that there’s a pair of glowing yellow eyes in the darkness waiting for Lyall to shut the door and for Remus to be all alone. 

“Moony? Moony!” A familiar voice half whispers, half shouts through the crack in the window, and everything in Remus starts to relax, to finally feel like there’s someone there for him, that he’s not alone anymore. 

“Sirius?” With that, Remus starts to breathe again. 

“Can you open the window? I don’t reckon I can fit through there.” Miraculously, a laugh finds its way out of Remus, who walks quickly and shoves the window the rest of the way open, grabbing his wand to throw a silencing charm over the room before reaching an arm out to pull his boyfriend inside. 

“What the hell are you doing here?” Remus asks quietly, a smile reaching his face at the sheer relief that’s letting him forget everything he had been feeling. 

“Your letter. I’m here to cheer you-” He starts, until Remus drags him through the window and pulls him into a bone breaking hug, forcing the air out of Sirius a little and cutting him off. “Up.” He ends softly, wrapping his arms around Remus and letting Remus bury his face into his hair. “Alright, darling?” He just shrugs, eyes shut as he lets himself recharge, breathing finally regulating as he lets Sirius hold him. Everything that has happened seems to become a lot less important when he knows Sirius is there. 

“Better now.” Eventually, he pulls away from the hug and smiles at Sirius warmly. Lifting his hands, he presses both against Sirius’ cheeks, cradling his face before pressing a kiss to his forehead, then his lips. “Missed you. So fucking much.” Sirius just smiles, face going slightly red. 

“Want to talk about it?” Remus shakes his head. He’s done enough thinking for the day, he just wants to enjoy having Sirius there. “Okay, yeah, that’s fine.” 

That’s how they find themselves curled up together in Remus’ small single bed, Remus resting his head against Sirius’ chest and just… talking. It feels like it’s been years, as all of Remus’ muscles relax and he finally starts to feel tired again, Sirius’ fingers raking through his hair and slowly sending him to sleep. 

“Could you- would it be alright if you stayed until I fall asleep?” He asks. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to, otherwise, sorry.” 

“Of course, darling. Anything. That’s why I’m here.” He doesn’t question how Sirius got there, or if he’s even allowed to be there, because it’s Sirius. He wanted to come, so he’s here. 

What a fucking marvel. 

Sirius apparates far enough away from the house to avoid waking anybody up, before walking calmly back. God knows Effie will murder him if he gets caught. As he walks, he contemplates whether or not to go through the ground floor window like he did to get out, or to just risk the door. He’s climbed through a lot of fucking windows this evening. Still, it’s worth it for Remus. The thought of his evening has him smiling in an instant, the memory of the way Remus’ face had lit up sending that familiar feeling of warmth through his chest, the one only Remus could stir up in him. Fuck, he loves him. He hasn’t said anything yet, but he really does. He can’t imagine sneaking away from Effie and Monty for anyone else, but Remus needed him. Remus and his life that’s slowly imploding. He needs someone, and Sirius can be that someone. If that involves staying with him until he falls asleep every night for the rest of his life, Sirius is going to do it. He’ll stay with Remus until the end of time. 

That’s the thought that leads him to the door. Clearly his body wasn’t going to let him crawl through any more windows. 

He opens the door carefully and quietly, stepping through and closing it behind him. 

Right, he’s inside, he’s done it- 

“You’re home late.” Effie’s voice rings out from behind him, Sirius whipping around to face her. He lets his eyes sink shut, then. 

Shit. 

“Effie, hi! I just, uh… went for a walk with James.” He answers quickly. Prongs will cover for him, he always does. Good old Prongs. 

“That’s interesting, because James said he had no clue where you were when I came and asked him.” Sirius glances to Effie’s left, then, where James has seemingly materialised out of thin air, who glances at him guiltily and mouths a quick ‘sorry’. 

“...right.” 

“So? Care to explain why you’ve snuck out of the house in the middle of a war?” Her voice goes low and menacing, honestly terrifying Sirius a little. She sounds absolutely fuming. 

“I, uh…” His eyes flick to James, giving him a slight warning gaze before he speaks. Effie doesn’t know yet. “I went to see Remus.” He watches the realisation dawn in James’ eyes, who turns to glance at Effie, before back to Sirius. 

‘Now?’ He mimes silently, and Sirius gives a slight nod. “Right, I’ll leave you two alone. Glad you’re alright, Sirius. Hope Remus is too.” 

With that, James walks out, and Sirius turns back to Effie before she can keep talking. 

“Could we maybe… go and sit down? I- I’m really sorry, I think I owe you an explanation, at least.” Effie nods, always fair, the two of them making their way to the dining room and sitting down either side of the table. Anxiety immediately weaves its way into Sirius, then. 

His relationship with Remus is the reason Walburga gave him the boot, and he hasn’t even started to broach the subject with Effie because, in all honesty, he’s terrified. It took him years to accept his sexuality, how is he supposed to expect others to just… not care? He can’t get kicked out of another house. Some logical part of his brain pipes up to tell him that Effie’s never shown any signs of being homophobic before, so she probably isn’t, but that doesn’t mean she won’t be uncomfortable with him being gay. People can be surprising, Sirius knows that all too well. Still, he’s committed to it now; he just needs to find the right words. 

“Well? I’d quite like to know why you thought it was okay to go out to see your friend at night, without telling any of us! What if something had happened, Sirius? Nobody would have known how to find you, where to start looking! It was completely irresponsible-!” 

“I know, I’m sorry.” He says quietly, eyes fixed on the table. “I just- his letter was really… worrying. He’s, uh, he’s not well, his mum’s really not well, and his dad’s not great, so I wanted to make sure he was okay.” Effie’s face softens, instilling Sirius with the slightest confidence, making what he needs to do ever so slightly easier. 

“That’s really nice of you, Sirius, but couldn’t it have waited? You could have just sent a letter back, and then visited him at a more appropriate time tomorrow? I would have said yes, then, and James could have gone with you. It would have been quite nice to have a chat with Hope as well.” 

“I- I guess I just- well, I wanted-” 

Words. 

They’re really not his thing, anymore. He can never find the right ones when he needs them. At least Effie picks up on his energy, face twisting with confusion and concern. 

“Sirius, lovely, are you alright?” Any normal person would nod, take a deep breath, and gather their thoughts before they came out in a collected and measured way. 

Sirius isn’t one of those people. 

His solution? Just keep talking, try to dig himself out of this weird hole he’s trapped himself in. 

“I’m- well, what I’m trying to say is that Remus and I, we- we have a different friendship to the rest of the group. We’ve been through a lot, and-” He cringes a little at himself, stopping in his tracks. This is supposed to be a coming out, and he’s banging on about friendship? “Not even really a friendship, actually.” Shit, he’s just made it worse. “No, wait, not that we hate each other! It’s not- I didn’t go there to make him feel like shit, or anything. Fuck, wait, I shouldn’t have sworn. Christ, I’m sorry, I did it again, uh… right, no, Remus and I don’t hate each other, I promise. We’re actually- it’s the opposite, really. We’re dating, so we-” 

Oh. 

Okay, he just said it. 

It’s out now, no taking it back. 

Somehow, that makes it slightly easier to think. To slow down and figure out how to finish his tangent in some semi-coherent way. 

“...Yeah.” He murmurs to himself. “We’re, um… we’ve been dating for months now. Six. I- I had a crush on him for so much longer than that, though. Longer than I thought I had, at the time. Which also, uh… means I like guys? I’m gay. It’s- well, it’s taken me a long time to accept, but I’m- I’m fine with it now, even if you and Monty aren’t happy about it. It’s who I am, so…” He trails off, watching Effie, who has a slightly stunned expression in place of the anger and concern that had been battling over her expressions before. The silence only gives Sirius a chance to start overthinking again. He barely manages to stop himself from talking again as Effie processes. He must be struggling to hide how he feels, as Effie snaps out of her daze, reaches across the table and grabs one of Sirius’ hands. 

“Thank you for telling me.” She says softly, giving his hand a squeeze. 

“So you- you don’t mind?” He asks, a little shocked. 

“Why would I mind? You’re happy, right?” She asks gently. Sirius just nods, and she smiles reassuringly. “If you’re happy, then of course I don’t mind. Remus is a lovely boy.” 

“Yeah, but- but he’s a boy, you really don’t-?” 

“Sirius. There’s nothing you could do that would stop me from loving you, okay?” Sirius feels tears prick at his eyes, blinking them away quickly. 

“...okay.” 

He’s safe. 

He’s home, and Effie doesn’t care that he’s got a boyfriend. 

“This doesn’t mean you’re not in trouble for sneaking out!” 

“Yeah, I know.” He says, fighting an amused smile, and trying to look at least slightly apologetic. 

It just doesn’t feel like a big deal anymore.

[crossdressingdeath]

I love how in PJO Percy makes such a point of trying to spare the enemy demigods because they're just being tricked or brainwashed and he couldn't possibly let them die (because killing your enemies is for the bad guys), and then in HoO we finally get to see the POV of Nico "as long as it's not technically murder it can go in a kids' book" di Angelo, and he just does not hesitate. You're hurting his friends? You're a threat that can't be dealt with via a stern talking to? Okay. Goodbye.

[sysig]

Blind side (Patreon)

[autismsupersoldier]

a non-exhaustive list of my dunmeshi cast headcanons, as well as a fun exercise in censoring genitals in creative ways. below the cut you can see a list of notes and explanations. hope you enjoy as much as i enjoyed watching the anime!

important to preface:

now, lets get into it.

thanks for lookin! here are some sketches too:

some more falins because shes my favourite!

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy Valentine's Day! (and this blog's first post anniversary!)