#someone give me a time machine so I can fix this film

[chronicowboy]

Chimney doesn't tear his eyes away from Buck for a single second. Hen is pretty sure that if blinking weren't a necessity, he wouldn't look away from him at all. She wonders if he can even see anything through the constant film of tears, wonders whether its the guilt or the possibility of losing another brother that keeps him from stepping away. Even if she knew, she wouldn't be able to fix it.

Eddie, on the other hand, hasn't shot more than a fleeting glance through the window. He keeps his eyes on the ground or fixed on some far-off detail no one else can see. His blinks are slow and long like he's crying in three second intervals behind closed eyelids. She has a stronger idea of what it is keeping Eddie from facing the gaunt figure of Buck dwarfed by tubes and machines. She knows she can't fix this.

But she can help.

So, when Albert arrives, sombre and downcast, she asks for his and Chim's coffee orders before guiding Eddie away by the elbow. He follows without a fight like a puppet with his strings cut. He goes wherever she leads him with dragging feet like a duckling following its mother.

She sits him down at an empty table in an abandoned corner of the café, and Eddie blinks once, twice, three times before he frowns over at the line.

"I thought we were getting coffee," he rasps.

"In a minute." She takes his hand on the tabletop, and he looks at it like its a viper about to strike before his eyes fill with tears. "Eddie, talk to me."

"I-I can't," he whispers, "I can't talk about this."

"Eddie..."

"No, Hen, what right do I have to talk about him?" he seethes, words jagged with anger and broken by tears. "Everyone's known him longer. Everyone's known him longer than me. He's Bobby's kid, Maddie's brother, Chimney's brother-in-law. Hell, he's your little brother too, and you've known him longer than me, but he's not a brother to me, so what right do I have to..." He balls his free hand into a fist and presses it against his mouth.

"Eddie, you have every right." Hen slides him a napkin when he starts picking at the skin around his nails and he wastes no time in tearing it up into tiny pieces. "We may have known him longer, but no one knows him more than you." Eddie grabs another napkin to shred, jaw clenching. "Not even Maddie anymore, I don't think."

"Maybe." Eddie shrugs and its a terrible, horrible thing. All tension and fear. It reminds Hen of the Eddie that had said I'm leaving the 118 and didn't show up to team nights at the bar. "But she's his sister, she has rights to see him. What do I have?"

"Is that why you won't look at him?"

"I won't look at him because the last time someone I loved had a tube down their throat they never woke up!" Eddie startles at his own outburst, slumping back in his chair. He really does look like a puppet cut from its strings. "My last partner never woke up."

Hen flounders a little here. Honestly, even if she wasn't grief-stricken and running on two hours of sleep, she's not sure she'd know how to handle this. Its always difficult finding the right balance with Eddie, when to push and when to let him flee, but right now it feels like more of a knife edge than ever.

Does he know what he's just admitted or is it still hidden under a thousand justifications and exceptions? If he does know, does he want to talk about it or politely pretend it never happened? Should she help him figure it out or would that only do more damage if Buck never woke up?

"How's Christopher?" she manages eventually. He's a safe topic, a subject that will keep Eddie talking whilst also quite possibly giving her more insight into his little slip.

"Better than me," he sighs, grabs another napkin. "I could barely get through telling him. I think he thought he was dead." Eddie swallows. "When I finally got through it, he lit up with hope and, fuck, it broke my heart, Hen." He drags his hands down his face so roughly Hen can't help but think he's trying to distract himself with a more concrete pain. "I never thought I'd see the day when his smile made me feel anything other than happy, but it just made me angry."

"At who?"

"Buck." Eddie chokes on the word, something gruesome caught in his throat. "I wanted to yell at him, scream at him. Tell him that he's not allowed to leave. He's never been the one that leaves. I wanted to tell him that he can't leave me and Christopher alone again, he can't make me do this alone again. He promised to have my back, Hen. And, fuck, I gave him Christopher because he was never supposed to be the one in the hospital bed." Hen blinks. Does that mean what she thinks it means? She remembers something complicated passing over Buck's expression in a split second when she'd asked him if he was capable of being a father and walking away. "I was ready to storm in there and beg him to just wake the fuck up, but I couldn't make it through the door." He drops his head into his hands with a wet and broken chuckle. "Buck broke down a door to save me, and I couldn't even..."

"Eddie, listen to me." Hen cups his cheek and tilts his face so he can meet her eye. "That boy will wake up. You know we're not allowed to make promises, but I'm making you this promise because I've never been more certain of anything." And, truth is, before this, she hadn't been certain of that at all. But suddenly, a lot of things make a lot more sense. And Hen knows without a shadow of a doubt that Buck will come back to them, to Eddie and Christopher. "I could say the usual stuff. How he's a fighter, how he never gives up. But, Eddie, Buck will come back to you. Think about everything he's done for you and Chris over the years. He's not gonna let a little lightning stop him from coming home. Because he has something good, something wonderful, waiting for him right here. He has the family he's always dreamt of with you and Chris, and nothing could ever keep him away from that."

"Do you think he knows?" Eddie whispers, tears spilling over.

"I think he does. Somewhere in there, he knows, but I don't think it'd hurt to make sure he knows once he's awake." Hen wipes away a tear and pats his cheek gently. "He'll wake up, Eddie."

Later, after the barista tells them they're out of oat milk, after Chimney finally goes home, after Hen finds enough strength to sit at Buck's bedside, Eddie sneaks Christopher into Buck's room, and she can't even find it in herself to be surprised.

The only surprise is that Buck doesn't wake up.

[morkitten]

GIANT GORG BLU-RAY SUBTITLES

Recently, this wonderful 80s anime received a Blu-Ray HD release in Japan, but there are no English subtitles available for it. So I took it upon myself to rip the English DVD subtitles for Giant Gorg, run them through OCR transcription, fix line by line machine transcription mistakes, and re-time the whole thing to sync to the Blu-Ray rips online! To do that for 26 episodes was a big, often boring task, but if it makes anyone else watch and enjoy this series as much as I did, it's worth it, to me. Here's the link! Click on Keep Reading below if you wanna know more about this series before jumping in:

Giant Gorg was directed by the legendary Yoshikazu Yasuhiko, known as the character designer of the original Mobile Suit Gundam and Dirty Pair, and the director of the recent Gundam movie, Cucuruz Doan's Island, plus the creator of several manga, anime and film works like Gundam: The Origin, Arion, Jesus, Venus Wars, and many others.

Giant Gorg is kind of a precious baby of his that unfortunately never took off in popularity the way it deserved to. It's a wonderful series in the style of old adventure serials like Johnny Quest, about a boy named Yuu Tagami who, through a series of events, ends up joining/founding an exploration group to research the mysterious tropical island of New Austral, that is also on the aim of an evil corporation called GAIL, who'll do whatever it takes to claim the island and its secrets its exclusive property.

Yuu ends up finding and seemingly befriending a mysterious, ancient, and extremely powerful golem residing in the island, the titular GIANT GORG, deepening the mysteries of the land. The expedition group juggles surviving the island's natural and less-than-natural perils, managing internal conflicts, scraping by GAIL's assaults and dealing with other parties interested in the island for themselves. Plus, they now have to figure out just what the Giant Gorg is, if it can be relied on, and what is its intent. Whether this incredible being really is a Messenger of the Gods, some cataclysmic ancient weapon, or something else entirely. If I had to reduce it to something, it's old adventure serials mixed in with Mobile Suit Gundam and the Iron Giant. That's kind of what Giant Gorg is. The expedition group has a similar feeling to a much more scaled down White Base in Gundam, a group of people mostly barely related to one another forced into becoming a found family, relying on each other and surviving the strikes of a much bigger military force that's after them, with their own bureaucratic conflicts and machineries. Giant Gorg even has its own Char, in the form of Rod Balboa, a hotshot heir of GAIL that has been given control of its New Austral initiative. He's voiced by the same actor and everything!

What's truly great about GIANT GORG is how it creates a real, powerful sense of danger as stakes change and things escalate, both materially and emotionally. Characters feel like truly strong individuals that develop and peel out layers of complexity as the series goes on, and it tests your faith heavily in who they are and whether they'll do the right thing for themselves and the people they care for. There's such a great mix of excitement, sentimentalism, danger, discomfort, comedy, that makes this series feel like a truly all-encompassing and fullfilled Adventure.

So yeah, and the Blu-Ray looks fantastic, especially as someone who had to watch it originally in dim, blurry 420p resolution. So please give it a try!

[frozen-snowflakesandsunflowers]

Elsa losing her powers & Hans' Redemption + backstory | Theory

Cover created by me

Since Frozen 3 has been announced, it's left us questioning; What more could be told of the sisters' story, especially Elsa's story now that after years of searching she finally found herself as the 5th spirit? But has she really found herself? What would she be without her powers? The very thing that defines her to most. How would the world see her? But most of all how would she see herself if she lost them, even if it was temporarily. Who would this time pull her out of this new found identity crisis and who would she then become and stay as?

[Long post alert]

Elsa's losing her powers

I've seen a few posts going around theorising and wanting Elsa to lose her powers by Ahotohallan being destroyed. And reading them and understanding their perspective, I start to love the idea more and more to be honest because I honestly feel Elsa is mostly loved by the audience for her powers or at least some of the people who know her in - universe see her for her powers but what we really need to see is who she really is without it too. I think that could be quite important to see. How would she continue to look out for her family, her people, her kingdom and her forest?

Frozen 3 has been debatable since its announcement because of Frozen 2's ending, also quite controversial. I personally am always generally excited for more movement in the franchise because I'll always love Frozen no matter what. Frozen will always be in my heart, especially the first movie. But yes I am unfortunately on that "disappointing ending for Frozen 2" boat but I also see that Frozen 3 could potentially fix some of things that have been bugging some of us as well as adding and keeping the things we love. Frozen 2 was originally going to be the last film I think given Jen Lee's words in one of the interviews back then but looks like they changed their minds and might possibly be listening to us and this new director of Frozen 3 could do just that. Jennifer has recently said that there's a strategy to 'more Frozen' and that is that if there's more to tell for the story, then more Frozen will happen. So they can't keep the sisters separated for too long and will expand on the characters growth which is a good thing because it gives them the opportunity to fix the things we don't like and add things we do want to see.

Some people don't quite understand Elsa's fifth spirit role, why she had become something so unclear to understand, and made a decision to live in the forest instead. I from a perspective can understand it. Though the podcast is non canon, it's still something Elsa would do and act in on a situation given as so. The spirits are quite mythical and powerful but can easily be in evil or someone who doesn't understand magic's eye's catch and make them rage, as we do see in the podcast with Disa. But at the same time as looking after the forest, she is also concerned about her own kingdom. My explanation includes spoilers from the Frozen Podcast so skip to the 'Reasons for powerless Elsa' part. Queen Disa lives in Arendelle after a flood encounters her kingdom. Anna with open arms accepts Disa and all her people to her kingdom while Elsa had her doubts on Disa over time with her uncertainty yet knowledge for magic but respects Anna's decision of course. But actually it's just Elsa who misses being Queen having her schedule, knowing what decisions to make, but she's not at all saying Anna's a bad Queen, she just missed the role. Weird shaped machines are found in the forest that cause the spirits to act up and Elsa deals with them with Anna's help. Disa eventually admits she put the machines there because she wanted to help Arendelle. When Anna tells Disa of her confession, Elsa still feels no good about Disa despite her good intentions. The point is that Elsa is mainly in the forest to keep it out of harm's way such as we see. Also because of the fifth spirit being the bridge between Arendelle and Northuldra. If you look at the scene where the sisters reunite you could say that Elsa actually means that the bridge, the fifth spirit is both her and Anna. While Anna looks after Arendelle, Elsa looks after the forest. But I do also wish to see Elsa return back to Arendelle permanently at some point. I'll expand more on Elsa's fifth spirit role in another post but what this has to do with powerless Elsa is you first have to understand what she is with those powers now to understand how she'll be once they go.

Reason for powerless Elsa

Elsa has recently got a lot of hate - well actually I really wouldn't say hate but rather less love than she used to get because looking at the franchise as a whole Elsa takes up some of the spotlight and her growth through her powers is evident throughout. Why not really show her development in the character she really is, by making her understand not what they're worth but what she's worth with and without them. She's first seen looking at her powers as a curse and feeling fear of accepting her powers completely and seeing it as a gift that it actually was in reward to Iduna's act of saving Agnarr, her people's enemy. She's always been the most popular between the sisters too within fans and stood out more in merchandise too partly because of these powers. You'd even see kids dress more as Elsa than Anna. And that in her iconic icy blue gown. But while Elsa lost some love, Anna has gotten more love. Throughout the franchise, we see Anna's growth through optimism through all her ups and downs, especially her deepest darkest moment in Frozen 2, given she thought she lost everyone and everything at that point. It's not easy being head steady and strong in such a situation but she really showed us that we can do it.

And no I'm not saying Anna had more character growth than Elsa or vice versa in any way - please don't get me wrong here. I love the sisters both equally - it's true! I'm saying we need to see the natural side of Elsa. We need to get to know her for who she is without them too. Just like how Anna was more than just the spare (as it goes in a deleted song for Frozen) and a few years later she became Queen because she did truly earn the role through everything she endured in that sequel, the same way I want to see Elsa being more than just her powers. And while you're at it let's give her another big solo, with most or all of it being without her powers showing her athletic abilities and strong determination that is already there and is enough to survive whatever situation goes on. That moment in the dark sea when Elsa faces the very sea that killed her parents was one of my if not number one favourite moments in Frozen 2. We got to see Elsa run and jump and dive and literally fight and tame at the same time, a water horse. Elsa had been wondering her whole life about her powers origin and now that she's so close to not only seeking the truth about that but about the past that could somehow destroy the future of Arendelle too. That determination to set things right, to find out who she is is what I want to see but extract the literal magical side of it.

And as far as the theory of Anna getting powers goes, I personally don't approve of it because I think it sends the wrong message if Anna becomes like Elsa. That would make people prefer one or another even more and create the typical 'whose more powerful' argument etc. Anna already has powers. It's love. Yes love. It may not be a literal thing she can shoot out her Hans like Elsa but like hers, it's in a way a true force of nature. It's the strongest power there and Anna shares that power with everyone. So instead of giving a character powers they should strip Elsa of her powers temporarily to get those who see her for just her powers, to see her as so much more than that.

The effect of losing her powers

Elsa losing her powers would make Elsa be in an identity crisis, thinking she's nothing without them. In Frozen, her identity crisis was about how she was with her powers, feeling too dangerous for this world. But she's grown since then and has come to terms with them so now instead of feeling relieved as she would've in the first movie, she feels anxiety of not being enough to protect this world. Everyone has mostly relied on her because of her magic, so she would fear everyone loving her less or thinking herself as useless without them or something along those lines. (In Frozen 2 we literally see her taking requests from a few of the citizens to make ice sculptures). Elsa then finds herself back to square one; Hiding from everyone, wanting to be alone or hating herself. And I'm not saying everyone, in Arendelle and around, love for her for her magic only but Elsa, losing her powers, would think that but now that she's embraced her powers, with Arendelle and Northuldra now looking onto her as their saviour, protector, warrior etc, it's natural for her to think so. I mean think about it - girl has been with these powers since she was born, they're literally a part of her. She hated them for most of her life ever since she first hit Anna with them, then she sees let's go of holding it back to finally seeing the beauty in them and then starts questioning it's purpose and if she was meant for more as she feels them growing so she starts to search for answers in a place where she meets other creatures similar to her feeling like she's not alone with being the only known magical being as a call comes from the North which leads her to finally finding the birthplace of her powers and finally embracing them but then.. they just go. Just like that. That would totally cause major trauma and grief and stress. She's relied on them for so long. She finally embraced them. Finally found out she was with them. They even saved her life multiple times. They were the very first gift. She thinks she's everything she is because of her powers; in Frozen, she thinks she can only harm with them, feeling like a monster and here she thinks she can only save and protect lives with them, feeling like a saviour/ protector. But through a journey she could have with Anna or even solo one similar to the journey to the North mountain (or rather to her building her ice castle) in Frozen or the journey to Ahotohallan in Frozen 2, she starts to see that she's more than just her powers. She learns to love herself for her true self, with or without them. That would mean she would learn to be less reliant on her powers and more of her natural elements. It's what's inside the heart that really matters. With everything she's been through so far she thinks she's finally found herself, finally embraced her magic, in Frozen 2, but no she really hasn't. I know she's the Fifth Spirit/ the Snow Queen and that's what her powers are of and that's what she is and you would think that would be her final destination of her journey of growth but no - fact is she is more than just her powers and she needs to see this.

How would she lose them?

Some of you might be wondering well, how would Elsa lose her powers? It would mean something bad happens to Ahotohallan. But no not necessarily because Ahotohallan could be the one testing her. It did give her the gift in the first place so it's much capable of taking it back too. But you also wonder, she finally finds who she is, what her role in life is, so how can she live up to it and fulfil her duties without her powers? Remember that these were a gift to her as a reward for Iduna saving Agnarr when they were younger. Let's not forget the most important part of it all that, Iduna saved Agnarr without any powers. From what we saw of her flashbacks, she had a close relationship with the spirits so they helped her in saving Agnarr. So Elsa should look back to that moment and believe she can still save the forest and her kingdom from any kinds of threats without her powers too. The spirits will obviously keep their bond with Elsa, if they're around depending on how Elsa loses her powers but she could too, like her mother, use the spirits' help but not for things that would take away the whole point of this test. That's one option to stripping Elsa's powers temporarily, a test from Ahotohallan to see her courage and determination to protect her kingdom and forest as well as those she loves, too see if she will still keep what she has learnt of the lessons she has learnt from last experiences. Another option could be a punishment from Ahotohallan. Perhaps Elsa takes her magic too far and gets carried away with it leading Ahotohallan to see Elsa being ungrateful. I mean she was originally in the concept set to be the villain if it wasn't for "Let it go"'s huge success and other reasons too. It would be interesting to see if Elsa takes a dark turn in believing whatever it is she's doing wrong is for the good. But I think the first option is more likely if Elsa were to lose her powers because it really pushes her limits and her character growth and shows everyone that she can be just as naturally strong like her sister and can depend on her one natural abilities and skills too.

The physical change

Speaking of Iduna, losing her powers would mean all those physical features of hers that show her powers would go making her go brunette like her mother, just like Anna has strawberry blonde hair similar to their father's and grandfather's. Her clothes would perish given they're mostly created with her own magic and so she'd have to rely on earth material clothes. Her skin would turn warmer from being as pale as the skin gets when one's cold. Her attire colour pall would de - transform from a bright and pale cool colour bright palette to a darker, desaturated one, still in cool colours to separate it from Anna's wardrobe but also to show that she still loves her cool colours. Anna has the greens and reds and warm pinks but I think Elsa will be similar to how she was locked up in her room with the dark pale blues and blacks representing the trauma and identity crisis within. It'll be a parallel to her trauma when being locked up. While her role-found gown is white, her no power attire should black. Then as she starts to understand the point of all this, starts to learn the lesson from this, her costumes start having more colour and perhaps when she's finally found herself it'll be blue and white showing the two parts of herself she found while struggling on a journey with her powers inn Frozen and Frozen 2.

Hans' role and redemption

Okay I know the very mentioned of Hans will blow some peoples heads off thinking “He's just a one time villain and joke” or “He tried to kill Elsa! Anna won't ever forgive him” or “Elsa mocked him in Frozen 2! She won't forgive him either” etc etc. But I'm not going to waste my time trying to explain why Hans deserves redemption and that he wasn't really evil or the real villain of the story, when the lovely @a13thprincefora13thprincess has taken hours out of her time to write the most beautifully written 13 part analysis on who Hans really is. It's incredible. It's what got me to really push on the call to Redeem Hans.

So while she breaks down Hans' true intention, I'm going to try and explain his return for redemption and his pivotal role in Elsa's identify crisis.

I think Hans would be quite important here and have a good parallel with Elsa's crisis here. How and what's his role in it? Well let me briefly explain Hans true intention first. Anna hates Hans, and everyone does too really for almost killing Elsa and attempting to overthrow Elsa's newly royal status as monarchy of Arendelle. But really if we look at the situation closely, the entire council including the Duke were begging Hans to kill her because she couldn't end it the winter herself and because they fear Elsa's powers could harm others. They wouldn't get off his back. Hans wasn't listening at first because in almost all the scenes Hans has encountered Elsa he's tried to convince her to not be what “they” [Citizens and the council] (not him) fear she is and try and stop this winter. But the more he saw Elsa controlling her powers by making a huge ice castle, a snow beast, a new attire, hurting Anna (seemingly intentional to him as by Anna's words), breaking out of the handcuffs and the prison cell and finally the blizzard having a sudden stop the moment he told Elsa Anna's dead, the more he saw that Elsa lied to him about not being able to control her powers which led to him eventually agreeing to kill Elsa seeing as innocent lives were in danger given the blizzard. Before the final straw, being the handcuff and prison break, he was gentle and kind, he never said anything mean about the sisters nor did anything against them til. Hans was stressed and put under pressure given the citizens of Arendelle freezing to death, the council begging him to execute Elsa, Anna going missing for days in freezing weather, begging Elsa to end this winter and Anna being the case of Elsa going rouge and freezing the kingdom by causing as scene at the coronation party. It was really a misunderstanding and his behalf. As I'm sure you've heard a few times in Disney media, villains aren't evil, just misunderstood. But really the council are the real villains of Frozen, not Hans. But then again seeing that kind of magic and the way her powers came out, one would feel scared and think she's some kind of Sorceress.

Hans' "villainy" reveal scene

When the kingdom was thawed, and Hans was surprised to see Anna alive, he said to her he thought Elsa froze her heart. I just want to go back to the scene where Hans "villainy" is revealed because I want to explain as briefly, as I can, how him being stressed was the cause of his bad decisions from that point after. Hans is surprised to see Anna alive, when she came to him for the kiss, because when his horse, who Anna rode to find Elsa, ran back to him he thought Anna didn't survive the cold and died. But Anna tells him Elsa froze his heart which genuinely surprises him because Anna before had told him Elsa would never hurt her and with such powers that Elsa had making everyone fear her, Hans genuinely believed Anna with that being said. What makes Hans think Elsa did this deliberately, is her lack of explanation, her precise words to Hans, who says she said herself Elsa wouldn't hurt her, being “Nope. I was wrong”. From this point Hans starts feeling confused as to what Elsa's intention is and realises that he has to kill Elsa before she hurts anyone else. As for Anna he starts thinking she deserved it because all of this was all Anna's fault because if she didn't create a scene at the coronation party, Elsa wouldn't have ran and accidentally cause the Kingdom to freeze and wouldn't have had the repetitive suggestions to kill Elsa and Anna too wouldn't have been hurt and Arendelle would've kept their respect for him. So it makes sense for Hans to burst under stress in anger on Anna leading him to go mad. Imagine it like this: You are put in charge of a kingdom. You have to make sure the citizens are warm and safe, but have to reason with the 'gone rouge' Queen and have to find the missing Princess all the while the Kingdom gets colder and people start to freeze to death. Stressful right? Not just for a ruler but anyone put in charge would feel the same kind of pressure in a situation like that.

Swapped roles and intended plot holes

Originally, Hans was supposed to be a good guy while Elsa was the Villain. The good and evil roles were swapped around after Disney heard "Let it Go". That's why Hans' villain reveal felt so sudden and was unexpected. And that's why Hans' is alongside Elsa, Aan, Kristoff, Sven and Olaf I'm some of the movie posters. That confirms that what we saw of Hans before this villain reveal was indeed genuine. They also wanted Hans falling for Elsa too, which is why they have that chemistry, that dynamic, those scenes that get us, Hesla fans, to ship them. That's why the plot holes such as how Hans brought Elsa to the castle and how and why he gave her the blanket in the dungeon etc exist. And speaking of those specific plot holes [events from Elsa's ice palace to the dungeon], we can almost say for certain that it was Hans who carried her to and on his horse and gave her the blanket in the dungeon. The chains could be Hans or either or the guards, believing that the chains would hold back Elsa's powers. What I say it was Hans is because why would the Weselton guards carry her when they hate her and follow the order to kill her, and why would her one Arendellian guards carry her when they fear her. Hans is probably the only one who doesn't fear her. He's really just shown doing his responsibility as the one in charge.

So really we, who want Hans redeemed, are just trying to make sense of Hans' character rather than accept that he's all of a sudden a villain when before he revealed it, it wasn't really shown, hence the twist of the movie.

Feeling the guilt

Back to the Frozen's real villains, the Duke's punishment was cutting off all trades with Weselton and Hans' punishment was being sent back home. When the guards send both of them in the boat (separately), the Duke tried to resist and get out of it making excuses but Hans didn't. He didn't even say nor do anything to resist being sent back home and leave Arendelle. It's like he was already feeling the heavy guilt and regret. So why is going home a cruel enough punishment for Hans whether or not Arendelle knew Hans' backstory? But more so what is Hans' backstory? Let's find out.

Hans' backstory and intention

Hans is a prince from the Southern Isles, a neighbouring kingdom to Arendelle. His family consists of both his parents, and 13 older brothers. Being the youngest and least important in a large family would be difficult for anyone, royal or not. He is the youngest of 13 brothers. In the book 'A Frozen heart', it's revealed that Hans' father and brothers excluding the third oldest, Lars, treated him harshly and disrespectfully both emotionally and physically because he was the youngest son and last in line throne and hence to their eyes, useless. To add to it, all of his brothers including Lars, are married excluding Hans making him more vulnerable to his father's and brothers despise for him. His mother however, loves Hans' nonetheless just like any mother would love her son. His father had a saying to him that goes something like “The strong should pick on the weak”, which was his excuse of treating Hans like so. Hans wanted to prove to his father and brothers that they are wrong about him, and in fact is capable of ruling a kingdom, of respect, of love. He had to face it; he's never going to get the throne of his own and feel loved, whether his brothers have offspring or not and as much as he tried he just felt neglected, so he decided to squeeze into a throne somewhere else. Lars was the youngest child for a while so he knows somewhat how Hans is feeling. With his help, Hans found out that he could fit into the throne of Arendelle hearing upon Elsa's coronation. While his brothers and father could care less about where or what Hans' was doing, I'm assuming he told his mother that he was going to Arendelle for the coronation as a guest on behalf of his kingdom.

So when he got to Arendelle, after Anna ran off to find Elsa after the incident and the coronation party, she left him in charge and that led the the kingdom and the council to rely on him and that is what made Hans feel important and feel like this is his chance to prove himself worthy of love and respect by giving the same to the people. But being put in charge of the kingdom also came with pressure of holding the responsibility such as making sure the princess and Queen are safe, making sure the people are looked after, etc. Having sent back home, after attempting to kill Elsa, instead of receiving respect and love from his family he originally thought he would do so by gaining or rather stealing the throne and proving his worthiness of love and attention, he instead will be recieving more despise and disappointment from them along with other punishments of their own too like we see in Frozen Fever. And as he faces punishment he would regret more and more giving in to the council's manipulation to attempt to murder Elsa and most of all for letting the people of Arendelle, who looked up to him and relied on him for care and warmth (metaphorically and literally), down. In fact no; the worst of punishments is his mother's disappointment in him. He let his own respect down from the eyes of everyone down.

Hans' role in Elsa's identity crisis

So now we can finally answer the question, 'How and what's Hans' role in Elsa's identity crisis?'. Given all that said about Hans' intention, a way for him to seek forgiveness would be doing the exact opposite of what he was going to do, which would be saving Elsa's life. He won't have this idea come to mind when going ot seek forgiveness but a situation may arise in which he does do so and rectifies his past mistake. Now many have theorised and hoped for Elsa's powers to disappear temporally leading Elsa to go on an identity crisis, given she's had her whole life with them, fearing them loving them and for them to go would cause chaos within her as I've explained above. If Hans returns for redemption, he would also be finding himself while trying to seek that forgiveness. Hans will never be king and he may not feel himself worthy to be king anyways after what he's done. He's the spare of all the spares. So what his purpose in life? All he can do to start the road to redemption is ask for forgiveness to Elsa and Anna by helping them somehow perhaps..? So while Hans has his identity crisis (his own redemption arc), Elsa begins hers too. Elsa is now just a regular girl and she would think everyone hates but Hans would tell her that no, she's more than just her powers as he knows what it feels like not being important anymore and feeling like you've let people down, losing everything of which you claimed as your identity. They'd share a moment of heart felt talks and understandings but perhaps before this moment he saves her from doing something that would kill her and he saves her knowing he might die instead because saving Elsa without a risk to himself would make Elsa not buy it as he has saved her once, before he trusted to kill her, which would rectify his crime in attempted murder of Elsa. Why would Hans want to die? Well as I just explained on what I believe Hans backstory to be of, and given the outcome the situation in Frozen, Hans' would have to accept that he will never be loved by anyone. So upon trying to see forgiveness from Elsa (and Anna), he doesn't think they'll accept it and just sarafices himself for Elsa because he now knows Anna can't live without her. He knows that they have a stronger sibling bond than he had with his brothers. But when they're both safe, they sit somewhere and have a conversation in the situation they're in, like mini conversation in the dungeon in Frozen, but more impactful and meaningful. It would make Elsa begin to see that there really is more to Hans than just his mistakes and he starts to grow on her. She has no reason to believe he's still after the throne or any kind of power because she's not Queen anymore and doesn't even have her powers but is instead just a regular girl (and Anna is taken anyways). Their interaction could go something like this: “I'm nothing. I'm not the Queen anymore, I don't been have my powers. I'm just.. a regular girl”/ “A regular girl who is a Princess who gave up her crown to someone who you thought deserved it more because you didn't want to take away the attention of being the 5th spirit and Queen from someone who loved so much, she save your life twice. That's a true nobility of a Queen.”. Those wondering how Hans would know what went down in Frozen 2, well, given that Arendelle has made peace with the Southern Isles (as written in a newsletter in the new Arendelle theme park in Japan), the King and Queen would be talking about it and Hans would know from them. If Elsa was still Queen there would be doubts that he is still after the throne or if Elsa has her powers, some might say he wouldn't love her without them or he's trying to study Elsa's magic etc. We know her own family, Anna, Kristoff, Sven and Olaf would love her with or without powers and I'm sure the people of Arendelle and Northulra do but we need someone who would cause some doubts to people in order for Elsa to find herself. So that's why it's so perfect for Hans to come into the picture when Elsa loses her powers temporarily.

Learning from the situation

After she regains her powers, the lesson she would have learnt is that she is more than just her powers. And Hans would be the king to his Queen and gain his respect and love without actually being the king and having respect through being a monarch. And I think it fits in well with the story, making that part of the reason why Elsa gave up the throne to Anna; So that Hans would love her for who she is, with or without her powers, with or without the crown. Some might say Elsa is better off alone but I think not because one, love can happen to anyone even if they're an independent person, and two, I personally find it necessary for Elsa's partner to be one who loves her with or without the crown and her powers and as I just explained Hans is a perfect example of that. Just because Elsa seems alone doesn't mean she's not interested in men or isn't attracted to anyone. I believe she was just focusing on self discovery through her powers and family through Anna. Now that she's found herself and is assuming that Anna is well and about to enter a new life with marriage to Kristoff, it would be a great time to get Elsa to unintentionally explore romantic love. But anyways I think this theory, of Elsa having a love interest whose no longer after status, would fit in well because Anna deserves the crown for everything she is and has done for others with or without the crown and Elsa would be loved with or without her powers and the crown and by someone too. It would fit in with their individual arcs perfectly! Elsa and Hans need unconditional love from each other. Hans' biological family don't give him enough of that and Elsa needs it from someone other than family.

If Hans returns, which I believe is possible with all the hints lately, and if the writers feel like taking Elsa's powers away for some time, in the movie, then there you have it - my theory comes true.

Plus further reasons why Elsa and Hans are soulmates are these; Elsa is a North girl, while Hans is south. Elsa is born in winter and given Hans' hair colour and some people associate him with fire, but imma take that as an Autumn guy.

But alas until the run up to Frozen 3, updates of it, and/ or until we get further Frozen content with its 10th anniversary coming up in just 17 days, we can only keep hoping and joining the dots for more of a possibility.

[hypervoxel]

do you have any headcanons about Velvet?

I have so many thoughts about Velvette. They are hampered slightly by the fact that I know next to nothing about the fashion industry (I've seen The Devil Wears Prada tho, so there's that?)... However, I kind of think her main focus for fashion within VoxTek is overseeing costume design for various shows/films/commercials. I think she was into musicals and set and costume design for them when she was alive.

That's if I give her fashion as a main focus though. Because I am also enamored with her just doing fashion shows right now for fun. Sure, she likes dressing up herself, but organizing fashion shows are not her main thing, it's just a passing fancy. Maybe it's just Pentagram City Fashion Week right now. She'll be onto the next trend as soon as she decides what trend that's going to be.

In either case, I think she's great with computers, but focused on websites, design, editing, etc. She can program mad HTML or CSS but she doesn't know anything about, like, computer specs or building your own PC. She knows how to design and host websites, but she's a big fan of using virtual machines so she doesn't have to know how to actually fix the physical servers. She knows 20 apps you can use to touch up photos and make better Sinstagram* posts, and she's great at video editing. She would have loved TikTok if she were alive for it. If a printer isn't printing, she will throw it out the window instead of checking if it needs new drivers installed.

*(sorry I like that parody app name better than Voxtagram)

I've been playing with the idea of her having radio powers of her own, but specifically and only affecting the Bluetooth spectrum range. This makes her less powerful but very versatile, especially with modern technology. She can connect to and spy on your phone, and this is how she meets Vox and Val in my little backstory that takes advantage of that headcanon <3 The way her phone call went straight to Vox's screen actually isn't normal for him: that's a skill only Velvette posseses. She also AirDrops memes straight onto his face while he's in the middle of board meetings just to mess with him. Also she and Vox have kinky telepathy sex.

She loves gossip, and will always find a chance to share the drama with all of her viewers. But she's the kind of vlogger who makes videos like, "here's 20 minutes of me doing whatever I want to do," and her viewers eat it up.

When she was alive, she had the meanest, scrungliest, most pathetic feral cat that she rescued from the side of a road. The pathetically godawful thing stole her previously thought to be non-existent heart. She took it to a vet hospital and paid for its surgery, and she vlogged her saga of caring for this cat, then the custody battle when the cat's former owner wanted it back but like no fuck you, it's her cat now. This cat boosted her from being a small time creator to having a legit audience. Everyone loves her cat.

This also made her in-universe (while she was alive) stans the Worst bc you can never question Velvette, she's literally such a good person, she's the kind of person who rescues half dead cats and nurses then back to health!! If she bullies and suicide-baits someone online it's because they deserve it. Her fans will never abandon her. She's not evil! How dare you call her out. She literally saves animals out of the pure goodness of her heart!

[omega-tech]

how was my weekend shift at my job!!! (incoming rant)

Ok, where to start. Well for the past three days, I was on quality until saturday. Let me start by saying that I was only trained to do quality work for an hour, then a whole day. And I did quality in the worst way ever, even when trying to ask for help. I get pushed away while they would do my work for me then try to teach me and what I made a mistake on. So that night I just threw my hands up and gave up. I never thought they would train someone to do quality work for one hour and then hope for the best after that. I didn't learn shit from that training personal or my team leader who was working with me. I mean I was trained to do the stables lines, gluers inlet box, paper work, labeling and etc. but where I am now is the execution area where I made the film to make trash bags out of. I had to learn everything by myself when no one wanted to train me the proper then a fucking so call “hack” or “trick”. Yet these muther fucker blame me when shit goes down when they didn’t give me the proper training or skills i needed to know and learn about. Also I don’t have no one to supervise the help and training I need. Do ya think an hour of training is enough to do quality, which is the biggest thing to do before it gets run into a line to make trash bags outta of. Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am already thinking about looking for another job but I don't know if I wanna jump right back where I was last year when no one wanted to hire me or give me a chance with these skills set I have in hand. Hell i didn’t ask to go to fucking execution when i was trying to advance up to B1 level and get the two dollars rise. But the fucking team leaders didn’t think i couldn’t do the fucking job even through i was already learning how to put chip carts, glue pebbles in the hopper hot tub, fix minor issue to the stable box machine, and all source of shit i was doing on the floor as a material handler then a operator B1 when working with two of my operators C1. Yet it wasn’t good enough to work that position and get thrown in the back. 

I should just calm down and try to process the bullshit I was dealt with by the people who didn’t give me the right training all while they were thinking of the output production number if we made it and satisfied  their customer to our consumers. I think just next time I would ask if I will have someone with me training me and watching me for more than an hour. If not, I will gently ask to step down until I am given a person to work with. 

At my old job, when someone gets trained on the first day or moving up a position, they train with that person within the eights outta five days or two weeks to get everything down and skill level up so much that they can work on their own without my help. I trained people for the whole eight to twelve hours for seven to two weeks before they do their test to see if they can make it on their own then with assistance from me or others. Well at this job, you do get the proper training as a material handler, but! As for trying to advance up to a B1 like I was trying to do. I had to prove to my cell leaders and team leaders if I was good enough, which in most of the cell leaders' eyes I was good as long as I got the training but the damn cold hearted team leaders don’t see that way at all. I am busting my ass off to try to move up in this company yet I am faced with multiple challenges on a daily basis when someone on this shift doesn’t want to do their job but yet they get rewarded. Yeah, award the lazy workers then the hard working person. 

If things don’t turn out to be good, I will try to work as much overtime as possible before I quit this job, to save enough money before i quit. I might not even put in my two weeks notice since it might not be worth it since this company alone goes through employees like toilet paper like my old job at pactiv. I am just done working at these factory jobs but that is what temples have in this town. Fucking factory jobs then good jobs that could push this town a better place then what it is now. I just hope I can make it at the end of the year so I can start going to school for my CNC OPERATOR or fall back on my back up plan as a CDL license driver and work a Monday thru Friday kindle deal then a rotation shift of twelve hours shifts. That my little rant of what happened on my saturday night shift at reynolds.

[kiku91]

I wanted to share this real quick, because I really love the story telling here! This is a short student film called “Love Language” by EriFabrize on YouTube. (The comments are turned off, otherwise I’d be singing it’s praises there.) (TW: step-families, parent loss, parent death)

There is so much subtext here. The story follows a young anthropomorphic puppy bonding with her new stepfather who is a dinosaur.

Those who don’t know, I lost my mother when I was a thirteen and within a couple years, my dad started dating a coworker and several years later, married her. It took me years to call her my “stepmum” instead of “my dad’s wife”, not out of resentment, but it just didn’t feel right. Even now I only call her stepmum as a title, and address her by her first name. (It’s all fine, she never pressured me to do so.) Whether you get good or not so good stepparents, that transition is very uncomfortable, especially if your first parent is no longer in the picture. In the short film it’s left vague on whether the puppy’s bio father left or died, however they don’t even have proper pictures of their father. (I can relate to this, because 70% of the pictures of my mum were from before us kids were born.) When you don’t get a lot of time to process the change, you feel displaced, and lots of times when you vent, older people tell you to consider the parent who lost a partner and “they deserve to be happy” however that doesn’t help your feelings when you lost that person too, but you don’t get the same closure if you don’t instantly bond with the new partner. I’m rambling, but the big point, without giving away too many spoilers, is “Love Language” shows how step parents aren’t meant to replace or take over your memories of your first parents, but to have your own special bond and friendship. For me: growing up my bio mum would make doll clothes for me, and one time she made a beautiful dress for colonial day for me. She wasn’t great at passing on technical knowledge so when she passed away, I was stuck trying to figure out how to use her old sewing machine. Now it’s been almost 19 years since my mum passed, but in the last 6-10 years, my stepmum has been helping me learn how to use my mum’s sewing machine better so I can use it for cosplays and repairing my own clothes. (I tend to use clothing until it’s in tatters) It meant so much, and my stepmum knows how much it means to use my mum’s sewing machine, and if it’s a little too advanced for me, my stepmum will use her own machine to fix something for me.

My stepmum’s family is German, and as I learned German in high school it was amazing to have someone besides my dad (his German is limited) talk to me about the German language, and read my song translations (it was a thing I did a lot in high school).

My stepmum never tried to replace my mum, she first opened up as my friend, and over the years we bonded by the things above, and quietly snarking at my dad’s (I love you, man, but I think I got my autism from you) interesting oddities. My mum and I bonded through words of affirmation and touch. My stepmum and I bonded through gift giving and acts of service. I’m so lucky that she was so patient, and let our relationship grow naturally. Do I miss my bio mum? Absolutely. I have gone through all the stages of grief, and actually as I’m writing this, my mother’s birthday was Friday. (She would have been 69 years old.) But I’m glad we have media that shows that transition with stepparents.

[adventures-in-a-world-of-fiction]

What if The Mummy 3 had been a good film?

I recently rewatched The Mummy 3 and remembered all the things that were bad about it, but what annoys me is that they had a lot of the pieces for a good movie. In my annoyance, I have ended up thinking about how it could have gone. So here is my version of The Mummy 3, if it had been good.

Most of the backstory can stay the same but let's skip the Great Wall stuff because that doesn’t work geographically. Evil emperor, big army, wants to become immortal. He conquers loads of lands and then starts building a special site near Xian to research immortality. Loads of workers die but the emperor doesn't care and they end up buried in the foundations. As part of the research, the emperor hears about a mystic gem that's supposed to lead to the Fountain of Eternal Life, but he can't figure out how to make it work. He hears about a witch and sends his general out to find her. The rest is basically the same - love affair, murder, curse. The emperor and his armies are turned into terracotta. The emperor is sealed in his secret chamber but the rest of the soldiers are lined up outside it. The local people don't want the soldiers waking up, so they smash the warriors to bits and bury them, but they don't find the secret room with all the magic stuff.

Centuries later, a local farmer finds bits of broken warrior and Chinese archaeologists investigate (because why not give the Chinese credit for their own discoveries?) but they don't find the secret room. They think they've found the first emperor’s tomb and start reassembling the broken warriors, not knowing the danger they're in.

Backstory over, enter Alex, who's joined the dig and thinks he's found some information that will lead to the secret room. He finds it, there are some traps, and he finds the gem, the oracle bones, and what he thinks is a statue of the emperor. Lin comes in to try and kill him because she's afraid he'd going to raise the emperor. There's a fight, but he makes it out with the bones and the gem, while the Chinese military, led by General Yang, drive Lin out, saving Alex's life. The film is set in 1946, which is when the Chinese Civil War restarted (funny that the film never mentioned this) leading to the rise of communism, so you could have Yang talking about the unrest and thinking that Lin must be part of the rebellion. The army start to take the statues to Xian but Alex keeps the bones and gem with him.

Meanwhile, back in England, Rick attempts to learn to fish and fails spectacularly. He returns home and gets a phone call from New York. It's Evie. She's off putting together an exhibit (if they couldn't get the same actress, it would be better to not have Evie in the film at all) but Rick stayed behind because he got injured on their last dig and he's supposed to be resting and relaxing so he can recover. Instead of lying to each other and pretending to be happy when they're clearly not (because that retirement plotline made no sense for either character), Rick admits that he's finding this whole relaxation thing a challenge. He tells her what happened with the fish.

"Evie, it's not that funny. Stop laughing. Evie, I swear to god, stop laughing at me or I will end this call. Evie!"

Rick speculates about going over to join Evie because his injury is healed now, but she's nearly finished her work there and then Rick gets a letter from Alex, the son he loves and is really proud of and has a great relationship with (because all the family "drama" during the first half of the film was entirely unnecessary). Rick decides to go and join Alex instead, and that Evie can come to them when she finishes up in New York.

Jump to Jonathan's night club in Xian. Alex comes in, has a little exchange with Jonathan, bumps into someone spilling his drink and it looks like he's about to start a fight - only it turns out to be Izzy from the second film (because how many daredevil pilots is Rick friends with?). They have a drink and a chat. Alex asks what Izzy's up to these days and Izzy says he's still flying, mostly taking crazy tourists up through the mountains, but how even the most dangerous of flights is nothing like as dangerous as what he used to have to deal with when he was with the O'Connells.

"I swear, every time your dad shows up, someone tries to kill me."

*Rick appears.* "Hi, Izzy." *Three seconds later, Lin shows up and tries to steal back the gem and bones from Alex, leading to a big fight.*

Izzy: "Every time, O'Connell! Every time!"

Rick: "At least no one's shooting at you."

They all head to the statue to try and figure out what's going on. Alex deciphers some text and works out that the bones could be used to wake the emperor.

Rick: "Let's not do that."

Alex: "Yeah, Mum will be mad if we summon an ancient evil with magical powers while she's not here."

Rick: "And, you know, the whole 'ancient evil with magical powers' thing."

Alex: "Right. Yes."

But then Yang arrives because he was just waiting for Alex to decipher the ritual. There's a hostage situation, he forces Alex to do the spell to save his dad. Lin shows up to try and stop it but she's too late and the emperor's statue comes to life. All the other, broken statues in the area come to life too and start reassembling themselves. Insert humorous moment where two half-reconstructed statues get into a scuffle about which of them an arm belongs to. Lin stops trying to kill the O'Connells and they all start working together to try and take down the emperor.

Cue chase scene through the city, including a chase on the city walls (which are huge and awesome). Jonathan gets caught up in the chase scene.

Jonathan: "I hate mummies!"

Alex: "They're not actually mummies. They're soldiers who were cursed to become terracotta and now..."

Jonathan: "They're trying to kill us! Do you think I care about semantics?!" *Panic. Flail. Scream.*

This then becomes a running joke. Jonathan, Izzy, Rick, or someone else will refer to the emperor or his warriors as mummies, Alex will try to correct them, whoever it is will tell him it's not the time or they don't care.

The emperor and Yang get the gem and head off to find the fountain. The heroes set off after them with Izzy ("I'd better get another huge diamond out of this, O'Connell.") and Lin. Rick wonders if Ardeth Bay would have any ideas how to fight these mummies ("They're not actually..." "Not now, Alex."). No romance arc. No stupid yak jokes. Just a flight, a dodgy landing, a fight at the monastery, some yetis, the emperor puts the gem on the tower and sees the way, leaves everyone else buried in the avalanche.

Instead of Rick getting shot for family angst, having Izzy getting shot leading to mild angst and then later jokes.

Izzy, bleeding to death: "I should have known this would happen if I signed up with you again." *passes out*

Rick is guilty and grieving because he dragged Izzy into this. Lin leads the heroes into Shangri La to the fountain and they save Izzy. Played for jokes for the rest of the film ("I got shot" "You got better").

The emperor gets to the fountain, steals the oracle bones from them, gets his magical transformation powers, becomes a dragon that looks more like Chinese renderings of dragons instead of European pictures of dragons. He grabs Lin and flies off with her. Izzy flies the rest of them down and then goes off with Jonathan to fetch reinforcements.

Alex goes to rescue Lin, but she's halfway through her own escape attempt (because, seriously, why was she just sitting around waiting to be rescued in the film?). She's stolen back the oracle bones and needs to get them to her mum to raise all the dead people who were worked to death by the emperor. Lin's plan works. The emperor resurrects his army, but Lin's mum raises hers and there's a big fight. Lots of shooting. Stuff blows up. It looks like all hope is lost... and then Jonathan and Izzy show up with the promised reinforcements. They've brought Ardeth Bay and a bunch of his people and they fight the terracotta warriors.

Ardeth Bay: "I thought you said you were fighting mummies. These aren't mummies."

Alex: "Thank you! Finally!""

The emperor dies, the old general and the immortal witch are reunited, Izzy and Jonathan argue about which of them deserves to keep the giant diamond, Ardeth Bay and Lin bond over having to keep ancient evil people safe from these irresponsible English people who go around bringing them back to life, and Alex and Rick argue about which of them has to explain to Evie that they nearly destroyed the world again.

We skip cliched and painful romance arcs, we skip bad characterisation and unnecessary family drama, we don’t have the wrong actress playing a character without any of the chemistry of the original films, and the constant referring to creatures that aren’t mummies as mummies becomes a deliberate joke and not a plot hole.

[lunarticxenia]

Moon Signs Pt. 2

Hi guys here’s part 2 of the moon sign series! After I post this, I’m going to be focusing more on answering your questions, I have a lot to answer. Thanks so much for all the support! Without further ado, here’s Libra through Pisces moons! 

🌵Libra Moon: You guys LOVE attention, and you don’t even try to hide it LMAO. One of my good friends is a Libra moon and he literally loves to say outlandish things just to get a reaction from us and to get attention from us if we’re not talking to him enough in a conversation. Libra moons also love relationships and if underdeveloped they may feel incomplete without one. They can also be very dependent on their partner for happiness as well. However, they are romantic and in love with love. They’re also extremely sensitive and are very feminine. Even in men, it gives them a more feminine touch to their personality. They also hold their morals in very high regard. They have their set morals and won’t change them for anything or anyone. They also tend to hate conflict and usually shy away from confrontation. They’re also too nice, WAYYYYYY too nice. You guys need to be more assertive LMAO. They’re also extremely optimistic and if they don’t believe in that particular way they at least try to be optimistic with others. They’re always reminding you the glass is half full. Also, Libra moons are mad clingy. Even with those they’re not dating LMAO. My Libra moon friend whenever I try to leave the FaceTime Call, he’s like “Don’t go... :(”. They just love to be around the ones they love. They’re also in love with beauty, and all things beautiful in the world. They’re lovers of music, art, film, and literature. Libra moons also have a softness in their eyes, I can’t describe it. This girl I used to like has a Libra moon and her eyes were just so soft. They’re also extremely indecisive, they tend to flip flop between who they wanna be and what they wanna do. They also aren’t shy when it comes to compliments, they will compliment TF out of you. They’re the best hype man. They also put others before themselves a lot, and can be very shy upon first meeting them. However once they feel comfortable around you they open up. One last thing, I feel like they tend to like anyone who’s nice to them...don’t attack me. LMAO.  

🌵Scorpio Moon: I feel like Scorpio moons have about ten different playlists relating to their emotions and still won’t open up to anyone about how they feel. Scorpio moons I feel have such intense emotions that they just don’t deal with them and they tend to implode after a while. I relate to them a lot in that respect tbh with my Sun square Moon, because that’s how I am. You guys are also super passionate and super creative. Every Scorpio moon I’ve met has been really creative in some way whether it be makeup, fashion style, or artwork. I’ve also noticed that this is a very alluring placement, there’s this intriguing way about them, and like Aries Moons, they have a fire in their eyes. Their gaze is INTENSE. They’re also very selective with who they let close to them, they don’t let just anybody in. They’re also very good at reading other people and seeing people’s true intentions. They have an extremely good intuition. If underdeveloped this can be used to manipulate other people, as well as being compulsive liars. Scorpio moons are also very protective over the ones they love. If you mess with anyone they care about, they will kill you. End of story. Also I feel like every Scorpio moon I’ve met has been through the wringer, like they’ve really had some hard experiences, it’s so sad to me. Scorpio moons are also extremely stubborn, remember this is a fixed sign. Scorpio moons ain’t playing, once they’ve settled on something, they’re not budging. Also, can we just say, masters at investigating people. These are the friends you want stalking your ex’s social media. They will find out everything. They’re also really good psychologists as well, almost all the Scorpio moons I’ve met are actually Psychology majors LMAO. They’re very good at finding the root causes of people’s issues. I also feel like Scorpio moons undergo a lot of transformations in their lives. I’ve known a Scorpio moon for about 10 years now and he’s undergone so many different transformations in his life. Mentally and physically. They’re also extremely sarcastic and have a tendency to be pessimistic. They’re also mad scary when angry. I’ve seen them angry before, as an Aries moon, even I get a little scared.... love y’all tho. 

🌵Sagittarius Moon: The funniest people ever. Sagittarius moons always have me laughing my ass off. Their sense of humor is very diverse. They tend to stick with sarcasm and like to say outlandish things to make people laugh. Also, I feel like Sagittarius moons tend to go for science/math oriented careers or at least have an interest in those subjects. I know four Sag moons, and they’re all in STEM it’s actually crazy. They’re also extremely blunt and honest, especially when it comes to people they don’t like LMAO. They make it very clear when they don’t like someone, it’s so funny. They’re also just so much fun, like they’re genuinely so much fun to hang out with. I feel like I’ve never not had a good time hanging out with a Sagittarius moon. I feel like Sag moons however tend to struggle with asserting themselves a lot of times, until they get really fed up.  They’re very much go with the flow kinda people, and this can be to their detriment especially with the ones they love, they don’t wanna rock the boat. However, they also make really good mediators and are good at settling arguments. They also really like to travel, and likely have traveled a lot. All the Sagittarius moons I know have traveled to at least 4+ countries. They love traveling the world, and I’ve also noticed move or want to move far away from their childhood home. They wanna explore everything the world has to offer. My cousin who’s a Sag moon left her parents’ house to move a few states away and my other friend who’s a Sag moon wants to move to the other side of the country. These individuals also tend to like foreign culture as well. I’ve noticed Sagittarius moons tend to like foreign music or foreign tv shows. I feel like they also tend to ignore their emotions when they get sad and just don’t like to deal with their emotions. They also don’t like to talk about how they feel and will brush sad things off because it’s just too upsetting for them. However, once the emotions boil over, just like their anger, they will blow up LMAO. I’ve also noticed that they’re really good at teaching people things? Like my Sag moon friend explained this Chemistry equation to me I couldn’t understand and I got it after 10 minutes. Natural teachers. 

🌵 Capricorn Moon: Guys, it’s okay to open up. You don’t have to pretend to be so strong all the time, you’re not weak for showing your emotions. Anyway, Cap moons have high expectations for people, and will not tolerate any bs from people. I seriously commend them for that. I feel like Cap moons struggle with how their points are being expressed, they can say one thing, but it’s seen as something else. While Capricorn moons may struggle with expressing their emotions, I haven’t found them to be closed off or cold when meeting them. Every Capricorn moon I’ve met has warmed up to me very quickly and have been super nice. I feel like they’re very friendly and once they have a conversation with you they’re really warm and kind. Also, they’re not afraid of anything?? Except for showing their feelings maybe. But like, they’re so open to trying new things like scary rollercoasters and aren’t afraid to fight for themselves if they have to. Also, super fucking ambitious. I wish I could be ambitious. These people will really have like three jobs, be in school, and tend to household responsibilities. I don’t know how you guys do it. Now everyone says Capricorn moons are just analytical and systematic when confronted with conflict, and I personally haven’t found that to be true. If they feel wronged?? Nah. They’re not going to be systematic or logical or anything. They will go off. As for personal challenges, yes they’ll be more analytical. But I feel like everyone boils down Cap moons to emotionless and machine-like nerds, which I find to be very untrue. Capricorn moons are very soft once they’re vulnerable with you, and genuinely feel like they’re bothering people when they show their emotions and feel weak for showing them. Also I’ve noticed that their mom is a big motivator for their success. Their moms always push them to do their best in work and school. If poorly aspected, they could feel too pressured by their moms to do well. Also, they’re so underrated for being funny. They have a really dry sense of humor and it’s well developed. I also feel like they get overlooked for putting others before themselves, when it comes to the people they love they’ll do anything for them. Brb gonna go give my Cap moon friends a hug. 

🌵Aquarius Moon: You guys are just so unique. There’s something unique about each and every Aquarius moon, whether it’s a quirk or a hobby. These people are literally the best to talk to. It’s so easy to have a conversation with them, they really can talk about anything. I’ve also noticed that Aquarius moons tend to be interested in astrology and tarot and things of that kind. Every Aquarius moon I’ve met has been really interested in it, and even involved in it. I feel like they also have big dreams, and have big plans for themselves. Aquarius moons also love to get lost in their music and tend to use it as an escape. This can be a problem because they tend to avoid dealing with their feelings. They also go between reacting to things really heavily vs not reacting at all. It just seems like it goes back and forth. They speak up with things are unjust however only to their friends or online. They just don’t like to deal with face to face conflict in that regard. They also give really great advice. My best friend is an Aquarius moon and she always gives me the best advice. She knows me better than I know myself tbh. I feel like Aquarius moons relish in being unique LMAO. I’m 99% sure they had an “I’m not like other girls” phase. I feel like this placement always tends to space out and daydream a lot. They also aren’t the types to just lash out at people, their anger is more subtle (unless they have other placements of course). I feel like Aquarius moons also have a lot of friends but they tend to have a small group of friends that they tend to be super super close with. They’re also...really charming? I don’t know what it is, but like every single one I’ve met has been really charming and likable. They also have a really goofy sense of humor and love to do wild shit to make people laugh. I feel like some downsides of Aquarius moons are that they tend to be too analytical and rationalize things too much, and they inadvertently invalidate other people’s feelings. Aquarius moons are also super open minded to all opinions. I have a friend who I tend to disagree with on certain issues but they’ve always been open to hearing my opinion. They also love to travel too. I’ve noticed that as well. 

🌵Pisces Moon: To think, I was almost one of you guys. No seriously I almost was, if I were born four hours earlier I would’ve been a Pisces moon LMAO. Anyhoo, Pisces moons are just so sweet. I don’t know how else to start, they literally are the sweetest people and give off this mystical type of aura. They’re very otherworldly. Also, these people daydream 24/7. They put Aquarius moons to shame in daydreaming. This girl I like is a Pisces moon and I always catch her daydreaming LMAO. They’re also extremely sensitive too and feel things so deeply. They try to hide how they feel from people, but you can see it in their eyes. I can always tell when my Pisces moon friend is upset just by the look in her eyes. They also tend to be introverted and it takes a while for them to warm up to someone. My co-worker is a Pisces moon and it took 2 weeks for her to finally start talking to me LMAO. They also have really vivid and wild dreams too. I feel like my Pisces moon friend is always telling me about some wild dream they had like that they were in a castle or in an ocean. They also can be really moody, they can be fine one second and then get really sad out of nowhere. Their emotions are like the ocean. I feel like another downside of Pisces Moons are that they can be very manipulative however this is really with any underdeveloped water moon/sun placement. I also feel like they tend to be escapists a lot. They don’t like to deal with reality a lot, and they see the best in everything and everyone even if it’s to their demise. They’re also super friendly and are nice to everyone they meet, even if they’re reserved they’re still very sweet. They’re also extremely creative too, I feel like every Pisces moon I’ve ever met has some sort of creative hobby. My co-worker who’s a Pisces moon is working on becoming a photographer and her stuff is AMAZING. I think that’s because they see the best in the world and the beauty in everything; and they know how to show that in their work so others can see the world like they do. They’re also super empathetic and are really good listeners. You can talk to them about anything and feel understood. :) 

So this wraps up my moon sign series! I hope you guys liked it! Again, don’t take offense these are just my opinions on each moon sign! Hope you guys enjoyed, and if you don’t see your moon sign here it’s likely in part one. 

[charlie-rulerofhell]

An interview with Måneskin: “It's not about out bodies, it's about our music”

Heyo, I'm back with another translation. This time the article is from the German Rolling Stone website who met with Måneskin after their TikTok performance at the Schwuz, Berlin, and posted the interview yesterday. Again there were some interesting questions asked (and the pictures they added to the article are quite nice, though severely lacking some Ethan content, but check it out!).

Again, I hope that no one has already gone through the effort and translated it or is currently working on a translation. Also this is an official invitation, if you stumble across any articles or video interviews in German that you would like to have translated just message me and I'll get to it! (or if you just wanna chat about Måneskin, my inbox is always open :))

Have a great day everyone!

Full article under the cut.

-----------------------------

An interview with Måneskin: “It's not about out bodies, it's about our music”

Jose-Luis Amsler

July 6, 2021

Måneskin are just what this generation has been missing. Passionate, corny, and full-on honest. In an interview with Rolling Stones, the ESC winners explain to us why they would never work in a normal job and why the hype for their appearance is sometimes going too far.

Damiano, Victoria, Thomas and Ethan are entering the nearly deserted dance hall, before they wait on stage in a red-blue spotlight. They are wearing glittering fish net tops, black tape across their nipples, leather pants, heels and make up. The camera men who are filming in portrait format (9:16) suitable for TikTok are whirling up the haze of the fog machine.

Måneskin are [in] Berlin to give a TikTok concert. A TikTok livestream of this scale has not been done often – tension is in the air. The four Italians don't know at this point that due to the stream the few people present are not allowed to clap or cheer. In complete silence and with slight uncertainty the four are crossing Neukölln's club Schwuz. A few puzzled glances are exchanged. Finally,  Måneskin are striking the first chord.

Then the rich sound of Ethan's bass drum is tearing through the silence. It's almost as if someone has flicked a switch somewhere. There it is, the rock star presence that is hovering over everything they do, with an ounce of arrogance (in the best sense of the word). Singer Damiano is dancing lasciviously on his heels, and during an especially ecstatic solo guitarist Thomas is throwing himself down on the floor in a way it can only be done by a passionate 20-year-old musician who had never had to worry about the looming doom of an artificial knee joint [for 'passionate' the interview is using the term 'besessen' which means 'possessed', and although I think it's rather supposed to describe the way Thomas is 'possessed / obsessed' with the music, thus passionate for the music, you never know if they didn't mean to say that the way he dances looks 'possessed' … I mean, they might be on to something here ;)]. Around half an hour and about 120 decibel later, Damiano says their goodbyes with an almost shy-sounding “Okay, bye.” After the performance, we do our interview in the Schwuz.

Rolling Stone: It was a little bit weird, right, when you went on stage today?

Damiano: Yeah, that was really strange (laughs). They only told us after the performance that the audience was instructed to stay silent for the stream.

Vic: But at least they weren't silent because we were shit (all laughing). We are slowly getting used to playing without a live audience. I mean we are doing this now for more than a year.

RS: What do you think about these new kinds of concerts such as the TikTok livestream today?

Damiano: Well, at the moment it is the only option to perform anyway, so it's alright. But of course you cannot compare this to a proper concert.

Thomas: But it's pretty cool that so many people can experience our concert live.

Vic: Also we're gonna start touring again soon. Right now we are arranging some festival and gigs. In December we will be touring Italy and afterwards we are planning to go on tour through Europe. But we don't have anything fixed yet, there is just a lot going on at the moment.

“A lot going on”. Quite an understatement considering the recent journey Måneskin has made through the past weeks after their ESC win. Their singles “Beggin'” and “I Wanna Be Your Slave” went through the roof (also thanks to Social Media) and are currently dominating the international charts – lately they were also number one in Germany. There is barely a radio station that isn't playing the band on heavy rotation [would love to know what stations they listen to, have never heard Måneskin played in German radio tbh :( ], and everyone opening Instagram or TikTok these days is flooded by Måneskin content. Every second a new fanpage with the name of 'maneskin_obsession' or 'damianos_slut' is springing up like a (virtual) mushroom. It sounds like a cliche, but Damiano, Vic, Thomas and Ethan became international stars over night.

“Of course it's nice to get compliments. But sometimes they definitely cross a line.” – Damiano David

RS: How has your life as a band changed since your win at the ESC in Rotterdam?

Vic: I think we don't even notice a lot of what's happening. Right after the ESC we went to a studio in the countryside where we made music the whole day long. So at first we didn't realise that so many things were happening all around us – and that we had so many new fans. We're just now beginning to learn what's going on. We were at Sony yesterday, there were so many fans waiting for us. That was crazy.

RS: A large part of the attention you are getting now is about your outer appearance, your style, your attractiveness. Is that getting a little too much sometimes?

Damiano: Of course it's nice to get compliments (laughs). But sometimes they definitely cross a line. Especially when we just talk about our music or about a social or political topic that we care about. In those moments it's just completely inappropriate to reduce us to our appearance. Sure – when I'm posting a half-naked picture of myself on Instagram I know that I will get these kind of comments. And then it's totally fine, I mean in the end I'm posting the picture to show myself. But sometimes it's not the right place for it.

RS: And also you should be allowed to wear what you want without being sexualised, right?

Vic: Yes, absolutely. We are wearing these outfits because we feel good in them, not to put the focus on our bodies. And in general it shouldn't always only be about how you dress. We are musicians – so first and foremost it should be about our music. But I think it will still be a long way until we will reach that point.

“That the boys are wearing make up does not tell you what gender they are attracted to. Those things should never be equated with each other.” – Victoria De Angelis

RS: But still you are sending a message with your style against stereotypical gender roles. I guess it's also not only coincidence that we are in the Schwuz today, which is normally a party location and safe space for the LGBTQ community.

Vic: Yes, that is all part of the positive message that we try to send. We want to give our audience the feeling that they are free. Free to wear whatever they want to wear, be how they want to be and love whom they want to love. It's unbelievable that there is still so much intolerance in our times. That has always been really important to us so we try to talk about these topics. We also believe that the narrow-mindedness of society is an educational problem. When you grow up with people all around you telling you how you should be, you will never feel completely free. The more people are talking about it, the sooner things will change.

RS: Some artists who are advocating for these topics are accused of 'queerbaiting', that they are only pretending to be a certain way to gain more support from the queer community. Have you also been faced with those allegations?

Vic: Yes, a few times. But of course we never pretended to be anything. Some people accuse of us queerbaiting because we look and act the way we do. But that's flawed thinking. We don't believe that clothes are connected to a person's sexuality. That the boys are wearing make up does not tell you what gender they are attracted to. Those two things should never be equated with each other.

RS: This courage for free self expression that you are conveying is mainly lived by our (young) generation through Instagram and the like. What is your relationship to social media?

Damiano: For me it was almost scary at first. The more we grew, the more people were trying to twist all of my words. But over time you start to understand that with more fame you also get more criticism. The happier you look the more hate you will get. It's not only like that for celebrities. If you are brave enough to show the things that make you happy there will always be people that support you, but they are also those that envy you. Of course, this should never lead anyone to not express themselves openly but that's easier said than done.

Vic: We are also trying not to spend too much time on social media. In the end we just try to be honest with our fans and to avoid negativity.

[caption under the picture of Damiano: 'Is already being compared to icons such as David Bowie']

It's actually surprising how little power a win at the ESC holds in most cases. Almost 200 million people are watching this shining spectacle every year – and still, a few months afterwards it is hard to remember who those people were that got covered in confetti during the award ceremony. It's the well-known curse of a casting show that rests on the winning bands. When just next year a new sensation will come to marvel at, how much impact does a win have then? There are exceptions of course, like Lena who is until this day, 10 years after her win in Oslo, a part of the more famous music scene of German pop music. With their charisma, their unusual sound at least for our modern standards, and their contemporary message Måneskin could become such an exception, too.

It's likely also helpful that the band already had a standing in the Italian music scene prior to their ESC participation. Their first album 'Il ballo della vita' already achieved platinum in 2018, three years prior to Sanremo and the ESC. And then there is also the long way that led the four schoolmates to this point that helped them gain the necessary persistence. Because contrary to what some people might want to believe Måneskin are not a phenomenon that has just been deliberately bred to be this way by the entertainment industry for Eurovision.

“I have worked [in a 'normal' job] for a whole month in my entire life – it didn't really end well.” – Damiano David

RS: You were all raised in Rome, the capital of the catholic church. What was it like to start as a young progressive band in such a conservative environment?

Damiano: In the beginning, when we started as buskers, no one gave a damn about us anyways (all laughing). But of course … Once we got a bit bigger there were a few people who had a problem with us. For example when we went to Sanremo, there were quite many people who thought that the way we looked and acted we shouldn't be allowed to represent Italy. They didn't even want to listen to our music first.

Vic: Especially when it comes to appearance and sexuality, Italy is a little more backward than other countries. The church probably also has an influence there. They are often quite conservative of course, so many people grew up with such a [conservative] mindset.

RS: You once said that the song 'In Nome Del Padre' is an answer to exactly those people. What does the song mean to you?

Damiano: Back in the beginning [of our career] we had to deal with a lot of problems. They didn't want to let us play in clubs because we would take too much space as a band or because they didn't like our (fashion) style or because they didn't want to pay us. Italy isn't a good place for bands. Our musical style was also criticised a lot. Many people were telling us: Don't do that [rock music], you won't get popular with that in Italy, you will never achieve anything with it. Of course those comments were hurtful but they were also a good reason for us to continue with what we did. And we turned our sadness into anger. With that song we wanted to tell those people from back then: Fuck off and look at us, we did it!

RS: Did you ever consider working in a nine-to-five job and live a 'normal' life?

Damiano: Nah, not really. For one month in my life I worked [in a 'normal' job] – it didn't end well (all laughing).

Vic: We all made music since we were kids. It's a huge part of us, that we couldn't just ignore. And the most important thing is that you do something that makes you happy. At least that's what we believe. So we started from a young age to put all our time and energy into music.

Thomas: Yeah, exactly. Ever since we were in school together we always made music. That has always been our main focus and it is until today. We play and play and play because it is the only thing that …  

Ethan: … we live for.

Damiano: Music has also something very therapeutic for us. Even when we are in a bad mood or fight with each other – yeah, that happens, too – then all of that is gone the moment we enter the stage. Maybe that's the beautiful thing about music – that it allows you to forget everything else. You're just standing on stage, having fun with your friends.

From most bands you wouldn't buy such a corny love letter to music. Mostly it just sounds like an empty phrase, a well-practiced quotable line. But when there is something that defines Måneskin and that becomes more and more evident during our conversation it's their uncompromising honesty. The four of them are definitely not lacking a sense of humour but they take their music very seriously. Which should not be taken for granted in a generation that has mainly produced sarcastic cloud rappers and has made cynical twitter comedy a national sport. And maybe Måneskin are exactly what this generation was lacking all along.

Still, the four musicians, all in the age of 20 to 22, are also prone to the constant need for self-expression, that has become an intrinsic part of today's life. This does not only reflect in the outfits of the band (always 'on fleek') and their Instagram profiles, but also in their lyrics. Their latest record 'Teatra D'Ira – Vol. 1' shows a clear theme: The album is an ode to individuality, accentuated by fast and hard sounds.

Sometimes this message fitting for a Disney movie [really? guess I have been watching the wrong Disney movies my whole life …] is wrapped in a contrasting loud and forceful packaging, but never so much that it becomes inauthentic or self-caricaturing [note: I'm honestly not entirely sure what they wanted to say with this sentence since it uses a lot of rhetorical devices that could be interpreted in different ways, but I'd say this sounds the most plausible]. And in the end, the thing that makes Måneskin so interesting is their unification of the spirit of this time – between TikTok hedonism and an omnipresent political statement – with the music of past generations.

“When you are twenty, you start to think about what the future will hold.” – Damiano David

RS: Your musical style is often described as classical 70s rock, but in fact there are many different influences in your music. Sometimes you groove almost into funk, sometimes it's more rapping than singing. How did this mixture come to be?

Thomas: It's just that we all have our own individual influences and then we meet somewhere in the middle. And we always try to stay open for experiments.

Ethan: Yes, we are very experimental in our song writing process.

Vic: We also don't want to limit ourselves to what is regarded as typical rock music. If rap fits better at some point then we just add that in. It just happens naturally without us thinking too much about it.

RS: So why was it still rock music in the end?

Vic: Because it's the style that we feel most represented by. But actually we just play the music that we enjoy playing. That's really important to us so that we can show something real on stage. We don't want to pretend to be something that we aren't or mock those people that really enjoy our music. You should always be proud of what you're doing and never fake anything just to sell more records.

RS: Is there something like an Italian rock music scene?

Vic: There are quite a lot of bands – but the most of them are much older than us or they are more going in the direction Indie rock. There isn't really a young rock scene, which we think is a pity. But ever since we got more famous people are telling us that they started listening to rock music because of us or that they bought their first guitar and such. That's incredibly nice!

RS: So you're saying that you also want to show this style of music to a younger generation. And you capture this contrast quite well in the song 'Vent'anni', which is a typical rock ballad but lyrically portrays the thoughts of today's youth. Where did the motivation come from to write that song?

Damiano: With the song I wanted to show that I'm just a normal guy, a really typical 20-year-old. I experience the same things that other people in my age are experiencing, I'm just doing another job than them. Also I wanted to describe this age as a whole because I think it's a really special age. At 20 you start to think about what the future will hold. I think it's one of the most important stages of your life. Since we (the four of us) are all in the same age, I then started to mix our experiences together. In the end the song shows what it means to us to be 20. There is a lot of good things – you are quite carefree and are looking at life enthusiastically. But on the other hand you're too young to do certain things and too old to do others. Some people are treating you like a full-grown adult, but …

Vic: … not entirely.

Damiano: Exactly. It can get pretty frustrating at times. We wanted to show our audience: Hey, we're also just 20 years old, and we're going through the same things as you. We understand you.

RS: Except that you are the ones who are becoming a world-wide phenomenon right now. How do you want to maintain this honesty?

Damiano: I think that we could just reach this point because we have always been authentic – for better or for worse. Also we are just trying to have fun with what we're doing together. That's something special that we don't want to lose. In the end we're just four friends who started to live their dream. It's actually pretty simple. Of course – we go on stage, we get a lot of attention, we give interviews – but when we come back home we're just four friends.

[holylulusworld]

More than their roommate (3 of Arc 1)

Summary: Slowly the lines between lust and feelings blur and someone tries to destroy your blooming relationship.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader x Sam Wilson

Characters: Director Nick Fury, Maria Hill, OFC

Warnings: language, bickering, smut, fingering, light oral, possible FATWS spoilers, hurt & comfort, cuddling & snuggling, polyamory, bad therapy etiquette, mentions of non-con filming, extorsion, mentions of former abusive relationship, implied smut

A/N: Part 3/3 of (Arc 1) - The Therapist

Divider by @firefly-graphics

<< Part 2

Since you moved in with the boys, they work together like a well-oiled machine. 

Fury wanted to know your secret, but this is something you’ll never share.

Unbeknownst to you, Bucky and Sam, Fury already found out why your roommates work better together.

He saw the footage from their office and more than one from your shared loft.

Someone sneaked into your home, installed cameras, and filmed you anytime you had sex with one of your roommates – or both.

“Sam,” you gasp, looking at Sam between your legs. He has you on the edge of an orgasm but won’t let you fall. “We got no time. Fury wanted an emergency meeting this morning, with all of us.

“Yeah?” he looks up at you, smirking as you admire his face, covered in your slick. “I’m just having a snack before we go, babe,” Sam grins, diving back in to wrap his lips around your oversensitive clit. 

“Ah, fuck – Sam!” you cry, grinding against his face. “Please, I need a shower, fix some papers, and make a few calls,” you say, breathlessly. “Let me cum, please.”

“Alright, lemme just-“ Sam slides three fingers inside of your cunt, presses his fingertips against the roof of your vagina. “I’m gonna make you cum now and we have a shower together. I wonder why Fury called you in the middle of the night…”

“So sexy,” Sam kisses your sweet spot, leaves open-mouthed kisses along your neck. “What are we doing here, Y/N? I’m not complaining but is this something serious or just fun?”

“Honestly,” you turn around to face Sam, running your loofah over his chest, “I don’t know. All I can tell you is that I never did something like this before with two men. When I’m with you and James, I feel-“

“Complete,” he whispers, stopping your hands from cleaning his body. “Y/N, we need to talk about this. I don’t think Bucky can lose someone else. He already lost so much.”

“I’m not here to break your hearts,” you touch Sam’s cheek, just looking up at him for a moment. “I like you both, a lot. Right now, I can’t call it love yet, but if I would ever fall in love with someone again, it would be you and him…”

“Doc carries her own package, huh?” Bucky wonders, flipping through the pages of your file. “Did we find out who the douche breaking her heart was?”

“Not so loud,” Sam tuts. “After what she told me this morning, I asked a friend to dig a bit deeper. Sharon said Y/N left her former job, a well-paid position as someone broke her heart.”

“What do with the information now? I don’t think she wants us to stick our noses into her-“ Bucky bites his tongue when you walk into the living room.

“Ready?” you ask, brows furrowed in a silent question. “What? Do I have something on my face? Damn, is there a visible bite mark at my neck?”

“No, you just look so sexy in your professional outfit, doll,” Bucky grins, holding out his hand. “Do we have to go to the office today?”

“Fury said it’s important, James,” you tut. “Let’s be professional for once, okay. I know you hate meetings, but this is unavoidable.”

“Why is this woman here?” Bucky eyes the foreign woman warily, not missing you squirm in your seat. “Something wrong, doc?”

Sam can see a hint of fear flash across your face before you clear your throat. 

“This is Sarah Murphy, our expert for, let’s say internal affairs,” Fury huffs, hating he must have this specific conversation with you. “Let’s get this over with, Ms. Murphy.”

“Director Fury asked me to be here today to make sure whatever we discuss, stay within these walls. I can assure you, the material we will show to you, will not leave this room either and no one but Director Fury saw the footage.”

“Footage?” you furrow your brows, confusion is written all over your face and you clutch your hands to your chest in attempt to calm your racing heart. “Did you spy on one of us?” 

“None of us spied on you, Doctor Y/L/N. I always appreciate your hard work. Sadly, someone sent us this,” Fury points at the laptop Sarah Murphy placed on the desk. “I want you to watch the footage, all of it. Ms. Murphy and I will leave the room meanwhile.”

“I don’t understand,” you panic, grasping for Sam’s hand to squeeze it tightly. “Why do you want us to watch videos?”

“I must tell you before we leave the room, that someone sent us the footage, along with a few demands,” Fury stands, gives Sam a curt nod before he turns to leave the room. “In other words, someone tries to extort us. I will tell you about the details later.”

When it’s only you and your roommates you look at the laptop, afraid to watch whatever someone filmed. “I don’t want to watch this.”

“We must,” Sam says, breaking the tension, just pressing play. “Whoever filmed us or one of us will pay for it.”

“Maybe it’s not that bad,” Bucky tries, metal hand balled into a fist. “Maybe that bastard only filmed me doing push-ups or-“

The first thing you recognize is your hoarse voice, and the slap of skin against skin. Your eyes widen in horror when you watch yourself getting fucked by Sam while you watch Bucky jerk off and later on, covering your body with his cum.

“No,” your body starts to tremble, and you can barely feel the hand touching yours when the scene changes to another video. 

It’s in the kitchen this time, you bend over the kitchen island, Bucky’s hands hold you down by your shoulders while he fucks you roughly, calling you his whore.

“No-no-no-“ Bucky stops the video, clicks on the next one. This time you get fucked in their office, not days ago. “Stop this, Bucky-“ you cry, hiding your face in the palm of your hands. “Someone invaded our privacy just like that.”

“Baby doll,” slamming his metal fist into the laptop, destroying it on his way Bucky feels his chest tightening. He knows how it feels to have no privacy. “I will rip whoever did this to you apart.”

“So someone filmed us at our home and sent it to Fury. Then the same person filmed us at our office and did the same again,” Sam tries to not freak out. He hates you choke out sobs, desperate to forget about what you just saw. “But why?”

“We should ask Fury,” you whisper, not fighting Bucky when he brings you in his arms to cradle you gently. “Sam, you should talk. I-I can’t right now and Bucky, he’s too mad.”

“I’ll go get Fury,” Sam swallows thickly. He slowly gets up to kiss your hair softy, hand gently smoothing over your arm. “We will handle this, baby. No one is going to see this ever again.”

“We-We looked hot, at least,” you try to laugh, but choke on your tears instead. “I hate someone did this to us. It’s not only about me, but you and Bucky too, Sam. How dare them?”

“I’m going to kill them,” Bucky growls. “Rip them apart, limp by worthless limp…”

“Do we know who did this?” Sam asks while you sit between Bucky and Sam, not meeting Fury’s eyes. “Director?”

“I need to get this off my chest, doctor,” Fury sighs. “Whatever you do in your free time, is up to you.”

You nod, still not looking up. “Do we have a name or a reason why?”

“Sergeant Barnes, this has nothing to do with you, if you would just calm down,” Bucky starts to pace the room, jaw ticking, hands balled into fists. “I know you were on the footage too, but according to my information it’s all about the shield and the title.”

“Wait—what?” you gape at Fury, feeling a cold shiver run down your spine. “No way! You can’t be serious! Someone wants the title and Sam’s shield?”

“I’m afraid so,” Fury says, watching Sam run his hand over your hair. “We will do anything to help you, though.”

“What if Sam doesn’t give it to them? What did they say will happen?” Bucky asks, watching Fury lean back in his chair. “That bad?”

“Whoever is after the shield threatens to leak the footage. Doctor Y/L/N would lose her job. She would be compromised,” Fury explains. “I can’t say what would happen to your uh-“

“I don’t have a career and give a shit on my reputation, but we can’t let anything happen to Y/N and her job,” Bucky grunts. “What can we do to find them?”

“John Walker,” you whisper, glancing at Fury. “It can only be him – right?”

“Who is John Walker? I never heard of him before,” Sam watches you focus your attention toward Fury, not answering his question. “Y/N? What’s wrong?”

“If it’s John, we got to be careful. I know he wanted to become the next Captain, not accepting the gentleman’s agreement between Sam and Captain Rogers. I know some people at the government would like to see that man wield the shield, but we won’t allow him to do so,” you stand, straighten your skirt before you look Fury straight in the eyes. “I quit.”

“Doll, just wait a minute. Let’s talk about this,” while Bucky tries to stop you from throwing everything you worked so hard for away while Sam silently watches the change in your posture.

“What is else do we want to discuss, James? That bastard won’t stop, okay. He wants the shield but won’t get it.”

“I give it to him if this saves your career and reputation,” Sam offers. “Steve hand the shield to me, believing I’ll do the right thing. He would’ve done the same to save you.”

“No,” you slam your fist onto the table, making Sam jump. “If you don’t want to wield the shield, fine by me but we will not let anyone take it away from you.”

“What about your job?” you don’t give in. Looking at Sam you give him a weak smile. “Y/N?”

“Fury, tell that bastard he can go and leak anything he wants to. I’m an adult and had sex with two men I love. This is not a crime. If he wants to ruin my career, so be it. He can go and shove it up to his ass.”

“I did not expect anything else from you, doctor,” Fury chuckles, admiring you give a shit on John Walker’s threat.

“Just give me an hour to get back home. I don’t want to answer any questions today. Let hell come over me – tomorrow…” your head held up high you walk toward the door, grasping for the door handle before you look over your shoulder. “Are you coming, guys?”

“We can’t let that bastard get away with this,” Bucky points at the TV. An hour after Fury told Walker he can fuck his deal, named man leaked all the videos he took of you and your roommates.

“Hill did her best to take all the videos down. Luckily, she found the server with the original files. She also marked the files and tries to locate any copy,” Sam explains. 

He watches you sit in your favorite armchair, snuggled in a warm blanket you just look at the wall. “She just lost her career only as we couldn’t keep our hands to ourselves and tried to get rid of her, Sam.”

“I know.”

“I will find and kill John Walker. He will pay for hurting Y/N,” Bucky crosses his arms over his chest, watching you brush a single tear off your cheek.

“So, we're partners?”

“Co-workers. Not necessarily a team, but we will team up to avenge, Y/N.”

“Sounds like a good plan,” Bucky holds out his hand. 

“Sounds like a good plan,” shaking Bucky’s hand Sam smirks. “Now let’s find John Walker and show him what happens if he hurts someone we care about.”

“Finally-“ you walk toward your roommates, smiling softly. “Took you long enough to admit you like each other.” you walk toward your bedroom, smiling to yourself. “Did you find all the hidden cameras?” 

“Yes. Why?” cocking his head Sam looks at you. “Y/N?”

“You know, I don’t have to be up early in the morning any longer,” you smirk. “You can keep me awake all night long…”

“Doll,” Bucky purrs, eyes drifting toward your ass. “Ready if you are…”

“Hey, I told you she’s mine,” following you hot on your heels Sam calls Bucky’s name. “Hands off!”

“How did Y/N know it was Walker?” Maria looks at the leaked footage, clenching her jaw. “Director?”

“Do you remember when I told you she quit her last job? I told you that someone made her leave, it was Walker,” Fury explains. 

“Doctor Y/L/N doesn’t seem like someone just giving up on her career for a man,” Maria wonders. “There is more – right?”

“They were a pair for years, even wanted to marry but then, he changed. After the blip happened he became a different man. And since Steve Rogers and the Avengers undid the blip, Walker wanted to become the next Captain and turned into a possessive man on a mission.”

“Sounds like the perfect partner,” nodding thoughtfully Maria looks at her boss. “What happened?”

“Y/N tried to make Walker see he was in the wrong, that the end doesn’t always justify the means. She ended up in hospital with two broken ribs and a concussion.”

“She walked out on him I assume.”

“John Walker doesn’t like rejection in any way. This is the opportunity he was waiting for. He ruined Y/N’s career and aims for his next target—the shield in Sam Wilson’s hands…”

End of Arc 1...

Arc 2 - TBA

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[kyotakumrau]

2021.04.06 a talk event at Meguro Rock-May-Kan film screening at Namba Hatch with Kyo and Shinya  - PART 1   Report by とあ on twitter (topics are not reported in order things happened, I mostly followed the order they posted, 1st and 2nd session bits are mixed together)   my comments go in (*…) 

Shinya entered the stage in black hoodie, both hands in his pockets. He also had hands in the pockets when he left the stage. Came with a drink. 

Kyo came on stage with his arms crossed. He drank some water soon after sitting down, I thought he started to play with the flyer but he made an airplane from it.   Q “To Die. Please tell us the secret of your youth.”  Kyo and Shinya face each other and laugh.  Kyo: Is it okay to imagine what Die is doing? I said that I quit McDonalds, right? Die also said he hasn’t had McD in years.  Fujieda: He also said he doesn’t eat ramen.  Kyo: and he doesn’t eat spicy food.  Kyo: Now he’s just eating, like tofu? Tofu or soybeans.  Shinya: he researched and knows a lot. Even when going on a diet in the past he found a good plan.  During the rapid question time they also answered another one for Die “I bought Die’s model guitar. Please tell me how can I get better” when reading Kyo answered “tooth guitar”.  I think it was when reading about this guitar? Kyo started laughing then Fujieda started laughing and for a bit they both faced each other laughing. 

  “Coffee”  Kyo: I drink it black. Even at home. Using beans from Starbucks. I drink 1~3 cups a day.  Fujieda: Kaldi’s coffee is also great. They have many types.  Kyo: If you say that they have many different types you have to try them to compare.  You don’t say this even though you didn’t drink them, right?  Fujieda: I tried quite a lot. There’s different one for each season. Now they sell sakura blend etc.  Kyo: Ah, then it’s fine. If you drank it.  Shinya: some years back I bought Nespresso coffee maker but I’ve only used it for 2 weeks. It’s still in my house.  Kyo (suddenly looking at Shinya): gimme! (くれ!)  Shinya: o, okay.  Kyo (turning to Fujieda looking happy): he said okay!  Kyo: Then I will give you a coupon to get that right side curl fixed. it caught my eye that looking from here that just the right side of your hair has this weird curl.  Shinya: No, it’s not weird...  Kyo: But I will give you a voucher to get that fixed.   

 “What’s your routine before the show?”  Both of them don’t have one  Kyo: Does anyone have?  Fujieda: Toshiya is doing muscle training.  Kyo: Ah... and doesn’t Die move around a lot?  Shinya: He does. Until the start he’s very restless.  Kyo: Right? Even when we all gather one is always going back and forth.    “Your favourite takoyaki”  Shinya: I don’t care. Even though I’m from Osaka I don’t really eat takoyaki. It is said that every household in Kansai will have a takoyaki machine but we didn’t. In the 20 years I lived there I only had like 5 octopus balls.  Kyo: That time when you were wearing that long earring? You only had 5? So what type?  Shinya: the one that is crispy outside and soft inside   

“A difficult song”  Shinya: Rinkaku. Because I need to keep kicking. It’s faster than Zan. The drum is nice but it totally kills my leg.  Kyo: DIFFERENT SENSE as I said before. I imagined a dialogue as it’s a heavy song when I made it, but when I didn’t get any response, I ended up having to sing all of it by myself so it’s really tiring. I tried control my breathing when swimming but I can’t.  Kyo: So in the end it’s like swimming the whole thing without breathing.  I was told by Kaoru to try pointing the mic [at fans], but all I get is ‘eh right now?’ (gestures pointing with his right arm) I get ‘eh here?’ The people in front of me try to respond, but the people on the sides (again points with his right arm) go ’eh? Eh? Here? (agitated) so I gave up. I don’t mind if it’s the wrong pitch, just put your feelings into it. 

 Kyo: I started playing Monster Hunter. On Switch.  Takabayashi: I’m also playing.  Kyo: Then let’s play together! (big grin)  Takabayashi: Okay.  Shinya: I bought it on the day DS got released, but I couldn’t understand the objective of the game after playing for a day so I didn’t feel like playing anymore.  Kyo: So you just started playing from zero by yourself? No one helped you saying what to do?  Shinya: Yup.  Kyo: If you told me I’d have helped you.  Shinya: So in the end what happens? What is the goal?  Kyo: there’s none.  Shinya: What?  Kyo: You just continue getting your level up.  Shinya: And for how long do you continue to play?  Kyo: There are people who continue playing until the next game comes out.  Shinya: Woah... 

 "What weapons you're using in Monster Hunter" Kyo: I'm using a bow. It might seem it's because it's huge, but I can attack from a distance and avoid being found. Make a shot from a distance, if you're found out you can run away. Direct confrontation is scary.

 “During the Osaka period what studio did you use?”  Kyo: Was it in Umeda?  Shinya: Yup.  Fujieda: What was the name?  Kyo: I don’t remember. Do you?  Shinya: Yes. It was M4　www.m4-studio.com  Kyo: That’s some memory.  Shinya: I booked it. I confirmed the date with 4 of you and called them. We made Karma and Aoi Tsuki there. 

 “About Oboro teaser”  Kyo: Could you see me? I only watched it on my phone so couldn’t tell what was what. 

 “Rock-May-KanGIG"  Shinya: there were many problems... no one around me [to help]. When my ear monitor fell out I had to fix it myself. And I made this rookie mistake of not pressing record on camera...  Kyo: We don’t remember things like that.  Kyo: Do you remember what you ate a month ago? You don’t right? It’s the same. You might remember that the main dish was shrimp but you won’t remember sides.  “About SOGAI in May”  Kyo: something that will happen in a month...Do you think about what you will be eating in a month?  Fujieda: But I think many fans are looking forward to it.  Kyo: I guess, but that’s because they’re going to enjoy the food. From the side of people who will be cooking you only start preparing about a week before, no?  Fujieda: So you will start feeling motivated a week before...  Kyo: Nope.  Fujieda: Shinya, do you think this analogy works?  Shinya: After hearing it I think so.   

“What are some food combinations that you find just wrong?” (*from other twitter reports the question had example like pineapple in sweet sour pork etc)  Shinya: as long as there’s no foods I dislike anything is okay.  Kyo: I don’t have any food like that, but but I hate when people mix different sports brands. Wearing adidas with Nike shoes and so on. When I see someone like that I want to tell them ‘could you not?’ 

 “What expensive item have you bought recently?” 

 Shinya: I’ve already answered this earlier. A camera. The camera itself was 40k and lens was 20k yen.  Kyo: What do you use the camera for?  Shinya: For recording and so on.  Kyo: What kind of [recording]?  Shinya: For youtube or Haiiro.  Kyo: Isn’t iPhone good enough for that?  Kyo: When I’m taking a photo I just pass my iPhone and ask someone.  Fujieda: I was given a camera for taking photos, but after about 15 minutes I was told to use iPhone in the end.  Kyo: Do you know what was different?  Fujieda: I didn’t.  Kyo: (*going back to the main question) an expensive item... Nike and Garcons sneakers I guess. They were about 20k yen.　(*Pegasus?)  I’m drinking coffee while looking at the sneakers. 

“Do you prefer indoor or outdoor festivals?”  Shinya: If it’s daytime then indoor. It would be too bright outdoor in daytime.  Kyo: I hate insects so indoor. Weren’t there so many insects when you had plants? Fujieda: Speaking of insects, don't they get into your mouth when you ride a bike? Kyo: You ride a bike with an open mouth? Silly kid. Fujieda: Instead of having open mouth, it's like there's suddenly an insect in your mouth, when it crashes into you. Kyo: Riding a bike with an open mouth is silly. Why, are you singing? Fujieda: Sometimes I do, actually. Kyo: If you're singing while riding that's okay, if you just have your mouth open while riding that's silly.  

 "About SOGAI in May"  Shinya: We're working on the setlist, it will be great.  Kyo: That's why I don't want you to ask me about a concert in a month. Don't ask me questions about concerts next year. I won't answer.   

 "What's a good place in Hirakata?"  Shinya: Hira pa (Hirakata Park) and TSUTAYA, right? TSUTAYA is where I was born.  Fujiefa: Eh? Really? I didn't know.  Kyo: if in Tokyo you say Hirapa no one will understand   Kyo: Do you know? (looks at Shinya) when you just come in and there's a place with dogs Shinya: Like real dogs?  Kyo: Yeah. There are about 20 dogs, but all are so tired. Lifeless as if they were abused. Of course they weren't abused, but it's a place where you can spend some time with dogs but they are so tired, so lifeless and tired that it's almost a shame they are kept there.  (*I think he's talking about Doubutsu Hug Hug Town) 

  "What hotel facilities do you find exciting?"  Shinya: ...for example?  Fujieda: ehm...  Kyo: This is not something exciting, but. You know in a shower? When you don't know if you're supposed to move the handle up or down? Maybe this way? And then when you move it the water suddenly comes out from above! (Shinya nods)  Fujieda: That's criminal! Was it hot?  Kyo: First water came out, but when I turned the handle the water suddenly poured from above, I got totally soaked. How do you use that?  Shinya: there are some places where water comes out in 3 places instead of 2.  Fujieda: Criminal!  Fujieda: Anything exciting?  Shinya: Like?  Fujieda: Like a big tv.  Shinya: I don't watch TV.  Dujieda: That's true, you don't. How about a very good pillow?  Shinya: I don't care.  Kyo: And the shower [head]! Just from one hole the water goes in a strange direction, there's nothing stuck there, just water, but just this one spot. What's that about?  (Shinya continued to nod while smiling)  

 "To Shinya. What time did you wake up today?"  Shinya: Around 1. At night.  Fujieda: What time did you go to bed?  Shinya: I think about 10pm.  Fujieda: You almost didn't sleep at all.  Kyo: Aren't you an old man now!  (*🤣🤣🤣🤣) 

 "What toothpaste and toothbrush are you using?"  Kyo: Any toothpaste is okay, but I prefer small toothbruses. Because I have very complex teeth. Like a maze. You get lost there. That's why I choose a tothbrush with a small head, has good reach.  Shinya: I'm using a toothpaste from overseas with an M, any brush is okay for me. But I use one with water coming out of it.  Fujieda: Is it electric?  Shinya: Yes.  Fujieda: Is it painful?  Shinya: Well sometimes it gets a bit bloody.  Kyo: You're really into it (laughing) to keep using it even if you're bleeding. 

  Kyo is watching The world unknown to Matsuko every week (depends on the episode but it's interesting), when finishing the 2nd sessiin event Shinya said 'go straight home and from 8:57 watch The world unknown to Matsuko'. It already started and it seems [dir] appeared there.  

 "Where do you want to tour besides Tokyo-Nagoya-Osaka?"  Shinya: Somewhere we still haven't been to... where was it?  Takabayashi: ehm... Shimane, Wakayama, Saga.  Shinya: There.  Kyo: Kyoto. Kyoto is good. Kyoto is the best. Even now I'd love to [have an event] in Kyoto instead. Kyoto is the best or, I want to become Kyoto.  

 "What animals do you like in the zoo?"  Kyo: ehm... sheep I guess. I want to look at them or hold them.  Shinya: Animals you don't see in everyday life like giraffes, elephants or lions. 

"What do you like in an amusement park?"  Kyo: I guess the haunted house? Yeah, haunted house. It's okay when people try to scare me. It's not scary. I'm laughing all the time.  Fujieda: So you can enjoy FujiQ no problem?  Kyo: I haven't been, but I think it's fine? I would be fine bringing a sheep with me I guess? Going in while stroking the fluffy sheep.  Shinya: Ferris Wheel.  Fujieda: How about the thrilling ones? Shinya: I don't like them. Fujieda: So Ferris Wheels for Shinya, understood.

 "About shooting Oboro PV"   Shinya: It was tough. Kyo: You say that? Say that to ME?? Shinya: Well, you were shooting naked. The green stuff got all over my clothes and cleaning that took ages. Kyo: Ah, I guess. But you could've gotten it dry cleaned, no? Shinya: It was a fabric that cannot be dry cleaned. I couldn't remove it in the end so I gave it to Fujieda. Kyo: You did? You got it? Fujieda: Yeah, I passed it to the person who designed the costume. Kyo: I see... Shinya: And the floor was very cold. Kyo: You say that?!?!?! Fujieda: Were you okay, Kyo? Kyo: Yeah... I'm a pro in the end. Fujieda: Oh (claps) Kyo: Are you mocking me? Looking down on me? Fujieda: No! Not at all! I clapped because I think that's great! Kyo: No, you're defnitely looking down on me. It's the same as the 'whats your salary like?' 'this much' 'oh'.

 tbc

[asterroidd]

drabbles: them reacting to a surprise kiss

↬  includes: kaminari denki, bakugo katsuki, shouto todoroki

tysm for the request anon! Hope you enjoy!  ♡

—denki kaminari would be smug albeit lowkey flustered

  “Shoot back me up,” Denki mumbled, eyes glued to the screen while his fingers fervently tapping on his keyboard. At the current moment, he’s enjoying the semestral break and of course what better way to seize the time by spending most of it playing games? Sign Denki up because he would sacrifice his sleeping schedule just to play with his squad.

  “Shit,” he cursed into the mic. “Behind the building!”

  You, however, is not impressed with the current situation.

  Sitting on his bed, you glared daggers at Denki’s back. Mentally cursing him for not giving you the attention you need. You dropped by his room to hang out with him; perhaps a movie or some kinky time, who knows? Heck, Denki himself was the one who invited you to chill with him. And what does he do? Yep, ignore your cute ass and sit in front of his computer like the jerk he is.

  “Denki. . .” you lowly muttered, approaching him in a slow pace. “Gimme attention.”

  You gently combed your fingers in his hair, making sure to massage his scalp in the process. Denki leaned in your touch, “Mhhmm! Just finishing this last game, babe.”

  A line appeared between your brows, mouth curving down in a small frown. “You said that an hour ag—”

  “kAcCHAN—Stop shooting me you ass!”

  It took all of your sanity to not yank his hair right then and there. You wanted to throw a tantrum at him; to give him a cold shoulder for ignoring you. But then you thought of something better.

  Still absorbed in his game, you leaned down and placed a soft kiss on Denki’s lips. He was startled at first, momentarily tearing his gaze off the screen to look at you with wide eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, but the look on your face was enough to answer his question.

  You want his attention.

  “Aww does my wittle baby mish me?”

  “That’s fucking gross” you could hear Bakugo comment through his headset.

  Nonetheless, the blond ignored his remark. Denki flashed you a smile, raising a hand to cup your cheek. Smooth as he is, he captured your lips in one sweet kiss.

  “Gonna leave the round to you, my dudes. My baby needs attention.”

—bakugo katsuki.exe has stopped working

  Ah, yes. Bakugo Katsuki, the man, the myth, the legend.

  Contrary to popular belief, this personification of a hedgehog is an actual softie. It may not look like it, but Katsuki is adores you 100%. Though, it is understandable that most people wouldn’t believe you if you told them this man has the ability to blush.

  Yes, blush. If one is lucky enough, they might witness such a holy sight if they caught him off guard. And that someone is you.

  “No, no! You cream the butter and sugar first before the eggs!” he spat, hands darting out to stop you from cracking open an egg. Earlier that day, you suggested that Katsuki and you bake some cookies. It took an hour’s worth of begging, but you’ve managed to convince him to participate in your plan.

  You’re quite a baker—if you do say so yourself—but Katsuki has zero confidence in your cooking skills. And so here you are, standing like an idiot while he continuously ridicules your knowledge in the kitchen.

  “I’ll let you cream me, if you know what I mean.” You winked at him.

  Katsuki stops with what he was doing to shoot you a look, “Don’t even get me started (____).”

  You let out a giggle, pinching his cheeks despite his complaints. He mumbled curses under his breath after almost dropping the bowl. At this point, Katsuki’s doing most of the baking while you did most of the pestering. In your defense, how could you properly work on it if he keeps berating you every move you make?

  “Aight explosion boy, what can I do to help you?”

  He let out a huff, “Go get the vanilla extract.”

  You hummed, turning around to search for the item he needs. At the same time, Katsuki opted to go and prepare the mixer for the ease of combining the ingredients later on. Just one problem, this one’s busted.

  He clicked his tongue in annoyance.

  “What’s up?” you asked, placing the bottle of vanilla extract on the counter before leaning on it.

  “Damn thing is not working” he gave the machine one firm smack as if it would help fix it. Katsuki’s nostrils flared, the corners of his lips pointing downwards. You would be lying if you said he doesn’t look cute when he’s angry. He looks like a little angry pomeranian.

  Against your better judgment, you leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. Now, this isn’t the first time both of you had shared a kiss. In fact, you and him had multiple times already as controlled by hormones. But that doesn’t stop a blush dusting his cheeks and ears.

  You pulled away, a smirk on your face as Katsuki froze in his spot. He stared off into the distance, too flabbergasted to respond. It took one full minute before he regained composure.

  “You—huh. What?” he stammered. “What was that for?”

  “Am I not allowed to kiss you?”

  “I-. . .” he sucked in a breath, finding it hard to form words. “Just— just help me with this will you?”

  Note to self: always catch Katsuki off guard.

—shouto todoroki is confusion

  The sky is as black as tar accompanied by nimbus clouds that slowly covered the whole city. It started with a soft pitter-patter of the rain against the window sill, until it gradually got loud that you have to increase the volume of the movie you and Shouto was watching.

    With a thin blanket over your shoulders, both of you intently stared at the screen. A sappy yet heartfelt romantic film on play just the way you like it. The bowl of popcorn, now long rid of its content, sat in between your legs.

   The movie had now come to that point wherein the two main leads confessed their love for one another. It was about damn time. The scriptwriters of the show truly did drag the plot way too long that at some point it became rather boring.

   Shouto shifted in his seat. You opened your mouth to ask him what was wrong. That is until his arm wrapped around your form, resting his hand just above your hip. A soft smile made its way to your face. Whether it was his intention or not, Shouto had always pulled on your heartstrings and made your heart beat fast with his actions.

   “Sho. . .” you called out to him. He hummed, turning his head towards your direction.

  Without prior warning, you leaned to press your lips against his. It was short yet sweet, just an unspoken message to show how much you love him. When you pulled away, he had the cutest reaction ever.

   He slowly blinked. Mouth falling open in shock. Shouto looked at you with a bewildered expression. Throughout the course of your relationship with him, kisses are barely shared. Hugs? Yes. Holding hands? You betcha. But the fact that he and you just started dating a few weeks ago, both of you were still adjusting to this change of pace.

   “Why?”

   You chuckled.

   “Just wanna.”

  He gave you a soft smile, brushing strands of your hair that stuck before placing a chaste kiss on your forehead.

[gayaristocrat]

I Got Everything I wanted...

Episode 1: Filmed Before a Live Studio Audience...

Pairing: Vision x Male Reader

Taglist: N/A

‼️Authors Note‼️: I'm finally at a point where I can write this story. I know that It is long overdue, so I hope this can make up for it. This story is going to be breaking the 4th wall a lot since they tend to do that in the actual show. Also, please let me know in my Inbox/Askbox if you would like to be tagged every time I upload a story to this series. While reading this, you may realize that it seems rushed, and that's because it was. I wanted to put this out as soon as I possibly could. Also since you guys voted that I just divide it up into parts for you to read. I will be uploading part 2 whenever I am able to.

Summary: (Male Name) and Vision struggle to conceal their powers during dinner with Vision's boss and his wife

Time Period: 1956 (So everything in this chapter is going to be colorless and in black and white)

Word count: 4k+

Word Key:

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Have you ever dreamed of living the life you always wanted? Have you ever dreamed of something so bad to the point where you would do anything to get it. Have you ever dreamed of something so bad to the point where all of your care for others went out the window? Have you ever dreamed of wanting something so bad to the point where you would stop anyone who gets in your way.

"(Male Name), I love you so much. Please don't do this, cant you see that everyone is hurting, that everyone is in so much pain?"

"I'm sorry Vision, but I can't. I can't loose you...not again. I never meant for things to be this way, but now I can't go back. Not without you"

---REWIND MANY EPISODES BACK---

For a second, everything is black. The TV clicks on and a burst of grey static illuminates the screen. Everything is black and white, not a single drop of color is in the area. A happily little tune starts playing as a colorless 1956 Buick Special drives up a tiny hill and back down past a sign which says 'Speed Limit 35'. The camera angle changes to the back of the car, showing a banner above the license plate, 'Just Married'. Next, the camera cuts to us, (Male Name) and Vision, newlywed husbands.

It finally happened, we finally got married! Both of us turn take a quick look and smile at each other with nothing but love and glee, it seemed like nothing could go wrong in this moment.

🎵Oh~

A newlywed couple just moved into town,

A regular husband and husband,🎵

Vision turns his head back to the road and continues driving until we turn down a happy little neighborhood. Each house on the street has a pattern of different color greys with black roofs, their yards decorated with equally bland colorless flowers and grass. Children playing outside, and adults chatting with one another while they tend to their gardens, or while walking their dogs. Everyone is just so cheery and happy, even the mailman waves at us as we pass him. Everything is exactly the way it's supposed to be, perfect.

🎵Who left the big city,

To find a quiet life,

(Male Name)Vision!🎵

Vision drives into the driveway of our new home. We quickly hop out of the car and approach the house, but before we walk in I take notice of the 'For Sale' sign still in the yard. I quickly flick my hand and use my magic to change the sign to 'Sold'. After that I dust my hands off with a proud smile on my face as Vision scoops me in his arms bridal style, opens the front door, and carries me inside. I flick my wrist again and the front door closes and locks as we both move to the Livingroom of our already decorated 2 story home.

🎵He's a magical boy,

In a small town locale

And a hubby who's part machine,

How will this duo fit in and pull through?🎵

Once Vision puts me back on my feet, we start swaying with the jingle playing in the background while title cards pop up of written words that I don't care to read right now since I'm too busy enjoying this happy moment with my new husband. Vision then gives me a little twirl before wrapping his arms around my waist as we both dip into a loving heartfelt kiss.

🎵Oh, by sharing a love,

Like you've never seen

(Male Name)Vision!🎵

---SCENE CHANGE---

The scene suddenly changes as the lights flick on and cameras start rolling. You start the scene off by walking into the kitchen and start making your way to one of the grey drawers next to the oven and you grab one of your favorite aprons. Humming a little tune, you wrap the white cloth around your waist and start observing the kitchen to see what needs to be picked up or cleaned. Deciding to work on putting up the dishes, you raise your hand and the newly cleaned plates start levitating off of the counters and float off to the display racks, you then raise your other hand and a dark colored dish cloth floats out of the cabinet and it begins drying a glass cup. You then turn your back to the cup to observe if it had been cleaned good enough, suddenly you jump as a loud crash echoes through out the kitchen. Turn to see what the problem is, you only to find Vision looking up from today's news paper and glances at the shattered plate at the ground while a laughing crown erupts out of nowhere.

"My husband and his flying saucers" He says in his thick English accent (or is it British🤔), with a joking tone.

"My husband and his indestructible head" I reply back in the same tone as another laugh erupts from the crowd.

He then folds his newspaper and walked over to your direction, giving you a kiss on the cheek when he arrived, causing you to chuckle while twirling your finger, making the plate form back to it's original round shape before it floats off to it's designated spot.

"Vision, honey, what do you say to silver dollar pancakes, crispy hash browns, bacon, eggs, freshly squeezed orang juice and black coffee?" You say while walking over to the refrigerator, opening it and bending down, getting ready to grab out everything needed to make the meal for him.

"I'd say 'Oh, I don't eat food' " He says smiling at me, while the crown laughs again.

You look inside the fridge and hum to yourself in surprise while putting all the pieces together in your head before saying "Well, that explains the empty refrigerator then"

"(Male Name), my darling. Is there something special about today?"

"Well, I know the apron is a bit much dear, but I'm doing my best to blend in and have the 'Perfect House Husband' look." You say walking to meet him, assuming he's talking about the apron.

"No no, you don't have to try, you already are the perfect house husband." He says as he lightly grabs your chin with his pointer finger and thumb and lightly giving you a 'boop' on the nose. "But I was referring to the calendar. Someone's drawn a heart right above today's date." You then looked at him as you cluelessly try to figure out what he's talking about, so he puts his hands on your shoulders and turns you around to face the calendar behind you and he rests his chin on your head as you both look at the heart.

Trying to act like you know what day it is, you say "Well...d..dont tell me you've forgotten Vis?"

"Oh silly (y/n), I'm incapable of forgetfulness. I remember everything. That's not an exaggeration. In fact, I'm even incapable of exaggeration" He rambles boastfully.

"Hmm, well then if that's true, then maybe you can tell me what's so important about today's date"

He pauses for a second and thinks before he blows a slow puff of air out of his mouth, then deciding on saying "Uhhh...what was the question again? Oh well, no matter, perhaps you've forgotten yourself"

"Me? Heavens, no, haha. I've been so looking forward to it."

You both have actually been looking forward to day. Today you are celebrating...The first time you...uhhh...have ever celebrated this occasion before. It's a special day indeed, perhaps an evening?...of great significance?...to you both, naturally.. obviously...exactly! Well done for the both of you.

You two ramble on for a few more minutes trying to drill the other into spilling on what was so special about today, but you two couldn't since you were both obviously unknowing about it, then Vision remembered something.

"Well, sorry darling, that's me off to work, then." Vison says fixing his grey suit jacket and grabbing his suitcase walking to the front door. You quickly grab his hat hanging on the coat rack and place it on his head, fixing it to make it look straight.

"Also don't forget-"

"(Male Name), my dear how many times do I have to tell you I don't forg- oh you mean my face right?"

You nod letting him know that was what you were getting at. The audience laughs again as he quickly shakes his head and his face and hands transform from cold metal to warm flesh. Vision then puts his palm to his face and pretends to blow you a kiss, while you play along and pretend to catch it and put it over your heart.

Once he leaves out the door, you lock it a return to the kitchen, and make your way to the calendar, chewing on your polished nails (if you don't want nail polish then skip that part) as you try to remember the symbolism of the heart. Not even a second later your thoughts get interrupted as a loud knock at the door startles you back to 'reality'.

Going to go see who it is, you push the door that separates the living room and the kitchen, closer to the knocking. You quickly open the door and see a woman with a dark plaid dress and a styled black hairdo holding a grey plant in a white pot.

"Oh hello, dear. I'm Agnes, your neighbor to the right. My right, not yours" She says in a sing-song tone as she uninvitedly makes her way into the house. The eruption of cackles echo as you look at her in confusion as to why she decided to step inside, but decided to keep a calm attitude and not say anything about it.

"Forgive me for not stopping by sooner to welcome you to the block. My mother-in-law was in town...so I wasn't!" she says laughing with the audience once more as her dress sways with her movements. She rushes the potted plant into your arms and you smile and take it as she makes her way into the living room to continue her snooping. "So what's your name? Where are you from? And most importantly how's your bridge game, hon?" She says not loosing a single breath, and of course not giving you time to answer in between questions.

"Umm...Well I'm (Male Name)" You say reaching your hand out to shake hers

"(Male Name)? Charmed!" She joyfully says and returns the gesture.

"Golly, you sure do settle fast! Yes sir you did indeed! Did you use a moving company?"

"Why I sure did. Those boxes don't move themselves." The audience laughs as your inside joke, because let's be honest, the boxes did move themselves since you used your magic to decorate everything. (Damn (Male Name), you really are a powerful sum' bitch)

'"So (Male Name), what's a single boy like you doing rattling around this big house?" She says siting on the couch.

You laugh to yourself and dreamily look at the finger your ring should be on that Vision gave you to claim you as his, (He liked it so he put a ring on it.....sorry...anyways) but paused as it wasn't there. That's not right, because you could have sworn that it was there when you created this rea-

"Oh no, I'm not single I-"

"Well I don't see a ring

"Well I can promise you, I am indeed married...To a man. A human one and tall too! A a matter of fact, he'll be home later tonight for a special occasion just the two of us." You say putting emphasis on 'occasion' with a wink.

"Oh is it somebody's birthday? A holiday?" Agnes questions bouncing up and down in the couch with her legs crossed like a 'proper lady'.

"Well, no and no"

"An anniversary then?"

"Ye-uhh...yes, Its our anniversary!" You shout, finally able to remember what that heart meant.

Agnes waves you over to come sit on the couch with her and you obey, sitting down she grabs and rests both sets of you two's clasped hands on your apron.

"Sooo...tell me, how many years" She asks letting out a little squeal.

"Well..uhhh..it...it uh feels like we've always been together"

"You lucky man-" She shakes her head remembering about her own husband "-the only way Ralph would remember our anniversary is if there was a beer names June 2nd." She chuckles as the audience laughs from nowhere again. "So what do you have planned?"

"How do you mean?" You questioned her. I mean you never really did have time to come up with anything since you just realized, or assumed, what today was.

"For your special night, (Male Name)! A young boy like yourself doesn't have to do much, but it's still fun to set the scene. Say-" she says standing up to slowly make her way to the door "-I was just reading a crackerjack magazine article called 'How To Treat Your Husband To Keep Your Husband', and let me tell you somethin'...what Ralph could really use is, 'How to Goose Your Wife So You Don't Loose Your Your Wife'. She kidd's as her and the audience laugh. You look at her and shake your head trying to hold back your own laughter. "Hang on, I'll go grab it and we can start planning. Oh, this is gonna be a gas!" She shouts running to the door so she can leave and run to her house.

-----Time Skip---

Both Agnes and you are back on the couch, looking through her magazines trying to find ideas for the anniversary dinner you planned for you and Vision to share, when out of nowhere, the phone started ringing interrupting you two. You got up and rushed over to it hoping you don't miss the unknown caller, you pick it up and put it to your ear and then start talking.

"Vision residence how may I help you"

"(Male Name), darling I-"

"Vision, my dearest husband. How are you sweetheart?" You say cutting him off from his obviously panicked and frantic voice. I mean come on, you are just excited to hear your husband's voice after a hours of him being gone.

"Listen about tonight-"

You cut him off again, already knowing that he was going to talk about the anniversary. "Don't worry, dear, I have everything under complete control"

"Oh, well, that is a relief. I must confess, I'm really rather nervous" He says over the phone.

"Nervous? Whatever for?" You question.

"Well, you know, darling, I still get a little tongue-tied."

The audience coo's and aww's at how a dust of grey creeps up on your (dark grey/grey) cheeks. "Vis, after all this time..." you giggle out.

"There's a lot riding on this (Male Name)! If tonight doesn't go just so, I think this could be the end.

'Wait what' you think to yourself

"Well, it's just one night. There's no need to get dramatic." You say in a worried tone as you grasp your now queasy stomach.

Vision's tone begins to get more serious as the conversation continues in his attempt to express how important this is to you. "Look, I think the best course of action is to impress the wife."

"Well, first, I think you mean husband. And secondly I also think the best course of action is to impress the other husband too." You look over and give Agnes a thumbs up and a wink in her direction, and she does the same while sipping her martini.

"Glad to know we're both on the same page, love. Until tonight, then, my sweet little husband" Vision says making two smooching noises through the phone to you.

"Until tonight...my robotic husband" You return, whispering the last part so Agnes doesn't hear you. She couldn't hear you anyways, being too busy sipping her drink and flipping through the pages. You finally gently put the phone on the hook and return to the couch.

---Time Skip, Later Tonight---

Before Vision made it home, you set the big dining table that was next to the living room and tossed colorless silk scarfs on all of the laps in the room to set the mood and made your way to the bedroom to get dressed to surprise him for when he gets home. When you heard the door open and heard his voice, you tip toed your way out of the bedroom and into the living room, dressed a long fluffy white lingerie robe with white fur that wrapped around the arms of it which was trailing behind you, exposing both of your (dark grey/grey) legs. You then went all the way to Vision's black silhouette and gently wrapped your hands around his eyes, causing him to jump form the sudden contact.

The audience laughed again as they know your mistake. 'Where the hell is that laughing coming from, and whey is it happening right now of all times?' you thought to yourself in confusion.

"Guess who~" you seductively whispered to your husbands.

Suddenly the lights turn on and you hear Vision's voice that was filled with a mix of shock, embarrassment, and irritation at your recklessness. "(MALE NAME) WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"

You gasp and look in his direction. "Vision? What are you-" then it hit's you, if Vision is right there, then who's-

"Oh! Oh my stars, I'm so sorry!" You say to the man you mistook for your husband. You quickly uncover his eyes and stumble away from him as he stares at you in shock. Then you look down at your attire and try to cover your exposed leg as much as possible.

"What is the meaning of this!" The bald headed mad says appalled, as his wife stands behind him looking around cluelessly.

Vision interrupts with his stammering voice just as confused as everyone else. "Well..uh yeah (Male Name) what is the meaning of-" Suddenly it hits him and he tries to comes up with an excuse off the top of his head. "-Oh, the meaning of it! You want to know the meaning of it...and...the meaning of it is...that this is the tradition of (Random Foreign Country/Continent) greeting of hospitality. Uhh...guess who???" Vision says as he runs behind you and overs your eyes.

"Oh is that my host being me?" You say playing along.

"It certainly is, darling. Lovely to make your acquaintance" Vision says vigorously shaking your hand. "See i forgot to tell you my husband is from (Random Foreign Country/Continent)" he giggles along with the audience.

"Oh, how exotic!" The man's wife cheerfully laughs.

"I never knew such a place as that existed" He says in a dark yet serious tone.

"Oh hush Author, have you no culture. Oh and the robe, I absolutely love it!" His wife replies trying to lighten up the awkward mood.

"Thank you so much ma'am-" you march through the living room and snatch off the silk scarves from all the lamps and tightly grab Vision's hand. "-Can I just see you in the kitchen for a moment, sweetheart?"

You both then slam your way through the kitchen door and it swings closed behind you, leaving Vision's boss and his wife behind as they sit down on the couch and patiently (more like impatiently on Arthur's end) wait for your return. You then turn around and look at each other before throwing questions.

"Who are those people?!"

"What are you wearing!?"

"Why are they here?"

"What are you wearing!?" Vision questions again boldly

"Well, it's out anniversary, that's why I'm wearing this!"

"Our anniversary of what?" Vison says, desperate to know what the hell you were talking about. Eventually you had enough of these shenanigan's and throw the scarves down at his feet stomping your way to the kitchen chairs. "Well if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you!" you exaggerate, crossing your arms and pouting like a child

"(Male Name), darling! That...that man through there is my boss Mr. Hart! And his dear lady wife Mrs. Hart! The heart on the calendar was an abbreviation!" Vision whispers, roughly tapping his hand on the black heart drawn on the dull colored calendar.

You grab your head and shake it trying to put everything together. "Vision sweetie, you move at the speed of sound and I can make a pen float through the air. Who. Needs. To. Abbreviate!?"

Vision grabs both of your shoulders in an attempt to collect his thoughts and calm you down. "Darling, listen, it's all romantic to do the candles, the music, that stunning outfit. I don't wanna be unappreciative, but right now-"

"Your boss and his wife are expecting a home-cooked meal. Correct?" Vision nods his head while muttering 'exactly' while look around the kitchen in order to find somethin to serve to the unwarned visitation of guests. After looking around for a but, your eyes land on the mini round table that held a plate and food on it. "Well, does your boss and his wife have a hunger for a single chocolate-covered strawberry, split three ways?" Vision hisses while clenching his fists and shaking his head no.

"Oh wait, I might have better ideas" Without hesitation you raise both of your sands and snap your fingers, magically changing your outfit to the one you were wearing earlier that day, a pair of dark high waisted cuffed slacks and a white blouse to match (you can change if you don't like), and the audience claps in astonishment at your transformation whilst you tie your apron in a bow behind your back. Vision gives you a quick peck on the cheek and runs back to the living room to keep others company while you figure out what to serve everyone.

---Time Skip---

After minutes of looking, you couldn't find anything in the kitchen, and the refrigerator was empty, so you decided to call your good neighbor Agnes to see if she could pick up some things from the store and bring it over. A couple of minutes pass and you finally hear a familiar knock on the back door in the kitchen. As soon as you open it Agnes rushes through with her hands full of groceries stacked to her chin as she stumbles through the kitchen. Before you could even mutter out a 'thank you' she stops you dead in your tracks and puts all the food down on the table. "Before you can say anything don't think about it. I mean, what kind of housewife would I be if I didn't have a gourmet meal for four just lying about the place. Not that Ralph wants to eat anything other than baked beans, which explains a lot about his personal appeal, mind you." The audience laughs one more at her silly humor as you quickly render to her aid to grab some of the groceries before they could fall. Unfortunately, it seems like the Universe was not on your side since the large cooking pot crashed and hit the ground, echoing throughout the kitchen, while Agnes yelled out an overexaggerated 'oh my'.

You had to get rid of Agnes and as quickly as you can, so you decided to just push her out the back door despite her protests to help you cook. "Thank you so much Agnes but I can take it from here-"

"Are you sure dear, many hands make light work. And many mouths make good gossip too!"

"Oh ahahaha, you are so naughty! But-"

"Oh, shall I preheat the oven then? hmm?"

"That won't be necessary, thank you for your time!"

Somehow she managed to escape your grasp on her waist and make her way back to the counter to crab some kitchen tools to start cooking for you. "Well, I know you're in a pinch so this menu can be done in a snap." She says snapping her fingers before continuing her rambling. you run back over to her and snatch the utensils from her, setting them on the counter, and grabbing her arms to march her back to the door. "Lobster Thermidor with mini-minced turnovers to start. Chicken à la King with twice-cooked new potatoes for your second course, and Steak Diane with mint jellies for your main. Oh wait! Do you set your own jellies, dear?"

"Yes Agnes I do, now can you please-"

"Ah there you go, good boy! Recipe cards are all on the counter there. Bon Appétit!"

"Haha, yes will do, thank you so much again Agnes! Bye now!" You say slamming the door, making the audience laugh at your exhausted expression. Now that she's gone, you run to the middle of the kitchen and throw your arms around, making all of the drawers and cabinets in the kitchen fly open, the dishes start floating out, and the food starts cooking. Out of no where the doors to the island bar swoop open to show Mrs. Hart, but before she could see Vision distracts her by breaking out and singing Yackety Yack by The Coasters, causing her to break out into a little dance, making her way back to the couch. Dear gods and goddess', how lucky are you to have a savior like him.

But little did you know, that the night was only just beginning.

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Finish the fic? Leave a like and comment if you enjoyed it. Also, give it a reblog too! Once again, I'm so sorry it was rushed! Please don't be afraid to let me know if there are any typos or errors. I will go back and edit this

[kaile-hultner]

Nihilism is so easy, which is why we need to kill it

(I initially published this here a couple weeks ago.)

So last night it dawned on me that, after over two years of being relatively symptom-free, my depression snuck back up on me and has taken over. It’s still pretty mild in comparison to other times I’ve been stuck in the hole, but after 24 months (and more) of mostly being good to go, I can tell that it’s here for a hot minute again.

How do I know? Well, it might be the fact that I spent more time sleeping during my recent vacation from work than I did just about anything else, and how it’s suddenly really hard for me to stay awake during work hours. I don’t really have an appetite, and in fact nausea hits me frequently. I don’t really have any emotional reactions to things outside of tears, even when tears aren’t super appropriate to the situation (like watching someone play Outer Wilds for the first time). And I’ve been consuming a lot of apocalyptic media, to which the only response, emotional or otherwise, I can really muster is “dude same.”

For a long time I was huge into absurdist philosophy, because it felt to my depressed brain like just the right balance between straight up denying that things are bad (and thus we should fix them, or at least try to do so) and full-blown nihilism. This gives absurdism a lot of credit; mostly it’s just a loose set of spicy existentialist ideas and shit that sounds good on a sticker, like “The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.”

In the last couple years, while outside of my depressive state, I went back to Camus’ work and found a lot of almost full-on abusive shit in it. Not toward anyone specifically, but shit like “nobody and nothing will care if you’re gone, so live out of spite of them all” rubs me the wrong way in retrospect. The philosophy Camus puts out opens the door for living in a very self-destructive fashion; that in fact the good life is living without care for yourself or anyone/anything else. The way Camus describes and derides suicide especially is grim as fuck, and certainly I would never recommend The Myth of Sisyphus to anyone currently struggling with ideation. That “perfect balance” between denial and nihilism is really not that perfect at all, and in fact skews much more heavily towards the latter.

Neon Genesis Evangelion has been a big albatross around my neck in terms of the media products I’ve consumed in my life that I believe have influenced my depression hardcore. It sits in a similar conversational space to Camus’ work, in that it confronts nihilism and at once rejects and facilitates it. A lot of folks remark that Evangelion is pretty unique – or at least uncommon – in its accurate portrayal of depression, especially for mid-90s anime properties. The thing I notice always seems to be missing in these discussions is that along with that accurate portrayal comes a spot-on – to me, at least – depiction of what depression does to resist being treated. This is a disease that uses a person’s rational faculties to suggest that nobody else could possibly understand their pain, and therefore there’s no use in getting better or moving forward. Shinji Ikari is as self-centered as Hideaki Anno is as I am when it comes to confronting the truth: there are paths out of this hole, but nobody else can take that step out but us, and part of our illness is that refusal to do just that. Depression lies, it provides a cold comfort to the sufferer, that there is no existence other than the one where we are in pain and there is no way out, so pull the blanket up over our head and go back to sleep.

Watching Evangelion for the first time corresponded with the onset of one of the worst depressive spirals I’ve ever been in, and so, much like the time I got a stomach virus at the same time that I ate Arby’s curly fries, I kind of can’t associate Evangelion with anything else. No matter what else it might signify, no matter what other meaning there is to derive from it, for me Eva is the Bad Feeling Anime™. Which is why, naturally, I had to binge all four of the Evangelion theatrical releases upon the release of Evangelion 3.0+1.0 Thrice Upon A Time last month.

If Neon Genesis Evangelion and End of Evangelion are works produced by someone with untreated depression just fucking rawdogging existence, then the Eva movies are works produced by someone who has gone to therapy even just one fucking time. Whether that therapy is working or not is to be determined, but they have taken that step out of the hole and are able to believe that there is a possibility of living a depression-free life. The first 40 minutes or so of Evangelion 3.0+1.0 are perfect cinema to me. The world is destroyed but there is a way to bring it back. Restoration and existence is possible even when the surface of the planet might as well be the surface of the Moon. The only thing about this is, everyone has to be on board to help. Even though WILLE fired one of its special de-corefication devices into the ground to give the residents of Village 3 a chance at survival, the maintenance of this pocket ecosystem is actively their responsibility. There is no room or time for people who won’t actively contribute, won’t actively participate in making a better world from the ashes of the old.

There are a lot of essentialist claims and assumptions made by the film in this first act about how the body interacts with the social – the concept of disability itself just doesn’t seem to have made it into the ring of safety provided by Misato and the Wunder, which seems frankly wild to me, and women are almost singularly portrayed in traditionalist support roles while men are the doers and the fixers and the makers. I think it’s worth raising a skeptical eyebrow at this trad conservative “back to old ways” expression of the post-apocalypse wherever it comes up, just as it’s important to acknowledge where the movie pushes back on these themes, like when Toji (or possibly Kensuke) is telling Shinji that, despite all the hard work everyone is doing like farming and building, the village is far from self-sufficient and will likely always rely on provisions from the Wunder.

As idyllic as the setting is, it’s not the ideal. As Shinji emerges from his catatonia, Kensuke takes him around the village perimeter. It’s quiet, rural Japan as far as the eye can see, but everywhere there are contingencies; rationing means Kensuke can only catch one fish a week, all the entry points where flowing water comes into the radius of the de-corefication devices have to be checked for blockages because the water supply will run out. There is a looming possibility that the de-corefication machines could break or shut down at some point, and nobody knows what will happen when that happens. On the perimeter, lumbering, pilot-less and headless Eva units shuffle around; it is unknown whether they’re horrors endlessly biding their time or simply ghosts looking to reconnect to the ember of humanity on the other side of the wall. Survival is always an open question, and mutual aid is the expectation. Still: the apocalypse happened, and we’re still here. The question Village 3 answers is “what now?” We move on, we adapt.

Evangelion is still a work that does its level best to defy easy interpretation, but the modern version of the franchise has largely abandoned the nihilism that was at its core in the 90s version. It’s not just that Shinji no longer denies the world until the last possible second – it’s that he frequently actively reaches out and is frustrated by other people’s denials. He wants to connect, he wants to be social, but he’s also burdened with the idea that he’s only good to others if he’s useful, and he’s only useful if he pilots the Eva unit. This last movie separates him and what he is worth to others (and himself) from his agency in being an Eva pilot, finally. In doing so, he’s able to reconcile with nearly everyone in his life who he has harmed or who has hurt him, and create a world in which there is no Evangelion. While this ending is much more wishful thinking than one more grounded in the reality of the franchise – one that, say, focuses on the existence and possible flourishing of Village 3 and other settlements like it while keeping one eye on the precarious balancing act they’re all playing – it feels better than the ending of End of Eva, and even than the last two episodes of the original series.

I’m glad the nihilism in Evangelion is gone, for the most part. I’m glad that I didn’t spend roughly eight hours watching the Evamovies only to be met yet again with a message of “everything is pointless, fuck off and die.” Because I’ve been absorbing that sentiment a lot lately, from a lot of different sources, and it really just fuckin sucks to hear over and over again.

It is a truth we can’t easily ignore that the confluence of pandemic, climate change, authoritarian surge and capitalist decay has made shit miserable recently. But the spike in lamentations over the intractability of this mix of shit – the inevitability of our destruction, to put it in simpler terms – really is pissing me off. No one person is going to fix the world, that much is absolutely true, but if everyone just goes limp and decides to “123 not it” the apocalypse then everyone crying about how the world is fucked on Twitter will simply be adding to the opening bars of a self-fulfilling prophesy.

We can’t get in a mech to save the world but then, neither realistically could Shinji Ikari. What we can do looks a lot more like what’s being done in Village 3: people helping each other with limited resources wherever they can.

Last week, Hurricane Ida slammed into the Gulf Coast and churned there for hours – decimating Bayou communities in Louisiana and disrupting the supply chain extensively – before powering down and moving inland. Last night the powerful remnants of that storm tore through the Northeast, causing intense flooding. Areas not typically affected by hurricanes suddenly found themselves in a similar boat – pun not intended – to folks for whom hurricanes are simply a fact of life. There’s a once-in-a-millennium drought and heatwave ripping through the West Coast and hey – who can forget back in February when Oklahoma and Texas experienced -20 degree temperatures for several days in a row? All of this against the backdrop of a deadly and terrifying pandemic and worsening political climate. It’s genuinely scary! But there are things we can do.

First, if you’re in a weather disaster-prone area, get to know your local mutual aid organizations. Some of these groups might be official non-profits; one such group in the Louisiana area, for example, is Common Ground Relief. Check their social media accounts for updates on what to do and who needs help. If you’re not sure if there’s one in your area, check out groups like Mutual Aid Disaster Relief for that same information. Even if you’re not in a place that expects to see the immediate effects of climate change, you should still consider linking up with organizing groups in your area. Tenant unions, homeless organizations, safe injection sites and needle exchanges, immigrant rights groups, environmental activist orgs, reproductive health groups – all could use some help right now, in whatever capacity you might be able to provide it.

In none of these scenarios are we going to be the heroes of the story, and we shouldn’t view this kind of work in that way. But neither should we give into the nihilistic impulse to insist upon doing nothing, insist that inaction is the best course of action, and get back under the blankets for our final sleep. Kill that impulse in your head, and fuck, if you have to, simply just fucking wish for that better world. Then get out of bed and help make it happen.

[immabethehero]

Marvin’s MegaBirthday Story

Guess who made a Megamind AU with Marvin as the title character?

Here’s a quick list of characters so you won’t get confused about who’s who:

Marvin, The Malevolent Magician - Megamind

Dr. Schneeplestein, the Doctor - Minion, but human

The Brighton Shepherd - Metro Man

Jackieboy Man, the Red Marauder - Sidekick to the Shepherd, original role of sorts

Chase Brody, news reporter - Roxanne Ritchi

Anthony/Anti - Hal Stewart, without the creepy simping

CW: Police brutality, hints of starvation, strangulation and mentions of electrocution

It was a glorious day in Brighton City. Even the weather seemed aware of it as the sun shone down brightly on the silver skyscrapers and the brand new museum built into the city square.

 To celebrate the city’s greatest superhero, the grand, new museum had been dedicated to the city’s greatest hero: The Brighton Shepherd. In between the two buildings was a giant curtain, hiding a 55 foot statue for the superhero.

Reporters came to the site as early as 6 am before the crowds could roll in. Among them was the up-and-coming journalist, Chase Brody, who ran the news vlog: “Just Your Average Report”. Wearing a brand new grey and white suit to honour the Shepherd’s signature colour, Chase did vocal warm-ups while his cameraman, Anthony, set up the equipment. Unlike Chase, who had dressed handsomely for the occasion, Anthony simply wore a graphic t-shirt and a fishing vest with blue jeans. Chase tried not to let that get to him. In all the fifteen months he’d known Anthony, Chase had never seen the man wear anything other than graphic tees and the fishing vest. Today obviously wasn’t much different to Anthony.

“We’re on!” Anthony said. Chase held up his microphone in time for the camera light to turn red; he exclaimed, “Happy Brighton Shepherd Day, Brighton City! It’s a beautiful day in our  beautiful downtown, where we’re here to honour a beautiful man: The Brighton Shepherd. His heart is as big as an ocean that’s inside a bigger ocean. For years, he’s been watching us with his super-vision, saving us with his super strength, and caring for us with his super heart. Now, it’s our turn to give something back! This is Chase Brody, reporting live from the dedication of the Brighton Shepherd Museum.”

Chase signaled to Anthony, who snorted as he turned the camera off.

“Damn, the stuff the producers make you read nowadays is incredibly cheesy. Have you considered writing your own stuff?”

“I have. That was one of my pieces,” Chase said with a grin. He reveled in Anthony’s look of horror.

“I mean… I can’t believe that in our modern day society, they let… actual art get onto the news,” Anthony stammered out.

“Nice save, Anthony.”

“Cool. Can we go get a coffee now?”

“Come on, it’s time to get into the Brighton Shepherd Day spirit!” Chase said, nudging his coworker.

Anthony rolled his eyes. “Please. If the Brighton Shepherd really was all that great, he’d be able to properly protect you from the Malevolent and his crazy Doctor. For someone who gets kidnapped and rescued all the time, you sure don’t have good security.”

Chase sighed. This debate again. “I mean, it’s good for my channel! I get to film bits and pieces of the Malevolent’s laboratory! Great publicity.”

“You take too many chances with that man, I swear. What happens if the Malevolent snaps and gets violent with you? The Shepherd and his sidekick won’t be there to protect you. You could die, Chase.”

“The Malevolent won’t hurt me. If he truly wanted to, he would have done so the first time he kidnapped me,” Chase snapped. “If anything, he just wants me for more publicity. I am a popular news source.”

“Yeah? Well, they don’t always strike at first sight, Lois Lane. The dude might be waiting for the perfect moment to torture you,” Anthony continued. “I mean, even if he doesn’t invent the machines, his sidekick is smart enough to make them! I swear that man has seen some stuff and wants to inflict it on the city.”

“The Malevolent and Doctor never want to torture. Their machines may look scary at first, but they’re useless. They only want to scare.”

Anthony began loading up the truck. “You’re too trusting.The Malevolent Magician has the power to mutilate and kill in ways your “friendship-is-magic” brain could never comprehend. The Doctor is no better. They’re both just waiting to strike. Once they do, the Shepherd’s presence won’t feel so reassuring, hm?”

Anthony had his back turned long enough for Chase to feel a cold presence beside him. The smell of gas flooded his senses. The reporter turned to hear a window roll down, though he didn’t see a car. Odd.

Instead a white plague doctor mask glared back at him. Chase groaned. Here he thought he might be able to avoid being kidnapped and used as leverage by the Malevolent Magician. Apparently not! The Malevolent’s sidekick, simply known as the Doctor, was here to claim his damsel in distress. 

The Doctor raised a spray bottle and squirted it directly in Chase’s face. Chase barely had time to scream as a sudden drowsiness overtook him and the whole world went dark.

*

Step one was complete. The annoying vlogger was in the back of the van. With that accomplished, it was time to pick up the villain. Dr. Henrik von Schneeplestein, known to the city as the sidekick to the Malevolent Magician, drove through the busy town square and out of the main city.

The prison where the Malevolent lay was outside of town in a secluded location, or rather, in the middle of the highway leading into the city. Despite its odd location, the security was incredible. 200 security officers patrolled the site, with at least three officers supervising a special room under intense lock and key. The Malevolent himself was usually locked in large chains that only unlocked at certain times, or if Mal had behaved himself for a certain amount of time.

Schneep arrived to see the prison in chaos. Sirens blared loud enough to burst a person’s eardrums while police ran into the grey building, yelling to each other and pulling out their guns.

Amid all the chaos stood a man with a thick white moustache, standing in front of the large electrical gates, The man held up his wrist enough for Schneep to spy a silver watch on his wrist and sighed in relief. The watch had worked.

“Well, hello, good looking. Need a ride?” Schneep said, opening the door.

“Always, my dear doctor!” the man said as he hopped in. He slammed the door closed as Schneep slammed his foot on the gas and flew off.

The man twisted the watch’s case and transformed back into Malevolent. The supervillain turned to Schneep with an evil grin. “Nice job sending me the watch, Doctor! Let’s ride!”

“As you wish, my Wickedness!” Schneep yelled.

The maltreatment Mal received from the prison was not lost on the doctor. His sharp cheekbones were grimy and more pronounced, and his wrists were almost skeletal. Dark shadows hung below his eyes, and it was not from eyeliner. Schneep held back a sad sigh. Thank goodness he left a snack for Mal when they returned to the evil lair. That part could be solved.

*

Back at Brighton City Square, the show was ready to begin. As city officials made their speeches, two superheroes waited behind a painted brick wall to make an entrance.

The illustrious Brighton Shepherd fixed his mask and combed his dark brown hair back. Beside him was his sidekick: the Red Marauder, clad in red, green, and blue leather. Marauder kept peeking behind the wall.

“Malevolent is safe behind bars as of right now, you can relax, Jackie,” Shepherd said, rubbing his protégé’s back.

“I can’t find Chase!” Marauder whispered back. “I’ve scanned the crowds three times and there’s no sign of his face.”

“Perhaps he’s stuck in traffic?” Shepherd said, smoothing out the creases in Marauder’s blue cape. His sidekick really needed to learn how to take care of himself.

“He would have sent me a text if that had happened,” Marauder said with a sigh.

“Went for a cup of coffee with Anthony?”

Marauder turned to the crowd. “Anthony is currently eating a donut by one of the food vendors. I think Malevolent and the Doctor kidnapped Chase again!” His eyes filled with tears.

The Shepherd sighed and put a hand on Marauder’s shoulder. “Okay, when the mayor does her speech, we’ll do a quick speedrun through town. He can’t be far. Don’t worry, we’ll get him back.”

Marauder nodded, blinking back tears. No time to cry when there’s a battle.

“Shepherd? It’s time,” an employee whispered. The Brighton Shepherd cracked his neck.

“Show time, baby.” He punched the painted brick wall concealing him, creating a perfect hole. “Alright, put your hands in the air!” he yelled to the crowd.

*

The lair lit up as the car entered and parked in its appointed place. Marvin threw the door open and breathed in the familiar smell of the evil, abandoned, Monster Munch snack factory. A long time ago, it smelled of moldy cheese puffs and rat manure, but now it smelled of malevolence, metal, and a whole lot of cologne.

No matter how many times he arrived, the sweet scent always relaxed the supervillain after a hard day in jail or fighting the Shepherd. “Oh Doc, there’s no place like our evil lair!”

“I’ve kept it cold and damp, just the way you like it!” Schneep said, hauling the sleeping Chase out of the car.

A swarm of tiny robots flew over to Marvin, their engines whirring with delight. The model was a small purple circle with four robotic legs that could grip and lift up to 1,000 pounds. Of course, each had cat ears attached to the sides of their heads and a cat tail at the back. The CATs,  Marvin had fondly called them. Their singular glowing yellow eyes in the center of their body looked up at their darling master.

“The CATs have certainly missed you, sir!” Schneep exclaimed.

Marvin bent down to caress their smooth heads. “Did you miss your daddy? Who’s a menacing little android? You are, yes, you are!”

One CAT held up a ball of twine. Marvin grabbed it and tossed it across the lair, the CATs trailing after it.

Two older models of the CATs held up a curtain while two others held up Marvin’s new suit. Marvin gratefully ripped off the ugly bluish-grey prison rags and changed into his white button-up, black dress pants, and sparkly purple vest. A CAT draped his famous black cloak with magenta lining around his shoulders while another handed him his beautiful cat mask with the magician’s card designs drawn on. He happily donned the mask with pride and stepped out.

“How do I look, Doctor? Do I look evil?” Marvin asked, spinning.

“Horrifyingly striking, sir,” Schneep said. He opened a small gate to an elevator platform, “Shall we?”

At the top, Schneep set Chase down on a chair while Marvin checked all the monitors and buttons.

“Everything ready?”

“Of course! I would never leave anything unchecked before a big event!” Schneep said. Beside the doctor, Chase began to stir, grunting and yelling muffled by the bag.

“He’s awake! Quick everyone, places!” Marvin ordered. He jumped onto his chair and motioned a small CAT to lie down in his lap while he fixed his hair once more.

Schneep ripped the bag off of Chase’s head as Marvin twirled his chair around, menacingly stroking the CAT. “Mr. Brody, we meet again.”

“Would it kill you to wash the bag?” Chase complained, “it fucking stinks and the spray bottle is no better!”

“You can scream all you want, Brody, I’m afraid no one can hear you!” Malevolent announced. Chase remained stone-faced.

Marvin frowned. “Why isn’t he screaming?”

Schneep sighed exasperatedly and bent down next to Chase, “Mr. Brody, if you don’t mind-”

“Screaming sounds a lot like this: aaaahhhhh!” Malevolent demonstrated. “I mean, that’s a poor example but-”

The CAT sitting on his lap bit his hand. Malevolent emitted a high-pitched shriek as he tried to shake the little robot off.

“Not to sound like a sadist but it’s more fun when you do it,” Chase deadpanned.

“Very funny,” the Doctor snapped. “You’ll be singing a different tune when the Brighton Shepherd is defeated right before your eyes!”

Ignoring both of them, Chase decided to examine the observatory, the usual spot for Malevolent and Shepherd’s battles. Most of it was the usual, a long control booth circling the room, full of buttons and levers that would release death traps, lasers, and other lame inventions. Above the panel were monitors of different sizes. On one side of the elevator was a broken vending machine where Doctor grabbed his sleeping spray, while on the other side was a strange metal sphere with axes and spikes sticking out of it (Chase asked and even Malevolent had no idea what it was).

“Speaking of watching, do you have your camera set up?” Malevolent asked, finally yanking off the biting CAT.

“Yup! It’s in the pin this time! Anthony helped me set it up!” Chase puffed his chest out to show it off.

Malevolent ran a hand through his thick black hair and twirled around, letting his cape fly in the wind.

“So guys, what’s on the menu for today? Robosheep? Typhoon cheese? A big ball of aluminum that will roll around town?” Chase asked.

Behind his plague doctor mask, Schneeplestein grinned. It was his time to shine! “Actually, we created a cool ray that uses the sun to make explosive lasers, wanna see?!” He excitedly rushed over to the main control booth and began typing in the passcode to turn it on.

Marvin yelped and pulled Schneep away from the booth, “Easy there, Doc, we’ll show it in time!”

“Brody wanted to see it!” Schneep protested. “It’s not like it would hurt, would it?”

“Think, Doctor! He’s using his nosy reporter skills to find out all our secrets!” Malevolent accused, snarling at Chase.

Chase rolled his eyes, chuckling. These two could be quite entertaining. “What secrets?! You’re so predictable!”

“Oh, that’s the insult for today?! Tell me, my dear Brody, would you call this predictable?” Marvin pulled down a lever and the floor around Chase opened up.

“Your alligators, yes!” Chase nodded in greeting to the snapping reptiles. “Yeah, I was just thinking about these guys on the way over!”

Truth be told, Chase was dreaming of riding a large parrot to Disney World while in the car. But Malevolent didn’t need to know that.

Marvin turned back to the panel. How dare Chase see through his armour?! He quickly slammed a button. “What about this?”

A sharp razor painted blood red danced in Chase’s face. “That’s kind of tacky.”

Marvin punched another button and a junky invention of multiple chainsaws attached to the ceiling lowered down. The chainsaws had gotten their chains stuck to each other and could barely move. Chase pretended to contemplate it. “Mm, juvenile.”

Marvin pulled another lever. “What about this?!”

A giant fart gun shot green gas out. Chase gagged. “Gross and immature!”

“What’s this one do?!” A weak fire machine coughed out small bits of fire.

“That’s just sad,” Chase said. He looked up and nearly jumped out of his seat. A small spider floated downwards. “Is the spider new?”

Marvin turned to Schneeplestein, who merely shrugged. When this was all over, Marvin was going to give him a stern talking to about bug extermination in the lair.

“Ah yes, the spe-dair-a,” Marvin whispered as he advanced closer to Chase. “Even the smallest bite from Arachnis Deathicus will instantly paralyze-”

Chase blew the spider onto Marvin’s cheek, causing him to scream again. Schneep punched him hard enough to knock him over.

“GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!!!! IT BIT MEEEEE!!!” Marvin screamed as Schneep continually smacked him with a newspaper. The spider fell off of Marvin’s cheek and began advancing to the control panel.

“STOP IT BEFORE IT DISAPPEARS!” Marvin howled as he crawled away from the disgusting creature.

After five minutes of Marvin’s dramatic wails and crawling and Schneep swearing like a sailor, Chase finally put an end to the spider’s life by stomping on it when it got close enough.

Marvin crawled over to Chase and grovelled at his bound feet. “Thank you, you are a lifesaver!” He suddenly spied the pin. “Is that still on?”

Chase smiled smugly, “I’ll burn the evidence if you let me go and we’ll never speak of it again.”

Marvin stood up, scowling, “Absolutely not! We haven’t even gotten to the fun part! Let’s pay your boyfriend and godfather a visit, shall we?”

*

Back at the town square, the mayor had finished up her rather short speech, “It is with great pleasure that I present Brighton Shepherd to his new museum! When you’re ready!”

Shepherd’s laser eyes cut the rope and the great curtains fell, revealing the giant statue of the superhero. A brass band played loudly over the sound of a cheering crowd.

Jackie applauded happily for his mentor, but couldn’t help but feel slightly jealous. In all fairness, the Shepherd had been around longer than he had, and he was still familiarizing himself with the city.

A sudden chill running up his arms woke Jackie from his thoughts. He looked up and gasped. Dark clouds quickly enveloped the museum. People shrieked in terror as a big, black blimp hovered above the great building, rolling down two large projection screens underneath. Once positioned on each side of the magnificent statue, a small circular robot holding a camera turned the screens on, showing the face of the one to blame for the chaos: the Malevolent.

The Brighton Shepherd and the Red Marauder flew up, Shepherd holding up a microphone.

“If it isn’t the Malevolent!”

“Bravo, Brighton Shepherd! Congratulations on your new museum!” Malevolent drawled, clapping slowly.

The crowd began to boo loudly. Malevolent blew a raspberry at the crowd, “So immature!” he scoffed.

“Should have known you’d try and crash the party!” Shepherd said.

“Oh, I intend to do more than crash it! This will be a historic day you, and Brighton City, will not soon forget!”

“We all know how this ends!” Shepherd said. “With you behind bars!”

“Ooh, I tremble in my kitten-skinned cape,” Malevolent hissed, playfully wrapping himself up in his cape. The cape was actually made from cotton, but the city didn’t need to know that.

“What do you want with us, Mal?” Shepherd demanded.

“First off, don’t call me ‘Mal’,” Malevolent snapped. “Secondly, if you and your tomato sidekick don’t leave town in an hour, then this will be the last you ever hear of Chase Brody!” Malevolent punched a button and the left screen presented the kidnapped Chase tied to a chair.

“I knew it!” Jackie muttered behind his mask.

“Don’t panic Chase! We’re on our way!” Shepherd cried out, earning a cheer from the crowd.

“I’m not panicking!” Chase responded, smiling.

Malevolent pretended to gag. “Oh, please. You have to find us first before you save Chase.”

“We’re at the abandoned observatory!” Chase quickly called out.

Malevolent suddenly turned off Chase’s camera, yelping, “WAIT DON’T TO LISTEN TO HIM-”

It was too late. Shepherd and Marauder were already flying above the dark grey smoke. Shepherd quickly spotted the broken down space observatory near the dangerous part of Brighton City beach and pointed it to Marauder. The two began their flight.

Back at the lair, Schneep watched the superheroes from his monitor. “Shepherd and Marauder approaching, sir!”

Marvin turned to Chase, who shot him a smug grin. Marvin only smiled in return.

“Like we said, you’ll be singing a different tune when you see what we have planned!”

The Shepherd would almost be here. Chase closed his eyes and ducked his head for the inevitable ceiling crash.

Shepherd and Marauder flew through the opening of the observatory and landed. Or rather, Shepherd landed gracefully on his feet while Marauder tripped and fell over. Behind them, the heavy doors slid shut.

Shepherd looked around. The place was quiet and eerily empty. No sound of any cat-bots. No evil laughter from the Malevolent.

“Something’s wrong…” Shepherd muttered. He turned to the doors. Were they locked in?! He ran over to check.

Puzzled, Chase looked up. Where were they?

Malevolent reveled in Brody’s confused expression. He fiddled with the control panel, opening up one of the walls.

“You didn’t think we were in the real observatory… did you?!”

Chase could stare in horror as he spotted the real observatory. He couldn’t believe it. He had led the two superheroes right into a trap.

Malevolent laughed triumphantly. “Ready the Death Ray, Doctor!”

Doctor typed in the passcode and pulled the lever down. “Death Ray ready-ing!”

In the real abandoned observatory, Shepherd and Marauder desperately tried to get the doors open.

“I can’t believe Malevolent actually tricked us! How did he seal the doors?!” Marauder moaned.

“Don’t worry Red, we’ll find a way out,” Shepherd said, smiling.

“Over here, boys,” a voice like ice called out. The superheroes turned to see a large projection of Malevolent smiling down on them.

“In case you haven’t noticed, you’ve fallen right into my trap!” Malevolent boasted.

The Shepherd motioned Marauder to find an escape before turning to Malevolent. “You can’t trap justice! It’s an idea! A belief!”

“Well sometimes the most heartfelt belief can be corroded over time!” Malevolent responded.

“Justice is a non-corrosive metal!”

“Then I will just melt it with the heat of revenge!”

“FYI, revenge is best served cold!” Shepherd corrected him. From the side, Marauder shook his head. As much as he respected his mentor and feared Malevolent, their “witty back-and-forth banter” was lame.

“It can easily be reheated in the microwave of evil! Don’t doubt me!” Malevolent snarled.

“Well I think your warranty is about to expire!” Shepherd declared.

“Fuck you, I have an extended warranty!” Malevolent retaliated.

“Language, my dear sir! And warranties are invalid if you don’t use the product for its intended purpose!” Shepherd roared.

“OH! Girls, girls, you’re both pretty!” Chase yelled from his seat. He turned to Malevolent, exasperated, “My whole body is sore. Can I just go home now?!”

Malevolent turned around to throw an empty can of Cola at Chase. It bonked off the side of his head.

“You’ll just have to wait, dear Brody! Your beloved superheroes first must prove if they can escape the inevitable power of the sun! Fire!”

Marauder conjured a shield for himself and Shepherd. When the Shepherd made no move to protect himself, Marauder realized nothing was coming. What happened?

Meanwhile, Marvin approached Schneep and the machine. Schneep learned against the panel, snoring softly. Marvin poked him, “Doctor, wake up!”

Schneep startled, “Oh! Sorry!” He turned to the machine, “The machine is still warming up. I expect we have a few more minutes before it fires.”

Marvin’s face turned as red as Marauder’s suit. “Warming up?! The sun is warming up?!”

Chase started laughing, “The sore arms and legs are definitely worth this riot. Just you wait, the Shepherd and Marauder will be on you in min-”

Malevolent tossed another empty can at Chase. Chase immediately shut up. “That’s better.”

“Don’t worry Chase, we’re on our way!” Marauder yelled from the monitor.

Malevolent stomped over to the camera, “Get here faster, I’m this close to throwing his stupid ass off the balcony!”

This caused Marauder to flip. “Hang in there Chase, I’m coming!” He rocketed up to fly out, only to crash into the ceiling and fall back down unceremoniously.

“Marauder, we’ve talked about this! You need to think before you do anything!” Shepherd lightly scolded. “Now, what do we have that can create a hole in the wall?”

“This whole day is a mess…” Doctor muttered from his spot at the panel.

“I’m sorry, whose side are you on?!” Malevolent demanded.

“The losing side!” Chase interjected.

“Everybody shut up,” Malevolent ordered. He sighed, rubbing his temples. “You know what? I need to take a nap. Call me when the ray is ready!”

“The ray is ready!” Doctor announced. In seconds a bright beam of yellow flew down, destroying the observatory in seconds. Fire and burning metal fell out of the demolished observatory, some of it flying directly towards the lair.

Malevolent quickly waved his hands in a circular motion, muttering. A shimmering purple bubble wrapped around Doctor and Chase. As debris rained down, Malevolent deflected them with bursts of purple fireworks. Chase watched in amazement, gaping.

“I keep forgetting he can do magic...” Chase muttered. “He uses so much technology instead.”

Doctor laughed, “Well, he’s not called the Magician for nothing.”

When the commotion calmed down and the debris stopped coming, Marvin twirled around, blowing a stray hair out his eye. The bright glow of the burning observatory behind the magician outlined his epic form. “Did your camera get that, Brody?”

Two more pieces of falling debris gracelessly smashed into Marvin. Chase happily squealed upon seeing the dusty forms of the Brighton Shepherd and the Red Marauder.

“I… should have seen that coming,” Marvin squeaked. “How did you escape so fast?”

“Laser eyes are a wonderful thing!” Marauder answered, giving Marvin a playful wink as he stood up. Marvin stuck his tongue out.

“The gig is up, Mal. We’re taking you back to jail, where you belong!” Shepherd declared. Marvin sighed and slammed his head down on the floor. Naturally, he lost. Again.

Schneep’s distressed cries snapped Marvin back to attention. He turned to his head to see Marauder on top of a struggling Schneep. Schneep’s whimpers and half-sobs were lost on Marauder, who continued tying his wrists behind him.

“Might as well send the Malevolent’s accomplice to jail as well! That way he won’t escape again!” the sidekick reasoned.

Something in Marvin snapped. “NO!” he screamed, startling the Shepherd. With his nemesis off his back, Marvin set his eyes on Brody and magically put the reporter in a choke hold.

Chase gasped raggedly as the air left his lungs.

Marvin whirled around to face Marauder, growling, “Let the doctor go!”

“Get your hands off Chase!” Marauder yelped, staring helplessly at his struggling brother.

“First, free the doctor!” Marvin shouted. He tightened his grip on Chase, lifting him out of the chair.

“Put Chase down!” Marauder roared, eyes glowing red.

Chase wheezed pathetically, black spots darting in his vision. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe. He let out a strangled sob, tears falling. In all his time with Malevolent… he had never felt so scared.

Jackie’s eyes lost their glow and he loosened his grip on the Doctor. Underneath him, the Doctor moaned in pain.

“Let him go, Red.” Jackie turned to Shepherd in shock. The usually optimistic and brightly-smiling superhero had a grim expression on his face. Jackie spluttered.

“B- but- The Doctor will just free the Malevolent again! We could stop them both once and for all-”

“You heard me. Let him go,” Shepherd ordered. Reluctantly, Jackie stood up and backed away from the Doctor. The shaking man took no time running to the stairs and quickly disappearing.

Marvin waited until Schneep’s footsteps faded away before releasing Chase, gently laying him down. Chase gulped in tearful breaths, his body trembling. Marauder rushed over to free Chase while Shepherd tied the magician’s hands behind him.

The minute his hands were free, Chase threw his arms around Jackie. Jackie gently hugged him.

“Are you okay?” Jackie whispered. Chase nodded, still gasping.

“I’ll take Malevolent to jail,” the Shepherd said. “You get Chase to a hospital!” He took off, Malevolent dangling in his arms. The magician waved goodbye as he and the Shepherd disappeared into the city.

Jackie picked up Chase bridal style and started flying as well.

He kept the flight light and steady to keep Chase from getting sick. Chase buried his head in Jackie’s shoulder for most of the trip, eyes squeezed shut. He hated heights.

As they arrived at the hospital, a medical team waited outside to take Chase in. After the first few kidnappings, a special team offered to dedicate themselves to healing Chase in case he needed it.

“Ja-Jackie?” Chase stuttered. Jackie looked down at his almost unconscious friend.

“Ma-Make sure th-this doesn’t reach An-Anthony, oh-ok?” Chase begged between gasps.

Jackie nodded, confused. “Alright… I won’t tell him.”

*

The cell stunk. No one here ever bothered to put an air freshener in his jail cell, despite Marvin’s numerous polite requests to have it put in. According to the security guards, the Malevolent “could use it as a weapon” or a “gas bomb”. Please.

Marvin sighed as best as he could. As if to enact revenge for strangling Chase, the security staff had clamped an even smaller chain around his neck, making it hard to breathe. Or move. Or do anything. The rest of his body wasn’t much better, with a larger chain wrapped around his waist and movement sensory chains bruising his wrists. If he tried using any magic, the chains on his wrist would shock him. After today, electrocution was the last thing Marvin needed.

Marvin looked up to check the premises. After checking to make sure the guards were gone, Marvin snapped his fingers, careful not to move his wrists too much. Immediately, the chains loosened, allowing Marvin to take a shuddering gasp. He knew the minute he heard the guards coming to check on him, he had to tighten them again, so he took advantage of the situation.

At least the Doctor was free. He wasn’t being made to sit in a stinky, small cell, wrapped in large chains that threatened to strangle him at any moment. He was free to relax after a hard day, planning for the next breakout. For now, Schneep could rest.

Marvin leaned back against his chair, closing his eyes. Schneeplestein would help him escape again. For now, the magician himself will think of another plan to get back at the Brighton Shepherd.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@graysun, @florenceisfalling, @miishae, @lonelyseiren, @goldenoceanaart, @oasisofgalaxies, @fleecal, @kofi-kiing, @myspatialspace, @jo-ann-ahh-2, @huffletrax, @indic0lite, @dumbasticart, @lunaarmada, @meteorshowersfillthesky, @uhhbeans,  @the-pastel-kitsune, @ptide  @climbing-starrs, @the-spawn-of-loki, @jadehowlettthewolf, @obsidiancreates, @rammypaige, @cest-mellow, @randowaffle, @green-protects, @dezi-popp, @badlypostedeverything, @crystalninjaphoenix, @milokno, @pixelpixie-pix, @why-killed-markiplier

[that-bi-bitch-writes]

Wanda + Vision +[Name??]

So I wrote this all just now and I wanted to actually follow the entire Wandavision series so this should be done after 9 maybe 10 chapters. This chapter is very very very awkward and I did that on purpose because I wanted to write in the style of an outsider who is describing what’s happening.

If you watch Wandavision you know there are times when you’re watching Wanda’s show and times when you’re watching the miniseries on Disney + and it’s usually signified but the borderlines on the tv. Well I don’t have borderlines but I can switch up writing styles. When it’s awkward think of the parts that Wanda has edited and aired on tv herself. Almost as if sometimes I(as the author) am on the outside of the hex.

There are very minor changes to the original details so you can skim if you’d like but then ending from the weird spacing part down is important.I hope you Enjoy!

Chapter One: Filmed in front of a live studio audience.

The Screen is in black and white as a theme song plays over a montage of a car driving into town. In it sits a man in a suit and woman in a white dress. From the sign and the cans dragging from the back of the car, the two driving are a cute and apparently newlywed couple.

“A newlywed couple just moved to town. A regular husband and wife who left the big city to find a new life. Wanda Vision”

The man, apparently Vision, steps out of the car as his wife Wanda points toward the house’s for sale sign and zaps it so it says sold. He lifts her in his arms and carries her towards the door but phases through as she drops on the ground shaking her head in disapproval with a smile on her face.

“She’s a magical cal in a small town locale. He’s a homie who’s part machine. How will these two fit in...”

Vision opens the door and picks Wanda up once again. He successfully phases through a small chair while holding her in his arms. Vision puts Wanda down and they begin to dance as the credits roll over their faces. 

“Wanda Vision” the theme song finishes as the screen fades to black. The scene changes and Wanda points at several things and they begin to levitate in the style of an old time visual effect. As she puts the levitating plates away Vision walks through the kitchen with his nose in the newspaper. A plate crashes over his head.

“My wife and her flying saucers”

“My husband and his indestructible head” cue the laugh track.

Wanda reads off the menu of a human man’s dreams as vision stares boredly into the newspaper. He reminds her she doesn’t eat. She jokes.

“Wanda?”

“Hmm”

“Is there something special about today?”

“Well I know the apron was a bit much dear but I am doing my best to blend in”

“No no there on the calendar someone’s drawn a little heart. Right above today’s date”

“Oh yes the heart.” Her voice pitches “Well don’t tell me you’ve forgotten Vis.”

“Forgotten? Oh Wanda I’m incapable of forgetting I remember everything and that’s not an exaggeration. In fact, I’m incapable of exaggeration.

The two go back and forth as it becomes more and more obvious that neither one of them knows what’s going on. To get out of the conversation Vision heads to work and Wanda reminds him of his robotic look. He shakes his face as sparkles appear. He heads off to work and Wanda comes closer to the calendar. It is August 23rd and she just can’t seem to remember what’s going to happen. She hears a knocking noise before the screen glitches. No picture comes up but a distinct phrase can be heard. “Happy Birthday to me”

The picture clears up and Wanda is interacting with a cheerful woman who introduces herself as Agnes. Agnes jokes with Wanda and presents her a plant before asking Wanda questions that just can’t seem to be answered. Not without magic of course. Questions about the occupants of the home, how things became so settled and why the date could be so special to the newlyweds. Agnes asks if it’s a birthday and Wanda refuses assuredly although she is very wrong. With Agnes’ prompting Wanda decides it is her anniversary and should do something special to keep Vision happy. Wanda agrees.

Vision is seen finishing work as he attempts to fit in, but he finishes his workload so quickly it is kind of odd. His coworker Norm stares in astonishment and offers to help Vision in any way. Vision in his confusion wants to know what exactly they do there. He seems to just know what to do at certain moments but he doesn’t know how or why. It is kind of… odd. Norm and Vision go through a pointless conversation because neither of them know exactly what is going on and Vision reacts poorly to one of Norm’s jokes. In his solution Norm asks Vision to vent his frustrations. In the middle of their conversation Vision’s boss Mr Hart tells Vision he is excited for their dinner because if it doesn’t go well Vision will be fired. Vision assumes that is what the heart is for and assures him everything will go smoothly before looking off in worry.

Wanda and Agnes are discussing what Wanda can do to enhance their anniversary evening. Wanda rightly inquires about the seduction techniques she should be putting into place. The phone rings and Wanda and Vision begin talking about their plans for the evening. Vision says he’s nervous for the evening and Wanda feels flattered. Vision suggests that the evening is of utmost importance and Wanda gets nervous implying that it is only one night. The two seem to think they are on the same page but neither of them is reading the right book. Wanda seems to think a seduction technique is required, and Vision assumes his wife is waiting at home ready to impress his boss. 

Vision arrives home with the Harts and calls out to Wanda who comes around in a shawl and places her hands over Mr Hart’s eyes. It isn’t until Vision comes out of the kitchen that she realizes her mistake. They clumsily cover Wanda’s mistake by implying it is from her European culture. Mr Hart implies that he is hostile towards communist Europeans and his wife chides him. Wanda and Vision meet in the kitchen to straighten out their misunderstandings. Vision is obviously really intrigued by Wanda’s outfit and keeps circling back to it. Wanda realizes there needs to be a home cooked meal on the table. Flashing a dress onto her body she calls over Agnes to bring over some food.

Mr Hart and Vision are chatting in the living room and Mrs Hart gets a little antsy hoping to help Wanda in the kitchen so she’d have something to do while the boys talk business. Agnes makes a lot of noise in the kitchen so Mrs Hart is very inclined to help. After Wanda shows Agnes out Mrs Hart opens the shutters to the kitchen. Vision draws her attention by singing. Not horribly but very obviously strained. By singing he entertains Mrs Hart but Mr Hart is not at all please. Wanda becomes overwhelmed and her powers start to cause accidents. She forgets things and shouts leaving Vision to cover for her. He comes into the kitchen to help as Wanda switches out with him. The Hart’s are starved and do not feel very happy with their visit to Wanda and Vision’s household. Wanda very poorly distracts them and Agnes knocks on the door causing further confusion.

Wanda walks into the kitchen with a mind to fix everything. She magics up breakfast for dinner and serves it up as Mr Hart begins to doubt vision and doubt his management skills. Everything is done just in time and all four sit down to eat. Mrs Hart goes on a similar line of questioning like Agnes and asks Wanda questions she simply does not have the answer to, like how long they’ve been married, why the move and why they don’t have children. Neither Wanda or vision can answer the questions and Mr Hart escalates the situation by continuously questioning the newlyweds. Mrs Hart tries to deescalate the situation but is no help. As Mr Hart becomes more and more indignant he chokes. As if he’s joking Mrs Hart demands he stop it. 

The longer the choking goes on the perspective changes. Mrs Hart no longer demands her husband stop and turns to Wanda as she pleads. Her smile does not change but it doesn’t reach her eyes. The camera pans to a confused Vision, then Wanda and back to Mrs Hart. Wanda asks Vision to help Mr Hart and he phases his hand through the man’s throat to pull out a chocolate covered strawberry. The ones Wanda left in the kitchen before preparing dinner. When he recovers the Harts leave. Mrs Hart ushering them out with a joke. Suddenly Mr Hart is proud of Vision and suggests Vision may be getting a promotion. The Harts interaction with Wanda is strange but with Vision they talk almost normally. When the two finally leave, Wanda sighs and Vision reverts to his normal form.

Wanda points out that the two of them are an unusual couple that don’t have an anniversary or a song or wedding rings. They designate August 23rd as their anniversary. Their song becomes yakkity yak. Vision asks Wanda to make them rings and when she waves her finger they get rings dedicated to each other and say I do. They kiss and Vision presses a button and the live studio audience cheers them on. The credits appear to roll as Wanda and Vision’s faces are framed in a hexagon. Then the music suddenly stops and they look at each other. Almost as if her magic was delayed another set of rings appear on their fingers and their front door opens.

“Happy Birthday to me and Happy Anniversary to you my loves”

Wanda looks at the door in surprise and alarm. Vision has another one of those moments where he just knows exactly what to do and turns towards the door. He uses Wanda’s hand to help her up off the couch and leads her to the door. She follows trusting her husband. Vision walks up to the man and using his free hand to grab the man’s face he leans in and kisses him.

“Happy Birthday [Name]. I love you”

[Name] turns toward Wanda and gives her a brilliant smile. “Happy Anniversary Wanda.” 

Wanda is confused yet charmed and she thinks about the second ring on her finger. She looks [Name] in the eyes and smiles a genuine smile. “Happy Birthday [Name]” and as she leans in to give him a kiss, the cameras fade to black.