#someone give me a fucking chill pill

[clovesnz]

Is it weird to struggle not to say “I love you” to someone you’ve only been seeing a couple of weeks?

I was just, so used to saying it casually, to my ex, since that was a long-term relationship, that now it’s just part of my affection vocabulary 😂

[femonologue]

Many years ago, I was wandering around downtown Ottawa with my best friend. We ran into a friend of his who offered us some hash (it sucked), then said there was a really good house party nearby if we wanted to go. We were like, yeah, sure. So that's how we ended up at some completely fucking random person's house.

I look around to ask if my friend knows anyone here and he's simply gone, as is his friend. And this isn't some red solo cup hangout; this is a party. There's people counting out pills on the kitchen counter. I am clearly neither as cool nor as drug-savvy as the kitchen people, so I back away and instead wander aimlessly into the living room, which seems to give off more of a chill vibe.

A bunch of people are seated in a circle on the floor. One of them is fiddling with a big wad of newspaper or something. A really cute grunge girl with piercings and tattoos scoots aside to make room for me, so I sit down.

"What's that," I ask her, gesturing at the newspaper wad.

She gets a really big smile on her face. You know the smile. It's the I'm About To Watch This Innocent Soul Get High As Fuck smile. "You've never smoked a tulip?"

"What's a tulip?" I ask.

"It's like if a joint was also a bong," she replies. "You gotta try it."

"Alright," I reply, a little uncertainly. This will not be my first encounter with weed. I am more comfortable with the janky newspaper bong than I am with whatever the fuck is going on in the kitchen. Besides, this girl is really cute and I would like to have a friend here now that my existing friend has turned into vapor or been transported to the Upside-Down or whatever the hell happened to him.

I watch as one person holds the newspaper joint-bong upright and holds a lighter over the top while another gets beneath it, tilting their head back to take a puff. Apparently smoking this Cheech & Chong monstrosity is a two-person job.

"Oh," I say, looking at the fist-sized knob at the top of the wonky newspaper joint. "Yeah, it does kinda look like a tulip." Grunge girl smiles at me.

I watch as the tulip is passed around the circle, along with the lighter, and hits are cooperatively taken. It reaches grunge girl, who takes a huge puff and holds it for an extended moment before exhaling an impressive blast of smoke. She smiles expectantly and holds the tulip up for me, preparing to spark the gigantic meteor of dank that makes up its tip. By this point I have completely forgotten about my missing friend. I only care about making a good impression on grunge girl. I tilt my head back and hit the tulip like a smokestack.

It is the following morning. I am sleeping between a couch and a wall. I'm not positive that this is the same house I was just in. My memories are gone. Someone is yelling at me: "dude! Dude! Wake up, dude!"

I sit up. My mouth tastes like cigarettes. I do not smoke cigarettes. "Wha," I ask the yelling man, who I am quite confident I have never met before in my life.

"We're going on a quest," he tells me, gravely. "You have to come with us."

I look around. Neither my friend nor his friend are anywhere in sight. I also do not see grunge girl anywhere. I shrug helplessly. "Okay."

We embark from this house. I learn that the destination of this quest is Tim Horton's. This is a relief to me, as coffee and a donut sounds really fucking good right now. Somehow, the route to Tim Horton's takes us past the Governor-General's residence, which everyone else in the group loudly heckles on the way past. I do not know what the Governor-General has done to raise their ire, nor do I particularly care. I trudge along with my hands in my pockets, pleased to note that I still have my wallet, phone, and keys. I fervently wish that I could remember anything about last night. Maybe I talked to grunge girl. Maybe she's why my mouth tastes like cigarettes. The tulip tasted nothing like cigarettes.

I am asked about my politics. I voice my frustrations with corporate corruption, the pay-to-win electoral system, the lack of transparency and accountability. This is met with great approval. The guy who was yelling at me claps me on the back. I get the impression that we became friends last night. I don't recognize his face. I do not know his name and he definitely does not know mine. I behave as though we're friends anyway. We are comrades on a quest.

By the time we make it to Tim Hortons, the gaggle of stoners I'm walking with have all run out of energy and/or attention span. People order snacks and break away in pairs or solo, to call for rides or plan the day's events or just vegetate and wait for the drugs to leave their systems. I look around and find that my nameless friend has also gone to the Upside-Down. As I wash the cigarette taste out of my mouth with coffee, I unsuccessfully try to remember whether I saw grunge girl smoking tobacco at any point. I remember nothing. That tulip was so fucking powerful that it instantly sent me a whole day forward in time.

Alone in the city, I try to call my best friend and get no answer. I walk to the nearest bus stop, catch a bus most of the way home, and call up my parents to ask for a ride back. They ask where my friend is. I tell them that I have no idea; we went to a house party and I don't remember anything else.

When they pick me up from the bus station, they ask me some very safe, nonspecific questions, and seem to relax when I describe what little I can remember. It isn't until years later that I realize they were probably terrified I'd gotten rufied or something, and were so relieved to learn otherwise that they didn't even bother chiding me for smoking myself unconscious in an effort to impress a strange woman. In any case, they were probably happy to find out that I did, in fact, like girls; I suspect they had been privately wondering whether I was gay.

After getting home, I finally manage to get my best friend to answer his phone. I discover that he tried the kitchen pills, spent most of the night crossing the entire city on foot, and crashed at his cousin's house. He sounds like shit. I tell him that he should have tried the tulip, instead. He fervently agrees with me.

I never see grunge girl again.

That's okay, though. She got to see a clueless stranger get fucked the entire way up on some ungodly strain of giga-weed, and I got smiled at by a cute girl, and then I got to go on a quest. Wherever grunge girl is, I hope she's happy. I hope she's smoking the fattest fucking blunt and smiling as some kid passes out behind a couch.

[soopcak3]

Pills 💊

Thanos(Choi Su-Bong) x Reader/smut🔥

Summary: after six legged race, Y/N asks to try one of Thanos’ pills before she dies. Things escalate quickly and they end up getting freaky in the bathroom.

Warnings: smut obvi, drug use, m!masturbation, face sitting, p in v, probs others

After red light, green light, Y/N hated Thanos. How could he push those people and just kill them? What a bitch. As they entered the giant room everyone slept in, it felt chilling seeing all the beds of the previous players had vanished.

Y/N looked at the number on her jacket and then up at the prize money. She was player 227. Thanos, player 230, approached her.

“Hey Senorita~” He smirked and winked at her. “Tryna come into the Thanos world?” He asked, making a kissy face. Y/N scoffed, “no. but I’ll take one of those pills in your necklace.”

Y/N smirked, knowing she caught him off guard. “I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about!” He scowled. She grabbed his necklace and brought him closer to her, whispering in his ear, “give me one and I might fuck you before we both die in here~”

He smirked, tucking his necklace back into his jacket and walked with her to the bathroom. The triangle guards walked them in and Thanos pushed her into the boys bathroom.

He immediately opened his cross necklace and handed her a pill, which she eagerly swallowed. “I hope that’s not all you’re willing to swallow, senorita~” He commented, to which she pushed him to the ground, sat on his lap and straddled him. “You’re such an asshole.. ya know that? What kind of girl do you think I am?” Y/N stood up and laughed, “drop your pants, dumbass.”

He smiled and immediately took off his pants, revealing his hard cock. Y/N smirked and began strip teasing for him, feeling herself in every way possible as the pill began to make her feel like heaven. Thanos began stroking himself as he watched her move, his cock aching with the need to release. She caressed her breasts and swayed before crawling onto the floor and hovering over him.

“Hm.. pathetic. You really think I’m gonna—!” Y/N gasped as Thanos dived his head between her thighs, lapping at her clit and her slippery hole. She moaned out loudly, surprised she enjoyed every second of it, the pill only enhancing her pleasure. Mmm.. fuck..!! Y-you’re surprisingly good at this— FUCK!” Y/N cried out as he stuck his tongue inside her.

He moved his finger to her clit, rubbing circles around it as fast as he could, Y/N began to grind onto his face as he skillfully ate her out. “Cum for me angel~” he grunted as she gasped out and came on his face, her legs shuddering.

“Ohh fuck…” she panted. “You gonna let me dick you down or no, princess?” Thanos asked, smirking underneath her. Y/N scoffed playfully, “fine.. I guess you aren’t THAT small.” He growled at thrusted up into her quickly, giving her no time to adjust.

She cried out in pleasure, her body still pulsing from both the pill and her previous orgasm. Thanos continued thrusting up into her repeatedly as if it was the last time he’d ever fuck someone. “You like that princess? Huh? You taking it like such a little slut.. my slutty princess~” He groaned with a small smile tugging at his lips.

As he said that, Y/N quickly began bouncing on his cock with as much force as possible, his dick reaching places inside her that had never been reached before. Thanos groaned loudly as she shouted out in ecstasy as she once again came all over his fat cock. He soon followed after her and filled her up with his cum.

He thrusted weakly a few more times before pulling out, a string of cum falling onto his cock. “Well then senorita… guess we’ll have to do this more often~” She smirked in her high state and kissed him roughly before standing up, putting her clothes back on, and stumbling out of the bathroom.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Charlie Morningstar, actual princess of hell, sitting very stiff and straight and awkward on the throne of hell during a Formal Thing, looking very Uncomfy about it... until....

Vaggie: "Are you guys all blind? She's gorgeous up there."

Angel Dust: "No surprises YOU'D like seein' her all stiff."

Vaggie: "Fuck off. She looks dignified. Formal-"

Alastor: "Tense?"

Niffty: "Like rigger mortis!"

Cherri Bomb: "Like she's sitting on TNT."

Angel Dust: "Stiffer than a porn star tryn'a pay rent."

Husk: "I can hear her fucking teeth grinding through that forced grin."

Vaggie: "Alright, she's a bit nervous sitting on the throne of hell for the first time, filling in for the absent queen mom and the shut in king dad. So what."

Alastor: "It is becoming SLIGHTLY detrimental, ha ha!"

Vaggie: "You told her to sit still up there and look pretty. Look. She's sitting. She's pretty."

Angel Dust: "You're gay."

Vaggie: "Hi gay I'm her girlfriend."

Husk: (snorts)

Alastor: "I'm SURE she is ALL those things, my dear-"

Vaggie: "Touch me and the sleeve comes off with your arm in it."

Husk: (SNIGGERS)

Alastor: "-but she IS mainly meant to be inspiring CONFIDENCE in her ability to run hell as it's de-facto ruler!"

Vaggie: "And?"

Alastor: "Well it WOULD be nice if she could make the symbolic at of sitting on the throne of hell, in full view of what is MEANT to be HER royal court, seem just a BIT more, hrmm... NATURAL~"

Vaggie: "What the fuck does that mean. She's princess of Hell. However she sits on the dumb chair is natural."

Angel Dust: "Toots, she's third in line ruler of all Pride, an' she looks..."

Niffty: "WRETCHED!"

Husk: "Fucking pitiful."

Alastor: "Once again I shall go with TENSE."

Vaggie: "You want her to relax up there?"

Alastor: "I would rather say, it is VITAL that she does so~!"

Cherri Bomb: "No sweat. Someone give me a drink and I'll slip her a chill pill."

Vaggie: "No."

Angel Dust: "NO!"

Niffty: "I could try giving her acupuncture!"

Angel Dust: "Cherri, we've TALKED about this-"

Husk: "You fucking know how?"

Cherri Bomb: "-don't be sucha stick in the mud, Angie."

Niffty: "You PUNCTURE!"

Angel Dust: "I ain't being a stick in the mud! You-"

Husk: "Unholy shit stop giggling and give me that fucking knife-"

Cherri Bomb: "Yeah, and I wasn't gonna get her royal highness high for real. Just something to take off the edge-"

Angel Dust: "She's got no history with that stuff! She'd be a KITE!"

Vaggie: "Someone hold my drink."

Husk: "-and where the fuck are YOU going?"

Vaggie: "Gonna go help my girlfriend."

Angel Dust: "Whoa whoa wait toots- ya supposed to be lying LOW here, Vagisaurus! Ex-exorcist bitch, remember? Lot's a people here who'd like to KILL ya???"

Vaggie: "If anyone's pissed enough to run up the dais steps and try murdering the princess of hell's partner right in front of her then they deserve to get at least one hit on me. You guys have fun, stick together, don't get killed."

Husk: "Take your own fucking advice-"

Angel Dust: "-aaaand she's took off, right in front of EVERYBODY oh that's just GREAT."

Niffty: "Alastor? Do you want her to die..?"

Alastor: "Right now, dearest? Well! If it helps our princess put on more of a royal bearing, then I fail to see why she shouldn't!"

Cherri Bomb: "Dude."

-

Charlie: "-eighty-three million ducks on the wall, eighty-three million duuucks... take one down.... pass it around..."

Charlie: "-don't think about how easy mom made this look don't think about her seeing you up here and wondering where she went wrong and maybe she did and that's why she left don't think about it don't think-"

Charlie: "... eighty-two million nine-hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine-hundred and ninety-nine ducks on the waaalllll-"

Vaggie: (swoops down) "Hey."

Charlie: "-oh thank HELL Vaggie! I was just getting-"

(gets smooched)

Charlie: "..."

Charlie: ".... hhh...hi..."

Vaggie: "This armrest taken?"

Charlie: "What armrest. Oh! The THRONE right um no I mean yes you can, or- or we could get you your own chair if you want-!"

Vaggie: "Thanks babe, this is good."

Charlie: "It's- it's close!"

Vaggie: "Nice being on eye level for once."

Charlie: "or kiss level."

Vaggie: "Hm?"

Charlie: "NO NOTHING. Ahem!" (using gf's thigh as armrest)

Charlie: "Sooo, how's the party going down there?"

Vaggie: "Typical. Niffty brought a knife."

Charlie: "A knife? Just one??"

Vaggie: "We'll see."

Charlie: "I... guess just a knife's not too bad-"

Vaggie: "Heavenly steel."

Charlie: "H- Did you confiscate-?"

Vaggie: "Husk's working on it. I had better things to do."

Charlie: "Oh." (drooping) "Better things right. Other things. Just checking in on me huh? Um, what is the other things that need doing?"

Vaggie: "Charlie."

Charlie: "Shoot did I forget something?"

Vaggie: "You didn't-"

Charlie: "Something IMPORTANT?"

Vaggie: "Sweetie, you're things."

Charlie: "My things??"

Vaggie: "The things are you."

Charlie: "I'M things? What things- OH I'M THE-"

Charlie: "-I'm the things that need doing."

Vaggie: "Do you?"

Charlie: "N-not in public!"

Vaggie: "Guess you'll have to wait, then."

Charlie: "..."

Charlie: "You know, these are the only times I ever wonder about you maybe being a liiiittle itty bit evil."

Vaggie: "Punishment to fit the sin, babe. I've been having to look at you all evening."

Charlie: "I was WONDERING why your wings were showing!"

Vaggie: "You bring it out in me."

Charlie: "HEHEHEHEH."

Vaggie: "So now we're just gonna have to suffer together for the rest of the night."

Charlie: "That phrasing isn't helping."

Vaggie: "You playing with the hem of my skirt isn't helping."

Charlie: "YOU'RE the one almost sitting on my LAP."

Vaggie: "Emphasis on almost."

Charlie: (sigh) "I wish you were sitting on my lap..."

Vaggie: "You're basically melting into mine now, so there's that."

Charlie: "Your fault." (pouts) "Evil temptress of cuddles denied."

Vaggie: "Hellishly cute seductress."

Charlie: "Distracting tease."

Vaggie: "Speaking of distracting, think the whole room's looking this way now."

Charlie: "Can't blame them. You're lovely, Vaggie."

Vaggie: "Charmer."

Charlie: "Beautiful~"

Random Sinner: (charges over) "Murdering EXORCIST! You-"

(FwooOOM HELLFIRE)

Demon Charlie: (SNARLS)

Random Sinner: "...."

Random Sinner: "..... your wings are.. very pretty."

Vaggie: "Thanks."

Demon Charlie: "ANY oThER WORDS?"

Random Sinner: "C-congratulations on the girlfriend, your highness!"

Charlie: (beaming) (sparkling) "Thank you!!"

Random Sinner: (slightly charred) (eases back into the crowd)

Vaggie: "...."

Charlie: "I know I know..." (huffs) "That was a bit-"

Vaggie: "Hot."

Charlie: "Oh hush." (smirks) (drapes herself over gf's lap again)

-

Alastor: "...Well!"

Angel Dust: "She sure ain't stiff anymore."

Alastor: "Quite so."

Husk: "She's fucking liquefying."

Alastor: "Hrmm..."

Angel Dust: "Liquid like lighter fluid. She ROASTED that guy."

Cherri Bomb: "Are we like, SURE no one slipped anything in her drink..?"

Niffty: "Do you see any DEAD BODIES around Vaggie!?"

Cherri Bomb: "Uh, no?"

Niffty: "Awww. Then no."

Husk: "My grip hasn't gone limp though- Niffty, stop trying to take back the fucking angel knife."

Niffty: "THERE AREN'T ANY CORPSES HERE AT LEAST LET ME HAVE THIS!!!"

Husk: "Fuck no! You'll make corpses!"

Niffty: "I KNOOOOW!!!"

Angel Dust: "Not tonight, Niff."

Niffty: (hanging limply off of knife handle) (sobbing)

Alastor: "Oh dearest don't CRY~" (pats niffty) "Come now- why don't we RELISH how the crowd shies back in FEAR from our DARLING hotel founder!"

Cherri Bomb: "Uhh, they might just be cringing back from all the glittery rainbows..?"

Niffty: (sniffling) "Cr- cringing's good..."

Husk: "She sure as fuck does look full of pride now."

Alastor: "Indeed! MOST satisfactory!"

Cherri Bomb: "Gay pride."

Angel Dust: "In her fucked up battle scarred heavenly wash out murder girlfriend who's giving her big soppy I'm-so-in-love looks."

Alastor: "Ah HA...! Close enough~"

[pedrospatch]

to do the right thing l part iii

Post Outbreak!Joel Miller x Pregnant! Female Reader

series masterlist

summary: You go into labor earlier than expected in the QZ; Joel and Tess help you deliver the baby; after giving birth, you and Joel follow through with a heartbreaking decision.

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. BOSTON QZ ERA. ((TW)) PREGNANCY, mentions and references to adoption. mentions of dead bodies, child death (not what you think), descriptions of childbirth. angst. soft, protective Joel.

word count: 7.9k

a/n: Please do not hate me. That is all. (:

June, 2020

 Disposing of the infected was a shity job.

But then again, most of the civilian jobs in the Boston QZ were pretty fucking shitty.

Still. This particular one had to be the absolute shittiest of the shitty.

Having to haul dozens upon dozens of dead bodies, the accidental inhale of soot and smoke even through your makeshift mask, not to mention, the nauseating smell of burning human flesh—you’d hated getting assigned to this work detail before, but now that you were only just a few weeks shy of being nine months pregnant, it felt like actual fucking hell on earth. And, to make matters even worse, Joel had been asked by one of the officials to head over to a different site and work a different job at the very last minute. He wasn’t by your side to lend you a hand like he usually did. Before being forced by authorities to leave the site, Joel instructed you to find a familiar face and do whatever you could do to get someone to help you when you needed it.

Luckily, on the other side of the open fire pit, you’d spotted Kevin. A younger man in his early twenties, you knew Kevin was something of an avid pill popper and one of Joel’s secret regulars. In exchange for a couple of oxycodone pills that you produced from the pockets of Joel’s jacket you were wearing, he had agreed to help you haul the heavier bodies and toss them in the fire pit.

“You know, you used to be real strong,” Kevin mused out loud as he took the shoulders of a heftier male body. Through a labored grunt, he continued, “You never needed anybody's help.”

You narrowed your eyes at him as you took the lower half of the body into your arms, taking subtle care not to strain yourself to the point of hurting yourself—or the baby. “Shut up and move, Kevin.”

“I’m just saying.”

“Seriously, Kevin,” You managed to say to him through gritted teeth as you helped him carry the body. “I’ll throw in another fucking pill if you just shut the fuck up, how about that?”

“Never used to be so cranky, either. Jesus, Miller’s really rubbing off on you, isn’t he?”

Ignoring him, you inhaled a deep breath, exhaling it as you two lifted the body and flung it into the pit. As you turned back towards the canopied pickup truck for the next one, your eyes fell on the tiniest little body that you had ever seen and you simply froze, a chill running up the length of your spine.

While it wasn’t the first time that you’d ever had to dump the body of an infected child, this one had to be the smallest—the youngest. Though his head had been covered with a brown, burlap sack just like the rest of the bodies, anyone with two fucking eyes and half of one brain cell could guess that he was, at most, around the age of a toddler.

“Jesus,” You whispered, noticing the dirty, bloodied white bandage around his teeny little arm. That’s where he’d been infected.

Kevin’s voice came from behind you. “Oh come on, this can’t be your first time seeing a kid, right?”

Your mouth had gone as dry as sandpaper. “I—I’ve never seen one this young,” You told him, feeling your heart sink into your stomach. “He couldn’t have been older than three or something.” Unable to fathom what had to come next, you turned to Kevin and shook your head. “I’ll need you to do this one. I just can’t.”

“Sure thing, sweet cheeks.” He raised an eyebrow and looked around before lowering his voice. “Just as long as you go back home tonight and let that guarddog boyfriend of yours know how much I helped you out, you know, since he wasn’t around to do it himself.” He paused, his beady, dark little eyes twinkling in sheer delight. “Maybe a two for the price of one discount during our next business transaction would be an appropriate way for him to show me some gratitude?”

If Joel could see the smirk on Kevin’s face, he’d knock it right off with his fist.

“Greedy motherfucker, aren’t you?” You muttered under your breath, before finally nodding your head in agreement. “Fine. I’ll make sure Joel hooks it up on your next deal.” Fat chance of that happening.

Satisfied, Kevin grinned and pushed past you, picking up the child’s body.

Unable to bring yourself to watch him toss it into the roaring flames, you hurriedly walked around to the side of the pickup truck, yanking down the red bandana you used as a mask down from over your nose and mouth. Placing a hand on the side of the truck, you hunched over and closed your eyes for a brief second. “Jesus Christ,” You groaned in a whisper to yourself. “I think I’m going to be fucking sick.”

You half expected to toss your afternoon crackers right there onto the pavement in front of you. However, instead, just a split second later, you felt a sudden cramp in the middle of your pelvis—subtle, but still enough to make you wince. It was immediately followed by a feeling of intense pressure between your legs. Before your mind could even wrap itself around what was happening, there was a gush between your thighs, and warm liquid started trickling down the sides of your legs.

Shit.

Terrified, you glanced down.

Though they were dirty, you could distinctly see the wet patches on your faded, dark blue jeans. “No, no, no. This can’t be happening. It’s too fucking early—”

“Hey! What the hell are you doing over here? Who the fuck said you could stop and take a break?” One of the FEDRA officials who had been assigned to stand guard at the work site came up behind you, his weapon gripped tightly in his hands. When you whirled around to face him, his eyes fell and instantly noticed your soaked jeans. A look of disgust crossed his face. “Jesus. Did you just fucking piss yourself?”

“No—” You stopped yourself, realizing this could be your ticket out of there. “Yeah,” You replied, nodding your head, causing him to let out a repulsed noise. “Sorry. I just saw a little kid, must have made me—”

He held up one of his hands, stopping you. “Save it. I don’t give two shits,” he told you with a shake of his head. “Get your ass home right now and change your clothes, then come back. Make it quick. There’s still a lot of work to be done around here. Understood?”

You nodded again. The muscles in your pelvic area tightened and the feeling drew the tiniest of sharp breaths from you—your contractions were starting. “Yeah,” You managed to say to the official, keeping a straight face. “I’ll be back as fast as I can.”

He dismissively waved you away with his weapon and then stalked off back over to his post.

Letting out a small sigh of relief, you turned on your heel and started to make your way back to the apartment as quickly as possible.

Although the building was about a mile and a half up the road, it felt like you were trekking your way across the fucking country. You felt two more contractions along the way, and while their intensity was still pretty low in such an early stage of your labor, they still hurt like hell. They started around your lower back and gradually moved around to the front of your pelvis. You tried to push past the discomfort in order to get home as quick as possible, but every now and again, you found yourself having to stop in the middle of the sidewalk for just a brief second or two, only long enough to recollect and remind yourself that you needed to get a goddamn grip before someone noticed your strange behavior. Once the building finally came into your view, all you could do was silently pray that by some fucking miracle, Joel would be up there in that apartment, home from work detail.

Your prayer went unanswered.

When you opened the door to your quarters and walked inside, you’d found Tess home by herself. She was sitting at the table, sipping on a glass of whiskey and mindlessly flipping through a decades old newspaper.

“Tess,” You said her name, causing her to look up. “Where’s Joel?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“It’s fucking happening.”

Tess stared at you, her eyes widening slightly. “Wait, what?”

“The baby’s coming,” You informed her, pointing down to your damp jeans. Though you were panicking on the inside, you tried your best to remain as calm as humanly possible. “Where the fuck is Joel?”

Tess tossed aside her newspaper and stood up from the table. “I told you, I don’t know. I know he was reassigned but I’m not sure where—he sure as hell wasn’t with me.” She walked over to you, taking you by the elbow. She pulled you over towards the couch and helped you sit down. “I thought you said it would be at least a few more weeks before the baby came.”

You couldn’t help but shoot her an annoyed look. “Well, he’s coming now, Tess. And there’s nothing I can do to stop it.”

“How long ago did it start?”

“About half an hour ago, maybe. I was at the pits and my water broke after I saw—” You trailed off, deciding the details of what you had seen back at the work site weren’t necessary to disclose to her. “I’ve had a couple of contractions, but they’re pretty far apart.”

“It could be several hours before the baby comes, but there’s still no fucking way that we’ll be able to get you over to Bill and Frank’s in time.” Tess chewed anxiously on her bottom lip as she wracked her brain for any other possible options—it took her mere seconds to realize that there weren’t any other options. “You’re going to have to give birth here.”

“Fantastic,” You deadpanned, leaning back into the couch.

“Okay, here’s the deal. You stay put and I’m going to go out and find Joel. I know there’s a couple of places where he might have been assigned and if I’m right, I can be back with him quickly.” Tess pulled off her watch from her wrist. It was old and cracked, but otherwise, it still worked fine. “I need you to time your contractions. Try and be as accurate as possible.” She then reached into the back pocket of her jeans, producing a red handkerchief.  She handed it to you along with the watch. “Listen. I know it’s going to hurt like hell, but you need to be as quiet as possible. Last thing we need is for someone to hear you and come running in here, especially while I’m gone. If you need to, you bite down on this to keep quiet, alright?”

You swallowed harshly, taking both of the items with nearly trembling fingers. “Alright.”

“Don’t worry. I’m going to find Joel and we’ll be back,” she promised you. “You stay right here, okay?”

“Because I’m such a fucking flight risk right now?”

“Even during labor, you’re still a fucking smartass, huh?” Tess rolled her eyes and reached for her jacket. 

You watched her as she readied herself to take off. “Tess?”

“Yeah?”

“Hurry. Please.”

“Fuck,” You hissed, both of your hands planted on your lower back as you paced back and forth in the kitchen, trying your best to breathe your way through another contraction.

 It had been over an hour and a half and Tess still hadn’t returned with Joel.

Your labor was progressing a lot quicker than you’d anticipated and while it could still be at least a couple more hours before the baby was born, you were still terrified at the mere thought of having to deliver him alone. You needed Joel—you didn’t want to have to do this without him.

“Jesus, fuck,” You cursed through clenched teeth. The waves of pain that were coming at you were almost enough to physically knock you off of your feet and right onto your ass. Tess had been smart to give you her handkerchief. During one particularly painful contraction, you’d shoved it into your mouth, muffling your cries of agony.

Another hour had passed and you were genuinely starting to believe that you were indeed going to have to give birth to the baby all alone in that apartment. “Where the fuck are you guys?” You mumbled to yourself. Perhaps something had happened to them—Joel and Tess had spent ample amounts of time in FEDRA lockup for the stunts that they pulled and it wouldn’t surprise you if they had gone and done something stupid, putting themselves behind bars for the night.

In an attempt to keep your mind from continuously wandering to worst case scenarios, you walked over to the kitchen sink and quickly filled up a large, chipped porcelain bowl with water. You rummaged around for the cleanest washcloth that you could find and then picked up the bowl in your hands, taking care not to spill as you hastily made your way around the single wall that divided the kitchen from the bedroom. You placed the bowl of water on top of the old, cherrywood dresser that separated yours and Joel’s bed from Tess’s bed and immediately started peeling off your dirty clothes. Wanting to hurry before another contraction came along, you dipped the cloth into the water and started running it all over your body, wiping away any soot and dirt that you’d brought home from the work site.

After you had finished cleaning yourself off as best as you possibly could under the circumstances, you searched through the drawers and grabbed one of Joel’s cleaner t-shirts, tugging it over your head. Even with the size of your swollen midsection, his shirt still fit you loosely enough, the hem of it falling to the top of your thighs. You’d finished just in time—another contraction starting coming on and you dropped down onto the bed, gripping the edge of the mattress as you hunched over in a world of hurt. “Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

As it subsided, the sound of the front door opening caused your head to snap up and your heart to skip a beat. Had you been too loud? Or perhaps a neighbor had walked by and heard you?

“Baby?” Joel’s deep voice filled the small apartment. When he appeared around the wall and saw you, a look of utter relief crossed his face and he rushed over to you, Tess following behind him. He crouched down in front of you, both of his hands flying up to the sides of your face. “M’sorry darlin’, I got here as fast I could—”

Though you could have nearly cried from happiness that he was right there in front of you, you found yourself snapping at him, “What took you so fucking long? It’s been fucking hours!”

Tess jumped to Joel’s defense. “I’m sorry, it’s on me! It’s my fault. It took me forever just to fucking find his ass and then we had to find a way to sneak him away from the work site without anyone noticing,��� she explained, holding her hands up. “Not to mention, he was on the other end of the fucking QZ. We got here as fast as we could—how far apart are they coming?”

You winced. The truth was, you’d been so busy trying to get through the contractions that you hadn’t been timing them at all. “About that.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? I gave you one fucking job—”

“Look, they’re still decently far apart by a few minutes.” You placed a hand on your stomach, suddenly admitting, “But I do feel the urge to push already.”

Joel’s hands slowly dropped from your face and he glanced over his shoulder and up at Tess, looking confused. “Think it’s time?”

She shook her head. “I know it’s going to feel like you need to push as you get closer, but don’t,” she warned you, firmly. “Not yet. They need to come closer together, about a minute to thirty seconds apart. If you start to push too early, you could hurt the baby. Or tear yourself apart.” Tess took off her jacket, tossing it on a nearby chair. “Joel, keep her as comfortable as you can. I’m going to start gathering some supplies. She may not be ready to push now, but I’m thinking within the hour, it’ll be time.”

“Within the hour?” You nearly squeaked.

Joel turned back to you and cupped your face again. The familiarity of his rough, calloused hands on your skin brought some calmness, not enough to completely take your fears away, but just enough that you were able to stay somewhat level headed, even through every single emotion that you were feeling. “Baby, I know you're scared,” he said, his thumb grazing against your cheek. “But I promise you, everythin’ is gonna be just fine, alright? Look at me, right here, look at me,” he urged as he held your face firmly in his hands, forcing you to meet his gaze. “You’re gonna be fine. I won’t let anythin’ happen to you.”

“Joel, it’s childbirth,” You reminded him, smiling wearily. “Don’t make a promise you don’t know if you can actually keep.”

Though he knew deep down inside that you had a point, he repeated himself. “I won’t let anythin’ happen to you. Okay?”

You offered him a small, meek nod. “Okay.”

Joel lifted himself, pressing his lips gently to yours. He pulled away, murmuring against your lips, “That’s my girl.”

The hour that followed had been nothing short of horrific—the pain had become almost unbearable by this point. There wasn’t a single inch of your entire body that wasn’t drenched, soaked in perspiration. Your hair was an absolute mess, plastered to your forehead and to the sides of your face. Tess sat on her bed, waiting on standby for when it was time to deliver. Meanwhile, Joel, could only hold your hand in his and watch helplessly as you tried not to cry out too loudly.

“Joel,” You nearly pleaded his name, as if pleading for him to take his gun and put you out of your misery.

“I know, baby, I know,” he murmured soothingly, squeezing your hand in both of his. “I know it hurts.”

“What if I can’t do this?”

“Sorry, sweet darlin’ but you don’t have much of a choice,” he reminded you. He looked and sounded so fucking tired, so fucking exhausted—and he was. He was exhausted from having to sit there and witness you hurt while there wasn’t a goddamn thing he could do about it.

Once the contractions started coming in at less than a minute apart, Tess checked you. “I can feel the head. It’s time to start pushing,” she announced. Rolling up the sleeves of her shirt up to her elbows, she started giving you instructions. “You’re going to bear all the way down into your bottom as hard as you can. We’ll do ten second counts with short, quick rests in between each push until he comes out. Alright?”

You just about panicked. “Joel—”

“M’right here,” he quickly assured you. “Not goin’ anywhere.”

During the process, Joel had decided to sit behind you, his long legs on either side of you as he held you up at just a couple degrees shy of a ninety degree angle. Tess kneeled on the mattress between your legs, holding your knees apart as she counted through each push out loud for you.

You sank your front teeth hard into your bottom lip, the coppery taste of blood filling your mouth as you tried your hardest from screaming out.

“One, two, three, four—” Tess counted the numbers aloud until she reached the number ten. She watched you as you released a breath, and tapped your knee gently. “Come on, we’re almost there. He’s right there, you’re so fucking close. The harder you push, the quicker this will all be over. So give me one more big, strong push, alright?”

Joel squeezed your shoulders, his lips at your ear as he whispered to you over and over again, “C’mon baby, we’re almost there. It’s almost over.”

You were completely spent, exhausted both physically and mentally beyond what mere words could even explain. Close or not, you simply didn’t have it in you to keep going.

“I’m sorry, I can’t,” You moaned, shaking your head as you slumped back against his chest, your head falling into his shoulder. Your body felt like it was just moments away from giving out on you. “I can’t do it, Joel. I just can’t fucking do this—”

“You can and you fucking will,” Tess all but snapped at you, forcing your knees further apart. “Come on, all I need is one more push. Just one fucking more.”

“But—”

“Baby, please,” Joel begged into your neck. “You have to do this.”

You whimpered. They were right—you didn’t have a choice.

“Okay. One more.” You gave a small, weak nod of your head.

Joel helped you sit back up into the previous position, using his body to help support yours. He kissed the back of your head, his hands on your shoulders again. “Good girl,” he praised, bracing himself to help you through the tail end of the delivery.

“Alright, let’s do this.” Tess positioned herself, her hands ready to receive the baby once he was born. “On the count of three. One, two, three—and push. Come on, that’s it. Come on.” Squeezing your eyes shut, you followed her encouraging words, bearing down as hard as you could muster while Joel counted you through that last strenuous push. “Baby’s out!” Tess nearly cried, and you quickly opened your eyes to see her holding the baby in her arms. 

“Is he okay?” You panted, your chest heaving as you fought to catch your breath. Only mere seconds had passed, but already you found yourself in a state of anxiety over the fact that the baby hadn’t made a single sound yet. “He hasn’t cried—why hasn’t he cried?”

“She,” Tess corrected you, her eyes fixed on the newborn as she worked to clean her off with a damp washcloth. She rubbed her chest in quick, firm circles in an attempt to get her to take her first breath.

Your heart skipped a beat—you’d had a girl?

Behind you, Joel inhaled sharply, his body stiffening.

You watched in concern, your lips parted slightly at the sight before you. Not having the proper tools to clear the child’s airway, Tess tried everything and anything that she could think of to help the baby breathe. As the seconds turned into a minute, and then into two, your heart had all but climbed its way up your throat—never had you heard a silence so deafening.

“Tess,” Joel said her name, his tone dangerously low.

“Fuck Joel, I’m trying here!” Tess snapped at him. She let out a small, frustrated sigh and then turned the baby over onto her forearm. She started patting the infant’s back with her opposite hand. “Come on, sweetheart. Come on, you’re alright. Please breathe. Please—”

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the baby sputtered and let out a wet cough before a small, quick cry filled the entire apartment. 

“Fuck,” You breathed out in complete and utter relief. You sagged back against Joel, who’d also released the breath he’d been holding.

“Shh,” Tess soothed her, flipping the baby back over and bouncing her in her arms in an attempt to quiet her.  

Joel carefully climbed out from behind you, helping you to lean back, up against the wall. “You alright?”

“Better now that I know she’s okay.”

“She’s small, definitely at least a couple of weeks premature, but she looks healthy,” Tess observed. She single handedly clamped the cord, cutting it with a pair of sharp shears before she finished cleaning her off. She reached for the flannel throw blanket next to her, however upon picking it up, she had realized it wasn’t a blanket at all. It was Joel’s flannel jacket, the very same one that you’d worn for most of your pregnancy. But it had been washed the day before and it would do for the time being. Tess wrapped the baby in the jacket before easing her into your arms. Knowing that you’d never held a baby before, Tess reached out and maneuvered your arms, making sure that you were holding her properly, supporting her head and neck. “That’s it. There you go.”

Your heart swelled to twice its normal size inside of your chest and an inexplicable warmth radiated throughout every fiber of your being the moment you laid your eyes on her sweet, tiny little face. “Hi, there,” You cooed gently to her. “Welcome to the shitshow.”

Tess chuckled, crossing her arms over her chest. “Son of a bitch. We fucking did it.”

“What the hell do you mean we?” You rolled your eyes in a joking manner. The truth of the matter was that you would forever be in her debt for all that she had done to help you, not just through childbirth—through everything. 

You then glanced over at Joel, who stood silently behind her, hands planted on his hips.

He said nothing, but his dark brown eyes were glued to the newborn.

Tess cleared her throat lightly, breaking the momentary silence that had suddenly fallen over the three of you. “I’ll give you a minute to take a breather while I go clean myself up. I’ll be back to show you how to feed her.”

She excused herself, heading off towards the kitchen.

Joel shuffled awkwardly from foot to foot. “You—uh, you sure you’re alright?”

“Mhm,” You replied with a nod, unable to contain the small smile that crossed your lips as you drank in the sight of the beautiful baby girl in your arms. She had been born with a head full of dark hair—instantly, she reminded you of Joel. “She’s so little.”

Joel said nothing.

Looking up, you noticed the way his eyes took her in—the same way yours did. 

Part of you almost wanted to ask him if he wanted to hold her.

But you knew better.

“We’ll radio Bill and Frank tomorrow in the morning to let them know she’s here ,” Tess said, coming back into the room. She used a damp cloth to wipe away the blood and other fluids from her forearms. “As soon as you’re able to move, you’ll have to get her over to them.”

Your face fell slightly. “Wait, how soon are we talking?”

“Thinking maybe in a couple days—soon as you can walk.”

Your heart sank deeply into your chest.

Just a couple of days? 

That’s all you would get with her?

Noticing the crestfallen expression on your face, Joel nodded. “Tess is right,” he agreed. “We can’t hide a cryin’ baby in this apartment for too long without someone catchin’ on. The sooner we get her over to Bill and Frank’s, the better.”

You somehow managed to swallow the lump of emotion that had risen in your throat as you looked back down at her tiny face—your daughter’s tiny face.

“Think of a name for her yet?” Tess asked you, tossing her dirty cloth aside.

Joel quickly stepped in and answered for you. “Best you don’t.”

“What?” You stared at him in disbelief. Although neither of you had discussed it, you’d thought that at the very least Joel would allow you to name your child—his child.

“The less attached you are to her, the better.” His tone was short, almost curt. “Less harder it’ll be.”

Even Tess was taken by surprise. “Joel, come on. Are you fucking seri—?”

He held up a hand to stop her. Whirling around on the hell of his boot, Joel said over his shoulder as he left the room, “I’ll be outside. Need some air.”

Your lips pressed together in a thin, tight line. “I guess he’s right.”

The mattress squeaked, shifting slightly as Tess took a seat right next to you on the bed. “You know it’s going to hurt him too,” she told you, quietly. “He’ll never admit it. But when the time comes, it’ll hurt him too.”

“I know,” You whispered, grazing the baby’s cheek lightly with the tip of your index finger.

“Joel loves you, you know.”

Tess’s words caught you by surprise. “Tess—don’t. You don’t need to do this.”

She laughed in spite of herself. “You know, I never thought that man could be capable of loving anyone else ever again, not in this life. Hell, I tried for fucking years just to get him to feel a fraction of what I felt for him and nothing.” Her voice became thick with the emotions that she’d undoubtedly been suppressing for the last few years. “I don’t know what is about you, what drew him to you. But he does love you. More than fucking anything.”

“He’ll probably never admit that either.”

Tess smiled sadly. “I know.”

The five hour trip on foot from the Boston QZ to Lincoln was one that you had gotten used to over the last couple of years, but this trip had been something of a struggle for you, to say the very least.

Between being only a couple of days postpartum, having to make frequent stops to feed the baby, and having her strapped tightly to your chest in a makeshift baby carrier—which in reality was actually just a bedsheet that wrapped around your upper body—you felt quite worn out by the time you and Joel finally made it to Bill and Frank’s.

“Come in, come in,” Frank placed a hand gently on your back as he ushered you inside of the house. “How are you doing? Are you okay?” He tossed a little glare over his shoulder at Joel. “Shame on you for making her walk three days after giving birth! Surely you could have waited at least a few more days before making the trip?”

Joel let out a small, impatient huff and rolled his eyes in response.

“We didn’t wanna risk being caught with her,” You quickly explained as he led you both into the living room. “Our walls are paper thin and she cries real loud. We didn’t wanna risk having the neighbors reporting us to FEDRA.”

“She’s a crier?” Bill, who kept his distance, scoffed. “Great.”

“Oh, stop it, Bill. I’m sure she’ll be a very good baby,” Frank waved his hand dismissively at him. 

“Can you guys help me unwrap?” You asked, lightly tugging at the sheet. “This thing is so uncomfortable.”

Both Joel and Frank helped untie and remove it from around your body.

“Oh my word.” Frank’s hand flew to his mouth and tears instantly welled in his eyes as soon as saw her. “I never thought I’d see—” He trailed off, but you knew what he meant. He never thought he’d see another child ever again, much less a newborn baby. Frank knew better than to overstep or to push you too quickly, and despite his immediate urge to ask you if he could hold her already, he simply settled for lightly touching his fingertips to her tufts of soft, dark hair. “Oh, she’s so beautiful! Isn’t she beautiful, Bill?”

“Looks like an ordinary baby to me,” he grumbled, though as he eyed the child, there was a strange little glint in his eye. Bill, like Frank, also never thought that he’d ever see something like her again.

Frank sniffed, dabbing his tears away with the back of his hand. “Oh! I have some onesies from the boutique, let me grab one for you,” he stated, realizing that the baby was naked, with the exception of the improvised diaper you had her in. “She’s kind of small, even for a newborn. Do you think she came early?” He asked over his shoulder as he walked over to the other side of the room towards a pile of cardboard boxes. “I know it’s hard to tell what week you reached gestation.”

“We think so,” You said, carefully taking a seat on the couch. “She’s small, but she’s healthy. She eats well, she mostly sleeps through the night unless she wakes up hungry or needing to be changed.”

“Here.” Frank walked back over to you and handed you a cream colored onesie printed with yellow sunflowers. He also handed you a matching cloth diaper. “They’re preemie size, but I have a box of newborn sizes too if they’re too snug on her. You let me know what you think is best, alright?”

It didn’t take you very long to realize that Frank was allowing you just a taste of what it was like to properly and normally care for your baby, just like any mother would in a pre-outbreak world. 

Part of you wished that he wouldn’t bother, but you still appreciated his kindness nonetheless.

Frank laid a soft, pink blanket on the couch for you to lay her on.

As you changed her, you felt Joel watching almost intently.

Since she’d been born, he still hadn’t held her. You didn’t take offense to it, nor did it hurt your feelings that he refused to touch her, because you knew how he was feeling—what he was feeling. You would often catch him stealing long, lingering glances at her whenever he’d think you weren’t paying attention. Deep down in your heart, you knew he ached to interact with her, that he wanted nothing more than to take her into his arms and give into his paternal instincts. But he was simply trying to make this process as painless for himself as possible. Joel didn’t want to risk developing any kind of attachment to her. 

“Does she have a name?” Frank asked, holding his hands behind his back as he watched you button up the onesie. At this point, he was itching to hold her for the first time, but he wanted to respect what little time you had left to interact with her.

Sure, you would be able to see her every now and again, but Joel was adamant of keeping visits to a minimum.

“She doesn’t,” You replied in a soft voice. “We didn’t name her.”

Joel, who had taken a seat in the rocking chair next to the couch, raked a hand through his hair as Frank shot him glare, as if he knew whose idea it had been to not give her a name. “S’only right for you two to choose a name. We ain’t got no business givin’ her a name.”

“He’s right,” You said, before Frank could protest. “It’s best we leave that to you and Bill.”

Frank touched your shoulder. The sympathy in his eyes nearly made you burst into tears on the spot. Wanting to allow for a brief change of subject, he offered, “How about we all have a bite to eat? Hmm? Surely you must be starving after that long walk.”

You forced a small smile. Food was the last thing on your mind. “That would be nice,” you fibbed. 

For the rest of the afternoon, you refused to put the baby down.

Your arms ached from holding her for so long—but you couldn’t care less. It was one ache that you would happily deal with for the rest of your natural born life if it meant never having to let her go.

Frank had been completely understanding of your desire to keep her with you for as long as you possibly could. Being the incredibly sweet, kind soul that he was, he showed you nothing but patience and didn’t question you, nor did he push you or grill you on whether or not you had changed your mind about leaving her in their care. Bill, being Bill, had muttered a few, passive aggressive incoherencies towards you under his breath over lunch—something about how for someone who claimed they wouldn’t have a problem giving up their baby, you sure as hell seemed to have a hard time letting her out of your grasp.

However, once the late afternoon finally rolled around, you knew that the time for you to say goodbye was on the horizon. As much as you fucking wished you could, there was no changing your mind, not if you wanted your daughter to live safely, happily.

“Bill? Frank? Do you think we can have a minute with her, just the two of us?” You asked them. You had all moved back into the living room after lunch. Knowing time was running out, you hoped that you and Joel could have one last moment alone with her before it was time to leave.

“Of course.” Frank nodded and tugged on Bill’s arm. “We’ll be out in the front yard—the plants need some watering.”

You shot him a tiny, grateful smile. As they disappeared, you leaned back into the couch and made yourself comfortable with the baby.

Joel, who sat over in the rocking chair as he had earlier, pursed his lips. “Don’t make this harder than it needs to be,” he said, shaking his head at you. “We really should just hand her over and go home.”

“It’s going to be hard no matter what, Joel. May as well enjoy her for a while longer.” You glanced down at her just as she started fussing herself awake. She looked up at you with her dark eyes. “Hello, sweet girl,” You greeted her in a soothing voice as she cooed. 

Joel watched with a heaviness in his heart as you kissed the infant’s cheek delicately. How he wished you would just fucking listen to him.

“You’re going to be safe here,” You told her, lifting your hand to her hair; the ends were beginning to curl slightly. “I know you might grow up and have questions one day, and who knows, maybe when you’re all grown up, you’ll know the truth about everything and you’ll understand why we did what we did.” You paused. “This is the right thing to do, sweet girl. It's the best thing for you. Frank is going to make a great dad, and Bill—well, Bill is Bill. But I know you’ll have him wrapped around your little finger in no time. I promise there’s a softie underneath that grumpy exterior, just have to bring it out of him, is all.” Despite it all, you couldn’t help but laugh a little. 

Joel craned his neck ever so slightly to get a better look at her. “She’s so alert,” he observed. “Y’know, for bein’ a couple days old and all.”

You glanced up at him. Somehow, you mustered up the courage to ask, “Joel? Do you want to hold her?”

Joel hesitated. But you were shocked he didn’t immediately decline.

That meant that he did.

You carefully stood up from the couch and slowly walked over to him. Giving her another kiss on the cheek, you held her out towards him.

Joel looked at her reluctantly, but then gave in and took her into his arms. He leaned his weight back into the chair and started rocking, knowing the movement would be soothing for the baby. “She’s got your nose,” he murmured, watching as the motion started luring her into another slumber.

“That head of hair is all you, though,” You told him with a tiny, sad smile. “I’m going to go get a glass of water from the kitchen. I’ll be right back.”

Moments later, when you’d returned, you stopped in your tracks out in the hallway when you heard Joel speaking. Furrowing your brows, you leaned your back against the wall and listened in to what he was saying.

“Hi babygirl,” he started, his voice low but gentle. “Everythin’ your mama just told you, well, she’s right. We’re doin’ this to keep you safe. We wanna give you a chance at a decent life. She doesn’t wanna give you up. Neither do I,” he confessed. “But we can’t—I can’t keep you safe. I can barely keep your mama safe most of the time, y’know.”

You hung your head, willing yourself to hold back the tears.

“I didn’t want you, at least not at first,” Joel continued to say, an ever so slight tremble to his voice. “Thought you were the biggest mistake we ever could’ve made. But now that you’re here and I’m holdin’ you in my arms, I realize I was wrong. I’m glad you’re here, babygirl. This world is ugly, but you remind me that there’s still beauty in it. Not a whole lot, but just enough to shine a little light in the darkness.”

Joel paused and as you peeked around into the living room, you saw him press his lips carefully to her cheek, right where you’d kissed her too. “You won’t be ours after today, but that doesn’t really matter. At the end of the day, you’re always gonna hold a place in my heart. Right next to your big sister. Alright?”

A tear slipped down your cheek, and you quickly wiped it away with the back of your free hand. As soon as you were certain that he’d said all he had needed to say, you walked into the living room and offered him a sip of your water, behaving as if you hadn’t just heard him pour his heart out to his baby daughter. Joel moved over onto the couch with you and for the next couple of hours, the two of you took turns holding her. By the time early evening arrived, you realized that you and Joel were really pushing it. And knowing Bill, you were absolutely overstaying your welcome.

“So, we just wanted to check in with you two,” Frank said tentatively, nervously wringing his hands together as walked into the room with a very unhappy Bill trailing behind him. “It’ll be getting dark soon.”

You and Joel stood from the couch; he handed the baby over to you.

Your heart lodged in your throat, you walked over to Frank and eased her into his arms. “Here you are.”

Taking a step backwards, you watched as he looked down at her, his face beaming.

“Fatherhood looks good on you,” You couldn’t help but tell him. And you meant it.

Frank was going to make the most incredible, loving father. 

“Does it?” Although he was smiling, he sounded nervous.

“You’re going to be a natural,” You touched his arm lightly. “We know she’s going to be in the best possible care.” Dropping your hand back down to your side, you glanced over at Joel, who stood there silently, his jaw clenched. “We’d better be going.”

“You know you’re more than welcome to come and see her whenever you’d like,” Frank offered. “We really wouldn’t mind that.”

“Don’t take that too literally,” Bill gruffed behind him. “The less visits, the better.”

You nodded, your voice cracking slightly as you said, “We know.”

“Let’s get a move on.” Joel nudged you lightly with his elbow. Did you just hear his voice break a little too?

After one final goodbye, about five minutes later, you and Joel found yourselves on the other side of the fence.

Joel noticed the expression on your face. He could see you crumbling right in front of his very own eyes like a pastry. He didn’t know what to say or do to make it better—hell, he knew nothing was going to make it better. He wanted so badly to reach out and put his arms around you, but he was afraid that one touch would cause you to come undone. “C’mon, we need to get movin’ before it gets too late or we’ll freeze our asses off,” he reminded you quietly. He started leading the way, but turned around when he realized you weren’t following behind him. “Baby—”

And just like that, the sob you’d been fighting finally escaped you.

“I’m sorry, Joel,” You quickly shook your head, trying desperately to stop the tears, but it was too late.

“Don’t be sorry, it’s alright—”

Before Joel could reach out for you, you sank down to your knees on the gravel. You placed your hands over your mouth, trying to muffle the sound of your cries. You knew it would be hard, but nothing could have prepared you for the god awful feeling of leaving Bill and Frank’s empty handed, without your baby daughter in your arms.

Joel sighed softly and crouched down beside you, pulling you into his arms. “Shh, baby. I know,” he tried soothing you, one hand around your shoulders and the other gingerly stroking your hair. “I know.”

Though nightfall was fast approaching, he didn’t push you. He simply held you until you eventually ran out of tears and little hiccups were all that was left. “I’m so sorry.”

“Stop fuckin’ sayin’ you’re sorry,” Joel said, squeezing your body against his to keep you warm against the chilly, evening breeze. “You have nothin’ to be sorry for, alright?”

“It hurts. I know we did the right thing, but it hurts so fucking bad.”

Joel pulled away and looked down at you. The sadness was evident in his gaze. “We did do the right thing. She’s going to be safer here than she could ever be with us in the QZ,” he reminded you, as if you didn’t already know that. “At least here, she’ll be well fed. She’ll have running water. She’ll get to enjoy fresh, clean air. She’ll get to run around the front yard and play in the grass. She won’t have to walk home from fuckin’ FEDRA school past a fire pit full of burnin’ bodies every goddamn day.”

“Maybe it’s just me being selfish, but that doesn’t make it hurt any fucking less, Joel,” You confessed, the guilt causing a fresh batch of tears to brim your eyes. “I know we’ll still get the chance to see her every now and again, but it’s not enough. It won’t ever be enough for me.”

He leaned down, leaning his forehead against yours. “I know. Won’t ever be enough for me either.”

You closed your eyes, another tear finding its way down your cheek. “How the fuck are you supposed to go on when you feel like a part of your heart is missing?”

“You just do,” Joel whispered. “You just move on. Try to, anyway.” He rose to his feet and pulled you up with him. “When I lost Sarah, I had nothing. Nobody. Tommy wasn’t someone I could count on, he was too busy thinkin’ he could save the fuckin’ world.” He chuckled bitterly. “So I carried that grief with me for years, all on my own. Like the weight of a thousand bricks strapped to my fuckin’ back.”

“Joel…” You opened your eyes, your gazes meeting together.

He lightly brushed his lips against forehead. “You ain’t alone, darlin’. You have me and I ain’t gonna let you carry this pain alone. You understand me? Never.”

“I know that,” You choked out. 

Joel pulled you against him once again, his arms wrapping themselves around you. 

“I love you.”

It was just above a whisper, barely audible but you’d heard him.

Clutching fistfuls of his jacket, you buried your face into his chest, uttering, “I love you too.”

[callmearcturus]

what erik needs is fucking adderall

based on the idea punct and I keep kicking around that bc Peter is clearly ADHD as fuck, Erik is too but he's never been medicated so he's just so fucking high-functioning he's like a neurotic clock that has ground all of his reactions down and has his shit on lockdown. so then what if he finally gets medication?

Peter, in his cast after XMA: Oh yeah can someone run into town to pick up my good good drugs? Cause my leg. Charles: Drugs? Ah, the-- yes, I'll ask Hank. Erik, curious: Drugs? Peter: Hard drugs. Fuckin' speed, my man. Charles: It's not-- it's. Dextroamphetamine besalt, not-- Peter: Amphetamine is in the name! Erik: He's on amphetamine? For his mutation? Peter: Nah, nah, I got the distraction thing. Serotonin and stuff. Charles: Oh for god's-- it's… what is it (reads Erik) ah, Aufmerksamkeits-Defizit-Hyperaktivitäts-Syndrom? Erik: I see you're pronunciation is still dreadful. ADHS, hm?

Charles, looking between Erik and Peter: Hm. Peter, lifting his eyebrows, looking at Erik, then back at Charles: I mean. No, no way. Charles: It does tend to be, ah. patrilineal, is the thing. Erik: What does? Peter: But he's Jewish, isn't that matrilineal? It's a whole thing. Charles: That-- it doesn't mean genetics work differently-- (outraged noises) Erik: What about my mother? You're talking around me. Charles: It'd just be… interesting to see. I'll have Jean go along with Hank and… suggest an extra refill. He has many of the signs for late stage diagnosis. Erik: Glauben Sie, dass ich ADHS habe? Charles: (hums non-committally)

(later) Peter: what if it kills him Erik, laying on medical bed: I'd be very annoyed, personally. I have survived quite a few impressively fatal incidents. Peter: Oh yeah like the nazis. Charles, full Professor Mode: Yes, thank you, Peter. And we have a full stock of dopamine antagonists and nitroglycerin in case he has a bad reaction. It'd be terribly poor form for me to kill your newly-discovered father so soon in your reconciliation. Erik: That lab rat feeling is returning… Perhaps I'll see if Jean needs help with the roof. Charles: No. Swallow this pill. Erik, giving a severe look: If you really decided to finally end our truce, you would do better than poisoning me, correct? Charles: I would never insult you with something so underhanded. Hell, it wouldn't be dramatic enough for me either, I'd be… Peter: … Blue-balled? Charles: Take the bloody meds, Erik.

(TWENTY MINUTES LATER) Charles, to Peter: Is he all right? Peter: Huh, yeah. Yanno sometimes I forget to pick up my refill right so I gotta go some days without it or I ration, so when I take it again, I gotta get over the sleepy. Charles: The 'sleepy'. It's speed. Peter: I know! It's so weird. It chills you out. It's better than weed honestly. I mean uh. Not that I've ever done weed. Charles: Oh please, Peter, I've rolled a few joints in my time. Peter: Huh. Cool. So is there a good dealer around here? Charles, out loud: Erik? Erik, eyes closed, breathing slowly: Yes, Charles? Charles: You don't seem to be having a hypertensive episode. Erik: No. (reaches out a hand, flicks off the lights with his power) You can go back to speaking telepathically. It's quieter.

that's all i got, i gotta sleep

[petew21-blog]

Just a party

Another inbox story: I loved your Andrew Garfield and Tom Holland story! Would you be able to do a Robert Downey Jr and Chris Evans body swap?

Chris:"Tell me again Downey, why did I voluntarily swap bodies with you?"

Robert:"Cause everybody took the pill and there is a swingers party that will follow. You just have to prove you have been swapped for the past 5 hours or you won't be let inside. They say it helps them from body thiefs."

Chris:"Why do we even wanna go to swingers. If it were on me I'd just suck my cock right here and now and then swapped back. I don't need some rando in even more random body sucking your cock. Even if it gives me pleasure."

Robert:"Dude, just... be chill. Ok? We leave in 30 minutes. Just stay and wait for me. My body has a fabulous look, but right now I have to take care if this things you gave me and call a face."

Chris:"Oh, fuck off. I'm way more sexy than you are and you know it!"

They left for the party. Everybody had to leave their belongings at the entrance and stay in only their underwear.

The hunky bodybuilder called out:"Good evening everyone. it is my honour to start this evening by choosing our first pair. You all have been given one even and one odd number to the pair you came here with. This way is to make sure that you don't end up having sex with your body. Even though I know many of you already have done that before arriving. Without further ado. The first pair is number 17 and 21. Please enjoy the room number 7.

Robert:"Here I go. That's me. Wish me luck for someone hot"

Chris:"Yeah, hope you don't get some std"

Then the man took out another two numbers. "Number 4 and 18. Enjoy your room number 8."

I followed the same way Robert left. I just hope the person that comes inside here will be hot atleast. I know that last year some people ran away. I opened the door. And there he was, already witing for me

Paul's body:"Hey, Ironman. What a funny coincidence. Wanna check out my enlarging device?"

Chris:"Hey, who are you really?"

Paul's body:"We're not suppose to say until we finish, remember? Now come here and show me what is that body made of really"

Oh man. I wonder how Robert is doing in my body nextdoor.

Meanwhile Robert was enjoying a blow job from the mouth of Chris Hemsworth

What a night

Part 2:

[sunflowersandsapphires]

Injured HCs

The lovely @mattkinsella asked me to write more HCs about how the boys react when you’re injured! (And I included small thing about them being injured too tee hee)

Frank:

When he’s injured, he will hide it. Same with being sick. He’s worked through worse, there’s no reason to get upset about it. 

He trusts you to stitch him up tho, and that means a lot. 

Matt

Doesn’t necessarily try to hide it, but will not stop to rest. Might ask you for help meditating. Accepts coddling, but will get defensive if you ask him to rest. 

Mikey

Not a drama queen, but much less averse to resting than the other two. Like in my illness HCs, I think he would be perfectly content letting you take the reigns and leaning into his time off. Adores that he has someone there to help him. 

Frank

If you’re injured? Oh boy. 

Very demanding. Leaves no room for argument. (Just hands you stuff, doesn’t even ask.)

“Frank, I’m—“ “Take the damn pills, doll.” 

Trusts himself and Curtis ONLY to stitch you up, 

Definitely not happy that you’re injured/comfortable with it, but he’s the most chill of the 3. (This is not saying much.)

If someone intentionally harmed you, they’ve sealed their fate. He will wait until you’re sleeping peacefully to take care of the problem tho. 

If your injury is because of an accident (clumsiness, general misfortune, etc) rather than a person intentionally hurting you, he’s a bit less intense. 

Once the initial shock of your injury has worn off, he will tease you about it, if it makes you laugh. 

“Careful, babygirl. Ya sure you’re ready to handle those evil stairs again?”

Relatively realistic about the severity of injuries, depending on the reaction of his partner. 

Like he won’t freak out over a paper cut if you don’t want him to. He’s perfectly willing to kiss it better if you ask tho. 

Matt:

The LEAST chill of the three. 

Treats a paper cut with the same severity as a broken limb. 

Though, I can’t imagine how scary it would be to smell your partner bleeding or hurt. Like that has to set off alarm bells regardless. 

Soooooo protective. Glued to your side immediately, practically snarling at anyone who gets too close. 

Won't let you lift so much as a FINGER if you don’t have to. 

Panics a little and offers you all of the options until you help him calm down. 

“Do you need painkillers? Or an ice pack? Or something to eat? Why don’t we take a nap or—“ “Matty, breathe. It’s just a pulled muscle.  I’m ok, love.” 

Will absolutely kiss it better and would prefer to do so. 

Tries to teach you to meditate to heal faster, but you keep giggling and turning to press kisses to his cheeks and neck, so he gives up. 

I think he would want to take time off from both his day job and deviling, but would ultimately compromise by splitting his time between all three of you, unless you really needed his company. 

Mikey:

So soft, the softest guy. 

More concerned with what you want than what he thinks you need. 

“How can I help ya, pet? Tell me whatcha need me to do.” 

Unlike Frank, he does NOT trust himself to assist and would much rather take you to a medical professional. 

Asks so many follow up questions after the doctor examines you to make sure to get everything right. 

I feel like he’d take notes on his phone or in a physical notebook even. He’s SO worried he’s going to fuck it up. 

Very hesitant to leave you alone, in case you need something. 

Regularly checks in on how you’re feeling, willing to help however he can. If you need cuddles, he’s wrapped around you before you can even finish the request. Looking for company on your walk to work or while running errands? He’s there with a smile on his face. 

Tbh this doesn’t only happen when you’re injured, I think he would take every available opportunity to spend time with you, but he will prioritize you to a higher degree when you’re sick or injured. 

Will tease you if you ask him to kiss something better, but only because he thinks it’s adorable to make you squirm. 🥹

[inthedarkshadows000]

SneakPeak#102.......

From the story I might never write

[isekai au pt.3]

Part 1, part 2

"This is a kitchen knife. You seriously kept a kitchen knife to defend yourself against someone like that." At the sound of a gruff voice a looked in Toji's direction who was moving from behind the desk towards me. He held the bloody knife in his hands like it was normal.

"I didn't know I would need it." I sat straight and replied, offended.

"You did. That is why it was there. You don't normally keep knives on yourself obvious from the lack of proper ones. The fact that you bothered having one here meant you knew this was going to happen." I was at a loss of words. He was right I knew this was gonna happen obviously, I had done my homework on that man.

"Let me rephrase. I hoped I wouldn't need it and that my manipulative skills would be enough to get out of any sticky situation. That was a back up, I agree a shitty one though." I shrugged and relaxed back. No need to go off bonkers here.

"Yeah? How'd that work out for you. If it hadn't been for me pushing out suguru your brains would be splattered on the wall here." He wasn't giving up here, was? Also Awwwwwww. He had moved right behind the coffee table. Suguru still sat between us.

"No. If Suguru hadn't stepped in my plan INITIAL would be ruined but not my beloved face." I got up shakily and moved towards my desk. Bending down to open the last drawer I took out my pack of cigarettes and a lighter.

"I agree I misread how fast his temper would flare up but even in the situation where I would be physically at a disadvantage, I knew how to not die." I continued and went toward the window on the left side of the room.

Drawing the curtains away, I opened the window and lit a cigg. I felt the tension leave my body the moment i inhaled the first drag.

Fucking finally!!!!

"Please enlighten us then." I really didn't like how sarcastic the dilf was. He sounded closer. I looked behind me to see them all getting up and moving towards me.

"I will if you calmed you tits down. Here, catch" I threw something at his face obviously knowing he will  catch it. Frankly I just wanted to get my frustration out.

"Smoking after losing that much isn't the smartest idea." Oh.. Kento my responsible baby!!!

"I know but that stressed the hell out of me. I'll stop if the smoke is an issue though?" I replied suddenly realising how it probably was, I was about to put it out when he shook his head in negative. So I just shrugged and continued.

"You wanted to blackmail him. He was about to kill you anyway taking it out of your dead or alive hands would be literally the same feet for him. An easy one." He gave the recording device to the others after finishing with it and came to stand next to me. Lighting a cigarette himself, he looked at me and gave me a challenging look.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at how much people could underestimate a person. Inhaling another puff I explained "Actually no that wasn't what I was going to do. Only a dumb ass would be that.... dumb. I was actually gonna make him believe that this entire meeting would automatically go viral if I didn't stop it."

"Would he have believed you could do that?" Asked toru seeming really intrigued by the idea.

"Of course, I am a software engineer, one of the most efficient ones. Why do you think he wants me. Also he knows nothing of modern tech." I smiled cheekily and winked at him. That made him guffaw. Let me just tell you it was the most beautiful sound ever.

"And would it have gone viral?" Toji was still as serious as ever.

Now what HAPPENED to his chill pill attitude.

"Does it really matter all that I had to do was make HIM believe that it would if he didn't leave this room and me unscathed. It's called bluffing. Not to mention that I could always have people actually do that with whatever dirt I have on him if he did harm me." I shrugged looking at him with an attitude and put out my cigg.

In an instant he had his large hand wrapped around my neck and I whimpered being taken off gaurd. "DO NOT give that attitude, little girl. I also don't take people talking down to me lightly, best you remember that."

His grip more like a warning than hurtful and it did nothing but awaken my inner freak and drama queen.

My choke fantasy is finally true!!! 3 more people to go!!!! Cannot believe I can finally tick one off of my list.

"Enough! let go of her this instant." Kento was next to me in an instant, the other too surrounded me. I jutted out my lower lip a little and made my eyes water a tiny bit.

Toji waited a beat and before releasing me and moving back to take a puff of the cigarette, which I had frankly forgotten about, while still maintaining eye contact with me. Kento was glaring at him.

Oh my chivalrous man.

Making sure no one was looking, i let one side of my lip quirk into a tiny smirk. Toji's green eyes grew slightly realising my act. His eyebrow raised, surprised, then a knowing gleam settled into his bright green eyes, impressed.

"Hey, you good?" At suguru's question all eyes were on me and I nodded innocently.

I had to bite my lip to stop my laugh when I saw toji shake his head and turn to look out, silently whispering "Tch, you little minx."

That's right big boy, I got my own powers. I evilly giggled.

[aqg-arts]

Anyone wanna my 2 cents on Jade Shadows?

Spoilers bellow frens ;3

So, right off the bat (before I put my personal personal thoughts out there), we need to acknowledge the criticism and outright discomfort this quest had.

Some of the criticism this quest got is something I can agree with. Specifically; Jade Shadow's needed more time. 100%. Let them cook, or more importantly, let the story cook and maybe even burn a bit to give us some crispy, smokin hot parts.

The little footnote at the end of the quest saying we have 'more questions than answers'? We get it, you're self-conscious, but that doesn't give you an excuse for not giving me Stalker. PERIOD, BITCH.

Jest aside, srsly, we needed to know more about Jade, Stalker, what happened to them, baby Orion (Halo possessed me in that moment, iykyk), etc. People needed to get invested in the characters, especially because this is a quest so close to being like Sacrifice on its level of storytelling...

Had it been able to have just 30+ minutes longer.

Onto the 2nd part of the criticism, birthing sim:

I'll be honest, as someone who was thinking of even going into being a midwifery/allied health, it didn't freak me out as much as it did others. But that's just one side of it. The other is how people say Jade's agency was ignored.

I'll be honest, this is just wrong. It's not media illiteracy by any means, but rather pure ignorance. Why?

Because her agency is declared.

When?

"... you're going to be a father." OH, and the fact she literally wanted the baby. There are plenty of people who can explain it better than that, and whilst I acknowledge people may feel this way, this was, in fact, not what happened.

Also, this quest is not pro-life, nor is it anything related to that. If it was, I assure you, you would have a majority of the fan base up and walk. Take a chill pill. If you want to attack something for being pro-life, go help out at an abortion clinic with crowd control or smth. Because once you see that, you'll understand just how wrong you are.

It's not subtle.

It's not in between the lines.

It doesn't exist.

The end. Period. Fullstop.

The criticism is fair, but going so far as to say those are the undertones is just not on. Not only are you lying about something, but you are also disrespecting the very real women whom have had their agency denied in one way or another.

Now, that's not the only criticism about it, but those are just a few things you may see floating on tumblr. Again, both are ok and fair. But when you start to spread lies or ignore what actually happened, you're part of the problem, not the solution.

Now, onto the fun stuff!

Imo, aside from what was stated before, the quest was actually pretty fun and interesting. The pair make an interesting concept, especially now with the lil fugly bean, which has stolen a place in my cold, brainrotted heart. I think I like the Corpus Cap the most- pls marry me, pls. Oh, an Hunhow? Let me hug him. Let me give him a home on my ships. Let me tell him he can be my bestie!!!

Back to Stalker, though, I really hope we see more of him, especially now he's git a VA.

Speaking of, homie didn't get to speak often, but God did it hit home when he did. You can feel how desperate he is, then when he gets his answers, how lost he is. Finally, resolution and love ehen he names his lil kid at the end.

Music was on point, too. I can't listen to it tho bc Ik ima be sobbing lol. It was so beautiful!!!!!!!

Lorewise, however, I have so many fucking questions, but in the funny haha/good way.

Was jade pregnant b4 being a wf? If not, Stalker...

Why was their relationship shamed upon? Was Jade a Dax and him, well, him? Or was it because they weren't married? What was it that made the Orokin make em into Warframes? Also, Ballas, man, we know your hypocritical ass is in this shit too.

Also, Umbra and Helminth are confirmed to roam around the Orbiter, and vc Umbra is my main, this is a personal achievement. Now let us see it happen, and I'll be DE's 4 life.

But seriously, TL;DR:

Jade Shadow's was a good quest, it just needed to cook slightly longer. And, until we get more Umbra x Stalker from DE (bros b4 all), I'll be on AO3 in 3 (maybe 4) tags.

See in the next Stalker stan post :)

[dirty-bear-rick-sanchez]

Episode thoughts under the cut

I loved Morty knowing Rick so well that he just straight up lies about the coffee lmao. Also the way he says 'hey buddy' like he's a dad entering his kid's room when they're in a depressive episode is so funny to me

Rick just literally saying 'family' to address the family

I thought the ghost/unfinished business joke was funny

I also love Rick being so petty (and Summer being petty back about the portal). It's so funny that he just calls the family 'stupids' as well. Devastating insult bro

Interesting that Gearhead was the first person he went to? He definitely needed someone to give him the courage to get the rest of his friends for an intervention (especially BP)

'Told you he wasn't dead' killed me

BIRDDAUGHTER. Funny name, love her being an emo teenage edgelord who just goes round killing Gromflomites. 'This is worse than prison'? Love it

Also I really liked that we got to see this side of BP's character this episode? He's so funny and I love getting to see him be a shit. Him trying to parent his daughter and just drinking wine? We love another alcoholic girldad

I really liked getting to see Rick/BP/Squanchy actually hanging out as well? I feel like it's a good insight into how they probably were back in the Flesh Curtains days

I like the 'birthday, birthday, birthday' gag

Also Rick immediately being like 'fuck this we're getting wrecked'

The honey scene was definitely for the Rickfuckers

Can we talk about the fact that Rick was definitely trying to impress BP by bringing up the fact that he hosted the Oscars? Which is definitely why he wanted that gig in the first place

Once again I love getting to see this side of Birdperson. Definitely makes sense why he and Rick get on so well

I liked the visual gag of Rick being high

Also BP and Squanchy playing the knife game lmao

Rick sits so fucking dramatically

Look at BP's face, he definitely wants to fuck that Predator guy

Son heist

I love that Rick can immediately identify Squanchy's shit based on the smell? Like he knows it's his and no one else's

BIRDPERSON PUTTING HIS HAND OVER RICK'S MOUTH

(You know Rick is gonna be thinking about that forever)

I like the recurring Squanchy tooth thing

'Why is this my thing' lmao

Poor poopy child

WAYNE

Them all just chilling together waiting for their drunk food? love it

I love BP leaving to collect his daughter from attacking a Federation outpost with the exact same energy as a parent collecting their child from school after they got suspended. It's so funny to imagine the GF having the same sort of vibe as they do with Rick and just texting BP like 'yo we got your daughter here' (I know that's not what happened but it's a funny mental image)

Lmao Squanchy

I did like the fading pill bit

Poor Gene

Overall I liked getting to explore this aspect of the dynamic between Rick/BP/Squanchy/Gearhead (+ the others of course but they're the OGs yk?) and also the concept of intervention/alcoholism. I think it's interesting to see that Rick does want to help but his support system is so fucked that this ends up happening and it makes a lot of sense when it comes to his own issues. I really like the way they handle Rick trying to get better and do the right thing but struggling so much to break out of unhealthy behaviours/habits. He's painfully aware of how fucked up he is and how much of a bad influence he is but he doesn't know how to fix the issue/be a positive influence and he definitely views abandonment as a good thing because he's removing himself from the situation. Very interesting way to explore this aspect of his issues, especially since all his friends are also alcoholics with that level of denial/refusal to get better

I had this discussion with @hazelnut-u-out before the episode aired but I do like that they're showing Mr PB directly suffering as a result of Rick's actions in canon? Considering that he started as a joke/meta character it's very interesting to show him actually shifting to more of a serious character who appears in the actual show and experiences real issues, especially since the show becomes less and less sitcom-y as Rick becomes more aware of the reality of how fucked up all of these things are.

[lady-of-ocs]

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE GUESS WHO FINISHED SEASON 3 LAST NIGHT

AND LET ME TELL YOU, BABE. THIS SEASON WAS A WHOLE ROLLERCOASTER OF EMOTIONS.

I'm gonna go down in order of the episodes, I guess. Alright, FROM THE TOP!

...Right after the cut because god knows I have a lot to say

In case you hadn't noticed in my past few posts, I like Daisuga a lot. That being said, Michimiya's whole crush on Daichi is not only adorable, but very relatable. Like, Daichi is such a sweetheart. How could you not have a crush on him? Michimiya giving him the little good luck charm before the game was pretty cute. Anyway, back to the regularly programmed homosexuality-

Actually, scratch that. We love to see Nishinoya and Tanaka chanting "do it for the babes" and screaming in the middle of the hallway. My dudes, you'd get way more girls if you took a chill pill.

ALSO HINATA'S MIDDLE SCHOOL FRIENDS COMING TO WATCH HIM PLAY AND SUPPORT HIM!!!!!!! I'M GONNA CRY, YOU GUYS. Also Kageyama not remembering them lmao- "Do you remember every bug you squish?" is WILD in the context that he's comparing beating Hinata's middle school team to that. SO tactful there, Kags. AND HINATA WITH THE FINGER GUN "this is why no one likes you" COMBO. THAT IS MY SON RIGHT THERE. I LOVE HIM

Obviously it was good to see the school start to support them at the end of season 2, but the vice principal and a bunch of the student body showing up was so great to see! I had to look Shimada and Takinoue up on the Haikyuu wiki because I cannot for the life of me remember their names, though. I'm out here calling them "glasses guy" and "the blond one." But it was good to see them there to support the boys as well! As someone who was in a not very popular sport during high school, any support at all feels great, so I'm very happy for the boys. That being said, THEY WERE NOT CONFIDENT AT THE START OF THIS GAME. HALF THE TEAM LOOKS EITHER DEAD OR LIKE THEY'RE GONNA VOMIT. Hinata, Asahi, and Yamaguchi my anxious, beloved boys- Meanwhile Nishinoya and Tanaka having a girl related breakdown. Oh and the Shiratorizawa crowd was wild. It was just bigger than Karasuno's, for one, but they also had some fucking cheerleaders and at one point they broke into song- It was just a crazy difference. You could tell that a lot of these guys regularly went to games, unlike the Karasuno crowd who didn't know the chants very well.

AND SPEAKING OF THE CROWD: AKITERU!!!! I honestly just love Kei in general, but seeing his relationship with his big brother is one of my favorite things (that and his relationship with Yamaguchi, obviously). I loved every moment of Akiteru being on screen. His surprise that Kei might have more friends than just Tadashi, his pride in his brother's performance, and him rushing down after Kei's hand got injured- Whoa, whoa, getting ahead of myself. All that to say that Akiteru was delightful during this season and he does genuinely seem like a good big brother.

Just as a warning, you're gonna see me gush about Tendō a lot in this post because that's my boy and I love him (as if I don't say that about half the characters who appear on my screen). I screamed when he arrived.

The first set just stressed me out. Somehow I remembered that Ushiwaka was a lefty well enough that I wasn't surprised when Noya said it, but it didn't quite register in my brain when I watched the ball getting hit. We love to see Suga screaming at the team and telling them to get their heads out of their "big dumb asses." Love you so much, Suga. Keep being the team mom we all love to see. I was watching this first set and just going "they're getting absolutely steamrolled holy shit-" but eyyyy Tanaka got the first point! That being said, the set ended and I was like "girl that was an absolute MASSACRE." P.S. thank you to whoever decided to write actual explanations about certain volleyball rules, plays, strategies, etc. into the show (and I'd guess they were also in the manga?). Yachi explained the technical timeout and I was like ohhhhh. I get it now.

Tsukki's hand got BEAT UP this season. He's got one finger sprained or something in the first set and then his hand manages to get cut open or something on a ROUND BALL and his pinkie finger gets fucking DISLOCATED. Ushiwaka, your spikes are lethal, dude. Keep doing what you're doing but good god please don't kill someone

Tendō and his fucking blocks are just- HE'S GENUINELY SO FUCKING COOL AND KINDA SILLY AND I LOVE HIM??? BUT LIKE. OBVIOUSLY I WANT KARASUNO TO WIN SO I'M JUST LIKE "oh that was so awesome but AHHHHH FUCKING TENDŌ AT IT AGAIN"

Shiratorizawa is a scary opponent. Obviously you have Ushiwaka and Tendō, but they're all pretty good players. Even though I already knew that Karasuno won at the end (even if I hadn't seen things from the end of the match, obviously they win since there's literally a season 4), I was still on the edge of my seat because oh, hey, this is really intense and you really sit there and wonder "how the hell are they going to win?" sometimes.

LISTEN. I WAS SAT HERE LIKE "Tsukki, you're such a brat but SUCH A FUCKING CUTIE PATOOTIE." I LOVE THIS BOY. I'LL FIGHT SOMEONE FOR THIS BOY. GET TENDŌ'S ASS, HONEY

Love that Yamaguchi is no longer nervous about serving and just wants to get in the game so that he can serve.

Please enjoy this snippet taken directly from my google doc: IT’S YAMS’ TIME TO SHINE PLEASE LET MY BABY SHINE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY- “It’s all you.” FUCKING TSUKKI ABOUT TO MAKE ME EMOTIONAL OVER A GODDAMN SERVE. HE’S MORE SUPPORTIVE THAN HE GETS CREDIT FOR AND I’M GOING TO THROTTLE HIM Immediately followed by: FUCKING USHIWAKA I HATE YOU /hj

Brief commercial break from our regularly programmed rambling- THE WIKI JUST TOLD ME THAT KAGEYAMA'S GRANDPA WENT TO SHIRATORIZAWA AND WHAT. WHAT DO YOU MEAN. THIS INFORMATION CANNOT BE SPRUNG ON ME THREE DAYS INTO 2025

"NEXT EPISODE IS CALLED FULL MOON AND TSUKKI IS LITERALLY CONSIDERED THE MOON IT’S ABOUT TO BE THE TSUKKI KICKS ASS EPISODE WOOOOOOOO"

I'm glad I wrote a little note down about Yachi's mobbing metaphor because I kind of forgot about it, but that same mobbing mindset was ultimately what won Karasuno the game. Their last attack was a synchronized attack, and it overwhelmed Shiratorizawa and ultimately lost them the point and won Karasuno the game. So, yeah! Amazing metaphor, Yachi! And great foreshadowing, show!

I cannot remember the context for all of these but here are some random reactions from this section:

SERVICE ACE ASAHI! SERVICE ACE ASAHI! WOOOOOO! THIS MAN IS MY FAVORITE EVER

Tsukki I swear to god YOU CANNOT DO THIS TO ME. HE’S SO SMART. SMARTEST FUCKING COOKIE.

Hinata is such a talented little decoyyyyy. I’M SO PROUD OF HIM!!!!

He’s so fucking good at that quick I’m so proud of him

Tsukki has gotten so much more into the game and it makes me so happy. He’s so fun to watch and listen to the inner monologues of. He’s a genuinely amazing blocker and player and I loooove this

ASAHI IS SUCH A GOOD, SUPPORTIVE UPPERCLASSMAN SIR CAN YOU PLEASE STOP BEING SO KISSABLE

"I’ll never forgive them for what they do to you baby 😭"

I have seen season 4 Asahi and I just. I'm not as attached to season 4's design but it doesn't seem like many people like season 4's animation style, so I feel like I can say that. Season 1 Asahi, you will always be my one true love. But season 2 and 3 Asahi is also very good (I love his little headband).

"TSUKKIIIIIIIII HOLY SHIT HE BLOCKED USHIWAKA HOLY FUCK THAT’S MY FUCKING BOY HOLY FUCKING SHIT THEY GOT THE SET BECAUSE OF TSUKKI AHHHHHHH." So, obviously, I was very excited. There is a screenshot of Tsukki in my google doc. I screamed some more. "YOU ABSOLUTELY MAGNIFICENT MOTHERFUCKER I ADORE YOU AND I NEED TO FUCKING SQUEEZE YOU" I was just having a grand old time gushing about Tsukki. AND I LOVED THAT HE WAS SO PUMPED UP BY HIS BLOCK TOO. HIM CLENCHING HIS FIST AND YELLING SHOT RIGHT THROUGH ME, MAN. UKAI CALLED HIM THE MVP AT THE END OF THE GAME AND GIRL HE WAS SO RIGHT.

Damn, I didn’t even get to see them lose that set, they just fucking lost. Like, almost by 10 (25-18). I don’t even know what to say to that, babe

Shiratorizawa’s coach is so mean but also so funny (“Do I need to call child protective services? Because you look like a lost kid at the mall!” SIR PLEASE YOU AREN’T ALLOWED TO BE THIS FUNNY). And he was consistently funny the entire time. Like, so many comments and threats just had me like "SIR I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO LIKE YOU THIS MUCH." “Keep playing like bums and I’ll have you run home while I wave to you from the bus!” PLEASE MR. COACH MAN YOU ARE SO FUCKING FUNNY HELP- THE FACT THAT TENDŌ SAYS HE’S LEGITIMATELY DONE THAT TOO OH MY GOD

TENDŌ SATORI I AM IN YOUR FUCKING WALLS THAT PLAY WAS SO GOOD AND YOU JUST SHUT TANAKA DOWN AHHHHH.

IWA AND OIKAWA ARE HEREEEEEEE!!!! I like them a lot. I like them a lot a lot. I love how we got to see them banter and they gave commentary on the game and specifically Kageyama and Hinata. And the fact that Iwa showed up, too. Like, come on, babe, as if you didn't come here specifically because you knew Oikawa would. Don't play stupid with me. Side note: Oikawa you fucking NERD

Cue me gushing about the third years as little baby first years (my dog sat on my mouse while I was trying to write that sentence):

ASAHI IS SOMEHOW AN EVEN MORE ANXIOUS BOY AND DAICHI’S VOICE IS SO HIGH. BABY HAS NOT HIT PUBERTY YET LMAO

I’M GONNA CRY LOOK AT THEM I LOVE THEM I CANNOT DEAL- "I don’t know if I can watch this entire episode if I’m gonna keep getting fucking cuteness aggression every time I see these three babies on screen. I’m gonna squish them. I must" Look at my boyssssss. They worked so hard and for WHAT “I guess that means our crows have fallen” SHUT UP OLD MAN YOU’RE GIVING THESE CHILDREN TRAUMA

I don't remember the context for this picture but I just want to put in another picture of Asahi tbh.

That's the love of my life right there, people. He's pretty, anxious (he's just like me), and a sweetheart. My ideal man fr fr

Again, do not remember the context for this, but: TENDŌ YOU LITTLE SHIT-

"Aaaand Ushijima’s serving somebody hold my hand-" Tendou being Ushijima’s fucking hype man is everything I needed to see today lmao

Okay but genuine question. So Suga goes in and serves, they get the point. But now Kageyama is serving. Where the fuck did Suga go??? Don’t they usually keep serving??? Unless they lost a point that I missed but ????????

SO DOWN FOR SUGA STARTING THE FINAL SET. GET THEIR ASSES SUGA BABY. Aww Suga’s stressed. Can’t blame him. IT’S THE KIYOKO PART! She’s genuinely so kind, though. Like, she noticed he was trying to warm up his hands and tried to help. Kiyoko, you’ve grown on me! We also love to see Asahi being supportive to Suga. The third years have my entire heart and soul dedicated to them, I fear

JESUS CHRIST USHIJIMA YOU’RE GOING TO HURT THE FUCKING SPECTATORS

SUGA LOOKS SO SMALL NEXT TO THOSE SHIRATORIZAWA GUYS MY GOD Granted, Suga isn’t the tallest guy on the team, but dude, these guys look like giants next to him AIN’T NO WAY TENDŌ CALLED SUGA “easy to read, like a kids book.” YOU TAKE THAT BACK. LEAVE SUGA MAMA ALONE

Asahi’s serve! OH MY GOD AND NISHI DOING THE SET FOR A FULL TEAM ATTACK AND SUGA IS THE ONE WHO FUCKING SPIKES IT AND GETS THE POINT THAT WAS FUCKING EPIC.

So. Tendō's tragic backstory. I was already attached to him at this point but the whole thing about him being ostracized for his entire fucking life (and for what? He's just a baby, leave him alone) just hit me right in the heart and buried itself there. I need to squeeze this precious little baby because ain't no way I'm letting him get treated like that. I'm glad that his teammates and coaches don't treat him like that, at least. Ushijima had better have been the best fucking friend to him I swear to god-

AND THEY MADE ME LIKE USHIJIMA IN TWO FUCKING SECONDS. LOOK AT THAT BABY. LOOK HOW MUCH THIS BOY LOOKS UP TO HIS DAD. SOMEONE FUCKING HOLD ME

That was a hella gay thing to say, Tendō “now isn’t that a beautiful sight” while staring directly at Ushijima. WHO WROTE THIS

“In Tendō’s words, I am excited.” YOU KNOW WHAT? I’M HAPPY FOR HIM. GLAD THIS BOY IS HAVING FUN

TSUKKI YOU ARE SUCH A LITTLE SHIT I LOVE YOU

LOOK AT THIS ABSOLUTE PUNK OF A BOY

See, I knew Tsukishima got injured during this game but somehow I still didn't expect it when it happened. AND I DIDN'T KNOW HE STARTED BLEEDING HOLY SHIT. AND WHAT DO YOU FUCKING MEAN HIS PINKIE IS DISLOCATED??? AND HIM TRYING TO ACT ALL TOUGH LIKE THE PAIN DOESN'T BOTHERING HIM. TSUKISHIMA KEI I AM SHAKING YOU LIKE A WET NOODLE.

DO NOT FUCKING TOUCH ME LOOK AT HOW WORRIED TADASHI IS

Akiteru being a good big brother and running down to check on Tsukki I- TSUKISHIMA PLAYING OFF HIS PAIN BUT HE’S ABSOLUTELY FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE RIGHT NOW. Good on Akiteru for reminding Tsukki that he has a good team and doesn’t need to tough it out.

CAN WE PLEASE APPRECIATE SAEKO?? The guys were so dejected and tired and Saeko woke up the crowd and started leading the chants and cheering. I love her. Tanaka has a good big sister.

AND AT THE LAST MOMENTS OF ONE HELL OF A SET, TSUKISHIMA KEI RETURNS TO THE FUCKING COURT LET’S GO!!!!! Everyone is so happy/surprised to see Tsukishima back and I’m so happy too! Let’s go, babe! BLESS HINATA HONESTLY “I bought you some time, Tsukki…But honestly, it was mostly Yamaguchi." I AM ON THE FLOOR.

DAWWWW LOOK AT USHIJIMA SILENTLY APOLOGIZING TO TSUKKI FOR THE INJURY. He’s not a bad egg, he’s just competitive

NOT THE BALL HITTING TSUKKI’S BAD HAND RIGHT AFTER HE GETS BACK IN THE GAME. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP THAT BOY-

Hinata gets a point, Tendō blocks his next point and we’re back at Duce, WHEN DOES IT END

NISHINOYA YOU’RE MY FUCKING HERO!!!!!!!

HOLY SHIT THIS IS THE MOST INTENSE THING I’VE EVER WATCHED. HINATA GOT HIT IN THE FUCKING FACE. LOOK AT HOW INTO THIS SHIT TSUKKI IS. USHIWAKA LOOKS LIKE HE’S GOING TO FUCKING KILL SOMEONE. BABYGIRL I AM SHAKING

Ohhhhh the visual of Ushijima shoving Tsukishima and Hinata down and then Daichi, Asahi, and Tanaka coming to push him off and help them is just AHHHHHHH. THEY’RE SO FUCKING AWESOME. I LOVE THESE UPPERCLASSMEN SO FUCKING MUCH. SOMEONE PLEASE SEDATE ME.

AND THEY FUCKING WIN. LET'S GO KARASUNO!!!!!!!!! I had to get up and take two laps to get myself to calm down enough to actually watch this part because I was so excited for them.

These three are fucking crushing me please hold-

Nah but the way that Daichi instantly just turned to Asahi and they hugged each other and then Suga immediately came to join them and they just hugged and screamed and cried- I was emotional. They deserve the world. I'm so happy for them AND THEY AREN'T EVEN REAL

“Farewell, my paradise” TENDŌ I DO NOT NEED TO CRY RIGHT NOW STOP IT-

Bawling my eyes out.

Takeda fucking sobbing that he’s proud of them is so real of him. And Ukai putting his hands on shoulders and praising the boys (TSUKKI IS 100% THE MVP OF THE GAME TODAY WOOOOOOO)

*cue chanting* USHITEN RIGHTS! USHITEN RIGHTS! Them just laying there stretching together is just. I don't know. I just had emotions about it. Someone has a whole analysis on what Tendō is saying (acting like Ushiwaka is going to just leave and forget about him), so I won't go into that territory, but just. I like them a lot. Shiratorizawa grew on me and I got all sad when they started crying from their loss. I'm really glad that Ushiwaka and Tendō remain friends (I've seen that "we're also best friends" panel from the manga and it fuels my life force, actually).

*continued chanting* TSUKKIYAMA RIGHTS! TSUKKIYAMA RIGHTS! I just love them so much. -> This is about the Tsukki calling himself worthless and Yamaguchi yelling at him about it scene, by the way. I love them.

Girl, the chaos 4 and Takeda are fucking passed out over there. Honestly, they all deserve it but Tanaka especially. He really played his ass off for all five sets. He, Asahi, and Daichi were clearly exhausted by the end but they kept fighting (and so did everyone else, to be fair!)

OOOOH IT’S THE JUMPING THING. THE ONE WHERE THEY’RE ALL JUMPING TO MEASURE HOW HIGH EVERYONE CAN JUMP. I love that Asahi's all salty about Hinata being able to jump as high as him. We don't get salty Asahi enough.

AND THAT’S SEASON 3 BABYGIRL!!! NEXT TIME: SEASON 4 (featuring the animation change that nobody likes)

I'm probably going to do more consistent reactions again now that I have a functioning laptop again. So, look forward to that, I guess!

[anonymous-dentist]

Okokokok I need some help understanding something and you’re a writer so I trust your judgement. I keep trying except I’m just making myself more upset. I just want to start enjoying the new story with everyone like normal

In a story, how do you take revenge against something/someone with plot amor?

I feel like the revenge>failure>anger>revenge cycle would get a bit repetitive right?

I’m just trying to think of this in term of story and character development and I’m failing to grasp how this will work in a way that’s productive

I think that the events over the past few weeks or so are meant to show that the Federation doesn't have as much plot armor as you think it does. Because it's spread so fucking thin right now between the kidnapping of Ron and the murders and the dark matter and the Mini-Mes getting taken and the eggs and the president going missing. They don't know what's going on and the workers are scared and in hiding and literally only Foolish is chill right now, and that's because he's become such a good spy that even the "higher ups" love him. He's currently in the process of doing what Cellbit spent months trying to do, and he's going to succeed.

But this isn't about the Federation, it's about Cucurucho, aka the thing Cellbit really wants to destroy even if he's telling everyone , who was apparently proven to not even be a part of the Federation at all today! Apparently, the Census Bureau isn't a Federation employee like. At All.

So this begs the question: how do you kill a God?

The answer is that... well, you don't. Not when you're Cellbit, and that's exactly the point of what he's doing now. He's not going after Cucurucho specifically for a reason: he knows he can't win. Which is why he's going after the regular workers first. That way, he can start dismantling the Federation from the outside as others dismantle it from the inside (he knows about Fit being a spy, and he technically knows about Foolish even if he doesn't believe him all the way.)

We all think the Federation has plot armor, but it really doesn't! All things considered, the islanders have won against it several times! Between the eggs basically going rogue and breaking whatever programming they were under as Federation creations to get attached to their parents, ElQuackity the Federation Plant losing the election due to islanders' interference, Cellbit keeping the Federation from killing him by killing himself, the Mini-Mes being stolen, Pac and Mike escaping prison, Felps and Cellbit escaping their prison, Baghera escaping the island in the first place, the islanders becoming friends with several workers to the point of said workers defecting from the Federation, Forever and Pac being freed from the influence of the Happy Pills, and literally everything Fit and Foolish have managed to do while undercover, we've seen the Federation lose, and I think we forget about all of this because, well. It is Torture Island.

The plot armor here isn't necessarily the Federation's. It's Cucurucho's, and it's Cellbit's real target. But he knows he can't do anything to it yet, and so he's going for everything around it, and then, when he's strong enough or whatever, he's going to go for Cucurucho itself, and he's made it bleed before, actually, way back during the first Hide and Seek game day. He's just waiting for another opportunity, and he's waiting very patiently. (LOL)

It looks hopeless now, but this is legitimately day one of the arc. It's no use doomposting or anything when we haven't seen who's gonna help Cellbit out, because we know that some of the strongest people on the island possibly would. Like Etoiles, who legit doesn't give a fuck about killing Federation workers because he did quite literally kill like 20 in ten minutes or so, EZ. And Roier, who is genuinely one of the strongest non-Etoiles pvpers on the island. And Maxo, who has a literal nuclear bomb.

My advice as a writer? Just chill and don't think about it too much. I can see how awesome this arc is going to be because Cellbit is an EXCELLENT storyteller. It's not worth worrying about when we don't even know all the factors in play yet.

[leonenjoyer69]

It has been demanded of me to drop everything I had made for an unshared BMC x TGS AU I thought up back in March :3 I honestly don't remember much of it, but I apparently wrote a shit ton, so here's that straight from my drafts and writing app--

First! The original Tumblr draft!:

Guys guys, hear me out, TGS "Be More Chill" AU thingy.

Hyde is Jekylls SQUIP, and boy is he defective. Self loathing is of course still in order, but also he's constantly telling Jekyll to do really impulsive things. Oh, this guys being an asshole? PUNCH HIS ASS JEKYLL! holy shit, hot theatre boy Lanyon? Kiss him kiss him ASK HIM OUT YOU WUSS-

Hyde SQUIP doesn't want complete world control via SQUIPs tho bc all the other ones are too "boring", he just kinda wants to do whatever and "fix" this really nerdy Scottish boy.

And then, what I had in my writing app (which was a lot jfc):

TGS au that is vaguely inspired by BMC >:3

Henry and Robert share a dorm room at this university (Henry is big gay for Lanyon ofc). At this University, Jekyll has created this science club, Students for Arcane Science (of course there's also all sorts of mythical curiosities in this world, so it's still got all the ghosts and creatures and werewolves) with the help of Dr Maijabi (who's a teacher in this mayhaps, otherwise itd be Mrs Frankenstein). This club is just to bring people who are very passionate about their scientific fields together to talk and share experiments and things, and to perhaps do experiments together. One day, someone in passing (perhaps Pennebrygg) mentions this odd new Japanese technology to Jekyll, since he's so enraptured by chemistry and matters of the mind and soul, and Jekylls nerd ass immediately wants to know more about it. So, being the science-driven guy he is, he immediately sets out to get his hands on one to try, because hey, maybe this cool little pill will give him the confidence to actually ask out Lanyon and to make other people like him more. Too bad he gets a defective one. He doesn't know that though! So, of course his first course of action is to absolutely grill this SQUIP thing-- who so quickly insisted that he was to be called Hyde (what an odd name for this oddly dressed lad)-- on how he worked (I like to think Jekylls Scottish accent slips out more when he gets enthusiastic or when he's rushing, Lanyon has to remind him a lot to "speak English"). Hyde doesn't really care to answer most of these questions, but he relents on one condition, that Jekyll shuts the fuck up long enough for him to make it home so he's not caught talking to himself like a maniac in public. So, cue a montage of Jekyll barely containing his wonder and excitement as this brash little creature walking beside him (Hyde doesn't like being locked away in the mind, so hes persistent about keeping a physical manifestation of himself if able) explains how he was created (well, to the extent hes allowed to). Eventually though, he gets kinda bored and just begins poking fun at Jekyll and the people they come across, running around doing silly things that he knows only Jekyll can see, and Jekyll kinda gets a kick out of it. Eventually they make it back to Jekylls dorm, where Lanyons just lazing around. (Im unsure if Jekyll  should reveal that he got the SQUIP to Lanyon or if it should be kept a secret from him, since he wants to use it to get with him and all). Hyde probably makes some quip about Jekyll having good taste or something, studying Lanyon super closely. Jekyll gets super flustered and kinda runs off to somewhere where he can talk to Hyde one on one. When talking, Jekyll reveals what he wants help with: 1. Getting with Lanyon, and 2. Just being able to fit in more and get people to actually like him. Hyde agrees (of course, he doesn't have much else of a choice considering he's bound to this nerd now) and starts coming up with increasingly wild and morally questionable plans.

Hyde's whole thing is that he's defective- not in a "I wanna take over this place/the world", but in more of a way where he wants to live vicariously through Henry. He can't live his own life because of what he is, and for some reason, despite how he was supposed to be created, he's less "calm, calculated computer" and more "impulsive spit fire". He feels things that he's probably not supposed to, but hey, that's not for him to dwell on. (It'd be really cool if at some point Henry tried giving Hyde his own body, mayhaps either with Mr Tanis, Pennebrygg, or Frankensteins help) so, Hyde let's this impulsivity guide him through "helping" Henry, which makes Henry's control and ability to ignore the increasingly wild things Hyde tells him to say or do (for example, telling him to punch a fellow student for looking at him snide, or to tell Lanyon that his smile is beautiful)

____

Yeah, clearly more inspired by BMC than like, a straight kinda insert AU, but idk thinking on it now it could definitely be changed a decent bit to fit BMC more. But!!! There's that, to the people that were curious lmao

[tempest-ghoulette]

Autumn in Jackson

Just morning cuddles with Tess as the weather changes in Jackson

Warnings: None

Word Count: 390

A/N: Hello everyone and welcome to my first?(technically second) Tess fic. This came to me while writing something else for Tess so technically my second fic for her and uhh be on the watch for that fic(if someone wants to beta read just ask). Uhhh yeah Anna Torv as Tess has sucked me back in and this time I’m writing for her. Please bear with me as usually when I write it’s for class so yeah feedback is appreciated and I hope you enjoy😊. Oh also shout out to my friend @booksooks for proofreading this thanks pookie.

Autumn was your favorite time of year. When the weather finally cooled off enough to where you wouldn’t be sweating your ass off, but still warm enough to where you wouldn’t freeze to death. You never really got to enjoy the change in weather during your time in the Boston QZ, too busy with selling shipments of pills to gather more ration cards and supplies for the upcoming winters.

Since making the move to Jackson two years prior you didn’t have to worry about any of that anymore. You could just enjoy the weather with your little family. Taking Ellie to the little fair that Jackson hosted, you and Ellie both pestering Joel to carry the biggest pumpkin so you could carve it later, and the best of all, snuggling with Tess in front of the fire.

You're brought out of your reverie as a chill shakes your frame, snuggling more into the blankets and turning yourself into the warmth of the body next to you. You start to bury your face into the crook of Tess’s neck when she mumbles sleepily “your nose is fucking freezing” her voice raspy and low with the remnants of sleep still clinging on.

“It’s not my fault, if I’d known I would’ve worn warmer clothes to bed” you mumble as you try and wiggle closer.

“I told you the weather was gonna turn” she states matter of factly. You scoff trying again to snuggle closer “what did your knees tell you that?” you reply sarcastically. She gives you a look of mock hurt “haha very funny” as she finally relents and pulls you closer.

You both lay there for a couple minutes, basking in the silence before breaking it “what time do we have to be up for patrol?” you feel her shift to look over your shoulder at the clock on the nightstand, “not for a couple more hours baby” settling back into bed and nuzzling into your hair.

“Mmmmm, next time I suggest we do early patrol smack me” you feel her frame shake as she lets out a tired chuckle. “Go back to sleep baby” you snuggle even closer, practically wrapping yourself around her “mmm love you Tessa” you feel a kiss pressed to your head and a faint love you too as you drift off back to sleep.

[georgies-ftts]

my thoughts and opinions on this weeks episode as someone who didn’t have time to watch last weeks episode, has never watched live american telly before and has discovered a new found hatred for your adverts. Also i swear a lot.

let’s begin

(spoilers obviously don’t be a knob)

1. he cannae be captain he’s only got two stripes on his epilette why are we focusing so much on this man

2. Bobby eyeing up that gun I like that (the acting)

3. this guy is giving me uncanny valley and i don’t like it

4. hehe dongle

5. i mean fair enough… in and out just like he said

6. Hen love of my life where the hell have you been loca

7. “and you won’t be anymore either” that’s actually dead funny to me

8. husbands that saw together survive trauma together <3

9. “everyone survived” i know foreshadowing when i see it

10. there’s a lot of drunk driver hatred (as deserved) somethings gonna occurr

11. oh he’s dead… lol karma fuckhead

12. Hen, i love you but why can noone on telly give me actual realistic CPR… break them ribs girl

13. christ these american adverts are weird

14. let me tell you advertising prescription medicine isn’t actually a normal thing to do

15. I don’t know boss man am no a dr but that’s an awful lot of blood are you sure you should still be breathing????

16. “Are you happy” “Yeah, Yeah I am” i have a feeling that’s all about to change buddy

17. just me or can anyone else not see a fucking thing that’s going on this episode why’s everyone in the dark for?

18. moving on from that i love the lighting in the office scene… chefs kiss

19. EXCUSE ME SHE WAS DOING HER JOB, NEXT YOU’LL SUSPEND HER FOR CODLING THE DRUNK DRIVER AND GIVING HIM TEA AND CHEEK KISSES PISS OFFFFF

20. Why do American comm’s systems always fail whenever you actually need them

21. They were axed to pieces. I will let you off -_- this time…

22. “I didn’t shoot him” honestly… same i hope you get yer pay out boss

23. Athena please for the love of god pop a paracetamol or a codeine and chill the fuck out

24. cause it has never been hard enough for them you just had to add a bastard bomb

25. ITS BEEN 5 MINUTES WHY MORE ADVERTS

26. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ADVERTISING TO YOUR CITIZENS

27. The Rookie ad i love it carry on

28. If he wasn’t under the influence then he was just being a cunt and hen had every right to react as such thankyou very much

29. Oh my fuck what is happening - don’t tear them apart i’ll start crying

30. Bitch you’re taking on water stop being a pussy and help

31. “Don’t test me.” Queen, you rag his arse

32. “port stabilisers are gone” surely you should be tilting like a bitch right now or did i miss a frame

33. MORE FUCKING ADVERTS????

34. why’s that lizard from london?

35. WHY ARE YOU ADVERTISING DEMENTIA MEDICATION THAT IS LITERALLY ADVERTISED ALSO AS A DEATH PILL WHAT DO YOU MEAN COMA AND DEATH THATS NOT HELPING

36. “i didn’t save him either” he quite literally refused your help despite being detained

37. didn’t get that SS Menow reference… try the Mayflower next time

38. “Saving the ship” “course she is” GIVE THEM ONE MOMENT OF PEACE PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU

39. okay good they are tilting like a bitch i will shut my mouth

40. NO STOP TILTING LIKE A BITCH I DONT CARE ABOUT REALISM I TAKE IT BACK NO

41. HOW MANY MORE ADVERTS DO YOU NEED

42. i don’t know but all your meds just seem to be doing the opposite of.. you know… keeping you alive.

43. woah therapy flash back get me one of those

44. you forgot to mention imminent death in your therapy session Mr Sir

45. “We did what we had to do” YOU’RE ALLOWED TO LIVE TOO.

46. “I couldn’t save my first family and I can’t save you either” and what if that was my last straw Robert Nash

47. ABC you can tone down the writing now i’m fucking sobbing

48. FUCK YOU AUSTRALIAN MAN I WAS CRYING MY EYES OUT

49. glad the us also have those Haribo ads

50. first time in my almost 20 years of life where i’ve seen an ADVERT for ANTIDEPRESSANTS that also actively make you MORE DEPRESSED

51. Hen i knew you were slaying you’ve never not slayed <3

52. no need for it was there mr boss man? no didn’t think so

53. You have no jurisdiction past the Gulf of Mexico??? ummmm??? distressed cruise ship full of your citizens???? idk??? do something????

54. oh. welp. no surviving that one, have fun with poseidon my loves

55. i don’t know about you but once i’ve been capsized like that in anything bigger than a kayak im giving up…