#someone actually thinks my special interest is like cool and stuff

[transfagmenace]

on video call with my boyfriend right now what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck how am i supposed to function right now what the fuck im trying to like. say words but its just like wHat omg omg thats my boyfriend wowee wow i have a boyfriend like what???? what. what omg. what. boyfriend. what. thats my brain right now. how am i supposed to form coherent thoughts when hes like. rIGHT there what th e fuck

[eclaire-went-bam]

i have a tendency to speak really funny (hi = salutations, good day, wonderful evening, howdy, greetings dearest associate, etcetc ; bye = so long, farewell, good-bye now [but like i'm speaking to a baby]) and i have no idea how much of it is influenced by autism and how much of it is influenced by (questioning) npd

[icewindandboringhorror]

Various images from the past year or so... posting my evil little photo diary collections once again..

[lych33dragoncookie]

Continuing on from my last post;

Right, so about that certain someone. After we see Burning Spice FUCKING MURDER SOMEONE, we get on to their rematch. And-

... Hm. Not normal. You're enjoying this a bit too much

During the fight, we get to see something interesting; Spice's own followers ditching him and Nutmeg Tiger, despite orders to go after Smoked Cheese. Not out of some sudden rush of conscience, no; but the realization that, no matter how hard they try, how closely they follow him, how much they embody everything he stands for, in the end, following him can only result in their own destruction. That they're better off escaping than dying for the sake of someone who couldn't care less what their fate is.

On top of that, we get to see one of my favorite tropes! A protagonist refuting the ideals of a "hero", admitting that they fight for reasons that on the surface could be seen as selfish and short-sighted, but that are born from a massive amount of care and emotion, loyalty, and a desire to protect what matters to them, rather than stopping a great evil, sticking to a rigid moral compass, or any sort of other pretentious ideals.

And we get to see, visibly, undeniably, just how far she's willing to go to protect that which she cares for. We get to see her closer to death than absolutely anyone else we've ever seen before, with visible damage, about to crumble into pieces. And, despite that, despite her state, she never stops fighting. Not for a second. No matter how close she is to death's door.

Alongside this, Smoked Cheese, at the end of an exhausting fight, has some words about his queen.

At the end of it all, her love is what makes her powerful. It's what will lead her to greatness, no matter what. Her bountiful nature is the gift she has to give to those around her, and what keeps her going. It's not logical, it's not rational, something which drives Smoked Cheese off the fucking wall, but even he has to admit that it doesn't have to be. That it's what got here where she is in the first place.

You'd think that this would be setup for something that happens later on, specially with the line "Sycophants, charlatans... even willful traitors... All of them have a place among her treasures. She embraced them all... with open arms.", instead of just being there so that Smoked Cheese can tell Nutmeg Tiger that her ruler sucks complete ass and his' doesn't, but... Well, we'll get to that later.

Anyways, back to the freak.

Again with this? I don't say this in an exasperated tone, I just think there's something severely wrong with him. He's just trying to get her to go feral like him for fun. Weirdo. Also, as I mentioned before, holy hell this is the most visceral it's ever gotten. We've never seen any other character this physically damaged, so close to actually crumbling. This entire arc continues to be unexpectedly brutal in every way it possibly could be, and honestly for what it's going for, it just works.

Also, I'm stuffing the below line into my pocket for later. You'll see why.

After this, Golden Cheese refutes every bit of Burning Spice's own mentality in much the same way I did the last post, and it gets under his skin. Really, really badly. To the point where he basically just ends the fight outright, more or less. ... Until Golden Cheese gets her obligatory powerup. It's cool as hell, and it works with the very same base that I mentioned earlier, of her care & love for everything she holds dear and her strong undying urge to protect it all until her last breath, an urge to protect her treasures, everyone who's filled her life with joy up to this point, and it's all strong enough to draw forth her soul jam and awaken her true power and all that other power of friendship stuff. Not anything too mind-blowing considering we've seen it before with Dark Cacao, but it certainly hits a bit harder because Golden Cheese is just a deeply lovable character who does not hesitate to wear her heart on her sleeve, a really warm presence who you want to see succeed simply because of how much her love and desire to give to others shape her every action.

As is to be expected; there is no third act breakdown from Burning Spice here. In fact, he's having the time of his life!

... And then. He. Just.

Gets hit once. And it's over.

...

Y. You. You j. HUH? HUH???

HUH??????????

WHAT. WHAT. WHAT. THE FUCK. ARE. YOU. DOING. THAT'S THE ENDING? THAT'S FUCKING IT? HE JUST GETS HIT ONCE AFTER GOLDEN CHEESE TRANSFORMS, GETS BURIED UNDER SOME RUBBLE, AND THEN YOU NOT ONLY HAVE GOLDEN CHEESE OUTRIGHT SAY THAT HE PROBABLY LIVED THAT BUT ALSO TEASE HIM BEING ALIVE AT THE END???

THAT'S IT? THAT'S THE FUCKING ENDING? THAT'S THE ENDING YOU GIVE TO WHAT WOULD HAVE OTHERWISE BEEN ONE OF OUR BEST STORIES YET?!?!??

WHAT. THE. FUCK. ARE. YOU. DOING. ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME POP A BLOOD VESSEL

THIS SUCKS! THIS ACTUALLY FUCKING SUCKS! THIS IS NOTHING! THIS MEANS NOTHING! YEAH YEAH YEAH GOOD CONQUERED EVIL WHATEVER IT'S NOT ONLY A GENERIC VILLAIN DEFEAT BUT A COMPLETELY UNCEREMONIOUS ONE FOR A CHARACTER WHO IS RIDICULOUSLY WELL WRITTEN AND WHO DESERVED MORE THAN JUST GETTING ONE-SHOT AFTER A SERIES OF REALLY WELL PACED CUTSCENES.

IT WAS ALL. SO. FUCKING. GOOD. ALL THE WAY THROUGH TO THE PART WHERE HE'S LAUGHING MANIACALLY AT HIS INCOMING DEMISE. IT WAS ALL SO GOOD. WE WERE SO CLOSE. AND THEN WHAT DO YOU DO? WHAT DO YOU FUCKING DO? NOT ONLY IS HE JUST OUT LIKE THAT, WITH EVERYONE WELL AWARE HE'S NOT DEAD, YOU HAVE NUTMEG TIGER COME BACK TO HIM, MEANING NEITHER OF THEM HAVE PROGRESSED IN ANY WAY WHATSOEVER, SMOKED CHEESE'S CONVERSATION WITH NUTMEG TIGER WAS ALMOST ENTIRELY POINTLESS, AND THIS WHOLE THING WAS RENDERED UTTERLY MEANINGLESS FUCKIGIIGNFRJGH GHRHRARAHGHRHGHEEJGHJSDG

Okay. Okay. Tantrum aside.

There are so many better ways of doing this. Like. So, so much better. Ways that not only hold more narrative weight, but don't set up a half-assed villain return later on that won't hit anywhere near as hard. Because, seriously, giving Spice another arc as a villain is a horrendous idea. Both from a gameplay and story perspective. The framing here was perfect, everything had gone off really well from start to finish all the way up until that last tiny bit of the story, and you're not going to get this sort of opportunity again. They fumbled. Really. Really hard.

For one...

Hey. Golden Cheese. Remember when you said this?

JUST TAKE HIS FUCKING SOUL JAM

ALL THE BEASTS CAN DO IT WITHOUT ANY EXPLANATION, WHY CAN'T SHE?? WHY ISN'T SHE, SOMEONE WHO IS FULLY OK WITH STEALING FROM SOMEONE SO LONG AS THEY DESERVE IT, SOMEONE WHO EARLIER SAID BURNING SPICE ISN'T DESERVING OF HIS POSITION AS A GOD, SOMEONE WHO WOULD BE MORE THAN WILLING TO THROW IT INTO HER TREASURE PILE, COMPLETELY UNABLE TO TAKE IT, EVEN AFTER BEATING HIM?!?!??!

It would genuinely be that! Fucking! Easy! And guess what? Guess fucking what? IT OPENS UP SO MANY WRITING OPPORTUNITIES! SO, SO MANY! Nutmeg Tiger no longer has a god to worship, the power that gave Spice a hold over his army is now gone, he has to live out as a commoner, not a god, because he never deserved to be a god, not in the slightest. Have GC say something like "you are not a god, you're an impulsive, reckless fool. you do not deserve the power of a god. you're a commoner. nothing less, nothing more." and then take away his soul jam and you're good!!

HELL, IT COULD SET UP A GOOD, BELIEVABLE REDEMPTION ARC, "Sycophants, charlatans... even willful traitors... All of them have a place among her treasures. She embraced them all... with open arms.", IT'S SO EASY, IT HAS ACTUAL SETUP, YOU COULD HAVE SPICE BE A COMMON MORTAL COOKIE THAT HAS TO FEND FOR HIMSELF, EVENTUALLY BEING FORCED INTO A POSITION WHERE HE HAS TO FIND A ROOF TO PUT OVER HIS HEAD IF HE WANTS TO SURVIVE, AND HAVING GOLDEN CHEESE BE THE FIRST PERSON TO OFFER THAT, WHETHER OR NOT SPICE IS WILLING TO IMMEDIATELY ACCEPT IT. YOU'D HAVE A PROPER THIRD ACT BREAKDOWN WHEN HIS SOUL JAM IS TAKEN AWAY WITH SPICE BEING ACTIVELY REFUSED A WARRIOR'S DEATH, BEING GIVEN AN ANTI-CLIMAX, NOT A GLORIOUS DEFEAT BUT A LOSS OF POWER AND A REFUSAL TO END THE FIGHT ON HIS TERMS, COMPLETELY REFUSING TO STOOP TO HIS LEVEL AND FORCING HIM OUT OF A POSITION OF POWER WHILE YOU'RE AT IT

ALL THIS. ALL THESE WRITING OPPORTUNITIES. AND MORE THAT THE COMMUNITY HAS LIKELY ALREADY COME UP WITH. WASTED. COMPLETELY. NOTHING. ALL FOR A QUICK, GENERIC, BLAND, FLACCID, DEVOID-OF-IMPACT VILLAIN DEFEAT.

Ooooohhh my god I am so worked up about this. We were this close. we were this fucking close to peak fiction. We could have had it all. But they fumbled right at the end.

I... I think I'm just going to completely ignore this ending's existence. If they do anything else with Spice from this point onwards? It doesn't exist to me. I'm not looking. Because whatever they do, it won't wash away the bitter taste of the complete fumble they just pulled. In my heart, he got his soul jam taken away, had to find a way to survive on his own, and ended up living in the Golden Cheese Kingdom (out of a lack of any other options and ideas of a potential soul jam recovery from the inside that would eventually be all forgotten about) where he was given a chance to return to normalcy and heal and be free of the burden of immortality.

I'm gonna go tear a hole in a wall with my bare teeth now. See you all.

[thecheshirerat]

On TAZ-

Wow that sounds like I’m about to summarize some sort of discourse but I promise I’m not. I guess I’ll say that I really like this show and I will keep listening even if my worst fears come to pass, so keep that in mind!

For reference, I started listening near the end of Amnesty.

I’ve noticed, with the past few arcs- really since Ethersea- the narratives have just… not been fulfilling their promises, so to speak. They’ve been placing a lot of guns that don’t go off. What I mean by that is, the characters are great. Excellent, really. Lady Godwin? HELL YES. Emerich Dreadway? Fuck yeah! And so on! And the settings and premises have been epic- the goofiness and also horrifying nature of Engrave, the mad and thrilling world of Steeplechase- these things are COOL AS FUCK.

and then the actual narratives keep flopping?

And honestly, I notice it most in the endings, because you can really tell when an ending doesn’t land. You feel the sense of disappointment. But with vs. Dracula, for example, I could kinda see leading up to it that the ending couldn’t really BE anything special, because they lowkey didn’t set themselves up for it.

They spent the campaign fucking around in Engrave, finding clues and solving problems and not really experiencing any particularly meaningful character arcs or growth or, idk, forming relationships? So there wasn’t much to pay off, I’m not gonna lie!

Of course it doesn’t feel quite as dissatisfying when you’re in the thick of it, because they’re funny and the stuff is cool and- oh hey! Lady Godwin’s been turned into a werehorse against her will?? that’s got some real potential for a LOT of allegories and exploration of some fun character development! And then it’s kinda played as a joke. And then they do that again and again.

And they actually said that that was a move they made intentionally, in the TTAZZ. I’m not quoting them perfectly here, this is from memory, but I do remember them mentioning that they wanted lighthearted comedy without the burden of real life story stuff. And I get that, honestly, but… it’s not the choice I would’ve made. I do think you can keep a lighthearted tone while also, idk, forming relationships and wholesomely engaging with some amount of emotion. And sometimes going way too deep is funny as a tone shift!

But I digress. One thing that’s also popped out to me is the almost complete lack of any kind of romantic storyline or even references. This becomes obvious if you’re in a fandom because everyone is always dying to ship SOMEONE, and you can tell when people are really getting desperate. I don’t blame them for not wanting to roleplay romance with their family, and I do think stories lacking romance are COOL and SHOULD BE ENCOURAGED!

However if you can’t find ANYBODY to ship together… that may mean you just don’t have character bonds. The growing popularity of the PC polycule is interesting to me; I wonder if it’s partially because

a) none of the pcs have significant relationships outside of their party and

b) even within the party, there doesn’t seem to be much chemistry between any given pair of characters…? I hope I’m making my point well here- the PCs all seem equally close and have more or less the same relationship to all of their compatriots with little distinction, meaning, essentially, no shipping fodder that doesn’t involve just all of ‘em.

Either way, it makes me wonder if I can blame the “Graduation has too many NPCs!” critique. They really stopped giving the parties tag-along main NPCs after graduation, with the exception of maybe.. Urchin? Kodira? Shlabethany? Poppy? and even they get relatively little “screen” time. Steeplechase has great NPCs, I love them to death, but none of the PCs seem to ever have one on one conversations with NPCs or each other that do not explicitly focus on the plot. And I think that’s part of why the characters feel so underdeveloped despite having spent a lot of time with them- because in this character-driven genre, we get very little insight into their feelings or motivations or even their rudimentary backstories.

I started watching Fantasy High recently and it made me realize a couple things about TAZ.

1) Recently, TAZ has sooo few core NPCs, and it’s weird that the characters aren’t doing more one-on-one purely character based scenes. And that makes it really tough to develop them.

2) TAZ is- and I should have realized this before- one of many good dnd podcasts. They’re probably looking for a niche they can master.

And it sounds like they’re trying to get back to that old “Here there be Gerblins!” energy. They’ve referenced it so many times in recent TTAZZes- they wanted to be job-focused, allowing story stuff to happen organically, so they tried a more open world vibe with Ethersea. They wanted to be less afraid to kill stuff, so they tried playing criminals (and were still afraid to kill stuff). They wanted to be silly and light on character, as they tackled with taz vs dracula. Now they’re trying to bring in the silly cartoon vibe with Abnimals. I think they’re trying to make that family-friendly, funny and goofy show their niche. Something other actual plays can’t be better at them at.

And honestly it kinda makes me sad, that they keep trying to go back to Balance while ignoring everything they learned during it. Because I loved Dust. Because I loved Amnesty. Because I loved Ethersea. I loved these past arcs! But they keep doing their brilliant characters dirty for some reason!!! And i don’t know why!!!!

You know that meme about people who ask questions in movies and then the person responds “Have you ever been to a movie before? You watch them and the information is revealed.” There have been so many times in TAZ recently where information has Not been revealed and if they keep doing it the audience will stop bothering to suspend their disbelief, because the trust just isn’t there.

What is Montrose’s deal? What on earth was Carmine Denton’s whole thing? Tell me more about Zoox’s feelings, about Devo’s past, about Amber’s future. Show me how Lady Godwin feels about the body horror that is her life- like, seriously! WHY DID WE HAVE TO COMPLETELY DISMISS THE OPPORTUNITY TO DISCUSS GENERATIONAL TRAUMA IN MUTT’S LIFE FOR A JOKE??

Do you remember in Steeplechase where the boys were getting medical attention or something- i don’t remember, but they were all in one room and only talking about The Plot. And Poppy literally banged on the door (speaking for both Justin and me, tbh) and was like “does anyone want to share any feeeeelings??” and they were like NOPE! and they moved on!!

like. cmon. you can’t just put a character like montrose out there and then leave them severely underdeveloped to the point that what would be interesting in proper context, with audience insight, becomes confusing and chaotic.

I just wish they would take their stories as seriously as we do.

It feels to me like they don’t believe in themselves, and it makes me sad. Maybe they didn’t get the response they wanted from Ethersea and so they’ve been trying to pivot, hoping to recapture whatever it was that earned them a loyal audience.

Again, I love them. They’re so funny and I’ll keep listening until the day they stop making this show, and when it happens I’ll cry.

But i KNOW they have more in them. Remember the “we’ll grow gills” monologue from Justin in the Prologues? Remember Travis’s SOLID acting with Devo? Or his awesome choice to give Lyndon/Beef a clearly delineated work/irl identity? His excellent narration and prose? Remember when Montrose described being lonely?! Remember all those moments where Shit Got Real and you cared??? The nanofather said some dope shit! dracula and victor and sweater dracula had such a wild dynamic! Clint’s acting in Dust 2- I can’t remember the characters name right now- was ASTOUNDING, I genuinely didn’t know he had that in him and it blew me away!

I’m not referencing Balance on purpose, both because the fandom is way to hung up on it and because I want to prove that you don’t even have to look at Balance, or even Post-Balance arcs, to see this kind of good cool stuff!

GAAAAAAAGHHHH!!! I want them to have fun. But also. We’re starving out here.

[dr-spectre]

Guess who turned 7 years old?

SPLATOON 2!!!!! Everyone's favourite Splatoon game!!!! Right? Right guys....? We love Splatoon 2 yeah....? It's the best one right.....? Totally not gonna become the middle child of the series that gets overshadowed by the new fresh Splatoon 3 and the nostalgia of the first game right.....?

Okay, jokes aside about if Splatoon 2 is actually good or not. This was the game that actually got me into Splatoon, I knew about the series since it's announcement but I couldn't play the first game because like the rest of general public, I didn't own a wii u. Still don't but I would love to have one to mod. (And play Splatoon 1 online with fan servers...)

I think Splatoon 2 really did bring a lot of cool stuff to the table and it had a lot of quality of life features and interesting weapon, sub and special concepts.

It gave us the dualies!! THE DUALIES! I LOVE THE DUALIES!

It gave us the brellas! Which.... were kinda bad at launch and still are bad till this day....

BUT! I dont wanna talk about weapons because thats BORING! I wanna talk about one of the best things Splatoon 2 gave us...

OFF THE HOOK! PEARL AND MARINA! These girls are some of the most popular characters in the series and for good reason. They are both funny, likeable, charming, witty and have developed backstories by the time Octo Expansion comes around. Plus their chemistry is top-notch and so damn CUTE! It's almost has if they are somehow more than friends and that kind of connection is canon and people who try to deny it are fucking idiots and will never be in a relationship of their own.....

Also Splatoon 2 gave us a pretty solid hero mode at launch, sure it was basically more Splatoon 1 hero mode but hey, the first hero mode was fun so more of the same is fine by me. Plus you get Marie's classic snark too while you go through levels, she's nice company surprisingly. Way better than some old ass crusty dude...

It also gave us....

totally didn't fuck up my mental health this year and last year and caused me chest pain and discomfort until I had to dig and dig AND DIG for knowledge just to salvage it and make sure my favourite character in the fucking series was given the respect she deserves....

....hypno/octo Callie.... totally didn't fuck up this villain arc for her huh Nintendo? Totally didn't throw away the depth you built up (and was shown in concept art) only to try and hastily fix it 2 years later with an obscure relationship chart no one fucking talks about, not even the timeline explainers...

totally didn't use the wrong terminology to describe her situation and made everything so much worse because you wanted a simple black and white story for the kiddies yeah Nintendo? Despite you making stuff grey in the dlc expansion so the both story modes now clash like oil and water theme wise.

And yet you still treat her like dirt. Still using the wrong poorly localised words. If I still gotta repeat to the sky one more time that callie was under hypnosis and not forceful brainwashing I might have a stroke. You can't even fucking brainwash someone with hypnosis because the limitation of hypnosis is that the person under it must be fully comfortable with the suggestion and the suggestion cannot go agaisnt their morals and ideology. AND GUESS WHAT BRAINWASHING IS! FORCING DIFFERENT IDEOLOGIES INTO SOMEONE'S HEAD! DO YOU GET WHY I HAVE AN ISSUE NOW?!?!?! JUST USE THE WORD HYPNOTISED NINTENDO! THATS ALL YOU GOTTA DO!! ILL BE SOOO HAPPY!!!

YOU TOO INKIPEDIA! I CAUGHT YOU USING THE WORD TOO MULTIPLE TIMES! you better change it... just change brainwashed to hypnotised and I would literally kiss you on the lips or something idk... I love you inkipedia but that's all you gotta change okay? Pretty please? With a cherry on top?

ENOUGH OF THAT! I WANNA TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE!!!

Do you know what else Splatoon 2 gave us?

OCTO EXPANSION BABY! I know people love to call this overrated now but I really don't care. It's not overrated, it's perfectly rated. It also gave us PLAYABLE OCTOLINGS! Which was a highly requested thing people really really wanted and they gave us what we asked for! Even though they lacked a lot of customisation options.... still do till this day... (Nintendo is it really that hard to come up with new hair? The community has been doing that for years for you man.)

And of course... the last thing I want to talk about...

This is probably my favourite Splatfest to date. It brought in a lot of actual genuine philosophical discussion on what kind of world is best, a world of chaos? Or a world of order? I chose team chaos because when the youtuber/streamer Etika was still around he chose team chaos and I chose that team because of him... rest in peace...

The shifty station too was phenomenonal as you got to hear Fly Octo Fly and Pearl would come in AND YOU GOT TO USE HER PRINCESS CANON!!!! IT WAS SO FUCKING COOL AHHHH!!!

God Pearl is so cool... i can't believe I actually used to dislike her. I wanna beat up teen me so badly for having such bad takes. Marina is hot sure, but, Pearl is just so fucking funny. Man what was wrong with 13 to 17 year old me....

Anyways, I wanted to ramble about Splatoon 2. It's pretty special to me as it was the reason I am here today, so I can't really criticise it as much as others do. Well... aside from one obvious thing but, I've done that many times.

Also, before I go... NINTENDO!!! BRING BACK SHIFTY STATIONS FOR SPLATOON 4!!! DO IT!!! STOP BEING COWARDS!!!!

[firestorm09890]

stray canto vii part 1 thoughts (warning: long)

so many cool new designs!! it made me realize how few of interest we got in Canto VI. Then almost everything was pretty standard (classic maid and butler outfits, lots of suits, Cathy had a fancy dress at least? and everything was brown. yes I know, T Corp color drain, but still. and Öufi came before season 3 ended so that didn’t count), but this time we have Camille, the P Corp guys, Fanghunt Office, Hugo I guess, Hong Lu’s sister, the firefist guy? if he counts? he barely appeared, Sansón, and all the fancy dressed up bloodfiends. woo babey!!

speaking of Jia Xichun, I like her! She’s cute! I didn’t expect to see anyone related to Hong Lu, but in retrospect I probably should’ve, since his turn is next and his family is massive. I hope nothing bad happens to her. I've never read Dream of the Red Chamber

also speaking of Hugo, lol. lmao. when he was talking about pressing the button to get the reward I was like “oh hopkins 2, got it” and then Ryōshū sliced off his hands so I guess… not hopkins 2

ALSO the blonde Fanghunt guy is named Romero, which is apparently the name of a character in Vampire: The Masquerade. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was an intentional reference

Sinclair cursing that one guy out was so awesome. I remember when Canto V part 2 came out and he censored himself saying “Bitch Brother” people were worried that the new translators were making him softer than he actually was, but, nah, he tries his best to be a polite boy but when he’s actually genuinely pissed off he does not hold back. Ryōshū correcting him BUT THEN SAYING HIS INTERPRETATION WAS GOOD absolutely killed me. my son demands respect

it’s a good day to be a Leviathan fan

The scripted loss encounter was so cool. They set you to level 45 no matter what level your LCB Don is, and take away all your EGO except the base (which you can’t even use), and I don’t know how far you can actually get in this fight because I flipped tails every single time and lost every clash

let’s talk about the Barber! leave it to Project Moon to look at the character who didn’t have very much of a personality who stuck around with the priest and attempted multiple plans to bring Don Quixote back home so he could become sane again (and burned a bunch of Quixote’s chivalry books, also with the priest), and turned him into an insane vampire woman with big scissors and a shrill cackle who stitches masks onto people’s faces.

interesting choice to have Sancho and Dulcinea both named in a single line and then not acknowledged or mentioned again

Sansón! so based on his story log portrait background being bisexual, the blue name, and him resembling someone in Demian’s group in the Limbus Company PV, I feel confident saying he’s part of Demian’s Group. The spot where his Sign would be is covered by his mask, though, so no one in-universe knows

I think this is why Sinclair was cast in the role of the Knight of the White Moon: he also has the sign, which Sansón (who is the Knight of the White Moon) would be able to see, and even if other sinners have it too, they’re not Demian’s special guy. everyone else, though, seemed to be cast in the most humiliating role possible: horse to be ridden for Gregor, wild animal for Heathcliff, random peasant for Rodya, presumably homeless old person for Outis

ok Sansón. in the book, he’s a young college student who read the first part of Don Quixote and, in part 2, approaches Quixote saying he’s a big fan and encouraging him to go back out and do more knight stuff. However, he actually just thinks Don Quixote’s antics are very amusing and isn’t actually an earnest supporter, and is conspiring with the barber and priest to get Quixote back home to stay. the way they (priest and barber try to bring him home in part 1 is by tricking him with an adventure that’s conveniently in the same direction as their home village, but then they get sidetracked in an inn for a long time so they just put him in a cage and drive him home. in part 2, they want to play on Quixote’s terms for a more effective result. near the beginning of the second part, they have Sansón dress as a knight (called the Knight of Mirrors/Knight of the Forest. these titles have no significance in the book but apparently the mirror thing forces Quixote to see himself as the frail old man he is in Man of La Mancha), say his lady is fairer than Dulcinea to get Don Quixote to duel him, and then make Quixote promise to stay home for a year when he loses. however, Sansón is the one who loses, because he wasn’t expecting Quixote to actually be good at jousting. Later, near the very end, which iirc is 3 months after the first encounter, another knight called the Knight of the White Moon issues the exact same challenge to Don Quixote (it’s just Sansón again, and "White Moon" has no significance in the original book either), but this time Sansón wins, so Don Quixote goes home, dejected, and then becomes “sane” again and dies.

Since this Sansón is part of Demian’s group, I don’t think his intentions will be the same- the Barber was a bloodfiend, and he sees beyond the ambitions of the bloodfiends now- but it’s fun to know how he is in the source nonetheless

I really like how he didn’t show up after the Barber’s defeat to say something cryptic and then leave, he told us quite a bit, and though his methods were… questionable, he DID force the sinners to actually finally pay attention to Don Quixote

speaking of the stage play, I like the juxtaposition between Sansón’s play and the Barber’s. in a different context, what Sansón did might’ve been framed as horrifying, and we’d be talking about how uncanny and unreal this is, but I don’t think that’s the intention here. the sinners might be playing roles, and all the enemies are cardboard cutouts, but it’s better than putting targets on real people (though I guess they’re not “people”, they’re bad, bad, bloodfiends). the cheerful music in La Manchaland is distorted and out of place, while the stage play is nice in comparison. the music for the talking sections is a bit too upbeat for the situation, but the music during the battles really immerses you. guitar! trumpet! maraca! this music is clearly composed to emulate spanish music, and it’s very earnest, which I think is important, with how easily music sets tone in media.

in both cases, Don Quixote is in a delusion. nothing in the stage play of her adventures is real, but she’s also completely wrapped up in the narrative of evil bloodfiends without the knowledge that she is one. a violent nightmare and a peaceful dream, both of which she needs to wake up from.

they both do this thing with black-and-white thinking, too. there’s a difference between the “good” bloodfiends, which you should get along with, and the “bad” ones, which you need to kill (though Don sees them both as bad), and then the bandits in the stage play are cartoonishly evil and love to bully the weak. except it seems the first is the narrative the Barber wanted to sell, while the second is Don Quixote’s reality… I mean, the play is definitely inaccurate, but we’ve seen how Don behaves

if you follow me for kingdom hearts and are for some reason reading this you know how much I love Nobodies in kh. people who used to be human, but aren’t anymore, who look close enough but are different on an intrinsic and physiological level, that everyone automatically treats as unreasonable monsters that need to die when they’re more complicated than that… I love it so much, I’m cheering and clapping whenever bloodfiend morality is brought up. Moses said that Larierre was cordial and offered her a place to sit and talk, but then also said bloodfiends are insatiably hungry and you shouldn’t underestimate them. agh I love it

also THE MUSIIIIIC every fight theme so far has been a banger. songs that were already good but with typical carnival instruments, big brass swing, the aforementioned nice spanish music, and the fucked up and evil sequel to dubstep electroswing featuring evil laughter

and finally, the helm of mambrino. in early part 1 of Don Quixote, he sees a barber (COMPLETELY unrelated barber to the other barber btw) carrying a basin on his head, and thinks it’s the amazing mystical Helm of Mambrino, so he attacks the barber and steals the basin. Don Quixote wears it as a helmet a few times and everyone thinks it looks really stupid. they did not fight a bear for it, nor did they go into a cave. idk what this might actually be in the City. either we’ll see or we won’t

[bellalaufeyson69]

Peter Quill x Reader

Jealous FWB

Description: Peter and Yn have a friends with benefits type deal. Yn is always secretly jealous of Peters other girls he brings around but she deals with it. Though one day to Peter’s surprise Yn actually has herself a boy of her own. Peter doesn’t like that at all and feels rather territorial.

Wc ♡ 6.6k

Masterlist ♡

Warnings ♡ suggestive content, swearing

———

Peter and I have been friends with benefits for a long time. Our agreement started after Gamora died and came back a totally different person: someone who didn’t love Peter anymore. I was going through a bad breakup at the time too so we agreed to be each others rebound until we were back on our feet.

Our agreement started with cuddling and kissing. I have this thing where I don’t have sex unless I’m in love, but after so long of having this innocent friends with benefits with Peter I felt I’ve known him so long and I trusted him enough to add it in. So that’s what we were, basically a couple without the label. Neither of us thought about it or what it meant which made it a-lot easier. It was really a go with the flow type of thing.

That’s what I like to tell myself that is. Since we’re just friends we have the freedom to do whatever we want with whoever we want. Peter definitely takes that freedom to use. He’s always been the smooth player type who could bed a decent amount of women. He’s outgoing and shoots his shot, sometimes he gets denied others he doesn’t but it never bothers him either way he just goes with the flow. I on the other hand am not nearly outgoing as he is and I also don’t find any interest in having sex with a bunch of random men. Not that I’ll tell Peter that. Part of me wants him to wonder what do I. That desire is what worries me the most. “Hey,” Peter came in from the hall and left a kiss on my cheek. “I’m gonna be with a chick from knowhere tonight I already told the rest of the gang, is it cool if I use the living room?” He nonchalantly questioned as he grabbed a few chips from the open bag on the coffee table and popping them into his mouth, then plopping down onto the couch.

The thought of him with another girl never used to bother me until we started having sex. It’s my own fault really, it’s because sex isn’t something loose for me, I don’t just do it with anyone. It’s always only been someone special, someone I loved, or someone I knew and trusted for a long time. The realization that I’d given my body to someone and that person taking it, then going around and doing a bunch of other girls right after made my stomach sink. Feels kind of gross. In a degrading way (again my own fault), and also in a… jealous way.

“Hey, did you hear me?” He questioned from his spot on the couch his feet now kicked up on the coffee table.

I quickly snapped out of my jealous trance and nodded my head. “Yeah sorry, I was thinking about the stuff I gotta do today” I lied giving him an innocent smile. “That’s cool with me, just let me know when she leaves I wanna watch my show” This was my way of finding out what him and that wh- girl where really going to do.

He gave a cocky chuckle. “Oh you’ll be waiting a long time then,” he smirked with a tilted head giving me a look that said ‘we’re gonna be doing bad things’. “We’ll probably take it into my room though…” he paused his sentence for a moment in thought. “I mean I can text you when I take her into my room so you can come out if you want…” he said a little more awkwardly now. We both knew that him texting me that was basically him texting me that he was currently boning another girl.

I felt a growing pit of pure rage building up inside of me. I wanted nothing more than for this girl to never show up. No scratch that, for her to show up and for me to punch her in the face. How humiliating is that, the guy I hook up with is going out and banging another girl under the same roof I sleep, he kisses my cheek when the other girls leave, he cuddles me and watches movies, tells me jokes, takes care of me when I’m sick, then fucks another girl. “Ahhh that’s okay, I don’t feel like waiting around all night for a text” I replied through a slightly passive aggressive tone.

He definitely caught that and was a little taken aback by it. His mouth opened for a second then shut again canceling out whatever comment he was about to make. “Okay,” he pursed his lips together and looked around for a second before standing up and walking out of the room.

“Well that was awkward” Rocket noted from the corner of the room where he sat messing with a box of wires.

My face reddened at the realization he’d been there the whole time. “Uhm,” I was at a loss for words because truthfully neither Peter or I ever told anyone about our relationship status. We just kinda snuck around, so I have no idea what’s going on in Rockets head right now. “I-“

“I don’t get why he thinks it’s not weird for us to have to evacuate certain rooms of the ship because some girls coming over and he wants to do gross things with her,” he continued on after noticing I wasn’t really ever gonna get out with a full sentence.

His comment made me feel pretty good. “Yeah! Thank you!” I agreed feeling very understood. Nobody cares what stupid girl you’re with Peter. “Like keep it to yourself dude!” I complained feeling myself get a little too hyper about the situation.

Rocket tilted his head at my energy toward this almost as if he was piecing together my secrete rage jealousy toward the situation. “Yeah…” he trailed looking at me in deep thought before snapping out of it. “Well, that’s Quill” he shrugged then started sifting the wires again.

I decided to go and get ready for our arrival on knowhere. We were originally stopping for fuel but now it’s that and Quills booty call. Like he didn’t already have someone to do that for him on the ship. I thought to myself as I dug through my closet for a cute shirt. Am I not good enough? That he has me as a choice but proceeds to go out and bring someone else in like I’m not even here? I picked out a tight white crop top that fit my body perfectly. It was one of my favorite shirts that I always pair with a cute skirt. Maybe she’s better than me in bed. I grimaced while yanking my shirt over my head. I shook those thoughts out of my mind as they were only getting me riled up. I stood and inspected myself in the mirror to take in my very Earthy style. A tight white crop top, white and light blue plaid skirt with grey Nike Air Force 1 high tops. I spun to look at myself from the back when I heard a knock on the door. Not that the knock mattered any because Peter had already been opening it as he was knocking.

“Hey, oooohh,” he grinned while eyeing my outfit from the door. “I like” he sauntered over and wrapped his arms around my waist from behind me as we looked into the mirror.

I can’t show any hint of negative emotion because I don’t want Peter connecting it to the this dumb girl. So I do my best to fester up a happy little smile. “Thanks” I put my hands over his as he leaned in and kissed my neck a few times softly.

“You guys are all going to go up to Xardecks to hangout and drink, it should be fun” he informed placing his head in the nape of my neck while swaying us. “Just as long as Rocket and Drax behave” he snickers at the thought of those two ever behaving while drinking.

Ordinarily this would be really fun to me but right now I can’t help but to be a pessimist because the thought of him ditching us for a girl is firing me up. The worst part is that he’s sitting here talking to me like it’s no big deal. Which is what I agreed to… I hate that. “Yeah that’s true, we’ll see” I gave a fake laugh before pulling myself from his grip. “How far are we?” I asked while grabbing my phone from my dresser.

He placed his hands in his pockets. “We’re here actually.” He smiled warmly thinking that this would’ve made me excited. Nope, just a sick feeling in my stomach.

I nodded trying my best to not show the pure disinterest in this conversation. “Cool, is everyone ready to go then?” I asked glancing to the door then back at Peter.

He nodded his head. “Yep, ready to get absolutely plastered,” he joked and stepped closer to me taking my hand into his and leading me to the door frame. “I wish I could be there to witness drunk YN, she’s my favorite” he smirked then pulled me into him and held my hand to his chest while rubbing it with his thumb. His eyes darted around my face taking in my features with a small smile before slowly going in and placing a soft and slow kiss on my lips. “Have fun tonight, don’t do anything I would do” he grinned before letting go of my hand and stepping out of the room.

I followed him out into the hall. “Wouldn’t dream of it” I teased earning a silly look from Peter.

We all piled out of the ship and headed into town in a jardec. What the rest of the galaxy calls their version of Uber. A very fancy space car, and or little pod controlled by a bot. Once we got there Peter parted from us, and the rest of us went into Xardecks, a pretty awesome bar/ club we always went to whenever we’d visited Knowhere.

We walked into the building and set for the bars through the sea of drunken aliens. The crowd was a mix of pretty much everything, all types of people and aliens all mingling together which was basically what Knowhere itself consisted of. Drax lead the way as he was always our little body guard who’d shove through anyone to get a spot at the bar. I’d always been too shy to 1 even get a spot at the bar and 2 be seen by the bartender to order a drink. Drax always had both fronts covered. Sometimes Groot was a little mischievous like right now seeing as he’s extending a branch behind the bartenders back to steal an entire three bottles of some random liquor. He turned to us with a wide smile of excitement to which we all cheered him on, except Nebula who’d seemed pretty annoyed to be in the bar at all.

We took the secret bottles and made our way over to the booths and quickly staked our claim at an empty one, placing down our items and the drinks on the table. These boothes were curved booths with only one side and a table in front of it. We always picked the booths at the back of the building because they were next to the weird fights that they had going on with little alien creatures. The guys loved to place bets and instigate other peoples losses. “Okay, who’s taking a shot with me?” I asked while unscrewing the lid of the bottle and taking a sniff. Immediately I’d cringed at the strong scent of the alcohol which made Rocket and Drax laugh historically.

“Let us handle that sweetheart.” Rocket insisted with a cocky attitude as he swiped the bottle from me and took a few chugs. “Whooh. That’s good” he took a scan of his surroundings before patting Drax on the shoulder. “What are the odds that that guy in the blue punches that dude in the yellow?” He pointed out two men who’d seemingly been placing bets on the creatures.

“If that man punches that man I will buy you five shots!” Drax offered full of excitement at the possibility of violence.

Rocket perked up at the comment before grabbing the second bottle of the three and sliding it over to Drax. “Hell yeah, and if not Vice versa. Take this buddy we’re gonna have some fun” Rocket led Drax off over into the chaos of chanting men. Groot stayed for a minute but not without longing looks for his best friend, eventually he’d apologetically left to go and find them leaving me, Nebula, and Mantis at the booth.

We’d all been sharing the last bottle of liquor passing it around in a little circle. “I wish Peter was here, I feel like we’d be having more fun” Mantis sighed as she sat in the booth watching all the people around us dancing, drinking, or doing something crazy. Her comment made me kind of sad because she was completely right. Whenever we went out with Peter he’d always made sure every single one of us was having fun, there was no sitting down, we were all dancing, drinking, and having fun.

Nebula just silently nodded in agreement while her finger traced the table in boredom. “Yeah, me too,” I admitted somewhat sadly. “Enough of that though, let’s get drunk!” I exclaimed trying to hype everyone up. I plucked the bottle from the table and took a big chug. “Common Mantis your turn lets go!!” I chanted pushing the bottle to her. She smiled widely at my energy and took a big chug but not without a cringe after at the strength of the liquor.

“Common Nebula!!” Mantis joined in the changing which definitely made me feel pretty good. We’d both been chanting on Nebula while she took like four chugs being a little show off. “Yeah nebula!!!!” She yelled out waving her hands in the air.

It’s safe to say us girls were definitely feeling it now. We’d definitely started to get a lot more chaotic and a lot more loud. We’d gotten to about a quarter left of the bottle and we’d been sharing funny embarrassing memories of the boys that have happened over the years. “Oh my gosh I have one!!” Mantis slurred grabbing me and Nebula’s arm. “This one time, we were on Earth and it was during one of the Earth celebrations, E-uh- eister?”

I laughed hysterically at her mistake. The liquor definitely made everything ten times more funny. “It’s Easter” I corrected still giggling.

“Easter!! It was Easter and there were soooo many plastic eggs with candy, Drax picked one up thinking it was a real birds egg but he ended up dropping it to find the candy inside. He picked up a few more eggs off the ground and kept opening them to find more candy, he started FREAKING out saying that the birds on this planet gave birth to candy,” she laughed the entire time while trying to explain the story which made even Nebula laugh a little.

“He’s such an idiot” Nebula smiled enjoying the story. She was drunk as a skunk, her head swaying as she listened to us talk. She was smiling a lot more now than on a sober day. Drunk Nebula is so fun.

I went to go and tell another story when I’d noticed Mantis’s eyes shifted somewhere behind me. “Hey ladies,” a few voices spoke from behind me. I turned around and was met with two guys, one of them was jaw droppingly attractive. “I couldn’t help but notice your bottle was getting pretty low,” hot guys friend motioned toward the bottle.

“We’d love to get you a new one if you’d offer us a seat? There’s so many people here, all the booths are taken” hot guy offered with a polite smile, making sure to make eye contact with each of us girls.

I quickly turned my head to the two knowing full and well Nebula would be the only one to disagree. Though to my surprise she’d just happily shrugged. “Eh why not, but make it two bottles of whatever this is” she slid over the bottle to the boys. The blonde (hot guys friend) picked up the bottle to inspect its label. “Ahh, okay sure, two bottles for a seat, we’ve got ourselves a deal,” he smiled before they both went off to the bar to retrieve the liquor.

As soon as they left I whipped my head around to the girls with a wide grin. “That brown haired guy was SO HOT,” I leaned in excitedly.

Mantis was thriving in my good mood and nodded along with me. “He was very handsome! You should make him your boooyyfriend” she dragged out the last word teasingly with a playful smile.

The thought of that made my heart flutter just a little bit. She’s gonna make me delulu talking like that. “He wasn’t terrible” nebula chimed in.

“So, what I’m hearing is that I should flirt with him?” I asked the group and received all yes’s. I slapped a hand over my mouth feeling the adrenaline kick in. “Guys! I can’t, I don’t know what to say!” I whined as if it weren’t my own idea. I turned to see where they were and luckily I did because they were approaching with three bottles in their hands. I looked back at the girls with a finger to my lips signaling them to be quiet about my little crush.

“We decided on three, that way we can all share,” hot guy informed as Mantis scooted over to the left side next to Nebula and I followed her movement to give the boys some space. Hot guy started to get into the booth before his friend paused his motion.

“Oh wait, my buddy says he thinks he knows you, come here real quick I’m gonna show you a picture of him” the friend waved me over out of the booth. I scooted my way out and over to him to glance at the phone at some random guy.

With a furrowed brow I shook my head. “No, I don’t know him. Must be thinking of someone else”

He nodded in acceptance. “Ah, I figured, no harm in seeing though right?” He smiled warmly and I nodded my head back with a yeah.

When we’d turned to get back in the booth he was quick to get in first and get a spot next to Mantis. That sly dog. I grinned at the realization, hot guy slid in next leaving the last spot open for me.

“So girls, who’s gonna take the first drink?” Hot guy asked while him and his friend opened the lids to two of the bottles.

“Why don’t you-“ Mantis began but got stuck on his name. “What is your name?! We don’t even know?” She laughed leaning over the table in her drunken state.

“I’m Malcom,” the hot guy introduced giving each of us a hand shake. When his hand touched mine it was warm, and soft. I glanced up and made accidental eye contact which sent butterflies soaring through my stomach.

“Nice to meet you Malcom,” I smiled flirtatiously. Drunk me was a whole different girl. I had some pretty decent confidence and flirting skills, because if anything went wrong my motto is that it was the liquor talking not me.

“Lovis,” the other introduced copying his friends actions of shaking our hands.

The three of us introduced ourselves to the guys back. “Well Malcom, and Lovis I think you’re due for the first drink since you bought them” I playfully poked pushing the bottles to both of them.

They played around like I was crazy for saying that then both took massive chugs. “That’s strong stuff! You girls are crazy!” Lovis let out an exhale after drinking it and passed it over to Mantis with a mischievous smile. “Your turn”

We all watched Mantis with a smile as she took her turn, Lovis cheered her on. The bottle went over to Nebula but she took a sip and kept it which made us laugh. We decided to let her do her thing and crack open another bottle. Lovis went to take a sip before Malcom stopped him.

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s Mrs. Yn’s turn” he turned to me with an adorable smile before grabbing the bottle from his friend and handing it over. “Let’s see it!” He encouraged.

I smiled back. “Thank you,” I specifically looked at Malcom to tease the fact that Lovis had stolen my turn which made the boys laugh. I took a little sip and put it down.

“Booo” lovis bellowed out making Nebula and Mantis laugh.

“ahh common, you can do better than that!” Malcom pushed the bottle back over. He wrapped his other arm around the back of the booth where I sat, just inches away from being around my shoulder.

I grabbed the bottle and took a few more chugs earning myself some cheers from the group. We continued on getting to know each other and getting drunk. We laughed quite a lot and we felt honestly comfortable with these guys. I could safely say we were having a lot of fun and they were pretty cool guys. At one point in the night Malcom’s arm finally found its way around my shoulder which boosted my confidence to lean into the side of him.

“Guys! Look who the hell decided to show up!” Rocket yelled through a slur making the group turn to look at him. Peter stood there his arm around the girl, he was whispering something into her ear before he finally looked over at the group. When his eyes landed on Malcom’s arm around me he seemed to have zoned out from the conversation for a bit.

“Peter!!!!” Mantis exclaimed “That’s my brother” she explained to Lovis happily.

He played off his emotions with a laugh but he seemed pretty stiff. “Hey guys! The parties here!” He joked taking a sip of his drink. “Who’s this?” He nonchalantly asked Mantis, specifically not me.

“Oh this is Lovis, and Malcom!” She introduced showing Peter who was who with a wide smile. She was just happy to have the people she liked meet.

I couldn’t help myself from continuously looking over at that girl who’d been standing pretty clueless just sipping on her drink. I hate her. “Nice to meet you man,” Malcom reached out to Peter over me slightly.

Peter looked at his hand hesitantly before accepting the shake. “Yeah, for sure” he weirdly responded. He seemed pretty off, his posture was different and the way he was talking just didn’t seem like him.

“Well common everyone sit down!” Mantis insisted while scooting arm to arm with Nebula which she scowled at. Everyone scooted down as much as we could to fit the rest of the group which meant we were all arm to arm, Peter’s girl was going to go in next to me but Peter went in first then grabbed her hand and pulled her into the booth.

He slid all the way down until we were arm to arm and once he was comfortable turned to finally acknowledge my existence. “Oh, hey” he spoke like he didn’t know I was here the whole time.

“Hey,” I kept it short with him because he’s really starting to piss me off. Maybe it’s the alcohol talking, maybe I’m being dramatic but whatever.

He didn’t even seem to notice because he just kept on going. He looked over at the two empty bottles us girls had finished before and then the opened one that sat in front of me from last rotation. “Someone’s drunk,” he commented trying to start up a conversation. He nudged me with his shoulder playfully.

I nodded my head giving a small smile, “Yeah, the boys got it for us,” I turned to give Malcom a smile which he returned.

“Speaking of, let’s get that rotation going again huh?” He held the bottle up for me and I drank from it.

He went to go and drink for himself but I grabbed it. “No! I’ll hold it,” I playfully teased him. I placed one hand on his chest as the other held the bottle to his mouth. I watched as he took a few chugs and once he’d finished I’d cheered, and like a chain reaction the rest of the group did. All but Peter. Lovis grabbed the bottle to continue, while I grabbed Malcom’s face holding it for a minute before wiping the spilled liquor from his chin that I’d spilt. “I’m sorry,” I laughed still holding his face.

He glanced down at my lips for a moment and smiled. “Wowww,” he played back. “Spilling all over me,”

I softly pushed his chest with my hand. “You spilled on me too”

He glanced down to my shirt that actually was a little wet from when he’s fed me the drink. “Aww I’m sorry,” he tilted his head with a cute apologetic smile. “What can I do to make it up to you?”

As I was trying to think of a smooth line to snap back with I felt Peter’s body shift closer to mine, now instead of arm to arm we were pretty much just pressed up against each other side to side. I whipped my head to look and see what was going on and he gave me a shrug. “Was making more room,” he said over the music. Before I could turn back around he’d leaned into my ear. “What are we drinking?” He asked me like he couldn’t just ask the other million people at the table.

“I don’t know Groot stole the first ones and then the boys brought us more,” I explained back, he leaned in to me to hear what I was saying. Part of me felt like he really didn’t need to do that because I could hear Lovis who was further than Peter was from me.

He nodded his head. “So what did you guys do while I was gone?” He watched as Malcom had leaned toward Lovis in conversation and his arm slip off of me.

“We just drank and hung out,” I didn’t know what else to say because that’s really all we did.

He looked at me like I did something wrong, and smiled. “That’s it?! What’s my one rule of going out?” He asked but as he was talking managed to slip his arm up on the top of the booth right by my shoulders like Malcom did earlier.

I turned to look and see if Malcom had any reaction to that but he was still deep in conversation with the other side of the table. When I turned and looked back at Peter his expression was sort of pissed off. Maybe it was because I’d looked for Malcom’s reassurance instead of answering his question? He used the hand that was right above my shoulder to reach it down and grab my shoulder giving it a playful shake. “You gotta dance,” he finished his own sentence for me. Funny enough he decided to leave his hand there. He examined my face for a minute and seemed a little panicked that I hadn’t responded like I normally would’ve. “Plus, I know Xardecks like the back of my hand, you don’t wanna drink this, here come on I’m gonna get you something real to drink”

I huffed turning and see Malcom was still in conversation with the rest of the group. Part of me didn’t want to go with Peter because I find it really annoying he’s acting like this now that I finally have a guy. Of course when it’s him with a girl he can do whatever he wants and I just let it happen. I guess I can use this time to talk to him about it, maybe even consider Malcom as a real thing too. I nodded my head that I was going to go and he turned to talk to the girl and tell the rest of this side to let us out.

We got out of the booth and he glanced around behind him, once he did that he quickly placed his hand on the small of my back before I could turn and see too and led me toward the bar. Once it started to get more crowded he went behind me putting his hands on my hips and led me into a spot at the bar. While we were waiting for the bartenders attention he’d leaned against the counter and gave me a smile. He pulled me in closer to him but covered that up with him trying to tell me something. “You having fun tonight?” He asked into my ear over the now much louder music and talking.

I nodded my head and turned to take in the chaos around me. I felt his thumbs start to rub circles on my hips which made my heart flutter until I remembered why I even came over here with him. “Actually, can we talk outside?” I asked him trying to be as sober as possible for this conversation.

His body stiffened at the question and he didn’t say anything for a little bit. He perked up and held his hand to his ear. “Oh hold on wait, listen to the song!” He did his best at distracting me. “It’s the one we always play on the ship no way! Now you have to dance with me,” he lowered his head giving the expression like I just had to do this.

“Peter…” I sighed which he completely ignored and pulled me out to the dance floor anyways.

He put his hands on my hips swaying the both of us while looking at me. His eyes went from my eyes to my lips then back up again. He put his hand on the small of my back and pulled me chest to chest with him in a romantic way, before talking into my ear over the music again. “You look so pretty tonight baby,” he flirted but the way he was talking was so genuine and loving.

He leaned back and held my chin in his hand and rubbed softly. “Peter, I can’t” I pushed his hands off me and took a step back. His eyes widened and he seemed both shocked and scared all at the same time.

He was quick to follow my movement and step closer to me again. He pulled me back in but this time kissed me with hunger. I pulled back from him again and his face dropped. “You don’t even know that guy,” he seemed rather offended and started answering his own assumptions.

Though his comment actually pissed me off because he made me sound like some slut who goes with anyone. “That’s not the point, and you don’t know the girl you’re with either. Kind of like it is with all the girls you fuck,” I spat finally letting all my anger out.

He looked around angrily with a sigh before back at me. “Don’t change the subject, ever since this guy came around things are different with us,” he pushed back with a furrowed brow. The jealously was dripping off of him.

“What are you talking about?! We’ve literally only been around each other for a few hours,” I snapped back growing more annoyed.

“You’re different with him, I don’t act like that with the girls I go with, it’s never that personal, or- or romantic. You were sitting there with your hand on his chest, talking to each other like he’s your fucking boyfriend,” he really started to let loose now and I could tell this was all from his heart because he was just piling out everything he felt, some of the stuff didn’t even connect with the point he was making before.

I rolled my eyes at this and turned away from him but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back again and held me there for a minute before letting go when I yanked away. “I don’t care what you do with those other girls, I don’t care what you do, who you do, it’s none of my business, you live your life and do your thing and I’ll do mine,” I somewhat broke it off with that one sentence hoping he’d get the gist. The flooding of angry and jealous emotions really took over all rational parts of me and now I’m just acting on emotion and alcohol.

“What?” His mouth propped open then turned into a frown. “No,” he seemed to have been saying this more to himself than to me, like he couldn’t believe it. “You don’t want that,” he pleaded with his eyes. “Tell me, is that actually what you want?” His breathing started to get heavy and his eyes searched mine. He knew the answer he was aching for.

“I’m sorry I don’t do this, I never should’ve. I don’t hook up, I don’t do friends with benefits, I thought that it would save me from feeling my last breakup but now I’m just as sad about this. It’s not who I am I don’t do this, okay?” I felt myself started to get worked up and I knew if I didn’t get out of the building now then everyone in there would see me cry. I shoved myself through the crowd as fast as I could before Peter could pull me back into him again. I wandered off into the night street and blessed the lord when I saw an empty jardec pod. I rushed and climbed inside of it looking around for the button to type in where I’m heading.

“Yn, wait” Peter yelled out from the doors of the building. I started typing fast knowing he’d be making his way over. I can’t handle talking to him right now, it’s not going to go anywhere and I just want to be alone. Right as he was a few steps away from the pod I’d sent my location and it started to drive away.

I put it in to send me to the ship which was about fifteen minutes away. I sat in a sad silence looking out the window at the city around me. I saw a flashing light from my phone when I picked it up to see three missed calls from Peter and one from Mantis. With a huff I tucked my phone back into my pocket and sat out the rest of my ride. One I made it I trudged into the dark and quiet ship, all the way to my bedroom. I plugged my phone in seeing that I’d now had five missed calls from Peter. I figured I’d just talk to him in the morning when I was sober. I was sure I would at least be a decent person and tell him I was home safe. I sent him a quick text.

| Talk to you tomorrow, I’m in the ship right now. Tired. Goodnight, have fun

After literally seconds he’d already responded before I could leave the chat.

| please don’t fall asleep I’m almost there, I need to talk to you

As I was reading I heard another ding

| I’m serious, please

My heart started racing. He’s coming here, he’s almost here. I have no idea what I’m gonna say but I really don’t want to deal with any sadnesses tonight. I paced around my room until finally I’d heard some noise on the ship. My eyes widened and I stood there just listening as his foot steps got closer. The door knob twisted and in came Peter slowly and cautiously. He kept his eyes on mine the entire time as he walked up to me. His eyes seemed irritated and red like he’d been crying or something of the sort. “Can I just say that I never ever wanted to hurt you.” He seemed sad, and he spoke so delicately to me like I was a wounded little bird. “I don’t want you to go,” he admitted full of emotion.

I felt my heart drop at that comment. Peter’s been through a lot, especially after what happened with Gamora. He’s got some trauma and I can see now that even smaller things like this effect him a lot. Tears swelled up in his eyes which he did his best to choke back by clearing his throat and looking away from me. “Peter, I’m not gonna go,” I softly comforted, I reached my hands up and turned his face to me. I rubbed the sides of his cheek while looking into his eyes.

“Not like that yn,” his eyes glanced down at my lips and stayed there. “At first I was doing all that to get over gamora, then I started to realize what we had was real, and I got scared. So I started doing it to get over you,” he glanced back up at my eyes now trying to see my reaction to his confession. So all this time, all those girls, was him trying to get over me? “I just assumed you didn’t feel the same and I know it’s stupid to not have talked to you, but- I don’t know.”

He put his hands over the backs of my hands until I dropped mine while I was taking in what he said. He took that opportunity to rub my cheek instead. His hand trailed down to my chin, until his thumb traced over my lips. “I fell in love with you,” he whispered.

I stood there silent and shell shocked. He. what? “I planned so many different ways to tell you and I never wanted it to be like this but, I couldn’t stand seeing you with someone else. And I know that’s not fair, I know that’s what we agreed on, but I don’t want that,” he rambled on getting a little nervous. “I don’t want anyone else to touch you, I don’t want anyone else to be with you, to even so much as think about you, I want you to myself,” he admitted and trailed his hand back to my jaw.

For a while I was mesmerized. I looked into his pretty teary eyes, his handsome nose all the way down to his perfect plump lips. I said nothing, all I did was nod my head and it was enough for him to know what I meant and what I wanted. At that he immediately leaned in and kissed me. This one was hungry, and full of passion, one hand on my jaw and the other wrapped in my hair on the back of my head softly. I had one hand on the side of his face and the other on his chest as we shared that kiss for a little while. Once we’d backed away we’d both caught our breathe. “I fell for you too Peter, a long time ago,” It felt so good to finally admit it, and the look on his face right now made it so much better. “I want you all to myself, ALL to myself,” I reiterated the last part dramatically with a smile making him chuckle and place his forhead on mine.

“I couldn’t agree more baby,” he couldn’t stop smiling and truthfully neither could I. He was finally mine. A love that was there all along and I never knew.

————

[thats-my-passion-right-there]

More tag rants!!!!!!

I finally saw the mean girls musical (the movie one) I have so many fucking thoughts oh my god

[ask-the-rag-dolly]

Genuine question, how does one deal with someone being so insistent on their lack of (self-)worth? Not to vent too much, but I grew up with someone who was at least as bad, if not worse than Ragatha. I developed similar habits (this comic is a painful reminder of that) and my friends also tend to struggle with these feelings. But I never know how to deal with these issues, and it just leaves me feeling helpless.

I believe you‘re not a psychologist and it‘s fine if you don‘t want to answer this. But if you do have some advice or resources on this topic, I‘d love to know about it.

hi !

you're right , i am Not a psychologist ! my only credential is pretty much having it as my special interest of many years , so ... ! obligatory ' take this with a grain of salt ' disclaimer

i'm only answering this ask because i do like talking about these kinds of stuff ( in fact i'm in the middle of writing another psychology infographic with ragatha because of Course i am , ) and it's Relevant right now ... but for the most part i am literally just a stranger on the internet and thus i'll only be giving out general advice !! any specifics of the situation are stuff you'll need to figure out yourself

number one thing is that you should Always Take Care Of Yourself . it may be hard to admit , but these types of people can actually be Emotionally Draining - and i'm saying that as someone who had to deal with those people myself . and well you don't want to accidentally say things that make them feel worse

second thing is that a lot of it is ... really the other person's effort . all you can do is be supportive and gently encourage them . what took me so long to accept is that no amount of words or compliments will lift someone's self-esteem up - while it helps , it really has to come from Within , and that's something that'll take months or Years to build up . you can't force someone to start loving themself - and that's a hard pill to swallow

and the third thing is that ... well . there's a possibility that it could be a symptom of a mental disorder and thus you should encourage them to seek professional help . i am aware that the option is not available for everyone though , but i think recognizing that it might be a mental problem might take the burden off of you a little - as they're not really things a non-professional should handle .

as for resources , this article was extensive about this topic , including recognizing where the low self-esteem comes from , what Not to say to someone with low self-esteem , and tips that'll help the person ! very wonderful to read .

this article is for partners but i think it applies to people you're close with in general . what i like about it is how it Encourages open communication and listening . something you'll realize is that it's Different for everybody and it's good to learn more about the problem than jumping to a hasty solution or making assumptions . also it encourages them to talk more about their Feelings and talking about your feelings is what Very Cool And Hot People Do !

oh God sorry for the long post this should be enough to give me a diagnosis -

[weebsinstash]

(bnha/mha spoilers) i've still got attachments to the characters and still think of certain concepts and stuff for them and all that but like, are any of you feeling like BNHA is just going the exact same route as Naruto did where they spent the entire series talking about how cool heroes/ninjas are, then started discussing "but wait, not everything is as it seems! There's evil afoot, and not just any evil, SOCIALLY SYSTEMIC evil!" and then just completely shelved those discussions so the Hero could punch the Bad Guy in the face and then the series ends with everything being fundamentally exactly the same if not in some ways objectively worse

Like im sorry but looking at things thematically, if you told me Endeavor got off completely scott-free and his family still talks to him and he never even went to prison and still gets to keep his job as hero, but Shigaraki who was failed by society and literally poached and groomed as a child to become a villain while still forming bonds with his found family of other abused people and minorities is just KILLED AND DIES SMILING, I would say something like "oh is Horikoshi trying to make satirical commentary on how the broken corrupt system will fight like hell to uphold itself and this is actually metaphorical?" but nah it's just legitimately presented as a good thing and a good outcome

Genuinely? The way the series is ending is making me agree with Overhaul. If you think of Heroes and Quirks as a service or product, then tools can be invented to serve those same purposes. The way that Quirks developed in the universe of MHA is that they became used almost exclusively for combat based purposes, and to even use your quirk, which is also a part of your body or identity, you need special permissions and a license which I bet you costs money to apply for, so now you have the government regulating integral parts of people's identities, and also Quirks that change people's appearances are discriminated against and there aren't really any laws protecting against that

In a way, Overhaul was and still is entirely justified for thinking Quirks should be disposed of because the series is literally ending showing that Quirks are just being used to uphold government and corporate interests rather than actually do what's right? Quirks are literally increasing the severity with which humans can harm each other to the point it completely overshadows the good? Oh yeah I'm really glad we have a hero with super speed to help stop robberies, meanwhile the government has like a secret agent who is creating like nuke strikes on foreign countries, like... the good that Heroes can do? Can be easily done by humanity with tools

Like the way BNHA is ending is in my opinion, extremely dark? Deku was kind of just a clueless foot soldier upholding the dark government of his country and now All Might has no powers, Deku is gonna be Quirkless again, and everything is exactly the same? You could argue the only "win" that's coming out of the ending is that AFO is dead, but like.... someone with AFOs exact same powers could just be born again? Except maybe this time he can be, like, a government employee or a cop or something to really fit in with the core themes of the series :)

[hestzhyen]

What's in a Name? (Sazanami Clan)

Sincerely sorry for spamming you, dear void. Think of this as a purge of ideas that have been percolating around for a while but were never given time until now. Anyway, let's take a look at the kanji meanings for the Sazanami clan members' names! ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

Much like parents creating a name for their children, authors often put their wishes and intentions for the character into the name selection process. Kagurabachi is no different- the Saznami's names showcase how much thought Hokazono put into creating the characters to fit seamlessly into the story.

I'm not a pro at Japanese so these interpretations are based off of a lot of research only.

Without further ado:

漣 (sazanami, most commonly read as ren) means "ripple". An indirect reference to the inherited isou technique that uses shock waves?

More rarely, it can also mean crying or continuously flowing tears. A hint towards the horrible legacy they've got as a clan, perhaps.

Sazanami Kyora (漣 京羅) - Bizarre name.

京 (kyo) directly means capital city and is often used as shorthand for Kyoto city itself (京都). 羅 (ra) is for lightweight fabrics like silk or gauze... a surface reading is kinda weird. His name is "silk capital", huh...

In a name, 京 (kyo) can confer both grandeur and power. 羅 (ra) can confer the idea of a protective net, or a link of unity and strength. So in my mind, Kyora is meant to be the powerful, uniting force that protects. Protects what? Certainly not his kids! GOTTEM

Sazanami Soya (漣 宗也) - Soya is a special guy for many reasons... 宗 (usually read as mune) is associated with respect for family, ancestry, and following the teachings of a founder (in a religious sense). The so reading is actually pretty rare and means "origin" or "virtuous ancestor". In general it conveys a sense of the child being expected to honor the family's ancestors, legacy, and perhaps being the start of something new and special. Good good this is fine.

也 is pretty interesting too. It's archaic, for one. Thus making it a strange choice for a modern name. The most common readings of 也 (nari and ya) mean "to be" in the sense that something is certain to happen/occur, but there's also a less common one used here (ya) that is questioning- like "will it be?" or "is it"? And when it's included in a name, 也 (ya) often takes on a meaning like "also". In an abstract sense, ya here implies excitement for the baby being born, so at least he's got that going for him.

So IMO the most direct meaning of 宗也 (soya) is "another origin" in reference to his "love" being what helps Hakuri overcome Soya himself and start down his new path, with strong implications that he was expected to honor his family's tradition... but maybe wouldn't be able to. Cool stuff! And really depressing in the context that he was chosen to be the next head of the family! Did his parents not have high hopes for him for some reason? Imagine naming your kid "baby we're excited to have that will respectfully carry on our family legacy" while also throwing it in doubt by deliberately using an archaic kanji lol. Soya never had a chance.

Is that why he treated Hakuri the way he did once his little bro failed to manifest the talent he was assumed to have...?

Sazanami Hakuri (漣 伯理) Our favorite former boyfailure sure has an interesting name...

伯 (haku) means someone with a position of high authority like "chief", "earl", or "count". In a name, it conveys a sense of respect and admiration being due as the highest ranked person in the family. What audacity lmao. I think it's interesting that the middle child was given this name since haku also implies being obligated respect and admiration as the eldest brother/role model of the family. Should his and Soya's names have been swapped?

理 (ri) means reason/logic... and less often, justice or truth. It's interesting that this character was used instead of the more common 裡 (ri) that usually composes the full name (伯裡). This character is for something in the rear or the middle, inside or within- implying they're protected or sheltered. Name implications of 裡 carry connotations of inner strength, security, and comfort; a sense of belonging and connection. ...Things our Hakuri notably lacks. He was never meant to be a strong leader secure in his relationships and protected from harm, I guess. So let's look at why 理 might have been chosen instead.

There are many possible implications when 理 used in a name, but most of them imply that the child will be guided or helped along in a positive way. Whether by order and structure, logic and wisdom, deep empathy... any or all of them. So his name is something like "logical/natural chief" with the implication that something will guide his path through life. Fortunately for him and us, it happens to be empathy (RIP Ice Lady). Not escaping the swapped names theories though since Soya was supposed to be the logical, calculating oldest brother chosen to lead the clan. Hmm.

With all that context, this panel just makes me so... something:

Is there more to unpack with the Sazanamis after all? Is leadership a meritocracy or something? Because normally you'd expect the oldest son to have the duty passed on to him. Yet I'm not confident that Soya was always the first choice now.

But yeah, with a name like that, no wonder we see him being called special by Kyora at such a young age- Hakuri had a lot placed on his shoulders at birth. It makes me curious as to why he was apparently seen as a better prospect than Soya, but we'll probably never get the details.

Sazanami Tenri (漣 天理) - Another guy with a unisex name that leans feminine lol. Even more parallels to Chihiro!

A lot of fellow anime and manga fans will probably be familiar with 天 (ten)- meaning heaven, sky, sometimes God. No surprises there. 理 (ri) - the same one used in Hakuri's name- once again means reason/logic, and less often, justice or truth. In names, 天 (ten) also adds a sense of natural talent or gifts the child is born with (and we do see Tenri becoming the youngest member of the Tou ever, so he certainly was born with something special like his father claimed).

理 (ri) implications hurt my heart. He was also named with great expectations placed on him, but at least it's a relatively common name unlike his older brothers'.

I think a common, straightforward interpretation is usually best so "heaven's natural law" is the meaning I'd ascribe. But I do like the optional interpretation of "heaven's judgement" being there to echo Mr. Inazuma's "lightning of judgement" that Chihiro delivered on his behalf. Just a fun little thing for me to gnaw on. The additional naming implications make me think he was supposed to be guided by his natural talents to a bright future, but... well...

I kind of want a side story or episode zero about Kyora, Mrs. Sazanami, Tenri, Hakuri, and Soya before Hakuri was ostracized now. Why were they named like this?! Hakuri and Soya in particular have me going insane over implications for their relationship and why Soya might have been so cruel to him...

Anyway, thanks as always for letting me rant in your ambivalent ears, kind internet void. I'll be able to ride out the last hour or so of waiting for spoilers in peace thanks to you.

[icewindandboringhorror]

me everytime I am preparing a meal with multiple elements I have to balance so they all finish cooking at the same time: Wow this is just like the 2009 hit Nintendo Wii game 'Food Network: Cook Or Be Cooked'

[silent-sanctum]

Character Dynamics: Kakyoin & Polnareff

In a previous post, I mentioned that one of the personal gripes I had with Stardust Crusaders was the missed opportunity to expand the main cast's character further, either individually or through interaction with one another.

And what canon reference will I base all my yapping on? Look no further than the episode where the Crusaders are fighting "High Priestess"- The submarine scene right before they go swimming and get eaten.

You know that scene where Polnareff does a series of big vague arm movements and Kakyoin somehow knows what that means, and then they ensue the "Serious Bro Code Handshake" no one knows about but them.

And some quick special mentions of them fighting as a unit during that scene where Kakyoin and Polnareff fight against the man with two right hands, or Enyaba the Hag's son to put it simply, and that time where they had to get rid of The Lovers from Joseph's head.

In this post, I'll talk about a dynamic that's not too appreciated and should've been more consistent (though that's what I think from what I've seen online) is that between Noriaki Kakyoin and Jean Pierre Polnareff.

Disclaimer: I'll talk about them in a platonic way (because we can appreciate two dudes being great buddies without automatically making them suck each other's lip and cock), but if you think otherwise, then kudos! You do you.

These 2 are, what I feel, would've been a duo with almost a similar dynamic to the one we see with Josuke and Okuyasu, being the difference is that unlike the 2 latter duo consisting of the typical "Dumb-and-Dumber" dynamic, KakPol is more "Nerd-Himbo".

So what makes this duo work exactly? Why am I compelled to write this post?

Well, to simply put, I love an interaction between a typically introverted person and an extroverted person. It's fun to watch Person X dragging Person Y into shenanigans, the latter being too not-cool with it at first, only for said person to go "Fuck it, we ball."

That's why I like writing them as this duo in my stories (namely in Only You, Playing Cupid, and Volleyball).

Kakyoin is not a social person. We know that from his quick backstory. However, despite his lack of social connection, he's polite with the way he interacts with others. He's also an amalgamation of a nerd and a geek: A person filled with ideas and thoughts, capable of providing reasonable logical strategies that benefit the group, and who also has interests in fun stuff like sumo wrestling and video games.

On the other hand, Polnareff will be Polnareff. He's a Frenchman who wears his emotions on his sleeve. He's a little out there with the folks, will get all buddy-buddy with strangers, will flirt with the ladies, and is generally a loud-and-proud kind of dude. But beneath all that social energy, he's also righteous in his own way, wanting to live up to what he deems the right thing to do.

If you put them together, then you get a dynamic that would spill this type of dialogue:

"Aren't you gonna eat your sausages?" "No." "Why?" "Sausage is made with sodium glutamate and sodium nitrate, which are carcinogens." "… So why don't you eat them?" "… Why would you eat carcinogens on purpose?" "Then I'll take them." "But-" "…" "Fine."

The lines above are from a movie named "Midnight Runners". You can swap the main duo of the film with KakPol and there wouldn't be many differences. Both of them behave and speak the way Kakyoin and Polnareff do personality-wise.

Kakyoin is the brain of the two, and Polnareff is the muscle. While Kak's the one offering out things to do, Pol makes sure he lives up to that by making him do said things with him. Polnareff is the type of guy who likes to venture out and have fun, while Kakyoin is someone who wants to do said fun things but feels awkward initiating them, often finding it more comfortable envisioning it rather than actually doing it.

They'd be the type where Pol, the man from France itself, would play bachelor, attempt to swoon some girls, and drag Kakyoin to his antics. He'd share some cheesy Casanova techniques with the poor boy, Kak eventually warms up to the idea having nothing better to do and listens, they attempt trying them out, only to eventually fail at the end of the day. Cue Kak who suggests they play video games instead to which Pol agrees to it.

Pol: And no Jotaro, you're not joining. You attract ladies just by breathing. You don't count.

Jotaro: middle finger

If there's an exam and the question is "List the 3 sources of investigation", Kakyoin would answer "Examine victim, evidence, and crime scene" (emphasizes Logic), while Polnareff would answer "Passion, tenacity, and a big heart" (emphasizes Values). And, correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe they also share some squabble and banter from time to time.

That's why there's a difference in dynamics with "Polnareff and Kakyoin" compared to "Polnareff and Jotaro".

Jotaro is more hands-on and nonchalant about the way he lives his life. He lets events play out and has no problem joining in and exploring as he goes along the way.

Kakyoin is more hesitant and wants to think about it more, pondering whether or not said activity is worth it or not. Pol and Joot can hang out and smoke all they want almost immediately, but Pol must convince Kak before doing anything outside Cherry Boy's comfort zone.

There's that satisfaction in having Kakyoin feel less alone and be brought of his shell thanks to Polnareff's interventions. He gets to share his more geeky side with someone who's like "Sounds cool!"

It also works in the battlefield as well. As I mentioned, Kakyoin is the strategist. He comes up with the ideas- they can be half-baked or fool-proofed, either way, the second a plan is suggested, Polnareff will agree to it and execute any of them if it sounds good enough.

I don't know how to end this. It's rather abrupt, but yeah! In my opinion, Kakyoin and Polnareff are just a couple of bros who needed more screen time as a duo.

Let me know if yall want more stuff like this!

[duckchu]

Duckyyyy, I seriously need a change from the KDA!reader stuff going around, could I mayhaps beg of you for anything romantic with whatever heartsteel boy you feel like writing for with a Pentakill reader?

(I seriously recommend listening to Pentakill if you like old metal, I can also help give a brief description of Pentakill if you need it)

-🎃

While Pentakill is (musically) my least favourite band from lol, I'm a Sona main and a Mordekaiser simp, I know them by heart, 🎃 (this sounds way more threating than it was meant to lmao) (and I do not know them by heart, I just love Sona and Mordekaiser and would very much enjoy being stuffing to a sandwich if they're the bread if you know what I mean

And you know what? I'm feeling like writing them all so enjoy my lovely pumpkin

Also sorry for kinda insterting Battle Academia Yone in there but I couldn't stop myself

Enjoy 🖤

(mmm wife gif)

Kayn

You're a hottie AND you're in THE Pentakill? He was instantly hooked on you when you two met

Though you weren't as keen on him, thinking of him as just another fanboy

After some time of him bugging you and trying to impress you as much as he can, you warmed up to him

Eventually landing yourself into a relationship with him

Everyone in both bands thought you two were just a short phase

But then the public learned about you

And my god, was it a storm

Especially since everyone suspected you were dating someone...more like you

But you two are still going strong

He loves your style, especially if your outfits include some chains (he's a kinky man what can I say)

Though he also enjoys your style outside of the stage, no matter how much it differs from your metal queen image

Honestly he just loves when you look happy

Probably wrote a few songs about you, which he will never show you, since he thinks you're too cool for love songs

Aphelios

Honestly? Wasn't interested at the beginning

You're from Pentakill? Ok, don't care

Honestly you were the one who fell first

He had no idea, untill he noticied you telling Sona you thought he was cute using sing language

After that he started noticing you in his surroundings more often

Especially if you wore tight clothes

I mean he's not a pervert, but you look really good

Finally Alune made him realise he's in love

Oh shit he is

So after some time to gather courage he goes in an confesses

Thought it wouldn't be a problem to do it in front of Kayle, since why would she know sing language

SHE'S IN THE BAND WITH SONA TOO FUCK

He may be stupid but you still love him

But rumours spread fast

So next day the press was on the asses of both of you

Honestly doesn't care. He loves you and that's what matters

Though the rest of Heartsteel might care

Oh well

Yone

You two met before Pentakill was even a thing

So he isn't intimated by you being in the band

He's actually very happy for you

Though he does miss the days when you two were just teenagers and could hang out more frequently

Especially since now you usually were with the band or touring

I mean he was happy with you

But he might not have gotten past his little high school crush on you

Ah, the old days, when he thought dying his hair pink would impress you

Now he knew he just had to tell you that he liked you in that special way

You two might have lost some time, but now you have plenty of it to make up for it~

Ezreal

Him? With you? Nooo, this had to be joke

A joke so good Karthus spilled his morning coffe out laughing

Oh wait, you actually were? Oh shit

No one ever thought the intimidating metal diva would be with someone like him

Everyone was sure he would be dating another popstar to break up after a week

But it's been half a year since the news broke out and you two are still going strong

He loves seeing you on stage

You're so...

He secretly wants you to step on him and call you mommy

But he can hold back

For now

Sett

Holy shit

The hottie from Pentakill

And him

It's like a dream come true

Although he is worried what his mom will think

She doesn't care

As long as you treat him well, she will welcome you with open arms

Sett loves how ferocious you are

He finds it so hot how intimidating you look on stage

Especially since you have such an effect, even against Mordekaiser and Yorick, who look...well scary

K'Sante

Won't tell you that, but you inspired him so much

He just loves when you mix up your stage style and home style

Like wearing just a normal blouse with that gorset belt? You look great!

He of course loves you for so much more

For example how you always take care of him

Turning into a big softie whenever he needs your help

Or the way your eyes light up when you see in the crowd at a concert

Though the music is not his taste, he will do anything for his partner

He won't admit it, but in the depths of his files there's a whole set of outfits he designed for Pentakill, inspired by you of course

[anomaliex]

I like to think that Riz is autistic (and maybe has adhd?), which greatly contributes to his social struggles pre Highschool, and him developing serious social competence later on kind of makes me think so even more? Words. This headcanon is very precious to me, for some reason.

Riz is initially presented as the socially awkward dorky briefcase kid, and though he grows into being more suave like his father (Brennan's words) and has really high insight and persuasion by the end of junior year he's still kind of a "weirdo", he's just gotten better at reading people and adjusting accordingly. And, like, understanding social structures and how to exploit them ("we don't need cool people. We just need a lot of dorks.")

My experience with autism and empathy and social interaction or whatever has been that allistic people, for some reason, seem to "just know" how to approach others and whether they're well received. It's like some kind of secret language that you're not in on, an instinctual knowledge that you for some reason lack, making you an outcast for reasons you genuinely don't really get. ("I don't have many friends even though I'm pretty social, which is weird.")

The way I've rationalised this is that they read tone, body language etc subconsciously, leading to them clocking things without really thinking about them too hard, whereas I can only do so with a conscious effort. I'm good at people reading, at picking up on non-verbal cues and remembering previous behaviour and breaks from patterns and analysing what they might mean and all that, but I had to actively teach myself that? It's something you have to learn if it doesn't come to you naturally, and I think as Riz mechanically levels up and increases his proficiency bonus and gains expertise and stuff, he's just gradually observing and memorising all these things in a very logical and objective way.

Additionally, he figures out how to adjust his own behaviour in ways that are appeasing to others. This means masking but it also means, like, learning how to suck up to people. He learns where to look so people think he's making normal eye contact, at what volume to keep his voice, which forms of stimming pass as "normal guy being bored" and which are "what a freak", and even to just not info dump at all unless he's in the right company no matter how bad he wants to (he doesn't shut up about his cases around his friends, though). This isn't necessarily a good thing, it's just a thing. I think that's part of growing up for a lot of autistic teenagers. This is how I interpret his persuasion, kinda, and it's notable that he's worse at this than insight. It's one thing to analyse and know what people think and want, it's another to actually get yourself to do it when it really goes against your nature.

There's also something to be said about his violent anger towards the rat grinders, and Kipperlilly specifically. Autistic teenager when someone drags his special interest (which is connected not only to his truest form of growth but also his personal view on justice) (in this case adventuring. I think it's gen just adventuring and investigating) through the mud:

(Why he doesn't like it is more nuanced than this expresses but I'm referring to like. How strong his emotional reaction is compared to how he usually acts lol. Also rigid morals and stuff are a symptom tm but hey.)

Ohhh I also think Fabian is autistic, but he happens to be more easily digestible for others because he's athletic and rich and stuff but gods does he also suck at people-ling initially (and honestly he never gets particularly good at it, he just happens to be charming and a good performer but that doesn't necessarily mean he knows what he's doing), especially with other teenagers (it probably doesn't help that he canonically went on adventures with his father for a while which is why he got into school a year later. This kid doesn't have any experience with people his age at the beginning) and oh god I got off track this sentence is really long. But, like, something something, neurodivergent (especially autistic) people tend to kinda flock together automatically? Which is why I think Riz decides Fabian is his best friend so quickly. They're very special to me.