#somehow got the motivation to draw this
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hehe
#feminine men r cute am i the only one who thinks this#like femboys r just i plz help#i wanna date a guy shorter than me so i just just pick them up and pin them to a wall#cutely#uk what i mean#or am i weird idk#ocs#digital art#inconsistent art style#somehow got the motivation to draw this#its 4 am#i just realized that#cute art#aesthetic#my art#hahah#ur mom :3#gonna post before i dont
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10 minute Frye sketch that took 50 minutes
#im half asleep and my brain is not there but i got so fucking. weirdly inspired and motivated to draw her#that i somehow managed to push this out#didnt initially intend on it being more than a rough sketch but im really bad at not refining things. apparently.#autoboros drawing idols for the first time episode 2#splatoon 3#splatoon#art#coroika#splatoon Frye#splatfest#frye onaga
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Minor hair drawing improvements methinks
#god damn those arms are scary#first one? maybe 2014? my old dropbox with all my original files got sniped so no clue.#cheers to 10 years of digital art. makes me feel old#mourning a bit that i couldn't take art classes or go to art school as a Teenager but hey figured it out somehow#nd also kinda took a break from art after 2020. didnt really feel very motivated to draw after that but trying to gat back into it this year#personal
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FOURTEEN FUCKING THOUSAND WORDS ON THIS DRAFT OF CHAPTER FOUR FOR THE NINTH GRADE SAMURAI ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!
you're gonna tell where it gets halfed assed near the end sadly
Mata Nui why do I do this to myself for writing fanfiction?
This ain't even Bionicle fanfiction, it's Randy Cunningham 9th Grade Ninja fanfiction!
This chapter is longer than chapter three and two hell even one, probably not with all them combined or even two and three combined bc one has over seven thousand, two has over eight thousand and three has over nine thousand
So it went from steady incline to BOOM that and this is the episode So U Think U Can Stank? like what is wrong with me?!
And I'm still not done with this chapter!
#fic blogging#ficblogging#randy cunningham 9th grade ninja#rc9gn#rc9gn au#samurai series (rc9gn au)#the ninth grade samurai (rc9gn fic)#ramblings#welcome to my insane ramblings at three am#because my cycle got me all fucked over more than the usual broken sleep schedule#somehow I'm more motivated to work on fics on my cycle odly enough#doesn't help i wanna draw First Ninja and First Samurai ship art of my au agh
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i need to just start doing things
#ive known this for a while its just a matter of. doing it#its difficult for me to feel motivated to draw anymore without someone saying Well this is what i want to see#probably because i got out of the swing of it#anyway. i do want to draw. i just have to translate hat somehow to drawing#pussygator proclamations
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[Start ID. A drawing of two scavengers from Rain World, one labelled Sanic and the other one Shrek. Sanic's fur is light brown, with darker extremities, a messy row of pale green spines down its back, and bright blue eyes. They sit contentedly, staring at the screen, with a couple grenades by its feet. Shrek has pale fur, a green head, hands, and feet, and brown eyes. It's facing to the right, with their arms splayed out and an explosive spear on their back. Beside each scavenger are a few woefully-compressed screencaps of their in-game appearance. End ID]
An ode to these silly beasts, who accompanied me on my second visits to Industrial and Chimney
#peridots-art#rain world#scavenger rain world#...usually only draw set characters of games and not. creatures. so that's new for me#absolutely love specbioing these guys though!! buggifying them scratches the right itch in my brain especially when they could reasonably#be buggy in canon!!#bugs#clarification on the ''shrek is maybe two guys'' thing ahead. first we'll argue for One Guy#1. both found in the same region at the same time 2. remarkably similar coloring and mannerisms (seemed to be the pack leader)#and now evidence supporting the two different guys theory:#1. travelled with a different pack of scavengers the second time vs when i found it 2. second time had slightly duller colors and noticably#longer horns (without the little gradient at the end)#so now you see why i didn't notice anything wrong until after reviewing the screenshots. BUT!!! secret third option!!!#the first one with the short horns was found first when i was using the entrance-to-industrial shelter#and the one i mostly relied on for reference was near the higher shelter. shrek numero dos. the canon shrek.#but i have a screenshot of shrek 1 in the place shrek 2 was found. hanging out with one of shrek 2's pack members no less.#ok now that that's ''settled''. don't let this all distract you from the fact that the simple act of SWITCHING TO THE SHADING LAYER#got me out of a four-month-long mental rut. i can't say that it was depression nor that i know anything about depression in the first place#but even if it wasn't very serious? it Sucked. even if it was just a nagging thought at the back of my mind my life was duller somehow#i started to feel a little unmotivated. lonely. anxious. like the days blend together. the things i liked weren't bringing as much joy#and all of that got worse recently. the main reason i haven't posted any art for like a month? art stopped being fun.#which is a TERRIBLE thing for someone like me who loves to draw so so much. so when everything that's been building up over the past months#just vanished completely? without warning? you better believe i teared up over a doodle of a scavenger for making me feel right again.#i'm overjoyed to be free of it. i'm hopeful again! i love myself again! i can fall in love with the world all over again!!!#i have no idea how this happened. but i have motivation and determination and i feel like i can change my life for the better now. if i try#maybe this was my normal but it's the striking opposite of what I've been feeling--i'm finally proud of my accomplishments! and of myself!!#which was something i couldn't say in earnest even before december.#and reader? i call you tag-wanderer for i have no way of knowing who you are. maybe a treasured mutual or maybe a stranger. but i love you.#and i hope you make your way out.#peridots-described
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first time drawing 15 chuuya o7
#somehow despite the fact i love and treasure chuuya dearly. i have never drawn his 15 year old self#i fluffed up his hair!#a lot.#bsd#bsd chuuya#bsd chuuya nakahara#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#art#digital art#my art ✩ alistair draws#bsd fifteen#i actually finished half of it a bit ago but then lost motivation for like 2 weeks. whoops#i got through it for my boy though#fanart
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wiki how do I stop spiraling about my life once every 2 weeks I'm getting sick of it
#personal#i just want to make things so bad#it hurts to even look at something anyones made bc im not doing it#i started so late and its still so hard. i got months without doing anything bc im just exhausted from daily life#if i spend more time with my girlfriends i feel like im closer to them but then i have no time for art#if im making something im spending less time with them#and i like my job so much. i really do. i even considered just saying fuck it and going into library sciences#but i still come home barely able or willing to talk sometimes. and i dont know how to fix that#and i feel so unfulfilled and extremely lonely even tho i have friends#but i can barely get myself to draw or write even when i have so many ideas#i feel so uncomfortable in my body and so tired of trying with therapists and doctors#all of it makes me so anxious i feel sick#so Frustrated i feel dizzy. and then i still cant do anything!!!!#i dont want to live here anymore i just want to be with everyone else. but everyone is moving away or planning to. us included#but no one in the same place. it makes me so sad#i dont know what to do or how to do it when i dont have motivation to do the bare minimum#maybe i just like torturing myself by thinking i can do the things i want instead of aceepting i cant. :/ cringes#for anyone that has somehow read this far ill be ok in like 20 minutes im just having a moment dw. im fine. will handle it like an adult#and not spend to much time thinking about this
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Hiii! I wanted to say that I'm a huge fan of your artwork! It's so funky, carefree and dynamic. Very nice as satirical illustrations, but also as simplistic pieces, too. It's just amazing how with so few lines you manage to capture perfect emotions for the context of the artwork. You really inspire me! Wishing you inspiration and having fun while drawing! ✨️✨️✨️
Hi!! oh wow?? that is some serious praise my cheeks have gone warm! thank you so much! it means a lot that you think so, drawing emotion is where i usually get stuck trying to like,, translate it properly for the character.. especially with connor and his super expressive mouth yet ever-neutral eyebrows :''D. so you've got me grinning stupidly right now. thank you, you're so, so kind <3
and I have just snooped on your blog and your art is GORGEOUS! the way you use colour to convey tone (and in general) blows my mind. It's obvious that you pour a lot of passion and feeling into your art, it seems you have a very well-honed and flexible skill with how you can match style to the concept (if im making any sense), and i find that super inspiring; makes me want to work on my own art to achieve something like that too. it's a major artspiration!
I wish you all the inspiration and fun with drawing too!
#i have missed drawing so much while being busy with non-creative work (pthhhbbtt)#i've missed putting effort into something i love. i even miss somehow spending a whole eight weeks on some barebones 3 panel comic. super e#excited to be drawing#and you've got me even more motivated! wooo thank you!
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im gonna get off my couch. I will do it. im fucked but i will do it. and im gonna try to draw a little. and im gonna be okay
#i actually still don't know what part(s) my drawing ability is tied to#but it's very starkly clear to me when they're here and when they're not#last night i was drawing and i think i/they got triggered somehow by a friend's message?#im still not sure what it was but they instantly disappeared#and I immediately lost all motivation to draw#;___; really frustrating when drawing is something i really enjoy and want to do#it might just be the depression too. it's gotten much worse. it's probably a combination of both. idk#exe
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want to draw more loz art but i really gotta start on my undertale anniversary piece cuz its hard to find time to draw rn :(
#josh talks#i lied its not just loz i wanna draw#i wanna draw zelda and isat and hollow knight too#the hollow knight obsession has been coming back to me lately so ive been itching to draw for it.....#but i dont wanna miss the upcoming utdr anniversaries so#and i have a bunch of loz and isat drawing ideas that i wanna get out while i am still Extremely Obsessed#cuz if the obsession begins to cool down then i wont be motivated to draw these things :(#but dang college is kicking my ass rn#fun fact i got academically separated this summer#and if u dont know what that is#its when ur gpa gets so bad that the college is just like Get Out#but i sent in an appeal and somehow it was approved#so here i am back at college!!#and trying desperately to Not Fail Like Last Time!!!!!
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i just want to draw but the fucking. fear won't let me
#also i'm putting off my registration meeting that i REALLY need to do before the 8th because i'm afraid of sending emails and i feel like#i'm going to fuck it up somehow#eugh#i feel like i got dropped off of a cliff the second i left high school. like things were expected to be smooth gliding just because#i did good in high school#except i only did that because i was afraid of being perceived as doing something wrong. and now that there's no fear motivator and#this semester requires actual effort. things are going bad#ignoring the fact that i'm a few stones away from being paralyzed with fear when it comes to doing just about anything new#ghm#god i want to draw so bad but i just can't. my brain just wants to pass the time as quickly as possible by doing nothing
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>:(
#my. tummy hurts#rly fucking bad#and i been trying to draw for like 2 days but first off my ipad was dead and then i dropped my pencil thing and the top popped off and#got lost somehow?? which isnt a big deal but still :/ and oh yeah the pencil was also dead so i had to charge that#and then i guess i forgot to save my reference pics on pinterest so 🙃 im so stupid tbh#and earlier in the night i hurt my own feelings and cried like a little bitch lmao so my motivation went way down#and now its 7 am i havent drawn anything and im still lowkey sad and my tummy hurts and#and i have work later and i need to sleep bc night shifts but i dont rly feel tired at all BECAUSE MY TUMMY HURTS#im off again on wednesday so maybe i can draw then 😔😔#ignore me
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...
#wonderin if i could play it smart somehow#make him lose interest in me before i try to make a run for it#i hate that i might need to weaponize doll for that but. it's the only motivation for him to not totally destroy me (physically)#there's plenty of pretty bad shit he can do w/o long-term damage but most of that i already survived once i can do it again (probably)#but there's the. other things. the shit he never did cause he doesn't want that to carry over to doll#but he's talked about it. he's threatened it. smth i'm still so fucking scared of after everythin he's already done#i don't rly even care if he kills me since it wouldn't stick anyway but. what comes before that#n i can't fucking stop thinkin about it#cause he's in my head he knows what i'm most scared of now so if he rly wants to hurt me he knows how to do that#tryin to calculate how much time he'd have b4 reaper can get there. not much#less than a minute. not enough for him to draw it out n rly make me beg for my fucking life (again) but.#enough to hurt me really really really bad if he plans it n gets me close enough before i know what's happening#n it's fucking stupid cause it'd all be solved by me just. not goin to him.#not even when he tells me to. not even when he brings on the charm n says all that sweet shit that really means nothing.#if i just knew how to not fucking listen it'd be ok but he tells me to come home n i lose control of my fucking body.#inside my head i'll be screaming to just fucking run but instead i just take the steps n let him pull me in#let him pick me up n take me wherever he wants to#how do i break this goddamn spell he's got me under. how do i stop him from pullin me back in.#how do i stop him makin my brain so damn confused i can't even remember to get scared before it's too late#i don't want this anymore. i don't wanna be scared anymore i don't want him to turn me against the people who actually care about me#i don't wanna be alone anymore#but he makes me build up all these walls n he's the only one w/ the key when it should be the other way around#he's the one i should be keepin out not everyone else#spdrvent#fuck!!!
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*deep breath* Okay. Here we go.
I don't think the Netflix Avatar show likes women very much. It's a great show for fans of Aang, Sokka, Zuko, and Iroh specifically. All four of those characters get a ton of great material. In fact, it's super great for Sokka stans, because the show takes him ultra-seriously and can't go five minutes without one character or another (usually a woman) praising him.
But the way it handles its female cast is troublesome.
Katara
So, all three of the main trio got some changes made to their stories. They changed Aang's story so that he wasn't running away from his responsibilities; He was just clearing his head and somehow accidentallied himself into a tsunami. Whoopsy-dooodle. Aang did nothing wrong.
They changed Sokka's story so that him being a leader of his people and a great guardian warrior is treated with complete seriousness. Multiple times, characters stop to talk about how brave and noble Sokka is for taking on such an intense responsibility, and tell him to his face what a great warrior and a wonderful leader he is. Also his misogyny is erased.
And they changed Katara's story so that she directly got her mom killed because she sucks at waterbending.
Katara tries to waterbend to attack the Fire Nation soldier but couldn't manage it, provoking the soldier to start actively searching for her and forcing her mom to fake a waterbending attack and draw his fire. They changed Katara's story so that her bad decision making fucking got her mom killed.
This is treated with the same level of severity as "Sokka was bullied by mean kids and also his dad doesn't think he's good enough to be a leader."
"I hoped Sokka would do better but not everyone is meant to have people's lives in their hands," Sokka's dad says of him.
Yeah, you're right, that's totally comparable to watching your mom get barbecued because you tried to waterbend in a situation you shouldn't have and then failed.
In fact, they give Sokka's greatest trauma more weight because it gets examined again with Yue next episode, while Katara actively getting her mom killed isn't brought up again at all. We get traumatized glimpses of it throughout the season leading up to the reveal, but after this scene in episode 5, it never comes up again.
But to be fair, Katara was a child. An event this significant would surely have motivated her, driving her to become the great waterbender she is now, right?
No! Katara sucks at waterbending and needs men who aren't even waterbenders to teach her how to waterbend. She requires instruction from Aang in episode 1 to learn how to waterbend, then from Jet in episode 3 to learn how to waterbend better.
And unlike the show, her relationship with Aang isn't a give-and-take; Katara doesn't teach Aang a single goddamn thing. He never learns to waterbend. She is a strictly a pupil throughout the whole season. Though she at least gets officially labeled a master in episode 8, so there's that.
In any case, the whole traumatic memory thing isn't even the only time she's directly compared with Sokka. Episodes 3 and 4 see Katara and Sokka bicker over whose morally dubious side character is better. Sokka likes the Mechanist and Katara likes Jet.
Ultimately, Katara is forced to eat crow when Jet turns out to be the worst, while Sokka is vindicated when the Mechanist sees the error of his ways and reforms. But not before two separate arguments where Sokka calls Katara childish and accuses her of acting like a little girl.
Arguments ultimately resolved when Katara apologizes to Sokka for not adequately respecting his very serious and ultra important role as village protector and leader. Gives him a whole speech about how great and glorious he is. And Sokka... appreciates Katara learning to respect him properly, I guess, because he never offers any similar sentiments back to her.
The show just... They need you to know how important Sokka is, okay? It's very important that you respect Sokka.
Suki
Suki suffers tremendously from that whole "Sokka's misogyny was removed" thing. Y'know, because they need something else to do with that episode. The show is deeply aware that Suki is Sokka's love interest, so they just do that right off the bat. Suki falls madly in love with him from the moment they meet, and spends the entire episode making goo-goo eyes and trying to get him to Notice Me Senpai.
They still do the "Suki Trains Sokka" stuff. But Sokka is a serious, dignified manly man worthy of the deepest respect now, so of course they don't make him wear the Kyoshi uniform. Instead, the main purpose of his training is to allow them to flirt some more. It's less martial arts training and more an excuse to grope each other and near-kiss.
Suki's just a waifu now. She still fights real good, but all of the stuff that made her relationship with Sokka interesting has been erased.
Yue
Yue, similarly, leaps straight to shipping from the word go. They write out her fiance, Hahn, by having Yue briefly meet Sokka earlier in the season. She spends one minute talking to him in the Spirit World about Spirit World lore; In that time, she falls so desperately, madly, unfathomably in love with him that she breaks off her marriage to Hahn and devotes herself to waiting for him to one day come to her.
"Never have I known such joys as that time you let me explain the spirit bear Hei Bei to you. Truly, we are destined to be together for life."
Like with Suki, they go out of their way to have Yue and Sokka already be a ship from the word 'go' so they don't have to spend time developing any kind of meaningful attraction.
They just. They really want you to know that Sokka is the manliest and most desirable man ever to walk this earth. It is very important that you understand how great he is. Women hurl themselves into his arms with zero effort whatsoever, because he's just so goddamn irresistible.
Fortunately, Hahn is super okay with this turn of events. He's the most chill guy ever, he gets along perfectly well with Sokka, and he completely supports Yue's right to dump him! In the famously misogynistic Northern Water Tribe, no less! What a swell guy. Aren't men swell?
June
June gets hit with that "rewritten as hollow waifu" stick too, but her eyes are set on Iroh. They rewrote June to be super attracted and flirty towards the man who was her unwanted sexual harasser in the source material. So that's fun.
Also, she barely does anything. Zuko hires her to find Aang, she succeeds, and then she fucks right off out of the show - But she manages to find time to express how unbelievably sexy Iroh is twice during that time.
She seriously just dropped into the show to flirt with Iroh and leave. She is unbelievably inconsequential.
Kyoshi
And then there's Kyoshi. They really want you to hate Kyoshi. She's constantly shot from below, as if looking down on Aang and the audience. Her voice takes on a demonic echoing reverb at one point as she's screaming at Aang that "THE AVATAR MUST BE A MERCILESS WARRIOR!!!"
She despises Aang, calling him a coward for running away from his responsibilities - Which, I remind you, is no longer a plot point because they unwrote that flaw from his character. So she's just a complete and utter asshole, shot from the asshole angle, yelling violently at him with asshole sound effects. They want you to despise this woman.
Azula
Awkwardly, they do not seem to want you to despise Azula.
There's a lot to be said for how Ozai treats Azula in the original show. The way the favoritism he shows her is every bit as cruel and manipulative as the unfavoritism that he shows Zuko. Ozai does not love Azula. He loves the reflection of himself he sees in her eyes, and his encouragement urges her to polish herself to ensure his reflection always shines through.
This is not that. The show instead erases the favoritism entirely. Ozai doesn't really care one way or another about either of his kids. He plays them against each other, bragging openly to Azula about how great Zuko is and unpleasably writing Azula off as weak and useless.
They've rewritten the dynamic between abusive father and his two abused kids in order to take Azula's pride away. Reimagining her from a gifted prodigy who excels at imitating the toxic behaviors of a father who doesn't truly care for her, to a put-upon overachiever tearing herself in knots to live up to the standards of her unpleasable father.
This results in a truly wild portrayal of Azula as insecure and jealous of Ozai's seemingly love for Zuko. Here, she is simply a browbeaten child constantly complaining to her friends about how mean her father is and conspiring to get one up over Daddy's Golden Child Zuko.
Which she fails at, because she backs Zhao. Zuko deftly defeats her without even realizing they're in competition.
Conclusion
The season ends well for some of these women. It ends promising that maybe we'll see Katara teaching Aang some day. It ends with Zhao bragging that Ozai just used Zuko to train Azula so maybe we'll see the more confident and misguidedly proud Azula some day. Yue becomes the moon like she's supposed to. June's still out there so maybe she'll get to do something again some day.
Katara gets to fight Pakku and lose, but she looks pretty cool. She gets to fight Zuko and lose, but she looks pretty cool. Azula learns to lightningbend because she's just so mad about Ozai's contempt for her and favoritism for Zuko, which isn't how you lightningbend.
But promises of future content fall flat when the content that exists is so underwhelming. This season made its feelings on these characters pretty evident, and it's unwise to expect better material from creators who've disappointed you with the material they already made.
The women of Netflix Avatar simply do not get to shine, outside of superficial moments like the "Women of Northern Water Tribe demand the right to fight and then fuck off and don't do anything for the entire rest of the episode" bit.
"In the midst of battle, we demand that you stop being sexist and give us permission to fight! This is a way better idea than convincing you to teach us to fight before the battle begins."
The characters of this show feel as if they've been reimagined to glorify the boys at the expense of the girls. The boys are treated with a great amount of care. They're dignified and made important movers of the plot, with their rough edges sanded off. While the girls are molded around them.
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