#someday ill make more for other characters

[dustwatcher]

rusty "fireheart" and tiger the claw have a civil conversation

needed to doodle this to get the au out of my head so i can get back to writing my novel

bonus tigerclaw belt buckle design:

[vzajemnik]

ohhhhhh sticky note.........youll never be famous and thats ok❤️

[flowerandblood]

The Lost Haven (6/16)

[ modern mafia • Aemond x niece • female ]

[ warnings: uprotected sex, incest obviously, smut, the angst, injection of a sleeping drug, violence, bad, bad things ]

[ description: The vacation from eight years ago still haunts his memories and doesn't let him forget what happened between him and his niece, the daughter of his sister and Harwin Strong. Their paths separate and he immerses himself in his father's mafia world until the day she calls him for the first time since those events. Sexual tension, dark, dangerous, withdrawn, thirsty Aemond. ]

Author’s note: As promised, this is another, this time official modern version of The Fall from the Heavens. In this version, Daemon is not related to the family, but is simply Rhaenyra's husband and the leader of the second gang, Alys and Larys are also not related to each other, but Larys is Harwin's brother. I will partly refer to the original series, hiding some easter eggs, and some will be a completely new, fresh plot. As in every universe, only Aemond calls her Rhaenys and this is not her real name (she is unnamed character and the others also do not know that he calls her that). There will be a lot more brutality and angst in this version, so watch out. You can read this as a standalone story.

Series & Characters Moodboard Aemond & Rhaenys Moodboard

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Next chapters: Masterlist

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She had felt the closeness of his body all night: his arms locked her in his embrace every time she rolled over on the bed, with a murmur of satisfaction finding with her a new position in which he could snuggle into her.

Although he kept his hand on her bare buttock, desperately wanting to feel her skin, she did not perceive this touch as sexual per se: there was a need for physical affection in him that only another living, warm body could give.

He smelled of alcohol, cigarettes, mint gum and intense, masculine perfume. This combination dulled her and relaxed her making her fall asleep again immediately even when she woke up, his touch, his presence, their bodies entwined together soothed her.

She was sure that in the morning he would wake up horrified by everything that had happened, begging her to go to the pharmacy to get the pill that would prevent any unplanned pregnancy, the effects of their ill-considered excess.

He, however, took her again, more tenderly and slowly, making her feel so good, too good, because, after all, it should feel bad, it should be disgusting, it should hurt.

But it didn't.

She was too wet, he slid into her too easily, he was trying too hard to rub against the spot from which shivers of pleasure ran through her, making her womanhood twitch with convulsions of sweet ecstasy.

She felt remorse for not standing up to him, for opening her thighs to him twice even though she had promised herself that it would never happen, that it was just her hideous deviation that she would keep to herself forever.

"Are you taking pills?" He asked when it was all over, and she froze, snapped out of her reverie.

"No." She muttered, knowing what he meant, what he was going to say.

She felt like vomiting at the thought.

He surprised her when his lips placed a warm, gentle kiss on her cheek.

"It's your body. But know that I'd like to be the father of your child. Someday. You decide when. If ever." He whispered in her ear and she froze completely, shocked.

I'd like to be the father of your child.

Someday.

If ever.

How could he say something like that?

She felt a twinge of regret towards herself that something in his words brought her a strange relief.

He couldn't be her boyfriend, her husband, but he could be the father of her children.

"I…I don't know what I'll do yet. I need to think about it." She mumbled, feeling her heart pounding like crazy, not knowing what she was supposed to respond to his words.

She heard him swallow hard, as if something hurt him in what she said.

"Let me know when you've made your decision about...you know. Please." He whispered, and she felt a squeeze in her throat at the thought that he wanted to know what she was going to do.

Whether or not she would buy the pill in the pharmacy.

She pressed her lips together at the thought that even if she complied with his request, it wouldn't change anything.

"So that you won't answer me?" She asked in a shaky voice, hearing him lift himself on his arm at her words.

"I'll. I swear I'll. Hey. Hey, look at me." He said, but she didn't believe him, because she knew he would hurt her again.

They were destined to do so.

It was just a pleasant dream, nothing more.

"I mean it. I swear. I…" He didn't get to finish because they both flinched and pulled away from each other, terrified when they heard a loud banging on her door.

"Open up." Daemon called out and they both stood up as if burned, dressing quickly.

"Wait a minute!" She said, handing him his shoes and jacket.

"Go to the toilet." She whispered to him, running quickly to the door herself when she heard him lock himself in the room.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

She swallowed loudly, trying to control her panic and opened it, looking at her step-father with big eyes. She opened her mouth, but he spoke up first.

"Get changed, we're leaving immediately." He said dryly, looking her over from top to bottom, his brow furrowed.

Did she overlook something?

Could he see what she had just done?

"But why so sudden? I'd like to have breakfast. Has something happened?" She muttered, trying to sound as casual as possible.

"Viserys is dead." He said, and she froze, feeling her heart stuck in her throat.

With a remnant of her strong will she held herself up from looking behind her, towards the toilet.

God, he'd definitely heard that.

"– what? – but –"

"They called the ambulance, Alicent found him dead in his bed. Who was banging on your door last night?" He asked, and she swallowed hard, feeling a cold sweat run down her back.

She couldn't lie, she had to think of something.

"Aemond. We talked about the past." She whispered, looking at him pleadingly, asking him to leave it alone.

"Is he here?" He asked coldly, stepping inside, looking around the room. His step headed towards the toilet, and she stood in his way.

"Y-yes. He was drunk and fell asleep on the floor. You scared me, we didn't know what to do." She muttered, feeling burning tears of shame and horror under her eyelids, the fear that squeezed her lungs made her breathe with difficulty.

One more time, just this one more time let me lie, she thought.

Please, this one more time.

"Get out of there. Now." He directed his words towards the door, which opened a moment later.

Her uncle came out of there pale, trembling all over, though she had no idea whether from fear or because of what he had heard.

"Go to your mother. She needs you now. Your older brother is completely drunk." Her step-father said, and her uncle passed them without a word and left, not even bestowing a single glance on them.

She pressed her lips into a thin line, clenching her thighs together, feeling his semen begin to flow down her leg.

She took a deep breath, trying not to burst into sobs and to keep up appearances that nothing had happened.

When Daemon's hand touched her head and pulled her to him, making her hit his chest, when his arms closed her in a secure embrace, she burst out into a loud, miserable cry.

She was pathetic, she was dirty, she was worthless, a simple whore, a vessel for his seed.

He did what he wanted with her, and she allowed him to.

"We'll go to the pharmacy. We'll sort it out. Don't worry." He said, and she felt both gratitude and horror at his words.

We'll sort it out.

He knew.

Her distraught mother went with Alicent and her siblings, and she, Daemon and her brothers were to return home together. On her way out of the building she spotted her uncle smoking a cigarette, his gaze blank and absent, directed somewhere in the distance.

He heard their footsteps and turned, meeting her gaze – the way he lowered his head in shame, looking away made her feel tears under her eyelids.

Of course it had ended like that.

It was just a dream, nothing more.

"We'll stop at the pharmacy on the way. Your sister is feeling unwell." Communicated Daemon as they set off, driving out of the car park.

She looked at her uncle again through the window and saw that he was looking at her, his eyebrows arched in pain, his lips parted, as if he regretted letting her go without saying goodbye.

She swallowed hard, resting her forehead against the glass, unable to focus on Jace's or Luke's questions, fearing what would now happen to their grandfather's business.

That's what everyone was wondering now, she thought.

As they drove down to the shopping arcade near their house, Daemon stopped in the parking lot and looked at her over his shoulder.

"Are you going to manage on your own or should I come with you?" He asked, and she felt her heart squeeze with pain.

She was afraid.

"Can you come with me?" She muttered, feeling tear after tear begin to run down her cheeks. Jace touched her shoulder, terrified.

"Do you feel that bad? Did you poison yourself with something?" He asked and she nodded, looking straight into her step-father's eyes.

"Yes. Yes, I poisoned myself with something very badly."

The experience of walking into a pharmacy with her step-father to buy a morning-after pill was one of the strangest and most uncomfortable things she had experienced in her life.

The lady pharmacist looked at Daemon grimly, as if she assumed he was responsible for all the fuss, putting her into a state of utter embarrassment.

Even though she tried to stand up to him, Daemon paid up and told her to hide the pack in her backpack as soon as they walked out of there.

"Read the leaflet carefully. Do everything as it says."

"I know." She muttered, for some reason bursting out crying again, wiping her reddened cheeks with her hand, trying not to think about the curious stares of other people around them.

"Everything has consequences. It will be fine. Don't worry. I won't say anything to your mother." He said, and she nodded.

It was the right thing to do, the logical thing to do, the safe thing to do.

This was the right thing to do.

When they got home, she went upstairs to her room and locked herself in, saying she wanted to take a shower. Daemon and her brothers were waiting for a call from her mother, and her stepsisters were in classes, so she had apparent peace and quiet.

For now.

She sat down on her bed and pulled a small packet with one pill inside from her backpack. She unrolled the leaflet and started to read, but couldn't concentrate.

I'd like to be the father of your child.

Why did he say that?

Did he want to have a clear conscience?

She swallowed hard, burying her face in her hands, not understanding why she had doubts.

After all, she was so young, still going to university. How would she explain her pregnancy? What would she tell her mother? That it was casual unprotected sex with a stranger, that she could have taken the morning-after pill but was an idiot?

She wanted to call him, to talk to him, but immediately afterwards she thought that he would tell her anything so that he himself would not feel remorse, the end result being that she would be left with a swollen belly, grief and humiliation alone.

She pressed her lips together and took the tablet out of the packet, grabbing for the bottle of water standing on her bedside table and hesitated, wanting to put it into her mouth.

Yes.

No.

I don't want to.

But it's the right thing to do.

I don't want to.

But I can't do it alone.

I don't want to.

I could love this child.

I have always wanted to be a mother.

I'm scared.

No one will understand.

I don't want to.

She closed her eyes, stood up, went into her bathroom and threw the pill into the toilet, flushing it down, letting it flow along with her certainty that what she had done would have no consequences.

It will be what is meant to be, she thought, sitting down with no strength on the cold tiles, feeling an emptiness in her heart.

When Daemon asked her if she had done the right thing she said yes.

She wasn't sure if he believed her or not, but he stroked her head anyway before walking out and leaving her alone.

By the time their mother got home it was late in the evening: from what she had managed to overhear it appeared that Viserys was really dead, that he had died in his sleep, that he had not suffered and that she was to go to the notary in two days' time to hear his last will.

That was what everyone was worried about.

What share of the estate would go to whom.

She shuddered, feeling the vibration of her phone in her hand, and froze when she looked at the display.

Aemond.

He was calling her.

She swallowed hard, locking herself immediately in her room, panicked, feeling her heart pounding like crazy.

She answered the call and put the phone to her ear, hearing a noise on the other end, as if someone was driving a car.

"Yes?"

She heard him grunt, as if he was afraid of what he was about to say.

"How are you?"

What kind of question was that?

What was she supposed to answer that?

It was great sex, uncle, maybe we'll be parents soon?

"I don't know." She said, walking closer to the window, not wanting anyone in the corridor to hear that she was on the phone.

She heard him swallow hard, feeling involuntarily how difficult it was for him.

Why was she making excuses for him so easily?

"Did you…go to the pharmacy?" He asked finally.

"Yes."

"And?"

"No."

There was silence on the other side for a moment.

"No, what?"

"I wasn't able to do it. I don't expect anything from you." She said in a trembling voice. "I'll manage on my own. If it turns out that…"

She didn't finish, preferring not to say it out loud.

She heard the sound of the key turning on the other side and the silence indicating that he had turned off the engine.

"I want this. If it's going to happen. I want to be a part of it."

"It sounds right only in your head."

"No. I mean it."

She closed her eyes and swallowed hard, wanting to tell him first that she didn't need his pity, but reminded herself after a moment that this was the day his father had died.

She sighed quietly, looking out the window at the courtyard of her house.

"And you? How do you feel? With everything that's happened."

"Depends on what you ask." He replied, but his tone of voice changed, becoming cool again.

"About your father."

"We knew he was seriously ill. That this was probably his last birthday."

They were quiet for a moment, however there was something warm in that silence, some kind of understanding and comfort.

"You said you didn't regret it." He said finally, and she drew in a loud breath at the memory of what they had done.

She didn't know what she was supposed to answer.

She was sad, bitter, disappointed, but did she regret it?

No.

"I still think so. But I didn't get my hopes up about anything, if that's what you're aiming for. Daemon won't tell anyone about this. He won't…"

"Why was it so right?"

She froze, feeling heat in her lower abdomen at his question.

"Since it was wrong. So fucking wrong." He continued, as if his darkest, most disturbing thoughts were pouring out of him. "Then why it was so pleasant?"

"The forbidden fruit tempts most." She whispered.

She heard him swallow loudly, drawing in air deeply, as if something in her words pained him.

"Is that what it was for you?"

"I don't know. And for you?" She asked angrily, not understanding what he wanted to hear from her after so many years of silence, after he had come to her room in the middle of the night without a word of explanation and fucked her like there was going to be no tomorrow.

"I wanted…nevermind." He hissed.

"No. Say it." She demanded, hearing him twist in his seat.

"For eight years you pretended I didn't exist, I deserve this." She said in pain, feeling a squeeze in her throat so strong that she ran out of breath.

Don't hang up, please don't hang up.

"I want to try." He said at last, so quietly and uncertainly that she barely heard him.

"I don't understand."

"I would like to study archaeology. You wrote me that if I asked you to, you would help me get into university." He mumbled like a small, embarrassed child, startling her completely.

What?

"I…well, but…there are only two months left to submit the documents. What day is today? Thursday. Are you thinking about full-time or part-time studies?" She asked, walking over to her calendar, trying to count in her head how much time they had.

God, there was a desire in him to change something.

She knew that if she discouraged him, she might soon find out that someone had shot him in the head.

"Only part-time classes are an option." He replied finally. "Is it manageable? Do they have any…requirements?"

"Passed final exams in high school, preferably in history or a language." She explained. "There are also entrance exams, but they are not difficult."

"I had the best result in the history final exam in the whole class." He muttered and she nodded, feeling a rush of adrenaline.

"Good. That's very good, Aemond. It can be done. If you want, come to my University tomorrow, we can talk to my professor about whether a personal teaching plan would come into play if you got in."

"Is there such a thing?"

"Yes, for students who are working at the same time."

"Really?" He asked, a note of hope in his voice that made her heart clench.

"Yes. Text me when you can be there, the professor has class until 3 p.m. Okay?"

"Okay."

"See you tomorrow." She said and hung up, looking at her phone screen in disbelief.

She didn't know why she jumped up and down with happiness, why she believed that things would change, that she would really get him back.

She wanted so badly to know that there was still hope for both of them.

Throughout the next day she feared he would give up and not come.

She thought with horror that he was, after all, a complete stranger to her.

What did she know about him?

Despite her doubts, he finally wrote to her.

How did he know where he was supposed to arrive?

She figured he might have looked it up on the internet and went out to meet him, intending to pick him up from the car park. When she saw his car pull into the driveway she approached him, keeping a safe distance. He got out of the car and automatically reached into his jacket for his pack of cigarettes.

"There's no smoking allowed on University premises." She said.

He lowered his hand in a gesture of impatience, furrowing his brow.

"Are you fucking serious?"

"Yes. Let's go. We'll find my professor in the teachers' common room, he's just having a break between lectures." She said, and he moved behind her, looking around at the walls of the large, brick, old building from the 19th century.

"Does he know I'm coming?" He asked uncertainly, clearly tense.

People passing him looked at his face, at his scar.

She felt uncomfortable with the thought, angry for some reason that he couldn't just walk down the corridor in peace.

Was it always like this?

In the shop, in the office, in the restaurant, at school?

Everyone looking at him.

"Yes."

When they got there she knocked on the right door. Her professor, Mr Addams, was a hearty, grey-haired, rather short man with big glasses and a short, elegantly trimmed beard. He was a man of great passion and they immediately found a common language through which he began to take her on his private excavations as a help.

In this way, she managed to collect any savings of her own.

"Professor. This is my friend I mentioned to you." She said, glancing over her shoulder, her uncle's face pale and terrified, his healthy eye wide open.

Good God.

Her professor held out his hand to him, and to her relief he showed any social reflexes and shook it.

"My pleasure. Miss Strong spoke of you in all superlatives. Please, let's go to my office." He said, moving briskly down the corridor with a bundle of keys in his hand, and they moved to follow him.

Mr Addams opened the door to the room and invited them inside into a small study with a high window, all lined with wooden panelled walls, an oak bookcases filled to the brim with books, a desk and several chairs all around it.

The professor sat behind the table, sighing heavily, indicating their seats on the opposite side.

"I'm listening." He said, and she looked at her uncle. He gave her a horrified look, convinced apparently that she would do everything for him.

"So. My friend didn't have the opportunity to study because of his job. I was wondering if there would be the possibility of personal teaching plan or part-time study in that case." She said finally. The man raised his eyebrows and scratched his chin.

"Classes can be studied in part-time, but you have to do a lot of practice hours on excavations, as you know, Miss Strong. They are obligatory." He said.

"Yes, but my friend works at night. He could take part in them during the day. Right?" She asked, glancing at him out of the corner of her eye. Her uncle grunted, tense, not knowing where to look, his fingers clenched into fists.

His face then when Jace took his boxers from him, his loud sobs, his hands clenched into fists as he stood up to his waist in water.

"Yes. Yes, that would be possible." He replied lowly, trailing his fingers along the armrest.

The professor nodded.

"Well, if that's the case, then please prepare yourself for the exams. Then we'll see what comes of it." He said and rose, nodding at them.

"Is that it?" Her uncle muttered, looking at her with big eyes, as if he expected to be questioned for hours by this man.

"Yes." She replied. "Thank you, Professor."

When they went outside and said goodbye to Mr Addams they stood in awkward silence, not knowing what to do with themselves.

"If you'd like, I'll wait and drive you home." He offered, not looking at her but somewhere to the side, pretending to read something interesting on a poster hanging on the wall.

"No need. Mum will pick me up." She replied.

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye and grinned under his breath.

"They pick you up and drop you off like a little girl?" He sneered, making her feel an unpleasant sting in her heart.

"Ever since someone put a rape pill into my drink, yes."

His expression changed, filled with sudden shame and discomfort. He grunted and scratched his chin, embarrassed.

"Do you know who did this? I can take care of it. For your comfort." He added, as if to make amends to her for his ill-considered words.

"Larys Strong." She said, and he looked at her shocked as if he didn't believe she had said that.

"What?"

"I already told you. He was telling me about my father."

"But it wasn't him who put it into your drink, it was one of his people, right?"

"He asked me if I wanted a drink. I said no. Then he ordered water for me. I took a few sips from it and struggled to get to the bathroom."

Her uncle stared at her wide-eyed, breathing loudly through his nose, his lips pressed together in a way from which she felt fear and a cold sweat on her back.

"Son of a bitch." He hissed, running his hand over his face, turning his head away, clearly thinking of something she didn't like.

"Don't interfere. Go home." She said impatiently. He looked at her, surprised.

"And when are you going to teach me?" He muttered.

"What?"

"For the exams. I need you to help me. How do I reconcile what I have to do at night with studying if I don't know where to start?" He asked, and she sighed heavily, burying her face in her hands.

"Okay. Okay, I'll help you. I'll pass you the study books somehow." She said finally, giving in, recognising that she had no choice, that whether she wanted to or not, she had to help him get out of this life that was destroying him every day.

She didn't want him to die.

He stood over her and stared at her, his warm breath enveloping the top of her head.

"Can I touch your hand?"

She lifted her gaze to him and met his eyes, one blank, staring dully ahead, the other red with emotion, his full lips parted involuntarily in an accelerated breath.

She held out her hand towards him, and he took his from the pocket of his trousers, grasping her little fingers in his.

There was something frighteningly natural about the way they intertwined, how perfectly they fit together, how right they looked in a tender embrace.

"Walk me out."

And off they went together, walking down the University's sidewalks, holding hands as if they were a couple.

There was something childlike and naïve about it, about how tightly their fingers clasped together, how close the embrace was, how much they needed proof that nothing was over between them.

She thought it was a pathetic attempt to reclaim their lost childhood.

She let go of his hand as they stopped at his car and watched as he got in without a word, only to drive away a moment later without even bestowing a single glance on her.

She spent the rest of the day during class unable to focus on what she was hearing, pondering how she was going to fool Daemon and her mother into thinking she was spending time with someone else while she was actually helping him study.

She concluded, when she saw her stepfather's face behind the wheel and not her mother's, that it might be worth it to just stop lying.

When she got into the passenger side of the car and Daemon set off, she began to speak at once.

"I'm helping Aemond get into University."

Daemon snorted at her words, surprised, frustrated and intrigued all at the same time. She clamped her hands on the fabric of the backpack lying on her lap, dreading his answer.

"Interesting."

Is that all?

"I want to help him prepare for his exams. He has very little time."

"No."

She swallowed hard hearing him say the word coldly and confidently.

"Why?"

Daemon switched on his indicator and turned at the crossroads even though he should have been driving straight, leaving her stunned.

"What are you doing? Where are we going?" She muttered, feeling her heart start to pound like crazy with terror.

"You'll see."

They stopped in one of the busiest streets in the city: her stepfather had told her to get off, so she did, moving a moment later right behind him towards one of the pubs.

"Not open yet, mate." Said a tall, stocky man in a black suit stopping him with his hand.

"For me it is. Mate." He scoffed.

The man wanted to say something, but someone from downstairs called out to let them in.

A woman.

They went down the stairs inside: apart from them and the bartender, who was mopping the floor, a beautiful black-haired woman was sitting at one of the tables, bent over a laptop. Seeing her stepfather she stood up and approached them with a smile that was both seductive and disturbing.

Her eyes were unnaturally green.

"Well, well. Fucking Alys Rivers. The world is small." Daemon said and shook her hand in a gesture as if they had once been partners.

"What brings you here?" She asked softly, directing the gaze of her bright eyes at her, her voice melodious and deep.

The woman examined her figure from top to bottom, as if she had just been looking at something tasty.

"I came to show my step-daughter the brutality of life." He explained, glancing at her over his shoulder with some kind of pride, as if he was just about to teach his son some very manly and important things.

Alys Rivers cocked her head at his words, glancing at her with a look that frightened her.

As if she had heard of her before.

"Oh. I see. Well, I won't disturb you. It was good to see you. Give my regards to your wife." She said and returned to her seat, clicking something on her laptop again.

Daemon moved forward and sat a table at the other end of the room. She sat next to him, tense, and after a moment a man came out of the back room who had not noticed them, walking straight towards the black-haired woman.

It was only when she saw his face that she understood why her stepfather had taken her there.

He had three long scars on the left side of his face.

The man only noticed them when the woman pointed her finger at them. He nodded at them and Daemon reciprocated the gesture, looking at her.

"Guess who left him such a beautiful reminder."

On the way back home, she was silent, because that was also the state of her mind: it was empty. No thought, no feeling, no sound or word flowed through her: images from outside the window flashed before her eyes, as if she were watching a film.

A passive observer of someone else's life.

"Robert wasn't the only one. There are seven others. Most recently Tyland. They were in arrears, and Otto is very much on his word. I worked for him, just like your one-eyed uncle." He said, and she looked at him shocked.

"What?" She muttered.

"I slammed them with a baseball bat until they looked like a red tomato. They had all their facial bones broken. They looked like completely different people afterwards." He said, and she lowered her gaze, feeling discomfort, horror, disbelief.

She rarely thought about what they did to people who didn't pay them on time because she knew that if she started doing it, she wouldn't get a single peaceful night again.

"Your uncle is now his dog. The faithful hound he has raised for himself for eight years. Even if some part of him would like to run away, he knows he cannot bite the hand that feeds him. A dog can only have one owner, and that is his grandfather, even if you wish it were otherwise."

"Don't speak about him like that. As if he wasn't human." She exclaimed in pain, looking at him in disbelief. Daemon shook his head.

"You don't understand. He's brainwashed. He's trapped in his big cage and he thinks he's free. But as soon as he tries to take a step too far, Otto will react and you'll get the message from him that he's not going to university and he'll never see you again. If it was just about fucking, I'd be able to understand it. I also did… reckless things when I was your age, but you get involved, naively mistaking his euphoria at meeting you after eight years for affection that could change anything."

Each successive word from him was like needles that, one by one, drove into her heart, a bucket of cold water that made her begin to quiver, red with shame, sadness and regret.

Some part of her knew he was right.

She closed her eyes, seeing in her mind the face of a man with three scars.

He had done this to him.

How could the hands that touched her so tenderly, so softly, do such a thing?

A dog can only have one owner, and that is his grandfather, even if you wish it were otherwise.

She knew that the comparison her step-father used was cruel and derogatory, but she understood in a way what he was warning her about.

Her uncle was lonely and manipulated by his grandfather, full of complexes and insecurities that made him cling to what was safe and familiar, which if there was too much risk would cause him to withdraw.

She realised that he would never choose her.

What happened between them was pure coincidence, the result of their collision in a place and time beyond their control.

A desperate attempt to connect again.

She spent the rest of the day in the garden, watering the flowers and weeding around them, trying to calm and soothe herself. The sight of them, those beautiful, vibrant colours of their petals gave her pleasure, comfort in a state where she felt she would never experience any other joys in her life again.

The next day her mother and Daemon went to the notary to hear her grandfather's last will. Everyone was tense and sullen from the morning, knowing what it meant.

A war of influence was looming over what Viserys had left behind, pubs, clubs, businesses, more than half of their entire family's source of income.

Jace and Luke were restless, looking out of the windows once in a while, talking loudly about the fact that whatever their mother was getting, Otto would surely want to take from them by force, and they would never agree to that.

"Stop it." She muttered, sighing heavily. Baela, who was sitting next to her, squeezed her hand in hers, sensing her uncertainty.

"They're coming back!" Jace called out as he ran out into the driveway and they followed him, looking with big eyes at Daemon's and his security guards' cars.

Her stepfather stepped out of the car with a broad smile as if he was the winner of some world championship, however, her mother was pale and her face expressed horror.

"Everything. Viserys bequeathed everything to your mother in his will." He said spreading his hands as if he had received a blessing from God himself.

Jace and Luke ran up to him and hugged him as if it was the best day of their lives, but she and her step-sisters felt exactly the same as her mother.

Terror.

Everything.

Her uncles, her aunt, his second wife got nothing.

"How can this be?" She mumbled, shaking her head.

"He left them some big estates by the sea and in the city. I don't give a shit. Tonight we're celebrating, my dears, we're having a banquet!" Daemon exclaimed as he walked into their house, but she approached her mother, who was barely on her feet.

"Mom?" She muttered.

Rhaenyra looked at her and shook her head, following her husband into the house.

She knew what she was thinking about.

Otto will never leave it like this.

"Each of you will have a bodyguard assigned to you from today. We are reinforcing the security of our home, each of us can now be a target. You do not speak to anyone from that part of the family without consulting me or your mother." Said her stepfather, holding a glass of champagne in his hand, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye, giving her a protracted, uneasy look.

She lowered her gaze, feeling discomfort in her stomach, having the impression that she had forgotten how to breathe.

Taking advantage of the fact that Daemon was in euphoria and he, along the other men who worked with them had made a party, she went back to her room. She lay down in bed hearing their laughter and loud conversations downstairs, not understanding where their reason for joy came from.

Did they love killing each other so much?

She shuddered as her display lit up – she reached for her phone with her hand and unlocked the screen as soon as she saw that he had texted her.

She swallowed hard, looking around, wondering if she should do this.

Everyone was downstairs, the security guards were drunk.

Maybe she could sneak out?

She knew the code to the gate, maybe no one would notice her if she went out the back door.

Uncertainty, fear and trepidation squeezed her heart, but some part of her wanted to believe that he really cared, that in a situation where all seemed lost he was willing to reach for the one thing that gave him hope.

Today he lost everything, she thought.

Can I take more away from him?

So she packed her books from her first year into her backpack and left the room quietly in her sweatshirt and shorts, not even trying to go for her shoes, heading for the stairs. Apart from one drunk, sleeping security guard and two men talking in the kitchen, she didn't see anyone.

She lay down on the floor and began to crawl forward, feeling like a commando on an important mission, seeing from a distance that they didn't hear her. She rose as she entered the dark hallway and quietly opened the door.

She lifted her gaze up to the camera facing the exit and cursed under her breath, stopping halfway.

She had completely forgotten about it.

What now?

She looked around, trying to remember exactly what the image from the cameras she had seen once looked like when she and Daemon were searching for something on the recordings.

One, two, three, four she started counting and spotted an area she was sure the range of none of the cameras included. She ran in that direction, propped a bucket lying next to her feet and struggled to climb the wall, pulling herself up with a groan of effort, leaping over to the other side, almost breaking her legs.

She hissed, falling onto her hands – when she lifted them she saw that she had scraped her skin there and on her knees.

She sighed heavily, recognising that she would survive such injuries and that they would be nothing compared to what Daemon would do to her if he found out she had escaped.

She'll just give him the books and go back home.

She breathed out loud when she saw his car around the corner, its engine and lights on. He opened the door from his side, looking at her with big eyes, and she quickly pulled off her backpack, giving it to him.

"Take this and get out of here." She muttered, but his hand grasped her wrist.

"– come here –"

"– I have to –"

"– come –"

She stared at him, panting hard, knowing involuntarily what he wanted, feeling the squeeze between her thighs at the thought that she wanted it too.

Comfort.

"– I –"

"– it won't take long –"

He closed the door behind her as she let his arm pull her around the waist – she clumsily sat on top of him, trying to make herself comfortable on his lap in such a tight space. She lifted herself up on her knees to slide her shorts off while he looked at her with a misty gaze, unfastening the belt to his trousers.

"– good girl – such a good girl –" He breathed out, releasing his erection immediately, throbbing and dripping with desire, ready to give her what she needed.

There was no time for any other kind of caress, so she positioned herself over him, lowering herself slowly onto his thick, smooth tip, feeling how wonderfully he opened her for himself, stretching her warm, moist walls.

"– fuck – fuck, baby –" He muttered, clamping his hands over her firm buttocks, panting and moaning loudly along with her, sliding into her in one, deep thrust.

The feeling of him deep inside her was full of tension, her interior suddenly stretched to the limit on his throbbing erection, which he began to thrust slowly into her with trembling, tentative slaps full of impatience.

"– ah – G-God –" She mumbled, feeling how her slickness helped him to force his way into her body again and again, filling her so wonderfully.

Why it felt so right when it was so wrong?

Her hands embraced his neck, their foreheads touched each other as his palms on her waist forced a quick, sharp, violent pace on her from which her nipples hardened, the pleasant tickle in her lower abdomen caused by him rubbing her where she needed it made her gasp.

"– Aemond –" She mewled, trying to find a rhythm with his body, rolling her hips back and forth, filling herself again and again with his swollen, hot manhood, feeling pleasant, warm tickle in her belly.

"– do you hear it? – do you hear how well you take me? – only you – fuck –" He gasped, pounding into her with loud, wet slaps of their hips, listening how her twitching cunt clicked with his every push. His hand sank into her hair as his moist lips brushed hers, inviting her into the warm, sticky kiss full of their saliva.

Their tongues licked and teased each other, intensifying their sensation, building a swift path to their fulfilment, their bodies slammed against each other greedily with their embarrassingly loud moans of pleasure.

It seemed to her that they were too ashamed and shocked by the situation, by what they were doing, and how pleasurable it was, how liberating it was, to fuck in his car against everyone and everything, the sticky juices of their forbidden fruit running down their thighs each time his cock sank into her weeping pussy again.

She was terrified that, despite the speed and brutality of his thrusts, his hands caressed her body so tenderly, stroking her hair, her neck, her back, her buttocks, her cheeks, allowing his lips and tongue to join hers in loud, chaotic, wet kisses full of their moans.

She couldn't stop the tension that was growing in her lower abdomen, the pleasant tickling in her fingertips and the clenching deep between her thighs that proved she was about to come.

"– where? –" He mumbled into her mouth, her hands stroking his sweaty, soft cheeks, letting the messy, greedy thrusts of his hips give her the pleasure she so needed, her lips parted wide as the aggressive, stupefying fulfilment full of relief shook her body.

"– here – right here, uncle –" She gasped, feeling only pleasure, only relief, only bliss.

He groaned loudly, helpless, and came hard inside her, throwing his head back, panting heavily along with her. He hugged her face to his sweaty neck, exactly as he had then, that night in the hotel room, his half-hard, pulsing manhood filling her with the remnants of his seed.

"– I think I'm in love with you –" He whispered in a trembling voice, making the sound stuck in her throat with emotion.

She parted her lips, not knowing what to answer him, thinking with embarrassment that she somehow reciprocated his feelings.

His hand slid off her head while the other continued to stroke her bare buttock, his soft erection still throbbing deep inside her as his lips placed a warm, soft kiss on her forehead.

"– forgive me –"

She only drew in the air loudly, shocked, and clenched her hands on his black T-shirt when she felt the needle jab into her neck. Her squeal of horror, grief, and disbelief sounded unnatural, as if she were a small animal being butchered.

Her body became numb, the image around her became blurred and unclear, a heavy, dark sleep descended on her mind as she simply relaxed in his arms, feeling his hand stroke her head again, his cheek nestled against her forehead all wet.

He cried.

[ask-whitepearl-and-steven]

Is shattering permanent in the comic (especially with the force fusions and cluster) or can it be fixed down the line like future did? Asking for your opinion on this too bc I found out about it in Future and it makes me feel weird (bc now it feels like any SU stuff and shattering has no consequence or tension, so haven’t been able to read or write stories). Maybe I’m seeing this wrong? Would love your thoughts

Hmm...

So to answer your first question: The comic for WDAU works on the same rules as canon does. I have no intention to over-write anything canon clearly stated to be true.

The ability to put back together shattered gems is definitely a part of that.

So yes, theoretically, even in WDAU, gems being shattered is not 'the end' because they can be eventually re-instated through the work of the diamonds, IF they someday decide to Change Their Minds like they did in the original series.

That being said...

I want to talk a little bit about something you said, because it tickles my brain in an interesting way:

"now it feels like any SU stuff and shattering has no consequence or tension"

And the best way to talk about stuff, I've found, is to ask questions about our underlying assumptions. So my questions for you (all) today are:

For us humans, death certainly IS a constant that remains ever-permanent, and thus it's easy to compare it to shattering and draw that parallel... but is that a fair comparison?

In fiction, death is often circumvented and there still remains reasonable tension in things like magic-heavy worlds, vampire novels, sci-fi where almost any sickness is eradicated, etc. Is this not quite similar to what shattering is for gems?

Is the perceived permanency of shattering the only reason it feels like a heavy consequence?

Are there OTHER consequences of being shattered that make it just as interesting, if not more than, to be explored as a plot device?

Must there be an ever-looming threat of something horrible and permanent happening to make a story good?

There isn't a right or wrong answer to these questions, necessarily. I'm not posing these in order to lead you to a singular, 'absolutely correct' conclusion or way of writing.

For some stories, death DOES need to be permanent in order not to make light of what the characters go through! In some forms of writing, there IS no other way around that consequence.

But I daresay SU is not one of those stories.

Let me put it this way - 100 years ago, medicine had only BEGUN to develop into the thing we know it as today. Sure, there were therapies and treatments for diseases, broken limbs, poisonings, etc. Some of them were quite good, even! But overall, the death tolls back then from basic illness were MUCH higher than they were today.

Pnumonia, Malaria, Syphillis, Smallpox, Bubonic Plague, AIDS.

These were things that people died from, with near CERTAINTY, for the LONGEST time. They were considered the road to a permanent black screen.

And today? Even though they are still, without proper intervention, JUST as deadly, we now have new tools and vaccines to combat them. Hell, if you get vaccinated fast enough you can get bit by a rabid dog and live to tell the tale, unscathed! Rabies used to be a one-stop-shop to the afterlife.

Despite this, we still view these diseases with appropriate fear. They are still dangerous - in the right conditions.

In the right conditions, the consequences for a LOT of things can be permanent. If permanency is what you're looking for.

So alright, the Diamonds can heal shattered gems now. Booooring. How easy it is to fix any shattered gem! What a simple solution to anything tragic.

But................... will they ALWAYS do so?

In fact...will the Diamonds ALWAYS be around?

Will the gems who got shattered always be picked up, piece by piece, and be brought back to them, perfectly preserved? Or will they lose pieces of themselves along the way - literally?

And what NEW consequences can we think of, when we stop thinking of the permanency of death, and start thinking of the Impermanence of those tools that keep us here longer and longer?

Just food for thought. 👀

[katkalis-the-horror-fanartist]

Whats the order of hierarchy in this au? Who's the most powerful to least powerful?

(also op that art where zoth and abducius are dancing together make me so insane/pos)

GLAD YOU LIKE THAT ONE. They have a few other things they do together too...But that's for other times 😅

These Tierlists should sum up the question. Defense Levels and Power Levels:

Then, under this cut, I'm putting the details as to why they're ordered like this! I'm also adding much needed details to be known about all these characters!

Hierarchy List (and facts)

Considering both Strength and Defense.

• Yan Luo Wang Diyu: Princess of Death. Astral Life Reaper. Brings Death. She holds complete power over her respective astral circle. All events that happen within are all orchestrated and catered by her.

• Drugia Fleuretty: Nightmare Designer. Humans have assumed that she designs clothes in the nightmare, but this is not the case. Drugia's talent is creating and designing eldritch monstrosities that reside in the Astral Circle. These creatures of fear and suffering, created by her hands (and sometimes Izanami's) send irreparable dread into many that witness them. Along with her dreadful ability, she too is rendered nearly immortal, with no known weakness. Some say that, with her knowledge and talent, she can someday destroy other Astral Circles nearby with an army of beasts from realms unknown.

• Quachil Uttaus: Misfortion Bringer. Astral Guardian. Due to their abilities, none can best them. Their misfortune is deadly, as it causes attacks to miss, injuries to become more fatal, and human organs to fail to function properly (sudden ailments such as heart attacks, strokes, etc.). Due to this, fortune absent for their opponents, Quachil's success rate for winning in a battle is set in stone as 100%. This power of Quachil's is also able to protect residents of their Astral Circle, bringing misfortune to anyone that attempts to harm any of them. As long as Quachil is aware of said confrontation. They often are, but rare cases can occur where they are fixated solely on one task.

• Chaugnar Faugn: Occultist. He controls cults circled around Yao Luo. He commands groups of her worshippers, which is already a high priviledge, yet alongside that, his defense and power are close to infinite. His weakness is undiscovered. It is said that only the Princess of Death herself can cease his life. Of course, she never will. So he reigns alongside her and is able to command her followers to defend her, himself, and her partner Orcus.

• Shub Niggurath: Famine Bringer. She is able to cause crops to be unable to grow and livestock to become malnourished and ill. Her famines can devastate entire continents of humans, and sometimes even other residents of the Astral Plane as a whole. In these cases, humans brought to the Astral Plane for soul and bodily consumption will also wither away as livestock would. Even beyond planet Earth, she is feared. Though it is believed she does have a weakness: To be decapitated by a golden axe blessed by either a god of war or a goddess of fertility and bounty. It is said however that, even if she is somehow slayed, remnants of her soul may last and continue to spawn random bouts of drought and famine.

• Zoth Ommog: Ritual Leader. Similar to the past Astral entities, Zoth is akin to a hellish god. The rituals he conducts provide many effects, defects, abilities, and assistance. Centuries ago, this sinful, lustful monstrosity was imprisoned by gods. However, Yao Luo successfully planned and initiated tactics to free him. He has since honored her and resided in her Astral Circle, providing her and her fellow residents much from his rituals. Considered the most vile entity amongst the Princess' domain, most fear him, aside from a select few admirers and slaves, whom of which Zoth marks with special sigils and engages in heretical acts with. It is said that he does have a weakness: being pierced in the heart with any golden object that has been blessed by a god of purity. This however may still prove impossible, as his heart rests within his throat, which is shielded by the very collar the gods had imprisoned him with. That, and runes he created beneath his flesh grant him many defenses.

• Teutates Taranis: Annihilator. Considered the most proficient and deadly combatant in the Princess' Astral Circle, it is said that Teutates can best any that cross his path. He, like a few other Astral Residents, has his own select group of humans and beasts that obey his commands. His subjects are marked with specific tattoos and all go through a blood pact with him. His skill in battle and talent for both swift kills and agonizing annihilations make him a formidable challenge in battle, even against other higher demonic entities. Some theorize that he has a weakness: stabbing out his eyes. Others, however, say that he is able to sense foes without sight and that this is no weakness of his. But recently, some have thought about another possible weakness of the annihilator: shooting him between the eyes with an arrow coated in a sedative. Something powerful enough to alter his brain function.

• Anazareth Anazarel: Curse Creator. After having practiced under the guidance of Yan Luo herself, Anazareth has mastered many terrible and effective curses fit for many situations. She also has a sigil bestowed upon her by Zoth in Yan Luo's will that not only increases the potency of her curses compared to others, but gave her the ability to effect even those that use magic to protect them from said curses. This sigil in turn granted her other moderate demonic powers and altered her appearance, giving her horns. She is in high enough authority to have her own followers like Zoth, Abducius, and Teutates. Her owned subjects have special tattoos on their collarbones, cheeks, or backs, and all have at least one horn as a result of them. Some say that cutting off her horns is her weakness. Other say that you must specifically burn the base of the horns after cutting them off, otherwise they may grow back. This proves difficult in idea, as she must be completely still for this to be done properly.

• Ishtar Ereskigal: Pestbringer. Similar to Shub in the aspect of affecting entire populations with food-stunting issues. Her pests range from cockroaches to rats to locusts and even mosquitos plagued with disease. Ticks, fleas, and bedbugs aren't even out of the equation. While she too can hinder farms, she can also infect households and wild environments. Her ability to devastate wildlife as well has granted her a vile, disgusting reputation. She may also use pests to assist in torture methods. It is said that her weakness is submerging her in holy water, which is already difficult to aquire in the Astral Circle. And even from Earth, it must be a decent amount.

• Abducius Morail: Mutilator. Though not as high up on the hierarchy ladder, the Mad Mutilator is heavily feared by many in the Princess' Astral Circle. His taste for agony and screams of pain lead him to be as torturous as Exael Lanithro with nearly as much battle prowess as Teutates Taranis. He takes intense euphoria and ecstasy in performing near-deadly operations and Frankenstein-esque crafts on living victims with no sedation. Even other higher-ups show slight repulsion towards him. He has some disfigured followers of his own, each one mutilated and/or branded in various ways. From skinned body parts to burned or exposed bones to body parts and organs of different animals. He has no specific weakness as he is closer to a human, but his own modifications to his body grand him decent defense, both physically and magically.

• Barbatos Barrabam: Human Hunter. Assigned an important job that benefits the Princess, Barbatos is well respected among his peers and superiors. He both speaks and acts straight to the point, always set on completing his goals with accuracy and no wasted time. Others may play with their prey, but Barbatos plays no games. They say he can see through walls. It is theorized that only being fully crushed beneath unbearable weight is enough to hault him and end his streak of humans hunted.

• Ah Puch Xilbalbá: Bone Breaker. Usually tortures mortals and disobedient slaves alongside Exael. He also often assists Abducius in breaking bones in victims in order to encourage their bones to heal improperly and become disfigured for Abducius' own enjoyment. In battle, every crunch of bones fuels him to become more violent, and once his opponent can no longer move, he may simply rip their bones out completely.

• Exael Lanithro: Torturer. Owning more twisted instruments and machines than any Astral Resident, Exael rarely runs out of torture methods for his unlucky victims. While some prefer to inflict harsh violence against their select subjects, Exael prefers more psychological and lengthy approaches, from water torture to slowly pumping victims with poison to using machines to stretch and rip victims apart. It is unknown if he takes satisfaction from his job though, as his expression rarely changes from his usual, somber look.

• Nyogtha Z'mog: Gravedigger. Though she is never often seen fighting, most if not all around her respect her. Sometimes, even humans captured and brought to the Astral Circle have minimum qualms with her. Harm against her, whether successfully applied or not, calls for instant torture. Though she has never truly proven herself in a fight, some say that she has swiftly ended the lives of those near-death with the shovel she often uses. She has also been seen using electricity to charge herself, leading to her never needing any rest, which even some superiors of hers indulge in. Her dedication to her job grant's her protection directly ordered by Yan Luo, and none dare to test to see if she is truly able to slaughter efficiently.

• Orcus Dis Pater: Skin Collector. Although nowhere near as high on the social ladder as Yan Luo, he is kept in close company to her. None have ever figured out why she keeps him so close. Orcus himself rarely speaks to others outside of the Princess' chambers, but when he does speak, those around him listen intently. Eagerly. It is said that skins he wears come from slain victims in the Astral Arena, and others have caught wind of Yan Luo working on a cloak for him. One made of 1000 skins.

• Lilith Lilitu Lilit: Witch. Brought into this Astral Circle by her best friend Anazareth. Though she has no specific assignments, she has never crossed nor annoyed the Princess, and therefore is allowed to spectate. However, recently in the past 100 years or so, she has taught herself more spells, and plans to ask for tutoring from Yan Luo, as Anazareth got.

• Izanami Yomi: Face Deformer. Her title may seem weak compared to others, but her worth comes from the fear she garners from those subjected to her ability. Her deformation powers can greatly affect the outcome of different gastly creations made by others. Whether it be carving faces for Drugia's monstrosities, sculpting faces of horror in Abducius' creations, or simply weakening an opponent by disfiguring their facial features, she has proven to not be as useless as her title makes her seem.

• Yog Sothoth: Vampire. Previously nameless before he was named by the Princess herself. He was accepted into her Astral Circle as long as he performed his designated job loyaly. His job requires him to tread between the boundaries of humans and the Astral Realm and use his looks and charisma to lure humans into being captured by his co-worker of sorts, Barbatos. It is well known that his looks are not completely of his own free will, but designed by Drugia and Anazareth as means of making him more appealing to humankind.

• Xezbet Xerbeth: Soul Eater. Xezbet shows little to no participation in Yan Luo's events. Little to nothing is known about his existence and why he has not been sent elsewhere. Some say it is because of his ability to unnerve mortals into submitting, while other say that he is only kept here to someday be harvested of all souls he has devoured.

• Dagda Crom Cruach: Soul Scarecrow. Little is known about Dagda as a whole. From his existence to his appearances in the Princess' domain. Like Xezbet, one can only hypothesize why this strange entity lurks about.

[zan0tix]

Pleaseeee tell me more about that homescryption au

A little something between you and me and everyone else who happens to look at this post. Im working on a lineup for the four scrybes :D

Roxys design is subject to change and you guys have already seen D1rk. Jane and Jake are in progress!!! (Also D1rk and Harley are the names for dirk and jake but weve been struggling to come up with appropriately fantasical/magical names for Jane and Roxy that align with magnificus and grimora😞 Harley feels old-manish enough that it fits in well… im sure well get there but if anybody has ideas feel free to comment ✌️)

But yes i can tell you more!!! ILL PUT IT ALL UNDER THE CUT THIS POST IS GOING TO BE LONG o7

Working with cyrus repliiku to flesh it out x3 he was the one who got me into the game and im CRAZY NOW!!!!

The four alpha scrybes methods of inscribing cards are that Harley uses his magic blunderbuss and the things he shoots become cards, Roxys cards are the fantasical characters she creates in her stories, Jane will be a detective of death, uncovering how cards die and writing up a casefile in her detective agency about them (might give her a magic magnifying glass. Well see), and D1rk were trying to figure out something with Sburbs captcha card + ghost captcha system like how Po3’s cards are printed from real robots

The students/the scrybes underlings are going to be other homestuck characters or splinters!

D1rks will be the robots (aradiabot, arquius (wanted him to me more unique than just brobot + hal so he gets to be a robot) and jadebot.

Harleys will be jake-ish splinters rather than new characters. Thered be the Adventurer (prospector), the Hunter (trapper/trader), the Sailor (angler), the Ectobiologist (mycologists), and the Actor (woodcarver) and his campaigns would be more Action packed like jakes action movies type stuff hehe

Janes will be the dead trolls, nepeta, equius and feferi. Not much to say besides them being dead lol 😭

And roxys were still figuring out but nerm. Viceroy/Casey, Rose (maybe goobert but they are actually nice and kind to her) and Eridan….(lonely wizard he was banished to the shadow realm for being annoying 😁👍)

Luke Carter is going to be Calliope and Satan in the greater scheme of the daniel mullins-verse will be Caliborn/Lord English because i think itd be very funny for him to just. Be making video games and thats his evil plot. LOL and Sado would be Gamzee. (Will not expand to pony island or the hex this is just clearing up the ending of inscryption)

Kaycee would probably be Aranea but like just some normal girl. Not all that sure abt the OLD_DATA tho ??? Maybe just all the wrong doings Lord English has committed and influenced culminated into the files or the code that brought him into the universe I DUNNO.

Retconning the drawing i did when i first scribbled this AU, i believe when harley turns the other scrybes into preexisting cards d1rk would become a seagull (kingfisher replacement) roxy would become a jaguar (wolf replacement) and jane would become a jackalope (pronghorn replacement) 😁

And the way harley would be defeated would be using his blunderbuss on him with a special bullet instead of film. Po3’s decapitation fulfilled the Dirk prophecy too LOL

I think that of the gameplay/card gimmicks themselves would work basically the same but i might try and come up with more creative homestucky twists on them

Im planning on finishing the designs and making sprites and more mockup screenshots :3

I might write up or draw a comprehensive ref sheet for this au someday but for now heres what weve jotted down 👍

[coldxperience]

☀︎ Lan Sizhui names etymology

Here's a complete post on the etymology of our lovely Sizuhi's various names. I've always appreciated how authors would give out names that fit their characters so well, which is why I chose to share this.

Both Lan Wangji & Wei Wuxian's are already up on my profile. ▷ MDZS Home Page

Birth Name - Lan/Wen Yuan

Lan 藍 (lán) – blue In Chinese, Lan 藍 is literally blue.

Wen 温 (wēn) – lukewarm

Yuan 愿 / 苑 (yuàn) 愿 – honest, hope/desire 苑 – park & emperor's garden

Sizhui’s other name bestowed by LWJ, Yuan (愿), means ‘hope’. Just like how he saw Weiying again shortly after meeting A-Yuan, maybe he’s also hoping for the moment that familiar voice will beckon his name once more. His name as a Wen is also Yuan, though written as 苑, meaning ‘emperor’s garden’. In the past, the imperial family built gardens for pleasure, to escape from the rigid rules and etiquette of the palace and worldly matters. It was also built to impress.

I think how this is juxtaposed against the Burial Mounds, an unliveable place that WWX and the Wens worked hard to make into not only a habitable but enjoyable living space, away from the perceptions and condemnation of the outside world. A little piece of heaven from the barbaric world, just like the imperial gardens. It was here that WWX found a sliver of hope – the author used 神清气爽 (‘refreshed, invigorated’) to describe his feelings after the Wens held a dinner to thank him. It was here that he began to question if walking on a ‘single-plank bridge to darkness’ will be dark after all. It was also here that he could focus on demonic cultivation and his inventions in peace, eventually becoming the revered Yiling Patriarch.

Courtesy Name - Lan Sizhui

Shizhui 思追 (sīzhuī) – to recollect and long for

Sizhui, his courtesy name or zi, derives from a rhyming couplet from the author Mo Xiang Tong Xiu herself. “思君不可追，念君何时归” (sī jūn bù kě zhuī, niàn jūn hé shí guī) translates to ‘yearning for but cannot chase after you, longing for someday when you will return’.

Let’s not forget that Sizhui is a love letter between LWJ and WWX. Aside from the pair of rabbits, perfume sachet, copies of Lan Sect scriptures and the Chinese peonies, Sizhui is the last ‘thing’ under LWJ’s protection who symbolises their shared memories, having been brought up for more than three years by WWX. Though Sizhui himself did not remember his life as a Wen after his illness, it’s inevitable that whenever LWJ looked at him, he would have been reminded of his mental turmoil during WWX’s seclusion at the Burial Mounds – his inability to stand by his side and yearning for bringing him back to the Cloud Recesses. Raising Sizhui as a lineal descendant was intentional – he could not save WWX but at least he could save his ‘son’.

Author Note: I am not an expert in Chinese at all, English isn't my native language either - I hope everything is correct.

▷ MDZS Home Page

[ completed ; 09/08/2024]

★ ⁺. ໒꒰ྀི｡- ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১ ૮꒰˶ᵔ ᗜ ᵔ˶꒱ა ˖⁺‧₊˚

[factual-fantasy]

29 asks! Thank you!! :))) 🛝

@skatermusic

Oh boy.. dare I even look.. 😅💀

@holly-opal

AAAAAA THANK YOUUU!!!! :DDDD

@anikakitty11

Oo! It all looks so yummy! 😋😋😋

@cat7890

Unfortunately due to my poor health, I'm unable to work on it atm.. hopefully I can get back to it someday! <:)

Oooo!! I'm surprised by the tender hearted motive! Perhaps I should give this game a look.. 👀👀

I have actually never heard of this challenge-- so yeah, I have nothing planned for it <XD

A little yeah :00 Everyone is almost exactly what you'd think they'd look like <XD Barnacles has white hair, Kwazii has orange hair, Peso has black hair.. etc.

@artistiemi

Its fiiiiine <XDD

@mahlifeissad

ooo :00 Sounds tasty! Thank you for the recipe! :))

They're intended to be there yeah. But I STILL. HAVE NOT PLAYED THE GAME. 💀 So I don't know any of the games lore and how to incorporate them into my story- <XDDD

XD Emmet has a few strong words for Arceus..

@uallstupid

Woah.. who is that guy? Is he actually a cyborg?? :00

XD I get that comment a lot actually- and I take no offence! I see the resemblance! XDD

@skatermusic

<XD Silly Barnacles!

(In response to this post)

And there's likely more where that came from!! :DDD

@chromchill (In response to this post)

Haha! XDD I'm afraid :))

@beryl-shade

I've seen 8-BitRyan play it. I like the concept and the RUIN like style it seems to have.. though I'm not a huge fan of how the animatronics/characters look in game..

I'd like them to be bigger. And either clearly fully animatronic or fully living animal. They some how look kiiind'a somewhere in between..? <:0

@justvibinginvoid (Referencing this post)

XDD Well as I get further into the show, more fanart from me is likely! :)) I'm glad you liked it!! :DDD

@gizmos-n-gadgets

Its been a while since I made their designs so I don't remember much.. but I think I tool a lot of inso from Navy/Marine/ocean?? Military?? Uniforms <XDD

Oooo :0 sounds like a slick tool! Thanks for telling me about it! :)

(In response to this post)

NOOO NOT BEAKER TOO XDDD (I assume you meant Beaker-)

@emmetest (In response to this post)

XDD They're still dealing with Kermit!!

(In response to this post)

I'd be lying if it didn't seriously discourage me at first.. but then everyone rushing to support me reminded me why I post here in the first place. :))

I'm so honored to hear that my artwork helps you through your depressive times. That make's two of us! XDD I hope to keep posting for people like you that really benefit from it <:))) thank you so much and I wish you well 💞💖💞💞

@untitled-7613

😔

(In response to this post)

You know? With how long I've been ill for.. the thought of trying to sell stickers or some kind of merch has crossed my mind more than once..

@tallchest13-blog

XD There ARE humans in their world for sure. Though they don't have a trainer. It felt weird to kind'a.. insert myself into the world..? Or someone that was meant to take my place.. And I like that with the absence of a trainer, Gloria is the leader of the group and everyone looks to her for guidance. :)

They mostly just travel from place to place. Staying away from humans due to their recent attempts to catch Anastasia.. Sleeping in caves or abandoned structures.. looking for food and sparring with each other. Just living life :))

And I am 3 days late to respond to this <XDD

<XDDD I'm sorry- but who are Bingus and dent?? XDD

@hershelwidget

AAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! :DD IM SO GLAD TO HEAR THAT IM YOUR FAVORITE ARTIST AND THAT YOU'VE GOTTEN BACK INTO PIXEL ART BECAUSE OF MEEEE 😭😭💞💖😭💞

@stupid-thatsme (Post in question)

Thank you!! Though I'm not sure I understand the question.. <XD But I have a comic I'm thinking about making that shows how Grimace mega evolved! :DD

[x-liv25-jamieswife]

ok so here are my thoughts on the first three chapters and the prologue of tgg (and like the two other chapters we got before)

don't read if you don't wanna hear criticism on lyra, other characters, and stuff. these are my opinions and you can have your own (obviously)

also, i just want to say that my opinions will definitely change as a i read the book. this is based off of what we know now (which isn't much).

also i counted the amount of chapters for each character. lyra has 31. gigi has 28, and rohan has 24 (25 with the prologue). there's an epilogue called the watcher who i'm pretty sure is eve (and probably sets up book 2)

ok. i'll split this into parts so it makes more sense

lyra: most people here seem to love lyra, but i honestly don't think she's anything special (so far). she seems to be a mix of avery, grayson, and jameson. her inner monologue resembles avery, her coping mechanism (running) is similar to grayson's, and the fact that she showed up at school in pajamas and went to a class she wasn't even enrolled in gives off jameson vibes (the jameson vibes are not as strong as grayson and avery but they're still there). i do find her backstory interesting, and i'd like to learn more about it. i also find her acing a test for a class she didn't attend weird. it was only 10 questions but why? her attachment to numbers isn't weird, but for her to be able to detect a pattern in an test is kind of excessive in my opinion. i get that jlb probably wrote her this way so that she's able to play the game, but, idk, i honestly don't know how to feel about it (all ik is that im a bit iffy about it. avery acing a test made sense. she attended the class and studied really hard for it, but for lyra to just randomly ace an exam for a class she doesn't even attend just seems a bit random). i did like the scene where she throws a ball at her catcaller's face.

she's not a bad character, per se, and we literally know next to nothing about her character so its not that i don't like her, its just that, so far, she seems to be like every single other jlb main character (avery, cassie, etc). this literally goes for the other characters (gigi and rohan). don't get me wrong, avery is my favorite character and if lyra is anything like her, i think i'll like her. i just wish lyra wasn't a copy paste of avery.

oh, and, idk why, but thought her having a little brother was kind of cute (especially if he's really young, i'd like to read about their dynamic). her being a dancer is also nice.

i do hope lyra and avery become good friends. i think they have a lot in common (the hawthornes ruined (or tried to ruin) their lives (tobias giving avery the fortune knowing she might die, using her, skye trying to get her killed, etc), they seem to think similarly, etc) and could really hit it off. avery also needs friends who aren't trying to get her killed (*cough* rebecca and thea *cough*)

its really late, and i have more thoughts on lyra but i can't seem to put them into words so ill make another post someday.

rohan:

rohan seems very similar to grayson and jameson. in tbh, he seemed to be more like jameson, but, reading from his pov, his inner monologue is clearly more similar to grayson's (at least from what i remember, i read the chapters a while ago). im glad that he's not an exact copy paste of another character and at least a little different. after what we got from tbh, i expected him to be a jameson 2.0.

i'm glad we now know his motives and why he's participating in the game. also, i think its crazy he's been in the devils mercy since he was 5. he probably hasn't been training since he was five, but i still find this interesting. im excited to read more about his childhood. where exactly are his parents?

i don't have many thoughts on him. im still kinda disappointed he's similar to jameson and grayson, but i was sort of expecting it so it wasn't like what i felt with lyra. anyways, i think i'll like his character. i'm especially excited to read more about his childhood.

gigi:

ik she's similar to xander, but i've liked her ever since i read tbh. im still disappointed (like with lyra and rohan) about her being like xander, but i've come to terms with it. she seems really sweet and kind-hearted (a bit like sloane from the naturals whom i love). she's definitely not my favorite (that title goes to avery), but i do really enjoy her. some people find her character annoying, but i don't think so. i'm really want to read more about her (just like the other characters).

i don't think all of her chapters will be similar to the one we got bc i remember a scene in tbh where grayson said smth like 'maybe she isn't happy all the time' after seeing her a little sad (or maybe she's the one that mentioned not being happy all the time. idk i just remember a scene that mentioned that gigi isn't always happy). i doubt that all of her chapters will be like the one we got bc of this, but i might be wrong. if they are all like that, i dont think itll get too annoying bc we have rohan and lyra chapters in between hers. anways, ik i'll like her in tgg (bc i liked her in tbh even though sometimes she made me cringe)

final thoughts:

i think i'll like tgg (i liked all of the jlb books ive read so far). i'm a bit disappointed that the characters are so similar to some that we already have but i think i'll get over it. i do think that it is safe to say that, bc of this, tgg won't take tig's spot as one of my all time fav contemporary books (i separate contemporary from fantasy and stuff bc it doesn't make sense to me how im supposed to rank books that are completely different) and none of the pov characters will replace avery as my fav (this is confirmed, i see so much of myself in avery and i read her books when i was at my lowest. no one will replace her). i am quite tired so this may not make sense or might be repetitive. i have some other thoughts, but im too tired to write them down.

[suzuran777]

Review: Ooe trial version (Adelta)

A few days ago Adelta released the long-awaited trial version of their new game Ooe, so I really wanted to write a (short) review about it! The full game was originally scheduled to be released this summer, but it looks like we will have to be patient for a bit longer as the new release date will be somewhere in fall later this year. I have been following updates about this game for about three years now, so I don’t mind waiting a little longer! You can read a bit more information about the plot and the characters in one of my earlier blog posts here. To summarize, the game takes place in the 30th year of Showa (1955) and focuses on protagonist Oosaki, a detective who travels to the remote island of Ooejima after receiving a request from a client to visit the island and attend a ceremony on his behalf.

The trial version covers the first part of the game, up until the first “incident”. Oosaki has no friends or family, and lives in a boarding house in Suga, a short walk from Hiratsuka station near Kamakura. His boss Shinkiba, who runs the detective agency, informs him about a request he received from a client. The client, a man who calls himself Shizuma Daiba, asks Oosaki to attend the memorial service of actress Ooe An on his behalf. Originally, it was Daiba’s father who received the invitation, however he fell ill shortly afterwards. At first Daiba wanted to go in his place, but his father warned him to send someone else instead. Oosaki assumes that the person who invited everyone to the island is a relative of the actress, who passed away three years ago. Even though Oosaki never met her, he remembers reading news about her death.

After a few more meetings, Oosaki makes preparations to travel to Ooejima. The island belongs to the Izu Island group and is located near Hachijojima. Originally, it was used as a military base during the Second World War, however after this it became uninhabited. Even though he has never been there, Oosaki knows about the island because his grandma who raised him was originally from this island. He always felt like he had to visit the island someday, as if it was calling for him. On his way to the island he meets Ariake, who’s also travelling to Ooejima for the memorial service. He's surprised to find out Ariake’s grandmother is also from the island, and similar to Oosaki, it’s his first time actually going there too.

After arriving, they head to the Mikazuki inn, where they meet a trembling man trying to defend himself with a knife, who later introduces himself as Funeno. He also meets Shimbashi, a writer who uses overly polite speech who’s staying at the same inn. The next day, he meets the other group of people who are staying at a different inn (Takeshiba, Shijoumae, Hinode, Aomi and Shiodome). When the ceremony is about to start, they realize that the person who invited them to the island isn’t there. A monk called Toyosu was sent on their behalf. After the ceremony they have dinner together, but when Funeno is asked to join them, he seems to be expriencing some kind of flashback, and starts shouting at them. Embarrassed by his own reaction, he immediately leaves the room.

Shortly afterwards Shimbashi, who always skips his meals, walks in and asks why Oosaki and Ariake are trying to prank him by playing creepy music at the inn. Confused, they follow him. Soon enough they find a record player in a small hidden room near the stairs. At first they think Funeno did this, but then they find his dead body in Oosaki’s room. They meet up with the others and Shijoumae suspects it was a suicide because sleeping pills were found near his body, but Oosaki isn’t convinced. Aomi points out that the telephone has also been destroyed with an axe. Shiodome insists that they at least finish the ritual for Ooe An, which requires burning a straw figure to send off the spirit of the deceased. Even though nobody really feels like doing this anymore after Funeno’s death, they try to collect the materials required.

While the others make their preparations, Oosaki thinks about who the culprit could be. He suspects Shimbashi, Toyosu, Shiodome and Ariake, as they came with him to Mikazuki inn. As they finish the ritual by burning the straw figure, they realize that someone swapped it with Funeno’s body. Afterwards, Shiodome reveals that all this time he actually had Funeno’s invitation letter. One thing Oosaki didn’t know is that all the letters were swapped, and that the invitation letters also included a list of crimes the other person had committed. In Funeno’s case, he killed his younger sister. They decide to return each other’s letters, however because Oosaki doesn’t have one, nobody seems to have Shimbashi's letter. Shiodome tries changing the topic, but Oosaki is determined to find out who killed Funeno, and that’s when the trial version ends.

Thoughts & Impressions After waiting for this game for a long time I was so happy to finally see all the characters interact with each other! The trial version was pretty long too, it took me over 6 hours to finish and I think I read pretty fast, so it might be even longer. I have so many theories about what could possibly happen next but it’s hard to put it all into words! The music, art and story are all amazing so far. It's interesting to see how some of the characters already know each other too, although most of them only met at Ooe An's funeral years ago.

One thing I was thinking about is that Funeno was extremely nervous whenever he was talking to Oosaki (who introduced himself as Daiba) and also knew that they had each other’s invitations, so I think he got the invitation of Daiba’s father. Oosaki mentions he never saw any invitation, so I think it was never shown to him, probably on purpose... I am curious about Ooe An too, the game mentions that she committed suicide by burning herself. However, when Oosaki asks Shimbashi what kind of person she was, he doesn’t really answer and laughs when Oosaki assumes she was an innocent girl. Takeshiba mentions that some theorize that she never actually died, but Shijoumae (a surgeon) and Ariake (who works at a funeral home) both saw her body, so they find that hard to believe.

So far I think my favorite character is Ariake because he's very cute (some of the other characters also agree lol), but honestly everyone seemed interesting. I wonder if Hinode will ever talk because his voice actor is still hidden. I'm also interested in Daiba and why him and Oosaki look identical, they do both have family members from Ooejima, so could they actually be related? In a lot of the promotional material Daiba was introduced as a side character, however it looks like the game does have an additional route (the website says 9 routes + α) so maybe we will get a Daiba route too. For now I will try to be patient until the full game's released in fall! I'm hoping they will show us some other details like the opening movie soon.

[raspberrybluejeans]

for no real reason i was just pondering about which is my favorite PC each mcelroy has played in The Adventure Zone.

I can say immediately with pretty much no contest that Taako is my favorite Justin PC. I think you all know how mentally ill I was about Taako. I love Duck and the Firbolg and all the others but i am insane about Taako.

Also pretty much immediately I can say my favorite of Clint’s is Argo. I think Clint mentioned at some point that he put more work into Argo than any other character (this may have been before Ethersea so idk if it’s still true) but I think it shows so much. He was so interesting and I love him and I loved learning about his background and motivations and stuff.

I was a little more torn about Travis because I do love Magnus a lot, but in the end I decided I like Devo the most. I just wish we had gotten to delve into more details about his background and upbringing and stuff and I hope someday when they make the Ethersea sequel we can learn more about him because he is a very interesting character.

I was the most torn about Griffin because I love almost all of his PCs so much. The two other contenders I was really torn about was Errol and Montrose. I was so devastated he didn’t play Errol again in Dust II because I fucking love Errol. Montrose is also such a good character he’s such a freak. But in the end I decided on Fitzroy. My sweet cheese my rotten soldier. I love that stupid bitch

Thank you for coming to my ted talk

[aseriesofsmallthings]

Hello!

Welcome to my writeblr! I'm very new to this whole thing, and while I have *had* tumblr for a while now, I've never actually used it, so please bear with me :)

About my writing

I started out writing fanfic and short stories over a decade ago (ouch, now I feel old) and am hoping someday to become a published novelist. I mostly write horror, fantasy, and dystopian fiction, (with romance often playing quite a big role), though I am incapable of resisting dabbling in other genres too from time to time. A lot of my writing tends to deal with themes of loss, mental illness, suffering, and the inevitability of the human condition. In a bid to see myself and others like me represented more widely in the media, my longer fiction works often include neurodiverse, disabled and lgbt+ characters.

About me!

First things first, my name is Shannon, though online I mostly go by Shay. Feel to free use either :)

Now, a few fun little facts to break up those hefty chunks of writing (make the most of it, this might be the last time in a while).

I'm from, and currently live in, the UK. And I use she/they pronouns.

I'm a (twenty-something year old) child living an adult's life. And I am not having fun. Please, send help.

My reading tastes tend to be quite similar to my writing, in that I'll read just about anything I deem interesting in most genres but my preferences lie in dystopia and fantasy.

I have AuDHD and a whole host of other funky little brain things that keep writing (and life) all that much more fun! On a serious note, this may mean I'll disappear from time to time and posts may not always be consistent. (It also means interactions may be somewhat difficult for me, so again, please bear with me :)

I'm an amateur field hockey player with no other interest in sport besides playing it.

I have studied creative writing at uni briefly but I'm currently in the midst of switching to a social sciences and anthropology degree - expect a little academia related content maybe.

I'm a fur-parent - pictures may follow (they definitely will) of my little demon child.

I love to travel (especially solo) and often take a lot of inspiration for my writing from my little adventures, from setting and plot ideas to character development and world-building. Also, train journeys have proven quite fruitful in producing some pretty solid sentences... that have yet to be of further use.

A few pictures (below) from my most recent solo trip.

I also occasionally play video games, listen to an unhealthy amount of rock music, obsess over fictional characters (other than my own), and partake in multiple other creative pastimes, most of which get abandoned rather unceremoniously (thank you, ADHD).

About my writeblr

My username 'a series of small things' comes from one of my favourite Van Gogh quotes; "great things are not done all at once, but by a series of small things brought together", which I think is really apt, not only as a writer but also just in everyday life too. Also, inspite being rather artistically inept myself, I have a fondness for ol' Vinny, which makes the quote even more perfect.

I hope to use this space as a way to start getting my original work out into the world and to hopefully make some like-minded friends along the way too! I'll mostly be posting some of my short stories and progress reports on my longer wips, but may also post some poetry and other random ramblings from time to time.

Feel free to ask me any questions and interact with me :)

[elacular-kink]

Poly-Techhic 4: Dinner date

Popping back to the present (3.5 B, oops all hiccups, will happen someday, but apparently not today), we will now see Kiran and Susanna go on their first date, for good and for ill.

Character Sheet

TW: Anxiety, Dysphoria (MtF), hunger, Internalized fatphobia, Body Issues, Embarrassment, Snobbish asshole, Emotional breakdown

Kinks: Hiccups, Embarrassment, Hunger, Stomach noises, hurt/comfort?

I was so nervous.

I was so unbelievably, unbearably, incredibly, unimaginably nervous.

Was my dress alright? It didn't look stupid, did it? Did I look feminine enough in it? Had I shaved well enough? Was I growing any stubble? Were my shoes okay? I knew we'd need to walk, so I'd chosen flats, but would they still be painful? Was the restaurant I'd chosen an acceptable distance away? Would it be a good restaurant? Would the food be good? How much should I eat? I wouldn't want to look like a pig in front of her, absolutely not, but I was hungry since I hadn't been able to stomach eating lunch today and—

Breathe. I tried to force myself to breathe.

My stomach growled. That didn't help.

I repeated Olivia's words in my head. "You don't have to be afraid of her. Susanna will tell you if she doesn't like something." And she hadn't told me she didn't like me. She'd communicated that on more than one occasion to people she actually didn't like, so I knew she was capable of it and willing to do it. So if she didn't like the restaurant, she'd say so and then we'd

We would...

Before I could think of an answer to that, I heard her voice. "Hey, Kiran." When I looked, Susanna was approaching me, wearing one of her usual cool black hoodies and a set of loose-fitting khakis. Did this mean I was overdressed? How formal was a strapless pink dress and a white loose-knit cardigan? Especially when that dress was supposed to be a midi but looked more like a mini because I was too tall and too fat and clothes were impossible to find and—"Fuck, you look really cute in that."

"A-ah!" I looked down and saw a soft smile underneath her hood. When she looked up at me I also saw that she had put on some eyeliner (crap, I was barely wearing any makeup, did I look okay?). "Th-thank you!" My stupid hands wouldn't stop flapping. "Y-you look, um—"

Susanna chuckled. "Don't worry. I know I'm not exactly Prince Charming over here. I'm actually dressed a little better than I look right now, but it's fuckin' cold out." Her eyes went down me and I followed them. When I looked down lower, I saw that she was actually wearing dark brown dress shoes. "Speaking of which, I'm amazed you're not freezing your ass off. Let's get a move on." She tilted her head in the direction of the restaurant and I squeaked and nodded. God, how was I supposed to handle a date with someone so cool?

We were walking. I'd walked this path to the restaurant a few times before to prepare, but it still felt like it'd fallen out of my brain. It felt even more like that when Susanna reached over and grabbed my hand. "I have a little trouble keeping pace with other people when we're walking together. Mind if I hang on?" I shook my head, nodded, then decided to communicate that I meant yes by intertwining my fingers with hers as best I could. She smiled at me again. "Cool. Sorry I couldn't get a ride, but Maya'd wanna come in with us, and I love her, but I'm trying to have a date with you here. And there's no way I'm making you sit in Olivia's deathtrap of a car." I'd seen said deathtrap and I agreed that I would prefer to never even touch it, much less enter it, though I certainly wouldn't be saying as much out loud.

"I-it's perfectly fine!" I shook my head. "I really should take more walks anyway. I could really stand to lose some weight."

Susanna frowned at me, her lips pursed. "Nah. Walking's good and all, but not because you need to lose weight. Your body's fine just the way it is."

I couldn't bear to look at her. "You don't need to say that."

"Yeah, I don't need to. But I'm gonna anyway. 'Cause I feel like it."

A little laugh worked its way out of me, and I was able to stop flapping my free hand long enough to brush my hair back. "Well...I suppose that I can't stop you in that case."

"Damn right you can't." For the remainder of the walk, Susanna filled the air between us with talk about her class on sound mixing. The combination of computers and music was something we could both have educated input on, and that helped me pay attention and stay engaged. Eventually, though, we arrived at the restaurant, whose name was something French that neither of us could quite pronounce. Susanna glanced through the windows at the white-sheeted tables within. "Uh...not to be a mooch or anything, but you're paying, right?"

"N-naturally, naturally." That had always been the plan, and I could imagine very few scenarios where I'd want any date to pay for our various activities rather than myself doing so. I may not have had much to offer, but as long as money still mattered, that was something I could treat people with.

"Cool. Then after you." Susanna pulled the door open and gestured for me to enter, and I couldn't help but giggle.

Once I had shaken my laughter away, I took a deep breath and walked up to the maître d'. This was where I had to be the social one, and I'd seen it done enough times to copy the behavior myself. "Mandal, party of two."

The man in the tuxedo looked past me at Susanna as she entered. "We don't wear hoods in this establishment, sir."

"M-ma'am!" I corrected him, blushing.

"It's cool, Kiran," Susanna pulled her hood down and I saw that, rather than laying flat or being mussed like it usually was, her hair looked like it had been styled with gel or spray, a perfect gently punkish messy spikiness to it. As she unzipped her hoodie, I saw that she was wearing a white button-up shirt underneath, the arms having been cuffed up past her elbows in an imitation of short sleeves, and the bottom tucked into her khakis and strapped down with a leather belt. Oh god, she looked so dapper. How was I supposed to cope? "I don't mind what people call me, and I figu—uh..." She'd started tying her hoodie around her waist when the maître d' took it from her and hung it up on a coat rack instead alongside mostly suit jackets. "Uh...yeah. Okay. That works."

The tuxedoed man sniffed and turned. "This way, ma'am and ma'am." He showed us to a small table and placed a set of black leather-bound menus in front of us. "I'll need to see ID if you intend to drink."

"Nah, I'm good. I'll just take water."

"Hmph." He took a note.

My stomach growled. I hoped to god it wasn't audible. The idea of ordering soda in a place like this made my stomach hurt even more. "I-I'll take water as well, please!" The maître d' made a noise I didn't know how to interpret and walked away.

Susanna sighed and flopped against the back of her chair. "Damn. You get taken to intimidating-ass places like this a lot?"

"A-ah...occasionally, yes. L-less often than other members of my family go to them." I kept a death grip on my menu so my hands couldn't flap.

"Man. I dunno how I'd handle it. I feel like the air in here hasn't been circulated since the 70s." She opened her own menu, then squinted down at it. "Uh...okay, do you know what the fu—uuuhhh...the heck any of these are?" Hearing her nearly swear, I choked back a laugh.

When I actually looked at my own menu, I saw that they had, in fact, only included the names and prices of various appetizers, entrees, and desserts. Luckily, I knew what they were, and I forced her to ignore the numbers as we considered the less intimidating spread of appetizers. Once I convinced her money was no object, she ordered canapés and I ordered a salad (hoping I'd grown into enough of an adult to actually eat it).

I particularly hoped I'd be able to eat my salad when my stomach growled very audibly. A small twinge of pain went through it, and I couldn't help but cringe for multiple reasons. "You good, Kiran?" Susanna asked. I nodded, but I couldn't bear to look her in the face. "Right. 'Scuse me, sir." My heart fell into my empty stomach as I saw her call over a waiter. I had no idea how to read the man's face as she requested our appetizers. Our water hadn't even arrived yet. "Right," she turned back to me once she was done. "Hopefully that'll—shit. You okay?" I wasn't sure. Was that polite enough? Had she offended someone? Why did she do that? "Hey. Take a breath, Kiran." Susanna audibly inhaled, then exhaled the same way. When she'd done that a few times, I was able to join her. "Yeah. There you go. Is that, uh..." She glanced back towards the waiter she'd summoned. "Is that a thing I shouldn't do?"

"I...I'm not sure."

"'Kay. I won't do it again. Sorry about that." She put a hand on mine and I saw that she'd painted her nails dark blue. It looked really cute. I wondered if I should try painting my nails.

After a bit too long, I managed to initiate a conversation about that. She told me she'd gone to a friend from one of her music courses for help with it. I was surprised to learn that she actually did used to paint her nails fairly often, but now that she roomed with Olivia, the smells of the polish and remover were too offensive for her to ever use them in their dorm, so she'd given up on it outside of special occasions. I managed to suggest that she could teach me and do her own nails at the same time in my building from time to time, and the smile she gave me absolutely filled my stomach with butterflies.

It was unfortunate that it was only butterflies and not anything else filling it because it kept growling. I felt ridiculous, and it felt like everyone in the restaurant must be staring at me. Why didn't I force myself to eat something? I knew my body got noisy when I was hungry. At least I could take some comfort in knowing that it could be worse.

I then immediately lost all of that comfort when a particularly loud growl was followed by an even louder "*HEEK!*"

Susanna's eyes were on me. I could feel them. I couldn't bear to look at her, but I could feel them. "Whoa. You okay, Kiran?" I didn't dare open my mouth to answer. Please be a "single", please please please please please be a "single".

Of course I wasn't that lucky. My body rocked with a barely muffled "*EEP*" that felt ear-splitting even as I slapped both hands down over my mouth. Fuck, how could my body be doing this to me? God dammit, why couldn't it ever do anything right? "*MMP!*" Even with my mouth completely covered, it was still so loud.

"Oh shit." Her voice was soft, and I heard her get up from her chair. Before I knew what was happening, I felt her presence beside me, her hand hovering over my back for a moment before carefully landing on it and beginning to rub it. "Hey. It's okay. You're okay, Kiran. Do you wanna try drinking some water?" God, did I? Would it help? I had no idea. "You don't have to." I couldn't just sit here and keep making these noises. I at least had to try. So I nodded. "Okay. I can hold your glass up for you, so you don't have to keep your mouth uncovered for too long." 

How could she be so considerate? I opened my eyes back up and saw her lift my glass with one hand. I removed one of my own and helped with it, waited until my next "*MNK!*" hiccup had passed, then put my lips to the water as quickly as I could and drank. I drained my glass as fast as possible, half holding my breath and desperately hoping that my body would shut up and let me continue having this date. But no. As soon as I put the glass down and opened my mouth to breathe, another deafening "*HIUK!*" forced itself out of me. I covered my face, hearing my voice whining with horror. Worse still, even though I managed to muffle my next "*HMK!*" I felt my stomach jolt and heard all of the water sloshing inside of it. God, what was wrong with me? How could my body be so obstructive and gross?"

"Shit. It's okay, Kiran. It's okay." I had no idea how it could possibly be okay, but the gentleness of Susanna's voice and the feeling of her hand rubbing up and down my back made it seem the tiniest bit more believable. "It, uh..." her voice paused in an odd way. "This is happening because you're hungry, right?" I nodded. "You think eating would help?" I nodded again. "Okay. Hopefully your salad'll get here soon. Think about what kind of main thing you'll wanna order, we should tell the waiter about that the next time he comes around."

How could she be so calm? I looked up and saw that her face was actually flushed bright red. When she saw I was looking at her, she quickly turned away. Fuck, she wasn't calm. She was embarrassed too. Of course she was. How couldn't she be?

"Ma'am, you're distracting other diners. Please sit back down in your chair." I heard the maître d''s voice behind us.

"Shi—uh, sure. Yeah, sorry about that." I felt her move away from me and missed her hand on my back, though she gently pulled one of my hands away from my mouth so that she could hold it from across the table.

"I'm sure that your fellow patrons would appreciate it if you would keep quiet as well, ma'am." I couldn't even bear to open my eyes.

"Hey. She can't help it." There was a slight growl to Susanna's voice, and her fingers gripped the top of my hand more firmly.

"Of course." Even I could hear the contempt in his voice as he walked away.

"...asshole. Don't worry about him, Kiran. Fuck that guy." Susanna kept her voice low as she swore, and I couldn't help but laugh. That almost made a louder hiccup come out of me, and even through my hand, I couldn't silence them. Not completely. And I could still hear my stomach sloshing. God, the chair might have even been creaking every time I moved.

Excruciating minutes passed with Susanna gently rubbing my hand, speaking softly to me about random, unthreatening topics, like video games that she was enjoying, or the less raunchy escapades Maya had dragged her and Olivia into. I appreciated it so much, but it didn't do anything for the fact that I just kept hiccupping every few seconds. Not to mention my stomach was growling...everything about me was so big and loud and obnoxious. I hated it so much. Why couldn't I be small enough to just disappear like she was?

"Madams?"

"Uh, hey, cool," I heard the voice of the waiter that Susanna had accosted earlier. "Do you know how long the salad's gonna take? Oh, also, I wanna order for her. Which one of these will take the least time to—"

"I-I'm sorry, madams, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave." My eyes shot open and I looked at our waiter. Unlike the maître d', he looked apologetic enough that even I could see it.

"'Scuse me?" Susanna's voice hardened again, and her hand firmly gripped onto mine.

"Erm, other customers have been complaini—"

"What other customers? This place is mostly empty. If someone's really been complaining, can't you just move us further towards—"

"Other customers have been complaining, and I'm afraid that unless you're able to be less disruptive, we'll have to request that you leave." The waiter's voice sounded nearly pained as he said that.

"Look, if you could bring out her salad or some other food, that should help and she'll—" I couldn't help it. I sobbed. Then I hiccupped. I could feel the eyes of the waiter and Susanna on me, and I felt so humiliated that I couldn't even think. I had no idea whether to cover my mouth or my eyes, and the hand that had been under Susanna's was uselessly flapping instead of doing either of those things. "...fine. Okay, come on, Kiran." I forced my eyes open and saw Susanna, slightly blurry, take a wallet out of her pocket. She glanced at the menu, cringed, then pulled out a few bills and placed them on the table. "Change is a tip for you." 

Susanna grabbed my flapping hand and started dragging me away, pausing for a second to glare at the maître d'. I could hear him sniff as we left. "Don't forget your...jacket."

"...thanks." Susanna paused long enough to grab her hoodie, then dragged me the rest of the way out. "Okay, fuck that place. There's a Wawa just a block away, we'll get you something there, then I'll see if there's any better restaurants nearby where I can get you some real food."

"I'm–*HIUK!*" I choked out more sobs and I could feel tears rolling down my face. Pathetic. "I'm sorr–*EEK!*"

"Don't be." We reached the convenience store. I wasn't sure I'd ever been inside of one. "Okay, think about what kind of sandwich you might want. I'll grab you something quicker." I forced my eyes open and looked around. There were a few people here, and they glanced at me when I hiccuped, but then looked back away. The middle-aged woman behind the counter looked particularly unbothered by me...unbothered by anything, really. And unemotive about anything. Possibly chemically so. "You don't eat meat, right?" I nodded at Susanna. "Got it. Kinda, uh, limits our options, but..." She went to the counter and, before I could stop her, paid for an apple fritter, a fruit cup, and some sort of...bag of pickle slices? How did she know that I'd been craving pickles lately?

However she knew it, when she gave them to me, I immediately started eating, hoping to god that it would make my body stop making sounds. I was still crying, but at least I was doing so mostly silently. When she confirmed that I would be able to eat it, Susanna bought me a large sandwich with cheese, tomatoes, and lettuce. I felt absurd for making her have to order and pay for me, but the fluorescent lights were making my head ache. "Hey. There's a park-type thing a couple blocks from here. It'd be pretty quiet, so you can take a minute and rest. That sound good?" I nodded, and she smiled up at me. "Cool. Come with me."

Susanna didn't hold my hand this time, just because both of mine were full with the sandwich and snacks she had bought me. I was still crying and hiccupping, and it made me feel so ridiculous. My attempts to eat weren't helping. And my feet ached. It was such a relief when we reached the park and she showed me to a bench. There was nobody there, and the street lamps were warm and unthreatening. "Okay. You don't have to try and hold back or hide, Kiran. We're alone here. You won't bother anyone."

Feeling her sit next to me and hearing her say that made me sob again, which didn't help my stupid hiccups. "I'm sorr–*HEEK!*"

"You shouldn't be. You didn't do anything wrong." I did, but I wasn't able to explain that to her right now. Whether or not I did, though, Susanna was rubbing my back again, not seeming bothered at all by the way I would jolt into her over and over. "Hey, I'm gonna call my mom for a minute, okay? Don't worry about being quiet or anything, this won't take long." I nodded. I doubted I even could be quiet, no matter how much I might have wanted to. I heard the sound of Susanna's phone and glanced at her. She'd ended up tying her hoodie around her waist, so she'd unrolled her shirtsleeves, which were now just barely avoiding covering her hands. Her face looked a little flushed, but the lack of light made it hard to be sure. "Yeah. Hey Mom. I need to borrow the Yelp account." She paused and rolled her eyes. "Yes yes, how are you, I'm great thanks, look, can we keep it short right now? I'm on a date...yeah, she's great, Mom." Susanna scowled and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Fine, I'll call you on Saturday, you can hold me to that. But I need the Yelp account now...because I'm gonna go nuclear Karen on someone's ass and you're the one who actually reviews things...No, I'm not overreacting, they made my date cry!" The genuine anger in her voice was a little scary, and I must have audibly gasped, because she turned towards me and stopped rubbing my back for a moment to gently pat my shoulder. "Yeah. Yeah, that's what I thought...God—...bless it, Mom, you really need to change that password...Well, I ask every time because I'm very polite and respectful." I couldn't help it. I laughed. I laughed and I hiccuped, and Susanna smiled at me. And my heart fluttered. "Okay. No, I don't need your help, I learned from the best...I know, I know, I won't use any profanity. I'll be good...yeah yeah, love you too. Bye." She hung up and exhaled. "Mom says hi. And...I only just now realized that I should ask you about this, so...are you okay with me being a bitch to that French place on Yelp?"

I looked down. "You...*HMK* You shouldn't be. They di–*IC* they didn't do anythi–*INK*–i-ing wrong."

"Bullshit. You're the one who didn't do anything wrong."

"But I did! *HIUK!*" Yelling was a terrible idea, but that didn't stop me from doing it, and my stupid eyes were tearing up again. "I didn't ea–*EEK* eat lunch today becau–*UCK* because I was nervous, but I kn–*HEEP* know that being hungr–*EEK* hungry makes my stomach gr–*UCK* growl and gives me th–*IC* the hic–*CUPS!* I ruined our d–*HUP* our date!"

"Bullshit!" It caught me off guard just how quickly she repeated herself, and she grabbed both of my hands. "You didn't ruin anything, Kiran. Your body did normal human things and that dickhead in the tux was a piece of shit about it. He sucks, that place sucks, fuck both of them. I didn't see any of the other patrons complaining, so I'm pretty sure it was just that prick. And even if it wasn't, fuck anyone who tried to give you shit about it." Susanna closed her eyes and took a slow breath. "You're allowed to take up space, Kiran. You're allowed to be a person and experience the shit that humans experience. You shouldn't have to be perfect. I mean, you'd think they were being assholes if they kicked Olivia out for the same reason, right?"

I blinked. "W...well yes, b–*UK* but...she can't he–*ULK* help it."

"And you can't either. Not right now at least. I don't care if you could have somehow avoided it earlier; the past is the past, now is now. And right now you can't help it." Her face was definitely strangely flushed right now, and she was avoiding eye contact too. "It's not your fault. You've just...you've just got the h-hiccups. That's all."

"Yeah. *HMK*. I'm sorry."

"Don't be." After a moment of hesitant hovering, Susanna got up and hugged me. Her arms wrapped around my neck and she leaned over, so her front was pressed against mine. My stomach jolted with a hiccup and it shook her whole body, and I heard her let out an odd little giggle at that. Somehow, that made me giggle too. "Don't be sorry. You don't huh--have to be." When another hiccup bounced her, it interrupted her voice. "And I don't mind. I'm frie—uh, friends with Oliv---via. Of course I do--on't."

That...made sense. I wrapped my arms around her too, and even though it was embarrassing to feel how my body shook and wobbled against hers, it felt good to have her small form pulled to me and feel how soft she really was. "Thank you. *HMK*"

"Of course."

I didn't really let go. And she didn't really either. So for a few minutes, we were just holding each other while I hiccupped, and....it was okay. It was okay. I apologized when I was loud next to her ear, and she told me it was fine. Eventually, she started wriggling and pulled back. I honestly could have stayed like that all night, but it wouldn't do either of us any good to be greedy. I went back to eating and she leaned against me, somehow managing to type on her phone while I kept shaking her. After a few minutes, she turned to me and showed me the review she'd typed out, which was the politest, most venomous thing I'd ever read in my life ("My mom's white. She taught me their secrets."). With a few small edits, I let her leave her one-star review, and she snickered to herself as she sent it before logging out.

As I was finishing up my sandwich, something occurred to me. "Susanna, *mnk* you didn't actually buy anyth–*IC* anything for yourself, did you?"

"Uh," she chuckled. "Nah. Guess I kind of forgot that."

"Mm. Did you find a re–*uck* restaurant nearby that lo–*HOOP*–nnnhf...excuse me, *mmk* looks good?"

Her lips pursed. "I mean, good to me or good to you? Because there's a diner-type place that I'm kinda curious about but—"

"Then let's go th---there. *mmk*"

She looked up at me. "You sure?"

"Well, my sug---gestion didn't exactly pan ou–*HUP* o-out, so...let's try your inst–*ic* instincts this time. You will be le–*HUP* letting me pay this time, though."

Susanna chuckled and scratched the back of her head. "S'long as you're sure, I guess. I want you to be comfortable."

"I want y–*HUP* you to be comfortable to–*HOOP*–oooohhh..." I rubbed my chest, a bit surprised they were still holding on. I still felt hungry, though. Which was...humiliating, given how many snacks I had just been given, but I did my best not to let it bother me. I decided to be gently self-deprecating instead of aggressively so for a change. "Besides, *hmk*, Olivia's not here to ge–*ulp* get them for you, so we would–*nnkt*–n't want you getting too hu–*UP*–ungry and catching the hi–*IC*–cups like me."

Instead of the soft laughter I expected, I was watching her close enough to see Susanna's face flush bright red. A second later, she laughed far louder than she usually did and scratched the back of her neck. "Y-yeah. Wouldn't want that, hahaha..."

That was...that was odd.

When we got to the diner the woman behind the counter glared at us and threw the menus aggressively on our table, then gave us both free hot chocolate because "it's cold out there, you goddamn kids." There were significantly more people in this restaurant, and I did get brief glances while I still had the hiccups, but only a few. Since we'd been seated at a booth more appropriate for four people, Susanna sat next to me, and I noticed that she leaned against me and took every opportunity to rub my back. Under the less aggressive fluorescent lights, I could see just how much more flushed her face was than normal, and see how it drained back to its usual color when the Portobello burger I ordered finally filled me up and chased my hiccups away. The whole time we talked about our classes, the music we listened to and played ("I used to play piano when I was young! Do you think you could teach me more?" "Maybe. I'm actually better at pipe organ, of all fucking things."), our families, our friends on the rugby teams, the friendships we were developing outside of them, and it was just...

It was just comfortable.

I just felt like myself.

I was a bit overfull by the time we left, and Susanna had poached what was left of my meal into a doggy bag that she would be keeping. As we were walking, I kept an eye on her, waiting for the inevitable as I felt that tiny tension in my chest that I always got after I ate a little too much, until eventually I—"*HEEK!*" hiccuped loudly again. Even though I'd been awaiting and anticipating it, I still felt myself blush bright red and automatically covered my mouth.

Under the street lights, I saw Susanna blush bright red too as she whipped around to stare at me. "Uh—" There was something tense about her voice, and she looked away faster than she normally would. "Y-you good?"

"Y-yes, excuse me." My little stutter matched hers. "I, um, had another one of those 'singles'."

She chuckled. She was bad at laughing on purpose. Even I could tell it wasn't quite right. And since she didn't have her hood on, when I leaned forward, even though she was facing away, I could see the tiny smile on her flushed face. "Don't worry about it, Kiran. I don't mind."

That seemed like it might not actually be true...or that it was, if anything, an understatement.

When we were in front of my house, it wasn't long after my "single", and Susanna was still a little unmoored. Even so, she smiled up at me. "Hey. I had fun tonight."

I could feel myself smiling and realized that my hands were flapping. I didn't have the energy to try and hold them back though. "I-I did too! Sincerely! The..." my hands stilled and I felt the shame of earlier crawl into the back of my throat. "The first restaurant was...bad. But everything else..." I laughed. "Everything else was really lovely. Even with the hiccups."

Red. Her face went red again. She fake-laughed again. She scratched the back of her neck again. "Glad to hear it. So, if we both had a good time..." she looked up. I dodged her eyes, but I already knew she didn't take offense to that. "Wanna try it again another week?"

My hands were flapping again. "Yes! Yes please!"

"Hehey, that works great!" Her smile was so wide. She then hesitated, lifted a hand, lowered it, then lifted it again and placed it on my cheek. I instinctively leaned into her touch. "Hey, Kiran. Think you could bend over a bit for me?"

My heart was pounding in my chest as I lowered myself. "Y...yes. Like this?"

"Yeah. Exactly like that." I felt the heat of her breath against my lips and my eyes shut without me before we touched. Hers were so chapped but so soft. I had no idea what I was doing. But she taught me. She taught me and I learned as best as I could. And we stayed together much longer than a second or two. When we finally pulled back, I was breathing heavily. So was she. Clouds of steam were forming between our lips. "...night, Kiran."

"Goodnight, Susanna."

Our faces were close enough that I felt her smile before I saw it. And then she walked away, only seeming to realize once I was behind her that she could put her hoodie back on.

I made my way back into the empty house, walking past the bedrooms where other students weren't and up the stairs to my own. And once I was curled up in my warm bed, I took out my phone and looked at my messages from what I was mostly sure was Maya.

Queen of Illusion: YOU BETTER TELL ME HOW THIS SHIT WENT WHEN YOU GET BACK PLEASE TELL ME YOU FUCKIN KISSED HER AND THEN KISS ME (IF YOU WANNA)

Kiran (Kiki): Hello Maya(?) Our date went wonderfully.

Queen of Illusion: Youre damn right it did! (And yup its me)

Kiran (Kiki): Before I get into that, though, may I ask you something that might seem a little ...strange?

Queen of Illusion: Bitch I might seem a little strange go 4 it

Kiran (Kiki): Alright.

Before I could bring myself to actually ask, I scrolled back a large number of messages until I found three spoilered ones. I finally clicked the spoilers of the last message.

3: Its something Liv does all the fuckin time

Alright. That made me significantly more confident in what I was about to type.

Kiran (Kiki): With regard to the missing context that you and Olivia have concerning Susanna Would that context possibly be that she has some sort of ...affinity? For hiccups?

Queen of Illusion: ...babe.

Kiran (Kiki): Did I say something wrong?

Queen of Illusion: Babe no You said everything fuckin right. And we are gonna have so much fuckin fun with this OPERATION "SEDUCE THAT BUTCH" IS A FUCKIN GO!

The mixture of excitement and terror in my stomach made me feel like I'd made the best decision of my life and a horrible mistake all at once.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Keep requesting from different people with no luck but what if jason voorhees had a S/O who reads to him when he's "sleeping" in the lake and he has dreams about the story and has a dream of him and the reader as beauty and the beast?

Reading B&B to Jason + Dream stuff!

while this isnt a slasher blog and i am grossly underqualified to speak of anything book related to beauty and the beast, i truly do love this idea + i really felt the whole request thing </3 this aint perfect but i hope you enjoy it regardless! may your other/future requests be answered someday! !!!quick note, admins only exposure to beauty and the beast is the original disney film, they have never read any renditions of it so theyre going off the basic bare bones concept not proof read, i am literally belting this out before i gotta bake an order </3

I could be silly, i could make him dream of himself as the beauty as opposed to being the beast, but im not 100% sure how i would go about writing that.... perhaps ill save that for the next time my slasher brainrot strikes me

i think he would love that you read for him, small little act that helps heal that inner child inside him + it reminds him of how his mom used to read to him at night. its almost bittersweet... im torn on whether or not pam would've read him beauty and the beast/similar adjacent tales. I admit, I'm not sure how many renditions of the story there are, and which ones were around when Jason was a kid but lets say, for convivence lets say she didnt

whenever you read to him hes hooked on every word you say, head in your lap and looking up at you with this sort of sparkle in his eye. loves it when you put on goofy voices for different characters. generally a very calm and peaceful moment between the two of you

so imagine offering to read the story to him, and he is just. totally immersed. even before he falls asleep he sees the parallels between the book and you, bonus if you somehow find a way to show him the disney movie of it

as for the dreams, naturally he's in the beasts position. solitary and secluded away from others, and self admittedly from the man himself, a sight for sore eyes (no matter how much some may disagree), and you as the beauty (not that much changes in the dream, he already sees you as something radiant)

the first time he has the dream he doesnt really say anything about it, actually he doesnt remember most of the dream thanks to him nearly forgetting everything that second he wakes up

but the dream keeps happening, even long after you first read the story to him, and each night he seems to be able to piece everything together

you wander into his home, and he keeps you. protects you, actually. the events of your arrival in the dream are blurred, but seem to line up with how you first entered his life.

theres no talking furniture, unfortunately

however i do wanna say theres talking animals in their place

nature boy

actually, jason doesnt seem to be a prince in his dreams, just a simple man

hes not even a physical monster in his dreams.

but unlike the disney adaptation, when the whole... breaking the curse thing happens, there is no transformation. so hey, theres that at least

he eventually talks to you about it, sheepishly signing the details to you as he tries to not seem embarrassed about it. but he cant help but to get giddy when he sees your smile

"aww you dream about me?" is a comment sure to make his signing pause for a second before he covers his hands over his mask

i wish i had more for this but im on a bit of a time crunch atm and as stated in the authors note my only exposure is the disney film and SOBS

you (making sure hes okay with the nickname first, obviously) playfully call him beast, and he starts calling you beauty

the story eventually kind of becomes you guys' thing, like how some couples have their song or their movie or their whatever

[illicit-lilies]

I think this is it. If you see this and you know me I hope you know what this is. I'm sorry, I really really am, I tried so hard to be Lily but it just...just wasn't working. I fucked up too badly, its too late, I never should have tried this in the first place. I just wanted friends who saw me for the woman I desperately wanted to be but that was too much for me, every attempt to reach out has only hurt me more. I can't take it anymore. I've waited almost three decades for life to get bearable, not even good or enjoyable, just tolerable, and I think I'm giving up on that now.

I just wanted friends. I just wanted to see the ocean, and feel pretty for once, and start a garden and maybe even be a mother someday. God i...I wanted to be a mom so so badly. just wanted life to be easy, and fun, and comfortable. It never ead any of those things. I wasn't strong enough, not smart enough, not fast or brave or attractive or charismatic or cruel enough to earn my place in this world. Now I just want it all to be over with. There's so many of you I wanted to try to befriend but I was too much of an anxious failure to even try talking to you. I'm sorry, ill get out of the way now. I'm so sorry. This wasn't my world to try to live in. Everything g is just...too hard. I'm to scared to do any of it, let alone find pleasure and joy in it.

Don't feel bad. I was barely a person in the first place, certainly never felt like one anyway. Lilith Kai G. was born on August 8, 2023, and died shortly after this was posted. She wasnt a person, never was, never wanted to be, not in this world. She almost, almost had the body, the precorpse she wanted, almost. She was never prouder of herself than when she took that step, and she wanted to take many many more. Its ok though, if it took two and a half decades to start being herself, its not like she had a real, actual, fulfilling human life for her on the other side of Anxiety. She never made it to the water, but she knows that all the rest of you will. She knows it, you WILL. Please, you have to. None of you deserve the horror of packing away all your girl clothes and real belongings and tossing it in the dumpster. No one deserves that. It would have been scary if I had a personality left in my empty little skull. Please, you have to make it out of thisnlife alive. You have to. You have to make it.

You have to.

Lily wanted to love you so badly. Be nice to the pigeons and the weeds and the little bugs you find in your house please. Enjoy cloudwatching. Be nice to videogame characters and children's stuffed toys. Pay attention to the people who have trouble talking. Don't justify the existence of unfair social hierarchies by participating in them. Just...try to enjoy life. Help others enjoy their life.

[differenteagletragedy]

RIP MC (Sorry Derek)

Another little story where the MC died and one (or more) of the boys feels sad. Could this turn into a series where MC dies in various ways and the other characters feel feelings about it? Yeah, maybe!

Takes place anytime after Step 3. Unrequited love, unnamed illness, funeral setting. Very sad Derek.

It was never the right time.

That's what Derek always told himself. Someday when things were different -- when he was different, when he was better -- then he'd take a chance. That's when he'd let himself admit how he felt about you. He'd tell you he loved you then.

Countless moments had popped up over the years since that first summer that might have worked. A quiet moment on the beach by your house, a summer soiree while the two of you were dressed to the nines. A school dance he'd invited you to, "just as friends" even though he wanted so much more.

He had so many opportunities to just tell you how he felt, to take a risk on the chance you might feel the same way, but he was never good enough for you, not even close.

It was only when it became clear that he'd run out of time that he really started to sit down and think about all those lost chances.

"I'll be ok," you always told him when he came to visit you in the hospital, a smile on your face for him despite the tubes in your body, the constant hums and beeps of the machines a constant soundtrack to his trips there. You'd always hold his hand, and sometimes it made him sick to think about how he let you comfort him, even then, when he should have been stronger.

Derek did think about confessing, even after things got bad. He tried to work out whether you'd want to know, if it would bring you some comfort or just add awkwardness or confusion in an already difficult time. Sometimes he let himself picture telling you, then you telling him that you loved him too, and then you'd get better and you'd be together, so on and so forth, happily ever after.

But that's not how it happened.

Things were already bad, but they got worse fast, and before he could make a decision about telling you, you were gone.

"Derek? You all right?"

He was brought back to the present -- something he sincerely did not appreciate, but was of course too polite to ever mention -- by Nicolas' hand on his shoulder. He turned to see his little brother, looking like some bizarre alternate universe version of himself in a dark suit with his hair tamed as best it could be.

It didn't feel right. Then again, nothing did.

"Yeah," Derek answered automatically, eyes glancing around the funeral home. He saw his parents talking to Cove's father, all serious faces and quiet voices. There was Liz by the casket, eyes dry but fierce -- the protective older sister, even now. Your moms were nearby too, huddled close together. Cove was there as well, he'd heard, but based on the muffled sound of wails coming from an adjacent room, it seemed like he'd excused himself.

"Hey, bros," Jorge said, coming up to place a hand on Derek's other shoulder. "How's it going?"

He tried to give a smile to his other little brother, but he couldn't imagine he succeeded.

"Did you want ..." Jorge began, stopping himself before he got a full sentence out. He gave his head a little shake, then stood a little straighter and asked "Did you want to go up there?"

Derek looked back toward the casket. He hadn't been able to approach it, not yet, and he wasn't sure if he would. It may be nice to see your face one more time, even if what made you you was no longer there. Then again, it may be too hard to take.

Reasoning that the entire day was too hard to take -- hell, existence felt too hard to take at this point -- and that if worse came to worst, he'd at least have Cove to keep him company if he lost it entirely, he gave another shaky smile to Jorge and began moving towards the coffin.

He wasn't sure what he expected to feel upon seeing you like that, but whatever he could have imagined, it was so much more than that. You were too pale, too still, and if he touched you, he was sure you'd be way, way too cold.

His eyes moved over your body, taking in individual parts and cataloging them in the most heartbreaking ways possible. Your eyelids, closed shut, never to flutter open again. Your hands folded over your stomach -- stiff, he was sure. Then he looked at your lips and started to understand, really understand, that he'd never see them smiling for him again.

Because they did -- you did. Smile just for him. Even at his absolute lowest, when he hated himself so much he couldn't stand it, he knew that. That you liked him. Maybe not in the same way he liked you, but he couldn't deny that you, his favorite person on the planet, had seen a least a little something special in him.

His stomach clenched, his hands balled into fists, and he did one of the things that he did best, literally and metaphorically -- he ran.

Not hearing the questions or remarks as his family called out to him, not noticing concerned looks from your other friends, Derek bolted out of the funeral home. He was wearing a suit and stiff dress shoes, but he flew down the street. If his feet started aching or his muscles started protesting his pace, he didn't notice.

He wasn't thinking, not really, and eventually he found himself in the park, running to the field you'd played in when you were kids. He kept running to the tree line and went past it, letting himself get a little bit lost before he came to a stop, leaned his head back and screamed.

Derek held things in -- it was just what he did. But there in the trees, he let everything out. The shattering grief, the loss of everything he might have had with you but never would. All the things he never said, all the opportunities he let slip by because it could happen later, there would always be more time.

Eventually he stopped. His throat was shredded and he started feeling the strain on his body. He waited a little while, certain someone had called the police, but none ever showed. He considered going back, assuring his family he was all right, but for once, he decided to be selfish and sat down on the ground, taking a little longer for himself.

He had no idea what life was going to look like now. He felt sad and scared, like the rug had been pulled out from under him, and then he felt guilty for feeling that way when everyone else had lost you too.

Those old feelings of self hatred started sneaking in, and he leaned into them, content to soak in the misery he was feeling.

After all, the future he'd dreamed of, the one he'd worked so hard for for so much of his life -- the one with you front and center -- was impossible. So really, what was the point of any of it?