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ssajj · 4 years ago

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Don't Panic

After half a year of dating Spencer, you're surprised to learn that you might be pregnant.

Cisgender female!reader

2.1k - warnings: vomiting, light concussion

You aren't one for baby fever. Really, you aren't. Kids were always more of an abstract idea, a someday rather than something you wanted now. You certainly haven't had the conversation with Spencer, even if seeing him with kids always ignites something warm and foreign in your belly. He's so soft with them, breaking out a smile you never see if a kid isn't present. Henry is obsessed with him, doing grabby hands anytime the two of you go over to JJ and Will's. Spencer complies every time, picking him up and spending most of the night playing with him.

"He's going to be a wonderful dad," JJ said to you once, a little wine drunk. You had just nodded.

None of that prepares you for the positive pregnancy test in front of you.

You'd taken it on a whim. The past couple weeks, you've just felt off. Spencer’s been hovering around you, nervous hands always a second away. He'd only gotten more worried after you’d thrown up at a crime scene. It wasn't particularly graphic and you have a strong stomach. Throwing up at a crime scene wasn't something you did.

"Oh god," you whisper to yourself, staring at the test in front of you. Some nonsensical part of your brain wonders if you're hallucinating, if an unsub broke into your house specifically to drug and trick you. "Calm down, girl."

One pregnancy test wasn't definitive proof. False positives were a thing, but you'd been so confident that you weren't pregnant that you only bought one. You hadn’t bothered to tell your boyfriend about this, either. God. You two were always so safe. Unprotected sex was not something you took part in.

You've been going out with Spencer for less than a year. It wasn't important that you've never been happier, wasn't important that everyone else on the BAU told you over and over again how much happier he is with you. Those things don't change the fact that it's been less than a year.

And yet.

As you place your hand on your stomach, there's a flutter of excitement. While you're a firm believer in women making the choices regarding their own bodies, you already know that if you're really pregnant, you're keeping it.

You just hope you won't have to do it alone.

…

Luck isn't on your side. You run out and grab another pregnancy test, but before you can take it, your phone starts ringing.

"No no no no," you groan, picking up the phone. "Do we have a case?"

Penelope is far too chipper on the other end of the phone. "Yep! You guys are going to debrief on the plane, so your cute butt better hurry. Hotch wants everyone seated in twenty minutes."

You close your eyes. "Okay." Before she can say anything else, you hang up.

The go bag is already in your car, so you can drive straight from the drugstore to work. Your phone buzzes again, but it's just a text from Spencer.

Saved you a seat. -SR

Like anyone would ever snatch your seat.

…

It's hard to focus on the case. It's hard to focus on anything that isn't the possible fucking baby in your stomach. You're a pretty good liar, though, so you manage to muscle your way through debriefing without most of the team noticing that you're off. You do get a concerned squint from Spencer, although that can just be a result of him thinking you're sick.

Four mutilated women. You can feel the tension radiating off of her, so you grab her hand and squeeze it. She gives you a grateful smile. As the youngest female members of the BAU, it feels like you two always look like the victims you avenge. JJ's got the added bonus of being a mother, which means kid cases hit her hard, too. But if you're pregnant, you're about to join her in that club, too. The thought makes your breath catch.

"You okay?" JJ asks. You feel Spencer's eyes focus on you.

You nod, plastering a smile on. "Yeah. Just thinking about the case. Are you?"

JJ sighs, looking over at where Morgan and Hotch are quietly discussing the most recent crime scene. "Yeah," she says. "Just, y'know. The case. And Henry's got a cold. I feel bad for leaving him and Will right now."

That's enough for Spencer's attention to shift to JJ, thankfully. You relax into your seat, scrolling through your tablet to review the information Penelope sent over. You miss most of their chatter until they pull you back into the conversation.

"Do you want to come with me, Y/N?" Spencer's asking, smiling hopefully at you.

"Oh, I wasn't listening," you admit.

Spencer's smile somehow only softens more. He knows you have a tendency to zone out, get lost in your head. When you two are alone, he likes playing with your hair to bring your mind back to him. "I'm going over to JJ and Will's house once the case is over to babysit Henry."

Your mind short circuits a little. Saying no is only going to make Spencer suspicious, since you love hanging out with Henry. But saying yes means that you won't be alone after the case and you'd have to watch Spencer be annoyingly perfect with Henry. "Sure," you say, clenching your hands together.

…

There's already another victim by the time you land, prompting Hotch to send you and Emily to check it out. Your stomach is rolling, the unused pregnancy test haunting you from its place on the jet.

"There was remorse for the other victims. They were wrapped up. Why is this woman different?" You ask, crouching next to the body. The smell hits you like a wave, but all you can do is deal with it.

Emily comes to stand beside you. "Good point. Maybe the others were surrogates for her?"

You sigh. "If that's the case-"

"-our unsub would be done killing. Or would completely switch his MO."

Standing up, you brush some of the dirt off your knees. "But let's consider some other possibilities. Maybe she fought back too much for him to feel remorseful. Or maybe she wasn't the right fit, so he just dumped her."

"I'll call Hotch."

You nod. As Emily walks off, you swallow the vomit in the back of your throat.

"Come on!" She calls a minute later, waving at you. "We're all meeting back at the station."

…

The case ends with you getting a concussion. You'd been the one to find the unsub and while you took him down, he managed to get one good hit in.

"Spence, I'm fine!" You laugh, pressed up tight against his chest. He's got his head buried in your shoulder, arms wrapped around you. He always worries too much when you're hurt. "The EMT already checked me out."

"He hurt you," he mumbles. He pulls back just enough to press a gentle kiss to the top of your head. "Stay with me tonight?"

"What about Henry?"

Spencer shakes his head. "I just want to take care of you."

Your heart aches.

On the jet, you're curled up on the couch with your head in Spencer's lap. You're really tense, and you know he's noticed. He doesn't ask you about it, though. Once you've landed, he just wordlessly follows you home.

"Are you in more pain than you told the paramedic?" He asks, leading you over to your bed.

"Just ready to get some sleep," you tell him, kissing the wrinkle forming between his eyebrows.

…

Once he’s asleep, you sneak into the bathroom and take the other pregnancy test. Your head is pounding and once again, you're nauseous, but you're desperate. Spencer isn't a heavy sleeper, so you have to be quiet and fast.

Peeing has never felt so high pressure.

It's not that you're scared by the news, but when another positive symbol pops up, you vomit again. You groan, knowing the noise is going to wake him up. Before he can come in, you grab the test and shove it in your shorts.

"Y/N?" He calls softly as he knocks on the door. "Are you okay?"

"Peachy!" You reply, laying across the toilet. "Never better. I'm thriving."

He pauses, your answer probably throwing him for a loop. It's only for a second though. He comes into the room, eyes scanning the situation. You know he hates germs. This is going to be nightmare fuel for him. Still, you aren't really expecting him to freak out.

"We have to go to the hospital."

You squint at him. "Huh?"

He sputters. "You have a concussion! It must be worse than that paramedic thought."

Oh. Right. "Spence-"

Spencer comes closer to you, lightly wrapping his arms around your midsection, aka where the pregnancy test is resting. You flinch.

"Y/N, what's wrong?" He asks, shifting so that he's looking you in the eye. His face is contorted in concern, making a wave of guilt crash through you. "What hurts?"

You shake your head before resting it on his shoulder. He hoists you up.

"What hurts?" He repeats.

Taking a deep breath, you pull back. You feel wobbly, like one breath can knock you back to the ground. "I don't think it's from the concussion."

"I know you've been sick, but I'm not willing to risk-"

"Spencer."

He stops. "What?"

Wordlessly, you unveil the test and hand it to him, then shut the toilet seat so you can sit on top of it.

You watch him as he processes. His eyes flicker from you to the test to back to you millions of times. "It's the second one I've taken."

His voice is barely above a whisper. "You're pregnant?"

You nod. "I'm pregnant."

Before you can blink, he grabs you and pulls you into a hug. He kisses your forehead. The smile on his face is wide enough to crack his lips.

"You're happy?"

"Yeah," he says. "And if…" he trails off. You know he's trying to be careful with his word choice. "It's up to you, what you want to do. But if you want to keep it-"

"I do."

He relaxes against you, pressing kisses all over your face. You laugh, gently shoving at him as you laugh.

"We should still go to the doctor," he says after a minute.

…

Once you start showing, you tell the rest of the team.

"Stop crushing her!" Spencer cries, pulling Penelope off of you. She's then replaced by JJ, who isn't trying to crush your ribcage.

"Congrats!" JJ says. "Oh, this is so exciting. I'll give you all my old pregnancy books. Although I'm sure Spence memorized them. He does know how to deliver a baby."

You look over at your boyfriend, a question on the tip of your tongue. Spencer's grinning, though. It's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen, so you forget to ask.

…

"Do you ever worry?" Emily asks.

It's girls night. You and Emily are sprawled on her couch, JJ’s drunk on the floor, and Penelope wandered off to find Sergio.

You tilt your head to the side. "About what?"

She gestures to your stomach, which you've been rubbing without even noticing. "You and Reid haven't been together that long."

Her words leave an unpleasant taste in your mouth. "Well," you start. "I can't say that we'll be together forever. But I do know that no matter what, he's going to be a fantastic father." That seems to be enough to quiet her, although your nerves are still spiked. "Do you not think we're going to last?"

"I'm not saying that," she protests. "Just hard to imagine him in a long-term relationship."

"Get used to it," you snap.

…

Spencer can tell the next afternoon that you're upset. "Love, just tell me what happened."

"Are you only staying with me because I'm pregnant?"

"What? No!" He comes closer to you, grabbing your hand. "I'm with you because we make each other happy."

You hum. Stupid pregnancy hormones are making your eyes water.

"Y/N."

"I'm fine," you lie.

His hand goes from your hand to your waist. "Tell me what I need to do to prove how much I love you. I'm not...I'm not good at this part. But anything you need, you have it. You have me."

He holds you as you cry.

…

"I love you a lot. You know that, right?" Spencer's wrapped around you, legs tangled together. You're half asleep on his chest, but you still kiss his neck as an answer.

"Love you too," you mumble. "We're going to be a family."

His hand goes to your stomach. "A family. Our family."

You love the sound of that.

#spencer x reader #reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #Spencer Reid fic #criminal minds fic #you x Spencer reid #spencer reid reader insert #dorothywrites #spencer reid

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whatifyoulivelikethat · 4 years ago

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selfie | jjk | 2

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

summary: Is this a rom-com, slice-of-life drama with unsolicited social commentary about gender stereotypes, idol music, and the meaningless meaning of the word, “adult”? Yes. But also, Jeon Jungkook shouldn’t be in love with his hyung’s little sister and he is. Shit.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; mentions of depression, anxiety, loneliness; fluff, but also frustrating because flirt already, sheesh; loons-to-lovers; non-idol!AU - oppa’s bestfriend!Jungkook x SHINee fangirl!reader

happy lunar new year!! year of the ox - jk’s lucky year <3

–

previous episode.

2. in which the two loons getting somewhere, only for more misunderstandings to happen.

Is this too much?

You stared at the picture and the message. Jeon Jungkook once again. Sending a picture of himself at the gym. It was a while since the last one, so his hair was slightly longer now. Was he growing it out? Oh well, none of your business. You sent your usual reply.

You sighed and went back to your journal, only to have your phone aggressively sing ‘3 PM’ from the Animal Crossing New Leaf OST. Directly asking for a video call this time. You thinned your mouth into a line and closed your journal, sliding it out of frame before accepting the call.

Jungkook’s big brown eye filled up the screen, directly on the camera.

“Why don’t you respond like a normal person?”

“Why don’t you start conversations off like a normal person?” you shot back, placing a hand on your cheek and leaning against it. There was stationery scattered all around you, but your journal was behind the charging stand.

Jungkook withdrew his eyeball, frowning. You could see his entire face now, his long black hair tied up into a silly sprout on top of his head. He was still wearing the dark gray sweatshirt from the photo, but he seemed to be in his apartment. All you could see was the wall.

“What about the pic though? Is it too much?”

“Too much what?” you responded irritably.

He waved his hand, shaking the phone with his movement. “You know… Too, ‘Hey I work out and am attractive, pay attention to me’ much?”

You raised an eyebrow. “You’re not even looking at the camera. Or wearing a sleeveless shirt.”

He blinked at you. “Should I?”

You rolled your eyes. “No, those are things not to do. Picture is fine,” you added, shifting some pens away so you could rest your head on your forearms.

“Oh.”

He looked uneasy for a second before the camera jostled around as he scurried to a different part of the room. You puffed your cheeks and closed your eyes, not wanting to get motion sick.

“I’ve been playing Persona 5!” Jungkook said cheerfully, making you open your eyes to see him directing the camera at his television where the Persona music was merrily playing. “Just finished Sakura Futaba’s Palace.” He switched the camera back as you smiled and gave him a thumbs up.

“Nice.”

Jungkook seemed to spy your deflated form on your desk.

“What’s wrong?”

You breathed out. “Nothing.”

He frowned. “Doesn’t seem like nothing.”

You shrugged. “Just thinking.” Your eyes flickered to him, smirking a little. “You wouldn’t know about that, I suspect.”

Jungkook rolled his eyes. Other than that, he didn’t react to your remark.

“Thinking about what?” he asked, leaning back into his gray couch. His long hair flared out, sprout blooming against the cushions.

Your eyes shifted to the pens all over your desk. To your tablet, where you had been practicing digital drawing for a little while now. Just little drawings of cute animals, no people yet. To your journal, where you had been writing your diary entry.

“Lonely.”

You said the word without thinking. It was the title of your diary entry. You hadn’t meant to say it, but it was the only thing on your mind right now. Your eyes flickered back to Jungkook, who was watching you carefully. You sighed, feeling the need to explain yourself.

“All my friends are busy with school and their jobs. Oppa is always at work or with his girlfriend. Parents are always working.”

You could feel the distance between you and your high school friends. They were chasing your dreams and you were chasing nothing at all. You weren’t distant from your brother, but you were respectful of how much time he wanted to spend with his girlfriend. She might become his future wife someday, after all. Would you have a future husband one day? You wondered what he would be like.

You shook your head and shrugged. “But I did it to myself by taking a gap year, so it can’t be helped.”

“It’s okay to feel lonely.”

Slowly, your gaze shifted back to Jungkook. He was getting up from the couch, holding the phone up as he walked to what looked like the kitchen.

“I mean, you can’t help what you feel, right?” he said as he set the phone in a cupboard and went to the fridge. “Feeling lonely isn’t some kind of crime, so you don’t need to lock it away or anything.”

Jungkook picked up a take-out container and opened it, stiffing the contents. He seemed to be debating if it was edible or not. How long had that been there? You wanted to ask but then again, you didn’t want to know. Jungkook shrugged and dumped the mysterious contents into a bowl.

“I’ll talk to you whenever you want.”

You scoffed. “Why would you do that?”

Jungkook placed the bowl in the microwave and set the timer. The machine hummed as he turned around.

“To prevent you from feeling lonely.”

A butterfly danced in your chest.

You chuckled. “Why would I want to feel annoyed instead of lonely?”

Jungkook shrugged, taking out some chopsticks. “At least you have someone to be annoyed at instead of being alone?”

Two butterflies danced in your chest.

You huffed and rested your cheek on your forearms.

��Have you been talking to your Confidants?”

“What?”

“In Persona 5.”

“Who?”

You slapped your forehead. “Listen up, you monkey…”

“I’m an ox in the zodiac.”

“I mean your monkey gameplay…”

You began to explain the importance of Confidants in Persona to Jungkook.

That’s how you ended up in video calls with Jeon Jungkook several times a week.

He would usually start the call by sending a selfie, to which you would respond with your usual question mark. He was going to university for graphic design and worked at an electronics store part time. You, on the hand, were doing nothing. Well, not nothing, because you were clumsily learning digital art, but unless you were showering, you were always by your phone. Checking idol social media, especially SHINee. Sometimes your brother and his girlfriend asked you to accompany them to dinner, but you always declined, because being the third wheel was weird.

Also, watching your brother in love was weird.

Bleh.

“They always make out in front of me,” you were telling Jungkook as he asked why you weren’t at dinner earlier with your brother and his friends. Your brother had taken his girlfriend, of course. “It’s weird.”

Jungkook winced. “Yeah, I get what you mean. But I was there.”

“So what?”

Jungkook raised his hands. He was in his bed, rolling around in gray sheets. “Maybe you care?”

“I’d like to be spared watching oppa’s PDA, thanks.”

As usual, you were at your desk. This time your tablet was in front of you. You pushed the pen around, indecisively drawing lines and undoing your last action, twisting your mouth to one side, not really looking at Jungkook. He wasn’t doing anything of note, anyway.

“You don’t like PDA?”

You shrugged. “It’s whatever. I don’t really care.”

“What are you drawing?”

“Nothing good,” you sighed, putting down the tablet pen. The little cat character looked back at you, its expression the same bored and dispassionate face you usually had. You hadn’t really decided on a color for it yet. Maybe gray. That’s how you usually felt, anyway. You knew the collar color was going to be aqua though. A nod to your SHINee obsession.

“Show me.”

“No.”

“Come on.”

You looked up to Jungkook’s smile. There was a radiance about it. You felt the two butterflies dancing in your ribcage once again, fluttering, fluttering. His two front teeth where just ever so slightly too large for his mouth. It was endearing, like seeing a bunny. You looked back down at the little cat you created. Maybe you would make a bunny for Jungkook.

Pfft.

Why would you do that?

You laughed, confusing Jungkook as you placed your hand over your mouth, eyes squinting as you chortled to yourself, trying to imagine Jungkook as a silly little bunny. Probably one that worked out too much and drank banana milk every day. Probably loved to take selfies too. A cool bunny who wrote sunglasses sometimes and was probably altruistic and interesting.

Not like you.

Your laughter died down, eyes on the cat. You picked a cat to represent you because it was lazy and didn’t do much. Spent all day sleeping and staring outside, but never actually trying. Curious about things, but never committing.

“What’s so funny?” Jungkook asked, lifting the camera and holding it above him. You saw his long black hair flare out around his head. He was casually handsome, the kind of attractive that didn’t need much to be that way.

That’s weird. Why would you think something like that?

“Your face,” you replied, missing the usual bite you usually had behind your words. “You need a trim.”

He raised his eyebrow, pursing his lips. “You don’t like long hair?”

You pointed at the phone even though he probably couldn’t tell what you were pointing at. “The ends of your hair are splitting. It’s not going to grow well at this rate.”

“Are you a secret barber or something?”

“I’m a human being who cuts her own hair,” you replied impassively, sitting back in your chair.

Jungkook looked surprised. “Really? Since when?”

“Since the last time oppa attempted to cut my hair in high school.” You cringed at the memory.

Jungkook looked apologetic and ready to burst out laughing at the same time. “He tried his best.”

“He did not,” you retorted, remembering the botched bangs and blunt shoulder length cut. It was horrible. You went to the salon afterward and had it trimmed into a short pixie cut, because you would rather be bald than look like an overgrown coconut.

“The pixie cut was cool though.”

“Eh.” You shrugged. “Too hard to cut it by myself. Need some length to hide my mistakes.”

“Your hair always looks nice though. A little messy.”

You touched the top of your head self-consciously. Maybe you should start brushing it before accepting his calls. You didn’t really brush it that often because, well, who was going to see you? You basically only brushed it when you noticed a tangle.

Jungkook was smiling at you. His dark brown eyes seemed sparkly because of the overhead lights in his bedroom. The butterflies in your ribcage circled each other, looping round and round. You made a disgruntled face, reaching up read the current time at the top of your phone.

“Don’t you have class early tomorrow? Go to sleep.”

And then you pressed the end call button.

For some reason, relief and disappointment washed over you. Relief because there was a palpitating anxiousness you felt when you looked too directly into Jungkook’s eyes. Disappointment because maybe you shouldn’t have hung up so abruptly. That was a little rude.

You noticed you had a text. From Jeon Jungkook.

Good night.

Jungkook placed his phone beside him after he sent the text. He thought about sending a selfie too, but maybe that was too much. She had just seen him seconds before, anyway.

Why had she hung up like that?

He smiled as he remembered her laugh. He liked her laugh a lot. She hid it behind her hands and her eyes always squinted when she did so, nearly making them disappear. It looked a little bit like a cat when it was purring in satisfaction. Jungkook wondered what made her laugh like that. It must have been a thought, because he could see her face changing as she observed him. When she stopped laughing, her face was different too, becoming introspective.

She looked pretty today too.

Her hair a little messy, combed through with her fingers. That’s how it looked best, he thought. She had a natural prettiness, the kind that needed no help to be that way. Every action she did seemed cute, from the way she held her pen, to the way she twisted her mouth to one side when she was working on something, to the way she touched the top of her head, lips parting in thought.

If she wanted to be a model, she probably could.

At least, Jungkook wanted to take her picture.

He frowned a little. He’d been consistently sending her selfies before calling her and she always responded with a question mark. Maybe she wasn’t used to taking selfies? Or maybe, and what was more likely, she probably didn’t even care about them.

Jungkook exhaled, flopping to his side. Should he give up? But then he remembered her face right before she looked at the time. It was like she was staring at the screen, at his face. And for a split second, he swore he saw her upper lip upturn a bit, shyness in her gaze, a bit of pink flushing her cheeks. Was it just the lightning or something? His mind playing tricks on him?

“Bleh.”

Jungkook made a weird noise and plopped his face into his pillow.

Jungkook stopped calling you.

You wondered why. You had been kind of rude to him last time. Maybe he was mad at you? Maybe he wanted an apology? But you weren’t really sure what to apologize for. And it was weird to call without a purpose, right? And besides.

You didn’t really need to apologize to Jeon Jungkook.

He wasn’t even really your friend. He was your older brother’s friend.

You chewed on your lip, staring at the last picture he sent you. He wasn’t your friend. He was… well, what was he trying to do? Why was he talking to you? Maybe he was bored. Maybe he was nosy. You did say you followed his art Instagram, so maybe he was enthralled with the idea of knowing he had a fan or something?

But you weren’t a fan, per se.

Well, a little bit. He was really talented.

But not that much!

Because Jeon Jungkook was kind of annoying. He still hadn’t returned Persona 5 to your brother. Not that your older brother noticed, at all. He never finished Persona 5 and it was mostly your game now, with how many hours you had sunk into it. Jungkook hadn’t even known about Confidants until you told him. Hmph. Didn’t he look up game guides? Well, he should. Confidants were really important to the game. They helped you with useful abilities during boss fights by developing relationships with the other characters.

You stared at the last selfie Jungkook had sent you.

You kind of wished he was looking at the camera.

Maybe you needed a Confidant. You certainly didn’t really know how to develop relationships with anyone, except maybe your older brother. But that was because he was your brother and familial responsibility. Well. Not true. Your brother was really nice to you.

That’s why you folded his underwear for him, even to this day.

Sigh.

Jungkook did like SHINee though.

At least that was one thing in common, right?

next episode: 3. in which only a major event can bring these two loons back together – SHINee is back!

masterpost

#jeon jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook fanfic #jungkook scenarios #jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x you

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five-miles-over · 4 years ago

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Joaquin Phoenix Characters as University Students

As always, this is just a fun listicle, not designed to offend anyone. Please feel free to leave comments and/or constructive criticism below. Thank you, and without any further ado, please enjoy what some of your favorite characters would be like as students at uni!

The characters in this list are

• Theodore Twombly (”Her”), Arthur Fleck (”Joker”), Merrill Hess (”Signs”), Doug Holt (”Inventing the Abbotts”), Max California (”8 mm”), Ray Elwood (”Buffalo Soldiers”), Doc Sportello (”Inherent Vice”), Abbé de Coulmier (”Quills”), and Emperor Commodus (”Gladiator)

Theodore Twombly from Her

Major: Architecture or English

Honestly, he seems like a guy straight from a rom-com

Probably stuck in an unhappy relationship with a girl he’s not willing to leave because he loves her

Has such a great way with words, especially on paper

Loves the idea of creating things in his own life

It’s probably what drew him to architecture

Definitely the go-to person for writing Valentine’s day cards or breakup notes

And many guys usually come to him when they have girl problems because he just seems to understand women better.

He actually runs a secret podcast about different forms of love and what they all really mean

Arthur Fleck from Joker

Major: Elementary Education

Honestly super nice and pure

He may not have the best grades in class, but he is a pleasure to teach and professors love his attentiveness

He genuinely wants to do well in his courses, and likes to participate in class

Unashamed about doing seemingly “childish” things, like dancing in the rain or blowing bubblegum

According to his peers, it might make him a great teacher someday.

The one time he tried to go to a party, he was disgusted after one cup of beer and ended up being the designated driver

Frequently bro-zoned by girls

It’s mainly because he’s the one taking care of drunk girls in his building who can’t open their own dorm rooms.

He gets them some water, cleans up their vomit, and makes sure to drape a blanket over them so guys will stop leering at them.

Merrill Hess from Signs

Major: Physical Therapy, along with a minor in Sports Management

You’ll almost always find him wearing something athletic, whether it’s a baseball jersey or a baseball cap

This one time, he showed up to class wearing stirrups. But in his defense, he had morning drills

That being said, he is not a morning person but ends up taking 8 AM classes anyway because his games and practice take up the afternoons and evenings.

He’s on first-name basis with the barista giving him coffee every morning

If he lives close by, he usually visits his family every weekend to spend time with his nephew and niece.

Doug Holt from Inventing the Abbotts

Major: Theater Design, along with a minor in Film Studies

Small town guy and never forgets where he’s from

Has a sweetheart back home, and is very faithful to her

Brings the best homemade treats every time he comes back to campus

the hall smells of meatloaf and apple pie when he returns to his dorm after winter holiday

Usually stays out of drama as much as possible

Not afraid of hard work

You’ll find him working late in the workshop or in the auditorium, painting and building sets or placing props across the stage

Max California from 8 mm

Major: Graphic Design

The biggest Party Animal

Starts every drinking game

Is there a new bar or pub in town? He’s the first one to try it

He’s wickedly talented with his tablet and stylus

Not exactly the cleanest mouth, but he’s still great conversation

Creates his own line of pornographic comics, which are actually really hot

He sells them and actually makes a pretty good profit

Ray Elwood from Buffalo Soldiers

Major: Business Management

His catch-phrase is “Whatever you want, I can get it for you.”

Free pdfs of textbooks? Torrent movies? Liquor for your underage party?He’s got it.

Need to fix your microwave or find a present for a special someone? He knows a hack or two.

Literally the embodiment of “rules are made to be broken”

Has a really nice car, and loves to drive it fast during the night

Some call him crazy because who brings one to a university campus but, haters will hate.

Somehow manages to get pretty good grades with the least amount of studying

On certain days, he is a complete class clown but other days, he’s quiet in class

Also, don’t tell anyone, but he’s secretly sleeping with the professor’s wife

Doc Sportello from Inherent Vice

Major: Botany or Environmental Studies

Typical stoner

When he enters a room, you’ll smell him before you see him

The scent of hash is pretty strong on his clothes

But when he’s not high, he’s surprisingly the most health-conscious person

His entire stash of food is organic and all-natural

Yes, even the junk food is organic

Claims to love meditating in his room

Most likely an environmental activist on the weekends

You can find him protesting deforestation or poaching

Probably in an “open relationship” with at least three different girls

Just super chill in general; you won’t find him worrying about exams

Abbe de Coulmier from Quills

Major: a Double Degree in Theology and Nursing

Also very nice, but he is vocal about his purity

Very helpful - he might let you borrow his notes if you ever missed class due to illness

Let alone share notes, he’d offer to tutor his classmates if they told him they had trouble

Does not ever get invited to parties

Never misses 8 A.M. mass on Sundays

Probably has a quote from the Bible in his bio

Loudly criticizes his colleagues for their ways - binge drinking, partying until late hours, making crude comments about girls

Somewhat of a hypocrite - he has an erotica hidden under his pillow that he’ll read under the covers. Heaven forbid his flatmates find it.

As a nursing student, he had a surprisingly easy time in the NICU

No one understands how or why babies feel so safe around him.

Commodus from Gladiator

Major: Dramatic Arts, with a minor in Classics

Ambitious, dedicated, and talented AF

he will spare no expense to immerse himself into a role that he likes

His flatmate has probably walked in on him performing a monologue in front of the mirror

Well, it might be a monologue…or a personal confession laced with Latin words

Also sings in the shower (don’t tell anyone I told you)

Total know-it-all when it comes to Ancient Roman literature

Don’t you dare mix up Caesars in front of him, he will know and loudly correct you (after serving a very judgmental look)

Already knows which Odyssey and Illiad characters he would like to play, as well as what his dream role(s) in theater would be

You will know when he’s preparing for an audition

Shunning dairy for an entire week beforehand

He’ll be rehearsing and rehearsing to the point where someone needs to remind him that he needs to sleep

Needs a shoulder to cry on more often

Especially after an emotional scene from whatever he’s working on

Comes from an affluent family, but prefers not to talk too much about his parents

Even though everyone knows about his lineage

Fun Anecdote: He dressed up as Hercules once for Halloween, but almost got in trouble with Campus Police because his costume was a bit too authentic. They weren’t sure if he’d actually brought a dead lion to campus.

#joaquin phoenix #joaquin phoenix characters #joaquin phoenix movies #her #theodore twombly #buffalo soldiers #ray elwood #abbe de coulmier #quills #arthur fleck #joker #merrill hess #signs 2002 #max california #doc sportello #inherent vice #inventing the abbotts

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toxicsquad · 4 years ago

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There is no better way to get to know someone than through a good question tag. In this case we have decided to make an Indie game dev question tag with the responses of our four developers. We hope that it will reveal many unknowns, but if you are left with any questions, do not hesitate to use our ask.

What part of game development are you responsible for?

Athe: I write and write, I melt in my seat, I correct, I cry and then I program. It’s an endless cycle. Occasionally I laugh like crazy while I eat Pringles.

Sam: I draw and color without leaving the lines (almost always) the sprites, the illustrations and the ravings that usually occur to us past 3 in the morning.

Illy: English translations.

Sher: I draw BGs

What tools do you use (hardware / software)?

Athe: Recently my desktop PC has passed away, so I’ve had to rescue my old PC from the garage. I also have a laptop that saves my life more times than I would like to admit. As for the software, I need, above all, drive documents, video editing programs, image etc (I have an Adobe package) and of course Renpy and Atom.

Sam: My main friend and companion is my tablet, a wacom intuos S (pistachio color, so cute). As programs I mainly use the Paint Tool Sai, because there is nothing in this life like its stabilizer. And less frequently than I would like (for details, texture brushes, effects ...) I also use Clip Studio Paint, which I only know how to use at about 2% of its capacity ... If someday I have time I would love to stop and learn seriously what can be done with it.

Illy: During the school year I live in a residence, so I use an old laptop, and when I return home I use a desktop computer that never has memory space. I translate the chapters in the same Atom where the complete script is and I keep them in google drive files where I share them with our beta reader. I also use editing programs like photoshop when I have to translate comics or procreate for when my artistic skills are required.

Sher: ipad+procreate+some final tweak in photoshop, I don't need much more

What is your favorite part of the job?

Athe: Would it be wrong if I say that is when we released the episode? During the whole production time everything is very stressful, there are times when it’s really uphill, but when we release a new chapter it feels soooo good. It's like saying to yourself, yeah, dammit, I can do it. Look at everything you've climbed by yourself. You're doing it right.

Sam: In general, my favorite parts are when the first scenes start to be programmed, and I can see the sprites with the backgrounds, the texts, and how the illustrations look. Everything always looks so much better when viewed in-game… I also really like being able to check out the script as it is written. And from the artistic part that concerns me, when I see that my hands capture the idea that I had in my head ... Especially in character designs.

Illy: Having to find a way to translate very spanish expressions into English, research vocabulary that I have never had to use and commenting on some translations with our beta reader (which we adore) to make it understandable without losing the original meaning.

Sher: I like to do the lineart when the sketch is complete, if I no longer have to think about anything else and it's just going through it, I find it very fun and relaxing

What is the most difficult part for you?

Athe: Offf, yes, I admit it, sometimes writing is the WORST. Other times I love it, especially when I can expand on the descriptions or stop at a part that is intimate or that I find interesting (for example, Hasiel's conversation from 6.3, small spoiler: P). But, I HATE having to paste scenes, often the protagonist moves between scenes and you always have to add lines to those transitions that really do not interest anyone, but that otherwise the text would be confusing. Anyway... It is a very wide world, with a lot of history, I have to deal with what I need readers to know to understand the facts, although sometimes it gets a bit boring.

Sam: What part does not... Rather who e.e Zihel and Ariel are a thorn in my side. Especially Zihel. I know it has to do with the fact that it has never been my strength to draw boys, and much less if they are more masculine in appearance... That's why I also suffer a lot from drawing muscles. Another thing that brings me a headache is the perspective of the illustrations. Every time I try to get out of the typical shot or poses a little... It doesn't work out.

Illy: Doughy’s stuttering ¬.¬

Sher: chairs, sofas, tables... anything with four legs is my enemy

Anything to help or encourage you while you are working?

Athe: I need music, no, seriously, I NEED IT. I’m unable to focus without it. If, on top of that, I can get what I hear to act as a sounding board for what I write, the text is a thousand times better... But the muse is a pretty bad person.

Sam: Having a show/movie in the background that entertains me. The longer the better, so I don't have to stop to think what I want to put on next.

Illy: Eating sunflower seeds to trick my brain and not be tempted to do something else that distracts me.

Sher: I try to see other artists to motivate and inspire me before I start drawing, what I find most difficult is that initial push and that is where I need the motivation, then I usually have something in the background but it is not necessary

Something that’s a pet peeve or discouraging?

Athe: Some narrative climax moments. Generally, they are not important plot moments (that is almost entirely decided), they are often small decisions to go from scene A to scene B, but I can spend a LOT of time deciding which is the fastest and best way to tie those two ends. I'm the worst.

Sam: Many times when starting, I can't get the poses to fit the way I want, for example.

Illy: Finding many parts in a row that I find especially difficult to solve and that make me believe that I have forgotten how to English properly. And looking at how many lines I still have left.

Sher: When I don't know how to fill in some area, if I see something very empty but I don't know how to solve it, I can spend days looking at the screen without being able to advance, even if I have other areas that I could do in the meantime

What is required on your table or work surface?

Athe: Notebooks, sticky notes, pens… I’m a person who writes everything down, especially the tasks, but I also order the story by color schemes. The stack of sticky notes have 9 different colors, each one represents a character and I play a lot with them for a lot of nonsense. Besides, even though I have been writing on the computer for many more years than I wrote by hand, I still have a preference for the analogical.

Sam: Coffee, sweets, chocolate, cereals... And cats.

Illy: My phone, the sunflower seeds, a Capital America: Civil War 1L water cup, sticky notes that remind me of tasks.

Sher: I have nothing really lol all my things are for decoration

Your most productive hours?

Athe: Owl. Totally nocturnal. Although I have several crises a month to force myself to work at other times that always end... Wrong.

Sam: Also at night for the most part, although I can no longer stay awake as long as I endured before having a job (the good old days...) However, in the middle of the afternoon, when the zoo that I have at home is still taking a nap, I also manage to go a long way.

Illy: From when I finish eating until 7 or 8 in the afternoon, when I don't have to cook, clean, run errands...

Sher: I take over for Illy apparently, from 7 or 8 is when I start to get into the mood until bedtime

Do working hours make you forget to eat or make you eat twice as much?

Athe: It depends, in the past I ate a lot, now if I have stress I don't eat anything. If I'm in a normal productive phase and I'm not on my nerves, I'm probably eating by inertia.

Sam: They make me eat more, but especially junk food e.e And they make me forget healthy meals, especially dinner at night.

Illy: It depends on my mood, but I usually eat twice as much.

Sher: I'm generally a VERY distracted person so I don't usually get to focus on a task to get to either of those two modes but I guess when I am sooooooo much on the task, I forget. But that happens like a couple of times a year and "forgetting" is "I delay an hour."

What part of your set up would you improve / change (in aesthetics or functionality) if you had no money limit?

Athe: I'm trying to match some of my peripherals with the rest. They are all a damn different color, apparently I'm cursed... Now seriously, I wish I had a better graphic card that would allow me to make video captures, some speakers and a quality printer.

Sam: Actually, I don't think I need anything more complex than what I already have… But if I had to improve something, I'm curious about the most professional tablets, the big ones with the included screen and all that stuff.

Illy: A new laptop that lets me open 4 chrome tabs, Atom and photoshop at the same time without dying.

Sher: A pc screen that will not change the colors I use on the iPad would be nice, really

Which character are you most like? And why?

Athe: Phew I think the easy answer would be to say Akane ... But, Akane is a better person. : P

Sam: This is very difficult... They are all very different, but still I do not think I look much like any of them. If I have to say something, I could identify with Maske's tendency to avoid problems, and his more homey and calm side. And well… Since Akane has been an OC of mine for many years, surely I have something of her too.

Illy: I think I partly have Maske's instinct to stay out of trouble, and on the other hand Joe's shallowness, although tbh I wish I really did look like any of our awesome babies.

Sher: surprised because (unpopular opinion around here) is one of those who I "least care" about really but I would say that Pin because he is a little dumb, happy and probably has a Satanic room and proud of it

Favorite CG/art.

Athe: AT THE MOMENT. Maske chapter 1. It couldn't be more predictable. I know.

Sam: I quite agree with Maske in chapter 1. But I would also put Pin in chapter 5 and Akane in chapter 6.2 on the top.

Illy: Kyeran in Coco's tank ?? Is he even real? Being basic is my brand.

Sher: surprised again and disappointed but I would say that of angel Hasiel because I like pretty dresses, pretty hairs and pretty wings

Favorite BG/scene.

Athe: The Red Light District amazes me. I already liked the life of that place, its history, but the way of expressing it... Uggg Sher took it to another level. The dirt on the street, the night, the constricted buildings...

Sam: I think I’ll say Raziel’s square, I like it a lot from the first day.

Illy: I don't know if I can choose just one T__T but I would say that the Red Light District and Valefar's pub are at the top.

Sher: for not repeating the red light district that I also like very much, I really like the areas of Coco's laboratory, including the “main” area although the perspective is horrible and makes the characters look tiny, but I like how it looks :(

Your favorite chapter to date?

Athe: Ufff... The first and second one I assure you no, hahaha. I will say that the third one, but also for things that are not necessarily from the chapter, but of the production. It was a good moment. I felt that everything was flowing with ease. We all assumed a clear role, they were times that made us feel comfortable and capable of assuming what came next, I think it was a qualitative leap also, both in texts and in art.

Sam: Oh. Well let's see... Chapter 5 is amazing for me, for everything that happens but also because there are many personalized interactions and choices. I can't say I have a definitive favorite, but it could come close… Also from the last ones I really like the 6.2.

Illy: Chapter 5 has so many details, so many things happen, it's hard not to be my favorite. But the last ones with the specific routes are so great that if I stay with the 5 it’s with the pain of my heart to have to choose one.

Sher: I would say 5 also because in the end when a lot of things happen is when you remember the most

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No hay mejor forma de conocer a alguien que a través de un buen tag de preguntas. En este caso hemos decidido hacer un Indie game dev question tag con las respuestas de las cuatro desarrolladoras. Esperamos que os aclare muchas incógnitas, pero si os quedáis con alguna no dudéis en usar nuestro ask.

¿Qué parte del desarrollo del juego llevas a cabo?

Athe: Escribo, escribo, me derrito sobre mi asiento, corrijo, lloro y después programo. Es un ciclo sin fin. Ocasionalmente me río como una demente mientras como Pringles.

Sam: Dibujo y coloreo sin salirme de las líneas (casi siempre) los sprites, las ilustraciones y los desvaríos que suelen surgir a partir de las 3 de la mañana.

Illy: Las traducciones a inglés.

Sher: Hago fonditos

¿Qué herramientas utilizas (hardware/software)?

Athe: Recientemente mi PC de sobremesa ha fallecido, así que he tenido que rescatar mi viejo PC del trastero, también tengo un portatil que me salva la vida más veces de las que me gustaría admitir. En cuanto al software, necesito, sobre todo, documentos de drive, programas de edición de video, imagen etc (tengo un paquete de Adobe) y por supuesto Renpy y Atom.

Sam: Mi principal amiga y compañera es mi tableta, una wacom intuos S (color pistacho, muy cuqui.) Como programas uso sobretodo el Paint Tool Sai, porque no hay nada en esta vida como su estabilizador. Y con menos frecuencia de lo que querría (para detalles, pinceles de texturas, efectos…) también utilizo el Clip Studio Paint, el cual sólo se usar como a un 2% de su capacidad… Si algún día tengo tiempo me encantaría pararme a aprender seriamente todo lo que se puede hacer con él.

Illy: Durante el curso vivo en una residencia, así que uso un portatil del año que reinó carolo, y cuando vuelvo a mi casa un ordenador de sobremesa que nunca tiene espacio en la memoria. Los capítulos los traduzco en el mismo Atom en el que está el guión completo y los guardo en drive donde los comparto con nuestra beta reader. También uso programas de edición como photoshop cuando tengo que traducir viñetas o procreate para cuando mis habilidades artísticas son requeridas.

Sher: ipad+procreate+algún retoquito final en photoshop no necesito mucho más

¿Cuál es tu parte de favorita del trabajo?

Athe: ¿Estaría mal si digo que es cuando sacamos el episodio? Durante toda la producción todo es muy estresante, hay veces, que se hace realmente cuesta arriba, pero cuando liberamos un nuevo capítulo sienta taaaan bien. Es como decirte a ti misma, sí, joder, puedo hacerlo. Mira todo lo que has escalado tú solita. Lo estás haciendo bien.

Sam: En general, mis partes favoritas son cuando se empiezan a programar las primeras escenas, y puedo ver los sprites con los fondos, los textos, y cómo se ven las ilustraciones. Todo queda siempre mucho mejor cuando se ve dentro del juego… También me gusta mucho poder cotillear el guión conforme se va escribiendo. Y de la parte artística que me toca, cuando veo que mis manos plasman la idea que tenía en mi cabeza… Sobretodo en diseños de personajes.

Illy: Tener que buscar la forma de traducir a inglés expresiones muy nuestras, investigar vocabulario que no he tenido que usar jamás y comentar algunas traducciones con nuestra beta reader (a la que adoramos) para conseguir que se entienda sin perder el significado original.

Sher: me gusta hacer el lineart cuando el sketch está completo, si ya no tengo que pensar nada más y es solo ir repasando me parece muy divertido y relajante

¿Cuál es la parte que más te cuesta?

Athe: Ufff, sí, lo admito, escribir a veces es lo PEOR. Otras me encanta, sobre todo, cuando puedo explayarme con las descripciones o detenerme en una parte íntima o que a mí me parece interesante (por ejemplo, la conversación de Hasiel del 6.3, pequeño spoiler :P). Pero, ODIO tener que empastar escenas, a menudo el protagonista se mueve de escenarios y hay que agregar siempre líneas a esas transiciones que realmente no interesan a nadie, pero que de lo contrario el texto quedaría mal montado. En fin… Es un mundo muy amplio, con mucha historia, tengo que lidiar con lo que necesito que los lectores sepan para entender los hechos, aunque a veces se haga un pelín peñazo.

Sam: Qué parte no… Quiénes, más bien e.e Zihel y Ariel son mi espinita. Especialmente Zihel. Sé que tiene que ver con el hecho de que nunca ha sido mi punto fuerte dibujar chicos, y menos si son de aspecto más masculino… Por eso también sufro mucho dibujando músculos. Otra cosa que me trae de cabeza es la perspectiva de las ilustraciones. Cada vez que intento salirme un poco del típico plano o poses… No sale bien.

Illy: El tartamudeo de Doughy ¬.¬

Sher: sillas, sofás, mesas… cualquier cosa con cuatro patas son mis enemigos

¿Algo que te ayude o anime mientras estás trabajando?

Athe: Necesito música, no, en serio, LA NECESITO. Soy incapaz de concentrarme sin ella. Si ya consigo que lo que escucho haga de caja de resonancia de lo que escribo, el texto es mil veces mejor… Pero la musa es bastante mala gente.

Sam: Tener alguna serie/peli de fondo que me entretenga. Cuanto más larga mejor, así no me toca pararme a ver qué es lo que quiero poner después.

Illy: Comer pipas para engañar a mi cerebro y no tener la tentación de ponerme a hacer otra cosa que me distraiga.

Sher: intento ver otros artistas para motivarme e inspirarme antes de empezar a dibujar, lo que más me cuesta es ese empujón inicial y es donde necesito la motivación, luego ya suelo tener algo de fondo pero no es necesario

¿Algo que te corte el rollo o te desmotive?

Athe: Los nudos narrativos. Generalmente, no son nudos gordos de la trama (eso está decidido casi en su totalidad), a menudo son decisiones pequeñas para pasar de la escena A a la escena B, pero puedo tirarme MUCHO tiempo decidiendo cuál es la forma más rápida y mejor planteada para atar esos dos cabos. Soy lo peor.

Sam: Muchas veces a la hora de empezar, no conseguir encajar las poses como quiero, por ejemplo.

Illy: Encontrar muchas partes seguidas que me cueste especialmente resolver y que me hacen creer que no tengo ni idea de hablar inglés. Y mirar cuantas líneas me quedan todavía.

Sher: cuando no se como rellenar alguna zona, si veo algo muy vacío pero no se como solucionarlo puedo tirarme días mirando la pantalla sin ser capaz de avanzar, incluso aunque tenga otras zonas que pudiera ir haciendo mientras

¿Qué no puede faltar en tu mesa o superficie de trabajo?

Athe: Libretas, post-its, bolígrafos… Soy una persona que lo anota todo, sobre todo, las tareas, pero también ordeno la historia por esquemas de colores. La pila de post-its tienen 9 colores diferentes, cada uno representa un personaje y juego mucho con ellos para miles de idioteces. A parte, a pesar de que llevo muchos más años escribiendo a ordenador de los que escribí a mano, sigo teniendo querencia a lo físico.

Sam: Café, chucherías, chocolate, cereales… Y gatos.

Illy: El móvil, las pipas, un vaso de 1L de agua de Capital America: Civil War, post-its que me recuerdan las tareas.

Sher: no tengo nada realmente lol todas mis cosas son de adorno

¿Tus horas más productivas?

Athe: Búho. Nocturna totalmente. A pesar de que tengo varias crisis al mes para forzarme a trabajar a otras horas que acaban siempre… Mal.

Sam: También por la noche en su mayoría, aunque ya no aguanto trasnochando tanto como antes de trabajar (qué tiempos aquellos…) Aunque a media tarde cuando el zoo que tengo en casa aún está echando la siesta también consigo dar un buen empujón.

Illy: Desde que acabo de comer hasta las 7 o las 8 de la tarde, cuando no tengo que cocinar, limpiar, hacer recados...

Sher: le tomo el testigo a Illy aparentemente, a partir de las 7 u 8 es cuando empiezo a entrar en el mood hasta que llega la hora de dormir

¿Las horas de trabajo hacen que te olvides de comer o te hacen comer el doble?

Athe: Depende, antes comía mucho, ahora, si tengo estrés no como nada. Si me encuentro en un rango productivo normal y no estoy de los nervios, probablemente, esté comiendo por inercia.

Sam: Me hacen comer más, pero sobretodo porquerías e.e Y hacen que me olvide de las comidas sanas, sobretodo de cenar por la noche.

Illy: Depende de mi estado de ánimo, pero normalmente comer el doble.

Sher: en general soy una persona MUY distraída así que no suelo conseguir centrarme en una tarea para llegar a ninguno de esos dos modos pero supongo que cuando estoy muuuuuuy dentro de la tarea, me olvido. Pero eso pasa como un par de veces al año y “olvido” es “lo retraso una hora”.

¿Qué parte de tu set up mejorarías/cambiarías (en estética o funcionalidad) si no tuvieses límite de dinero?

Athe: Estoy tratando de que alguno de mis periféricos peguen con el resto. Todos son de un maldito color diferente, al parecer estoy maldita… Ahora en serio, desearía tener una mejor gráfica que me permitiese hacer videocapturas, unos altavoces y una impresora de calidad.

Sam: En realidad, no creo que necesitara nada más complejo de lo que ya tengo… Pero por mejorar, me llaman la atención las tabletas más profesionales, las grandes con la pantalla incluida y eso.

Illy: Un portátil nuevo que me deje abrir 4 pestañas de chrome, el Atom y photoshop al mismo tiempo sin quedarse tieso.

Sher: Una pantalla de pc que no me cambiara los colores que uso en el ipad seria bonito la verdad

¿A qué personaje te pareces más? ¿Y por qué?

Athe: Ufff Creo que la respuesta fácil sería decir Akane… Pero, Akane es mejor persona. :P

Sam: Esto es muy complicado… Son todos muy distintos, pero aún así no creo que me parezca mucho a ninguno. Por decir algo, me podría identificar con la tendencia a evitar problemas de Maske, y su lado más casero y tranquilo. Y bueno… Dado que Akane es OC mío de hace muchos años, seguramente tenga algo de ella también.

Illy: Creo que en parte tengo el instinto de alejarme de las movidas de Maske, y por otro la superficialidad de Joe, aunque tbh ojalá parecerme realmente a nuestros bebés geniales.

Sher: sorprendida porque (unpopular opinión por aquí) es de los que “menos me importan” realmente pero diría que Pin porque es tontito, feliz y probablemente tenga una habitación satánica y orgulloso de ello

Tu CG/arte favorito.

Athe: DE MOMENTO. Maske capítulo 1. No podría ser más predecible. Lo sé.

Sam: Coincido bastante en la de Maske del capítulo 1. Pero también metería en el top la de Pin del capítulo 5 y la de Akane del capítulo 6.2.

Illy: ¿¿Kyeran en el tanque de Coco?? ¿Es siquiera real? Ser básica es mi marca.

Sher: sorprendida de nuevo y decepcionada pero diría que la de Hasiel de ángel porque me gustan los vestidos bonitos, los pelos bonitos y las alas bonitas

Tu BG/escenario favorito.

Athe: Me flipa el Barrio Rojo. Me gusta la vida de ese sitio, su historia, pero la forma de plasmarlo… Uggg Sher lo llevó a otro nivel. La suciedad de la calle, la nocturnidad, los edificios constreñidos...

Sam: Creo que me quedo con el de la plaza de Raziel, me gusta mucho desde el primer día.

Illy: No sé si puedo elegir solo uno T__T pero diría que el Barrio Rojo y el bar de Valefar están en el top.

Sher: por no repetir el barrio rojo que también me gusta mucho, me gustan mucho las zonas del laboratorio de Coco, incluida la zona “principal” aunque la perspectiva sea horrible y haga a los pj parecer diminutos, pero me gusto como quedo :(

¿Tu capítulo favorito hasta las fecha?

Athe: Ufff… El uno y el dos os aseguro que no, jajaja. Diré que el tres, pero también por cosas que no son necesariamente del capítulo, sino de la producción. Fue un buen momento. Sentí que todo estaba fluyendo con facilidad. Todas asumimos un rol claro, unos tiempos que nos hacían sentir cómodas y capaces de asumir lo que venía después, creo que fue un salto cualitativo también, tanto en los textos, como en el arte.

Sam: Ay. Pues a ver… El capítulo 5 es una pasada para mi, por todo lo que pasa pero también porque hay muchas interacciones personalizadas y elecciones. No puedo decir que tenga un favorito definitivo, pero podría acercarse… También me gusta mucho de los últimos el 6.2.

Illy: El capítulo 5 tiene tantos detalles, pasan tantas cosas, que es difícil que no sea mi favorito, pero los ultimos de rutas específicas son tan geniales que si me quedo con el 5 es con un poco de dolor de tener que elegir uno.

Sher: Diría el 5 también porque al final cuando pasan muchas cosas es cuando mas se te queda grabado

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flying-elliska · 6 years ago

Text

HS Reunion AU pt. 2

Elu future! fic pt. 2/? This one is in Eliott’s POV. Not the reunion yet but we’re getting there !

MERCREDI 2:30, 27/06/30

Eliott can’t sleep. Next to him, Lucas is hogging most of the bed as usual, doing his best impression of a drunken starfish. His breathing is a little on the loud side, but it’s never disturbed Eliott. If anything, it grounds him. It’s like his own little white noise machine, except more cuddly.

His own tendency to wake up at night used to scare him, but he’s learned to work around it. He doesn’t immediately jump to conclusions anymore. He just makes sure that he goes to bed early enough and that his overall schedule stays steady. And when it occasionally does happen, he’s learned to occupy himself, not to stay alone with his thoughts in the dark. This is often his most creative time, now.

He kisses his husband’s forehead softly before getting up, as silently as possible, and makes his way to their shared working room. Lucas needs his sleep. Eliott is actually a bit worried - these last few weeks, as the date of the high school reunion started to loom closer, he’s clearly been stressed out. He hasn’t seen his husband’s pricklier side this much in quite some time. It’s never something he directs at Eliott either, but he has been going on an abnormally high number of oddly specific rants against his colleagues, the news, and the Parisian public transport system. Not that it’s in anyway deserving of praise, but still.

As his computer boots up, Eliott is considering working a little on the scenario for his next project, but he’s suddenly struck by the need to go check on some of his old files.

It’s still there. Polaris.

As he was applying to film school, he’d tried to go back to it, but it hadn’t worked out, and he had even less luck the next times he tried. It didn’t just exist in his head anymore ; it was something that belonged to him and Lucas. He didn’t want to show it to other people. It had become too intimate, too charged.

It still feels like the most special thing he’s ever done. But…They’ve been together for more than ten years now. And they have so many other memories to build off from, so many memories that are so uniquely theirs. Nobody will ever know the private details of those moments. So maybe he could finally bring this to life, as a celebration instead of a pure expression of yearning. As a recognition of how important it was and still is.

And he has so many talented people around him now. One of his friends has been experimenting with a new way of capturing light on film, that gives this surreal glow to everything to the point where they can work with dust motes and flow… Well, the point is, he’s not alone anymore, and he’s got experience now, enough to make his lonely teenage self’s vision into something solid and beautiful.

Isn’t that what he has done with his life, against all odds ?

He grabs his graphic tablet and archives his latest project - something about giant mythical beasts ambling through the city at night with old school techniques like models, shadows and cut paper - to sketch some new storyboards. He’s got a whole new lease on how to do angles and transitions now. He wants to incorporate a flashlight, a moment of flickering where boundaries are blurred and everything hangs in the balance. Scary, but magical. Those are the moments of transformation, where most important things happen in life.

He gets so lost in the process he doesn’t even notice Lucas entering the room until he has sneaked in and rested his chin on Eliott’s shoulder.

“Polaris, huh ?

- Yeah.

- You gave your creature hair this time,” Lucas mumbles.

Eliott stares at his latest drawing. It’s true. Short fuffy hair standing up, a little bit like a spiky puff. He laughs softly. He’s never going to find an actor with eyes the right kind of blue.

“Of course I did. Well, that’s fine. I’m drawing from memory now anyway”

Lucas muffles a noise in Eliott’s shirt, half-yawn half-embarassed protest.

“You married a filmmaker, babe. Did you honestly believe you would escape being a little bit of a muse someday ?

- Shit, I can’t with you. How are you still so romantic at 4 in the morning ?”

Eliott laughs and keeps drawing, Lucas wrapped around his back and watching as the grey light of pre-dawn slowly fills the room through the curtains.

After a while, Lucas whispers :

“How’s the weather, my love ?”

It’s their way of checking in with each other, developped after many mishaps. In the years after they first got together, Lucas was so worried about him at times it lead to several breakdowns in communication, the worst of it culminating in a six-months break when they were in their second year of university. He was never patronizing or smothering, like his first girlfriend Lucille. But he had a tendency to go overboard when caring for others, neglecting his own health and studies. He knows, now, that Lucas was overcompensating for his past, desperately trying to extend the love and care he’d sorely missed himself. But at the time, Eliott hated the way it made him feel like a burden.

They’ve come a long way since then, feeling around in the dark past clumsiness and shame and earnest mistakes, to a place of deep honesty and comfort.

“It’s okay, I think. Mostly sunny, a few rain showers. Probably rainbows. Might take an umbrella. What about you ?

- Cloudy with a chance of meatballs ?

Eliott snorts.

- Does that mean I’m finally getting pasta ?

Lucas groans.

- You’re lucky I love you so much, because that was the most atrocious movie reference I have ever heard.

- I’m sorry, but seriously, this HS reunion thing is kinda freaking me out.”

There’s a moment of silence. Eliott gives him time to come forward.

“It’s like…our lives are great now. But when I think about the past, there’s this insecurity that comes up like…it makes no sense. I’m out, I’m happy, I have my own family. But it’s still there.

- I get it. I’m an award winning director with an amazing, beautiful husband who’s well on his way to eradicate the most awful virus known to mankind. Life is good. But those people, they knew us when we were vulnerable and completely unfinished…I feel like the moment I step back in that courtyard, I’ll be that weird kid again, who failed his bac twice and created all that drama and isn’t right in the head. Because that’s what they’ll remember me as. The more I’ll see it in their eyes, the more true it will become again.”

He feels Lucas flinch against him at his harsh words, and unfold his arms to wrap them around Eliott’s waist, squeezing him tight.

- I...don’t want you to feel like that, Lucas says. And me, I just...well, those weren’t my proudest moments. I still feel it’s important that we go, I just...it’s weird how much this is affecting me.

- It’s going to be fine, my love, Eliott continues. We can deal with a few flashbacks. I know I’m at a place in life when I can face it now. Yeah we were a mess, back then. I wouldn’t relive it for the world. But we owe so much to those kids we used to be, you know ? They got us here, and they had nobody to guide them a lot of the time. They deserve us to be proud of them, even if they weren’t proud of themselves. And I mean. Meeting you was magic. The rest was all worth it, only for that.”

At that, Lucas leans forward to kiss him, softly, before bumping their cheeks together softly.

- We really did all that, huh, Lucas muses. Man, we were a bunch of truly brave little morons.

- Yeah, we were. Eliott laughs softly as he keeps sketching. Makes for great cinema, though.

#skam france #elu #lucas x eliott #lucas lallemant #eliott demaury #my fic #fluff #no f word in sight #praise the lord #ughhh tumble #hs reunion au

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demaury · 6 years ago

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Some kind of mistake (cha. 5)

Ever since Eliott first came across the new resident of the apartment 320, he made peace with the fact that Lucas ‘Big Blue Eyes’ Lallemant would, one way or another, turn his life upside down. Thing is, he hadn’t expected that Lucas’ wife and Lucas’ daughter would play a part in it. Because, you know, he didn’t know they existed until it was too late. (ao3 link)

As it turned out, it took two more rounds of teething rings, after the set of keys they took out of the freezer, before Ava started to calm down for good. They talked a bit more, whispering lower and lower as the baby was drifting to sleep.

When Lucas left to change her, Eliott tiredly glanced around the living room, for what felt like the first time since he had gotten here. There were pictures, framed here and there, hanging on the walls, sitting on the mantle of the out-of-order fireplace. Manon and a couple of girls grinning broadly on the beach, during summer. Lucas and his friends. Ava the day she was born. Manon and Lucas. Manon, Lucas, and two more people. There was one of Manon’s sweatshirts abandoned on the armchair next to Eliott, some pregnancy books on a shelf and others covering a century of Feminism or fashion. What am I even doing here, Eliott thought.

His life was upstairs. His vinyls, his computer, his graphic tablet. He was just an intruder here, and knowing that Manon wasn’t even in town made it all the more difficult not to feel guilty about it.

Yet, when Lucas returned with Ava, he didn’t move, and they picked up the conversation where they had left it — something about sixteen-year-old Eliott sneaking in the school at night to repaint an entire wall. They talked some more, about their music tastes this time, and when the clock hit four, Lucas finally went to put the baby to sleep and Eliott found no more pretext to stay.

“I should get back upstairs,” he said, stretching his limbs as he talked.

He was practically sure that the bags under Lucas’ eyes had gone two shades darker since he had arrived. It made him want to hug him. Wrap his arms around him and draw him close until he could rest his chin on top of his head. He was the perfect size to be hugged — that was one of the things Eliott had noticed.

Lucas didn’t say anything, but when Eliott moved to the front door, he followed him.

“Have a safe trip home,” he said, grinning despite his tired features, as he leaned in the doorframe.

Eliott’s lips curled into a smile. “Shouldn’t be a problem.”

“And here I am, trying to be caring,” Lucas retorted, rolling his eyes.

Eliott chuckled quietly, biting down onto his lip. His heartbeat raced faster when Lucas’ eyes followed the gestured. Go home. Go home already. He couldn’t do anything. No matter how much he wanted to — to reach out, to touch him, to kiss him. Despite his best efforts, his arm moved on its own accord, and before he even realized it, his fingers brushed a strand of Lucas floppy hair. Stupefaction passed through Lucas’ eyes, and his eyebrows twitched ever so slightly, as if he was trying to keep a straight face.

If he had been free to kiss him, that was how he would have wanted to do it.

Right here, right now. But he wasn’t.

With a lingering look behind his shoulder, he left.

It was around 9 when Eliott woke up, with heavy eyes and a stiffy neck, and entirely too much work to deal with. Dragging himself from one room to the next was motivated in large part by this simple fact, and also the irrepressible need to get coffee into his system — not sure he would have made it out of bed otherwise.

After lunch, he allowed himself a break to go buy some emergency supplies (a new lighter, to begin with, because he was really no good with matches).

A note was slipped under his door.

Thank you for last night, you saved me.

Text me if you want to hang out. It’s nice having you around.

A number was scribbled underneath.

Eliott stared at the few words, heart beating faster than he was willing to admit. He folded the paper and put it in his back pocket, before grabbing his jacket and heading out.

He didn’t text.

Trying to avoid your own neighbor(s) turned out to be a lot easier than Eliott had thought, when you don’t have the same schedule in the first place. Lucas and Manon left together before 8 in the mornings, and came back at around half past six at night; Eliott’s schedule, for his part, was basically anytime in-between.

He was still thinking about Lucas.

A lot more than he was supposed to, actually.

Especially when he had decided on not taking things with Lucas any further (whatever that was that Lucas wanted from him).

It worked well, really.

Until someday it didn’t.

It was roughly a week and a half after that night they had spent watching Ava together with Lucas; Eliott had just checked on his mail when he came face-to-face with Manon. She was wearing one of those oversized sweatshirts tucked into a pair of mom jeans, a denim jacket folded under her arm. A casual look if there was any, and there wasn’t any trace of makeup on her face — yet, she was beautiful. She smiled when she saw him.

“Hi,” she said, sounding genuinely happy to meet him, when he politely nodded at her.

He hated the fact that she was nice.

He hated the fact that he found her nice.

“You’re Eliott, right?”, she said again. “Lucas talks a lot about you. I’m Manon.”

She offered her hand and Eliott considered his options quickly, before shaking it. “He talks a lot about you too.”

Apparently it was funny, because she chuckled lightly. “Thank you so much for being so patient with us. He told me you even helped with Ava while I was away. I bet he was totally freaking out and I’m glad you were there.”

How did he keep finding himself in situations like this? That was a mystery.

He fidgeted a bit with the belthoops of his jeans, shrugging a little. “I didn’t do anything, really.” Understatement of the year. Drooling after the dad’s baby while they were in the same room didn’t really qualify him as a good babysitter, which couldn’t bug Manon because he highly doubted she knew about that part.

“Lucas is still very insecure about being alone with her, no matter if I keep telling him that babies don’t break.” She had that love-sick expression on her face that made Eliott equally soft and want to punch a wall. “Don’t tell him I said that, he hates whenever I bring it up.”

Why don’t you just stab me with your keys?, he wanted to yell.

“Alright,” he mumbled, coughing a little. “I’m pretty busy these days, so I’m not going to be able to, uh, hang out with him though.”

“Oh, yeah, he told me that too. I think he misses you. I don’t know what you guys have been up to but you made an impression on him,” she said, laughing, then she unfolded her jacket and put it on. “Anyway, I gotta go. It was nice chatting with you. If you ever feel like dropping by, you’re welcome.”

And with that she left, leaving some flowery perfume in her wake.

“Eliott, I love you but there’s a limited amount of time you can spend staring at a bra before my manager starts finding it fishy,” Siham observed, as she swiftly slid next to him into an alley of the store. “We got a lot of high-schoolers these days trying to steal stuff.”

He turned around to find a woman with a pair of red-rimmed glasses staring at them from behind the counter, next to the entrance. Siham exchanged a small ‘told you’ look with him when he turned back. She was wearing one of those unsold products she, alongside the other girls working at Undiz, was supposed to wear as her work uniform. Her black tee proclaimed in pink letters that she shouldn’t be bothered on Sundays, which wasn’t all that funny but completely true — Idriss had learned about it at his expenses when they had started dating, a lifetime ago.

Eliott shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I could be trying to find the perfect gift.”

Siham cocked an eyebrow. “These aren’t the kind of things you wanna buy your sister,” she said, pointing at a row of leopard printed bras.

Eliott frowned, scrunching his nose in disgust. “That’s something I’d rather not think about, thank you.”

She chuckled. “A little bird told me your thing these days would be more Calvin Klein than La Perla anyway.”

Eliott glared at the floor. “Idriss can’t keep a secret for shit.” Not that it was a secret per se, but still. Plus, lots of girls owned Calvin Klein panties, for what he knew, but he didn’t feel like taking the conversation there.

Siham grinned, examining a bra she had picked randomly from the shelf to look like she was actually busy with a customer and not just spending some time with one of her boyfriend’s friends. “I’m counting on that to ease my mind in the coming years. So, what are you doing here? And don’t tell me you just came by to say hello, I don’t have much time for that no matter how much I like having you around.”

Eliott huffed a sigh and stared at his feet. “Your big bird doesn’t know the full story. Calvin Klein is a lot more complicated than I thought he was.”

Siham paused, turning to him with a pair of panties in her hands. She glanced next to Eliott’s shoulder, probably to her boss, then put the panties back on the shelf and dragged him away from the prying eyes, towards the pajama section. “How much complicated are we talking here?”, she asked, careful. “Are we talking about a ‘Joris’ level of ‘complicated’? Do I have to call the cops?”

He snorted and shook his head. “Do you think-,” he paused, then sighed. “Do you think you can love two people at once?”

Siham blinked, then tilted her head, frowning. “Ow. Care to elaborate?”

Eliott’s eyes trailed to the shelf. “He’s with someone,” he mumbled. “And I mean she’s great. She’s nice. She’s even beautiful.”

“Isn’t that the moment where you’re supposed to tell me she’s a bitch who gets in the way of your happiness?”, Siham suggested, leaning on the shelf.

“They have a baby. If anyone’s getting in the way of anyone’s happiness, it’s me,” Eliott groaned, and before Siham gave him the ‘oh no’ speech that went along with the ‘oh no’ expression she already had on her face, he quickly added: “But he’s giving me so many signals, and I just- I mean I like him. I like him a fucking lot. But it’s obvious he’s got feelings for her too, and that she’s got feelings for him as well. I just- I don’t know.”

“It’s a wonder how you and Sofiane always manage to get yourself in situations like these,” Siham muttered, shaking her head.

“Believe it or not but I’m not seeking them.”

“I know, sweetie, I know. But there are a thousand guys out there and you manage to get hooked by one who is giving you mixed signals and has a baby on top of things.”

“Sofiane has been single for ten years just because Imane is busy with med school,” Eliott deadpanned. “I don’t know how that compares.”

“Yeah, you’re right. At least we know Sofiane would treat her right and the other way around,” Siham said. Eliott looked at her and she sighed, gently squeezing his arm. “Eli, I don’t know what you want me to tell you. Just be careful not to end up hurt if you decide to follow through with it.”

Easier said than done, he thought begrudgingly as he exited the store a few minutes later, drawing up the hood of his sweaters when he stepped in the street. Siham had to shoo him away before her manager started to pester her, but invited him over for dinner, arguing that they’d have plenty of time to talk before Idriss came back from whatever gym place he went to these days. It hardly cheered him up. If anything, going to her had left him with more questions than answers. No matter, in the end, whether or not he was ready to share Lucas. No matter whether or not he was ready to share him, his affections, his love, his time. He wasn’t sure he wanted to be involved with someone who was ready to put up with a situation like this — and put his loved ones through it all.

His feet took him to the bus stop nearby, and he pulled out his phone to check on the time. The rain was getting heavier, cars passing by splashing up waves of dirty water onto the sidewalk and practically onto his shoes.

“Hey there,” a familiar voice startled him.

His eyes snapped up from his phone, meeting Lucas’ blue gaze. Thinking of the devil. His hair was all damp from the rain and his face had found back some colors since the last time he had seen him, but he still looked a bit tired. Uncertain, even, as he was fidgeting next to him.

“Lucas,” Eliott said, a little bit taken aback. “Uh, how are you?”

“I’m fine,” he shrugged. There was a pause before he added: “You didn’t text.”

“No.”

“But you saw the note.”

“I did.” He swallowed, heart thrumming in his chest, and pressed his lips hard together before he shook his head. He wasn't keen on bringing it up in the street, but he didn't feel like making up stories about why he hadn't texted in nearly two weeks. “Lucas… I don’t think it’s going to work the way you want it to work.”

“Why not?” The blatant disappointment and the way Lucas’ face fell made his insides twist painfully. “I thought there was something between us,” he said quietly, eyes trailing to the ground, fixing a puddle. “I thought we had something.”

“I thought so too,” he admitted, slumping back against the metallic frame of the bus stop. “But I don’t want this. Not- Not like this, at least. How is that even a life? For you, for me?”

Were they supposed to establish a calendar? To decide when he would get to spend some time with him? Would Manon even know about it? How could they manage to hide it from her, if they even decided on giving it a go? Eliott literally lived upstairs, and like Lucas had said, the walls were thin.

Lucas looked up, brows furrowing. “Look, I’ll admit the situation isn’t- well, ideal, but-”

“Ideal?” Eliott repeated, eyes widening. “Ideal? Lucas, living at your parents’ while being thirty-five isn’t ideal. This-” He shook his head. “This is so much more than not ideal.”

“So what? What if it isn’t?,” Lucas snapped, and the harshness of his tone matched the thunderstorm in his eyes. “I like it as it is.”

Eliott was taken aback, just like the last time Lucas had snapped at him. He was staring right at him furiously, almost defiantly. It made Eliott lose his confidence and threw his attempts at remaining calm by the window.

“But I don’t!” he exclaimed. “We aren’t anything and it already makes me want to kick something, to simply know you’re with them! How is that supposed to work when I feel like I’m the bad guy of my own story?”

Lucas opened his mouth and closed it. Pain flashed through his eyes, soon replaced by anger and bitterness. “I’m so sorry that you having… whatever those feelings are for me is what makes you depreciate yourself,” he articulated, voice rough and strained.

He took a step to the side to leave the bus stop and stride under the rain, and Eliott didn’t even fight the urge to follow him because his legs moved before he even gave it a thought.

“For fuck’s sake, liking you isn’t the problem! Sharing you is!”, he found himself practically yelling, grabbing Lucas by the arm and making him spin around. How had his life gotten so dramatic? When did he suddenly become some mainstream fucker running under the rain to catch their significant other? “I don’t want to have to share you,” he said, earnestly. “I could deal with sharing you with Ava, but with Manon, I just- I can’t. I know she’s Ava’s mom but-”

Lucas stared at him, right in the eye, and said nothing for an agonizing minute; Eliott was left to stare back, unable to do or to say anything else. He couldn’t think properly, he was just feeling like everything was coursing through his brain too fast for him to be able to process it.

“You think she’s mine?” Lucas said eventually. “You think Ava is my daughter?”

That wasn’t what Eliott was expecting to hear. He didn’t know what he was expecting, but certainly not this. “I don’t- I mean I thought-,” he stammered, but before he could finish a proper sentence, Lucas furiously hit him square in the chest.

“Well you’re wrong,” he blurted out angrily, “and I honestly can’t believe you thought I was enough of an asshole to hit on you with a girlfriend and a baby!”

Eliott rubbed the spot on his chest. “I never said-”

He was cut off once more, once again by something that seemed to knock the air of his lungs. Lucas grabbed his face and crashed their lips together, in a searing kiss that Eliott had dreamed about more times he would ever admit it. He didn’t care that they were in the middle of the street, and he couldn’t care about the rain drenching them both — once passed the initial shock, he kissed Lucas back, pulling closer by the waist.

They broke apart as suddenly as they had come together in the first place.

“I’m not Ava’s dad,” Lucas said, and the words sank in, making Eliott’s heartbeat yet again faster at how much of a relief it was to finally hear those words. “And I’m not doing whatever you thought I’m doing with Manon. We live together but-”

This time, it was Eliott who cut him off, claiming his mouth just enough to make him shut up as he cupped his jaw. “Details later,” he said, resting their foreheads together, his thumb grazing the skin of his cheek.

Lucas huffed a snort, but it sounded a little shaky.

Later, Eliott thought, chewing on his lip, somewhat bashful all of a sudden.

With dry clothes.

Or maybe without.

#elu fic #skam france #eliott demaury #lucas lallemant #mine #*#*skm

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pixelzfairy · 5 years ago

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Vector vs Raster - What Is The Basic Difference and Which One Choose for Your Artwork

If you are a photographer or designer, you probably know what you are dealing with. For the others who are just starting, it can be a little bit overwhelming – raster, vector, bitmap, pixel. I’m expecting that everybody knows .jpeg, .jpg, but what about .svg? What is the difference between .png and .jpeg? Well, if don’t know about .jpeg, probably you have never downloaded a wallpaper then but do not worry, everyone has to start somewhere, someday!

What is actually the difference between vector and raster?

Which formats are used for each of them?

For which projects I should use vector or raster?

For a digital artist, it is very important to understand the difference between vector and pixel art. Each of them has special software and needs, each of them is used for different purpose. Also, every single file format is giving you different options. Today we will look at the basics of these to get a better understanding.

Raster (bitmap, pixel)

Raster images are often called bitmaps. They consist of millions of tiny little squares which we call pixels. Pixel stands for “picture element”. It’s the smallest physical element of a digital display device. It’s pretty easy to recognize it by yourself. Try to open any photo you have and zoom in. Closer you look, more blurry the image becomes and in the end you will be able to see the little pixels. Bitmaps are created with pixel-based programs, captured with a camera or scanner. Usually, almost every drawing/painting app is raster oriented. Creating such artwork is pretty similar to traditional painting or drawing. You have many brushes to choose from, you can blend colors easily to soften the transition, you can apply many filters, gradients, undefined lines and shapes, and complex composition.

Raster format is resolution specific – that means that the photo you just took is displayed in one specific resolution. If you will try to resize the picture, bigger without changing the number of pixels, it will get blurry and not nice to look at anymore. Scaling down its not such a big problem, but the smaller version could be less crisp or softer than the original. There is a possibility to change the number of pixels but the pixels will be added randomly, rarely producing a good outcome.

We have two main names using raster images. PPI and DPI. They are both describing the resolution or clarity of an image, but they are not the same thing.

PPI (pixel per inch) means how many pixels will fit into one inch. A 72 PPI image will have 72 pixels per inch. PPI describes the number of pixels for the digital screen. PPI can be modified with photo/painting editing software.

DPI (dots per inch) means how many dots per inch my printer will print on the paper. Printers are not printing little squares. So how do they do it with raster images? They reproduce the image by spitting out tiny dots consisting of a mix of colors – Cyan, Magenta, Yellow, and Key (black) per the pixel of your image. DPI is set by the printer itself and cannot be manipulated.

That’s why we as digital artists can work with two different color schemes CMYK and RGB. Today we are not going so deep into this, so just put it simply – CMYK is for printing method, RGB is for electronic displays – monitors, phones, tablets etc.

Almost all the pictures you will find on the websites are raster images (even though they could be vector images before). Photographs and pictures in books or magazines are usually also pixel images, but these images are saved with very high resolution what is making them very big files in the end.

Formats of raster images

.jpg, .jpeg, .gif, .png, .tiff or .tif, .psd (Photoshop)

Popular programs used with raster images

Adobe Photoshop, Procreate, Affinity Designer (pixel persona), AutoDesk, Corel and many others

In which hobbies or jobs I can use pixel graphic

Photography, digital painting

Vector

Total opposite from pixel images, vector images are created with a mathematical formula that’s defining lines, curves and primitive shapes like polygons, circles, and rectangles known as paths. Vector graphics have to be created in software that is designed to create lines includes node position, locations, lengths, and curves. Because vector graphics are composed of geometrical primitives, it is very best to use it for more structured images like logos, line art, illustrations with flat, uniform colors, letterheads, and fonts.

Vector images are more flexible and versatile. You can scale them down, up easily and perfectly. They have also no resolution restriction and therefore they are not depended on the output device. And because vector images don’t have to handle millions of tiny pixels, these files are usually smaller than their raster sibling. You can easily recognize vector by looking at the edges, doesn’t matter how much you scale, they will always stay crystal clear and smooth.

One of the biggest disadvantages is the compatibility. They are often saved as native files from the programs they have been created in. Like Adobe Illustrator and their native .ai file. If I will use Affinity Designer to open .ai file, good, I will succeed. But if I will save a file with Affinity, I will not be able to open it with Illustrator. Another disadvantage is the limitation of effects. Vector will be never as a natural painting. It is just not possible. The best to print vector is PDF or EPS, which are producing the sharpest result.

THEREFORE MANY ARTISTS ARE COMBINING THESE TWO TOGETHER AS WELL.

Formats of vector images

.ai, .ait, .art, .svg, .pdf, .eps and many more

Popular programs used with vector vector graphics

Adobe Illustrator, Affinity Designer, Corel Draw, Sketch, Inkscape etc.,

In which hobbies or jobs I can use pixel graphic

Graphic designer, illustrator, printing publications design and others

Conclusion vector vs raster

It all depends on your project. Vectors are best for logos and illustrations. Raster images are classic for digital photography and are very often used for all graphic once they have been published digitally. If you want to repaint Mona Lisa on your iPad, you will not use vector unless you would like to look it as Picasso style Mona Lisa.

Raster images should be used if you require high lever detail (photos) and you don’t care much about by enlarging the image by a great amount. On the other hand vector you will use on images what requires tiny details and might be resized in the future.

#blogging #raster #pixel #vector

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houseofvans · 6 years ago

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ART SCHOOL | PHIL MORGAN | VANS US OPEN 2018

Vans US Open is still kicking, and folks are loving artist Phil Morgan’s colorful and fun skateboard inspired murals! This Wales based artist is known for his creative skateboarding and pun inspired paintings, drawings and graphics. No stranger to skateparks and murals, Phil’s artwork was a perfect fit for this year’s Vans Park Series course. Get to know Phil and learn more about his background, his mural, and his favorite moments from painting the course!

Photographs by Ginger Caranto

Introduce yourself! My name is Phil Morgan and I'm an illustrator / artist from South Wales in the UK. I started drawing from a very early age, but only started taking it more seriously in the last ten years. I didn't study at university or anything like that, and initially, It's something I enjoyed doing as more of a hobby; a labour of love. After having tons of different jobs growing up, art was eventually something I decided to try harder at, with the hopes of one day making a living from it.

When did art start from being something you enjoyed to something you wanted to do? I was always drawing cartoon characters from TV and comic books when I was a kid. When I started a band in my teens, I always enjoyed making funny flyers for shows and designing our merchandise. That was really one of the first times I saw my work from a different perspective. It wasn't until 2009 that I started designing skateboard graphics for my friend's skate company, Crayon Skateboards. That sort of led me into a period of creating work digitally with a graphics tablet, and using programs like Photoshop. But after a while I got bored of not getting my hands dirty and went back to drawing stuff the old fashioned way. I realised then that I could create work quicker with pencil, ink and paint, and I prefer the way the original work looks. Drawing and painting are two things I try and do each and every day.

Who are your biggest influences? Growing up, I would say music would be my biggest influence. One of my all time favourite bands is Fugazi. The whole DIY ethic of that band has a big influence on what I try and do. I'm also a huge David Shirley fan. I love the humour in his work. Skateboarding is another obvious one, starting from back in the '80s. Then there's family and friends, of course. The usual stuff.

What’s your process like? A lot of pencil sketching to begin with, and a lot of tea and coffee. If I'm working with paint, I like to use flat colours and not too many. I like my work to look bold and colourful, and house paint is something I work with a lot to create original pieces. If I'm creating something digitally, I scan my sketches and take them into Photoshop, then redraw the illustration using my graphics tablet.

What is your most important artist tool? Is there something you can’t live without in your studio? Without saying the obvious being a pencil or a pen, probably the most useful tool I have would be my graphics tablet. I also need to have lots of fine line pens in all different sizes, as I tend to go through them pretty quick.

What is the last art show that you went to? The last art show I went to was a group show in Long Beach, just the other week that I helped put together with my good friend Ignacio Villanueva. "Above Ground" will be on show until August 17 at Lord Windsor Coffee House, and features work by myself, Michael C. Hsiung, Ignacio Villanueva and Ben Brough.

What are you inspiration? Anything from films and music, to having conversations with friends over a beer in the pub. Old memories, visiting galleries -- it's endless really.

Can you tell us about the mural you created for the Vans Park Series course? I created three murals for this year's event. I had recently painted a mini-ramp back home for my friends at Cardiff Skateboard Club, so I took some of those ideas and painted them in new ways for this park. It's my first time painting something of this scale.

What is your favorite part about painting a mural? I like recreating my drawings as bigger pieces of art. It's a challenge, but I like the pressure of trying to paint that way. For me, this whole experience of coming to Huntington Beach was a real honour, trying to put Wales on the map.

What was it like painting alongside other artists? It was a great experience, meeting other creatives and all the people involved. Feeding ideas off each other, watching individual processes. We all worked really hard during the days and got to hang out over food and drinks in the evening. I've definitely made a bunch of new friends along the way.

Best moment from your time spent in park? My whole time being here will always be a memory I look back on fondly. If I had to pick one, it would probably be the end point of the three days, when we were able to step back and take in what we had all created together.

Hardest part of painting the mural? I would definitely say the heat was a challenge. The first day was like painting inside a volcano. Luckily, the other days were just humid so we didn't have the sun beating down on us. The other challenge is holding your body in certain positions to work on your design because of the shape of the surface. My back and my legs were feeling it at the end of each day, without a doubt.

What was your highlight over the past couple days painting at the US Open? I think just being given this opportunity in general has been my personal highlight. To come out here and paint my art on the park is a real dream come true for me. I would love to come back and do it again someday.

Do you have any advice for people who have dreams of becoming an artist? Work really hard at your art and, most importantly, be nice to people.

Follow Phil | Instagram

#Art #Vans #Vans Art #Phil Morgan #vansusopen #vansparkseries #art school #interview #wales #artist #painting #mural

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mumofadaofficial-blog · 6 years ago

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C Sections - The ‘Easy’ way out

Firstly, what I have titled this is bullshit :)

Secondly, no matter what way you give birth to your child whether it be naturally, assisted, c-section etc you are amazing for doing so. Not only have you grown that tiny human with your own body, you then bring he/she into the world in whatever way possible or necessary at that time - so fucking well done you!

My mum told me from the start that every pregnancy and birth has its own story - and that is so very true. No two are the same and each and everyone should be celebrated for the greatness that it is.

My personal experience was via an emergency c-section and I want to share that with you.

From day one I had it all planned out, I wanted a water birth and I wanted it all to be as natural as possible. Id seen on one born, various videos and pictures on the internet of that special moment when a mother holds their child for the first time, I wanted that and the closeness that came with it. Unfortunately, having to be induced and the aftermath that followed that obviously wasn’t the way my story was meant to go.

When you get told you need to have a section your all systems go, your ready for it, you just want your baby out and safe. You and anything else in the world suddenly have no importance anymore and all you want is to hear those little baby cries.

I remember signing a consent form that I never read, I don’t remember getting undressed and putting a gown on so god knows who did that and I remember going into theatre where they were talking me through things and getting me prepped for surgery.

I don’t know what they said to me, I really wasn’t listening. All I can remember asking again and again is where Nath was and why wasn’t he in there. (Of corse, like the movies he was getting all scrubbed up - dishy).

It was that moment sat on the edge of the table that the panic set in, you suddenly feel very alone in a room full of people. I became scared of what was happening and the thought that I was about to undergo the first major surgery I’d ever had. Jesus Christ, I’ve only ever broke my little finger before and thats when I was about 8, so this was big time. I was told to curve myself over a cushion whilst they injected my spine, then immediately laid down on the table, and asked to lift my legs - couldn’t do it, job done. Thankfully Nath had come in by then and I felt more relaxed like I could cope with what was going on.

When it was all underway I can remember saying to Nathan that it felt like the doctor was making a pizza with my stomach 😂 He thought I was high! It’s the oddest thing, to be able to feel that someone is doing something, but to have no sensation whatsoever.��Within about 15 minutes of entering the room, Ada was born. I then had to be sewn up which took about three times as long as the birth! Also, absolutely mortified that it isn’t like one born every minute where you have a gown covering your modesty. Nothing modest about realising afterwards that the doctors have just been staring at your vagina for the past half hour or so and it definitely wasn’t covered up. (I mean they probably wasn’t looking at it at all, but you know what I mean).

I was took into a side room afterward for recovery where they fitted a catheter, what amazing things those are! Don’t even know you need a wee and that things filling itself up! Definitely don’t get confused with catheter and cannula when talking afterwards…done that far too many times and got some strange looks! It was then that the mum guilt started to set in, not only was I worried about Ada, I felt like I had failed her. Everything had been planned so perfectly in my mind of how I wanted it to go, and I felt like I had failed to deliver that to myself and my child. I felt like I wasn’t capable of giving birth, so someone else had to intervene and do it for me. (I realise now that I was stupid to think that and I did what I needed to as a mother, but I’m sure a lot of people who have had a section will understand where I am coming from). I’ve since seen a meme that said ‘I had an epidural, then I had a c-section, then I bottle fed, and now I’m sitting here at the playground wondering what all the guilt was about because my kid is just as weird as yours’ Oh so true!!

Then the time comes when you’ve managed to get some movement and feeling back into your legs and you have to stand up. Now I was told ’Stand with your legs, don’t push with your arms and don’t pull on your tummy muscles’ Easier fucking said than done Susan! (I don’t think her name was Susan, but it fits) You’ve just had your stomach muscles and womb sliced through, but just use your legs that also have no strength because there definitely a bit numb still but your desperate to get up and see your baby.

Now when that aesthetic starts to wear off, I am not going to sugar coat it, its fucking painful. Your fully aware of whats going on down there even when you just breath, god forbid you need to sneeze or cough! I think I definitely got up and about too soon, I was dizzy and lightheaded and felt like the blood had drained out of me when I got back into bed after seeing Ada. And I happily accepted any drug they wanted to give me, I couldn’t tell you what they were but they helped, so thanks for that part Susan.

The first night was a bit of a blur with how I was feeling because of everything else that was going on but I know simple things, like moving in bed and trying to sit up was hard work. I was given medication throughout the night by a midwife, who informed me I had been given some sort of super ibuprofen up my bum whilst on the operating table 😂 - which apparently I consented too but I had no idea, good work doc, didn’t even realise.

The following day I decided I needed to have a shower and sort my life out, all whilst Nathan was doing a great job of whizzing me around the hospital backwards in a wheelchair because we hadn’t quite got the hang of it going forward. Thankfully there was a seat in the shower, I’d never of had the strength to be able to stand for that length of time. It’s at times like that when you realise how much you take for granted being able to do everyday things. I remember sitting there and crying out of frustration, feeling like a massive, naked, deflated beach ball. Good job Nathan loves me because no one should have to see that haha. He washed my hair, washed me and then helped me up and got me dry. Graphic bit coming up…sorry. SO for anyone who ends up having a c section, make sure you take your pad and fresh knickers into the bathroom with you. I am saying this after learning a lesson, I did not, and was most shocked and mortified when it looked like Satan had released himself all over the bathroom floor. Nathan was pretty shocked too, he ran and got a midwife - apparently its all normal! So relax 😅

Something else that comes with c-sections…knee high compression socks. Now if your by yourself, you better ask for help. There is no way whatsoever that you will get them bad boys on single handedly after that op, Nath had to pretty much choke slam me into mine. Also, really not the best fashion accessory when its 30 something degrees outside…I think mine lasted about two days!

And then comes the dreaded day, the first poo 😳 Id been taking iron pills, three a day. To try and counteract the affect that they have on you I’d been given lactulose. Nothing was happening, I think probably 5 days past and then the urge came! I remember sitting on that toilet and wanting to push but there isn’t a single thing in your body thats gonna let you do that, so you just sit and wait, like your waiting for fucking Christmas. That was no bloody Christmas let me tell you, black poop! Straight on google to check I wasn’t dying…turns out, just the iron tablets 😂

Totally never realised you have to have injections after a c section either, absolutely fine when the midwives are doing it for you, then you get discharged…AND YOU HAVE TO DO IT YOURSELF! Theres something really hard about trying to give yourself an injection in your stomach, id have to psych myself up about ten times before id actually get it done.

Before I was discharged I had a lady come and do some exercises with me, and show me the correct way to cough e.g. holding your stomach. All fine as you know when your going to cough, but a sneeze! Oh lord, they just pop up out of nowhere, no preparation, nothing. I sneezed unexpectedly one night and was convinced I had split my stomach open, obvs Dr. Nathan checked the situation out for me - just being a drama queen as usual!

You are also told ‘Don’t do too much, and don’t lift anything heavier than a kettle for 6 weeks’ Pretty sure Ada came out weighing more than a kettle so that was that one buggered! I definitely used to do too much around the house, washing etc, but you know about it afterwards. I think for a good few weeks I just ached continuously, Getting off the sofa, sitting up in bed, walking upstairs could all be pretty hard work somedays.

Bleeding, who knew you could survive after losing so much blood. And just when you think it’s stopped, BOOM, guess who’s back, back again! Another thing I googled to see if I was dying, I wasn’t, and good old google informed me that everyone is different but it can last for a few months on and off, GREAT! What a glam life us mums have.

Personally I am gutted that I won’t experience a natural birth, the chances of me having another baby is currently slim to none and even then I would book in for a c-section because I am too scared of what could happen after Ada.

I think the point of this is to be mindful of what you say to someone, e.g. the easy way out, too posh to push etc. Not everyone has a choice, the ideal birth they have created in their mind has been taken away from them, some people won’t ever get the chance to experience a natural birth, a contraction, that first hold. Some people might opt to have a c-section, and that is totally fine! We all have to do what is best for us and has our Childs best interest at heart.

So whatever choice you make or have to make, do it for you and your baby - fuck what everyone else says, this is your story, not theirs.

Amy x

#mumblog #mumblogger #family #mumlife #blog #bloggers #mumbloggers #nicubaby #csection #emergencycsection #awareness

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laetro · 3 years ago

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Ritaban Das: Storyboarding for Effective Storytelling

Character designer, illustrator and storyboard artist, Ritaban Das, elaborates on the significance of storyboarding to effectively tell a story and thus also shares insights from his decade-long experience in animation.

Ritaban Das is a character designer, storyboard artist and illustrator working in the animation industry for the last decade. He’s worked on a wide range of national and international 2D and 3D animated projects for platforms like Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network and Pogo. Recently, he shifted to Toronto, Canada for higher studies, looking to contribute his skills to the Canadian animation industry. He hopes to someday work on his own animated show.

ORDER A CUSTOM ILLUSTRATION

Q. How do you differentiate your approach between the roles of character designer, storyboard artist and illustrator?

Ritaban Das: At the end of the day it’s all interconnected; it all comes down to ‘story’. When I design a character, I start by thinking about what kind of personality the character has and their role in the story. I think about what I’m trying to communicate through the illustration. This helps me to figure out poses and expressions. As I’m drawing, I’m thinking about shapes, proportions and appeal. I also think about the composition of the illustration. When I make storyboards, I’m telling a story in motion by acting out the characters in them.

Q. What have been the greatest lessons you’ve learnt professionally and personally in your ten years of experience?

Ritaban Das: Draw what you like and the rest will fall into place. Only you know what motivates you.

Q. How did you find your calling to be an artist and, thereafter, how did you nurture your skills to hone your craft?

Ritaban Das: I’ve been drawing for as long as I remember and I’m always very passionate about it. To be very honest, I sucked at studies and my parents knew that very well. I remember spending most of my time with a box of chalk and slate gifted to me by my father. Like every other child, I also loved to sketch my favourite cartoons. I usually sketched these animated characters on the back pages of all my notebooks and also my classmates’ notebooks. It made me known amongst my seniors for my sketches.

That’s the only thing I was good at which I followed blindly. Honing my craft came from lots of practice. I draw almost every day. I also follow and study other artists’ work. Reading or watching their interviews, where they describe their work processes and the likes, helped me a lot to grow as an artist over the years. I try to open my eyes and ears to absorb everything.

Q. Could you take us through your process of how you envision a character and then execute it practically?

Ritaban Das: Being a Character Designer, most of my work is very much character-driven, blended with humour and very graphical too. I always try to convey some sort of story through every character or Illustration I make. I like to play with various shapes and silhouettes and usually keep things simple.

The character design process is, in a way, a combination of different things. I ask myself ‘Who am I drawing? What is his/her personality?’ I sometimes look at influential artists’ work to get some ideas or even start from a drawing I like and translate it into my style. Then, trying to forget those influences, I often start from scratch with a basic shape such as the face as it determines the rest of the character for me, then the body (this can be a circle, oval or even a pear shape – it all depends on the personality of the character I want to draw).

Q. Could you please elaborate on your current pursuit of higher studies and how you came to choose Canada for it?

Ritaban: I completed my studies at Humber College in 3D modelling & VFX and Graphic Design and got a job in an animation studio called House of Cool as a Story artist. I’m working on a very exciting project which will probably start airing next year.

I’ve always been well aware of the Canadian animation industry from the beginning and the kind of projects they do. I worked on a bunch of Canadian animation projects back in India.

We used to do a lot of outsourcing for studios here like Big Jump and Brown Bag Films. Canada’s animation industry always attracted me in terms of work culture, the kind of content they nurture, and the quality they produce, so I want to be a part of it.

“Whether you’re working on a commercial TV spot, web video or film, storyboards are an effective way to quickly tell a story. “

Q. What about the world of animation draws you towards it?

Ritaban: Animation is important because it enables us to tell stories and communicate emotions and ideas in a unique, easy-to-perceive way that both children and adults can understand. Animation has helped connect people throughout the world in a way that sometimes writing and live-action films cannot.

Today, anyone can pick up a drawing tablet and show their ideas to the world. Drawn figures can be funny, sad or serious. It can have a playful, less intimidating feel to it to make the viewer feel more comfortable. Often, it has simply served as a way to make a heart-warming story that makes you think.

Through live-action movies, people can form biases based on the appearance and real-life personality of an actor playing a character. But as an animated character, the character feels like their own being.

Q. What would you say are the most challenging aspects of working in the animation world and how do you tackle them?

Ritaban: Every project is challenging in different ways. The challenging ones are the projects where clients don’t have a clear understanding of their audience and outcome, goals or don’t have an investment or hierarchy for arriving at a consensus on feedback. The most challenging projects always boil down to size and scope and managing a team to produce the animation. Also, animating subject matter that I’m not interested in is challenging. But at the end of the day, we all survive because we all just love what we do.

Q. Could you take us through your process of creating a storyboard and highlight its most important aspects?

Ritaban: Whether you’re working on a commercial TV spot, web video, or film, storyboards are an effective way to quickly tell a story. A storyboard is a sequence of drawings that represent the shots planned for video production. It covers all of the major shots, angles and action of your film. The very first step is to read your script and visualise it as an audience would. As I go from scene to scene, I analyse the screenplay and decide how I want each scene to look.

A script breakdown tells you what storyboards you need to create. Then I start doing the rough thumbnails with all the necessary camera angles in Photoshop and chalk out the entire scene I’m planning to do. The important thing is to give anyone who looks at the storyboard a sense of space — where are the objects in relation to the space they’re standing in.

Once I finish locking the scene on thumbnail level, I pitch it to my art director or creative director and take their feedback. After passing the thumbnail phase, I start making the rough staging in Storyboard Pro and work on the required actions and move forward with the scene for the final animation. I might have to rework scenes over and over, combining different elements of the iterations until I finally have what the team is looking for.

Q. What ways do you apply to understand client needs better and thereby produce results that are in sync with them?

Ritaban Das : Whether I work in any studio or as a freelancer, I always listen to what clients need. Listening to your client will help you understand and retain the information you’re already receiving, even if it isn’t a formal meeting. You need to ask questions to identify needs and paraphrase what they say. It helps with clarification and to enhance your understanding of their needs.

Also, I bring new ideas to the table. I don’t hesitate to propose something other than what the client had in mind. You may have a better service in mind and, if nothing else, this again shows you’re listening and attempting to understand your client’s needs. Understanding client needs is one of the biggest challenges of any business but also one of the most important and rewarding tasks.

Q. Considering your range of work, could you please elaborate on significant projects and clients you’ve worked for?

Ritaban Das: Over the ten years of my career, I’ve worked on various national and international projects back in India for clients like Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network and Pogo. I’ve been part of the projects like “Camp WWE”, “F is for Family,” “Kuu Kuu Harajuku,” “Evan the Epic,” “Penn Zero: Part-time Hero,” “DC Superhero Girls,” “Cloudy with a chance of meatballs” (series), “Rhythm Warriors” (series-in production) and other numerous animated TV shows.

Q. According to you, in what direction should animation be exploring and progressing now?

Ritaban Das: Animation is an incredibly versatile medium that is widely used in many different forms today. Animated films are big business nowadays. Companies such as Disney have had enormous success producing animated children’s films for many years. Animated characters such as The Simpsons and The Flintstones have long been familiar visitors to our television screens. The future of animation looks to be on an interesting journey as the quality of films is becoming higher and higher. Most people would now aim for a 4k film. Also, they’ve been experimenting and coming up with new techniques of animation.

One of the interesting ones is Mix Media, a technique that Disney has been experimenting with for a few years is mixing CGI and traditional 2D animation. The idea is to create an animated film using CGI and then to draw over each frame to give it a hand-drawn quality. The computer gaming industry is also pushing the boundaries of what is possible with animation, leading to the creation of some extremely realistic game footage. Computer game animation has certainly come a long way from the 2D graphics of early arcade games.

Now computer game animators can build environments and objects that react to the player’s actions. The animation looks set to continue delighting audiences for many years to come. With animated films continuing to rise in the blockbuster charts, capturing hearts and imaginations, there is no sign of this genre coming to an end.

#Ritaban Das #Laetro #Art #arts #digital art #artist

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scrambledsaltyegg · 5 years ago

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Forgotten Dreams

There had been a lot of things I wanted to do since I was young but was held back by either lack of time, resources, or motivation. I had a lot of dreams and I even remember when I was still little, specifically in early grade school, that I dreamt of becoming a pilot. Either of the two of becoming a commercial plane pilot, or an air force - it was probably a symbolic dream of mine of being free.

As time passed on, I grew up surfing the internet and watching several flash animations. That inspired me to draw, even if I was not that good in art when I was a child. I watched flash animations like Eddsworld, Animation vs Animator, and other things I could find on Newgrounds, and they have inspired me to teach myself how to animate. I did learn, but I wasn’t able to finish anything because it was so hard to draw using a mouse. I wished for a graphic tablet back then but it was a luxury for such a young child. Several years later in, in highschool, I did manage to make one as a spoof for my friend who was allergic to pineapples. Back then, it was my dream to make funny sketches like Eddsworld’s

For several years, in late grade school and early highschool, I dropped the idea of making an animation because it was too time consuming. I instead just drew stuff digitally still with my mouse. I could say most were horrible but it was made by heart, and you could still see some of those on my Facebook timeline photos. During the years, I was also making comics on a notebook, and I also made some few comics that I’ve posted on my timeline.

During those times in elementary, I also learned how to create websites. Surfing the internet and visiting webs made me want to have my own one too. In fact, some of those I made are still up today. Introducing Stickman132, and Austinbook.

I also remember of being fascinated about A.I and chat bots at the time and so I tried to learn how to make one. I ended up creating a few one, but only using templates (Meaning: They have been already set up how to talk as a pre-set and I only just edited a few things on what to respond). It was too hard and complicated for me back then, but I still tried because it was really interesting. You could see my best one in the Austinbook website, named Meliza. I encoded the bot into flash and submitted it to newgrounds - and I went on with the name as Botmaster09.

Still fond of surfing the internet and watching random things I could find now during highschool, I followed Youtubers like NigaHiga, Pewdiepie, and such. But Youtubers like FreddieW really got me into filming and doing VFX. In highschool, I taught myself how to edit videos and make action video effects. I first filmed through my trusty iPhone 3GS back then, until I was able to get a hold of my sister’s digital camera. I had a lot of ideas for films and sketches back then but as I’ve said, I lacked resources and I was completely alone. I couldn’t make much sketches because I was the only actor. The only opportunity I had was when there were group projects that involved creating videos for the class. But I was also able to make a few videos that only starred myself - and it was only to allow myself to practice editing videos. The world’s greatest assassin, my Harlem shake video, and this. Those are few of the examples and you can find more in my Youtube channel, although there aren’t anything much more recently. It had been my dream though to become a content creator someday. I could’ve been a vlogger, a short comedy film maker or anything alike. I was also interested in making a short horror film but it was the most impossible to make alone. I wanted to provide stories and action to other people. It was also in those years I taught myself how to program and create simple computer games. I could’ve also made stories and conveyed it through those games but then again, I lacked time, motivation, and resources (you needed to create models, arts, music and such - I had several attempts but it always ended up incomplete).

In my last year of highschool, It was only the time I truly thought about my future career. Even though I could’ve pursued some arts degree, I was more worried about my future financial health. I was thinking of something that would lead me to financial freedom whilst still making the use of the skills I’ve learned over the years. I was business minded. I thought of Architecture as my first choice. I could draw a bit, and I do like creating and designing things. I thought maybe if I had enough money, I could use the skills I could learn being an architect to be able to set a real estate business. When my father heard of my first choice, he told me to just instead pursue Civil Engineering because it’s was just the same thing. I told myself, why not? I’m quite handy in mathematics anyway. But never have I been so wrong in my life.

For now, I’m trying to learn as much skills as I could for my career. I transferred from Civil Engineering to Construction Engineering Management due to some failure in a subject - but that failure had taught me big lesson in life. I’m now doing my best to learn everything that is necessary, so that I could achieve my dream in the future of becoming financially free.

Maybe one day, if I became rich and have achieved freedom, I might be able to do everything I was not able to do in the past.

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soulkiba · 7 years ago

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All the prime numbers!

2. what would you name your future kids?- Oh god, I have no idea. I never thought much about getting kids in the first place so I definetely wouldn’t be able to come up with names. Especially since I would probably adopt a kid anyways if I would actually do it someday.3. do you miss anyone?- Not really I guess. I would love to actually hang out more with my friends instead of just like, texting and skyping but thats usually really hard to do.Oh, but I definetely miss my two cats that disappeared about, I think one and a half year ago.5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?- I actually don’t think so. Like, my friends really often make me smile but sometimes I just don’t feel good enough for even that. I guess my Mom often makes me smile though. 7. what was your life like last year?- Pretty awful to be honest. The first half was ok, especially cause I made alot of good friends there but once I got into 11th grade, everything kinda cumbled down. I felt really left alone by my “friends” at school, I was overwhelmed with school in general and didn’t knew what to do with myself and the future so I really got into an somewhat depressive phase and stopped going to school.I’m definetely better now thanks to therapy and such though but last year was probably the hardest one for me so far.11. are you listening to music right now?- I actually was and forgot to turn it on again when I started answering the questions. But right now, I’m listening to Tokyo Demon Dance by E ve and I’m just so addicted to this song and the Music Video.13. how do you feel right now?- Alright, I guess. Tired. A bit anxious. Gotta draw some more Dads and then head to bed.17. opinion on insecurities.- Insecurities definetely are something challenging and something thats hard to deal with but I think it’s something important and just, kinda makes someone the person they are. I dunno, someone without insecurities just wouldn’t seem right to me. 19. have you ever been to New York?- Nope. Not planning to go there either. I dunno, the city seems really boring to me, honestly. Can’t really think of any places there that I would really want to visit, there are way more interesting cities in America.23. fear(s)- Biggest fear is probably the future in general. Or just kinda everything thats like, uncertain or where I’m not sure how it will go. Probably also being judged by others and going to places that I don’t know alone. 29. favourite film(s)- God, I really don’t watch alot of movies, like, I only watched about three movies in the last year. But Moana and The Magnificent Seven were really good.31. 3 random facts- 1. I have a McCree party hat on my desk 2. I have a folder on my PC which is called “eels” and it has 8 pictures of eels in it 3. I accidently set my drawing of a christmas tree on fire in like, third grade37. favourite actor/actress- Curse you, my non existent movie knowledge. I dunno, I only saw one movie with him but Ethan Hawke is pretty cool. Do Voice Actors count too? Because David Hayter and Matthew Mercer are amazing too.41. relationship status- Single though I hope that will change someday.43. favourite song ever- Just. Too many. Though there are only a few songs that never get old for me but I have the tendency to actually forget them. Daybreak and Frieflies is a wonderful song though. Most of the time, my favourite songs are just the ones I currently listen to alot so Sweet Adeline and Tokyo Demon Dance, which I already mentioned, are some that I can’t get out of my head at the moment.47. turn ons- oh boyDefinetely Facial Hair. Body hair in general to be honest. I don’t really like alot of muscles much. I don’t mind when someone is a bit softer, just makes them more adorable. But like, thats something different right? Like cuteness isn’t really a turn on? I think!? I dunno but I love someone whos considerate, sweet and a dork. Glasses too, sometimes. And I dunno, someone who’s just passionate about the things they like. Like, just a big nerd who loves something alot and could talk about it on and on. Combine that with the rest and thats perfect,So essentially it’s Hugo from Dream Daddy, I’m still really emotional about him ok53. 5 things that make me happy- 1. My friends 2. Fictional Characters that I really like 3. Corgies 4. When people write nice things under my art 5. Cute videos of usually underrated animals59. why i joined tumblr- I was on vacation with my Family about 3 or 4 years ago. We were in Berlin for a week and I found this art livestream of , I think they are called MxBones now but I can’t find their blog anymore. Anyways, that was the first time I learned about graphic tablets and like, fan art in general and it really inspired me to pick up drawing again, and soon after this blog started with some pencil beginner art with a bad phone camera that belongs into the deepest layer of hell. Sorry for any typos!

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whatevenis2016-blog · 8 years ago

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I just want my life to be different lol

I've been trying to find a new job bc I am so sick of my current job. It seems like my boss has no respect for me, bc it's a small business I don't even make minimum wage, I have to work every weekend and get a huge amount of shit if I want a weekend off (like once a year I ask), I'm a trainer so I always work with shitty new people and my boss doesn't even appreciate all the crap I have to deal with, it's food service which I obviously don't want to do forever or even much longer bc fuck that, I've worked there for almost 3 years which is way too long at a job like this. I want a different job that pays more, where I only have to work Monday through Friday, and work morning through early afternoon. At least until I go back to school in the fall. But like there only like 2 people left a work that I even like working with. So it's just a bunch of little thing that are all piling up until I hate work. And my coworker is also trying to find another job but she's afraid that if she gets a new it'll be worse than our current one. But idk maybe she feels that way but I don't think there could be a job that I like less than my current situation. Bc even if the job kind of suck, the pay will still be good, the hours will still be good. Ya know? I think it'll be fine, I just need out, I don't even care. I also hate school and don't want to go back. Like I'm regretting my whole school plan. Going straight from high school into college, first bad move. I should have taken a break bc now I feel like I'm dying. Going to a 4 years school instead of a 2 year, second bad move. I wish I had just gone to a 2 year school, got a degree in business and I would be done by now, like holy shit. I'm currently going to school for Studio Arts which I know is stupid. Who gets an art degree? Retards. That's who. But my "emphasis" is Graphic Design. So like obviously not as bad as like a painter, cuz then I would really be screwed in the employment department. But like the thing is, I don't really like Graphic Design? Okay maybe that's not right... It's more like I don't think I would like other people telling me how to make "art" for my job..? Cuz I wouldn't be able to make things I like, or do things my way bc it will be for someone else. Ya know? So I feel like I would either hate doing it, or my clients who hate my work. So like I'm feeling like I'm going to minor in Business like a smart person. I'm gonna go ham on that and then just finish my major up but really focus on my minor. Like I really just want to get a normal "desk job" tbh, work Monday through Friday. I feel like most people would hate that, or be their worst case scenario but I would be so down for that. Do the same thing everyday, have every afternoon and weekend off? Sounds great. And then in my spare time I can do all the things I actually enjoy. And I could possibly do some freelance graphic design in my spare time. But I really don't think I want to try and make a living out of that. Or I could try my hand in greeting cards and stuff cuz there's quite a bit of money in that market. I also want my appearance to be different. I don't like my current hair colour and I don't really have the time or money to do anything with it. I also chopped all my hair off over a year ago and I've finally decided to grow it out. But it's very short so it will take an insane amount of time to grow back. And it's at like an awkward length and I don't like the way it looks but the catch is, if I cut it to make it look better I would be losing length. In the long run in that worth it? Probs not. So I'm just kind of dealing with hair that I over all don't like. But once it gets to a decent length and I have money I'm gonna get extensions again. And my hair will look nice and I'll be happy. I've also gotten very lazy with my makeup which also makes me sad bc I don't feel that great about myself. I also want to buy all new cloths (bc I'm a girl and that's what we do) but I'm broke for 2 reasons, one bc I don't get payed enough at work and 2 bc my dad hasn't been working since he's had surgery. So I've been trying to save as much money as possible to we can, you know, live? And stay in our house? So in essence meaning not really having money for makeup or hair stuff or a lot of other stuff. Actually my work shoes are so fucked rn and people literally make fun of me but you know what? Fuck them. I don't have money to be buying a pear or shoes just for work? Plus I hate my job so that also adds to me not buying shoes for there. I also really want to get fake nails bc I love them. They look so nice and they make me feel good but again no money. Plus I fractured my finger a while ago and lost a finger nail. Sooo if I did get fake nails I would just be missing one nail lmao. When I finally have money one of the first things I'm going to do is buy a desktop computer. But it's gonna be crazy experience, I already know. Bc I want at least 2 monitors. One for graphic design (school and freelance) I think it will really help me get better bc I'll be able to work on stuff outside of school. It I'll be a touch screen and be adjustable. In addition to the monitor for graphic design I will need all the software. Then a second more standard monitor. I want both Windows and Mac on both monitors. I want to be able to game using both monitors. I want them to be able to use them individually and also simultaneously. Eventually I want to get all the stuff I need to live stream, so webcam, mics, headset, speakers. But like idk what I want to do first... Cuz I really want the set up to game.but I should probably get the graphic design stuff first... Or the other option would be to get the gaming monitor and cpu, then get both Windows and Mac and then get a drawing tablet thing instead of a touch screen monitor? Maybe probably. That would probably be the less expensive route.. and then just using external hard drives probably to keep my gaming and graphic design stuff separate. I also want to draw more and be better at drawing. But like I never have any motivation or inspiration to draw and or don't have time to do it. But maybe if I get the computer set up that I want, that will help with motivation. And if my work doesn't suck that much maybe I could sell my works online? That would be cool. I also want to get back into jewelry making and that's something else I could potentially sell which would be cool. Overall: No fucking idea. Like nothing about my life is how I want it to be except for my friends. I have awesome friends and a great boyfriend. But like I never get to see them bc of work and my dad stuff so even that sucks. But I have a plan. I know what I want, I just have to get there. I'll get there. Someday The thing is I know I can get to where I want eventually but like I don't want to be that old when it happens. Like it would suck to not be able to do all the fun things I want to do when I'm young bc I just can't bc of money or shitty jobs or school or so on. And like better late than never? Idk idk I don't know how I feel about all this. I just want to be happy

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