#some weirdo and some guy who's also a weirdo but is discreet about it

[mctwinkdom]

Peak Landoscar

[careful-wish]

I know that Eddie had to die bc plot reasons yada yada

But they could have done that in season 5. We had so many deaths deaths in 4 (tho Max did end up living). The stakes are higher in season 5 and having a beloved character die halfway through would have had such an emotional impact

But also Eddie and Argyle not being included in season 5 with the other older kids feel like a joke, especially Argyle.

Nancy is the only one of the older teens (now young adults) to have a real close friendship with someone (Barb). Could probably argue Eddie too bc of Gareth, Jeff, and that other guy in Hellfire but they're younger than him so Idk how long they've been friends or how close they actually are.

In s4, though it's through super unlikely circumstances, Eddie does develop friendships with Steve, Nancy, and Robin. Probably, he already has had some interaction with Robin and Jonathan in the past due to the fact all three were considered weirdos or freaks (Jonathan was The School Freak(tm)) but he had no interaction with Jonathan this season.

Jonathan after being apart from Nancy for a few months then meets Argyle and they become pretty close mates, weed aside. Jonathan finally has someone he can talk to and open up to, and you can tell Argyle genuinely does care for Jonathan and is a LITERAL ride-or-die for him.

Why, WHY did they take Eddie and Argyle away? Yeah, we get the monster-hunting trio back in s5 along with Robin and Vickie in the group, but why'd they take Argyle away? He is also wanted by the government and knows everything. We're just going back to Jonathan having no friends, Nancy really having to confront what happened to Barb, and only Steve having a best mate? Why does Steve get to keep his best friend and Jonathan doesn't?

Also, the group would have been a little bigger than the Party but the dynamics and just absolute chaos would have been amazing.

Steve realising he is absolutely outnumbered by nerds and that he is not the leader, that role goes to Nancy and her babygurl Jonathan.

Vickie being introduced in a group that has several very loud ppl (Steve, Argyle, Robin), joins them immediately and Jonathan goes insane bc the four chatter like kookaburras at three am.

Nancy insisting they need to be discreet and Argyle explaining that while yeah, having an all black van would be cool but bad guys have those too and they would blend in better with a pizza van bc "Who would question the pizza man, Wheeler?"

Eddie secretly having tons of respect for Jonathan and nearly falls over himself trying to make up for the fact he tried to push another guy at Jonathan's girlfriend. Also develops similar respect for Nancy and feels guilty after seeing how happy Nancy is with Jonathan, and also realising it was never his, Robin, Steve, or anyone else's decision what Nancy does or who she wants to be with, it's all her.

Vickie learning about everything but still not knowing the kids very well and fellow newcomer Argyle is like "Idk about the others but Little Byers and Wheelie-boy are good, and of course our amazing super-powered little friend"

Steve discreetly being a terrible wingman for Robin without accidentally outing her. She comes out to Nancy first, then Argyle on accident after they have a weed sesh ("You're good, Batman's sidekick, boobies are great"), and of course ends up with Vickie.

Mike being the one of the Party Vickie ends up bonding with the most, mainly so they can make fun of Steve together but also other reasons

Anyway, we were robbed of these seven chaos nerds being a group together.

And if Eddie were to die halfway through, the turmoil. Dies similar to s4, Dustin is there, but it not only affects Dustin and Hellfire, but the other six he'd started becoming close with.

[xiao-cafe]

getting to know you — gap moe!reader edition

includes: childe, diluc, kaeya and zhongli

this was really fun to write!! i might actually make a series out of this with the different personality types. oh and i added zhongli because how could i not lol

notes: gap moe means someone whose character contradicts their appearance and it’s considered attractive!

he’s weird. he likes that you act cold towards him and that you’re almost always frowning when you spot him.

any normal person would’ve either been intimidated by you or even start to hate you but not him.

Childe enjoys pestering you during his free time and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t find the harbinger a little bit charming after all the times he spent trying to get you to smile

after some time you had begun to let your guard down and even come to consider this weirdo as your friend

on a particular day, Childe just happened to find you down at the harbour playing with a few cats and it shocked him to see that you were smiling so sweetly while petting the cats

he was a little jealous of the cats

after much consideration, he decided to approach you and though you were surprised to see him, it didn’t bother you as much as you thought it would when he caught you off-guard and not being your ‘usual’ self

“Do you like cats?” He asked.

to which you reply with a nod and gesture for him to hold out his palm which Childe easily complies to

you drop a cat treat into his hand and give him cute smile before turning back to the cats

Childe could’ve sworn his heart skipped a beat when you smiled at him. your behaviour was so different to what he was used to but he was glad that he managed to melt your icy exterior and witness first hand the kind and gentle soul that you were.

Diluc liked your attitude. for a no-nonsense type of guy like him who disliked small talk, your cool attitude was something that he found to be appealing.

in fact, it was safe to say the both of you had rather similar personalities and Diluc was just getting a little bit curious about the kind of person you were

he’d be the one to strike up a conversation with you first.

needless to say, it was awkward.

Diluc deeply regrets the first conversation the both of you had as he wasn’t able to carry the conversation well with your rather emotionless responses.

but because of his effort, you were pretty moved and decided to start greeting him whenever you saw him.

somehow, the Diluc who disliked small talk began to engage in small talk with you and the both of you managed to engage in discussions over the tiniest of things like what you had for dinner last night or how was his day

such friendship eventually grew into something more as you became less cold and more emotive whenever you spoke to him

it charmed him to see you suddenly fuss over him at times when it gets colder due to the strong winds, and when you are reminded that he has Pyro vision you blush so much that your face is almost as red as his hair.

little by little, Diluc started to look forward to your visits to the tavern and would let you care for him in your own discreet way

he would pretend not to notice the perfectly harvested sunsettias you leave on the counter right after you remind him to get his daily vitamin intake (he always eats them after you leave)

it was also endearing to him to see you order grape juice with a straight face despite kaeya’s complaints from beside you, harping about how unromantic it was.

“I like grape juice.” You said, looking over directly at Kaeya as you took a long sip from your mug.

Diluc had a hard time keeping a straight face when you defended his favourite drink and shut Kaeya up so easily.

to Kaeya, you were a mystery. unlike others, you didn’t fall for any of his charms and remained a good distance from him.

your cold and intimidating attitude didn’t faze him at all but he was still willing to talk to you and get to know you.

just like Childe, Kaeya slowly won you over by talking pestering you on a regular basis

he’d try to buy you food and even a few drinks just to become closer to you and it actually made him happy to see you accept the food he bought willingly

it became a routine for him to look for you during any of the mealtimes and ask you out for a meal. sometimes he’d even drop by during the late afternoons to give you a snack.

during those times Kaeya would share with you about his day and even prompt you to share your thoughts which thanks to his help, you had become better at communicating and no longer scared people off

you were grateful to Kaeya for helping you to make new friends as more people began to understand you and lesser people found you to be a scary person.

so when you surprised Kaeya one day with his favourite food and favourite drink just to thank him for helping you gain some friends, Kaeya felt his heart start to pound as he saw you acting unusually

you were blushing and fidding with the hem of your sleeve shyly. and when you beckoned for him to lean down and kissed him on the cheek he stopped breathing

the man probably regained his senses when you reverted back to your usual self, the only trace of what happened previously was your red cheeks.

to be honest, he didn’t think that you were interested in him or what he had to say at all

you were simply a work partner of his at Wangsheng funeral parlour and he did not cross the boundary of being anything other than coworkers with you

your coldness had even let him to believe that you hated him.

as you accompanied him on his work trips, many would make comments about how you looked scary and to which Zhongli sincerely defended you every time

“Please don’t insult my partner, they’re a hard worker.”

you greatly appreciated his words and from then on you tried your best to be of help to him and slowly the two of you forged a friendship

so when it came down to others insulting Zhongli, you certainly did not hold back

on a particular work trip, a few businessmen had conspired together to humiliate Zhongli and as soon as you caught wind of what was happening you stepped in

with the death glares you threw in the direction of the businessmen, no one dared to utter a word and you quickly brought an end to their scheme.

as soon as the meeting was adjourned, you pulled Zhongli aside just to check on him.

He was surprised to see you change so drastically and a blush started to creep onto his face as you vowed to protect his honour again if the need arose.

you even prepared some comfort snacks for him in case he had felt dejected by the harsh words said to him before.

no doubt your soft side was something he hadn’t expected and he was glad to be able to be on the receiving end of your sweet kindness

end.

[mauesartetc]

Thoughts on Helluva Boss Ep7

Pros:

The animation and voice acting are solid, as usual. If there were any flubs, I didn’t notice them.

Moxxie and Millie are wholesome relationship goals.

I chuckled at the bit where Fizz was creeped out by the fan who had four of his sex bots.

Asmodeus’ song was actually… Good? Usually Helluva songs are just “meh” but this one had a catchy tune, memorable lyrics, and great vocals. And, y’know, it advanced the plot rather than being slapped on out of nowhere because Viv needs a song in every episode for some reason.

Edit: Forgot to include this in the initial post, but it’s worth mentioning. This, to me, was the first time Helluva Boss felt like a show made for adults. Not because of the environment’s sexual nature or the sad ending, but because of Moxxie’s song to Millie. The message in the lyrics is that they can still be perfectly fulfilled with a vanilla sex life, and they don’t care what anyone else thinks of them. And we in the audience shouldn’t feel pressured to do kinky stuff we aren’t comfortable with just to be “cool” or perceived as adventurous. We should have whatever kind of sex makes us happy, if we even want it at all. Prioritizing love over lust doesn’t make you boring. It just makes you you. This is a viewpoint we rarely see explored in media, and as a romantic ace, I appreciated seeing it here.

Cons:

Why is this episode a two-parter? It doesn’t end on a cliffhanger or a “to be continued” or anything; it functions fine as a standalone episode. Just an odd choice.

Bit of a nitpick, but the thumbnail image for this one feels boring and lazy compared to other episodes. While the others prominently feature the characters and hint at the shenanigans to come, this one consists of only Asmodeus’ sigil and the number 7. I get the desire to avoid spoilers, but... If you’ve seen the preview images, there really isn’t much to spoil. 

God, Blitzo’s such a creep. What does he find so interesting about Moxxie and Millie’s relationship that makes him want to stalk them? Stop perving out on your employees and get your own life, ya fuckin’ weirdo. Friendly reminder that the writing wants us to root for this guy… Yeah.

 Most of the main characters are taking Stupid Pills this episode. First offender: Moxxie. He makes a dinner reservation in the LUST ring, then makes a big romantic gesture after he and Millie get there. Was he not aware that the culture in that area frowns upon such displays? Did he not do his research? Aren’t there any other restaurants he and Millie could have gone to for their anniversary?

Second offender: Blitzo, for opening his dumbass mouth to attract attention to himself, despite knowing there were people in the club he didn’t want to engage with. Sure, you could make the argument he was just defending Moxxie and Millie, but he could’ve privately told them their relationship was just fine the way it was after they left the club. As seen here and in Murder Family, this twit just doesn’t know when to keep his gob shut. He’s such a liability I’m surprised he hasn’t gotten himself and all his employees killed yet.

Final offender: Stolas, for going to a couples-only club with an imp despite knowing it’d hurt his reputation. Seriously, did he think no one would notice a fucking prince of Hell sitting a few tables over? Couldn’t he have disguised himself, or Blitzo, or both? He didn’t even try to be discreet, which I guess is par for the course at this point, but still.

Speaking of Stolas, WOW, poor baby, huh? He cheated on his wife and tossed his daughter aside like she was nothing, and now they’re gone and he’s wonewy. Excuse me while I pull out the world’s smallest violin. Imagine being so shortsighted that you weren’t prepared to handle the risks of your prolonged infidelity. I guess he’s so spoiled he’s not used to his actions having consequences, but then the writing never gave him any until now.

Also, kinda random, but why does Stolas feel the need to eat cereal? I assume he’s never learned how to cook for himself since he always had chefs to do it, but did all the help just quit when Stella left? Never explained.

How did Verosika and Vortex escape the human cops? Never explained. Edit: I actually forgot Verosika suggested she and her crew “suck a lot of pig dick” to get out of that jam at the end of Ep3, so that was my bad, y’all. It was a long time ago and I’ve never felt compelled to re-watch any of these in full. 

I hate that we never got to see Stella move out. She’s never had a chance to calmly express her thoughts on her husband’s cheating, and it would’ve been so satisfying to hear her final, cutting words to him before she left. Really, he’s earned it. But the show wants to paint her as a one-dimensional villain who somehow caused Stolas to cheat on her, rather than a woman in pain from being betrayed after years of marriage. She’s one of multiple characters who deserve so much better.

While we’re on the topic of Stella, if she was free to leave this entire goddamn time, why the fuck would she hire a hit man to kill her husband. Is she after his life insurance or some shit? Again, never explained. Follow-up question, will this plot thread and the agency plot thread be resolved in the season finale? Normally I’d assume so, but this series has taught me to lower my expectations.

Oh, and um, Stolas is in love with Blitzo now, I guess. Y’know, despite treating him like an object in every other episode. And there’s no buildup to this whatsoever, because that’s how people work, right?? Once again, switch flipped. I have no idea what he even sees in Blitzo; he has zero redeeming qualities. Stolas, even a horse’s ass like you can do better than this.

Back to Ozzie���s: If the writers want to sell us on the idea that imps are second-class citizens, why are they allowed in this upscale club? We know it’s taboo for royalty to have a relationship with an imp, but other than that, the imp characters haven’t experienced any discriminatory obstacles in the way of their business or their everyday lives. If imps weren’t allowed in Ozzie’s but Moxxie and Millie really wanted to go anyway, they could just disguise themselves as succubi or something. Or, Ozzie’s could be a satire of the Cotton Club, meaning imps can be employees and performers, but not customers. The performance option would allow Moxxie to sing his love song to Millie, and they could eat a nice meal backstage with help from the kitchen staff. It’s much more compelling when characters have to fight for what they want rather than getting everything handed to them, and it makes them all the more endearing. Exploring imps’ designation in Hell’s social hierarchy would flesh out the world and the episode, as well.

Why is there no food on anyone’s tables? Damn, the service at this fancy, fully-booked club really sucks. Sad to see Moxxie and Millie go hungry on their big day. :( 

Asmodeus’ design is a tad oversimplified. Yes, I know, streamlined character designs are more efficient to animate. But if you showed this character to someone who’s familiar with demonic lore but hasn’t seen the show, would they know who he was based on? Would they even notice his extra two... “heads”? Not sure why the feathers are here, either. I’m going to need another redesign post, aren’t I.

I know the ending wants us to feel sorry for Blitzo, and yeah, it sucks that he feels neglected and unloved, and maybe unworthy of love. But it’s hard to sympathize with a character who’s been such a dick for the entire season. If he wants love and approval so badly, why does he always berate Moxxie (no, it’s not the same as tough love, and he never actually apologized for it, either)? Why does he stalk him and his wife? Why did he adopt Loona against her will? Did he think she’d just... learn to love him over time? And NONE of these relationships have evolved over the season. Blitzo’s stayed at square fucking one the whole time. How am I supposed to feel bad for a character who treats everyone around him like garbage and who’s done jack shit to improve himself? This episode’s trying SO hard to be Bojack Horseman without the proper buildup or character development required.

All I can say is, I hope the writing in the finale finds a way to make a purse out of a pig’s ear, because damn, it’ll have seven episodes’ worth of heavy lifting to do.

[angelamelamela]

"Verbal Typo"

(A day in the life of komaeda)

Nagito Komaeda

warning: lazy, sexual innuendos, implied sexy time, teasing, mild cursing, just- sexual tension actually, I think this should count as lime now since I kinda got carried awaysbd mfkdnfnf READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION, exhibitionism if you squint, Nagi is a little bit ooc

pairings: Nagito Komaeda x GN! Reader(I don't mention any gender specific things, though it is slightly leaning more to the feminine side if you squint)

You slide into the entrance of the hotel restaurant, cheerfully saying hi to everyone as usual as they wonder how the hell you were always energetic so early in the morning.

The truth is, you were always just excited to see Nagito and his pretty face.

You were into him, that much is very obvious. Everybody and their grandma knew of your crush towards the boy since you don't exactly even try to hide it. Though the dude in question had too much self loathing to truly believe your feelings.

But even then, his reactions to your never ending teasing and flirting was quite adorable. His usually calm and collected persona shifting in the tiniest blush whenever you pull another one of your pick up lines.

And if ever he feels like he's in a cocky mood, he might even flirt back as well.

Today, you were feeling quite bolder than usual, and also quite....needy. If you get what I'm saying.

And so the moment you finished greeting everyone with a bright smile, your eyes immediately searched for the marshmallow-head. Spotting him sitting across Hajime and a couple other people that you didn't really pay attention to since you were in tunnel vision to get to Komaeda.

You walked over to him with a small skip on your step as he smiles after seeing your frame walk into the room. Such a charming smile

You stood before Nagito, looking down at his seated form for a couple of seconds in a slight moment of hesitation, before you plopped yourself down onto his lap.

His face almost instantly exploded in red, but he tries to play it off by letting out a forced cough and leaning down to whisper next to your ear,

"W-what are you doing?" He asked, letting out a small nervous laugh.

"I needed a place to sit while waiting for the food, hehe" You replied, shifting around on his lap to get comfortable. Though he immediately puts his hands on your hips to stop you.

"But there are plenty more places to sit-"

"They're not as comfy as you." You simply stated. Making the boy's cheeks blossom in red even further.

The other people in the restaurant gave the both of you weird looks, some snickering with teasing eyes while some are looking at you as if you had three heads just for sitting on the class weirdo's lap.

"Jesus, [y/n] is whoring around again. Not just to anyone, but to that weirdo? Seriously?" Hiyoko sneered, pretending to gag. But you simply stick your tongue out at her.

Nagito tried his best to shift his attention back to his conversation with Hajime and the others, while you lean forward and chat with Chiaki who was sitting across from you and playing her game. She let you borrow the other controller of her switch as the both of you start playing whatever.

You don't even notice but you have begun to start shifting about once again when the game started to get more intense, where you were quickly losing. Which was not surprising. You were playing with the ultimate gamer after all.

But as much as you were enjoying the game, Nagito was enjoying even more. But for a different reason entirely.

Your shifting around and slight bouncing in excitement on his lap kinda made something else get excited. And so he had to stop you before he ended up enjoying things too much.

The hands he placed on your hips earlier slowly snaked around your waist, and so now he was holding you against him, holding you in place. It was your turn to blush a bright red.

You subconsciously shut your legs and rub your thighs closely together when you felt his breathe hit the back of your neck as he whispers, almost huskily.

"Can you please stop moving around so much?"

You turn to him, acting all confused. "Hm? Why not?"

"I-it is quite distracting..."

"I'm sorry, I don't really understand what you're getting at Nagi...." You state in the best 'innocent' voice you could muster.

You suddenly leaned back into his chest, briefly raising your hips up only to grind it back down onto the poor boy underneath you. Though you tried your best to keep it discreet and unnoticeable to your classmates.

He choked back a groan, releasing a small gasp instead as he desperately tries to stop you from moving anymore. But that doesn't really stop you since your hips continue to grind down on him in the most subtle way that your classmates won't see you slightly shifting up and down on his lap, but enough that he can still feel your ass teasing him so much that it hurts.

You can barely focus on the game anymore due to Komaeda's warm breathe down your back, his forehead was now leaned against your shoulder as he continued to breathe heavily due to your next level teasing.

"Fuck.." He breathed out, his forehead coated with a thin sheen of sweat. "Alright, I can't deal with this shit anymore"

He moves your body by hooking his arms under your legs and on your back and moving you to the seat next to him gently. Consciously pulling his shirt down to cover more of his pants as he stood up, a heavy blush settled upon his face.

"I-I'm gonna go rest in my room, I'm kinda not feeling well" He reasons out to the rest of the group who was kind of confused as to why he stood up so suddenly.

They all nodded, oblivious as ever.

Nagito leaned down to whisper something to you.

"Meet me at my cottage after 10 minutes. If you're not there by then, I will personally bend you over and take you in front of everyone in this room."

You blushed impossibly harder at his words, a rush of excitement shooting down your spine as you nodded eagerly.

He put his mask of usual indifference back on his face, giving you a smile as if he didn't just say something non-family friendly five seconds ago. He saunters out of the hotel restaurant, leaving you a hot and flustered mess in front of the dining table at 8 in the morning.

After 10 minutes, you stayed true to your word and stood up to start making your way to Nagito's cottage.

"Sorry guys, I gotta go. I'm gonna get laid"

Everybody at the table spit out the food and drinks they had inside their mouths at the moment. You mentally swung a bat to your head as you scramble.

"I MEANT THAT I'M GOING TO GET LATE, OK BYE-"

[soukokuwu]

i’ve seen you’re caught up in the manga so i was wondering if i could request some hcs for the HD boys (tachihara, tecchou and jouno) with a crush on a ADA girl?? please? it’s okay if you don’t write for them tho ! pd: i’m in love w your writings <3

➤ hi, yes i am, and i do!! ^.^ this my first try with them, i hope you like these anony, and tysm 🥺 i’m in love with you all <3

➤ characters: tachihara, tecchou, jouno

CRUSHING ON AN ADA GIRL.

He’s probably seen you several times when he was undercover with the port mafia. So you’ve seen him solve problems with sheer brute force and violence. (Didn’t have too nice of an opinion on him there.) And you can hold your ground, apparently. You’re strong and somewhat similar to him — you value orders and care deeply for your comrades. You’ve saved your colleagues’ lives more than once, and once you catch his eye, it’s hard for him to turn away.

Being part of the port mafia had its perks, then, seeing as how he can fit himself in missions that involved interacting with the ADA (always wonders if you’re going to be there too), though most of what he’s sent to do are violent work. It doesn’t allow for much normal interactions, seeing as the Black Lizard usually does the dirty work — but Tachihara tries his best not to hurt you. He even tries to make it so that you don’t get hurt by his other comrades.

When he does catch you outside, by chance, he doesn’t show the usual disdain he usually does at your other agency members. No, with you, he tries to talk intellectually — to attract your attention, your fancy, to find something in common with you. He can surprisingly hold a conversation well. He has to try his best not to let out he’s really a hunting dog member, though. To see your disdain for the Port Mafia is enough to make him feel like wanting to tell you his real identity. He doesn’t though — orders are absolute. And he doesn’t make a move yet, he knows it’ll be too complicated if he jumps the gun.

When he finally reveals his real identity, he’ll try talking to you — to apologise for having deceived you as well as part of his mission. To be on a more similar side of the law will be much easier for him, so he thinks there’s a higher likelihood that things will work out now, and he’ll pull out all the stops. You will be the only one that could ever make him question orders, especially if it affects you.

He has a lot of empathy for others, and so that will likely be the thing about you that catches his attention. When he sees you helping others even if you don’t have to, when he sees you initiating to help him add the sugar to his rice without even flinching. (So kind in nature, not wanting him to feel like a weirdo for his food preferences.) You’re kind, and eccentric in your own way, and so he’s taken by you.

He won’t realise he is attracted to you at first, he just knows he is more interested in you than anyone else, because it doesn’t happen to him too often. He is usually more fixated on his food than anything else. But when he’s around you he finds that he wants to share his weird food combinations with you. And after a while he finds out that you’re actually pretty weirded out by it, but he appreciates you trying it regardless. And continues to do so. (Secretly trying to find a weird combination you do like so you guys have something in common.)

Is the type to send you gifts while you’re at work with sweet notes to encourage you of the day ahead. Doesn’t actually realise this is considered as what’s called “courting” you, but he does it all the time anyway (nobody in the hunting dogs tells him because they find it entertaining how much he’s trying while at the same time being totally oblivious to his own intentions).

Will defend you whenever you’re in trouble. If he can help it. He’ll try to be there whenever you have to go out on a dangerous case, asking you where you are and what you’re doing — a guise to keep watch nearby if he has nothing on. He can’t help it, he worries. Also offers to teach you combat skills just so he can be more at ease if he can’t be around to help you.

When he realises how attracted he really is to you — he’ll do everything he can to make you swoon. Think: trying to find out everything you like, from food preferences to gestures, and then executing surprises just so you’ll get the hint without him having to explicitly say it. (Although you’re not as dense as he is and probably already knew his feelings before the man himself.) Is also the most considerate gentleman ever — he’ll help you do anything you need if he knows how. Especially heavy work.

He’s blind, but not in love. No, he judges you thoroughly, carefully. He is very able to discern your changes in mood to every situation and he fully uses that to his advantage one hundred percent. He loves it when you’re calm and composed just like he is all the time — but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like to fluster you, make you all nervous and embarrassed. It’s how he knows he has an effect on you, who is usually as stoic as he.

Loves to tease you when you deny you feel anything for him. He can tell you’re lying of course, the thrumming of your heartbeat so loud in his ears. He’s a smooth talker, so you can bet you’ll lose to him in flirting and word plays. Which is exactly how he shows he likes you. Doesn’t flirt with anyone else at all simply because they don’t measure up to you.

Always tries to avoid you when he’s working, though. He knows you’re more emphatic to everyone in general, preferring not to hurt anyone if it can be helped. You know he’s more ruthless than you expected, but he can just not let you see how cruel he can be, if only in a bid to get you to give him a chance. Generally, if you’re around, he tends to keep his harsh remarks to himself, and tries not to threaten anyone who gets in his way. Will still be ruthless but in a more discreet way.

Will most likely have arguments with you even before you get together, but if he likes you enough, he’ll put his pride down and be the one to apologise, given that it most likely is his fault in the first place, being the more aggressive and sharp-tongued of you two. It’ll come slowly, though, with a lot of space between you two when you do argue, but he’ll come through, eventually.

With him he’ll take you to all the best places he knows for dates — the best restaurants with the best service, watching movies in the most luxurious cinema halls, things like that. (Most of it is high-end.) Even with gifts — he gets you the best brands in the market. Sometimes he’ll send you a whole outfit as a present (think expensive dresses, heels, even a purse and jewellery) and asks you to wear it for your upcoming date. He knows that you don’t care much for luxury brands but he just wants to gift you with the best and he’ll continue doing so despite you telling him not to ‘waste money’.

[smilingleoo]

Bts reaction- thinking that your boobs are fake

Request: Hi i know its weird but can i have a preference or imagine where they think your boobs are fake haha ily thankss

Warnings: smutty scenes I guess (?

Author´s Note: Hey! It´s not weird at all anon, enjoy!!!!!

-------

RM (Kim Namjoon)

He wouldn't deny that he had stared at your boobs so as to decipher if they were real or not.

When he first met you, he thought you were the sexiest woman on earth. He declared to the boys he found you absolutely stunning and even surreal. However, he just had one question; where you attributes natural? Not that he minded, of course. He was a man who believed that people could do what they felt like but he was also a curious boy. Therefore, when you had finally accepted to be his girlfriend, he finally asked you.

“No, baby”-you laughed-” They are 100% real”

Jin (Kim Seokjin)

Like Namjoon, he would stare (who wouldn´t tho)

Being his funny, sassy self, he would sometimes blurt out things he wasn´t meant to. Not that he minded but he could appear to be rude to other people, even more to the ones who he had recently met, Well, a something similar had happened while talking with you. Bangtan had decided to go on vacation to a beautiful hotel. You, fortunately, worked there and, since day one, Seokjin couldn´t seem to take his eyes off of you. Therefore, one day he decided to approach the bar you had been placed in and made sure to start a small talk with. However, his stupid mouth cracked a dad joke about surgeries and esthetic. He was quick to mentally blame himself for being so utterly disrespectful since he thought that your boobs were fake. Yet he was relieved to hear that he hadn´t been rude at all.

“ That was a good one”-you giggled-” Imagine if a had gotten a surgery, you would have been so screwed”

That´s when he fell hard for you.

Suga (Min Yoongi)

Surprise Yoongi would suddenly appear.

Don´t get him wrong, he would actually really like them. His eyes would unintentionally stagger their way down to your breast, debating whether they were real or not. Like Namjoon, he wouldn´t really care but it was just a question that seemed to pop in his mind whenever he stared at you for too long. Everyone knew that Yoongi was an extremely respectful and silent man, opting most of the time to save his opinions to himself. However, he had to plaster his attraction towards you somewhere. Just like he portrayed his anger and frustration on Cyphers, he decided to write a short rap dedicated you your outstanding beauty. However, he didn´t listen to you entering his studio and heard a particular line that made you laugh.

“ If you´re so curious, min Yoongi”-he stopped embarrassed-” You should´ve asked. No, they are actually pretty natural”

Jhope (Jung Hoseok)

Okay, he couldn´t concentrate if he had you dancing so near him.

Not because he didn´t like it but for the fact that his mind always seemed too keen on gazing your boobs rather than follow the choreography. They were just so perfect he couldn´t even get a hold on himself-” Maybe we should for today”-you suggested and everyone agreed. Nevertheless, when all the boys had lefts but Hoseok you decided to ask him if he wanted to review some part of the dance. He, of course, couldn´t deny such an offer, so you spent most of the afternoon dancing and laughing in the practice. Little did Hobi know that in one specific move his hand would accidentally land on your breast. You gasped and retreated immediately. Hoseok apologized while bowing respectfully but you dismissed him with a joke.

Now Hoseok knew they were actually incredibly natural.

Jimin (Park Jimin)

Shy boy.

He was scrolling through his secret instagram account and suddenly came across (because he was not stalking you or that´s what he said) an old photo you had posted. Of course, he made a screenshot of it and analyzed every detail with outstanding precision. His eyes rambled across your stunning body until they found his source of confusion. Your boobs were the most mysterious yet gorgeous things he had the pleasure to appreciate. He had alway been curious about their whereabouts because, really, they couldn´t be real. Having nothing to lose, he decided to text you with a fake account and ask you about it. He would have done so face-to-face but both of you didn´t have that much trust yet.

Are your boobs fake?

No, lol. Why?

*Surprised mochi has enetered the chat*

V (Kim Taehyung)

Kim Taehyung was extremely touchy since you started dating him.

His hadns would wander along your legs, waist and neck every time they could. Even sometimes, when he was busy with something else, he would unconsciously drag his palm along your thigh. However, his favorite part to explore were your boobs. Of course he didn´t do it as frequently as with more discreet parts, but he made sure to massage them once in a while through cuddling. He always had asked hismelf if such perfect breast existed naturally. He had always wanted to ask you yet, most of the time, he forgot. 

“ Baby, why do you like feeling my boobs so much?”-you would as in the middle of a movie.

“ I want to decipher if they´re fake or not”

“ You could just ask me, you weirdo”-you sighed giggling-” Of course they´re not fake!”

Jungkook (Jeon Jungkook)

I deeply think that Jungkook wouldn´t mind asking you at all.

He would be shy at the start of your relationship but would soon warm up. I mean, he is so comfortable around people he knows or has already met. Therefore, after an year of being together he woudn´t mind at all. His doubt would pop in his mind during a conversation with his Hyungs about you. They all concluded that you were extremely pretty and that Jungkook was a lucky guy yet Jimin, who knows that Jungkook wouldn´t get mad since he kbew that you only loved him, asked-” Are her breast like...made?”

Jungkooks frown made it clear that he had no clue. Thus, later that day, he waited for you to stroll out of the bathroom to ask you-” Babe, are your boob natural?”

“ Yes”

“ Cool”-he nodded-” Let me grope them just to be sure”

“ Jungkook!”

[sunsetinmyvein]

Some Kind of Disaster

Hot damn, you were right, this was fun to write. Thanks for the suggestion from the prompt list @robinrunsfiction​. And! My first Alex fic. Whatta guy. 

(the goats are not relevant, but I just love this man and his goats. This however, IS relevant)

Being woken up at three in the morning by mysterious sounds in your backyard was never a great thing. The thought that someone was breaking into my house was in the forefront of my mind as I peeked through the blinds, my heart racing as I tried to be discreet in case whoever it was saw me. What if someone was trying to break in? What was I going to do then? Where was my phone? Did I have time to call the cops? But my worries were quickly turned into confusion because there, stood in my backyard, was a random guy, patting my dog. I watched him for a solid minute trying to work out what he was doing. Judging by the squashed shrub in the corner, it looked like he had hopped the fence for whatever reason. He was wearing a hoodie, to hide his face, possibly? So maybe he was trying to break in? But he was making no moves towards any windows or doors..? He just seemed entirely infatuated by Jake. This was weird. This was not at all how I expected my Saturday night to go. After a few more minutes passed and this guy didn’t seem to have any malicious intent, I made my way downstairs to work out what the fuck was going on.  

 I stepped out onto the back lawn, keeping close to the door in case I needed to make a break for it and lock this guy out. But he didn’t even seem to notice me, I could just hear him making weird noises at Jake. Who, for the record, was being an awful guard dog. Apparently, he was a fucking pushover as soon as someone gave him ear scratches.

“What the hell are you doing?” I called out, finally getting this man’s attention. He looked up at me in surprise, his blonde fringe falling into his eyes before giving me a goofy smile.

“I love golden retrievers.” Was the answer that tumbled out of his mouth.

“I can see that.” I nodded with a frown.

“Dogs are so great.” He mumbled as he kneeled down in front of Jake, who was more than happy to keep receiving this attention.

“Why are you in my backyard?” I asked, taking a few apprehensive steps forward.

“What’s its name?” He questioned, opting to completely ignore me.

“Jake.” I answered.

  For all intents and purposes, this guy seemed pretty innocent in his intentions as he now repeatedly said my dog’s name (who just wagged his tail every time). The closer I got to him, the more I saw his slight wobble as he was trying to keep his balance. Ah. He was drunk. This suddenly made much more sense.

“Dude,” I started, placing a hand tentatively down on his shoulder. He looked up at me, with a doe-eyed look in his brown eyes. “why are you in my backyard?” I asked again in a softer voice.

“I-” He hiccupped quietly, “I was trying to take a shortcut and I think I got lost.” He frowned, scratching at his beard as he seemed to be racking his brain for an explanation.

“Shortcut to where?”

“Uh, my place.” He answered. “Or maybe an uber. Or a bus.” He continued, then seemed to get distracted as Jake shoved his nose back into his hand.

“Do you want me to call you a taxi?” I offered.

“Do you have to?” He pouted. “I wanna keep patting this guy.” He whined as he wrapped an arm around Jake’s shoulder and pressed their heads together.

  I had to admit, the sight was pretty adorable. Jake seemed incredibly stoked about this turn of events, and was staring up at me with a complete look of contentment. This random drunken man was also looking pretty cute with his face pressed up against my dog’s. I supposed this situation could’ve been much worse. There were a lot more awful things than having an attractive guy in your backyard fawning over your dog. I couldn’t help but chuckle at the absurdity of the situation.

“You have the cutest smile I’ve ever seen.” The guy slurred as he turned back to Jake.

“Are you talking to me or the dog?” I asked in amusement.

“You.” He answered instantly.

“Are you flirting with me?” I laughed. “While trespassing in my backyard?”

“Maybe.” He shrugged. “Is it working?” He asked with what I assume was an attempt at a charming smile, but it just looked a bit dopey.

“Not really, hate to break it to you.” I admitted.

  He stood up, taking a step towards me. “Well, what if-” And then he promptly threw up onto my slippers. Great.

“Gross, man!” I groaned. At least it had mostly gotten on the grass, but these were definitely destined for the trash now. I saw Jake suddenly become incredibly intrigued in my slippers and quickly grabbed his collar to stop him from making this situation even more revolting than it already was. “You ruined my slippers.” I huffed.

“You’re being dramatic.” He said dismissively.

“I’m not being shit! You’re the one who just hurled on me!” I shouted.

“Did I?” He seemed entirely oblivious to the situation.

“God, how drunk are you?” I asked, shaking my head in disbelief.

“I’m just… I’m just gonna sit down.” He muttered as he stumbled a few steps past me towards my back step.

“No! No, you’re not!” I called after him, dragging Jake behind me who still desperately wanted to inspect that patch of grass.

“I’m just gonna sit here for a bit.” He said again as he sat down and rested his head against back against the wall.

“No, get up- ugh.” I tried to grab his hoodie with my left hand, but didn’t have the strength to pull him up and hold Jake. And by the looks of things, it looked like this guy had already passed out anyway. “Fuck sake…”

  * * *

  It was a long Saturday night. I had to haul Jake inside so that I could spray the vomit off the lawn with the hose, and then promptly throw out my slippers. Once I was able to let him back outside, I then had to try and get the very drunk and passed out stranger into the house. A little voice in the back of my mind suggested that it might not be a good idea to take a wasted weirdo into my home, but I wasn’t the sort of person to just leave someone passed out outside. He seemed nice enough. I mean someone who gets distracted by dogs probably isn’t an axe murderer, right? And certainly for how drunk he was, he wasn’t going anywhere fast for a while, anyway. Once he was set up on the couch, it was already approaching five in the morning. I wasn’t likely to get much more sleep, but at least went back to bed for the sake of it.

  When it approached a more reasonable hour, I headed back downstairs. The man was still passed out on my couch. In the light of day, it was easier to properly take him in. His hair clearly wasn’t naturally blonde, because it had a good amount of dark brown growing out into it. The clothes that he was in certainly made him look like he could’ve been a thief, what with the black jeans and dark hoodie. Maybe I should’ve been prepared for the situation that he woke up and tried to mug me… Should I have a weapon handy? As I glanced around the room for something to at least have nearby, I heard him starting to come to.

“What… where…” He mumbled as he sat up on the couch. “Where am I?” He asked as he stared around the room, bleary eyed.

“On my couch.” I spoke, taking a step into his line of vision.

“I- uh, hi.” He said as he stared at me for a second. It looked like he was trying to work out if he recognised me or not. “Who are you?” He questioned eventually.

“The stranger whose backyard you stumbled into last night.” I answered.

“That I what??” He asked in shock.

“Who the fuck are you?” I chuckled. This poor guy seemed to have no recollection of his drunken night out.

“Alex.” He said as he rubbed at his eyes.

  Jake suddenly bounded into the room, clearly having heard his new buddy’s voice. “Hi, Ja- Oh.” Alex started, before catching himself with a look of realisation. “I am suddenly remembering some things…” He said as he stared down at my dog.

“Really?” I asked with a laugh as I watched him process this.

“Your shoes.” He gasped. The look of pure embarrassment on his face was incredibly amusing. “Oh my god, I’m so, so sorry.” He rambled as he looked up at me apologetically.

“It’s fine, they were cheap.” I sighed as I sat down on the recliner opposite him. This guy didn’t seem like he wanted to kill me. I think my decision to drag him inside had been a safe one.

“And I’m pretty sure I ruined one of your plants out there too, didn’t I?” He asked with a grimace as he glanced to the back door.

“I’ve been trying to kill that thing for years, I’m sure it will be fine.” I dismissed.

  Alex looked at me for a moment, seemingly trying to take in how his Sunday morning was going. “Would you let me make it up to you? I swear I’m not normally… like that.” He said, a sheepish smile making its way onto his face.

“You swear?” I asked with an eyebrow raised.

“We were out for an album release party and things got a bit out of hand.” He explained.

“Album?” I questioned instantly. “You make music?”

“Let me tell you all about it, over coffee?” He suggested with a hopeful expression.

I contemplated the offer for a moment. Realistically, I had probably met people under worse circumstances than having them throw up on my slippers. And this Alex guy was pretty attractive. “I’d be down for that.” I nodded.

“Maybe, uh, another day, though.” He amended quickly. “When I’m less hungover.”

Also throwing this here. For reasons. 

[emelywrites]

Hi👋🏻 Diego Hargreeves request! Maybe a little weird... but a Hogwarts au where he is a Gryffindor or Slytherin and he has a girlfriend who is a Ravenclaw, and he is all soft with her and cute, which surprises his siblings?😂 Some fluff for our hearts❤️

Okay I think we opened up a big prompt for discussion here. In my head, Luther, Diego and Ben are Gryffindors; Klaus and Vanya are Hufflepuffs; Alison is a Ravenclaw and Five is a Slytherin, but please discuss in the comments!

Warnings: Language, (hints at incest maybe cause of Luther and Alison, but not really), I think that’s it, tell me if you find something else please

Umbrella Academy meets Hogwarts

„This one’s really bad, Y/L/N, where’s Madam Pomfrey?“, Professor McGonagall asked when they laid Diego onto one of the many free beds in the hospital wing.

This game had apparently turned out to be a rather peaceful one. Hufflepuff against Gryffindor. You rarely went to Quidditch games, specifically because you helped out in the hospital wing quite a bit. You normally would have gone to a game when your boyfriend or your own house were playing but today you had to stay in the hospital wing to make sure no one would die. And with most of the Hargreeves siblings being on their respective Quidditch teams your assistance was required a lot.

„Madam Pomfrey went out to get some more ointment. Last week, when Vanya accidentally blew up the potions classroom we had to use it all up“, you explained with a look to your boyfriend.

Diego and you had been dating on the down low since your fourth year when his sister, Alison, who was a Ravenclaw like you, had introduced you, rather unintentionally.

There was a big test coming up in History of Magic and you and Alison had been sitting in the library all day trying to learn everything you hadn’t been paying attention to in class. And with Professor Binns even putting himself to sleep sometimes with his talking it was quite a lot that you had to recover yourselves. History of Magic was one of the classes you had with the Gryffindors and even though Alison’s brothers Luther, Diego and Ben were in that house you had never really been paying attention to them.

„Help!“, a boy yelled across the library, earning a death stare from Madam Pince though he didn’t seem to notice.

He ran towards you both and fell onto the free chair.

„Diego, what the fuck?“, Alison said.

So that was Diego. You had always known who Alison’s brothers were though you had never quite bothered learning which one was which.

„I have no idea what I’m doing. You gotta help me, sis. Please. We’re team zero, remember?“

„You mean History of Magic?“, she asked.

„For one, but there’s also this potions essay that I have to write until Friday and that Divination quiz on Thursday“, he sighed, slumping his head onto the table.

„Mister Hargreeves, how is ist that every time you enter this library you become a nuisance without fail?“, Madam Pince whisper-yelled at him, „You are banned from the library until the end of the year, let that be a lesson. If you need a book, maybe one of your siblings will be kind enough to get it for you.“

She pulled him up by his arm and dragged him out of the library. You looked after them but Alison had gone back to studying and you needed this study session with her just as much so you joined her. That evening you coincidentally found Diego sitting by a window and you spent all night in a secret passageway where you tried to teach him about the first Wizarding War. He got an Acceptable and excitedly came to you to thank you. Ever since that day, you’d been spending a lot of time together.

Now you were tending to your boyfriend who had fallen asleep after a healing potion and a Sleeping Draught to help him recover. You had put his sprained wrist into a cast and fixed his broken ankle with a whisper of „Episkey“ and then went to cleaning up around him. When Madam Pomfrey got back to the Hospital Wing she sent you to your dorm since it had gotten quite late. You quickly spared a glance to see if she was looking and when she didn’t you placed a quick kiss onto your sleeping boyfriend’s forehead before you left.

The next morning, a Sunday, you quickly took some food from the Great Hall and then went to the Hospital Wing to have breakfast with Diego. You didn’t notice that Alison was eyeing you suspiciously. You arrived by his bedside to see him wide awake toying with some ball, probably much to Madam Pomfrey and the other two patients’ annoyance. You caught the ball mid-air, set the food onto his bedside table and closed the curtains around his bed.

„Y/N, my hero, accept my snuggles as a thank you for saving my life“, he said a little loudly.

You giggled and sat down on his bed. He scooted up and pulled you into him with his healthy arm. You spent the day eating the food you had brought and talking about everything and nothing. He told you about the game in all possible detail while you were snuggled into his side. When he was done with his grand story about how many points he scored and how heroic it was of him to take the Bludger (that as far as you could tell he hadn’t even noticed but it would have hit one of the other chasers if not him but you let him have his moment) he pulled you even closer and pressed a kiss to your head. You both just enjoyed being in each other’s arms and drifted off to sleep for a short nap until Madam Pomfrey woke you up to alert you both that Diego could go now.

You parted ways in front of the Great Hall, but not before he pulled you close by your hand again, which he kissed before pressing another one to your lips. You sat down in front of Alison at the Ravenclaw table. She was smirking at you.

„What?“, you asked, narrowing your eyes at her.

„How the fuck is he so fucking soft for you?“

„I have no idea what on earth you’re on about“, you simply answered loading some lasagna onto your plate.

„Yeah, sure you don’t. I just hear all types of rumors“, she smirked, „You aren’t very discreet when you’re kissing right in front of the hall, you know?“

„Jealous I am with the attractive one of your brothers and you’re stuck with Luther?“, you grinned.

„Haha, you know that’s not true, we never even kissed.“

She dropped the topic.

Over the next few days it became quite apparent that all of Diego’s siblings and probably most people at school had found out about you two so you weren’t even trying to hide anymore and just started holding hands on your ways through the halls. He always pressed a kiss to your head and you always pressed a kiss to his cheek before you parted ways in front of a classroom or your common room. Speaking of which, he was always walking you places now and often coming late to his own classes because of it. Much to the annoyance of some of his siblings who had to follow sometimes out of practicality. 

On a snowy Saturday afternoon you were sitting in the Three Broomsticks just enjoying your butterbeers sitting very close to one another, his arm around you. HIs siblings were with you guys, just sitting at the same table as you two because it was so full.

„Aw, you two are too sweet!“, Klaus exclaimed.

„Oh yeah? When I put my arm around Alison it’s weird but they’re cute“, Luther said, crossing his arms.

„Maybe the simple reason for that is that they’re not related“, Five responded, uninterested.

„We’re not biological“, Alison said.

„Yeah, but what would you say if I kissed Vanya?“, Klaus mused.

„I’d say ‚Gross, get off, weirdo‘“, Vanya replied, her face showing disgust.

„We never even kissed“, Alison downed the rest of her butterbeer and got up, „You’re paying“, she demanded from no one in particular and left.

„Diego Hargreeves, the big softie“, Ben smirked.

Diego shifted in his seat and looked down at you. He smiled.

„Whatever, I guess I’m a softie then, you guys are just jealous“, he drank his own butterbeer, then the rest of yours and then he got up and pulled you along, „you’re paying“, he repeated his sister’s actions and then pulled you out of the place.

When you were out on the street he pulled you close and kissed you. 

„My softie“, you smiled.

[tackyink]

Rambling for real about things that happened ages ago. tl;dr my school from 16 to 18 was pretty crappy

I was reading the link to the Père Lachaise bat lore on the last reblog because I did a project on that cemetery, along with a few others, when I was 17. In order to graduate from our equivalent of high school, you need to do a big project with a presentation on your last year, and my school forced us to make it a group project because the faculty just didn’t want to deal with triple or quadruple work. They heartily recommended us to pick people from our own class and do something related to our branch of study, so of course I went and joined forces with my close friend group, which was split into three separate branches (tech, humanities and social sciences). Our homeroom teachers didn’t seem to mind a lot, so we went to grab something to eat after school and brainstorm about what we could do.

In the end, we settled on cemetery art. There’s a couple of interesting cemeteries in our city, so we could do field work instead of just doing a lot of copy pasting from the internet and books.

Problem was that not only did the faculty not want to work, our Art History teacher, who actually liked the idea, was unavailable, and no one else wanted to work specifically with us because they thought the subject was too creepy.

Let’s keep in mind that these were a bunch of 50-something year olds refusing to supervise some teens’ project because they thought looking at angel statues was scary. I... just... what.

In the end, we were assigned the French teacher, who according to the only one of us who had her as a teacher was a bit nasty, and hoo BOY.

There were two groups under her supervision, and she favored the other one and couldn’t even be discreet about it. At least once a week we met with her for an hour to review our progress, and she spent at most 10 minutes looking at our material, not even feigning interest or offering any suggestions, to then go to the other group and chat with them until the time was up. This went on for months. This project was 10% of our grade and the most civil thing that woman said to us all along was that it was nice that we had translated and cleaned up a statue chart that we found on the internet. We ended up doing everything by ourselves.

My Spanish Lit teacher, bless his certified weirdo soul, and my homeroom teacher were the only adults that attended our presentation in a cramped room that wasn’t even used for lessons, and I guess the French teacher hadn’t been saying very nice things about our work because both were pleasantly surprised with the result and congratulated us.

Then, the final nail in the coffin was when the grades came out. We got a 9 out of 10. Nobody in the school got a 10 because according to the teachers we asked, “the perfect project doesn’t exist.”

This was a problem, because students averaging 9 to 10 on a global scale get their first year of university free, and there’s a limit to how many of those a school can give out. One of my female-presenting friends and I were essentially competing for one of the three available spots, and we really needed that extra point because guys had an advantage over us: our PE teacher was a sleazy sexist bastard and it was well known that he never graded guys below 7 and girls above 6, barring two exceptions: we could get up to an 8 playing extracurricular sports or, in one spectacular case we witnessed, being a literal model with very bouncy tits. This isn’t a jab at her, she was a professional model and dressed as such, even to school, and looked older than her age. He liked that. How’s that for creepy, faculty?

Adding to that, I fucked up my knee playing basketball when I was 15 and relapsed at 16, so I had to sit out PE classes for most of the year. I had a flat 5 in my report card.

Our saving grace came with the final meetings the teachers had at the end of our second year. I would bet a lot of money that it was a combo effort by our homeroom teachers, the Spanish Lit wacky man, and the Latin teacher, but they decided to up our PE grades so we could have a 10 in our global grade and get that free pass to university. To which we went together, by the way, so group projects were never shit again.

I didn’t fully realize the gravity of all this until I was older, but the rampant disfunction and cronyism in that school nearly left me out of university. There’s no way I could have afforded it, and with the rapid rise of uni prices in the following years and the economic crisis, there’s even less of a chance that I would have been able to save money and go later. I was very fortunate to have a few choice people willing to stick their necks out for me, but I also hope the French and PE teachers choked on a spiky dick in the years that have elapsed since then. At least they fired the English teacher after only ~10% of us passed the English test in our uni access exams.

[toothsy]

I like it || Todoroki Shoto

A/N : I'm so sorry for not writing a lot recently !! I had a lot of homework to do and exams, anyway. I hope you're still interested to see my writings because I, AM HERE ! Anyway, so since I'm little, my friends and family always asked me ''How would be your ideal first kiss ?'' and me, being the tomboy girl, I never thought about it or asked myself this, nor even cared about this, I just knew it would (hopefully) happen. BUT, recently, I miiiiiight think a lot about a girl that confessed to me in my class some days ago and… might like her. Aaaand, being the weirdo I am, I'm often thinking about us… having our first kiss c: anyway. This is how my perfect kiss would be like but with a bnha character that I haven't wrote for yet : Todoroki Shoto

Warnings : Their first kiss, romance, fluff ? Curses (I like to put Katsuki there time to time)

Keys : Y/n - Your Name || L/n - Last Name ||

------------------------------------------------------------------

I sighed to myself when I looked at the box in my hands with the little note on it, reading it while walking toward the dorms. My mom wanted me to come to my house and give me a surprise, since I just had my hero license, she wanted to celebrate it by giving me a gift. So here I was, with a little box in my hands with chocolate sticks inside, yes, it was a pocky box. I'm not really into these things, hell I'm even the worst when it comes to romance, I'm totally the opposite of romantic, but my mom still gave me the pocky box. Why though ?

'I know you're not really the romantic type, that's why I'm giving you a hand ! There must be a boy (or girl !) that you like at school and knowing you, you probably don't know what to do or what to say, so I hope this gift will help you at least a little. Congratulation for your hero license honey <3

- Mom.'

Ugh, it almost feels like she's desperate to have grand kids. I know she's just trying to help me, so I didn't say anything except thanking her and leave. Thinking about it, I don't have a crush on anyone in my class, do I ? I do hang out with a lot of people, but do I feel any attractions to anyone ? Since I'm little, my friends and family always asked me how my ideal first kiss would be, but I never really thought about it, nor even cared. I just know that it'll happens. Though, recently, I'm thinking about it a lot.

I did tried to think about it before, but the person I was kissing was only a black hole, no one in particular, just a black hole. It just felt like I wasn't interested in love at all, and honestly it was kind of making me sad knowing most of my friends had their perfect partner in mind while I didn't have any ideas of how he or she would be. It was also making me sad that I didn't know what to answer when people were asking me 'Do you like someone ?', I just shrugged it off every time.

My friends would often leave me for their boy/girlfriend, sick right ? So I was often left alone while my friends were spending time with their partner, having their first kiss together, even their first time for some. Valentine's day was the worst though, it just felt like I was the only one not having a partner yet on earth. Most of the time, I would just lock myself in my room for the entire day watching movies.

I also don't know how it feels to be in your lover's arms, how the first kiss feels, how the cuddles in bed feels, but somehow, I still want to know, I just don't know with who. It all changed once I was accepted to U.A though. No one was a couple in my class yet, even though we could tell that some had crushes on others, but that's it and that's what I liked about my class. The first day was terrible though, I'm not the best when it comes to social skills, I just don't know how to approach people and having a conversation with them, but some did talked to me. Izuku, Kirishima, Uraraka, Iida and, the last but not the least, Todoroki Shoto.

I surprised myself, but I was actually the one that started a conversation with him, since he was a bit like me. I don't know why, but he caught my interest. Obviously, he was cold at first, but knowing his father, I knew he would be like this too, so it didn't bother me, I actually keep talking to him and more I was talking with him, less tense he was toward me. We actually became good friends afterwards.

What happened did shocked me. The hole slowly started to fade, it started to become a person, but I couldn't tell who, but it did faded. I was surprised when I found myself thinking about someone. I was normal after all ? But who is it ? I also started to become insecure. Do they like me back ? My lips are maybe too dry, are they ? What if they don't like me back ?

Anyway, once I saw the dorms, I looked at the building while a sigh escaped my mouth. Maybe the pocky game will help after all, but how am I supposed to ask someone to play that game ? Everyone knew how it worked, so it is really not a discreet way to say 'I love you'. I opened the door of the building and looked around, everyone were talking and once they heard the door closing behind me, they looked at me and started to smile more, seeing me again.

''Y/n-san ! You're back ! How was your meeting with your mother ?'' Asked the green haired boy.

''Yeah Y/n-chan ! How was it ? What is the gift ??'' Asked Uraraka. I smiled and chuckled.

''Huh, it was okay aaand...'' I took a big breath and showed them the pocky box.

''She bought me this so huh…'' I started to get nervous, what if they think it's weird ? What if they think I AM weird ? What if-

''Woaah so lucky ! Oooooh, I wonder who will be the lucky one that'll play with you, huh Y/n ?'' said Mina while taking the pocky box with a smug look.

A blush suddenly appeared on my face, suddenly, my e/c eyes were locked with the heterochromia ones. I suddenly felt something warm and I started to panic, feeling myself blush even more.

''Your mother bought it for you ? Why ?'' He asked.

''H-Huh, she thinks I need a hand for… romance, since I'm really not, well.. romantic.'' I stated. He looked at the box and then looked back at me and was going to say something until Mina cut him.

''Oooooh, you didn't have your first kiss yet ?'' She asked. I shook my head.

''I don't know what to do with that box though, 'cuz honestly I will not use it.''

The pink haired started to think of what to do with it until Uraraka had an idea.

''What if we play at this game together ? Like, you know, spinning the bottle and the two that it points has to do it ? I mean… it's not only ending with kisses, it's just a matter of who arrives at the middle.'' said the brunette.

And that's how we ended up in a circle with a bottle in the middle.

Everyone was here, even the explosive blond was there after his red haired friend convinced him to come, how ? I don't know, but he's here anyway. I started to feel nervous, what if I'm with someone that I don't want to kiss and accidentally kiss ? What if I'm with worst, Mineta, being the one that would obviously take advantage ? He was next of Todoroki. I looked at him, feeling my cheeks burning when he caught me staring at him. What was my problem ? Why do I feel like this every time I'm around him ?

Mina started to explain the rules, I barely listened to her, my head was in the clouds, I really felt anxious somehow, why though ? It's only a pocky game. Then, it hits me like a truck. The weird feeling I have every time Todoroki is around, the butterflies in the stomach, the feeling of not being able to stop blushing, is it what we call.. love ?

''Y/n-chan ?'' Asked Izuku, which was next to me. I jumped and looked at him.

''Are you alright ?'' Was I ? I wanted to tell him that I was nervous, but decided to shrug it off and nodded. He smiled and then looked at Mina, listening to her.

''So ! With all of this said, who spins the bottle ?'' The brunette asked. Kirishima decided to do it.

Eventually, Kaminari had to go against Rikido, which was funny since the blond obviously wanted to go against a girl, they didn't kiss, Rikido ate it faster. Next was Mina and Momo, their lips eventually brushed against each other, which was making the black haired girl blush and apologize a lot but Mina didn't react much, she just giggled. After this, Izuku had to go against Uraraka, like the two girls before, their lips brushed against each other but they both quickly apologize with their face all red.

''Okay ! It's the last stick so it's the last turn ! The first one will be…'' the red haired spin the bottle and it ended on me, oh gosh. I could feel myself sweating because of the panic.

''Y/n !'' I gulped when I heard my name and he spin the bottle again.

''Aaaaaand she will go against… '' I tightly closed my eyes, scared of the person I'll have to go against. Suddenly, it was completely silent. I opened my eyes and they widened slightly.

''Huh…''

The bottle stopped in the middle of Mineta and Todoroki. So who was winning ? I couldn't tell if the bottle was more turned to the bi-haired male or the grape. (I'm sorry I'm really mean I need to stop). The small guy smirked and got up.

Oh no.

''Well, the bottle seems more turned to me so…''

Oh please god help me out.

I gulped until I heard a loud voice, making everyone jump.

''You idiot ! That bottle is fucking more turned to that half n' half ass, not you you shitty grape. Plus knowing you, you will obviously try to rape her or something, so fuck off !''

THANK YOU

''Wh-Wha-''

''Alright, I'll go.'' Said Todoroki, taking the last chocolate stick and putting the ending in his mouth and getting closer to me.

I walked closer to him, then took the other ending with my teeth. I could feel myself blushing once again, my heartbeat was really loud, to the point where I was wondering if anyone else was hearing it. I looked into his eyes, he stared back at me, my eyes turned to his cheeks. Was he…. blushing ?

''Okay, ready ? Set. Go !''

Once I heard the signal to start, I tried my best to eat the chocolate stick as fast as possible. Todoroki was doing the same, I could feel his breath on me, we were pretty fast, but we both went to the same rhythm, so once we both reached to the middle, I could feel the soft lips of his, pressing against mine. My eyes widened and his too, both of our cheeks were red like tomatoes.

The image of my first kiss appeared on my head again, the black hole slowly was disappearing, more and more, until I could see properly the face of my perfect partner, and it was Todoroki. The partner I was looking for, for so long, was Todoroki, the love I wanted to know how it feels like, it finally came true. If this is why my friends were leaving me for, I now understand them, because this feeling is addicting. We both took a long time before pulling away, looking at each other in shock. He blinked a few times before getting back to his place, saying 'my apologies' while doing so.

''Oooooh that was so cute !!'' Yelled Mina, which was making everything worst.

I gulped and then get back to my place. It was the last stick, so everyone got up, laughing at our reaction and also at the other's reaction. It was late, so everyone told 'Good night' to everyone and went to their room, well except us. I couldn't look at him, because I was blushing badly and I didn't want him to see me in this state. I thought he would leave, but he actually came closer. My insecurities suddenly came back, hitting me. Does he like me ? Was this kiss anything to him ? I started to bite my lip, what if our relationship becomes awkward after this ?

''Todoroki-kun…'' I whispered.

''Yes ?'' He quickly asked.

''I... I'm sorry I.. I didn't want to… you know.''

There was a silence between us, until I saw him getting up, I looked down, thinking that he would leave, uninterested, but he instead sat next to me. I could feel my heart beating really fast, this feeling… It's crazy how this feeling can mess someone's up, really.

''It's okay.''

I suddenly felt the same soft lips that were pressed against mine a moment ago, on my right cheek. I 'eek' slightly in surprised and turned to him. Here he was, sitting next of me, smiling softly. I became red again, wanting more of that touch, missing it already.

''I liked it.''

[seungkwanslowqualityenglish]

Boyfriend!Soobin

Who: Soobin [ TXT ] 

Word Count:  2,113 words

Genre: Fluff 

Warning: N/A

Request: No.

@ultkyu​ I had planned to write just a short simple little fic for your birthday, however we know how that goes for me, short turns into not so short, and it’s still not done. So, enjoy this instead, I just wrote this quickly so it’s not the best, but enjoy.

Also  💕 💕 💕 💕 𝐻𝒶𝓅𝓅𝓎 𝐵𝒾𝓇𝓉𝒽𝒹𝒶𝓎 𝒦𝓇𝒾𝓈𝓈𝓎  💕 💕 💕 💕

You two would meet at a grocery store.

Like why do they always have to put the things you like on the top shelf.

You don’t mind climbing up the shelves, but that’s just sorta frowned upon, so you try not to.

You were just about to be giving up your goal of getting this one certain item, it being on the tallest of shelves, when you saw him.

He was over there looking all tall and handsome, but mostly tall, like really really tall, tall enough to reach the top shelf with ease.

It would have been an easy walk over, ask to get item, receive item, and thank them for getting the item, had he not turned around at that exact moment.

Of course, in doing so, he locked eyes with you, and here you are, that weirdo staring at someone else in the grocery store.

That was when you finally stuttered out “Help please”, after you finally got over being captivated by his stunning eyes and smile.

Like damn someone needed to write his parents a thank you letter, for giving birth to this god among men.

Maybe he was just used to this, or maybe he was just good at hiding his feelings since he simply chuckled, before asking “which item?”

That was just the first of many times you met him.

Often in that same grocery store, since his friends and parents often sent him on the food runs.

It wasn’t until one of your old friends invited you over to his house, that you got to really meet him.

While at Yeonjun’s, you learned his name was Soobin, despite all the times you met him in the store, never once did you get his name.

That was the first of many times you hung out with the guys.

Taehyun and Kai were like annoying younger brothers, and Beomgyu was as well.

It was about two months into being friends with them, that Yeonjun noticed something odd.

You always referred to all the guys as your brothers, but Soobin, he was just Soobin.

Yeonjun isn’t exactly a mastermind, but he felt like playing cupid, and that’s how you ended up at this restaurant with Soobin, waiting on 4 others who were not to come.

You had been sat about ten minutes when you finally got a text from Yeonjun, “can’t make it enjoy your date”.

That was followed by Soobin receiving identical messages from Kai, Beomgyu, and Taehyun.

He had set you up, and you couldn’t be mad at him, since they knew neither of you would have admitted your feelings and asked the other out.

The date was going well, however it still felt odd.

A fancy restaurant just wasn’t your vibe, and that’s how you two found yourself at an arcade.

That is how you stood here by the skee-ball machine, Soobin swearing he’s a pro, while also missing every single target.

This went on all night.

He was a skee-ball pro, a pinball master, a Pac Man wizard, and so forth.

But in reality, he wasn’t, he was just really trying to impress you, but it was sorta failing.

But honestly, it wasn’t really since you were impressed by his confidence.

As the night was nearing an end, he claimed he was a pro one last time, the crane machine.

While he played, you excuse yourself to the bathroom for a moment.

Had you stayed during that time, you would have seen him fail at the crane game many times.

During his times losing and his mumblings about wanting to win you something just once, he caught the attention of some other couple, who had their fair share of things from winning.

That was how he got the stuffed animal that he gave you, claiming he won it, once you returned.

Maybe you should thank Yeonjun, but his ego probably would inflate too much if you did, since it was due to him that you got a boyfriend.

After that, Soobin finally had the confidence to ask you out, well out again.

As he was dropping you off at home that night, he asked you for another date.

That one set off a string of other dates, before you two finally decided to become official.

Yet, in announcing it, it wasn’t anything the others didn’t know, since they’ve been knew, they were just waiting for you to confirm it.

You are dating the softest tallest sweetheart ever.

Like Soobin would treasure you, and nothing could ever stop that.

You would be precious to him, and nothing else can compare.

The two of you would have the cutest relationship, going on adorable dates to the arcade, the cafe, the beach, and stuff. 

You two would be dating about a month before he finally works up the courage to kiss you.

The both of you were just having an at home date, having dinner and a movie in the boys dorm.

That was your first mistake, having your date in the boys dorm.

The second mistake was thinking the others wouldn’t interrupt.

The dinner went well, you and Soobin cooked, and did not burn the kitchen down, which is a big achievement.

The movie was going well as some random romance movie could.

It being a bit chilly, you found yourself moving close to Soobin, as he wrapped his arm around you, pulling you closer to him. 

It was at that moment that he decided to make his move, and he kissed you.

As your lips touched, it was a perfect moment.

Well, it would have been, had it not been for Kai and Taehyun running into the living at that exact moment.

 Usually this moment would be described with fireworks and butterflies, but instead this moment was filled with screams and a door slamming.

Not exactly the most ideal thing to happen during your first kiss with him, but the rest of the boys coming home at that time wasn’t exactly ideal either.

It hadn’t been five minutes before all the other four knew, and it somehow shifted from you two kissing to completely making out on the sofa.

Which concerned Yeonjun, until you quickly explained that you were not, and that the others were exaggerating it.

It was that moment that the two of you both realized that this was the real thing, it wasn’t some short lived fling, and you didn’t run off when Kai and Taehyun interrupted you both kissing.

From then on, Soobin would constantly be giving you kisses.

Like if he doesn’t give you at least one kiss a day, he’ll die, or at least he claims.

Often it’s soft forehead kisses and occasionally nose kisses, at least when the boys are around.

Kisses on the lips is reserved for only when the others are gone, since you have no doubt it would be exaggerated if they witnessed it again. 

Soobin would love just holding you.

Like you sitting on the sofa, not for long, your in his lap now.

You are sitting without holding his hand, not for long, now you are not only holding his hand but also have his arm around your waist.

He is here for pda, except he’s not that much here for it in public. 

Like in the safety of your house or their dorm, he will hold you to his heart’s content, but in public, nah, he might hold your hand, if even that.

He would give the best cuddles.

Like literally the moment he starts cuddling you, you just want to stay there forever, and he would honestly let you too.

You both would have been together for a while, when he finally realizes he loves you.

It was his birthday, and imagine his surprise when he opens one of his many presents from you.

It was something he had vaguely mentioned wanting months ago, but he didn’t think he would actually get it. 

You got him that, along with some other things he had mentioned wanting, but never bought for himself.

It was at that moment he realized that he didn’t only love you, but he was in love with you.

You remember little things about him that others forget, and you remembered all the vague little things he mentioned wanting, and the others had either not heard or forgot about.

Would probably immediately say “I love you” without thinking, just for you to reply “I love you too” and he’s just like so confused, like what just happened.

He would love seeing you wear his clothing, if they fit you. 

Like he’d purposely leave his hoodies in your closet when he’s at your house, just so you wear them.

And if they don’t fit you, he’d purposely buy then bigger, and then be like “I like over-sized hoodies” when you ask him about it.

He would purposely buy couples hoodies and leave one at your house, and then you’ll wear it and he’ll also wear his and be like “oh look at that, I guess I had two.”

But you catch on easily, since he’s not that discreet about it.

He probably claims something like it was buy one get one free or something, but you know it wasn’t, he’s just not gonna admit he purposely bought one for you.

He would call you hella nicknames, like everything but your name.

His favorites are angel, prince/ss, and baby; and he probably has you in his phone as 💕My Angel💕 or something like that. 

He says Angel so much, his parents will think that’s your real name, until he explains like no it’s not.

He’d probably introduce you to his parents after a few months, and you’d be so nervous, but he’d be even worse.

Like he would be freaking out the whole time running through different scenarios, and in his eyes, the worst thing that could happen is his parents hating the one he loves.

But they love you, and call you both adorable, and it goes well.

He would enjoy going places with you, and doing things with you.

Like you want to go shopping, he’s fine being your hype man for three hours as you try to find the right pair of pants.

You wanna go to the beach, he’s up for it.

He doesn’t mind where you go, as long as he’s with you.

He sends you good morning and good night text.

When he is gone, he’d facetime you every night, if he could.

He’d call when it’s night for you, talking to you until you fall asleep. 

You wish he’d wake you or something, but he probably says some cute things like “seeing you sleep makes me feel like I’m close to you” or something.

He hates leaving you, so be prepared for daily selfies, and he would also like it if you sent him at least biweekly selfies.

Claims he’ll forget what you look like if you don’t.

Also overreacts saying you’ll forget what he looks like if he doesn’t send you daily selfies when he is gone.

Probably also fills your phone with selfies of himself before he leaves, so you have something to look at while he’s gone.

He loves taking photos of you, himself, and you both together.

He has a whole album of selfies of himself to send you, along with a whole album of photos of you he took, and a whole album of couple photos.

Normal people run out of storage from memes or music, he runs out of storage from photos of you.

Probably does something cute like compile photos of you and you two together, and then makes some cute scrapbook for your first anniversary. 

Wants to document each moment he has with you, so he’ll never forget it, which leads to you having tons of photos around.

Totally plans on telling the story behind all of these stories to your future children, whether the two of you have children or you just consider the other boys’ children yours. 

Loves taking you out to make these memories.

But absolutely under no circumstance are you to order mint chocolate chip ice cream, especially with him, the president of the mint chocolate chip ice cream haters club.

If you hate it as well, he’ll enlist you on clowning Yeonjun about liking it.

If you like it, well at least you have other redeeming qualities to him.

Sees himself with you in the future, but is sorta shy to admit it.

You are both young, and he just doesn’t want to scare you off by telling you.

But honestly, you see yourself with him in the future as well.

[vagrantblvrd]

Sky Factory Android Shenanigans is giving me so many ideas?

That super cliché sci-fi AU where Michael’s an android on the run (because reasons???) and he ends up on one backwater planet/colony somewhere. Parts on the fritz thanks to a run in with some black ops/assassination squad and he needs repairs but doesn’t know who to trust?

Broadcasts reporting him as, idk, malfunctioning and the whatnot and a danger to the public – do not approach or engage – and call the authorities if you see this unit.

(Unit, like he’s not a person anymore, had his autonomy stripped away along with his humanity and goddamn him for being stupid enough to trust whatever organization he signed up for that got him killed, turned him into this and fucked him over again with all the secrets it was keeping he hadn’t even guessed at before stumbling on them, hence the android on the run part of things? But yes.)

And then he overhears someone talking about this lunatic living on the fringes of whatever settlement he’s come to. Like something out of the true crime stories he used to follow when he was a kid – or is that just another implanted memory?

Shady as hell and rife with con-men and thieves and worse, perfect place to hide out for a while until his stupid body shuts down and he dies for real out here.

Half-blind most days because that shot to the head and it acts up at the worst times. Almost gets him killed a few times when some of those thieves and worse ambush him in an alley and it’s sheer luck he manages to get out of it without suffering more damage.

Anyway, anyway, he hears about this lunatic who’s supposed to be some kind of mechanical genius, right? Doesn’t run a real shop, lives out by the main scrapyard like a weirdo. People bring their busted machines and gadgets and the whatnots to him and he fixes them up nice and pretty-ish. (Cheaper than the officially licensed technicians near the spaceport and a hell of a lot more discreet to boot.)

So.

Michael makes his way there, half-convinced he’s walking into a trap but it’s take that risk or end up being a pile of spare parts in the guy’s scrapyard anyway, right?

And at first the asshole doesn’t even respond when Michael knocks on his door, pretends he’s not home or whatever and Michael’s just.

At the end of his rope and angry and defeated and he starts yelling at the fucker until his vocalizer glitches out, and that’s when the door snaps open, sending Michael tumbling inside where he lands on his face because his everything is fucked up and he doesn’t react fast enough.

Looks up to see someone staring down at him, implants and augments like whoa because no human has an eye that glows red unless it’s in one of those old horror holovids.

“What do you want?

Surly bastard, which lines up with the things Michael overheard before.

Loner who doesn’t really gt left alone because people need things, don’t they, and there’s not a lot of  money coming into a place like this. Old mining planet/colony where the companies pulled their operations out when the mines ran dry and only the worst kind of people come by anymore.

The few decent people left behind too poor to relocate, so it’s a shitshow and as someone with the skills to he has he gets visitors more often than he’d care for. (Customers or someone hoping to take what he has any way they have to, which explains the weapon in his hand and Michael’s almost to point he’d just let the fucker shoot him to be done with it, but.)

He stands up, servos and whatever else he’s made of these days creaking and groaning and this little flash of light that may be actual sparks coming off him and he sees the guy’s grimace at how bad off he is.

Like Jesus, if he wasn’t what he was Michael knows someone would have scrapped him a few planets back, but whatever.

The guy – Ryan, of course it’s Ryan – flips the lights on and they get a good look at one another.

Michael’s headed for a full-system shutdown and Ryan?

Looks like he’s been through some shit. Enough augments and implants that the legal system would be hard-put classifying him as human anymore, leaning past cyborg and dangerously close to being an android himself like some of those soldiers Michael’s seen who got caught up in the outer worlds skirmishes a few years back.

A lot of them look cobbled together from whatever parts he could find out here, which makes sense if the guy’s here of all places. (People don’t end up somewhere like here if they have resources to call on, you know? And no one ends up somewhere like here if they’re not in some kind of trouble, so. Yeah.)

They regard each for a long, long time.

Michael knows Ryan recognizes him, but he’s too tired to bother running – been doing too much of that as it is – and he wouldn’t get far in the shape he’s in if he tried

Last resort and the way that goes and Ryan sighs, gesturing for Michael to follow him and he does because what else is he going to do?

Ryan fixes him up, this long on-going process that takes a long damn time because Michael’s so busted up. Has this little helper bot he’s built out of old construction bots or something because its still sporting that distinct yellow paint job, little black and white stripe along its side.

Beeps and chirps and boops whenever Ryan asks it to bring him this tool or that, dig through the bins along one wall for parts or whatever. Hovers along just behind him when they’re not in the workshop/lab loyal little helper and kind of cute in a weird kind of way.

Ryan calls it E.D.G.A.R. and when Michael asks what the acronym stands for Ryan shrugs because hell if he knows, he just thought it was appropriate, which what does that even mean???

Ryan and E.D.G.A.R. dig through the bits and pieces he has stashed in his workshop/lab/lab, cannibalize worker androids – makes and models who didn’t start out as humans like Michael did – for some of it. Searches through the scrapyard to find parts he can modify for the rest.

Once he gets Michael functioning to a high enough level he can lend a hand Michael’s out there too, digging through piles of appliances and machinery and trying not to look too hard at the scattered android parts and chassis tossed in there too. (Some look too human, synthetic flesh torn and weathered from being unprotected from the elements for who know how long)

They don’t really get friendly, the two of them, but Ryan forgets to play the curmudgeon the longer he works at fixing Michael up.

Doesn’t ask who Michael is or how he ended up here, doesn’t seem like he’s waiting on the authorities to come claim him either.

Kind of a confusing time for them both because it’s clear Ryan’s got his own secrets, you know?

More than just some guy who picked up what he knows ‘along the way’, no.

There’s an order to his workshop/lab/lab Michael recognizes from the days right after those fuckers turned him into a machine, the way he works.

Meticulous as hell and so precise and just. More care than any of the hacks Michael’s gone to since he’s been on the run.

And then!

And then there’s – Michael doesn’t know when the shift happens but he bitches about something and Ryan laughs, quiet little huff of air and this tell-tale quirk to his mouth, and he gives Michael this. This look.

Something thoughtful to it he doesn’t really understand, can’t fucking compute, but who cares, right? Because Ryan’s less of a bastard after that, they get along better and Michael stops worrying Ryan’s just waiting for the right moment to turn him in, thinks his luck might be changing on him – so of course that’s when things go to shit.

Someone must have seen Michael before, recognized him and figured out he went to Ryan for help because the people chasing Michael?

They find him.

Assassination squad(s) and both of them unprepared for it and Ryan gets hit, gets hit bad.

More machine than man, but there’s still enough squishy human left to him that a bullet/energy weapon shot in the right place will kill him, you know? (Besides, all those augments and implants are hooked up to his squishy human parts in amazingly delicate ways and it’s real fucking easy to use that against someone if you know how.)

Michael doesn’t get away unscathed himself, but of the two of them he’s far more functional. And even though Ryan didn’t have the right parts and components to bring him up to factory specs again, so to speak, he did a damn good job with what he had on hand, you know?

There’s also the fact that the people who made Michael what he is now didn’t expect him to turn on them, thought they had a nice loyal dog in their hands and they made a mistake giving him the teeth and claws they did. All these built-in weapons because he’s a prototype, isn’t he.

New war machine to sell to the highest bidder and better than all those soulless robots people were using before because there’s a human mind in there capable of making the kind of decisions and choices and whatever else a simple computer program or AI could ever hope to. (Real fucking close to the complex sort of AI they’d need for that, but not close enough to satisfy the corporations or military forces who would commission them.)

So.

Michael gets them out of there, follows E.D.G.A.R. to this ship Ryan’s got hidden away – looks like shit but Ryan – stubbornly hanging on – insists it’ll get them to safety, just don’t fly them into the sun or a fucking planet, for Christ’s sake.

Michael gets Ryan into the medbay which – surprise, surprise – looks like a smaller version of Ryan’s workshop/lab/ than a medbay, but who cares at this point.

Hooks him up to machines to keep him alive until he can give him proper medical care and gets them away from any pursuers.

When he goes back down to check on Ryan it’s to find the asshole directing E.D.G.A.R. to open up this   pod on the wall. (Looks more like a casket.)

Human shaped and something about it unsettles Michael who demands to know what’s going on, because Ryan shouldn’t be doing what’s he’s doing.

Seriously injured and lost a lot of blood and any normal human would be dead by this point, and Ryan.

He sighs, gives Michael this look because they both know he’s not going to get better from his injuries, you know? Squishy human parts all fucked up and augments and implants malfunctioning worse than Michael had been when he went to Ryan.

Only a matter of time and Ryan knew something like this would happen one day – all the things Michael was careful not to ask Ryan the same way Ryan didn’t ask Michael because secrets. (And Plot Reasons, but c’mon, you know how this works by now.)

E.D.G.A.R. cracks the pod/casket open and oh, wow, surprise, surprise there’s an android body inside it.

Looks a hell of a lot like Michael’s, but this one is a little bigger, bulkier. Looks like an older version, one that was modeled more after the construction androids, used for heavy labor and the whatnot. No synthetic flesh cover its frame, all powered down and waiting and -

“Don’t do this,” Michael says, because Ryan thinks he knows what he’s doing but he doesn’t.

He doesn’t.

(Michael doesn’t know what else they can do, but this - there has to be another way.)

Ryan gives Michael this sad little smile and it’s horrifying because internal bleeding and everything else, and he’s just.

“Michael,” he says, and he sounds so tired. “Why do you think I knew how to repair you?”

Because Ryan didn’t end up in some backwater planet/colony by accident, you know?

Doesn’t know the things he does because he read about it somewhere or had a job working in a goddamned repair shop on one of the inner worlds.

None of those easy little lies Michael kept telling himself, no.

Ryan used to work for this corporation, big on advancing science and all that bullshit that had major funding provided by the military and so on and so forth. People real interested in cutting down on human bloodshed and what better way than to create machines to do it for them?

Things went wrong along the way, and they got desperate as project after project failed to live up to expectation. (Some key component missing and it wasn’t until someone decided morals and ethics were oh so troublesome they made any real headway.)

People like Michael and accidents here and there, soldiers offer a second chance and there’s an experimental program that hasn’t been revealed to the public. Dangerous, of course, but -

Some people got a choice in the matter, sold their souls for that second chance. Others like Michael never had that luxury.

And Ryan, oh. He was part of that, wasn’t he.

Designed the androids because the science of it all, but he never expected things would lead where they did.

Got to watch as his creations were used in the worst possible ways, saw the early days where human brains couldn’t cope with the transfer progress. Breadth and depth of what makes a human mind (soul?) shoved into a computerized/cybernetic shell of its former self, most without warning and the fallout -

Most committed suicide, some went mad. The others had to be destroyed as they decayed.

And Ryan.

He tried to expose them, did what he could and it almost, almost worked.

But one man against a vast conglomeration fueled by greed and corruption and it almost killed him. (Should have, maybe that would have been better.)

He had a handful of augments and implants before everything went to hell to help him in his work, but afterward.

Well.

Squishy human bodies are just that, aren’t they. Get injured so badly they can’t be fixed and he ended up needing more and more until he might as well have been one of those androids he created once upon a time. (Poetic justice to it, or so he thought when he bothered to think about it at all.)

And anyway, anyway, that doesn’t matter at this point because it’s either transfer his squishy human brain-stuff into the waiting android frame or die.

Before all this, before Michael, Ryan might have chosen death. Figured it’s what he deserved for his part in things, no way he can expose the people responsible when he’s failed before, but.

Michael makes him want to try.

(Ryan knew, you see, while he was fixing Michael that the idiot would go right back out once he was done and try to do the impossible. May have drawn things out longer than he should have to prevent that from happening because he likes Michael, okay? Too much, maybe.)

This isn’t the way he saw things going, but he doesn’t want to die now. Doesn’t want to leave Michael alone to fix Ryan’s mistakes. (And maybe it’s not all on Ryan to fix, but who else is going to do it?)

So.

Michael hates it, hates it so much but he does what Ryan tells him to do. Gets him hooked up to the right machines, boots up the right programs and whatever else and watches Ryan die as he turns himself into an android.

He doesn’t know why Ryan’s doing what he’s doing, thinks it’s because he doesn’t want to just fade away into nothing, but Ryan tells him later.

Tells him everything as he’s figuring out how his new android body works, the two of them following gossip and rumors surrounding this broadcast someone’s sending out about the people responsible for making Michael what he is. Things said people are trying to shut down, shut down hard, but can never catch.

He tells him and Michael listens and it’s not easy, God is it ever not, but they come to an understanding  or something like that.

Ryan didn’t know, not for the longest time and when he did he tried to do something about that, and that has to count for something.

(He saved Michael’s life or whatever the hell you’d call it when he turned up on his doorstep, and that counts for something too.)

And just.

Michael’s got his own mistakes too, okay.

So.

They figure things out, and Ryan fixes up his android body so its face looks like his human one and he maybe upgrades it, Michael laughing at him when Ryan goes on and on and on about laser hands or whatever the hell. (Ridiculous and impractical as hell, but goddamn does it sound cool.)

Also, also? Ryan doesn’t have the combat training/protocols Michael does so ~training. Partly to get him used to how his new body moves, partly because they don’t have access to adequate things at first and Michael runs him through the basics, right?

And he teaches Ryan how to compensate for it when his targeting whatevers are on the fritz and Ryan proves to be a better shot than Michael? (New ways to bring old cliches and tropes into play, is what I’m getting at here.)

Those moments where Ryan comes up against the limitations of his new body, realizes what he’s lost when he chose to become an android and Michael just being there because he’s the best person to understand what he’s going through?

The two of them becoming this amazing team over time that is an actual threat to the people after them? (And E.D.G.A.R., because Ryan is too damn fond of the bucket of bolts.)

They run into assassination squads and whatever else and finally, finally find the source of the broadcasts and of course it’s Matt and all these misfits and outcasts with grudges against the assholes after Michael and Ryan and it’s just.

Shenanigans in space as this group of supposed space pirates/smugglers/criminal types take on a corrupt corporation because reasons.

Also, yes, totally FAHC AU in space, but different ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

================

More of this AU with Jerevin this time???

[blessyourhondahurley]

October 13 - To Tell You the Truth

[Read on AO3]

Dean looks carefully to his left and right before stepping up to Rowena's shop, checking and rechecking that there's no one looking his way. He's not sure what would happen if a rando saw him walking through the enchanted doorway, but he figures it's best to be discreet.

The spell that conceals The Cloak of Midnight from anyone who doesn't need what the witch has no longer seems to affect him. He can always see the shop now, nestled in between the travel agent and the storefront that currently houses a falafel vendor named Ash. (Ash is a trip, and his kifta is killer, so Dean's pulling for him to stick around for a while.) Dean doesn't know if Rowena made a magical exception for him, or if the spell is still doing its job in its usual way. Because the truth is, Rowena has something that he always needs – her live-in apprentice, and his boyfriend of exactly one year, Castiel.

Once he's certain he's unobserved, Dean steps through the door and straight into said boyfriend's arms.

“Hello, Dean,” Cas's deep voice rumbles in his ear. “Happy anniversary.”

“Happy anniversary, babe,” he murmurs in reply. He pulls back just far enough for a peck on the lips. “We doin' this?”

Cas's face twists. “We don't have to. Dean, I told you--”

“I know we don't have to. But I want to. I want you to feel safe, honeybee. It's okay. Really.” He touches their foreheads together and looks him in the eye. “Really,” he breathes.

His boyfriend is still for a minute, then Dean feels him nod softly. “Okay. Thank you.” Their hug breaks, and Cas calls towards the back room. “Rowena? We're ready.”

As if she'd been awaiting her cue, the red-haired witch bustles out immediately. She's holding a teapot, and she gestures towards a small table in a corner of the store, set with two empty cups. “Have a seat, now,” she says. “Tea's on.”

She places the pot in the center of the table and Dean and Cas sit, gazing across at each other through the fragrant steam.

Rowena claps once, and every tiny everyday sound in the room comes to a halt. It feels as if even the dust motes floating in the air around them freeze in their places.

“Well met, my friends,” she intones. “We are here today, we three, of our own free will, are we not?”

“Yes, Rowena,” they murmur in response.

“An' we gather here with no malice or ill will borne towards each other, aye?”

“Yes, Rowena.”

“Dean and Castiel, do you place your trust in me, and in each other?”

“Yes, Rowena.”

She claps again, and the gentle motions of the world around them resume. “I'll be mother, then, shall I?” Without waiting for an answer, she takes up the teapot and fills their cups. There is exactly enough tea for the both of them, without so much as a drop lingering on the spout. “Drink up, boys. Remember what I told you.” She sashays out of the room.

As soon as she's gone, Cas starts to fidget. He clears his throat, and Dean knows what he's going to say, so he leans forward and joins their hands. “Cas,” he soothes. “I want to.”

Cas gulps and nods.

When they'd decided to do this, Rowena had been very thorough in explaining the process, so now they move as one to pick up their cups and drain the contents. The tea is sweet and a little bit minty, and just as the witch had forewarned, it makes Dean's brain feel fuzzy and loose. He grins at his boyfriend. “Truth spell's in effect, babe. Ask me anything.”

“I feel like I've got you under interrogation,” Cas mutters ruefully. “Can you state your name for the record?” he recites, like he's a cop talking to a perp on a bad TV show.

Dean tries to laugh, but instead he feels his mouth begin to move without his volition. “Dean Michael Winchester,” he declares. It feels like the words are being pulled out of him, and it's an odd and rather shocking sensation.

Cas must see the surprise on his face, because he asks, “Are you still okay with this, Dean?”

Dean nods while the words spill out. “Yes, Cas. I'm okay with it. I trust you.”

This seems to settle something in Cas, and he presses forward with more confidence. “How do you feel about magic?” he asks.

“I think it's really cool.”

“How do you feel about having to keep magic a secret, even from your family and friends?”

“I don't like having to keep it a secret, but I understand why I need to.”

“Would you ever intentionally do anything to betray the secret”

“No, never.”

Dean expects another question right away, but Cas hesitates. The fidget is back, and his boyfriend isn't meeting his eyes. Dean takes Cas's hand again. “Ask what you wanna ask, babe. It's okay, I promise.”

“How do you feel about me?” he grits out in response.

The answer flows out of him like tea pouring from a pot. “I love you, Cas. You're my best friend, and the best boyfriend I've ever had. I think you're amazing.” Despite the fact that they are under a strong enchantment, and it's physically impossible for either of them to lie, Dean can see that somehow Cas is still skeptical. Dean squeezes his hand and smiles. “Ask me why,” he prompts.

Cas shakes his head. “No, Dean, I can't ask you that. It's not right.”

“Ask me why I love you, honeybee. I want you to.”

A sigh, a long pause, and then, “Why do you love me?”

“I love you because you're beautiful, inside and out. I love you because you're the kindest, smartest, funniest person I've ever met. I love you because, even though people have been pushing you down your whole life, calling you a freak or a weirdo, you never closed yourself off. You never stop putting love out into the world, and I'm the luckiest guy ever that now you give some of that love to me. I love you because you're fantastic in bed. The way you do that thing with your tongue where you--”

Cas blushes furiously and clamps his hand over Dean's mouth, as a muffled snort from the other room makes it clear that they've got an audience. “Rowena!” he yells. “A little privacy?”

The witch pokes her head out of the back. “I need to make sure nothing goes wrong with the spell, don't I? I'm just keepin' ya both safe.” She attempts to school her face into an expression of innocence, but she can't entirely repress her smirk. “Anyway, I should let you boys know, there's only a few minutes left on the enchantment.”

Cas glares at her until she pulls her head back through the doorway, then turns to Dean again. “I'm done anyway. Go ahead and ask your questions.” He sits up straighter, hands in his lap, like he's steeling himself for cross-examination.

Dean smiles. “Nah, I'm good.”

“What?”

“I said I'm good. I don't have anything to ask.”

“But Dean, this is your chance. Isn't there anything you want to know?”

“Well, okay, actually there is one thing. What do you really think of my car?”

“She's too big, too loud, and her gas mileage is appalling. But she's beautiful, and I love her because you love her.” The stunned look on Cas's face while all of this spills out of him is priceless. “Also, I'm grateful her backseat is so roomy because I love it when you--”

It's Dean's turn to hastily cover his boyfriend's mouth. “Oookay, thank you, got it, we're done here.” Dean lets his hand drop, and they grin at each other. There's a cool shivery feeling that passes over them both as the spell finishes, and just like that, it's over.

Cas furrows his brow. “Is that really the only thing you wanted to ask me? Isn't there anything else you're worried about, about us?”

“Nope,” Dean says, popping the p. “Honeybee, I understand why you needed this from me. I know you've been hurt bad before, and that it's hard for you to give your trust away. And I know that the stakes are higher for you, because you've got to make sure I'll keep your and Rowena's secrets. And don't get me wrong, I worry about a lot of stuff – climate change, tax season, Sammy's dating life, that weird noise the refrigerator is making... But I don't worry about us. We're solid. I can look at the way you treat me, I can look in your pretty eyes, and I know in my heart that you love me. And now you can be sure that I love you just as much. So, happy anniversary, baby.”

“Happy anniversary, beloved. And thank you.”

“Any time, Cas.”

[justauthoring]

Not-So-Discreet (NRT Bonus Scene)

Prompt: Hey, darlin! If it's ok, could you do a bonus scene of NRT where Malia keeps like discreetly touching and rubbing her head on Y/N to scent her bc she thinks that Y/N smells too much like Stiles, and Scott and Liam are just like "why do you smell so much of Malia?" and then Malia is all flustered and says that she just wanted Y/N to smell like her, please? If you can't, it's ok! Just please answer this saying you can't so I don't keep waiting? Please? Lots of love 💞💞💞

It has come to my attention that by adding links to my posts, it stops that post from being seen in the tags tagged. So, sadly, I will no longer be able to tag previous parts of NRT on new chapters. BUT all part can be found easily on my “No Reason To Series MasterList!”

A/N: Well, here you go ;)

“Why do you smell like that?”

Narrowing your eyes, you jerk back from Scott, raising a brow. “Excuse me?”

Your brother scrunches up his nose, seemingly ignoring your offended gaze as he leans towards you. You watch him with baffled and wide eyes, watching as he just blatantly sniffs you as if you aren’t stood in the middle of the hallway where everyone can see you. Even Stiles, who’s stood beside you, seems absolutely bewildered by Scott’s actions.

After a moment of him just sniffing, it becomes just a tad bit too much. You hastily raise your hand, sending it on Scott’s shoulder to push him back. “Stop that,” you hiss, shaking your head at him as you glance around, feeling your cheeks flush slightly at the odd looks a few passer-byers were sending your way. “What the hell was that, you weirdo?”

“I even have to admit,” Stiles speaks up, frowning over at Scott. “Sniffing your sister? It’s a little odd.”

Cheeks warming, Scott shakes his head. “Sorry,” he mumbles, rubbing the back of his head. “It’s just... you smell different and I can’t quite place it. It’s something i’ve been noticing the past few weeks, but it’s recently been stronger.”

You curl into yourself. “You do realize how strange that sounds, right?”

“My nose is just more sensitive,” Scott defends himself hastily, raising his hands up by his head in surrender. “It’s not my fault. It kind of comes with the whole being a werewolf thing.”

Pausing a moment, you turn to Stiles, raising your brother over at him as he just shrugs his shoulders helplessly. And then, with a sigh, you turn back to Scott, offering him a simple shrug. “I’m not sure what to say,” you mumble, biting your lip in thought. “Nothing’s really changed in my life, so...--”

“Hey, guys.”

You blink, turning to the newcomer which just so happens to be Malia. Lips curving upwards into a small smile, you nod at Malia as she falls by your side, sliding in between you and Scott as Stiles sets his arms around your shoulders, pulling you closer. All the while, you seem to miss the narrowed look Malia sends Stiles’ way. It’s subtle enough that it practically goes unnoticed from everyone.

“How are you?”

“Good,” Malia nods at Stiles, offering a small smile before her attention turns to you. “We’re still on for studying tonight, yeah?”

Nodding without hesitation, you smile over at Malia. “Of course.”

“Again?” Stiles whines, pulling your eyes on him as he pouts down at you. “All you two ever do is study together or watch a movie. When do I get quality Y/N time?”

Rolling your eyes at Stiles, you poke him in the side. “You get quality Y/N time all of the time,” you remind with a soft chuckle, before gesturing over to Malia. “Besides, we’ve got a chem quiz tomorrow that I can’t fail. Neither can Malia.” To back you up, Malia eagerly nods at your explanation.

Then, suddenly, as if reminding you all of his presence, Scott gasps, eyes widening. “That’s it!”

Blinking, you frown.

“What?”

“Your scent,” he grins widely over at you, causing your brows to furrowed, confusion flooding you. Malia and Stiles’ expression mimic your own. “I know who’s it is!”

“Uh.” Stiles mumbles, “wouldn’t it be Y/N’s?”

“You smell like Malia!”

And just like that, the confusion is replaced by surprise. Your body freezes, lips parting as you hesitate on a response. You can feel Stiles’ gaze heavy on your own, brows still furrowed and out of the corner of your eye you noticed Malia shrink into yourself slightly.

It takes you a moment, any reply stuck in the back of your throat. Then, you swallow thickly, coughing. “Well,” you say, your voice shaky, “we have been spending a lot more time together, so...”

“No, no,” Scott shakes his head, grinning like an idiot. “Her scent is all over you,” as he explains himself, his gaze slides slyly over to Malia who’s cheeks are bright red. You’ve never seen the girl embarrassed, like, ever. “That doesn’t just happen because, you purposely placed your scent all over Y/N.”

Okay... this was starting to get weird.

Biting her bottom lip, Malia turns to you before her eyes slide to Stiles’ who stares down at the two of you in disbelief. Then, she shrugs; “you smelt too much like Stiles.”

“Well, that might be because i’m her boyfriend.”

“Whatever,” Malia scoffs, rolling her eyes. “It was annoying.”

Blinking, you shift under Stiles’ arm slightly, lowering your gaze to the floor. You’re not really sure what to say. Why, oh why did Scott have to even bring it up?

“So...” You say after a moment of silence, pursing your lips.

All of sudden, Malia is pushing herself off the wall of locker’s she’d leaned against, pushing past the three of you hastily. “I’ve got to go,” she mumbles, rushing off before you can stop her. You watch her walk off with parted lips, frowning slightly. 

“That was... weird,” Stiles comments after she’s gone, pulling you closer.

“Yeah,” Scott nods, “definitely weird.”

You don’t response, simply stare off in the direction Malia ran off in, frowning heavily.

-

“You know... I don’t mind.”

Malia turns to you, raising her head from the textbook she’d practically shoved it in, blinking. The two of you were back in your place, studying like previously planned. And while it hadn’t left your mind since it happened, the two of you hadn’t even mentioned what had happened earlier that day.

Instead, Malia pretended like it never happened and went on as normal. But, the guilt hadn’t left you, and you refused to leave it in this awkward state.

“What?” She questions with a small tilt of her head.

Placing your hands on either side of you, you scoot closer to Malia, just until your shoulder bumps into her own. You let a small smile fall on your lips as you close the distance between the two of you, growing what most would assume a little close. “I don’t mind having your scent all over me.”

Malia blinks, lips parting as silence floods the two of you.

Then, your eyes squint slightly; “was that weird to say?”

“A little,” Malia shrugs, laughing slightly. “But not to me. I am a werecoyote after all.”

Nodding, you lower your gaze. “I just wanted to let you know,” you begin explaining yourself, licking your bottom lip. “You ran off so quickly earlier and I felt like I didn’t really have the chance to say that I don’t mind nor was I embarrassed. And i’m sorry about Scott and Stiles, they can be really big idiots sometimes.” 

Malia snorts; “only some of the time?”

“Okay,” you grin softly, “all of the time.”

The two of you let out a laugh, meeting each other’s eyes as warmth seems to flood you. It confuses you, this feeling that floods you. You know you’ve felt it before, but you just can’t place it and it greatly confuses you.

“Anyways,” Malia continues after a moment, once your laughter has quieted. “If really doesn’t bother you.” Lips parting, you watch as she shifts, moving until her head is rested upon your shoulder. “Then...”

You don’t say anything in response. And your stomach tightens as if you should push her away for some reason. And then another part of you tells you you should pull her closer. You do neither, mainly because of the confusion it brings you. But also because you’re content sat there, simply just basking in each others presences.

Then a moment later, you let your head fall against her own, staring at seemingly nothing.

You can’t explain it... but it almost feels like attraction. Having Malia so close causes your stomach to go wild with butterflies and you’re nervous, something that has never happened with any of your other girl friends. It’s just... different with her.

And you don’t mind.

-

Let me know what you thought?

This takes place around season four. No real specific moment, just between part two to four. Around there.

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[tisthenightofthewitch]

GHOST ON HOW THEIR SATANIC CATHEDRAL TURNED INTO A FAMILY AFFAIR

Inside the extremely fun and incredibly satanic world of the pop-metal darlings.

Ghost have created something so special, you would almost think they struck a deal with the devil. Since their 2006 formation, the Swedish metal outfit have turned lyrics about defecating the holy eucharist into quaint singalongs, sold marital aids sculpted in the shape of their frontman’s head, performed on late-night TV to an audience of the demonically possessed and are currently playing stadium shows with Metallica—and all the while, they’ve only been giving it about 20-30%.

“This sounds like a joke, and I’m saying it sort of smiling, but it’s true—everything you’ve ever seen us do has always been a lesser version of what I had in mind. Always. 100%. So my original vision for everything is always twice as ambitious and goes through so many changes that we usually end up with 20 or 30% of it,” Tobias Forge says, also currently known as Cardinal Copia.

Forge, 38, is the Walt Disney figure “band boss” who conducts the decadent dark magic and weird whimsy that are Ghost—a band as humorous as they are blasphemous; as Beach Boys as they are Black Sabbath. They’re arguably the only group who can make an ABBA cover feel like it belongs on a record that contains a track about the conception of the Antichrist.

For those still uninitiated in the theatricality of the band’s iconography and public persona, Ghost are a band of nameless ghouls adorned in uniform black clerical garb and chrome-plated devil masks that are blank-eyed and devoid of mouths and any distinctive facial features. Forge has portrayed a different persona for each of the band’s records, always the demonic leader of the group. He’s been four versions of the satanic antipope, Papa Emeritus, over the course of their first three records and currently assumes the role of Cardinal Copia for their latest release, 2018’s Prequelle. Copia is a loose-skinned, expressionless creature of the Id decked out in a lavish tuxedo and inverted crosses galore, but regardless of the persona, the man behind the unholy imp strives to fully embody his role.

“What I like, especially when you’re stepping into a character, is never to be forced to step out of that character, which you have to do at times,” Forge says. “You allow yourself to become that weirdo onstage that dances ridiculously and does those things, and it just comes naturally. That gives me a kick because I personally transform into someone that I’m not really myself, at least when I’m sober. I’m not very much like that guy onstage in real life, but I can invoke that person by getting all that shit on, getting into character and going up onstage and that thing just happens. All of a sudden, I think differently, I say almost whatever comes into mind…it’s allowing yourself to just go on every impulse, and that’s what makes that character funny as well—he’s obnoxious.”

Throughout the history heavy music, there have been many theatrical bands, but Ghost are not only theatrical, they are theater. The band members are fully committed to their parts. The Nameless Ghouls are truly that—Nameless Ghouls; when onstage, Forge is absolved of himself and exists solely as Cardinal Copia. Forge’s full commitment to concept and character requires him to not only assume the roles of songwriter and frontman, but he also serves as the band’s chief playwright and director. Regardless of role or job description, Forge is, more than anything, an artist possessed by one thing: the idea of finding an unpremeditated flow.

“There is a narrative for every album cycle, and I do envision every show as a play, slightly more than your traditional rock ’n’ roll show even though we are a rock ’n’ roll band,” he explains. “It’s also, to the point, theatrical improvisation, in the vein of Bruce Springsteenwhere he asks the crowd, ‘What do you want to hear?’ That would not work with Ghost. It would disrupt the flow. It’s just not orchestrated that way. It’s not written that way. The setlists would crumble as soon as someone would yell out ‘Monstrance Clock,’ which is our last number. If we played that second, it would fuck up the whole thing. Whereas other bands and other artists, like Bruce Springsteen, have such a massive [catalog] of songs. He has so many ballads and so many uptempo songs that he knows that ‘I can play seven of them in the beginning, and it doesn’t matter because I still have 14 of them in the end.’ So he get away with doing four hours of that.

“As I said, I’m a stickler for flow,” he continues. “I really want it to flow like a Karate kata. I really want it to be like The Matrix when everything just slows down, and he just stands there. It just flows right through me. That’s what I want to achieve every night. So therefore, I regard it as a little bit more of a theater play where there’s a script, and my goal is to do it as fluently as I can without thinking. I don’t want to overthink things at all, and once I step into the character, I preferably want to stop thinking, because if I start thinking, then I start going through the moves, and I start faking it, and that’s what I want to avoid. By having a rigid setlist and a plan, I’m able to get myself and everyone else to do that.”

To many, the early allure of Ghost was how fully devoted the group’s players were to their parts, predicated on the clandestine charm of no one knowing the identities of the band’s members. The faces and names of Papa Emeritus and his Nameless Ghouls were completely shrouded in a secrecy that helped ease their fans into fully suspending disbelief and treating the presentation of the music with as much gravitas as a satanic clergy would command. In deep pockets of the sect, the name “Tobias Forge” had been whispered and attached to the Papa Emeritus character for most of their career, but it wasn’t until 2017 that Forge’s identity would be publicly confirmed as the ringleader of the group.

“I had come to a point in my life and in my career where not doing certain things was not doing me any favors,” he reveals. “It was making life hard, harder than I felt was necessary, and I just felt like now, almost 10 years into my career, the time and effort that I’m putting into the visual presentation should be so strong and so overshadowing whatever I do as a person on the side. So far, I’ve gotten the impression that that’s still the case. As long as I don’t overcompensate that, I don’t think that I will ever do anything that will overshadow the real focus of what I want Ghost to be.”

The 2019 Grammys provided Forge an opportunity to further challenge the public’s perception of Ghost. For the first time, Forge appeared in public as himself—stripped of all elements of pagan pageantry and accompanied by his wife. The couple walked the red carpet, posed for photos together and Forge conducted interviews without any trace of his Cardinal Copia alter ego.

“A lot of fans seem to embrace a lot of things that are mine, like my personal traits, and I’ve tried not to bring that into my presentation,” he shares. “But if they hold on to those and want to include it in their perception, there’s really nothing I can do about that. As long as they find that enriching or interesting, then…fine. The only thing would be those fans, who liked Ghost on the premise that it was something that they knew nothing about, and seeing my face on the red carpet may have destroyed all that and they don’t listen to Ghost anymore…OK. Too bad. These are the turmoils and tribulations that you stand in front of as an artist, you know? [Laughs.] You can’t let that dictate your life just because you’re aware of it.”

The meteoric rise of the band’s notoriety is nothing short of stunning. Throughout their career, the throughline of their material is the one thing they’ve never attempted to keep secret—this band make music about worshipping the devil. There’s nothing discreet or hidden. There is no veil of metaphor to pull aside, no subtlety. They write songs about Lucifer, and they perform on a stage that’s designed to give their audience the experience of attending a satanic church service. Throughout their catalog, they have songs that romanticize plagues, call for the coming of the Antichrist and very literally glorify the dark lord Lucifer, yet their latest release was sold in Target stores with two exclusive bonus tracks and a collectible lenticular album cover.

They’re the rare band who can fully embrace controversial and culturally taboo subject matter without listeners having to play their records backward to find it, yet they write such inherently catchy pop hooks that songs such as “Dance Macabre” are the perfect soundtrack for both your occult worship ritual after-party and something you could probably play if you were driving your mom to the grocery store. They’ve found a way to stay true to the Black Mass and still speak to the masses, and with that unique platform comes an extremely diverse audience and a fanbase who has grown out of the traditional heavy-metal demographic.

“When we’re playing bigger places for some reason, it’s a little more of a family event, to a certain extent,” Forge says. “The people are more in tune with the level that what we want to have it because we’ve been trying to get the point across that we want people to be excited. We want people to stand. We want general admission, big floor in front of the stage. I don’t like seeing frowns. I don’t like seeing feet, but you can’t start moshing. You can’t start hitting people. You can’t stage dive because there are kids everywhere, and there are small girls everywhere, and there are teenage boys and girls that cannot lift you because, you know, you’re a 40-year-old hardcore dude with a lot of muscle. You can’t jump on them.

“I think there’s often a clash sometimes—we are a metal band, originally,” he continues. “Sometimes there have been these clashes where you have the die-hard fans who’ve been with the band ever since [the beginning] who are used to going to metal shows only, and they want to claim Ghost as ‘this,’ and at a metal show, you do ‘this,’ and then you have this 15-year-old daughter of a dad, and they did not go to see Mayhem last week, and they were not at Slayer three weeks ago.”

In support of Prequelle, Ghost have been playing two-and-a-half hour sets with the ultimate goal of having their audience “come in overexcited and leave completely euphoric.” Currently, they’re touring as direct support for Metallica. The tour is further indication of the band’s rising celebrity, having earned the opportunity to play a one-hour set every night, but the gig has also posed a challenge to Forge’s ever-persistent pursuit of “flow.”

“It’s very different from the tours we’ve done so far in this cycle, because it’s supporting again,” he explains. “It’s stadiums. We’re playing for one hour, which is nothing for us. But the stage is four times bigger than an arena stage or a theater stage, so there’s a lot of real estate to cover, and it’s daytime. More often than not, it’s going to be maybe sunset, at best, but it’s going to be an afternoon or evening sun, straight in your face and also, not our crowd. It’ll be a Metallica crowd. They’re waiting for Metallica to play, so it’s a different vibe.”

Although touring in the Metallica support slot, Ghost have been afforded their full stage production setup, transforming the nightly stadium into a cathedral dedicated to Copia’s depraved church—giving the performers a fitting stage and the audience a fully immersive experience. Yet, despite the garish stage pieces and meticulously ornate sets that become more and more elaborate with his band’s growth, Forge heeds to the idea that with everything he does, what the audience sees is a compromised version of his initial vision. Whatever you see Ghost do is about 20-30% of what Forge wants it to be. Currently, Forge is fixated on the potential he sees in using the intermission during their two-hour set to elevate the show to the next level of theatricality.

“The idea with the intermission, originally, was for the stage to change so when we open up again, it would be a different stage. Things like that are what I’m aiming to do in the future if we can stay on an arena level, where we can bring our own stage. Then I would like to do that—whatever we started with ends up being something completely different. I want it to evolve. I want it to change, the same as when you go to see Phantom Of The Opera. They change the themes, and it takes you from A to F, and that’s what I’m hoping to achieve in the end. I think we’re doing a good job of getting people happy and euphoric, but I definitely think we could probably shift gears even more to get people completely euphoric when they leave. But it takes time, and there’s a lot of stars that need to align, and there’s a lot of things you need to work your way up to in order to have that consistency.”

So far, the stars have aligned for Ghost in ways that often never manifest themselves past the point of prayer. Their unlikely amalgam of occult phantasmagoria and radio-ready mass appeal is most likely a once-in-a-lifetime deal—but while it’s happening, Forge is fully devoted to serving Ghost’s congregation.

“I have no problem playing the same songs all the time as long as you have a crowd, as long as you have people there to do it with you,” he asserts.. “So that’s the one thing I’m always hoping for…happiness.”

The band’s latest Prequelle is available now here. Ghost are hitting a handful of U.S. festival weekends and returning in September for a full run. You can check out a full list of dates and tickets here.

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