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ffc1cb · 11 months ago

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new art blog

the short version:

1. i made a new art blog: @cbge;

2. @ffc1cb will stay up as an archive.

the long version:

hi everyone. this announcement is somewhat late, since the blog in question has been up for a few months now, and i’ve already started posting art on it. the reason it took me so long to “reveal” it is because i’ve been trying to figure out whether a new blog is something i actually want, or if it's just me throwing darts at a board, trying to make myself feel better somehow.

i don’t know when precisely it all started, but ever since sometime last year i’ve been going through a hard time, both emotionally and creatively. i’m not sure whether being depressed is what made art harder, or art becoming harder is what made me depressed (a bit of both, i think), but lately, drawing has been a struggle.

i’ve found myself having less and less energy for art, and this lack of energy resulted in poorer quality of drawings, which resulted in me feeling like i’m getting worse at it, despite my efforts. i knew i could make good art, art that i’m proud of - i’ve done so countless times before, - but somehow it felt like i just couldn’t anymore, like my hands forgot how to. nothing looked right.

i’ve been trying to experiment. i’ve learned some new things, tried this and that - it was enlightening, to say the least, and even though i kind of liked how it looked, it made me feel a sense of displacement. i was at odds with myself, my art, and how i felt about it, when previously i was always in sync. i was making art, yes, and it looked nice, but it felt like it wasn’t mine.

i suppose part of it was also the growing lack of engagement, and i don’t mean likes and reblogs - i never particularly cared about those. they are all just numbers to me; dry and impersonal. what i’m talking about is actual, human interactions: personal thoughts in tags, asks, replies, etc. a conversation.

i don’t mean to sound “old” or anything, but i remember when talking to artists online was more commonplace. my wife tells me it’s because the internet culture has changed over the years, that people have become more reclusive, less willing to be open with their thoughts, and she's probably right, but in my slump i find it hard to believe. somehow it feels like it’s my fault for being less “engaging”, for seeming unapproachable or perhaps intimidating. maybe it’s “just a skill issue”, maybe it’s because i have stopped churning out fanart for popular fandoms, maybe it’s because i refuse to torture myself emotionally by having an art account on twitter (i can’t fucking stand the place anymore; i still post nsfw art there, but only because it’s literally one of the only places on the internet that allows you to do so. i miss when you could post female presenting tits on tumblr).

i have always, ever since i started posting art on the internet back in 2012, done it for human connection. i wanted to talk to people, and have people talk to me. i wanted to inspire people with my art, and i wanted to bring them comfort. i wanted to elicit an emotional response, and have people tell me about it. it was one of the main reasons i drew in the first place; having lost that, i’ve been struggling to stay passionate about making art.

i miss being a small artist on the internet during the 2010s. i remember when i could make a post going, “hey everyone, how are you all doing today?” and it would not seem weird to people in the slightest. it is just me? does anyone else feel that way? am i too deep in my own head? the internet feels so unwelcoming nowadays, especially to artists. we are all just content machines; people scroll by our stuff, or maybe look at it for half a second and leave a like before scrolling away. i know it’s unfair to demand people’s attention, especially now when our lives are already so overwhelmed by everything - no one has the energy to pay closer attention; i myself am not immune to mindless scrolling. but it feels bad. i wish we were all sincere and enthusiastic again.

anyway (sorry for rambling. i hope i haven’t bored you to death), you might want to say, okay, but how is making a new art blog on a “dying” social platform going to help with any of that? the truth is, i don’t know. i just felt like i needed a change.

i’ve been running this blog since 2016 (that’s almost 8 full years!). i feel incredibly attached to it, but at the same time, i feel it weighing me down.

there are people who followed me years ago for one specific thing, still expecting me to post about said thing (i still find it mindboggling that some people follow artists for a specific fandom only, but that is a whole other matter for a whole other post that i will never write). a third, if not half, of my following are probably dead blogs. and with my current struggle with trying to regain the joy i once felt for making art, looking back at all the art i’ve done over the years makes me feel tired. i still love it all; it’s all very dear to me. i’m proud of it; looking at it makes me mourn my younger and more passionate self.

so i’ve decided to make a new blog, where i will let myself post whatever i want, in whatever stage of donness i feel like. maybe it will help me, somehow. maybe it won’t. but if you care about my art, if you want to keep following me on my artistic journey, i welcome you to join me there. similarly, feel free not to - no hard feelings.

thank you everyone for your support over the years; it matters a lot to me. i’m not planning to delete or private this blog; it will stay up, and i will still be reachable on here. i will still answer asks, if there will be any. i’m just not planning to post any art here anymore. this is it for my dear old friend ffc1cb.

i can be found in other places:

@cbge, as mentioned earlier,

@k0nstanta, an art blog dedicated solely to my wife and i’s ocs,

@inquisimail, a dragon age ask blog that has become my dragon age sideblog in general,

and multiple other blogs, none of which are art related, but feel free to ask, if you’re curious.

thank you very much for reading all of this. i hope you have a wonderful day.

#salt talks

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caligvlasaqvarivm · 8 months ago

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I know you've touched on it in your Gamzee Essay/general alternative timeline post but may I hear some more about your ideas regarding GamTav (or only Tavros)? You get these two in a way the broader fandom doesn't (which is fine, I'll still reblog even the most vanilla ooc art of them) so I'd really love hearing more of your thoughts:3

Ok, I think this is going to be someeewhat controversial, but I think they're destined for pale together, despite Gamzee's initial flushed flirting. I did in fact reread ALL of Tavros's logs for this.

I think the first thing we need to establish is that Tavros actually feels really shitty about himself. It's obvious that his problem is "self-esteem," since he's constantly prattling on about it, but there's a bit he says as Tavrossprite that's pretty enlightening as to where his actions stem from:

TAVROSPRITE: i SYMPATHIZE ENTIRELY WITH YOUR SOCIAL IMPASSE, cAUSING NOT GOOD REFLECTIONS ABOUT YOURSELF, tHAT MAYBE ALSO DOUBLE AS LIBERATING STUFF ABOUT YOU THAT YOU RANDOMLY DECIDE IS FINE SUDDENLY, TAVROSPRITE: oLD ACQUAINTANCES, aND GUYS YOU ONCE CALLED FRIENDS, TAVROSPRITE: tHOSE ARE VERY HARD, TAVROSPRITE: bECAUSE OVER TIME THEY GET EXPOSED TOO MUCH, tO ALL MY FLAWS AND INSECURITIES, TAVROSPRITE: aND THEY START LIKING ME LESS BECAUSE OF THAT, TAVROSPRITE: aT LEAST, tHAT'S HOW THE TRUTH FEELS, iN MY BRAIN, TAVROSPRITE: sO i START THINKING, mAYBE THEY CAN'T BE THAT IMPORTANT TO ME, aFTER ALL, iF i'M GOING TO WANT TO FEEL NOT SAD ABOUT MYSELF ALL THE TIME,

He has a mixture of self-loathing and social anxiety, the latter of which exacerbates the former, as his mind tells him that his friends secretly hate him. However, his real problem is what he then does with those feelings - he avoids them and the situations that cause them. This causes two major knock-on effects: the first is that he actively ends up distancing himself from people who ARE nice to him and DO care about him, only adventuring with Vriska because he's a pushover and she's very pushy (he adventures completely alone up until that point, and winds up sleeping almost all the time afterwards); the second being that, because he refuses to actually sit with and address his negative feelings about himself (or anything else), he's never able to fix them, or remove himself from shitty situations.

Something consistent with Tavros is that every time he tries to make a decision before his death and Vriska-prototyping, it's by trying to rely on something external - whether that's his imaginary friend, his robot legs, or the story of Pupa Pan... or relying on advice from Kanaya, or seeking approval and forgiveness from Vriska, or earning flushed interest from Jade. He believes himself to be deeply flawed and untrustworthy, so he allows other people to make his decisions, and when relationships do get intimate enough that someone might get him vulnerable, he peaces out. Even his ill-fated attempt to kill Vriska is heavily encouraged by Vriska herself:

AT: aND THAT BEING THE CASE, AT: eVEN THOUGH i'M TERRIFIED OF YOU, AT: aND nOT AS STRONG, AT: oR REAL CONFIDENT, AT: oNLY MOSTLY FAKE CONFIDENT, AG: Yeeeeeeees? AG: Go on. AT: i THINK, AT: i AM GOING TO HAVE TO STOP YOU, AG: Yeah! That's the spirit. AG: Pretty weakslime threat there, 8ut it's a start. AG: Tell you what. AG: If you can find me in this la8, you can have at me. AG: I'll even give you a free shot! No funny 8usiness or anything. AT: oK, AT: tHEN, AT: hERE i COME, AG: I'll 8e w8ing. <3

As we see with Jade, whom he's attempting to flirt with flushed, he's actively trying to impress her using "self-esteems" explicitly gained from "fake" things he's acknowledging as fake - that is, refusing to be genuine and vulnerable with her, because he doesn't believe anyone would like him the way he actually is.

AT: bUT WHAT ABOUT, AT: mY ATTRACTIVE BRAVADO, AT: aND IGNORING MY INSTINCTUAL COWARDICE HARD ENOUGH TO SAY THAT i LIKE YOU, AT: iSN'T THAT, AT: sUPPOSED TO BE VERY ATTRACTIVE, aND ENCOURAGE THE MAJOR HAVING OF FLUSHED FEELINGS IN OTHERS, AT: i GUESS WHAT i MEAN IS, wHAT ABOUT ALL MY CONFIDENCE, AT: wHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT,

His "dating" Vriska in the dream bubbles is also dubious and one-sided at best, as John calls him out for faking it and Tavros isn't willing to bring up wanting the Ring of Life because he was planning to propose to Vriska. Thus, once more, he's attempting to use something disingenuous (in this case, a human proposal) to win another person's affection, which he believes would be a symbol of actualizing his "self-esteem".

We also literally see him do the "deciding someone wasn't actually important to you after all, so it hurts less when you cut them off before they can hurt you emotionally by noticing your flaws" thing with Nepeta - he actually quite likes Nepeta, and would certainly have enjoyed having her play the game with him, but he assures her that it's not a big deal basically immediately, and insists he'll just find someone else:

AC: :33 < tavros im sorry i cant be on your team :(( AC: :33 < im not allowed AT: oH, AT: tHAT'S OKAY, AT: tHEN i GUESS HE SAID NO, tHEN, ... AC: :33 < hmm purrhaps AC: :33 < but i still f33l bad AT: i'LL FIND ANOTHER PLAYER, iT'S NOT A BIG DEAL, AT: gOOD LUCK, bEING, AT: oN THE BLUE TEAM, AC: :33 < ok thanks :((

But, perhaps most strikingly, is the way he leaves his good friend Gamzee on read after Gamzee suggests... gasp... intimacy.

TC: WhEn wE Up aNd sTaRt tO KiCk aT ThIs rEd TeAm NoIsE, TC: YoU ShOuLd mAkE YoUr wAy tO GeT YoUr hAnG On aT My hIvE. AT: oH, yES, tOTALLY, TC: We cOuLd sPlIt a tIn oF ThE PiMpEsT SnEeZe i gOt oN HaNd, BaKeD Up aLl sPeCiAl fOr yOu. TC: AnD ThEn mAyBe mAkE OuT A LiTtLe. AT: uH, TC: ;o) AT: , AT: ,,

It freaks him out, and he's never seen hanging with Gamzee again. And this is a huge shame, because not only is Tavros one of the only people who is nice to Gamzee and appreciates his religious beliefs, but Gamzee is one of the only people who hears out Tavros's genuine insecurities and desires without making fun of him:

AT: tHE ONLY THING MORE FLY THAN THE RHYMES, AT: i'M SAYING TO EXPRESS ALL MY MALICES, AT: iS THE ABILITY HE HAD i WISH WAS MINE, AT: iNSTEAD OF i GUESS, THIS EXCESSIVE PARALYSIS, TC: (lOoK OuT FoR ThE HoOk bRo!!!) TC: GeT OfFa tHoSe wHeElS, gEt oFfA ThOsE WhEeLs. TC: If mIrAcLeS ArEn't fAkE He'lL GeT OfFa tHoSe wHeElS! AT: bUT HIGH, iN THIS CASE, hAS DOUBLE THE MEANING, AT: iT MEANS HE CAN FLY, pLUS DOES HIGH SELF ESTEEMING, AT: tHAT'S TWO THINGS HE HAS, tHAT i'D RATHER WERE MINE, AT: hIS TWO FLAPPY WINGS, aND hIS BIG HEALTHY SPINE, AT: oOPS, AT: tHAT'S THREE THINGS,,, TC: GeT OfFa tHoSe wHeElS, gEt oFfA ThOsE WhEeLs. TC: If mIrAcLeS ArEn't fAkE He'lL GeT OfFa tHoSe wHeElS!

(Compare:)

PAT: i'M SORT OF, lYING ON vRISKA'S FLOOR RIGHT NOW, PAT: lIKE, iN HER BLOCK, PAT: lYING DOWN, PAT: uHH, yOU KNOW, bECAUSE i CAN'T WALK, CCG: OH NO SHIT REALLY??? CCG: YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS, WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN.

He isn't able to do a REAL self-confidence at least until he gives Vriska the bird and flies away, for the first time asserting that he thinks she's an asshole and doesn't actually want or need her validation or approval. After that, he's able to convince a ghost army to follow him using friendship and asking and niceness. Breath powers! Also Page powers! Also actual self-esteems! Although I don't personally hold anything after Game Over as anything more than soft canon, I think we can still see a fairly straightforward character arc reach a natural conclusion there.

But as to why I specifically think him and Gamzee are destined for pale, despite what appears to be flushed leanings from Gamzee's end, and despite the fact that I usually believe what the comic tells me, is because what brief few interactions we see between them are very much pale in nature, and it would be kind of narratively bizarre if Gamzee were set up to have a failed moirallegiance - the quadrant described as "soul mates" - without managing to find his real soul mate after. And who's it going to be? Equius? Or the guy that Gamzee literally says he feels "at chill with" talking to?

Gamzee kissing Tavros's corpse is often used as evidence for his desire for flushed, but I disagree - however Gamzee feels about Tavros romantically, kissing a dead player is how you revive them, so it reads to me - especially given how sad Gamzee is about Tavros dying - more like a desperate act to bring him back. Lest we forget, Terezi also gives it a try, and Karkat kisses Kanaya for the same reason - the reality that their extra lives are gone hasn't sunk in yet for these 13 year old kids, so they must try revival even if they know it won't work.

Moreover, Gamzee indirectly describes Tavros as his "best friend," after having called Karkat that through most of the game, and having an implied pale crush on Karkat during that time.

TC: YOU MOTHER FUCKING KNOW, BROTHER. TC: its the fuckin puppet. TC: THE ONE THAT'S ALL GOT TO BE MY BEST FUCKING FRIEND I GOT NOW. TC: now that my other buddy managed to be having his head chopped off. :oC

Moreover moreover, what Karkat cites as being the cause of their moirallegiance's failure is Gamzee's religious beliefs:

KARKAT: HE STARTED GETTING SO UNBELIEVABLY SELF SATISFIED AND PIOUS, LIKE WAY MORE THAN HE EVER WAS BEFORE. KARKAT: LIKE HE'S JUST SO COMPLETELY CONVINCED HE'S FOUND HIS CALLING, THAT THIS SESSION IS THE GATEWAY TO THE PROMISED LAND WHERE HE'LL FULFILL HIS DESTINY. KARKAT: HE'S SO CAUGHT UP IN HIS IDIOTIC SCHEMES HE COULDN'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ME ANYMORE.

Which are explicitly what Tavros invites Gamzee to speak on, and appreciates:

AT: yEAHHH, yOU CAN TALK ABOUT THE CLOWN THINGS, wHICH, AT: i DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND EVER, bUT THAT'S OKAY, AT: bECAUSE IT'S KIND OF FUNNY, AT: wHEREAS, i'LL ADDRESS SOME TOPICS PERTAINING TO MY INTERESTS, AT: aND i GUESS, pERSONAL MOTIFS, TC: YeAh! FuCk YeAh, ThAt Be HoW sHiT's AlL uSuAlLy Up AnD fUcKiN lOcKeD bRo. ... AT: dO YOU HAVE TIME FOR, mY MIRACLES, rELIGIOUS FRIEND, }:) TC: Do yOu gEt yOuR NoTiCe oN Of tHe mIrAcLeS AT: sO MANY, uH, gRATUITOUS EXPLETIVE, mIRACLES, tHE MAGIC MOTHER, aLSO eXPLETIVE, mIRACLES, TC: FuCk yEs, HeReS WhErE ThE SlAm tUrNs tO NoThIn bUt hOnKs... TC: HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk TC: HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk AT: HONK, TC: FuUuUuUuUuUuUuUuUuCk! AT: iT'S LESS APPROPRIATE FOR ME TO DO THE HONKS, tHAN YOU, bUT THAT WAS STILL GREAT, TC: YeAh, BrO. yEaH!!! AT: tHE SLAMS WERE TRULY PRIME, aND, AT: yOUR RELIGIOUS VIEWS, tHOUGH i DON'T SHARE THEM, aRE, AT: rEASONABLY INSPIRATIONAL, AT: i THINK i'M IN THE PROCESS OF RELEASING AT LEAST ONE TEAR,

But also in Tavros's single conversation with Gamzee, we see Tavros stand up to a highblood:

TC: :o) HoNkHoNkHoNkHoNkHoNk AT: }:o), hEH, TC: hAhAh FuUuUuCk, YoU sToLe My FuCkIn NoSe BrO! TC: WhAt GoT yOu EvEn Up ThE gUmPtIoN tO aLl FuCkIn Do ThE sHiT lIkE tHaT? AT: eRR, i DON'T KNOW, iT'S JUST, AT: kIND OF THE OBVIOUS THING TO DO, AT: sTICK THE CIRCLE IN FRONT OF THE DOTS, aND, bEHIND THE BENDY ONE, AT: pLUS, oH YEAH, mY HORNS, TC: hAhAhAhA. AT: mAYBE WE CAN SLAM ABOUT IT, ... TC: fUuUuCk, So FuCkIn FrEsH. TC: YoU nEeD tO bE sLaPpEd FuCkIn SiLlY wItH a MoUtH lIkE tHaT! hAhA. AT: aND, iF YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH IT, AT: tHEN i SUGGEST YOU GO AND RAP IT DUDE,

He feels safe with Gamzee, enough to take a bit of an attitude with him, enough to open up about his insecurities about his disability and how much he wishes he was like Pupa Pan, and Gamzee explicitly states he feels calm when he talks to Tavros, which is the stated function of a moirallegiance.

TC: Me tOo, BrO, yOu mOtHeR FuCkIn kNoW ThErE Be sOmE Of mY EyE's RoYaL JeLlY To gO WiTh yOuR EmOtIoNaL pEaNuT BuTtEr. AT: wHOA, aHA, hA, TC: ThIs iS BeAuTiFuL, dUdE, i fEeL So aT ChIlL WiTh yOu. AT: yEAH, fRIENDLINESS WITH YOU IS, pRETTY MUCH ALWAYS NICE, aND FUN TO HAVE,

And the thing is, trolls are constantly getting into moirallegiances when they want to be flushed (Eridan, Kanaya), having palecrushes when they want to be friends (Gamzee), and winding up flushed with their moirail (pale solfef is forshadowed in the same breath as pale erikar, and they don't seem to confirm a matespritship until after Sollux's actual flushed crush, Aradia, explodes). Especially for Gamzee, who was neglected by his lusus and struggles with social interaction to the point where he feels like he has to hide his real self (casteist beliefs, constant talk of religion and murder, which, by the way, come out when he talks to Tavros), it'd be easy for him to mistake the "instinctive attraction" of moirallegiance for the passions of matespritship.

These thoughts are all pretty disorganized - I'm really sorry, it's super late/early for me and I'm exhausted for other reasons - but I hope that that . was what you wanted? hahah

#homestuck #gamzee makara #tavros nitram #gamtav

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klerothesnowman · 27 days ago

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The New Lower Decks Episode Wasn't About Multiverse Fatigue

I know I usually talk about Star Wars but I like other things that start with Star too! Stargate, Starfox and yes, Star Trek.

I also really, really love Lower Decks. The combination of irreverent comedy and absolutely reverence for a franchise's history and themes is a great combination, no matter what. To bring it back to Star Wars just for a moment, look at the latest Lego Star Wars movie. People love it, and it's got the same DNA as Lower Decks!

But I have a feeling about the new episode of Lower Decks and a cursory search on tumblr suggests I'm the only one feeling it, though people are brushing against it! So I guess I gotta be the one to say it.

Lower Decks is, as an elevator pitch, a Star Trek series starring Star Trek Nerds, made by Star Trek Nerds. Everything in this show drips with a desperate love for every facet of the franchise, from its characters and stories to its themes and universe and this love is reflected in its main characters, especially Mariner and Boimler. Our main pair are absolute giddy nerds every time something Star Trek happens. They lose their minds at the idea of meeting famous Star Trek characters, they know the tropes of a Star Trek episode and get big smiles when they recognize them. Mariner's big emotional climax in Season 4 is even reflective of the way some Star Trek Nerds react to DS9 and post DS9 Star Trek content. It's darker, it's violent, it's big space battles where no one comes out as a hero rather than exploring the galaxy with an optimistic glee. It's not Star Fleet. It's not Star Trek.

These characters are another facet of Lower Deck's desperate love. It's their love for the Fandom.

I'm going to completely contradict my title for a second, yes, absolutely, Boimler's entire character in this episode was about how sick people are of the Multiverse. Because boy howdy are we so fucking sick of it right? We all agree we're sick of it? But here's the thing about the corporate hellscape Multiverse that we're all so sick of.

It's not Gashir being confirmed. No one is making canon alt universes where characters are gay on screen, they were already gay. Yet they're the alternate universe characters who are treated with the most importance.

Garak and Bashir take up a sizable portion of the episodes run time for literally no reason. Their lovers quarrel doesn't matter. You could get rid of Bashir entirely and nothing would change, you'd just need to pad out about 5 minutes of episode. So why was it there?

Because it's fucking Garak and Bashir being on screen gay as fuck, what am I talking about that's worth 5 minutes! And like, yeah, I'm right, absolutely, BUT ALSO?

At the emotional climax of the episode multiverse explorer Lily Sloane convinces Boimler that the multiverse is cool because it's a glimpse into humanities limitless potential. How it's enlightening to experience how different someone could be just because of a minor change in their trajectory. How a completely different team of Avengers would handle the battle of New York, how Spider-Man would be if he was a neo-noir detective, what Hela would be like if she was banished to earth instead of imprisoned.

But that's not Star Trek Multiverses, right? Star Trek multiverses are like... What if we flipped the entire script stuff. Terran Empire and all that. They don't explore minor character changes. They're not about minor variations on beloved characters. This isn't the Star Trek that Lower Decks is dripping with love for.

Another Tumblr user (@abigailnussbaum) had a theory that Curzon was supposed to be Jadzia, because every other character in the crew was "Someone who was screwed by the narrative, writers or just something the fans have long wanted to see"

Another user (@halfbakedideas) said that the episode felt like "a fanfiction writer wrote it"

The reason so much of this episode focused on Garak and Bashir's enduring and perfect love for each other is because the alternate universe where they are on screen gay lovers is the point. It's the beautiful universe that we're exploring.

The episode was about Fan Fiction. It was the Lower Decks writers expressing their appreciation and desperate love for the Fandom writing these characters in new situations, exploring their limitless potential from a narrative position.

#rambling #star trek #lower decks #multiverse #fandom #fan fiction #This show is such a delight and I'm sad it's ending #I really hope the writers get to keep working on this franchise they clearly love #But you know I also hope they get to do their own thing too they're clearly creative people

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mrs-gauche · 14 days ago

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Hey guys! 🙂 It's the end of 2024 and I realized today I haven't posted on here since finishing Veilguard.

Well, to make it short.. since then, I've spent a lot of time thinking about it, replaying it, watching my friends who are DA casuals and not into fandom play it (which was very enlightening but also hilarious 😂), so now.. I feel like I'm at a point where I know exactly what my issues with this game are and I've made peace with it. I still love Dragon Age! And I love parts of Veilguard and I had a ton of fun playing it (though probably for all the wrong reasons 🥲). When I first finished the game, I cried tears of happiness that after ten years my favorite character actually somehow got a beautiful Happy Ending and closure, but also tears of sorrow that this marks the end of the story that was set up back in 2009.. and tears of mourning that this story had all the potential to be so so SO much more.

Dragon Age is a very weird franchise in that all the games have been, in many ways, vastly different from each other and to be a fan of the whole series means to recognize all its flaws and changes, but still loving it because of its unique core elements that glue it together and make it so special. I could sit here for hours trying to put into words what I think went wrong with Veilguard, but I know many people have already done so far more eloquently than I ever could. This blog was always meant to be just a positive little corner to share my love for these games and silly VA stuff with other people and I'm sure I will eventually reblog all the two million posts I've liked over the past month, both positive and critical. But for now and the new year, I want to focus my time and energy on just being creative, getting back to drawing and trying to realize ideas about DA I've had for a looong time and that's my way of "emotionally recovering" (that sounds so dramatic 😂). 💜

With that being said... What a crazy decade year it has been for me personally in this fandom... So I want to look back at it, just some rambling under the cut, 'cause I'm a little sentimental now, I guess. 🥲

Before I created this blog, I was mostly just a lurker on here for many years, despite being a fan of BioWare games since.. uh.. forever? lol But I was always waaay too insecure about my English, let alone my own art. I also have social anxiety, so maybe that was part of the reason why I decided to finally create this blog at a time when the fandom was at its most dormant? lol (There is also a whole separate post for another day about how Mass Effect influenced me personally and how it made my biggest dream come true, the enormous honor to voice a few NPCs in (the German version of) Andromeda. Still the craziest thing to ever happen to me. lol)

So, seeing all the crazy excitement and the fandom fully revived this year and all these months leading up to Veilguard was both incredibly overwhelming, but also the most fun I've ever had as being part of a fandom! This year also marked the first time I posted my own art online and I can't even put into words how crazy it was seeing the response to that and I still can't believe that Trick Weekes not only commented on but also reposted it, that is still f*cking insane to me and I'll never forget the morning I woke up to see that. lmao

So yeah.. THAT happened. Followed by what I think has to be one of the weirdest, craziest marketing campaigns I've ever seen. lol Going back to 2022, we truly had it all...

A title announcement on a random Thursday that was probably done so that it would not be confused with the Netflix series announced a few days later. A tie-in comic more than a year before release that was... a little pointless? lol A vinyl collection that spoiled the composers a year before release. A title change literally two days before the first trailer. A reveal trailer that left many in shock because of its tone shift and complete lack of the former title character. A line of Game Informer articles that left us often times with more questions than answers. Every single article being deleted the very next month due to GI shutting down. An actor panel at SDCC happening right as Sag Aftra went on strike. A "fandom" party that had nothing to do with Dragon Age. Jason Derulo. An artbook that accidentally revealed the release date with its pre-order, which was then deleted. Twice. Memes about roadmaps. A second trailer that in hindsight probably should've been the first one. An audio drama by a different writing team with some baffling (but funny) lore mistakes. A combat showcase starting off with a disclaimer that "footage had been edited due to spoilers"... followed by THE biggest spoiler in literally the first ten seconds. The first IGN video with super spoilery dev commentary. A hand-on preview event with 140 people leading to spoilers galore... Did I mention spoilers? lol

That was when I stopped looking at stuff online, so I don't know what happened after that, but WOW, what a crazy ride that was. 🥲 Truly a DA4 Summer to remember and I'm unironically so grateful to have witnessed it in real time with all of you. 😂

Then finally, after ten flippin years of tinfoiling, speculating, reading crazy development stories and clowning around at every gaming live event, Veilguard was finally released and it will probably go down as the most emotionally charged Halloween of my life. lmao

Then it was time to actually play The Veilguard. Which took me about a month.

A month filled with what I can only describe as a crazy rollercoaster of conflicting emotions. Aside from everything having to do with Solas, I'd say my personal highlights of the entire experience was seeing Felassan (I screamed), the PHOTO MODE and even one hilarious "breaking the fourth wall" moment, where I would frantically run around in Elgar'nan's trap in "Blood of Arlathan", to a point where I would yell at the screen "SOLAS, I COULD USE SOME HELP NOW, HELLO???" and hearing his flippin voice literally two seconds later going "Yes, you called?" and I freaked out so hard I dropped the controller. 😂😂😂 Also, as someone who romanced Alistair in my first playthrough of DAO and brought him to the final battle not knowing he would sacrifice himself, you can imagine my flashbacks when I saw Davrin dying at Tearstone.. who I had romanced. 💀 Or the Dark Ritual flashbacks when I saw Morrigan wanting to talk to me right before the final mission. lol Getting the Felassan rune actually made me tear up a little. There are many little moments like that that I loved or that made me emotional, but ultimately.. Veilguard is a game that, for all the amazing graphics and cutscenes and flashy combat.. the more I think about the story and the lore (or lack thereof), the more I end up confused and trying to figure out what it is that's breaking the immersion to me in a way that the previous games didn't.

But anyway... I finished Veilguard, though the DA craziness of 2024 wasn't over just yet and I didn't know that the best was yet to come in December. lol

So.. Years ago, one of the main reasons I created this blog was to make silly "appreciation posts" about Solas' German VA and ramble on about my love for his performance.. I even remember making a post on here like three years ago talking about how I would sadly never EVER get a chance to meet his VA personally, because that man never ever goes to any fan conventions or public events. lol

Well... GUESS WHO I MET AT THE GERMAN COMIC CON EARLIER THIS MONTH!!!

YES GUYS, without sounding like a weirdo (because despite my obsession with voice acting, I don't care for VAs social accounts or anything beyond their work as a VA), but after years of jokingly referring to this blog as the "Ozan Ünal Appreciation Blog", and kinda the reason I made this blog in the first place, I finally met the man himself and it was probably the best friggin fan experience I could've wished for. 🥲🥲🥲

See, I've met a lot of different VAs at Cons before, who were all super nice and awesome to talk to.. but let me tell you, this guy has such an incredibly contagious positive attitude and charm!! lol Me and my friend were literally the last to stand in line at his booth before the event closed, there were TONS of people (there were quite a few VAs at the Con, but his booth had BY FAR the most people in line the whole day lol) and yet he made sure to take the time to talk with every single person, asking questions, was genuinely interested in our opinions, joking around and just generally SO FRIGGIN NICE. And he's just a very chill and funny dude? lol

And it was so funny, because there were SO many people and yet apparently I was the only person that day to talk to him about DA and Solas and he was SO excited about it 😂😂😂 (I bet like 90% of the fans talked to him about his VA work on Vampire Diaries, The Big Bang Theory, Gravity Falls and Nicholas Hoult lol).

And of course, because DA4 happened so recently, it was still fresh in his memory. He told us that he even watched some Let's Plays and asked what we thought of the game and I'm still laughing so hard, because he was literally like "Oh yeah, the lore is MASSIVE and it was so overwhelming and I could barely keep up with it, the whole time I had no idea what I was talking about.. like, what exactly IS Mythal??" LMAOOO His performance for Solas was so good and so convincing and now I'll always have to picture him standing in the recording booth, no flippin clue what he's actually talking about. lmaoo And then my friend was pointing at me like "She's actually a walking lore encyclopedia" and then he was like "Oh, you should've been in the booth then!" lol

And I'm actually quite upset on his behalf now, because he also told us how, when the English VAs were officially announced, he had actually made a post on social media about how he was returning for Solas in DA4 and how he got in so much trouble for that because EA told him they were going to make an official announcement.... AND THEN THEY NEVER DID??? Like, I was desperately waiting for an announcement about the German voice cast and they simply never made one, we literally had to wait for the credits to be published? (Also, the German and French version have only one female and one male voice for Rook and no one knows what happened there, we tried to contact them about it, but no response so far?? It's like they don't even care.) That's EA for you...

Anyway, we then chatted a bit more about his other work and stuff and he recorded an audio for me (I actually got him to say the "Vir shiral malasa, bellanaris" GUYS AND IT SOUNDS SO GOOD, like I was so nervous, asking "Could you do elven..?" and he was like "Sure, it's been a year, might be a bit rusty" and then he just knocked it out of the park?? lmao So I have both Lavellan's AND Solas' WEDDING VOWS NOW. 😭😭😭❤❤❤❤❤)

So yeah, that was my meeting with Ozan flippin Ünal and what an awesome guy and amazing VA and what an "epic conclusion" of this year of the Dragon (Age) 2024. lol And the timing feels so strange now, because, in a way, it feels kinda like coming full circle?

Like I said in the beginning, for years I was always mainly a lurker in the fandom and the reason why I created this blog was to join in on the hype/speculation train for DA4 and to talk about Solas' German and French voices and share my silly edits and gifs. And now I've played Veilguard AND I've met Ozan Ünal.. both things that, at some point, I wasn't sure were ever going to happen.....

So.. In terms of my fandom experience, this year was crazy and whatever 2025 brings and whatever happens with this blog or DA in general... I love this fandom (especially my little Solasmancer bubble <3) and I love Dragon Age and whoever's reading this, here's to 2025 and I hope you have a Happy New Year!! 💜💜💜💜💜

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laventadorn · 3 months ago

Note

I am madly in love with the way you described Dumbledore in TNER. It's one of my favorite characters, but I know so few works where he really resembles the book version. You've done it perfectly. And I'm curious, what do you generally think of such a controversial personality?

aw, thank you! :3

dumbledore is super polarizing (or do most people hate him these days? i'm always reading pro-snape stories and Dumbledore is persona non grata in those akgjaj not sure how he shakes down in other parts of fandom).

to me, characters are either boring or interesting. within these designations, you can have different shades: "aggressively uninterested" or "just don't think about them at all," vs. "their psychology intrigues me" to "i must hereafter shape my identity around my new blorbo" (e.g. snape!)

dumbledore is my "his psychology intrigues me" type. he fascinates me. what the heck is his deal. he lets harry run around doing the most insane things with monsters and bodily harm, lets snape run around doing the most insane things to his students egos; lets the marauders do whatever the heck was going on there; hires a dude wearing voldemort as an accessory, and gilderoy lockheart -- the list is endless. but then! he's genuinely kind to house-elves. he's completely free of werewolf prejudice, and other prejudices besides (apart from the Youthful World Domination phase in which he hated muggles and stuff). he does seem to be genuinely kind and caring. he's also idolized by the narrative, talked up pretty much at every turn.

there's a kind of cognitive dissonance to the guy.

the narrative for six books: omg dumbledore is THE most amazing. the kindest, the most enlightened, the most trustworthy, the one harry trusts without reserve, the one who gives everyone strength, the only one voldemort fears, defeater of grindelwald, also he loves candy! proof he's the best.

the Secret Backstory dropped in the last book: uhm ACTUALLY

the narrative again: NO HE'S STILL THE BEST. ignore harry dying. THE BEST. ALBUS SEVERUS POTTER. SEE?

to be clear, none of this bothers or annoys me. i just don't think of it that way. what i do think is that JKR was trying to finagle something she didn't quite have the subtlety to pull off.

once we get his full backstory, we have a guy who 1) went through a world domination phase with the man he loved 2) accidentally murdered his own sister 3) realized the path he was on would lead to widespread destruction 4) isolated himself from the world because he couldn't be trusted, either with power or with love.

this is my favorite thing about dumbledore: he locks himself up in a tower because he believes, or understands, himself to be an incredible danger to life and liberty. he cannot be trusted. he proves this over and over: first with the safety of his siblings; then the safety of the larger world; and finally, tragically, the safety of harry. he doesn't even trust himself, although he continues to act as if his judgments are without fault or flaw. he tells harry that because his intellect is greater than most people's, his errors tend to be correspondingly huger -- a line that leads harry to believe dumbledore made the wrong judgement about snape, of course, but which is actually about dumbledore's own youth. but the fact that dumbledore turned down an official position of power (minster for magic) and sequestered himself in hogwarts from a young age, that's him not trusting himself, and knowing it, and removing himself from the temptation of widespread influence and public control.

his past wrong judgements become more impactful when we understand he was in love with grindelwald and probably still harbors some tangled knot of feelings. HP is a series about love -- voldemort never understood it, was conceived in violation of it; harry was protected by an act of love from lily, who died for him, and an act of love from snape, who lived for her. harry's patronus, the purest expression of joy that magic is capable of manifesting, is borne of his own love for his father. harry's enduring love for the family he never knew protects him not only from voldemort's touch but from his influence -- he declares he'll never Join the Dark Side because voldemort killed his parents. "you are protected," says dumbledore, "by your ability to love." this was not true for dumbledore.

harry's love purifies his intent and gives him courage. snape's love (again, see his vow, his patronus) turns him off a path of evil to one of self-sacrifice. dumbledore's love, by contrast, killed his sister, destroyed his relationship with his brother, allowed a villain to rise to power. i just think, damn. what must dumbledore feel when he looks at it that way?

i love the inherent destructiveness of loving something monstrous; loving something when you don't want to. there's a notion that we are what we love, or that our love is some reflection of ourselves. if we look at it like that, then dumbledore loving someone evil says a lot about him. but he was frightened by it, so he locked himself away.

he also combines what appears to be a great capacity for compassion with an equal capacity to sacrifice anything necessary in order to achieve a goal he's constructed as worthy.

this makes sense, too: in a way, he sacrificed himself all those years ago -- his plans, his future, his love, because the price was too high. dumbledore in his youth thought that he could Save the World by controlling people. then he realized that control has only ever doomed the world, but he never quite let go of saving the world. when voldemort rises, dumbledore takes a different tack of becoming a private general, or perhaps a military advisor: still largely removed from the thick of war but directing others, who are relieved and grateful to have his plans of attack. he also deeply inspires people, harry being one of the most powerful examples. harry places his absolute trust in dumbledore, believing that this person loves him (which he does) and will always protect him (which he can't) -- and dumbledore betrays this trust by openly acknowledging that, for the freedom of the world, harry needs to die.

it hurts dumbledore to realize that harry has to die in order for the world to be saved; it hurts him so badly he (as i see it) pawns off the truth-telling to snape. he can't look snape in the eye when he tells him; he can't look at anything. he shuts his eyes as if blindness will make it easier.

dumbledore could face the truth, the necessity. he doesn't say "we'll find another way," he says "harry must die." but he couldn't face harry. his desire to save the world once again places him in a position where he has to hurt someone he loves. and he does it. in a way, he keeps playing himself.

i LOVE that.

.....i wrote a lot more than i thought i would akgajgkahjh well, he's one of your favorites, so hopefully you didn't mind!

#laventadorn replies #tner tag #kinda?? i mean it's how i write him in tner #i also hope i didn't say anything too super incorrect bc it's been a while #any recent dumbledore lore...dumble-lore... i won't have incorporated cuz i don't know it HAAha!#also i still have Ramen Brain so i hope this makes some sense....somewhere.....

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theamethystvampiress · 17 days ago

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TW: I mention the topic of mental health and suicide.

I don't know how to say this, but here it goes:

On Christmas Eve, Joseph Mawle posted his second post since October, shortly before the end of the second season of Rings of Power.

In the post, he shared how hopeful and happy he is, and he mentioned how, this time last year, he didn't know if he even wanted to be here, but that now he does and he feels better.

I am really happy for him, as I remember how he said in late summer he was taking a break from social media and acting temporarily, so that he could focus on his mental health with professional help.

There was a long time where we neither heard nor saw Joseph.

Him posting, as well as sharing that he was struggling with mental health, but that he is feeling better now and much happier, is an incredible honor that he even shared it with us in the first place.

However, I did notice that there were some negative responses to this.

I actually saw someone who, whether they realize it or not, was stigmatizing him for it, by acting like he shouldn't have said that or posted that, and they didn't like him mentioning the quote: "self harm" bits.

Let me be honest with you:

Acting like someone is weird or shocking for detailing their mental health struggles on THEIR POST is a low and pathetic blow. It is dangerous to act affronted or disgusted with someone who was struggling or got help.

This is unacceptable for the same reason the jokes and ridicule were when Chappell Roan sought treatment for mental health.

It's Joseph Mawle's Instagram, and if feels like he needs to say something about it, that's HIS BUSINESS, not yours to decide to stigmatize him for it.

Also, to anyone on here that thinks they're so enlightened, half your media and content you consume depicts stuff you need trigger warnings for.

Let's not forget that a vast majority of content in this place has mentions of suicide or unaliving.

I especially found it disturbing that someone from the ROP fandom acted weird about his latest IG post, especially since nobody had a problem with season 2 ROP interview where it was mentioned that Adar didn't want to live anymore, he was living for the Uruks.

I am tired of people stigmatizing and bullying Joseph.

It all started with that stupid idiot from the Fellowship of Fans, who pretended like he knew everything, and LIED about some stupid rumor that Joe stayed in character when he did not. (Jed Brophy and his son, Sadowyn defended Joseph, and said this wasn't true.)

Fellowship of Fans was ALWAYS flawed and just a useless gossip source, remember when they said Bridie Sissoon was Sauron?!

Anyway, basically, I'm just fed up with the double standards: It's okay to consume media about mental health struggles and people's problems, it's just not okay for the amazing talented people who entertain on the daily to have struggles.

I really care about Joseph Mawle, and I just don't want people stigmatizing or bullying him.

I feel like some people just like to poke fun and bully him.

Be nice.

#joseph mawle

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cardinalcanis · 3 months ago

Text

Fire and Blood part 2: The intervention.

[Part 1] [Part3]

Summary: By Tyberos request, Ovidious agrees to try and speak some sense into Zadkiel.

TW: Some good old angst.

Word count: 2498

Collab fic with: @jaghatai-khock

Tag squad (let me know if you wish to be tagged on stuff): @druidwolf21 @wolf-feathers12 @artemisareia @cosmic-cryptid-from-beyond @adhd-fandom-hyperfocus

@gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan

@kit-williams

@egrets-not-regrets

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Ovidious Sulla, Head Logistician of the Adeptus Logisticarum, lit a cigarette on a candle cluster by the elevator remembering how he had promised Guilliman to reduce his amount of smoking. His beloved could relax as he hadn’t broken the vow, this was the only one he had smoked today, setting aside Sulla hadn’t been up for long still.

He leaned on the railing, overlooking hundreds of floors down of never sleeping voidship activities. Crew, serfs, Space Marines, servitors, guards… the list of roles and positions that composed the lifeblood of the Macragge's Honor could reach the end of the fall if he let the full list unfurl from where he was standing.

“If you would excuse me, Lord Logistician.” The gray giant accompanying him spoke in spotless high gothic, his tone sober and formal. “Would you specify what service does this indulgent stop provide towards our endeavor?”

There was a time where the very presence of the so-called Emperor’s Angels would tie his stomach into a knot, but the frequent and intense exposure that his position and place of work provided made for the best shock therapy. Even though from time to time he had to re-adapt to the new ‘flavors’ of less populous chapters, as all things considered the sons of Guilliman were pretty ‘normal’ even if that normal cannot be properly used with Astartes.

He inhaled more of that poisonous smoke that dulled his anxiety. Tyberos wasn’t Guilliman’s gene-son nor anybody he may have had the credentials to know of, after the uncomfortable silence he was met the first time he asked Ovid knew it wasn’t a good thing to repeat. Even with the Space-Shark’s eyes being orbs of pure black devoid of all light and his exposed upper jaw full of serrated sharp teeth; he didn’t unsettle him as much as Zadkiel did.

“You are made so you would know no fear Chapter Master, I have no such thing backing me up.” He answered, strings of smoke coming out his mouth and nose as he spoke.

“I have never heard of fumes that were capable of dulling fear, this is an interesting discovery you have brought to my attention Lord Logistican.”

Ovidious let air quickly through his teeth in a hiss, unsure if the marine was being sarcastic or truly innocent. He was more on putting his money on the second one, it was surprising how little Astartes knew of normal everyday human life.

“There is no such thing, Red Wake.” Sulla stepped away from the railing, approaching one of the many well polished Ultramar symbols on the walls where he could check on wrinkles on his clothes or if his hair was in order. Vanity to an observer but to Ovidious was an attempt at keeping a sense of control that would bring calmness.

“Your heart is beating at an accelerated pace Lord Logistican, your fear remedy seems to be a faulty version.” Tyberos kept observing him in stoic guard. “It puzzles me, if you could enlighten me, why is your chest experimenting with similar vibrations as if it were receiving the recoil of an automatic gun?”

“Is called anxiety, Tyberos.” He answered.

“I am knowledgeable about the fact that said emotion exists. But my interrogant goes towards asking why would your chest do such a thing, Lord Logistican?” The man pressed on.

“Because I am anxious, Tyberos.” Ovidious answered with a degree of frustration, he threw his cigarette butt on the floor and stepped on it close to where a servitor was sweeping the floor.

“I see no reason for your anxiety, Lord Logistican.”

“Are you aware of the…” Ovidious grunted and exhaled, from all the possibilities of his future, being the grounding touch of reason for a gaggle of giant superhumans with complicated family history wasn’t on the list. “Come, we better find Zadkiel before a blood angel or Emperor forbid Guilliman gets in the room, the last thing I need is someone trying to step in and babysit the man from reality, again.”

“There is to say, Lord Logistican, that the depths of my gratefulness towards you for attempting to confront my adored one about what ails him have no bounds.” Even with his size and layers of ceramite of armor, Tyberos walked with a level of unnerving silence. One could forget he was following if not directly conscious that he was.

“There are many things about Zadkiel that worry me, this is not going to be the first battle.”

To say that Ovidious was terrified of Guilliman’s nephew was an understatement, there was a chronic lack of attention towards what really mattered about him. He was a feral beast wearing the skin of an angel, doing a forceful and conscious pantomime to act like one, feeding into his beloved and priest’s delusion alike.

“The Lord of Ultramar did make a fine choice by letting you claim him as your bounded pair to mate with.”

Ovidious turned around on his spot, the soles of his shoes crying on the polished floors.

“I have no idea what Zadkiel told you about… that.” Ovid’s voice as much of a whisper as he could, he eyed around for nearby spectators. “But please speak no word of it.”

The Space Shark tilted his head to the side, curiosity forming on his face.

“About your bond with the Lord of Ultramar or that you are the one who…”

“Neither, Astartes.” he interrupted. “Neither.”

“Lord Logistician are you…?”

“Not the time for this conversation Chapter Master.” His voice took the higher pitch on his registry, Ovid swiped in the air with his hands dramatically several times as he spoke. “Look, we are almost there.”

As stated by the Astartes the hallways were empty of anyone who could overhear, but also anyone that could call for help in case things went south. He wished that Tyberos would be enough backup to protect him, even though he knew that the difference between a human and an Astartes was similar if not smaller to the one between a Astartes and a Primarch. As much as Roboute melted in his hands Ovidious was well aware, and had reported evidence of, that he was capable of punching the flesh off his bones faster than any astartes could react if those were his wishes.

That was another reason for his long list of traits that made him afraid of Zadkiel. Guilliman would not fight to the extent his own strength would harm him, just strike hard enough to get the desired result. From what he had read, from what the Lamenters had spoken of; Zad fought with no regard for his own safety, would break his hand with the punch if needed and would always strike at full force no matter the target’s size.

Now in front of Zadkiel’s bedroom door Ovidious felt like the not even strong enough veal looking down the barrel of the bolt gun between its eyes at the slaughterhouse. Going by snippets from Guilliman’s confessions, sometimes he felt like the Emperor forgot to add the ‘emotional intelligence and regulation’ gene when he created the primarchs and made it the whole galaxy’s problem, and ten thousand years later he has been the one chosen on a holy mission to fix it. He asked the Emperor for forgiveness due to his thoughts every time it passed by, symbolized by the candle he lit everyday at the altar.

Tyberos grabbed his arm before he was able to knock, the gray giant stood in front of the skull faced terminal by the door and got showered by red light. It produced an approving sound when the authorized genetic imprint was logged, allowing the door to be opened.

Guilliman was pragmatic and conservative with decor, but his nephew’s ‘minimalism’ was concerning. The room was almost bare, the ungenerous amount of furniture pushed to the corners leaving no way they could block the field of view. Any mirrors were turned or covered like if it were a storage room. Zadkiel’s gigantic bed was in the farthest corner with a view of the whole room, Ovid found the degree of childish flavor of it a bit disquieting for a man ten thousand years his senior. Colorful pillows, plushies and blankets were overflowing out of it, no idea how the lad was capable of sleeping on it. But knowing Primarchs Zadkiel didn’t need to sleep at all. Any spectator would be able to discern how old and worn down the plushies were, there was clear intent spent on keeping them in good conditions with plenty of attempts on mends and repairs.

And there he was, just as the rest of the objects in the room he was hugging a wall. But the pose seemed unnatural, the man’s face was pressing straight into the walls in some kind of shaky and obscure trance. He turned to them at impossible speed, looking more like a distressed owl creature over its kill. With the same quickness Zadkiel’s gestures softened, a cold tingle overcame Ovidious by the impression that the Primarch’s bones themselves had morphed and rearranged themselves to put up with the appearance he was approaching them with.

“What a delightful surprise, mine and my uncle’s beloved are gracing me with their presence right in my humble room.” This new persona was airy and angelic, almost fluttering above ground with the fragile flutter of a butterfly. Ovidious recognized those gestures and poses, the paintings of Sanguinius descending gracefully upon his people. “What is the occasion? Wait, let me guess.” he smiled from ear to ear with naive glee, exposing his long canines. “You wish to help you propose to Guilliman don't you uncle Ovid? I have the best idea, we’ll need a proper white suit that is not as… conservative as what you tend to prefer, 10,000 blue roses…”

“That is not the occasion.” Ovidious waved the concept of a proposal away with a polite yet awkward smile. “We wish to speak with you due to recent and past concerns Tyberos and I share. You see, Tyberos informed me of the… incident that happened to you recently…”

Zadkiel’s wings trembled slightly before the grandson of the Emperor looked for the next correct pantomime to respond with. The primarch fell to his knees in front of Sulla, his hands between his. He trembled with the thought of how easily Zad could crush them, how those arms could be as thick as his ribcage.

“I am so blessed to have such caring men in my life.” His tone soft, eyes of a confused abandoned fawn. “I am feeling better, it was just a slip. Get in my shoes, not everyday I see living ghosts of my father, but I am at ease now. You need not to worry for me uncle Ovid, you already have so much to carry when helping my uncle.” Another pose and expression Ovidious knew from all the Ecclesiarchy’s depictions, Sanguinius kneeling and crying when first meeting the Emperor.

Tyberos hadn’t moved an inch, what a great protector he had. Ovid tried to take his hands away with the least threatening gesture he could and politely put some space between him and Zadkiel. His fear was in the process of being eaten by an equally stronger force: anger and frustration. If someone had stepped in earlier the… man in front of him wouldn’t be forced into this ridiculous set of poses and canned soothing phrases.

For the first time ever the Head Logistician looked directly into Zadkiel’s bloody red eyes, the pupils on those shrinked slightly into a slit at the sense of possible challenge.

“Who are you?” Ovidious asked flatly, devoid of emotion. Making Tyberos raise an eyebrow.

“What do you mean uncle Ovid?” Zad’s wings spread themselves on the ground, trying to give the appearance of a broken pigeon. “You know who I am, I am Zad.”

“Who are you?” inquired again crossing his arms behind his back, eyes glued on Zadkiel’s.

“This is ridiculous Uncle, I am Zadkiel!” Rose his voice the Primarch, breaking some of the halo effect around him. Back feathers rising slightly.

Sulla noticed Tyberos by the corner of his eye, taking one step forwards.

“Who are you?” Repeated Ovid, who could barely hear himself over the beating of his own heart at the base of his throat.

“I am Zadkiel, Son of the Angel, Primarch of the Lamenters!” Zad’s nails left long jagged marks on the floor, his wings extending menacingly like an eagle descending over prey. “And I will not partake in whatever game that you have come up with uncle!”

“I am confused,” Ovid said in a soft yet detached tone. “You say that you are Zadkiel, but all I see you present yourself as is Sanguinius.” He paused, “Who are you?”

Zadkiel’s eyes opened widely, wings semi raised but stiff as a taxidermy. Only the sounds of the ship’s rumbling echoed across the room, worrying Ovidious even more. Direct anger is easy to deal with, is clear, but silence? So much uncertainty.

“You do not know what you are talking about.” Zad said apprehensively, baring his teeth and hugging himself. Wings contracting to cocoon around his body.

“Enlighten me then, because all I see is a forced attempt to…”

“WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT FROM ME THEN!” the winged Primarch screamed standing to full height. His wings extended shadowed both Ovidious and Tyberos who had gotten a bit closer to the human. “THIS IS ALL THEY HAVE EVER ASKED OF ME, ALL THEY WANT AND CLAMOR OUT OF ME, WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT ME TO BE UNCLE?” Zadkiel’s pupils had fully shrinked into thin slits. He walked as close to Ovid he could before the Astartes got in the middle, but walked past, he punched the wall and pulled the metal out as easy as peeling fruit. “THIS IS ALL I AM, A MONSTER, FERAL, UNLOVABLE. YOU WANT ME TO NOT BE LIKE MY FATHER BUT THAT IS THE ONLY PART OF MYSELF THAT I DO NOT FEEL REPULSED BY!”

Ovid’s ears were ringing due to the volume of the scream, he had to support himself off Tyberos for his legs not to fully fail him. This is it, they are looking at death right in the eye and it is angry. Zadkiel’s anger was primal, yet supported by layers upon layers of sadness. Under every screamed word there was the silent wail of a prisoner who had stopped fighting his capture way long ago.

Afterwards, nothing. The Death Angel’s wings contracted back into his body as he himself was hit by a wave of… nothing, as if all the emotions had abandoned him leaving an empty shell where a man used to be. He moved with calm surgical precision in one single direction, towards his sword.

Tyberos grabbed his bolter but to his surprise Zadkiel kept walking after grabbing the sword, closing the bathroom door behind him with a single metallic ‘click’.

#fanfic #warhamer 40000 #my writing #wh40k oc #m!oc #primarch #w40k #warhammer 40k #dad!sanguinius au #zad tag #warhammer fanfic #Collab fic #tyberos #tyberos the red wake

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vilevenom · 3 months ago

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I know it's not an ideal time to post, but I won't be home to post on Halloween proper, so you get this now. Just a cute little somethin' somethin', playing around with the movie!verse boys on Halloween 😊

Little Ghost

Fandom: Sonic the Hedgehog (movie universe)

Pairing: Gen, Sonic/Shadow if you squint

Summary: The boys learn about pumpkin carving and go trick-or-treating

Sonic grinned to himself as he zipped through the forest back to the Wachowski's house. Or, rather, his home, as Maddie insisted he call it. And he supposed it really was home now, with how the Wachowski's had truly opened their home to him, his adoptive little brother and rowdy best friend. He sighed happily as he skidded to a halt in the driveway, orange and red leaves swirling around his feet as he looked up at the house, warmth bubbling up in his chest at seeing the Halloween decorations he, Tails and Knuckles had helped put up only the day before. Today they would be carving up the pumpkins Tom had picked up from the market, to join the one Maddie had brought home from the clinic (gifted to her by one of her patients 'parents'). He was more than elated to get to experience such a simple tradition; one he'd watched countless families partake in over the years that he finally got to join in on, himself.

He was about to trot into the house to see if he could help Maddie set up the pumpkin carving station (she'd noted that it would take up a fair bit of space, and that it would be best to do outdoors or the garage) when he spotted Shadow standing just before the front steps of the house, staring down at the pumpkin Maddie had brought home from the clinic. Curiosity piqued, Sonic strode over to his self-proclaimed rival instead, an easy going grin on his face as he came to a stop next to the dark hedgehog.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Shadow jerked slightly at Sonic's words, turning a sharp glare on the other. "My thoughts are worth more then a mere cent."

"It's a figure of speech," Sonic snorted, hands on his hips as he casually rocked on the balls of his feet, "it means 'what are you thinking about', without being so boring."

"Hmm," Shadow eyed Sonic, a doubtful look on his face, before turning his gaze back on the pumpkin, "I was just wondering…why the gourd has a face cut into it."

"Oh, that? Maddie brought it home from the clinic. It's a decoration," Sonic said with a shrug, "Y'know, like the ones we helped put up yesterday?"

"I was not here yesterday," Shadow stated bluntly, folding his arms over his chest, "I was with Commander Tower."

"Right, GUN stuff," Sonic nodded idly, mirroring Shadow's stance absently. "Well, long story short, we helped put decorations up for Halloween yesterday, since it's in just a couple days." He paused, scrunching his nose up a little, "You do know what Halloween is, right?"

"Enlighten me."

Sonic made an incredulous noise at Shadow's blasé response, tossing his arms into the air. "Why, only the greatest holiday, next to Christmas, of course!"

"I am familiar with Christmas," Shadow offered, turning bodily towards Sonic to give the other his full attention.

"Okay, well, replace Santa with skeletons, presents with candy, and having a heartfelt family dinner with dressing up in costumes, and you've pretty much got Halloween."

"…That explained nothing," Shadow snorted, glaring at Sonic.

"Hey, I'm better at showing, not telling," Sonic said with a shrug, easy grin settling back on his face. "Anyway, are you sticking around today? We're gonna carve up some more pumpkins in a bit, to fill out the rest of the steps."

"I suppose I could stay a while longer," Shadow said with a small nod, flicking his gaze back to the pumpkin in question, "I am still curious as to why the gourd needs a face."

"...We'll ask Tails to google it."

Pumpkin carving was an adventure in and of itself.

First, it turned out that the reason the pumpkin needed a face was an old human tradition, which involved using the fruit as a ward against an evil spirit entering your home on All Hallows Eve. Finding that out resulted in Tails spiraling down a rather interesting rabbit hole of fun facts about Halloween that Shadow was more interested in than Sonic honestly thought he would be.

Second, once Knuckles found out that pumpkins were edible, it took both Tom and Maddie to keep him from scarfing down one of the smaller pumpkins in the pile whole. As it turned out, the pumpkins were very similar to a fruit the echidna had eaten with his tribe as a child. He only stopped trying to steal the rest of pumpkins when Maddie promised to buy him a pumpkin pie that he could have all to himself.

Thirdly, it turned out that Shadow was not a fan of the slimy innards of the pumpkins, and immediately peaced out from helping to hollow them out as soon as he touched a stringy glob of pumpkin guts and seeds. Sonic was worried for a moment that the dark hedgehog would disappear back to wherever he went when he wasn't at the Wachowski's (Sonic had a funny feeling he'd starting living in Sonic's old cave), however he simply scooted away from the pumpkin Sonic was digging into with a spoon, a frown on his face and arms crossed over his chest.

"The best part is carving the face, anyway," Maddie offered when she noticed Shadow's sullen look, the dark hedgehog's ears perking at her comment. He arched an eyebrow at her, earning a light laugh from the vet. "You can make any design you want. It doesn't even have to be a face, if you don't want."

"Oh, he wants," Sonic interrupted, leaning in to block Maddie's view of Shadow, "We're going to make the scariest pumpkin of them all. Aren't we, Shadow?" Sonic turned an expectant grin on the darker hedgehog, fully expecting some sort of snarky quip from the other, but was pleasantly surprised by the sudden determined expression and nod he got, instead.

In the end, the Wachowski porch was adorned with a traditional squared toothed, grinning pumpkin (Tails), a pumpkin with a cat carved into it (Tom and Maddie), a round eyed, lopsided smiling pumpkin (Knuckles), and a jagged toothed, angry looking pumpkin with it's carved out innards spewing from between it's teeth (Sonic and Shadow). Sonic bounced on his toes as he stepped back from positioning his and Shadow's pumpkin on the stairs, a proud little smile on his face as he planted his hands on his hips and turned to the perpetually frowning hedgehog.

"Well? What did you think?"

"Of what?"

"Of what," Sonic echoed with a snort, rolling his eyes, "Pumpkin carving! Even if Tails' research said the tradition goes back to, like, the 1800's or something, I'm sure you didn't get much pumpkin action on the ARK."

"No. We didn't," Shadow admitted with a small shrug, arms folding over his chest. "This was…entertaining. Our pumpkin is the best one."

"Of course it is," Sonic scoffed, waving a hand through the air, "We carved it. It had to turn out awesome."

Shadow gave a small nod, beginning to turn as he dropped his arms to his sides. "I should be going…"

"Wait!"

With an arched brow Shadow paused, clearly unimpressed with Sonic delaying his departure.

"Uh…Will you be back for trick-or-treating?" Sonic didn't mean to sound hopeful. He knew going door to door and collecting candy was probably the farthest thing from an activity Shadow would willingly participate in, but he couldn't help himself but to ask.

"Trick-or-treating?"

"Yeah, man. You dress up in cool costumes, go around to peoples houses and collect candy. Y'know, like that tradition Tails read to you, about appeasing spirits and disguising yourself and stuff? This will be the first year for all of us," Sonic offered, rubbing the palm of his hand absently against his hip, "I think Tails said he's gonna do some sort of android thing, and Knuckles is gonna be a 'plucky street walker'. Don't ask me what that is, I think he watched a movie or something with Wade's mom."

"…And you?"

"Me?"

"What are you planning for your costume?"

Sonic let out a short laugh, shrugging his shoulders a little, pleased that Shadow hadn't scoffed at him and disappeared in a flash of light over something as 'childish' as collecting candy. "There's so much to choose from! I think, maybe a werewolf? Maddie showed me a couple of neat ideas I thought were kinda cool. Plus, it's kinda a traditional costume, and I wanted to do this right my first time 'round."

Shadow let out a little humming sound, before nodding slightly at Sonic. "I will think about it," he stated, before disappearing.

Sonic sighed, staring off into the tree line, his shoulders and ears drooping. The last time Shadow had told him he'd 'think about' something the dark hedgehog had totally ghosted him over a sleepover. So much for his hopes of having everyone together for one of their first big family holidays.

"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!" Tails called from the doorway, his namesake swaying behind him impatiently, "We're burning precious candy collecting time!"

"I thought you said your map would, and I quote, 'optimize the amount of candy we could get in the shortest amount of time;?" Sonic teased, flicking one of the little pieces of metal Tails had meticulously attached to his fur to give the illusion that he was part robot.

"It will," the fox kit reassured, puffing up his chest.

"Then chill out, little bro," Sonic said with a bright laugh, "There's loads of time."

"Picture time!' Maddie called as she lead Knuckles from the bathroom, where she'd helped the echidna meticulously apply make-up and style his quills into a bun. He was wobbling a bit in a pair of high heels, but Sonic was overall impressed with how steady he was. He'd tried on a pair of Maddie's shoes once before, and it had not gone so well.

"Everyone gather in front of the holiday ghoul," Tom directed, gesturing for the boys to huddle in front of the zombie figure that was stood next to the front door and held a bowl of candy.

Sonic bounced into his spot between Tails and Knuckles, shoving a pair of plastic fangs into his mouth and striking a hunched pose with a growl, his quills bristled and teeth barred while the others posed according to their own costumes. Maddie giggled as she snapped pictures on her phone, the boys laughing along as they struck different poses for her.

"All right, all right," Tom finally called, waving for Maddie to stop with a smile of his own, "If we hold them up much longer, it really will eat into their candy time."

"Okay," Maddie sighed. "Well, you boys have fun! And no tricks! Just treats. Be safe."

"Yes, Maddie," all three boys chimed as Tom leaned in to give his wife a kiss.

"We'll be back around nine," Tom hummed as he opened the door, ignoring the chorus of groans from the boys.

"That's so early," Sonic grumbled the loudest, freezing as Tom opened the door, spying a certain black and red hedgehog stood at the bottom of the stairs, a dark cape draped around his shoulders. "Shadow! You came!"

Shadow jerked back slightly as Sonic zoomed down the stairs and enveloped him in the briefest of hugs, a quiet grunt leaving him as Sonic quickly backed off. "Hm. I wanted to see what the fuss was about."

"Oh! You look so cute! Are you a vampire?" Maddie called from the top of the stairs, her phone already out and snapping pictures.

"It is a traditional costume," Shadow said with a short nod, gesturing vaguely at Sonic's werewolf outfit, "I thought it would work well, given my color scheme."

"It does. You look great," Maddie said, frowning slightly at Shadow's empty hands, "Do you not have anything to collect candy in?"

Shadow blinked, glancing down at Sonics hands, where he was clutching an old pillow case. Likewise, Tails and Knuckles were also holding old pillowcases, while Tom had a backpack, where they were obviously planning to dump their bags when they got too heavy or full. "I…" Shadow began, muzzle flushing, only to pause as Sonic shoved his pillowcase into Shadow's hands.

"Give me two seconds," the blue hedgehog said, zipping away in a blur, only to reappear with another old pillowcase in hand a moment later. "There! Now we're all set."

"Have fun, boys!" Maddie called from the doorstep as a handful of kids began to filter into their yard, her attention diverting to handing out candy.

"Thank you, Sonic," Shadow murmured as their little band began to meander down the driveway, his face ducked slightly.

"Hey, it's no problem, Shads," Sonic hummed, reaching out to tug Shadow into his side, "I'm just glad you showed up."

Shadow lifted his head, offering Sonic a rare, fleeting smile. It left a warm feeling swirling in Sonic's gut, and a flush on his own muzzle.

"I appreciate the invitation."

"Yeah, 'course. Anytime."

#sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #sonic movie fanfiction #knuckles the enchilada #miles tails prower #tom wachowski #maddie wachowski #sonic fanfiction #sonadow #if you squint #things that i wrote

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 1 month ago

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Hello! I just had the urge to send you this after some of the rude sounding asks you've been getting.

Thank you for sharing your passion for twst. I love reading your writing, be it analysis posts, hypothetical stories, or even just hype posts when they come across my dash. (My personal favourites were the Crewel stories after his card dropped.)

Whether or not I agree with some of your opinions, they're always enlightening in terms of a new perspective around twst.

Thank you again and I hope nothing will ever sour your personal connection to twst.

[Referencing this blog event!]

Thank you for the feedback and encouragement! As I said in my most recent response, I genuinely don't think most "rude" asks are intended to be that way. Some people might not understand how their words could come off to others or just have a blunt way of speaking. It's very different than an ask that is intentionally malicious or written with anger. Of course, I might still feel weird regardless of the intent but at least if I think the sender didn't mean to be hurtful then I can reply and explain how they made me feel. Then that hopefully lets the sender (and maybe others!) know to be more careful with how they express themselves.

At this point, I've seen so many things happen in the fandom (both really wholesome and truly terrible) that I don't think anything can faze me anymore. Something like this (an accidentally rude ask) is just small beans compared to the other stuff I've witnessed and experienced myself (which I won't get into) 💦 This isn't that big a deal, so don't worry--I'm okay!!

I'm happy that you like my work! The blog has definitely evolved to be more of a variety pack over the years, and I think that's really for the best (at least in terms of my own enjoyment). I really like being able to just talk about whatever thoughts strike and (for the most part) having mindful discussions about Twst content.

sadhlbbasidlvsaeal I was actually really nervous about those Crewel interactions... I'm not super into the source material and there's so much less staff content to go off of, so I felt that I was going into that blog event pretty blind. I'm pretty proud of myself for managing to get through it and getting the seal of approval from a few of my Crewel kisser friends and readers like yourself 😭 Once again, thank you and I hope you continue to enjoy what I put out!

#twst #twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #notes from the writing raven #feedback for the writing raven #Divus Crewel

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ca-suffit · 6 months ago

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Hi. I love your blog. Good conversations are happening here and I love reading through them all. I have a question re: the depiction of Louis as a woman in what I don't believe to be AU scenarios. Forgive me if my vocab is a bit stilted, English isn't my first language.

I'm a cis, pan, black, female who came into the fandom a bit late. Due to my religious background I haven't been in a lot of queer spaces, online or irl. I've been interacting with the IWTV fandom here, on Twitter and AO3, which has been enlightening. There's a lot of Louis MTF characterization (?), and like the other anon said, most of it is very positive and fun. But, and this may be my ignorance speaking, there's a racial/colourist element in casting Louis as a woman that I think many overlook.

Within the show's universe, Louis took on the more feminine role, particularly in his relationship with Lestat. So when some Twitter user drew Louis as a darkskin man with a very blond Lestat straddling him a la Santiago and Eglee, many accurately argued that drawing him as a hypermasculine black man was very racist. But I haven't seen people mention that despite Louis taking the more feminine (read nurturing) role in Season 1, esp wrt to Claudia, he isn't feminine? Yes, some of his masculinity was a performance (aside from the way that most gender roles are a performance), but Louis is still a masculine man. His masculinity is softer in appearance than maybe most people's in his world, including Lestat's who had no problem dressing up as a woman, but it's still there. In a MTF fanfic I understand making Louis a woman, but in analyzing his characterization in a heteropatriarchal setting Louis is no less a man than Lestat.

My issue is Louis is a very lightskinned black man. Such men are typically not regarded as masculine in the black community, especially if they're homosexual. It's the other side of the coin of darkskin women being denied femininity. So while casting him as a woman in an AU is fine, I find serious analysis of the show that depicts him as a helpless maiden without agency in the face of stronger men and a misogynistic society very wanting. Because aside from being colourist, it also sort of absolves Louis of the harm he inflicts on the women he pimped out, Claudia, and yes, even his companions. It makes it seem like he was only given bad options and he had no choice but to pick the ones he could live with.

And this happens a lot. Anyone who loves Louis more than Lestat and Armand always sees him as a victim. Maybe this is in reaction to the Lestat-centred side of the fandom that always points out everything Louis does wrong. But since I'm not on that side of the fandom, most of the takes I see are in defense of Louis' victimhood as a weaker/feminine man/woman.

Idk if this makes sense at all. Don't post it if it doesn't. I hope it doesn't cause offense to anyone because it's not meant in that way at all. I think maybe there's something I'm missing about how the black/POC/Louis-loving side of the fandom views him, so if anyone who understands things better than I do can tell me what I'm not getting I'll be very grateful.

Thanks for all you do.

hi and thank u!<3

I think there's definitely a lot to talk about here. There's a lot I've observed of the fandom changing over time as the show has aired, bcuz none of this stuff was rly happening with the character of louis until the show aired. I don't have solid thoughts on this all yet, this has me thinking about a lot of things at once and I gotta organize it all. so otherwise I'd like to turn this over to the fandom as a whole to give feedback on for rn.

#asks #interview with the vampire #amc interview with the vampire #interview with the vampire amc #iwtv amc #amc iwtv #iwtv 2022 #louis de pointe du lac

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always-is-always · 11 months ago

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Insights come, through original content

It's definitely worth the time, to watch as much original content as possible. BIG note to self.

I've watched all four seasons of Bon Voyage, and just finished the four years of Summer Package. Lots of stuff that I have seen bits and pieces of before, in a lot of compilation videos and "analysis" videos. VERY interesting to see all of it within it's original context, in each show.

Yeah, there's a bit of Jikookery as people call it, in some of it. Most of it I had seen out of context, during my first couple of years in the fandom (when I didn't have any idea about anything). There are a few moments here and there that I haven't seen before which are primarily touches, and super subtle stuff.

The interesting thing is how people have taken so many of those moments out of context to support a story that they are presenting, in their compilations or "analysis". Yes, it can be said that other parts of the fandom have done the same thing, for the same purpose.

One of the moments from BV in Malta that everyone has seen comes to mind, here as I type. It is when they are all at a restaurant, and Jimin and Jungkook are seated across from each other. They reach out at the same time, to offer a bite of food to each other. That is a favorite clip that j-kookers love to use, to prove their theory. I mean, I do think it is cute and sweet, and I do believe that Jimin and Jungkook are together (in a closeted relationship), I just think that it's really a disservice when people leave out the other part of that scene. You know, when Jimin is then offering bites of his food to the other members, too. It wasn't just a Jimin and Jungkook thing, like is portrayed in many of the YT videos I have seen...

The other things I noted are how the editing was just so chopped up and discombobulated at times. Like When you see Jimin literally sitting down right next to Jungkook and then suddenly it is edited and next thing you see is Jimin on the opposite side of the group, not sitting where he had just sat down a second before. lol... Yeah, there's a TON of that crappy editing in all of the series and shows. I'm guessing that as they got into 2017, 2018, 2019 that they had to do a lot more editing as Jimin and Jungkook kinda started being more open with their antics. lol...

I kind of understand why people like to create those videos over on YT. There's thousands of them probably, and literally millions of viewers who like that type of thing. I was one who watched a bunch of it, as I mentioned before. It was before I understood what a lot of it was, and before I understood how much manipulation there was.

What's next on tap for me? I'm not sure. There's a ton of content still for me to make my way through. It has been enlightening to say the least. I do see the shift in the way that Jimin and Jungkook were from the early years into 2019, from what I have watched so far. There's so much there that clearly shows that they had particular types of experiences with each other, behind closed doors. I mean, anyone who has ever had a lover would see it in their energy(if you sense or see energy) and in the way that they would touch each other. It is as clear as the sun in the sky.

I can only imagine the complexities that the members had to navigate in their relationships with each other, their communication of how they felt to each other, and in working out HOW to have two members in a close intimate relationship within the group. Talk about a complicated situation. That puts it mildly. No wonder Namjoon had so many moments when they were in front of cameras, audiences, interviewing and such. No freakin' wonder.

Sorry for this long ramble..... I've just been thinking a lot about them and about what I have seen in these shows. Like I have mentioned, I hadn't seen much of the original stuff that was on Weverse, sold on DVD, or behind pay walls. I didn't actually understand what the heck "Summer Package" meant! lol... There's a TON of content that I have still to watch. This will be an ongoing thing for me, during these months while we wait for June 2025. There's probably going to be more rambles like this one, to come.... 😁💜

#bts #bangtan #bts original content #watch original content #missing bts #looking forward to 2025

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stxrrynxghts · 6 months ago

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Mentions : cursing ahead. Please refrain from reading if it bothers you. DO NOT BASH ME IF YOU DISAGREE. I am up for all forms of civil conversation on this topic.

Now, let's start.

So, like the useless human I am, I spent my time scrolling through Instagram. And what happens? Post after post praising Karna pops on my feed. See, you can like anyone who you want, I don't give a flying fuck. But, what I hate, is how people just make up some random shit, and then make a reel saying that it is "true" And written Mahabharat.

Now, I don't consider myself an expert or smth, but I have read 3 versions of Mahabharata, in two different languages. I think that I can say that I know some stuff about Mahabharata.

So, despite being PISSED af, I did my research. I saw these reels, scrolled through some comments, and even saw some stuff on Wattpad related to this.

Some of you might say that "if it bothers you then don't see it". Yes. That's what I have been doing. But now I am fucking pissed, and this is how I release my anger.

As always, Karna HAS to be compared to Arjun. How Arjun is such a weakling, that without Krishna he wouldn't win at all. First, if Karna is so good, and Arjun so bad, then why is Krishna supporting Arjun? Surely a god had better judgement skills than we do.

Arjun fought against SHIVA, THE GOD OF THE GODS. THE SUPREME GOD. Yes, Arjun didn't win, and he never stood a chance, but SHIVA was pleased by him, and blessed him. He gave him the Pashupatastra.

Some idiots say that Karna had it too. In a quote someone wrote that Krishna said that Karna was undefeatable as he had Brahmastra and Pashupatastra. Kindly enlighten me as to when did Karna please Shiva, and get this Astra as his blessing.

Then some people say that Shiva blessed Ravan too. Don't you dare. Don't you DARE compare Ravan, the man who ABDUCTED Sita, to Arjun. Arjun was a human, and he had his flaws. He committed mistakes. But he is, in no way, comparable to someone like Ravan.

People are writing stories where Abhimanyu respects Karna and shuns Arjun as a result. ABHIMANYU, WHO CHOSE to enter the Chakravyuha because he wanted to make his father and uncle proud. Abhimanyu, who wanted nothing more than to avenge his father. He hates Arjun in these stories.

Don't get me started on the Draukarn and Karnbhadra fandoms. Don't, please. I don't have the energy left for that. I just wish to say that you are so brave to pair Draupadi with her abuser.

Now. These are the more controversial ones. There are ppl writing stories where Karna is SHIVA'S SON.

Oh wow. Karna is comparable to KARTIKEYA AND GANESH. Speaking of Kartikeya, did you know that Karna is a better warrior than Kartikeya, THE GOD OF WAR?!

And ofc, Karna was a farrr better King than Ram was. And he was a better person too. It isn't like Ram had made a gr8 example of how to run a kingdom, that Ram Rajya has been so revered since centuries. Ofc not. That has nothing to do with this.🤡

Also, Karna had a better claim to the throne than Yudhishthira did! He was Kunti's son, and according to dharma, a wife's son is considered the husbands son too. It doesn't matter how Karna wasn't conceived when Kunti was married to Pandu, or with Pandu's permission. He STILL has a claim to the throne guys. 🙄

Last, but not the least, do you know how Krishna absolutely hated seeing Karna die, even when he was the one who had instigated Arjun to chop off Karna's head? *gasps in shock*

Also, saving the best for the last, but apparently, Krishna couldn't have defeated Karna when he still had his armor and earrings!!!! Gasppp!!!!

Okay. So half of this post is written a sarcastic manner guys, do understand my sarcasm TvT

It's fcking hilarious how Krishna, who whooped the asses of literal demons as a kid, who gave INDRA PTSD and who LIFTED THE FCKIN GOVARDHAN MOUNTAIN ON HIS LITTLE FINGER FOR SEVEN FUCKING DAYS CONTINUOUSLY is weaker than Karna. And this is just 1% of what he has done.

Like cmon. Karna is a gr8 warrior, I won't deny. But he was NOT a good person, and definitely not comparable to the people I mentioned above. Karna was defeated multiple times during the Kurukshetra war. He ran away from many battles as well. If you like him, then gr8. Do so, no one is stopping you. But don't compare him with the likes of Ram and Krishna.

Ohmigawd. This post has gone a bit out of hand. Sorry loves. 😞

#mahabharat #mahabharata #rant #karna

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