#some silly little hijinks
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majinbangus · 1 month ago
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I love Big Simon and Lil Simon so much!! I don't know if they are prompts or something you have planned out, but the one coming up next for Big Simon's friends got my thinking about Simon hosting a match night (not by choice maybe?) and Lil Simon ends up watching the game with them and Big Simon has to keep reminding everyone to watch their mouths (cause he's absolutely secretly turning into Dad Simon)!
ooh so i might switch up the order between 'big simon's friends' and 'not-date' but this is a cute prompt idea i could add it, or something similar, into the big simon's friends one.
im glad you like that little series <3 here's a little something that could be read as simon texting the 141 group chat for unrelated reasons, but the guys team up against him and make plans (ie 'big simon's friends' plot setup) that cannot be avoided
Simon: > Oi
Johnny: > Ghost, I swear if you make me cancel another date > unless... > is it your lad and lady
Garrick: > Ghost has a lady?
Simon: > Shut up, Johnny
Johnny: > No > I'm right, aren't I?
Garrick: > Hello? > Ghost has a lady?
Johnny: > ikr > I was shocked too
Simon: > Slags, that's not what this is about
Boss: > Sergeants, enough. > Ghost tell us what you were contacting us about
Simon: > Gladly
Boss: > And how about we all meet for afternoon tea sometime > Ghost, you can brief us more thoroughly that way
Garrick: > I have time
Johnny: > Tea sounds fantastic
Simon: > You don't even like tea Johnny
Johnny: > I don't but I'll stop shitting on you about making me cancel my date > I like your lad and lady, so I won't give them hell > but you're fair game
Boss: > So it's settled > Ghost?
Simon: > Bloody hell > Tea fucking time it is
Unseen among the rest of the group, Simon's eye twitches as he reads through the messages again.
"Knobheads, the lot of them."
And because he's feeling petty, he (temporarily) changes Soap and Gaz's names to Idiot 1 and Idiot 2 with Price's name switched respectfully as Captain Idiot.
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thegreatyin · 2 months ago
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two of them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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itsmuffiiee · 4 months ago
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I was told not to get this close to Jinks for safety reasons but it should be fine right? … right?
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Hey.. Sorry I lied earlier- the reference wasn’t for a friend it was for me. @a-clown-with-wings
Silly Nonsense Below ・・・・・★
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!! Please enjoy some doodles that didn’t make the cut!! I decided I wanted no tutu sometimes (a crime considering that’s one of my favorite parts of y/n outfit) and a stressed out bug doodle!!
!! We discovered this Evil Anti Jinks..!! so far we can’t tell their motives but they seem pretty cool!! Wonder if there is a Anti Mischief..?
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sysig · 6 months ago
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Chill, Sub-Commander (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#DAX#ZEX#Teisel#The Captain#Haha yeah good luck with that one#This scenario is basically tailor-made for exactly Zero VUX to be chill about - ZEX included he just has no chill in the other direction lol#The set up of DAX near-missing ZEX because they didn't recognize each other yet has some fun comedy hijinks about it hehe#Literally in the same room! ZEX doesn't know he's there and DAX doesn't know who to look for! Or if ZEX is there yet either to be fair haha#I love ZEX's asides of ''Got Teisel .D Very helpful very useful'' and then - lol#It was kinda like that in his first run as well tho :') Too many disappearances! Weh#But he has DAX now ♪ And Zelnick!! :DD#Which DAX is just ecstatic about lol no hard feelings there at all hahaha#Don't be rude DAX#Zelnick is so sweet honestly hehe <3 Willing to put up with all sorts of VUX silliness hehe#Really gets - well not the full VUX spectrum DAX isn't /disgusted/ by him (at least not visually lol he Is very angry haha)#But still a good range of reactions! Pursuit and not-that to be sure hehehe#Everyone's dynamic is so fuuunnnn ahh <3 ZEX nad DAX sweet and trusting - ZEX and Zelnick heated and adorable#And DAX and Zelnick! What will they be what will they do :3c#Hehe I loved his little bit of anger that he swallowed to keep the peace so measured Captain ♪#Meanwhile DAX is not at all trying to be subtle about how mad he is lol#He's all DX< about it hahaha#Certainly this situation and these circumstances won't affect him at all and he'll stay just as annoyed and aloof from the Captain as always#I'm sure that'll be the case :) Hehehehehe
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vengeful4ever · 11 months ago
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im so fucked.
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mambosfive · 1 year ago
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reminder to u all to make mambos verses for some hijinks x
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kittycity · 6 months ago
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Shout-out to Dungeon Meshi fan artists. Y'all have created some of the rawest, viscerally beautiful art I have ever seen. It's made me feel the vulnerability of being mortal and yet the divinity within being human. It's made me understand the value of flesh and blood and bone and love and soup and need and friendship.
And also, a bunch of weirdos having silly little found family hijinks. Hell yeah!!
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gemini-sensei · 1 year ago
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hello! your writing is really amazing!! can i please request robby keene with a sweet hyperfem gf that’s a cheerleader or a ballet dancer? maybe how his friends + dad would react to him being with someone pretty opposite him that doesn’t even do karate. thank you sm and once again your writing is awesome 💕
I love this, it's so cute! Thank you so much 🥰
Robby Keene x Cheerleader!Reader
This is a little hijinks and silly fun, so I hope that's okay.
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"What do you mean you can't come to training on Saturday? It's mandatory."
Robby stares at his father incredulously. Not for the fact that he's already told him this fact a handful of times, but for the reason that he's pulling shit out of his ass. He's ultimately unimpressed.
"It wasn't mandatory until you just said that," Robby tells him, rolling his eyes. He takes his drink from the fridge, where he'd been stopped, and walks by his oblivious father. "And I've told you this a hundred times now. This isn't new."
"Where do you have to be on Saturday that you can't come to training, huh?" Johnny asks, following after him.
They walk the short distance to the table, where Robby is trying to study for his GED. His father makes that infuriating difficult, however, he'd rather be struggling through that than answer his question. Though it's been long enough that he's been hiding this secret from his father and friends. It's bound to come out eventually, so why not now?
"My girlfriend has a thing," he tells him, intentionally leaving out what the 'thing' is. "I told her I'd go."
"Wait. Since when do you have a girlfriend?"
"Why does it matter?"
"Because my son has a girlfriend." Johnny smiles proudly as if this is some big accomplishment. "Is she hot?"
"I'm not feeding into this," Robby tells him, finding that question weird coming from his dad. He's not surprised by it, but that doesn't make it any less weird. "And that's not the point."
"Right, right," Johnny says, sitting back. He pops open a beer despite it only being four o'clock. "Well, just tell her you can't go. If you tell her something else came up, you won't have to go and she won't get upset at you."
"No," Robby sighs, shaking his head. "I told her I'd go and I want to go."
"Well, what is it?"
"Competition."
"What, like a pagent or something?"
"What? No. Just leave it alone."
Robby gathers up his things and takes them to his room, deciding it'd be best to leave the conversation there. Besides, he'd like to study in peace.
○○○
"Where's Robby?"
Johnny gives Daniel a look, his lips pressed thin. "He's not coming. He's going to something his girlfriend is competing in."
"Whoa, wait a minute," Hawk says, inserting himself into the conversation shamelessly. His voice as well as his next question draws in everyone else's attention. "Since when does Robby have a girlfriend?"
"Wait, you guys didn't know about this?" Johnny asks, eyeing Hawk and Miguel as they look back at him curiously. They shake their heads and his frown deepens. "Well, shit."
"So Robby is missing training for his girlfriend?" Demetri asks for clarification, though no one there doubts that he'd do the same if asked.
"Yeah, pretty much."
"And it's because of some sort of competition?" Miguel further inquires.
"That's what he said."
"Aw!" Sam let out with a smile. "That's so romantic. He wants to support her."
"Well, now I'm curious about this mystery girlfriend," Hawk grunts, smirking as he looks at his friends. "I wonder what kind of competition she's in and how much fun he's having there."
"Hold on a second," Daniel says, stopping the teens before they can get too ahead of themselves. "Hawk, whatever you're thinking, it's a no. Whatever reason Robby has for not telling anyone about this girl must be a good one. There's no need to overstep boundaries."
"Fuck boundaries, man. I wanna know who this girl is if she's so special to hide from everyone," Johnny huffs. Daniel glares at him and he glares back, then turns to Hawk and Demetri, the resident cool nerd and huge nerd. "Is there a way for you guys to find out where he's at right now without him knowing?"
"Well, we could check his snapmap and see his location," Demetri says, pulling out his phone.
Hawk watches Johnny's face turn confused and he can't hide his smirk.
"What the hell is a snapmap? Is that some sort of soundboard app or something?"
Everyone looks at him, then each other before Daniel lets out an exasperated sigh. This was not how any of them planned their day, but he seemed to be the only one complaining.
○○○
When they arrive at Robby's location, according to Snapchat of all things, they find themselves at some kind of arena. Johnny leads the pack of nosy teenagers inside but quickly finds himself lost as her tries to navigate the event signs that are posted around the place. Hawk takes the lead, deciding the best course of action is to follow the noise.
Daniel follows begrudging behind his nosy daughter, promising himself to keep them all out of trouble. He sounds like a parrot, repeating himself about how this is a bad idea and how Robby will never trust any of them again if they continue on. "Curiosity killed the cat, ya know."
It isn't long before a woman stops them. She wears a sticker on her shirt that says "Volunteer," but the stern look about her screams wannabe event planner or security, or some horrid mashup of both. "Excuse me, only family and school associates are allowed here."
Ever fast on his feet, Hawk said, "No worries. We're with one of the schools."
"And what school is that?"
Sam spies a board with a list of schools on it, happy to see a convenient option on the list. "West Valley."
The woman's attitude quickly changes. "Oh, are you with the yearbook? Your teacher said you'd be coming, but we never heard anything back from him."
"Yep, that's us," Hawk says, pulling on a photo-ready smile.
"Well, let me get you checked in," the woman says, walking them over to a table.
To keep up their little act, Hawk and Sam babble on about having "finally found the right place" and "getting their stuff out of the car soon." Everyone else stays quiet for the most.
The woman grabs a sheet of stickers and writes on them with a black marker, then passes them out to everyone. When she gets to Johnny and Daniel, she says, "You must be chaperones."
Daniel opens his mouth to say something, but Johnny cuts him off with a quick, "Sure we are." It gets them each a "parent" sticker slapped onto their shirts and they're permitted to keep going.
As they walk, Demetri scoffs. "I can't believe that worked."
They find the entrance to the arena and walk inside, hearing some sort of chant echoing off the walls. As they come out from between the seats, they finally see exactly what kind of competition Robby promised to attend.
A group of cheerleaders took center stage as they went through a routine on the mats. They wear bright smiles as they lift their pompoms into the airs and their pleated skirts swished around their legs. Off to the side, other teams sit as they watch with smiles of their own or talk among themselves, waiting for their turn to go up and show the crowd their moves. Upbeat music plays as the performing group does their thing, keeping the crowd in good spirits.
"Oh my god," Tory laughs. She grins wide, never imagining in her wildest of dreams that Robby Keene would ever date a cheerleader.
Miguel nods along slowly, still a little taken aback by the scene. "This wasn't what I was expecting."
Johnny smiles proudly. "Hell yeah. My son's dating a cheerleader."
"Your son's pissed off," a voice says from behind the group.
They all turn to find Robby standing with a small bucket of popcorn in one hand and a bouquet of flowers in the other. True to his words, he wears a less-than-impressed look on his face. If looks could kill, they'd all be dead where they stand.
Johnny steps forward. "Look, Robby, you can't really be mad at us-"
"The hell I can," Robby cuts him on.
"I told you so," Daniel chimes in.
Sam slaps his arm. "Don't even go there. You came here with us."
"Enough," Robby cut in, gritting his teeth. "I can't believe you guys crashed my girlfriend's competition all because I didn't want to tell you-" he points at Johnny, "about her yet. And shit like this is the reason why, on top of the fact that you make everything that is in the slightest bit feminine into some kind of win to men."
"I don't do that," Johnny says nonchalantly.
"Yes, you do," Robby, and everyone else, responds.
He gives them all a look, but then turns back to Robby. He opens his mouth to speak, but Demetri cuts him off.
"The second you found out it's a cheerleading competition, you counted it as a personal win," he says.
"Shut up," Johnny huffs.
Suddenly, the music stops and the announcer comes on over the loudspeaker. "What a great performance! Give them a round of applause. We'll take a ten-minute break, so refresh your drinks and get ready for the great team from North Hills!"
People start to get up and move around, causing things to get a little chaotic and crowded. Robby takes the opportunity, with a major eye roll, to slip away. He walks back to his seat or rather stomps back once he steps onto the bleachers.
His eyes scan the arena but it doesn't take long for him to find the group of cheerleaders he's looking for. Not too far away, North Hills stands, going through some last-minute stretches before their performance. Among them, his girlfriend is drinking from her water bottle. Her hair is done perfectly, there isn't a single crease in her uniform, and she looks absolutely beautiful. Her uniform shows off all of her curves whilst keeping things modest, giving Robby an eyeful of her shapely legs.
As she caps her water off, their eyes meet and she smiles really big. She throws up her hand in a cute wave and he smiles back, momentarily forgetting his anger. He waves back and she blows him a kiss. Only for her, he pretends to catch it and press it to his lips, which makes her giggle.
On the lower levels of the bleachers, farther away from Robby but not too far that they can't see him, his father, friends, and Sensei watch. They're still equal parts curious as much as they are feeling guilty - at least most. Unapologetically, Hawk smirks as he watches the little interaction between the no-longer-secret-lovers.
"That's Robby's girlfriend?" Demetri asks, pointing out Reader among the group of North Hills cheerleaders.
Tory smirks. "She's cute."
Hawk chides, "More than cute."
"I just can't believe Robby would hide the fact that he has a girlfriend," Johnny huffs. He shakes his head, still in a state of semi-disbelief as he watches the group, studying the girl who looks to be his son's complete opposite. "A cheerleader at that."
"Gee, Johnny, I wonder why he'd do such a thing," Daniel deadpans.
Johnny goes to respond hotly, but the announcer comes on to bring everyone's attention back onto the competition. Soon, the North Hills team is coming onto the mats and getting into formation. They take their deep breaths, smiling big and pretty for everyone. Then the music started and they began their routine.
○○○
After all of the teams performed and the winner was announced, the room became chaos, but Robby could care less about the people around him. He makes his way down the bleachers to reach Reader, who is celebrating with her team by jumping with joy and talking over each other. They hold a big, shiny trophy as they squeal and congratulate themselves for working so hard to win.
She sees him as he's walking over and she lets out a giddy squeal of his name. She rushes to him and he catches her in a hug, holding her tight as she squeezes him.
"We won! We won!" she cheers happily.
He smiles and kisses her cheek. "I knew you would."
She pulls back, smiling at him. Her eyes shine as she looks at him. "Really?"
"Of course," he tells her. He has always believed in her. This is what she's passionate about, so how could she not win? "I got these for you."
He holds out the flowers for her and she takes them with so much care and admiration. "Aww, thank you! I love them!"
She throws her arms around him again, this time around his neck, and kisses him. He happily kisses back, holding her waist. He pulls her close, against him so that they can deepen the kiss and really share the moment. It's her day and nothing beats a hot kiss from your boyfriend after all the hard work paying off.
However, a whistle interrupts them followed by loud clapping. "Hell yeah!" someone yells and Robby pulls away annoyed.
He looks over to find his father and the others watching him. He glares at his dad, letting him know that he is not at all amused or happy with his presence there. In fact, the anger bubbles back up and his jaw clenches as he stares down his friends.
"I still can't believe you're here," he grumbles, cutting each of them a look.
Demetri and Miguel at least look a little guilty and remorseful, whilst Daniel practically chastises Johnny for encouraging all of this behavior and invasion of privacy. Tory looks amused as all Hell while Hawk takes the moment to shamelessly check out some of Reader's friends.
Sam smiles kindly. "Well, all of our meddling aside, I think it's sweet you skipped practice to be here."
Robby wants to roll his eyes, but Reader grabs onto his jacket and catches his attention. He looks at her and almost melts.
"You missed your practice for me?" she asked cutely.
He hums and gives a little shrug like it isn't a big deal. "I told you I'd be here."
"Aww," she lets out, smiling wide. She plants a big kiss on his cheek, leaving a little lipstick mark there.
He blushes as his friends watch, but he can't bring himself to care too much with her in his arms. She makes it impossible to be a grump when she's around, easily the best part of his days.
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raz-writes-the-thing · 7 months ago
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Star-Crossed (Doctor Who One-Shot)
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Eleventh Doctor x GN!Reader (fluff/angst)
Summary: You and the Doctor find out that neither of you are on the same page when it comes to defining your relationship.
EVERYTHING: @winchxters
DW: @nyxiethesimp @quickslvxrr @midnight--raine @blueberry-sunshines @stevekempscocktails @go-bonkers-go-foolish @peytonpenguin37 @yeethaw13 @complimentary-breadbasket @thekirbishow @stilestotherescue @madspads @catlynharper@merrilark @jaziona92 @yeehawbrothers @mochabonesblog @iguirisu @thegen3sisark @wereallbrokenangels @florduarte @pansexual-imp (send an ask to be added to a tag list!)
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Star-crossed lovers. That's what people called the two of you. After you'd both averted some new catastrophe on a random moon or planet and the people you'd befriended on this particular adventure dragged you away to ask what it was like- travelling with the Doctor.
"It must be nice, travelling the stars with such a handsome partner."
"You're both so lucky to have each other."
"Tell us, is he a good kisser?"
On and on it went. Planet after planet, moon after moon. And you wish you knew if he was a good kisser or not. You wish you knew what it was like to cuddle under a ship window and listen to him tell you stories. You wish you knew what it was like to sleep next to each other and have him cuddle you back to sleep (if he slept at all, of course). All of these things and more, but from what you could tell- he just wasn't interested.
"Come on, now," the Doctor broke you from your sulking. You took a deep breath and looked over at him. "What's that face for? It's a new day, new adventure, new hijinks. We've got it made, you and me."
You forced a smile onto your lips, feeling incredibly overwhelmed by a lot of things right now.
"What face, Doctor? There's no face. Promise."
The Doctor clicked his tongue, brows furrowing disapprovingly at your very obvious lie. Abandoning his post by the console, the Doctor came to sit by you, throwing his arm over your shoulders comfortingly.
"All right," he acquiesced as you turned your head to face away from him. You craved this kind of physical affection from him, but it also hurt. A lot. "Pretend for a second that I believe you, what could I do to make your great day even better, hmm?"
You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding, and suddenly the Doctor's thumb and forefinger were under your chin and turning your head towards him.
"What's wrong, Petal? I can't stand to see you hurt like this."
"I just- look, it's silly, but I get tired of hearing people mistake us for a couple all the time," you explained, eyes downcast. Then, the Doctor's arm was no longer around you and the cool of the TARDIS interior made you shiver.
Forcing yourself to make eye contact with him, you were very surprised and frightened to see hurt on his features. This confused you, and you reached for one of his hands which was currently picking at his nails anxiously.
"You don't want to be a couple anymore then?" He asked, struggling to not look away from you.
"Well, I-" you started and then abruptly stopped. "Anymore? What do you mean 'anymore'?"
Now the Doctor looked just as confused as you did. You could see the gears trying to turn in his brain but struggling.
"I've spent a great deal of my time around humans," the Doctor said, processing. "Do you mean to tell me... I've been considering us a couple going on four or five months and you didn't know?"
You opened your mouth. Closed it again. You were seeing error.exe messages in your mind's eye. What was happening right now?
"But- I- we've never even kissed?" You protested, windows computer noises playing over your brain as you tried to figure out how this miscommunication could have happened.
"I thought you wanted to take things slow," the Doctor answered.
You couldn't help it. You burst into laughter. Raucous, loud, boisterous laughter that filled the room and out into the hallways. The Doctor followed, little giggles that turned into full-bellied laughter in no time.
You couldn't believe the ridiculousness of the situation. How could he have thought that? How could you have thought he wasn't interested? Gods, there was a lot of miscommunication there that needed to be seriously looked at as some sort of Ripley's believe it or not record.
When you were able to stop your giggling long enough to take a breather, the Doctor took your hand.
"Given we didn't do this the right way the first time," he said, looking equally as mystified by the situation. "I feel it's my duty to ask... would you like to go out with me? Complete restart. From the beginning."
"Yes," you grinned, wiping the tears of laughter from your cheek with your shoulder. "I would love to go on a date with you."
"Excellent!" He exclaimed, jumping up and heading to the console. "Now, you go put something on. Something... fit for a nice dinner and a movie, and I'll put the coordinates in. Go on, off you pop."
You hopped up, feeling giddy with excitement. A fresh start, this was just what you needed. Maybe you were star-crossed lovers after all.
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technoartist · 2 months ago
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I was finally able to rewatch Wreck-It Ralph for the first time in years a couple of days ago and I genuinely cannot believe that I forgot about how weirdly obsessed I was over the Sugar Rush NPCs (especially the hard candy ones). They were really memorable to me as a kid, probably being the character designs that I focused the most on back then, along with the Cybugs.
Anyways, here's a little AU idea that I came up with some of them! A hard candy NPC finds a baby cybug sometime after the events of the movie, adopting it as a pet! Most of my ideas for it are just silly little hijinks with her and a bunch of other Sugar Rush NPCs, lol.
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stolenviolet · 2 months ago
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Where is this Baby Death AU I'm hearing so much about? I'm dumb and don't know how to do things on the internet, help! XD
Nah, you're a smart cookie! This website is just tough to navigate sometimes.
All you need to do is go to my blog.
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From there hit that cool little magnifying glass button.
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Then search 'Baby Death AU'
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That should pull up everything I've posted for it! (not a whole lot, I'll admit)
But if you don't feel like rummaging through those posts, I'll give you a quick summary:
When Voldemort hits Harry with the killing cure in the forest, the spell backfires (again). Only this time, it creates a life instead of taking one. This leaves the once prophesied enemies with a baby that holds quite a resemblance to the two of them. Confused and curious as to how this accrued, Harry and Voldemort agree to a truce and are now stuck Co-Parenting their 'happy little accident'.
However, what they don't realize is that this sweet buddle of joy is actually Death!
You see, Death wasn't very happy with Voldemort running around making horcruxes, so he seizes the opportunity to take mortal form in hopes of foiling any future plans the 'Dark Lord' may have for immortality.
What follows is a bunch of goofy hijinks as Death, Harry and Voldemort navigate their new life as a ...somewhat functional family.
--
Other things to note in this AU(so far):
-Harry is the 'Master of Death' in this AU (though he doesn't know this and still doesn't). Death even tried to call him 'Master', at first, but as a baby, the word proved to be too difficult to get out. This resulted in Harry being referred to as 'Ma' or 'Ma-Ma' (much to everyone's confusion, but hey! it stuck *shrugs*)
-Baby Death was given the name Thomas Sirius Potter. (this was the result of a twitter poll I took to help me pick out a name. personally i find it hilarious and very on brand for how harry would name his kid.)
-Thomas is a Hufflepuff! (also the result of a twitter pole.)
-Nagini is the only one who knows Thomas is Death.
-Voldemort and Bella used to be an item, but he broke it off after Thomas was...'born?'. Now she's constantly scheming up ways to win him back. Sadly for her, they never work.
-Harry and Voldemort do eventually end up 'together' but not until Thomas leaves for his first year at Hogwarts.
--
I think that should about cover it...OH! Hold on!
Here are some awesome fics that were written base on the original prompt 'When Voldemort hits Harry with the killing cure in the forest, it creates a life instead of taking one':
The Heir de la Mort by @rowena-rain
Bloody Gorgeous by @laserswordtraining
(be sure to mind the tags!)
--
Okay, now I'm done rambling. Thanks for the ask, and I hope you enjoy this silly little AU!
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sturniolo-rat · 6 months ago
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Cake Eater’s Delight
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Matt Sturniolo X Reader
A/N: here’s your anal fic as promised! I spent way too much time describing yoga positions. For this, I am extremely sorry.
Contains: smut, anal, oral, butt plugs
TW: BEARS! Also, the term "Butt Slut" You give me a simple request, and I will do the absolute most
Y/N is wearing yoga pants that accentuate her ass. Matt is intent on fucking it.
Today is self-care Sunday, and Y/N just finished making a strawberry banana smoothie with extra protein powder for her boyfriend, Matt. It’s seven a.m., and she has the whole day planned, but first, she has to get him up and ready.
“Wakey wakey, My sweet boy.” she chirps eagerly, holding the smoothie to his face. 
“Oh god.” he groans, wipes the sleep from his eyes, and sees how hyped Y/N is. Still very disoriented, he says, “I see you’re having a good morning, Baby, but what time is it?” 
“It’s seven a.m. and I’m super excited for our early morning nature walk!”  
He sits up and sighs. “The fuckin’ nature walk.” Matt was actually pretty enthusiastic about this last night when he agreed to it, but not so much this morning. It’s too early, and he just wants Y/N to come back and be the big spoon for the next two hours. The smoothie, however, is immaculate, and he made her a promise. He summons all of his strength and swings his legs over the side of the bed. He sits facing Y/N and says with a smile, “I’ve never been more pumped for anything in my life!” Y/N gives him a bone-crushing hug before skipping off to get him the outfit she picked for him yesterday. Matt can’t help but stare at her booty as she makes her way to the closet. Those damn yoga pants get him every time.  
Half an hour later, they arrive at the closest California state park. Matt is warming up to the idea of this walk. He really does love nature, and having a little stroll in it is certainly something he would do as self-care. “Maybe we’ll see a bear!” Y/N squeals. 
“I love bears. They're so fucking big and dumb.” He really does hope they see a bear. His excitement over seeing a dangerous animal in the wild isn’t his fault. He has a very serious condition called white man curiosity. Bless him and his family. 
As they walk the dirt trail, Matt tells her facts about all the animals and plants they encounter. At some point, the trail leads them to a very colorful part of the woods filled with flowers. The trail has slowly been getting narrower, so Matt is now walking behind Y/N. “Baby, If I sincerely told you that I accidentally body-swapped with my sister, would you believe me?”
He’s deeply confused by the question, but he has an answer for it, regardless. “I would probably ask you a question that only you could answer first.” he pauses to laugh at how silly she is. “Would you believe me?”
“Most definitely,” she responds with unnatural quickness.
Matt is taken aback. “Why so certain?”
“Well, now that we’ve had the conversation, I don’t think you’d say you were body-swapped unless it actually happened.”
He’s getting very invested in the conversation now. “I’m not worried about it because you only really get body-swapped with people you dislike. So I don’t think there’s any danger of this happening to me and my brothers.”
“I don’t hate my sister, but we are polar opposites, so I see body-swap potential.”
“Be careful not to get sucked into any body-swapping hijinks, My love.”
“I’ll try, but no promises.”
Suddenly, he grabs her arm and stops her in her tracks. Y/N turns around to look at him, but all she sees is a beautiful array of flowers. Matt had been behind her, picking a bouquet of flowers as they talked. He moves the flowers from in front of his face and hands them to Y/N. “It’s a thank-you gift. I truly am having an amazing time today.”
“This is insanely fucking sweet. Thank you so much, Baby.” She leans in to give him a soft peck on the cheek. “I think we should start heading back though. We’re getting kinda far out.” They had gotten lost in each other's company and didn’t notice that they had been walking for an hour and covered at least 2 miles of the 5-mile trail.
Matt tears his gaze from Y/N’s face to take in their environment. “Goddamn, we’re like way out in the fuckin wild!” He can tell Y/N is getting somewhat uncomfortable with the thought of being so deep in the woods, so he holds out his hand for her to take and starts to walk her back down the trail. 
Y/N lets go of his hand and taps him furiously on the shoulder. “Matt. Matt, it actually fucking happened. Look!” she whispers in his ear and points into the distance. 
“A bear!” Matt yells.
“Hush!” she hits him hard on the head. “Don’t be the idiot who gets killed because he screamed at a bear. Just get the camera out.”
He fumbles with his backpack but realizes he didn’t pack it. He was so sure they wouldn’t come across a bear. The pictures and videos he takes on his phone will have to do for their next vlog. Once Matt has all the bear material he needs, they continue down the dirt path, tip-toeing very quietly.
When they finally reach their car, they’re exhausted, sweaty, and gross. Matt, however, is also rocking a semi. He’s been walking behind Y/N for hours now, watching how her ass moves. They’ve just started experimenting with butt stuff recently. He’s been obsessed with her backside ever since. He can't get the image of the pink hello kitty butt plug sticking out of her ass out of his mind. The drive home is pleasant and gives him time to calm down. Matt doesn’t want his horniness to get in the way of the day Y/N has planned. 
They arrive home, and Y/N flops on their bed. The walk was way longer than it was supposed to be. She’s anxious to tell Matt about the next activity she has planned, but she needs a quick break to hydrate. Matt comes in clutch and brings her the Stanley cup she filled up that morning but forgot to bring. She sits up and takes the cup. “Thank,” she says as she takes a sip. “God!”
“Don’t thank God. Thank me, Honey.” he winks as she absolutely chugs her water. There’s water dripping from the sides of her mouth running down her neck and breasts. Fuck she can even make drinking like a feral caveman look sexy. When she finishes, she sets the cup down, and Matt’s dick jumps in his pants. She looks like she could be in a wet t-shirt contest. He’s really fighting for his life right now and needs an activity to distract himself. “Alright! Get up, Baby. It’s time for whatever’s next on the list.” He hopes it's something lame and calming like meditation or maybe some silly facial skin routine.
“Okay, I’ll go get the yoga mats and bring them to the living room.” She hops up from the bed, fully recharged and energetic as ever. “Oh, yay. I’m gonna bring my new yoga ball, too!”
“Oh, good!” he says quite insincerely. He should have seen this coming. She’s wearing the yoga pants she reserves for actually doing yoga. This is going to be torture. He tucks his boner into his waistband and waits for Y/N in the other room.      
When meets him there, she kicks her yoga ball into the corner and gives Matt a big hug before setting up their pink and blue yoga mats. She’s so happy to be spending the day relaxing and playing around with him. Her ponytail whips around behind her as she spins to face Matt. “Did you know it’s actually recommended that you do yoga or stretch after long walks? The walk wasn’t meant to be long, but how lucky it is that my plan works out.” She’s speaking extremely quickly due to her excitement.  She pauses for a breath but begins talking again before Matt can respond. “Are you ready?” she asks expectantly.
“Of course, My love. Your plan is perfect.” 
They stand on their respective mats, and Y/N realizes that Matt has probably never done yoga in his life. “Let me show you five poses you need to know before we start.” He takes a deep breath and prepares for a face full of outstretched booty, but to his surprise, she sits down crisscrossed. “We’re gonna start off with the Sukhasana. Just sit down, touch your pointer fingers to your thumbs, and close your eyes.” 
“Seems easy enough,” He says and patiently watches as she changes pose. 
“Then we’re gonna transition into the Adho Mukha Svanasana. Just get on your hands and knees,” she demonstrates as she talks. “Place your hands down in front of you, shoulder-width apart. Then walk your legs back so your hands are under your shoulders, and your knees are under your hips.”
“That’s a lot of words to explain what I believe is the very simple-looking downward-facing dog.” Yup. This is exactly what he expected. It’s awful and stressful, but it’s also absolutely fucking glorious. Her booty is a piece of art crafted specifically for him by the hands of God. He tears his eyes away and looks at her face as she once again, changes her pose. 
“Oh, shut up. I’m trying to sound like a yoga professional,” she says with a small chuckle. “Anyway, the next pose is the pigeon pose.”
“Yeah, super fancy and professional.” He smirks, and she rolls her eyes.
“Moving on!” she says, letting out an exasperated breath, “From the Adho Mukha Svanasana position, you’re gonna lift your left leg up while keeping your other leg straight and your foot arched.” 
“Jesus Christ,” Matt whispers loudly. The pose essentially looks like she’s throwing it back on the floor. Her bottom is round and cute, and all he wants to do is reach out and squeeze it. That’s a lie, actually. He wants to smack it. Hard, very fucking hard. He wants to grope her fat, meaty thighs and worship her body. She’s talking, but he can’t hear her. He’s in a trance, and he needs to do something about it. “I’m sorry, Sweetness. I really am, but I can’t keep it to myself anymore.”
Y/N gets up and looks at his face, very concerned. “What’s wrong, Baby?”
He still hasn’t looked up at her face. “It’s your ass.” He licks his lips. “I have to fuck it.”
Y/N moves so that she’s directly in front of him and grabs him by his jaw to make him look at her. She whispers in his ear, “I know.” Matt has been lusting after her all day. There was no possibility that she wouldn’t notice. "Time to destroy my root chakra."
“Fuck yes!” He pulls her into a rough, toothy kiss. His lips are soft, almost silken, and pillowy against hers. His hand reaches up to massage her breast, and she moans into his mouth. She needs him. Needs to see more of him. Y/N tugs at the hem of his shirt. Matt takes the hint, breaks the kiss, and removes it. She puts her hands on his chest and rubs them down his abdomen. He’s so beautiful. 
In one swift motion, he wipes her hands away. She whimpers and gives him a pathetic, needy look. “I know you want to touch me, Baby. I know.” He says as he makes his way over to get the yoga ball. “But right now, I need you to bend over this ball and show me that pretty, pretty ass of yours.” 
Y/N does as she’s told. She loves it when Matt bosses her around. He pulls at her pants aggressively, and she doesn’t understand what he’s trying to do. Then she hears a tearing sound and feels the cold air on her bare bottom. “You just ripped my favorite yoga pants!”
“Quiet!” He barks. “I’ll get you new ones.” He says as he forces her panties down around her knees. His hands part her cheeks, and he can’t believe what he sees. He has been lusting after this woman all fucking day, thinking he was being a pervert. Little did he know that Y/N had her butt plug in the whole time. He takes a closer look. It’s not her favorite Hello Kitty one, but the one with the blue jewel on the end. Matt’s eyes widened; it’s their second biggest one. Y/N anticipated this, and she always comes prepared. 
He kneads both of her cheeks as he asks, “Oh, Sweet girl, did you plan this? Was this part of your little self-care day? Did you need to be a little butt slut for me to feel complete?”
“I do.” She whines. “Last night, I got so horny thinking about you playing with my ass.”
“I can tell, Sweetheart. You used the big blue one. We’ve never even touched that one before. Were you training your ass for me?” He sits on his knees behind her so his face is level with her rear. Matt takes his time biting and kissing her ass. She lets out a hiss when he starts to play with the plug, pulling it out only to put it back in again. Every little movement has her gasping. He keeps going until she’s too loose for the stretch. He slaps her on the ass with so much force he leaves a handprint, and she lets out a wail. 
“I know we haven’t done it before, but do you want to take my cock?” he asks.
“I want to try,” she says in a shaky voice.
“Are you sure?”
“I am. I swear.”
“I promise I’ll be gentle, but first,” He shoves his pants and boxers down and takes his cock in his hand as he walks around to Y/N’s front. “I need you to lube up my cock. Can you do that for me, Baby?”
“Mhmm, I can.” She replies eagerly and opens wide. 
Her mouth is wet and warm around his cock. He holds her hands behind her back so she has to deep-throat him to reach his base. The dirty, sloppy sounds coming from his thrusts in and out of her throat are music to his ears. He needs to hear more. He grabs her by the ponytail and fucks her face harder. He wants to hear her choke and gag. She doesn’t mind it. She’s just happy to be of service. Her mouth is so fucking perfect, but he needs to stop before he cums. He pulls out, and she gasps for air. “You okay? Catch your breath, Baby.” He gives Y/N time to orient herself. 
“I’m okay.” She gives him a big smile. Only sluts smile like that after choking on cock.
“If you want me to stop at any point, just tell me, and I'll stop.”
Y/N nods her head, and Matt takes his spot behind her. He pulls the butt plug out very carefully and sets it aside. Her pussy is so wet and leaking, but he ignores it entirely, except to say, “You’re dripping down your thighs, My love.” he smiles to himself as he taps his cock on her ass. “You’re soaking your new exercise ball,” he says as he slowly pushes his tip in. When he finally pushes in past his tip, it burns and hurts, but she loves the sensation. She keeps thinking that it can’t get any longer, but it just keeps going, and the stretch burns until, eventually, he gives her all of him. Her asshole clenches hard, and it feels so fucking amazing, but then it’s burning and hurting right at the entrance, and she whimpers as he pulls himself out halfway. He’s going so slow, and he wants to speed up so badly. Her asshole feels so much better than he imagined it would. He knew she would be tight, but he didn’t know how deep she could take him. She can’t fit him all the way in when he fucks her pussy. It feels so nice to be able to give her everything he’s got. 
“You can go faster now.”
“Oh, yes.” he bites his lip and speeds up to a respectable pace. 
“No, faster. I need it faster,” she says desperately. He picks up the pace, and finally, he starts to feel like he’s properly fucking her. She’s moaning and whining because it feels so bad and so good at the same time. It’s a very confusing sensation, but all she knows is she wants to cum so badly. Usually, Matt likes to make Y/N cum first, but he doesn’t know if anal will make her cum, and he just can’t resist cumming in her ass. He stands her up so she’s up against his chest and reaches in front of her to rub her clit. This is what she needs, what she’s been missing. He loves the sounds she’s making. He doesn’t even notice he’s been drilling into her faster and faster. Y/N is letting out loud yelps with every thrust. If anyone overheard them, they would think she was in agony. 
“I’m gonna cum, Baby. I want you to try to cum with me. Can you do that?” he says, breathing heavily.
“I can try.”
“What do you need, Love? How can I help you cum?” 
“Please pull my hair.” His hands are around her ponytail before she can even get all the words out. He pulls so hard she’s forced to look up at the ceiling. 
“Like that?”
Her eyes are rolling to the back of her head. “Fuck, yes! Just like that! I’m gonna cum!” 
Matt puts more pressure on her clit and feels her cumming. It feels different from when he’s in her pussy. The thought of having had every one of her holes pushes him to the edge, and he releases himself into her asshole. 
Y/N’s knees buckle, and she collapses onto the exercise ball and pants. He wants to ask her if she’s alright, but he’s distracted watching his cum leak out of her ass. “Fuck,” he leans over to pick he up bridal style. “Let's get you into a bath, okay?”
“You’re not gonna believe this, but that’s actually next on the list.”
“Perfectly planned, My love.”
Masterlist
@rafecameronsbitch @daddyslilchickenfingers2 @mrsmiagreer @lovergirl4387 @gdsvhtwa @ashley9282828 @j-worlds-blog @stephanienwf @achrisgirly @draculaura123 @abbypost @Cind2224 @crazychrisl0v3r @ryli3sworld @bkwrld @pinkishpearls @pepsienthusiasts @stunza @chrattstromboli @sturnssmuts @angelic-sturniolos111 @69isabella69 @maryx2xx @sturniolo04 @bigbeefybitch @klaus223492 @r93339 @sturnzsblog @spotconlon55 @robins-scoop @junovrsmp4 @sturnlover4eva @blahbel668 @lilahnowheretobefound @luxy-nyx @tuffsturns @m0r94n @sturnstvs @pepsicolapussy333 @maddyslifesstuff @dogblof @honeymoonxxz @xplr-sturns-e-m @hayhjelmstad15 @thetriplets3 @y0urm4m @mattyblover07
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its-time-to-write · 1 year ago
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This may be a bit of a strange idea (Feel free to ignore this request)
But since your about Jaime Tartt baby fic. I had the thought of Jaime trying to give reader a break takes the baby in a stroller to training with Roy and Roy is just kind of like WTF and other hijinks ensue like maybe someone flirts with Jamie with the baby or roy gets left with the baby at somepoint or Reader is freaken out cause the baby is gone. IDK just an idea that has been stuck in my head since I read your baby fic
Dude this request was not strange AT ALL. It was actually nice because it was similar to something I wanted to write, and I haven’t been able to do that because I’ve been doing requests. THANK YOU.
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i’ll still be right next to you my dear
Your daughter Bea is five months old. You’re still sleep-deprived, but less than you were a month ago. Jamie does his absolute best as her dad and your husband, but the weight of it still falls to you. Things have gotten considerably less tense, too, since you moved out of the flat and back into your house. It was weird at first, both you and Jamie walking on little eggshells around each other. 
The tension was broken with an all-hands-on-deck moment at 1am, when Bea had a stomach bug or something, and you two had no choice but to just laugh in resignation at the sheer enormity of the mess she made. There go the beginnings of sleep training. 
Bea had her own schedule, one that involved being an early bird like her dad. She would wake up five to ten minutes before his 3:30 alarm went off, and it got to the point where he barely even set it anymore. 
Jamie would get out of bed, throw on some pants, change her, and then zip through his morning routine. He’d put her back to bed, give you a half-awake kiss, then be out the door before Roy could knock. 
(Roy made that mistake early on, waking Bea. You thoroughly chewed him out in an exhausted rage. Jamie says it’s the closest thing he’s ever seen to Roy crying).
Anyway, at 3:55 this Saturday morning, Jamie kisses you, says, “I’ve got Bea, so sleep in,” and is gone before you even know what’s happening. 
You flop back on the pillow and are out in seconds. 
“The fuck is this?” Roy says the moment Jamie steps out the door, pushing a happy Bea in her jogging stroller.
“The fuck does it look like?” Jamie replies. “Her mum needed sleep, so Bea’s joining us for training.” He leans over the stroller to look at his daughter and coos, “Isn’t that right, angel?”
Bea makes a delighted gurgle and Roy grunts.
“Oh come on, don’t tell me the great Uncle Roy is daunted by a silly wee baby?” Jamie says, grinning. “You are Bea’s favorite.”
Roy glares at Jamie. “Don’t fucking lie to me, everyone knows Sam’s her fucking favorite. She even likes fucking Isaac better than me.”
Jamie pouts. “Don’t listen to him, Bea. We know you love Uncle Roy, even though he’s being a twat.”
Roy just grunts and looks at Bea. “You know how I feel about you, kid,” he says. She babbles. She knows. 
“Alright, come on. Suppose the stroller gives your dad some extra weight while he runs.”
Jamie grins, and starts jogging down the street.
You wake up to the sound of silence. No Bea, no Jamie. Just birds chirping and the sun shining. You squint at the clock. 8:37am. You reach for your phone and see a selfie from Jamie of him, Bea, and Roy marked 7:02am with the caption, headed to breakfast! 
You now have a hazy recollection of Jamie saying something about taking Bea when he left, but it felt like a dream at the time. The silence makes more sense now. 
You smile and send heart emojis. I love you! you type. 
love u 2, Jamie replies. Then: I hope that was for me not Roy?
You shake your head. That boy. He thinks he’s a comedian.
You roll out of bed and stretch. Time for a nice, long shower, then a good coffee from Jamie’s complementary espresso machine. You’re not gonna lie, there are certain perks to being married to a footballer.
Meanwhile, Jamie and Roy have stopped for breakfast at a café that Roy says fits in with Jamie’s diet. He says no coffee and Jamie makes a disgusted face and replies you’re not the boss of me, which is why they’re letting Bea decide if Jamie gets coffee or not by seeing who will get her to smile first. 
Jamie wins, of course. It’s part of being a dad. 
They’re sitting at a table outside till 9am, Bea out of her stroller and in Jamie’s arms. They’re on their third cups of coffee and Bea’s draining her bottle of formula like there’s no tomorrow. Jamie is in the middle of stroking Bea’s nose (a miniature version of yours) and watching her eyes blink slow, when two girls walk up to their table. 
“Ohmygod, no way, is that your baby?” one girl asks. 
Jamie looks up and gives a polite, perfunctory, “yeah,” and turns back to Bea. Roy’s sitting back in his seat, ready to watch this unfold. 
“It is like, so totally adorable. There’s something so sweet about a baby, don’t you think?” the other girl says, putting her hand on Jamie’s shoulder. He shifts away as politely as he can. 
“I just think that like, men with babies are so much hotter than men without babies,” girl 1 continues, oblivious to Jamie, who has shifted Bea onto his chest and is displaying his left hand as conspicuously as possible. He taps Bea’s back with his ring finger in what he hopes is an absentminded manner. 
Roy holds back a snort.
“Especially single dads,” says girl 2. “Soo hot. I’ll give you my number if you ever need a babysitter.”
She’s barely done speaking when Jamie blurts out, “I’m married.” He looks so harried that this time Roy can’t hold back a laugh. The girls turn to him with a glare, then back to Jamie. 
“She doesn’t have to know,” says one of them. 
“Pretty sure she does,” Jamie replies. “And anyway, I ain’t interested. Have a good morning.”
Bea, the angel that she is chooses that exact moment to start burping. 
The girls give her a disgusted look and turn away. 
Roy looks at Jamie, eyebrows raised and a ghost of a smile on his face. “Nice fucking move with the ring finger,” he says. “If it were me, I’d’ve fucking given them a different fucking finger.”
“That’s where you and me differ, granddad,” Jamie replies, wiping spit up off his vest (waterproof, thank god), “I’m a gentleman.”
Roy rolls his eyes and shakes his head. 
— 
The windows are open, the laundry is spinning, and you’re dancing around the house. You love Bea, but god you also love good rest. And a clean house. And Jamie Tartt. Man, you love him. You can’t believe he took Bea out for the whole morning and knowing him and Roy, they’ll be out until at least 11am. You smile. That gives you time to head to the shops and pick up some flowers, which will make you feel like a civilized human being, one who has her life together and can take care of her child and her husband and maybe, just maybe, one who is in the mood to get laid tonight. 
Jamie and Roy are strolling through Richmond, passing by shops and enjoying what feels like the first lovely day in ages. Jamie hasn’t heard from you since you asked is this shirt clean or dirty? with a picture near the washing machine. He knows Saturday cleaning is like a ritual to you, one you picked up in high school and carried on through college. You have a system and you take your time, windows open and music playing. He can picture you spinning around the house putting things away, and that mental image is enough to make his face split into a smile. He remembers the Saturdays you spent before Bea, you cleaning and dancing, and him, well, not helping but certainly dancing with you and promising that he’ll give you more dirty sheets to wash if you’d just take a tiny little break? In the bedroom? With no clothes on because they need to be washed, wink wink?
It usually worked. 
You’d lay in bed for precisely ten minutes afterward, take a no-nonsense shower, then kick him out of the house. He’d be gone for an hour, buying you that chocolate you liked and whatever flowers he thought suited the day. There’s a good thought. He should get you flowers, a reminder of their early days of romance. And maybe, just maybe, Bea can sleep soundly enough that they can revive other traditions, too. 
“Roy,” Jamie begins.
“No.”
“Oi, you didn’t even let me finish!” he says indignantly.
“Fine. What do you fucking want.”
“It ain’t for me,” Jamie says, “it’s for Bea. And my wife. I want to get her flowers, but it ain’t easy to push the stroller and look. Can you take Bea around the green? I’ll come find ya when I’m done.”
Roy stares at Jamie, and Jamie is sure he’s going to say no. But then Roy walks around to the front of the stroller and crouches down in front of Bea. 
“If your dad fucking goes and gets flowers for your mum, do you promise to be alright for twenty minutes? I know I’m not fucking Sam or Isaac, but Phoebe thinks I’m a good uncle. She’s a proper fucking dweeb, but a good judge of character.”
Bea just stares at him. Roy slaps his thighs and stands up. “Alright,” he says. “Let’s go.”
Jamie grins and says, “Bye, Beatrice. Be good for Uncle Roy.” He gives her a kiss on her forehead, a boop on the nose, and is gone, weaving through Richmond, man on a mission. 
“Your mum’s a fucking saint for putting up with him,” Roy says to Bea. Bea says nothing. She’s fallen asleep. Roy shrugs and starts pushing her in the direction of the green. Better asleep than crying. 
You’re showered, dressed, with just a touch of makeup, and you’re on your way to the flower shop. There’s this little one you and Jamie used to go to. You know the owner a little, but you suppose Jamie knows her better because he’s been in more. She’s about the age of his mum, and has a soft spot for him. He overpays and always leaves one flower for her. He hasn’t had the time to be over since Bea, so you say hello and show her some baby pictures, and then some of Bea and Jamie. You both laugh over your favorite, Jamie passed out on the couch, mouth open, wearing gray sweatpants and a single sock, with Bea on his stomach in a gray onesie and a single sock. She’s drooling on him and his hair’s a mess, but you think it’s adorably hilarious. Like father, like daughter. 
Now, you’re perusing the flowers. It smells wonderful, the warm weather diffusing the fragrances through the shop. You turn a corner and bonk straight into a man with his back turned to you. You open your mouth to apologize and he turns, and out comes, “Jamie?”
He smiles and you peer behind him. “Where’s Bea? Oh my god Jamie, did you lose our daughter? She had better be close by, I swear to god, Jamie Tartt, how do you lose an entire baby, especially one as noisy as Bea?!” 
You’re oblivious to Jamie’s attempts to interrupt your rant, so when you pause for a breath he says, “love.”
You turn to face him, from where you were trying to stand on your tiptoes hoping for a glimpse of Bea’s stroller. 
“I didn’t lose her. She’s with Roy. D’you really think I’m that irresponsible?” 
He looks so hurt that you realize what you’ve been saying. Your hands fly up to your mouth. Of course Jamie wouldn’t lose Bea. He loves her. He looks at her as though she makes the stars shine. 
“Babe. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. I just wasn’t expecting to see you, and then I wasn’t expecting to see you without Bea, and I thought I’d surprise you by getting flowers before you both got back, and-” you stop. Jamie is gently holding your face and smiling, no longer hurt. 
“Babe,” he says, “love of me life and best mum around, it’s ok. I know whatcha mean.” He tucks a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “Bit funny we had the same idea, innit?”
You smile. You’d been so caught up in your split-second worry about Bea, you didn’t even realize what was happening. 
“Guess some things don’t change,” you reply. “You pick out any good ones?”
Jamie places his hand over his heart. “Love. I only pick out good ones. I picked you, didn’t I?” You laugh at his sparkling eyes, and put your hands on his waist, pulling him close. 
“Pretty sure I picked you,” you reply. 
Jamie hums. “That’s a fuckin lie, and you know it.”
Your feeble retort is cut off by his lips on yours. 
You and Jamie walk toward the green, hand in hand. He’s holding bright yellow daffodils in the other. 
Jamie spots Roy first. “Oi!” he yells, “look who I found!”
You wave, jog over to Bea, and crouch down. “Hi baby! I missed you! Did you have fun with Uncle Roy?” Bea babbles at the sound of your voice. 
“Oh good,” you reply, “he is your third-favorite uncle, after all.”
Roy nods. “You fucking get it. Jamie tried to feed me this fucking bullshit that I was fucking number one.”
“Jamie!” you say. “Everyone knows it goes Sam, then Isaac, then Roy.”
Jamie puts his hands up defensively. 
“Honesty,” Roy says, “Such an admirable quality. Remind me again why you’re with this fucking prick?”
You pretend to think for a moment then say, “For his money.”
Jamie says “Oi!” so you quickly amend, “And his smokin’ hot body.”
Jamie nods, satisfied. “That’s better.”
Roy is looking at Jamie in disgust. “You two are so fucking adorable, it’s fucking disgusting. C’mon Bea. I see Sam over by that bench. Let’s give these fucking idiots some time alone.”
You and Jamie turn to each other. 
“He said we’re adorable,” you say, grinning. 
“He said we get alone time,” Jamie says, grinning back. 
“Roy!” you call, “how much time do we have?”
“Three hours!” Sam yells back. “I want to walk Bea to my restaurant!”
You and Jamie turn back to each other, giddy. 
“You know what that means,” you say. 
“Sex,” he replies immediately. 
You laugh and grab his hand. “C’mon, babe. Let’s enjoy our alone time.”
As you walk away, Jamie says, “Oi, need to tell you about these girls who were trying to flirt with me. But don’t worry, I gave them the finger.” He holds up his ring finger and you slap his arm. 
“This is why I love you.”
“Really? And here I only thought you were with me for my money,” he replies. 
“And your hot body. Don’t forget that one,” you say. 
“How could I forget?” he says. “When we get home, let’s put it to some good use.
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smol-bean-boi13 · 28 days ago
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FIRST IMPRESSIONS!!
Echo Walker x Raphael Hamato <3
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Echo is me and @percy-eats-souls 's OC that is shipped with Raph in Rottmnt ^^
Info below! ⤵️
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Who is Echo?:
Echo is Draxum's biological daughter, Echo hates Draxum (trained her to be a general for war), and was forced to fight in the Nexus, and soon killed her best friend, Mars.
Once she met the turtles, she left Big Mama, and was taken in by Señor Hueso, she and the turtles eventually met up again when she was working for Hueso in his restaurant. They started to reach out to her more, and some feelings for a certain red cladded turtle grew along the way.
A whole bunch of hijinks ensue, and one day, the two confessed to each other, however, they forgot to inform the rest of the Hamato family until weeks after.
Echo and Raph love each other very much, and both would do anything for the other. They are both 16 years old and dating :)
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Here is her masterpost and Please check out Percy's blog for any more info!
We love our silly little turtle gal and hope you vote for her! :D
@tmnt-ocxcanon-comp
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shprka · 5 months ago
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Harringrove cheesy 80s rom com au where Billy moves to Hawkins with his mom and her "good friend" Susan (+Max) but because he didnt grew up around his dad he's a total nerd, awkward as hell and with a bit of a temper. He spends most of his time reading or studying or hanging out by himself (or with his cringe little sister bc he doesnt have his own friends)
The worst thing - he doesnt care about his looks. So he has frizzy longish hair, giant glasses, freckles all over his cheeks from the Calfornia sun and baggy 'hippy' clothes his mom chose for him
He meets rich boy King Steve who is on the verge of a breakup with Nancy and trying to stay in high school's good graces and not loose his reputation. So he accepts a bet to make the biggest looser in school into a ladies man and his eyes immediately fall on Billy who just dropped a tray full of cafeteria food on himself
Anyway lots of hijinks ensues, Steve tries to befriend Billy the Nerd and slowly molds him into a version of him everyone loves but no one truly wants to know.
Steve helps Billy join the basketball team, helps him find good workout gear at home, invites him to parties and gets him to drink, and smoke weed
But what Steve has the most fun with - hair! And clothes! So we get a montage of Billy trying on different ridiculus hairstyles and outfits until Billy puts on some boots with sinfuly tight jeans on, a white shirt and a leather jacket. Steve spends HOURS on Billy's hair and finally takes the curlers out and Billy's golden curls frame his face like a halo
And we have a cheesy moment of Steve standing reallll close and gently taking Billy's glasses off and he's mesmerised by Billy's ocean eyes, his cute freckles, bitten red lips and his amazing hair and has a half a mind to just stay home and kiss Billy silly
And then they go to a party and everyone fawns over thr new Billy and Steve is there getting the praise and silently seething with jealousy
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saltymongoose · 1 year ago
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ohh my goodness. i've been waiting to send these until requests were open bc i wanted to hear ur thoughts.
might be a little silly, but consider: matching outfits. player gathers clothing materials!! and coordinates outfits one day on missions!!!! even makes props!!! hijinks ensue. idk if this had already been disscussed before, but thank you for your time and consideration, ily. you are so cool <<3333!!!!!!! everything you make is so scrumptious!!!!! <33
Omg, thank you, this is so nice of you!!! :D ❤❤❤❤ I love this art so much, you have no idea - the way you portray the boys here fits so well (as always lol). And the memes too omg!! I can't even put it into words to be honest with you, these are just excellent. I do feel slightly bad for that random grunt though, something tells me they'll be sleeping with one eye open after seeing that lmao.
(Also, thank you so much for the compliments too of course, you're far too kind. (˶⸃ ⴰ⸃˶)♡ I could say the same to you btw; your art is always just *chef's kiss* perfection.)
Anyhow, I've actually thought a bit about this scenario before, but this just inspired me, so I wrote some short hcs for you. Hope you like them! <3:
The Player Matches Outfits with Them ft. The Main 3 + 2BDamned
(TW: Yandere, Obsessive Behavior)
- [2BDAMNED] -
2BDamned knew that you had been working on a little project - one that you tried to keep as secret as possible. He was curious, but not enough to encroach on whatever boundary you set regarding it. All he knew from your rather lackadaisical explanation was that he'd be very surprised when he saw. And, well, he was.
The first conscious thought in 2BDamned's head is the question of how you've managed to make a mask that looks so similar to his without borrowing the original. It's really spot on; the seams are in the exact same place, and even if yours has to have been configured differently to fit your more human facial features, the silhouette is exactly the same.
(In the end, he concludes that you simply must've studied his appearance for a while to truly replicate his mask, which makes him feel almost giddy in a way he might've deemed embarrassing before meeting you. But now he's just overcome with happiness that you were obviously interested enough in him to do this.)
He openly praises your skill in sewing, knowing that grunt clothing is ordinarily much too large for you. And you'd notice how the fondness he holds for you seeps into the words, his gaze lingering on you in a way that left you feeling warm.
If you could see underneath his own mask, you'd be able to see the smile he was unable to bite back as well, and the flush that he'd try to will away otherwise. And while he is incredibly impressed (and happy) at what you've managed to put together, he will mention that you could also borrow his actual things once in a while, if you feel so inclined. He just happens to think one of his own jackets might suit you too.
(Of course, he doesn't miss the chance to lean real close to adjust your mask as he says this either, just to fluster you even more. You really have no idea how cute you are, especially looking like this.)
- [DEIMOS] -
A full minute of unintelligible sputtering leaves Deimos' lips the moment he sees your new outfit, and you laugh at the way his face goes bright red. When you said you had a surprise, this was one of the last things he expected.
Luckily for him, he's able to quickly gather his composure, and his excited ramblings turn into smooth flirts that'll leave you blushing instead of him. Expect all sorts of comments about how cute you looked dressed up like him, and praises about how you look even better in his fit than he does.
He insists on taking a ton of pictures together, and you can bet he keeps his favorite in his wallet. (It's one of your faces smushed together as you both grin at the camera, making a heart with your hands.)
He considers this a total power-couple thing; matching shirts are so low-effort compared to this, if anything it shows you perfect you are together. Although there is one thing he'd help you change from your original DIY version of his outfit - those sheet-metal dog tags you made can't compare to the real thing in his opinion, so why don't you just use one of his instead?
Also, don't think he won't take advantage of the fact that you both are the only ones with headsets. Even if yours isn't functioning (because let's be honest, finding one in working condition would be difficult), he'll fix it up quickly just so he can talk more directly to you during missions. And whenever else he wants to, to the irritation of the other three.
- [SANFORD] -
Sanford would consider his outfit to be fairly standard, but he recognized that you were emulating him the moment you slid the sunglasses on. And he couldn't stop the goofy smile from splitting his face when he realized it either, not even attempting to hide his amusement at what you've done.
(He only gets visibly happier when you 'threateningly' brandish your wire hook in his direction. You really put a lot of thought into this, didn't you?)
While Sanford has the amount of restraint in him to not openly brag about you doing this, he can't deny the rush of satisfaction he gets from seeing you in what is an unmistakable homage to him. If you look closely, you'll see him straighten up in pride whenever you come into view. (It's almost like preening, really. If he weren't so flushed, perhaps you'd think it to be more of an ego thing, but no.)
Although, he does show a little bit more concern about some aspects of your outfit. Like your boots, for example; he can't count the number of times he's gotten blisters while breaking in his own, so you should expect him to ask you if you need any plasters (or help bandaging yourself as well).
(If you decide to accept his offer, you'll find yourself questioning whether he ever officially trained as a medic before. He surely has the gentleness befitting of one, shown in how he carefully cleans your wounds and softly applies the ointment, his calloused fingers gently smoothing over the plasters on your Achilles heels afterward. Although you have the slightest suspicion that this tenderness from him is known only to you.)
Sanford will also make it part of his routine to pluck your glasses from your nose and clean them after he does his own. Afterward, he'll slowly lean in when he places them back on you to make sure he doesn't poke you in the eye. Neither of you mention that you could do it yourself, or that his decision to slide them back onto the bridge of your nose himself was highly unnecessary. Maybe he just does it to get a better look at the way you blink up at him and blush, or perhaps it's for some other reason, who's to say? Either way, you have no complaints.
- [HANK J. WIMBLETON] -
Your laughs are muffled under Hank's hands as he cups your face, tilting it up to look closely at you. His excitement at your new look is almost palpable; you can easily tell from how he's shaking and hurriedly looking over, his gaze never stopping on one spot for longer than a second. He just wants to take in everything about your new look, is all.
He'll almost insist on doing a mission with you wearing it, not only because the idea sounds fun to him (with his love of carnage and all), but also because it provides an excellent opportunity to rub in everyone else's faces that you chose to copy his outfit. Not theirs.
In a way, he also becomes just a tad more doting than usual. He busies himself with dusting you off, and adjusting your goggles and the lapels of your coat whenever another skirmish is finished. It's his way of checking you over and making sure your hard work wasn't damaged either.
(Plus, he'd hate it if this instance of you copying him was cut short because of some worthless grunts' attempts at harming you.)
You'll catch him sticking closer to you than usual too, and he does so for multiple reasons. First is that he just prefers to be near you whenever he can anyway (the warmth of your presence is one of his favorite things, and it gives ample opportunity to show off around you), but now there's also the fact that your outfit will freak out your enemies. As you can imagine, he enjoys that immensely, and what better way to improve this experience than to have his Player join him?
In a way, Hank also sees this as a sort of 'claim' you've put on yourself too. Wearing your significant other's clothing is kind of a thing with some grunts, and while he knows they aren't really his clothes, there's still some of that same sentiment there that makes him purr just a bit louder whenever he sees you in that new outfit of yours. It tells the world you're his in some way, even if not officially. So why wouldn't he be happy about that?
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