#some r a combo of two or all three

[heuimagines]

See the problem is that I want to post here but the fantasies I’ve spun around my head recently are either a.) too sexual b.) too self indulgent/specific or c.) too heavy to open this page with. do u see my problem. - 🫀

[tangerinesilk]

－ DISTRACTION : DAVE LIZEWSKI

dave was a great study buddy, but there's no doubt he was a distraction. he constantly made you turn your head twice at whatever he said or did whether it was some comic book character he rambled about or how his pale blue eyes shined under the warm lighting of his desk lamp.

pairing ✷ college!dave lizewski x college!fem!reader

rating ✷ r (18+ minors dni!)

tropes ✷ friends with benefits, spicy but no / little plot, unspoken love, domestic toward eachother but no dating, dorky and awkward people in love who just wont admit it theyre in love (sort of) | nsfw warnings below!

word count ✷ 1.7k

a/n ✷ um this was a random thought and it just sort of happened. stg it feels like i blacked out while writing this KSKFFKS what is going on with me. anyways been wanting to write about this cute dork for a while and why not make it really hot. posting now so i dont chicken out but ill edit later.... i always love feedback! xo

[ steamy warnings: mentions of public sex, dom & sub switches, p in v without protection, nipple play, hj + bj, f receiving oral from m, praising + heavy dirty talk, face sitting, finishing inside v ]

typical weekends: saturday night at dave's apartment.

dave was explaining something... it was something. something important, but all you could focus on was his pretty eyes and how soft his lips looked today. he pushed his glasses up more on his nose bridge again, looking down at his book for one of his college classes.

he was so into the subject, you didn't even have to nod. you were occasionally tapping the eraser end of your pencil against your blank notebook, only listening to every other word.

suddenly, your mind wanders to when you two were doing laundry at three in the morning and got a little spontaneous. then getting a bit handsy on the top floor of the library where no one usually was. maybe even the time when you were visiting him back home for one weekend and you both could barely keep it together with company downstairs.

ever since you both agreed on this friends with benefits agreement, your dry spells were no longer an issue. it seemed like both of you were touched starved, but not wanting to meet other people, strangers you didnt want or need to know.

so, after becoming lab partners in your fall semester of senior year, its been nonstop seeing each other. not just for sex, but hanging out to study, going to local comic book stores and libraries, even the occasional dinner and sleepover combo at his apartment or yours.

it seemed like a wild card at first, but you would never admit (outloud) to dave lizewski that you underestimated how great his tongue felt inside your pus—

"y/n, are you even listening?"

you cleared your throat, "hmm?"

he chuckled, "so you weren't... i know, its kind of boring."

now you felt bad, caught up from going down memory lane and he was excited about his new class.

you ran your hand over his curls, "im sorry, dave. my mind was wandering."

he turned, seeming interested, "about what?"

you felt the heat rise to your cheeks, "about... you know..." you trailed then shrugged, "stuff."

dave smiled, "oh yeah? you weren't, i dont know, thinking about me?"

you had seen this confidence grow inside dave as more time passed, and you weren't sure if it was cockiness, but you couldn't deny how cute yet attractive it was on him.

"why dont you go back to what you were rambling about? please. im all ears now." you lean in, placing your hands underneath your chin with your elbows on his desk.

its ironic how his full size bed was behind the two of you yet here you are, acting like this was the first time you've hung out.

he pressed wet kisses against your inner thighs, your clit aching for his mouth as his nose brushed against your skin. he'd let out a nervous chuckle as he noticed the wet spot forming on the center of your panties. you'd bite your bottom lip as he licked his lips, in awe of the mess you were for him.

dave pulled down your panties, shuffling them down your ankles before tossing them to the side. his strong hands run up the top of your thighs before holding your hips, pulling your core closing to his mouth. after his first, yet hesitant, kiss on your clit, you let out a faint moan.

soon his tongue was running over your open slit and tasting your sweet wetness. you arched your back, leaning back on his desk as he flicked your clit a few times. when he pushes his tongue inside you, a rush of heat runs over your entire body. you caress your own breasts and pull at your own nipples as he picks up his pace.

"fuck... god, yes. eat my fucking pussy." you whimpered. he got so weak when you uttered your sweet nothings. as dominant as he thought he presented himself, dave was a sucker for you.

just when you thought it couldn't get better, he slide his two fingers into your slit as his tongue flicks your swollen clit. you told him how you love when he curled his fingers inside you, knuckle deep and gathering your wetness every pump as he brought you closer to your orgasm.

your hips grind against his mouth and hand, painfully near your climax. he cursed under his breath as he felt your pussy clench around his digits. he pulls his mouth away from your clit, trailing more kisses over your stomach then rolls his tongue against your right nipple.

his hand still worked your slit, thrusting so fast that your head was spinning along with the pleasure of him sucking your erect nipple. you glanced down, seeing how his hard pressed against his khakis. just the thought of taking his cock into your mouth made you dizzy, bucking your hips against his fingers.

"yes... make me cum. i wanna fucking cum on your fingers." you muttered under your breath, pulling at his curls. dave's knees were giving out as he held his position but he loved to hear your continous begging.

he was about to see if he could pick up his pace before your hand reached down, sliding into the front of his stained pants and caressing his hard cock. he grunted against your chest, instantly weak from your touch which made him pause.

"hmm, what about i cum on your cock instead?" you giggled as your lips met his, "it's so hard... bet you've been thinking about cumming inside my tight pussy, huh, dave?"

he sighed, "shit..."

"that's what i thought, baby." you say before taking his fingers into your mouth, tasting your own cum. he takes a mental picture even though you've done this in your previous hookups.

you hop off the desk, playfully pushing him on his twin size bed. you slowly get on your knees, running your hand over the crotch of his pants that were already unbuttoned and half unzipped. it's easy for your pull his cock out, practically springing from his briefs.

his eyes are glued to you as your tongue runs up and down the base before wrapping your lips against his red tip. you half-giggle when you taste his pre-cum, then carefully take him all in your mouth. you gag a bit as his tip pushes further in, and he groans when your throat tightens around him.

you push your tongue out to make sure your teeth dont graze his cock as you deep throat him, incredibly slow, so he can watch in awe. he leans up on his elbows, falling apart as you take him in your mouth so easily and your hand pumping the rest of his base.

"fucking christ... fuck." he muttered, his dick twitching inside your mouth as your salvia runs down when you gag on his hard.

his hand runs over your hair, gathering it together to keep it out of your face— also to have a better view of him receiving one of the best blowjobs you've given him.

when you pull your mouth away, you giggle as you pump his cock with your spit lubricating for better motion. his face screws together the faster you pump, and he can barely take the pleasure.

"hmm, i bet you wanna cum on my face... and tits. but, i want you to cum inside me." you say as you but your bottom lip, running your thumb over the cum leaking from his tip.

"me too, baby. fuck!" he grunts, and it makes you smile at how much of a mess he is too.

you rise from your knees, relieving the pressure on them before straddling him on his bed. you pull off your top, tossing it on the other side of the room as he quickly peels his shirt off as well. his big hands run up your body, over your breasts once more as his thumbs move against your nipples.

"god, i want to feel every inch of your cock... so, don't stop until you're finished." you tell him as you run his tip agaisnt your slit before slowly sinking down on him.

"babe, shit... fuck." he whimpered, his fingers pressing into your hips as you arch your back.

"god, im so tight." you moan, "your cock is so big... can barely fit you inside me." you huff, your eyes closed shut as you slowly move your hips.

soon, you meet a nice pace of bouncing on his cock and he loosens up as he watches you move up and down. his bright eyes keep moving between looking at your tits and your face, completely amazed by your beauty.

you run your hands over his toned chest and abdomen, leaving light scratches on his skin from the waves of pleasure coursing throughout your body.

"dave, im gonna cum. oh, oh! i'm gonna cum." you announced to him and he was holding off anyways, his jaw clenched his much that it was beginning to feel painful.

as you arch your back and let out a long whine, he stills his hips as his warm cum fills you up. it was the first time he was fully inside you, and you were aching around his cock, feeling it throbbing against your walls.

he leans up, leaving a soft kiss just above your breasts before you two share another kiss. you can't help but giggle, both of you feeling that sudden hit of exhaustion.

you lift yourself from your cock and cum runs down your slit, letting him see the mess he made. dave smirks, expecting him to say that he'll get you a towel but instead licks his lips and starts to lean down between your legs again.

it was like deja vu. his tongue presses against your swollen slit, tasting your mixed cum before sucking on your sore clit. now you're so sensitive to the touch, you could orgasm again at any moment. he was so in tune with your body that he knew what pace to go and how long you could actually lasts.

you run your hands over your breasts, his tongue moving so perfectly between your slit and clit. you feel his press a light kiss against the area above your pussy before trailing more kisses up your body. then, you two shared another kiss, tasting each other's tongues once more before he laid next to you.

"you know, i've never had a study partner like you." you jeered, pressed a kiss against the start of his jaw.

he blushed, "me neither..." he raised his eyebrows, "trust me."

[cobaltperun]

omg wait , if possible could you do a tara x amber to tara x reader , soccer!au with like r and amber being on the soccer team together and competing against each other to make tara fall for one of them but tara chooses amber first but amber like ,, betrays her or cheats on her and that’s when tara realizes she always loved r and they end up together

Sweep 'er off Her Feet

Tara Carpenter x female reader (Request)

Masterlist

Word count: 2.3k

Soccer has been your passion since you were a child, you spent hours chasing ball back then, hoping that maybe, just maybe, you could one day play at least for a school team. It wasn’t that you weren’t good, you definitely put in effort to get good, but the issue was Woodsboro, there just weren’t enough girls interested in soccer in your primary and middle school.

So, when you started high school and realized there was an actual soccer team you jumped at the opportunity. Easily filling in any position that was empty at the moment. There was one position you exceled at more than the others though. Sweeper. You could play offensive as well, but there was something inherently appealing in the idea of defending your goal, being the last line of defense before the goalkeeper and the opposing team. Waiting and reacting, making sure your team didn’t have to catch up to the other team, and could instead focus on taking the lead.

And you were damn good at it. And Woodsboro high school team quickly became one of the top high school teams in the local competitions. You had a mean combo. You’d do your part as the sweeper, pass the ball forward to your team’s striker, Amber Freeman, and she was one hell of a striker.

The two of you just pulled that combo off, winning another game just in the nick of time and you were celebrating, cheering with the students from your school that came to see you all.

“That was amazing!” Tara exclaimed from the stands as you and Amber stopped near her.

“The mastery of yours truly,” Amber bragged, being the one who scored the goal.

Tara laughed. “Don’t take all the credit, Y/N’s pass was great as well,” she remarked, winking at you as you grabbed a towel and began wiping the sweat off your face.

Amber rolled her eyes and jokingly smacked you on the shoulder. “Yeah, yeah, hear that? You’ve got a fan,” she teased causing you to glare at her.

It wasn’t a secret that you had a crush on Tara, but the thing was, Amber was also interested in her. “Easy there, Freeman, you’re turning green,” you shoved her back.

Amber scoffed and turned her attention to Tara. “I am really grateful you take notice of our sweeper. It’s such a boring position I was worried no one would realize she was on the field,” she offered Tara a confident smirk.

“Boring?” well sure, it wasn’t exactly the most exciting position, but it wasn’t boring!

Tara lightly scratched her cheek and looked away, chuckling a bit uncomfortably.

“Wait, really?” you had to ask her.

“A bit,” she held up her fingers and smiled apologetically, but the look in her eyes told you she was only teasing you. Actually teasing, without any harm meant by it, unlike Amber whose teasing always held at least a hint of malice within it.

You turned to the side dramatically. “The betrayal!” you overreacted with raised fists and grinned when Tara laughed.

~X~

This dynamic continued, Tara would always be there on your matches, she would always cheer the loudest, and the three of you would always chat after the game ended. And you slowly got closer, your friend groups merging and eventually it wasn’t just chats after the matches. It was study sleepovers, hanging out, going to the movies together.

Tara was important to you, so important you feared telling her about your crush on her would ruin your friendship in some way, so you remained silent.

You should have spoken up.

~X~

Tara, after finishing her last classes headed toward the soccer field where you had your practice before another big game. She watched you, practicing your long passes, each time sending the ball with incredible precision. It was no wonder Amber had an easy time, you would pass the ball to her on the perfect spot to make the path to the goal as easy as possible.

And then there was Amber, the polar opposite of you, just passing time on the field. That was the thing with Amber, she was pure talent, monstrously talented, she barely practiced. And there was a time she thought you were the same, but as she got to know the two of you she learnt you spent hours practicing, simply out of your love for soccer, and so you were arguably a much better soccer player than Amber, your position just wasn’t as prominent. Tara admired you for that, for the constant effort and dedication.

“Hey, Tara,” Amber saw her and came up to her, that charming, a bit seductive smile on her face.

“Amber, hi,” Tara replied, brushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear and smiling at the black-haired girl. She had a bit of a crush on Amber, and she was glad whenever she got to have a proper conversation.

“You know, there’s a party at one of my teammates’ place tomorrow night, I was wondering if you’d like to come as my date?” Amber asked her directly, without a hint of doubt in her voice or posture. In Amber’s eyes the answer was obvious.

And Tara had to agree, the answer really was obvious. “Of course, I’d love to go with you,” she replied, blushing as Amber pulled her into a hug and kissed her on the lips, thought she quickly kissed the team striker back.

~X~

A month later you still occasionally sulked that Amber ended up asking Tara out. But, you refused to show it in front of Tara, the two of you still hung out, you still spent enough time together due to hanging out in the same group. And much like with anything else in her life, Amber remained assertive, feeling the need to show that Tara was her girlfriend.

Who did Amber think you were? Someone who would wreck a relationship?

Hell no!

And Tara looked fairly happy with Amber, so you definitely weren’t going to interfere in any way.

You could still sulk though. So, here you were, at a party after winning local tournament. It was loud, there was some alcohol, though you really never found appeal in it. So even though plenty of people around you drunk you went for a coca cola instead.

“You know, if you wanted to get the girl, your position really doesn’t make you instantly noticeable. No one notices defenders until they either fuck it up, or really create a miracle,” Liv, one of your teammates, pointed out.

You rolled your eyes at that and took a sip of your drink. “Yeah, well, being a sweeper has grown on me, I don’t feel like switching just yet.”

But before Amber could reply both of you saw Tara rushing outside.

“Was Tara crying?” Liv asked as you jumped to your feet.

“She was,” you ran after Tara, worried about what could have happened to cause such a reaction from usually composed girl.

~X~ About ten minutes earlier ~X~

She thought her relationship with Amber was going strong, she thought Amber liked her, wanted to have a steady relationship with her. She didn’t think Amber would leave her alone during a party she wasn’t really feeling like coming to anyway. Yes, your team won the competition, but Tara had a test tomorrow and she didn’t feel like spending the night in a loud, smoke and alcohol filled place.

She was looking for Amber all over the huge house, hoping to find her and let her know she was leaving. She did not think she would see Amber in a bed, naked, riding a guy that looked several years older than her.

“Amber?” she managed to say the girl’s name, stopping her movements for a few moments. But instead of stopping, or looking ashamed Amber just continued on, aware that Tara was there and Tara felt sick.

She ran out of the room and slammed the doors closed behind her. She leaned against the wall, her eyes wide and her breathing so rapid she had to use her inhaler to calm down. Yet the tears still fell down her cheeks. A part of her hoped Amber would come out, explain herself, but deep down Tara knew two things. First that no matter what Amber said it wouldn’t change the fact that she chose to cheat on Tara, and the second that, as much as it hurt to admit it, Tara understood Amber wouldn’t be coming out, and so she ran down the stairs, still crying and only wishing to leave the damn party.

She ran outside, the air suddenly feeling rather cold. “Tara!” she heard your voice and stopped. You must have seen her crying, or at least rushing to leave, and you got worried. You got worried and Amber cheated on her, how ridiculous was this situation? She wiped her tears, but they kept falling as you caught up with her and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Hey, what happened? Should I get Amber?” you asked, because of course you would. Why wouldn’t you assume that Amber and Tara were still fine, and that Amber would be able to fix this.

Tara shook her head and without thinking about it she just blurted out what she saw. “I saw her cheating on me,” she sobbed, watching as you went from concerned to shocked, to angry and then you turned around, seething and heading toward the house and somehow Tara realized you were likely going to go in and confront Amber about her affair.

Or was Tara the affair? How long did that last? Tara would probably never know.

“Y/N, wait!” she cried out, going after you and grabbing your forearm. You stopped, but you still looked toward the front doors, still ready to get into a fight. “It’s not worth it,” she told you softly.

“But thanks, it means a lot,” she managed a small smile.

“It’s worth it to me,” you argued, but you finally turned around and for a moment raised your hands toward Tara, as if to hug her, but you dropped them. Unsure if that was what Tara wanted when that was exactly what she needed, just to be held and comforted for a moment. So, seeing the initial intention, Tara just stepped forward and hugged you, letting the tears flow freely as you hugged her. “You’ll find someone better,” you assured her while rubbing circles on her back.

“That was my first relationship,” Tara confessed, and she liked Amber. She didn’t think her first relationship would be the one she stays in for the rest of her life, but she didn’t think it would end like this.

“Next one will be better,” your words did little to make her pain lesser, but she did find some comfort in them, in the thoughts of future. And what your words failed to do your presence and touch accomplished.

~X~

About a month and a half later you found yourself in front of Tara’s house, gathering courage to finally confess your feelings, or at the very least ask her out. A lot has happened since that night, mainly you and Amber still having a falling out, and it was damn lucky that you were done with high school, because soccer would be awful if you had to keep playing together.

Tara moved on, it took a bit of a time and a hell of a lot of support from you and the rest of your friends, but she moved on. You just hoped she didn’t decide soccer players in general were no longer a plausible option for her.

Just as you thought that Tara opened her front doors and hugged you. “Hey there, sweeper,” she teased you as the two of you pulled away.

“Hey there, cheerleader,” you teased back as she let you inside her house and led her to her room. You had a movie night planned and you were just a bit early, as usual. Tara wasn’t a cheerleader, hell, you didn’t have cheerleaders, but Liv once joked that since Tara cheered the loudest, she was the leader in cheering, hence, a cheerleader. “What are we watching tonight?” you asked.

“No idea. Mindy is choosing, so probably a horror,” Tara told you. You were sitting at her table and watching curiously as she circled around you and hugged you from behind. “Maybe I should hold your hand, since you can’t handle horror,” she suggested only half joking.

“Sure. Though I’d like it if you held my hand more often than that,” you blurted out, much more confidently than you thought you would.

Tara’s eyes widened as she looked at you. “Y/N?” you swore there was a hint of hopefulness in her eyes.

“Would you go out with me?” you asked softly, a bit worried about her response and making things awkward, but fine with whatever she decides.

“Yeah, I’d love that,” she hugged you tighter and leaned in, kissing you gently. “I thought you’d never ask, and I would have to ask you out instead tonight,” she teased as you grinned like a fool.

“And why didn’t you ask me out?” you nudged her, twisting in your seat so you could hug her back.

Tara adorably tapped her chin with her finger and looked toward the ceiling. “I guess I was too scared it might ruin our friendship,” she admitted, and you laughed.

“Same! I didn’t think you would like me back!” you confessed, feeling much lighter now.

Her eyes shone brightly, she looked happy, happier than she’s been in a long time. “I guess you swept me off my feet, my sweeper,” she laughed, kissing you once more. And you couldn’t remember the last time you were this happy.

[autisticlancemcclain]

Lance flicks on the lights and his soul damn near leaves his body.

“Jesus H. Christ one a one-wheeled motorbike, Pidge,” he gasps, hand pressed to his galloping heart. She doesn’t laugh �� Pidge doesn’t laugh often — but Lance has learned to read her, in the year or so they’ve been in space. He recognises the twitch of her mouth, the flash in her eyes. “What are you doing here?”

“Your lock code is embarrassingly easy to guess,” she says in lieu of an answer. Lance smiles reflexively at the matter-of-fact, half chiding tone. He pulls finally away from the wall, having caught his breath, and starts rifling through his cabinet.

“Yeah?”

He hears the shuffle of blankets, the muffled hits on a pillow being shoved into a lap. When he glances out of the corner of his eyes, he finds her sat comfortably in the dead centre of his bed, criss-cross-applesauce, nails picking at the threads of his pillowcase and eyes blinking owlishly behind her glasses.

“Yes. Fifty eighth most common four letter password.” She pauses a moment. “Spelling F-A-R-T with numbers is very immature.”

Lance snickers. He’d forgotten what his password spelt, he’s used the same combo so long. “Is that right?”

“Yes. You should come up with something more secure. It was my second guess.”

“What was the first?”

Pidge doesn’t seem to notice his curious look. Her eyes are focused on the items in his hands, watching diligently as he sits on the floor next to a dish of water, squeezing some soap into his hands and rubbing it all over his bare legs. Her head is tilted with a similar look of inquiry.

“Your birthday. What are you doing?”

Instead of answering, Lance removes the cap from his razor and starts to carefully drag it down his calfs, rinsing it every two strokes in the water. Pidge watches with rapt attention.

Weirdo, Lance thinks, fondly and hypocritically.

It doesn’t take long for the questions to start firing off.

“What’s the point of shaving your legs?”

“Gets rid of the hair.”

“Why do you want to get rid of the hair?”

Lance takes a moment to gather his thoughts, answering truthfully. “Lots of reasons. Not all of them I’m proud of. I started mostly ‘cause Veronica did it and I used to do everything she did.” He pauses. A sad smile pulls on his lips, and he swallows around the comfortingly familiar lump in his throat. “Well. ‘Used to’. If she was here I’d probably still be puttering around after her.” He finds Pidge’s eyes and smiles at her, winking. “Older siblings are easy to hang off of, huh?”

Her mouth twitches. She breaks eye contact, resting her chin on her knees and moving the pillow under her legs. “No. Older siblings are annoying. And ridiculous. I once followed Matt around all day and wrote down every single time he said ‘ow’. He said in on average twenty-three times an hour.” She meets his eyes again, mouth pinched and eyebrows raised. “Your average is twenty-four.”

“I see.”

“You should tie your shoes.”

“Nah.” He taps the razor on the side of the dish, gently sliding it to the other side of him and switching his razor to his left hand. “Anyways. When I was your age I mostly did it ‘cause Ronnie did it. Helped with swimming, too. But as I got older…” He frowns. “As I got older, I started feeling like I had to, I guess. Like I was ugly if I didn’t.”

A pinprick of pain makes his hand still, lifting the blade from around his ankle. A tiny drop of blood swells at the base of it. He sets the razor down, quickly grabbing a towel and dabbing at the nick. Ankle wounds always bleed so much — it doesn’t even hurt anymore, but he can’t pull the towel away or he’ll stain the floor.

“…Do you feel that way now?”

Lance doesn’t answer for a long moment. He hears Pidge fidget, clicking her nails together. The blood finally slows enough for him to pull away the towel, and he resumes shaving the last half of his leg — much more slowly, this time.

“Not exactly,” he says carefully. “I recognize why I feel that way. I know where that pressure comes from, why it’s harmful. But it’s still…there. I still catch myself thinking cruel things; I have to spend a few minutes talking myself out of them. I tried stopping for about a year. I didn’t like it.”

He finally finishes swiping up the last line of soap, rinsing off his razor and then gently running a cold, wet cloth over his legs to get rid of any lingering suds.

“Do you think you’ll try to stop again?”

“Hm. I don’t think so. I like the feeling of smooth skin more than hairy skin, I’ve found. It’s nice on fresh sheets, plus sometimes hair tickles me and makes me jumpy. Plus, it’s easier to moisturize.”

“Ohhh,” Pidge says, and when Lance looks up there’s a real look of understanding on her face — not the practiced one she puts on when she doesn’t actually get something but doesn’t want to look dumb. “Like — it’s the same as why you don’t like jeans and socks.”

Lance smiles. “Exactly. I’d walk around in nothing but shorts and a big t-shirt, if I had the choice.” Legs clean and clean-shaven, he picks up his tube of lotion and starts dabbing dollops all over the skin. “That’s all I ever wore back home.”

“Arizona is freezing half the time!”

“Cuba,” Lance reminds her.

“Oh yeah,” she says again. “But what about when it rained?”

Lance shrugs. “Better to wear flip flops and get wet feet than wet socks. Wet socks are the worst.”

“Yeah.” She shudders. “Like prickly sweaters.”

He hums. The lotion smells like juniberries, which kind of smells like pineapple and hibiscus mixed with a strange, almost spicy scent. Not quite home, but close enough to be nice.

He doesn’t ask Pidge why she broke into his room while he was in the showers and sat in the dark waiting for him to get back. The same way he doesn’t press when she follows him down the halls, disappearing behind corners when he turns to look, or sits by his feet during movie night. He lets her be prickly with affection and learns to hear the undercurrent in her constant comments and rambles, learns to read her questions about every thing he does as curious rather than judgemental.

She would ice him out for weeks if he said it out loud, but there was this stray cat that lived near his house, when he was young. It hissed and spit and clawed if you came halfway near it; Mamá had forbidden him from trying in case it was sick. But he used to leave out water for it at night and sometimes even sneak Abuelo’s heating pad, and every once in a while it would let Lance sit near it without clawing him. Once it even attacked one of the older kids who used to chase him after school.

It’s no coincidence that Pidge always happens to be in the same room as him 90% of the time. Or that she can guess his passcode easily.

“Hey, Pidgeon,” he says, unwrapping the towel from his hair and starting to work in the leave in conditioner. “The lockcode on my snack drawer is the same as the room code. Just so you know.”

She stares at him for several minutes.

Her mouth twitches.

“I could have figured that out myself.”

“I know.”

“You’re weird.”

He smiles. “You too, nerd.”

[nerdieforpedro]

Weekend Update 05/19/2024

Three weeks in a row. I should play the lottery, I might hit for some big money!

Nerdie, please. We think it’s fine that you play the lottery, but have you done much this week?

I will have you know, that I worked three 12 hour shifts in a row, one of which I was the charge nurse. Something I’ve never done before and only had a 4 hour class once. The person that was supposed to be training me was not there so I just did trial by fire. I also worked this weekend. 

Though the highlight of the week was Friday night!

What? You had a hot date? Good for you!

Huh? This is Nerdie you’re talking about, no. Not at all what happened. I got to see Hozier live in a concert! It was wonderful! I might still be singing all the songs, have played them for my coworkers and that one guy whose room I was in for 30 minutes getting him cleaned up and bed changed should know a fair bit of “Almost (Sweet Music)” and “Something New.” I think I also had a brunch with my family this week somewhere in there.

We have so many questions…did that man even know what you were singing? Is he now a fan? How was brunch? How did you even find out about the concert? Why wasn’t that the first thing you said?

Sometimes you gotta bury the lead. Brunch was with mama Nerdie and two of Nerdie’s brothers. I have three total. I’m the only girl. The concert was magical, I’m trying to figure out something for September but it’s likely sold out. I think I really lucked out last Friday. 

Nerdie, do you have anything fanfic related? We’re happy to know you’re doing well. We wonder sometimes, but you know, this is Tumblr.

This week will be a bit different. I did a lot of reading last week but this week, I didn’t read much of anything except beta reading for a couple people. So Nerdie will highlight some series she thinks you should peek at:

Symphony by @maggiemayhemnj (A wonderful series featuring Joel - who is having a moment with his new hair by the way. I did notice, how could one not? Has Joel and a female OFC in post outbreak Jackson.) Fun fact - one of my patients called me symphony so it’s going to be one of my many aliases now.

If Wishes Came True by @schnarfer (A Dieter Bravo trilogy. Our beloved trash panda is many things and has many expressions, some not so great. Can it turn into something worthwhile?)

Headshots by @secretelephanttattoo (Marcus Pike - being the sweet man that he is. The OFC is a photographer. Love blooms. It will give you warm fuzzies and you’ll sniffle. It’s totally fine to do so.)

Bloody Kisses by @perotovar (Shane Morrissey and Tim rockford are the combo I was not aware I needed and now I think about them. The longing, the realization, the understanding, the build up, and the growing pains. Just read it and you’ll get it.)

IRL by @grogusmum (A sweet Javi G fic. You and Javi have been chatting about your shared interest in movies and sparks fly. So much so that you fly to see him in person. How does that go? Read and find out.)

These are five series I’ve read, loved and will read again because I enjoy them. I hope you all do too. 

I believe I did post a Dieter one shot for the Dieter Bravo Brain Rot May challenge about aliens. 

Also @fhatbhabiee back! 💖💖

I was tagged by people for WIP Wednesday through Saturday so I’ll do something from my not titled Pero x Dragon fic (look - it was a thought I had and it morphed into this but it’s dialogue):

Darkness is beginning to take him as is the cold. Pero cannot feel his limbs nor tell if he’s moving them. “Hmmpf, you care nothing of your life? Just to let it slip away like this. You appeared to be a warrior of some sort. Do all human warriors lay on their belly and wait for their final breath? Such a pity.” This voice, such torture before death to be mocked like this, couldn’t he have died in battle?  “I’m already in hell only hearing this voice before I die. Goddammit.” The mercenary laments.  “Are all humans fools like this? Why will you not heed my words? I am not trying to reach you for simple vexation.” “Stop with your flowery words then. Say what you actually need. I’m not going to listen to you the entire time before I leave this earth.”

Pero is the type to curse and argue with demons, angels, monsters and Gods if it means he has the last word. I stand by this. Contrary to what this conversation reads like, Pero does not die. His fate could be worse than death, we’ll have to see. 👀

The Peeps who maybe tagged me? @tinytinymenace @connectioneverywhere @magpiepills @604to647 @djarinmuse

@megamindsecretlair and @for-a-longlongtime There are either people I missed or people who didn't tag me. My bad either way. 🤣

I’ve also been toying with which series between my Marcus therapy series and my sweet Javi P series to start posting on Tumblr. I’m not sure which one. Everyone one’s welcome to ask me questions about any of these WIPs, just know I may not stop talking about them like most fic writers. 

I think I do dialogue well in my fics, and wacky ideas, but I could use work on world building, smut, descriptions and other things. I think. Who knows, I'm just going to keep wiring and we'll see what happens.

Stay safe and hydrated everyone!

Love Nerdie!

[ehghtyseven]

some ramblings about the night of assists bc I don’t want to forget these little things 😍

sidney: just exceptionally pretty close up in person; thighs just exceptionally massive up close in person (cue even the dudebros behind me gushing over how big they were); apparently inherently lucky bc all three times I witnessed him place someone’s bet for them when asked, they won; not above cheating nudging the wheel to keep spinning later in the night if it wasn’t working out for people; braces (hot - should wear more often) but no hat (sad)

geno: in fine form; BIG hands, very deft; his face is just so expressive all the time, it’s delightful; no hat or braces (sad) but still effortlessly hot

tanger: still holding court at his blackjack table after everyone else was done; wonderfully judgemental, loud and dramatic over people’s choices; sent pojo to find him another drink when his was empty; braces and hat (👌)

pojo: so cute! kept trying to send the ball the wrong way at the roulette wheel; did not seem to mind in the slightest kappy telling him what to do whilst gently mocking him for it; was dancing to the street band at the end of the night & just generally having a fun time; braces and hat (good boy)

kappy: in his element; bossing pojo around; no braces or hat (boo)

dumo: is Not Good at mental maths bless him and checked every hand with us before paying out; gave me a $25 chip instead of a $5 at one point - tbf the lighting was low lol - and was just like ehhhhh keep it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯; says london reminds him of dc apparently; hat but no braces (“looked a bit amish” according to my friend)

jake: saw sid cheating helping by nudging the wheel and decided that meant he could too but much more blatantly; not above just spinning the whole thing again; generous with the payouts; sparkly braces but no hat (looked cute)

jason & rusty: did not seem to know the rules (not sure anyone did); had a very fond little lovers spat about it; jason mostly pleased they gave him the little stick you use to push things around with; hit himself in the head with it at one point; jason wearing his special velvet shoes again, rusty rocking a hat & beads combo, both wearing braces (nice job boys)

tristan: sweet boy, sweet smile; braces and hat (excellent fit in general)

dan potash: delightful; apologised that I’d witnessed two losses so far this trip; dismissed several hall of famers with a hand wave when talking about how good sid is; taller than expected; glittery waistcoat & hat, excellent shoes (a+ outfit choices all round)

sully: seen briefly, looked hot; regular suit, no hat (I would have liked to see it tbh)

burkie: seen briefly; giant beads instead of the open tie round his neck

r-hex: not seen, just as well tbqh

[pauking5]

you know these days I have been ritually coming here everyday to check if the latest chapter of runaway has been released?? Imma wait, cook as much as you like. I am sure it’s already delicious af!

Oh btw what do you think about being Capricorn (sun sign), Pisces (moon sign) and Sagittarius in the rising? these are my main 3 signs..just curious on what you think on it ^_^

And lastly, through all highs and lows you alone are the who keeps going! (Kay it didn’t turn as cool as i hoped it to be, references are gojo’s ‘through heaven and earth I alone am the honored one’ and jimin’s ‘you nice! Keep going!’)

hi dear anon!

oh my, this made a smile appear on my face 🥺 i'm so sorry to keep you waiting so long. i myself kicked my arse for it. but in my defence, i just felt like taking my time with this one. there's no day or night in the past months that i haven't tinkered with it to get it right, and i can happily say it's finally on the final final edit. there's a few stuff i want to work on some more but not too much. also, no one told me i'm cooking before 😏 💅 so thank you sksjsndjjs *flips hair giggling kicking my feet to the moon*

i sure hope it is delicious. she's one big chunky 46k + baby (the most i've ever written god), so i truly hope she's not a bore. i know i asked about the 20k being a lot but yall didn't have an issue with it so have double the bickering and action 🤡 i had thoughts of cutting it open down the middle to make it a two part but i thought i should wrestle with the 1000 block limit some more until it gave me brain damage :). anyways, i am excited as hell for this one because i can prematurely say it's given me ideas for a sequel that kinda i already started working on 😉

now, runaway blabber aside. *flips whiteboard over*

on the astrology side of things, can i just say it's one interesting big three to see. now, this is just my own interpretation of it so take with a grain of salt, or sugar if it fits right. your sun is like your main source of direction, not typically a big area of concern unless the element of the sign manifests in other aspects. your moon is your inner most self, the one that reflects who you most are or your true personality i would say. your rising governs the way you act in regards to things and situations and usually couples with your sun or mars (the depth of your urges), or mercury (the principles and ideas you live by).

a first look at yours and i can tell it's really well balanced.

as a capricorn sun, you're probably a really straight forward person, but coupled with your sag rising i'll bet my cheerios that you're one hell of a planner and have a set way of doing things orderly. it's an earth and fire combo, so where the cap part of you is grounded, the sag part of you might be a little prone to impulsive tendencies.

on your pisces moon, i can already tell you i love you. as a libra, i'm drawn to water aspects a lot and pisces moon is a placement i admire. it gets you out of that monotonous rut of planning and the stress of decision making, acting like your stress reliever and the part of you that likes to unwind through art. you're probably an avid music listener, expressing yourself through making or creating some form of art that lets you be who you want to be in that moment. or you're just a big admirer of it. either way, it's your balancing sign that keeps you tethered to what's important to you first and foremost.

now, your big three is just a few aspects of what makes up the beautiful you an ore of discoveries waiting to be found. your full chart can tell you way more about yourself than just these three aspects. i would advise diving into it and if you happen to find it difficult to dissect, i am always happy to provide help. i have times where i start researching one random placement in mine that i thought less of until it unveils so much i didn't know that resonated with me, putting it in the words i could never find. that and it's really fun and eye opening to read more about yourself from someone else's perspective astrologically. so if you need help, feel free to pop into my dms anytime 🤗

lastly, i love the quote of motivation. truly inspiring if it comes from dear gojo (lord bless his heart). so in true fashion, i'll leave you with one that's helped me through a lot of hard times when i wanted nothing more but to stop.

when you think you can't give it any more, you can put in a little more.

hope you're having a good day or night, keeping healthy, rested and happy ❤️

[yourkimjaejin]

Unwelcome Touch

Finally we have Hannah's tour!angst post!! I know it's been awhile but work got hectic but now we've calmed down a bit so I get my head right. We still have Juno's angst left but until then....Happy Reading!! ~ Author Izzy

Warning: I don't really know how to warn for this but the closest I can come up with is non-consensual touch and cornering. If anything like this is triggering for you, that part starts with the words

“Hi Hannah.”

and ends with

“Hannah!! Thank God! I’ve been looking all over for you.”

I'll bold both of these sentences so you can skip that section if you need to. I'll also put a description underneath the post of what happened.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Hannah could taste the barbecue on her tongue as she walked to The Smoke-Out, a restaurant she found online.

AG had made it to the Dallas stop on their world tour. Sometimes the girls questioned the decision making in their company. This time they got it right. Giving the members the space to rest between cities provided a small chance to recharge and give their best performance for fans in each city. Which Hannah took full advantage of. Her other members tapped out after three full days of exploring. But not our resident Hawaiian. .

The exploring bug has hit her HARD for the entire tour, but can you blame her. Hannah never traveled outside the borders of her hometown.. Now she lives in Korea and travels the world with AG and WayV. It’s only natural that she’d want to see everything she could. Not bad for a girl from the island

After spending her last free day seeing the sights no one else was interested in, Hannah was walking to a fan recommended barbecue restaurant. She ran forward once the neon sign came into view. Touring around the city really works up the appetite. Luckily some of the crowd had died down and the dancer was able to walk right up to the counter and order. 

“What would you like?” 

“Let me get the rib combo and the brisket combo. One with coleslaw and mashed potatoes. The other with mac and cheese and brussel sprouts. Oh! Let me add a one pulled pork sandwich and one pulled chicken sandwich, both with potato wedges. I’m ordering for four.” Hannah laughs a bit. 

“Totally cool. You wouldn’t imagine some of the orders we get from food bloggers. Your total is $74.35 and you can pay with cash or card.” Hannah tapped her card on the scanner. 

“It’ll be about an half hour wait, if that's okay?” The cashier informed her but Hannah waved them off. 

“The best things are worth waiting for. Especially food.” Hannah and the cashier shared a laugh while she moved to the side. While waiting, she took a picture of the restaurant's wall where dozens of awards and memorabilia were hung up. The dancer's phone camera has been working overtime with all the pictures she’s taken.

While scrolling through the pics she took at the Dallas Arboretum Hannah noticed two guys walk in. They didn’t order but one of them locked eyes with her. The look in his eyes sent a small shiver down her spine. 

Hannah wasn’t crazy. She knew how it looked being a woman, alone at night. And that's why she kept her phone in her hand, shuffling closer to the security camera she saw on the wall. From the corner of her eye she could see them talking to each other but pointing in her direction. A part of her hoped they were nervous fans wanting autographs.

A text from Moxy took her attention off them. 

From Momo Unnie: Where R U??? To Momo Unnie: I’m getting bbq!! Suggestion from Czennie From Momo Unnie: HOW DARE!!! To Momo Unnie: You were asleep when I left From Momo Unnie: I could have been tempted by Dallas bbq To Momo Unnie: ….no you wouldn’t

The two members bickered back and forth, distracting Hannah from the sound of footsteps coming closer. 

“Hi Hannah.” A male voice said from way too close. Both of the boys were now crowded around her. The one to her left was blonde while his friend on the right had brunette hair.  Hannah smiled politely but it never reached her eyes. Something about the way they looked gave Hannah the creeps. She could feel their eyes trailing across her body. She put distance between them, disguising the movement by rocking back and forth. 

“Nice to meet you.” She lowered her head, bowing in greeting.

“We’ve been fans for a long time.” The blonde explained while inching closer. 

“Yeah and we’ve always wanted to meet you.” the brunette continued. The smaller of the three shivered, their voices felt slimy and unwelcome. Hannah made herself focus on their body language, cause the last thing she wanted was to piss off the two boys standing between herself and the exit. 

Hannah plastered on a smile, “Oh really! Thank you so much! One of the best parts of being an idol is interacting with fans. Especially ones we don’t get to see that often” Things got quiet after that. Hannah positions herself as far away from them as possible but they keep inching closer. Panic got her heart beat faster. There’s no way she could fight back against two boys who stood a head taller than her, 

But that doesn’t mean she wasn’t gonna try if it got to that. 

“You should hang out with us.” 

“Someone like you shouldn’t be alone. Especially not in a foreign city.” While the brunette got closer, the blonde reached over pushing a strand of hair behind her ear then trailing his finger down her neck to her shoulder. Tugging her shirt to reveal bare skin. Hannah closed her eyes, forcing her body to still. To not flinch away from a foreign touch. 

She flinched anyway when a new female voice took the boys' attention off of her. 

“Hannah!! Thank God! I’ve been looking all over for you.” A girl ran over to the trio. She was dressed in pajama pants with converse and hoodie. Her black hair was pulled into a hasty ponytail. She barged her way between the two boys and hugged the idol. The girl grabbed Hannah’s hand, pulling her away from the creepy boys and closer to the door. 

“Sorry I took so long, I went to the wrong restaurant. Have you been waiting?” The girl gave a subtle nod, hoping the idol got her message.

Some of the panic faded, knowing this kind stranger was trying to help her. Hannah pulled her into another quick embrace, “I didn’t wait long. I must have sent you the wrong location. I….got caught up with these two fans.” Hannah gestured to the boys standing together dumbfounded. 

The newcomer turned to them and bowed in apology, “Sorry for interrupting. You don’t get much hang out time with friends who turned into superstars.” 

“Oh, you weren’t interrupting and I am hardly a superstar!!” Hannah grabbed the hand of her new ‘friend’, grounding herself. 

“Sorry for barging in. Maybe I could take a photo for you guys. As an apology for stealing Hannah away?” Both boys shook their heads and quickly fled the restaurant. Before either could speak the cashier called out Hannah's name. Both girls couldn’t hold eye contact with the other person. They just awkwardly stood there waiting for someone to make a move. Which turned out to be Hannah. The dancer grabbed her food and expected her ‘friend’ to be gone. But there she was waiting at one of the restaurant's tables, trying and failing to look occupied. Hannah and the girls' eyes locked. They both gave a crooked smile. 

The idol made her way over claiming the seat across from the girl. Taking a moment to breathe now that immediate danger was behind them. Hannah took out her phone, texting her manager to pick her up. I think that's enough excitement for one day, she thought. Hannah took in her helper across from the table who was trying, and once again failing, to not look at the idol in awe. The singer discreetly observed the fan while sending the restaurant’s address to her manager. Hannah noticed the cinnamaroll photocard holder with a pc of her face protected inside. 

“I must have a new perfume on because I keep attracting fans tonight.” The girl's hands flew to the holder in an effort to cover it up. Panicked eyes met hers. 

The girl shook her head frantically, “I promise I’m not like those guys back there! I saw you cornered and I barely registered you were…..the Hannah of NCT AG. I just wanted to help.” Her words trailed off at the end, her cheeks turned red in embarrassment. Hannah couldn't hold back a laugh. 

“You don’t have to be embarrassed. Honestly I don’t meet many people who are fans of myself. What’s your name?” 

The girl's blush spread covering her ears, “I’m E-Emerald. Emmy for short. I’ve been a fan for a while now. Especially of you. WayV’s my favorite subunit and you kill every performance I’ve seen.” She could tell Emerald wanted to say more but was holding back. 

It felt good. Seeing someone genuinely happy to meet her. Performing in Korea helped her develop a thick skin. It hurts when you can tell nobodies there for you. But being on this tour reminded Hannah that she was loved. Emerald was living, breathing proof. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Emerald. And I have to thank you for the save back there. Is there anything I can do? Buy you food or something to drink.” The girl shook her head again. 

“It’s what any decent person would do for another. I can’t accept thanks for basic human kindness.” Hannah tried to offer more things but every time Emerald refused. Seeing she was fighting a losing battle, Hannah moved to getting to know the fan in front of her. She asked about her life in Dallas, what her hobbies were, ect. With every question Emmy opened up more. She even asked questions of her own.  Mainly about Hannah’s management of two groups with equally hectic schedules. 

“My best friend, who wasn’t a K-pop fan, changed her mind about NCT after listening to Basically Over You.” Emerald gushed to the idol. 

“You got your friend into NCT because of us?? That’s amazing!! I guess I’ll see you both tomorrow then?” Hannah was mistaken as she watched the other girl's face fall. 

Emerald shook her head, “We couldn’t get tickets. I heard the rumors about an AG tour but nobody could confirm. So I saved up for Dream’s concert. Now that my friend is into NCT we went to look for tickets but it was sold out.” Emerald perked up a bit, “It’s okay. My friend and I are planning a sleep and stalk night. We’re gonna be all over the official hashtag for videos. One of the good things about international fans, everyone posts on their socials.” The conversation got cut off by a honking horn. Outside, Hannah could see two of her managers in the front seats. . 

Knowing her time with her bias was over, Emerald sighed. But Hannah couldn’t just leave her fan with nothing. 

“Could you wait here for a moment?” Hannah grabbed her food and  jogged outside to the van. She climbed into the back seat rummaging around for something.

“Looking for something Hannah-ssi?” 

“Yeah…Where are those extra tickets we keep?” One of the managers opened the glove box, pulling the tickets out. 

“Do you need them for some….thing” He couldn’t even finish his sentence before Hannah snatched the tickets and jogged back inside. Emerald had grabbed her purse when Hannah stopped in front of her. 

“I know you told me that I couldn’t do anything for you but actually….I can.” Hannah watched amused while Emerald stared at the tickets dumbfounded. Her mouth fell open and her eyes wide. They flicked between Hannah and the tickets, unsure of what to do. 

“I hope you know I refuse to take these back to the car. I guess you’ll just have to take them.” Hannah placed the tickets in Emerald's hand with a smile. “Thank you again for your help back there. Enjoy the concert tomorrow! I’ll be looking for you both.” Hannah waved, jogging back to her van and hopping in. Emerald stood in disbelief, eyes moving between the tickets and the door her bias just walked through.

She just got tickets for AG’s concert handed to her……

And she didn’t even say thank you.

The familiar ringtone brought Emerald back to earth. She fumbled around getting her hand on her phone and swiping to answer. 

“Emmy!?!? Where are you? I was at your front door but you didn’t answer. Are you home? We have less than 36 hours to mentally prepare ourselves for the biggest fomo experience of our lives.” Emerald friend, Peri said to a mostly unresponsive Emerald. 

“Emmy? You good?” Peri asked.

“Peri…..Change of plans.” 

“To what?! There is NO WAY I’m missing—”  “YOU'RE NOT MISSING ANYTHING BECAUSE WE'RE GOING!!!!” Emerald interrupted before Peri could get her rant started. It was silent on both ends of the line. Emerald waited for Peri's reaction while her best friend took in what she said.

“We’re going where now?” 

Emerald envisioned the look on her friend's face as she said, “We’re going to see AG. In concert. Live. In Person. A Day from now. We’re going, Riri!””

“Did you just say we're going to the concert?” 

“I have so much to tell you.” Emerald said, smiling in glee.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Summary if you chose to skip: Hannah while waiting in the restaurant is cornered by two male fans who block her from the exit. One begins to touch her without her permission before they are interrupted by another fan, this time female, who sees the interaction, notices that Hannah isn't comfortable and saves Hannah.

[theboywithburninghands]

Hey all. Last chapter of the latest Bunnyrabbitdoll arc... thing. Longest thing I've written by far. Light on the fluff, heavy on the horror and dark comedy. Hope you enjoy. T/W: Gore, body horror, guns, arachnophobia The Dollhouse Final Part: Kill All Monsters

Caine and Bubble are relaxing on a digital beach, both of them sporting sunglasses and matching towels. Caine is still in his full ringmaster outfit and Bubble can’t actually lay down, so he hovers an inch or two above his towel. Layla sits on their picnic basket, playing some beach music. Caine sips from an empty coconut shell through a crazy straw. Caine: BOY, THIS IS THE LIFE, ISN’T IT BUBBLE?

Bubble: I feel like a million deer, Caine! *eats a seashell*

Caine: A GUY COULD GET USED TO A LITTLE R&R! Bubble: Reading and writing? Caine: OH HO HO NO, YOU ABSOLUTE SIMPLETON! REST AND RELAXATION! IT’S HARD TO COME BY RUNNING A DIGITAL CIRCUS EVERY DAY FOR [error: not found: value] YEARS! THAT’S WHY I LET SOME OF MY SELF-REGULATING AI RUN ADVENTURES NOW AND THEN!

Bubble: You mean like me? 

Caine: RIGHT! WE’RE ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY HERE, AND FAMILIES WORK TOGETHER! AND RELAX TOGETHER! 

Bubble looked around. They were the only ones on the beach for miles. 

Bubble: Hmm… Do you think the performers are okay?

Caine: I’D BET YOU A COMBO MEAL AT SPUDSY’S THAT THEY’RE HAVING THE TIME OF THEIR NON-ABSTRACTED LIVES RIGHT NOW! 

Bubble: Good enough for me, boss! *he pulls a sun mirror from Hammerspace and flips it open, setting it in front of him* Ahhhhhhhhhh…

Caine: WORKING ON YOUR TAN THERE, BUBBLE?

Bubble: Heating myself up! It’s fun to feel myself boil!

Caine: *laughs* Oh, you crack me up. 

—

Back in Crazy Caine’s House of Tricks, Pomni paced back and forth, tapping the hatchet she found on her palm. Ragatha sat in the corner, near Jax, but with enough distance between them so his stench isn’t unbearable. Jax himself drifts in and out of consciousness, delirious.

Jax: Hey… Hey Pompom. Pompoooom. 

Pomni: *sighs* What?

Jax: Wh-What is the scariest tree in the forest..?

Pomni: What? What kind of question-

Jax: Bam-BOO! *makes jazz hands and laughs so hard he coughs, followed by a groan of pain*

Pomni rolled her eyes and continued to pace. Ragatha gave a small, polite laugh at Jax’s terrible joke. Pomni: Where are the others..? They have to be in their own puzzle rooms, right? 

Ragatha: All three of us got one. Well, you skipped yours. Maybe we should try doing what you did and climb up the slide?

Jax: My foot hurts…

Ragatha: I know Jax, we’ll get it fixed soon, okay hun?

Pomni: We can’t. The doors locked behind us… *she jiggles the handle of the door Jax fled through to demonstrate*

Ragatha: You tried chopping it down with your ax?

Jax: Heeeere’s POMNI! *laughs himself into coughing again*

Pomni: I could try… but these seem pretty sturdy. I might break it. 

Ragatha: It’s worth a shot. Beats sitting in the dark and twiddling our thumbs. 

Pomni: I guess… Should I just… pick one?

Jax: Not my door… It’s still in there. 

Ragatha: Why don’t you do mine? You already killed that monster… 

Pomni: Okay. Pomni stood in front of Ragatha’s door, taking a deep breath and flexing her arms. She then readied her hatchet. 

Pomni: …Here we go. Pomni took a mighty swing at the door. With a brittle crunch, the wooden handle broke off, leaving the hatchet-head buried a few inches into the door for a moment before falling out and clanging to the floor. Jax burst into laughter for a third time. 

Ragatha: Oh no…

Pomni looked at the broken handle for a moment before balling her fists and hurling it against the wall, where it ricocheted and skittered across the floor. 

Ragatha: Pomni, I’m sorry. That was a terrible idea… 

Pomni: No-! No, it really wasn’t. It was a good idea, it just… didn’t work. 

Ragatha covered her face, Pomni ceasing her pacing and going over to her.

Pomni: Ragatha, I’m sorry, it really was a good idea, I didn’t mean to… 

Ragatha: No, it’s okay. It’s okay, I just… It’s horrible here, yeah, but it’s never this horrible… something has to be wrong… 

Pomni: What do you mean?

Ragatha: I mean… you saw what was after me… you saw what that monster did to Jax-

Jax appeared to be entertaining himself by seeing how many fingers he could stick through the wound in his foot. 

Ragatha: It’s not supposed to be like this… it’s bad but it’s not… not… 

Pomni: Not?

Ragatha: Not Rated M…

Pomni: Who cares? We’re alive. And when we get out of this place we can tell Caine exactly how we feel…

Ragatha: …I guess I’ve just gotten used to a specific kind of horror… 

Pomni hugged the ragdoll, who gratefully squeezed her back. It was a lot easier to hug her girlfriend with so many other anxieties tuning out her haphephobia. 

Pomni: We’ll get out of here. It’s just another stupid adventure, right? 

Jax: Hey… where’s my hug?

Pomni: You’ll get one after you’ve had a bath.

Jax: I won’t. You just think I’m ugly…

Pomni: No, I think you stink. Big difference.

Jax: …My foot really hurts. 

One of the doors flew open with a crash and Zooble stumbled out of it, clutching what appeared to be a double-barreled shotgun. 

Zooble: I SAID GET BACK, YOU UGLY SON OF A B!#€#! GET AWAY FROM ME!

Zooble snapped their shotgun closed just as a clawed, skinless humanoid hand the size of a car wrapped its fingers around the doorframe. A head, skin so tight around its face it more resembled a skull, crammed its way into the doorframe. It had eyes like pools of fog and a long, serpentine tongue, grinning hatefully

Zooble: Yeah. Keep smiling. 

Zooble aimed their gun at the creature and fired. The kickback from the weapon sent their torso and arms flying, their head twirling about in the air before landing on the floor and their legs blindly stumbling about. Luckily, they were dead-on with their shot and hit the ghoul creature square in the forehead, fog gushing out of the wound as it clamped its bony hand over it. Zooble’s arms and torso, sitting several feet away from their head, aimed the shotgun once again, using their claw as a mount, and fired. The kickback from this blast blew Zooble’s right arm off their body, but the buckshot found its mark in the ghoul’s jaw, severing it neatly from the rest of the skull, so that it swung back and forth like the pendulum of a clock. It shrieked and gushed a torrent of fog from its maw that appeared to freeze the ground below it, shoving its way back into the doorway, the door slamming shut and locking behind it. 

Zooble: F@&$in’ @$$#@!€… their right arm crawls its way back to their body, abandoning the empty gun on the floor. The right arm reaches their torso and their left reattaches it. Then, Zooble’s headless and legless torso pushes itself up so it balances on its hand and claw and ambles its way to their head. They put their head back on and rest a moment.

Jax: *points* Gun.

Zooble twisted their head around before relaxing at the sight of their fellow performers. 

Zooble: Sweet J£$&$, it’s just you guys… gimme a second. 

Zooble grabbed their wandering legs and hoisted themselves up onto them, twitching each foot to ensure proper connection before taking a few careful steps towards Pomni and the others. They stopped, cringing and covering where their nose might have been with their claw.

Zooble: God, it stinks in here… 

Pomni: Sorry. It’s Jax. His monster pretty much had him in Its mouth… 

Zooble: Ugh… *keeping their claw up* So… you three made it out. And you all ran into monsters too? 

Pomni: I sort of skipped mine by climbing back up the slide and forcing the trapdoor open… I had a weapon too, but it just broke. *she picks up the head of the hatchet*

Zooble: Really? D@##, that gun only had two shells. I looked all over that stupid lodge for supplies… 

Jax: Hodgepodge in a lodge… hee hee.

Zooble: What’s with him?

Ragatha: He got bitten by his monster too. I think it might have had something on Its teeth, ‘cause he’s been acting like that for a while. 

Jax: *watching his own hand move* My hands make after-hands.

Pomni: Are you alright though, Zooble? Ragatha was just telling me-

Zooble: Oh yeah, dandy. Peachy keen. Nothing like nearly getting frozen by a giant ice wraith to put a little skip in your step.

Ragatha: You were better than I was. Pomni had to kill my monster for me.

Zooble: …Pomni? Really?

Pomni: You don’t need to sound so shocked. 

Zooble: I mean, no offense, newbie, but you don’t give off “killer” energy. 

Jax: It’s because she loves her! 

Pomni blushed hot pink and Ragatha rather brusquely cleared her throat.

Ragatha: He’s uh, not in his right mind. I just got lucky that Pomni stumbled into my escape room… 

Zooble: So that leaves Gangle and Kinger unaccounted for. 

Ragatha: Right… 

Pomni: They have to be inside one of the doors we haven’t used yet. And since they can really hurt us, they might be in big trouble.

Zooble: So what do we do? 

Pomni: Well, there’s seven doors. One for each of us, and one that must lead out of here, or deeper into this place, God forbid…

Jax: That one. It’s different…

Jax pointed to a door on the opposite wall from where he was sitting. It was the only door on that wall, and it appeared to have three small, colored lights on it, no brighter than those on a Christmas tree. Pomni, Ragatha and Zooble all approached the door. There were six lightbulbs, two vertical rows of three, on a small panel. A fuschia, periwinkle and red light were illuminated, while the other three were dark. A small bronze plaque above the lights was barely readable in the soft red-violet glow. 

Pomni: “Should you give in to your pain,

In this house, you will remain.

‘Tis only after fear is slain

That you can go home again.”

Zooble pointed to each of the illuminated lights. 

Zooble: Pink for me, purple for Jax, red for Ragatha. 

Ragatha: So the other three are Kinger, Gangle-

Pomni: And me. I have to do mine…

Ragatha: But you skipped it… How are you going to get back in there, all the doors are locked… 

Pomni: Let’s worry about that in a bit. Gangle and Kinger haven’t beaten their rooms yet.

Ragatha: But the doors are locked.

Pomni: Doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try. 

Pomni picked up the empty shotgun and the blade of the broken hatchet. 

Pomni: See if any of the doors open for you. If they don’t, and they probably won’t, try to smash the handles off with the butt of this. *she hands Ragatha the gun* I don’t see a deadbolt, so it must just be a lock on the handle…

Zooble: What if you’re wrong? What if we get stuck in here? 

Pomni: Then I’m wrong, and we’re stuck. But we tried.

Pomni jiggled the handle on one of the doors they hadn’t tried yet. To no one’s surprise, it was locked, so she took the axehead and began to smash it down on the handle. Ragatha set to work on another one of the doors, testing the handle and then starting the process of bashing it off with the shotgun. Jax covered his ears at the sudden noise. 

What felt like ages of continuous bashing finally ended when Ragatha and Zooble succeeded in knocking off their door’s handle, with it clanging to the floor in several bent and twisted pieces. Ragatha pulled on the hole where the handle once was and the door opened with a crunch. 

Ragatha: Yes!

Zooble: I’ll be d@##ed. 

Pomni: Oh, good work guys! *puts down the axehead, panting with exertion* Okay, let’s go in and help…

Ragatha: Wait, what about Jax- oh.

Jax snorted in his sleep, kicking his uninjured foot and slumping a little further down the wall.

Pomni: Looks like he’ll be okay for a little while. *she smiles* I’m glad he could get at least a little rest… 

Zooble: You know, this is pretty much what he acts like even when he isn’t tripping on monster venom… 

The three of them chortled, but it died down quickly. They had work to do. Ragatha opened the door and they slipped inside, Zooble carrying the empty gun just in case.

They exited into what appeared to be a forest, the door attached to a brick wall, the only man made structure in the vicinity. It slammed shut behind them. The ivy-snared trees stretched high out of view, the suffocating canopy of leaves blocking just about all natural light. The grass was overgrown and clumpy, so tall that Pomni had to push it out of the way to keep it from getting in her mouth. Crickets and other insects chirred, and the entire area had the dense smell of wet moss. 

Zooble: Hmm. *they hold up their hand and claw, calling out* HEY GANGLE?! KINGER?! YOU OUT THERE?

In the distance, there was another shout. Too high pitched and delicate to be the echo of Zooble’s voice. 

Ragatha: Gangle! 

The three of them took off into the woods. Pomni could hardly see an inch in front of her due to the tall, knotted grass, and her foot soon snagged on a root and she fell forward.

Pomni: OOF! 

The jester swore to herself and began to pick herself up off the ground, only to squeak when a pair of hands wrapped about her midsection and hoisted her into the air. She was seated down on a pair of plush shoulders, a tangle of red curls and a purple bow between her legs.

Ragatha: *smiling up at her* Watch your head, okay? 

Ragatha continued running, Pomni leaning onto her head for support. The jester felt her face warm up despite the cool air rushing by her cheeks. This was much better… She had no idea Ragatha was that strong.

The group continued onward, following Gangle’s cries, until they came onto a clearing between two mighty trees. Strung between them was a spider web, woven with thick yet gossamer threads to be about the size of a California king bed. In the middle hung Gangle, her body a mess of knots and her lips quavering. She gasped upon seeing the three of them.

Gangle: Guys! You made it… please get me down, I don’t know when she’s coming back…

Zooble: Okay, hold still. Pomni, you’re the tallest right now, break the threads. 

Zooble handed Pomni the gun, and she stuck the barrels of it up towards one of the threads holding Gangle in place.

Gangle: Th-That thing isn’t loaded is it?!

Ragatha: Gangle, we wouldn’t do that to you- ow my neck.

Pomni: Sorry Ragatha… 

The canopy above them whispered ever so slightly, a few dead leaves drifting down upon them. Gangle looked up as best she could and gasped.

Gangle: She’s coming, please get me down, guys, please! 

Pomni hit one of the silk threads with the barrel of the gun, and it stuck fast. Pomni yanked on the stock of the weapon, but the threads stretched taut like bungee cords. A 12-foot long spindly black leg emerged from the treeline above them with slow, surgical precision, testing its grip on one of the parallel tree trunks before settling it down. 

Zooble: That’s a big-@$$ spider… 

Pushing through the leaves and branches emerged an arachnid, jet black and the size of a rhinoceros. A cluster of eight, milky white fish egg eyes sat on her almost disproportionately small head. Her pincers clicked together greedily as she climbed on eight light and nimble feet down to the web.

Gangle: Help me! Help me, please, help me! 

Ragatha: Pomni, get the gun unstuck!

Pomni: I’m really trying! It’s like steel wire!

Pomni was on her feet by this point, balancing on Ragatha’s shoulders and pulling on the shotgun as hard as she could. Her gloves slipped and she was sent flying backwards off of Ragatha’s shoulders, who had to rapidly spin her arms for balance. The shotgun remained stuck to the web, the spider advancing past it towards Gangle, frothy drool dribbling onto her mask. 

Gangle: NO! GO AWAY! 

Ragatha: Hold on Gangle! I’m coming! 

Ragatha, using her height to her advantage, crouched and jumped up, grabbing onto the shotgun with one hand. Her legs pinwheeled in the air. The enormous spider was jostled about as she prepared to sink her fangs into Gangle, stumbling and turning her ghostly eyes towards Ragatha. 

Pomni: *just now climbing to her feet# Ragatha wait, don’t get stuck! 

Ragatha: I’m not gonna get stuck, I-

The rag doll lifted up her other arm to grasp the shotgun, pulling the trigger by mistake. Instead of the expected click of the hammer striking an empty chamber, there was a deafening bang and a muzzle flash the size of a manhole cover. The gun fired, catapulting Ragatha back onto the grass and sending buckshot directly into the spider’s face, breaking a few threads of her web.

The arachnid’s head burst like a rotten melon, chunky, bright white slurry pouring from the stump that was left behind. Her legs twitched a few times before she tumbled off and hit the overgrown forest floor, her legs curling up. Stone dead.

Gangle: YOU SAID IT WASN’T LOADED!

Zooble: IT WASN’T LOADED! 

Gangle: *practically sobbing# YOU ALMOST SHOT ME!!!

Zooble: IT. WASN’T. LOADED! It’s a double-barreled shotgun! What, did another shell just APPEAR in the barrel?!

Pomni snapped the gun open after a few tries as Ragatha worked on getting Gangle down from the web. A spent shell casing, smoking hot, dropped onto the grass, along with a live one. 

Pomni: I guess it did just appear in the barrel… *puts the live round back into the gun and snaps it closed*

The gunshot had ripped through a few of the threads in the spider’s web, making it much easier to pull Gangle free now that a lot of the tautness was gone. Ragatha only had to reach up on her tiptoes to grab Gangle by one of her ribbons and yank her free. The pile of ribbons fell into Ragatha’s arms and promptly burst into tears, full-on spouts of water erupting from the eyeholes of her mask.

Zooble: Ah… Gangle, I’m sorry, we really didn’t know it was loaded…

Ragatha: Zooble used both shots on their own monster, we never reloaded it… it must replenish ammo on its own…

Gangle sniffled and sobbed a few more times before managing to calm herself down enough to speak. 

Gangle: I-I believe you… I was just… it was so scary… I was stuck up there for ages waiting for her to come back, I screamed and I screamed for help and I thought it was never gonna come… 

Pomni: …All of us are scared, Gangle. But once we find Kinger and I complete my challenge, it’ll be over.

Gangle: *wet sniffle* Challenge..?

Pomni: Yeah. All of us completed a puzzle room like this… well, I actually sort of skipped mine. Long story. Let’s just go back to the nexus…

Zooble: The what?

Pomni: The room with all the doors. It’s called a nexus I think. 

Ragatha: Very Metroidvania of you, Pomni. *she smiles, then looks down at Gangle, still a pile in her arms# Can you walk, Gangle?

Gangle: Um… I don’t know… 

Ragatha: Don’t sweat it. I’ll carry you to the nexus. You’re pretty light.

Gangle: …Thank you. 

The four of them walked back to the door. The chilly air and ambience of the forest was nearly soothing on the group’s inflamed nerves. Pomni pushed her way through the tall grass; it was manageable when she didn’t need to run full tilt, but a part of her wished she was back on Ragatha’s shoulders. 

Zooble: Let’s hope Jax hasn’t wandered off. 

Gangle: Jax is with you guys..? Is he okay?

Ragatha: He’s- Well… he’s hurt, but okay. He got bitten by his monster and we think it may have been venomous or something, because he’s acting really loopy.

Zooble: It’s kind of entertaining.

They reached the solitary brick wall. Zooble reached out to open the door, but someone pulled it open from the other side.

Zooble: Kinger..!

The eldest member of the group stood on the other side of the door, trembling more than usual. In his left hand he held a meat cleaver, stained with something blue. Flecks of the same blue substance stained his face, gloves and robe. 

Kinger: Glad to know you…

The four of them cautiously slipped by Kinger back into the Nexus. They were soon hit by the putrid smell of rotten corn and winced. Jax was exactly where they left him, sleeping like a rock. 

Gangle: It smells really bad in here…

Pomni: I know, it’s Jax… he got it probably the worst out of all of us. *she leans the shotgun against the wall# B-But what happened to you, Kinger? You killed your monster?

Kinger: Monster..? 

Pomni: Uh, yeah, in your escape room…?

Kinger: I… I remember books… 

Ragatha: Books? *she sets Gangle down*

Kinger: Books and- and black candles- and cheesecake… *puts his hands to the side of his head*

Zooble: Okay, okay Kinger. Sounds like you had a rough go of things… Just gonna… 

Zooble took the cleaver from Kinger’s hand with no resistance. 

Kinger: I need my pillows…

Ragatha: We’re going to get you your pillows as soon as we get out of here, okay? You saved us a whole lot of time by finishing your puzzle on your own.

Gangle: Hey…

Ragatha: No, I didn’t mean it lik-

Pomni tuned out the conversation to stare at one of the doors. It seemed to be drawing her towards it… almost whispering to her. 

Pomni: *Points to it* That’s my door. It was made for me.

Everyone stopped and looked at the door with Pomni. Jax blearily opened his eyes, curiously tilting his head at what everyone was looking at. 

Ragatha: Well… with all six of us, it shouldn’t be that hard to finish, right?

Zooble: More like five, since Jax is… indisposed.

Jax: Who are you calling in this clothes?! These are MY clothes!

Pomni went and picked up the shotgun, double checking the shells. One spent, one live. One shot. She sighed and snapped it closed. 

Pomni: Let’s get this over with… Zooble, you can probably use the cleaver to- HUUUUUAAAAAAHHHHH!

Pomni felt herself yanked backwards with enough force to give her whiplash. She rocketed towards her door, which swung itself open to swallow her up.

Ragatha: POMNI-!

Even if Ragatha had perfect timing, she couldn’t have caught up to her girlfriend in time. By the time she had taken three steps, the jester was across the threshold and the door slammed shut with a teeth-chattering bang, locking itself. 

——

Pomni awoke in darkness. Her head swam, and her upset equilibrium couldn’t tell if she was sitting up or hanging upside down. She felt around in the dark, her gloved hand grasping the shotgun laying beside her. So she was right side up, good start.

There was a clunk somewhere and she was blinded, covering her eyes with the back of her hand. A tinny buzz signaled that she was under some lights. She felt her pupils constrict painfully as she squinted at her surroundings. 

It was an office. An almost perfect imitation of symmetrical, focus-grouped blandness. The cheap carpet beneath her was an inoffensive green, the walls sterile, corporate white, and the drop ceiling above her lit with fluorescent, brain-itching lights. A few posters showing nonsensical cartoons sparsely decorated the walls. One had a man throwing a fish back into the lake he just caught it from with “Keep on The On Keeping On” overlaid over the sky in impact font, another showing an orange house cat looking up curiously at a T-Rex, with the quote “If at First You Don’t Succeed, Bite Off Your Tongue and Change Your Name to Xerxes” on the bottom, attributed to Buster Keaton.

There was a large table set up between the two rows of cubicles, empty bowls that may have contained chips or punch sitting on them, with a few cheap pink party hats and paper plates littering the floor. It wasn’t at all clear what the party was celebrating, the only clue being a lone greeting card laying on the table. Pomni brought along the shotgun and picked up the card. It was totally blank on the front apart from some words written in silver. 

Pomni: “To our new Employee.” *she flips it open* 

“The time for riddles has since passed,

For you are the very last.

We present to you a terror pure

That, by yourself, you must endure.”

One of the tiles on the drop ceiling was knocked loose, falling onto a desk and snapping in two. An arm emerged from the hole in the ceiling, a long, purple arm with a bright yellow glove on the end.

Pomni: Jax?

Another arm emerged from the ceiling, this one soft and plush, a hand with three fingers…

Voice: Pom… niiiiii…

Pomni: Oh my god…

A head emerged from the dark, or rather, two heads. Jax and Ragatha’s heads, squished together cheek-to-cheek and sloppily melted into one another like plastic. Their eyes were blank and staring, the middle eye fused together with Jax’s yellow sclera bleeding into Ragatha’s white, their mouth a single, grotesque combination of Jax’s yellow teeth and Ragatha’s sweet painted smile. Their entire body below the chest was a mass of squirming black flesh and multicolored eyes, exactly the same as Kaufmo’s was. Abstracted.

Creature: Pom…niiii….

It fell from the drop ceiling onto the floor, out of sight behind the cubicles. Pomni, her hands quaking, aimed at the cubicles with the shotgun, doing her best to look down the ironsights without dropping it. She only had one shot…

The creature rounded the corner slowly, dragging its combined weight on just its hands. The black abstracted goo stuck to the floor behind it and left a nauseating snail-trail. The creature mewled in agony.

Creature: Pom… ni…. It hurts… 

Pomni: …

The creature leapt forward and grabbed the barrel of the gun, pushing it out of the way and grabbing onto Pomni’s leg. A disgusting, earthworm-like tongue shot out of its mouth and wrapped around her leg as it whined piteously.

Creature: Pom… niiii… why didn’t you… save us… please… make it stop….

Pomni: Okay.

Pomni pressed the muzzle of the gun to the creature’s dual foreheads, and it barely had time to look confused before Pomni pulled the trigger and blasted off the top of its head. There was a squidgy explosion of black abstraction goo that rained down on the cheap green floors and into the food bowls. The amalgamated creature, the top of its head now a fine oily paste, slid to the ground off of Pomni’s leg. Pomni stepped back, looking up at the ceiling.

Pomni: …You wanted me to run, right? You wanted me to run away. I… I think I’m done with that. There’s no point in running, right? Because there’s no escape. Running only makes things worse, delays the inevitable. Well. Mission accomplished, I guess. You scared me. But I killed your little monster. So… I’d like to get back to my nightmare now.

She dropped the gun on the floor and opened the exit door, closing it behind her politely.

——

Back on the digital beach, Caine and Bubble were still relaxing. A rift opened up a few feet away and the six performers tumbled out onto the sand. 

Jax: Caine! Bubble! My guuuuuuuys- *makes finger guns at them as he flops onto his back, starting to make a sand angel*

Caine: GADZOOKS! YOU ALL MADE IT OUT OF THERE! CONGRATULATIONS ON DEFEATING THE FIRST EVER PROCEDURALLY GENERATED ADVENTURE!

Caine snapped his fingers and the six of them were immediately clean. The hole in Jax’s foot knit closed and he sat up, blinking.

Jax: What the- Wh… where am I? Oh, man, why do I smell so bad… *covers his mouth and where his nose would be#

Layla hopped with joy and went over to Kinger, who caught her in his hands and pet her.

Kinger: Layla! So good to see you…

Pomni: Hold on. Procedurally generated?

Caine: THAT’S RIGHT, POMNI! USING OUR CLASSIFIED DEFINITELY LEGAL TECHNOLOGY, MY NEW AI PROBED YOUR BRAINS TO-

Pomni: You… left us in that h€!!hole… didn’t even bother to check on us… nearly let us die… and you didn’t even make it yourself. You spent… ALL OF TODAY just sitting on a BEACH?! 

Caine: …………Well, everyone deserves a break now and then-

With a howl of Barbarian rage, Pomni grabbed the meat cleaver from Zooble’s claw and took a swing at Caine.

Caine: WOAH! HEY NOW, TAKE IT EASY-

Pomni: I’M GONNA STAB YOU TO DEATH AND PLAY IN YOUR BLOOD!

Caine: I DON’T HAVE ANY BLOOD- *ducks another swipe* HEY, WAIT-

Pomni continued to chase Caine around the beach with the knife, the ringmaster pitifully trying to calm the madwoman down. The performers watched the chaos with some gratification. Bubble slid them a bucket of seashells.

Bubble: You guys want one? 

Everyone: No.

Bubble: More for me! *he downs the entire bucket in one go*

Caine: WATCH THE COAT! WATCH THE COAT-

[feetoffire]

individual showjumping final! this course was gorgeous in all respects (especially love the wall that looks like the notre dame rose windows) (and the curled-up lizard topiary thing. love that guy) and also tricky as all hell. only three riders went double clear (bc the oxers are massive and the striding is so so technical).

Canada: Mario Deslauriers on Emerson. i love watching the jumpers move - they’re so forward. two sets of reins. nicely in time, but two rails down. 

Germany: Phillipp Weishaupt on Zineday. drop noseband. some gape between fences. one second over, one rail down. 

Argentina: Jose Maria (jr) Larocca on Finn Lente. started rough with a knocked rail, and the combinations really got them. one second over, five rails down. 

UK: Ben Maher on Dallas Vegas Batilly. mare! nose net. froth. i love watching this mare; she’s got so much scope and so much try. in time, one rail. Just caught the oxer in the double.  

USA: Laura Kraut on Baloutinue. came in nice and quiet, and Baloutinue seems fairly settled. i think she’s my favorite rider in the field. fighting a little in the turns. he tries so hard to keeps his legs out of the way over the last fence but it doesn’t quite work. in time, one rail. 

Austria: Max Kuehner on Elektric Blue P. drop noseband, froth. gape. also knocks the last fence - i think the riders are going to have to take that extra second to come at it perfectly straight. one rail, in time. 

France: Simon Delestre on I Amelusina R 51. rough start, knocks the first fence. gape. coming in close to the red flag on most of these fences. god that’s so much gape. in time, two rails. 

Germany: Christian Kukuk on Checker 47. i do love watching the jumpers move but so many of them are hyperflexed before the round starts and that i could do without. lots of gape -  there are so many stride adjustments in this course. rattles a rail on the double combination, but it stays. double clear!

Belgium: Gregory Wathelet on Bond Jamesbond de Hay. still love this name. hackamore! couldn’t quite clear the water. very fast round. two rails. 

Netherlands: Maikel van der Vlueten on Beauville Z. little awkward over the double combination - think it was a long spot. making full use of the space. double clear. 

UAE: Omar Abdul Aziz al Marzooqi on Enjoy de la Mure. little bit of froth. looked like a touch of sass in one of the lead changes (we've all ridden that). clever striding. in time, two rails. lots of pets for Enjoy as they leave. 

Japan: Takashi Hasse Shibayama on Karamell M&M. rolls the first rail out of its cups, knocks fence two and both in the double combo. elects (smartly) to retire. 

Saudi Arabia: Ramzy al Duhami on Untouchable 32. mare! gape - i can see her tongue in the close-ups. this mare is scopey as all hell - only knocks the oxer in the first double combination. in time, one rail. 

Mexico: Andres Azcarraga on Contrendros 2. having trouble over the oxers. takes the turn to the water fast and just slides to a stop; Azcarraga comes off. 

Brazil: Rodrigo Pessoa on Major Tom. Major Tom has braids in. starts a little under speed/behind the leg. knocks two rails, elects to retire.

USA: Karl Cook on Caracole de la Roque. mare! one of the hackamore girlies (and her noseband is fuzzy!). still don’t like her topline. they’re fighting about speed - Caracole has Opinions. the turn to the card suite jumps is awkward and the combination doesn’t go well. in time, two rails. 

Belgium: Gilles Tomas on Ermitage Kalone. nose net. nice quiet feeling round. in time, two rails down. 

Norway: Victoria Gulliksen on Mistral van de Vogelzang. having a Moment before the round starts. double combination literally trips them up - thought they were both going to fall trying to get over the oxer in the double combination. half a second over, two rails down. 

Brazil: Stephan de Frietas Barcha on Primavera. mare! two sets of reins. fast around the turn to the water, some speed discussions in the ensuing fences. scrapes her way through the triple combination and the card suite fences, but she makes it! really using that fifth leg. if you click with a mare, she will do anything for you. in time, one rail. 

UK: Scott Brash on Jefferson. his stripe and snip are so cool. drop noseband. knocks the oxer in the double combination. in time, one rail down. 

Saudi Arabia: Abdulrahman Alrajhi on Ventago. red ribbon. lots of stride adjustments. tt’s a bit of a slog for them today and you can feel it. uses all of his space to the card suite jumps. one second over, one rail down. 

Netherlands: Kim Emmen on Imagine. two sets of reins. first rail comes down. he’s tired - this is his fourth round this week. in time, three rails down. 

Italy: Emanuele Camilli on Odense Odeveld. hackamore? i think? shadow roll. first rail down. handles the double combination nicely. in time, three rails. 

Sweden: Henrik von Eckermann on King Edward. nose net. makes it through the water and following line by sheer force of will only for King Edward to make a wrong turn. little bit of discussion about it, then Eckermann comes off and takes the bridle with him. insists on leading King Edward back himself (we love to see it). Edward is still worked up - Eckermann is using the elbow in the neck trick to make space. yeah been there (regularly).

Switzerland: Steve Guerdat on Dynamix de Belheme. mare! gape. she is bound and determined to make this course her bitch. good for her! double clear. 

Switzerland: Martin Fuchs on Leone Jei. drop noseband. looked like Fuchs almost came off in the double combination and he lost a stirrup. almost swings left (same as King Edward) but recovers. in time, one rail down. out of the medals, but that was some impressive riding. 

Netherlands: Harrie Smolders on Uricas V/D Kattenvennen. froth. some gape. he’s trying but he’s tired. two time penalties, one rail. 

Ireland: Daniel Coyle on Legacy. mare! love her. she’s ready to get it done. froth. stretching down in the turn to the card suite fences. i think the striding gets fucked up, they knock the next four fences (card suite combination and the two after it). Coyle elects to retire. 

Ireland: Shane Sweetnam on James Kann Cruz. converter reins. knocks the oxer in the double combination, runs into trouble in the triple. in time, three rails down. 

France: Julien Epaillard on Dubai du Cedre. mare! our other hackamore girlie 🎉 her blaze is fantastic. arguing about speed.sShe's scopey as hell and putting everything in. not quite steady enough to the second card suite fence. in time, one rail.

[darkartistyt]

lore time :] (the crossover arc)

Inspired by @/citrus-soda's au, this au (name pending) started out as just a combo between two ideas I had: what if the Bracelet of Tiamat had extra powers, and what if Katrielle and Raphael interacted? Of course, because I'm me, things got out of hand quick, and now there's a whole story and stuff

I also decided it was going to be one of my pl harpy aus specifically because I didn't know how else to get the ball rolling with the bracelet nonsense. All you really need to know about the harpy aus is that at one point in the main one, Luke has a vision (he's a seer) of some distant-ish future, and one person in his vision was somehow able to look back through it, which shouldn't be possible with the way visions work in this magic system. Magic fuckery ensues, creating a bunch of issues in alternate timelines which result in them diverging so much they become separate universes

In this world, the magic fuckery in question ends up creating a bunch of random space-time rifts for a minute, and Kat and Ernest just happen to fall through one that opened up on the floor in the midst of some investigation. So now they're in France in like. 2012 or whenever this game is set

Since it's post-game, I decided that how they meet Raphael is by crossing paths with him as he goes to return the Bracelet to the Louvre (as Phantom R, ofc). It senses their presence and the magic energy they carried --- it works kinda like how scents can be carried --- and activates, wrapping tightly around Phantom R's wrist so that he can't take it off

He dips after affirming that he's okay in order to avoid any potential questions of why he was trying to sneak into the museum, and he tries that night to pry it off his wrist, but to no avail. On top of that, he ends up crossing paths with them again while on a date with Marie and Charlie, and Kat recognizes him immediately and asks how he's doing

So now he has to explain not just the fact that he couldn't get it off but also how he met these two to his partners. He also makes Kat and Ernest swear not to ever reveal his identity as Phantom R, and they oblige on the condition that he help them with their predicament

The group plan to meet up at Raphael's apartment later that afternoon, which gives Kat and Ernest plenty of time to continue snooping around and seeing if they can find anything that will help them (spoiler: they don't)

When they all meet back up, Kat explains her and Ernest's situation. Marie and Raphael brief them on the admittedly weak powers they've seen from the Bracelet and Marie's violin before, but they all agree that there may be more that they have yet to unlock, which could hopefully help the duo return home. They decide to try and strengthen those powers while also still searching for other methods of opening portals and whatnot in the meantime

Given how small Raphael's apartment is, Charlie agrees to take in the two, even though Ernest wanted to find a hotel or something so as to not burden him. He reluctantly agrees only because Kat argued that it would be a lot easier (and cheaper) to accept Charlie's offer versus go through the process of converting the money they had, especially when taking into account the fact that they were from the past, if not an alternate universe entirely. Charlie does have to explain their predicament to his father, but Inspector Vergier ends up being surprisingly willing to help

Over the next few days, Raphael unlocks stronger and stronger powers, from animal whispering and heightened senses to stuff like teleportation and the ability to breath fire like a dragon. Speaking of dragons, he begins to undergo a physical transformation over the last three days they're all together, which slowly turns him into some weird dragon-like creature. All the while, they're trying to figure out how the Bracelet's power works and trying to see if they can at some point re-open that portal that sent Kat and Ernest to their world

On the fifth day after their initial meeting, they decide to go back to the place the portal was and see if there's any remaining magic there, since at that point Raphael might be able to sense that stuff. They set out rather late into the night, and even though he's exhausted, he hides it and tries to see if he can sense anything, and he manages to pick up on something very, very faint

While they're trying to determine if anything can be done, the Bracelet suddenly starts to loosen itself from his wrist. Its eyes glow, then its body. It begins to straighten out, moving strangely organically. Then, it spirals up his arm and shoots directly into his mouth, nearly choking him

Everyone's like "WHAT THE FUCK?!" and rush to ask Raphael if he's okay, to which he says he's fine, but they can all tell he's lying. He feels dizzy, like he could faint at any moment, and his vision's starting to distort, as if the world around him was glitching out (Kat can kinda detect a distortion too, but not as strongly, meaning though a lot of the Bracelet's magic fuckery was internal, it was strong enough to spill out into the outside world too). Before he knows it, he passes out

Marie, being the closest to him physically, is the first to check and make sure he's not a) dead or b) feverish, both of which thankfully end up being false. So she carries him home, the other three trailing behind her. They discuss what to do now and end up planning to meet up early in the morning, before Raphael wakes up, to at least make sure he's okay. Charlie also insists that if they need anything to call him --- that he'll have his phone on and nearby

The next morning is when the transformation is complete (which is what my first sketch was about). He has, in a way, fused with the Bracelet, and is now able to utilize its full power. It' starts raining as they're messing around's a rainy day, which works in their favor as there are not that many people out and about. They decide to head out and try to reopen the portal. But no matter how hard they try, and no matter what Raphael tries to do, it doesn't work. Eventually, Charlie asks if, instead of opening a portal, they try teleporting to their world instead, since the leftover magic is still there and Raphael is able to teleport, at least. They try that, and it works after a bit, but it leaves him completely drained

find themselves in some random part of town in the middle of the night. After a bit of wandering around, Kat and Ernest are finally able to recognize where they are, and they head towards the Detective Agency, letting the others crash there for the night. Given the fact that it was closer to midday in the Rhythm Thief world, no one (spare Raphael) is super tired, so they stay up for a bit trying to figure out how much time has elapsed in this world

They form a plan: Kat and Ernest will go to whoever they need to to show that they're safe and no longer missing, then Kat will go to Luke and/or Hershel (whoever she meets first) for help with the whole "Raphael's now a dragon" thing and in sending the quartet back home

The two set out kinda early the next morning, leaving the others to explain everything to Raphael (who fell asleep halfway through their conversation). They return with Hershel, who, after introductions and all that, agrees to help. Given that there isn't anything that Raphael wears all the time for her to enchant, he ends up manifesting a small armband which is enchanted to keep him in a continuous shapeshifting state and to help him control his powers better. Marie asks if they need to find where they arrived again, but he says there's no need and tells them he can transport them back home whenever they're ready

They give their thanks and say their goodbyes, and Hershel brings them back to their world, staying with them for a little while so that he can make sure his magic would be stable here (it is, so Raphael shouldn't have any issues with the armband in the future)

[literaticat]

If an author does an R&R for an editor/publisher that results in an offer, would they expect not to receive huge edit notes after that as presumably the R&R addressed most of the concerns? Also, why do some publishers ask for these first and others offer first?

In my experience, an editor will ask for an R&R for three main reasons:

A: They have some specific vision for the book that may not be the author's intention at all, and they want to make sure the author is down for that. So they are basically saying, look, this is potentially different from what you were thinking, I totally get that you might not want to do this, if not, no sweat, but should you decide you are on board with this, I'd love to see it again.

B: AND/OR, the author is new, has no track record, and they want to make sure that they are actually good at revising before handing them a contract and bag of money. (Not to say that all debut authors will get an R&R -- not at all! Just, sometimes, particularly if it is an A type scenario; if the editor is talking to an author with a TON of experience who very clearly knows how to revise a book and has a great track record, they might take the author's word for it and be fine with just a conversation, but an unknown author, the proof would be in the pudding, yanno?)

C: AND/OR, they have already shared with their editorial team or at least talked about the work with some of their colleagues, they want to bring this to acquisitions, but they know based on these conversations and their own lived experience that in-house support for the title and their ability to acquire it will be greater if certain changes are made. In other words, they really want to give this THE BEST POSSIBLE CHANCE to get through acquisitions, and they want to do whatever tweaks/changes are going to help their case so that they can get this book.

(It could be all three, mind you -- or any combo!)

However, editors don't usually write a huge editorial letter for an R&R, it's more likely to be kinda 'big picture thoughts' or a focus on one or two particular things. (Writing a real editorial letter requires actual deep thought and a lot of time -- they aren't likely to be spending that kind of time on something for an author they don't know and aren't working with!) So just because they are asking for changes before they can offer doesn't necessarily mean they are HUGE changes. They might in fact not be that big a deal at all. And it also might not involve revising THE ENTIRE BOOK.

Here's an example of an "all three" scenario: Let's say they know that for whatever reason, their boss is more likely to say yes if {X} -- and in this made-up example, {X} = "this book has a 12 year old protag rather than a 14 year old."

A - they'd float that past you/your agent - are you even OK with this? If not really, well, OK, fair enough. If yes, great, well, B, you're new, would you be open to revising the first few chapters with this in mind? So that C, they can show that sample to their boss at acq. and say, see how wonderful this 12 year old protagonist is, shouldn't we buy this?

If that worked and they did indeed make an offer / buy the book, you'd still get a regular editorial letter. In this case, it would include whatever else would have gone into an editorial letter + whatever thoughts they might have bearing in mind that the protag will now be 12. (Because of course, that change would potentially have ramifications throughout the book!)

As for the second question: why do some publishers ask for these first and others offer first? -- If they know that whatever they will be asking for will not be a big deal, they are confident you are able and willing to revise, and what you've given them is already polished enough to show the boss, they don't need to ask for an R&R.

[team-heavenly]

Chapter 26 - Part 4

I've counted it out and *sigh* we're gonna need five parts again. And I thought this chapter would be shorter than Sky Peak...

Part Un.

Part Deux.

Part Trois.

The real question is, will we be two for two on the bosses?

Hmmmmm. Okay, so we have...

An eldritch creature beyond our comprehension/perception

One smol Rhino Boi

The second of three (3) consecutive Starter Fire-Fighting middle evolutions

...

(It's very possible I used this meme already somewhere on the blog, but I don't feel like digging through over 100 posts to find out.)

By the way, this chamber was called, and I kid you not, Electric Trapdoor.

If Monferno had any moves, we didn't find out what they were. All it took was Mud Slap, Octazooka, and the Celebi Combo. (Garchomp missed, but that barely mattered.)

And then suddenly, Team Charm out of nowhere!

Team Heavenly, who beat Monferno within one turn without even blinking:

Don't, uh... Don't even worry about it! That's what Rescue/Explorer Teams do, right? 😅

Well, we can't say no to that. Besides, I have a feeling we'll need that back up real soon...

The group reaches the final waypoint. But first, we have a bag full of common goodies. Another quick trip home is in order.

Ah, what a beautiful sight to behold after all this time spent suffering without :')

I really want to include these next shots but I won't be able to fit them in here or Part 5, so click here for a brief detour.

Oh and, wonder of wonders, this Exclusive Item happened to be in Dodrio's offerings today! Considering that I recruited a handful of Unown (C, G, I, K, N, O, R, T, and U, to be precise), this is nifty!

Now, back to the Entertaining Slide, AKA the Aegis Cave Pit.

Hm, what's that I see in the distance? Let's tread closer and find out.

*wheezes*

YES, TREMBLE BEFORE THE MIGHT OF OUR GUARDIANS! SOME SEA STARS, SOME LAVA BABIES AND.... THE WALKING TERROR HIMSELF, THE POM POM BUNNY!!!

I love it. 10/10, no notes.

Oh, those were stone statues? I couldn't tell 😅

And in record time, we have a promise fulfilled!

Climatic battle highlights:

Octazooka took out one Magby immediately, and Chatter alone claimed one Staryu

Powder Snow took nearly everyone else out within two turns, though it froze Plusle and a lone Staryu

Oddly enough, Plusle knew Aura Sphere, just like its predecessor

The remaining Staryu knew Lava Plume

Charizard knew Triple Kick?!

And some good ol' fashioned Deja Vu (sorry about the angle here, I didn't think I was sharing this at the time of recording):

Don't worry, we got there eventually though.

Suddenly, a wild red tablet appears!

Teresa used Spirit Flow!

It's... super effective??

(Part 5.)

[myfaveisfuckable]

1: gnosia

2: welcome to nightvale

3: Dresden files

Rants!

Bellamy/Bartolomeo/Cavendish: they are just three silly little guys. is one of them a cannibal? maybe! it sure is his title but i’ve never seen him eat any one. they all argue like an old married couple. they bonded in the middle of a war.

Setsu/Yuriko/Raqio: if remraq was rare this combo is legendary +1. they are BOTH a crackship and a rarepair:

1) although they are all affected by the premise-induced timefuckery at some point, likely all come from extremely fucked up backgrounds (no way setsu isn't a child soldier + yuriko did extremely messed up neurological operations as a teen and is on the run from the shadow government AND has a bounty on her head + raqio is from a hypermeritocratic caste society where if you aren't smart enough you aren't considered a human being. every single one of them should get a 50% off therapy coupon) they never get a story cutscene together. diversity loss

2) in all my 1.5 years in this fandom i have met ONE (1) person who also shipped this. one. this isn't a shippy fandom in general tbh but i've seen more people draw a character hitting a boof than saying a peep about s/y/r

additional arguments:

3) it's nonbinary yuri (nb/f/nb) come ON there is nothing better than nonbinary poly yuri

4) i want to see them get into an argument

5) setsu can defo easily bench press the other two (please)

6) they look niceys together even though their designs are pretty different and not in the "intentional contrast" way

7) the aforementioned timefuckery makes this an uniquely delicious bond

8) if this gets in people will hear about this ship and these 3 deserve so much more :)

Cecil Gershwin Palmer/Carlos Ramirez: I have seen *one* crossover fanfic with this pairing and it is absolutely genius.

So, Welcome To Night Vale (WTNV) has a main canon pairing, darling Eldritch radio host Cecil and lovable scientist Carlos. For the longest time, Carlos didn't have a last name and backstory. Also, as a STEM girl, let me tell you, his 'science' doesn't make sense.

So the genius author decided: okay, let me just grab a random Carlos from a different medium and put him in there. Except it's not random, and works super well! Enter: Carlos Ramirez, from the Dresden Files, and urban fantasy novel. This Carlos is a wizard. Who now has to somehow pretend he's a scientist. While secretly battling the Eldritch horros lurking in Night Vale.

The two of them are super cute and happy together, and it just makes waaay too much sense, the worlds and characters mesh super well. I can never unsee it. There is literally No content besides that one fic. It is perfect.

[jimmy-carmine]

Moon's Haunted

Realised I could replay missions for the intro videos of my Guardian looking all cool in his jacket and armour combo

Having custom characters appear in cutscenes is such a fun little gaming experience, doubly so when you've gone for silly over serious and you get something wacky. Clearly I'm too much of a coward to do this for Destiny 2, but I recall my giant mohawked Saint's Row 2 character with joy

It's also nice seeing my Arcadia-class jumpship, The Jackdaw, pulling some sweet maneuvers as it drops Jimmy into the Lunar Battlegrounds. The Jackdaw is one of three ships I keep equipped, and the one I like to bumble around in the most.

With the Jackdaw being effectively a single seat fighter craft, it's cramped cockpit is fine for pottering about the inner planets. When heading out for longer patrols or just taking the longer travel times out to Nessus, The Wayfarer is Jimmy's go to ship.

While lacking any of the offensive capabilities of the Jackdaw, this jumpship is more of a recreation vehicle and has the cozy interior cabin those Golden-age travellers would expect. Great when you're going to be camping out on Nessus for three weeks on an extended patrol.

(L-R) The Jackdaw, The Long Haul and The Wayfarer

The game engine shows all ships to be the same physical size, effectively matching the length of the Arcadia. However, from looking at some of the models I think this is just a limit of the game-engine, and that some of the ships should be imagined to be bigger. This quick photoshop merges three screenshots of my 'fleet' in orbit of the moon, and nicely sums up how big I think they actually are.

The Long Haul for example (which in game is the Deep Space Hauler exotic jumpship) looks to have two sets of cockpit windows, the first around the midpoint of the main fusalage and the second on the bulge at the top of the fusalage which makes it look to be the size of a Boeing or Airbus commercial jet and suggests that it much larger than the Arcadia Jumpship. Perfect, if the Vanguard need a bunch of cargo shifting from the Tower to an operational outpost somewhere.

[inventors-fair]

A Spark of Genius: “Signature Spellbreakers” winners ~

Congratulations to @izzet-always-r-versus-u, @snugz, and @spooky-bard for winning this week’s contest!

@izzet-always-r-versus-u — Hila, Reclusive Witch

I’m pleasantly surprised by the balance of this card, with the willingness to push out a very specific archetype and the ability to capture a regardless-draftable and relevant planeswalker in one fell swoop. When considering what this set might look like, I can see a higher-than-average as-fan of curses, but if you draft just two or three, then this card becomes worth it. Even then, what if you’re doing a BR burn deck? Hell yeah, get the aggro. Discard, too! Dimir Mill? That’s draftable! The inquiry is both specific and open-ended, and yet, the card by itself remains absolutely wonderful to play. I can imagine that, like, a storm-pinging deck that uses cantrips and Battle Hymn would find it almost broken, but that’s other constructed formats; by itself, it’s wonderful.

The Oathbreaker format, too, loves the specificity of this card. It encourages fast gameplay, it’s removal, advantage, and a TUTOR of all things—and it remains unbroken! The “spell” specificity was the best choice and hey, signature spells are indeed wonderful options. If your opponents have hexproof... Well, hey, what’re you gonna do except make ‘em sacrifice enchantments. It’s a stellar card all around.

I would build this deck with Praetor’s Grasp or Cruel Entertainment.

~

@snugz — Crucius, Etherium Architect

Right, so, you’re evil, but so am I. Honestly it’s a bit of a coincidence that black was so prevalent this week in general, but I feel that perhaps multiplayer/political gameplay makes folks think of battlefield manipulation. This card isn’t quite like that, though. Instead this card encourages Narset locking and—lol, no, I’m kidding. The thing is, like, in a draft? Of course you’re going to jam this if possible, but only the first two abilities would be absolutely relevant, and yet the last ability is still amazing. Like, this card is, no doubt, encouraging some things that I know are hardcore control-based. I like that. I think it would be a hard card to get rid of. I also think that that -X is incredibly powerful and the most worrying part about this card, but that a powerful RG aggro/removal archetype could do the job to keep it in check.

What about multiplayer? I hope folks came prepared. The fact that it doesn’t protect itself necessarily is probably the most balanced part of it. Of course, getting back all your artifacts and stuff is a pain in the butt, and the fact that artifacts can improvise for artifacts is really powerful, but yeesh. Is the recursion too much? I think that despite the cost, a control-toolbox card like this could be kept in check. Still, my only critique would be that maybe six starting loyalty is the right answer instead of seven. Some limitations are necessary. Also, uh, maybe a shorter name with that mana cost combo.

I would brew this with Dance of the Manse or Access Denied.

~

@spooky-bard — Krulth, the Raucous

I’m so glad that first ability is worded correctly here because it shows that you’ve either a) studied enough cards to know the correct wording on drawing/losing order or b) read about how often I beg people to do the same having seen so many people miswrite it. But let’s get the minor stuff out of the way first, the polish that, I promise, means that I love this card. I believe the “their” in the third loyalty ability should be “that player’s,” because the “they” referring to the creatures is a little confusing? Pronouns and grammar and MTG sometimes need that little tinkering. The last ability, I believe, should be “Krulth enters with an additional loyalty counter on it if it entered from a graveyard.” Mmmmaybe. I’m 90% sure.

Draft with this card? Yes, you have an awesome RB reanimation package with theft and recursion that’s not broken and a late-game wonderful tie-in and options and card advantage and it’s a toolbox that means you get to do SO many things with it! Oathbreak with this card? You have a multiplayer target on your back but lord knows that you can work with it in the madness of it all. I feel the design choices oozing from this card, and it’s incredibly streamlined and slick and funny. That second loyalty ability is gorgeous! Macabre Tango, if you will. Unearth and the return is...beautiful, absolutely beautiful. This feels like a Horizons card that is what Horizons should be: fun power without compromising the meta.

I would play this baby with Yawgmoth’s Vile Offering or Shared Trauma.

Runners soon, commentary to follow!

@abelzumi​