#Like cmon we can’t just start off batshit crazy

[heuimagines]

See the problem is that I want to post here but the fantasies I’ve spun around my head recently are either a.) too sexual b.) too self indulgent/specific or c.) too heavy to open this page with. do u see my problem. - 🫀

[fuutaenjoyer]

milgram oceangate

i don’t know man i’m mentally ill and cannot consume anything without immediately thinking about milgram so here it is

not proofread btw

“waaaahh.. Muu’s scared…” sobs rang out through the submarine as Muu clutched onto Harukas arm, sniffling dramatically and certainly not doing anything to help with the current predicament, especially the steadily dwindling supply of oxygen.

Although, that being said, Haruka wasn’t in a much better situation. whether it was his empathy of seeing Muu so distraught, or maybe he had finally found value in his own life, he was sniffling quietly, white knuckling the fabric of Muu’s uniform. “i’m sorry.. i’m sorry muu, i’m so sorry..” he repeatedly apologised, practically folding in on himself as he curled up, probably trying to block out the reality of the situation.

kazui sighed, massaging his brow as if his biggest issue was an oncoming headache, and not the fact that he was stranded at the bottom of the ocean. “now now you two, i’m sure we’ll be fine.. ah, and you using up all of the oxygen really isn’t gonna make the situation any better..” his voice was tired, and although he didn’t sound particularly annoyed, or scared, for that matter. actually, he sounded more bemused than anything, having already attempted to start a game of cards about three separate times since they’d received the news they were stranded.

“ugh, as if you’re not using just as much oxygen.. i mean, out of everyone here, you’re definitely the largest.” yuno retorted, biting her thumb and shooting him a glare. her usual bubbly attitude had disappeared roughly half an hour into being stranded, and she was now effectively brooding, not seeming too worried about the prospect of death, but more annoyed that when she did die it would be in a glorified pringles can.

“well, that’s not very nice.” kazui exhaled, doing his best old man pout, before a grin took over his face. “well, if i’m already using so much oxygen, i’m sure no one would mind if i have a smoke?”

yunos expression twisted into one of clear amusement as mahiru gasped next to her, leaning over her and shaking her head very dramatically. “no! you can’t do that! if you did then we really might die!”

“we’re already going to die.” amane shot from across the submarine, legs crossed neatly. “instead of worrying about surviving, you should all start praying to see if a last ditch effort can keep you out of hell. not that i have much hope for you, though.”

“aah, amane-chan, you really shouldn’t be so pessimistic.” shidous smile was tired, however that wasn’t really anything new. his smile was twitching a small amount, serving as the only sign that the situation was getting to him at all. he opened his mouth to say something out, when a rather pathetic whining sound came from the floor next to him.

as if on cue, everyone turned to look at where mikoto was tied up on the floor, tears in his eyes as he attempted to plead for his freedom through the gag.

“don’t you think we could let him out..?” mahiru asked tentatively, averting her gaze in pity.

kotoko shook her head, arms cross in defiance, glaring at his rather helpless figure. “nope. no way. this guys crazy, y’know? if we let him go he might go batshit and try to destroy the submarine, or something, killing all of us.”

“well, if we’re all going to die—“ yuno began to speak, voice flat, before she was interrupted.

“we’re not all gonna die! they’ve sent out search parties for us! they’ve got to— we’re gonna get rescued!” fuuta insisted. although he wasn’t openly crying like muu and haruka, his pale complexion and the fact that he’d threatened to throw up on 5 separate occasions was enough to show that he wasn’t taking the situation well.

yet again, mikoto made another noise, wriggling to look up at fuuta with pleading eyes. fuuta grimaced in response, mumbling an apology under his breath. “cmon, man, you know there’s nothing i can do..”

“we could at least take his gag off..?” mahiru offered, gnawing on her bottom lip.

“no way!” muu shouted tearfully, gasping for breath. “wh- what if he uses up all of the o- the oxygen?!” she sniffs and tightens her grip on haruka, who starts sniffling even louder at her words.

“says you!” fuuta shouted in response, his own voice a little wobbly. “i didn’t even wanna get on this stupid thing! y’know, as soon as we get out of here i’m calling a lawyer!” he declared as he turned to look at es accusingly.

speaking of, es was sitting at the far end of the submarine, white knuckling the xbox controller that fuuta had loaned from his very own gaming setup and staring directly at jackalope.

the group feel silent as they waited for some sort of response, expecting es to defend themself, at least.

“mm. i know.” they murmured, nodding as they spoke, not taking their gaze off of jackalope.

“you know?! then why the hell did you take us on this thing?!” fuuta snapped, clearly not happy with the response.

finally, es looked up, expression unemotive as always. “can you be quiet for a moment? i’m trying to listen to jackalope.”

another brief period of silence descended, with even muu and haruka falling quiet, before muus sobbing picked up once again, this time even more anguished. “our only hope is talking to a rabbit!” she wailed, tilting her head back and sobbing loudly, shaking haruka as she did so.

“n- no way..” fuuta mumbled, shakily lifting a hand over his mouth. “we’re all gonna die… no way…..”

mikoto shuffled across the floor, resting his head against fuutas leg, perhaps in an attempt to comfort him, but more likely in an attempt to wriggle himself free.

“our father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name..” amane pressed her palms together, closing her eyes and continuing to pray.

“amane, i really don’t think this is the time—“ shidou began to speak.

“oh my god.. i’m gonna die before ever getting married!” mahiru exclaimed, joining muu and haruka in wailing loudly, clutching onto yuno who patted her head with a limited amount of sympathy.

“look at it this way, marriage is for losers.” she nodded wisely, to which mahiru only began to cry louder.

kazui spoke up against the cacophony of sobs, an easy smile still fixed on his face. “so, how about some black jack?”

“i refuse to die with these idiots!” kotoko snapped, climbing to her feet and hoisting a bat over her shoulder.

“wah— hey, where did she get that from?!” fuuta exclaimed, shuffling back words and staring up at her in a mix of shock and terror. mikoto clearly shared the sentiment from his muffled yell, although it was impossible to make out much more.

it was only when kotoko started walking towards the singular window that everyone else realised what she was planning to do.

“kotoko, no! we’ll all die!” shidou attempted to reason as he stumbled to his feet, his legs no doubt having gone numb from sitting down for so long.

kotoko lifted the bat up, expression determined, before swinging it at the window.

[well-its-not-human-anymore]

Okokok here this: april, reader and casey try to prank the boys. How does it go. With who does it fails/success, what was the prank, do they get caught? Do the boys get revenge, and if so, how?

Also, splinter sees it all unfolds, does he just gets himself a snack and watch, or does he tries to subtly join in without getting caught? (We all know hes got a playful side cmon)

Bonus: they try to prank vern too, maybe the boys join in to prank him? What do they do? Does he retaliate?

Okay so I admit I let my brain go nuts on this one, so it's a little long but I was cackling the entire time I was writing it.

TMNT Headcanons

Prank Wars

Leonardo

In your complete and utter defence, Leo had 100% started this

And also in your defence, you did tell him not to

Twice

But he tricked you into watching a horror movie and ended up dying your hair green

This meant war

You'd even wrapped up April and Casey into it

Their problems were your problems

Which meant that April was the one who convinced Splinter not to say anything to his sons

He was perfectly happy to oblige

Casey was just there to help set things up

And you liked the way his mind worked

The objective wasn't to go unnoticed, there would be no point in doing it and having no proof

You were doing this to prove that you could

Leo had emphasized that he couldn't be distracted

That you were to obvious and clumsy to prank him without him noticing

Challenge fucking accepted

And that's how you ended up at the kitchen table eating lunch with April and Casey when the boys were coming back from meditating with Splinter

April kept having to shove food in her mouth to hide her laughter

Casey just decided to wear sunglasses

And you kept overpowering the urge to smirk

"Hey guys, good to see you. Y/n have you seen my katanas?"

With the obstruction of water in your mouth you just nodded at him, pointing to the other room

He sauntered off, none the wiser to your victorious grin

When he came back in only a moment later his expression had done a complete 180

Leo made direct eye contact with you and you held that stare like a wolf cornered in its den

"does someone want to explain why my katanas are encased in blueberry jello?"

You raised your hand like a child in class

"hate to break it to you, but it's actually berry blue you uncultured bitch"

Raphael

Ohhhh you were so undeniably dead

A whole other level of six feet under

It wasn't a surprise that April and Casey had backed out on this one

It also wasn't a surprise that Splinter had offered to stand up for you if things went sideways

Donnie even gave you a sheet of paper with a list of hiding spots before hand

All of this went completely unnoticed by Raph, the target of your latest scheme.

And that was fine, you had only one objective here-

Make it out alive

But it was amazing what 1 person could do with some extra cash and internet access

So that's what led you to your current position.

Cross legged on the bench, watching the large red terrapin get ready for his first set, that in itself wasn't unusual, you always watched him lift just in case you needed to run and grab someone if something went wrong

Raph was none the wiser to your plan

At least that's what you thought

Your book was in your lap and you were calmly scanning your pages, somewhat comprehending the words but keeping a very close eye on the turtle across from you

"Hey y/n?"

You peeked over the edge of your book to meet his eyes

And your heart sank to your stomach

"Yeah Raph?"

He smirked at you, taking a lumbering step forward

"You ever seen that episode of the Office where Jim fills Dwight's phone with nickels so when he takes 'em out Dwight punches himself in the face?"

Shit shit shit shit shit shit-

"Uh... No, can't say that I have, why do you ask?"

That damn smile got even wider and all of your muscles tensed, you were ready to bolt

"I'm giving you a fifteen second headstart. Starting right now."

You flew to your feet and sprinted out of the weight room

"DONNIE WE GOTTA CODE RED!"

Your lungs were ready to burst by the time you made it to your decided hiding spot. Heavy footsteps went right underneath you and you held your breath, you wouldn't dare move.

You didn't come down until hours later when Splinter came and coaxed to you out of hiding

But deep down you knew you'd started something you couldn't finish.

Vern Fenwick

You didn't even have to convince the guys to partake in this

You didn't even get the chance to tell them what you were planning

They were already brainstorming

None of you let a word of it slip to April, she would've shut you down faster than you could blink

A complete buzz kill

But fake blood was relatively cheap and all of Vern's flooring was tile (meaning extremely easy to clean and bleach)

Donnie had really been the mastermind behind the execution, none of you had any idea how he'd rigged the apartment plumbing

But he'd assured you it would only affect Vern's suite and no one else's so you didn't concern yourself with it further

And after the fact you had to wonder what exactly the former cameraman was planning on the date he'd been in the middle of

All you knew was that you got a very frantic call from the falcon himself yelling about blood coming out of his tap and the sink wouldn't shut off and it was everywhere and what the fuck was happening?

You all knew that Splinter thought it was hilarious, he'd never been particularly fond of Vern

But he did make his sons assist in the clean up and bleaching of the victims apartment floor

You went too and offered moral support

Vern had hit on you one too many times, so there was no way you'd feel bad about this

Michaelangelo

As far as pranking went, you and Mikey were partners in crime

He always had great ideas and you always came up with the best ways to execute those ideas without getting caught

But when you separated those two chaos was guaranteed

You weren't entirely sure how you had been pitted against each other but you weren't entirely mad about it

You couldn't say the same for anyone else though, the others had been on edge all week.

Pranking Mikey was a challenge, he knew how you worked and vice versa

You'd been brainstorming with April for weeks now, maybe a new perspective would help

That's what the two of you told yourselves anyways

Much to your dismay, Mikey and Casey had been plotting against you as well, the traitor.

And perhaps even more unfortunate was the fact that both of your pranks somehow overlapped and backfired on the rest of the family

Because Mikey and Casey may have replaced the family tea set with a edible sugar replica that looked identical to the original

So that when you were asked to make tea for Splinter and Leo it would dissolve the second you poured the hot tea

But they didn't tell anyone else so Leo was left with an impromptu anxiety attack when he made his own tea before sitting down to meditate and it melted into sugary leaf water

And you and April had planned the 'cutting off your finger in the kitchen' with the knife, fake finger, and fake blood

Which in theory should've worked because Mikey was in the kitchen the most, that was his territory

However once you'd started your plan you couldn't stop it

so when you 'cut your finger off' and screamed for Mikey you didn't have time to yell "wait it's a prank!" before Donnie caught a glimpse of the scene and fainted

In your defence you didn't know the purple turtle could move that fast

And to Mikey's relief he was going to throw that cutting board out anyways

Splinter explicitly banned the two of you from pranking each other after that incident

Donatello

Per your own common sense you had come to the conclusion that pranking the families resident genius was a horribly stupid idea

So for once, you'd practiced some self control and refrained from any pranks involving Donnie

Now that's not to say that the turtle vowed from aiming any pranks towards you

He had morals but messing with you walked the line separating adorable from batshit crazy

And he was all for it

April advised against it severely and even Splinter seemed to think it wasn't the best idea, but that was a lesson his son had to learn on his own

On the flip side, the second Casey heard about Donnie's plan he was all for it

So when you came over for dinner they both had to hide their excited smiles as Casey passed you your spaghetti

He knew it was your favorite

Everyone else was oblivious, which looking back on it was a very bad thing

April had her suspicions that Donnie was pulling something this evening, but she couldn't put her finger on it

That wasn't until you swirled a mouthful of noodles around your fork and shoved it into your mouth, you were starving

Here lies your predicament-

You swallowed thickly and blinked like you were in pain, your hand went to your throat and you reached for your water, ending up chugging almost the entire bottle.

Your eyes met Donnie's in a serious type of concern

"Is there hot sauce in this?"

April choked on her breadstick and quickly covered her mouth

Casey hadn't picked up on it yet

"Awh yeah- how'd you figure it out so quickly?"

You erupted in a coughing fit that sent April rushing to your side before you could tumble to the floor

"You fucking assholes! Y/N has a capsaicin allergy! Casey go start the car we need to get them to the hospital!"

On the bright side you were fine after you were rushed to the ER

But you didn't speak to Donnie or Casey for two weeks following the accident

You eventually forgave them for it and they haven't targeted you since

Sorry if it got a little dark at the end, but I felt like it was more realistic. Also that has actually happened to me but it was a nut allergy (and that's how I found out I was allergic to cashews) But I feel like the ending was a good example of how pranking someone can go horribly wrong, you should always consider the possibilities before doing something that could cause harm to a person. (Unless they really really deserve it)

I really enjoyed writing this one and I hope you guys like it as much as I do! 😁🧡👍

-Mars 🌠