#some people who were special to me i guess
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HANA, DUL, SET : 107 - PARK SUNGHOON
all or nothing.
To be honest, fuck that modesty, Really I just want you here on top of me
♱ PAIRING : PARK SUNGHOON X MALE READER ♱ CONTENT WARNING : This writing contains explicit sexual content and mature themes. ♱ AUTHOR'S NOTE : --- LINKS : Wattpad | Book Link | Masterlist
The sun filtered through thin curtains, casting a warm glow over the tidy room. M/n stirred under the soft comforter, his body sinking into the plush mattress beneath him. The faint scent of lavender detergent lingered on the bedding, mingling with the scent of something flowery. Sunghoon's cologne, maybe.
Blinking awake, M/n sat up groggily, taking in his surroundings. Trophies gleamed from a nearby shelf, and pictures of Sunghoon with his family lined the walls.
His phone buzzed violently on the bedside table, the screen lighting up with a flood of texts and missed calls from his mother. Anxiety surged in his chest as he swiped through them, but he didn't have time to dwell on it before the door creaked open.
Sunghoon stepped inside, carrying a tray with toast, a mug of tea, and some fruit. He was still in his pajamas; an oversized hoodie and loose sweatpants and his black hair was adorably messy.
"G'morning," Sunghoon said softly, his lips curving into a shy smile. "I, uh... brought you something to eat. I didn't know what you eat so I just kinda put stuff together."
M/n blinked at him, then smiled as he leaned back against the headboard. "Wow, breakfast in bed? Am I really that special, dear wife?"
Sunghoon's cheeks flushed as he set the tray down on the bedside table. "I'm not your wife and I'm choosing not to let you starve."
"Oh, boo" M/n grabbed the tea, taking a careful sip. Sunghoon sat at the edge of the bed, his knee brushing against M/n's under the covers. He stared down at his hands, fiddling with the hem of his hoodie.
"You didn't have to do all this," M/n said, his voice softer now. "Really. Thanks."
Sunghoon glanced up, meeting M/n's gaze for a moment before quickly looking away. "I just... I wanted to make sure you were okay. You looked... I don't know. Like you needed to get away."
M/n's heart softened at the quiet sincerity in his voice. He set the tea aside and shifted closer, his knee pressing lightly against Sunghoon's. "You're too good, Sunghoon. You know that?"
Sunghoon's breath hitched. "I'm just trying to help."
"Well, you're doing a pretty fucking great job."
The space between them felt heavy, charged. M/n's gaze lingered on Sunghoon's flushed face, the way his lips pressed together nervously, how his fingers twitched against the bedspread. Without thinking, M/n reached out, brushing a stray strand of hair from Sunghoon's eyes.
Sunghoon froze, his eyes widening slightly. "M/n..."
M/n chuckled softly, tilting his head. "What? Am I making you nervous?"
"No," Sunghoon said quickly, though his reddening ears betrayed him. "I just... I don't usually let people in like this. Not this much."
"Well, lucky me, I guess," M/n said, his tone playful but his expression sincere.
For a moment, it felt like time had stopped. They were so close that M/n could feel the warmth radiating off of Sunghoon, could hear the slight hitch in his breath. He wasn't sure who leaned in first, but suddenly their lips were locked together.
Sunghoon's heart pounded violently as their lips met, the kiss starting soft before depending with urgency. His hands previously clenched, now grasped at the hem on M/n's shirt, pulling him closer.
When they parted, Sunghoon's chest heaved with unsteady breaths. "M/n..." Sunghoon whispered, his eyes glazed over with a mix of emotions. Embarrassed, he buried his face in the crook of M/n's neck, inhaling his scent deeply. His arms snaked around M/n's waist, holding him close as if he never wanted to let go.
"What's wrong with you?" M/n asked in a chuckle, returning the embrace.
"Nothing, nothing..." Sunghoon mumbled into M/n's neck, his voice shaking slightly. He held on tighter, feeling a sense of security, he'd never felt with someone romantic before.
Sunghoon pulled back slightly, gazing into M/n's eyes with an intensity he'd never imagine he'd see in Sunghoon's face. "You're not going run away if I tell you... I want you, right?" His voice was hesitant, M/n could tell he wasn't joking.
"Want me? Like... in a sex kinda way?
"Yes, He said firmly, his eyes darkening as he traced his thumb over M/n's jawline as his palm cupped his face. "Maybe, is that okay?" His other hand moved to rest on M/n's waist, "I'm I too fast?"
"No," M/n pressed his forehead to Sunghoon's, "I can handle fast."
Sunghoon shyly smiled as he pushed M/n laying down, his head properly on a pillow while Sunghoon crawled on top of him. "It this okay?"
"This isn't the first time we've been in this position," M/n said teasingly.
Sunghoon rolled his eyes then let out a small laugh, "Smartass." He muttered playfully, gently moving his hands to either side of M/n's head, "For the record, I'm here intentionally," His eyes dropped to M/n's lips, but as he leaned in, just right when they connected the bedroom door swung open.
"Oh my God, I'm so sorry!" Coach Park said after a large gasp and hand slapping over his eyes.
Sunghoon jumped up so fast he tripped over himself. "Dad, Jesus Christ!"
M/n groaned, burying his face in his hands, stifling a giggle. "Good morning, Coach."
Coach Park's eye crinkle, still insanely embarrassed. "Right, good morning, M/n. I came to say your mother called... and um, requested you come home."
"Great," M/n muttered under his breath. He climbed out of bed, stretching before grabbing his phone and bag. "I'll go now then."
Sunghoon hovered near the door as he fanned himself from not over heating in embarrassment, looking like he wanted to say something but couldn't find the words. As M/n passed him out the bedroom door Coach held open, he mouthed "I'm sorry."
The bus ride home was a quiet one. M/n slouched in his seat, his headphones in but no music playing as he stared blankly out the window. His mind was racing, his chest tight. The texts from his mom had stopped about an hour ago, but the missed calls left a hollow pit in his stomach.
The bus screeched to a halt at his stop, and he reluctantly got off, walking down the familiar cracked sidewalk toward his house. He could already feel the tension brewing in the air as he approached the door, his hand hesitating on the knob before pushing it open.
Inside, his mom was pacing the living room, her face pale and lined with worry. "M/n! Where were you? I've been calling-"
Before she could finish, a heavy voice cut through the room. "So, you decided to show up after all."
M/n's body tensed. His father, Coach Shin, stepped into view, his towering figure casting a shadow across the room. His arms were crossed, and his face was set in a scowl that promised nothing good.
"I stayed at a friend's," M/n said flatly, dropping his bag by the door.
"A friend's?" his father repeated, his voice dripping with disdain. "You join that new team and you think your friends?"
M/n clenched his fists, trying to keep his voice steady. "They are, much better than Anton and Wonbin. Did you even know they hurt me? I choose not to take your shit anymore."
That was the wrong thing to say. His father's eyes darkened, and he took a step closer. "My shit? You think you're some big shot now, huh? Too good to follow my rules?"
"Stop it, both of you!" his mom interjected, stepping between them. "He's home now, isn't he? Just let it go!"
"Stay out of this," his father snapped, shoving her aside. "This is between me and someone who calls himself a man."
M/n's jaw tightened as he stepped forward, placing himself protectively in front of his mom. "Don't touch her."
Coach Shin's lip curled into a sneer. "What are you gonna do about it? You think you're a man now? Newsflash, you're just a spoiled little brat who can't handle discipline."
"Discipline?" M/n barked, his voice rising. "Is that what you call it? Beating me down every chance you get? You're not a coach, nor a father, you're a bully!"
The words had barely left his mouth when his father lunged forward, grabbing him by the collar. "You've got some nerve, talking to me like that," he growled, his grip tightening.
"Stop it!" his mom cried, trying to pull them apart.
M/n didn't flinch, meeting his father's glare head-on. "Go ahead. Hit me. Prove me right."
For a moment, the room was deathly silent. Then, with a frustrated growl, his father shoved him back, sending him stumbling into the wall where a family portrait fell, the glass over shattering. "Get out of my sight," he spat.
M/n straightened, his chest heaving as he grabbed his bag from the floor. "Gladly. Don't worry, you won't have to deal with me anymore. I'm gonna get that appeal, and I'll see your ass on the court."
His mom reached out, tears streaming down her face. "M/n, please-"
"I'll be fine," he said softly, giving her hand a quick squeeze before walking out the door.
#kpop x male reader#kpop fanfic#kpop x reader#kpop bg#enhypen x male reader#kpop#kpopidol#sunghoon#sunghoon x male reader#enhypen scenarios#enhypen#engene#enha#enhypen x reader#enhypen imagines#enha x reader#enha imagines#enha fluff#park sunghoon x reader#enhypen sunghoon#park sunghoon#sunghoon x reader
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♡{Onychinus' Kitten:}♡ [Part #6]
Sylus Qin X female!Cat-Hybrid!Reader
{Notes:}
This is my first fan-fiction, if you have any tip/suggestions please let me know!In this story, the 'reader' is NOT the MC, and is female(I don't have an issue with males reading, but I don't know anything about guys, and I want to be authentic. If you'd like a male-reader fan-fic please collaborate with me to deepen my understanding of the male-mind)
{Trigger-warnings:}
This story will contain mentions human-trafficking(not in-detail; Technically hybrid-trafficking), the experimentation of humans-subjects, mentions past-trauma. ALSO; The reader is described as having all limbs, having the ability to use all senses, and as having hair. I'm sorry if this is an issue, I'm trying to be as universal as possible, but if you'd like a specialized part, please message me.
After dinner, the man, who you came to know as "Sylus", ordered his henchmen to escort you back to your room. He referred to them as "Luke" and "Kiren", but he didn't explain which of them was Luke, and which one was Kiren.
You now sat idly waiting for the two to arrive, with the bare, jet-black oakwood table before you. The crimson-red placement-mat gently cradling your hands as you softly rested them upon the table.
Sylus had left soon after giving his orders, so now it is just you and your new-found crow-companion.
Time seemed to stretch on forever as you waited. You were part cat, of course you get bored easily. It definitely didn't have anything to do with having a lack of a maturity level.
Little did you know, this wait was too, a test; To see what you'd do if you were left alone.
As boredom crept in, you leaned forwards onto the table, reaching out to pet the crow that sat perched on the table.
Y/N: "Hey, little.. Uh..? Me-? Meo-? Me-thh?.. Ah, little guy. I-ah, ha.. I can't remember your name.. He, he.."
You put you fingers through the the crow's feathers; It felt as odd as it looked. The feathers had a metallic texture, it was like dragging your hand across the handles of lined-up, thin silverware. Each feather had a soft texture and had some give, yet they were sold and firm, like a folding-fan.
As you petted the crow, it made a slight machnial "Iiia" noise.
Y/N: "Aw, do yo- Ah!"
Suddenly, you could hear footsteps as you went to speak. There seems to be two people walking towards the dinning room.You jolted into a proper sitting-position, retracting your hands to sit in your lap; The reaction rote.
The door opens to reveal the two hooded people who escorted you earlier.
"Wow, you're still alive? The boss really does like you."
One of them said.
"Surviving an entire meal with the boss definitely speaks volumes."
Said the other one.
"It seems we've been tasked with escorting you, again. So, let's go."
As they spoke, they walked to you, then gestured with their heads to leave. If you weren't imagining it, One of them seemed more flamboyant than the other. Looking closer, you realize that on their hoods, they have differing numbers; "06" and "07".
As you walked down the same hallway you walk earlier, gained the courage to ask for the subordinates' names.
Y/N: "Uh, h-hey? Is it alright if I.. Ask for your names?"
"And, what would you do with that information?"
"Just telling you wouldn't be any fun."
"Yeah."
"Why don't you take a guess?"
They turned towards you, and leaned in.
These two, they seem to be the very definition of "Mischief".
Y/N: "Uh.. Um, You're Kiren and.. You're Luke?"
You pointed at each of them, guessing a random answer.
"Wrong answer! Try again!"
"You only have one chance left!"
They spoke as if you were a contestant on a game-show.
"Um, okay. Then.. You are Luke and you are Kiren."
You said, reversing who you pointed at.
"Nope! That's incorrect!"
They said in unison, laughing as the began walking again.
You let you a small "Wha-!?", before walking with a quickened pace to catch up with them.
As you continue to walk, you caught sight of a window that you were nearing; Going outside was such a scarce thing, only done for training purposes.
Luke and Kiren immediately lifted their guards when noticing your reaction when seeing the window; A glint in your eyes and your fluffy ears gave a twitch. But, after a moment, your expression changed; Eyes drifting downwards and looking dejected. After all, 'why would they let you go outside?'. The twins could understand. And, against their better judgment-
"Do you want to go over there?.. To the window?"
"We can let you."
They spoke with such fragility. They sounded nostalgic. They sounded so gentle. It was like they had just out a band-aid on a old, ugly scar, that was left as a gaping wound since it was made- Not just to cover it, but to treat it with the care it never received. Your heart, it felt tight.
It was odd, but you wanted to take this chance. It may not come again.
Y/N: "O..Okay."
They kept walking, changing the directory to stand in front of the window.
You stood in front of it, the twins stood silently behind you as you slowly came closer.
The window was clean; Shiny and reflective.
You took a glance backwards at the twins, the thought of someone standing behind you while your guard is down makes you uneasy, but they keep at a distance, which at that, you decide to move look back at the glass before you, moving even closer.
Looking at your reflection, you looked odd, but you liked it. You looked so different, you were hardly recognizable. You didn't mind it though, it.. It felt right.
You came even closer to the glass, to see the world beyond it.
Leaning in gently, you hesitantly put your hands on the glass- It's cold. You jerk your hands back at the unexpected chill. After a second, you return your hands on the glass, intakiing the coldness with curiosity.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b081d4503447d16bf680f5c280801f2f/f025ecbf79acde6c-43/s540x810/69d6c5207b496203cf950938960f29af83a58a2f.jpg)
The dark cityscape sits below. It's a marvelous sight. Your lips curved into a smile, driven by your awe. You breath comes out in little huffs, wonder spreads through your thight-feeling heart and into your nerves. Your eyes widened, sparkles of excitement igniting within them.
Under their masks, the twins wore matching -as always- soft smiles.
"You seem to be enjoying this, but..We need to get going."
Y/N: "Ah.. Oh, okay.."
The sudden statement, brought you out of your awed-state.
Feeling sort of disappointed, you solemnly walked back to your room.
Before you reached the door, the twins came in front of you; One of them stood on the side of the door where the hinges are, holding the doorknob, the other faced you while gesturing the door as if it were a win-able prize.
"Are you ready?"
They gleefully said in unison.
Y/N: "Uh? Yeah..?"
You said, your voice unsure and confused.
"TA-DA!"
The two said with a flourish.
Your breath catches your throat- Before you, on the floor of an originally bare, dark room, is a large verity of bags and boxes filled with girls' clothing, plushies, and other items.
You're frozen in shock. "Did-did they.. Do this?" You thought.
Y/N: "Are.. Are these things.. For me?"
It was self-absorbed to assume, but you had to ask.
"Of course!"
"Who else would all this belong to?"
They replied. The one with "06" on his hood picked up a pink, plush bunny toy.
"As funny as it would be, the boss probably would kill us if we gave him this!".
He said while laughing.
The other twin walk to the gift-filled area and lifted a dress.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/37a5c6123b3f7781c652b1e68aeaee69/f025ecbf79acde6c-b9/s540x810/2e039c8a03d0ea8f352365b5bf445b396eb8a29a.jpg)
"If the boss wears 'this', death would be worth it!"
They both laughed as they pretend to wipe tears from their masks.
Their laughter was infectious, you began to giggle, too.
Without you noticing, they both stopped to witness you smile- It wasn't the forced one you gave before, it was real. It was beautiful. It was pure. It was something rare for the twins to experience, not just because it was from you, but because of the genuine, honest, and raw enjoyment in your smile.
Y/N: "Thank you. This- This is- .. A lot.. And, so.. So nice.. Thank you, both."
Through your slightly embarrassed and awkward laughter, your sincerity seeped through.
Nobody's ever done something like this for you. Nobody's ever went to such lengths for you before. Your chest felt so tight, it, and your stomach hurt. But you couldn't help but to enjoy this feeling.
Would this feeling last, though?
Were they just tricking you into lowering your guard?
["What does the word "Home" really mean?", it's a thought that always plagued you.. Would you ever learn the answer? Could you learn the answer here?]
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If you wouldn't mind, I'd appreciate a letter from Illario to Lucanis that is basically him wondering how the hell his awkward cousin managed to attract a hottie like Rook De Riva. (Bonus points for it being my Rook, Adava. I've posted a couple screenshot archives of her.) Thank you very much! This is such a wonderful and fun thing you're doing for the community!
Ding Dong. Another special delivery from the Antivan Postal Service.
We all know Illario is a yapper... this may be the reason why this letter is so crazy long. It's a bit more than just the one requested topic, I hope you don't mind, but I felt, that even Illario would not just kick down the door and starts asking awkward questions about his cousin's love-life. I honestly can't figure, how Lucanis would even answer this letter... Anyway, enjoy!
Transcript:
Cousin, I hope you don’t mind me, bothering you. I know the new First Talon is still saving the world and has probably not the time and even less patience to read from a despicable criminal anyway. Even (or rather because) said criminal is your blood and the closest thing to family you’ll ever have. Beside of course our dear Caterina, who naturally sends her regards (because this way she’s excused to write a letter to you herself. Which of course she would never confirm, and I would NEVER even think. Huh, who wrote that?)
I spend my time doing paperwork for the Diamond recently, since Viago could not be bothered to supervise me all day and night (which I don’t take offensive, I would not want to be my watchdog, either.) Of course no one gives me a contract anymore, maybe there are some with my name on it, but I fear, you’ll find that name in an unfamiliar spot there. No wonder, Viago is paranoid, that something might get out of hand. Which would make him fail his first ever contract from the new First Talon by losing his ward (that would be me).
Not that I wish for this to happen, but then, what is life without the roofs of Treviso in the moonlight, its markets and cafés. The canals and gondolas and the beautiful people in the streets. While I am stuck in the belly of the Diamond. Copying inventory lists.
Anyway, how’s your days? And I mean the parts we don’t get to read in the gazettes or war reports. Allow me to live a little through your new life. I want to know about hat Lighthouse you’re residing in. Living in the Fade is such a weird concept on its own – but being there stuck with a bunch of non-Antivans who are each so different and unique, but you’re still all on the same contract - that sounds like an interesting experience. And they are all so stunningly beautiful and exciting personalities.
Speaking of exciting: Send my kindest regards to that divine but harsh Tevinter detective if you don’t mind, my brother. I’d be very intrigued to get to know other Tevinter people. For a wider perspective, maybe if you want to call it that?
And no, I’m not trying to make a joke here. Or try to push a shady agenda. I just feel that my choices of people from the Imperium was not the… most educated one.
You know what? Never mind, you shouldn’t have to bother with such silly requests and why I feel to ask them from you.
Better we hold onto our words about the things past until we can exchange them in person.
But, you are aware that I simply could have made up a story to make you introduce me to her, right? Or, even better, I just could have written to your Tevinter friend right away, instead of asking you to give my regards…
Speaking of friends. Must be all new and awkward for you, cousin. I can’t remember you having any close acquaintances ever, at all, when we grew up. I would never have thought, you’d have that in you.
Of course now, this all new YOU will not have any more use for your poor cousin - who’s fallen from grace, to do all the nasty ice breaking and socializing for you. And we were such a successful double like that.
Remember that wigmaker job? Vyranthium, I guess. It got you your, moniker, right? Demon of Vyranthium. Just like a creepy foreshadowing, don’t you think? Anyway, what was I talking about? Ah!
You did all the bloody work back then, I happily give you that, but without me? Way more complicated it would have been, I dare say. And even more dangerous as it was already.
Cousin, just think about it. We could rule Antiva together. Or just retire and be the rulers of our own court, whereever that may be - and do what ever we please.
Or did you eventually make peace with being the one in charge? First Talon! So much responsibility. And so large boots to fill.
May Caterina continue to live and rule on for many many more years to come. So you don’t have to step up entirely. Letting her continue to draw strings in the shadows, while you being the representative and handsome young face of the Antivan Crows. That was a clever move from the old girl. Or was it yours? Either way. She could have all that with less drama and an even prettier face, far more willing, to put up with her and her attics. But, well, here we are.
Sorry, I fell back into ramblings about things again, that should be topic for us talking in person. Forgive me. How did I get there in the first place��� I have no idea. Maybe this gives you a hint, of just HOW boring the paperwork is, I get to do here. I start yapping. In a letter.
Before I end this pointless lament, cousin, brother! I want to congratulate you. Honestly. Of course, only if it's true, what’s going round within the Diamond and probably the salons of Treviso’s nobility, too. That the new First Talon, known to be the chastest of all Crows, finally decided to seriously court someone. And not only that. It’s even reciprocated this time, as we hear.
A strategic bond with the House of the 5th Talon? I hear that not few people are taking it this way.
But I know you better, cousin. You’d never engage into such an endeavor, when it’s not playing out like in your silly romance novels. (Yes, of course I know what you always hid between your textbooks and under the mattress. Kitsch!) But well, to each their own, I guess. You the books and me the real experience. But you seem to finally getting there, as it seems. Tell me everything, brother! I’ve witnessed you yapping about coffee and kisses goodbye and smarmy stuff like that. You were really into that de Riva girl, right from the start. There goes my last hope, that Adava had, or would ever discover, a soft spot for me behind her wall of professionalism and all business. Just joking, of course, I’m happy for you both. I mean it.
Just don’t let your heart and your… midsection get into the way of a contract. Which in your case would very much unfortunate for all of Thedas. But who am I to give you advice of matters of the heart… (or the midsection) My latest choices weren’t the smartest, either.
Before I end up filling a journal here, I’ll end now. If you want, write me back, I really want to hear about your life and could use any distraction. We’re family, after all. - Illario
Find the other letters here
#Illario Dellamorte#Lucanis Dellamorte#datv#dragon age the veilguard#the Dellamortes#rook de riva#Antivan Crows#crows my beloved#Antivan Postal Service#Letters from the crows#letters for the crows#letterbox game
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Kitty laughed, shaking her head as she took a drink. "I'm totally drinking for the taste of it, at this point. It takes me forever to get a buzz these days." She raised up her bottle, grinning, "No pressure, got it. I never gave into peer pressure in school, though. Mostly because I did the peer pressuring." She nodded along. Kitty wasn't sure if it looked like Rangi was doing great, but it looked like she was doing, and Kitty guessed that was good enough. She blinked. "Really?" she asked, her voice soft and quiet. "I mean, I'd-- I'd really dig them. Like, a lot." Comics, growing up, were an escape, a way to think about people who came into their own awesome powers, or who came to get powers of their own. And Kitty couldn't help but want that, couldn't help but want to be special in some way. It was easy to get lost in those worlds for hours at a time. "I was named after Kitty Pryde, you know," she said with a wide grin.
"Ugh, you're drinking light beer? It's a party, c'mon! Grab some good stuff!" Rangi encouraged, but she wasn't going to force it on her, of course. Rangi didn't know Kitty all too well, but she knew that her and Mason were close as well, and that was enough for her to feel a little soft and perhaps protective of the younger girl. "Only if you want, though. Totally no pressure." Rangi's smile strained, for a moment, and she took a long sip of her drink, nodding. "Great, doing great, right now, for sure." She was doing so great right now. The ever important right now. Swallowing, she added, "Yeah, sure, no-- no problem. I uh, have more of them. Old ones, from his collection. If you want 'em. He kept trying to get me into X-Men and I just think...they'd be better off with you, ya know? If you want 'em."
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Was talking to my partner last night about that thing my mum used to very well meaningingly do...she knew I had a lot of trouble making friends so whenever she heard about another kid about my age who was having trouble making friends she would try and arrange for us to hang out. I feel like the problem with this strategy is that kids who have trouble making friends are usually very, very awkward, and do not possess to social skills to alleviate the awkwardness of someone else. So you end up with two kids who are both being awkward at the same time and neither is able to help the other feel less awkward. I joked to my partner that you would have to introduce the kid who was not good at making friends to kid who was really amazing at making friends, which obviously in real life is not very workable (the concept of ‘pity friends’ is a not great thing for anyone). My mum is very kind and caring, and I know it must be hard for any caring parent to see your child fail socially over and over and be horribly upset about it. She did what she could. But kids in this position are more likely to stay in any friendships they do make even if those friendships are actually very unhealthy and are harming them. That’s what happened to me, she introduced me to someone when I was 12 who turned out to be very controlling and cut off my ability to make friends with anyone else. I will never know if without this person I might have formed actual friendship connections in my teens. They did a lot of harm to me and it’s really difficult to talk about that because they were my peer and also had been through some horrible things. I just clung on tighter because I saw how the world shat on my friend from a great height, like it does all kids who have experienced traumatic family breakdown. And yet in the end, my presence probably only made things worse. It doesnt do any good to harm yourself to try and save someone else, no matter how much you care about them. I really did care about him and I wanted to help and I couldn’t because the problems were vast and societal. I broke contact with him finally when we were adults, I assume this affected my mental health very much but I don’t know because I have no context for what my adolescent development would have been without him in my life. He used to say that needing people was weak, and so I believed it. (He obviously needed me at more than a few times but that’s neither here nor there.) But in reality, we all need people. We need friends and social connections that give us reciprocity and love. I do have friends now but sometimes I feel like I form connections too strong with some people who aren’t reciprocating. I may have mentioned this on here before but we talk about unrequited romantic feelings but not about onesidedness in platonic feelings, and I wish we did. When I’m in low times there are certain friendships that I mourn (absolutely not the one described above fyi!!) even if it’s been years, or I’m still in them and the other person thinks it’s fine but I feel so lonely for more closeness with them. I’m sure someone would helpfully tell me this is all normal but when you talk to people about this stuff, you can tell they don’t feel anything even slightly similar and are bemused. I don’t know what the solution is except to go on about it in writing so that’s what I do. And I don’t know how to help kids make stronger friendships or help a kid with no self esteem choose between being friendless but sticking up for themselves, or being in a damaging and harmful friendship.
#friendship#growing up#childhood#growing up weird#that's just what i'm calling it lol#i'm feeling a bit depressed and it causes me to write this kind of thing#i do have friendships that have drifted and i'm fine about it btw! It's only with some people#some people who were special to me i guess#actually i met a lot of them when i was starting to escape from my 'friend' discribed above#that can't be a coincidence can it#there's a lot of strong feelings associated with being treated like a person by a peer suddenly#or finding someone who is also weird like my 'friend' was but is also kind!#that's killer i'm gone immediately <3#i think i may have too much baggage about this for a functioning adult#and possibly making a big deal out of something that i shouldn't if i had real problems#but.............maybe that's the depression talking? i hope so :(#a big thing for me with my 'friend' was that i was the one without problems and he was the only one who did have problems#it took me way too long to realise that i was allowed to feel my own crappy moments without comparing them to someone who suffered far worse#you kind of can't....survive in yourself without having compassion for yourself in your own crappy moments and it was a hard lesson to learn
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The diffriders are so fucking fascinating to me specifically flare trooper dumjid bc like. You take a dragon mercenary who has seen war and has actively watched many comrades die. His whole thing is that he’s a perfect guard and thus the only one who survived, leading to a fucked up conception of himself as above death. And then you have him possess the body of some kid who presumably agrees to let him see earth bc That’s His Favorite Card And He Thinks He’s Cool and who’s probably like 12 (sorry saori I have no clue how old you are I’m just guessing based off taiyou + hiroki) and just. Walk around on earth (where are saori’s parents btw. Like you could say this about most vanguard characters but where are saori’s parents/guardians/friends do they know what “saori” is up to?? Does anyone who knew him pre-diffride realize how different he’s been acting?). Play a card game where he commands his dead comrades bc shiranui is paying him (which. How is he paying him, earth currency or cray currency? And what IS cray currency for that matter?). The only thing he likes about earth is the music but he is specifically cursed to keep having his headphones break. When a unit who’s diffriding a human dies in the human’s body, both the unit and the human die on both planets, and besides the money dumjid is only on shiranui’s team bc antero/miguel DIED, a fact which he’s fully aware of and iirc derides him for (may be wrong abt that one though). He constantly tells people to die when he’s cardfighting them. He is laid-back about vanguard and doesn’t care much until he loses a cardfight and because loss and death are inextricably linked in his mind he proceeds to get Super Fucked Up About It bc he’s built his entire self image off being The One Who Survives and losing the cardfight is akin to confirming that it’s possible for him to die & he especially can’t accept that Some Random Humans have the ability to take him out. Sometimes he shows his opponents the battlefield and the bodies of his comrades and they really don’t seem to devote much thought to it (like. What??? I get that chrono & friends love vanguard and chrono does address it a little bit but mostly iirc just to say “I don’t think that’s what vanguard actually does/that’s not OUR vanguard”). He’s affected worse and worse with each loss and joins a group trying to end the world to get revenge on the humans who’ve beaten him (iirc unclear whether he knows the success of the destruction of the earth will destroy him too). He becomes the last of the original diffriders - chaos breaker dragon doesn’t count he was diffridden during U20 - to remain on earth, a point which he makes sure to bring up as proof of his superior survival abilities. The kid whose body he’s possessing expresses that he’s not happy about the way dumjid’s acting and dumjid doesn’t give a shit and continues to puppet his body around. Just, everything about him as a character is so fascinating in a concerning way and, like shiranui, he brings up the fact that vanguard is Real in a way that the earth characters don’t really consider - yes they have strong imaginations and genuine attachment to their units, but ultimately they’re playing a card game where even if cards get sent to the drop/damage zones they can come back for the next battle* whereas on cray they’re fighting Actual Battles and the units that die die For Real And Permanently. Unlike shiranui, who eventually began to see vanguard as a method of reunion with his dead friends and decided that what he’d been told about earth vanguard being a direct cause for his friends’ deaths might be wrong, Dumjid never changes his view on earth vanguard after “experiencing death”, so when he finally loses and goes back to cray he’s essentially dragged back clawing and screaming. I don’t know, there’s just something about him that’s sooooo soooo fascinating to me
#*not counting g zones in battles with zeroth dragons except that chrono’s g zone DID come back#though that was probably only possible due to his Singularity so that’s a special case ig#also saori is kinda fascinating too in that he’s just some normal kid who agrees to let dumjid puppeteer his body bc he looks up to him#and then dumjid brings all his baggage and Completwlg Fucking Spirals and saori’s like I Want To Get Off This Ride Now but he Can’t#and while he once let dumjid control him now dumjids controlling him by force#and saori Doesn’t Like What He’s Doing but he Can’t Control His Own Body and he’s moving and speaking but it Isn’t Him#and even after dumjid is sent back from cray he falls in a coma#and I’m pretty sure he was in the coma for the longest time out of the people that were diffriden#which makes sense considering how much longer dumjid was controlling him for#but imagine waking up and you’re finally you again#but you have to deal with the fact that someone who you thought was cool used your body to try to start the apocalypse#and it affected your physical health too + you probably remember feeling all the things that dumjid felt#like. what. and I think we only saw him non-diffridden that one time in the last episode on his team with taiyou and hiroki#which was very cute and all and I’m glad he at least got friends out of it but Good God#anyways all the diffriders are just Fascinating to me and I could probably talk like this abt all of them#but I probably think about dumjid the most bc of *gestures* All That#sorry I have Gotta Yap Disease but I think I’m done now probably.#cfvg#fuchidaka saori#kind of#flare trooper dumjid#guess we’re tagging units now
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finished watching Silent Hill 3, and my conclusion about Silent Hill in general is that the writers understood that horror and comedy are oft two sides of the same coin, and good horror benefits greatly from absolutely absurd comedy to work well
#SH3 has some of the best writing of any game ever#it's also got some of the stupidest comedy ever#and therefore strikes the essential balance between spooky and absurd that I enjoy in horror#SH1 and SH2 also achieve this precarious balance for me but SH1 is more absurd and SH2 is more tragedy#I do plan to check out SH4 bc while I know 1-3 are considered the best I've heard 4 is ''fun to watch bad to play''#and that sounds like a special sort of stupid that I'd like to witness#I'm also going to watch the SH2 Remake at some point bc I heard the team did a phenomenal job w/ it#also to the like two or three people who guessed SH3 would probably be my fave out of the first three games#you were right go get yourself a treat#perfect balance of cosmic horror and ''weird teenage girl being a weird teenage girl and also getting revenge''#(and also the only SH game so far that actually had an ick factor for me like the ick in this game is actually icky--props to the art team)#also all the games OSTs are a work of art the composer really does deserve praise for those soundtracks#oracle of lore
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RAGE ! heh. yah.
To just veer off bc I have been rewatching this channels stuff lately - Batman stuff ! (x)
On to the rambles.
Yeah it just felt like every single character came out of the woodwork JUST to say 'wink wink nudge nudge we KNEW you two crazy kids would figure it out eventually!' and ?? why ??? why ?? why did you feel the need for their EXES specifically to give them the go ahead, to even shove them towards it even?? I just ?? surely they have other shit to talk about? Not to mention Rex and Eve's we are traumatized teens bonding was way more interesting then their very shitty romance!
I hate the fucking while I was dying I was thinking of you line too. Yes Mark. When you are panicking and freaked out, clearly that is when your mind is most clear. please. dear god. amid the ethics courses you should have been taking, a few ones about psychology and trauma response would also be good, yes?
lol Hannibal. Yeah. I agree. I love Mads' interview where he like Hannibal is the happiest man I have ever portrayed : ) and its like. he's right tho. That man IS having the time of his life and his falling in love, he is having a GREAT time. beautiful show. need to rewatch it soon.
I was talking to someone else and they compared the whole Eve and her parents situation to 'I wont be gay in the house but you can't stop me from being gay outside' and like. ugh. it really is tho. WHY are you still there. WHY are you so determined to make THESE people your family. You know you were (unknowingly adopted) they AREN'T your only option anymore. You aren't 12. You had TT ! (supposedly) You have NEW friends now!! Stop going back to these people!!
The UTTERLY SILENT (I do like the choice but it is also funny that all that happens is literally without a voice) and completely undiscussed by the main 'moral' force of the show maybe villains have REASONS for what they do opening ??? yeah it was great but it also feels so 'lol look at whats going on in the background! no one will ever realize how complex these situations can be!!' anyway here's Oliver being fucking stupid.
Like yeah, I loved the GoG breakdown/breakup in ep 3, as like a we all need to discuss autonomy and accountability and the messed up world we live and people are both right and wrong- but any of the personal-ness to it is ABSENT bc again.. we have rarely seen these people do anything. Stop calling them your family Samson! NONE of you know each other !! Also him calling out Rudy for playing the odds and then acting like he's all fond of him is wild. Amanda being so thrilled this 19 year old girl is marrying her boss is insane. AND Immortal just invited his own ass back, that shit is hilarious. You know that fucker would make anyone asking to come back jump through hoops.
I have played a bit with the idea of danger blind Debbie and it just.. it makes enough sense to me. Her response to terrible shit happening just being like 'well this is annoying : /' while everyone else is freaking out. I feel like Nolan would have been like ??? squishy human not afraid ??? and Debbie's response like ?? you think you're special bc you can kill me?? literally anything could kill me ! Why should I be afraid of you just bc you're fast and strong? A slow person with an air filled needle could get me !! and Nolan just having to be like : / Okay. I guess I see your point.
Look I find the over all narrative and some of the characters fascinating enough that I WANT to engage with and talk about this media, but honestly, I am such a hater and I don't even try not to be xD Invincible is my BUT YOU COULD BE GOOD IF YOU WERE GOOD fandom fr. 'star wars would be great if it wasn't star wars' is a thing I've seen half-jokingly get thrown around and for me its 'Invincible could be good if they weren't adhering it to the comic' lol
TBH I started a 'Cecil basically becomes Mark's parental figure' story that would take place in my Liar Liar/Man Who Played Wolf AU, but I ended up disliking it so I never really went back to salvage it. Maybe I just need to refocus and honestly just make it about Cecil : /
Honestly given a number of the dumb things the GDA gets up to I wonder how good they are at strategizing lol Like.. I really hoped they would leave out the 'we knew Nolan was lying FROM THE START!' thing, bc.. okay... he's a viltrumite. You have only just recently barely found anything that could hurt them... but... like... 20 years on the planet... and not only did you find nothing you didn't WARN anyone ? like ? where's the contingencies ??? Also I will never get over them not giving that astronaut a medical check up, just so he could go puke up more aliens into his sink. Sometimes I also think they deliberately prevent heroes from getting access to education bc the moment one of those fuckers learns how to strategize then you're ACTUALLY fucked, bc they really do make some dumb decisions in battles. constantly.
Yapping bug ! time for the yappings !!
While I'm not too familiar with the DCU- your batfam meta posts are intiguing- so in transfering some of the broader strokes from them- I think you tackling a 'Mark isn't Nolan's biological son' fic would be fascinating. Sort of a step to the side of the 'what if Mark never got his powers' fic that sometimes pop up in the fandom
OOOOOO chewing on this currently, hm, the much a distinct flavor of exactly what you’re talking about, but the potential for more family drama depending on WHO knows. Does Mark know?? Is he waiting every day only to be crushed? Does he confused non-Debbie features with Nolan’s? I suppose I’m not the most enthusiastic about non-power AUs, but I think there’s something very fun to explore about Mark having to settle with, if he knows all his life, he will never have powers? I think the trajectory of his dreams will obviously shift, I can see him still having that distinct fatherly idolization, but perhaps embraces being useful to the GDA? Cecil’s number one intern—only intern—curtesy of nepotism, ha! There is something tickling me about Mark taking the Robin Route/Role for the Teen Team in terms of having no powers, just insane skills, BUT there’s something way more delicious about intern Mark when s1e01 happens and Mark tries snooping around to find out the truth about what happened to his Dad.
I wonder if, with Mark having a whole another father, if they’re more or less distant relationship, depending on WHEN Nolan entered Mark’s life? Like if Debbie met Nolan later for this, or just for fun, they dated once, separated (Mark being born during then), then they happened to stumble into each others lives again and Mark’s already been born, anywhere from tween to teenager so there’s a gap in how close they are. I feel like one important aspect of the whole Family Drama is how close they’re supposed to be, a functional, loving family turned upside down? So I wonder what more distance does. I wonder how Nolan copes when his family is entirely human and he can’t project onto Mark.
I love thinking about these, omg.
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u know what i've been thinking about. how the economy expects you to be, right now, at a job you've been at and consistently getting raises in for like, ten years. it's almost like the implication is "well yeah, you'll be able to live off this job in three, five, ten years if you stick with it and grow in the company" which is all fine and dandy, but i kind of need to live right now
#the queen of trash has spoken#rewrote this post six times and it turned into an essay both times and i don't really need it to lol#also thinking about the graphic i saw this morning that said the average spending power of $100 here is $41 compared to the national averag#which i guess? min wage is just over $16 here. but uhhhhhhhh i think my city is one of the most expensive in the state as far as cost of#living goes (not hard since we're the second largest city in a state of three decent sized cities and mostly large towns)#and its just crazy bc i look at my coworkers some of whom haven't been there much longer than me#who have kids and a house and stuff#and i realize oh. their husbands are engineers or lawyers. plus they're probably making more than me because they're team leads or managers#or have been there longer. meanwhile my 25 year old ass is making $20 an hour and my boyfriend is making $18 an hour#both doing highly-specialized work#and like. the idea that in ten years if i last that long both in the company and in this mortal coil#THEN i'll be making a living wage (in today's money)#is like. so wack! considering the fact that people really aren't staying in jobs for very long for various reasons#and for some positions the only way to get a raise is to move to a whole new company#it's just crazy! the fact that a 25 year old with a bachelor's degree can't even afford a fucking APARTMENT.#like everyone should be able to have housing obvs and the obvious solution to this is a universal basic income#but the fact that my experiencce in the economy is so different from my brothers (who is seven years older than me) and COMPLETELY#unrecognizable to that of my parents when they were my age. like i know billionaires are totally disconnected from reality#but in what universe is this a successful economy? /rq i know the answer i promise
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everybody who went to a private catholic school name the craziest personal belief an instructor lectured the class on.
i'll go first: mentally disabled people are free of original sin, just like animals, so they get a free pass to heaven
#bonus points if the lecture was not-so-subtly referencing you specifically#ye i was the only super obviously autistic kid in my class since we did not have special ed classes or accommodations of any kind#and yes this teacher did seem to believe that i fell into the category of 'mentally disabled people who are like animals'#oddly enough this kind of made me her favorite student#she was really big on infantilizing ppl who were a certain level of mentally disabled#and yeah i guess dehumanizing too#except like how people says 'all doggos are good boys'#and even if a dog bites someone you can't like claim that dogs know the difference between good or evil#so it's not like...a fucking sin or something#so yeah she did openly express this stuff in class#i can't remember her explanation for mentally disabled ppl being free of original sin#but it was like tied in with the whole 'tree of knowledge' thing#and how not having that knowledge/sin is what makes us like innocent and dumb#got compared to a dog and also a lamb. not directly. like she did not call me out by name#but the entire class was super uncomfy because it was really obvious she was indirectly talking about me#at the time i was also like 'huh that explains some of her behavior around me'#and also thought it was hilarious that i got a free pass to heaven in her mind#also thought it was funny that she thought i was mentally disabled#because at this point i just thought i was a deeply weird person being mistaken for a mentally disabled person#but uh nope. i was like. really autistic. like lots of classic negative shit too like biting other kids and self-harmful stims and stuff
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"I wish I wasn't living in a verse of 'We Didn't Start the Fire' every week"
That's.... that's literally the song though?
#am i the only one who finds that post weird?#news travels faster and wider now#but we're not really living in more special times than the timeframe the song was limited to#are people running into the problem of blanket thinking of the past as being ''worse'' than the present?#are they scared to relate to a song from decades ago because it means acknowledging the present isn't some magic superior time?#i guess it is scary to think that things aren't much better than they were decades ago#but i think it's also... comforting in a way to find that people were so similar and the world's always been crazy#because it means it's possible to make it through the craziness#it means the goodness in the world and in society always survives#doomers will be blocked don't even start with me
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I will have to completely disagree with this stance..especially since the criticisms that the Reddit OP has of bg3 (while are legitimate for that game) do not even apply to Veilguard. (Warning this is gonna be long)
The complex politics start as soon as you arrive at the grove, and continue to build until Act 3. The ability to completely flesh some out and the conclusion to most of them were cut, but they were still in the game. The standoff between the tieflings and the druids, the political movement and possible rebellion within the githyanki, the fight for power between the chosen 3..and much more. This all existed, whether it was done well or not is irrelevant. Veilguard doesn’t even have true impactful politics in the game, let alone complex ones.
"The characters all have good and bad endings" in BG3 ... Veilguard only has 1 and makes you the hero in the end. "There are good choices and evil choices, with not enough reasoning to do the evil ones" Once again, this is NOT EVEN AN OPTION IN VEILGUARD!!! You have one choice, one path, the one where you kill the evil elven gods and Solas gets trapped behind the veil. (whether you force/trick him to do so or get his ex to convince him is irrelevant, the conclusion is the same)
"Too character-driven with a weak main plot" is a criticism that fans who cope with and deny how bad Veilguard actually was use. In truth, all characters and plots were embarrassingly weak in this game. And they had to recon the entire past lore of all previous DA games for it to even exist. Veilguard's characters and plots at their best do not even hold a candle to BG3's at its worst.
"Rook doesn't feel special enough, but so does Tav/Durge, other characters could arguably do it better " And guess what, in BG3 you can PLAY those characters, and alter their personalities to your desires. You can play as every single companion as well as Tav and Durge. More importantly (unlike rook ) you can make Tav/Durge your own. You want them to be heroes/ someone who overcomes their darkness to become better, done. You want them to be completely psychotic and evil, done. You want them to be sarcastic little assholes, done. You want them to be money-focused and only do tasks for rewards and coins, done. You want them to be agents of chaos and tomfoolery, done. You want them to be religious and devoted, done. With rook, you're a marvel-humor sarcastic therapist hero. That's it, that's all you are given. You can headcanon other personality traits for your rook, but the game will never let you display them.
"Larian pandered to fans and changed characters' romances and story arcs, which made them weaker /less fleshed out" And yet it still made sense with the story and lore. The characters who were affected by this did not have a complete change of personality or goals to the extent of let us say, Solas, Mythal, Dorian, Maevaris, Scout Harding, The First Warden, Morgan, Varric ...etc. For fuck sake even Larian's treatment of Wyll and his story arc(it is one of the weakest in the game which could be argued is rooted in internal racism) is liquid gold compared to BioWare's blatant racism of Davrin and his entire story and death being about an animal.
Honestly, for me the only real criticism that Larian would have in regards to remaking DA 4, is that they would probably not honor/bring back fans' previous world states (the keep). They would take what they wanted and make a new cannon, which a lot of people would be upset about. And the fact that they treated devs poorly and made them do long crunch hours during development.
Reddit is hit-or-miss but when it hits, it fucking HITS.
#larian critical#bg3 critical#veilguard critical#datv critical#bg3#dragon age critical#bioware critical
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disordered eating talk in the tags
#disordered eating cw#so like i did a stupid and took my meds this morning without eating breakfast and about mid morning#i had too much water and got super nauseous and had to throw up#and i realized that i still have a weird THING around purging#i don't feel like throwing up is an experience that should engender a sense of comfort in a person but it does in me#like i didn't even have anything in my stomach it's not like i had binged or whatever#but just the purgative act in itself feels GOOD to me#like a relief#kind of brings to mind how in my most stressful/mental breakdown-y times or during panic attacks all that's ever clear in my mind#is a desire to throw up. to just get this horrible feeling i can't process out of me#and i think it kinda speaks to how much food and eating or not eating or *purging* was how i found control and a sense of stability#having ednos is irritating bc it basically means you did a little of everything and none of those individual things ever got really dramatic#so it wasn't exactly noticeable but it all adds up into a pattern of behavior around food that's just deeply dysfunctional#and getting people to take it seriously is really difficult bc so many of those behaviors are normalized#but all those little behaviors were how i took back control. i would spite the people around me who policed my body by binging#i would try to control how i felt about myself (and how other people saw me and treated me) by restricting#and when i felt out of control i would take it back and reground by purging#so even now if im stressed out (which i am lately) it feels comforting and grounding to purge#even if im not doing it on purpose#which is....fucked tbh. i guess on just a primal level it makes some sense bc that's how our bodies protect us from things we've ingested#that could potentially harm us. so of course there's some relief around it. but im not eating anything that will hurt me#it's all just shame and terror and feelings i can't express and wanting them OUT#thankfully it's not something ive ever done chronically bc the stigma against EDs in my house growing up was also high#and if i didn't throw up or totally starve myself it was just dieting right? i would only half starve myself#and i would only throw up here and there. as a treat. once or twice isn't an eting disorder surely?#i just really regret how much ''bad'' food i just ate and i want a do over. it's not disordered if it's just this one time#this is a special circumstance and I'm Different#goddddddddddddddd#what's wild too is i can look back on this stuff now and see it for what it was but to most people none of that behavior#would ping as a Real Disorder
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I gotta confess it is so much more fun talking to Sal as if he is a separate person like he wants and not a member of the system. He's super creative like. Its just fun.
#It was hard to understand because they were wrapping up a bunch of stuff kinda fast. and it seemed like they were introducing new#things too? The fight scenes were cool.#person with Delusional Disorder: so hear me out#playing a dangerous game#Were bonding over sailor moon#JK btw like dont worry. The delusions dont really work like that. You could say i guess that thats his personal delusion?#idk its kind alike a severity scale MOST if not all of us have the truman show delusion. to some degree in some form. the specifics very#and then certain alters have additional delusions.#there all pretty bizarre. like I think thats the category you could put pretty much all of them in#which is interesting#some of them are more whatever the one where you think people are after you is called#so technically we would be mixed type? but idk if we would even fall into the type-able like... because the way it interacts with our DID#at first i thought my therapist was totally bullshitting this but the longer im like. living alone away from family the more sense this#diagnosis makes?#esp cause last time i googled it there was like. no fucking info. jut the wiki page about how this disorder gets misdiagnosed in people who#are part of grand conspiracies and how when thats not the case theyre basically just doing it to them selves :/#but i guess theres more research now? or something because now theres like medical articles!! and they make way more sense and actually#align with what we experience so thats super cool#its still kinda like. Huh??? but i guess it runs in families and i can totally think of several family members who i think have this#I also had drug induced psychosis i think. so- interesting how my therapist was able to parse that. i should text him.#omg yeah so apparently Sal (or specifically one of his alters) has seen just the end and ive seen just the beginning!!#i know thats so silly and like. Too Perfect. kind of thing but its fun!!!!! He said it was confusing and he liked it but it took him a#couple watches to know what was going on.#he actually didnt know what season he had seen (other than it definitely wasnt the first one lol) so i read through the ep titles until#he reconized them. he stilll didnt reconize them really but like half way through the last season (I went out of order) he was like#“this sounds sorta right. there was a lot of space fighting and stuff”#he had to think about it for a minute because i guess he just hadnt consider that that was the end#he was relieved to hear that theres specials and stuff after#but maybe hes lying 0-0 thats always interesting !!!!#syst
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Confessions Series - Part 2: Description [Genshin Impact Male Characters]
In a nutshell: He asks if you have your eyes set on someone. You start describing HIS features and watch for his reaction. (Hint: He likes you too)
Other works in this series: (Part 1 - Overheard)
Warnings: The usual, haven't written in a while, please forgive mistakes, bit of angst in Diluc (couldn't help it), I am a sleep deprived mother, some profanity, for some reason did not feel like writing Zhongli though he's one of my faves.
Characters: Aether, Albedo, Alhaitham, Ayato, Baizhu, Bennett, Chongyun, Cyno, Dainsleif, Diluc, Gaming, Heizou, Itto, Kaeya, Lyney, Neuvillette, Scaramouche, Tartaglia, Wriothesley, Xiao, gn!reader
Personal Favourites: Diluc, Wriothesley
Aether
"Yeah, I do," you start. "He's very selfless...He's always running around helping other people,"
Aether nods, intense gaze in his eyes while listening.
"Hmm...He has...a partner. Like a companion he always travels with..."
Aether's brows start to furrow and his head tilts the slightest bit. Paimon flying next to him has no clue who it is whatsoever.
"He's not originally from Teyvat...He's on a journey, you see..." this is where you start getting nervous
You see it click in Aether's head slowly, and his eyes start to widen the slightest bit
"Hey, that sounds an awful lot like you, traveller! Why have we never met this person before, Y/N?" Paimon asks and you only smile.
"P-Paimon," Aether glances at her and then back to you. It's silent for a moment. Paimon is super confused.
But Aether being Aether didn't want to get the wrong idea and racks up the courage to ask you one last question. "He's on a journey...to look for his twin sister?"
You smile the brightest smile you've ever given him. "Correct!"
"Ah...Well..." Aether starts to feel the heat on his cheeks. "That's..." he doesn't say anything else for a few seconds. "Don't get me wrong, I'm just...I'm happy!"
Is basically flustered when he realizes you've technically just confessed to him.
Albedo
"Simply put, I think he's dedicated to his craft," You shrug and smile
"...An admirable trait," he responds.
"He's frequently in Dragonspine. He spends a bit of time in his lab there," you decide to just go straight for the obvious.
Albedo pauses. "I...see..." Turns to you with a small smile "I wasn't aware that you were that fond of me,"
"Now you know," you simply say and try to play it off with a wave of your hand.
He chuckles under his breath and strides over to you while saying. "Well then, I suppose it's my turn to talk about the person I've set my eyes on,"
Proceeds to describe you accurately, down to your likes and dislikes. In his eyes, you seem like something so precious and you can't help but feel a bit embarrassed.
Alhaitham
"Hmm... Sort of," you explain. "He's a little...hard to reach,"
Alhaitham "...and you still pursue him?"
You laugh a bit "I'm hardly pursuing him, I'm just...observing. I like watching him, even though he has the most unreadable face I've seen,"
Alhaitham goes quiet for a moment. He catches on fast, he already has an idea but is cautious about what he says. "...I see," he doesn't ask anything else, but you continue to offer information.
"He likes reading. Really smart guy...but kind of no nonsense type. Very straight to the point," You begin to feel a little nervous so you pretend to read your own book with a small shrug.
The silence is deafening.
"I suspect that type of person will be hard to put up with," he suddenly says aloud and you chuckle in response.
"Possibly, but he seems to be putting up with me too...I guess?"
He suddenly closes his book and leans forward to pry the one in your hands away. He locks his gaze with you. "...'Putting up' is hardly the word I would use." his lips twitch the slightest bit before continuing. "He has little to no patience for other people...so if he keeps you around...perhaps it signals something else,"
"Something else...As in, I'm special?"
Again he quiets for a moment, before he stands up, chair scraping the floor. "...Precisely," he turns to start walking out of the library, waving a hand behind him. "I'll pick you up in the morning tomorrow,"
Ayato
"I do, but he's a very busy sort of man,"
Ayato "Is that so?" he pours tea for you.
"Quite. He's also a very important person,"
He hums and watches the billowing steam from the tea. "It sounds as if I might know this person," but he genuinely doesn't know it's him, he just thinks its another noble.
"...You most definitely know him. He has a sister. Lovely girl." This is where you avert your gaze from him in fear of him instantly connecting the dots.
He talks in pauses "A...sister..." His mind is starting to make connections but he can't be quite sure yet. So he prods further. "...Does she happen to have a vision?"
"A cryo vision holder, yes," you're biting the inside of your lip at this point. There's a moment of silence before you hear Ayato laughing rather gleefully, like he was amused by a story.
"I see." he ends with a chuckle. "I apologize for being so busy, Y/N," he smiles at you "I promise I'll do my best to arrange my priorities in order to spend more time with you,"
Baizhu
"He takes his job too seriously and can be quite reckless...Sometimes he even puts himself in danger,"
Changsheng catches on immediately. The snake had already known for a while. Baizhu was just being dense. "Oh here we go," the snake half whines.
Baizhu gives it a weird look before turning his attention back to you. "That does sound reckless,"
"I've told him a couple of times to think about himself too...but I guess he's just really passionate about his job,"
Baizhu sort of shrugs, "What IS his job?"
"...Well for starters he owns a pharmacy around town,"
To Baizhu the realization hits all too slowly. It's not that he was slow or dense, but he was having a hard time believing that it was him you were talking about, specially when you hadn't said it outfront.
"...You do realize I'm the only one who owns a pharmacy around town?" he asks, eyes piercing through you and awaiting your answer.
Changsheng is the one who answers for you. "Yes you ridiculous doctor, Y/N's pertaining to you!"
It's the first time you've seen him blush and he turns his head away when he does so. "I-I see, well...that's rather, unexpected...but not unwelcome,"
Clears his throat "Just give me a moment"
Changsheng would roll its eyes if it could.
Bennett
"Has a lot of energy...Sometimes I wonder where he gets all of it. I really like him for that though."
Deflates as soon as you start talking about your "crush". What kind of answer was he expecting anyway? That you had eyes for him?
"He has a bit of a...problem when it comes to luck," you continue
Bennett stops, you look at him and you can practically see the gears in his head starting to turn a little faster.
"Y-Y/N? Are you talking about..." then the gears suddenly stop. "Oh what am I saying, it can't be. Ahahaha! Let's go!" starts walking again as if nothing happened
Your jaw drops and you're forced to just DIRECTLY tell him you're talking about him.
"...Oh...Oh! F-For real?! Oh...Sorry... I just thought... there's no way! B-But, I'm really glad! Really!"
Chongyun
"Hmm...He's a little shy...but he's very responsible,"
Chongyun stares at you intently and nods as if taking notes.
"He doesn't like spicy stuff,"
Chongyun nods twice, eagerly.
"He's very dedicated in learning about thaumaturgy,"
Chongyun blanks out, brows furrow but still nods. Slowly.
"He's really good with a claymore too!"
Chongyun stops and stares at you, you see a hint of red gracing his cheeks "Y/N...You can't possibly be...talking about... m-m-m-"
Can't seem to say it, so you outright say that it is, in fact, him.
Combusts into a tomato red
Cyno
"How do I say this...He's a pretty strict guy." The two of you are playing Invokation TCG during this convo.
"Mmhmm..." Cyno is focused on his cards, frankly he doesn't give a craps ass who you're into. He didn't even know why he asked, he just dug himself a hole.
"...but he really only takes his work seriously. It's his job to be serious, I guess. I think that's what Matras need to do," he finished his turn and its yours now, though he's still studying his cards intently. Until you get to the Matra part.
"He's a Matra?" You rarely see a surprised face on Cyno so you focus your gaze on him. "Which one?" He further asks. Honestly he looks about to murder someone.
You blank out a bit at how intense his stare was, "Well...You know. That one, the one who's really into Invokation TCG,"
He immediately follows up without missing a beat "I don't know anyone else who's into--" then it clicks.
It was so damn silent for a good 10 seconds. You clear your throat, tear your eyes off him "Um, it's your turn,"
STILL doesn't budge until he finally goes back to his cards with a whisper, you can't really tell but he looks slightly bashful and you can barely, BARELY hear him "...If I win then we go on a date,"
"Okay, and if you lose?"
Cyno "...I'm not gunna lose,"
"See, I told you he's a really serious guy,"
Dainsleif
"I think he's a very dedicated person," you get lost in thought a little, thinking about him. "Whenever I look at him...Sometimes I feel as if there's a certain sadness in him... Perhaps he blames himself for not being able to protect his nation,"
He IMMEDIATELY knows. And he knows that you hurt for him too. How could he not?
"He searches for answers... I don't know for how long, I suppose a long, long time," you close your eyes, imagining how long he must have been wandering Teyvat.
You only open your eyes when you feel a hand brush against yours. He's looking straight at you, neither happy nor sad. "...You don't have to feel that way, for my circumstances,"
The brush against your hand disappears and reappears next to your cheek, his fingers gently resting on it "...Knowing that you feel that way, has taken away some of the burden that I shoulder,"
His gaze suddenly hardens and his voice drops to a whisper, "But please, just don't end up in the same way as everyone else,"
Diluc (I don't know why I end up writing a whole novel for this guy. I guess he's my OG favourite)
You pause for a moment, wondering how to describe Diluc. "...Sometimes... I feel as if I know a lot about him and yet... he's still far off in the distance,"
Diluc, rifling through paperwork, doesn't even look at you. "...That tells me nothing about him," there's a bit of bite in his statement.
You sigh a little, "I mean, simply said he's a hardworking man. He always has Mondstadt's best interests in mind...but he prefers to work alone,"
He's silent, but you can still hear the paper shuffling.
"....but people love him. They care for him. I suppose I understand why he keeps a distance but..." at this point you don't even realize that you're just rambling and staring into space. Sort of in a daze of thinking out loud. "...isn't it lonely? ...I suppose I shouldn't assume how he feels. Maybe he's fine with it...I just wonder how long till he sees us..." there's silence, no ruffle of papers, you're still just staring at the bookshelf and you continue in a monotone voice. "...or sees me,"
You blink, and all of a sudden its as if a magic spell is cast on you and you wake up to the reality that you've been rambling about him. You sit up straight "Oh," then turn to him with a careful smile. You don't think he knows what or who you're talking about anyway. "I better get going," you stand, "Jean must be waiting for me."
You leave, and he doesn't stop you.
You don't really think anything of it, feeling as if your whole monologue was very vague...but to your surprise he knocks at your door in the evening, there's a bit of rain falling.
"Diluc? You're drenche--"
"I see you,"
The determination in his voice lulls you to keep quiet and only stare up at him, wondering if he had more to say, but instead of saying something, he leans in, wrapping his arms around you and resting his forehead on your shoulder, as if he had been defeated.
You only welcome his embrace, and, for the first time in a long time. Diluc finally feels like he's home.
Gaming
"Passion!" You nod your head as you say it. "He knows what he wants to do and is incredibly dedicated to it!"
Gaming looks surprised, has no idea you're talking about him. "Huh! That's really cool!" He thinks he's the total opposite. "Wish I could be as dedicated as him."
You kind of laugh out loud and he raises his eyebrows and tilts his head. "What?"
"Gosh you really sell yourself short," you shake your head "Anyway, this guy, right, he kinda works two jobs," you put out your hand to count one and two "One, for the Secure Transport Agency and two, he's in a Wushou Troupe,"
Gaming instantly straightens his back and looks at you wide-eyed. You figure you had to be direct when it came to him otherwise he'd never get it with how modest he was.
"...You're...talking about...me?" You smile at him sympathetically.
"You know, Gaming, I wish you saw yourself the way others saw you. You're a great person,"
Big smile, but legit looks like he's about to cry. "Between the two of us? I think you're greater Y/N,"
Heizou
"...Honestly he's kind of a flirt," you raise your eyebrows at the fact and kind of question yourself why you like this kind of person. "Makes me wonder if he does that to everyone, you know?"
Heizou hums and puts his hand under his chin in a "thinking position"
"That's not enough evidence to go by. Perhaps we can investigate this guy together to see if he's worthy,"
You look at him, pursing your lips while musing and giving him a suspicious look. You're not sure if he's figured it out.
He's got no idea. I mean, it was a pretty general description. "Any distinguishing features?" he asks.
You look at him in a deadpan manner. "Red hair, I guess. And moles under his eyes,"
He looks back at you with a matching blank face.
Then breaks into a wide, close eyed grin. "I see! From experience, that person is truly trustworthy,"
You sigh a little, "Is he though?"
He chuckles heartily. "I promise you he is," offers you his hand with a genuine smile. "Let me show you,"
Itto
"Ummm... big, tall, strong looking guy. Intimidating at first look but he's actually a dork," you explain.
Itto crosses his arms above his chest with an unamused face. "Tch! No way! Ain't no one taller than me in Inazuma!" Then he looks smug again. "Anyway, keep goin'. What else?" Only asked you because he wants to see what your "type" is.
"...Popular? Nah... Infamous is the word, I think. He kinda gets into a lot of trouble,"
Itto raises a brow "You serious? Whaddyou want with someone like that?" as if he wasn't a troublemaker himself.
"I mean... He also loves life and somehow always sees the good side of things."
Itto "Eh... guess that's a good thing..." folds his arms behind his head and huffs.
This guy is never gunna get it so you drop more obvious hints. "He's an oni who has his own gang."
For a split second he looked like he was going to get it, and then... "WHAT?! There's another oni who wants to challenge the Arataki Gang?"
"That's not what I--"
punches his fist onto his palm "Lead the way Y/N, let me at 'em!"
"I'm talking about you!"
"Huh?"
"Itto, there's no other oni around town!" leave it to him to make you exasperated.
He quiets for a few seconds. "...But Y/N..."
You expectantly stare at him, curious what he was going to say about your confession.
"...Did you just call me a dork?"
Of course that's what he picks up on.
When he finally processes it though, he's stoked and on an all time high.
Kaeya
"...good at talking to people, and he knows it... Exudes charisma like he breathes air," You're saying this with a glare.
He chuckles and rests his head on his fist. "Why, pray tell, do you look angry when saying that?"
"Not angry..." you mumble under your breath, eyes trailing away from him. "Just... probably a lot of people like him,"
"And you don't like that?" He smirks. He totally knows.
"...No...Well...I'm okay with it... It's just... I think he's so much more than what he shows to others,"
That, he wasn't expecting. He actually feels genuinely touched.
"Sure he jokes around a lot...Is good at making people feel comfortable...but he's also kind...and you can always count on him," there's a faraway gaze in your eyes now, a small smile on your face. "To me, he's...a safe space."
Kaeya's smile drops. It looks like he's unhappy and you think that maybe you've made a mistake. Still...there's no way he knows that it's him, right? It was kinda vague...
You're about to stand and excuse yourself but he catches your wrist easily. "...You know..." he starts, meeting you eye to eye. He looks at you as if he's looking into your soul, his eyes the gentlest you've seen them.
"You make it so hard, not to fall deeper in love with you,"
Lyney (I have no idea how this ended up so dramatic)
"He isn't exactly a trickster...but he has a lot of tricks up his sleeve,"
Lyney "Oh?" Raises an eyebrow. Something kind of clicks in him, but he shakes it off. "The good kind or the bad kind?"
You stall a little, thinking of the answer, knowing that he's Fatui. "The...good...kind,"
"You don't sound very sure," he gives you a lopsided smile.
"It's complicated," you admit. "Regardless of the circumstances though, I think he's a great magician,"
You watch his face turn into surprise quite quickly, but he still looks and feels unsure of himself. "Oh, perhaps...I can learn a thing or two from him?"
Your smile turns forced and hard. He can't be serious? He STILL doesn't know, or...what?
"I...Well..." You don't know what to say next, but he seems to get the idea.
"Sorry, have I put you in a hard place? Ahaha..." Scratches the back of his head. "My apologies, I was just curious,"
This, for some reason, really puts you off and you feel as if you've been rejected, even though you technically had not outright told him that you're talking about him.
It seems silly for you to get upset, but you are. So you stand, and make a request of him. "Can we... just pretend this conversation didn't happen?" and you give him some sort of excuse that you need to run an errand or something, and you're off, leaving him feeling...guilty. But he doesn't know why. Or does he?
Lyney would look like the type of person who would be confident about himself. But, really, as a magician, he had to be 1000% sure about something before he went ahead with it, and so...that's where his doubt stemmed from.
Lynnette is really the one who knocks some sense into him. "...and you...let Y/N leave?" after hearing the story from him.
"Oh, Lyney... Regardless of what Y/N feels... For you, next to Freminet and I, is there someone else that you love dearly?"
That's how he ends up at your doorstep. Though you've seen his disappearing rose trick hundreds of times, he was the most sincere at that moment, when he says sorry that he didn't get the hint and to give him a chance.
Neuvillette
"Serious person. He seems to put his work first, above all else," you say. "I respect him a lot for that,"
Neuvillette is interested in what you say, but doesn't know at all that it's him. "He does sound quite respectable," he says while looking through some files.
"A long time ago he said that he feels like he's an outsider...but really I feel like there isn't anyone who knows Fontaine the way that he does,"
Neuvillette, moves the file he was reading downwards, just to look at you questioningly. "He's from Fontaine?" this was surprising to him.
"Well...he currently resides in Fontaine, yes," you nod.
"Ah," he answered curtly. "And I have never met him?" he asks.
"...He's very busy." you bite your lip, about to say something and you know that the next sentence is the point of no return. "He's the Iudex...so it's hard to catch him,"
You swear you can hear your heart hammering in your chest.
You see him put his files down and just stare at you with a sort of...unsure look.
His shoulders relax, he wasn't even aware he had been tense that whole time. "That... must have taken a lot of consideration and courage to say," he clears his throat.
You only nod your head slowly, moving your gaze away from him with an awkward smile. Hand absentmindedly grabbing a book and flipping through the pages...you had no idea what you were doing out of nervousness.
"I apologize...I'm unfamiliar with what to do in these kinds of situations... However," he pauses and seems to think carefully about what he was going to say next. "Please don't take it as a rejection. I'd be honored to navigate this with you, if you would so graciously have me,"
Scaramouche
"He's an asshole," you bite back a laugh.
He instantly knows.
"Actually he acts all tough only to give in to his inner-kind-of-agreeable-personality,"
He snorts
"What? Am I wrong?" you challenge him. You KNOW that he knows. The two of you have been hovering around each other for a while, and there's a certain closeness between the two of you. Though that line was never crossed.
He doesn't answer you back but prods you more. "Is that all? You like that he's an asshole? Are you some type of masochist?"
You almost laugh. "No, you moron. I'm saying he has a weird way of showing he cares. He's always biting my head about not being careful enough. But if he really didn't care he wouldn't be screaming at me, you know what I mean?"
Scaramouche grumbles something under his breath and crosses his arms, turning away from you.
"Say that again?" You ask, not hearing what he said.
"...I said, you're not as stupid as I thought you were," shrugs his concealed embarrassment off and turns back to you all nonchalant again. "Anyway, stop yapping and get going, we got things to do,"
Snatches your hand and starts pulling you to walk with him.
Tartaglia (I feel like this is ridiculously short but I also feel like Tartaglia would have known a LONG time ago if the two of you had the feels for each other)
"Oh man...Probably the most reckless man I know,"
Also knows. Instantly. But shuts his mouth just so he can listen to you talk about him, but it gets deep real quick.
"In my opinion he's a handsome guy. Real charming," you smirk the tiniest bit. "but I don't know if I can keep up with him, honestly. It's a little hard not knowing when he's going to come back...or if he's even gunna come back at all,"
You weren't going to hide the fact that you were scared shitless he didn't return from Fontaine for ages. You legitimately thought he had died.
Tartaglia stops you there, by suddenly cradling your cheek. "Y/N," he's wearing a pained expression. "I'm sorry,"
"Don't be, it's your job, right?" You reassure him, and shrug.
He sighs "Yes, but I'll promise this to you as I've promised my family," he smiles, the most confident smile you've seen on him. Even more confident than when he wields his blades. "I'll come back to you, I always will,"
Wriothesley
"Er... How do I say this... He kind of has some... big boss energy?"
"Oh?" he sips at his tea, glancing at you while he looks at today's paper. "So he's a bigshot?" he asks curiously.
"Somewhat, yes. Intimidating at first look, but...he just has a great sense of responsibility," you pick at the selection of cakes and cookies he has.
"Huh," he lets out in a quick huff. In the deepest, DEEPEST parts of his mind there is a NANOSECOND that he thinks its him but it gets erased so quickly he's not even sure that he had thought about it.
"Sounds like a good person... Any interesting, weird quirks?" he grins as he says this, yet again glancing at your expression.
Your lips tremble a bit at what you're about to say, because you're SURE he was going to get it once you say it. You gulp and feel the hairs at the back of your neck stand before you say out loud "He likes tea. I kind of wonder if it's an addiction," you can't meet his eyes.
He's looking at the paper he's reading but nothing.registers.in.his.brain.its.like.it.stopped.working.
You shift in the uncomfortable silence but he calmly folds up the newspaper and places it on his table. "...I'm inclined to ask, because it would be embarrassing if I got the wrong idea,"
"Mmhmm," you pop a cookie in your mouth to distract yourself.
"By any chance, are you...talking about me?"
"Mm," you nod your head, still not looking at him and glue your eyes on the cookies instead, out of embarrassment.
Suddenly chuckles. You brave a peek at him, now covering his eyes with a single hand, head tipped back to rest on his chair.
You're not sure if that's a good or bad thing.
"Sorry, no, it's just... I didn't think it would happen this way." Visibly takes in a big breath and sighs it out slowly. Seems to have regained his composure and is back to his confident self, smiling at you. "Thanks Y/N, I... don't think it's much of a secret that I enjoy your company too. I'm just a little embarrassed that you beat me to it...some big boss energy huh?"
Xiao
"...He takes on everything by himself. I worry about him," You look at the stars as you say this. Xiao doesn't say anything.
"But I'm glad that he's opening up a lot more now. It's great to see him among friends,"
Xiao has a feeling at this point, that its him you're talking about, but he still doesn't say anything and keeps his gaze in front of him rather than on you.
"Yes, the road in front of him is long but...he's also already come a long way," you sigh a little "The time of Rex Lapis has long gone, but he still sticks to his principles. I think his dedication is part of what I like about him,"
This is when he turns to you, blank look on his face, contemplating on what to do. When you turn to meet his gaze, its then that he decides to bridge the gap between the two of you, shoulder to shoulder, leaning in sideways to catch your lips in a chaste and rather shy kiss.
"You should give a bit of credit to yourself, for putting up with me all these years, Y/N,"
End!
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Hello! I would like to make a request about Dae-Ho, a character I love. I would like the story to show how Dae-Ho and the reader develop a special connection during the games, despite being on opposite sides. She is part of Thanos' team, but they still interact frequently. On one of those nights, they kiss and promise to get to know each other better once it's all over. However, that promise is not fulfilled because she dies in the carousel game.
I hope this story fits the bill. Happy holidays! <3
Anything Is Possible?
KANG DAE-HO X READER
Summary- You are number 230's, rapper Choi Su-bong, sister. Just because you are on 'Thanos Team', does that mean you can Dae-Ho cant get together? Will you survive long enough?
Warnings- Squid Games, Angst, mentions of blood, murder, and death
A/N- I combined this ask with another anon request, "badass reader and daeho! maybe she is related to 100 and that's why the romance is kind of forbidden but she doesn't agree with his actions and thinks daeho is very cute. I would love a first kiss between the two, which she initiated and he was all embarrassed but really excited" I hope y'all don't mind, they were very similar!
Word Count- 4,605
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d59109ce1cbc88868c1dea020bb55139/cf5fdfadf9dc85d8-b5/s540x810/973c0a593176b1d9571df6ce450c86e905c1ca15.webp)
"What is your problem!" You found yourself yelling at your brother. While this was not uncommon, the situation surely was. Thanos the rapper, or just known as Choi Su-bong to you, had pushed several people down on purpose. This killed them in the Red light, Green light game.
"You killed them!" You continued, though he did not seem to care.
"Look, as far as 'The Thanos' is concerned, each body means more cash for MOI!" He spoke, uncaring.
"Oh, and if it was me, would you let me get shot!" You crossed your arms, eyeing him up and down.
He looked around, checking for any guards. He then slipped out his cross form under his shirt. You knew he had some kind of drug in there.
"Look, if it will shut you up, you can have one. But keep your mouth closed!" He ushered his cross in your direction. You rolled your eyes.
"I'd like to at least be aware of my surrounding in a death defying game!" "Shhh, Shhhh!" His face scrunched up as he looked at you, offended. He thought someone might have been drawn to your choice words.
You scoffed and walked off, sitting on the edge of a bed to catch a train of thought.
With a puff, you pressed your head into your hands. Could you really go on like this? Risking your life? Then it hit you, your life was over either way. Loan sharks were bound to kill you the second you left... Might as well go out with a bang?
The gruesome thought lingered until you felt the bed sink next to you.
"Thanos, I don't want to-" You looked up to not see your brother. Instead a man with a '388' on his jacket.
"Well I'm not sure who 'Thanos' is, but are you doing okay?" He looked genuinely concerned.
You started at him for a second, "Like fifty people just died..."
He faltered, "W-well yeah... Obviously you aren't okay... I just, I saw you arguing with that guy... The one with purple hair." You sigh again at his response. Well, this might be the last conversation you ever have. Why not be an open book!
"That's my brother. He thinks since he got one hit song, he can boss anyone around." You again rolled your eyes at the thought of him.
"Oh... I see. I-I have three older sisters, I know how it can get." He said, trying to offer you some sort of condolence.
You gave a side smile at him, appreciative of his efforts. "Thanks... What got you into these games?" You figured there's no reason for 'proper exchanges.' What was the point anymore?
He seemed ashamed at the question. "Sorry, if it makes you feel any better- I'm about 30 million won in debt. Some online crypto coin my brother swindled me into. Lost big time." You explained.
He shook his head, "No, no, its fine. See, I was a marine. Couldn't find a job after I got out. Guess I just got carried away with the wrong people... Got into some bad loans."
You gave a sympathetic face. "That sucks..." He just nodded sheepishly.
A silence fell between you two, but it wasn't awkward or annoying. It just...was.
"Well, uh, which are you going to vote?" He asked like it had been on the tip of his tongue all day.
As the Guards had told us earlier, we would get a chance to vote before the next game. Stay or Go.
"My brother seems pretty adamant on staying... And I honestly don't think it would be smart to piss him off anymore. He's got me in his little clique already." You didn't really know which one you would have chosen if the vote was anonymous.
He nodded in understanding. "I mean, I don't have a groupie or anything. But, you could stick with me if you wanted."
Your heart fluttered. Looking up at him, you seemed to just notice how handsome he was... Then reality hit.
"I deeply appreciate that... But I think you might have better odds without me. Choi- uh Thanos, would probably do something to you... I don't really want to risk it, I'm sorry." You knew that you really did want to be on his team, but you also knew how your brother was.
He had a slight look of defeat on his face, "I get it. I feel confident about the next game. I mean, if they're all children games, how hard can it be? I'll vote the same as you."
You agreed, "Then, maybe I can talk to Thanos? See if he wants another member?" You smiled at him.
He opened his mouth to speak, happily, but the two of you were interrupted when the pink guards came back in. Letting everyone know it was time to vote.
"See ya on the other side." You said, standing up to rejoin Thanos. Plus his newly acquired group of 3.
"Yes ma'am!" He responded, giving a small salute. You just laughed as you glanced at him a last time.
------------------------------------------
"Are you crazy!" Thanos whisper-yelled at you, turning the two of you away from the group. "Are you tryna embarrass me in front of my boys!" He scolded you like a child. His arms and shoulders going up.
"It's not that big of a deal, he was a marine, he could be good for us." Thanos just "tsked' in response.
"No. We are already perfecto. No more room." He said as-a-matter-of-fact. His arms making an 'X.'
You turned and looked at the two men staring at you. "Thanos, there are four of us in total. What if the next game is five players!"
"Huh, and what if its four! Then I'd be pushing YOU out, Cause of ya mouth." He made faces at you, then laughed loudly. "I'm just joking sistah! I'd only do that if you really pissed me off.... We are sticking to four." His expression turned serious.
"Fine."
At a mere coincidence, you turned around and saw '388' staring at you. You mouthed a 'sorry' and shook your head. Signalling Thanos said 'no.'
He nodded, then smiled at you anyways. At that, you watched him walk over and sit with a group of 'X's.
------------------------------------------
The lights soon went out. You laid back in your bed, trying to get some kind of sleep. It was useless, especially when you heard a 'psst' right next to you.
You turned your head, playing cool, even though it did startle you a bit. "Shh, It's just me." The voice rang familiar, and when you squinted your eyes in the dark your made out number 388's face. He was on his knees, crouched down next to your bed.
"What are you doing!" You whispered at him, sitting up quickly. Thanos and his two members were just a bed away.
"Shhhh, I have something to tell you." He said, his hands were waving slightly, a nervous tick.
You eyed him, moving closer. "What?"
"One of the guys has played these before. He said he won the games...That he knows which one is next."
Your hands rise to rub sleep from your eyes, "Really? You think he's telling the truth?"
With a frantic nod he continues, "It was the guy who knew about the Red light, Green light. Number 456."
You looked down, "Why are you telling me this..." You questioned, unaware of any kind of unconditional kindness.
"I want you to survive, why else?" You locked eyes with him. They were honest and pure.
"Well, what's the next game?" You didn't know how to respond to such generosity. For all he knew you would stab him in the back. Not that you could bring yourself to, not after he snuck over to tell you.
"He said its Dalgona. Ya know, the game where you scratch out the candy shape?" You knew the game, having played it in your youth.
"Make sure you pick the Triangle. It's the easiest one." You nodded.
At that, a shuffle made both of you turn your head. Thanos moved in his sleep, rolling over. His eyes were closed, but he was now facing you.
"You better go, in case he wakes up." You warned, not wanting any drama.
His head shook in agreeance, he raised to walk off.
"Wait!" You whispered, he looked back. "What's your name?"
"Dae-Ho. Dae-ho Kang."
"Thank you, Dae-ho..." The corners of your face rose, almost grinning at yourself saying his name.
He gave a small wave of his hand, another salute. You suppressed a giggle, and laid back down. Sleep came easier this time...
------------------------------------------
"Welcome to your second game, this game will be played in teams. Please divide into teams of five in the next ten minutes."
You looked around, Dalgona was not a team game. Had Dae-Ho lied to you? No, why else would he sneak over in the middle of the night. It didn't make sense. Maybe 456 was lying?
"Should have listened to me, now we have to find another person." You remarked to your brother, smugly.
"Trust trust, my skeptic sister. Thanos has got this under control!" He spoke about himself, immediately levitating to the closest attractive women. You, once again, found yourself rolling your eyes.
"Señorita, excuse me?" You wanted to physically face palm at his attempt at a pickup line.
------------------------------------------
Quickly enough, time selection was up. Everyone was orderly sat in their groups. Conveniently, Dae-Ho and his group sat behind you.
"Dae-Ho." You called, moving to be in his range of sight.
"Ahh, hey!" He said, excitedly. His demeanor changing from skittish when he saw you.
"So, what happened to Dalgona?" You asked, not blaming him- just curious.
He gave an unsure face, equally as confused. "He said the games must not be the same. I'm sorry."
"What for?" You beamed, knowing it was not his fault.
He laughed, "I guess I don't know.."
You just shook your head humorously. "Which game are you going to do?"
"Uhmm, Gong-Gi... My sister's played it a lot, so I'm used to it."
"They've got me doing spinning top. I was never any good at Gong-Gi." You made a glance to Thanos, he was high out of his mind. You caught him slipping Nam-Gyu a pill. He didn't notice you talking to Dae-Ho.
"I wish you the best of luck!" He gave a quick bow of the head.
------------------------------------------
The game went smoothly enough. Though, it took much longer than Red light, Green light. Watching all of the teams go one at a time was excruciating.
A handful of words exchanged with Dae-Ho while waiting was calming, it grounded you. He had nothing to gain by helping you, he simply did. It was flattering.
You and Dae-Ho had figured out that his team was going last. It was nerve-wracking to think about him not making it. No one had ever effected you like this before...
Eventually your team went, suffering frequent verbal degration from Thanos and Nam-Gyu. Thankfully your team made it with 8 seconds to spare. Too close for your comfort.
The worst part came when you had to wait. You felt like you could hear a large clock ticking right by your ear.
Would Dae-Ho's team make it? You didn't doubt his Gong-Gi skills, but he was dependent on the skills of his team mates as well. It was terrifying to think they were shot with not enough time to complete the games.
You couldn't bare Thanos bantering, he complained about every survivor. It just made you more paranoid about Dae-Ho's possible death.
Trying to settle your mind, you stepped away from your group, preferring to sit by yourself on the edge on the steps. You picked at your nails, praying he would make it.
Minutes and minutes went by. No one had come out in a while. Was the game finished? Did they die?
Just as you were about to return to your brother hopeless, one last group appeared.
A gasp left you as you watched Dae-Ho's team emerge. You stood up, cheering with a handful of other players. Your hands were clasped gleefully In front of you.
Dae-Ho's gaze was fixed on you, he chuckled. His first raised in victory.
You gave him a salute back.
------------------------------------------
You managed to slip away from Thanos. He was too busy hitting on Se-Mi. You were grateful for her, it took some of the pressure and attention off of you. You had to remember to thank her later.
"Dae-Ho!" You called out, he turned around and stepped away from his group.
"You were amazing! You went 'Wooshhh' and got the top first try!" He was practically bouncing on his heels. He mimicked the process of spinning a top with his hands and body.
"Thank you, Thank you." You pretended like you were bowing to an applauding audience.
"How did Gong-Gi go?" You asked, antsy. He rubbed the back on his neck.
He grinned deep, "Would you believe me if I said I got it first try too?"
Your face lit up, "Really!"
"I swear it!" He placed a hand across his chest.
You gave a quick clap to him, "I knew you could do it!"
You felt like a schoolgirl again. Talking to Dae-Ho made you feel like a blushing bride. He was such a ray of light and hope for you.
"What do you think the next game is?" He questioned, taking a seat on a step by the large doors.
You thought for a second, "I don't know, Maybe some kind of mind game. Since the last two have been really physical."
He nodded, "Yeah, maybe, maybe. Thats smart thinking."
You joined him on the step facing him. While you were about to change the conversation, you overheard a few people talk about what they were voting next. It reminded you of the real life-or-death situation you were in.
"So, d'ya think you're going to change your vote?" You became more solemn.
"...Yeah, I just... The others have convinced me. I mean, truly, I shouldn't have voted 'stay' in the first place..." He looked down, almost as if he had disappointed you.
"Honestly, Dae-Ho... I want to leave too... But, but, what if I press 'leave', and we still have to continue the games. Then Thanos would be pissed, and deep down I need him. He's still my brother." You hated the fact, but you were scared of what Thanos would do.
Dae-Ho thought for a moment. He mumbled something you didn't quite catch. "What?" He stood up.
"I can protect you. Honest. With my life." Your breath hitched, you stood up as well.
You shook your head, a lump forming in your throat. "Oh Dae-Ho... That's just the thing. I can't have you risking your life. Not for me."
He gently lifted your hands into his. "You are worth risking my life for."
"Dae-Ho, you don't even know my name." Your voice quivered.
He nodded quick, "Then lets change that. What's your name." You bit your bottom lip before telling him.
"Now, I can defend you from Thanos. He won't do anything to do." He ended with your name, it sounded angelic coming from his mouth.
"I'm sorry... I just... can't." You let go of his hands, fully set on walking away. But, he stopped you. He grasped your shoulder.
"Please don't go. I'll stop talking about it, I swear." He pleaded. He truly just wanted to be with you, he was content with you.
And you were with him.
You closed your eyes, shook your head. You fought off any kind of objection. "Okay."
The two of you talked and talked, time ran past. You no longer seemed to worry about the games, just that you knew you wanted to stay with Dae-Ho.
Until, the large doors opened and the pink guards once again announced a vote.
You said a quick 'goodbye' to Dae-ho, hoping the games wouldn't continue. Even if you never saw him again, at least he would be alive.
------------------------------------------
Much to your dismay, the games would continue another round. The vote wasn't even close this time. It was almost relieving, knowing that your vote was not the determining factor.
Once again, the lights went out to signify the night. You noticed teams were huddling together for protection, taking shifts and keeping watch. It was getting more serious as each hour went by. You could not find rest, feeling extremely uneasy.
While you tried to find some sort of reassurance in Thanos, he was fast asleep. You decided to take your chance and go see Dae-Ho. Just as he had done for you.
You knew the general area where his group was, but couldn't make out specific people in the dark. Not from your distance.
You racked up the nerve to quietly shuffle over. Your socks helping to muffle any noise.
"Shh, someone is coming." You heard a man whisper, it was 456. You could see the large numbers next to the 'O' on his jacket.
"I-is Dae-Ho with you..." You ask, shakily.
"And what do you want with him?" A man next to 456 spoke, defensively.
"I- Hes my friend, I need to talk to him." You tried, fiddling with your fingers.
"Yeah, Sure he is. You're probably trying to get in and take one of us out, huh!" The man 390 rose, acting like he was ready to fight.
You stepped back, "No, really, I swear I'm not!"
You heard your name, a confused Dae-Ho crawled out from under a bed. "Dae-Ho, please tell them in not trying to kill any of you."
"What?" He was still weary from sleep, rubbing his eyes. Once he saw the position you and 390 were in, He quickly stepped between the two of you.
"No, No, she wouldn't do that. Really, whatever shes saying she's telling the truth." Dae-Ho came to your rescue.
"Can we talk Dae-Ho?" You stepped closer to him, both of your hands gently resting on his arm. He nodded rapidly, stepping away from his group.
The two of you found a cluster of abandoned beds, and sat on the floor between them
"Are you okay? Did someone hurt you?" He looked you over for any visible infliction's.
"No, no I'm fine..." You pulled your knees to your chest. "I just wanted to see you." You felt silly once it left your lips.
His face flushed beet red, you could even tell in the dark. His hair falling in his face made you reach a hand out and brush it back. "O-oh"
"You never told me what you think the next game is, Dae-Ho." You needed a distraction.
He shook his head, like he was getting some thoughts out. "I have no idea... I just hope its an easy one. Gi-Hun, uh 456, said that they've already played Tug-of-war, Marbles, and some kind of glass stepping game. So, uh, I would assume none of those would repeat."
"I'm glad I missed Tug-of-war... That would mean the number of survivors would be half..." You thought.
He changed the subject, beginning with your name. "What's wrong? I know you said you wanted to see me, but, I guess I don't understand why."
"Dae-Ho, I don't really know why either. I just, wanted to be with you. I feel safe with you. I feel like I'm alone anytime you walk away..." You blinked away a stray tear.
Dae-Ho was lost in thought, he had thought his feelings weren't reciprocated. Maybe they were after all?
He didn't have time to speak, because you have lounged yourself forward in a burst of confidence. You wrapped your arms around his neck, and pushed him to the floor. He was laid on his back with you on top of him, as you pressed a hard kiss to his lips.
His eyes widened, his body went rigid. When you pulled away to look at him, he stammered. "I-I, Uhm."
At his reaction you pulled away quickly, "I'm so sorry, I thought-"
"Can you please do that again." He was now giddy, a fat smile on his face. Excitement radiated out of him. "A-are you sure.. You seemed so..."
"No, no, you just caught me off guard, please, please kiss me again." He scrambled to a sit, hoping you would come closer again.
With a refound joy, you moved closer. This time you went slow, making sure to bask in the moment. You once again wrapped your arms around Dea-Ho's neck, pulling him in for a kiss.
"You're perfect.." He mumbled against your lips. Though, he felt something wet on his face. He pulled away, his eyes soft, "Whats wrong?"
You sniffled, "Promise me. Promise me, that after everything is over, that we will find each other." You asked, pressing your cheek against his.
"I swear it, I swear we will meet after the games." He leaned in for another kiss.
------------------------------------------
"Welcome to your third game. The game you will be playing is Mingle."
Okay, this one seemed safe. You had a large group, this can work. You tried to be positive, you had someone to look forward to after the game.
"Heyyy, we'll be mingling together. Doesn't that sound like so much fun?" Thanos went on, trying to hype everyone up. The only one who was just as high as him was Nam-Gyu. It worried you that he wasn't fully aware of his surroundings, but at least he wasn't on your tail about everything.
"Please step onto the center platform. When the game starts, the platform will begin to rotate, and you will hear a number. You must form groups of that size, go into the rooms, and close the door within 30 seconds."
You nodded, understanding the rules. Everyone gathered to the platform. You noticed groups staying together, huddling close.
While following Thanos, you passed Dae-Ho's group, you caught his eye and gave him a small salute. It seemed the two of you now had an inside joke.
"Let the game, begin."
At the jump and pull of the platform, you almost lost your balance. You reached a hand out and held onto your brother. He looked over at you, for a split second he actually seemed like your brother. He was there for you.
That's until a muffled snort came from Nam-Gyu. Thanos pushed your hand off, laughing at you.
You sighed and thought of a smart remark, but the platform stopped spinning and a 'Ten' rang out.
Thanos laughed loudly, "We needa four!!" He screamed, shaking his face all about.
"Were four!" A man yelled back, and Thanos took off running. Your eyes widened and you ran after him. "Run, Hurry!" You yelled at Se-Mi, who had stopped to grab Min-Su.
Luckily everyone had made it to the room, just as the door shut the timer went off. The door locked shut. You peaked out of the doors small slit. You didn't see Dae-Ho. A good sign.
Multiple gunshots rang out, each making your body jolt.
"Ha Ha! My family! We did it!" Thanos bantered, clapping some of the men on their backs.
When the doors finally opened again, you looked around. You looked and looked for Dae-Ho. Finally sighing in relief when you saw him. He ran over to you.
"You're okay, thank God!" He hugged you, you held him tight.
You swallowed hard, "It's not over yet. I'll find you after the next round!" You said, quickly finding Thanos again.
"Yeahhhh! Easyyy!" Him and Nam-Gyu joked back and forth. They started dancing to the music as the platform started rotating again.
'Four'
Thanos stopped and looked at his group for a minute. "Gyeong-su, you're with me!" He grabbed his hand, pulling him.
"Damn!" Nam-Gyu said, gripping your arm and pulling you. While you were happy to be chosen, you were worried for Min-su and Se-Mi.
"Lets goooo!" Thanos yelled once we were all in the room.
"Thanos what was that! Gyeong-su over me!" You pointed your finger at him.
"I swear I thought I was pulling you! Besides, you gotta stop running your mouth. You made it, you're fine!"
You couldn't believe what he was saying. Sure, he talked a lot about leaving you. But it was always just talk? Right?
The door opened once again, you were thankful to be away from Thanos. Your new objective was to find Dae-Ho now.
This time, the second you saw him- you ran to him. You no longer cared about what Thanos thought, nor what he'd do.
"I'm so happy to see you." Dae-Ho mumbled into your hair, which his face had been shoved into right after you ran into his arms.
"I have to stay with you, Thanos tried to leave me. I can't make it with him." Dae-Ho didn't hesitate, and pulled you over to his group.
Though, Thanos didn't like that. "Yo, brotha. What're you doing with my sister!" He tried to shove Dae-Ho, but he was bigger and stronger.
The platform started to spin.
"Leave her alone, you obviously cant take care of your sister." He ushered you behind him.
"I don't know what you're talking about bro! I save her, shes only alive because of me and Nam-Gyu!" He argued, leaving out the crucial part of information where he wasn't the one who grabbed you.
"It doesn't matter anymore. I will keep her safe now, you can mind your own business and get along with Nam-Gyu."
They continued to yell and argue over the carousel's music, it was difficult to hear them. Until,
'Three'
Thanos gripped one of your arms, Dae-Ho held another.
"Thanos, let go!" You yelled, trying to pull from his grasp.
It was chaotic, screaming was heard around you. "Dae-Ho, this way!" Two men yelled out, Dae-Ho twisted his head but didn't move.
Your stomach dropped. You couldn't be the reason Dae-Ho would die. You were all running out of time.
"Dae-Ho, go. Please! I'll go with Thanos and Nam-Gyu!"
"I'm not leaving you!" He was adamant about protecting you. Damned everyone else.
"If you don't go, we will all die. Time is running out!" Dae-Ho battled internally, you let go of his hand.
"Go! It's okay, I'll see you in a minute!"
He didn't want to leave, he couldn't. But you made him. When he slowly walked backwards, you let out a relived sigh. You then turned to run with Thanos. Nam-Gyu was already in a room, his yelling ushering you two forward.
It was going to be okay, The three of you in a room. Everything was fine. There was time.
Until, Nam-Gyu moved out of the way... Gyeong-su was behind him... There was already two in the room. Thanos ran in, not thinking twice.
Your running came to a stop right outside of the door. Where Thanos himself had closed it on you.
A "NO!" Was heard from across the room. It was Dae-Ho. He tried to come to you, but he was too far.
Player 456 and player 001 were pulling him into a room. Forcing the door shut. You could see Dae-Ho looking out of the door slit, his hands peaking out as well.
You didn't turn to see what Thanos might have been doing. You didn't care. Not anymore.
You just wanted your last moment to be looking at the most handsome man you'd ever met. His soft eyes were filled with tears as he watched you.
You weren't upset, not scared, not nervous. Not anymore.
It would all be over soon.
You gave him one last salute before a loud bang rang out.
A/N- Not going to lie ya'll, I ate that up. But I still love hearing y'all's constructive criticism! Please LMK if you want to be added to my tag list, TYSM for reading!
Dae-Ho Taglist- @fuzzyscissorsmakerpie-blog @thethreeeyed-raven
#fanfic#fem reader#squid game#dae ho x reader#squid games#kdrama#x reader#dae ho#squid games season 2#squid game x reader#kang daeho#daeho#Kang daeho x reader#daeho x reader#kang x reader#squid games imagine#squid games x reader#canon divergence#canon divergent au#did I miss any tags#ugh I hate tags#DAE HO IS SO CUTE#i love him#adorable#he's too precious for this world i LOVE HIM 😭😭😭😭#fluff#angst#ngl so sad#too tired to spell check#too tired to even post on ao3
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