#some people really do just wanna feel good about themselves
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iwritenarrativesandstuff · 9 months ago
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my best advice for people who want to stand up for human rights: stop looking for enemies to fight and start looking for friends to talk with
not only does this center your focus on the people who are actually affected as opposed to your own moral self-righteousness, treating more people as potential friends opens you to at least hearing out various points of view, prevents dehumanization and radicalization against entire groups of people, and actually allows you to start working on long term solutions
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orcelito · 2 months ago
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Just finished rereading ITNL chapter 2 again
Yknow, it's long felt like a weaker chapter to me, especially compared to chapter 1. It's a Necessary chapter, but it's basically an entire chapter of introspection. Add in the fact that I wrote it in a single day and was half falling asleep by the end of editing it, but pressing onwards anyways bc I wanted So Badly to get it out that night...
The Legato part was the weakest for that. I remember staring at it and breaking my brain just trying to make it sound better before just giving up and posting. But when I worked on my full-fic re-edits about.. a year ago now? A year and a bit. I think it was October ish of 2023. But I focused on that part again, trying to get it up to my standards to be satisfied with it.
Coming back to it after some number of months, my brain relatively fresh, I think I actually did a pretty decent job. Despite being an introspective chapter, it really drives home how Wrecked vash is about it all. I like to say that chapter 1 is like a thesis to the fic, where you get vash's goals laid out pretty clearly (him picturing the things he wants to fix + him picturing his dream of having all the people he loves around a table with him, including Knives. It serves as motivation for him jumping back in time in the first place and it remains his driving force throughout the fic). In contrast, chapter 2 is... almost a secondary thesis. We see his doubt, his fears, his panic. We see the things that he's going to be struggling with throughout the whole fic. His wish to handle it all on his own, as well as how overwhelming it all is to him. Chapter 2 is the necessary second side to chapter 1's thesis, showing the weakness in his own strength and drive.
The cracks in his own unstoppable force.
Idk it's just interesting to me. Having been away from it long enough, I think I really do appreciate chapter 2 after all.
#speculation nation#itnl shit#kinda wanna post Thoughts for each chapter as i work on rereading this fic#anecdotes about what i remember doing while writing and thoughts about the chapters themselves.#part of my goal with rereading this fic is to reconnect myself with who i was while i was writing it.#ive changed so much since then that it feels like a different person wrote this fic. which gets in the way of my immersion#and is part of why it's been so long since i last updated.#i tried to force it back in july. managed to get a chapter out but im not entirely satisfied with it.#im probably gonna try to do some editing on it when i get to that point. there are a few things i want to improve about it.#the key thing being that i just Cant force it or else the finished product wont be to the level of quality i want#and i cant Keep writing in the same way i would if i was fully immersed.#this isnt to say chapter 19 is bad. people seemed to really like it. but theres just... something missing from it for me. just a bit.#i think the thing that most influences my writing's quality is how much i put myself into the character's brain#so even if the prose itself isnt the most masterful. the writing is so in touch with the character's mind that it's really impactful.#i'd like to think at least 😅#but the other side of that is the fact that my writing just isnt as good if im not fully invested and immersed. it just isnt.#so that was the problem with 19. and im gonna try to fix those parts where that feels most apparent.#the chapter will overall be the same. just. this is my perfectionism speaking probably lol#anyways yes. full reread to really get back into it. replying to comments to remember that people love my fic.#engaging with readers and also with my own analysis. i think that this will help a lot with re-engaging myself.#and if i do this right then it wont be many months before another update again.#i'll be able to go back into it and Stay in it. for hopefully Plenty more chapters and updates#gonna write at least 100k of ITNL this next year Just You Watch. maybe even more if i can manage it.#💪💪💪💪💪 i believe in myselfffff
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the-ellia-west · 8 months ago
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HOW TO WRITE ROMANTIC ATTRACTION FOR DUMMIES
For anyone who wants to learn, (especially aro/ACE, aspec, ect.)
Requested by the lovely @darkandstormydolls
Alrighty! Welcome back or welcome to my blog! I'm dipping my toes back into the category of posts that gained me my exposure!
So if you're here, you want to know how to write romantic attraction/romance!
Strap in and let's begin!
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(Pls spread this to people you think would benefit from seeing it, or anyone who requested it bc I forgot, ANY ASPECS)
Step one -
Your characters must admire one another at the beginning, Romantic feelings usually do not present themselves as obvious until you really think them through, meaning your characters may not notice they have a crush until it's too late
These are general statistics and light stereotypes. So feel free to not use this tip:
Male characters usually tend to notice physical things first, like body shape, hair, skin, clothing, the way their lover moves, ect
And Female Characters Generally tend to notice more small things and personality-based traits first, like their lover's humor, speaking mannerisms, shifts in expression, ways they fidget, emotion in their voice, ect.
And someone who is in love will generally show more interest in this particular person's movements, actions, words, and anything in general.
Step 2 -
The character will show more interest in sharing their love language with their lover/crush
Physical touch - People with physical touch love languages may want to hold hands, cuddle, hug, or just lean on their crush whenever they are close to them moreso than they want to with others
Gift giving - Gift givers will want to get more gifts more often for their crush, probably thinking of them whenever they see little trinkets or wanting to get them big gifts for special occasions or signs of appreciation
Acts of Service - Acts of service people will offer to do extra favors and a bunch of extra stuff they don't have to do twice as much as normal
Words of Affirmation - Flattery, they will generally flood their crush with kind words and compliments
Quality time - Quality time people will want to spend time with their crush at almost every turn, and when they want company, will turn to their crush first
Step 3 -
After a while, these urges while become very prominent and more noticeable to the person having them
They may find themselves fantasizing about their crush or having them show up in their thoughts more and more, feeling nicer and happier when they're around, or when they're thinking about them
Smiling when they think about them, cutsey little fluff thingies like that
A crush is essentially: I want to date that, I want to be near that always, I want to marry that, I want that to snuggle me (or other love languages)
Or in simpler terms: if that asked me out, I would say yes (or at least want to say yes if your character is in denial)
Step 4 -
The character's urges to be close to this person grows strong enough that they do smth about it, whether prompted by another character. Or they just don't know I how to not anymore (like when you wanna eat candy and you don't want to, but you do anyway bc I JUST NEED THE CHOCOLATE OKAY?)
(Or for Aro/Ace, garlic bread)
People who are in love are generally very prone to be all dreamy and poetic and VERY EXTREMELY BIASED towards their crush
Then Yada Yada they kiss & shit
You're welcome, BYEEEEEEEE 👋
Happy writing!
Love you! Thanks for reading, And Ghost Tumblr Mother says go drink some water and have a snack, you've earned it, and you are beautiful <333
Have a good day! :]
@blue-kyber @thisisntrocket @cosmolumine @i-do-anything-but-write @paeliae-occasionally
@supercimi @the-letterbox-archives @sunglasses-in-the-bentley @vyuntspakhkite-l-darling @artsandstoriesandstuff
@corinneglass @wyked-ao3 @urnumber1star
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majorshatterandhare · 1 year ago
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[ID: two screencaps of tags from dark mode
First Image: tags from ×-caliber reading “#guys it's called UNRELIABLE NARRATING all caps: unreliable narrating] # shes NOT [all caps: not] evil #jonny just views her in a certain light" Second Image: tags from ceaseless-ramblerand x-caliber.
Tags from ceaseless-rambler read "#this is such a hard fucking poll because do you love her or hate her' the answer is YES [all caps: yes] #she's great but the fucking morality switch destroys me every time i think about it because. morality switch. what the fuck. #but also. gestures wildly in her direction. you understand? #doctor carmilla #the mechanisms."
Tags from x-caliber read '#prev has a great elaboration actually #bevause i answered thinking only about the unreliable narration that made people think she's evil #but i didn't actually think as far about her ACTIONS [all caps: actions] #now i do think that she had good intentions with the morality switch #that doesn't make it any less fucked up however"
End ID]
Okay in regards to this poll I'm going to do some Doc Carmilla analysis because I don't like having back and forth conversations in tags. This is long, I couldn't really find a way to cut it down
The biggest thing that fucks me up about her is Brian's morality switch. The concept of a morality switch at all is horrifying to me, taking that control away from someone. Brian's about page on the mechanisms website says the reasoning was because Doctor Carmilla found it "amusing" which. Makes me hate it even more. @x-ca1iber pointed out the fact that Jonny is an unreliable narrator, which is a good point. However, I doubt Jonny wrote everyone's bio and I don't think either morality mode would really let Brian lie about it, lying is wrong and I can't come up with ends that would justify it. Brian could be wrong about reasoning, of course, but I'm not sure why he would be. Because a lot of that second half is speculation, *please* let me know if there's anything to agree or disagree with any of it.
The two other things that make me not willing to chalk all of anti-Doctor Carmilla sentiment up to unreliable narration and character misinterpretation are the end of this video and near the end of Lashings. The first video shows Jonny cut the music and, sounding somewhat frantic, ask Carmilla what she's going to do about being thrown out the airlock. When she doesn't respond, he backs away and accuses her of planning something. This is something that isn't attributable to unreliable narration because the premise there isn't that it's a retelling but an actual event occurring. Also, the way Jonny is on edge, expecting her to do something but not knowing what/when and having to just kind of act like it's fine really makes me read it as a bad relationship for him. The end of the Lashings performance shows Nastya stressed about various other things and Doctor Carmilla coming up behind her and hugging her. Nastya visibly tenses and remains as such for the entire interaction. I've seen people argue that this was due to the aforementioned various other things, and it could very much be that! This is definitely my least compelling piece of evidence. But it's worth noting that Doctor Carmilla doesn't back off from the hug and remains sort of in Nastya's face until Nastya steps away. The situation is either Nastya being generally uncomfortable with physical contact at that moment (or in general) and Carmilla not caring, or Nastya being distrustful of her in general. Either way doesn't reflect well on their relationship.
None of this is to say that I think she's trying to cause them harm. She does see them as her kids, in her own way. The only other close relationship she had that I'm aware of is Lorelai (please let me know if you have any more information on this! I'm always open to corrections) and that wasn't exactly healthy. She could very well not know any other way to treat them, and I really do think she meant well. The problem with meaning well is that is doesn't change the ramifications of your actions. The best of intentions don't change the fact that you hurt people. This is, in my opinion, especially prominent in parental figures, which she is.
That is all about her as a person, though. As a character? She's fantastic. Trans lesbian vampire scientist with dubious ethics? Great!!! And all of the things I just talked about that make me dislike her as a person make me love her as a character. That disparity is what makes it really hard to answer the poll I linked at the beginning, because holy fuck morality switch but I love her as a character
Tags that inspired this under the cut
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#carmilla is an interesting character#she is not ‘good’ morally. carmilla for sure did things wrong#it REALLY bothers me when i see people claiming that fans who dont like carmilla dont like her because the mechs are lying about her and-#that she actually was a wonderful maternal figure.#she took autonomy away from brian. whether the intentions were good or not thats still hugely fucked up#i dont think its possible for any one to give informed consent to immortality. afaik she got consent from some of them. but the whole-#premise is kinda fucked to begin with.#plus the aspect of then creating an everlasting mother-child relationship where the child is not really able to grow.#she can have had times she was a good mother while still having times where she was a bad mother and overall removing a someones autonomy-#is bad. i dont have good words to describe how i think forcing someone to be your child for millenia is bad.#also like. brian cant evaluate morals correctly which means he cannot intentionally making good decisions effectively. so she has barred-#him from ever being able to be a ‘good’ person and that sucks.#the thing is like. im biased for certain about this. because i have my own life experiences that influence how i view things. but everyone-#is biased. the people who insist we hate her because we are uninformed about her and the mechs and lying are biased themselves.#im aware that if i didnt have a trauma-caused ‘bad person’ disorder then i may not feel so strongly about this.#i *like* carmilla. i think shes really interesting. but people REALLY need to learn that theh are allowed to like ‘bad’ and ‘grey’-#characters. i would think you could unddrstand that with the mechs but maybe its the tangibility of how it affected the mechs themselves?#they are all grey. they all do bad things. carmilla bothers me because of her specific actions.#i also really loathe brushing off jonnys distaste for her as lying. feels bad.#part of the reason its different for carmilla than how the mechs treat each other is because she has power over them. she made them-#immortal *and* proceeded to position herself as their mother. sorry but if you wanna be the mom im gonna judge you like i would a mom#i like her as a character. i hate her as a person.#the mechanisms#doctor carmilla#blogbot q#spumblr#i know achilles and i have already talked about this and iirc iv talked about it here too. i just really think her actions are fucked and i-#think completely brushing aside those who dont like her because of their experiences is really upsetting to see.#my opinion of carmilla has nothing to do with my opinion of maki. as well. maki is a real person. carmilla is a fictional character.#but then again maybe im taking what other say too seriously.
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danibeanie · 4 months ago
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mini astro notes ☺️
- 2nd house stellium, 8th house stellium /taurus-scorpio axis have possessive tendencies and it’s so hard to hide it lol
-sun opposite ascendent can have identity issues within themselves
-having a water mars is just as intense as having a water moon- imagine having both (me💔💔💔)
-I find cancer placements to be just as possessive as scorpio and taurus but I’d say that with cancer it’s more of a protectiveness towards others.
-this lunar return I had saturn right on my natal ascendent and BOY LET ME TELL YOU I was literally going through it 😂
-gemini placements are so good with story telling and convincing people to do things hehe
-libra placements just wanna love everything and everyone and I’m honestly here for it.
-having a dominant venus/chart ruler can make you VERY picky on who you spend your time with.. basically very high standards.
-every time I see someone that travels a lot they at least have ONE sag placement in their inner planets, also YALL have the best legs wtf.
- why do some capricorns have the dryest texting ever omg I feel like y’all mad at me 😭
-neptune in 1st house solar return and prepare for people to project on you HELLA. I’m finding more people make comments onto me about my appearance or just people really observing you.
-scorpio risings analyze the F OUTTA YOU like your not supposed to know my deepest darkest secret 😞
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martian-astro10 · 3 months ago
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Astrology observations - Part 5 (use whole signs)
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🌶️ I've noticed that Saturn in 8th house people always end up having to give their hard earned Money to their in-laws, like they're never able to keep it and if not in-laws then they end up losing it in some other way.
🍵 Saturn in 10th house people usually have a very bad relationship with their fathers, I know so many people with this and it's true for all of them (tbf, their fathers deserve it, so I don't blame them). Whenever i visit them, their father will start fighting even when I'm present 🥲 like some parents atleast pretend to be on good terms in front of others, but theirs do not.
🌶️ On the other hand, moon in 9th house people are usually very close to their father. He may not always be emotionally present in their lives but they still have this desire to prove their worth to him. But most people I know, who have this, actually love their dad and frequently spend time with him. It's cute.
🍵Mars/Sun in the 1st house people are some of the most ambitious individuals. I noticed that many billionaires have this. It doesn't mean that they're good at what they do, it's more like, they'll step over anyone to get what they want, can be greedy as well. If a person has sun AND mars in 1st..... don't mess with them, because they will RUIN your life.
🌶️ Jupiter in 2nd house people suck at financial management, these people are so talented and will do a great job, get paid a hefty amount, and then just lose all that money, I actually don't even know how they manage to do it, but they just do 😭. If you have this, please give your salary to someone more responsible and only then will you be able to become rich.
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🍵3rd lord in 12th house people ALWAYS do better in life when they leave their birth land. Nothing goes their way as long as they stay where they were born, but once they move abroad, it's like, their whole personality changes (in a good way), they also start feeling more comfortable in expressing their talents.
🌶️ Sun in 2nd house people are REALLY good singers, I don't know about the celebrities, but we have so many amazing singers in our university and all of them have sun in 2nd house, the type depends on the sign. But all of them have such a beautiful voice.
🍵 Saturn in 2nd house people are the ones who act like the elder sibling even when they're the youngest or the only child. Idk how to explain it, but they just have the "oldest child" energy. They're very responsible and I know people with this, whose parents did not treat them in a good way and yet they do not hold a grudge, they're like "it's okay, they were also having problems of their own, so I get it, I know they actually love me" and it's.....kind of sad. But also, very inspiring in a way. They're also very very responsible with money. They know how hard it is to earn before they even start working themselves.
🌶️ Mars in 3rd...these people....first of all, if you're reading this, please learn to talk slowly bro. These people always be talking like they gonna miss out some shit 😭, like bro calm down. Also, they wanna argue ALL THE TIME. I have a friend with this and and she makes ME cry with how long she's able to argue, they will make you agree with them before they leave you alone. So now whenever she says something that I don't agree with, I just go "yeah, you're actually right" cuz I'm NOT taking risks.
🍵 Mercury in 3rd house people can be amazing journalists and writers. They really have this ability to make you FEEL things through their writing, especially if it's in a water sign. Can be very passionate about certain social causes as well. I know two people with this and both of them have a secret twitter and Tumblr account and they refuse to tell us the username. So, they like to fight for things, from behind the scenes and avoid spotlight.
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© martian-astro All rights reserved, 2024
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celtrist · 5 months ago
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This was the piece that I had started before my extensive vacation (of coughing). Once again, Alastor is consistently the bane of my existence with his... well everything.
No matter! Anyway, this is something I like to call the Obsession AU. To sum it up real fast: Everyone is yandere for Alastor. I think it would just be apart of his punishment in Hell, being consistently forced into or desired in romantic/sex which he's never had much interest in. I would describe it as a dark comedy thing, but it can be as comedic or as dark as you want here. With that said, please be on guard with any mentions of darker content that treds towards a certain dead bird territory when I get a bit into how I imagine some of the characters. Again, it doesn't have to go that far if you're interested in this premise of an au and wanna focus on the more light hearted stuff, feel free.
This au is just poking a bit of fun at how everyone in the fandom wants to put Alastor in romantic situations constantly (whether it be with themselves or the other characters) despite Alastor probably being the least interested in the subject in the whole show. This is by no means a hate train or making fun of people who do enjoy shipping Alastor, it just more of a funny thing I think comes off as pretty ironic for his character and hopefully, others can enjoy that too. In this au he leans pretty much on the clear-cut side of aromantic and asexual with no interest in romantic affections at all. With that said, if you want to explore Alastor genuinely being interested in one of the other characters romantically or something similar, feel free to explore that! I can see some interesting dichotomies there. It's just within the actual "canon" of this au, he's not at all interested with that sort of thing. And just with a last final reminder to get into some character things I have in mind, some of the content mentioned does get pretty dark, particularly with Valentino but I don't think anyone's surprised there. But there might be some triggering content of the following mentioned here with characters but no crazy details really: Manipulation/Gaslighting, forced feminization, Non-con, Munchausen syndrome, Poisoning, Possessive, Drugging, Love bombing And I will be sure to give a quick warning to each character it might apply to, please feel free to let me know if I missed anything!
Rosie (Munchausen syndrome, Poisoning): Rosie has 100% poisoned Alastor before to make sure he relies on her. They started off as good friends but at some point Alastor began getting ill and Rosie offered to take care of him. This leads to Alastor staying in bed for full days, only really seeing Rosie who took care of his every need from food, clothing, washing, and so on. At some point, Alastor caught on that Rosie was putting something in his food to make him sick and he managed to escape with their friendship tarnished much to his dismay. He's often uneasy around Rosie but is upfront about his knowledge of Rosie's deeds. Rosie, in turn, acts like it is a lighthearted situation and often offers Alastor over for lunch, which he often denies. Any food he gets at his doorstep from a secret admirer or a lunchbox he finds at his seat in an overlord meeting goes straight into the trash. Alastor will still use Rosie's assets to his benefit of course, but is always careful as to what she might try to get in exchange. He has had more awkward lunches with her with his homemade meal versus the buffet she catered for the occasion, with the two gossiping like old times. Alastor is still uneasy during these times, but he also revels in the false pleasantries due to not having many others he's able to associate himself with due to the curse.
Lucifer (Controlling, Possessive, Manipulation): So I'm not 100% clear how I wanted to approach Lucifer. He and Charlie are probably the most similar I suppose? He wants Alastor as his queen (either alongside him and Lilith or only with him, he doesn't mind either way). He doesn't force him into dresses or anything, but Lucifer does consistently make doting moves and talks about how Alastor would make a good father to their children. Marriage is one of the mind and Lucifer probably gets a bit possessive with him. He also tries to guilt trip Alastor a lot, or manipulate situations in one of their arguments to get Alastor to say something he doesn't mean.
Charlie (Controlling, Possessive): Probably the most tame of everyone quite honestly. Charlie can be a bit controlling but does step off when Alastor expresses his dislike of her doing so, even if it takes a couple times. She likes doing things for him, is super affectionate, and daydreams about her, Vaggie, and Alastor all getting married. She can get pretty possessive with him, not being pleased when anybody does anything against Alastor's will or hurt him. The only exception to this rule is Vaggie, to which Charlie sees it like two cats getting along and finds it very endearing.
Vaggie (Forced Feminization, Controlling, Murder): Depending on how you look at it, Vaggie's one of the more fucked up obsessions or one of the more funnier ones. Because she's automatically inclined to like Alastor quite a bit with the curse thing but her personality doesn't jive with his for her own taste (in terms of their first meeting), she both hates and loves the guy. She's obsessed with trying to murder Alastor with traps around the hotel or outright standing over him with her spear. The hatred comes primarily from not wanting to feel the way she does about him, I guess like a fucked up tsundere if you wanna go that route. At the same token, however, she does want Alastor to be involved with both her and Charlie romantically. There's just one little problem: Vaggie has about the same amount of interest in men as she does in canon. So to sort of "fix" Alastor, she consistently tries to force him to be more feminine in clothing, offering different feminine names, and even trying to force him to get a sex change. Alastor is pretty slippery though, so it never quite works out in Vaggie's favor aside from the occasional dress or skirt being worn, which solidifies her attraction to him. Then he takes it off and looks more like a man again, and it solidifies her frustration/hatred for him.
Angel Dust (Drugging): To start, while I think Angel would love to have sex with Alastor, he 100% would not force it. Wouldn't even do touches or anything. Potentially he could just like as a coping (to be in a situation where HE'S the one in control), but that is a darker route that I don't think will be exactly true for this AU. However, he very much enjoys drugging Alastor similar to Rosie. Not only just as a bonding thing since Angel would also do the drugs WITH him, but just to get the not-quite-lucid compliments from Alastor and maybe a snuggle then and there. He wants to dote on Alastor with him drugged out in his bed saying nice things to Angel. Admittedly this one's a bit of a workshop as I just knew I didn't want Angel to be focused on sex like somebody, but wasn't sure what to do here.
Valentino(Non-con, LoveBombing): I mean... it is Valentino, what did you THINK he'd be trying to do with Alastor? There's really not much to say here, Valentino essentially tries pulling all the stops trying to get Alastor in bed while also love-bombing the hell out of him. Which really doesn't work. Valentino is pretty open with sharing Alastor, but again, does this surprise anyone? As long as he's participating in some way, he really doesn't mind.
Vox (ALL warnings): Pretty much the worst version of himself that people make him be sometimes for those darker stories in the fandom. While more interested in having an enthusiastic partner, I don't think Vox would be opposed to forcing himself onto Alastor. He consistently tries to manipulate and gaslight, while enjoying both the suffering and pleasure of Alastor. Much like Vaggie, Vox is obsessed both being in love with Alastor while also downright hating him to the core. He's possessive and likes the idea of being both sweet and heinous with Alastor. He pretty much is every other character wrapped up in one fucked up TV man. Vox acts the most well-adjusted of the characters here, but he's probably got the obsession the worst.
And of course, pretty much every other conceivable ship is up for grabs here. I did think about maybe unfallen angels are able to resist the obsession curse, which would possibly make a funny team-up of Alastor, Adam, Lute, and Emily. Alternatively, I thought maybe the other canonically asexual characters in the show wouldn't be affected instead, meaning another oddball team-up of Alastor, Octavia, and Mammon. Then there is of course the "nope, there's no escape for deer man". Not sure yet, maybe I'll workshop it. I have more normal things in the works rather than this messed up little au, but darker content is a guilty pleasure of mine.
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bbitches · 5 months ago
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A Year || LN4
summary: A year can really change someone in a lot of ways.
genre: fluff
warnings: none
notes: THIS IS MY FIRST SMAU SO LMK WHAT YOU THINK! also english is literally my third language and this isn't proof read/ grammar checked so mistakes are bound to appear :(
SMAU/ Written
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Summer 2023
Max Fewtrell added a video to their story.
tagged: @/yourusername @/LandoNorris
yourusername posted!
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yourusername Ibiza!!
liked by landonorris, lilymhe, maxfewtrell and 94,879 other
tagged: @/LandoNorris @/MaxFewtrell
user1 DJ LANDO!!
user2 y/n feeding us dj land content. she's the real queen here
user3 I thought y/n said she didn't like to go clubbing
➥ user4 maybe she's just there to be with lando
user5 bro did anyone see that video on TikTok? y/n looked so uncomfortable I feel so bad for her
➥ user6 RIGHT?
➥ user7 she's such a good girlfriend, if I were her, I would've just left lando at the club by himself lolol
user8 salivating bc Dj landooo
user9 BARK BARK BARK
➥ user10 y/n looking at this be like...
user11 does anyone know what club theyre at?!! I'm in ibiza I wanna meet them!!
➥ user12 bro leave them alone
➥ user13 @/user12 I don't see a problem 🤷
-
You never liked clubbing.
After all, you were only here because of Lando.
The music was too loud, people were pushing up against you, you never really liked to drink because you had a really low alcohol tolerance, you could make an entire list of why a club was not your go-to hang out.
"Lan," you yelled, trying to speak over the music, "Yeah?" He said, taking one side of his DJ headphones off so he could speak to you.
"Can we go back?" You asked. There was nothing you wanted more than to go back to the comfort of your hotel room with your boyfriend.
"It's only midnight." Lando said, "Why would you wanna go back? Are you not having fun?" Land asks you, but you could tell he wasn't really focused on you. You could see it in his eyes.
"I don't wanna stay any longer, clubbing isn't really my thing." You said, a hint of pleading in your tone.
"Soon, baby, okay?" Lando said, not even giving you a chance to protest before turning back to his DJ set.
You sighed in defeat, before retreating to a quieter corner of the club.
It was going to be a long night, like any other you've spent in a club, with Lando.
Summer 2024
Max Fewtrell added a photo to their story.
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tagged: @/LandoNorris
yourusername added a photo to their story.
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tagged: @/LandoNorris
Lando Norris added a photo to their story.
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caption: taking pictures of my pretty girl
tagged: @/lando.jpg @/yourusername
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yourusername ibizaaaa im backk
liked by landonorris, yourbestfriend, alexandrasaintmleux and 107,897 others
tagged: @/LandoNorris @/yourbestfriend @/MaxFewtrell
alexandrasaintmleux miss you! ♥ by author
lilymhe ditch him for me!!! ♥ by author
➥ yourusername say less 💍
➥ landonorris ???????? @/AlexAlbon
➥ alexalbon atp im used to it
user1 both of them are so pretty its not fair
user2 no DJ Lando content?!
user3 Not even following y/n because she's lando's girlfriend, im following her bc she's Y/N
user4 that jawline
user5 why do they keep going back to Ibiza
➥ user6 litt, like, why can't they go literally ANYWHERE ELSE
user7 OMGOMGMG I WAS tHERE AND I SAW LANDO GO UP TO Y/N FROM BEHIND AND LITERALLY PULLED HER INTO HIM BY THE WAIST AHHHHHHHHHH
➥ user8 WHATTTTT
➥ user9 picture or it didn't happen
user10 dj lando...?
-
You were about to head to the bar to get another drink, seeing as Lando wouldn't want to leave anytime soon, and your best friend was probably hooking up with some hot Spanish guy, when you felt a pair of familiar arms wrap themselves around your waist, the familiar scent of Lando's cologne surrounding you, along with the smell of alcohol.
Lando nuzzled his head into your neck, mumbling something quietly, so quiet you couldn't hear him over the club music.
"What is it?" You said, raising your voice slightly, so he could hear you over the loud buzzing of the club music.
"Nothing." He mumbled, "Missed you, is all."
A small smile unwittingly showed up on your face, "Im gonna go get a drink. Go party."
But, Lando shook his head, "Can we go back to the hotel? I wanna cuddle." He said into your neck, instinctively pulling you closer.
You were shocked, to say the least. A year ago, he wouldn't leave the club no matter how hard you tried to convince him. He was a party animal, but now, he was asking if you wanted to leave.
You checked the time on your phone, it was barely midnight, Lando never left anything before midnight, let alone a club.
"Why, are you feeling sick?" You asked him, turning around to face him.
His arms wrapped themselves back around your waist, "What?" He asked, a hint of amusement in his tone. "No." He said, "just wanna cuddle with you."
"That's new." You commented as you brought your arms up to wrap around his neck.
"I always wanna cuddle." Lando said.
"Yeah, but not at the extent of leaving the club early." You said.
"Can we please go?" He mumbled again, looking at you like a puppy.
You nodded after a few seconds, "Never liked clubbing that much anyway, I only come to be with you."
As Lando and you and Lando were heading towards the exit of the club, you bumped into Max (Fewtrell). "Leaving so soon?" He asked, a hint of surprise in his voice.
"Yeah," Lando nodded, "Going back to the hotel to cuddle with my girl." He said, raising you hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it.
"You've really changed him," Max joked, "Lando being the first to leave? Never in a billion years."
You laughed, "Believe me, I don't believe it either."
"Can we go?" Lando all but whined.
You laughed again, "Okay, okay, lets go."
You waved goodbye to Max and led Lando out the club, and when Max saw his best friend look at you like you were the one who hung the stars in the sky, he knew you'd changed him for the better. And that his best mate was well and truly, in love.
-
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yourusername sleepy boy chronicles 🤪
liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, yourbestfriend and 108,950 others
tagged: @/LandoNorris
landonorris at least I look cute ♥ by author
➥ yourusername can't disagree with that
user1 how does one fall asleep in the middle of packing?
user2 hes jus like us  🥺
➥ user3 relatable king
landonorris I was only that tired because you kept me up all night doing cardio..
user4 lando and y/n are so cute tgt I cannot
user5 Im convinced Lando only made it to 24 because of Y/n
➥ yourusername I mean..
➥ landonorris hey!
user6 Lando has no bad angles
user7 I SAW THAT LANDO
➥ user8 y/n is just a girl and lando is just a boy.. they need their cardio ;) ♥ by author
➥ user8 Y/N PLS MARRY ME
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landonorris ❤️
liked by yourusername, maxfewtrell, carlossainz55 and 709,897 others
yourusername is this what you do in your free time? take pictures of pretty girls?
➥ landonorris only of the ones that I love more than anything
➥ yourusername so you're saying there's more than one? 🤨
maxfewtrell Happy for you, mate ♥ by author
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goldfades · 2 months ago
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★ HARD LAUNCH ───JOE BURROW
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⟢ ┈ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 | 2k
⟢ ┈ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 | requested by anon! kelce!sister x joe burrow, secret relationship.
⟢ ┈ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | obviously, taylor swift MENTIONED!! cause of course, i just had to. big brothers jason/travis, teasing, overall fluffy read
⟢ ┈ 𝐞𝐯'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 | this may be my new fav thing ever? having joe burrow, TAYLOR SWIFT, the kelces + kylie kelce in one family seems so fucking iconic and insane at the same time omg, i lowkey wanna make this a series
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You don’t mean to catch his eye.
In fact, you’ve spent most of the evening trying very hard not to. At least, that’s what you’ll tell yourself later when the weight of it all feels too much, and you’re scrambling for a clean excuse to explain how it even started. Because that’s the thing about Joe Burrow—he’s not someone you plan for. He’s the unexpected storm on a clear day, knocking you off balance and leaving you to question if you’d ever been steady to begin with.
It’s Travis’s fault, really. Your brothers have this way of making themselves larger than life in every room they walk into, whether it’s Jason’s hearty laugh or Travis’s electric energy pulling people into his orbit. And you’re fine with it. Comfortable, even, in their shadows, where you can sip a beer, quietly people-watch, and dodge any unwanted attention. But tonight, at this NFL charity gala, the Kelce sibling spotlight is a little brighter, the event packed with athletes and reporters—people who know your last name. It’s harder to blend into the wallpaper, especially when you’re sandwiched between Jason’s dad jokes and Travis’s loud retelling of some outrageous offseason story.
And then there’s Joe. Sitting a few tables over, clad in a sleek black suit that fits him so well it’s borderline criminal, he looks… well, like Joe Burrow. Sharp jawline, blondish hair perfectly tousled, an air of calm confidence that somehow feels louder than any of the noise around him. He’s laughing at something—something Sam Hubbard said, probably—and you catch yourself staring just a second too long.
You’re not entirely sure who looks away first. All you know is that by the time the dessert plates are cleared and the speeches begin, you’re hyperaware of his presence. You can feel him across the room, like his attention is a physical thing brushing against your skin. It’s ridiculous, you tell yourself. He’s just... looking. It doesn’t mean anything.
Except it does.
It means everything when you’re stepping out onto the terrace for some air, your sleek, black and red YSL heels clicking softly against the stone, and you hear the door open behind you. You don’t have to turn around to know it’s him. There’s a shift in the atmosphere, a tension pulling taut like a string, and you’re suddenly grateful for the cool night air because your skin feels impossibly warm.
“You’re one of the Kelces, right?” His voice is low, a little rough around the edges, and somehow more disarming than you expected.
You glance over your shoulder, raising an eyebrow. “Depends. Do you think that’s a good thing or a bad thing?”
He chuckles, stepping closer. There’s a deliberateness to his movements, like he’s not the type to rush but always knows exactly where he’s going. “I haven’t decided yet.”
“Fair.” You turn fully now, leaning back against the railing. He’s even more striking up close, the sharp lines of his face softened by the golden glow of the terrace lights. For a moment, you’re not sure what to say. Then, because your brothers raised you to never back down from a challenge, you smirk. “And you’re Joe Burrow. Didn’t think you’d need an introduction.”
“I don’t. But I’m still glad we’re having this conversation.”
You roll your eyes, but you can’t stop the small laugh that escapes. “Do lines like that usually work for you?”
“Don’t know,” he says, leaning casually against the railing beside you. “You tell me.”
And just like that, you’re hooked. Not in the obvious way, where fireworks explode and violins play in the background. It’s subtler than that, a slow burn you feel deep in your gut—like the start of something you shouldn’t want but can’t seem to resist. Because Joe Burrow isn’t the kind of guy you go looking for, but now that he’s found you, you’re not sure you want him to let go.
And a few months later, the relationship between you and Joe isn’t just an open secret—it’s become a storm of speculation. The internet sleuths had started piecing things together long before either of you admitted it, thanks to vague Instagram posts, overlapping locations and that one time someone spotted you in the background of a Bengals training camp photo.
Still, you’ve both remained tight-lipped, dodging questions and letting the rumors simmer on their own. It’s worked so far, but keeping something like this under wraps when your last name is Kelce and his is Burrow? It feels impossible most days.
The rumors, though, are front and center when Jason and Travis bring it up on New Heights. It starts innocently enough—one of their usual tangents about social media chaos. But then Jason, ever the instigator, leans in with a mischievous grin.
“So, Trav,” he says, dragging it out just enough to make Travis squint suspiciously. “What’s this I’m hearing about our baby sister and a certain quarterback?”
Travis groans dramatically, throwing his head back like he’s already tired of the conversation. “Man, here we go.”
“No, no, seriously,” Jason presses, laughing. “It’s all over Twitter. ‘Joe and the Kelce Sister’—people are going crazy.”
Travis tries to deflect, muttering something about people needing hobbies, but Jason isn’t letting it go.
“I mean, listen,” Jason continues, grinning directly at the camera now. “I’m not saying I believe it, but if it were true… Joe Burrow? Not a bad pick, kid. Not a bad pick.”
Travis finally gives in, throwing up his hands. “Alright, alright! Let’s settle this once and for all.” He swivels toward the camera with exaggerated seriousness. “Get her on the phone.”
The producers, who are clearly loving this, cut to a break while Travis pulls out his phone and FaceTimes you. You answer after a couple of rings, your face appearing on screen with a mix of amusement and mild annoyance.
“What do you want?” you ask, already bracing yourself.
Jason wastes no time. “Alright, tell the people: are you or are you not dating Joe Burrow?”
You roll your eyes, trying not to laugh. “Seriously? That’s why you called me?”
“Yes, seriously!” Jason says, leaning forward like he’s trying to peer through the phone. “I need to know if I should be worried about a potential Bengals-Kelce family feud.”
“I’m not even answering that,” you say, shaking your head. “You guys are ridiculous.”
“Okay, okay,” Travis cuts in, holding up his hands. “But just… hypothetically, if you were dating him, what would you say about the guy? Like, first impressions.”
You narrow your eyes at the screen, knowing exactly what he’s trying to do. But you can’t help it—you smirk, your tone deliberately nonchalant. “I mean, hypothetically… he’s not a bad-looking person.”
Both brothers lose it, Jason practically howling with laughter while Travis points dramatically at the camera. “Not a bad-looking person!” he repeats. “That’s all we’re getting?”
You shrug, keeping your expression as deadpan as possible. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“Alright, fine,” Jason says, wiping his eyes. “We’ll let you off the hook for now. But just know, we’re watching.”
You laugh, shaking your head as you hang up. But the damage is done—the clip is bound to go viral within hours. And you know the internet will analyze every single word you just said, dissecting it for confirmation that, yes, Joe Burrow and a Kelce sibling are absolutely a thing.
As you sit back on your couch, phone buzzing with texts from friends who caught the livestream, you can’t help but wonder how long you and Joe can keep this secret before it all inevitably comes spilling out. But for now, you smile to yourself, thinking about the way Joe teased you about your brothers earlier that morning. He’d probably find this whole thing hilarious.
The off-season brings a rare stretch of peace for both you and Joe, a time when the usual chaos of his schedule fades into long days and quiet nights. You’d been looking forward to the annual Kelce family lake trip all year, a week of boat rides, bonfires, and general shenanigans with your brothers, their partners, and a rotating cast of nieces and nephews. But this time, Joe is here too, woven seamlessly into the fabric of your family life in a way that's both surreal and comforting.
The trip itself is perfect. Joe is surprisingly great at keeping up with the Kelce energy—he plays cornhole with Travis like they’ve been doing it for years, listens patiently to Jason’s never-ending dad stories, and even lets your mom convince him to try her "world-famous" potato salad (a task not taken lightly). Your dad, famously hard to impress, quietly declares Joe "a good kid," which might as well be a five-star review.
The vibe is even more electric this year, thanks to a certain high-profile addition to the Kelce orbit: Taylor Swift. She’d tagged along with Travis, her easy charm and megawatt presence somehow blending seamlessly with your loud, loving family. Taylor and Joe hit it off surprisingly well—you’d caught them once, deep in conversation about some indie band neither of them expected the other to know. And when Taylor found out Joe was a secret Swiftie, she’d teased him mercilessly, promising to quiz him on song lyrics over dinner.
The two of you have been careful so far, sticking to the usual boundaries when phones are out and cameras are snapping. But then comes the moment. The hard launch.
You don’t know he’s planning it. It’s Joe, after all—calm, collected, never one to do anything impulsive without a hundred layers of thought. The picture goes live on his Instagram late in the afternoon, just as the sun is starting to dip below the trees.
The photo is subtle in that effortless, Joe Burrow way, but anyone with eyes can see what it is. It’s a snapshot of the dock, golden light reflecting off the water. You’re sitting with your back to the camera, legs dangling off the edge, wearing an oversized Bengals hoodie that could only belong to one person. Joe’s in the frame too, though only partially—just his legs stretched out next to you, and his hand resting casually on your knee. There’s no caption, just the kind of emoji Joe loves to use, simple and vague—a single wave 🌊
The internet explodes.
You realize it’s out when your phone starts buzzing nonstop, notifications lighting up your screen like fireworks. Group texts, Instagram DMs, Twitter tags—everyone and their mom has an opinion about the post. Your brothers are the first to call.
Joe wanders into the kitchen then, shirtless and still damp from a swim, his hair curling slightly from the lake water. He raises an eyebrow when he sees you on the phone, and you wave him over, switching to speaker.
“Speaking of,” Jason says loudly. “Joey! Nice post, buddy.”
Joe smirks, leaning casually against the counter. “Thanks. Figured it was time.”
“Time?!” Travis is howling now. “You just dropped the most casual ‘we’re dating’ announcement of all time, and all you’ve got is ‘figured it was time’?”
Joe shrugs, unbothered. “Seemed like the right vibe.”
Jason sighs dramatically. “Well, congrats, I guess. You’re officially one of us now.”
“Welcome to the family,” Travis chimes in, still laughing. “But just know, you’re never gonna live this down.”
Joe grins, glancing at you, his expression softening. “I can handle it.”
Later that night, as the two of you sit by the fire, Taylor strumming a guitar nearby while your brothers argue about s’mores ratios, your phone buzzes intermittently with notifications. You can’t help but marvel at how unshaken Joe is by all of it. He just laughs when you bring it up, pulling you closer and resting his chin on your shoulder.
“Let them talk,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your temple. “We’ve got nothing to hide anymore.”
And as the fire crackles and your family’s laughter drifts through the night, you realize he’s right. The world knows now, and somehow, it doesn’t feel scary—it feels freeing.
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astuteology · 1 year ago
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🌡~My take on scorpio placements ~
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☆ scorpio in the 7th house- usually get cheated on by their partners. Go through Toxic/ narcissistic partners at some point in their lives. 3rd party situations. Partners lying and deceiving you.
☆ scorpio mars- usually center of attention (attention grabber not seeker). Females with this placement tend to attract jealously from their so called friends or just other people in general. Men tends to sexualize them alot, May have spread rumors about them at some point.
Men with this placement, if underdeveloped, tends to be toxic af. The need to control everyone and everything around them is just awful. Fuck around a lot. Sleeping with different different people.
If developed, good achievers. Very strategic mindset. Usually get what they want in life. Bulletproof mindset. Very good at talking to people but still maintaining boundaries. Loyal.
☆scorpio suns- idk why and how, but when people get to know that someone is a scorpio, they get weirdly attracted to them??? Like staring at them, wanting to know them. Intimidated by them.
☆scorpio sun/moons- have a good sense of humour. They can make anyone laugh. And with this, they tend to attract alot of people who wants to be in a relationship with them.
☆scorpio venus- won't say a loyal lover HOWEVER when they love love, they are loyal 100%. Underdeveloped can lie about being in love.
☆retrograde scorpio venus- feels unlovable. Extreme trust issues. Highly sensitive. Very very very high on trust. You know how they say scorpios take tests? With this placement? Tests x 100. Don't give 2nd chances. It's very very difficult for them to be vulnerable. People have rejected them alot. May have been body shamed or criticised for looks. They feel like they don't deserve to be loved.
☆scorpio stellium in the natal chart- highly intuitive. Usually sees things beforehand. POWER. THE DARKNESS. THE EYES!!! Very beautiful people inside out. However they don't trust easily but if they do, for the love of lord, don't break it cuz you'll be coming back again and again to win them over.
☆scorpio moon- been through some serious shit. Been through hell and back with themselves. They understand people very well. However, they don't get the same understanding in return. They can see right through you so don't f with them. Hate mind games.
☆scorpio rising- very very intimidating. Females with this placement tends to attract jealousy in any form. People want to dominate you so bad. People telling them to tone it down. Basically people don't like your mindset, it triggers them cuz they can't have power over you. Hates 2 faced people. And the irony is, they usually deal with 2 faced people.
☆scorpio lilith- highly seductive. Very attractive. Sex appeal. Feelings run deep for them. Had people who wanted them only for sexual pleasures, wanted to touch them in any way. High vibration scorpio lilith is THE HEALER. also I've seen yall had some near death experiences?? Or witnessed someone dying in front of you.
☆ scorpio mercury- moves in silence. Very strategic and careful. Committed to anything they put their mind into. Always ready to be one on one while fighting. Their way of talking is very intense and mysterious which makes people wanna know how do you think like that. When they say something they really mean it. They take their time. Expects the worst. They figure things out so fast so don't even think of gaslighting them.
☆Scorpio in the 10th house- achievers. From a young age they had an insight of what they will become. Hold power in their work environment. If your a student, your classmates want to steal your notes, they feel envious that you make pretty good notes of whatever you're studying cuz yall go in depth and make pretty good observations of the topics. Authority figures.
☆scorpio in the 5th- gets extreme reactions from people. Ofcourse with any other placements, attracts jealousy. (Bruh I don't get it, what's with the scorpios dealing with alot of jealousy???? Like that's tiring) Grabs attention in parties, get togethers or any form of social gatherings. May have dealt with people wanting to take your partners. May have overly strict parents or very fucked up family issues.
That's it for now🫶🏻
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bunnwich · 2 months ago
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Why Leona Gave Himself The Bad Ending
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Leona Kingscholar Analysis
Usual disclaimer to say that these are just my thoughts and you don’t have to feel pressured to agree. This was my thought process as I played through the parts of Chapter 7 Parts 212-226, featuring Leona’s dream triggered by Malleus’s magic.
--
I wanna start off by saying that I believe all the dreams are a mixture of Malleus’s magic and the dreamers themselves. 
Idia theorized that Malleus is sort of “setting up the parameters” in a way, then each of the dreamers' personalities and imaginations affect the dream in different ways. The emphasis of this has been brought by Idia several times that it’s the strength of imagination that determines how complex dreams are. Which is maybe why in the first years dreams seem so basic? They’re young, their magical abilities are still new, and their magic is no match for Malleus’s magic. That and, to be fair, most of the first years don’t have the same amount of angst and turmoil as some of the other second years and third years have.
With that being said, I believe that because of his high intelligence, magical prowess, and his hyper-vigilance, that is the main reason Leona’s dream was so…different than the others.
But let's get into it!
There are a lot of Lion King references in this dream, and it’s very clear the writers wanted to play around and show this off. I feel like they did a good job of integrating the themes of the movie into Leona's dream. It does give me a little validation as I feel Leona’s struggles and personality are closely linked to his great Seven Counterpart, Scar. More so than any of the other overblotters. When I analyze Leona I sometimes I do use Scar as a starting point to understand his intentions.
This is how I came to the conclusion long ago that being king would never make Leona happy because it's not what he truly wants.
We start with the dream back in the Sunset Savanna. It’s VERY interesting to see that there is hyena prejudice right off the bat as a woman flees from Ruggie while he attempts to buy food. 
Right off, everyone can tell something is…off about the city. Especially coming fresh from Ruggie’s dream where everything was idyllic and happy for hyenas BECAUSE of Leona.
Grim hits us with the: “I laugh in the face of danger!” line. We even get the three hyenas referenced and the “love for you to stick around for dinner” line. The once proud lioness-dominated palace guard has been taken over by hyena “ruffians” (interesting choice to portray a disenfranchised group being given jobs as the new guard as a negative thing, but moving on.)
The first interesting thing we get is that the palace is somewhat rundown and empty? The group makes comments of how dark and dreary it is, and how few people are around. Is there an implication that the servants fled at some point after Leona became King or did he replace them? This further shows me that Leona for whatever reason has chosen to isolate himself. To me, it's most likely that he already feels isolated by his country and those in the palace.
From the looks of it “Malleus’s magic” has given Leona the one thing he has always wanted, but has he? Leona seems less than thrilled and genuinely upset by the fact his whole family is...gone. As I mentioned in my Leona relationships post, I think that he holds a complex relationship with his family, and while he resents them, in no way can I see him wanting them to be dead. 
It’s now I started to think that Leona’s magic was overriding the simple “let them eat cake” logic of all of the happier dreams. This dream feels TOO real, dark, dreary, and…sad. Could it be Leona’s intelligence or cynicism, ruining what’s supposed to be an idyllic scenario?
Why is even in his WILDEST dreams Leona is still miserable?
Hmm.
A lot of people have talked about Kifaji and their thoughts on his presence. It’s strange to see people praise him as “a loving parental figure” as if he’s really there trying to help Leona. But, Kifaji is not there. This Kifaji is a manifestation of Leona’s mind and I’ll get to why that’s interesting and what I think he represents. Remember, that often in other dreams we’ve seen of loved ones or rivals and they can act normal, out of character, or even cruel. Vil and Neigie come to mind and Neige turned out to be the blot keeping Vil asleep.
Kifaji is a bit different. He actively tries to help the group wake Leona as opposed to encouraging the twisted dream logic. For this reason, to me, Kifaji represents Leona’s conscious and the Dream!Leona we see represents his shadow self, like the dark side of the moon. AKA, the Leona we meet in Chapter 2. In fact, this whole dream feels like a rehash of Chapter 2.
We get the outdated Leona that dumbs himself down and settles for less, cloaking himself in his pride and believing that everyone is below him. An idle king while he lets others do his dirty work. (Scar basically.)
Leona asks Kifaji to sing (another Lion King reference) and it plays out how you would think. Leona tells Kifaji that he is the only competent person in the kingdom. And he argues that the kingdom is in shambles, not because of his choices as King, but because everyone else sucks basically.
Hmm. 
Kifaji reminds Leona that while he is clever and his plans are grand, that he can not treat people like human chess pieces. (Can I just say I love when chess is brought up to us because I find that when people analyze Leona or his thoughts they often forget how much he uses chess to process his thoughts. We saw that plenty in the Tamashina Mina event!) I think it helps him sort his thoughts and emotions which he can have a hard time doing.
I think Kifaji represents Leona’s mindset post Chapter 2 and because Kifaji in his real life is one of the only people who probably stands up to Leona, he has placed him in this antagonist role in his mind. (but not really) Plus, it’s not far off from Kifaji’s actual treatment of Leona in the Tamashina Mina event.
So yeah, Leona acts more like he does in Chapter 2—he's the player or the king even and everyone else around is just lowly pieces.
Just like the scene from The Lion King, Scar and Leona are not happy. Even though they are supposedly getting their deepest desire, they remain bitter and…alone. 
When I first began to read into Leona it was quite obvious to me that the whole “I’ll never be king" thing was just a front for something else. What I think Leona truly craves is approval and acceptance.
Being king, especially of a broken kingdom that despises him, will never make him happy. But, why do the people not love him? This is supposed to be a fantasy right?
There is this interesting layer of how he became king too. Instead of Cheka or Falena simply not existing, like I thought it might be, they are dead. That is…so much more tragic than it needed to be. As if deep down Leona believes the only way he can become king (his dreams to come true) is if tragedy happens. This reminds me of his bitter view/the symbolism of his unique magic. That he can only bring misery wherever he goes—everything he touches turns to sand. 
I also think that Leona is afraid of failing and much of this dream is his anxieties and insecurities that linger from all his past failures.
Though interestingly enough, I sense that in the dream, as implied later by Idia, Leona has implemented an “over-exaggeration” of his policies and plans for the kingdom. It was almost like he purposely ran his resources dry and gave up trying to compromise with anyone for the sake of “progress.”
Why, though?
It’s very masochistic in a way. It’s almost like he wanted to prove himself right. Everything he touches will turn to sand eventually and his grand plans will fail even if he claims they are “perfect.”
That’s why this dream is probably the most masochistic and self-deprecating we have seen. I think what initially began to draw me to Leona’s character is because of the hidden pain he holds. He is by far one of the most easygoing, and lackadaisical acting of the cast, but…he cares, he cares so, so much about how he is perceived and his haunted by his hopelessness about his future and the failures of his past.
I think the pain of never feeling good enough, causes his mind to be unable to “play nice” with Malleus’s dream magic to even manifest any sort of positive future. One where he holds a position he wants AND is loved and respected. it’s just impossible that he could ever have that, even in his wildest dreams. 
He’s too much of a “realist.”
Side tangent, but a frustrating take is to see was the: “Oh yeah, see? He would have sucked as king.” tinged comments after this came out.
 I think it’s more complicated than that. 
This isn’t me trying to defend him necessarily, but to be fair, all dreams tend to be over exaggerations by the dreamer. Plus, I think the fact that Ruggie HATES Leona in this dream and is suddenly in favor of Falena, is a sign right there we can not trust Leona’s interpretation of the people he knows in his dream. He is sort of an unreliable narrator that way. 
Besides, like in The Lion King, why would all the water dry up, just because the hyenas over-hunted? 
A big theme in Lion King and even The Lion Guard TV show is "the balance of nature." The blight upon the Pridelands when Scar takes over feels more like symbolism of the “unbalance of nature” caused by the tragedy of Mufasa’s death. Which makes me again, connect that Leona feels the only way he can succeed is by inflicting misery on others. Like his magic, perhaps a part of him believes he is a curse. 
I theorized in my Tamashina Mina review, that maybe Leona feels like an outcast himself, and the separation he feels from his country is showcased in how he blames the citizens for the decline of the kingdom, rather than his plans. He feels isolated from them.
By this point, I was having flashbacks to Chapter 2, where he got a whiff of his plan failing and he still pushed through even though he knew it would fail. At first, he may have started doing okay as king, but maybe when he came upon too many obstacles or pushback, He just gave up. Because he was not instantly loved by the people, who probably already feared him, he’d rather not even try. Suddenly, they are “not worth his time”, and he can’t help them because they suck.
Leona’s problem has always been his pride. I think he has to put it aside to genuinely help people reach their potential and learn to collaborate with others more. Part of how this dream plays out, is him realizing that maybe some criticisms Kifaji had about his pride all along may be true. Leona refuses to play nice with others. 
That’s why I think Kifaji represents a more sensible and lucid Leona. He is in a sense, talking to his past self, and trying to shake himself from the dream and his outdated ideals.
Ortho even points out that Ruggie is not really the Ruggie we know but rather a part of Leona’s imagination. Again, which puts emphasis on how the characters in his dream are more indicative of his mindset as opposed to being “in character”. Maybe Ruggie hating him in his dream is his inner anxieties about him and Ruggie post Chapter 2 fallout. He feels like Ruggie could never forgive him for what he did. He let him down. And Leona being bad with people and feelings, doesn’t know the proper way to apologize.
Kifaji (woke Leona) says that the state of the kingdom is a result of him “pursuing efficiency over all things and disregarding other people's feelings.” It really feels like he is calling himself out here. Does he REALLY wanna help people? Or is it just Leona’s selfish pride who wants attention for just being smart?
Dream!Leona complains about the protesters interrupting his nap which is another sign for me of the exaggeration of the scenario of Leona being the king. Like...did he not criticize Falena for having the same carefree and laid-back attitude? And yet here he is...complacent in the same behavior he once criticized Falena of. 
Interesting.
Ortho mentions that Leona’s dream is clearly a more complex situation than the other dreams.
I think there is a key implication we are missing here too, that I haven’t seen many mention. There is a throwaway line that Jack mentions that Leona has not attended school and is king instead. And he doesn't seem to know Dream!Ruggie either. Nor Ruggie him.
There is no doubt his time at NRC has shaped him to be the Leona we know now. Someone who has at least somewhat benefited with the connections he made at school. It does seem like this Dream!Leona is regressed. And because he never attended school, he is a much colder person who has no regard for others' feelings at all. He is even more socially inept.
I feel like this is a common theme to show us that despite the independent nature of most of the students at NRC, that it can still be “the friends we made along the way.” trope.  These connections do matter and especially to Leona. He mentions this in his post-overblot monologue in the light novel. He found his pack at NRC.  This time with his dorm members affected his personality for the better. It's kinda sweet when you think about it!
Ortho mentions Dream!Leona appears DEEPLY absorbed in the delusions of his dream. This means that even though he has the lucid failsafe of Kifaji, Leona’s self-deprecation, despair, and pain are still overtaking his logic. That's what's crafted this nightmare. (And he later references it as such.) 
Everyone acknowledges that he can’t possibly be happy and looks EVEN MORE miserable than at school. It can't be a silly happy fantasy, but a grim dark reality of what he thinks of himself. 
That's why he gave himself the bad ending.
I love the double entendre of Idia saying Leona is building his dream like a “sandbox” game. Lots of Minecraft references. (Leona Minecrafter confirmed? Or hear me out…Leona playing King Crusaders or Civilization V FGHJ)
Anyways, Idia or Ortho, (I forget) suggests that perhaps he has run out of ”simulations” for his dream playthrough. And being an intelligent person his mind tends to overthink naturally and this caused his dream to have a more realistic tone. Plus, I theorize that because Leona is powerful and his intelligent, his magic and imagination was almost able to overwrite Malleus's, a standard happy dream formula.
Ortho suggests Leona chose a more “realistic mode “on purpose.” Perhaps like I theorized earlier, it is almost a masochistic test to see if he could have everything he wanted? Leona is a very analytical person who enjoys games. It makes sense, the way he often plays chess alone to practice “strategies.” But as I mentioned before, I think he just genuinely believes it's not possible. Ortho mentions he thinks Leona’s the type to understand that an “aggressive urban development” would come with risks.
Jack asks “If Leona knew this was a bad plan then why would he make the citizens suffer and be hated?”  (Sheesh, now we know Leona really is the type to play pretend and get a lil too real with it.)
Ruggie adds that Leona may be “doing something he knows he shouldn't be on purpose.” Like maybe he did it to be dastardly and maybe he just wanted to “feel the rush” of being a ruthless and hated king.
When Azul asks Ruggie if he thinks Leona takes pleasure in immoral things he says that he can't say for sure, only that he is a prince that no doubt can take pleasure in “bad things”.
To me, however, it feels like a masochistic move to prove to himself his happiness is unattainable. 
Then Sebek chimes in: “How could he go so far to kill his family only to abandon his responsibilities as a king and become a horrible one?"
No one seems to know for sure. Everyone in the group has their theories but the consensus in the group is that - nobody fuckin’ knows why this guy intricately carved himself such a miserable fantasy for himself. Very masochistic for a guy who appears to be so proud huh?
Idia continues to mention that Leona’s imagination is so vast compared to everyone else's. It fills out a whole “world” completely and the mechanics of this world must make sense. He's playing on hard mode. In Leona’s brain this seemed to manifest as if he is to “get what he wants” it can't be serendipitous or through triumph, IT MUST be through tragedy.
Can we lighten up a little?
Again, he may have started to do “good work” but quickly realized that keeping up with all to create a perfect kingdom was waaaay over his head. Maybe he was afraid to give it his all, because he knew everyone would still hate him anyway.
Another reason I think Leona thrives better as a “big fish in a small pond” so to speak. Like his dorm leader role where he can interact directly with his cute (this man used this word a lot for some reason) froshes, make tangible make things better for a small group or community. 
But as we saw, even with his dorm Leona began to feel overwhelmed with the pretty promises he made to his underclassmen in Chapter 2 about the Spelldrive tournament. He like…wants to be wanted but he’s terrified of people actually relying on him, because trying your best and then failing anyways is the most painful thing to him. His instinct when he gets too frustrated with something is to act like he never cared about it in the first place or anyone. AKA “I did everything right and it's THE REST OF YOU who are incompetent.”
That’s why I personally think that in the future Leona working within a small community might be a better fit for him, using his skills to see potential in others as a way to connect with them and teach them how to thrive. 
So yeah, needless to say the group is stumped on analyzing Leona’s intentions and Azul hilariously notes that Leona is just…a complicated person. 
What an understatement.
The group hatches a silly plan to have Ruggie puppet a Cheka hologram and yeah obviously it didn’t work.
This is where it started to get interesting again.
Dream!Kifaji said he’s been “waiting for the day Leona would wake up from his bad dream” and joins the fight against him to wake him. It’s like Leona telling himself that it's time to let his original dream go.
Ortho is surprised Kifaji is on their side, that he should be the darkness pulling Leona back in, but like I mentioned I think Kifaji is actually a “fail safe” Leona created to stay lucid or...maybe the little bit of hope he has fostered now that he has grown from Chapters 2’s events.
Since Kifaji is the one to normally call him out, maybe he's Leona’s way of processing his relationship with him. And that maybe…sometimes as annoying as Kifaji is, he has a point. Kifaji is the one who is implied to have raised him after all, so it's no surprise Leona sees him in a father-like role more than his own father.
“No one understands me, it's not my fault.”  Leona laments running away, running away from himself.
Reminds me a lot of Chapter 2 Leona where he began to feel sorry for himself instead of actually trying to fix things. It's clear that no matter how smart and mature Leona is…is that he still has a lot of growing to do. And that his relationship with his family and country are complex. There is not a black and white or good and bad with this situation and I feel like this is important when talking about him and his relationships with his family.
He was very much ostracized and probably neglected to some extent by his real parents but at a certain point, Leona decided to give up on improving himself just because he didn't achieve the results he wanted to. It's one of his biggest flaw.
His complacency is what drags him further into the darkness. Not Kifaji.
Sitting and stewing in his despair and how unfair his life has been instead of reaching out. Rehashing all thise chess strategies alone on his chess board until his brain hurts. Making grandiose plans instead of actually working hard toward a realistic goal. 
The idle king. A king with naught. (Nothing.)
I am now realizing that in a way (because Ruggie and Leona are so similar) Jack is Leona’s foil; he is the determined and earnest one who admires Leona at his best. He still holds the innocence and the idealism of working hard.
The group jumped through the darkness with Leona and we are replaying the events of Chapter 2 once again.
Ruggie and Jack watch it go down in dismay. Ruggie addresses that he once did think Leona’s way of thinking/plan was good and it’s cool to see he clearly regrets it now too.
They watch the drama play out as if Leona’s plan in Chapter 2 actually succeeded and see that he craves more. More ways for Savanaclaw to get ahead by unsavory means.
Jack says even if Leona becomes king there will be no end to his dissatisfaction. BOOM, there it is.
That is why Chapter 2 is so mind boggling.  Leona’s whole speech was about being king and second. But it’s clear now, it's not what he truly wants. I think Leona is afraid to admit what he really wants. Because that takes vulnerability and then comes the possibility of being rejected.
Jack also notes that, despite Leona getting “everything he wanted” he seems more grumpier and dissatisfied than usual.
“Leona is not your King, hes’ our Dorm Leader,” Jack growls. They fight and we get a nice callback to Lion King here. “Remember who you are.”
As Leona wakes up from his dreams he straight up says, yeah the scheme from Chapter 2 was…stupid. (Nice.)
Oh and we finally get some acknowledgement that Ruggie feels like Leona abandoned him in Chapter 2 which SHEEEEEEEESH. This is a deep cut for me, considering Ruggie’s real dad abandoned him. And it really confirms the fact he sees Leona as a father/big brother figure.
But, Leona doesn't, he sacrifices himself for Ruggie as the whole group tries to escape the crumbling dream. And while Ruggie cries out for Leona, Leona goes down smirking not knowing what will happen to him.
It’s time for him to face himself, his blot monster.
Blot!Leona wants them dead, all of them. Cheka, Falena, everyone. The real Leona finds it kind of pathetic. Because, in reality, I don't think Leona hates Cheka or Falena and he doesn't want to be alone anymore.
Leona admits to his blot that yeah, no he can’t do the job. He can’t be king. And instead of it being a negative it’s more a relief? Maybe he is incompetent too. He is addressing himself and his previous grandiose illusions. He hasn’t done anything worthy of being king.
However, he will not give up. He’s finally living up to Savanaclaw’s motto of perseverance (which he sorta laughed off in Chapter 2?)
This next part is what struck me the most because. He just lays it out so simply, finally saying it out loud.
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Self awareness!! Like he finally said it!! (And I felt very vindicated in this moment, NGL) 
What he desires most is the approval of others.
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Ah, and Blot!Leona responds with the fact he can't earnestly try, it's too painful to think of failing. Props for Leona acknowledging his flaws! Just like with the other overblotters. But I'm especially floored here because of how PRIDEFUL he is all the time.
In order to have better relationships with people, he has to leave that whole “they all hated me” shit behind. Because in reality, there are people who care for him despite his flaws. There are those who look up to him and admire him, for him.
But, the idea of that I think is so…crazy to him that he tends to deny its very existence. Then when he is genuinely complimented on his leadership or whatever skills he brushes it off.
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He calls himself disgusting which feels kinda sad but it’s proof he has moved on from his previous way of things. What did I say earlier? Leona is afraid of failure. 
Giving being a king a earnest optimistic go is too painful for him because ultimately he is afraid of failing. Like he was happier to play the role of tyrannical king than to bother to build relations with the citizens of his kingdom.
As his blot self withers away it’s almost…sad compared to the previous blot monster showdowns we’ve seen. It mentions something about “his friends” (A reference to Scar’s final words.) like he’s reaching out for Leona so it's not alone anymore. And Leona almost embraces his monster? It’s clear he feels pity for this thing…him. His pain, his depression, his loneliness. Maybe a step in the way of self-love? He acknowledges (almost as to soothe it) that it will always be with him, clawing from inside. Except now, he won’t give up.
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He vows that he will get what he wants one day, for both of them. He’ll have his “own throne and pride” instead of wanting for someone else’s. He’ll find his place to belong through his own merit.
It reminds me of that expression “find your own tribe” which is an expression that those who are not close to heirt families understand all too well.  He wants to find satisfaction outside his desire to rule and maybe because we know he prefers NRC to home, this confirms his fondness for his dorm life. (Savanaclaw found a family dorm.)
When he returns to his original dream of being king Kifaji is there as they look on at Pride Rock. The fact that it is raining is telling that hope has returned. (Just like at the end of Lion King) and that by accepting that “being king” is not what he really wants now “all things are balanced again”.
They have a nice moment here. Leona acknowledging that he has been given the tools to do good things by Kifaji’s training is a big mature moment for him. (Especially how they acted toward one another in the Tamashina Mina event)  And Kifaji praising him, since this a dream, could be a testament to what he wishes would happen between them.
AKA Leona finally feels more, “at peace” with himself.
As Leona destroys this false kingdom with his sand he seems reserved, it’s almost bittersweet as it all settles over him, his new found aspirations, letting the old ones go. He's letting the past go. A big theme in Lion King. (I really feel the writers must be fans of the movies.) 
Kifaji says: “Go to the place you really belong.”
This line kinda got me. Because the implication is that Night Raven College and his dorm is where he really belongs. Leona is confirming that his experiences at NRC have shaped who he is SO MUCH. 
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For years he accepted his life as it was, a cage, and now he is acknowledging that he has the power to break that cage and do whatever he wants. It’s a great callback to the advice he gave Jamil in Chapter 6.
This is quite refreshing as he mentioned before that it was too “late for him”. Now, he realizes it isn’t.
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Back with the gang, Ruggie admits his fear that Leona will abandon him again. Leona denies it, and says somewhat casually that he is in fact a true friend of his. This feels like a clever inversion of the line that Scar says to the hyenas about being his “friends.” 
But, we know now that Leona does mean it now. And this shows Leona’s desire to finally stray from the “path”  of his Great Seven counterpart and actually like…have friends?
The reunion of the Savanaclaw trio is actually really sweet. For a dorm full of cocky jocks with strong personalities they seem to be so genuinely happy to be reunited.
Jack bursting out into tears and crying got me tearing up. Like Ruggie and Leona clearly are bit more reserved in their emotions but we see Savanaclaw really are close, despite their disagreements. They care for one another as a dysfunctional little family. 
As a dorm that doesn't get much mainstream attention compared to others it was so nice to have this little moment. It's hard to tell, but I’m 99% sure there was a group hug based on how the sprites moved and the sound effects. At least a nice back pat from Leona. (Thanks, dad.) 
All in all, I really...enjoyed his dream section. As someone who is pretty hyper-critical, for the most part, it satisfied most of the things I wanted to feel. I even got emotional at a few points! Yes, it would have been nicer to spend more time with “king” Leona and dive into it more. Or get more lore about his family. But, he admitted it FINALLY, everything I have clocked about him all those years ago. It’s very satisfying to see his growth in a tangible straightforward way, instead of just me reading between the lines.
I hope we will continue to see even more growth with his character (Like we did in the Halloween event)  and I’m excited to see the role he will play in the rest of Chapter 7, even if it’s just him being a cranky old man. (What do you expect he was raised by one?)
I'd like to end this with some positivity. As someone who deep dives into character stuff a lot I know it's really comforting to see part of yourself reflected back in your favorite characters.
To anyone reading who feels they have things in common with Leona or his despair, the truth is that you should keep going, even if it's just to spite the world itself.
Your vision and presence in this world are valid all on their own and that failing is not indicative of your value as a person. It never will be.
Keep fighting to find your place, your pack and never forget who you are.💚
--
Thanks for reading!! This one took quite a bit to edit and think through so if you like my Leona analyses, I’d appreciate a reblog or even just if you wanna share it with your friends! Shoutout to the youtuber ガスマスクゲーマー whose video I pulled these screenshots from. Thank you!
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cazshmere · 5 months ago
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Synastry Observations Pt. 3 🌊
materialist🔖
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DISCLAIMER: These are just my personal observations and are meant for entertainment purposes only; it may not resonate with everyone due to the nuances of astrology. Please respect my work and avoid copying or stealing it. Enjoy reading!! 🦂
🐚 in my opinion, moon opposite mars synastry can be SO MUCH better than moon conjuct mars. with moon conjunct mars, the energy gets WAY too intense (sexual energy or just the normal vibe between the two) and to some extent it is exciting and when it’s good it’s REALLY good but when its bad its EXPLOSIVE. whereas the opposition offers a more balanced approach to the relationship. It’s not ON THE FACE typa energy but rather HMMM there’s something interesting about you and i NEED to know you🤨😋
🐚 i mentioned in my favorite synastry placement post, how I loved mars in the 1st house synastry and I TAKE IT BACK lmao😭😂. This synastry is sooo triggering for no reason, mars person and house person CANNOT help but argue or fight for the silliest things. A lot of heated arguments and with 1st house synastry these arguments could happen in public too💀 and everyone else around is like “omg y’all fr need to chill ✋🏽😐”. Very intense energy again
🐚 6th house synastry IS SO CUTE. you KNOW you can surely rely on people you share this synastry with (especially sun, moon and venus). it’s the “let me help you out with that” or “do you wanna go to the gym together?” or “omg let’s go and check out the new air fryer they’re selling”😭🫶🏻. you literally don’t need a special occasion or outing just to have fun with them. doing mundane tasks can also seem so exciting and refreshing if it’s with them🥺
🐚 (18+) mars/venus/pluto in the 6th house synastry could indicate that y’all NEED to do the deed daily 😭
🐚 another SUPER underrated synastry placement is moon - uranus synastry (trine, sextile and conjunction to some extent). this is the typa synastry where you can say the most random shit and the other person is like “omg fr i totally agree” and then y’all start laughing at something silly 😭, it’s SO CUTE
🐚 lilith square venus synastry is confusing ngl, it has a very push and pull type of energy, especially from the lilith person’s side. It’s like the lilith person wants the venus person BUT they also don’t want the venus person to know that they want them yk😭💀?? lilith person wants the control and letting the venus person know they might be interested in them is potentially the lilith person letting their guard down and not having the entire control to themselves so they altogether avoid fully committing and just want to keep the venus person guessing 😐
🐚 mars - saturn synastry has some WEIRD sexual tension to it. it’s like y’all both know you want it so bad but there’s something stopping you from acting on it😭, delayed gratification i suppose?😌
🐚 venus conjunct ascendant does not guarantee that both the parties will fall head over heels for each other. mostly the ascendant person ends up catching feelings QUICK and the venus person could just find the ascendant person attractive and not anything more than than. in any case the house person is the one who falls hard for the venus person (most of the scenarios I’ve seen irl, played out this way). but nonetheless both find each other EXTREMELY attractive FOR SURE ❤️‍🔥
🐚 sun in the 11th house synastry 🤝🏻 ALWAYS HAVING FUN TOGETHER no matter what😋
🐚 when earth house (2nd, 6th, and 10th) synastry is involved, you'll most definitely care about making a good impression and will think carefully before speaking or acting because you don’t want the other person to think badly of you 🍀
🐚 conversely with fire house (1st, 5th,9th) synastry you don’t really care AS much and are easily able to express your feelings more openly without the fear of judgment 🤪
🐚 water house (4th, 8th, and 12th) synastry is like a blend of both earth and fire house synastry. you do care about what the other person thinks of you, but not so much that you keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself. at first, you might be cautious about sharing your feelings, but then you realize how much the other person just gets you, and eventually, you bond over some extremely random yet specific situations you've both experienced 😭
🐚 water house synastry culture can literally be crying together and comforting each other during and after🥺
🐚 honestly gemini placements are such LOYAL and loving partners and are wholeheartedly committed when they are in a relationship, i hate when i read posts that say “gemini placements are cheaters/ afraid of commitment” blah blah, have you ever seen a gemini placement in love? literally the most devoted and supportive lovers fr🫶🏻
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astrobydalia · 1 year ago
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🪻Lavender Observations🪸
it's pisces season my dudes so here's my fave pisces aesthetic... this music video really spoke to my pisces moon soul so I wanted to pay homage to it. As always enjoy the observations!
work by astrobydalia
.・゜゜・ ・゜゜・. 。・゚゚・ ・゚゚・。.・゜゜・ ・゜゜・. 。・゚゚・ ・゚゚・。
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.・゜゜・ ・゜゜・. 。・゚゚・ ・゚゚・。.・゜゜・ ・゜゜・. 。・゚゚・ ・゚゚・。
🪻✨Capricorn risings are very full of themselves to be honest. They have an overall pleasant reputation and are loved (Libra 10th+Cancer 7th) but for some reason they're actually very individualistic and conceited deep down, like they think of themselves as being 'on other level' than others. I think this is because their shadow revolves around their ego (Leo 8th house) and we all know they love status but unfortunately fame and popularity tends to change them and/or take out their toxic traits (Scorpio 11th house). Basically they’re the type to become extremely entitled individuals just because they’re successful
🪸✨The virgo placement urge to have a harmeless and innocent personality/reputation while also engaging in the most unholy, taboo and sometimes immoral activities behind the scenes............ iykyk
🪻✨I’ve noticed Geminis are what people think Aquarians are??? Idk Aquarius placements are the most chill and unproblematic people I know and typically don’t make any fuss out of their “quirks” or opinions, they’re just living and vibing them on their own. Geminis on the other hand are the chaotic manic pixie girls/boys or the mad scientists with the most random and out of pocket interests and ideas. They always be leaving me like ‘wtf are you talking about?🤨’ They’re also opinionated af and will jump into controversy pretty easily.
🪸✨Oh! And Geminis are WAAAAAAAAYYY more detached than aquarius dude. Geminis are air AND mutable, for them it is extremely easy to move on and detach from things
🪻✨All the people I've met who's had cosmetic procedures done (botox, plastic surgery, fillers, etc) always had libra placements and/or Neptune aspecting the ASC. Overall Venus and Neptune influence is big in people who wanna look like a glossy instagram filter
🪸✨Chiron in the 6th house are HUGE control freaks due to feeling like reality overwhelms them too much, they feel like their life is never sorted out. They are also the type to overwork themselves with pointless things or hyper fixate on short-term goals cause it gives them a sense of control
🪻✨Capricorn placements are attracted to ambition and independence. It is not so much about age difference that they look for, but rather they like it when someone has their own things going on for themselves and has solid life values that they stick to. Capricorn's love language is supporting your ambitions and you doing the same for them so.... they need to see potential in you and with you
🪸✨Libra+Scorpio placements are VERY envious people and tbh I've seen this in everyone who has this mix regardless of how developed they were.... The type to befriend/get close to people they're secretly jealous of to either ruin them or get a taste of what they have. Seriously these natives are never happy with just themselves they're always focusing on how good others' things are
🪻✨People with fire in their big 3 HATE it and get defensive when other people make unsolicited assumptions about who they are or when people assume they can know the native better than the native knows themselves. It’s hard for them to brush that kind of thing off, they don’t like to feel like people are ‘appropriating’ their identity. The type to be like “you don’t know me or my story so stfu”.
🪸✨All of the Scorpio moons I've met had at least a phase in their life where they had a very unhealthy relationship (scorpio) with food (moon)..... They always seem to turn to food when going through a hard time but in a very self-destructive way
🪻✨Sagittarius is as much of an escapist as pisces. They both crave for things to be good, positive and unserious (Jupiter)
🪸✨I’ve noticed women with personal planets in Aquarius usually have very thin and sparse eyebrows and usually enhance them with makeup
🪻✨Natives with Mars in Capricorn are SUPER hairy. A very thick and stunning head of hair and/or noticeable and abundant body/facial hair. Their hair is usually deep and dark as well
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.・゜゜・ ・゜゜・. 。・゚゚・ ・゚゚・。.・゜゜・ ・゜゜・. 。・゚゚・ ・゚゚・。
🪸✨Scorpio Moon men I’ve noticed are attracted to a woman who is a bit cold, mean or is not easy to get to her because it makes him feel like she can handle him and his intensity. They’ll likely commit to a woman that captures his heart in such a way that he knows she can potentially hurt him more than he can hurt her. Deep down they wanna be the softer one in the relationship cause they’re a water moon after all
🪻✨I personally never had any 2nd house synastry relationship that actually involved money (except for business relationships ofc). Instead people who had planets falling in my 2nd house always make me feel like a million bucks frfr 🥺 They made it clear that they valued my opinion, my talents, qualities etc (essentially they valued all I had to offer which is 2nd house themes) and also made me feel like they favored me in many ways, like I'm a part of their top priorities, one of their 'faves' and wouldn't let me go easily. I have to say this turned pretty superficial in some cases on both sides, with 2nd house synastry there's a tendency to think of the person in terms of what they can offer be that money, time, services, advice, skills....
🪸✨That been said, you're more likely to be hired or promoted by people who have their planets in your 2nd house because they value your talent and skills. The best feedbacks I've gotten were mostly from clients who had their planets in my 2nd house
🪻✨Cancer Jupiter gives a very loving and caring husband that will totally adore you and provide for you both emotionally and financially. Husband is bound to be highly emotional and sentimental as well, the type to make it obvious to the world that he is truly in love with you. This is Jupiter's exaltation so this placement really gives Disney's Prince Charming vibes fr
🪸✨I've also noticed Scorpio Jupiter gives a similar kind of husband^ but less Prince Charming and a more 'dark fantasy novel'. This placement is giving Edward Cullen’s “your scent is like a drug to me” vibes when it comes to your husband
🪻✨With debilitated Jupiter (Virgo, Gemini, Capricorn) you might get a husband that is kinda detached and could even be distant or indifferent depending on other aspects or positions. Best case scenario is they love and support you but they are just not good at showing affection for some reason and might provide in more practical/straight forward and less sentimental ways. Again, house position,aspects,degrees, etc will give nuance
🪸✨I find Virgo and Aquarius are so similar in that they’re kinda judgmental of people and also tend to be very detached and analytical
🪻✨A crazy amount of athletes and fitness people have debilitated Mars
🪸✨I've also seen a lot of YouTubers, podcast hosts, etc have Sun-Mercury conjunction which makes a lot of sense lol
🪻✨Moon/Venus in Scorpio/8th house natives have a 'I hate everyone but you' kind of love. They really do have a level of misanthropy in their personality but it's low-key amusing
🪸✨Couples that have this best friends and partners in crime dynamics always have 3rd house synastry, I haven’t really seen 11th house as much… The 3rd house creates a fraternal understanding in a couple, two keen minds thinking alike (Gemini, twins, etc)
🪻✨I’ve actually observed 11th house synastry is pretty messy??? It creates connections (any kind) that are a bit all over the place tbh. You really don’t know if you’re gonna be together forever or fall apart tomorrow. You haven’t talked to each in years now one of you is reaching out like nothing happened and both people are keeping it chill the whole time specially the planet person. I guess this dynamic is okay between friends, colleagues or acquaintances (which is what this house rules) but when it’s a romantic or more intimate relationship…. Like I said it’s just messy, not necessarily bad, it be can refreshing and exciting but it has to be your cup of tea (I assume Air venus/mars people will dig it). You’re always wondering what’s next with this person, it feels like the sky’s the limit. I’ve seen this synastry a lot in couples who make odd decisions in the relationship that make people often question if the couple is actually serious about each other like that or not like being engaged for too long, etc
🪸✨Capricorn moons are extroverted or at least they easily pass as extroverts in social situations. They really stand out to me for having a very defined public persona that they’re mostly known for but they’re not really like that in private at all, you’d be surprised for better or for worse lmao
🪻✨"My love language is all of them" = Leo Venus
🪸✨Virgo placements are just as talkative as Gemini placements, they ramble just as much (Mercury). The difference is Virgo’s speeches are usually more thoughtout and eloquent like a presentation they’ve practiced a hundred times, in fact they tend to talk about the same stuff and repeat the same jokes, themes and rambles in most conversations because they like to stick to what they know (earth). They’re 100% the type to give you an unsolicited lecture on whatever it is they’re interested in. Gemini’s speech on the other hand is usually more spontaneous, random and chaotic, they tend to brainstorm out loud and enjoy finding new ideas in conversations (air). They’re more likely to wonder, play with ideas and ask ‘what if’ questions cause they like to explore the possible connections of different things
.・゜゜・ ・゜゜・. 。・゚゚・ ・゚゚・。.・゜゜・ ・゜゜・. 。・゚゚・ ・゚゚・。
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.・゜゜・ ・゜゜・. 。・゚゚・ ・゚゚・。.・゜゜・ ・゜゜・. 。・゚゚・ ・゚゚・。
🪻✨Pluto-asc aspects/Pluto in the 1st house/Scorpio rising come across as the cool girl/boy. They always have some unattainable energy to them that people secretly look up to and this admiration often translates into jealousy
🪸✨Aries in the big 3 always have something with their forehead. Either they have a big forehead or they have a sacar there etc
🪻✨Capricorn placements work hard and party HARDER. This results in them having a rather fast-paced life style honestly
🪸✨Istg Virgo Moons got a stick up their ass. In their minds they are judge, jury and executioner and never give people grace or just the benefit of the doubt. I don't doubt they're soft deep down but damn they can be very very stubborn and they can get mean easily.
🪻✨Best Virgo placement imo is Virgo mars, I’ve noticed they tend to channel the best traits of virgo (constructive criticism, self-accountability, collaborative, understanding but know what they don’t tolerate)
🪸✨When I first joined Tumblr I read an observation that said Aphrodite (1388) conjunct Mars creates injuries or scars from beauty products and that is SO true! I have this and I've burnt myself several times with curling irons and laser hair removal gadgets
🪻✨All the people I’ve met who loved country music, country life style and that sort of cowboy aesthetic mostly had Sagittarius placements 🤠🐎 (myself included lmao)
🪸✨People with Virgo+Scorpio placements are the most intimidating people I've ever met. Imagine the nitpickyness of Virgo mixed with the intensity of Scorpio.... yeah... not the best at going easy on others or letting people in. Don't test them, they have a “get away from me you fucking scumbag” energy whenever they’re upset or simply dislike something and are the hardest to please. They are very sensitive deep down tho, very sweet and selfless if they genuinely like you.
🪻✨Sagittarius is the master, teacher, guru and guide so it makes a lot of sense for the Sagittarius Pluto generation to be hung up and obsessed (pluto) with influencers, life coaches, etc (sag)
🪸✨Moon in the 3rd house natives tend to make vey quirky movements and gestures with their mouth/jaw when they speak or they're very expressive with their mouth like they may grimace or pout a lot
🪻✨Cancer Mars men are huge mamas boyzzzz!! The type to be completely dependent on their moms/wives to even fry an egg and provide overall home security. They will marry a dominant woman who is fully or mostly in charge of the house and family stuff
🪸✨Speaking of, men with domicile or exalted mars (Aries, Scorpio, Capricorn Mars) can be huge assholes if underdeveloped. If immature they can channel toxic masculinity since mars feels very comfortable here it could go a bit overboard and give fuckboy vibes. The type to be very controlling, inconsiderate and always feel entitled to sex
🪻✨On the opposite end, men with debilitated mars (Libra, Taurus, Cancer Mars) are super chivalrous and often present themselves as very polite, thoughtful and modest. Very popular among women for sure. They can be players and have huge ego too if not mature but even then their energy is very inviting
🪸✨Fire moons process their feelings by letting things out in the moment as they come either through anger, humor or simply speaking their mind. They can often appear rude when expressing something that they feel very strongly about but they'll always value authenticity above anything else
🪻✨Earth moons process their feelings by creating a course of action. Like they internally make a plan for things they will do in oder to make themselves feel better, fix their issue or fulfill their needs on a long-term/permanent basis. They could develop a whole personal system or life style that caters to their emotional needs
🪸✨As we all know Air Moons process their feelings by rationalizing their emotions. Ironically, this can make them lack some emotional intelligence because they put so much focus on their feelings making sense that they don't allow themselves to feel their feelings and figure out what genuinely feels right for them
🪻✨Water moons process their feelings by fully owning their emotions. They find comfort in the mere validity of their own feelings which is why they often have this tendency to victimize themselves, blame others for their issues and constantly look for sympathy
🪸✨I’ve very very very often seen Sagittarius/Jupiter in 7th house, Sagittarius Groom/Juno/Briede creates age gap with spouse!!! As mentioned, Sagittarius is the master and guide of the zodiac so with the influence of this sign in your marriage you are bound to have a teacher-student dynamic where either one of you has much more life experience specially in relationships
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.・゜゜・ ・゜゜・. 。・゚゚・ ・゚゚・。.・゜゜・ ・゜゜・. 。・゚゚・ ・゚゚・。
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scorpihoe1111 · 11 months ago
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Astrology Observations: Part 3🎀🩷
Mars aspecting the ASC can give the individual a dominating demeanor, but also mainly depends on which aspect. Ex: Harmonius Aspects (trine/sextile)=Straightforward, honest, stand their ground, strong boundaries, not one to be pushed around. Harsh Aspects (square/opp)= Aggressive, domineering, rude, blunt, obnoxious.
(TW: Death) Your 8H sign and planet may tell you how you pass away. Ex: Gemini moon in the 8H= Lungs, breathing problems, asthma. Moon= emotional turmoil, stress, heart break etc
Asteroids like Medusa (149) or Aphrodite (1388) can show you what people envy about you, what they admire, where they may attempt to bring you shame etc. Ex: Medusa in the 1H can attract envy over their appearance, their aura and demeanor. People could attempt to “humble” these individuals often. Aphrodite in the 2H can make others admire your money, your possessions, may wanna know how you have what you have so they can have it too.
Aphrodite (1388) can result in people not just admiring wherever the house it’s in, but also being malicious and petty over it since they feel they deserve it more.
Lilith in the houses is similar to this, and can result in those around you being annoyed when you do things in regards to the house and sign it is in. Ex: Sagittarius Lilith in the 2H= people could be upset when you relax, when you have fun, when you don’t play by made up rules and standards, when you’re genuinely happy, when you have nice things, when you take a break, when you indulge etc, because they have this mindset of “I never got to do that/have that, why should you”. Lilith in the 1H= people getting annoyed that you may be beautiful and they’re not, painting you as a villain because you’re pretty.
Cancer moons are surprisingly really good with holding boundaries with people in their lives. These people can be lover girls/boys, for sure; but they refuse to let people take advantage of them. Their love, effort and care is reserved for those who will appreciate them in return.
(TW: Mental Health) Take this with a grain of salt since it’s just an observation and not a fact, but those I’ve met with a combo of Scorpio/Gemini in personal planets in a chart are usually diagnosed with BPD, while those I’ve met with either Virgo/Aries/Gemini in a chart combined have usually been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder/OCD. 12H and 8H stelliums I’ve also met have had some sort of mental illness such as BPD or Schizophrenia.
Jupiter in the 1H, Sag/Pisces risings and/or Jupiter aspecting ASC/personal planets usually manage to get out of difficult situations easily. These people easily attract the help they need, the resources to do what they need, the money to get them where they want to be; very easily. Even when people with these placements/aspects get in trouble they usually manage to make it out very easily as well. Jupiter blesses and makes lucky anything it touches.
People think that Mercury in the 1H might usually talk alot about themselves, and while that may be true; it’s also true that they simply attract people who love to know about them and ask questions in regards to them. Mercury 1H individuals seem to be interesting to others and peak others curiosity about them. Others find them fascinating, thus constantly asking questions about them.
On the other hand, Mercury 3H individuals may be very close with their siblings, or their siblings can be popular/known/famous which could make the 3H person known for their siblings. This results in the 3H person consistently hearing about their siblings, getting asked questions or discussing topics in regards to their siblings. Same thing with school, this person may have either really good or really bad grades in regards to school so their main conversations with others could be in regards to school topics.
A Virgo rising individual at their worst can be obsessed with popularity/attention/validation (Leo 12H) amongst their peers. They may not come off that way, and they themselves may not even know that they secretly love being in the center. Without realizing, they subconsciously try their hardest to be the best at everything, the smartest, the prettiest/handsomest, and when at their lowest they have no issue with taking down others who they deem threatening to their spotlight. They can also be secretly judgmental of those who they deem to be lesser, or not as attractive than they are.
Similarly, I’ve noticed Scorpio Risings at their worse can be very jealous and insecure individuals as well when it comes to appearances/validation. I’ve noticed this in women with this placement mostly, but when they’re at their lowest/undeveloped, they’re the type to only be friends with or surround themselves around people they think are worse than they are whether appearance, status, popularity wise etc. Undeveloped Scorpio rising females can be very competitive and refuse to have someone who’s possibly better than they are around them, since they don’t want to be compared to the other person or not chosen/not the favorite.
Libra moon’s are the people that start the drama and then say “I don’t like drama” lol. What they really mean is they love it, as long as they’re not involved
If you find that you always have bad experiences with those whose signs fall in your 11H, check your sidereal chart. Odds are your 11H sign in your western chart is the 12H sign in your sidereal, which would explain the bad experiences.
Aquarius women are always so successful in everything they do, I’ve rarely met an Aquarius woman that doesn’t have their shit together in every category. They’re giving face, body, money, career, healthy love life and social life etc. The men on the other hand…
Yes, those with Saturn in the 7H have a hard time finding the one. They go through years of cycles and repetitive situations in love but those who find their person find their FOREVER person. People with this placement may be the last to be in a relationship/get married amongst their peers, however they’re usually the happiest and most successful once they do compared to friends or family who just hurried up and settled and usually separate/divorce. Saturn 7H’s standards and boundaries may also seem to high or unrealistic to those around them, but they’re just asking for bare minimum. It only seems that way to others around them because they were raised in a group or environment that had no standards low key.
The good thing about 2H stelliums is that you attract money, possessions and success super easily. The bad thing is that those around you could ONLY see you as your success/money, and may try to bleed you dry of what you have and take advantage. Strong boundaries and not being overly giving is recommended with these placements.
Mars in the 12H can attract people who are secretly aggressive or hostile towards them. They may never know someone is holding a grudge on them and they may attract secret animosity or competition as a result. May have issues with male figures in their life and won’t even know it.
Jupiter in the 6H, especially with Cancer or Libra there; get along with animals sooo well. These are literal pet whisperers and it’s rare for them to not have at least 3 cats/dogs. They love animals more than people sometimes.
Part 4 will be out soon. 👏🏻
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bbadandboujee · 8 days ago
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groom persona chart observations ⛧⃝ 18+
idk what to put here so fuck a intro!
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OBSERVATIONS:
NEPTUNE IN THE 12H: your spouse is someone whose very artistic, they can definitely have an eye for detail, they could be good at drawing especially, they often work behind the scenes in any creative field as well. i feel like with this placement as well, they’re so good at what they do, but they may have tendencies to deny their gifts. they’re someone very patient and kind, can read emotions very well, gift of discernment too i’ve noticed, when it comes to you they have an understanding of who you are, and it’s not just the physical aspect of it all, it’s internal. i also feel like with this placement you guys will feel familiar from the get-go, this person has loved you for many lives, usually before they meet you they can have visions/dreams about you. *intuitively* i got in whatever creative endeavor they’re in, let’s saying drawing, they could draw you or even write about you before meeting you, basically envisioning their future. this person does have a thing for escapism, especially when they’re going thru ruff times, drugs, drinking, or even daydreaming about the perfect life they’ve always wanted to live. i’ve noticed with this placement your spouse can be into smoking, but it’s mainly for a reason. your spouse deep down has carried so much weight lifted on their shoulders, mentally. with you it’s like everything simply goes away, and they can become a better person. with this placement do not take your spouse for granted, love them whole.
MARS CONJUNCT PART OF FORTUNE: a very ambitious spouse, with this aspect, they’re obviously very strong inside and out. they might’ve had to work harder than others for what they’ve truly wanted in life, working from the bottom to the top is what i’ve seen with this aspect. your spouse can also become rich as hell. usually i feel like money comes and goes, but the thing is you can never call this person ‘broke’ because they’re always gonna have. finically they’ll be there for you, you can always count on them in times of need.
MOON IN SCORPIO: yo this is definitely a mysterious placement lol, not to be stereotypical or anything but this person may come off a bit as a mystery when you first meet them. they usually seem distant or simply introverted from a far, but as you get to know them they’re good people. they often have some type of relationship with their mother that may have traumatized them. but emotionally, when first meeting them they either first came out of a relationship or their just not really ready for one YET. they could be seen as emotional or even sensitive. they also usually don’t talk first unless spoken too (i think you already got that lol) but yeah, just chill ppls.
JUPITER IN 8H: BIG DIH. YUP I SAID IT. no but fr, a very big dih like i’m not playing..lets just say your spouse is PACKING..mk. he’ll definitely go round for round for round for round with you!! did i mention round for round? LOL, but yeah since jupiter tends to expand things and the 8h is also about sexual organs..you see?? 😂 but yes enough about that chi..your spouse can definitely be wealthy and their source of income is other people ofc. i feel like if they owned a business they’d take off tremendously. spiritually, they could be into esoteric shit, and i also feel like finding God could transform them as well.
VENUS 7H: a very outgoing extroverted person, sometimes their friends could often be their enemies as well, but this doesn’t stop this person from having a heart. they’ll always wanna see you do good before themselves, they often put people on a pedestal, which often leads them hurting. they can be seen as clingy especially in close relationships too. they can also be seen as friendly as well/approachable. they’ll definitely be a loyal spouse too.
MERCURY IN PISCES: IS IT ME OR PEOPLE WITH THIS PLACEMENT BE TYPING YABA DABA DOO IN THE MESSAGES?? like intentionally making spelling mistakes and shii, but nah your spouse will definitely type way different than you i’ve noticed (weird ass observation ik..) even talk different than you. it’ll be hard to understand what they’re saying sometimes too especially while typing. anywho, your spouse is VERY good at writing, very original, i’ve noticed with this placement they know how to write from a certain point of view, lets say their writing about jason..girl they’ll definitely get his point of view down so well! but all jokes aside, very smart people.
NEPTUNE 7H + URANUS 7H CONJUNCTION : girl i aint gone lie..well ykw lets give them the benefit of the doubt, they could be very hmm how do i see this..ykw fuck it, TERRIBLE AT RELATIONSHIPS. i’ve noticed with this damn placement that your spouse can be a bit of a player..🙂‍↔️, OR they just simply date a lot, BUT honestly a very good placement to have if you want someone whose a bit of a rebel, someone who doesn’t really take shit from nobody. they may have been cheated on in their past relationships, and usually their relationships tend to burn out quickly. they’re often played in relationships unfortunately, and i feel like when they meet you, you guys might be off and on not in a toxic way, but simply talking here and there. they often tend to fall for their friends a lot, and i feel like with you, y’all might be friends to lovers.
i’m done for today 💔, it’s birthday weekend so i wanted to give y’all something before i leave chi! 🙂‍↕️
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chocoqtelle · 3 months ago
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inner child pac reading
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🦀 pile one,,
I know we're used to being super helpful, but it's good to help yourself too. you should always make sure you're okay first. It's important for us to be okay, even if other people don't think so. we should think so. things are gonna be okay for us. they always are. I want to do the things we like. I don't understand why you care about what people think now. I think we should try doing what we like more, even if it's embarrassing. it doesn't have to take a lot of time. it's just good to have fun sometimes. maybe you can get back into some of our old interests if you want?
it seems like this pile had to mature quickly and was overly generous in childhood. this likely led to some people pleaser habits. when the world said "be nice" and "care about others" you took it to heart, but it felt like you were the only one who did. you felt like you had to be the adult in your childhood and care for other people around you. for some of you, you may have had to care for a parental/older familiar figure or your siblings. you're used to changing your words and your personality to be more digestible and gentle because this strong fear of conflict. you were scared of people being mean to you, so you avoided making anyone mad. it was like you were always tiptoeing over eggshells. now, you don't have to, so there's no point in worrying about people who don't worry about you. you'd be doing yourself and your inner child a favor by doing what you want. it might feel wrong to be yourself, but at least try. I won't delve too much into this part, but I believe some people in this pile also dealt with being oversexualized or being hyper sexual at a young age. I think it's important to know you're more than what you can give others for this pile. please also take a break for the love of god.
🐸 pile two,,
It's hard to feel loved if nobody shows you. at the same time, i don't think I'd want to be loved. it seems weird and uncomfortable. I'm not used to it so it's scary. I still wish that someone would care at least. it feels like nobody else cares. I'm really tired of things being silent and boring all the time. I want to do something fun. I want friends but I want to be by myself. people think I'm weird, but I think they're the weird ones. they can avoid me but I wouldn't wanna be friends with them anyway. it doesn't matter if it's lonely, I don't feel less lonely around people anyway. some people think I'm mean. I don't think I'm mean. i heard I look mean or I act mean sometimes, but what if that's just who I am? I don't try to be mean to people. I just don't want people to hurt me.
holy neglect trauma... there's a lot to unpack here 😓 first off, I hope you're alright. it seems like this pile never really learned how to interact with people and is probably still a bit of a people hater. this pile has had to keep strong boundaries and walls on to protect themselves from unfamiliar experiences (being spoken to positively.) if you've never experienced something, it can be scary but you have to stop thinking every little thing is gonna go wrong in your life. it's fine. separate note but I think someone's ancestors are very present here, might want to connect with them if you don't already. you can try to shut down the feelings of loneliness and pretend connection won't help but it does. you're probably not connected with your inner child or you're ashamed of yourself for some reason. trying to be cold won't undo anything or save you from the feelings you're hiding. you'll have to acknowledge them at some point. escapism and forcing ignorance wont help forever. hopefully it'll be sooner than later, but that's your choice. it's okay to be soft, btw.
🐕 pile three,,
I know what I'm talking about. I'm serious. I wish people would take me more seriously. i get good grades, I study hard, I always prove how smart I am. for some reason, people still act like I'm too young and stupid to have opinions or that what I say is just silly, especially with emotions. they act like having emotions makes you a less rational person. some people look down on me for who I am, too. it's not something I can change. whether it's gender, age, or whatever, people always want an excuse to ignore how I feel or what I have to say. I know I'm right though. I don't want us to stop expressing ourselves. I wanna share how I feel to the world.
this pile is extremely opinionated and knows how to share their emotions. this pile is for the "bossy" kids who "should have been lawyers" or "a CEO" according to every adult around them. you were emotional as a child and it was always ignored or joked off as if your feelings were invalid. this pile is definitely natural-born leaders so if you aren't/never have been aspiration-driven or "extra" this pile probably isn't yours. the most healing thing you can do for yourself at this point is speak up. continue to speak about everything. share your opinion more, it's safe now and people will actually take you seriously. be emotional, be too much, be annoying, be talkative, be over-opinionated, be everything you feel like being and don't let anyone talk you out of it. lead your life how you want to. call everything out, even if it means being weird. I definitely feel like some people in this pile had the gifted kid experience or liked to read a lot when they were younger. there's also some unresolved anger that might need to be taken care of. I think speaking up more instead of bottling feelings up will definitely help that, though. you're not stupid or weak for being emotional. just be yourself unapologetically and that's the best thing you can do for your younger self.
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