#some people might take offense to that even if you're anon

[ificouldhelpyouforget]

ageism 😭 be so fucking serious if people are uncomfortable they have every right to be. especially if the reader is 35+... you old ass niggas need to get a damn life 😭😭 you pushing 40 reading fanfic about someone who is 10 years younger than you.....

They do have every right to be uncomfortable and that's fine if they are, but don't shut out a whole group of people. A majority of the content out there that we all consume is created by older people and even if there is smut, there seems to be no issue there on who consumes the media. Putting smut out in a public forum means all kinds of people will read it. If you don't want people to read it, then don't post it. Easy as that. Us "old ass" people can read whatever the fuck we want. It's fiction. It's not real. Or have you not figured out that it's fantasy yet?

I sure hope that when you younglings reach this age, you still live by this unnecessary rule of not reading smut about young 20 somethings. 🤷🏻‍♀️

A lot of people who have enjoyed fanfiction for longer than most of y'all have been alive already feel isolated from kpop and now having writers isolate them further fucking sucks. Fanfiction doesn't have to be this way. It's a hobby people want to enjoy however they want. The whole point is to read and write things that could be potentially taboo or frowned upon irl. It's a form of escapism for many, but now even that feels like it's being gatekept and that's not how fanfiction should be no matter the subject or person in the fic.

[bonefall]

while i do agree with the sentiment that bloodclan should be more nuanced as an entity i still believe it is wrong to portray them as the necessary "response" to clan injustice (haven't read the books in years but i am pretty sure that bloodclan started with no connection to the clans) / an opposition to the clan's flaws. some of the thing scourge did was out of selfishness and bloodclan isn't the other colour of the black and white debacle with the clans. the clans are heavily flawed yes, but it isn't realistic to completely say that their structure had no redeeming qualities altogether and that all outsider groups is fundamentally better than the clans.

all clans and groups are flawed in their own way and i believe we shouldnt brush past the things that other groups (the sisters and what they do with their toms *cough cough*) did solely to be able to degrade the clans and their culture.

Buddy, you're setting up a strawman. I promise you that if you look into the reduxes I've made of BloodClan, Guardians, The Sisters, and the Tribe, you will see that I don't make any of them a "flawless" alternative to Clan life.

Nor do I say that the Clans have no redeeming qualities. In fact, you can browse the "Clan Culture" tag to see the various expansions I've made to show how these traditions, values, and technological advances make Clan life so alluring.

The overarching theme of BB is that the nature of culture is change. For better AND for worse.

With respect, I think there's something insidious in the wording of "the things the other groups did." We're talking about fan responses to a work that consistently demonizes and degrades foreigners to make the Clans look like the "best way to live," justifying xenophobia. These are not real groups, they are writing choices.

In the franchise with some pretty extreme examples of misogyny, the authors said "What if bizarro world where women rule and have no men... woag..." and only includes a single Clan-alligned member of this culture, with a BAD opinion of them, who can't even do his diplomatic job because he HATES them so much.

In the same franchise that shows Fireheart getting bullied, facing prejudice, and fighting a murderous tyrant who publically executes a mixed-race character, their endgame villain is an outsider, like him, but this one IS a godless heathen who HATES love and friendship and banned families.

In the VERY same franchise which made its first non-malicious group barely able to get through an arc without needing to be saved by Clan cats, totally unable to defend themselves, framed as "whiny" for not wanting their clearly 'inferior' culture to be forcefully changed.

And I'm re-stating all this because, again, no offense to you in particular Anon, but I've been seeing a few people with a sentiment like yours lately. Complaints into a vacuum that don't make targeted critique of anyone's fanworks, gesturing at this broad "woobification" which is apparently out there somewhere over the rainbow, saying things like "well Scourge is selfish" or "well Moonlight abandoned her 13 year old" as if we haven't BEEN knew.

As if we're not all directly responding to these choices. As if I haven't written ESSAYS on this topic.

Since this was about BloodClan in particular though, and you admit you haven't read the books in years, please go back and actually read Rise of Scourge before trying to make critique of the ways fanon rewrites its origin. It's EXPLICITLY a response to the Clans, in the text, that the Erins wrote, it is canon that fanon is working with.

And you want people to take that out and approach it a different way... why? Because it's so incredulous to you that a nation forms in response to a threatening neighbor? That a common enemy through invasions is a way that people might choose to unite, and encourage their new culture to value brutality? Because you don't like the idea of Clan Culture's XENOPHOBIC BATTLE CULTURE affecting surrounding communities??

Could YOU, maybe, be doing this "woobification" thing I keep hearing about? Can I play this stupid game too? What's our stupid prize? Can it be a lollipop? Do we get stickers

TL;DR, ok.

[pagodazz]

your post abt sexualizing the emh characters and actors was based but lets be real we all skipped the princeton tapes anyway

Im going to be so upfront rn. and don't take any offense I'm not mad or anything but I'm definitely gonna get heated HELP.

I listen to the Princeton tapes almost everyday, I revisit the transcripts often when I want easy access to the dialogue. The Princeton tapes might actually be my favorite part of the everymanHYBRID lore. It's so important to everything you need to know for the whole series and it helps explain so much, especially when it comes to vinnie as character.

the Princeton tapes have so much to offer and I think it's such a shame that this fandom chooses to ignore all the effort that the everymanHYBRID guys put into this series. The Princeton tapes has never failed to make me emotional HELP. it's beautiful shit. So I'm so sorry anon I literally cannot agree with this at all because the Princeton tapes are my absolute everything. I genuinely relate to Princeton Vinnie (& also Roger) more than I might relate to anyone on the channel. They're so real, and I wish more than anything they were more than tapes but at the same time I love it so much it's so perfect.

Also while during my most recent rewatch I've realized that in the series HABIT himself will use quote's and shit that Princeton Vinnie himself has said.

This one always sticks out to me, because it feels like habit pulled those words RIGHT out of Vinnies mouth only to in turn use them on him. Of course the Lexi video predates when the tapes came out, but canonically the tapes happened WAYYYYY before this, considering it takes place in the late 80s.

this goes with my idea that HABIT himself has probably had access to those tapes (atleast at some point) and he did he's research on Mr everyman here. but that one is just my personal opinion and I don't expect people to agree.

While people think that the Princeton tapes are daunting and take too long, they're literally shorter than emh as a whole series if ur watching the right shit.

these videos are basically the full in depth EMH lore and it has videos in it that long since been deleted.

If you're getting into everymanHYBRID and you're not getting into all the lore and then you're gonna go an act like you know everything it's genuinely so??? because you're literally missing out on KEY information.

like did you guys know habit IS in the tapes 😱😱⁉️⁉️⁉️ did you WATCH finding fairmount all the way through????

did you know Evan and Jeff are there ⁉️⁉️⁉️

ALSO ??? PATRICK FROM MLANDERSEN0?????? DUDE???? HES IN THERE. THE RAKE FUCKING TALKS TO VINNIE IN THERE.

did you know that EVEN VINNIES DEAD FUCKING GIRLFRIEND LEXI IS THERE. IT HAS SO MUCH INFO. YOU LEARN WAY MORE SHIT ABOUT FAIRMOUNT AND THE MINETOWN FOUR IN IT. IM GENUINELY SO AT A LOSS RN. HELP IM TOO AUTISTIC FOR THIS ASK. BECAUSE IN NO WORLD WOULD I EVER DREAM OF SKIPPING THE TAPES.

[vvh0adie]

watching my friends leave tumblr is really sad

you literally can't win

at this point the writer's strike should just be a cultural movement

like ppl are writing for FREE and you're complaining about turn out rate and shit

we have lives and some of us (HELL ALL OF US) have some form of mental illness, so we can't be fucking cogs all day and churn out fics.

writing is suppose to be therapeutic and writers want to share that with you to ease the tension of this hellscape we live in

but some of these readers and even fellow writers are taking it too far with the bullying

like its mean and nasty. you don't know what someone is going thru.

instead of asking for updates how about check and see if your writer is mentally stable to do so. that right there is a booster, to have someone say "are you okay?"

and then the whole accusations of favoring a certain member/character. if that person is my muse or safe space then of course imma write for them. most solo writers i see don't even talk bad about other people. its a SOLO account. think of it as a shrine blog of writing if that helps. they're not there to trash, just share their writing for other's who might also share the same muse.

then you have readers who can't separate fiction from reality. just because someone writes a character with irl people faceclaimed onto them doesnt mean they actually think that person would be or do those things irl. i'll be the first to say that i only gave my characters bts faces cuz thats who im attracted to and they're who i imagine would be casted to play my characters.

then IN THE YEAR OF 2023 we still have ppl making fun of their peers writing and also THE FACT THAT ENGLISH MIGHT NOT BE THEIR FIRST LANGUAGE? that's nasty asf. majority of us dont even speak 'proper' english as our first language no way. you only shooting yourself in the foot. don't act like you dont have beta readers... like what are yall on?

and anybody who gets on THAT BLOG behind anon is an opp. not just to the writing community but in how you interact with the world all together. yall don't know how to talk to people anymore? it may have started as a place for critique and accountability but no one is bringing receipts or critical thinking anymore. its mainly for drama and not rehabilitation. yall serious scare me in how we'd see the reality of social change applied to the real world. like i'd be more scared to let yall around the prisoners with minor offenses cuz yall act like its the end of the world and that change cant happen. yall give nobody room to change ignorant stances but ignore the real egregious shit because you honestly dont have the bandwidth to take on actual fascist views.

also the plagiarism has got to stop too. if you need writing resources just ask. but practice makes perfect. so you're gonna have to write yourself. you may not like your writers voice but you will feel shitty in the long run when you don't feel like its you putting those words on the paper. it literally just prolongs your inferiority. make something you're proud of and don't hurt your fellow writers. we went thru the process just like you. we earned it. and most of us aren't gatekeepers, we will help you.

like its really tuff being on here sometimes. cuz if you not being hounded by readers its your own community praying on your down fall.

we have to do better.

[old-school-butch]

Gender and sports

I'm not going to reply directly to my dumb and dumber anons about women's boxing but just say this: women and men are biologically distinct. There's no reason that we are discussing this without knowing the genetic information and the hormonal profile of the boxers involved. No. Reason. At. All.

It is purely the result of trans activist lawyers that closed ranks around Castor Semenya (who is a man as we now know, but they wanted to generate the same uncertainty around him that they are making now) that forces these dumb arguments by saying it violated athletes privacy to disclose the true nature of their gender. It does not. It's clear and evident and it's offensive to women to pretend that gender is some kind of impossible question that can only be answered with official statements like 'she lives as a woman'. We don't care. A sport is something you do with your body. Your competitors deserve to know about the body involved.

If you are a man who has a disorder of sexual development, so sad too bad, you will not do well in sports against men who are revving on the full T profile because testosterone is fucking incredible when it comes to muscle, bone and cardio development. That's why athletes cheat with testosterone and not by taking extra estrogen.

If you're a woman who identifies as a man and who takes a buttload of T and competes against men, no one cares because you still won't do well because your organs, bones and muscles still developed as a female for most of your life. Seriously, that's the Olympic rules on transmen, it's like 'lol, ok ladies good luck' - look them up.

If you are a woman who has a disorder of sexual development (DSD), you might do very well in sports, assuming the regulations about testosterone don't trip you up and yes that does include hormones acquired to treat your condition which, by the way, would include most women who have the more serious DSDs.

Intersex men and intersex women are not the same. This term actually describes so many different conditions that it's a bit absurd to use much less act like they create similar conditions in men and women. And there is no such thing as a human hermaphrodite who sexually matures as both male and female - for all those clownfish aficionados out there.

Intersex women do not go through male puberty (with all its advantages) because why would they?, it's male organs that drive male puberty - but they don't always go through female puberty either (with all its disadvantages) because that's why it's called a disorder. Many people with serious DSDs NEED hormonal intervention to develop healthy bodies. If a woman is lucky enough to have the specific disorder of sexual development (DSD) that means she doesn't go through female puberty but still has enough hormones for her organs to develop normally and her bones not turn to dust and somehow develop a high muscular response then yeah, she will develop differently than most women. Even luckier, she might have more testosterone than most women - and well, then she's playing a fair game in bringing the body she was born with to the game. A woman is a human adult female. All human adult females who haven't altered their bodies in a way that creates a competitive advantage is playing a fair game.

If you are male, good luck but you don't belong in women's sports.

If you're a woman then you can bring the body you were born with to the game. And we have a right to know if you didn't.

[crumblinggothicarchitecture]

tbh it's not just insinuation of you doing some class discrimination that is gross, other things listed by them as accusations towards you are at least equaly as disgusting, if not more. "ableism, classism, racism" i'm sorry, i didn't know swift is disabled, poor or non-white, oh wait, she is neither of these. yes, grammar policing can be used to discriminate, but when it's used to punch down people, who actually belong to these categories.

also there are literal college courses focused solely on swift's writing, but you as someone with english lit degree can't do some grammar analysis on your private blog? is other anon as offended about these courses and sending them emails about how discriminatory it is to pick apart someone's writing? of course not, because the only people, who would spend money an that type of a course are rich ts fandom cultists, who wouldn't say anything, that might be actually critical about swift. also anon doesn't actually care about picking apart someone's writing, they only care about swift's writing being put under some criticism, because otherwise they would be sending offended emails to every school or critic for the crime of literary analysis.

it's almost as if swift trained these people with her never ending victimhood and copying, to look in her name for any struggle to steal whenever she is being criticized. not an ounce of critical thinking or just common sense to look at it for a second and realize that these don't apply to swift. "so yeah not a good look" yeah, but not on crumblinggothicarchitecture

Sorry, this took a minute for me to get to <3. I appreciate this perspective. I didn't even mention that in the ask, but it's so weird to accuse someone of being racist, ableist, classicist just because I analyzed Taylor Swift’s poor grammar. Swift is the one who calls herself a writer and claims she one of the best writers on the planet right now. So, it stands to reason that I would use my English Degree to analyze her grammar if, for any reason, I felt she actually wasn't a good writer.

If I say that someone isn't a good writer. I'm not going to just state that and leave it there. Obviously, it's on me to effectively argue my point. I do, however, have ways to argue my point. So, naturally, I will get into some linguistic or literary criticism of Swift.

I'm not sure that Grammar-Anon really understands what I am trying to do here. Besides, I think you're right about them not knowing that linguistics is an actual academic discipline. Are the people who dedicate their whole lives to studying and teaching grammar also being racist, ableist, and classicist? LOL.

The English language is such a beautiful medium for expression. It's one of my favorite languages, among many, to read poetry in because it has such an amazing breadth of vocabulary words with which to express emotion. In most linguistic study, it is the mechanism of language itself that scholars pull into study. Fascinating stuff- and people study it all. There are scholars whose life's work revolves around understanding AAVE dialects, or understanding Louisiana Cajun dialects, or understanding mid-Atlantic dialects, or Jewish-New York regionalisms. This is just a short list of regionalist dialects I've personally read about in the last few months- however, the list is expansive and covers much more than just the American continent. For instance, there is a whole subset of academic study centered on the post-colonialist use of English Language in India. Scholarship in this field often takes into account feminist theory, Marxist theory, or Post Colonialist theory. (Again, I just listed my favorites, but there are many more theoretical lenses through which people study the impact of grammatical praxis).

This is something people make into their whole life's work- it's not somehow offensive to participate in low-stakes grammatical analysis of Taylor Swift.

You're right, some people just can't handle the idea of putting her work under the microscope because it would impact their narrow-world view if someone said actually Swift is a bad, unoriginal writer. Imagine the meltdown if twitter Swifties found me :O

I've been giving Swift a pass for years, mostly because I would dismiss her music as simple pop-music. It's meant to be fun. I would listen to it, because it was an easy break from the dense, challenging stuff I would read for classes. However, now I'm going to tear apart Swifts work. It's the principle of the matter now because she seems to think she's the greatest American poet to ever live. I am both bored, as summer approaches and I have nothing else to work on, and frustrated that she's pretending to be a poet.

She's not a tortured genius. She's a trust fund baby who got as far as she did on mediocrity because of her parents' money. We "wouldn't last an hour in the asylum" where they raised her- Ha. She wouldn't last a second working a part-time job after school to pay rent. I get upset when people accuse me of some type of classist's attitude purely because I use my education when they know nothing about my story. I got a lucky break.

Education is my road out of abject poverty. Nothing else was going to save me. I did it all on my own, with the help of a bunch of scholarships, lucky breaks, and really wonderful teachers. Now, in my real life, I am the teacher now. I want to root for people. I critique for the sake of wanting people to improve their skills.

Taylor Swift's arrogant attitude and unwillingness to face criticism just gets under my skin. So, what do I do? I'm not fond of ad hominem attacks. Instead, I will make some good arguments about her bad writing and have some fun in the process. :)

So yeah- I guess it's not a good look.

[nrc-broadcasting]

hey hey hey good morning or ig afternoon or night or evening depends on when you see this-

same anon who requested for Harlan here, the Siamese cat twins i mentioned are different ones! i understand the confusion tho and ig i shouldve mentioned who they were lol sorry- im pretty sure a LOT of people have ocs based on them- (if you're curious, their names are siddell and amani haha)

uh but,,,, another? if you dont mind sorry this is just fun-

≪✧≫

Hello uh haha how to tell a certain crocodile to please stop blabbing about Malleus all the time (no offense to Malleus he's wonderful) and to stop belittling humans all the time too because oh wow my self esteem going 📉📉📉📉 anyway thank you 🥲 ~ Y. "Akuma" Nakamoto

You Need To Calm Down; You’re Being Too Loud

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“Ah. Zigvolt,” Yuu says unenthusiastically.

“Since you’re asking, I’m assuming you don’t want to confront him directly? I mean, I’d understand but I’d still want to confirm that this is what you’re doing,” They pause and stare at the ask, leaning back in their chair as they think.

“Anyways,” they shake their head and wave their hand, sitting up properly.

“He’d probably just run his mouth if you were to try and confront him, so it’s a hopeless approach.” They sigh.

“The solution I’d suggest is asking either Silver or Lilia to talk to him and try to make him a bit less… specist.” They hesitate.

“It’s an undeniable fact that he really does need to calm down sometimes. He’s more often than not a bit too loud, but maybe I just a bit less tolerance because I easily get headaches from loud sounds.” They shrug before humming.

“But if both the Lilia and Silver approaches don’t work, you can just subtly poke at his weak spots yourself. It either by point out the fact he’s also half human himself, or by implying he’s acting the exact opposite of how a royal retainer should.

“But take note this is a 50/50 thing. It’s either he finally clamps his mouth shut in horror and silently walks away to reflect,” Yuu takes a deep breath, exasperated at the thought of their next words.

“Or you end up lighting a bomb and he just gets more loud,” they smile awkwardly.

“Yep.” They purse their lips.

“Anyway, I’d suggest bringing Lilia along if you want to try, since he can rein in his son better than most people.”

“And to address the self esteem issue, I’d like to offer some words,” Yuu says.

“Sebek’s… questionable remarks undoubtedly stem from his own insecurities and anxieties due to being half-human. Yes, he’s hard to understand, but it’s very likely an unchecked defense mechanism.”

“He rejects humans because he thinks his heritage as a human makes faes look down at him. Since you have your own insecurities, another viable approach it to try and empathize with him.

“…which, will be another 50/50,” they scratch their head.

“Because it’s either he mellows out a bit and listens, or he gets offended you’re trying to compare what he thinks is your trivial problems to his.

“So again, if you plan to attempt any of these solutions, Lilia’s presence is kind of necessary.” They smile apologetically.

“Despite having called what I just discussed ‘solutions’, I’ll admit to you I also don’t know an effective way to approach Sebek.”

“The least I could do is suggest and simulate some situations where a confrontation takes place.”

“I sincerely hope this helps you. Sebek might be loud, but he isn’t unreasonable.”

“And please, have some confidence in yourself. That’s all from me for this ask,” Yuu smiles apologetically.

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Our fairytale has come to an end.

[imagineanime2022]

S/O Who Celebrates The Day Of The Dead

Shigaraki X Reader, Dabi X Reader, Mr Compress X Reader, Spinner X Reader

Requested: Anon

Request: Since October is coming up soon, I was thinking what is the league of villains had a S/O who’s quirk is “Catrina” (which is a female day of the dead skeleton) and she celebrates ‘El Dia de los mortals’ which is Spanish for “the Day of the dead” because I know some people celebrate that instead of Halloween and I just thought it would be an interesting idea?

A/N: I am sorry if I have offended anyone with anything that is in this piece, I'm the most British person that you will ever meet so I don't know a lot about this celebration of what is encompassed in celebrating it, I tried to stay as generic as possible as not to offend anyone but that being said if there is anything that is wrong or offensive please let me know so that I can change it 😁

Hero Ver, Student Ver

Tomura Shigaraki

🖐 Probably knew what The Day Of The Dead was but he doesn’t have any in depth knowledge of it, mostly because he didn’t know anyone who celebrated it, until you came along. 🖐 He’s not going to ask any questions but he’ll listen to what you're saying, and might tell you that he has no reason to celebrate, since he doesn’t mourn anyone that has died. 🖐 If you catch him at the right time he might humour you by sitting with you while you create a memorial for all of the people you’ve lost. 🖐 You won’t always have him there but he’d never try to stop you from celebrating even if you ended up taking up his space to do it.

Shigaraki walked down into the bar frowning at the bright colours and the skulls that decorated the interior “what is going on?” He asked Kurogiri who was cleaning a glass behind the bar. “Ask (Y/N) they’re the one who’s decorating.” Kurogiri answered as he gestured to you, Shigaraki only then noticed you in the corner of the room trying to put something up, paper flowers. “What are you doing?” Shigaraki asked as he walked over to where you were. “I’m just decorating…” You answered “you don’t have to worry about it, you’ve already said that there is no one dead that you wish to celebrate.” “Mmm.” Shigaraki hummed. “That’s today?” “It is.” You nodded. “I’m just making a memorial for the people that I’ve lost, I won’t bother you.” “I never said that you were bothering anyone.” Shigaraki said and you looked at him and shrugged as he moved back over to the bar and sat down taking out his game. “You know my mum used to say that they could see you, hear you when you made these memorials, they were here with us, they’re supposed to walk with us on this day.” You explained. “I wonder if they would be disappointed.” “Disappointed?” He asked. “I thought this was supposed to be a celebration, why are you getting sad?” “So you do listen when I talk about all this.” You smiled and he rolled his eyes. “If you are going to take up space doing this, then do it right.” He ordered, he didn’t mean a single word of that, he would have let you do whatever you wanted.

Dabi

🔥 Dabi knows what the day of the dead is and honestly he liked the celebration more than the typical halloween that was more commonly celebrated, that being said he probably wouldn’t tell you that. 🔥 He’ll ask questions in a sort of antagonistic way, he wants to know about the tradition but he’s not in the right frame of mind to just ask, so if you could answer the questions without getting too annoyed at him it’ll work out well for both of you. 🔥 You're likely to have your own apartment so he’d probably find his way around when you were celebrating. 🔥 I don’t think he’d be too picky about the food he eats, open to trying new things if the person that made them was trustworthy, so he’d definitely eat whatever you make, but good luck if he likes something because you literally won’t get any of it.

Dabi walked into the apartment rolling his eyes at the fact that you front door was never locked, he looked over the living room and before long his eyes fell on the small memorial in the corner of the room, he noticed that all of his favourite foods littered the space around where he assumed a picture would go, instead there was a painted skull that had beautiful designs where he knew his scars were on his face. “Oh I didn’t know that you were here.” You said as you walked out of the kitchen. “Maybe you should lock your door, then you’d know who was in your house.” He answered as he looked over at the memorial “should I be worried?” “What?” You asked with a frown before finally looking where he was. “Oh! No I just… Everytime that I ask you who you were before this, you tell me it doesn’t matter because the kid that you were died, so this time I decided that I’d celebrate the boy that died to make you because without him I wouldn’t have ever met you.” You explained, he looked at you for a second “I just never had a picture of you when you were younger to put on there so I… Just put your favourite food on there and well… I was going to celebrate the way I had every other year.” “You don’t even know that kid.” Dabi rolled his eyes. “I know parts of him, the parts that were strong enough to live on, I know the person that his anger, fear and pain made, I only hope that with the celebration of his death it will give time for his happiness, love and wonder to be reborn.” You explained. “I’ve always wanted to know him and every year I’ll show what’s left of him that I am waiting to meet him when he is ready to introduce himself.” “And if he’s never ready?” Dabi asked, his throat almost felt like it was closing, he wanted to end this conversation but he worried that he would lose you if he did. “Then I will find comfort in knowing that he once existed.” You answered with a smile, you walked over pressing a kiss to his cheek, clearing throat before turning back to the kitchen “come in when you're ready or leave if that makes you feel more comfortable.” You said softly, you meant no malice just giving him a choice before turning back into the kitchen leaving him alone but you were only in there for a second before hands found their way onto your hips. “You think words are enough to scare me off?” He asked, “I’ll tell you one day, I promise you that.” “A promise is good enough.” You assured him.

Mr Compress

🔮 Compress honestly knows quite a bit about the day of the dead, mostly because the first time he met you he connected your villain costume to the holiday. 🔮 He still asks questions because he loves to see you talk about it, see how happy you are when you talk through everything. You could say the same thing 3 times and he would nod along like it was the first time that you said it. 🔮 He’ll take the time to celebrate with you, if you have stories to tell or places to visit he’ll go with you, mask off and all, he’s here for you. 🔮 Helps you to decorate, never complains and let’s to run the day, no matter what it is that you want to do.

You had been up for a little while, you had made breakfast for when Atsuhiro woke up and you started decorating the small apartment that you shared, you were humming to yourself as you held up two different decorative flowers. “(Y/F/C) one is better.” Atsuhiro’s voice sounded from behind you before his arms wrapped around you. “You're awake.” You smiled “good morning.” “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to oversleep.” He said softly. “You didn’t oversleep, I’m just up early.” You assured him. “You should have woken me.” He muttered, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. “Why would I wake you up?” You asked. “I want to help you.” He answered. “It’s okay, you can still help me, but you don’t have to, you know.” You reminded him and he looked at you as if you said something outrageous. “It doesn't matter if I have to or not I want to.” He said and you looked at him, eyebrows raised “I want to help you, I love you and anything that is important to you is important to me.” “Are you seriously offended?” You asked. “Yes my dear I am.” He answered, you could feel the smirk pressed against the skin of your shoulder. “Well I’m so sorry, how about you help me finish the decorations and then we can have breakfast, there is a small festival being held close by for Day of the dead that we can go to as well.” You explained as you carefully placed the flowers that he had chosen on the shelf that you were decorating. “That sounds like a plan.” He said as he squeezed you a little tighter “as long as you still have stories to tell.” “Always.” You promised as you looked at the man finally connecting your lips “now help me finish up so that we can have breakfast.” “Always.” He promised, leaning down to help you with the decorations.

Spinner

🦎 Spinner probably doesn’t know a lot about the holiday but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want to learn. 🦎 Always apologises in case he offended you when he asks a question and listens intently when you answer him. 🦎 He’s not against the make up, he worried the first time though because he thought that his scales and face shape would ruin it, when you were finished though he liked what you had done and even the fact that people weren’t staring at him like they usually did. 🦎 If you loved to cook he’d love to learn, maybe one day he could make food for you on the holiday that you love.

You groaned as you opened the door, you hated that Shigaraki had tasked you with a stake out mission the night before you were supposed to be celebrating The Day Of The Dead. You scratched the back of your head as you walked into the kitchen to look through the cupboard groaning when you realised that you would need to go out before you could actually start the celebration tomorrow “your back.” Shuichi said as he appeared at the door to the kitchen. “Hmm.” You hummed. “Come on, you must be tired.” He said softly. “I just need to make a list of all the things I need for tomorrow, I was supposed to get them today but then everything happened.” You explained and he shook his head. “We can make the list in the morning and then we can go and get them.” Shuichi said, reaching out to you “don’t worry I’ll help you, everything will be fine tomorrow.” “I can-” “Nothing is open now anyway, we’ll just go early.” He cut you off and you knew that he was right, so you reached out, taking his hand and heading to bed.

You took in a deep breath as you woke up, you reached out to the other side of the bed and found that it was empty, you frowned as you looked over, you rubbed your eyes before getting up, you walked into the kitchen and smiled as you looked around at the decorations that were all around the house, “You decorated the house?” You asked as your eyes fell on Shuichi across the kitchen. “You had a late night, I thought I could help, I hope it’s right.” He said scratching the back of his head as you walked towards him, you smiled as you leaned up nuzzling into him. “It’s perfect.” You said as you looked at the counter. “What were you doing?” “I was getting everything we needed for the food, I had to go out and grab some things, I think I got everything so that we could start cooking, I can’t do that part without you.” “Really?” You asked and he nodded. “I’m sure you know more than you think you do.” You said as you walked over and looked over the ingredients. “You got everything that we need.” “I’m working on it.” He nodded as he watched you turn back towards the bedroom. “Let me shower and get dressed and then we’ll get started.” You said and he nodded. “I’ll be waiting.” He promised.

Request Here!!

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hey Cas <33

I'm rlly worried abt my bsf let's name her C

Basically she is a very extroverted person and is like a person who goes with the flow

And she is also friends with like evry1

Now she is starting to make friends with the so called "nice people" they r basically popular but C doesn't care abt popularity she said and I quote "these people bc they don't care abt anything" and I assumed she meant it in like I don't like them type of way big surprise she said that "They are MY kind of ppl" like ok maybe they r popular maybe they r cool but the fact that they don't take anything serious is a big problem. Like Ik ppl joke from time to time but that doesn't mean u will not take ANYTHING serious, wether it be studies or even a secret.

C now has an attitude of not taking ANYTHING seriously and her argument for evth is that "I was just JOKING"

and I hate that!!

Like I am pan. And one day I was sitting with all of ny friends and 3 of them didn't know abt my sexuality and we were talking abt how ppl are hot like uk normal high-schoolers. And i was like yeah even i want some1 (I'm a girl) and C just said y do u care u r gay

I WAS PISSED and the worst thing was there's this guy and there's also this girl who spreads rumors fats like af and C is "friends" with those two assholes and C did tell them jt was a joke but they might Suspect cuz C again made this joke in front of some1 else.

I msgd C saying like Hey I'm not comfortable with it and she did apologize and told me tht she wouldn't do it again But fast forward to nxt day I was talking with her and then she is like give the phone to ur sistes I need to talk to them (my sisters and C hv somewhat id a frndshp I don't understand) I was like ok and the phone was on speaker and she legit just said "Take care of her I think she is gay" and my sister responded with "Yes we know"

Now I haven't come out to my sisters yet and I'm rlly worried and I hope they don't know cuz my sisters are well...homophobic

And then C was like I want to bully some1

I said r u mad??? And then I explained how it's unethical and all

And she said I don't do anything tht is ever ethical

And then I again explained how bullying is wrong

She responded with "I was just joking why did u hv to take it srsly????"

I am in a trio of frndshp with her and pur best friend S I talked to her abt it and we hv decided we will talk to C before she actually does smth.

I'm rlly scared cuz C can take anything as an offense.

I'll update u <33

Sending love :3

Hi hon!

Honestly, I think C doesn't know the difference between being chill and ignoring boundaries. I think you're right to talk to her and tell her she's being a jerk. But if she doesn't take that talk seriously, it might be time to take some space. Outing someone is NOT okay, and it seems like she's making a pattern of breaking boundaries like this, you know? You deserve people who respect your boundaries.

Yes, keep me updated! Naming you chill anon!

[avenpt]

Hi asking a question here because google is not enough I wanted real people’s opinions.

My partner and I have been together for almost 3 years; they are asexual, I’m not but I don’t care for having a relationship with sex anyway, that’s not important to me and I respect the boundaries we’ve established together (ex: we’ve never had sex; we don’t kiss all the time and I wait for them to make the first move if they want to show that kind of affection; we sleep in different beds and both enjoy the space). We have a romantic relationship, but I feel a disconnect sometimes and most recent events have led me to question wether or not they might be aromantic as well.

I understand aromanticism is on a spectrum, I’m wondering how and if I should ask them about it and from my experience I know there are right and wrong ways to ask questions related to LGBTQIA+ topics.

I just don’t know how to ask them if they would prefer us to keep being a couple or if they don’t feel the same way I do about our relationship and if I need to change something I do if it makes them unhappy or uncomfortable. Whatever their response is I would respect it and their boundaries, even if it means that we simply stay friends (we have been friends since 2010 I value their friendship very much).

Basically, how do I go about asking them without being unintentionally rude/offensive and without sounding like I’m saying “you don’t seem to love me like I love you”? I just want them to be happy in life and in our relationship, whatever the relationship ends up as. I also don’t want to accidentally pressure them into showing affection they might not want to get into because they think that’s what I meant. I just want to know where were at.

PS for more context: From what I understand when we started dating they didn’t know they were asexual, we talked about it so that’s why I know but we never talked about aromanticism. I’m trans non-binary and pansexual, they are also trans and initially said they were also pan or bi, but I haven’t asked more info of it and it hasn’t come up naturally. I’m also not sure they would outright say something about aromanticism because we both have this issue where we are scared of talking about deep feelings and emotions unless someone asks us direct questions. Otherwise we have good communication it just takes some time to find the right questions to ask.

Any advice?

Hello, anon. Thank you for reaching out! First off, you sound like an awesome partner, wanting to be understanding and respectful of your partner. I mean, that is how people *should* be, but they aren't always like that. So this is great you're taking the time to find out what is best.

Your partner could be aro-spec, and I understand you wanting to know how to go about this so you know that you're not making them uncomfy or anything. Aro-spec people can be in romantic relationships--I just wanted to put that out there first. It is just like aces being in sexual relationships. So your partner might be fine with how things are, even if they are aro.

If you would like to talk to them, perhaps you could bring it up in this way..."I know that you're ace, but have you also ever related to the term 'aromantic'? I just want to make sure I'm not making you uncomfortable by being in a romantic relationship. I want to learn and be the best partner I can be." Or something along those lines. That way, you allow them to say if they can relate, and also you're not putting anything on them (like making anything out to be their fault).

Best wishes to you!! Just do what you can. I hope it works out. :)

[olderthannetfic]

https://olderthannetfic.tumblr.com/post/744363402559995904/reading-the-anon-abt-the-doll-hobby-not-having#notes

More BJD wank.

People using alcohol markers on their dolls. Just... don't.... don't do that. Also, people complaining that the alcohol marker doesn't wash off the doll anymore. Yeah, who'd have guessed that using alcohold markers on a highly porous material would end up not being removable. Also, don't use oils. Do not use any paint strippers that contain oil. And only use water soluble glue.

People who sell some of the most beat up looking dolls, chewed limbs, broken pieces, yellowed to hell and back. And then expect $$$ and even more than full price of a new doll. Generally it's not particularly offensive, but by the Gods if it doesn't get obnoxious when someone starts whining that nobody wants to buy their trash heap.

The fujoshi discussion was also quite ripe. It's no secret that probably 80%+ of the regular BJD hobby is women, and a lot of those women like men. The fujoshi discussion gets brought up ever few months? Years? And it's stupid every time. I remember the most recent incident being started again by a transman who took special offence to the large amount of M/M doll couples, and started getting angry when people dismissed his very misogynistic reasons as to why it's bad. Then tried to flip it around to homophobia and transphobia against him specifically, when all the people just told him to stop treating fujoshi as an insult and blah blah, you know the drill. People didn't buy it that he didn't just wanna admit defeat, but it kinda fizzled out when some other trans people entered the discussion, and some gay/bi men who also said that this was a stupid discourse. Also a few pretty heartfelt experiences by women explaining why they preferred male dolls over female dolls.

"Put a trigger warning on your amputee doll characters." Not a big discourse, but a few people talked about how they had gotten comments or DMs about tagging their dolls who represent amputees with trigger warnings. General consensus was "Fuck those people." To make this extra clear, these were just amputee characters, not horror or gore.

Did I mention Nazi dolls? Because there has been several rounds of drama around Nazi dolls. Most people agree that Nazi dolls, aka full Nazi uniform with the armband are a huge fucking no-go.... BUT, some people try to argue that "Well if you depict the doll as a disgusting pig wearing a Nazi uniform..." Yeah, that was a long wank session.

The honestly kinda an pointless argument about "Are you racist if your dark resin doll face-ups look ass?" The argument is basically around dolls with dark resin tones who receive... unfortunate face-ups. The issue here is that in many cases the people getting called racist are really just bad at doing face-ups, which is especially hard on dark resins because it's hard to layer colors without it looking ass if you don't know what you're doing, and the main medium is just pastel chalks. Combine that with sealants that might leave behind a whiteish sheen with the topcoat, and you end up with a real ashy dusty looking mess. While we're on face-ups, generally a lot of face-ups just objectively look like ass when you're not a professional face-up artist. It's just what happens when you don't know what you're doing and still learning, because you don't wanna spend $$$ on sending it to an actual artist. It's really fucking hard layering colors, and then painting over it to get details when you're just not that experienced yet.

Also thanks to the one person in my last anon mentioning "Dollshe" and his wait times: Dollshe is a doll maker who's infamous for his year long wait times, and constant "sales." Apparently the dude bought himself a big fancy car, while people were still waiting for their dolls. Some wait times have exceeded half a decade. Guess what though! People still decided to take the chance. He's apparently closed shop now, and there are probably high double or low triple digits of people who haven't gotten their dolls yet. Not sure what his average price point is/was, but a quick check, the front page is filled with dolls starting at 800 going up. (So like 700-1 500) https://olderthannetfic.tumblr.com/post/744582859159945216/744363402559995904reading-the-anon-abt-the-doll-h#notes Also, yes, Anon is 100% correct. Smartdolls are basically just considered "honorary" BJD's because they fall under the same idea as the VOLKs dolfie dreams, and their creator just copied the idea. But generally, most people wouldn't refer to SMD's when speaking about BJDs, unless specified. Since they are vinyl you do not have the same artistic freedom as you have with resin dolls, which you can customize heavily with various mediums. They also aren't as available for custom face-ups, and apparently the creator has a bit of an ego problem when it comes to that as well. Another piece of drama: The joints of these dolls are internal skeletons as already explained. The problem a lot of people faced is that the joints would break quickly during posing. Under normal circumstances you'd maybe assume you could get some customer service to replace the broken joint, or at least be able to buy one for free. WRONG. You had(have?) to buy the entire skeleton just to replace one broken joint. I also think there was a time where you couldn't even get a replacement skeleton, and were left with a broken doll. Fun fact: Originally the "Smartdolls" were also supposed to be robotic, that's what the "Smart" originally referred to. That then got downgraded to a concept doll that got a bit of automated head shaking and limb moving, which then ended up with the creator backtracking and claiming "Smart" stood for "Social media art doll." Also, while we're at it, he also made a cochlear implant disability device for his dolls. A pretty significant amount of HOH/Dead-BJD people criticized the inclusion of said device because of some medical issues of it. And guess what! Banhammer. I also re-checked the story of the disabled person who got banned, and then made the creator post a "They aren't made for disabled people." The doll the disabled person struggled with was a male doll, but because the male dolls were so rare, they didn't have a male skeleton, but the female standard. Meaning the skeleton inside the male doll shell was female, and the skeleton didn't properly match up with the vinyl male-doll shell. Which was one of the main reason they struggled so badly to reattach the limbs. Bonus story: The creator has a real culty following, he has/had joined a few facebook groups around smartdolls. Apparently people noticed a pattern that he'd throw random tantrums in the groups, leave, and then the entire group had to grovel and praise him to get him to rejoin.

--

[beetlebethwrites]

I feel like i get where that Eve/Matt hating anon is coming from since i do get the feeling some people might get that the player character is interrupting a relationship of sorts, even if Eve is over Matt, and Matt's the only one with unrequited feelings.

THAT SAID i do not think speaking as if the if is trash and just putting you down because of the choices YOU decided to make on YOUR Interactive fiction is cool. Not at all.

It's okay to express an opinion, but the moment you decide to be agressive to the people you are trying to prove your point to, that opinion stops being valid.

Okay this is getting kinda rambly. But really, i do get feeling as if Mc's kind of a substitute to Eve in some way even if that's not it at all, as i struggle a little when these kinds of situations happen in Ifs, but just don't do that. I mean, i understand you're jealous of Eve/Matt, but at the end of the day, those are fictional characters, whose fates or traits you don't get to decide based on your liking, so we should just try and be respectful.

By the way, i hope you don't take any of this as an offense. Just an anon hot take tbh.

Have a lovely day/night/afternoon, i love your if <3

Thank you for coming in and not being ridiculous about it.

The thing is that I've already written Matt and Eve's history into the IF and that anon clearly didn't notice? There are a couple of throwaway comments about it and Matt treats Eve better than he treats anyone else, even when she's disagreeing with him but that's where it's going to end at.

I'm fine with people not liking the choices I've made for my characters within my project but if you didn't notice the throwaway lines already, you're not going to be affected going forward.

Again, thank you for giving a measured anon and allowing me to make a slightly more measured response, I hope you continue to enjoy YLAF! 💛

[rodolfoparras]

Pinky promise I will write more for the concept of turning homophobic dude into your puppy and breeding bitch as soon as I have time. I also wanted to write you something for your birthday but I genuinely don't have time at all 😔

Since my co-worker is on vacation and we only work one shift (aka mine) I am swarmed the entire day and I have cried from stress nearly every day this week and I basically never cry. Also I had customer yell at me and threaten me two days ago and I was certain he would attack me?? He might've if another customer didn't walk in and it was for his mistake too. And when I tried to tell him that and offer to correct it, he got worse. Thankfully my manager is really nice and he told me I could've called him and police and that I should next time.

I really miss being here and every day and interacting with people but like...I barely see my dog because most of them home is spent sleeping. And the play I'm in is in like two weeks and I didn't have time or energy to properly learn my lines yet and we're supposed that have rehearsals before work next week and ngl I feel like throwing myself off of the building. (And I didn't even start with my final paper for college). Also I had bit of a cold and hell of a sore throat, I could barely speak and it hurt to swallow :((

There was so much I wanted to talk about and comment on but I literally don't have energy to type and I wish I could psychically send my thoughts to my phone. I hope you're doing better than I am though ✨🫶🏻 I'm on a hunt for less stressful job, hopefully something online so I can do it when I start college again this year (after two years).

(and side note but I love the idea of period sex but in reality because of my pcos and other problems, I am in way too much pain to do anything irl which sucks. But there are fanfics and roleplaying 😌 and the anon who mentioned this and said they have vampire thing are so real, me too bestie. And thank you for providing links of my husband, trans Simon is elite)

-🔮

Dw sugar bee!! You pop in whenever you have time!! And besides I appreciate the fact that you wanted to write me something sweet in the first place as we say down there it’s like you already did it so thank you lovey!

Sugar bee :(( that sounds absolutely horrible I’m so sorry angel customer service can be hell on earth especially down in the Balkans they really should have security work alongside cashier bc that’s what they do here you never know what can happen you know it’s okay to feel upset about it and cry it out just rmr that it was his fault and customers in general can be devils my cousin worked at a store for a short period of time and she says every time she passes it she gets physically sick bc ppl can be so nasty

And again like I said pop in whenever you can I understand you’re very busy rn and I hope things become less stressful so you can get some rest and spend time with your baby and of course to pop in here but I also have to say I admire you for balancing a job school and hobbies bc personally I wouldn’t be able to withstand this 😭

I also hope you get a much easier job so you don’t get burn out no offense but isn’t life crazy like you’re doing everything that’s expected of us have a job do school hobbies and you’re on the verge of getting burned out every day I am reminded of the hell on earth this is our society

Fanfics and roleplaying are definitely a good way to go about it! I mean might as well take the chance and have a vampire role play with your partner I mean who said that :/

[our-trans-punk-experience]

Mohawk anon here, actually it's a lie that I got all my info from Wikipedia, I did some digging before hand and found this article kinda useful https://www.popsugar.com/beauty/mohawk-hairstyle-history-48916724 look idk if u care abt this topic, it was completely stressing me out yesterday in a way I don't think is entirely normal (idk I think I'm starting to treat politics like religion in the way I berate myself as if I have sinned) I know anything more complicated than a yes or no answer on this topic will never be enough to suffice for me I feel like such a bad leftist and a hypocrite, like I'm happy to change myself when I learn my behaviour is wrong bit not for something that actually matters a lot to me, like I care about my hair SO much and I want to keep it SO much bit I don't want to live with guilt over something that may not be an issue or is at the least a very complex one. Have you ever dealt with anything like this and am I a bad person for feeling this way?

Ok hello, first I would like you to take some deep breaths.

[For context anon sent me two asks in a row, the first being an ask over whether mohawks were offensive to wear, in the same tone as above post]

I am not Native American, but I have been around the scene a while and seen a variety of takes on this. I'll open this ask obviously to corrections but from pretty much everything I've ever seen or experienced, no the hairstyle you refer to is not offensive to wear. It's not a closed practice, and tbh the way that punks style it is so different to any sort of traditional cut that the name "mohawk" is the only thing that still ties it to indigenous people.

Obviously exceptions apply if you were say, wearing it as a "costume" to mock native people, but having a 'hawk as a punk has not ever seemed to offend anyone for being any sort of cultural appropriation.

Second point, while I thank you for having the self awareness to realise that you've started to treat political correctness like a religion and that that's not great, I suggest you maybe go further with that and start doing the work to move forward from that?

I get how hard it can be, especially as someone who when growing up would often have their words taken wildly out of context and spun to make me look awful. You feel defensive, you feel like you could be swooped on at any moment for something you didn't even know was wrong. It is awesome you don't want to hurt people, but take some time to self develop so if you ever do accidentally do or say something out of line, you'll be able to fix it and move on without feeling like you're gonna get dammed to hell?

You're not a bad person for having anxious thoughts about fucking up socially. You're not a bad person for wanting to keep a hairstyle you love while worrying it might be appropriation. But try and not define whether you're a bad person on how PC an Internet dude says you are OK? You care, and that's amazing, so keep on growing, and don't ever feel like you're damned for not knowing all the answers.

[inchidentally]

I don't think Oscar and lando is good friends. They might be friends but not good friends. Their characteristics are so different they just can't become besties.

I'm unable to read tone from asks anon so I'm going to lean toward this not being intended in a bad way!

(also quick apology bc some of these asks have answers that overlap so I'm repeating myself a lot - block "inchreplies" to be spared lol)

the first thing to clear up is the idea that to be best friends you have to like the same things or be similar people which I personally (jokingly) take huge offense about. my entire tightest friend group consists of none of us agreeing on ANYTHING. if anything liking someone just because you're similar means you've got less of a friendship than people who love each other regardless of what you perceive as terrible takes on things. obv I'm talking about frivolous shit and not like human rights etc.

but also reminder: Lando doesn't have besties in F1. not one. the whole car|ando encroaching on his own brand that he's worked extremely hard for all on his own is definitely wearing thin on him and it's clearly why he was a bit iffy doing the whole let's do a really obvious bromance schtick with Daniel sometimes. so he's making it very clear that there are some guys he spends down time with in F1… and then there are his real private life non-professional friends. but professionally as a driver, Lando is Lando. he's not one half of anything and he's not another driver's creation or admirer. he is F1 driver Lando Norris, then a McLaren driver, then a teammate, and wayyyy down below that are the guys on the grid he hangs with sometimes (Carlos, Daniel, Max, Charles, Yuki, sometimes Lewis).

so in terms of if Oscar and Lando are good friends I think it would be hard to class anyone on the grid as Lando's "good friend" and not just a friend. Ga|ex is really the only F1 pairing I'd refer to as good friends and not just guys who seek each other out to chat during down time, but who actually cross over into the winter break as well. I don't follow the whole grid super closely but I can definitely say Lando doesn't have anything to do with guys like Carlos and Daniel if it's not to fill time during racing weekends. Lando is a businessman and a lot of us forget that because he's so open and often relatable but this dude is a CEO, a content creator and a top F1 driver - his life is FULL. his real closest friendships are happening off the clock and the most we see of those friendships are caught on his streams and sometimes his videos just with Max.

honestly part of what a lot of us really like about the landoscar friendship is that they've gone completely against the grain of the usual bromance/PR thing that new teammates do and they're just being themselves. Lando cannot hide a single thing on his face and his mouth isn't much better at it so the fact that he is always smiling and happy around Oscar is as genuine proof as you can get that he likes Oscar. even despite (or maybe partly because of?) Oscar being so quiet and calm and unlike the other drivers on the current grid. and the fact that Lando has gone through the entire LN4 Spectrum of Different Moods and Emotions around Oscar and Oscar just seems to want to study Lando like a bug he is particularly fond of is also genuine since that boy wouldn't perform for the cameras without a gun to his head.

but tbh anon more important than that is that Lando is no longer the rookie playing second fiddle to a seasoned driver and he isn't the baby brother to a PR darling, he's Mr. McLaren and he's got his own rookie who looks up to him. which is about damn time for someone who's been in F1 for 5 years. AND they've already had a fiercely competitive first season together where they've both responded with respect and maturity to people desperate to stir things up between them. if that doesn't result in them playing gay for the cameras or having shared hobbies then I can't really say I care.

and while I absolutely think we should all enjoy any rpf we want in the privacy of tumblr's lack of an algorithm or popular appeal, publicly I kiiiiind of feel like it's time for Lando to no longer be defined by bromances or have to answer about them. I'd even lean a bit into saying maybe he's done with that as well. so landoscar not having the usual bromancey corporate engagement hashtag appeal feels pretty comfortable.

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia! Do you have some advices to deal with 'this one opinion'?. When everyone likes your stuff and you are happy with it too, but this one person didn't like/said smth bad, and then you are in spiral that everyone's pretending and actually this one just had the balls to say the truth? I'm struggling and you are in this for a long time, so maybe you have some advices? Take care <3

Hi anon!

It might help to know a little bit of science here.

Humans have what's called an in-built negativity bias. This means that when two things exist, one negative, and one positive, of equal weight, humans will biologically/cognitively automatically give the negative one a lot more weight. No one escapes this, and you're experiencing something extremely universal.

Human beings are also likely to think that negative words are more negative than often intended, and that positive words are less positive than intended.

Because this is in-built, it often requires conscious work to overcome. Many authors on AO3 as an example know the experience of one shitty comment 'undoing' how good all the previous comments felt. It only takes one person saying 'I really didn't like this story' for many authors to trick themselves into thinking this a) must then be universally true and then b) no one else actually likes the story or it doesn't mean anything to them, even when there's literally words right there that strongly suggest otherwise.

The first thing is to acknowledge your negativity bias and that your brain is kind of lying to you. It's doing this to try and protect you from harm, but in a way that's actually hurting you, because brains do stuff that don't actually help us all the time. The reality is that the vast majority of people do not waste their time and 'lie' in comments about how much they like something, because everyone has more important things to do in their life. They're only going to say something positive, for the most part, if they think what they've experienced is positive enough to warrant that. This is more and more true the less well you know someone.

The second thing is to then remind yourself that something negative isn't more true just because it's negative. This is also negativity bias in action! It feels more true, but emotions =/= actual reality - they're real in that 'they are very real and valid when I feel them, but I might not want to make big decisions about other people's thoughts and actions based on them, especially when negativity bias is active.'

And then the third thing is to just remind yourself that everyone is experiencing this. Right now thousands, maybe tens of thousands of creators - artists, authors, show-writers, poets, comedians, sports people, etc. are literally experiencing this right this second. Anon, all your favourite celebrities have likely experienced this (unless they're complete asshats who don't care about other people). Your favourite writers, artists, and more have experienced this. Would you tell any of those people whose works and creations you love, to listen to the few haters that come after them? Do you think they should go 'oh, that means everyone else is lying to me.'

Of course we feel pretty down sometimes. Because I have the ability to delete negative comments, if I get some hate, I tend to delete it. I don't want to see it again. It's my prerogative because my AO3 account and my Tumblr account etc. are 'my space.' When it comes to hateful book reviews, I...don't read my book reviews anymore and haven't for a long time. (I got misgendered too often, even in the nice reviews, so I just stopped).

And then create like a document or notes page or something to write down the positive things you've heard and actually reread them sometimes.

Sometimes negative comments are actually useful. Someone pointing out an incidence of actual racism (like, unintentional, but still happening) or something that is culturally offensive in a story can help us to consider editing the story or change the way we write about that subject. Someone saying they couldn't read a story because of all the typos, might get us to use some free editing software.

For the most part negative comments aren't worth your time. You can't make everyone like your stuff anon. People are going to hate your stuff. That's reality. It's completely inescapable.

But if more people like or enjoy or love your stuff, that's how you know you're on the right track. <3

If your goals in the world are to have most people enjoy what you do, you're already achieving that. One negative comment feels like a bit of a hit (or a lot of one), but it's a cognitive bias that's quite detached from reality. When you take it really personally, it's often a sign to just disconnect and reconnect with loved ones. Talk to a friend, hang out with a loved one, watch something you really love (and even remind yourself that some people hate that thing lol and you wouldn't want those people to stop what they love doing either because it means you couldn't watch the thing you love otherwise), get some rest. Our brains lie to us more and more loudly if we a) are tired, b) are dehydrated, c) haven't been eating or eating well, d) have certain mental illnesses, e) have certain chronic illnesses that cause pain or fatigue.

So addressing all of these factors can help a bit too.

And, I hate to say it, some of it's just practice. I've been doing this for long enough I've lost count of how many hateful things I've heard about my writing. They all still hurt. Some can ruin my day. Some will make me not write that day. Some still play in the back of my mind when I'm feeling really insecure. But they used to ruin my week or month so, like, progress. *sad smile*

But they're still not the majority of the people who talk to me about my writing therefore... negativity bias in action! Very interesting to know about, very horrible to experience!!