#some of my moots on here because we think the same thing or something but yeahhh. i am holding you all in my hands (lovingly)

[mad-hunts]

okay, but i like how all of the people with superhero accounts and even some villain acc's have universally agreed on the point that barton is a freak + not in the good way. and yeah, i'm being completely serious about this LOL because let's be honest here... the man is a little bit uhh. beyond sillay. he is creepy ☠️ like i'll have y'all know i think you all are iconic for all thinking the same thing because you are SO right. i mean, one of my favorite memes that i've made of barton has to be this one, just because of how accurate it is lmaooo

[hyperfixatinator]

Where is the line?

In the comics, Tim Drake's moral code is an enigma to me, particularly his stance on the Batclan's no-kill rule. For all the fans who say he's always one step away from full blown villainy, there are even more saying he's a strict goody two-shoes who could never stoop that low.

Then there's the different takes on where Tim draws the line between these two extremes. Personally, I find that line hard to pinpoint. Digging for canon demonstrations of his morals has lead me to more questions than answers. My biggest question right now is:

What counts as breaking the no-kill rule in Tim's eyes?

Luckily, the Robins 2021 comics shed some light on this. In issue #3, "Tim", or rather an imposter of him, said that choosing not to save someone isn't the same as killing them, and that letting a villain die can be a way to get justice. Normally, this point would be moot since it's not Tim himself who said it. However, at the end of issue #6, the real Tim clarified that what the imposter said WAS his real opinion on the matter.

Not only that, but Tim has shown this belief through his thoughts and actions before. Twice.

The first time goes all the way back to Robin 1991 #5. During the fight against King Snake, Tim kicked him through a nearby window, fifty stories above the ground. As King Snake's life hung in the balance, Shiva appeared and commanded Tim to kill him.

Tim refused. He walked away, leaving King Snake entirely at Shiva's mercy.

What gets me is that Tim made no move to save King Snake from falling. And he made no effort to stop Shiva from committing the murder, either. His only thought as he heard the man's scream was "Fifty stories is a long way to fall."

The second time was in Red Robin 2009 #26. Tim orchestrated a whole plan to manipulate Captain Boomerang into getting killed by Mr. Freeze. The whole time, Tim blamed Captain Boomerang for making all those bad choices, despite Tim being the one raising the chances of them being made. Tim believed he was innocent because he wasn't directly participating.

Tim then stopped that plan, but not for any noble reason. He decided that he couldn't let anyone else kill Captain Boomerang but himself.

Tim couldn't bring himself to do that, either. So he had to spare his father's killer in the end.

This seems pretty cut and dry so far, right? Tim believing that letting villains die is alright as long he doesn't do the deed himself? I'd think so too, if there weren't other moments contradicting this.

In Robin #35, Steph insisted on leaving an enemy who got buried under the snow to die. Tim chastised her for it.

Neither of them were responsible for the snow, or for the enemy getting trapped in it. Plus, that guy tried to kill them with a chainsaw moments prior, so he's not exactly an innocent damsel in distress.

Maybe it was because this enemy wasn't a big enough fish to fry. We didn't really get confirmation that this guy has actually killed before, and he's around goon status at best.

But then in Robin #46, Tim chose to save another enemy who got himself into a deadly situation. That enemy was a murderer known as Young El. This time, Tim wasn't telling anyone else why they should save a murderer's life out loud. These were his private thoughts.

Notice how Tim's inner monologue sounded kind of on-the-fence. He contemplated justice finally catching up with Young El as the floorboards gave way, bringing a support beam down on him in the process.

However, Tim immediately switched gears to rescue Young El from under that beam before the water rose too high.

But Tim, as he told Young El the reasons he's saving him, asked himself "Do I even believe what I'm saying?" He could be asking this about two different things he said here. A) "Maybe it's not too late for you to learn something, Young El.", or B) "Death's easier for you when it's the other guy. Death's never been easy for me."

For Tim to doubt his belief in either of these statements is very interesting. He could be questioning if Young El is already too far gone for redemption, or he could be questioning if seeing someone die has never been easy for himself. For all we know, it could be both.

Unfortunately, Tim never got to see if his choice to save him would pay off. Tim wasn't strong enough to lift that beam, and Young El drowned.

There's a question on my mind as I read these pages. What makes this murderer's death different from when Tim let King Snake fall to his "death"? Sure, King Snake didn't actually die, but Tim didn't know that until later when the man came looking for revenge in Gotham.

Tim was once able to simply walk away from what he was certain would be a killer's demise. But then he's consumed by guilt over not being able to prevent a different killer's death down the line, to the point of hallucinating.

On top of that, what changed Tim's mind later? Red Robin #26 and Robins 2021 #3-6 still happened in the future. The only significant difference I can tell is that these two comics involved the killer's of Tim's parents, making it personal. But if the Imposter from Robins 2021 got his beliefs from his profile before his mother's killer got involved, then does that still hold up?

Maybe we should put a pin on it for now. There are other things Tim's done that brings the details of his no-kill rule into question.

Such as that one time Tim actually killed someone with his bare hands.

In Robin issues #51-52, Tim accidentally killed Lady Shiva while drugged on amarilla, a plant that enhances the user's speed beyond human limitations.

It may be argued if the amarilla altered Tim's mind enough to excuse him of fault or not. However, I want to focus on what happened after Shiva was revived. Here's another question to go with the first one:

Does Tim believe the kill still counts if the victim was revived afterwards?

From what I've gathered, yes and no. It's kind of complicated.

After Tim killed Shiva, he was understandably distressed about it, about how he can never take it back.

But after Shiva came back to life? Nothing. He didn't dwell on the fact he broke the vow to never kill. For something that devastating to happen in his life, it's odd that Tim didn't bring it up ever again, privately or otherwise. Especially considering what happened later in Robin #123, when Tim thought he killed Johnny Warlock.

Tim was utterly inconsolable. He lost all faith in his abilities as Robin, and in himself as a whole. It also contributed to his decision to quit being Robin after his dad found out. In general, he seriously dwelled on that "kill" for a much longer time than he had after killing Shiva. The difference being that he knew Shiva was resuscitated immediately afterwards, while Tim didn't know Johnny survived until issue #141.

But there's the fact that Shiva really did die. Her heart and breathing both stopped. So are we to believe Tim moved on from that so easily because she's alive now? What happened to never getting that back?

Come to think of it, not long after Tim killed and revived Shiva, there was someone else who landed in that same boat. Dick.

In Joker: The Last Laugh #6, Dick brutally attacked the Joker after believing he killed Tim. Dick ended up accidentally killing Joker instead, before the clown was resuscitated.

Here's the thing. While Tim was trying to comfort Dick, saying that it's ok because Joker's alive now, Dick didn't believe so. He was still distraught that he killed someone. The fact Joker came back to life afterwards didn't matter to him. To Dick, it still counted. So what does that say about Tim?

Before we move on, there's another person Tim knows who also died and came back from the grave. Jason.

Tim openly acknowledged Jason was killed before coming back, too. Multiple times. For example, when they met up in Red Hood and the Outlaws 2011 #8.

Tim hadn't shown any signs that he thinks Jason's murder doesn't count anywhere, except for maybe once.

In Knight Terrors: Robin #2, Tim and Jason had a heart-to-heart, and Tim said something strange.

"You survived."

Except Jason didn't survive. He died. To say Jason survived that night would've meant he never died to begin with. Him being alive now doesn't change that. Was this Tim telling a white lie to make Jason feel better? Or does Tim see being revived after death as "surviving"?

Ok, now we can move onto the next question. Or rather, bear with me as we go back to the first question. It's a broad topic with plenty more to talk about.

What does Tim count as breaking the no-kill rule?

We already asked how Tim feels about bringing villains back from the dead after killing them. And we asked how Tim feels about leaving a villain to die without getting directly involved. However, we still don't know how much involvement Tim needs to have in an enemy's death before he'll take responsibility for it.

We can confirm he won't mercy kill in Red Robin #21, even if it means giving someone a fate worse than death. No exceptions.

Tim also doesn't allow anyone he's actively teaming up with to kill, especially if he's the one in command. He's been amicable with known killers before (Huntress and Pru, for example), but only when they remain non-lethal while working alongside him.

Apart from that, though, it becomes less clear. However, I think this is a good place to expand on when Tim blew up a lot of League of Assassins bases in Red Robin #8.

I'm not going into whether or not those explosions actually killed anyone. I've seen evidence supporting both sides of this debate, so I'm just going to say it's up to interpretation. What I AM talking about is whether or not Tim would've felt responsible if they had killed someone.

Before overloading every generator in the LOA database, Tim gave a warning to the Wanderer. He told her that he couldn't be held responsible for what would happen to her if she didn't leave.

After initiating the explosions, Tim warned the White Ghost that they had fifteen seconds to leave before it was too late.

Fifteen seconds. That explanation on the mistake of letting him in might've taken roughly another fifteen to twenty seconds. Did the other bases even get a full minute head start? The way some of the people were already running away could imply they at least got a warning, but it's possible they might not have.

Even if everyone in every base received a warning, would that be enough for Tim to avoid holding himself accountable if they didn't make it out in time? Tim's the one who rigged the bases to explode, but I guess giving someone a warning means it's now their fault for not heeding it?

We can't be sure he even considered the possibility of those explosions killing anyone. Tim knew they were dangerous enough to bring the whole Cradle down, and the other ones we saw looked pretty powerful (except the ones in Ra's hideout). But Tim also called Ra's a murderer right after that happened, which would've been very hypocritical if Tim himself thought he committed murder.

So, my guess is either A) Tim relied on sheer luck for those explosions not causing any casualties and chose to believe they hadn't, or B) Tim didn't believe the deaths of anyone caught in them would be his fault.

Again, this isn't about whether or not blowing up the LOA bases killed anyone. It's about how willing Tim was to take that risk, and if he would've blamed himself for anyone getting killed from it.

Either way, it's canon that Tim had no guilt for the explosions he caused, or for anything he did before Red Robin #22. Just ask the Sword of Sin.

This is an exerpt I got from the Fandom DC Database on the Sword of Sin:

"The Sword of Sin can be ignited with the mind of the wielder, if the person is powerful enough. The sword has the ability to conjure in the mind its victims all of the sins for which they are guilty or have not atoned for."

When Tim was stabbed with this sword, he was immune. The Sword of Sin decided he was innocent. Although, I have to ask how reliable this sword was in making that judgement. If the sword is judging others based on its own set principles, then something's not right here.

The Sword of Sin was also used on Dick, and he wasn't immune. It dug into Dicks subconscious and unearthed memories he'd long since repressed. Memories of himself watching a boy get beaten to near death, and then doing nothing. He just walked away.

Now, tell me why the sword brought this to light, but not the time Tim left King Snake to die!

It wasn't an accident. Tim deliberately chose to leave instead of trying to save this man from the murderous Lady Shiva. Sure, Tim was no match for Shiva and he might've not been able to stop her, but the same could be said for an eight year old Dick not stopping a group of much older kids. Neither of them tried to stop the attackers.

Tim didn't atone for it, either. When King Snake returned in Batman #469, Bruce told King Snake that it wasn't Tim who left him to die. We know that's a lie, but Tim never corrected this. He let Shiva take all the blame.

We have two instances of a boy choosing not to prevent someone from having a near death experience. One guilty, and one innocent.

Did the Sword of Sin think Tim was justified because King Snake was corrupt? That doesn't sound holy to me.

Was it because Tim didn't feel any guilt over it, while Dick did? Can the sword's judgement be thrown off by the victim not feeling any shred of guilt over their actions, even subconsciously?

That could make sense given what we know Tim did in the past: King Snake falling, the vandalism (explosions), and ALL the lying over the years (Tim reviving Shiva might count as atonement, so I'm not including that). If the sword based its judgement on God's will alone, then odds are high it would've picked up on one of these.

Even so, I'm not going to sit here and say this is definitely the case. I'm not familiar enough with how the sword effects other characters to make that call.

If this is indeed false, then did the DC universe's version of God decide to pardon Tim of his sins when he prayed earlier that same issue, despite him not believing he had any? I mean, who knows, right?

You can probably see why there's more questions than answers. The point is Tim didn't have any guilt for the things he did before Red Robin #22. Tim was canonically convinced he had nothing to atone for.

So then why did he say the opposite later in Knight Terrors: Robin #2?!

In the heart-to-heart between Tim and Jason, Tim tells him this:

"You have a lot to atone for...We all do..."

Tim knows that the words "we all" include him, right? By saying this, Tim admitted to also having things he needs to atone for, right?

Is this another white lie to make Jason feel better? Is it one of those slight changes the New 52 made to the canon? If not, then why did he change his mind? Did his no-kill rule change and make him feel guilty for some past actions? Is it not the no-kill rule, but something else?

What changed?!

Where does Tim draw the line?

I don't know. We've narrowed it down to a general area, but it's kinda hard to see a line when it's so blurred it could be a gradient.

Tim baffles me. He acts as a steady moral compass for others when he can't even seem to stay consistent with his own. You're free to call it poor writing (and honestly, fair), but I find his hypocrisy fascinating.

That's what it is, isn't it? Tim's a hypocrite who's completely oblivious to being one. And it's not like this was never mentioned in the comics before. Damian called him out on it!

In Batman & Robin 2011 #10, Damian confronted Tim about his near-murderous reaction when Fist Point killed Artemis (Teen Titans Vol 4 annual #1). Damian then accused Tim of constantly rejecting him because they have more in common than Tim's willing to admit.

It's debatable how accurate that accusation was, but Tim had a pretty volatile reaction to it.

"I believe in every choice I make!"

Does he? I don't think someone who's so sure of what he believes in would contradict himself to this extent. Especially if he wasn't doing it on purpose.

He wouldn't vehemently push Bruce's no-kill rule onto others and berate them for bending that rule, only to go and bend that same rule himself when the Batclan isn't around. He also wouldn't exploit what he thinks are loopholes, decide later that those loopholes broke the no-kill rule, and then earnestly claim he never broke it.

Why is he like this?! He's had arguably the most normal childhood out of the whole Batclan before becoming Robin! What could've made him so fickle about this?!

Where does he draw the line? And how will he know when he's crossed it?

[lipglossanon]

April Showers

Real Dad!Leon S. Kennedy x real daughter!reader

A Little More Savory tier commission from @ao3-rex1223

Word Count: 2365 (I went over! 🫣)

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, DEAD DOVE, father/daughter incest, nicknames, dirty talk, kissing, shower sex, grinding, nipple play, breeding kink, lactation kink (mentioned), unprotected sex, creampie

Proofread ✍️

The weather app on your phone is nothing but a filthy liar. 

“Sunny with a partly cloudy afternoon, my ass,” you mutter out loud. 

“What was that, sweetheart?” Your dad glances over to you, the downpour soaking his hair until the fringe lay flat on his forehead. 

You keep your eyes firmly above his neck, a Herculean feat since you wouldn’t mind following the water as it drips down his shirt—nearly opaque now and showcasing his mouth-watering pecs. It’s been a stupid, invasive thought that you can’t shake since moving closer to home after graduating. Your dad’s been helping you out around the house, fixing things up, and during one of those times, you accidentally stumbled on him half naked in your bathroom. 

It really wouldn’t have been a big deal; he got covered in some kinda gunk from cleaning the gutters and decided to take a shower before heading back home. Not thinking about it twice, you opened the door to hand him a towel, only to be met with his flexing back muscles and tight ass. He’s been haunting your dreams, whether you wanted him to or not. 

Since then, you’ve been keeping a catalog on what makes him so hot; suffice it to say, the brain rot hasn’t abated in the slightest. 

“Oh, nothing,” you sigh. “How much longer til we make it back to the cabin?”

He glances down at his smart watch, the small face bright in the gloom. “GPS says about another quarter mile.”

Groaning, you tip your head back, raindrops smattering across your face and down your neck. “Who’s bright idea was it to hike today?”

Leon grins, "Believe it was you this time, squirt.”

Trudging forward, you shake your head, “Yuck, you know I hate that nickname.”

���Come on,” your dad needles you, laughing at your sour face. “It’s cute.”

“Uh huh,” you roll your eyes, then gesture to the trail in front of you. “Following your lead here, pops.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he waves his hand at you and steps out in front. “Make your old man slug it out first. I get it.”

Rolling your eyes again, you give his broad shoulders a light push, meaning it solely as a joke—something you’ve done a thousand times before—however, because of the sudden deluge of water, the trail is nothing but a slippery, muddy mess, and he loses his balance. 

He begins to fall backwards, and you try to catch him, but it’s a moot point; he just has too much weight on you. Both of you crash down onto the ground, Leon sprawled on top of you, leaving you both coated in mud. Wincing, you try to raise up at the same time Leon turns on his side, and you end up pinned underneath his body. 

Squeezing your eyes shut, you valiantly stifle the whine in your throat. It’s unfair to have your hot dad pressing you into the ground, pelvis to pelvis, while mud and leaves are seeping into your clothes. 

“Sorry, sweetheart,” he laughs a little deprecatingly as he finally hoists himself up, stretching a hand out toward you. “Guess we’ll need to clean up in the outdoor shower.”

Heart tripping over itself, you nod, “Sure.”

Turning his back to you, he curses under his breath, “Good thing it’s insulated, huh.”

Head dizzy at the thought of seeing your dad strip down in front of you, you can only cough out a strangled yep. Shooting a look over his shoulder, you smile tightly. 

“Must be a frog in my throat,” you joke weakly. 

It’s enough to make him grin and chuckle. 

“Well, Kermit, let’s get outta here.”

“Does that make you Miss Piggy?”

“Har, har, aren’t you funny?”

“Learned from the best.”

A comfortable silence falls between you, only broken up by the sound of rain and your trampling footsteps. Making it back to the cabin, you follow behind your dad as he walks to the lean-to built onto the side of the building. A shower stall’s setup alongside the house, protected from the elements by the sheltered roof. Glancing at it, it doesn’t seem like a lot, but it's fairly spacious inside with a little shower bench. 

“C’mon,” Leon nods his head at the stall, kicking his boots off and starting to unbutton his jeans. “We’ll both hop in in our undies and get clean in one go. Save time, so we can get started on dinner and warm up.”

You feel faint, blood surging hotly through your veins. “Um, s-sure. Quick and easy, right?”

He chuckles, “That’s the spirit, squirt.”

Arousal dampening a smidge from the silly nickname, it revs back up when he turns his back to you and bends over to take off his jeans and socks. Biting your lip, you press the dough of your thighs together, eyes drinking in his toned form. Once he’s down to his briefs, he steps into the shower stall, holding the door open as he cuts on the water. 

“Hurry it up, sweetheart, haven’t got all day,” he sing songs. 

In no time at all, you stand next to your dad wearing only a sports bra and boy shorts, brain overrun with thoughts of his half naked body. You bite back a gasp when his hand comes up to press between your shoulder blades, ushering you into the shower. He steps in behind you and shuts the door. 

It’s wide but not very deep due to the bench. As you both try to rinse off, you’re rubbing up against your dad in an almost obscene way. You really aren’t doing it on purpose, but he finally grabs you by the hips and stills your movement with a cut off groan. 

“Dad?”

“Sorry,” he mumbles behind you, fingers gripping you tightly as he lets out a breath. “I didn’t—it’s been a while and just—that’s no excuse, ‘m sorry.”

Your heart beats a staccato in your throat, and you rock yourself back, ass brushing against his stiff cock. 

“Oh, dad,” you whimper, and he inhales a sharp breath. “That’s so hot.”

He doesn’t stop you from pressing your ass fully against his chubbed cock, grinding back against him with a moan. His grip shifts, and he guides your hips into a rhythm that makes your toes curl, knowing your dad is getting off to this just as much as you are. 

“Daddy,” you whine, reaching one hand over your head to drape over his shoulder. “Touch me, please.”

His hands move from your hips to drag along your sides until he’s groping your breasts through your flimsy bra.

“Take it off,” he tells you, voice thick with lust. “Show daddy these tits of yours, baby.”

Slick floods the gusset of your panties while you eagerly strip your bra off, dropping it to the shower floor with a splat. His hands immediately grope and squeeze your breasts, fingers tweaking and tugging your hard nipples.

“Daaaad,” you moan, hips rocking back against his while he plays with your tits.

“Hang on,” he mutters, one hand disappearing, and you hear him shift behind you. Glancing down, you see him kick his underwear off to the side, making you whimper.

“There we go,” he sighs, slipping his cock between your thighs. “Mmm, so soft. And..”

He trails off, and you feel him guide his cock up to rub against the outline of your cunt. “So wet, baby. S’this all for me? What a dirty girl.”

He coos the last sentence in your ear and you melt against him, keening low in your throat. “Daddy, please.”

He pulls back and turns you around to face him; your dilated eyes rake down his body, taking in his thick, dripping cock. Leon yanks your panties down, and you step out of them. 

“Pretty pussy,” he groans, fingers skating along your slit, smearing slick along your cunt and his fingers. 

“Dad,” you tilt your head. “Kiss me.”

“Baby,” he rumbles in your ear, and your hands grip onto his biceps, pulling him into a wet kiss. 

He slips his tongue past your parted lips, groaning as he licks into your mouth. You’re so turned on, it feels like your brain is melting from your ears. Leon ruts between your thighs, cock dragging precum all over your pussy lips, parting your slick folds to nudge against your clit. 

“Want it,” you pant, pulling away. “Want your cock.”

“Yeah?” He drops his hand down to grip the base of his dick, guiding the tip until he’s pressing against your hole. “Want daddy to stuff your pretty pussy?”

“Please, please, please,” you chant under your breath, eyes wide as they watch him tease the tip in and out of your fluttering cunt. “Dad, please, I wanna fuck you.”

“God,” he groans, sinking halfway into your snug pussy. “Take it then, sweetheart, since you want it so bad.”

“Yes, yes, oh, fuck,” you moan and whine, hands gripping his shoulders but making sure to keep your nails from scratching him up. No need to give your mom any suspicions. 

Once he’s buried completely in your wet heat, he grabs your thighs and picks you up. Without pulling out, he walks you both back so he can sit down on the bench. Your knees settle on the outside of his thighs, letting you sink down on his cock until the tip kisses your cervix. 

“So deep,” you slur, that pinch of pain making you clamp down on his dick. “Daddy, no one’s ever been this deep.”

“Fuck,” he hisses, hips snapping up, making you squeal as he knocks against the opening to your womb. “This sweet pussy’s never had a dick this big?”

Shaking your head rapidly, you sling water everywhere, “Nooo.”

“Goddamn,” he bites out, pulling you into a spit filled kiss. “Gonna dick down my little girl like she deserves.”

“Uh huh,” you mumble, kissing him between all your little moans and pants. “Give it to me, daddy.”

“Gonna let daddy breed your little pussy, sweetheart? Hmm?” He teases against your lips, warm palm cupping your lower belly. “Put a baby right here if you let me cum in this soft pussy, cream you nice and deep.”

Shuddering, more slick leaks from your cunt, coating his cock, while your nails claw at his back, totally forgetting about not leaving any marks, “Dad, y-you can’t—we shouldn’t, it’s bad.”

“So bad,” he simpers, kissing your neck. “But doesn’t it feel good? C’mon you know you want it. Let daddy stuff your sweet cunt, baby.”

Nodding, you kiss him, sloppily making out underneath the shower spray. His fat tip drags against your g-spot on every thrust, fucking you better than your last boyfriend by far. It really shouldn’t be this good between father and daughter, but now that you know how sweet this forbidden fruit truly is, you never want to stop. 

He pulls away to mouth kisses across your jaw and down your neck, nipping at your pulse point. Drooling, you pant and gasp, knees digging into the tiled bench of the shower as Leon pounds into your clenching heat. 

“Fuck, pussy’s so much better than your moms,” he grunts, fingers digging into your hips. “Like this tight hole’s made for my cock.” 

“Daddy,” you whine, and he groans, biting down on the swell of your breast. “Feels so good.”

“Yeah?” He slows his pace, dragging his cock in and out of your cunt in deep strokes until you’re writhing against him. 

“Want it fast,” you pout. “Please?”

“Don’t like being teased?” He chuckles, pressing a kiss on each of your nipples. “Let daddy play with you a little, sweetheart.”

Clit aching, you rock yourself against him. “But dad—“

“Shhh,” he nips at your stiff nipples, and you whine. “Just let me enjoy it. God, you’re so sexy.”

Pussy fluttering around his cock, you whimper, and he groans in satisfaction. “You like that? Yeah, best little pussy daddy’s ever had.”

He fucks you slow and deep, cock pumping in and out of your pussy while his mouth and tongue tease your nipples. 

“Just think, if you let daddy knock you up, these gorgeous tits will be full of milk.” He bites your nipple roughly, a sharp pleasure that makes your pussy flutter. “Then daddy would have to help milk these fat tits every day.”

You hump down on his cock, thighs burning as you fuck yourself faster and harder against him. “Oh, god, dad, you’re gonna make me cum.”

“Fuck,” he groans, moving a hand between your bodies to strum across your senstive bundle of nerves. “Little clit’s so fat and slippery, baby.”

Keening, you thrash against him, arousal building higher and higher until it’s all white noise in your head. “‘M so close.”

“Cum for me, let daddy feel this little cunt squeeze his dick,” he coos. “Be a good girl and cream all over my cock.”

He pinches your clit a little harder, and it’s enough to snap that band wound tight in your lower belly. Your climax hits you hard, pussy squirting slick as your walls clench over and over while you shudder and writhe in his lap.

“Oh fuck,” he chuckles in disbelief. “Squirt’s more than just a nickname, huh?”

Thighs twitching, you slump against him, muscles too weak to keep you up. He wraps his thick arms around you and begins to pound up into your sopping wet pussy. 

“Gonna cum, oh fuck, gonna nut in your hot little pussy, oh, oh, yeah, take it, gonna knock my daughter’s fat pussy up, breed your sweet little cunt,” he babbles against your neck, cock throbbing in your fluttering walls. “Oh, fuuuck.”

He buries himself to the hilt, shooting rope after rope of hot, thick cum inside your puffy cunt, letting your snug pussy milk every drop. He doesn’t pull out when he leans back and takes your chin in hand. Leon tugs you into a soft kiss, the sweetest one that you’ve shared thus far. 

“Let’s go inside and continue this,” he nips your bottom lip. “We’ll worry about the consequences later. Daddy hasn’t had enough.”

He palms your belly, “Gotta make sure it sticks, too.”

A dull throb echoes through your cunt, “Okay, dad.”

[delulu-with-wandanat]

Hello my fave moot. 😘

Can i request a fic (the one we talked about) where Nat and Wanda had an intense make out shesh and something more 👀👀 . Then Wanda came out of the room with red lipstick all over her face, neck, chest, and thighs.. courtesy of Nat and Nat looked so smug. 🤭🤭🤭

Money, must be funny. In a rich girl's world.

A/n: Helloo my dearest moot! Of course you can, I put my own little twist and mixed your request with the prompt I made a little while ago. I hope you like it boo!

Pairings: Wanda Maximoff x Natasha Romanoff.

Warnings 18+: Smut, semi-public sex, fingering, cunnilingus, praise kink??, (Wanda receiving), (Natasha giving).

Summary: Natasha works at a beach club, and Wanda is the daughter of the owner. Let's just say, summer wasn't the only thing that's hot that day.

⧗ᗢ⧗ᗢ⧗

"Do you even know who my father is?!"

Fucking rich people...

So this is where she is now, working at some beach club serving entitled people who think they own the world just because they have money. And most of the time it's not even their money, it's their parents.

"I sincerely apologize, sir. However, I don't see your name on this list." Natasha responded calmly. These damn kids...

The young man scoffed, "You must be new here. I am Vision Stark, STARK. That name means NOTHING to you?!"

Natasha desperately wanted to say, 'Yes, the same way you meant nothing to your dad-'

But of course her job requires her to say, "I understand you're upset. Perhaps you may have written it under a different name?"

He laughs cockily and pulled out his phone, "You better start applying for another job."

Oh for fuck sake- As much as Natasha hated rich people, she knew how powerful money could be.

"No- Wait, please that won't be necessary-"

"Ugh, what now Vis?" A girl wearing a sun glasses appeared beside him with a bored look.

"I'm calling my father and getting this piss rat fired." Vision spatted while scrolling through his phone to find his father's number. Shit, he wasn't joking around-

The girl then took his phone rather hastily, "Will you stop being such a daddy's boy?" She sighed and turned to face Natasha. "What's the problem?"

"I uh- I don't see the name Vision Stark under the guest list."

The girl then turns face Vision, she's wearing a sunglasses but Natasha knew she was glaring at him. "How many times do I have to tell you that it's registered under MY name?" She then turned to face Natasha and took off her sunglasses in frustration.

Holyshit her eyes...

"I'm so sorry about him." Natasha almost didn't hear her, she was too entranced in those green orbs.

Her face is carved by the goddess Aphrodite herself...

"Try looking for the name, Wanda Maximoff." That was when Natasha snapped out of her thoughts. She quickly scanned the guest list for her name. Natasha had to skim through a few names as there were a lot of people on the guest list.

"Hello? She said Maximoff, are you fucking deaf??" I swear if this boy don't shut his mouth right now I-

"Will you shut up?! She's just doing her job." Wanda scolded him. Vision, like the little boy that he is, groans and crossed his arms.

Natasha speed up her process, not wanting to deal with this man child anymore. And finally, "Ah, yes. Wanda Maximoff. I'm so sorry for the hold up ma'am."

When Natasha looked up, Wanda was looking at her with a look that she couldn't quite pin. Her head was tilted a little bit and she was biting the inner parts of her cheeks slightly. "No worries." Wanda said with a faint smirk.

Natasha couldn't help but gazed at her a little bit more, it was only for a split second but she got pretty much everything. Wanda is absolutely fucking breathtaking-

But again the man child had to ruin it for her as he quickly dragged Wanda by the arm to enter the beach club, "Come on, Wands."

"Have a good time." Natasha said as she internally sighed in relief. She glanced back once more and caught Wanda's eyes who was also looking back at her. Wanda gave her an adorable little wave before turning her head back.

Natasha smiled to herself, summer was going to be good after all...

⧗ᗢ⧗ᗢ⧗

She often wonders, how the fuck does one able to own such a huge beach club? While simultanieously have a resort on the other side too.

Quicksilver Beach Club was one of the most famous beach clubs in the world. They'd held numerous events and had millions of people around the world fighting for a spot. In the same area, lies a very luxurious resort called, Scarlet's Resort.

Which if Natasha was being honest, sounded like some kinky luxurious hotel.

It didn't matter though, at least the pay is good. Well, she says that now after having her eyes set on a very gorgeous guest. Wanda Maximoff. God, what a beauty-

Natasha wasn't the type to normally fancy a rich girl. Number 1, they're way too high maintenance for her who practically lives off cup noodles. And 2, they're very VERY entitled. Just for those two reasons alone, Natasha tried to stay clear of those girls unless it was for a one night type of thing. But perhaps for Wanda she could make an exception.

Which is why she would often asked to switch stations with her sister, Yelena, so she could serve Wanda's table more often. Purposely standing somewhere near Wanda's line of sight, the moment they locked eyes Natasha would give her signature smirk. One that she knows would get girls to fold for her.

Though Wanda seems to be a hard egg to crack. Sure, she notices Natasha, but it never really went as far as small talks. Which to be honest, only made the red hair wanted her more. Perhaps Natasha was full of herself, but she knows Wanda wants her too.

Wanda just needs a little push off the edge. As Yelena would describe it, 'She looks at you like she wants to eat you.'

Wanda was bored, bored out of her fucking mind. To many this beach club is something impressive, something luxurious, but considering her father owned it she has been here countless times. Then again, pretty much nothing else impressed her, many would say money can't buy you happiness, which to some extent might be true. However, it does allow you to experience anything and everything.

So her question is, what's a girl that pretty much has everything gotta do to have some fun here?

Her friends are boring, the guy she's seeing is dull as fuck, at this point she's just floating in empty space... Albeit, a luxurious one, but empty nonetheless.

Thankfully she has this cute, breathtaking, sexy waitress to keep her company this time around...

"One Piña Colada." Wanda snapped her head to the source, fuck this girl and her sexy smirk.

"Oh, thank you, Natasha." Natasha tilted her head slightly.

"How did you know?" Wanda merely pointed to her name tag, Natasha realizes and let out a soft chuckle. "Right."

Wanda laid on her back once again while taking a sip of her drink. She was laying on one of the VIP sun bed with a standing umbrella shielding her from the hot sun. Most people just wanted to sit by the beach and enjoy the waves, the rest who were out in the suns were mostly surfers.

"So are you here everyday?" Wanda asked, trying to make small talks with an arguably bullshit question. She knows Natasha's schedule, being the daughter of the owner she obviously had access to it. Which is why she is always conveniently there during Natasha's work hours.

"No, I only work day shifts and will be having a day off tomorrow." Natasha responded. "Is this your first visit?"

Wanda thought for a second, the answer was, of course it isn't. But she liked the fact that Natasha didn't know who she is, who her father was. Perhaps that's why she was attracted to Natasha, well apart from her attractive look. "You could say that."

"Let me know if you need anything else." Natasha said before going back to her area, which conveniently is on Wanda's line of sight. She can't help but admire the curves of Natasha's body. The way her muscles flexed under light of the sun, the way her hips swayed when she walked. God it was as if Natasha was putting on a show on purpose.

Being one of the most lavish beach clubs in the world, they were highly selective of their staff. Even as a waitress, other than the fact you had to be good at your job, you also had to be attractive and fit. It wasn't written in the job description, obviously. However, simply by observing their staff, you can definitely tell there's on going theme.

It was no wonder they hired Natasha, I mean look at that woman. Honestly, she could be a model. Wanda questions why Natasha even bothers to continue to work here with that kind of face and body.

Wanda continues to enjoy the view, which was without a doubt, not the beach. Her eyes secretly follows the red haired waitress wherever she goes. Unfortunately for her, she wasn't the only one. Other guests had their eyes on this sexy waitress too, Wanda couldn't exactly blame them. But she wanted Natasha, and whatever Wanda Maximoff wanted, she would get it.

She had to be quick though, she knew it wasn't uncommon for a guest to hook up with a service worker. Especially if they're hot. So she did what she knew best.

Natasha's ear perked up the moment she heard a yelp from one of the guest, it was Wanda. She had accidently spilled her drink all over herself. Natasha rushed over to her with a napkin. "Sorry, I'm very clumsy."

"It's alright, ma'am." Wanda stood up from the sun bed, her white, VERY thin see-through material shirt drenched in cocktail. Natasha's eyes subtly glanced to her chest seeing the red bikini Wanda had underneath, before averting it to wiped the remaining substance on the bed. "Let me get you another drink."

"Oh that's not necessary. However, could you please escort me to the bathroom?" Wanda asked rather seductively.

Natasha straighten herself up and internally smirked. "Of course, let me get this drink to the bar and I will escort you."

Once she was done, they both walked to the bathroom with Natasha leading the way. If all went according to plan, it should be empty. It was 2 pm, Wanda knew not many people would be present as sunsets were the prime time. That and the fact that no one actually uses the changing room/bathroom. Perhaps that was a rich people thing? I mean why not just change in your hotel room-

"It's just right through here, Ms. Maximoff."

"Please, call me Wanda." She said while walking to their destination.

"Alright, Wanda." Eventually the hallway lead them to their destination, Natasha, like the excellent service worker she is. Opened the door for Wanda. "If you need any assistance let me know."

Wanda eyed her up and down, now that they were alone, she would make her move. "I might be in need of an assistance in... other terms."

"What would that entail?" Natasha asked teasingly with one eyebrow raised. Wanda bit her lip and took a step closer towards Natasha.

"Don't play dumb with me."

With one swift movement Wanda pulled Natasha in with her. They shut the door behind them and Wanda had Natasha pushed up against the wall.

"I've seen the way your eyes lingers at me."

"Don't think I haven't noticed yours either."

Wanda's eyes wandered down to Natasha plump lips, god she wanted to taste it since the first time she arrived here. Natasha noticed her gaze and leaned closer to Wanda. Her hand reached up to Wanda's chin, catching her attention. Natasha had a rather mischievous taunting smile on her face. And fuck she looks so sexy.

"You want a little taste, darling?"

Wanda let out the breath she was holding, she leaned down and kissed Natasha roughly on the lips. Earning a soft hum from the redhaired woman.

Their kiss was messy, lustful, the kind of kiss where you wasted no time and started having tongues involved already. Natasha gained dominance in their make out session, taking over by flipping their position and have Wanda pinned instead. Wanda had her arms wrapped around Natasha's neck pulling her even closer.

Natasha's hand that was initially on her waist moved down to grip Wanda's ass firmly, causing the taller one to groan. Natasha captured Wanda's bottom lip, their eyes locking onto one another, both slightly hazy from the heavy session. Natasha's releases her lips before husking out, "You're such a needy girl, causing some incident just to get my attention."

A small whine escaped Wanda's lips.

"Was this your plan all along?" Natasha taunted. Her hand reached up to tuck Wanda's hair behind her ear while simultaneously pushing her body closer to Wanda. "To get fucked in some public space?"

While Natasha says all of this, she left a trail of kisses on Wanda's jaw. She trailed further down to her neck, earning a loud gasp from Wanda. Once she found a sweet spot, Natasha bit on it, causing the brunette inhale sharply before letting out a sound that was music to her ear.

Natasha moved her thigh to press it firmly against Wanda's aching core. Considering she was only wearing a bikini, it was easy for Wanda to feel the friction. "O-oh god..." Wanda moaned out.

Natasha continues to bite and suck harshly against Wanda's neck, not caring if it'll bruise. Not when it caused Wanda to squirm against her, to roll her hips subconsciously just to pleasure herself further. Her hand reached up to Wanda's breast, palming it against her stained shirt. Wanda couldn't help but to dig her nails on Natasha's back.

"Fu-fuck, please. I need more..." Wanda voice's echoed through the empty room.

"Good to know a person such as yourself has manners. I love well mannered girls..." Natasha husked out the last part in her ears, causing Wanda to shiver. She was sure if Natasha wasn't holding her up right now she would've fall to the floor.

Wanda continues to grind against Natasha's thigh, and whined the moment she felt Natasha pulling it away. "No-" Yet her words died in her throat as Natasha switched her legs with her fingers instead. Letting those long slim fingers drag across her panties. Natasha smirked when her finger dragged over the wet spot.

"All that for me, baby?"

Wanda nodded frantically, her mind too clouded to form a coherent words. Natasha pushed on her clit slightly against her panties.

"Words, baby. Words."

“Yes!” Wanda moaned out loud.

“Good girl.” Her fingers then moved her panties out of the way to run her fingers over Wanda’s dripping slit.

“A- ah… Natasha-“

“God I love the way my name sounds coming out of those pretty lips.”

Natasha trailed her kisses down to the exposed skin on Wanda’s chest. Her finger still teasing on the lips of Wanda’s opening, caressing it ever so slowly, yet not making any move to put it in. This caused the taller one to whine in frustration.

“Tell me, what do you want me to do?” Natasha asked against her skin. Using her free hand to slowly unbutton her shirt.

“I- I need you inside me, please…”

Natasha hummed, hearing Wanda beg did numbers on Natasha. Her left hand then pulled down Wanda's bikini top, freeing the sensitive bud. Natasha captured it in her mouth, rolling her tongue and sucking her nipple gently. Her right hand still teasing Wanda's entrance, she could feel the way Wanda was getting wetter by the minute.

Judging from the way Wanda grips her hair, nails scratching her back, back arching to push Natasha further into her. And fuck, the way she begged.

"Please... Ngh- Please, stop teasing me."

Natasha smirked against her, she releases Wanda's nipple with a 'pop'. Trailing her mouth up to Wanda's ear to nibble her earlobe. "You sound so good, begging me like that."

All of the sudden, Natasha entered two finger inside Wanda. The taller woman gasped, eyes closed and mouth wide open in the shape of an 'O'. She wrapped her arms around Natasha for support, her right leg naturally did the same, giving Natasha more room to fuck her.

Natasha curled her fingers expertly, causing Wanda to roll her eyes to the back of her head. Natasha moved her lips to leave open mouthed kisses on her neck, noticing how much the brunette loved it. "Oh god, just like that-"

God Natasha loved how vocal Wanda is. The way her voice was dripping with lust, how desperate she is to be fucked. Natasha picked up the pace, and Wanda couldn't help but to move her hips in rhythm with her. Her loud moans echoing through the marble bathroom accompanied by the gushing sound of Natasha's finger going in and out of her wet cunt-

"SHH-" Natasha quickly shut Wanda's mouth with her free hand.

Wanda, still hazy from pleasure could only stare at her and whine against her hand. Natasha focused her mind.

Footsteps.

She quickly pulled out her finger, dragged Wanda into one of the empty toilet stalls and locked it. Well, stalls were probably not the right word, one thing for sure it provided them more privacy as there were no gaps for anyone to peek.

"You better keep quite for me pretty girl." Natasha said with a smirk.

"W- what?"

The door outside opened, and a few set of footsteps could be heard entering the lady's room. They were busy talking to one another, Wanda's mind was still too hazy to pick up any word they said. Not that she cared anyway, she just hope they would leave soon so-

Her thoughts were interrupted by Natasha who was now kneeling on the floor, tongue sticking out to lick her already dripping pussy. She didn't even realize Natasha had already pulled down her underwear. Natasha wasted no time in lapping up her folds, devouring her like a starved animal.

Wanda's hand flew up to cover her own mouth, her other hand gripped Natasha hair firmly. She couldn't decided whether she wanted to push Natasha's head away, or pull it even closer. Natasha fucked her with her tongue, her nose rubbing against Wanda's most sensitive nerve.

Fuck she was getting close-

Wanda was biting her own hand so much that it hurts. Her legs were giving up on her, the only thing holding her up was Natasha toned arms and the wall she was leaning against. She started to grind against Natasha's face, fuck she doesn't know how long she could hold it.

Natasha then pulled out her tongue out of her entrance, trailed it up to swirl around her sensitive nerve before eventually encircling her mouth on it giving it a gentle suck. A slight sound escaped her throat, but thankfully their audience was too pre occupied with the latest gossip to notice.

Natasha continued to suck on her clit like it was a lollipop. Wanda could come then and there, but she knew if she did she wouldn't be able to keep her voice down.

For fuck sake can't these girls just leave!

Her stomach was tensing trying to hold the knot that was threatening to snap any second. It seems like her prayers has been answered as they heard the group taking their leave. Once Wanda was sure they were alone again, she moved the hand that was once covering her mouth and let out the sounds she had been holding.

"OH FUCK-" She moaned out breathlessly, "I- I'm so close. Fuck, Natasha, please let me come."

The way Wanda said her name, the way she gripped her hair, the way Wanda used her other hand to play her own nipple to chase the height she desires caused Natasha to moan against her clit.

The knot inside Wanda finally snapped the moment she felt the vibration against her pussy. Her back arches, body trembling, head thrown back so suddenly that she might've hit her head against the wall and hurt herself. But fuck was it worth it....

Natasha made sure to lap her up thoroughly, body spasming occasionally as Wanda was very much still sensitive from her orgasm. Seems like Natasha was enjoying that reactions from her that Wanda had to whine and pushed Natasha's head away. The redhaired only let out a small chuckle before finally standing up on her feet.

Wanda wasted no time in pulling her into a kiss, she moaned savoring the taste of herself. After some time they pulled away, Wanda rested her forehead against Natasha's.

"That was..." Her words died in her throat as she still needed to recover.

"You did so well." Natasha said, giving Wanda a tiny kiss on her nose. Wanda laughs softly at that.

"I should keep you around more often."

"Well, you know where I work."

They pulled away, gazing into each other's eyes. Wanda could get lost in them, Natasha felt the same as well. Natasha gave her a loopsided smile. Damn, Wanda really wanted to keep her around.

"Let me take you out tonight?" Wanda asked shyly.

"Unfortunately I have plans, how about tomorrow?" Natasha said, tucking a hair behind Wanda's ear the moment she saw the brunette's adorable pout. "Beside, the big event is tonight."

Wanda rolled her eyes, "I was trying to find an excuse to escape that." Natasha laughs at that. Wanda was... something else. "Alright then, tomorrow."

"I should get back to my shift, I'll see you around." Natasha smirked, she quickly left the stall and out of the lady's room before Wanda could even ask for her number.

⧗ᗢ⧗ᗢ⧗

Wanda chased her out of the bathroom, but Natasha was already out of her sight. She cursed under her breath. For someone that size Natasha was sure as hell quick. Wanda walked back to her table to find it was now occupied by her friend, Agatha. She was sipping her drink when she noticed Wanda.

"Hey girl! I was wondering where you were-" Agatha suddenly stop her sentence, her eyes scanned Wanda up and down. Wanda tilted her head in confusion.

"What? What's wrong?"

Her friend then suddenly smirked. "No need for explanation."

"What are you talking about?"

Agatha then pulled out her phone and opened the camera app so Wanda could take a look of herself. Wanda eyes widens the moment she saw the state of herself. Lipstick marks were all over her jaw, neck and chest. To top it off there were hickeys on her neck too.

"Oh my god..."

"I assume it's that hot waitress standing right there?" Agatha pointed with her finger.

"How did you-"

"She gave me this complimentary drink because you 'spilled' yours." Agatha said while doing an air quote. "Other than that she left her phone number on this piece of paper underneath the drink."

Wanda groaned and quickly wiped off the marks and closed herself further with her shirt. Glaring at Natasha who had a smirk on her face, and gave her a subtle wink.

"I swear I'm going to make her pay."

I'm not very good with smut but I tried my best. Hope you like it!!!

[hobiespick]

Sam Winchester x reader headcanons part 3

<33

a/n: heyyyyyy I had so much fun writting these. I am literally shaking as we speak cuz i'm still kinda shy abt this even tho yall showed me sm love and gave so much positive feedback on the first 2 parts I was giggling, blushing, and twirling my invisible phone cord. Thank you all so much for everything and enjoy my shitty thoughts 🫶💞 + tagging a lovely person who gave me the idea of writting one of these @yinorathedragontamer

Summary/Warnings: tooth rotting fluff, Sam Winchester x gn!reader , Sam being the biggest boyfriend of all boyfriends (im quoting one of my moots), the first headcanon isn't sam x reader it's Jess x Sam (rip to the hottest couple) the headcanon came to me in a prophetic vision and i just had to leave it here, mention of Sam's childhood + I couldn't help myself but make a few headcanons about Dean too.

- I have a deep feeling (i'm an empath) that around college when he was with Jess and he wouldn't leave her side, Sam accidentally got adopted by her girl group of friends - hear me out - he would cling to Jess for his dear life shaking and not wanting to intrude or make him look nosy and Jess's girlfriends wouldn't bat an eye, welcoming Sam with open arms and treating him the same - they are the reason his guilty pleasure is gossiping. One of Jess's (girl)friends coming hurriedly towards the group with a shocked expression and a hand covering her mouth and Sam already knows the tea is scrumptious - he probably got called "girl" so many times - he didn't mind it btw, actually kinda liked it because that means they included him - spreading my "Sam Winchester enjoys the company of female friends more than male ones agenda" like wildfire ‼️ - "wyd when me and my gang pull up" and it's five y2k girls + a preppy blonde girl whose boyfriend is some 6'4 emo kid with a Green Day tee who follows her around with heart eyes

- "Dean, move your leg or I'm throwing your fucking mixtapes out of the window" you threaten annoyed at the audacity of the long ass older Winchester to just stretch out as if you're not both (tired af) in the back seat of baby, you try to find a comfortable position for what feels like the 50th time to stay for a few hours untill all of you make it in one piece to Washington (Dean might not since he is acting like that). "You touch my mixtapes and I might throw you out of the window, runt." Dean barks (lovingly), lifting his sunglasses on his head and pointing a defensive finger at you. You are too tired to think and to retort something snarky back but still settle on rolling your eyes and giving his foot a kick.

Sam is driving like a princess in the front, his legs are streched out with his back comfortably resting against his seat with an arm lazily holding the steering wheel as the wind coming from the rolled window brushes some of his hair on his forhead, all while looking effortlessly handsome. "Don't make me come back there" Sam laughs breaking the character he wanted to play along as (hint: dads on road trips). Sam's pants would catch on fire if he said he was annoyed at your childish bickering with his brother, he found it endearing. It just added to the list of things he liked about you. You gasp a little bit too dramatically and gesture towards Dean "He started it" you grumble. Dean gives you a kick of his own pulling his sunglasses back down and crossing his arms, atleast he retreats his legs giving you enough space to rest yours.

- uses every excuse to touch you (his hands are literally twitching in anticipation to hold yours, or hug you)

- Dean is a classic rock etillist (he learned that from J*hn) but his guilty pleasure is nu metal especially limp bizkit. - he only listens when Sam isn't around. - says he's getting himself a little treat (fancy headphones) with his hard-earned money (poker/credit card fraud) - J*hn introduced him to led zeppelin and Dean feels like he's dissapointing him by not being a carbon copy of him hence his secrecy - So the "guilty pleasure" has deeper roots

- Sam told you he doesn't remember owning a childhood plushie, you fix that

- you open the door and close it with your foot, hands clinging to the bag you're holding to your chest after almost stumbling over. Sam's expression changes into a smile upon your arrival, kinda like a golden reriever. He gets up from the reasearch papers scatterred around the table no longer the center of his attention to greet you.

"Hey" the word 'sweetheart' almost sneaks out of his mouth but he contained himself with grace, god forbid he makes you uncomfortable (he's alot like you y'know? ). "Hi" you reply breathlessly due to your almost stunt and the fact that Dean took Baby out so you had to walk back to the motel in the humid weather of Washington. You take off your shoes and set the bag on the table, Sam's nosy self is itching to see what's inside. Before you open anything you make sure to peel off the hoodie you have on and rest it on a chair. "I got something but i need you to close your eyes and lay out your hands please." You start already bitting back a smile with a tinge of nervousness at what his reaction could be.

Yes, you got Sam a plushie. You got matching ones, the one for Sam is a brown moose with dark brown glass eyes that kept reminding you of him. The one you got for yourself is a same-zise moose plushie in your favourite color. What's even more cuter is that both of the plushies came as a package and they can stick their hands together with the magic of little pieces of square shaped tape on each their hands (hooves?). Sam is scared and excited at the same time. He will thank you for whatever you got him, he raised himself to be gratefull, it's just that growing up he learned and was usually met with dissapointment. John not showing up for his soccer game and neither Dean because he is hunting with him? Yeah he knows. Not even a call from his dad on his 21st birthday? Yeah he expected that. But he knows you, and the amount of times you have dissapointed him. (hint: zero)

So he does as you told him to. He extends his hand and turns it over, his other arm resting by his side. He closes his eyes and does not open them once. Sam was that kinda kid at the playground, so fair and by the rules it's almost suspicious. He can hear the noise of the brown paper bag crinkling and somehow imagine the sight of you smilling brightly, a sight that almost bribes him to open his eyes and see for himself. He focuses on the sound untill he feels the soft velvet material of the plushie in his hands. He doesn't even open his eyes yet he just furrows his eyebrows in confusion as his fingers pet the fabric of the stuffed animal.

You stand there, the biggest most nervous smile planted on your face as you wait for his verdict. "Sam, you can open your eyes now." you speak loud enough for him to hear, and he does open them, they glisten wet under the crappy motel room light. He has this mix of sadness and joy on his face at the same time as he cranes his neck to look down at the stuffed animal in his hands, he can envelope it entirely if he tried. You wish you could read thoughts right now, to make Sam open up his brain to you and show you how he feels about this, whether the reaction is negative or positive, you just want (need) to hear him speak, fuck, he can even yell at you if that is what he chooses to do (he wouldn't in a million years). Regret hits you like a hurricane after a few seconds of silence, that's the last thing you wanted to do, make Sam remember what a shitty childhood he had with just a stuffed animal, a fucking toy. The thought that this could come off as a reminder for him that's like 'Hey buddy, your childhood is so fucked up I felt sorry for you, here' didn't even occur you. All you wanted to do is give him something normal, to make him feel normal, a feeling he has been chasing all of his life. You bought two matching moose plushies with the thought that you're gonna match with your bestfriend, you're going to share some normalacy with your bestfriend in your world, your monsters are real world.

You wanted to build a time machine and rescue little Sam and Dean from the fucking monster John Winchester was. Yes, John Winchester loved his boys, but neglect and love don't mix. Leaving a 10 year old to look out for a 6 year old isn't love, taking your children with you to fucking hunt and kill fairy tale monsters isn't love. "Sam?" You call out quietly, nervousness already visible in your body language. Sam shots his head up at the mention of his name and most importantly the tone of your voice. He gives you a weak tight lipped smile (as if the sight would spare you having to worry about him, as if you don't feel the need to bang your head against a wall whenever you see Sam in any kind of pain) and wipes a tear that runs down his cheek with the cuff of his hoodie. "Sam- I'm sorry- I thought-" You justify yourself and attempt at swallowing the lump formed in your throat, you rub your sweaty palms on your jeans and feel like the biggest asshole in the world. You awkwardly take a step closer untill you take in consideration the idea that getting closer might be the last thing he needs right now so you step right back. Sam tears taste sweet, he can confirm it himself. The way you spent time and money going to provide him with something he was wrongfully stolen off of having when he was only a kid made him tear up in the spam of a few seconds. You asked, he answered, you felt sorry, he desperately wants you to comfort him, then you do something to make him feel appreciated/cherished. He glances at you and sees the state you're in. His legs instinctively take three long strides towards you and envelopes you in the most comforting embrace anyone has ever gave you. You don't need to be psychic or practice insane voodoo/hoodoo to know exactly how this made him feel, it's all in this hug. You hug him back and Sam starts rubbing circles with his index finger on your back, he is crying his eyes out and he's still comforting anyone but himself. You hear his sniffles as he agressively wipes his nose with his cuff. "Thank you" he croaks out, his tone hoarse and raspy. He rests his head on top of yours and you can feel him finally relax. You can also tell he has no intention of breaking the hug anytime soon but that is your last worry. You made Sam happy tonight and that's all it matters.

- you and Sam are the golden retriever + black cat duo the world needs. - grocery trips with him (he doesn't need anything, just wanted to go with you) that are fun and weirdly domestic. - it's all making jokes and finding eachother the snacks you usually eat untill someone bumps into him and HE apologizes. "Sorry" he says giving the dude that's shorter than him a tight lipped smile. The dude presses "Almost dropped my shit 'cause of you assh-" You cut him off by clearing your throat and making him turn around his face dropping as he notices your glare at him. "He said he was sorry." You chide (threaten) with a scarily blunt tone, you have no idea how someone can even dare to look the wrong way at Sam, he's too tall for his own good and he's built like a brick wall. "Whatever" the dude leaves scoffing , your expression softening as soon as your eyes settle on Sam. He has a stupid dorky look on his face and adoration in his eyes, his hands shoved in his jean pockets towering over you almost awkwardly. "Ugh. What is it today asshole day?" You joke breaking the silence, (yes, you're quoting kat stratford) Sam just laughs and nods, you could say it's Christmas and he would believe you. "Looks like it." He agrees, not even caring for that asshole that he could've handled himself just fine, he hunts monsters for a goddamn career. He just adores the way you jumped to take his side.

- expressing your wish to find or atleast thrift a brown carhartt jacket similar to Sam's, only for him to offer giving it to you whenever you wanna wear it. - "S'okay you can wear it i don't mind, you just have to ask me before, yeah?" - he also can't stop blushing at the sight of you in his already baggy jacket appearing more larger on you.

- the jacket engulfs you in this sense of security and an addictive smell of Sam (his fav earthy cologne) - the way you're looking good, happy, and warm in his jacket makes Sam's heart skip a few beats. - Dean smirks and compliments you, having to take a double look to confirm it's infact Sammy's jacket on you "Looking good, Y/n" he smiles and sends Sam a wink you're to oblivious to notice but you do notice the tone he uses, replying back skeptically "Thanks?" but you shrug it off asking Sam if he wants to come with you to this fast food place to bring back dinner.

- When Dean's brain cells put 2 and 2 togheter and realizes you and Sam are absolutely pining for eachother he purposefully does alot of stuff so you're stuck spending time with Sam and vice versa. It's either an easy move to make you two go out/stay in or it's a geniusly absolutely malefically strategically thinked and mastered 50 step plan that has atleast 20 plan B's in case anything goes wrong but we all know he doesn't need them, the mission goes smoothly each time. if Winchesters are anything, it's stubborn, incredibly and stupidly stubborn so Dean is not giving up on making one of you confess to eachother and if you don't he might take matters in his own hands and scream it out loud enough for You and Sammy to hear.

- he is so eager, the first time you kissed him he automatically assumed he's your boyfriend. - "Is that any way to speak with your boyfriend?" With a jokingly hurt face and a dramatically placed hand on his chest when you're being too mean. - "As your boyfriend and your lore boy.." - "I'm Sam, their boyfriend.." when he's introducing himself to person he knows has certain intentions with you or somebody making you uncomfortable.

- you pulled a muscle in your shoulder while on a hunt and stubbornly denied anything ever hurted even when Sam asked. - you keep rolling your shoulder when Sam says "Looks like you pulled something alright. You probably shouldn't move too much, you'll just make it worse." You scoffed at that, no way Sam for real? I had no idea I had to do that, thank god a smart boy like yourself is right beside me. "Are you mansplaining to me how to let a pulled muscle heal?" You retort, mainly because of the pain partially cause mansplaining is unnecessary and ignorant. And when Sam thought he couldn't like you any more than he already does you proved him wrong. He only chuckled, amused by your snarky reply, even going as far as to apreciate your attitude. "I'm not mansplaining anything, I'm just stating facts. Even a five year old could tell you that overusing a muscle will make the pain worse." He teased back.

- He enjoys the intimacy between the two of you when there are jokes and certain things you and him can laugh about because you're both huge nerds.

- Bobby let's you borrow whatever books you want from his huge ass library (mans probably got illegal books there)

- Bobby and Dean give eachother knowing looks whenever you and Sam literally do anything togheter, you and him pretend not to notice, not even mentioning it.

- guys i wanna cuddle with Sam Winchester so bad it's not even funny anymore *sobbing while my eyeliner mixed with tears is running down my face*

- he's a big cuddlebug I am willing to bet all my life savings and my first born he is. - the way you feel so safe and comforted when his light pole build wraps two arms around you, holding you close, trying to get you impossibly closer. - his hugs are the same, tender yet firm reflecting on his gentle nature. - just spoons you when he finds you on the couch sleeping with a bunch of research papers scattered and dusty old books around you which he tosses aside, because he is too proud to ask for cuddles.

- you wake up in the middle of the night you have no idea what time is it, you have one missing sock, your throat is dry, and you feel an arm draped over your waist getting tighter around you the more you twist around. And that's when you hear it, it's right next to your ear, Sam's low sleepy hum as he stirrs behind you, nudging his face deeper into your neck. You have no choice but to lay there untill he wakes up 'cause there is no escaping.

a/n: again i'm posting this shaking, this took so long I was scared I wasn't gonna finish it. They are so long they might not classify as headcanons but i couldn't care less. The plushie one made me feel like hamilton while writting it lmaoo. Hope yall enjoyed!! 💞 feedback would be very much appreciated<33

[jolapeno]

i wasn’t sure if I wanted to say something or not. but, I saw the post that @moonlitbirdie did here with the addition from @tonysopranosrobe and I guess it inspired me to be a little braver with my honesty.

because at the end of the day, this is my blog? it’s my thing I’ve taken and nurtured, and watered and made my own.

so lemme start with I’m aware it is humanly impossible to be everyone’s cup of tea, and I do not expect to be. but before the last week or so, I’d naively thought that if I wasn’t, those people would bow out politely from my life/space.

but that blog showed me that isn’t the case, and that sucked.

there are far more adjectives and words I’d love to say to describe my feelings on that blog and that situation. to describe the hurt and the sadness I’ve felt, not just for the words said about me but about moots, friends and others I see in the community I love being in. but I think I would never stop talking and we all have lives.

so I’ll get to the point of what this is.

normally, I wouldn’t address things publicly, but this time I want to put my foot down, to say a few things.

I might seem more confident in recc’ing myself, but that isn’t because I was faking it before. instead, it’s because I have good people in my life, and good friends who I might not have had before taking the time to let me hold some space in my life. who have reminded me that it’s okay to toot my fucking horn sometimes, and it doesn’t make me a bad person even if it feels bad.

they remind me that it’s okay to celebrate with cake when I finish a series I’ve worked really, really hard on. and those same good people are also ones who politely and virtually slap me when I begin talking shit on myself, who have helped me begin to forge a better relationship with the warring voices in my head—the writer who wishes to write and the girl with no self esteem who wishes to crawl into a ball each time she posts.

next, I know for some, it may have seemed like I was okay. that the normal posting on here was it running off my back like water. but it wasn’t. it was hard to come into a space where it felt like people hated me, and where people would send in asks about other people I’m friends with or care for or know. because even if it’s only a few asks, it feels like more, because I don’t know who is screenshotting and agreeing with it. and once you begin tumbling down that thought-cliff there’s no stopping you.

again, I’m aware I’m not perfect. i make mistakes, I try to learn from them, and I do not expect to be everyone’s fave person. but anon hate is not a thing I’d wish even on the people I personally dislike, and I’ve had it on and off pre that blog appearing. I’ve deleted and deleted, blocked and reported, and then that blog came and then it was out there, and I could do nothing. I just had to stare and read it, had to hope that people knew who I was.

and look, I say none of this for sympathy, but more an acknowledgment that not everything that stands past the ground shaking is stable. that people don’t always know or feel able to ask or share that they’re hurting. and then it’s isolating, it’s dark and it’s fucking lonely.

which is what leads me to my final thing, which is thank you. thank you to every single person who has reached out to check if I’m okay, to offer the option of a vent or a thot, and the ones that have even just sent love hearts. and also thank you to those who have thought about sending something to me or instead disputed or reported that blog.

I know on the post above by birdee and commented on by han mentions about checking in with people, and I just want to echo that point so loud. if you’re unsure what to do it this happens again (maybe not even now - god I hope - or in this fandom, but in the future) from someone who was mentioned, it’s check in.

similar to han (you worded it perfectly and I’m going to butcher it) it validated how shitty I was feeling, it allowed me to feel okay taking space to be mad and to be sad, because someone else was agreeing it was wrong. those things seem easy on the surface until your North Star has gone, until your upside down and topsy turvy. and if you’re reading this and thinking “bit fucking dramatic jo” then I ask you to kindly unfollow me, no hard feelings, or anything.

because in my eyes, anyone would feel a little disconcerted when their hobby doesn’t feel safe or provide the same comfort it did. when your hobby is the thing you look forward to, and then you can’t enjoy it because there’s a thousand thoughts running around and it feels so anxiety provoking. and yeah, I know there will be people who will go “it’s just tumblr” but I’ve been here a while, this isn’t my first rodeo here, and I just never wish for anyone else to feel like this. ever. no one deserves the hobby they love to be tarnished by shadows that shout and spew things, that you can’t fight back against, because you don’t know who they are.

but kind voices eventually break through and smother the unkind ones. they do. they have.

and I know for me, those check ins and messages brought me comfort when I needed it. they helped.

so if you’re unsure what to do, take comfort that a little love does help. it isn’t magic, it doesn’t fix it all, but it does make a difference, and that matters too.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

julius caesar but i've never watched it

...either the play or the actual man. I am not a time-travelling voyeur. Why does that give Doctor Who vibes? I haven't watched that either.

Anyway, happy Ides of March, tumblr. I am about as enthusiastic about the celebration as Neil Gaiman is, but here we are. Doing what I do worst, making a summary of things I have no authority to summarise... WAHOO LET'S GO. Whatever it is I know about the play:

Caesar was vibing sometime around the '40s. 0040s, not 1940s.

He has a wife named Calpurnia. A maggot wants to be her because and I quote 'no one ever listens to me either'.

She tells him not to go to some kind of coronation or speech or something on the Ides. He's like nah wifey 'sall gucci.

I regret saying that sentence. As did Caesar, because he went and got stabbed in 44. Spoiler alert.

People ship Mark Antony with Caesar but some ship Brutus and Caesar. *youtuber voice* Comment below with your favourite ship.

Don't do it I don't want to know. Anyway, he's also married to Cleopatra, who is killed by snake venom that may not have been snake venom or something.

Idk they were cute. They had a kid that ran away and Asterix and Obelix had to take care of him. Caesarian?

WAIT IS A C-SECTION CALLED A CAESARIAN BECAUSE YOU CUT IT OPEN AND CAESAR WAS STABBED? WHAT?

There is a soothsayer. He tries to soothwarn Caesar.

Caesar does not soothlisten. Caesar is a lil bitch.

On the Ides of March, Caesar goes up to the soothsayer who is lurking on the steps of the maybe-coronation place. He soothsays The Ides of March are come!

The soothsayer soothsighs and soothsays Aye, Caesar, but not gone.

The senators, otherwise known as the soothslayers, have been plotting for a while. Brutus is a very dear friend of Caesar. He thinks Caesar slays.

But the other senators convince him this is what's best for Rome. So he thinks Caesar should be slayed.

So now the soothslayers at the maybe-coronation gather around Caesar and start stabbing him. Et tu, Brute? and all that (though I remember something about that phrase not meaning the same thing as it does in popular context...).

The soothslayers are a bit extra. Like bro. One stab to the heart would have soothsufficed.

Anyway, Caesar is soothslayed like the soothsayer soothsaid.

There is a funeral thing. The People of Rome are cranky.

A maggot once said Moots, maggots, countrymen! and it lives rent-free in my head.

Anyway what Mark Antony actually says is a whole ass speech. FRIENDS, ROMANS, COUNTRYMEN, LEND ME YOUR EARS. I COME TO BURY CAESAR, NOT TO PRAISE HIM! THE EVIL THAT MEN DO LIVES AFTER THEM, THE GOOD IS INTERR'D WITH THEIR BONES (I THINK I HAVEN'T HEARD THE SPEECH IN A WHILE OK) SO LET IT BE WITH CAESAR.

So he gives the soothspeech and everyone is emotional. IF YOU HAVE TEARS, PREPARE TO SHED THEM NOW. Damn bro. It's like playing villain music just as the camera focuses on the villain.

Anyway then there is a lot of chaos and blah blah blah Mark Antony does some stuff Caesar's adoptive son Octavian does some stuff.

There's some bloke named Augustus who may or may not be Octavian (if he was sorry for the deadname Auggy my bad).

Brutus is killed? Or he kills Mark Antony? One of them die.

They were totally not fighting over who was a better lover to Caesar.

Roman Republic gone byebye as I say to Roxie. Roman Empire starts. The end.

Er.

That was a thing. I rather like summarising my homeboy Shakespeare haven't read him in a while and I only read his comedies. Maybe I should do more in honour of the Globe Theatre Maggots.

Happy Ides. Please don't soothslay me. I've been a good Maggot Prince to you, haven't I?

*runs just in soothcase*

[wildemaven]

Okay, so I guess this sits in the realm of Confessions.

I'm thinking about leaving tumblr. I'm not sure what I did or didn't do to cause this, but the people I thought of as my friends or at least closest moots hardly interact with me anymore. My posts, my fics, my reblogs, my comments to them... They are around, I see them on my dash, but...

It all sounds so middle school, but it hurts nonetheless, and I'm pretty sure anything that feels like middle school (even actual middle school) can't be good for anyone.

The thing is, I really love everyone, and I don't want to give up. But going around to literally dozens of peoples DMs to ask, "Do you like me?" "Are we still friends?" "Are you mad at me?" Is again a kind of painful kid trauma thing I just can't quite bring myself to do.

I feel like my time here is just sort of over. I started with little expectation, and to my surprise, I found community, felt well liked and valued, and then, it just sort of went away.

There was a time when I was really happy about my place here, and just that makes me so sad.

You don't have to answer or anything. I think it just feels kind of cathartic to write it down where if nothing else someone else will read it.

Anyway... I guess that's it.

Held on to this for a little bit because my heart aches for you and I want to wrap you in the biggest hug 💕 I felt I could have written something so similar, as so many are relating to this right now.

It’s so hard to not feel like you’re feeling when you see people you’ve connected with slowly pull away from you. It hurts even more when they’re still active but actively avoiding you. That fucking hurts deep.

There was a time when this space felt very welcoming and fun. And while I do still have fun, sometimes it doesn’t feel as welcoming— and I know I’m not the only one feeling this.

Cliques branch off, popularity fuels some to feel like they’re too good to interact with others, the vibe isn’t vibing like it use to. And like you mentioned, it can all make you feel like you’re being thrown back in middle schools wondering why you’re not good enough? What did you do to cause this? What’s the point of even being here in this space any longer?

I’m so sorry this has become your reality. I wish it was a simple fix or there was a perfect solution to make things better. I support whatever decision you make, your wellbeing and mental health matter most— just know this community will be a little less bright without you in it!!

You said I didn’t have to post this, but I want others who might be feeling the same to know they’re not alone at all. There’s a lot of us floating around with the same exact thoughts and feeling like we just no longer belong in this space.

You’re more than welcome to jump in my DMs or continue sending anonymous messages to my inbox if that helps you in any way 💕

Coffee Shop Asks

[sleepinginmygrave]

⋆˚࿔ jupiter's aquarium 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

300 followers celebration<3

welcome to jupiter's aquarium!!

thank you guys so so much from 300 followers omg, i can't believe so many individuals are following me and interested in my silly life hjjhjjh i love you guys so much<33

𓇼 ⋆｡˚ this will end on the first of july! (i think, probably)

𓇼 ⋆｡˚ this is heavily inspired by @urbanflorals' event because it was just too gorgeous hjgjhh (i really hope it doesn't bother you oml)

𓇼 ⋆｡˚ you can request as many as you want! (just keep it reasonable hjhhjh)

𓇼 ⋆｡˚it might take me some time to fullfill your request, please be patient! i also probably won't answer them in order, i'll just answer some when i have the time :]

𓇼 ⋆｡˚ this is for followers and mutuals only<3

intro post

welcome to our aquarium!! what creature do you wanna see? let me show you what we have!!

⋆｡˚[ sea creatures ]⋆｡˚

⇢ ˗ˏˋ {eels} ࿐ྂ i'll make a small pinterest board inspired by you

⇢ ˗ˏˋ {sturgeons} ࿐ྂ i'll recommend one or a few musical artists/songs i like for you

please precise what type of music you listen to!

⇢ ˗ˏˋ {moon jellies}࿐ྂ i'll make you a moodboard or a stimboard for whatever you want

please precise what you want the stim/moodboard to be about! it can be inspired by you, a character, an animal etc (also precise if you want a stim or a moodboard!)

⇢ ˗ˏˋ {octopus} ࿐ྂ i'll (try to) draw you something!

please tell me what you want me to draw! it will be shitty btw, please don't pick that /j this one is probably the one that'll take me the longer tho, just so you know

⇢ ˗ˏˋ {manta rays}࿐ྂ i'll talk to you about whatever's happening in my life (or just yap about my hyperfixations really)

(i am an Oversharer when it comes to my own life so this is great because i'm allowed to yap hehe)

⇢ ˗ˏˋ {tropical fishes}࿐ྂ i'll assign you an animal based on you/your blog

⇢ ˗ˏˋ {turtles}࿐ྂ i'll tell you three things i associate with you

⋆｡˚[ sharks ]⋆｡˚ (mutuals only)

⇢ ˗ˏˋ {blacktip reef sharks}࿐ྂ i'll tell you what we would do together if we met irl

⇢ ˗ˏˋ {whale sharks}࿐ྂ i'll write you a letter :>

⇢ ˗ˏˋ {lemon sharks}࿐ྂ i'll assign you one of my favorite animal!!

the same as tropical fishes tbh but more personal :3

queue ; 13 visits to go

we hope you had a nice time observing our residents!! thank you so much for passing by<33 don't hesitate to come back!!

again thank you guys so so much, i'm so glad for all the friends i made here<33

⋆｡˚tagging⋆｡˚

⋆｡˚@urbanflorals ; tysm for letting me use your event as an inspo, i almost copied the presentation hjhgjhghh it's so so gorgeous

other moots!!; @bloophasarrived @starmanbutitsregulusblack @aesthetic-writer18 @this-is-me-lolol @in-the-sweet-november-rain @daydream-of-a-wallflower @ev-enhotterthanyou @silence-between-seconds @skeelly @thedvilsinthedetails @marylily-my-beloved @a-wondering-thought @a-beautiful-fool @sceirlose @hansenesque @holdmyteaplease @rorythinks @niallermybabe

(i don't have the energy to tag a lot of people sorry, also please tell me if you didn't wanted to be tagged!!)

[cataclitsmicdisaster]

sat here scratching at the walls while waiting for tmap 28 to drop so I wanted to throw some theories at the wall because these tragic little government drones occupy my every waking thought, spoilers ahead for all mag pod content so yknow

in the same way you physically couldn't quit The Magnus Institute, I think you have the full capability to leave the OIAR but your life/luck goes down hill until it eventually kills you. Take Teddy, for example, last we heard from him it was during a really sombre interaction with Alice. He was struggling to find a job and she said he looked exhausted (or something along those lines). I know it's not much to go off, but since we also have Colin's declining mental state since he stopped doing his job (though that could just be his rightfully sourced paranoia), I think it's a pretty solid thing to go off

with two Externals showing up that are extremely Hunt coded/are notorious hunters (Trevor Herbert MP was a Hunt avatar in tma, Lady Mobary we've heard in action) plus how Lena makes Gwen hunt down externals, how Sam seems obsessed with hunting down The Magnus Institute and Basira showing up as one of the first Magnus Institute workers from tma, it's pointing towards a particular Fear entity being rather strong in this new universe

Celia is most definitely manipulating Sam (though I think she's also genuinely catching feelings) and we're coming to the end of season 1, so I think her secret is going to be revealed soon. The most likely way I think this is going to happen is Sam will be at her flat with Jack and she'll suddenly disappear, panic ensues, explanations will be given

I think the files that Gwen received in tmap 27 have a chance of being digitally transfered tape recordings. Since they couldn't be recorded digitally in tma, but now the people who recorded them are stuck in technology, I'm fairly sure the tapes are now audio files that got sent to Gwen (I could be wrong, I'm shit at computer stuff)

the Archivist is coming, that I'm sure of. It may not be here in season 1, but it's making its way to the OIAR. Seeing as we've had "Augustus" read a statement about himself, I think that he'll be the one to take the Archivist as his physical form rather than "Chester" (that last part is just me chatting shit)

Gwen's rich dad with an influence over the government is 100% Elias Bouchard, specifically the loser/stoner we met before he got Jonah Magnus'ed. I think he's a good dad, but that Gwen is an only child so he spoilt her rotten

"Norris" is gonna be the one to prove Colin right, its just Martin's undying determination to make things right that'll have "Norris" do something to reveal him. Maybe he'll finish reading a statement and instead of gradually regaining that monotonous text-to-speech tone and shutting off he'll continue to speak without a statement

aaaaaand that's a wrap. I just needed to vomit all my silly little thoughts out somewhere and realised I could blog it, now all my moots have to suffer through this (I'm not sure if I'm sorry yet, I'll let yall know)

[radioroxx]

hi pluto i’m here to ask if u have any isat headcanons. about anybody! hope u have a good sunday :))

HAPPY SUNDAY VIA can i call you via. hello

ive mentioned my tattoo hcs before but im gonna expand on them as best i can rn because i think about it occasionally (i am making a lot of this up. right now! for you!)

ok so odile has a lower back tattoo she got in her 20s and i feel very strongly about this one 1. because i think its funny 2. because it makes her 10x cooler. the other day in my moots disc we talked about the idea of odile having a past polycule that she broke off from and so ive adopted that idea and decided the tattoo is a matching one. she does not regret it at all and is still (somewhat) in touch with her ex’s. siffrin was the first person she told about this, drunkenly btw, and for months afterwards he couldnt remember if it was Actually Real or just something his brain made up (and they were too scared to ask lol)

siffrin has star tattoos on his back and shoulders! i was considering giving him sleeves but i changed my mind,, he got them while he was still travelling on his own. possibly theres a region that is more well known for tattooing (havent decided what this would be though)! he was interested from a ‘learning about new culture’ perspective, also just because Why Not. he chose to get stars because it felt right. he somewhat regrets it. (maybe, post canon and later on their journey, he would try out something else. different designs. things inspired by his family! or things he wants to remember)

isabeau has no tattoos. not from not wanting them, but from just never really having the interest. UNTIL travelling with the party. until staying up late with sif in their shared tent and finding out that, on his travels, he learned how to (very basically) give people tattoos. and begs him for one. its like 2am and neither of them are thinking clearly so they agree. they ‘borrow’ odiles ink pot she uses for writing, a sewing needle that isa happens to have on hand, aaaand it. goes very poorly. as youd imagine. he is lucky to have the long sleeves to cover it up. whatever design theyd been going for was absolutely not achieved. but! he cherishes the memories regardless. (incredibly, they would try this twice. the second time would be after bonnie joined the crew, who would catch them awake, beg siffrin for a tattoo of their own, be told ‘no’, but would still be allowed to watch as long as they PROMISE not to tattle to madame and mira in the morning. bonnie absolutely tattles).

mira! does not seem like a tattoo person to me. i think she would be intimidated by the idea- partially in relation to the change belief, partially because she wouldnt know what to get. i like to think tattoos are probably pretty controversial to the religion… some people think they are a very powerful form of change! something you cant take back. others disagree for the same reason, that its permanent. so pre canon no tattoos for her. but!! but! as i mentioned before with siffrin getting tattoos for his family, i think mira might consider something as well (confidence boosted by the fact that the others will be matching). other than that though, it just doesnt appeal to her much.

bonnie has no tattoos also aaand it will stay that way for. a little bit. this is something that upsets them greatly because i also like to believe that nille has PLENTY of tattoos! possibly some she even got when she was much much younger! irresponsibly, of course, and many of them are regrettable. so she steers bonnie away from making that same mistake too young (tries to encourage them to wait until they are 18 at least). maybe bambouche as a whole is a very tattoo-supportive town, which is where bonnie got their interest. this does not stop them from making little paintings up their arms and having the others help out as well, to make up for it, in a non-permanent way.

i havent actually designed what any of their tattoos would look like… thats gotta be something i sit down to think about,,, one day maybe ehe

[ceo-mochee]

Right I'm gonna say it cus I've seen and heard enough.

If you ship something toxic, Do NOT complain when people hate it.

(NOTE : Do NOT send me hate asks/comments if you choose to read this, cus I really do not gaf if you hate me for this. It's just my opinion and I wanted to get it off my chest.)

If the ship your shipping is a healthy pairing and people are hating you for it, then sure you have a reason to be upset. However if you're shipping something like Romesse, Aidesse or I don't know...... AXDEN.... (which are pretty toxic ships in general (my opinion)) then yeah people have a right to hate the ship.

I will agree on some part that attacking people is not a good thing, and this goes to both sides. People who don't like your ships shouldn't have to force you to change that, but at the same time if people hate on the SHIP itself (and are NOT namedropping people), then why should you be so worried? I literally watched one of my moots get attacked by someone because they wrote about not liking Axden.

Hell I'm even gonna take a quick minute to slander this ship now. Why? Cus it's pretty toxic- Aiden bullied Axel and tried killing his friends, do you reaaaaally think Axel would be friends with someone like Aiden, let alone get in a romantic relationship with him?? Yeah I don't think so either.

Here's the thing tho, this is just MY OPINION. If you disagree, COOL! But making a huge fuss about it and attacking others who disagree is only fueling that belief that "its not the ship itself, it's the shippers that are the problem." Getting pissy cus you CHOOSE to read someone's opinions and decide that because you disagree, and believing that you should go send anonymous asks attacking said person is also just making yourself look real pathetic.

I'm sorry, but if you're gonna get sensitive over a fictional pairing getting hate, then I don't know what to tell ya. s

I, of course, may or may not be the one to talk. I've shipped Axel and Lukas together for a long while and I may or may not have been hurt by some people's opinions myself, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna go off with my pitchfork and torch and bombard someone with hate asks/comments, you know how much easier life is when ya just silently disagree with one's opinions and move on? It's amazing lemme tell ya.

So far I've only seen this happening with the ship Axden (Axel x Aiden), which is pretty damn bonkers if you ask me. Why can't y'all just accept the fact that no matter how much you preach, self project onto characters, or fuss about your own opinions, not every single person is gonna agree with you. My ass already got turned into a damn PTSD trigger to one person (who I'm of course choosing NOT to namedrop) cus I disliked that ship.

"I know Aiden bullied Axel but... but I made it to where he redeemed himself!!!"

Okay??? Still doesn't change the fact that you're getting upset that people are understandably uncomfortable with that ship mate... do you understand how happier we would all be if you'd just BLOCK people who disagree instead of burning an innocent user at the stake because they dislike a toxic ship.

Like seriously if you're gonna get upset and attack someone for not liking a (pretty toxic) ship that you like and not just like- Idk- BLOCK them... then you're probably already a lost cause my friend.

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

Please tell me about your ocs!! IM HUNGRY GRRR

helloow omg ! im so honored you want to know more about my ocs aaahhh!! :D my moot @kovu-bunnbunn also wanted to know more so i figured i could do it now !!

i have a bunch of ocs but I’ll just talk about my main oc ryoko right now !!

her full name is ryoko ‘007’ aizawa. I’ll explain the 007 in a minute !! she’s aizawa’s adoptive daughter.

her parents (her dad more specifically, her mom was more of a bystander) are both from very wealthy families and merged. Her parents had an arranged marriage and after some chatter to get to know each other they’re conversations take a little bit of a turn..and inbetween bonding about their favorite movies oop! A lil comment about how the world would he better off without heroes..oh you think so too ? Well look at that, we have so much in common!! long story short they both decide that the want to create something that will be able to take down all might and the entirety of hero society and it’s restrictions,,and I’m pretty sure you can guess what that something was ! nine months later ryoko is born yipeee…!

during her entire pregnancy ryokos mom went through some quirk experiments (sponsored by doctor garaki 👍) because they knew that with both their quirks alone they wouldn’t be able to create a super weapon. (ryokos dad has an overhaul type quirk, and her mom has a healing sort of quirk) so they did some experiments hoping something would change in the womb, and when she was born the kept on doing experiments until she started manifesting a quirk w no attributes from her either of her parents and manifested a fully different quirk than she was originally meant to have,

since she had those experiments done ryokos body adapted to be able to handle her quirk, but it’s not perfect unfortunately.

heres a simple little chart of how it works ! (BTW I DO NOT DRAW LIKE THIS ANYMORE THIS IS OOOOLLLLDD😭😭😭😭)

her quirk is a lot like neijires as in she uses her own energy and converts it into power ! The amount she uses shows in her hair :3 ryoko tho, unlike neijire can do multiple things from sending blasts, to powering herself up to make parts of her body stronger, to making it hard objects like stepping stones she uses to navigate and weapons like dual swords or chains to restrain ppl !! she can also drain other peoples energy (and from her surroundings, but thats only in 100% mode ! ) because of the fact that her body had been modified, ryoko can carry more energy into herself than regular people which is why she can drain energy without any major drawback to a certain extent ! However, her drawbacks are way more severe, overusing her quirks makes her sleepy and drowsy, it gives her nosebleeds and very worse case scenario if she were to have too little or too much energy she could die :0 !!

(ALSO !! I lil extra tidbit: ryoko is capable of sensing peoples energy’s if she concentrates hard enough, it works better if shes seen them before, but she can sense all the energy in humans in her surroundings or if she has a picture, tho it’s slightly weaker and is limited to one person at a time. This is a form of remote viewing that i gave her bc of my obsession w stranger things i had !!😭)

its a pretty powerful quirk that her parents and other scientists knew they could use well, but unfortunately for them ryoko ended up liking heroes (she was barely educated, so she had no idea that she felt admiration for heroes and especially all might, she was alsovaguely aware that she was taught to do the wrong things, because she’d be forced to use her quirk on robots/ small animals in some cases.)

her parents weren’t supposed to feel any affection towards her so they decide to just give her a code name 007 :D which i realized a little too late was the same as james bond..woops😭

anyways fast forward to the biggg “earthquake” incident, shes rescued by a group of heroes, eraser head included :D unfortunately shes detained in tartarus since her being in a constant state of panick set her quirk off and she couldn’t stay in a regular hospital so ryoko has canonically been to tartarus as a inmate at the age of 4 😭! Oh forgot to mention this, but ryoko got her quirk veryy early due to the experiments done before her birth and after.

since ryoko cant control her quirk an aizawa can cancel them, they’re a pretty good matchup !! Fast forward some more and shes living with him ! he adopts her and lets her go to school, where she meets izu n katsuki and they quickly become friends because. Of COURSE. My main ocxcanon ship is a CHILDHOOD FRIENDS TO LOVERS ONEEE😭😭😭😭will i ever stop. raise your hand if you’ve ever seen that one comin

lmk if you want to know more about her or other ocs ! I didn’t wanna ramble TOOO much so this is all the basic info!! plus some drawing of her

two of them r completely credited to horikoshi cus i used ochaco n hagakure as a base !! I accidentally have two in normal mode and two in 100% or overdrive mode as she calls it (tho one of them is a soul eater au :3) ! Both made by me :3

Much luvvv xxxx!!! And thank you Sooo much for your ask again💗💗💗💗

[rikiws]

GANG!

I have one of those silly little moot thingies!

(No pressure you don't have to do it if you don't wanna!)

But! What music you automatically assume your moots listen to😼😼

To me, I imagine you fw brent faiyaz or the arctic monkeys, maybe some Daniel Caesar

Dude how did you know that... I fw Daniel Caesar and Brent Faiyaz HEAVY dawg are you psychic 😨 (Kendrick and Don Toliver TOO THE ENTIRE DAMN. ALBUM SIGH... ALSO KESHI I like too many artists this yap won't end so let me just stop myself) I never really got into the Arctic Monkeys but I still think they're awesome musicians, even if the music doesn't hit for me that much personally

I love this game though thank you for this, forgive me if I get any of you guys horribly wrong I'm a terrible judge of character...also I really like to talk about music so best believe I'll be listing a few songs out and explaining them too, very sorry if its a lot to look at 😭

@sugariricookies : you first ofc. I'd say you'd be into something fresh, I don't want to say cutesy bc its not exactly that but close yk. Beabadoobee FOR SURE and New Jeans too. Glue Song - Beabadoobee : its very quiet coffeeshop meetcute with a ton of flowers involved ykyk Melting - Kali Uchis : honestly any song by her bc CMON. I think it matches what you're like really well, if you don't listen to her much How Sweet - New Jeans : can we bfr this song is so heart emoji and you're also very heart emoji are we making sense

@sungbyhoon : Idk bit I feel like you'd be into something a little darker...? Not maybe something like Alt or Grunge, actually maybe yes if its something like Cade Clair or something, but more like Cigarettes After Sex and Chase Atlantic. Also very chill but less upbeat and more mature sounding I'm so sorry if this makes no sense, Another thing I feel like you'd also judge songs not just on the melody but also the lyrics so: Sunsetz - Cigarettes After Sex : Any song by them man bc they're lyrics are basically always so 🙏🙏🙏 Heavenly - Cigarettes After Sex : "Tell me it's love, tell me it's real" MAN 😢😢 LET ME SEE YA MOVE! - Lumi Athena & Cade Clair : HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT IT'S JUST REALLY GOOD OKAY I'M NOT PROJECTING (I might be)

@copyhanni : hey...😼😼 okay but you're giving me Chase Atlantic, The Weeknd, and Tory Lanez full stop. You'd be more chill but also upbeat?? but like less cute and more roadtrip-with-your-headphones-in-esque: Out of My Mood - brian mantra & gate 문 : I think indie would be up your alley too, esp brian mantra I love him sm Bloody Hands - brian mantra : another one, his songs don't have too much going on I think instrumentally and his tone is AWESOME it's just 🔥🔥 Swim - Chase Atlantic : need I say more the synth and drums are EVERYTHING.

@suneng : okay just because you said you like Sunflower I want to think that you really like Metro and Swae Lee (bc SAME.) Also these songs imo seem really nice to study to, and to me you come off as an academic in a way so I think this fits (STEM girlies 🙏): Too Many Nights - Metro Boomin, Future & Don Toliver : the bass the BASS god I love the bass SO MUCH. I remember being a trap hater when I was like 11 chat I was WRONG. I think you'd fw this honestly I'd say its pretty easy to like and super catchy and just very chill Love me Harder - WOODZ : this is a very bassy music selection I'm gonna be so embarrassed if you don't like bass 😭😭 but the guitar here was life changing I think you'd love this Link up - Metro Boomin, Don Toliver, wow there's a lot of people involved in this one hold up: Afrobeats/Raeggaeton I'm not very sure but its really good sigh...honestly I think any spider-verse soundtracks you'd probably love.

@stariikis : not sure what it is but imo you'd be into maybe something softer ykwim? Def have wave to earth on your playlist somewhere there has to be 👊👊 Kind of similar to riri I'd say something a little calmer ykyk: daisy. - wave to earth : such a good song wave to earth man GOODNESS. I think this is such a perfect song for the vibes you give off The Long Drive - tv room : okay tv room is a little eccentric with the hyperpop and everything but I think this is one of the tamer songs from him, much slower tempo than his usual ones but still super upbeat in a way An Art Gallery Could Never Be As Unique As You - mrld : long name alert 🚨🚨 jokes aside I think you'd be into songs with less synthetic instruments in it instead and this song is perfect for that

@nishiriki : okay I really had to squeeze out the brain juice for this one and its gonna be such a huge stretch but hear me out you sound like you like rap,,, maybe nothing too dark lyrics wise like JID but something sort of playful-ish... okay let me just get the songs out I think i'll make more sense then: Two Tens - Cordae & Anderson .Paak : see like something a little silly but still nice to listen to, like the kind of songs you'd play in the car with your friends, otw to some random place to hang out LOVE. - Kendrick Lamar : again, the entire damn album still has me in a chokehold to this day there's no way. This is def my favourite from them all though (and a huge obsession of mine rn) and I think it matches you really well PICK IT UP - Famous Dex & A$ap Rocky : I was obsessed with this like a few years ago and then that dance challenge came and I got obsessed again. I don't think I've ever seen so many interludes in just one song before and it's so well done like its so goofy oml, no but I'd think you'd be into rap that's a little more upbeat, less serious ykyk ++Blueberry Faygo honorable mention here

chat I may have yapped just a tiny bit...okay but I fs missed a few moots since I haven't interacted with them enough to justify the music they'd be into I think 😭 nah but if you want me to write you in too please let me know bc I'd be more than happy to :)

[laufire]

several sentences sunday

I asked for people to send me key words so I’d share excerpts from my WIPs where they appear. I decided to post them all together, for this weeks SSS :P

@gecemi09 asked for the wip guessing game, 'died'?

Taken from my (Jay)Mia fic set a few years down the line in the new earth continuity. The plot so far is basically 1) Mia’s character development, 2) Jaymia romance LOL. This was inspired by tt03 #31, where Mia displays some knowledge of past Teen Titans that leads me to believe she really did her research.

The second Robin hadn’t died as a Teen Titan, the way Aquagirl or Phantasm did, but Mia had once read on him and his time just the same as on the others. He’d revealed himself as Red Hood to other heroes shortly after Mia’s debut on the team, when he came to size his successor up in the Tower, and Mia had thought that face-heel turn more tragic than what Brother Blood did when he paraded the corpses of the other fallen teens. She thought about it, now. Robin had died. It was something she never could quite wrap her head around with Ollie, who she’d meant fresh out of the grave and by all accounts largely unchanged. It was somehow easier to do it with Jason; when death changed nothing, it was rendered meaningless. After all, that was the reason why, every year, Mia made sure to remember Albert Davis.

@hellispeacefullandempty asked: Gonna give you fire and sorrow for the WIP guessing game

For fire, have something from my Jason Survives series (which I’ve named “No Death in the Family”, Because).

The first thing Jason felt once he finally woke up was the phantom licks of the fire on his skin. A pained whine escaped through his lips, alerting whoever remained in the room with him. “Ja- baby?” a woman’s trembling voice said, “Are you awake?” Sheila’s palm burned against his wrist.

And for sorrow, something from my Jaytim Ghost WIP.

In his dreams, Tim was the one burrowed inside Jason’s costume, Jason’s body. Instead of standing in front of the memorial, from the outside looking in, he was trapped inside the glass. Immobile, on display, a mute scream tearing through his throat in abject sorrow.

@missbrunettebarbie asked: For the fic game: power

From my Jason & Duke Wild West Adventures WIP. BTW, I consider it… roughly in the same timeline as this one, and other “future canon” ideas where I have some character developments set in stone (in this case, Duke’s introduction in the preboot continuity + his dynamic with Jason), but they’re meant to stand on their own.

“Don’t you think it’d be a waste to kill someone to save me, if by doing so you fuck up the timeline so much there’s nowhen to go back to?” Duke snarked, almost perfunctorily. In matters that concerned Duke, Jason had always made his priorities clear. As reassuring as it could be to know where he stood with the man, Duke always resented such displays of one-sided overprotectiveness. Maybe, especially, from Jason. He seemed too busy to reply, examining the stolen guns with a conflicted expression. If Duke had to guess, Jason was divided between mourning the loss of modern functionality and appreciating how fucking cool the cowboy aesthetic looked on him. “We don’t know shit about how this works, kid,” he finally answered. “The timeline could splint, or we might’ve always been meant to come here and do whatever it is we end up doing. A bullet on your head? We know how that works. Besides, all that is moot point until we find someone with the power to take us out of here.”

thanks to everyone who sent an ask ^-^

[badaziraphaletakes]

In which some poor innocent unsuspecting reader submitted an ask and I respond by throwing an entire textbook at them

Like seriously i won’t even be upset if no one reads this PhD dissertation, like actually what is wrong with me omg

The ask:

I want to start by saying I love this account and really appreciate the rebuttals I see here to some of the messed up stuff the fandom’s spit out over the past few years. That being said, the most recent post about “the creepiest take you’ve ever seen,” was one I disagreed with strongly. It’s entirely normal to enjoy watching media where characters have breakdowns. It is not a desire to see a person breakdown. It is a desire to watch a good story.

(Edit: Just realized I somehow omitted to include the full text of the ask here. I apologize for the error! Will fix it soon. -Mod X)

My response:

Hi and thank you for your kind words! (Also idk why there is this huge gap in the text here, sorry haha!) If it were a necessary part of the story, or a part of the story that made sense, I would agree. But it’s not necessary (esp not at this point in the story) and therefore wouldn’t be “good”, if we are defining good art as being emotional truthful, which I imagine is a pretty uncontroversial definition.

Side note: We already saw him have this exact shattering breakdown in Uz. So that renders most of what I am about to say (and arguably some of what you have said) somewhat moot. But I’m going to continue anyway because some of the points brought up here touch on issues that I think bear re-visiting often.

It’s cathartic, it’s engaging, and it helps people who’ve been through the same thing see themselves reflected. For example, I like watching someone on tv hit rock bottom with their addiction because I’ve been through that, and seeing them finally realize they have to work on recovery and actually do it is motivating and empowering.

I’m so sorry you’ve been through that. I haven’t (although I am estranged from an entire side of my family due to alcoholism and meth addiction, which is a whole fun thing), so I can’t comment on this too much.

But addiction is not the same as an ab*sive relationship. (I do have knowledge of those, both from life experience and from my previous job in ab*se research. I edited a newsletter about family violence research for several years.) Seeing a person suffering from addiction realize they want to work on recovery, and realize that the substance they are addicted to is messing up their life, can make sense. Especially if they're in a place where they're able to work on it and have the opportunity to try to change.

But seeing an ab*se survivor “realize they need to get away from their ab*ser because they’re evil and have a breakdown about it” doesn’t make sense, because being trapped in an absive situation is not about “motivation” or what they think about the abser or even, really, about "empowerment". (Side note that word is thrown a lot to delude women into thinking our capitalist system is working for us rather than oppressing us. But I digress.) It boils down to the fact that they are in danger if they leave. The situation is not within their control.

(This next part is not directed at you, but at the general readership, in case this is helpful discussion for anyone: A lot of addictions aren’t within people's control at all either. It depends very much on the drug we’re talking about, the health of the individual, the quantity and duration of the addiction, whether the person has access to the healthcare they need to be cured, and whether there’s a way for them to get free from the broader societal dysfunctions that led to them being trapped in this situation in the first place.)

Also, with addiction, people can absolutely get past that without losing their sense of self and their identity. If they go through that kind of crisis in the process of healing from addiction, I would argue that something is very wrong. (Not with them, but with the society around them). In a best-case scenario, a person suffering from addiction would have access to the kind of mental and physical healthcare and support system that lets you get free from that without a shattering breakdown or loss of sense of self.

Besides, not everyone who has an addiction has toxic beliefs about themselves or their own identity or other people, etc etc. (Babies who are born addicted come to mind, if we want to talk about the most extreme example.) So I find the idea that addiction is down to toxic beliefs about one's self very suspect. I would argue that 95% of the time, addiction happens because your life sucks. The mental health community is starting to have this conversation about depression and anxiety - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to work on one's "limiting beliefs" and "destructive thought patterns" can only do so much to help you feel better when your whole life is shit anyway. And it can actually make it WORSE if the victim is made to believe that their depression is the fault of their "Faulty thoughts" rather than a reasonable reaction to a shitty situation. Not necessarily saying we should throw CBT out the window altogether, but I am saying that mental healthcare will be a LOT more effective when it learns to truly take the broader societal context into account. I suspect, I hope, we'll soon be having a simialr conversation around addiction.)

And that’s doubly the case for ab*se survivors. They’re not stuck in that situation because there’s something wrong with them that they need to fix. They’re stuck in that situation because there’s something wrong with the ab*ser.

Regardless of the victim’s personal worth as an individual, regardless of whether they’re a good person or what-have-you, they don’t deserve to be ab*sed.

(I'm just waiting to hear about how some therapist tells a victim to work on their "limiting belief" that they need to stay with their ab*ser in order not to be killed, and/or tells them that fearing their ab*ser will kill them is a "cognitive distortion", and tells them to stand up to their ab*ser and/or leave, and then the ab*ser kills them. But I digress.)

And the loss of self when separating from a toxic system that’s defined your whole life is a real thing some people go through. It’s not bad consider that Aziraphale could also go through that, or to want to see that experience reflected.

I want to be very clear that I don’t have the smallest objection to people wanting to see that in a show. But a. that’s not what the person was saying, and b. they were also saying it’s necessary. IT’S NOT. I can’t emphasize this enough.

Loss of self is the worst-case scenario for how something like that goes. Nothing good comes from that. That is a side effect of ab*se (because the ab*ser’s the one who says that “Everything you are is bound up in me and you’re nothing with me"), not an integral part of the process of getting away.

Trauma is not necessary for character growth.

The way these things should go is that the person is able to gradually and mindfully work through the beliefs that are poisoning them with the help of a therapist, trusted friends, etc.

I know what I’m talking about. I worked in trauma research for over seven years. Please trust me on this one.

And again, Aziraphale can’t “separate” from them anyway. There’s nowhere he can go where they won’t find him. So his beliefs are irrelevant to his situation. And if the show implies that his beliefs “need to change” as part of the earth being set free from heaven-hell’s tyranny, or that he “needs to change” in order to be free, I will be writing a strongly-worded letter to the creators.

But more importantly, *they didn’t just say giddy.* They also said apprehensive. Perhaps they’re apprehensive because they know it could be painful to watch. Or because they don’t want to see it handled poorly.

“Giddily apprehensive” sounds an awful lot like “excited” to me. I admit it is ambiguous, though, so I’ll give you that one. I maintain that the OP expressed themselves with an exceptional lack of grace, however. And fwiw, they’d be FAR from the first person to want to see Aziraphale suffer because they are mad at him. I think I have good reason to believe that's what they're getting at here, given how many people in the poster's orbit say the same kinds of things and how many other things I've seen the OP say that are along those lines. I acknowledge I should have made that clearer in my original post.

They aren’t giving this advice (if one could call it that) to a human. They’re saying they’re excited to see a character breakdown. Character arcs like that are common and enticing for good reason.

I have yet to see a reason why I should believe that the things people say about Aziraphale are different than the things they say about people in real life.

I would point you to a couple lines down where you say yourself that we respond to characters the same way we respond to real people.

Personal growth ≠ character growth.

But what makes a good character is that they act like real people.

As an audience, character growth (even negative) is engaging.

Yes, absolutely. But we can absolutely do character growth in a way that does not spread harmful mindsets or misinformation about what ab*se and recovery from ab*se looks like. In fact, I would argue that character growth can’t happen if the writer doesn’t write the characters to behave in a way that is realistic to real life.

Characters follow the same rules, though. We respond to characters the same way we respond to real people. The same general rules of personal development and so forth apply.

The idea that “Aziraphale realizes his ab*sers are terrible” is something he needs to do for his “personal development” is highly objectionable. He doesn’t need to grow in this area. He just needs his ab*sers to leave him alone. Side note: We should give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he already does think they’re terrible and only stays with them because he is terrified. Even if this hadn’t been strongly and frequently hinted at in every episode going all the way back to S1E1 - almost every scene, in fact - we should still give him the benefit of the doubt.

Also, even if we say, for the sake of argument, that Aziraphale was a terrible, awful, horrible person - I know you’re not saying that, to be clear - even then, he still wouldn’t “need to realize his ab*sers are terrible” or “have a complete breakdown” or “lose himself” in order to grow. That's not how growth works. The best growth happens when people are at peace and safe and loved. Not frightened and confused and alone. He never chose them in the first place, he never wanted to be on their side. If he were left alone, he would just spend the rest of eternity reading his books and eating Eccles cakes and snuggling with his former-demon. That’s who he really is. There’s nothing about him as a person that needs to change. I agree a story where a person loses their sense of self after escaping from an ab*sive system would be interesting to watch, but I maintain that it does not make sense for the context of this particular story. And, such a story would NEED to make clear that the person wasn’t bad or wrong for deriving some part of their sense of self from the ab*ser and that they shouldn’t have had to have a catastrophic breakdown in order to develop their own sense of self. No one should have to go through that.

It’s not the same thing as asking for personal growth from a real human being.

Good characters do not operate according to different emotional and psychological rules than we do, though. If they didn't, we wouldn’t have millions of people sobbing about how real Aziraphale and Crowley feel to them. We would be the biggest dodos in the world if we were reacting this way to paper dolls 😄

Comparing the desire to see a character go through a dramatic storyline like that (and to come out of it strong and shining) to fundamentalist rhetoric is… just total bullshit.

You said this blog has been a good place for you and I want it to continue to be that way for you. So I want to give you a chance to revisit this part and see if you can say something more constructive. Because I've gotta admit, this really made me upset and I can't let it go without saying something. It’s not cool to call someone’s commentary “bullsh*t” like this.

I heard the line “we must die to ourselves” many, many times from the high-control religion of my childhood. It is a classic cult line. Hence why so many cults have "burial and rebirth" rituals, make people change their names, etc.

I am not just making up a comparison. This is a real phenomenon. Controlling ab*sers are the ones who’ve given us this idea that “death of the self” is character growth. It’s not. Character growth happens in spite of those excruciating emotional crises, not because of them.

Growing as a person is supposed to feel good overall. Not always easy, but on the whole, it should be a positive experience.

Also - Again, they said he “needs” to do it.

And they didn’t say anything about Aziraphale “coming out strong and shining”. You added that in. I think it's wonderful that you want to see that for him (so do I) but that’s not what this person was saying

If they'd said that, I wouldn't object to it at all. But they didn't. That part was left out. Which I think may be very telling in itself.

There are a myriad of reasons someone could have that desire, including having gone through something similar themselves.

Having gone through something similar doesn’t necessarily mean it makes sense for another character. It also doesn’t mean it’s necessary. And having been through something that went a certain way does NOT mean that it happening that way makes sense for someone else.

Deconstruction from a religious upbringing is different from leaving an ab*sive relationship

Aziraphale doesn’t have religious trauma. (I’m not going to talk much about religious trauma and deconstruction here, because it’s outside the scope of this blog, largely because - as attested by no less an authority than Neil Himself - Good Omens is not about religion. But I’ll say a little bit.)

Heaven and hell are not a “religion” in his world - they’re real. His fear of hell (and of heaven) is absolutely, one hundred percent, completely legitimate and appropriate, and NOT something he should be “reasoned” out of. Saying otherwise gives “your ab*ser isn’t actually that evil and scary”. But regardless, in either scenario, that kind of traumatic personal crisis is not a necessary part of the healing process. My heart aches for all the people whose deconstruction process was emotionally shattering. But what makes it ache even more is how for so many of them, the takeaway is somehow that that kind of crisis is necessary - rather than "dear god, i hope no one else ever has to go through that kind of hideous experience to get away from their shitty religion", which surely is what the takeaway should be (assuming there even is a lesson to be learned at all from an experience like that, which is doubtful) - and they go on to demand it of other survivors and gatekeep against people who haven't gone through the exact same thing they did in the process of getting away.

How, HOW did we get to a point where so many people’s deconstruction is a fucked-up, scarring experience that we think it’s inevitable for deconstruction to be that way????? I grieve.

I know the idea of killing one’s old self is inherently wrong to many people.

It’s not about whether it’s *wrong*. If that's valid for someone and they get where they need to be - you do you. It’s about the fact that it’s painful and it’s unnecessary to the process of growth.

Furthermore, it is the kind of thing ab*sers WANT to see happen to their victims when they leave. They want victims to think that they have to have that kind of crisis if they want to leave them. Because then they’re less likely to leave. When we encourage that kind of thinking, we are playing directly into their hands.

What should happen is that the victim should be given the opportunity to realize that all along there was much more to them than their ab*ser.

I don’t personally desire to watch Aziraphale do that, especially because there are so many wonderful aspects of the Angel he’s been since the beginning

Agreed.

But fwiw, this is giving a faint whiff of perfect victim syndrome. Even if he were an asshole, he still deserves to just have his ab*sers leave him alone, not to have some kind of shattering, soul-crushing emotional breakdown. They will always, always be worse than him.

but it’s not wrong to want to see that. People do go through it, and their stories are incredibly compelling.

I don’t disagree. For me it’s rather about the place this is coming from. OP was saying it’s necessary. There’s a difference between wanting to see a show address this issue overall because it’s interesting, and demanding that a specific character go through it because you think it’s necessary, or that their process of leaving and healing won't be legitimate (or whatever word we wanna use) if it doesn't happen.

And, as you said, it doesn’t make sense for Aziraphale. If the character is an asshole, I’d be able to see it a little more (although again, I still very much question the entire idea in the first place) But he's not an asshole. I find anyone’s thinking it “makes sense” for him to be highly questionable.

I know Aziraphale is much more than a character to many people

Speaking as a (very, very, very slightly, lol) professional writer and actor - every character should be “more than a character”, if they’re well-written. They should feel real if the writer and/or actor has done their job well. I like NG's line that "If you write someone who is utterly and completely themselves, you get people coming up to you and going 'Oh my God, you wrote my life!'

a desire to watch him go through a psychological breakdown is not some poorly concealed desire to watch real people go through that.

It may or may not be. I agree that it isn't always.

In this person’s case, though, I very much did get concerning vibes. Poorly concealed. (As an ab*se survivor, you start to know the vibe of victim-blamers after awhile.)

Regardless, though, the way we respond to characters is the way we respond to people in real life. Story is a primary vehicle through which people learn how to interact with one another and their environment. If it wasn’t, discussing media along these lines would be pointless, and I'd just spend all my time talking about how good David Tennant looks in those tight pants 😁 Or, probably, I would take up a different hobby altogether.

I wouldn’t have wasted my time starting this blog if the things people say about this story and especially about Aziraphale didn’t have real-world applications (not to mention making a lot of ab*se survivors feel very unsafe in the fandom - before we turned off anonymous asks, I got an average of two messages a day from ab*se survivors and other oppressed people telling them how this blog has made them feel so much safer in the fandom) - and if their views about the characters didn’t mirror the kinds of things they’d say about people in real life. (All the anti-Aziraphale autiphobic takes come to mind.) I flatter myself I have enough judgment that those takes wouldn't have troubled me so deeply if they weren't reflective of real-world societal problems and indicative of problematic attitudes in the people who write them.

In this case, the wording is identical to the kinds of problematic things people say about real-life victims/survivors. Yes, the person may not actually consciously want (or want at all) to see real-life ab*se victims/survivors suffer. But I absolutely, one hundred per cent guarantee you that anyone saying this has some major problematic biases/assumptions that are contributing to how ab*se survivors are maligned, degraded, and oppressed in our society. (I never want to see Disabled people suffer, but if I say ableist things, I’m contributing to it whether I mean to or not. I may not want to see women suffer, I am a woman, well more or less anyway lol, and I've identified as a feminist my entire adult life, but nevertheless there have certainly been times in the past when I've said sexist things. It's something all of us will always have to be vigilant against in ourselves. I suspect at this point I'm preaching to the choir, because you do not strike me at all as a bigoted or ignorant person, but I figured I'd re-iterate all that again anyway, because screaming it through a megaphone as often as possible is what this blog is for lol. :)

And what’s worse, they are spreading that rhetoric. I’ll be damned if I’ll let it go by without saying something.

Hope this makes sense and cleared some things up.

With love and respect,

Mod X.