#some fresh thyme

[fieriframes]

[SOME FRESH THYME, COFFEE GROUNDS, AND THEN A LITTLE BIT OF INSTANT ESPRESSO. AND SO THE UNIVERSE ENDED, BUT HOW DOES THAT COFFEE GROUND DISSIPATE? IT DOESN'T BREAK DOWN. IT GIVES IT ALMOST LIKE A TOOTHSOME--]

[rubenesque-as-fuck]

Mushroom and caramelized onion tart, V.2

[official-lucifers-child]

would you eat apple pie topped with cheddar cheese

fuck yes i would, that sounds absolutely delectable right now

[saul-goodboy]

good soup….

[ja3hwa]

♡ 𝐥𝐚 𝐝𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐱𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐬𝐞 | 𝐊.𝐘𝐒 ♡

Day Nineteen - Bath sex

【Synopsis】 : You searched far and wide for the perfect spell to bring Yeosang back to the earthly plain, and now that he's here, you're gonna use your time wisely of course.

『Word count』 : 2.47k

-> Genre: Angst. Supernatural. Smut. Dark romance.

Pairing: Ghost!Yeosang x Witch!Reader   

[Warnings] : Magic. Witchy stuff. Pet names. Poorly made up spells. Swearing. Death. Making out. Unprotected sex. Soft sex ish. Kinda mean dom yeo at one point. Loss of virginity. Mention of toys. Religion and other stuff like that, ehehe.

Networks: @wonderlandnet @illusionnet @cromernet @k-vanity

Note: I wrote a little something for Sangie a while back [This hehe], and I ended up making a full fic out of it. So if you want to read part one, you can, but this could be read as a stand-alone ♡♡

The title "la douleur exquise" is a French phrase meaning "exquisite pain," but that doesn't convey the full force of the sentiment. It specifically refers to the pain you feel for wanting someone you cannot have.

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It had been over five months before anyone caught on you were still trying to communicate with the ghostly apparition in your family home. Your parents had begged the priest for advice, having been convinced the poltergeist had some sort of spell cast over you, making you some kind of slave to the mortal world.

But they didn’t know the truth. They didn’t know the last nights you spent talking, finding out little details about one another that no one knew about. Sharing little moments that would make your heart skip a beat while Yeosang's undead cheeks would feel a phantom feeling of warmth. You continued to look for a way to bring him back, searching far and wide for new grimoires and magical material that could help in your research. But nothing… it always managed to land empty-handed.

Brewing with frustration, you opted for a nice long hot bath. It was almost one in the morning when you concluded that is what your body was craving but you felt it was fitting. And since all the maids were out, you decided that it was the perfect time to try out a new spell you found. A spell you have been saving just for your little ghost friend.

“I hope you don’t mind.” You whispered into the cold room while waiting for the hot water to rise in the golden claw-foot. You were clutching your robe tightly against your body as you placed a basket full of items in it on the counter. “I thought I could give you something…”

‘what did you get?’ was what Yeosang wanted to say as he watched you from the corner of the room. He watched you intensely, making a cold chill creep down your spine. You could sense his energy, his presence. You began to unpack the contents of the basket, placing candles around the bathtub, countertops and windowsill. Lighting each one as you placed it. ‘What on earth are you doing, little mouse?’ 

The nickname slipped off his tongue but no sound rebounded. He was going to grab some of the water to get your attention but before he could, his eyes locked onto something that would have taken his breath away if he had any. The evocation grimoire. How on earth did you manage to get your hands on one of them and how did you manage to hide it from him? “I want to see you…to know you…”

You opened the book, looking through a recipe before emptying items into the filled bubble tub. A few strands of fresh Thyme, a herb that gives peace to those who have died from violence. Apple skins, Chervil, Myrrh and Almond milk and six lit candles to complete the spell. “I want to be able to touch you…”

You pulled the string of your robe letting it fall before slowly slipping into the tub, feeling the warm water relax your muscles. Yeosang eyes never left your naked body, licking his lips, he groaned. He studied every blemish. Every scar. Every mark on your gorgeous body. If he wasn’t dead already he most certainly would have felt like he had just died from the sight of the goddess in front of him. He felt a tingle in his hands, then his toes and head. He felt like a fire was lit under him but in the best way possible. His chest tightened, making him hunch over. His hands braced for the counter and normally they would simply just pass through the marble but this time, that hit the with a solid ‘oof’. Something was happening. Something… He felt a change. You opened your eyes, looking over to the corner of the room. Your breath hitched.

“H-hi…” There he was, the man you had fallen for. He was even more handsome than you thought. His slicked-back hair, and angelic facial structure. Eyes a deep brown, almost the shade of a classic lathered couch or the richest chocolate. Yeosang placed his hand on his neck for a moment, trying to feel a pulse…but there was nothing. Even though you brought him back to the physical plane it was only temporary.

“Hi…” His voice was deeper than you thought, almost velvety. His eyes gazed down seeing you leaning against the edge of the tub, your shoulders glistened in the candlelight, making you look like a vintage oil painting.

“It’s nice to finally see the man that shamelessly likes to try and woo me.” You giggled sitting back into the tub. This angle gave him the perfect view of your soaked tits. But your eyes wander downwards with a smirk. He hadn't noticed the chill creeping up his body, let alone the fact he was standing stark naked in front of you. But then again, he was probably proud, his cock growing another inch as you slowly sat up, revealing more of yourself to him. He was big, you’d give him that. “So are you going to join me or are you intending to relieve yourself alone from afar.”

Your words made him finally look down, taking in his bareness. But his smirk never faltered, in fact, it grew. He wasted no time in closing the gap between you both. It wasn’t until his shin met the tub that he stopped. Your hand was stretched out, waiting for him to take it. But alas he was frightened. It’s been so long since he had felt another touch and part of him worried that if his fingers grazed yours, he would not feel anything or worse, feel everything.

“Come on, I won't bite.” your soft voice was music to his ears slowly hypnotising him, making his head spin. “Unless you want me to.”

“Don’t tempt me.” He growled, finally grasping your hand. He swore he felt his heart skip a beat in that moment as he took a deep breath, letting you lead him into the large tub. You laid back down while Yeosang caged you from above. His left leg was slotted between your thighs, making his knee brush ever so slightly against your bare, soaking core. “What are we doing little mouse…”

The sombre whisper of the pet name made you shiver as you placed a wet hand on his ice-cold cheek. As if out of habit, he nuzzled right into your palm, taking in your scent. Taking in the warm feeling of you. His eyes fluttered closed for a moment, letting you take the lead by slowly moving your other hand over his body. He was beautiful and so young. It still baffles you why someone had to kill him. Take his life away… The night was quiet, only the sound of water shifting and deep shaky breaths could be heard. Everyone sleeping soundly, god, what would your parents think if they were to see you now. Casting spells, having a strange man naked in the tub with you. And worse, the man was their enemy.  “You are more handsome than I could have ever imagined.”

Yeosang had to chuckle at the little hiccup in between your words. You looked so small under him, heck, if he was alive he could probably break you. But he wouldn’t no, unlike the hatred he carried for your family he had reluctantly fallen in love with you. “And you are just as beautiful as the day I first saw you.” He finally replied, dipping his head closer until his mouth was mere inches from your own. Your lips part instinctively, eyes darting from his eyes to his plump ones. “Still the cute little mouse trying to play with silly spells.”

“Those silly spells brought you to me, didn’t they? You’re here.” You smiled, lifting your head up to brush your mouth against his, you could feel his tongue snaking over his lips, leaving a trail of saliva on your own.

“I’m not completely here, my songbird…” He lifted his hand that rested on the edge of the tub to grasp your wrist, dragging your hand over his chest until it was over his heart. “I’m still dead. I’m only visiting this plane…”

“Is there a way to bring you back permanently?” You spoke with such desperation it made a lump in Yeosangs throat. Here you were his enemy's daughter, trying to bring him back. Trying to erase your parents' mistakes. He moved back, taking your hand that still held his face and shifting it slightly so he could place a small kiss on your palm. And then your wrist, before slowly kissing up your arm. You held your breath as he went closer to your shoulder, noticing his eyes flicked to your half-covered chest. The milky water only just covering them.

“There is a way… but it requires something you won't be able to do.” His voice was shaky, thoughts flashing through his mind. He felt guilt, mixing with greed. He wanted so desperately to be alive again but he could never ask you to perform such an act. He could ask for you to take someone's life let alone someone that has value to you. Someone you actually love. He wasn’t worth the trouble.

“Tell me, I’ll do anything for you.” you squeaked out, grabbing his face. And without another thought, you smashed your lips on his, causing him to let out a lewd growl. You moaned in response as you pulled away slightly, making him chase your lips. “Tell me what you need.”

“Don’t worry about that…. Let’s just focus on the fact that I'm here right now. You can feel me and I, you. Nothing else matters right now.” he inched closer for another kiss, pressing his lips sweetly against yours. It felt like a broken promise. The sadness lingering behind the gentlest touch. He was here, he could have you. But for how long…

You snaked your right hand down his chest, ever so slowly moving it until it reached his abdomen. Then you stopped. You waited. His grunt followed by a sly bit of your bit gave you all the permission you needed to continue your wonder. Slowly finding his cock hard against his tummy. You breathed sharply through your nose as you traced your fingers along his shaft. He smiled through the kiss, bucking his hips slightly at your soft touch. His shaky thrusts kept up with your hand as you jerked him off. The kiss quickly became rougher, his tongue slipping inside, dancing around yours while teeth clashed against one another. All of it made you dizzy.

“Y-Yeo…” You muttered against his lips, your hand tightening around the tip of his cock. This caused him to pull away with a sharp breath, feeling himself already close to the edge.

“What is it, little mouse…” He sat up slightly, the moonlight that shone through the curtains had hit his chest perfectly, illuminating Yeosang. He almost looked god-like above you.

“I need you…” You have suddenly become at a loss for words, unsure what to say. You need him, desperately. But your voice cannot speak it. So you bucked your hips instead, the water sloshing around as you did. If possible, Yeosang's smirk had grown bigger, knowing exactly what you were trying to ask. But he was not going to give it to you so quickly, nor kindly. He wanted, needed you to say it.

“What is it, my sweet little witch… Say it.” His hand crept up your thigh, lifting it over the edge of the tub so he could fit in between you more snugly. “Tell me exactly what you need from me.”

“I n-need…” You gulp down the lump in your throat as your ears begin to ring and your mind starts to fill with cotton. You felt his cock rub against your soaked cunt, almost giving you what you needed. "I need you inside me. Please. Please."

He leaned down under his lips, grazed your ear, his breath tickling your neck. "Your wish is my command."

A silent gasp pierced through the quiet night as you felt him dive inch by inch into your warm pussy. His whole body shook, feeling like he was about to combust then and there. But he took a deep breath through his nose, finally bottoming you out. "Fuck you feel so good. So tight. Have you ever been fucked before?"

His filthy blabbers made your head spin as you moaned along with him. "No. But I’ve used things."

He sat up stunned, you were a virgin. Of course, you were. You are a young Christian woman, not betrothed and from what he knew you weren't interested in anyone…He had tainted you and he didn’t even realise. “Used things huh. What have you done, baby? Let me.”

He picks up your other thigh, throwing it over the other side of the tub, letting him sink deeper inside your cunt. Your hands flew to his shoulders, nails burying into flesh. His lips latch onto your neck, sucking in hard red and purple marks, drawing high-pitched whimpers from you. “T-Toys…my fingers. Anything. You had me realise what I was missing. What I was craving. I couldn’t stop. I needed to come so badly.”

“Awe, my sweet little mouse, all horny ‘cause a ghost showed interest in her. Did you even care that I was killing your family…” He snapped his hips, making the milky water splash loudly out of the tub. “Picking them off one..” Snap. “By…” Snap. “One..”

“Fuck Yeosang! Please. I love you.” you don’t know why these words left your lips but it felt so right.

“Love me?” He drew back his hips, sitting up so he could, wrap your legs around his waist, locking himself in place. “I’m a murderous witch out for blood, and you love …me.” Even though his voice was deep and dripping with lust there was shock hidden beneath. “You never cease to surprise me, baby.”

“P-please…” You hiccuped feeling tears begin to pool in your eyes, “Please say it back…” You sounded pathetic, but you didn’t care, no all you cared about was hearing those words slip out of Yeosang's mouth, even if they were faked and forced you needed them. Just once.

“Hmm.” Yeosang chuckled, slowly his thrusts until he was only at a slow but precise drawing you closer and closer to the edge. His face was inches from yours again, just barely feeling his lips brush yours. “Open your eyes darling.” You listened, your wide eyes meeting his cold, dead ones. You were both so close, just a little more you thought, reaching down to press a finger on your sensitive nub He stared into the abyss of your soul through your begging gaze. It was like he could almost hear your thoughts. .“I love you too…”

He finally said.

[fuckingrecipes]

How do I make mindblowing spaghetti sauce? I have been gifted a fuckton of homemade canned tomatoes and nothing but time this weekend.

Do the tomatoes have skin? If so, you'll need to dump them into a bowl and remove the skin by hand. Tomato skin in sauce is no bueno.

Are your tomatoes whole? If so, you'll need to quarter them & remove the seeds & goo in the middle.

Is there lots of excess water around your tomatoes? Drain that out.

If your tomatoes have already been deskinned, seeds removed, drained and quartered; proceed to next steps.

If you want a finer sauce (less chunks), crush or dice the tomatoes now.

--

Make sure your pot is big enough to handle ALL the cans of tomatoes you'll be using at this time. For the sake of being easier to handle, I recommend no more than 3-4 cans/mason jars at a time in the pot.

For each can of tomatoes, get yourself 1 small-to-medium onion, and a couple cloves of garlic.

Chop all the onions. Crush & chop OR mince all the garlic.

In a saucepan, burner set to 'high', add enough butter that you can lean the pot around and coat the bottom. Let it melt completely.

Dump in all your onion.

Stir the onions around constantly, mixing and flipping them over until all the onions are starting to turn just thoroughly translucent, but not quite turning brown yet. (If they start to turn brown, turn the heat down a little)

Once they're translucent, push the onions to the side so you have some of your pan-bottom showing and dump your garlic in. Smush it flat-ish so most of the garlic is touching the pan. Leave it there until the bottom of the garlic is turning brown, then mix it all into the onions.

Immediately dump in all the tomatoes you used to make those onion calculations earlier. Toss in some red pepper flakes (use your own judgement here.)

For each can of tomatoes, add about 1-2 ounces of vodka or rum. (there are a lot of amazing, rich tomato flavors which can only be revealed using alcohol, and not oil or water)

For each can of tomatoes, add roughly 1 tsp of salt, if they weren't canned using salt.

Turn the heat down to 'low' and let it simmer (stay on the heat, producing lots of steam but few, if any, bubbles) for about 5 minutes.

At this point, you can add your herbs.

You want: Basil, Oregano, Thyme, Savory, Majoram, and Sage. Many Italian Seasoning or Mediteranean Seasoning blends will have them.

You can choose to use all of them, or only what you can find. For a cheap and tasty blend, Badia Italian Seasoning Blend is easy and works well.

Personally, I think a little bit of nutmeg, sumac, and sesame seeds is also lovely but it's not "traditional" Italian. A "Za'atar" spice blend should have the sumac with oregano and thyme if you can't find it as a standalone spice.

You can also track down fresh herbs, make a big herb bundle tied with string and dump it in your sauce to simmer, instead of using the dried flake stuff. Or do some fresh, some dried.

Your sauce will be looking 'wet' or 'liquidy' at this point, and will likely have tomato chunks still. You can use a potato masher to crush the tomato chunks if you want, but it's not required.

Let it keep simmering on 'low' in 5-minute increments to evaporate water off. Remember to stir every time you check the pot. It may take 30 minutes to reduce down to a thick 'sauce' texture, if there was lots of water in your tomatoes.

When the sauce consistency starts to look 'saucy' and thicker, check and stir more frequently. Babysit the pot.

Taste the sauce! Add salt to taste. (About 1-2 tsp at a time, mix thoroughly, re-taste, & repeat until it tastes great.)

TIPS:

Keep an eye and nose on your sauce at all times, especially if it's in its thicker stages. If it seems to be burning AT ANY TIME, immediately take it entirely off the heat and stir rapidly to cool it! The smell should always be 'stewing tomatoes and herbs' not 'burning or roasting'

--

If you want your sauce to have a 'brighter/fresher' tomato flavor, make sure to strain as much liquid out as you can before starting, so you don't have to cook the tomatoes as long.

If you like the savory 'cooked/stewed' tomato more than you like the fresher 'uncooked' tomato flavor, then leaving more water in the beginning will make a longer cook time, and more thoroughly stewed tomato.

If you don't have hand-canned tomatoes, you can also use canned tomatoes from the store.

[d3add0vedonoteat]

Chicken Soup for Carmy

⚠️ Content Warning ⚠️ harsh language, sexism and violence in one scene (not from Carmy). Hurt/comfort, fluff.

A/N: I’m literally feral for this man. I’m sick atm and I started thinking about taking care of Carmy while I was making chicken soup. Bonus combo with Carmy protecting you from an asshole customer. Not proofread bc my brain is rotting. Plz be nice this is my first time posting a fic 🥺

-

It was cold. You braced yourself against the harsh Chicago wind as you made your way briskly down the street. After a late night phone call from your brother sent you into a spiral, you couldn’t sleep. You’d been tossing and turning all night until finally, at 4am, you flung off the covers and got dressed. It wasn’t a surprise that you’d come here. This place consumed all your mind and your heart since you started working here a few months ago. You used your key to unlock the door in the alley, sighing with relief as the warmth of The Beef welcomed you inside. It was quiet, the lights were down, it was peaceful. You slipped off your sneakers trading in your kitchen clogs and tucked your things safely away in your locker. You tied your handkerchief on your head as you moved. It was so comforting, the routine of The Beef’s prep work. You felt so at home, moving from the prep area to the walk in, diligently beginning the tasks that didn’t need to be started for a few more hours. He would understand. You thought to yourself as you began to prepare fresh stock for the day. He was a man after your own heart, your boss, Carmen Berzatto.

Avoidant, chaotically emotional, one wrong thing away from a complete meltdown, that you both disguised as workaholic tendencies. As you finely chopped onions, your mind quieted. Everything was shut out except for the task at hand. Your brother’s angry voice on the phone accusing you: “you never come home! You don’t even care about us! You can’t take come take care of your own mother?!” was drowned out by the rhythmic pound of your knife on the cutting board. You were in the zone.

Until a voice startled you out of your bubble. “Chef?” You jolted, looking up at the man before you. Carmy’s hair was messier than usual, the bags under his eyes were deeper and more purple. His lips were parted with each soft breath he took. He gave you a quizzical look. “What are you doing here?”

“I uh-” your mouth felt dry and you tripped over your words, as usual when he set those intense blue eyes on you. “I couldn’t sleep.”

Carmy nodded, not pushing you any further. All he said before moving toward the office was a simple: “Heard, Chef.”

You watched him go, noticing the slump of his shoulders and the labor of his normally spry step. There was no mistaking it, Carmen was sick. You stared at the office door for a long moment before you made up your mind.

You set a heavy bottomed pot on the stove with some olive oil. Your hands moved with well practiced efficiency as you chopped garlic and onions, celery and carrots. The garlic and onions went in first. Then the celery. A sprig of thyme and a dash of white wine. While that simmered you quickly seared some chicken breast and chopped it into perfectly bite sized pieces. All into the pot with chicken stock and water, tightly covered to develop the flavors. Next came the pasta. You cracked eggs into the well of flour, mixing and kneading until it became a smooth golden dough. You carefully, tenderly rolled the dough and cut it into thick, short noodles. A bath in hot water to cook, then they too joined the pot. In no time at all, you were ladling a generous portion into a bowl. You set a toasted piece of chibatta on the side, grabbed a spoon, and took a deep breath in an attempt to settle your nerves. Softly, you knocked on the office door.

“Yeah?” His voice responded.

“Chef?” You entered, nervous. Words failing you as they so often did in his presence, you set the bowl before him. Carmy’s eyes widened. The aroma made his mouth water. He looked to you, gaze softening. “You made me chicken soup?”

Your cheeks grew warm. “Y-yeah, I mean chicken soup always makes me feel better when I’m sick.”

Carmy couldn’t believe you. You noticed? He smiled at you. You were so beautiful. You were always so confident and sure on the line, delegating with efficiency, respect, and authority. He had hired you the second you stepped into The Beef. Your resume was impressive but there was something in the way you carried yourself that truly earned the golden reputation you had in the culinary industry. But you were different with him, in the occasional moments like this where it was just you and him. Shy, almost bashful, gentle, and soft. He loved it. He wanted more of it. He lifted the spoon, bringing a bite to his lips.

“Gotta get a little of everything.” You muttered, eagerly awaiting his response.

Carmy shot you a sideways smile. It was good. No, it was better than good. The warm broth slid down his throat and each bite exploded with a depth of flavor he couldn’t believe. It was pure comfort. It reminded him of being a little kid staying home sick from school. Curled up on the couch while Jerry Springer played, eating crackers and ginger ale until his mom would bring a bowl of chicken noodle soup. But this soup, your soup, was more than that. People always talk about cooking with love but he swore he could taste it. Each ingredient had been so carefully handled. Perfectly chopped vegetables, moist and flavorful chicken. The warm feeling in his chest grew as he inspected the bowl.

“Did uh, did you make this pasta fresh?” He asked, eyeing you.

“Yeah, it’s better that way.” You blushed.

“Thank you, chef.” He said. “It’s really, really good.” Carmy looked down, suddenly feeling heavy. The fear of closeness set into him and all he could think about was how he’d fuck this up. “You-you didn’t have to make this for me.”

“Oh, it’s okay!” You insisted. “It was no big deal.” You began to leave, giving him one last truthful smile. “I like taking care of you.”

“I like taking care of you.” Your words rattled through Carmy’s mind all day. Throughout all of lunch, prep, and dinner he couldn’t stop thinking about what you’d said. The soup you had made was the first thing he’d eaten in too long. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had cooked for him and you’d just done it because you noticed he wasn’t feeling well. No motive, no games, just tender love and concern.

Love.

Carmy shook his head to try and shake the thought from his mind. No, no, no there was no way you actually cared about him. Not like that. You were just being nice.

That’s just who you are; nice. You were always so kind. The way you’d help Marcus workshop pastries, the way you’d make Tina laugh and listen to her talk about whatever trouble Louis had gotten in, how you’d encourage Sydney and remind her that she can do this. Even the way you’d throw snark right back at Richie or how’d you’d always set aside a portion of Family for Fak and Sugar, even Pete. You were always thinking of others. Carmy wasn’t special.

Yeah. Not special.

Carmy insisted the thought as he scrubbed the grill. Not special. Not special. Not special.

“Carmy?” There you were. You were always there. You had a thick denim jacket on, bag on your shoulder, knit beanie pulled down over your hair. Your brow furrowed at the sight of him. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Carmy shook his head. “I’m fine… you uh- you heading out?”

You shrugged, hoisting your bag a little higher on your shoulder and eyeing him skeptically. “Yeah. Are you?”

“Yeah, in a bit.”

You chuckled, more exasperated than humorous. “No.”

“What?” Carmy asked, confused.

“No, you’re leaving too.” You insisted. You were feeling bold. Months of long looks and his hand on your lower back every time he passed you had culminated tonight.

You had taken over the front for Richie while he ducked out to take a call from his daughter. You’d insisted. It was slammed for dinner but everything was going fairly smooth until an irate customer approached you.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” He’d asked, slamming his plate onto the counter.

“Excuse me?”

“I mean are you retarded or something?” He continued. You were stunned into silence. You had never had anyone speak to you like that. “How hard is it to make a fucking sandwich? I know your tits are bigger than your brain but Jesus fucking Christ it’s not hard!”

“I-I…” you were shaking. “I’m sorry that you’re not satisfied, sir. If you like, we can-”

“Not satisfied?!” He screamed. “How can I be satisfied with this piece of shit!”

He hurled the sandwich at you. It hit you in the chest, toppings and sauce splattering everywhere. Before you even knew what was happening, a blur of messy curls shot past you. Carmy launched over the counter, tackling the man. His fist collided with the man’s face over and over while Richie and Fak rushed after him. There was a cacophony of yells as Richie pulled Carmy back. “Get your girl!” Richie yelled. “Cousin! Go get your girl!”

Fak and Richie dragged the man out and threw him into the street. Carmy’s hands grasped your cheeks.

“Hey, hey, are you okay?” He wiped the sauce splatters from your brow. “Look at me.”

Carmy burned with anger as he watched you shake. Your white shirt and blue apron were covered in the sandwich. He imagined what you would do for him if he was in your position. How you’d care for him, how you’d tend to him… so he tried to do what you would. Gently he guided you to your feet and wrapped his arm around your waist. He practically carried you to his office where he sat you on the couch and quickly went to grab a clean shirt from his own locker. You were in the same place he left you when he returned. Carmy knelt before you, taking your face in his hands once more.

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay.” Tears welled in your eyes and you collapsed into his arms. He smoothed his hand over you back, repeating “it’s okay” over and over again. He felt like he was on fire. The feeling of you clinging to him, nuzzling your face into his neck, the smell of you, how you fit in his arms… it was too much. He wanted to run away and never speak to you again. He wanted to wake up next to you every morning for the rest of his life. He wanted to scream. He wanted to feel your lips against his. He wanted to find the piece of shit that yelled at you and rip him to pieces. He wanted your chicken soup every time he was sick.

All those feelings were closing in on Carmy once again as he stared at you across the kitchen. You still had his t shirt on. You were looking at him expectantly.

“Sorry, uh… what did you say?” Carmy’s voice was softer than he expected.

“I said I’ll walk home with you.”

“Oh, no that’s okay. Ive got to-“

“Carmy,” you stepped closer. Your voice was firm but so tender. “You need to get some rest. Come on, I won’t take no for an answer.”

He couldn’t help but smile back at you. “Alright…” he conceded.

The two of you braced yourselves against the cold and hurried down the sidewalk side by side. You argued about who would walk who home. Carmy insisted on walking you to your apartment but you protested on the grounds that he’d just go back to the restaurant once he dropped you off.

“Fine,” you gave in. “But you have to call me when you get to your place so I know you made it home!”

Carmy looked at the ground, smiling. The warmth in his chest from your soup was steadily turning into a molten pool of lava.

“Heard.” He grinned. You wanted to know he’d made it home. You wanted to make sure he rested. I like taking care of you.

“Well, I’m just up here.” Your voice stopped his thoughts from spiraling before it could even start. Carmy’s brow furrowed. “What?” You asked, puzzled by his sudden change in demeanor.

“You live over there?”

“Yeah? Like a block down?”

There was a beat of silence before Carmy let out a breathy laugh. “I live right there.” He pointed to the building on the other side of the street.

“No shit!” You laughed in earnest. Your hand came to rest on his arm. “Guess I’m gonna be walking you home more often.”

Carmy’s entire body was on fire. He could imagine the tingle of your soft hand on his skin through all the layers of clothing. He wanted to hold you close again like in his office, but this time you wouldn’t be crying. A deep pit opened in his stomach. How long before he made you cry? How long before he fucked it all up? Until you hated him and quit the restaurant and everything fell apart because he-

“Hey,” your voice. Always your voice that brought him back. When he looked over at you it was like everything but your face faded into a blurry background. You were all Carmy could see. “Do you want to come to mine? I haven’t eaten and I KNOW you haven’t either.”

Carmy’s heart fluttered. “O-okay.” He started, his confidence rising when he noticed your hand was still in his arm. “Only if you let me cook you something.”

“Ooh,” you smiled. “I’d never turn that down!”

Carmy chuckled, feeling lighter for the first time in years as he walked so close beside you that your shoulders brushed. “It won’t be as good as your chicken soup.”

[kitchenwitchtingss]

50 KITCHEN WITCH TIPS TO MAKE YOU FEEL MORE WITCHY

(And other useful things I've learned over the years)

Hi! This is a list of dos, don'ts, tips, tricks, and other fun things that I've learned over the years. I always love finding more effective and efficient ways of doing things so if you have any cool things you'd like to add, leave them in the comments or reblog. I'd love to read it.

Anyways... On with the list ^_^

Light candles around your kitchen space (just make sure nothing flammable is near you)

Annotate your cookbooks with the correspondence of the ingredients.

Mediating is really good to calm the mind before cooking.

Cut oranges and lemons thinly, dry them, and hang them with twine around your kitchen

Need a cleansing tip? Open all your windows near your kitchen. Let some fresh air in.

Cutting sigils into apples, pie crusts, and carved potatoes.

Save lemon and orange rinds, freeze them, and then use them to clean the garbage disposal.

Make infused oils and honey: Things like garlic honey, lavender honey, herb oil, sun oil, moon oil, dandelion oil, and other different edible oils are very fun and useful to make.

Hid sigils in pages of your cookbooks and kitchen witch journals.

Add some plants! Snake plants and spider plants don't need too much light, and growing your own herbs in your kitchen is awesome too. Basil, lavender, thyme, aloe vera, rosemary, etc. are good fits. You could also add some plants that require more sunlight on the kitchen window sill. Like cacti and succulents.

Bring crystals into your kitchen space such as rose quartz, clear quartz, amethyst, or whatever you want the space's intentions to be.

I keep a small money tree on the sill, along with cacti for luck and protection.

Make a simmer Pot! Mostly because it makes the whole house smell good, easy, and fun.

Stir clockwise for best results!

Learning how to pickle things is actually pretty witchy. Plus, anyone could do it as it requires absolutely no kitchen experience. You could pickle any vegetable, even if you don't like pickles. I originally learned this after having to take shelter from a natural disaster. A person brought a bunch of stuff and taught us how to pickle things with different spices and herbs. Very fun!

Decorate your kitchen with your favorite stuff. Crystals, decor, heat mits, that cool mushroom cake stand you've been eyeing at the World Market for the past 2 weeks, cool looking curtains, sun catchers. Why stop there? Paint the walls, hang shelves full of marked-up cookbooks that are a little too well-loved and thumbed through.

Wanna be the person that has the amazing-smelling house every time people come over? Syrups take some time to simmer down, it's actually a pretty good time to leave it on the stove to simmer. Since syrups have a lot of aromatic ingredients, it acts as a really good-smelling simmer pot.

Hang up herbs to dry with twine from cabinets that are rarely used.

Invest in that new set of plates and cups.

Homemade jams, butter, sauces, and syrups are your best friend.

Crochet or knit your own dish rags, pot holders, etc.

Don't pour extremely hot things into a glass that's not Pyrex, it will break, and you will be very sad about it.

Don't cook anything while extremely upset or emotional (For safety reasons)

Make recipes you want to make, not just because you'll like the effect. Make it because you think it's tasty.

Chinese Five Spice works in place of herbs for protection and luck spells a lot of the time! It's cheaper to buy 1 spice than 4 different spices that total up to 15 dollars when you could just spend 3-4 dollars.

Take a shower before cooking (I don't know how to explain this one other than it makes you feel better)

Don't use microfiber/plastic material clothes on hot burners, it will fuse to the burner and melt. It is VERY hard to get off.

I don't know if I need to put this one but I did see someone do it so nonstick pan = wooden utensils and plastic utensils, metal pan = metal utensils. Do not use a metal spoon in a nonstick pan, please. It can make you very sick.

Keep your pets away from hot oil, open ovens, and hot pans.

You can proof bread dough in the fridge overnight if you don't have the time to bake, or want to eat fresh bread right in the morning.

Need a quick witchy meal for dinner in 12 minutes? Use premade tomato pasta sauce and doctor it up with thyme, rosemary, and garlic, for protection and distilling stagnant energies. Serve with pasta of your liking.

You can substitute Butter for Crisco/shortening, buttermilk for 1 cup of milk + 1 tbsp apple cider vinegar or lemon juice, and heavy cream for 1 cup of half and half plus 2 tbsp of butter.

Use leftover animal bones to make bone broth

Teach yourself the art of bread scoring (It's fun, and you can show it off to your loved ones!)

Collect and hoard your own and others' family recipes.

Sometimes the food doesn't have to be a spell, sometimes it just makes you feel good and you don't know why.

Listen to your favorite music in the kitchen, it makes the monotonous things like chopping veggies move faster.

Invest in a vegetable chopper if you don't like chopping vegetables.

Find a really good hot cocoa recipe and make it once a week. Master it. Just for your own happiness because hot cocoa is really good. You could also be the friend/family member that makes the best hot cocoa ever.

Focaccia Bread Lasts a very long time, and it's very easy to make!

Keep a first aid kit near where the oven is, in case of burns, cuts, or serious injuries where time is everything.

Quick Bread and no-rise loaves are simple for beginners, tasty, and take little time. They also feel very witchy to make.

Study a bit of Herbalism! It's fun and really helps better understand the herbs you're putting into your food.

While something is boiling, put your wooden spoon over the pot to minimize the chance of something boiling over.

Try a bit of coffee magick, it's simple to get into, and gives you a boost of energy to take on the day!

If you're over 21, wine-making is a very interesting way to celebrate the sabbats. Just with that, make sure you KNOW what you're doing. With anything fermented, there's always a risk if you don't store things correctly. Apple wines, strawberry wines, dandelion wines, etc. all very cool to experiment with. If you're not over 21, vinegar is a similar way to experiment.

Hang up some witchy things, sigils, photos, cool magnets, and other things that give you joy on your fridge. (Sometimes if you are lucky they have some fun magnets at five below)

If you live in the US, for some reason, there are a lot of books in the book section dedicated to witchcraft and spirituality. At least where I live. And they are all under 5 dollars!

Teas are the cheapest and easiest things you can practice being a kitchen witch.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Notes: Herbs, Spices & Seasoning

Herbs and spices can add flavor and variety to your food.

Use a little at first, then add more when you are sure you like the flavor.

To substitute dry herbs for fresh, use ¼ teaspoon powder or 1 teaspoon crushed for 1 tablespoon fresh chopped herbs. Some herbs and spices are expensive.

You might want to buy only a few of the less expensive herbs and spices you will use.

Herbs and spices lose flavor and can spoil or get buggy if kept in the cupboard longer than a year.

If you use herbs and spices slowly, buy small containers, or store them in the freezer.

Uses of Herbs, Spices & Seasonings

Allspice - A mixture of cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves. Use in fruit desserts, pumpkin pie, apple cider, cakes, cookies, chicken, beef and fish dishes.

Basil - Tomato and egg dishes, stews, soups and salads

Bay leaves - Tomato dishes, fish and meat dishes

Celery seed - Juices, soups, salads, vegetables, pot roasts, poultry, rolls and biscuits

Chili powder - Chili, bean and rice dishes

Chives - Potato dishes, soups, dips and sauces

Cilantro - Latin American, Indian and Chinese dishes, salsa, stir fries, (Coriander leaves) legume or rice salads, hot cooked rice, grilled chicken or fish, or a dish of ripe tomatoes. Use fresh if possible.

Cinnamon - French toast, fruit and fruit salads, sweet potatoes, pumpkin and squash, puddings and apple desserts, ham or pork chops

Cloves - Whole cloves on ham or pork roast; ground cloves to season pear or apple desserts, beets, beans, tomatoes, squash and sweet potatoes

Coriander seed - Middle Eastern dishes, spice cakes and cookies, soups, roast pork and salad dressing

Cumin - Mexican, Middle Eastern and Indian dishes; beef and lamb, dry bean dishes, marinades, chili and tomato sauces; ingredient in curry powder

Dillweed - Tuna or salmon salad, potato salad, pickles, dips and sauces

Garlic - Mexican, Italian and Oriental dishes and in salad dressings; can be used fresh or dried, minced or powder

Ginger (fresh) - Oriental dishes, marinades for chicken or fish, fruit salad, dressings

Ginger (ground) - Gingerbread, spice cake, pumpkin pie, poultry or meat, soups, stews, stuffing, squash, sweet potatoes

Ground peppers: black, Cayenne & white pepper - Meats, casseroles, vegetables and soups

Italian seasoning - A mixture of marjoram, oregano, basil and rosemary; use in Italian dishes such as spaghetti

Marjoram - Egg and cheese dishes, meats, fish, poultry and vegetables

Mint - Fruit salads and fruit soups, melon, berries, cold fruit beverages, cooked carrots or peas, chilled yogurt soup, lamb, tabbouleh

Mustard - Sauces for meat and fish, in marinades, salad dressings, chutneys, pickles and relishes

Nutmeg - Cooked fruits, pies and desserts, baked items, spinach, sweet potatoes, eggnog and French toast

Onion - Any dish where onion flavor is desired; can be used fresh or dried (minced or powder)

Oregano - Italian dishes, chili, omelets, beef stew, meat loaf, pork and vegetables such as broccoli or tomatoes

Parsley - Meat, soup or vegetable dishes; adds color

Paprika - Stew, chicken, fish, potatoes, rice and hard-cooked eggs

Rosemary - Egg dishes, meats, fish, soups and stews, and vegetables

Thyme - Fish, poultry or meats, in soups or stews, vegetable salads

If these writing notes help with your poem/story, do tag me. Or send me a link. I'd love to read them!

More: On Food More: Word Lists

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

"scalloped" taters, an Old AF family recipe that was only written down in the last 20 years or so, with no measurements anywhere on the recipe card

oven-safe dish. preferably lidded, but loose aluminum foil works fine too

potates, however many you want or need to use up, sliced as thin as you get can them without a mandoline because no one in the family has ever had one

onions, halved and also sliced thin, quantity relative to how much you like onions

all purpose flour

milk (or halfnhalf if you're a decadent lil guy. you can also use unflavored and unsweetened nondairy milk. i've never tried it, but relatives have and reported positive results)

butter, either room temp so you can plop little bits of it or cut into tiny cubes

seasonings (salt, pepper, i've added fresh thyme and sweet paprika before to great success, old bay because i was half asleep and thought it was paprika and it was fine, nutmeg, five spice, go ham)

add a layer of taters to the bottom of the dish, not specified how deep, but flat double layer turns out best by my experimentations. add some onions. sprinkle some seasonings on it to taste. sprinkle some flour on it. again, no measurements, i use at least one heaping big soup spoon's worth of flour per layer, a solid dusting but you should be able to still see the potatoes through it. a few dots of butter. cannot stress enough that this is how the got dam recipe is written

repeat layers until you run out of potatoes, pressing down as needed. you want a little room between the top of the taters and the lip of the dish. or just bake it with a sheet pan on the rack below it if you're paranoid. don't flour the top layer of taters, butter it liberally instead. how much butter do you want? this is a recipe from 1890s southern usa, home of Eating Fat Recreationally, so the traditional answer is "too much"

the strongest vibe check: pour an unspecified amount of milk (carefully) into the potatoes without disturbing the layers. i usually put the milk in my nicest measuring pyrex with the good spout and pour slowly against the side of the dish. "how much milk?" you might ask naively, like i once did. "enough" is the answer i got. i usually pour until i see the whole mass of taters/onions/flour just start floating off the bottom of the dish. top layer not fully submerged but rubbing elbows with the milk. i like saucy potatoes. the temperature of the milk doesn't matter. i've simmered shit like garlic and bay leaf in it before pouring to great success

bake at 375 until it's done. literally word for word what the recipe says, doesn't say to cover it. i do so i can control sauce thickness and browning, but even that isn't necessary. i start checking after 20 mins. when it's done, the taters and onions will be soft all the way through and the milk/flour/butter/seasonings will have thickened into a sauce. how well this sauce hugs the taters and onions will entirely depend on whether my great great great grandmother reached through your spoon to help guide your flour to milk ratio. too runny for your liking, take the lid off and bake it some more. too thick, add more milk, push it around a little bit to mix, and bake it some more. the world is your potato

it's at its best after a 10-15 minute rest, but it isn't necessary. amount made is also relative; i have done a single serving of this in a ramekin with one (1) potato, quarter of an onion, in a toaster oven, all while very very sick, and it turned out splendidly. it's solid comfort food, 20/10 if great³ gramma possesses you during assembly

------

ooooh ty ty

[fieriframes]

[GOT SOME FRESH THYME. THYME.]

[zombie-graveyrd]

Protection Oil

I recently started up my practice again and the first thing I made was a protection candle and some oils. I haven't shared any witchy things in a while so here is how I make protection oil.

You can use any oil, I prefer to use olive oil. I also put red pepper and a rose thorn in there because I like them. I would also have added egg shell powder but I didn't have any. You can tailor this to what ever you have one hand. The world is your oyster do whatever the fuck you want. You can wear this oil, lock mirrors, windows, add to spells, ect... Personally I like to put it on before I do spell work. Stay protected witches !

Olive Oil

Salt - purification, cleansing

Sage - protection, hex breaking

Red pepper - warding, spell amplification

Parsley - protection, purification

Thyme - protection

Black salt - protection, dispel's negative energy

Rose thorn - repellent for negative energy, baneful protection

Tigers' eye - protection

A petition with intentions

Edit :

I forgot to add this the first time.

Do not put fresh herbs or shit that has water in it into your carrier oil. It can create botulism. Make sure everything you add is dried.

[samwisethewitch]

Grocery Store Fire Cider

I try to always have fire cider on hand during the colder months. Fire cider is vinegar infused with warming, expectorant (mucus-clearing) herbs to help clear out gunk from our respiratory system. It's great for clearing up congestion and helping with wet coughs. Since pretty much everyone in my house tends towards wet cold symptoms (congestion/runny nose, coughing up mucus, etc.), we go through a lot of this stuff every cold and flu season.

I take a shot of fire cider as soon as I feel congestion or a wet cough coming on, or if I've been around someone I know is sick. While it doesn't always keep me from getting sick, I do think it helps speed up my recovery and keep my symptoms less severe.

A lot of fire cider recipes online and in herbalism books call for less common herbs that need to be purchased online or from a speciality herb shop. This year, I decided to make a batch with only herbs you can buy cheaply at most grocery stores. Here's the recipe for my fellow herbalists on a budget!

You will need:

A quart mason jar

1 whole head of fresh garlic, peeled and roughly chopped, OR 3 spoonfuls of pre-minced jarred garlic

3 knobs of fresh ginger about the size of your thumb, roughly chopped, OR 3 spoonfuls of store-bought ginger paste

1 package fresh thyme OR 2 tablespoons dried thyme

1 package fresh sage OR 2 tablespoons dried sage

1 quart apple cider vinegar

There are two methods I've used to make this cider. The traditional method is a slow infusion that takes 2+ weeks, but I've also developed a fast infusion method for when I feel a cold coming on and need a batch of fire cider ASAP.

Traditional Method:

Add your herbs to a clean mason jar. Pour the vinegar over the herbs and fill the jar to the top. Put a lid on the jar. (Vinegar will corrode metal lids, so either use a plastic lid or place a square of parchment paper between your jar and the metal lid.)

Place the jar in a cool, dark place and allow it to infuse for at least 2 weeks and up to 1 month. You can strain the herbs out to store at room temperature, or you can do what I do and store the whole thing in the fridge, herbs and all.

If you leave the herbs in, you can keep this batch of fire cider going all winter by topping the jar up with more vinegar every time it gets below halfway full.

Fast Infusion Method:

Add the herbs to the mason jar like you would for the traditional method. Instead of adding vinegar, fill the jar halfway with boiling water. Let sit for 2-3 hours.

Once the water has cooled down to room temperature, fill the jar the rest of the way with vinegar. Let it sit overnight and then either strain the herbs out or store the whole thing in the fridge.

To use the fire cider, take a shot glassful whenever you feel cold symptoms coming on. If you made your cider with the traditional method, you can dilute it with water if your stomach doesn't handle acid well. You can also mix in some honey to improve the taste.

Please note that fire cider and other folk remedies are not a replacement for medical care. I highly recommend staying up to date on your flu and COVID-19 vaccines in addition to using remedies like this.

[kedreeva]

My mom ditched several pounds of tomatoes from her garden on me, so I did the only sensible thing and made fresh pasta sauce from scratch. I feel like I should actually plant a garden and grow some goddamn tomatoes because this shit is about a thousand times more flavorful than what I've been eating all my life.

I blanched the tomatoes (bring water to boil, remove stem core from tomato, put in boiling water for like 30 seconds, transfer to cold water, skin basically falls off), and put them into a food processor with olive oil, fresh basil, salt, and a few garlic cloves, then moved that to a sauce pan to reduce with mushrooms and red wine, and I ended up adding some dried thyme, sugar, garlic and onion powders, smoked paprika powder, some grated parmesan, and a tiny smidge of baking soda. If I had had any oregano I would have added that, but I didn't.

Anyway I'm going to use this tonight with leftover rotisserie chicken shredded up with some elbow macaroni and mozzarella cheese and stuff.

[galacticnikki]

100 Witchcraft Tips in 100 Days!

Day 3 - How to Turn Herbs into Loose Incense

Turning your herbs into a blend of loose incense is a wonderful way to connect with the energies in your plants. It not only can be used to make your home or living space smell nice, but can also be used for a variety of practices. Whether it's for smoke divination, cleansing, or spells there's a blend for every intention.

Gathering Ingredients

There are 3 types of ingredients used for loose incense; herbs, resins, and wood shavings. Herbs are the most versatile of the bunch. There are a plethora of different herbs each with their own correspondences. Some notable basic herbs that every witch should have laying around somewhere include basil, bay leaves, chives, cilantro, dill, oregano, mint, parsley, rosemary, and thyme. Resins are your tree saps, these include frankincense, myrrh, pine sap, and dragon's blood. Wood shavings are self explanatory, they're pieces of bark and wood from trees. Make sure before proceeding that you know the herbs, resins, and wood shavings are safe to burn. Some herbs, resins, and wood shavings can be toxic to humans and pets.

Preparation & Blending

To prepare your herbs to be blended into your loose incense you want to make sure they're 100% dried to ensure they don't grow mold and they burn well. You can dry your fresh herbs by hanging them upside down in a well ventilated room. Once the herbs are dried, use a mortar and pestle to grind dried herbs and resins into either a fine powder or coarse blend, depending on your preference. As you grind these herbs focus on what they do and how they contribute to your intention and blend them together. You may need to adjust the ratios depending on the strength of each ingredient, but you'll figure that out as you learn more.

Binding & Burning

Binding is an optional step when making loose incense, however, adding a small amount of powdered charcoal or gum arabic can help make your blend burn more evenly. When you're not actively burning your loose incense make sure to store it in an airtight container so it doesn't loose it's potency. There are multiple methods to burn loose incense, however, I like to create sigil shaped incense trails. There are multiple ways to make incense trails. One of such ways is to spoon the powder into a mold placed on a bed of ash, this method originates from China. The method I use includes pouring it out in the general shape of the sigil, then I pat it down with my fingers and fix any errors I may have made when compacting it. Once you've made your trail you simply light one end and let it burn.

Simple Blends by Intention

Protection Blend - Used for cleansing your space and creating a protective barrier against negativity

Rosemary (Protection, Purification) - Potent protector, often used to clear negative energy and set boundaries.

Bay Leaves (Protection, Strength) - Used in this blend to amplify the shielding energy.

Cedar (Grounding, Protection) - Provides grounding and strengthens the protection created by the rosemary and bay leaves.

Frankincense Resin (Spiritual Protection, Purification) - Used for protection and connection with your higher self.

Abundance and Prosperity Blend - Used to attract wealth and prosperity

Basil (Wealth, Abundance) - Used to draw wealth and secure success.

Cinnamon (Success, Prosperity) - Typically considered fast acting and bringing rapid results.

Mint (Financial Gain, Luck) - Commonly used to bring luck in financial matters.

Clove (Attraction, Manifestation) - Used to strengthen manifestation, helping to focus your intent on drawing in wealth and success.

Peace and Relaxation Blend - Used for meditation, relaxation, or healing after emotional stress

Chamomile (Calm, Relaxation, Healing) - Used to bring gentle healing, diffusing tension, and creating a peaceful atmosphere.

Lavender (Peace, Calming Energy) - Promotes peace, calm, and sleep.

Lemon Balm (Emotional Healing, Calm) - Aids in emotional healing and brings a gentle clarity to situations.

Mugwort (Dreamwork, Relaxation) - Used for enhancing intuition and calming the mind.

Spiritual Growth and Intuition Incense - Used for rituals focusing on spiritual growth, meditation, or divination

Sage (Cleansing, Spiritual Clarity) - Powerful cleansing herb that helps clear the mind and create a space for spiritual work. Please use common sage and not white sage.

Mugwort (Intuition, Psychic Development) - Enhances psychic abilities and helps to deepen your intuition.

Frankincense Resin (Spiritual Connection, Purification) - Aids in connecting with your higher self.

Cedar (Grounding, Spiritual Protection) - Provides grounding energy, ensuring that you will stay rooted and protected during rituals.

If you want to find more of these entries use the hashtag #100 Witchcraft Tips in 100 Days! If you want to join a group of witches feel free to join our 18+ coven on Discord.

[kcrossvine-art]

hi birds of paradise and of prey! I sincerely hope your 2024 has been kind to you so far, and if it hasn't, I hope it starts being fucking nicer soon. We got eyes on it and are ready to take it out should it fail.

I'm coming to the end of my list here soon, so if anyone has ideas on what they'd like to see next, please do hit me up! Even if its just a piece of media with interesting food in it and not a specific dish you wanna see. My roommate got me a recipe book from that TikTok fantasy tavern guy, "recipes from the lucky gryphon"? So we could also take a shot at a few of those, although im not really familiar with his work. Regardless-

We will be making Stuffed Cabbage from Lord of the Rings Online today!

(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)

MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS

SO, “what goes in to this Stuffed Cabbage?” YOU MIGHT ASKYou cant kinda put whatever you want for seasonings and even the meat filling. I used ground beef but pork and lamb are also stellar candidates.

Yellow onion

Garlic

2 eggs

Ground beef

Rice

A head of cabbage

Oregano

Thyme

Red pepper flakes

Cumin

Crushed tomato

Tomato sauce

AND, “what does this Stuffed Cabbage taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASKBa bawsa

Very, very filling wow

2 rolls filled me up for a meal and i made about 20-ish from one head of cabage

A bit plain tbh, the texture is great but I'd really double up on the seasonings

A blank canvas for you to impart your spice preferences onto

Reheating makes it taste almost identical to fresh

Would pair well with a hot sauce dip

could also go well with an artichoke dip

If you run out of room and need to layer the rolls, I'd try experimenting with pouring some of the crushed tomato and sauce inbetween the stacked rolls. Otherwise the ones at the bottom lack a lot of the tomato flavor. However it might make the bottoms on the rolls laying ontop soggy?

. Where rice called for, used long grain white rice

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I've never blanched anything before. Theres not much western food that calls for it, meanwhile whenever my friend from malaysia shows a dish they ate, 9 times out of 10 the vegetables are blanched. Much easier process than the fancy name might suggest- boil water and dunk the thing in until its done. Whatever 'done' may be for the thing you are cooking.

Also for the ground beef (or whichever meat you use) you don't have to cook it beforehand, but in doing two tries at making these cabbage rolls i would recommend you at least season your meat before mixing it with everything else. The meat will cook to a safe temperature inside the cabbage rolls, i just prefer the taste and texture of it when cooked twice.

I give this recipe a meandering 7/10 (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) I want to review more horrible recipes, truly i do, so that the rating scale isnt always a 6 and above, but whenever i try something horrible its like "why the fuck would i put all the effort into making and sharing a review of this thing i Do Not Want others to eat????" yknow?? Would people be interested in roasting horrible recipes? 

🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁

Ingredients:

1 yellow onion

6 cloves of garlic

2 eggs

2 lbs ground beef

1 1/2 cup cooked rice

1 large head of cabbage

28oz crushed tomato

14oz tomato sauce

Oregano

Thyme

Red pepper flakes

Cumin

Salt/pepper

Method:

Saute garlic and onion in butter over medium heat until onions are caramelized. When done, remove from heat and let cool.

Season the beef to your liking with cumin, red pepper, and salt. Very, very lightly cook the beef in the same pan used for the garlic and onions. Cook until it starts to brown, but dont let it darken. 

Beat eggs thoroughly with oregano, thyme, salt, and pepper.

Add all of the above ingredients together in a bowl with (cooked!) rice. Mix thoroughly then cover and let rest in the fridge.

Core and blanche your cabbage in boiling water, peeling them off as they become limp.

Once you've separated all the leaves, cut off any thick stems that would prevent the leaf from folding.

Put roughly 2 tablespoons of meat filling into each leaf. Fold the sides of the leaf inwards and roll it up. Place each cabbage roll seam-down into a casserole dish.

If they don't all fit in one layer, its more than okay to stack. Try not to stack more than 2 layers though.

Once you've used all the cabbage, take your can of tomatos and pour them over the rolls. Mix some oregano into the tomato sauce and pour that over the rolls as well.

Bake uncovered in the oven at 350 for about 2 hours. Dont worry if a bit of tomato on top looks burnt.

IF REHEATING LEFTOVERS: Bake 10 cabbage rolls in the oven at 320 for about 40 minutes. Reduce time for less rolls.