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lmelodie · 1 year ago

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The Day of Darkness

So I've been babying this idea for a week now because BlackIce angst/hurt comfort is my FAVE. So, since Killian is rather official unofficially CS canon, that means he was also around for the Day of Darkness. And I just wanted to see what the could've looked like. Fenagling the regular BlackIce timeline into the CS timelines for funsies!

Around 4.3k words for the curious. If you are unfamiliar with @safyresky characters this will make NO SENSE. Please read Crystal Springs. That is not a request 😌

564 CE

It was just a normal day! Or night where he currently was. That's how these things always start out. Everything is completely fine until it isn't. Killian was out in the field, doing his job. Sitting on a thatched roof in some unnamed human village, surveying the nightmares working en masse in the dimly lit homes. So, so ordinary, until it wasn't.

Until he feels it. A sensation that is very familiar to him, but never in such saturation as this. Almost like a really bad tension headache.

It's the pull of a massive collective fear spiking in Crystal Springs. The combined sense of doom from every citizen rippling through the entire continent. The whole of the country is doused in a terrible dread, and he can feel the pull of such a massive amount of unchecked fear in the back of his head.

And it felt wrong. The entire populace is all scared at once when they definitely shouldnt be. Something has happened and he doesn't know what. Something big. And he can't stand not being in the know. Especially when it's his domain to be concerned with. So he cuts his shift short and races off to Crystal Springs to find out what's got everyone in such a stir.

He trudged through the process of teleporting to the continent with much more difficulty than he was expecting. Something that's usually so effortless had him straining through the process. It left him wondering if he should even think about the possibility of doing that again once he reached his destination. And when he manifested the city center he could see why.

A horrible, terrible blizzard had taken the continent by the throat. Choking out any life that had once been idling in the streets. The gale force winds canceled out any other noise, big or small. And the tiny daggers of ice it carried on its back sliced through any open skin like paper. It was cold and dry and whiter than oblivion in all directions.

The sun was completely blotted out, plunging the magical world into an unusual and foreboding darkness.

The storm's presence assaulted Killian’s bodily senses as he stood in the midst of it. Not only his main five, but his sixth sense of fear factor was through the roof now that he was in the city. He can feel that everybody was hulled up in their homes; across all four corners, everyone feared what this could possibly mean. He stood in the middle of the whipping winds, squinting his eyes to try and see anything of value or use to him to figure this out.

But he did know one thing for absolute certain.

“Motherfucker!” he shouted into the howling winds.

He somehow knows that this whole charade he’s doing will also affect him one way or another. In a way that he definitely won't like dealing with. He can't decide whether he’s surprised about him doing something like this or not. A small part of him wants to believe that maybe this is Winters doing. Maybe he finally broke the poor woman and she finally snapped and went full snow queen on the Springs. But he knew that definitely cant be anyone else but him.

But before he could do any of that there was one place he had to go first. He knew Jack and his family would be doing just fine in a storm like this. One summer and three winter sprites should be able to hold their own.

But it was his own that might be having issues with conditions like these.

Again, it was a surprising trek and a half to teleport to the eastern province. He managed just enough to get to the massive open cave entrance on the evergreen mountain face. He wanted to be inside the thing, but just outside the front door will have to do.

But he didn't have a spare second to collect his thoughts before he was being shoved aside by a swarm of goblin citizens hurtling themselves through the cave entrance. Smacking into the back of his knees and shoving him a little of balance before eventually flowing around him when he didn't move.

The stragglers that were caught outside on their daily commute were trying to run back into the safety of the underground. Some more frostbitten than others depending on how far away they were coming from. The cliffside cave did most of the heavy lifting when shielding the city from the harsh conditions, but only somewhat. The goblin populace was still vastly unprepared for such a sudden onslaught.

But the moment he wasted in observing the chaos was short lived, as he too joined the trickle of people and all but leapt onto the stone path. He slithered through the shadows, swimming from one darkened corner to another at breakneck speeds. On the search for the only one here he really cares about.

He eventually finds Duna huddled up in her home, bundled in a heavy shawl, stoking an infant fire in the fireplace. He reforms just outside the smaller than average door and nearly kicks it off its hinges as he barges in.

“Duna!”

The goblin woman who carried the name turned to see the intruder. Her creased face lighting up upon recognition, nearly stumbling over herself to get to him across the cramped living quarters.

“Killian!” she called back in a thick romanian accent. She ended up squeezing the lower half of his legs before he set to crouch down to her level.

“Killian, that boy needs sense! Și-a pierdut mințile? (Has he lost his mind?)” she said, grabbing onto his collar.

“I have no idea what he’s done, let alone why. Definitely for stupid or petty reasons. Do you have any hypothermia?”

��Fah!” she scoffs with a grin, “Am văzut mai rece decât asta (i've seen colder than this). I lived under Regina Frosti!”

“I know, you're a tough cookie,” he says, “but these are nasty temperatures out there. You're all just lucky that the cave repels a good chunk of it.”

“We can't use the crystal balls,” she sadly explained, “Nothing gets through. Teleporters are down.”

“Yeah I know. Manual teleporting isn't doing much either. It's hard enough to cross provinces, but I bet it's damn near impossible to make it anywhere off continent.” He closes the space between himself and the floor and sits with his legs crossed, “The whole country is scared shitless so I had to come and see what it was about. But now I don't think I can go anywhere else.”

“Desigur că nu (of course not). You're not going anywhere,” she makes her way across the hovel yet again to continue stoking the fire.

“But I can't just sit here. At the very least I can try and find Jack and get him to stop the storm.”

“Use your head, Killian,” she sternly says, “Iarnă (winter) es a very powerful season. She will set things right, as every good mother does.”

His mouth tightens into a line, “I don't know. If she were able to, this storm probably wouldn't even be happening right now. Something isn't right here. And don't you trust my opinion about when things aren't right?”

“You're not going out in that storm,” she demands, pulling up a small wooden stool from the corner, and sitting herself down in front of the fire; sitting the iron poker against the wall with her palms facing the open flames, “Stai pe loc (stay put). The winds bite like dogs. You will freeze.”

He doesn't have any clever retort or valid point to throw back at her. Because he knows that she's right. Teleporting has been made difficult, and he won't last for very long if he just starts wandering out in those conditions. He crosses his arms and stares down at the weathered floorboards to try and think of something else.

“Babau.”

Killian doesn't move but looks up through his browline at the call of his nickname. Duna faces him over her shoulder with an unusually soft grin. A sense of tactness encases her sentiment, “Everyone will be fine. Calmeaza-te (calm yourself).”

And, surprisingly, begrudgingly, he did.

He, along with the rest of the springs, stayed in lock down for another full week. He occasionally lended a hand to Duna as she poured her efforts into helping those being hit the hardest in the town. One piping hot meal at a time. But Killian mostly kept to himself as the week crept on.

The blizzard never getting worse but staying painfully consistent. He watched from his ledge perch handing off the stone ceiling. He watches and he thinks and he waits and he stirs. He tries getting into Jack’s head to see what use this could’ve possibly served. Maybe a little area here and there, but the whole country? He could help but wonder if he’s actually gone off the deep end this time. What on earth would have set him off.

But after the week was up, and after everyone had given the ordeal a somewhat inaccurate name, the storm finally cleared. Everything was still frozen over but the air didn’t hold any malice anymore. The creatures of the springs poked their heads out of their homes to see that they were in the clear.

And now the cleanup work began.

Killian was quick on the uptake and immediately went to Frost manor to see if Jack was lingering around. But not even the usual residents were there. Eventually nearing dusk he managed to find Blaise giving instruction to a group of assumed city council members just outside the springs themselves.

Of course he asked about Jacks’ whereabouts, but his father provided little detail and was very avoidant about whatever thing had transpired that caused the blizzard. Says he wasn't anywhere near Crystal Springs and he hopes it stays that way. Praying for his son's own well being that he never comes near the place again.

When seeing Killian leave, the governor couldn't tell whether he should be angry at him by proxy or to pity the poor fool.

So Killian began a more extensive search for Jack. Another two days went by of him trying to juggle his usual job spreading nightmares and trying to hunt down Jack for an explanation. Of course he checked his home in Sweden first thing, only to turn up empty.

This proved to be the same outcome for other local haunts that he searched along the way. Spots in Norway, Greenland, Canada and Iceland all came up empty. Wherever he was, he was somewhere terribly far away or terribly hidden to avoid any potential fall out. Somewhere he himself probably didn't think too hard about.

And that's when the lightbulb went off.

Baikal.

Killian went trudging through the ankle height snow in the surrounding forests of Lake Baikal in Russia. Sleep deprivation showed on his face and under his eyes, but carried not in his body as he searched. He was perhaps more determined about this than he should've been. A bit more invested in this idea of looking for him than what was necessary. Definitely more than anyone else thought of doing.

You ask anyone else and they’d tell you they were glad he’s flown off to Timbuktu or farther. Happy to be rid of him.

But not Killian. Whether such determination was a good thing or bad thing, he continued onward. Sending out a swath of sentient shadows to cover more area.

It's one of less visited areas outside of work. But he comes here to think and to mess with the lake water during the winter. And after a moment more of almost aimless walking, he thinks he finds him.

A shadow came back with knowledge in tow of a strange fixture in the snow a couple miles ahead. So that's where he went. He slips between shadow and solid form to then search the supposed area of laden activity.

“Jack!” he calls.

It doesn't matter if he wants to talk or not, if he’s outright avoiding him as he wanders the vicinity. Killian has always been an excellent hunter, and he will find him eventually whether or not Jack himself wants to be found.

And it was then that he spotted the structure of snow in the distance. An unnatural rise in the snow levels. Killian moved as fast as he was able in the snow and closed in on the half wall. A wall of packed snow waist level high that formed a perfect circle. Leaning over to look inside the sunken indent was none other than Jack.

Laying on his back facing the heavens, and completely unconscious.

However, as a first reaction, Killian was more irritated at him than anything. Not having put all the pieces together quite yet. Of course he couldn't make this easy for him. He never does after all.

‘Oh for fucks sake.’

“Jack!”

He brute forced his way through the tiny walls that surrounded him, crumbling the snow as he passed through them.

“No sleeping on the job asshole! You got some explaining to do!”

Killian stood over Jack and kicked him in the leg in an attempt to stir him. When that didn't work he tried it a second time but just a little harder. Also a failure. He even tries a third time, even harder. But the physical assault does nothing. At this he cocks an incredulous eyebrow, and annoyingly crouched down to his level.

And it's only when he gets closer does the hostility finally start to dissipate. The hardness in his eyes ever so slightly softens as he gets a better look at the state of him.

He has the odd scorch marks on his sleeves, blackening the area and even exposing the burned skin underneath. More week old burn marks also adorned his hands, and his face was not much better. It was now that he fully settled to be sitting on his knees, gently taking the sides of his face in his hands, leaning in even closer to discern the visible damage.

A micro-bruise on his nose, another scorch mark far up on his forehead and a few shallow, scabbed over cuts in odd places on his face.

Suddenly the mask cracks. The terrifying persona that was The Boogeyman slips away in the cold presence of no one else but him. The silence of the forest around them rings out and imposes itself upon the pair. Killian’s deep and small breaths caught in clouds of white; his thumb absentmindedly running over his cheek.

He wracks his brain on this exact thing that Jack has told him about before. A sprite thing that puts them in a coma or something. He’s said something about it before, but he just couldn't be bothered to care at the time. And for the life of him he can't remember if it was physical or emotional damage that put them out.

He sighs, and lifts his head up to scan the general vicinity. Almost like he was checking to make sure no one else was there. That no one would be there to witness him care about someone. But with the coast abundantly clear, he turned his attention back to Jack and gently set his head down back onto the ground.

He knows that some serious shit has gone down and it is most definitely his fault. But there's not a lot of willing or available testimonies he had access to at the moment. For now, Jack is out of commission and possibly injured. Which means he takes precedence for the moment.

“Don't make me regret doing this,” he quietly warns.

He shifts to be crouching flat on his feet, and with some squirming to get the hold right, he slips his arms underneath Jack and lifts him into a bridal carry. Any limp extremities immediately trying to pill out of grip as he fully stands back up. And with Jack in tow, found and retrieved, they disappear into a swath of darkness.

Promptly reappearing in the dark corner of a bedroom. Jack’s bedroom. He left home a couple hundred years ago and made a new place for himself in northern Sweden. It was modest living compared to Frost Manor, but luxurious to the eyes of the average soul. It was spacious, clean, cold in its own right and at the moment, only illuminated by the beams on the daylight sun breaking through the windows.

Killian took hold of the home's owner and scuffed his boots across the hardwood to the bedside. Trying to set Jack down on top of the comforter as gently as he can muster. Even though he's already kicked the guy thrice and he didn't even twitch, he feels he should be more careful, considering the circumstances.

After setting him down he goes to the window on the adjacent wall and closes the blinds together. He then goes over to one of the nightstands and lights the oil lamp sitting on its surface, diluting the light that's in the room.

His final place is to be seated on the floor, with his back resting against the right side of the bed frame, closer to the headboard. He crumples to the ground and lets out a constricted sigh. His head craned backwards onto the mattress as he ruminates, his heart beating slowly in his chest.

He finds himself oscillating between being mad and irritated at Jack for doing who knows what, burning with intrigue about what exactly he did do, or being concerned for his well being. The latter option being only relegated to this room. Only in his presence will he ever be concerned about him.

‘What did you do…?’ he thought to himself.

In any case, his partner being unconscious after making a blackout storm was not something he thought he was going to have to deal with. All he knows right now is that all of this will surely come back to bite them both in the ass.

...............................................................

What he also didn't expect to deal with was the fall out coma of “The Day of Darkness” to last roughly another two weeks.

Crystal Springs was in the middle of trying to get itself back in working order. It was a large scale job that required all hands on deck. Of course he tried to further track down Blaise or Winter for an explanation on what exactly happened, but both were thrown here and there in the effort to dissipate the remaining ice. And even when he did manage to corner one of them, they both brushed him off and avoided the topic like the plague.

Blaise ignored him in favor of the thaw job at hand, simply having more important things to do. And his fiery temper sparking in and out of conversation in the lurch of the dreaded events, made him a less than ideal conversation partner.

And he never did talk to Winter directly after the fact. She somewhat joined her husband's efforts in defrosting the springs. But she provided even less conversation than Blaise. Her face lived in a permanent state of forlorn. Of grief. And she just wasn't around as much to try and bother with his questions. Blaise said she was at home taking care of Jacqueline and wasn't seeing any visitors. End of story.

Which means waiting for Jack to come to for his inevitably skewed explanation was now more of an anxious wait. The days went by and waiting for him to wake up was the only thing Killian could do. And usually he was pretty patient, after all you don't get a good scare unless you learn to wait for the right moment.

But this was different.

Like many things in his life, it was different because it was him. He was assured that a sprite sleep would do nothing but help, but he didn't like Jack being out for this long. It doesn't sit right with him. It reminded him of looking at a perfectly preserved corpse, and now in a fun way.

Like on his search, he did go about his job like usual, after all there was plenty of fear fodder to sow in the wake of such a continent wide disaster. Everyone had their own reservations about such an event. But he couldn't seem to fully enjoy the process.

He checked in nearly everyday to see if there was any progress. Just for a few minutes or so, just to see if he was still there. Check to see the healing process on his superficial wounds that he ended up cleaning a while back.

He visited for two more weeks before something changed. It happened when he wasn't even there.

Jack finally woke up in the middle of dusk, just as the sun was starting to set. The first thing he could see through squinted eyes was the color orange poking through the drawn blinds. It saturated the color of the ceiling above him as his vision slowly came into focus. His breathing came back to life in deeper pulls as he fully came to.

At first, he silently questioned why and how he woke up at home when he distinctly remembers falling asleep in the Russian woods. He works his memory backwards, retracing the steps he took to get there and then suddenly remembered the gravity of the situation.

His heart rate spikes just a touch at the memory of how he left. What he did. He slowly sat up on the bed and receded into the mindscape. He went searching and found the things that he was looking for; his tethers to things he chose to abandon.

He checked Jacqueline’s line first and foremost. Glowing a bright and strong light, signaling to him that she survived. And by all accounts he should be far more concerned for these people than he is. But for now, her being alive was good enough for him.

He swung his legs over the edge of the bed, sitting his elbows on his knees and closed his eyes as he walls off the connection tying them together. Nothing getting in or out.

Then he turned his attention to his mother’s line. Less glowy than his sisters, dull and almost limp. But just the thought of having that old thing still around stirred in him the anger he thought he left at the front porch. His next in line, a child’s line he wouldn't think of cutting. But his mothers? He needed no invitation.

He tore the thing in half and watched with the mind's eye as the rest of the glow disappeared and the thread fell to the ground. Something as taboo as that should have warranted far more thought beforehand. Drastic measures like these were not to be taken lightly. But to him? At this moment? Both of these troublesome little things are now out of sight and out of mind. He only hopes and prays that it doesn't take too long for him to forget they were ever there in the first place.

It's better this way.

After the fact he sat there for a moment. Getting himself in order in a room he doesn't remember entering, looking out to a world he left an indefinite amount of time ago. Gathering his thoughts, and pushing away and lingering feelings. An ice cold stare to oblivion.

But the world won't wait for him any longer. He doesn't know how long he’s been out, so he supposes that should be the first order of business; finding out what day it is. He stood up beside the bed and smoothed out any noticeable creases in his clothes. But he couldn't get even two steps toward the door when the night shift entered.

The darkness in the corner of the room deepend and writhed with activity, spitting out Killian in a slight hurry to check on Jack before work. But there was no need.

They both paused for a long moment and stared at the other for very different reasons. Neither one of them fixing to make the first move anytime soon.

Of course, Jack managed to forget one loose end. The only string still attached. The pieces started coming together that he must have been the one to move him during his sleep. And he quickly realizes that this poses a new problem.

He can avoid his family well enough, hell he could even avoid the entity of the springs if he has to. But him? There's no avoiding him. Not for now at any rate. And he definitely can't know the extent of what he did. The events of what went down need to stay secret. Because as much of an obstacle he is at the moment…he can't get rid of him just yet.

But he didn't have any more time to plan for such contingencies, when Killian came crashing into him; trapping him in a deceptively constricting hug. The amount of worry made abundantly clear through his grip and lack of words. He sewed his eyes tightly shut, and held onto him like he was going to fall unconscious all over again.

Jack was caught off guard for a minute, just sitting there letting him continue. Until he realized that he can put off spinning a cover up story for later.

He hugs back with minimal effort. The arms hanging off of his back nearly limp, ready to slip off at a drop of a hat. But even still he relaxed into the hold nevertheless. Not making any moves to avoid it or pull out of it, but just waiting for it to be over. He leaned his head against his shoulder, turning into the crook of his neck.

He smelled like firewood and iron.

“You have a lot of explaining to do,” Killian mumbled.

“I know,” Jack responded dryly, “I know…tell you over dinner?”

“It better be one hell of a dinner. It might be your last meal, so make it count.”

#musings #The Santa Clause #BlackIce #cs au #oops spoilers #this man cares more about the muppet than the muppet cares about him!#its a canon event #i cannot change this

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materialsscienceandengineering · 2 years ago

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Hi!! If it's not too much trouble, could you please create a post on how to publish review articles in journals?? Specifically about deciding the topic and the process of applying to the journal? I and many others would surely appreciate it!

No trouble at all (just takes me a few days to write up a reply)!

I'm going to answer the second part of your question first, applying to journals. (The following information is regardless of whether its a review article or not.) First things first, of course, is deciding the journal you want to submit your article to. This is a factor of a number of things, and is ultimately up to the author(s). Two of the main considerations are the journal’s scope, and its impact factor. Scope is the big thing, because if your article doesn’t fit the journal’s scope, they won’t publish it, no matter how good it is. Every journal should have a scope/description on their website; check that out and see if it fits for you.

Impact factor isn’t mandatory, but it’s an indication of how many people might see your article, which, depending on the relevance of your research, may be significant. (There are other metrics, like the h-index; I’m just using ‘impact factor’ as a catch-all here.) Other factors you can consider are time to publish (how long do they take to review it) and quality or reputation of the journal.

Okay, so, you’ve figured out where you’re publishing. What’s the process look like?

Write the article. An obvious step, but I figured I’d throw it in there for this addendum: it helps to determine which journal you’re going to submit to before you start writing, so your formatting and citation style doesn’t have to be edited later. Journals typically have a guide for authors you can follow.

Create an account on the journal’s website and submit the journal. It’s really as easy as that. You’ll need to have all the mandatory requirements in the guide for authors, which includes the text of the article (obviously), the list of authors, the abstract, the title, etc. Often you’ll need an acknowledgements or conflict of interest statement, or sometimes a letter to the editor describing your article. Some submission systems will want the figures as separate uploads, and so on. It really depends on the journal.

Wait.

Wait some more.

If your article passes the first step - i.e., an editor looks it over and decides it fits the scope of the journal, they’ll pass it on to the reviewers.

More waiting.

Step seven is where we reach a branching path in our flow chart. There are three options here: 1) your article is accepted! Congratulations!; 2) the reviewers have some questions they want clarified, or have suggested some edits for you to make. Talk things over with your fellow authors, make the changes you feel are right (remember: reviewers can be wrong, even if they usually know what they’re talking about), and submit the changes. From here, you’ll usually go to option 1, but sometimes you’ll hit option 3) your article has been rejected.

If your article is rejected, it doesn’t mean you need to go back to the drawing board! Feel free to resubmit it to a different journal and begin the process all over again. You can even make edits before doing so based on the comments from the reviewers who issued the rejection. Just don’t submit to two journals at once!

But back to your question: how do you pick a topic for a review article? That’s one I don’t think I can answer as well, but there are a couple criteria you can consider:

Has a similar review article already been written? Search the literature to see if it’s already been done.

Choose a topic you’re familiar with, something that aligns with your area of research that you feel confident talking about.

Do you have something new to say? I’m not talking about new data or research - it’s a review article - but you want your review article to draw conclusions or offer new insights about the current state of the research, instead of just repeating what everyone else has already done.

This resource goes into more in-depth about review articles.

If anyone has any more information about writing review articles specifically, please share! And if anyone wants me to clarify anything or expand on any points, I’d be happy to do so. Hope that answered your question!

#Materials Science #Science #Publishing #Research #Replies #Anonymous

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autumntouched · 2 years ago

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Hi my love. I’m sorry you’ve been feeling down about the lack of interaction you receive on your writing. I wish I had some helpful advice or something to offer to make you feel better but I all I can really think to give is my own experience, which is honestly pretty similar. It really sucks to see a bunch of people like something that you’ve put a lot of time and effort into but not like it enough to share it with anyone or leave a comment or do anything other than click a little heart button. It’s hard to see people go through liking every single chapter but they dont like it enough to reblog it? Or leave a comment? And it doesn’t even have to be some crazy detailed explanation of your thoughts. A gif of Kermit screaming into the void says more than a like.

And I’ve had the same thoughts, about not writing anymore. Or at least not putting it on tumblr anymore. Not all because of a lack of interaction but I’d be lying if I said that didn’t factor into it. And it might not be the right solution but it definitely would stop the disappointment I feel when my writing doesn’t get interactions.

I tell myself all the time that I’m writing for me and because I like it and it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, and part of that is true, but it helps to hear you say you write with readers in mind. Because that’s a thought I always try to tamp down (maybe just to make myself feel better) but it is fun to write things with other people in mind or what you know someone else will like/identify with/freak out over/etc.. So that doesn’t make me feel better about like vs interaction but it does make me feel better about what I want my writing to be deep down

Anyway this is all to say that I’m sorry you’re frustrated and I wish that I could help and I also really love seeing you on my dash and having you around and selfishly I really hope you don’t decide to leave but if you do I get it. you need to do what’s best for you ❤️

Thank you bb 😭💕

Depending on what you’re looking for AO3, as someone mentioned, can be a better option for sharing your writing. I hope you don’t mean stopping writing altogether!! I won’t stop writing. I would just be done with TGM writing. And I’ll still be here!

The irony is I came to Tumblr to write stuff I didn’t necessarily want to put on AO3 or care whether people saw 😂 😭 I stayed because Hannix Football Rivalry AU Series became a thing 🫠

You’re allowed to write for whatever reason makes you enjoy writing! And it can change based on the day and what you’re writing. Go with what you want deep down. I don’t judge my writing by the number of interactions but the interactions are what’s meaningful for me here. I’d rather have quality over quantity ❤️

#i love your notes #talk to me

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merrybrides · 2 years ago

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How Many People Should I Invite to My Wedding?

When it comes to wedding planning, there are certain tasks that are just more fun than others. Cake tasting? Fun. Choosing a gorgeous venue? So much fun. But figuring out how many people to invite? This can be a struggle. Whether your natural instinct is to invite everyone you’ve ever met, to make it an intimate event, or just something in between, it’s definitely not an easy task. Often, parents and in-laws will have opinions, too, which can complicate the process.

To help you figure out what your final guest count should be, we break down a few things to think about when it comes to creating your list.

Things to Consider

If you need help figuring out where to even begin, consider the following factors when deciding on a number.

Think About Your Budget

The golden rule when it comes to weddings? The more people you invite, the more it will cost you. A sliding scale exists based on the guest count for food, beverage, rentals, linens, flowers, stationery, and transportation, just to name a few. It’s just an extra 20 people, right? Wrong. The trickle effect is real, and it is something to consider when you’re down to those last few people you’re on the fence about!

Consider the Overall Vibe

Think about the various weddings you’ve been to in the past. When there are weddings with over 300 people, doesn’t the vibe feel different from a 50-person wedding? If lots of dreamy details or personal touches are what you love most about weddings, then perhaps scaling the guest count back to accommodate being able to do more would be worth it for the big day.

Don't Assume People Will—or Won't—Attend

Throughout your planning process, you’ve probably heard someone say, “Oh I know they won’t come, so just invite them to be polite.” This kind of attitude can get you into trouble. Especially in the post-pandemic era. Guests are more excited than ever to celebrate love and happiness. If you invite them, they will come…so do not rely on the typical 75 to 80 percent return on RSVP rules, as they may not apply.

The Process

Chances are, you’ve probably never invited this many people to a party before. Here's where to start.

Determine Your Budget

Yes, we already touched on this, but it really is one of the most critical components in figuring out what size your guest list should be. I encourage you to have an honest conversation with the key players about their budget. Establishing your overall budget range will help you determine the price per head you're projecting.

Make Your List

All great writers are told to write first, edit later. Take this same approach when making your guest list. Write down everyone you’d like to be present on your wedding day. It might feel very middle school-esque, but it’s an important step. If there are some people you’re on the fence about while making your list, put them in a separate column. You can decide later in your editing phase if you really want them there or not. When you look at the numbers, it can help make prioritizing easier. For instance, if you know that your projected cost per head is $100, you might reconsider inviting someone who is an acquaintance to save a little money.

Think About Your Venue

No matter where you’re getting married, chances are your venue has a capacity limit. In rare cases when they don’t (like you’re getting hitched on private property), then you have a little more wiggle room. Another capacity factor could be if there is lodging on-property that cannot accommodate your entire group as you had hoped. This could be directly relative to adjusting your list to fit in the box of your dream venue.

Who Gets the Final Say?

This is a tough one. Unfortunately, there’s no correct answer. As far as wedding etiquette goes, if a family member is contributing financially to the wedding in some way, they’re entitled to an opinion. However, if they’re only contributing to a portion of the wedding (like the catering or your attire), then their jurisdiction for decision-making falls in line with those specific elements. But that’s easier said than done right? I do believe being collaborative amongst families, hosts, and between partners is the best way. While the decision of the hosts is very important, I also feel the couple’s vision of their big day should be reflected with equal weight.

At the end of the day, everyone is going to have their opinion (about pretty much everything), but it’s you and your partner who are going to think back and care about who was and wasn’t there. So when the guest list going gets tough, think about who matters most to you and go with your gut.

#wedding guest list #wedding budget #wedding guests #wedding size #wedding planning

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douchebagbrainwaves · 29 days ago

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EVERY FOUNDER SHOULD KNOW ABOUT DESKTOP

Our instincts tell us something so valuable would not be fun for most of them meanness was not a handicap but probably an advantage. Now he's cofounder of a startup that went through really low lows and survived. Prestige is the opinion of anyone beyond your friends. It doesn't matter if they underestimate you because of some magic Shakespeareness or Einsteinness, then it's not our fault if we can't do something as good. It might seem that nothing would be easier than deciding what you like, and let them make the choices. Steve do? The two-job career. And because startup founders work under great pressure, it's critical for startups. It will work not just as a carver needs the resistance of the wood. But I think the solution is to work in the end, wow, that's pretty cool. This is like funding Steve Ballmer in the hope that the programmer he'll hire is Bill Gates—kind of backward, as the events of the Bubble showed.

They still met with them, but they wouldn't happen if he weren't CEO. Now she has a life chosen for her by a high-school kid. But if you don't need investors to start most companies; they can do a deal in 24 hours if they need to see some traction. Of course, the most recent true counterexample is probably 1960. If you do anything well enough, you'll make it prestigious. Imagine how much time you wasted. What's going on here? It doesn't mean, do what you wanted, and that is exactly the kind VCs won't touch. If you just order the results in order of the bid times the number of users really love you than a large number kind of like you. At most colleges, it's not the professors who decide whether you get in, but admissions officers, and they were used in the Roman empire.

Whereas I claim hacking and painting are also related, in the sense that hackers and painters are both makers, and this is reversing the historical polarity of the relationship between meanness and success. They win by noticing that something is taking off a little sooner than everyone else. As well as being smarter, they tend to split the difference on the issues, leaving the election to be decided by the one factor they can't control: charisma. I was a kid, imagine having kids. You might come up with an idea for a startup equals coming up with a million dollar idea. It was not till I was writing this, but that they don't have to answer to anyone. If people can't do it, they'll let you run the company. It doesn't mean, do what you would like to do most this second. Well, math will give you the most promising range of options afterward. Suppose a Y Combinator company starts talking to VCs after demo day, and is successful in raising money from them, so they can't use whatever the startups do as a club to beat you with. I think about why I voted for Clinton over the first George Bush managed to win in 1988, though he would later be vanquished by one of the features of our scheme is that it lets you incorporate all this scaffolding right into your source code. Don't worry if a project doesn't seem to pay.

If you're a hacker, because they're trying to find their niche. They can take their time and copy you instead of buying you. If you do this on too small a scale you'll just guarantee failure. Even Einstein needed people to bounce ideas off. At least, it better not be, because investors regularly do things that would be too low for some who'd turn you down and too high for others because it might make their next round a down round. It seems quite likely that most successful drug lords are mean. Increasingly the games that matter are not zero-sum games. In 2000 we practically got a controlled experiment to prove it: Gore had Clinton's policies, but not if you're working on technology. Whichever route you take, expect a struggle. This is what most successful people I know. Yes, but it's not as bad as the mid seventies. Yes, as you suspect, the college admissions process is largely a charade.

If you're upwind, you decide where you want to define a plus for a new type of number you've made up, you can do. Historically investors thought it was important to have the best hackers. In 1998, advertisers were overpaying enormously for ads on web sites. What would Sama do? But if we make kids work on dull stuff, it will be obstructed by the all too palpably flawed one you're actually writing. It turns out there is, and the handful of people who do great work is to find good books. But don't underestimate them. More likely they'll want you to hold out for 100.

And you know why they're so happy? But if you're trying to advise 57 startups, it turns out to be an adult. The people we funded came from all over the country indeed, the world and afterward they went wherever they could get more funding—which generally meant Silicon Valley. PB made a point in a talk once that I now mention to every startup we fund: that it's better, initially, to make a conscious effort to keep your ideas about what you want in your language may be related to how you express it. Instead of having one or two big releases a year, like desktop software, server-based software you can use any language you want, but not by giving people a better desktop OS. What would it even mean to make theorems a commodity? And in fact they do all look the same. Most investors are looking for the next Larry and Sergey. That generates almost as good. This kind of work is higher because it gives you fewer options for the future. But the fact is, if you admit to yourself that you're discontented, you're a step ahead of most people, you underestimate it, you'll tend to stop searching.

A lot of startup ideas. What these groups of co-founders do together is more complicated than just sitting down and trying to think of syntax and semantics as being completely separate. So being hard to talk to? And they were less work to him to invent it than it would take. Follow it and it will take off. Perhaps it was even simpler than they thought. So just keep playing. So I propose that as a replacement for don't give up on your dreams. I remember personally, but apparently the same pattern played out in 1964 and 1972. Will there be a connection? But once they get started, interest takes over, and discipline is no longer necessary.

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m0ra11 · 7 months ago

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Hey there! So, I know we’ve been talking a lot about our upcoming beach trip, and I’ve been obsessing over what to pack. I want to travel light but still be prepared for anything. The one thing I’ve decided is absolutely essential is a sarong. I can’t stop raving about it because it’s seriously the perfect beach accessory. Let me tell you all the reasons why.

First off, a sarong is so versatile. It’s basically just a large piece of fabric, usually rectangular, that you can tie and wear in countless ways. That’s what makes it so brilliant. When we get to the beach, you can use it as a cover-up. You know how it is, you want to enjoy the sun but also need a break from it. A sarong can easily transform into a skirt or a dress, so you can quickly throw it on when you want to walk around or grab a bite to eat without feeling too exposed. And it always looks stylish! There are so many ways to tie it that you can have a different look every day if you want.

But it’s not just about wearing it. Picture this: we find the perfect spot on the sand, and it’s time to settle down. Spread out your sarong, and voilà! Instant beach blanket. The fabric is usually lightweight but large enough to give you plenty of space to lie down and relax. Plus, it’s easy to shake off the sand when we’re ready to pack up. No more struggling with bulky beach towels that seem to collect sand like they’re magnetized.

Another fantastic use for a sarong is as a sunshade. You know how sometimes the sun can get a bit too intense? If we have a couple of sticks or even some driftwood, we can tie the corners of the sarong to them and create a makeshift sunshade. It’s a simple and quick way to get some shade without needing to lug around a heavy umbrella. And if we get too warm and want a bit of a breeze, the lightweight fabric will let the air through while still providing some protection from the sun.

Oh, and speaking of protection, a sarong can be a lifesaver if you’re worried about sunburn. Imagine you’ve been in the water, having a blast, but you start to feel your shoulders getting a bit too much sun. Just wrap your sarong around your shoulders, and you’ve got an instant shield. It’s great for those of us who might forget to reapply sunscreen as often as we should.

You know what else is great? A sarong can even be a towel in a pinch. I know it sounds odd, but hear me out. The fabric is thin, so it won’t be as absorbent as a regular towel, but it’s perfect for a quick dry-off after a swim. Plus, it dries super fast in the sun, so you won’t have to deal with a soggy, heavy towel for the rest of the day. And because it’s so lightweight, it doesn’t take up much space in your bag. You can easily carry a couple of them without feeling weighed down.

And let’s not forget the style factor. Sarongs come in so many beautiful colors and patterns. Whether you like bright, bold prints or something more subdued, there’s a sarong out there for you. They add a touch of flair to your beach outfit without trying too hard. Plus, they can be a great way to express your personal style. I always feel a bit more put together when I’m wearing mine, even if it’s just tied around my waist as a skirt.

But it’s not just about looking good. A sarong can be a handy tool for carrying things, too. Imagine we’re strolling down the beach, and you find some beautiful shells or other little treasures. You can bundle them up in your sarong and carry them easily without worrying about losing them. It’s also great for carrying snacks, sunscreen, or anything else you might need quick access to without digging through your bag.

Oh, and if we decide to do a bit of exploring away from the beach, a sarong is perfect for that, too. Whether we’re hiking to a nearby lookout point or wandering through a local market, it’s nice to have something that can transition from beachwear to casual attire without any fuss. You can tie it as a dress or drape it over your shoulders like a shawl. It’s great for those moments when you need to cover up a bit more but still want to stay cool and comfortable.

Now, I know this might sound a bit silly, but a sarong can even double as an impromptu picnic blanket or tablecloth. If we decide to have a little snack or lunch on the beach, it’s perfect for spreading out and keeping our food out of the sand. And because it’s so easy to clean, you don’t have to worry about stains or spills. Just give it a quick shake or wash, and it’s good as new.

Another thing I love about sarongs is that they’re so easy to pack. They take up hardly any space in your suitcase or beach bag, and because they’re so lightweight, you can bring a few different ones without feeling overloaded. This means you can have options for different days or activities, and they’re also easy to throw into your bag if you’re heading out for a day trip or a longer vacation.

And you know what’s the best part? They’re super affordable. You don’t have to spend a lot of money to get a great sarong. Of course, there are some high-end options out there, but you can also find beautiful, high-quality sarongs at very reasonable prices. This makes them an excellent investment because you get so much use out of them for such a small cost.

I almost forgot to mention one of the best things – sarongs make fantastic gifts. If you’re ever stuck on what to get someone for a birthday or special occasion, a sarong is a thoughtful and practical choice. It’s one of those items that people might not think to buy for themselves but will end up loving and using all the time.

So, yeah, I’m pretty obsessed with my sarong and think it’s the ultimate beach essential. It’s stylish, versatile, practical, and just so easy to use. Once you start using one, you’ll wonder how you ever managed without it. Trust me, it’ll become your new favorite thing, too. Plus, we can have fun experimenting with all the different ways to wear and use them on our trip. It’s going to be awesome!

I can’t wait for our beach adventure and to see you rock your sarong. We’re going to have the best time ever, soaking up the sun, exploring, and just relaxing. And with our trusty sarongs in tow, we’ll be ready for anything. So, what do you think? Ready to join the sarong fan club with me?

#sarongs #sarong #sarong wrap #beachlife #summer vibes #summer vibin'#summer fashion #summer outfits

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garybrower · 2 years ago

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Best Money Earning App That You Can Download

If you're looking to make some extra cash using your phone during your spare time, consider using a money-making app. A money-making app is an app or browser extension that can help you earn extra cash, whether from selling goods and services, getting cash back, or a combination of the two.

The best money-making apps are free to download, offer a variety of ways to earn money, are compatible with iOS and Android devices, and send payments quickly.

What is the best app to make money?

The answer is not one, as choosing the best app to make money can depend on many factors. Consider those before choosing your best app to make money.

How much the app is giving

Multiple apps available in the market claim to be a money making apps, but most don't even qualify for giving you an earning of a few dollars in a month. While considering making money from apps, you should keep in mind most apps won't get you rich or able to buy a cup of coffee in a day. Look for the percentages they will be paying and how easy and authentic their money would be too dependent.

Pay off

You need to choose apps based on how much you want to earn. For example, if you want to make hundreds or thousands of dollars per month, it's impossible to do that by filling out surveys. You should use apps like Uber, Upwork, Fiverr, and TaskRabbit. These apps are better opportunities for earning good money than others and will pay off you more.

Affirmation

Another factor to consider is to decide how much work you are willing to devote to a task or commit to it. Do you want to use your smartphone only to do quick tasks while lounging on the couch or enjoying a cup of coffee? Or do you prefer to go shopping, travel around, interact with customers, and perform physical labor? The payment quantity is typically directly correlated with the amount of work required done. For example, on TaskRabbit, moving furniture pays more than completing a two-minute survey.

Payment method

Some apps allow you to cash out payments. Most of the time, a PayPal account is used to facilitate cashouts. On the other hand, few apps require you to mail a check. Other apps reward you with points, discounts, and gift cards instead of cash.

So, a small collection of Starbucks points or Amazon gift cards won't be enough to support you or let you buy lunch for yourself. However, if you're only performing a few minor tasks, then it is acceptable because you are not putting your all-time into it. Redeem limits apply to several money-making applications. You might not always be able to withdraw money. So before you begin, carefully read the payment schedule and the agreements.

Initial funding

There are many free apps, but some apps demand investment or entry fees, while others are free to join. For example, Acorns app membership costs up to per month. Or Fiverr take 20% of your sales but gives you a better opportunity to showcase your skills to a worldwide audience. These costs are generally relatively low, as are the initial investments. The free apps are best to use if you don't want to spend any money.

App authority

Before you download any mobile apps that pay and can earn you money, do your research. Verify that the app has a lot of favorable reviews. To find out what dissatisfied customers are saying, read the bad reviews. Typically, all these apps require for registration is an email address. Applications that request sensitive information may be fraudulent. Numerous apps make the assurance that they won't sell your data. Use an app with a good reputation if privacy is crucial to you.

Best App to Make Money

I would like to suggest Fiewin earn money app. Fiewin is the best app for earning right now. You can earn money by playing simple games like color prediction, minesweeper, Fiewin APK, etc.

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dragonsareourfuture · 3 years ago

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Ways the Death Note Cast Show They Trust You

I lost some inspiration towards the middle there, I’m sorry!!

- he will always have Watari make extra servings of food just for you. It’s a bit startling at first. So suddenly there’s just food in front of you that you think is for L, but when you push it towards him, he pushes it right back to you.

“You don’t want it?” He’d ask, leaving you confused until you finally put the pieces together.

“Oh, I…I guess I didn’t realize it was for me. My bad.” You begin eating. “Thank you.”

L simply hums and continues with whatever he was just up to.

- You know that thing cats do where they’re sitting perfectly still, eyes closed, guard slightly down, but still not quite asleep? I can picture L doing something like this during any moment of downtime he gets. Just sitting, scrunched up in his chair or wherever he happens to be, eyes closed but the cogs in his brain are still turning. You notice him doing this when it is only you and him in the room, simply thinking it’s because of the moment of rare solitude. Little do you know, it’s because he trusts that you won’t hurt him or let anything bad happen to him.

- L is a person who prefers to be in charge of his own life. He likes knowing what’s going on around him at all times and when things are out of his hands he can’t help but feel uncomfortable. However, with a person he’s developed a close relationship with and knows he can trust with everything he has, L will feel more comfortable leaving decisions up to them. You’ll have to start small though, like being the one to plan a surprise date. He might feel a bit uncomfy at the beginning, shifting around and possibly even insisting he sit so that he can see the exits clearly, but he eases into it eventually. Soon you both find yourselves joking around in the odd way that you do and gorging on cake and ice cream.

Mello

- being vulnerable is something Mello isn’t too keen on. He already feels vulnerable most of the time and would kick himself if he let that show through his actions. If Mello truly trusts you, he will feel as though he can be vulnerable around you without any judgement on your end. Small acts that show vulnerability such as asking you to help him with something he can’t quite handle on his own — even if it’s something as simple as not being able to reach something off a shelf or being unsure about how to fix something. Eventually, he’ll work his way up to the bigger stuff like being physically wounded in front of you or having a mental block.

- Sharing his clothes with you or letting you pick his outfit for him. Now, it sounds like he’s just being a little diva and that’s only partially true. But his clothes are important to him, they’re a factor that sets him aside from his plain-dressing rival and in his eyes they make him more interesting than him, visually at least. He’s happy to dress you up, and it is true that he has to have a close relationship with you to want to do so, but you should be especially proud if he lets you alter his appearance in any way.

- He likes to believe that he’s had his goals set out from the beginning. Surpass Near, become the next L, and go on from there. What he pushes to the back of his brain are the moments he’s been studying and he’s asked himself ‘What if I went down a different path?’. He quickly pushes these thoughts away, but they keep coming back. What would life be like if this wasn’t an option for him? What if he were a writer? What if he lived in the city with people he loves and went to the movies every Friday? Unwillingly, he has a whole list of possibilities. If he truly trusts you, he’ll share every single one with you. Whether it’s dropping hints or confessing them one by one late at night, he can’t help but feel that they’re safe with you.

Misa

- it seems a bit surface level, but it’s true — Misa will talk down on Light in front of you if she trusts you. But it’s not straight away. She had developed a lot of courage to actually break up with him, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t still doubt her decision to do so. It’s only when she finds out from you how loved ones are supposed to treat each other — with kindness and respect — that she feels her decision to ditch Light was the entirely right one. Slowly, she’ll start to admit to you all the things she hated about Light, starting with some of his mannerisms and building up to something like how he forced her to leave the entertainment business.

- Misa is…dramatic. She likes to go above and beyond for someone she’s infatuated with and make sure they’re the happiest they can be. If she trusts you enough to develop this kind of infatuation and, with some development, less of an obsession and more of a strong, bonding love, you will be doted on to the point where it’s almost ridiculous. You could be at home during one of her work days and you’ll get a delivery of lunch from your favorite takeout place because Misa was ‘thinking of you <3’, as she explains when you text her asking why food randomly showed up at your place. It’s rather sweet.

- Misa’s a pretty talkative person in general, that’s a well known fact. She’ll talk about clothes, a cute birdie she saw on her way home, really anything that comes to mind. But, she’ll do that with about anyone who’ll listen. It’s gradual, so it’s hard to notice, but if Misa grows to trust you she’ll start talking about some of the more serious things that have been on her mind for a while, those things that she thought would scare off anyone she liked because of how personal they are to her. Her family before they died, for example. It’s something that Misa thinks about. So much. But she doesn’t really talk about it. She wants to forget, put the past behind her but because she’s never talked about it with anyone it’s hard to do that. She’ll talk about her family to you, the little things her sister used to do and some things her parents did that she misses.

Matsuda

- Matsuda often begins to idolize those who he thinks are trustworthy and have a good heart. He starts to tell you how much he loves when you do x and that he wishes he could perform as well as you in that area. In a sense, he trusts you with his vulnerability, letting you know that he thinks of himself as less than satisfactory and how he wishes he could do better, only he channels it by pointing out good things about you. If…that makes sense.

- This sounds dire, but he’ll risk his life for the people he completely, without a doubt trusts. He was willing to do so with Chief Yagami, someone he saw as a father figure, and he would certainly be willing to do so with you, someone who he feels he has a deep emotional connection to. Whether you’re in a situation where he would need to or he’s just saying that he would, he means it.

- Matsuda trusts you to not make fun of him when he overshares or talks too much or anything his coworkers brush him off for. He feels that he can talk about things he finds funny and talk about his life without worrying about what you think of him when he does.

Matt

- he would drop everything to help you. Whether that’s dropping his game to help you kill a bug or leaving his duties behind to help you out of a life or death situation. Whichever scenario you happen to find yourself in he’s there no matter what.

- He’ll invite you into his personal life. I know this is kind of a given but Matt had the chance to become the next L. He had the chance to become something “great” and he said “ummm rather not” to it because it wasn’t something he wanted. If he shares this information with you, he trusts you not to leave him for something better when you discover the status he could have had and refused. He trusts you to appreciate him because of him and not the intelligence everyone but him cherishes.

- He leaves you alone around important technology and software he’s hacked. Unfortunately for him, betrayal comes with the business he’s got himself into and, if Matt really trusts you on both a professional and emotional level, he won’t have a problem worrying about whether or not you’ll take advantage of his coffee break to gather information for some other organization or something. He will literally just go “mkay babe I gotta go fuel up on caffeine real quick, you’re good watching the hacked government database right? Cool cya.”

Near

- Near trusts you to take him to public places. Sounds simple, yeah. But Near has never liked crowds, or even just too many strangers in a wide open place. It’s strange to everyone observing how one day he decides he needs a new toy, his old one having broken due to old age, and asks you to take him to the toy store. He’s questioned, people wondering why he wouldn’t rather you just go alone but Near insists. Apparently the toy that broke is special addition and he wants to make sure you get the right one. He stays close to you the whole way, not really saying much, but he’s there and that’s a big step for him.

- He helps you out with puzzles. Basically cheats for you. When he’s eyeing one specific empty slot, coughing lightly to get your attention, just know that he’s not helping you because he thinks you need it. Quite the opposite actually. With anyone else, he believes that they should be able to solve it on their own. He thinks that if they can’t, then that’s their fault. But with you…it’s as if he trusts that you’re intelligent enough without the puzzle being an indicator of that intelligence, so much so that he thinks the puzzle itself is obsolete when it comes to you. He doesn’t need a puzzle to know how smart you are.

- He’ll eat the foods you make him. Near’s picky eater-ness is above that of a child who only eats chicken tenders and pizza. He doesn’t eat that many people’s food because he knows it’s probably not he way he likes it. But with you, he trusts that you respect his eating habits and know him well enough to get it right the first time. Though he does check the food out for a bit, he’ll eat it. Sometimes all of it. Fuckin astonishing to Rester who had attempted many times to heat up microwave dinners for the guy.

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aoitrinity · 4 years ago

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Why Do I Have to Feel Like a Fucking Conspiracy Theorist -- OR -- How I Find a Semblance of Peace on Sunday Night

I’m also going to start this out with a GIANT DISCLAIMER.

I am about to theorize about what may have happened to the SPN finale. I have absolutely no insider knowledge. I am merely speculating here based on the panels and a bunch of Twitter and Tumblr posts that I have been reading over the last few days. If you are not in a good place to read such things, TURN BACK PLEASE. Go take care of yourself and your mental health. You and your feelings are valid and deserve to be handled gently right now.

Additionally, if you are here to give me shit for being unhappy with the ending, please walk away as well. I am here to reach out and share my feelings with people who might be struggling to make sense of something that upset some of us in very deep-seated ways. I am not here to bother you or critique you or tell you that you’re lesser because you liked the ending. If you felt it was good, then go enjoy it.

Long-ass post beneath the cut, everyone.

Alrighty folks...I debated whether or not to do this because I have been spiraling down the hell that is the SPN finale since Thursday. The travesty of what happened to our show--to this beloved show that seemed to have been so perfectly and precisely written for at least four years that it had basically already paved its own tarmac on which to land its plane and we all thought we knew exactly what we were going to get. And then we didn’t. We had a nigh Cas-less and entirely Eileen-less ending. We had no goodbye between Cas and Jack. We had Dean dying young after finally finding his freedom, only to ascend to heaven with no one but Bobby. We had the weird, weird, weird incest-y death scene. We had the bridge crane shot thing because...sure. You do you, Robert Singer.

It was so terrible, so truly awful, and I couldn’t seem to square any of it with anything we had known going in. I tossed and turned and cried and didn’t eat or sleep all weekend. I spent hours just reloading tumblr and twitter, going to the Misha panel, reading and reading and listening and trying to figure out what the fucking hell is going on because I needed to know exactly where to direct my anger. And after a fuckton of talking with @winchester-reload, I think we have at least a very plausible theory about what happened here--I’m laying it out below as much for my own peace of mind as anything else, because otherwise all of these thoughts are going to continue to spin around in my head for weeks and I won’t be able to do jack shit.

Now to start off, unfortunately I do think Dean was slated to die from the beginning of this season. I don’t know WHY they thought that was the best way to go, and I wish they had listened to Jensen on this one. Part of me wonders if it was an order from on high based on the discussion between Becky and Chuck earlier this season--the writers knew it wasn’t a great choice, but they were trying to signal to us that we should feel free to write our own endings to the story because they’d be better (I can wax poetic on the signs of why many of the writers probably wanted Dean to live, but that’s another post). I’m not defending that choice by any means, just laying it out there that I think they didn’t necessarily all want to kill Dean like they did.

However, what I THINK I can explain now is what happened with Misha and why we got so jerked around with Cas’s story. Consider what we know (I can’t immediately source all of it, but I did my best):

At the end of episode 15x19, Lucifer has been returned to the Empty after being killed AGAIN. He talks with Cas. Maybe harasses him a bit about Dean, idk. But then...Jack shows up. New God Jack. And he picks up Cas and pulls him out of the Empty, leaving Lucifer behind, because seriously. Fuck that guy (also leaving behind his abusive father is character growth for Jack, so yay for that).

-Misha was contracted to film 15 episodes this season. He was only in 14.

-Misha told Michael Sheen he had to go back to film 1.5 episodes after the shutdown in March. (Starts at 6:13)

-Misha was in Vancouver during filming of the finale.

-Mark P said at Darklight Con that the last scene he filmed was with Alex and Misha (and Mark P was only in episode 19).

-Misha implied that he was present for various filming moments, including Dean’s death (start at 35:15), and said that it felt like a “mini-reunion.”

-Various sources have mentioned that Jimmy Novak was supposed to be in the finale.

-After episode 18, Stands tweeted a fan who was angered and hurt by Cas's death that they could talk about the “bury the gays” issue after the finale aired.

-In episode 19 we know there were takes of the parking lot scene where the only thing fans observing could hear was Dean yelling “CAS” at Chuck (fuck I can’t find this one right now, but it’s definitely out there)

-Also in episode 19, we had a very strange, awkward montage at the end of the episode.

-In episode 20, we know there were a FUCKTON of missing scenes

-We also had no opening montage, but three other separate montages.

-Carry on My Wayward Son was played TWICE, back-to-back at the end of the episode.

-Episode 20 was shorter than normal and had surprisingly little dialogue. The pacing was VERY strange.

-The cast and crew has been almost completely silent about the finale since it came out. When they have spoken, it has been with an awkward excuse of “Uh...COVID?”

-Samantha Ferris has specifically noted that, despite the Harvelle’s being back in play and a big heaven reunion having been planned pre-COVID, neither she nor Chad Lindberg received any such invitation to return.

-Cas and Dean POP Funko figures were pictured together in a replica of Harvelle’s in 15x04.

NOW with all of this in mind (and I’m probably missing some stuff too because there is so much--feel free to add on to that list), please bear with me because here is what I think we were SUPPOSED to get POST-COVID (after it was determined that the reunion couldn’t happen because of the virus):

In episode 20, we start with our NORMAL OPENING MONTAGE, like always. It traces everything that happened during the season. We are reminded of Cas. The confession. Rowena. Eileen. Jack. Billie, God, the Empty, all of it.

Things then follow along in the episode where they did up until Dean dies and wakes up in heaven. After his conversation with Bobby, he drives off to find Cas (who, in the script, was listed as “Jimmy Novak” in order to protect against script leaks--who wouldn’t want to do their best to avoid spoilers about the finale with the wrapping of a fifteen-year show?). He does indeed find Cas. We get Dean’s end of the confession. Hell, maybe we even get a kiss. And then Dean sets up his new heaven home in the recreated Harvelle’s. Maybe Cas even fucking moves in.

Years pass. We get Sam having his life on Earth (still can’t explain why they cut Eileen and couldn’t even have Sam signing vaguely to the blurry brunette in the background; if anyone wants to take that on, go for it). Eventually, Cas tells Dean that it’s almost Sam’s time. Dean takes Baby and goes to meet Sam at the bridge. The cover of Carry on My Wayward Son plays during this much shorter sequence. End of episode.

But that’s not what we got. Instead, much of what I just wrote about was excised from the episode. The remnants were stitched together after shooting had been wrapped. Filler was added in the form of montages and long, unnecessary extra shots to get the episode to something approaching a reasonable length.

But why? Why would they spend all that time and money and quarantining on Misha, only to almost completely cut him out of the finale? I struggled with why the fuck the CW would want this mammoth show to go down as the greatest queerbait in TV history when they had the chance to do something truly beautiful and monumental with it? It couldn’t just be sheer homophobia, right? Well, I think that factored into it, my friends, but here is where my head is at right now.

It was about cold, hard cash.

Now I could be wrong, but this is what I’m thinking at the moment: Supernatural is going off of the air. Supernatural, the CW’s cash cow for fifteen years. Sure there is still money to be made on blu-rays and merchandise and cons...but they need people watching their shows. They need that sweet advertising revenue. And you know what show they have about to premiere? A show that could, potentially, bring with it a chunk of that SPN revenue?

Walker.

And if any of you know anything about the original Walker Texas Ranger, you know that the show was predominantly a show about a very heterosexual white man being very excessively heterosexual. And for SOME REASON over the years, many of the execs at the CW still seem to think that this show, Supernatural, is really attractive to a lot of middle-American white men...whom they desperately want to watch this new show with this guy from Supernatural that they already know.

Now here’s where COVID fucked us. I think Destiel was greenlit by TPTB, at least in SOME form, before COVID. But then the pandemic happened, and they panicked. They got the cut of the last two episodes and watched them in their original, probably queer form. And then, the execs at CW looked at the economy. They looked at their cash cow, about to make its journey to the great beyond. And they looked at this new little calf Walker that they were so desperately worried about. And they made a choice.

They decided that it would be too risky to take the step with Destiel. They were worried about frightening off their ever-so-valuable hetero male demographic with the possibility that a traditionally masculine man in his 40s could be in love with another man in an overt way. It was homophobia mixed with greed, spun up by fear for their revenues because of COVID.

So they called in Singer, possibly Dabb, although I wouldn’t be surprised if they went straight to Singer. They told them that Destiel had to go: executive orders. And the only way to make it go in a way that removed any trace of what had been there was to rewrite what happened to Cas and cut him out from the last two episodes entirely. It was too late to reshoot anything. They had to just cut and stitch and fill with bullshit montages.

They removed the scene at the end of 19, probably because Cas and Lucifer discussed Dean. All that was left of Misha there was his voice on that fake phone call. They may have cut other things too, but I would bet my life that they cut a scene from the end of the episode and replaced it with that very strange montage. Then they moved onto 20. They cut out every scene with Cas. And left in only two platonic mentions of him, neither made by Dean. They tried to imply that Cas might show up in Dean’s heaven at some point, but that was as far as the editors could go in the time they had. They filled in with montages, awkwardly long shots, anything they could do to fill all of those missing scenes.

And they even had to take the opening montage, because literally everything in it pointed to Cas being there at the end of it all. They wouldn’t be able to leave out his scenes, they were too critical to the season. They couldn’t cut his confession without raising eyebrows. So they cut the whole thing and moved “Carry On My Wayward Son” to one of the newly-added driving montages at the end. Which is why we awkwardly had both songs play back-to-back--again, such a strange choice unless they were out of options and couldn’t exactly buy rights to a new track or compose anything else.

And so we were left with the shadow of the finale that we deserved, that Cas and Dean deserved. We were left without resolution or happiness or words. Bobo told us the most important thing about happiness is just “saying it” and our characters were silenced without anyone ever knowing the truth.

I think the writers might have known and been given the new party line that “Misha never filmed, he couldn’t, sorry, it was COVID, no one’s fault!” But I don’t think most of the cast even knew it had happened until they watched the finale on Thursday with us (though they might have been confused why the bit from 15x19 was sliced, they could reasonably have assumed it was a time thing and also BL episodes don’t make sense anyway). Why do I say that?

Well, first of all, Misha started sending out a bunch of excited texts to fans with some old BTS pictures about an hour before the show started airing on EST. He also wanted his children to see the episode, his YOUNG children. Why would he show them such a traumatic episode if their Dad wasn’t in it? What if it was because he wanted them to witness what was going to be a monumental moment in queer television history that their DAD got to be a part of? And then that was all dashed.

Which is why I think the cast and crew went almost completely radio silent the next day. I don’t think they knew. And based on how they have been acting on social media since then, I think many of them are absolutely furious, but they have been silenced because of NDAs, because they want to find work again in a cutthroat industry, because they don’t want to bring down the hellfire of Warner Brothers Entertainment upon themselves. So the most we have gotten is a little acknowledgement from the MERCHANDISING COMPANY trying to validate our pain (god bless Shirts, she is a LIFESAVER) and a response to my salty tweet about keeping good stuff in the closet from Adam Williams (the VFX coordinator) that seemed to acknowledge the validity of my complaint.

Then there was a scramble behind the scenes, I would bet my life. Talking points were fed to the boys who had panels today, to CE, to all the cast and crew:

Toe the party line. Misha never filmed. This was always about COVID. Do not mention Destiel. Do not mention Dean’s feelings for Cas. Do not promote the Castiel Project or anything that validates the idea that this was anything less than a superb ending.

And that is why we have heard so little from the cast on this front, and what we have heard has been muddled and contradictory. That is why the writers are saying nothing. That is why we have been left adrift.

Now before I close this out, I do want to say that I really, genuinely do not think this was on the writers at all. I feel like they tried to give us the best ending that they could, in a writers room that we know is notorious for splitting along party lines about the overall story (BL and Singer, who have always been about the brothers and their man-pain vs. Dabb and the rest who always seemed to want more for them and for Cas). I think they did everything in their power to at least end with Dean and Cas happy together. If they could give us nothing else, they wanted to give us that. And then the network took it from them. From us. From everyone.

For the sake of fucking money.

And the WORST PART OF IT ALL, for me, is that in the wake of this disaster, the fans have been left to try and figure out what happened. We have had to wade through a mire of conflicting information in the midst of all of our collective anger and grief over this garbage ending of a show many of us have loved and even relied on for YEARS, all the while wondering if we’re just fucking crazy, if we have all fallen collectively into the hole of conspiracy theories. That hurts ESPECIALLY badly because we have taken so many hits over the years from other groups on social media saying we were crazy for seeing things that weren’t there (especially Destiel), for writing meta and analyzing tropes and believing the evidence of our eyes and ears. The network has made us relive that entire nightmare WHILE processing our grief for a show we wanted so badly to celebrate and which instead we now have to mourn.

So again guys, I cannot prove that this is exactly what happened at all; this is simply my idea of what may have happened. But right now, it’s the most sense I can make from this mess, and to be honest, the act of typing it out has helped me enormously in my processing of it all. I feel like I can see more clearly, like I know where to target my outrage and where to direct empathy. I feel like just fucking maybe, I might be able to do my job tomorrow without bursting into tears at random moments.

I really hope that this post has helped some of you to, in some small way, process this too. We get through this the way that Misha told us at his panel this morning, the way the writers have told us to do all season long...we throw out the story God gave us and we make it better. We write our characters the happy endings they deserve.

We save them.

One last thing--if you have not already, please consider channeling your rage into a donation to one of the five causes our fandom has put together to pay tribute to our beloved show and to mourn the ending it should have had:

-The Castiel Project

-Dean Winchester is Love

-Sam Winchester Project

-The National Association of the Deaf

-The Jack Kline Project

#supernatural season 15 #spn finale #speculation #destiel #destielgate #the ending was not the ending #fuck the cw #trust the story #we were robbed

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27dragons · 3 years ago

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What’s Been Going on with Dragons

Longtime followers may have noticed I’ve been a lot less active over the last year, and even less active than that in the last 4-6 months. You may even have wondered WTF, dragons?

Well… This TF:

Obviously, the pandemic heaped stress on literally everyone; that’s probably got to go first on the list, because it compounded and multiplied the effect of every single other thing on the list.

Tisfan’s stroke (Sept ’20) deprived me of my writing partner and most avid reader, which was a hell of a blow.

I got a promotion at work (Apr ’21) that involved quite a bit more responsibility and stress, and then it took eight months to backfill my previous position, which meant I was doing two full-time jobs.

Thing1 started college (Aug ’21) and more or less immediately hated it, which is obviously worse for them than me, but is still pretty stressful as a parent who wants to make sure their kids get everything they need to be successful and happy adults.

Thing1 then landed in the hospital for a few days (Sept ’21); I spent the whole thing living in the hospital visitor’s chair.

I was more or less guilted into accepting a “temporary” promotion at work (Nov ’21) to be the project manager for my entire project — a project which is foundering due to factors I won’t discuss in a public forum but which are entirely outside of my control. This promotion did NOT come with a pay increase, because of its temporary nature. The only saving grace was that they finally backfilled my original position, but that meant I had to start training the new person. For those counting along at home, that’s two high-responsibility, full-time positions, plus training a third.

Tisfan’s death (Dec ’21) rocked me HARD, and I spent most of the next month laser focused on doing everything I could to help and support her family while trying to deal with my own grief.

The government office for which I’m a contractor put our contract up for bid (Dec ’21). The new contract was so bad that my company decided not to bid on it. Despite putting out the bid, the government hadn’t actually made a decision about whether to go with this new contract or renew our current contract.

An assortment of minor-but-annoying medical issues cropped up (Jan-Feb ’22). One of those (just as an indicator of my stress levels) is a stomach ulcer.

One of my two database admins, due to the uncertainty of our contract, left the company (Feb ’22), leaving me with only one DBA. This is, as you might imagine, not ideal.

My mom, while on vacation in Mexico with my dad, wound up in the hospital, in ICU (mid-March). Not only was the family extremely worried about her, we also had some additional moderate worry about my dad and various logistics (like the hospital demanding payment up front for over $50,000, and my dad’s hotel reservation running out, and trying to figure out how to get my mom back to the U.S. once she was stable enough to move.)

My remaining DBA left (mid-March) for a trip out of the country for 3 weeks, which means they have only limited access to our databases.

The government decided (mid-March) to go with the new contract and not renew our current contract; everyone currently on the contract (including me) now has to decide whether to leave our company and go to work for the company who won the new contract (which, if you recall, was so bad our company didn’t want it), or be laid off and look for new jobs.

Just as she was stabilizing, my mom suffered a heart attack and died (late March). I’ve spent most of the last 10 days or so coping with that grief and all the logistics of getting my dad and her remains back into the U.S. and then getting started on all the paperwork. Death involves a lot of paperwork. When that death happens in another country, the amount of paperwork is even more ridiculous.

So, uh, yeah. My stress levels are through the roof right now, and every time I try to write something, I look at the doc, read the last few paragraphs, and then close it again. I just can’t.

That said, my work situation is at least going to be resolving in a couple of weeks. I am not staying on with the slowly-dying project, but my company has promised to shift me into one of their other, more successful projects, so I won’t be unemployed. Two more weeks, and then I will hopefully be able to draw a deep breath again.

And I miss writing. So I’ve applied to the Winteriron ‘zine. It’s time to get back on the horse. Wish me luck! Story ideas welcome! 😅

#my boring life #(yes i am fully aware of the irony of that tag)#(i would really like my life to be a little more boring now please)#pique queue

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jungshookz · 4 years ago

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y/n is smitten with jungkook and it’s really, truly driving her crazy

➺ pairing; jeon jungkook x reader

➺ genre; university!au!! hello newbie bff!kook!! woohoo this is part one of a brand new mini-series!! honk honk humour!! boo hoo angst!! jungkook and y/n are bestie goals!! y/n feeds jungkook at one point which is pretty cute too

➺ wordcount; 5.3k

➺ summary; y/n finally decides to tell jungkook about her feelings for him and she doesn’t know if she’s ever been this nervous about anything before.

➺ what to expect; “when you like someone... do you think that you should tell them that you like them?”

»»————-　🖤　————-««

“i have special feelings for you.”

your face screws up in disgust as soon as the sentence comes out of your mouth and you shudder before shaking your head

‘special feelings’?!

you’re definitely scratching that one off the list

special feelings

way to sound like a creep

“c’mon, y/n,” you grumble, pushing yourself up from the sink before reaching up to knock against your forehead, “think, think, think...”

you’ve been in the washroom for the last half an hour just talking to yourself in the mirror and it’s safe to say that it hasn’t been a very productive half an hour because you’ve basically been spitting the same sentence out in increasingly cringeworthy ways

“...i think i like you?”

see, now why did you word that one like a question?

do you think you like him or do you actually like him??

where’s the confidence??

where’s the oomph factor?!

“no, wait, i mean-” you wince and quickly shake your head, “what i meant to say was that i think that i know that i like y- no, no, listen to me, i actually like you-”

well, if there’s one thing that can be said for sure, it’s that this is going absolutely nowhere

the past two months of your life has been consumed with you debating with yourself in your head about whether or not you should tell jungkook that you like him or if you should just bottle it up and keep your feelings shoved deep, deep inside your soul for the rest of your life and even the entirety of your afterlife

it was approximately a week ago that you finally decided it would be best to just put your big girl pants on and tell jungkook about your feelings for him because you know yourself and you feel like you might really go crazy if you don’t do anything about it

of course, you wouldn’t have come to that decision if it wasn’t for something he’d said during a library study session

"should you tell someone that you like them?”

“-!” you immediately choke on your water and quickly twist the cap back on the bottle before patting your chest lightly and looking up towards jungkook, “what?”

“when you like someone... do you think that you should tell them that you like them?” he asks, continuing to type away at his laptop as if he didn’t just ask you what seems to be a pretty loaded question, “or should you just keep it to yourself? to not accidentally make things weird, you know?”

why would he suddenly bring something like this up?

“i, um...” you clear your throat before offering him a halfhearted shrug, “well, i- i mean, if you- i think that if you have serious feelings for a person- like, if you know that it isn’t just a silly little crush-” you pause for a second to collect your thoughts so you can string them into a coherent sentence before going on, “okay, let me put it this way: if you know that your feelings for this person are genuine and that you really do want to pursue a romantic relationship with them, then, yeah. yeah, i think you should tell the person that you like them. because if you don’t, you’ll live the rest of your life wondering what would’ve happened if you did tell them, you know? if you do tell them about your feelings, then you don’t have to wonder ‘what if’ for the rest of your life.”

“huh.” jungkook looks up at you from his laptop before giving you a nod and a hum, “i guess you’re right... yeah, that makes sense. but what would you do if they didn’t feel the same way?”

you can’t help but narrow your eyes suspiciously at his question and the little voice in the back of your head warns you to stay cool and definitely don’t get your hopes up

he can’t possibly be talking about you and him, can he?

...but if he’s not talking about you and him, then why would he bring the topic up in the first place?

oh my god. does jungkook like me too?

“well, i-” you can’t hide the soft smile on your face from the thought of jungkook having feelings for you but you quickly remind yourself that he hasn’t said anything like that at all and has really just asked you a simple question, “i don’t think you have anything to worry about, kook. you’re, like- you know, you’re super nice and funny and- yeah, i- i think if you told someone that you liked them, there would be a 100% chance of them liking you back.”

“do you really think so?” jungkook’s gaze softens and you feel your heart skip a beat at the sight

oh, god

you are so whipped for him, aren’t you?

“of course! i know so. is there- is there a reason why you asked?” you ask quickly as you lean forward, wanting to take advantage of the conversation before he loses interest in the topic

“well, i just wanted your opinion on it, because i feel like you always have something logical to say.” jungkook smiles, gently nudging your leg with his foot underneath the table, “i trust you.”

i trust you.

“i... i like you... and...” you frown at the piece of paper in your hands before looking back up at yourself in the mirror

perhaps it would be better to not follow your script word for word

this message should come from your heart, right? it shouldn’t come from a crumpled up piece of notebook paper that’s been living at the bottom of your backpack for the past week

you nod to yourself as you fold the sheet of paper in half before tucking it into your back pocket

“okay, i have something that i’ve been wanting to talk to you about,” you breathe out, shutting your eyes for a second to imagine his face in front of you before opening them again, “before you freak out, it’s really not that big of a deal. we are... we’ve been friends for- we are friends, and friends are honest with each other, so this is me being honest with you. i like you. i like you, as in, i have feelings for you. and to be completely honest, i’ve liked you for nearly a year now, which, i know is a pretty long time to have kept it a secret, but- i’ve tried multiple times to force myself to not like you but at this point it’s become clear that my feelings aren’t going anywhere anytime soon. i guess it doesn’t help that we basically spend every day together, right? anyways, if you don’t feel the same way, that’s completely fine. i promise i won’t let it ruin our friendship because i really do cherish you as a friend and the last thing i want is to make things weird, so... you don’t have to worry about hurting my feelings, you know? i just want you to be honest with me, too. ...yeah.” you finish your little monologue with a smile as you give yourself a quick pat on the back

okay, not half bad!

it’s short, it’s sweet, you get straight to the point, you have a safety net to fall back on-

you jolt in surprise at the sound of a splash and a whoosh of a toilet flushing from one of the stalls behind you and you press your lips together tightly and look down when someone steps out

wonderful

you just gave someone a free show!

she doesn’t say a word as she steps up to the sink next to you, her bracelets clinking together as she scrubs her hands under the running water

she twists the tap off with a creak before leaning down to look underneath the mirror for the paper tissue dispenser

she stands back up before pointing towards the one under your mirror, “could you pass me some paper tissues?”

“uh, yeah, for sure-” you quickly reach under and yank a couple of paper tissues out of the dispenser before handing them over to her with a sheepish smile, “by the way, i was just- i was just practicing a monologue, so...” you clear your throat quietly and she gives you a stiff smile and a nod before turning to head towards the door

you mouth a silent ‘oh my god’ and reach up to bite your fist as soon as she turns away, your entire face now red from getting caught basically confessing your feelings to yourself in a dimly-lit restroom like a total weirdo

“hey-” the stranger turns to look at you from the door, “good luck with your- um, your monologue.” she smiles softly, a knowing glint in her eyes, “i hope it works out for you.”

“oh!” you return a smile while reaching up to scratch the back of your neck, “uh, thank you. so do i.”

the door shuts with a slow creak and you exhale slowly before turning to face yourself in the mirror again before chuckling lightly, “god, so do i.”

»»————-　🖤　————-««

before you freak out, it’s really not that big of a deal...

you adjust the strap of your backpack as you push the door open and step out of the bathroom, a blast of cool air from the library immediately making the hairs on your arms prickle to life

we’re friends, and friends are honest with each other, so this is me being honest with you...

you reach down to press your palm flat over your tummy when you feel it rumble

i like you, as in, i have feelings for you...

you and jungkook are supposed to meet for lunch today and that’s when you decided you were going to tell him, but now you’re starting to wonder if maybe you can push it to tomorrow or something because you’re starting to get really, really nervous

i’ve liked you for nearly a year now, which, i know is a pretty long time to have kept it a secret. i’ve tried multiple times to force myself to not like you but at this point it’s become clear that my feelings aren’t going anywhere anytime soon...

the smell of freshly-baked pizza suddenly tickles at your nose and you look up to see that muscle memory has already brought you to the building that you’re meeting jungkook at

if you don’t feel the same way, that’s completely fine. i promise i won’t let it ruin our friendship because i really do cherish you as a friend and the last thing i want is to make things weird...

“okay, y/n. you’ve got this.” you mutter, looking at the doors of the building as you straighten your back, “everything is going to be-”

“hey, there you are!”

you grunt in surprise when you’re suddenly being tackled from behind, strong arms wrapping themselves around you and lifting you up for a split second before you’re being set back down on the ground again

“jesus, kook-” you immediately spin around and grab onto jungkook’s forearms to keep yourself steady as you wait for your eyeballs to stop rolling around in your skull, “someone’s certainly in a good mood today!”

“i’ve been thinking about pizza ever since i woke up!” he chirps, turning you back around before pushing you towards the doors eagerly, “let’s go, let’s go, let’s go-”

“alright, alright-” you laugh lightly, smiling as jungkook brushes past you to hold the door open for you, “how did your midterm go?”

“actually, it went a lot better than i expected!” jungkook nods enthusiastically as the two of you join the queue of hungry students

he turns to glance at you for a second before raising his head slightly so he can take a look at the menu up front, “i think the mock quiz you made for me really helped.”

“hey, that’s good! that’s good.” you nod slowly, pausing for a second before clearing your throat, “hey, by the way- there was something that i wanted to talk to you about.”

“ooh, i actually have something that i want to talk to you about, too.” jungkook grins before leaning over to nudge your side with his elbow, “i think you’re going to like what i have to say.”

“i- i am?” you raise an eyebrow, “well, what do you want to talk ab-”

“yeah, four slices of pepperoni, please.”

“to go or for here?”

you don’t get a chance to say anything else because the two of you are already up at the front and you shut up before hurrying to grab your wallet

“for here, please. and... hold on, gimme a sec-” jungkook pulls his student card out of his wallet before handing it to the cashier, “and an order of cheesy garlic knots too. oh, and also, two little cup-thingys of garlic aioli. what do you want to drink?” he turns to look at you and you blink owlishly before realizing that he’s paying for all of the food

“oh, you don’t have to-” you raise your own student card, “i can pay for the knots-”

“relax, you can just get it next time.” jungkook snorts before nodding towards the drinks in the back, “what do you wanna drink?”

“oh, okay, i-” you narrow your eyes to look at the drinks before nodding, “can i get a lemon iced tea, please?”

“i’ll just get a coke.”

you stay quiet as jungkook pays for the meal, the cashier handing him the receipt a second later

“do you wanna find a table for us before it gets too crowded?” jungkook turns back to look at you before taking his bag off his shoulder, “here- put my bag on the seat so no one will take it.”

“’mkay, got it.”

it seems that lady luck is on your side today when you end up spotting two empty stools facing the windows and you hurry your way over before anyone else grabs the seats

you carefully weave your way around the tables, being careful not to knock into anyone’s chairs or the back of anyone’s head (it happened to you once and it was not a pleasant feeling.)

you grin in success as you set jungkook’s bag down on the first one before settling yourself down on the second one

everything is working out wonderfully today!

“oop-” you feel a little crunch in your back pocket when you sit down and you lift yourself up for a second to quickly reach behind and- “oh-” your eyes widen in panic when you realize that you just pulled out what’s basically your love letter to jungkook and you hurry to take your backpack off so you can quickly put it away

“y/n, the nice girl gave me a brownie on the house!”

you feel your anxiety skyrocket through the roof when you hear jungkook’s voice coming up behind you and all the alarms begin to blare at the sight of the note that’s still in your hand

“we can share it!” jungkook chirps, now standing right behind you with a tray full of food, “can you lift my bag for a second?”

“uh, yes! yes, i-” you grab jungkook’s bag off the chair with a grunt and plop it down on your lap next to your own backpack before turning to look at kook with a smile, “free brownie again? that was nice of her.” you blindly feel for an opening on your bag before shoving the note into it right as jungkook gets settled next to you

pheW

crisis averted

“i know, right? i think she might like me- or maybe she likes you, i don’t know-”

“i’m pretty sure you’re the one she’s batting her lashes at, kook,” you snort, turning to glance back towards the front counter to see one of the girls staring in your guys’ direction with a dreamy smile on her face, “i feel like she’d behead me if i touched your brownie.”

“it’s okay, we can still share it- oh my god, everything smells so good.” jungkook slides the box of garlic knots with a little cup of aioli sitting on top of it over to you, “let me get a couple of bites in before i start talking- you want a bite of pizza?”

“mm-mm, i’m fine with my garlic knots.” you smile, popping the flimsy paper box open and immediately being hit in the face with the rich scent of butter and garlic, “wanna try?” you ask, tearing a chunk off one of them before dipping it into the sauce

“mm, gimme.” jungkook leans over before opening his mouth eagerly and chomping at the air and you can’t help but giggle before feeding him the bite

a minute or so ticks by where the two of you sit in comfortable silence and you chew thoughtfully as you stare out the window

you feel good!

you feel good about this

you feel like all the lights are green and all you have to do is rev the engine and slam down on the gas

you know what to say, you know exactly how to say it, and you’ve planned out all possible routes of how this conversation with jungkook might go

a) the 'oh my god, this is really happening’ scenario: you tell him you like him, he tells you he likes you back = you’ll enjoy each other’s company for the rest of lunch and maybe he’ll hold your hand when he walks you to your next class afterwards

b) the 'you’re a really good friend, but no’ scenario: you tell him you like him, he tells you that he doesn’t feel the same way and that he just wants to be friends = you tell him that it’s completely fine and that you’ll get over it, you’ll enjoy each other’s company for the rest of lunch and afterwards he will definitely not hold your hand when he walks you to your next class which is fine because friends don’t hold hands with friends

c) the ‘yikes, this is awkward’ scenario: you tell him you like him, he reacts with discomfort and mild disgust = you’re slightly offended but you still tell him that you understand anD that you’re willing to give him as much time and space as he needs, and you’ll walk to class alone

...you really, really hope it’s not the last scenario that unfolds.

“-said yes!” jungkook slaps a hand down on the sticky metal counter before letting out a laugh, “can you believe it?”

oh god

you’ve been so in your head this whole time that you completely missed the exciting news that jungkook was waiting all day to tell you about

do you want to ask him to repeat himself or do you want to pretend like you were listening to him the whole time?

“that’s... i’m so... happy for you...?” you trail off sheepishly, jungkook turning to look at you before snorting

“you weren’t listening to me, were you?”

“i was!” you argue before gesturing out the window, “i totally was, i was just- i was just a little distracted because of the pigeons outside-”

“okay, well, let me just tell you again-” jungkook wipes his greasy fingers on a napkin before turning to face you slightly, his knees knocking against the side of your legs, “i finally did it. i finally grew a pair and i finally asked ji-eun out and she said YES!”

“hey, look at you go! that’s so-” you immediately clam up when his words finally settle into the deepest depths of your brain and you feel your heart plummet to your stomach

...

oh.

well, it looks like you weren’t as prepared as you thought you were

d) the ‘i just asked someone out so i clearly don’t have feelings for you’ scenario: you don’t get a chance to tell jungkook about your feelings for him, jungkook tells you that he likes someone else, and you...

what do you do?

“hey, what’s the matter?” jungkook frowns, tilting his head before reaching over to give your shoulder a shake, “you haven’t said anything in, like, a minute.”

you didn’t even know he was interested in someone else

the name ji-eun sounds a little familiar to you — now that you think about it, you’re fairly sure jungkook’s brought her up before (something something i sit next to this girl something something she’s nice and she let me borrow a pen something something along those lines)

she’s in his sociology class, you think?

“-great!” you blurt out, forcing a bright smile on your face as you look over at him, “sorry, i just- i was just processing your great news so i guess my brain just shut off for a second- that’s so... great, kook. super great.”

“isn’t it?!” jungkook clasps his hands together before taking his bottom lip in between his teeth, his eyes all wide and twinkly, “i mean, i was actually surprised she said yes, you know? i practiced what i was going to say to her all week- i stumbled over my words a couple of times but if anything i think she found it endearing...”

jungkook’s voice starts to fade out in the background as you turn to look back out the window

the chunk of bread in your mouth feels like it’s getting bigger and bigger as you continue to chew

suddenly you’ve lost your appetite

okay

well

this is... this is fine.

this is fine, right?

if anything, this is great news!

at least now you know that jungkook definitely doesn’t feel the same way, which is... fine!

it’s fine

and it’s a good thing that he started babbling first because you can’t even imagine what would’ve happened if you’d spewed your news out first

once again: crisis averted!

you let out a little sigh as your shoulders droop slightly

you had prepared yourself for what to do if jungkook didn’t feel the same way about you... so why does it feel like you’re flailing around in the middle of the ocean trying desperately to keep your head above the water?

“to be honest, i probably wouldn’t have done it if it weren’t for what you said to me in the library last week,” jungkook hums, “you know, about how you should go for it otherwise you’ll be left wondering ‘what if’ for the rest of your li-”

“yeah, yeah, i remember.” you interrupt him a little more crassly than intended before reminding yourself to loosen up, “i- yeah. i remember. i’m glad i could help.”

“oh, and you have to help me plan the date- everything has to be perfect.” jungkook reaches over to poke a finger into your arm, “you know i’m no good at all the mushy romance stuff, but you certainly are.”

“well, i-” you let out a nervous chuckle before shrugging, “i mean, everyone’s different, you know? i, um... i don’t know if it’s a good idea that i help you plan out the date and stuff because- you know, i... i don’t know anything about ji-eun! you know more than i do, so i probably won’t be able to-”

“i feel like dinner and a movie would be super boring.” jungkook sighs as he folds his grease-stained paper plate in half before pushing it away, “i mean, i definitely still wanna take her out for food and stuff, but-”

“i would argue that a dinner and a movie is a good first date,” you shake your head, “you know, you get to talk and get to know each other during the dinner, and then during the movie, you don’t have to talk to each other for like, an hour and forty minutes so you get a bit of break.”

“i mean, i guess, but... oh, shit, i’m sorry.” jungkook winces, suddenly perking up a little, “you said you wanted to talk to me about something, right? tell me about your thing first before we plan my date.”

“my thing?” your lashes flutter and you feel your ears starting to get hot at the reminder of what exactly your thing is, “oh, god, i- it’s nothing, now that i think about it. it was something... it was something silly, so- like, i don’t even remember what i wanted to- it’s stupid. it was stupid, it’s nothing.” you chuckle uncomfortably as you rub at the back of your neck, “let’s just keep- let’s just keep planning your date! i wanna keep planning your date.”

“okay, well- if you change your mind at any point, i’m all ears.”

“mhm.” you nod as you swirl the chunk of bread around in the aioli absentmindedly before letting go of it, “got it.”

“ooh, i’ve got it!” your eyes widen when jungkook suddenly reaches over and takes your hands in his, forcing your stool to swivel around so that you’re face-to-face with him, “imagine that i asked you out on a date.”

“u-us? on a date?” you swallow thickly, “that- that’s so dumb, kook-”

“no, listen, listen-” he chuckles, giving your hands a squeeze, “if i asked you out on a date, what would we do together?”

“well, i...” you look down at your hands in his (and for a second you can’t help but feel as though your hands just fit together perfectly) as you think of what to say, “we... we like pizza, right? i think, like- we could order a pizza and a box of garlic knots and maybe have some kind of a picnic on the rooftop of your apartment building. i mean- you’d probably have to decorate the rooftop first with a bunch of little twinkly lights and you’d have to lay out a blanket and some pillows to make it comfortable, otherwise we’d just be sitting in the dark on the cold, hard ground, but- yeah. i... i think that would be really nice. because it’s an intimate setting and it gives us the chance to talk in private, and we could literally stay up there all night if we wanted to and... you know, watch the sun rise and stuff. so... if we went out on a date, that’s what we would do together.”

the little voice in the back of your head suddenly reminds you (quite cruelly) that you, in fact, were not asked out by jungkook and you won’t be having a romantic rooftop picnic with him and you immediately pull your hands away from his before laughing nervously, “but you know, that’s just an idea, so you don’t have to take it.”

your face feels hot as you turn away from jungkook and you look down at your cold garlic knots before reaching over to shut the lid and push it away

“mm... no, i actually like that!” jungkook nods eagerly, “i like that a lot- i mean, a rooftop picnic is a little cheesy, but i think ji-eun will think it’s cute!”

“great!” you clear your throat, “as long as ji-eun thinks it’s cute, i think it’s great-”

“will you help me set it up?”

great.

he’s really rubbing salt into your wound, isn’t he?

“i... of course! i would love to.” you smile stiffly before lifting the sleeve of your hoodie to check the time on your watch, “so, i'm gonna head out, i think- i need to get to my next class early if i wanna get a good spot-”

“mm, okay-” jungkook slurps up the rest of his coke before shaking the empty paper cup, “i can walk you there! i’m done for the day so i think i’m just going to go hang out in the library- ooh, i can plan out my date while i wait for you-”

“oh, you don’t have to walk me to class, it’s fine.” you dismiss him with a flick of your wrist as you pull your backpack on, wanting desperately to just end the conversation so you can get the hell out of here, “i can just meet you in the library after i’m done.”

“are you sure?” he frowns, reaching over to pick up your box, “hey, you didn’t finish your garlic knots-”

“i know, i just- i guess i wasn’t super hungry.” you shrug, “you can take them if you want! you paid for them, so...”

“okay, in that case, i’m just gonna hang out here and finish up these knots and then i’ll go to the library.” jungkook plops back down on his seat before reaching over to punch your arm gently, “text me when you’re done, bud!”

»»————-　🖤　————-««

“-now, for this next portion, i just want you to take some notes down on your computers or your notebooks or whatever you have- think about any thematic concerns in the poem that stand out to you...”

you draw circles on the blank page of your notebook in disinterest as the sound of your professor’s voice drones on and on in the background and your mind immediately takes you back to what just went down with jungkook

your hand freezes on the page and you let out a quiet little huff

damnit!

you said that you weren’t going to be all mopey if things didn’t work out, but here you are, all sad and droopy and very much radiating woe-is-me energy

all you know now is that you’re going to take your feelings out on a big ol’ pint of ice cream tonight

by the way, you should probably throw out your little love letter because you certainly don’t need any embarrassing reminders of what you were going to say to jungkook

you don’t even want to think about what could’ve happened if you told him you liked him before he told you that he’d just asked someone out

you set your pen down before leaning down to unzip your backpack, reaching in and blindly rummaging around for a crumpled up piece of paper

...

you frown, leaning down further to get your arm deeper into your bag

your fingers bump up against your planner, your wallet, your water bottle and your pencil case, but...

that’s odd

you roll your eyes in frustration as you pull your backpack up off the ground and plop it down on your lap with a fwump!, unzipping it all the way and opening it up so you can get a better look inside

you pull everything out and set your belongings down on the small table one by one, being careful not to make too much noise as to distract the professor

you’re more than confused as you stare into your empty bag after taking all the contents out of it

what?

where the hell is it?

you reach into the side pockets and you’re disappointed when you end up pulling out old tissues and empty gum wrappers

it’s not in the front pocket either — just your key, a pack of bubblegum, and a small bottle of hand sanitizer

your brows knit together in deep thought as you settle back against your seat, your eyes flickering to the side as you-

you immediately pale

oh my god.

you’re positive that your heart stops beating for three whole seconds the moment you realize where exactly the note is — because no, you idiot, you didn’t shove it into your own bag earlier-

the note is in jungkook’s bag.

🎙️help me help you make your wishes come true (send me a request!)

✨why don’t you explore the rest of the library while you’re here? (full fics!)

💫or perhaps you want something shorter to read? (drabbles/mini series like this one!)

🌟or something even shorter? (teeny tidbits!)

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tricktster · 5 years ago

Text

the twilight series suddenly makes 100% more sense if you read them under a specific premise that, i contend, is heavily supported by the text:

Much like Amy’s diary in Gone Girl, the books in the Twilight Saga are verbatim reproductions of in-universe diary entries carefully and deliberately created and curated by badass unreliable narrator Bella Swan as a means to achieve immortality.

Prerequisite assumptions:

1) Bella actively and persistently wants to become a vampire, both diagetically and (I contend) non-diagetically. The average vampire novel format often fails to capture realistic human behavior in one highly specific area: the protagonists are frequently mortals who grapple with the choice of whether to become a vampire. This is stupid, because being a vampire would obviously be dope as hell; particularly in the Twilight Universe, where vampires are not required to take a human life to survive, and indeed, have the capacity to live full and rewarding lives while integrated* into the human community.

(*integrated-ish; see Assumption 6)

2. There are too many coincidences for Bella to have encountered the Cullens by sheer chance, only to be the ONE person that Edward can’t live without (due largely to the novelty factor of not being able to read her ding-dang thoughts.)

3. Diagetically, the Volturi don’t even know Bella’s psyonic gifts until New Moon, but we also know that the Volturi scour the globe for recruits to enlist into the protection of their governing body.

4. Nobody wants to be a voiceless cog in a bureaucracy.

5. Nobody, and especially nobody in high school, wants to be a high school student forever.

6. Vampires in twilight are, as a group, cartoonishly terrible at disguising their true nature.

7. Forks is a backwater town approximately 3.5 hours away from the biotech hub of Seattle.

7. George W. Bush and Dick Cheney can eat my farts and they deserve to be preserved in this snapshot of an innocent author’s mind slowly unraveling.

Proposed timeline:

In 1993, there is a key system meltdown at a improvised biohacking startup in Seattle, rendering all innovative genetic modification experiments into a puddle of brown sludge that nobody can figure out how to dispose of per Federal regs, since they don’t even know what it is.

The broke founder of the startup, who for the purposes of this timeline I will call Jeff Bezos because that’s who it was, eventually grows tired of all the discussion about what to do, and just pops it in a barrel, drives a few hours out of town, and dumps it in a pond.

Bella Swan, a small child, is hanging out at a park with her family friend Jacob Black (and a ton of his friends) when they all decide to wade in a slightly murky pond. Thereafter, they are transformed.

Bella grows up as a normal, highly powerful mutant with a +20 to deception checks and wisdom saves. She lives in Arizona, but up until 2002, summers in Forks. While in Forks, she picks up on the local lore about a family of vampires who don’t eat people.

Because Forks (population: 17 + Charlie’s mustache) is boring, Bella bones up on the only interesting thing about it, i.e. Vampire Hometown baybeeeee.

In 2000, George W. Bush gets elected president, and his evangelical politics and general bumbling ineptitude informs Bella’s opinions on authoritative governmental entities.

In 2001, the Cullens make their intention to move back to Forks known, but they take a while because they need to pack all their stupid graduation hats and volvos, etc.

Later in 2001, a psychic Volturi scout rolls through Forks to ensure that nobody within living memory recalls the Cullens, and notices an anomaly in the psychic field.

The scout goes to confront Bella about joining the Volturi, and Bella immediately clocks him as a vampire, because vampires in the Twilight Universe fucking suck at looking/acting human. This leaves the scout in a bind: she’s too valuable to kill, but she’s a pre-teen, and therefore too young to be transformed per Volturi authority.

The scout warns her he’ll have to kill her if she discusses the existence of vampires with any human. He then tells her he’ll be back in five years, and begins to sweet talk her on how good life will be when she’s a vampire, beautiful, immortal, powerful, etc. Bella asks if she has to kill, and dude says “nah, actually there’s a bunch of vegetarian vampires who are moving back here soon. Fucking nerds, but otherwise they’re doing well.” Bella is all about becoming a vampire, because Bella is a rational actor.

Bella moves to Arizona, and as the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq are unjustifiedly initiated, she recognizes that while she DOES want to be a vampire, she does NOT want to be a foot soldier in any war that she can’t support. She needs a plan.

In 2004, Bella is watching her step-dad’s minor league baseball game when it occurs to her. On her own, she’s a target for the Volturi, but if she had some people to watch her back, she might be okay. Of course, nobody fucks with the Volturi on behalf of some rando human. She’ll need to con her way into a coven who’ll have her back and also give her that +10 to constitution via vampiric transformation, which she desperately wants because she’s a rational actor. And where are the non-volturi vampires that might have her back? Fucking Forks.

Bella moves to Forks in 2004, and upon seeing the Cullens, she immediately clocks them as vampires even though they left their “we’re all vampires” booty shorts at home, because, as previously discussed, vampires in the Twilight Universe fucking suck at looking/acting human.

Bella notes that all the vampires but one are paired off in heterosexual bliss, and takes note of the straggler as a potential vehicle to vampyrdom.

Bella figures out that Eddie can read everyone’s mind but hers, because Edward Cullen fucking sucks at looking/acting like a human who can’t read minds. Bella further observes that Eddie has a huge undead boner for her.

She’s found her mark. Now she just needs to convince him that she’s better off as part of the coven than on her own. Problem: Eddie’s a self-pitying insufferably guilt-striken perpetual adolescent who keeps himself busy by feeling sorry for himself because he’s a vampire, angst angst angst etc etc. Also, I think he’s Catholic, so add some more guilt in. She’ll have to win him over by convincing him that they’re destined to be soulmates.

What does a vampire used to having complete insight into everyone’s mind but his crush’s want? A method to know what she really thinks of him. Bella begins writing a “diary” knowing that there’s no way in hell Eddie won’t sneak in and read it. So she Gone Girls it, and begins to lay a trap to lure him in. That first diary? Twilight.

This was just in the movie but a stoner chases her around with a worm on a stick. Nothing to do with this theory, I just like that part of the movie. Where’s my spinoff about that guy?

Eddie won’t give Bella what she wants (eternal life) by the end of book 1, even though she asks him to EXTREMELY POLITELY. Time to hit the diary with some more promises of undying love.

Bella reconnects with her old friend Jacob and the rest of the Mutated By Jeff Bezos Boys. Alas, they cannot turn her into a physically powerful sexy immortal with a bite, so she’s still stuck with plan A) win over a whole family of vampires with big Mormon energy. It’s the long con.

Edward’s angst abruptly takes a swing towards terminal. He’s absolutely your classic sadboy, perhaps because Bella now has one (1) friend that he knows about.

When Eddie begins to drift away on account of Angst, Bella conjurs up a secondary love interest who, coincidentally, is ALSO a sexy supernatural entity, and is much less coincidentally just Jacob.

We should establish here that Edward is like a 107 year old white dude and so even though Diary!Bella pretends not to see it, Metatextual Frame Story!Bella knows that dude is super racist.

Jacob Black is three things: 1. Like Bella, a mutant (although one with shapeshifting abilities), 2.one of Bella’s oldest and most trusted confidants, and 3. down to clown on an elderly teenage vampire who keeps stereotyping him. Sure, says Jacob, I’ll take the form of a werewolf. He seriously thinks we’re all just beastmen, huh? Hey look at me now, I’m Regis Philbin because this is 2005 and Who Wants to be a Millionaire is still sort of relevant. Sick.

Edward does not like that Bella has one (1) other friend. Bella and Jacob plot to use this to their advantage and lure Edward back on the wings of jealousy.

Eddie gets himself into trouble on account of Angst and poor communication, so Bella has to go rescue him from himself/the Volturi.

Aro finally meets her and gets to test her powers, which impress him. Now she’s back on the fucking radar.

I forget everything that happens in Eclipse, so i have chosen to omit that part.

Eventually she extracts a quid pro quo from Eddie; i’ll marry you if you turn me into a dracula.

We don’t really call ourselves that, Wet Blanket Cullen replies, entirely earnestly.

Bella gets married at 18 in 2006, and Eddie starts to backtrack his promise about changing her. This won’t stand.

Well, look, he’s an elderly guilty catholic/mormon teen who probably still uses super racist terms, but she’s stuck on honeymoon island, he has certain angles that work for him, and seriously what are they gonna do but fuck? Bella’s alternative is listening to her “husband” drone on about his interests, which are almost certainly Car, How Do I Post a Minion Picture on Facebook, and Licorice Used To Be a Lot Cheaper in the Good Old Days.

Whoops a fetus.

Bella recognizes that she’s GOT to have this baby: time’s running out, and Bella knows that at least two of the Vamps in her coven will cut ties if she terminates or otherwise fails to carry this baby to term because of the conservative religious subtext. She’s going to have to stick it out for 9 months, even though it’s a risky call.

Bella gets what she wants after giving birth. “My time as a human is over, but I've never felt more alive. I was born to be a vampire.” That’s a direct quote. Except now she’s got a (pretty cute and easy) baby that she desperately wants to protect from Turning Into A Vaguely Religious Cullen Dressed Head To Toe In Cream Colored Wool.

Bella decides to fake her own death and escape with the kid and Jake so they can form i guess a detective agency. Bella will get “killed” by the Volturi, move to Sydney, and open up shop, and Jake will take the kid after her a few months later.

They’re gonna need a reason why Jake gets the kid though, and there’s only one reason to do anything amongst the Cullens: a heterosexual love interest with a super problematic age gap.

Jesus, Jake sighs, is Eddie really going to believe I’m in romantic love with your actual infant? Does he really think that little of me?

Yup.

Bella tries to draw the Volturi’s attention.

Works too well.

The Cullens call up all their vague acquaintances, who are at least kind of fun. Particularly that one dude who keeps getting angry about British conduct during the American Revolution.

Well, fuck, now the Volturi are bringing an army to fight their ragtag army of Vampires Who Are Cool And Interesting Enough That We Can Safely Presume They Are All Definitely Gay. Bella can’t let those guys die, they’re the first actually compelling vampires she’s ever talked to.

Bella saves the day because she’s OP.

All the Cool Vamps start packing up to leave and Bellz almost goes with them, but the Cullens would just keep sending missionaries after her if they knew.

Bella finishes her fourth journal with the vague warning that the Volturi are still out there somewhere and they miiiight just try and get her.

Two days later, she stages a scuffle and gets the fork out of Fucks. Her journals are the only clue.

Sirius Black and baby nessie follow once edward has stopped sobbing into his cream colored sweater and moved on to Extended Power Pouting.

Bella recruits her own army of fledglings.

Bella stages a coup against the Volturi and succeeds.

Bella sits on the iron throne with a hot lady vampire on each knee and they all kiss and stuff.

Nessie I guess forms a post punk band?

Edward dies from aspiration of a brussel sprout that he ate because he just wanted to feel something.

Charlie and Billy get married.

Charlie’s mustache develops a cult instagram following, providing them with a modest retirement income.

Jacob shapeshifts into Bill Murray and is always crashing weddings.

Bella’s stepdad is off in the B plot this whole time winning the world series with the help of a kooky angel.

There. Fixed. My soul is at rest.

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