#some characters I feel like could only be Brennan

[melorasmushrooms]

You ever just sit there and fancast a D20 animated show? Like imagine Cree Summer voicing the Junk Mother. Ashley Eckstien as Kipperlily Copperkettle a la Reese Witherspoon in Election. Colman Domingo as Doug Meat. Mary Elizabeth McGlynn as Hallariel. Sam Witwer as Kalvaxus

[dullahandyke]

and like sidenote if i can make a post with a target audience of zero. i feel like fhsy was to d20 what aa3 was to ace attorney but aa3 pulled it off better for reasons i cannot explain

[workingwhileidream]

Okay Burrow's End had me thinking some thoughts... So here are my favorite Dimension 20 moments that rotate like a rotisserie chicken in my brain (in no particular order other than the order I thought if them).

- Riz goes into the butthole of the Corn Ooze Monster (Fantasy High). The first absolutely insane shenanigans move anyone makes on D20, setting the tone the show will have forever.

- Raphaniel kills Queen Pamelia (Ravening War). I think I saw Brennan's soul leave his body briefly when he got that How Do You Want To Do This from Matt. Time was an absolute flat circle that day.

- Hank convinces Brennan to let him role savvy instead of sneak (Mentopolis). Hank is one of the most famous content creators, having him on the show was phenomenal to begin with. Then right out of the gate, he pulls this move in his first episode. And it just works. Hilarious, instantly iconic.

- Jet Dies (A Crown of Candy). When Lapin dies, it is shocking but I wasn't attached to him as a character. Lapin was a bit antagonistic and his death happens early in the season. On the other hand, Jet is instantly likeable. Emily and Siobhan are amazing as siblings, their performances this campaign are some of my favorites. I have siblings and I am very close to them, so this hit me like a ton of bricks.

- The entire epilogue of Burrow's End. "Are you pitching and Air Bud ending?" is one of the instant hall of fame quotes from this show. I started crying I was laughing so hard.

- Ylfa's bottleneck and the TPK (Neverafter). There are so many close calls for total party kills in Dimension 20 history, but this is where it finally happens and it's only 3 episodes in. I was on edge, expecting another TPK at any turn, for the rest of the campaign.

- 3 nat one initiative rolls for the battle that literally opens the season (A Starstruck Odyssey). The beginning of a new season is always full of excitement. This season was extra special, having everyone back in the dome after the pandemic and the season being based off Brennan's Mom's comics. The zoom energy is still in the air and I still think about this season opener a lot.

- Mother Timothy Goose breaks Snow White's concentration with a cantrip (Neverafter). Only Ally Beardsley could and we all damn well know it. Still didn't stop me from being so far in disbelief that all I could do is laugh.

- Hob's "You will never know another lonely day" speech to Rue (A Court of Fey and Flowers). I will still cry about this if I think about it for too long. Rue and Hob's romance is the heart of this season to me. I won't be over it ever.

- Gertrude convinces Nyruth to give the Questing Queens very powerful boons after the Queens tried to rob them only a few hours earlier (Dungeons and Drag Queens). The fact that this season exists drives a level of serotonin into my brain that is unimaginable. This is the definition of a big swing and when Bob rolls well, Brennan has no other choice than to honor it. This is one of the moments I have made a meme of. I cannot wait for season 2.

- Wuuvy shows up to the duel and she did not come to play (A Court of Fey and Flowers). Aabria has talked about how Wuuvy is one of her favorite NPCs and I feel the same. Wuuvy and Rue's relationship has such a great arc and this moment is so pivotal.

- Fabian's no good very bad day (Fantasy High Sophomore Year). An iconic moment in D20 history that was truly wild to watch live. For everything to go so fantastically bad for Fabian and Lou was unprecedented. There is a reason why people still talk about this moment to this day.

- Amathar survives being pushed off the castle (A Crown of Candy). Brennan tried to kill Lou so many times in this campaign. I really thought Brennan had gotten him with this one, my stomach sunk. But Lou pulls it out and Amathar lives once again.

- Pib plays "Smoke on the Water" (Neverafter). "I stepped out to play 'Smoke on the Water' " is also a hall of fame quote to me. This list could be all Pib moments if I'm being honest, he's my favorite Zac character. And the fact that Zac doesn't roll well makes this moment funnier to me.

- Buddy Bear gets planted with the All Blossom (Dungeons and Drag Queens). Jujubee and Brennan owe me a therapy session for this one. I sobbed. My cat is my baby and I will be ruined the day she leaves me, so I get it. I really do.

- "Eat your dice, Brennan" (Fantasy High Sophomore Year). A great bit made physically possible by Siobhan. I hope Siobhan gives him gummy dice or something like that so that Brennan can continue to eat his dice for Junior Year.

- Orange Top Hat Fairy (Neverafter). It's a horror season and the cast is doing bits about how hot a mini is the entire finale and the Adventuring Party that followed. I felt the stress and off the walls energy through the screen. The Smooth Criminal pin was the first piece of Dimension 20 merch I bought.

- Viola's epic takedown of Phoebe (Burrow's End). Watching Rashawn absolutely crush it her first time in the dome was amazing. I loved Viola from the jump, her arc was so satisfying and fun to watch. Also the idea of a tiny stoat kicking a gun just the right way to get it to fire is hilarious. No notes other than please have Rashawn come back on every season she possibly can.

- Evan Kelmp warns the Rosemont student not to duel him (Misfits and Magic). Brennan's deadpan warning matched with the reactions of the other players and Aabria really make this scene. An underrated Brennan moment for sure.

- Stacey Fakename turns out to be real (Mentopolis). This was such a good reoccurring bit, so to have Stacey be real at the end of the story was too funny. In a season of bits, tropes, and puns - this one has the most payoff to me and is definitely my favorite.

[dropoutconfessions]

It makes me incredibly angry when people say "Riz is canonically aro/ace" and act like you're a horrible person if you ship him with people. Like. Nowhere in the show is it ever stated that he's aro/ace. The conversation people reference as him being "canonically" aro/ace is just him expressing his lack of very specifically sexual attraction, and even then the response from his dad (and by extension Brennan and the show as a whole) is that it's okay, and that it's specifically unclear whether he's ace or whether it's just not something that's happened for him in specific yet. It is intentionally vague as to whether he is ace or not, and there's genuinely zero indication in the show that he's aro other than that he doesn't have a love interest which could be completely unrelated.

Right so I'd like to share my opinion on this for a brief moment. I am still fully here to give people a voice, but this is just, an issue that kinda hits close to home since I'm demiaro.

The most annoying thing in a lot of media is when representation is shoehorned in as a list of labels and buzzwords we're given. Queer people should not have to turn to the screen and say their full identity in order for them to be canonically queer. That's what subtext is for. That's what good writing does. Is not spell it out for you when it's not necessary to do so. They do not need it to be spelt out for it to be very clear that he's ace/aro.

I am going to assume ignorance here instead of assuming malicious intent. The idea that the reason he isn't ace, is because "it's not something that's happened for him in specific yet", is an extremely common thought process behind asexual erasure. I'm sure that's not what you intended, but that is something to reflect on in general.

Both Adaine and Riz have yet to have relationships or display crushes (not counting junior year since most of the evidence comes from sophomore year) . Adaine hasn't gotten an entire nightmare sequence / arc around dealing with here friends all finding partners and leaving them alone. Adaine hasn't expressed or had conversations about any lack of sexual or romantic feels to the extent Riz has. Adaine is headcanoned as ace/aro by some people. Riz is more than that. Riz is very much canonically ace/aro if you do the slightest bit of character analysis. There's accidental coding and then there's Riz Gukgak.

List of every single Riz trait that is hella ace/aro coded

A lack of sexual and romantic attraction to other people (I'm not counting the time where he said he was kinda into Sexy Rat, that whole scene was a bit, and absolutely insane)

Making up a partner/crush in order to fit in (I have 1000% done that and so have a lot of acespec and arospec people)

A fear of being left behind by his friends because of a belief that they will find partners and move on from him, largely caused by alloromantic culture's insane emphasis on how the most important relationship is a romantic one

The fact that almost every other fantasy high pc has been in a relationship or a crush (kristen had tracker and gertie, gorgug had zelda, unit, and mary ann, fabian had aelwyn, ivy, and mazey, adaine had oisin and possibly zayn depends on your interpretation, and fig has had ayda and a string of professionals in a variety of fields across seasons 1 and 2) with only riz as a single character

The fact his sophomore year arc was entirely about his lack of sexual/romantic attraction and fear of being left alone because of it

Like not even a joke, it was that and his dad, that was the whole arc

His junior year arc was also about his obsession to stay together as a friend group, which like I mentioned above, is very clearly based in his asexuality and aromanticism

I am not going to stop people from shipping characters ever. If you want to rewrite character sexualities, that's fine by me, I'm a big believer in "Don't Like, Don't Read". I am not gonna pretend like characters are not their sexuality in canon so that people feel justified in writing their stories. People who rewrite character sexuality can do so without making everyone else assuage their guilt for them. I know I'm on the "piss on the poor" reading comprehension website, but it's not hard to tell Riz is ace/aro in canon, and pretending otherwise doesn't help your case.

[callsign-rogueone]

the last six years - b.s.

Brennan Sorrengail x reader Only one person has remained by Brennan’s side for the last six years, through the good and the bad. [requested] wc: 3.9k 🏷: SPOILERS FOR FOURTH WING AND IRON FLAME. fatal injury, blood, and multiple character deaths. basically every bad thing that has ever happened to Brennan will be in this series. I took some major creative liberties with this one and made a bunch of stuff up regarding Tyrrish culture, but we’re just gonna breeze right past that. more to come, because Brennan is just so husband material… mans had me giggling and kicking my feet every time he spoke.

“Tairn! We need Naolin!” You scream, praying that he is alive to hear you. “Bren, please, stay with me.”

His chest rises and falls slowly; he's still breathing. Breathing is good. “Y’need to get out of here.”

“No. I’m not leaving you. Eyes open, Bren, please,” you beg, pressing your hands deeper into the wound. “Tairn!”

“Thirty seconds out!” He yells back.

There’s not much you can do. To remove the arrow is a death sentence when you don’t have any medical supplies. It’s the only thing keeping the blood in his body, but even then it’s doing a shitty job; the warm crimson continues spilling out through your fingers, seemingly endless. 

“S’ gonna be okay, sweetheart,” Brennan soothes, feeling your panic.

“Bren, you need to stay awake. You can’t die. I can’t keep going without you.” Tears are pouring freely down your cheeks, dripping down onto the dark fabric of his flight jacket.

“You’re bleeding,” he mumbles, ignoring your pleas. He’s slipping away, fast, falling into the slow confusion that comes with a shortage of blood to the brain. “Let me mend you.”

“I’ll worry about myself later. Right now we need to keep you alive.” 

Heavy bootsteps enter the room. “Holy shit,” Naolin breathes, at your side in an instant. He digs in his bag, producing sutures and gauze.

If you act quickly, and if by some miracle the arrowhead hasn’t pierced Brennan’s heart, you can keep him stable long enough to find another mender. You break the shaft of the arrow, Brennan whimpering in pain as it shifts within his chest. 

“I know, my love, I’m so sorry,” you soothe, wiping your palms on your pant legs and moving to cradle his head in your lap as Naolin takes over. You keep whispering reassurances to him, terrified that if you stop, it’ll sever the last thread holding him in this world. “You’re doing so good, Bren. Almost done, I promise.”

Naolin gives you a look that tells you no, he’s not almost done. 

Brennan’s grip on your hand loosens, and you scramble to grab his wrist, bloodied fingers trying to find a pulse -- to no avail. “No,” you cry, tears pouring down your cheeks, “Bren, please wake up, please.”

The slow thump beneath your fingertips stops. Brennan’s heart is no longer beating.

You sob, a desperate sound that splits the air of the ballroom, and Naolin makes his decision, grasping Brennan’s hand and yours. “The two of you need each other.” 

“Nao, you can’t-” you gasp at the rush of energy that rips through you, the pain in your broken ribs diminishing instantly. You feel like you’ve been given a shot of pure adrenaline.

Naolin stops breathing just as Brennan starts again, collapsing to the marble floor, and your lips part in shock.

“He is gone,” Tairn confirms, fighting to keep his voice even. “May your gods honor his sacrifice and reward him in the next life.”

“I’m so sorry.”

His eyes are closed. That comforts you in some tiny way, that he looks whole, uninjured, like he could just be sleeping, but you know that isn’t the case.

Brennan’s breaths are even, pulse steady. The wound looks days old now, the fresh blood coating the skin the only evidence that he had nearly died today. He’ll pull through, as long as you can get out of here.

You say a prayer to Malek on your friend’s behalf, casting one last glance at his unmoving body, and gather Brennan into your arms -- he’s still breathing, but limp, exhausted. You can carry him out of here, but where will you go?

A man bearing a crossbolt steps into the ballroom.

You make no movement toward your weapon, still holding Brennan’s body to your chest. “We surrender,” you rasp, praying he will take pity on a pair of bloodsoaked young lovers and their fallen comrade. 

He steps closer, not responding. 

The words escape you before you can think. The old language feels foreign on your tongue, misshapen from years of disuse. “I am a daughter of the house Lindell, and a citizen of Tyrrendor. I have sworn an oath to-”

“I know who you are, Lady,” he says. “Come with me.”

He stops in front of an abandoned farmhouse, painted gold in the sunset. “Bathe, sleep. I’ll be back when I can.”

You remain by Brennan’s side. You stitch up his wounds, wash the dried blood from his skin, count his heartbeats as he continues to sleep. 

Night comes, bringing freezing wind through the cracked windows, and you climb into the bed beside him, pulling the few blankets you’d found over the pair of you. He curls into your side, seeking warmth — his skin is still cold, but not as icy as it had been when you limped him over here.

When you wake the next morning, the man has not yet returned.

“Ban?” You ask quietly. You haven’t heard from the dragon since you’d dismounted over a day ago, but she must still live, as you do.

“Nearby, with Marbh,” she reassures. “Tairn has returned to Basgiath to be with his mate. It will take years for him to recover from this loss, but he will live on.”

You continue to stroke Brennan’s hair, taking solace in the steadiness of his breathing.

“Your devotion to the mender is the strongest I have seen from any human,” she says quietly. 

“He has become the air I breathe. It was unbearable when he…” you don’t even want to think the words. “I don’t know what I would have done, had Naolin not intervened.”

Brennan stirs, stretching in the cute way you’ve seen him do so many times after waking up, scrunching his face at the bright morning light streaming into the room. He takes you in, thanking the gods that the only injury you bear is a yellowing bruise on your cheek. A gentle hand cradles your face, and it vanishes.

“Naolin?” He asks quietly, and something tells you he already knows deep down.

You shake your head, your eyes brimming with tears. “He gave his life to save you.” 

He looses a shuddering breath, and you gather him into your arms, crying together.

You attempt to mentally prepare yourself to enter the assembly room, adjusting your posture -- shoulders back, chin up, eyes forward. 

“Not a word,” you warn Brennan quietly. “Keep your shields up, like I taught you.”

“I didn’t know we were taking prisoners,” a lanky teenage boy calls, eyeing you from his perch on the edge of a table. In the years you’ve been away, he’s grown into his father’s dark features, and the lazy confidence that can only come with a noble title. “I was wondering when you’d be back from playing soldier. Have they brought you here to negotiate?”

“Lovely to see you again too, Xaden,” you say dryly, addressing the boy by name, and Brennan’s gaze whips toward you in shock. “No, I am not here to negotiate. We are here to surrender, and if you will have us, we will take your side in this fight to free Tyrrendor from those who have oppressed her for centuries.”

“They would be an asset to us, should this prove to not be a setup,” one of the elders says, keeping his hand on the hilt of his longsword.

“She has proved her allegiance to Tyrrendor time and time again,” Xaden defends coldly, dismissing the man who looks old enough to be his grandfather. “It is the general's son that I’m more concerned with.”

You look him directly in the eye as you speak, raising your chin. “Sorrengail is a strong rider and skilled mender, but above all, he is a good man. I could not have chosen anyone better to share the crown with when the day comes.”

Brennan looks at you like he has no idea who you are, trying to discern if this is a dream.

Xaden finds this amusing. “She really didn’t tell you? Always so secretive, that one. Your girlfriend is heir apparent to the Duchy of Lindell, as I am to Aretia, where you stand.”

He looks to the elders, who all nod in affirmation, deeming your appraisal of Brennan satisfactory. “It’s good to have you back, Lady. Things were getting boring without you.”

You lower your head to him in thanks, Brennan quickly copying you.

You tug Brennan into the hall after you’re dismissed.

“Did you really mean that?” He asks, head still spinning.

“Every word,” you reply. “From the moment you extended that hand to me in our first year at Basgiath, I knew you were good to your core, Brennan Sorrengail. It would be an honor to share my duty with you.” 

“Your mate needs you,” Marbh says, making a rare appearance.

Your heart drops. You sprint down the valley trail back to the house, attempting to ascertain what had happened, but you aren’t given a response. Marbh has always been vague.

You find Brennan tucked into a corner of your shared room, back pressed to the wall. He’s clutching a piece of parchment that you recognize to be a Basgiath death roll. He extends it to you wordlessly, and your eyes race down the list, searching for Mira, his mother, another of your friends…

The final name on the list, below the rider’s quadrant cadets, almost as an afterthought… Major William Sorrengail. His father.

“Oh, Bren,” you breathe, gathering him into your arms, “I’m so sorry.”

His entire body shakes with a sob, and it takes everything in you to not cry as well, but you remain strong, needing to be there for him. “I knew I’d never see him again,” he says in a cracked whisper, “but now…” But now it’s real.

You’d never met the man, and now you never will, but you know what a profound impact Brennan’s father had on his life, imparting so many of the qualities that you admire about Brennan; his dedication to his studies, his respect for the scribes that so many others dismiss or overlook, his unwavering compassion…

You offer a silent prayer to Malek on his behalf, asking that He show the scribe the same kindness that he had shown others in life.

“I don’t know why, or how,” Brennan rasps, “I don’t know who was there with him in the end, if Mira and Violet got to say goodbye, if my mother…” he can’t finish the sentence, words cut with shaking breaths. He loses the strength to hold himself up, collapsing into your embrace. “I should be there,” he sniffles, “I should have been there.”

“I know how much you love him. He knew too, I’m sure he did. They all do.” You hold him tighter, stroking his hair. “The girls are strong. They will mourn, but they will get through it together.”

He’s run out of tears, leaving him with a headache and a hollow feeling in his chest. He eventually relaxes, not saying a word as you smooth down the soft waves of his hair, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. He’s fallen asleep. You just hope his dreams will be kind to him.

“Enough,” you command, and all heads turn toward you. “I will not have you disrespect Riorson nor his partner in his own home. Have you forgotten what he has done for our young?”

Ulices stiffens. “My apologies, Lady.” He says the title with an ounce of venom, but yields, returning to his seat.

Violet continues to study you. You’re dressed simply, head to toe rider’s black mixed with traditional Tyrrish leather armor and intricate braids that she has only seen drawn in history books, but it’s obvious in your posture that you’re nobility - you do not dip your head below the horizon even for a moment, and you speak with the confidence that others will listen.

“We have better things to do than argue about what should have happened. There is no turning back time,” you say calmly. “I agree that we have been given a legion of students rather than trained warriors, but it has become our job to train them.”

Brennan speaks next. He’s been silent since the meeting started. “What professors have joined us should resume modified versions of their courses, and we will fill in the gaps. Match up those with similar signets for mentorship. Emeterrio can continue to lead combat training, and Devera Battle Brief. Kaori has not joined us, but I think there is an obvious replacement.”

You’re saddened by the news, but you smile softly at his praise. 

Violet realizes that the scribbled amendments in the dragons section of Brennan’s book weren’t Mira��s, but yours. You’ve been close for years, then. You must have brought him here with you when you deserted. Part of her wonders if you’d attended Basgiath because you wanted to, or as a spy.

“Do not question the royal one’s integrity,” Tairn warns her, but does not elaborate further.

“The riot has decided that everyone here can be trusted,” you state. “And if anyone turns out not to be, we will do what we have to do, without hesitation, for the good of the movement.”

There’s sounds of agreement from the other six, and then the meeting is over.

“Hey,” he says softly, leaning against the doorframe, clutching a bloodied rag to his face.

“What the hell happened to you?”

“Mira’s fist happened,” he explains, lifting it, and you wince at the sight of his nose, the bridge split and bruising. “I’ll be fine in a day or two.”

Your heart twists. Brennan hasn’t been able to see his sisters for nearly a decade, spending the last six years in hiding and the two before that stationed across the continent with hardly enough leave to travel back and forth to Basgiath. For Mira to have punched him straight in the face instead of the tearful hug he’d dreamed of… it must have crushed him.

You press a gentle kiss to his cheek, careful not to bump his nose. “I’ll talk to her,” you say softly. “Go see the healers.”

You’ve only met the middle Sorrengail in passing, nearly ten years ago now, but she’s exactly as Brennan had described her; a younger version of their mother, and just as strong-willed. Evidently, she remembers you, scowling and crossing her arms at the sight of you, but still standing at attention — there’s no missing the Major’s insignia on your chest. Violet stands as well, but doesn’t look as sour as her sister. 

You wave a hand. “At ease. I am not here to issue orders, rather to talk about your brother.”

Mira prickles, Violet looking concerned.

You choose your words carefully. “I do not expect either of you to forgive him overnight, nor for you to forgive me for my complacency in this matter. All I ask is that you show him some compassion. It has been hard for him too, being apart from his family. When your father-”

“That is not a sentence you should finish,” Mira interrupts.

“Mira,” Violet scolds softly, “be nice.”

“No,” she snaps, “I don’t think you understand. We mourned him. We called him a hero, thought he died honorably in battle when he really just deserted and changed his name.”

“He did die,” you say, and the eyes of both women flit back toward you. You look over your shoulder. “He bled out on the floor of that ballroom, and his heart stopped. Our friend siphoned away his life to save him.”

“Tairn’s previous rider,” Violet says in a whisper, as if the dragon will not hear her that way.

“Yes. Naolin.” You say his name with a heavy voice. No wonder Tairn won’t speak to her of the one who came before. That explains the gruff dragon’s defense of you, too.

Mira is silent, likely feeling guilt over her outburst as she realizes her brother still lives in the house he’d been killed in, with the son of the man who had ended his life.

“The elders gave him the name Aisereigh — meaning resurrected — as a layer of protection from those who hold vendettas against your mother. It hurt him to take it, and to not be able to give me the Sorrengail name, but it was necessary for his survival.”

Violet’s eyes land on the band circling your ring finger, a smooth strip of silver carved with Tyrrish runes. Brennan had worn a matching one when she’d seen him the day after War Games, but she hadn’t thought anything of it until now. “You’re married.”

You nod. “Three years ago, right on that bluff at the top of the valley, on a gorgeous summer day. Both of us wish those he loves most could have been there.” 

“Thank you,” Violet says quietly, “for staying with him through it all.”

“I have been by his side since our first year at Basgiath, and I will remain there as long as we shall live, as I have vowed to,” you reply with the same blunt conviction that she’s used to from Xaden — that must be a Tyrrish thing. “Now please excuse me. I have a class to teach in a few minutes.”

Mira lowers her head to you in a gesture of respect. “I’m sorry,” she says, but she does not say what for.

You give her a soft smile in return, heading back into the house.

“Major Aisereigh will be taking over your dragonkind course, as Professor Kaori did not elect to join us here,” Professor Devera announces.

It’s strange to be standing on the dais as an equal with the woman who’d had a hand in kidnapping you from Brennan’s bed to torture you eight years ago, but nearly everything about your life since that night has been strange.

“I don’t know precisely what Kaori did and did not cover thus far in the term, but given that every person in this room has managed to bond a dragon, you are clearly proficient, and I will treat you as such,” you begin. “Dragons are independent, often to a fault, but do not forget that your health depends on theirs. As riders, you must learn how to care for them properly. That’s what we will be focusing on for the remainder of the term, along with flight mechanics and keeping your seat under stress.”

You glance at Brennan, who is sitting incognito in the back row, broken nose now mended, and he nods, an easy smile on his face. You’re doing great.

The lesson passes easily, your students much more engaged than you remember your peers having been in Professor Kaori’s class. 

“I will be needing volunteers to help with the maintenance of the riot while they’re grounded.”

At least thirty hands shoot straight up — half the class.

The trek up the valley wall is never easy, but you make winded conversation with several of the volunteers, mainly nervous first-years who confide that they need the extra practice.

You stop at the top of the trail, cupping a hand to your mouth and calling out a few short notes, and Banrion is at your side in seconds, shaking the ground with her landing. At least a dozen others land nearby, sitting upright in waiting. 

“You’ve brought children,” she appraises, eyeing them with distaste.

“Cadets,” you correct, “that you will be helping me teach. So be nice.”

She chuffs softly. “Fine.”

“I have chosen some more agreeable members of the riot to aid me today, to ease you into their care, but let me make this clear,” you say to the class, who have retreated to give you and Ban a healthy distance. “the majority still find it deeply offensive to be addressed by a human that is not their rider. Unless your bonded has joined us today, please refrain from speaking to any directly.”

You wait for nods of affirmation. “Banrion and I will demonstrate pre-flight checks once, and then you will split into groups of two or three to do the same with the remainder here.”

Once you get everyone settled, you find Brennan — he’d tagged along quietly, not wanting to part ways after the morning’s chaos.

“Well done, Professor,” he says, smiling. “You just might make this a day job.”

You laugh. “Is this everything twenty-year-old Bren thought it would be?”

“It is,” he says quietly. “And more.”

You gaze out at the field of cadets. “Marked and unmarked, living in harmony.”

Brennan squeezes your hand in acknowledgment, remembering how scared you had been when the first marked ones left for Basgiath, and each year since. It had hurt you deeply when not all of them returned. 

Tairn stalks up to you, dipping his head in greeting. “Good to see you again, royal one.”

You smile. “Glad you’re still around, big guy. You have made an excellent choice in Violet. How is the golden one?”

“Still dreamless,” he answers, not deigning to reply to your compliment. 

You worry your lip between your teeth, concerned. 

He casts a glance around at the young cadets in the vale, who are taking their tasks very seriously. “You remain as revered a leader as you were at Basgiath.”

You’re actually touched, but you won’t dare mention that to Tairn.

“It is not an easy feat to raise young,” a green scorpiontail says in agreement, looking down fondly at the first-years that are inspecting her claws for cracks, “but the two of you are doing a fine job.”

You smile. “And how are your young?”

“Safe,” she answers. “You may come see them after dark.”

“It would be an honor.”

“Professor?” A cadet calls from across the field, sounding mildly concerned.

You pull apart from Brennan reluctantly. “Duty calls. I’ll see you tonight.”

“Kiss for your thoughts?” you ask playfully, seeing the weary look on his face. It’s been a long day for him, with multiple arguments among the assembly and all the emotions of reuniting with Mira.

“I have both of my sisters back,” he breathes, still in disbelief. “I thought I’d never see them again.”

You lay a hand on his back, resting your head on his shoulder. “I spoke with them before class. Mira was particularly upset, but she softened when I told her what really happened.”

He’s quiet. “She has every right to hate me for what I did. She should despise me for the rest of my life.”

“But she doesn’t,” you remind him gently. “She holds anger, but she doesn’t hate you. You’re her brother, and she knows you love her. You wrote her an entire textbook on how to survive the rider’s quadrant. If that isn’t testament enough, I don't know what is.”

He shakes his head, smiling softly. “How do you always know the right thing to say?”

You grin, moving to climb into his lap. “Because I know you, and I know exactly what goes on in that beautiful brain of yours.”

“Yeah?” he asks, nose brushing against yours, a ringed hand settling on your waist. “What am I thinking about right now?”

“Hmm. Probably about how long of a day it’s been, and how you’d like to unwind after all of it?”

“You’re absolutely right,” he says. “I’ll take that kiss now.”

You lean forward, connecting your lips to his, and the rest of the world falls silent, melting away until all that’s left is you, your husband, and the love you share, love that has endured death itself.

[justallihere]

Okay, I did some laundry, I've had lunch, I've breathed fresh air and taken some deep breaths (did not touch any grass because it's covered in snow), and we're back. My wrap up thoughts of Onyx Storm are below! Be warned it's chock full of spoilers, and these are all my honest opinions. I haven't even given this a rating yet because I don't really know what I want to rate it! Nothing's really in order so sorry about that. But I look forward to hearing everyone else's thoughts!

I loved that the importance of the bond between dragon and human was emphasized so heavily in this book. That Asher called Aimsir Lilith's first love, Violet telling Tairn he's the gift of her life, that even Halden knew that the true barrier to her would be the dragon bond - and especially that when Xaden channeled again, in a way that he knew would irreversibly damn him, he did it for Sgaeyl. To keep her safe, because she chose him before and above everyone else.

I adored the Riorgail of it all. They were open and honest with each other, saying I love you practically every other breath, declaring their loyalty and devotion to each other in front of anyone who would listen. I loved that we got them as a team, facing stuff together and trusting that what they couldn't the other could handle it.

On the other hand, it may just be me but they didn't quite feel like themselves. Maybe because it was the first time we've truly seen them be public about their feelings, but they didn't feel like the same Xaden and Violet from the previous two books. Xaden felt so intense that everything he said gave me anxiety, devoted to the point of obsession. I would actually call Violet morally gray here, but it came out of nowhere; there wasn't a great transition into that change in her character, none of the hesitation or guilt I'd expect.

In short, they kind of felt like my Xaden and Violet and not canon? I loved them, but I'm not sure it matches what we know of them from FW and IF and the change in character didn't feel entirely smooth.

But Xaden IS her sword!!!!

The worldbuilding was ridiculous. Violet was dropping facts left right and center like the details of the aristocracy and politics at play were common knowledge - and maybe they are in world, but if they're that obvious then I feel like those details should've been worked into earlier books. I felt like I was floundering trying to keep up with all the new names and titles and roles.

In the same vein, the lore about magic made no sense. So only the Continent has magic but why? Was it drained from other places? Does it only occur naturally in certain areas? Dragons don't have magic that exists within them - they also draw from the source which? Hello hypocrites much? That was another thing that was said so casually, but that should've been one of those things we learned in Fourth Wing, at Threshing or right after.

There was too much happening with the plot to the point that I lost it completely. The trips to the isles were overwhelming. I know the venin and the irids were tied together, but those two things competed so much that I kept forgetting about whichever one we weren't talking about. Literally just. . . forgot about the venin there for a bit in the middle. We were looking for a cure but we were looking for Andarna's kind but we were trying to stop the venin and we were also gathering allies and making trade deals and none of those points were fleshed out completely.

The ending was vague and confusing in a way that made me frustrated instead of interested or anticipatory. I read the last two chapters three times and I still don't know what the fuck was going on there. So the Sage is. . . Fen? Is Garrick the one who also turned? Bodhi? Brennan? Ridoc? Fuck if I know. I understand the point of the marriage, to give Violet control over Tyrrendor legally, but I'm also pissed at the way it happened.

I know we don't want anyone to actually die, but I literally didn't even flinch when Mira's throat got cut open because I figured she'd be fine. There were no important deaths. Trager and Quinn didn't hit that hard. Not putting any of the main characters in significant danger makes the stakes feel lower than they should.

The fan service made me roll my eyes. I get it to a certain extent, but there were several times when I legitimately kind of felt like RY had been in fandom spaces or someone on her team was just feeding her popular theories to include.

The marked ones having second signets was. . . not my favorite choice, because logistically it doesn't make much sense. We should statistically see at least one of them go mad from the power instead of developing a second signet. And I actually think if that had been included it would have been more interesting! I'd like to see the reality of the risks that were taken to make the rebellion happen, but instead they just got really really lucky a bunch of times?

The use of the word Riorgail in print sent me to the fucking moon. No.

Violet's second signet. . . I don't want to talk about it.

Actually no I do. Since when are signets based on situational need and not who a person is at their core? Was that not what we were told previously? Am I tripping? I don't mind the power itself but I am confused.

Professor Riorson had me on the ground laughing. What the hell was that. There are enough barriers to their relationship, and that one felt too forced (but great fodder for smutty fic).

The characters and their relationships are the standout of the book and the series. I already said I loved Xaden and Violet here, but I also loved their friendships and how real especially the relationship with Brennan and Mira and Violet felt. The humor and the quips and the squad's constant support of each other was wonderful.

I'm holding onto those Sloane and Dain crumbs like a teddy bear you all have no idea. I love them.

Aaric being the one with precognition I didn't see coming, but I surprisingly liked it! I loved him stepping more into his role as prince and seeing how cunning and smart he really is.

Halden was unnecessary but I live for possessive and jealous Xaden.

Overall I think the pacing was crammed and the worldbuilding left me with more questions than answers, but did I still like it? Yes! I don't think it's my favorite in the series but it still was an enjoyable read. I'll want to read it again at some point I think, but not immediately!

[heytherecentaurs]

Burrow's End is an absolute masterpiece.

In the span of ten episodes Aabria and Co. weave an exciting and emotional adventure story about a family of sentient stoats. It delivers huge laughs, interesting societal criticism, remarkably emotional and well-acted scenes and concludes with a series of epilogue scenes that feel appropriate for each character, some heartfelt and subdued and others bigger than life and all the funnier for it.

Siobhan and Izzy play the perfect pair of siblings. They fight and argue but they also love each other. Jaysohn (Siobhan) looks up to Lila (Izzy) and believes she's the smartest stoat in the world (and by the end she probably is) and Lila hypes up her little brother's athletic skills. They both fully embodied these kids and I could watch them do fun stuff for more episodes. Give me a version of Saved by the Bell with them. Stoat by the Bell.

Brennan and Rashawn, playing sisters, also knock it outta the park, showing a more mature sibling dynamic. Brennan portrays Tula as the quintessential overtired single mother of excitable kids, and Rashawn as younger sister Viola straddles a very interesting line of being intimidating to outsiders but very much more naive and looking to her older sister when she starts a family.

Jasper as Thorn, a guy everyone just lets be a cult leader because he really wanted to, is fantastic. His is a difficult role as the only non-blood relative. Jasper plays Thorn with such real humanity of a guy in over his head and letting his ambition wife call the shots, but also one who agrees with her goal, really loves her and has moments of real menace. He has some very funny scenes, his big speech is perfect, and I just enjoy him.

Erika is wonderful. They play the epitome of generational trauma as many have said but as much trauma as Ava has, she is also loving and willing to learn. The fact Erika took this adversarial role is incredible. The tense dramatic scene primarily between Ava, Tula and Viola is amazing. They act their asses off and make hard choices that I imagine are difficult even for such an experienced player.

Aabria's DMing always feels fun. She doesn't get bogged down in the rules. She knows them. She plays by them. But as a master, she knows how and when to break them too. Her seasons on Dimension 20 have all had a tenseness, a particular edge to them that can give me anxiety during dramatic scenes between two characters. It always feel like one of her NPCs may say something devastating and the tension between characters reaches really thrilling heights. This is present in other seasons, but I don't think anyone does it as well as she does. The first season of hers to have battle maps, Aabria really swung for the fences and gave us some of the wildest maps to date.

Shout out to Carlos Luna's voice acting. He did an incredible job. And shout out to the whole crew who have put together one of the best seasons of D20. They keep finding ways to build on what's come before and they should be commended for it.

Dimension 20 is most successful when the concept is very streamlined. They don't do huge 100 episode campaigns capable of handling huge winding complex narrative, but short focused D&D stories, which is why many of the Side Quests have been so fantastic. They embody this philosophy most clearly, but it's apparent in the most beloved Intrepid Heroes seasons as well—John Hughes/High Fantasy, Game of Thrones/Candyland, Retrofuturism, Film Noir but in a Brain... Burrow's End fits this perfectly. It's streamlined concept paired with great storytellers and great chemistry sets it up to be a smash hit before it begins. And goddamn does it deliver.

Thanks Stupendous Stoats!

[writinginatree]

Adaptability

Relationship(s): Bodhi Durran/female!reader, Imogen Cardulo & Garrick Tavis & reader

Summary: After an injury sustained at Resson leaves you with a lasting impairment, your boyfriend Bodhi helps you as best as he can while you learn how to navigate the world under these new conditions.

Warnings: Spoiler for the start of Iron Flame, swearing, injury, implied panic attack, mentions of canon-typical violence and canon character death, reader is a marked one

A/N: Phew, this one took me pretty long to write... The stuff with reader's signet was a bit of a challenge, but I hope I managed to explain it in a way that makes sense? Idk, but all in all I'm surprisingly happy with how this turned out ^^

Part 2

Everything is black. You try to open your eyes, but they're already open. They feel sore, like when you've been looking in the sun for too long. Voices reach you through the haziness of your mind, overlapping so you can't make out the words. The voices stop, someone walks away, the sound of their footsteps unnaturally loud in your pounding head.

You try to sit up. The surface below you feels soft, like a bed, but that can't be right. You were in the middle of battle when— shit! The venin!

You sense movement beside you and reach for the alloy-hilted dagger that should be strapped to your thigh, but find nothing. Still sluggish from your involuntary nap and disoriented by the lingering darkness, you feel around for your other daggers. The one at your hip is right where it belongs, and you instantly feel better when your fingers wrap around the hilt. It won't kill the venin, but it's better than nothing. You probably dropped the alloy one when you passed out. It has to be close by. You'll just—

A hand is placed on top of yours before you can fully draw your weapon, and you flinch.

"It's okay," someone says. "The battle is over, you're safe."

"Bodhi? Is that you?" You know it's him from his voice, but the darkness irritates you. You look in the direction he seems to be in and try to find his face in the darkness. Nothing. Why the fuck is it so dark? For a moment you think that maybe Xaden encased the area in shadow, but if the battle is over, that doesn't make much sense. "What's going on?"

There's movement again, then you feel Bodhi sit down closer to you, his hip touching yours. He takes both your hands in his and places a kiss first on one, then the other.

"You got injured and passed out," he explains, as if you can't figure that much out yourself. You remember the venin in front of you, a blinding explosion before unconsciousness came over you.

"I feel fine. Besides a bit of a headache. But why is it so dark?"

Only silence. If he weren't still holding your hands, you might have thought he left.

"Bodhi?"

"It's not dark, love. The sun from the window is shining right at you."

Window? Okay, so you definitely aren't in Resson anymore. And now that he says it, you become aware of the warm feeling of sunlight on your skin. But— "What are you talking about?! It's pitch black in here. Wherever here is. I can't see shit!"

"Here is my room. At Aretia." You want to ask what the fuck you're doing in Aretia, but he already continues, "And you can't see because—" He swallows hard. "Because your eyes are— they're hurt pretty bad. Brennan mended what he could, but..."

Cold dread creeps into you. You shake your head and try to pull your hands from Bodhi's to feel for your eyes, but he holds on tight.

"But?" you urge him to finish his sentence. You're not sure you actually want to hear it, but you need to.

"But he can't restore your vision," Bodhi says quietly. "I didn't understand everything he said, but that's what it comes down to. You will never see again."

No. It can't be. It can't be.

"I'm so sorry, darling."

You shake your head, trying to deny that this is happening. There's no way. It has to be a nightmare. Some sick joke. A trick the venin are playing on you. Maybe you're still in the midst of battle and none of this is actually real. But no matter how many times you close your eyes and open them again, the darkness just won't yield.

"Shh, don't panic," Bodhi pleads. "Please don't panic."

"You're telling me I'm blind and I'm not supposed to panic?!" You cringe at the way you sound — like a hysterical little girl. As a rider, you should have more composure than that. You know Bodhi is right, freaking out won't make it better. But knowing that does nothing to help you stay calm. This can't be happening, that's all you can think.

Suddenly your dragon's voice fills your head, her relief palpable. "You're awake."

"I can't see!"

"I know," Fonn soothes. "I know. But you will adapt."

You shake your head, biting back a sob as you block her out. You can't deal with her endless fucking optimism right now.

"I'm sorry," Bodhi says, and pulls you into his arms. There is nothing he can say to make this better, and he seems to know it, because he doesn't say any more.

For a few minutes he just holds you in silence, rocking back and forth with you in an effort to soothe you. You're aware you're starting to hyperventilate as the panic rises the more the truth sets in, but you can't seem to stop the sobbing, no matter how hard you try. Blind. You're fucking blind. Who has ever heard of a blind rider? You're fucking dead. Fresh meat for your enemies, defenseless because you can't see them.

"You will learn how to fight without seeing them," Fonn insists, ripping through your mental shields as though they're paper. You really need to get better at keeping them up even under extreme stress. You block her again, putting more effort into it this time. Hearing that you should look at the positive side, how lucky you are to still be alive at all, is the last thing you need right now, and knowing Fonn, that's exactly how she views the situation.

"Shh, baby, breathe" Bodhi soothes. "Come on, deep breaths, nice and slow."

You try, but still all you manage are shallow sobs that barely get any air into your lungs. Bodhi holds you tighter, trying to comfort you with his presence, cradling your head against the junction of his neck. Burying your face against his skin makes you feel a little better. That way, you can pretend the reason you can't see is only that your eyes are squeezed shut. There's just one problem — pressing your face against him like that makes it even harder to breathe properly.

You can't tell how much time passes, but eventually, your tears slow to a trickle, and finally stop altogether. Bodhi cups your cheek and makes you lift your head a little — to look at you, you assume. Fresh despair washes over you at the realization that you will never get to look at him again, but no more tears will come. You've cried yourself dry.

The feeling of his lips on yours startles you, but it only takes you a second to gather yourself and eagerly kiss back.

"You'll be okay," he mutters against your lips. "I'm here for you."

You decide to ignore the first part of what he said — the part you don't have it in you to believe — and focus on the second half. He's here for you. Yes. And you're eternally grateful for that. You don't know what you'd do without him.

"Everything will be alright," he repeats.

You've let your mental shields down again, and Fonn senses your doubt. "He's right," she says. "Out of all the riders I've had, you're the strongest, smartest and bravest. And you know I've had a bunch of them over the years. This will make things hard for a while, but you'll be okay. I'm sure of it."

"If you say so," you reply, both out loud to Bodhi, and through your mental connection to Fonn. Sitting up straighter, you only now notice that Bodhi has only been holding you with one arm, the other squeezed in between your bodies. Feeling for it, you realize it's in a sling. "You're hurt too."

"Just a broken arm and a few scratches," Bodhi assures you. "No big deal."

Compared to your own injury, you suppose it really isn't. A broken arm is hardly more than an annoyance, painful but temporary. Unlike your eyes, it will be healed soon.

You take a deep breath and try to focus on something else. It's surprisingly easy when you realize you don't know where the rest of your friends are. Gods, you hope nothing happened to any of them.

"What about the others? Is everyone okay?"

Bodhi winces. "Soleil and Liam didn't make it." Two. Two of your friends are dead. Had that happened after you got injured, or had you simply missed it in the chaos of battle? "Violet is hurt, too."

"How bad?"

"A venin stabbed her with a poisoned dagger. Brennan mended her, but she's still unconscious."

"Will she be okay?"

You send a silent prayer to Zihnal that she will — and not just because her life is tied to that of Xaden, who is one of your closest friends. You like Violet. To say you and her are friends would be an exaggeration, but you could be — almost certainly would, if things weren't so complicated. Maybe you actually will become friends, now that the truth is out. If she survives.

"We're not sure. But Brennan seems to think so."

"Good. That's good."

Questions about your comrades thus answered, your thoughts return to your own condition. Is there really nothing that can be done? And if there isn't, then what now?

"Your signet might help you get by," Fonn suggests. She seems to have thought it through already in the hours you were unconscious. "You know how your sound waves reflect off of the objects around you? With a bit of practice I'm sure you can use that to get a mental picture of your surroundings."

You hate having to destroy her hopes in the idea — she seems so proud. But it won't work. "The sound would have to be so loud it would turn everyone around me deaf to get a clear picture."

"Not necessarily. You could use a sound frequency humans can't hear, the way bats do."

"I don't know, Fonn. I have no idea how that works. I don't even know if I can produce ultrasound waves."

"I don't see why not. They're sound waves like any other. There's no reason you should only be able to produce those your human ears can hear. It's worth a try, at least."

You suppose she's right, even if the mere thought exhausts you. A hopelessness is settling in your chest the more you start to accept that your eyesight is truly irredeemable. But you're a rider, and riders don't give up. Even if you wanted to, Fonn wouldn't let you, nor Bodhi.

"Are you hungry?" he asks now.

You nod.

"I'll get you something to eat. Wait here, I'll be right back."

"Bodhi, wait!" If he leaves you alone like this, unable to see, in a place you're unfamiliar with, clueless how long it will take him to walk to the kitchen and back, you'll go mad. You can't stand the thought of being alone in this foreign, permanent darkness. "Let me come."

"Are you sure you don't want to stay in bed and rest a bit longer?"

"Yeah. I'm fine, Bodhi. Well... as fine as one can be after finding out they've turned blind. I don't want to be alone."

Bodhi takes your hand and pulls you to your feet. "Alright. Come on then."

He leads you through what feels like an endless labyrinth of wide, echoing halls and stairways, walking slowly and giving you plenty of warning whenever you get to another flight of stairs or doorway so you don't stumble or walk into anything. It's nerve-wracking to not know where exactly you are, to have to completely rely on another person's guidance. No idea what's around you, if there's anyone else in the room. You thank the gods you have Bodhi by your side. There's no one else in the world you trust as much as you trust him, no one else you would feel safe to blindly follow — literally.

He opens a door, and even before he says, "Here we are", you know from the smell of fresh bread hanging in the air that the room he's leading you into has to be the kitchen. Judging from the sounds, someone is working on one side of the room, but they don't pay any attention to you as far as you can tell. Bodhi gently pushes you into a chair, instructing you to stay there. Your anxiety rises as he walks away, but you reassure yourself with the fact that he's still in the same room. You hear him rummage around just a few feet away, and a minute later he's back by your side and places a plate in your hands.

You want to be close to him, have the reassurance of his touch to prove you're not alone even if you can't see him, so you sit in Bodhi's lap as you eat, his arm around your waist so you know he's there even when he's silent. It's not until you start to eat that you realize just how hungry you really were, and you quickly finish your plate.

When you're done, Bodhi turns your head back toward him and kisses away a crumb from your lips.

Leaning back, you trace your fingers over the scars that now surround your eyes, try to imagine what they look like. Most riders love comparing their scars, competing for whose are the coolest, and you're no exception. "Does it at least look badass?" you want to know from Bodhi. Surely a cool look to make up for the loss of your eyesight isn't too much to ask for, is it?

"Very," Bodhi assures you, nuzzling his face against the side of your neck.

"Well, I guess that's okay then," you decide with a sigh. You will wear the scars with pride, like a badge that tells everyone you've survived a fight against the venin.

"Don't worry," Bodhi says, and you can hear the grin in his voice, "I promise you're still the prettiest girl I've ever seen."

You elbow him, smiling despite yourself. "Shut up."

"Never. Now that you can't see how pretty you are anymore, I'll just have to remind you of it even more often."

The door opens, and two sets of footsteps approach.

"Y/N! You're up!"

You turn your head in the direction of the voice, which you're pretty sure is Imogen's. She and whoever is with her come closer. One of the two has a heavier footfall than the other, so you assume it's one of the guys. Garrick, maybe? It can't be Xaden, because according to Bodhi, his cousin refuses to leave Violet's side for even a second, and the other guys aren't that much bigger than Imogen, so their footsteps wouldn't sound so stomp-y compared to hers.

"Barely conscious again and you two are already all over each other again," someone chuckles, and yep, that's Garrick, all right. No one else teases Bodhi and you as relentlessly as he does.

"I'm just helping her," Bodhi says defensively. He told you on the walk to the kitchen that the others are aware you've lost your vision, which is a relief. Having to tell them yourself, to witness their shock and pity, would have made this even harder to bear.

"Of course," Garrick snorts, but then gets more serious. "How are you coping, Y/N?"

You force a smile. "I'm fine. Still a bit... well... shocked, I guess. But I'll get used to it." You'll have to.

"Tell us if there's anything we can do to help, yeah?"

You nod. "Yeah. Thanks."

Despite how compassionate and helpful everyone is being, you spend most of your time hiding away in Bodhi's room. You've been to Riorson House only twice before and would have felt lost in the unfamiliar fortress either way, but being blind on top of that, you don't feel safe roaming the vast fortress on your own, and therefore refuse to leave the room without Bodhi. Fonn can keep telling you that you will adapt all she wants; until you figure out how to use your signet for echolocation — if that's really possible at all — you're not taking a single step past this room without Bodhi.

Inside his room, you're comfortable enough to walk around without his guidance. He walked the perimeter of the room with you a few times after your little trip to the kitchen, and you quickly memorized the layout. Four steps from the bed to the bathing chamber, five from the bed to the door leading into the hallway. The window is one small step to the right of his desk, the chair of which is pushed in so you can't fall over it. Bodhi ensures every item lying around on the surfaces in his room or the bathing chamber has its place to make it easier for you to find anything.

The first time you try to use your signet to navigate around, you're standing in the foyer with everyone after dinner on your first day at Aretia. The mood is low, the loss of Liam and Soleil weighing down on you all, not to mention the worry about Violet. None of you really know what to do with themselves. Everyone agreed to wait a little longer before burying Liam and Solei and burning their things in the hopes that Violet will wake up first so she and Xaden can be there too, and it's much too early to go to bed, so you all stand in the hall, talking. You're a little off to the side, not much interested in the conversation. The others are talking about what they can do now that you're at Aretia, if they can help somehow while you're here, wondering how long you'll have to stay. You too wonder when — if — you'll return to Basgiath. There's no use worrying about it, though. Until Violet wakes up, none of you are going anywhere. And the others might be able to make themselves useful here, but blind as you are, there's not much you can do, except try to find a way to navigate the world without help.

Step one of achieving that is finding out if Fonn was right about the possibility of using your signet for echolocation. You take a few more steps away from the group, one hand on the wall so you don't lose track of where you are. Might as well test Fonn's theory here and now.

You reach for your power and prepare. It has to be a frequency far above what humans can hear, much higher pitched than any sound you've ever produced before. Careful to put less force behind the sound waves than you do when you use them in a fight, you release them — and immediately realize you fucked it up, the echo useless as the crash of shattering glass distorts it. Bodhi's hand closes around your arm as he takes a few quick steps to the side with you, pulling you out of the shower of glass shards. There must have been a window right next to where you'd been standing.

"Sorry. I was trying to use my signet as echolocation, but, uh. Well."

"Not the best attempt," Garrick remarks as Bodhi plucks glass shards from your hair.

"No."

"Do us all a favor and go outside if you're going to try that again, would you?"

You can't identify the speaker, but nod all the same. "Yeah. Sorry."

You really should have known better than to try it in here — when you'd been a first-year, you had shattered many a window before you learned how to properly control your signet, so you know very well how destructive it can be. But the temptation to try and use it to navigate through this labyrinth of a house was just too big. Well — at least you didn't destroy anyone's eardrums.

Bodhi takes your hand and leads you around the glass shards and outside.

"Was that window very big?" you ask once you're in the courtyard, guilt nagging at you.

"No, don't worry about it. How about we walk up to the valley?" he suggests. "I bet Fonn would be happy to see you, and you can try the echolocation on the way up without destroying anything."

"Yeah. That'd be nice."

The uneven terrain out here is harder to navigate than the halls of Riorson House, but Bodhi is there to catch you should you stumble, so you aren't too worried. At a safe distance from the fortress, you reach for your power again, making sure to aim the sound waves away from Bodhi so you don't accidentally hurt him.

This time, you use a lower frequency, but still above the spectrum of what humans can hear. You feel the sound waves travel through the air, until, somewhere to your right, they reflect off of something, returning to you as an unhearable echo.

So far so good.

But how do you make sense of what the echos tell you? The only thing you're sure of is that whatever it was that your sound waves bounced off of is pretty big. Other than that, it could be just about anything. A boulder? A house? The mountainside? A dragon, maybe? No. You can't tell how far away exactly the object is, but it seems pretty close. Bodhi would have warned you if you were that close to someone else's dragon, and Fonn is quite a way further up the mountain.

"What's to the right of us?" you ask Bodhi.

"Some boulders and undergrowth," he answers.

Okay, so your first guess was pretty close. But guessing isn't going to be good enough. If this echolocation is supposed to be any use, you need to find a way to make it more precise.

"But it is working," Fonn's smug voice sounds in your head.

"Yeah, yeah. You were right. As usual."

"Try again."

You do, this time aiming the ultrasound waves at the ground before you. The echo gives you a vague impression that the path slopes upward relatively steep a little further ahead, but that's it. The picture you can create in your mind based on the data your sound waves give you isn't nearly detailed enough to make out bumps in the ground or other obstacles, and therefore pretty much useless.

"Don't be so pessimistic," Fonn scolds. "You can't expect to be perfect at this on the first attempt. You will figure it out. Now try again."

Again and again you send out sound waves as you climb the path. It gets easier to make sense of the echos the more you do it, your senses attuning to the new way of receiving information, but the problem remains; you just can't get enough details for it to be truly helpful.

You've reached the valley now, and you can feel Fonn close by. Tapping into the power flowing between you, you send another echolocation call in her direction, and find that there are two big shapes looming in front of you. It's not hard to guess who Fonn's companion is; she and Cuir have grown pretty close with how much time they spend together thanks to you and Bodhi. You do it again, trying to memorize how the echo reflecting off a dragon feels. Fonn lowers her head toward you, and you marvel at how much the echo changes at the movement. With enough practice, you could probably detect even the smallest of movements. But determinating the precise distance between you and the dragons — between you and anything — seems to be a lot more tricky. Maybe you can learn to judge it by the time delay between the moment you emit your call, and the moment the echo returns. Or maybe you just haven't found the right sound frequency yet. You sigh, knowing you'll have no other choice but to simply keep trying until you figure it out.

Warm air hits you as Fonn invades your space, and you lean your forehead against her snout. With a pang of sadness you realize you will never get to look at her again, to admire the beautiful shimmer of her green scales in the sunlight or watch her wings flex. Part of you still doesn't want to accept that you will never see again. It feels wrong that there's absolutely nothing to be done about it. But if even mending didn't work, then nothing will; the logical part of you understands that.

"This sucks."

"Yes."

"What, no 'look at the bright side' or 'it could be worse'?"

Fonn huffs. "I may be optimistic, but that doesn't mean I'll pretend everything is fine. Your feelings are perfectly valid."

After three days at Aretia, Violet finally wakes up, much to everyone's relief. It's no surprise when she agrees to fight with the revolution, so now the only question is what the nine of you that remain of the squad that flew for Athebyne will do now. With Violet awake, Xaden is taking responsibility again, which in this moment means he's arguing with the Assembly about whether or not your group should return to Basgiath, while Bodhi, Imogen and you are eavesdropping in the doorway.

Ironically it's you who's keeping lookout with the help of your signet, and really, you detect someone approaching even before their footsteps are audible. You're not skilled enough to get any details yet, though, so you poke Imogen's arm and gesture in the direction of whoever it is.

"It's Violet," she whispers, and waves her over.

Violet's shoulder brushes yours as she comes to stand between you and Imogen, who gives her a quick explanation about the Assembly.

"They're talking about us," Violet realizes after a while.

You nod. "That's why we're listening from the hallway."

"My life is equal to any of theirs," Xaden says inside the meeting room, and you hear rustling of clothes like people have turned to look somewhere.

"Is he pointing at us? He is, isn't he?"

"Yes," Bodhi whispers back as the Assembly starts to panic about Violet having heard their conversation. Louder he says, "If you didn't want her to hear you should have closed the door."

"She cannot be trusted!" one of the Assembly members yells.

"Xaden has already taken responsibility for her," you counter, gripping Bodhi's hand so he can guide you as you all step into the room. That doesn't seem to matter much to the Assembly, though, because the yelling continues back and forth until Violet has had enough of it and speaks up for herself.

Xaden has the last word, of course, telling the Assembly it's not up to them whether you all return to Basgiath and declaring the discussion as done. The four of you file out of the room and make your way up to the valley, where you wait for Violet, who stays back to talk to her brother.

It isn't very long until they show up, and the group gathers near her dragons.

"We have to go back," Violet says, which is exactly what you think too. "No matter what the Assembly says, if we don't go back, they'll kill every cadet with a rebellion relic."

Her brother disagrees, saying you'll all be executed if you go back, and a new argument ensues.

"I vote we go," Garrick says eventually. "We have to risk it. They'll kill the others if we don't return, and we can't cut off the flow of weapons from Basgiath. Who agrees?"

You raise your hand, and feel Bodhi do the same next to you.

While Brennan and Xaden continue to argue about Violet being unable to shut Aetos out, Ciaran says, "Y/N should stay here."

You whirl around and glare at him. Putting together the direction his voice came from with what you perceive through your signet, you can pinpoint his location exactly enough to do so. "No."

"You can't see—"

"Well aware."

"—so you can't fly back with us."

"I don't need to see to ride. Fonn sees enough for the both of us."

It's uncomfortably silent for a moment, but then Garrick carefully asks, "And how do you want to mount her when you can't see her?"

"Like this," you say, and walk straight toward her, following the bond between you.

Using your signet to orientate yourself, you easily find her foreleg. You're still working out how to fine-tune your echolocation to get a more detailed picture, but even as it is, something the size of a dragon is hard to miss. Climbing up her leg is the easiest part — you've done it so many times you could do it in your sleep, blind or not. Reaching her shoulder, you hear the others murmuring among themselves below you, worried you'll stumble or slide off on the way to your seat. But Fonn stands still as a statue, and you get there without trouble.

"See?" you call down to your friends. "Easy. And it's not like I have to do anything other than keep my seat once we're in the air."

"Okay, but can you dismount without falling on your ass?"

You sigh at the lack of faith they all have in you. You've been a rider for the last two years — by now, everything is muscle memory. Jumping from Fonn's shoulder and landing on your feet is as easy as rising from a chair, especially since she would have warned you if there were any obstacles on the ground you needed to avoid.

"Okay, fine. So you can ride, but what are you going to do when we're back at Basgiath?" Eya questions. "Provided they don't kill us, how do you want to take notes in class? And what about challenges? I know you're a good fighter, but if you can't see your opponent..."

"I'll figure it out somehow. The echolocation will help. I still need some practice until I can fully rely on it, but I'll manage." You refuse to stay behind and hide here while the others risk their lives by returning to Basgiath. Wounded or not, it's your right and duty to do the same.

"And I'll help her," Bodhi chimes in. He steps closer, taking your hand. "She can do it."

"If everyone is sure about going, we'll fly as soon as Andarna's awake," Xaden says, putting an end to the discussion.

"We're sure," Garrick answers for all of you.

There's a rustling somewhere off to the side, and Violet talks to her dragon. The smaller one — which isn't quite so small anymore from what you heard — must have woken up. Then more rustling, followed by a sort of stomping sound. You sense movement with your signet, but can't figure out what it is.

"What's going on?"

"The young one is awake," Fonn explains.

"And?"

"And she's... clumsy."

"I... uh... think we're going to have to make some modifications on that harness," Bodhi says beside you. "That's going to take a few hours."

"Get the harness done quickly," Xaden says. "I have a plan, but we have to be back in forty-eight hours for this to work, and a day of that is needed for flight time."

"What's in forty-eight hours?" Violet asks.

"Graduation."

[highfantasy-soul]

omg this tension with Evan and his character arc this season is sooo juicy!!!!

spoilers for episode 9 of mismag season 2

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

At some point, the tension is going to break and I really really hope the entire pilot program sits Evan on his ass and, since he's so concerned about people being plain with their speech, gives it to him like it is. How he's being so SHIT to his friends and at every opportunity spitting in their faces and calling them liars.

My jaw was on the GROUND when they went back to piss-berg and he accused the Quoli (spelling - who knows spelling??) of being purposefully obtuse about why he gave Evan the book and what his sad expression meant. Evan took it as "Evan's life will permanently be so sad and pathetic" and when confronted, the Quoli explained that wasn't the reason, Evan wanted answers and the book has what Evan had wanted when last he came to the island - but the whole reason the Quoli looked sad was inappropriate to tell Evan.

Like, the Quoli straight up said 'Evan, your emotional healing and self-realization has got to come from you - you can't get that shit handed to you by an outside force' and Evan threw a little tantrum.

What really made my jaw drop was when in response to Evan claiming the Quoli thought his life was all super sad and pathetic, the Quoli LOOKED TO THE OTHERS to ask if they thought Evan's depiction of his life was accurate. The others staunchly and firmly said 'no, we don't see Evan's life as just a sad, pathetic never ending cycle of depression - that's not who he is' - the Quoli looked to Evan and asked 'Do you really need ME to explain to you what your friends already know? (and just told you) or do you trust that with more time, you'll understand it for yourself?' (again, telling him - yo, you can't fast track emotional healing, but you got a whole ass support system here for you. To quote Bo Burnham: the love has got to come from YOU)

And EVAN'S RESPONSE WAS: "I don't like you. There could be clarity here and there's not. I'm not sure if that's your fault or just the nature of the world but either way, I don't have to be in a good mood about the imposition of mystery on someone who's just looking for answers."

My jaw DROPPED

Evan just heard his friends give clear and direct answers to the question he was asking and he TOLD THEM TO SHUT THE FUCK UP - THEIR THOUGHTS MEAN NOTHING, THEY DON'T KNOW SHIT AND HE WANTS A GOAT TO TELL HIM WHAT TO FEEL!!!!!!

He's claiming there's mystery and a lack of clarity but EVAN IS THE ONLY ONE OBSCURING HIS VISION!!!!

You can bring a horse to water but you for sure can't make him listen to his friends when they tell him point blank the answer to his question!

If I was Jammer, I wouldn't have just asked Evan if he was ready to go, I would have grabbed that motherfucker by the collar and drug his ass out of there and he'd be getting the cold shoulder for A WHILE

I really hope that's where his character arc is going because I get heated every time Evan insists his friends are shit and liars and 'no, no, they don't understand, I'm the most specialist boy in the whole wide world and my sadness is everything that defines and and I'm going to pretend to hate it, but every time my friends counter it, I'll ignore them and tell them they're stupid liars and retreat back into my comfortable sad boi aura that makes me feel special.'

Like, at some point, something's gotta break, right? I know K has the most to lay out for Evan in that department, but I kinda hope Jammer is right there with them because I don't think Evan will listen to K at all - he'll dismiss her as just a jilted lover who's opinion is the least among the group.

I know it's an improv show and there's no guarantee everything will pay off, but I think it'll be really good if they're able to fit it in.

---

Obviously, this isn't me dogging on Brennan and his choices while playing the game - it's a very VERY compelling and realistic look at the difficult healing journey that people who have gone through (or gone through similar) what Evan has might take.

What I will say though, on a serious note, is that if you find yourself in a relationship with someone who behaves the way Evan does, take care of yourself. Just because they've suffered unimaginable trauma doesn't mean it's ok for them to abuse you. Even if that abuse stems from their trauma, you do not have to accept being treated like that.

You cannot help someone who doesn't want to be helped. You cannot force them to drink the tonic you offer them, accept the help you give, or believe what reassurances you give them.

You cannot tell them how to view themselves - even if you think it's helping them see themselves how you believe they truly are. The belief HAS to come from them, you can't do their emotional labor for them (though many will try to make you and then have you blame yourself when it doesn't work).

Of course leave room for love and meeting people where they are, but trauma does not excuse abuse - you are not a bad person for stepping away from someone who is hurting you even if they're hurting, too.

[marcussour]

EXU Divergence E03 random thoughts and bits

I can only imagine how chaotic was the ad recording session when they made all the ads for EXU:D

Sam Riegel, what the actual fuck? a fucking bug zapper man. What was he thinking man, I mean, shit was hilarious, I'm still laughing, but what is in that man's head

Is it me or the frames and the background are getting greener?

Look at that, Garen gained a feat instead of a level, so that was what the choice was all about

Kicking the shit out of anyone who rejects the notion of kindness? My guys

A grouse you say Brennan? Could it be a Greater Sage Grouse?

Oh, the notion of these remnants from a skeleton army just, wasting away, it's horrific but also, like the idea of nature reclaiming them while they still are alive in their undeadness, there's some kind of sadness to it

Gubbling the Goblin? Great NPC

"Well, if fate just ain't a bitch"

That was a great character moment for Garen, just, finding the block of stone that crushed his arm, and then, transforming it into something better

Oh, Erro

Add him to the long list of "Liam O'Brien characters that have made me cry"

Change is coming

Crokas you magnificent creature

Jasmine's finally rolling good

Seriously, that Nat 20 was so good that not only they found this amazing stash of things, but like, the odds of finding Erro's mother's shield

"This feels as impossible as meeting a moon man of Ruidus", OH YOU

Keep those nat 20s going

Why do good things even happen?

That's right, I actually hadn't make the connection that the bug from the Wildmother drove them there

See, even the hammer was from Garen's history

Agrupnin Vault? AGRUPNIN? Like Cerrit?

HOLY SHIT, THAT'S PATIA'S ORB!!

IT HAPPENED AND IT MATTERED!! HOLY CRAP, I'M HAVING A FLURRY OF EMOTIONS RIGHT NOW AND JUST, SOBBING (dammit Calamity was so fucking good)

Oh, so that's where the episode's name comes from

What's Liana's deal? Obviously something related to the Moonweaver

I like to see Brennan made the reminder not only of Nia's being the one that kept hope alive for everyone, but also, the amount of loss that she's endured, she literally lost people in every episode, of course she would react in that way

Also, Celia's acting, incredible

"Can you be disappointed in something you believe in, or is that a contradiction?"

Yeah, this debate, all around Nia, regarding the nature of faith and belief was, top notch, incredible stuff from both Brennan and Celia

Oh, so Liana was the Moonweaver's avatar

She kept her promise

Not strange, beautiful

I do have to wonder, is Liana the Moonweaver in the same way that the gods reincarnated as mortals in Downfall, or is this something different?

Is this the longer we've heard Crokas talk in a single scene?

Another Jasmine Nat20

Liam and Matt's faces when Alex spoke the name of "the orb of Avalir". Which actually, I think they only just realized that it was Patia's orb, because I don't recall them having the same reaction of recognition when Crokas first got a hold on it

Oh, so it gave Crokas a massive bonus in intelligence, which is why he's now so eloquent. Well played by Alex there

Took Liam a long time to figure it out and then... THE FLURRY OF EMOTIONS ALL AT ONCE

CERRIT AND HIS FAMILY!! PATIA!!!

Wait... Crokas is a monk, and he now has the orb, and the amulet from the Knowing Mentor, is Crokas the founder of the Cobalt Soul? Because we've all assumed since Calamity that the main theory of Patia's orb becoming the first stone, so to speak, of the Cobalt Soul, but seeing it now with Crokas, I'm starting to believe guys

Those nat 20s from Jasmine are the gift that keeps on giving

Downfall reference!

Something eternal wished to know the love of a mortal sibling

"I don't know if I like smart Crokas"

Oh, the Kephkedriel realization, hahahaha, and Garen changing his heart regarding if he likes smart Crokas

The march of the ents treants!

Would you like some magic nuts?

NUTS OF HEALING

DEEZ NUTZ

Man, the notion of a horde of unicorn going full Ride of the Rohirrim against an army of devils, Brennan was cooking there

Jasmine with a 4th Nat 20

One turn and Fiedra's already out

Imagine if Gubbling had been with them when they found the treants... GUBBLING DEEZ NUTZ

And now Nia's out. This fight is brutal considering how low level they all are

See, now Garen's out

"mash the nuts in her mouth", "put the nuts in her mouth"

NOTHING BUT NUT

"Laura Bailey would be so proud"

"the one in your mouth is not the only magical nut in this battlefield"

The unicorns destroying the devils is like, playing Robot Unicorn Attack Heavy Metal (which funny enough I was playing yesterday, because a friend reminded me it existed). Anyway, Blind Guardian's "Battlefield" plays in the distance.

Another horse girl in the CR Family

I AM LOVED BY UNICORNS AND THE MOON.

BY ROAD'S END??!! OH YOU. Look, I wasn't expecting for the origin of Byroden to hit me so much emotionally, but here we are. It's probably the significance and importance of like, being the City that mostly reflects the collaborative nature of the storytelling between Matt, Aabria and Brennan, can't think of another city or town that has gone through different iterations, one building upon the other, like Byroden (and the idea of Brennan being the latest one to put his mark on it while, simultaneously, being the one telling its origin).

On a similar note, I wonder if Torm's Hill will eventually become another settlement

"Would you like some nuts?"; "What are you saying? OH REAL NUTS"

Merfolk!

Talking Key!

Key humor! Brennan is just the best when it comes to these types of characters

"I wish I was still dumb"

To Vasselheim, hopefully with some pudding there

Brennan's inability to remember the "Is it Thursday yet?" will never stop being funny

[moon--mama]

Onyx Storm Ending Thoughts

[Cut just because I don’t want to accidentally show anyone spoilers!]

This is a big list of thoughts I have about a variety of topics in Onyx Storm. Some notes contain theories about the next books.

Who’s Crazy?

In Iron Flame, it was definitely a plot point that dragons don’t choose riders in the same family because that can cause them to go “mad.” Vi gets all worried that Xaden bonded Sgyael, until ultimately he confesses about his inntinnsic ability. In Onyx Storm, this plot device never resurfaces. Instead, all rebellion children conveniently have a second hidden signet through their relics. What a massive gift from the dragons—and that seems to suggest that some members of the Emperyon are working against one another. How did the rebellion children get their relics, and which dragons marked them? When did they develop the secondary powers through their marks? I’m sure there couldn’t be a rune powerful enough to gift them all signets too. Seems unresolved currently, and maybe like a potential plot hole?

Infodump

One big complaint I have seen about this book is the serious barrage of names within the first 100 pages. I also noticed that there was a huge amount of work put into addressing or resolving issues the first two books left uncertain. The bit where Violet asks about channeling and why infantry soldiers wouldn’t do it more often definitely feels like a cork in a plot hole. There is also much more “world building” as they travel outside of Basgaith.

Dreaming

This is definitely something that seems obvious looking back. At the same time, it would have been more obvious if it had happened to more than one character instead of only Xaden in IF. Why are the Irids so horrified about this power? Not just because it can circumvent any defenses…if you die in a dream, do you die in real life? Can she change the way people think about things, like Cat’s emotional manipulation? Do dragons dream? Can Violet create nightmares?

Sloane

When Sloane channeled from Dain to Brennan, she was surprised by Dain’s extra power. More on that in a second. After Sloane’s channeling, the venin marks on Dain’s arm and the marks on the back of Brennan’s neck were gone. I suspect Sloane might be able to purify venin energy by restoring magic…she basically undrained both of them while exchanging their energy. This also clues us in that Brennan likely has some past dealings with venin that we don’t know about yet.

Dain

Violet went through all of that trouble to steal a gemstone that could magnify powers. In the recent bonus chapter from Xaden’s POV, Dain was huffing and puffing up the stairs. What if Dain took the amplifying gem for himself to level the playing field in terms of his relatively mismatched power? They said after the fire it looked different. Could someone have done a swap?

The Emperyon

The peaceful truth of the Irids seems to have something to do with magic and balance. Throughout this book, we saw that different areas of the world have been drained of magic and are inhospitable to dragons. When Andarna brings up Threshing to her kind, they respond with language that suggests it’s actually a sort of human reaping. My theory is this—the dragons, many thousands of years ago, were being threatened because humans discovered how to drain magic from the earth. To stop this, dragons turned humans against one another and shared their powers with the first riders. For the dragons, the riders become a weapon to protect them from the venin. But magic strikes a balance—once riders had powers, the venin had to draw more and more from the earth to compete. The Irids remain feather tails, which suggests that the other breeds of dragons are endlessly transforming themselves into war machines because of their untenable hold over humanity.

Why would the dragons go along with pretending that venin aren’t real for so many centuries, without telling their riders the truth? Because they don’t want riders knowing that they could be just as powerful without their dragons. Venin seem to be the magical balance to the dragons. I wonder if the Irids view the other breeds like the humans view the venin.

Or this could go in a completely different direction and we come to find out that beyond the edge of the map the “gods” are living away from the continent. What if Dunne, Amari, Malik, and all the other gods Vi likes to name drop are actually the first “venin”?

Why, Rhi?

Was the Rhiannon POV for extra tension as we waited for a squad member to die? It happened right at the moment that Violet was confronting T. I have to go back and look again—what happened in that passage that made it so important for that exact moment? The Imogen chapter, sure. It showed that our girl has a hidden second signet and also gave a reason that she might not be making the most sound decisions after the battle. But the Rhiannon chapter showed Ridoc freezing a wyvern to death. Was that so important right at that exact moment? Dain was also fighting throughout that chapter, which seemed like a great time to explain that “extra power” he was carrying.

Marriage

We knew this had to be a breakup book. It’s the third one in the series, and the next will be the evil Xaden arc before a big resolution in the last book. The only thing Xaden held onto in his POV is that he loves Violet, but T said that venin are incapable of love. That suggests to me that Xaden is somehow not fully venin. Or, if that’s too blindly optimistic, it suggests that all venin may not be as lost as previously thought. Jack does know something apparently, so Violet will need to interrogate him to find out. Whatever Xaden has planned, it seems that Sgaeyl is in on it and he asks Tairn to agree as well. Now, unless Sgaeyl broke the bond with Xaden, there will likely be some connection between the dragons at least. The real kicker is that Imogen tells Violet she did what Violet asked her to do—and why would she want her memories erased? So that she can’t remember a painful decision? Or so that she can’t leak a secret if interrogated? Or is that a lie, and Imogen is helping Xaden escape?

My theory is that Xaden has realized he won’t be free from the Sage unless he actually kills him, or someone higher up the chain of command. He’s going to try to play spy for a while and get information on the venin, like Panchek was leaking information about the riders. He marries Violet to give her Tyrrandor, since she sees it as home and has been imagining her life there. She’s never been good at shielding her intentions from him. He also gives her the political responsibility to keep her busy while he starts on whatever he’s doing. He doesn’t need her to “rescue” him because he’s undercover, but he also needs her to be absolutely convincing if they cross paths with any venin inntinnsics. He was planning whatever this was long before this battle—originally he was going to leave Bodhi with Tyrrendor, but Violet was his obvious second choice. That would be a scenario where I could see Violet asking Imogen to wipe her memory.

Grandma

Mira went to visit Grandma, but Brennan thinks that is a bad idea. By going there, Mira was able to find out the truth about Violet’s magical hair. We found out that the other priestesses dye their hair with lye and herbs, but Violet’s is the real deal. Dedicating babies has been outlawed for hundreds of years. What happens when Violet visits grandma and finds out more about her father’s choice? Why was the grandmother so upset? It does seem like a horrible betrayal that her parents tried to “fix” her as a baby, especially as an infant. But they were extremely calculating people who knew the truth about a lot of things—perhaps Violet’s partial dedication to Dunne will give her some extra advantage or connection to the goddess in this next book. I’d imagine she will probably need to go back to the priestess who sent her the temple rock.

Aaric

A rider with true precognition…does that mean that Melgren has turned in some capacity, since there is one per generation for some of these signers? Or are there other riders out there predicting the future? It certainly seems like a troublesome turn of events for a potential future ruler to know the future. Is he seeing only one path? He could potentially identify villains or traitors, manipulate events to meet his private goals, or turn people against each other. And how can Dunne’s priestesses predict Violet’s future too?

Andarna

After being rejected by her kind, does Andarna choose to reject them in turn and rush back to Violet? Or is there another reason they don’t want an irid left on the continent? T says that Andarna was very valuable—is there another something we don’t know about her? She certainly wasn’t gone long enough for years of training unless she learns how to travel in time.

[arainywriter]

this is going to probably be the longest post of my life, and i HATE getting into fandom discourse which is why i don't usually write anything about fandom discourse, but i just want to address some things about our favorite rat grinders so if you want to read, click below

as someone who loves the rat grinders as nuanced antagonists who are also teenagers, i think the rat grinders before they ever joined in on porter and jace's plan were assholes.

i think they were the quiet bullies, the mean people who you never notice until they are mean to you, the ones who seem nice and respectable up close, but talk shit about you the minute you're gone.

i think most of them (kipperlilly in particular) were looking for a reason to be bad. and i know we might not ever get this confirmation, but based off kipperlilly's file and other moments with the trg, i think it's possible this is correct.

they were assholes who needed a reason to be even bigger, more dangerous assholes and most of them took it. and yes, it was either that or be dead, but i want you to know that sometimes that's not even a question. sometimes you don't even care about the other option, you just want to rage.

i think the one time all of them or maybe some of them even thought that what they were doing could be was when lucy died. and that's when i feel bad for them. they had to lock in right there because they all had made a decision, and they all needed to continue it. that's the manipulation.

i know they are kids. they are just teenagers. i work with teens, and guys, let me tell you, some teenagers are assholes. and i don't mean say a funny mean joke asshole, i mean literally going to grow up and be a shitty person asshole. i think some of the rat grinders were those kind of teens.

did they deserve to be redeemed? i think some of them do. i think buddy has a big shot at being redeemed, and i genuinely hated that he died in the last stand and had to make that decision. i think ally is going to try if they can. i think mary ann might be redeemed.

but also, you guys have to remember that this is dnd. i don't think many of you have played dnd before, or if you have you're just really conscientious about everything you do. because as a dm who has played dnd and has made nuanced antagonists, your players are gonna straight up kill them.

brennan knows that. i'm 100% sure he knows that. this isn't scripted. the intrepid heroes aren't thinking about what the fans want every time they play. in dnd, ESPECIALLY in brennan's dnd, it's kill or be killed.

the rat grinder's weren't going to use non-lethal attacks. they were going to kill the bad kids, and they were going to be UNNATURALLY happy throughout it all. they were going to spit in their faces and roast marshmallows on their bodies. they were going to not feel guilty.

sound familiar?

i think the bad kids have been nice to the rat grinders since day one. not kind, nice. they've been polite and nice to them, not going all in until this fight. if this fight happened before the finale, i think the rat grinders would have had more time to be redeemed (ex. see Ragh in season 1 who def would have died in the finale battle if the bad kids hadn't fought him earlier). but the bad kids are stressed and done.

there is no time to be polite and nice when the world is going to end.

i know you liked these characters. i did too. i'm sad to see them go, but even when someone is nuanced and could be redeemed, the person they were a piece of shit to doesn't have to be the one to redeem them. they don't have to be the one to keep them alive and make sure they only get taken the police instead of dead. cause trg would have gone to jail.

aelwyn did. so would they.

people you've wronged don't owe you forgiveness or redemption. trg didn't wrong tbk that bad, but they made them angry, they tried to kill them, and they're probably almost close to ending the world.

i'll miss you rat grinders. you guys were perfect narrative foils, but it was always going to end like this.

now stop being absolute assholes to the intrepid heroes just cause they didn't play how you wanted.

love this fandom, and yeah, d20 get shit wrong sometimes. always make sure to critique your favorite piece of media.

but at the end of the day, this isn't your table to play dnd at. this is theirs and they are having fun. why don't you go and play as the rat grinders in your home game and give them the ending they deserve, or make fanfiction about it?

put your anger into that.

[annemarieyeretzian]

glad you had a good time at the live show!! if you feel like sharing, what was the energy from the audience like? did you meet anyone nice or see any cool cosplays?

anon I know I exaggerate on the daily but it was one of the best nights of my whole entire actual life.

the energy from the audience was wonderful!!! I was really surprised tbh bc for as wholesome as I find the cr cast and cr as a concept the fandom is definitely one of if not the most toxic I’ve ever encountered. but everyone was friendly and happy to be there, so many extremely talented people showed up in INCREDIBLE cosplay (I saw some ashtons and dorians and fearnes that blew my damn mind), and we were all reacting and responding to what was happening without being disrespectful or thoughtless – there was lots and lots of cheering and clapping and sympathetic noises when someone rolled badly or said something painful. I sat between a wonderful man named matt from san diego who’d only gotten into cr a couple years ago but knew the greek theater well and gave me all sorts of pointers for how to get around and a sweet couple who chatted and laughed with us about the characters all evening. I’ve really only ever felt that immediate camaraderie and safety at pride events. it was a really special thing and I’m so glad I went!

and also it was just an incredible show. like. top episode of c3. almost everything I hoped for happened. it was a wild ride. character work! combat! terrifying minis! sudden danger! floaty hot boi! awkward situations! new characters! good rolls! bad rolls! brennan lee mulligan was there! christian navarro was sitting two rows in front of me! matt getting a hdywtdt! the crowd singing along to the intro! travis’ comedic timing! robbie in blue blush! all the women being gorgeous! what more could I possibly want!!!

[kindalikerackham]

alright. I suppose it's time. ty to @melancholic-megafauna for chatting this out with me so I could detangle some thoughts

Let's talk about Zack Addy

So. Here's the thing about Zack. Here's what I think makes his Apprentice arc so emotionally evocative, for better and worse: it's the Gormogon's handwaved logic. Walk with me here.

Like any good mystery series, Bones is a show that is obsessed with the facts of a case. From the very beginning, solving nearly any case takes three components: 1) You need the forensic evidence gathered by the squints, building the physical facts of the scenario 2) You need the social context gathered by Booth (and later Brennan and Sweets) building the social reasoning. This almost always ends in: 3) A confession that pulls the reasoning together, wrapping it up in a nice little bow for Caroline.

The finale of season 3 is different. Zack's confession does not resolve the reasoning. Booth's explanation glides over the specifics of Zack Addy (Instead, he's a "weak personality"). Although Gormogon's reasoning is supposedly airtight to a kid who prides himself on reasoning, we don't get to know what insecurity was exploited. He's just vulnerable. Unspecifically emotionally vulnerable.

This gap, the perpetrator's/Zack's emotional logic, is one that would usually get tidied up by the end of the episode. But it's just painted over.

By leaving it open, amorphous, Bones defies not only it's own formula, but also its characteristic exhaustive search for the whole truth of a scenario.

We do not get to know what the Gormogon said to Zack. We don't get to know!! We don't get to know what flattery got him to miss a step. We don't get to know what grand picture Zack's helping. We don't get to know what contradictions of Zack Addy that Gormogon observed and exploited, save the Spock contradiction (the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one, except when they don't).

This gaping wound of "what got him to this place" serves its primary goal exceedingly well: the team (as well as the audience) is left reeling, struggling to review what they know about him, what they missed, how they could have failed him. It's the bone-deep shock of realizing you lost a family member to a cult right under your nose. In doing this, they honor each character's relationship with Zack. We feel the loss and nonsensicality of it all. In that way, it's a fitting sendoff for a primary character.

At the same time, that gap in logic takes the show's most stereotypical autistic character from a social coming of age arc to a serial killer's accomplice. In one tap dance of logic, he's gone from being a character about the show's thesis (off-putting doesn't mean evil) to a character about the insidiousness of evil. He's gone from a character growing into being a moral man to being both victim and perpetrator. And we, the audience, are no longer there with him.

This gap in the social logic leaves future plot to explore, but it's mostly just set to rest for seasons and seasons. It's a gaping wound without a suture, a part of the team ripped out and left unsewn.

All in all, it was a strong choice to make, and I think that's something to respect. You have to give it that, whether you think it's justified or not.*

*I started thinking about this bc this was the point my mom and I stopped watching Bones as it came out. Zach was a really important character to a parent who worked as a tech with autistic kids and had a probably autistic kid (me) at home. It's personal to me.

As a caveat about whether it's justified, it's pretty obvious that this arc is rushed, and there's a few different reasons I know about for it. The writers strike truncated the season, Zach's actor wanted to leave, and the Gormogon plot had an apprentice betrayal arc they were building in (one that they could twist to fit Zach). That in mind, it's impressive that they pulled this out of their hat.

[callsign-rogueone]

resson (garrick's version)

Garrick Tavis x reader a Garrick and Angel chapter! I need to re-number these at some point, but this happens between 1 and 2 — some of the events at Resson, and them going back to Aretia. written in Garrick’s pov, since Angel isn’t exactly conscious at the moment... words: 2.9k 🏷️: fourth wing spoilers, major character death, canon injury, allusions to hypothermia, writing as Garrick is hard but I tried, poor boy isn’t sure she’s gonna survive this (we know she does, since I wrote this out of order, but still), he takes good care of his girl, Sweetheart makes an appearance along with Darling Spark and Love, somewhat proofread but not really. I’m sorry this took me so long, but here it is. better late than never?

There’s a red dragon lying on the ground, wounded. It’s either Cosa or Deigh, but I can’t tell from this far out. Deigh, I realize when I’m close enough to see his horns, and he isn’t moving. If he’s dead, then Liam only has a few minutes left.

I make the jump too quickly, scrambling to get my feet underneath me, but I’m too late. Liam’s gone. His girlfriend is sobbing into his shoulder, Bodhi attempting to soothe her through his own tears. He has one arm held to his chest, the other rubbing her back gently. 

But there’s a second body slumped against Deigh’s side, and my heart nearly stops when I realize who it is. 

“Angel,” I breathe, kneeling down beside her, brushing my hands over her cheeks. She’s cold to the touch even in the July heat, her head lolled down onto her chest and her body completely limp, but she’s still breathing, thank the gods. I couldn’t bear to lose both her and Liam on the same day. It would destroy me. 

A quick inspection and confirmation from Tab tell me that she’s not wounded — a few scratches here and there, and some tender points that will be bruised tomorrow, but nothing major.

“She tried,” Bodhi tells me quietly. “There was nothing she could do, but she tried anyway, and…” He doesn’t finish the sentence, knowing that I can see it as well as he can.

I’ve seen her drained before, completely exhausted after a long day mending in the infirmary, unsteady on her feet and ready to flop facedown onto my bed and sleep it off, but this is several steps past that. It’s clear that she’d used absolutely everything she had in trying to keep Liam and Deigh alive, and I don’t know how long it will take her to recover. 

If she does recover, I think for a single second before crumpling the thought up like a piece of parchment and shoving it deep, deep down. She’s going to live. She’s going to recover. She has to. There is no way that the two of us could ever be separated like that. 

I have to do something, but what? Is sleeping it off followed by a giant bowl of pasta going to be enough this time, or does she need to see a healer? Could the healers even fix this? Is there a cure for burnout other than rest?

“The Lieutenant Colonel would know. He’s a mender as well.” 

Brennan would know. Him or Colonel Colbersy would be the best bets — but the idea of taking her back to that hellhole school right now is enough to light my blood on fire. Graduation is in less than a week, and I know they aren’t going to give her any time to recover before they transfer her across the continent to gods-know-where and expect her to start working.

I hook an arm under her knees, another behind her back, lifting her up from the dirt and gathering her into my lap. She’s too drained to speak, to open her eyes, but I feel a little flare of recognition from her as she leans into my chest — she knows it’s me. She’s still in there. 

I tuck her head into my shoulder, stroking a hand over her disheveled braids, because that’s all I can do right now.

Our little sister has silently slotted herself between me and Bodhi. She leans her head against my shoulder, sniffling quietly. She looks unharmed, but there’s dried blood coating her nose and upper lip, and her cuticles are shredded; she’s been peeling them since we left the school, as a nervous habit. Something’s bothering her, but I haven’t had time to ask what — though I have a suspicion that it has something to do with that little joker in Violet’s squad.

And now this. Liam had become her best friend, the first person her age that she was truly comfortable with, and now… I put my other arm around her, squeezing gently. She’s trembling, crying as quietly as possible — even in a situation like this, she doesn’t want to make a sound.

“I’m so sorry, kid,” I say softly, as if that will make it hurt any less.

She leans into me a little further. “Is she going to be okay?”

“Yeah,” I promise her, “She’s gonna be fine in a day or two. She just needs rest — you know how it is.”

I pray to every higher power that exists that I’m right — that Angel will be fine, that our sister won’t lose yet another loved one. She’s finally coming out of her shell, starting to let people in, but I’m afraid that losing Liam might send her right back to square one: the girl I’d met six years ago, who was too scared to speak. I didn’t hear her voice for a week and a half — only timid nods or shakes of the head for yes or no questions.

My eyes widen as I see Xaden approach, a limp-looking Violet in his arms. She’s wheezing, black blood trickling from a wound in her side.

“It has to be poison,” Imogen reasons, sounding more torn up about this than I thought she’d ever be. “Look at it! We have to get her back to Basgiath. Nolon might be able to help.”

“That’s a twelve-hour flight.” Xaden’s voice rises. “And I’m pretty sure her arm is broken.”

Is she going to make it that long?

“There’s somewhere closer,” he says quietly.

“You can’t be serious,” Ciaran interrupts.

“You’ll put everything at risk,” I warn.

Tairn roars in dissent.

“I wouldn’t say that again,” Imogen mutters, “or he’ll probably eat you. And don’t forget, if she dies, there’s a damn good chance Xaden does, too.”

“I’m not saying he shouldn’t, just reminding him what the stakes are.”

“I don’t give a fuck what happens to me!” Xaden yells. “We’re going, and that’s an order.”

Bodhi agrees without protest. “No need for orders, man. We’ll save her.” 

“You’re sure about this?” Imogen asks.

“Stop fucking asking him that,” I snap without thinking. “He made his decision. Support him or get the fuck out, Imogen.”

“And it’s a bad one.”

Bodhi turns his head to glare at him. “When you have a hundred and seven scars on your back, then you get to make the fucking decisions, Ciaran.”

Rocks crunch under a pair of boots as another of our friends approaches. She looks utterly defeated — her face, neck, and hair are splattered with wyvern blood, and the makeup she’d so carefully applied for the Reunification Day party is running in dark trails down her cheeks, her eyes swollen and red from crying. She’s unusually quiet as she speaks. “X is right. We need to lie low for a few days — get our wounded help, and…”

And bury Liam. Her little brother. 

A wave of guilt floods through me. I had been too focused on Angel to fully process the fact that Liam, Xaden’s little brother, who may as well be mine too, is gone forever. We have to bury him tomorrow. I’ll never hear him laugh again, never receive another one of his little wood carvings… Oh, fuck. Sloane. She’d been counting down until her conscription day, when she could see him again, but now she never will. 

“It’s settled, then,” another soft voice says — Bodhi’s wife. “We’re going home.”

Nobody dares to disagree with her.

I give our sister one last gentle squeeze before I rise from the ground, Angel in my arms, and carry her the hundred yards to the rest of the riot, who have been keeping watch over us.

Tab lowers his head, mournful and dejected. He must regret not cutting her off, blocking her out from his magic before she overdid it. She’d never forgive him if he had interfered with her efforts to save Liam, but if he had, she might still be lucid. 

It’s absolutely terrifying seeing her like this. 

Chradh nods in understanding before I can ask, lowering himself flat to the ground so I can climb up while still holding her. I know it’s a major no-no for a dragon to bear anyone but their rider, but all of ours understand the gravity of the situation — a few of us aren’t in condition to fly, and will need to double up with someone who is.

She’s still freezing cold, and I know that the altitude and wind on our flight home won’t help. I sit her up in front of me, removing my flight jacket one sleeve at a time. 

It’s like dressing a doll — she’s completely pliant in my arms, and I have to keep moving her to get the jacket on, guiding her hands through the sleeves and buttoning it closed on top of her own. I pull her goggles up so the wind won’t hurt her eyes, and turn her head to tuck her face into my neck. 

Chradh wraps an invisible band of power around us to help keep her in place. 

“Just hang on for me, Angel,” I murmur, my lips brushing her hairline. “We’re taking you home.”

———————————————

Every step up the staircase sends a wave of pain up my left leg. I fucked up my knee in my running landing, too panicked to think straight once I realized that one of the dragons was wounded so severely.

I can worry about myself later. Right now I need to get her in bed, and prepare her for Brennan’s assessment.

My magic works to open the doors here, too, so I don’t have to worry about dropping her while I get us inside. I sit in my desk chair and prop her up in my lap, the wood creaking under our combined weight. 

I get her out of my flight jacket, then hers, and assess the state of her base layers. I decide to get her out of her leathers, at least — those are terrible to sleep in, and she’s always been picky about “outside clothes” on the bed. 

She was cold to the touch even with the extra layers, but without them I realize exactly how icy her skin is. I leave her with shorts and a tank top, but I pull back the bed covers with one hand and lay her down, piling her with blankets to make up for the loss. As soon as I drape them over her body, I’m rewarded with a small sign of life — she burrows deeper into the covers, seeking warmth.

Maybe warming her back up will be enough to get her lucid again, like this is some kind of hypothermia. But how did that happen? It’s July, the warmest part of the year across the whole continent.

I drag my desk chair over to the edge of the bed, taking a seat. It’ll be a while yet before Brennan can check on her — it’s going to take a small miracle for him to get the poison out of Violet’s system. 

She’s turned her head away from me, so I occupy myself with fixing her braids. They’re undone in places, big strands pulled out by the wind. I untie the leather band at the bottom, setting it on the nightstand and gently undoing the plaits. 

I’ve been practicing, but I’m not skilled enough to do the style she usually wears. I settle for detangling as best I can with just my fingers, and gathering it all into a low ponytail. It’s a small comfort to see her looking less disheveled. This way I can almost pretend that there’s nothing wrong, that she’s just taking a nap in my bed on a winter afternoon, piled up with blankets. 

“Can you ask Tab to keep an eye on her while I shower?”

“He won’t be taking his eye off of her anytime soon.”

If Tab can still feel her, that’s a good sign, I guess. I’ll take anything normal as a good sign right now. I cast one last long glance at her before I slip into the bathroom, keeping the door open just in case.

I look like shit after nearly two full days of flight and combat, but a shower and some real sleep should help. The water here is warmer than at Basgiath — though that’s a very low bar — and the pressure isn’t terrible. It’s almost nice. It would be a welcome reprieve, if I wasn’t so worried about her and Violet and all of our friends. I’m pretty sure Bodhi broke an arm back there, and our sister looked so shaken… she’d disappeared as soon as we got home. I need to check on her in the morning.

I haven’t heard anything from the bedroom, which is either a good sign or a bad one, but when I peek my head out, I can see the pile of blankets still rising and falling with her slow breaths. I dry off as quickly as I can and begin the search for clean clothes.

My old pajama pants are loose enough to accommodate the extra inches I’ve put on my thighs in three years as a dragon rider, but I can’t fit my arms through the sleeves of the first shirt I find. I make a quick modification with one of my smaller knives before tugging it over my head and settling back down beside her.

There’s a soft knock on the door.

Brennan looks absolutely exhausted, but he waves a hand at me in dismissal as I rise from the creaking desk chair and offer it to him. Stubborn fucking Sorrengails. 

He examines her for a minute, his eyebrows drawn together the way I’ve seen them when he’s looking over a battle map as he checks her pulse. Her breaths become even slower as he wraps his hand around her wrist, her body relaxing. 

“How long has she been like this?”

“Since we left Resson,” I answer. “She didn’t wake up on the flight.”

He blows out a breath. “I can fix the smaller stuff, but I don’t know what made her this way. I’ve seen burnout before, but this isn’t it.” He pauses, and his voice is strained as he continues. “It’s like she siphoned half her life away to try to save him.”

I can’t help but wince, knowing how his friend had done just that in the battle of Aretia five years ago — only Naolin had given up not just half his life, but the whole of it. And him being reminded of that on the day that he’d finally reunited with his little sister, who is currently residing on Malek’s doormat… 

I break the silence after a moment. “She’s not a siphoner, though. She’s a mender, like you.”

“That explains it, I guess. The loss of Deigh’s power is what ended Liam’s life, but we can’t mend magic. There’s nothing she could have done, but she kept trying anyway, and it was too much for her.”

Again, he sounds pained. 

I tread carefully with my next question. “Have you seen it happen before? A rider lose their dragon?”

“Yes. I tried as hard as I could to save her, but it was futile. I felt utterly useless.”

“How long did it take you to recover?”

He shakes his head. “I didn’t need to. I was fine, just a little shaken.”

I exhale. “She’s always had issues with her signet. It’s easy for her to overwork herself, but I’ve never seen it this bad.”

He lets go of her wrist, setting her arm down gently, and I hear a soft sound of discomfort leave her lips. Why is she in pain? He’d just mended all of her visible injuries away, and I didn’t see anything under her clothes when I’d gotten her into bed. Maybe it’s the sudden cold — being mended always feels warm, and she’s still freezing.

“I’ll keep an eye on her,” I say softly. “Thank you.”

He nods, looking ready to head up a flight to his own room and collapse.

The sun has set, the warm dusk we’d landed in now replaced with dark night, and I’m absolutely exhausted. I lift up a few of the half dozen blankets, slotting myself in next to her. My entire body relaxes as soon as I’m horizontal on a real mattress, the pressure taken off of my legs. 

She curls into me with a soft sigh, and it takes an effort not to flinch at how cold she still is even through the layers of blankets, but I wrap my arms around her, trying to warm her up. “Angel?” I ask softly.

No response — not even a hum. How long is she going to be like this?

“I love you,” I say quietly, even though it’s doubtful she can hear me. “Get some rest, okay? You need to recover. You have to recover. I need you. We all need you.”

Another sleepy sigh as she shifts over a little, resting her head over my heart like she always does. It’s probably just muscle memory from sleeping like this every night for years, but part of me wonders if it’s her telling me that she loves me too, and that she’ll be okay.

“Sleep,” Chradh encourages. “We’ll watch her.”

I don’t respond, my eyes already closing. Shitty circumstances aside, it’s nice to be home again, curled up with her in my — our — own bed, away from the demands of that infernal school. 

We can sleep as late as we want tomorrow morning.

[jasmine-tea-biscuits]

Some Long Live Evil Appreciation

Long Live Evil by Sarah Rees Brennan has a tragically small fandom. I guess I’ll pop out from the abyss like a screaming and starving ghoul bent on taking someone down with me because I JUST FINISHED IT HALF AN HOUR AGO AND I AM DESPERATE FOR CONTENT!!!

This will be spoiler free. I just need to ramble.

Anyway, it’s about Rae who’s dying from cancer when she’s given a chance to stop her death by going into her favourite fantasy novel. The only catch is that she lands in the body of the villainess and now has to avoid that horrible ending. Oh and she has to somehow scheme her way to a magical flower that only blooms once a year and can only save her that one night.

As someone who loves villainess isekai anime, I can confidently say this feels like a love letter to it. We’ve got our girl accidentally befriending and making characters fall for her in her attempts to avoid her doom! On top of that, we have her driving the plot more and more off track as she tries to fix it! We even have antics so cartoonish that they could be cringe, but they circle back to ridiculously iconic!

It’s riddled with pop culture references that will age it but I Do not care for it is wonderfully cheesy and our protagonists definitely need a break from all the blood and gore.

I also really love the side characters. They don’t just mindlessly follow Rae, and most take a while to warm up to her actually. But the back stories and alternating POVs we get in contrast to Rae’s reader knowledge? CHEF’S KISS! PlUS THERES QUEER REP!!

And the love story? Seems like there might be a love triangle at first but it’s made very obvious very quickly that there isn’t one. That medieval alpha male mf never stood a chance!

The love interest is unhinged in the best way possible. In the doesn’t save the world, but would burn it to save you kind of way! In a kill every last one of them kind of way that reminds me of my one and only Dimitri from Fire Emblem. Seriously, if you’re like me and seeing him feral post time skip unlocked something in you, this book has the dude for you!

Anyway, I gotta say that I really relate to Rae. I haven’t experienced illness like her.”, but when I suddenly became disabled as a teenager, I felt similarly angry when people asked me to show some grace and understanding to those who treated me like a charity case or something to be discarded when it became too hard for them to watch. When she talked about trying to hold back emotion to keep from pushing more people away, I was silent taking it in. Rae’s fury at being called a bitch for her anger healed a part of me. And her using that to fuel herself? I CANNOT EMPHASIZE HOW CATHARTIC IT WAS ENOUGH!

If any of this caught your interest, you should go read it. I NEED PEOPLE TO SHARe THIS OBSESSION With!!!

I’m off to brainstorm fanfic while I wait for the second book.