#solid-horned

[mikashida]

more and more miles from shore every year

[intergalactic-garbage]

true facts about little alex horne

he can fit a penny in the gap between his teeth

has exactly 30% fewer bones than the average person

comes into work with his sandwiches cut into fingers, because he believes they "taste better"

tina turner once described him as "simply the best", and in a separate conversation, "a complete arsehole"

goes around the supermarket following people he thinks look cool, and when they pay and throw away the receipt, picks it up, and buys what they bought

nibbles and scurries his way through life like a long human rat

has his mantra going in his head at all times, and it's "absoluta pulsis voluptatem" (absolute driving pleasure)

when naked, looks like a weird, ill monkey

has crumbs in his beard dating back to the 90's

when it comes to childcare, he doesn't think his wife rachel "pulls her weight"

he doesn't really like women, because he thinks they've gotten a bit "too chopsy of late"

walks like a weird victorian clockwork toy soldier

is the answer to the question "what happens if you throw chunks of pork at a revolving carwash brush?"

his new years' resolution was "bringing back the patriarchy"

his first french kiss was with his second cousin jacob, now a legal underwriter on the isle of man

he doesn't think the NHS is very good, and according to him, some nurses are "lazy"

cries every time he watches free willy, and frees his willy every time he cries

has a separate bank account that his wife doesn't know about

as a child was so irritating, that his mother paid for "a barrage of medical tests"

he's scared of three things: slugs, small spaces, and women being allowed to vote

was once chased and bitten by a peacock in a day he refers to as "the day [he] lost [his] children's respect"

thinks all primary school teachers are the scum of the earth

thinks the refuge team that collects his bins every week are "stupid" and "don't deserve to be paid"

thinks climate change is a hoax propagated by "liberal pussies who don't know how to party"

sometimes deliberately revs his engine in traffic, because it makes him feel "like [he's] in charge of all women"

"[doesn't] know much about politics, but [he thinks] poor people should stop moaning and pull their flipin' fingers out"

is the answer to the question "what does a corpse look like when a corpse continues to grow hair post-mortem?"

his father has only ever given him one christmas gift, a beautifully wrapped piece of welsh slate, that had one solitary word engraved upon it. that word? toad.

until the age of 14 thought his penis was an eleventh finger, with the specific purpose of putting stamps onto letters

when he was young, used to practice kissing on his grandfather's pet carp "mr. suckles"

his slogan is "friendless oddball"

if it was up to him, scotland would be physically sawn off from the UK, and floated into the north sea. horne stated that "we'll soon find out how much they want independence when all they've got to eat is shortbread"

when his wife shouts at him, he whispers "get lost" under his breath

his children call him "little alex horne"

once got dragged 11 miles through the open country side by holding on to what he believed to be a horse's "fifth leg"

makes up tasks in his jacuzzi, and knows he's got a "good one", because "[his] bald ferret breaks the surface for air"

if he sees the pilot of any plane he boards is a woman, he immediately leaves

once hospitalized himself by doing high kicks to toxic by britney spears

🎶 he says he's over six foot but he's five foot four 🎶 little alex horne! 🎶

without hair would be as physically featureless as one sausage

ran away with a circus, but was sent back home, because he was annoying everyone and upset the animals

at some point nearly every day, he cries

once did a poo in a paddling pool

pretty woman is his favourite film

collects teapots that look like cottages

has no respect for the military, and if any soldier came up to him in public, "[he] could easily have them coz they're all stupid"

his head is shaped like the rubber of a pencil, and his body is shaped like a pencil

statistics are his foreplay and spreadsheets his post-coital cigarette

his wife keeps a pocketful of treats for when he remembers to "do toilet outside"

is single-handedly keeping the plastic shoe industry alive

once wet himself on a train when he was 30

hasn't bought car tax or insurance since the 90's, because he thinks it's an example of "big government"

[the-dragogirl]

it's been uhhh.. *squints* like.. more than a year since I last posted about my Metal Gear Solid journey.

the hyperfixation is well and alive, boys (gender neutral)!! I can safely assure you that an entire sketchbook has been filled with sketches of random MGS characters... can't scan any of them but I'll gladly give you some digital w.i.p.s I've made. :)

(let me know if you wanna see more of them please and thank you)

[misssmeat]

30 Things I Learned Before Turning 30

In celebration of my next decade, I took some time to document some of the obvious and not-so-obvious pieces of wisdom I've collected in my life. I wrote this as an exercise to celebrate my own growth, but I thought I would share it.

I spent over half of my 20s with all of you, here on tumblr. It was a messy decade spent figuring out who I am, what I want, and how to create the life I dream of. I'm ending my 20s happier, more sure of myself, and excited for the future. Thanks for joining me on the journey.

Here's to the next decade of being older. Wiser. Sexier. Here's to 30.

Love and Relationships

Give it three dates if you’re on the fence about someone. Love at first sight (or first date) is rare.

If he’s significantly older and makes you feel special for being “mature for your age”… there is something very wrong. He’s gross, and I promise you’ll see it one day and be furious for your past self.

Co-dependency is not love. 

Your partner is not your therapist. Do not treat them as such. 

Holding hands is a superior form of intimacy. 

Sometimes love isn’t enough. 

As annoying and cliche as it is, self-love is the most important love you’ll discover. 

Be intentional in your relationships - intentionally make time, intentionally show care, intentionally respect your partner, intentionally adore. (This applies to friendships too.)

Strong relationships are built on strong foundations. Communication, trust, kindness.

Life is made of millions of tiny moments. The tiny moments make the difference more than the grand gestures. 

Sex and Kink

Sex is supposed to be fun. Too many people forget this. It’s adult playtime. Don’t take yourself too seriously. 

Your limits are sacred. Never let anyone convince you otherwise. 

There is no such thing as a “true” sub/Dom/etc. Do what makes you happy. It’s really that simple. 

Confidence is 75% of success in the bedroom. I never truly know what I’m doing, but if I act like I’m the hottest girl on earth… my partner goes nuts for me regardless.

Keep water near at all times.  

Bondage is much more physically taxing than you might imagine. A rope buddy taught me to keep chocolate near for the sugar boost after physically taxing positions. 

Sometimes things get messy. Don’t worry, it’s normal. 

Give feedback and be open to feedback. We are all different, so there should be a learning curve with each partner.

Butt stuff hurts a lot less if you train your muscles slowly over time. 

If you’re not in the mood, don’t feel pressure to force it. Respect what your body is telling you. Likewise, respect your partner if they aren’t in the mood. 

Everything Else 

Ladies - unlearn creating yourself for the male gaze. It’s overrated.

Western cooking isn’t always superior. See the fried egg in France vs. Hong Kong. I’ll die on this hill.

Your worth and value are not tied to anything you’re offering or producing. Existing is the most radical thing we can do. 

Find a hobby that doesn’t require the internet. I found painting and reading. 

Your energy is valuable. Be selective in where and how you invest it.

When washing your hair, go through your shampoo routine twice before conditioning.

Go on walks. Touch grass. Feel the sun on your skin.

When in doubt, adopt a cat. 

Go to therapy. No matter where you are on your mental health journey, therapy will probably be a game changer.

Do not underestimate the power of forgiveness. Holding onto anger is not as empowering as I once believed it was.

And one last bonus thought: no matter what, always make space for joy.

❤️.

[nono-uwu]

Wife :)

Og card

[androgynouspenguinexpert]

congruent of d'deridahn

[doostyaudi]

Whopps. Completely forgot to show off my human design for V5

Hes got that impractical sci-fi armor but it's ok cuz hes pretty 👍

Also some obligatory GabrV5 cuz. Im a bit obsessed with them

[cocolacola]

ejecta

+ funny miscellaneous

[newtafterdark]

From your party being very intrigued by your horns (after semi-regrowing them after a magic flareup due to rage, and your party having only known you without them before that), to you thinking if you should start decorating them again like you used to... only for you to have to saw them off again to keep yourself and your party save from racist bigot cops with murderous intend.

[headfullof-ideas]

All right, i decided on a whim to share a rough reference i use in my head of what teenage Ant looks like. Depending on what story or AU I’m writing a teenage Ant for, his appearance changes, but for this one we’ll say it’s my ‘canon’ version of him. Rather, the teenage Ant I have in my head following my internal interpretation of the canon timeline as it takes forever for new seasons to come out, but that I make sure to update as we get new seasons. Also involving a lot of my headcanons for him, most of which explain certain things about either his appearance or mental health, cause our boy is TRAUMATIZED.

Ant is about sixteen to seventeen here, the typical age for teenage main heroes. Except he has already been through being the main hero and is a little sick of it. Or maybe a lot sick of it. A few years prior to where he is in the drawing, the prophecy ends. After defeating the Monumentials and saving the earth from what would have been a devastating rampage, Ant tried to pretend that everything was okay and normal for a while. You know, blocking all of his trauma and acting like nothing’s wrong as is the norm from teenage protagonists. After a while though, Ant realizes that his lifestyle was never really normal to begin with. Ant has a bit of a metal breakdown, not on par with the one Alpheus had or anything, but he has a meltdown when trying to go back to his normal life fails and he realizes he wants a break from everything. From all the families missions and all the adrenaline they experience on a weekly basis and all the danger he hasn’t realized he’s experienced for a majority of his childhood. Fontaine feels guilty for being so proud of her little brother wanting to do normal, not-submarine things, and so Ant starts his own little journey of doing things beyond the titanium hull of the Aronnax.

Now that I’ve gotten the mini bio, or whatever that was, done, time for the headcanons!

- Ant joined his sister in begging their parents to let them try land school, and ultimately Kaiko and Will caved, due to everything the family had just been through. Fontaine went straight to high school while Ant did a year of middle school due to age before moving to high school, with both kids using Kaiko’s maiden name at Ants request. This was because while Ant didn’t hate being a Nekton and was proud of his name, he didn’t want to attract any sort of attention at all. Fontaine wasn’t immediately thrilled by it, but didn’t complain either.

- Ant ended up growing his hair out a bit, and started wearing a beanie as well. He’d alternate how he wore his hair, sometimes keeping it back but usually having it in a sort of half-up half-down style. Mostly because he didn’t want to try to hard with his appearance, and wanted to try something a little different to what he used to wear all the time. (I usually draw adult Ant with longer hair too)

- Ant got his ears pierced when he was fifteen, deciding on a whim that he wanted to. Fontaine was the one who ultimately took him, leaping at the opportunity. He still wears his communicator all the time, but Fontaine convinced him to try a few other bracelets as well.

- After Ants meltdown, he decided to try and separate himself from most of his childhood as much as possible. Not necessarily in a negative way, but more in a manner of trying to find stuff outside of submarine life. Ant felt he didn’t have too many hobbies outside of anything that came in handy with working and living on a submarine, and so started trying out all sorts of activities to find other things he liked to do. This was another thing Fontaine was eager to jump on board with. He still goes out in the Shadow Knight, and he still loves swimming and working on the Aronnax with Kaiko, but he doesn’t spend nearly as much time doing these things as he did when he was younger.

- Another aspect about Ant trying to branch away from submarine life is his clothing. He didn’t wear casual clothes too much as a kid, almost always wearing a wetsuit. As an older teenager, Ant doesn’t wear his wetsuit too much anymore. He has one, and he does use it, but not nearly as often as a kid. He tries to focus on finding a style he likes, which Fontaine is also ecstatic about. Doesn’t always agree with what he picks out, but she’s super excited nonetheless

-As Ant gets older, he starts to develop some more of Kaiko’s features. Ant always felt, to me, like someone where you knew he was Kaiko and Wills kid, but you never saw any similarities until you put him right in between his parents. As Ant gets older though, he starts to lose baby fat and looks a little more discernibly like his parents, especially Kaiko whom he subtly looks more like in regard to facial structure. (Fontaine is, like, a perfect blend of her parents in my opinion. Ant somehow looks exactly like and nothing like either of his parents in the show)

- Ant starts to develop a bit of muscle as a teenager. He’s not Will, and never does get that muscular, but he’s a teenage boy and that sort of thing just tends to happen to teenage boys. He’s still fairly active as well, which helps. His hair also gets a bit thicker because of puberty, and a tiny bit wavy. Not enough to be actually noticeably though, at least until it gets humid out.

- Ant didn’t grow too much between the ages of twelve and fourteen, but then started shooting straight up at fifteen. Will jokes that it’s all the growth spurts he missed in his early teenage years hitting him all at once. This however leads to Ants usual perfect balance due to life on sea being royally screwed up as his center of balance continues to change makes him abnormally clumsy over the next few years until he stops growing so fast at eighteen/nineteen. Being so clumsy leads to a few accidents, like the one that gave him a scar in his eyebrow. Ant usually doesn’t tell people how he got the scar, cause it’s embarrassing to him after spending so long on the ocean. During a summer between school years, the Nektons were on the Aronnax, and Kaiko just gently tipped the Aronnax into a dive. Nothing Ant shouldn’t have been unable to adjust to with ease. Instead, he slid on the floor, lost his balance, and went tumbling down the hall and crashing into a random room with an unfortunate door open where he wound up twisting his ankle, breaking his nose, and cutting his eyebrow deep enough to scar.

- In line with the prior note, Ant has some scars from all the adventures his family has been on. Fontaine does as well, and these only drive home how desperately they want to experience some sort of normalcy, despite still loving their life on the Aronnax.

- Ants clothing style tends to reflect his mental state; how well he’s doing, if anything’s bothering him, that sort of thing.

I’m sure i have plenty other headcanons, but my brain’s struggling to focus on anything new, so here ya go.

[sunnydinthereal]

I HATE his design

[guqin-and-flute]

What if the Nie Clan rode big ol mountain goats. Cause mountains.

[feline-evil]

☮ KAZUHIRA

Plain version :3

[cappurrccino]

oh, to be a tiefling...

[nono-uwu]

First oc post i am shaking crying throwing up for multiple reasons and also anxious as hell- anyways, meet the man, the failure disaster gay, the forever doomed ginger(derogatory/lh)

I forgot to add his birthday omg, it's march 13th

Lore utc (i wrote a lot lmao), the uh post ch 134 stuff will be elaborated on later (or if asked. Actually, ask me anything about him. And my other oc's once they're posted. Please. I will answer in great detail. I also need a distraction. Pls.)

So basically, among the first few vampires (a 4th progenitor to be percise) turned by Shikama was a woman who showed great potential for spells and magic. She had a loving husband and child which she tragically lost in an accident. Upon turning into a vampire, her family was still the only thing on her mind. She accepted to help Shikama in his endeavors to revive Mikaela since she hoped she could revive her own family in the proccess. Unfortunately it didn't work. Disillusioned, she abandoned vampire kind and started searching for the possible reincarnation of her beloved husband, whom she may be able to have a child with and have family again.

Fast forward a a lot, and I mean a lot, of years and she arrived in 60s japan. None of the people she had hope for turned out to be the reincarnation of her late husband until that fateful day. She encountered a (rather pathetic may I add) man in his late 20s and it was like a miracle. The woman cornered the man in disbelief and from this awkward first meeting blossomed true love. Then everything went to shit lmaooo

The first problem was that the mans family didn't approve of the woman. Tough this didn't stop their love. Next was the issue of bearing a child, something that a vampire simply can't do. Well, an ordinary one but this woman was anything but ordinary. By some impossible miracle she bore a child. A biological child. (GIRL HOW?? We will never know and frankly, i don't want to think about it💀)

The child was, as expected tbh, kind of a disaster. Already born with pointy ears and sharp fangs. The child needed both human food and blood to properly sustain themselves. Drinking blood outside of their family would permanently stop their aging. Despite this, the couple was overjoyed. (And then named their child "mistake" bc that would help /s.) They named him "Machigai". Why tho?? I dunno man something along the lines of "a mistake but the best mistake of their life" bruh

So after Machigai was old enough to walk, but not old enough to remember, the mother diappeared, leaving father and child behind. The father did his best to raise such an... extraordinary child but it was understandably kind of impossible. Machigai grew up alone and isolated from his peers. He was always wearing a hood of some kind and rarley opened his mouth to talk. In high school, he met a girl who he became good friends with but she is another oc I'll post about sometime adlf,wpl.

Anyways! Come Machigai's high school graduation and 18th birthday, his father... disappeared. All he left was a note saying, that Machigai now owned the apartment and that there is enough blood in the fridge to sustain Machigai's thrist while he could grow and mature. To an already depressed and disillusioned Machigai this obviously didn't help. Throughout the next years he became a shut in, who only left the house if absolutely necessary. All he did all day was play video games, watch tv and later be on the internet. Once he ran out of his fathers blood was when things changed. He had to go out and actually find a new source of blood. Welp, sorry to unlucky bastards who went into dark alleyways at night bc these types of people became Machigai's source of blood. (That's when he stopped aging)

On one of these nightly escapades, Machigai was greeted by a large man in a neat black suit who called himself "Saito". Saito claimed to have known Machigai's mother and offered a deal: Machigai would offer up his unique constitution to the Hyakuya sect's research and in turn get a well paying job and a guaranteed source of blood. He agreed. "Welcome to the Hyakuya sect. I look forward to your performance"

Machigai was practically a lab rat for the development of cursed gear. Thanks to his half-n-half physiology he could tank wounds from cursed gear/magic n shit while still providing useful data to how effective it is. During this time Machigai aquired knowledge of vampire culture(?), became familiar with magic and it's quirks and learned how to perform simple spells and whatnot.

Around 2011, when the internet was already fairly well used, Machigai came across a forum dedicated to paranormal sightings. Various users claimed that a secluded spot in Kyoto was home to vampires. (Ferid was the one spreading these rumors btw) Most would have dissmissed this as someone wanting attention, yet Machigai was intrigued. He was well aware that vampires existed across the world but he mever knew how to actually contact them. Perhaps out of morbid curiosity, perhaps out of a genuine want for connection with people like him, he went to check out the spot. There, he met none other than the eccentric Ferid Bathory who specifically manufactured the rumor to meet Machigai (extra much?). He was well aware of Machigai's work for Rígr "Saito" Stafford and was trying to one up his father by stealing his most prized lab-rat. Machigai declined, not trusting a single thing out of that vampires mouth. Ferid left, already proclaiming that one day Machigai would be working for him.

Machigai stuck around that area as it was already well into the night and public transport wouldn't start up until the early morning. There he met another vampire: Crowley Eusford. Their meeting wasn't planned or meticulously calculated, it was actually rather awkward. Their chat was meaningless and short but in the end leagues above whatever Ferid likes to plan. Crolwey has already unwillingly heard about this curious being from Ferid and seeing Machigai himself left him wanting to learn more about him. Machigai was left a little hopeful, that perhaps it's not too late for him to look for connections.

So the apocalypse rolls around-

Machigai makes a deal with Saito that in exchange for his freedom (*eagle screech*) he would keep his mouth shut about anything the Hyakuya sect discovered while Machigai was there.

Machigai seeks out the Demon Army where he successfully keeps his half vampire identity a secert until someone on his squad gets blackmailed into revealing it. Before that, he gets a cursed weapon, a pair of daggers. And lo and behold, the demon possessing the daggers is his own mother. Unfortunately since the now demonic mother didn't witness Machigai growing up, she falsey believes to be able to still shape Machiagi to her will. After getting locked up by the army, Machigai completley gives up, only wishing for his miserable existence to end (spoiler: It won't! Ever. :) ). He ultimately loses any and all trust he has in humanity or just anything in general.

After about half a year of grueling torture and some experimentation, Machigai gets freed (kidnapped) by Ferid and promptly brought to Kyoto Sangiuem. Krul Tepes, finding Machigai to be useful in her fake-ish war against humanity and whatever she's planning with Yuu and Mika, lets him be part of the japanese vampires under Ferids faction. Ferid found himself unwilling to deal with the often uncooperative and irritated new "recruit" so he did what he does best and made it Crowley's problem.

After a rather agressive and disrespectful first impression, Machigai was officially a... coworker? of Crowley and thus also Chess and Horn in Nagoya. The three got the additional task by Ferid to somehow domesticate this feral and angry stray animal and get him to open up. At least that's how Ferids orders were phrased. Shenanigans, Drama and FeelingsTM ensue.

(How did I write so much??)

[noragaming]

on the topic of a guoshi: i know there are many parallels between different characters who play the same role, like the different crown princes, or the different guoshis, but fangxin guoshi just hits different. xie lian did say that it was on purpose. but. why is baby so hot