#solid choice though. i like this game does anyone else have anything to send in

[vulpinesaint]

Rate my religious trauma song

Saint bernard by Lincoln

solid 8/10. a bit overdone for me (almost certainly not a problem that most people have so you can add an extra half point there if you want) but it does have solid lines about actually growing up religious while also having the good fucked up self esteem motif that is so central to the experience of catholicism specifically. definitely warrants a place on a religious trauma playlist its only fault is that it is on Every religious trauma playlist.

when i am making a character playlist that i think warrants a saint bernard inclusion i am personally partial to saint bernard 2 just to change it up a little bit. same lyrics but the musicality is a little less heavy and i think the piano and violins bring a different kind of stress and melancholy about it while introducing a bouncier instrumental that makes the occasional high pitched strings or feedback noise impactful in a different kind of way. you know? just a little recommendation if the dear reader has not heard it before <3

[syrupspinner]

nextfest part 2!

i said out loud "oh thats adorable" when i saw that you get circles from an apple and triangles from a teapot. so, the first thing i wanna compare this to is Mindustry, since its a resource miner and tower defence game. notably, it's a radial defence. yknow how sometimes rhythm games, instead of having a straight note highway, have the notes approach the centre from all sides of the screen (look up the persona dancing games if you dont know what i mean). well this is like that! you send units to a book, and they travel out from the centre to defend it from the monsters approaching from the edge of the screen. this is already so fun! i can already appreciate that this emphasizes a really unique and interesting approach compared to other defence games ive played. wishlisted before i finished the first tutorial

this is a game i found on twitter at first, so im excited to give it a real go! im in that weird level where, as a peripheral nintendo fan, im aware of the reverence for f-zero, but ive never actually played any of the games, so i had no idea what i was getting into. after playing it, gotta say, hell yeah this feels awesome. i dig the visuals, the music's pretty fitting for the action, and the controls are SO slippery in a good way. its so ridiculously responsive, at first i felt the need to reach for the drift button on sharp turns but that instinct melted when i got acclimated by like, map 2. pumped for the full game

woof, 13gb for a demo? thats a lot around these parts. but hey, the game itself is pretty alright! the controls feel awesome, especially the dash. the high-jump is a little counterintuitive at first, but its east to get the feel for through the tutorial. speaking of, it is so long... i get that this is a complicated game, but its hard for me to internalize so much all at once. i hope that it was just for the sake of the demo, and the full game has more of an integrated way of teaching the player. i really like how if you miss an item, youre given the option of paying for it, or summoning the monster it spawns from for free, fun little player choice. also, minor nitpick, but the hitbox for the coins feel a bit small, i had do do a lot of what i call the "oops loop" when i missed one. i dont wanna hold this against the game, because this might be on me, but i had no idea what to do in the cactus level. i got the frisbee thing, but there wasnt anything for me to climb to with it, because i dont think there was anything above the door, and it wouldnt stick to the cactus wall. im not really feeling this one, but ill keep my eye out when it releases just in case it turns out better than i expect

this one caught my eye in the store for the aesthetic alone, and anyone who knows be gets why. i always dig this y2k-futuristic colourful vector stuff. in the game itself, yeah, i really dig this art direction. im a little dissapointed the evil-looking edera is such a pushover to the boss, i presume all the models have the same personality? anyway, gameplay: imagine bomberman 64 meets hyper light drifter. the only thing is, your character feels weirdly heavy. dashing somehow feels too slow and too fast at the same time, and it feels like youre trying to throw a couch full of helium every time you jump. the bomb mechanic itself is fine though! this seems like a solid but flawed game. ill give the full release an honest try if it releases for cheap, but i dont blame you if youre not feeling as generous

oh this is gonna be WEIRD weird, thank god

right away, i had to do controller calibration with my keyboard before it let me calibrate my controller. okay? anyway, the game kicks ass. i love how the drift feels, i can tell it took a lot of work to get it to feel like it does. its hard to explain, but it feels like it has ending lag? like, it takes you a while to STOP drifting, so you cant just do it for ever turn, youve gotta commit to it. the action is super tense to! the game expects you to play well or else you dont win, and i appreciate a game that knows its difficulty. if you die, you respawn almost immediately, and the almost is all you need. the art style is cute too, everything looks toyish, and it helps the game feel less serious in a "lets all have fun" kinda way without detracting from the action. wishlisted!

yeah i played more demonschool, i know nextfest isnt a competition but demonschool would win. its criminal that when you dont sort by "most wishlisted" that the first few pages arent exclusively demonschool

woah, achievements? i saw someone on twitter (@casitamono hes also a dev so you should check out Street Shuffle and Project B-fer) literally comand me to play this and im nothing if not compliant. and yeah, right away, THIS is how you have a style that is also substance. NBB was carried by its style, of the devil is carrying its style. the writing is fantastic, the characters are the perfect blend of unique and realistic, and the worldbuilding is cyberpunk that is poiniant and directed without going off the deep end. the gameplay is such a fun approach to detective work, i have no idea how they made gambling work without feeling luck-based. i am SO ready for more of this! definitely the best demo i played tonight (new games, i mean, i dont know who would win in a fight between this and demonschool but i think im leaning in morgans favour). its so long too?? i was not expecting this to be two and a half hours of quality substance. PLEASE play this game

join me next time when i finish my queue of demos! for real this time!

[in-tua-deep]

Ok I totally want to hear more about this survivors au/Delores is real! How do the siblings handle having this different version of Five? Five may be better adjusted but he still has to heard his family around like a bunch of stray cats. What happens when Hazel and Cha Cha show up? How do they find out that Vanya causes the apocalypse and how does Five handle that revelation?!

here is the thing, i think the survivors au has the potential to be HILARIOUS

no one knows how to handle a well-adjusted five, and this absolutely includes the commission

So you mentioned Hazel and Cha-Cha?? Five in this au was not nearly as absolutely feral as he is in the show bc he knows how to interact with people - he was raised by a competent adult and a weird best friend and they occasionally saw other survivors as well

please picture old Five hanging around the water cooler and chatting with Hazel

the other funny thing is that Five is competent passing - he is well adjusted emotionally but functionally?? Hazel is out there complaining about dental being cut and office parties and budgets and Five is there sipping his drink having never filed taxes in his life. Five doesn't know what the fuck a dental plan is, he was a child soldier and then lived in an apocalypse.

So please picture for me Hazel being like "okay I know corporate wants us to keep what we're being paid to ourselves but fuck that, workers unite, what do you get paid as a legend old timer?"

and five is like "you're getting paid? i get to not get tossed back into the apocalypse, I think"

"but what about expense forms? what about medical care?"

"I'm like 80% sure i'm being experimented on, actually." Five says nonchalantly, "Don't get me wrong, my idea of medical care is fucked by being a child soldier but I'm pretty sure regular people don't have electrodes attached to their heads every time they get a checkup. Could be wrong though! My ex-dad used to monitor my brainwaves while I slept so like, my idea of appropriate shit is fucked, you know?"

This is a Five who was raised by Rick, he is polite to his coworkers. If Dot asked him if he wanted to grab lunch, Five would have gone and grabbed lunch with her or politely said that he couldn't.

Cha Cha only ever talks to Five when she wants to talk shop, so they've had a couple of conversations about weapons but not much else tbh, Hazel just tends to be more personable

So when they're sent after Five, Hazel is much more hesitant to kill who he perceives as a "work friend" and also is definitely thinking about all the times Five casually revealed a way the commission was being highkey shady about him, such as the potential experimentation, no pay, working under duress etc. He's much more easily turned against the commission because he's even more primed to say "fuck the commission" than he is in canon

Hazel out here like "how did Five break his contract when Five wasn't even being paid? I kind of want to read it."

Hazel out here like "I would unionize if I didn't think the commission was anti-union enough to send literal assassins after me if I suggested it :/"

meanwhile with the siblings

Five just. talks over them a lot and makes so much sense that it's actually really hard to argue with him, and he's weirdly considerate of his family's obligations

Like Diego is like "i have to go see Patch" then Five is like "that's great I'm proud of you buddy, it would actually be really handy to have some law enforcement read into the situation if you think she's up to the task. that goes for everyone by the way! If y'all have people you trust, more bodies would be super helpful I think"

the entire family, collectively, who have like zero trusted social links: uhhhhhhhh

Diego, with this weird permission, probably?? Does? Awkwardly attempt to read Patch into the situation? Patch is, obviously, like "what the fuck, Diego" but probably goes with him to the mansion (????????) because she's concerned and then meets his fucking whacko family with their superpowers and suddenly everything is 100% more realistic

Five is just like "yes hello I'm aware I look like a child, i'm actually in my late 50s or early 60s (apocalypse time amiright) because of time travel stuff. Yes I am Five Hargreeves who went missing in like 2002 or whatever. anyway it's lovely to meet you, i'm so glad diego has someone he trusts, and considering my sibling's shifty looks when i told them to invite anyone they trusted this genuinely makes me concerned that Diego is the most socially well-adjusted of them."

"That cannot be possible." Patch says, like someone who has met Diego Hargreeves.

"You haven't met the rest." Five says sympathetically, "In our defense we were raised in isolation as child soldiers."

"That... explains so much." Is all Patch can say to that, "But you seem..."

"I'm adopted." Five waves away.

"We're ALL adopted." Diego grits out, very aggrieved by this and also not sure if he likes the fact that Patch seems friendly with Five, or at least is listening to him?

"I'm double adopted."

However! With the recruitment of Patch, herding Diego becomes like 90% easier.

Honestly the worst to herd are probably Luther and Allison? Luther because he's Number One and resents Five taking charge and also resents Five's casual dismissal of Reginald and also suspects that Five (or at least the commission) has something to do with Reginald's death?

Allison because she is torn between following Luther and helping him and helping Five but also calling Patrick and Claire at every possible moment while ALSO trying to repair her relationship with Vanya. She's flighty - she'd bail on a Five-apocalypse-assignment if Vanya mentioned being hungry or if Luther called or anything like that

Vanya likes to be included and, if asked, would probably drop as many current obligations as she can. Like she would probably cancel her teaching if Five genuinely and sincerely asked her for her help, which he does because he's 100% sure Dolores would manifest in front of him and smack him if he dared even imply someone without powers wouldn't be helpful

Vanya is like "I'm not sure if i'll be helpful - I don't have powers ):" and Patch is like "wtf are you talking about - my superpowers are Gun, Backup, and Reading Comprehension and i am like the most useful member of this team right now"

Vanya gets a confidence boost just from hanging out with Patch honestly, I think they should be friends

Klaus is thrilled to be included are you kidding?? He says he does it for money but he's just happy to be there and also as one of the most emotionally intelligent siblings he is mildly concerned about the fact that Five looks like he's about to cry and also emotes

Five also gives Klaus positive reinforcement, hugs, and Five absolutely weaponizes the I'm not mad, but I believe that you can do better and I'm going to give you more chances because I love you and fully believe that next time you'll be amazing way that Rick used on him.

I feel like Five ends up saying something along the lines of "I understand that x is really important, and we're definitely going to look into it. Is it something that needs to be addressed right now, or is it something that can wait until after April 1st? If it can wait, I can write it down here on this list so we don't forget. If it can't wait then we can figure out a time to address it and help you" a lot

Like Grace malfunctioning and potentially killing Reginald?

"We don't have to make this decision right now." Five says patiently, "Because Grace is a robot, we have some options. Living with a robot who is potentially malfunctioning and homicidal is dangerous, but Luther saying that means admitting that Reginald might have made a mistake or error with Grace's programming or upkeep. I haven't been here for a long time, but I remember Reginald being very precise. Regardless, this isn't a choice between permanently shutting her off or not. We can shut her down temporarily until we can fully address the issue. We can ask and see if there is a 'system reboot' option or some sort of system check that Grace can undergo. We can try find and hire an expert to take a look at her programming to find the issue."

Five gives this speech while like, organizing the weaponry in the house on a table very nonchalantly

Five out here making buzzer noises at his siblings arguments like "yeah no that's a false dichotomy and a strawman's argument, want to try again?"

(Look apocalypse nights were long and they had games that were literally about arguing pointless shit like ranking types of chairs or the best way to break out of a prison without powers and things could get heated)

"Who died and made you boss?" Luther demands.

"Uh, the world? Were you not listening?" Five asks, looking very purposefully confused.

It gets even MORE delightful when Five reads Rick into the situation because a) he promised and b) his siblings really have like, no connections jeeze

Rick fully believes that this is his son from the future, like Five introduced himself, but Five skipped out on a few key details. Such as being adopted.

So Rick spends a solid chunk of time just staring at Five, who looks basically nothing like him, trying to think like, who is his mother ???? if we save the world will Five stop existing? why would I name my child 'Five'? Does everyone have powers in the future? was there like... a radioactive apocalypse? would radiation give future humans superpowers? when did my life turn into a comic book? am i even allowed to ask these questions? will knowledge of the future fuck things up?

and then when Five comes back and is like "what is up everyone this is my dad Rick who will be joining us, he doesn't have any memories of me thanks to time travel but if anyone is mean to him i WILL kneecap them"

"Your DAD?"

Five does kidney punch Klaus for saying that Rick is a DILF but otherwise everyone just is like, warily looking at this Normal Dad Man in confusion because?? This is the dude who raised Five, who they watched take out like an entire commission team by himself yesterday? He looks so. Normal.

Rick is very confused and like, wonders if he's supposed to be the team mascot? But Five keeps involving him and asking his opinion and in return Rick enforces snack breaks and makes everyone sandwiches and has gentle talks with everyone

Every time Five notices someone about to blow he just lovingly makes sure that that person is alone in a room with Rick

Luther ends up crying on the sofa with Rick gently patting his back as Rick calmly states that Luther seems like he's put a lot of time and effort into his family and making his father proud and that since Reginald isn't here to say it, Rick will have to be the one to say that he's proud and that they've been dropped into a difficult and stressful situation - so soon after Reginald's death when they're still grieving! - and he's doing so well

Luther, experiencing unconditional positive paternal regard for the first time in his life: i don't know why i'm crying so much

honestly this is just a comedy of juggling the gang, having impromptu therapy sessions and discussions, investigating the apocalypse and the eye, leonard trying to meet vanya continuously and failing because she's constantly surrounding by family or rick/patch, the commission trying their best to bust up the dream team/isolate Vanya/kill or remove Five, while Hazel lives out his romcom dreams with Agnes and also says "fuck the commission"

[cheri-translates]

[CN] S2 Gavin and MC in Chapter 16

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers from Season 2 🍒

Highly recommend to read a summary of events prior to this in the plot review!

After the fog disperses in Loveland City, the Hunter Game seems to be discontinued

However, MC notices many coordinates moving on an island south of Loveland City called “Small Rock Reef”

She suspects that "Humans” who were caught by “Ghosts” during the Hunter Game were sent there and are trapped

Since the island is inaccessible across the sea, she heads to STF to seek assistance

There, she bumps into a familiar face, Tang Chao:

Tang Chao tells her that Lu Yi (whose Evol is gathering and transmitting data) noticed abnormal Evol energy fluctuations and an increasing number of people on the island. Because of poor signal and the fog, STF didn’t have the time to send anyone over

When the signal eventually returned, Gavin dropped by STF and decided to go to the island by himself, suspecting that the island is an important factor in the Hunter Game

Lu Yi was also sent to the island, so the both of them are currently there

At this moment, Gavin contacts the STF and gives a report on the situation: 1942 people are trapped, 284 are injured. The arena is underground and there are no exits. Since the arena is surrounded by water, they can’t break down the walls by force. Gavin suggests that they use Evol to carry out the evacuation. Even though there’s no poisonous fog, there’s insufficient oxygen

Gavin asks Dai Yue (whose Evol is creating passages between two points) and Tang Chao to head over to assist in distributing supplies and assisting with the evacuation

At this point, MC speaks up and makes her presence known:

MC: I can help too.

The earpiece goes quiet for a moment. Then, Gavin’s confused voice drifts over.

Gavin: ...MC? You’re in the STF?

Gavin seems very surprised to hear my voice. I shoot a meaningful glance to Tang Chao.

MC: I happened to investigate leads related to the Small Rock Reef, and came to STF to report it.

Gavin: You...

Gavin seems to hesitate. In that moment, a small chink seems to appear in his solid armour.

As though he realises something, he swallows the words back into silence, taking a deep breath.

Gavin: The situation here isn’t as simple as you think. You don’t have experience in rescue operations, so I wouldn’t recommend you to come.

MC: But you just said that there are “many people trapped”, and it’s a part of the Hunter Game. The mastermind is very dangerous. I just experienced the game in its entirety, and many doubtful points in the Hunter Game are hidden there. Aside from helping in the rescue, I have many things to tell you “in person”.

I pause, then continue softly.

MC: You should have found... “something special” there, am I correct?

Gavin’s breathing halts for a moment, and I know that my guess was correct.

Perhaps the thorn-covered “8″ symbol representing the Lighthouse is there.

Gavin: You know what it is?

I glance around the meeting room. Information regarding the Lighthouse hasn’t been verified. Hence, it isn’t appropriate to announce it publicly, and should be told to Gavin directly.

If I were to verify it only after the rescue, it’d be troublesome for both me and Gavin, who has been temporarily relieved of his duties.

Since the situation is already under control, verifying the state of affairs there while assisting in the rescue is the best choice.

MC: I can only give you an answer after I see it. Gavin, I can help you. I definitely won’t cause trouble.

Gavin seems to sense that I’m hesitating to say something. After a moment of silence, he sighs softly.

Gavin: Tang Chao, retrieve the communication earpiece from before, then give her some of the lighter self-defence equipment.

-

Tang Chao notifies Gavin that STF received a warning from “the other side” - which turns out to be NW - that they will handle the situation on the island and prohibits STF from going near

Gavin doesn’t care LOL

After the call, Tang Chao prepares the inventory:

MC: Tang Chao, isn’t Gavin currently relieved of his duties? You...

Tang Chao: Are you asking why we’re still following Captain Gavin’s commands?

I nod, watching as Tang Chao quickly makes an inventory of the supplies in the storehouse, turning his head.

Tang Chao: I don’t know about others, but to us in the Special Operations Team, Captain Gavin is Captain Gavin. It has nothing to do with whether he’s relieved of his duties or not.

While saying this, he lifts a gigantic box, his tone resolute yet casual, as though he’s talking about a completely ordinary fact.

Tang Chao: Also, he’s definitely not resting even though he’s been relieved of his duties. He simply worries even more. It’s best for him to return to the team sooner.

Hearing Tang Chao’s grumbling, I can’t help but laugh despite the tense situation.

-

Dai Yue creates a passage and they head towards the underground arena in the island. MC notices a bunch of people curling up and trembling while staring in a certain direction:

Just as I’m about follow their line of sight and look over, a shadow flies towards me at a great speed.

Instinctively, I dodge to the side. However, Tang Chao reacts even faster, rushing forward and immediately getting smashed to the ground by the shadow. 

Tang Chao: Be careful-- oof!

MC: Tang Chao! Are you okay?

Tang Chao: I’m fine, I’m fine. What’s going on?

I push aside the “shadow” which is pressing him down, and discover that it’s a person who has been beaten to a pulp.

MC: Who would be so ruthless...

Looking in the direction where the man came flying from, the weak light casts a shadow on a rugged stone wall. 

I nervously shield the fallen Tang Chao from the front, lowering myself and feeling for the tranquilliser gun I carried along with me. My hand trembles involuntarily.

??: MC?

Hearing this familiar voice makes me react instantly. 

MC: ...Gavin?

Hearing my voice, the sound of running footsteps drifts from the passageway. Very soon, a slightly fatigued face appears in my field of vision.

In that moment, I finally hear the weight in my heart falling to the ground with a thud.

The moment he sees me, his eyes immediately brighten. He takes brisk steps towards me, supporting up me by the shoulder and giving me a check over.

Gavin is completely covered with dust and ash, and his hair is a little messy.

His fatigued state further cements my guess regarding those clusters of wind in the city earlier.

Gavin: Are you okay?

MC: Are you okay?

We ask the same question in unison. In the next second, we smile while looking at each other.

Gavin: Sorry, I didn’t control my strength earlier.

MC: I’m fine. It’s all thanks to Tang Chao for covering me.

Only now does Gavin’s gaze shift to the side, and he spots Tang Chao who remains on the ground.

Gavin: Why are you still lying there? Waiting for me to help you up?

Tang Chao: Aren’t you going to ask if I’m okay?

Gavin: If your reaction is this slow again, you don’t have to stay in the Special Operations Team.

Tang Chao chokes, then shuts his mouth before getting up. Gavin doesn’t add more, and returns his gaze to me.

-

Before Gavin can continue, an electronic announcement blares, informing them that this is the final round of the Hunter Game. They can accumulate points by killing people, and those who rank in the top three will be sent to a safe place. There’s also another reminder that water surrounds the arena, so they shouldn’t even think of breaking the walls

Gavin explains what happened when he first arrived on the island: the place was in a state of chaos, and people were killing each other. He kept everything under control with this guideline: “You either forget about the rules in the announcement, or get a beating.”

Gavin orders Dai Yue to strengthen and widen the passageway, Lu Yi to gather everyone and evacuate through the tunnel in phases, and for Tang Chao to distribute supplies

MC helps maintain the order:

Gavin: You’ve grown pretty used to the pace of STF.

MC: It isn’t the pace of STF that I’ve grown used to, but the pace of Captain Gavin. After all, this isn’t the first time I’m your “team member”.

Perhaps recollecting a similar memory, the corners of Gavin’s lips hook into a small smile.

MC: Shouldn’t we follow them?

Gavin: No, we have something else to do. Follow me.

Gavin brings MC to a place with a special apparatus. The both of them surmise that this is the apparatus Joker has been using to gather Evol energy in order to unseal the Lighthouse

They decide to study it properly after the evacuation

All of a sudden, the passageway is filled with fog and everyone starts panicking:

Waving his hand, a wall of wind appears as far as the eye can see, enveloping everyone within it and separating them from the stinging fog.

This looks incredibly similar to those clusters of wind I saw on the streets of Loveland City.

I lift my head to look at Gavin. His fringe has long since been drenched, sticking to his forehead. However, his eyes blaze like torches as he observes the surroundings calmly.

Gavin: MC, stay here.

With this, he turns around and leaves the cluster of wind, vanishing into the fog.

At this moment, I understand everything.

While Gavin was controlling the chaos here, he was also constantly using his Evol to maintain over a hundred clusters of wind in the city.

But Gavin never said anything.

He has always been like this, seeing no need to explain, and seeing no need to express.

He simply grips onto his choice stubbornly, pressing forward with an indomitable will.

My heart seems to be bridled tightly by something, and I find it difficult to breathe.

A notification beep sounds in the earpiece. Gavin’s lowered voice drifts into my ear.

Gavin: Someone released tear gas, probably to control the crowd quickly. Tang Chao and Lu Yi, remind everyone to take note of the boundary, and evacuate as soon as possible. MC, tell those within the wall of wind to stay where they are. I’ll be back soon.

After straining himself to pass on the commands, he turns off the communicator, resting his hand on the cement wall of the passageway.

A heavy dizziness continuously invades his mind. Even the crevices in his bones transmit pain.

Maintaining the clusters of wind within the city and controlling the chaos here expends even more energy than he imagined. 

Gavin grits his teeth, straightening himself up, He takes a deep breath, forcing himself to remain conscious-

He will definitely not collapse here.

He spots three suspicious people. After a scuffle, one of them recognises Gavin

They are from NW, and they’re apparently here to assist in the evacuation after noticing abnormal Evol energy fluctuations on the island

However, Gavin has his doubts about their true purpose since they are too well-equipped for an evacuation mission

Gavin gets them to clear the tear gas and assist with the rescue:

By the time Gavin returns, the wall of wind is gone, and the tear gas permeating the air earlier vanishes without a trace.

I rush over to Gavin’s side, noticing the three strangers behind him.

After giving them a cautious glance, I turn to Gavin frantically, worried about his condition.

Gavin: I’m fine.

MC: I can tell when you’re lying to me.

Gavin: When did you learn Tang Chao’s Evol?

Gavin speaks in a soft voice. He can no longer conceal his fatigue, and it sprouts quietly while he leans against me lightly, letting it melt into the weight.

Gavin: I’m a little tired, but those people are here.

His shoots an icy glare at the three people at the side.

MC: Who are they?

Gavin: Have you heard of the New Weapon Project?

When I hear this name from Gavin’s mouth, I feel the tips of my fingers turning cold.

Even after such a long time, I’m unable to forget that day when Gavin was taken away by the group of uniformed men.

Neither can I stop myself from recalling that experiment he went through.

The NW organisation still exists, and there must be a special reason for their appearance here.

MC: I heard a little about them, and how their studies are highly confidential. As an organisation for scientific research, what are they doing here?

Gavin doesn’t know either, and MC recalls how NW sent an order prohibiting STF from going to the island. She finds it strange that they sent their own people instead

At this moment, new information from STF is sent into your earpiece - Loveland City is once again in a crisis. The fog has reappeared, and the Hunter Game is continuing

Meanwhile, the numbers on the apparatus continue to rise

In order to stop Joker, the both of you decide to dismantle the apparatus

NW attempts to dismantle the apparatus, but it triggers a device which Joker had prepared in advance. Poisonous gas fills the underground passageway. Even though Gavin tries to create a wind barricade, there’s too much gas coming from various places

Fortunately, NW has a conscience and assists with the evacuation

An electronic announcement blares: Due to the someone breaking the rules, the arena will be sealed up

Everyone starts panicking again, scrambling to the entrance:

At this moment, a strong gale courses through the middle of the crowd. Akin to an iron net, it “presses” everyone onto both sides of the wall.

Gavin: I’ll repeat myself. No one will die here. I won’t allow such a thing to happen. What all of you must do is trust me, and leave this place safely.

??: Why should I trust you! Will you take responsibility if I die?!

Gavin: I’ll take responsibility.

Gavin says these words firmly. In an instant, only the whistling sound of wind can be heard in the air.

Gavin: Trust me. I won’t let any of you die here. Everyone, leave one by one in sequence. Got it? If I see any actions disrupting the order, I won’t go easy on you.

Along with Gavin’s words, the wind reminiscent of an iron net disperses. Everyone is quiet, lowering their heads and waiting for the plan to proceed.

Just as Gavin mentioned earlier, fear is the fastest way to destroy order, but it’s also the fastest way to construct order.

Gavin staggers slightly. When he’s about to take a step forward to steady himself, I squeeze over to his side, bracing him just as he’s about to fall.

Gavin: !

MC: It’s okay, I’ll help you stand straight. Just lean on me.

Those amber eyes stare at me deeply, hiding all his thoughts within them.

Gavin: I’ll have to rely on you then.

At the same time, Gavin presses on his earpiece.

Gavin: Dai Yue, can the entrance of the passage be widened?

Dai Yue: I’ll give it a try.

With the effort of two Evolvers who can transfer objects, most of the people are evacuated slowly. However, I can sense that Gavin’s condition is continuously deteriorating.

Maintaining the clusters of wind has expended too much of his energy.

I hope he can leave this place as quickly as possible. But I know that he will only be at ease to evacuate only after the last person leaves.

I sigh. After acknowledging this point, I simply support him with even more strength.

Vaguely, I think about the sound I heard earlier.

Gavin: What’s wrong?

Gavin seems to sense my hesitance immediately.

MC: After that man cut the wire earlier, I think I heard another sound. It wasn’t just the emission of gas. It was the sound of something cracking.

RUMBLE--

Right after I finish speaking, a large tremor makes me almost lose my footing.

??: What is it now???

Gavin: This is bad!

Gavin quickly uses a wall of wind to encase the remaining crowd, sending all of them into the passageway with Dai Yue and the NW members.

Using the last bit of energy left in his body, he leaves us around ten metres away from the entrance of the passageway.

Gavin: Leave first...

He collapses onto the ground, as though the breath he had been holding for a very long time was finally exhausted completely.

I grit my teeth and hold onto Gavin, not letting go.

MC: I won’t abandon you!

I continuously head towards the passageway, dragging the weakened Gavin along.

Just a little more. Just a little bit more.

That large black coloured door is right before my eyes. It’s as though I can touch it just by reaching out.

In the next second, ice-cold seawater surges in violently, engulfing us instantly.

In the icy cold torrent, I grab onto Gavin tightly, spinning along with the surging water in this underground labyrinth.

The crashing barrage of seawater stirs up violent waves. I feel myself getting tossed around several times by this force. By the time I stop, I feel a little dizzy.

I struggle while swimming upwards, my arms quickly growing sore and weak.

In the icy cold seawater, all effort seems incredibly insignificant.

Just before the final wisp of oxygen leaves my chest, I halt my breathing, feeling for the portable oxygen concentrator I carried along with me.

...at the very least, Gavin has to leave this place safely.

In the dark waters, I try my best to feel for the corners of Gavin’s mouth, stuffing the portable oxygen concentrator into it.

All of a sudden, I feel the corners of my mouth being pried open by something icy cold.

MC: Mmph?!

I take a breath instinctively, but don’t get choked.

When I open my eyes, Gavin’s frantic expression crashes into my line of sight. The tips of his fingers press against my lips, and he seems to be confirming if I’m biting on the object in my mouth properly.

In the dim light, I see that the portable oxygen concentrators in our hands are on each others’ mouths.

The arms around my back tighten. I lift my head to look at Gavin, and realise that he has a small smile on his face.

The engulfing water, the dark labyrinth, bloodthirsty slaughtering, a silent scheme. All of these things make it difficult for me to breathe.

It’s been such a long time since I saw such a relaxed smile from Gavin. It’s as though we aren’t amid these dark waters, but are underneath tender sunlight.

It’s as though he has finally found an answer he’s been searching for for a very long time.

While I’m in a daze, Gavin pulls me as we swim upwards.

When we emerge to the surface, it’s as though we’ve survived a disaster. Gavin and I remove the oxygen concentrators, taking in large gasps of air.

For a moment, we look at each other, neither of us speaking. Perhaps there aren’t any suitable words which can express everything that I'm feeling right now.

In the end, I simply gather them together, assembling them into a simple phrase.

MC: Gavin, are you okay?

Gavin: MC, are you okay?

We ask each other in unison once again. The corners of our lips curl upwards, knowing the answer through a tacit understanding.

After they’ve composed themselves, Gavin gets everyone to report on their status. Tang Chao states that the evacuation was a success

Gavin tells Tang Chao and Lu Yi to meet up with them, then uses this opportunity to destroy the apparatus:

I retrieve a folding knife from my pocket, handing it to him.

MC: Gavin, even though I can’t do much, I want you to remember that you aren’t fighting alone.

Gavin seems to be taken aback for a moment. In the dimness, there seems to be faint light dancing in his eyes.

Gavin: ...I’ll remember. 

He gives me a deep stare, then re-enters the water without a turn of his head.

As promised, Gavin returns in around ten minutes.

Gavin: The apparatus happened to be right underneath us. The circuit had already been damaged by seawater, and I dismantled a few key components. Also, the people from NW are finding a way to draw out this water.

MC: That’s great...

While you’re talking, the water has already begun to recede. I release a soft sigh of relief.

Gavin reaches out, brushing aside some stray hairs sticking to my forehead, his voice softening.

Gavin: When I knew you were coming over, I was really worried at first. Now, I just feel that it’s a good thing you came.

With this, he takes a deep breath, leaning the side of his face against the top of my head.

Gavin: I’m tired. Let me rest for a while.

MC: Even though I can’t be of much help, I can be your human crutch now that I’m here, right?

Gavin: Not everyone can be my crutch.

His words are dyed with a smile. He relaxes completely, leaning against me.

Tang Chao: ...cough cough, sorry to disturb.

Gavin: Turn around.

Gavin doesn’t open his eyes nor move, but his voice is exceptionally cold.

Tang Chao: Yes sir. I’ve checked the route. Once you’re done resting, we can leave.

Gavin: If you want to run laps, just say so directly.

As the water level decreases, I’m able to step onto the ground. At this point, Gavin stands up straight.

MC notices that the number on the apparatus continues to increase. The two of them think that the collection of Evol will only be controlled if the Hunter Game is brought to a complete end

They return to Loveland City

Gavin decides to use his Evol to disperse the wind from the TV tower. He tries all sorts of methods to no avail. That is, until he creates a hurricane powerful enough to envelop the entire city

Meanwhile, MC remains below the TV tower for safety reasons. When she doesn’t hear news from Gavin after a while, she rushes up to the roof to watch as Gavin “retrieves” the thick fog, compressing it into the size of a basketball

With this, the Hunter Game comes to an end. He asks Lu Yi to broadcast his message to the public, and announces that the Hunter Game is over:

Gavin: Eli, I’ll leave the rest to you.

Eli: Got it. The reinforcement has arrived, hasn’t she?

Gavin doesn't respond. After confirming that the team members below the TV tower have properly retrieved the cluster of wind, he removes his earpiece, then reaches out to turn my communication device off.

MC: Gavin?

Gavin: It’s too noisy. Let’s have some peace and quiet for a while. Why did you run up by yourself? Didn’t you say you’d follow orders before taking action?

MC: But I also said that it’s up to my own judgement whether or not to come up and find you.

I give him a meticulous look over. The gale has caused his hair and clothes to become messy. Perhaps due to exerting too much energy, his lips have turned slightly pale.

Yet, he continues standing upright, the glow of sunset reflecting into his eyes, which seem to glisten and shine.

At this point, he no longer conceals any fatigue, displaying it before me completely.

I stand on my tiptoes, tidying the ends of his hair which have been blown messy by the wind, feeling both proud and a slight ache in my heart.

MC: Captain Gavin seems to be a little exhausted today. 

Gavin: Is that so? In that case, rest with me for a little while.

Gavin interrupts me softly, pulling me towards a wall at the corner and sitting down.

I sit beside him. The sky appears close enough to touch.

For some reason, I feel a sense of deja vu.

The roof of high school, a Ferris wheel operating at night... Along with the tender night breeze, all the memories related to him surface in my mind in fragments.

I had once received much warmth and comfort from him. When he needs me, I hope to be able to give him support. 

I scoot towards Gavin, letting him lean against me like before.

MC: Isn’t the roof a little cold, Captain Gavin?

Gavin: Mm, a little.

Gavin’s voice is slightly hoarse, but it carries within it a smile, accepting my excuse in tacit understanding.

Then, I suddenly feel a weight on my shoulder. Gavin has tilted his head over.

Gavin: Wake me up after five minutes.

MC: Okay.

I try my best to straighten up, wanting him to lean more comfortably.

The tender evening breeze blows his fringe up. Only then do I realise that there are fine beads of sweat on his forehead.

Everything that happened today has been expending him continuously.

He has been holding himself together in front of others till now. Only when the two of us are alone together can he let himself have a moment of rest like this.

Even though I know that he’s very strong, and know that he shoulders a great responsibility, there should still be a limit to how much effort he puts in.

Wiping his sweat gently with my sleeve, I realise that he has already fallen asleep.

A fierce ache surfaces in a certain corner of my heart, yet there is also a faint hint of sweetness.

I really want to tell him that he has the right to play coy and show his weaknesses sometimes.

I also really want to thank him for not hiding this moment from me.

Seeing his brows quiver slightly, I sigh quietly. In the end, I choose the simplest phrase.

MC: You’ve worked hard...

Our hero.

-

Even though Gavin told me to wake him up after five minutes, I can’t bear to do so.

The curtain of night descends. Seeing that he’s still in a deep sleep, I call Eli over to send him to the STF’s hospital.

He probably wouldn’t want many people to see him in such a fatigued state.

I guess this counts as maintaining the reputation of a certain Captain of the Special Operations Team.

The doctor does a check-up for him. Fortunately, there aren’t any major issues. He simply needs to nurse himself back to health and get more rest.

However, based on my experience, Gavin has never properly followed the advice from doctors...

As such, I decide to stay in his ward throughout the night, ensuring that he keeps the infusion bag on till all the fluid is gone.

When I wake up from a nap on the second day, a thin blanket slides off me.

I pick it up in slight confusion. When I lift my head, I meet Gavin’s eyes which carry within them a smile.

Gavin: You’re awake?

MC: Mm! Why are you up so early?

Gavin: Maybe it’s because the wind is really comfortable today.

Following his line of sight, I turn towards the window. The branches of the trees outside are swaying gently in the breeze, causing speckles of light to stir.

At this moment, this ordinary sunny day enables one to develop a sense of ease which has not been experienced in a long time.

MC: Maybe after that gale last night, grey clouds won’t draw near to Loveland City for a while. How do you feel now? Do you feel discomfort anywhere?

Gavin: Nope, there’s no need to worry.

His response is overly straightforward, which makes me suspicious. I reach out to feel his forehead.

His temperature is normal, and I heave a small sigh of relief. Just as I’m about to retract my hand and tell him have a good rest, a knock suddenly comes at the door.

Gavin: Come in.

Tang Chao: Captain Gavin, you’re awake so... early?

Tang Chao speaks while pushing the door open. When he sees me, he suddenly pauses.

Tang Chao: Ah, I’ve disturbed you again, sorry about that.

After saying this in one breath, Tang Chao shuts the door with a thud.

I glance at Gavin in slight embarrassment. He seems to have guessed this development, and his expression is the same as usual. It’s just that his tone is much icier when he speaks again.

Gavin: Tang Chao, come in. Don’t make me repeat myself.

Tang Chao: Captain Gavin, I’m not the only one here...

Gavin: All of you, come in.

Tang Chao and Eli enter the room to give Gavin updates on what happened after the fog was retrieved

The fog has been sent to be studied, but the apparatus was taken by NW. They’re still trying to locate Joker

Gavin: Anything else?

Eli: Nope. Tang Chao happens to have an itchy throat, so I’ll get him checked out.

Eli offers an obviously fabricated excuse, giving me a wink before wedging Tang Chao underneath his arm and slipping out of the ward.

The ward returns to silence. Gavin coughs softly, changing the subject.

Gavin: What are you planning to do next?

MC: Tidying up some recent work at the company, and continuing our “collaborative program”.

I wink, and Gavin nods in understanding.

Before, Gavin had asked for my cooperation in pulling the wool over people’s eyes. This way, he’d have an easier time investigating an incident related to an old ex-policeman...

Even though the Hunter Game disrupted this plan for a while, I can vaguely sense that these incidents are somehow connected.

Gavin: There are certain developments regarding that matter. I’ll find a suitable time to keep you updated.

He leaves no traces behind, scanning his surroundings. I nod, knowing the severity of this incident.

MC: But there’s something I need to follow-up on.

Gavin: What is it?

MC: Before you’re completely restored to health, you can’t sneak out of the hospital.

-

MC leaves the hospital and returns to the company

After work, MC receives a call from a member of Black Swan, and finds out that a combination of exposure to the fog and overuse of Evol could result in pathological changes in Evolvers

MC recalls the sheer amount of Evol Gavin expended recently, and decides to check up on him:

It begins to drizzle. Without any hesitation, I immediately rush towards the hospital.

When I reach the hospital, the nurse informs me that Gavin has already been discharged.

Stepping out of the hospital furiously, I take out my phone and dial Gavin’s number.

MC: Gavin, why aren't you in the hospital?

Gavin: I headed out to handle some work. I’ll be back very soon.

MC: In that case, I’ll wait for you in the hospital. There’s something really important I need to tell you.

Gavin seems to say something, but I’m unable to hear him clearly. A series of disordered sounds are suddenly at your ear. With a final “thud”, it sounds as though something fell onto the ground.

MC: Gavin, Gavin? Did something happen?

I keep calling out to him. After a few seconds, I hear Gavin’s voice again.

Gavin: Sorry. Someone bumped into my phone earlier. I need to meet someone today, so I might only return very late. I’ll contact you again when I have time another day.

Detecting his prudent choice of words, I can’t help but recall how he reminded me that his phone may have been wiretapped when we were investigating the old ex-policeman.

As such, I calm myself down before responding.

MC: Could I look for you in the hospital tomorrow?

Gavin: Tomorrow... might not be possible either. There are other developments in the matter I was investigating before. I heard from Minor that you have all sorts of work to do. Why don’t we talk about this after we’re both done with work?

Gavin says all of this in one breath, and I find it difficult to get a word in.

But it’s a fact that we’re both busy. After composing myself, I try to speak in the sternest voice I can muster.

MC: In that case, you must first promise me one thing.

Gavin: Go on.

MC: Don’t use your Evol for now. You used too much of it before, and your body might not be able to take it. I recently discovered some things. Even though it hasn’t been verified, I suspect that... overusing Evol may result in a certain deterioration of the body according to the Evol’s characteristics.

At the other end of the line, only the soft sound of falling rain can be heard. A faint sound of breathing draws near to my ears, which makes me think that-

Gavin seems to be near me.

I instinctively look up, scanning my surroundings, However, I’m unable to see that familiar figure.

Gavin: Don’t worry, I’m fine. I’ll also look into what you mentioned earlier. It’s almost time. I’ll contact you again when I’m free.

After he hangs up, I stand in place and hesitate for a while.

I keep sensing that something’s not quite right, but my train of thought is unable to latch onto anything.

I shake my head, deciding to set aside these messy thoughts temporarily.

Perhaps after that momentous Hunter Game, everyone needs some time to return to their original rhythm.

Gavin quickly leaves the crowded block, leaning against the wall where nobody is. He looks at his right hand quietly.

It was only when his phone fell from his hand earlier did he realise that changes were happening to his body.

Even though his sense of touch is still intact, a few fingers on his right hand have turned transparent.

Ever since he retrieved the fog that day, he has been feeling that something was off.

However, since he didn’t feel any pain as compared to his usual injuries from missions, he didn’t pay much attention to it.

He recalls what the girl mentioned earlier about her conjecture regarding Evol deterioration, and he furrows his brows tightly.

He told her a lie. Of course, not only then.

If he hadn’t pushed himself that day, the fog would never have been retrieved so easily.

However, from the very beginning, he was already prepared to give his all.

His phone vibrates. Gavin looks at the screen - it’s a message from the girl.

Words of concern appear on the screen, and he subconsciously thinks of the girl’s worried face.

He isn’t good at lying to her, neither does he know if his “acting” from before was enough to deceive you.

This place isn’t far from the hospital, and she could be nearby. Gavin puts on a jacket and hood, covering more than half of his face.

An evening breeze brushes past, and he lifts his hand slowly.

Faintly discernible wind gathers around him, but it disperses very quickly. Gavin purses his lips tightly, forcefully concentrating his willpower, once again trying to control the wind in his surroundings.

As though losing control, a large gust of wind carrying rain lunges towards him violently, causing his clothes to get drenched.

A few black wisps entwine around his almost vanished fingers. Gavin frowns while looking at them, then puts down his hand.

The glass beside him reflects the bright lights of the evening. Gavin tugs his hood downwards. 

His phone vibrates a few more times, and he decides to turn it off.

Then, he walks into the night without even a turn of his head.

-

[ Gavin’s Scene in Chapter 17 ]

The weather is slightly gloomy. A breeze brushes the drying pole in the courtyard, causing a few pieces of children’s clothing to flutter.

Gavin tidies the suit that he doesn’t wear often, walking into the small courtyard with slow steps.

An elderly man carries a girl off a wooden horse and back into the house. Then, he returns to the table in the courtyard, looking at Gavin fixedly.

Elderly man: Just because I agreed to meet doesn’t mean that I trust people in the STF. It happened such a long time ago. What else do you want to ask about?

Gavin shakes his head lightly.

Gavin: I’m not representing the STF, neither am I asking you to trust the STF. This is an investigation I’m conducting in a personal capacity.

The old man releases a long breath. 

Elderly man: I’ve met too many people like you. It doesn’t matter if you’re an individual or representing the STF. In the end, they end up with nothing definite. You aren’t the first person to see me, and you won’t be the last.

Gavin is silent for a moment. Then, he retrieves his gun and badge from the inner pocket of his suit, placing them on the table.

Gavin: In that case, let me be the last.

The man seems to be given a fright when he sees the gun. However, he quickly reveals a doubtful expression.

Gavin turns the gun in the other direction, the handle facing the elderly man.

Gavin: This is my gun and police badge. They are the evidence of me joining the STF and becoming a member of the Special Operations Team. I’m handing them over to you. After I ascertain the truth, I’ll use the truth to exchange them back with you.

In the icy wind, Gavin’s eyes blaze like torches, akin to a sharp blade glistening with a cold tip.

Elderly man: You’re from the STF. Why would you investigate such a thing by yourself?

Gavin: My position and the truth are two separate things. I only want the latter.

The dark coloured gun looks a little incompatible with the small table.

Lily petals quiver gently in the breeze, akin to a tottering omen.

[Trivia] Lilies generally symbolise purity and virtue, but they’re also commonly associated with funerals as they symbolise the restoration of innocence to the soul of the departed

[ MOMENTS ]

Gavin’s Post: Almost didn’t make it for a routine report. Regardless of the means of transportation, there’s always a possibility of arriving late.

MC: Is flying more reliable?

Gavin: It is, but there should be air traffic control too.

-

Gavin’s Post: Almost didn’t make it for a routine report. Regardless of the means of transportation, there’s always a possibility of arriving late.

MC: Sparky faces traffic jams too?!

Gavin: There was a car accident, and the entire road was blocked.

-

Gavin’s Post: Almost didn’t make it for a routine report. Regardless of the means of transportation, there’s always a possibility of arriving late.

MC: In that case, how did Officer Gavin manage to reach in time?

Gavin: I left Sparky in the carpark and flew over. I picked it up afterwards.

Phone calls: First ll Second

[roselen-mylady]

the game

"First one to kiss Thor wins." Wanda suggested. Y/n tried to hide her scoff but judging by Nat's elbow in her ribs, she hadn't been successful. "Come on, Y/n!" Wanda groaned, rubbing her forehead in frustration. 

"Oh, you come on! What? Are we going to play 'would you rather' after?" Y/n joked, earning yet another jab from Nat. The two red heads glared at her annoyed but Y/n didn't care as she took a sip of champagne.

Pepper had convinced Tony to hold another party in hopes of boosting the team's morale and while it wasn't the first time he'd done it, the parties were still enjoyable. Y/n couldn't help the enthusiasm and joy that came with drinking, dancing and mingling. Everyone came, at least everyone she knew, along with a hundred other people Tony knew. Even Peter had started to attend the last few parties, granted Tony only made him a frequent attendee once he'd reached 18.

The parties were fun, yes, but still being the drama and excitement addicts they were, Y/n and her closest friends craved the thrill of their little games. They played them at every party. The first was a simple game of truth or dare and the second had been the cliche spin the bottle. But with each gathering their dares and games grew more and more risky. And Y/n loved it. They all did.

But tonight was different.

Tonight was boring.

"You're just upset that Bucky didn't want to make out in the closet with you last time we played." Nat accused. A deep frown settled on Y/n's lips from the stab at her pride but she quickly waved off Nat's insult with a dismissing hand.

"That's because he knew I was drunk off my ass. I didn't really wanna make out with him either, he's my friend. You know what alcohol does to me." She argued, getting a short disbelieving nod from Wanda in return.

"Uh huh. Or maybe cause he knows you're into his best friend." Nat suggested, sipping her own drink with a smirk as she narrowly dodged Y/n's threatening hand. Wanda giggled at the interaction, knowing there was truth behind Nat's words. She had seen into Y/n's mind and her fondness toward Steve practically screamed back at her.

"I'm not into Steve. The man is too self righteous for his own good and you know I'm into bad boys." Y/n shrugged, her attempt at hiding her feelings becoming transparent in her friends' eyes.

Yet before either of them could argue further and perhaps bring up the kiss she almost shared with Steve during spin the bottle, Sam and Bucky arrived. "Who's into bad boys? You've come to the right place ladies, I'm the baddest of them all." Sam flashed a charming smile to which they all rolled their eyes.

"I'm sorry, Sam, but I think Bucky has you beat on bad boys." Y/n challenged, sending a playful wink toward the soldier. Sam gasped, mocking hurt while Bucky rolled his eyes rather unamused with the discussion.

"That's right, weren't you the second shooter in the JFK assassination? That's gotta be as bad as it gets." Nat commented causing a dark flush on Bucky's face. A short flash of guilt appeared on his face but he instantly brushed the comment off deciding not to dig into his cloudy memory for the truth. The second shooter was just a conspiracy theory anyways. But then again, so was the Winter Solider...

"What are you, a cop?" Bucky let out a strained chuckle, bringing his drink to his lips subtly trying to pull himself from the conversation. Y/n offered an apologetic smile and he returned it gratefully before she turned her gaze away.

Despite his closed off nature she'd actually become a sort of friend to Bucky and while at first it was rocky, she rather enjoyed her friendship with him. Through Bucky she heard stories about Steve when they were growing up and she saw another side of him that she wished she'd known.

"You ladies up to another game?" Sam questioned suddenly. Nat nodded sharing a look with Wanda but Y/n's focus had been drawn away. While lost in her thoughts about him, her gaze had drifted to the man of her fantasies and she shamelessly watched as he talked with Tony and another man she didn't care to remember.

He was smiling, a sight that she cherished even if he'd never notice. The blue of his eyes seemed to shine brighter than any fireworks she'd ever seen and her heart skipped a beat just looking at them. His blonde locks had grown out while she had been snapped away but not enough to make him appear drastically changed. In fact she wasn't sure if anyone else had really noticed. Maybe she was just a stalker.

"Well, we were going to play one but Y/n thinks it's not big enough." Wanda replied, giving Y/n a glare as she turned back to the group.

"Well, it wasn't. I feel like everyone's used to our shenanigans so there's no challenge." Y/n shrugged, peering at the others with a bored stare. Sam shook his head, refusing to let the tradition die.

"What did you guys have in mind?" He asked, looking over the three women as they glanced around the party.

"Wanda suggested a competition to see who could kiss Thor first." Nat explained. Bucky scrunched his nose in disdain at the dare, exchanging a exasperated look with Y/n.

"Thor would do anything, if you asked him." Sam sighed, drinking whatever liquor he had requested. Y/n remembered him saying something about woman being attracted to a man who can handle hard liquor but she had chosen to ignore him. Though she did have to admit it must've been hard for him to compete with both of his best friends being able to drink without the effects of the alcohol they consumed.

"That's what I thought! Thor would gladly abide anything if it made us happy. He's too kind for his own good." Y/n playfully rolled her eyes as they looked over to said god. He had slimmed down significantly during his time with the guardians and Y/n could almost swear that there wasn't an ounce of body fat left on the man. His hair had been cut as well, returning to his signature length and his beard had been trimmed down to a reasonable length. In other words, the Asgardian had almost every girl swooning once more.

But Y/n was swooning for another.

The same man she had for years.

"We could make it more of a challenge." Nat proposed. The group turned to her with interested eyes, the only one who hadn't seemed to match their intrigue being a very grumpy Bucky. "We could expand the dare to all Avengers. Unless you guys wanna be pussys and limit it only to men." Nat winked.

Wanda's face flushed at the suggestion and quickly shook her head. "I have a hard enough time kissing the people I've known for years let alone all the new Avengers." She squeaked. Sam chuckled nodding in agreement.

"Yeah, not that you guys are pussys I'm just saying that is a lot of people. That'll take forever. Let's just stick with Avengers pre-snap." Sam's laughter grew at Y/n and Nat's disappointed expressions, having reaped them of the extra challenge they'd been searching for.

"How about this?" He began realizing without a catch the game wouldn't be that much fun for any of them. "You have to get them to kiss you but only using cheesy ass pick up lines." Sam explained, looking rather proud of his game plan.

"What type of kiss?" Y/n questioned suspiciously.

"Any." A buzz of laughter and eagerness flooded over the girls and Y/n smirked knowing she'd been born for this challenge. "Are we all in agreement?" Sam asked looking to each for affirmations. Once everyone was on board they put their hands in the middle, a sort of ritual they had developed as a way to insure everyone's commitment.

But another presence had been added to their usual group and they turned to Bucky to see what he would do. He had never been on the scheming side of the games and usually was a victim but now he had a choice. Though he'd rather be removed from the plan all together he figured he'd might as well get it over with while he still knew what was happening.

"Yeah, alright but I'm not doing make outs. You guys do your lines or whatever, get your kiss, then I'm out." Bucky told them, putting his vibranium arm into the middle along with the rest. With childish grins on their faces they let their hands fall as Sam stepped forward.

"As per tradition, you all start off with a good luck kiss from moi." Sam explained, putting a dramatic hand over his chest as he turned to Wanda. She scoffed at his attempt at charm allowing him to peck her lips with a teasing smirk. Turning to Nat, he hesitated allowing her to quickly kiss him, learning the hard way that coming onto her was an easy way to get a black eye. The smack of her lipstick made Bucky shake his head, his 40s mindset unable to grasp how easily they'd all accepted the concept.

Sam then turned to Y/n, noticing the way she subtly glanced in the direction of Steve as his arm came around her waist. "Looking for someone? Cause your prince charming is right here." Sam flirted earning an eye roll from the woman before him.

"I thought we were supposed to do the crappy pick up lines." Y/n raised a brow, keeping a hand on his chest to get some distance.

"I said cheesy not crappy. I'm offended." He frowned playfully only to have it wiped off his face by the soft peck of her lips. She pulled away just as quick, slipping out of his hold and shaking her head.

"Oh, how will you ever recover?" She replied sarcastically, making the girls laugh quietly beside her. He smirked turning to Bucky.

"Alright, Buck. Let's get this show on the road." Sam announced patting Bucky's shoulder roughly as he urged him forward. Surprisingly Bucky seemed more nervous than he did annoyed so Y/n decided to take the lead this time, stepping closer to the brunette.

Deciding to keep it simple for Bucky's sake she trailed her fingers along his forearm, giving him a gentle smile. "Hey, can I borrow a kiss? I promise I'll give it back." She spoke smoothly. Sam cackled behind them but Y/n paid no mind instead smiling back at Bucky as he chuckled softly, grateful she hadn't used one of the dirty lines he was sure she had.

Shaking his head he leaned down, placing a gentle kiss to the corner of her lips. Though he made it seem like he was annoyed by the games he was forced into every party, he found Y/n made them more enjoyable, being one of his only friends.

"Go on. You better win since it's your fault I'm a part of this." He grumbled and Y/n laughed, nodding before running off to claim more lips.

On the other side of the room a certain blonde had caught sight of her, his eyes narrowing slightly in interest as Tony leaned closer to him. "I think Y/n's playing another one of those games. I swear that girl is going to be the death of me. Let's just hope Morgan stays innocent." Tony mumbled, bringing his glass to his lips as he surveyed Steve's expression.

"Yeah." Steve replied dully, his focus directed at the only girl in the room he couldn't keep his eyes off of. Tony smirked knowingly, deciding he'd allow Steve to ignore him just this once.

•••

Y/n had this in the bag.

Thanks to Sam she had a wide range of pick up lines to try out and she planned to use the right one with each.

The first person she recognized in the crowd was T'Challa and she made her way to him slyly, his gaze falling on her as the crowd parted. "Ah, Ms. Y/n. To what do I owe the pleasure?" He questioned, a bit of mistrust in his eyes when he recognized the smirk on her face.

"Just seeing how my favorite pussy cat is." Y/n replied with an innocent shrug. He squinted suspecting her ulterior motives. He'd been to enough of Tony's parties to know that she along with Nat and Wanda usually had some kind of game and while he was entertained by it he also knew he needed to maintain decency being a King.

"He is very happy you're here to make things interesting. He was just telling me about how boring this party was. Also he was telling me he should ask you when you're going to bring Peter to Wakanda, that boy won't get off my back." Shuri spoke up, stepping closer to the pair with a pleased smirk. T'Challa didn't seem to share her amusement but knew most of what she had said was true.

"Well, you'll be happy to know that I have to be in Wakanda next week, I'll see if he's free to tag along." Y/n replied, turning her gaze to the spider boy. He still seemed to follow Tony around like a lost puppy but Y/n hoped maybe their field trip to Wakanda would break him out of his shell.

"Would it be wishful thinking if I hoped your visit to our kingdom is the only reason for your presence now?" T'Challa questioned. Shuri and Y/n laughed answering his question. There was another game going on. "What's the challenge now? Let me guess, I should be expecting Ms. Romanoff and Ms. Maximoff next?"

"More than likely. But there's a twist this time." Y/n explained, noticing the bit of curiosity in his eye as she sipped her drink. "If you like my pick up line, you have to give me a kiss."

Shuri giggled next to them excited to hear whatever line Y/n had planned. The young princess was always up for some mischief especially if her brother was the victim and this was what made her adore Y/n so much.

"And what if I don't?"

"I'll just have to try again, I suppose. You know how persistent I am." Y/n winked. T'Challa shook his head, catching sight of Wanda across the room having already collected her kiss from Thor. With a silent sigh, he turned back to Y/n figuring he'd best not hold her up any longer.

"Fine." Y/n smiled, locking eyes with Shuri for a moment before turning back to T'Challa. She stepped forward, the soft click of her heels sending a chill down his spine as she put a hand on his upper arm. Her lips curved into a smile and he braced himself for the line that seemed to bring her so much pride.

"Meow you doin'?" Y/n smirked, her voice smooth as velvet as her eyes stared into his. Laughter erupted from his sister and he turned to her as Y/n burst out into her own fit of giggles.

"I don't get it." T'Challa told them, dumbly trying to use the little bit of context he was given to understand the joke.

"Oh, brother! As soon as we return home we are watching Friends! Now give her a kiss so that she may have a chance at winning!" Shuri spoke through laughs. T'Challa shook his head but lifted Y/n's hand nonetheless and placed a soft kiss to her knuckles.

"I feel cheated." He grumbled but the laughter from both girls was enough to take his mind off the pick up line that went straight over his head.

"Pleasure doing business with you, King T'Challa." Y/n curtsied before turning away to find her next victim, leaving T'Challa and Shuri with entertained smiles.

Next on her list was Bruce Banner, the most lost out of all of the men who had experienced the game. The first time they decided to target just one person, he had been the focus and while he enjoyed Nat's kiss, Y/n and Wanda following in the act seemed to put him in a daze for a week.

"You got T'Challa right off that bat? Sometimes I hate how good you are at this." Nat's voice cut into Y/n's thoughts as the two stood together surveying Bruce.

"There's nothing to it, my friend. Give a line, get a kiss. It's science. Did you already get Clint?" Y/n questioned, trying to see where she was at as far as the competition went.

Nat shook her head softly, glancing over at the other men they'd still needed to kiss. "No. He's not here. He says he wants us to take his retirement seriously so until then he won't be at the parties, I guess." She explained and Y/n nodded quietly. One less guy to convince, she reasoned.

"You know I'll never get used to his transformation thing." Y/n commented, gesturing toward Bruce with a nod. Nat followed her gaze, leaning into Y/n to see past the crowd of people in front of her.

"Yeah, me either." She replied. Y/n's eyes narrowed suspiciously as she glanced at Nat through the corner of her eye but ultimately decided it wasn't something she really desired to question further.

"You better save your best pick up line for Steve." Nat warned, the smile on her lips all too knowing for Y/n's liking. Her mouth ran dry and the familiar rush upon hearing his name coursed through her making her face burn.

"For the last time, I'm not into-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Too bad though. He's been watching you ever since the game started." Nat whispered, turning Y/n's head in his direction with a poke to her chin.

The red on Y/n's face grew darker at the sight of Steve looking back at her, his eyes locking with hers over the rim on his glass. A soft shade of pink settled on his cheeks to match her own and his gaze faltered before returning to the man he'd been talking to.

"Save the best for last." Nat teased softly as Y/n turned back to her. She tried to brush off Nat's words as she stalked off toward Bruce but she couldn't get the image of Steve out of her mind.

Had he ever looked at her like that before? Was she losing her mind?

A long sigh escaped her as she tried desperately to focus on racking her brain for any science puns she had.

"Y/n! Hey, long time no see!" He cheered, pulling her into a side hug. The laughter that bubbled out of her chest was involuntary as she practically disappeared under his good arm.

"It's nice to see you too, Bruce. How's the arm?" Y/n questioned gesturing to the cast that seemed to be permanent on the larger than life limb. Bruce offered a tentative shrug, looking down at it.

"Tony and I aren't sure if it's ever going to heal. He's been looking at the possibility of getting a prosthetic but I don't really mind it. We beat Thanos, that's all that really matters to me." He replied. Y/n smiled kindly at him, putting her hand on the cast as her fingers trailed Steve's signature. She couldn't help the racing of her heart when she realized he'd signed right below her own.

"So, Nat tells me you guys are doing another game. Why do you guys do that anyways? Don't you get embarrassed?" He asked, genuinely interested. Whatever Nat had told him seemed to make him more aware and Y/n found herself open to his questions.

"I don't know. I trust everyone on the team so kissing them isn't a big deal. If anything I think it makes us more open to one another. Not to mention half of us are touch starved and probably need a kiss every so often." She laughed thinking back to her poor Bucky.

Bruce laughed too, "Well, maybe next party you'll find a way to get everyone to play. That'll be a sight." He chuckled imagining everyone competing against one another in some intimate game. Y/n nodded perhaps taking the suggestion maybe a bit too seriously.

"Maybe...I've gotta win this game first though. I'm sure you know the rules." She raised a playful brow and crossed her arms. He nodded remembering Nat's line with a loving smile. "Good. Let's see."

Her hand rose to her chin, staring up at the ceiling for a moment as she thought. Bruce watched with a entertained smile as her eyes lit up before looking back at him.

"Hey, baby. If you were an enzyme I'd be a DNA synthase so I could unzip your genes." She nudged Bruce's side making him laugh.

"That was the worst." He chuckled and Y/n laughed as well, nodding in agreement.

"Yeah, but you laughed so..." He nodded wrapping his free arm around her shoulders and leaning down to press a kiss to the top of her head, the most accessible spot from his outrageous height.

"I'm gonna remember that one." Bruce told her, his head bobbing unconsciously as he already began practicing the line in his head. Y/n bowed proudly before disappearing into the crowd once more.

"Who's next?" She mumbled to herself, running her hands along her dress, absentmindedly flatting the bunching in the fabric. The dress had been her favorite, hugging her perfectly as many of the tailored clothes Pepper sent her did. But this one was different.

This one was blue. But not just any blue. It was the same dark navy Steve wore on every mission. A color she found herself buying more often, whether it be on a folder or on a dress. She was almost attracted to it as much as she was to Steve and while it seemed a little silly, it made her happy knowing she could express her hidden feelings through little things such as that. She truly was head over heels but she could never tell him that. She could never risk the rejection she feared she'd be met with if she dared make a move.

So she loved him from afar.

•••

"Oh no. Not pick up lines." Tony groaned next to Steve, his eyes nearly disappearing into the back of his head as he rolled them. Sam chuckled, nodding his head.

"It's true. Everyone is going to get hit on in the most undesired way possible tonight." He grinned, his lips still buzzing from the kisses he'd recieved.

"Yeah, you have bird brain here to thank for that." Bucky grumbled from Steve's left. Sam frowned, glaring at the semi stable hundred year old man.

"That's not what you said when you kissed Y/n." He retorted.

Steve tried to fight the jealousy that boiled in his gut but Bucky had already noticed the frown that reached his best friend's face.

"Only because I want her to win. She's my friend." Bucky explained, hoping his emphasize on 'friend' would put Steve at ease but the super soldier would never truly be at ease unless he had her in his arms.

He'd lost so much over the years including her and now that he had it all back-had her back, it felt wrong that they weren't together like he hoped. But he couldn't just tell her. What if she didn't feel the same way? What if he lost her in a way that no infinity stones could reverse?

"Personally I'm rooting for Wanda. That girl's smile would make you wanna kiss her. Not to mention her mind control stuff." Sam argued, using his hand to mimick Wanda's powers.

"Is this going to happen at every party?" Fury remarked from behind them making them turn to him, some with annoyed glances.

"You're not allowed to say anything about this, 'Mr. Off-Limits'." Sam proclaimed, feeling a tad responsible for keeping Fury out of the games. Especially after what happened last time.

"I won't be forced to partake in childish games like that. Y/n had it coming." Fury explained, any remorse he might've felt long gone.

Steve crossed his arms, his shirt tightening around his arms as he tried to bite his tongue. "You nearly broke her arm." He suddenly spoke up. Sam's suggestive smirk made him regret it instantly but thankfully Sam chose not to say anything.

"Gotta admit. Her resolve is pretty firm. It's actually pretty hot." Sam wiggled a brow at Steve. The poor blonde wanted to curl up and die in shame but Sam wasn't wrong.

Perhaps it was her determination and strong will that had attracted him. They were characteristics he was known for as Captain America but yet somehow her will was more powerful than his own.

It was one of the many things that he had loved her for. And one of the things that kept him going during the five years without her.

"Ugh. Can we please not talk about my niece like this?" Tony groaned, hating the idea of them sexualizing the girl he'd practically raised since she was a teen. Steve agreed, unsure how much longer he'd be able to stand them talking about her.

"Ooo, look. She's onto Thor now." Peter piped up pointing a finger toward Y/n as she made her way to the golden haired god. Yet the warning glare he received from Tony was enough to make him quiet again and he silently sunk back into the crowd behind them.

"I've got too many kids."

•••

"Thor!" Y/n cheered. Upon hearing his name, the Asgardian turned returning her smile with a brilliant grin. The flask in his hand was opened yet there was no flush to his face signaling he was either only mildly buzzed or close to it.

"Lady Y/n. I was beginning to wonder when you'd come around. I do cherish our time together." Thor's smile was kind and radiant but she couldn't help but think there was still one smile that could outshine even that of a god's.

"Oh, you know I'd never miss a kiss from you." Y/n returned the charm, allowing his arm to come around her waist, resting at a comfortable distance from her hips. Thor had been the most accepting of their games and never seemed to go through the confusion that the rest did. Or maybe that was just her.

"I was just telling Valkyrie of your little games. She finds them truly amusing. Perhaps I'll convince you to accept her into the tournament." Thor explained, gesturing the hand holding his flask toward Valkyrie.

"Well, it's not exactly a tournament, just a little fun to keep things interesting. You're welcome to join if you're up for it." Y/n smiled, offering a small nod of acceptance toward the warrior woman.

"A competition among women where men are the victims? Sounds like my kind of crowd." Valkyrie replied, an excited smile landing on her lips as the two woman shared a look of mutual approval.

"Wonderful." Thor praised, the joy in his tone seeming to radiate off of him, infecting Y/n with each passing second she was in his grasp. "Now Lady Wanda spoke of this night's challenge. I believe you have a suggestive comment in which to lift me yes?" He spoke, looking down at Y/n as she began to giggle uncontrollably.

"Yes, Thor. In return for the pick up line, I get a kiss. But only if you enjoy it." She recited the rules earning a heartfelt smile from him in return.

"If it is spoken by you I'm bound to enjoy it." He told her earnestly. There was something in the way he would speak that made a girl's knees weak and while Y/n was able to withstand it better than most, she wondered if he was striving for that reaction from her.

Y/n shook her head at him, giving him a half-hearted glare as she looked up at him. "Alright, here it goes." She warned him, taking his attentive gaze as a confirmation to continue.

"Hey, gorgeous. Was your father a thief? Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes." Before Y/n could even offer a wink or a smirk, thunderous laughter sounded from the man beside her, drawing the attention of everyone around them.

A flush of pink bloomed on her face, slightly embarrassed under the eyes of so many, especially Steve, yet she wasn't able to dwell on it for long as she was swept up into the air. Ever the enthusiast, Thor had excitedly boosted her into the air and spun her before allowing her feet to reach the ground again, a little unsteadily from how fast he'd acted.

"You've certainly lifted me, Lady Y/n." Thor told her, bringing her smile back as she regained her balance. "Are you ready for your kiss now?" He inquired, his hand resting comfortably on her waist as he insured she was still willing to welcome a kiss.

With a small nod she leaned up accepting his lips in a teasing yet modest kiss not unlike the one they'd shared before. They pulled away a moment later, smiling at each other as Thor's hand easily slipped away from her waist.

"I'm afraid I must send you off in order for you to return victorious." Thor said, a hint of reluctance in his tone yet in a taunting way similar to friendly banter.

"And that I shall. I'm the best, you know." Y/n declared. Valkyrie laughed beside her, lifting her own glass toward Y/n in a sort of cheers.

"For now. We'll see next time who's the best." Y/n clinked her empty glass with Valkyrie's nodding respectfully as she made a note to get more champagne.

"May the best woman win." Y/n smirked, oblivious to the eyes on her as she walked off toward the bar.

Part Two

[notyetneedcoffee]

Soul Seer, pt. 15

Loki Master List

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Warnings: just fluff!

Author’s Note: Takes place right after Avengers 1, with time travel elements and hints of Infinity Wars. Does NOT follow cannon after Avengers.

 Your fingers trailed along the steel frame of the wall of windows lining the walkway. Outside the sun gave the illusion of warmth, even though you knew it was cold. For the moment you aimlessly wondered, having free time before meeting with Steve and Natasha. You’d begun learning to fight a few months back.

Since staying at the Compound, Loki spent most of his days working with Banner, occasionally meeting over video conference in disguise with the other members of the worldwide team Stark put together to plan the energy migration. There was a lot of work to be done, and it needed to happen at human pace… or at least a Stark and Banner pace… because Loki was supposed to be dead.

A flash startled you from your musings. Out in the lawn now stood Thor, looking serious. His eyes moved quickly about, and when they landed on you a bright smile lit his face. Odd, you thought the windows were solid black from the outside.

Thor pointed to the end of the building. You knew a door led outside there, so you began to walk in that direction. His long strides allowed him to be inside and climbing the open stairs to the second floor. His booming voice echoed down the hall as soon as he saw you.

“Ah! Lady Y/N!” He smiled. “How fare you?”

“Well,” You accepted his warm hug. “I’m doing well here.”

“And my brother?”

“Way better than I ever would have thought.” Steve Rogers’ voice interjected from the stairs. “When did you get here?”

“Just now.” The two shared a back slapping greeting.

“Come on down,” Steve motioned to the elevator with a tilt of his head.

The three of you descended to the lower laboratories of the complex. You could see Bruce leaning against a work table, one arm wrapped around his middle and the other hand rubbing his forehead. Loki paced the room talking animatedly with his hands.

He wore your favorite dark green silk shirt. It always made you want to rub against him. You paused at the door, admiring his graceful strides. Bruce must have thought your hesitation was something else, because he waved you in and met you at the glass sliding door.

“We’re just on audio.” He spoke quietly.

Loki argued with someone on the line about power consumption. His voice, not his own, sounded higher and with a distinct eastern seaboard accent. “I can assure you, Mr. Archer, this solution is not a temporary one. The need for your power plants to run on fossils will be forever obsolete.”

“If you think we’re going to leave our shareholders hanging while…” The anger in the man’s voice was unmistakable.

“This guy just won’t buy in.” Bruce rolled his eyes.

Loki saw you and waved you closer. Your arms automatically slid around his waist as his right arm pulled you closer. His body language looked calm and relaxed. He felt calm and relaxed to you. However, his voice held an all to human tension when he spoke. “I don’t want to call in the Council, Mr. Archer.”

This set the man off again. Loki just grinned.

“I’ll be calling the Secretary of Energy and Senator Rowlins about this.”

“Please do.” Loki replied. “Let them explain it you. You need to remember we’re offering this five year transition period and incentive package so your shareholders won’t unduly suffer. But if you refuse to adapt your plant to the new technology obtained from the alien research, or some other form of renewable energy, you’ll just be forced out of the game.”

“Do not dictate to me, young man!”

“No, I’m just pointing out your choices. Adapt or die, that’s the way of things. You’re being offered good recompence and decent amount of time. The Council could just release this technology tomorrow. What would that do you shareholdings?” Loki grinned.

You absently rubbed you fingers over his silk clad stomach. He loved this, upsetting these people’s world order, causing chaos in their shelter selfish worlds. It fed his mischievous nature.

“You’ll be hear from our lawyers!”

“Can’t wait.” Loki touched a button, ending the call. He pressed his lips to your forehead. “Miss me, my pet?”

“Always.” You grinned.

Thor and Steve watched the two of you from the hall. Cap leaned a little closer, whispering. “I think he really likes making all these world industry leaders dance.”

“What is the Midgardian saying? He’s using his powers for good?” Thor whispered back.

Steve chuckled. “I s’pose.”

“I never thought I would see him so calm.” Thor mused.

“Oh, he gets in a rage, gets frustrated.” Steve buried his hands in his pockets. “But it blows over, and he keeps his word, and so long as she’s safe… that keeps him… balanced.”

Thor nodded, lifting a hand when Loki’s eyes turned to him. A frown crossed the darker brother’s face. He pulled away from you and walked out to the hall. You followed.

“Thor.”

“Brother.”

They stared at one another. Finally, you broke the silence. “What brings you around? Everything okay? Or is this just a social visit.”  

“Father asked me to come.” You felt Loki tense, but gave no indication as Thor continued. “Heimdall has been keeping his eyes on you and reporting on your activities.”

“If Heimdall is watching, then why send you?” He snapped.

“Loki.” You frowned, looking up at him. “Did you mean that to be as rude as it sounded?”

Thor’s brow arched in surprise. Steve bit his lip to hold back a grin, he learned chuckling at the way you corrected Loki was disastrous for everyone.

Loki looked down at your scowl and blew out air through his nose. “It’s old habits, I suppose.” He turned his eyes back to Thor, rewording his question. “So, what is it that Father wants?”

Though not an apology, the God of Thunder could scarcely believe his brother allowed you to admonish him, much less that he would heed your words. He knew the two of you shared a bond, knew that you’d touched each other’s minds. But, he could feel this was different.

“Perhaps we should discuss this in private.” Thor began to venture.

“You might as well spit it out, brother.” Loki rolled his eyes. “I’m not granted anything as privileged as privacy here.” Then he smirked. “Besides, there is no one in this company who would betray a trust.”

Thor crossed his arms and shrugged. “Father sent me, but it was a mother’s bidding.”

“What of mother?” Loki became instantly more in tune. You knew how he felt for her, knew how he missed her.

“She says something rare has occurred, says she can feel it in her magic.” Thor gave a lopsided grin. “Now that I’m here, I think she’s right.”

“What? Dammit, get to the point!”

“She says you’ve taken a mate.”

Loki’s mouth fell open. You and Steve looked at each other, confused. You never said in traditional words but no one doubted that you and Loki loved one another. So why was shock and confusion rolling through Loki’s mind.

“I don’t get it.” Banner looked between Thor and Loki.

“Our kind, our people, love and marry. It’s not unheard of, though they are not always monogamous. Even then there are exceptions, like our parents are now. But even early on, father was known to wander and mother had…”

“Don’t say that cretin’s name.” Loki scowled.

“But a mate,” Thor continued. “A pair that is tied together for the centuries of our lifetimes, is a rare thing. It is more common with the Alfheim, but it occurs with every race upon Yggdrasil. I don’t know if it was the touching of your minds, or if that was just a catalyst to what was destined to be, but I agree with mother. It’s true.”

A mixture of awe and elation filled you, only to be drowned in a crashing wave of sorrow and desperation. Your hand reached for Loki’s, and he gripped your fingers tightly. Tears filled your eyes as you tried to bite back a sob.

Steve said your name quietly, seeing the change.

You looked to him, tears falling silently. “I don’t have centuries. In what will seem like a blink of an eye, I will grow old and die and there’s nothing Loki can do to stop it.”

Cap’s face fell. He knew that heartache and would not wish it upon anyone, ever.

Thor’s strong hand gripped Loki’s shoulder. His other gently touched your cheek. “Do not do this. Do not mourn for what has not happen yet. Live joyously right now. I will tell Mother what I’ve seen. She will not allow such a tragedy to pass, especially when it’s within Father’s ability to prevent it.”

Loki gave him a sad smile. “I am sentenced to a century for my crimes. He’s not going to grant me an Apple with less than one in a hundred years served.”

“Mother is persuasive, you know better than most.” Thor beamed. “It may take a year, or five, or ten, but Mother and I will make Odin see what needs to be done.” Thor turned to you. “You understand of what we speak?”

The Apple of Immortality. You knew. Trying to weed through the bad memories of all the times Odin hurt and disappointed Loki, you searched for all the times Frigga’s influence worked upon their Father. Little concessions for the children to serious matters of state, she did hold sway over her husband. Suddenly you realized she held so much influence, that she used it sparingly as to not abuse it.

It might be okay after all.

You nodded slowly. “You mother is a formidable woman, kind, and she loves you both. Alright,” You smiled up at Loki, wiping your tears away. “There’s no point in wasting energy on worrying. You’re right, we live for today. But, Thor, we’re placing our trust in you.”

His big arms pulled you close, despite Loki’s growl, and he dropped a kiss into your hair. “I will not fail you, little sister. Mother is going to adore you.”

“Stop manhandling her,” Loki grumbled. “She is mine.”

You giggled, slipping from Thor’s bear hug and into Loki’s arms.

“How long are you staying?” Steve asked, not one hundred percent sure of the agreement, but satisfied that you were all happy.

“You need to tell her right way.” Loki answered at the same time Thor boomed “There is time to feast and celebrate!”

You squeezed Loki a little tighter. “We can wait a night. Maybe Thor will get you drunk and I’ll get to take advantage of you for a change.”

Loki’s eyes grew wide before he laughed heartily.

Yeah, you sighed, things were going to be alright.  

TAGS:

@1800-fight-me,  @abschaffer2 , @alexakeyloveloki , @archy3001 , @asgardianthot , @asiaaisa77 , @badassbaker , @bangtan-serendipity , @beautifullungs , @buchanansebba , @buckybarneshairpullingkink , @buckybarnesplumwhore , @buckybarnesplumwhore , @daughterofthenight117 , @dawnlaufeyson , @dsakita , @everything-is-awesomesauce , @fangasm202 , @geeksareunique , @girlmadeofivory , @girlmadeofivory , @imma-new-soul , @jesseswartzwelder , @jillilama-blog , @kalesrebellion , @kermittheshipper , @kiki5283 , @kneel-before-queen-loki , @lbouvet , @lovely-lollipops-blog , @messenough , @michelehansel , @mindtravelsx , @morganhoran1671 , @myownviperroom , @night-cereus , @notyourtypicalrose , @osric-the-l3m0n-l0v3-demon , @person-born-winchester , @rainbowkisses31 , @readermia , @rinthehufflepuff , @rogerrhqpsody , @rynabarnesrogers-reading , @sammghgecko , @scarlettsoldier , @sebbysstangirl , @sex-cee-seabasss , @sexyvixen7, @smokeandnailz , @tahiri-veyla , @theladybiers , @theneuropsychwriter , @the-omni-princess , @the-reading-octopus , @thorfanficwriter , @ultracolorfulnerdcollection , @ultrarebelheart , @unadulteratedwizardlove , @vanillabunn21 , @vintageroses1014516 , @vodka-and-some-sass , @wwe-fanfiction-queen , @neverending-space , @saiyanprincessswanie , @a–1–1–3​ , @peter-pan-hoe​

[ratsoh-writes]

Alright, this is my first time actually sending anything anonymous (or any ask to someone who isn’t a mutual) on Tumblr but guess ya gotta start somewhere, heh

I’m serious and cold to anyone who I don’t know well and I have a habit of being sarcastic whether when I’m annoyed or trying to joke around with people I’m unfamiliar with though with people I know well, I’m supportive and a lot more open to laughing and joking around. I have a blank resting face, really the only time I smile is when I have something to smile about.

I’m actually really protective of my friends. I have a difficulty discerning what’s rude and not, I’m blunt but I’m also very careful not to say anything that could hurt someone’s feelings (of course I don’t have the best judgement with that).

I don’t always express my emotions properly, I’ll storm out when I’m nervous which can make it look like I’m angry when I’m more scared than anything.

I have really bad anxiety, especially when it comes to anger, it doesn’t have to be directed at me. I panic relatively easily, it doesn’t matter if I’ve lost something or it’s a rude comment, it can be someone who’s close or whom I’ve never met. Unfortunately I tend to be a bit of a pushover when it comes to defending myself, I’ve gotten better, I have certain times where I will stand up for myself but for the most part I just panic.

This also transitions when talking to people I don’t know well, sometimes I’m either ‘eh’ or really awkward if I have to actually talk to them.

Likes:

I like to draw, write, video games (more turn based and relaxing ones rather than shooting games) and collect animal figurines (they just make me smile, I remember when my mom first got me one and I was immediately grinning). I absolutely love animals, I have my own smol doggo and kitty cat :) I myself am a cat person

Dislikes or pet peeves:

People who are loud (like all the time, I can handle someone who laughs loudly) or nosy. I’m also not a fan of being touched, especially when it just kinda… happens. Not a fan of sports overall

Deal breakers:

Somebody who gets mad quickly or one who can’t calm down and talk about it rather than yell. Also somebody who can’t respect that I don’t like being touched without being asked or even then I might say no. I’d like someone who’s level headed or relaxed, though will take situations seriously. Or somebody who forces me to go out

Some specific traits I’d prefer is someone who is patient yet stubborn and won’t take my ‘I don’t care’ as an answer cause that’s my answer to many things because of my anxiety and my fear of upsetting people. I’d also like someone who can read body language as well. They also need to be able to wait for like a minute for me to answer a question properly since I uh decide things rather slowly.

Weaknesses:

-I don’t talk about my feelings, not even to people who I trust and am really close to

-I panic a lot

-I’m easily irritated, though I don’t often act on my anger unless it’s pent up, doesn’t mean I don’t show it y’know… via body language

-I’m more of a pessimist than anything else

-I’m a perfectionist, I have to do something right

-I’m prone to burnout

-I don’t have a lot of patience when it comes to people, specifically to people who nag, are idiots, or just rude

Strengths:

-I can and will stand up for my friends

-I care deeply for my friends and family

-I’m not a very judgy person, like let people do what they want man

-I’d like to think I’m somewhat good at giving advice

-I actually have a lot more patience when it comes to animals, they can poop in the house or tear something up and I’d be more frustrated than I am mad at them

Tidbits:

-I have 0 stamina or strength

-Legit someone can gently punch me and it’d hurt for a solid 30 seconds

-Tickling makes me want to cry(?)

-A long conversation can leave me exhausted, I need time to recharge and that time can either be a couple of hours or up to two weeks

-I pace a lot which is mostly to zone out and go into my own fantasy world, I’ll either pace in silence or while listening to music

-I can't focus on a single task if I'm working, gotta be doin something at the same time like listening to music

I have freckles, I’m a sandy blonde which is almost light brown, and blue eyes. I’m really short lol, I’m 4’10

Alright, after a lot of consideration, I think the best fit for you would be…………ACE (mafiaswap sans)!

First of all, ace is literally a mafia boss. He been dealing with temperamental and jumpy people his whole life. Your personality when he first meets you won’t phase him at all. And ace is just the right amount of patience and persistence to befriend anyone!

Ace is also very observant and witty. His whole job is to charm the pants off of people and make them relax. He’s great at picking up those signals for when you’re feeling uncomfortable. And it doesn’t take him long to figure out which buttons to push to help you loosen up. He’s not an enabler though. Ace does care about his loved ones and will insist on them stepping out of their comfort zones once in a while. He knows their limits though and is good about not pushing them. This is the main reason I picked him over second choice.

Ace is no stranger to video games. They aren’t necessarily his favorite thing, but he can be convinced to play with you. He does it plenty for his little brothers slim and bruiser.

He tends to show his affection more in acts of service and verbally rather than touch. And words mean a lot to him. He doesn’t except you to bear your soul to him all the time, but he would want to hear an “I love you” sometimes

Ace with a SO can be pretty playful. He likes leaving silly notes in his SOs pockets to find later, or sneaking mini treats or gifts into their room. It keeps them on their toes and gives him a chance to be stealthy.

If you’re curious, second choice would’ve been wine

[takonei]

Beta AU - Main story, Chapter 4, deadly life (Part 7)

Note of the author: CHAPTER 4, THE END. Sheesh, that was long, but extremely worth it to me.

How did a deadly life part ended up as long as a daily life part, though?

Chapter 4: Dance, dance, hanged puppets - Deadly life

...

The silence in the courtroom was deafening.

Out of all the people here, Kiyo was the one Shuichi expected the less to kill.

And it seems everyone was thinking the same.

Shuichi knew he shouldn't judge on appearances, but... That was still really hard to believe.

"Kiyo..." he muttered. "Why...?"

He took a deep breath. It was clear he felt at least some regret in his actions.

"There's... A lot to explain. Perhaps it should be better to answer one question at a time." he glanced at Shuichi.

They all exchanged looks, aside from the medic, still looking at the void.

"... Was Tsumugi your target, or could I have been the victim had I been unlucky enough?" Kirumi broke the silence.

Kiyo shook his head. "Tsumugi was the one I wanted to outsmart, whether her locks were in the main building or not. I would have found a way if one of them was somewhere else."

Shuichi frowned. "Outsmart?"

The choice of words felt wrong. He was the blackened after all. He was a killer, in some way.

"That's... The second point, actually." he replied. "To be frank..."

"My intention was never to kill Tsumugi."

His eyes widened. "What do you-"

"Don't fuck with us." Rantaro approached him, and despite his short stature, grabbed him by the collar and pulled him down to face him.

"You're telling us you prepared all of this bullshit by yourself, not to kill Tsumugi?"

"Rantaro, let him go." Ryoma put a hand on his shoulder but he slapped it away.

"You're in no position to talk, Ryoma. I've been personally dealing with the both of you for the past two hours. You don't get to tell me what I have the right to ask or not."

Shuichi started feeling the same uneasiness from earlier.

"Let him talk, Rantaro. Kiyo doesn't seem to be lying." Kirumi approached them.

The two pairs of green eyes stared at each other, the others wondering which one from the fierce war medic or the cold mercenary would back down first.

"... Fine." Rantaro let go of Kiyo, who readjusted his collar.

"I know this is hard to believe, but I did not intend to kill Tsumugi. I promise. My intention was not even to escape."

Kokichi nervously fiddled with his sleeves. "I'm confused... Why did you prepare all of this then? You knew Tsumugi would get executed, right?"

He stayed silent for a moment. "I know this will sound absurd to you, now that she is gone and that the trial is over but my real goal..."

"... Was to expose her as the mastermind of this killing game."

...

...

What?

"You... Y-You can't be serious..." Kaito stuttered.

"Why would Tsumugi be the mastermind??" Miu exclaimed, to which Kiyo flinched a little.

Even Rantaro seemed to be astonished by his words.

"I had my theories. I had observed you all throughout the game. And Tsumugi being the mastermind was the conclusion that seemed the most reasonable to me."

"I spent so much time studying people's reactions. So much time studying your reactions. And even the most stoic of all of you showed signs of genuine regret and disgust."

"All of you... Except for Tsumugi."

Shuichi had noticed the lack of empathy she had shown. Even when looking at Himiko's corpse. Even when Kaito learned he was the one responsible for Keebo's death. Even when Kokichi completely broke down during the third trial. Up until her death, she had shown almost no signs of trust nor empathy towards anyone.

Was she simply that distrustful?

Rantaro stayed silent. He was waiting for him to continue his explanations.

"To be honest, after Angie's death I felt... guilty." he admitted. "I had talked to Angie. I knew she had issues. The anger she held against the people that hurt her, that rage that turned out to be the bloodlust disease... I ignored it. Because I thought she was redeemable. Because I thought I could bring her back to the path of reason. I had every reason to believe she had the disease, and I ignored it."

Kokichi looked at him with wide eyes.

But they were not filled with anger.

"After her death, I dedicated all my time to judge who was the most likely to be the mastermind, to expose them and end this madness."

He held onto the notebook on his side. "I had written all my observations about you all. I had doubts greater on some than others. But overall, Tsumugi was the most likely candidate to me."

"So your solution was to stay silent about it and act on your own?" Rantaro raised an eyebrow, his monotonous voice sending chills.

Kiyo looked down. "I grew... desperate. I realized long ago the mastermind was not someone we could resonate with. When Monokuma announced the motive, I knew this was my chance."

"I had a way to expose her as the mastermind without killing her."

Shuichi frowned. "What do you mean?"

"My reasoning was that if I made her break a rule, Monokuma would have to come to execute her. But if she was the mastermind, he wouldn't do anything to her. He would find an excuse or just anything like he always does, but he wouldn't kill her."

The violinist's eyes widened. That was actually solid reasoning... If Tsumugi was the mastermind.

"So I prepared everything. I put everything in place to make her break the rule of the motive. And it worked. However..."

He paused.

"... When Monokuma came in with the exisal, I realized my mistake. I realized I had targeted the wrong person. And I realized she would die even though she was innocent. And all of this by my fault."

Shuichi looked away.

"There were several reasons why I didn't decide to simply kill her. Most are obvious but I feel like I should add that... Rantaro, you were right on one point."

He raised an eyebrow. "On what, exactly?"

"I didn't know I would become the blackened for this. Since Monokuma was adamant about the rules, I thought he would count this as an execution. Not a murder."

Kirumi raised a hand. "Hold on, you didn't know?"

"Do you really think I would ask Monokuma if preparing a plan to expose the mastermind would backfire and make me the blackened?"

...

Silence.

"... As I said earlier, my goal was not to escape. I still wanted to help you guys in case the plan went wrong. I don't have a better reason to escape than any of you. And as a therapist, my role was to help you with this."

Miu, Kaito, and Shuichi exchanged glances. They had seen his motive video- about his sister who had gone borderline insane. A sister he really cared about and yet... That never convinced him to kill one of them.

"In that case..." Miu nervously fiddled with her overall. "Why... didn't you say anything?"

He looked away. "I... I wanted to."

Shuichi frowned. "But... You couldn't? Why?"

"Someone..." he slightly turned to Monokuma. "... forbade me from doing so."

"I knew it."

Everyone turned to Ryoma.

"I knew something was off. I knew there was a reason behind all this."

Kaito frowned. "What do you mean? I thought you two were accomplices! Did you two not work on this together??"

The weapons maker shook his head. "I thought we already established that. I never helped Kiyo commit the murder. I only helped him during the trial."

Shuichi thought back at Kiyo's words.

"Yes, right now we are working together. So if what you want is answers on the blackened, then ask the both of us."

He specified 'right now'. He didn't think much of it back then but... Why?

"Then why did you help him?" Rantaro glared at him. "If you knew he couldn't admit his crime, why didn't you say it yourself and instead made this trial continue for that long?"

The smaller man cracked his knuckles. "I could have told you the truth. But there is one thing that bothered me in all of this."

He turned to Monokuma and pointed his finger at him.

...

No.

He wasn't pointing his finger at the bear. He was pointing right above him. Right behind him.

The clock.

"... This. Was the problem."

They had been talking about this for a long time, and they still didn't have an answer.

"I figured out pretty quickly that Kiyo was the culprit actually. I didn't witness him connecting the cables, but the moment we established the culprit had messed with the building, I knew it was him who started the fire." He explained.

"However I knew there must have been a reason why he didn't say anything. And that's when I noticed he was checking the clock a lot. So I did as well."

"I realized the clock had a function related to him. Then you put two and two together, you check when the quieter alarm rings, and you get the full mystery uncovered."

"The clock was not a simple piece of decoration. It was a timer Kiyo had to keep track of. He couldn't admit his crime, and had to make this trial last for as long as humanly possible."

"Did I get it right?"

...

There was a long silence.

How did he uncover those things so fast??

Kiyo looked down. "... Yes."

"Actually, I could have directly admitted my crime whenever I desired, but..."

He sighed.

"... I don't even know what I can or cannot say about this."

Did this have anything to do with Monokuma still?

"Puhuhuhu... Then perhaps indeed, it will be better if *I* explain!" the bear exclaimed.

Eyes turned on him, he grinned.

"You see, I knew Mr eyepatch would immediately admit his crime to you all. Such a noble soul... However, how boring would that be! I could not let such an interesting class trial go to waste!"

"So I only made a simple deal with him. I didn't force him to do anything! He was free of choice after all! The only requirement was to last at least an hour."

Those words made Shuichi wince.

He only cared about those trials.

Even if it meant blackmailing the culprit themselves.

"And if he somehow didn't manage to make the trial last for less than an hour..."

"... Let's just say I would have made this motive stay, along with the next motive at the same time!"

"I still sense bullshit." Rantaro spat. "If your only requirement was to last for an hour, why didn't you say it after the first alarm?"

The therapist stayed silent. "... I wish I could tell you everything that deal included. I really do."

... So there was more to this.

But what?

Kiyo was condemned to silence.

He would have to take this secret to the grave.

"I was thinking back about the ladder and stuff..." Kaito frowned. "Why did you leave the rope?"

"I didn't."

Shuichi perked up. "Huh?"

"I did hide the ropes in the barrels. I didn't leave anything in Gonta's lab, I know it."

"Then who put it back?" Miu waved a hand.

The therapist turned to the bear. "... You did, didn't you?"

"Puhuhu... Such accusations!" Monokuma laughed. "But yes, I did think it would spice up the day~"

He doesn't even know if this was a good thing or not.

But Monokuma still messed with them, although it didn't have anything to do with a crime scene.

They could never catch a break.

"But... Ryoma..." Kokichi muttered. "If you were not Kiyo's accomplice... That means you didn't want us to vote wrong, then?"

He saw Rantaro slightly perking up.

"... No. I would have ratted out Kiyo if Monokuma started the vote out of the blue."

Kiyo let out a sigh of relief. "... I'm glad you didn't fully take my side, even though I am more than grateful for your help during this trial."

He looked at him. "Whatever your motive may have been I wouldn't have changed my goals."

"I've chosen who I'm fighting for, after all."

Did he mean... them?

He discretely glanced at Rantaro- the one he had said that to earlier.

He was unreadable.

The medic had thought he had betrayed him but... That was never the case, was it?

Everything Ryoma said during the trial, all the times he went silent...

They all thought the two were accomplices, one offering his life for the other, but...

Ryoma simply had one step ahead from everyone else.

He was way smarter than Shuichi gave him credit for.

The group was surrounded by silence once again.

"Rantaro."

The therapist looked at the green-haired boy, who didn't seem to react.

"I know I am not in the right to say this and I don't deserve your forgiveness but... I'm sorry."

"I never intended this trial to go the way it did."

Perhaps it was a little late to say that.

Rantaro didn't move. He kept staring at the void, not a single hint of emotion on his face.

"What I fail to understand..." he finally looked at him again. "... Is how you managed to come to the conclusion that Tsumugi was the mastermind just because she didn't express any emotions."

"I will admit that by growing desperate, I made decisions way too quickly. This is something I take full responsibility for."

He lifted his head up. "But that was not the only thing that made me think that was the case."

Shuichi raised an eyebrow. "And... What did?"

"Her actions made me think she was hiding a lot more than she let know, and I figured out it was far from impossible for her to be the mastermind. But you see, I also studied the motive carefully. Or more accurately..."

"The locks' placements."

What did it have to do with anything?

"Everyone followed approximately the same pattern, even though we never communicated explicitly the spots where all the locks were."

"Tsumugi, however, didn't follow the pattern."

A pattern?

"Everyone, most of the time, had one lock in the main building, and one somewhere else, whether it was outside or in one of the other labs."

"But Tsumugi's locks were always in the main building."

He thought back at the last few days.

...

"One should be in my lab. The other in the library."

-

"Both of my locks are inside." Tsumugi declared. "I understand the need to get your locks, but I will have to get mine as well."

...

He didn't know where the locks on the second day were, but it indeed felt strange.

What did that mean?

"I figured something was off. But since I thought she was the mastermind, it made sense to me."

"It made sense that the mastermind would put their locks close to each other. The traps could target them as well, so putting them close to the dormitories would make them take fewer risks."

That... Actually made sense.

But why would the locks be somewhere she could easily access? What would the mastermind gain from this?

Rantaro stared at him for a moment.

"What I understand from your story..."

"... Is that whoever is in charge of this shitshow played you like a marionette."

Shuichi's eyes widened.

"What do you mean?"

He quickly regretted saying that as he felt the powerful green gaze on him.

"Kiyo had doubts about Tsumugi. The mastermind knew. He grew desperate to end this game. The mastermind knew as well. They put on the perfect scene for Kiyo to act the way he wants and strengthening his doubts about her." He looked back at the therapist. "All I'm saying is that the mastermind played with your emotions and used you to kill off Tsumugi."

"Which is exactly what she meant by her last words."

"I knew the mastermind was coming for me anyway."

...

Of course the mastermind wouldn't act directly.

Of course they wouldn't orchestrate the plan themselves.

Of course they would use one of them to execute their plan.

How easy had they played them?

The others looked at Rantaro in awe. He was unreadable as he said those words.

"That's hard to swallow, but that's the truth."

Kiyo's eye widened. "I..."

...

Silence.

"... Ironic, isn't it? I should have seen that coming and yet I didn't."

Shuichi winced. If the mastermind managed to manipulate the ultimate therapist of all people that easily, what did they even mean to them?

Where they nothing but dolls for them to manipulate as they please?

This trial only proved their ability to ray someone off the list without any consequences for them.

That feeling made his skin crawl.

...

Now that he thought about it, Tsumugi was probably not their only target.

After all, Kiyo was the ultimate therapist. He knew how to deal with others' issues and how to read people.

Eliminating the therapist and the prodigy in one go was the perfect plan for the mastermind.

And none of them saw it coming.

He felt sick just thinking about it.

Did that mean the mastermind judged him not useful enough to be killed off...?

He should be happy but couldn't bring himself to be even remotely glad he would not become their killing tool that soon.

Hard to pin down and hard to manipulate into killing- whoever their target was, they were able to use them for their own entertainment, and how it suited them.

They had no control over anything in this game, hadn't they?

Kiyo took a deep breath. Even if he wasn't showing it, it was clear that every single cell in his body regretted doing this.

From the plan, to the trial to just everything.

"... I am not asking any of you to forgive me, but I wish to tell you one thing."

They turned to him, all visibly upset and worried.

"You are strong. If this motive proved one thing to me, it's that you all are very strong. You have shown to be willing to change for the best, to move on and face this atrocious game head-on."

"Even those I considered weaker when I first met them have been getting stronger and stronger by the day."

"You have shown to be capable of relying on others, even if the circumstances are not the best."

"I know you can end this game. There is still a lot you have to learn, but there is so much you can do now. Do not think any of you haven't changed, because I gradually noticed your efforts."

He glanced at Kokichi and Kaito. "Most of you have made the first step, which is the most difficult task."

Then Miu. "I've seen you caring for each other like your own family, and this is something I find truly admire."

Then Rantaro, Ryoma and Kirumi. "Conversely, do not think you have to show strength all the time. Even if you consider yourself to be the one having to protect others, do not think you are not allowed to depend on them."

And finally... Shuichi. "And whatever happens, you are not in any way, shape, or form 'not enough'. As long as you balance caring about your own well being with those of others, I know you can surpass this."

He arbored an empty smile. "I have been letting this game get to me more than I thought I would." His smile dropped. "And Tsumugi has paid the price. It's a crime I shall never be forgiven for and that I will never apologize enough for."

A silence.

"... But perhaps I can still help you with this."

He took out his notebook, approaching the violinist.

"Shuichi, you are the one I trust the most. Those are all the observations I gathered about everyone. Those are not classified information, and share them with the others if you wish to. I trust you with your decision."

He handed him the notebook. Shuichi took it carefully, gently touching the cover.

"Thank you. I'll take good care of it."

Miu stepped forward. "Kiyo..."

She paused.

"I still have trouble believing you did this. But what I do know is that you helped me a lot after... the incident. I'm grateful you gave me a second chance and offered me ways to change. I've been feeling better these past few days and it's thanks to you."

Kokichi nodded. "I didn't have the chance to talk to you a lot, but... I appreciate what you did to help us... And I... I do not hate you for not realizing Angie had the despair disease back then. It's not something you could have prevented after all... I do wish things were different but I know better than to hate you for this."

Shuichi looked up to him. "I should also thank you for everything you did for me. I'm... I'm really glad I got to meet you, Kiyo."

There was a silence Kiyo looked at them, dumbfounded.

"... Thank you. I am glad I got to meet you all as well."

Even though he tried to smile, he looked nervous and sorry.

After all, everyone knew what was coming.

He turned to the bear.

"Monokuma, I am ready."

Shuichi felt his heart skip a beat. "No-"

"Well then, let's give it everything we've got! It's... PUNISHMENT TIIIME!"

He turned back to them.

"Thank you... for everything."

Monokuma pressed the button with the hammer.

GAME OVER

Korekiyo has been found guilty.

Time for the punishment!

(BGM)

When Korekiyo opened his eye, he looked around to see that he was standing in an empty place where all the walls, the ceiling, and the ground were painted white.

He only had the time to look around once before he saw a knife being shot at him out of nowhere- the knife barely missing its target.

He looked around to see several holes in the walls ready to shoot more at him.

A noise was heard from behind him, and when he turned around, he saw a door opening, leaving access to an empty white corridor.

The only eventual chance of surviving was by running here.

White blade, scarlet fate Ultimate therapist Korekiyo Shinguji's execution: Executed

He sprinted across the white hallway, multiple knives shot at him from the walls. He couldn't see where he was running as he hit the wall- and receiving a knife in the leg as well, blood sprinkling on the white wall.

Because of the lighting, it was hard to distinguish what was a wall and what was free space.

But he kept running and running, getting more knives cutting him spreading more blood on the walls and floor.

He doesn't know for how long he had been running before...

*shtack*

A knife was shot from the wall, piercing his left eye- his remaining eye.

He screamed in agony, getting the knife off.

But he was still alive.

He ran as fast as a blind man could, a hand in front of him to make sure he didn't run into a wall.

He kept running as more and more knives cut him from all sides.

Running, not knowing if he could even get out.

Running, knowing full well what his fate would be.

But he refused to give up, even if he became the target of ten, twenty, fifty knives, he wouldn't give up. He would continue, a hand on his left eye, feeling the warm blood flow down his cheek.

But as knives lodged themselves onto him -although he could only feel the pain of his wounds and the blood escape his body-, he felt more and more exhausted.

And before he knew it, he slowed down, letting more and more knives cutting him, until he finally dropped on the floor.

Something he hadn't realized because of his blindness was how the walls were painted.

He may have run for what felt like hours, but the walls surrounding him were still the same, becoming more and more tainted of pink each time he passed around them.

He ran blindly, not realizing the corridors were forming a loop, leaving him no chance to escape.

Korekiyo Shinguji, the ultimate therapist, was dead.

Shuichi kept staring at the screen, his hands on his mouth.

Kokichi and Ryoma were looking away.

Kaito and Miu kept staring at the screen with shock- much like him.

Kirumi was less emotional, but he could see her uneasiness.

As for Rantaro... He was still staring at the screen emotionlessly.

Ever since Ryoma was revealed not to have betrayed him, he was unreadable.

...

They had lost yet another friend.

He didn't even know what to think anymore.

Was there a mastermind?

Was there not?

Was someone among them simply the best actor one could ever be?

He didn't know.

They were not more advanced than before.

Were they even going somewhere?

He snapped out of his thoughts when Rantaro turned around to leave without a word.

"Rantaro. We need to talk for a sec." Ryoma looked at him.

He stopped in his tracks.

"..."

"There is nothing to say, Ryoma."

"You accomplished your job perfectly. You're not the one in the wrong here."

A long silence.

"... I'm sorry."

Shuichi could only barely hear him as he continued making his way to the elevator alone. He doesn't even know if Ryoma or anyone else heard him.

The others stared at him, unable to say a word.

What happened earlier... They couldn't get it out of their heads.

The desperate yells from Rantaro, the way he reacted to everything, the way he acted like a completely different person...

There was a lot Rantaro wasn't telling them.

Perhaps even more than they could ever imagine.

He had listened to Kiyo earlier but... Was he really going to follow his advice?

He didn't know.

He didn't know anything.

"I... think we should go back to our rooms..." Miu suggested, looking down.

He nodded.

But as they took the elevator, Shuichi remembered something.

He took out the notebook Tsumugi gave him before her death.

Something about it bothered him- something that was written on one of the last pages.

The others stepped out of the elevator. It was dark outside, but Shuichi could still read the pages.

"Hey, this might be an odd request, but can I ask you guys something?"

Ryoma broke the uncomfortable silence, yet he was not facing anyone.

"W-What is it?" Kokichi asked.

"... Don't get mad at Rantaro for what happened in the trial."

Shuichi perked up.

"Huh?"

"Look." He turned to them. "He... Probably has a lot on his mind right now. Getting mad at him isn't going to do any good."

"I get ya but..." Kaito replied. "He kinda snapped at you, y'know? Shouldn't you be upset?"

The weapons maker looked down for a moment. "You're right. But I don't blame him."

How could Ryoma stay so calm?

"His moral codes are very strict, especially towards himself. And treachery is the biggest disgrace a soldier could ever do. So I don't blame him for snapping at me back then."

Soldier this, soldier that...

What kind of lives were those two living back before the game?

"R-Right..." Miu muttered. "But still... I'm worried about him."

Shuichi looked away. No matter how much Ryoma told them not to blame him, he had been cautious of Rantaro for a while now.

Ever since...

He couldn't even think about it without getting chills again.

Those bright green eyes staring deep into his soul, a cold blade under his throat, and a forceful hand pushing back his chin as he was pinned to the ground.

He shook his head to try and forget the thought.

"Let's just get back to the dorms. We all need rest." Kirumi broke the silence. "We'll think more rationally tomorrow."

He nodded. They started walking back in silence.

Shuichi took back the notebook to read the last few pages.

His eyes scanned the words despite the darkness.

...

...

"Huh?"

He stopped in his tracks to make sure he read the part just right.

The others stopped as well.

"What's up? Is that... Tsumugi's notebook?" Kaito asked.

"I need... I need to make sure I didn't misunderstand anything..."

His eyes scanned the last lines again.

...

H-How?

"Come on! Don't leave us in the dark! What's in there?" Miu exclaimed.

...

He did read that right.

Why? What was the point of all this?

"It's... Did she..." he stuttered.

"What is written in it?" Kirumi asked.

He paused for a second.

"It's... Tsumugi's last entry in the notebook..."

Ryoma narrowed his eyes. "What did she find out?"

Shuichi looked back at the notebook.

"It's... About Keebo."

Kaito frowned. "What do you mean?"

Finding the right words was hard.

"Perhaps... I should read this part in its entirety."

-

Day 15.

This is wrong. This is so wrong. This doesn't make any sense. Or does it? I don't know anymore.

By investigating this I should have known the risks. I should have known my life was in danger the second I started doing this.

I've been investigating Keebo's death for days now.

Everything looked strange. This wasn't a normal death. We had far from enough clues to guess what happened for him to die. And yet Monokuma insisted that we investigate this. And with the little we had, it's impossible to reach a satisfying conclusion. And I'm pretty sure Monokuma wanted this.

So after the trial, I've spent my days studying robotics to try and understand what exactly went wrong. I've read those books over and over, I've been trying to hide my studies, but to be honest, I think they're getting suspicious of me. Which means I have to pretend I trust them for now. I can't reveal this. Not until I get to know more about what is going on.

And with everything I've gathered, I know more. I don't know everything, I don't have the truth, but it's a lot more than what we had in the trial.

Kaito's maintenance might have done something to him, but I don't know. The maintenance was not about his program. After all, Kaito is a biker, and he might not be as smart as Rantaro nor I, but he has enough common sense not to touch parts he doesn't know about. And besides, I don't think there was even a way to touch his program. The computer room has never been used, so I doubt anyone had the opportunity to do anything.

The flashback lights modified his program but they don't have anything to do with the physical body. Those parts are not connected in the slightest. Which means you can sabotage one, and yet the other will still be intact. And if the flashback lights didn't do anything physical, that means they don't have anything to do with his death.

In other words...

... Kaito's maintenance didn't kill Keebo. Kaito was never the blackened of this case in the first place.

Monokuma lied to us. He gave us a fake judgment. He should not have hesitated one second to tell us we're wrong. But if he did pretend that Kaito's maintenance killed Keebo, then something or someone else related to him did.

Someone sabotaged Keebo and killed him by using means we don't have access to.

And that someone is probably the mastermind themselves.

I know they are coming for me at this point. I know I will probably not survive much longer.

So if anyone finds this journal, or if I give this to anyone, this is my last request.

Investigate Keebo's death.

That's how you are going to find out the truth.

-

"What???" Kaito yelled. "I was... I was innocent the whole time??"

"Hold on, let me see this shit!" Miu approached Shuichi to read the notebook. "No way..."

"The mastermind? But... Why would they kill Keebo?" Kokichi asked.

"Monokuma rendered a fake judgment. There is no doubt about it." Kirumi crossed her arms. "Which means he was ready to execute Kaito if Himiko wasn't the first victim."

Kaito turned to her. "I could have died thinking I was the culprit??"

Ryoma approached Shuichi as well to look at the notebook. "... There's no doubt about it now. Kaito was innocent. And we were right to think a small maintenance mistake couldn't have killed Keebo."

"But I don't get it!" Kokichi exclaimed. "I thought Monokuma wanted us to find the truth about Keebo's death!"

Kirumi frowned. "He must have wanted us to reach this fake conclusion so the mastermind could get away with it. At the very least Kaito was not executed for a crime he didn't commit."

"We're talking about my life here! I could have died!"

Miu looked at him. "You dodged a serious bullet here..."

Shuichi looked back at the words written in the notebook.

"This... Is why the mastermind wanted to kill off Tsumugi?"

Ryoma looked down. "I think so. She knew way too much, and since they knew Kiyo doubted her, they used him to kill her so she wouldn't reveal the truth."

This was... So wrong.

But he was glad they found out.

At least that would lift a weight off Kaito's shoulders.

To know he actually wasn't the cause of someone's death.

They had a lot to talk about.

Tsumugi was right. They had to investigate Keebo's death.

The game had lasted for far too long.

But now, they had hope. Hope to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

They could do it.

They could end this killing game.

--

"..."

"I am never doing this type of shit ever again."

"This whole motive was a mistake."

"At least Tsumugi and Korekiyo are out of the way, now."

"..."

"But hey, I still got what I wanted."

"7 done, 0 left."

[roxasboxas]

An Exhaustive Post About WHY I Hate Eraqus So Fucking Much

*back on my bullshit voice* so the thing about Eraqus, right

We don’t see a lot of him, so when analyzing him we have to focus on his impact on other characters. And the first thing to note is how a lot of people in canon consider him pretty great, for whatever reason. But, again, we don’t see him being much of anything. So, his lasting effects on other characters are where it’s at.

Terra

Terra doesn’t display any actual skill when it comes to being able to tell who’s trustworthy.

Some of it comes from him not having grown up on Disney movies like we have, but even then a lot of the people he falls in with over the course of BBS are pretty blatantly suspicious. A lot of people put this on him as a personal failing, but I’d argue that a good deal of that falls on Eraqus, his fucking teacher-dad who was supposed to help keep him safe and know how to keep himself safe.

Although, in all fairness, this may be a skill Eraqus lacks, too, as he hangs out with Xehanort.

Still, though, Terra seems to trust people (especially authority figures) with an almost unnatural absoluteness in most circumstances (ie, any time outside of that scene where he saves Ven from Eraqus), which plays into my next point.

Terra is ridiculously hard on himself.

Terra: *makes one mistake while acting in self defense* Terra, literally: “I can never go home” (in the scene it’s a bit more obvious, but it’s implied that his thought process is that Eraqus would never accept him home after, yknow, him making a literal mistake)

Xehanort kills Eraqus, but who does Terra blame? His own damn self, to the point of telling Aqua that he Terra killed Eraqus, rather than that Xehanort who literally killed Eraqus did it.

Where did Terra’s darkness come from, anyways?

We don’t really have a solid idea of how hearts and light and darkness work in Kingdom Hearts (despite how often they’re brought up) but darkness at least seems to be pretty heavily sourced from negative emotions (Ansem SOD possessing Riku via him being upset about Sora not needing him, Vanitas’ entire character, etc.)

So. Terra’s darkness. Terra has enough negative emotion for it to apparently be a palpable problem that we are concerned about. Like, does he have a genetic predisposition to depression or anxiety or something? Are there any therapists in the Land of Departure? What’s going on there

Terra has so much going on emotionally that he literally gets possessed. He needs some milk therapy

Aqua

Aqua is the golden child and the eldest daughter and it. fucks. her. up.

She’s two years younger than Terra but she’s taking the Mark of Mastery at the same time as him. Did she just start at the same time as him? Why did she start so young? this is ridiculous

She absolutely puts herself in a caretaker role (definitely to a higher degree with Ven, but also with Terra at times). Her fellow apprentices are almost more her responsibility than Eraqus’ at times, which should absolutely not be the case. My girl is 18 in BBS she is too young to be raising a 16y/o boy and a 20y/o man.

What parental stuff does Eraqus do on screen? “Terra, you are like a son to me” fuckin act like it then

If anything Eraqus encourages this thought process and behavior when he tells her to keep an eye on Terra as he sends the two of them off to punch monsters. This aint healthy man. shut up

Even when she’s hanging out in the realm of darkness for a hot decade her focus is less on taking care of herself and more on getting back to Terra and Ventus because she feels so obligated to take care of them

She’s only IN the realm of darkness in the first place because she hopped in to save Terra, who was kind of. hella possessed and evil at the time.

I feel like this actually shows up in her game mechanics as well. She’s a glass cannon. She’s out here solving other peoples problems and killing monsters like a champ but shes got no health bc shes not taking care of her own needs.

All of Aqua’s problems really fall under that one category but hoo boy it is a doozy huh

Ventus

im going back and getting the exact dialogue for this part because holy shit

Eraqus: “Ventus, you’re alone? I thought Aqua would-- Well, what matters is that you’re home. You don’t belong outside this world yet. You need to stay here, where you can learn--” Ventus: “In your prison?” Eraqus: “What?” Ventus: “That’s your excuse... for keeping me imprisoned here, isn’t it?” Eraqus: “What did you hear?” Ventus: “That I’m supposed to be some weapon... Some kind of... ‘X-blade”!” Eraqus: “I knew it. Xehanort-- He could never let it go.” [pause for flashback] Eraqus: “I failed. I had the chance to stop him and couldn’t do it. But I will not fail again.” [Eraqus summons his fucking keyblade to kill a child] Ventus: “Master! What are you...” Eraqus: “The X-Blade has no place in this or any world. Xehanort has made his purpose clear... and I am left with no choice. Forgive me... But you must exist no more.” [Terra steps in and saves Ventus.] Eraqus: “What?” Terra: “Master, have you gone mad?” Eraqus: “Terra! I command you-- step aside!” Terra: “No!” Eraqus: “You will not heed your Master?” Terra: “I won’t!” Eraqus: “Why do all my attempts to reach you fail?” [side note: this is its own fuckin loaded statement but its in terms of his effect on Terra’s own self doubt rather than what Ventus is up to] “If you don’t have it in your heart to obey... then you will have to share Ventus’s fate.” [Terra and Eraqus begin to fight] Ventus: “Enough, Terra! He’s right...”

Or, tl;dr, Ven literally believes he should fuckin die just bc Eraqus said so. What the FUCK

Ventus: hey did you know about this Eraqus: yes. die Ventus: shit ok

Things to keep in mind:

Ventus has about 4 years of cumulative memory due to magic heart shenanigan induced amnesia

Eraqus was technically responsible for him this whole time, and claimed to Ventus (getting Terra and Aqua to lie about this, BY THE WAY) that this had been the arrangement since forever.

Xehanort and Yen Sid

Xehanort

Okay, we can’t blame Eraqus for Xehanort being evil as shit and we’re probably gonna get more info on that in the new Xehanort game, but. Eraqus fucking cheats at fantasy chess. Probably didn’t contribute that much to Xehanort’s darkness problem, sure, but probably didn’t help at all, either.

Yen Sid

Dude just lives in his tower. doing jack shit. making Sora and Riku teach themselves during their final exam. Making Merlin teach Kairi and Lea. do something my guy you’re irrevocably caught up anime drama anyways

this is the joke section. to lighten the mood after talking about the whole child murder thing

And then Eraqus had literally no direct effect on anyone else in the whole ass series. His entire impact was literally negative. I hate him

[supergenial]

Cindered Shadows was pretty decent

I recently finished the Cindered Shadows DLC and decided to once again write about my impressions, don't worry though, this one isn't as long as the previous ones. Spoilers: I think this is as good as fire emblem is gonna get for a while.

1) No Agarthans, thank GOD

A story as old as fire emblem: There's an interesting human villain with down to earth motivations or obsessions, but in the large scale of the story they're overshadowed by a supernatural being who wants to destroy the world for no reason other than "they're just evil". This is Edelgard and the Agarthans, Arvis and Manfroy/Loptous, Rudolph and Duma, Ashnard and Ashera, Walhart and Grima... you get it. This shit sucks to put it bluntly. Having these stereotypically evil bad guys who are clearly evil is one of the main things that brings down the plot of any fire emblem game. I'm of the belief that they should kick out these supernatural villains and just leave us against the human villains, the one's with actual ideals and beliefs other than "hurr durr, destroy the world".

And then there’s our villain for this DLC. Now yes, it feels like they recycled a certain professor from the Harry Potter series, but I like that he is "The" bad guy for the DLC, he's not being controlled by anyone. He's obsessed with Byleth's mom and in-game this makes a lot of sense. If Byleth, who is incapable of communication, can drive people crazy for them just by existing then just imagine a Byleth who can actually talk. Her "waifu" charms must be off the charts, so I can't blame this guy for being obsessed. More importantly he's not being controlled by the Agarthans, he's not being played by anyone. He's a man who's lived a righteous life, he took care of a lot of people who all love him but ultimately decided to use them for his own gain and his own obsessions. As far as FE villains go... He's good, honestly, great job Intelligent Systems, I expected a lot less.

2) Reduced avatar wanking

Shots fucking fired

Sure, Byleth's mom is a main focus of the plot, and Byleth is the one who sets the plot in motion, but rarely does it feel like the game is going "gee Player, you're so great, you're our god, we all love you and want to marry you". Byleth still plays a large role sure (unfortunately) but it still feels like this is the story of Yuri and his gang with Byleth being their strategist which is, idk, way better than the idea behind the main game? The one where Byleth turns into a literal god, gets every achievement of the army attributed to them only, has every other conversation remind us how glorious Byleth is, etc.

In fact the dlc goes as far as having Hapi constantly belittle Byleth and even make fun of their communication skills by calling him Chatterbox (good job to the localizers, she doesn’t say this in the japanese audio). Get that teacher’s ass girl, destroy them. (Obviously I would hate this behavior if it was directed to someone else, but in this case I'm willing to make a concession).

3) Yuri's backstory

Ashe: I admire and love this man who is my only parental figure but Rhea said he's kind of bad so I killed him Yuri: Church ordered me to kill a bunch of thieves and delinquents and I refused

You have no idea who much I love the fact that Yuri is someone who protested his orders and got kicked out of the church for refusing to kill civillians. This instantly sends him very high in my rankings. Playing through the first half of the game all I wanted was to stop and say "No, Lady Rhea, fuck you. I don't think it's very cash money for the most powerful military force in the continent to eradicate a lightly armed militia of farmers (with popular support in their locality!)" this is what true imperialism is all about! But there is sadly no option for that.

Just by telling us that Yuri is someone who was punished for saying "No, these orders are inhumane, I refuse to carry them out" that is enough for me, the game is saying "yes, we know, have your compensation price". In the end Yuri is extremely loyal to Rhea which is unfortunate but hey, at least they lampshaded one of the most glaring issues I have with the main game, so that's at least something.

4) "You've obtained all information. Proceed with the story, NOW"

Rather than wasting time forever thinking up which activity I should carry out, abyss is simply a place where you talk to the abyssal denizens to get some plot information or speculation, and boom, you're done. No running around forever, no quests, no doors that take ages to load. You can perfectly skip the abyss parts and at most you'll miss out on Edelgard's conversation with Dimiri (which is fucking hilarious) and a few rusted weapons that can be forged but that's it. Upon talking to every resident of the abyss the game will actually say you’ve acquired all information and will prompt you to go into combat rather than assume you want to dilly dally for a while.

I actually rather like this and would not be opposed to it being the philosophy behind future in-between segments between chapters. I can understand IntSys wanting to load in a ton of features like a sauna and fishing to rack up excitement for the game, I know I was excited for fishing, but when these activities have rewards tied to them, replaying becomes kind of a chore, "aw geez, I have to fish 69 fish to reach professor rank A+ AGAIN" (I actually had to when trying to get the piss screen from clearing maddening). Getting only some conversations and a bit of context for the story, that's... pretty good honestly, I liked this better than the monastery and better than My Castle. Throw in some skits with multiple characters at once and I’m gold

(seriously how come there’s no scenes with the three of the bros, Dimitri, Sylvain and Felix all hanging out together, the fact that a third character never shows up in support conversations is fucking bad)

5) Sometimes less is more

I've extensively complained about three houses already but bear with me. Yet another thing that infuriates me about the game is the extensive amount of work it required. I truly do think that if they had released only the blue lions route and left everything else in the plot as mysterious and unexplained loose ends left entirely up to speculation, that'd be a great game on it's own. Instead I have to see all the hard work that went into making the other routes only so that, in the end, they just had me going "well it was ok I guess". Every scene in the game requires work, many hours of coding, writing, voice acting, sound editing, making sure the models don't look too messed up, bug testing, etc. The amount of work that went into three houses was brutal regardless of what you think of the final product, yet a lot of people didn't even bother playing through all of that. So yes, I honestly wanted less, give me a more concise game rather than spreading too wide and ending up thin.

Cindered Shadows on the other hand is concise to a fault to make up for that. The story is pretty straightforward and leaves no loose ends to itself, there's no anime cutscenes, no supports (within abyss, you can support them all in the main game). There's even that very awkward sacrifice scene where some characters are having their life and blood drained from them yet the visual representation we see is just them standing around like normal, with Yuri even doing that hand pose he does all the time instead of squirming in pain or something. It's very awkward looking, objectively not good, but it gets the point across and doesn't make me go "wow you put in all this effort for nothing" because the whole thing is also fairly short (5 to 10 hours in hard mode).

I know, it sounds like I'm shitting on the dlc, but the point is I'd much rather get something short that leaves me satisfied than something like the main game that makes me go "this could've been so hecking gooood if they changed X" for the rest of my life.

6) The gameplay

Chapter 4 is my favorite mission in the whole game

They made Hard Mode good. I previously said maddening was the one difficulty where this game made sense, but this one achieves perfection with just hard mode. This is because the team actually knows what you have. In the main game there's all sorts of variables to account for due to the large amount of player expression that is possible, you can reclass anyone into anything and throughout many lucky or unlucky level ups, maps can be entirely different based on that rng and choices. Here though, your characters already have solid bases starting at lvl 20, and you can't reclass too much so the devs know exactly what you're working with and can plan accordingly. Beating the maps feels incredibly satisfying not just because the objectives have more variety now, but also because you feel like you found the right way to use the tools you were given. This is why the first few chapters of any fire emblem game often feel so good, because the devs know exactly what you have.

Not that I think player expression is bad! It's very satisfying to warp skip chapters and to use broken units like battalion vantage+wrath Dimitri as these things make you feel like you've truly subjugated the game, but it takes some time for those things to really take off. There's a time to reap and a time to sow, and the sowing time can get pretty dull sometimes but that's what makes the payoff feel worth it. Still, for a short experience like cindered shadows is, this style just fits perfectly, plus chapter 4 has quickly become one of my favorite chapters in the whole game, along with chapter 6.

7) In The End

Idk folks, I just like it. If you just want more adventures with the three lords, this is it.

If you’re looking for any excuses to avoid this I'd say the better ones are: maps are reused from the main game (they work much better here though), it's 10 hours at most so it's price-to-cash ratio isn't very good with the expansion pass being $30, and also the Abysskeeper feels a bit TOO winkwink nudgenudge to me, especially since Gatekeeper was popular enough to make it into Super Smash Brothers. Like yeah bro, we get it, we all love Gatekeeper, you didn't have to do this.

I also like that they finally gave Dimitri a semi-problematic quote where he says he kinda likes the idea of poor people living underground out of sight, I think it’s a very rich-white-boy flaw to have and not entirely awful given his life experience up to that point. And yes I do think he has no flaws and is entirely unproblematic in the main game, “feral” as he may look it doesn’t seem like he goes around killing civilians or doing anything other than busting up imperial troops which is kind of justified since they started the invasion, on top that he’s the strongest unit in the game and the most chill and honest ruler once he calms down, so little dent in his record that’s irrelevant in the large picture is indeed welcome.

Overall though, after being so massively disappointed by the Fates DLC, so much I didn't even bother with the ones for Echoes, I certainly like what I'm seeing here and that's a good sign, bravo Intsys.

[letswritefanfiction]

Pokémon Alphabet Challenge: W is for Woe

Can also be read on ffnet here.

-

The first time she’d ever had her heart broken was when her parents died, she supposed. But she’d been four and hardly remembered it. Hardly remembered them. Her heart must have fully healed by now. No scars to show that she’d even been hurt before.

Ready to be broken again for the first time.

Misty had certain expectations about heartbreak. She thought that when it happened again, it would have been because she’d taken a lover who had done her wrong, leading to a painful and passionate fight, leaving her weeping into her hands. Not that that’s what she wanted to happen, but it seemed like that’s how things would go in a film noir, and there was something masochistically appealing about having a life that dramatic.

The thoughts of betrayal certainly weren’t happy but, if nothing else, they were clean cut. If she caught a boyfriend going after one of her sisters or were secret members of the mafia, then the dramatic breakup would come naturally. And though she’d be heartbroken, she’d know that she did the right thing.

Along with the heartbreak would come the daily ice cream binges, crying and yelling at rom-coms, and tearful conversations with her gal pals. Well, she’d never really had gal pals, but she supposed her sisters might do if it came to that.

In all, she had everything planned out. She could see it coming in the distant future and was already fortifying herself against it.

So when it came earlier than expected with none of the predicted circumstances, Misty wasn’t sure quite what to do.

It was, though. Heartbreak. Dolor. Woe. She felt the crack splintering down her perfectly mended heart and there was nothing she could do but run.

She wasn’t a scorned lover, she wasn’t even a teenage girlfriend. She was just a…friend. And, to be honest, she wasn’t even quite sure which part of it was breaking her heart. The heartlessness of her sisters? Leaving Ash and Brock? The way Ash seemed not to care?

To be fair, it was probably all of it. And the more she thought about it, the more she saw the writing on the wall.

Ash and Brock didn’t keep in touch. Sure, Misty rarely called home, but she had a…challenging relationship with her sisters. As was proven all over again today. But Ash loved his mom. And Brock was basically a second father to his siblings. But the two of them rarely made contact back home. And the three of them never reached out to the friends they’d met on their journey. When was the last time they’d talked to Tracey? Misty didn’t know.

This was the end. And that’s the thought took the crack burgeoning across her heart and split it into pieces.

-

She dated. She even started having relationships. Part of it was at her sisters’ behest; they’d enjoyed dating so much at her age and they’d hate for her to miss the opportunity. Plus, apparently, she had some sort of ‘reputation’ or ‘tradition’ to keep up. Frankly, she thought that last part was BS, but, really, she didn’t want to be alone, so she went along with it.

And, really, part of it was fun. It was nice to be wanted, to be sought after. She enjoyed being wined and dined—the wine replaced with ice water, of course—and having some element of romance in her life. Misty considered herself an independent woman, and had all the evidence in the world to prove it: she could travel in the wilderness, she’d run a Gym by herself and built up its reputation from next to nothing, and could expertly raise Pokémon, that was, other living beings, from infancy. She could survive. But she thrived with companionship. There was something about always having Ash and Brock or Tracey sleeping beside her or across the room, people to shoot the breeze or share companionable silence with. She wanted to share her time with people.

But every time she broke up with someone or they dumped her, she bounced back surprisingly fast. There was no throwing chocolates at the television or dramatic haircuts or life-changing hiking trips. She would simply move on with an unmoving amount of heartbreak. And that was how she knew that those relationships had barely scratched the surface of what she was searching for.

Really, she was comparing everyone, measuring them against the yardstick that was Ash Ketchum. But since she’d never really known what had caused her to like him so much, she had no idea where these other boys were failing. They weren’t reckless enough? Doltish enough? Utterly immature enough?

Slowly, the realization dawned on her. She wasn’t going to give anyone a fair shot until she went after Ash.

And when she thought about it even more, she noted that, as it was, they were barely friends. Well, they were best friends. But best friends who didn’t call and didn’t write and didn’t see each other for months if not years at a time.

To tell the truth, she could convince herself that there wasn’t much to lose.

-

She didn’t know where he was. A quick call to his mother—yes, she kept in better contact with his mother than with him—told her that she, nor Professor Oak, quite knew either. Well, at least she knew she was right about him not keeping in good contact with them either. Actually, she got a perverse sense of joy in the reminder that, in fact, it was not just her being ghosted.

But still, the conversation left her with progress.

Professor Oak had last received a Pokémon from Ash a number of weeks ago. Yes, as good of a Trainer as he was, natural talent and all that, he’d never been good at catching that many Pokémon. Not that she was one to talk, but still. Even without a specialty, he never seemed to send all that many Pokémon back to the lab. But it still gave her a starting place. The boy could go far in just a few weeks, but it was better than nothing.

Fortunately, the internet was a thing.

With the Professor’s help, she almost definitely had him nailed down to a region, and it was fair to assume that he was going from town to town challenging Gyms. That didn’t by any means limit the selection of locations in the regions, but it gave solid markers of where he probably either already had been or was going to go. As a Gym Leader herself, she knew that you didn’t remember every challenger who walked into your Gym, but as his prior traveling companion, she knew that people had a tendency to remember Ash Ketchum. She’d ask around.

But first was the matter of getting there.

The one thing on her side was that if there was anything that would get the Waterflower sisters back in the Gym, it was the prospect of their baby sister going on a man-getting mission. They were back training Pokémon in an hour.

That was pretty much the only loose end. She couldn’t take too many Pokémon with her, because the Gym needed most of them, but she did grab Psyduck and Gyarados. Sure, Gyarados had originally belonged to her sisters, but she didn’t think that they would really be able to handle him in a Gym Battle.

Besides, she was hoping to catch new Pokémon along the way. It had been years since she’d really gotten to spend time outside of Kanto, and the truth was, this mission wasn’t just one born of practically stalking her ex slash current best friend slash crush.

It was about taking some God damn control back.

She was going to find her man and see if he liked her too. But if not, then it wouldn’t have been a trip for nothing. In all likelyhood, she’d be stuck in the region for a time before she found him, and she was going to make the best of it. She was going to train, meet new people, and see, if not catch, some new Pokémon.

Just because she wanted a man didn’t mean that she needed one.

-

Soon enough, with little more planning than her runaway act at age ten, she found herself in an unknown region, searching for the boy she’d fallen for years ago and never gotten over. She only had half an idea as to how to find him, but she hoped that would be part of the fun. Just like Ash with his ever-present goal of challenging the Pokémon League often being overshadowed by whatever hijinks the three of them would find themselves in that day. Ultimately, those were some of her favorite memories, even more so than watching him win a Gym match or progress to the next round of a League.

And she did have fun. She’d promised herself she would and dammit, she made sure in those first few weeks to try and accomplish all the things she’d always wished she’d had time to do at the Gym. She fished—didn’t manage to catch any new Pokémon yet, but she was patient. When it came to fishing, at least—she ate at cafes, she window-shopped; she made sure to enjoy the journey.

She just didn’t expect that it would get lonely so quickly.

Maybe part of the reason she’d always been so fond of Ash was that aside from being her friend and crush, he was her company. He, Brock, Tracey, Pikachu, and Togepi had been a source of energy and comfort for her, even when no words were being exchanged. And now she was traversing a region alone, and it was, well, lonely. Once upon a time, it had been her plan to travel Kanto alone, but that hadn’t been realized for very long at all. And now that she’d lived the alternative, this way was oddly lacking.

So she pulled an Ash and began keeping Psyduck out of her PokéBall.

Maybe Psyduck wasn’t her first choice for a companion, but he fared well on land and his helplessness made her feel needed. He was a big baby, just like Togepi.

It was when she was having a random Battle with another Trainer that the game changed for her. Misty told the girl that she wanted to be a Water Pokémon Master, to which the girl responded, “What’s that?”

Misty was gobsmacked. No one had ever asked her that before. Hell, she didn’t think she’d ever heard someone ask Ash that before, and Gods knew he’d certainly spouted the phrase enough times to warrant it. She was surprised, looking back on it, that the conversation had never come up between the two of them. “Hey, Ash, so what does Pokémon Master mean to you exactly?” “Huh, I guess I don’t quite know, Misty. What does it mean to you?” “Uh, mastery of Pokémon?”

She didn’t know. Well, abstractly she did. She felt like she did. But to put it into concrete words for a total stranger who obviously didn’t have any idea…

“I, well, it’s like I’m a Water Pokémon specialist.” Misty blushed a little, wishing the words would come to her. “If you couldn’t tell. And I want to know everything there is to know about Water Pokémon and be, like,” she cringed, cursing herself and the time she’d spent around her sisters, “an expert on them. While also being an expert at using them in Battle.”

“Oh, so like a Gym Leader or something?”

Maybe it should have felt like a compliment. Instead, it just felt like Misty had choked on a rather large wad of gum, and she couldn’t help but sputter a bit. “N-No! Not like a Gym Leader! That’s, well, I mean, it’s good, but it’s just not even close!”

The girl’s brows furrowed, obviously still not getting it. “An Elite then?”

Elites were seen as experts in their fields. Misty knew enough about them—and had idolized Prima long enough—to know where they stood. They were the best of the best.

“No…I mean, that’s better, obviously, but still.” She shook her head, already running out of the few words she’d had.

The other girl seemed a little frustrated, sighing before asking, “Do you have to be the Champion?”

Well, that was what Ash was always going for. His cycle was travel to a new region, challenge all the Gyms, participate in the League, rinse and repeat. But he’d even won a League and it hadn’t slowed him down. Even with all the bravado he’d had back then, Misty knew that he hadn’t remotely considered himself a Master. Would she consider Drake a Master? Gods, she didn’t know.

“It’s not—It’s not about having a position or a title,” Misty tried to explain rubbing her eyes and forehead roughly. “Because, like, ugh, it’s—you can never learn everything, right? I want to know everything there is to know about Water Pokémon, but that’s simply not possible. Even if you combined all the knowledge of all the experts in the world right now, you wouldn’t even be scratching the surface, right? So it’s an abstract thing. An intangible, indescribable, um, conceptual…thing.”

The girl blinked at Misty for a second, but her expression became clearer than Misty had seen it yet. Then she said, “Oh. So it’s unattainable. It’s just there for you to, you know, always be stretching yourself. But it’s not real.”

Misty could have gaped at the girl. Unattainable? Not real? Her whole life’s work, Ash’s life’s work was just…an illusion?

Misty smiled, albeit tighter than could possibly seem normal or natural and replied, “Yep, basically,” through gritted teeth.

“Well, that’s really nice.” The girl smiled. “I hope you make good progress towards it.”

“Me too,” Misty said, though her thoughts were now going a mile a minute. “And, uh, you as well. In your goals.”

“Thanks!” the girls said, seemingly impervious to the sheer amount of awkward Misty threw her way. “Bye, now!”

The girl flounced off and Misty was left with the panic-inducing feeling of, well, what now?

-

The ‘what now’ was the same as before. She’d had a plan, godammit, and at the moment it was about all she had. So she would keep towards her apparently arbitrary goal of ‘Master’ and try and find Ash while doing it.

It was a good thing she hadn’t let it slip to any random travelers that she was on a trip to find her crush, or that probably would have been torn to pieces as well.

Still. She caught new Pokémon that she was excited to get to know. Not to mention that practically and monetarily speaking, they would be great new attractions at the Gym. Her sisters would be excited about that much. She asked around about Water experts in the region and made efforts to meet with those she could and exchange ideas and practices regarding their Pokémon and theories on what everyone’s next step was. She left many of these meetings with people saying they’d love to visit her Gym whenever she made it back to Kanto. Of course, she never had a good estimate on when that would be.

Her life had been a thing of routine for so long now that it was difficult to fathom that she didn’t know if she’d be back at the Gym next month or even next year. It almost felt like she was in some kind of suspended animation, like her life was barely moving until she got back to the Gym where calendar days were important and her tasks were done like clockwork. Really, it was probably more the opposite—this was more living than she’d done in years.

Truthfully, though, she couldn’t imagine a scenario through which she wouldn’t be back at the Gym in more than a year. If it took her a year and still couldn’t find Ash, then it wasn’t meant to be. Maybe save it for the next existential crisis, assuming she hadn’t moved on by then.

Fortunately, it did not take more than a year to find Ash.

She’d almost missed him. Whilst traveling along a Trainer path, she saw sparks of electricity in the distance. Her first instinct was to think nothing of it. It was probably just two Trainers having a Battle. Then she stopped short.

Or it was Ash and Pikachu doing…well, anything that one might expect the two of them to get up to.

Before she knew it, she was running.

It was one of those moments where your heart is hoping for something so dearly, but your brain is telling you that there’s no chance. No chance in hell. A chance so negligible that you might as well not hope at all. But you can’t help it. And when you finally see it, you think surely it can’t be real.

But there he was. Him and Pikachu, and Team Rocket flying through the air, the smell of burnt hair still crisp in the forest air. He had a different outfit, a different hat, and she spotted some people behind him that were probably his newest travel companions, but she was still transported back years ago, to when this was her everyday. She smiled.

Pikachu noticed her first. His head whipped around as though he’d caught her scent, and his eyes lit up. He leapt off of Ash’s shoulder with such strength that Ash was pushed forward, stumbling a little before looking back at Pikachu in confusion. For a moment. Then he was grinning so hard Misty thought his face might split open.

“Misty!” he shouted, immediately racing Pikachu to see who would get to her first.

Pikachu won, of course, but he’d had a head start—as Ash would be quick to point out—and leapt into Misty’s arms. He was an easy catch and Misty was immediately taken by how his fur felt exactly the same. But was he bigger? He looked bigger. She knew that he probably wasn’t—he’d already been full-grown by the time she’d met him—but he looked different to her. Exactly the same, but different. She supposed that was the strangeness of spending so much time apart.

Ash, on the other hand, definitely looked different. This was the first time she was seeing him at what she would guess was full-grown for him. He was a little taller than her now, which she became acutely aware of when he rushed over and hugged her.

“Hey, Ash!” she managed, her voice high-pitched and breathless as his arms wrapped around her.

This wasn’t what they did. They didn’t hug. They’d linked arms, spun each other around in celebration, even held hands—but they didn’t hug. She knew this because she’d always wanted it. It was amazing, the things you imagined would change your world when you had a girlhood crush. A hug would have meant everything to her. Now, older and more confident, she’d stalked him around the world. And a hug was just the beginning.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, eyes glimmering when he finally—much too soon—pulled back.

Now, Misty was a fan of honesty. Helpful but kind honesty with young Gym challengers, snappish honesty with her sisters, and, well, somewhat scathing honesty to Ash. But even though she wanted to blurt out the truth—before she lost her nerve—she knew now wasn’t the moment. Now wasn’t going to give her that best shot that she’d earned by being patient for this long. She wasn’t going to lose it at the end.

She’d left on a whim. But as she’d spent these last months journeying, she’d been planning.

Now was the time to execute.

-

She was tagging along. As far as she could see, it’s how Ash had gotten all of his companions, herself included. It was probably the case with his new batch as well, though she could only hope that this time the destroying of personal property hadn’t been involved. It was kind of his MO.

Her goal was to spend a couple of days with him in this new group. This was for two reasons. One, she wanted to remind him of exactly what it was like to travel with her, to spend time with her. If there was any chance that Ash was harboring any sort of a fondness for her, she wanted it to be reignited, and give it just a little time to fester. If not, then she just wanted him to remember how easy their friendship was, and how much they were there for each other.

The second reason was of paramount importance, in that she hoped it wouldn’t matter. She needed to take a little time to remind herself of these things too. To check in and see if her heart still fluttered, if her cheeks still flushed, and if all that was because of real feelings for Ash or if it was just an old habit carried over from childhood. She’d hate to put her heart on the line just because her body was conditioned to have certain psychosomatic responses around that dork.

She knew, invariably, that time had changed Ash. The question was, in what ways and how much?

Wonderfully, she quickly decided that it was, in good ways and, just enough. He was still her Ash, but a little more mature, a little less arrogant, even kinder and more open. These were just the things she could have hoped for from him, and she was thrilled to be able to recognize these tiny little changes here and there as she chatted with him and watched him interact with others. And her heart continued to flutter and her cheeks kept their flush.

She and Ash were collecting firewood, alone save for Pikachu, while his companions were prepping the food for dinner that night. She supposed that after all this time, he still hadn’t picked up a lot of cooking skills. Not that she had either. As celebrities, Misty and her sisters were given the opportunity to eat all around the city for free plus tip so long as they mentioned it online. So they mostly did that or leftovers or things they didn’t really have to cook. Like cereal. Or fruit.

This was her perfect chance. They were alone with little chance of interruption—unless Team Rocket showed up, at which point she’d blast their sorry behinds off before they could even get a breath into their motto.

“Hey, Ash?”

“Yep?”

His head was down, foraging for firewood—this they had gotten good at over the years. He actually already had a few pieces; she was going to have to get her piece out quickly if she wanted to get it out naturally before Ash decided it was time to head back to camp.

“I just wanted to say that it’s been really nice getting to see you again.”

Ash looked over his shoulder and smiled. “You too. And I know Pikachu’s been happy you’re here.”

“Pika!” Pikachu agreed joyfully.

“Getting to see Pikachu might actually be the best part,” Misty joked lightly before falling serious again. “No, actually, I really wanted to see you again, Ash, because…” She took one last breath, steeling herself. “Because I have feelings for you.”

Ash was silent. She’d thought he might be. No matter how Ash felt, her declaration was sure to be a surprise. Still, it made her feel like her lungs were shrinking.

“I um, wow, uh…what kind of feelings?”

Misty threw Ash a look. Softer than usual, because she was confessing her love, but still. He deserved it.

“You know,” she said gently. “The important kind.”

“The…love kind?”

She nodded. “Something like that.”

“Oh, I, uh…wow.”

Ash took his hat off and ran a finger through his hair, leaving it sticking straight up from where his hat had left it flat. He blew a raspberry and looked down at the ground, shaking his head a little.

“I, um. I wasn’t expecting that,” he said finally, looking at her sheepishly.

Misty exhaled a little, almost half of a laugh. “I figured. And, hey, you don’t need to have any sort of a response today or right now, but, you know. I had to tell you.”

“Did you, though?”

That surprised Misty. It seemed as though it surprised Ash a little too, though his expression was caught somewhere between confusion and disbelief.

“What?”

“I…We haven’t seen each other in a long time. So, have you felt this way since last time we saw each other? Or, like, before that?”

 She had. Of course she had. And there was some scenario of this in her mind in which she said, yes, she’d loved him for a long time, and he said that he felt the same way…but that didn’t seem to be where this was going. So instead, she said, “What does it matter?”

That stopped Ash again. New Ash was slower with his answers. Still impulsive, but not quite as much as a kid. He seemed to realize now that his words held weight. He probably knew how much his words could hurt her now, and for the first time, she really felt vulnerable in front of him.

This was a boy she wasn’t afraid to cry in front of. She wasn’t afraid to lose in front of. Lose to. She’d been afraid of bearing her heart, but it was one she could overcome for him. And she couldn’t tell if that was changing in this moment.

“I just, I had no idea.” He continued to flounder. He wasn’t making eye contact, he was shifting foot to foot—Pikachu didn’t seem to know what to make of it either. He was just looking with wide eyes back and forth between Ash and Misty. “Um, thank you?”

That’s what made Misty’s heart sink. It was one thing to be caught by surprise. To be confused. It was another to have nothing to say besides ‘thank you.’

Misty gave a flat smile, but she knew that Ash would be able to see right through it. Without emotion, she said, “You’re welcome.”

Then she began searching for more firewood.

“C’mon, Misty, don’t be like that.”

“I’m not being like anything,” she said, her voice falsely chipper as she kept her face pointed towards the ground. “I said my piece and that’s all I wanted. Now we can get firewood and head back to camp. And then I’m going to go back to Cerulean.”

“Back to Cerulean?” he asked in disbelief. “You don’t have to do that. You can keep traveling with us.”

“It was always my plan,” she replied matter-of-factly. “No matter how this went.”

“Wait.” Ash was closer over her shoulder now. “Even if I’d said…something else, you would have gone back to Cerulean?”

She faced him again, despite her red cheeks. “Well, maybe not tomorrow, but yeah? It’s my Gym. It’s my job.”

“So you wanted a relationship, but you there and me here? Slash not here, but anywhere but Cerulean?”

“I don’t know, Ash,” Misty bit out, struggling to keep the frustration from her tone. “I was willing to discuss it.”

“What’s there to discuss? I’m always going to be traveling. I can’t give that up.”

This was a conversation that Misty hadn’t quite imagined. She’d thought about how it might go, if they talked about how they could maintain a long distance relationship. It had filled her with warm, fluffy feels as she imagined her best case scenarios of confessing. She’d figured they’d start small, just contact each other more often, and also making an effort to visit each other when they could. Then they’d see where things went. But here he was, bringing it up, but nothing warm nor fluffy was in the equation.

“First off, you probably won’t always be traveling. Life happens, and I have to imagine that you’ll be drawn from it at some point, even if it’s against your will,” she started. It wasn’t practiced, but it came out with force. “Second, you don’t freaking have to travel. You make that choice every dang day, Ash.”

Ash shook his head. “Uh-uh. You’re just trying to sound smart by saying that. But that’s not really how it is and you know it. I know that’s not how you thought when we were traveling together. You were in it. You were traveling indefinitely—haha, yes, I know that word—period, until your sisters forced you to come home.”

“That’s, argh!” she groaned, “that’s not what I meant. I mean…what are you doing, Ash? You wanna be a Master? You wanna be the best? You can work towards that anywhere. Yes, traveling through different regions felt like it helped me on my goal of being a Master, but so does being a Gym Leader. In a real, measurable way.”

She was looking at him earnestly. Even after only a few days together, he had to see her growth, right? He had to be able to see all that she’d learned as a Gym Leader…didn’t he?

“That’s not what I want.”

He looked at her like he didn’t want to say it. Like it pained him. But, nevertheless, his words were strong.

“I wanna be a Master. I don’t wanna be a Gym Leader. I don’t want to be stuck like that. Could you imagine? The Pallet Town Gym Leader?” He grimaced. “It sounds awful. And I know it’s not what you wanted either, so can’t you understand that?”

He was right; she hadn’t wanted to take over the Gym when her sisters had given it to her. And maybe that had stuck with Ash, because that’s how she left him. It was his last memory of them traveling together.

But mostly, he was wrong. And she was seething.

“Ash Ketchum, you don’t know my life. How dare you know if you want it or not? Yeah, maybe I felt like that. For a day. Because I was sad to be leaving my friends and the best years I’d had thus far. But now?  If someone tried to take that Gym from me, I’d chain myself to the door and see them try.”

Ash was taken aback. He didn’t have a quick rebuttal, and Misty took the opportunity to barrel on.

“I get to teach, which is the best way to learn. I’m in my learning environment every day. Every day with Water Pokémon instead of lost in the woods for the umpteenth time or only getting Battle experience from beating Team Rocket. I’m written up by newspapers, I do interviews, people ask me to tutor—I have something to show. What do you have, Ash? Maybe instead of trekking blindly forward, you should try something new. What do you think being a Master is?”

She’d gone too far. She knew it before she was even halfway done. But it also felt good. She was proud of what she’d accomplished, and she hadn’t listed the half of it. She’d done demonstration matches for the Pokémon League, she bred specialty Pokémon, she studied and was able to swim every day. But those accolades and perks didn’t soften the blow of looking at Ash’s face.

“I thought you understood me—” he reached up a hand and patted Pikachu, “us—better than this.”

“I…” she could finally feel the tears begin to rise up. “I thought I did too.”

She walked over to him and put her load of firewood into his arms.

“What are you doing?” he asked, the confusion oddly softening his face.

“I think it would be best if I didn’t camp out with you all tonight,” she answered, the words tight in her throat.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Misty, you know it would be better to camp with us.”

She shook her head. “I’m heading home tomorrow anyway, so it’ll be fine.”

She dared to put a hand out on his shoulder. It was tense, probably mostly from holding all that firewood. But only mostly.

“We never did fight well,” she said with the smallest of laughs. Then, quietly, she said, “You’re still my best friend.”

Ash looked at her strangely. “You too,” he replied, equally quiet.

Misty shifted her hand to cup Pikachu’s cheek. “Bye, Pikachu.”

“Pikachupi?” he voiced. Misty had no idea what he wanted to say, but she could read the sadness on his face, and that was enough for her.

“I’ll miss you too.”

Then she walked away. She’d find a good place for her sleeping bag and go to sleep. She wasn’t really hungry anymore anyway. Her feet were taking her deeper into the woods, but she knew from the map that this forest wasn’t big.

She’d be on the other side in no time.

-

Just like the first time, going back to the Gym after traveling was hard. But something in her was fired up, raring to prove Ash wrong, so she threw herself into her work. Plus, it was a good distraction.

She could be a Master anywhere. It had been one of many things she’d learned in this short bout of traveling but aside from everything with Ash, it was the one that was sticking with her the most.

When she got back home and found that the Gym was not in ruins—still not the up to par, but it was nice to know that her sisters hadn’t run it into the ground. Job one was returning everything to normal. Bringing back more intense training regimens to the Pokémon she hadn’t brought on her travels, doing a few deep cleans on the space, and catching up on paperwork and correspondence. Then it was about taking the next step.

She now knew even more people who trained Water Pokémon and who owned Gyms. She’d visited them in their hometowns and it was only right she send out invitations now that she was back in Cerulean. These were people she could continue learning from, and she was eager to do so. And it wasn’t just the people she’d just met—there were people she’d been inspired by when traveling with Ash, relationships she’d let fall through the cracks. It was time to hit them up again and see if they remembered her.

Her sisters were a little taken aback by the fervor with which she hit the ground running. Of course, they’d been disappointed that she hadn’t come back with Ash, but once they’d gotten over that, the concern had only grown.

“I’m not sure I’ve ever acted like this after a breakup,” Lily mentioned one time when Misty was on her hands and knees scrubbing the tile of the main pool.

“Yeah, I mean, I can identify with swimming laps. Gotta have that revenge bod,” Violet added. Misty had been doing a lot of swimming too; her lung capacity had shrunk a little and she wanted to get it back to where it had been. “But this is, like, kinda extreme.”

“It wasn’t a breakup,” Misty ground out. “It wasn’t really anything.”

“It was a rejection,” Lily corrected bluntly. “But, like, I’ve never reacted like this after one of those either.”

“To be fair, I’m not sure you’ve ever had one of those.”

Lily grinned. “Oops, I guess you’re right, Vi!”

“Out!” Misty pointed a soapy hand towards the door.

She went back to scrubbing and didn’t look to see if they went or not; she wasn’t going to ask again. It was a huge doorway. She could only hope they’d find their way through it.

Truthfully, it was the quieter moments that got to her. She worked her normal workday, and then she retired. That was something she’d worked out pretty early on as Gym Leader: you have to put your duties away at some time, otherwise you’ll burn out and go crazy. One of the nice things about the stability that Ash so seemed to hate was that there was always tomorrow.

The Gym would always be there tomorrow.

But when she put work aside and she was left with little but her thoughts, that’s when she reacted more in the way that Lily seemed to want her to. There had been tears. Of course there had been tears. The five stages of grief: sadness, misery, depression, melancholy, woe—she’d been through all of it.

No, truth be told, she really did feel like she was working through the actual five stages of grief. Knowing for sure that Ash didn’t feel the same way about her that she still—yes, still—felt about him was like losing something dear to her. This crush on Ash had been a part of her identity for so long that, even though it wasn’t gone, this switch in the narrative felt like something of an existential crisis. And now she had to grieve one of her greatest fantasies. She had no idea what stage she was on, but it was clear she had a ways to go. If there truly was an equal and opposite reaction to everything, then she’d be heartbroken for a time to come. She’d loved Ash for a long time.

And she’d meant what she’d said to him. He was still her best friend. So when a couple months passed and the League tournament came around, she flipped on the channel and watched as she paid bills, answered emails, and ate her meals.

Of course, she likely would have done this whether Ash was in the tournament or not. The best thing about being a fan of Pokémon Battles was that you never had to wait long for one region’s tournament to start after the last one ended. And aside from documentaries and nature shows about Water Pokémon, it was definitely her programming of choice.

She watched and she watched and she watched. She didn’t know any of the other names or faces in the competition this year—she rarely did outside of Kanto—and every time Ash came up, her heart fluttered. Her little broken heart continued to beat for that boy.

She thought that would make it hurt more. But really, the feeling was familiar, and it made her smile. She was happy to see him do well. She was happy to see him in general. After all, no matter how she thought he should be going about it, he was following his dream. And that always had been one of the special things about him.

Maybe she was coming around to acceptance quicker than she’d thought.

-

Misty was expecting him any minute.

Dorian of the—still unofficial—Coastline Gym, after weeks of correspondence, was finally visiting the Cerulean Gym today. Misty had been thinking about utilizing the pool that her sisters used for water shows for underwater Pokémon Battles like Dorian did for a while, but she wanted his expert opinion.

His Gym was still unofficial because of the practice of underwater Pokémon Battles, of course. It was limiting and alienating, and the PIA refused to sanction a Gym that would so limit the challenging Trainers. But it didn’t mean that Misty couldn’t utilize the practice occasionally. Maybe request it for rematches or something, so that returning challengers couldn’t get to comfortable? She didn’t know; she was going to ask Dorian.

All of this was on her mind when she finally heard the doorbell. It would be excellent to get his opinion on the different facilities, so she’d probably do a tour first. Well, really, she’d offer him some water, food, and rest, and then probably a tour? Then maybe a Battle? Or should they battle later?

That’s why she was so surprised when she opened the front door and found herself face to face with Ash Ketchum. And Pikachu.

She was so surprised that she gasped and almost slammed the door in his face. Fortunately, she managed to hold that impulse back and instead forced out an awkward. “H-Hi. Ash.”

Ash seemed to let out a breath when she said his name, and he smiled a little. “Hey, Misty. Care to let us in?”

Automatically, she stepped aside and said, “Sure.”

Then it was like she caught up to the world, and her thoughts were going a mile a minute. Why was he here? Why wasn’t he saying anything? Why hadn’t he given her some advance warning? After the last time they’d seen each other—no, don’t think about the last time they saw each other—but still, it would be the courteous thing to do, right? Not that Ash had even been courteous. He was kind and largely considerate, but not courteous. Speaking of courteous, shouldn’t she offer him some water, food, and rest for his travels?

“Say, wanna go to the kitchen?” Misty offered, the words coming out awkward and stilted. But they were there, and that was something.

Ash nodded his head and grinned, as though she’d hit the nail on the head. Maybe he’d stopped by just because he was low on cash and wanted a bite to eat? She wouldn’t put it past him. Though she didn’t have any real food to offer Pikachu, unless he wanted to nibble on specialized Water Pokéchow.

As she silently lead the way to the kitchen, Misty was struck again by her conversation with Lily and Violet. Somehow, Ash really did feel like an ex. Someone she had history with, history that hadn’t ended well, and now she was seeing him for the first time after the fallout.

Misty got them each a glass of water and laid out an open but not stale bag of chips on the counter, which Ash didn’t hesitate in reaching for. He set out a small pile for Pikachu, who jumped onto the counter and began eating, before shoving a handful in his mouth. Misty’s own stomach was somewhat knotted up with nerves, but lord knew if there was food in arms reach, she was probably going to eat it.

“Hey, Misty, is that Dor—” Daisy cut herself off when she saw that the dark-haired boy in the kitchen was indeed, not Dorian. “Oho, no it’s not. I, um, I’ll go wait by the door for him? Yeah. Okay. Hi, Ash.”

Ash smiled. “Hi, Daisy.”

When Daisy left, Ash turned back to Misty, whose ears were bright red and burning.

“Expecting company?”

“Just work stuff,” she explained, dipping into the chip bag. “Daisy can handle it.”

Ash nodded. “Gotcha.”

Then there was silence but for the sound of chips crunching and the bag crinkling. Both Ash and Misty kept their gaze mostly on Pikachu, watching as the little mouse nibbled through its pile of chips.

“Well, the League’s over,” Ash finally said.

“I know. You lost. Again.”

Misty regretted the words as soon as they came out, but when she looked at Ash, he was laughing.

“Sure did. Did you place bets against me, Mist?”

“No!” she responded immediately, face indignant, clearly reading ‘how could I ever?’ But then it melted into a smirk. “I didn’t know any of the competition well enough to know which one was going to beat you.”

Ash clutched his chest with his salt-covered hand. “Ouch, that one hurt.”

That comment and gesture pulled Misty out of their banter-filled fantasy realm and back to reality. She was the one with the broken heart. It was a little harder to smile after that.

She didn’t know if Ash noticed a change in her expression or if maybe he was just getting to his point in coming here, but after a moment’s pause, he said, “I’m really sorry. You know. About before.”

Misty just shook her head, looking down at the countertop. It needed a wipe down. “Don’t be. I really threw a curveball at you.”

“I mean, yeah! It surprised me a lot because I’d never suspected…” He looked at her and she forced herself to maintain a few seconds of awkward eye contact. “The truth is, I’d never really thought about it before.”

“That kinda sounds like you.”

Ash gave a little lifeless chuckle. “Yeah, I guess so. Not my forte, huh?”

“Not when there are no Pokémon to speak of,” Misty replied with a little smile.

“Right,” Ash agreed, copying her smile. “But I really wish you hadn’t left.”

Misty pushed her bangs back, and let out a salty breath. “Yeah, not my shining moment. I bet your friends thought I was super weird.”

“Yeah, they thought that was strange,” he said, bobbing his head a little. “But, I mean, aside from that…I wish you hadn’t left.”

If this was Ash’s version of extending an olive branch, she’d take it. The idea that he still enjoyed and missed traveling with her, that he’d always take her back and travel with her again, it was nice. A gesture more than anything else, but nice.

“Thanks, Ash. But I would have had to go back to the Gym eventually.”

Ash surprised her by letting out a little groan and rubbing his hands on his face. Just the palms, though, so he didn’t get salt and oil all over himself. The sound was enough to draw Pikachu’s attention from licking the countertop, though, and the Pokémon went back over to Ash and patted his bicep.

“I got it, buddy, I got it,” Ash said, bringing one hand back to his side, and the other to the top of Pikachu’s head, scratching around his ears a little.

“You okay, Ash?” Misty asked.

“I thought a lot after you left, Mist,” Ash said, his brow furrowed as though he was still thinking about it. Certainly thinking more than Misty was used to seeing him do. “About all the stuff you said, about what I was doing, and, you know, just about you.”

Misty felt her heart give a little somersault and she had to take a deep breath to push it down.

“And…you were right.”

“I was right?” Misty asked. “About what?”

“About me,” he answered. “About being a Pokémon Master. I guess I hadn’t realized it, but I’ve kind of been on autopilot for years now. Since Hoenn, I guess. Always starting over in a new region with only Pikachu, challenging eight Gyms, doing the League…losing.”

“Right,” she said, following him so far.

She’d said what she’d said to him out of anger. And desperation. And beginning to see a change in her own life, a good one, and wanting him to be able to do the same.

“So,” Ash shared a determined look with Pikachu, “I’m going to do the Indigo League again.”

Misty didn’t know what she’d been expecting, but it certainly wasn’t that.

“What?”

“I know we’re already into the season, so I’m going to have to work quickly to get all eight badges, but I already know the regions and the Gyms, so it should be doable. Plus, I’m going to use Pokémon that I already have at the Professor’s lab. At least to start with.”

“Wow, that’s awesome, Ash!” Misty exclaimed. “But why are you…why?”

Ash grinned. “Because of you! I figure that if I go back to where I started, then I can really see where I’ve improved and what I have to work on. And I feel like I’ve gotten really good at working with a new team in a new region, but now I should try pairing different Pokémon of mine together, maybe ones that haven’t ever battled together before, and, you know, refine some skills.”

“That all sounds really great, Ash.”

It did. It wasn’t that different from what he was already doing, but it was a conscious decision that he was making, and more mindful than she might have expected of him. Then, depending on how this went, he’d have more experience to make an even more out of the box decision after the Indigo League.

“Yeah, I’m actually pretty excited,” he said, seemingly barely able to hold back from bouncing up and down. “Plus, I figure that if I’m in Kanto, then you and I could try to start seeing each other.”

She could almost hear the sound of all the air getting sucked out of the room. It was like that noise when a computer powers down or like doing a cannon ball in the pool and all the water goes in your ears. Plus, she could barely breathe.

“I, I’m sorry, what?”

Ash quickly began to backtrack. “Assuming that’s what you still want, of course! I mean, we never really got to talk about what it was that you wanted back, you know, when we last saw each other, but I just assumed that it was a ‘seeing each other’, ‘dating’, kind of a situation, right? But, I mean, you probably know better than me about how these things go, but also after the way I acted, maybe you don’t want to, I mean…do you want to?”

He was almost cringing as he looked at her. One eye was squinted down, and his nose and lips were scrunched, as though waiting for her to deck him across the face.

“I…um.” If she had surprised him a few months back, than he had absolutely confounded her. “I was under the impression that you didn’t want to.”

He took his hat off and was running his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know. I mean, I didn’t. Or at least, I didn’t know that I did. You know I’m not a master of, I don’t know, identifying feelings. Usually it’s just good or bad or, like, hungry or tired. All I know is that I was thinking about you a lot these past months and I would have preferred to be thinking about you and talking to you.”

“I’m not sure that’s enough to base a relationship on, Ash.”

“But what about our friendship?” He set his hat on the counter and grinned at her in the way that always made her stomach flip flop. “We’re best friends, aren’t we?”

She smiled. “I might have said that.”

“Then isn’t that enough? That is, if you meant the other stuff you said…”

Her face turned a little pink. A small part of her still couldn’t believe that she’d actually confessed her feelings to Ash, and that the world had kept turning. She’d been living in a post-confession world for months now.

“I meant it,” she said quietly.

“Then, great! I mean, I won’t be here, but it’ll be really easy to stop by. And we just make sure that we’re good about calling whenever I’m at a Pokémon Center and stuff. And if you ever want to get away from the Gym, even just for a day, then you can visit me wherever I am and we can, I don’t know, just do whatever.”

He was painting the image with a broad brush, but it looked good to Misty. It looked so good to her. In all of her rosy depictions of how post-confession life with Ash could be if all went well, this had to be one of the best possible outcomes. Mostly because it was becoming real before her very eyes.

“What made you change your mind?”

“It’s not that my mind changed, it just…grew? Because it’s not like I didn’t, um, you know, before. It’s just that I hadn’t thought about it,” Ash explained. “But then when you left, I felt really bad. Bad about you leaving like that, and the things I’d said—the things you said too—bad that you’d left at all. Then, you know, you were on my mind a lot, after a while when I was thinking about you, I felt good! Happy to be thinking of you. And I thought, oh, maybe that’s what she meant. Like, just looking at you made me happy.”

She looked at him. “Yeah, I guess that’s what I meant.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

Then they were just looking at each other, twin smiles on their faces. Then, at all the eye contact, they both began to laugh.

“Okay, okay,” Misty said as they were finally calming down. “Let’s go to the Gym.”

“Uh, Mist, we’re already in the Gym.”

“No, dummy, the arena,” Misty corrected. “You’ve got a Badge to try and win, right?”

“Weren’t you expecting company?”

Misty had forgotten about that. Maybe she’d heard the doorbell ring while she and Ash had been talking—she couldn’t remember.

“I can’t think of anything better for a guest than bearing witness to one of the best matches he’ll ever see.”

“One of the best matches?” Ash asked, eyebrows raised. The he picked his hat back up and put it on backwards, looking at Misty with a fire in his eyes. “Try the best match.”

Misty laughed. “I’m not even sure if he made it, Ash,”

“Screw that!” Ash said. “Let’s go to the Gym! You ready, Pikachu?”

“Pika!”

“Are you actually going to battle her?”

“Pika chu!”

“Haha, you hear that, Misty? Just try and beat Pikachu with your Water Pokémon!”

“I beat cocky punks like you every day, Ash, just try me!”

“Oh, I’m going to do so much more than try.”

To Misty’s surprise, Ash reached back for her hand, and began to drag her towards the arena where they’d had their first match so many years ago. And so much had changed since then, not the least of which being that now her hand was in his. But also…

She was going to beat him this time.

[depressedkakashihatake]

Can’t go wrong with a college student AU 👍

-Kakashi is the 4.0 GPA average student who consistently make’s the dean’s list even though everyone knows he doesn’t study and doesn’t even try. Some people honestly think he has to be cheating to keep the grades he does, but his professors have looked at his past transcripts and even talked to his old teachers and just know that he’s just somehow naturally that smart. 

-He annoyed the shit out of the entire Science  division of the school because he’s really good at the sciences and could easily be an A plus student there as well, but his interests are mainly history and he will not budge on that.

-Gai is the student who got into their university on a sports scholarship, but he also has really good grades. Not Kakashi tear, but still pretty high up. people like to judge him as a ‘dumb jock’ but he is quiet the opposite and he has proven that time and time again in class.

-He prefers to focus on his Soccer career because that’s what he really loves, but he also has a deep love for history and finds himself in a lot of the same classes as Kakashi because of it. 

-They end up in the classics class together and for once Gai is struggling a bit. it’s easy enough stuff to understand he’s just having a lot of trouble with wording his essays to get high enough grades to pass and because of that he’s finding his scholarship threatened and his place on the soccer team uncertain.

-In desperation, he turns to his next best option. The classes best student, Kakashi. he’s fully aware that Kakashi doesn’t actually put any effort into any of his work, but he sort of hopes he at least has some tips on how to better structure his essays and up his marks.

-He approaches Kakashi about getting some help in the class during one of their breaks, and is quiet shocked to find that Kakashi gets immediately quiet and shy as soon as he’s nearby. Kakashi’s not a big talker, but he’s also not known to be shy. if someone says something he deems stupid in class (like legit a waste of time. not a stupid question but a comment or question that serves zero purpose other than attempting to make the professor waste class time) he will speak up and reprimand them for it before the professor even realizes what’s going on. this is NOT a shy man.

-it takes a bit of convincing, but Kakashi does ultimately agree to help him out. Of course, when Gai tells his couch who is giving him a hand he gets a very disapproving “really. that one?” because every single professor knows Kakashi and they know he’s ‘lazy’. that he doesn’t put in the effort. 

-Gai, however, continues to hold out hope and shows up to his first tutoring session with Kakashi in the library. he finds Kakashi tucked away in a small corner with a book in hand, but not a textbook or anything he should be reading. instead, it’s a porno that Gai has heard talk about all around the school. He’s a little disappointed and about to bugger off when Kakashi notices him and calls him over.

-And boy was Gai’s coach and everyone else wrong about Kakashi. sure he doesn’t put in the effort for himself, but as soon as he’s there to help Gai he is all in. He’s helping Gai correct his wording on an essay, making him rethink how best to phrase something he wants to say. he’s making Gai really think and focus and Gai’s amazed because Essay’s are usually boring as shit but somehow Kakashi has turned this into a fun challenge. sort of like a soccer game but for his mind. he actually loves it.

-When he gets his next grade back Gai is ecstatic. with Kakashi’s help he went from a 60 average to 80 easily all because Kakashi helped him think a little better about how to word things for others to read. of course he turns around to thank Kakashi (who sits directly behind him) but for once Kakashi isn’t in class. it’s a little odd, but Gai figures he’ll find him after class in the library or the dorms and he can thank him there.

-Gai spends the next three hours looking for Kakashi. He doesn’t find him in the library or the dorms and is on the verge of giving up as he explores the university grounds when he finally spots Kakashi sitting in the gardens. he goes over to thank the man for his help, but is unfortunately beaten to reaching him by three other people. Three very unfriendly looking people. 

-Gai thinks it’s nothing at first, Kakashi doesn’t look concerned after all, but he does stick around just in case. and boy is he glad he does because after a bit of talking (that he can’t actually hear) one of the guys reaches out and grabs Kakashi by the shirt collar and lands and solid punch across his face. Gai doesn’t even think at this point. he just bursts forward and sends the ass hole flying as he takes up a spot directly in front of Kakashi.

-Gai is a known jock of course, so the other two sort of look at him and then each other before fucking right off. they are not dealing with this. With the issue (for now) dealt with, Gai turns around to Kakashi and kneels down to check up on him. Kakashi’s nose is bleeding and he can easily tell that there is a black eye in the mix for him, and he’s mad.

-He asks Kakashi what that was all about, But Kakashi is reluctant to talk about it. he even goes so far as to say it’s a normal thing, which just pisses Gai off even more.

-Gai, at this point, is over protective and refuses to leave Kakashi’s side until they arrive at his dorm room. he’s about to say goodnight and tell Kakashi to be more careful when Kakashi whispers out a very soft and sort of scared sounding “you want to come in?”” and he can’t really say no because it’s obvious that Kakashi is uncomfortable about something.

-Once their inside Kakashi starts to clean himself up while Gai just kind of stands back and waits. he knows Kakashi well enough to know he’ll speak when he’s ready, and he’s right. as soon as the dry blood is gone and Kakashi has made sure nothing is broken, he turns around and apologizes that Gai saw that. not exactly what Gai’s looking for, but it’s a start. this time when Gai asks what that was about Kakashi very carelessly explains that a lot of people are always tryng to ask him for help with school work like Gai did, but a lot of them he turns down because he just can’t be bothered to try to teach them for one reason or anouther. this guy, for instance, wanted help with his history essay but he’s also known for being rude to the professors and trying to get off topic in class so Kakashi wasn’t really interested in wasting his time. of course, that ended pretty badly for him

-Gai suggests that Kakashi learn how to defend himself if this is really going to be a continuing issue, but Kakashi just kind of shrugs it off and says it’s not something he’s interested in learning. at which Point Gai declares “well if you won’t defend yourself i guess i’ll have to.”

-Kakashi is a little taken back by the declaration, but he’s also blushing really hard and stuttering and he can’t even string two letters together to say ‘no’ so it’s decided and Gai is quiet proud of that.

-And boy does Gai learn fast just how much shit Kakashi deals with. not just people wanting his help with work, but unwanted advances from both Guys and Girls, and even just people picking on him for being top of his classes. all around Kakashi seems to deal with a lot of shit silently that Gai never realized before. it suddenly makes a lot more sense as to why he’s really quiet.

-And as the weeks go by and Gai keeps staying by Kakashi’s side, he finds Kakashi relaxing a lot around him. Kakashi will hide behind him if he see’s an unwanted advance headed his way, or he’ll just relax against Gai’s shoulder while he’s reading his dirty books and Gai is studying. and of course whenever Gai has a history question for him Kakashi always has the answer in 5 seconds flat.

-Soon, Gai really can’t imagine not having Kakashi around him. Kakashi seems a lot more relaxed, and a lot friendlier. even his professors are starting to notice a difference and Gai knows it’s good for Kakashi.

-One night while they’re hanging out in Kakashi’s room Gai decides to rest his arm on the back of the couch behind Kakashi, and is suddenly surprised when Kakashi notices the gesture and returns it by leaning further into Gai. 

-Gai’s not exactly sure what this means, but he likes the feeling. Kakashi’s so open and relaxed with him and it makes him feel special. Like someone Kakashi genuinely wants around him when he’s shoving everyone else out and away from him.

-After their finals, Gai meets up with Kakashi out on the school grounds and decides that they should celebrate by going out to dinner. Kakashi agree’s really quick, but Gai doesn’t really think much of it until he goes to pick Kakashi up from his dorm room and finds himself very much under dressed for the occasion.

-Kakashi gets really flustered fast and says “i think i miss understood”, but before he can go back to change Gai is grabbing his arm and telling him “no, no i think you understood a lot better than me”

-Gai and Kakashi end up having the best night out and Gai finally learns that the reason Kakashi was so quiet and embarrassed the first time Gai actually talked to him was because he never thought the ‘hot jock’ would even notice his existence. suddenly everything makes sense to Gai. Kakashi’s timidness towards him at first, the fact that he so quickly became comfortable around him, and the ease at which he opened up to him. and honestly, Gai loves it all. he hasn’t actually thought about dating Kakashi (or anyone) at that point, but now that he is thinking about it he loves it. he’s so happy to have Kakashi nearby and he loves being there for him. protecting him and seeing him relax and open up. it gives him butterfly's in his stomach that he didn’t realize meant he really liked this guy. 

-Gai and Kakashi have the best night out. Kakashi’s super open and finally tells Gai things about his life and why he loves history so much and choice that field even though he could be in any field he wanted, and Gai gets to gush about soccer and watch as Kakashi not only listens to him, but looks so love stricken as he does. like this boy is head over heels in love and there is no denying it anymore. 

-Gai take’s Kakashi out on at least 3 more dates before they finally sleep together, and it is the best wait ever. he has been with other people, but Kakashi is a whole different experience. he absolutely worship’s gai’s body and loves taking his time with him as long as Gai will let him (sometime’s gai gets impatient and just really wants to Fuck Kakashi right now god damn it XD)

-Kakashi also quickly makes a habit of showing up at every game Gai has and cheering him on. he’s a whole different person than the dude Gai first met. so open and excitable and he gets so happy whenever Gai scores a goal. it’s amazing, having such a supportive happy boyfriend

[sushigirlali]

The Politics of Dancing - Part III (Reylo Fanfic)

Part I - Part II - Part III - Part IV

Summary: Ben has known Rey most of her life, but when things change between them one tumultuous night, can he convince her that they have a future? Or will secret legacies, scheming parents, and fetching suitors get in the way?

Parings: Rey + Ben Solo|Kylo Ren, Finn + Rose Tico

Continuity: Regency AU

Rating: E

A/N: Sorry for the long wait! I've been crazy busy over the last few months between my trip to Japan and work and cosplay prep for MegaCon, but hopefully this chapter will make up for it! Please let me know what you think! 

Master list –> AO3 | ff.net | Tumblr 

——————

The Politics of Dancing - Part III

By: sushigirlali 

——————

London, December 1818

——————

Playing with the last of her roast beef and mash, Rey wondered how much longer her lover would be able to restrain himself from taking Poe's empty seat. More than fifteen minutes had passed since her friend had left the room, so she could only assume he wasn't coming back.

“Poe the matchmaker,” she thought affectionately, knowing he'd purposefully left the door open for Ben to make a move. “I do hope he's able to find love for himself one day, though; Poe deserves all the happiness in the world.”

"Ladies, gentlemen," See-Threepio called to the room, "we'll be serving dessert in a few minutes for those who'd like to indulge." He cleared his throat, looking uncomfortable. "Tea and cakes will be available in the drawing room as well."

More than half the table pushed their chairs back at his words, preferring to finish their meals in comfort rather than style. Rey hid a smile behind her hand at Threepio's horror struck expression. He was a real stickler for the rules, so allowing guests to eat in the formal sitting room must be tantamount to treason to him.

"Are you coming, Rey?" Han said from her right.

"Oh, uh,"—Rey could see Ben rising from his seat in her periphery—"I think I'll stay for a while, thanks."

"Suit yourself," he winked, taking Maz's arm and joining his wife at the door.

"Believe me, I will," she said under her breath, acutely aware of Ben's progress around the room. She could practically feel the heat radiating off him as he came up behind her.

"Is this seat taken, my lady?" he said politely.

There were still a few people in the room with them, so she appreciated his discretion.

"As you see," Rey replied, motioning toward Poe's chair. "Did you enjoy your meal, my lord?" she asked once he was seated.

"Hard to say since I barely ate anything," Ben chuckled. "I was too busy looking at you, pretty girl."

"Don't let See-Threepio catch you saying that," she teased, blushing at the compliment. "He's very proud of the spread tonight."

"Tell that to my mother, she's the one letting people skip pudding."

"She's not." Rey nodded toward the black-haired woman who'd been fondling him earlier. She looked about Ben's age, pretty, and far too interested in their conversation for comfort. "Skipping pudding, I mean."

"So?"

"Don't you want to know why?"

"Not really," he said carelessly. "What do you think dessert will be? I hope it's something chocolate."

"Dessert? Really?" Rey narrowed her eyes. "What is this to you? Some kind of game?"

"What?" Ben regarded her warily.

"Don't play coy with me, Ben Solo! I'm trying to discuss this thing between us, whatever it is, and you're stuck on sweets! Earlier you said I was 'your woman,' but what does that even mean? Are you after an affair? Something more?" Rey meant to ask one question at a time, but now that she'd started, she couldn't seem to stop. "And what happens when you tire of me and move onto someone else—someone like that tart over there?! You obviously have a plethora of suitors. Am I supposed to just step aside and—"

"Rey," he said in sudden understanding, capturing her flailing hands in his own. "I don't want anyone else."

"You're saying that now, but what if—"

"I don't want anyone else," he reiterated. "Just you." Ben released her and reached up to caress her flushed cheek. "Come up to my room and I'll prove it to you."

"Seriously?" Rey rolled her eyes, trying not to react to his provocative dare. "You're incorrigible."

"Maybe I am hopeless," he acknowledged, "but you're definitely jealous."

"Me?! I'm no more jealous of your friends than you are of mine!" she huffed.

"On the contrary," he said mildly, tugging her forward to whisper in her ear, "I wanted to jump the table and rip Lord Dameron apart just for breathing the same air as you."

"Ben, you're making a scene," Rey said breathlessly, both loving and hating how his possessiveness made her feel. “First Finn, now Poe! Is he going to be jealous of Uncle Lando next?!”

"We should go upstairs, then, to speak in private," he said with a secret smile.

"Like we did outside?" she said skeptically.

"Exactly like that," Ben leered. "Your room or mine?"

"Ben!" Rey tried to put some distance between them as several interested parties swiveled in their direction, but he wouldn't budge.

"You've got about ten seconds to decide before I lay you down on this table."

Instantly aroused by his heated tone, Rey stammered, "You—you're not going to buffalo me into—"

"Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven…there's only one word I want to hear."

"We can't! Not in the middle of—"

"Four. Three. Two…"

"Mine!"

"Good choice," he smirked, bringing her knuckles to his lips. "Ah, here's Artoo with dessert. And it looks like the selection includes chocolate! Excellent!"

"Do you always get what you want?" she said, exasperated as Artoo immediately produced a platter for them to share. Ben's servant coughed back a laugh before moving on to serve the remainder of the table, clearly amused by her accusation.

"Not always, but as long as I get you, I'm happy." He offered her the tray with a roguish wink. "Eat up, sweetheart, you're going to need your strength."

Rey suppressed a smile at his strangely sweet statement, examining a few brightly colored cakes before deciding on a decadent dark chocolate square. Absently nibbling on her chosen treat while he inhaled the rest, Rey wondered whether the taste would still be on their tongues when they reached her bedroom later.

——————

Ben avoided his father's piercing gaze as he guided Rey up the grand staircase, attempting to keep the hand at the small of her back gentle when all he really wanted to do was rush her upstairs. The older man appeared surprised at their unexpected closeness at first, but his demeanor quickly lapsed into genuine delight.

"No need to ask if he approves," Ben mused, knowing that despite their best efforts, his father had finally put two and two together. Determined not to be waylaid by the old scoundrel, or worse, his meddling mother, Ben crossed the short distance from the top of the stairs to Rey's door, swiftly shoving it open and ushering her inside. It was a tossup as to whether Han would blow their cover or keep his trap shut long enough for them to—

"Ben, wait," Rey forestalled once they were safely cloistered inside her bedroom.

"What is it?" he queried, already backing her toward the bed.

"Maybe we shouldn't," she objected even as her arms looped around the strong column of his neck. "Our parents are right downstairs, not to mention a houseful of guests. What if we get caught?"

"I don't care," Ben said, smoothing his large hands over her hips. "But if you really don't want this, we can stop."

Rey chewed her lip. "You'd really stop if I asked you to?"

"Of course," he promised, standing absolutely still. "I'm not a monster, Rey."

"No, you're not," she said softly, trailing her hands down his firm chest before bunching them in her full skirt.

Ben choked as she seductively dragged her dress up, revealing smooth legs and satin panties. "Does this mean…?"

"Yes," she whispered, falling onto the bed.

He was on her like a shot, pulling aside her underwear and slipping a hand between her thighs. "Blazes, you're tight!" he groaned, filling her with one thick finger. "Are you sore from last night? Are you sure we can…?"

"No!" she gasped, nails biting into his forearms as he invaded her silken sheath.

"Dammit, okay," he blew out a harsh breath, "give me a second to calm down. We can just—"

Rey kissed him soundly, effectively stymieing his downward spiral as her bold tongue dualed with his. "Mmm, chocolate," she said distractedly after they parted. Then, very clearly, "No, I'm not sore and yes, we can make love."

"Thank god," he growled, kissing her fiercely. "I want you damn so much!"

"I want you too! Hurry!"

Tearing her frilly underwear the rest of the way down her slim legs, Ben left them dangling around one thin ankle before going to work on his trousers. Struggling with the small buttons, he lowered them just enough to free his raging erection. "Is this okay?" he said urgently as he settled between her splayed thighs.

"Yes! Yes! Oh, god!" she keened as he sank into her with one solid stroke. "Ben!"

"Rey!" he rumbled in answer, tunneling into her with muted fury.

Melting into his passionate embrace, Rey met him thrust for thrust. "Ah! It—it wasn't like this last time!"

"You were a virgin last time," he panted, lifting up on his knees and bringing her hips with him.

Rey tossed her head from side to side as the new position gave him greater access to her hidden depths. "And now?"

"Now you're mine," Ben vowed, massaging her tender sex in time with his wild thrusts.

"Ben, I'm—I feel like I'm—oh my—Ben!" Rey screamed as he deftly manipulated her woman's bud, quickly sending her over the edge with a few flicks of his wrist.

"Yes, that's it, my darling," he praised, "take what you need."

And then she was blacking out, feeling so fulfilled that she never wanted to leave her bed—or him—ever again…

"My dress," she murmured a few minutes later, half-heartedly reaching for the pearl buttons running up her back.

"Here, let me." Ben carefully rolled Rey onto her stomach, gratified when she allowed him to undress her without protest. "Now we're getting somewhere."

Rey sighed in relief when he undid the ties on her chemise and garters as well. "Thank the maker."

"Better?" he said knowingly, tossing the whole rig onto the floor before shucking off his clothing as well.

"Much," she smiled, admiring him as she stretched out on the damp sheets. "That was even better than last...um…" Rey hesitated as she noticed his engorged manhood. "Oh, um, didn't you…?"

Ben turned her on her side and hugged her close. "Not yet," he replied, tracing her spine.

"I'm sorry, I—"

"Shh," he hummed, kissing her worried lips. "I chose not to; you didn't do anything wrong."

"You can control…that?" Her curiosity was endearing, reminding him that there was still so much she didn't know about sex.

"Usually," he said with a worldly air, "but I couldn't hold back with you the first time."

"You couldn't?" Rey queried, idly shifting her fingers through his longish hair.

"No." Ben leaned into her touch. "I guess I wanted to prove that I could make it last this time, that I could protect you. I'm sorry I didn't take any precautions last night, and for any consequences that may arise from our coupling. It's just...I've dreamed about you for so long and I—Rey? Are you listening to me?"

"Hmm?" she purred, sidetracked by the feel of his calloused hands on her skin.

"Never mind," he chuckled, palming her small breasts. "I know how to get your attention."

——————

Moaning as Ben drew her long leg over his hip, Rey marveled at her body's capacity for pleasure; she was so eager for him that he glided into her without a hitch.

"Okay?" he checked, setting a tempo so slow that she had to bite her lip to keep from begging.

"Yes!" she gulped, clutching at him like a lifeline. "Make it last," she challenged herself. "Don't rush, don't be impatient. Make him lose control this time!"

But it was difficult given the gulf in their experience. Ben was tracking her every movement, testing her response by hurrying up, then slowing down, shifting the angle of his penetration until her eyes were watering in pure unadulterated bliss...

Then suddenly he stopped moving, jerking her back to earth. "What's wrong?"

"Huh?" Rey croaked.

"You're crying," he frowned, dark gaze set with concern. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she denied, blinking rapidly. "Don't stop. Please."

"Am I hurting you?" he insisted.

Rey shook her head. "No, you just make me feel...um, that is to say, I...uh..."

"Say it," he commanded softly when she trailed away.

"You—you make me crazy to be sure, but you also make me feel...wanted, treasured...loved," she admitted.

Ben touched her wet cheek. "Good."

"Good? What—oh!" Before she could ponder his meaning, Ben resumed rocking against her, shaping her bottom under his massive hands as he filled her to the hilt. "So much for making him beg…" she lamented, overcome as he played her body like a fiddle.

Sliding a warm palm over her taut stomach, Ben rubbed her rosy nipples until they were straining to be devoured. "Do you want my mouth on you?" he said deeply, full lips hovering just out of reach.

"Please," she returned eagerly, arching her back.

"I love your breasts, they're perfect," he said gruffly, swallowing first one mound and then the other. "You're perfect."

"Perfect? Her?" He was everywhere, all over her body, in her body, in her head. He owned her, and she wanted to owe him too. She wanted everything with him. "You're perfect too! Perfect for me! Ben, I—ah!" Her inner muscles clamped down as he tugged on her tips with his teeth, the intense combination of sensations bringing her to the edge once again.

"Bloody hell!" Ben yelped, and it took her a moment to realize that he was reacting to her involuntary reflex.

"Well, well," she thought, clawing her way back from the brink. "Not so in control now, are you, big man?" Excited by the prospect, Rey deliberately tightened her muscles until he was gasping at her ear.

"Rey, don't—I'll—good god!" he pleaded. "If I don't pull out in time I could make you pregnant!"

"A little bit late for that, don't you think?" she laughed, drunk on him, on sex, on love. She would be rational again in the morning.

"Rey, for the love of—ah!" Ben threw his head back as she squeezed him again. "You better be sure this is what you want, sweetheart, because if I put my baby in your belly you're never getting away from me."

"Are you asking me to stop, Lord Ren?" she teased, locking her foot around his calf to keep him in place. "Because you seem to be enjoying yourself immensely."

"Says the woman who was a virgin until yesterday," he growled, kissing her hard on the mouth. "You think you're experienced enough to take me on already, do you? Well, two can play that game, you little minx!"

Rey shrieked as he spread her buttocks and strummed the sensitive flesh between her legs. "No fair, Ben! I—ah! I want—oh, nevermind!" she said, giving into the delicious friction.

They strained together in perfect unison, giving as good as they got, driving each other insane with pleasure and completely forgetting about their little game.

"Rey? Can I—I want to—please?" Ben begged, nipping her neck like an animal in heat.

"Yes, yes, yes!" she cried, hurtling toward nirvana herself. "Ben!"

"Rey!" he shouted hoarsely, flooding her with warmth. "I love you!"

She bit down on his shoulder as his release triggered her own, muffling her screams against his pale skin and sinking into oblivion once more...

When next she lifted her head, Rey realized that Ben had left the bed. "What are you doing?" she mumbled sleepily.

"Preparing you a bath—well, more of a bed bath, given the present circumstances," he winked.

"Ben, that's not necess—"

"Yes, it is," he asserted. "I don't want you to be uncomfortable, love."

Stretching experimentally, Rey grimaced at the sticky residue plastered between her thighs. "Oh. Right. Well, okay then," she said a little sheepishly, "if you insist."

"At your service, ma'am," Ben bowed, grabbing the silken cloth sitting next to the basin on her dresser and pouring some water on it.

"Thank you," she said gently, touched by his consideration as he returned to her side and slid the washcloth between her legs.

"You're welcome."

——————

Pressing a chaste kiss to his lover's forehead, Ben mulled over how irrevocably their relationship had changed in the last twenty-four hours. He loved her. He'd confessed it. But how did she feel? Rey wanted him, he knew, and didn't seem adverse to the idea of having his heirs, but the fact that she'd yet to reciprocate his sentimental declaration was making him anxious.

Never one to pussyfoot around, Ben decided to go for the direct approach. "Rey, did you...hear what I said earlier?" he started slowly. "While we were making love?"

"You mean about me getting too big for my virgin britches?" she said archly, raising her sable head from his shoulder. "Yeah, I heard that, you louse, but don't think that just because you're an amazing lover that I-I...Ben? What is it?"

"That's not what I...uh…" he stumbled. "What I'm trying to say is..."

Rey propped herself up on her elbows, still half on top of him. "That you love me?"

"You did hear," Ben exhaled.

"I thought it was a dream," she smiled.

"It wasn't," he said reassuringly. "This is real."

"For me too."

"Really?"

"I-I've been in love with you since I learned what love was," Rey said shyly.

The revelation gave him courage. "Marry me then," he said seriously, knowing that the intensity of his feelings should scare him, that he should be wary of such a large commitment to someone so young. But regardless of the outcome, Rey was worth the risk.

"Really?" she said brightly.

"Yes. I love you, you love me, and you may well be carrying my child already. Marry me. Please." He wasn't beyond begging, if it came to that.

"But what about your lifestyle?" she breathed. "You've always been the consummate bachelor and—"

"I wanted to marry you three summers ago," he interrupted, "but you were young and I felt guilty."

"No younger than any other lady of my acquaintance who's marriage minded," Rey pointed out.

"And are you? You didn't really answer me before."

"Am I what?"

"Marriage minded," he said with much more patience than he'd displayed while they were dancing.

"Yes," she replied.

"So, you'll marry me?" he said hopefully.

"Yes," she repeated with more conviction. "But Luke won't approve, you know, he's very old-fashioned."

"Unlike the rest of the family," Ben grinned, feeling lighter.

"Well, somebody's got to keep up appearances," Rey snickered, absently tracing his infamous scar.

"Do they?" He trapped her searching hand against his heart. "Is propriety important to you, then?"

"Not really," she conceded, intertwining their fingers. "But before we go any further, I have to know: is your proposal at all due to the inheritance?"

"The what?" Ben tilted his head in confusion.

"You don't know? Well, ah, it could be just a rumor, I haven't even spoken to Luke yet," Rey babbled, "but, um, Finn told me that father has changed his will and...and named me as his heir. I understand if this upsets you, but please believe that I would never have asked him to do such a thing if he had consulted me first."

Ben stared into her terrified eyes, completely baffled. "Well, of course you're Luke's heir. You're his daughter."

"But you're a true Skywalker and—"

"And so are you," he said firmly.

Rey looked puzzled. "You mean I'll be a Skywalker if we marry?"

"No, I mean family is what you make it. You're Luke's daughter, Leia and Han's niece, the love of my life, and the future of this house all rolled into one. You're birth certificate may read Rey Niima, but you're really Rey Skywalker." Ben paused. "Well, Rey Solo, if I have anything to do with—"

Rey cut him off with a passionate kiss, pinning their linked hands above his head. "Do you really mean that?" she whispered.

"Of course I do," he said sincerely. "Although, it wouldn't hurt to have a rich wife if my parents ever follow through with their threats to disinherit me."

"Oh, really?" she said slyly, nibbling on the spot where she'd bitten his shoulder earlier. "I should get something out of the bargain then."

"Hmm?" he murmured, turning his head to give her better access. Ben's toes curled as her tongue bathed a path across his heated skin. "You can have anything you want, I promise."

Rey lifted her head. "How about being nice to my friends?"

"Anything except that," he groaned, trying to pull her back.

"Do you want me to marry you or not?" Rey resisted, still pinning his arms.

"Alright," Ben said in disgust. "I'll be nice."

"I love you," she giggled, kissing him sweetly before going back to work on his neck.

Chocolate eyes nearly black with hunger, Ben basked in her warmth, in her possessive determination to leave her mark on him. He knew the feeling all too well. But before they could indulge again, there were some logistics they needed to work out. "Rey, I think we should—oh, hell!"

Following his gaze to the door, Rey let out a scream of pure horror as Luke, Leia, and Han burst into the room.

"Well, well, well," Han smirked. "What have we here?"

——————

A/N: So...this fic is gonna be four chapters now because I have a few awkward family meeting scenes I want to write XD I'm hoping to get the next chapter out much quicker than this one, but I'm super busy at the moment, so please bear with me. Getting comments asking for more chapters seriously fueled me, so thank you all! 

[leaughrilke]

Karolina + 3, 5, 8, 22

oh u just went right for some angst huh

3.  Scars or painful spots

she has a scar on her ribcage from her fight with jonah

it’s hardly raised, blends in with the rest of her skin for the most part, but sometimes she catches sight of it in the mirror and feels sick.  sometimes she sees it and she needs to just.  sit down for a moment.  take a deep breath.  remember that she isn’t scary like him.  remember that she is loved.

sometimes it gets hard to remember that stuff when she sees it or when nico skims her hand along it when they’re lying together.  sometimes when that happens, she has to roll away, put some distance between them if only just for a minute, just long enough for her to bite back the feeling of revulsion that creeps up the back of her throat.  nico never lets her go far, though, reaching out across the bed for her hand

(post season 2) she has a scar that runs up her back from her rescue.  she’s not exactly sure when she got it - whether it was when she was taken or sometime during her captivity or during the actual rescue, but weeks later nico sees her without a shirt on for the first time since before she was taken

sometimes it hurts.  she might have fucked up some nerves or something, or maybe its muscle memory, or maybe its phantom pain.  maybe it’s her body’s way of remembering.  maybe it’s saying you’re not okay.  you’re not okay.

when she tells nico this one night, months later, when she’s laying on her stomach with a hot water bottle pressed against her back to loosen the tense muscles there.  nico doesn’t say anything for a while.  for a long while.  then - 

“no.  you’re not.  none of us are.”  karolina doesn’t respond.  nico adds, “we might never be again.”  some more silence.  “but we’re trying.  we’re still here.  you’re still here.  that’s good enough for me.”

karolina turns to look at her, to see how the weak light of the bedside table casts her face in shadow and light, sharp angles and smooth curve.  “yeah,” she agrees finally.  “i think it might be for me too.”

and this is more of an emotional painful spot, really, but it’s never been addressed in canon and it bugs me

karolina doesn’t do parties.  she just doesn’t.  she’ll go with the rest of her friends, she’ll gamely hold a red solo cup, but she won’t drink, won’t dance, and won’t wander far from the group.  she gets rlly antsy if they start to separate, or if gert goes off to the kitchen when the rest are in the living room, or if molly goes to play beer pong in the backyard, or if nico steps out front for air.  the boys she worries about, but its a little less urgent, a little less pressing.  she doesn’t feel fear for them pressing into her chest the way she does for the girls.

she doesn’t talk about it.  in fact, she kind of refuses to - refuses to consider what almost happened, what might have happened.  she won’t put a name to it.  but she makes it a point to stay level headed, clear eyed, and with a good vantage point of the room

chase figures it out at some point, connects that night with the way he notices karolina’s watchful eyes tracking molly and gert on the dance floor.  he takes up a post beside her, doesn’t say anything.  it’s enough.

5.  Guilty pleasures 

oh a truly horrifying amount of pie.  like genuinely.  when she goes to pick up the order at the bakery, they send her along with maybe twenty pairs of utensils and a whole stack of napkins, but based on the worried look the girl working the counter gives her, no one that works there is under any illusion that karolina won’t be consuming the entire stack of pies over the course of the next 36 hours.  her sweet tooth is truly astounding

on another note: nico and molly are rlly the only two that are allowed a slice of pie from her hoard.  and even that is given under duress

its not fair that molly can make her chin wobble just a teeny bit and karolina caves instantly

its even less fair for nico to look at her like that and for anyone to expect karolina to have any backbone left at all

 shitty gay media

im talking the cheese fest that you start watching when you’re getting desperate for something gay.  im talking the objectively poorly produced movies that you watched when u were first starting to think oh hm am i maybe...........Gay.  im talking the shows that were largely just subtext but that you, a baby gay, latched onto anyway

when karolina has a very bad week or something particularly awful happens that makes her heart hurt in old, familiar ways, most of the runaways know that karolina doesn’t like being seen like that.  they know to allow her to stay tucked away, hidden up in her room and away from the fray.  she doesn’t like people seeing her with anything less than a mega-watt smile on her face and, while she’s getting better about being comfortable showing a more vulnerable side of herself, she still falls back on old habits when she’s particularly sad or hurting

on days like that, nico can find her curled up in their bed with her laptop, watching episode 4 of warehouse 13 or something

“hey.”

“hey.”

“do you......want to talk about it?”

and karolina won’t answer.  she’ll just reach out her arms, the oversized sleeves of the thrift-store hoodie actually longer and giving her sweater paws and making her look heart-wrenchingly adorable, and nico will crawl up next to her and settle in, biting back her groans at whatever movie karolina queues up next

8.  Bad memories/experiences 

answered here!

22.  People who’ve influenced them greatly 

okay.  hear me out. 

her mother.  it’s - it’s difficult to reconcile it after everything she learns, but her mother is one of the biggest influences on her life and her choices.  

karolina has a very solid foundation, something that shores up her confidence and, for the most part, withstands the pressure of being ostracized in high school and the relative isolation of questioning her sexuality.  and frank was kind of a good dad when karolina was small - he wasn’t around much because he was filming.  when his career petered out, he was around more, but he was still distant to a degree.  she loved spending time with him and adored it when he was around, but he was desperate for recognition and parenting is a thankless job.  frank dean doesn’t really do thankless jobs.

leslie was similarly distant sometimes, but when she was around, it was clear that there was nowhere else she’d rather be.  when she was around, her world very quickly reoriented, making karolina the center of it.  why else would karolina be so dedicated to the church?  yes she believed, but more importantly she believed in her mother.

leslie taught her kindness, ironically.  she taught her compassion.  she taught her to care for her friends passionately, to care for the world passionately.  it’s hard for karolina to separate her anger and betrayal and honest to god fear from those lessons, but she has to.  she’ll eat herself alive if she doesn’t.

[imagine-loki]

Wedded Bliss

TITLE: Wedded Bliss CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 33 AUTHOR: MaliceManaged ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Odin determined to find Loki a wife in a misguided, though somewhat well-intentioned attempt to ‘mellow him’. … RATING: T ______________________

“Loki; what’d you do to Agent Hawthorne?” Edith asked as she walked into the common room after a post-mission shower.

“Do?” he asked back without looking up from his cards.

No one was entirely sure what had possessed Clint to challenge Loki to a game of poker, but it was clear he now regretted it after losing ten times in a row once Loki had gotten the hang of the rules, a rather substantial amount of M&M’s before him.

“Yeah, ‘do’. He was really nervous around me, like he couldn’t get away from me fast enough. What did you do?”

“Pshh; Hawthorne’s always been kinda squirrely, Edie,” Clint chimed in, “Now shush; I’m gonna win this time.”

Loki smirked. “Think so?”

“Oh, yeah; I got you this time, Your Royal Pain in the Ass.”

Edith snorted inelegantly before simply bursting out laughing, earning a glare from the prince and a laugh from the archer. She was still laughing as she nudged Loki’s arm out of the way so she could sit on his lap, throwing an arm around his shoulders and kissing his temple, earning a bemused look she giggled at.

“Seriously, what did you do to Jonah?”

“‘Jonah’, now, is it?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

“I mean, I’ve only known the guy for, like, three years,” she replied then groaned, “Oh, don’t tell me you’re going to be the jealous type. I don’t have the energy for that.”

“I am not jealous; that would imply I thought he stood a chance,” he replied simply, turning back to his cards, “If you must know, I simply made it clear that you are unavailable.”

“Uh-huh. And how did you go about that, exactly?” He simply smirked slightly, causing her to sigh. “Why did it even matter, anyway? I told you, there was nothing there.”

“Nah, there kinda was, though,” Clint chimed in again before cursing as Loki revealed his cards, as he’d lost yet again. “Guy’s had a crush on you for years.”

“What, really?”

“Yeah, really.”

“… Huh.”

“Do I wanna know what you did to the poor kid?” Clint asked Loki amusedly.

“Nothing harmful,” Loki grinned, causing Clint to chuckle and shake his head as he pushed Loki’s winnings towards him.

“Are you guys… betting M&M’s?”

“Hey, when you’ve been a spy for as long as I have, you learn never to bet money at poker.”

“Which by the look of things is the only reason you’re not broke right now,” Edith snickered.

“At least we’re not playing strip poker,” Clint shrugged.

“Oh, my god, Clint, whyyy!?”

“Because you said it like that.”

“If I am understanding correctly, that would rather put you at even more of a disadvantage,” Loki said with a chuckle, glancing down at his outfit then back at Clint in his t-shirt and sweatpants, causing Clint to burst out laughing.

They played another three hands before Clint finally admitted defeat, stalking away grumbling something about Natasha and Holland while Loki tried to keep the gloating to a minimum. He had barely left before Edith helped herself to some of Loki’s winnings, earning a glare she merely smiled at.

“Are you going to tell me what’s on your mind any time soon?” she asked after a while.

“You’ll have to be more specific, Edie; there is always something on my mind.”

“You’ve been a little weird since those guys that attacked last week.”

“Oh, that. I am simply wondering what has come of it, if anything,” he dismissed, “I would have thought father would send word by now.”

“Maybe they’re still working on it?”

“That is the likelier reason.”

“It could be nothing. I mean, if they had to hire outside help to attack you, maybe they don’t have the resources or numbers to go up against Asgard.”

Loki simply hummed in response.

****

The Firebird’s signature whistle filled the mostly empty building, echoes bouncing the sound within the walls, causing her prey to grow even more nervous as she looked around for the source, the canister of stolen chemicals held close to her chest.

“You think your mind games will work on me, brat?” she called out, fighting to keep her voice level, “I know how you fight; you can’t do anything to me, not unless you want to blow us both up!” She backed into something solid and froze.

“That is true enough,” Loki whispered into her ear, “I, on the other hand…”

To her credit, the woman actually tried to turn and fight back, but as soon as she did Loki placed a hand of her forehead and knocked her out with his seidr, catching the canister as she fell. Edith then walked out of the corner she’d been hiding in and called it in.

“That was almost underwhelmingly easy,” she commented, earning a chuckle.

“I’m quite certain the score of men guarding this building would disagree with you there, dýrr minn.”

“Eh, they don’t count.”

“Naturally.”

They had barely boarded the quinjet when they received word they were needed elsewhere, prompting an annoyed groan from Edith, who’d hoped to be back home in time for dinner. Loki for his part simply sent the canister in his hands ahead to its intended destination with his seidr, unknowingly startling several people with its sudden appearance. They settled into their seats and let their pilot fly them to where they had to go.

After a while, Edith felt eyes on her and glanced up from her phone to find Loki staring at her rather intently. “What?”

Loki blinked at being caught and looked away. “Nothing.”

“Uh-huh,” she said wholly unconvinced.

“It’s unimportant,” he insisted, conjuring a book he’d… borrowed from Edith’s room and continuing where he’d left off that morning.

Edith looked at him a while longer then rolled her eyes and turned back to her phone. The rest of the flight was made in silence, though that changed as soon as they arrived to the intersection they’d been called to, where an all out firefight was raging. What made their presence, and indeed Steve and Tony’s, necessary was the use of guns Edith was pretty sure she’d seen in one of SHIELD’s development labs. How the enemy had gotten a hold of them, she couldn’t begin to guess.

“This is as close as I can get!” the pilot called back, having had to bank sharply to avoid taking fire.

“Close enough,” Loki dismissed, opening the ramp and gesturing at Edith to grab hold of him.

Edith wasted no time jumping onto Loki’s back, who then leapt out of the jet, using a quick burst of seidr to cushion their landing for her sake. The SHIELD agents seemed relieved for the extra help, and between all of them they finally turned the tide firmly in their favour; something the enemy soon realised, causing them to try to retreat. One or two managed to get away but the rest were apprehended.

On the flight back, Edith noticed Loki staring at her again but chose to ignore it, knowing he likely wouldn’t say anything in front of Steve and Tony. He seemed to like them well enough, but not enough to share his thoughts the way he did with her. Instead she simply leaned against him as she tried and failed to stifle a yawn, causing the others to chuckled softly.

“Long day, kid?” Tony teased.

“Oh, shut up,” Edith grumbled, earning laughs.

****

“Why don’t you like my new uniform?” Edith blurted as Loki walked away to the elevator after bidding her goodnight, tired of waiting for him to bring it up on his own.

Loki turned to give her an incredulous look at the random subject but she merely crossed her arms at her chest and looked at him expectantly. “I never said I didn’t like it.”

“Not in those words, sure, but as good as. So what’s so wrong with it?”

“I simply like your old one better, that is all.”

“Why?”

“Does there have to be a reason, Edith? I just do. Honestly, it hardly even matters; I am not fool enough to think I can dictate what you wear even if I wanted to.”

“It matters because I actually care about your opinion, even if I intend to keep wearing it. Everyone else likes it; I just want to know why you don’t.”

He closed his eyes and sighed before walking back to stand in front of her; reaching up, he ran a finger under the cord of his pendant until he reached it then picked it up. “This. It is because of this,” he confessed, looking up to meet her eyes, “The old one left this visible; I liked that. Silly, I know, but still…”

“… That is indeed very silly,” she finally said, causing him to laugh softly. She reached up and cupped his face in her hands. “It’s still there even if you can’t see it. I mean, it’s not like I have choice.”

“I know; that is why I didn’t want to say it out loud.”

“I dunno, it’s actually kind of adorable, really,” she teased.

“If you tell anyone, so help me, Edith…”

She burst out laughing. “Nah, I won’t tell,” she smirked, “I’ll save it for a rainy day.”

He narrowed his eyes at her. “You are not the only one who has blackmail material, you know.”

“You got nothing the guys don’t already know,” she scoffed.

“But I have plenty Thor and the others don’t,” he reminded, “And seeing as we will see them next week…”

“… Shit.”

[pass-the-bechdel]

Marvel Cinematic Universe: Captain America: Civil War (2016)

Does it pass the Bechdel Test?

No.

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Seven (30.43% of cast).

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Sixteen.

Positive Content Rating:

Three.

General Episode Quality:

Exciting and full of strong fodder for discussion and debate; by the same token, potentially frustrating.

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:

Passing the Bechdel:

Natasha directs comments to Wanda in Nigeria, but Wanda addresses her response to the team as a whole.

Female characters:

Wanda Maximoff.

Natasha Romanov.

Maria Stark.

Mrs Spencer.

Sharon Carter.

Mrs Zemo.

Aunt May.

Male characters:

James Buchanan Barnes.

Steve Rogers.

Sam Wilson.

Brock Rumlow.

Howard Stark.

Tony Stark.

T’Chaka.

Vision.

Thaddeus Ross.

James Rhodes.

Helmut Zemo.

T’Challa.

Everett Ross.

Peter Parker.

Clint Barton.

Scott Lang.

OTHER NOTES:

My immediate thought on the concept of the Avengers being directed by a United Nations panel is the Rwandan genocide; follow from that, any number of other major atrocities that have taken place while the rest of the world sat back umm-ing and aah-ing over whether or not they should intervene. Anyone who knows a speck of history should be very reticent about the idea of being shackled by such political whims.

Ross refers to the unknown locations of Thor and Bruce Banner as being like ‘misplacing a couple of megaton nukes’, as if they’re objects and not autonomous sentient beings who can go where they please without having to declare their intentions, and that should really be the first major red flag to everyone that this guy ain’t on the level.

Vision’s equation about causality is a false equivalence, and an irrelevant one anyway, since oversight doesn’t do anything to hamper his theory about strength inviting challenge. You’re not actually reducing your strength, you’re just making yourself less able to meet those challenges as they come. I feel like Vision should be a Hell of a lot smarter than this absence of logic (also, looking at the threats themselves in previous films, the only ones which can be considered ‘strength inviting challenge’ issues in which the actions of any Avenger characters have ‘bred catastrophe’ are the Iron Man films, and Age of Ultron, all of which are examples of Tony’s hubris coming back to bite him, specifically. The conflict of every other film stems from either 1) trouble predating Iron Man (most of it SHIELD/Hydra related), or 2) other-worldly overspill where Earth becomes the battleground for something uninvited (Asgardian and/or infinity stone bullshit). And even when Tony is the one creating his own demons, he usually doesn’t do so actively through his Iron Man tech or persona (Obadiah Stane’s villainy is what led to Iron Man’s creation, not the other way around; yes, Tony’s grandstanding did directly invite competition in Iron Man 2, but he didn’t make an adversary out of Ivan Vanko, that was his father’s legacy; and Tony’s particular cruelty may have incited Aldritch Killian, but that event predated the creation of Iron Man by nine years, so it’s not a response to that strength. Only Ultron was genuinely a catastrophic consequence of Tony’s (and Bruce’s) abuse of power, but hobbling the Avengers’ ability to operate does nothing to prevent that sort of thing from happening again, it just stymies their ability to halt the onslaught after it begins. You solve that one with legislation limiting what anyone can recklessly create and unleash (which includes Vision himself, incidentally)).

And see, Steve is right; the Sokovia Accords just shift the blame when things go wrong, functionally it makes the Avengers less accountable for their actions by allowing them to play the ‘just following orders’ game. And the point he makes about the panel still being run by people with agendas is exactly what I’m talking about in that first dot point; when decisions are being made on a political basis instead of according to need, you get atrocities, and any person working for the United Nations is a political agent by default. Sokovia is actually a great example of the kind of place that falls through the cracks on the political stage, as it was noted to be ‘nowhere special’, i.e. not politically valuable, and therefore unlikely to receive a swift response from powerful nations who have no vested interests in the good of the country.

Tony’s argument here is extremely personal and emotion-driven; it’s all his own guilt about Ultron and Sokovia and his decision to stop manufacturing weapons, etc, and none of that is relevant to the rest of the team’s situation or their choices. He’s also utterly oblivious to his own privilege here, in that it’s super easy for him to handwave the particulars of the Accords, because he’s a filthy-rich white American whose main ‘thing’ is new technologies, which are not being restricted at all by these Accords; he has the luxury of just signing on and hoping to negotiate amendments later (and also, of having the resources to be able to thwart anything he disagrees with and just do what he wants regardless if he decides he’s right). He’s not taking a moment to consider what the Accords really mean for those members of the team with powers they can’t just ‘put down’, who don’t have the kinds of options and opportunities he has, up to and including the bargaining power to have the Accords ‘fixed up’ later. I really do my best to see both sides of this situation because there IS merit in the idea of the Accords, but no one in favour of it makes a good argument for it and it’s really frustrating.

Who tells someone that a close beloved friend is dead in a fucking text message??? The real villain of this film.

It goes without saying but I’m gonna say it anyway: it’s very hypocritical of T’Challa to support the Accords while also donning his super-suit and taking matters in foreign countries into his own hands. All of the destruction that occurs in Romania after Bucky escapes from his apartment building is because of T’Challa’s involvement (because he was trying to commit a literal murder!), and that kinda gets glossed straight over here. 

Tony falls for Ross’ trick by referring to Wanda as a ‘weapon of mass destruction’ in the process of his efforts to justify her internment. It’s all really solid writing, really, vernacular choices that highlight the dehumanisation at the rotten core of the Accords and how good people can be suckered into it without realising until it’s too late (even when things like, say, denial of legal representation should definitely be red-flagging up the wazoo right now). But honestly, it’s such a wild leap from ‘Wanda can’t go on missions anymore’ to ‘we’re going to forcibly deny her the ability to go out in public’. Keep trying to tell yourself that’s not a fucked up situation, Tony. 

Steve Rogers holding down a fucking helicopter is just...peak Captain America and I’m so glad.

The part where Tony recruits an actual child who is not involved in this situation at all, spiriting him away to another continent to fight supersoldiers, that’s just...beyond, honestly. I hate this as an introduction for Spiderman because it’s so wildly irresponsible of Tony, it’s an unforgivable thing to do. He’s a kid. This has nothing to do with him. This is where Tony officially loses me in this movie. You can take your self-righteous attempts at justifying your actions and shove ‘em, buddy. You’re actively endangering a child.

We really don’t need Steve to kiss someone every Cap movie. We didn’t need him weirdly mackin’ on his recently-deceased ex-love’s niece. Seriously.

Spiderman’s particular brand of quipping while fighting really irritates me, also. It’s altogether a big no from me on the Spiderman front. 

Still love Ant-Man, though. He’s delightful. I also enjoy Hawkeye so much more here than I have in the Avengers films. 

C’mon, T’Challa. You can’t attack and attempt to kill a guy outright and then play the ‘you must be guilty because you ran away’ schtick. Do a brain about it.

See, everyone else knows why they’re there and what they’re fighting for, they know the stakes. Scott is the only one on Cap’s side who isn’t already part of the situation anyway, but he’s read in on why he’s being asked to get involved and he’s a grown adult person making an informed decision. Peter doesn’t have that, he’s there fighting because Tony said so, and that’s just fucked up. 

Heavy sigh. And here we go with the emotional Tony thing. Yeah, he just saw how his parents were killed by the Winter Soldier. That’s rough. It’s really rough. But he doesn’t just have an immediate emotional outburst, he has a sustained homicidal rage, which includes not only trying to kill Bucky, but also beating the Hell outta Steve, who, y’know, did not kill Tony’s parents. The fight scene lasts way too long and involves too much opportunity for cooler thought to prevail (both in problem-solving and in conversational moments), and someone whose emotions can send them reeling so completely out of control - even when they actively know they’ve been manipulated into it! Zemo literally just told you to your face that this was his plan! - someone with so little impulse control should never be given the power to make decisions for others or wield anything over them. This is all just a really, really great case for why Tony is ill-equipped to be an Avenger at all.

Watching Bucky digging the repulsor out of Iron Man’s chest with his metal hand is...so exciting. Rest in peace, awesome metal arm.

Zemo’s just a regular human, but he gets locked up under utterly inhumane circumstances. Again, the Accords involved a deal with a pretty insidious devil, and they didn’t actually have to prove that Steve’s position was the correct one to such a strong degree (we could have had a more nuanced conversation about the subject of accountability if the two sides were more evenly presented), but damn, the red flags, guys. It shouldn’t have taken Tony until he was horrified seeing his friends in the raft prison to finally clue in. 

Ok, so, I know I already played the ‘I’m pregnant’ card to explain away my meandering commentary for Ant-Man, but it’s still true and only getting more significant as time goes on, so I regret to announce that - despite having looked forward to disassembling this movie since I started on this Marvel adventure - we’re now only a day out from publication and I haven’t written anything yet. I know, the deadline isn’t exactly set in stone and I could just hold off publishing until I’m ready, but that’s a slippery slope and if I start telling myself to just ‘get to it when you get to it’, who the fuck knows when it’ll happen. This isn’t supposed to be stressful, so I’m just gonna ramble a bit and see what comes out. There’s a thing wriggling in my guts and I have a house to paint. I’m doing my best.

First things first: my stance re: Accords is that the best method of oversight is the one which emphasises accountability, rather than permission (with acknowledgment that this is a fictional universe with threats and powers which do not reflect the real world). The kinds of issues our Avenger characters get involved with are typically of the sort which has to be nipped in the bud right-quick before it becomes untenable, and also not infrequently, the types of problems which do not offer them bountiful evidence to present to a board for evaluation before they get the ok to counter it. Faffing about with diplomacy and bureaucratic carrying-on is a great way to, say, allow Hydra to launch the Insight helicarriers and wipe out all dissenters to their rule before you have the chance to stop them, or (if Zemo’s apparent plan with the Winter Soldiers had been his real plan after all), to be stuck mopping up the global damage as an elite death squad roams around destabilising governments. I’m not a supporter of the adage ‘it’s better to ask forgiveness than permission’ in the real world, but in a comic book universe, with the supervillains and the world domination and the plots which consistently include chronic time-sensitive action and little if any concrete evidence? The Sokovia Accords are woefully inadequate. By all means, the Avengers should be answerable to someone, and being required to submit reports justifying their actions (and face disciplinary measures or even criminal charges if they cannot explain themselves to a satisfactory degree) is a completely reasonable thing to convene a United Nations panel to oversee. Maybe Tony can hop down off his high horse and face actual consequences for the Ultron fiasco. That’s fine with me, and it’s a logical thing for the world to clamour for. Shifting responsibility to a panel of UN politicians who will then no doubt be reticent to send the Avengers into anything pre-emptively (or within any kind of useful time frame) for fear of backlash is a terrible solution, and even more so when you’re being pushed into it without any time to evaluate and amend the original document before it becomes law. 

(It’s worth noting that the person most likely to appreciate how easily the UN panel could be hijacked by political machinations not in the interest of the public good is Steve, owing to his personal role in uncovering and thwarting Hydra’s plans; Sam was roped into the Avenging world through that event, and thus it’s unsurprising that he would have the same concern chief in mind when refusing to sign. While Natasha does sign on to the Accords, she explicitly does not do so because she thinks the Accords are a good idea; she’s playing the political game and ‘reading the terrain’, as she says, and that’s consistent with her character. Tony being impulsive and dangerously emotion-driven is also unfortunately consistent, as is his self-righteousness about imposing his will on others to assuage his own guilt. Vision really has no excuse for being so bad at logicking his way to signing the Accords, but it’s no surprise to me that the most clear-headed staunch Accords supporter would be Rhodey, since following orders from others and unquestioning trust in your governing body is dead-on character for him as a career military man. I think he’s categorically wrong, yes, but I’m not mad at Rhodey for being a True Believer any more than I am at Natasha for being mercurial; both are in-character choices and ones which involve evaluative thought processes, and while ‘in-character’ may still be in play for Tony, evaluative thought processes are not, and that does make me mad. As I’ve noted before, he tends to work as a likable character despite his MANY flaws when he’s in his own movies, because acknowledging those foibles and working to fix them is a core part of his personal arcs in each Iron Man film; it was an essential quality missing in Age of Ultron, and one which made a monster of the character which I AM glad this movie is addressing with fallout; still, there’s a lack of tangible self-reflection and making amends from Tony in this movie, alongside some of his worst personal decisions, and I sincerely do not love him by the end of it.)

The good thing is, despite a few lazy elements - Vision! You tool! - and despite some very frustrating decisions, the central dilemma of the film is a strong and nuanced conversation-starter (and perhaps, argument-inducer). Even though the specific scenario and the people involved (Ross (both of them) and the floating Guantanamo, et al.) skews the narrative definitively against the Accords by the end, there is still fodder there for an intelligent debate about the merits of the concept if not the execution. And, most importantly, Steve’s position on the matter is the MCU’s Captain America to a T - a political story about the appreciable and essential difference between doing one’s duty to a concept, vs adherence to a moral code. Disobedience is a core part of Steve Rogers’ dilemmas - not that disobedience IS the dilemma for him, but that it is at odds with the patriotic good-ol’-boy image he is expected to inhabit from outside. Every Captain America film carries with it the idea that to do the highest good can mean rejecting everything that the people and institutions around you try to insist is right; refusing to play a role that has been prescribed to you; always making the choice for yourself, by your ethos, no matter how hard it is. Refusing to compromise when you see the compromise as an evil; planting yourself like a tree, and saying ‘No. You move’ (a great way of keeping Peggy’s influence alive and moving in the plot, by the way, and a key demonstration of how she and Steve met on the same wavelength. Lots of strong details in this movie, tbh). 

My primary complaint, however, is that this is also too much like an Avengers film; nearly all of the other major characters are there, and Tony especially gets a LOT of screen time, and since Cap and his films are my uncontested faves I am pretty salty about having to share the stage for his last outing. The tone and the subject matter are still totally on-brand, but the focus is split, and that’s particularly annoying for what it leaves behind. While Bucky is made central to the drive of the plot, Steve finally being reunited with him, bringing him in, getting the cathartic other side to what was so exquisitely set up in The Winter Soldier, it falls by the wayside a bit and comes off underdone. Sam is certainly there, being wonderful as always, but he doesn’t get a lot to actively influence, he’s mostly just That Other Guy, and it’s a real shame since he was a highlight among super-stiff competition in his introductory film. The touch of Peggy that shines through the film is poignant, but Sharon Carter gets the bad end of the stick with under-developed characterisation and a very ill-advised zero-chemistry attempt to stir a speck of romance in a story with no room for it, and altogether, the kinds of quiet character moments which added so much depth to The Winter Soldier are very much lacking here. We’ve got so many other characters on deck already, plus the introduction of two new major players (T’Challa has a solid, sombre presence which suits the film, and even his hypocrisy fits snugly into the plot so as not to be a barb against him, but as I’ve mentioned already, I am squarely against Peter Parker’s squeaky excessive comic-relief inclusion and the dire implications it has for Tony Stark’s moral compass), and we’re already spending so much time on beefing up Tony’s side of the Civil War. I don’t personally think the movie is bloated, overlong, or incoherent, but it definitely wanders close to all three and I wouldn’t be inclined to argue very strenuously with anyone who wanted to denounce it on any of those fronts. It has a lot going on, not quite too much for an ensemble movie, but more than it should as a story with a single character’s name in the title. I’m still mostly-satisfied by it, and consider it one of the stronger MCU films to date, but as a third Captain America, specifically? A bit of a let-down.