#soft meme boi uwu;;

[secondbeatsongs]

[fagbearentertainment]

Remembered this artist from back in the day that had some gay ocs and one was always fem and that’s awesome I love when ppl draw fem guys but I genuinely can’t tell if he’s supposed to be a girl now.

[jamie-is-out-of-ideas]

sick of the "soft uwu boy" macaque content, sick of the "dad" macaque content. No. He is none of those things, he is clearly like one of those fucked up looking cat memes. (reference included below):

i mean, the resemblance is uncanny

[meo-eiru]

Hihihiii :3 Hope you're having a great day author!

This is my first direct interaction in this website generally speaking, so what better way to start than rambling my head off about the twink slutty baby? YES. Lavi. That cute whore that's been on my mine for a good while now...I want to kiss him, want him to cuddle me so bad grrrr I want to rim his pretty ass and use it as my only life source for the rest of my mortal existence. I want to follow every single one of his instructions on how to please him while he guides me with that shit eating smug grin '>:3'. I totally see him as a power bottom, riding my strap effortlessly while he pins me down telling me how much of a pathetic virgin I am and how fortunate I am to even be touching him, how lucky I am that he's willing to teach me how to make him feel good, how he'd laugh once I'm exhausted and he keeps nonchalantly bouncing still with his endless incubi stamina...MMMM...But also, I want to hit his ribs each time he throws an annoying tauntrum, or make him whimper each time he breaks something expensive, I want to sneak into his phone and watch just all the dozens of porn he has in his gallery along with his search history, I need to make him cry so hard until we're both doubting who's the real pervert here...I NEED to peg him. I NEED to spank his cute jiggling ass until it's red and sore. I need to make him deepthroath my strap and perhaps give me head. I NEED to grope his cute small chest and nurse on his rosy nipples while he tries to make a teasing remark only to be interrupted by his own lewd moans. I NEED to watch how all that lube and cum slowly leaks out of his puffy hole with profane sounds while spreading his supple asscheeks further apart as he whines and mewls begging for more. I NEED to cuddle him from behind while I finger his thight whorish asshole, I NEEEED to give him some genuine, gentle love-making while kissing his pretty face and cooing sweet nothings into his ears while he grabs onto my neck thightly saying shamelessly how good it feels.

I want to give him goodnight kisses on the forehead, cheeks, nose, eyes, tummy and finally his soft lips. I want to feel him clinging onto me with his limbs (and tail of course) while we sleep, even better if he craddles my head on his chest. I might even forgive his murders if he promises to be a good boy with a pretty pout even though he'd probably be crossing his fingers behind his back. I want to do each other's hair and nails. I want him to listen to the music I listen to (Rabbit Hole by DECO27 would be SO him). I want to see his deadpaned and disdainful face when I tell him all my bad jokes. I want to go out with him at those aesthetic cafés and buy him everything he wants even if I won't be able to buy anything else for a while. I want us to get matching couple cheesy things. I want us to do lovey dovey stuff together and maybe a kiss that doesn't end up looking out of a hentai. A wholesome one. I want him to live on my lap. I want him to try make him wear decente clothes from time to time. I want to see his reaction once my mortal life comes to an end. (If he cries and gets depressed he'll look so pretty but if he laughs he'll also look so pretty). I want to show him off to my friends even if I know he's probably the type that types 'uwu', ':3' or 'nya~' either satirically or not. I would bear the cringe for him. I want to send him memes and reels and, overall, just hear his laugh because I'm sure it would be gorgeous just like him. <3

He literally lives rent free in my mind this is a call for help. I crave for more Lavi content.

I'm not horny. You are.

Anyway, thanks for the constant posting! I love how you write your characters and draw/paint! You're one of my favorite artists. Eat well and have a good day/night. :)

Oh my dear GOD this was a ROLLER COASTER

I don't even know where to start. Alright so first of all, this is so deliciously written omg??? You made me put Lavi on a plate and eat him I bet he'd taste like cake. The contrast between the wholesome parts and the extremely unholy parts were crazy I felt like I was in a car that randomly speeds up and down

Rabbit hole is indeed very Lavi, the animation fits him so well as well. If I knew how to make them I'd definitely draw a Lavi version. And yes he's definitely the type who'd type "uwu" and ">:3" unironically

THE DRAWINGS ARE SO CUTE AS WELL!! HE LOOKS SO ADORABLE LOOK AT HIS CUTE LITTLE FACE AND CUTE BUTT

[fanaticsnail]

i have to pick one? i have to pick one?!?!?!?!? -papers fly into the air and scatter down around me as i scramble to make a decision- asdlkjglkjgklfdsjgl oh. oh man. oh boy. oh boy howdy. oh man boy howdy. -begins pacing-

-comes back ten minutes later, a visible conspiracy-board-meme level of writing and string behind me- okay! a decision! has! probably! been made!! asldkjglkfdjg it totally didn't end up with carefully flipping a coin nine times between luffy, law, and kid. totally didn't involve. I 100% guarantee that no coins were not flipped in process >w> anyway

may i request. a luffy keese pls uwu (ALSO! CONGRATS ON THE MILESTONE!!! You well and truely deserve it; you bring such joy to the community with your presence and your writing just!!!!! Congrats!!! (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ) ) - @remisloves

The Kissing Booth: Luffy for Remisloves

Word Count: 700+

Notes: Hi @remisloves It's so hard picking one blorbo to come and kiss us. He's so fun to kiss, and I'm glad he's kissing you! Thank you so much for your beautiful compliments. I've adored getting to know you. Without further adieu, your kisses from the Straw-Hat man himself.

Back stiffening firmly and upright, you grip onto the base of the barstool for support in response to the immediacy of the events occurring in front of you. All you have are your four other senses, the shroud covering your eyes prohibiting your ability to see the situation occurring on the vacant barstool. 

Straining to hear the circumstances sealing your fate, a fistful of berry flung itself deep into the glass jar beside you as the individual laughed enthusiastically. A high pitched voice called out in front of you, behind the individual who sat themselves down at your booth.

“You’re gonna spend your allowance here?” the angry, feminine voice called, “I thought you’d spend it on meat, Luffy!” Your guest laughed a playful snickered hiss through their teeth in response before gently reaching forward and clasping their hand around your wrist. 

"Robin said she's payin' for dinner tonight," the voice called out over their shoulder, "And I wanna have a kiss! How cool is this? It's like they're here just for me!" You were taken aback by their enthusiasm, but attempted to collect yourself to remain as professional as one can be sitting on a booth made for kissing.

Your brows sprung up to the middle of your forehead as your eyes attempted to widen behind the mask to no avail. Expecting your lips to be immediately ravished and tainted by the mouth belonging to your guest, their actions seemed to halt as they gently rub a circle on your wrist with their thumb.

“Can I kiss you now?” his voice gently coaxed you in closer, “I just wanna make sure before I do. Don’t wanna do somethin’ you’re not comfy with or nothin’.” You cocked your head inquisitively to the side, a slow smile drawing up your features in response to his inquisition of your consent.

“You paid your Berry?” you asked him, prompting him to hum a huffed "mhmm" in affirmation. You grinned wider, adding a soft humming, “Then, I’m all yours.” He chuckled again in response, scooting the stool in closer towards you.

“Oh, that’s great!” you felt his hand travel up to cup your neck and draw you in closer, “Right, I’m goin’ in!”

That was all the warning you had before his lips eagerly sought out your own. He hummed in glee, his smile physically plastered against each skillful oscillation he drew against your mouth. He angled his chin in a soft circle, parting his lips and tasting your mouth with his tongue. Brushing against your own, he swirled the morsel within your mouth and retracted it to deepen his sultry and hungry kisses. 

You were shocked at the intensity of his lips, but you kept up with every inch of his passion and matched his energy with ease. Gently reaching out your hands, he caught your wrist and drew it up to place against his shoulder while slipping closer towards you. His eagerness and enthusiasm never ceased with each passing moment. 

His lips were partially chapped, his mouth tasting a combination of sweet and savory from the last assuming barbequed meat he consumed. He snickered into the kiss, slowly hooking his arms around your neck and coaxing you to leave the stool and join him on his feet. 

“Luffy!” the voice again called behind him, “You can’t take them with you. They have to stay here!” 

The individual pouted against your lips before growling in agitation, eagerly consuming your lips with a hungrier desperation than moments prior. The voice behind him again called out to you both.

“Luffy,” she sounded irritated, her sigh falling from her lips the longer yours were attached to this so called ‘Luffy’, “Zoro is still missing. Can we go get him? You can come back if they’re still here?” The person growled into your mouth, prompting you to laugh into his lips. 

Finally breaking away, his hand gently caressed your cheek before his thumb caressed your bottom lip. Your lips parted in response, and you heard his breath exhale another soft snicker. 

“I’m Monkey D Luffy,” he uttered in a soft, husky voice, “I’m gonna be king of the pirates some day.” You nod in response, your grin again growing and revealing your teeth at him. He huffed out a soft growl in response.

“Come find us at the end of the pier when your shift is done,” he ordered softly at you, gently caressing your hand and giving your fingers a gentle squeeze, “I’m the one in the straw hat, red vest, and likely eating a piece of meat.” 

“I’ll find you, Monkey D Luffy,” you nod do him in confirmation, scrunching your nose playfully, and wave him off as he goes to find whoever ‘Zoro’ must be. He snickers at you in response, waving at you before looking between his hand and your eye covering: noticing you'd likely not see him do it.

[davekat-sucks]

Failing marriage Rosemary with its brutal character assassination of Rose is a thousand times more interesting and makes me feel more things than Davekat. Davekat is watching paint dry, Davekat is the complete bland-ification of two of the most charismatic characters in Homestuck. I felt the same about Rosemary but now that Rosemary has gone Grimdark it feels ALIVE, in a terrible way reminiscent of Frankenstein but still alive. Davekat meanwhile might as well be an inanimate object, a sagging brown couch that the characters have become trapped on.

It's the kind of wangst that people have drama to make conflict if the plot wasn't interesting enough for them. And the best way to do this is have characters acting stupid or worst version of themselves. Even if I hate how it is going with Rosemary, at least it's entertaining to meme on compared to Davekat.

Cucknaya has been established even before this update showed her true feelings about the RoesJade affair. That even despite Homestuck 2/Beyond Canon being ABSOLUTE SHIT, the small bits you can turn into a joke can lessen the bitter taste the sequel leaves in the mouth. Neither Hussie, WhatPumpkin, or James Roach has done this yet to Davekat. I can't even count the laundry talk scene as wangst if it just ends up having said two uwu sad soft bois kiss by the end. It's nothing more than a yaoi pity party.

[schnitzelsemmerl]

whats ur opinion on uwu turtle boy laurens and 'if theres a hole theres a goal' hamilton???

also idk i hope this doesnt come off the wrong way but ur really cool!!!!

THE WAY I WENT FERAL WHEN I SAW THIS ASK <3333 💗💗💗💗🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈 TYTYYYY ANON!!!!!! IT DIDNT COME OFF THE WRONG WAY,, IM FLATTEREDDDDD :3

now.

ohhhh boy. oh boy there's a lot i wanna say about how i don't like uwu boy laurens lmao. tbh i feel like this is very...mischcharactized? like, you are telling me that this man who is a abolitionist and is things like brave and loyal (the lee-laurens duel), is seen as like a uwu boy? idk that much about him as a historical figure, but he doesn't even seem like the fandom makes him to be, in the musical. that man probably sets houses on fire in his free time. i'd be scared of him /lh. and cmon, he drew a picture of turtles one time? i think he ate turtle as soup once. i assume people only think he's "soft" bc he shows admiration and yk as feelings. so uhhh my opinion on uwu boy turtle laurens is quite negative :3

onto ham! personally, i think the memes that make hamilton seem like "if there's a hole there's a goal" are very funny. but if somebody actually thinks he was like that? ehhhh....no. in my opinion, yes, he cheated on eliza. and (historically) people think he was in a emotional affair with angelica, i think. however, the angelica-hamilton thing was mostly them playfully "flirting" as friends. and yes, before eliza, there was laurens but in his time with eliza, i do think he loved her. and uhhh then the reynolds pamphlet which i can't explain, since i don't know enough to have a honest opinion on :'3 sorry

in conclusion: "if theres a hole there's a goal" hamilton and uwu turtle laurens is like washing those 2 complex characters down to their core

thank you for the ask!! i had a lot of fun answering it. also, if i said something wrong, please tell me!

[mrstsung]

Vent:

Saw something that pissed me off royally.

If you don't want to hear me vent about people misinterpreting my blorbo. Plz keep scrolling. And if you dont like my venting. Plz ignore. I'll be back with kontent soon.

If any of You ever call shang tsung a twink again I'll rip your head off.

People really do not know the character and it shows.

Fuck this shit man.

Shang tsung is definitely and most certainly not a fucking damn twink. You twatwaffles!

He's a damn hunk. He's masc coded. And just because he carries himself courtly. Don't fucking mean he's a twink. Half of y'all misuse that word too damn much.

Also i personally hc shang not to give a fuck about that kinda shit. He does what he wants. Dresses how he wants. And doesn't care about superficial things that much. He has his preferences but overall a sorcerer that's been around for hundreds of years,decades even. Doesn't and shouldn't give a rats ass about gender,expression of it,sexuality,and superficial shit. He's a motherfuckin sorcerer man!

But in all seriousness,I'm sick of people misusing that word. And I'm sick of that being used as a meme. It was used by mlm queer circles. And people hijacking for funny haha purposes it kinda pisses me off. Especially when they don't even use it right.

There is nothing twink about shang tsung. Fuck off!

Shang tsung if anything is a bratty dom kinda man. Y'all don't seem to care about that type unless the character in question is white. But heaven forbid a moc let alone an asian male character ever is bratty,dom,and masculine. Y'all can't seem to handle that because weeb anime brainrot. Look I'm an anime fan as much as the next delinquent anime trash girl. But i have fucking standards and a brain to know that....MEN COME IN ALL KINDS?! just as women do. Anyways. Shang tsung is not a twink.

Shang can be princess if you want him to be but ffs he's not some fucking sad,uwu boi. He's not someone to be saved. He's a brat emperor and he fucking knows it. He thinks he's fucking hot stuff(and he is) and he's not someones bitch boy. He fucking hates that. Or did you forget that shao kahn fucking abused the sorcerer for decades?! Like im not saying shang with the right person wouldn't be open to the idea or role reversal and being in a sub position or even in a service way. Oh he loves it IF IT'S THE RIGHT PERSON. AKA HIS BELOVED. AKA YOU. but that will have to take some times and Building of trust. Because yeah. That fucking makes sense. Anyways....

I don't mind a sweet shang tsung. I dont mind domestic. I don't mind an au where he's the "good guy" but ffs don't erase his flavor and what makes him well him.

He can be soft sweet,fabulous and fluffy and cute and all that ish without resorting to calling him a twink. Characters are more complex than that. If you want a twink,kung jin exists.

The actual resident mortal kombat twunk ahem.. is johnny cage. So leave my man shang tsung alone from your fucking labels.

Dont ever call him that again.

Shang tsung is not a fucking twink

Shang is a fucking hunk. Twunk if any fucking thing. But overall even these labels dont fit him. He's mother fuckin fucking shang tsung,he does what he pleases! And has no time for labels. Again to me shang tsung doesn't use these types of things. He likes what he likes and loves who he loves. Why should he feel the need to? And if he wants you,he'll have you. But don't ever try to label him. Because you don't know him. And that's the point of his character. He's complex af and i love him for it!

[sapphire-heart-tippy]

I imagine if Tippy was actually canon, the people who haven't watched/read Jojo would be either like, "awww what a cute uwu soft boy smol bean™" or "fucking disgusting get that ugly ass twink away from me"

But the people who have watch/read Jojo would be making memes about him being some kind of creature of the night

Stuff like, "POV you're Vanilla Ice walking into the kitchen at 3am" and it's a drawing of Tippy in the fridge with glowing yellow eyes eating cookie dough with Jonathan's severed head

The fans would know he's not a "soft bean" or an "ugly twink" but some kind of mischievous, impish, weird boycreature who needs to be put on a leash- and the only person who can tame him would have to be Vanilla

[auniverseforgotten]

Starting out with a predictable character for the ship ask: how about any and/or all of your fave Salieri ships, go buck wild, get unhinged, feed the brainrot~ uwu

-cracks knuckles- it's time....so unless i hit some kinda post limit this is all gonna be one,,,fucking enormous post so when you hit that read more I JUST WANT YOU TO BE PREPARED there are like...five ships here LMAO

FIRST UP WE HAVE Mozart/Salieri, the first big brainrot I had for them thanks ENTIRELY TO YOU WOLFIE, who showed me these two before I even played fgo and went -will smith presenting hands- and now i am the same

So generally love this ship because holy/divine and what must end the holy/divine, so in love and in hate for them that they Cannot be normal, and then when i played through Russia...when I PLAYED THROUGH RUSSIA....god you can fit so much fucking yearning in this bitch

who’s the cuddler: 

Gonna say both! Mozart very clearly enjoys attention and likes when all of it is on him. You know that bird meme, I do not like when we are not about me? yeah that's him that's Mozart who else would it be. So he's pressed up against Salieri as often as possible, which Salieri allows, but when he tries to get Spicy in public [like grabbing his ass-] he's gonna get pushed away like nope you're in timeout now.

And Salieri shocks everyone by being a cuddly, hugging person. Mozart about has a heart attack the first time it happens, he rolls up trying to be annoying like "Swee~eetiieeee~ can I have a huuu~uuuug~~" and then. Salieri hauls him in and hugs him and he blue screens. Salieri is def very touch starved, and while Mozart gets some platonic touching he kinda is too? Especially after Russia my god do not get me started on the mess these two are after Russia I have a WHOLE FIC IN THE WORK ABOUT IT IT IS 7,692 WORDS AND IT'S NOT EVEN HALF DONE HELP ME HELP ME-

Anyway if you [like I did] summon Salieri early through like Chaldea Boys and they got together pre lostbelt 1, Salieri would seem unusually affectionate because he Knows what happens, whereas Mozart is like "omg!! the affection i Deserve!! Finally!!" but then after...after Salieri seems desperately affectionate, like he's trying to hold Mozart together with touch and affection alone, and Mozart...well. That fic will be done eventually :) though I'm also not as nice in it LMAO so Mozart does NOT get what he's craving.

who makes the bed:

Salieri, I cannot stress enough how little Mozart cares about keeping spaces clean. He might? Keep his own desk clean so he knows where his compositions are, and the piano ofc is spotless, but aside from that- he would be living in garbage if Salieri didn't h a t e clutter and garbage. Called babe over for a date but now he's deepcleaning my room what do I do-

who wakes up first:

Multifacet answer. Usually Mozart, and then he'll cuddle up to Salieri and just...enjoy the softness. But also Saliei does not always go to sleep so sometimes Mozart will get up and oops babe clearly NEVER WENT TO BED time to fix that.

And then after Russia...thee are a lot more painful memories, after that. Mozart becomes the one who doesn't sleep, Salieri tries to reason, beg, bribe, coax him to sleep but...it's hard for him. The easiest way to get him to sleep is for Salieri to play the piano for him, which is actually good at helping Salieri process some of his internal shit too.

who has the weird taste in music:

Salieri has a wide musical palate but Mozart looks up the oddest word combinations he can think of to throw at Salieri. Unfortunately for Mozart this usually backfires and Salieri finds them interesting so now he has to listen to music he may or may not like-

who is more protective:

OH BOY

So everyone assumes it's Salieri, and don't get me wrong: he is MASSIVELY overprotective of Mozart. He starts out normal prior to them getting together, because he wants to kill Mozart sure but he will also kill anything that wants to kill Mozart because he fucking adores him okay? OKAY??? So riders especially, but also anyone who says something along the lines of "wow you're so annoying I wish Ritsuka would break ur contract" had better start running because he is COMING.

And then once they're together he gets. Much more protective because he is dealing with the Main in Grey but also now he isn't just Mozart he is Mozart his beloved partner. AND If we're operating in my AU w/Russia, man. MAN. HE IS. SO PROTECTIVE.

MEANWHILE Mozart is also really protective over Salieri as well. Physically he can't do much and honestly he's okay with that, he knows Salieri can handle that. But if he hears any rumor about Salieri that paints him in even a minorly negative light, he is Immediately deploying his informants [Shakespeare, child servants] to figure out who started it, who has been spreading it, and he will RAISE HELL. Also anyone who looks at their relationship and talks about the whole wanting to kill thing...that's his business, not theirs, and he'll make it known.

who sings in the shower:

Both of them, though Salieri may be a little more hesitant to do so. But Mozart can usually convince him or competition him into doing it.

who cries during movies:

I feel like I could see Salieri tearing up about movies with a protagonist who, through no fault of their own OR through their own GOOD! intentions became evil/hated because god yeah it hits too close to home, but he doesn't full on cry.

Mozart meanwhile I think he has very funny reactions to movies. Tender but cheesy 'I love you' scene in a romance? Outright cackles. Sad death? Critically analyzing it lik e"okay but could that happen I mean-"

He's fun to watch movies with if you want to hear someone tear something to shreds. The only movies he doesn't do that with are ones Salieri gets like [above] about.

who spends the most while out shopping:

Okay listen. Salieri has objectively more expensive taste and may spend more, but Mozart historically canNOT handle his money so if he goes out on his own and 'steals' Saleriei's credit card the bill will not be as big as one of Salieri's but it's still like YOU SPENT $500 ON ONE DECORATIVE PLANT?? Alsoooo if he goes shopping without Salieri he inevitably calls him like heeey babe I accidentally <3 spent $1000 <3 I need money <3 <3 and without fail Salieri will come and bail him out.

Yes some other servants joke about Mozart being his sugar baby and Mozart finds this HILARIOUS but he tells Salieri and he has a massive fucking spiral that scares the shit out of Mozart and he never repeats it again.

[The spiral is because sugaring is often cast in a more predatory/taking advantage of light, and he...cannot handle that.]

who kisses more roughly:

So I fully think it's Salieri because he is a BITEY MOTHERFUCKER however I do also think he has so much general guilt and religious shame [yoinking from raised as a christian LMAO] about things like physical affection and what is and isn't 'right' affection, so like Mozart. Has to haul it out of him. Luckily he enjoys this process very very much <3 and then once it IS out my god,,,the bitemarks,,,love is the teeth and the neck willingly given INDEED

who is more domineering:

Kinda thinking Mozart mostly because we have seen him twist situations around to solely suit himself, and I can see him doing the same here. Salieri might be Physically more domineering once it's hauled out but overall,,,Mozart.

my rating of the ship from 1-10: 

I will never be normal again/10

OKAY and we're at the first of the polyships, Mozart/Marie/Salieri! This one is, once again, all your fault Wolfie <3 but while I'm kinda meh about the whole "oh Marie makes Salieri docile" I also think Marie deserves a harem <3 <3 so really the ship we're DISCUSSING is this one but Marie also has d'Eon and Sanson as well, she's the center of a huge polycule do you see my vision do you understand me

ANYWAY while a lot of people in Chaldea think this is a "oh Marie and her two silly boys" or "Mozart and Salieri want to be together but have to have Marie buffer" that is not the case! They both just really deeply adore her, and Marie adores them too. My answers will prob be shorter here bcus adding Marie doesn't really change the overall dynamic a ton.

who’s the cuddler: 

Once again, all of them!! Salieri is a surprisingly huggy, touchy person, and Mozart wants all attention always. BUT Mozart does put aside literally all his selfishness for Marie, so he is a little more mellower about that in this ship. Though he does sorta get like...touchy about Salieri like why aren't you giving Maria all the attention in the world and he has to sit him down like Mozart I love you but you do not tell me how to love people

AND MARIE HERSELF. SHE LOVES EVERYONE SO MUCH ALWAYS. ALL THE HUGS ALL THE KISSES ALL THE LOVE. She is never without a person on her arm, the person just changes XD

who makes the bed:

Still Salieri, Mozart dgaf even with Marie and while I think Marie would I also...don't think she would do it Right because lbr irl Marie Antoinette was incredibly privileged and she 110% had servants for things like this and while Salieri appreciates her trying to do chores I feel like she just makes it worse on accident sdzfgh

who wakes up first:

Toss up between Salieri or Mozart, esp after Russia [AND OH MAN IS THAT HARD FOR MARIE esp if they're together before and then after...both of her partners have just irrevocably changed and no one will tell her WHY or how she can HELP], Marie is def a sleep until noon person if she manages it.

who has the weird taste in music:

Salieri still has a wide palate, Mozart still looks up what he thinks is the weirdest stuff possible, but Marie goes through so many idol phases. Like you know how a lot of pop groups will start all soft and sweet and then just. Evolve? Marie starts wanting all these soft songs so ofc they write them for her but then she'll be like "okay this week i'm bad!! >:3 fuck!!! >>:3 i'm so sorry for swearing-" and they'll switch up her idol vibe.

who is more protective:

Salieri is the most physically protective. His level of protectiveness over Mozart doesn't change, but he becomes very protective over Marie as well. After dating her he has to take time to like. Think about Sanson and rationalize that because you KILLED HER but also Marie loves him too so it takes time for him. To relax around him. But he does! He'll still throw anyone into a wall who insults either of them though.

Mozart is still fiercely protective over Salieri but also with Marie...he knows she can somewhat defend herself, but she's not as adept at it as Salieri is so he gets Physically protective over her too. Has started fights he has no hope of winning and either wakes up in the infirmary or one of Marie's other partners rolls up to back him [if it's Salieri we get a nice -gently bandaging him- "what the FUCK is your problem you can't keep DOING this-"]

AND MARIE. Marie...was a queen. Marie...knows the power that lies in words and regal bearing. Someone will call Salieri a mindless death machine, or Mozart a useless layabout, and then Marie will go and have tea with the kings and queens and mention it in the most "oh bless their hearts" way and then that person...is so unbelievably fucked.

who sings in the shower:

Marie is the most enthusiastic about it!! Since she wants to be an idol she is Always singing, and shower acoustics are scientifically proven to be so good for certain notes and when you find those notes it's very cool so she'll be singing in the shower f o r e v e r

who cries during movies:

Marie all the way she will be BAWLING in animal movies, romance, romcoms, animated movies, music movies, she is SO EMOTIONAL AND SO MOVED she loves everyone and she just has to show her emotion through TEARS

Salieri actually doesn't watch movies much with her because of it because it upsets him/the Man in Grey to the point where he wants to attack someone to make her feel better but it's not That kind of tears so he has to just not be in the situation

who spends the most while out shopping:

Salieri still spends the most in terms of Amount, though he only ever spends his own money. But given Mozart in life and. The sheer fucking excess french royalty enjoyed. Yeah he's footing the bill for both of them LMAO the sugar daddy comments do NOT stop and they really eat at him so Marie puts her foot down hard and tells anyone that if she hears them again she'll make their life a living hell and then leave like "if you tell anyone no one will ever believe yooouuu~ <3"

who kisses more roughly:

Salieri and Mozart retain their same level of roughness with each other but are all but worshipful with Marie, she is a Queen, their Queen, and they just. Can't. And honestly I don't really see Marie enjoying roughness that much?? So she's fine with it, though she makes sure to reassure them that it's valid and what they do with each other is fully okay w her, she's not Against roughness just doesn't love it herself.

who is more domineering:

Again not really Marie's thing but she also doesn't mind when her other lovers get domineering with each other. IF she was into it though she does have. Literally everyone wrapped around her fingers so <3

my rating of the ship from 1-10: 

Iiii'd say about a 6.5/10? It's still a good ship but also Marie just isn't very developed? But given we do have Marie alter now I imagine I'll reconsider once she's out in NA.

AAAAND SECOND POLYSHIP, Salieri/Jalter/Dantes, which I first got into shipping when I saw this art by Sabu a while back: clicky, and they've just been marinating in my brain since?

Like it's both because I love all of them but also I think having each other...would mellow them out [but not change their characters lmao] and also avengers,,,,loving avengers,,,,gotta be my fave dynamic

who’s the cuddler: 

Here it's deeeefinitely Salieri. While Dantes is. So absolutely 100% touchstarved once he's got physical affection I'm not sure how much he vibes with it? Like at first it's like. Wow I wanted this forever...but stop touching me right now please. And he adjusts but he's still not super touchy?? At least imo. But he's 100% okay to be cuddled unless it gets to be too much, in which case he explains that and the others back off. He does enjoy throwing his arm around their shoulders or having a hand on their hip, just full on cuddles can be overwhelming.

And Jalter...Jalter is SO touch starved but she also REALLY WANTS physical affection but she cannot ask for it, she can't, ask for physical affection??? No thanks she'll go die instead. But Salieri will so easily hug her or keep an arm around her waist the whole time he's with her and she is DYING of happiness inside.

And ofc they reciprocate too

BUT ALSO it's fun to imagine the relationship as Jalter and Dantes being together already and then they're like "we like your funny music, magic musicman" and then they have this really affectionate Italian and are both just ??? !!!! about it because he is so physically affectionate when he looks like THAT [mentally death warmed over but in a crappy microwave]

ALSO HE INSISTS ON DANCING WITH THEM AFTER JALTER MENTIONS WANTING TO DANCE W RITSUKA IN SHINJUKU Jalter comes in the room and it's set up as a fucking ballroom because Salieri is so fucking extra god I love them

who makes the bed:

Salieri, Jalter and Dantes could not care less, truly. They do tend to keep things cleaner though because they can tell it's something that bothers him. Especially Dantes leaving ash everywhere my god he got some on Salieri's suit on accident once and the sheer DREAD he felt- [Salieri waved it off like it was nothing but given Salieri's general attitude that doesn't mean it's OKAY]

who wakes up first:

I'm gonna say it's usually Dantes but if Salieri stays up all night making music or dealing with the demons then it's both of them. Not sure if he'd stay in bed to cuddle or just slip away to leave Salieri and Jalter in peace and go do whatever. Making sure Ritsuka's still on the same plane of existence, probably.

Jalter sleeps in until like 5pm if you let her LMAO

who has the weird taste in music:

I feel likt Jalter, we saw her Edge in her summer berserker form, she just knows the most random bands. Salieri, like always, retains a wide music palate, and I feel like Dantes sticks to one or two favorite genres.

who is more protective:

As remains the answer for. Literally every ship I do this for. THEY ALL ARE WAHOO!! ARE WE SEEING THE PATTERN YET???

So while Salieri is seen as the most physically protective one in the above two relationships, being with two of the most Avengey Avengers definitely makes him seem. A lot more chill. He'll still fuck someone up don't get me wrong but he does come off as much more calm and reasonable.

Jalter is loudly protective and puts most of her energy into being scary af so that no one even dares Try anything with either of her partners. She would kill and die for them [and they would for her] and anyone who tests that is getting stabbed and set on fire.

BUT DANTES TOPS THEM BOTH w showing up in a servant's mindscape or cornering them in a dark alley or abandoned part of Chaldea and telling them in excruciating detail what will happen to them should they so much as make either of his partners even Slightly upset. [yes he did have a confrontation like this with Mozart because Mozart = stressed and angry Salieri but luckily Mozart being an antagonistic bitch [affectionate] by nature he just brushed it off and Salieri had a Long talk w Dantes about their whole weird besties to mortal enemies to besties dynamic]

And in battle never have them on the same team because while they will be FIERCE they will also abandon all other duties to protect each other any day of the weak.

who sings in the shower:

Salieri and Jalter, though I think Salieri is better at it than Jalter is. Dantes could never.

who cries during movies:

Jalter and she hates it and threatens her boyfriends that if they tell anyone she will Grondement du Haine them SO HARD but it's all in good fun.

who spends the most while out shopping:

Salieri all the waaaaay I can't see Dantes really spending a lot of money and while Jalter likes fancy shit she also...obviously doesn't always go for it -glances at the shinjuku dress- but Salieri my god this man can SHOP

And it's not just for himself either, he'll roll up for so many dresses for Jalter and smaller things for Dantes at first so that he can adjust to the spoiling before buying more and more. They're both a little worried about it but he's shown them the receipts and somehow he just. Has money??? Where are you getting it Salieri??? Where is the money????

[I feel like any time they're in a singularity/event/thing for long enough to get a job Salieri will just. Rayshift in and get one to alleviate the boredom LMAO so he has so much money bcus he has a million side hustles]

who kisses more roughly:

Definitely a playful competition here though while Dantes and Jalter I feel wouldn't care as much about PDA Salieri reeeeaaally does so when they're trying to get him in on the aggressive kissing they need to be in their room or no go.

who is more domineering:

Mmmm tossup between Jalter and Dantes, I just know it isn't Salieri. He's just too chill deep down when not exposed to Mozart, he just wants to fuckin live lmao

my rating of the ship from 1-10: 

11/10 I will never recover from this one either

ALRIGHT NEXT UP one that my brain surprised me with but does? Seem to be something of a ship, Salieri/Hessian. Another Avenger ship why am I the way I am

ANYWAY My favorite thing about them is Lobo definitely got them together, this music man who has piano that resonates with his grief and anger rolls up and wow...this music nice...and since he and Hessian share a braincell, Hessian can't hide from Lobo the fact that he likes Salieri. So Lobo, being a good wingman, keeps dragging Hessian to Salieri LMAO and it is actually Salieri who reaches out in the end. Lobo is Pleased that the music servant belongs to his rider/pet [does this go against Lobo lore yes do I care no]

Also Salieri learns sign to communicate w Hessian bcus he LOVES HIM and it's also an IMPORTANT SKILL TO HAVE admittedly I'm not sure which they would use....Chaldea is in Antarctica,,,Hessian was German but was deployed to the US,,,,confusing to decide which! there is international sign but it's more of a pidgin sign language so yeah....hmm

who’s the cuddler: 

So I can't really see Hessian as even considering being cuddled until he is and then he's just !!!! wow this is great actually!!! He's been so focused on Lobo getting back his freedom for so long that he just...put literally every single thing aside for him. Didn't consider his own happiness or loneliness or anything, he just...wanted Lobo to be free. So now in Chaldea when Lobo is trying to encourage him to accept Anything for himself [not lobo lore compliant BUT I SAY PUBBY IS GOOD AND LOVES HIS PET], and when Hessian lets himself just. Accept affection from Salieri. He loves it. Hugging, cuddling, holding hands, hand klisses, shoulder kisses, etc just. Love.

AND SALIERI REMAINS CUDDLE CHAMPION OKAY THIS MAN IS MADE OF RAGE AND LOVE AND DAMN IT ALL HE WILL HUG PEOPLE but also once he realizes how little Hessian ever got physical affection he becomes Much more PDA accepting, since it's still 'polite' PDA. Also this man will sleep on Lobo he loves having a big ol pupper so much and Lobo loves his new pet too.

who makes the bed:

You cannot tell me Hessian doesn't rest curled up on Lobo I won't believe you so Salieri by virtue of him actually Owning a bed.

who wakes up first:

I don't...know that Hessian actually Sleeps. Like rest and recover sure but does he really need to sleep with no head and with magic that is definitely tied to Lobo? Anyway he doesn't sleep so him but also Salieri on his bad nights.

who has the weird taste in music:

Hessian loves exploring ANYTHING and EVERYTHING he is learning to live again and Salieri is so happy to encourage him and find new music for him to listen to. When he's not too murderous around Mozart he asks him for recommendations too which Mozart takes SO seriously because Salieri!! Asking him for something!!! ASKING!!!! HIM!!!!!!

Lobo will eat the stereo if it annoys him though they've lost five by now

who is more protective:

Another both option but with an added "do not fuck with Salieri or the giant fucking murder dog will come and chew your face off"

Salieri tends to be protective because I feel like Hessian and Lobo are seen as signs of misfortune and the like and he loves them both so much so um fuck off actually

Hessian is really good at noticing when Salieri is getting overwhelmed or drowning in self loathing so he is A LOT more protective during those times.

And do not...set off...the phantasmal puppy...

who sings in the shower:

I don't. Think Hessian can sing. So Salieri for that one!

who cries during movies:

Hessian [if he can't sing how can he cry IT'S ABOUT VIBES] any time it's a movie that reminds him of what Lobo has gone through or is about dog peril. He breaks.

who spends the most while out shopping:

Bold of you to assume Hessian even has any idea on shopping at all he does not give a fuck so it's Salieri again and once again spoiling with gifts!!!! But most of the gifts are for Lobo because he's A GOOD BOY

who kisses more roughly:

So Hessian is kinda out bcus he doesn't have lips but also I think this is one of the softer Salieri pairings, formed out of a ghost puppy being a wingman and a shared love for music. So it's all gentle kisses from Salieri too, just...soft...

ig Lobo's big ol wolf tongue kisses are probably aggressive but in an excited dog way not a painful way,,,

who is more domineering:

Again not super applicable here!!!

my rating of the ship from 1-10: 

8/10 sweet ship to think about I enjoy it but as is clearly shown my favorite part of it is that Salieri gets An Dog

And now we have reached...the final ship that honestly came at me with a steel chair fr I did not see this one coming I made one small comment about FRIENDSHIP and then my brain went OKAY BUT WHAT ABOUT Salieri/Phantom as a ship AND HERE WE ARE

So this one...hinges a lot on opera,,,opera,,,friendship,,,but then they really are similar honestly? Salieri is an innocent monster via rumors and slander whereas Phantom is canonically an innocent monster due to him just playing a part that society assigned to him. I feel...like they could really bond over the crushing weight of what society has created them to be. And yeah I know the Phantom of the Opera is different than Salieri but the Phantom of the Opera in FATE differs from the one in the book, he's just the 'model' for it.

AND THIS ONE IS ALSO REALLY FUN BECAUSE. Due to Phantom's reputation literally EVERYONE is worried about it. Like given all they have is the og story: Phantom GROOMED someone, KIDNAPPED them, tried to keep them FOREVER, did a LOT OF MURDER etc so like. Erik is not that at all but everyone is constantly just like Salieri,,,are you sure this is a good idea,,,and Salieri is like sorry are you shittalking my partner right now? -wildfire blade held menacingly-

who’s the cuddler: 

Salieri ONCE AGAIN but this time I feel like it's a little related to Erik so used to people interpreting him as an exact copy of the Phantom of the Opera and thus he's internalized himself loving others to be evil and grotesque. It takes Salieri a lot of time and patience to gently coax Erik into accepting physical affection from him, and it starts very very small, holding hands alone, gently tucking his hair behind his ear also alone, jsut...slowly acclimating him to touch. And even then Erik. Cannot handle PDA, cannot handle feeling like people are looking at him so Salieri willingly keeps Everything to the bedroom but also makes sure people know because he loves his partner and also because cmon Erik has to get jealous af sdfgh

who makes the bed:

Salieri continues to be the Only Chore Doer and makes the bed. Tbf I feel like making the bed w/claw hands would be really hard, at least Salieri can put his away.

who wakes up first:

Bold of you to assume either of these crumbling messes sleep. If other ships gently encourage Salieri to sleep, Erik ship is just them constantly in the hell that is their minds, sleep deprived and kept awake due to nightmares. They may Occasionally sleep but it's. Really rare. The avengers are thiiiis close to staging an intervention as Salieri's eyebags become entire eyesuitcases

who has the weird taste in music:

OPERA OR...NOPERA BAYBEE there is no ROOM for any other NOISE only OPERA MAY EXIST HERE or whatever Salieri feels like playing because that will Become opera once Erik starts singing to it <3

who is more protective:

Alright so the answer as usual is both! For Salieri a lot of it is challenging people who call his relationship into question. It doesn't matter that it's usually out of concern for him, he and Erik are Fine and actually help each other cope a lot with being innocent monsters, so it drives him up the wall when people fling accusations at Erik.

BUT ERIK IS WHERE IT GETS FUN :D because like. Kinda playing off the way he has been in summer events several times now where he just...slips through cracks in reality...plays the game beyond the universe...he's very protective of Salieri on multiple levels. This can be very handy for a less "must protecc all servants" master because. They could throw Salieri into any tense situation and Phantom would follow, find out all the background info and who is doing what, and relay it all to Salieri to try and protect him.

But. Salieri tries not to get put in situations where Erik's protectiviness will Really shine through. Because while he is the model for the Phantom and not he actual Phantom, when he decides someone is an actual threat to Salieir...that's it, game over. Like they are going to fucking die as soon as he can feasibly do it. There''s no threats, no promises, you hurt or threaten Salieri to a degree Erik decides is dangerous? You're dead, do not pass go, do not collect $200. He's an assassin for a reason. Yes he has dropped a chandelier on someone before, yes they did go to couples counseling about it.

In battle though they don't really act too protective because they both know the other can handle themselves.

who sings in the shower:

Both of them, it turns into a full on opera in their quarters, sometimes servants will sit outside to listen. This is very embarrassing to Salieri.

who cries during movies:

Neither of them. While Salieri gets emotional with a certain kind of movie [mentioned,,,in one of the above ones, maybe Mozart?], he doesn't actually cry, and Erik just doesn't get moved by movies.

who spends the most while out shopping:

Salieri, I don't think Erik likes to go out much? So he'll buy fancy clothes and nice food and wonderful wine and bring it back for a nice date in <3

who kisses more roughly:

BOTH YAHOO both very possessive of each other, both really get into kissing though Salieri is bitier than Erik. But I mean Erik leaves clawmarks so <3

who is more domineering:

Switches between them tbh

my rating of the ship from 1-10: 

My brain latched onto this ship yesterday and I am so fucking feral about it/10

NOW I THINK TRULY THE ONLY WAY TO END THIS. IS TO CONSIDER. What if Salieri dated all of them at once because it's HILARIOUS LMAO

Mozart and Erik would HATE each other because they both want the Most attention, Marie would remind Jalter too much of Jeanne d'Arc, Dantes would see Erik as a threat [everyone would until Salieri would sit them all down and be like YOU LISTEN OR WE'RE DONE] the onyl chill one is Hessian and Andersen hears all about all of it from Salieri and dies laughing every fucking time

They would be such a chaotic mess and the only way they would work is if Salieri had an absolute breakdown in the middle of all of it and they're all like OH GOD I HURT MY BAE so they sit down to discuss it as Adults AND EVEN THEN IT WOULD STILL BE A CLUSTERFUCK LMAO Salieri sitting there like "I know I wanted someone to love BUT THIS IS TOO MANY ALL AT ONCE" which is why i don't really ship them in a polycule this big [they'd be metamours save for the poly ships] BUT IT'S FUNNY TO THINK ABOUT THEM ALL TRYING

Holy fuck this got so long THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE ASK WOLFIE I HOPE IT FEEDS YOU WELL ask meme here

[jasper-dracona]

Tried looking up “what kind of masculine am I transmasc quiz” cause I’m feeling directionless rn and literally all of the results were “am I transgender? Quiz” “am I a trans man? Quiz” except for one.

Then it was 7 questions long, two of them were just like “are you cottage core, goth or lame?” Another 2 we’re just shitty meme/reaction image picks (on one of which 3/6 options were pictures of capybaras) and then the last fucking question was pick some music and the options were: “Korn, gorilaz, Lemon demon, Nirvanna, Mitski, and Skip/idk those”

Like. I’m trying to get answers here.

The answer I got was like “you’re cis passing. Like honestly a little too well. You need to be gayer.”

You fucker I have D cups I ain’t passing for shit. If I’m not goth or a cottage core uwu soft boi then I must just be boring huh. And boring=cis huh.

[imsosocold]

Describing the fandom interpretations I'VE seen of TOH characters using single sentences and common media/fandom tropes-

Caleb: Uwu Sunshine Boy.  

Evelyn: manic pixie dreamgirl.   

Belos: cringefail whiteboy idiot.

Masha: based theyfriend.

Hunter: a heem heem whimper.   

The Collector: RAWR XD baby waby.

Both Camila and Eda : Mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy .  

Gus: scrunkly dunkly wunkly.  

Lilith: ~crazy~wine aunt.

Willow: Woam.

Vee: sussy worm on a string (of fate).

Luz- sad girl smol bean.

Amity: sinaminroll sass-a- frass.

Alador: sad soft boi.  

Darius and Adrian but in different directions :yassss daddy.  

Odalia: Satan.  

Jacob: meme trash.  

 Raine:the less interesting half of my OTP.    

Kiki: the homophobic dog .  

King: scrunkly wunkly doggo woggo bestie westie.  

 Boscha: pogless gamer grrl.

Steve: scrimblio bimblio.   

Eberworlf: grarrr hiss drool.  

[gnzma]

your Guzma is THE Guzma ever, honestly. I love how you keep his intimidating nature without reducing him to a generic thug and how you express the real love he has for his team without turning him into some UwU Soft Boy. it can be hard to balance vulnerabilities against power when you have a "scary" character, but you do it perfectly.

1000/10 would recommend

[ the portrayal meme makes me sob ]

[ CRIES THANK YOU SOBS im glad i manage to make him. like. multidimentional ;u; ]

[papirouge]

The foolishness aside, grizemann is so attractive. But MAN the French nt has so much drama 😭 I can’t let go over Olivier cheating on his cute normal wife, and that girl (wasn’t she an escort?) straight running from the hotel to the journalists about it. And his gross fans dragging his wife saying that she wasn’t attractive anyways. Yall I can’t live that WAG life. They’d drag me hard for not being a model lol. Mpabbe parties with a new girl like every week. Pogba yelling at pavard in that one like he was about to rip his neck off omg. Benji is so cute too with his curls and apparently nice to fans but I’ve read that he was toxic in the locker rooms at the wc and at Bayern too (I heard that he’s also really disliked in France idk why?) 🥲 and benzema ……. Where do you even start

jesikdkekzkdk not surprised to see someone having a crush on Griezman lol He has that typical uwu soft french boi lewk. He was cute when he was younger

I'm no soccer head but I heard (male) fans didn't like him because he's a himbo (I mean look at his "hope" hand tattoo 😭) and did black face but imo I think they're mad because he's hot LMAO (them Black Arab players did much worse than anything Antoine did but they still stan them so the issue is definitely elsewhere)

Griezmann and Giroud are the only players I check fpr because the first is cute and the second is Christian lol GIVE GIROUD A BREAK!! His cheating was before he became Christian. He became Black french favorite when he started thanking Jesus after matches ✝️💀 #ledieudeGiroud (#giroudsgod) started trending on Twitter whenever he made a goal during the world cup - it was so freaking hysterical 😭 that's when this meme became viral :

Black evangelicals LOVE HIM. He's super open about his faith and that's so refreshing and endearing. Of course them Muslim were seething saying he's making far right dog whistle but Black french twitter dragged them (as we should imo - Muslim should learn to be quiet and stop trying to silence Christians. Like yeah, there's still Christians standing in that country, COPE.)

Mbappé is France sweetheart. Everyone loves him (even racists are very lowkey about him because he's just so untouchable) I don't really check for him though but at this point I automatically assume every soccer player is pervert hooking up with escorts. I don't see how he could be any different.

Them Black/Arab players are a mess and I don't care the slightest about them. They can all choke. The last decent Black french player was Lilian Thuram. The soccer world is so colorist that people asked him why is wife was Black (like him....). Benzema is known to hang up with an infamous Arab supremacist (Bassem) constantly dunking on Black men dating Arab/Muslim women, so Black men hate him (because Black men are obsessed with women of other race) but imo I think it's hilarious I want to see them cannibalize & destroy each other🤍

[soundwavereporting]

Cosmos/Soundwave for the ship meme?

ship ask meme

What made you ship it?

Honestly, I think it was probably rereading the series back in...2017 maybe? I know when 43 first came out I was VERY ambivalent about the ship, lmao

What are your favorite things about the ship?

The similarities! Soundwave and Cosmos are both spies, both extremely lonely, with abilities that tend to make other people see them as kind of...two dimensional? Cosmos is the Spaceship Guy (with a cool camera!), Soundwave is the Telepathy Guy (with extreme loyalty!).

I also love that Cosmos will call anyone out on their nonsense, including Soundwave. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Cosmos is the taller of the two. I don't care what canon says, I'm going by his pre-return to earth height.

Cosmos isn't really a soft uwu boy...let him be petty and sarcastic

[negative-speedforce]

what food item or bad habit would become your OCs' entire personality to the fandom?

Siv: Eating enchiladas, angsting, flirting with every pretty girl she sees (would get woobie-fied)

Jay: uwu soft boi

Hailey: smoking, drinking wine, being a mysterious "bad girl" (she'd probably get Yandere-ified)

Cassandra: using dark magic to solve literally any problem

Arya: Meme gremlin

Esme: Party animal

Ember: Being a flamboyant elder queer, drinking martinis

Cat: Breaking the law, listening to objectively bad music, being shy

Gina: being dead ngl