#society needs to accommodate people

[pitiful-anonymous-vampire]

vent post cuz I need to vent 😅

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trying to do even the most basic tasks as a mute person is excessively time consuming at best, and downright impossible at worst. When I had to change my school computer password, it took over ten emails between myself and IT to get the password changed. The school policy was you had to phone the IT desk to confirm your identity. But, of course, I couldn’t do that. Eventually they allowed me to change my password. This process though took me three days compared to the five second phone calls the other students made

I am currently looking for a new massage therapist and physiotherapist, as mine have moved away. I found one place close to home that seemed promising. Their “contact us” page had an email address listed, so I emailed them. They said they would not book me in if I didn’t phone.

I decided to give up on them and try somewhere else. There was a very promising place in the same building as my therapist.

Once again, I went to their “contact us” page and they had an email address there. I emailed them and said I had some questions about their practice (due to being super immunocompromised and disabled, I have to repeat this process everywhere I go. It’s frustrating). I received an email back saying they’d answer my questions if I called them.

Later today, they actually called me. Unfortunately, I couldn’t do anything about that… I just watched my phone as it rang and wished I could just answer it. I ended up emailing them a second time, explaining why I could not answer their phone call.

My therapist has been ill the past month, so I’ve not gotten to go to any appointments. I decided to do an online appointment using a site that allows you to text, video call, or phone call. I’ve used this service for years and have always texted. I have a note on file that explains I can only text and why I can only text.

Unfortunately the only therapists available were ones I haven’t had before. They both spent up to a third of my appointment time telling me that it would be so much better for me to phone them or do a video chat with them than to text. I basically wasted my money because I spent most of my time explaining why I couldn’t do phone or video calls. The one therapist, even after I explained, continued to tell me to video call her throughout the appointment.

I am constantly prevented from accessing the care that I need, simply because I cannot communicate in the way people prefer. It’s frustrating. Why put several contact options when you’re just going to refuse all but one? Where does that leave people who cannot communicate in the way that you’d like?

And this isn’t just a mute/ non verbal, semi verbal issue. There are many people who cannot get the care they need because of an inability to communicate in a single acceptable way. I’ve spoken to many people about this issue, and it’s shocking just how many people are struggling unnecessarily simply because they can’t communicate in a single acceptable way. Disabled people, neurodivergent people, people with speech impediments, deaf and hard of hearing folks, etc all end up left behind.

It has become so frustrating that I just had to vent somewhere. I’m so tired of always having to work extra hard just for the most basic things. And this doesn’t just apply to my speech issues. My illnesses and disabilities also require excessive planning and effort to ensure basic accommodations. I feel like I am living life on hard mode at all times. Everything is so much more time (and energy) consuming than it has to be. I’m exhausted trying to simply have access to the things most people do. It’s taken me four days so far just to get a hair appointment! I have been trying to get a physio appointment for three weeks! We need change as a society so people can have access to the things they need and want. I am absolutely fed up having to deal with this kind of thing every single day of my life

Sorry… that was a longer rant than anticipated 😅 I just really needed to unload my frustration somehow

[idkaguyorsomething]

a support group for people with “unconventional” daemons. jeff with his flounder he has to carry everywhere in a huge tank. lois with her poison dart frog everyone is afraid to touch. sam with their elephant that’s the reason they can never go higher than two stories in most buildings.

[psychoticallytrans]

There are three main models of disability that are in common use. The moral model, the medical model, and the social model.

You may not have heard of the moral model before, but if you are disabled, you have felt the impact of it. The moral model is disability as a failure of character. It sources the problem of disability in the character of the disabled person. It's the people who insist that if you just tried harder, were better, had a better attitude, that you would no longer be disabled. It is a model that is used by ableists in order to conceptualize of disability as a failing of the individual. An extreme example of this mindset are the Christian Scientists, who believe that all illnesses and disabilities should be healed by the grace of their god and that if you are not healed, something is wrong with you. It is the the most cruel of the models, and the least successful at assisting disabled people.

The medical model is the model used by the medical establishment and by those who put their stock in medical authority. It sources the problem of disability in the body. It measures disability against a theoretical average person, and seeks to make disabled people match that average person more closely. This model works very well for disabled people with disabilities that can be measured, have a potential treatment plan, and want their disability gone. It does not work very well for people who do not match all three criteria. If they match the first and second but not the third, then strict adherents of the medical model often fall back on the moral model, stating that they are stupid, lazy, or selfish for not being interested in being cured. This also often happens if treatment fails to improve the condition of the disabled person.

The social model is a newer model, largely designed by disability activists and scholars and often defined in opposition to the medical model. It sources the problem of disability in the interaction between the disabled person and their physical and social environment. It argues that the solution of disability is to change the environment so that impairments are no longer an issue. This model works very well for disabled people who consider their disability not to be an issue when fully accommodated. It does not work well for people who consider their disability an inherent impairment and/or desire a cure. Strict adherents of the social model often fall back on the moral model when considering these people, stating that they are short-sighted or that they worship the medical model. These are the people who state things such as that depression would not exist in a world without capitalism.

When a disabled person fails to behave as expected by the model a person has of disability, the moral model is almost always the fallback position, because many people cannot conceive of why someone would disagree with them other than a lack of good character. This is a problem, because the moral model proposes no solution but to ignore or abuse the disabled person until they behave as expected.

Another notable interaction is that adherents of the medical model can often be persuaded to support the more traditional parts of the social model, such as providing large text resources to people with impaired vision, so long as there is empirical research backing it. However, they rarely support more radical arguments that challenge how we define disability and how society should be structured or restructured.

All three models have major failure points. The moral model fails every disabled person it is applied to. The medical and social models both fail different disabled people when adhered to strictly. The best approach at the moment seems to be hybridizing the social and medical models, so that they cover each other's weak points and fit the needs of the widest spectrum of disabled people. The main barrier to this is that they are often defined in opposition to each other.

[toddtakefive]

btw todd’s reluctance to join the dps because he doesn’t want to read (which is then accommodated for) and is scared to put himself out there (which is also worked through) being read as todd not wanting to go AT ALL, and thus neil making the proper accommodations (“todd anderson, who prefers not to read, will keep the minutes of the meetings”) and encouraging him to step out of the box that stifles him being seen as ‘forceful’ or like he can’t take no for an answer makes me insane with rage

[autisticlee]

sometimes being autistic really separates me from other people. there's an invisible wall that separates me from people, society, the world. all those things can reach through the wall and slap me around, but it's one way. I can't reach them. and they never pat me on the head. nothing nice comes through. and I can't get out. I try to share good things. nothing gets through the wall. they see it as I purposely don't come out of the room i'm locked in. they think I act like i'm too good for them. they are offended and reach in to slap me. i'm desperately screaming and trying to reach out to them. trying to be part of things. but I can't. I can't connect with them. I can't be part of society. this wall isn't my doing, but they are making sure it stays up and making sure they only send negative signals through. know I can't stay behind this wall or I literally can't live. but also can't get out. i'm stuck and blamed for it. told i'm not trying and it's on purpose. i've been kicking and screaming at the wall my whole life and didn't make a dent. the lonliness and disconnection that can be felt when autistic is something nonautistic people will never feel or understand.

[keepthetension]

still thinking about grief and recovery and support on this show because oh boy did the shows airing this weekend put me in my dead parent feelings i said before i was concerned about how porjai is dealing with her own grief, and this episode we saw her easily talking about rung, and even casually yelling to rung that she misses her! maybe this is me projecting, because i can't do that, but this seems like a pretty healthy place to be, especially contrasted with mhok's relative silence, and i'm glad!

and mhok's silence doesn't come from anger or resentment (which are valid ofc, but i did wonder if imprisonment gave him time to work through this to some degree) but out of protectiveness. i fucking loved this, because it felt so realistic and lived-in. i lost a parent to intimate partner violence, and i NEVER open up about it; people sure have Opinions, and it makes me insane

but day finding out about rung offscreen wasn't on my bingo card, tbh. because we've been with mhok through everything he's found out about day

it doesn't bother me, exactly, but it feels slightly unbalanced, and i suppose what i'm thinking is: knowing what happened to someone doesn't actually tell you how they feel about it, or how it affects them, or how you can support them

mhok found out from that lady sharing personal medical info she had no business sharing about day losing his eyesight in the accident, but he put in the work to understand what it actually meant for day. and in most cases, we've seen day telling mhok about what troubles him in his own words (his crush on auggy, why he was avoiding his friends, etc)

bereavement is probably statistically more common, so i suppose it may not need to be spelled out for an audience? but i am wary, because there have been so many shows where characters are visibly — to me! — struggling with grief and everything else matryoshka-ed in it, but audience reaction simply doesn't factor this in

i'm also thinking about how often mhok tells day a story about himself with the intent of making him smile ("i bought two bracelets just because i had money to spend" "i found this rooftop when i needed to sober up" "my sister called this false rice". i'm certain there are more!). because this is what a caretaker does, or because this is what mhok does, or both?

because this always made me wonder what it would take for mhok to talk about something that wouldn't make day smile, or because he wanted to share. in the former case, it'd have to be something pretty bad!

of course, talking isn't the only way to recovery or intimacy. and mhok going from "i'm breaking up with my devoted gf because i don't want to drag her down with me" to "i'm going to ask you to be my bf" is pretty significant!

but as they navigate the journey from being caretaker and client to being boyfies, the balance has to shift around a bit to them supporting each other, consciously choosing to be there for each other

in this episode what we got was: you only want money to buy that car. and i'm not even mad about this, because this kind of comment is very in line with day's character. but wow. day, i know you're feeling big feelings, but throwing one of the few things you know about mhok's life in his face is. not it!

[anistarrose]

you know you've made a good post on tumblr dot gov when you start getting people crying and screaming in the notes because of your subversive and dangerous ideas, like "maybe access to food that won't hospitalize you should be a right instead of a privilege"

[queerstudiesnatural]

the sex education ep about disability rep and accessibility has me bawling on the floor i'm a fucking mess. FINALLY. finally we're talking about this.

watching all the students have a sit-in until the lift gets fixed made me break down crying like oof. ok. yeah 😭

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

having a lot of thoughts about how people use 'normalize' when they mean 'destigmatize' or 'make the nature of into common knowledge,' and how they conflate 'the perception of this thing as normal' with the thing actually being a normal occurrence, and how it is in fact incredibly harmful to try to convince people that an ideal situation is normal when that does not map onto their lived reality or the dangers they need to be aware of to avoid. it is 3:33am though so writing up an actual poast about it will have to wait for later

[lastoneout]

One day I will write a long ass post about how much, as a disabled and neurodivergent person, Tae Zombieland Saga means to me

[bunnyb34r]

Lmaoooo I took that autism thing yesterday and my results were very high (agression, fidgets and tics, fixations, noise sensitivity almost all filled out; anxiety soooo close to being filled out, poor eye contact ALL filled out; social difficulty little more than half; only depression (surprising) and abnormal posture below/at half) and I was telling mom who I'm still trying to convince I'm autistic and she was like oh let me take it.

None of hers except depression and anxiety even came to the half way point AGSGGSGSGSGSGS we were like "oh... huh"

Bc I thought well maybe everyone feels like this aside from eye contact and stuff. Yeah... no agsgsgdgdgb

[a-room-of-my-own]

'm sorry if i upset you.

I'm older than most here but my congenital defect means my life is very closed.

I'm disabled. Cis-male. Unlike the "pillow angel" featured in the media a while back, i still have a grown up mind. That did not save me from a similar (but more extensive and male version) of the "Ashley Treatment".

Not easy coping with a baby sized body and baby-like features. The epiphysis of the bones is absent. The epiphysis, a secondary boneforming center at the ends of the bones, without them I can't grow.

Oh my goodness I had no idea it existed if you’re referring to this:

I’m at loss for words, I’m so sorry. If this was done to you while you were a child this is to me a terrible infringement on your human rights. I wish I was eloquent enough in English to tell you how shocked I am this kind of procedure can be done to innocent children, even more to those with no ability to even understand what they’re being subjected to. I hope you can find some peace and healing. Are you safe now?

[mrsm3w]

I was two months premature and stopped breathing an hour after I was born, but thanks to the wonders of modern medicine I was hooked up to a ventilator for two weeks and have no lasting health problems from the original illness. (I may have lost my hearing while on the ventilator, but that’s speculation, given that no one realized I was deaf until I was 2).

*this is just about having medical needs that would have meant death without modern medicine, so no ‘I’d probably die from not being able to distinguish the blur as a lion’ we have a healthy caveman squad who cares for each other, we just also dont have, yknow, penicilin. etcetera.

pls reblog for sample size etc

follow for more occasional useless polls :)

[luulapants]

talking to people recently out of prison: a do-and-don't guide

Don't ask, "How was prison?" (Answer: traumatic!)

Do ask, "What are you most looking forward to doing again now that you're out?"

Don't ask, "How long were you in for?" (Answer: too long!)

Do ask, "Is there any technology or pop culture I can help catch you up on?"

Don't ask, "How are you going to avoid getting back into bad behaviors?" (Leave the paternalistic bullshit to their PO.)

Do ask, "How's your support network? Do you have people helping you adjust?"

Don't ask, "Do you have a job yet?" (Their PO is asking them ALL the time, don't worry.)

Do ask, "Are there any opportunities I should keep an ear out for and let you know about?"

Don't ask, "Do you have an ankle monitor?" (And definitely don't ask to see it - no one likes to be gawked at.)

Do ask, "Do you have parole restrictions we need to accommodate when making plans?"

Don't say, "Hey, you shouldn't be doing that - it's against your parole!" (A lot of parole restrictions are bullshit, and they are an adult who deserves agency, even the agency to take risks.)

Do ask, "Are there any bullshit parole restrictions you need help working around?"

Don't ask, "Are you an addict?" (Not everyone in prison is, and they'll tell you if they want you to know.)

Do say, "If there's stuff you might get in trouble for, like empty alcohol containers, I can throw them away at my place."

Don't say, "It's probably best if you put your whole prison life behind you and start fresh." (Just because it was traumatic doesn't mean important experiences and relationships didn't happen there.)

Do say, "If you have letters from friends on the inside that you don't want your PO to find, you can keep them at my place."

Don't say, "You paid your debt to society." (Regardless of what they may have done, harm cannot be repaid through senseless suffering.)

Do say, "You are more than the worst thing you've ever done."

Do not ever ask "What were you arrested for?"/"What did you do?"/"Were you guilty?"

People are more than the worst thing they've ever done.

[sitronsangbody]

Please, please be considerate of your fat friends' needs and limitations. Fat bodies are heavy to carry around. I move about the world slower than my thin peers, and I've often had to choose between pushing myself to keep a pace that takes absolutely all my energy, or being left behind, when walking in a group. I don't always feel safe to ask that everyone walk slower, because there's a prevalent idea in society that fat people need to exert themselves as much as possible at all times in the service of weight loss, and that we never "really" need rest, therefore it's a good thing whenever we're exhausted. Fat people and thin people alike are taught that fatness is a flaw, one that fat people ourselves are to blame for, so we're not entitled to any accommodation or consideration. A friend of mine who is fat recently told me about a dinner party she went to where the chairs were far too small for her and she was sitting very uncomfortably. After the meal she politely suggested moving the party to the couch, but the others didn't want to. She spent another couple of hours in unnecessary pain, and didn't dare tell them about it. I love my thin friends, but some of them just don't realize that I weigh probably twice as much as them, and yet I balance it all on the same size feet and carry it on about the same size bones. I'm like if they had a whole other them to carry around at all times. Why would that not have an impact on how I function? Please - take us into consideration when we're part of activities. Ask us which activities work and which don't. Adjust the pace so no one has to be dry heaving and sweating barrels on what's supposed to be a casual walk. Make sure venues have seating that fits us. Make it safe for us to speak up if we need something. When we do, don't treat us like we're the problem. Finally: yes, we have heard of losing weight. Even those of us who might (and many never will, whether you like it or not), won't do it on a moment's notice. If your response to "fat people deserve accommodations" is "what if they weren't fat though", you're playing a fantasy game. It's pointless. We are fat and we are here and we do partake in society. Work with that.

[linneakou]

Something that needs to be added: there have been scientific studies about sleep rhythms and I believe it has been proven that some people are wired to be morning people and some are wired to be night owls, so before anyone tries to poke at the bit where prev was deriding the practice of 'fixing' sleep schedules... don't. :)

Ok wait let her speak