#society if there were more dr bad endings...

[gia-batmm-crickle22]

!! Dr. Ratio, Nous & Fuli and Amphoreus Theory !!

Okay, I've got something cooking up, and this is just a theory, don't worry, so please take all of this with a grain of salt ^^; Also, this involves spoilers so please turn away if you haven't played the 3.0 update yet!

So, people have theorized that Dr. Ratio is from Amphoreus. Before the proof was just simply "His clothes and aesthetic are similar to Amphoreus!" But after Amphoreus was released, the theory is actually getting more proof.

Here's one proof:

Ratio and the Titankin of Strife have interesting similarities. Not simply because of the color and the book, but power-wise, they have similar abilities. They both can turn into stone, with Ratio more replicating himself after turning into stone while he has also the ability of wearing a stone bust.

So my theory goes;

What if Dr. Ratio is a half-Titankin that was exiled from Amphoreus?

After the Main Quest, we get a message from Aglaea that sends us to the Adventure Quest "I Once Was In Arcadia", which uncovers a love story between a guy named Paris and a Strife Titankin Furiae Archer.

This was enough for me to understand that Titankins CAN feel more than their original path like Strife. From this quest, I've also understood Amphoreus natives fear Titankins and would have them discriminated at one mistake.

From that, I made the theory of Ratio being half-Titankin. Of course, that would mean his parents were hated and possibly executed. And since Ratio has the face and intelligence of a human with the skills and power of a Titankin, he was seen as a danger to Amphoreus. This aligns to the fact that the Sky Titan Aquila refuses to let anyone leave the planet (from what Aglaea had stated), so the people sent Ratio (probably when he was a child) in attempt to get rid of him. However, Aquila spared him (given he was exiled, not attempting to escape).

Now, ik Amphoreus was destroyed and what we're looking at is just the memory of it, so...

How would this be possible?

Well, in the game, we see that Titankins can change into stone, right? And when you change from Past/Day to Present/Night, the Titankins change too. They turn to stone, almost like a hibernation that keeps them alive despite the years.

With that in mind, I theorize that Ratio was also able to do that, even as a child, his powers/instincts took over and he stayed in stone when he landed in another planet, unbothered and sleeping. When he finally awakens, he's still a child, but Amphoreus is long gone.

Now, where does Nous play a part in this?

As we know, Erudition is one of the paths that's involved with Amphoreus, thus Nous has a role to play in this theory, especially in terms of Ratio. Unlike Fuli, who kept the planet's memory, Nous (as theorized) has no interest with a planet that no longer exists.

This could explain why Nous refuses to answer Herta's questions about Amphoreus.

Now, about Ratio. Ratio was rejected by Nous in joining the Genius Society because he cares about people more than the pursue for knowledge. Ratio has a weakness that Nous makes sure none of the other Genius's have, so THEY turned him away.

But what if it was so much more than that?

What if Nous is aware that Ratio is from Amphoreus and not only do THEY not like the fact that Ratio has a weakness, but THEY also believe that Ratio will take advantage of his place in the Genius Society to help/rescue Amphoreus from ruin? Whether Ratio remembers his home planet or not, Nous didn't want to take the chance, believing that Amphoreus is a doomed planet from the getgo and their fate shouldn't be changed.

This could explain why Fuli (possibly) sent THEIR Memokeeper Black Swan to input the planet Amphoreus into the thoughts and ideas of the Trailblazers while (possibly) sending THEIR Memosnatcher to attempt to distract Nous and Herta from the building of THEIR plan.

When you exit Amphoreus, it's very different from the other Bad Endings. Elio is usually the script supervisor, but Amphoreus isn't.

It's an adventure that started with Black Swan, possibly sent by Fuli, thus the conclusion is that Fuli is the one who tugged on the strings and changed the script/altered the script to have the Trailblazers in Amphoreus, a land that even Akivili hasn't been in, and save Amphoreus.

With this theory, these questions remain:

Why is Fuli trying to save Amphoreus?

Will Nous try to stop the Trailblazers from saving Amphoreus?

Will Ratio return to his home planet after it's saved?

---

Again, this is all just a theory! I'll probably publish this in other platforms, sooo yeah ^^;

[midnightdemonhunter]

Have you played DR:AE and if you have what do you think of it? I really liked Komaru (parallels with Junko go brrr) and Monaka in it tbh! I also really liked Nagisa and Kokoto (though... how they handled some of Kotoko's arc was- honestly some of the worst content IN danganronpa and I don't blame anyone for dipping during... that... part of the game) and I thought they improved upon Touko and Syo's characters as well! If you haven't played (or... watched a let's play because let's be real the game play is... janky) I definitely recommend it! I think you would like it - or at the very least, appreciate some of the reveals at the end of the game and maybe the bad ending. Komaru is a really compelling protagonist. And a dumbass, but only in the best ways. I think the bad ending is probably the most compelling of the DR bad endings to me, too, I definitely recommend doing both good end and bad end for this game but that's not me. It's not really a long bad ending, but it was genuinely chilling when I first experienced it.

I have not played or watched DR:AE! It's on the vague list I've got for DR stuff to play/read, below DR0. Honestly, I'm not too interested in any of the kid characters, but I have heard excellent things about Toko and Komaru's arcs!

I've watched bits of a playthrough and I do think it's fun to see a survival based, apocalypse-focused DR game, even if it's famously janky and features some eugh writing decisions. I also really like the note/journal collecting element, and have read all those scraps! (And despair hagakure, if that counts for anything)

I also just watched the bad end, and it does look fun! I love how the narration warps as the horror sinks in!

[generallemarc]

TvTropes got a key part of Metaphor Refantazio wrong.

More's novel isn't supposed to be an overly rosy interpretation of our world for the sake of casting him as being too idealistic from the past. In fact, writing off the novel like that shoots down the central theme of the entire story in how powerful fantasy is. To a feudalistic monarchy where what little potential for social/economic mobility(which are always one and the same) exists is decided nearly entirely at birth by a person's race, is a 21st century first-world democracy not a utopia of boundless freedom and possibility? Democracy, trial by jury, freedom of religion, freedom of speech and the press-forget Euchronia, even in our world such things would have been borderline incomprehensible to someone living in feudal Japan or Europe, and those societies didn't have a race-based caste system that puts even India(well, modern India anyway) to shame on top of all the other feudalistic woes. Our world is objectively better than that of the game and MAJOR GAME SPOILERS BELOW

because our world is the past of Euchronia, this means that, regardless of how hard the people who wrote this tvtropes page want to push their weird agenda of liking the past being bad or whatever, the past that More wrote about is objectively better than the present day situation in Euchronia, and almost everything the protagonist and the party do after defeating Louis is in service to bringing Euchronica closer and closer to the way the world was before it ended, where people could govern themselves, slavery was considered abominable, and all were equal under the law. Yeah, More's version of our world is utopic in the sense that he leaves out, intentionally or otherwise, the fact that we still have problems, that just because we don't have the caste system from hell that Euchronia does doesn't mean that we have literally zero discrimination whatsoever. But this feeds into, again, the central point of the whole story: the power of fantasy. More's idealized version of our world isn't just meant to inspire the readers of his novel, it's meant to inspire us, the true seekers. It's meant to show us how amazing our world would look to someone in a world like Euchronia, to help us see how many things we take for granted, and how many things can still be improved.

Tl;dr-in Metaphor Refantazio the past was objectively better than the present and TvTropes is dumb for trying to twist things to portray More's flaw as being that he puts too much value on the past instead of his real flaw which is the exact opposite-that he gave up on his ideals of bringing back all the wonderful things we in the present, and their past, had, and that later he tried to escape into a lotus-eater-construct version of the past that didn't actually exist rather than commit to trying to bring it back for real because that commitment comes with risk and fear.

[ishaslife]

Astarion has been breaking my poor heart.

This post will contain spoilers for the game and Astarion's romance/backstory. Before anyone comes at me, I want to say that you are the main character, you are supposed to change the fates and behaviours of your characters, especially if you are romancing them. It's a video game, that's kind of the point.

This post is extremely long and I apologise.

This analysis is based off my playthrough.

(*) means check notes at the bottom of the post.

I wasn't expecting to like him as much as I do. Don't get me wrong, I really liked him during EA and I thought he was funny, charming, flirty with a dark past and all that was just a means to cover his trauma but since the full game has come out and we've gotten to know more of him, it truly breaks my heart to see and know what he has been through. My sister and I were watching his reactions to be being rejected, being told that Tav only wants sex and forcing him to do things he doesn't want to do, it is truly heart-wrenching.

Many people expected Astarion to be this "I am so sexual and my romance will mostly be sex, also I will betray you the first chance I get." and it couldn't be further from the truth. Astarion is extremely loyal, and yes he has that air of flambouncy to him, will often make japes and say evil things but most of the time, it is just a facade. It's his shield in a way, he has been treated with utter cruelty for two hundred years of his life and now that he finally has some control over himself, he doesn't wish to be hurt again.

I don't think Astarion is ever completely evil, even in the beginning. He just wants to have fun and enjoy life after so many years of slavery. He likes it when you are snarky, say mean shit to people for fun but, he doesn't like to see innocents get hurt, and he doesn't support fighting for people who don't fight for themselves. Yes, he will support some of your evil decisions but they will lead to a bad ending, for you and your characters. It'll make Astarion wallow more in his greed and he'll lose the little humanity he has left. He doesn't really have a clear sense of direction in the beginning of the game as he's just found freedom and obviously wants to live life to the fullest, being evil comes naturally to him, it's instinct as its what he's been doing for two centuries.

This is my assumption since we don't know his actual age but since he's an elf who was well-respected in society, had a pretty prestigious job and was rich enough to be corrupt. I'd assume he was at least 70-100 years old before he was turned into a spawn. (EDIT - in a recent post by @deluxetrashqueen I saw the translation of the dates of birth and death on his tombstone:

"Astarion Ancunin

229-268 DR" to which he adds, "458DR - "

which shows that he was only 39 at the time of his death, which explains his emotional immaturity for an elf.) My point being, I believe he has been a spawn for longer than he's ever been a regular person. He has spent the longer part of his life doing evil things for an evil man, that was what his life was on a daily basis with Cazador. And his former work experience probably helped, he likely learnt pretty quick how much he took for granted as a living person and the harshness of his master, peers and people he seduced made him harsh and unforgiving in return.

Once you start getting close to him, you start to learn that he is only mean to people because of how life has treated him. In his romance, he says "no one ever looked out for me, no one ever said a kind word to me. You're the only one, no one is like that." Astarion starts to see, because of you that there is kindness in the world, and he finds kindness in you. Especially after his quest, as much as he'd hate to admit it, he also sees friends in your other companions as they do in him. By the end of Act 2, he starts to get more soft towards you and the decisions you make, often even disapproving of evil decisions. People often tend to forget that a lot of Astarion's evil personality is a front, it is not who he truly is.

These points will be better explained individually so I will talk about some themes.

Power: power plays a big part in his entire storyline. In the beginning, he wants to harness the powers of the tadpole to become powerful and at first, you think that it's simply because he's an evil character and he wants power for the sake of having it. Then later, he wishes to take over the power of the ascendant but mostly only to spite Cazador and take something important from him, not fully realising the true power of the rite.

As he slowly starts opening up to you, he tells you "the mind flayers tore me from that place" and you realise that its the tadpole that let's him walk in the sun, do things a vampire or spawn would never be able to, you learn that he hates being a vampire because he can't even remember what he looks like. He seeks power outside because he has had no power over himself for about two centuries, he thinks that having this power will fulfill his needs but it won't, we know it won't because in truth he only needs to reclaim his autonomy, physical and mental. Of course Astarion would never truly admit to this for a long while, even when he's romanced. I personally really love his good romance arc where he doesn't have sex with you, not because he dislikes you or doesn't want you but because, as he says "any kind of intimacy was something I performed to lure people back for him. While I know things between us are different... being with someone still feels tainted. It brings up all those feelings of disgust and loathing." He has spent 200 years or so bowing to Cazador's whims, done things to people he didn't want to do and I assume since it's heavily hinted at, were very sexual in nature. In a relationship, he simply wants to be seen as a person and I think that's really sad because that's how low the bar is for him.

In the ending of his quest, you can persuade him and tell him that going forth with the ritual won't set him free even if he thinks it will and I agree. If he's a slave to Cazador now, later he'd be a slave to power and greed. Just look at Cazador, despite being one of the most powerful beings in existence, he still wanted more power. That kind of greed and hunger never ends and Astarion would lose himself and who he has become while he was with us. Yes, it makes him walk in the sun again and do things a regular vampire can't but at what cost? 7,000 lives and his humanity. He would never be able to enjoy this "freedom" because he'll only strive to seek more power. In his ascendant ending, he becomes everything he's ever hated about Cazador, the cycle repeats itself, from Vellioth to Cazador and from Cazador to Astarion. And it will never end. Astarion even refuses to turn you into a vampire and wishes to keep you only as a spawn. With an insight check, you can learn that he thinks you're degrading yourself and he doesn't care. He now sees you as something to own, something to possess, not love. All his good qualities, wants and needs get twisted. Astarion truly only needs to feel like a person again but he doesn't fully realise this until you show it to him, through good deeds and actions, through simple acts of kindness. As he says in his "good" ending "I've been dead in the ground enough. It's time to try living again. With all that life has to offer."

Safety: Astarion wants to feel safe. He is so scared of being found by Cazador, he knows he's looking for him and the only thing giving him some form of safety from Cazador is the tadpole so of course he wants to harness its powers that is until he finds out it'll turn him into another kind of monster, a mind flayer. He doesn't wish to lose himself and his freedom again hence is vehemently against taking on the tadpole's powers but he doesn't stop you because that is of course, your decision to make. He says "if such power would please you, darling, I won't stop you. But do be careful, I want you to remain you." Now the only thing left that can properly give him his freedom is Cazador's death and he wants to kill him himself which I think is perfectly acceptable, Cazador deserves to die and if it is by Astarion's hands, all the better. But, in his romance, he makes it clear that he's doing it for safety, and he tells himself that he wants to take the power of the rite for safety as well because in truth, he is terrified of being powerless again. He does want revenge yes, but he also wants to keep you and himself safe from Cazador, even in the dungeon, if you run an insight check, the narrator tells you that he is losing his mind because of the power that's on offer and the smell of blood in the air. It's almost as if to say "he's losing his mind, please stop him before he forgets who he is." Astarion NEEDS your guidance*, eventually he even thanks you for 'saving him from himself.' In his good ending, he sees that in taking the power, he would be no better than Cazador and would become everything he's ever hated about him, and inflict on others what his former master inflicted on him, starting with you. His ascendant ending is honestly a very sad ending for his character, all that growth, change and development you bring to him throughout your journey just gone down the drain as he becomes an unfeeling, evil, narcissistic arsehole who only craves for more power. In his good ending, he will be safe, with you and with the friends he has made along the way. He is proud of himself and so is everyone else, it offers him a kind of friendship that's afforded to very few in the D&D world, especially a vampire/spawn whose very existence is hated. It is a bond based on trust, loyalty and to a degree, even love instead of fear like in the ascendant ending.

Abandonment and Fear: Astarion is driven by fear but he also knows facing Cazador is inevitable and something he needs to face rather than avoid. Even if he isn't outright seeking it (but he does seek it) I think he is braver than he likes to think and he definitely has some anti-hero traits. He likes the tadpole because it helped him get away from Cazador's authority and he enjoys bending others to his will since it makes him feel more powerful compared to how he's felt the past two centuries. But if you choose to not do the same, he doesn't really care. He doesn't except it of you nor is he disappointed (since he neither approves or disapproves. He only disapproves helping people who didn't ask or didn't want to be helped) he only gives a snarky comment or two about what he would've done instead and follows you anyway. He realises you're a good person. If you indulge too much however, I would argue that he agrees simply because he doesn't want you to turn against him. Perhaps he believes that you can turn on him and kill him as easily as you killed the tieflings or other innocents. He probably thinks it's easier to turn a good person evil than an evil person, good (tbh he wouldn't be entirely wrong.) And making bad choices does negatively affect his character of course but I just thought I'd put that out there as I think it's very likely for him to do so. He is definitely extremely paranoid, he hardly ever says how he truly feels out loud but when you break up with him (it's so heartbreaking omg) he says "I was beginning to think someone truly wanted me. I shouldn't have deluded myself." and "From the start, I was rather counting the hours until it was going to end. Midnight chimes, eh?" As heartbreaking as it is, the latter line shows how terrified he was of being abandoned or only be used for his body, he kept obessesively worrying that Tav would leave him after he bore his heart out to them. There's another bit of dialogue in Act 1 where he is trying his lines with you to get you to sleep with him a second time and you can say no which he is fine with but if you outright reject him there, meaning "I never want to see you like that again" he gets extremely sad: "Well, excuse me while I die of a broken heart. [slight chuckle] In all honesty, it's a shame. That time was special to me. I've gotten on my back 10,000 times or more and forgotten half of them. But you, I'll remember. [long pause] Have a fine evening... dear." Mind you, this is after you've only slept with him once. His dialogue makes it seem like he was already catching feelings for you, and not realising that himself until this happens. Seeing this made me realise that you're the first person he's slept with of his own volition, even if it was to seduce you. For the longest time, I think Astarion doesn't even want to believe you'll like him as something more than someone to sleep with, he hopes you might as his rejection line says so but astarion is nothing if not careful and well, paranoid.

That's why he's so shocked when you choose to not let him bite Araj at Moonrise even if it gave you something powerful in return. He sees that you chose his comfort over a genuinely useful commodity. Biting people or using his vampire, well, anything makes him extremely uncomfortable since it reminds him of things he needed to do for Cazador. If he bites her, it makes him feel like being a slave again, but bending to your will and wishes instead of his former master's. He realises he doesn't know how to say no. Which is another thing he says if you wish to pursue only a sexual relationship with him. He feels played.

Freedom: this is probably the main theme to his character arc. He wants to be free, not only from his master but also free to make right decisions and make decisions for himself, something he hasn't been able to do for years. This is why respecting his decision to not sleep with you is important to him, he doesn't feel comfortable being physically close to someone in a sexual way as it makes him doubt the person's true intentions and feelings and of course, makes him feel loathsome and disgusted with himself. He needs that time where you just connect as people to really see that you are in fact genuine and he wouldn't be hurt if he trusted you or gave you his heart. Towards the end of the game, he is still quite ruthless, but mostly only towards people who do wrong and are criminals. Astarion has a very strong set of ideals, he believes that people who do wrong deserve to die no matter the crime. I don't think this is entirely true, every crime deserves a different punishment but most criminals, those who do severe wrong and still get away with it, do deserve to die but this is just my opinion of course. He is ruthless towards bad people because that's how people have been to him, at least Cazador and I wouldn't be surprised if he was treated badly during his sexual encounters with strangers while working for him.

Why I think the Ascendant ending is a tragic ending for Astarion's character and for you.

I won't lie, there are some aspects of ascended Astarion that are pretty hot and I'm a sucker for (pun absolutely intended) powerful, gothic vampires but this ending comes at the cost of way too much. One simply being: Astarion isn't Astarion anymore. All his snarkiness, playful nature and strange innocence is gone. In his ascendant ending, that is, when he takes the power of the Rite of Ascension for himself by carving the same rune on Cazador's back that's on his own, Astarion loses himself. In D&D lore, full vampires are unfeeling, ruthless and have all their good traits twisted into something more malignant and evil. If Astarion loved you, that love turns into possession, if he cared for you, it turns into obsession. He doesn't truly care anymore... as a vampire, he is manipulating you and telling you things you want to hear instead of what he's actually feeling. He never truly got that moment of catharsis by killing Cazador as he does in his spawn ending. That simple bliss of killing the man that enslaved him and worse all these years; he never gets to experience that because he ends up using Cazador for the same power Cazador killed Vellioth for in the past, albeit worse. It's a never-ending cycle. And if he turns you into his spawn, you will go through the same fate Astarion went through and probably turn on him the same way he turned on Cazador. He has absolutely no sympathy for you or for anyone that is not him, in fact he feels almost disgusted by you because he thinks you're degrading yourself in front of him. There is a conversation between him and if you refuse to become his spawn, and I think it sums up his character perfectly as a vampire, it goes like this:

(choosing different options will have different dialogues but they more or less lead to him saying the same thing.)

ASTARION: Just so you know, I have everything I've ever wanted. Everything lies ahead. I can see my path to a waking dream. From the Crimson Palace, I will govern day and night. Create a city of spawn who bow before me, cast a fog over the world for my children.

TAV: But the Palace halls will be lonely.

ASTARION: You'll be lonelier than I. Very soon I will discover how to call my legions of wolves, become a sea of mist, run wrongside-up on roofs. [laughs] Everything vampires do best.

You could have, too. [sniggers] What a waste.

TAV: You don't really have anything at all.

ASTARION: I can take anything I want. I should've made you a spawn just to teach you that.

And there we have it, that last bit of dialogue shows how Astarion is now everything he hated about his own master. He is Cazador's literal and spiritual successor, he thinks you need to be punished for rejecting him. He doesn't feel for you anymore, at least not in a human way. He has become someone else entirely, for the worst. His drive for taking the power of the rite was to be able to walk in the sun again but as a full vampire, he wants to "dominate it (the world) until the sun melts and give ourselves over to the night."

Astarion NEEDS change, he needs to see that the world can be a kinder place than the one he's lived in this whole time. Just a bit of care and love with him goes a long way. In his spawn ending, he comes to realise that you gave him his life back even if it was as a spawn because that is true freedom. He is free from his master, and greed & power which was in the disguise of safety. He may never be able to walk in the sun, but he is free to make his own decisions that are driven by his choices. One of them being; wanting and loving you, living a full life with you, whatever that may entail.

If you went into the game thinking that Astarion will betray you no matter what then giving him the ascendant ending brings your fears to life. Astarion doesn't learn anything, by making him a full vampire, you basically tell him that he can only be powerful and worth something if he has super vampire powers, and in turn, you lose everything too. Astarion may have gained unparralled strength but now he has no need of you, you gave him everything he wanted and nothing he needed so now he can do whatever he wants with you because you are lesser than him, literally, he is much stronger than you are and his power will only grow as he discovers more of it. He tries to manipulate you into turning you into a spawn. A dialogue being:

TAV: After everything you went through with Cazador, you're going to make me a spawn?

ASTARION: Oh that was completely different, I'd never hurt you. I love you. That's what you've been waiting to hear, isn't it? That's what you want?

Which just shows you how he's only saying "I love you" because that's what you want to hear, so you agree to becoming his spawn. He doesn't mean it, it doesn't really have any feeling behind it whatsoever. And if he turns you into a spawn, you have basically lost everything. Because he is obsessive over you, he'll never let you go and since now he is properly evil, he likely won't turn you into a vampire either, even if he says he will.

This is just my take on the ending though, I think we can all agree the ascendant ending is the evil ending for his character, even if it is an ending you prefer. I'm not trying to hate on anyone who does like this ending, only stating that I think it is meant to be evil and I personally don't like it.

CONCLUSION

Once you get to truly know Astarion, he's a pretty decent guy. I can't speak much for people who didn't romance him, I'm not entirely sure how his non-romance route plays out. The good conclusion of his quest is so wholesome, where he says he feels "truly, honestly free" and tells you "you saved me from myself. This is a gift, you know, thank you. I won't forget it." getting full circle to the first time you let him bite you (the only time in my case.) It shows so much character development and pure joy in the way he thanks you (it doesn't need to be said but props to Neil Newbon for bringing the character to life.) He will always be a spawn and yet, he feels like "anything and everything is possible" because of you and the choices you made with him, you believed in him when he didn't believe in himself, you showed him that he is enough just the way he is and he doesn't need to become a full vampire to be strong and powerful. Astarion comes out of his finale, a much more positive person, who actually cares even if he won't show it and the best part is, he always keeps that tiny streak of evil and mischief within him. He hasn't lost sight of himself, he's just less spiteful now and feels free to actually enjoy life rather than constantly being scared of what might happen to him. He finds trust and happiness in you and it makes him happy that you find the same within him. You are his home and he hopes he is yours.

I understand that my analysis may not be perfect and my interpretation of the character may be different from someone else's but that's fine, he is a video game character that can be played so many ways and people can go around it however they like, interpret his character however they wish. This is just what I think.

NOTES

'Astarion needs your guidance.' - no, this is not gaslight-y. Astarion is a deeply troubled character and clearly finds it hard to differentiate between right and wrong. He often asks for your input and what you think by Act 2 which isn't a bad thing, he's asking for help and I think that shows how far he's come. In the final scene of his quest, he is overcome by the promise of power and the safety it would've provided which would've consumed him as it did Cazador, Astarion admits to this himself too later on once he can think clearly and is in a more positive mindset. There is nothing wrong with guiding your partner towards something that will eventually be better for their growth as a person in the long run.

[lycandrophile]

sorry about the out of nowhere ask but i thought id note something minor ive seen around: a lot of the time (especially on reddit) theres a lot of positivity for specifically trans women, and very little for trans men. and if a trans man/transmasc person tries to comment on that they get ridiculed for it. but then if someone posts transmasc positivity at all, people in the comments of that post will talk about how there "isnt enough positivity for trans women" despite the fact that most of the positivity posted is for trans women. i dont know, just something weird (it could also just be because reddit is kinda really different, environment-wise, but considering theres been similar things pretty much. everywhere else. yeah)

i do think a lot of this has to do with demographics – from what i've seen, reddit tends to have more trans women than trans men, so it doesn't surprise me to see more posts that are geared toward trans women there.

tl;dr because this got super long: people are right to say that there isn't enough positivity for trans women, but there also isn't enough for trans men. the fact that so many of us are ridiculed for trying to put more out there is the real problem.

at the end of the day, there really isn't enough positivity for any trans people because most of the world either hates us or wants to forget we exist. we have our little pockets of community where we support each other and lift each other up, but until the rest of society gets on board, it'll never be enough. so even in spaces where there's more positivity for trans women than for trans men, they're absolutely right to say there isn't enough positivity for trans women! and that's why i don't inherently have a problem with spaces like that – trans joy and positivity is always a good thing and always needed, and spreading that for part of the community doesn't take away from the rest of the community, it just means there's some of us are bit closer to getting the kind of love and support they deserve than they were before, and that's a good thing! you can't make everything for everyone, but if we all work at lifting each other up, eventually it'll all balance out and we'll all be better off for it. so if you happen to find a space that's for all trans people but tends to be more geared toward trans women when it comes to positivity, instead of getting caught up in how much positivity for trans women is already there, i think the best thing to do is to add positivity for trans men! we're the ones who lift each other up, so if we see a gap in the support, we're the ones with the power to step in and fill that gap.

and i can honestly understand why trans women in those spaces might get defensive or upset if someone points out the amount of positivity for trans women as if it's a bad thing, even if what that person is actually trying to say is just that they wish there was more for trans men too. i can't really blame anyone for that defensiveness because i feel the exact same way when people point out the amount of positivity for trans men&mascs here as if it's a bad thing, even though i know a lot of them are really just expressing in an imperfect way that they wish there was more for other trans people as well. wanting to defend those sources of joy in a world that offers us so few of them is only natural.

now, all of that being said, what i absolutely DO have a problem with is when that defensiveness gets to the point of attacking trans men's efforts to add positivity for ourselves as well. it perpetuates these false ideas that 1) there's only a finite amount of trans joy that can be expressed and we have to fight over it, and 2) trans men are currently hoarding that finite resource and are obligated to give it up entirely so that other trans people have a chance at getting it. obviously, both of those statements are deeply untrue – one part of the community getting support doesn't take anything away from other trans people because we should all be aiming for more support and positivity, not just redistributing the inadequate amount we currently have to more "worthy" subjects, and it's impossible to quantify how much support each part of the community gets because that's so dependent on the individual spaces you're looking at as well as what you're counting as support. and as much as i can understand feeling protective of our spaces, when that protectiveness leads us to turn on each other and push each other out of spaces that were supposed to be for all of us, that's taking it way too far.

and i also do think there's an attitude in a lot of trans spaces (and in more general queer/feminist/leftist/activist spaces) that trans men are a more acceptable target for that kind of ridicule because we're men and people in those spaces tend to already be very settled into this idea that there's never a bad time to tell men to sit down and shut up, even when the men in question are marginalized and trying to fight against their own oppression. if someone says "ugh there's too much positivity for trans women here," that's going to be met with a lot of people (rightfully) saying "hey, what the hell, man, that's super transmisogynistic." but if the same is said about trans men, those same people have no problem saying "i know, right? men love taking everything for themselves, it's the worst."

and that kind of attitude even extends to trans men simply creating positivity in spaces that don't have as much of it, even if they don't comment at all on the other kinds of positivity that might exist in that space. especially if we dare to add specific mentions of trans men onto an existing positivity post (which isn't actually a bad thing at all! adding more good to a good post doesn't take anything away from the original good!), we're met with a chorus of "wow, why do men always have to make everything about themselves, can't women have anything?" it's a perspective that groups us in with cis men as this privileged horde that talks over everyone else and seeks to dominate every space it enters, completely ignoring the fact that the image of loud domineering men they're invoking is based on cis(het white abled) men who've spent their whole lives being told they're the most important people in every room, which is very different from trans men who were brought up being taught to make ourselves small and be of service to more important people. they forget (or simply choose to ignore) that when we're loud about our needs and experiences and even our joy, it's not because taking up space was a practice passed down to us by our manhood, it's because we had to learn to be loud when we realized that staying quiet meant making it easier for the people who hate us to dispose of us without the rest of the world even noticing our absence.

all of that to say, i absolutely do think you've hit on a real issue here, i just don't think that issue actually has to do with the prevalence of positivity for trans women. it's a lot less about who gets more or less support in any given space, and a lot more about how those spaces react when the less represented groups start making their presence known. and yeah, a lot of trans spaces have some pretty damn awful reactions to trans men who literally just want to lift each other up and feel supported by our community in return.

[waitmyturtles]

Last Twilight, episode 12: final reflections

Wow. It took me all of this past weekend to process this finale, notwithstanding the usual life craziness that has dogged me lately.

Let me preface this whole thing by saying that I'm confused by what I watched. I'd say that, overall -- I actually quite liked this series, and I especially, absolutely ADORED JimmySea, Namtan, and Mark, and their acting. JimmySea kicked major ass, and I really hope they get another big and complicated show to chew on.

I also want to say that between episodes 11 and 12, I felt that I saw uncharacteristic editing clunkiness from Aof Noppharnach and his team that left a lot of necessary emotional and ethical processing on the cutting room floor. I think that's what's ultimately making me feel uneasy about the process of watching this, but -- funnily enough, I'm not nearly as "angry" about the ending as I was with other bad shows that fell apart in their last quarter recently. It was obvious that MhokDay were going to get together.

But I needed to walk a few more steps with them on their journey to that end.

Before I got my eyes on the finale, a few reactions on social media, from Tumblr to Twitter gave me the case of the jibbles. Namely: that the story of Last Twilight would have worked better if Day had stayed blind through the end.

I wasn't really understanding how that construction could work without walking through some sort of ethical minefield.

Now that I've seen the finale -- especially that infamous 4/4 segment -- I understand better what those arguments were saying.

Yet, I'm still dogged by a kind of ethical confusion here. And maybe that was one of the points of this finale, another one of Aof Noppharnach's perhaps now-famous-or-infamous emotionally inconclusive endings.

To me, there are two ethical potholes that this show stumbled on:

1) The ethics WITHIN the fictional piece itself for a character to not depict the process of considering the various fates he might face vis à vis a potentially reversible impairment, and

2) The ethics of a REAL audience ultimately wanting a different outcome for a fictional character to NOT have an impairment reversed.

TL;DR — I don’t think Last Twilight spent enough time having Day consider the permanence or impermanence of the various fates he faced, including permanent blindness. I don’t think the characters, and as such, the audience, spent enough time understanding that a corneal transplant was always going to be Day’s endgame.

Last Twilight was marketed as a show focused on disability, on a man going blind in a society that prioritizes the able-bodied, and how he would adjust to his disability, and of course (this being GMMTV), his falling in love. As fans, we were prepared to receive a whole show about a character with a disability, not as a side pairing, à la Heart and Li Ming in Moonlight Chicken.

It so happened that Day's visual impairment was corneal deterioration -- a condition that could lead to permanent blindness, and thus qualify him for a corneal transplant.

What I'm struggling with is the crux of the ethical dilemma that this show was ALWAYS going to have to deal with: that a corneal impairment of the kind that Day experienced, in the prime of his life, could very well be reversed with surgery, a surgery that has tremendous success rates.

As such -- as we got that clarification in drips throughout the series -- this show was actually not ONLY going to be about the newfound adjustment of a recently-impaired man to an ableist society. It was ALWAYS going to have this door of ANOTHER major change, the reversal of the impairment, just slightly cracked open. I'm not sure that I, as a viewer, was fully prepared for this, even as Night and Mae Mhon spoke about "eye donations" as givens in the middle of the series. I believe the show needed to be much louder, earlier, about the "hope" that Day could "go back" to "living a normal life," instead of framing the high majority of the show around his adjustments to his impairment.

As we went through Day's adjustment to life outside of his room, I believe we needed to hear, FROM DAY HIMSELF, that a corneal transplant was a conclusion that HE believed in, that HE wanted. A failure of this series was that we unfortunately only heard that from his family members, leaving us to only ASSUME that the conclusion of the reversal of his impairment was ALSO Day's intention.

For a story that was very much about an individual's developing agency and self-advocacy: I believe I needed to hear from Day himself that he was good and ready for the final surgery. I only assume that was the case, as I saw his own body and mind in the hospital. But I believe, for dramatic success, that I could have used a basic, "I'm ready," from him, to make segment 4/4 more complete and contextual, against the story of adjustment and resilience we had so far seen before then.

And what a story of adjustment and resilience we had gotten, as Day had established a full career for himself, without Mhok next to him, during one of the time jumps of episode 12.

For my sake, as I process what I watched this weekend, I want to come to grips with what I thought were the major themes of this show, and see if I can come to some sort of sensible conclusion about what happened here.

This show was focused on:

1) the romance between Day and Mhok, 2) Mhok's caretaking and companionship being the lever to help Day out of his room and back into the world from which he had retreated after the onset of his visual impairment, 3) Day slowly learning how to function again in a society that prioritizes the able-bodied vis à vis his visual impairment, 4) Day learning how to self-advocate for himself in the face of those who condescend to him and/or keep him trapped in compassion bias postures,

and more that I'm sure I'm missing, but those are the themes that resonated the most with me.

I think the general feeling on Tumblr is that, save for the romance, that themes 3 and 4 were contradicted out of existence in the face of the sudden flip to the surgery of segment 4/4.

I think not hearing from Day himself that he was ready and willing for the surgery was a lost moment. I don't believe Day was ever acting as if he would choose anything else OTHER than surgery throughout the series. BUT, AT THE SAME TIME: what we had watched prior to 4/4 was his story of adjustment.

My biggest ethical concern here, vis à vis the audience reactions that I've read, is that NO ONE -- in fiction or in real life -- owes me a story of heroism. If there is an individual who has been impaired since birth, or is dealing with a degenerative condition later in their life, and has the opportunity to address or reverse the condition, who am I to say that that individual SHOULD NOT address their condition?

For me, this is huge. I believe this is a huge ethical dilemma that Last Twilight ultimately does not face. I wish this series had been much more centered, earlier on, about the utter REALITY that Day could have his condition reversed by surgery, in words he'd say himself, rather than assumptions made for him, on behalf of his family, who.... I presume were established to be some sort of legal conservators for him, as Mhon continued to be the one to receive eye donation text messages.

(I concede that I don't know if this is a more common set-up for disabled individuals in Thailand, as I would assume in the States, that Day himself would have been the one to receive that message directly.)

For this show to have seemed emotionally and artistically complete: I needed to hear from Day himself that surgery was an endgame that he was banking his hopes on. I also needed to understand, much more statistically clearly vis à vis the show, of the absolute risks that Day faced towards having permanent blindness for the rest of his life. Because the show ALSO needed to focus on the establishment of the romance between Mhok and Day, we missed out on the show taking time to explain to us, the viewers, of the absolute risks that Day faced in any of these scenarios -- and thus, we would have had MUCH more context into the nuances of the resilience that Day needed to establish for himself as he re-adjusted to society, with his numerous fates lying before him.

I'm going to borrow the words of @hallowpen in their final review here, to say that this show at the end needed much more "breathing room." I think @hallowpen is so right in saying it like this, because these two factors that I just laid out, geez -- the first 7/8ths of the series being about Day's social adjustment against the utter suddenness of the successful surgery and his sudden jump back to what's been translated as his "normal life" -- just clash so tonally. (I do wonder if we're getting as nuanced a translation on "normal" as we could be.)

I think this is about the most confused final review of a show that I've written. There is an ethical heaviness to all of this that's weighing on me, that I think I still need time to comb through.

I also feel that I simply do not know enough, by way of my lack of cultural competency into how Thai society approaches issues of public and private health, if Day’s unseen choice to get the surgery would have been a given among majority Thai audiences, AND that majority Thai audiences would not have asked for the kind of internal debates that I think the show could have used.

I feel thrilled that Day can see Poomjai/Mee, after making that wish in episode 11.

But I think, if this show was about a journey for someone to learn how to successfully advocate for his own agency -- that, at the very end, I needed to see that agency exercised, by him, to get to the part of the reversal of the impairment that I assumed he wanted.

Again: Day doesn't owe me his story of heroism. If fiction doesn't want to give me that, from a character with a recent impairment, I don't have the right to ask for it.

But the missing bits of artistry to get me, the viewer, to only an assumption, has led me to surprising ethical places, that will leave me wondering about what happened in this series for a long time.

[legallyannie]

Falsettos: A Short Analysis

“Everything will be alright” - A Day In Falsettoland

Homosexuals, women with children, short insomniacs and a teeny tiny band. Falsettos is a story about Jewish Americans, dysfunctional families and nervous wrecks; but its unusual subject matter does not stop the show from being a heartfelt tale focused on a father and his son. Despite the original trilogy being released between 1979 and 1991, I will be mainly referencing the 2016 Broadway Revival which compiled the shows ‘March of the Falsettos’ and ‘Falsettoland’ into a fresh adaptation, leaving the show’s legacy not as a time capsule of the 80s but as a relevant commentary on the importance of family and connection through hardship. The two shows span only three years – from 1979 to 1981 – but they are as different as light and dark, as comedy and tragedy.

Act One is unruly and fabulously defective, with the first two numbers introducing us to the main characters and their unfortunate situation. Marvin, our main character, is a self-absorbed neurotic with good intentions at heart: he is a product of his society, and while he craves for the ease of a straight, nuclear, and tight knit family, he cannot give his wife and child this reality. Marvin spends all of Act One desperately trying to prove his masculinity, placing himself in the role of the provider, and yet he ignores his wife who is more than happy to fulfill the traditional role of a stay-at-home mother. Unceremoniously we meet Whizzer, the man that Marvin has brought into his home to live with and expects him to act in the role of a housewife. Naturally, Whizzer refuses to act as such a stereotype, resulting in a calamitous kind of love affair shown in the song “The Thrill of First Love,” where they describe that “Of all the lesser passions, we like fighting most.” Amid this, Marvin’s ex-wife Trina and son Jason are caught in the crossfire. Trina is “breaking down” and Jason struggles to grapple with his father’s homosexuality. Mendel, Marvin’s long-time psychiatrist, hates his job and longs for the love which he eventually finds in Marvin’s ex-wife Trina. Thus, we meet the main cast of Falsettos, and the first act ends as Marvin sings to Jason the song “Father to Son,” which incidentally is the first step in Marvin’s life to becoming a better man.

In between came the AIDS crisis which devastated the gay community. As Frank Rich of the New York Times said, Falsettos “gains exponentially in power by being seen in only 15 minutes instead of nine years” apart. Falsettos shows the grief caused by the crisis in just over an hour, where the tonal shift is swift and uncomfortable. The AIDS epidemic, caused by HIV – Human Immunodeficiency Virus - found its way to the United States between the 1970s and 1980s. From 1981 to 1990, 100,777 deaths were reported to the Center of Disease Control and Prevention. Act two of ‘Falsettos,’ previously known as the individual show ‘Falsetto land’ tackles this topic through the two so called unlikely lovers, Marvin and Whizzer.

Whilst AIDS is never explicitly mentioned in the show, William Finn expertly introduces the issue in the song “Something Bad Is Happening,” sung by lesbian radiologist character Dr. Charlotte, a representative of the help lesbian women gave during the epidemic. She sings, “Bachelors arrive sick and frightened, they leave weeks later unenlightened. We see a trend, but the trend has no name. Something bad is happening.” These concerning lyrics accompanied by the instrumental being in Bb major and G minor create an uneasy atmosphere, setting the tone for the last 35 woundingly emotional minutes of the show.

In short, Whizzer falls ill, and the remainder of the show takes on a somber tone as each individual character struggles with the harsh reality that life is not perfect. Even so, love and hope are found in various numbers following the bad news, emphasizing the importance of connection through adversity. The third to last number “Jason’s Bar Mitzvah” has Jason bring his family to Whizzer for his Bar Mitzvah, giving Whizzer the blessing of being there for his pseudo-son at an important time of his life after being a close friend and role model to Jason throughout the show. A beautifully gut-wrenching story, the play ends with a heartbreaking duet between Whizzer and Marvin, which is followed by Whizzer’s funeral.

The closing line is sung by Mendel; “This is where we take a stand. Welcome to Falsetto land.” Falsettos, whilst being a somewhat niche show, is a musical with perfected emotion and nuance. The show won Best Original Score and Best Book of a Musical at the 1992 Tony Awards, and the 2016 Revival was nominated for five awards including Best Revival of a Musical. Effortlessly, William Finn tackles the issues of gender roles, traditional masculinity, family values and the AIDS crisis all while living through it in the 80s and 90s, being incredibly ahead of his time alongside close friend James Lapine who was equally impressive. Falsettos, from the beginning, has always had something to say in relation to the world we live in, no matter the time period in which we watch it. It doesn’t get old, it doesn’t get stale, and it doesn't get boring; Falsettos is a musical masterpiece.

[amorous-apothipl]

i wont lie to ya, i think we're goin' too hard on the aros.

i am a culprit of this, don't get me wrong. i understand the rationale behind it. aplatonicism is heavily related and in proximity to aromanticism (and other aspec communities). it also is a great example of a culture who (most often) puts friendship above any other sort of relationship; one, too, that advocates for the normalization of friendship being an important part of anyone's life--regardless of whether they're in a romantic relationship or not.

i've noticed that we, as aplatonics, are pushing for the normalization of platonicism and friendship as optional. that, as well as pointing out how prevalent it is in our societies, sometimes causing stress or harm to an individual's wellbeing with us wanting to challenge how much it is brought upon people.

and i think we're toxic with how we approach the aromantic's ideas. we see them as doing bad unto us. i think it's because they're so concentrated and readily available, easy to point out as something aplatonics might be against or averse to.

aromantics are not our enemies. they are not trying to go against us. they are not trying to stamp us out.

they are just trying to exist in a world where romantic desire and relationships are the end-all be-all of *life*. an example: if you aren't married by the time your deathbed arrives, you're seen as pitiful, unfulfilled, wasted, among other things.

they're trying to find a place where they can explore their aromanticism and relationships and their feelings regarding that. for many, that's going to involve reevaluating how they were taught to think about friendship: as second to having a partner. that's not something we should take away from or denounce, for we are doing the same.

aplatonics are trying to find a place where we can explore our aplatonicism and relationships and our feelings regarding that. for many, that's going to involve reevaluating how we were taught to think about friendship: as something everyone wants, does have, and should have.

i think we should work to understand their ideas, how aromanticism and it's culture work within someone and their life, and how we can accept their viewpoints without tearing them down just because it doesn't explicitly disclaim that they're alloplatonic and aren't against aplatonicism.

our ideas play together. both romanticism and platonicism are major heads within the social world, both having their strangleholds over the population.

please keep this in mind going forward. be nuanced when talking about the aromantic's ideas. be nuanced when talking about the aplatonic's ideas. understand how we are both communities of which highlight the domination of the two forces and use that to your advantage.

TL;DR (Please still read though!)--------------------------------------

aros point out how romanticism works against us

apls point out how platonicism works against us

these ideas are both valid, and work together

apls rag on aros too much just because they're easy to point to as a perpetuation of platonormativity

aros's "platonormativity" is most often just a deconstruction of how they've been taught to see relationship, them getting more in tune with how they wanna do their shit (just like we are)

don't denounce aro ideas and lives on the basis of it not being congruent with your own ideals and how you may think it goes against apl ideas

critically assess aro ideas with an understanding that it might not be for you and you're allowed to interpret the work as you wish, perhaps even trying to understand it from your own apl perspective

Thanks for reading! Feel free to add you own ideas for or against any/all of my points; I feel this is important to how we go forth as a communities.

I come at this from the perspective of a romance ambivalent aromantic and platonic repulsed aplatonic.

[sicklyseraphnsuch]

Unpopular Theory

I don't think Miquella was ready for in-fighting.

There's no guarantee that two oppressed groups would Get Along. Maybe the omens won't like the tarnished who won't like the albinaurics.

My best support for this theory? Miquella actively or passively charms people to liking him. Governing is basically a group project on a massive scale and we all know how bad those turn out. Miquella loving them - fine. Them loving each other - um...

Likewise, I dont think Miquella could turn his charm off. So I dont know if hes ever faced a disagreement before. Thats um... Thats kinda an essential skill for governing, my guy. If the only way someone defuses a disagreement is not through compromise but through liking him so much, they cant disagree - and likewise, you cant stop them from liking you so much, that's not good! In fact, that's pretty bad!!

Also like Miquella famously hated the Undead so sorry zombies, no room for you in the eternal paradise, I guess? Would Miquella have let Fia live? What happens if the god of compassion hates you?

Miquella freely offers his love for them but like how tf are you supposed to convince someone to offer that same love to another? I think Miquella tried his best to teach by example... but it ended up with people vying more for Miquella's love than vying to love each other.

Miquella's charm works against him here. Because its hard to form a mutually beneficial community when there's very much someone who is the center of everyone's universe. And it's Miquella.

All for the love of you.

It's not the same as saying, "love each other as I love you" because that's a bad message if you want people to fight your wars. JSYK. if people were less fanatic about him, theyd ask for benefits, vacations, and sick leaves.

His followers already seem ready to gut anyone who hates Miquella on any level. That's a bad precedent. Anyone who has ever been in a fandom KNOWS that's a bad precedent.

Because that's what Miquella's following is - a giant fandom for him. And again, you know when people like the same thing, that doesnt mean they like each other.

Surprise! Governing and managing a diverse group of people is hard and messy and not always kind! Mistakes will be made! Because people will choose to be mean and petty and vain! But if the alternative is that they dont have a choice... Is that better?

I think Miquella desperately needed irl experience where he wasnt mind whammying someone. I think he needed to be disagreed with firmly once or twice. And he definitely shouldnt become a god where he could win all arguments ad infinatum.

I think Miquella in the base game is a Good Guy, but hes got a lot to learn if he wants to become a good leader. And the true tragedy here is by virtue of his divine heritage, he couldnt get that experience.

TL;Dr - dont buy your own hype, constructive criticism is in fact a necessary part of growing up, haters are a sign of a healthy society - if no one is arguing with u, something has gone wrong

[dcdreamblog]

We all know about how the HUAC trial of the 50s was, accentually, the end of the mystery men but something that is rarely talked about is the massacre of the 70s. where doctor Trapp killed over 35 superheroes and supervillains over 2 years, witch the most famous victims being the justice experience.

Care to talk about all of those fallen heroes?

Yes, well I must admit to my professional biases first. I know that one of my bad habits, the bad habits of my entire academic focus is that it makes it seem that there were no superheroes between the retirement of the JSA and the foundation of the JLA. It's obviously not true. If you're not from the United States you'd have good cause to be offended by the implication. But there's a reason. The first reason is that because my focus is on the Golden Age it's easier for me to present historical narratives from that angle to the layman, no offense. The second...is because of what happened to that forgotten middle generation.

The tragedy of the Justice Experience.

(Image of the Justice Experience created by famous cartoonist Bruce Timm. (OOC: Gwhitmore on DA). Perhaps for a never made cartoon along the lines of his famous MAU franchise)

They appeared in the early 70s, from the left to right: Acro-Bat, Bronze Wraith, Songbird, The Manx, Mr. Action and Major Flashback. They were a very low key organization but not by choice.

The media, and especially the police and the government were still deeply anti-vigilante by nature. The records of the Experience are heavily incomplete because anything they did was poorly reported and any criminals they caught were often fully credited to the police or the FBI no matter how much sense that made or how much everyone knew it was bullshit.

And that institutional disinterest probably killed them.

A villain by the name of Dr. Trap made it his personal mission to hunt down the heroes and villains of this era, as well as their friends and family. Due to legal pressure the heroes of this era had been unable to organize in the vein of the heroes of previous and following periods and the law enforcement of the time refused to take the threat of a supervillain seriously. Treating Dr. Trap as LESS dangerous than a normal killer due to his "eccentricities"

Nearly two dozen villains of the era were killed inside their own jail cells when prison staff refused to upgrade security or even increase nightly patrols.

The only survivor of the Experience was the Bronze Wraith who would later be revealed as an alternative alias of J'onn J'onzz, the Martian Manhunter. The raid that eventually captured Trap was the only case between their dis-and-reappearance that prompted the public return of the Justice Society who were able to track down and capture Trap within HOURS using their wider organizational net and remaining government contacts, further placing a spotlight on the culpability of authorities in the massacre.

35 people lost their lives in less than 2 years, the powers that be have still yet to acknowledge the role of police disinterest in exacerbating the crime and allowing Trap free reign despite standing condemnations from both the Justice Society and the Justice League. To this day the Martian Manhunter holds a private vigil alongside those the Experience left behind, taking place not on the anniversary of their deaths but of their foundation, to further bring light to their deeds.

The Manhunter has very rarely spoken on his time with the Experience in public saying "their memories are a private matter". His is also quoted as saying "I made a vow to myself that no longer would I allow my allies to suffer in silence. I unveiled my alien visage to the world, I encouraged my teammates to operate openly and without fear. And forever more I have deeply mistrusted those who hold power in human governance."

Justice Experience Remembrance Day is July 6th.

[marisol-000]

The Sandbox Scientists

It's finally here! My children au of The Glass Scientists!

I don't have too big plans for this fic, and really only have a few chapters in mind but I wanted to make it so I did! Enjoy!

(a03)

It was finally done.

What he had set out to do all that time ago; split man down the middle, and divide himself into good and evil. Finally, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde will be free, separate from each other and free to walk unbound by the other's wants and desires.

He had taken his time, content to study their new state of sharing a mind and body, while still being separate. After all, no result is a bad one when it comes to science. But it was no longer enough for them to turn into one another, now they would be fully separate, independent and whole once more.

Finally, all the lies would come to an end. The sleepless nights, the time constraints, all the half-truths and outright lies told to strangers, acquaintances, and friends alike.

No one would ever know the full truth, of course, but soon it would be in the past. Never to be thought about as more than a passing thought.

Dr. Jekyll will stay and run the society the way he meant to, unburdened by madness and hubris, free of his sinful longing for his dear friend, Lanyon. Raising the Arcane Society to new heights.

Hyde will probably get in a bar fight in the first 20 minutes.

Jekyll took a moment to compose himself, slowly releasing his breath.

“Everythings ready.”

“Then what are we waiting for? Let's get this show on the road!!”

Hyde was just as impatient as he was. They had both been waiting for this day for far too long.

Well, no sense in delaying.

Jekyll took a glance around to double check everything. The office doors were locked, no one needed him for their projects, and a set of Edward's clothes were laid out on a chair next to him.

With a deep breath he prepared himself. The potion he drank to release Hyde, usually a luminescent green, was now a sickly yellowish-brown. Made to split them for real this time.

He chugged the potion in one go and set it down before the painful convulsions dragged him to the floor in agony.

He felt… bad. That was the only way to describe it. Muddled memories of pain surfaced blearily as he slipped in and out of consciousness. 

Had he tripped? Or scraped his knee? The pain felt like it was everywhere, or did it? It was fading now like a dream.

That's what this was, a bad dream. Nothing more.

In the morning he’ll wake up and ask Momma to kiss him better, then everything will be alright…

A small boy by the name of Henry Jekyll wakes up in a room he has never seen before.

It had been odd and scary to wake up in a place he didn't know, wearing clothes that were wayyy too big for him.

But at least he wasn't alone.

He was here with another kid, he didn't have any clothes at all, but they found some for him.

Henry was trying to roll the pants all the way up so he could stand properly, while the other kid seemed fine with a white shirt and underpants.

Once they were dressed as best they could (‘You're never fully dressed without a smile!’ his momma said, but he didn't feel much like smiling right now, and it wouldn't make him fully dressed anyway) the two decided to look around the room.

Henry pulled back a thick red curtain to look outside. He was immediately blinded by the bright sunlight and let it fall shut, coughing from the unsettled dust.

The room they were in was very nice. It had lots of books and cool looking bottles. And there was lots of red, Henry’s favorite color! He quite liked the room, though, he wished he knew why he was in it.

The kid he was with was looked around too, crawling under the desk for clues, then trying to read the papers on top of it. Wobbling on an upturned chair.

“Why do you look like me?” the kid asked suddenly.

Henry looked up at him, confused.

“I don't. Why would I look like you?”

“You do! We both have brown hair, and red eyes!” he said, hopping down. “But you're taller than me.”

Now he was even more confused.

“But…you don't have brown hair. You have yellow hair, and green eyes.”

He pointed at the boy, as though that would help.

Now the boy looked confused.

“No I don't. My eyes are red, like a vampire!”

Henry shook his head, “No they're not! They're green, haven't you ever looked in a mirror?”

“Yes! I know what I look like! And I look like you!” the boy huffed, starting to get frustrated.

“Well I’ll show you then!” Henry looked around for a mirror they could use. Fortunately there was a very large one by the desk, a big oval with gold around it.

“Here, you can look at your reflection in this.” he said confidently.

The boy sniffed and pranced straight to the mirror. There, was a perfect reflection of the boy.

Messy blond hair, a too big shirt, and bright green eyes, brighter than any leaves or book covers Henry had ever seen.

The boy stood frozen. It seemed like he had, in fact, never looked in a mirror before.

Or maybe all the ones he looked at were wrong. Could mirrors be wrong? 

He supposed lots of things could break oddly, like the book he’d left outside one time when it rained. And when he went back for it the words were all wonky.

“See?” He said, satisfied. “I’m right, you don’t look like me.”

The boy was quiet. 

Slowly, he touched his face and hair, as if to make sure it was real.

Tangling one hand in his locks.

As Henry waited for a response, the boy started breathing faster, tightening the hand in his hair.

“Hello? Are you okay?” 

The other Henry looked a little scared now, and like he was gonna cry.

“But, I’m Henry…”

The brunette shook his head, “No, I’m Henry.”

He eyed the boy, he seemed really sad, why would he think he was Henry? There was only one Henry right? Maybe not.

“Maybe you just think you're me, or you're a clone or something.”

“That's weird…why would I think I'm you? If I'm not Henry who am I?” tears began to well up in the boys eyes.

He felt bad for him. He had always been Henry, he couldn't imagine what it would be like to not be Henry anymore.

He reached out and patted the boy on the shoulder.

“There there, maybe…we could both be Henry, and you'll just look different.”

He didn’t look very happy with that, but seemed relieved that he wouldn’t have to stop being Henry all of the sudden.

The two were quiet for a little bit. Other Henry making a thinking face, and Henry Henry tapping his toes on the floor.

“Okay��but why would there be two Henry's?” the other asked.

Henry shrugged. He didn't really think it was a big deal that there were two of him now, to be honest.

“Maybe I'm a fey child! From Momma's storybooks! She said the fairies would bring a baby and try to trick the parents.” the now-blonde said excitedly, “What if I have magic?”

It *would* be cool if this other Henry had magical powers. What kind of powers do fey have? Probably not shapeshifting since they didn't look the same.

“Maybe, but you don't look like me, you think you’re me. That sounds like the opposite of a fey child.”

“Oh yeah? Well maybe *you're* the fey since you look like me but aren’t.” other Henry snarked.

“What?! But I am me!” he shot back.

“No, I am!”

“No, I am!”

“No, I am!”

BANG

BANG 

BANG

BANG

The boys jumped, spinning towards the door.

A voice came from the other side, loud so as to be heard.

“Henry! Come get the door, I have an argument to win!”

Another voice, a woman.

“No you do not because I am right. Jekyll will be on my side, you'll see.”

A huff, then the banging returned.

“HENRY! The door!”

The two boys looked at each other, wide eyed.

Someone knew they were in there. What if they weren't supposed to be in there? Would they get in trouble? Surely they wouldn't get in trouble if they didn't remember what happened right?

“Doctor Jay are you okay? Can you hear us?”

There was muttering beyond the door.

“Are you sure he’s in there? What if he popped out for lunch?”

“Lavender said he came this way, and besides, when was the last time you saw that man eat anything without being forced to?”

“True. Alright then, he’s either dropped dead, or is so deep into his paperwork that he has temporarily lost the ability to hear sounds.”

…

BANG

BANG

BANG

BANG

BANG

“HENRY UNLOCK THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!!”

“Stop yelling dammit! You're going to make him not want to open up at this rate.”

“Well what do you suggest we do? Sit here in silence like lost puppies on someone's doorste- Oh!”

Henry reached out his stubby fingers, managing to turn the lock on the door with a small *click*; before hopping back to huddle with Other Henry. The two facing the door silently.

For a moment no one did anything, until one of the strangers took it upon themselves to actually open the unlocked door.

“Well, it’s about time! I know you want to waste the rest of your life on paperwork darling, but some of us aren't getting… any… younger…”

Both pairs stood there, staring at each other. Red and green eyes meeting green and brown.

The boys huddled together, eyeing the adults standing in the doorway.

The man they heard was tall, with a big nose and freckles. They thought he had really pretty eyes, like chocolate.

The woman had green eyes, though not as bright as Other Henry’s, and curly dark hair. She wore a maids dress, like the drawing of Cinderella in their storybook.

Both of them looked shocked, like they hadn't expected Henry to be in there even though they were calling for him.

“HENRY” “EDWARD”

In an instant the two reached out and grabbed their respective babies. 

“Ohmygod what happened why are you small??”

“Are you ok? Are you hurt? Where are your clothes? What happened?!?”

“Hey! Let go!” “Let go of me!!” Both kids struggle and try to push off these strangers, who had swiped them up like they were catching lizards.

The woman squeezed Other Henry tight, ignoring his waving arms, “Oh Henry, what have you done this time?”

“Let go of me right now!”

The man had wrapped his arms around Henrys and wasn't letting go. The boy wiggling like an angry worm.

After another squeeze the lady let go. Seeing this the man does too, though he looks reluctant about it.

“Sorry Edward! We were just…surprised is all.”

Henry hopped out of the man's reach, holding onto the Other Henry in case they were grabbed again.

“Who are you? Where are we?” he demanded.

The man and woman look at each other. The man seemed to be getting paler by the second.

“You don't… remember us?”

“No!” said Other Henry, “So don’t grab us like that again!”

At least the woman looked sorry. She looked away, tapping her fingers together.

“Uh, well, I’m Rachel. Rachel Pidgley… I work here.”

The man looked spaced out until she elbowed him, “Er, right. I’m Robert Lanyon. I, uh...” he stared oddly at Henry.

“You don’t remember anything? Anything about us? About the society?”

“No,” the brunette said. “We woke up here, and we don’t know you.”

Rachel and Robert stared at them in silence for a moment.

“Er, Rachel. A word?”

The grown ups turned to each other and started whispering aggressively.

Other Henry whispered to him too.

“They don’t *look* mean. Maybe they can tell us why we’re here.”

Henry glanced to make sure they weren't listening. “I don’t know, they seemed mad earlier.”

“Well do you see anyone else here? At least they know our name.”

Remembering something, the blonde boy pulled away from him to interrupt their muttering.

“Hey!” the boy pointed at them, “Settle something for us. Which one of us is Henry Jekyll?”

Rachel blinked in surprise, Robert turned to them with a raised eyebrow. Neither of them answered, just looked between the two boys, confused.

Eventually both adults pointed at him.

“Henry, of course.”

Not Henry’s jaw dropped. The tears threatening to come back.

“But, but- if I'm not Henry who am I !?”

The grown ups looked at him with concern.

“You don't…know your name?” Robert asked.

The woman's eyes widened, “Oh! Your name! Tell us your real name. Please?” she begged, to Lanyons confusion.

The boy huffed again, crossing his arms and not looking at them.

Henry looked between everyone, deciding the other wasn’t going to answer them.

“He says his name is also Henry Jekyll. He doesn't have any other names.”

“What?” Rachel gasped, “Why would he say that? Of course he has a name. It just isn't Henry.”

The boy stomped his foot. “Why not!? I want my name to be Henry too!”

“Well it's not. Your name is Edward Hyde.” Lanyon said with finality. Ignoring a swat from the girl.

“Is not! My name's Henry! Henry Jekyll!”

The 'real’ Henry looked between the two nervously. Why couldn't there just be two henrys? He’d always wanted a brother, or a friend, or just anyone who didn't think he was weird honestly.

“Err… the thing is…” Rachel cut in with a flimsy smile on her face, “His name isn't *actually* Edward, that's just what he calls himself.”

Lanyon looked at her with disbelief and exasperation. “Of course it's not. He's a criminal, god forbid he use his real legal name.”

Rachel sighed, putting her hands on her cheeks. “Geez, I’m never going to learn Edward's real name, am I?”

“I already told you nutjobs it's Henry!!!!”

Henry reached up to tug on the gentlemans sleeve, a nice eggplant color, to get his attention.

“Excuse me, can we go home now? Momma said to be back before sundown.”

Rachel and Lanyon freeze in unison.

[gloromeien]

Hellooooo I hope your day is good? Have an ask!

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love! <3

Whoo, my first ask! And from the exceptional and lovely @zenaidamacrouras1, whose fic Monoclonius I'm re-reading right now and loving just as much as the first time. An all-time fave, really, with just the best, sexiest, nerdiest Bucky and the sweetest dad Steve. Check it out if you haven't!

But this of course is supposed to be about *my* fics, so let's get started.

Five Favorite Fics That I've Written:

History Repleating (Or the Proper Care and Feeding of One Steven Grant Rogers), Modern AU, Shrunkyclunks, kidfic

Summary: Captain America!Steve receives a letter from Dr. J.B. Barnes, Brooklyn Historical Society. Except not quite that J.B. Barnes. This leads to Steve and Bucky having a meet cute via Bucky's work as a history teacher. Smut, fluff, and a smidge of angst ensue.

Comments: This one is, IMHO, the best fic I've ever written. Which is not to say it's good, exactly--your mileage may vary--but I don't think I'm ever going to get to this place again. It was winter 2022. We were all just re-emerging from lockdown. I was in the process of caring for my sweet little corgi girl at the end of her life, and I just needed some joy, you know? Something fun to look forward to. I feel like I channeled a lot of those emotions, that grief, into the Steve in this fic. Though it's not a sad fic by any means! It's full of bad jokes and sarcasm and sweetness and found family and people just caring for each other beyond reason. Bucky here is a bright light that comes into Steve's life at just the right moment, that allows him to believe that he could have a real future with someone to love. I really needed to hear that right about then, and so, as Alexander Hamilton sings, I wrote my way out. For that reason and many more, this will always have a special place in my heart.

Last Exit to Brooklyn, Modern AU, Shrunkyclunks, SoulMark

Summary: When Steve Rogers emerged from the ice, he wound up not only in a whole new century, but also with a brand-new soul mark. Knowing that the person he was destined to be with might be just around the corner made it easier for him to settle into a future where happily ever after was a sure thing. Until the Romanian drummer of a 'popular in Europe' heavy metal band, and freight car of personal baggage, come crashing into his life...

Comments: This fic is a confluence of so many things I really, really, really love. Soul mark AUs, for one. I looooooooove those. But I only wanted to write one if I felt like I could bring something new to the table. Once I hit on this particular idea, I knew I had to write it. Also, Tommy Lee!Seb kept me up nights, friends. I loved his look in that so much. As a teen, I had a whole hair metal phase. And it was a fun way to pay a little tribute to Seb's Romanian heritage, so... anyway. I particularly adore some of my Romanian OCs in this--two of them being not so veiled versions of Nadja and Laszlo in What We Do in the Shadows, LOL. Feeling kind of weird about tooting my own horn here, being Canadian and all (Sorry. Sorry. Sorry?) But anyway, they were all really fun to write, even if I think the fic ended up being a little too long and more angsty than I expected. A good thing? A bad thing? You can decide for yourself. ;)

Cut Him Out in Little Stars, Medieval AU, kidfic, arranged marriage

Summary:

Two Houses, both alike in dignity In fair Venora, where we lay our scene

Three years after a brutal, bloody war that saw their formerly friendly queendoms at odds for the first time in history, Prince Steven Rogers of House Grant seeks to solidify the peace between Lehigh and Venora through an alliance--marriage with Prince James Barnes of House Buchanan, his childhood friend turned unexpected enemy. But after years as the Fist of Hydra and a long recovery from brainwashing and torture, Bucky isn't in a place to marry anyone, let alone someone he doesn't even remember. Stubborn to the core, afflicted by tragic losses, and still half in love with someone who might only be a memory, Steve and his family journey to Lynbrooke, the capital of Venora, to attempt to end the tension between their queendoms, and perhaps heal his wounded heart.

Comments: My least-viewed fic by a wide margin, but one that I really love. Playing with the big tropes can be so much fun, and arranged marriage is one of the biggest and messiest. I also rewatched Seb in Kings right before writing this, and it started as a crossover between the world of that series and the idea of arranged marriage. But eventually it took its own path. I have a total soft spot for the Bucky in this one. Probably the most broken I've ever written him. I shy away from Winter Soldier recovery fics--love reading them, will never write one myself--and this is the closest I'll probably get to that. One of the reasons it's close to my heart is because I feel like they really earn their happy ending in this one.

A Slaying in Scarlet, a LOTR Mystery

Summary: On the eve of Aragorn’s coronation, Legolas and Elrohir are charged with investigating a brutal murder at the Citadel.

Comments: My AO3 account is split into two eras. From about 2002-2010-ish, I was heavily involved in the LOTR fandom, specifically writing Legolas/Elrohir, but also a few other pairings, including some OOC pairings along the way. After that, I went off to be a romance writer for a little while (and yes, I'm going to shamelessly plug my Stoker & Bash mystery romance series, because I'm fucking proud of them.) Then watching FatWS knocked me for six, and here we are, all Stucky, all the time. All this to say that my early LOTR work, I am certain, is not good. I have not re-read anything in ages, nor will I ever, most likely. But it was in writing those fics that I found a bit of my voice, and they gave me courage as a writer, and so I couldn't leave them off this list completely. This one is a Sherlock Holmes type deal, because I am also obsessed with mysteries. Hopefully it stands up a little bit. Buyer beware.

A Place to Rest and Remember Yourself (In My Arms), Shrunkyclunks

Summary: It's 2015, and Steve is living in a post-publicly coming out world. His every move is scrutinized in the tabloids and on social media, he's still wrestling with life in the 21st century, and the paparazzi never give him any peace. Making friends who aren't co-workers is practically impossible, let along dating. His solution? Have a regular, no-strings 'arrangement' with one of Natasha's honeypots. Bucky is a former spy and adventurer who used to work for S.H.I.E.L.D., but left for *reasons*. Having just gotten his heart ripped to shreds by a traitorous ex, he finds the idea of a discreet, 'with benefits' arrangement with his teenage-years crush very, very appealing. But you know what they say about what happens the minute you stop looking for love...

Comments: I wanted to write something quick and fun and smutty as hell for Stucky Week 2023. Instead... *sighs* You'll note that this ended up being 18 freaking chapters long. Why am I like this? I wish I knew.

One of my fic-writing missions is to give Steve Rogers the ending he deserves. The MCU did not treat him or his PTSD right--this is well-established in both fandom and a ton of metas more insightful than anything I could ever write on the subject. But where I feel like I maybe can address this a little is in fic. My aim here was to just spoil Steve rotten. To give him the literal world back, in the form of a Bucky who has serious wanderlust. It was also so much fun to play with Doctor Strange and the whole Sanctum Sanctorum stuff, Layla and Marc, Darcy of course, Nat and Sam. The 'love shield' Steve throws up in front of the press was inspired by Harry Windsor's PR move from many moons ago. My favorite part, about this fic, about writing fics in general, is when love just kind of happens to two people who aren't really paying attention, and suddenly it's everything, and they have to conform their lives to this new gorgeous reality. Anyway that's what I'm going for in every fic I write.

This was more talking about myself than any Canadian should do in a month, let alone a day. I need to go lie down. I don't love tagging other authors in these things, but if @burberrycanary, @bluesimplicity73, @musette22, @leveragehunters, or @dontcallmebree haven't done this yet and feel like it, I would love to read your thoughts on your incredible fics. And you, readers, please don't miss any of their tremendous work. Take it from me, their amazing stories (and Zenaida's) keep many a monster at bay when the night is dark and full of terrors. Big love to everyone out there sharing their creative endeavors with the world! <3

[desire-mona]

heard we were making house ocs and ive had a dingus floating around in my head since january so i FINALLY got around to actually making a proper ref sheet. i present my silliest

Dr. Nanette "Ninny" Amesbury :3

more under cut !

big warning lore n backstory n stuff is very bare bones and not all the way there cuz im #lazy

birthday is vague but lets go with ~35 circa s2

if i had a nickel for every oc i had who had absent parents and was raised catholic by their grandparents, id have two nickels. unintentional that it happened twice i sorta forgor the other one's lore for a bit and now its stuck so ummmmm sorry laney. wont be going into childhood bc i havent come up w that yet and honestly i dont care to!!! yada yada yada catholic guilt but not in the chase way bc she hasnt left the church n likely never will

ummmm relationship chart + template

lets just quick go over some relationship highlights cuz some are def more important than others

wilson: mr president a 4th ex wife has hit the james wilson. when were they married? ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm 😁

but they were married for like. 3 years? YES it ended bc he cheated but nin also wasn't the best either her ass was literally never ever there she was ALWAYS at work (like more than normal doctor amounts of at work - only came home to sleep and even that was only 4x a week(also worked at a different hospital))

tw suicide for next part bee tee dub

a big part of the beginning of their relationship was (big surprise) wilson's attraction to what he THOUGHT was neediness but was literally just nin wanting (and trying) to kill herself lol. once the magic of all that went away (perceived independence thats rly just #bottling shit up) he was just kinda like oh :/ its not cool to have a mentally ill wife anymore :/ i was expecting ramona flowers :/ or whatever. so infidelity impact font, hijinks and moving away for [amount] years ensue before nin being hired at ppth as the head of pediatrics. brief fwb situation w wilson Again b4 she finds out shes a lesbian at the end of like. s2.

oh yeah she also tries to kill herself again once she figures it out (see catholic guilt mention) but its cool she lives

cuddy: GAAAAAYYYYY GAAAAYYYYYYY GAY!!!!! DR AMESBURY WANTS TO FUCK THIS WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its one sided tho boooooo cuddys briefly like Wait ? just b4 nin moves away at the end of s6 roughly but shes already. thats done its not happening.

kutner: dont even fucking talk to me. i dont wanna talk about it. im gonna talk about it.

so kutner (like the slut that he is lowkey but society isnt ready for that) asks nin out just after he gets hired and shes like ermmmmmmmmmm! but sensing his loser aura she (still deeply closeted) is like hey haha i dont swing that way sorry !!!!!!! but its ok they become super mega best friends and get nerdy together

i like to think they listen to weird al together OH YEAH NINS THE BIGGEST WEIRD AL YANKOVIC FAN IN NEW JERSEY

and then nothing bad happens!

if youve seen this post about the little writing things kutner got after he croaked then hooray here's nanettes

they make me so fucking upset.

anyway as i stated above nin moves away after s6 for a bunch of reasons. 1) thanks obama 2) a big part of what contributed to her suicidal ideations n such was the fact that deep down she didnt ACTUALLY know what she wanted to do w her life. u may be like she doesnt. want to be a doctor ? NO she doesnt thats just what she did to get money to eventually do what she wants. whatever that is. something something feeling lost in life and unable to reach a goal when u dont even know what the goal is something something. also persistent depressive disorder but like spoon in kitchen.

idk what shes gonna end up doing after she moves but id imagine she shows up for house's funeral so i cant just be like lol nobody gets to know! im thinking painter but idk IDK guys her lore is ROUGH

thats it if u have questions ill answer thanks

[conkreetmonkey]

idk if I've posted this before, but an UT/DR headcanon I have and don't see in others often is that humans in those worlds are not the same as the humans from ours. They're definitely more similar to us than the monsters are, but they're not the same "species" as what we'd consider to be a normal human in our world.

For starters, they can have bright yellow skin. That is straight-up canon. While we've never actually seen two humans interact in canon unless you want to count the end of genocide (which I won't because I interpret it as Chara talking to YOU, not Frisk), the fact that we now have two separate individuals with this skin tone does sort of imply it's normal. It's not a colour it's possible for a human to naturally be in our world; even when one has jaundice, it's not bright-ass Lego minifigure yellow. These kids are the colour of poison dart frogs. They're the colour of a hazard strip. That's not normal.

Given both this hint that these humans are different and the fact that all 3 humans seen in canon are universally addressed by they/them pronouns and are completely androgynous, I have a headcanon/theroy:

Humans in these worlds have no male/female sexes, no concept of gender, and no differing sexually dimorphic traits.

I do not think these humans have men and women. I think all humans are born as genderless, completely androgynous beings, and have no concept of gender within their societies. I have no idea how they'd reproduce, but I imagine them as having either no genitalia, or all having the same "set," and what it looks/functions like I have no clue. Honestly, I'm kind of leaning towards mitosis.

I like this idea for the following reasons:

Mettaton EX being so androgynous despite his identifying as a binary male would be a thing he lifted from humans, being such a fan of them and all. The thing with the four, five and six fingered gloves heavily implies he wanted his body to appear as human as possible, and I suppose that could mean combining what we would consider to be masculine and feminine traits into one metal genderbeast.

It adds a touch of "gremlinous creature" vibes to all 3 human characters; "inhuman" anatomy despite being explicitly, plot-importantly human.

The confusion about reproduction and just how tf not having gender or bio sex would work I and you are feeling right now is EXACTLY how monsters, the main in-universe demographic of both games, would feel.

Feels kind of Homestuck troll-ey, which is always a plus in any Toby Fox project because it solicits groans.

Things I percieve as flaws in this headcanon:

Kind of discredits the non-binary identities of the human characters, especially Kris, whose themes of identity, control over one's body and teenage angst are strongly complimented by a trans identity. If these characters were born non-binary, though, they wouldn't be trans for continuing to identify as such, for the same reason Mettaton and Mad Mew Mew are trans for being born genderless yet having a binary identity.

While opening narrative doors, also closes them... this is again very Kris-centric because they're older, but I've just seen so many portrayals of Kris as a non-binary kid stuck in a perisex body going through puberty that are really interesting and compliment their angst. Binders, facial hair, periods, voice changes... can't do anything with that anymore if these humans don't go through puberty as we know it, and that makes them less relatable.

It just feels bad to hc away canon trans rep like this, yk? UT/DR certainly wouldn't be hurting for it without human trans characters, but they're canonically trans, non-binary playable characters in a mainstream game. That is INSANELY rare. I cannot think of a single other example. Trans mcs are rare enough in mainstream media as a whole, let alone non-binary ones. To strip these characters of that to non-binarify their entire species feels a little... tradeoff-ey.

[electric-lavender]

i must admit that turnabout intruder is one of my problematic faves too.

if you feel like elaborating, i’d love to hear your takes!!

I would absolutely love to elaborate! To preface this I’m exceptionally bad at writing out my thoughts so apologies if this is a little all over the place. Also this got way longer than I expected and I still don’t feel like I covered all my thoughts so sorry for the super long reply.

The tl;dr is that I think the episode is trying to show us, in Star Trek’s exaggerated way, that experiencing misogyny and internalizing is bad and that is the fault of the how society treats women and not, you know, women.

I’ve only seen the episode once so I think I definitely need to watch it again to fully sort out my thoughts. For some context I recently did a full tos watch, I mostly watch tng as a kid and a few random tos eps, and as I was making my way through I thought a lot about how the like for what makes something socially progressive shifts over time. There are a lot of episodes and themes that we have to look at through the culture context of the late sixties.

That being said I think one of the places tos, and basically every other show, really falls short is how it understands and represents gender. For me this is most clear in how every alien has the same understanding of sex and gender as humans but that is for a separate rant. This is about gender by way of misogyny. So without further ado here is my defense of turnabout intruder.

Before I watched turnabout intruder my understanding of it was that it was bad in the not well written way and bad in the misogynistic way. I think it’s important to know that I do not think this episode is free of misogyny, few tos episodes are, but I think if we all up on our critical thinking caps we can see that there is *gestures vaguely* something worth talking about.

When I finally watched it I was expecting it to be much more misogynistic than it was so I really psyched myself up, but I genuinely don’t think it makes it on my top three most misogynistic tos episodes. The only part that really made me cringe was when Scotty is talking to Bones about how he’s never seen Kirk so hysterical. I think that the use of the word hysterical is totally unnecessary to what Scotty is saying and only serves to make that line overtly misogynistic.

I think the thing that makes me not label Janice’s who character as just a poorly hysterical woman who’s purpose in the narrative is to remind us that women aren’t fit to lead because of emotions or whatever is that, at least to me, she seems more complex than that. The thing that leads me to believe that the writers had some idea what they were doing is how Janice clearly has the most intense case of internalized misogyny I may have ever seen.

The episode doesn’t want us to come away from it believing women aren’t fit to lead because they’re emotional. It want us to understand that misogyny is so poisonous that a lifetime of experiencing it can drive you to hate yourself so much that, in the case of Janice you would do nothing short of murder to escape it.

I was going to add a bit at the end about Kirk as a victim of abuse but I can’t organize my thoughts about that very well right now. Other people have written much more eloquent post about this, but I’ll say that the thing that stuck with me is that his masculinity is never brought into question. No one on the ship thinks less of him because a woman hurt him and I think, although it’s not the focus of the episode, it’s something that’s important to mention.

I have somehow managed to leave out all of my transgender thoughts from this so perhaps if I have the energy for that at some point I will make a part two with that.



[ardenation]

THOUGHTS ON (some of) SWEET TOOTH SEASON 3

Just my rambles. Also I only remembered sweet tooth existed 2 days before the third season came out so I quickly re-watched season 2 and then season 3 right after AND WHEN I TELL YOU I HAVE THOUGHTS ON THIS SHOW.

spoilers under the cut

Okay, I can't remember which order the episodes are so I'm winging it here and just word vomiting. in my defense my best friend is away camping and I have nobody to yap about this to so tumblr gets it instead.

The first thing I can remember is that whole thing with the bat kid. OH MY GOD. that poor kid man. it's so awful how his parents raised him to believe that what he was was unfit for society, below humans, and not natural. no kid should have to grow up like that. I don't completely blame the parents, but there were some very, very bad decisions made. and the fucking scene where the dad tries to cut off the baby's hybrid traits??? I got SO reminded of when Gus' antler was cut off. baby boy was mutilated. but the difference between the scene with the baby and gus was that nobody was there to stop it from happening. nobody was there to wrangle the saw out of that guy's hands. bruh. tears. I fucking hate it here.

also live laugh love Rani <33

uhh I dunno what comes after that so let's jump to the boat episode! *laughs nervously*

That. freaking. episode. broke me. I didn't even want to keep watching after that (lie) because it was just so incredibly awful. just when they walked onto that boat for the first time and It was dead silent? goosebumps. especially after finding that dead body. by the way, this is when I started to dislike Dr. singh. bro fell way off after Rani left. anyway, I did not trust Darwin AT ALL when he was introduced. I thought he was shady as all hell. Glad I was proved wrong in the end, though. not important. let's talk about those dead bodies and what Gus had to do because that is a whole rodeo.

I admit, when I first heard he was going to have to find and toss dead bodies overboard my first thought was 'FUCK yes trauma angst trauma angst trauma angst' because what can I say, it's how my brain works. it started off pretty chill, the deer boy doing some nice yardwork and tossing the flowers overboard. okay. this is fine. oh, shit, now he's found dead bodies. oh my god he's crying. oh my god i'm crying. MY BABY. MY BABY BOY, WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS TO YOU?! anyway that was probably the most fucked up thing I have ever watched in my life. kill me. kill me- and the fact that he kept all the people's little things as ways to remember them? what the fuck. what the hell netflix. why would you do this. he's just a little kid. I'm going to kill someone. ALSO I fucking KNEW Darwin was going to get sick. I was watching it with my little sister, and when he popped up I went 'bet you Gus is gonna look away and darwin's finger is gonna start twitching' then BOOM. also, that makes it so much worse. at this point I was like, how many more people is this poor kid going to to lose? WHY IS HE SO TRAUMATIZED???

hahaha. boy oh boy.

side note, why was Siana and Birdie actually so cute? I would've loved for their relationship to be explored more before... yk. and Nuka?? my baby. my darling. she means everything, actually.

wait what happens next?? idk

episode 7 time! or at least the end of it.

first of all, FUCK YOU DR. SINGH. I LIKED YOU AT THE START BUT NOW?.ALL THIS DESTINY BULLSHIT 'it's my destiny to kill gus' BRO YOU JUST SAID YOUR DESTINY IS TO MURDER AN INNOCENT CHILD?? WHAT IS GOING ON IN YOUR BRAIN. THIS IS WHY RANI LEFT. and when Adi was getting closer and closer to stab Gus, when he was screaming and kicking, I was actually going to vomit and cry. what the actual fuck. why is this show so incredibly messed up. it's not even funny. this is the most disturbing shit I have seen in a while which is saying a lot. the sheer horror of the things in this show once you start to think about it is insane. anyway before that whole thing I genuinely thought 'hm I think that blood on Adi's knife in the vision thing is actually big man's blood because he probably protected gus' and I was half right? I was not expecting Birdie to be killed AT ALL. It totally took me by surprise. once again, this show is so horrifying and sad. Gus crying over Birdie. i'm going to die. he's an orphan. why is this stupid world so mean to this kid?? he's turning into fucking Peter Parker for god's sake! I really, really thought big man was going to die in that cave. and imagine if he did? Gus would've lost both his parents AND his father figure in just a few months. I would've lost my mind. anyway. birdie's dead. jesus fucking christ. WHY. JUST WHY. NETFLIX, STOP HURTING MY BOY.

Alright, let's see if I can remember literally anything that happens in episode 8.

It was such an emotional rollercoaster fr. I felt like I was getting emotional whiplash every five seconds. he's gonna die! wait, he's gonna live! now this guy is actually gonna murder Gus! wait, now this guy turned good and saved him! holy shit, everybody is going to die- holy shit EVERYBODY IS DEAD! wait, Gus cut himself to bleed on a tree and now they're alive! oh my god, Gus finally snapped! wait, now his dead dad is popping up and convincing him to save people again! OH MY GOD BECKY IS DEAD! WAIT OH MY GOD SHE'S ALIVE! (I think that one was the worst) NO is big man going to die on that mountain?? oh good he's not! omg jordan actually died in the crash!

....there was no resolution to that one. good riddance. sorry Jordan fans.

and then we had the whole reveal of Gus being the narrator the whole time- how tf did I not predict that?? Also, am I the only one who doesn't like stuff that does those huge timeskips where it shows the main characters when they're old. is it just me who doesn't like it. okay i'll go

let's talk about Gus and Wendy for a second. honestly, throughout the whole of season 2 and three there was a little nagging voice in my head saying 'it's a boy and a girl interacting.... you know they're going to end up together' and I would tell my head 'stfu, I wouldn't really like that because there are no good girl boy friendships in any media ever that's completely platonic (mostly, anyway)'. I was hoping SO SO badly Wendy and Gus would stay platonic besties forever, simply because it's cute and stuff like that barely happens. praying to GOD. but I knew deep down it was hopeless from the start. I don't like when media does that. 'oh, look! it's a boy and a girl of the same age meeting as kids! OBVIOUSLY the only possible route to go from here is romance, RIGHT?' I mean i'm biased as a gay enby chronically online person who thinks these stereotypes are shit but it's true. don't get me wrong. I love wendy. I love her so, so so much. but just- WHY?! I was at least hoping it would be somebody we didn't know or something. oh well.

i mean, I guess they only held hands a few times and sat together as old people, so maybe there's a tiny little chance it wasn't romantic? but they also had grandkids. yk what fuck canon. they're old besties. I think they'd be cute either way but I just prefer them friends.

SO. the sweet tooth fanfic community. it's admittedly nonexistent. I went to check the tag earlier and like- what?? it's ALL weird shit. there was like three good ones but just like why Is that all of what's in our fandom?? guys, we have not done well.

I call upon all ao3 authors and encourage them write sweet tooth (if you want to). It doesn't even matter if it's a short fluffy or angst drabble, we just need to wash the weird shit out. go ahead and post that 200 word interaction you wrote between big man and Gus in the aftermath. we need more good fic in this fandom, DESPERATELY.

and why did the writers put Gus through so much. like his dad dies, he's captured, traumatized, mutilated, shot in the leg, shot in the back, traumatizedx100 on the boat, watches his mom get murdered to protect him, has his father figure almost die multiple times, has a scientist try to kill him with a knife while holding him down multiple times, fucking snaps, and idek. WHYYYYYY. WHAT DID HE EVEN DO TO DESERVE THIS?? WHAT DID ANYBODY DO IN THIS SHOW TO DESERVE ALL THAT HAPPENED TO THEM?????? man....

I think that's all that's in my brain? this wasn't really a review just me spitting words.

moral of the story, I have adopted Gus and that is that. if you managed to get through all this you have a longer attention span than everybody I know combined when they try to listen to me ramble so congrats lmao

and I know I only brought up a few things but don't even get me started on Zhang, Rosie, and her kids because I will not shut up. and Jordan. Jordan why did you do that. and Munaq, that poor guy. ANYWAY I gotta stop talking now cuz it's 9:45pm byeee