#socially awkward and/or repressed for. most of them.

[lavenderprose]

Thank you God and also Jesus for giving Emmrich the most rizz of any character in this game. It would have been so easy to make the goth academic fifty-year-old the butt of every 'awkward loser' joke that anyone even slightly to the wrong side of nerdy has ever heard. Instead he's a fucking beacon of game in a sea of thirty somethings with crippling social issues. Neve says 'I love you' like someone is forcing her to do it at gunpoint, Davrin does nothing but hookups because he's decided he's constantly seven seconds away from death, Harding is repressed as fuck, and don't even get me STARTED on Lucanis. My man has cried through every orgasm he's ever had.

Meanwhile Emmrich's making wisps dance for Rook and taking them on romantic cemetery dates and making tender love to them in a COFFIN. He KNOWS Rook is into him and he immediately lets them know it. He's fun and funny because he likes dead things and books a bit too much but he can also look at you from across the room and stroke a finger over his mustache and you KNOW where you'll be sitting at the end of the night. Unambiguously this man fucks. Thank you for my life Sylvia Feketekuty.

[thestarssecrets]

⋅───⊱༺ ♰ ༻⊰───⋅

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Astrology Observations

•all of these are purely my own observations and opinion.•

TW: mention of body issues and dissociation

Leo Risings almost always have some sort of body issue trauma or confidence issues.

Libra Mercurys when meeting people all have this certain type of awkward laugh like a “pff” noise and humm a lot in agreement even when they don’t agree. (this is more tailored with virgo and gemini placements in the mix with it but if you’re a libra mercury and this resonates without those lmk!)

Mars and Saturn in the 1st house when unhealed makes everything a competition. They have to be ���successful”. If that means knocking you down a pegs or talking shit about you to make them feel better about themselves…they will do it. If it’s in Leo they have to have all the attention. If it’s in Aquarius they will act unbothered and aloof but talk mega shit about you. etc. whatever sign these planets are in it causes friction. there is a constant yearning to push but saturn restrains it. They might feel like they have to be constantly be in action or “maintaining” their image to be enough. This causes a more than deep inner frustration when they see someone achieving the things they want.

Gemini Sun in the 11th I feel like fits the stereotype of “gemini being two faced” the most. Their ego is constantly changing from the information and energy they are absorbing from other groups of people. Very chameleon like. If they don’t have a strong sense of self, or other planets in the chart that suggest this, i feel like it could lead to identity/self image issues. Same for the 7th house but i feel like the 11th house is more pungent. It’s not just personal relationships it’s community and the social world as a whole.

12th house placements are the worst when it comes to reflective people. The 12th house often holds things that are hidden from ourselves. Thinking about it on the chart wheel, the 12th house is right above the 1st. Almost as if it’s what guides us but it’s unseen. If there’s any personal planets in the 12th house and they are aspected heavily it could show us repressed issues that control the persons life without their knowledge of it. Whenever they meet people that force them to face themselves it’s particularly hard for these natives, not because it’s hard information to swallow, but because the information and emotion that comes with it can be confusing as a whole. From my experience they often shut people out or avoid them completely because they aren’t ready to face those issues.

Virgo Moons often have mothers that are self critical. I’ve noticed the mothers of virgo moons have body issues and obsessed over it. This can lead them to unconsciously pick up on these critical,self improvement mindset. it’s very important for these natives to be aware of the relationship to the mother and themselves. i’ve also met other virgo moons and this remains true!!

8th house moons need to feel understood more than any other house moon placement. They feel deeply and crave soul-level connections. day to day connections are probably draining for this person. to feel emotionally stable they need a person that gets them completely,fully,and nakedly. trust and authenticity is vital to this native.

Almost every scorpio moon i’ve met are disconnected from their feelings. personally i’ve never met one that didn’t feel distant emotionally. this could be because of their protective nature emotionally or because their emotions are too intense for them to feel themselves. either way it’s very interesting to see, coming from a scorpio rising, how scorpios energy works. my sister and boyfriend both have scorpio moons, the two closest people in my life, and there is always still a sense of mystery there.

Moon in the 12 house often repress their emotions so much it could lead to dissociation. I don’t have this placement myself, but i recently met someone that gets my emotional energy like no other and she has her moon in the 12th house. Some issues that come up are knowing you feel a lot and deeply but it’s just out of reach for you to truly get to the “bottom” of the feeling. Feeling so overwhelmed that you don’t know how to react in a moment that would normally prompt a reaction. Taking on people’s emotions because they “sense” the emotions others aren’t verbally voicing.

10th house stelliums especially with saturn feel like they have to achieve something career wise before they do anything else in life. It could be from an outside force or themselves, but it’s very important for these natives to understand that their success is not directly tied to who they fundamentally are. It’s okay to fail and it’s important to try re define what success to this native actually looks like.

If you have Uranus or Neptune in the third house you might randomly get spiritual downloads or hits from writing, driving in your car, listening to music, words standing out from listening to someone’s conversation, radios, school work.

Sagittarius Moons depending on what house and how it’s aspected can be deep feelers. They feel most comfortable focusing on the bright side of things and making light of situations, but the need to find meaning and purpose to an emotion is still there, just like any other sagittarius placement. If they find enjoyment in finding meaning to their emotions they could start to feel comfortable processing deeper complex emotions. they might intellectualize emotions on a more negative note.

•that’s all for now! if you have any questions feel free to shoot them!

pictures: Meawbin The Creepy Cat

Information: thestarssecrets. do not steal.

[housemdork]

just some hilson thoughts in these trying times

all of these things i think about constantly & fondly and exist in my mind as true canon:

house has been interested/obsessed with wilson since the second he saw him; the divorce papers ordeal combined with wilson looking like he did in 1991 sent the bisexual alarm ablaze.

only someone as repressed and clueless as wilson could take "you were the only person who didn't bore me" as a purely platonic statement.

relatedly, i think he was very convinced throughout their time together at the new orleans medical conference that wilson liked men, and only during some horribly awkward flirting attempts house witnessed from afar did house realize that either A) wilson is unfortunately straight or B) he's repressed beyond belief. being so good at reading people, i bet house accurately picks up on the latter.

house playing instruments for wilson is one of their most significant forms of intimacy.

paradoxically, since wilson is very gentle and hands on with just about everyone else in his life (patients included), he never crosses any physical barriers with house as a sign of respect for his boundaries. this goes pretty unnoticed by house until someone points it out - "aren't you guys really close? he's never even given you a pat on the back?"

they don't smoke together very often but they used to and wilson gets incredibly giggly every time, which house loves to see. wilson gets paranoid about drug testing, which sparks an argument about vicodin and double standards. wilson loses the argument every time.

wilson kissed house when they were high exactly one (1) time several years before canon. wilson was so blasted he's convinced himself it was a dream, and house always kept it in his back pocket as a desperate "gotcha" moment for the future. but the memory is too sacred and tender to ruin it by being petulant, so he never brings it up.

HOUSE IS A YEARNER. AT HIS VERY CORE, HE IS A YEARNER. WHEN ALL OF HIS BULLSHIT IS STRIPPED AWAY, HE YEARNS! wilson is better at shoving everything deeper and deeper than house.

through some grand scheming alongside cuddy, it was actually wilson's idea that they have adjoining offices, but he and cuddy worked together to make house think it was his idea and that, by getting the adjoining office, he'd won over the 2 of them.

cuddy is the only person who ever broaches the topic of house's feelings for wilson while she and house are dating. knowing them both as well as she does, she can see some sincerity there. she asks house about it and eventually gets a clipped but genuine answer: "i mean...yeah. sure. but that minefield is so sensitive that even looking at it too closely will start a chain reaction. so no thanks."

thirteen instantly picks up on house and wilson's "deal." like she can't believe it's not outright and obvious to everyone else.

SEASON 8/POST-CANON SPOILERS

i don't think house and wilson die simultaneously. whether out of reverence, grief, or masochism, i think house would try to live without wilson even for just a few hours. then he would be fully in touch with the human experiences he's always avoided/felt alienated from. it would be the final challenge for his atheism to conquer.

while holding fast to the fact that they've never slept together and never will, they get increasingly intimate with one another in those last 5 months. they share a bed, keeping mostly to their respective sides of the mattress, but really ramp up the whole "no social contract" thing. sometimes hands wander and they wake up with gentle touches on their sides, shoulders, etc. house is preparing to lose the only person who even understands his kind of intimacy, while wilson, being someone who seeks it out, struggles with this new arrangement, and all they have is each other atp!

they change how they describe their relationship to strangers while they're on the road. one day they're business partners, another day they're married, then on a first date, then professorial colleagues, then third cousins (wilson hates that one), etc., etc.

even more so than house, wilson likes that he can finally shed off layers of his old identity and feels more authentic than he ever has while road-tripping with house in the end.

i'll probably come back to this list and keep adding but there ya go, those are some of my thoughts :)

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

How do you feel about aromantic idia

As a headcanon? I love (jokingly) bullying Idia for being a socially awkward and sexually repressed otaku, but personally I also like the idea of him being aromantic. He doesn't like attention focused on him and generally seems to prefer fictional characters (ie his waifus/j) to interacting with real people. However, I think it goes deeper than just that. There's many lines in his Suitor Suit card that hint at Idia being repulsed by romance (even if you remove the context of him being kidnapped and forced to wed a ghost):

"There's no reasoning with people who lose their minds over every little infatuation. Like, just keep your head down and focus on school!" (He prioritizes other things, such as school and dismisses things like crushes.)

"I could never swear my eternal love. There's no such thing, and I'm nothing if not honest." (Here, he denies the existence of "eternal love".)

"Love is just chemicals in your brain. And people call that fate? They're all nuts, if you ask me." (He describes the feeling of love in a cold, scientific manner when this isn't something most people would think that deeply about.)

"Don't leave me. Stay with me forever. ...Oof, these emo lines are killing me. I'm gonna steer clear of proposals for the rest of my life." (He makes fun of typical romantic lines and then outright states he doesn't ever want to propose to anyone.)

"Do whatever you want with me. Just get it over with!" (Idia conveys distress and wanting to quickly be done with the kiss/general romantic circumstances.)

"If you want to talk romance, I'm your guy. I'm familiar with all the popular fan ships in video games and manga. You might even call me an expert." (He diverts the topic of real-life romances to his hobbies; aromantics, contrary to popular belief, can still enjoy romantic media without being attracted to or having limited attraction to real people themselves.)

Beyond his Suitor Suit lines, Idia has expressed upset at romantic love being viewed differently than platonic love. In 6-76, during his post-OB flashback, Idia shows off Ortho to Styx researchers, who are appalled by what he has done. "Wait... You built your late brother?! But that's wrong, Mr. Shroud!" they tell him. To that, Idia says, "So it's romantic when a hero rescues his ladylove from the Underworld, but when I do the same for my brother it's wrong?" He's frustrated that the story about Hercules diving into the Underworld to save Megara is praised, but him going that same extreme distance to revive his loved one--an act of platonic love--is denounced.

Idia is also consistently a character that has been shown to enjoy optimization and efficiency. He doesn't like anything that overcomplicates what can easily be done or made easier by machines. For someone like him, who was raised in isolation and has to bear the guilt of potentially dooming a future partner to the Shroud family curse, I think he'd just say "fuck it" at some point and decide it's ultimately not worth that hassle. It could read like a justification for him if others ask why he never looked into finding a spouse, S/O, etc. Like he'd tell them it isn't worth his time or something to get them off his back.

Of course, this is just my personal headcanon and you're free to agree or disagree with me on it! (I support all you Idia yumes and shippers out there 😉) Let's remember that we're all here to have fun and to not take these things too seriously.

[rabidrabbit10]

Miscellanious DuckTales (2017) Headcanons!

Louie hatched last because he was too small when he was born. It took a lot of strength for him to be able to break out of the egg shell and by the time he did, he was completely exhauted. He wasn't breathing shortly afterwards either. The doctors were eventually able to get him to start breathing again, but he had to spend some time in the neonatal intensive care unit afterwards.

Webby is VERY sensitive to caffeine and cannot have anything with caffeine in it as a result.

June gets very nervous in social situations. They often leave her feeling completely drained. During social interactions, June can often be awkward or even rude without intending to be. She now believes that she just wasn't meant to have any friends and has started isolating herself as a result.

Mrs. Beakley wants to have Webby evaluated for Autism, but the wait list is very long. She's been on it for a little over a year now.

Della is in therapy but only because she lost an argument with Donald. Donald wanted Della to go to therapy so she could address her trauma from being on the moon. It clearly is still affecting her and Donald was very concerned. Della, however, insisted that she was "just fine" and refused to go. Scrooge eventually got involved just because he wanted to make them stop fighting. He decided to flip a coin and whoever won the coin toss won the argument. Della called heads and Donald called tails. Della was certain she would win because although her luck isn't the best, Donald's is worse. There's no way he'd win! Scooge flipped the coin and the twins waitied with baited breath. The coin landed on tails. Della was put on a waiting list to see a trauma therapist the next day, cementing her defeat. Donald has never let her live it down.

Lena has a large number of memories that her brain has repressed due to trauma. Most of her life prior to arriving in DuckBurg is a blur to her. Due to her living situation and the horrible way Magica treated her, Lena's brain was stuck in survival mode and didn't correctly process many of her memories, hence them being in some sort of limbo.

Whenever Donald gets a scam call, he picks up the phone and starts singing. They always hang up immediately.

Huey, B.O.Y.D. and Violet collect old phones from the 2000s and early 2010s. They like to make YouTube videos reviewing the old devices.

Dewey doesn't need much sleep to function. He has been known to survive an entire day on just four hours of sleep. He never complains of exhaustion or looks even remotely sleepy either.

Huey likes to read until he falls asleep.

Violet is a musician. She plays multiple instruments and knows a bit about singing.

May is a total perfectionist. She has very high standards that she expects herself to live up to. For example, May enjoys writing music, but if her songs aren't one-hundered percent perfect, she completely discards them.

[alphajocklover]

No longer a Spider, finally a Man

**Hey! First time doing a fanfic muscle growth. Or at least posting it. I hope you guys like it! Please tell me how I can do better, and send in story suggestions if you want!**

Peter Parker loved being Spider-Man. He loved saving people, he loved using his powers to make a difference, he loved swinging through the sky line. But he also hated it. He hated the pressure, the responsibility, the fact that he nd his loved ones were in constant danger, the fact that he was always lying to everyone. He hated that he could never be normal. But then again Peter had never been very normal. Even before becoming Spider-man he had been a nerd. Smart, socially awkward, and tormented by the popular kids. That didn’t exactly change after becoming Spider-Man either, though his social issues had definitely gone to the back burner with him constantly fighting crime. If he was being honest his social life had only gotten worse since becoming a superhero. He had gained some muscle and no longer needed glasses, yes, but he couldn’t exactly show that. He hadn’t had time for his friends, his normally fantastic grades were slipping, and Flashes bullying had only gotten worse.

As Peter, out of costume, walked to Midtown, he wondered what it would be like to be a normal teenager. Not just what it would be like to not be Spider-Man, but to not be a nerd. He wondered what it would be like to be a regular teenage boy. Maybe if he wasn’t Spider-Man he could have even been… cool or something. Probably not, but it was still a nice fantasy. Just as he was imagining this, his spider-sense went off. He looked around, prepared to jump out of the way of any danger, but, even with his super reflexes, he couldn’t get out of the way before the strange something hit him right in the middle of his chest. Peter stumbled back, not realizing that the reality stone, one of the infinity stones, had lodged itself inside of his heart. Normally such a thing would kill someone, or at least hurt them, but due to the magic nature of the stone it phased through his chest and inside of him without harming him. Peter blinked. What… just happened? He had sworn something had just flown into his chest but… wouldn’t that have killed him or something? Before he could investigate further, an alarm on his phone began to ring. Crap, he was late for class! Peter ran into the school as the power of the reality stone seeped into his blood. He turned a corner, just a hallway away from his classroom, when he almost ran straight into a wall of muscle, his super-reflexes being the only thing that saved him. As he skirted to a halt, he came face to face with his biggest tormentor (supervillains and news editors notwithstanding) : Flash Thompson. The most popular jock in school and Peter Parker's personal bully. The blond quarterback sneered cockily at Peter before he spoke

“Hey there Puny Parker. Running late again? I thought geeks like you were supposed to be punctual and shit?” Flash said with a cocky mocking laugh.

“What do you want, Flash?” Peter asked with a scowl, trying to keep his patience.

“Just checking up on my favorite nerd.” Flash mocked, grabbing Peter’s arm. Before Peter could react, Flash had shoved him up against the locker, peters arm pinned behind his back. What the heck? He had super powers, enhanced reflexes, he should have been able to see that coming. Peter didn’t realize that his subconscious desire to be normal was repressing his powers. Unable to fight back, Peter was shoved into a nearby open locker and locked inside. Peter sighed. Stuck in a locker again. Peter didn’t notice as the orange light in his chest began to glow. He closed his eyes and deeply wished… to stop being a loser. To be normal. To be… anything else than who he was. The orange light grew brighter and brighter… until it completely consumed Peter. Suddenly he heard something

“Parker… Parker!”

With a start Peter Parker woke up, looking around in shock. He was… in a classroom? He was sitting at a desk at the back of a class he didn’t recognize, one that he seemed to have been sleeping through. Had all of that been a crazy dream? He looked over to see the remedial math teacher, Ms Jones. What was he doing in remedial math? Before he could say anything, Ms Jones spoke once more

“Mr Parker, please try to stay awake during class. Your grade is already low enough.” She said, sending a chuckle throughout the room. Peter spoke without thinking, his voice deeper and fuller than he remembered.

“Sorry teach. I’m still tired from our ‘study session’ last night. Thanks for the extra tutoring by the way~” he said. Did he just… flirt with a teacher? He did! And weirdly enough the slight embarrassed blush on Ms Jones face suggested that it was working. Ms. Jones spoke again, more timid this time

“While.. just don’t be late tonight.” She said with a slight wink, before walking over to the front of the classroom again. This caused the class, which now that Peter was looking consisted mostly of the football team, too laugh loudly, one punching Peter on the shoulder in a playful manner. Peter felt a smirk he couldn’t control come over his face, and his eyes involuntaries followed Ms Jones' ass as she walked back to the front of the class. In a daze, Peter tried to figure out what was happening. Wasn’t he just in a locker? What was he doing in remedial math? And why was he acting so weird? Before he could wonder any further, the bell rang and class was dismissed. Peter ran out without talking to anyone, and headed to a nearby bathroom. He looked in the mirror and froze. It was Peter but… completely different. He was bigger, taller, with wider shoulders. He had full, bouncy pecs that were barely contained by his tank top, shredded abs that he could grate cheese on, and truly impressive biceps. Peter had gone from a geek who gets stuffed into lockers to a huge muscular jock! Peter wanted to be shocked, to be horrified, but… he felt another smirk cross his face. He began to flex his muscles cockily. He smirked and felt his thoughts turn. He looked fucking amazing! I mean, of course he did. He was big Pete Parker, the big man, the quarterback, the stud! Slowly Peter began to forget about his old self, too absorbed in the strong, dull thoughts going through his head. He wondered what he and his best bro Flash would do after football practice? Maybe beat up some geeks, or find a hottie to hook up with? Peter had a lot of girls to choose from already, including MJ, Liz, Gwen, Charlie and of course Ms Jones, but… he wouldn’t mind another. Pete smirked and strut out of the bathroom, not noticing a light orange glow between his pecs. Life was fucking sweet.

[sxeraphfic]

SFW ALPHABET W/ DONNIE DARKO

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

Hey everyone! decided to do the sfw alphabet thing, i got rid of a few that felt unneeded or like id already partially answered them. hope you enjoy my loves <3

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Donnie as a very socially awkward and emotionally repressed person would be awkward with affection at first, i think he’d want to hug and kiss you and be cuddly but get nervous of freaking you out or scaring you. He has the mentality that he’s abit of a freak so he’ll project that unfortunately. However as time goes on and he learns to trust and feel your love he will become very affectionate.

He definitely enjoys hugs from behind whether it’s from you or him, not only is it cozy feeling but he occasionally likes to surprise you and give you a little scare because he’s a tease

Donnie also and obviously enjoys handholding and kissing, he’ll make sure to hold your hand wherever you go!

He isn’t particularly scared of PDA, he won’t do anything extreme but i feel like he’s a little unaware of his surroundings sometimes so he’ll happily go for a kiss or a hug in the middle of the street.

Donnie feels most comforted at home, away from people and with you. He’ll be extra cuddly then, whether it’s laying on your chest or getting his hair stroked he’ll love the attention and warmth you bring to him and he’ll do the exact same for you.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Donnie would probably be abit emotionally unavailable as a best friend not going to lie, i think he’d have a hard time differentiating between why a best friend is different to a normal friend… “shouldn’t you treat your friends all the same?”

However after awhile it’d be clear to him that you’re a trustworthy and good person, he’d open up to you about a few of his more… complicated problems and may even impulsively tell you some weird things during his episodes

The friendship would begin probably with you initiating it through some sort of party or maybe at school, at first he’d be a little distant and non chalant but after awhile he would have a genuine interest in your hobbies, life, personality etc

He’d probably feel most comfortable just hanging out in his room listening to music or playing video games maybe even reading or studying together.

He’d be loyal aswell, and open to listening to your problems as he out of all people would know what it feels like to have problems.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Cuddling with friends or family? absolutely not. But with a lover it’s a completely different story.

He’ll try to smoothly initiate it but end up accidentally saying or doing something silly and you’ll both laugh it off

He’s clingy aswell, not at first but as time goes on it’ll show, even during the hottest of summer nights he’ll try to link hands together as you sleep.

He looooves when you initiate it first, not just because he’s shy but it shows you want him and that’s all he needs to feel appreciated

I can imagine you two both standing together at a bus stop on a cold snowy day, cuddling together with his face buried in your hair to keep warm.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Donnie definitely wants to settle down at some point, i don’t see him having commitment issues but more so the complete opposite. Once he’s found the one he won’t let go and will do his best to be a good boyfriend OR husband despite his mental health.

Donnie would be a little messy about cleaning, he’s not lazy (most of the time) and i think he’d want the cleaning and cooking duties to be equal on both parts so he’d be happy to learn to cook for you.

During possible depressive or psychotic episodes he would require you to be a little more understanding on why he may not be perfect at keeping everything clean, he’d apologise in embarrassment but surely you’d understand <3

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Donnie would be terrible at breakups, i think he’s the type to dump and ghost and never speak again unfortunately.

He’d do the right thing by at least talking it out in person, but it would be an awkward conversation for sure and relatively fast paced as he wouldn’t know what to say afterwards.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Donnie would probably not really actually care at least too much about marriage, he wants it but he won’t be asking to marry you straight away.

That being said that doesn’t mean he’s not committed to you, he’s all yours and he expects the same from you!

I can imagine it wouldn’t take long before he pops the question out, maybe at a pretty looking park or dinner date where he makes the effort to have everything be lovey dovey and romantic.

I can imagine late night conversations in bed with him, and him suddenly bringing up the idea of marriage. “do you see us together in the future y/n?”

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Donnie is an absolute gentle soul towards you, he’s never violent or rough and is absolutely terrified of hurting or scaring you.

He gets easily frustrated and annoyed but is quick to apologise and stop if you tell him he needs to calm down

Occasionally donnie will enjoy a little play fighting or a little pinch to give you a shock, but most of the time he prefers to just be gentle with you.

Emotionally donnie tries his best to be gentle, however he’s filled with sarcasm and is a little bit of a meanie, it’ll show and if you tell him you don’t appreciate it he’ll try his best to repress himself. Otherwise if you enjoy it he’ll probably like that and ramp it up a little more for the banter factor.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Donnie’s hugs depend on where you are.

In public places his hugs will usually be casual and quick, he’ll probably give you a kiss on the forehead too during it.

In more private places he’ll be much more relaxed and give you long and heartfelt hugs, kind of bear hug like in a sense. He might rough up your hair and give you lots of kisses during it aswell.

Donnie is always happy to receive a hug from you too, he won’t mind how long they are or how intense you are about it. He just likes that you want to give him one in the first place!

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Donnie doesn’t really understand social norms like waiting 3 months to say i love you, if he’s with you in the first place that means he loves you. So it’ll probably take less than a week for him to announce it to you, maybe even on the same day you get together. He’s fast paced with his emotions and words and is quite blunt about it.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Oh boy do i have opinions on this.

Donnie will get jealous and he’ll definitely ruminate and stress on it, HOWEVER he will not blame you for it unless you’re showing signs of cheating.

When he’s jealous it’ll take him a few days before he really admits it, in the mean time he’ll be a little distant and more sad looking than usual. He’ll ask for validation from you like a sad little puppy whilst not even being open about why he’s asking for it in the first place. The next stage will be him getting a little snarky about whatever’s made him jealous which is where you’ll realise what’s happened.

Donnie is a paranoid person, but for you he knows to try tone it down. If you realise he’s jealous and just comfort and explain to him that he doesn’t have to be, he’ll immediately feel comforted and better about it. Just don’t keep him waiting on it.

I think during his episodes he’ll be a little more aggressive about it but as i said all he wants is the confirmation that you only want him.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

It’s hard to tell with donnie whether his kisses are going to end up in a rough and steamy make out sesh or if it’s gonna be just a quick little peck. Either way he’ll make sure to kiss you on the regular!

Donnie’s favourite places to kiss you are

Your lips (ofc) your forehead your cheeks your neck your stomach and thighs and literally anywhere else. lol.

Donnie personally likes to be kissed in those exact places too, especially his neck. it gives him butterflies.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Hmmm as a teen obviously he just likes to tease and make fun of them, especially his little sister.

But as he gets older and as he’s stated himself he definitely wants to have kids, he’d only have them if he was mentally well enough to handle them though.

That being said if he did have them and was mentally well, he’d been a kind of “cool dad” if you get what i mean. Not afraid to be honest and direct with his kids about the world, maybe occasionally make a silly more adult joke or swear around them. He’d want them to be emotionally intelligent and know how to navigate though their world, so he’d be cautious about the media and information they consume.

He’d also defend them against school authority probably lol. Even if they’re in the wrong and they’ve done something stupid he’ll be the first to say it’s not a big deal.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

“Nooo ten more minutes” type of energy here. you will not be leaving that bed until he’s ready!

If hes in his bed cuddling you he’s as happy as can be, he loves to stare and admire how you look when you’re sleeping so he always hopes to wake up before you.

Once he’s out of bed he’s abit of a grump for the next hour or so, he enjoys it if you happen to make breakfast for him but it’s not a big deal if you don’t.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

There’s a variety of things donnie wouldn’t mind doing at night, he’s kind of an all cards type of guy when it comes to it since the vibes of night just suit his needs perfect

Watching movies in his room or at the cinema Listening to music Reading Cuddling and kissing Other.. not so safe for work stuff.. Night walks and star gazing

Donnie loves any time he can spend with you really, he’s not in a rush to go to sleep so he’ll stay up all night with you if that’s what you want.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Donnie is not one too get easily angered, with you that is. Normally he’s very easily riled up about how the world is cruel and everyone in it sucks. But with you he has an unbelievable amount of patience, he’ll retort with sarcasm but is a natural problem solver and is always ready to talk it out.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Donnie comes off as absent minded, but he will remember every single little detail about you. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had a little notebook or journal filled with information about you and your likes, dislikes, random facts and etc.

Donnie’s the type of person to know and remember facts about you that you’ve long forgotten, he’ll buy you a t-shirt of a band that you mentioned liking three years ago and haven’t said anything about since.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Donnie is definitely a protective boyfriend, it comes from his paranoid outlook on the world. He would never forgive himself if you got hurt and he wasn’t there to protect you.

Although he isn’t a bodybuilder or anything he’ll speak up for you and maybe even resort to a little violence. (or if he’s feeling really crazy he’ll pull a gun out like in the movie)

As for you protecting him.. he’d appreciate you standing up for him but insist he doesn’t need it, if anything it’d make him a little embarrassed.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Donnie would definitely put effort into you, the fact that you’re with him in the first place amazes him and he doesn’t plan on losing you to laziness.

Most dates will be casual, if he feels like he wants to treat you to something nicer he’ll work hard for it. His love language is primarily physical touch and gift giving imo, so when he works he has a tendency to work just so he can provide for you since he has such simple needs himself.

As for everyday tasks, he believes in equality surrounding that type of thing. But if he notices you’re in a poor mood or feeling sad he’ll put in the effort to make sure you don’t need to strain yourself.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

The most obvious one here is his fluctuating and poor mental health, mental illness isn’t pretty. There’ll be times where he needs you at his lowest and he might push you away during it. That’s when you need to be there for him the most.

He also tends to be absent minded with your feelings, he might say or do something that makes you upset and not realise until you say something about it. This isn’t personal, he’s just very straightforward.

He’s definitely a little possessive too, not to the point where you’re unsafe but he’s terrified of losing you.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

This one is an interesting case.

He isn’t really worried with his looks but definitely has abit of a freak complex due to his illness and unpopularity at school, he’ll appreciate when you compliment him. he needs it.

He might ask you what he can do to be more attractive, or if you’re really into him, the answer is obviously yes but he really could do with an ego boost.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Donnie isn’t interested in superficial people, if you can’t have an interesting discussion with him he’ll be turned off immediately. He also enjoys someone who’s at least somewhat reliable, you can have your own issues and mental illness but at the end of the day if you’re a complete mess in all areas he may just end up feeling like he can’t give you what you need.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Besides the obvious sleep walking, donnie is a heavy sleeper. He doesn’t snore or anything but he definitely mumbles and grumbles throughout the night, he also will unconsciously hug and cuddle you for warmth.

Donnie may also experience frequent nightmares, if he wakes up from a really bad one he might wake you up for comfort

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Annnnnd finished! i hope you guys enjoyed. If anyone is interested in an NSFW version please head to my ask box!

partially proof read ;9

[dross-the-fish]

A follower tagged me on a post that was talking about how Edward isn't actually a bad guy but rather he's misunderstood and I'm not going to reply to that post because I don't want to start drama on someone else's blog but I've seen the sentiment brought up a few times so I'm going to make a blanket post about the topic rather than single anyone out. The post I was tagged in mentions the trampling of the child and seems to frame it like an accident so I'll start there and I'll let Henry himself tell you how he views that incident. "An act of cruelty to a child aroused against me the anger of a passer by," He outright says it, it's an act of cruelty. He doesn't deny that. And that's what I hate about fanon Hyde. A lot of interps seem to forget that Hyde is a middle aged man struggling with a repressed sadistic streak and not a social awkward teenager. I think the most concrete evidence we have of Jekyll/Hyde's nature is in Jekyll's letter and how he describes himself and his relationship to Hyde. “To cast in my lot with Jekyll, was to die to those appetites which I had long secretly indulged and had of late begun to pamper. To cast it in with Hyde, was to die to a thousand interests and aspirations, and to become, at a blow and forever, despised and friendless. The bargain might appear unequal; but there was still another consideration in the scales; for while Jekyll would suffer smartingly in the fires of abstinence, Hyde would be not even conscious of all that he had lost.” As afraid as he is of losing the life he's built for himself there's so much LONGING to be Hyde despite the evils Hyde has done. He wants to indulge in his appetites and he knows if he embraces Edward he won't even grieve his losses. I find it interesting that he notes that becoming Edward would cost him his "aspirations and interests," because he would be losing everything to his vice, choosing pleasure and indulgence over his own goals and ambitions. "If I am the chief of sinners, I am the chief of sufferers also," Henry Jekyll is a complex and repressed but also very selfish man and here's where the interpretation of Edward as a metaphor for addiction comes most strongly into play. Jekyll shows textbook signs of a drug user: experimentation, denial or minimization of the harmful effects, attempts to quit, withdrawal when he goes too long without being Edward and eventually he develops a dependency and falls into a spiral. The fact that he's taking a potion just drives the imagery that much harder. Even the description of the effects of the potion itself mirror drug use. "something indescribably new and, from its very novelty, incredibly sweet. I felt younger, lighter, happier in body ; within I was conscious of a heady recklessness, a current of disordered sensual images running like a mill race in my fancy, a solution of the bonds of obligation, an unknown but not an innocent freedom of the soul. I knew myself, at the first breath of this new life, to be more wicked, tenfold more wicked" It's agony at first but once the "high" hits and he becomes Edward he feels good and his inhibitions are gone. He can indulge every depraved and twisted act his heart desires without having to take the hit to his reputation or the responsibility. “since then I had been obliged on more than one occasion to double, and once, with infinite risk of death, to treble the amount” - Jekyll risks an overdose because he keeps taking more of the serum. This illustrates his dependency on Hyde and his inability to quit. One thing I've noticed about Hyde interps that favor the lighter, softer, readings of the character is that they almost always neglect the characterization of Henry Jekyll. Either depicting Jekyll as the good half or all but erasing them from their fanon version of Hyde and that's something you can't really do because it misses the point of Jekyll and Hyde. Which is about Henry Jekyll and his repression and his eventual turn to a destructive outlet.

"The pleasures which I made haste to seek in my disguise were, as I have said, undignified; I would scarce use a harder term. But in the hands of Edward Hyde, they soon began to turn towards the monstrous. When I would come back from these excursions, I was often plunged into a kind of wonder at my vicarious depravity. This familiar that I called out of my own soul, and sent forth alone to do his good pleasure, was a being inherently malign and villainous; his every act and thought centered on self; drinking pleasure with bestial avidity from any degree of torture to another, relentless like a man of stone. Henry Jekyll stood at times aghast before the acts of Edward Hyde." once the leash is off Jekyll is shocked by what he's capable of, what Hyde is capable of. The words used by Stevenson paint a lurid picture, Depravity, bestial, torture, villainous. He can't outright say what Hyde is doing but it's pretty clear he has a sadistic streak. He also lets slip at one point by using "My" instead of referring to Edward as separate. "My vicarious depravity." He's aware, he is complicit and he enjoys himself. You cannot separate Jekyll from Hyde therefore any interpretation of Hyde as being soft, innocent, unaware or merely mischievous is not only incorrect but it directly contradicts the purpose of the story and strips Jekyll of his complexity. If you can't like this character as he is written then you don't like this character. There are some things you can leave up to interpretation but Hyde's sadism and Jekyll's addiction to Hyde are both very clear cut and Jekyll's confession spells everything out in a way that you'd have to reach pretty far to claim that Edward is being misrepresented by Utterson throughout the bulk of the novel.

[yanderes-galore]

I’d like to see some yandere romantic concept for Finn from Adventure Time please! I love him so much I need something for him! 😍

I haven't finished Adventure Time yet... so if anything is wrong, my bad, I was trying to focus on behavior more than plot. Hopefully it's still faithful :(?

❗️Warning for possible Adventure Time Spoilers❗️

Yandere! Finn Mertens/ The Human Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Overprotective behavior, Jealousy/Possessive behavior, Stalking, Clingy behavior, Violence, Blood, Murder, Delusional behavior, Fear of loss, Trauma, Kidnapping, Dubious/Forced relationship.

Alright, looking into Finn's character, he certainly isn't the most dangerous yandere.

It's said in the show that Finn is pure of heart and struggles to do anything bad.

He can't seem to lie and only ever wants to help people.

In fact, he can't seem to bring himself to not help people.

He's a hero through and through.

So, when it comes to his obsession, he wants nothing more than to be your hero.

We've seen how Finn deals with crushes when he's younger.

He's socially awkward and always seems desperate to be in a relationship?

He was like this with PB and FP.

He'd chase them around, get overly excited...

He isn't the best with relationships... but he has some experience.

For better or for worse considering how his love life goes.

I will admit Finn does get better with relationships later on, even if he can't seem to keep one.

So, while he isn't too obsessive at first... imagine if he falls into old habits around you?

He's older now and still yearns for companionship.

When around you, he's naturally sweet.

He's learned to keep his feelings in check due to what's happened since he was young.

Yet even when he tries to hide his growing romantic feelings while hanging around you, maybe even adventuring with you...

He struggles, his cheeks flushing when you do something or are too close.

Part of me thinks Finn still handles his romantic emotions similarly to how he did in the past...

Although he's also just waiting for the world to tear away someone else he loves once he drops his guard.

I'd consider Finn a moderate or slow yandere to get attached to his obsession.

When he was younger, he'd be fast to have a crush.

He'd practically chase crushes down, actually.

Nowadays he's cautious to get attached since he's been through so much and lost so many.

Even Jake depending on where you want this concept to take place.

So... safe to say he may have you as a companion for a long time... but struggle with a confession.

I imagine Finn at first tries to bottle up his crush on you.

But soon it leaks more into his actions.

It's things like being more affectionate, wanting to impress you with stories or adventures, showing you favorite spots....

You can tell the man is fond of you, yet when you press...

He denies it.

It's like he's scared to give his heart away again.

Although, despite his hesitancy... Finn finds himself still wanting to stay close to you.

He still wants to be your hero.

Wouldn't it be ironic if the harder Finn tries to repress his crush... the worse it gets?

He finds himself needing to get closer to you, so...

He ends up following you around.

Every friendly hug goes longer than it should as he uses them to satiate his yearning for companionship.

Perhaps he even keeps a journal about you, trying to find ways to cope with his crush that doesn't involve admitting it...

Which, of course, just leads to a worse obsession.

Perhaps even just as bad or worse as when he was younger.

It doesn't help that he's better at stealth now.

Finn does seem like a jealous type.

He tries to ignore it... yet he hates seeing you get along with someone else.

If he doesn't do something, he worries he'll lose you to another.

Finn is primarily protective, but I can see him being possessive if he keeps trying to suffocate his love for you.

The longer he ignores it... The worse it gets.

I can't tell if Finn would kill out of jealousy, though.

He's a hero at heart and seems incapable of even manipulation.

The only way I can see him slaying anyone is if you were in danger, even them he aims to maim more than anything.

So unless he became delusional enough to think killing someone would protect you... He's rather tame.

... let's say Finn is a delusional yandere.

He's obsessed with the idea of being your hero.

He wants to be your hero... your love....

His attempts to not admit that just make him insane.

Soon, Finn isn't going to be able to deny it anymore.

Finn's obsession over you would build and build and build...

Until it explodes in your face.

You'd probably find out about Finn's obsession all at once, he can't lie for the life of him.

He's sobbing at your feet, sword and clothes covered in blood as he confesses.

He loves you... but it's nowhere close to normal.

He follows you around, threatens others around you, attacks others over you, steals from you as much as it hurts...

It's confession after confession...

All of which stun you into silence as you watch the hero unravel, showing the depravity he's cultivated over you.

There's a good chance Finn will lose you after this... he understands.

He's a creep towards you.

Although, as this was the very thing he was trying to avoid by not confessing, he can't handle losing you.

In a fit of delusional madness, I can see Finn snapping and kidnapping you.

He promises to protect you... to love you.

He wants this relationship to go better than his previous crushes.

Which obviously doesn't work... as he's so delusional he thinks kidnapping will prevent you from leaving and make you love him.

Maybe with time... but that's just Stockholm syndrome.

Now, if Finn and you had a proper relationship in the start, I can see him being different.

Maybe you confess, forcing Finn to accept his feelings.

Once again he struggles to confess... yet he wants you happy.

Since in this scenario you two would already be together, making him more tame.

He can still be as bad as before... but not as fast.

He doesn't need to hide anything from you, after all.

He's affectionate yet a bit shy, even with kisses and hugs.

He's older so it's not like he finds it disgusting.

He just... is scared you'll leave him.

If he feels you will, even if you aren't trying to, he may snap and kidnap you like before.

He clings to you when others talk to you... he's aggressive when monsters target you...

Even when he's covered in blood, of the innocent or not...

He gives you a smile, claiming he'll always be your hero.

Even when you're stuck in isolation at his hand in his home, he claims he's your hero.

He's affectionate and cuddly, peppering you in kisses and never letting you go.

If you try to leave, he locks the doors, even trying to sneak a ball and chain on you.

He doesn't plan on having his fantasies shattered.

Even if you try to appeal to his humanity, to tell him this isn't right...

He doesn't budge.

You're meant to be his... It has to be fate...

Nothing will take you from him... You'll always be his.

He won't let anyone near you... Finn would probably even throw hands with Death again if it meant keeping you.

Safe to say, all the trauma Finn has gone through hasn't helped.

Like any hero, his emotional baggage seems too great.

He's paranoid, delusional, and addicted to your companionship.

He's going to make sure he never loses you... just like the rest...

Even if it means defying fate and nature... just to feel loved.

[gravity-between-us]

Gravity Between Us

Chapter 13: Cosmic Entanglement

Summary: Caleb and I have known each other for as long as I can remember. We were once childhood friends, our bond as natural as the stars in the sky. But now, everything has changed. What used to feel like a safe, familiar orbit between us now pulses with unspoken desire.

Our friendship is no longer enough to keep the tension at bay, and the distance between us feels unbearable. Secrets, lies, and unhealed wounds stand in our way. I don’t know if we can survive this new gravity pulling us together... but I can’t keep pretending I don’t want to try.

Pairing: Female! MC x Caleb

Spoilers: Spoilers for Caleb's Myth's as well as memories. Read at your own risk for these. Lore spoilers.

WARNINGS:

Unlikely to be completely canon. The other love interests will not be likely to appear in this fic.

MC is named. MC is socially awkward. MC can be depressed at times.

Very? Slow Burn.

Very explicit smut (Chapter 12 onward): PiV/oral (male and female receiving)/anal sex. Fingering. First time. Pet names (angel, babe, baby, pip-squeak). Kinks: Praise, breeding, creampie, light dom/sub. Rough. Some consensual degradation talk (MC is into it). Probably many, many more that I am forgetting to name. If you see one that should be listed that isn't, feel free to let me know. (MC is a repressed deviant, and so is Caleb.)

Awkward blend of darker moments, angst, fluff, and humour.

Drinking. Questionable life decisions. MC spirals.

Protective Caleb. Both MC and Caleb are a little obsessive and overly protective of each other, which could be considered an unhealthy relationship.

We will revisit memory scenes, but they will be different from the memories in-game.

As proofread as I can get it, but not beta read, so probably some mistakes.

Limited plot - most focus is just on their relationship and interactions.

More warnings could be applied, but as a general rule of thumb, please read at your own risk and do not continue if you find the content triggering.

So, moving my stuff into Caleb’s room is… a fiasco. It starts off sweet enough. He’s helping me fold clothes, and I’m pretending not to be embarrassed that I own an unreasonable amount of graphic T-shirts featuring everything from retro space travel posters to one that says I Need Space with a cartoon astronaut floating in the void.

He picks it up, holds it against his chest, and gives me a deadpan, “You could’ve just said so.”

“Give me that.” I snatch it back and shove it into the drawer before he can try it on and ruin it forever by somehow looking better in it than I do.

Half of the closet has already been cleared for me, and I go to hang up my clothes. Which is fine until a bra falls out of the pile and lands—hook side up—on his head.

He freezes. I freeze. We stare at each other. Then, with the utmost solemnity, he simpers, “Is this a gift? It’s a nice colour. Very ‘galactic maiden on the brink of battle.’”

“Stop talking,” I grumble.

But, by far the worst is when I try to casually tuck a small box of my… let’s call them, adult-ish items into the nightstand.

“What’s in the box?”

Caleb’s voice is light, amused, too curious for anyone’s good. He nods toward the little box I’m very obviously cradling behind my back like it’s the last remnants of a lost civilization.

“Nothing! There’s—there’s nothing to see here. Regular human things.”

His brows lift with that maddening smirk I’ve come to both love and fear. “Regular human things, you say?”

“Yep.” I force a smile that’s tight with panic. “Super boring. In fact, you’d be asleep before you even opened the lid.”

He takes a measured step closer. “You’re a terrible liar, pip-squeak.”

“I’m not lying! There’s no reason to investigate any further.” I sidestep, bump into the bed, nearly trip, and end up doing what can only be described as a slow-motion pirouette of doom to keep the box from tumbling out of my hands. “It’s just… supplies. Emergency preparedness. Safety tools.”

“For the apocalypse?”

“Sure,” I nod. “Of the personal variety.”

He cocks his head, clearly enjoying every second of this. “What kind of personal apocalypse are we talkin’ about, exactly?”

“I said nothing!”

He’s laughing with full-blown delight sparking in his eyes. “C’mon,” he coaxes. “Let me see.”

“Caleb, I swear to the stars—”

Too late. He reaches for the box playfully, and I jerk it back with a bit too much enthusiasm. The lid pops open.

And then—

Bzzzzzzzzzzt.

A loud, unmistakable whirring fills the room as something pink and deeply incriminating rolls out and makes a break for it like it’s late for a meeting.

Caleb blinks. “Is that—”

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT IS,” I shout, bending hastily to pick it up.

Bad idea. Another item drops out and rattles against the floor. Then another. It’s a full-on jailbreak now, and I want to scream.

“This is my villain origin story. This is how I become the stuff of cautionary tales.” I attest, covering my face as Caleb calmly crouches to collect the rogue devices.

He picks up the pink one, turns it over in his hand thoughtfully, and purrs with unbearable calm, “Expanding the arsenal, are we?”

I might actually never recover. 

Capturing the vibrating pink offender from his hand—along with the rest of its rebellious little companions, I stuff them unceremoniously back into the box like I’m personally banishing them to hell. The lid barely closes before I shove it into the bottom drawer of my nightstand and slam it shut with enough force to rattle the lamp.

He gives me that wicked little smirk and glances at the nightstand where my dignity is now sealed and buried. “You know, with a few adjustments, I could probably get your little friends to vibrate with more vigour. Give them a proper power source. Maybe slap on some jet propulsion—”

I punch him in the arm. Hard. Not playfully. Not softly. My knuckles thud against his perfectly sculpted bicep with satisfying force.

He doubles over laughing. “Ow,” he wheezes. “Okay, okay, I deserved that.”

“You’re the worst!” I snap, but I’m already laughing, too—even if my face is still on fire. “Do you ever stop talking?”

“Not when I’m this entertained,” he grins, straightening. “Seriously, though. That pink one? We could be lookin’ at Mach 1 if I reroute—”

“Caleb!”

He laughs even harder, and I flop backwards on the bed in defeat, covering my face with both hands. Maybe if I lie here long enough, the floor will open up and swallow me whole. Or at least knock me unconscious long enough to forget the phrase “jet propulsion” being used in this context.

He crawls onto the bed, and his fingers brush my hips as he moves over me. His lips press a kiss just below my navel, then higher, and again, each one warmer than the last. My breath hitches as he continues upward, lazy kisses trailing over my ribs, the middle of my chest, my collarbone.

When he reaches my face, he peppers me with quick, silly little kisses—one on my chin, one on the tip of my nose, my forehead, and cheeks. I squirm under him, laughing despite the furnace of embarrassment still burning in my chest.

“Caleb!” I half-hiss, half-giggle. “Stop—I’m trying to drop dead of fatal humiliation over here!”

He leans back just enough to look at me, his weight settling into his forearms on either side of me. “You know I’m not gonna let you die. Especially not when you’re bein’ this adorable.”

My face scrunches, but his eyes soften, and so does my heart.

“You really think I’d ever make fun of you for that?” He asks, brushing a knuckle down the side of my jaw. “Never. I treasure every weird, awkward, brilliant part of you,” he whispers. “Even the part that stores secret vibrating robots in a box.”

“Stop mentioning them!”

He laughs into my neck, but his arms tighten around me, and I can feel the truth of it in the way he holds me—like I’m precious, even in all my deeply mortifying glory.

I watch Caleb pace back and forth on the terrace, one hand rubbing his forehead, the other gesturing furiously as he speaks to whoever’s on the other end of the call.

It was the Fleet. I knew it the moment he looked down at his phone during dinner, muttered a quiet apology, and stepped outside. 

I turn my attention back to the half-eaten dinner plate, poking at it with my fork like that’ll somehow make time move faster. When he finally returns, his expression is carefully neutral, but it’s too polished.

“Everything okay?” I ask, standing from the table.

“Yes,” he intones level and clipped. “Everything’s fine. There are some reports I have to review.”

My brows lift slightly, but I nod. “Okay.”

“I’ll be in the office if you need me.” 

He finally looks at me then, but the warmth he usually carries is hidden beneath eyes the colour of bruised violets under glass, shot through with cracks like frozen lightning. They are gorgeous in the way winter is gorgeous and deadly in the same breath.

He nods once and strides away without another word, disappearing into the dim hallway. The soft click of the office door latching shut follows a few seconds later. 

Just like that, I’m alone with a table full of food and a pit growing steadily in my stomach.

I clean up the kitchen, rinsing plates and stacking them into the dishwasher. As I rinse the last glass and set it in the rack, I catch my reflection in the window above the sink. 

My face looks tired—drawn in a way that has nothing to do with physical exhaustion. I dry my hands and lean against the counter, listening to the quiet hum of the dishwasher and, somewhere down the hall, the faint sound of Caleb’s fingers tapping on his keyboard.

I know him better than he sometimes knows himself. I recall what his laugh used to sound like—light, unrestrained, almost boyish. I remember how his eyes used to shine after a flight, adrenaline and sunlight caught in the violet of his irises. How his friends used to call him by name, not rank.

He was happy then.

Being a fighter pilot was his dream. The kind of dream you don’t just outgrow. The kind you live for. And now? Now he wears that title—colonel—like it weighs twice as much as it should.

He doesn’t laugh the same anymore. Not unless I pry it out of him with terrible jokes or whispered insults meant to make him roll his eyes. Even then, it’s tired around the edges.

Sometimes, when I look at him, I still see the same face—the strong jaw, the steady eyes that once made me feel like the world couldn’t shake beneath my feet. But now, there’s something else behind them. A quiet erosion. Like he’s been weathered by politics, bureaucracy, and battles he was never meant to fight.

I don’t know how to help him. That’s the part that hurts the most.

I press my hand to my chest, trying to rub away the ache that’s settled there, but it doesn’t budge. Just pulses in rhythm with the quiet guilt and helplessness building in my throat.

I curl up in bed with a book, one of my usual comforts when the world feels a little too loud. Tonight, the words seem to slide off the page like water. I read the same paragraph four times and still have no idea what it says. 

My thoughts are too tangled, and I’m done waiting around for pieces to fall into my lap. I set the book down, grab my phone, and shoot off a text to Tara.

Inara: Hey. Random question. Does the DAA have to report missing pilots?

Tara: Not to the public. They’re required to keep meticulous incident logs. Aircraft malfunctions, disappearances, recovery attempts—all of it.

Inara: Are those records public?

Tara: Nah. Most of it’s classified or locked behind DAA security clearance. Even family members usually get redacted versions.

Inara: Shit. Okay. Thanks! 

Tara: I might be able to help tho. Depends on what you’re digging for. Want to come over to my place Monday after work?

My fingers hover over the screen for a second before I type back.

Inara: Yes. Please. I owe you.

Tara: You always do. ;)

I delete the conversation before tossing the phone on the nightstand and try to focus on my book again. Eventually, the ache behind my eyes wins, and I drift off, wrapped in a too-thin blanket and thoughts too heavy to sleep through.

Thunder wakes me. A vicious crack splits the sky, rattling the windows, and my eyes snap open. The room is briefly flooded in an eerie wan glow as lightning streaks, illuminating the walls in stark, jagged shadows.

Living in Skyhaven means you’re closer to the stars, the clouds… and the storms. When they come, they do not tiptoe in on clouds—they tear the sky asunder. Lightning doesn’t flash; it detonates, slicing the heavens like a mirror shattering under divine pressure.

It’s the kind of spectacle that makes you wonder if the sky is grieving or simply tired of holding itself together.

I’ve never liked storms. There’s a kind of helplessness to thunder—how it booms and bellows and shakes everything inside you without permission.

Another thunderclap causes me to flinch. The sound punches straight through my ribs.

And suddenly—I am not in my bed. There’s screaming in my ears. A boy across the glass—his eyes empty, body twitching.

Caleb.

Machines whirring. Metal flying. A surge of racing up my spine, blooming like fire behind my eyes. There is panic. Cold. Pain.

And then—

The bedroom again. The shadowed ceiling. Rain tap-tap-taps at the windows. My chest heaves. My shirt sticks to my skin with sweat I don’t remember sweating. My fingers ache like they’ve just punched something that did not give way.

I blink hard, trying to force the images back into the dark corners they crawled out of.

What the hell was that? It wasn’t a dream. It felt like a thread from another life, tugged loose in the dark. Woven into marrow, pressed beneath years of silence, a story half-erased and rewritten too many times.

I rub my hands against my arms, trying to temper the shake in them. The storm hasn’t passed. It rolls on, louder than before, like it’s trying to dig more out of me.

The clock on my nightstand glows in quiet judgment. 

2:57 a.m.

When I reach across the bed, searching for Caleb, the space beside me is empty. 

My legs still tremble when I throw the blankets off and swing my legs over the side of the bed. I pad down the corridor to Caleb’s office and stop in front of the door, knuckles grazing the surface in a soft knock.

No answer. I hesitate for half a second, then push the door open and step inside.

The light from the hologram spills in ripples across the room, casting violet and indigo silhouettes on the walls. Data strings drift mid-air, flickering code and orbital paths looping endlessly.

At the desk, Caleb is slumped forward, arms folded on the desk like he passed out mid-thought. His hair is a mess, his brow furrowed even in sleep. A half-empty cup of coffee sits precariously close to his elbow, gone cold long ago.

He twitches, and a small, broken sound escapes his throat. “No… you can’t take her…”

His brows tighten further. Fingers curl. His breathing quickens.

“Don’t go… please—stop…” His voice is raw, hoarse, like he’s trying to scream through water.

“Caleb…” I gently brush his hair back from his forehead.

He looks younger like this—softer around the edges, even in his distress. Vulnerable in a way Caleb never lets himself be when he’s awake.

His eyes snap open. In a flash, his hand shoots up and catches mine. Trembling fingers wrap around my wrist like he’s afraid I’ll vanish.

“Let’s run away,” he breathes, the words ragged and uneven.

His eyes are wide and glassy, pupils too big. He’s still caught in the liminal half-dream state where reality hasn’t quite settled. His voice carries a kind of desperation I’ve rarely heard.

Caleb’s never run from anything in his life. Yet, it doesn’t feel like the first time he’s said those words.

“Hey…” I whisper, my voice catching in my throat.

I free my hand gently from his grip and cup his face instead. His skin is warm under my palm. My thumb brushes across his cheek, a kind of tether to keep him grounded. 

His lashes flutter. Confusion knits briefly between his brows before his eyes clear and land on me. He blinks, sluggish and bleary.

“Inara…” Sleep clings to the edges of his voice. He exhales unevenly, like he’s still climbing out of the pit he was just in.

“I—sorry,” he mutters, sitting up a bit. “I didn’t mean to—are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” I reassure, my voice soft as I tug him gently. “Come to bed.”

His attention drifts to the holographic display still hovering lazily in the air, casting a dim glow across his features. Before he can say anything, thunder cracks so loudly the walls shudder.

Caleb is up in an instant, drawing me into him. I don’t have time to brace for the storm before one of my ears is pressed against his chest. His hand gently covers the other.

“Osiris, close the shutters,” he commands smoothly. 

I hear the hum of the house’s AI as the shutters roll down. The sound of the storm muffles instantly.

“Better?” He murmurs, his lips brushing against the top of my head.

I nod, not trusting my voice just yet. His arms cocoon me, and I let him lead me to the bed. He pulls me close, pressing my back to his chest. The storm continues to rage outside, but inside, it’s just the two of us, tangled in the sheets.

I wake up to the sound of rain tapping against the shutters. With them still down, the room is shrouded in a night-like darkness, the kind that makes it feel like the world outside has disappeared. 

The only light in the room is from a crack where the bathroom door is slightly ajar, and the soft glow from the shower stream spills across the floor.

For a moment, I think about rolling back into the warmth of the bed and just going back to sleep. But then I notice the faintest sound coming from the bathroom—the rush of water, Caleb in the shower. 

My mind teases me with the idea of just peeking in. I try to shake it off. I mean, this is kind of creepy, right? It lodges itself in my brain, like the kind of foolish conceptualization you can’t unthink. 

It’s like being a kid again, peeking through a crack in the door, wondering what everyone’s hiding from you.

The steam curls around the bathroom door like some kind of temptation I can’t resist as I slip out of bed. 

This is such a stupid idea, but you know that kind of stupid that’s also kind of fun, like eating an entire pizza in one sitting even though you know you’ll regret it?

My feet move before I can even talk myself out of it, and honestly, I’m already halfway to the door when I realize I’m in way too deep.

What the hell am I doing?

My mind leaps and does a glorious cannonball straight into the gutter. It’s like a reflex at this point. I envision the water running down his chest, droplets clinging to his skin in a way that’s entirely too distracting for my own good. Is he enjoying it? Is he flexing like some kind of damn soap commercial model?

Okay, I’m literally losing my mind. I have to stop.

I attempt to focus on the mundane, but it’s really hard when my brain decides to take a violent left turn and starts picturing all kinds of highly inappropriate scenarios. Could he be touching himself? What do I do if he is? Do I leave? Watch? 

… Offer to lend a hand?

My hand’s on the door handle before I can even process it. I crack the door open just a little so I can peer around the edge.

Of course, the mirror’s completely fogged up, leaving nothing but a blurry haze. I stare at it for a second, hoping that maybe the steam will clear up and I’ll get to see some miraculous, totally unintentional reveal. But nope. I just see a vague outline of Caleb moving around, looking like… well, like someone in a shower.

It’s… vexing, really. All this build-up for nothing. I can’t even tell if he’s doing anything interesting in there. I stand there, just staring at the mirror like some kind of amateur peeping Tom.

Screw it. I’m going to get into the shower with him. I quickly undress, trying to think of ways to make this whole thing not weird. 

Maybe I can sneak up behind him, wrap my arms around his waist, and just surprise him—a sexy, playful surprise. 

Yeah, that’s the vibe. The steamy, sensual vibe.

With newfound determination, I tiptoe inside, but then, of course, the bathmat decides it’s going to be my new worst enemy, slipping out from under my foot like a little jerk. I trip forward, arms flailing, and I have to catch myself on the glass wall of the shower to avoid doing a very elegant face-plant onto the tile. 

I swear I feel my heart sprint out of my chest as Caleb jumps, spinning around so quickly I feel the air shift with the force of it.

“Shit!” I squeak, and for some reason, I instinctively move to cover my naked form.

We just stand there for an awkward moment, staring at each other. Caleb’s wide-eyed and still dripping wet, soap suds clinging to his hair.

He breaks into laughter, shaking his head. Before I even know what’s happening, he opens the shower door and tugs me in with him.

“God, you’re ridiculous,” he giggles, boyish and silvery, pressing a kiss to my forehead.

“Your bathmat tried to kill me,” I snort, my lips curling into a small smirk.

He looks down at the bathmat with mock suspicion, then raises an eyebrow at me. “Oh? I guess that explains your dramatic entrance.”

I roll my eyes but can’t help laughing. “Next time, I’ll bring a helmet.”

“I’ll make sure to file a safety report on that bathmat,” he chuckles, but still uses that authoritative timbre.

Before I can think too much about it, he’s lathering up the soap in his hands, and without a second thought, he begins to gently rub it over my shoulders. The feel of his hands on my skin sends a jolt of excitement skittering through my veins.

Gently, he pulls me closer until our bodies are pressed together. He tilts my chin up with his fingers, his eyes locking with mine. My lips part slightly, and his mouth is on mine.

His lips are gentle at first, then urgent, pulling at mine with a hunger I can’t deny. The water runs over us, the steam swirling around us like a veil, but we’re lost in each other. His touch is explorative, like a quiet river carving through a canyon, discovering every hidden curve and delicate hollow.

Caleb’s mouth moves from my lips to my jaw, trailing kisses down my neck as his hands cup my breasts, his thumbs brushing over my nipples. His teeth trace my collarbone, each brush leaving a lingering, molten warmth that melts down my spine.

One of his hands slides down my stomach, his fingers dipping between my thighs, finding my clit. 

He rubs steady, deliberate circles, and my hips buck against his hand. I muffle my repeated curses against his shoulder, spreading my legs further.

It feels like my body no longer belongs to me. He’s rewritten the laws of gravity, and I’m irrecoverably caught in his orbit. There’s only sensation—pure, overwhelming, dizzying bliss that coils low and spreads like light through a prism.

"Fuck, angel," he groans, the gravel in his voice burns with a heat that makes each word feel like a caress, urgent and aching. "I need to taste you."

Before I can respond, he’s dropping to his knees, the water sluicing over his broad shoulders. He lifts one of my legs over his shoulder, kissing a torturous path up my thigh until he reaches my aching core.

A shuddering moan escapes my lips as his mouth finally makes contact. His tongue parts my folds, dragging up the length of my slit in one long, slow lick.

I have never felt anything like it. The hot slide against my bud strikes like a surging wave of sensation; the edges of my vision blur into a constellation of sparking bliss.

My head falls back against the tile with a soft thud. I think I might fucking faint. My knees shudder, and I press my back further into the wall to keep myself upright. I want to drown in him, like the way waves surrender to the shore. Again. And again. And again.

Caleb laps at me with the reverence of a dying man granted one final taste of heaven. His fingers part my pussy, holding me open for his hungry mouth as he fucks me with his tongue.

"Oh god, Caleb, yes," I whimper, my fingers tangling in his wet hair, holding him against me.

The hot coil of pleasure builds rapidly, my hips rocking shamelessly against his face. He groans against my cunt, the vibrations sending shockwaves rippling outward, like the first tremor of an earthquake shuddering through my bones.

I'm panting now, my thighs trembling, my nipples aching as the warm water cascades over my sensitized skin.

"You taste so fucking good.” Caleb’s heavily lidded eyes gaze up at me, all dawn fire and endless night playing together infinitely in his irises. He takes my labia between his mouth, tugging gently and sucking. "I could eat this sweet pussy all day.”

His tongue thrusts into me again, lapping at my entrance before swirling around my engorged pearl. The pressure builds, my hips grinding against his face as I chase the mounting euphoric high.

"Don't stop, fuck, right there.” I mewl an octave too high and breathy.

He pulls back to suck my clit between his lips, the point of his tongue flicking rapidly over the bundled nerves. Two thick fingers press into me, curling to rub against that perfect spot inside me.

The pleasure is an exquisite agony that has me teetering on a knife's edge. Every movement winds tighter, coils heat at the base of my spine. I swear he knows exactly how to unravel me—slow, purposeful, like he’s savouring every breathless sound I make.

“Cum for me, angel," he instructs roughly, almost savagely, drenched in the kind of hunger that pulls at every syllable.

A choked cry tears from my throat as my orgasm stampedes over me, my body convulsing with the force of it. I drown in the crescendo, each swell of sensation more exquisite than the last. My thighs clamp around his head as I shatter apart, colours bursting behind my eyelids like fireworks.

Caleb gentles his touch, lapping at my folds, cleaning up every last drop of my release before pressing a tender kiss to my throbbing bud. He slides his fingers out of me, and I whimper at the loss, feeling empty and aching for more.

"You're so beautiful when you cum," he rasps, rising to his feet.

His cock juts out proudly, thick and hard and flushed an angry red at the tip. I reach for him, desperate to feel his velvety heat in my hand, but he captures my wrist, pinning it above my head as he steps in close.

"Wrap your legs around me."

In one smooth motion, he lifts me up, his hands gripping my ass as he pins me against the cool tile. I do as he says, locking my ankles at the small of his back.

The broad head of his cock notches at my entrance, and with a gentle rock of his hips, he's pushing inside, stretching me open, filling me completely. I cry out at the exquisite burn, my nails digging into his shoulders, raking down his back. 

He stills, letting me adjust to the incredible fullness of him. Then he begins to move, pulling out almost entirely before slamming back in, the wet slap of skin on skin echoing obscenely in the steamy confines of the shower.

The slick slide of his thick length against my inner walls is maddening, each drag of his cock hitting that perfect spot that has me shaking and gasping his name like a prayer. His pubic bone grinds deliciously against my clit with every thrust, the dual stimulation rocketing me towards another peak.

"Fuck, you take my cock so well," he praises, driving into me again and again, spearing me on his girth. "Your sweet little cunt is gripping me so tight."

We move in sync, desperate and wild, like we’re trying to climb inside each other—like skin isn’t enough of a barrier anymore, like we were never meant to be separate in the first place.

I lose myself, again and again, each time more willingly than the last. As if some ancient part of me always knew this was where I was meant to break—right here, in his hands, under his mouth, within his light and his darkness in equal measure.

Caleb's fingers dig into the globes of my ass as he pounds into me. His fingers dig into my hips, and I want him to leave marks. I want to wear the shape of his desire on my skin, want to feel it ache later and remember exactly how he made me fall apart.

"Touch yourself," Caleb cajoles.

I obey without hesitation, reaching between us to rub my clit in tight, frantic circles, my hips rolling to meet his every thrust.

"That's it, baby," Caleb groans, his voice a guttural rasp, eyes moored to where my fingers dance, and he sheathes himself into my wet heat. ”Rub that pretty little clit for me."

His words send a shiver down my spine, igniting a fire in my veins that threatens to consume me entirely. I'm so close, teetering on the edge of oblivion, my inner walls fluttering around his pistoning length.

"Caleb," I whimper, my voice high and urgent. "I'm so close. Please, don't stop."

"Never," he vows fiercely, punctuating the word with a particularly deep thrust that has reality fracturing. "I'll never stop fucking this perfect cunt.”

With a final twist of my fingers, I'm flying apart. My orgasm hits like a celestial collapse—black holes forming in my chest, stars going supernova in my bones. 

I scream his name as I come undone—a prayer, a plea, a promise unravelling me with every syllable. My walls clamp down around his cock like a velvet vice.

"Fuck, I can feel you coming,” he grits out through clenched teeth. “Do you want me to fill this tight little pussy up with my cum?”

I can only nod frantically, my brain unable to form anything coherent.

“Beg me for it, Inara,” he directs, fingers digging into my ass cheeks. “Beg me to fill you until you’re dripping with my cum.”

I'm so far gone, lost in the haze of pleasure, that my mouth moves of its own accord. "Please, Caleb," I beg shamelessly, my voice cracked and raw. “I want you to fill me until I can’t take any more.”

"Shit," he curses, his hips stuttering as my filthy pleas push him closer to the edge, losing their rhythm. ”I'm gonna cum," he warns, his voice strained.

I clench around him deliberately, urging him to let go. He surges into me one final time before stilling, buried to the hilt as rope after hot rope of his seed paints my inner walls.

I moan at the sensation, my oversensitive pussy fluttering around him, wringing out every last drop. It's filthy and carnal and so utterly perfect that tears prick at the corners of my eyes.

We stay like that for a long moment, tangled up in each other as we try to catch our breath, the shower beating down on us in a steady rhythm.

His softening cock slips from my core, our combined fluids trickling down my trembling thighs. He gently lowers my boneless body to the shower floor, my legs wobbling like a newborn fawn's as I struggle to find my footing.

He cups my face, tilting my chin up to meet his reverent gaze. "I could get used to this," he murmurs, his thumb caressing my cheekbone.

I blush under the intensity of his praise, my heart swelling with an emotion I'm not quite ready to name. "Me too," I admit softly, leaning into his touch. "That was..."

"Earth-shattering? Life-altering? The best sex of your life?" he supplies with a cocky grin, his eyes glinting.

I roll my eyes, swatting at his chest playfully. "Don't let it go to your head, mister. We've still got a lot of exploring to do."

His smile turns heated, his gaze raking over my naked form with unabashed hunger. "Oh, I plan on explorin’ every inch of this gorgeous body.”

Caleb reaches for the body wash, squirting a generous amount into his palm before beginning to lather up my skin. His touch is reverent as he washes me, his hands gliding over every curve and plane. He takes his time, massaging the suds into my skin, worshipping me with his fingers.

When he's finished, I return the favour, my hands roaming over the hard planes of his chest and the rippling muscles of his abdomen. We rinse off under the cooling spray, trading lazy kisses.

Under that comfort, there is an inexplicable ache that sits heavy in my chest, making my breath catch. A part of me can’t shake the nagging sense that we’re running out of time, as though we’re caught in a loop where the ending is already written.

It’s almost like there’s a thread pulling at me, a tug at the edges of my thoughts, a quiet voice whispering that everything we’re building, everything we’re feeling, is just a countdown to something inevitable.

Chapter Masterlist As these chapters and seemingly getting longer, let me know if you would like me to include a word count at the top, or if it doesn't really matter much.

[ckret2]

Weird question, but do you think ford is/was repressed or in denial? Filbrick doesn't seem like a very understanding parent, and I notice throughout all the lavish praise Ford heaps on Bill he stops short of outright saying he has a crush, which I think hints at ford being unaware that he has feelings for Bill because You Only Get That for the Opposite Gender (and assumes a god like bill is way above his league). The "girls will talk to me" quote in particular seems very much like someone trying and failing to fit himself into heteronormative standards and just chalking it up to social awkwardness, and the way he clings to Bill reminds me very much of a first gay relationship, where the fear of being rejected is magnified tenfold by thinking that literally no one else in the world will love you. Sorry, this became a whole essay, I just have so many thoughts about billford and have spent hours combing through gf Tumblr analayzing their relationship.

You're asking me about what I actually think is true so that's the perspective from which I'm starting here.

First, let me say that I think headcanons are like dartboards. There are some "canonest" headcanons—even if they're not confirmed true, they feel like they're at the bullseye at the very center of canon-compatible possibilities, the thing most likely to be true if canon were ever to directly explore it.

And then there are the "this isn't what I think they'd actually do if canon were ever to go there, but based on what we currently know this headcanon is still canon-compatible." These are the headcanons that are on the dartboard but on an outer ring, not a bullseye.

I think the "bullseye" interpretation of Ford's sexuality is that he's aromantic. Possibly ace as well, but this isn't as firm—Ford does talk like he finds the idea of a committed romantic relationship bizarre, but he doesn't talk like he doesn't understand the idea of being attracted to someone, making me think maybe he does feel sexual desire.

And if that's what Ford is, then he didn't say he had a crush on Bill because he didn't. He was obsessed with Bill, he considered Bill the most important person in his life, he respected him and admired him and liked him more than anybody else, he'd rather spend time with him than with anyone else... but, it's a platonic obsession. It's not in any way weaker for being platonic instead of romantic, but it's platonic. Queerplatonic relationship type territory.

He talks about girls talking to him someday because, for lack of any better evidence, he assumes he must be heterosexual because he has no positive proof otherwise, so he figures he probably just hasn't met the right girl, right? And he hasn't met the right girl because he's so unpopular no girls want to talk to him. Once he meets the Right Girl, he assumes he'll Get It then—because that's what a lotta aros (and aces!) think for the longest time before it dawns on them that that's never coming. (It's possible he even has been sexually attracted to women, further obscuring his aromanticism from himself. He did date a siren at one point. But tbh I don't think it's highly likely.)

That's my "bullseye" "canonest" interpretation of Ford's sexuality.

Now, my personal "on the outer ring of the dartboard" headcanon is that Ford's sexuality is, in extremely professional terminology, demiromantic monsterfucker.

He has felt sexual attraction, he is not in denial or repressing his sexual attraction in any way, he's accepted this about himself; however, everything he's been attracted to is, like... Mothra. or Cthulhu. or a weird singing fish-bird, i.e. that siren.

80% of the time he's had sex it's not even motivated by sexual desire but by other platonic motives. If the Hide-Behind ever hit on him, he would eagerly accept just to find out and document what Hide-Behind mating behaviors are like without ever once stopping to think "but am I attracted though?" Like he'll have a fine time, he isn't repulsed, but he's not doing it out of desire.

He does have the potential to fall in love—he has the potential to fall in love with Bill—but again, I headcanon he didn't say he had a crush on Bill because he didn't. It was slowly building over the course of several years. He was like 97% of the way there...

... when Bill revealed his evil plan and started torturing Ford.

So it never quite tipped over.

Thirty years later, Ford's got enough self-insight to realize that even though he wasn't "in love" with Bill, he was 1) very close, and 2) feeling something platonically strong enough that ultimately, that slight difference doesn't really matter.

I can also see him as just not feeling, understanding, or caring about the dividing line between romantic and platonic.

In either version of my headcanons, I don't think Ford was "repressed"/"in denial" about having "gay" feelings. He's got enough issues, I'm not interested in tossing internalized homophobia on top of it—especially when from college onward he's all about celebrating outsiders and weirdness. At most he'd be a case of queer ignorance where he hasn't explored himself enough to figure out what he is.

Tbh I don't think he's any more likely to be attracted to human men than he would be to human women—and if he did fully fall in love with Bill, I don't think Bill, O Wondrous Interdimensional Muse Whose Body Is A Frigging Triangle, would ping Ford as "male" enough for Ford to feel like his own attraction is "gay."

[bonefall]

Not sure if this is the place to ask or if I should go to Bonebabble, but ooh, Dungeon Meshi mention! I love what you said about low-empathy and apathy, I think I’ll use that in ny own characters.

I wanted to ask why you think Shuro is autistic. I’ve seen a lot of people say it so there must be a reason why, but I don’t think it’s really obvious to me? Like with Laios, autism/neurodivergence is so integral to his story, so it’s deeply obvious. I love the way he’s written! But we don’t see a lot of Shuro, so I’d like to hear more of why people see the tism in him.

@bonebabbles is the better place to send these in the future but it's chill! The vibe right now's loose since we're all coming down from the heaviness of Mooncourse lmao

Honestly, I feel a little 'tism in a lot of the cast of Dungeon Meshi. As a very autistic writer myself, it kind of has a vibe like it was written by someone who's autistic and so it gets peppered into all of her characters. It's something I notice a lot in my own art, too.

But like, when it comes to Toshiro... I can't stop thinking about him. He makes me want to chew the furniture. With every passing day I become less normal about him.

glossary because I had a lot of thoughts about Toshiro Dungeon Meshi i guess. Oh my god this got long

He reminds me of some people I know

His culture clash is very relatable to me in an autistic way

He has a rigid commitment to his values and morals

Miscellaneous Autism Moments

THE LAIOS FIGHT

in conclusion

He reminds me of some people I know

He reminds me of certain autistic men I've met from affluent families. The type who both is taught to repress and mask their own traits, yet also not to be incredibly mindful of the emotions of other people. Because of their status, they don't have to learn how to work out interpersonal conflict because the majority of the people around them are servants or family. People who would never go away if they didn't like you.

So, his vassals have to learn to talk to him and how to carry out his orders. Not the other way around. As a result, Toshiro has a bit of unearned confidence about his leadership abilities and communication skills. NOT in a way that is smug, DO NOT misunderstand me; just in a way that overestimates his own judgement. Maybe he has encyclopedic knowledge for talking to other nobles offscreen, but when it came to his own team, he was ignoring a lot of the good advice they gave him about taking breaks.

Yes, Toshiro is from a high-context culture-- but his communication issues are bad with everyone.

ESPECIALLY his vassals, people he calls family, from the same exact culture as him. They're worried about him, most of them are desperate for acknowledgement, they'd do anything for him, and he doesn't address this until AFTER his brawl with Laios!

His culture clash is very relatable to me in an autistic way

Toshiro knew he was going somewhere that was going to be a melting pot of mostly western cultures. He knew the manners were going to be different, and he came alone, not in a group where he was only interacting with his own people.

Yet he NEVER adjusted his own social behavior.

I'm American and my partner is British. When I first went, I had no idea why they were offering me so much tea. I thought I was being polite by following them into the kitchen, thinking they wanted to move the conversation over there. My partner quickly fixed this by explaining that when someone offers you tea, they're taking a short pause in the lull of a conversation to be a good host.

I am autistic. What someone else might have just figured out through getting an awkward look, I had to be told directly. There are a lot of little things like that.

Toshiro feels like what would happen if the opposite was happening, an autistic person from a high-context culture coming to a low-context culture. He can't properly express discomfort. It's not JUST Laios, King of Autism, that he's having issues talking to. Neither Marcille nor Chilchuck know that "Shuro" is a mispronunciation, and they had no clue that he disliked Laios THIS much.

I even think it's kinda telling that Toshiro felt the most comfortable with Falin out of the rest of the party. The hyper-empathetic autistic girl who goes out of her way to accommodate others.

He has a rigid commitment to his values and morals

A strict, uncompromising moral compass is a hallmark of autism. It's everything Toshiro does!!

When Falin was eaten, he bolted off to assemble the best team he could think of. He believes that love is sacrifice, so he pushes his body and his family to the limit to try and prove how much he loves Falin. Chilchuck freaks out when he finds out that Laios told him about the dark magic, because "HE'S THE WORST PERSON TO TELL!"

LIKE, YEAH! HE SURE IS!

Maizuru also explains that from a very young age, he's been incredibly compliant. He never asks for anything, he's always been a bit sickly and uninterested in eating. He always tries to be on his very best behavior, even if that means not asking for accommodations he might actually need.

In fact, the only food he seems to LIKE eating is what Maizuru makes him. To the point where she ended up getting pulled into the kitchen even when she was on a "mission." Senshi makes a cute comment that it's "love" that Maizuru puts into those meals, but... what if it's actually because she knows the textures and flavors he likes?

Miscellaneous Autism Moments

There's so many little moments that are so incredibly autistic to me.

He sees Falin with a bug and he proposes right on the spot. The other characters are like, "oh that's just how they act in the east" but no the fuck it is not. They don't even know "Shuro" is a mispronunciation, how the hell do they know anything about eastern courting traditions?

I know EXACTLY what happened. I'm beaming you this information directly from the truth.

Toshiro was TOLD that you're supposed to 1. make your proposals a surprise, and 2. you will know the right one when you see them, and NO ONE elaborated any further because he comes from a high context culture. He popped that question the first time both of those boxes were ticked off.

In coming from a high context culture, what he does is strictly follow rules and conditions he was taught.

And that's absolutely why he handed Laios that bell. Because he does care about him and the party, and he's taught that doing these acts of service is a show of that... and he didn't even think ahead to the fact the bell was going to be ringing constantly.

And yet. In spite of that, he ALWAYS keeps it near him.

Before it clicked and I realized why, I used to think Toshiro was kind of an asshole for running off to get his vassals without even telling Marcille and Laios about his plan. Like... how could you not know they were going to do something drastic? The three of them were the Falin Fan Club and he was the most normal member of it. It's so obvious to me that Laios (brother) and Marcille (""Gal Pal"") were going to get themselves in danger.

So how could you just run off like that without telling them? Even if lack of supplies meant they couldn't go back in, how could you just leave them worried sick in the town, thinking you abandoned Falin?

And then it hit me. The man just has low empathy.

There WAS no malice, just like how there wasn't malice in how he was pushing him and his vassals to the limits, just like how there was never malice against Laios. It simply didn't occur to him like that.

He's never been taught to consider the thoughts and feelings of others very deeply and they don't come naturally. He's still compassionate. There's a reason all of his vassals love him!

But THAT'S WHY he never put himself in Laios' shoes, or anyone else's. Empathy does not come naturally to him. All of his good behavior is as a result of his moral code, NOT empathy.

So with that said, why does he love Falin so much? Aside from the wonderful, positive traits he lists when he's asked? I mean, what's really deep down at the core of why he finds these things so lovely?

Well... Falin and Laios are not all that different from each other, to the point where Toshiro gets gently ribbed in a bonus chapter about how if one of them was a girl, Shuro might have loved Laios instead. He waxes poetic about the ways she's different from most women, how she's not afraid of things like insects, her compassion, her face, her laugh.

These are all things Laios does too (in fact in one of the panels where Toshiro is appreciating Falin, she's trying to check if a caterpillar is a male or female), but Falin's personality expresses in a more subdued and introverted way. Closer to how Toshiro is, as a person. So... I think it's because he relates to her.

To both Touden siblings. But Laios makes him see things he doesn't want to.

THE LAIOS FIGHT

We established that Toshiro has a strict commitment to his values, he probably has low empathy, and even taking his cultural differences into account he's bad at communicating.

So then, why was one of his complaints against Laios' obliviousness that he "knows he doesn't mean anything by it, and that makes it worse"? Isn't that kinda specific when you think about it?

If you're neurodivergent, I want you to think back to points in time where you dealt with people who have the same issues you do. Autism, ADHD, PTSD, DID, whatever. Did you ever have a moment where they did something harmless or mildly inconvenient, definitely as a result of the same exact thing you have, and you just... HATED it?

You HATED it even more than you would anyone else doing the same thing. You probably know your response was disproportionate. But YOU don't do that THING they did. Or if you do that, it's less bad somehow. Or you used to do that but don't anymore and it reminds you of when you did.

If you're reflective, you might have realized it might be internalized ableism. I feel like that's a huge part of why Toshiro finds Laios SO. ANNOYING. Laios is like this stupid, idiot, blundering caricature of things Toshiro has been taught to avoid, which violate his moral code. Shuro comes from a place of so many more rules and subtle cues, and it's like Laios doesn't respect any of them.

What STARTS this fight, causes Laios to finally hit back after being smacked, shoved, and shouted at, is being told "YOU'RE NOT TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY."

It's so obviously wrong! Laios, who ran back into a dungeon immediately? Who Toshiro himself called rash? This is NOT a logical conclusion to make about Laios or his party. I think it came from frustration that Laios "does things the wrong way." That it's projection, stemming from that low empathy.

He's not like Kabru in the same chapter, who's desperately trying to get a read on Laios' inner workings and failing. Shuro's just extrapolating his own feelings onto him, because he's recognizing that same "sense" within him. If TOSHIRO didn't follow the rules he sets down for himself, that's not "taking it seriously."

Toshiro follows the rules. Laios does not.

...and Laios is FREE.

He's open and honest in a way Toshiro can never be, not as a noble, not as an easterner, and not as an autistic man. Hell, Laios was ALSO a noble, he gave that up! Threw that away, and then came back to his village and took Falin away from it. If Laios is acting like an idiot, he's acting like an idiot who does everything Toshiro has ever wanted to do. Laios cannot mask and Toshiro resents that.

One of the things Toshiro even explicitly says he HATES about Laios is the fact he's willing to be a burden on other people. Maizuru said earlier that he's NEVER made a "selfish request" before-- but Laios can just open his mouth and ask for help, feeling no shame, just as he did in this chapter when he asked him not to tell the Island Lord about the dark magic.

And then, after they literally come to blows, Toshiro tells Laios some incredibly brutal things, revealing he's NEVER been his friend and he has resented him this whole time. This actually sits with Laios well into the later chapters, but the fight ends and then they're just CHATTING FRIENDLY LIKE IT DIDN'T MATTER.

More honestly than ever before, because Toshiro is returning the effort. He eats some food (the narrative's metaphor for making connections). He thanks his vassals for the first time. He talks about how he wishes he'd told Falin about all the things he adored about her when he still had the chance.

I have to take the panels of his response right out of the manga actually because this little expression here is so subtle, but so meaningful.

(Read <- <- <- that way)

Look at the way that when Laios makes that genuine movement, assuring him with passion that he will be making sure Falin receives this message, Toshiro's gut response is annoyance. But then it softens and he pauses, like he's reconsidering what his response is going to be.

To admit that he envies "this side of Laios" is also admitting that the earlier fight was based on envy.

Laios was like this the WHOLE time. Making these grand speeches about his plans, what his party's been doing, how Toshiro needs to eat something and take a nap. He's ALWAYS been like this. It was Toshiro's mindset that changed.

In conclusion

Something I really like about Dungeon Meshi is HOW MANY of its characters can be read as autistic. Laios is just the most obvious one, with his special interest in monsters and inability to read social cues being central to the plot. His is a more "well known" expression of autism-- it's rare you get characters whose masking is central to their characters.

But it's really refreshing to see characters like Kabru, Falin, and Toshiro. Autistic people are rare enough in popular media to begin with, but we NEVER get characters whose autism intersects with their trauma, gender, and culture quite like these three.

[wendichester]

Idk enough I dont wanna be offensive or hurtful but the dude is incapable of liking something a normal amount lol he always has something in his mouth. he makes whats into who's. pie is his safe food. I just learned this word so idk if its legit but echolalia? He's like lapis lazuli in her mirror form when she wants to respond only able to mimic things shes heard other people say dean speaks like completely in echos !!! theres more but im def yapping at this point

getting back to this ask .ᐟ i'm putting on my sam winchester googles and start presenting my arguments on this topic──

🧩 ARGUMENT 1: “dean winchester could absolutely be autistic.”

look, no one is saying canon waved a diagnostic flag. but if you squint through a neurodivergent lens, dean winchester becomes suspiciously relatable in ways that feel a little too spot-on to ignore.

echolalia & scripting: this boy speaks in quotes. he communicates through pop culture references, movie lines, and catchphrases. it’s like he keeps an internal library of approved responses and swaps them in to make conversation easier — which is exactly how scripting works for many autistic folks. and when things get too emotional? he defaults to those scripts, often to avoid vulnerability.

special interests / hyperfixation: pie. cars. classic rock. the very specific way he maintains the Impala. his devotion to hunting, despite how much it breaks him. these aren’t just preferences — they’re anchors. intensely focused passions that provide identity, comfort, and control in a world that constantly spirals out of it.

sensory needs & routines: dean has rigid habits and comfort objects (leather jacket, Baby, burgers, specific guns). he reacts intensely when his space is invaded, his car is messed with, or his routine is thrown off. change makes him visibly glitch.

difficulty with emotional expression: he’s emotionally intelligent, yes — but deeply repressed. he has trouble articulating how he feels unless it’s through anger, humor, or deflection. he often misreads emotional cues or misses subtle interpersonal shifts. he masks like crazy, especially when it comes to vulnerability.

the masking is real: his whole "tough guy" persona? arguably a mask. dean learned very early on that the world doesn’t respond well to softness, so he built an identity that protects him. but you catch him in quiet moments — and the mask slips. he’s gentle. awkward. sincere. and so, so tired.

add it all up? and it’s not a stretch to say dean winchester reads like a neurodivergent man, especially one who has spent his whole life trying to pass as neurotypical — under trauma, under pressure, under john freaking winchester.

🙅‍♂️ ARGUMENT 2: “dean winchester is not autistic — he’s just deeply traumatized.”

okay, let’s ground ourselves. while it’s tempting to analyze fictional characters through modern psychological frameworks, intent matters — and supernatural never wrote dean with autism in mind. most of what’s being interpreted as autistic traits can be traced back to complex trauma, not neurodivergence.

rigid routines & food comforts? that's survival. dean grew up poor, on the run, hunting monsters and raising his brother. you don’t develop flexible habits in that environment — you develop coping mechanisms. pie isn’t a safe food, it’s a reward. a comfort. a rare joy he clings to in a brutal world.

emotional repression & avoidance? again: trauma. dean was parentified at four years old. his father drilled into him that emotions were weaknesses. he wasn’t born unable to express feelings — he was punished out of it.

quoting pop culture constantly? that’s cultural literacy, not echolalia. dean grew up glued to a tv in a motel room, absorbing everything. quoting movies is his way of relating, sure — but it’s not necessarily autistic scripting. it's how he connects with people, how he masks pain with humor.

social awkwardness or misreads? he’s actually quite socially adept — charismatic, witty, can manipulate or charm when he needs to. he knows how to read a room. when he fumbles, it’s usually tied to emotional stakes, not baseline communication deficits.

the show’s tone: supernatural was written for a mainstream audience, often with very shallow psychology unless the writers needed pain points for drama. projecting neurodivergence onto dean might be more about viewer interpretation than authorial intent.

so in short — dean’s behavior may resemble certain autistic traits, but it’s more accurately chalked up to generational trauma, neglect, toxic masculinity, and the brutal reality of a hunter’s life. he’s not neurodivergent. he’s just so, so damaged.

⚖️ FINAL THOUGHTS:

at the end of the day? both readings are valid. if autistic!Dean helps people feel seen, it’s a beautiful lens worth exploring. and if you see him as a deeply traumatized neurotypical man shaped by survival — also fair. he’s a complex character who wasn’t written with perfect psychological realism, so there’s room for layered interpretations. you don’t have to agree with the autistic read to respect it. and you don’t have to accept trauma as the only explanation, either. fandom is a playground — not a DSM manual.

[cardsweetheart]

Some Yumi/Idia Thoughts

Only like 2 people care about it but YumIdia is infecting my brain. She wanted so badly to go for someone who knows what the sun looks like, but he let her do some of his game pulls and she was sucked in.

-He edits all the selfies she sends him into SR and SSR card motifs. Like she is the MC of her own game and only he gets to pull for her. He puts little stats in the corners and everything. He makes them into little photocards too. Puts them in a binder that no one is ever allowed to know about.

-She loves cosplaying as his faves to rile him up. The lewder the better for her. She's never jealous, she just sees opportunities to fuck with him.

-One day she chaos dyes her hair bright blue and Vil is FURIOUS. Her style also starts to slightly shift to what she think will get his attention. On the same note, when Idia's first realizing he likes her, he tries too hard to act like Trappola bc that's who he knows she's likes before. It leads to her telling him "I picked your route before the mods. Uninstall please?" and he is just smitten like its the most romantic shit he's ever heard in his life.

-Ignihyde is the first place she goes after Ace rips into her for daring to put her attention somewhere other than him and now he realizes that maybe he was an idiot for breaking up with her.

-Cater obviously catches on to what's happening immediately and calls Idia out as quickly as possible. Then proceeds to be the best and worst guidebook/wingman Idia could've hoped for.

-She is obsessed with holidays and milestones and for the first year he forgets each and every one of them. Not being used to having to pay attention outside of his games' events. He always makes it up to her the next day with new co-op games, digital cards, gift, and affection.

-Before they're together he is relatively in control of his emotions around her. Able to breath and repress his way through their interactions. Until she learns he walks around with a built in fluster health bar in his hair and she makes it her new mission to make him bright pink to match her outfit every chance she gets. Once the dam is broken, he is the easiest target. The smallest hint, look, or tease sets him off. He is just so thrown off that the pretty girl on campus chose HIM?

-Everyone telling her she needs to go through Ortho first. Who of course adores her with no question. He's extremely happy that his brother has finally found someone he's willing to spend so much time with.

-For all her frilly and lacy clothes, her new favourite thing to wear is his hoodies. She knows it's cliché but she doesn't care. It makes her feel small and warm and like she doesn't need to perform because she's already got what she wanted.

-She could easily flirt her way into winning games with him but it's too easy for her. Unless it's board games. She's not above tampering twst monopoly negotiations.

-They match each others freak so intensely. This is two nerds who grew up gaining all their social awareness from otome games and dating sims. Their sex ed came from obscure hentai games they had no right to be touching at the ages they did. I repeat, they match each other's freak perfectly and yet they are still so awkward when it comes to even holding hands at the beginning. (This is the same girl who flashed Deuce like, the 3rd time she saw him)

-She is the queen of sending nudes or spicy texts while she knows he's in the middle of things.

-He knows she's Pomfiore's but he thinks about her transferring on the daily. Imagines her in the uniform. Well, a more feminine version of the uniform, you know to be more her style. No other reason.

[egg-emperor]

buddy I think you need to maybe give the "puritan" rhetoric a rest until you figure out what it means lol... I don't think anyone thinks you're a morally decrepit demon because you like cartoon villains, cartoon violence and have a handful of weird fetishes. at most I think the people who dislike you just think you're kind of uncomfortable and unsettling, which is a fairly standard reaction to what you represent, but you don't need to start speaking like an edgy little satanist just to defend yourself from it. it's fine. I feel like if you were really comfortable in your truth you would just Live it, instead of constantly hammering on about how liberated and radical you are and how much people supposedly "hate" you for it

I know exactly what it means and it's becoming dangerously prevalent in society and it's seeping into fandom and all kinds of other online spaces and social media by both younger and older people who haven't unlearned the christofascist conservative puritan rhetoric and mindset instilled in them by society, the government, their family, etc. I think it's really important to bring attention to it and open more people's minds to checking themselves because people are genuinely becoming harmfully reactive and hostile towards anything that makes them mildly uncomfortable or that of which they don't understand like sex and dark fiction. I'm passionate about it and it comes from a genuine place of wanting people free of this for their own sake and those around them.

Who says you even know me and the full extent of my depravity huh lol. I only talk about Eggman here on my Eggman blog, you don't follow me around the web do you? But fictional villains, violence, and kink ARE also legitimately being extremely demonized and people are leaning into preaching literal nazi rhetoric with claiming of degeneracy and wishing death on people that do things they don't personally enjoy for reasons they can't even explain themselves beyond "it's gross and makes me uncomfortable". Yet in their minds, that justifies extreme hostility, bullying, stalking, suicide baiting, doxxing, etc. But of course you wouldn't see that as a big deal when it's become so dangerously normalized online.

Those are the reasons people dislike me. Because I believe in freedom of expression and that people shouldn't be shamed or abused for being interested anything that isn't squeaky clean pure god-honoring and kid friendly like people have been brainwashed into thinking is the only stuff "okay" to enjoy and create, greatly limiting artistic expression, pleasure, and freedom. Those are the very reasons I'm seen as uncomfortable and unsettling besides some autism shit of being socially awkward, weird, and having my attitude and tone read wrong during it sprinkled in. But ask every person who has a problem with me and they'll tell you this. That's why they believe it's okay to say and do messed up shit to me but I'm far past letting it affect me anymore.

And thanks I'm glad I'm still living up to being unsettling and uncomfortable, it's what I'm going for <3 Also I kinda am an edgy little Satanist actually lol, I'm wearing a necklace and ring with baphomet and pentagrams on them rn :P

I am living it right now. I am actually practicing what I preach everyday. I'm very comfortable and secure in who I am and what I enjoy and it's a beautiful feeling to be so at peace with myself and in acceptance of myself and having no shame in expressing it. But I'm also very passionate about helping others by talking about it and being the example I wish I had before I worked hard to get here because I was harmed badly by people who blamed me for some of the worst darkest things I've been through in my life and they felt completely justified because they had that puritan morally superior mindset.

I still see other people going through that while also not having that security in themself that I have now and instead feel shame and try to change themself by repressing their interests and kinks and being stripped of their freedom or even end up taking their life and that breaks my heart. If I can help even one person stop feeling that way and let them know it's okay and they're not broken or sick for it, it's worth it. People tell me I inspire them to be themself and not worry about being seen as weird and evil and that makes me so happy and is another motivation for me to exist and post online. And for that I'll keep at it.

Also this seems kinda outta nowhere because I don't talk about it that constantly, definitely not more than I just live it by existing here gushing about fictional evil and being a pervert lol

[xenosagaepisodeone]

more on that post from yesterday, I feel as if people who grew up needing to manually learn social rules due to neurodivergence are often susceptible to a kind of cynicism that (ironically) normietypicals don't necessarily subscribe to. it makes sense, once you pick up on the social hierarchy built in to a lot of spaces, it can make social relationships seem transactional and hollow. if you aren't surrounded by people who have your interests/opinions/habits/etc, the only value in fitting in is the emotional experience of being a part of a crowd and how much your "I Am Normal" self-concept is validated. there's also the pride in realizing that you've figured out "the rules" unlike your peers who may not be as socially adept. socializing becomes a game you can "win" in the kind of way you win trivial pursuit, except if the only subject was arbitrary social norms.

i'd say the biggest disservice people do to themselves when contorting themselves this way is losing the ability to recognize that some adults are just unpleasant, not a reflection of the world at large. most of the time when you do a social faux pas, there's normally a way to ameliorate the situation (with the obvious exception of like, exclusive settings, networking or work events where social conduct is part of the package you're selling). if you've internalized heirarchical thinking however, you'll come to believe that you've lost the interaction- that everyone has now seen you for the awkward autist you spend every waking moment repressing. you don't need to do this! people outside of particular circumstances do not see socializing as a game to win. if you keep talking and are kind, understanding and considerate, it's small potatoes- but you need to commit to the bit. other people intuit "the rules", but they aren't actually as committed to most of them as you think (a lot of them don't even fully understand why they exist, they just know it's what you're "supposed" to do). a situation I've observed more than once was someone who had deeply wound themselves around a set of behaviors finding themselves frustratingly confounded when a newcomer with some behavioral quirks was well-accepted by their group. as it turns out, whatever punishment your parents or schools dolled out for your eccentricities don't necessarily carry over to people who are actually compassionate and understanding in the adult world LOL. you poison yourself by believing that hierarchy and being boring is intrinsic to "normal people".

I don't know though, maybe social interactions only work for me in spite of my shortcomings because everyone thinks I'm a pretty princess