#socially awkward and/or repressed for. most of them.

[orcelito]

hi i spent way too long on this to not share it

i made one of those. fav character bingos

this is an. interesting assortment for sure. i sure do love them all very much. i feel like im tattling on myself with this tho lmfao

[crimeronan]

there's an amity POV thing i wanna write for the princess luz AU, but it's truly plotless n largely just involves her being a spectator to one event that has already happened within the AU canon. which is fine i guess, i can do whatever i want and all that

but. i must admit. that 98% of the reason that i want to write this is.... just for amity watching hunter and luz be How They Are. & having a very long moment where she's genuinely and not-unkindly like. okay. Wow. you two really truly honest to god are complete freaks. god bless, love and light, diplomatic phrasing and all that, but jesus FUCKING CHRI-

[lavenderprose]

Thank you God and also Jesus for giving Emmrich the most rizz of any character in this game. It would have been so easy to make the goth academic fifty-year-old the butt of every 'awkward loser' joke that anyone even slightly to the wrong side of nerdy has ever heard. Instead he's a fucking beacon of game in a sea of thirty somethings with crippling social issues. Neve says 'I love you' like someone is forcing her to do it at gunpoint, Davrin does nothing but hookups because he's decided he's constantly seven seconds away from death, Harding is repressed as fuck, and don't even get me STARTED on Lucanis. My man has cried through every orgasm he's ever had.

Meanwhile Emmrich's making wisps dance for Rook and taking them on romantic cemetery dates and making tender love to them in a COFFIN. He KNOWS Rook is into him and he immediately lets them know it. He's fun and funny because he likes dead things and books a bit too much but he can also look at you from across the room and stroke a finger over his mustache and you KNOW where you'll be sitting at the end of the night. Unambiguously this man fucks. Thank you for my life Sylvia Feketekuty.

[alphajocklover]

No longer a Spider, finally a Man

**Hey! First time doing a fanfic muscle growth. Or at least posting it. I hope you guys like it! Please tell me how I can do better, and send in story suggestions if you want!**

Peter Parker loved being Spider-Man. He loved saving people, he loved using his powers to make a difference, he loved swinging through the sky line. But he also hated it. He hated the pressure, the responsibility, the fact that he nd his loved ones were in constant danger, the fact that he was always lying to everyone. He hated that he could never be normal. But then again Peter had never been very normal. Even before becoming Spider-man he had been a nerd. Smart, socially awkward, and tormented by the popular kids. That didn’t exactly change after becoming Spider-Man either, though his social issues had definitely gone to the back burner with him constantly fighting crime. If he was being honest his social life had only gotten worse since becoming a superhero. He had gained some muscle and no longer needed glasses, yes, but he couldn’t exactly show that. He hadn’t had time for his friends, his normally fantastic grades were slipping, and Flashes bullying had only gotten worse.

As Peter, out of costume, walked to Midtown, he wondered what it would be like to be a normal teenager. Not just what it would be like to not be Spider-Man, but to not be a nerd. He wondered what it would be like to be a regular teenage boy. Maybe if he wasn’t Spider-Man he could have even been… cool or something. Probably not, but it was still a nice fantasy. Just as he was imagining this, his spider-sense went off. He looked around, prepared to jump out of the way of any danger, but, even with his super reflexes, he couldn’t get out of the way before the strange something hit him right in the middle of his chest. Peter stumbled back, not realizing that the reality stone, one of the infinity stones, had lodged itself inside of his heart. Normally such a thing would kill someone, or at least hurt them, but due to the magic nature of the stone it phased through his chest and inside of him without harming him. Peter blinked. What… just happened? He had sworn something had just flown into his chest but… wouldn’t that have killed him or something? Before he could investigate further, an alarm on his phone began to ring. Crap, he was late for class! Peter ran into the school as the power of the reality stone seeped into his blood. He turned a corner, just a hallway away from his classroom, when he almost ran straight into a wall of muscle, his super-reflexes being the only thing that saved him. As he skirted to a halt, he came face to face with his biggest tormentor (supervillains and news editors notwithstanding) : Flash Thompson. The most popular jock in school and Peter Parker's personal bully. The blond quarterback sneered cockily at Peter before he spoke

“Hey there Puny Parker. Running late again? I thought geeks like you were supposed to be punctual and shit?” Flash said with a cocky mocking laugh.

“What do you want, Flash?” Peter asked with a scowl, trying to keep his patience.

“Just checking up on my favorite nerd.” Flash mocked, grabbing Peter’s arm. Before Peter could react, Flash had shoved him up against the locker, peters arm pinned behind his back. What the heck? He had super powers, enhanced reflexes, he should have been able to see that coming. Peter didn’t realize that his subconscious desire to be normal was repressing his powers. Unable to fight back, Peter was shoved into a nearby open locker and locked inside. Peter sighed. Stuck in a locker again. Peter didn’t notice as the orange light in his chest began to glow. He closed his eyes and deeply wished… to stop being a loser. To be normal. To be… anything else than who he was. The orange light grew brighter and brighter… until it completely consumed Peter. Suddenly he heard something

“Parker… Parker!”

With a start Peter Parker woke up, looking around in shock. He was… in a classroom? He was sitting at a desk at the back of a class he didn’t recognize, one that he seemed to have been sleeping through. Had all of that been a crazy dream? He looked over to see the remedial math teacher, Ms Jones. What was he doing in remedial math? Before he could say anything, Ms Jones spoke once more

“Mr Parker, please try to stay awake during class. Your grade is already low enough.” She said, sending a chuckle throughout the room. Peter spoke without thinking, his voice deeper and fuller than he remembered.

“Sorry teach. I’m still tired from our ‘study session’ last night. Thanks for the extra tutoring by the way~” he said. Did he just… flirt with a teacher? He did! And weirdly enough the slight embarrassed blush on Ms Jones face suggested that it was working. Ms. Jones spoke again, more timid this time

“While.. just don’t be late tonight.” She said with a slight wink, before walking over to the front of the classroom again. This caused the class, which now that Peter was looking consisted mostly of the football team, too laugh loudly, one punching Peter on the shoulder in a playful manner. Peter felt a smirk he couldn’t control come over his face, and his eyes involuntaries followed Ms Jones' ass as she walked back to the front of the class. In a daze, Peter tried to figure out what was happening. Wasn’t he just in a locker? What was he doing in remedial math? And why was he acting so weird? Before he could wonder any further, the bell rang and class was dismissed. Peter ran out without talking to anyone, and headed to a nearby bathroom. He looked in the mirror and froze. It was Peter but… completely different. He was bigger, taller, with wider shoulders. He had full, bouncy pecs that were barely contained by his tank top, shredded abs that he could grate cheese on, and truly impressive biceps. Peter had gone from a geek who gets stuffed into lockers to a huge muscular jock! Peter wanted to be shocked, to be horrified, but… he felt another smirk cross his face. He began to flex his muscles cockily. He smirked and felt his thoughts turn. He looked fucking amazing! I mean, of course he did. He was big Pete Parker, the big man, the quarterback, the stud! Slowly Peter began to forget about his old self, too absorbed in the strong, dull thoughts going through his head. He wondered what he and his best bro Flash would do after football practice? Maybe beat up some geeks, or find a hottie to hook up with? Peter had a lot of girls to choose from already, including MJ, Liz, Gwen, Charlie and of course Ms Jones, but… he wouldn’t mind another. Pete smirked and strut out of the bathroom, not noticing a light orange glow between his pecs. Life was fucking sweet.

[flowersforchoso]

—Bi-han courting you ᥫ᭡

it's hard to imagine this blizzard of a man ever falling for someone, but he does, and he falls pretty hard when it happens although it's like, an extremely rare occurrence.

it's the classic love-at-first-sight scenario. you're at the restaurant, conversing with madame bo from a distance, when you catch his attention. he likes what he sees, and like the typical man, he discreetly stares until you're out of sight

he doesn't think much about you afterwards, but the seed of attraction has already been planted and soon grows.

somehow, coincidentally, he meets you again at the same place (fate perhaps?) but this time, it's different—you're both face-to-face and introductions ensue.

since the lin kuei trio occasionally unwind at the establishment after a mission, and you're a healer who madame bo often consults, it's no surprise your paths cross

bi-han is laser focused on you as the said woman introduces you to the group, observing you like a specimen: your physicality, mannerisms, demeanour, and finds himself magnetized by your graceful aura

but he doesn't speak to you at all while pleasantries are exchanged, making him the odd one out. however, his assessment of you is positive indicating a romantic interest.

despite the brief interaction, you leave a lasting impression on him and have begun to take up permanent residence in his mind.

but it doesn't end there; he sees you quite often due to your affiliation with the old woman, and each time he does, his heart skips a beat; he's emotionally incapacitated, rendered powerless (proximity to him is the only way anything can happen tbh)

he represses this newfound emotion until he's unable to resist, ultimately surrendering to it. and believe it or not, he makes the first move. surprisingly

i know the consensus is that he's pretty much inexperienced in romantic relationships and hence wouldn't approach, but for a man of his calibre, there's no way he hasn't been in a committed relationship, even if short-lived. moreover, he goes after what he wants, romantic matters are no different; the only issue is it'll take him forever to get to it.

he has to first wrestle with himself over his feelings towards you. and once he overcomes this internal struggle, it'll take your sustained absence to propel him to finally pursue you out of fear that you might slip away from his grasp.

while he won't directly approach you, he communicates his interest via subordinates, which leads to unexpected appearances—a blue-clad ninja at your doorstep bearing gifts

you're very confused, but they explain they've been sent by their grandmaster. it is then you come to the realization that the standoffish, intimidating man you encountered at the restaurant has taken a liking to you! but wait- how does he know where you live? (he's gathered bits of information about you)

in his quest to conquer your heart and claim it as his, he first aims to impress. expect to be bombarded by gifts or flowers every fortnight. he also does this for ego reasons, to flaunt his status before eventually requesting a date—through a mouthpiece, of course.

the occasion is quite awkward, overly formal, with you doing most of the talking because he wants to know all about you like the back of his hand

if you attempt to redirect focus on him to satisfy any curiosity you may have, he basically shuts it down by saying something along the lines of, "i lead a formidable warrior clan, that is sufficient enough." you can't tell if he's just reserved or severely lacking in social skills, but if you peer hard enough, the lines are blurred.

he is actually very mindful of his words and respectful towards you. he is aware of how blunt and abrasive he can come across and doesn't want to scare you away; that would undo all his efforts and bring them to naught, and he isn't going to self-sabotage, not after coming this far

he's gentlemanly, and its obvious from his body language and actions he's infatuated with you. but being a conversationalist and showing affection aren't his strong suits, so this is where you come in. the ball is in your court to steer the budding relationship forward otherwise it'll stagnate

[ckret2]

Weird question, but do you think ford is/was repressed or in denial? Filbrick doesn't seem like a very understanding parent, and I notice throughout all the lavish praise Ford heaps on Bill he stops short of outright saying he has a crush, which I think hints at ford being unaware that he has feelings for Bill because You Only Get That for the Opposite Gender (and assumes a god like bill is way above his league). The "girls will talk to me" quote in particular seems very much like someone trying and failing to fit himself into heteronormative standards and just chalking it up to social awkwardness, and the way he clings to Bill reminds me very much of a first gay relationship, where the fear of being rejected is magnified tenfold by thinking that literally no one else in the world will love you. Sorry, this became a whole essay, I just have so many thoughts about billford and have spent hours combing through gf Tumblr analayzing their relationship.

You're asking me about what I actually think is true so that's the perspective from which I'm starting here.

First, let me say that I think headcanons are like dartboards. There are some "canonest" headcanons—even if they're not confirmed true, they feel like they're at the bullseye at the very center of canon-compatible possibilities, the thing most likely to be true if canon were ever to directly explore it.

And then there are the "this isn't what I think they'd actually do if canon were ever to go there, but based on what we currently know this headcanon is still canon-compatible." These are the headcanons that are on the dartboard but on an outer ring, not a bullseye.

I think the "bullseye" interpretation of Ford's sexuality is that he's aromantic. Possibly ace as well, but this isn't as firm—Ford does talk like he finds the idea of a committed romantic relationship bizarre, but he doesn't talk like he doesn't understand the idea of being attracted to someone, making me think maybe he does feel sexual desire.

And if that's what Ford is, then he didn't say he had a crush on Bill because he didn't. He was obsessed with Bill, he considered Bill the most important person in his life, he respected him and admired him and liked him more than anybody else, he'd rather spend time with him than with anyone else... but, it's a platonic obsession. It's not in any way weaker for being platonic instead of romantic, but it's platonic. Queerplatonic relationship type territory.

He talks about girls talking to him someday because, for lack of any better evidence, he assumes he must be heterosexual because he has no positive proof otherwise, so he figures he probably just hasn't met the right girl, right? And he hasn't met the right girl because he's so unpopular no girls want to talk to him. Once he meets the Right Girl, he assumes he'll Get It then—because that's what a lotta aros (and aces!) think for the longest time before it dawns on them that that's never coming. (It's possible he even has been sexually attracted to women, further obscuring his aromanticism from himself. He did date a siren at one point. But tbh I don't think it's highly likely.)

That's my "bullseye" "canonest" interpretation of Ford's sexuality.

Now, my personal "on the outer ring of the dartboard" headcanon is that Ford's sexuality is, in extremely professional terminology, demiromantic monsterfucker.

He has felt sexual attraction, he is not in denial or repressing his sexual attraction in any way, he's accepted this about himself; however, everything he's been attracted to is, like... Mothra. or Cthulhu. or a weird singing fish-bird, i.e. that siren.

80% of the time he's had sex it's not even motivated by sexual desire but by other platonic motives. If the Hide-Behind ever hit on him, he would eagerly accept just to find out and document what Hide-Behind mating behaviors are like without ever once stopping to think "but am I attracted though?" Like he'll have a fine time, he isn't repulsed, but he's not doing it out of desire.

He does have the potential to fall in love—he has the potential to fall in love with Bill—but again, I headcanon he didn't say he had a crush on Bill because he didn't. It was slowly building over the course of several years. He was like 97% of the way there...

... when Bill revealed his evil plan and started torturing Ford.

So it never quite tipped over.

Thirty years later, Ford's got enough self-insight to realize that even though he wasn't "in love" with Bill, he was 1) very close, and 2) feeling something platonically strong enough that ultimately, that slight difference doesn't really matter.

I can also see him as just not feeling, understanding, or caring about the dividing line between romantic and platonic.

In either version of my headcanons, I don't think Ford was "repressed"/"in denial" about having "gay" feelings. He's got enough issues, I'm not interested in tossing internalized homophobia on top of it—especially when from college onward he's all about celebrating outsiders and weirdness. At most he'd be a case of queer ignorance where he hasn't explored himself enough to figure out what he is.

Tbh I don't think he's any more likely to be attracted to human men than he would be to human women—and if he did fully fall in love with Bill, I don't think Bill, O Wondrous Interdimensional Muse Whose Body Is A Frigging Triangle, would ping Ford as "male" enough for Ford to feel like his own attraction is "gay."

[bonefall]

Not sure if this is the place to ask or if I should go to Bonebabble, but ooh, Dungeon Meshi mention! I love what you said about low-empathy and apathy, I think I’ll use that in ny own characters.

I wanted to ask why you think Shuro is autistic. I’ve seen a lot of people say it so there must be a reason why, but I don’t think it’s really obvious to me? Like with Laios, autism/neurodivergence is so integral to his story, so it’s deeply obvious. I love the way he’s written! But we don’t see a lot of Shuro, so I’d like to hear more of why people see the tism in him.

@bonebabbles is the better place to send these in the future but it's chill! The vibe right now's loose since we're all coming down from the heaviness of Mooncourse lmao

Honestly, I feel a little 'tism in a lot of the cast of Dungeon Meshi. As a very autistic writer myself, it kind of has a vibe like it was written by someone who's autistic and so it gets peppered into all of her characters. It's something I notice a lot in my own art, too.

But like, when it comes to Toshiro... I can't stop thinking about him. He makes me want to chew the furniture. With every passing day I become less normal about him.

glossary because I had a lot of thoughts about Toshiro Dungeon Meshi i guess. Oh my god this got long

He reminds me of some people I know

His culture clash is very relatable to me in an autistic way

He has a rigid commitment to his values and morals

Miscellaneous Autism Moments

THE LAIOS FIGHT

in conclusion

He reminds me of some people I know

He reminds me of certain autistic men I've met from affluent families. The type who both is taught to repress and mask their own traits, yet also not to be incredibly mindful of the emotions of other people. Because of their status, they don't have to learn how to work out interpersonal conflict because the majority of the people around them are servants or family. People who would never go away if they didn't like you.

So, his vassals have to learn to talk to him and how to carry out his orders. Not the other way around. As a result, Toshiro has a bit of unearned confidence about his leadership abilities and communication skills. NOT in a way that is smug, DO NOT misunderstand me; just in a way that overestimates his own judgement. Maybe he has encyclopedic knowledge for talking to other nobles offscreen, but when it came to his own team, he was ignoring a lot of the good advice they gave him about taking breaks.

Yes, Toshiro is from a high-context culture-- but his communication issues are bad with everyone.

ESPECIALLY his vassals, people he calls family, from the same exact culture as him. They're worried about him, most of them are desperate for acknowledgement, they'd do anything for him, and he doesn't address this until AFTER his brawl with Laios!

His culture clash is very relatable to me in an autistic way

Toshiro knew he was going somewhere that was going to be a melting pot of mostly western cultures. He knew the manners were going to be different, and he came alone, not in a group where he was only interacting with his own people.

Yet he NEVER adjusted his own social behavior.

I'm American and my partner is British. When I first went, I had no idea why they were offering me so much tea. I thought I was being polite by following them into the kitchen, thinking they wanted to move the conversation over there. My partner quickly fixed this by explaining that when someone offers you tea, they're taking a short pause in the lull of a conversation to be a good host.

I am autistic. What someone else might have just figured out through getting an awkward look, I had to be told directly. There are a lot of little things like that.

Toshiro feels like what would happen if the opposite was happening, an autistic person from a high-context culture coming to a low-context culture. He can't properly express discomfort. It's not JUST Laios, King of Autism, that he's having issues talking to. Neither Marcille nor Chilchuck know that "Shuro" is a mispronunciation, and they had no clue that he disliked Laios THIS much.

I even think it's kinda telling that Toshiro felt the most comfortable with Falin out of the rest of the party. The hyper-empathetic autistic girl who goes out of her way to accommodate others.

He has a rigid commitment to his values and morals

A strict, uncompromising moral compass is a hallmark of autism. It's everything Toshiro does!!

When Falin was eaten, he bolted off to assemble the best team he could think of. He believes that love is sacrifice, so he pushes his body and his family to the limit to try and prove how much he loves Falin. Chilchuck freaks out when he finds out that Laios told him about the dark magic, because "HE'S THE WORST PERSON TO TELL!"

LIKE, YEAH! HE SURE IS!

Maizuru also explains that from a very young age, he's been incredibly compliant. He never asks for anything, he's always been a bit sickly and uninterested in eating. He always tries to be on his very best behavior, even if that means not asking for accommodations he might actually need.

In fact, the only food he seems to LIKE eating is what Maizuru makes him. To the point where she ended up getting pulled into the kitchen even when she was on a "mission." Senshi makes a cute comment that it's "love" that Maizuru puts into those meals, but... what if it's actually because she knows the textures and flavors he likes?

Miscellaneous Autism Moments

There's so many little moments that are so incredibly autistic to me.

He sees Falin with a bug and he proposes right on the spot. The other characters are like, "oh that's just how they act in the east" but no the fuck it is not. They don't even know "Shuro" is a mispronunciation, how the hell do they know anything about eastern courting traditions?

I know EXACTLY what happened. I'm beaming you this information directly from the truth.

Toshiro was TOLD that you're supposed to 1. make your proposals a surprise, and 2. you will know the right one when you see them, and NO ONE elaborated any further because he comes from a high context culture. He popped that question the first time both of those boxes were ticked off.

In coming from a high context culture, what he does is strictly follow rules and conditions he was taught.

And that's absolutely why he handed Laios that bell. Because he does care about him and the party, and he's taught that doing these acts of service is a show of that... and he didn't even think ahead to the fact the bell was going to be ringing constantly.

And yet. In spite of that, he ALWAYS keeps it near him.

Before it clicked and I realized why, I used to think Toshiro was kind of an asshole for running off to get his vassals without even telling Marcille and Laios about his plan. Like... how could you not know they were going to do something drastic? The three of them were the Falin Fan Club and he was the most normal member of it. It's so obvious to me that Laios (brother) and Marcille (""Gal Pal"") were going to get themselves in danger.

So how could you just run off like that without telling them? Even if lack of supplies meant they couldn't go back in, how could you just leave them worried sick in the town, thinking you abandoned Falin?

And then it hit me. The man just has low empathy.

There WAS no malice, just like how there wasn't malice in how he was pushing him and his vassals to the limits, just like how there was never malice against Laios. It simply didn't occur to him like that.

He's never been taught to consider the thoughts and feelings of others very deeply and they don't come naturally. He's still compassionate. There's a reason all of his vassals love him!

But THAT'S WHY he never put himself in Laios' shoes, or anyone else's. Empathy does not come naturally to him. All of his good behavior is as a result of his moral code, NOT empathy.

So with that said, why does he love Falin so much? Aside from the wonderful, positive traits he lists when he's asked? I mean, what's really deep down at the core of why he finds these things so lovely?

Well... Falin and Laios are not all that different from each other, to the point where Toshiro gets gently ribbed in a bonus chapter about how if one of them was a girl, Shuro might have loved Laios instead. He waxes poetic about the ways she's different from most women, how she's not afraid of things like insects, her compassion, her face, her laugh.

These are all things Laios does too (in fact in one of the panels where Toshiro is appreciating Falin, she's trying to check if a caterpillar is a male or female), but Falin's personality expresses in a more subdued and introverted way. Closer to how Toshiro is, as a person. So... I think it's because he relates to her.

To both Touden siblings. But Laios makes him see things he doesn't want to.

THE LAIOS FIGHT

We established that Toshiro has a strict commitment to his values, he probably has low empathy, and even taking his cultural differences into account he's bad at communicating.

So then, why was one of his complaints against Laios' obliviousness that he "knows he doesn't mean anything by it, and that makes it worse"? Isn't that kinda specific when you think about it?

If you're neurodivergent, I want you to think back to points in time where you dealt with people who have the same issues you do. Autism, ADHD, PTSD, DID, whatever. Did you ever have a moment where they did something harmless or mildly inconvenient, definitely as a result of the same exact thing you have, and you just... HATED it?

You HATED it even more than you would anyone else doing the same thing. You probably know your response was disproportionate. But YOU don't do that THING they did. Or if you do that, it's less bad somehow. Or you used to do that but don't anymore and it reminds you of when you did.

If you're reflective, you might have realized it might be internalized ableism. I feel like that's a huge part of why Toshiro finds Laios SO. ANNOYING. Laios is like this stupid, idiot, blundering caricature of things Toshiro has been taught to avoid, which violate his moral code. Shuro comes from a place of so many more rules and subtle cues, and it's like Laios doesn't respect any of them.

What STARTS this fight, causes Laios to finally hit back after being smacked, shoved, and shouted at, is being told "YOU'RE NOT TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY."

It's so obviously wrong! Laios, who ran back into a dungeon immediately? Who Toshiro himself called rash? This is NOT a logical conclusion to make about Laios or his party. I think it came from frustration that Laios "does things the wrong way." That it's projection, stemming from that low empathy.

He's not like Kabru in the same chapter, who's desperately trying to get a read on Laios' inner workings and failing. Shuro's just extrapolating his own feelings onto him, because he's recognizing that same "sense" within him. If TOSHIRO didn't follow the rules he sets down for himself, that's not "taking it seriously."

Toshiro follows the rules. Laios does not.

...and Laios is FREE.

He's open and honest in a way Toshiro can never be, not as a noble, not as an easterner, and not as an autistic man. Hell, Laios was ALSO a noble, he gave that up! Threw that away, and then came back to his village and took Falin away from it. If Laios is acting like an idiot, he's acting like an idiot who does everything Toshiro has ever wanted to do. Laios cannot mask and Toshiro resents that.

One of the things Toshiro even explicitly says he HATES about Laios is the fact he's willing to be a burden on other people. Maizuru said earlier that he's NEVER made a "selfish request" before-- but Laios can just open his mouth and ask for help, feeling no shame, just as he did in this chapter when he asked him not to tell the Island Lord about the dark magic.

And then, after they literally come to blows, Toshiro tells Laios some incredibly brutal things, revealing he's NEVER been his friend and he has resented him this whole time. This actually sits with Laios well into the later chapters, but the fight ends and then they're just CHATTING FRIENDLY LIKE IT DIDN'T MATTER.

More honestly than ever before, because Toshiro is returning the effort. He eats some food (the narrative's metaphor for making connections). He thanks his vassals for the first time. He talks about how he wishes he'd told Falin about all the things he adored about her when he still had the chance.

I have to take the panels of his response right out of the manga actually because this little expression here is so subtle, but so meaningful.

(Read <- <- <- that way)

Look at the way that when Laios makes that genuine movement, assuring him with passion that he will be making sure Falin receives this message, Toshiro's gut response is annoyance. But then it softens and he pauses, like he's reconsidering what his response is going to be.

To admit that he envies "this side of Laios" is also admitting that the earlier fight was based on envy.

Laios was like this the WHOLE time. Making these grand speeches about his plans, what his party's been doing, how Toshiro needs to eat something and take a nap. He's ALWAYS been like this. It was Toshiro's mindset that changed.

In conclusion

Something I really like about Dungeon Meshi is HOW MANY of its characters can be read as autistic. Laios is just the most obvious one, with his special interest in monsters and inability to read social cues being central to the plot. His is a more "well known" expression of autism-- it's rare you get characters whose masking is central to their characters.

But it's really refreshing to see characters like Kabru, Falin, and Toshiro. Autistic people are rare enough in popular media to begin with, but we NEVER get characters whose autism intersects with their trauma, gender, and culture quite like these three.

[sxeraphfic]

SFW ALPHABET W/ DONNIE DARKO

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

Hey everyone! decided to do the sfw alphabet thing, i got rid of a few that felt unneeded or like id already partially answered them. hope you enjoy my loves <3

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Donnie as a very socially awkward and emotionally repressed person would be awkward with affection at first, i think he’d want to hug and kiss you and be cuddly but get nervous of freaking you out or scaring you. He has the mentality that he’s abit of a freak so he’ll project that unfortunately. However as time goes on and he learns to trust and feel your love he will become very affectionate.

He definitely enjoys hugs from behind whether it’s from you or him, not only is it cozy feeling but he occasionally likes to surprise you and give you a little scare because he’s a tease

Donnie also and obviously enjoys handholding and kissing, he’ll make sure to hold your hand wherever you go!

He isn’t particularly scared of PDA, he won’t do anything extreme but i feel like he’s a little unaware of his surroundings sometimes so he’ll happily go for a kiss or a hug in the middle of the street.

Donnie feels most comforted at home, away from people and with you. He’ll be extra cuddly then, whether it’s laying on your chest or getting his hair stroked he’ll love the attention and warmth you bring to him and he’ll do the exact same for you.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Donnie would probably be abit emotionally unavailable as a best friend not going to lie, i think he’d have a hard time differentiating between why a best friend is different to a normal friend… “shouldn’t you treat your friends all the same?”

However after awhile it’d be clear to him that you’re a trustworthy and good person, he’d open up to you about a few of his more… complicated problems and may even impulsively tell you some weird things during his episodes

The friendship would begin probably with you initiating it through some sort of party or maybe at school, at first he’d be a little distant and non chalant but after awhile he would have a genuine interest in your hobbies, life, personality etc

He’d probably feel most comfortable just hanging out in his room listening to music or playing video games maybe even reading or studying together.

He’d be loyal aswell, and open to listening to your problems as he out of all people would know what it feels like to have problems.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Cuddling with friends or family? absolutely not. But with a lover it’s a completely different story.

He’ll try to smoothly initiate it but end up accidentally saying or doing something silly and you’ll both laugh it off

He’s clingy aswell, not at first but as time goes on it’ll show, even during the hottest of summer nights he’ll try to link hands together as you sleep.

He looooves when you initiate it first, not just because he’s shy but it shows you want him and that’s all he needs to feel appreciated

I can imagine you two both standing together at a bus stop on a cold snowy day, cuddling together with his face buried in your hair to keep warm.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Donnie definitely wants to settle down at some point, i don’t see him having commitment issues but more so the complete opposite. Once he’s found the one he won’t let go and will do his best to be a good boyfriend OR husband despite his mental health.

Donnie would be a little messy about cleaning, he’s not lazy (most of the time) and i think he’d want the cleaning and cooking duties to be equal on both parts so he’d be happy to learn to cook for you.

During possible depressive or psychotic episodes he would require you to be a little more understanding on why he may not be perfect at keeping everything clean, he’d apologise in embarrassment but surely you’d understand <3

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Donnie would be terrible at breakups, i think he’s the type to dump and ghost and never speak again unfortunately.

He’d do the right thing by at least talking it out in person, but it would be an awkward conversation for sure and relatively fast paced as he wouldn’t know what to say afterwards.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Donnie would probably not really actually care at least too much about marriage, he wants it but he won’t be asking to marry you straight away.

That being said that doesn’t mean he’s not committed to you, he’s all yours and he expects the same from you!

I can imagine it wouldn’t take long before he pops the question out, maybe at a pretty looking park or dinner date where he makes the effort to have everything be lovey dovey and romantic.

I can imagine late night conversations in bed with him, and him suddenly bringing up the idea of marriage. “do you see us together in the future y/n?”

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Donnie is an absolute gentle soul towards you, he’s never violent or rough and is absolutely terrified of hurting or scaring you.

He gets easily frustrated and annoyed but is quick to apologise and stop if you tell him he needs to calm down

Occasionally donnie will enjoy a little play fighting or a little pinch to give you a shock, but most of the time he prefers to just be gentle with you.

Emotionally donnie tries his best to be gentle, however he’s filled with sarcasm and is a little bit of a meanie, it’ll show and if you tell him you don’t appreciate it he’ll try his best to repress himself. Otherwise if you enjoy it he’ll probably like that and ramp it up a little more for the banter factor.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Donnie’s hugs depend on where you are.

In public places his hugs will usually be casual and quick, he’ll probably give you a kiss on the forehead too during it.

In more private places he’ll be much more relaxed and give you long and heartfelt hugs, kind of bear hug like in a sense. He might rough up your hair and give you lots of kisses during it aswell.

Donnie is always happy to receive a hug from you too, he won’t mind how long they are or how intense you are about it. He just likes that you want to give him one in the first place!

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Donnie doesn’t really understand social norms like waiting 3 months to say i love you, if he’s with you in the first place that means he loves you. So it’ll probably take less than a week for him to announce it to you, maybe even on the same day you get together. He’s fast paced with his emotions and words and is quite blunt about it.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Oh boy do i have opinions on this.

Donnie will get jealous and he’ll definitely ruminate and stress on it, HOWEVER he will not blame you for it unless you’re showing signs of cheating.

When he’s jealous it’ll take him a few days before he really admits it, in the mean time he’ll be a little distant and more sad looking than usual. He’ll ask for validation from you like a sad little puppy whilst not even being open about why he’s asking for it in the first place. The next stage will be him getting a little snarky about whatever’s made him jealous which is where you’ll realise what’s happened.

Donnie is a paranoid person, but for you he knows to try tone it down. If you realise he’s jealous and just comfort and explain to him that he doesn’t have to be, he’ll immediately feel comforted and better about it. Just don’t keep him waiting on it.

I think during his episodes he’ll be a little more aggressive about it but as i said all he wants is the confirmation that you only want him.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

It’s hard to tell with donnie whether his kisses are going to end up in a rough and steamy make out sesh or if it’s gonna be just a quick little peck. Either way he’ll make sure to kiss you on the regular!

Donnie’s favourite places to kiss you are

Your lips (ofc) your forehead your cheeks your neck your stomach and thighs and literally anywhere else. lol.

Donnie personally likes to be kissed in those exact places too, especially his neck. it gives him butterflies.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Hmmm as a teen obviously he just likes to tease and make fun of them, especially his little sister.

But as he gets older and as he’s stated himself he definitely wants to have kids, he’d only have them if he was mentally well enough to handle them though.

That being said if he did have them and was mentally well, he’d been a kind of “cool dad” if you get what i mean. Not afraid to be honest and direct with his kids about the world, maybe occasionally make a silly more adult joke or swear around them. He’d want them to be emotionally intelligent and know how to navigate though their world, so he’d be cautious about the media and information they consume.

He’d also defend them against school authority probably lol. Even if they’re in the wrong and they’ve done something stupid he’ll be the first to say it’s not a big deal.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

“Nooo ten more minutes” type of energy here. you will not be leaving that bed until he’s ready!

If hes in his bed cuddling you he’s as happy as can be, he loves to stare and admire how you look when you’re sleeping so he always hopes to wake up before you.

Once he’s out of bed he’s abit of a grump for the next hour or so, he enjoys it if you happen to make breakfast for him but it’s not a big deal if you don’t.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

There’s a variety of things donnie wouldn’t mind doing at night, he’s kind of an all cards type of guy when it comes to it since the vibes of night just suit his needs perfect

Watching movies in his room or at the cinema Listening to music Reading Cuddling and kissing Other.. not so safe for work stuff.. Night walks and star gazing

Donnie loves any time he can spend with you really, he’s not in a rush to go to sleep so he’ll stay up all night with you if that’s what you want.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Donnie is not one too get easily angered, with you that is. Normally he’s very easily riled up about how the world is cruel and everyone in it sucks. But with you he has an unbelievable amount of patience, he’ll retort with sarcasm but is a natural problem solver and is always ready to talk it out.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Donnie comes off as absent minded, but he will remember every single little detail about you. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had a little notebook or journal filled with information about you and your likes, dislikes, random facts and etc.

Donnie’s the type of person to know and remember facts about you that you’ve long forgotten, he’ll buy you a t-shirt of a band that you mentioned liking three years ago and haven’t said anything about since.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Donnie is definitely a protective boyfriend, it comes from his paranoid outlook on the world. He would never forgive himself if you got hurt and he wasn’t there to protect you.

Although he isn’t a bodybuilder or anything he’ll speak up for you and maybe even resort to a little violence. (or if he’s feeling really crazy he’ll pull a gun out like in the movie)

As for you protecting him.. he’d appreciate you standing up for him but insist he doesn’t need it, if anything it’d make him a little embarrassed.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Donnie would definitely put effort into you, the fact that you’re with him in the first place amazes him and he doesn’t plan on losing you to laziness.

Most dates will be casual, if he feels like he wants to treat you to something nicer he’ll work hard for it. His love language is primarily physical touch and gift giving imo, so when he works he has a tendency to work just so he can provide for you since he has such simple needs himself.

As for everyday tasks, he believes in equality surrounding that type of thing. But if he notices you’re in a poor mood or feeling sad he’ll put in the effort to make sure you don’t need to strain yourself.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

The most obvious one here is his fluctuating and poor mental health, mental illness isn’t pretty. There’ll be times where he needs you at his lowest and he might push you away during it. That’s when you need to be there for him the most.

He also tends to be absent minded with your feelings, he might say or do something that makes you upset and not realise until you say something about it. This isn’t personal, he’s just very straightforward.

He’s definitely a little possessive too, not to the point where you’re unsafe but he’s terrified of losing you.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

This one is an interesting case.

He isn’t really worried with his looks but definitely has abit of a freak complex due to his illness and unpopularity at school, he’ll appreciate when you compliment him. he needs it.

He might ask you what he can do to be more attractive, or if you’re really into him, the answer is obviously yes but he really could do with an ego boost.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Donnie isn’t interested in superficial people, if you can’t have an interesting discussion with him he’ll be turned off immediately. He also enjoys someone who’s at least somewhat reliable, you can have your own issues and mental illness but at the end of the day if you’re a complete mess in all areas he may just end up feeling like he can’t give you what you need.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Besides the obvious sleep walking, donnie is a heavy sleeper. He doesn’t snore or anything but he definitely mumbles and grumbles throughout the night, he also will unconsciously hug and cuddle you for warmth.

Donnie may also experience frequent nightmares, if he wakes up from a really bad one he might wake you up for comfort

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Annnnnd finished! i hope you guys enjoyed. If anyone is interested in an NSFW version please head to my ask box!

partially proof read ;9

[xenosagaepisodeone]

more on that post from yesterday, I feel as if people who grew up needing to manually learn social rules due to neurodivergence are often susceptible to a kind of cynicism that (ironically) normietypicals don't necessarily subscribe to. it makes sense, once you pick up on the social hierarchy built in to a lot of spaces, it can make social relationships seem transactional and hollow. if you aren't surrounded by people who have your interests/opinions/habits/etc, the only value in fitting in is the emotional experience of being a part of a crowd and how much your "I Am Normal" self-concept is validated. there's also the pride in realizing that you've figured out "the rules" unlike your peers who may not be as socially adept. socializing becomes a game you can "win" in the kind of way you win trivial pursuit, except if the only subject was arbitrary social norms.

i'd say the biggest disservice people do to themselves when contorting themselves this way is losing the ability to recognize that some adults are just unpleasant, not a reflection of the world at large. most of the time when you do a social faux pas, there's normally a way to ameliorate the situation (with the obvious exception of like, exclusive settings, networking or work events where social conduct is part of the package you're selling). if you've internalized heirarchical thinking however, you'll come to believe that you've lost the interaction- that everyone has now seen you for the awkward autist you spend every waking moment repressing. you don't need to do this! people outside of particular circumstances do not see socializing as a game to win. if you keep talking and are kind, understanding and considerate, it's small potatoes- but you need to commit to the bit. other people intuit "the rules", but they aren't actually as committed to most of them as you think (a lot of them don't even fully understand why they exist, they just know it's what you're "supposed" to do). a situation I've observed more than once was someone who had deeply wound themselves around a set of behaviors finding themselves frustratingly confounded when a newcomer with some behavioral quirks was well-accepted by their group. as it turns out, whatever punishment your parents or schools dolled out for your eccentricities don't necessarily carry over to people who are actually compassionate and understanding in the adult world LOL. you poison yourself by believing that hierarchy and being boring is intrinsic to "normal people".

I don't know though, maybe social interactions only work for me in spite of my shortcomings because everyone thinks I'm a pretty princess

[raina-at]

Fic writer meme

Thank you so much for tagging me @discordantwords.

How many works do you have on ao3? 34. 6 SPN RPF (J2), 1 Supernatural (Wincest - if you have opinions about this, I don't want to hear them), and 27 for BBC Sherlock. I feel compelled to add though that my fandom history predates AO3 by about ten years, and that most of the fics I wrote during that time aren't on AO3. All of my TPM fics, all of my HP fics and most of my Supernatural fics are in fact not on Ao3. So I actually have no idea how many fics I've written since I started in 2001.

What’s your total word count? 585,261 words.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Don't Read the Last Page, Bakers with Benefits, Running Obliquely, Guess Who's Coming to Christmas Dinner and All I Want for Christmas (is Proof) (you guys really like my Christmas fics :-))

Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

Yes, I love comments, and I love getting into dialogue with readers about their interpretation of the characters and canon! I try to answer everyone, if I ever forget to answer, I'm really sorry!

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Um... None?

Of the ones on AO3 that is. I once wrote a Supernatural fic where Sam was a ghost and Dean had to exorcise him and it was heavily implied that Dean would commit suicide as soon as that was done, so that was pretty dark. And I wrote 2 Supernatural post Apocalypse fics that end well but the setting is very bleak.

But all my new stuff, especially all my Johnlock stuff, has happy endings.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Probably Bakers with Benefits. Sherlock gets everything he wants, including John, and they basically live happily ever after. But like I said, all my fics end happily.

Do you write crossovers?

I haven't yet, but that doesn't mean I won't, one of these days. I wrote a Bake Off Sherlock AU, but crossovers means having characters from both canons, and I re-cast both hosts and jurors, so it probably doesn't count.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

No, thankfully not. I've received a few odd comments here and there, but I never had the feeling that they were mailcious, just tone deaf.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, I do. Mostly of the vanilla kind, I'm not super kinky, and I'm not much for writing PWPs these days, but I like a good, spicy sex scene that shows you something about the characters and their dynamic. And sometimes it's just hawt. Which is also fine.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I heard a story once that someone stole one of my J2 fics and turned into a Het Degrassi fic, but I could never verify this claim because the fic got deleted. Other than that, not that I know of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, several, and it's a great honour.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, mostly with my wife @nuttersinc, we co-wrote an entire fic series and some other, smaller fics, and we once at a Boondock Saints RPG (I know. I know.) I haven't co-written with anyone in ages, and I'm not sure how good I would be at it these days, since I'm a pantser and don't have very much time, so I think I'd drive anyone with a regular writing schedule bananas. But I'm open to try.

What's your all-time favourite ship?

All time.... omg... Ok, so mirroring @discordantwords here, I adore Mulder and Scully still. They're the OG ship for me, they were the first pairing I read fanfic for. They'e such a good example of The Dynamic (repressed bisexual disguising as the "normal" one when they're just a more adapted sort of crazy and socially awkward genius crazy himbo the normal one has to save all the time). Scully especially owns my heart, I love her, and Gillian Anderson is, like. So. Hot.

But Sherlock and John... they're just... so GOOD. You can do anything with them. You can put them in any scenario, any time, any space, and they're just so magnetically drawn to each other, they complement each other so well and they're so bad and so good for each other... I love them. So much.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Oh, quite a few. The one where John is Sherlock's neighbour and they have this 'we're just friends' dynamic and everyone thinks they should just get married, including Rosie, who's a sassy teen in this fic. It's got a lot of potential but I don't think I'll ever finish it.

What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm good at dialogue and character dynamics. I think I'm also good at building character arcs, and I think I'm good at setting scenes and making oblivious idiots fall in love.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm not the greates plot writer in the world. It takes me much more effort than writing a fic where, say, Sherlock and John have breakfast and talk, to pick a random example. I tend to lose the thread of the plot because I start writing the vibe before I have everything figured out, so I tend to get 'stranded' at some point. That's why my WIP folder looks the way it does.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I don't attempt it if I don't have a native speaker to look it over and tell me if it's correct. (if the other language isn't German, which is my native language).

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Roswell (the one from the early 2000s, not Roswell New Mexico. Yes, I'm a Fandom Old.)

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

None, honestly. If I wanted to write for a fandom or ship, I would.

What's your favourite fic you've written?

Oh my god I'm not sure I can answer that. I really like all of my fics, and I love most of them still. Some were such fun to write, some harder but the hardship made them more beloved.

I'll probably have to go for Bakers with Benefits, though, because I still like to re-visit that 'verse and I just LOVE these two.

That was fun! I'm tagging anyone who wants to do this, but especially @jrow @meetinginsamarra @lisbeth-kk and @thetimemoves

[st-el-la-luna]

Thinking about König

Mainly, thinking about his anxiety being like my anxiety. It's social anxiety but more than the "oh no, people, scary!" That people tend to generalize it as.

That's not to say that it isn't like that. Yes, people are intimidating, especially large groups of them. Or if you're being put in a command position. Or if you're in a position to be judged... Which is most situations. (Public speaking, especially for school projects is especially bad).

But it's not just shyness. It's also the aversion.

Walking through the halls, with a dead sort of stare. Not intentionally intimidating, but it's very much a resting bitch face, look at me and I'll kill you sort of expression.

Saying as little as possible to people he's not comfortable with.

"yes."

"no."

"I don't like that."

"I don't want to."

"we are not friends."

Staring so intently at people that it unsettles them.

"-and that's why I think... Why... It's... Is everything okay, Colonel?"

"Ja, why?"

"You're, uh... You're looking very intently."

"This is just how I look. Eye contact is important."

"uhh... Right, it's just... I haven't seen you blink?"

"I blink when you blink."

Like, yes, of course there are situations where he gets mousy voiced or sweaty palms. But not at work, no. At work he's able to conjure up, maybe not confidence, but something.

At a restaurant though? Speaking softly, making himself small, saying please and thank you after every sentence. It doesn't matter what the server does, he's always soft spoken and polite, nervous. If he asks for no pickles and they bring him his dish with pickles, he'll eat it. If he orders a chicken sandwich and they bring him a burger, he'll eat it. If he tells them that he has a deadly peanut allergy and they bring him a tub of peanut butter... He'll send that back, but he'll be polite about it.

"Oh, ja, I'm sorry, I... This isn't what I ordered. Oh, no, no, it's okay, don't apologize. I'm sorry. You're busy. It's fine, I understand."

Sometimes during mission briefs he will randomly growl and smack his fist on the table. People think he's mad at them and straighten up, stop sipping so loud, on their best behaviour. He actually just got mad at himself, remembered something embarrassing from his past.

He almost acts like a narcissist. Passes by a mirror, winks at his reflection: "How's it going, good looking?"

Makes jokes about being the pretty one. People think he's full of himself.

He actually hates himself but has replaced negative self talk with show boating. He doesn't hate himself any less, but he tells himself to kill himself way less often!

Always has some sort of plan. An escape route, a plan of attack. Watching the people around him nervously.

Sits in the back of the room so he can watch everybody. Sits with his chair pushed far back so he can stand quicker.

Glares at people who walk by. Gives their dogs heart eyes. Prays that the owners realize and ask him if he wants to say hello. He's too awkward to ask permission. And he's too angry looking for people to offer.

Represses lots of anger from incidents he feels he can't lash out in, goes batshit in training or on missions. (I used to do kick boxing, the gym people had to keep coming up to me and moving my punching bag back because I was hitting it too hard).

The kind of person to, when going to someone's house, immediately look for signs of a pet. If he finds it. The animal is now his best friend. Goes to a party hangs with the dog type of beat.

Thinks smoking pot would help him. But the idea makes him nervous. Which he thinks, smoking pot would help... But the idea of smoking pot makes him nervous. But he–

Will just lie to get out of shit.

"Hey, we're going to get drinks tonight, do you want to come?"

"ah, I can't... I promised to get dinner with a friend."

Goes home and enjoys a night alone.

Avoidant. Will just not do things that cause him stress. Hasn't been to the dentist in years because talking to the lady at reception makes him nervous. What if the phone signal is bad? What if it just keeps breaking up? What if she can't understand his accent? What if when he gets to the dentist they hate him for the state of his teeth? What if he goes to the dentist and they steal his teeth?! It's happened before! He's seen articles!

Gets adopted by extroverts by being unhinged.

"Hey, what are you thinking about?" Horangi asks.

"I heard that human meat tastes like pork... The best pork, actually." König says absently.

"Huh... And you know this why?"

"I was curious."

"okay... Let's go to dinner."

"Ja, let's."

A sort of dry air about him that comes off as a lack of empathy. But he's just got so much going on in his brain that he can't focus on emoting anything but augghskft.

Will stare off into space with a blend of the hundred yard stare and the most murderous expression known to man. He's not mad. He's just thinking.

Undiagnosed autism

Forgets people's names, gets to nervous to ask again. So he just calls everyone "you".

Acts cold and indifferent. He just really hates small talk, doesn't understand it. Why say something if it's not important? He doesn't care about your grandchildren. Or your wife. Or your morning.

Is the world's best host mainly out of fear. Asking if you need food or a drink or a blanket or if–

König who after confrontations, has to take a step back, hands shaking slightly. But who's also still super pissed and ready to throw punches at the drop of a hat

König who worries so much about physical affection that it just becomes too much. Hugs are suffocating, hands are held too tight, cuddling is like being smothers. But it takes him a long time to initiate anything. God forbid you initiate anything. Hug the man and he bluescreens

Please reblog to support my writing!

Masterlist

[jellybeanium124]

garlic soup (goop) ranked by how awkward they're all going to be about this new relationship dynamic from least to most awkward:

archie. archie is the rare type of autistic who's socially oblivious yet aware in exactly the right amounts (with a heaping dose of unending good vibes and nonchalance) to always come off as charming and affable instead of awkward. even when she's saying things that should by all rights be awkward and weird it never feels awkward. I think awkward archie is a rare sight to behold. she flirts with jim and basically stumbles ass backwards into dating the Nicest Man In The Entire World and the Badass Pirate Queen. she's ecstatic. she's thrilled. she's having a great time. she is not catching that this situation could be awkward.

jim. jim is dtf. they're best friends with olu and they clearly really like archie and flirts a little with zheng. jim was probably playing the intermediary role already, helping olu and archie get to know each other better, so adding zheng to the mix is easy peasy lemon squeezy. and jim doesn't mind a bit of awkwardness. did they handle visiting their nana in the best way? perhaps not, but while the awkwardness bothered them a little, they weren't that awkward.

olu. olu, bless his heart, can absolutely get awkward when romance is involved. let me point you to 1x02 and how he responds to the older man suggesting he's in love. olu absolutely has an awkward streak in him that comes out when relationships are involved. olu knows zheng has a very different personality from jim and archie. archie has never repressed a single thing in her life, and while jim can be repressed and secretive, they've opened up quite a bit. zheng is still repressed and archie and jim's loud and open approach to relationships could freak her out for many reasons (she doesn't have control of the situation, feelings are embarrassing), so he's going to be stressing a little at the beginning before everything's settled yet. he's going to be the one reminding the three of them about a little tool called "communication."

zheng. I love zheng with my whole heart and I love how awkward she also gets when it comes to her own feelings. I love how olu turns her into a teenage girl, almost. she's spent her entire life repressing her own emotions to come off as a badass, so they kinda didn't get a chance to develop past her teenage years, most likely. she's never had one good partner, let alone three, and it's absolutely going to be overwhelming. she's absolutely going to be freezing up and fumbling and being awkward until things settle.

[ladythornofrivia]

popsicle

pair: sanzu x reader

warnings: cheating, sanzu being naughty, and toxic husband with profanity, secret affair, mentions of depression, mentions of insecurities, sanzu being h*rny and flirty, sanzu being a douchebag, but still lovable in his own way.

a/n: sorry being inactive. i’ve been obsessed with Getou, hence I changed my username. oh yes, i also have an ao3 account, yay!

• On a hot summer day, you stayed at the house, waiting for your husband to come home. It happens quite often when you’re bored and repressed by the expectations of what it means to be a good wife. Cleaning, pampering, and the means of being a “tidy wife”.

• Your husband didn’t come home that night. The food you prepared went into the fridge or at the trash bin, sometimes you ate the whole meal to a point where a husband shames your big appetite. Kept bragging about how the girls in porn magazines have much better figure and features. You couldn’t help but to feel down. You know that in your heart the girls in magazines have more plastic than the ocean combine.

• One morning, you overheard him talking in his sleep, moaning, even. You didn’t want the noise so you slept on the couch. Though when you went to the bathroom, you overheard your husband talking, awake. You have no clue to who he was talking to, but his expression said otherwise. And it wasn’t promotion.

• The next morning, your husband was nowhere to be found. And feeling a little lonely, the urge to touch yourself from the tightness in your pajama pants, so you quickly went onto the couch, took off your clothes, and tried to find a pornographic video you could find on your phone. From there, you stumbled across the video, also in the couch, you find yourself watching a gorgeous man with long pink hair and teal eyes under the long white lashes, brutally pounding his dick inside the girl’s cunt. With a girl’s whiny moans, it was almost a deal breaker, but with a gorgeous man before your eyes, he winked at the camera and sped up his thrusts against her. You finger coated with cum, but it wasn’t enough. You wanted more. You wanted to be in the same position as the girl on the video.

• And with that, you found yourself lucky with enough time in the house, wanting to be seen on the internet. At first you posted videos and selfies on the account, taking three shots until finding a perfect photo, but decided to upload all of them together. Then you decided to become as a part-time cam girl. Doing a first video of masturbation was awkward at first. So you took a shower and put a lot of skincare to make an effort of looking flawless on screen first. The moment the awkward tension has gone down, you sat down, without undergarments, with your spread legs, your fingers dipped down into the hole as your breasts bounced for every movement shifted. Coming down from a high climax was real accomplishment, thus planning to have more brand new lingerie to tease the audience.

• The next morning, your account on the cam website blown up. Your cam girl views went viral through pornographic websites, your figure is and your skin are lustrous and flawless. Even on the tweets, you have gone viral—your body has gone viral. Many likes and many comments. And all the pornstars wanted to collab with you. Most of all, what got your attention is when Sanzu subtweeted your videos and commented on every single pictures you posted, praising you with dirtiest comments.

• Everything is perfect. Except the efforts of keeping secrecy from your husband, living as a double life will be impossible, unless blurting out that you’re making good money from the elicit websites. With your husband ignoring your existence, it should be easy, despite being hurtful by his intentions. At night, you waited for him to fall asleep to do your naughty sessions online. More views had gone up, and with your social media accounts, pornstars have bombarded you with not so flirting and thirsting. You ignored all of them except for the gorgeous man with pink hair who goes by the name of Sanzu. Sanzu is the most popular pornstar/camboy. Although you’ve seen him from the screen, you wanted to know what he sounds like.

•Even in your dreams, you dreamt of him fucking you in you and your husband’s bed. Everything were hopes and dreams, but then days changed when your friend decides to set up a group hangout, you and your friends hung out at the department store to wear for the karaoke. Accidentally bumping against a tall frame, you apologized immediately, you looked up and saw tall men in suits. When one was about to grip on your shirt, the other man stepped in and told the other guy to back off. You immediately noticed the long pink hair, but you have never seen a gorgeous face with diamond-shaped scars. Maybe you’ve mistaken the man for Sanzu. Maybe he isn’t Sanzu. He looks like him, but he looks terrifying.

• Though you weren’t the only one checking him out. Sanzu checked you out with a long teasing glimpse and gave a smirk. For a while it’s been awkward full of groups, but eventually you and Sanzu hit it off, hanging out and singing in the karaoke. Sanzu wanted to be alone with you; he figured out who you are based on your birthmark on your neck; your hair style tucked at the backside. He couldn’t help but to flirt with you more as you separated your ways from the group. Luckily your husband wasn’t home.

• Sanzu bought two popsicles—both strawberry flavored—a perfect way to savor the sweet, hot summer. As you relished the taste of popsicle, Sanzu couldn’t help but noticed your tongue swirling on the tip, then trailed down at the length. When he cleared his throat, you looked up at him, realizing what you’ve done, thus behaving like a good girl.

• You and Sanzu talked until he said, “I know who you are. I did my research after my own live stream. You’re (y/n), the girl with good grades and reputation, never drink or do drugs, never had sex, even with your husband. Your husband won’t be home for a while; he’s out with his mistress. He always leaves early and arrives here later at night.”

• You staggered, licking your lips as you stare at Sanzu drinking and eating the sight of him like a popsicle. “How did you know?”

• Sanzu chuckled, trailing his fingers onto your skin. “I know my ways of knowing everybody. You’re aware of the organization that controls the area you’re living in right now. I kill traitors and cheaters alike. Sanzu, second commander in Bonten, to King Mikey.”

• You figured it was Bonten, the infamous group who tries to patrol every street and buildings. Living in a shelter is too much of getting your naïveté to grow.

• “Open yourself up to me, and I can show you ways of what it means to have a man inside you,” he coerced, lifting your leg inch by inch.

• With a comply, you let Sanzu ripped its way into you with his cock, rocking his hips as your couch creaked. Moaning, your arms strapped around his muscled body, breathing and moaning into his ears. Sanzu chuckled, kissing your neckline. “Hold onto me, kitty. It’s going to be a bumpy ride. Just for a record, I don’t have condom with me.”

• His efforts on making you feel satisfied, your needs of pleasure came soon to an end, but you don’t want it to end. Sanzu felt sadness in you, so he gave you his phone number. But since you don’t have a smartphone—restricted by your husband, he gave you his spare phone, and has another one in his other pocket. And within days, you and Sanzu talked, as if you guys have known each other for a long time. Each time you texted Sanzu, you feel elated as if single. But feeling guilty each time your husband’s footsteps came. Hiding your double life and a phone from Sanzu wasn’t easy. Your husband wanted to spend time with you, but you declined and said you’re heading out for shopping groceries and clothes, when all you did was fucking Sanzu in his penthouse.

• After months on spending each other’s company, you came back into your house and your husband beaten you almost to death, saying how unreliable and liar you are. The next day, you couldn’t face Sanzu, but Sanzu figured out your husband beaten you up to a point he ordered his men to kidnap your husband and kill him without remorse. After that, for a while you haven’t seen your husband, not that you care, of course, and Sanzu eventually came into your place, notifying you of your husband’s passing. You knew your husband’s dead, and delved into Sanzu’s arms, crying.

•Kissing at the top of your hair, Sanzu said, “You should move in with me. Pack your most valuable things and we can fuck each other as long as we like. I can treat you better than that man. You’re special to me, (y/n). And I don’t ever plan on letting you go. I’ve seen the way you lick the popsicle, and I can’t help but feel a little jealous.” Thus he unveiled his mask, and kissed onto your lips, with a following of slow and sensual fucking—no cameras and live stream involved. Your life is in content with Sanzu, and with Sanzu, your freedom has been granted more than ever.

• “Get down on your knees,” he said, gripping your hair softly. “I want you to lick me like a popsicle.”

[spideyhexx]

jack prescott fact sheet

a list of random facts for jack (an OC), enjoy!

Jack Basil Prescott

32-34 years old

Family Law lawyer with his own law firm, based out of NYC

Originally from Pennsylvania

Bday is January 3rd (so he's' a capricorn)

Went to Penn State for undergrad (majored in philosophy, minored in history & accounting

An only child

Comes from an old money religious family

Both of his parents were in medical fields, before his father became a businessman and his mother a stay-at-home mom.

Despite that, he does not have much of a relationship with either

Went to private schools growing up

is closest to his Aunt Fiona, his father's sister

Has a ton of cousins and is always invited to outings with them (if he goes depends on what the outing is)

Has been a vegetarian since he was 22

Very specific skincare/vitamin/workout routine

Rarely listens to music, but when he does, it's jazz/classical/or Morissey or Johnny Cash or Billy Joel

best memories from childhood was when his aunt and grandmother took him to Knobels.

Diagnosed with OCD and takes medication for it (deals with erectile dysfunction from the medication)

Super no nonsense. Jack can be very blunt, very blank, very stoic.

Loves to cook (his favorites are soups, vegetable stir fry, stuffed peppers)

Has a calm sort of arrogance and anger

Dark blue is his favorite color

Always is dressing professionally. Besides suits, he wears slacks, long sleeved sweaters (mostly fitted), dress shoes, sweater vests, button downs, etc. No jewelry, just a watch.

prefers quiet nights in than going out

Uses tobacco vanille cologne

Used to smoke cigarettes, but still smokes socially on occasion

Has a sex toy collection, mostly for a partner than himself

Drools in his sleep

Sometimes takes melatonin to sleep

Did get a vasectomy at 25

Schedules in his calendar the days he can jerk off

Meal preps for his week

Lives in a nice apartment in Manhattan, styled modernly, but homely

Insanely internal and has a difficult time verbalizing his emotions, but he does show it through actions most of the time

love languages are quality time and acts of service

loves being called sir (in both a sexual and non-sexual context)

"Atta girl/boy," is commonly in his vocabulary

His favorite book is Ulysses by James Joyce (big reader)

Prefers winter, even has a soft spot for Christmas time, but is also cold to the touch more than half the time

Hates Halloween

His bluntness can come off insensitive and sometimes mean

Goes on solo vacations every year in the middle of January

Has a habit of biting too much at his lips

Whistles while he does errands/etc.

Sits widely (manspreads without meaning to)

Will correct your grammar like it's a reflex

Gets pains in his thighs and calves

Gets very awkward and stiff in certain social circumstances (family events, weddings)

Used to be a fuckboy in college until a girl he was seeing had a pregnancy scare, sense knocked into him after (was sexually repressed due to his growing up, then a fuckboy, then purposely repressed himself again)

Not a thrill-seeker but gets a high/power trip off of wins and succeeding within his career

Hates hockey for no real reason

Chronically offline (he has a LinkedIn, a twitter which he only frequents once or twice weekly, and an instagram with two posts from five years ago)

A strict, responsible, no bullshit, and good lawyer/boss

Has a vacation lakehouse in Pennsylvania

[itsmaferart]

About Yuri:

Funny thing is that most of us fans are expecting this arc to be the 'Yuri's redemption' arc…. And so…. was something like this…. or so. —I end up as a cry baby after being shot for saving the chihuahua girl- Honestly It's hard to expect that this arc was going to represent such an abrupt change. In SxF the characters suffer from a slow and steady process, at least the Forger's are like that…. So, Yuri will take a while to show the best (or worst) of himself.

One interesting thing about Yuri's character, —at least to me- is that you don't necessarily have to like him, in fact, it can be enjoyable to watch him squirm in frustration and pain when he fails (sabotaging Twiyor) because most of the time he's a huge jerk.

I think Yuri's purpose is to explore how negative country influences can brainwash vulnerable young people even if their intentions are genuinely noble. In the end they fill their brains with a bunch of propagandist garbage in exchange for them working for the government and helping them stay in power. That is, a person's genuine feelings about protecting a family can be severely influenced by the social and political context.

Seen that way, Yuri IS a victim of the war, and he is a rather weak prey, who instead of being seen as someone directly hurt by the government, works for them and is congratulated for his labor…. So, Yuri is not portrayed as a tragic being, with whom you feel sorry despite his bad actions (Like Billy with Red Circus), but on the contrary, you want to give him a good kicking.

However, despite all the negative things Endo exposes about Yuri (which is too much) he shows that he still has a good side to rescue: the love he feels for Yor (as twisted as it is) is a genuine love and superior to any order of the SSS. Because Yuri doesn't care about his government he cares about his sister, his only family.

The biggest problem… perhaps… is that the way Yuri sees his relationships outside of Yor, is very much influenced by the Ostanian mentality of gaining power, to supposedly protect his country (his sister)… when all he is really protecting is the stay of one group of people in control of a country

Endo always punishes Yuri for his bad actions, always looking for us to see him with a weirdo that causes heartburn because he....is very broken. But he also takes care to show us that underneath that mountain of awkward weirdness there is a good person…. even if he doesn't show it very often and so far it's only towards Yor

Yuri's head is full of garbage… governmental garbage and very wrong ideas about protecting

If we recall, a major basis for Yuri is his childhood, as he claims to "hate himself for feeling useless", for being a burden to Yor —Because, Yor doesn't work for her, he works for him— That's why he became obsessed with being an outstanding student and holding a position to repay all the work she did for him.

So Yuri's goal was to become someone important who has a lot of power to obtain the supposed power to protect his sister, (or so he wants to believe). But in Ostania the only way to be powerful is through economic and political means. Yuri and Yor were poor and orphans, therefore, being a military policeman gives him enough political and social power (from the shadows).

The lie is that the power of the SSS is not to protect its sister, not to protect its inhabitants, not even to protect a group of children imprisoned by terrorists. The SSS only protects the political leaders and their stay in power at the expense of the innocent.

Ostania's policy is repressive, violent and cruel -Violence is power, violence controls, intimidates and eliminates whoever crosses your path.. Creating the idea of the evil world outside and inside its borders, everyone is trash and that if something bad happens to them it is because they surely deserve it. The government is supposed to be the good guy, because it protects, but it only protects itself.

His intentions are genuine but his methods are going in entirely the wrong direction. Yuri wants to do what is 'necessary' to create a safer world for his sister but the power he has and is wielding does not create a more peaceful world, but a more violent, hostile and resentful one.

But he has not yet understood the difference

.

The most interesting thing in Yuri's possible evolution is to find the difference between what he actually protects and the way he does it. He can't make the world safer for his sister if he can't even make the world safer for a child...And the SSS way is definitely not!!

So Yuri is a huge idiot Yes! …. but he still has the capacity to change for the better (or worse). Knowing that he felt a shred of empathy for the slanderer because he showed he cared about his family, and especially... He genuinely went to help save Anya (for Yor), his will for his niece is very weak, but at least I think it's a little seed change for the non-favorite uncle

[sol-consort]

im obsessed with the line from allers about creepy turian fan mail. love letters that are so sentimental and tender they cross over into frightening. being way too intimate in writing to someone who barely knows them, if at all. it's so fun🌹

A well-structured society built on self-control, service of others, and utter devotion to the cause makes the best soldiers in the galaxy. The most efficient and organised military.

but...as an unforseen consequence, turians have absolutely zero chill.

"As uptight as a turian" is a common galactic phrase for a reason. It's hard for them to come off as casual. More often than not, it results in awkward encounters in their sincere-but-misinformed attempts at befriending the other species.

Their social awareness covers all the appropriate terminology to address your superior, a fellow man in arms, innocent civilians, an unruly enemy, they even have a whole script on addressing a once fellow soldier turned enemy.

But not friends.

It doesn't extend to coming up with good pick-up lines for the hot human at the bar, either.

All those feelings they keep repressed in order to be the ideal turian model have got to come out somewhere somehow.

The lines between "charmingly invested" and "intrusively creepy" tend to blend when it comes to a turian. They end up shooting themselves in the foot by either coming off too strong and intense or too cold and detached, depending on their self-restraint for the day.

Much like we need sunlight and physical touch or our mood inexplicably sours. Turians need to blow off steam every so often in order to remain the epitome of discipline, or they will grow agitated and feral.

And if a cute human celebrity catches their eye, oh, you've earned a loyal turian fan for life. The creepiest war-nerds fans you'll ever have, but immensely devoted.

Making the most hardcore fans you'll ever meet. Their admiration tethering on the edge of obsessing. Their fanmail is shamelessly intrusive and overwhelmingly intimate.

Pouring all of their intensity into this one person that they decided to worship for life. There is determination in their step, head fringes more puffed, talons shinier, shots more precise than ever. A noticeable improvement in their health and performance ever since they started writing you weekly letters.

Greatly detailing the events of their last dream where a batarian group kidnapped you and their team was tasked by the government to rescue the human celebrity, instead of the human military because "turians just do it better"—how you ended up clinging to their arms as they carried you to safety, calling them your hero, looking in awe at their sharp talons, asking if you can touch them. The sensual kiss that followed, your cute pink human tongue, oh so short, their longer blueish one easily covering it whole.

—only for their eyes to snap open, looking up at the ceiling, laying on their bed, alone.

The sound of their purring filling the room whole, they've never heard it that loud before, the vibration in their throat is overwhelmingly intense.

The taste of your lips at the tip of their tongue, their soft sensation ghosting over their hard shell.

As for the reminder of the letter, they mention all their favourite moments in your last interview. They made one of your shots during it their omni-tool background! They're absolutely in love with your new wardrobe. Human fashion is so eyecatching and tantalising, especially the colour you wore in the interview. Did you know its the same colour as their clan tattoo? What a small world, or maybe it's fate? You'd look amazing in anything, actually. Even nude, especially that. Sometimes, you wear really tight shorts and flimsy tops, and they picture a vivid image of the silhouette of your soft body underneath. By the spirits, how are humans so plump?