#sobbing on the floor rn i’m not even joking

[iheartjameshetfield]

THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT OH MY GOD I CANT BREATEH I NEED THIS MAN SO BAD HES SO FUCKING FINE BRO WHAT THE SHIT I’M FR SCREAMING AND CRYING AND MOANING AND CRYING SOME MORE CUZ OH MY FUCK???

[merlucide]

BLLK BOYS WHEN THEY FIND READER CRYING HC

notes: 101% self insert lmao 😭 I wrote this a few months ago I’m fine now

characters: Shidou, Sendou, Ness

warnings: mental breakdowns, sobbing ig, ness’s part

not proofread I’ll do it laterrrrrrr bllk mlist

SHIDOU RYUSEI

Shidou does a double take when he sees you crying alone. Immediately crouches down and takes your face in his hands. 

First instinct when he sees you is to go find the person who made you cry and beat the shit out of them. 

“Who the hell do I need to beat up ?!” and hastily wipes your tears when you just sob harder “Oh baby why ya cryin’?” 

When you don’t reply and just pull him closer he shuts up and holds you tightly.

Shidou puts you in his lap and rests his head against yours

shushes you while you soak his shirt, he doesn’t mind.

Its stresses him out that he doesn’t know the cause of your breakdown

When you calm down a bit, he’ll try to get some answers from you, but he’ll stop when you say you can’t talk about it right now.

In hopes of cheering you up he whips out some ice cream/comfort food

He’ll talk to you about anything and everything to take your mind off it— probably say some awful jokes while he’s at it

When you feel better and start talking/venting he just sits and listens

It breaks his heart to see you so distraught, Shidou would go to the ends of the earth and beyond for you happiness.

He will try to help you anyway he can (it’ll be a bit rough around the edges but he cares)

“You are alright sweets, this is nothin’ you can’t handle.”

“..Now if anyone makes you cry like this— I’ll go fuck em up”

SENDOU SHUTO

literally freaks out when he finds you on the floor crying.

He immediately goes to you and holds your arms and panically asks what happened.

He’ll just pull you into him and hold you rubbing your back up and down while you cry.

He’ll repeat over and over again “It’s okay, you’re okay”

He will hold you for as long as you need.

Sendou is an emotional person, and he feels for you so so very much. It breaks his heart seeing you so distraught and tired. 

He knows the feelings— being overwhelmed, stressed, and afraid. 

And he will help you any possible way he can

Is panicking sm

runs a bath for you and puts some calming salts in

will wash your hair (if you’re comfortable— otherwise he’d order/make your fav food)

He puts your fresh clothes in dryer so they are nice and warm for you

Sendou brushes/dries your hair for you while you watch your fav movie/show

If you wanna talk about he will listen, if you don’t that’s fine too, and if you want comfort— well then he’s just the best for that

“You are doing so, so great, and I’m so proud of you. It’s okay to feel this way—this is only temporary, and you can and will get through this.”

ALEXIS NESS

eh possible tw ?? it’s just ness being crazy but yk // more about ness having a breakdown than reader 😭 yandere?? help i dunno

⚠️Also wrote his part when I wasn’t having a breakdown so it doesn’t have the same energy iykwm?? 🤷‍♂️😭

okay

So like when ness sees you cry about something mundane, he simple wants to die

So when he sees you sobbing absolutely hysterically, clutched onto the floor. He’s completely and utterly shattered inside and out and suddenly oxygen does not exist

He falls to his knees desperately asking you what’s wrong

Though even though Ness is losing it rn, he still is very gentle with you

Trying not to be to loud— and always gentle with his touch

— His response isn’t exactly what you needed (at all) but when life give ya lemons .. 🫠

he isn’t even touching you right now, he wants to though, REALLY wants to

he is so ready to commit 1st-degree murder

When you grab his shirt he snaps out of his head and pulls you into him, petting your hair and soothing you

He is crying at this point btw

He’s like rocking you both back and forth softly

When you (both) have calmed down he’d start interrogating  you, which was not helpful

You’d tell him you don’t want to talk about it— which he’d understand but still desperately want answers

He’d take you to your bed and get you all comfortable

He’d light some candles and give you a massage

If you end up telling him what’s  the problem his heart breaks all over again

You shouldn’t ever have to feel this tired and distraught

He’d do anything he could to help the situation/you 

..

but just saying if it’s cause of a person …. Lmao they ARE not seeing the light of day 😭 (if your upset bc of someone, don’t ever tell him)

“My dearest are you alright now? If you ever feel like this again tell me. You should never have to suffer alone, lay your troubles on me my love”

bllk mlist

help I added ness bc it felt to short to post with out another but Ness’s sucks ass 😭😭 sorry dawgs….

Made Sept 9th 2024

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

jjk chapter 253 spoilers under the cut !!

WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS CHAPTER…….. 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 one of my favs in a while i think IT WAS SO SO GOODDDDDD

FIRST OF ALL. GOJO CRUMBS 😭😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺😞😞😞😞😞😭😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺😞😞😞😞😞😭😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺😞😞😞😞😞😭😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺😞😞😞😞😞 I CRIED I SOBBED I STARTED WRITHING ON THE FLOOR IN AGONY……. OUR SWEETIE………

HE’S SOOOO CUTE…. :(((( blindfolded gojo is my favorite ever he’s SO baby…….. i miss him sm it hurts i almost teared up seeing this panel that isn’t normal human behavior 😔😔 ”don’tcha think?” SIR PLS STOPPP…….. :((((( silly little goose…… i need to kiss him all over his pretty face just to hear him giggle (doctors surround me w syringes from all sides)

ok but gojo aside (come home baby the cats miss u 💔) MAKI????????? MY GODDESS?? i ADORE the fight between her and sukuna …. she looks completely feral i’m so enamored <333 wild raccoon coded <3333

and also…… the dynamic between these two……. 😵‍💫😵‍💫 maki being the only one since gojo who sukuna seems to be taking seriously/having genuine fun with???? (all the parallels between maki and gojo have been KILLING me i’m so glad akutami agrees w me that she’s his daughter ever <3) LIKE THAT’S SOOO SICK??? maki nation getting fed silly rn

”at its core, sorcery is all skin and flesh (…) that body of yours is all marrow and bone” BANGER ASS LINE EXCUSE ME??????????? AKUTAMI??????

but it’s also soooooo interesting isn’t it….. sukuna has always had a very specific view of sorcery and how it should be, and maki’s very existence completely goes against that ideal while simultaneously acting as a genuine threat to him… i think it���s so . insanely cool that he essentially views her as an alternative to sorcery?? and it forces him to revert back to the sorcery that he favours, just to prove that it’s superior (which is why he uses black flash for the first time!! at least that’s my read of it rn)…. IT’S JUST SO GOODDDD I’M EATING IT UP‼️‼️‼️

also sidenote kinda but but but . the sukuna theories…. abt him eating his twin……… if those are true then the sukuna/maki parallels are even MORE insane bc she had to sacrifice her own twin for the sake of survival/power but would undoubtedly choose mai over her newfound strenght every single time :(( while sukuna willingly chose strenght over companionship….. yeahhhh they make me ill

what else is there to say ……. kusakabe was there. PHDJDHDJF NO BUT WDYMMMM HE’S THE STRONGEST GRADE 1 SORCERER…… SINCE WHEN 😭😭😭 ??????

jokes aside i think it makes sense considering kusakabe just so happens to Know abt a bunch of stuff he shouldn’t know abt + somehow keeps surviving ???? but i still think it’s so funny how everyone is hyping him up while he’s like . I Am Not The Strongest 💀💀 he’s so funny actually…..

….. this is smth my fuckass brother said that unfortunately made a lot of sense + made me go completely insane but. maybe the reason kusakabe keeps trying to run away is bc he wants to stay alive for his sister….. :((( bc he needs to take care of her/doesn’t want to die and leave her alone the way her son did. sob. T_T that would be kind of a genius move on akutami’s part bc it changes his comedic moments to very heartwarming ones…. i’m actually rlly excited to see where this fight goes wahhhh

anyway back to gojo .

HE’S LITERALLY SOOOO BABY I CAN’T STAND HIM …. 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i don’t think akutami will ever truly understand how perfect this design is . like. there isn’t a single other character who perfectly manages to strike the balance between cute and handsome the way blindfolded gojo does . i’m sorry but it’s true. this is what the ideal male form looks like

[tigerplushh]

I know we all make jokes about depression but shit bro. It’s probably the worst thing I’ve ever experienced in my life. It’s literally like..??? I need to rant rn

(This is my rant about my personal experience with depression, I don’t speak for everyone with depression or anything like that. This is simply my experience) TW FOR MENTIONS OF DEPRESSION, SH, AND SUICIDE.

I was in a depressive episode earlier this year. From around December 2022 to may 2023. And Jesus Christ, bro.

Everything felt cold. I don’t know how else to describe it- very legitimately, it’s how people describe it to you. But it’s so different and real when you experience it first hand. Maybe it was because it was winter, but it all felt so cold and lonely. It very literally feels like you’re disconnected from everything, as in I feel like I wasn’t present for most of it. Like I was watching through a sort of screen in my head and acting based on what I know to be right, acting impulsively on second nature rather than thinking things out, being aware of my surroundings or what I was doing. Walking to places, listening to music, I wasn’t THERE. The only moments I ever felt aware of where I was or what I felt was when I had breakdowns, from arguments with my dad to when I self harmed, to when I had to scream and beg not to go into school. I remember sobbing on my bedroom floor, slits all over my arms, just begging to feel better. Literally desperately clawing and praying for any god that might possibly exist to make me genuinely happy, to make things go back to normal again. Honestly it feels distant when others describe it to you. When people talk to you about depression and etc, it’s completely normal to just say “I’m sorry you had to go through that” or something similar, something along those lines.

But when you actually experience it, it feels so personal. It feels like it’s you entirely, like there is no getting better: like everyone and everything is doomed and that you’ll never be happy again. Ofcourse, this isn’t true, but it’s what it FEELS like. And the physical affects of it?? I lost a lot of sleep because of breakdowns, and didn’t take good care of myself: went days without showering, eating, brushing my teeth or changing my clothes. It was constant fatigue, tiredness, this ache of pain and tiredness in my chest. I was very literally rotting away in my room. Every morning when I woke up, when I was supposed to go to school, my mum had an alarm with a particular noise set. Whenever I hear that alarm now, there’s a sort of ache of panic in my chest. Very reminiscent to the panic and overwhelming sadness I felt when I woke up every morning, knowing I would have to push on ANOTHER day with this aching feeling. It’s even worse when it seems that nobody understands: genuinely, if you have a friend who has experienced depression or is experiencing it, my only advice is listen. I wasn’t listened to, people didn’t understand how I was feeling and dismissed it as “hormones” or just “bad days”, but it was one of the lowest points in my life I think I’ve ever experienced. I don’t think I can genuinely convey or express how I would rather be thrown into a cage with a hungry lion than ever experience that again.

[that-transsexual-slytherin]

Untitled

Ship: Severus Snape x Gabriel Vesper (oc)

Word Count: 677

Summary: This is essentially word/emotion vomit written and made specifically for me, idc if Severus is a little ooc this character is my fucking security blanket rn. Ok. If other people like it then that's cool too ZHGAHAGH cws for sensory meltdown and a little bit of unsanitary

🗡️NO TERFS NO BIGOTS NO PROSHITTERS🗡️

It was not often that Severus Snape spent more time than needed in the shared staff rooms of Hogwarts, much preferring to take his breaks in his office and going so far as to keep his own coffee pot, kettle, and snacks there to put off visiting the staff rooms as much as possible. Still, when supplies dwindled, for example, tea bags, he would brave the possibility of lengthy conversations with his colleagues and stake out the nearest staff room.

He was doing one of these “errands” the day he found his assistant and partner huddled in the corner of the staff room he visited, sobbing into his sleeves and shaking violently. Abandoning the thoughts of replenishing his tea supply completely, he gently closed the door behind him and approached, his heels softly clicking against the stone floor.

“Gabriel,” he spoke in his usual low tone as he looked down at the man who had unexpectedly captured his heart. He crouched before him, even if his knees protested the position. “Gabriel, it’s me, Severus. Look up.”

Slowly, the head of short, dark hair lifted, revealing a red face streaked with tears and snot. Severus tch’d, producing a handkerchief from his pocket. “May I...?”

More tears squeezed from his reddened eyes as he shakily nodded. Severus reached forward and began wiping down Gabriel’s face, hushing him as he gasped and hiccuped at his touch. “What happened, who upset you?”

He did not respond, merely shaking his head from side to side. Severus put the handkerchief to his nose. “Blow.”

The honking noise of Gabriel blowing his nose filled the room. Coughing slightly, he finally, hoarsely whispered, “thank you.”

“Tell me what happened, where are your glasses?”

Gabriel’s lip trembled as he retrieved his wand. “Accio glasses.” They sped across the room and into his hand. “Too much...”

Sighing and groaning slightly as he shifted into a sitting position beside his partner, Severus held his free hand, speaking soft and full of concern. A side of him he would never let anyone else see. “Sensory issues?”

Gabriel nodded, squeezing tight.

“Do you want to come back to my office? Get you out of this harsh light?”

Gabriel nodded again and Severus hoisted himself to his feet, pulling him with him. He took his glasses and settled them onto his blotchy face before hesitating, his fingers briefly brushing against his hand... still, when Gabriel responded by gripping tightly, he knew there was no way around walking him to the dungeons without holding his hand the entire way.

“Alright. Come along.” He cleared his throat, leading him back through the halls. Thankfully, no one was out and about to expose his softness. Back in the safety of his office, he let Gabriel sit in his chair and wrapped his cloak around him, kissing his forehead. “Remember to breathe, Gabriel. That’s it.” He stroked his hair. “I’m sorry. I know, the world isn’t built for us, magical or muggle. Take as much time as you need.”

“Sev?”

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

He felt the colour in his own cheeks and echoed the words in a mutter, not quite used to expressing his feelings so bluntly. Acts of service came naturally, but to admit just how much he loved Gabriel seemed unfathomable. And to experience the genuine, unadulterated love Gabriel had for him was otherworldly. It was everything his heart had begged for from Lily, but now he could have it, all of this love was his, for him, as he was, without alteration or criticism.

He had tried to bar Gabriel’s initial advances, believing it to be another cruel joke the world had in store for him. He only finally gave him a chance because he never shied away from what Severus perceived as his ugliness, inside and out. Gabriel didn’t care what had happened in the past, nor did he care much for what was coming in the future. He loved and lived in the now. He called him a survivor. Now he had an even deeper reason to do so.

[unfilteredrealities]

I’m super scared. My lower right back hurts like a mofo and the last time it started hurting like that was back in 2016 during my Highschool A Level Exams…due to the subconscious stress I was going through.

WHAT STRESS AM I GOING THROUGH RN BODY THAT I AM NOT AWARE HUH??? TELL ME 😭

It’s so noticeable I can’t stand straight atm bcs my 2cm longer leg is giving it away bcs I have to hold it bend a bit so my 2cm short leg is like thriving and being straight and then only like that my back is straight wtf.

I’m so scared. Last time this happened it started gradually as well and then one night I started screaming and sobbing bcs no position on this earth helped me to find peace rest and sleep. I tried to lay with my legs up, with my legs bend, on my side, on my back, on my stomach, I even tried to sleep on the hard floor. Nothing.

I remember sobbing so gutterly and my mom trying to calm me down by giving me canned stewed pears to somehow help.

Well yeah turned out I had one leg longer than the other one by 2cm , that I have a bit of scoliosis, a bit of kyphosis, lombar something something disks a nerve or something, my leg was constantly going numb and giving me pins and needles after walking not even 200m.

I had to do daily gymnastics aka do exercises after the Williams program , indoor bicycling, massages etc etc.

I know I should keep my anxiety at a minimum bcs that doesn’t make it better it’s probably going to make it worse I think…

But dear lord 😭 WHAT APRIL FOOLS JOKE IS THAT FOR FUCKS SAKE BODY??? Chronic PAIN on this day??? WHYYYY argh 😣

Please send me good thoughts and positive vibes that this is going to fix on its own , and if you have any tips and tricks my fellow spoonies, please let me know 🙏🏻

[mikavlcs]

SHEDDING TEARS OF JOY BC OF THIS‼️

"What are you going to do with the stuffed animals?" Wednesday internally sighs at the ridiculousness of the question. There are very limited things you can do with stuffed animals.

"I'm going to give them to Yoko and Enid," you smile.

reader is so crazy for this, imagine not keeping all the stuffed animals you get??? insanity, actually

If you never remember, that's okay.

sure, bestie

But instead of growing closer like you did the first time, it feels like you're pulling further away.

Even so, Wednesday can't stop trying.

<33333

A lifetime together.

A lifetime with you.

The idea didn't displease Wednesday at all; if anything, the fact that it didn't was more disgruntling.

it’s starting to smell like fruit in here???

"This happens when I don't use my powers enough or use them too much. Air is generally made up of a lot of different gases but too little or too much of one causes disruptions in my body because the equilibrium between the air outside and the air inside my body isn't stabilized," you shrugged, holding the withered wisteria flowers in your hands that no longer shook. "I try not to if I can, but plants are a cheat way for me to expel and absorb air to find the equilibrium."

me nodding along while reading this, pretending to understand because i’m an idiot

"Wednesday, I don't know you—at least not anymore. I don't know what I felt about you before the accident...but that's gone. I'm not going to feel it just because you bring me to places that mattered to us. I don't remember it and I don’t understand it."

Stop talking.

Wednesday wants you to stop talking. She closes her eyes, turning her head away as if that would stop her from hearing your words.

You don't take the hint.

"I don't feel that way about you anymore."

smiling like a dumbass behind the register rn!

This is fine.

the way i immediately thought about that meme LMAO

Wednesday lifts her cello before violently smashing it into the floor, the body of it breaking in an uneven half, wood splitting into multiple pieces. The tailpiece cracks, and the strings snap, one of them into Wednesday's hand and cutting it.

Wednesday pushes her typewriter off her desk—she thrashes everything off her desk. Her beloved typewriter crashes into the floor, the carriage breaking off along with other various parts. Keys pop off, making a ruckus on the floor as they hit it, but it doesn't bring any relief.

NOOO LEAVE THE CELLO AND TYPEWRITER OUTTA THIS???

"It's okay, Wednesday, I swear," Enid whispers, rubbing Wednesday's back in soothing circles, even caressing her messy braids.

There's no heaving or loud sobbing, as that would be too much for the somber girl. Even so, Enid can feel the tears soak her neck and dampen her shoulder.

"It's not," Wednesday's voice is so raw, as if the girl had been violently sobbing. She clutches at Enid's back, her eyes blankly staring at the mess she's made of her room. Everything is out of place or broken.

It shouldn't be Enid here, but the person Wednesday wants will never show up.

"I don't have anyone anymore."

giggling and kicking my feet omfg 🥰💞

i love you for this, actually. like i will actually kiss you (no i won’t). this is my new favorite wednesday story. i know people will probably ask for another part with a happy ending...lame (joking...kinda), but even if you do decide to give this the Happy Ending, this is still 20/10. Peak literature. the only wednesday story ever!!! thanks for the healthy dose of angst van 😁🙏

—Just Last Lifetime | Two

Please do not copy, repost, or translate my work anywhere else.

Pairing: Wednesday Addams x Fem!Reader/OFC

Summary: Wednesday is determined to recreate the special moments of your relationship to revive your memories—to revive your feelings. But it becomes apparent that the same memories cannot be created twice.

Warnings: Heavy Angst. Heartbroken!Wednesday. DestinedToBeAlone!Wednesday. Amnesia. Flashbacks. Violent emotional outbursts.

PART ONE

Masterlist | Library Blog | AO3

Reminder there's no taglist but you can follow my library blog for notifications 💘

Note: so this is it! The end...haha unless...👀 lol jk...unless ☝️

Count: 4.9k

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷†⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

"We're going somewhere for our studies today."

You look curiously at Wednesday, clutching the straps of your backpack a little tighter at the sudden spring of information. 

Wednesday pretends to not notice your anxiousness, turning to walk off and expecting you to follow. She pays attention to the footsteps behind her, satisfied that you trail along despite clearly being reluctant. 

It's been easier to spend time with you lately, with Yoko being incredibly busy with her club activities, and Enid has been keeping herself busy on purpose to leave you with no choice but to spend time with Wednesday. 

Wednesday doesn't think you particularly hate spending time with her. You're always cordial and friendly. You've thanked her multiple times for taking the time to help you catch up on your studies and assistance with your current assignments. 

Just a few days ago, you gifted her 99% dark chocolate for all the help. Wednesday had been intrigued, thinking you recalled how she preferred the bitter taste. But the intrigue swiftly died when you informed her Enid let you know as you wanted to do something for her. 

It didn't matter. It was the fact alone that you went out of your way to give Wednesday something she'd like that mattered. 

"Where are we going?" You ask, your voice tinged with curiosity and wariness the further you walk past the school entrance, clearly leaving. "Are we actually studying?"

Wednesday's eyes peer to the corner of her eyes to look at you. 

"You study too much."

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷†⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷ 

Then.

"You spend too much time investigating, Wednesday." 

Wednesday didn't even look up at you as she continued to pack her backpack for the day. 

"I thought you were interested in coming along to find answers?" Wednesday's voice was dispassionate. There was a part of her that was tinged with annoyance that you constantly invited yourself along to her trips if you were just going to get sick of tagging along now. 

"I very much am, but we've clearly hit a wall and I'm not particularly looking forward to walking around in circles in the forest today," you pursed your lip but then smiled. "Why don't we take a little bit of a break today? If you really want to, we can continue investigating tonight instead."

"You're willing to sneak out?" Wednesday raised her brow at you. She thought you were ridiculous for trying to bargain with her. The investigation was important, and Wednesday had no desire to lose any time. 

She would investigate, and you were free to come along or not. 

"I'll break any rule for you, Wednesday."

You said it in such a natural way, and Wednesday found that she was unable to reply right away. She looked back down at the ground for a moment, blinking before she looked back up at you.

"Where are we going?"

Wednesday had several ideas of where you might take her. There was the music hall, the planetarium, or even the garden. But what she hadn't expected was that you'd take her to the carnival.

"You didn't get to enjoy it, right?" You asked as you stepped out of the taxi, paying the driver cash. Wednesday didn't answer, but you knew the answer. "I mean, probably hard to enjoy since you were chasing the Hyde and almost died after Rowan did."

That was another one of the reasons why Wednesday didn't mind that you came along with her investigations. You were the only person who believed her when she said Rowan was dead, despite also being of the people who saw him in the aftermath. 

When Wednesday asked why you believed her, you simply said she didn't come across as someone who would lie about it. So, if he was dead, he was dead. 

"I suppose," Wednesday looked at the carnival before her. It was moderately busy for a weekend, and she wasn't particularly interested in doing any of these mundane activities. 

"Alright," you clapped your hands, bringing Wednesday's attention to you. "We're on a mission today. I come here every year the carnival opens up to win the biggest prize, but my tickets were short since the carnival got cut short last time with the entire…situation."

"What are you trying to win?" Wednesday asked.

You grin at her, pointing far down the carnival with a specific booth. "That mini motorcycle."

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷†⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷ 

"This is rigged," Wednesday seethed, glaring at the booth worker who was nervously sweating ever since she approached. 

You laughed, grabbing Wednesday's attention and the relief of the worker. "I know, right? We're totally just losing money at this point."

It was a simple game. A gun with 9 rubber bullets and 10 balloons to pop, and you had to win 5 times in a row with no supernatural abilities to get enough tickets to win the motorcycle. 

It was not impossible, Wednesday knew that, but the balloons were not close enough where she could get away with hitting two with one rubber bullet. 

They've both spent $100 at this point and while Wednesday would get 9 of 10 balloons every time, you would hit one balloon before you missed every other shot, hitting the corner of the wooden target. 

As often as you refilled, it was starting to wear a dent. 

"You're terrible at this," Wednesday bluntly said, but you merely smiled and shrugged. 

A bit of wind was picking up, making the balloons circle around in their spot. Wednesday spotted her opportunity and chance when two balloons circled close enough towards each other, barely grazing. 

Wednesday timed it perfectly and shot her 9 bullets, using her last one to wait as they circled towards each other before shooting and getting them both. 

"Oh," you grinned. "That was really impressive." 

Wednesday didn't react to your praise, waiting for the worker to rotate the next round of balloons and repeating her actions while the wind continued. 

So far, Wednesday has won 4 times in a row. She had to pause as the wind died down, but it was sure to come back in a few moments.  

"What do you want if we both win?" You asked. "There's only one motorcycle, so you may have to settle for something else."

Wednesday snorted. "I'm not sure I should get my hopes up on getting anything." It was a dig at the fact you've been absolutely terrible with your shots.

"C'mon, Wednesday," you grinned. "Dream a little."

"I don't dream."

"Nightmare it up a little," you quickly rebuttal.

Wednesday sighed, looking at the prizes that hung and framed the booth. Outside of random useless knick knacks, there were just stuffed animals—which were also useless.

But Wednesday's eye caught on a large scorpion stuffed animal. She wasn't one for being sentimental, but this was as good as it would get.

"That," Wednesday pointed at the scorpion stuffed animal.

You looked at it, grinning as you knew the story behind it. "Sure thing."

The wind picked up again, and Wednesday took the opportunity to win the 5th time in a row. The booth worker, whom Wednesday also assumed was the owner, looked relieved and reluctant to hand over the mini-motorcycle.

"I don't want to stand here for hours," Wednesday deadpanned, having already spent 2 and a half hours winning this prize for you. You would be here for 2 and a half days at the rate you were going.

"We're just about finished," you told Wednesday, and she raises her brow, thinking you'd given up. 

But you slap down another $20 bill, smirking. Wednesday looked to your side of the targets and noticed the small dent you've managed to create with the rubber bullets. She narrowed her eyes, wondering if that was your plan all along. 

Wednesday gets her answer within minutes. Suddenly, you've turned into a master marksman, shooting every balloon precisely until you were down the last two side by side. You tilted your gun, aiming it at the target, where you created a dent in the side. When you shot the bullet, it shot inside the hole and bounced against the wood, flying out with just enough force to hit the two balloons from the side. 

Wednesday furrowed her brows in disbelief. 

It continued like that until you won 5 times in a row without pausing. The owner looked like he wanted to say something but merely rolled his eyes with a certain kind of fondness Wednesday was sure you earned over the years coming here. 

"The tickets get you two of these," the owner said, handing you two large scorpion stuffed animals.

"Did you have fun?" you grinned at Wednesday.

"It was passable," Wednesday admits, unable to fully say that even mundane activities like carnival games were interesting if she was with you. 

As you left the booth, you handed Wednesday the stuffed scorpions to hold while taking the mini motorcycle. 

"Look," you said. "Now your scorpion has a little friend to keep them company, or a little girlfriend," you wriggled your brows at her while Wednesday sighed, not commenting back.

She looks at the motorcycle and then at you. "Do you even know how to operate this?"

You smiled at Wednesday. "Not at all."

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷†⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷ 

Now.

The biggest prize of the carnival is still the mini motorcycle, as they don't change the award until next year. It seems they've stocked up since the last time the two of you were here. 

Wednesday knows you already have one, but it wouldn't hurt to have another one. 

You seem spirited to be at the carnival playing games, as it's obviously familiar to you. 

They walk up to the same booth with the same owner, who clearly recognizes them.

"Oh, not again," he sighs. "You're going to run me out of business. Any chance I can talk you out of winning again?"

You look confused, but when you see the motorcycle as the prize, a moment of recognition dawns on your face from the one in the corner of your room. "I've already won this," you slowly say as a confirmation but not as a memory. 

"Close," Wednesday drawls. "I won it."

You look confused as to why Wednesday would win the big prize for you, but before you question it, Wednesday speaks again. "It's time to repay the favor and win me one too."

You smile weakly as if the pressure is on, but you pick up the gun, studying the targets. The dent you created on the target was gone as the owner replaced it. You play a couple of rounds to get a feel of the game, while Wednesday puts little effort into her own game. It's unlikely there'd be wind again this time around. Even if Wednesday now knew the other method, it was something Wednesday hoped you would get on your own. 

As time goes on, you're starting to get the idea of how to win. It's rather satisfying to watch you get to the same conclusion. 

Wednesday takes her time achieving the same method as you. You're focused on your own game, not checking how Wednesday's faring. 

You both created a dent relatively around the same time before shooting in sync, winning 5 times in a row. 

The owner sighs, shaking his head and muttering about changing the rules about damaging the targets to win. Still, he hands you the motorcycle before asking what else you want.

"Uh," you hesitate, looking at the various prizes before you. Your eyes spot two stuffed animals that make you grin. "The bat and the wolf, please."

With the prizes in tow, the two of you leave the booth. 

"What are you going to do with the mini motorcycle?" You ask. 

"Teach you how to ride," Wednesday bluntly tells you. 

You look surprised. "Oh," you chuckled weakly. "Right, I guess I probably told you I wouldn't know how to ride one."

Wednesday doesn't know what to say about your comment, so she veers off topic. "What are you going to do with the stuffed animals?" Wednesday internally sighs at the ridiculousness of the question. There are very limited things you can do with stuffed animals. 

"I'm going to give them to Yoko and Enid," you smile. 

"Right," Wednesday mutters, feeling something bitter rise in her throat but unable to identify it. Despite coming here and doing it correspondingly, none of this feels the same. "Did you enjoy yourself?"

You shrug your shoulders before nodding. "It's not bad to take a break from studying."

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷†⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷ 

The second time Wednesday takes you somewhere, you give her a confused smile.

"I'm pretty behind on my classes still," you gently point out, hinting that you're not up for another day of playing hooky, and Wednesday concedes with a nod.

"I'm aware. We aren't taking a break today," Wednesday clarifies, "we're merely studying in a different scenery." 

The walk is silent as you follow Wednesday's lead. She takes you further down the river to an area you haven't explored before until you eventually reach a tall wisteria tree, probably the only one in Vermont, preserved with magic. 

"Wow," you breathe in awe, "I didn't know we had one so near campus."

The gothic girl is lost in her thoughts as she settles near the base of the tree, grabbing the books from her backpack on autopilot. 

You used to trail beside her, and now you always walk one step behind. 

It's something Wednesday noticed as she took you around various parts of the school during your study sessions in an attempt to recreate the memories. She knows you're starting to find her odd, but Wednesday can't afford to tell you what she's really trying to do.

Wednesday's goal wasn't necessarily to make you remember everything by taking you to these places that hold special memories. If you never remember, that's okay. What Wednesday wants is to recreate the memories in hopes they'll lead the two of you down the same path it did the first time.

But instead of growing closer like you did the first time, it feels like you're pulling further away. 

Even so, Wednesday can't stop trying. 

"Um," you mumble as you search through your notebooks. "I was hoping we could pick up where we left off on ancient languages?"

Wednesday nods, and the two of you delve into the usual strict business of studying. 

Everything is fine, and Wednesday is grading one of your practice sheets while you work on another. It's fine until she notices your trembling fingers. It's subtle as you were obviously trying to hide it, tightening your hands into fists and keeping them at your sides as you attentively look at the worksheet.

"I can't seem to understand the syntax—" you start to say but abruptly stop when Wednesday suddenly stands up, reaches up, and rips off a wisteria flower stock from the tree. She sits back down, reaching over and grabbing your wrist. The gentle squeezing of her hold prompts you to open your hand up, and Wednesday places wisteria stock into your hand.

The shaking stops, and Wednesday begins explaining the syntax to you without skipping a beat while you stare at her, stunned.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷†⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷ 

Then.

"Let's go to the wisteria tree," you were holding Wednesday's hand as you dragged her along. "Today is such a beautiful day, and your skin is way too fair—I mean pale—I mean pallor—to be out in the sun."

Wednesday merely gave you an unimpressed look. 

"Once again, you're disrupting my investigations. At this rate, it will take me a lifetime to solve the murders going on here," Wednesday's tone was disgruntled. "It would tarnish not only my reputation but also my ego, and I will make sure you die a miserable death for doing so."

"Ignoring the fact that everyone on campus would totally be dead," you turned around and grinned, "We'd have spent a lifetime together—before you killed me, of course."

You didn't add anything else to your words, but Wednesday could catch the insinuations between the lines. 

A lifetime together. 

A lifetime with you. 

The idea didn't displease Wednesday at all; if anything, the fact that it didn't was more disgruntling. 

A large wisteria tree appeared, and the two of you easily settled in. Wednesday was grateful that she had an inkling she should bring a book today in her bag. 

"I love this place," you sighed with happiness. "I can't believe you found this place, and I've never noticed it in the years I've been going here."

"It's colorful," Wednesday drawled in response. The flowers that grew were vibrant violet and lavender, something she thought was entirely putrid, but she knew you would love it. 

Wednesday was about to say something else when she noticed your fingers were shaking.

"What's wrong with your hands?" Wednesday asked with narrowed eyes.

You looked down, finding you were shaking, before clenching your hands into fists. "It's nothing, it just happens sometimes."

"It's not nothing," Wednesday seethed, angered that you would dare lie to her face. "Why is it shaking? What's wrong?"

You looked like you were debating something for a long moment before you asked her. "Can you grab me one of the wisteria flower stocks?"

Wednesday narrows her eyes at your avoidance, but she gets up, pulls a flower stock off from one of the branches, and passes it to you as she sits down.

"Why does it shake like that?" Wednesday demanded again.

"It's my power," you answer softly, wrapping your fingers around the flower. Wednesday watched as the flower in your handle steadily withered and died. You were smiling at her, but your eyes had a distinct melancholy look.

"This happens when I don't use my powers enough or use them too much. Air is generally made up of a lot of different gases but too little or too much of one causes disruptions in my body because the equilibrium between the air outside and the air inside my body isn't stabilized," you shrugged, holding the withered wisteria flowers in your hands that no longer shook. "I try not to if I can, but plants are a cheat way for me to expel and absorb air to find the equilibrium."

"Why not? It's obviously the most efficient way to stop the shaking," Wednesday frowned. 

You shrugged. "I don't think it's a good idea for people to realize there are drawbacks to my powers and how to fix them. It may start with plants, but people will eventually start fearing I can use people the same way."

"Can you?"

You quirked your lip in response, and Wednesday knew the answer. 

"Besides," you sighed, dropping the dead wisteria stock with a regretful frown. "Some plants are really beautiful. It's a shame to kill them."

Wednesday looked up at the hanging flowers and scrunched her nose in disgust. "I encourage you to kill this offensively colorful tree."

"When it makes you so miserable? I can't deprive you of that."

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷†⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷ 

Now.

The silence drags on too long, and your lack of response prompts Wednesday to look at you.

You're staring at her before Wednesday watches peer down at your hand, intensely in thought. There's a mix of disbelief and curiosity in your eyes, and Wednesday doesn't understand why. 

This was normal.

"Wednesday," you call her name softly, making Wednesday's eyes nearly flutter at the sound. But the next words make her freeze. "Was I in love with you?"

It's something in the way you say it, curious and accepting. Something rushes into Wednesday's chest like a stampede, and she realizes it's hope.

Your tone doesn't suggest you remember anything, but Wednesday rationalizes that it's fine. While it would be ideal that you remember everything, it's not a condition Wednesday holds. 

You’re biting your bottom lip, looking reluctant. The silence falls again and lingers until you speak up again, trying to be firm.

"Wednesday, I don't know you—at least not anymore. I don't know what I felt about you before the accident...but that's gone. I'm not going to feel it just because you bring me to places that mattered to us. I don't remember it and I don’t understand it."

Stop talking.

Wednesday wants you to stop talking. She closes her eyes, turning her head away as if that would stop her from hearing your words. 

You don't take the hint. 

"I don't feel that way about you anymore." 

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷†⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷ 

It was fine—it was. 

Wednesday spends the rest of her week doing various things. She writes, then she goes to the library; she briefly goes to the bee club until she can't stand Eugene's chattering and leaves. She goes on walks with Enid, who smartly avoids talking about you, and sometimes subjects herself to Xavier's monologuing and brooding in his art studio. 

Wednesday fills the days with various activities while simultaneously avoiding areas you'd be in. It's not that she's afraid of seeing you, but simply that she doesn't want to. 

This is fine. 

The day has come to an end, and the sun has long gone from the sky. Wednesday decides to return to her room and play the cello before bed.

This is for the best. 

Wednesday focuses her thoughts on her cello and what she'll play, and perhaps Thing will be there to turn the pages for her. 

It is meant to be this way. 

The room is dark when she enters, and Wednesday knows Enid is not around. There's a small feeling of relief that she doesn't need to face her roommate right now. 

The silence in the room feels jilting in a way Wednesday's not used to. She used to be content in the quiet...until you. Then she grew used to your presence and soft chatter around this hour. 

Wednesday clenches her fists.

Good riddance. 

You were a mistake, and you did her a favor by cutting ties. This was something Wednesday should've done herself a long time ago. 

Thing greets her on her bed, and she acknowledges him with a nod. She shreds off her backpack and changes out of her uniform before grabbing her cello and heading out onto the balcony.

The scuttling footsteps behind Wednesday tell her that Thing is quickly following. 

"Bring me the new music sheet to play," Wednesday directs. She needs to play something different that would require her focus instead of her usual repertoire, which would allow her mind to drift.

Wednesday starts playing immediately, eyes focusing on the notes she's playing while Thing diligently flips the pages for her. 

This is good.

This keeps her mind focused and sharp. Wednesday doesn't have time to think about anything else when she has to focus on what note she'll be playing next. 

Despite the new piece, though, Wednesday's mind begins to drift. She has to make a conscious effort to keep her focus on the music sheet in front of her, but you pop up in her mind interspersedly.

"Wednesday, I don't know you—at least not anymore."

Her fingers falter, her cello emitting a jagged sound from her mistake. It's so unbelievably frustrating. She hasn't ever made a mistake while playing her cello since she first started learning it as a child. Years and years have gone by without a single mistake, and it was all ruined because of you.

You plague her like a disease that festers under her skin. Wednesday's done her best to ignore you for days now. She's been ignoring the sight of you, the talks of you, and everything down to the thought of you. 

Yet, you were still there, underneath everything. You simmer like a slow boiling kettle until you can't be ignored anymore. 

Wednesday closes her eyes frustratingly, willing you to leave her mind. She threatens her brain to erase the thought of you. It'd clearly be so much easier to forget you. After all, look how simply you live now without a memory of Wednesday. 

But you don't go away. The memories remain with Wednesday, torturing her for what will likely be the rest of her life. 

This was not a form of torture Wednesday ever thought she'd have to endure. 

Wednesday opens her eyes and stands abruptly as she walks back inside. She didn't bother turning on the lights, and the only thing illuminating the room was the moonlight shining through the balcony.

"I don't feel that way about you anymore."

Wednesday clenches her jaw and tightens her grip on her cello. 

How entirely damning. 

Suddenly, a white-hot ball of rage forms in Wednesday's chest; everything she's been trying to push down for the last few days spills over. Emotions run a rampage inside her, unable to be controlled and ignored any longer. 

Wednesday lifts her cello before violently smashing it into the floor, the body of it breaking in an uneven half, wood splitting into multiple pieces. The tailpiece cracks, and the strings snap, one of them into Wednesday's hand and cutting it.

The rage and adrenaline in her body don't allow the pain to register, even if she can see the blood. 

How could you forget?

Wednesday begins destroying other parts of her side of the room—her bed, her clothes, her books. She pushes her wardrobe over and knocks over the chair at her desk, the loud banging ringing in her ears but not loud enough to cover the pain in her chest.

Thing scuttles back and forth in worry, but he cannot do anything to help his friend. He immediately leaves out the door with a mission. 

How could you not want to fall in love with her again?

Wednesday pushes her typewriter off her desk—she thrashes everything off her desk. Her beloved typewriter crashes into the floor, the carriage breaking off along with other various parts. Keys pop off, making a ruckus on the floor as they hit it, but it doesn't bring any relief. 

None of this is. 

Wednesday pulls open the drawer, grabs out her manuscript, and looks at the last few pages she's written. Viper falls in love with someone who helps her with her investigations, and Wednesday has written up to the part where Viper begrudgingly accepts that fact she has feelings for this person and accepts their confession. 

Wednesday has never gotten rid of any parts of her work all these years. Sure, she's done revisions and draft editing, but every scene down to its core idea has never been removed. Wednesday is a stern believer that every scene is meant to happen, and she cannot change the course of her writing when she looks back. 

But Wednesday begins to shred multiple pages. She shreds page after page but doesn't know when to stop. Should she stop before Viper gets involved with this person? 

Along with the anger settles in hollowness. 

It's the realization that even if Wednesday destroys these pages, she can't really undo the fact that Viper has met someone and fallen in love with them. 

How could you leave Wednesday to remember everything alone?

Wednesday hears the door open, but she doesn't turn around. 

"Wednesday?" Enid's voice is soft and unsure, full of concern. 

Wednesday doesn't answer. 

Enid steps further into the room, shutting the door behind her as she looks around. The room is a mess with so many broken items on the floor, but her side remains untouched, nearly down to the tape they removed ages ago. 

Enid is careful as she makes her way to Wednesday, the girl's shoulder tense with obvious rage. But even so, Enid knows her roommate would never hurt her. So, she places a hand on her roommate's shoulder when she's next to Wednesday. 

"Wednesday—"

Wednesday is quick to whip around and look at Enid with violently accusing eyes. "This is your fault," Wednesday spits out. "I wouldn't be feeling this—this loneliness if you haven't been spurring lies to me about love." The tone is filled with disgust at the last word.

Wednesday has never expressed any ounce of emotion that would allow her to scream at someone, but she wants to scream at Enid and can't. Even if she wanted to, her throat feels so raw with something Wednesday can only detect is the urge to cry. 

But even if Wednesday threatens her body to refrain from crying, the salty water spills from her eyes without permission. The spill and spill, even if Wednesday doesn't make a single sound. 

Enid doesn't care if Wednesday punches, stabs, or even kills her—she pulls Wednesday into a bone-crushing hug. Her roommate resists at first, pushing against Enid, but it's useless against her werewolf strength. Enid holds on, even as Wednesday's pushing turns into desperate clinging. 

Wednesday's tears are hot, and Enid knows logically tears are always hot, but she finds herself surprised they are. It's just another sign her roommate is all too human too. 

"It's okay, Wednesday, I swear," Enid whispers, rubbing Wednesday's back in soothing circles, even caressing her messy braids. 

There's no heaving or loud sobbing, as that would be too much for the somber girl. Even so, Enid can feel the tears soak her neck and dampen her shoulder. 

"It's not," Wednesday's voice is so raw, as if the girl had been violently sobbing. She clutches at Enid's back, her eyes blankly staring at the mess she's made of her room. Everything is out of place or broken. 

It shouldn't be Enid here, but the person Wednesday wants will never show up.

"I don't have anyone anymore."

[reaganseyebags]

Reagen with a S/O who just like. Admires her and everything she does?? Especially her work <33 like she could make the tiniest machine that does nothing and they would just go "that's literally so cool you are so smart and awesome and pretty and amazing I love you so much" and they just <333 reagen my beloved

Ahhh this is cute one!!

//SFW!!

So you have been Reagan’s partner for few weeks. Things are going smooth. She’s being very shy but you are quite the opposite. You just have to tell her how much you love her and her creations

At first she thought you were joking, she never really got any compliments on her work so she just wasn’t used to it.

But the positive comments just kept coming and coming until it broke her.

One day as she was fixing the mixer, you sat down next to her and watched with pure excitement.

“Damn Reagan. You are actually so talented- if my mixer broke I would just buy a new one but you? You are just trying to fix it. It’s so cute and awesome <3” you said with smile on you face.

Suddenly she stopped working and a quiet sob was coming from her.

You looked her face. She was crying. Still staring at that broken mixer with tears in her eyes. You panicked at that moment.

“What?! What’s wrong hun? Did you mess up? That’s ok we can just buy-“

“Nobody ever compliments my work reader” she didn’t let you even finish your sentence.

She set down all of her tools and sat on the cold kitchen floor. Head facing the floor.

Your heart broke at that moment. She doesn’t deserve any of this. All she deserves is love and endless support.

You sat down right in front of her, you hand reached her cheek. You cupped her soft cheek, stroking it slowly with your thumb. She leaned into your touch.

You two stayed like this for few moments until Reagan decided to sit in your lap. Her poor thin body was shaking.

You didn’t say anything, in fact you decided to speak with your action.

You wrapped your arms around her, putting her even closer to you.

She started sobbing again as she leaned her head into your neck.

“I’m so sorry my love that you had to go though all of this. I truly hope your work would be more appreciated.”

Your hand started stroking her back. She continued sobbing into your neck.

“I’m just,, so lucky to have you as my girlfriend. You are literally the most talented person I know. You can turn nothing into something-“

Your other hand reached her head, fingers massaging the skin. You still could hear sobs.

“I adore your creations Reagan. You inspire me to create as well. I drew a prototype for a new drone the other day”

At that the sobbing stopped. Reagan raised her head and looked directly into your eyes. That was pretty rare on it’s on considering she’s very anxious.

“Y-you mean that?”

You gave her a big loving smile.

“Yeah! Haha I love you your work just as much as I love you. And that’s a lot!!”

She couldn’t hold back her smile, you could see that.

“Don’t worry. I’m so bad with technology and programming that every you make is amazing in my eyes. “

“S-stop” she laughed.

“And don’t get me started on how pretty you are-“

“Stop!” She laughed even more. She pressed her forehead against yours.

You really just took the opportunity and went ahead to kiss her. She’s didn’t protest. She just let go of everything. You could feel her stress leaving though her lips.

You two broke apart for air. Your bodies were pressed together, in one warm embrace.

She pressed a little kiss on your cheek as a thank you. In response you pressed her even closer to you. Trying to breathe in her scent.

The wonder scent of your favorite nerd <3

Ohhh ok I hope this is alright. It’s pretty late rn and I’m very tired so yeah. Can’t really bring myself to write something complicated. Hope you enjoyed it hun! <3

[astrobei]

Quick! Tag your top favorite byler blogs (as many as you want) and tell my why you love them in one line to spread positivity on the dashboard and make someone's day!

YESSSSS ok buckle up everyone i have an excuse to Gush and these will Not just be one line sorry (i am not)

first and foremost, of course, my lovely lovely friends @bookinit02 @andiwriteordie @smoosnoom @wiseatom and @livsmessydoodles the MOST incredible and lovely people i have ever met in my life !! not only are they seriously the most talented writers and artists i have ever ever had the privilege of talking to, they are also just such kind and hilarious people and a solid 50% (at least) of the reason this community means as much to me as it does !! seriously so inspiring and uplifting and i look forward to talking to them every day because they never fail to make me laugh uncontrollably and inappropriately in public places, go give all their fics (and liv’s art) so much love RN bc they deserve it sm <3

@meanwillbyers my first Real mutual on st tumblr you are such a delight to see on my dash!! like actually mal is one of the funniest people Ever and such a talented artist AND writer like wtf . who let this happen 😭 has never had a bad take ever and is just generally such a refreshing name to see on my screen!

@lookslikefireflies literally she is such a talented writer, her will and max fic had me like . frothing at the mouth in tears on the bathroom floor NOT JOKING love love love seeing a message from u in my inbox or a comment from u on my fics, actually one of the sweetest ever and such a nice constant presence on my dash !!

@nancysglock HELLOOO wtf the first time i read one of her scripts it was over the summer and i dont remember which it was but i was SO EMOTIONAL WHEN I REALIZED IT WASN’T REAL omg but seriously so sweet i honestly geek out whenever you interact w my blog bc i’m such a fan LOL and the whiplash i get from your funny ask answers/posts vs ur scripts and rly well written gut-wrenching posts is so. wtf (<3)

@nnilkyway YELLING EVERY TIME HE POSTS ART seriously idk how u do it but the way u use color makes me gasp and i could probably sit there staring at anything u make for hours and hours,, and also they’re actually HILARIOUS yk when you find someone with your exact sense of humor and it is so extremely comforting and it feels like a warm hug,, literally what seeing ur posts on my dash is like i am sitting here patiently waiting for new nnilkyway content

@messrsbyler HOTTEST TAKES EVERRR and so many posts that never fail to make me sink to my knees and start sobbing SERIOUSLY one of the biggest brained people on this site,, also just extremely funny and sweet and i love getting messages/replies from you!! obsessed with you and your entire blog fr

this is by no means an exhaustive list, mostly just the people i interact w most on here! love u guys all so much, you seriously make it fun and exciting to be a part of the byler community, even when things r bleak and slow i always look forward to coming on here and talking to u !! thank u for giving me the motivation to keep writing fr <3

[bonkie-barnes]

Spoons

natasha romanoff x gn!reader

word count: 2.1k

warnings: chronic illness, mention of medicine, self deprecating thoughts

A/N: this is me 1000% projecting about my guilt that comes with my chronic illnesses. they're kicking my ass rn. this is a vent fic, but if you resonate with this at all, i hope you enjoy :)

- - -

Beep. Beep. Beep.

The alarm clock on Natasha’s bedside table has been going off for a full minute already. You merely roll over and cover your head with Natasha’s pillow. It smells like her.

You have absolutely no energy to get up, let alone reach across the bed to turn the alarm off. Your head feels heavy and your body aches something terrible.

The list of chores you have to do around the house today sits uncomfortably in the back of your mind. The list of friends who have texted you about making plans to hang out sits there too. The idea of staying in bed all day sounds more and more appealing by the second. You know this because the alarm is still blaring into the otherwise peaceful morning air.

Just as you’re gathering the strength to sit up and turn the alarm off, Natasha walks in. She looks at her watch and her brow furrows in confusion.

“What are you doing, sleepyhead?” she asks you with a little smirk. There is concern in her eyes, though she masks it well.

You’re both fully aware the alarm has been going off for seven minutes straight now.

“Just tired, love. You know how much work it takes to reach over,” you say in a joking manner, hopeful that you can get past this without worrying her too much.

Natasha eyes you suspiciously for a second before giving in.

“How was your workout?” you ask her sincerely.

As she starts rambling about her morning activities, you feel a sense of shame. You’ve barely managed to wake up in the time it’s taken her to complete a full workout routine. Hell, you couldn’t even find it in you to turn the alarm off.

You finally focus on her rant as it comes to an end. Natasha is looking at you expectantly. Shit. She’s asked you a question.

“Huh?” you grunt.

She chuckles before answering, “I asked if you were ever going to get up and get in the shower, stinky.”

You put on a fake smile but fail to meet her eyes, the shame eating you up. It has been a few days since your last shower, but it’s just so hard to find the strength and energy to get up and stand in one place for more than a minute or two.

If Natasha notices the far away look in your eyes and the grimace on your mouth, she doesn’t say anything.

After one of the quickest and most unproductive showers you’ve ever taken, you find Natasha waiting for you in the kitchen. She’s taken it upon herself to make breakfast for you both.

You kiss her cheek and thank her as you sit down at the table. The warm cup of coffee she sets down in front of you is a godsend. The warmth emitting from the cup helps to diminish the pain in your knuckles, if only slightly. You send up a silent prayer to whomever might be listening that the caffeine will help with the fatigue today instead of making you sick.

Natasha sits down in the chair next to you with her own plate. She runs her eyes over you in a scrutinizing manner. She wants to think you don’t notice, but you do.

Clearing your throat in hopes to take her focus off you, you ask about her plans for the day.

“Oh, you know, mostly just busy work. I have a ton of paperwork to get through,” she tells you through an exaggerated sigh. “What about you?”

The list of chores screams at you again. “Mostly just some things around the house. Grocery shopping, laundry, boring shit like that.”

Natasha hums around a sip of her coffee. It surprised you just how much cream and sugar she takes in hers. It’s just one of the many unpredictable things about her that made you fall in love.

“Super exciting. I hate to miss out,” she teases you.

You crack a smile to appease her. Inside, though, you realize just how little she understands. These errands seem so simple to her, when to you, they are the most daunting of tasks.

You’re brought out of your thoughts by Natasha standing up to take her plate to the sink. She comes back to kiss your cheek and let you know she’s going to go get ready, before walking out of the room.

You suspect the amount of housework you’ll get done today will be minimal, so you decide to at least make Natasha some lunch. Maybe it will lessen the disappointment she feels when she comes home to see everything exactly as it was when she left, you think.

Your plan is halted as you’re making her sandwich. The stupid cover on the peanut butter jar is stuck. You can’t open it for the life of you. The guilt comes in like a tidal wave. You can’t even do something as simple as make lunch for her, your brain supplies for you.

Natasha returns from getting ready to see you standing in the kitchen with a glare on your tired face.

“What’d the peanut butter do to you this time,” she jokes.

“I can’t.” Tears well up in your eyes.

She comes up to wrap you in a hug from behind. She softly asks, “What can’t you do?”

“I can’t open the jar,” you mutter softly, feeling overwhelmingly embarrassed.

“It’s okay, love. Let me help,” she tells you delicately before kissing the spot under your ear. She can tell this is affecting you more than usual and wishes for nothing more than to be able to take away your distress.

You mutter a thank you before continuing to make her sandwich. You pack everything into a bag and write a small note to finish it off. You know Natasha loves the little messages you leave her periodically, and nothing will stop you from trying to make her as happy as you can.

Goodbyes are said as you both wander closer to the door. Natasha makes sure to hold you longer and tighter than usual. You don’t comment on that.

The silence that encompasses the room as soon as the love of your life leaves is suffocating. You can feel the exhaustion from purely getting up and getting ready creeping up on you. Logically, you know that you shouldn’t overexert yourself, but the shame is eating you up. Already on a roll, might as well keep on going, you think to yourself.

You go back to your mental to-do list and debate what to start with. The grocery store doesn’t sound terrible. Some sun would do you some good. It’s been a few days since you’ve seen the world that exists outside of your house.

Wandering back to the bedroom to get your phone and shoes, you try to push the fatigue from your mind. In your attempt to block out the tiredness, you fail to recognize the ever-present pain in your joints increasing. It’s only when you sit down and bend over to put your shoes on that you register the feeling. Your hips ache severely; so much so, that you can’t hold your position long enough to get your shoe on your foot.

This seems to be the straw that breaks the camel’s back, seeing as you immediately burst into tears. The pain mixed with your inability to do basic, everyday activities completely overwhelms you as you break down.

There’s absolutely no chance that you’re going to complete this task, let alone all the other ones on your list. You let out a sigh as you stand up and shuffle to your room, phone and shoes forgotten in the living room.

You let the weight of your emotions crush you as you climb into bed and under the covers, your wife’s pillow clutched closely to your chest.

Your tears cease to stop, even as you succumb to the sleep you so desperately wished to hold onto this morning.

- - -

Natasha comes home to an eerily silent house. On any typical day, she would come home to the noise of your favorite show or music softly playing, whether it be from a speaker or from your guitar. Your shared house consistently was filled with life and sound. It was one of her favorite parts of her day; coming home to you in your own element, laughing or singing. You are her home.

This newfound silence has her exceptionally worried. Even on your bad days, there was at least a laugh track coming from the TV or the smell of hot chocolate coming from the kitchen. Now, there’s absolutely nothing. For a split second, Natasha thinks that you may never have come back from the grocery. Her heart rate spikes. The sight of your phone on the coffee table and your shoes strewn haphazardly on the floor puts those worries to rest.

“Darling?” she calls from the entryway. There is no response. She carefully removes her boots and coat before moving through every room in the house, calling out for you softly in each.

She makes her way to the bedroom, lightly knocking on the door as she lets herself in. She sees the rise and fall of your chest and is filled with a sense of relief she didn't know she needed.

"Love? Are you awake?"

You grumble out an answer that could be understood as a 'yes'.

Natasha carefully sits down on the side of the bed that you are facing.

"Can you tell me what's going on?" she requests softly, in fear of upsetting the quiet environment of the bedroom and making things worse.

The tears that started up again when you wife called out the first time get even heavier somehow.

"Oh love, come here."

She carefully gathers you in her arms and rests your head on her chest.

"Does this have anything to do with the peanut butter jar this morning?"

You nod. One of your favorite things about your wife is her ability to observe and understand what you're going through.

"I just can't do anything today. Everything hurts and I'm so, so tired," you whisper, followed by a heartbreaking sob.

"It's okay love. Please don't cry," Natasha whispers back.

"But it's not! It's not okay!" You sit up from her chest to let out your rant. "You've done so much today and I could barely wake up. You work so hard and I should be able to do stuff around the house so you can come home and not have to worry about anything," you finish with a sigh.

Your wife puts her hand under your chin, forcing you to look in her direction. "Love, look at me. Believe me when I say that I don't care about the state of the laundry or if the pantry has been stocked. All I care about is you. All I want is for you to be okay. It's killing me that you feel like this and I can't do anything to take it away from you. What I can do, though, is tell you just how proud I am of you. You are the strongest person I know, and I work with the Avengers."

You giggled at that. Natasha smiles at your small second of happiness.

"Are you sure? Because I was going to get so much done today and I was trying to-"

Natasha cuts you off with a soft kiss.

"My love. Listen to me. All I care about is your health and happiness. If staying in bed and catching up on sleep is what you needed today, then that's all I expect from you. I never want you to hurt yourself trying to do more than you can. We all have limits. It’s okay to need a break some days. I love you and I am so very, very proud of you."

With a long look into her eyes, all you find is love and adoration directed towards you. There's no disgust or disappointment as you had anticipated.

"I love you too," you utter quietly.

Natasha smiles and leaves a long kiss on your forehead. "What if we got some pain killers and some food in you? We can even put on your favorite movie. Does that sound good?"

You nod. Natasha gets up to get you some medicine and to order some food, while you get your favorite movie loaded on the TV.

Later that night, when both your stomachs are full and your wife is obnoxiously singing along to the songs in the movie just to make you laugh, you realize just how loved you are.

You don't know how tomorrow will treat you, or the day after that. What you do know, however, is that Natasha will always be there to support and love you. Your pain level and ability to function is always an uncertainty, but your wife's love will never be.

- - -

A/N: as always, i try to keep it gender neutral. if you find a mistake, please let me know! feedback is appreciated! to all my chronic illness buddies out there: i love you, you've got this :)

taglist: @007giu

[starlitangels]

His Shirt

I’m on some Elliott brainrot rn. We’ll be back to regularly-scheduled brainrot later. For now I’m rubbing salt in my own open wounds. 2.1k words CW: mentions of Sunshine’s car accident

—

Sunshine

“Eli...! Ohhh, Eliii,” I singsonged, a smile in my voice and a small giggle following the song. I let my fingers trail down the stubble on Elliott’s face. He’d forgotten to shave again. Something else I could tease him about. He hated stubble, but hated shaving with equal fervor.

Taking a deep breath, he dragged himself back to consciousness while I bit my lower lip to keep from smiling too wide.

His eyes widened in shock as he took me in.

I was wearing his shirt. The shirt I’d bought him for his birthday a few years ago. Purple—to bring out the color in his eyes, I’d joked—with a large Sweet Dreams Are Made of This slapped across the front in grey blocky letters. It was too long on me—he was taller—and hung nearly to my knees.

His gaze swept me up and down—and his ears reddened as he realized I was just in his shirt.

“Sunshine? What are you...?” He trailed off as I crawled onto his bed beside him, wrapping him up in a gentle embrace, bringing his head into my chest and kissing those loose dirty blond curls. For once not hiding under that beanie.

Don’t get me wrong: he looked hot with the beanie on. Always had. But his hair was so soft and so becoming on him. I loved it whenever he took the hat off.

I slid one hand up into his curls and tightened my fingers around it. He moaned softly. “Sunshine...” he whispered. “What are you doing?”

“I love you, Eli,” I breathed into his hair. “I love you, and I’m tired of pretending that we’re just friends.”

“No—sunshine—no,” he insisted, pushing me back, away from him. “Not like this. It’s not supposed to be like this.”

My chest stung with rejection. My eyes watered. I scrambled off his bed, shaking my head and furiously rubbing my eyes in the hopes that I could hide the tears from him.

“Sunshine—wait—I—I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings! I—”

Whatever the end of the sentence was, I didn’t hear it. I ran out of his room, throat constricted around a sob.

—

With a jolt, I bolted upright in bed. My bed. My room. My apartment.

Alone.

“Not again,” I groaned in complaint, letting my head fall backwards. I rubbed my forehead with the heel of my hand, trying to force the images out of my head. Cold sweat clung to my skin, making me shiver.

I glanced at the alarm clock on the table. 5:07AM.

I grumbled to myself and threw the covers off. The barest traces of a summer’s early dawn were desperately trying to peek through my blackout curtains.

The carpet was cold where I stormed out of my room and into the bathroom. I splashed my face with cold water—not bothering to wait around for it to warm up—and went back to my room after scrubbing off the sweat. I flopped down onto my bed dramatically.

Why did I keep dreaming about him like that? Elliott was my best friend. The only one who stuck with me unconditionally. The one who was always there for me, even when he wasn’t able to be there. It was wrong of me to keep dreaming about him. The sting of rejection hurt a lot less after I woke up, but my heart was still beating hard against my ribs.

I glanced down.

“Oh. Maybe that’s why.”

I was wearing one of his shirts to bed. It wasn’t my fault that he’d left it at my place after we’d gone swimming with a bunch of friends at Tasha’s house. It wasn’t my fault that he never asked for it back. To be honest, he’d probably convinced himself that the dryer ate it.

Sitting up, I stripped his shirt off. I’d had it for months and after several washes it didn’t smell like him anymore. Angrily, I waded it up into a ball and hurled it at my closet, where it barely missed the hamper sitting on the floor. I rolled my eyes and fell back against my pillows again. I squeezed my eyes shut and pressed the heels of my palms against them.

“Get it together, idiot,” I said out loud. “He’s your best friend. It doesn’t matter that you... flirt with each other all the time. He’s not interested in you like that. And he’s already dating someone.”

That reminder never seemed to stick. Probably because I was around him more than his partner was. But it was a long-distance thing. His magic, telepathic partner lived in Dahlia, down in southern California. And Eli was still here, at home, with me.

Heat travelled down my face, quickly cooling, as the tear fell off my cheek and landed on the bedsheets. God, I’m a f^&*ing mess, I thought, digging my fingertips into my forehead.

What kind of best friend was I? Pining for him rather than supporting the relationship he was already in? How petty was I that I took such relish in the fact that he called me a cute little nickname and not the Telepath he was dating?

A mess, indeed.

—

Cutie

“Please leave your message for—” 

The computerized voice switched to that familiar one. “This is Elliott. Leave a message.”

Beeeep!

I swallowed. “Hey, Eli. It’s me. I know it’s like five-AM in your timezone. You’re probably asleep. It’s, like, four-AM here, but I just got off a really late night of work.

“Listen. Um... call me back when you get this. I’ll leave my phone on.” I cleared my throat. “Bye.”

I hung up the call and dropped my phone onto my mattress. Closing my eyes, I rubbed my eyes with my fingertips. They were so sore from staring at a screen for so long.

Sighing, I leaned back on my bed.

—

Sunshine

My phone buzzed on my bedside table. 

Dreamboat: Felt you pulling at me really hard in the dreamscape last night. Everything okay?

My entire body burned with embarrassment. Fine. You didn’t stop by, did you?

Dreamboat: No. I was finishing up some work on a labyrinth for one of the new local Department heads and didn’t get the chance. I wanted to, but I couldn’t get finished before the pull vanished. I assume you woke up?

“Thank God,” I whispered. “He didn’t see.”

Yeah.

Dreamboat: What was the dream about? You were practically dragging me away from the labyrinth. Why were you thinking about me so hard?

How... how was I supposed to lie and make him believe it? He was so smart. Always had been. He’d always been able to see right through me. Just... know when something was on my mind.

Guess I really wanted some help painting my cabinets. And you’re the only person I trust.

Dreamboat: 😆 Why am I not surprised? Your dreams are always really crazy or dreadfully mundane and boring with no inbetween.

Shut up. We can’t all have magic.

His reply took a few minutes to arrive after that. During which I started typing, stopped, and deleted the message three separate times.

Dreamboat: You sure you’re okay, ☀️?

Yeah. Pinky promise.

Dreamboat: Okay. Let me know if you start having those nightmares again, yeah?

Yeah.

That wasn’t going to happen. Elliott didn’t need to be burdened with my problems. The nightmares about the accident were few and far between now, but they still crept up on me. Sometimes they were less scary than the... intimate dreams I had of my best friend, but both of them ended with me waking up covered in cold sweat.

And when he wasn’t working through the night, Elliott liked to spend his dreams with his partner. The fact that they could be as good as together at night was probably why they’d been dating so long despite the distance physically between them during the day.

I didn’t want to interrupt that. Much as my heart ached for him, I couldn’t do that to him.

I’m going back to bed. See you later, Eli.

Dreamboat: See ya, sunshine.

—

Cutie

I must have drifted off, because when my phone started ringing at full volume, mid-morning light was streaming into the room past curtains I’d forgotten to close.

Incoming Call... Eli💜

I answered. “Hey Eli,” I greeted.

“Hey. Got your voicemail. What’s up?” Elliott’s voice asked on the other side of the line.

I swallowed. “There... there’s no easy way to say this, but... I think we should go our separate ways. You’re incredible and amazing and sweet. And you’re going to make someone really happy. I just... I don’t think it’s going to be me. The long-distance thing just... it’s not working out for either of us.”

Silence on the other end of the line.

Sorry, Eli. One more gut punch, I thought. “And... I know why you’ve even put up with it for this long.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not stupid, Eli,” I said. “Even without using my magic, I know that you just dated me to try to get over your feelings for your best friend.”

“What?!”

“You care about them. More than you care for me. And that’s fine. You should. You’ve known them a hell of a lot longer than you’ve known me, and God you talked about them constantly whenever I visit you or you come to Dahlia to visit me. I read your mind, when we were together in the same place. Even if you weren’t talking about your friend constantly, you thought about them all the time. Sunshine’s favorite flower over there—that’s the store where Sunshine helped me find a present for my brother—oh, Sunshine would love that café here in Dahlia—yada yada yada.

“I tried, Eli. I wanted to make it work. I like you. You’re kind and caring and genuine and all three are a rare find for a Telepath. But we’re not gonna work. Not with you yearning for your friend. And it was fun, while we were in school, before I moved back to Dahlia. Thank you, for everything. But you should tell them about your feelings.” I cleared my throat again. “If it makes you feel any better, there’s a guy here in Dahlia that... I might be interested in seeing. Unempowered. Just like your friend. But he’s sweet and genuine and caring too. So don’t think us breaking up means you leaving me hanging out to dry alone while you go off and have your happily ever after or whatever. I’ll be okay, I promise.”

“Y... you’re sure.” It wasn’t a question.

I nodded, even though he couldn’t see it. “I’m sure. The dream dates were a blast. I really enjoyed them. Now go share them with that little ray of sunshine that you love so deeply.”

“Thank you. And... I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that.”

“You have nothing to apologize for, Elliott. Really. Go find your happiness.”

“Thank you. Again.”

“Yeah. Goodbye, Elliott. And thank you for everything.”

I hung up.

It would sting, for a while, probably. But it was for the best.

In my rush to answer Elliott’s call back, I hadn’t seen that a text had already been waiting on my phone that I’d slept through.

Geordi (Tetris Theme Guy): Any plans later?

Smiling, I texted him back.

Nope!

—

Sunshine

“Eli?” I asked, holding my phone up to my ear. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, why?”

“We were just texting and you decided to call. I assume something’s wrong.”

“No. Just wondering if you wanted to hang out tomorrow. I know you had some plans with your family today.”

“Sure. Everything okay?”

“Yeah. I mean, my partner just broke up with me but other than that—”

“Oh, Elliott! I’m sorry!” I hated how much I meant it, too.

“It’s fine, sunshine. We both agreed the distance made it too hard to be worth it. I’m honestly not too sad. A little disappointed, but not heartbroken.”

“I’ll be over tomorrow. I’ll bring the ice cream to drown your sorrows in, you bring the story.”

He chuckled on the other end of the line. “Sounds like a plan.”

“Oh. Also, I still have that blue shirt you left at my place when we went swimming at Tasha’s. Want it back?”

I wondered if it was cell signal delay or if he really hesitated answering. “Some other time. Don’t bother trying to remember it for tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

—

Two Months Later...

Elliott’s favorite cereal... Elliott’s favorite cereal... Elliott’s favorite cer—

“Hey buddy,” a voice said inches from my ear.

I swore and whirled. “Eli!” I shrieked.

He laughed. “Oh come on, I didn’t freak you out that bad.”

[universalistotalis]

Too Far

Angst!!!

Atsumu Miya x Female Reader

Word count: 1.5k

Loving Atsumu Miya was absolute bliss. You loved every second of his affection, his skin, his warmth, his laugh, and his jokes. That giant bastard may be a crackhead to his friends and family, but with you, his affectionate side just pops out of nowhere. His eyes filled with love when he looks at you. His arms opened so wide to envelope you in an embrace so tight, your feet lift up the floor with ease. His words laced with care and love with a hint of playfulness at the side and they never failed to make your insides scramble everytime.

You shake your head from the daydream that you’ve consistently been having since the start of the relationship.

God, you loved him so much, didn’t you? You gave your whole world to the man of your dreams. You sacrificed time, effort, patience, you name it, just to have one second by his side.

And because of that love, you became an absolute fool.

Who were you kidding, right? THE Great Atsumu Miya will never settle. Who were you to tame that wild beast? How special did you think you were when he had a sea of people under his spell, his command?

Just face it, you’re nothing to him.

And so you did. You left your shared apartment after waiting for him to come home for the nth time. Who knows where he was, who he’s with, what he’s doing. You were done thinking of an imaginary Atsumu who will love you wholeheartedly. That’s just not going to happen.

After many sobs and insecurities flooding in, you were ready to face the world again. Even more ready to face Atsumu. He’s nothing to you now. There were no grudges held in your heart. There were no tears in yours eyes. But more importantly, there was new love formed in your chest and that’s reserved for the most important person in your life. You.

“Damn, y/n!!! What happened to you?!” One of your friends cheered as you met to go to a club on a Friday night. Work was pretty hectic lately and you all agreed to a well- deserved night out.

“No kidding, you’re literally glowing!!!” Another hyped and slapped your ass playfully as you walked through the doors. “Let’s get wasted tonight!!!”

And my god, your whole group did. You all danced to your heart’s content, ordered liquor until your head got rid of all inhibitions, laughed at each other’s faces and jokes… overall, it was a night to remember.

“Y/n?” You heard a voice behind you followed by your right wrist being cased within the hands of another.

You were just on the verge of getting sober so you wonder if the image right in front of your eyes was real or not. He used to stand with his chest puffed out in confidence but now, he looked deflated. Under his eyes were dark circles, proof of him not sleeping well. His usual playful demeanor was gone and the man in front of you now looked so lost, confused… lonely.

“Atsumu?” You squinted, not believing the sight in front of you.

“It really is you.” He slurred and you had a whiff of liquor on his breath. “How have you been?”

“I’ve been doing great, Miya. Thanks.” You smiled, genuinely.

“Where’s my sweet nickname?” He joked. “You look so damn happy celebratin’ with yer friends tonight, huh? That happy to be rid of me, ain’t ya?” He chuckled darkly.

You were taken aback with what he said. What does he have to do with you having a great party?

“Miya, don’t do this right now. I have to go.” You tried to excuse yourself from his intrusion.

“I hate it. I hate it so goddamn much.” He whispered, closing the distance between you two and caged you on the wall behind. “I’ve been a mess since ya left, sweetheart. Seeing you having the time of your life makes me feel so damn angry. Am I that easy to forget?”

“Atsumu, I—“

“Come back to me.” He puffed. “Come back to me and I promise to treat ya right. I’ll do everythin’ ya want, just please… I love you.” His voice faltered at the end as whimpers of his cries followed. Never in your whole life did you think you’d see him break down because of you. But here he is! AND you never thought of hearing those three words with utmost sincerity from his lips. But again, here he is!

A nostalgic smile lifted from your lips and Atsumu stared at it for a while. The alcohol in his system was enough to make himself go haywire but your smile sent him spiraling. He meant what he said. He missed you to death. He needed you back.

“Come back to me, please.” He repeated and leaned his forehead on yours.

“I’m sorry, Miya.” You said as you held his face in your hands. “Thank you for being honest with me. But it’s too late. I’ve moved on from everything and you should too.”

His head violently shook no as more tears spilled from his eyes. He’ll do everything for you except let you go. “I’ll be better. Please, I’ll be better! I’ll try my best to keep ya, baby, that’s how much I love you! I can’t—“

“Then try your best with the next person because it won’t be me, Miya. I hope you understand.” You said while wiping his tears. “That relationship was too toxic for me and I can’t go back.”

“I’m sorry.” He said, voice too slow and too low to even hear but you did. “I’m so sorry.”

“Atsumu! You prick!” Your head whipped to the left at the familiar voice that boomed. Osamu barreled over to where you were but his steps slowed as he saw your figure caged inside Atsumu’s arms.

“Y/n.” He said, as if in a daze.

“Hi Osamu.” You greeted awkwardly since Atsumu’s stare is still hard and focused on your face. The alcohol seemed to have a toll on him and he was beginning to doze off. Either that, or he still did not process what you’ve been saying.

“Stop it, man.” Osamu came behind his twin and caught him by the collar. He turned to you next while carrying a limp Atsumu in his embrace. “I’m sorry for his behavior. He drinks more than he can take. He’s been out of it since… you know… your break up.”

You smiled sadly. “Oh.” Well, what were you supposed to say to that?

“Y/n!!! Come back here!” One of your friends saw you and waved you to the table.

“That’s my cue to go.” You smiled.

“Yeah.” Osamu nodded.

“Osamu, you’re here!” Atsumu woke up from his reverie and comically hugged his brother, surprising the both of you.

“You know what? Y/n was here! I told her I love her but she didn’t believe me! Tell her! Tell her for me! Maybe she’ll believe you! Help me man, I can’t lose her!”

Your chest burned at the sight and at his words. How you longed for him to say those three words in the past. But it’s just too late.

“Stop it, Tsumu.” Osamu whispered, heart aching for his twin. He saw how broken he was these past few months but then it was his fault after all. He shot you an apologetic look. “I’m sorry for this again. Take care, Y/n.”

“Take care too, Osamu.” You smiled. “Take care of him too.”

“I will.” He agreed then proceeded to take Atsumu to their table.

“It hurts, Samu.” Sudden whimpers came out from Atsumu’s mouth after a few steps. “It fucking hurts. I don’t think I can take this.”

“Imagine how she felt, you bastard.” Osamu sighed. “She really was a keeper, wasn’t she?”

Atsumu hummed in agreement. “She was. She still is.”

“Look, she’s gone, Tsumu. You need to move the fuck on and stop tormenting the poor girl! You’ve caused her enough pain.” Atsumu then was dumped harshly on the cushions.

“You don’t know what you have until it’s gone.” The saying rang in Atsumu’s ears, echoing louder and louder as the music in the club intensified throughout the night. It mocked him to the core! He drank himself to oblivion for months now, trying to forget your presence in his life. Visions of you were everywhere! You were in his room tucking him to bed. You were in the kitchen whipping up a random recipe from the internet. You were in his living room, dancing to his playlist even when you heard the songs for the first time. You were in the stands cheering for his every move. You were even on his morning jogs, passing his water bottle to make sure he’s hydrated.

You took care of him in the best way possible and he can’t believe how involved you were with his life. How did he not see that? He didn’t realize that what he bothered himself within the past were temporary things that brought temporary bliss. You were his life, his love. How could he throw something so serious? So permanent?

He watched you from afar, drunk as fuck but visions still sharp as a hawk on your side. You were happily talking to your friends, rewarding them with your gorgeous smile and wonderful laugh. Maybe this was his punishment for ever breaking someone as pure as you.

He may be close to where you were but he can never be too close to be yours again.

Okay wait HAHAHA I love Atsumu but I wanted to write an angsty post about him so here it is! This was inspired by the song “Bedroom” by JJ Lin and Anne- Marie. I just love that song so much, I have it on repeat rn.

ALSO YOU'RE SO WORTH IT AND YOU DESERVE THE BEST! Just reminding y'all in case you forgot. <3 hope you liked this one! <3

[59writes]

SEVENTEEN- REACTION: THEIR S/O GETS INJURED (PART 2)

(PART ONE)

part two of @honeyylin ‘s request!!! sorry it took so long honey ㅠㅠ

also check out honey’s acc!!! they’ve recently started writing fic so give em a visit!! <3

today’s photo theme is green green green green green green green green green green

(I didn’t proofread this I will when it’s not 5 am lol)

tw: food, injury

SEOKMIN

• *insert terrified screaming*

• yikes. this man. this poor fellow.

• he’s so worried about you!!!

• like. you’re fine. it’s not a big deal you just won’t be able to walk without crutches for a while

• but this man PHYSICALLY refuses to go to work

• Jihoon even comes to your apartment to beat Seokmin’s ass gently request he come to work cuz they kind of need him

• but no, because “y/n needs me more!!”

• please you’re fine. you can walk and you work from home already. you’ll live. You’ve been injured before.

• this goes in one ear and out the other!

• he will stay home and baby you and peek in your room every ten minutes like “hey are you ok???? do you need anything???”

• it’s kind of endearing

• the calls you keep getting from Seungcheol and Jihoon are not though because SOMEONE keeps forgetting to “call in sick” to work!!

• it’s just part of the whole shebang. he calms down eventually and gets over the anxiety of you getting even more hurt or struggling and goes back to the others

• but you bet your ass when he comes home at night you’re not going anywhere and he’s gonna baby you until he deems you all better

• also he definitely just likes babying you because he doesn’t declare you better until a week after the doctor does, “just to be safe!!!”

• he loves you very much and if anything we’re to happen to the love of his life he’d like. Evaporate on the spot

• 10/10 man right here

MINGYU

• ok so we know how clumsy this man is

• he technically knows how to take care of injuries

• also the injury was sort of maybe his fault ):

• he tripped over a damn rock and made you stumble too, falling and scraping up your leg

• and this poor man is apologizing faster than he raps

• you’re not badly hurt, and when the pain wears off you’re laughing

• and Mingyu’s all pouty lol

• and though you assure him that you’re ok and everyone trips up sometimes, he just wants to make it up to you

• he is also one of the other mfs who would make soup. him and Josh r gonna open a soup kitchen s2g

• but he’s also super cheesy and you wake up from a nap and see that Mingyu’s gone out and gotten flowers and made some nice food and made a little mini date in ur apartment

• and he just feels so bad !!!! please help this man

• once you joke that maybe you should get injured more often so you guys have more dates like this he finally really calms down

• but like I said, he’d know how to treat any injury

• maybe not well, and I’m sure this man’s instinctive response is “I will put a bandaid on it and move on with my life” but how focused he is when he is just wiping off dirt from your arm or leg or whatever and making you sit still while he gauzes it up is just really sweet he cares so much

MINGHAO

• this man does not know anything.

• I mean don’t get me wrong he’s incredibly smart and emotionally intelligent but also. there’s nothing in this man’s brain except for dastardly ideas

• and you nearly breaking your arm is not exactly a dastardly idea

• so he kinda just shuts down

• he wants to help !!! So bad !!!! but he can’t do anything !!!

• like he’s genuinely such a kind dude and always willing to help even if he teases about it and just always there

• and this is the one thing he can’t help with!!!

• so frustrated ):

• so he spends his time with you by lurking with a pout, ready for any request you had

• he definitely looks like a lost puppy ㅠㅠ

• maybe you act a little more helpless than usual so he can feel better about himself. just maybe

• seeing him brighten when you ask him to get the pasta from the top shelf or help with the laundry is completely worth getting hurt for!!

• eventually he cheers up and goes back to his normal and teasing ways

• and once you heal up he’s so glad he can hug you super tight again (:<

SEUNGKWAN

• Ah, Seungkwan.

• be prepared for lots of passive-aggressive scolding

• I mean when it first happens you can see the panic in this poor man’s eyes

• ok well technically you texted him about it but his reply was violently misspelled and he showed up at your house within 15 minutes

• tbh you should be scolding him because he definitely was speeding to get home that fast

• but he was scolding you!!!

• like wtf you’re already feeling shitty and then Seungkwan comes over and is acting like your mom

• but this man is emotionally mature!!!

• he notices how frustrated and snippy your replies get and calms down, hugging you tightly where you sit on the bathroom counter as he cleans you up

• complains about getting blood on his shirt tho the bastard

• but he definitely hangs out with you for the rest of the day and you catch up and eat ice cream while you lie around on the floor and it’s just. aju nice. (lol)

• he does his best to keep your mind off of any pain or struggling, and we all know this man is a master of distraction so it goes very well

• he’s a very home-y person and you always feel safe with him (:

VERNON

• his literal response is “well that’s not good”

• you fuckin call him like “hey sol I’m in urgent care kinda like. broke my arm” and he’s just like “Yeah that’s a problem”

• thank you Hansol “Sherlock” Chwe

• he is just. out of his element please this man will just stare at your cast or whatever with wide eyes like “yo you broke your arm” yes Vernon

• he’s kinda just fascinated ngl

• he lets you tell your story with wide eyes, beaming proudly when you said you didn’t cry

• he’s like “yeah that’s my partner (:< so cool and badass”

• he’s just very silly about it and doesn’t treat you any differently

• which is nice because you kinda hate people bringing attention to it cuz it’s annoying as shit already ):<

• and he’s already so helpful and willing to do chores or whatever so you don’t have to worry about carrying things or washing dishes or whatever cuz Vernon’s got it!!!

• plus it’s adorable how literally every night he’s just like “it’s so cool how you have a cast” like it’s the dumbest thing ever but he finds it so entertaining. like not even the fact you got hurt just like “holy shit like. it’s cement they basically cement your arm in place you have cement on your arm y/n you could knock someone out with that”

• he’s a cutie lol

CHAN

• ok contrary to popular belief I think he would handle it very well!!

• don’t get me wrong this man is PANICKING under the surface but like. he’s so calm about it on the outside??? hello????

• you call him during practice like “hey so I kinda got hurt I’m ok tho, at the doctor rn” and he’s just like “yes ok are you ok?!”

• little dude lol

• and even though you are, in fact, completely fine, he’s gotta worry smh it’s his job!!

• he comes home and listens to the story as he helps you change the bandages with the most gentle hands ))))):

• and being near you definitely helps calm him down

• he’s back to teasing and being goofy in no time

• this man also definitely knows some medical shit idk what makes me think that but he knows how to like. deal with an injury.

• he definitely is very medically aware idk man I feel like he listens to doctor speak cuz it’s cool and is like “oh yeah go ice that you don’t want it cramping up” whenever one of the other guys complains about something minor lol

• he’s very caring ): I love he sm (:

• he can be a little rat but he knows when to stop and be an ally and what an excellent ally he is!!!!!!!!!

I’m so sorry I’ve never done an after note like this before but seeing all the green and plants makes me think of this damn tweet and I can’t stop laughinh

“he has pollen allergy” I’m sobbing please

[multi-fxndom446]

Do you notice?

Mammon X Reader

When I tell you this one was literally haunting me and I couldn’t sleep till I wrote it- it is 4am rn. I guess I’ll see if I still like it tomorrow anyways I hope what I said under this made sense👇🏻👇🏻

If the words look like this it’s what’s currently happening.

If they look like this, it’s mammon’s thoughts.

If they look like this is flashback

~~

Mammon stood in front of you at a loss for words. He was pacing alone in his bedroom just moments before this before he decided to hype himself up enough to come to you and tell you what he wanted to say. But now, looking at you and how how your confused gaze burned holes into him, he realized maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.

Baby when you sleep do you dream of me?

And when you’re awake, do you think of me?

“I need to know how do you feel?” He had finally gotten out, yet still refused to look you in the eyes. And even with that sentence it wasn’t everything his head was telling him to confess to you.

~

You and mammon were in your room like always yet it somehow felt calmer then usual. Maybe it was the fact Mammon was being oddly silent or that you were just to tired but as you fell asleep next to him, you realized it was because Mammon was focused on helping you rest.

He didn’t want to say anything to distract you from sleep so he stayed quiet. He had seen how tired you were at RAD, how overworked you seemed. So when you all got home and after you ate dinner he made sure you went straight to your room and locked the door so his brothers wouldn’t come in and keep you from the sleep you needed.

He ran his fingers through your hair which was something he knew you enjoyed and watched as it eventually lulled you to sleep. Even when you were asleep he didn’t stop playing with your hair.

His hands were gentle as they carded through the soft strands and he smiled to himself. He almost wondered what you dreamed about, if you ever did dream.

He took the time to admire you, as if he didn’t admire you enough at RAD that same day.

~

“Mammon?”

Before you could continue to ask something else he continued.

“Cause baby when I sleep I dream of you and when I’m awake that’s all I do.” He took a chance to glance at you, you seemed stunned. “Think about every detail you have.”

~

He’d often watch you in class, the way you focused on the lesson or the way you tried not to fall asleep. He never seemed to be able to focus even before you arrived in Devildom but since knowing you it’s gotten worse.

He’d spend most of his time in class admiring you, seeing every detail about you that he already has memorized. He watched with a loving smile as you’d turn to Satan for help or how you’d lean into Asmo to hear what he knew about the other demons in class. Stuff that usually made him jealous, he couldn’t seem to find it in him when he saw how happy you were.

Walking in the halls though if you weren’t walking with him he would definitely be a little disappointed. Especially if you chose to walk with Lucifer instead.

He’d watched with a frown on his face as you listened to whatever his brother had to say, you seemed so invested. Nothing he ever said to you had you this invested.

He almost turned to walk away in his fit when you saw him in the corner of your eye and you turned to him, giving him the most loving smile and immediately he melted.

He really could never get you out of his head.

~

Do you notice when I get mad, I clench my jaw?

Do you notice when I get sad, I tend to fall?

“Do you look at my words I say to you?”

~

Sometimes Mammon would wonder if you picked up on small details about him, details that’d he’d know about you.

He wondered if you ever noticed what he did whenever he got nervous, or jealous or mad. He was wondering that now as he watched you joke around with Beel and he clenched his jaw in anger.

He seemed to keep it that way for longer then he’d thought because next thing he knew you were in front of him, cupping his jaw and immediately he relaxed.

“You okay?” You asked him and he could only find it in him to nod but you looked down at his hands to see him starting to crack his knuckles, something he did when he was anxious.

So you smiled softly and brought both of your hands to his to hold them still. He stared at you wide eyed as you kissed his knuckles softly before you were pulled away by Levi to go play a new video game.

~

“Cause I notice when you get mad, you close your eyes and I notice when you are sad you let out sighs.” He looked to the floor again before quietly saying, “I need to know, are those sighs ever over me?”

You were on your last straw and Mammon could tell. His brothers all had been bugging you all week over different things, getting mad at the others for trying to steal you away and you were caught in the middle of there annoying bickering.

He noticed you close your eyes in anger. Something you did to try and stop yourself from yelling or arguing.

“Oi! Leave y/n alone!” Mammon started to shoo them away, “shes had a long day you can hang out later.”

When they all looked towards you they realized for once Mammon was right and all of them begrudgingly walked away.

He sat next to you on the couch in silence, noticing you start to play with your fingers. A thing he noticed you did when you got overwhelmed or nervous. But he also knew if you kept playing with them, they’d become raw from how much you rubbed them.

So quietly he put his hand in your lap and immediately your fingers went to play with his and twist his rings to distract yourself.

He glanced at you from the corner of his eye to see you let out a sigh and his heart ached. He wondered if he ever overwhelmed you like his brothers did.

~

Finally he looked you in your eyes as you stared at him with confusion. You seemed stunned, at a loss for words for what you were hearing. He was losing it, his words weren’t being clear, or not as clear as he wanted them to be.

So he decided to blurt out what he came to say to you in the first place. “Do you know how in love with you, I am?” He held his hands up to his chest, “do you see how in love with you, I am?” He clutched his shirt in desperation for the words to get through to you, “everything that you do it makes my heart stop.”

Oh it stops

“So baby when you sleep, do you think of me?” He seemed to calm down but he seemed almost sad to you now.

His hands dropped to his sides and once again he refused to look at anything but the floor. Almost expecting you to slam your door in his face.

“Mammon,” immediately his head shot up when he heard the crack in your voice and he felt guilt course through him when he saw tears in your eyes.

“What-?! I didn’t mean to make ya cry! Wait y/n I’m sorry! I didn’t mean-“ but before he could finish his sentence you lunged at him, wrapping your arms around his neck. He slowly wrapped his around your waist, scared this was some kind of dream.

You laughed through a relieved sob, “I’m in love with you too!” His eyes widened before his own tears came to his eyes and he hid his face in your neck.

“Of course you do.” You could only laugh before pulling away from him to wipe away the tears on his face and he did the same for you.

“See how easy that was?” You teased and his face flushed red as he muttered ‘shut up’ before cupping your jaw and leaning down to connect your lips.

It was a short kiss, one to basically confirm that this was real and that this was happening and when you kissed him back he felt his heart do flips.

When you pulled away you leaned your head against his and his fingers went to twirl the ends of your hair, “I love you Mammon.” You whispered softly

“I love you too y/n.

~~~

[whump-town]

Hospital

A hurt Emily fic for idk anyone. I just wrote it forever ago and just got around to finishing the ending... Hotchniss and whump soo I’m also like obsessed rn with retired Hotch and Emily still working but also like old Hotchniss is really soft 

“Hotch!” His large dark figure jogs down the hall. Even aged, cheeks covered with a soft greying beard, and hair a little longer than what used to be typical, it takes Garcia only a glance to know that it’s him. A single glance to recognize the distinct way that he exists in space. She rises to her feet to meet him as he comes to a breathless halt. “What’re you doing here?”

He’s shaking, eyes scanning over the little crowd of them. “Where--” he recognizes them even if he doesn’t know them. Luke Alvez, Emily’s always going on about him. Hotch had hired the young man and Emily never stops reminding him of that. He’s surmised the younger man is to her what she used to be to him-- a pain in the ass. Matt Simmons, tall, charming, and looks exactly the same as the first time Hotch met him years ago. Tara, whom he knows, and respects for her ability to work so flawlessly with Emily. Then JJ and Reid.

“Where is she,” he asks. A few years ago, he would never be putting on the show that he is right now. He certainly wouldn’t be standing here. He’d be off hidden somewhere, reeling with emotions and probably being an ass to anyone unfortunate enough to run into him. But not today. “Where’s Emily?”

They’ve been doing this little dance for ages. For longer than it even matters to count. He hadn’t been brave enough to say anything, never has been. So, even after thousands of letters back and forth from London, Emily coming home to help the team, and stopping Scratch… She’d found him, though.

Weekends started revolving around her schedule. She and Jack spending time together, to make up for how she left things after Doyle. Then… they didn’t even need Jack. They started texting again. She’d tell him about Luke and Reid getting into trouble. How Matt has the cutest kids. That Garcia is dragging them out for a girls’ night.

And, standing in the middle of this hospital corridor, he finally understands what it’s like to be on the other half. What it must have been like for Haley and Will and Luke’s wife. To not know if the other half of you is…

Dave appears from the hall, calm. He smiles when he spots Hotch. “Aaron,” he calls, with a small wave. For old friends, he hasn’t seen much of the man since his retirement. More than the team, Jack’s a very big fan of weekends spent up at Dave’s house but still. It’s been a while.

“Dave,” Hotch breaths. He steps up to the older man, twisting and anxiously pulling at his hands. Trying to work the stress out of his body. “Is she okay?”

Rossi looks the younger man over. In this state, he’s not going to be nearly as soothing as Dave needs him to be. Emily’s hurting and she’s asking for Hotch but they’re going to be like gas on a house fire if he lets them near one another right now. “Sit down,” he instructs, motioning to the chairs.

Hotch’s bottom lips trembles, his voice thick as he barely manages to form Rossi’s name. “Dave, please,” he rasp.

Rossi doesn’t budge.

Knees shaking under him, Hotch sinks heavily into the chair. He leans over himself, elbows on his knees. “I don’t have time for this,” he complains, working his fingers through his hair.  He rubs at his face, sniffling as he roughly wipes the tears that fall against his will.

He glances up when a hand falls on his back, Tara offers him a smile. “She’s strong,” Tara informs him with a strength that he wished he had. “I was with her the entire time,” Tara inhales calmly, drawing her shoulders up with the breath. If she wants to reflect the calm that Hotch needs, she needs to look the part. With a nod of her head she adds, “she was aware the entire time. Trying to give orders and keep us calm.”

He nods his head, bottom lip still trembling and eyes rimmed with the tears that he refuses to let fall. “Sounds like Emily,” he manages, eyes shifting to the team as they nod agreeance. Her team. He’d left the BAU to her and she’d nestled and nurtured like she does everything. Looking at them, gathered around him and just as worried as he is, he can’t imagine why she’d ever been so afraid to take over.

“Alright,” Rossi sighs. He sits down beside Aaron, preparing himself. He’d seen her. Not her power of attorney but still trusted enough that his name was the second one she thought of when she woke up. She needed someone and Aaron hadn’t been here. “She’s sedated--” he holds up his hand when Hotch tries to cut in. “I know, I’ve already requested they pull her off the medication. I know she doesn’t like it.”

Pushing his hand through his own hair he sighs, “she’s… tired but she wants to see you.” Hotch nods. “You have to be calm.”

“I’ll be fine.”

Dave shakes his head but caves, “alright.”

She’d taken a hit straight to her vest. Laid out on her back struggling to breathe, she’d realized that she’s way too fucking old for this. She remembered all the times Aaron had tried to convince her back to bed in the early mornings. Practically begging her to just take the day off. To stay here with him.

When she wakes up in the hospital, stiff and in pain, all she wants is him. Someone to hold her hand and to pull her hair off of her back. It’s itchy and she hates it.

Seeing Dave, she could have cried. So certain he was going to deny her and tell her Aaron wasn’t coming.

“Aaron,” she whispers, a sob bubbling its way up out of her throat. She’s too weak and hurting to reach out for him but he doesn’t break stride when he sees her. “There you are,” she can’t remember what happened between taking that shot to the vest and now. There’s a faint, faint, memory of the feeling of her blood pooling around her. Fear. She’d been afraid. Now, face pressed into his shoulder and his arms wrapped tightly around her, she’s not afraid at all.

Pressing her face into his clothes she smiles, “you smell good.”

He laughs but it’s chocked and sounds more like a scoff. “Thanks,” he croaks. Sniffling, he pulls back from her hug. There’s a fleck of blood on her neck, leftover from the wound on her side. He’s already mapping out ways to keep her comfortable when he gets to take her home. The couch isn’t any good but their bedroom is on the second floor of their house. He’s a little too old to be carrying her but he already knows he’ll pull his back out before he makes her walk up the stairs.

“I like the beard,” she whispers dreamily, fingers scratching at his facial hair.

He places his hand over hers, cupping her hand there.

“Aaron--”

He covers his mouth, looking away as his breathing hitches his tears to fall.

“Honey,” she whispers, tugging his hand when he keeps himself turned from her. Trying to hide his tears. “You don’t have to hide,” she reminds him softly. He still keeps his head turned. “Well, if you’re going to hide your tears will you at least make yourself useful and come over here and cuddle me, huh? I’m tried and I’m in pain and I don’t sleep alone.”

He shakes his head, pulling his hand from hers, wiping at his face.

“I wasn’t playing,” she clarifies. “I need another blanket and your big dumb butt up here with me.”

Rubbing his tears away, Hotch forces himself to breathe. To calm down. Clearing his throat, he goes to the closet on the other side of the room. Retrieving her second blanket. “There’s not enough room on there for me,” he informs her, spreading the blanket and draping it over her delicately.

She frowns, sadly looking down at the room between her sides and the railing. She’s pouting. Very childishly so but he can’t stand to see her sad and she knows it. “Please,” she whispers. “Won’t you just try?”

He sighs and she knows she’s won.

He’s terrified he’ll hurt her but she’s completely okay with that.

“How,” he’s half on the edge, scratching at the side of his face as he tries to figure out how to lay on his side or--

“I don’t care,” she replies, head leaning on the pillow as she watches him. She’s always thought his thinking was rather hot. So analytic and logical. Funny thing is, both of those traits also annoy the hell out of her.

With a nod of his head, she can see he’s come up with his plan. He’s got his “business” face on, or, as she calls it, his “Agent Hotchner” face. It’s very distinct and cute.

“Oh careful with the hands mister,” she giggles, smiling when he places a hand on her stomach, carefully maneuvering himself around her. His thumb grazes her breast and she’s only in this hospital gown. He rolls his eyes but she knows he loves her little jokes.

When he stops moving, he’s successfully managed to get mostly behind her, allowing her to lean back against his chest. A favorite cuddling position of hers. He’s very content with himself. She’s happily moving herself to nestle as closely as she can.

“You’re very warm,” she informs him, wincing when she pulls on her sore side. He rubs her back and she can feel herself relaxing again. Everything is warm. Her head is on his chest, she can hear his heart beating, and his breath running down under her gown across her skin. She’s not going to be able to stay awake like this.

“Emily?”

His voice has thickened again and she can hear the tears in his voice. Without opening her eyes she finds his leg and pats it, trying her best sleepy and hurting to comfort him as best she can. “What is it, my love?” She doesn’t make a habit of using little monikers like that in their day-to-day life but occasionally it’s the best way to remind him she loves him.

“I love you,” he whispers, “you know that, right.”

She smirks, he’s always so anxious. Terrified one day she’ll wake up and doubt every minute of the last decade. “I know,” she assures him. “Most of the time,” she amends with a smile, “I doubt it a little when you wake me up snoring or leave the toilet seat up.”

He smiles and shakes his head.

Good, she thinks and sighs contently. They’re going to be okay.

[creepypocky]

Epic Jeff fluff

Feeling sad asf rn so I’m gonna make a Jeff The Killer fluff and angst

Warnings: Angst, strong language, mentions of depression/suicide

Includes: A bunch of fluff and feelz :)

Word count: 691

Tears streaming down your face, you slam the door behind you and try your best to wipe the salty liquid from your cheeks and stinging eyes.

“Fuck this. I’m fucking done.” You choke out, falling to your knees. You can’t think or feel anything as you just silently sob, not even bothering to wipe your tears away anymore. Pain pools up in your chest and your ears start to ring as you feel the urge to just quit. The urge to simply throw yourself on a knife or just jump off a 10 story building.

You weren’t in the correct state to know any better, your mind was clouded and only after one thing as you reached for the knife on the table. You silently screamed, the pain was too much for you to make any sounds.

You bring the knife up to your neck and let out a cry of desperation, but as you inch it closer you don’t notice the tall figure rushing towards you.

Before you’re able to do anything else, your hand is roughly grabbed and the knife is thrown out of your hand. You ignore the pain in your wrist from his harsh grip and look up at your boyfriend through your teary vision.

“The fuck is wrong with you???” He asks in anger, but even through your clouded vision you can see the worry and concern for you in his lidless eyes.

You can’t even answer. You just let out more broken sobs, and he sighs heavily and roughly shakes your hand. “Fucking answer me. What were you going to do with that knife?!” He asked again, raising his voice.

You just shake your head, unable to answer him. It wasn’t like you didn’t want to, you just couldn’t make any words come out. The pain was too unbearable for you. He sighs again, but this time he doesn’t do anything mean. Or talk to you. He just drops down to your level and wraps his large arms around you.

You can feel his hot breath on your neck as you quickly return the hug, not even needing to exchange words with him to tell him this is what you need. You bury your head in your chest and just start screaming and crying, letting him rub your back soothingly and allow you to let it all out.

You two just sat there on the floor for the next 10 minutes, and he had no problem with staying there with you every second helping you calm down by rubbing your back and whispering sweet things into your ear.

Eventually you pull away and look up at him, not crying as much anymore.

As you tell him what happened and why you had the knife, he nods and presses his forehead to yours. “I love you.” He says, making you feel warm. Normally when he said it, it would be in a joking manner, or awkward. Maybe even sarcastic sometimes. But in rare situations like this, it felt so genuine. There was no bad tone in his voice as he muttered those 3 special words to you, and you let out a broken laugh as you said it back to him with just as much feeling.

After a few minutes the two of you settle onto the couch and he turns the TV on to play a shitty horror movie for you two to forget about the world with. You’re resting your head on his chest as he has his arms around you, your arm around his waist.

He usually was never this affectionate, but surprisingly, it was during times like these where he knew he couldn’t be an asshole. Surprise surprise, he actually really gives a shit about you. Would do almost anything for you if you just asked.

“You know I would be lost without you, right?” He whispers to you, squeezing you a little tighter. You squeeze him back, rubbing his chest with your cheek lovingly. You nod, and the both of you just lay there ignoring the movie, just talking to each other and cuddling like nothing else and nobody else exists.